#but at least my mom and i made homemade mac n cheese and tried not to cry together !

[ageofevermore]

.

[creativeashproductions]

Back to the 118 // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: Buck meets the firefighter he replaced as the reader transfers back to the 118. The reader never expected to fall for a co-worker the first day back at the 118 after two years spent at the 155 in Los Feliz.

Warnings: Swearing, sickness, hospitals, health issues, pregnancy, angst and a shit ton of fluff

Words: 5.9k

A/N: So this is obviously a modern au for jatp to fit in the 911 universe. To make this work, Buck replaced Reader instead of Tommy after many failed probies. Eddie then later replaced Tommy.

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Masterlist

Your e/c eyes scanned the outward appearance of the first firehouse you’d worked at fresh out of the Academy. The place that had become a second home from the increased tension-filled house your parents still lived in. A place you had escaped as quickly as you could for a dream career. A career your parents hadn’t been proud of in the beginning, with the danger that came with being a firefighter paramedic.

“You the new recruit?”

Your eyes fell from the building to the male individual standing near the open bay the engine and ladder truck both used. The male in question must have joined the 118 after you transferred to the 155. The stranger towered at least six feet minimum with blue eyes and short blonde hair with the slightest wave.

“No-”

“Flint!” The excited voice of the only other female paramedic called out. You only saw dark navy before you were pretty much tackled.

Hen and Chimney had equally taken you under their wings when you initially joined as a rookie. You’d been the second female firefighter-paramedic at the 118 and the youngest by far. As if you’d summoned him, you felt the arms of Chimney sandwich you against Hen.

“Flint?” The stranger parroted, blinking his eyes at the rather unusual scene of Chimney and Hen wrapped around an unknown girl.

“What are you doing here?” Chimney questioned, stepping back. Hen scoured your entire form for any differences that had occurred.

“Y/N decided to come home,” Bobby spoke from a few feet behind the reunion with the beaming smile on his features. His lips pulled into a smile directed at the first recruit he’d taken on his first year at the 118.

“Bobby!” You grinned, meeting the father figure in the middle of the distance between you two. Bobby wrapped you up in his arms tightly, a certain lightness cocooning the Captain as he took in his friends.

“You’re back here?”

“Everything is squared back at home now, thankfully, and while I loved working with the 155, it wasn’t home. This will always be home.”

“Buck, this is Y/N Patterson. She worked her first two years with the 118 before transferring to the 155 in Los Feliz. Y/N, this is one of our newest members, Evan Buckley.” Bobby gestured towards the previously nameless firefighter.

“Who would leave the 118?” Buck questioned, unable to come up with a valid reason to leave the family at 118.

Buck’s opinion didn’t stand with his only workplace after successfully becoming a firefighter solely was the 118. Never had he worked in another firehouse. He’d been a fire marshall and volunteered his time in the Austin wildfire, but he always came home to the 118.

“Family issues.”

2018, Firehouse 118, Los Angeles

A fresh-faced, albeit dirty from sweat and soot, jumped down from the engine truck’s high steps. The synchronized slam of doors sounded from your colleagues and friends Hen and Chimney. All three individuals famished for the casserole Bobby had premade during the slow morning.

“Baked Mac n’ Cheese.” Tommy breathed from his position by the driver side. Tommy Kinard was a stoic man towering over six feet. He was always a gentle giant after you’d bonded after a hard call.

“Clean up, and I’ll have it in the oven. It’s Chimney’s time to make the salad and Flint’s turn to set the table.” Bobby spoke with barely a glance to the ground ahead of him. 

Your Captain jogged towards the stairs, whereas his team made their way to the locker rooms for a well-deserved shower. You and Hen split away from Tommy and Chimney to the women’s locker room that had gotten an upgrade.

Well, before you joined the Academy, the locker room had been used as a glorified game room, all thanks to the misogynist Captain from hell. Hen often had over the years mentioned how lucky you got with Bobby being your first Captain.

“Chimney better not put those onions like he did last time.” You spoke from under the stream of warm water. Nothing beat the warmth of a shower near the end of your shift erasing the evidence of your job.

“Man needs to learn the complimentary salad to the main dish.” Hen piped up from across the shower room.

You and Hen had both showered and redressed in a fresh uniform in under five minutes, the dirty one placed in a laundry bag. You’d managed to beat the boys to the upstairs by a few seconds. Enough to set half of the able before Chimney began to making his salad of choice.

“Looks great, Cap.” Tommy complimented the gooey homemade pasta Bobby religious made every third Thursday. He alternated between pasta recipes with the odd new recipe every once in a while.

“What are you waiting for? The bell?” Bobby quipped to the unmoving bunch of hungry individuals. His words started the boisterous meal time preceding the end of shift.

“So, we’re halfway through dinner and Amber-” Your phone interrupted the disaster date Tommy had begun telling. He continued as soon as you waved him to go ahead while you took the call.

“Hello?” You breathed into the phone.

“Hi, sweetheart.” The warmth infused in your mom’s voice soothed the ruffled feathers from the call you’d come back from, “How are you?”

“I’m good! We just finished eating. My shift is almost over, and I’ll have to go straight to the store for groceries-”

“Y/N, we found him.”

The him was easy to figure out given your brother had run away from home three months prior with only his dreams in mind. You’d spent most of your off time, sometimes even during shift out on a call, to scan the environment for Luke. You became a regular in questioning hospitals and homeless shelters.

“Where was he?”

“His band had been about to play at some big venue last night.” Mom’s word choice concerned you. Her voice dripped with sadness instead of the typical disappointment and annoyance on anything to do with Sunset Curve.

“Mom, what’s going on?”

“A few nights ago, the boys got hotdogs-”

“Streetdogs.” You interrupted with evident anger in your tone at the mention of those death dogs Luke consumed. You can’t even give a number to how many times you had told him how unsanitary and dangerous the food is.

“Something was wrong with the food. They got ill fast. Alex and Reggie are being kept for observation but will be found with a few days of rest.”

“What about Luke?”

“He tried to call 911; he was weak and fell. Y/N, he hit his head. He’s in the ICU in a coma.” Emily Patterson’s voice cracked as soon as she acknowledged the current state of her youngest child.

The colours of the world dulled as soon as your mind clicked that Luke was in the hospital. Your little brother had put himself in danger all because he had a big dream. Your mind flashed through your life growing up with him.

You remembered talking to your mom’s growing bump when she was pregnant with Luke. You remembered five-year-old Luke unable to settle unless you sang to him. Your voice was nothing special, but it soothed the little boy when he had a nightmare. You could vividly recall teaching Luke how to play the guitar when he was thirteen; the brunette a complete natural at it.

“What’s his prognosis?”

“Too early to tell. The doctor is hoping Luke will be in a general room after tomorrow if the swelling goes down. I wanted you to know as soon as possible.”

“How’s Dad?”

Emily hesitated from her position by a hospital bed. Her brown eyes carefully scanning the male sleeping soundly in the bed.

“Mom?”

“Your father had a heart attack last night. That’s why I haven’t been able to tell you sooner. He’s currently sleeping, but he’ll have a barrage of tests later today-”

“I’ll be there as soon as my shif-”

“No. Don’t drop anything. I can keep you up.”

“Excuse my language, but there’s no way in hell I’m staying away from my family. I’ll take a few days off. I’ll see you in a couple hours.” Your thumb tapped the red circle on the bottom of your screen.

The 118 didn’t bother pretending they hadn’t been watching your form during your phone call. Bobby felt like something had drastically changed in a few minutes you’d been busy on the phone.

“Everything okay?” Bobby inquired from his position at the kitchen sink. His hands in the sudsy water to scrub the empty pan.

“My brother and my father are in hospital. I’m gonna need some days off.” You informed your boss with a look of utter defeat coating your expression.

Those few days transitioned to transferring to the closest firehouse to your childhood home and the hospital. The medical bills from both your brother and father had begun to overwhelm your mother with the current single source of income. Emily didn’t ask you for anything, but you started renting the home you’d bought for extra money.

It was a silent agreement that you paid rent as a cover to helping with the bills piling up.

Present Day, Firehouse 118

Buck followed behind the welcoming group to the girl that seemed larger than life. Buck was impressed by the sacrifice you’d made for the good of your family. You’d willingly given up the family of the 118. Buck didn’t know if he could do the same.

“Welcome back.” Hen cheered on her guidance to the heaven everyone called the kitchen. Your department issue duffle bag dropped out of the wall on the top level.

Your eyes zeroed in on the spread of your favourite foods prepared by the only person aware of your return. It was only one look of gratitude towards the father figure before everyone dug in.

A few changes had occurred since you’d last sat at this table. Tommy Kinard had left the 118 for the 217 shortly after your departure. He’d been replaced by the ready to impress Buck. One thing that hadn’t changed was the delicious food Bobby made.

Your eyes found the sole empty chair at the long table, “Didn’t you say the house took on two new recruits since I left?”

“Buck took your position when you left. We had a revolving door of firefighters before Buck permanently joined.” Chimney supplied with a mouth full of lettuce and grated carrot. Hen whacked his arm for his lack of manners.

“You’ll meet Eddie on the next shift. He took the day off. It’s his son’s first birthday since his mom died.” Bobby informed you with that pinched wrinkle between his eyebrows, “He joined after Tommy left.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet the entire team.” You replied, looking past to the circular table behind Bobby’s spot. Sam and Ryan both waved happily upon catching sight of you back at your unspoken seat.

You listened intently as Hen shared the changes Denny had gone through in the time you’d been away. Chimney was ecstatic to point out the faint scar on his forehead.

“You had rebar go through your skull, and you’re completely fine?” You questioned, floored by the pure luck Chimney had.

“Oh, it was nasty. Went in from the back of the skull to the front.” Buck spoke enthusiastically, recounting the scene. Chimney deadpanned a look at his younger coworker, “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s like you never had it happen.”

“Doc was shocked at how positive the outcome and healing was. I was back at work within a month on light duty. I beat my record getting in my turnout gear.” 

“And yet my little brother was comatose for two months.” You grumbled under your breath. None of the people could make out the words, but the grimace on your face was enough to show them it was personal.

In true 118 fashion, the bell rang throughout the firehouse with the disembodied voice declaring the type and location. Yoru e/c eyes found Buck climbing into the driver’s seat where Tommy had once commandeered. It was odd not having the man who’d became an older brother to you.

“How’re your parents?” Hen questioned, sitting diagonally from you. Her fingers repositioning the radio on her chest.

“Dad’s recovering pretty good. Mom’s started attending her knitting club again.” 

Buck’s eyes raised to the rearview mirror to meet yours in interest, “What happened?”

“Uh...my dad had a heart attack a couple years ago. He took a long time to recover with the further stress that caused it.” You piped up, understanding the news would come out at some point, “My little brother was in an accident that left him in a coma. Life was just as messy after he woke up.”

“He’s okay?” Chimney questioned, “I know we’ve never met them, but it really gutted you.”

“Well, physically, he’s fine, but emotionally he’s upset. He was in a band, and when he came out of the coma, he found out some devastating news.” You continued to explain, but unfortunately, or maybe, fortunately, you’d come to the scene.

It was a little known place most teenagers discovered as a hang out spot just on the edge between your county and the next. The location was the infamous spot of cliff jumping; you knew because this was something you’d recklessly done in high school.

“He’s over here!” A blonde male of average height called from the edge of the cliff. His blue eyes were bright even from this distance, matching the detailing on his swim trunks.

Surrounding the edge with the boy was a group of teenagers his age, all in different versions of swimsuits. You found the scared brown eyes of a beautiful girl you vaguely knew from the few shows of Sunset Curve you had watched. Her dark blonde hair plaited out of her face. Her face clicked as Carrie Wilson, Bobby’s sister or cousin.

You jogged towards the edge of the cliff to look over. It was easily between fifteen to twenty feet from the edge of the cliff to the water. You recognized Hen crouching by your side, looking at what you were looking at.

On the rocks was a prone body of a teenage male with bruises already forming on his face from where you could see. His thick shoulder-length hair laid still half in the ponytail and around his head.

“Head trauma.” You murmured to Hen, scanning from a distance, “I can’t tell much from this height and angle.”

“Either a broken tibia or fibula. Spinal injury is definitely a concern.”

“Okay, his name is Willie Young. He’s eighteen years old. His sister Kayla was dared to jump off by doing some kind of flip. Willie took her dare and didn’t jump far enough or tripped over a rock.” Bobby listed having been talking with the group of teenagers all shook up.

“I can rappel-” Buck began to speak before you cut him off firmly.

“It would take too long, and the angle is difficult. Nobody rappels down it; the cliff isn’t stable enough. It crumbles pretty easy, and the unofficial name of this cliff is Devil’s Dive.” Your eyes found Carrie’s tear-filled once and the utter devastation in who you pegged as Kayla.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve jumped off this cliff for years as a teenager. You’re looking at the resident champion of self reckless endangerment at Devil’s Dive.” 

Hen, Chimney and Bobby each stared, shocked at your revelation of stupid teenager decisions.

“Then how are we gonna get down there,” Buck questioned, staring at the unconscious teenager lying on the rocks.

“Easy, I can jump from here into the water and climb onto the rocks to where Willie is. I have the experience of how and where to jump safely.” You spoke to your Captain with complete confidence in your abilities, “You can lower down the kit, radio and backboard by a rope. There’s a mansion beyond the trees that you can ask to borrow a boat from the owner. He’s eccentric and questionable but nice enough.”

Bobby nodded his head to your plan. You unbuttoned your uniform shirt to strip down to the department t-shirt with the emblem on your chest and across your back. You kept the boots and emptied your pockets of anything. The butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the height of the cliff you hadn’t jumped from in years.

“I’ll jump where-”

“Excuse me?” You scoffed at Buck’s assumption he could follow you.

“You’ll need another pair of hands to roll him on the backboard. I don’t have anyone waiting for me at home. This is kinda what I do. Bobby cleared it already.” Buck shrugged with a half-smirk on his handsome face.

With a roll of your eyes, you quickly gave Buck a rundown on how to jump correctly before you tossed yourself off the cliff. The cold water momentarily shocked your system as soon you submerged under the water. You swam to the surface before swimming towards the rocks. Willie hadn’t moved an inch.

“Whoa! That was so cool!” Buck cheered once he’d appeared on the surface of the water, “No wonder you used to do that!” 

His excitement both annoyed and amused you, “Eh. I was just an idiot kid who thought they were invincible.”

The two firefighters lifted themselves onto the rock formation, where blood stained the rock. While Buck retrieved the backboard and essentials from the rope, your hands moved across Willie’s body, checking for breaks. You caught the c-collar Buck tossed without looking. You quickly but gently put the collar on Willie.

“Hi, Willie. My name is Y/N, and I’m a paramedic. I’m gonna check you over for injuries.” You informed the teenager closely. You’d only just opened his eyes to flash a light on them, “Buck let Bobby know Willie’s pupils are reactive to light and the same size.”

“Got it!” Buck called out from the open medkit, “I’ll splint his leg.”

“W-what happened?” Willie wheezed sluggishly. His brown eyes were unfocused.

“You got hurt trying to jump off the cliff. You’re in good hands, Willie. I’m a paramedic with the Los Angeles Fire Department. This is my coworker Buck.”

“Kayla?”

“Perfectly safe, but you did give her a scare. Willie, can you feel this?” Buck questioned, gently touching his right foot. Buck and you both gave a sigh of relief as Willie confirmed he felt it.

 “Okay, we’re gonna roll you on to the backboard. On three: one, two, three.” You counted before rolling Willie on his side with Buck. Willie’s cry echoed around the surrounding as you settled him on the board.

“Need a ride?” Chimney asked as a very nice boat floated towards the three people on the rocks. Hen and Bobby helped load Willie onto the boat, “Mr. Covington agreed to let us use the boat if we don’t get blood on the seats.”

“Can you call my boyfriend?” Willie sluggishly asked when he was loaded into the ambulance on the cliff. Kayla sliding into the seat in the back of the ambulance with their items.

“Alex is meeting us at the hospital.” Kayla told her older brother, “You absolute idiot! You should have just let me jump!”

“And let you be in the back of the ambulance? Dad would kill me if I had let you do it.” Willie scoffed. Their conversation was silent as Chimney and Buck closed the back doors of the ambulance.

Bobby, Buck and you climbed into the fire truck to follow the ambulance to the closest hospital. Hen and Chimney rolled the gurney to the doors with Kayla hot on their heels. You’d just turned to head back to the truck when you saw three teens loitering near the entrance.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You grumbled, marching away from Bobby and Buck to the teen who was supposed to be in class.

Luke had been forced into private tutoring to catch up to his friends in his grades, meaning every afternoon. The watch on your wrist confirmed Luke was definitely supposed to be with his tutor at the community centre.

“Luke!” You shouted, stomping right up to the wide-eyed teen.

Luke’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as his older intimidating sister caught him like his hand was in the cookie jar. You didn’t give Reggie or Alex a second look while you gripped Luke’s ear to tug him away.

“Ow!” Luke whined from the angle you dragged him at.

“What the hell are you doing across the city? You’re supposed to be in your session that our parents are paying a great deal for.” You snapped, crossing your arms in your wet t-shirt.

“We need every chance we can to-”

“Make it big in the industry.” You parroted the past discussions on Luke’s dream as a band, “Do you remember how I got mom and dad off your back? An agreement that you finish high school on time. Not dropping out.”

“So many musicians have dropped out! Green Day’s frontman dropped out his senior year to focus on the band. Several others like Elton John and Kurt Cobain!” Luke enthused, gesturing with his hand to emphasize his words.

“Luke.” You warned, “It’s either catch by with a tutor with some time dedicated to your band, or it’s a military school.”

Luke’s hazel eyes minimally widened, “They would-”

Your stoic expression stayed the same as the energetic seventeen-year-old bounced in his spot across from you. 

“There’s only so much I can do before you lose everything. I know you feel anxious after what all happened, but music isn’t going anywhere.” You reached to squeeze Luke’s hand in yours, “So, I’ll clear it with my boss to have you ride the bus to the station. You’ll have your tutor sessions with my supervision, so I know you’re attending.”

“Y/N!” Bobby called from next to the firetruck, “We gotta go.”

“I’m guessing the Alex that Willie is dating your best friend?” You questioned with one raised eyebrow. Luke nodded in response, “Let mom know you had to be there for Alex. She’ll let skipping your session go this once.”

“Thanks!” Luke chimed, lunging to hug you. Your mouth barely opened before he was racing towards a jittery Alex and a grinning Reggie.

Reggie lifted his arm to wave with his flushed cheeks a darker red colour. You found Reggie’s crush on you to be absolutely adorable. He was a friendly kid.

“He looks good for a kid who was in a coma not long ago.” Hen breathed as the teenager entered the ER with his best friends beside him.

“Oh, he healed quickly. He was crushed after he fully recovered from his head injury.”

“That was your brother?” Buck inquired, and he was just as focused on your features as he had since he first met you. 

“Yeah! He was in a coma for ten months when he was sixteen. He’s spent the last two years catching on on school to graduate with his friends. Well hopefully. He’s dead set on dropping out.” You heavily sighed, leaning your temple on the glass window, “He was supposed to be at a tutoring session. I’ll be chaperoning to make sure he goes.”

“If you need to have them at the station, send me a schedule, and I’ll make it work. Luke’s just as much family as you are.”

The rest of the shift was smooth sailing as Buck followed you around with the sole purpose of getting to know you. The friendship came naturally to the two of you. He didn’t hold back with you like he did with others. Fridays off became hangouts that varied from just Buck and you to spend it with Eddie and Christopher.

Everyone could see Buck had developed feelings for you and vice versa. Unlike the man Buck used to be, he was cautious. He wanted to do this right. And Buck did. With the help of Christopher, he asked you out.

Months Later

Buck’s eyes fluttered open in the dim lighting of your new home’s bedroom he often found himself in. Before, you had alternated staying at his apartment or yours before a significant change happened. Luke moved in to finish his senior year with the help of your tutoring, as agreed with your parents. That led to you giving up your former home, the one that coincidentally Buck’s sister Maddie had rented from you.

“Luke! You better be awake!” Your voice came from the main floor of the home. Your voice alone seduced the firefight to leave the warm sheets.

His bare feet pattered down the hardwood floor stairs into the kitchen coated in all different kinds of breakfast food. Waffles to imported maple syrup to bacon spread across the counter.

“Morning,” Buck grumbled, stepping up behind you to tug you against his chest.

Unlike Buck’s softer footsteps, your little brother tore down the stairs like a stampede of elephants. Luke wore a vintage band shirt modified sleeveless; you’d be getting a voicemail about dress code violations. The chains hanging off his black jeans.

“You have to hurry, Lu. Buck and I can’t be late. He needs to get to his apart-”

“I don’t see why he doesn’t just move in. He’s here almost every night. He helps buy groceries.” Luke’s hazel eyes stared at the plate he towered food on.

Buck raised one eyebrow in response, “You just moved in. You should be settled before we make-”

“Dude. Your lease is up in like a month; just move in already. No feathers will be ruffled. Besides, the band’s taking off now that Nick got his dad Ryan to check our music out.” Luke sprouted with a beaming smile at the good news his new band received.

After Luke had recovered from that coma, he’d woken up in a world where Alex, Reggie and Bobby, no Trevor, now continued the band. Then when Alex and Reggie couldn’t go on, the rhythm guitarist betrayed Luke. He stole every song he could get his hands on and proved successful.

“Ryan Evans, right? His sister’s some bigshot on Broadway? Sharpay, right?” You questioned recalling in the early 2000s the success of Sharpay and Ryan in some kind of Disney films based on them.

“You’re about to be the sister and brother-in-law of a certified rockstar.” Luke’s attempt at smirking made him look like a chipmunk with full cheeks of food, “I don’t need a ride. Alex’s picking me up.”

“Straight to school, Luke. You’ve got two weeks left before you can leave that behind.” Buck pointed his coffee cup in the direction of the passionate musician. Luke returned a smile of acknowledgement.

The kitchen was quiet as Luke shoved as much food in his mouth in such little time while you watched. In a flash, he’d stuck his dishes in the dishwasher before sprinting out to the van beeping continuously.

“Think we can have you moved in by tomorrow? Your one-bedroom place will be a little cramped for five people.” You simply spoke as you rinsed your coffee cup out. You could hear the wheels in Buck’s brain turning as he thought.

“Five people?”

“Yeah. Luke, Albert, me, you and baby Buckley.”

The entire home went completely still as the announcement bled into the house you’d made a home. One hand resting against the smoothness of your belly. That hand covered by the calloused one of Buck’s. His blue eyes gleaming in utter adoration and excitement.

“Baby Buckley?” Buck marvelled, turning you to face him with tears running down your cheeks, “You’re pregnant?”

“I am. I guess we’re giving Maddie’s daughter a cousin.” You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Now I’m obligated to see your parents regularly, and I still grimace at the first introduction.” Buck winced, recalling the foot in mouth syndrome he’d developed.

Buck had never been as nervous as in this moment. Not when he had to tell his parents the first time he got kicked out of college. Or when his teenage self sat beside one of his flings waiting for the results of a pregnancy test. Not even on his first date with Abby. 

“You’ll be fine.” You soothed the anxious man standing by your side on the doorstep of your childhood home. The door opened, revealing Luke standing with a grimace, “Oh Mom, made you wear that.”

Luke had been stuffed into one of the only long-sleeved shirts he owned by your mother. It was a magenta maroon hued corduroy shirt and set off his chocolate hair perfectly. Apparently, your mother hadn’t been able to get him into a pair of pants that weren’t skinny, black or ripped.

“We’re meeting your boyfriend, not the damn Pope-”

“You wouldn’t be wearing that if the Pope was involved.” You retorted, stepping to tug the younger Patterson into your arms. The only thing you adored about your little brother was he never denied a hug. Physical touch is his love language, so he never went through a phase.

“Lucas, don’t let them freeze on the front porch!” Emily shouted from within the Patterson home. Luke rolled his eyes at his mother’s request.

“Luke, this is my boyfriend, Evan Buckley. Buck, this is my not so little brother Luke.” You swiftly introduced the most important males in your life.

Luke and Buck got along better than any previous partner you’d brought home. He got along with your parents really well. Even when he slightly embarrassed himself as the time came to go home, whether it was his place or yours. He kissed your mother’s cheek and shook hands with your father.

“No offence, but thank you for having a heart attack and a coma. If you hadn’t, I’m sure I would have never met Y/N.”

Luke snickered at Buck’s odd choice of words, as did your parents. A part of Buck dreaded the next time he’d see your parents.

The gentle press of lips against your cheek pulled you from your thoughts of the first family dinner. Despite the issues between Luke and your parents, they were great people and parents; Buck had felt like he finally fit in. Even with that awkward thankful he gave your brother and dad, he was family the minute Mitch and Emily saw the mutual looks.

“How are we gonna do this?”

“Well, as the pregnant one, I’ll carry the little Bean until it’s time for them to enter the world. Then we’ll-”

“I get that but with our jobs?”

You felt guilty at the dread of not getting to do what you love, but you were excited, “I’ll keep working as a paramedic. I’ll stay away from fires, and then I’ll go on mat leave. We’ll make this work, Buck.” 

Buck leaned down to rest his forehead against yours with his eyes closed, envisioning how life was about to change. Buck adored children. He had loved Christopher from the moment he’d first met him. Buck himself was a kid at heart. 

“I didn’t think I could fall more in love, but you continue to surprise me each time,” Buck murmured with that gorgeous smile that utterly melted your heart from the first time you saw it. Back when you tried to deny any feelings beyond friendship.

“We’re so lucky to have you, Evan Buckley.” You breathed as you leaned up to kiss him with as much passion as you could. Although it was mostly clashing of teeth with the matching wide grins on your face.

“This little girl is gonna be a heartbreaker but no boyfriends or girlfriends until they’re thirty.” Buck declared, tugging you into his arms. His blue eyes twinkling in the natural lighting.

“It could be a boy.”

“Or maybe neither. Boy, girl or non-binary, I’ll love them just as much.” Buck spoke once more.

Gideon Buckley was born in the early morning to the pride of his parents and extended family. He was a healthy solid 8 pounds with sparse dark blonde hair and the trademark grey-blue newborn eyes. You everyone but Buck and your surprise Gideon wasn’t alone. Grace Buckley followed her older twin brother eight minutes later.

You rested against the propped up pillows spent from the exhausting hours of labour, but it was worth it. The two tiny babies snuggled beneath the swaddling blanket concealing your bare chest. Skin to skin contact was absolutely the best part of being a parent.

“Did you steal a baby?” Chim joked upon entering the hospital room with Maddie in tow. Right behind them were your parents and Luke.

“I’d like you to meet our twins Gideon and Grace Buckley. Surprise!” Buck quietly cheered in the nearly silent room. Buck’s curated newly parents playlist gently playing in the background.

Mitch and Emily came closer to look at the little loves they proudly got to claim as their first grandchildren. Emily’s heart melted upon hearing Gracie coo in her sleep. Grace and Gideon’s fist pressed against each other.

“Congratulations.” Maddie breathed, bending to catch a peek at the twins’ faces.

“Luke. Would you like to meet your goddaughter and godson?” You questioned the nervous musician. The nineteen-year-old tiptoed his way to the hospital bed.

“I’m both their godfather?” Luke choked as soon as Buck gently transferred Gideon onto his uncle’s chest. 

“There’s no one else in the world I’d choose to help guide them in the right direction. You always found your way back onto the right path. You’ll do the same for them.” Buck answered with Gracie nestled on his chest.

 Buck was the first to hold them followed by you and then their godfather Luke.

Gid and Gracie, although unseen, had been in Luke’s graduation pictures and watched as Julie and the Phantoms signed with a record label. Where Gid was, Luke wasn’t far beyond; the special bond melted everyone. Likewise with Gracie and Alex.

Gid overall was a happy baby compared to Grace. Loved visiting the firehouse. Loved the people working with their father and previously their mother. For the entire first year of Gideon and Grace’s life, you stayed at home with the utter support of Buck.

“First day back.” Hen spoke from beside you on the bench in the women’s change room. As a fellow mother, she’d been watching your behaviour.

“I miss them. I feel guilty that I abandoned them-”

“Okay, your feelings are valid, but you aren’t abandoning Gideon or Grace. You’re teaching them that you can be a great mom while also being a badass firefighter. I was the same when I went back to work after we got Denny.”

“Do you ever wish you could be a stay at home mom?”

“I love Denny with my entire heart, but I couldn’t do that. I was meant to be a paramedic firefighter as much as Denny’s mother. Besides, I can see Maddie pushing in the double stroller.”

Your head snapped to see your sister in law beaming with the double stroller carrying Gideon and Grace. Maddie’s daughter sitting on the seat made for a toddler. Maddie and Chimney had come to a decision for Maddie to work part-time.

Hen watched as you bounded out of the changeroom in uniform to scoop the twins into your arms. In a split second, Buck was down the stairs cooing at the absolute loves of his life. His partner and two children.

Buck would forever be grateful for finding his way to the 118, where he found his true family. A place of acceptance, love, trust and loyalty. Buck found his place in the world, and that was beside you.

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[roguesandsaviors]

Dinner Date

Fandom: Grudge Match

Characters: BJ Rose, Shea (OFC), Trey

Pairing: BJ x Shea (OFC)

Summary: An unexpected snag causes BJ and Shea to change up their first date plans.

Word Count: 2,210

Rating: SFW

Warning: None

A/N: A direct follow up to First Meetings. The idea wouldn’t leave me alone but it took me awhile to write. Hopefully everyone enjoys. Happy holidays and for those that don’t celebrate or have a hard time this time of year, hopefully this grants a small smile. Any mistakes are my own.

****************************************************************************************

BJ took one last glance at himself in the mirror, feeling conscious for once about how he looked. Ninety five percent of the time, he lived in sweats. It wasn't a problem with his job unless he had to be at a game. This was a completely different situation though, one that he hadn't dealt with in many years. There was an actual jitter, a nervousness that accompanied the need to ensure he looked put together. The dinner with Shea was looming overhead.

He was ready by three thirty to make sure that there wasn't any sort of hang up. The plan was to pick her up around five thirty. That was the idea until he ended up getting a call from his mom. She wasn't feeling well enough to be able to watch Trey. His stomach dropped but he knew that he couldn't put that on her. She rarely ever backed out, which meant she really wasn't feeling well. Trey was his and that meant that he had to push back whatever was supposed to happen with Shea. Once again, he had the thought that he wasn't in high school.

She had said she wouldn't be home until five, but it wouldn't be polite to wait until then when he knew that the dinner would have to be postponed. So, he sent her a quick text.

I'm sorry Shea. Turns out my mom can't watch Trey tonight. Can we reschedule the dinner?

The seconds crept by as he waited for a reply, even when logically he knew that she might not be able to respond right away. His stomach rolled and he picked up his son from school, giving him no signs that anything was remotely wrong.

The phone buzzed on the ride home but he couldn't look at it. Ushering the young boy inside, he finally freed the phone from his pants. There were three texts of Shea.

You don't need to be sorry. If it isn't too much, I could always cook for the both of you at my place.

That is, if you are okay with that and Trey is too.

I'm sorry. That is super forward and I completely understand if you aren't comfortable.

For a second, all BJ could do was stare at the texts, reading them over and over as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. She was offering to cook for him and his son after he had asked her out on a date. It seemed a little surreal. Of course then there was the panic that she had somehow overstepped some boundaries. It was sweet of her. BJ took a second to let out a breath and found himself smiling. It was more than what some other women had done. Trey was the most important thing to him and someone he was going to be with had to understand that. She clearly did already since she was including him in this dinner.

Trey had shed his backpack and already gotten himself a drink. She was seeking Trey's acceptance so he might as well ask him.

"Hey bud, come here for a second. I got a question for ya."

"Yeah dad?" Trey wandered over and waited patiently.

"How do you feel about going out for dinner tonight?"

"Like The Stadium?" BJ chuckled and shook his head.

"Nah. Not tonight. You remember Shea from the gym?" He got a nod and continued on. "Well, she offered to make us some dinner if you were okay with that." Trey was eyeing him by now and he knew that those cogs in his head were turning full speed. Sometimes he was too smart for his own good but he was still just an eight year old.

"What's she making?"

"That I don't know. I didn't tell her we were coming yet."

"Well you should do that. How are we supposed to get the food if she doesn't know?"

"I'm going to take care of that right now. Don't you worry." BJ smiled and felt a little more at ease about the whole evening.

You sure that's not too much trouble?

Not at all. Wouldn't have offered if it was. Is 6:30 too late for you guys? Need a little time to throw something together.

Nope. Works perfect.

BJ felt surprised once she had texted the address, the need for quick thinking and nerves set aside for now. They barely knew each other from the gym and she was willing to allow him over to her house. He wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing but he wasn't going to allow himself to second guess anything. The rest of the evening could be played out before he made any judgement on something like that.

****************************

He arrived at the house, easily getting Trey out of his car seat before walking to the front door. Trey  was excited and knocked for them both.

Shea opened the door with a smile.

"Good evening." She stepped aside to let them in. "Please come in."

"Hi Shea!" Trey was chipper and stepped right in, causing a soft laugh to come from BJ as he followed her in.

"Wait a second there. You know you gotta ask if you need to take your shoes off." Trey stopped right in his tracks and turned to look at Shea.

"It's okay. If you don't mind, that would be great." Shea answered with a small smile. "I can take your backpack if you want." Trey handed it over without question and she moved to set it on a hook, one low enough that Trey would still be able to reach it. It struck BJ as odd but he kept his questions to himself for now.

"It smells good in here," BJ complimented.

"Thank you. I wasn't sure what you might like so I went with a few things I was most comfortable making."

"We aren't picky eaters at all. A homemade meal is not something we will complain about."

"Good." She offered them both a smile. Leading them into the house more, she motioned for them to take a seat. "Please make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready in just a couple minutes." Trey immediately climbed onto the couch and got himself comfortable. The kid could make himself comfortable anywhere though and BJ knew that it wasn't a bad thing.

"Can I do anything to help?" Shea shook her head and motioned for him to sit down.

"Nope. Not at all. It's almost done. You are my guest and that means you get to relax." She disappeared into the kitchen but it only took a moment for her to call out. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Ice tea!" Trey answered. BJ reached out and ruffled the boy's hair.

"Ice tea sounds good if you have it."

"Two ice teas coming right up." There was some clinking of glasses before Shea appeared again with a glass in one hand and a cup for Trey in the other. "Here you guys go."

"Thank you," Trey offered, without prompt. Shea gave him a smile.

"You are welcome."

True to her word, the dinner was done in a few minutes. She had plates on the table and was smiling the entire time.

"Some homemade mac and cheese with some chicken for you Trey." If it was possible, it made the eight year old more excited. He already had his fork in hand. "And some orange chicken kale stir fry for us." He was impressed that she had managed to make two meals in a short span of time. Especially a homemade mac and cheese. He settled in at the table.

"Thank you. You didn't have to go through the trouble of cooking two separate dinners." She shrugged it off with a small laugh.

"It's something I'm used to. My sister's kid practically lives off mac and cheese so that's something I could probably cook in my sleep." That could have explained the low hanging hook that she had. She could have her niece or nephew over a lot.

"Wow. This is so much better than the box stuff," Trey announced with enthusiasm, causing both adults to laugh.

"I'm happy to hear such high praise." BJ could see that his son was actually content and comfortable, something that meant more to him than he could put into words. Shea was waiting to see what his reaction was, so he didn't keep her waiting. The food was as good as it smelled, without being too heavy. He swallowed down what he had, remembering his manners.

"It's really good." He could see her visibly relax as he said he liked the food. She had been worried. Maybe he wasn't the only one with nerves over the whole thing. That thought was calming alone and he settled into the dinner.

****************************

The dinner was casual, Shea keeping Trey involved so he would get too bored. The boy was happy to go on about his day at school, having another captive audience besides his father and grandmother. BJ couldn't help but marvel at the back and forth, the interactions just cementing his choice to ask her for dinner. There wasn't a lot of usual first date talk, there really couldn't be given that they weren't by themselves. But BJ wasn't complaining given the thoughtfulness of the invitation to include his son.

"Least I can do is help you clean up," BJ offered at the end of the dinner. He wouldn't feel right leaving her with everything after she had shifted her schedule and cooked for them. Shea consented and BJ moved to get Trey set up to work on some homework while he helped clean the dinner.

The back and forth movements were easy, dishes passed between them as she offered direction on where they went once they were cleaned.

"Thank you. For this I mean." BJ wasn't exactly sure how to approach it but knew that he needed to make it know how much he appreciated the night. "You didn't have to cook for the both of us. It woulda been easier if you just took a rain-check."

"It's no big deal, really," she assured him. "I just didn't want to seem too forward. I know it could have made you uncomfortable."

"I don't think a lot of people would have made the offer. Or included Trey if they did."

"He's a great kid." BJ smiled and let out a soft laugh.

"Yeah, yeah he is." Shea paused and glanced over to him.

"I know it's only a first dinner. But I understand that if anything goes anywhere between us, he has to be included." Her voice was soft as she spoke, unsure if he wanted Trey to know any of that yet. Or even if he was going to want another dinner. BJ paused beside her, once again caught off guard by the way that she was reading everything and offering up more than what others would have. Where had this woman been years ago? "I said my sister has a kid. She's a single mom. Enough guys have come and gone, deciding nothing was worth it because of her son. They get scared off. I have seen what that does to her and to him. That's not something I wanna put anyone else through."

"That's really thoughtful of you," he started. "You're right. Others just don't think about things like that when it comes to the kids. I haven't dated a lot, if I'm being honest with you. He's been my main priority since his mother left." He fell quiet for a moment but Shea didn't push him for anything.

"And he still is. That isn't going to change."

"Wouldn't ever expect it to."

"But, I'd like to think we can add to it. I'm thankful he is as comfortable as he is with people but he definitely likes you. And I'd like to get to know you better. So, maybe we can do this again?" He was hopeful. The evening had gone incredibly well. He was more than happy about it all and definitely wanted to see where this could go. She was right. It was only a first dinner but it was better than any of the first dinners or dates that he had ever had. Most importantly, Trey liked her.

"I'd love that." He felt some instantly relief, the nerves once again having built up as soon as he asked for a second date.

"Next time I'll cook," he offered. "May not be quite as good as this but I have a few things under my belt." He would have to see if it could be just them. They could spend some time talking, really getting to know one another.

"Sounds like a plan to me." They finished up and BJ got Trey all packed up. It was getting late anyway and he needed to get his son home to go to sleep.

"Get home safe," Shea murmured. BJ couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed her cheek as he ushered Trey out the door, hiding the action from his son for the time being.

"Thank you again, Shea. Good night."

"Good night Shea!"

"Good night BJ. Good night Trey."

[writer-rochelle]

Statesman: Ablaze  Ch.2: Off the Grid

(a/n: here is chapter 2 of the one thing im super frickin proud of. thank you @pomelloe-me​ for bullying me in our shared google doc to make sure i get things done. ily <3)

“Can you leave the window down? My car smells like fucking fried chicken, and while it may be your fave food it's not mine.” Alicia said, shutting her car engine off. Pom chuckled, obliging her friend’s request. Both women stretched, their joints popping, as they clambered out of the small car and started their walk up the small driveway. 

The Agents had opted to live as far away from the brewery as they could, wanting to make a safe and work free environment for them to escape to. It was a pale green  3 story victorian house with white accents, and a small front porch. Two white rocking chairs moved slightly in the wind, and a white porch swing on the far right end swayed with them. A black and white rip n dip doormat sat under a black double front door, the words "go away" floated next to a white cat flipping any visitors off. A purchase Pom had made while online shopping in the wee early hours of the night. One that Alicia and Dena had found rather hilarious and Carey had simply shaken her head. 

“I’m gonna murder your boyfriend, he’s as dumb as a fucking rock, I swear it!” Alicia exclaimed, walking towards the front door of the shared home, twisting her head this way and that in a vain attempt to pop her still stiff neck.  She could hear Pom curse at her under her breath. “What was that? Use your words miss ma’am” Alicia teased, knowing Tequila was a nuisance for Pom. He had been Alicia's friend first, and one-day on a whim she had invited them to a carnival accompanying the rodeo that was in town. Soon, the three of them were inseparable. Tequila however soon developed feelings for Pom, his endless pining no secret to anyone. The ex-rodeo clown meant well, and when he wasn't trying to convince the southern beauty to go two-stepping with him, the two got along very well. 

“I said he ain’t my fuckin’ boyfriend,” Pom responded, she was frustrated but smiled all the same. She reciprocated the crush but put her job as a Statesman agent first. She refused to let anyone or anything jeopardize her career. The brunette removed the brown cowboy hat sitting on her head, using it to fan herself in the heat, waiting for Alicia to unlock the front door. 

“Whatever you say!” Alicia sang, throwing the door open. Pom followed the woman into the entryway, shutting and locking the door behind her. The smell of delicious food wafted towards where the two girls stood, as they began dispensing the arsenal of personal weapons they had into their designated shelves in the entryway. Pom hung her hat on the hook on the wall next to the door. Alicia groaned, taking her box braids out of the ponytail she had forced them into, massaging her scalp. 

"I don't know how you can stand having those things pulled back like that!" Pom said, emptying her pistols before placing them back in their holsters. 

"Trust me, one I'm gonna shave my head, and I only kept them in because I spent so much on them for that one assignment. Why waste money? Carey Ann, is that your cooking I smell?" Alicia called, making her way further into the house. She paused a moment, kicking her shoes off in the mudroom off to the left. 

“Yup! I’m in the kitchen, y’all! Make sure you leave your shoes in that mudroom, I just swept!”’ Carey called out to them from the direction of the kitchen. 

Whatever she had been making since she had come home had made the house warm and cozy, the warmth of the oven lightly combating the aircon. Carey was the oldest of the four women living in that house. She had recently moved to New York, assisting Agent Whiskey in running the New York office. Occasionally, she would return to their humble abode in Kentucky. Most household responsibilities fell on her, their other roommate Dena had been away for almost a year on assignment in Europe seeking out an alleged brother agency. Usually, Pom and Alicia were left to their own devices, sticking to take-out orders, or the occasional soup and grilled cheese combo Alicia cooked up. It wasn't often Alicia or Pom cooked, let alone cleaned. It was nice to have their Agent Mom back in town.  

Pom hastily unzipped the sides of her boots, sliding them off to reveal her cute space patterned socks, ‘The best feeling ever is taking your shoes off after a fuckin’ long day of work.’ she thought to herself. Pom’s hair stuck up in odd angles, no secret the hat that had been resting on her head all day. She combed her fingers through it, the brown tresses fell to her shoulders in thick, uncontrollable waves. 

“It’s good to see you here, and not on a fucking screen, ma’am.” Alicia snooped through the pots on the stove, hungrily eyeing Carey’s homemade fried pork chops, mashed potatoes, and mac & cheese warming idly on the stove. Alicia only two kinds of southern cooking, her Grandma Beaulah's, and Carey's (a close second).  

"Yeah, bitch. I thought you might have forgotten about us.” Pom called out from the living room, where she had placed herself comfortably down on the couch, flicking through something on her phone. She sighed, still no response from Whiskey. Had she upset him without realizing it? ‘Fuckin’ Whiskey, I wish he could’ve told me instead of ignoring me like a dumbass.’ she thought, shutting off her phone and tossing it to the other end of the couch.

“Well, if y’all acted 24 and 25 years old and not little children, you wouldn’t need me to come home to cook and clean for y’all. Dena hasn’t even been here and she still keeps her room clean!” Carey teased, swatting Alicia’s hands away from the food. Even if she had been present, Dena and Carey were definitely the neatest of the four. Carey had tried in vain to get the other two younger women to help, even going so far as to leave everything to pile up. It had taken a roach crawling across Alicia's face one night in her sleep to finally get them to step up. Now they kept a chore list on a dry erase board in the laundry room, and the katsaridaphobic agent no longer left dirty dishes in her room. 

“Girl, they’re clean. And for the record, Pom and I do take care of ourselves! For example, I did all the laundry in the house and Pom got rid of that possum that was living in the roof. Perfectly responsible.” Alicia said smugly, giggling as Pom chimed in quietly from her spot on the couch about the ‘Cunt ass possum that tried to eat her fucking face even though she had given him a slice of ham as a fucking peace offering headass’. 

“Pom, why don’t you come join us instead of mumbling with your colorful vocabulary from the couch; the food is ready.” Carey laughed, shaking her head at her roommate's antics. She grabbed the rolls out the oven, before removing her apron and oven mitts. She moved to pull a pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge, and then stood back proudly to admire her work. Dinner was served. 

“You sound like my fuckin’ mom,” Pom uttered as she hoisted herself up from the couch, making her way into the kitchen to wash her hands. 

“I may as well be. But enough bickering, I missed y'all two!” Carey said, carrying her plate of food to the table where Alicia already sat eating. 

“I’m not really hankerin’ for anything, but thanks, Carey. I love you…fuck head.” Pom told Carey with her unique version of affection, leaning against the island in the kitchen and removing her rusty-colored jacket from her body. Pom's jokes and colorful nicknames were her own brand of love, and while it was offputting the first time she called you something like "hoe bag", you learned to acknowledge the underlying "I love you".  

“Well at least stay and sit with us, I’ve got something to tell y’all,” Carey said, patting the chair next to her. She needed to tell somebody about how she and Jack had recently started seeing each other. She figured he had already told Tequila, and felt justified in telling the girls. Pom sat down in the chair with a grunt after placing her jacket on the table. 

“Oh do tell, this wouldn’t happen to do with a certain mustached cowboy would it?” Alicia batted her eyelids, and suggestively wiggled her eyebrows. Pom knew exactly what this conversation was going to lead to. She wasn’t a fucking idiot; she noticed every small exchange between Carey and Whiskey, it was just something she had an eye for. The two had known each other for over two years and had recently started to go out with each other seriously. It was a wonder they hadn't started fooling around sooner.

“W-well...about that” Carey giggled nervously, maybe she wouldn’t tell them after all. 

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Carey Ann! Are you fucking Ole Jack Daniels?!” Alicia exclaimed, pointing her fork accusingly at the shorter Agent. Pom couldn’t help herself from letting out a loud chuckle, moving her long legs to sit cross-legged on the chair. 

“Alright, fine. Whiskey and I may or may not have been seeing each other exclusively for the past year while I’ve been back and forth from New York.” Carey said, casually taking a sip from her glass of tea, the clinking ice cubes being the only sound for a brief moment. 

“I fuckin’ knew it!” Agent Rum pronounced with great amusement, looking over at Carey with a menacing smile. 

“YAS BITCH, OH MY GOD! Tell us everything, and I do mean everything!” Alicia said, standing up and playfully pulling Carey into a noogie. 

The girls laughed, Carey pushed Alicia back into her chair before smoothing out her blonde curly hair. Carey was glad that the girls hadn’t reacted negatively like she thought they would. She had missed this comradery with the girls while staying in New York; she leaned forward fully retelling everything that had been happening. It was nice to finally be home. 

* * * * * 

Pom Graham was awake earlier than the rest of her housemates, as usual. Most nights she would stay up until midnight listening to her favorite kinds of music and trying to gain motivation to do her beloved hobby of painting. But she never slept for long as her natural body clock woke her up just a few short hours after she fell asleep. Still, she was always filled with so much energy. 

Pom tip-toed out of her room and down the flight of stairs in hopes of not waking her friends. She was already dressed in her usual outfit that the others rarely saw her out of. The living space downstairs was decorated with rustic, but comfortable furniture and pots of greenery scattered around. Photographs and posters could be found on the walls. 

She threw herself on to the couch in front of the large, technologically advanced television. With a press of a button on the remote, the screen came to life with the morning news channel. ‘Boring.’ Pom thought, ‘Carey must have been watching it last.’

“The daughter of beloved Kentucky senator, Xavier Dobios, is still missing and it’s sending everybody into quite the state of distress…..” Said the monotone voice of the news reporter on the TV. Pom scoffed at his words. 

“Fuck off, ‘beloved my ass’” Pom returned in a sharp whisper, smiling with amusement. She clicked another button and the kid’s channel started to play. Pom never really liked to watch television, but when she did, she would always turn on the channel that entertained her most.

“Good morning, Pomegranate.” Came Carey’s sweet but groggy voice from the doorway leading into the kitchen. Carey was dressed in cute, pink pajamas and her hair was quite the mess. She let out a big yawn. 

“Mornin’, you’re up early,” Pom responded, turning her head to give Carey a nice smile. Carey walked back into the kitchen to start preparing coffee and breakfast for herself and her housemates. 

“What do you want for breakfast? And I know you don’t like coffee, so what do you want to drink?” Carey asked from the kitchen to Pom. She sat there thinking for a moment before answering. 

“Peanut butter toast. And some water. Bless your heart, Carey.” Pom returned gently. Carey was surprised to see how calm she was. She was used to seeing the hot-tempered, mischievous, and swearing version of Pom. But she appreciated seeing this side to her too because Carey knew that’s who she really is. Pom never failed to make her laugh and smile. 

Carey made food and coffee with the sound of Pom watching the kid’s channel playing in the background. Alicia probably wasn’t going to be awake for a few more hours but Carey poured her a cup of warm coffee just in case. 

“I don’t know how you have so much energy all the time, Pom,” Carey said as she sat on the couch next to Pom, handing her the plate of peanut butter toast and a glass of water. She sipped on her own cup of coffee just the way she liked it. 

“I’ve consumed so much fuckin’ sugar in my life that I’m constantly on a sugar high.” Pom joked to her friend, smiling. Carey laughed, the sound mixing the soft sounds of the old Victorian settling over them. It wasn’t often they got a morning to themselves, and they knew they’d have to head to work soon, but for now, HQ could wait.

“GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!” Alicia yelled, bounding in the kitchen shattering the quiet moment the girls had settled into with their breakfast. Carey and Pom sighed, watching as she effortlessly leaped onto the island in the middle of the kitchen. Her gray sweatpants slung low on her hips, her lilac sleep shirt wrinkled, and her braids still wrapped up in the bonnet on her head; she looked crazy.

“What in Sam Hill are you doing?!” Carey said, standing up and rushing to try and push the taller woman off. 

“I have some good news, bitches! Dena’s coming home sooner than we thought!” Alicia was elated, it had been almost two months since Agent Sangria had been in contact with Statesman, and more importantly her roommates. She had been advised to keep all communications, few and far in between. Should there be a brother agency, it would be in Statesman's best interest to not alert them of their presence in their territory; what if they were a rogue organization? The return of the lively Latina was definitely a cause for celebration. 

“Wait, how do you know?” Carey asked, realizing that Alicia wasn’t budging off her pedestal. She looked over at Pom who looked just as puzzled as she was, no one had any recent contact with Dena. Everything had been dark. Pom got off the couch to get closer to them.  

“Well, as y’all know, I spend most of my free time in the lab with Ginger. And I was able to create a concealable communication device!” Alicia said proudly, taking what looked like a normal bottle of concealer. But the girls knew better, Alicia was a crazy tech wiz and inventor. Her and Ginger both could put Tony Stark to shame.

“How does that shit even work… it’s fuckin’ makeup.” Pom questioned. She couldn’t remember the last time she had set foot in the lab, or the last time she wore makeup. Pom would rather be training and being troublesome with the male agents than behind a vanity or in a lab coat. 

“Listen, I know it looks a little out of sorts but I promise it works! And the cosmetic part of the contraption is fully functional.” Alicia opened the packaging and did a swatch of the makeup on her arm. A perfect match.

“Say we can’t take any phones or even our glasses with us? Who’s gonna suspect a woman with a compact mirror and bottle of concealer? The idea is we use the idea of the fragile female that men have created against them. But my feminist spiel aside, I talked to Dena and she should be here by the end of next week!” Alicia got down from the counter, slipping her “concealer” into the front pocket of her black backpack. 

Pom leaned against the counter as she smiled, "You’re a genius.” She said to Alicia softly.

“I’m no Ginger Ale, but I try! Also, I’ve been making a bat prototype for you in the lab! I meant to surprise you for your birthday but I can’t wait any longer.” Pom smiled at this. Alicia started to continue but paused. The Statesman designated ringtone grew louder from where it was playing on their tv. Well, duty calls.

The three agents made their way into the living room, Carey grabbing the remote from its spot on the ottoman. Once they had all settled themselves on the comfy couch, she pressed the answer button. 

“Good morning, Angels!” Champagne greeted; the great window behind his head visible on the tv screen. It wasn’t uncommon for Champ to contact them while they were at home; saving more discreet missions for the four of them to take care of. It saved time, resources, and quite frankly more lives than if they were to send Whiskey, Tequila, or any of the other male agents instead. Hence the moniker, “Angels”.

“Good morning, Champ!” Alicia crowed, shifting to sling her legs across Pom and Carey’s laps making herself comfortable. Pom hastily grabbed Alicia’s feet from her lap and started to tickle them with no remorse, and her loud and mischievous laughs filled the room. 

“Would y’all stop? Jesus Christ.” Carey said, pushing Alicia’s legs off the couch and inserting herself between her and Pom. “Sorry, Champ, continue please!” Carey said, turning her attention back to the man on the screen. Pom was holding back her laughter as best as she could. 

“Well, when y’all are done horsing around, I have something for y’all to take care of. As you know, the senator is hiding his daughter trying to make it seem like she’s been kidnapped. Tonight, he is hosting a gala to impress some of the big wigs in the country and gain more support. I need y’all to infiltrate the gala and expose this sun’ a bitch before he can carry this tomfoolery on any longer.” 

“Do I gotta dress all fancy and shit?” Pom asked, pulling her jacket tighter around herself. She had makeup, she hated dresses, and if she didn't hate her unruly hair getting in her face, she'd hate doing it too. 

“I would prefer it if you did. The senator is very conservative, and has a strict dress code for this event.” Champagne said. Pom sighed angrily at this. 

“Awe, c’mon, Pomegranate. I thought you liked playing dress up.” the screen expanded to show that none other than Agent Whiskey sat next to Champagne at the grand mahogany meeting room table. 

“Whiskey!” Pom exclaimed with joy. A big grin was on her face now. She tucked her messy waves of hair behind her ears. Pom could feel her heart racing with pure happiness. Whiskey was the closest thing she had to a father, and she practically glowed in his attention. 

“Howdy darlin’, you ready to join your old man on the dance floor?” Whiskey tipped his hat, grinning at the young agent. 

The adopted father and daughter duo were the best partnership to come out of Statesman; Whiskey having taken Pom under his wing, saying that he saw himself in her. A troubled girl who needed a little guidance and TLC, and had unfathomable potential. Whiskey had promised Pom’s mother that he would ensure that the young woman would be taken care of while she was in the states. A promise that had been well kept. 

“While I’m all for sappy reunions, I need you, girls, to get gussied up and make your way to that gala ASAP! I’m sending Whiskey to pick y’all up at 0800, We got a party to crash.” Champagne said, ending the video call. 

Alicia stood and looked at her phone, an invitation addressed to a Penelope Vontrapp, and associates lit up her screen. “Well Miss Pom, or should I say Miss Penelope; it looks like you get to play the part of the daughter of some rich oil tycoon.” 

“Fuck you, I’m not wearing any fuckin’ makeup!!” Pom said while jumping off the couch to sprint up to her room before the others could stop her. 

“YOU’RE LUCKY THEY’RE MAKING A BIG DONATION IN YOUR HONOR! OTHERWISE, I’D BE FORCING YOU INTO A DRESS AND PUTTING SOME BLUSH ON THOSE CHEEKS!” Alicia shouted up the stairs, knowing that Pom was going to put on the same suede pantsuit she wore to all Statesman functions. It would be a cold day in hell before anyone forced her into a dress, and Alicia knew better than to even try and wrestle her into one.  

“Will you curl my hair, please? May as well get some joy out of tonight.” Carey remarked, making her way up the stairs. Alicia noticed the sad air around her friend, she stopped reaching out to grab her friend's arm. 

“What’s wrong? You were all chipper early, now you’re all….” Alicia made a fart noise with her mouth, hoping it would bring a small smile to her Carey’s face. 

“It’s nothing, I promise. Just forget it, okay?” Carey pulled her arm away, continuing up the stairs. But it wasn’t really anything. Was it right for her to feel a little envious that Whiskey hadn’t acknowledged her? Had Champ told him something? Or was she just overthinking? Either way, they had a mission to focus on, and this worrying and pining could wait. 

(a/n: thank you all for reading and standing by while i get in the swing of things. i now have a masterlist, and post with who and what yall can request will be coming soon. <3 roach)

[war-sword]

the ilvermorny exchange (3)

part 3 | index | masterlist

summary: you’re an Ilvermorny student, and you’ve applied to the International Magic Student Exchange Program to attend your sixth year at Hogwarts instead. You and your friends are excited to go to school overseas, but a certain blonde prefect has decided to personally make your exchange year suck. You decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. (draco x reader, enemies to lovers, female reader) words: 5,382 (omg) warnings: cursing A/N: okay everyone buckle up... it’s time. and again just as a reminder this is a no-voldemort AU! otherwise some things won’t make sense. Also, sorry if your Ilvermorny house isn’t horned serpent. i just used that to make the scene easier! taglist: @tragically-cordelia @mhftrs @2pumpkin-pasty @gingerlouisgirl @seriouslynotfunny @clockworkherondale @cherrie511 @songforhema

◈◈◈

As the December holiday approached, all the Ilvermorny students were getting excited to head home for the break. You were sitting your common room with a few of the other students, talking about your plans for break.

“I’m so excited to go home and have some fucking grits, dude… this porridge shit they eat here? Absolute trash.” Jason lamented.

“I KNOW! I just want a real buttermilk biscuit with some jam for the first time in four months,” you agreed. “A cracker is not a biscuit! It’s a fucking cracker! Also I want coffee in the morning, not tea.”

“Y’all talking bout breakfast, bro I just want some barbecue,” Kenny piped up. You all moaned in unison.

“A hamburger… literally anything besides these fucking meat pies. I’m over it. At least the dessert here is good.” Alex sighed.

“Do they let students cook here? Maybe I should ask my mom to send me back with some recipes.” You gazed up at the American flag which was hung over the mantle in the common room, charmed to always be fluttering as if in the wind, daydreaming about your mom’s homemade bread.

“I hear the Hufflepuff dorms are right near the kitchen, I can ask Madeline about it tomorrow,” Sarah offered.

“We should make some of our friends here some American food.” Alex said. She and Chris were playing mini gobstones on the table in the center of the room, and she waved her wand to make her move.

You sat up with a start. “Ohmygod, guys. What if we threw a Christmas party before the break? We can make a bunch of American food, invite our friends…”

Alice and Sarah exchanged a glance. “That’s a great idea, y/n!” Everyone else agreed.

“We can play them some American Christmas music!”

“And do a gift exchange!”

Ideas flew across the room. Chris and Sarah went off to get the other students who were in their dorms to come to the common room, and the fifteen of you planned it out together. Everyone got to invite two new friends, since the Ilvermorny dorms were small and probably couldn’t hold that many people. Sarah and Alice would find out about using the kitchen and created a menu of six American Christmas staples. Alex volunteered to procure illicit substances. You and Chris were on decorations with a few other people.

“Alex, want to split our invites? We need to invite the trio,” you said after all the planning was done.

“Sure. I don’t really want to invite anyone else, so I can take Ron and Harry. You use your invite on Hermione and someone else. I know everyone loves you.” Alex said.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” You thought-- maybe you could invite Mari from magical creatures class? Or Noor, who you often saw in the library… did she like to go to parties?

You mulled it over the next day, the square of parchment with the day and time written out on it folded neatly in your robe pocket. You saw Mari at class, but she was busy and you realized you didn’t know her really that well. You didn’t see Noor in the library.

Two days before the party, you and Chris were in the common room making paper snowflakes and charming them to float near the ceiling. “Who’d you invite?” You ask.

“Emi, from my astronomy class. She’s in Slytherin, but she’s really friendly to me. Didn’t use my other invite,” he said. The scissors he’d charmed levitated in the air next to him, snipping away at a piece of paper. Chris took it and unfolded it, guiding it up to the ceiling with his wand to be with the others.

“Couldn’t think of anyone?”

“Nah. You?”

“I haven’t used my other invite either,” you confessed. “I want to, but I don’t really know anyone else who would want to come to this party.”

“Maybe you should invite someone who wouldn’t want to come. You never know, maybe they’ll have a good time,” Chris said.

“Hm, maybe you’re right.”

On the day of the party, the Ilvermorny common room was buzzing with excitement. To contribute to the American Christmas theme of the party, you’d put on your Ilvermorny house sweatshirt and a santa hat you found in Hogsmead last week. Sarah and Alice were bringing the food up from the kitchen with the help of the elves, and Alex was carting out cases of firewhiskey from back in your dorm where she’d been storing it. Someone had got the record player going, and Frank Sinatra’s Christmas album is already playing.

Around six o’clock, your guests started arriving. Emi, was one of the first to arrive. A tiny asian girl, Emi was absolutely hilarious. She tried and loved all the food that had been set out, and was excitedly asking you and Chris questions about Ilvermorny. She and Chris apparently didn’t talk near as much in class as he’d let led you to believe which you found very funny.

More people you knew began to trickle in- Ginny, Ron’s sister, who Alex had a crush on, and someone had invited Neville which made you very happy. The trio showed up soon after, and you gave each of them a hug.

“Merry Christmas you guys!”

“Merry early Christmas!” Hermione squeezed you extra tight.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Of course,” said Harry.

“Hey, where can I get one of those?” Ron pointed to the firewhiskey bottle in your hand. Hermione whacked him across the back of the head.

“God, Ron, you’re so rude!”

You just giggled. “It’s fine. Here, follow me.”

After getting Ron and Harry a drink, you all sat around in the chairs and chatted. Alex and a few other friends came over and completed the circle. You all laugh as Ron tries various American foods from his loaded plate.

“What’s fhis called again? Pasta and cheese?” Ron mumbles around the food in his mouth.

“Mac and cheese,” Alex laughs.

“It’s bloody felicious, fhat’s what if is! ‘Mione, you’ve got fo fry if.” He slides the plate in front of her, covering his mouth as a piece of pasta tries to escape. Hermione just rolls her eyes.

Tapestry-Isolt appears on the side of the cloth that faces into the common room, making a gesture. Alex jumps up from her spot on the floor. “Someone’s here.” Your hastily take a big drink from you bottle of fire whiskey.

Ron continues to prod Hermione to try the mac and cheese. You hear people raising their voices at the door. Everyone quiets down, looking to the doorway. Alex is barring the way, but you can see Malfoy’s shock of blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Dude, get out of here.”

“I’m telling you, Huckabee, I was invited.”

“By who?”

“By me.” All eyes in the room sweep to you. Alex whipped around, her jaw slack. Malfoy crossed his arms smugly. “What?” You held out your hands. “Shit gets kind of boring when he’s not around.”

The only sound in the room is young Michael Jackson’s voice coming from the record that’s playing.

“For Christ’s sake,” you sigh, standing up. People turn back to their conversations and you walk across the common room to the door. Alex gives you a look. “Give it a rest, okay?” You say, crossing your arms.

“Okay.” She suppresses a smirk and walks off.

You turn back to Draco. “You want a drink?”

He looks at you skeptically. “Sure.”

Draco moves over to an empty spot on the wall and you return with a bottle of firewhiskey for him. He takes it and has a sip, and you lean back on the wall beside him. “So,” he begins, looking out across the room. “Did you invite me so we could get in a shouting match, I can slap you and you can punch me in the nose, and then I can leave? All because you’re bored?”

“No,” you say defensively.

Draco raises his eyebrow and looks at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I was just… being nice.” You say hotly. “Chris told me to invite someone who might not enjoy parties. The Christmas spirit, all that bullshit.”

“You? being nice?” He smirks.

“I’m actually very nice, you’re just never lucky enough to get to see it.” You stick your chin up and sip from your bottle.

“Right,” he says with an eye roll. He pulls a square of parchment out of his pocket, and you recognize it as the invitation to the party you’d slipped into his robe pocket during potions two days ago. “I knew it was you. No one else I know has handwriting this atrocious.”

You slap his arm, and he chuckles. You snatch the parchment from his fingers. “My handwriting may not be that great, but it still says right here ‘festive holiday party’. I don’t think all black counts as festive.” You point to the words on the parchment, and then at his outfit.

Draco reaches down and tugs up his pant leg, exposing a green sock-clad ankle. “What do you call this then?”

“A weak attempt,” you shoot back. He lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. Your current conversation reminded you of the time up in the tree outside the courtyard. You didn’t entirely hate talking to him like this.

“What’ve you got on? It’s quite ugly.”

“My festive, American outfit.” You straighten the collar of your pullover. “This is my Ilvermorny house sweater, and it’s not ugly.”

Draco takes in the green fabric with his eyes. “What’s your house at home?”

You’re a little surprised by his interest. “I’m in Horned Serpent.” You turn to the side, and point at your house crest that’s stitched on the left breast.

“So… is that like Slytherin here?” He asks.

“I’m not sure.” You furrow your brow. “I think it would maybe be Ravenclaw. Horned Serpent favors the mind, and scholars. But I don’t really think I would be in Ravenclaw if I was sorted here. Sometimes I don’t even think I should be in Horned Serpent at home. At Ilvermorny, sometimes you can be sorted into two houses, and then you get to choose. I was sorted into Horned Serpent and Pukwudgie. I picked Horned Serpent.”

Draco was quiet as he considered this. “You can fight with the Sorting Hat here, but you can’t choose your house. Our first year, we all watched Longbottom argue with the stupid thing for almost five minutes.”

The side of your mouth quirked up. “You? How long did it take the Sorting Hat to figure out you were a Slytherin?”

“Almost immediately,” he said smugly.

“How surprising.”

In the center of the room, Alex, Chris, and the trio were watching the two of you talk. Ron was still shoveling mac and cheese into his mouth with fervor.

“God, Ron, how can you stand to eat and look at them at the same time?” Hermione said, looking slightly disgusted.

“What exactly is going on?” Harry asked, genuinely confused. “I’ve seen them fight since they day you all arrived. They can’t stand one another.”

“This is what I was fucking telling you guys! The sexual tension.” Alex slammed her hand on the table. “All she does is talk about how stupid his face is. I think she has a crush on him and doesn’t know it.”

“The other day, I told her to invite someone she didn’t think would enjoy parties, just to be nice.” Chris said. “I didn’t realize she’d take it so literally.”

“Oh, look, they’re going at it now…” Ron gestured with his fork over toward you and Draco, who were now arguing.

“What are we talking about?” Emi returned to the circle with more food and sat down next to Chris in front of the fireplace.

“How Malfoy and y/n are eye-fucking.” Alex stated.

Emi wrinkled her nose. “Whatttttt?! Her and Draco? Never. He hates her guts-- All I ever hear him talking about is how stupid her face is.”

Alex threw up her hands. “WHAT DID I SAY!”

“Here, let’s find out.” Emi put her cookie back on her plate, and waved her hands around. “Draco!”

The trio frantically tried to tell Emi to stop, but it was too late. Draco walked over, with you trailing a bit behind. “Oh, hello Emi. I didn’t realize you were coming here.”

“Yeah, same to you.” She patted the empty spot on the ground next to her. “Come sit, we’re playing a game.”

Draco awkwardly sat down, looking across the table at the trio in disgust. You walked behind them to sit on the hearth between Alex and Chris. “How did you even get here? Did you lie to Snape?” Draco asked his housemate.

“I have my ways.” Emi stated, picking her cookie back up and eating it in one bite. “How did you get here?”

“I’m the Prefect, I can go wherever I want.” Draco said, taking a sip of his firewhiskey.

Emi nodded approvingly, then brushed the crumbs off her fingers. “Let’s play truth or dare, I’ll go first. Y//n, truth or dare?”

“Uh, truth, I guess,” you said.

“Have you ever thought about kissing Draco?”

You nearly spit out the sip of firewhiskey you’d just taken, and next to you, Alex burst out laughing. You felt your face getting hot. “Uh, have I ever thought about it?”

“Yeah,” Emi said, completely blank faced.

You paused, and looked off into the distance for just a moment. “Sure. I’ve thought about it.” You took another sip from your bottle, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Emi seemed satisfied. “Alright. Your turn, then.”

You bit your lip, then turned to Draco. “Hey Malfoy, truth or dare.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Truth.”

“Have you ever thought about kissing me?”

Draco didn’t miss a beat. “Have I ever thought about it?” He echoed you from moments ago.

“Yeah.”

He took a drink of firewhiskey. “Sure. I’ve thought about it.”

Hermione flopped back into her chair, looking defeated, and Ron’s mouth was open. Harry looked nearly green, while Alex’s eyes were glinting dangerously.

Emi looked pleased. “Well, there we are. I’m adjourning the game.”

“Emi, you can’t just do that.” Draco frowned. “You: truth or dare.”

“I don’t have to play, I just adjourned the game.”

“Mmm, you started it so you’re automatically playing.” Draco poked her arm. “Truth or dare?”

“Fine,” she sighed dramatically. “Dare.”

“Dare you to go eat all the rest of that disgusting-looking pie.” Draco pointed across the room to the perfectly normal looking apple pie on the table.

“Hah! Jokes on you Malfoy, this American food is delicious.” She turned to Chris on her other side. “Chris! Go get it for me.”

“Damn, what happened to please?” Chris said, but he was already getting up. Emi patted his leg as he walked by.

“Ooh, now it’s my turn again. Hm,” she tapped her chin, looking around the circle. “Hermione, truth or dare?”

Hermione grimaced. “Truth, please.”

Emi drummed her fingers together with a look of great concentration on her face. “Tell us something about about Hogwarts we don’t know.”

“Emi, that’s a lame truth,” Alex laments.

“What? She’s smart, you lot don’t know anything about here, I’m curious.” Emi takes the pie from Chris, who has just returned, and she takes a bite.

Hermione takes the compliment in stride. “Hm, well, there’s a legend that there’s a secret room underneath the girl’s bathroom on the first floor. No one ever goes in because that’s where Moaning Myrtle lives, but the times I have been I haven’t found any evidence of it. There’s loads of other secret passages across the whole castle, I’ve used the ones near the Charms room to get to class in the Towers on time before. And the Room of Requirement is supposedly somewhere on the fourth floor.” Hermione rattles on.

“What’s the Room of Requirement?” You ask.

“What it sounds like,” Hermione explains. “You go, and if you really are in need of something or a space, a door will appear. When you enter, the room will be suited to your needs. I’ve never heard of anyone going there, though.”

“I’ve been.”

All eyes turn to Draco. “What? When?” Hermione says, shocked.

“A few times. None of your business.” He shrugs.

“Mmm! I wanna go!” Emi swallows a bite of pie and throws her fork down.

“Yeah, Malfoy,” you prod. “Take us.”

Chris and Alex chime in with their agreement. Draco looks skeptical.

“Why should I?”

“Because it’s the Christmas spirit, asshole.” You get up and walk to the door, shoving your santa hat onto Draco’s head as you walk past. “Everyone! We’re going on a field trip!” You announce to the whole party. Draco glares at you, and you grin back. “Let’s go, sunshine. You lead the way.”

The large group of you troop through the halls, Draco leading the way. “I look better in this than you.” He leans against the rail of one of the moving staircases, gesturing to your hat.

“At least you’re looking slightly festive now.” You lean back on the railing opposite him.

“Sexual tensionnnnn,” Alex hisses loudly from a few steps below. You and Draco cast her matching sneers.

“You two are the ones who admitted to thinking about kissing one another, so stop looking like that.” Chris said, putting his hands up. Emi giggles, grabbing onto his arm.

“Key word: thought!” You cried. “It’s hard not to think about something when someone brings it up.”

“Oh, so you hadn’t thought about it before tonight?” Draco teased.

“NO.” You said indignantly.

The staircase slid into place and Draco sauntered off into the next corridor, shooting you a look that said ‘right, sure.’ You run up beside him and whack him on the arm. “Dick! I do not waste my precious time thinking about you.”

“Hey, that hurt!” He reaches out and shoves you sideways.

“For the love of Christ, STOP FLIRTING!” Alex yells.

“We are not!” You and Draco yell back.

You turn the corner and Draco leads everyone to what seems to be a blank wall. “Is this it?” You ask.

“Yes, now shut up so I can concentrate.” Draco closes his eyes, and everyone becomes quiet. For a few moments nothing happens, then the stone wall slowly starts to shift. Swirling lines curl around the shape of large double doors, and a round handle forms in front of Draco. He opens his eyes and looks at the doors, satisfied. “This is the room where people come when they need to hide something.”

Draco tugs the large doors open, and everyone gasps as they look in. The room seems to go on forever, stacks of objects piling up into mountains every few feet. Thin aisles weave between the piles for people to walk between. Everyone files in, going their various ways down the different paths. Draco seems pleased by everyone’s amazement.

“What’s that sound?” You ask, coming to stand beside him again.

“There’s probably a record player in here somewhere. It’s always playing when I come, so it must be broken.” Draco says.

“How often do you come here to hide stuff?” You tease.

“I told you, none of your business,” he shoots back.

“C’mon,” you gesture for him to follow you. “Let’s see if we can find it.”

Draco follows you without much question, and the voices of everyone else fade away as you go deeper into the Room. You turn various corners, trying to follow the sound of the music. “There’s so much stuff in here,” you muse aloud, letting your fingers brush over the dusty surface of a long-forgotten desk.

“It’s thousands of years of useless junk, since I assume people have been hiding thing here since Hogwarts began,” Draco answers.

You turn another corner where there’s a slightly more open area. There’s a huge shelf that’s filled with broken teacups, so many they look likely to spill over at any moment.

“I don’t think we’re getting any closer.” Draco’s voice is softer than normal, and right behind you.

You turn around and find yourself only a few inches away from his chest. “Yeah, the music, uh, sounds about the same,” you say, your eyes flitting up to his face. You can’t help but catch sight of his lips, which look incredibly soft and inviting up close.

You both move toward each other at the same time, but you also both stop just a fraction of an inch away from one another. Draco’s head is tilted down, and you can feel his gentle breath on your lips. “Draco, what are we doing?” You whisper.

He swallows before answering. “Can we just not think about it?”

Your heart feels like it’s going to flutter out of your chest. “Okay.”

Draco’s head dips down, and he captures your lips with his. At first, the kiss is soft, but it doesn’t take long for the usual fire between you to flare. You’re kissing like you argue, one of you always trying to best the other. One of Draco’s hands comes around the small of your back, his fingertips brushing against your skin, while the other flies to your neck and rests on your racing pulse. You dig your fingers into his hair, knocking your hat off his head and pulling him down towards you. He groans into your mouth.

Together, you take a step backwards so you’re up against the shelf. Your back hits it harder than you meant to and you let out a small gasp. China rattles above you.

“Y/n, is that you?”

Your lips separate with a pop, and Draco’s eyes are wide. Someone is coming.

Alex pops around the corner a few seconds later, and sees you mending the teacups on the shelf. “Oh, yay, it’s you. You all good? I thought I heard something about to break.”

“Nah, just the cups,” you say, waving your wand again to repair another.

“Cool. I think the rest of us were gonna head back now, you coming?”

“Uh, I’d like to stay here a little longer. I think this place is dope.”

Alex looks skeptical. “Alright, just don’t get lost. Hey, where’s Malfoy? I can’t find that bitch either.”

You shrug. Alex raises her eyebrows. You sigh and lower your wand from the shelf. “Jesus fuck, there’s nothing going on between us, okay? I don’t know where he is, he probably left already.”

“Alrighttttt,” Alex sings. “Uh-huh. Sure. I definitely believe you. One hundred percent.” She turns on her heel and walks off.

After her footsteps fade, Draco reappears from around another corner, a stupid grin on his face. “Honestly, I’m hurt you consider that nothing.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You guide a repaired teacup back to its place on the shelf.

“I can show you some more, if you’d like?” His arms wrap around your torso and he places a kiss on the side of your neck, making you giggle.

“Okay, okay! But not here. We’re liable to break something for real.”  

His eyes glint mischievously. “I know just the place.”

The tapestry has barely fallen into place behind you before you’re being pushed up against the wall in the tiny alcove behind it, Draco’s lips meeting yours with passion. “Draco… what exactly… are we… doing,” you ask again, between kisses. You part, breathless, dim light from the torches in the corridor filtering through the tapestry, illuminating Draco’s face just enough to see the flush on his cheeks.

“I dunno,” he says, lips descending onto your neck. “Can we not talk… about it... right this moment.”

“Ugh, fine.” Your hands thread into his fine hair again. “But we have to talk about it tomorrow.”

Draco’s face reappears in front of yours again. “God, you’re so difficult sometimes. I love it.”

He lifts you up the wall so your faces are more in line, putting one of his legs between yours to stabilize you. Your toes barely brush the ground, and for the first time you’re truly aware of how much taller he is than you. One of his hands slips under your sweater, and you sigh in delight as his fingertips skate across the skin of your hip. “Mmm, someone’s eager.” He gently nips at your lower lip.

“‘S been a while,” you mumble.

Draco’s mouth cracks into a smile, ending your kiss. You pout and he laughs. “I know I’m good but, seriously, how long’s it been.”

You hope he can see your eyes roll in the dim light. “I thought we weren’t gonna talk about anything right now.”

“Yeah, but now I’m curious.” Now his fingers are gliding along the small of your back, and you arch away at the feathery touch, which just amuses him more.

“Like… maybe a year and a half.”

“A year?” Draco’s mouth drops open, and you hate the look of arrogance that’s taking over his face at being the first to kiss you in such a long time. “There is absolutely no way.”

“I’ll leave, you know.” You threaten, taking your arms off his shoulders and crossing them.

Draco suddenly grabs onto your upper arms. “Please don’t.”

“So then stop running your mouth and kiss me, you idiot.” You uncross your arms and grab at Draco’s collar.

“Luckily for you, I’m excellent at both of those things.”

It had been… a long time. You’d spent the better part of an hour in the corridor on the third floor, and now you were making your way back to the Ilvermorny dorms much later than you’d have liked. You tried to tell Draco Alex would only get more suspicious, but he was… very persuasive.

“Greylock,” you said to tapestry-Isolt. She stepped to the side to let you through. The party had dwindled to most of the Ilvermorny students, the trio, Ginny, and Emi, who were seated by the fire playing a card game.

“What’s up?” You asked, plopping down into a chair. All you received were stares in return. “Uh, hello?”

“You were gone for a while.” Alex says, leaning back against the hearth Ginny’s legs settled in her lap.

“Yeah, I did end up getting a little lost. That room was huge.” Everyone continues to stare.

“Got you hat back, then?” Alex gestures to your head.

FUCK. “Uh, yeah. I saw Malfoy when I was leaving, asked for it back. I guess he was just wandering around, too.”

“Uh-huh.” Alex can’t keep the smirk off her face.

“I literally just happened to see him and all I did was ask for my fucking hat back, okay? Hop off my dick.”

“What’s on your neck?” Alex points, and you feel the blood drain from your face.

You don’t say anything to that. Alex throws her hand of cards to the side, deflty sliding out from under Ginny and onto your chair. “Ah! Alex, get the fuck off me!’ You cry, desperately holding up the collar of your sweater as Alex tries to pull it down.

But Alex wins in the end. She yanks down the left side of your collar, revealing the forming bruises across your collarbone. “HOLY SHIT YOU LET MALFOY GIVE YOU A HICKEY.”

“NO I DID NOT.”

“I’M LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM, BITCH!”

Your cheeks are flaming, and you let out a muffled scream into your hands. Emi is losing it with laughter.

“You let that git’s lips touch your face? More than your face?” Harry stuttered. Ron made a gagging noise.

“Y/n, I cannot believe you did that!” Hermione wailed.

“OKAY, everyone chill out.” You put your hands out. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“How do you know?” Alex cries.

“Because I explicitly asked and he said, ‘let’s not talk about it right this moment,’ quote.” You punctuate your sentences by punching your fist into your palm.

“Uh-huh, cos he was too damn busy sucking on your neck like a fucking leech.” Alex poked at your collarbone and you swatted her hand away.

“Oh my gooood, that’s such a Draco thing to say to someone he’s totally into.” Emi drawled.

Your blush flares back up. “What? He’s not ‘totally into me’.”

“Uh, absolutely yes,” Emi shoots back. “Tomorrow you’ll see.”

As it turns out, tomorrow’s ‘we’ll talk about it later’ begins in a similar place as last night. Draco’s hands are gripping at the back of your uniform shirt as you tug on his tie, his lips already attached to the sensitive piece of skin behind your ear. You can’t stop the moans rolling out of your mouth.

“I like how much you like this,” his voice rasps against your skin.

“Yeah, and I’d love to give you some payback for last night but we have something to discuss.”

“Can’t we just do this a little longer?” He nearly whines against your lips.

You grab the front of his shirt and spin him around, so he’s the one with his back to the wall. His eyes open in surprise at your aggression. “Do you like me or not?” You get straight to the point.

The edge of his mouth quirks up. “I definitely like it when you do that.”

This gets him a quick slap on his cheek. “I’m dead ass serious, Draco. I’m not the kind of girl who just goes around kissing whoever, alright?”

“Yeah, I sort of figured that when you said you hadn’t been kissed in a year and a half.”

You let go of his shirt and turn to leave. Maybe he really was just using you since all he still wanted was to tease you.

Draco’s hand closes around your wrist. “Wait, Y/n, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make fun of you.”

You turn to face him again. “But that’s all we ever do, Draco! Everything I know about you is stuff I tease you about. There’s no point in this, I’m bad at not catching feelings. I know myself.”

“Me either! Listen, I know you know me well enough to at least know I’m not actually stupid. I wouldn’t have kissed you for no reason.”

“Oh, you totally would have.”

“Okay, fine, I’m an arse but I’m still a gentleman. There’s a line I don’t cross. To answer your question, yes, I do fancy you. I like being around you. I look forward to potions everyday. I might not know much about you but I do notice things about you that I think are utterly adorable.”

Your cheeks heat up at his compliment, and you throw yourself against his chest in a hug.

Draco rests his hand on your hair. “I tease you because you’re the only one who can keep up. I love your wit, I think it’s one of the most attractive things about you. If you want to try… being together, we can do that. Just maybe not tell anyone because that’d be a bloody mess.” He adds quickly.

“I like those things about you, too.” You say, turning your head so he can hear you clearly. “You’re smart, and I happen to think you’re pretty cute also.”

“Just cute?”

“Nah, your jawline is pretty hot. And your accent.”

“I knew there was no way you actually hated my accent.”

You pull away and playfully slap his chest. “Okay, boyfriend,” you smirk. “Can we get to kissing, because I go back home tomorrow and I need my fix before Christmas.”

“Ugh!” Draco groans, throwing his head back. “I forgot about that.”

“Yah-huh.” You give an exaggerated nod.

“I think kissing just might make waiting worse,” he says playfully. “Let’s find out.”

Several minutes later you return to the Great Hall to catch the end of the lunch hour. Everyone’s expectant eyes are on you as you take your seat and casually start eating.

“Well?” Alex pries.

“Huh? Oh, we talked.”

“Okay? And?” Ron urges.

You shrug noncommittally. “We both agreed it was probably a bad idea. A one time thing.”

The trio sighs in relief, while Alex crosses her arms and huffs. “Ugh! You’re so boring.”

You just put another bite of food in your mouth and give her a mock-sad face. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Across the Hall, Draco enters and heads to they Slytherin table. He shoots a quick wink your way before sitting down with his own friends, careful to not look over at you again for the rest of the meal.

[afterourhearts]

food i’ll miss the most in RVA

Hi guys! This is almost more of a post for myself to think back and remember all the delicious cuisine in Richmond that I won’t be able to readily access anymore. As my last month here creeps up on me, I’ve been thinking more and more about how much I’ve grown to love this little “river” city. It’s only apt that I’m taking an archaeology class about Richmond in my last semester as it only reminds me yet again about how rich in culture this place is. Of course, I’m still thrilled to head back to Ohio (or maybe Philly if the interviews went well?), but I think I’ll always be willing to visit Richmond in the future and show my future friends around this adorable place :) ok, but on to the food (not ranked in order of best or anything just places I absolutely adore):

1) Huynh’s now turned Vietnam One Vermicelli with Tofu & Spring Roll - ok so most people have tried this popular Viet dish but I’ve tried at least like 10 of these from diff. places and nothing beats the dish at Vietnam One here. It’s the TOFU. It’s seasoned and cooked to perfection; crispy on outside and soft on the inside and bursting with flavor (as opposed to a lot of other places that have pretty bland fried tofu). Honestly I could just eat the tofu and be pleased. So many memories and probably 50+ trips to this place with my apt., definitely forever going to be in our hearts.

2) Jack Brown’s BBQ chips with mac n cheese burger - only like $6, 5 minutes from my school, juiciest homemade patty, amazing pairing of creamy mac n cheese with crispy chip pieces, and all served with the most refreshing pickle. UGH I WANT IT NOW.

3) Frank West’s Pizzeria Cheese Pizza - omgomgomg so everyone here likes Christian’s which is a NY style thin crust heavy cheese pizza and also fairly good but Frank West’s is even better though less known! A local here showed it to me and I’ve been in love ever since. Crust is on a thinner side but not crazy thin, generous amounts of sauce which I love, and the cheese is speckled with some kind of seasoning that is perfection.

4) Peter Chang’s Dry Fried Eggplant - so there isn’t much Chinese food here to rave about due to the heavily viet but low chinese population in rva but they at least boast one authentic szechuan place (though hong kong house in cbus is def better) STILL they have this standout eggplant dish here that I’ve never seen elsewhere. It’s fried eggplant “fries” seasoned in szechuan flavors/cilantro and it isn’t greasy b/c it is dry fried rather than deep fried. AMAZING alternative to fries!

5) Sugar Shack Donuts esp. lemon poppyseed and strawberry lemon - ok so RVA is KNOWN for donuts and for good reason. Sugar shack has been ranked in national magazines/food blogs all the time and it has literally the yummiest donuts I’ve ever had. Coming from cbus where donuts is just Krispy Kreme, I truly can say I’ve never known anything better existed. Sugar shack is like a bigger, better krispy kreme. It doesn’t melt away in your mouth in seconds like krispy kreme but it is still so fluffy and airy inside like lightweight bakery bread almost. Planning on bringing a dozen of these home after graduation!

6) Bombolini Pasta - a little place in Carytown that has really authentic pasta and delicious sauces, as well as a bunch of homemade frozen ravioli you can buy and cook later at home. I love that the noodles here are never overcooked, like true pasta should be served :) 

7) Honey Truffle Fries and Salt n Pepper Fries with Garlic Aioli at Postbellum - this place has a cute little rooftop bar and the most amazing thin fries!!! honey + truffle oil topped with shaved parmesan - could there be a better combo?! The only fries I like better than here are the crispy BonChon ones but BonChon can be found outside of RVA too!

8) Social 52 Crab Dip with Pita - I’ve never had better crab dip, or maybe I was just really drunk xD this bar does have a ton of tasty fusion style apps though!

9) Toast Sweet Potato Tater Tots - a gastropub right beside my school that often rotates out some really unique fusion style dishes (kimchi aiolis and shiz like that) but we always come back to their staple side dish, the sweet potato tots. MMMMMM mmm mm! People make sweet potato fries all the time, but tots? wowzaa

10) Gelati Celesti Chocolate Decadence - hands down the creamiest, thickest, chocolateyest cold creamy gelato goodness you’ll ever try! 

11) Noorani’s Gobi Manchurian, Chicken 65, Egg biryani, and Seekh Kabab - omg I could go on and on about this place forever. Yes your stomach will rebel against you the following day but it is worth the later pain hahaha. I just LOVE their gobi manchurian (fried cauliflower tossed in an indo-chinese sauce), they have the most well-spiced chicken 65 ever, biryani is on the wetter side which I LOVE, and mmm the seekh kabob is served in the most amazing sauce with sliced ginger and it’s just like pakistani heaven!!! It breaks my heart thinking about how much I’ll miss this place :’( even though service is crap, food is always delicious.

12) Zzzaaaam bibimbap bowls - this place is like a korean chipotle but it has every topping you’d ever want in your bibimbap at extremely reasonable prices, with a variety of super tasty sauce combos and topped with sesame oil drizzle. I always feel fairly healthy eating here too which is a bonus :) 

13) New Grand Market Cafe’s Jajungmyeon with Tangsooyuk = ehrmygawd this is the most amazing combination ever created!! Tasty hot noodles in black bean seafood sauce paired with crispy sweet & sour pork & bell peppers/onions = heaven on earth; place is also a supermarket so you can stock up on asian snacks while you’re here!

14) Chadar Thai’s Drunken Noodles and Curry Fried Rice - the best Thai place in this city. Ignore the overpriced and underwhelming Carytown places (thai diner, mom’s siam, ginger thai, thai top ten, elephant thai, thai palace, etc) and come here! Definitely the BEST and most flavorful thai place around!! Their drunken noodles are UNBEATABLE and yes I’ve tried like 7 other places so I would know lololol

15) Shyndigz Fruit Cake and Key Lime Pie - this place is the cutest little date dessert spot!! they have christmas lights everywhere indoor and outdoors and just the cutest little southern belle/rustic theme; grab a slice of their super moist and fresh fruitcake or absolutely perfectly tart key lime pie with the tastiest crust with your girls or a boo thang and enjoy it under the christmas light warm glow!! you’ll 100% have a night to remember :) 

16) Plaza Azteca burritos/enchiladas - so I’m not a huge fan of Mexican because I find a lot of the dishes bland but this place is diff. and they believe in heavy use of sauces/queso which I LOVEEEE. the free nachos/salsa they give are amazing (super thin crispy nachos and the smoothest/freshest salsa), made to order guac is perfect!!, and any of their burritos/enchiladas are bound to be completely covered in sauce and other drizzles and also laying in like a literal pool of more sauce so ohmygoodness yes I’m a big fan

17) Burger Bach New Zealand Burgers - def on the costlier side but comes with a side of fancy salad w like arugula and shiz not just iceberg lettuce and a bunch of creative dips for your fries; burger is also bigger and more flavorful than at Jack Brown’s but Jack beats this place based on price and bun and size and convenience and that freaking pickle ... lol burger bach to jack browns is like shake shack to in-n-out ... one is obvs more expensive and better in quality but the other is unique in taste and affordable sooooooo ya just love BOTH!

18) Mama J’s Southern Kitchen - if you want real soul food this is where its at; here is the only place I like collard greens and they have the sweetest yams and amazing catfish (only place better was in new orleans!) and these freaking awesome wings you must ask for tossed in something called Edy’s sauce. not even sure wtf is in that sauce but it’s bliss

19) Addis Kitchen’s Injera - have you tried ethiopian bread before?? liz and I came across this place when we went to a lackluster italian festival and still needed more food and tried injera for the first time. it was delicious!! it’s a sour, spongey bread that isn’t heavy at all you could literally eat it for ages and just paired amazingly with their veggie/meat dishes which remind me of indian curries a bit. def an experience i’d recommend!

20) Foo Dog’s Fried Tofu and Malaysian Ramen - ok so this place is no fukuryu but the coconut based lemongrass soup is really tasty (noodles need work) and their fried tofu app is deliciously stuffed with a bunch of flavorful veggies and sauces and if you want some bao sandwiches/asian street food combos this is def a good place!

21) Continental Westhampton’s Poutine Fries - omggg this plate of fries is not only covered in gravy but also scallions and an EGG and cheese and if this isn’t your idea of dream loaded fries idk what is

22) Galaxy Diner Malt Shakes and Pickle Chips - so this diner serves breakfast all day and is perfect for post drinking food binges that will do major damage to your waistline but all the greasy foods are just okay in my opnion; really not a standout place except for the funky atmosphere/lighting and one particularly spectacular drink: their malt shakes!!!!!! enough said

23) Don’t Look Back Fish Tacos (traditional style) and Chorizo tacos (gringo style) - it’s not quite LA street taco quality but it’s about as good as it gets around here!

24) Cookout banana shake, chili cheese dogs, chicken nugs, cheese fries, and onion rings - a late night drive through that has everything you’d ever want at 2am in the morning at dollar prices. how perf is this? 

There’s probably places I’m forgetting (as you can tell I’ve eaten out a LOT in college hahahhaa) so I’ll try to keep updating this but for now, these are the places that will always have a special place in my heart and that I highly recommend you trying if you’re ever heading to VA beach and feel compelled to stop by adorably historic and tasty Richmond!

[theproseccopalace]

Just Hang In There

Today has been a particularly trying day.

Nevermind the weird dreams. Nevermind the waking up from sleep in the middle of the dream. Nevermind the tripping over my own feet all morning until I could conjure my first cup of coffee. Nevermind the fact that my own son, beloved blood of my blood, says “no” to everything i ever offer him to eat.

As the mom to a child on the spectrum, some days are great. But days like today are tiring. Especially when he yells at me. I feel every creak in my 42 year old bones. I feel more of my hairs turning gray. I feel my appetite smothered by the old anxiety that he will not progress beyond being 9 years old, or eating nutella sandwiches forever.

If only the nutella habit made me THIS happy.

Today what set him off was chicken pot pie. It’s on his menu for today. It’s not like it was a surprise. But oh! The screaming... It went on and on and on. My son is orally defensive, so that means he’s NEVER put anything even remotely resembling anything but his own nails in his mouth. Not even a pacifier when he was a baby. He accepted one when he was teething, but he was laughing so hard at the squeaking it made when it scraped around on his teeth that he never actually sucked on it. But he did succeed in drooling all over it. Alot.

Not pencils. Not straws. No sippy cups. And definitely not anything that even remotely resembles something edible. So of course a mom is gonna worry when her kid is on the 10% range of the growth chart for weight. Or 20% for height for his age. I worry constantly that he’s not getting enough nutrition.

I have tried many approaches, experts, and baby whisperers. It turns out that when he’s being assessed by these strangers, he’s an angel. It’s only with me that he’s going to throw all of his toys out of the pram.

But despite his “Damien” style raging at me today, I stayed calm. My face did. But in my chest my heart was sinking more and more. It’s like being a child again myself being admonished by a parent. I felt small, and so sad. He’s not understanding that its my duty to give him good homemade food. Cooked with love in my heart and the hope that it will nourish him at the least, if not give him joy in eating it. 

There is no joy for him at dinnertime. Unless it’s one of the four or five acceptable foods that he prefers. Rice and chicken. Or rice and beef. Mac n cheese and corn dog. Or a goddam nutella sandwich. These are the items that will give me an easy dinner with a chatty boy. But I’m not willing to give up on him, or to give up my attempting to keep him even minimally healthy. He makes it hard. I’m not going to lie.

And I’m also not going to allow him to bait me. I know he gives me the hardest time. I also know I can’t budge when the angry wolf in him huffs and puffs. I have to be the house made out of stone. And not blow away when he crushes me with his screams.

Tonight, after he walked away from the table for the nth time, I calmly got up, wrapped his food up for later, and my daughter and I walked away. She was finished and had to go shower, but its hard not to let him destroy the dinner vibe we try to set for him. We both want to give up.

But this only made him scream more. And panic. Because I’ve changed the parameters of his game by not playing it, he doesn’t know what to do now. I tell him - eat. Or don’t. It’s his choice.

I called my husband as my son raged in the background. It sounded like I needed a priest with all the growling and raging from him. But I told my husband what happened, why he was screaming... why I was calling. Just keep me calm, I tell him. What I really want to say is, “Keep talking to me so I don’t spiral away into this black hole I’m currently being sucked into.”

And he understands. He’s done with work anyhow, just waiting on the final go ahead so he can come home. So he listens for the umpteenth time. I have no idea what he’s feeling when I call him like this, which isn’t often, but has happened before. Does he feel as powerless as I do? Does he want to fix it all? Or just want to shrink away and thank his lucky stars that it’s me and not him going through this trial again? I dunno. Because I’m not thinking about him. Not thinking about myself. Just thinking of my boy. And I’m waiting...

Waiting for the screaming to stop. Waiting for his rage to be spent. Waiting for it to sink in that I’m not trying to hurt him. Waiting for the lightbulb to go off in his mind that - oh! My mom isn’t trying to poison me! Because that’s what I feel like, and he’s even said it to me.

Sigh. Finally his raging stops. But I’m off the phone now. And I’m putting the laundry away. And my son comes to me, in my room where I am putting things away, and looks at me with his angel eyes. His doll face. He still smells like a baby - all maple syrup and cookies - though he’s almost ten years old. He bats his long lashes at me - the kind of lashes no boy should ever have the business of owning because small breezes stir when he blinks. “Mom.” He says.

But I ignore him.

“Mom. I’m sorry I got mad.” In his little boy, not yet a young man voice.

I drop what I’m doing, sit on the bed before him, and pull him into my arms so he can’t see me cry.

But he doesn’t hold me back. He just stays squished against me. And I wish and wait for the crushed feeling to leave me... but it stays. I say, “I just want you to understand me.” The dearest wish of my heart.

But he doesn’t understand. He says he does. But I know he doesn’t. Not yet. So i let him go... and he stands in front of me. And I let him see the tears running down my face.

I always show him when we get in a battle of wills, one I get pulled into against everything I am, and I’m sad. He understands sadness now - he’s seen me cry before. And this time, like all the others, he stares at me in blazing curiosity. Deeply in my eyes, when I’m at my most vulnerable, and he watches me. He wipes at his eyes too, but it’s only the stinging of tears to come, but he’s impatient with them b/c he doesn’t know why the tears are coming to him now. 

He tells me, “Mom, you should get a tissue, you are sobbing.”

But I’m not sobbing. Just sitting quietly. I nod at him. “Are you done being angry?”

“Yes. I’m done. I’m going to eat now.”

And just like that, the battle is over. I let him go, and he’s off to eat (a cold dinner by now), and I’m off to grab a tissue... and sob where he can’t hear me.

Is it really over? For now yes. It will happen again, but hopefully not anytime soon. All I know is this might be a war I will never fully win. But I have to keep trying... one day, maybe he’ll understand. But that’s not the point, is it? I don’t require him to understand me, but to understand himself, and that he needs to trust me. To let me be the mom. To trust me to guide him. Because right now, it’s always a battle. 

Sighhhhh....

[theforkedspoon]

Stress Free Lunch Ideas for Kids

This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Taylor Farms. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

Today I'm teaming up with Taylor farms to show you easy, veggie filled and hassle free lunch options your kids will love!  Yes, even my very own super picky eater ate raw carrots and broccoli.

Every morning, Monday through Friday, I wake up and do the same thing- make myself coffee, heat up some frozen form of breakfast food and pack Octavian lunch. Except for those rare occasions when I get a full night sleep and decide to make homemade waffles or french toast, there is absolutely nothing glamorous about mornings in my house.

(except for the coffee. the coffee is legit)

Of all parts of my morning, however, making my dearest, sweetest, pickiest (only) child lunch is my least favorite part. It wasn't always this way. When I first started the lunch time game my hopes were high- I was going to pack the most awesome, most homemade, most nutritious lunches ever. My kid was going to be soooo healthy.

And then I forgot his lunch...on the first day.

Since then, lunchtime has been a constant rotation of three main foods - mac n cheese, frozen berries and yogurt. To be honest, I could think of worse things in this world; after all, he is getting fruit, right? But he needs some greens.

So I tried to think like a 3 year old...

One thing I have learned, particularly about my child, is that they are more responsive to food if it is made by someone (anyone!) other than their own mom. For example, if my husband and I made the same exact dish, I can guarantee that Octavian would tell you mine tasted like dirt and my husbands was the best thing since sliced bread.

I wish I were kidding.

So, I thought...what if, in addition to the other usual lunch foods I send him to school with, I also packed a healthy Snack Tray? 

I am not trying to get hime to eat more; I am simply saving myself the time and energy adding new and exciting snacks, vegetables or fruits (to insure that he is getting a varied, healthy diet) to his lunch each day. I can still send him to school with his favorite mac n cheese or Jam sandwich, but simply switch up which snack tray I give him.

Basically, the Snack Trays are doing the work for me. Thank you, Taylor Farms!

(it takes a village)

For a couple weeks now I have been periodically surprising Octavian with one of these awesome Snack Trays in his lunchbox and each time it comes back empty. 

He also comes back covered in Ranch Dressing...

boys.

So far Octavian's favorite Taylor Farms Snack Trays include the Little Dipper Snack Tray (sweet carrots, crisp celery, waffle pretzels, juicy tomatoes, creamy ranch dip) and Healthy Harvest Snack Tray (crisp sliced apples, natural almonds, Colby jack cheese, sweet carrots).

But these awesome Snack Trays are not just for the kiddos! I have also been eating them on the regular. Always too busy to take a lunch break or prepare a healthy snack, these have become my favorite go-to snack or light lunch (they're super easy to eat with one hand, too!) PLUS, the Snap Happy Snack Tray has my fav snacking vegetable- snap peas! As well as sweet carrots, juicy tomatoes and creamy ranch dip.

Other reasons why the Taylor Farms Snack Trays are awesome:

They have Organic Snack Tray options available.

They are perfect for the WHOLE family - my husband even gets one in his lunch sometimes ;)

They're not just veggies. 

They're great for road trips and camping!

Serving sizes are not too big or small.

Great snack for playdates- each kiddo gets their own! (translation-no fighting)

Kiddos love them. Obviously...  

Have you tried one of Taylor Farms Snack Trays? What's your favorite?

Learn more about how Taylor Farms helps save me time in the kitchen while helping me feed my family healthy delicious meals...

Check out these easy recipes-

10 Minute Toasted Sesame Chopped Noodle Salad  

BBQ Chopped Blueberry and Chickpea Salad

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TAYLOR FARMS SNACK TRAYS AND FIND THEM IN A STORE NEAR YOU!

Find Taylor Farms on

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[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

7 Gluten Free Sources of Vegan Protein (That Aren't Tofu)

New blog post! Vegan. Plant-based. Flexitarian. Whatever you call it, eating less meat and more plant-based protein is in. In fact, one 2016 study found that 55 percent of Americans wanted to incorporate more plant-based foods into their diet that year. And, as those who follow my Instagram have probably realized, I'm one of them.

While I still sometimes eat meat and don't worry about sticking to a strict "vegan" diet with baked goods or processed foods, I've enjoyed experimenting with more vegan protein. The only problem? Tofu and I...well, we don't get along (in taste or my body's reaction to it). What's a girl to do? Find other ways to get protein, of course!

Today, I thought I'd share my top seven favorite sources of vegan protein - that aren't tofu! Ready to dive in? Just have a bib on hand! 1. Banza Pasta First off, I had to share one of my favorite gluten free pastas lately: Banza. I first discovered this brand when a box was included in my monthly Love With Food delivery (PSA: if you've never heard of Love With Food, check out my in-depth reviews here and here!). More recently, Banza contacted me about receiving free products in return for a review...and, of course, I couldn't type "yes" quick enough. 

Banza pasta is actually pasta made mostly of chickpeas, which means it's an A+ source of protein. In fact, one-fourth a cup of their rotini pasta (the kind I received) boasts 14 grams of protein and 8 grams of fiber. My favorite part, though, is the flavor. Compared to my typical rice pasta, Banza tastes a lot heartier. It holds up well when baked in my slow cooker mac n' cheese or just boiled on the stove top (which only takes 8-10 mins - score!).

Banza = bumpin' up the flavors!

As you could probably guess, my fave way to enjoy Banza is in vegan mac n' cheese with my homemade cheese sauce. However, it also tastes delish with pesto, spinach and extra chickpeas (got your protein, bro?) or even tossed in a salad. There really are as many options as there are Banza shapes! 2. Chia Seeds If I had to list the foods I always eat everyday, chia seeds would be at the top of the list. True, I had never heard of chia seeds before my celiac diagnosis, but once I met Mamma Chia, I've never looked back. 

Chia seeds respectively provide more omega-3, antioxidants, calcium, potassium, protein and fiber than salmon, blueberries, milk, bananas, soy beans and flax seeds. Basically chia seeds prove that good things come in small packages. I always throw in one or two tablespoons of chia seeds into my batch of smoothies. This not only bumps up the protein, but also makes my smoothies even thicker - just how I like 'em!

Chia seeds are also a MUST if you're cravin' thick and fluffy (oatless) oatmeal. The chia seeds expand and suck up the moisture, giving your oatmeal a lot of volume even if you use the same amount of ingredients as usual. Chia seeds are also a secret weapon for vegan baking, especially if you're allergic to flax seeds like I am. Instead of an egg, you can mix together one tablespoon of ground chia seeds with three tablespoons of water, as seen in my paleo and vegan pancakes.

My fave pancakes...

Chia seeds may not sound the most appetizing and, whenever my sister sees me eating them she still says, "You're going to grow a chia pet in your stomach!" But, really, chia seeds are as delicious as they are versatile for a gluten free, plant based chef.

3. All the beans! I've written about the magic of beans before, but this post wouldn't be complete without mentioning them as a source of vegan protein. When I first started eating beans, my stomach was not a fan (and I think you can fill in the blanks on what I'm talking about). However, I kept eating just small amounts of beans along with small amounts of meat/fish, and my stomach slowly adapted. 

Since I seem to be sensitive to fodmaps, I still have to watch how much I eat of certain bean types beans like chickpeas. However, I love trying out new ways to get my protein. As I've shared on my Instagram, my latest addiction is smashed black beans with potatoes and chips (for some killer creaminess and crunch).

My latest love...

One pro tip: you can also freeze your beans if, like me, you don't eat cans at a time (now that would be dangerous). Simply distribute your beans equally in a sealed plastic bag and freeze them in a layer. This let's you break off a chunk of beans and defrost just that portion whenever you like! It also keeps the beans from going bad, which saves money in the long run. Talk about a win/win. 4. YoFiit Nutritional Bars When you hear the phrase "protein bars," you probably don't think of "vegan" right after. While there are certainly plenty of bars relying on whey or other dairy/animal-based proteins, though, vegan protein bars are becoming more common. 

Recently, YoFiit reached out to me to try their new vegan (gluten free, nut free and soy free) nutritional bars. I immediately loved their ingredient list, which includes items like oats, quinoa, pea protein, cacao, and goji berries - all while offering 7 to 15 grams of protein, around 12 grams of fiber and added probiotics! I also like that they sell three different "types": a lemon coconut protein bar, an apple cinnamon morning fibre bar and a choco goji midday energy bar. Admittedly, these weren't as tasty as some of the other bars I've tried. The lemon coconut bar seemed to have a medicinal aftertaste, and the cacao goji is an acquired taste because of the bitter dark cacao. The apple cinnamon is my hands-down fave - which came as a huge surprise since I'm usually not a big apple girl!

In smoothies and granola!

As for how to use, you don't have to simply eat the bars whole! In fact, I hardly ever do that unless they're my emergency snack as I'm out running errands. Instead, I like crumbling the bars on my morning smoothie bowl or my nightly yogurt parfait for an extra hit of protein. You can even use protein bars as the secret ingredient to baked goods like homemade granola or my chocolate mug cake. Your loved ones won't even be able to tell that you snuck extra protein into their treat!  

5. Nuts and seeds Speaking of snacks, nuts and seeds are perhaps the easiest way to snack on plant based protein. While all nuts and seeds provide a degree of protein, some superstars include:

Pumpkin seeds - 28.8 grams of protein per 100 grams of seeds

Peanuts - 24.4 grams of protein per 100 grams

Pistachios - 21 grams of protein per 100 grams

Almonds - 21.2 grams of protein per 100 grams

Sunflower seeds - 19.3 grams of protein per 100 grams

As my Instagram followers know, I'm also a huge fan of nut and seed butters (I mean, who isn't?!?), ranging from sunbutter to cashew butter. They all offer varying amounts of protein, so eat what tastes best to you! 

Now, the more interesting part: how to eat them. For a savory meal, you can turn whatever nuts or seeds you have into a pesto (like with my Seed-Stuffed Pesto). If you combined this with a serving of Banza pasta - bam! Protein = met. My favorite way of eating nuts and seeds, though, will always be trail mix and homemade granola.

Pesto + roasted potato wedges = <3

Trail mix is an easy food you can take anywhere and enjoy anytime. You can also customize it to your taste buds (my personal favorite: cashews + sunflower and pumpkin seeds + shredded coconut + dried pineapple and raisins). As for granola, well, my various recipes reflect how completely addicted I am. You can sprinkle granola on smoothies or yogurt, eat it as a cereal or simply scoop it from the bag (pairing it with nut butter for even more protein)! When dessert can be healthy, the world truly is a better (delicious) place... 6. Quinoa and Buckwheat Now, both of these function as grains but are actually seeds - making them delicious, protein-packed alternatives to rice. In particular, quinoa offers 4.4 grams of protein per 100 grams (along with high levels of calcium, phosphorous, magnesium and folate) while buckwheat boasts 3.4 grams of protein as well as plenty of manganese, magnesium, and copper. 

Quinoa and buckwheat are also super versatile. You can buy quinoa flakes and buckwheat flakes, which are epic oatmeal alternatives. I used to eat quinoa flakes (upgraded with a variety of fruits, but butters and trail mix) for breakfast every morning. My mom, meanwhile, is still happily riding the buckwheat-flake train, eating a simple bowl of microwaved buckwheat flakes, banana, cinnamon and honey every morning.

No description needed...

You can also eat quinoa and buckwheat in savory forms, cooking them on the stove top and using them on top of salads or as the base of a stir fry or pilaf. You can also grind the grains into flour for baked goods like my pancakes or veggie-loaded pizza. And, since basically everything can go into granola, you can also toss raw buckwheat groats or quinoa into your granola batter. 7. Spirulina

Finally, last but not least, spirulina - which is also the highest source of plant based protein today. As I've written before, spirulina is actually an algae. However, this is one algae you do want to see in your food: spirulina is composed 60 to 70% of protein and offers high amounts of calcium, niacin, potassium, magnesium and iron.  

Compared to the other ingredients on this list, I definitely would not suggest eating spirulina straight. The taste isn't awful (in my opinion), but it's definitely a lil' funky. Instead, try to sneak in teaspoons of spirulina wherever you can. Add a small spoonful to your smoothie, which will not only boost the protein but also create a gorgeous green color. 

When "ice cream" = plant based protein, life is good!

You can also mix spirulina into your yogurt, (oatless) oatmeal, chia seed pudding or bliss balls/banana bombs. Just remember that less is more (because it's better to get some spirulina than add so much, you can't even eat what you created!), and add more according to taste. While spirulina's health benefits are probably best when left uncooked, you can also experiment with spirulina in baking. 

Sure, sometimes cooking with plant-based protein is harder than just grilling a steak. However, vegan protein can be just as delicious - and easy to use - as meat once you know what sources to look for and how to get creative in the kitchen. 

And if you're ever craving a protein-packed breakfast that isn't eggs...just remember that you can't go wrong with a spirulina smoothie bowl topped with granola, chia seeds and nut butter! 

*I received products from Banza and YoFiit in return for an honest review. However, all opinions, recipes and photographs are my own.*

What's your favorite way to eat your protein? What plant based proteins do you enjoy? Help me get inspired by commenting below! 

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