#but at the same time i just wanna go home. i know it's largely culture shock and stress but i feel so out of place here.

[batemanofficial]

can somebody please convince me that i haven't made a horrible mistake

[hallowpen]

Hello! 👋 First of all i just wanna say, as someone who isn’t very familiar with Thai culture your explanations have been very enlightening and just give TLP another layer of depth, so thank you for posting them 🥹🙏. With that said, I was reading one of your posts that said “the social class nods are subtly woven into their interactions” and I was just wondering if you could maybe expand on that?

Hello!!! 😊😊😊 Aw... thank you!!! That actually means so much to me because this series means so much to me. I've been anticipating the adaptation of The Loyal Pin for who knows how long, at this point. I love the novel! (I own both the Thai and English versions. Though I haven't actually read the English translation yet, so I don't know how accurate it is to the original hehe) Once FreenBecky were attached, I was SOLD. Then the MOC decided to back the series and I knew how monumental this series would be, not just for Thai GL, but for Thailand in general. It makes me extremely proud to see important sapphic media, on such a large scale, originating from my home country. I could never have imagined something this grand happening just three years ago. It makes me emotional.

Before I get too in my feels, let me actually answer your question...

Just for clarification purposes, the ask is referring to my tags on this reblog of @dragonsareawesome123's gifset.

It's important to understand that Anil and Pin's whole dynamic is built around their social rankings, so it makes sense that their interactions reflect that... even if it's not entirely conscious. Anil is royalty, and because of that she is afforded certain liberties that Pin is not. Her 'mischievous' behaviors are excused and overlooked because, yes she is young, but she can also do as she pleases. She never faces any repercussions in the same way that Pin does. It's one of the perks of being a highly ranked Princess. Anil is favored in the palace because it's her home.

Pin is a guest. Yes, she holds the rank of 'nobility', but it is a title reserved for what higher ranking royalty would consider a commoner. She was afforded the privilege to live in the palace because Princess Pattamika took her in. Pin was not born into royalty. Neither was Pattamika, for that matter. Pattamika is strict with Pin, in much the same way Pin is strict with herself. Because neither of them can afford to have her fall out of line. Pin holds favor with Anil and her family, but it does not afford her the freedom to betray her social standing. If anything, it only enforces it. It makes you think...would they sill favor her if she were to go against their wishes in any way, shape, or form?

Pin is forever on the outside looking in... and she subconsciously knows it. And, in some ways, Anil subconsciously knows it as well.

"People say that it is so hard to hear Lady Pin uttering a word. As if you’re afraid something will fall out of your mouth." Anil to Pin

Unlike Anil, Pin must hold firm to palace rules.

"Why did you hit her?" "Lady Pin failed to take good care of Your Highness. She disgraced you by putting you in danger." Pattamika to Anil

"Please feel free to do as you wish. As if you would listen to me if I try to stop you." Pin to Anil

She dares not to disobey Pattamika, because she knows and understands why she'd be punished if she were to do so. And she cannot talk her way out of it, the way Anil can.

"Although she might be strict, meticulous, and strongly adherent to tradition... she loves me dearly, and continues to teach me and educate me in many things." Pin about Pattamika

"Poor Lady Pin, I really pity her. She often gets punished because of Anil."

She keeps her feelings of adoration for Anil hidden as secret treasures in her room.

She's quick to question Anil's lack of adherence to formal etiquette:

"Aren’t ladies normally supposed to [dance] with a gentleman? It would look peculiar if we do it together."

The only times she feels comfortable and gets to be herself is when Anil, for lack of a better word, 'allows' her to be. And Pin feels indebted to her because of that.

"Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to get through those lonely and miserable times. Thank you for being my friend, my home, and my everything."

So to answer Anil's question, Pin would feel incredibly lonely should Anil ever leave her... as she would no longer have an escape from society's class structure and expectations.

"With you, my life in the palace is never lonely." Pin to Anil

[uchu-no-bashira]

The Cookout - Gyomei Head!Canon w/OC!Kiana

Authors note: This was a very self-indulgent Head canon that got waaay too long and was too much fun for me. The scenarios could have gone on and on, but I had to stop eventually lmfao. Enjoy, or don't. i know I did! LMFAO. Head Canon beneath the cut.

When they got married, Gyomei had no idea how different his life would be. That isn’t to say that it was in a negative way, but it was definitely something that he wasn’t used to. Needless to say, he was apprehensive about the four day stay at Kiana’s family home; they wanted to celebrate, with a cook-out, of course.

“Is… He crying?” Kiana’s sister would ask when he’s introduced, his prayer beads tightened in one hand while Kiana grips his other hand.

“He is! He’s tearful and sensitive in the best way.” She says, the smile on her face was so large that Gyomei could see it. But something about that grip on his hand, and the happiness in her words, made meeting her family a little more comforting.

Gyomei’s heart crumbles to bits when he feels a firm hand palm his bicep - he could tell from the imperishable grip that it had to be the hand of a father, or at least a very protective older brother.

He wasn’t expecting his height to be so cherished, loved, and made fun of all at the same time. It was a strange experience.

“Damn, Gyomei!"

He's startled when he bumps into a smaller body while walking through the door.

"You know ya ass can’t fit through the door with me!” Kiana’s sibling would giggle before immediately turning to him with a hand on his forearm and stating, “Just playin’.”

Gyomei was absolutely shocked when he was greeted warmly by everyone in the house when he walked in. Normally, it’s a pretty casual thing to say “I’m back” and receive a “Welcome back.” But Kiana’s family was different…

“Tadaima… Ah.” He remembers that none of them speak Japanese, and tears up.

Okaerimas!!” Kiana would shout, causing a few glances from the family.

Imagine his surprise when they took an interest in his language because of that one interaction.

Gyomei wasn’t expecting to feel so welcomed by a group of people that didn’t share the same culture as him. Even more shocked when they all tried to learn things to accommodate him. It was very polite.

Gyomei’s favorite thing is family functions. Something about his Kiana and her family getting together brought him a sense of joy.

“Who this lil’ Asian boy?~” Kiana’s grandma would ask with a lifted brow.

“Nana, this is my husband and his name is Gyomei..” Kiana would respond - respectfully of course. She ain't wanna get slapped in the mouth. Gyomei could sense that this woman was the progenitor, and that title held much weight. Silence was his only option.

“Ooookayy!~ He cute! Tall too! Mhm, and strong! You hit the lottery with this one!! Back in my day he coulda been used to hoe an acre-long field!....” She continues, causing an apologetic Kiana to whisper ‘I’m so sorry, honey.’

Gyomei couldn’t forget the way he was brought to life by the scent of food alone in the mornings. He’d never smelled such a combination of things…

“What are those, love?” He’d ask curiously, mouth practically watering.

“I’ll feed it to you and let you figure it out~” Kiana would whisper - poorly.

“AWWWWWWWW!~”

Gyomei never knew that biscuits and gravy could go so well together, or fish and grits, or chicken and waffles, watermelon with salt or sugar. What a variety of odd combinations to make an amalgamation of wonderful flavors.

“You eat like this at home, Gyo?” Nana would ask, giving him his nth serving of whatever it was he was eating.

“Mm-mm.” He responds, steadily placing more food in his mouth with more grace than anyone else, struggling to keep his demeanor calm as he tries not to shovel food in his mouth like Kiana.

“Kiana! Start feedin’ that baby! He can’t live off scraps!” She scolds with her hands on her hips, brow furrowed and lips curled.

From that point on, every other Sunday, Gyomei would perk up - anticipating his return to a family that showed him hospitality on a level he thought comfortable and familial.

“It’s nice being invited to the cook-out, ain't it babe?

With a blush, Gyomei nods once. He understood that being invited to "The cookout" was more than just the bringing of good food. It was the integration of him into a family that wanted him there.

[dream-meister-translations]

WONDER TEA PARTY - PART 3

━

SHAYMIE : ~~♪ ~~♪ SHAYMIE : I'm so happy we're going for a walk~ But why are we going even deeper and deeper into the forest? EMMA : They said there's a way out of the forest if we keep going in this direction. MEL : Are you sure we can trust them? They are talking flowers. Isn't that a bit weird~? VOLKS : I think we can trust them. I can usually tell when someone is lying. ROUGE : They talked so beautifully, but I couldn't understand half of what they said~ OSCAR : Most of the information they gave was useless. Aside from the direction we should walk to exit the forest, and this "Alice" person.

FELD : Hmm? Do you guys see that tower beyond the trees? EMMA : Oh, yeah! It looks like there are some other tall buildings too! ROUGE : That must mean there is a city close by!

With that, we quickly hurried through the forest in the direction of the buildings. As expected, we found a city. SHAYMIE : That man has the same ears as Shaymie and Emma! Ooh! That man too! ROUGE : I see. This is our home away from home, Emma! I knew you and I were destined to be together somewhere special~! EMMA : No. My home away from home is Reckord. And our ears look completely different from yours, Rouge. ROUGE : Harsh…! EMMA : This is no time to joke around. Let's see if anyone can help us. In a flash, everything went dark.

EMMA : ….Wha!? MEL : What the hell!? Why is it suddenly so dark!? Volks, where are you!? OSCAR : Calm yourself, Mel. You're clinging to my cape. After a few minutes, our eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness and we could finally see the city again. Glancing up at the sky I noticed that the sun had completely vanished. Now replaced by a white, shining moon. EMMA : What the...!? FELD : Why is it night!? It was daytime just a second ago!

SHAYMIE : Wow~ The stars are so bright~! ROUGE : It's beautiful, isn't it? OSCAR : Nobody in town seems surprised by the sudden shift. EMMA : Ah, that's true. They all seem like they're used to it. EMMA : (My watch still says it's daytime, but the sky has turned to night…? So weird…) VOLKS : I'm sorry, sir. May I have a moment of your time? MAN : Hmm? What is it? VOLKS : We are tourists from another country. A few minutes ago it suddenly changed from day to night. Do you know why?

MAN : I dunno. It's been like this ever since Alice arrived. EMMA : (Alice! There's that name again!) MAN : It seems like a normal day when suddenly it turns to night. FELD : How can you be so calm about this!? EMMA : Who is this Alice? MAN : Alice is Alice. There is no other way to put it. VOLKS : Hm…Has anything else strange happened since the arrival of Alice? MAN : Well, let's see…

━

MEL : Yesterday a meadow suddenly appeared instead of the forest!? And an ocean in the sky!? Are you serious!? OSCAR : A person who eats a special pie purchased in the city will grow so large they break the roof of their house? ROUGE : I like the part about the cats suddenly appearing and disappearing. I wanna learn that power. Would come in handy when running from debt collectors. SHAYMIE : He said so many other weird things, I've already forgotten! EMMA : And yet, no one else is freaking out about this. It's like they've all just accepted it as normal. FELD : It sounds way too fucking chaotic!! OSCAR : ……… EMMA : Oscar?

OSCAR : I'm becoming more and more curious about what kind of culinary culture this country has developed. There's no way the food from such an ever-changing place is mediocre. FELD : Don't look so happy about this!! MEL : Wow~ To be so happy about such a messed up situation. The nerve of this guy~! VOLKS : It seems that this is a land where even the wildest of fantasies can come true. EMMA : Yeah, but if day turning into night is such a normal thing━

My mouth hung open for a moment. Afraid to finish the sentence and voice my bad thoughts. Finally, gathering up my courage, I turned to the man and asked… EMMA : We really want to get back to our country…If the moon doesn't rise in this land, how does the Moon Road get built? MAN : The Moon Road might not ever be built again! ROUGE : Oh no! Itsuki will lose his job! VOLKS : Hmm…I see now…If the moon doesn't rise, then the Moon Road can't be built…With such irregular day-night cycles, it would be very difficult to predict its appearance…If it appears at all… EMMA : (That's right….) Will we be able to return home safely from Wondermare? My anxiety continued to grow.

[heehoothefool]

"And now, this year we bestow upon an individual who has done more for the country of Ashdolyr than any other citizen the Viridala Award. This individual has fought to remind our rulers that though the threat of Elderan no longer remains, we cannot throw ourselves back into war. We must instead use our resources and power, our unending need to prevail above all, to protect the peace that all people of Alurn now live in. This individual strives now to teach the young and upcoming talents of the new generation to use their skills and power to fight for that same peace, to maintain Ashdolyr's pride as the kingdom that will fight for peace no matter the blow to our past reputation as a warring people. I present to you, Professor Leoseth Arlodare."

I took to the stage and graciously held the golden dragon statue that was handed to me. I didn't need this sort of recognition, but such were the customs of my kingdom. All great deeds must not go unnoticed, as they say. My gaze fell over the large crowd that had gathered, a large applause erupting as I took in the sight before me. Up in one of the balconies were my companions, the members of my old party. All had taken the time out of their schedules to be here for this event.

"Thank you, Queen Shaleresh, for this prestigious award. And thank you, all of you, for taking time out of your days to be here, to witness this ceremony. Contrary to the culture of this kingdom, praise for this work is not something I have found myself asking for. Peace is something that I believe everyone has come to value. It is something that we all have learned to hold dear now that we have been free of war for nearly 1,400 years. But if there are those of you here tonight who still maintain that we should return to tradition, that we should give in to the pressure to prove ourselves worthy warriors laid upon us by the many grand soldiers who came before, allow me to share with you something that I have seen."

From my robes I produced a small journal. "To you all, this is a small, likely meaningless journal. To me, this is a reminder of lives that war ruins. This journal comes from a home in Thogled, a town that was abandoned soon after Elderan's defeat as most of its people had been drafted into, and died in, that final battle. It was owned by a young girl named Julia Serith. Nala and I found it amidst the rubble of one of the homes, buried under a rotting floorboard."

I opened the book to a page I had bookmarked. "Diellus 20th, 2246. Mama said that the war ended 2 nights ago, that we won. But Papa isn't home yet. Mama said he isn't coming back home, and that we'll be moving to Crystalik soon. I don't wanna leave home. What if Papa decides to come back and we aren't here? Mama said everyone else is moving too, only a few people aren't. I want to stay here with them. Papa has to come home eventually."

I closed the journal and put it back in my robes, trading it for a scroll. "This scroll comes directly from the royal archive in Icolyth. Damien Serith, farmer, age 34. Died in combat at the Battle of the Crimson Floods." I put the scroll away and let the silence sit on the crowd for a moment. "It's been more than a thousand years since that little girl wrote that journal entry. She decided to leave the journal under the loose floorboard in her room that her father always said he would fix, just in case he came home and wanted to know where she was. Every time I speak of peace, I speak of making sure men like Serith get to see their families again. I speak of making sure young children like Julia don't have to wonder why their parents haven't come home, why they will never come home. I speak of making sure that towns like Thogled don't lose such a grand total of its population that the town must be abandoned because there aren't enough people to maintain the community."

I took a deep breath. "I am a professor of history and arcana in Ashenloft, at the Phoenix Academy. This journal is the first thing my students read when we begin talking about Elderan, because it was the Serith family's neighbors who housed Elderan. There are many entries in here that speak of him, and speak of him kindly. I will accept this award, but this award does not mark greatness of any kind. It is a reminder. This award is a reminder that the very peace Elderan gave his life for is worth maintaining, a reminder that Gilded Fate, who sit in this very auditorium, have fought tooth and nail to hold on to the belief that war is not a path to the greatness that every Ashdolyrian patriot strives for. This award will serve as a reminder, that in Elderan's final moments, even Viridala wept for his loss. I will continue to teach peace, and I will continue to fight for peace. I keep dandelions on my window sill. This trophy will sit next to them."

[bramblefrump]

This is gonna sound weird but hear me out.

The further I've gotten into my transition, I feel the further moved away from gay men's culture but people haven't quite understand what I mean by that. And it's kind of annoying.

Back when I was like 18 I was all about that shit, if it wasn't for the gay men in my life at the time, I'd've never come out as queer in the first place. I came out as bi and had equal experiences with boy n girls but I still felt like I had to present the stereotypically gay side to be accepted for it.

And like during uni, I was going to the gay bars, using all the lingo and such (I know I type like a victorian widow) but it just felt like I was forcing it y'know?

Then like, around 2020 when I started transition I began taking on some more lesbian traits until eventually it just felt normal. I wouldn't say I'm the most up to date culture wise but whenever I've encountered lesbianic ideas in films and books, it just clicks now like, hell yeah that's me!

But that hasn't changed how people see me. People still want to treat me like a gay man but my masculine traits are all kinda played through this lesbian filter meaning, yes they are right to assume I'm queer but like, I'm not queer they way they think. So in the end I get this kinda disappointed stare cause I'm not being the "over-the-top femme gay" they're expecting me to be, I'm just a dyke.

Weirdly it's never been a problem with people in the pub industry though.

My point being, I dunno why straight people just assume all queers are the same when we don't loom or sound the same most of the time? And if people took the time to properly differentiate how the cultures intertwine instead of just lumping us all together like a pie chart with a really large gay section, middling lesbian section and then tiny slices for trans, asexual, queer+ folks.

Plus it then sucks cause I go to all this effort to properly understand the whole community (mainly cause I want to anyway) and then I have to explain it to people who don't give two shits but if I don't, they're just gonna keep treating me like a gay guy.

"Did you watch drag race?" "Did you watch ?" "Isn't pride so much fun, i got drunk there last year!" "My uncle has a boyfriend" etc. like cool, that's really nice, but I wanna talk about Fun Home and frotting so . . .

Also once I had to explain to someone that American drag culture came from trans people and not gay men, a girl who had seen Pose and was asking my thoughts.

Tbf, since I've started passing more I get more trans related questions but if I get misgendered by a middle aged white woman, god forbid.

[mitsdriveswhere]

I wanna talk about the Salmon Ruins

I really can't explain in a way that doesn't make me sound like a raving lunatic how cool the cultural and chronological differences in architecture of a specific region are. Like. That sentence. Read it back? Sounds fuckin crazy. Why do I care about this? idk. I just think it's neat.

So.

Salmon Ruins. Really, I'd never heard of these ruins before I really started learning more about ancestral Puebloan (and specifically Chacoan) architecture.

Yeah, I'll be completely fucking honest, my reasons for getting into Chacoan architecture are dumb at best. At best. I'd have to trace back so many things. What led me to the Salmon Ruins? Probably, I think it started by joining a tour group that I did not pay for in Mesa Verde.

I'm 90% sure the tour guide knew I wasn't in his group, but what was he gonna do? Tell me to go away? Nah. So I tagged along because it was interesting. This tour was about the mesa part of Mesa Verde - not the cliff dwellings - mostly focusing on the early settlements and kivas. I'd been to the Manitou Cliff Dwellings as a kid, back when they called the ancestral Peubloans 'the Anasazi'. It was cool, but didn't really spark my interest outside of being there. But kivas?

I'd never heard of these things before. And there were so many! And so deep! How they were built, how they were used, who inhabited them, all new information to me. I'm sure they talked about it at the Manitou Cliff Dwellings but, ya know, you don't listen to that stuff as a kid.

Mesa Verde led me to Chaco Canyon. And Chaco Canyon (while terrifying to get in and out of) is beautiful. You could pick a 5x5 part of the outer wall of that site to study for an entire day.

The Chacoans cared about their buildings. They made art with their homes. This was beyond necessity, this was purposeful. And it was so close I could literally touch it. I could walk in the city and see what they saw from the same place they saw it. I could go on about Chaco Canyon (as I have in the past), but moving on.

Chaco Canyon led to Canyon of the Ancients, lead to Aztec Ruins, and then finally to the Salmon Ruins. Mind you - there are more sites that I haven't seen yet. They are scattered across New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado, literally dozens of sites. I've probably seen more than most, but I've certainly not seen all of them.

But the Salmon Ruins are special in their own way, and that comes specifically from their research library. When you enter the site, they'll hand you a little laminated booklet that you return to the front office after seeing the site. That includes a map of the full site, a detailed history of its re-discovery and preservation, and most importantly - a color guide to take you to each important marker placed in the ruins.

This guide is gorgeous. The amount of information you get as you go is just amazing. It goes over common practices, tools, room usages, inhabitants, changes to the structure, everything. Personally, I found Markers 1 and 16 most interesting.

These focus on the craftsmanship specific to the people living there at the times they occupied Salmon Pueblo. Because you can tell! Who was living there! Based off how they built and rebuilt things!

Fascinating!!!!

The Chacoans used very geometrically similar rocks - think almost brick-like, cut to fit - to create the outer layer of their walls, while filling the insides of the walls with large, unshaped stones (Chacoan style core and veneer masonry). They would also decorate their walls by taking these stones and exposing them to heat to change their colors (because again!! The Chacoans!! Made their homes into art!!)

This style of masonry is not shared among all ancestral Puebloans, and when the Chacoans no longer inhabited Salmon Pueblo, other ancestral Peubloans occupied it and modifications to its structure were made in a different style, with large river rocks held together with mortar.

You can follow the Chacoans and their influence to every site they created and interacted with, including Mesa Verde and Chimney Rock in Colorado.

Idk. Maybe at some point I'm going to buy a big ole fuckin ream of paper and spread it out around my house so I can draw out and fully appreciate the chronological and geological changes and dispersion of Chacoan architecture. Maybe at some point I'll hit that level of out to lunch that it will seem like a good idea to do that.

Maybe I'm actively thinking about doing this.

Maybe I went and bought a copy of the booklet you can walk around the Salmon Ruins with. Maybe I specifically asked for one after I was done looking around.

[lunarflare64]

Hello! Disability ask meme: 1, 3, and 8 please

(Disability ask meme)

As promised, the chatterbox train got rolling, you're welcome for the read more

1. Ooooooh boy here we go, its a whole ass List.

Autism, ADHD, OSDD/DID (we aren't certain enough to find out which on our own), ARFID, Non-24 sleep/wake disorder, anemia, Raynaud's syndrome, POTS, and arthritis (we're not sure which type specifically yet, we're on a waiting list to see a rheumatologist)

2. For mobility aids we primarily get around on crutches, on a good day at home we use our cane, and hopefully soon we'll be getting our wheelchair for the bad days. Our first set of crutches got the full sticker treatment, the second set we just haven't gotten around to yet (but we do have the stickers ready, they're neon). Despite us getting the cane first its remained customisation free, every time we consider decorating it we chicken out because unlike with the neon stickers we wanna put stickers from fandoms on it, and we're worried about wasting them because the cane.....we should get a better one, its really not good.

For sensory aids we just have our headphones, we mostly just use them when we're out and about because unlike outdoors where we're tense and on guard all the time and thus hypersensitive, indoors we NEED to be able to hear lots of little things, we freak out otherwise (and having headphones on all the time while you're a glasses wearer........."fucking OW" is putting it lightly)

We also uses braces sometimes, mostly for our wrists and knees (thats where the arthritis is), but we tend to use compression more, since the stiffness from braces can cause its own issues. And as for meds, we've got a low dosage of Ritalin for the ADHD, and some opioids for the arthritis pain. We also need iron infusions once every year and a half or so, since our body isn't the best at absorbing it in our diet (and to make things worse our diet isn't very rounded, thanks to the eating disorder)

8. Oof, identity question for the freshly hatched egg carton (do you like that term? We love it, what a fun term for a plural egg), this is already confusing. I mean, obviously the plurality affects every aspect of our identities in a large scale, its a given, so we'll brush past the specifics of that one. How our disability affects our gender? I'm not one of us who has that, gender is such a hard thing to define, the others have gender in the sense that they are pulled to masc or fem presentations, but I don't know if any of us really understand it. But we HAVE heard that not understanding these concepts isn't an uncommon thing for autistic people, so I guess that's one way it can be affected. Queerness (in terms of attraction) is the same, generally we're aroace (with some oriented-ness from some of us), that's also a common autistic thing, a decent portion of aroace folk are autistic, its no biggie to us.

Culture? We're assuming culture here means "the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society", but we're white and Australian through and through, not much there to be culture-y about. If we were to pretend Australia had a culture that was found though its own community and not theft from others, there is a MASSIVE issue with foods. A lot of "classic Australian foods" are the exact things our eating disorder wants us to avoid, family gatherings (which are ALWAYS barbecues, don't laugh its just how it goes here) are miserable for us (and it was so so much worse when we were a kid and people would yell at us for not eating), we can't eat anything, and even if we CAN find something its always a pasta salad that you can only eat so much of before you want to curl up in a ball and wither away, its an isolating experience, not being able to bond with family through food. We don't even feel that big of a draw to our family and it still hurts to miss out on eating with them

Aaaaaanyways, hobbies and life goals. We're not so good at the life goal thing, picturing the future is literally impossible, we see nothing and we want nothing, we very much live in the present (is that the autism, the ADHD, or the plurality? Hopefully we find out one day), but hobbies? Oh boy here we go

We have many. Many many many many hobbies, and dream hobbies too. The dream hobbies aren't really possible for us anymore, things like surfing, gymnastics, archery (chronic shakiness and sharp flying objects sounds like a bad combo), pole dancing, skateboarding, canoeing, dancing, hiking, and trampoline tricks (you could say all of these are possible with the right accommodation, but its too much for us now). One hobby we do have that we don't get to do often now is baking, we loved baking so much, we would do huge batches of cakes and cupcakes and cookies and breads and then give them out to people we knew, we didn't really keep much of it for ourselves, we just liked baking for the sake of baking, and the joy of giving treats to others was a great bonus. Nowadays we can't really do that much even on the rare occasion that we CAN bake, the heat makes us pass out and all the movement and standing sets our arthritis off so bad, its best to save any baking for when someone can be there to make sure we don't get hurt.

We don't let it get us down too much though! We have so many other hobbies, drawing and writing and knitting and crochet and loom weaving and the guitar (even if we haven't touched it in a while 😬) and drums and animation and architecture and gardening and photography and sculpting and woodworking and candle making and learning about oceanography and biology and physics and so so much more, our hobbies list is a literal list, we have it in front of us now, the ink has faded into odd colours and it COVERS the page, top to bottom, no space wasted, we have a lot of things we like to do and want to try, some things cant be done anymore but it doesnt even cross half the list off, our disabilities shape what we can do, but its hard to let it get to us when we have so much to do

[miekasa]

speaking of college boys, what do the college au aot babies study??

Okay, okay, I think I’ve talked about this in an ask before but I can’t find it 😭😭 but it’s okay, I love college aus, so I’ll talk about it again! Plus, now I’ve got more thoughts for more characters, so here we go

Levi — neuroscience and psychology of human behavior

He started out on track to do a bachelor of arts in psychology, but when they touched on the anatomy and biological parts of it during his first year lecture, he switched to a bachelor of science.

The focus is still psychology, but through a more clinical lens. Essentially, he gets the best of both worlds this way. He’s intuitive and analytical, so clinical and mental diagnosis is easy to dissect for him. He’s also canonically good at math, so the calculus and stats parts aren’t too bad, either.

This major also leaves him with a few options post-grad, which is a nice bonus for him. He’s likely going to medical school, but that’s not the only route open to him: law school, therapy, lab work, medicine and pharmacy, even teaching are all viable options without going to grad school.

Do not talk to him about Freud unless you wanna get punted off a building.

Be careful with him, because with a single glance he’s already got scarily accurate predictions about your parental and emotional attachment styles, your behavior in social settings, and the onset (or seemingly lack thereof) of your frontal lobe development.

He thinks he’s so smart making comments like, “I see those synaptic connections aren’t working so well for you today,” like mf come here let me lobotomize you and see how well your synaptic connects are working after that🙄

Eren — general health sciences

He’s interested in science and the discovery aspects of it, but picking a specific field of focus right now feels too final. He likes it this way, because his schedule and requirements are less restrictive, and he has more room to find out what really interests him.

He does best when he’s doing something he loves, so picking a major with a bunch of reqs that he couldn’t care less about would have sucked big time for him. It also would have affected his grades. There are still some classes he has to take that he’s not fond of (see: chemistry), but that’s to be expected. Science in general is cool to him and he hopes to make his own discovery some day, even if it’s microscopic.

He also plays a lot of sports, keeping his schedule flexible is important. The sports end up helping him excel academically, which is a nice bonus. Honestly, Eren uses his time at university to learn more about himself than anything, so having control and freedom to do what he likes the majority of the time was important to him. 

He uses his elective credits to take philosophy or history courses of his interest, or maybe even a course that you’re in just to spend time with you. He also uses you as a live model for his homework bye, congrats on being patient number one to him.

Armin — astronomy and physics

He’s still interested in marine biology, but unless he attended a school near a coast, or with a specialized integrated program for that, it’s unlikely he’d major in it during undergrad.

Space and ocean exploration aren’t all that different. Both are vast, largely unexplored domains that reel-in Armin’s interest for discovery. So, while studying astronomy, he still gets to study evolution and make his own predictions about what could be out there because there’s so much to know.

Physics comes with the territory of learning about planetary science, and he’s mathematically inclined, so it works out for him. Learning about the different physical properties of other planets and space masses is honestly pretty sick to him. Because math isn’t a struggle, he actually considered aeronautical engineering, but he didn’t want to be a part of the college to military pipeline; that is, he didn’t want any potential design of his to be weaponized. 

He still gets to study animal biology through his elective courses, and might even find a few focused on marine animals to satiate him. Plant and cell biology are also of interest to him, and are just further applications of his primary study anyway, so he’s got plenty of room to work with.

This boy is interning at NASA and still, with his whole chest out is like, “I don’t need to discover a new planet, you’re my whole world.” Armin, go check on the Mars rover or something please.

Mikasa — anthropology + minor in japanese language studies

Anthropology is virtually interdisciplinary in nature, and Mikasa is a pretty well rounded student, so she’s able to excel in a program like this. She gets to study history, science, cultural studies, and even a bit of art all at once.

She’s still debating between going to law school vs med school, so anthro this is a good in-betweener. She gets a taste of science through her anatomy and kin courses; and lots of practice with reading and dissecting texts through the historical and cultural lectures. So, when the time comes to decide, she’ll have some experience with both.

Don’t know whether it’s confirmed that she’s (part) Japanese or not, but either way I headcanon that she speaks/spoke some second language at home. She wanted to delve more into it, and courses were offered at the university so why not?

Cultural studies courses end up being her favorite. She likes learning about the history of people and their cultures, and it encourages her to learn more about her own family history and culture. It also propels her to apply for a study abroad opportunity, so she spends at least one semester doing an exchange program and absolutely loves it.

She would also encourage you to apply and go, too. You guys might not be in the same program, but if there’s an applicable program in the same country she’s going to, then she’d definitely want you to apply. Spending the semester away with you would be a dream come true.

Hange — bioengineering + minor in political philosophy and law

It’s almost self-sabotage to be in an engineering program and have a minor; the coursework for engineering alone is backbreaking, and bioengineering has the added weight of human intricacies, but of course Hange makes it possible. 

They’re nothing short of a genius, so of course they have time to work a completely unrelated minor into their schedule. It doesn’t surprise anyone that they go on to complete an MD-PhD after undergrad. Insane. 

Bioengineering is essentially the synthesis of chemical engineering and health sciences; Hange spends their time exploring biological sciences and applies the engineering aspects of their coursework to their understanding of (and interest in creating) medicine. Truly a one of a kind mind. 

They also have an interest in philosophy and justice, so when they found out they only needed a measly nine or ten courses to minor in, they went for it, of course. In honesty, they don’t find the studies all that opposing: both law making and medicine making both have some kind of philosophy or method to them in their eyes. 

Hange has... little to no free time pls. They don’t mind it, because they love their coursework, but this means you are essentially ducking into their labs or scrambling to find them in-between their classes during your time in undergrad. They appreciate every second spent with you tho, and will gladly rope you into long discussions about their work. 

Jean — biochemistry + minor in art sustainability

He was undeclared his first year, and took a little bit of everything: art, science, history, anthropology, english. Basically, anything that fit into his schedule. It was hard for him to pick one thing—he liked the science and lab applications of STEM courses, but not the math; and the obvious painting and creativity of art, but hated the pretentious air about art history.

What he wants to do is make a difference, which is how he ends up knowing that he wants to go to med school after, so he picks a science-heavy major, but uses his elective spaces to take art courses. When he mixes the two, he ends up on sustainability—and the complexities about it that are applicable to both science and art are what really reels him in.

Interdisciplinary studies end up being his forte. He can approach sustainability from a science perspective which impacts his art style and materials; and tuning into his creative side allows him to think about science not just from a purely clinical perspective, but from a human one, too—patients are people after all.

He believes that everything is connected somehow, even things as seemingly opposite as art and biochemistry. And he works towards finding the unique intersection where everything overlaps. His studies are pretty cool, and he’s very passionate about them, so ask him about it 😌

The art he makes is pretty sick, too, and often commentary about science; he’s proving they’re not so opposite. You also heavily influence his studies in both areas: caring about you so much inspires him to take the healthcare focus seriously, and your very nature is inspiration to his art. 

Sasha — nursing

She’s friendly and good at working with people, so nursing was an easy choice for her. She accredits most of her motivation to being around her younger family members, and learns that she finds a simple kind of joy in helping to take care of others.

She struggles a bit her first year when it’s mostly all grades and standardized testing, but when she starts getting clinical experience and working in the hospital on campus, things round out for her.

Patient care is her strongest point. A lot of people often forget that knowing everything isn’t everything; if you don’t know how to calm or even just talk to your patient, you’re not that great of a healthcare professional.

Pretty certain that she wants to work with kids in the future, but she’s open to public health and even being a travel nurse if she finds opportunity there!

Of course, she’s pretty doting when it comes to you and all her friends. She might want to go into pediatrics, but the basics of nursing and health care extend to everyone, so you’re guaranteed to be well taken care of with Sasha around. You might even have to switch roles and take care of her sometimes, because her coursework can get pretty out of hand.

Connie — computer engineering with a focus on game design

He might not look it, but Connie has a brain under that shaved head of his. Computer engineering is cool to him because he basically learns about how simple things he uses every day (ie: phone, computer, microwave) works.

Systems and coding are actually the easy part for him, especially when they get into the application of it and aren’t just stuck looking at examples. That’s how he gets into game design.

The part about math and electricity and magnetic fields… well let’s just say he needed to make friends with someone who likes math and hardware his first year to get through it. But the struggle was worth it, because by his junior year he’s found a professor willing to mentor/supervise him as he works on his game and other projects, so life is good.

His school work is definitely hard, which is why the lives by the mantra of “work hard, party harder.” It’s only fair. 

He makes you a little avatar so you can test out his games for him <33 best boyfriend things <33 He’d also… build a game about your relationship. Every level is a different date you guys went on, and he definitely includes something cheesy, like “There are unlimited lives because I love you forever babe <3”

Porco — kinesiology + maybe mechanical engineering

He’s pretty into athletics and working out, but didn’t wanna go down the sports psychology route; he wanted something that left him with a few more options, so he ended up in kinesiology.

He was surprisingly pretty good at biology in high school, so something stem-oriented works out in his favor, and it turns out he’s pretty damn good at anatomy, too. He’ll probably end up in physical therapy after graduation.

He’s also got a knack for cars, which is where the engineering comes in, but he doesn’t care so much for the math part of it (he doesn’t care for it at all actually, fuck that); he just wants the hands on experience of building/fixing things and working with his hands. So, if he can get a minor in it and not struggle through 4 years of math, then he’d do that. If not, he’d take a few workshop-like classes.

Because he wants to go into physical therapy, you are essentially his practice patient. Your back hurts? Not a problem, he’s basically a professional masseuse. Muscle aches? He’s got a remedy and understanding of why it’s happening. Don’t let him catch you hunting over your desk grinding away at your homework, because he will poke your neck and correct your posture (he’ll also massage your shoulders, but after the scolding).

Pieck — classics + minor in philosophy

Ancient studies interest her, but more than that, the language of ancient Greek and Roman culture fascinates her, so classics is the way to go.

Because her focus within Classics ends up being Greek and Latin language studies, she is essentially learning both languages at the same time. She gets farther with Latin that she does with Greek. For whatever reason, the former comes almost naturally to her, so her written and translated work is more complex in Latin.

However, she finds cultural studies relation to Greece more interesting than that of Rome, so it’s a give and take with both; better at languages for Roman studies, better at culture and history for Greek studies.

Her minor is a natural evolution from her primary coursework. Ancient Romans and Greeks set the foundation for a lot of modern day philosophy, so it comes up in her major classes, but she wanted to delve further into the philosophy, and not just look at it historically, so she takes more courses to fulfill the minor.

Can be found laying on a blanket in the quad on a hot day, with her books spread out all around her, highlighter in hand as she works through her reading. You’re always invited to sit with her, and more often than not, it ends up with Pieck’s head in your lap, a book in her hands, and your own schoolwork in yours as you both read in each other’s company.

Bertholdt — computer science and coding

He’s level headed, good at planning, and above all, patient, so he’s cut out for this. He doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative, which is why he doesn’t pick a speciality with lots of design; but he’s good at streamlining and ideas to life.

The patience really comes in when his code doesn’t run. It’s frustrating to scroll for two hours just to find out that the issue is a missing semi-colon in line 273 that he overlooked, but Berty will sit there until he finds it.

He’s also good at fixing issues. That’s not limited to issues in the code itself; it can mean finding shorter ways to produce the same function or loop, or integrating new aspects into existing code.

Also, he’d just be so cute, coding away on his computer. Just imagine: Berty working on his homework in the library, he’s got his signature crewneck + collared shirt look going for him, his blue-light glasses, a cup of coffee nearly as tall as him sitting at the corner of his desk. Adorable.

He’d make little codes/programs for you, too, even if it’s silly. A simple code that helps you decide what to eat for dinner or where to go on a date, one that shuffles different reminders for you, hell he’ll even forgo the torture of design engineering just to build you a little robot that says “I love you” to you.

Reiner — english + minor in justice & political philosophy

Everyone expects Reiner, star quarterback of the university’s rugby team, to be a business student or communications student; but no, he’s an English major, and he loves it.

Just imagine a guy as huge as Reiner absolutely manhandling someone on the field, just to show up in his lectures with a tiny paperback of The Great Gatsby tucked between his fingers with his reading glasses on. It’s so precious.

He’s always running a bit late to class—either coming from the gym, or practice, or oversleeping from exhaustion—but he’s so sweet to his professors and genuinely interested in the literature that they don’t give him a hard time about it. They can tell that balancing school and sports is difficult, and they just appreciate that he takes his studies seriously.

Yeah he’s in a book club and he dog-ears his books. What about it. They’re doing poetry this month and Reiner actually likes Edgar Allen Poe. Who said jocks can’t be sentimental.

He also reads a lot outside of his classes, and has a soft spot for coming of age stories. He usually empathizes with the main character somehow. His ideal weekend plans after a week of grueling games and essays is taking a long, relaxing shower at your place, while you both share a bottle of wine, and maybe even get you to read a chapter or two of his current book out loud to him.

Annie — clinical psychology/neuroscience

Almost scarily analytical and methodic, so this major was calling her name. Localizing brain legions is… insanely intuitive to her it’s incredible. She’ll be an insanely impressive doctor someday, even if she doesn’t end up working with patients directly. 

She doesn’t care too much for the more philosophical/reading heavy parts of psychology. Even experiments and research closer to the social end of the spectrum aren’t all that interesting to her; but the brain science behind it it.

Nobody should be good at cellular biology. Nobody should be able to ace cell bio and neuro and calc and work towards their thesis proposal in the same semester, but Annie proves it’s possible.

Ends up working in one of her professor’s labs by her junior year. She was offered three TA positions working with first year students, but she swiftly turned them down. Teaching isn’t her thing.

She doesn’t bring up her studies to you unprompted, but if you ask her about them she’ll explain it to you. Her notes are color coded and it’s super neat, and very cute; coloring them is somewhat relaxing for her. She usually saves the coloring part for when you guys study together; there’s extra comfort in doing it with you around.

[selfobsessed-godcomplexed]

Prologue

[Rick Sanchez x GN! Reader]

A/N: I'm sorry if nothing in this is consistent with "did the dopamine wear off?" story. I honestly couldn't figure out whether I wanted it to be an actual sneak peak or a rough concept so I just went with what was best for this story.

"Where are you going?" Diane asked you, pressing her hand to your back gently. It had been only a few days since Rick and Diane's marriage and it had torn you apart. You didn't know why, but you had no interest in sticking around to find out. "Anywhere but here." You shook her hand off your shoulder. "Well, I'll see you again soon, right?" Richard asked, a bit of hesitation in his question. "I sure fucking hope not." You snear, with a click of the little white watch on your wrist, you were gone. Hopefully for good this time. Yet you couldn't hold back the tears. They were your best friends, but after their wedding you had nothing but a burning, yet cold, sensation in your chest with the mere thought of them. Why...? Shouldn't I be happy? It didn't matter. You were done. You had better things to do.

"I love you." You cried. Shaky breathes escape your lips, you covered your eyes with your arms. You hate those words more than anything, but all you wanted to do was tell Rick. He was gone, he wasn't yours. The cold burning sensation in your chest came back, the pain it brought was unbearable. He was happier without you anyway...

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The sound of space debris hitting your vehicle snapped you out of your thoughts. You scoffed. Landing your vehicle. Birding man. You thought there'd be no harm in attending the festival, maybe it'd even be fun. Everyone was dancing or getting high, you stood away from everyone for at least half an hour before you decided to walk around out of boredom. You weren't a buzz kill, you swear. You just had no social ques. You accidentally bumped into a blue haired man amidst your mindless wandering. He wore a black leather vest over a blue turtleneck. His dark eyebags assuring you there had been many sleepless nights. "Sorry." He mumbled shuffling away from him. He waved it off. You couldn't figure out why but the man had looked so...familiar. It infuriated you that you didn't know why. You couldn't for the life of you figure out why you felt as though you met him before.

"I have been informed you are freely distributing a grossly illegal federation hallucination." The sound of one of the bird people's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. "Well I wouldn't know what to charge, I sure didn't pay for it." The blue hairded man paused. "W-wanna hit?" He offered the bird person the tube of whatever substance he had on his person. "I am indeed down to clown."

"My name's Rick."

Rick. That name...

"My culture regards naming as a form of cage, my friends call me bird person." The bird man responded. Taking another hit. "Culture really fucked you over on that one, huh?" Rick responded.

"Affirmative."

Rick turned to you, offering you the tube they'd been smoking out off. "W-what about you? Want a hit?" You took a moment to think about it. Shrugging it off you took a hit from it, blowing out a hot pink ring of smoke. "Got a name?" You stared at him, for whatever reason the question annoyed you. "Yha. (Y/n)." You scoffed. He hummed. Almost as if you two had been thinking the same thing.

Have you met before?

You stuck around for a bit, spending the rest of the festival to have fun with Rick and bird person. Amidst the joy between you three you snuck off, making your way back to your vehicle. The familiar dead panned voice stops you in your tracks. "Where are you going?" You shot him a glare. You were irritated but you didn't understand why. "Where do you think, genius. Home. Clearly." You remarked.

"W-well, I'll see-I'll see you again soon, right?"

Your eyes widen.

"Well, I'll see you again soon, right?"

It couldn't be him. It was just a coincidence, right? "I sure fucking hope not." You snear, gettin in your vehicle and driving/flying off. Rick was in disbelief of the all too familiar coldness. Almost refusing to let himself remember. But sadly he couldn't repress the memories. Of you, of him. Of what you guys had...

You unlock the door to your house, slamming it shut. You make your way down to your basement. Turning on the lights, large human sized glass tubes lined the wall all filled alternate bodies, clones and various other creatures. Several gadgets spread about the walls and some on shelves. Your desk a mess with papers and tools, empty bottles and cans littering the floor beneath. You open the mini fridge beneath your desk, taking out the single bottle of vodka you had left. "Fuck. I'm out." You groaned laying your head in yours arms. You didn't want to remember. Yet at the same time you wish you could. Your memories feel so misty, bits and pieces missing. But it's enough to bring back the cold burning feeling in your chest. Why did you feel this way? It didn't matter. You wouldn't be seeing rick again. You didn't need people intruding in your solidute.

You took your watch off your hand, placing it on the table. One of your greatest accomplishments. You admired it. Back when you and Richard had been friends, he had always talked about portal science. Inter dimension travel. He never shut up about it. But shortly gave it up for Diane and his daughter. You could almost say Diane ruined your friendship. Or maybe you were just in denial of your jealous. This accomplishment meant nothing if you didn't accomplish it with him. That was the whole point of this stupid portal shit anyways. To spend our lives travelling the infinite cosmos. As...friends. Just...just friends.

You scoff, a tear streaming down your face. Fuck that guy. You despised him. He meant absolutely nothing. All the time in the world and you still had no time for him. Nor did you want any. You down the bottle of vodka, nothing else could fill that void in your chest but the bitter sweet taste of vodka. You put it back down, the bottle falling over and shattering in the floor. You sigh. Your head falling back down into your arms. Your burning red eyes became heavy. You were so tired.

You sworn you could hear a familar swish as you let yourself drift off to sleep.

Do I love you...?

[octaviasdread]

Gendered Boarding Schools: Dead Poets Society (1989) & All I Wanna Do (1998) - Part Four

P1: Character & Plot Similarities | P2: Schools, Teachers & Star Students | P3: Student Rebellions & Secret Societies

Part Four: Are They Queer?

All the Anderperry parallels plus some other stuff. I did try and get a screenshot of the ✨moment in pink✨ but it was too blurry so I’ll try looking for a clip to post later<3

I know 90% of the people reading this are here for DPS content, and a large number of this group are part of the queer community, so here are a few points to consider:

Verena - Late bloomer? Ace-spec? Sapphic? Each of these readings can be (in my opinion, Judge Lessner) easily evidenced.

On one hand, not all allosexual, masculine attracted teenage girls show an interest in relationships from a young age. Verena also has little interaction with boys and this undeniably colours her views. Meeting Frosty and connecting with him over their troubled home lives and ambitions to live against the status quo allows Verena to look at a teenage boy as a person rather than a game piece or as an embodiment of the opportunities she cannot have. Seeing Frosty as not just a person, but as an equal, causes Verena to question herself. Through Frosty, her worldview broadens, and she begins to envision - for the first time - a life for herself beyond the familiar walls of Miss Goddard's.

On the other hand, Verena is outwardly and vehemently repulsed by boys - and physical acts in general - until she kisses Frosty.

This repulsion is not rooted in a lack of knowledge or positive anecdotes since her best friend, Tinka Parker, is portrayed as being highly promiscuous with "three pregnancy scares," and a self-proclaimed ambition to be "a famous actress-singer-slut." Although the dominant, conservative culture would encourage judgement of Tinka, Verena (and the rest of the group) not only accept her, but facilitate Tinka's weekends away - and they are quick to make Odette the same offer.

Furthermore, Verena is baffled by her friends' interest in physical intimacy. When Odie states her greatest ambition is "to do what I was going to before I got caught," Verena exclaims, "your greatest ambition is to lay with your legs open like a bug?!" This line perfectly encapsulates Verena's attitude long before her admission to Odie that she "lusts for no one." In fact, Verena's rooftop speech is her listing the advantages of not having any interest.

Alternatively, They Were Roommates:

Verena and Odie may not have the constant Anderperry heart eyes but, there are more than enough parallels to make comparisons between the two pairs of roommates. Maybe I'll make a post on them all, but here are some highlights:

(Shout out to @impressedcauliflower for providing the anderperry roof image in my hour of need <3)

1) The Rooftop Scene - Prefacing the rooftop is a fleeting moment in the dormitory that has similar energy to both the flying desk set and the Anderperry 'No <3' scenes.

"Nothing Mr Keating has to say means shit to you, does it? You're in the club, and being in the club means being stirred up by things [...]"

"You want me out?"

"No, I want you in. But being in means you gotta do something, not just say you're in..."

"[...] I'm not like that."

"Don't you think you could be?"

Verena and Neil are dreamers with big plans while their roommates, at first, struggle to see beyond any obstacles. Like Todd doubting his own ability, Odette cannot see beyond her first failure. Defeated, she lies sulkily on her bed. Verena - though personally unbothered by the idea of never leaving school property - comes to sit on the edge of her bed to deliver the 'no more little white gloves' pep talk that Odie recalls during the protest.

"You promised to help and instead you made things worse."

"Hey, we didn't get rid of Dewey either. You can't collapse because of some minor disappointment. You get tougher. In the DAR we have a saying, no more little white gloves."

Much like Neil reinforcing the values of the Dead Poets to draw Todd out of his shell, Verena introduces the philosophy of the DAR to encourage Odie into thinking bigger and believing in her own abilities. These talks end with actions taken by Neil and Verena - stealing poems, throwing desk sets, and smoking on the roof - to shake off their roommate's negative mood and give subtle reassurance of their place in the friendship group and club.

Verena and Neil often show comfort with closeness and touch, while Odie and Todd, though receptive to the subtle affection, show their appreciation by paying attention. The new kids are more withdrawn, but they have no issues making any feelings of dislike or disinterest clear. For example, Odie disregards Abigail’s hall monitor status and ditches her during the welcome tour, and Todd rolls his eyes at Keating while making his reluctance to improv a poem clear.

And the theme of rooftops? Anderperry have an honest talk about Todd's home life on the rooftop with the therapeutic desk throwing. This emotional theme is continued when Verena drags Odie to the roof for a secret smoking session while she ponders a solution to Odie's problem. It is also here that Odie questions Verena about her private life. She responds, "I lust for no one," before jokingly(?) adding, "not even you." Interestingly, romantic music plays in the background which seems more fitting for a slow dance than two friends smoking. I'll also add that while Verena is like Neil in her determination to help her grumpy and isolated roommate, it is Odie who watches her roommate a lot while she's looking away.

2) Odette's reunion with her boyfriend - Odette, like Todd, is fundamentally changed by the attention of her roommate. Dennis asks if she's gotten taller, to which she responds "no, I'm the same," but her statement is soon contradicted. As Odie begins to "do what I was going to before I got caught," it is the echo of Verena's words from their first DAR meeting that causes her to put the breaks on everything:

"Even if you got pregnant I'd marry you"

"Why?"

"I've imagined it, haven't you?"

"We'd live in a colonial with two cars and a collie?" [Sarcastic]

"Sounds okay to me."

His response to Verena's words changes something for Odie. She pushes him away to ask, "do you believe in a centralised government or state's rights?" Her ambitions have altered during her time at Miss Goddard's, and her new dreams are bound up with the influence of her roommate, Verena Von Stefan, whose voice lingers in her mind even in a supposedly private and long-awaited moment between herself and her boyfriend.

The influence of an outgoing and passionate roommate on their grumpier, and more withdrawn new roommate is clear in the above images. Neil is the first to stand on Keating's desk in class, and when Todd steps into Neil's role as the leader of the Dead Poets he takes that step by standing on the desk in salute to Keating. Likewise, Odie is inspired by Verena as she stands where her roommate had once chopped wood as a punishment for her scheming earlier in the film. Her stance, alongside her dialogue, recall her lost roommate whose role she takes on by calling the DAR to action with a new plan to achieve Verena’s aims.

3) Verena's expulsion (aka the mirror to Neil's death)

After a tearful goodbye and a group hug with the rest of the DAR, Verena is left alone to pack until Odette enters. Immediately, Verena makes a bitter joke about Dennis. When Odie tries to correct her Verena fires back, "at least you'll have the St. Ambrose boys to keep you company." Rather than being drawn into an argument Odie sees Verena's hurt and steps into her space instead of backing away. Ignoring the events (or lack thereof) with Dennis, she focuses on the schemes that she had initially disagreed with, but had meant a lot to Verena.

✨And this is the moment I have no hetero explanation for✨

After a final hug goodbye, Odie licks her bottom lip before reaching out to stroke Verena's hair and cheek as she turns to walk away. Uh...Ms. Kernochan, how else am I supposed to read that?

Further ambiguity occurs when Verena appears in the closing scene. Odie holds Verena lightly by the wrist as she pulls her to talk away from her new boyfriend, Frosty. The scene soon changes to follow Tinka, but the cliche rom-com ending of Tinka and Snake riding off into the sunset is replaced with a close-up shot of Verena and Odette. The former roommates stand together and laugh while an excerpt of the song 'Girlfriends for Life' plays over the footage. Slowly, the circular framing zooms in around their faces until the screen goes black. Is this gal pals as the song lyrics indicate (written by the film's director & writer Sarah Kernochan), or is there room for some gal pals coding in the audience's eyes?

Following this blank screen is an epilogue detailing the future of each character, and in a plot twist, it reveals Tinka Parker's queerness.

Tinka's relationship with Snake and its commentary on social class and rebellion are discussed in part one. In it, I suggest that Tinka's attraction to Snake is rooted in his differences to the boys her Mother introduces to her. While this is a strong reading, I have an alternative idea. What if her attraction to Snake's difference is a precursor to the realisation that it isn't just wealthy sons of family friends that she isn't interested in, it's all boys.

Does her coming out mirror the structure of the film? Riding into the sunset is part of the same heterosexual, rom-com narrative that has defined her relationship with Snake. This expected narrative is only subverted later on, so does this reflect Tinka's own process of following the social script until the producation's end? Is this a commentary on comp-het? Or is Tinka bisexual? Or is it simply another 90s gay joke?

-

Are there endless dps parallels in this film or am I just overanalysing?

More context for Odie/Todd and Verena/Neil along with the analysis of Tinka Parker and Snake is coming in part one. But for now any thoughts? Theories?

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Sinclair Brothers Au X Reader (F)

Highschool Au with the Sinclair Brothers. Fluff and Angst. Bo mentions sexual stuff but in a joking manner.

They have a crush on you while you're dating someone else.

SFW, Fluff, and Angst.

Bo Sinclair - Female Reader dating Lester

He hated this. His stinky, stupid little brother just had to bring his girlfriend over. You’re supposed to be his girlfriend. You just never got the memo.

Lester had the biggest smile on his face as you and him sat next to each other at the dinner table. Vincent wasn’t paying attention, too engrossed in his gumbo and comic book while Bo sat there shooting daggers at his brother. Thank god Bo is always in a pissy mood around his family, they thought nothing of his sneer.

Bo watched with fury whenever he caught Lester leaning in close to you. His brown eyes look at you with adoration. Could tell when Lester ran his hand up and down your thigh, thinking he was being slick. Amateur.

“Y’know, Y/N, ever since you’ve started dating Les, he’s been showering. See Trudy, told ya it’d take a girlfriend to get him to act human.” Lester went bright red and looked down in embarrassment.

“Victor! What you mean is it’s nice to see Lester so happy he’s just showing us all just how happy.” Trudy knew what Victor said was right, just it broke her heart to see Lester’s face fall at his words.

“Let’s hope it lasts,” Victor mumbled.

“It won’t,” replied Bo.

“Beauregard! Can you not?” Trudy fumed. Bo stood up from the table not wanting to be a part of the awkward tension that was dinner. He stole a glance at you as he walked away. He swore he saw it, that look. The look of “Please don’t leave.”

He lied in bed, not wanting to listen to your laughter downstairs, Lester singing your praises, how you both planned on going out Friday night for another date. Fuck.

That night it was Vincent who went to Check up on Bo. Your Twin will just know when something is off.

“She looked at me, y’know. I could read her eyes. She didn’t want me away from her.” Bo said with a smug knowing tone. Vincent shook his head and signed,

“She probably felt bad, felt awkward, it was her first time here.”

“Ya, well, let’s hope it’s her last.”

Vincent turned towards the door. He slumped his shoulders. Bo took in what Vincent was staring at. His stupid stinky little brother. Lester’s eyes, usually so vibrant, were downcast, a little glossy even.

“...Just because you hate her, Bo…” Lester couldn’t finish before he walked away from his older brothers, cursing himself for not sticking up for you.

Vincent gave Bo a knowing look and left.

Bo stewed on his bed, remembering when he first fell for you. Mrs. Power had partnered you up in science class. Bo wasn’t the best partner, he never did the work but he sure could make you laugh. When you first laughed at one of his jokes, be it from genuine humor or just being nice, Bo fell in love.

Then why didn’t he ask you out? Why did he have to date those other girls instead of you? Would be an ass to you in front of his friends but sweet on ya when it was just you and him. Why did Lester have to bug him at his lockers? Lester had immediately taken a shine to you right then and there. Why did you have to fall for his stupid stinky little brother, the one who used axe body spray like a shower? The weird one who collected roadkill and was friends with the employees at the dump.

How in the hell could his brother think he hated you. You. Warm, funny, kind you.

Bo doesn’t hate you. He wishes he did...

Lester Sinclair - Female Reader dating Metalhead Vincent

Lester made his way to Bo’s truck. Dodging past his peers and moving cars, Bo always parked the furthest away in the student parking lot. He wanted his car right at the exit so he could get the hell out of school asap.

“Hey, Bo!”

“Hey, Rat boy.”

“Don’t fuckin’ call me that.”

“What? You are our Rat boy.” Lester hated his brother. But he was Lester’s ride home so he never pushed a disagreement too far.

The two stood in awkward silence just waiting. Bo broke the silence with a huff. “The Freak is probably three deep in her right now.” Normally Lester would laugh at such a crude remark but it involved you. He didn’t want to treat you as some faceless girl the guys joked about being ‘loose’

“That freak better hurry up, he has a doctor’s app in an hour. And Dad likes it when a patient gets there early. Crotchety old man…”

Lester just stood there, remembering the last skin graft surgery and how the skin didn’t take to Vincent at all. Vincent tried his best to hide the pain, the physical and mental, but late one night he could hear his brother sobbing a room away.

“You know since he started dating, Y/N, he’s been less nervous about these appointments. Fine by me, I can’t stand when his ass gets all moppy.”

Lester knew what Bo meant. Bo got just as nervous as Vincent and vice versa. It was some weird twin thing they shared.

“There’s the fucker!” Bo pointed you and Vincent out. Lester had seen you and Vincent countless times together and every time he saw you both it felt like the first time all over again. That twist in his gut and pain in his throat. He remembers the first time he saw you with Vincent. You were acting all shy around Vincent’s metalhead buddies. They kept patting Vincent on the back,

“Good job, man!”

“Didn’t think you’d get a cute one.”

“Hey, Y/N, got any friends?”

Vincent wore his wax facial prosthetic covering most of his face but Lester knew that his brother was as red as a tomato.

Lester remembers meeting you in geography class. In the same group tasked to map out the local park. You and Lester buddied up, mapping the wooded trail. “Oh, Lester look, frog bones!” You quickly covered your mouth, embarrassed at pointing out something so weird but Lester fell in love. A girl into vulture culture? Perfect. You and Lester looked around for more bones, finding none. You handed him the frog skull. “Here, a memento of this weird day.” You smiled as you said it, Lester knowing you wanted to say more but fear of sounding sappy took over you.

Lester should have known it was the beginning of the end of the night you stopped by to drop off his assignments after he had been sick with mono. Instead of Lester at the door greeting you, it was his long hair, covered in judas priest-like stud bracelets and, Metallica shirt-wearing brother.

“Hi, Vincent! Huh, these are for Lester, do you mind giving these to him?” Lester wanted to scream out to you but with his groggy state wouldn’t allow it. He had no idea what Vincent was attempting to say to you, Vincent could speak but it was horse and quiet. Lester fell back asleep, your laughter from downstairs should have been soothing, should have made him feel better, but knowing it was because of Vincent…

You and Vincent were hand in hand making your way to Bo’s truck. Bo wore a straight face while Lester hid his disdain. “Hey, Lester!” You shouted with a smile! Damn it, Lester tried to hide his blush, he turned his head around to make sure you didn't catch it.

“Y/N, wanna ride home? If so, hurry up, Candle Head has an appointment.”

Vincent flipped Bo off and helped you into the truck. You snuggled together in the back seat of the car, Vincent nuzzling into your hair and murmuring sweet nothings.

Bo gave Lester a look, smirking at Lester’s scowling.

Vincent grumbled as Bo pulled up to your place. He tapped Bo on the shoulder and Bo nodded, understanding his brother without words.

Vincent walked you to your door, his large hand holding yours. You kept looking up to Vincent, smiling and giggling.

“Les, you can stop scowling.” Said Bo.

Lester grumbled.

“If it helps you, do it for now. Just learn to get over it. Vincent has never been happier. When Candle Head is happy, I feel it. When he’s sad, I feel it. So just let Vincent have this. Besides, you chickened out on asking her.”

Lester ignored his brother and watched you and Vincent. “Oh shit, haha, Hey Candle Head! Nice one!” Bo shouted out the window to his brother, making Lester’s ear ring in the process.

Lester watched as Vincent removed some of his wax prosthetic and gave you a deep kiss. His stomach churned, his heart stopped, his head felt full and his left ear was still ringing.

Bo was right. Lester had chickened out. He had so many opportunities to ask you out but his insecurities got the best of him. He couldn’t be too mad, Vincent was happy for the first time in years. He’d learn to be happy for his brother, but not happy at losing out on you.

Vincent Sinclair - Female Reader dating Bo.

“Hey, Vin, want some? Vin?” Vincent stared intently, eye not leaving you. Lester spoke up “Hey, Candle Head?” Vincent whipped his head at his little brother, he had his prosthetic on but Lester knew he was scowling. “Hey, got yer attention. Want some of this?” Lester shoved a funnel cake in his brother's face. Before Vincent could react “Well, too bad, you’ll have to get yer own.”

God, Vincent hated his brother sometimes. Speaking of brothers. Bo had you under his arm, shouting over your head to one of his friends “Ya, see you later, no, much later, I’ll be busy!” He leaned down to kiss your cheek “Busy with you, Dollface.” Vincent loved your laughter, just hated when it was Bo who made you laugh.

“Hey, Candle Head, gotta fiver?”

“Bo, don’t call him that, it's mean.”

“It’s a family thing, Candle Head don't mind, right?”

“Stop it, Bo!”

Bo scoffed at you and sneered at Vincent. “I’m gonna bum us some food.” He said to you as he kissed you on the forehead. Bo slammed his shoulder into his brother as he walked by. Vincent stood firm, his wider frame feeling nothing against his brother.

Walking up to Vinny you placed your hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for him. I know he’s your twin but he still doesn’t have to be that mean.” Vincent shrugged his shoulders, hands deep in his pockets. He fought the strong urge to pull you into him, hold your head into his chest and never let you go. He hated himself for being so sappy over you but he really couldn’t help it.

Vincent remembered when he first met you, the school library after class time. He was looking for an art history book. He saw you in the same aisle, grabbing scanning for what he remembers was ‘a book about frogs’ It was for your science class. Vincent walked over to you, did his best to speak, and ask what you needed. You excitedly told him, which shocked him. Mostly because, even though he talks to girls, they are never happy to talk to him. You rambled on and on to him, how annoyed you were at your stupid science partner, Bo. Vincent laughed, explaining to you that was his stupid brother.

“I feel like an ass. Sorry.” You sighed and hid your face behind your hands. Vincent assured you that it was okay and Bo is an asshole. If Bo was an asshole, why did you have to start dating him?

He remembers when Bo snapped at you in the hallway, the embarrassment was all over your face. Remembers when Bo stood you up on a date. You came into school the next day cussing out Bo. He called you a bitch and from that moment on he found a new sense of hatred for his twin.

“Hey, Candle Head, get yer own girlfriend, Babe, get over here.” Vincent gave you a sad look as you returned one to him. You ran into Bo’s arms and he spun you around, careful not to drop the red snow cone in his hand. “See, Babe, Red, so we both can enjoy it.” You giggled sweetly at him, he held it up to you, pushing it into your nose.

“Bo!” You scolded but laughed as he kissed the red juice off the tip of your nose.

Vincent’s feet felt like lead. He wanted nothing more than to walk away and not look at the gut-wrenching scene, but seeing you bashful and just got to Vincent. He’d give anything to have that be you and him. Give anything to go back to the day he met you and ask you out himself.

“Come on, Candle Head, we need one more person for the strawberry twirly ride thing,” Bo called out, gesturing for Vincent to follow. You turned to Vincent and grinned at him.

“Come on, Vinny!” For you, Vincent would follow. No matter how much it hurts.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

For the dead| Gregor

Note: YAY I FRICKEN LOVE THE DAY OF THE DEAD- AHHH

also....part 2?

Warnings: none,

Reader: male

"I got new hands for you!"

"yeah! Yeah send em back!" Y/n shouted not bothering to turn his head from his task of washing dishes.

Gregor was nudged forward by Cid, he making his way back, still dressed cladly in his trooper armor.

"Uh. Y/n?" He questioned.

Y/n turned his head, "That's me."

There was an awkward silence, "so..."

"Oh right!" Y/n spoke, "just grab a sponge and a bucket and start scrubbing something."

"That's it?" Gregor asked, his voice staying higher as he talked.

Y/n nodded, "this kitchen's filthy, I offered to help Cid start selling meals here, so it needs to be cleaned before I even start."

Gregor nodded, great. He went from slave of the republic to slave of Cid. Y/n returned to scrubbing dishes as Gregor grabbed a bucket and walked away, Y/n, had already scrubbed seemingly everything in his vicinity.

"Anything in the back?" Gregor questioned voice cracking slightly.

"Yep. Haven't touched it yet." Y/n smiled, "just through the doorway."

Gregor walked through the kitchen, turning into the doorway he almost wanted to barf, he found a whole new respect for Y/n and barely knew the guy, the place stunk of rotten food and garbage.

Had it always been this bad?

Pulling up his sleeves and taking off his gloves, not willing to get his own pair of black gloves dirty he started on the cracked walls, he spent the next hour cleaning one wall.

Getting down to the trim in the corner there was a crack in the wall, small his fingernail it held one flower, bright and eye-catching in color, an orange color, and odd color not seen much around the galaxy.

"Wonder how long you've survived here." He commented, to no one in particular cleaning around the flower carefully. Starting the next wall his sponge split in half, splatting him in the chest plate.

"Damn it." He cursed, tossing the broken sponge in the murky water, "probably should change this all out anyways."

Walking back to Y/n was to ask for a replacement sponge he was greeted with a dark room, a soft glow of orange and yellow at the end of the hall.

"Y/n?" Gregor called, bucket in hand he walked towards the light he ended up at an alter, shelves built like a small pyramid that hung a bit higher than waist height on the wall.

Seeing some of the pictures he picked up one, "This...is this Fives?" He questioned remembering the trooper from way back when.

The shelves were decorated with pictures and flowers, small fruits and drinks, everything brought together with lit candles. That's when he realized, the flowers adorning the altar were the same ones that grew out the walls trim.

Others he didn't realize, some other troopers, sure. A drawn photo of 99 the old defective clone who had been put on cleaning duty on Kamino.

"Hey-"

The sudden noise started him, causing him to jolt forward as he turned to face the voice. Bumping into the shelves as it came tumbling down. Gregor trying to catch it but to no avail, the crashing of glass echoing as it hit the floor in the once spotless kitchen. The two winced at the sound.

"Sorry..." he apologized, bucket still one hand looking back prepared to be yelled at.

"Hey. It's okay." Y/n spoke, "I have more frames and candle glasses."

Y/n quickly sorting through the mess for the photos in the hope they weren't ruined by the spill of food or drink.

"The candles-"

"Battery operated." Y/n spoke, "Im not that stupid."

Gregor set the bucket down, quickly helping, "I'm sorry- I really am-" his voice cracking with nervousness as Y/n started putting things on the counter in a hurry.

"It's okay, really." Y/n told him, "I should have moved it anyways"

Gregor rubbed the back of his neck putting wrecked flowers on the counter. Y/n grabbing a broom and cleaning all the food and glass up, Gregor holding the dustpan as they then cleaned up the spills. It was when they threw anything deemed ineligible for reuse did Gregor take a look back at the structure, it obviously had importance, and he felt bad he had ruined it.

"I shouldn't be asking questions. Not after what I did-" Gregor started, "but what's it for?"

"Hm?" Y/n questioned looking to the side, "oh. A cultural thing,"

Y/n had answered so casually, "Oh, " Gregor replied.

Y/n nodded, "To honor ones that passed on, I, unfortunately, didn't know my parents or family but made a family with those clones I saw drop you off, and some others, passed on friends of my own and the boys put some up there, I helped Omega draw 99 I believe was his name since she didn't have a photo."

"So, anyone can do it?" Gregor questioned.

"Mhm, I don't see why not, as long as you are respectful about it I don't see a problem." Y/n answered, "Thinking about doing it?"

"Me? Oh! Oh no!" He spoke, "Im sure I upset the ones passed on after, well that."

Y/n chuckled, "Im sure they're laughing at it wherever they are, I was laughing at it a bit, how jumpy you were."

"That bad?" Gregor chuckled.

"As high as a loth cat," He spoke now picking through the flowers, some disheveled by impact, Gregor helping in picking out the ruined ones.

"You have a place to sleep?" Y/n questioned.

"Huh?" Gregor questioned, "Uh no, no I don't."

"Wanna stay at my place? I have Menudo in my crockpot at home." Y/n told.

"Men- what?" Gregor asked, he had never heard of such a dish, yet he was more shocked that he had just ruined Y/n's important display and now was being asked if he wanted to sleep and eat at Y/n's home.

"Food, soup to be exact" Y/n spoke with a smile.

"I uh," Gregor tried to start, having trouble with the kindness, he was just recently shot at by some of his closest brothers, "Y-yeah I'd like that."

Y/n smiled, "Trust me, I think you'll like it, Ordo Mantell can get chilly from time to time."

Gregor nodded as Y/n tied up the flowers, bagging the broken ones.

"You're taking them?" Gregor asked, Y/n nodding.

"Yeah I never let my flowers go to waste, usually I make potpourri when the petals have been sundried." Y/n told, "It goes right back to them though, I always have a few vases full behind or between pictures for good luck, if I have too much- usually all the time- the neighboring old woman loves to have them and talk about them with her lady friends."

"You're full of surprises." Gregor commented.

Y/n smiled smally, "Well, I suppose I have a few more up my sleeve, now, shall we? We have about a twenty minute walk."

Gregor nodded Y/n had checked once more that everything was set out to dry, especially the pictures and then they were on there way. Gregor following Y/n like a puppy with his mother. The walk to his apartment was quiet, Y/n stopping a few times at small stands, Gregor didn't pay much attention to it, Y/n picking up some fruit- but what he did was pay attention too was the sigh in Y/n's voice when Vendors said they were out of what both the vendor and Y/n called Marigolds.

"Okay, tomorrow?" Y/n questioned.

"Early, but they're rare, especially out here, I know you want them for culture purposes Y/n but I have people paying double credit for them, my families in a tight spot, so If you can get here before those richins can, you can have them." The girl spoke, "I'm sorry chick."

Y/n sighed, "Okay thank you."

The woman nodded as Y/n had been turned away for the fourth time.

"Come on it's just up ahead." Y/n spoke gesturing across the street.

"Okay."

They walked across the street and into the store, "Afternoon,"

"Afternoon," The old woman smiled, "Ah! You brought a man home! A handsome one at that! Good for you!"

Y/n chuckled, Gregor rubbing the back of his neck flushetered.

"Gregor meet Mrs.Baker, Mrs.Baker Gregor." Y/n introduced.

"An honor mam." Gregor spoke.

"Not only is he a looker! He's a gentlemen!" She prasied, "Look at you!"

Y/n smiled, cheeks flustering shortly, it not going unnoticed by Gregor.

"And a man in uniform!"

"Goodnight Mrs.Baker!" Y/n spoke quickly, pulling Gregor through the small store to the back, "I'll have potpourri for you soon!"

"Your a dear you know that!" She called back as Y/n led Gregor to the steps, Y/n allowing gregor to go up first as they made it to the top of the stairs the door opened relieving a hallway.

"All the way up." Y/n spoke, "The attic."

"You lead the way," Gregor practically begged, Y/n nodded squeezing past him.

He smells good, was gregor's only thoughts as Y/n made it past him leading the way, up two more sets of stairs and up to a hatch, where he opened it.

"Watch yourself." Y/n told Gregor.

Gregor climbed the steep stairs following behind Y/n. It was surpignsly spacious, Y/n's little kitchenette behind where he climbed up from, a nice handmade run covered the floor in front of Gregor. Y/n walked over to his desk, that a bit more fancy as it was built into the angled ceiling a window as light source directly above, he set the bags down as a took cat come out from the seat of the chair.

"hey there." Y/n smiled rubbing it's head, "Meet Alley, Alley meet Gregor."

The tooka cat stay still, enjoying Y/n's pats on the head.

"Like an alley way?" Gregor questioned Y/n nodded.

"It's where I found him after all," Y/n commented, "Oh let me get you food you must be hungry."

Gregor finally made it up all the way after semi gazing at the place, closing the hatch below him. Y/n walking over to the kitchenette as he opened the crockpot lid. Gregor now level with the ground looked around, Y/n's "bed" was more of a large, humongous bean bag, easy to push and move as he needed and was convinet. He had a small table besides it with some candles, wax melted and dripping onto the table. Scanning around he seeing the center window, circular and big in shape, with shelves on the walls surrounding it.

"Is this...what I seen earlier?"

Gregor was infauted to say less, the bright colors of the marigolds contrasted to the cool colors of the dark night of Ordo mantel with the city lights crashing against it. Real candles that once stood tall were now wilted away and dripping wax but still lit. Images again at the center of everything accompanied by food and drink. It was beautiful, but sad, how something which could be so painful could be so beautiful.

"It's...amazing." Gregor commented, Y/n watching him from across the room look with infatuation and awe, Gregor turned back towards Y/n who smiled smally.

"I tried my hardest." Y/n smiled, "I do every year."

"What is this?" Gregor questioned, "All this? For someone who will never see it?"

Y/n's smile went to a flat line, but then he thought- looked at Gregor's armor, that was right. He was a clone, the cloest thing to a properal r memorial or burial was there helmet on a pike.

"That's what's the marigolds are for," Y/n told walking forward next to him, "They guide the souls back to us. I unfortantly can't make much of a path, so I gather as many as I can in one place, it's one way my planet use to honor the dead."

"Use to?" Gregor questioned.

"My home plant went dormaint." Y/n told him, "I try and keep as much as I can alive still."

Gregor frowned, looking away, "I- I'm sorry, you allow me into your house and-"

"No, No it's okay." Y/n spoke, "I understand wanting to know."

Y/n lightly grabbed Gregor's chin, with a light push of his finger's Gregor was looking back at Y/n, eye's catching all too long. Y/n pulled his hand away slowly, clearing his throat only the slightest.

"I'll ask you a question then," Y/n spoke, Gregor nodding.

"You're voice, it cracks and it's higher than than other clones." Y/n commented, "Any reason why?"

Gregor shook his head no, "Suppsoe it was always my little quirk." he chuckled, Y/n smiling, they catching each other's gaze again, but for longer, eyes lingering only one anothers, unlike Gregor, Y/n's were dark dark brown, almost black, with a soft highlight of pastel brown, despite there dark color they were warm and welcoming.

"I," Y/n spoke, "Lets eat?"

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part 1 of 3

Disclaimers and trigger warnings: 

1. These fairytales are European, although there’s often overlap in themes globally. I know European fairytales better, which is essentially the reason I’m not going to branch out too far. I opted to also stick to Western movies so as not to narrow things down, but also in particular “waves hand towards all of Ghibli” amongst many others. There’s a reason the guys in Ghibli are so gender.

2. TW for discussions of rape culture and rape fantasies

EDIT: FUCK I’M A GOBLIN CHILD! FORGOT TO PUT A MASSIVE MASSIVE THANK YOU TO @mimsyaf​ WHO HAS BEEN THE NICEST, KINDEST EDITOR ON THESE THOUGHTS AND CONTRIBUTED SO MUCH TO THEM AND GENERALLY IS A WONDERFUL PERSON!

Part 2

Part 3

1. Introduction

I recently wrote a little thing, which was about Daniel as a fairytale protagonist – specifically one that goes through some of the kinds of transformations that are often associated with female protagonists of fairytales.

I used quotes from Red Riding Hood, Labyrinth, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and Dracula, which, as an aside – the overlap between fairytales, horror, and fantasy and the ways each of those genres delve into very deep, basic questions of humanity and the world is something that will always make me feral. I will be generally sticking with fairytales though. Also I am very excited about some of those Labyrinth concepts going around!

I’m going to use “feminine” and “masculine” in both gendered (as in relating specifically to people) and non-gendered (as in relating to codes) ways throughout this, depending on context.

To be binary for a moment, because sample-sizes of other genders are low, women are usually able to fall into either feminine or masculine arcs, although sometimes the masculine-coded woman can become a “not like the other girls” stereotype and the feminine-coded woman a shallow cliché – in both cases they’re also under more scrutiny and judgement, so it’s always worth asking “is this character not working for me because of the writing or because I have ingrained biases? (Both?)”

Men don’t often get feminine-coded arcs. Because. Probably a mix of biases and bigotry. But there are some that seem to have slipped beneath the shuttered fence of “Sufficient Narrative Testosterone,” and Daniel LaRusso is one of them.

2. Some Dude Comparisons (Men Doing Manly Action-Hero Things like being trans symbolism and loving your girlfriend… seriously those things are hella manly, I wish we saw more of that onscreen…)

a. Neo

Much like Neo The Matrix, whose journey is filled with transgender subtext and specifically and repeatedly references Alice In Wonderland, Daniel doesn’t go through quite the kind of hero's journey usually associated with Yer Standard Male Hero, especially the type found in the 80s/90s.

Neo is my favourite comparison, because of the purposefulness of his journey as a trans narrative and the use of Alice. But I’m sure there are other non-traditional male heroes out there (but are they trans tho? Please tell me, I want trans action heroes).

Neo “passes” as a socially acceptable man, but online goes by a different name - the name he prefers to be known by - feels like there’s something inherently wrong about the world around him and his body’s place in that society, and then gets taken down the rabbit hole (with his consent, although without really “knowing” what he’s consenting to) to discover that it’s the world that’s wrong - not him. And by accessing this truth he can literally make his body do and become whatever he wants it to.

Yay. (The message of the Matrix is actually that trans people can fly).

Neo is – kind of like Daniel – a strange character for Very Cis Straight Guys to imprint on. He spends most of the first movie unsure about what’s going on, out of his depth, and often getting beaten up. He is compared to Alice several times and at the end he dies. He loses. He has to be woken up with true love’s kiss, in a fun little Sleeping Beauty/Snow White twist. Yes, after that he can fly, but before that he’s getting dead-named and hate-crimed by The Most Obvious Stand-In For Normativity, Agent Smith, and being carried by people far more physically capable than he is (people who also fall outside of normative existence).

Trinity and Neo in The Matrix. The fact that a lot of the time neither of them is gendered is something. Literally brought to life by true love’s kiss.

I’m not about to argue that Daniel LaRusso is purposefully written along these same thought processes, so much as the luck of the way he was written, cast, directed, acted, and costumed all came together in the right way. And this is even more obvious when compared to That Other Underdog Fite Movie That Was By The Same Director as Karate Kid.

b. Rocky

The interesting thing about Rocky is that he is (despite being a male action icon) also not written as a Traditionally Masculine person. Large portions of Rocky – and subsequent Rocky films – are his fear and insecurity about fighting vs his inability to apply his skills to another piece of work and wanting to do right by his girlfriend (and future wife), Adrian. The fighting is most often pushed onto him against his will.

Much like in Karate Kid there is barely any fighting in Rocky I. Most of it is dedicated to how much Rocky loves Adrian and the two of them getting together. The fight is – again like in Karate Kid – a necessary violence, rather than a glorified one (within the plot, obviously watching any movie like this is also partly about the badassness of some element of the violence – whether stamina or the crane kick, it’s all about not backing down against a more powerful opponent).

Rocky is played by Sylvester Stallone. He’s tough, he’s already a fighter (albeit in the movie not a great one yet), he’s taking the fight for cash – so although he’s also soft-spoken and sweet, you’re aware of the fact that he’s got those traits that’d make a male audience go “Hell Yeah, A Man,” or whatever it is a male audience does watching movies like that… cis straight men imprinting on oiled muscle men sure is a strange phenomenon, why do you wanna watch a boxing match? So you can watch toned guys groaning and grappling with each other? Because you want to feel like A Man by allowing yourself to touch the skin of other men?

Apollo and Rocky in Rocky III. This sequence also includes prolonged shots of their crotches as they run. Sylvester Stallone directed this. This was intentional. Bros.

Daniel LaRusso is not built like that. But that doesn’t really have to matter. Being smallish and probably more likely to be described as “pretty” than handsome, and not having a toxic masculine bone in his body does not a feminine archetype make. It just makes a compelling (and pretty) underdog. 

c. Daniel

So where does the main difference really lie? Between Rocky and Daniel? Well, Rocky has the plot in his hands – Daniel, largely, does not. Rocky is acting. Daniel is reacting or being pushed into situations by others. Just like our boy Neo. Just like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Snow White – just like some of the women in some contemporary(ish) fairytale films like Buttercup (Princess Bride), Dorothy (Wizard of Oz), or Sarah (Labyrinth).

This isn’t a necessary negative about stories about girls and women, so much as looking at what it is girls and women in fairytales have/don’t have, what they want, and how they’re going to get it. It’s about power (lack of), sexuality (repressed, then liberated), men, and crossing some taboo lines. It’s also about queerness.

3. The Karate Kid Part One: Leaving Home

Daniel LaRusso is a poor, skinny, shortish kid (played by a skinny, shortish twenty-two-year old) who doesn’t fit in after having been taken away from the home he was familiar with against his will. Not every male protagonist in a fairytale leaves of his own will, and not every female protagonist leaves under duress – Red Riding Hood, for example, seems perfectly happy to enter the forest. However generally a hero is “striking out to make his fortune,” and generally a heroine is fleeing or making a bargain or being married off or waiting for help to arrive. She is often stuck (and even Red Riding Hood requires saving at some point).

Daniel then encounters a beautiful, lovely girl on the beach, puts on a red hoodie (red is significant), is beaten up by a large, attractive bully, loses what little clout he may have had with his new friends, and generally has a mostly miserable time until he befriends and is saved by Mr Miyagi. To do a little Cinderella comparison: Miyagi is the fairy godmother who pushes Daniel to go to the ball in disguise as well, and that disguise falls to pieces as he’s running away.

Then Daniel asks for help, Miyagi gets him enrolled in a Karate Tournament, and starts teaching him. Daniel wins the tournament and gets the girl, the end.

While Daniel has chutzpah and is a wonderful character, none of the big events are initiated by him, except for the initial going to the forest/beach (and within all of these events Daniel absolutely makes choices – I’m not saying he’s passive): Lucille takes them to California, Miyagi pushes him to go to the dance, Miyagi again decides to enroll him in the tournament and trains him, and only because Kreese doesn’t allow for any other option, Ali is the one who more often than not approaches Daniel, and even their first encounter is pushed by Daniel’s friends.

Daniel really is at a dance/ball in disguise and receives a flower from a girl who recognises him through said disguise, it’s unbearable! It’s adorable! I get it Ali, I fucking get it!

Daniel’s main journey within this – apart from not getting killed by karate thugs (love u Johnny <3) and kissing Ali – is to learn from Miyagi. He’s not necessarily a full-on feminine fairytale archetype at this point, although there are fun things to pull out of it, mainly in the context of later films and Cobra Kai: the subtext of karate and how that builds throughout all the stories, the red clothes, the themes of obsession, his being targeted by boys whose masculinity is more than a little bit toxic and based on shame… more on all that coming up.

He doesn’t technically get a home until they build him a room at Miyagi’s place, but he definitely leaves the woods at the end of this one, trophy lifted in the air after being handed to him by a tearful Johnny and all.

And then they made a sequel.

4. The Karate Kid Part Two: Not Out Of The Woods Yet

Daniel’s won the competition, Kreese chokes out Johnny for daring to lose and cry, more life-lessons are given (for man without forgiveness in heart…) and Daniel and Ali break-up off-screen, confirming that TKK1 was not really about the girl after all, which, despite Daniel and Kumiko having wonderful chemistry, is also an ongoing theme. Daniel enters the screen in The Most Baby-Blue Outfit seen since Tiana’s dress in Princess and the Frog? Or that dress in Enchanted? Maybe Cinderella’s (technically silver, but later depicted as blue)? 

(Sidenote: At everyone who says Sam ought to wear a callback to that suit,  you are correct and sexy).

Surprise, Miyagi’s building him a room.

Double-surprise, Miyagi needs to go to Okinawa.

Triple surprise, Daniel reveals he’s going with him, because he’s his son dammit.

The Karate Kid Part Two is maybe the least Daniel-LaRusso-Feminine-Fairytale-Protagonist of the three, because it’s not really his movie. Daniel runs around with Kumiko (aka the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen), continues to be The Best Non-Toxic Boy a middle-aged Okinawan karate master could ask for, lands himself another Built Karate Rival (twice is just a coincidence, right? Right?), and eventually doesn’t die while wearing red again – twice: When Chozen almost strangles him to death at the Miyagi dojo and then during the final fight. The Saving Of The Girl (both the little girl in the storm and Kumiko) actually puts him in a more traditional masculine space than the previous movie did, even if the main theme of the film is about compassion and kindness and by the end, once more the boy whose masculinity is built on rockhard abs and matchsticks is on his knees. Daniel just has that power over big boys. It’s called kick/punch them in the face hard enough that they see stars.

There’s an aside to be made here about how much Daniel really is an observer in other peoples stories in this, although he is the factor that sends both Chozen and Kumiko into completely different directions in life (Chozen and Kumiko main characters when?) Anyway he comes out of it presumably okay, despite being almost killed. Maybe a few therapy sessions and he’ll get over it. Too bad Terry Silver is lurking around the corner…

5. The Karate Kid Part Three: The Big Bad Wolf

Alright people have written Words about the third movie. It’s fascinating. It’s odd. It’s eye-straining. It’s like olives – you’re either fully onboard the madness or it’s too off-putting for you (or you’re like. Eh, don’t see what all the fuss is about either way...). It’s basically a non-consensual secret BDSM relationship between a guy in his thirties (played by a Very Tall twenty-seven year old Thomas Ian Griffith) and a 17/18 year old (played by a shorter twenty-eight year old Ralph Macchio).

Also recently we got more information on Mr. Griffith’s input on the uh… vibes of the film. Apparently it wasn’t just The Sweetness of Ralph Macchio’s face, the screenplay (whatever that amounted to in the first place – release the script!), the soundtrack, the direction to not tone it down under any circumstances, the fact that Macchio categorically refused to play a romance between himself and an actress who was sixteen, no: it was also TIG coming up with fun ways to torture Daniel’s character and suggesting these to the director. Clearly everyone has fun hurting Mr Macchio (including Mr Macchio).

The point is that aaallll of that amounts to that Intense Homoerotic Dubiously-Consented-To D/s subtext that haunts the movie and gives a lot of fun stuff to play with. It’s also a film that – if we’re analysing Daniel along feminine-coded fairytale lines recontextualises his role in this universe.

The Fairytale goes topsy-turvy. Through the looking glass. Enter Big Bad Wolf stage right. Karate is a metaphor for Daniel’s bisexual awakening. 

“Oh, when will an attractive man touch me in ways that aren’t about hurting me?” he asks after two movies of being hurt by boys with rippling muscles. “Why do men continue to notice me only to hit me? Do you think wearing red is making me too noticeable? Anyway, Mr Silver looked really good in his gi today.” 

Daniel’s diary must be a trip.

[nkhrchuwuya]

✨ hi!! Good job on the followers!

As for me, My pronouns are she/her. I enjoy reading, drawing, eating. cooking (especially different cultures and stuff!) sleeping and staying in bed at home or playing video games in bed. Im loyal and I’m shy when i first meet people but if once I’m friends with someone I’ve got no problem with talking. I really like getting into discussions sometimes and giving my opinions and have no problem doing so. I also really love cuddling in bed or on the couch it’s just so nice😩. I have 3 dogs and I love them all! I’m planning on getting more because I wanna provide a home for more dogs. Aside from this, I love making people smile and laugh and I’m a bit of a crybaby😅 (I’m not ashamed of it at all!! Expressing your emotions is good!) I also enjoy talking my dogs on a walk and don’t mind the outdoors and for indoors I like watching movies such as comedy and romance/drama and maybeee horror sometimes. That’s all, have a good one!!

hey hey, thank you so much! ✨

chuu stuff for ya:

chuuya loves your strong, not-argumentative but very strongly opinionated nature. he actually loves discussing with you all sorts of random stuff while you guys are doing idle things in the penthouse like cleaning or cooking, because it stimulates his brain and at the same time makes him feel like he's forming a bond with you. it doesn't matter if you guys disagree with something, he's listening.

3 dogs? rip sorry bud chuuya is cheating on you with your dogs, totally! it doesn't matter if they're small, medium, or large, shy or extroverted. he will absolutely love the hell out of them and it'll be super adorable! i hope you don't mind sharing your bed.

added on to that he loves going on walks with you. he knows three dogs might be a handful so he always volunteers to help whenever he can. you probably have a usual route, but chuuya always goes ahead and takes you on a completely different way just so you can enjoy some different scenery. besides, even if you are in unfamiliar territory, he'll be there to protect you.

p.s. don't tell him you want to get more dogs because he will totally match it like you'll get one he'll get one too and the next thing you know you have 8934758394.

he loves to try your experiments on different cultural foods! if there's something he's familiar with too (like he's been there before and had that food somewhere local) he'll definitely be able to offer his help and opinion as well. he's not a master in the kitchen but at least he can figure out if it needs more star anise.

the first time you truly had an all-out cry in front of him- say, because of a video game, not because of a fight or anything- he is absolutely floored. doesn't know what to do, wants to get you to settle down and all that... but when you tell him it's okay and you need to let it out he just holds you tightly and makes sure you know he's there for you regardless of the tears.

you always have a joke or two for him in your pocket and he loves it. especially because you're so good at timing them, exactly when he needs to hear something to uplift his spirits. oppositely, he always has a compliment tucked away in his sleeve for you, and trust me, he will not hesitate to use it.

he would love to enable your little thing for drawing and reading, and should the opportunity arise you will have a little studio-library for yourself, whether that's an entirely different room or at least in a pretty corner. designed by chuu of course, with your guidance. no he's not a great builder so he probably built the desk upside down at first.

chuuya finds you a very refreshing company to be around, especially when a lot of times he finds himself surrounded in a lot of doom and gloom. your openness to your emotions probably influences him too as well, and in time his vulnerability will show itself to you in turn.

[aquilaofarkham]

title: mishpachah rating: T+ word count: 3,085 summary: Five years after rebuilding the manor—and the birth of a new Belmont into the world—Trevor decides to share an old recipe with his newfound family.

For @fibulaa 💛  Thanks so much for commissioning me!

READ HERE

The first bread Trevor Belmont ate while living his newly orphaned vagabond life was so dry it cut at the inner walls of his throat. He swallowed each bite with grimace after grimace, knowing that despite the pain, the already hardened child of thirteen could stave off starvation for a little while longer. Until he tasted the faintest tinge of copper on his ruined tongue.

Putting those years far behind, he now stands in front of a wooden counter, blurry eyed and with a yawn reminiscent of a sun drunk cat. It seems clean at first glance but in every corner Trevor notices fragments of past meals which he tried wiping away once they were finished and placed on a more pristine table meant for family. Bits of salt, half minced vegetables, and crumbs of bread much softer than the ones belonging to a later childhood he would rather forget. This kitchen, warm in its early morning sunlight, was the final instalment of the manor, newly risen from the ashes. Or rather, simply rebuilt thanks to the calloused, blistered, and splintered hands. No more ruined stone, no more fire blackened beams holding together little less than an architectural skeleton. The somewhat mirror image of Trevor’s lost home has been faring better than the castle. Too many memories, fresh, ranging from bitter to incomprehensible.

Slowly, he grows conscious of his surroundings and his own self. A continuing habit of being the first to wake not just in this manor hold but in life. Reluctantly opening his eyes prior to dawn covering the landscape while still traveling alone only to drag a pair of worn boots back along a similar muddy road. Trevor never wanted to wake up before the sun. He just couldn’t bear to stay in the same place for much longer whether due to the laundry list of dangers or more often than not, his newfound hatred of whichever backwater hamlet he unfortunately found himself in.

He’s happy to wake up early. Happy to never feel a need to leave or escape, happy to know that lack of food replaced with pints of liquid pleasure mixed with death will never plague him again. Happy to prepare breakfast in a hot iron pot over a well stoked fire. What he thought he lost forever has come back, along with new additions to the family he’s carved out.

Another presence bounds her way into the kitchen and ambushes Trevor from behind. He’s not old—not yet, he’ll give it time—but years of drinking have made their permanent stay, dulling the more acute senses. Makes it easier for a five-year-old to catch him off guard. Trevor’s eyes bolt open as tiny arms hold him in a tight cage.

“Good morning, papa!”

His ears ring at the sound of Mirele’s loud voice, but at least he won’t have to worry about nodding off. He stares down at the youngest Belmont who looks as though someone had split Trevor and Sypha straight down their centres into four pieces and sewed each differing half onto the other in order to create a new person. A homunculi of messy dark chocolate hair, bright eyes shining with blue ice, full rosy cheeks somehow conspicuously smeared with some sort of dirt or jam, and enough energy to wear out an electric powered jackrabbit. 

“How’s my little monster doing this morning?” Everything Trevor says is laced with his own personal touch of affection and Mirele loves it.

“Mama and papa are still asleep. Help me wake them up! Pleaseeee?”

This doesn’t surprise him; Sypha has always preferred to savour her last moments of sleep longer than normal and Alucard is… well, Alucard.

“Tell you what.” Trevor places a lid onto the simmering pot with a heavy clank. “While this heats up for our breakfast, we’ll go wake up those lazy bones.”

“Right!” Hand in smaller hand, the two make their way upstairs into the shadowy master bedchamber. Curtains drawn with only a sliver of light cutting its singular path across the floor and over two distinct lumps covered by blankets and furs. They seem conjoined, linked in each other’s arms, unaware that a third party has been missing for long enough. Mirele plunges into the room first, jumping onto the bed as all children do when parents refuse to join the land of the conscious. She playfully shoves and cuddles her way between the two bodies who sink deeper beneath the covers, lazily moaning like ghosts.

“Mama! Papa! Wake up! It’s time to get up!”

Trevor hopes that his tactic of throwing open the weighted curtains works in a more effective manner. Listening to the rising chorus of wordless protests coming from behind, he’s pleased with the results. “Never thought I would be the one setting a good example for our daughter.”

“Do not get cheeky, especially this early.” Sypha’s response spills out like running water. It’s clear her mind isn’t quite all there yet. But she can scoop Mirele into her arms, find every ticklish spot, and illicit giggles that only canines might hear. “At least we both know how to have fun, right my sweet?”

“Vampires… nocturnal…” A deeper, muffled voice emerges from under one of the pillows.

“Something you’d like to share with us, Alucard?” Trevor quips, amused at how the other father of the household can never seem to shake off his morning dishevelment. Perhaps sleeping in a coffin would help—a very large one so he doesn’t have to be alone. Alucard reluctantly removes the pillow as tangled heaps of gold fall over his face.

“Vampires are supposed to be nocturnal. Would you rather I burst into ashes upon contact with the sun? Think of our girls, Trevor.”

“We’ve all seen you in the sun before, it’s about as dangerous as a clove of garlic.”

“I have my own means of physical protection. Far beyond your measly human comprehension, love.”

“Personally, I’ve been able to comprehend you plenty.”

Mirele stares up at Sypha, her bushy brows furrowed. “What does… comp… sshhheshion mean?”

“It’s just another word your fathers use whenever either of them want to feel smart.” 

Alucard gives Sypha a gentle pinch on either side of her abdomen. “I thought you were on my side.”

“What about my side?” Trevor asks, excelling at the greatest strength he possesses—the ability to never take anything seriously, only when he must.

“I’m hungry,” Mirele speaks up. “Hungry and bored. Can we eat now?”

--

This life is not normal, but then again it is. It always has been for them. Normal once meant coming together because of violence, encroaching darkness, and some flimsy prophecy stringing them along one dead body at a time. A prophecy which never said what had to be done after they followed it to the hard earned letter. Perhaps that’s why Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard floundered afterwards. No instruction on how to live their upturned lives.

Fuck prophecy.

They made this life by their own standards and in accordance with their own desires. They loved how they wanted to love and no prophecy could have foreseen Mirele. How she calls for her father while both Trevor and Alucard turn their heads at the same exact second. How she quickly calms herself when presented with a bowl of warm oatmeal drowning in honey and wild fruits hand plucked from the surrounding forest. But it’s not enough. Nothing ever is for someone always growing, always wanting more from life at such a young age.

“Can I have bread?”

Trevor, half way through his bitter coffee, turns to Sypha then Alucard as all three parental figures exchange glances. They haven’t the heart to tell Mirele. No bread at the ready, only the necessary ingredients and a considerable amount of flour bags to blanket Enisala. There’s the option of making it themselves, yet it depends on a certain someone’s capacity for patience.

“How do you feel about baking our own?” Trevor’s voice wavers, which he tries to mask with his characteristic dry tone. It’s been a long time since he’s made bread. Then again, helping the manor cooks was a somewhat selfish endeavour as it meant extra servings for the baby of the Belmonts. Yet his proposal goes over well with Mirele, whose inherited eyes light up at the prospect of trying something new.

“I wanna make bread! Can we? Can we please?”

“When was the last time you baked anything, Trevor?” Alucard asks, genuinely curious and with a healthy dose of skepticism. “You still won’t tell us much about anything concerning your former life, let alone the sort of foods your family ate.”

Trevor feels a twinge in his gut—still better than a punch. His two lovers, even his daughter, they only know of his mother; a matriarch in her own right. They know her name, the monsters she killed, and not much else. Trevor’s excuses: he doesn’t remember anything about her, despite the fact that he does. He didn’t know her for very long or very well, so there’s no point in missing her. Trevor did know Sonia and he does miss her, sometimes more than he can handle. Then the easiest excuse: it’s just another self-preservation tactic.

Out of this inner reflection comes an idea. It breaks tradition in a way. For the Belmonts and other Jewish families, everything is passed down through the mother—recipes, forms of worship, blood memories, centuries old tactics of bruising one’s knuckles and temples. Trevor doesn’t think this slight deviation from his culture’s norm will make him any less of what he’s always been. Mirele will simply have to pick up where he left off when she’s grown.

He doesn’t want to think about that now. She’s only five after all. One lesson at a time. 

“Alright. Gather round, pupils. The bread we’re making isn’t just any bread. Forget everything you know and everything you’ve been taught because this will be the closest thing to heaven you’ll ever taste.”

“How dramatic…” Sypha mutters under her breath. Alucard joins her amusement with a subdued chuckle. 

“I believe you were partially his influence.”

Trevor knows how much trouble he’ll be in if he puts Mirele through the most agonizing cruelty of waiting a second longer than necessary. Fearful of her pint-sized wrath, he gives everyone the order to start gathering ingredients: flour, eggs, honey, and some indulgent herbs to make this particular bread something special. As much of a strategic leader in the kitchen as he is when the world is coming to an end. With everything spread out on the countertops, Trevor guides his family step by step through the only recipe he remembers. He calls this bread “challah”, which Mirele immediately strains her freshly green vocal chords, trying to pronounce the word exactly as her father does. She quickly gives up and focuses on mixing the ingredients with an intense look—almost to a fault as bits of sloppy dough fly out of the bowl. Good. This enthusiasm is what Trevor wants to see.

Kneaded and allowed time to rise, the next step is the most important. Trevor divides the dough into four halves, then again, and again until each participant has their own handful of raw unbaked strips. 

“We have to braid them?” Mirele asks following his explanation. 

“That’s right. It’s what makes this bread different from all the rest.”

“Just like when papa let’s me braid his pretty hair!”

Every pair of eyes turns to Alucard, whose smile widens in that way which causes his eyes to shut tightly. Fangs happily bared as he pulls Mirele into his flour and dough covered arms while she giggles in delight. After they all return to work, her loaf turns out the same way as the braids she gives to him—lopsided, uneven, lacking a few outsticking stray hairs, but filled with affection and genuine resolve.

Three loaves are placed into the oven, including a fourth crudely constructed but still adequately done piece. Mirele is now more willing to play the waiting game—so she claims. Sitting in front of the oven while staring directly into its insides, utterly fascinated, oblivious to her surroundings. Unaware that her three parents are whispering behind her back. Eventually, Sypha has to gently pull her away with her bottom dragging along the kitchen floor.

“How about you and I do something a little more interesting while your fathers keep watch over things.”

“But what about the c… the calla!”

“Don’t worry, they will look after it. And we are not going far, my sweet.”

“We’ll make sure nothing burns down.” Trevor assures, despite it being Sypha who usually revels in cinders and ashes, intentionally or not.

The two retreat down the corridor past diamond shaped stained windows and into one of the manor’s smaller libraries where the cabinets reach the high ceiling painted in deep blue hues. Scattered from corner to corner are constellations of stars and midnight clouds obscuring each phase of the moon. Once when Alucard found Mirele curiously asleep atop a number of pillows when she should have been in her own bed, it was his decision to paint the library in new colours. Sypha moves aside an entire shelf of thick volumes as though trying to find a carefully hidden switch that will lead them into a secret chamber. It’s what Mirele hopes but turns mildly disappointed when the books do not in fact magically shift to reveal a stone passageway. Her soured anticipation is only countered when Sypha places a box on the desk.

“Can you guess what’s inside?”

“Is it treasure?”

“Close! You are almost right.” Sypha opens the lid just as Pandora did except there are no horrors, no evils to be wrought upon humanity. Mirele peeks inside and her eyes shine with the glistening silver of trinkets, pendants, and talismans. She resists the innate urge to reach her hands, still white with flour, into the box only to briefly experience the sensation of holding one between her fingers. Even children know when something is sacred.

“These belonged to your grandparents. They used them for protection and strength. A long time ago, before you were born, their home burned down and everything was destroyed.”

“Papa’s home?”

Sypha nods, grateful that this story now has its happy ending, slight as it may be. “However, when your other father started building the manor we live in, he found this box trapped amongst all the rubble. It managed to survive.”

“What do they say?”

Mirele points to one pendant molded in the shape of a sword. Inscribed along the curve of its ash-riddled blade are the Hebrew names of angels which must have been muttered by Sonia or Gabriel. The longer Mirele stares, attempting to decipher yet another new language, the brighter her cheeks grow red with frustration. Her mother acts quick just as her eyes begin to water. 

“It’s alright if you don’t understand what any of them say.”

“I can learn! Please, mama? I promise I’ll study really hard!”

Sypha’s lips curl as Mirele continues her begging. Oh the mind of a child. How quickly it changes.

--

The kitchen feels hotter, wafting through the air. Enveloping the room and everything caught between its walls. Trevor stands by the oven, a thick cloth ready in his hand. It shouldn’t take much longer. At least there’s no stench of something burning. Almost makes him pine for the days of his family’s massive stone oven and how he would sneak around at night and pick out leftover morsels from inside like an insatiable mouse. Not unlike the actual beasts which he hunted throughout the hallways before moving onto larger prey typical of a Belmonts’ work—or as large as his own runtish body mass could handle.

Minutes of quiet pass, still eyeing the loaves with a keen gaze. Trevor’s concentration soon broken by the feeling of two arms wrapping around his softening yet still robust midsection. Slow and careful, until his back is pressed against an equally broad chest.

“Can I help you?” He asks as Alucard buries his face into the curvature of his shoulder blades.

“You’re already helping.” The dhampir, unchanging in his physical appearance (a revelation both Trevor and Sypha refuse to acknowledge for the time being), tightens his embrace.

“Something wrong?”

“No… I just enjoy feeling how much softer and warmer you’ve become.”

Trevor’s cheeks blush ever so pinker and not because of the oven’s heat. By now he should be used to Alucard’s sudden bouts of outward affection.

“You even smell better.”

There it is. Trevor thought he would be waiting forever to hear that little jab, though said with nothing but a good heart.

“That might be the herbs you’re smelling.”

Alucard shifts around so that the two of them are side by side, cheek to cheek, as he chuckles in Trevor’s ear. “Come here.”

He doesn’t offer a kiss, not where Trevor was expecting. Instead of his lips, Alucard singles out every patch of stray flour on his face, kissing, wiping, even licking them clean. Cheek, jawline, and nose. Trevor’s expression twists into a ticklish, surprisingly delighted facade. 

“You’re a half vampire, not a cat.”

“Better to clean you now than later.”

“Always so fucking odd…”

“You love it.”

Much to his lucky stars, Trevor manages one curse mere seconds before Sypha and Mirele return. They let their daughter speak at a breakneck speed neither one can fully comprehend—something about silver pieces and whether they can teach her a new language—until one series of questions finally sticks.

“Is the bread ready yet? Can we eat it now? Can we please?”

Trevor placates Mirele by revealing the fruits of their joint hard earned labour: four freshly baked and perfectly shined challah loaves each representative of whoever did the braiding. She bounces in her chair before simmering down to an excited tremble once Trevor warns her of how they need to cool. In order to make this more of a meal, he rummages about in search of two other beacons from his childhood. He’s rewarded with one of the few fresh apples they have left while Sypha, ever in tune with his inner thoughts, grabs another small pot of honey for him.

Trevor thanks her by gently running his palm across her lower abdomen, over the growing bump. He keeps it there for just a second longer, a subtle gesture of love noticed by Sypha. Fingertips intertwined with each other, they join Alucard and Mirele at the table as the midday sun shines golden through the windows.