#but before that caitlin n i r making grace dinner to try to make up for david having to leave it will not b good but we r making raviolis | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

garlique · 4 years ago

Text

today seems like it is going to b a good spoons day i woke up went and got blood drawn and then got breakfast, got covid tested, AND got my flu shot all before 11. i think the new meds placebo hit today lmao

tw for panic attacks and alcohol in the tags!!

#of course tonight i will be DRINKING which is v exciting hehe #but literally i have ONE class meeting left it's at 2:30 i have one thing due for it that's like 80% done #and then the only thing i have to do for finals is prep for a 20 minute oral final exam and then edit my mus final based on the peer review #so YES i am getting blasted i have come up with a foolproof plan to get as drunk as possible without vomming again lol #every time i take a shot it will be a double except the other shot is gonna b lemonade #and i will simply measure the shots with my heart #and so i shall simply get absolutely blasted hehe #but before that caitlin n i r making grace dinner to try to make up for david having to leave it will not b good but we r making raviolis #so for that it is also good im having a good spoons day so i can cook plus i need to do the dishes before that so good spoons day VERY good #it's s weird because i had a debilitating panic attack last night like lasted for over an hour typa bad #on a whole other note i DID make the conscious decision to let grace like help me last night which i feel like weirdly ok about #i dont like asking for help when im in like Crisis crisis because i always feel bad and that is of course my mother's fault but i won't #get into that rn #and so every time i feel a panic attack/meltdown coming on in front of other people i try to immediately excuse myself #and last night i debated for like a minute between leaving and letting grace help me and i like did decide to let her help #which was probably for the best but that was also SUCH a bad one #like she saw me have one over my computer breaking but this was bad. i kinda wanna ask what it looked like from the outside lmao #SCREEM ok wait now i feel bad abt it because i just remembered IM supposed to be HER emotional support housemate rn lmao #anyway yea yea yea it's weird im doing so well today considering how bad i was doing last night #ive been bouncing back from things suspiciously quickly lately honestly. like am i like?? coping??? mmm anyway

1 note · View note