#but because my idea of peak romance is hannibal

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i think if i wrote and published a book id get semi-cancelled

[drlectertho]

Hello dearest Hannibal community,

Thanks to all the peeps who are still following me after like 10ish years of more or less complete inactivity on here.

I did have a lil‘ peak now and then, looked at old posts of mine and reblogged some that didn’t feel all too cringe. Also scrolled through my feed and hannibal tags and found that actually not all too much has changed in this fandom - same humour, same love for the show, same insanity, same kind of lovely people… heck, some of you veterans from back in the day are STILL active! I very much applaud your committment! 👏🏻

I‘m actually writing this post because I thought I‘d give an update on what‘s been going on in my life in hopes that some of you also comment a wee update about themselves or make a post and tag me (and others from the community) 🫶🏻

I‘ll try and make this not too long (Spoiler: it got longer than expected):

Basically, Hannibal (@nbchannibal) fundamentally influenced the trajectory of my life.

I went to med school because of that show and got my medical degree few years ago. Never in my life thought about becoming a medical doctor until I watched Hannibal, more specifally after watching Season 3.

I‘ve always been fascinated by sciences, human anatomy, forensics, horror, the dark and obscure. But also loved arts and creative work, and for the longest time I’d wanted to make that my profession. I was planning on studying Digital Animation right up until I finished my last year of high school. At this point, I didn‘t really have a portfolio for uni application and was doubting my creative skills/potential.

When Season 3 of Hannibal aired, I‘d watched it 2 times in a row and then rewatched Hannibal all together (since have rewatched the whole series again about 3 times). I realized that I didn’t solely love the show because of the (b)romances, its story and its goriness, but because of the psychological and medical aspects of it. Really, really loved the „sassy forensics team“ and their work (even though it was very fantastical at times and surely not the most realistic portayal of forensic medicine). Suddenly, I had the epiphany of becoming a forensic pathologist. Silly me didn‘t know that meant that I’d have to do 6 years of medical school, get a medical degree and then do another 6 years of residency in forensic medicine. But applied for medical school anyways, passed the „big“ entrance test and sure enough, I fell in love with medicine.

My dream of forensic medicine was pretty much crushed right away, since I was told that there were only few residency options in the city where lived (and wanted to continue to live) and hardly ever any open positions in this niche specialty. Also job market was rather saturated - and still is.

Did a pathology internship during uni and found it very intrigueing but couldn‘t really cope with the smells, even though seeing, touching and cutting (recently) deceased bodies was no trouble at all. I then thought, maybe forensics would‘nt have worked for me anyways and abandoned the idea completely.

Last year of medical school I did an internship in psychiatry, enjoyed it, apparently did well enough and was encourage by my attending to pursue a career in that feeld. Before that internship I had again recently rewatched Hannibal, and rather unknowingly paid closer attention to the psychiatrists and psychologists portrayed in that show. Hereby became more and more fascinated by the subject of mental health and mental disorders. I was aware, however, that most psychiatrists in Hannibal almost exclusively performed some form of psychotherapy and hardly any clinical/medical psychiatry was shown.

Ultimately, I got a job at the very same psychiatric clinic I did the internship at and am still doing my residency there. I like my specialty very much, love and care for my patients deeply, and my work definitely gives me some sense of purpose. Do I feel completely fulfilled? No. But who really is, am I right?

As of late, I‘ve been entertaining the idea of forensic medicine again and changing my current specialty. I guess, I have not been able to let it go completely after all…

Anyways, did Hannibal affect your life also in some or great way as it did mine? If so, I‘d be curious to hear your stories! :)

Thanks and best wishes to those who read the whole thing or even just a small part of it. ❤️

- M.

[veliseraptor]

Rating Rand/Forsaken Ships

A Completely Impartial and Unbiased Guide

Rand/Aginor

Troubling! Very troubling. Don’t like that. However, I suppose it does have the homoerotic potential of Aginor being the first Forsaken Rand kills...? So there’s that, I suppose.

Rating: 1/10 for a pity point

Rand/Aran’gar

Aran’gar was a bad idea and I prefer to think about her as little as possible, so I’m just gonna slide right on by here and not linger.

Rating: no thanks/10

Rand/Asmodean

The original! I mean, sort of. I’m pretty sure if I did a count of Rand/Forsaken pairings this would be the most popular, which, makes sense. We Were Robbed by only having glimpses of the Rand and Asmodean relationship for one book.

While it doesn’t have quite the spicy rivals-to-enemies-to-enemies-but-fucking-maybe energy as some of the other ones on this list, it’s popular for a reason and has the benefit of canon plausibility since they’re in the same place at the same time for a somewhat extended period, sharing a tent and everything.

Rating:  10/10, point docked because there’s less personal millennia old baggage, which I like in a Rand/Forsaken pairing personally; point added again for this one actually being more about Rand than Lews Therin Telamon

Rand/Be’lal

I feel like I didn’t get to know Be’lal very well before he was summarily annihilated by Moiraine shortly after we first saw him in the flesh. He’s one of the “jealous of Lews Therin” crowd, but not as much of a stand out as the other two I think of in that category. Gets some sexy points for being a schemer but ultimately his rapid obliteration means that this pairing never gets off the ground.

Rating:  2/10

Rand/Balthamel

I’ve got nothing.

Rating:  0/10

Rand/Demandred

I feel like Rand/Demandred has really strong “you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid” vibes. I mean, mostly it’s transferred directly from Lews Therin Telamon to Rand by way of reincarnation but that kind of just makes it funnier. “You want to fuck a guy who’s been dead for a few thousand years so bad it makes you look stupid.”

On the other hand, that’s the stuff of legends, right there. Prime shipping material. And we know Rand specifically finds evil men sexy, so there’s that.

Promising, but almost too obvious.

Rating: 8/10

Rand/Graendal 

Had not considered this before but there’s so much good awful therapist “I could make him worse” potential here that shouldn’t be overlooked, so I’m reconsidering some of my previous thoughts. The mindfuckery you could get here! The psychological, Hannibal-esque experience! Exquisite.

Rating: 7/10

Rand/Ishamael

Fellas is it gay--

No but seriously!! Demandred wishes he could be on this level. As I said in the tags of that post: age spanning eternal enmity is very gay and truly Ishamael is doing the most where it’s not just “I am envious of this one specific man” and more “we are souls eternally destined to battle each other until the universe ceases to exist” which is absolutely ~peak romance.~

Rating: 9/10, point only deducted because Rand spends the duration of their acquaintance believing he’s the actual Dark One

Rand/Lanfear

I mean...look, it’s okay? But it doesn’t thrill me, or anything. It’s pretty much your bog standard “jealous evil woman ‘if I can’t have him no one will’” set up and that’s just not that interesting to me! Her sexiest moment is for sure when she’s torturing Rand immediately prior to Moiraine football-tackling her into an alternate universe, though, so I feel like she gets some points for that.

I feel like someone probably could make this one interesting to me if they tried, though, so I’ll give it a little bit of credit.

Rating:  6/10 for the torture and also canonicity, I guess

Rand/M’Hael 

Again feel like this one has the energy Demandred wishes he had but didn’t get because he wasn’t on page, probably at least partly because Taimandred (though I personally am sort of fond of Taim as his own character). And this dynamic? Spicy. Particularly where it comes during Rand’s gradual descent into peak human disaster territory.

Personally I’m probably more of a Taim/Logain kind of gal but there’s plenty of opportunities here for excellent hatefucking, and the advantage of regular proximity.

Rating: 9/10

Rand/Mesaana

I actually forgot about Mesaana completely when I was first writing this post, which I feel kind of bad about, but also, I mean - Mesaana, we barely knew ye. She spent all her time fucking around in the White Tower, so we don’t get a lot of interaction there. I think if I were to have a main character pairing with Mesaana it would be Egwene/Mesaana, which I thought about just now and I feel has potential.

Maybe it’s just that I get gay vibes off Mesaana and can’t conceptualize her being interested in a man. She’s def not Rand’s type.

Rating: 0/10

Rand/Moghedien 

Moghedien is too busy obsessing over Nynaeve and then living her kinky master/slave fantasies to have time for the Dragon Reborn. Honestly have to agree that if Nynaeve was the Dragon like the show was teasing for a minute there she would fight Lanfear for her.

Rating:  0/10

Rand/Moridin

Recognize I may be biased here but this potentially has even more potential than Rand/Ishamael given that this is the same obsession-fueled tied-together-by-fate relationship but with less of the “driven insane by millennia of semi-confinement” tripping up the latter. 

Look, as I said above, being convinced that you’re trapped in a spiral leading to the inevitable destruction of everything is the ideal foundation for a relationship. You can’t tell me I’m wrong.

Also I guess the inherent homoeroticism of swapping bodies with your sworn enemy, or something like that.

Rating:  10/10

Rand/Osan’gar

You know, funnily enough I feel like this actually has a certain amount of potential, given the amount of time he spends around Rand, and dedicating a fair amount of energy to keeping him alive, too. Osan’gar isn’t interesting enough for me to be really sold on it, but there’s potential, anyway, so I’ll give it some points for that.

Rating:  2/10

Rand/Rahvin 

Rahvin is too heterosexual for this and I mean that in the worst way possible.

Rating:  0/10

Rand/Sammael 

This has some of the same appeal as Rand/Demandred but strikes me as a lot funnier for some reason, maybe because I have a hard time taking Sammael very seriously. I think it’s the feeling I get that while Demandred and Lews Therin had some kind of a relationship Sammael’s enmity was sort of one-sided. You know, one of those things where there’s a deep and intense rivalry that only one party knows about.

On the other hand the number of direct murder attempts is a pretty solid argument in favor here. And there is something to be said for “I ship it because it’s kind of hilarious.”

Rating:  6/10

Rand/Semirhage

You know, I love Semirhage deeply for some fucking reason and it seems like there should be potential here given what she does to Rand (several squares on the Forsaken Kink Bingo Board), but I think my problem is that Semirhage in my head is just too much of a lesbian to be into it.

Yes, that is problematic; I stand by it.

Rating:  3/10, because the kink bingo shit does deserve some credit

[empathyeatings]

   CRIMSON MOVES ME. CRIMSON MAKES MY HEART BEAT LIKE AN ADOLESCENT’S.

   This seemed uttered almost distractedly; a focus on the air before him rather than the red mass just beyond. Will’s artistic flair was unconventional in its apparition, its coalescence, and Hannibal had come to feed upon it. This time he’d elected to sit back, busy himself with observations and a small, blank sketch pad, and record the triumph and installation at work.

   His own rendition of the scene, as Will worked to unfold it, could never match the realistic beauty. But he worked his pencil into it with life, attentively capturing every movement.

        “Would that I could live vicariously through you, Will.”

   He spoke not of the blood upon hands, the red wash of coppery smell, the clean line of sight as a heart slowed its pumping. He spoke of the opposite.

   Heartbeats. How many times had he watched, inward and outward, a heartbeat slow to a stop? How many times had he expected his own to speed in reaction, in exhilaration? How many times, since the fear had thrummed through him that final time (in that stand of trees, his sister’s flesh stuck on the insides of his throat, his own life undoubtedly coming closer to its end with every breath), had he hoped against all hope that the next struggle, the next kill, would inspire his own heart to beat as though it lived? But time and again his own body fought to continue, wounded, or the knife buried to its hilt in a deserving throat.. his heart remained steadfast.

   It only ever came close in Will’s proximity, but still, it was not the same. He could not remember the sensation of a racing heart.

             “Will you describe it to me?”

there is a rendition of their fortune before them, swept up in fell dynamic by the grasp of date oils and the taught scream of canvas. so deep these colors move him, and so deep he feels the need to voice it and grant it escape. because it weighs heavy on his heart that this is the peak of human creation and he is bereft of any sense to ground himself within it. therein comes a rhapsody, as, though this all sounds clumse, it is the rapture that numbs him rather than a critique of distaste. 

and breathing steady, the slow incline of his eyes stroll along the edge of the painting’s dimension. he fears if he moves to much, says too much, thinks too much, it will cease to exist. as if he has lured something in only to shy it away into the dark waters. these men who bend and bare before him are drenched in a heat of fever and flux and will wade into nothing as if his existence has introduced a second liquid state that does not permit them to remain.

hannibal has had such a profound effect on what he sees here today, never before would he walk through echoing halls of sculptured, beautiful men and fallen monuments to the greatest and feel touched. they now look back, finally, and he can understand what art is. for he has seen it live and breathe before him, in the smooth and angular curvature of a gilded three-piece, and be brought to life by every stroke of graphite, bleeding shade into one another like plumes of a hungry mind on paper.

immortalized on something that can be set fire to so easily by the hands of a man who plays god...it is quite the lapsing feeling of remembrance and of melancholic sobering. it is a loud silence to be shown yourself through the eyes of another. a mnemonic uprising that they are tangible and temporary, they are volatile and bound to flights of catalyst and compulsion, driving always, towards cataclysmic ends.

such honest and tender a reply grants the birth of a smile so soft it contends with what mona lisa knows, livening the jaded mist that had come to settle on vision clouded by ardent whimsy. it only ever takes one statement: hannibal could bring him to tears beneath one look, beneath one word, beneath one sword. they are effortless in the presence of their binding, red string wraps around their feet and tethers their palms to one another. 

only then upon request would his eyes liven. he searches for words, picks them carefully as the other does. will graham is romanced by the idea of introducing his companion to what a century-old revolutionary of the heart has dared to show his mind. of wilting gardens and chalk houses, a splendid sun basks a balmy exhale over his skin and he tilts his head up and to the side, receiving it. his are eyes shut, wholesome. 

something that ignites the will of his veins and something he dominates. knowing hannibal to have no concept of personal civilization beyond the chemical spurs the arousal of disrobing him to his own. they share an awakening and this provides victual but it does not satiate him, rampant to gorge on the unfettered and unblossomed areas of hannibal’s soul. he seeks out a second home to place himself within, with hope of collecting everything that spills and runs.

     ‘ i feel as if i’ve swallowed the rumble of thunder. and opened up heaven beneath my rib-cage. lightning...seems to strike behind my larynx and...crawl across every bronchial. branch and expire into my lungs. it’s fast. it mimics my inner anatomy as if an electric current has duplicated my form and suspended itself somewhere between my bones and my skin. only once. it’s...it’s almost a surreal revelation. that i’m feeling my soul respond — and so vividly. my soul...quivers like a last breath. ’

[fyrapartnersearch]

Looking for new partners <3

Hi there! I am a literate 20 year old roleplayer looking for a long term partner (18+)! I write paragraph responses and will do my best to match your length as well :) I am pretty flexible and open to any ideas you have. I really want to do a RP that we both love.  I have a few ideas. Feel free to contact me if you want something of a similar vibe that is not on here! I play my female OC in all of these, and the character listed is who I am looking for: 

Fandom

Loki - my character is a witch who worships the old gods and has taken a particular interest in Loki. What if they have a relationship in which the lines are kind of blurred– my character isn’t sure he truly exists because he visits her in the odd hours of night and only sees glimpses of him during the day. I’m also thinking about a plot where he chooses her to be his wife before their first meeting. I was inspired by the Marie Antoinette movie for that one. 

Tony Stark - my character could appear to be the type that everyone expects Tony Stark to date, a much younger sugar baby. But she’s not a sugar baby, and she actually really loves him. 

Bucky Barnes - I’m feeling the classic good girl/bad boy trope with him and my character. we could even take it further to become villain and sidekick ;) 

Hobbits - I’m really feeling a cute cottagecore RP where my character falls into Middle Earth Alice in Wonderland style and a hobbit(s) takes care of her, 

Captain Kirk, Bones, or Scotty from Star Trek

Negan from the Walking Dead 

Hannibal or Will from NBC Hannibal - my character is Hannibal’s patient… which makes for complicated relationships. I’m dying for this one. 

OC X OC

Artist and the muse - your character is an artist (painter, photographer, fashion designer?) and feels a spiritual connection to my character. 

Gothic romance - your character is a mysterious debonair man who sweeps my character off her feet to a Victorian mansion with stained glass and old paintings in the countryside. Maybe he has a dark secret of some sort? Think Crimson Peak 

God and witch/priestess - my character is chosen to be high priestess for your character’s ancient cult 

The Mummy inspired - your character is an archaeologist who falls for a mysterious Egyptian dancer 

Wonderland - my character falls into a world Alice in Wonderland style. We could have fun with world building on this one. Is your character a dark elf? Evil king? a sweet gnome? 

I’m up for fleshing out new ideas or any other ideas you may have! let me know. You can find me on discord and email. discord: missbelladonna#2770 email: belladonnawitchcraft@gmail.com