#but by the time its 3 imma be wide awake

[moon-mine679]

i hate falling asleep on the couch and waking up an hour before bed

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

night

[subby-kpop]

Hyunjin waking you up with oral (afab!reader)

⚠️nsfw, 18+, pussy eating, established relationship, unedited fanfic, dw imma edit this in the morning, edited version <3

It’s Friday night. After relaxing together in each other’s arms, you had fallen asleep to the sound of the tv show you guys were binging. It had been a particularly stressful week and by the time midnight rolled around you had long given up trying to keep your eyes open. The feeling of Hyunjin tracing hearts in your skin wasn’t much help either. Actually, Hyunjin was still wide awake. First, he had thought your sleeping face was funny and spared no moments taking a few pics for blackmail, but when you continued to sleep peacefully he couldn't help but notice how adorable you looked curled up against him. By the episode on the tv came to an end, he had come to realize just how much he loved your sleepy face… and well, you.

As soft as his heart may have been feeling at that moment, his dick was having an altogether different realization. And by that I mean it was semi-hard and starting to strain against his pants. A little embarrassed that he got this hard so easily, Hyunjin racked his brain on how to fix his "little" dilemma without just straight-up hentai-perv jacking off to your sleeping figure.

Suffice to say, your relationship with Hyunjin was pretty open. Both of you guys were the type to talk about your fantasies openly and rarely had any qualms about making your desires known to each other. Fortunately for him, one of yours happened to be waking up to oral.

And that’s exactly what you did. Hyunjin had already been eating you out for some time when you had woken up, surprised at the impossible wetness you were feeling below. Hyunjin’s eyes were blown out, already fucked out, from the taste of of your pussy. Seeing you wake up and that curve of 'o' your mouth made when you find him below nearly sends him over the edge. Doubly so when you give him that 'o' so quickly melts into a lazy smirk, a half-lidded, half-asleep look of unabashed pleasure. Only when he nearly cums does he realize he had been grinding against the couch for a while now.

From there on it's almost a chain reaction. You reached down to grab hold of his hair, making him groan straight into your clit. The vibrations of his voice plus the unwonted lewdness of his voice sent you over the edge, only to make him fall along with you. Pleasure courses through you as you feel Hyunjin shiver at the power of his orgasm after being on edge for so long.

After coming down from his orgasm, Hyunjin goes right back to eating you out again. Turns out the taste of your pussy after his orgasm just might be one of his favorite things. With that signature look equal parts needy and mischievous, he goes back to eating you out and licking up your hole before your overstimulation becomes just a little too much, and you grab his chin to pull him up for a kiss instead. It’s messy and its wanton, but both of you relish each other’s tastes as you lick your juices off his lips. You stay like that for a while, mouths open, kissing disgustingly wet. Even though it's become that timeless, dizzying part of the night, you keep warm in each others arms.

[matsur1]

Hakkai x f!reader A/n: Naur warnings just absolute fluff this time too, I got carried away bc Hakkai is such a AHDHUFJBAUEJFD yk what I'm saying?? This is all rightfully written by me!! and it isn't proofread yet bc I'm tired rn- imma read this later and edit some mistakes<3 (sugardaddy hakkai /j LMFAO)

Word count: 1.5k

Hakkai wasn’t totally introverted. He was quite an extrovert, but to girls? Oh he is way past than just an introvert.

And today happened to be the routine for him. Until he saw you. A lady with such gorgeous features who passed by in front of his house, walking by the sidewalk. The first thing that came to his mind was, “Taka-chan would surely like to have a model like her!” 

He unwillingly stared at you while you were walking, then he realized that you just happened to live a few blocks away. He shook his head to focus back on what he was doing, he mumbled to himself, ‘I should get her off my mind, it’s not like I could have the guts to walk up to her and say hi.’ Or so he thought. His mind kept replaying the scene, keeping him awake all night. He felt his cheeks warm up as he observed your beauty in his head. And so, that night was the worst yet best night he ever had. 

Rays of light peeking through the curtains, eyelids feeling heavy, he recalled what happened yesterday.

But Hakkai brushed it off and began his day with delicious breakfast and coffee while he watched tv. That’s when he thought of you again. He thought, why not shoot his shot? It wouldn’t be too bad, would it? However, this being Hakkai’s first love slaps him to reality. He thinks about how he doesn’t even talk to girls or pay attention to them at all. So how could a man like him have a chance with such a gorgeous woman like you?

But then, his doorbell rang. Shocked to hear his doorbell, he walks as fast as he can to his door to see who it was. Hakkai’s jaw dropped to see who was there. Standing at his doorstep, right in front of him, there stood the fine lady he’d seen yesterday.

“Hello! Good morning,�� you spoke and nervously chuckled.

“Hi,” was all he could blurt out at the moment.

“I uh, have a small gift since I just moved here, I’m Y/n,” you responded and gave tarts as a small gift to Hakkai just like you did to your other neighbors.

He replied, “Oh yeah, thanks. I’m Hakkai, I hope you have a great stay here.”

Waving goodbyes at each other after your small talk, Hakkai felt a ray of hope. Placing the tarts you gave on the table, he sat on his chair while his heart raced. Too stunned to believe he had a conversation with you. He then planned to ask you out today for a little dinner. He was only four blocks away from you, so he planned and practiced alone on how he’d ask you out.

Later on, the moon makes its peak into the sky, along with bright stars. He follows his plan and walks on the way to your house. Wearing a white turtleneck with a beige suit and matching pants along with it. He wore a few rings too. It suited him very well. Well he IS a model after all. His shoe kept clacking as he walked. A few moments later, he finally reaches your house and seeing lights turned on, he assumes you’re home. He took a deep breath until finally, Ding dong your doorbell rang.

You went at your door as quickly as you could. The moment you opened your door you were quite shocked. “Oh it’s the attract- Hakkai,” you thought. Not knowing he was a model, you fought back your blush just like when you rang his doorbell earlier that day. Just like him, you never got his face out of your mind all day too. “Oh hey, what’s up?” you questioned. “Hey there, weird but I wanted to uh,” he paused for a moment, putting his hand on the back of his neck. “Hm?” 

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to dinner…? With me tonight -” “ -If possible,” he continued, a visible blush appearing from both of your faces.

“Of course! If you have time to wait, I’ll get ready in a moment?” You politely asked. “Yeah, sure,” Hakkai replied along with a sigh of relief. You then widely open your door as a sign of inviting him inside your house. You both came inside, and you welcomed him, “Make yourself at home while I get ready! Things haven’t been in place yet but there’s food in the fridge if you’d like.” While you rushed into your room, Hakkai sat on the couch in the living room, taking a good look.

A few minutes passed by, and you finally came out of your room. You wore a beige dress that you found in your closet to match Hakkai’s fit. “I’m ready to go!” you happily exclaimed. “You look great,” Hakkai responded with a big smile on his face. You both stepped out and Hakkai led you to his McLaren 720s.

Flashback, he actually just borrowed that from Taiju for this date. When he called Taiju and asked him, Taiju ofc said yes but he was a bit suspicious, so Taiju went and told Yuzuha the tea which led to Yuzuha spam texting and calling Hakkai and asked what this was about. Yuzuha, as Hakkai’s sister, had a gut feeling that he was actually going on a date, so Yuzuha smirked and said, “well then, if you don’t wanna tell me then whatever.” Hakkai sighed in victory until Yuzuha continued, “Just have fun on your date bro,” and ended the call. Hakkai got very flustered.

Going back to present time, Hakkai opened the passenger seat for you, like the gentleman he is, and closed it for you. You were amazed and let out a small “woah” which made Hakkai let out a small chuckle. You both were quiet the whole time, probably thinking of what to say when you both get into the restaurant. And there you were! At a classy and fancy restaurant that Hakkai chose. You both took your seats and told the waiter what you both wanted. While waiting, Hakkai spoke, “So, how’s your stay been so far?” he tried not to sound nervous and be casual. “It’s been good! All the neighbors were very nice to me. Especially you, since it hasn’t been too long and you’re taking me out to dinner. I admit, a bit weird but dinner with you sounded great,” you responded. Hakkai let out a small and quite deep hum as a response to what you said. You started the conversation his time, “Curious, no need to answer, but what exactly do you do for a living? I have to say, I’m quite impressed.” Hakkai wasn’t expecting that question, but he replied, “Thank you, I actually model for my friend! He’s a really good seamster.”  You thought, ‘No wonder he’s attractive’ you were basically internally screaming too. Your heart beating so fast and loud you only hoped he couldn’t hear it. “Ohh, what a coincidence. I used to model too! Not until I had to move here tho, but it’s no biggie,” you commented. Hakkai was so happy that you both were models. He knew you both would agree on so many things. “Hmm, if you’d like to model again, I could maybe introduce you to my friend? Then we’d both be his models and we’d be co-workers!” He happily responded. But then both of your orders came, and you had to eat before going back to that topic again.

After you both deliciously ate your meals, you started the conversation again. “Thank you for the meal. So, as you mentioned earlier about introducing me to your friend, I’d love to! Only if he thinks I fit as a model for him though,” you acknowledged. “Okay. How about the weekends? Does that sound good?” Hakkai asked. You hummed a ‘mhm’ as a response. 

Later on, you both went on your way home. Hakkai properly drove you back and dropped you off to your door shouting, “See you on the weekends, Y/n!” You replied, “Yep! See ya and thanks for dinner!” and closed your door. As soon as the both of you went home, you both dressed up into your pajamas and immediately slept, excited to meet again on the weekends.

The weekends came, you were quite nervous to meet Hakkai’s friend. Then you reached the building where Hakkai’s friend was. Of course, Hakkai had told his friend beforehand, so he was also looking forward to meeting you. The moment you reached in front of his door, Hakkai rang the doorbell and yelled, “Taka-chan!!!! We’re here!” The door opened and you and his lilac-haired friend greeted each other. Soon welcoming you into his sewing room. That’s where Hakkai introduced you to each other. “So Y/n, I heard you’d like to be my model?” Mitsuya asked. “Yes, only if I fit into your expectations though.” You replied. “Well then, you’re in! The more the merrier. Am I right, Hakkai?” Mitsuya questioned Hakkai. “Mhm,” Hakkai agreed.

Now of course, Mitsuya knew what was going on between you two. The moment Hakkai told him he found a girl who wanted to be his model, he very much knew. While you and Hakkai were merrily celebrating, Mitsuya mumbled to himself, “What a power couple these two would be.” 

© Matsuri

[bloodypeachblog]

late night insomnia journal #1

Hey, decided to do a journal to help me fight my insomnia. Let you guys take a peek into my life and mind, maybe talk about life and shit. Maybe I might make this a thing, who knows? But anywho...

Just having a lonely late night, in bed, listening to lo-fi in the dark, trying to sleep but I'm wide awake.

Kinda feels like I'm in a different world feeling like this, ya know? Like I'm in one of those pictures of the girl in just a pj shirt and underwear while in my bed in my low-income apartment with the lights of the cyberpunk city poking through the blind-covered window.

Probably doesn't make sense, I know. Just rambling cause I got nothing better to do.

And if you're wondering, yes, I'm on medication for my insomnia. I've even taken one of those Unisom gel capsules (which is basically benadryl), but this is just one of those nights where my medicine doesn't want to make me sleepy.

I've been coming off of Elavil because of all the bad side effects, and so far I'm doing ok. I've been weaning myself off it for about a year anyways, so luckily the withdrawals are almost nonexistent now. My parents had me prescribed that when I was a kid (like 5 years old!) to shut me up at night, and its fucked me up ever since, so I chose to stop taking it (talked with my doc about it, of course).

...you know...this is quite a change of subject, but..I just wish I had more friends to hang out with or do stuff with. I mean, chatting and interacting with my mutuals on here is fun, I love it. But it doesn't beat just having a buddy to just come over and do stuff with, like watch movies, talk about your cool collections, play video games, just hanging out. After high school, your school friends always stray far from you, to the point of never hearing from them. Happened with almost every single one of them for me. If you're lucky, you kept at least 2 or 3 friends and you do stuff. But me? All I can do is sit in my house and talk to them through a screen because they're miles away and I can't even drive because no license or no vehicle. I'm basically trapped in my own house, like a prison.

Some days are fine, but other days, I just want human contact. That's probably why I decided to stick around here.

Sounds creepy coming from a 27 year old woman, talking about wanting to be around people, eh? I dunno, I'm sure someone feels that way.

I am very grateful for my besties @fatgumsupremacy and @omniuravity . You guys are the best and you guys make my days brighter with your posts and our interactions. I have other friends here that I'm grateful for too, but I can't list them all right now. Thank you all of you.

....I really wish my boyfriend stayed longer. He was only able to stay a day and a half. That's really not enough time.. I still remember him telling me that the moment they (he and his mom) left my driveway, their hearts broke. I still remember hugging the blanket my boyfriend kept himself warm with close to me while I cried. ....I wish he was here...I wish he stayed...

Great, now I feel like crying. Not heavily, but enough to let a few tears out. Or maybe it's just me finally getting tired. Imma try to get some sleep now. Wish me luck!

Night everyone. Take care!

[granddaughterogg]

Hey not sure if you did this before but... How would the horsemen react to their s/o having the flu. (I'm sick and crave affection) 🤒🤒🤒

Sorry that answering to this one took me so long! You’re probably all better by now.

But anyway:

You woke up one grey autumn morning and even before you’ve unglued your eyelids - everything was terrible. Your head was throbbing with a dull ache. Your bones felt as if filled with lead. You opened your eyes, made the heroic attempt to sit up - and groaned when your whole body spasmed with a violent shiver.

“Oh, for fucks’ sake”, you mumbled and then called out…

1. “War!…”

Your voice sounded ridiculous - nasal, scratchy and weak, as if someone has stuffed damp cotton wool inside your sinuses. That confirmed your grim suspicions.

But he heard you anyway. The whole house trembled with the reverb of the Red Rider’s heavy steps. He stomped into your shared bedroom, filling it completely with that transatlantic frame of his. You noticed that War had already put on his battle gear. It made him even chunkier.

“What’s wrong?” He fell close to you, his body taut, his head low, lightning blue eyes scanning the room. Always on the lookout for enemies, that one. Always ready to protect you.

But this enemy has attacked from the inside.

“War…” you groaned, putting one hand on his iron arm. It was pleasantly cold to the touch. And you were burning.

“No one’s here, baby. I’m just sick.”

“Oh.” The Big Guy relaxed from his battle stance and looked you in the eyes, those wide silver eyebrows scrunching in worry. “Is it…your monthly affliction?”

This guy grew up with a sister, yet he was still such a Victorian when it came to phrasing those things. You would probably laugh if you didn’t feel so weak.

“No, War. But I’m hurting all over and I’m pretty sure I have a fever. I feel bad asking you this since you’re all dressed up for work already…but could you be a darling and get me some Tylenol? And maybe Vitamin C as well?

“My mission can wait”, War stated, making your heart aflutter. “Are you sure that those concoctions will suffice though? What else do you require?”

You scratched your head.

“Hot tea, I guess? A whole jug of it would be nice. Squeeze a lemon in it, will you? Just leave the peel outside…if you can.”

“I shall do my utmost”, said your boyfriend solemnly (you fought the urge to giggle again) and left the room.

2. “Strife!”

It was a weak cry. He obviously didn’t hear it. So you tried again.

“Strife!”

Still nothing. What was that giant doofus doing at such an ungodly hour anyway? He should be lying next to you, snoring like a woolly mammoth.

“STRIFE!!! GET YER ASS HERE, PRONTO!”

That worked. You’ve hear some penetrating, metallic noise coming from inside the house. What followed was a yelp, than a shuffle of feet - and some muffled curses.

He stuck his bed head through the doorframe.Technically speaking, it’s always been a bed head. Gravity happened to other heads of hair. Strife’s was just…defiantly spiky.

“You awake, babe?”

“Nope. I’m hollering your name in my sleep”, you snorted.

He flashed you a toothy grin. “Aww. How romantic!”

“Please come back to the trite reality, Strife. I really need you to.”

“No worries, pumpkin. Your screaming made me drop Redemption on my foot! And I was really getting somewhere with that improvement, too - “

“Earth to the Horseman”, you sighed. “I am ill, Strife. And I feel like shit.”

His whole face changed in a heartbeat.

“Oh, babe.” Suddenly Strife was all up in your grill, the revolver forgotten on the floor behind him, wide black eyebrows pulled together, his large fingers framing your face. Which was hot.

“Oh, bubbles. You’re burnin’.” Strife’s touched your forehead a few times, just to be sure - and left a generous amount of gun grease behind. “You’re burnin’! Is this something humans do?”

“Well, we’re not supposed to…” you murmured.

His yellow eyes went round with panic. “Will you die?”

“What?”

“Please don’t die on me!”

You stifled a long, hearty sigh.

“I won’t kick the bucket that easily. But I need you to bring me tea and some meds. And stop being such a drama llama. It’s not helping.”

He did. And after that he went under the duvet and enclosed you in a firm embrace, refusing to let go until you get better. The fever made your head swirl; you were sleepy. Your consciousness drifted away. The whole world was just Strife’s earthy smell, mixed with the tinge of gun oil and then nothingness.

3. “Death!…”

“There’s no need for making noise”, a gravelly voice observed. “I am right here.”

“Death…” Your head snapped to the left and indeed, there he was. Sat cross-legged on the floor next to the window. A streak of dim morning light glimmered in his tar black hair, bringing out the purple undertones. He was sharpening one of his smaller scythes. His large hand swiftly moved up and down its blade, producing a tiny, piercing grind. You’d probably hear it earlier if your ears weren’t so clogged.

“Yes?” His voice was as level as his movements. It soothed you, this steadiness.

Death can take care of this. Take care of you.

“I am sick, D. Down with some bloody flu. My whole body aches.”

His face darted upwards; two blazing eyes met yours and then slid along your whole frame. There was nothing lecherous about it. Not this time. He simply assessed your state. Took it all in; the bleary gaze, the dark circles under your eyes, your unnatural paleness.

He silently put the weapon away. Stood up, leaned over you and cautiously swiped one damp streak of hair away from your sweaty face.

If two years ago someone told you that you’ll consider the literal Grim Reaper a comfort-inducing sight, you’d ask them if they’ve hit their heads.

But so much has happened during those two years. Like the whole Apocalypse.

“So it seems”, he said. “Which is unfortunate. What do you need me to do?”

You told him. You swallowed some pills (unlike Strife, D didn’t need to be instructed twice about where they’re kept), you had a cup of intensely lemony tea with ginger and some acacia honey, which he threw in in for good measure - and then you flopped onto the bedsheets.

“Imma gonna lie back down now…” you mumbled, your eyes already closing on their own.

Death sat close, his broad back pressed into the side of the bed, and reached for his scythe.

“Rest as long as you need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Death?…”

“Yes?”

“Could you…read me aloud for a while, maybe? I really like listening to your voice, you know…” Your own was hoarse, girly and helpless. Pathetic. It’s hard to sound like a sultry vixen when your nose is full. But your Horseman didn’t seem to care.

His siblings went back home some time later and were taken aback by this unusual sight. You lying flat, transformed into an ailing burrito - and the Reaper on the floor with a small, old, worn-out book in his hand. His deep, raspy timbre sounded loud and clear, weaving the tale.

“One morning - it was the morning that Moomintroll’s pappa finished building a bridge over the river - the little animal Sniff made a discovery. (There were still plenty of things left to discover for them in the valley. he was wondering in the forest when he suddenly noticed a path he had never seen before winding mysteriously into the green shadows. Sniff was spellbound and stood gazing at it for several minutes. It’s funny about paths and rivers, he mused. You see them go by, and suddenly you feel upset and want to be somewhere else - wherever the path or the river is going, perhaps.”

War was the first to put a finger on his lips and stalk closer, but his siblings followed suit. They all sat around, enthralled by the voice.

[bobasheebaby]

Charred Memories- Consequences of a Fling Chapter 3

Pairing: Liam x Veronica x Drake

Word count: 1,768

Warnings: angst

Summary: Veronica deals with the aftermath of telling both men.

A/N: I was talking to @imma-winchester-addict about TRR book 3 chapter 16 and the what could happen because of the fling and this was born. @mrsnazario1223 was my beta as always.

If you want to be tagged let me know.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters I’m just borrowing them from PB for a bit.

Veronica had been surprised by the hope in Drake’s face and voice when she told him she might be carrying his child instead of the next heir to Cordonia. His question had taken her by surprise, ‘what does this mean for us?’, what really caught her off guard was her response ‘I don’t know.’ Was it really all that shocking? Hadn’t she been worried about telling him for that exact reason? Hadn’t she been questioning her feelings before she even went to him?

She worried how Liam would react when he found out that Drake held out hope that they could be something. Drake’s hope would only deepen the betrayal, cut Liam deeper. She hoped she could keep her conflicted feelings from her husband, but she knew she needed to finally start being completely honest with him, even if it meant driving the spike further into his heart. She needed to be truthful with him about her feelings, about everything—for once in her relationship with him. Her lies had hurt him enough, she needed to take a chance with the truth. But she knew that with their broken trust, the still crumbling walls that once held up their life, their love, would make him doubt anything she said.

Veronica feared she could never make things right again, get back to where they were. Did she even want to? How could she do something that could condemn their future with such little care or thought? Did she really think anyone would come out of this unscathed? Did she really think that Liam would never find out about Drake? Why did she have to lie? Why couldn’t she just be the committed suitor, mistress, and fiancé he deserved.

Mistress—that word still felt like a someone was slicing her abdomen with a broadsword and her guts were spilling to the floor. No other word ever cut her deeper than the one that labeled her as his whore. Maybe if she had been his in every aspect, the one draped on his arm, things would never had happened with Drake. That wasn’t fair—putting her infidelity on him, if she had loved him—truly loved him shouldn’t she have been able to happy with even just a piece of him? No! She needed him all, needed to be able to shout their love from the rooftops, start a family with him.

Veronica’s hand came to rest on her stomach, here she was supposed to be getting everything she, they, had ever wanted and she’d gone and ruined it. She wanted nothing more than to have a family with him, and now she made the love and joy slip away faster than a balloon shooting across the room as it released its air. She dashed his hopes and dreams in an instant, made him wander the halls of their broken dreams in the dark mourning what could have been.

She wanted nothing more than to be with Liam the way they had been before she blew up their life. Is he what I want? Doubts kept creeping in her mind, never leaving her alone for even a second. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of battered dreams. Would she ever be able to pull her head above the turbulent water? Could she ever get to a place where she was happy again? What would her future even look like? Would it be stuck in a palace with shattered remnants of a promised future littering the floor? Could their marriage, their love make it through? Did she want it to? How did she tell her husband that the demise of their relationship left his best friend feeling hopeful?

Living with Liam became walking along the walls to avoid the shards of broken glass of what could have been. Hurt looks and furtive stares had become normal. Their relationship was but a hollow shell and they were ghosts stuck wandering the world of what could have been.

A puffy red face streaked by tears had become her new normal. Liam became more stoic and threw himself into ruling his country, living parallel lives instead of one life together. Her words had left him battered and bruised, unrecognizable even to himself. She understood she had caused him the worst pain imaginable, but they couldn’t go on ignoring each other forever, they need to talk—to try to move on, either together or apart.

Veronica sat up in their bed, waiting for Liam to return. She knew he was still sleeping in their shared bed because his side would always be wrinkled in the morning when she’d get up. Even if he was avoiding seeing her she took a small comfort in the fact that they still shared a bed, even if it wasn’t like before—before she cut his heart out with a butter knife.

Liam walked in, loosening his tie, he looked generally surprised to see her still awake, he had hoped that he had wasted enough time that she would be asleep.

Liam, we need to talk.” She stated calmly, even though her body trembled with raw emotion and fear.

“What more could there possibly be to say?” Liam asked, he looked exhausted, dark circles under his now dull blue eyes.

“I spoke to Drake.” She replied, picking at invisible fibers on the sheet.

“Oh? I guess I should congratulate him on his possible impending fatherhood with MY wife.” Liam responded, his cold hard voice dripping with disdain.

“Liam—” she started.

“What Veronica? I don’t have a right to be upset? He took the only woman I’ve ever loved and tore her from my arms! He ruined my happiness! I’ve been trying to figure a way out of this mess the two of you created!” He shouted, his voice reverberating against the walls.

“A—a way out? How?” She asked her voice cracking from emotion. Her body stiffened as she waited to hear him say he was working on a way to annul their marriage—divorce her.

“I don’t even know.” He replied, his voice strained and tired and he rubbed his hand down his face. He slumped on the bed, his shoulders hunched forward, her husband was broken and she was the one who broke him.

Unshed tears stung at her eyes, unsure of what to say or do, terrified she’d only make it worse.

“Did you ever love me?” He asked, his voice breaking with emotion.

She felt her heart shatter into a million pieces, “Liam, of course I loved you, I still love you.” She replied tears streaming down her face.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” He asked, choking out the words as tears pooled in his once vibrant blue eyes.

She didn’t know how to answer, the truth was she didn’t know why she slept with Drake, why she let him into her heart, why she had to have one more passion filled fling with him. She had been happy with Liam, hadn’t she? So why wasn’t he enough? Why did she make such reckless choices that left her relationship in a pile of rubble next to a mountain of charred memories?

Her silence told him everything he needed to know, he pulled himself to his feet, walking towards the door with large strides and renewed purpose.

“Where are you going?” She asked, throwing back the covers, jumping out of bed chasing him.

He spun on his heel, a burning rage alight in his blue eyes, “where do you think?!” He shouted, the anger in his voice making Veronica jump in shock.

Her eyes wide with fear of what Liam might do once he found Drake, “Liam you can’t!” She exclaimed grabbing his arm, trying to keep him from leaving.

“Why the hell can’t I? He didn’t think about me and my feelings when he went after the woman I love!” Liam shouted, wrenching his arm away from her grasp.

He yanked open the door and started towards Drake’s room at a furious pace, Veronica had to run to keep up with his long strides.

Arriving at Drake’s room, Liam pounded on the door, the second Drake wrenched open the door, Liam drew his fist back, striking Drake hard in the jaw.

Drake stumbled back in surprise, hand coming up to rub his jaw, “what the hell Liam?” He roared.

“I could say the same to you.” Liam replied, his voice full of a furious rage as he shook out his hand.

Veronica stopped, having just showed up, she glanced between both men, Drake clutching his jaw, Liam shaking out his hand. She grabbed Liam’s hand, looking at it, “are you okay?” She asked looking up him, eyes full of love and concern as she met his gaze.

Liam’s eyes softened when he saw the love and concern on his wife’s face directed at him.

“Hey, what about me? I’m the one who got hit!” Drake asked.

“You deserved it!” Liam replied, not tearing his eyes off of his wife who was carefully inspecting his hand.

“We should get some ice on this.” Veronica said to Liam leading him back towards their suite.

Drake slammed the door shut at their retreating figures, his heart clenching in pain from her display of love and affection towards Liam. He’s her husband, of course he’s the one she’s worried about!

Back in their suite, Liam sat on the edge of the bed while Veronica made herself busy getting ice for his hand. She held his hand loosely, gently pressing the ice on the back of his hand, Liam hissed at the contact.

He watched as his wife tended to his hand with such a tender loving touch, “you were worried about me.” He said.

She looked up at him in surprise, “of course I was, I love you.” She replied, the truth behind her words easily read in her eyes.

She does still love me! But why-? “But then—” he started.

“I made a mistake Liam. A lot of them really, I don’t know what’s going to happen with us, I know I lost your trust, but I do know I have always loved you, and always will.” She said cutting him off.

Having seen Liam so upset, so worked up over her that he’d punched his own friend she finally saw things clearly, she made a mistake. She always knew that, but she knew for sure that no matter what she was going to fight for her husband, her marriage, and try her best to forget about Drake.

Consequences of a Fling Masterlist

Masterlist

Tags: @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @speedyoperarascalparty @hhiggs @imafictosexual @bella-ca @museofbooks @indiacater @hdcathcart @mrsdrakewalkerblog

[ihaveanimagine]

Skeletons of choice reacting to sensing a new soul (or two) growing inside their s/o?

(Imma do Mafiafell andSwapfell)

Mafiafell!Sans (Cappo)

You both were laying out on the sofa, Cappo had his arms around your waist andhis head on your chest as you watched reruns of your favorite movies. Cappoalways loved hearing your heart beat, it was always so rhythmic and relaxing.And it was near your soul too it sort of meant that he could hear your soulwhen he listened to your heartbeat. But on this particular night, somethingfelt…..off.Whenever your heart beat, there was a tiny little echo. At first, he thoughtnothing of it and simply thought he was hearing thing, but a few weeks laterduring another movie night date, the echo was there again and it was stronger.Almost like a second heartbeat that was completely in synch with your own. Ittook him a moment to register what that tiny little echo meant but as soon asit did his head jumped up from your chest and he looked at you with wide eyesand shouted “SECOND HEARTBEAT!!!”Obviously being confused with your husband’s shenangians you threw him acurious look to ask him what he meant and he just kept pointing frantically toyour chest and shouted “Second soul! You have a second soul!!”“Thanks, babe, I know you really think I’m a soulfull person but-”“Baby, I love you too, but that’s nOT WHAT I MEAN!!”Sure enough, a few weeks later you began experiencing pregnancy symptoms andCappo could only hold your hair back as you experienced morning sickness, grinsmugly and say “I told ya so” as you glared at him in between emptying your stomach.He then proceeds to be the best papa the child could ever ask for.

Mafiafell!Papyrus (Don)

Don had been pampering you for the past week and neither of you could figureout why. There wasn’t anything special coming up and Don wasn’t prone to long periodsof spoiling his wonderful spouse. Nor were you used to getting this muchattention in one go from your beloved husband, but you weren’t complaining inthe least.

It wasn’t until you and Don had been slow dancing in the kitchen as an at-homedate that he realized why he was being extra clingy and felt the need to pamperyou so much.They say that when two lovers are extremely close, their souls intertwine andmix, creating a small bond between them. And it was this very bond that toldDon one of the most wonderful news in his life.During the slow dance, you had your head resting on his chest, hands in eachother’s, bodies pressed against each other and Don had one hand around yourback while the other rested on your head.As the dance went on, the soul bond opened a little at how intimate the two ofyou were feeling and allowed Don a small peak into his lover’s soul. Thefamiliar sense of you filled him and greeted him with the same kindness andlove you showed him everyday. What he wasn’t expecting was two little echoes ofthat to come across in the bond.The mafia boss nearly tripped over himself in shock. Two little souls werethere. He had sensed them. A large, dopey grin broke out on his face and happytears nearly spilled down his cheeks.You had no idea at the time, but the fact that those souls were there stillmeant the world to Don. And later, when you did confirm you were pregnant, Donswooped you up in his arms and wouldn’t stop grinning for the rest of themonth.If you thought you were pampered before, then you have a lot to learn about howfar this skeleton is willing to go to pamper you for 9 months.

Swapfell!Sans (Razz)

Razz was normally one for being pristine and regal, but in this exact moment,all that had been thrown out the window. “YOU HAVE A TINY SOUL!!” Heshouted in surprise, pointing at your chest.You let out a small yawn as you sat up a little in bed. “Huh?” Youasked, not fully awake yet. Razz pointed at your chest where his head had been“There’s a tiny soul in there!“ You sighed and sleepily rolled your eyes “Baby, it’s like 3 in themorning, save the playful insulting for when we’re awake, okay?” Yourhusband let out a frustrated whine when you misunderstood his meaning.What he meant was there was a tiny soul next to yours! He sensed it in themiddle of his sleep when he had a vivid dream about hearing and feeling twoseparate pulses in your chest. When he woke up, the first thing he did was tocheck your soul for any anomalies and BOOM! There had been a little baby soul floating next to yours. Razz would’ve cried with joy if he hadn’t been so shocked at that early in themorning and all he could think or dream about for the rest of that night washim being able to be a father.

Swapfell!Papyrus (Mutt)

Mutt discovered the second soul when he was showering you in his affections.You were securely trapped in his arms and Mutt was pressing kisses all overyour face, grinning madly at your squeals and giggles.Mutt had dragged you into his lap and your chests were pressed against eachother, allowing him to faintly feel the hum of your soul. It was a lot harder tosense since your soul was covered by a flesh bag, but he always found away tofeel it.He loved the way he felt your soul flutter in sync with your heart and italways calmed him to feel its thrum against his ribcage. It always felt so warmand safe and made him feel loved.But at this particular moment, something felt off with your soul. Like it wasno longer synced up with your heart. He panicked for a moment and curled aroundyou, pretending to cuddle you more to reach your soul easier.You simply leaned into his touch, thinking nothing of it as Mutt triedlistening to your soul. What he found made Mutt start crying out of happinessand hugged you tightly. There was a smaller pulse of magic that was beatingwith your soul!!!You thought Mutt was suddenly sad but when you got a good look at his face. Youonly saw the immense joy on Mutt’s face as he grinned widely and peppered yourface in kisses and thank yous.He didn’t tell you what he had discovered but simply buried his face in yourneck and cried happy tears and wouldn’t let go of you for the rest of theday. 

[bleusarcellewrites]

Thinking 'Bout You

Guess who gota chance to write a collab with one of her fave WRITERS

@queerklancing THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS FIC SO MUCH FUN, IT WAS AMAZING AND WE MADE SMITTEN BOYS FALL DEEPER IN LOVE <3

Soulmate AU with smitten boys, get ready all!! <3

Enjoy! 

Keith wakes up to singing.

His mind can’t really wrap itself around the fact, still heavy with sleep, and it only makes him more annoyed when the singing grows louder. It’s probably around the fifth verse when he finally snaps.

‘Ugh, you’ve got to be kidding me,’ he thinks, face still pressed against his pillow in a weak attempt to block the singing echoing around him, ‘Imma murder someone, I swear.’

The singing stops abruptly, making him wince at the sudden sharp tug it took inside his mind at the action.

Silence is back around his light dimmed room and Keith honestly couldn’t care less about the weird experience. Weirder things have happened before in life than annoying singing stopping out of nowhere, honestly.

Keith’s just glad it’s gone, and he’s able to go back to sleep –

‘Um, hello?’

Keith pauses, his limbs tensing and his breath hitching when a sudden unfamiliar voice makes itself present. He takes two seconds before he leaps out of bed, the knife he keeps under his pillow held up high in front of him in defense.

He stands tall and firm, trying to look intimidating and dangerous even though he’s missing a sock and his boxers are hanging a little too low around his hips.

Wide dark blue eyes narrow themselves as they search every corner of his room for any kind of intruder. His room is not that big, barely able to hold a bed, a dresser and a small desk next to the window, basically bare and transparent.

Keith lowers his knife slowly, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when nothing looks out of the ordinary.

“Fair enough, that was weird,” Keith hums out loud, easing his shoulders and relaxing his stand as he takes one last look around him and drops his knife on his bed.

‘Maybe I’m going crazy.’

A shiver runs down his spine when the voice appears once again, but this time, Keith can easily pinpoint the place it's coming from, or more like, where it shouldn’t come from.

He takes a pause, hands up in the air as if he was trying to calm himself down, before he takes a deep breath.

‘That was not my thought,’ he thinks, panic and confusion filling his chest, ‘That was not my thought, what the fu –‘

‘Dude,’ the unfamiliar voice cuts him off sharply, but Keith can hear the edge of fear lingering on its tone, ‘Dude, what the fuck –‘

‘No, no, you what the fuck.’ Keith thinks angrily, scowling as his eyes go up, as if he could meet the stranger’s face in the ceiling.

‘Me? You what the fuck.’ The voice replies, panic and fear still on the back but being covered by annoyance, ‘Get out.’

‘It’s my head, you get out.’

‘No, it’s mine.’

Keith purses his lips and pokes his temple and then his cheek, nodding once he confirms what he was looking for.

‘No, pretty sure it’s my body, my mind, and you’re a weird thing invading it.’

‘Maybe I’m your conscious?’

‘What the fuck is a conscious? Did you mean ‘conscience’ ?’

‘No, no. Conscious.’

‘Well, then, whatever. Fuck off, Conscious.’

‘Are you my conscious?’

‘You just said that you were mine?’

‘But I know I’m me, how can I be your conscious?’

‘I don’t kno– Get out.’

‘How the fuck –‘

“Hey, Keith, you awake?”

The extra voice puts Keith in alert. He dives for his knife, pointing it high to the person behind him only to meet his brother’s arched eyebrow.

“I thought you had grown over your necessity of sleeping with your knife.” Shiro deadpans before frowning in confusion when he notices the tense shoulders and worried frown in his brother’s features. “Uh...you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Keith replies quickly.

Shiro only spares him another concern glance before he shrugs. “If you say so, bro. Get ready, though, because we leave in ten and the pancakes I made may disappear by that time.”

“Oh, God, let’s hope so,” Keith mutters quietly, throwing his knife back to his bed and ignoring the way Shiro flips him off with a mocking glare.

The door closes behind his brother and Keith waits exactly three seconds before he comes to a decision.

‘Hello? Weird voice in my head?’ He thinks, trying to be careful on how to form his words, ‘Alo? No? Nothing?’

Five seconds pass, maybe ten just to be sure, and it’s then when Keith sighs, relief dripping from his shoulders like water.

‘This never happened,’ he tells himself inside his head.

He ignores the uneasy feeling inside of him when he can’t even convince himself.

Lance takes a long sip from his iced coffee as he watches the crowd pass by.

He’s taking a well-deserved break after a long day of shopping at the mall. Hunk was supposed to accompany him, but canceled last minute because he had to fill in at his part-time job.

Lance sighs. It’s been a few days since the weird encounter he had under the shower. At first, he played it off as a hallucination, or blamed it on his tiredness. But then Lance had a thought. What if ... that was his soulmate link.

He knows almost everything there is to know about soulmates. Lance has been obsessed with it ever since he was a child. But there are so many different kind of soul links that it’s hard to get a grasp of all the possibilities. There’s the classic red string of fate that connects people. That’s how his mom and dad met. There are some soulmates who can share whatever they paint on their skin; some share their injuries, others see some kind of trail in the air leading them to their soulmate.

Some of these are obvious others are more… unique. Like that one woman who had the same song stuck in her head for years until she met her soulmate who heard the same song. And then there are these unfortunate souls who don’t have a soulmate.

Lance is one of them.

At least that’s what he thought until now. Ever since he heard that voice in his head, he had the tiny spark of hope that maybe … maybe there is someone out there for him after all.

Lance sighs as he puckers his lips to take another sip from his straw. Well, he didn’t hear the voice again so maybe it was just his imagination.

‘Shit, he’s hot.’

Lance chokes and sputters as he spits out his coffee. “What the fuck?!” he wheezes and rubs his mouth with his sleeve. The girls on the table next to him raise their eyebrows in question and giggle when he smiles awkwardly.

Okay, alright, okay. That was definitely in his head.

‘Test. Test. Hello?’ he thinks, trying not to feel stupid.

‘What the shit?!’

Lance probably shouldn’t be so thrilled to hear a stranger’s voice in his head, but his heart jumps nervously in his chest.

‘That’s what I wanted to say as well.’

‘Oh nonononono, this is not happening again!’

‘Um. Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but it is.’

‘Who are you? How do you do that?!’

Lance leans back and frowns.

‘Wait hold up, I’m not the one doing this!’

‘Well neither am I!’

‘So we both don’t have a clue what’s going on,’ Lance concludes and crosses his arms. It should be weird to talk to someone in his head, but he’s getting the hang of this pretty quickly. Maybe it is his soulmate after all.

‘This is so fucked up,’ the voice groans and Lance can hear the distress radiating from him. Well, it seems like the guy on the other hand isn’t as excited as Lance about this.

‘I’m Lance.’

‘Huh?’

‘My name is Lance.’

‘Why are you telling me this?!’

‘I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d feel better if the voice in your head wasn’t a complete stranger.’

There’s silence in his head. Lance unfolds his arms and panic bubbles in his chest when he doesn’t get an answer. He’s about to voice his concerns when his thoughts get interrupted.

‘I’m Keith.’

A relieved smile spreads on Lance’s lips, and he can’t help the chuckle leaving him.

‘Well, hello Keith. Nice to meet you.’

‘Yeah,’ the stranger - Keith - scoffs.

Lance snorts and grimaces when the girls at the table next to him send him another funny look.

‘So,’ he starts. ‘Who is hot?’

‘Huh?’

‘You thought about someone - a guy - being hot earlier,’ Lance adds, and he hides the grin behind his hands as he leans forward.

‘Fuck,’ Keith curses. ‘There goes my privacy.’

READ THE REST IN AO3

[in-paradox-space]

when I'm high I'm able to realize nothing matters so I shouldn't worry about it. Shit doesn't always have to be bad, I can find happiness. 

its been a long week and i have thoughts to purge.

When I'm not high I think about how everything is meaningless. We're tirelessly destroying the planet (probably) to keep our lives and expansion going but none of it matters. I am sad, empty and can't find reasons to be happy.

 I think about a girl who I've only met twice in my life. She's not my type... If I even have a type. It hurts how much I want to be with her. I've stopped trying to make sense of it. I'm trying to ignore my feelings. Hoping one day the pain will stop. I'd go through so much pain if I knew I was guaranteed time with her at the end of it though. I spoke about her in September...

 During my huge one week MDMA comedown which made me want to quit everything for good. It took a few weeks but I got over her. She was on my mind every second though. I couldn't make sense of it as I only met her once. I put it down to being very low after taking so much drugs and the fact that I literally never hang out with girls.

 I put it down to that this time as well. 3 or 4 months later I got to meet her again. Last week, I went into town with two other friends. We met up with her there. I did coke for the first time that night too. Friday, December 15 2017 and the early hours the next day. I did coke. I almost got off with a 35 year old woman but my friends were there to stop me. We went to the girls house that night too. I sort of cuddled her while she slept but I was wide awake.

 It was awkward but I was taking in the moment. The other two friends were in the same bed too. It was awkward. They was telling me to cuddle her. I would've never made that move myself. It felt like an arranged marraige. It was awkward because I knew she probably didn’t want me there but she kept saying its alright I can hold her. 

 In the end I just sat by myself, on my phone, wide awake, almost the last of my cough syrup, cocaine and too much booze slurring my mind left to right, while the others slept. We left at 10amish, went back to my friends house.

 Last night. Two days ago. Wednesday. The girl and those two friends went into town again, but I was at my dads place so I didn't come along. Real shit if I knew she was there I might have just got a train that day. Maybe it was best I didn't. So my good bro, uhhhhh they all did MD, not a lot but they blacked out because they was drinking.

I need to stop going into so much detail here. I just feel like I'll read back on these in a few years and I don't want to forget. Why does it matter though?

Well, the girl I like said that my bro was making moves on her and probably fucked her that night. His gf was there too. Nobody remembers so nobody is really viable here.

(switching from mobile to PC typing here)

The girl seems to remember¿

well I think my friend and his gf are probably gonna break up for good. My friends pretty unstable right now.

I was planning on spending a nice night with a different friend, who would never get himself into this kind of mess, he's having a lot of people round and I wanted to be there.

I'm probably gonna be in a hospital waiting room with my friend the whole night though. Being alone right now can't be good for him. Being alone is painful for me right now. I used to like it.

so how do i feel about this?

a little imbalanced. a lot of different feelings.

I slept a full day after the coce. 

I came down hard. My liver has been having some problems so I’m stopping drinking for good. 

Had a funeral on the Monday. My grandmothers.

It’s sad to see her go. 

It was a hopeful funeral though. A lot of tears but she knew how to turn a bad thing into a good thing. There was that feeling there. Surrounded by good family with good intentions and bad pasts.

Went to my fathers, on the other side of the country, later that day. 

I’ve been so depressed there. In that wintery void. 

I’ve been getting fevers and illnesses, likely from my liver. Nausea, fatigue, headaches, loss of appetite, unfortunately no weight loss (typical). 

I had way too much of being isolated and alone on wednesday.

I came back yesterday. Was so depressed in the morning but I saw my friends. Had two joints with my bro which I mentioned before. I very rarely smoke weed. It was cool. I felt great.

Then the drama unfolded. My friend and his gf started arguing like fucking crazy. I was sat there for two hours extremely stoned and panicked by the screaming. I wanted to leave. His gf was telling me not to. Partly out of an awkward politeness, partly because she didn’t want my bro to be alone after the breakup because he’s usually unstable after they argue.

I left, went home, there was no electricity. Had to wait until today until I got more. Just slept in the dark.

I’ve been doing nofap for the past 3 weeks. Dying of liver failure (exaggeration) has made it easier because I really don’t have much libido. 

I keep having wet dreams though. It’s common when you don’t fap, you just kinda let loose in your dreams. 

They’re really inconvenient though because I have to change my underwear and shower. 

I usually wear the same underwear for 3 days until I shower. 

I wash my clothes like once every 2 weeks. 

I had to wear an old pair of underwear last night. 

A lot of people do but nobody ever really talks about it. 

Now. Friday.

A lot went down in the past week. 

 I’ve been thinking about that girl every minute of the past week. Really fucking sad because I don’t have her. 

There’s nothing going on in my life really. 

I’m not making it out like that isn’t my fault for not actively making sure I have something to occupy me. That’s just how it is.

I’m gonna find work next year so I’m occupying myself with something, getting outside. This sad, empty loneliness is too much. 

The fact that being around one girl for one night makes me think of her for the weeks ahead is just an eyeopener

I really need to get out more

I need to interact with more people 

obviously I don’t really feel for that girl and no other girl

its just the fact that I was with her that night, along with the fact my serotonin is low and looking for a pick me up after the drugs and I have no other females on my mind to turn to

i have female friends yes but not IRL, I don’t really get feelings for them

So

I’m sick of the sadness. 

I want to stop drugs. I have stopped codeine. I really have. I have no way to get more codeine other than CWE cocodomol pills which can be laborious to supply. 

I haven’t touched it in weeks, other than 3 days where I kept overdosing just to feel high, the 3 days before the 15th.

I stopped for a week before then, went through the physical withdrawal. 

I gave all the pills to my friend. They’re too expensive to just flush and I want to take them to America because people there appreciate it for more than just a painkiller.

This lifestyle.

It’s harming me in so many ways.

I want to find real sources of happiness. Not short  term fixes. 

I want to find my rat park. 

During the sadness and isolation from friends (my dads place) I just wanted to be high

I just 

I was so sad

I rarely smoke weed but I smoked it yesterday

because I wanted to remember what it was like when the sadness didn’t hurt or disconnect you.

It doesn’t hurt as much today as I’m not as under-stimulated.

I want to repair my liver. I’ve always had liver problems but I didn’t realize how seriously it was getting until recently.

The heavy drinking and daily codeine overdoses (300mg-520mg at a time) have been killing it off. I’ve been high on painkillers every day so I didn’t notice the liver pains.

I hope it’s not permanent. I’m getting symptoms of liver damage still but the liver pains have stopped.

and yeah

its hard but I’m stopping drugs

If i continue, I will come to a point when it isn’t a choice and it will be even harder 

I’m planning to save up and do a big fucking sesh in january or february then not do drugs again except for maybe the occasional xtc every few months, or acid if i ever get the chance

i was going to invite the guys i went with on friday but they’ve all fallen out (probably) because of the drama

Februaryish, imma invite the girl out on the weekend

hopefully shes still single

we’ll get high if she even says yes, idk if she will. she has reasons to and reasons not to.

I’ll just tell her, I think shes awesome and I want to see her more.

She was never mine anyway. If this scares her away, so be it. I got over her last time, I’ll do it this time and I’ll do it again. 

I have nothing to lose.

I think she just wants meaningless sex and drunken nights though. 

I thought I wanted that but I don’t.

All I care about is being happy with friends. 

Talking about random shit, often shitfaced, all night.

Whenever I get a chance with girls, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of it.

I don’t want to fuck girls. I am attracted to them but idk

i would rather just spend time with them

will I be like this forever

I know it isnt normal 

I do sometimes make out with people I don’t know. guys or girls

but if I get to know them at all it throws me off

Like, they’re not anonymous, there’s a name to the face now, they know who I am.

I feel like there’s a witness to it, even if it’s only them

and I mainly associate shame, not pleasure, with sex.

Then there’s a witness to validate the shame.

I like this girl.

I had chances to make moves. I didn’t want to. 

It’s like, if I do then it’s final. It’s a one night fling and nothing more. I also may have scared her away. I’m so ugly recently and I doubt she would’ve been into me then.

I was so happy just talking with her, fuckfaced, about everything. 

It felt like I had a new IRL friend. I just want to talk with her

I wanted to be able to see her again. 

If I did anything, even a kiss, with her that night then I’d feel ashamed whenever I thought about it. 

Then the memory of her would be tainted. 

she was high though

I doubt shes interested in me at all

but fuck it

after I’m over her, I can look at her objectively again

she’s just another regular young girl/woman

which isnt a bad thing

but it means I can look at her clearly, without all these feelings clouding my vision.

then every weekend

I’ll make plans with people, just so I can invite her out too

‘hey im gonna be in town with some friends this weekend, do u wanna come along we need more people’

sure, it’ll be weird

but the offer of free cocaine must take her fancy one night

and thats it

I’ll act like the world is ending 

we’ll have a good time

and I’ll talk about what’s been eating me up for over half a year

Sure, I might get rejected but it must be easier than just carrying on, knowing she will go her separate way when it could have been. 

I need closure. I don’t even think she’s the one or see a future with her, although that’d be great too. 

I just want to go out with her for a few weeks, maybe half a year or so. then we both lose interest in each other, she dumps me

BUT I’LL HAVE CLOSURE THEN. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE. MY FEELINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN PURGED. I USED TO BE HEARTLESS; IMMUNE TO THESE FEELINGS! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

I’m not gonna say ooo i love you, or anything

I’m not gonna ask her out

I’ll just say I really fucking like her, I think she’s great and I’d love to be able to see you often.

something like that

she can say whatever she thinks

probably that its weird i invited her out after all the drama that happened with my friends yesterday(current tense, as im typing this)

At least I will know then. 

Man, I hope she doesn’t have someone by then but I won’t be surprised if she does. 

so today

christmas is a good time isn’t it?

for me its lonely.

everything stops.

winter is already sad enough.

 everyone wants to be with family, but the only day ill be with family is christmas day itself

im glad i get to be with my friends today, that was a nice surprise,

although i might have to leave to be with josh so that he doesnt hurt himself. 

oops. mentioned his name, his anonymity has been erased. voila. 

ive been typing my thoughts her for like an hour

a lot of shit I forgot to mention

but yeah

i need to do a lot of shit which ive been putting off

shower, wash my clothes, pay for electricity, go to my friends. im currently on emergency credit and i only remembered that was a thing an hour ago. after i slept in the dark. 

I feel sad that I’ll probably not be with her, but in time that will pass.

I feel sad because winter is coming, i have nothing to occupy my time.

this will all pass in time, it hurts now, but I will feel happy again soon enough.

hang in there

[pirate-kid2k19-blog]

Dumb thoughts and images that come to mind when i try to sleep after a near overdose on caffiene

Putting that in bc its a big mood right now

My brain @ sleep

Yall theres motorcycles oyu at 5:25am i-

I wish my friends were up and that it was like 3pm and i slept but that sounds like a dream world-

Smoke or Fire's song called 1968 both intensifies my existential crisis and helps it feel better at the same time.

If history doesnt repeat itself, why do we have blonde ass toupe wearin hitler as the us president??

"Im in a position thats so uncomfortable its comfortable." - some random dude on youtube like 3 years ago

Im not saying its impossible for an insomniac to fall asleep after 5am, im just saying its impossible for me to do so.

If ive got nothing to do today im gonna listen to music, draw, and nap all day. Those make me happy.

I say that last sentence knowing full well imma be up at 3am runnin to the medicine cabinet to down a bottle of melatonin.

Seriously though im either gonna draw, listen to music, or hopefully ill be able to nap but idk. If i cant nap i'll likely just be talkin to my like,,, 3 friends i think it is that i have left.

So here's my outfit plan if i have to go anywhere:

Hollywood undead shirt (desperate measures or V whichever i find) or my reel big fish shirt and a hawaiian shirt over it

Black or baggy camo jeans (cutoff jean shorts if its hot enough)

Whatever shoes i can find to slip on prolly my slide on vans

My camo hat that i almost always wear lol or my dogtooth print old man hat that works with a rude boy outfit well even tho i originally got it because some sweet old lady at the thrift store reccommended it to me because she thought id like it (shes not gonna see this but i did like it i did buy it and i do wear it)

Energy drink can lmao

Who needs a backpack or anything like that when my eyebags can hold all my shit :)

Black or checkered belt

So like,,,, its 5:38am and im still wide awake lol

I'll be fine tho guys normally i pull an all nighter friday night or am up super late, am up all day saturday til like 1-3am then i go to sleep and sleep for like 12-15 hours on sunday, and have a normal sleep schedule (i count it as normal because i still get enough sleep) monday-thursday. I guess im a normal person because like,,,im so like,,,chill during the week then i have like a crazy fuckin weekend that leaves me sleeping all day sunday. Either this is normal fr or normal on tumblr. Idk.

I wanna watch a candle flame buuut im not gonna get up bc i think my granddad is awake and he'll hear me walking around and come tell me to sleep. Though, i do tell him if its past 6am that i woke up at 6, had to use the bathroom, and couldnt go back to sleep after, but its only 5:43. Time to watch candleflame gifs lol

I love that one because it doesnt have any sort of like eerie vibe its literally just 2 lit candles and i love it.

So heres 5 of my current favorite reaction images rn plus a bonus cursed image:

Btw this post will go on til my clock hits 6:00am lol msybe before maybe after hut around that time.

Time check:5:47am, my left arm is asleep like the rest of me zhould be but i kinda layed on it for like a solid 2 hours and 48 minutes.

I wonder what long stiletto acrylic nails would look like on toes. Will google it now but if nothing pops up im photoshopping it when i get my phone bc that would be super cursed

High thoughts but the high is sleep deprivation will be the theme of my next blog.

Yo what if it was normal to put acrylic nails on ur toes instead of ur fingers

If we're in a simulation, we wont know until the world ends and we all get minecraft hard mode game over screens.

What if ehen you got ran over irl the last thing you see is your vision goes black and white and red text appears. "Wasted."

I might convert my most unused blog into a blog for sleep deprived and shower thoughts, seeing as literally almost wvery day i put my phone in a ziploc bag snd take it into the shower

I kinda feel calm now. Like...if i felt this calm 2 hours ago i wouldve been dead asleep lmao.

My right finger hurts from how i gotta hold this tablet lmao.

Me: i kinda wanna like,,,just kinda draw but idk what to draw and ive had art block for a few months now...*talks about art block*

My mom, interrupting me: ITS BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS ON THAT DAMN PHONE

[actually-impostor]

Heroes and Anti-Heroes

Does someone remember this fanfic i wonder...? Anyway, here’s the next chapter of heroes and anti-heroes because i took like a month to update. Sorry

Warnings for this chapter: Patt and Lo have a talk about what it means to be a hero, there’s a horrible written battle scene

Prologue, Chap 1, Chap 2, Chap 3, Chap 4, Chap 5[part1], Chap 5[part 2] (You are here!)

AO3 [in AO3 the name has been fixed for all the chapters]

-0-0-0- Chapter 5: Cavalry, Chivalry. Tomato, Solanum Lycopersicum [part 2]-0-0-0-

Roman took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. He repeated the process a number of times and opened his eyes.

In front of him, standing tall and full of grace, was the heroin Monarch or as Roman preferred to call her, Mamá.

“Ay hijo, you are so big now”

“Mamá this is embarrassing”

“Hush Roman, I want you to listen to me” Roman nodded and Valerie smiled “You are the son of a pro hero, but more than that, you are you. Do your best, have fun, and do whatever is needed for your own future. And no matter what, always remember that I’m so proud of you hijo”

Roman could feel tears gathering up in his eyes and a knot on his throat

“I love you Mamá”

“And I love you my little prince, now go out there and kick everyone’s ass!”

Roman laughed and nodded, hugging his mom as tight as he could. He allowed her heartbeat to calm him down and took a deep breath. It was time to fight.

-0-

“Can I really enter the hero course dad?”

“Of course! You are strong and talented, and there’s no one who can say otherwise”

Patton nodded, allowing Thomas to pet his hair. Maybe his quirk wasn’t one made for Hero Work but he could do this

-0-

“Our first test is about to start”

The voice of the announcer resounded through the place making the students nervous and excited. Logan stared at all of it with a calm and collected façade while besides him Roman was tugging at the necklace usually hidden underneath his clothes. He could feel the nerves and tension radiating out of the sword user and it was starting to get to him.

“Roman, breath”

With that Roman stared at the bespectacled boy besides him. He took a deep breath and nodded

“Sorry, it’s just… a little scary”

“Well, don’t mind it too much. After all most of the pros here are interested in the third years, we are only here to show the world that we have talent”

Roman chuckled a little and nodded

“Do you always rationalize your fears?”

“You’ve known me for half a year, you tell me”

Both boys smirked a little, their friendship was weird. They were friends; just… there was a layer of rivalry there that neither boy was sure how to approach.

“Hey Roman”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure no one tries to attack my boy while I use my Quirk”

“I’ll try?”

Logan nodded; it was a good enough answer.

Not long before that the gladiator doors in front of them opened and they came spilling out. Logan let his eyes roam over all the others kids in first year. There was the General Education group, but there was also the Medical batch, and the ones from Administration, besides the rest of the people from the Hero Course B and C.

Roman was making sword after sword, none of which had actual edge since killing wasn’t allowed. They could hurt people, but they had to dial back their Quirks to not hurt them enough. Logan sometimes pulled one of the swords that Roman created and before he could use them, Logan used them to attack someone

“Ask first!”

“Sorry”

They could see Virgil grabbing people with Shadow and throwing them to the floor, leaving them dazed and slightly scared, while Patton was flipping people left and right with a smile on his face.

There was someone flying at them in high velocity and Logan snickered when Virgil just made a half shield out of Shadow, making the girl slam against it and groan on the floor, but when he returned his attention to the general fight he noticed there was another person opening their mouth, Logan frowned, did that kid had bat ears?

“Shit, Roman cover your ears!”

A high pitched screech came out of the person’s mouth, stunning a high number of the opponents and making Logan groan in annoyance

“Roman I leave my body on your care!”

Logan focused all his attention on the boy with the bat-like scream and suddenly he saw his body kneeling down. He groaned out of the effort to move a body that wasn’t his and made the boy screech again in the direction of an ice user and a strength user. He had to get rid of strong opponents first.

He could feel the headache starting to form, a small part of his brain reminding him that whoever he was using was currently fighting back against his control and he needed to go back to his own body soon. With a blink he was back to his body and the bat-like Quirk user was passing out on the floor

“What was that?!”

“Part of my Quirk, keep fighting!”

The number of people standing up kept going down and down, Logan was sweating and Roman was having troubles keeping up with the sword creation. He could see Patton breathing heavily and Virgil grinding his teeth.  Using their powers like this was pushing them all to their limits.

“ONE MINUTE!”

Roman stared wide eyed to the announcer, noticing for the first time the giant clock floating out of a woman’s back. The clock was joined to her thanks to a giant chain and Roman hide a wince; that looked painful

“Logan, do you know her?”

“Name’s clockwork!” Logan kicked Roman’s leg forcing him to the ground, just in time to avoid a metal ball “She can push time back, heal wounds until she’s forced to turn time to normal and freeze time, besides you know, working as a giant –Roman to your left!- clock”

Roman materialized a scythe and with the handle he punched a kid’s stomach, making them gasp and cough. He panted; he could feel his energy reaching really low levels and black spots starting to form in his vision. Just when he thought he was going to pass out Logan slapped him hard enough to leave him stunned

“Less than a minute, keep awake!”

Roman grunted; he could see Logan shaking and grinding his teeth’s. Patton looked ready to fall over, and Virgil was grabbing a handful of his hair. They were all exhausted, so when the giant clock in front of them disappeared Roman allowed himself to fall back on the floor

He could see Patton trying to reach up to Virgil and the darker boy pushing his hand away, the obvious headache making him more than a little sensitive to touch. Besides Roman himself was Logan, trying to support his own weight and resting his hands on his legs. They were all exhausted, but they weren’t the only ones up.

If Roman had to guess he would say that perhaps more than half his class was still up, a few kids from the Medical area where still standing strong and of the Gen Ed department there was only one girl besides Patton and Virgil.

“I thought less people would make it”

“Same, but im more impressed at the ones that did passed out. You would think our full class would still be fighting”

Both boys chuckled, thinking back on the barbaric ways their teacher used to force them to do their best

“You have an hour and half of rest!”

There was a collective groan of relief and those that were still officially in the Sport Festival walked to the waiting rooms. The group of four went together, making immediate use of a group of chairs. Virgil rested his head against Logan’s shoulder, giving an exhausted sigh while Roman used Patton’s legs as a pillow

“I feel like death”

That expression was answered by three other grunts.

If Logan had to estimate the amount of time they were asleep he would say around an hour, perhaps a bit more. But when he woke up he realized two things, one that Virgil was currently resting his head on his legs, and two that Patton was probably going to wake up with a horrible neck cramp.

He started to think of strategies, no one knew what the next challenge would be like but he had to be ready for everything. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he failed to realize he was running his hands through Virgil’s hair. The only reason why he called attention to that fact was because of Virgil’s sleepy voice

“Imma fall ‘sleep again ’f you keep doing that” Logan chuckled a little and passed his hands through Virgil’s hair one last time before lifting them up

“I apologize, did I wake you up?”

“Nah, side effect of the Quirk, I don’t sleep much”

Logan nodded, every Quirk had a drawback, it was no surprise that a Quirk related to fear and anxiety would avoid its user to get enough rest. Virgil sat down straight and yawned, letting a soft groan after stretching himself

“Should we wake them up?” Virgil pointed in the direction of the two other boys, still fast asleep

“Probably, they might want to think of a strategy for the next round”

“What are we even doing?”

“They have yet to let us know”

Virgil frowned; he disliked not being ready for the situations but he gave up with a sigh. It was improbable that a hero would be ready for everything, he just had to learn to adapt no matter the situation.

They woke the other two boys up and Logan stared around. Lots of people were still asleep, some were eating and a few were checking their Quirks, seeing how much they could still use them and how much it exhausted them.

With a glance around his friends Logan focused on Patton, who immediately flinched and tried to push his control away

“What was that for?!”

“I apologize, I needed to make sure I wasn’t that exhausted”

“Jeez, you can ask first! That was a rude way of waking up!”

Logan nodded once and Patton gave him a small smile. He wasn’t angry with his best friend; he just preferred a warning before Logan decided to test his Quirk on him. Roman jumped up thanks to the conmotion, almost falling face first to the floor. He apologized to Patton for the rude wake up and for almost punching the more happy boy but Patton just waved the apology away

After a few minutes of them trying to brainstorm what the possible new challenge was the doors opened, showing the smiley face of the principal. She was a really bubbly and happy person, which greatly contrasted the fact that his Quirk was pulling people in total darkness.

When she entered the room everyone present there tensed up. She cleared her throat and gave them all a calming smile

“Students of this honorable school, you all are just now in your first year. Because of that, we as a school, consider that is important to hear your opinion.”

Behind her appeared a holographic screen showing three options

“You can choose what the next and last challenge will be” She moved to the side and pointed at the screen “Would you prefer a one on one battle, a “capture the flag” challenge, or another death match of everyone versus everyone?”

There were murmurs around the room, they were given a choice. Everyone already knew the powers of the others or at least had a vague idea of what their powers were, and none of them were really ready for another All VS All.

The principal stood near the door, a calming smile on her face the whole time. After a few more minutes of murmurs and of all of them pointing out the good and bad points of each option a decision was made

When the students informed the principal of their choice she smiled and nodded, before leaving the room with a cheerful “Get ready soon!”

Virgil gave an exhausted sounding sigh and sat down heavily on the chair, making the other three stare at him in confusion. After a few seconds of the staring Roman started giggling and Virgil sighed again

“Are we missing something?”

“Vir has the worst cardio resistance in life, so running around…”

“Might make my shoot at the heroics class slip out of my hands, yeah”

“I was going to say that it’ll make you look like a fish out of the water Dr. Gloom”

Virgil gave him a crocked smirk and Roman shook his head

“Well, is just capture the… not flag, capture the cape, and we can use our Quirks so you might be able to steal a few capes thanks to Shadow”

Virgil nodded, Logan had a point.

The moment the doors opened and the teachers appeared to push them out again Virgil grabbed onto Logan’s sleeve and gave him a soft smile

“Thank you for this morning by the way, i forgot to say so before”

The flustered boy nodded, fixing his glasses and trying to avoid a blush from reaching to his face. He pushed all the feelings aside once the giant clock appeared in the air once again and concentrated on stealing as many capes as possible. The angry face of Edna screaming about “no capes” making him break his serious mask for a second. Of all the things they could have put in the back of the capes, why did it have to be the one that made him laugh?

He came back to reality hard when he felt a tug on his cape and, using his own body weight he pulled the cape to himself. He came face to face with a red handed Roman who chuckled in nerves and fled the scene as fast as he could.

Logan couldn’t help but to chuckle. There was nothing wrong with it seeing as all of them were currently rivals and he knew they were all going to fight against the others eventually. There could only be one winner, after all.

He could see people giving their capes to Patton and laughing, making him chuckle a little. His best friend could be really manipulative thanks to his Quirk. The other end of the spectrum was right besides the sunshine boy.

People were giving their capes to Virgil out of fear and cowering slightly when Shadow solidified enough to actually take the capes.

There were of course those who refused and resisted the pull of the Quirks, and those were currently running all around trying to take the capes of the others.

Clockwork stood in front of them all, stopping time for the smaller clocks of those who had lost and making sure the time was added to those who took the capes. It was like a point system but with clocks, Logan was impressed.

He let himself be distracted enough for a girl to take his cape and he gave her a soft smile, he was officially out. It didn’t bother him, of course he wanted to compete against his best friends but he didn’t want it yet. There was no use in creating a rivalry before the due time, after all.

He sat down on the bleachers and took stock of how things were going. Roman was going around stealing as many capes as possible and trying to run away before the others noticed, while Virgil had abandoned the subtle approach and was directly stealing them thanks to shadow. He searched for Patton only to notice him walking in the direction of the bleachers

���Got kicked out?”

“Roman sneaked behind me” he had a smile on his face, but in general he looked bothered

“Are you scared of not making it?”

“You know my biggest dream is to be a rescue hero, I want to help people, and I want to save them… but I need the right knowledge to do that”

“And you don’t get that in General Education”

Patton nodded, staring at his hands

“My Quirk is pretty much useless except for making people smile and give them a fake sense of content” Logan was going to interrupt but Patton held up a hand “I know what you want to say, but you can’t really deny is truth. When I push it the only thing that happens is that it drives people insane with happiness”

Logan frowned, he knew it was truth, but it was painful to hear his upbeat friend sounding so beat down and tired

“Do you resent it?”

“My power? No”

“Then?”

“I just wish it had more uses. Sure I can change the emotional states of people, even those who are terrified, and make them happy again, but once I release it? All the panic catches up in a second. I send people into more panic attacks than what I save” he gave a hollow laughter and passed a hand through his hair “How can I be a hero if I hurt people?”

Logan gave him a one-armed hug and sighed

“You’ve done great during the sport festival Pat, if the teachers fail to recognize so then maybe they are not the pro heroes this country needs. And you keep forgetting that you are still just a kid. We are here to learn how to help people even if some of us have destructive Quirks, if you think I can become a hero then rest assure that you can do it too”

They sat in silence after that. There were less people playing now than at the beginning and both could see Roman trying to sneak past Virgil’s defenses to steal his cape. What neither expected was for Virgil to grab Roman’s arm and flip him.

Roman stared at the blue sky with confusion. Why was he staring at the sky?

“…Ow” a few seconds passed “OW! Virgil are you for real?!”

“Don’t sneak up on me you dork!”

The two boys staring at them chuckled, and when Virgil was pulling Roman to his feets the same girl that stole Logan’s cape took both their capes and pulled, sending them directly to the floor again

“Wha-”

“Lilly?”

“Yo, mister dark and broody!”

Virgil groaned, Lilly had insisted they keep in contact, he just wasn’t expecting her to have lasted this long during the festival, especially when most of the Hero course B had lost during the All VS All fight.

“I’ll take good care of both your capes, losers!”

And with that the girl was back in the air, looking at every one with an analytic eye

Virgil sighed, a frustrated smile on his face. He was happy she was still standing strong; it was just… seeing his dreams kind of being ripped out of his hands dealt a heavier blow than what he expected. He still had the next year festival, but he would already be behind the others. He would have to work harder, he would have to prove that he deserve to be a hero all over again.

From the highest point the principal stared at the students still standing and at those that had lose, a small smile on her face. This year’s batch was interesting, to say the least.

[pietro-capimagines]

Battered and Bruised Ch. 4 (Bucky x reader)

Good afternoon lovely readers! I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s new chapter. It’s about to get super angsty up in here now. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I love you all.  

Description:  Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.

Warnings: Angst, hospitalization, mentions of death, seizures

Chapters 1 2 3 

Masterlist

The sound of you and the chair toppling over echoed in your mind. Your shaky and uneven breaths were fading. Your restraints were making angry redlined into your wrist, the skin beginning break. The Winter Soldier was kicking you in your gut as you laid on the ground, helpless. 

He was grunted and yelled every time his foot made contact with your limp body. And then suddenly, there was no more pain. A floating sensation began to ripple through you.

From the shadows behind the super soldier, emerged your mother.

“Mom?” You breathed out as she knelt down beside you, beginning to stroke your hair. “But, you’re dead…” It was true. Your mom had passed away when you were ten years old in a car accident. 

“My sweet F/N, it’s not your time.” She smiled as she kissed you on the cheek. Her touch left your skin tingling, and a tear rolled down your cheek. “You have to fight, baby.” A beautiful smile graced her face. She began to stand and walked backwards, receding into the darkness.

“Fight… I have to… fight…” Your words were slurred and drawled out as your eyes were lolling around, trying to focus. 

A loud bang erupted through the interrogation room. The door burst open and a black arrow flew across the room, hitting the Russian agent in the chest, electrocuting him. His body was convulsing on the floor next to you as the electric shocks pulsed through him. 

“F/N? Stay with me!” Clint shouted at you, cutting your restraints. His words were echoing through your brain as you tried to stay awake. He tried to carry you as gently as possible to not make your injuries worse. You became unconscious as your body began to shut down. Clint held you to his chest as he jogged through the many halls, making his way back to the quinjet. 

“Bucky! Look at me. It’s Steve.” His eyes were bewildered and filled with hurt. He didn’t blame Bucky, but he couldn’t believe the state you were in as he saw you being carried out. 

“I don’t know who that is!” The Winter Soldier growled, making a run to tackle Steve.

“I don’t want to do this. Don’t make me, Bucky. Please. For F/N.”  But, he wasn’t stopping. Before he could do any more damage, Steve hit him in the temple with the edge of his shield, knocking him out cold. He stood there, looking at his best friend sprawled out on the cold concrete unconscious. 

“We have to get back to the jet, now. We don’t have much time. And F/N is critical. Clint says she’s fading away fast.” Natasha huffed out, a trickle of blood streaming down the side of her face. 

A red energy enveloped Bucky, picking him up and moving him out of the door. Wanda was holding him up, trying to move as fast as she could without hurtling him through a wall. 

“Come on, F/N needs us.” Steve regained his composure and they ran out of that little room. A room you would never forget. A room where you witnessed the love of your life being ripped away from you.  

“Bucky, get off!” You were sprawled out on the bed with a shirtless super soldier putting all his weight on your body. 

“Not until you give me a kiss!” He nestled into the crook of your neck placing kisses along you jaw and collarbone. A big grin began making its way across his face and you could feel his scruff against your skin. You were giggling and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. You began to pull away, but he wouldn’t let you, deepening the kiss. You smiled against his warm lips as his hands began to explore your body. You managed to roll over so that you were straddling him. You cupped his face kissing him tenderly, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as you lightly bit his earlobe. That night was the first time you had made love with him. 

Bucky woke up a day later, that memory bringing him back to consciousness. Steve was sitting in a chair next to him, reading the newspaper. He groaned, trying to shift himself into a sitting position on the bed, when a pain spiked in his brain.

“Bucky, you’re awake.” Steve had a small smile, but worry and concern was etched on his face. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, giving it a light pat. “Lay back down, pal. You took a really hard hit to the head.” 

He complied and stopped moving around. A sudden sinking feeling hit Bucky. He suddenly felt nauseous at the realization that you weren’t there. 

“Steve. Wh- where’s F/N?” 

He didn’t reply. He pursed his lips, not knowing what to tell him. “Bucky, uhm..” The right words weren’t forming in his head.

“Steve. Tell me right now.” Tears were welling up in his eyes, and his lip began to quiver. 

“She’s in the hospital ward… She just got out of surgery.” Steve could see the hurt in his oldest friend’s eyes. It broke his heart to see Bucky like that. 

“Oh god, what have I done?” He threw the sheets away from him and ran to your location despite the unbearable pain in his head. Steve tried to stop him. He knew the site of you would be too much for him. 

When he reached the hospital ward, he saw you in a bed with many dark bruises and fresh stitches. You had a black and swollen eye, along with a broken nose. Bucky fell to his knees at the door, sobbing. 

“I’m so sorry, F/N. I’m so sorry.” He choked out sobs and yells. He felt a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles on it, trying to calm him down. 

“She would want you to stay with her, be strong for her. Come on, Buck.” He looked up, it was his best friend. Steve helped him up and sat him down in a chair beside you. Bucky gently held your hand, kissing it, and put it on his cheek as tears streamed down his face. Steve left without another word, leaving him and you alone. 

Bucky spoke softly, telling you how sorry he was and how much he loved you. He begged for your forgiveness and hoped that you would still love him. You were his everything. 

He took your medical chart from the end of the bed, flipping through the pages. He found out that you experienced not on the many bruises, cuts, a black eye, and a broken nose, but that you also had broken ribs, internal bleeding, a dislocated shoulder, and that part of your lung collapsed. He couldn’t bear that the fact that he did this to you. He tried to fight it, but at the end of it all, it didn’t work. 

“I’m a monster. I’m a fucking monster.” He sobbed, putting his head against the bed. 

You woke up to the sound of crying. You couldn’t open your eyes, they were too swollen. But you recognized the voice. It was Bucky. 

You moved your right hand and it came in contact with his head. You lifted it and began to stroke his hair. 

“F/N?” He lifted his head, his eyes puffy and red from the tears. You gave him a small smile and found his cheek. You stroked it and he placed his hand over yours. “I thought I lost you.” Tears were brimming on his eyes again. 

You tried your best to speak, but it came out as a little whisper. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” The words still slightly burned in your throat, and the pain in your ribs wasn’t as bad as it was before. 

He let out a sad chuckle and got up to kiss your busted lip. The sensation felt so good against yours, you missed the way he felt and tasted. 

He pulled away. “I did this to you. How are you not upset?” His eyebrows were stitched together and his eyes were wide and shifting along your face, looking for an answer. 

“That wasn’t you Buck. It wasn’t you in there. How could I blame you when I know you tried to fight it? I love you James Buchanan Barnes. I always have and always will.” The words came out a little easier now. You wanted to look at him, to study his features, but you couldn’t open your eyes.

He gave you a soft smile, a tear running down his cheek. You felt it and wiped it away.

“Don’t cry bab-” Your hand dropped away from his face. Your body began to shake, violent convulsions making its way through your body. 

“Nurse! Somebody- she’s- she’s having a seizure!” Bucky’s voiced echoed throughout the building and the medical team ran in, along with the team. He feared for the worst. He screamed out your name, tears rolling down his cheek. The once steady sound of the heart monitor began to send a long monotone note that echoed in the room, imprinting itself into his memory. Forever.

OKAY BEFORE ANYBODY STARTS FREAKING OUT, IMMA LET YOU KNOW RN THAT ITS NOT OVER YET. DONT WORRY. 

It actually didn’t end up really long, but I hope it did some justice. I hope this cliff hanger leaves you on the edge of your seat till tomorrow ;) leave me some feedback on what you think. Have a beautiful day, I love you all! 

Taglist:

@mcfuccfairy @floofypillow @ficarchive007 @kaitlynthehuman @pinkleopardss

@sergeantsandscoundrels @theforeverunitedfandoms @animexchocolate

@blueskies-love @dxnaii-rxse

If you want to be tagged in chapter five and the rest of the series, let me know!

[impala-dreamer]

Monday Mornings

SPN FanFic

~Y/N owns the best little coffee shop in Lebanon. She's a fixture in the town, a smiling face that provides everyone with that special pick-me-up they need to get through the day. One busy Monday, she finally decides it's time for a pick-me-up of her own, and makes a special cup of coffee for her favorite customer.~

Sam x Reader

945 Words

Warnings: Extreme Fluff that is completely uncommon for me.

A/N: Just a little thing for my Coffee Anon for one year of being a sweetheart and thinking of me every day. I hope this brightens your day as you do mine :). <3 Hope you all enjoy.

My Masterlist ~ Become A Patreon ~ Find My Original Works on Amazon

The coffee shop was busy, but that wasn’t unusual for a Monday morning. It seemed that everyone in Lebanon went out like morons Sunday night and woke up needing an extra caffeine boost the next day just to drag themselves out of the house. You would think they’d know better by now, but people never learned.

People were also creatures of habit. Y/N knew almost everyone in town by face if not by name. They all came into her little coffee shop at least once a week, always ordering the same thing, always greeting her the same way.

Marshall Langman liked to sneak a red velvet cupcake on Tuesday mornings when his wife wasn’t looking; said Y/N’s were the best he’d ever tasted. He had a major sweet tooth so Y/N always added an extra shot of caramel syrup to his latte free of charge.

Alyssa Myers was lactose intolerant, so she had her cappuccino with steamed almond milk, and Y/N kept a special steam cup on the side for her. Her little sister, Janie didn’t like coffee at all and always asked for extra, extra whipped cream on her hot chocolate.

Sam Winchester always smiled when he walked in the door, ducking his head so as not to whack the bell above the door, which he’d done many times before. Unlike the rest of the world, he always seemed wide awake, with a sweet smile and bright hazel eyes. Y/N often wondered if he slept at all, but she rarely did either, and the coffee helped.

“Morning.” His eyes lingered on Y/N as she finished up Mrs. Hartman’s cinnamon americano.

Y/N knew his voice, could feel his presence, knowing it was him before she even looked up. “Be right with you, Sam.” An excited smile tickled her lips but she bit it back, trying to stay professional and not dump too much cinnamon on the coffee.

It was hard to see details out of the corner of her eye, but Y/N was almost sure he blushed a bit, with only made it harder to not smile.

“Here you are, Mrs. Hartman. Thank you so much!”

The older woman smiled and took her drink, barely making eye contact. “Thanks, Y/N.”

Sam moved aside to let her pass, ever the gentleman in Y/N’s eyes. Always waiting patiently in line, never taking too long to order, always courteous and sweet. A little too gentlemanly, Y/N thought to herself with a laugh. Well, she’d have to fix that.

He stepped up to the counter and their eyes met full on.

“Good morning,” he said again, a little softer this time; no need to be loud so close.

Y/N bit her lip and smiled. “Mornin’. The usual?”

Sam nodded and took a breath. “Black coffee, hot. Thanks.”

Y/N grinned at him but didn’t move to pour his coffee. “You know, Sam, I make really great coffee.”

He laughed which made her heart skip. How had she never heard him laugh before? It was… adorable.

“I know,” Sam replied, licking his bottom lip quickly. “That’s why I’m here.”

Y/N cleared her throat and leaned on her hands on the counter, hoping he could take a peek down her top at his height. “Obviously,” she teased. “But I mean… you always, always get the same thing. Hot coffee, black. It’s a good brew- I know, I roast it and mix it myself - but there are so many other things to try. Live a little, dude.”

The apples of Sam’s cheeks turned pink and he dipped his chin; a bit of hair falling from its place behind his ear and into his eyes. “I like black coffee.”

Y/N chewed her cheek and narrowed her eyes, studying him. He was handsome and mysterious, but there was also fun behind those eyes, hidden away somewhere that Y/N would love to dig for.

“Fine,” she said after a beat, moving over to grab a cup. “But this one’s on the house.”

“Oh?” Sam asked, watching her pour. “Why’s that? It’s not my birthday.”

Y/N shrugged and fit the travel lid onto his cup. “Well, it’s kind of our anniversary.”

He startled gently and lifted his brows in question. “It is?”

Y/N sighed and placed the coffee down between them on the counter. “You have been in here every single Monday for exactly one year, Sam Winchester. You have smiled and chatted, and ordered a single black coffee exactly fifty-two times.”

He laughed again. “Is that so?”

“It is.” She smiled and licked her lips, scrounging up an army of courage.

“That’s...cool,” he admitted, staring into her eyes. “Happy anniversary.”  

“And to celebrate…”

His hand hovered over the cup as he reached for it.

“...You are going to meet me tonight after I close up and we’re gonna have our first cup together.”

Her hand brushed his.

“It’s not healthy to drink coffee so late,” he said softly; his heart racing as the heat from her hand pushed against his.

Her thumb wrapped around his palm and he shut his hand, squeezing tight.

“Then I’ll make it two decafs.”

The bells above the front door chimed as another wave of tired townsfolk shuffled in.

Sam reluctantly let her go and picked up his coffee, smiling as he brought it to his lips. “It’s a date.”

Y/N laughed behind a bright smile and nodded. “See you later, Sam.”

A crowd gathered around the counter as Sam backed away, steam from his cup warming his lips, a smile from Y/N warming his heart.

2020 Forever Tags:

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