#but blah blah blah blah i am strong i am brave and even when im not brave im actually still brave for being scared [like rn] | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

traincat · 4 years ago

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I know that everyone is pretty sure that the FF movie will mean that Johnny will now never be officialy let out of the closet but personally I feel like since the FF are so unpopular and ppl have been bugging Marvel and Disney for an actual canon & 'important' gay character that they may just? Use him? I'm absolutely losing it and its not going to happen (and if it does, good god, its going to be handled so badly) but imagine. Tho as long as they dont bring lyja in im ill count the movie as Ok

So I am going to go Full Conspiracy Theorist out here for a minute because when I and a couple others I personally know have been kind of saying “Johnny’s never coming out now” it refers to a very specific recent incident that we were kind of side eyeing for Possible Movie Interference even before this announcement. Saying up front that I don’t know that this is true, and even if Someone Did Change The Script it’s just as likely to be comic editorial pulling the plug than Kevin Feige coming down from on high to stuff Johnny back in the closet like he’s the Plant Man and it’s the ‘60s:

And then they never let him out of there again. (Strange Tales #121)

So here’s the deal: we know that there are several creators involved with Marvel who hold the belief that Johnny Storm is not the bastion of heterosexuality he’s very often been pushed as. Marjorie Liu (and most likely Daniel Way but we only have Marjorie Liu’s word on this last time I checked) intentionally wrote the relationship between him and Daken in Dark Wolverine as sexual. When I reviewed Marvels Snapshot: Fantastic Four for Women Write About Comics I received some very nice commentary from the creators and a retweet from Kurt Busiek, who is in charge of the Snapshot collection -- and I spend the majority of that review pretty openly talking about the subtext of Johnny’s sexuality and the history that has. So like, this is out there, it goes beyond fandom circles. People know, and you can tell, because a lot of the time multiple creators don’t spend decades making jokes about a character being gay if they don’t kind of think that character is gay. (I am looking at you, John Byrne.) But anyway, fast forward. It’s 2018 and the Fantastic Four are back on the shelves after their Film Rights Mandated Banishment (that Jonathan Hickman leaked as being a Real Thing and not another conspiracy theory). And while I have some significant problems with the 2018 run so far, I have to say, that first issue starts off strong, not in the least because it also featured the return of Wyatt Wingfoot, Johnny’s best friend and former roommate. Turned current roommate again, since apparently they were living together. They were also touching a lot.

Like a lot lot. Love a boyfriend leash. (Fantastic Four v6 #1) And like, look, longtime Johnny readers can tell you all about his long relationship with Wyatt Wingfoot and the subtext you can read into it, but a lot of casual readers noticed this too. People were talking about it. It was noticed. It was pretty obviously paralleled against Ben and Alicia, who were getting engaged at the same time.

Fast forward a couple of issues, all of which Wyatt sticks around for -- he was pretty obviously living with the Fantastic Four after their return for a couple of issues there -- to Ben’s bachelor party, where he and Johnny have this particular conversation:

“When you know -- and you’ll know -- take that leap. Don’t wait fer stronger shielding. Be brave, Johnny Storm.” (FF v6 #5) There’s a lot to unpack here in general, but the “be brave, Johnny Storm” sentiment continually sticks out to me, along with how ungendered this speech is -- not when you meet the right woman, blah blah blah. It’s not a big jump to imagine this as leading out to a coming out narrative, and that’s before we factor in this solicit for Fantastic Four #7:

“Plus a strange new development in the life of the Human Torch.” If you’ve read the issue, however, you know literally nothing of note happens to Johnny in it, let alone anything you could consider a new development, strange or not. It seems pretty clear, if you pull the clues, that there was originally some kind of plot involving Johnny -- and likely his romantic future -- in the original plans but then at some point that plot got pulled and likely replaced by the current Sky soulmate plot that has literally left Johnny shackled by heterosexuality. So it’s clear that at some point in early 2019 something shifted and this Johnny plot got pulled, for whatever reason. And I have no proof beyond all this circumstantial evidence that they were lining up anything that was actually going to concretely within the actual Fantastic Four book address his sexuality, but I think given the circumstantial evidence it is a valid theory. I don’t know if I specifically believe that the reasoning behind whatever this plot getting pulled was MCU interference, but it’s likely that the Fantastic Four project was seriously in development by that point to be able to announce it now, and if, by whatever chance, my “Johnny was going to come out” theory was true, we also know that the MCU has a serious problem with actually handling queer representation within their universe -- see Tessa Thompson’s bisexual Valkyrie scene getting cut, the entire Gay Joe Russo incident. They’re, what, 20+ movies in now and there are no actual queer main characters, right? I know Eternals is apparently changing that, but Eternals is not out yet, and also has significantly less name recognition than Fantastic Four. It’s not a great record, and while I would like to think that maybe that could change either with the Fantastic Four or by the time a Fantastic Four movie rolls out, I just don’t have that kind of faith. But if I’m wrong I’ll totally donate double the cost of the ticket and large popcorn to a charity that actually deserves it.

So there’s my conspiracy theory! Some people do this with celebrities, I do it with Johnny Storm. It’s probably equally unrewarding either way.

#johnny storm #traincat talks comics #*replies #Anonymous

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time / and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''you're gonna go far kid'' by the offspring

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gdreamzseternal · 6 years ago

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I’d like to thank

@myradfemblog for finding an extremely old porn blog of mine. I forgot it existed and it actually makes me sick to see that I was role playing such sick disgusting trauma that I went through thinking it would help when it made me so much worse. Thank you for abusing me over something I repeatedly asked you to give me the link to because I wasn’t going to go through your slander about me to find it.

I want to also say thanks because you pointing that out and me seeing that made me cry both from being triggered and realizing how far I’ve come. That I am extremely kink critical now. When I used to be heavily into it. That I don’t whore myself out anymore because “sex work makes me strong”. God I used to genuinely believe that. Makes me sick. I was so so sick. I was still victimizing myself back then...

But now.. I am a survivor.

Everyone advocated for and ignored the dangers of extreme methods of “beat the child into submission”. (Looking at you old people) It’s so sad cause I still see it now. The way a person who I had a normal discussion with suddenly gets to violently abuse me and degrade me just because they didn’t like what I had to say. Sounds like abusive parents. Everything’s cool til it’s not.

My dad beat my ass cause at 9 years old because I looked him in the eyes and told him to stop drinking cause he was being mean. Telling the truth got me abused. Look at that what a surprise.

Humans communicate differently than other creatures on the planet. Does that mean the other creatures don’t communicate? No. That just means they do things different. They don’t need vaccines because they were meant to survive and live here. If humans didn’t have their science we would all be dead! We are in a race with the planet to see who can kill who first. Will we kill the planet (which kills us too idiots) or will the planet eradicate us via disease and natural disasters and heal itself and start over (we still dead). Or do we chill on our population and help the earth heal by bein more considerate of our surroundings. Yeah none of you like me because I say it how it is without thinking about how it will affect any of you. So that means you get to abuse me. I’m not hurting anyone by simply sharing my views. Yet I am being hurt for speaking my views. I’m not actively slitting the throats of disabled people. I’m not saying we have to round up the retards that already exist and just shoot them. They should just be left in their natural form. Yeah give artificial limbs out cause that’s science but giving a nasty fat fuck a wheel chair cause boohoo they can’t loose weight? Nah true waste of resources. I’m saying we use the science that is our only advantage to prevent that from ever happening again.

All I’m doing is talking on MY BLOG. & I get death threats and told I should be raped by my father all over again. Simply for sharing my feelings on what will 1000000% save the greater good. It doesn’t even have to be permanent. Imagine if every grown man had to get a vasectomy for the next 20 years til all the excited potential parents get throughly processed to see if they are psychologically, psychically, financially and home stable to have children. Then there is a massive database of all the adorable kids waiting to find homes and they get to meet and have a 30 day period where THE CHILD decides if they like their new potential parents. Every couple/person wanting to adopt can adopt up to 2 kids and the kids get a say too.

Humans are not special and I don’t care if you disagree with me. Yet for some reason we literally act like gods gift (complete pun intended) That think who fucking cares what we do to everything around us including ourselves because this is OUR EARTH. We can do what WE WANT. Blah blah blah. Then the WHITE MEN put control on EVERYONE. Then slowly we colored folk said fuck you and made our own lives cause who gives a flying fuck about someone’s skin color except for white people. Then the humans just started literally takin over. Who cares if a bunch of birds nests lived in this tree? I want my new condo that I spend 2-3 months a year in right fucking here so the homes of those birds don’t matter. Let’s massively hunt these animals into extinction for our pleasure. (Okay Hitlers)

We are selfish

I wasn’t raised like you. I wasn’t raised by anyone but my own fucking brain. I never had any positive influences but the voices in my head. We see the world for what it is and not the false reality im creating for myself. I won’t even say ‘most’ if you were raised right because even today in 2019 the system and adults hide the abuse and damage that is really happening. Clearly this whole system isn’t working.

I was raised that literally everything in the whole world was both good and bad. So I learned to be objective and unbiased. Your feelings are what get you killed. Ask any dead kid who didn’t speak up about their abusive parents. And any bleeding out gangbanger who got felt offended by a color and killed someone over it. Someone who felt the desire to get high cause they have no self control and killed some to get $$. But it wasn’t them because even though they felt the need to do the drugs it wasn’t their fault.

So why are we going to keep adding more and more children to the solution when we don’t even know what to do with the poor innocent souls that we have now? We just pretend it’s not that big a deal and keep adding feul (the kids) to the fire (the shitty system). CLEARLY you all know there’s a problem and nothing any of you are doing is working.

So when do we take extreme measures? When do we ACTUALLY make a change. We have nuclear bombs hell ANY bomb and those are okay “when absolutely necessary” but allowing people to have kids they can’t afford, can’t raise, got raped into them, got one night standed with, can’t handle. A BOMB AFFECTS HUMANS AND THE ENVIRONMENT NEGATIVELY. Humans getting neutered (since that’s what you call it for other creatures) will effect the world positively. The bombs are okay though? We can MASS destroy life but we can’t mass PREVENT it from having to be destroyed or emotionally ruined in the first place? Not forever just til we get our shit together.

The abominations and retards. That’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE that’s why no one likes when you mention it. They are like the endless elephant in the room. I will die by the quote, “A few bad apples ruins the whole barrel”. We think that it’s perfectly okay to keep adding bad genes to our makeup while simultaneously praying we live forever. It’s so tiresomely contradicting.

If you can all make such a fucking effort for these retard abominations that you breed. Then you can STOP breeding COMPLETELY until you give the kids homes that need them. Those kids will be more likely to become doctors getting adopted out to good homes. Then if they get left to rot in a shitty system while they walk in a grocery store with their mean foster mom and see a happy young couple PREGNANT with their first child when they could have adopted him. If you choose to give birth instead of adopting then you might as well walk up to a kid in a foster/group home and tell them they are garbage and ain’t ever going anywhere.

I still haven’t had my question answered... why does ANY HUMAN ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET need to breed when there are already so many homeless children?

So what is it are we going to stop breeding and adopt all the kids out to good homes that have been more throughly evaluated than a simple background check and having enough beds and money?

Are we going to keep creating a whole brand new system for the retards when the perfectly able children who would flourish with good parents system is still completely fucked?

Giving whole TV shows to literal human abominations for entertainment. Or humans that are forced to overbreed or sickly do it “for religious reasons”. You get to see how much their disability/struggles makes their life so hard but they are so ~brave and strong~ because society would rather force conjoined twins to spend their lives together or die trying to separate because human euthanasia is wrong until a human kills another human???????

Where does that make sense.

We are going to keep worrying more about the dysfunctional, malfunctioned, rejects of our society before the regular ones? We are going to keep following fake gods we have no proof of so that we don’t have to accept the realities of human nature.

Are we going to not do anything and ignore all the clear issues and keep adding more kids?

The same can be said about the immigrant shit in America. We have so many problems we don’t need anymore people and this place is fucked why would you wanna come here anyway? (I digress on this)

Are we going to keep throwing children out like trash in hopes that someone else will raise the busted nut you let fester in your womb?

Like out of those which one of these which one is the best option? Because all but one are things we are already doing and it isn’t working.

So hate me for being unbiased. But as my therapist (yes I discuss this with BOTH my Ts to make sure I am not delusional) put it. I am not looking at it for the benefit of humans. I’m looking at the benefit of the earth as a whole. I don’t want humans to all die off. But if it’s what it has to take in order for this planet to survive then so be it. There are so many other species, creatures, life on this Planet.

To put it simply you’re all simpleminded.

There is no god because Humans seem to think they are god. & we can breed, have our technology, have our vaccines. But as long as we are still over breeding and not adequately using our resources....

The Human Rights we are fighting for will not matter if there is nothing for the humans to live on.

This Earth is our home and there are too many of us right now. Too many of us doing too many wrong things.

Focus on the Human Wrongs then there will be no need for Human Rights because they will realize they are all just another species on this glorious and beautiful earth.

I know none of you were take anything from this.

You all were taught one way or you think one way and that is it there can’t be any other way and anyone else who thinks differently than that is wrong but at the end of the day my ideas are what will save humanity your ideas are what will destroy it. Your safe space will be irrelevant if you have no where to put it.

A human’s need to add feeling and emotion to everything is our biggest flaw.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk Typing Podcast

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whereamipanicingandwhy-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Peter Hayes x reader Divergent

In this imagine, Peter is an instructor and you are his initiate. He is 17 and you are 16. I assume you know the abriviations already. When I joined Dauntless, I had no idea it would be like this. I was from Erudite. I kinda hated it there. Logic this, logic that, blah, blah, blah. When I went for my aptitude test, they told me I was something called divergent. My results were Amity, Dauntless, and Erudite. I didnt know what to choose. Should I have stayed with my family in Erudite? No. I thought with my heart more than my brain. I was smart, but I didnt want to spend my life in a library. Maybe amity? No. I'm too sarcastic. They'd probably drug me with that peace serum crap. So I chose dauntless. Now here I am, standing at the edge of an abandoned building, staring at the mangled lip of a massive hole leading to the Dauntless compound. I'm not brave enough to jump first, so I let two others go before me, both Dauntless horns. I stand in my Erudite clothes. I wanted to dress most like dauntless as I could. I wore dangerously short light denim shorts, and a blue top that kept falling off my shoulder. I'm taller than the other girls here. I shake my long (h/c) hair out of its side braid anf let it blow in the wind. Its my turn. Four, one of the leaders, stands right on the edge, so close I'm afraid he'll fall if the wind blows hard enough. I jump, listening to the wind screaming in my ears. I his the net hard, not able to breathe. I smile. I may be able to fit in after all. Im pulled out of the net by someone, and right as I'm about to object, those eyes gaze into mine amd I stop thinking. A boy looks at me, like he's staring into my soul. His dark hair is shiny an swooped back. He doesn't look much older than me, maybe one or two years. "Looks like we've got our first transfer. What your name?" The boy asks. I keep staring until im snapped out of my daze "Um...(y/n)" " Welcome to dauntless." He winks at me and I dont know to respond. The rest of the initiates jump and the boy who caught me speaks up. "My name is Peter. This" he gestures to the boy on his left "is Uriah . We are your instructors. Dauntless borns with Uriah, transfers with me." My heart beats faster. I'm going to be taught by this gorgeous stranger and I don't know how I'll get through it alive. ------------time skip, initiation, blah blah blah-------------------- During capture the flag, I was on Peter's team. Yay. Just kidding. He kept me , of all people, by his side the whole time. His reasoning was 'You're tall, smart and fast, so you'll provide many necisary tools.' Yeah, okay. Then why keep me cooped up? Actually, I love this. Not only am I on his team, but I'm by his side the whole time. I dont know why he treats me so much better than everyone else, but I'm not complaining. Peter waves his hand in front of my face, interruptung my thoughts. "So we're going to split up for a moment. You're going to be fine on your own, I know it. Stay safe and I'll see you in a minute." He winks at me again. I can't help but smile. I walk around the corner when three guys and a girl stand there. Their guns are empty and the tallest one mutters under his breath. They throw the guns yo the ground. "You," he growls "are done." He lunges at me, and I try to run, but two others hold me from behind. The girl and one of the boys stand in front of me, while the other two kick at me as hard as they can. I can't tell who they are, as they all wear dark masks. Apparently being attacked is a thing here in Dauntless. I dont know who it was last year, but it caused an upset. I cry out, even though no one will care. "Peter! Help me!"Just then he turns the corner, and a wave of relief runs through me. He kicks at everyone around me, all four either running off or at Peter's mercy. It kinda scares me that he's so good at that. I lay on the ground, clutching my head and knees. They went right for my weak points. I couldn't walk. Someone from our team found the flag and we won. Once I knew the game was over, I slumped down into the mud, the thick ooze mixing with my own blood and covering my dauntless clothes. Then I feel two strong arms wrap around me. My vision is blurry, so it takes my eyes a second to focus, especially since whoever is carrying me is running. Then I see his green eyes and dark hair, and I know exactly who it is. We hop on the trains, and after a while, everyone gets off but us. "Where are we going?" I ask, my voice hoarse from the screaming. " Somewhere you'll be safe." I dont ask what that means. We get off at the next possible place, and he still carries me. I think my knees are stable enough, but he refuses to let me down. He takes me around the Dauntless compound into a long room with beds and bathrooms along the wall. It looks a lot like the dormitory, but unused. "This is the old dormitory. They stopped using it after my initiation year. After that, they built a new one. Your class is the first to use it." I'm confused as to why he brought me here. "Why are we here?" He looks at me with sadness in his eyes. "Your attackers were initiates. I refuse to let them see you like that, (y/n). I just can't do it. Not after...." He trails off. Then I realize who last years attack was. Tris Prior....and ...Peter Hayes. "Peter...it..it was...you? The attack last year?" He nods slowly. I'm not as afraid as I should be. Instead, I wrap my arms around him. He's tense at first, but I feel his arms around my waist, and I ease into his touch. I dont want this moment to ever end. "It was stupid, and I swear, I will never do that ever again. I... I can't. I fell in love with someone and I can't let her think badly of me." My heart sinks. I don't know why I thought he might like me. I look at my hands. They're callused from training. "I think I'm going to try to sleep now." I lay on the nearest bed, alone and fall asleep. I wake up in a cold sweat, looking around to see pitch black darkness. Peter lays on the bed a few feet away from mine. I breathe heavily. He jolts up, and looks at me with a scared look in his eyes. "Are you alright? What's happening?" Hes frantic. "Nothing. Just," I press a hand to my head. "Nothing. Nightmare, thats all." He gets up from his cot and walks over to me. He sits on the edge of my bed, and I scoot over, just in case he wants so lay next to me. He lays there for a moment, and I soon after feel him playing with my hair. The slow movement calms me, until I remember that he's in love with someone else. I feel his strong arms around me again, a feeling I'm getting used to. One arm around my waist, the other near my head, outstretched, his long hand dangling off the mattress. He buries his head in my neck. I'm stiff for a moment (no I'm not, I'm erudite to dauntless) and he begins talking, his lips brushing against my skin. "(Y/n), can I ask you something?" "Yeah," I say, my voice small. "Do you like me?" That took me by surprise. My heart races, and I play it off casually. "Yeah, you're a good instructor, and you're nice to me." I'm nervous. I hope he can't tell. He chuckles. "That's not what I mean. I mean do you love me." I freeze. "Yes, Peter. I am in love with you. I highly doubt you love me back though." I sigh. I didnt want him to know that. Especially since hes crushing on someone else. "You know that girl I was talking about earlier? The one I fell in love with?" A pit forms in my stomach at his question. I nod. "You didnt know I was talking about you?" A wave of surprise runs through me. I wasn't expecting that. I turn around, his eyes meeting mine. The next thing I know, his lips are on mine, and nothing else matters.

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