#but believes In the fucking chupacabra

[danineedsanap]

I need all my Daryl Dixon girlies to remember that, at the very least he USED to, POSSIBLY STILL DOES, believe he saw a real Chupacabra.

That’s it

That’s the post

[dixons-sunshine]

Goat Sucker | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Daryl’s story of the mythical chupacabra back in the early days was believed to be just that—a story. So when you and a few others found yourselves running for your lives from a demonic, dog-like creature, you were beginning to believe that his story could have held some truth.

Era: Prison, pre season four.

Warnings: Swearing, near death, I don’t really know how else to tag this.

Word count: 1.7k

A/N: For week three of @lazyneonrabbitt’s Halloween challenge. I read ‘monster mash’ and my mind went here. I hope I didn’t mess up the theme because I’ll admit, I didn’t fully understand the prompt 😅. I hope this is still okay, though!

You could clearly remember the day you first locked eyes with the love of your life, Daryl Dixon. It had been nearly three weeks into the apocalypse, and everyone had gathered around the campfire to exchange stories about their lives. The Dixon brothers had surprisingly opted to join you all, and of everything you had expected the younger brother to share with the group, the fact that he had encountered a chupacabra had not been on the top of the list at all.

Despite the absolute seriousness the crossbow-wielding archer exuded whilst relaying the ominous tale of his supposed encounter with the mythical ‘goat sucker’, nobody had believed him. Everyone already had to accept that the dead could walk. Accepting that something like a chupacabra could potentially be real was just too much. Everybody had waved him off, and decided that his story was just that—a story.

However, as you, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, and Rick sprinted through the woods as fast as each of your legs could carry you, something that resembled a dog but just wasn’t one chasing after you, you were beginning to realize that Daryl’s story could potentially hold some truth.

“Fuck!” Glenn exclaimed in a frustrated whisper as your small group pushed forward into the cabin that you all had miraculously stumbled upon whilst running away from the unknown creature. “What the fuck is that?!”

“It’s dead, as soon as I figure out how to kill it,” Rick said, his chest heaving as he tried to recapture his breath. He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees, closing his eyes as he attempted to get his ducks in a row.

“Holy mother of fucking shit,” you mumbled hoarsely as you rushed towards the window, unofficially becoming the lookout to alert the others if you saw that thing. “Did you see the colour of that thing’s eyes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be paying attention to its eyes,” Maggie started in a sarcastic tone of voice, although you could clearly note the small tremble in her words. “I was more focused on its fangs. Y’know, the same fangs that almost took a chunk from my leg!”

“My eyes were on its backbones,” Glenn whispered in disgust, a shiver rolling over his spine. “What kind of dog looks like that? Acts like that? Is it rabid or something?”

“Nah, it ain’t rabid,” Daryl finally spoke up, instantly gaining everyone’s attention. “Ain’t a dog, neither.”

Rick stepped forward, his blue eyes staring into those of his found brother, desperately seeking his expertise on your current predicament. “You know what that thing is?” When Daryl simply nodded, Rick continued. “What is it?”

Daryl hesitated for a moment. His eyes flickered over to you and Glenn for a split second, before he shook his head and exhaled deeply. “Ya remember that story I told y’all way back when? When we were all gathered ‘round the campfire?”

Recognition dawned on you. “You don’t think—”

“It can’t be,” Glenn cut you off, firmly shaking his head. “They aren’t real. They can’t be.”

Daryl scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, ya got a better explanation for what that thing is, Rhee?”

As Daryl and Glenn bickered back and forth, a quiet scratch on the door captured your attention. Frowning, you pushed yourself away from the window, and slowly made your way over to the door. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage as you approached the door, leaning your ear against the wood to attempt to decipher what had made the noise. You did not want to instantly assume the worst, but every instinct in your body was yelling at you to run, that the not-so-dog was beyond the door, waiting to pounce.

“What are y’all talking about?” Maggie chipped in, confusion lacing her tone of voice. “What is that thing? Or what isn’t it?”

“It ain’t a walker, that’s for damn sure,” Daryl muttered, his steely gaze flickering between Glenn, Maggie and Rick, before resting on you. His eyebrows furrowed as he regarded the terrified look on your face, every sense in his body on high alert. “Y/N? What—”

A loud crash came from the window, shards of glass littering across the floor. A loud yelp escaped Maggie as Glenn pulled her back from the threat that lurked a mere few feet away, and Daryl whipped around with his crossbow raised high. He shot an arrow towards the dog-like creature, the arrow hitting its mark in the creature’s head. However, despite what should have been a lethal shot, the creature was fine. If anything, the shot had simply served to piss the creature off, the dog-monster creeping towards all of you, low growls escaping its mouth as its crimson eyes glared up at all of you.

“Shit!” Daryl cursed loudly as he attempted to reload his crossbow. However, before Daryl’s fingertips could even graze against another arrow, the creature lunged towards him. Daryl fell over onto his back, the monster’s long, rotting fangs trying to bite into the archer, but the younger Dixon brother refused to go out without a fight. Daryl held the creature’s mouth away from him with his hands, but it was clear that he was fighting a battle he was sure to lose in the end.

In a desperate attempt to save Daryl, Glenn, Maggie and Rick each began firing shots towards the monster. You would have joined too, but you quickly realized that your gun was not on your person anymore. You must have dropped it somewhere in the forest while initially running away from the very creature that stood before you. However, you realized that even if you did have your gun on you, it would not have been of any help. Despite the multiple bullets that were being fired into its head, face, stomach, and its back, the creature’s relentless onslaught to take a bite from Daryl did not cease.

The dog-like creature appeared to be unkillable.

You were desperately trying to wrack your brain to find a solution. Daryl would not be able to keep the monster’s fangs away from him much longer. He had already been running on a mere two hours of sleep, and had taken quite the hit while fighting of walkers, so you knew the archer’s resistance was wearing thin.

One after the other, Rick, Glenn and Maggie’s weapons made their uselessness known with resounding clicks that filled the air. You knew that a solution needed to be found, and fast. Daryl’s life depended on it.

Grabbing the nearest object—an iron rod—you rushed forward and began striking the monster with all your might, completely disregarding your own safety. The need to help the archer overtook every ounce of survival instinct in you. You could not let Daryl die. That was out of the question.

Miraculously, the first blow with the iron rod sent the creature flying back. However, you did not stop there. You rushed forward and continued your relentless onslaught on the monster, delivering blow after blow to its body. Admittedly, the small, pained whimper it let out right before its ultimate demise had you feeling sorry for it, but the knowledge that this thing had tried to kill the man you loved drowned out any guilt you felt towards killing it. With one final sickening blow to its head, the creature fell silent, its last breath leaving its body before its death.

The iron rod fell out of your grasp and to the ground below with a loud clank. Your chest was heaving as you looked down at the dog-like monster with wide eyes, fully taking in its appearance. It indeed looked exactly like the archer had described it almost two years prior, and it dawned on you that what Daryl had said rung true; chupacabras exist. You had seen so with your own eyes.

The feeling of someone’s hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality. You raised your head and locked eyes with your partner, his ocean eyes holding a mix of gratitude, disbelief, and a slight mix of fear. He had just looked death right in the face, and only narrowly escaped its clutches.

Completely disregarding the fact that public displays of affection made him uncomfortable, he gathered you into his arms, holding you tightly in his embrace. You did not cry, not about to do so in front of your peers, but Daryl could feel the tremble in your body. You had been afraid for him, for your group, and for yourself. Had you not grabbed that iron rod, you all would have been doomed. Daryl had read somewhere that iron was one of the only things that could hurt and potentially kill a chupacabra, and that theory had proven to be correct.

Exhaling deeply, Daryl shifted his attention towards Glenn, Maggie and Rick. He could clearly note the fear and disbelief on their faces, but that was not his main concern. For almost two years, everyone had laughed at his chupacabra encounter, calling it a lie. Although you did not believe him either, you never outrightly laughed in his face and called him a liar, and he appreciated that.

“See? I told y’all that I saw a chupacabra back then, ya fucks,” he breathed out, before lowering his voice and whispering to you. “Not ya, Sweetheart. That didn’t include you.”

“I know,” you mumbled against his chest, before withdrawing from his embrace and looking up at him. It was only then that you noticed the gash on his shoulder, and you gasped. “Daryl—”

“M’fine,” he cut you off. “I’ll let ya check on it once we get back to the prison, alright?” he reassured you, knowing that you would continue to put up a fight otherwise.

You nodded, choosing to accept that for the time being. “Okay.”

“Well, what the actual hell are we waiting for?” Glenn spoke up, his voice higher pitched than normal to fully show his distress. “Let’s go! I don’t wanna find out if these things travel in packs or something.”

“I agree. Let’s get the fuck outta here,” Rick agreed, already heading towards the door. “Even if that thing was the only one here, those gunshots sure as hell attracted walkers. We need to get going.”

“Okay,” Daryl agreed with a nod, glancing towards you. “Let’s go.”1

[anemicjellyfish]

So I've been going over the likely possibilities of why Blitzø's gun heated up suddenly in Mission: Chupacabra.

My first thoughts were torn between it being interference from either Stolas or Asmodeus.

Stolas has used his magic to assist Blitzø's missions on Earth before.

Eagle-eyed viewers noticed a red glow of magic surrounding Stolas' hand in the bathtub, matched by a red glow around Martha's bullet in Murder Family. So he can use his magic to effect objects on Earth while being in Hell.

Stolas also interfered much more heavily in Truth Seekers, showing up in person when Blitzø & IMP were cornered and locked down by Agents 1 & 2. He had no issue with his possession of Agent 2 or controlling the unnamed agents to paint a summoning circle for him.

Personally, I think that despite the... "breakup," Stolas is the most likely culprit for the Hot Gun thing. But I'd like to give consideration to Asmodeus, because I think it's only fair to consider all possibilities.

I will tend to use the nickname Ozzie, because my phone's autocorrect hates when I type Asmodeus. Sorry.

While we don't know the rules and regulations of Ozzie and his Crystals, we do have to remember Stolas' line to Blitzø in The Full Moon: "You'll be under his [Asmodeus'] jurisdiction..."

I don't think they'd specify that to us without it being important later. Ozzie has also been a prominent figure since his introduction, and his relationship with Fizzarolli only deepens his importance to the story.

I could reasonably guess that either Ozzie himself has the ability to monitor the crystals & their location and use, or that he has people/a person to do that for him.

While I still prefer Stolas here, I could understand an interference from Ozzie. For whatever reason the show has, the existence of Hell needs to be kept away from humans until after they die. If one of Ozzie's Crystals is being used by someone as irresponsible as our beloved Blitzø, who gets caught by humans sometimes, it could put Ozzie at risk. It was ultimately his choice to give the Crystal to Blitzø (through Stolas), so the responsibility for any mistakes could fall onto Ozzie.

The main reason I don't think the Hot Gun is Ozzie? There didn't seem to be any interference in Unhappy Campers. Not only was Blitzø not in a disguise from the start, but Barbie also ditched her disguise in front of that human guy. Blitzø didn't have a Crystal of his own yet, and the one he used to get to Earth wasn't his.

I doubt the firework that killed the camp counselor was from Ozzie, but like I said, I'm open to the possibility that he keeps tabs on his Crystals & their use. Or, at the bare minimum, he knows when a user is in danger/fucking up, and interferes minimally to get them to safety.

Finally, I'm aware of the theories that Blitzø has had a previous relationship with a currently unknown Sin. I believe the fan theories mainly go with Leviathan? I'm not fully into this theory myself, but I've really only ever heard about it from Tiktok.

Since Blitzø's gun has that slight Pirate look to it, one of the aquatic-themed rings of Hell could be its origin. It could have an enchantment or powers we don't know of yet.

It could also just be a magic gun. Blitzø may have some mental connection with it that makes it respond to his needs.

Can't say for sure right now. But I like the idea of Stolas helping out. Especially since th assistance came shortly after Blitzø's line about sucking cloaca.

[suethesocks]

Continuing the villains for my Egyptian Ben 10 au, Charmcaster!

I think here it all started with basically thinking about okay what magic do we have in like our mythology and stuff right and i thought of سحر أسود which is not specific to egypt i think its a general muslim country thing, but hey it checks out!

Every egyptian kid has heard horror stories about Jinn or 'afareet possessing people and whatnot, and plenty of people still believe in it especially older and more religious people, so i thought itd be fun to basically incorporate culture into this au

Another aspect to this is her motif. Im sure most of you have seen the concept art where charmcaster is more fox-like, which ive seen people say it was meant to contrast gwen. Gwen being a cat, feline, and cc being a fox, canine

I liked this idea a lot too but instead of fox, i wanted to go for a سلعوة. A sl'awa is basically some sort of dog creature from egyptian folklore, its sort of like the egyptian farmer's chupacabra. This was kind of hard to do because its been described as looking like a lot of different dogs like foxes or canines or whatever

I ended up going for hyena because thats how my mom knows it and also because if theres any canine thats gonna be a scary dog creature, itd definitely be a hyena those are kinda creepy. Definitely noone will get it without me telling them, but oh well i tried

Heres just some sketches while i tried to get familiar with her design and her bags design

O yeah because i entirely changed her gimmick i had to come up with something different for her bag than the weird voodoo thing they got, so i made it sort of look like a jinn. Or like one interpretation of jinn i guess

I didnt draw this out but while hex has a sort of smoke and lights look for his magic id want charmcaster to have a more firey look for hers, referencing how jinn are beigns made of smokeless fire

I think itd be fun to have spooky things happen with the jinn like charmcaster can only talk to him through the bag but maybe if theyre next to a campfire or something and the jinn gets angry the fire can sort of get bigger and maybe form a sillhouette or something cool like that, or if charmcaster possesses someone their body gets all contorted and stuff

Another fun thing you could do is maybe have a fightscene takeplace at a time where theres an azan coming, so when the imam calls for prayer the words somehow fuck with the jinn or something like that haha

[aziraphales-library]

hello mods!! ive just read a fic called ''curve of old bones'' and ''snow angel'' i believe it was called and was wondering what fic you can recommend me to read that follows the themes of fake dating/ enemies to friends to lover/ pining whilst fucking sorta thing???

Hey, we have tags for everything you're asking for! #fake/pretend relationship, #enemies to lovers, #enemies to friends to lovers, #pining while fucking. As pining while fucking only has two posts, here are some more to add...

Curses foiled again by hapax (E)

To be blunt: in order to return to tip-top condition, Aziraphale was going to have to get laid. And the angel had spent almost six thousand years of his existence among humans assiduously avoiding anything of the sort. Aziraphale turns to his hereditary enemy for assistance with a particularly pesky curse. After all, it’s not like a demon has any feelings that might be involved.

Ambrosia by pilatesandpinot (E)

Those damn aphrodisiacs. They chatted as they soaked in the water, Crowley ate from a platter of fruit, hoping the sugar from them would somehow cure his sudden lightheadedness, as the blood in his head was probably pumping down to his groin, and get rid of the heated feeling in his abdomen, while Aziraphale lathered her arms and shoulders with oil. When she moved down to her breasts and tummy, she leaned back a bit, slowly and carefully cupping herself and making a small little hum sound as she rubbed her belly. Crowley had to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from groaning, watching the glisten of the angel’s skin, the warm glow she seemed to be emitting, her lush and curvy body sitting comfortably in the water. He was indeed fucked. ------------------------------ Aziraphale and Crowley have oysters at Petronius's, and soon learn while visiting the bath house afterwards why oysters are one of Aphrodite's favorite foods.

May My Teaching Drop as the Rain by Dee_Morris (E)

Several people on Twitter have commented that there isn't enough Ineffable Tutors content out there, and I have to agree. The book doesn't go into very much detail about what Cortese and Harrison get up to in the years they spend educating young Warlock, and as a fic writer there's nothing as much fun as a blank space to play in. I expect that the stories in this series will more or less stand alone, but I'll add notes and recaps where I think it's necessary. These will mostly be light-hearted horny adventures with little to no angst. Tags may change or be added as I write more stories.

Out There by snae_b (E)

Small town paper, small town news, and Aziraphale always gets stuck with the shit stories. Strange lights in the desert? Aziraphale might as well be writing about el Chupacabra. Again. At least his source is cute, even if he is a little out there.

The Arrangement by TawnyOwl95 (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley are set up on a blind date as a joke by their respective housemates. They decide to get their own back and call everybody's bluff by *gasp* fake dating!

Craving by DawnOfTomorrow (E)

“You want me to pay for it.” He drawled, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t put words in my mouth.” His assistant said, entirely unimpressed by the fact that he could fire her. “You said-” “I said that it would probably be a good idea for you to get some, and if you can’t be bothered to do it the normal way, that there are professional options. And then I said that if you’d like, I could recommend someone.” --- He called the fucking number. He didn’t know why – okay, he did, he was an idiot, tipsy, lonely, and horny – but he called the damn number. --- Even just looking at the blonde’s profile, he felt a twinge in his gut. Blonde curls indeed – over features that revealed the other man’s age, light eyes, and a cute, upturned nose. Slim lips, currently curved in a smile for the bartender. Crowley studied the rest of him too – a bit of chub, not enough to be fat, but definitely dad-bod territory. He sighed softly, wondering what sort of witch Anathema was, because she had been spot on about this guy being his type. He didn’t even need to see the large hands or plush thighs to make up his mind – this… this could work.

- Mod D

[goodnightmemes]

TIKTOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART 7

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok

❛ I’ve slept with like 1/3rd of them. Some would call me a groupie. I would also call me a groupie. ❜

❛ What do you think about Celine Dion? Are you just done with her? ❜

❛ We can as a family just scroll through Grindr. ❜

❛ Oh no, someone’s driving by. Get small. ❜

❛ Is my butt juicy yet? I’m really looking for some instant gratification. ❜

❛ I can’t even control my emotions, how am I supposed to control a machine? ❜

❛ Who airdropped Markiplier!Jesus at the Shrek rave?! ❜

❛ The best way to get back at someone who wronged you is to live a happy life. But chemically I can’t do that. So I’m gonna fuck his dad. ❜

❛ I send my best emails unmedicated. ❜

❛ The mothman stole my catalytic converter in Point Pleasent, West Virginia. ❜

❛ Bigfoot ate all the bottles out of my recycling bin and called my mom a slut. ❜

❛ The chupacabra keeps stealing packages off my front porch and sending my wife suggestive text messages.  ❜

❛ I don’t trust your physical therapist because she also said you move your hands like this and you get rid of ghosts.

❛ I see Gods law not as a restriction but as a challenge. Now give me the ranch! ❜

❛ Satan will have to dig deeper just to hold me! ❜

❛ We may be low income but we’re not low in c*m. ❜

❛ He says he only hangs out with you because there are more spiders in your house than average.  ❜

❛ I am the silliest of enemies to have. I will make powerpoints disparaging your character, and I will keep this bit going for a minimum of five years. ❜

❛ I will not be silenced by the mailman. ❜

❛ If God didn’t want me to commit fatherless behavior he should have given my mother better taste in men. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. ❜

❛ Bro, they bell peppered downtown. Bro. They bell peppered it. How could you bell pepper my downtown? Bro, they bell peppered me. Dude, I got bell peppered. ❜

❛ When you’re sitting there mixing ice cream into ramen you can’t help but think “what if this is a prank? what if they put that there just to see if they can get me to eat it?” ❜

❛ Here’s the thing: future me? Rich. I believe in her. That bitch is wealthy. Current me? Broke, but I’ve got free time and I’m healthy-ish. So I’m booking trips to faraway places on that bitches credit card, and I am / will be my own sugar mama. ❜

❛ It seems like nobody wants to dabble in the dark arts anymore. It’s all candle spells and rosemary. ❜

❛ The other day I tripped over a lemon hex and dislocated one of my chakras. Thank god for those Reiki healing classes I took at the YMCA. ❜

❛I just don’t understand this younger generation of witches anymore. I mean, if you’re not in a cemetery after midnight summoning the spirits of your dead ancestors to seek vengeance on your landlord for raising the rent, then what are you doing? ❜

[hauntingjasper]

How did Gumball and Marshall meet?

What did the two think of each other?

Most fan stories I've read show that they hated each other from their first interaction.

I love your version of this beautiful couple 💗💗

Ooooooo I was just thinking about their story together! I think I still have some tweaks to do with my own interpretation of them but I have some ideas.

I believe they met when The Candy Kingdom was giving its baby steps, maybe as a simple candy village or something, and Marshall Lee just stumbled across it one day. Marshall never did anything to actively harm it, but he didn't interact with anyone there, he was probably interested in something else, like the founde- I mean, the food there.

I think the candy citizens would be terrified seeing a dark shadow passing back and forth rapidly near their houses and stealing their candy, and he'd become some kind of boogeyman or the chupacabra to them lmfao (I like to think that some older candy citizens would still use his "legend" to scare the younger ones and make them behave)

They kinda start off on the wrong foot in this too, sorry anon 🙏 But it's just because Gumball now wants to catch this candy stealer and help his poor citizens have a peaceful night of sleep for once after weeks, and gets incredibly frustrated on the way. He finds a way, though. Either by setting a trap to catch Marshall Lee himself when he's shapeshifting, or by catching something else that unintentionally lures him... like a zombie cat who keeps showing up at the crime scene. (Or both too, I guess that works.)

Okay so now Marshall is mad (picture a small bat fuming that he has to be in a cage), his cat is mad, and Gumball is freaked out by the fact that there was a zombie cat wandering around his village and he didn't even realize it, potentially putting his citizens in risk of infection (Schwabelle wouldn't infect anyone tho, she's a good kitty), so now what? This nerd is going to study them, ofc. Especially Marshall Lee once Gumball finds out he's a vampire.

Vampires are practically extinct since Marshall Lee also became a vampire hunter in this universe, but I believe that the people who managed to survive their attack long enough also managed to leave behind records about them, stating their habits, their abilities and whatnot.

I know that, due to canon events, this would probably be out of character in insane levels but,, , I like to think that Gumball would be thrilled to have met Marshall simply because he's a vampire. He's read the records and would've liked to study more about the vampires (both out of interest and because he'd try to figure out the most effective ways to take them down but that's for another day-). The only reason he stayed was because Gumball offered him food and somewhere to stay during the day so he wouldn't burn to death, and because Gumball wouldn't give his cat back until he was sure she wasn't dangerous. If she was safe, he'd give her back and Marshall Lee could do whatever he wanted after they were done.

Marshall Lee would be thrown off by all that because first of all, stranger danger, and second of all, what the fuck.

Marshall Lee was more suspicious of Gumball than Gumball was of him. Gumball just kept asking questions about his vampirism and studying his physiology. Stuff like checking his abnormally low temperature and slow pulse, examining his shapeshifting, reading the records all over again and playing checklist to see how many different skills Marshall Lee could score... It was weirdly amusing for Marshall to see Gumball so fascinated over things that had become normal to him.

I think they would start bonding once they find out they're both immortal, and they'd cling to each other because of it. Gumball would listen to Marshall Lee's stories and Marshall Lee would listen to Gumball's. He was still a little weirdo to Marshall, but a weirdo who's passionate about his interests and managed to create living sentient people out of food, that was impressive. Gumball thought of him as one of a kind. No pun intended. Maybe.

I think that's all I have to say about them right now :P Thank you for the ask! 💖🫶

[thankyouforthev3n0m]

Aye, it's DubDaddy on the track

Not a rapper, but I thought I'd have a crack

Another song, another bar, another stack

We keep coming back now we're picking up the slack

Get laid, get paid, gatorade

Trigger treats sweet but can't beat the blade

It's Halloween bitch it's time to get made

You better lock up or you're gonna get slayed

Aye the boys are comin in

Got lit last night on the cherry gin

Smokin gas, eating ass, now committing sin

We going large like Amy Schumer's second chin

Hey everybody my name is JoshDub

When I don't do crime I talk shit at the club

I like corona no lime and having a tug

I get my bread no crust cause you know I'm a thug

It's Halloween, my girl cook and clean

Doing flips in the sheets, call that trick and treat

In the back of a Bentley and we got on rings

Riding in the streets shouting scary things

The Boys in town and we hunting clowns

Couple Kings with a couple crowns (dank memes)

Scaring kids while we're blowing clouds

It's Mully in the back and your bitch is getting ploughed

It's spooky and cold on this dreadful night

But we got some beauties in our sight

We love the shadows, and fear the light

But we'll steal your girl with one quick bite

On Halloween you can hear many sounds

Some screaming, some crying in the background

But if I see some kind of creepy clown

Oh you better believe it's going down

All the witches they be on me, with glee

When I walk up in a room its a party

Got no reflection but there's one thing you can see

All competition running scared as they should be

Never giving out our secrets I'm like (hush hush)

Wiping away all the haters like a (brush brush)

We be stealing all your candy in a (rush rush)

Dropping songs and videos that always (crush crush)

Got these demons in my head overwhelming me with fear and dread

(Dread dread dread)

Screaming in my bed, keep me grinding till I'm dead

(Dead dead dead)

Spirits in my mind come to visit me from time to time

(Time time time)

People say I'm sick but I swear to God I'm fine

(I'm fine, I'm fine)

Trick or Treat, excuse me what the fuck is this?

Candy corn, Bit O Honey, one Hershey Kiss

Que no sabes que me dicen el Mexorcist

If you don't know who I am, then I'll tell you what it is

Got a blanket to protect me and a wooden cross

I sprinkle holy water to show demons who's boss

I make videos to scare all the kiddos

And I'll exorcise your Tia with a bag of hot Cheetos

I shook Freddy Kruger's hand

Grow harder than the grudge

Make Pennywise float too

And give Huggy Wuggy a hug

I got good at hide and seek

You can always ask the fed

I put poison in your goat

Now that chupacabras dead

I live in the States, born in Monterey

Got a gringa by my side

She can cook some frijoles

I cross the border and la migra said

'hey, come on down but you just can't stay'

Running and hiding and walking and fighting

You don't got the papers to even be trying

To say it was easy then I would be lying

Soy un inmigrante con gran corazón

empeze recojiendo la bazura de tu escalon

Y ahora ocupo la pantallo de tu abitación

Asta parece yo tomo gasolina.

Te incendió con mi rap eso es pura adrenalina

Mi tierra la extraño nunca olvidare mi casa

Un saludo para todos mis latinos y mi raza

Now give me the Reeses cup bitch

Yada yada yada yada, something bout a square

New meme Juice Box bout to go Blair

Like the Witch, that's the sitch

Halloween night bout to wake up in a ditch.

And I'm stacking up dinero

Got this young man feeling like George Romero

Pick the bone clean always saw it in the tarots

Dig a little deeper boy you almost skipped the marrow

I don't really know

I don't really know

Yada yada

Yada yada

My goldfish took a little holiday

Left me feeling sour like that Minute Maid

One day he said he want to go to outer space

So I made a little rocket outta Gatorade bottles

Catch your grandma at the Walmart

And she gonna catch the fade

I don't really give a fuck

Im just tryna get paid

I'll smoke your grandad too

If he even looks my way

I'll kick your little sister

In her motherfucking face

That's that shit you learn in Florida

When you smoking K2

Hold that shit up in my chest

Boy I'm bout to turn blue

Im might mosey down to Target

Man and buy me that canoe

@jadest0ne

[blubushie]

Opinion on criptids? not including yeti, Yowie, bigfoot, or similar ape beings.

Aha! I'm talking about primates anyway.

Lucky you, cryptids are a former hyperfixation of mine. What else is a bored kid in the Outback supposed to do except obsessively read his book on cryptids and plot journeys to discover them?

Disclaimer: reason I'm not mentioning some obvious cryptids here (cough chupacabra cough) is because I'm not including cryptids that are likely misidentifications of other things (like how chupacabras are most likely coyotes and dogs with severe mange).

Listen, I've seen a yahoo. Maybe those yams went bad and I was just hallucinating. Maybe my childhood vivid visual hallucinations kicked back in for one evening. I don't know. All I'm saying is that I find it very interesting that practically every culture and continent on the planet has a story about large, hairy, ape-like beings that walk on two legs and have similar behaviours of reclusiveness, evasion of humans, piling things in their environment, knocking things like wood and stones, and chucking things at people who get too close. Also a lot of them supposedly pong quite a bit.

Almost like we had a distant ancestor that evolved and maybe spread around the globe some 300,000 years ago before humans even evolved...

Also Aboriginal Australians and Papuans have DNA from a, as of now, unknown human species. We have no idea what the fuck it is but it's presumed to be a situation similar to how European humans mated with Neanderthals (and eventually assimilated them into the human genome to the point of extinction). This coupled with so many mobs having stories about yahoos stealing away women in the night? I ain't saying nothing besides something's crook in Tallarook.

Anyway! If there's anything out there it's probably in the ocean. I'm keen to believe that maybe there's a freshwater plesiosaur somewhere in Loch Ness since plesiosaurs did travel from ocean to estuary to brackish water to freshwater and then out of the rivers back to the sea again. And with fully-freshwater plesiosaurs being likely, who's to say they didn't end up in the Loch? Well, science, since the Loch only formed by melting glaciers about 10,000 years ago and is completely landlocked, but fuck that we're talking cryptozoology! I think it's more than feasible that some juvenile plesiosaurs (much like crocodiles) survived the meteors and continued to reproduce... Just not in the Lock. I've been on the open ocean. I believe in sea monsters.

I'm fully convinced of the Blue Mountains panther because I've found the fucking tracks. No, dipstick I mentioned it to one time in person, big cat tracks look nothing like fucking dingo tracks.

Megalodons. Cliché, I know, but hear me out. A lot of people think that Megalodons pulled a colossal squid situation and went deep. I don't think so. See, Megalodons wouldn't have remained at a 15m size in the depths. There's too much pressure at deepwater, and the amount of food they'd need to maintain that level of mass without starving is much higher than the amount of food available at that depth. They'd need to feed so often that they'd defo be spotted because even colossal squid arise from the depths at night to feed, though they still remain pretty deep.

So deepwater? No. HOWEVER. However. A Greenland shark situation where Megalodon gradually evolved to maintain colder body temperatures and moved to the geographic poles to feed, remaining under the ice caps? More likely. Additionally the colder waters would mean that the Megalodon's metabolic rate would be incredibly slow to the point they'd only need to some up to the surface maybe once every six months to make a kill and then return, unpotted, to the darkness to digest. Now if only there were large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items big enough to sustain a 15m apex predator's nutritional needs in frigid waters. Oh, if only the Megalodon had specifically evolved to hunt these large, blubbery, calorie-rich prey items... Hmm...

There's something in Lake Champlain. There's been recorded echolocations of an unknown animal. Do I think it's a plesiosaur? No. Do I think it's a freshwater dolphin or other caetacean? Yes.

The thylacine still exists somewhere in Tasmania.

Aliens.

Other miscellaneous ones I think are real are:

British big cats. Escaped/released exotics, especially after the 1976 Dangerous Wild Animals Act. There was even a puma caught alive in 1980 near Cannich in Scotland. She was named Felicity after her capture. You can read more about her and other (Scottish) big cats here.

Eastern cougars, Puma concolor couguar, haven't kicked the bucket yet.

Queensland tiger is either a surviving small population of mainland thylacines or a bloody Thylocaleo population that survived to the modern day. (They also might just be tree kangaroos though--far more likely.)

Min-Min Lights (I've seen them)

Zanzibar leopard. This was a leopard subspecies that lived on Unguja Island in Zanzibar, Tanzania. They went extinct in the mid-1990s after a bounty program enforced by the government and due to habitat loss. A living leopard was recorded on camera in 2018, but scientists keep whinging about how it's probably just a feral African leopard that was introduced to Zanzibar. I pity the hopeless.

Malagasy hippo. Supposedly gone extinct ~1,000 years ago, the last known sighting was 1976.

Aliens (again)

Humanity's greatest sin is thinking ourselves so wise that nothing remains a mystery to us.

[lyzelky]

ask game!!! 4, 19 :)

hmmm, for 4 (Mythical creature you think is real) I would have to say that while I don’t necessarily believe that a mythical creature like a chupacabra is real in the evil cryptid way, I think it’s real in a “terrified person saw a big ass dog/wolf/coyote with mange” way.

also similar feelings towards creatures thought to be in the deep ocean/bodies of water, (like Nessie) the ocean is soooo fucking vast and uncharted that it would not surprise me that some prehistoric creatures were still fucking around down there (like Coelcecanths)

19: Most hated veggie!

I fuckin looooove vegetables, I don’t think there’s ones I really hate? I feel kind of ambivalent towards peas, turnips, and parsnips tho.

thanks for asking, beloved Goose of mine.

[detectivebambam]

3 4 10 13 15 for the latest ask game i must unearth trivial bambam lore

3. a color that gives you the ick

ORANGE I FUCKING HATE ORANGE

4. mythical creature you believe is real

i live in the PNW, so obviously Bigfoot. but I believe in most physical entities. so no ghosts, but demons and aliens and Chupacabra, etc. i believe in

10. on a plane, do you order orange or apple juice

i get like. cranberry juice with other flavors tbh cuz it makes me less nauseous

13. first thing you're doing in the purge

probably kidnapping my kids who have terrible parents because they'd be better off

15. rank the methods of death: freezing, drowning, burning

best would be burning because if you make it out alive, cool scars. if you don't, at least you're going out from the outside in

second best would be drowning bc idk. not as bad as freezing?

worst would be freezing because I'm absolutely terrified of hypothermia. the fact that you start hallucinating and imagining you're warmer than you are and taking your clothes off so you freeze faster? just absolutely awful

[seshrat]

"is my chupacabra (gets my goat)" from your tags is fucking genius actually and I WILL be inserting this into my vocabulary as a regular thank you!!

i think i stole it from a joke-formatted tumblr post YEARS ago (og i believe was "you know what really gets my goat? el chupacabra") and i just bastardized it into something i say on the reg with (usually) 0 context or explanation

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: The Misadventures of The Solars Episode #8: War of The Colossal Terry

One sunset day, Terry is putting in his orange t-shirt as he smiles. But then, the past traumatic experience back on Shlorp causes him to scream in horror again as he breathes in and out.

Terry: Fuck!

Terry breathes in and out as the sunsets.

Korvo: *offscreen* Terry?

Terry turns and around and sees Korvo feeding Lili.

Terry: Oh hey honey. I was just fixing myself up.

Korvo: Is everything alright, darling?

Terry: *looks at Lili and tickles her chin* Yeah.

Lili: *babbles*

Korvo: *looks concerned* Are you sure? You can tell me, Terry.

Terry: Oh… well… to be honest… I have been receiving terrible flashbacks of back on Shlorp. There was a Mundane, and a dead monster hanging and Jesse when she was a baby. I don’t know why I keep having it.

Korvo: Oh Terry...

Terry: *sighs* I just don’t how I keep having this. Maybe watching “Get Smart” alone in the new Manc Ave will clear my mind.

Korvo: Okay. *kisses Terry on the lips*

Korvo then puts Lili down in her crib as she falls asleep. Korvo then yawns and decided to take a nap.

Korvo: *yawns* Love my darling… *falls asleep*

Meanwhile with Terry...

Terry: *sighs* Hopefully this will clear my mind. *recives a text about an Earth-4 Chupacabra and groans* Stupid fable damn it! *gets out VHS and puts it in then gets out a bottle of Mountain Dew Baha Blast* Now, time to start the show?

Terry sighs as he starts playing a video tape, which he thought was “Get Smart” but it turns out to be footage from his trip from Las Vegas. Terry groans in frustration.

Terry: This isn’t “Get Smart”! What the hell? *sighs in frustration* Better fast forward through this.

The footage fast forwards and then it stops, where is shows the part when Terry was doing poker at the betting card game.

Terry: Whoa! I did that? I bet I had a blast.

Terry looks at the footage closely but then…

Terry: *on footage; takes a deep breath* Easy mode. This is just like in the solo. I call and raise you… *throws the ships keys* An actual spaceship!

Terry gasps.

Terry: Wh-what? *drops his bottle of Mountain Dew*

Terry: *on footage; after losing bet to woman* Holy fuck… well at least no one will ever see this.

A heartbeat is heard. Terry pauses the tape as he began to realize in horror what he has done.

Terry: Oh my God… what have I done…

Terry starts breathing heavily before screaming in rage

Terry: WHY THE FUCK DID I THAT?!

Terry gets onto his knees and repeatedly punches the ground

Terry: GRRRR! I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I DID THAT! NOW EVERYONE IS ON EARTH-4 BECAUSE OF ME!

Terry cries hysterically as his eyes turn orange

Terry: Oh God… I really fucked things big time…

Terry's fingertips turn black

Terry: *looks down at his fingertips and gasp in horror* Wha-what the fuck’s happening to me?!

Terry gets monstrous fangs as his skin turns black.

Terry: *screams in horror*

Terry grows bigger and muscular as he cries out in pain

Terry: *breathing and out as his growing body and his muscle growth causes his clothes to tear apart in pieces while looking at his hands* HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Terry roars in pain

Terry: *voice deepens as he breaks down in tears* Someone Help Me! *crying* Please… Anybody… Help me…

Terry roars as he finishes transforming and pants.

Monster Terry: *in his thoughts; repeating the last words he spoke* Someone Help Me! *crying* Please… Anybody… Help me…

Monster Terry roars and bangs his chest. He then looks at the city and smashes through the walls as he roars. The scene then cuts to the Replicants, Pupa and Replicant Sonya watching the news.

News Reporter: Breaking News Tonight! A huge black monster alien has just been spotting tonight while unknowingly wreaking havoc, such as cravings for meat, citizen attacks and very loud roars

Replicant Sonya: *recognizing the monster* Whoa! Look at Terry! He’s having a cow man!

Jesse gasps

Jesse: Oh no! Guys! We have to go find him!

The Shlorpian gang comes in.

Shlorpian Cheery: What is happening?!

Yumyulack: Why?

Shlropian Cooke: Because the news said there is a fucking monster on Earth-4!

Jesse: No! It’s okay! That’s Terry! We have to go help him!

Replicant Sonya: C'mon! Let's go!

The scene cuts to the woods where the gang (except for Korvo, he is not here in this scene) starts calling out for Terry.

Shlorpian Gang: Terry! Terry, where are you?! Terry?! Here Terry Terry Terry?! Where the fuck are you green ass! Oh good we miss you so much!

Human Jesse: Oh God, I hope he’s okay!

Shlorpian Nova: Man I hope so too!

A roar is heard

Human Yumyulack; Uh guys… di-did you hear that?!

Shlorpian Ms. Perez: I sure did and that doesn’t sound too good.

Another roar is heard. The gang starts back away in fear and caution backwards

Shlorpian Randall: O-okay no need to panic *loud footsteps are here* we just need too… *something appears behind him and his friends*

The gang turns around in fear and it turned out to be Monster Terry.

Shlorpian Gang: Oh shit! Whoa! *exclaims in horror* Oh!

Shlorpian Randall screams like a girl

Human Yumyulack: Oh my God! Terry, what the fuck have you done to yourself?!

Monster Terry roars and attacks the group

Shlorpian Randall: Oh fuck! I know what that means! We’re fucking lunch!

Shlorpian Trevor: Run guys run!

The Shlorpian gang runs for their lives as they head out of the woods with Monster Terry running after them like a savage animal. But then, Human Jesse trips on a rock and falls on her knee. Human Yumyulack gasps and runs up to his sister.

Human Yumyulack: Jesse!

Human Jesse: *sobbing*

Human Jesse cries in pain.

Shlorpian Sonya: Oh no! Sis! We have to get the out of here before-

Monster Terry finds the kids and snarls at them, which made Human Jesse sob harder.

Human Jesse: *tearfully* TERRY!

Monster Terry roars but then…

Human Jesse: *sobs harder* DADDY, STOP!

Monster Terry stops

Monster Terry: *murmuring upon seeing Human Jesse crying*

Monster Terry picks up Human Jesse

Monster Terry: *making soft noises upon seeing his daughter hurt*

Human Jesse: T-Terry?

Monster Terry purrs and looks at Human Jesse and wipes the tears off of her eyes with his hand. Monster Terry struggles to form words.

Replicant Sonya: Aw he miss us guys. But is he struggling to talk?

Human Yumyulack: Don’t know…

Monster Terry: J...J...Jesse?

Human Jesse: *gasp* Terry! *hugs her father while crying*

Monster Terry: It's okay, baby. I'm okay...

Then, Monster Terry sees brights lights and music.

Replicant Sonya: What is it daddy?

Monster Terry leaps up while carrying human Jesse and looks at a music performance happening at a Tiki restaurant.

Human Jesse: Uh guys, I think Terry has gotten interested to something.

Shlorpian Frankie: Well, we better follow him.

The gang made it and found Mundane Terry carrying Human Jesse. Then, they see a woman singing “Words get Stuck in my Throat”.

Shlorpian Cooke: Why in the hell would Terry come here?!

Shlorpian Randall: Beats me. But this is a catchy song?

[SINGER]

If my lips could only say the pretty words,

That I feel in my heart.

If my voice could make the sound,

I would tell you how I love you.

And we'd never be apart.

But with just one look into your face,

My mind starts to drift right into space.

And the words get stuck in my throat,

The words get stuck in my throat.

The words get stuck in my throat,

The words get stuck in my throat.

And every time I try to cough

I can't speak at all, because

The words get stuck in my throat,

The words get stuck in my throat.

The audience clap for the singer.

Human Yumyulack: Wow. She's good.

Singer: Thank you. *Mundane Terry creeps up from behind her* A thank you very much!

The audience sees Monster Terry and runs away screaming. The singer got confused but then sees Monster Terry and screams in horror as she falls into the ocean, much to Human Jesse’s dismay.

Human Jesse: Aw, I really like that song.

Monster Terry smiles at Human Jesse

Human Jesse: Terry, how did this happened to you? Were you bitten by an animal, infected by a gamma bomb, was there a fucked up lab accident or something?

Monster Terry sighs sadly

Monster Terry: Jesse, the truth is… I don’t know and…

Suddenly Monster Terry starts staring at a BBQ grill-size meat kabob, as he starts craving for meat like a savage animal.

Monster Terry: MEAT!

Human Jesse: What?!

Monster Terry roars and drops Human Jesse on the floor as he savagely devours the meat like a total animal as the Shlorpians grow horrified and disgusted by this.

Shlorpian Frankie: Use a fork, you animal!

Shlorpians: Aw ew. God Terry, that is nasty! Oh my God! That is so fucking gross! What the fuck?! You are not an animal! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Human Jesse: *sighs* Something's clearly wrong.

Meanwhile, Janiz hears Monster Terry and gasp. A few seconds later, Janiz, AISHA and EVA made it while Janiz finishes something and then sees Monster Terry curled up in a ball resting while the kids and Shlorpians stare at him.

Janiz: Terry?

EVA: What happened to him?

Then, a download is completed and then another purple AI assistant appears as he whoops.

MAX: WASSUP, PEOPLE!

AISHA and EVA: *overjoyed* MAX!

MAX: Hey, you two! Long time no see!

The three AIs then hi-five each other. Then, they turn to the Shlorpians with the kids. Human Jesse pets Monster Terry on the head

MAX: Whoa! More Shlorpians? Awesome! What’s up guys? The name’s MAX. I’m a prototype AI assistant! So nice to meet you all!

Shlorpian Randall: Nice to meet you too! I'm Randall and-

Shlorpian Frankie: And some us are formerly humans turn into Shlorpians by an unknown a psychopath and we have to live here because the humans despise us now!

MAX: Huh. Neat.

Then, Janiz sees Monster Terry and scans him.

Janiz: *gasps* Oh my. It's worse than I thought.

Human Jesse: What is it, Auntie Janiz?!

Janiz: Terry is a Mundane.

The gang and Human Jesse gasp as she looks closely at Terry, revealed to be half Mundane as the flashback flashes. The Mundane she saw when she was a baby was really Terry himself.

Human Jesse: Oh my God… that would explain Terry wasn’t here when the Mundane came when I was a baby. Terry is the Mundane!

Human Jesse starts weeping

Replicant Sonya: Jesse…

Human Yumyulack and Replicant Sonya hug their sister

Human Yumyulack: We’re so sorry sis… I guess Terry must’ve had in him this whole time…

Replicant Sonya: There there Jesse, we’re here for you.

Janiz sighs

Janiz: And I’m afraid I have some bad news. Terry inherited this form his side of the family. It’s lifesource. He needs to live and-

Korvo: *offscreen* Janiz?

The Shlorpians then gasp and hides Mundane Terry, so Korvo won’t see him. They secretly beg Janiz to not tell Korvo and she nods.

Korvo: Is everything alright? I heard about those monster attacks. Is everything okay?

Janiz: Don’t worry, everything is fine. The kids and Terry are probably safe back at home right now.

Korvo: Okay. I should go get dinner ready.

Janiz: Right. *gives Korvo a sisterly kiss on the cheek* See you later bro…

Korvo smiles and leaves. The Shlorpians sighs in relief as they watch Korvo leave while soothing Lili and heads inside the bus to head home. Mundane Terry wakes up as he yawns.

Human Jesse: Aw man, Korvo isn’t ready to know about Terry yet. Think about how he would react. We have to get Terry home before he loses his shit again.

Shlorpian Janice: H'no, I'm with you, y'know.

Shlorpian Cooke: That’s a good point! Because, remember there’s a chupacabra out there and-

Human Jesse: Wait what?!

Suddenly, the chupacabra appears and roars at the Shlorpians who gasp and screams they hide. Then, the chupacabra kidnaps Human Jesse as she screams. Mundane Terry hears him and gasp.

Mundane Terry: JESSE!

Mundane Terry roars and rushes up to save his daughter. The gang follows him and then the scene cuts to the chupacabra holding a screaming Human Jesse on top of the skyscraper.

Human Jesse: HELP!

Chupcabra: *roars*

Human Jesse: *screams in horror*

Mundane Terry: *offscreen* ROAR!

Human Jesse sees Mundane Terry and gasps

Human Jesse: *crying hysterically* Daddy! Help me!

Mundane Terry: LET GO OF MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!

Chupcabra: *roars*

The Chupacabra starts climbing up the building and made it the top while holding a screaming and crying Human Jesse. Mundane Terry goes papa wolf as he climbs up to the top and roars.

Human Jesse: *starts having a tearful panic attack*

Mundane Terry gasp and growls at the chupacabra as he suddenly uses some type of lava powers that burn the chupacabra as he falls to the ground. Mundane Terry then grabs Human Jesse is still having a meltdown.

Human Jesse: *cries* Terry...

Mundane Terry roars and lands as Human Jesse holds onto him and continues crying into his chest. Mundane Terry then looks at his daughter sobbing and gasp as he comforts her.

Mundane Terry: Sssh...it's okay, baby...

Human Jesse: *crying as Mundane Terry hold her close and leaps up to take them home*

The Shlorpians gasp and follows Terry secretly home along with Human Yumyulack, Human Pupa and Replicant Sonya. The scene then cuts to the Manc Ave where Mundane Terry is still soothing Human Jesse, who is traumatized over what happened today.

Mundane Terry: It’s okay Jessebear, daddy’s here. Shh… you’re home now.

Jesse turns back into her Shlorpian form and starts to feel safe in her father’s arms as she smiles.

Jesse: I love you.

Mundane Terry: *slowly starts turning back to normal* I love you too…

Mundane Terry turns back to normal as he sighs in relief

Terry: Thank God! I’m back! *looks down at his naked body and yelps* holy shit. *notices Jesse sleeping on him* Aw Jesse-bear.

Human Yumyulack: *offscreen* Terry! Jesse!

Human Yumyulack turns back into his Shlorpian form as he runs downstairs with Pupa, back to his Pupa form and Replicant Sonya as they sigh in relief.

Yumyulack: Thank God, you’re back!

Replicant Sonya: Aw man, we’re gonna have to wait to tell Korvo until it’s the right time.

Terry: You're right.

Jesse: Don’t worry. We’ll tell him until it’s ready. Come on guys, dinner is ready! Oh! But first clothes for Terry!

Terry: Right! Got it!

Terry puts in his clothes and the father and kids head up to dinner. The scene then cuts to Korvo waiting for his family and then sees them at the table as he smiles.

Korvo: *sighs* Thank goodness you are all here and just on time.

Terry and the Kids: Oh yeah. Definitely. What a day. Can’t wait to see what’s for dinner. Thank goodness.

Later during sexy, Korvo does something sexy with a sausage to seduce Terry.

Korvo: Oh Terry, *has some sausages* this beast is feeling hungry.

Korvo seductively licks the sausage while moaning.

Korvo: You think you can feed this fancy beautiful starving beast?

Terry: Oh-ho-ho! Okay!

Terry seductively pummels on Korvo, who turns into his Super Shlorpian form as he feeds him the sausage while Korvo sucks on the sausage like it's Terry's dick.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Mmm...

Terry: Oh yeah? You feeling so hungry right now?! Cause I love it! *moans lovingly*

Yumyulack: Ew.

Jesse: Let’s look away guys. Look away.

Super Shlorpian Korvo moans as he keeps licking and sucking on the sausage.

Terry: That’s right you hungry beast! Keep sucking on it! *moans lovingly* Tame that beautiful hunger of yours!

Super Shlorpian Korvo takes a bite out of the sausage and giggles

Terry: Now how does it feel now? Still hungry for more?

Super Shlorpian Korvo: The sausage was good but...

Super Shlorpian Korvo puts a hand on Terry's crotch

Terry: *moans in ecstasy*

Super Shlorpian Korvo: I think this got me more hungry for your love!

Terry: Then let's head upstairs...

Super Shlorpian Korvo grabs Terry in his rms bridal style and the two head upstairs as they sex away offscreen. The scene then cuts to Korvo, who is back to normal and Terry snuggling while Lili is heard cooing.

Korvo: Oh. That was amazing.

Terry: I know...

Korvo: *fiddles his fingers on Terry’s chest* Sure wish you had a beast within too and that would make things more exciting… but you are wonderful just the way you are… I love you.

Terry looks away sadly

Terry: Yeah… definitely…

Korvo sighs as he fall asleep

Korvo: Sweet dreams Terry bear… *kisses Terry on the cheek and falls asleep*

Terry starts gooblering

Terry: *gasp as he sweeps them away and sighs in relief*

Terry looks at Korvo and cries silently. The next morning, Human Jesse is at school until the Stacies show up.

Replicant Stacy H: Oh my Lard. Look at this loser girl. *Human Jesse however ignores them as she smirks*

We then see a drawing of Mundane Terry and Jesse hugging

Human Jesse: *to herself* Thanks for being there for me daddy… *puts the picture away in her locker and closes it*

THE END

[murdersinthemaking]

Finn had dealt with a lot of fucked up creatures in their lifetime; ghosts, fae, werewolves, chupacabras... but they almost always felt the most unsettled while dealing with demons. Not only were they notoriously heartless creatures, but it was a demon— more specifically a house entity— that ended up possessing Evelyn and stealing her away in the first place. If they didn't put up a proper emotional wall, it was very likely that any demons who knew about Evelyn would try to use that knowledge against her.

And the demon they were currently on their way to deal with, well... they had no doubt that he would pull every diabolical trick in the book to get their soul. This one went by the alias "Murdock", a demon that often collected the souls that his underlings stole through deals and schemes, but unfortunately Finn didn't know much about him beyond that. The little bit of information they had learned was through the exorcisms of particularly violent demons, and they would be lying if she said she believed a word that came out of their forked tongues.

Still, as they stood outside of the abandoned chapel, they clutched the tiny vial of holy water in one hand and their shotgun in the other tightly. They knew the bullets realistically wouldn't do much in the long run, but it would be a simple way to defend themself in case of an emergency.

- @lost-in-gardener

Enough had came back, tails between their legs to give him a hint of someone trying to find him. Skin burnt with holy water and trading information for healing and power to return. Almost all were cast down, the pitiful scraps they had not nearly enough. There were enough demons crawling to work anyways, so Murdock simply sent out more. Anyone able to knock down a few of his leading imps and even demons deserved an audience of some sorts. Offering his sigil was an idea, quickly thrown away in the fear that this new banisher decides to kill him.

A location was somewhat set, the little bastard choosing a chapel of all places. Of course they would, thinking that he would walk into it or forced in. Murdock rises out of the ground, dirt turning up and digging a lovely six foot deep hole. Smoothing over his pale red horns, scales catching on his hands as he tries to assure himself. Staying outside the chapel, just behind the iron fences separating the holy land, whether or not it could even count as such.

[bergoozter]

I'm late to the party because I've had no internet for a couple of months and now it's finally back so I've just watched all the episodes I missed, and I somehow forgot how much I love these people.

I should say though, I was not sure what I was going to think about MF because even though I enjoyed bfu tc at the time because of the dynamic, I'm not huge on true crime. BUT after watching all the mf eps+debrief I have to say I LOVE this choice they made because in fact they didn't just copy it and instead they made the best possible choice they could by focusing on interesting, usually fun and mostly victimless (rip the livestock in the chupacabra ep) mysteries and I'm so happy they did that!!!! Like they could've gone the same route again and it would've probably been ok but they decided to choose something more lighthearted and within their vibe (+kinda more ethical imo) and it's perfect!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 10/10 no notes

And most importantly :) FUCK RON DESANTIS

ahh so glad to have you back anon <33

and i FULLY agree w you !! i love that they’ve given themselves a much broader spectrum of potential topics w this show as opposed to the very narrow one they had w bfutc. i’m so glad they’re gonna keep topics lighter too! it’s already making eps more fun and enjoyable since they’re not discussing real people’s real tragedies while peppering in respectful jokes - which i believe they were always really good about but still it’s nice they won’t have to toe that line anymore.

i absolutely adored this season and can’t wait for more!

[thankyouforthev3n0m]

Aye, it's DubDaddy on the track

Not a rapper, but I thought I'd have a crack

Another song, another bar, another stack

We keep coming back now we're picking up the slack

Get laid, get paid, gatorade

Trigger treats sweet but can't beat the blade

It's Halloween bitch it's time to get made

You better lock up or you're gonna get slayed

Aye the boys are comin in

Got lit last night on the cherry gin

Smokin gas, eating ass, now committing sin

We going large like Amy Schumer's second chin

Hey everybody my name is JoshDub

When I don't do crime I talk shit at the club

I like corona no lime and having a tug

I get my bread no crust cause you know I'm a thug

It's Halloween, my girl cook and clean

Doing flips in the sheets, call that trick and treat

In the back of a Bentley and we got on rings

Riding in the streets shouting scary things

The Boys in town and we hunting clowns

Couple Kings with a couple crowns (dank memes)

Scaring kids while we're blowing clouds

It's Mully in the back and your bitch is getting ploughed

It's spooky and cold on this dreadful night

But we got some beauties in our sight

We love the shadows, and fear the light

But we'll steal your girl with one quick bite

On Halloween you can hear many sounds

Some screaming, some crying in the background

But if I see some kind of creepy clown

Oh you better believe it's going down

All the witches they be on me, with glee

When I walk up in a room its a party

Got no reflection but there's one thing you can see

All competition running scared as they should be

Never giving out our secrets I'm like (hush hush)

Wiping away all the haters like a (brush brush)

We be stealing all your candy in a (rush rush)

Dropping songs and videos that always (crush crush)

Got these demons in my head overwhelming me with fear and dread

(Dread dread dread)

Screaming in my bed, keep me grinding till I'm dead

(Dead dead dead)

Spirits in my mind come to visit me from time to time

(Time time time)

People say I'm sick but I swear to God I'm fine

(I'm fine, I'm fine)

Trick or Treat, excuse me what the fuck is this?

Candy corn, Bit O Honey, one Hershey Kiss

Que no sabes que me dicen el Mexorcist

If you don't know who I am, then I'll tell you what it is

Got a blanket to protect me and a wooden cross

I sprinkle holy water to show demons who's boss

I make videos to scare all the kiddos

And I'll exorcise your Tia with a bag of hot Cheetos

I shook Freddy Kruger's hand

Grow harder than the grudge

Make Pennywise float too

And give Huggy Wuggy a hug

I got good at hide and seek

You can always ask the fed

I put poison in your goat

Now that chupacabras dead

I live in the States, born in Monterey

Got a gringa by my side

She can cook some frijoles

I cross the border and la migra said

'hey, come on down but you just can't stay'

Running and hiding and walking and fighting

You don't got the papers to even be trying

To say it was easy then I would be lying

Soy un inmigrante con gran corazón

empeze recojiendo la bazura de tu escalon

Y ahora ocupo la pantallo de tu abitación

Asta parece yo tomo gasolina.

Te incendió con mi rap eso es pura adrenalina

Mi tierra la extraño nunca olvidare mi casa

Un saludo para todos mis latinos y mi raza

Now give me the Reeses cup bitch

Yada yada yada yada, something bout a square

New meme Juice Box bout to go Blair

Like the Witch, that's the sitch

Halloween night bout to wake up in a ditch.

And I'm stacking up dinero

Got this young man feeling like George Romero

Pick the bone clean always saw it in the tarots

Dig a little deeper boy you almost skipped the marrow

I don't really know

I don't really know

Yada yada

Yada yada

My goldfish took a little holiday

Left me feeling sour like that Minute Maid

One day he said he want to go to outer space

So I made a little rocket outta Gatorade bottles

Catch your grandma at the Walmart

And she gonna catch the fade

I don't really give a fuck

Im just tryna get paid

I'll smoke your grandad too

If he even looks my way

I'll kick your little sister

In her motherfucking face

That's that shit you learn in Florida

When you smoking K2

Hold that shit up in my chest

Boy I'm bout to turn blue

Im might mosey down to Target

Man and buy me that canoe