#but because I obsessed so much over it I didn't I was quite attractive until I was in my late 20s

[hussyknee]

Thinking about how so much of what we call beautiful and attractive is just proximity to white European features and figures. I think a decolonized understanding of beauty necessarily wouldnt allow for any universal standards. Ideally, there should be no premium put on attractiveness. Failing that, however, it would be real nice if whatever arbitrates the concept of beauty didn't involve simply hating your racial and ethnic origins.

I'm not particularly evolved in that area myself. I still find fair skin, light eyes, slim figures and sharp features much more appealing. However, I do find stick thin white women unattractive as hell. For now, as a proud South Asian woman with child-bearing hips, I call that praxis.

[rimatsu]

obsessed with baby queer buck and the hang-ups he probably doesn't even realize he has, let alone acknowledge.. newly realized bisexual evan buckley who didn't stop once to consider long-term commitment to a man he dated for 6 months as a viable option until josh spelled it out for him. and we've seen buck navigate romantic relationships before. he didn't do things by half-measure or shy away from grandiose declarations with abby or taylor. he knew he loved them without the need for an outsider's perspective. i don't think the cautiousness displayed in 806 was linked to tommy as an individual/lover so much as it was about building a life with a man — still a foreign concept, still a bit alien. not something buck could really envision for himself and by himself, unprompted (just like he remained unaware of his attraction to men until he was made to confront it with a kiss). that moment of hesitation wasn't because he was unattached to tommy or their relationship, quite the opposite according to the follow-up questions: if buck wasn't in love already, he was at least willing to be. yeah, he needed a little nudge from josh to reassess his feelings, to jump over that last barrier, but the very moment things clicked in his mind, buck was ready to cement their relationship, ready to wholeheartedly pursue a future with tommy, serious enough that he brought up the possibility of marriage someday (another first! not just first potential husband, but first potential spouse ever!!) — because buck doesn't see much value in waiting once he figures out what he wants.

[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.

Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL

A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷

HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂

Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.

But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.

I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL

He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.

Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.

And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.

I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.

As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.

Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.

Thank you!!!

They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.

I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"

HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.

That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.

For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.

THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂

Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.

He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.

He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.

[sandy-the-glader]

Is That Me?

Character: Adrian Chase x Gn!Reader

Type: Fluff

Length: Drabble (500 words)

Summary: All month you have been ranting to your best friend about your celebrity crush and Adrian gets a little jealous. Little does he know that the face is quite familiar.

Trope: established relationship

A/N: Since Peacemaker confirmed that a lot of celebrities exist in the DC universe I thought this was adorable. Also, I saw someone do this with a different celebrity a long time ago so credit to them! Hope this will tie you guys over until I finish the requests since they are taking longer than I thought they would.

"Who is he?" Adrian stood in the doorway of your guy's shared bedroom with folded arms and a concerned look on his face. You looked up from your phone with a confused look.

"Who are you talking about?" You sat up on the bed with your phone in front of you. Adrian sighed heavily

"You know who. The dude you've been talking about non-stop." You couldn't help the smile that broke out on your face. You had been ranting to your best friend over the phone for weeks about this really handsome actor you came across recently because he looked exactly like your boyfriend.

A giggle bubbled up inside you and you started to laugh hard. You couldn't keep hiding the celebrity from Adrian.

"What's so funny?" He frowned at my reply. You almost felt bad but once he realized who it was he would feel much better.

"Are you jealous Adrian?"

"Gonna be honest yes I am a little bit! Who is he?" He came closer to me making me look up at him. Seeing him jealous was honestly really attractive.

"Do you really want to know?" You teased trying to keep pulling a reaction out of him.

"Yes." He whined. You unlocked your phone and typed up the actor you had been obsessing over. You hesitated to show him because the joke was really enjoyable. But you finally flipped over the phone to him and showed him.

At first, he squinted and adjusted his glasses to see the man better. Then his face morphed into confusion and shock.

"Is this me?" He exclaimed scrolling through the images that popped up of him. "He's me but blonde?" He looked so startled.

"No! Freddie Stroma." You giggled. Adrian sat down on the bed absolutely starstruck by the information of him having a look alike.

"Oh my god, I was in Harry Potter." He muttered. You continued to smile and laugh at his reaction. "Are you sure this isn't me? Did you like photoshop my face on some random guy's body?"

"I definitely did not." You watched his face morph into so many emotions. Curiosity, confusion, and some sort of happiness.

"So this whole time you've been obsessing over a guy that looks like me?" He still continued to scroll and look at everything he's done. You nodded a couple of times. "But I'm right here." He shrugged his shoulders. Adrian narrowed his eyes at the screen still flabbergasted by the whole situation.

"But do you have a hot British accent?" you joked.

"Yes. I do now!" He put on a fake voice making you kiss his cheek.

"I just wanted to see how you would react baby." You hummed hugging him from the side. "And now there's an actor that looks like my boyfriend," You repeated to kiss him on his cheek making his face go all warm.

"Please don't say you're going to leave me for actor me." He turned his head and had a look of genuine fear in his eyes for a minute before you cupped them and told him no.

"No honey I'm not going anywhere." He leaned in to capture your lips in a heartfelt kiss that made your heartbeat quicken. You didn't need a celebrity that looked like your boyfriend because you already had him in your arms.

"Are you still jealous?" you joked making him smile.

"Defiantly not because it's me." He smiled like a dork. You were happy to have your love in your life. "I guess I'm an actor now." You shook your head.

"Nah my boyfriend is the badass Vigilante."

[momentomori24]

Surprisingly, hearing Vox and Val technically (I love how technically needed to be added) aren't dating didn't upset me as much as I thought it would. It did... for like a minute until I thought about how painfully much it fits them.

Val throws tantrums and is ready go out and kill people to let off steam, but decides to stay put in his room and sulk instead while he waits for his flat-faced prince to come and comfort him before he does anything drastic. He's killed and abused people for the slightest hint of non-compliance, which he sees as giving him an attitude or questioning his authority, but he doesn't so much as flinch when Vox raises his voice and starts shaking him in frustration more than once. He doesn't lash out or get angry when Vox tries to talk him out of marching towards the hotel, but instead listens to his points and takes his words to heart even when they weren't what he wanted to hear. He's not interested in Alastor, but is willing to sit through watching the extermination broadcast because Vox is a passionate football dad about his one-sided rival getting dunked on. He doesn't even act jealous towards Vox's obsession, just weirdly amused and supportive even tho he hates not being the center of attention any other times. And then there's Vox, who acts like he's annoyed to have to put up with Valentino but still does it anyway. He acts disinterested about Val's ranting over Angel until he hears that Angel might've quit because he's an jealous, insecure loser that wants that mf's attention to himself. He lights his cigarette and decides to call up their lowest earners for him to terrorize without being asked just to lighten his mood a little (unrelated but i feel for their employees). He keeps his eyes on him both in his room and when he's at the pub through the cameras he's got everywhere. He takes his hand like one would with a princess and smiles fondly at him before disappearing when noticing they're being watched. He's the only person that Val trusts enough to calm him down when his temper gets the better of him. And Val-- despite his volatile temper and obnoxious quirks-- is someone he respects and cares about, both as his business associate and romantic partner.

And they aren't dating. Val and Vox clearly have a connection and understanding and attraction yet are unable to confront those feelings in fear of being vulnerable. So they aren't dating. Val obsesses over Angel and Vox obsesses over Alastor to distract themselves of the other only to fall back into each other's arms at the end of the day. Even tho they aren't dating. They celebrate, dance, sing, support and shamelessly make out with each other. They're the only ones that would put up with each other's bullshit no matter what-- but for some reason, they're still not dating. They are two of the worst Overlords in Hell, capable of committing so many despicable acts and jumping to immoral tactics for their own gain without any regrets, but opening that door into genuine emotional vulnerability? Acknowledging their softness for each other? That's where they draw the line. They're clearly made for each other, but neither of them dare to step over that line to commit to something more.

Which means that we could get to actually see these changes take place. We could get to see more sides to these two we still haven't seen before. We could get to see them actually start dating and the complicated journey it took to get there. We could get to scream and kick and seeth as these two morons continue to dance around admitting their very much requited romantic feelings for every stupid reason under the sun episode after episode. We could get to see these two fix each other and make each other worse simultaneously. Mostly make each other worse. We could get to see them have a romantic duet. We could get to see them be happy together-- officially together-- while they make life worse for everyone around them.

All this mumbo-jumbo, sleep-deprived ranting will likely not happen, but the potential character growth, the dynamic development, the resolved romantic tension, the SONGS we could get??? I'm clinging onto this hope for dear life until it's ripped from my cold, dead hands.

[celestiababie]

svt reaction to accidentally overstimulating you until you squirt

love ur stuff btw!

A/N: I'm going to assume that you meant this for svt since I pretty much only write for them at this point. If not, please send another specifying who it was for and I'll redo it. I didn't really edit this, so I'm sorry if it's shit. ANYWAYS, I hope you enjoy it!!! Feedback is appreciated!

Seungcheol: He'd instantly want to make you squirt again, but you'd make sure you had a breather before how tries again. Lowkey becomes obsessed with pushing you to your limits.

"Fuck Y/n, you're making such a mess for me, baby."

Jeonghan: Honestly, it would surprise him more than he'd care to admit. He was just focused on finger fucking you and didn't think he was doing anything extraordinary, but similar to Seungcheol...he'd want to see if you could do it again. Might become a menace in the process.

"You can do it again, right, angel? C'mon, give it to me." Ugh I can see the smirk on his face already.

Joshua: He'd honestly take a moment to process what just happened but would be so sweet if you got embarrassed because of what happened. He'd ask if it was too much and offer to change the sheets for you while you take a bath. But don't be fooled by his sweet response because he'd definitely bring it up again in innuendos and tease you for it in the future.

Jun: He isn't quite sure how it happened, but he seems like the kind of guy that would be into it already? But he just wouldn't mention it to you or try anything in particular to get you to squirt. But now that he knows it's possible...he'd ask to see if he can make you do it again.

Soonyoung: Gets really giddy over what just happened. So much so that he doesn't fully realize how spent you are and once he calms down a bit, he'd be rushing to give you the best aftercare in the entire world. Would be cuddling you and then all of a sudden ask you questions about it.

"Did you feel good?"

"It felt good, right?"

"We can do it again if you want."

Wonwoo: This man already researched and has the knowledge stored away in his brain somewhere. But, he would never intentionally try, he was just so lost in the look on your face and how much you were moaning that he wouldn't realize he was subconsciously doing those things he read about. If you were confused or embarrassed, he'd give you a brief (unnecessary) explanation as to why that happened. He'd be really into it and want to see if all the other methods he read about worked just as well.

Jihoon: Will write a song about wanting to drown in your love with the most innuendos you've ever seen. I'm kidding, mostly. No but in all seriousness, it would trigger a cockiness in him that would be so fucking attractive. Ugh whenever he felt like getting an ego boost from now on he'd just roll up his sleeves and finger fuck you until you're screaming his name and drenching his fingers.

Dokyeom: I see him as someone who's normally sweet and very intimate during bed so he would be so entranced in the feeling that he wouldn't realize he was overstimulating you until he felt an unfamiliar pressure around his cock that would force him to pull out and thus causing you to squirt. Man would be silent, wide eyed in SHOCK, but still so turned on and desperate to cum for you that he'd ask if you wanted to keep going.

Mingyu: He's very eager to please and often gets lost in the undeniably incredible feeling of making his favorite person feel good so I'm not surprised he overstimulates you fairly often. But when he makes you squirt for the first time, it would trigger the curious experimentalist in him. After you fall asleep (after much needed aftercare) he would be on his phone all night to look up more ways to make you squirt and tell you all about his findings in the morning with the most excited look on his face.

Minghao: I think he's very in tune with his body as well as his lover's body so I find it surprising if he accidentally overstimulated you...he's too aware for that...but he would caress your body after making you squirt, trying to calm your body and bring you back down to earth with him. He'd give you all the time you needed to stop shaking from the aftershocks of pleasure, whispering loving and soothing words throughout the entire time. I feel like he'd really be into observing what his partner looks like when they cum and after they cum.

Seungkwan: Tries to be nonchalant and act like what just happened didn't boost his ego massively but you could see him literally grinning to himself as he cleaned the sheets. Will definitely want to make you do it again another time but is slightly nervous he just got very lucky and won't be able to move his fingers the same way.

Vernon: "Oh wow." That's it. Kidding (not really) This man would be so frozen just staring at the mess while you tried to calm down. You'd finally noticed him staring and if you started apologizing it would immediately break him out of whatever spell he was under and he'd reassure you that he found it hot...like really hot. Kind of a new fetish for him.

Chan: Becomes an annoying menace who thinks he's a sex god, but it's okay because he's really hot when he's confident and feeling himself. Would tease you for it in the future and probably bring it up when you're being intimate.

"Wait, should we lay down a towel? You made such a mess last time, babe."

A fairly reasonable question, but the smirk he'd have on his face would reveal his true intentions.

[enden-agolor]

Now a question about YOU 🫵 Yeah that's right, jk jk no pressure, when you and Andy were just friends, did you ever questioned your sexuality or it never crossed your mind about your attraction to the opposite/same gender.

Genuinely guessing from what you spoke of (i think you wouldn't care what their gender are) , you never received affection because of your situation in the past, so you probably get confused on what that feeling (attraction) was at first because you haven't experienced it, your story was of a painful long slowburn (probably lots of pining) yet bloomed into a beautiful relationship and filled with love and care.

Honestly, I'm smiling so much from your old post on how you fell for your bf, realizing your feelings because it was the first ever affection you've felt in years, he was the solution to the hardest puzzle in your life, I'm so happy for the both of you, i hope you both live happy and healthy lives!

When it comes to sexuality, it definitely did cross my mind, but I wasn't really scared or worried about it. I grew up with two uncles who were married, so same sex relationships were introduced to me at a really young age. To me, it was never considered out of the ordinary. When I realized I liked Andy, I was more scared of the concept of liking someone rather than the gender of the person I liked.

Growing up, I was never really focused on romance or relationships. I didn't have the greatest examples of what love should look like irl, in fact my most positive views on love came from healthy couples like Mario and Peach. I was obsessed with them growing up. Because of irl relationship examples being so... idk... bad. It really soured my idea of wanting to ever even be in a relationship. For a long time, I actually hated love because of it (also maybe because I was an edgy teen). Which is why I never dated until he came along.

It was only after that first cuddle session where I really did begin to start to develop feelings, because after that, I couldn't get my mind off it whenever I was around him. It was confusing, and it's amazing all these years later I still find myself remembering it. It had quite the effect on me. I'm pretty sure I asked him about it over FB messaging the next day, y'know talking about it and then agreeing we could probably do that again. Which we did. I started looking forward to the end of the school week just so I could go over to his house and be with him. For a long time in fact, I don't think I was physically attracted to him, but was really attracted to his personality and overall the kindness he showed me. Of course that changed as my feelings began to develop and we eventually got into high school together.

Still took me forever to find confidence to ask him out. It was indeed quite the slow burn.

And thank you... I never expected people to be so intrigued by our history together. These asks are really nice and bring me a sense of comfort looking back on good memories, so thank you for that.

[ddivilove]

─────── THE DEMON I CLING TO

━━━━ anastacius de alger obelia. manhwa. wmmap

‣ mentions of reader killing some people! . ୨:୧

‣ m.list . recent works . wmmap. ━━━━

They say the emperor has one face. One of pure evil and coldness of the soul. While this is a hundred and a half percent a perfect statement, there are times when this is not the case.

You see they are wrong at most. Sure, Anastacius has one face to most except one person.

Now here is the most interesting part, some would assume if this was the case it could, would and should be his wife who he shows to faces with, right? Wrong. For the person he shows his most emotion to is you.

Perhaps it was your beauty? That was the assumption you had made since day one. Though it was a wrong assumption, Anastacius has no interest in changing it. Letting you think that perhaps at most this is the case. But there is more behind his obsession with you than just your looks. It is the mere fact that you would do anything for him that comes close. That comes next to the point of your beauty. You'd do anything for him as his most loyal retainer, his sweet little assistant and he'd kill for you. Just as you would for him.

If you weren't someone of such high status such as his assistant, he'd make you his concubine. He really would but you both had jobs to do. Jobs that were too much of a risk to mess up.

You had stayed by his side until his supposed end. During this time, when he was about to be killed, he asked you to run off and catch a few of his rebellious foes. A case in which you were victorious over as he expects. But just as you come back you find a scene you'll never forget. A death crime against the emperor.

At first you believed the news. He's dead. But the thing was…no one knew where the body was and who took it if it ever was taken at all.

It doesn't take long before the day his wake opens, you head in the middle of the night to see, to hear. But the only thing your eyes met was the eyes of a man so happy to see you once more.

During the days of his hiding, you visit from time to time. Bringing gifts and some of his old treasury alongside your wonderful attitude towards his bidding. It was a great sight for him and for you.

Though you didn't have any form of attraction to him, it doesn't take a while before you do eventually. You two marry after a while, a marriage hidden from the public's eye. But a marriage needed two witnesses. The only save for this one rule was Roger Alpheus and his wife's presence at your wedding. They questioned nothing. No words were said but cheers and flattery. It was easy to see that the duchess did not quite enjoy the sight of the marriage, but they had little choice as to follow the former emperor's will.

It is now another day and you were called to the Alpheus house as they have informed you of Anastacius’ presence there as their guest. Surely the plan to take back the kingdom that was his was in action now, wasn't it?

You enter and the first thing you see is a beautiful replica of a daughter. ‘Oh… this is…’ The face and features were terribly unmistakable. She looked like Penelope and Anastacius combined. It made you feel a pang of jealousy but also pity for the girl. To be born by dark magic was not a good thing. You spoke kindly to her asking her for the directions to the duke's office. She obliges with much delight as to see a lady in the house. She's lonely. It was clear as day to you. A ghost of a smile appears on your lips and you two find your way to the duke. You pat her head in gratitude before you head over in, waving to her before you do so.

"I see you've met Jenette." Roger spoke to you, his tone is as icy as could be. As expected from him. He was very cautious towards you, though it was unclear why. Perhaps because you were someone who could kill him within minutes of his words just being displayed? Either way it didn't matter. Fear was fear.

Anastacius is propped on the couch, one leg across his knee. His lips were curled up partly in an almost smile towards you that stayed there the moment you lay afoot in this room.

You bow respectfully towards his presence before the words come rolling out of your mouth. "Why have I been summoned here?" Though it was the least formal of gestures, your husband did not mind. You two have parted for too long.

He stands up and his footfalls are heard, making their way towards the female known as his adoring wife. His eyes are filled with warmth as he lifts your chin with ease. "Why so serious, my treasure?" His words are soft and sweet to the ears, the complete opposite of what the duke hears every day, you assume with much delight. "Humor me with a smile, dearest." He whispered again before his lips met hers. His lips are soft and his taste sweet like his tone. His hand moved down to hug her waist and pull her close. The other goes to the back of her neck to pull her firmly towards him and keep her to him until he has his fill.

When he pulls away, he is met with your flushing face. It is enough to make him laugh and stroke your hair. "Well then, shall we begin the planning?" He says, turning to the duke who bobs his head in assent.

–

During the attempts of the plan, you became close with Jenette. To the point that she, Jenette, saw you as her mother and family that she never had. She was still blissfully unaware of Anastacius being her father and it was not a problem for Ana that you were becoming her mother figure. After all, the sooner the better no?

When Anastacius finally came forward and told Jenette who he was to her, it became easier to see you both as her parents. Everything was perfect. The plan was going well… not.

When the plan was proven unsuccessful, Anastacius was sentenced to death now. You had completely lost it when it occurred. It burned you truly. All you wanted was a life with him and Jenette, was that too much to ask?

You even went as far as praying to the deities for their forgiveness. And your prayers were heard. You found that Jenette had begged the emperor's daughter for sparing her father and instead bringing both of them far from the kingdom. Of course, this includes you too. You were quick to agree to the new arrangement.

It was hard at first, leaving the only empire you knew as home but it was better than your husband disappearing.

"Darling?" Anastacius snaps you out of your reverie. His fingers caressed your cheek now.

"Yes?" You say quietly, giving into his loving touch and warmth.

"I asked if you were alright." He said calmly, but there was a small noticeable note of worry in his tone.

"Oh, yes of course." You smile warmly at him. His heartbeat picks up at sight of you. He was deeply and truly in love with you and it showed well. "Are you?"

"Mhm." He hums, pressing his face against your chest. Your skin is warm against his own body. "I'm just thinking…what about another kid?"

"Huh?!" You flush bright red at the thought and this brings a laugh bubbling in Anastacius.

He smirks before he kisses you, implying the action that there was no return to this conversation. It was official that you two were making kids.

"Jenette needs siblings, you know." "I hate you." "I love you too~."

─────── NOTE?!

final word count? 1,333 words! This was only supposed to exceed at least 500+ 😭 I think I got a bit out of track qwq

─────── TAGLIST?!

@primordixl , @lvmxlee

[undying-love]

Hi, I'm a fan of you, your posts here and how and what you write about McLennon. I'd like to know when you became a fan of the Beatles and how did you end up here. How and when did you become a shipper/truther. I am too, sh't I'm deep in. And ofcourse it'd be interesting to know your views on this messed up ship. I especially like that you, like me, see that it wasn't one sided. I'm totally crazy about them, The Beatles, solo/post Beatle and Well, I truly love all four of them, but because I'm really a Ringo fan girl, I adore him to this day, he's so handsome still and lovely, in his very Ringo way I understand why they ll got along with him so well but that's why I haven't noticed this I think, but now I'm obsessed and I can't unsee it even if I try. I'm still quite bit shy about it so that's why I write anonymously If you don't wanna answer I understand and it's ok. I'm still a fan!

Hello there <3! Thanks for your question! I actually became a Beatles fan back in 2022. After I got into their music, I also became obsessed with their history and began researching a lot about how the band started, how they developed, and how they ended. But the thing was that I never really understood their whole breaukup thing. I always felt like there had to be more to their story than they were telling us. I saw an interview where they asked Paul about this, and he replied, "We had to find women, which we all sort of did." And I was like, What the hell is he talking about? (He also seemed a bit uneasy when answering the question). Then I read that John got married a week after Paul did, and I found that very odd. Then I watched Get Back, and their chemistry onscreen was shocking. The way they would look at each other, the inside jokes, the flirting, and the, "it's like you and me are lovers" bit all made me think that there must have been something going on between these two. Then I read some excerpts from Philip Norman's book, John Lennon: The Life, which confirmed that John was indeed attracted to Paul, although it said that Paul did not reciprocate his feelings (he was supposedly an "inmmobable heterosexual"). So I thought that maybe the problem was that John wanted to have more than a friendship with Paul and that Paul rejected him. I held this view for quite some time, until I started reading a lot about Paul. The way he talks about John—as well as the way he always brings up him out of nowhere in interviews—made me realize that it's extremely unlikely that Paul didn't also have romantic feelings for John. I recently made a compilation of insane things Paul has said about John, and there is no way someone would say all of this unless they are in love. Besides, it's been more than 40 years since John's death, and Paul admitted that he still hasn't gotten over it. If this was a mere friendship, I don't think he would have been that emotionally attached to John throughout all these years. Also, if John had been in love with Paul all along, it's very unlikely that he would have waited in 1967 to make a move.

Finally, by total chance, I became acquainted with someone who has recently been in contact with a few people who were once close to the Beatles, and they all have said that they knew there was something going on between John and Paul based on many things they had seen. And the things they said all matched up perfectly with things I have read from other sources. So that pretty much confirmed it for me. However, I still don't know for sure why John and Paul broke up, but I have my theories. It's possible that John wanted something more open and serious, and Paul, who is very conscious of their public image, didn't want that. When John said, "It's a plus that your best friend can also hold you without…" and then he didn't complete the sentence, maybe he meant that it's good that his best friend and him could hold hands without the world creating a whole drama over it. Paul was always very worried about what the public might think, so that definitely caused tensions between him and John, who was much more bold. Paul wasn't ready for that. Also, Paul wanted a normal family life, which is something John said during an interview when he was asked about the differences between him and Paul that caused their relationship to sour. He said, “Paul always wanted a family life. Linda knows this and has given it to him. The complete family life”. This is an odd answer because why would Paul wanting a "complete family life" damage their relationship? It would only make sense because, obviously, with John, he couldn't have a traditional family life. All this is speculation, but it's what I have in mind so far, based on all the information I have compiled.

I apologize that this got too long, but I wanted to to give you a thorough answer. Thanks again for your question. I'm glad you are a fan of my posts. It means a lot to me <3

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

I recently finished watching the show, and I can’t really decipher my obsession over it. I watch it over and over again, tirelessly. I was quite aware that the ipkknd fandom is like a cult, and now I see myself immersed in it, even though i’m rather new. What according to you is the reason why this show holds this power over the viewers? I’ve watched quite a number of itv shows and other rom-coms, but I know for sure my infatuation over this one is really different. ( Also, I don’t find any of the other fictional men attractive anymore after Arnav Singh Raizaada, which is quite concerning lmao)

Hahahaha,

I'm laughing because Arnav was the first on screen fictional man I found attractive and I just didn't find anyone else that attractive until Deva from Chand Jalne Laga.

See IPKKND does many things right if you're into the show. It validates lust/attraction as an emotional as an equal to love. Which, to be honest, shows don't really do.

Also Arnav is not shy. He's bold with his decisions. He's extremely straightforward. And he's brutally honest.

It's attractive.

Especially that we're made to be in Khushi's shoes - to have such a powerful man's magnetism directed at Khushi, and thus us as viewers, is a powerful effect.

And considering how ITV has regressed in terms of content, there's a reason why this show and this pairing still stands out - above all it's aesthetically beautiful to look at, has gorgeous background scoring and has a solid cast that sell the characters above and beyond.

You're in a honeymoon phase with this show and just enjoy this ride - it is so wonderful to find something you're very very in love with.

Trust me, I learned so much from loving IPK.

Love,

Jalebi

[buckysgrace]

Sapphic Kim and Billie. I think we all deserve them and they deserve to be nasty. I'd love too see your take on Fem!Billy 👀

Happy Pride!! Cruel Summer and Dancing in the Dark Masterlists :)

Billy/Billie Hargrove x Kim Mayfield <3

CW: Internalized homophobia, stepcest, mentions of physical and sexual abuse, some religious trauma, asshole parents, oral sex, fingering, girls being in love.

Lots of angst but happy ending <3

Kim had thought she was broken for the longest time.

She couldn't understand why she never looked at boys the same way all of her friends did, why she couldn't picture the feeling of their lips against hers or their large hands against her skin.

It didn't feel right. It never did.

She thought of softer hands, of sweeter lips that were brushed over with some sort of gloss or paint. She liked idea of something smoother, deeper. They weren't pleasant thoughts, she knew that.

Susan's obsession with Kim finding a boyfriend had grew, like she knew the deep secrets that she held. There was only so much she could do to blame it on her being awkward and shy. She occasionally attracted attention from boys. It wouldn't be long until she was caught, she was sure of it.

It was all because of her stupid diary too, all because of her references to Danielle. It hadn't even been that big of a deal. All she had said was that she enjoyed being around her, that she thought she was pretty. That her front teeth were slightly bigger than the rest of the teeth in her mouth. That was it.

And it had completely ruined her relationship with her mother. Susan was always breathing down her neck, like a looming shadow. She watched Kim's every move, observing every little thing like there was something hidden. Kim kept up her diary, but it was more of a chore at this point. A lie. Nothing that she wrote in it was true. Fake crushes on boys and thoughts that she knew her mother would be happy to read.

It was her fault that they had so suddenly packed up and left their coastal town, forced into some small town in the Midwest where Susan was adamant that Kim's eyes couldn't wander. If only it was that easy.

Billie came into her life like a strong storm, a loud and angry thunderstorm that demanded attention. She picked at Kim constantly, like she wanted to see her break and crumble. She never did. She understood right away why Billie was so mouthy.

Billie was loud laughs, strong cigarette smoke and bright red lips. She was short and curvy with strong blonde curls. Her blue eyes were always inquisitive, icy as she looked at everyone like they were hiding someone. Kim feared she could see right through her.

She supposed that Billie was every guy's wet dream, as she truly did have a date with a new guy by the end of the week. Billie had offered to set Kim up with a few of them on multiple occasions, but Kim knew that they wouldn't end well. She would be far more interested in Billie than some strange guy.

Neil had mentioned on more than one occasion that Billie was the splitting image of her mother: same attitude and all. She felt like she didn't have to be observant to tell that Billie was uncomfortable around him, like she didn't quite know how to behave. She understood, she felt a similar way to her own mother anymore.

Billie was a bad influence Susan had said; that she should be avoided at all costs. Kim didn't really think Billie was that bad. Sure, she acted out and did things to purposely make people mad but she didn't think it was really her fault. Kim could only imagine what kind of person she would've turned into if she had been forced to live with Neil for so long.

Being closer in age, they were forced into one room together. Billie clearly resented it. Perhaps it was because she was so used to being an only child. Kim really didn't mind, for sure she was so used to sharing a room with Max anyways.

The issue came with Billie so open around it. It was like she had no shame, stripping down from her school clothes to put on her pajamas like Kim wasn't right there. It left her flushed, hot and nervous. Her mouth always went dry, her eyes wide as she froze on the spot.

It was wrong, so wrong but she was just curious. Billie was built better than most models and Kim was really just intrigued. She never looked for more than a split second, too ashamed and fearful at the thought of what Susan would do if she knew.

Billie's side of the room was the polar opposite of Kim's, full of bands that Susan considered to be devilish and lewd photos that she was unsure of how their parents approved of it in the first place.

Billie poked fun at Kim's side, full of frilly decorations and stuffed animals. Kim didn't really let it bother her. It was childish, but it was hers. The one spot that Susan had yet to sink her claws into. She'd even taken control of her little library, as if there was anything bad hidden away. Their once barely religious family had turned completely. She wasn't sure she could read one more story about a couple falling in love at bible camp. But that's what she would be doing during her summer break.

"Can you cover for me?" Billie asked as she turned from their shared makeshift vanity. Her hair was curled perfectly, her lips full and red as she gazed her blue eyes towards Kim.

She suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe, like cement blocks were placed over her chest as butterflies blossomed and flew inside of her stomach and chest. Her face burned as she swallowed a large lump, either a burst of nervous giggles or her own disgust at the feelings that filled her. She couldn't tell.

"Yeah," She whispered as she tucked her hair behind her ear, trying to bring herself back to the highlighted Bible on her lap and not at the way Billie's jeans clung to her hips like a second skin, "Sure." She felt the familar thump against her ribs, her heart beat increasing as Billie strutted towards her.

"You sure you don't want to come?" She asked as she chewed on her gum, resting a manicured hand on her hip as she drifted her icy blue eyes towards the book on Kim's lap, "You can always pray away your sins on Sunday like everyone else." She replied as she wrinkled her small nose up, the same way she did when Susan brought up her newfound faith. Like she could see right through them.

"I know," Kim mumbled as she drifted her eyes away, unable to hold eye contact with her for too long, "I just don't like parties." She replied as she shrugged her shoulders, sure that she would stick out like a sore thumb anyways. She didn't know enough people in this small town to even pretend like she had someone to talk to. Billie was the one that fit in, that had friends.

She knew that if she tagged along as Billie's shadow that she'd end up in the corner of the room, watching Billie make out with whichever guy had interested her that night. The whole time Kim would be confused, unsure of how Billie could prefer rough hands and chapped lips when there was always something softer. It was like there was something broken inside of her.

Not the mention that Susan would freak out if she caught whiff of that. Parties weren't allowed. Everything Kim did was in strong regulations. Any money she got, letters, friends she made; it all went to Susan first.

"Lame," Billie drew out as she lit up a cigarette, looking slightly bored as she tilted her head down towards Kim's crossed legs, "Have fun with your Bible study." She snorted before she headed towards the open window, leaving Kim to just slightly regret her decision.

Kim stared up at the little stars on her side of the ceiling, trying to will herself to fall asleep. She had never struggled to sleep before, but she was sure that being stuck inside of the house and to Susan's side had left her so bored that she could no longer bear to have her eyes shut.

She had tried counting sheep in her mind but had soon grown bored with the image of them. She had been close to a thousand before she decided to switch to cows, thinking that maybe she'd have an easier time with an animal she really liked.

Billie had returned an hour or two ago, Kim couldn't tell for sure. But she had smelt like weed and alcohol and her red lipstick had been smeared. Kim had rolled towards the wall, pretending to be asleep as she stripped from her clothes and makeup before she collapsed into her bed.

Her soft snores filled the room now, though she never really slept like she was comfortable. She always seemed tense, like she was ready to pop up at a moment's notice. Perhaps that's why Kim didn't notice her stirring.

"Was that someone at the door?" Billie's head snapped up suddenly, her voice raspy from sleep as she quickly sat at the edge of her bed. Even in the darkness, Kim could see how wide her eyes were as she stared at the door.

"What?" She asked as she began to sit up herself, suddenly a little freaked out with the way she had roused from her sleep. Kim stared at the doorknob, trying to determine if it had been twisting or not.

"Nothing," Billie settled back into her bed, but pulled her blankets tighter to her chest, "Just thought I heard something." She grumbled as she turned towards her side, but still looked unsure of herself.

Kim had been no stranger to Billie's odd habits at night. She always locked the bedroom door, sometimes even going as far to drag a dresser in front of it. She had forgotten about it more than once, tripping and banging her toes into the hard wood when she found herself needing to pee in the late hours.

"Do you need me to check for monsters?" She suggested a second later, thinking of how she used to do that to help Max feel better when they were left alone.

"Is that a joke, Mayfield?" Billie sat up on her elbow, her dark eyebrows furrowed together like she was being mocked. Kim stumbled for a moment, trying to think of how to fix what she had just said.

"No," She replied quickly, "I used to do it for Max all the time. To make her feel better." She added quickly, feeling like she was just digging herself a bigger hole. Billie clearly wasn't impressed.

"I'm not a child," She huffed as she turned away, mumbling to herself, "Ridiculous." She continued to grumble, like she couldn't believe Kim would suggest such a thing.

"I didn't mean it like that," She apologized underneath her breath, "I just meant that the scary movie freaked me out too." She tried to think of what would have Billie so rattled, but she couldn't come to a straight conclusion.

"The one we watched this last weekend?" Billie's voice sounded distant, far away as she continued to face the wall. Kim linked her fingers together over her stomach, feeling like it was nice to really talk to someone.

"It was really scary." She admitted, a shiver racing up her back as she thought about it. She pictured the scary image of the monster, just as Billie snorted.

"I didn't know you were such a wimp." She added playfully, making a small grin form on the redhead's lips. She was a wimp, far more than Billie realized.

"Monsters are terrifying." She replied in defense of herself as she wiggled her toes underneath the blanket, ensuring that they were secured and hidden away from anything that might try and crawl underneath her bed.

"They're not real," Billie's voice was gruff, rough and angry around the edges, "People are the scary ones." She said a second later, leaving Kim to sigh deeply. She was right, but she didn't need Kim to agree with her to know that.

The bike ride to the ice cream shop was long and hot, leaving her with a fair amount of sweat against the back of her neck. Her hair clung to it, soaking into her skin as her legs ached from the movements. She'd given up trying to ask her mom or Neil to teach her how to drive. It was clear that neither one wanted to do it.

The mall was busy, full of families and people meeting with crowds of friends. Kim was doing neither of those things. She had other plans.

Steve Harrington wasn't a friend, but he wasn't a stranger either. He was just sort of there, extra nice with her but not in a way to get into her pants. It was a way to get closer to Billie, but she didn't mind. She was using him in a similar manner.

She had heard the rumors at school, spreading like wildfire that she had some big crush on him. It had been Eddie Munsons fault, as he had accidentally bumped into her and sent her drawings through the hallway. Full of Steve. Not because she liked him, but because she thought his eyes were pretty. Unique. That was it. But everyone else ran with what they thought the truth was.

She didn't like the hair that grew on his chest or the muscles in his arms. She didn't like the smell of him after gym class or the muscles on his arms. None of that interested her.

She was more interested in the brunette he worked with. Robin. Tall and with pretty blue eyes and lots of freckles across her cheeks. She was so awkward around her that she almost felt like she had a chance. Almost. She always reminded herself that it was pointless at the end of the day. Robin would never be interested in someone like her, and she would never let herself branch that far out. Not when Susan was so suspicious. It was too risky.

She supposed she was lonely, but she embraced it at this point. It was easier to keep to herself than chance someone getting close enough to figure out what was wrong with her. She sometimes feared what Susan would do if she finally told Neil. She'd seen the way Neil had punished Billie before. She didn't want that.

"Where did you go?" Susan asked, her voice clipped as she rested a hand against the counter once Kim returned. The room suddenly felt dark, cold despite the hot sun shining in through the curtains.

"The mall." She answered softly, "I met Chrissy, you know. She's dating the preacher's son, Jason." She added quickly, lying but it wasn't like Susan would really pester for more information. Everything she repeated was exactly what her mother wanted to hear.

"What did you two do?" Susan asked as she raised an eyebrow, far from bearing the loving grin that she used to hold for her oldest daughter. Kim paused as Billie walked in, her skin golden from how long she'd been out in the sun today.

"We got ice cream," She added slowly, resisting the urge to tug on her hair. Susan got irritated when she did that anymore, "I saw Steve. I told you about him." She whispered out the last part, trying to hide that from Billie. She was fairly certain they had a thing for one another. But Steve had been her safety line for some time now, even if he didn't know it.

"Anything happen with Steve?" Susan asked, suddenly sounding a little happier. Like she was proud of Kim for once. Billie turned suddenly from the sandwich she had just finished making.

"Steve?" Billie asked with a mouth full of the bite she'd just taken, "As in Steve Harrington?" She asked as she roughly swallowed, seeking clarification as Kim felt her entire body wince and begin to shut down. She'd heard Billie talk about Steve before but didn't think it was anything too serious. She always had a variety of boyfriends that she ran through. She didn't think he would be any different.

"Yeah," Susan smiled brightly, "That's the boy Kim has been talking to. Isn't that nice?" She indeed sounded chipper, despite the fact that Billie was continuing to eat and speak at the same time. Kim looked anywhere else, recognizing the angry look that Billie was sending her.

"Mhm," She responded with narrowed eyes, "Very nice." Her tone was short and angry, letting Kim know that she had indeed crossed some line. She was screwed. Billie would tell Steve and then everyone would know the truth. Kim would be an outcast. She wished she had a way to speak to her father, feeling like he would have some way to fix this mess.

Susan picked up the mail that she had been holding, leaving without another word. She still couldn't look Kim in the eye, as if she just knew. Fresh guilt and shame spread through Kim, realizing she wasn't doing a good enough job. She needed to play up to the part.

"So, are we going to talk about this?" Billie asked roughly once Susan was gone, her eyebrows knitting tightly together as she stepped forward. Kim took a step back despite their height difference.

"About what?" Kim played dumb, blinking her eyes slowly at the way Billie approached her. The infuriation was obvious, moving around her like deep waves as she took a large step forward.

"That you're going after my boyfriend," She said angrily as she pointed at Kim's chest, "Not fucking cool." Kim thought of the best way to defend herself but decided that bringing up Billie's previous relationships was not the way to go. Even if Kim was interested in Steve, she was playing a losing battle. He had no interest in her.

"It's not like that," She spit out quickly, but quietly enough that Susan couldn't overhear, "I swear. I wouldn't do that to you." She pleaded with her, almost thinking it was hilarious that she was getting wrapped up into some fight with a boy. A boy she had no interest in.

"Everyone talks about how you have a crush on him," Billie answered angrily, "Well back off. He's mine." She squared up her shoulders as if to make herself taller, her features wrinkled together in anger. Kim suddenly wondered what it was like to feel for a boy so fiercely. She never would.

"I don't like him like that," Kim squeaked out, "It's just dumb rumors." She began to tug at her hair, trying to keep her movements soft so she didn't nervously tear out chunks again this time. It wasn't that big of a deal.

"Bullshit," She heaved in angry, "Just stay away from me. And from him. Or else." She warned, eyes flashing in anger before she stomped towards their shared room. Kim winced at the sound of the door shutting, feeling like she was being suffocated. The walls were caving in on her, the dirt filling her lungs and all she could do was lay there.

She didn't go to the ice cream shop again, too fearful of what Susan or Billie would do if either of them found out the real reason she hung around there. There was no place for her to go.

The couch sang her a lullaby that night, better to take the odd aches in her body than deal with Billie's wrath. She didn't come out for dinner either, probably wishing that she had never gained a sister in the first place.

Her sour attitude didn't do anything to stop her from inviting some guy over, someone that seemed older based on his heavy footsteps and slow strides. Kim lost herself into empty dreams, glad to wander in vacancy rather than to listen to the sounds of Billie and her stranger.

"Kim," A rough voice made her eyes snap open, clearly recognizing the irritation as Neil shook her shoulder roughly. He had never grown accustomed to a fatherly touch, "Get up. Go to your room." His voice was gruff, his hair messier than usual as she found herself scrambling to sit up.

She blinked tiredly at the clock, wondering if he'd also heard Billie's visitor in these early hours. Though she couldn't erase the bitter feeling that filled her as he placed his hand against her back, just a little too low as he guided her back to her room. Something felt off. But she was still half asleep, it was probably nothing.

His hand lingered for just a moment too long before he walked away, leaving her to the door that was oddly opened. The door was unlocked, wide open. Billie never left it like that.

She was curled up against the wall, hidden beneath blankets and pillows in an unusual manner. Kim quickly shut the door behind her, pressing the lock into place before she strutted forward, sure that she heard sniffles.

Something had gone wrong, but Kim couldn't exactly place her finger on it. It was odd and filled her with chills, a sharp tension that she didn't know how to connect the dots. Perhaps, Billie had her own secrets. Something darker that Kim wasn't sure she wanted to know.

She picked up a stuffed cow from the corner of her bed, the one that she curled up to most often. She wasn't sure what Billie liked for comfort, but Kim knew what she would've wanted.

She gently leaned over Billie's curled form, not missing the way her entire body tensed from her motions. Her hair was messy, her pajamas roughly grabbed at. It made Kim feel sick as she gently dropped the cow down next to Billie's clenched fists.

She didn't say anything else, giving Billie the space that she needed as she crawled back into her own bed. She began to wonder if Neil had heard, if he had come in and punished her for having someone over. She hoped not.

"Thanks." Billie's voice was clipped, but not harsh. She seemed to relax a little, adjusting to the gift that had been brought to her. Kim observed, listening to the way she sniffled once again.

"No problem," She whispered softly, still wondering if someone might hear them, "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked as she sat up on her elbow as Billie slowly turned towards her.

Her cheeks were reddened, eyes glazed over as tears stained at her skin. A sinking feeling filled Kim, making her wonder what could have made Billie so upset. She'd never seen her cry like this before, never seen her sink into such a small form before.

"I hate my mom," She spit out at last, voice thick from the rush of tears that came forth once again, "I hate how she just left. That she made me look like this and left me to deal with it. I hate her." Kim believed it too, based on the harsh tone that filled the room.

Absentee parents hadn't been a topic of discussion between them before, but Kim could relate. In a whole different way. Her father was gone too, but she missed him despite what Susan hated about him. She thought that she'd be happier if she was with him. Because it was like he had always known and not cared. But he had his own demons to work with.

Billie's statements were worrisome, sinister. It made her think of the way Neil had found her, of his demeanor and his touch that lingered too long. No. She stopped her thoughts before they got too far, knowing it was too gruesome to think about. It couldn't be true.

"I'm really sorry," She told her honestly, wishing she had a better way to comfort her, "She's missing out. You're really cool." She added a second later, earning a snort from the blonde across the room.

"Can I lay with you?" The questioned surprised her, made her eyes widen but she nodded her head in agreement. It was nothing serious, just sharing a bed. Like she might still share a bed with Max. But her heart didn't get the memo.

Billie dragged the stuffed animal and her feet towards Kim, sighing as she collapsed into the bed. Kim shifted the blankets towards them, ignoring the way her face burned and her heart thumped. She'd never been this close to a girl before. Not like this. She suddenly feared that she'd get sick.

Billie's breath smelt of mint as she exhaled deeply, her blue eyes flashing likes starlight as she rested her cheek onto the pillow. It was funny how all of her features were soft and gentle when her personality was so strong and sharp. Kim was the opposite. She was like a doormat, pliable and soft where her body was sharp and scrawny. Opposites.

"I'm sorry about Steve," Kim whispered into the night as they faced one another, "I really don't like him." She told her truthfully, feeling like it was okay to share the truth. Not the whole truth, but just enough.

"What's not to like?" Billie tilted her head as she sat up on the shared pillow a bit, wrinkling her eyebrows together curiously. Kim could see her freckles from this distance, could make out the tan lines on her shoulders. She kept wishing that she could touch her, just enough to marvel at how their smooth skin felt against one another.

"He has a hairy chest," She admitted, features crinkling up nervously at the way Billie laughed in response, "I don't like it." She replied as she wrinkled up her nose, thinking about how sweaty and wet it must get.

"You will once you actually get with a guy," She retorted with a snort, "Trust me. It's fun watching them get all stupid for you." Kim paused for the longest time, knowing she wouldn't ever really understand that. She felt saddened, knowing that she'd likely be on her own for a long, long time.

"I guess."

"I'm not really dating Steve," Billie told her softly, "I don't even really like him like that. He's sort of bothersome." She shifted a little closer as she rested an arm underneath the pillow. She had muscles too, but Kim thought that they looked different. They weren't obnoxious and arrogant. They were just a part of her.

"He is?" Kim tilted her head, thinking about how the girls at school had once spoke about him. She supposed he had changed some, but Billie seemed quite sure of it as she nodded her head along.

"He's always trying to ask me out," She sighed dramatically, "It's tiresome." She dropped her head playfully, blonde curls dusting across the sheets and on Kim's hand. She liked the way her hair felt.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Kim said softly as she began to absentmindedly twist a curl around her finger. Billie hummed softly, like she didn't mind as Kim continued her motions.

"I just didn't want you to have him," Billie confessed, "It just felt wrong." Her words drifted off of her tongue in a sweet manner, making Kim's eyes widen at her words. It shouldn't make her heart thump in such a way, but it did.

Kim drifted her eyes across Billie's features, wishing that she could read her better. She didn't know if there was something hidden, wisped away that she needed to search for. It was odd. Why would she not want her to like Steve?

"It always feels wrong." Kim spoke her peace at last, fear growing in her stomach as she grew paranoid that Billie would see right through her. She had practically left herself split open. It was worrisome.

"It does," Billie agreed softly, "I don't think I can ever really let a guy love me. Do you know what I mean?" She asked as she blinked her blue eyes slowly, like she was worried Kim would think of something bad. She didn't. She knew that her reasons were completely different. Men wanted Billie for one thing.

"They suck."

"They do," Billie giggled softly, a sound that made butterflies sweep through Kim's veins and bones. It was a nice sound, something she wanted to hear more of, "Why are you so afraid?" She asked quietly, eyes narrowing like she was trying to read through Kim.

"I don't think my mom likes who I am," Kim breathed out the truth, feeling like the weights inside of her were slowly lifted. Billie was probably a bad person to confess to, but she was the only one asking. It felt nice to feel like she could speak to someone else, even if she felt like she was going to break down, "I don't think many people do."

"I do," Billie declared with a soft smile, her full lips pressing together smoothly, "You're not all that bad." She replied softly, leaving Kim sure that she would change her mind if she knew the truth.

The weeks weren't as bitter and slow as her friendship with Billie slowly bloomed. She was funny and had a kind heart whether she wanted to show it or not. Kim still refused to drink or smoke, despite the way Billie would nitpick and tease at her. It didn't matter. Kim wouldn't do it, not when Susan could so easily find out.

"I've never kissed anyone." Kim admitted that night as she laid on the floor, watching the way Billie slowly painted her nails. Red. She'd never had red nails before. She wondered if Susan would say something about it.

They'd tried to invite Max to join them, but according to the younger girl she couldn't be bothered with such trivial things. She was having her own sleepover with Jane in the room down the hall anyways.

"Why?" Billie asked, "You're pretty. I heard that Tommy has a solid crush on you." She added as she hummed, leaning down to blow on the drying paint.

All Kim could do was stare. Billie thought that she was pretty? That Kim was pretty? She barely registered anything about Tommy, too focused on how Billie thought that she was pretty. She giggled, too loud and too nervously but she giggled. And it had nothing to do with Tommy.

"He has a girlfriend." She replied as she cleared her throat, sure that her face was as red as the color on her nails. Billie's gaze was warm despite the cold blue in her eyes. It left a soft feeling in Kim's gut.

"Tell that to him," She laughed, "You never accept any of the dates I set up. It's kind of rude. Are you trying to be a nun?" She furrowed her eyebrows together as she rested her chin on her fingers.

"Excuse me?" Kim blinked slowly, surprised at the suggestion. She did not want to be a nun. She could care less if she went to another church service or bible study. She only did it because she had to.

"That's why you're never with any guys!" Billie shouted out as she pointed at Kim, like she had it all figured out, "You want to be a nun." She snapped her fingers together like she had solved it, like it was all that easy.

"I'm not trying to be a nun!" Kim protested as she sat up, flabbergasted as her face burned in humiliation. Did she really think that of her?

"Then what is it?" Billie sat up in confusion, crossing her legs as her tiny shorts clung to her thick thighs. Kim felt her eye twitch as she turned away, trying to ignore the feeling that was burning inside of her chest.

"Nothing," Kim breathed out, "It's nothing." She said at last as she began to play with her hair, breathing in deeply before she exhaled in the same manner. She wasn't going to break down. Not right now.

"Oh." Billie's voice was soft, understanding and smooth. Kim snapped her head towards her, her heart stopping at the way Billie's lips parted in understanding.

"What?" She asked hesitantly, her voice shaking as she felt like the walls were caving in around her. It was suddenly hard for her to breath, to think, to move. Billie knew.

"You don't like boys." She stated at last, making the floor underneath Kim slip free. She felt like she was falling, crashing through darkness and uncertainty as she tried to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of her throat.

"I do," She spit out, blinking roughly as she tried to keep her tears at bay, "I just- I-," She stalled as no excuse came forth. She was ripped apart, laid open like a book. Billie knew everything.

She waited for her to yell, to her disgust to form in the same way Susan's had. She waited for Billie to shove her off, to tell her to never touch her things and that she was revolting.

"Hey, I didn't mean to make you cry," Billie mumbled as she shifted forward, moving her hands to the side of Kim's face. She sniffled as she shook her head, not wanting to see the rejection on Billie's features, "You said boys suck. It makes sense."

"I'm broken." She hiccupped out between her sobs, feeling like there had to be a piece of her that was missing. Perhaps she just hadn't met the right person yet. Guy. She hadn't met the right guy yet. That was it.

"I don't think so," Billie replied softly as she brushed her tears away, "You already admitted that boys suck. I just wasn't listening." She continued to speak smoothly, like it was something simple. Kim shook her head, knowing it wasn't easy. She'd be labeled as a freak, shunned and hidden away.

"You can't tell my mom." She pleaded desperately, sure that she couldn't handle Susan's claws sinking into her any deeper. The thought made her sick. Billie looked at her surprised, almost as if she was offended.

"I'm sorry, Kim," She breathed out softly, "You don't deserve to be treated like that." She continued to brush her thumbs across Kim's damp cheek, making her lean into her. It was wrong.

"She just wants the best for me." Kim whispered underneath her breath, thinking of how desperately she missed her mom's warm gaze and loving arms. She didn't touch her the same way, could barely look her in the eye. She was just trying to fix her daughter, to make her whole again. Kim just needed to try better.

"For her." Billie clarified strongly as Kim slowly drifted her eyes up towards her. Her features were softly, eyes kind and gentle as her thumb continued to brush against her skin. It felt nice, sweet. It sent jolts through her body. Like it was meant to be.

Billie leaned forward, still smelling of mint and cigarettes as her nose brushed against Kim's. It was soft and sweet, smooth. Their breath mingled together as Kim felt everything shutting down, her mind and heart only focusing on what it was like to have Billie so close.

Their lips met softly, slightly awkwardly as Kim continued to freeze in her spot. She could taste Billie's red lipstick, the drag of her last smoke and the gum that she had previously chewed. The drag of her lips was sweet and blissful, exactly what she had imagined. Billie's lips felt like cotton candy, like a cloud.

She bent down, giving Billie better access to her mouth as their lips moved together in a frenzy. She tried not to focus on the way her mouth moved awkwardly against Billie's. She'd never done this before and feared that Billie would be able to easily tell.

The back of her knees hit her mattress before she fell back, gasping as the pillows and stuffed animals bounced around them and onto the floor. Billie grinned; her red lipstick smeared as she pulled away.

Kim brought up her fingers to her lips, touching gently to confirm that had just happened. Billie's eyes watched her curiously, taking in every little movement like she was just as enchanted.

"Kim," Billie mumbled softly, her voice raspy as she dragged her red fingernails against Kim's freckled skin, "I want to taste you." She whispered out, making Kim's eyes widen in surprise.

"What?" Kim asked as Billie's lips turned into a grin. She felt like she was dreaming. She was in a haze.

"Your pussy," She said with a laugh, her cheeks a little warm as her nose brushed against Kim's, "Can I?" She mumbled, asking so sweetly that it made her insides twist and churn.

"Yeah," Kim breathed out, nearly forgetting how to use her lungs as Billie's fingers drifted across her sides, "Sure." She didn't know what else to say, still fairly certain that she would wake up. Perhaps she needed to pinch herself.

"You sound excited," Billie teased as she began to strip Kim down, taking her time as if she was opening a present, "You're so pretty, Kimmy."

"Thank you," She whispered hoarsely, not used to being so spread out and examined before, "You are too." She mumbled shyly, fully meaning it. Billie was stunning. The prettiest girl she'd ever seen.

Billie nudged her fingers against Kim's chin again, softly touching her as she brought their mouths against one another's again. Kim felt less reserved this time, more excited as she dragged her lips against Billie's.

She still tasted of cigarette smoke and mint, a little bitter but something sweet remained on her tongue too. Kim felt the need to taste her more, to explore as she slid her tongue slowly against Billie's.

She moaned, falling like putty against Kim as her thighs slid against the back of Kim's. Her hands were everywhere then, gripping at Kim's hips before she fell to her boobs. She moaned against Billie's touch, her clit beginning to ache from the sensation.

Billie's look was intoxicating as she pulled away, dangerous as she began to pepper kisses down Kim's skin. She was sure that she'd be covered in red when this was over, but she didn't care. She wanted Billie to mark her, to ruin her so she could remember it later.

Her head fell back as Billie's mouth fell against Kim's pink nipple, taking languid licks before she wrapped her lips around her. She fisted her hands into the sheets, trying to keep herself grounded as she rolled her hips up towards Billie's.

"Dirty girl," Billie mumbled, making Kim cry out as she bit down on the sensitive bud, "Shh. S'okay. I got you." She promised, making her quickly nod along as her lips moved down further.

Kim pulled Billie's blonde hair out of the way, thinking that it was just as soft as what she thought it would be. She didn't want to miss Billie's expressions or the look in her eye as she shoved Kim's knees further apart.

Billie drifted her fingers through the soft tuft of red hair, right near Kim's pussy. Kim felt her heart lurch in her chest, still in deniable that this was happening. This had to be a dream. A really good one. She'd have to pray her thoughts away later.

The first drag of Billie's tongue against Kim's pussy left her head being tossed back into the pillows, her eyes shutting tightly as her lips parted in bliss. She couldn't be too loud in fear of their parents hearing, but it felt that good.

Billie moved slowly, like she was slightly unsure as her tongue licked and prodded across Kim's clit and folds. It all felt incredible, life changing as Kim's hips slowly rocked forward. Her chest felt heavy as she knitted her fingers through the blonde curls.

Billie moaned from between her legs, sparking vibrations through Kim's body from the sensation. Her tongued swirled around the little pink clit, pressing softly before she began to languidly flick the tip of her tongue against it. Kim felt her hips arch off of the bed, her eyes hazy as waves of pleasure crashed through her.

Billie's tongue was everywhere suddenly, deep within Kim's slick hole; spreading her open as she dug her nails into her skin. It hurt just a bit, but it mainly felt good. Incredible. Everything was incredible.

"Billie," She whispered as she rocked her hips forward, Billie's nose pressing up against her clit as she continued to stroke her tongue across Kim's smooth walls, "God. Oh God." She couldn't say anything else, not when it felt like she was praying to the blonde between her legs.

The pleasure was intense, burning deeply as Billie kept the same movements. It made Kim's chest seize, the air freeze within her lungs as her high crashed over her. She came with a loud cry, quickly silencing herself by biting down on her hand.

She had never been so close to heaven before. And had no time to process that she'd just kissed a girl, let a girl eat her out. She couldn't focus on that it was her stepsister, that their parents were married. None of that mattered. Not when Billy licked her pussy clean, not when she crawled over Kim's body, her lips and chin still slick with Kim's cum.

She was silent as she kissed Kim again, stealing what was left in her lungs as Kim met her lips in desperation. She felt her mind disconnect as she let her hands wander, spreading across Billie's curves and feeling her for herself.

Billie sat up a bit, straddling Kim's narrow hips as she slowly rolled her hips forward. She smirked at the way Kim moaned, at the way her fingers fell to her flesh as Billie began to strip herself down.

Kim watched in fascination; eyes wide as she took in Billie's beautiful curves. She was toned but smooth, tanned as she moved her palms playfully over her bigger boobs.

"Can I-," Kim cut herself off, unsure if that was the right thing to ask at the moment. Billie giggled like it was silly as she moved Kim's slender fingers up towards her chest, letting her cup her tits as she leaned forward, "Oh." She exhaled, feeling like everything had suddenly clicked into place.

She leaned up, brushing her lips across Billie's neck before she moved down to her pretty nipples. She captured one between her lips, sucking and licking in the same manner that Billie had done to her. She continued to rock her hips against Kim, breathless moans falling free from her movements. It sent shivers down her body as Billie traced her fingers through Kim's red hair, gripping softly as she yanked her head back.

"Touch me, please touch me," Billie begged as she moved Kim's hand down between her legs, grinding her slick cunt frantically against Kim's long fingers, "Right there. Oh God." She whimpered, keeping a firm grasp on her wrist as she continued to move with need.

Kim stared at the way Billie's features tightened in pleasure, in the way the moans rolled off of her tongue. Kim glanced down at Billie's pussy, at the slick feeling that stuck to her fingertips as she continued to drag them across in the same manner. It was heaven. This was as close to heaven as she would ever get.

"Kim," Billie breathed against the side of her cheek, sounding breathless as she rocked her hips forward desperately. She was dripping, her wetness gliding onto Kim's smooth skin, "Fuck!" She cried out suddenly, her body trembling as she came.

She was pretty, like a goddess. Kim was certain she'd never see such a stunning image again. Her tanned cheeks were flushed, red lips smeared and swollen. Her eyelashes were long as she blinked slowly, opening them to look down at Kim with a hazy expression.

Nothing would ever go back to normal.

Three summers had passed since then, three blissful years of stolen kisses and secret hand holding. Fate had brought them back to California, whisked away in her father's spare bedroom apartment. They were away from danger, that was all that mattered.

"Isn't that cute?" Kim asked as she held her fingers against her forehead, blocking the sun as she looked up towards the stuffed animals that were hanging up. She was staring at the biggest one, always having a weak spot for stuffed animals.

"I could win that easily." Billie commented as she rested her hand on her hip, looking up at the giant stuffed shark that was hanging from the reward stand.

"You should try at the end," Kim reasoned as she kept their arms linked together while she gazed up at it, "After we go on all the rides and stuff." She tried to reason with her girlfriend, thinking that it would be more practical that way. She didn't want to spend another day at the fair tugging around a giant stuffed animal with them. Their room was slowly but surely becoming overwhelmed with them.

"Someone might take it by then," Billie mumbled as she tilted her head, bearing that competitive look that she got, "C'mon." She trudged her towards the line, gripping her hand tightly. Kim supposed that most people just suspected they were good friends, but little did they really know.

"I was just teasing," Kim reasoned as she tucked her hair behind her ear, "I don't really need a giant stuffed shark." She tried to reason again, but Billie quickly shook her head no in determination.

"Don't spend all of your money," Kim said quickly as Billie slammed her dollar down, then began to stretch out her arms, "It's just a little stuffed animal. Really. But do your best." She added a second later, already swayed on how cute the shark looked.

"Mhm," Billie grinned as she looked back at the taller girl, her red lips pressed together, "You might want to take a step back." She added, raising her eyebrows for a second before she picked up the dart. Kim smiled but did what she had asked.

Billie didn't just win the shark, but several other stuffed animals that they had to trudge along with. They had a pile of them wherever they went, whether it was on the Ferris Wheel or trying to find a spot at the busy tables as they shared pieces of cotton candy and corn dogs.

Kim wasn't broken, nor did she feel incomplete. She was whole. Billie was her other half, the better part of her. They had managed to make their own life with one another, even if it had meant losing some of their family members. It didn't really matter in the long run. Not when they had one another.

[666writingcafe]

Barbatos' Birthday Surprise (Part Five)

"Barbatos?" I poke my head out of the hotel suite's bedroom and find that he's starting to unpack his belongings in the living room area. "What are you doing?"

"I figured you would have the bed," he explains, merely glancing up at me. "I'm fine sleeping on the couch."

"Barbatos."

"Yes?"

"You can't get a good night's sleep on a couch."

"It would be improper to have you sleep here." I can't help but roll my eyes at him. He still is in butler mode, even though he's supposed to be on vacation and, more importantly, relax.

"You know, we don't have to sleep separately." Thankfully, that makes Barbatos stop moving around and focus his attention on me.

"I..." He clears his throat and swallows, and I wonder if I've made him nervous. "Are you sure, MC?" I sigh.

"If I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of the two of us sharing a bed together, I wouldn't have suggested it in the first place."

"You're right." He sets the stack of clothes he's holding down on the couch, walks up to me, and gently grasps my hand. "You'll have to forgive me, MC. This sort of relationship is...new to me. I don't want to overstep any boundaries." I can tell he's being earnest. It's quite sweet. And adorable.

"Don't worry." I squeeze his hand and smile softly at him, trying to reassure him. "I'll let you know if you misstep." I lean in and gently kiss him on the cheek; pulling back reveals a slightly blushing Barbatos.

"Give me a few moments to reorganize, and I'll meet you back there," he replies, his voice softer than usual.

~~~

August 23

Unsurprisingly, by the time I wake up, Barbatos has long vacated the bed. He usually ends up waking up at the crack of dawn to begin his duties for the day, so it's not like I expected him to suddenly be able to sleep in while he's on vacation.

What is peculiar, however, is the fact that he's not in the suite's kitchen, but instead appears to be in the bathroom.

The one time he got tickets, he ended up with a horrible stomach flu that knocked him out for the entire week of the concert.

Oh no. Did he end up sick again?

Trying to keep my nerves at bay, I walk up to the bathroom door and gently knock.

"Barbatos, are you okay?" I ask. The sound of things clanking answers me. What exactly is he doing in there that would make that much noise? From what I heard, he normally doesn't take that long to get dressed.

"Yes," he responds back. "I'll be out shortly. I didn't anticipate taking so long in here, but I'm almost done." Part of me still feels uneasy as I head over to the living room area and sit on the couch. While he didn't sound sick, the fact that he mentioned taking longer in there than he expected...what is going on?

My question soon gets answered when the bathroom door opens and Barbatos steps out. To put it simply, he doesn't look like the butler that I've come to know. His hair flows down past his chest, his bare arms are covered with tattoos, his short-sleeved shirt accentuates his muscles, and his black jeans are actually ripped.

He looks...well, hot. Until this moment, I never fully understood why Asmo was so obsessed with Barbatos, but if the Avatar of Lust has seen him like this, then it all makes sense. Not that Barbatos is bad-looking by any means when he's in his usual attire, but this brings his appearance to a whole other level.

Which makes me incredibly nervous.

"MC?" Barbatos is suddenly kneeling in front of me, his hands grabbing my own. "What's wrong?"

"You look great," I answer, my voice a bit croaky. Quickly realizing how wrong that sounded, I add,

"Not that that's a bad thing, of course. It's just that...well..." I can't finish my sentence. Incomplete thoughts are racing around in my head, and I can't put any of them together to say anything coherent. Barbatos leans in and places a hand on the side of my face, as if sensing what I'm worrying about.

"I like you exactly as you are, MC. You have a very beautiful soul, and I find that attractive."

"Because you're a demon."

"Well, yes, but I've found that all beings are drawn to souls like yours, not just inhabitants of the Devildom." He rests his forehead on mine, making my heart begin to beat faster. "I am beyond grateful that I get to do this with you, MC. This experience wouldn't be the same without you." He kisses me gently before leaning away and standing back up.

"However, if you are worried about what people might say when they see us together, then I can help you get ready. That is, if it would help you feel better about your overall appearance. I personally think you would look fine in whatever you wanted to wear, but I know that me saying that may not help quiet the voice inside your head."

[gurugirl]

Okay so I have read all three extras and loved them. Even though the prequel blurb didn't make much sense because in the first chapter it was clear that she did find him attractive but never thought of him like that so I doubt she'd do that intentionally and it was also mentioned that after they danced together at the club only after that Harry thought of her while doing the deed. But it was hot so who cares. And now I have some things to say. Sorry I told you I'd be annoying because that's how I love. When I love something I just can't keep it in. So...

1. I was reading through the tags and there were so many requests for subby harry but I like their dynamic as it is. Because they're not super dom/sub and not super kinky. It's very comfortable very gentle very fragile at the moment, exactly like their relationship at the moment. Maybe when they're more into solid ground....one year or so later...they'd explore the kinkier side of their relationship. Idk to me it feels like their sexual dynamic very much reflects their emotional state, so the fragility of the situation (especially now that they decided to tell Leo) would affect the nature of their bedroom activities. And it's not like she's always been a dominant. It's quite evident that she's confident but she didn't initiate or control things with Leo. We don't know how she'd been with her past partners but she's been with Leo over two years now so she obviously isn't used to being in control now. And with Harry it happened naturally because he wasn't experienced and she was guiding him and he liked whatever she did. But she also lets loose and let's him have his ways. So it's very subtle dom/sub dynamic, which is perfect for them. But I love when Harry whines and begs. It's cute. I also like how confident harry is in general. He's a natural flirt and knows he's attractive and good learner too. He can very well turn into a soft dom and have control and she'd love it. I can imagine him being jealous and dragging her into her room and growling in her ear and just teasing her until she begs and she'd love every minute of it. But he'd still be gentle. We've seen him being very persuasive and her almost giving in to him. She becomes week and loses herself when he's in a commanding attitude. So I wouldn't be surprised if they switch roles. But I think there's no roles they just go with the flow. Like how she let him do what he wanted when she visited him in his dorm and he became subby when they reunited.

2. One more thing I noticed someone said is if yn would ever feel guilty of taking harry away from so many experiences he could have. I remember reading that Harry has dated and had done sexual things before yn. Yes he is only having sex with her. But it's not like Harry doesn't know what being with other people feels like. He gave and received head before and he said none of them did it for him like yn does. So he's not missing out on anything really. They can have all the experience together and they can experiment together

3. Did Parker not recognise Harry at the club? She must know who Leo's son is. I don't think Leo is the type to show photos of his son to his girlfriend so she might not know how Harry looks like. She also must know about the arrangement that yn and Leo have so even if she recognised her at the club or later in her photo, maybe she thought it was someone yn is seeing other than Leo

4. What would Anne think about the situation? Would Harry tell her and would she be supportive and understanding? Or would she hate yn?

5. Harry needs to give yn a nickname that he calls her by. Not ma'am or yn. Ma'am is for bedroom and teasing purposes only. But he needs to call her something sweet but not baby because she calls him baby. Love is very common. I want him to call her something unique that suits their relationship

I was already obsessed with stepdadharry series. But he's mostly an asshole so I'm not really emotionally attached to that. But Oh My God!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!! You don't understand, A Good Boy has changed my brain chemistry. Like I could die and come back to life just to read this fucking story. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that I have not been able to think about anything else since I started reading this. You're gonna ruin me Miss Guru if you don't bring them back. They're my babies and I love them so much. I can't not think about them and I have came up with so many scenarios and I saw so many good ideas in the tags. I'm gonna remind you of them in another ask cause this is getting too long. Please don't block me 😭

I would never block you for sending me feedback and putting so much thought into what you want to tell me. This is truly amazing - once again!

Thank you so much for this.

For point 1 - I think a more subrry dynamic would be ocasional or not often bc I agree - he’s not truly submissive nor is she truly dominant. There could be elements due to the age difference but overall it’s just as you said.

Point 2 - I think YN dealt with all her guilt before she realized Harry just wanted her. I think they’re both comfortable with everything and now they’re just glad to be together so I agree with you!

Point 3 - I wanted to do a follow up for that part with Parker having posted that video but I think it’s something where there were so many people she didn’t realize who she was videoing. She may have been intoxicated herself and just took a video. Parker might recognize YN but maybe not Harry. Either way I imagined that she didn’t record them specifically, it was just a quick moment of them and then the rest of the video but she didn’t realize.

Point 4 - Anne would definitely have her reservations about YN bc it’s obvious YN married Leo for his money - that was never a secret. So Anne may not trust YN but I think Harry could eventually convince her and she’d come around.

Point 5 - I would love to think of a cute nickname! I’ll have to consider it 💕

Appreciate all your thoughts hon!

Xoxo

[toushindai]

I miss you ganauru fics. 🖐️😔 What are your favourite headcanons about them? Like, would they be a cute couple if they didn't hate each other so much?

I’ll be honest anon, I don’t really have any interest in them if they don’t hate each other? The draw for me has always been the conflict between them, the obsessive focus they inspire in each other as men similarly attracted to power with such different aims and beliefs about themselves. Would they be cute…? Would they be sweet, affectionate with each other? We’ve seen Rauru be that way with Sonia, but my take on Ganondorf is that he’s spent so long lonely, his emotional needs left unseen for too long at crucial ages—ie, far far younger than he is now—that he has crusted over emotionally and has little capacity for joy or kindness that isn’t caught up in cruel domination. So a cute Ganondorf isn’t something I’m interested in in a canon-compliant capacity. I mused once, in response to another ask, about an AU scenario in which Rauru descends to the desert rather than central Hyrule first and he and Ganondorf are drawn to each other there, but my musing started and ended with that ask, and even if I were to continue in that vein, it wouldn’t be with the aim of writing a cute romance; it would be examining what kind of changes they would work on each other by meeting at a different time.

I hope I’m not coming off as too harsh, anon.

Some headcanons! oh this post is getting long—

I forget if I’ve said this anywhere but a crucial part of the dynamic between them is that Rauru is physically attracted to Ganondorf, to a debilitating extent, but Ganondorf’s attraction to Rauru is more to the thought of dominating him and having power over him. Sex is a way to enact this desire this while the kill-him-and-take-over-his-stupid-kingdom plan is still a work in progress, and honestly the chance to call him very dirty names and feel him react to that is at least as satisfying if not more so than intercourse itself.

In contrast—and I only noticed this recently—Ganondorf’s fantasies of killing Rauru are much more physical and visceral than Rauru’s of killing him are. Rauru’s fantasies of having Ganondorf executed are very hands-off; he has no interest in wielding the axe. What makes him shiver inside is the thought of his word, his officially sanctioned power, overpowering Ganondorf’s more physical strength. Fascinating!!

I have the headcanon that Zonai can’t get drunk, and in early drafts of what-wasn’t-ACNOC-yet, Rauru tells Ganondorf this—to a flash of indignant anger as though this is something Rauru hid from him, letting him think he could manipulate Rauru this way. In the fic series as it stands… I don’t think this has ever come up. After the second time they fucked it became less beneficial to Rauru to smugly share this fact with Ganondorf, because that means he’s making this obviously unwise decision completely sober.

Rauru is pansexual and dynamic-wise thought he leaned entirely submissive (this is how he is with Sonia, and with other partners they’ve had) until Ganondorf dropping to one knee in his formal audience set several new mental pathways on fire all at once. Ganondorf on the other hand is purely dominant—there is no part of him that desires to be submissive—and—ok—look it feels presumptuous to declare anything about Ganondorf considering I still feel like an interloper to LOZ fandom, but—as I’ve been writing him he’s either gay or his sexuality is so centered on domination that the way he is expected to interact with potential Gerudo brides does nothing for him. There’s something there that repulses him, drives him even further from connection with his people. And so his connection with Rauru is novel to him, something that’s genuinely scratching an itch he’s never had scratched before, albeit in a quite unwholesome way.

I’m sorry anon, I really do have nothing cute for you. There were moments when they almost connected, when they were almost two people who could have been friends. But after a split-second spark of empathy this only made them loathe each other more, for being someone who would inspire that want without ever really being what they wanted.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

hello! I once heard the opinion that the zutara fandom (the loudest and most toxic part of it, of course, we are not talking about normal people who just enjoy their ship) has features of cultist, sectarian thinking and organization. I haven't thought about it much, but recently a friend of mine who understands quite a lot about cults and sects and to whom I showed the most popular zutara blogs and their meta tags here, tumblr (I didn't push him on this idea, we were just chatting about fandoms) said that according to the type of thinking zutara's fandom has features of a religious cult. this thought seemed interesting to me. what do you think about it?

I'd say it's true, but it does not apply solely to Zutara, or even to the ATLA fandom.

I lost count of how many times I've seen some legit insane news here in Brazil about angry fans of some soccer team violently beating, or straight up murdering, people that were wearing the "wrong" t-shirt after a game.

Harry Potter had the weird thing with the Snape wives, and now has the current cult-like TERF bullshit JK Rowlling encourages on a daily basis.

One of my cousins is VERY into K-pop and told me some WILD shit about some idols literally have to sign contracts that forbid them from dating (or at least publicly dating) anyone because half of the marketing around their persona is "You, regular person, could totally date them!" and faced some ABSURD backlash, including death threats towards them and their partners, when they were revealed to be in a relationship.

Anything, no matter how mundane, can be used by some disturbed people to excuse/encourage awful behavior. It's usually a result of desperate, lonely people needing to find ANYTHING that makes them feel like they belong, are part of a group, of a community, to the point that they shut off from anything else and become obsessed. That kind of thing has always existed, but BOY, has the internet made it sooooooooooo much worse.

I mean, seriously, just look at the things the "extreme" zutara fans do.

Creating whole conspiracies to justify why their was totally canon until some evil authority screwed it over, lying about anything and everything that happened both in canon and in the making of the show, even going as far as creating fake "evidence" of some huge power struggle between Bryke and other writers (mainly Ehasz).

Harrassing, bullying, doxxing and threatening anyone that has a different opinion, and justifying their actions with "Oh, but the people were doing this to ship Kataang/Maiko, which means they're all raging mysogynists, rape apologists, and 100% against interracial relationships."

The constant claims of "Bryke are creepy pedos because they only pushed Kataang because they are attracted to Katara, a cartoon character, and thus are attracted to real-life 14-year-olds! That's even the real reason why Aang is bald! To look like one of them!" that are not only ridiculous but could EASILY lead to a lawsuit, and ignores the fact that Zutara, like any popular ship, has tons of smut of it even though both characters are underage - make it make sense!

And, of course, the classic "This bad behavior people accused some of us of is completely false! I didn't see it, so it didn't happen! Nobody here would do that! Never one of us! Must have been one of them, the evil fans of kataang/maiko/(insert any ship for either Zuko or Katara here)!"

Some of the bad apples in the Zutara fandom are just entitled assholes, but I'm also pretty sure that some of these people legit need to see a mental health professional. There's being passionate about a ship and being upset that it didn't happen, and then there's being downright delusional.

And before anyone tries to pull the ableism card on me: I've been through this shit. Thankfully I've never reached the point of ever harming anyone in any way, but I was a mentally ill child/teenager that just latched onto the media I liked, and it made it my whole life.

I had full on panic attacks because the power went out and I couldn't watch my favorite TV show, and I'd cry for DAYS when something bad happened to my favorite characters. I legit started showing signs of depression because one of my favorite bands had broken up, to the point that my parents were really fucking scared. I got FURIOUS at an annoying classmate in school who talked shit about my favorite singer, to the point that I legit had to get away from them as fast as humanly possible because I was three seconds away from starting a physical fight - again, all because a random kid whose opinion on literally anything else wouldn't have meant a damn thing to me.

That is not being passionate. That is not being a loyal fan. That is a clear sign that something is VERY wrong and that you need some help FAST. See a therapist, deal with whatever it is that is pushing you to act like that, THEN engage in fandom stuff as much as you want. But don't ever make this your whole personality.

[antuanimefan]

Recently I got myself into the Criminal Minds hole, and I've gathered some things that I may or may not understand.

Bit of backstory. A few years ago, I was watching TV and came across The Mentalist series, which I really liked at that time, and after I got somehow bored with my obsession I had a thought to search something similar.

Lucky for me, I've come across Criminal Minds. At that time I wasn't playing favorites or having much thought about it, but because of tik tok I gave a chance again, and started rewatching it. Usually, I get bored with long series, but somehow this series hits some things on my list.

Now, the things that I've seen the fans do and say that I don't understand.

1. Simp for Will. I don't have anything with the actor, but I don't find him that attractive? He looks nice but not enough to say he is freakishly handsome. I personally don't like his character that much and tbh in some seasons he feels like he doesn't belong there, but the writers had to do something with him. I also know the rumor that the writers tried to kill him many times but somehow they let him live. In season 16 too is the beginning of an idea to kill him.

2. Hate JJ. I know that her confession was out of nowhere and out of character, but somehow I think the writers had an idea, and not enough episodes to run it. It was weird? Yes. Unexpected? Maybe. Didn't make any sense? Debateble. The thing that made the hate be possible is the fact that the writers made "mother and family woman" be the entire personality of JJ, forgetting that she was an interesting character before that, and the whole confession thing was seen as a betrayal to that "personality". The haters have to understand that over the seasons you rarely see JJ being able to express her emotions. She usually helds them until she can't. Seeing her best friend getting trough things that she can't help with or save him is something that messes you up, and accounting the fact that we know JJ sister committed, she was scared of losing someone again. Feelings may come in these situations, que to the time Will was in danger and JJ accepted to marry him, although she didn't like the idea. Also being at a gun point is a stressful situation. Is not a bad idea what the writers did, but the execution is shitty. They could've made her and Will break up or make their relationship be in shambles, smth to make sense. So hate the writer, not the character.

3. Babying Reid but sexualising him. This one is quite funny cause he doesn't like to be babyied. There are some fans who are really aggressive in protecting Reid, some of them are JJ haters and they have a problem with everyone that "dares" to say that Reid made mistakes in the past as well as any other character. Some are like that, but other add to the protection the sexualising. I don't understand why would you baby him, but the next second say something so out of character of him. I know headcanon exists but damn I've seen some assumptions that were so disturbing. Please keep the fantasies to a minimum.

4. The obsession with prison Reid. I guess bet on the fans to find something so traumatic be so sexy? Jesus

5. The writers and their inconsistencies. Here I think is easy to understand so no need to explain.

6. Luke and Matt. I think they are nice characters, but they feel like something to fill a void. Which is sad, tbh. Because you can make a character be something else and still have the same characteristics of another character. Luke for example, make his character, don't try to make him be like Morgan because is not easy. Every, character in that show, up until season 11 has been there for a while, and the roles they have, they're not just that. At one point the character gets some things that the actor makes and imprints on it. Like with Reid and his mismatched socks because MGG wears them like that. Or Shemar who is a natural flirt etc. Matt is a successful family man but we already have someone who has a successful family life. Make them different and interesting.

7. Not respecting other ships. I've seen fans who are Jemily or Jeid shippers that get constant hate by the Jill shippers(I know that there are other ships, but this one I saw recently) . What's canon is canon and rarely can be changed, but like I said headcanon exists. I personally think that you can enjoy every ship you want without troubles. You want to ship Jeid? Do it. You want to ship Morgan and Reid? Do it. You keep the og ships? No problem, but don't disturb others.

8. X character is superior. Every character is different, and every character has some things you may or may not like. Coming to compare a character with another, when they don't have anything similar, is an asshole move. Enjoy your character and be nice.

And that's about it.