#but at least knowing that my family is aware of my passion to literature

[ariiiloves]

My great grandfather used to write poetry to my great grandma, and my grandmother has all the poems he wrote. And my aunt told her I am going to be a newspaper writer or something like that since I'm studying literature.

And it's such a silly thing, a tiny thing, but I don't know, it felt like I was actually seen in my family. Like "oh they actually think something of me"

[twst-drabbles]

Anon Sent

This is a little long, bear with me.

I think you’d get along with Trey and Silver just because they’re very chill people. They feel like the type that’d wholeheartedly listen to you ramble about your story ideas and praise your voice readings of various literature.

Even if Silver doesn’t understand at first I think he’d sincerely listen to you as long as you’re willing to explain to him. Even if he doesn’t understand in the end I think he’d appreciate and admire your passion for the subject, being able to relate to it with his own passion in protecting his family. If you read to him, he may fall asleep in the middle which he’d be very sincerely apologetic for but he’d also acknowledge how soothing your voice was and would be willing to listen to you again and try his best to stay awake. He may never succeed in that but at least you’d have a nap buddy and audience of cute forest critters. Listen I think he’d tried most forms of coffee before so if you’re into that go to him for advice. While he may not have the pickiest tongue to tell the subtle differences, he can at least point you in the direction of better tasting ones. He probably buys so many bags of coffee they’d go bad before he can finish them so expect him to ask you if you could help him finish them and give you free coffee. Free coffee!

Trey on the other hand would probably patiently listen to you when the two of you are baking together or even having tea time/trying out his new creations. Who knows maybe you’d end up inspiring him to make a new recipe or he’d inspire your next story. If you choose to bounce your ideas off him, he’d probably sheepishly smile and say that he may not be the best person to ask because he doesn’t know too much about writing but he’d be willing to help. He’s being humble but I think he’d be better than he claims. He seems like he’d be a careful listener that’d pay close attention to your words and ask questions when he doesn’t understand. He won’t comment on things he’s not confident about but when he does you can bet it’d come in useful whether its his life experiences (running a bakery, sibling anecdotes, etc) or his hobbies (baking, science club facts, selective breeding plants to bake with, dentist facts, etc). When you’re feeling upset I think he’d turn on his big brother mode (the one he turns onto Ace/Deuce sometimes) and without pressuring you too much would try to brighten up your day by asking you to try his new tart or talk to him about your hobbies.

I genuinely think they are two of the nicest people in NRC that won’t be in your face about it (*cough*Kalim*cough*, Ortho to a lesser extent, Ace/Deuce/Rook/Lilia). To be honest, the two of them rank towards the bottom of characters I’m interested in just because their personalities don’t stand out too much among the colorful cast of TWST. Of course that’s only fictionally, in real life I think they’d be some of the most reliable best friends you could ever have. Octotrio, though I love you all deeply with a passion that made me collect all your cards, I would run away from you in real life. No offense.

Ah Silver. His temperament would be a soothing balm compared to the rest of the college. I actually don’t know much about him, most of what I know comes from the way he speaks. Once I do figure out that he attracts forest critters, I would go out of my way towards him to pat them. If they let me of course. I will not help to wake him up unless he’s about to be late for class or something. Yeah, Trey does strike me as patient listener, but is also willing to be comfortable in silence since I will just, have an empty brain while I’m cooking. I go into autopilot usually. Often he does play down his own knowledge and abilities, but he can hold his own pretty consistently. Granted, he’s a little too aware of his own weaknesses, and in his head it’s rather obvious to him what his weaknesses are when they’re not that obvious. Oh the octotrio. Interesting as they are, the danger they pose is too much for most of us. They’re pretty closed off to forming more bonds unless you benefit them in some way or another. You had to have been around them at certain points in time but now that that period is over, it’ll be pretty difficult to try and get into their circle without you being just a “pros and cons” person. Kinda sad to see that he doesn’t see any value in us despite from an entirely different world, but I suppose that’s expect since just knowing something doesn’t mean it’ll churn out money.

[taradekker]

How to create a happy relationship? 

I used to wonder how to create a happy relationship. And then I just created it. Okay, not quite that simply. And not alone. It required several (a dozen?) years of continuous learning and drawing conclusions from trials and errors in relationships with other people. Anyway, I can definitely say now "Yes, I'm happy in a relationship with Jarek." And it's up to us how we go on. With the knowledge and experience that I now have, I can see that creating a successful relationship required (and still requires) a lot of self-awareness, openness of both me and my partner, and constant work to build every day what is good between us and appreciate what we've done so far. According to Niomi relationships can be a source of both happiness and sadness. Toxic relationships are a reality to be aware of.

HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP - IMPORTANT AREAS

The starting point for thinking about how to create a happy relationship is knowing what happiness in a relationship means to you. Perhaps you intuitively feel that you know, but if you were to write it down on a piece of paper or tell someone what image you have before your eyes, it would be difficult for you to do so. Therefore, I encourage you to read the article on this topic and do the exercises that are contained in it. Or maybe you're already fully aware of what a happy relationship means to you - then I invite you to look at a few areas that I know, partly from research and partly from my own experience, that affect the feeling of happiness in a relationship.

SIMILAR VALUES AND GOALS

Similar values ​​are definitely my number 1 when it comes to a happy relationship. You can find out how to discover your values ​​here . Couples with different education, personality and sometimes even interests can have a healthy and warm relationship - what matters is that they have common values ​​and goals. Couples of different religions or cultural backgrounds can be happy with each other - what makes their relationship good is the common value of faith. Research shows that people with the same spiritual or religious orientation declare a higher level of satisfaction with their relationship and family than people with different orientations .

EMPATHY AND HONEST COMMUNICATION

One of the most important areas that answers the question "How to create a happy relationship" is good communication between partners.

The first element of this good communication is empathy . The term is commonly used to refer to two distinctly different phenomena: affective response to the situation of others and role-taking associated with the cognition process. Put simply, empathy can be understood as an emotional reaction (e.g. a friend is sad, she cried because of a difficult situation at work and I also start to feel sad about it) or as an understanding of another person (I understand their situation and emotions, but I don't feel). Understanding (or at least trying to) the other person is particularly important in relationship communication.

SIMILAR INTERESTS

For a long time, in the press, literature or ordinary discussions between people, there has been a fight about whether relationships of opposites attracting each other work better or maybe people who have a lot in common 🙂 And although opposites can undeniably stimulate and develop, we do well common passion or minor hobby. It is worth looking for them and cherishing them. It's not about us becoming like Siamese twins and spending 100% of our free time together 😉 Each of us is different, has our own interests that we may want to leave for ourselves to have something "own". It's healthy. However, discovering activities that bring pleasure to both parties, arouse curiosity about each other and each other's thoughts can only work to the advantage.

[queenshelby]

ME AND THE DEVIL – PART ONE

Featuring: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Words: 3555

Warning: Smut, Abuse 

Notes: This is fiction and not historically accurate. It plays somewhere in the middle of Season 5, after Tommy met Oswald Mosley and became affiliated with him but before he planned to assassinate him.

Tag List: 

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal 

@chrisevanshoeee

 @desperate-and-broken

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@severewobblerlightdragon

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

------

You were the oldest daughter of the chief of police in London and married to Oswald Mosley. The marriage between you and Oswald was arranged by your father who was supporting Mosley’s fascist movement.

Your husband was abusive and disrespectful towards you. You despised him and his fascist views. Luckily for you, he didn’t involve you in many political events. You were only obliged to attend functions with him where it benefitted him and his party.

You were aware that he was expanding his party but you didn’t involve yourself with politics, at least so it seemed. You knew that the fascist movement was dangerous and you hoped that, one day, your husband would pay for his sins.

You were not allowed to work, but you were allowed to volunteer at the local orphanage and soup kitchen. As the wife of Oswald Mosley, this was beneficial for his political campaign so he didn’t intervene. Little did he know that this was where you would meet one of his enemies.

Just so it happened that, on a Thursday evening when you were volunteering at the orphanage, you met a mysterious stranger.

Dressed in a comfortable but elegant dress, you unpacked several toys that were delivered from the Womens Association of Birmingham for the children at the orphanage.

The children were excited and you could barely keep up with their demand. Their excitement was overwhelming and their eyes lit up as they took the toys from your hands. It wasn’t often that they received brand new toys and you took joy simply in seeing their excitement. You wanted children of your own, but not with your husband. He wasn’t capable to be a good father and you were glad that, despite numerous attempts, you didn’t conceive.

After years, he told you that you were worthless, not being able to give him a child. But you were somewhat grateful for it. It also meant that he no longer bothered to force you to sleep with him, which never was pleasurable in any sort of way. You were pleased to learn that, after years of abuse, he found whores to be of more interest to him than you.

The work at the orphanage took you away from your miserable life. Working with children was pure joy for you and gave you the courage to inform on your husband to the communist partry. You did it for them, so that they can grow up in a world free from oppression. Your husband was the devil and you knew that very well.

Just as you went to get the last box of toys from the van, a man approached you from behind.

‘Please, let me help you with this’ the man said, taking the heavy box from your hands. He could see that you were struggling with its weight. After all, you were of small statue.

‘Thank you, Mr…’ you said in a way you would usually ask a question.

‘Shelby. Thomas Shelby’ the man said as he walked inside with you.

You showed him where to place the box so that you could unpack it as, all of a sudden, one of the nuns from the orphanage walked towards you from the hallway.

‘Please, Mr Shelby, you do not need to do this’ the nun said with a hasty voice.

‘But it’s my pleasure’ Tommy said as he opened the box and helped you unpack it.

‘Thank you’ you said with a shy smile as you couldn’t help it but stare into his bright blue eyes.

‘No thank you for the work you are doing here Y/N. It is admirable’ Tommy said with a warm smile.

‘I take joy in it’ you said before asking him how he knew your name.

Your question caused Tommy to point to your name tag.

You flushed immediately. Of course, he can read.

‘Very informal’ Tommy said as he observed that the name tag only had your first name on it.

‘Well, I like to be the children’s friend. I am not one of the mistresses or teachers here. I simply volunteer’ you said whilst, the truth was, you were embarrassed of who you were. Y/N Mosley, the wife of a fascist. Of course, you weren’t going to tell him that.

‘We need more kind hearted people like you in a world like this Y/N’ Tommy said as he unpacked the last toy from the box.

‘Please, you make me blush Mr Shelby’ you said shyly while looking up into his piercing blue eyes again.

He was much older than you, probably the same age as your husband, but he was incredibly attractive. Unlike your husband, he appeared kind hearted in his own way.

‘My apologies, it wasn’t my attention to make you uncomfortable’ Tommy said with a smile.

‘It’s quite alright Mr Shelby. Thank you again for helping with this’ you said as you were wondering why he was at the orphanage.

‘Tell me, why are you here? What is your business?’ you asked with curiosity.

‘I am having a meeting with Miss Walsh at 4 o’clock to discuss the funding of the new library for the orphanage. As you know, the orphanage has the facility on site. It’s unused and will need to be fenced. And of course, we will need books’ Tommy said. You could hear the passion in his voice for the project.

‘Are you funding it?’ you asked bluntly.

‘My late wife’s charity is. She cared deeply for children who were abandoned or lost their parents in the war’ Tommy explained.

‘She seemed like a wonderful woman and I am sorry for your loss Mr Shelby’ you said.

‘She was and thank you for your kind words Y/N’ Tommy said.

‘May I offer you a tea? Just while you wait for Miss Walsh?’ you asked.

Tommy agreed and you sat down in the reading room for 15 minutes before Miss Walsh arrived.

You enjoyed your conversation with Tommy. He seemed like a smart man, elegant, firm and yet kind hearted.

The conversations you had were mostly about the orphanage and plans for the education of the children. You loved to read and you liked the idea of a library. You shared ideas for fundraisers and it was evident to you that Tommy was intrigued by you. His eyes wandered everywhere, from your face, down to your hands, which is where he noticed your wedding ring.

‘You are married. Do you and your husband have children?’ Tommy asked.

‘No, we do not. How about you Mr Shelby?’ you asked.

‘A son and a daughter’ Tommy said.

‘Then you are lucky’ you responded just as Miss Walsh arrived.

You said goodbye to Tommy and, just as he was about to leave with Miss Walsh, he asked you whether you would be interested to help with the establishment of the library since you were familiar with literature.

You were surprised that a man like him would personally involve himself with a project like this. It was more common for rich men to simply provide the funds. But, he seemed to care for this particular project, so you agreed.

A few weeks after your encounter with Tommy, the books arrived and you volunteered to sort them and arrange the library for the children.

Tommy came by one afternoon to see how the project came along and offered you his assistance. But most of the time it was his sister Ada who attended the library to catalogue the books with you.

She was a kind woman, socially aware and most defiantly in favour of the communist movement.

Despite your numerous discussions about politics, Ada never thought to mention that her brother Tommy was a politician himself. In fact, she didn’t like to speak about him at all.

Another week later, you were surprised to see Tommy at the library at lunch time.

‘Good Afternoon Y/N’ Tommy said as he brought in another box of books.

‘Mr Shelby, I am surprised to see you’ you said. This was your third encounter with Tommy and you were pleased to see him. You were intrigued by him.

‘I thought you could use some help since my sister is busy with errands today’ Tommy said.

‘So, you came here to help me catalogue books?’ you said sheepishly.

‘Making appearances Y/N, that’s all’ he said as he began to unpack the books.

‘Thank you, Mr Shelby, but…’ you said and before you could continue, Tommy interrupted you.

‘Please, just call me Tommy’ he said as he handed you the books.

You climbed up the ladder to put them onto the higher shelves just as Tommy advised you that, the truth was, that he had meeting with Miss Walsh again but that he set aside some time for the library beforehand.

Tommy and you talked for a while as you shelved the books. You noticed his eyes gaze over you again on several occasions in particular when you stepped up the ladder. He was clearly looking at your ass, possibly even your underwear, but you didn’t mind.

Every time you came down from the ladder, he stood uncomfortably close to you, so close that you could smell the scent of his aftershave. It smelled like musk and he was clearly chewing mint, probably to hide the smell of the cigarettes.

He was handsome, very handsome and the look he gave you every time he handed you more books from the table was intense. A look of want and desire. Or were you imagining it?

Unfortunately, your encounter with him only lasted for about thirty minutes before he had to excuse himself in order to meet with Miss Walsh.

You said goodbye to Tommy with a warm smile and received a smile in return.

Just after he left, you went on with cataloguing the books. It was a slow process and you were the only volunteer on duty that day. Your husband approved. Doing community service was beneficial to his party and political goals. It shows that him and his family care for the community.

But you simply did it because you felt it was right and gave you a purpose.

You spent nearly every day at the library and almost all books were catalogued.

After another half an hour, you had one more box to shelf for the day. You were focused, your mind entirely with the books.

To your surprise, just as you stepped down from the ladder to grab more books for the top shelf, your face was just above Tommy’s face. You couldn’t believe that he was there. You never heard him come back.

‘How long have you been standing there?’ you asked as your foot touched the floor.

‘A few minutes, just enough to admire the view’ he said sheepishly and you weren’t sure whether to smack or kiss him.

But, before you could make up your mind, he leaned in and took the kiss he’s been desperate for since the moment you’ve met.

The kiss was gentle at first, brushing his lips against yours a couple of times, then locking them together in a haste, allowing your tongues to explore each other.

You had never been kissed this way before and gave into him completely.

Your mind told you to stop, to push him away. You didn’t know this man and if your husband was to find out, it would be detrimental for the both of you.

But in your heart, you wanted this so badly. This and so much more.

As your tongues played with each other, coyly at first, then like long-lost lovers, Tommy’s hands ran over your back all the way down to your ass.

His lips tasted sweet and his hands sent shivers through your body.

Without breaking the kiss, Tommy’s hands wandered beneath your skirt, gently and passionately.

‘Not here. The reading area’ you whispered just after you broke away from the kiss.

Tommy nodded just before he planted his mouth just above your clavicle.

While planting gentle kisses over you, Tommy navigated to one of the long desks in the reading area.

He was so gentle, a feeling that was unfamiliar to you. Despite the fact that you barely knew him, you somehow trusted him and wanted him.

Just as your back hit the desk, Tommy lifted you up to sit on it before gently pushing your legs apart.

He moved in between your legs while continuing to kiss you. His skilled fingers began unbuttoning your white blouse, revealing your lace bra.

No words were spoken as Tommy ran his index fingers down the inside of the straps of your bra, over the edges of the cups, then down your cleavage, all while gazing his eyes over your body.

He kept this tease up until you got impatient. Your breathing became heavy as he pulled the bra down, freeing your breasts. Your areolas were covered in goosebumps and your nipples were puffed up. The reading lamp lit all your curves in titillating contrast and you could that Tommy enjoyed what he was seeing.

Not ever had a man looked at you with such desire. You only ever been with one man, your husband, and this was new territory. You actually enjoyed yourself and were feeling guilty about it.

‘So beautiful’ Tommy whispered just before his lips kissed, licked and sucked their way to your stiff nubs on your breasts.

His hands cupped, squeezed and kneaded your smooth flesh and you moaned deeply and gripped the edge of the desk behind you.

Tommy flicked the tip of his tongue across your nipple before nibbling naughtily around it. Not ever had anyone paid such attention to your breasts and you started to feel something that was unfamiliar to you.

You could feel a tingling sensation build up in between your legs and your lace panties were getting wet.

Just as Tommy continued to stimulate your breasts, you gasped and threw your head back as his teeth ever-so-gently brushed up against your nubs again.

Tommy’s hands soon moved from your breasts down beneath your skirt, brushing over the inside of your thighs.

You pushed your legs together for a moment, unsure whether to give in or not.

You despised being touched there by your husband but this was actually enjoyable.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Tommy asked, noticing your reluctance.

‘No, please don’t’ you said as you decided to let him proceed, opening your legs again.

You were slightly embarrassed by the wetness pooling in between your legs but, to your surprise, Tommy seemed pleased with it.

‘You are so wet Love’ he smirked as his fingers finally brushed over your panties just before he crashed his lips back onto yours.

You moaned into the kiss as his fingers pulled aside your panties and you could feel his finger tips roam over your entrance.

You tried hard to relax as Tommy’s fingers ran up and down your slit and started spread your juices.

He teased your entrance, just slipping in a single finger and only to his first knuckle.

This must be what foreplay was all about you thought as you kept giving in to your moans.

‘Tommy’ you moaned, desperate for more and, just like that, Tommy suddenly bit your neck gently while plunging his finger deep inside you.

Your moans turned to a gasp and a whimper as pleasure flooded your senses. You knew that Tommy had just left a hickey and, whilst you should be concerned, it just made you even wetter.

Tommy kept kissing and biting your neck as he added another finger inside of you and explored you with his fingers. The tip of his finger found many crevices but, unbeknownst to you, he was searching for your g-spot.

‘Fuck, oh god’ you screamed all of a sudden as Tommy’s fingers pressed upwards, earning you smirk from Tommy.

He had just found what he was looking for and, based on your reaction, it was evident to him that he was the first to have found your sweet spot.

Just as he relieved the pressure inside you, he pushed his fingers up again, and again, each time causing you to moan loudly.

‘Shh Love, one of the nuns might hear you’ Tommy whispered sheepishly just as he pulled his fingers out of you.

All these sensations were unfamiliar to you.

‘Please don’t stop’ you pleaded. It felt so good.

Tommy pulled you close for another kiss to shallow your moans before slipping his fingers back inside of you.

His fingers began to push against your g-spot again, running smooth circles and stimulating it just the right way. You were panting. It was ecstasy and you could feel an unfamiliar tension build up in your stomach.

‘I am going to make you come now Love. Try to be quiet’ Tommy said and you had literally no idea what he was talking about until, all of a sudden, he pushed into you with more force.

Your whimpers soon turned into shouts and you clenched onto Tommy’s arms firmly.

It wasn’t long until Tommy could feel your walls tighten around his two fingers.

‘Oh my god’ you moaned before you held your breath, not knowing what was happening to you as you felt your orgasm roll through your body.

‘That's it Love’ Tommy said satisfied as he continued to stimulate you.

You gasped as electricity shot up and down your spine while Tommy kissed you again to soften your screams.

He could hear footsteps approach and quickly withdrew his fingers.

‘Mr Shelby, is everything alright?’ one of the nuns asked loudly.

‘Yes, I am just helping with the books’ Tommy said with a grin on his face as he rearranged his pants to deal with his throbbing erection.

You were quick to button up your blouse before the nun approached.

‘I just thought I could hear a scream, that’s all’ the nun said.

‘Yes, that was me, I caught a splinter from the ladder and Mr Shelby just helped me get it out from my finger’ you said, your face still flushed and your hair messy.

‘Mr Shelby, if you do have a minute, Mr Connel would like to discuss the article in the paper for your campaign’ the nun said. ‘We thought that you had left but when I saw your car I hoped that I would find you here’ she added.

‘Of course’ Tommy said and, just like that he left.

‘It was nice to see you Y/N. Perhaps we meet again sometime soon’ he said with a grin as he followed the nun.

‘Likewise, Mr Shelby’ you responded.

You wanted to so much more but, since you almost got caught, it was probably for the better that you didn’t take this further.

You were hoping to see Tommy again but, for the next couple of weeks, he didn’t attend the orphanage.

You asked his sister Ada about him with some curiosity.

‘My brother is probably busy in Westminster. Although, who knows. I have given up on following politics. Why are you asking?’ Ada said.

‘Politics? Is Thomas a politician?’ you asked surprised and slightly concerned.

‘Yes, he is a member of parliament. Did you not know?’ Ada asked surprised.

‘I had no idea’ you said, wondering whether he knew your husband and whether you were nothing but a political stunt. Was this planned by an opponent? Did Tommy know who you were? Or was it a sheer mistake?

All these thoughts were wandering through your mind as Ada was talking to you and you didn’t listen to a single word she said.

‘Y/N? Are you alright?’ Ada asked.

‘Yes sorry, I am fine’ you said just before finishing up for the day. You had to make your way home soon before dinner.

You excused yourself and headed home. The thoughts however wouldn’t leave your head.

Your husband wasn’t home when you arrived. As usual, he was either with your sister or at the whorehouse.

You didn’t care much and enjoyed the nights on your own. You were no longer sharing a bedroom but you hated to cross his way when he was around. A black eye here and there or some bruises and scratches were the norm when he was there.

The next morning, Oswald walked through the door at around 8 o’clock, just in time for breakfast.

‘Did you buy yourself a dress for tonight?’ he asked after shouting at the maid. The coffee was too cold for his liking.

‘Oswald, please’ you said, trying to reason with him as the maid left rather upset.

‘Then you get the fucking coffee, wife!’ Oswald shouted and you got up, taking his cup and walking towards the kitchen.

‘There you go’ you said as you returned with a fresh cup from the kitchen.

‘See, that wasn’t that hard now, was it? Even my fucking wife could manage’ he said to the maid as he took a sip.

‘Now dear, did you get yourself a dress? Something outstanding for the gala?’ Oswald asked.

‘Of course. You will approve. It is very elegant and expensive’ you said.

‘Good. We need to make an impression. You will meet the new members of my party and, as you know, all politicians judge each other. There is no room for mistakes’ Oswald explained.

‘Of course, I understand. Now would you please excuse me. I will need to freshen up’ you said before Oswald waived you away

[youneedasoultraveller]

Is the popular headcanon that Nicky was illiterate, stupid and barbaric fitting in the stereotypes about Southern Europeans / Mediterraneans ? I’m guessing it’s from the American part of the fandom that’s choosing to not respectfully write Nicky since he is white while being virulent towards anybody that doesn’t perfected and accurately write Joe because he is MENA.

Hello!

Mind you, I am neither a psychologist, a sociologist nor a historian, so of course be aware these are my own views on the whole drama.

But to answer your question, yes, I personally think so. It definitely comes from the American side, but I have seen Northern Europeans do that too, often just parroting the same type of discourse that Anglos whip out every other day.

There is an abysmal ignorance of Medieval history – even more so when it concerns countries that are not England: there is this common misconception that Europe in the Middle Ages was this cultural backwater full of semi-barbaric people that stems unfortunately not only from trying to (correctly) reframe colonialist approaches to the historiographies of non-European populations (that is, showing the Golden Age of Islamic culture, for instance, as opposed to what were indeed less culturally advanced neighbours), but also from distortions operated by European themselves from the Renaissance onwards, culminating in the 18th century Enlightenment philosophes categorising the Middle Ages as the Dark Ages.

Now this approach has been time and time again proven to be a made-up myth. I will not go into detail to disprove each and every single one misconception about the Medieval era because entire books have been written, but just to give you an example: there was no such a thing as a ius primae noctis/droit du seigneur; people were aware that the Earth was not flat (emperors, kings, saints, etc, they were depicted holding a globe in their hands); people were taking care of their hygiene, either through the Roman baths, or natural springs, or private tubs that the wealthier strata of the population (and especially the aristocracy) owned. The Church was not super happy about them not because it wanted people to remain dirty, but because often these baths were for both men and women, and it was not that in favour of them showing off their bodies to one another. Which, you know, we also don’t do now unless you go to nudist spas. It was only during the Black Death in the 14th century that baths were slowly abandoned because they became a place of contagion, and they went into disuse (or better, they changed purpose and became something like bordellos). And, lastly, there was certainly a big chunk of the population that was illiterate, but certainly it was not the clergy, which was THE erudite class of the time. It was in monasteries and abbeys that knowledge was passed and preserved (as well as lost unfortunately often, such as the case for the largest part of classical literature).

So what does this mean? According to canon, Nicolò was an ex priest who fought in the First Crusade. This arguably means that at the very least he was a cadet son of a minor noble family (or a wealthy merchant one) who was part of the clergy. As such, historically he could have been neither illiterate nor a dirty garbage cat in his daily life.

Let’s then talk geography. Southern Europe (and France) was far, far more advanced than the North at the time and Italy remained the cultural powerhouse of the continent until the mid-17th century. Al Andalus in the Iberian Peninsula, the Italian States,  the Byzantine Empire (which called itself simply Roman Empire, whose population defined itself as Roman and cultural heirs of the Latin and Greek civilisations): these places have nothing to do with popular depictions of Medieval Europe that you mainly see from the Anglos. Like @lucyclairedelune rightfully pointed out: not everyone was England during the plague.

Also the Middle Ages lasted one thousand years. As a historical age, it’s way longer than anything we had after that. So of course habits varied, there was a clear collapse right after the fall of the Western Roman Empire, but then things develop, you know?

Anyway, back to the point in question. Everything I whipped up is not arcane knowledge: it’s simply having studied history at school and spending a few hours reading scientific articles on the internet which are not “random post written by random Anglo on Tumblr who can hardly find Genoa on a map”.

Nicolò stems from that culture. The most advanced area in Europe, possibly a high social class, certainly educated, from Genoa, THE maritime superpower of the age (with…Venice). It makes absolutely no sense that he would not be able to speak anything past Ligurian: certainly Latin (the ecclesiastical one), maybe the koine Greek spoken in Constantinople, or Sabir, or even the several Arabic languages from the Med basin stretching from al Andalus to the Levant. Because Genoa was a port, and people travel, bring languages with them, use languages to barter.

And now I am back to your question. Does this obstinacy in writing him as an illiterate beast (basically) feed into stereotypes of Mediterranean people (either from the northern or the southern shore)? It does.

It is a typically Anglo-Germanic perspective that of describing Southern (Catholic) Europeans are hot-headed, illiterate bumpinks mindlessly driven by blind anger, lusts and passions, as opposed to the rational, law-abiding smart Northern Protestants. You see it on media. I see it in my own personal life, as a Southern Italian living in Northern Europe for 10 years.

Does it sound familiar? Yes, it’s the same harmful stereotype of Yusuf as the Angry Brown Man. But done to Nicolò as the Angry Italian Man (not to mention the fact that, depending on the time of day and the daily agenda of the Anglo SJW Tumblrite, Italians can be considered either white or non-white).

Now, the times where Nicolò is shown as feral are basically when he is fighting (either in a bloody war or against Merrick’s men) or when Yusuf is in danger. Because, guess what, the man he loves is being hurt. What a fucking surprise.

Nicolò is simply being reduced to a one dimensional stereotype of the dirty dumb angry Italian, and people are simply doing this because they do not seem to accept the fact that both he and Yusuf are two wonderfully complex, flawed, fully-fledged multidimensional characters.

So I am mainly concentrating on Nicolò here because as an Italian I feel more entitled to speak about the way I see the Anglo fandom treating him and using stereotypes on him that have been consistently applied to us by the Protestant Northerners. I keep adding the religious aspect because, although I am an atheist who got debaptised from the Catholic Church, a big part of the historical treatment towards Southern has to do with religion and the contempt towards Catholic rituals and traditions (considered, once again, a sign of cultural backwardness by the enlightened North).

I do not want to impose my view of Yusuf because there are wonderful Tumblr users from MENA countries who have already written wonderful metas of the way Yusuf is being depicted by non-MENA people (in particular Americans), especially (again) @lucyclairedelune and @nizarnizarblr.

However, I just want to underline that, by only ever writing Yusuf as essentially a monodimensional character without a single flaw, this takes away Yusuf’s canon multidimensionality, the right he has to feel both positive but also negative feelings (he was hurt and angry at Booker’s betrayal, allegedly his best friend, AND HE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE – and I say this as a Booker fan as well).

I have not been the first to say these things, it is nothing revolutionary, and it exactly complements what the MENA tumblr users in the TOG fandom have also been trying to say. Both of us as own voices people who finally have the chance to have two characters that are fully formed and honest representations of our own cultures, without stereotypes or Anglogermanic distortions.

And the frustration mounting among all of us comes from the fact that the Anglos are, once again, not listening to us, even telling us we are wrong about our own cultures (see what has happened to Lucy and Nazir).

What is even more frustrating is that everything in this cursed fandom – unless it was in the film or comics – is just a bloody headcanon. But these people are imposing their HCs as if it were the Word of God, and attacking others – including own voices MENA and Italians – for daring to think otherwise.

I honestly don’t expect this post will make any difference because this is just a small reflection of what Americans do in real life on grander scale, which is thinking they are the centre of the world and ignoring that the rest of the world even exists regardless of their own opinions on it.

But still, sorry for the length, hope I answered your question.

[postmodernbeing]

Shingeki no Kyojin headcanons: 104th training corps (College AU)

Hello, Postmodernbeing here. This time I wanted to write about things that I actually know, since I’m a college student and I’m studing History and Social Sciences I found myself wondering about what would the 104th training corps focus their studies on if all of them had chosen humanities as their career. I hope you find this funny and at least a bit accurate.

IMPORTANT:  I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, only these HCs are my own. // Might contain a few spoilers from the manga. // English is not my first language and I study uni at Latin America, so scientifical terms/words/concepts may vary. Anyhow, I thank you for reading and for your patience.

Eren Jaeger

He’s passionate about Military History, not to be confused with history of army. Eren’s rather focused in strategies, weapons and semiotics involved in military speech.

First started with books about great wars in modern era. The use of certain weapons took him by surprise due the technological development.

Then he took classes about discourse analysis, semiotics and such, and felt inspired by the discourse reflected in emblems, uniforms, flags, etc.

Eren doesn’t really have a preference between occidental or oriental, North or South, Modern or Ancient settings. He would simply devour all the books that deal with military strategy and warlike conflicts. Although he has more experience and information about great wars in modern era.

He’s fascinated with the inexhaustible human desire of freedom and the extent that it can reach. This fascination might not be very healthy, he concludes.

Also, finds a cruel beauty in violence when showed in freedom and ideals are protected over one’s own life. But he won’t tell his classmates or professors. He knows is a controversial opinion for he’s still aware the implications of massive conflicts and the abuse of power.

One thing led to another, Eren is now taking classes and reading about philosophy in war and anthropological perspectives about violence through time.

He’s so into social movements besides his main interest in college: “No one’s really free until all humanity is”, that’s his life motto pretty much.

Due his readings and researches he decided it was important to develop a political stance about the world’s problems. Eren strongly believes all lives worth the same, but systems and nations had imposed over others and vulnerated other human's lives.

Yes, Eren is anti-capitalist and anti-imperialist.

Mikasa Ackerman

Asian Studies Major / History Minor.

She thinks by studying these degrees, she pays honor to her heritage. Specially to her mother. Her family is the proudest for Mikasa is also the best student in her whole generation.

Mikasa received a scholarship thanks to Azumabito family, who are co-founders of an academic institution dedicated to Asian historical and cultural research. She might as well start working when she graduates.

Although she’s passionate about Japan’s history, she has written a few articles and essays about Asian Studies themselves and the importance of preserving but also divulging by means of art and sciences.

In her essays and research work, she likes to employ tools from many disciplines since she strongly believes all humanities and social sciences serve the very same purpose at scrutinize the social reality all the same. Might as well use demographics, ethnology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology, archeology, and so on. For it proves to bring light into questions that history by itself could answer unsatisfactorily (in Mikasa’s opinion).

Even her professors wonder how she manages to organize that much information and pull it off successfully. She might as well be more brilliant than a few PhD’s students.

Armin Arlert

Prehistoric studies / Archeology

He’s so into the studies about the prehistoric humans and routes of migration.

Passionate about the ocean and natural wonders since kid, Armin believed his career would be environmentalist or geoscience related.

That was the agreement he had with his grandad since middleschool, until he read Paul Rivet’s “The Origins of the American Man” book and captured him thoroughly. The way the book explained logically the diverse theories about global migration and enlisted the challenges of modern archeology -for there are numerous mysteries- simply devoured his conscience.

He knew from the books he’d read that most evidence of the first settlements are deep under dirt or far away in the ocean whose level has risen over the centuries leaving primitive camps – and answers – unreachable. 

That’s the reason he is so eager to study and give his best to contribute both archeology and history disciplines. Also, he’ll forever love the ocean and nature, just leave him do all the fieldwork, please.

Jean Kirstein

History of industry / Industrial heritage / Historical materialism

Jean first started interested in capitalist industries and production development in first world countries. Kind of rejected other visions and explanations since he’d read about positivism studies.

His interest in such matters started when he was a just boy. He often found himself wondering how things were made and that question captured him ever since. As he grew up, he realized that machines and industrial processes were highly involved in the most mundane objects creation.

Nonetheless, he learnt that not always the best machinery was used, nor the best work conditions were available for mass production. From that moment he’d started to read about the First Industrial Revolution and his mind just took off with questions. Invariably, he learned about labour struggle and the transforming power due workforce.

Between his readings and university classes, he’d knew more about labour movements, unions. And in the theoretical aspect, he'd learned about historical materialism analysis.

One could say that Jean possesses a humanistic vision of the implications in mass production under capitalist system along history and nowadays.

Marco Bodt

Royalty's history / Medieval Studies 

I wanted to keep his canonical fascination to royalty and the best way to do that was including Medieval Studies.

Marco would study since the fall of Roman Empire until the latest gossip of royal families all across Europe.

Might get a bit of Eurocentric with his essays but in real life discussions he’s always open to debates about decolonization. He has even read Frantz Fanon books and possesses a critical thinking about colonial countries and their relations with the so named third world.

Nevertheless, Marco finds a strange beauty in the lives of monarchs and he’s interested in study from their education, hobbies, strategies, relationships, everything.

I’d say that his favorite historical period is probably the establishment of the descendants of the barbarian peoples in the new kingdoms such as the Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Franks, Vandals, Huns, Saxons, Angles and Jutes (holy shit, they're a lot).

Because this would transcend as the beginning of his favorite matter of analysis.

Sasha Braus

History of gastronomy, development of cooking, antropology and archeological studies.

Sasha’s interested in the history that shows human development of food and cooking. She finds wonders when she inquires into cultural aspects from the first farming till modern artistic expressions that would involve food.

Such as gastronomy. But her attention got caught in literature’s food representation too, with its symbols and allegories, also in paintings that belong in still life movement, but also Sasha finds interest when food is used as rhetorical devices (for example: the apple in Adam and Eve’s myth).

She’s curious about primitive systems of irrigation, cultivation, food distribution, adaptation of wild species; as well as the domestication of animals, the diversification of the diet and its link with sedentary life, as well as the subsequent division of labor once the need for food was assured in humanity’ first cities.

Sasha’s convinced that alimentation is the pilar of civilization as we know it. For it involves cultural, artistic, economic, emotion and social aspects. Food is a microcosm of analysis of humanity.

Sasha hasn’t a favorite historical period or setting. But she definitely has a special fascination for first civilizations and their link with alimentation. Also, she likes to study the development gastronomy in occident world around different regions, social classes, and time.

Although, let’s be honest, Sasha would devour (lol, couldn’t help it) ANY book about agriculture, cattle raising, cooking or gastronomy. 

Connie Springer

Micro-history / History of everyday life.

Connie loves his hometown, has a deep respect to his family and traditions. That’s why he finds himself wondering about the most ordinary events that developed in his dear Ragako. 

The book “The Cheese and the Worms” by Carlo Ginzburg changed the way he used to understand history and capture him into meaningful discussions about what he learned was called micro-history.

His favorite quote from that book is: “As with language, culture offers to the individual a horizon of latent possibilities—a flexible and invisible cage in which he can exercise his own conditional liberty.”

Once deep into studying the Italian historians and their works, he decided to give it a try, and ever since he’s mesmerized with the mundane vestiges craftsmen that worked in his village left behind.

Connie’s parents are so proud of him and his achivements, but mostly because he became a passionate academic over human and simple matters, (so down to earth our big baby).

His attitude towards his essays and research works truly shows his great heart and humility. Connie is aware that academic works have no use if they are not meant to teach us about ourselves too and current times.

Empathy and hard work, that’s how one could describe the elements that integrate his recently started academic career.

Historia Reiss

Political History / Statistician

Her father’s family pressured Historia since she was a little girl into studying History just like his dad. For he’s a very famous historian that had made important researches and books about the greatest statesmen of Paradis.

She thought in numerous ways that she could sabotage her career or study any other career without her family’s consent and end with her linage of historians. But she ended up enrolling in tuition and so far, she is trying her best in her studies. Historia swears this is the right path for her.

But don’t let the appearances fool you, even thought she studies her father’s career and the very same branch of history’s discipline, she has her own critical sense and she’s so talented on her own, very meticulous with her research papers.

Definitely wants a PhD about women, power and politics. We stand a Gender Studies Queen.

Her complementary disciplines are Political Sciences. Historia also has a talent for philosophy and owns a diary with all her thoughts about them. She hopes one day she would write a book or a manifesto about an innovative methodology for research and teaching History of Politic Thinking.

Ymir 

Religion’s History / Theology

Just like Historia, Ymir was pressured into studying History. And if she’s totally honest, she still has some doubts about it. Even if she couldn’t imagine herself studying anything else.

Anyways, Ymir thought that she could build her career around topics that she enjoys. So, she finally chose theology for unusual reasons.

Her classmates had grown up in religious families or had experience studying the doctrines they practiced. But she, being an agnostic, found satisfaction in unraveling belief systems in different cultures and time periods.

Albeit she studies in Paradis’ University, she currently has the opportunity of taking an academic exchange at Marley’s University. This only made Ymir more conflicted about her future, for she wants to stay (near Historia) but she’s aware that Marley would offer her more academic opportunities for her specialization.

Nowadays she’s working in some collaborative research paper with some people from Mythological Studies from the Literature department. She’s nailing it, writing some historical studies about titans in Greek mythology and its impact in shaping neoclassical poetry. Her brains ugh, love her.

Reiner Braun

Official History / Biographies of heroes and great wars.

His mother convinced him with numerous books about great national heroes, but mostly because she knew that would mean sure job to her son. All political administration in every level requires of an official chronicler. 

When he started his college courses, Reiner felt motivated and he was actually convinced that he had the vocation. But the more he read the less sure he felt that the academic world was for him. He wondered if he made the right choice. If he did it for him or for his mother.

Stories and myths about heroes have always cheered him up. That gave him purpose and consoled him when feeling down. Or at least it was like that when younger. Reiner truly didn’t feel like himself when regretting his choices, but he couldn’t help it for he was changing in more than a way.

That’s why he decided to experiment with other disciplines and with time he would find joy in historical novels. He would analyze them just as good as a litterateur and research about historical context in the written story AND study the artwork’s context itself.

His favorites theorical books are: “Historical Text as Literary Artifact” by Hayden White and Michel de Certeau’ “The Writing of History”.·        

Heroes stories would always accompany him, just differently now.

Bertolt Hoover

History of mentalities / Les Annales

Intimate relationships, basic habits and attitudes. / Culture

Bertie has always been a much reticent and shy guy. As he grew up, he consolidated his sullen personality, but maintained a friendly attitude towards anyone who needed him. That’s why he thought that the priority in his studies was to be at the service of his classmates.

So, although he was passionate about research and was a fan of the French Les Annales current, he considered his mission to be in the Archive. As a cataloger, organizer and curator of ancient documents.

But the ways of History are always mysterious, and Doctor Magath showed him that other way of being was possible. Before Bertolt picked his specialty, he met Theo Magath, a professor who recently had finished writing a book: “The Idea of Death in Liberio’s Ghetto in Marley During its War Against Eldia (Paradis)” (long-ass titles are historians specialty btw). After Magath ended his book’ presentation, Bertolt reached him. They talked for hours and finally, he felt inspired into pursuing his true passion. Magath gifted him “The Historian’s Craft” by Marc Bloch as a way to reminding him his way.

By the time Bertolt took History of Mentalities as optional class, he already had some basic notions about Les Annales, Lucien Febvre, Marc Bloch, Fernand Braudel, Jacques Le Goff and such. 

Being the gentle giant he is, Bertolt finds joy in reading about different lifestyles in diverse cultures. He constantly wonders about the origin of social constructs and the way they shape thinking as much as identity.

This boy is a wonder, he might not be the best in oral presentations or  extracurricular activities but sure as hell he’ll graduate with honors.

Annie Leonhart

Oral history, about institutions. Particularly, police and justice system in early XXs.

Albeit she got into the same University than Bertolt and Reiner, even shared classes and hopes, Annie regularly felt disconnected from her studies. With time she realized it wasn't due her career itself but rather because of the currents that her professors had suggested her taking. Until now.

Talking with Hitch and Marlow about their doubts concerning subjects and departments it came up the topics of history and present time but also oral history. She’d never heard something like that before. So, that very same week, Annie started searching for information about that.

She ended up with more questions: is it all of this just academic journalism? Or maybe sociology? When we can talk about regular history and when it starts being present time? If she introduces interviews due oral history, then that makes it an interdisciplinary work? Which are the best systems for analyzing data? Definitely, she’ll need help from anthropology and sociology departments if she wants to keep going. 

Contrary to her initial prognostic, philosophy and history of historic writing became her new allies, and the text “Le temps présent et l'historiographie contemporaine” (Present Time and Contemporary Historiography) by Bédarida among others, provided Annie another perspective. 

Regarding her favorite topics, she wouldn’t say that she selected them freely. They were just practical preferences. For institutions own extensive archives and numerous functionaries. One way or another, she ended up tangled in judicial system and police issues.

With new tools and object for studying, one could find Annie having a blast as detective too. Even if her academic essays focus on institutions’ history and configuration, she’s also working in corruption and more. She doesn’t do it because she believes it’s the right thing, but besides, the thrill of the tea is spicy. Although she won’t admit it. 

[holisticpassport]

Why Paris Means So Much More

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Mostly because I got so tired of the constant noise on the internet from everyone screaming ‘look at me, my life is worthy of attention’. I guess I got to the point where I learnt to stop telling everyone how great my life was and just started letting my life speak for itself. I still post photos, but my engagement and care about the social media world has dwindled. But I also realised something else.

  I used to write for other people—for my friends and family to know what was going on in my life. But my focus shifted to knowing that the people who cared the most were already aware  of my movements and checked in consistently. I write in a journal several times a week. The sanctity of privacy has become more valuable.

Having said that, I miss posting diary style posts. The good old days of Tumblr and Blogspot where SEO and affiliate marketing weren’t the goal. When sharing because my heart felt moved to was the point. When I wrote in my authentic voice and didn’t produce content to fit ‘my brand’s voice’.

  I went back home to California and Ohio this year. I hadn’t been back since I got married in 2017, and I had left a whole life in boxes in my mom’s garage. I’ve kept journals a majority of life, as young as eight years old.

  And when I had the opportunity to dive into those boxes, I knew I had very much put away my past and forgotten the little girl who’s dream in life was to be a writer. What constitutes being a writer? Simple: someone who writes.

  If we based it on monetary value/getting paid for what you do, people like Emily Dickenson wouldn’t be classified as a writer, and what a shame that would be. She knew who she was, what she loved, and she did it regardless of whether it brought her money or fame.

  I believe reading diaries to be one of the most incredibly insightful forms of literature, the most famous probably being Anne Frank’s. We dive into the mind of the human experience. A tiny book contains the universe manifested on paper. They capture not only an individuals’ emotions and personal perspective/experience, but depicts history through a lens that only one singular person can convey.

  As an (non professional) anthropologist, it was the most fascinating study to review my own mind and life, my growth and my history as I opened those boxes and pulled out scrap papers, notebooks, lists upon lists, lyrics, essays from high school and college on studying the thing I loved the most: literature.

I discovered a life plan list I had made at 15 (several lists in fact), and all of them included becoming a writer. Truthfully, I had shunned this dream after hearing a boyfriend’s family harshly criticize their cousin for choosing to study English in college, having the same dream as me. I felt shame and embarrassment at having obtained my AA in comparative literature and having nothing to show for in terms of a profession. 

And I wasn’t interested in doing copywriting or hustling to make money from a personal blog documenting my travels. It may not have given me a profession, but at the age of 30 I know what value that degree has given me.

  I was hit with nostalgia and remorse for ever forgetting this passion and this version of myself. Also on my life plan list (and every list I have ever made up to this day) has included one major dream: to spend two-three months in Paris studying the language, art, and having an apartment near the Eiffel Tower WITH A CAT.

  I have had this vision as long as I can remember. My mom got me Eiffel Tower posters, a house warming gift of an Eiffel Tower wine rack, and Parisian charms on a necklace. I took French in high school even though I lived in southern California and definitely sometimes regret not taking Spanish.

  And most recently I’ve discovered, out of everywhere in the world, I have the least amount of French DNA in my body. I am more African than I am French. So why this insane drive and love of francophone culture?

  I think on some spiritual level, I knew this vision was supposed to play a key moment in my life, was supposed to be a part of my story and an overarching theme throughout my journal writing for all of these years.

I went to France six years ago just for a week, but I can easily say it was the best week of my life. Booking a one-way ticket to Paris was a catapult to a journey I had no idea was waiting for me and would find me living on the other side of the planet married to a wonderful man.

  But it wasn’t easy getting there.

  I had the opportunity to go do something similar to my vision in Salzburg when I was offered an au pairing position for two girls for nine months. But I was with a partner who didn’t want me to go. I also turned down a full-ride scholarship to college to stay with him. Ultimately I wanted an unconventional life of travel, and his job was central to LA so we parted ways.

  I was offered another opportunity a few years later to au-pair for a little girl in Paris for six months. I was with a partner who didn’t want me to go. My values remained the same where I wanted a life of travel and felt like I was dragging my partner to want the same as we planned to teach in South Korea, but I knew his heart wasn’t in it and he wanted a cosy life. So we parted ways.

  Cam and I started housesitting in July of 2017. We vowed to spend a year doing this and seeing how we liked it. I loved it, but Cam was averse to so much upheaval and wanted stability/no chaos, and given a bit of tumultuous in his 20’s, it was completely valid.  

But, then came Covid. We spent all of Covid in lockdown in Australia not only within the first three years of our marriage but of our relationship. I found myself reeling as we bud heads on the notion of building a home vs. establishing a lifestyle of travel which was even more impossible because of Covid. I was drowning. It felt like my soul was ripping from the inside out as I thought I found myself in another partnership (this time a bit more permanent), where I felt like the bad guy for knowing intrinsically that I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t have the same values of travel as a lifestyle. I questioned my authentic self and thought maybe I was wrong for wanting these things.

When Covid lifted, Cam and I had a powerful aligning moment of saying to each other that if we didn’t leave now, we never would and we would end up resenting each other. So we sold 80% of our belongings, got a storage unit and first went to Mexico this year, then locked in housesits from April all the way through the rest of the year. We unloaded our storage into a five month sit to pair down even more in preparation for being able to housesit more broadly around the country, not just Melbourne.

  And as we’ve established this life, this chaotic but beautiful journey, I still felt sad. I had all but given up on my dream of going to Paris on my own for two months because what husband would be comfortable with their wife being away for that long? I wanted a partner for so long who would travel with me, and it seemed counterproductive to want to still go to Paris, a romantic, city without my husband.

  So I stopped writing it down in my manifestations journal believing it was never meant to be.

And two weeks later, a housesit on my platform popped up in Paris. An apartment in the 15th Arrondissement near the Eiffel Tower... for two months... with a cat.

  I screenshot it and sent it to Cam as a joke and said ‘I want this with every fibre of my being. What an absolute dream’ thinking nothing really of it other than that I was sure 50 people would apply for it immediately and since I wasn’t even in Europe, I’d never get it anyway.

  Cam’s response: Apply. Can’t hurt to try.

  I paused and thought ‘that’s true, I can just send a message and if I get it, figure out the logistics then.’

  After submitting it, I received a response the next day. I was the first to apply and she wanted to Zoom chat. Two days later, whilst on the zoom chat, she confirmed me for the sit while I was on my anniversary weekend away with Cam in Shepparton, where his and my relationship initially began from that first one-way trip to Paris in 2016.

What has ensued over the last month has been an unfathomable level of shock, courage, fear, and finally excitement. My initial reaction was gut wrenching anxiety to the point I almost thought my intuition was telling me I was going to die on the flight, don’t go. Like THAT much of a nauseating feeling.

  When I spoke to my therapist a week later, a flood work of emotions and tears came out. My brain couldn’t comprehend the scale of this. It couldn’t understand that for the first time, me leaving my partner to travel on my own wouldn’t result in a breakup. Even more fear came up about my worth being tied to my productivity and how I was actually terrified to do ‘nothing’, but just be.

  I’ve been a partner to someone since 12 years old. I have never once lived on my own except for one month in Jervis Bay, and it was the most spiritual, creative, growth-filled time of my life. But it was filled with difficult conversations being away from Cam in our first year of marriage/relationship and not knowing how to navigate separation anxiety.

  I’ve had a lot of financial insecurity in my life losing family homes, parents divorcing, and not leaving bad relationships for years because I felt I didn’t have anywhere else to go because I couldn’t afford it on my own. I have always had to be in survival mode since 15 years old, and it’s taken a massive toll on my health. So to go to Paris and not HAVE to work—to recognize that this didn’t happen all those times before because it was meant to happen at a time in my life when I could financially do it with the unending support of my partner who encouraged me to go—I’m forced to ask the questions:

who am I when my worth isn’t tied to my productivity? Who am I when I’m not in fight or flight mode? Who am I on my own, without a partner to factor in to my every choice and decision on a day to day basis?

  My therapist has made me see that I haven’t allowed myself to truly ‘play’ in many, many years. To sit in a park by myself and read with nowhere else to be and nothing/no one to pull me away. To ask ‘little Veronica’ what she would like to do and is she getting everything she needs. To re-parent myself and tell her she’s safe to play, not to worry about money or work or housing or a partner.

My tax refund covered my flight for the exact amount. I sold my camera, and Cam and I worked nearly seven days a week the last month to fund my trip with ample wiggle room. If I was single, I’m sure at some point I could have saved enough on my own to go to Paris. But knowing that my partner fully supports me—after so many times putting my dream on hold for men who wouldn’t do the same for me—I’m so insanely grateful.

  And our communication has gone from strength to strength with honesty, recognizing triggers and approaching with curiosity instead of defensiveness, holding space for all the emotions that came up for both of us in me taking this trip, discussing fears at length... all I can say is holy shit, don’t ever settle for a boy, get yourself a man.

  When I’ve told people over the last month that I’m going to Paris, they’re reaction is of course jealously and they say, “oh so you’re just going on holiday”. But it’s sooooo much more than that. There’s so much history behind it... my history. And I plan to write about this experience so that if someday my diaries are ever published long after I’m gone, maybe it’ll inspire someone. That’s all I ever aim to do in this life, is just inspire people to go after every single dream they have an never compromise on your authenticity and truth.

  To tick off this trip will be to complete a bucket list I made 22 years ago. And in doing so, it revives and allows that version of me to integrate into the woman and person I am becoming—with new goals and dreams to achieve that I am already creating with my partner. This season of life is nothing short of profound bliss.

[malereader-inserts]

Mask of Timidness

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries  Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Male!Reader Summary: You hide behind a mask that Elijah wants to see the real you Word Count:  1,196 Request: @marc-isthename​ “ Also like, lowkey, i wanna request a kinda shy(?) reader keeps distance with Elijah to avoid being rejected but He notices it and stuff happens. This is a request that fully and completely depends on whether you want to or not cuz that’s what I can think of at the top of my head “

It’s not you were deathly afraid of Elijah because he was a vampire and you were merely just a human being. 

You were deathly afraid of Elijah due to rejection.

Of course, you were naturally, at heart, a shy person. So, it really goes against your nature to act upon something that takes a lot of mental preparation. You prefer to be a background character, really. You couldn’t handle being the main character, sometimes, not even in your own story. If any of the Mikaelson ask Caroline, Bonnie or even one of the Salvatore brothers about you; they usually say something along the lines of:

“Oh, he’s just shy, that’s who he is.”

“(Y/n)? Shy, little, harmless (Y/n)? Just leave him be, that’s how he likes it.”

Elijah had noticed that you weren’t afraid of him or his family due to their vampirism. In fact, surpassing the getting to know stage, you were very comfortable around Klaus and Rebekah. Even, Kol, which Elijah had heard you were the most intimidated by him as well. So, Elijah doesn’t get why you’re avoiding him.

Elijah enters Mystic Grills, next thing you’re leaving because you have things to do. You’re in the Salvatore house and the Mikaelsons enters, Elijah has never seen a human move with such pace. He wonders what he has done because it’s obviously him at fault. After all, you’re not like this with his other siblings, you’re not like this with your friends who are also vampires, even Bonnie who has proven time after time that she can be a terrifying witch.

You weren’t afraid of danger, Elijah had concluded, but afraid of him.

He wanted to talk to you, without terrifying you deeply. But, there wasn’t a way to get you alone and talk to you without it seem like he was going to murder you. Elijah found his opportunity when he had found you studying at the Grill, you were by yourself - not even Matt was on shift to save you. You seem to be engrossed in what you were doing.

Elijah approached you, knocking on your table causing you to look up. Your eyes widen, you almost froze on the spot but Elijah’s warm smile melted the ice that was beginning to freeze you.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked, motioning towards the empty seat in front of you.

You shook your head, “By all means...”

You had no way in escaping without being rude, and you didn’t want to come off as rude. He sat in front of you, his smile trying to calm you down - but you know he can hear your heart racing as you looked back to your laptop screen, hoping he’ll just get up and leave.

“What are you working on?”

“Oh,” you mumbled, timid, “Just work for college, that’s all.”

You shrugged it off as if it was no big deal, that was a thing that Elijah liked about you - the shy boy of Mystic Falls. It was the fact that despite you being terrified of messing up just the simplest things and rather keep to yourself - you have a personality not many people get to see.

After the layers of shyness, Elijah is welcomed to see a boy who was very intelligent and very passionate in his works, his learning, his hobbies. There’s a fire in your eyes and tornado in your heart, begging for a destruction of art. It’s why Klaus likes you a lot, you can understand art, you understand the beauty of things. It’s Elijah loves you a lot, because whilst his brother focused on the beauty of the bigger picture, you, on the other hand, was satisfied in seeing the beauty of the simple things. 

“I often forget that you’re older than Elena and such,” Elijah nodded, listening to you, watching you tense up.

“Not that much older, just a year,” You replied, you cleared your throat and sat up straight. 

“May I ask, what do you major?” Elijah asked, his head tilting to the side. 

“Classics, I’ve always favoured the mythology - lets me escape the reality we face,” You replied, a small smile on your face appeared, “Plus, I get to learn about the arts and literature of Greeks and Romans - What’s not to love about it?”

Elijah beams further as you spoke, you realised you were about to ramble as you felt a blush within your cheeks, sinking into your seat. Hoping maybe if you sink enough, Elijah will stop talking to you.

“(Y/n)?” He says, slowly and there was a calming tone within the way he had spoken your name, “I am...”

There are a dozen words you could describe. Handsome, caring, compassionate, drop dread gorgeous, intelligent, but the word he had said took you back.

“...scary?” Elijah finished, he had never seen someone shoot up in the seat so quickly before, “I was just thinking since you have always seemed to avoid me.”

“No!” You exclaimed, “No, of course not, in fact - as much as you are an original vampire who shall be feared, you are the least of the family that scares me.”

“Then why do you avoid me?” Elijah finally came asking.

You should have known this question was coming, you had spent a week before fantasying about your life with Elijah if you have any courage to ask him out then another week, hiding away and avoiding Elijah at all cost to save you the lasting embarrassment when he inevitably says no.

“I’m not avoiding you,” way to go (Y/n), nice one in lying straight to a Mikaelsons’ face, “I have no reason to avoid you.”

“Oh, I just simply curious that’s all, as to why my siblings often talk so highly of you when I barely see you,” Elijah commented, “I’d like to know you more, (Y/n), you are simply extraordinary in what you are - I hope you are aware.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Elijah... I’m just me, simple.”

“No, you’re more than that. And I think you’re worth knowing, so please tell me why you have been avoiding me. Have I done something to upset you?”

Your shoulders slump in defeat, “I like you, Elijah-”

“And I like you as well.”

“No, I mean, in child’s terms. Like like you, Elijah.”

“Oh-” Elijah had not realised that escaped his mouth as you looked at him with tightly closed lips, looking anywhere but him as you made an attempt into making yourself small, “Well, I also, like like you.”

You snapped your head at him to look at him, Elijah was concerned you were going to give yourself whiplash, “You do?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I? I’ve said it before, you’re simply extraordinary. I see the passion in you, you’re handsome, you’re intelligent. There is a person behind the mask of timidness that I’m dying to know, to love, to cherish. Please allow me to do so...”

“Are you sure?” You asked, in a small voice, “What if you don’t want me anymore?”

“Absolutely not, my dear,” Elijah reassures you, “There’s a fire in you that keeps me warm. It would be a mistake to let that go.”

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 3.6}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.8k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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Unsurprisingly, working with Snape was absolutely demanding and still (or therefore) absolutely delightful. The Sunday evening they had started the slow process of making the potion, Robin had mostly watched Snape working and listened to him explaining what he was doing as he moved along. But over the days and weeks, she was allowed to do more and more herself, and somehow, miraculously, a second chair had found its way to the laboratory by the end of the third week. Being allowed to do more practical work, however, had come at the cost of Snape correcting literally everything Robin was doing for a good amount of time. Whether it was cutting something up, separating something else, or even something as simple as stirring… he always had something to complain about.

Robin loved every second of it dearly, even though she would accidentally sass him sometimes in return to his corrections of whatever she did. There also was no denying that she was learning more than she had ever expected, and even though the times when they actually had to work on the potion were not more frequent than two to three nights a week, she always looked forward to it from the very moment she left the lab in the first place.

Unfortunately the two months came to an end eventually, and Snape summoned her to the lab on a Saturday night in December to bring their work to an end with the very procedure this all had led up to. The restoration of the page. Honestly, Robin didn't know what to expect of it. They still had no idea what was hidden on that page, but she felt honoured that she was allowed to be here for the final revelation nonetheless. He was by no means obliged to keep her around at any point, especially not now, and Robin was well aware of that, which was what had led her to be all the more grateful in return.

"What do you think we will find on that page, professor?" She asked as she sat on her stool, observing how he placed the old book on the table, opening it to the two pages that enclosed the missing one.

"If I knew, we would not have to go through with this entire procedure."

"I know that you don't know… But what is your assumption? What do you think is worth hiding like this?"

"I do not know, Miss Mitchell." He sighed, but then turned to her as he lifted an eyebrow. "What is your assumption then, if you expect me to have one?"

"Well… I've actually spent quite some time thinking about this." She smiled to herself for a moment. Truth be told, she had been thinking about little else over the course of the last two months. "Seeing as this page is probably from the Renaissance, it would be something THEY deemed worth hiding. So I asked myself: What was worth hiding in the 15th and 16th century? The answer would be: basically the same as today. Sex and power, the driving forces of mankind since the very beginning. Now, I honestly doubt, or rather I want to doubt, that this entire spell is about sex, so I'm staying with power. The means to power are control and protection, which leaves us basically with weapons and security. Now back to the Renaissance: as far as I remember and as far as the library here allows me to research, most of the European countries weren't actually counties but basically a rag rug of principalities and such. That again leads me to believe that wars, especially of the magic kind, weren't actually fought on a scale large enough that would bring forth a weapon strong enough to be worth hiding like this. That leaves us with security, and thus protection. Which is, to finish this off, what I believe this page is about. A protection spell."

Mildly amused and badly hiding it, Snape raised an eyebrow at her once again. "You seem fairly confident in your thesis."

"If I wasn't confident in it, it would hardly be a thesis worth upholding." Robin smirked. "I would even bet my non-existent birthday presents on it."

"If they are non-existent, that statement hardly counts for anything, does it?"

Now Robin had to laugh out loud indeed. "True, unfortunately. But I'm still fairly certain about my thesis."

"Then we shall see if you are correct." Snape mused and finally moved on to follow the instructions in Robin's literature spell book. First, one had to make the potion. They'd done that already, at least. Then the potion would have to be drizzled over the part of the spine on the inside of the book where the page was missing. Snape allowed Robin to do this step, and it admittedly was an easy task, but she was only too happy to get to do something in this procedure at all. Next, the actual spell had to be spoken, which Robin gladly left for her professor to do, as she honestly didn't even know how to pronounce the words she'd read on the page. After that was done, the instructions merely said to wait, and then they would be done. So that's what they did, merely sitting on their stools and staring at the book while waiting for something to happen.

"Do you think it worked?" Robin asked after five minutes of silence, when still absolutely nothing had happened

"Yes."

"I honestly can't believe it was this easy after freaking two months of making that potion."

"Luckily efficiency not always correlates to effort."

"I hope you know that I'm very grateful that I got to help you in this, sir, no matter how difficult or easy it is. I've learned so much, and I truly believe that I've never felt so filled with… passion, and joy, and curiosity, in anything ever before."

"I know." It was a simple statement, but Robin understood what he meant to express. He wouldn't have made an effort to teach her any of the things she'd learned if he didn't know she appreciated it.

"Good." She returned with a smile, then looked at the book once more only to jump in her seat. "Bloody hell! It's glowing! It's actually working!"

Snape rolled his eyes, but still had to suppress the not-smirk at the same time, which was only a partial success, seeing as Robin still noticed it. "Of course it's working, Mitchell, get over it."

"Sorry." She bit her lips and tried to contain her sheer excitement, but it honestly was difficult. It was actually working! "It's just… a spell I found, in my book, with a potion we made, restores your book page! How amazing is that!"

"You seem to have had fairly few successes in your life if you get that excited over this one."

"Well, all successes I've ever had were utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Getting good grades, winning minor quarrels, scaring scummy shop owners… It wasn't anything worth mentioning. But this could be something amazing! Something that actually matters!"

"We will see in just a short moment." He mused, then turned towards the book and once the page was entirely restored at last, he went to read it over once, twice, another time…

"And?" Robin asked anxiously, after giving him almost fifteen minutes to read that one single page. Nobody needed that long to read a couple words!

"Shush."

She rolled her eyes, but complied. If the past two months had done anything, they had proven to her that the odd amount of trust she put into Snape was actually justified. And thus she waited another ten minutes until he finally turned to her with a grave expression.

"Is… is it something… bad?" Robin tried again, and her insecure frown met his stoney gaze for a moment until she looked back at the book.

"You should read it." Was all he said, before standing up from his stool and busying himself with whatever he could to obviously distract himself from whatever it was he had just read. To think about it, perhaps.

In an instant Robin's eyes were glued to the book. It was a protection spell indeed! The grin was on her face immediately, and she felt proud to have come to the right conclusion. As she read on, everything became a bit clearer, and yet also a great deal more confusing. It wasn't a spell… it was a potion. After reading it a second time, she looked up from the book and her eyes found her professor's across the room. "Quite frankly, I'm not sure I understand."

"I would be surprised if you did."

"Why?"

"Because I am not certain I understand it either, and I would much prefer if I didn't."

"What?!" Robin frowned at him in honest question. "Why would you hope you don't understand? What exactly is it you believe to understand?"

"You were the one to guess that it was a protection spell. Why don't you tell me what you understand?"

"Alright…" Robin sighed and let her eyes travel over the page once more, before looking back up at Snape. "As far as I got any of this, it's a potion, not a spell."

"Good. Go on."

"Well, it is supposed to protect the person drinking it from the influence of any kind of magic. But not their own, somehow. So… it's like a two-way mirror, kind of. Nobody can magic you, but you can magic everyone else."

"Precisely."

"But…" Robin added reluctantly.

"But?" Snape frowned in return, clearly not having expected her to continue.

"Yeah, but…" Robin frowned as well, as she looked at the page once more. "It seems like this spell will only protect…" She stopped there, feeling like this was probably a really silly thought. If Snape hadn't understood it this way, it was probably wrong anyway.

"Do go on." He encouraged, or rather demanded though.

"It sounds like it only protects half bloods. Or maybe also muggle borns, I'm not sure… but definitely not pure bloods."

In an instant, Snape was by her side and looking at the book as well in an astonishing intensity. "Where did you read that?"

Robin pointed to a paragraph at the bottom of the page. "Here it says 'Only thee who is't hast ventur'd both worlds shalt beest the one who is't dwells in the safety of the beshrew's blessing'. In my opinion that would roughly translate to 'Only you who has ventured both worlds shall be the one who dwells in the safety of the curse's blessing' in modern day language. And seeing as the entire book is a mixture of the muggle and wizarding world, I just thought that those are what's meant with 'both worlds'. The only people who usually know both worlds are muggle borns or half bloods. So… yeah."

Snape read the short paragraph again, then looked up at Robin in sincere astonishment. "I believe you are right, Miss Mitchell."

"Wait, what? Really!?" Robin stared back at him in equal surprise and doubt, eyes wide as they searched for any sign of mock in his own. But he was entirely serious.

"It seems fairly obvious now that you pointed it out, but I must admit… I failed to notice it before." He commented, reading the paragraph yet another time.

Had he just-... No, surely not… but he definitely had admitted that she had found something he hadn't, right? Right?! Robin was too stunned to even give any proper reply, so she simply offered him a happy half smile.

"However I am not certain if this means that pure bloods cannot make the potion, or if it will not affect them, in disregard of the ones who made it." He mused after a few seconds, and Robin finally snapped out of her daze as the words sunk into her brain.

"Them?" She asked before she could stop herself from saying anything at all. "Do you mean… you're not…?"

Immediately he shot her a defensive glare. "That is not even remotely of your concern."

"I'm sorry." Robin replied quickly and while she still felt curious, she also regretted bringing it up. "I really didn't mean to pry, sir."

"Simply forget about it, will you?" He murmured, then turned towards the book once more.

"So… why does it matter if they cannot make it or if they merely cannot use it?" Robin asked for the sole sake of a change of topic.

"You know the answer to that." He replied with a pointedly annoyed expression.

"I do indeed…" Robin whispered to herself, then looked at the book in front of her, and finally to the ingredients on the shelves. She really had screwed this up, hadn't she… It had been truly stupid to ask him something that personal. "Sorry…"

"Don't apologise. You had a crucial part in the project, and this discovery is your merit as well as it is mine. A potion like this has been searched for for centuries, and would any of this become known… It would be revolutionary."

"...would? We're not going to… to tell anyone about it?" Robin asked in surprise, and a mild twist of disappointment. "But… we can try it out at least, right?"

"No." He replied with a quiet solemnity that made Robin's heart sink even further. "This potion is dangerous, more so than you likely realize."

"But how? Why?!" Robin asked in desperate incredulity. "What's wrong with protecting yourself against your enemies? This potion could help so many people…"

In a moment's notice, Snape turned to Robin entirely, not even an arm's length away, and looked down at her with such a seriousness and intensity that she inevitably shuddered. "Nobody can know that this potion exists. Not a single soul but you and me, do you understand that?"

"I do." Robin replied quietly, as she still looked up at him with sad eyes. "But please, at least tell me why."

"Promise me that you will never lose a single word about it to anyone but me. Not the other teachers, not a friend, not even Professor Dumbledore or the Minister of Magic himself." He really seemed to be dead serious about this, and Robin started feeling sick with anxiety again. If he truly wanted her to swear her silence, he had a reason to.

"I promise." She replied in complete seriousness and utmost honesty. "I don't know if it means anything to you, but I promise."

"It does." He replied a little less gravely, and took a step backwards, out of her personal space. "Coming from you, it does."

"Can you… please tell me why this is so dangerous? Please… I just wanted to understand." Robin tried once more after a moment of silence, not even caring if her begging was pathetic, but she needed to know.

"Do you know Oscar Wilde, Miss Mitchell?" He asked completely out of context, or so it seemed, and Robin only looked even more lost.

"Yes, I… I've heard of him."

"I thought so. He supposedly said: 'Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth'." Snape made a small pause, and Robin considered the quote for a moment before he spoke on. "In my eyes, the same principle applies for might. Make someone believe they are invincible, and they will show their true self in their actions. Now, I'm certain you are aware of the propensity of mankind to oppress their oppressors, if given the chance. What do you think would happen to the muggle borns after centuries of being oppressed by the pure bloods, if they gained access to a potion that makes them invincible?"

"Oh…" Robin's face softened from pouting incredulity to actual understanding, but her chest still felt painfully small for her thudding heart. "It-it could lead to some very serious damage in the world, I guess. There's always someone willing to start a revolution… but we mustn't give them an opportunity for that." She finally concluded on her own, nodding to herself as if to help the words sink into her mind and shake out the disappointment.

"Precisely." He confirmed, back to neutrality if not even a subtle touch of calmness. "That is why nobody can know of its existence. Do you understand that now?"

"I do… and I agree, even. I just didn't really consider that something so good could be used for something so bad." She sighed, picking at the buttons of her shirt subconsciously rather than by choice, and looked from Snape down to the book. "What do we… what will you do with it?"

"The very same thing the previous possessor did. Destroy the page, keep the book of nonsense safe." He replied as he sat back down on his own stool, and Robin could feel his eyes on her even though she kept staring at the book to hide her tears.

"So all efforts were for nothing, huh?" Her voice was throaty and thick, and Robin felt like they got stuck in her chest in the first place. She had been so focused on this whole thing, had put so much of her heart into it… and now it would be destroyed, and thus every chance of possibly continuing this out of class work with Snape was over once and for all. That maybe –no, definitely– was even worse than the loss of this remarkable potion that had been lost in the first place anyway.

"Will you stop being so dramatic, now…" He gave right back, feignedly scolding, but it did its job and Robin pulled herself together as he spoke on. "Nothing about this project by any means was in vain, seeing as we both learned a valuable lesson. And wouldn't you say it was our aim to solve a mystery rather than strive for material gain?"

Once again, Robin had to realize that Snape was right. Of course he was... It was ridiculous to be upset over this, she should be happy indeed that they had actually managed to solve the mystery. That she had gotten to help, and that she had gotten to learn so much over the last two months. In this new light, the tears stopped burning in her eyes and she could blink them away before looking up at her professor with an attempted half smile. Better.

"We definitely did solve the mystery." She said, and the smile reached her eyes a moment later. "And I definitely learned a lot from all of this, and from you, professor. It truly was a joy."

"Your understanding of joy is rather curious, if you consider being constantly corrected one."

"I consider potions a joy. And learning." Now she had to smile for real, and the sadness faded from her mind like clearing fog. This wasn't the end.

"That is… acceptable."

Robin had to snort at his choice of words. "It's 'acceptable'? May I ask, what did you learn, sir, if you say we both learned something from it? Is it just the spells and potions or… something else?"

His face went straight back into stony nothingness, and Robin believed she had said the wrong thing again as he got up and walked across the room to fetch an empty bottle, probably to store the remainder of the potion.

"I learned that at least one person in this school full of dunderheads is worth my time and efforts." He finally replied, likely as indifferently as he could manage, but the words were clear enough even without any means to convey them appropriately. Professor Snape deemed Robin worth his teaching. He didn't regret allowing her to help. Maybe he would even let her do it again. Robin's smile widened into a grin before she could help it.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, I believe." She smirked before she could think better of it.

"Who said I was speaking of you?" Came his immediate reply, but now both his tone and expression clearly gave away the obvious tease. Robin found herself enjoying it… those extremely rare moments when he wasn't void of any sentiment, on the outside.

"I beg your forgiveness for being so pridefully assuming." She laughed, and there it was again, the sarcasm she got scolded for more often than not. And still Robin couldn't wipe the smirk off her face.

"Forgiveness granted."

"That was easy…"

"Careful."

"I'm in the potions master's private laboratory… whatever else would I be but careful?" While her tone was still anything but serious, he actually seemed quite pleased with her statement, and that made Robin smile even more. Slowly her cheeks were starting to hurt again… it was odd how she always seemed to go through a wide array of emotions in the shortest time spans whenever she was around Professor Snape. He was irritating, and everything he did was too. That must be it.

While Snape filled the remainder of the potion into the bottle he had just retrieved, and then labeled it and put it away into one of the shelves, Robin looked over the page with the dangerous-protective potion again (she couldn't find a name anywhere and thus that's what her mind had labeled it, for now). Would destroying it really prevent it from being found in the future? Sure, Snape was brilliant, but if a potions professor and a third year student could restore it almost by chance, then who said nobody else would in the future?

"Professor… can I ask you something?" Robin started her attempt to voice just that thought in a way that wouldn't possibly sound like an insult to him.

"You may ask, but there is no guarantee that I will answer."

"So… I was wondering if the spell we used to restore the page in the first place, and with spell I mean potion and spell and the entire thing, if, you know…" Just get the question out, idiot! "Don't you think someone like us will eventually do the same thing we did? I mean restoring the page that you're destroying now. Wouldn't that simply be a delay of things, if the next person finding it isn't as considerate of its dangers?"

He seemed to really consider her words for a moment, which he had done quite often over the last weeks actually, before he looked at Robin when answering. "That is possible, yes."

"So maybe… a repetition of history wouldn't necessarily be the… best idea?" Robin suggested vaguely and already made a face that clearly showed what she expected him to reply with. A scold, namely.

"What would you suggest I do instead?"

Now, she hadn't expected that. But she'd take the opportunity to voice her thoughts a little more in detail. "So this is the point where my logic kind of depends on my very limited knowledge of things, but… I was thinking, if there really isn't another possibility but to restore the page with a spell-potion-whatever thing like we did, then one should consider how the process of restoration works. From what I understand, the spell in my book refers to the destruction of the page itself which is, kind of, reverted by the procedure we just did as well. Seeing as you said two months ago that all the book restoration spells you tried didn't work in this case, that would –with a bit of corners and loops– mean, in the end, that the page needs to be destroyed first to be restored in the book. If it's not destroyed, while it simply being taken out of the book wouldn't qualify as destroying it I believe, one couldn't restore the page with the book alone."

"So?"

"So… You could take the page out of the book, but NOT destroy it. Because if the only means to getting the page back into the book is a restoration spell or potion, which in return only works if the page was destroyed in the first place, then nobody will be able to get their hands on the page if they have the book." Robin suddenly wasn't so sure about her idea anymore… what if he deemed it stupid? But she'd already voiced too many dumb thoughts around him to let that stop her now. "That of course would still leave open the possibility for the page itself to be found, when it's not destroyed, especially since it's no longer hidden by the book… However if you find out just what exactly counts as for the page being 'destroyed', you could always do something else to it to make it useless. Something that doesn't count as destroyed, and thus will make a restoration impossible, but will also make the page useless. In the end you will thus have a useless book, and a useless page, and neither can be made to function again."

"Where, pray tell, did you get that idea from in this instant?" He raised an eyebrow at Robin, but otherwise didn't give away what he thought of her suggestion. Idiot…

"I… think. A lot." Robin replied lamely. "I mean, I don't know much, and I can do even less, but I'm fairly decent at thinking… I think."

Snape rolled his eyes at that admittedly silly statement, and Robin tried to force the heat out of her face. For a minute, it was completely silent.

"Your mind truly is an ever-surprising quarry to delve in, Miss Mitchell…" He commented then, with a frown and a curious look at her, and while it wasn't really a compliment, his words still made Robin shiver for some reason. "I will consider your suggestion before making my decision about what is to do with the page and the book."

"Thank you, sir. I'm just glad it wasn't complete nonsense." Robin replied with a nervous chuckle, then scooted herself off her stool and awkwardly took a step towards the door before turning back once more. "Uhm, is there… anything else for me to do tonight?"

"If I'm not mistaken, you have an essay to write for my class." Aaand he was entirely back in professor-mode, scowl, bored indifference and all.

"I finished it last night, sir."

"I assigned it last night, Miss Mitchell."

"Yes, and I wrote and finished it after dinner. Proofread it this morning. Edited it this afternoon. All done now."

"The class really is too easy." Snape sighed dramatically. "Unfortunately, all the other students would fail if I made it any more difficult."

"Don't they fail as it is already?" Robin whispered more to herself than to him, and still received a glare and a not-smirk in return.

"Goodnight, Miss Mitchell." He said after two more seconds of silence, and Robin understood a polite invitation to leave when she heard one.

"Goodnight sir." She gave back before she let herself out, with a smile that didn't leave her face for the rest of the night.

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It was almost a month later when Robin heard about the book, and the dangerous-protective potion again. Just as last year, she had decided to stay in the castle over Christmas break. However this year she actually knew from the start what she would be doing, and Professor Sprout seemed rather delighted about Robin's enthusiasm to help her out again. But one thing did change in comparison to last year. This year, Robin received a Christmas present. Not in the traditional sense, admittedly, but to her it would always be one all the same.

Seeing as she would only get the money from her parents once she would go home in the summer, Robin hadn't exactly expected to be given anything at all. And it surely wasn't given to her the way she would expect either. While usually the students who stayed here over the holidays received their presents in the common room upon Christmas morning, this is not how Robin came to hers.

Christmas arrived in a whirlwind of snow and cold, just like last year, and it also went that way again. Robin worked in the greenhouse most of the time, but occasionally she would be sent to Hagrid's for a change. She hadn't really had much contact with the man in question before this particular Christmas break, but seeing as Professor Sprout didn't require her assistance every single day, the herbology teacher still was kind enough to refer Robin to the gamekeeper. He wasn't the brightest fellow, admittedly, but good-natured and kind to the bone, and that made Robin like him in an instant. She helped him out with all kinds of things, from taking care of the magical creatures (which she unfortunately knew nothing about since she hadn't taken this particular class) to simple work in the school garden, and admittedly, she did learn a lot from Hagrid, too.

In the evenings Robin would still come to sit in Snape's classroom, alone, for she still couldn't stand to be in the common room even though it had become rather deserted. The overwhelming panic she had felt in the beginning of the term hadn't been back since, but Robin assumed that it was solely due to the fact that she had been avoiding situations that made her panic in the first place at all costs. Christmas came and went this way, without a present, but with a good lot of practical work every day. She actually felt content, with enough decent company throughout the day, and enough time to read by herself at night. The only thing that nagged at her mind from time to time was the absence of a certain potions professor from the classroom or his office in the evenings, but then again, she reasoned that since he still showed up for most meals, he surely was fine. Still, she felt worried about him. A little. An appropriate amount. It was perfectly normal to worry about someone you usually saw every day. Almost. She didn't let his absence stop her from making good use of his classroom every evening though. The first night she didn't spend in there was New Year's.

After her work of the day in the greenhouse was done, she got cleaned up and tidied her part of the room, then wrapped herself in her warmest clothes, and in sweet remembrance of last year headed out into the arcades that surrounded the courtyard at roughly eleven. With a soft smile she sat down in the same arch as last year, crossed her legs underneath her, and started to read her book on the care of magical creatures. Maybe she could convince some people to let her join the class after the holidays, if only she caught up with the class material before then. It's what she'd been trying to do ever since the first day of working for Hagrid, when she had discovered that magical creatures actually were a very much similar subject to herbology when it came to its usefulness for potions.

"Becoming predictable, are we?" Snape's voice called out to her even before he was anywhere to be seen.

"I'd rather say I've been spending surprisingly little time out here this Christmas." Robin replied with a smile, but kept her eyes on the book. At least she hadn't jumped again.

"What are you reading this year?"

"The textbook for the 'care of magical creatures' class. I thought about convincing whoever teaches it currently to let me join the class after the holidays."

"Where does the sudden interest stem from?" His voice had gotten closer now, and Robin believed he had once more taken a seat in the arch next to hers.

"It's surprisingly handy to know a bit about the creatures whose body parts and liquids we use in potion making. Just like it's useful to know herbology." She smiled to herself, eyes still on the book while yet she had stopped trying to read.

"Clever."

"That's what I’d rather hoped."

"Consider it done."

"What exactly?"

"Your inquiry to participate in the class. I will speak to Professor Kettleburn, and he will let you join once term resumes."

"Wha-... Thank you! That's… amazing! Really, thank you so much." Robin's eyes finally lifted off her book and she looked towards the arch next to her, but yet again could see nothing more than stone and ornamentation.

"Yes, well… just do me the favor and make sure you are not ahead of the class right on the first day already." He mumbled in the usual discomfort upon being thanked, and still Robin had to snicker at the comment.

"Then I better stop studying their textbook now and leave the last two chapters for another day." She commented with a grin, and indeed closed her book in her lap only to rest her forearms on it to lean forward just enough to get a glimpse of her professor in the next arch. He looked gnarlier than usual, if one could even say that about someone that young, and Robin seriously wondered what he'd been up to during the holidays. But it wasn't her place to ask.

Thus they merely sat in silence yet again, watching the snow falling slowly and calmly as the minutes ticked by without their notice. Robin did wonder for a moment why Snape was out here with her, but she dismissed the question when she couldn't even tell the reason why she was here herself. Maybe it was the calm, or the solitude. Even if technically it wasn't solitude in the first place, with it being the two of them, but still it was like solitude from all the stupid people. Just two people who understood the silence like a part of themselves. At least that's what Robin thought, and for her it was a good enough theory to stick to.

At last it was the noise coming from Hogsmeade again that made Robin aware of the turn of years, and she smiled to herself as she realized that she had spent another new year's out here with the potions professor. Maybe it was turning out to be an odd little tradition, just like Professor Sprout's –who had told Robin that she always spends new year's sitting in her room's window with a piece of cake, watching the fireworks in the distance– which she had told Robin about the other day. While Robin found the herbology teacher's tradition quite charming, she preferred her own that hopefully would come into existence for real. Just Snape, and silence, and darkness, and Robin. She could very well live with that. Too well, perhaps.

_______________________________

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[girls-love-girls1200]

66. Kim Lip x Reader •Together•

This came longer than expected, hope you enjoy it

Warnings: slight mention of abuse

A locker slammed shut a few feet away, one of the guys from the swim team threw you a flirty look as he passed by, his friends hanging around him like flies, resting your head against the cool metal, you closed your eyes, trying to regain control over your thoughts, you didn’t even hear your best friend approaching until her face was an inch away from yours, dark eyes staring at you inquisitively,

“You look awful y/n jesus, weekends at your dad’s seem to be taking a toll on you.”

Picking up your backpack, you flung it over your shoulder, hitting a freshman in the face in the process, Siyeon broke out in a fit of laughter as she ruffled the poor boy’s hair before shoving him playfully, he didn’t seem to be having so much fun as scurried away without even giving you a chance to apologize, you let out a tired giggle before your eyes met with the disapproving ones of last person you wanted to see at that precise moment. Siyeon stopped in her tracks as she felt you tense up against her, but it was too late, the senior counsellor had already grabbed your arm, your best friend’s grip tightening around your other,

“Y/n, you will not avoid me any longer than you already have.”

You smiled sheepishly at the older woman who had insisted on scheduling sessions every Monday mornings with her, after having found out about your current family issues through a notice that unknowingly to you been passed to all your teachers.

“Listen Yoona, I get it, you’re young and full of passion for your job, you’re ready to help poor teens struggling with how butt ugly they are, but I do not need your help, I’m fine and more than competent to handle my emotions and my struggles on my own thanks, have a great Monday.”

Her pretty face morphed in shock at your words, shrugging her hands of your arm you made a quick b-line, dragging Siyeon behind you.

“Sarcasm and denial are not the way to deal with this y/n!”

“Ah! Lippie thank God you’re here, maybe you can talk some sense into your girlfriend.”

Her hands reached for the sides of your face, lifting it slightly so that she could get a good look at it, she immediately noticed the dark circles under your eyes, you weren’t wearing any makeup, and your lips seemed more chapped than usual, you felt your body tingle under her worried gaze, pulling away from her you glared at Siyeon who only pulled her tongue at you,

“Why? What’s wrong babe?”

She tried to pull you back towards her so that she could look into your eyes but to no avail, you resisted, grabbing onto your best friends’ arm, Jungeun’s eyebrows furrowed with concern,

“Nothing is wrong, Yoona just tried to scold me for hitting a freshman, but I manged to get away from her devil grasp just in time.”

You knew your girlfriend hadn’t bought a single word you said from the second they left your mouth, she was about to reply when by miracle Jiwoo popped up from behind her, not even greeting an of you before diving into the wild account of how her weekend went, her bubbly voice cutting through the tense atmosphere that had been previously forming. You felt Jungeun’s inquisitive stare on you all the way to class, for probably the first time in your life you were relieved of arriving at your algebra lesson, your teachers’ expressionless face welcomed you in the doorway as you scurried inside, thinking about the imminent conversation that was going to happen the next time you’d see your girlfriend.

You knew avoiding confrontation was probably the least rational choice you could make, yet you found yourself sitting alone on one of the restricted balconies on your school’s second floor, with the curtains pulled inside you knew it was impossible to see you, this had become your go to spot whenever you felt like skipping class to be on your own, nobody ever used the language lab in the morning anyways, just making it easy for you to disappear when needed.

The night before had been so chaotic you hadn’t even had a moment to prepare your lunch for today, your stomach grumbling in complaint as you nibbled on some crackers that had been in your backpack since the previous week,

Your phone lit up on your lap, as another one of the girls sent you a message, asking where you were, you were about to turn it off when a message from your best friend arrived,

From Wolfass🐺: I know where you are, I’ve told the girls you had some homework to catch up on, Lippie isn’t buying it and she keeps staring at me as if she wants me dead. I’m terrified.

Your heart swelled with love at the realization the Siyeon would always have your back no matter what, it had been that way ever since you were in your diapers, she never left your side.

To Wolfass🐺: I owe you a thousand, love you so much.

As the bell rung you made the decision on skipping literature, guilt pooling in your stomach as you imagined Jungeun’s face as she walked into the classroom without seeing you in your usual spot next to the window, so that you could look at the birdies when things got boring.

Your phone vibrating dragged you out of your self hate spiral, another missed call from your girlfriend and a new message.

From Wolfass🐺: You know I got you, but I really think you should give Miss Lim a chance, you don’t have to handle this thing on your own babes, and you’re gonna have to talk to Lip at some point, that girl loves you so much she’s on the verge of killing herself from overthinking.

You felt your muscles tense in anxiety at the thought of having to talk to Jungeun about how you were being forced to spend the weekends at your dad’s place, she knew your relationship with him was complicated to say the least, but you were also aware of how much it would pain her to know what you really had to go through.

To Lippie💘: Sorry about today babe, not feeling very well don’t worry tho I won’t miss tonight’s game, I’ll see you there and we can talk after

To Lippie💘: I love you

From Lippie💘: I’m already worried but ok

From Lippie💘: ttyl

She was not happy at all. You cursed at yourself for being so damn stupid, knowing you should have been honest with her from the beginning, and yet, your own denial had stopped you. Not being in the right head space you packed your stuff and left. Your mom was on a day shift today so you knew there would be no one at home to interrogate you on how come you weren’t at school.

The chilly spring air nipped at your cheeks, wrapping your arms around yourself you closed your eyes as Jungeun’s familiar scent enveloped your senses,

“You’re so cheesy y/n, wearing your girlfriend’s team sweater at her first game as team captain. You almost make we want to throw up…”

You shoved Siyeon so hard she almost fell off the bleacher, ignoring her curses you scanned the field anxiously until your gaze fell on a familiar head of chocolate locks, Jungeun was busy tying her hair into a tight ponytail, her eyes scanning the crowd, timed seemed to stop for a second as her nervous gaze met yours, a toothy grin plastered itself onto your features as you waved at her. Her own smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as it usually did, giving you a small nod, she lowered her head back to the ground.

Your body worked faster than your mind, quickly getting on your feet after leaving your soda with Siyeon, you bounced down the crowded bleachers, making your way to the side of the field you pushed your way through the school paper club until you reached the fence that separated you from the team. You didn’t even have to call her, in a second your girlfriend was in front of you, hands resting on the cold metal between you. Your hand reached for her cheek as you smoothly pulled her into you, her lips fit perfectly between yours, a low hum of appreciation swallowed in the kiss. Pulling away as you heard her coach calling all the players to him, you smiled warmly,

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll do great, just as usual.”

Jungeun’s cheeks tinted pink at your words, you caught her red lips in one last loving kiss before turning around, your girlfriend’s eyes never leaving your figure as you made your way back to your seat, warmth spreading through her entire body after the quick interaction. She was ready to win.

The eerie car park was almost empty by the time your girlfriend stepped into it, in a second she had spotted your figure, resting against her car, scrolling through your phone, with the last energies that remained Jungeun sprinted towards, a surprised squeal leaving escaping mouth as she lifted you into her arms.

“Well look if it isn’t miss star player herself.”

An embarrassed groan tumbled out of her lips, running her hand through her soft hair she smiled at you. There were these moments in your relationship in which neither of you had to say a word, and yet you both understood, you knew her smile meant more than she could ever even put into words, yet a shadow of concern still lurked in the corner of her eyes.

“I like seeing you in this sweater, I think it brings me good luck.”

Her long fingers toyed with the strings of your sweatshirt, slowly creeping up until they reached your chin, she pulled your face to meet her own. Again, as her lips danced with yours, you could understand exactly what she wanted to say, her fingers trailing down to your hips, suddenly you found yourself pressed against the cold metal of the car, unsure whether the goose bumps came from that or from your girlfriend’s tongue sliding against your bottom lip, almost as if she was asking for your permission. Your fingers pulled teasingly at the soft baby hairs on the back of her neck, her cold hands finding their way under your shirt eliciting a small hum of appreciation that only seemed to spur her on, her lips detached from your own before leaving a hot trace along your jawline, on your pulse point, teeth nibbled at your sensitive skin as your head tilted back in response.

Jungeun pulled away at light speed as a series of whistles and cat calls echoed through the parking lot, a few of her teammates that had obviously lagged behind could be heard laughing as they made their way to their own vehicles, your girlfriends head burying into your neck, you could only imagine the shade of crimson her cheeks had turned. Chuckling softly you caressed the back of her head before getting into the car, your fingers toyed with the heating panel for a couple of minutes, trying to ignore the unspoken words that hung in the small space, you could feel Jungeun’s eyes on you every few seconds.

“Please keep your eyes on the road, I would like to make it home alive.”

She didn’t even bother clapping back at you with some snarky comment like she usually would, her hand snaking from the gearshift to your thigh, giving a light squeeze, her gaze straight ahead, a nervous sigh fell from your lips as you focused on the trees flying past you.

“My dad won his latest custody appeal.”

You took the complete silence that followed your statement as an invite to carry on,

“Which means, I now have to spend weekends at his place.”

Jungeun slowly nodded her head as she processed the news, you took her eyebrows furrowing as a bad sign,

“Which is, as you know, the last place I ever want to be. But he convinced the judge that he is a brand-new man, three years sober and with an actual job in a garage downtown.”

The older girl seemed to know where this was heading as her fingers intertwined with yours, her thumb rubbing small circles on the back of your hand,

“Only one of those two statements is true, I’m sure you can guess which.”

As you turned into Jungeun’s driveway the car came to a stop, unfastening her seatbelt she turned to face you, her thumb reaching to wipe away a tear you didn’t even know was there.

“Y/n why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Biting at your lip, you couldn’t seem to find a plausible answer to that very easy question, you were scared to look into her sweet eyes as the silence around you became almost suffocating.

“I’m not angry babe, I just wished you would have told me, I’m sure my mom could help us figure something out, y/n you can’t stay at that place if it isn’t safe, please, don’t do this to yourself. If something happened to you I...”

Tears started falling from your eyes as you felt the concern oozing from every pore of her body, not being able to stand seeing you like this, Jungeun pulled her seat back as you took the invitation to climb onto her lap, small sobs rattling through your body, one of her hands started rubbing comforting circles on your back, the other pulling your head even closer to her as she kissed every inch of you she could reach.

“I don’t want you to be scared y/n, I promise we’ll figure this out, together.”

[studiopeachz]

Task Brainstorm & Research

What am I passionate about?

Food

Cultures

Traveling

Music

tattoos/illustrations/designs

art/painting/drawing

Mental health

Self discovering/acceptance/explorations/expressions

What do you wish more people understood?

I wish people understood more about the different forms of self expression through different ways such as art, design, fashion, literature, etc. 

I wish people understood more about human rights, or general personal choices without judgement

What do you feel strongly about?

I feel strongly about self love and acceptance because the factors of accepting ourselves can be hard but can make us flourish, and gives us opportunities to express how we feel 

What makes you feel good?

Art in different forms makes me feel good has it drives my curiosity to learn and dig deeper for meaningful things

Beauty and self acceptance, embracing our imperfections

Wise words/sayings that inspire and impact me and others in a positive way

What makes me unhappy?

As an empathetic person, I feel unhappy for the one who also feels unhappy or any certain unstable emotions.

Making mistakes also make me upset as it is hard to admit our own wrong doings

Stereotypes, because it gives us an invalid label to individuals which do not define us as a whole

I don’t like when people judge you right away without knowing you

If you could fix something, what would it be?

I would want to fix the past mistakes i have done, wishing i could of done better

I would of want to fix the moments that I wish i could of done or fulfilled which leads to present regrets

What would you like to see in the future?

I would like to see everyone in the world to be kinder, and more understanding towards each other as it gives opportunities to get to know individuals truly, without having to judge them right away.

I would also like to see people normalizing natural and imperfect things and different creations of forms of self expression without any judgement, but curiosity instead. 

What would you like to shine a light on?

I would like to raise awareness about the beauty of differences and self expression, even in peculiar artistic ways

What do you see that others don’t see?

As an optimistic person, I like to see the good in everything, therefore I have this willingness to listen and to understand situations, stories, and journeys of others.

I find the most imperfect things to be beautiful. 

Things about Gen Z

https://www.livingfacts.org/en/articles/2020/meet-gen-z 

https://danschawbel.com/blog/39-of-the-most-interesting-facts-about-generation-z/ 

Demographics

Gen Zers are also the most diverse generation. Research by the Center determined that nearly half (48%) of 6- to 21-year-old Gen Zers are racial or ethnic minorities, compared with 39% of Millennials in that age bracket in 2002 and more than double the percentage of early Baby Boomers in 1968.

Attitudes

In many instances, the youngest generation’s views follow Millennials’ social attitudes, and are in stark contrast to the oldest group, the Silent Generation, with Baby Boomers and Gen Xers falling in the middle.

For example, 70% of Gen Zers say government should do more to solve societal problems, rather than leaving it to businesses and individuals. By comparison, 64% of Millennials and only 39% of Silents say government should do more. Similarly, roughly 6 in 10 Gen Zers and Millennials say increasing racial and ethnic diversity is good for society, compared with about 4 in 10 Silents.

Gen Z’s as consumers 

55% of Gen Z would rather buy clothes online and 53% would rather buy books and electronics online. [JWT]

Their favorite items to spend money on are food and drink (36%), going out with friends (32%) and clothes (18%). [Visa]

66% want to own both houses and cars in their lifetimes. [Deep Focus]

Gen Z’s most used tech devices are the smartphone (15.4 hours/week), TV (13.2 hours/week) and a laptop (10.6 hours/week). [Vision Critical]

50% would look on their phone to look for a better price while shopping at a retail store. [Gen HQ]

63% are concerned when it comes to protecting their identity when paying with a debit or credit card online or in a retail store. [Gen HQ]

Gen Z values

76% are concerned about man’s impact on the planet. [JWT]

79% of display symptoms of emotional distress when kept away from their personal electronic devices. [University of Maryland]

90% would be upset if they had to give up their Internet connection while only 51% would give up eating out and 56% would give up downloading music. [JWT]

84% multitask with an Internet-connected device while watching TV. [Forrester Research]

They have more than 10 apps on their smartphone with 10% having more than 40. [Visa]

60% of Gen Zs say “a lot of money” is a sign of success. [Deep Focus]

What are some general Gen Z issues/behaviours/values: 

Social anxiety (mental health)

Racial equality

Gender identity

Self esteem

Political and social issues

Technology/ social media content

Personal beliefs and values in comparison to older generations 

Speaking up/inner voice

Stress response

Optimistic attitude “it is what it is”

Three Campaign Ideas relatable to Gen Z demographic In Aotearoa:

(self expression)

gender identity / fashion & style / art & design / illustration / ink / skin art - tattoos

(self acceptance & confidence)

Body Image & Positivity / cultural roots / growth / well-being / 

(cultural diversity)

Culture / tradition / ethnicity / foundation / 

Research Gen z with self expression, self acceptance, and cultural diversity

WHAT DOES SELF-EXPRESSION REALLY MEAN TO GEN Z?https://www.havaspeople.com/project/what-does-self-expression-really-mean-to-gen-z/ 

We always knew that Gen Z would be distinctive. They are the first true digital natives, and grew up during times of uncertainty (the wake of the last financial crisis and Brexit in the UK). But over the last year the identity of this generation has been further shaped in a profound way as some of their most formative years are taking place against the backdrop of a global pandemic, with the significant interruptions that has wrought to school, university, and early working lives, as well as social connections. Gen Z were on the precipice of progress when COVID hit “pause” on life. And yet many Gen Zers are emerging as resilient, energized, and eager to express themselves and have their voices heard.

Rinsta (real) and Finsta (fake) social media accounts, often to keep certain aspects of their life hidden from family, potential employers, and others outside of their close social circles). Yet – on the whole – they trust the technology brands and platforms themselves.

69% of Gen Z believe that brands should make their stance on social and political issues known publicly. I believe this is what Gen Z mean by brand authenticity. 

showing us that authenticity does not just mean having a clear point of view, but also using your clout as a brand to share and amplify the causes that matter to you. 

showing your own alignment with the purpose and intent of a brand. Gen Z see the brands who they follow, ‘like’, and buy as a personal reflection of them as individuals, which is why they are prepared to pay more for brands that they believe support sustainability. If that’s how profoundly Gen Zers believe the impact of their consumer choices can affect the way they express themselves, it stands to reason that this will cut even deeper with regard to career choices, which is one of the reasons

This seems an important aspect of self-expression. Gen Z share a willingness to discuss issues in an open reflective way, and to seek out different opinions, which is one reason social channels are increasingly viewed as credible sources of news. To give another example, Gen Z are more comfortable talking about mental health issues than previous generations. While this can be attributed in part to the overall rise in awareness and acceptance of mental health issues over the last fifteen years, it is a noticeable shift from previous generations.

https://extremereach.com/blog/for-gen-z-consumption-is-about-self-expression/ “Consumption for this generation is an expression of individual identity.”

“Some people are angry and resentful because they feel like their voice isn’t heard, so clothing is a space where they can be self-governed.”

They’re experiencing brands in every corner of their online life and so these same “brands need to beware this generation’s discernment because they have a bloodhound-like nose for inauthenticity.”

We’ve been more empowered than ever, so why are Gen-Z the least confident generation yet? https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/gen-z-least-confident-generation 

Indeed, statistics show that, instead of a defining feeling of hope among Gen Z, there is a groaning sense of pessimism - of hopelessness. Long running research from University College London, revealed earlier this year that depression levels are two-thirds higher than millennials. The study found 14.8 per cent of 14-year-olds in 2015 said they were depressed, compared to 9 per cent in 2005. While 14.4 per cent of young people said they had self-harmed, compared to 11.8 per cent a decade ago.

“I feel like Gen Z and millennials occupy a really interesting place in politics,” says Nogia, 20 “- we’ve only known austerity, we’ve only know casual work, we’ve only know life long sentences of debt for getting an education and we’re living in an age of populism and hatred in politics.”

So, is this having a detrimental effect on a generation’s mental health and personal confidence? Pretty much.

Youth Engagement Officer at YoungMinds, “Young people today have to navigate a huge range of pressures, from school or university stress, to worries over their career and housing prospects, to the rise of social media, which can make problems like bullying or body image issues more intense than they were in the past.”

Social media is - predictably - a major cause of generational anxiety. Not only is it connecting us to the world’s most depressing news stories, it is also connecting us to a plethora of airbrushed, Facetuned accounts making us feel terrible about ourselves. No wonder confidence is low.

Gen Z demands more diversity and inclusion from brands https://www.campaignlive.com/article/gen-z-demands-diversity-inclusion-brands/1705491 

Gen Zers made clear throughout the study that they want brands to step up their efforts around representation. For example, 76% of Gen Zers said they feel diversity and inclusion is an important topic for brands to address, compared to 72% of millennials, 63% of Gen Xers and 46% of Baby Boomers who felt the same.

“Consumers don't want to see brands making an effort to be inclusive just for means of publicity,” said Jenna Stearns, researcher at quantilope and lead on the report. “They want to see something that's authentic and consistent.”

But brands that resonate most with Gen Z consumers are consistent in their support of social justice. Target, for example, has been vocal around LGBTQIA awareness and Pride month for years, said Steph Rand, senior research consultant at quantilope. 

“These brands are rising to the top because they are sustaining and consistently making [these issues] a priority, either in their communications or around the content they produce,” Rand said.

Responses regarding representation also varied by race, gender and sexual orientation. Individuals responded they feel their gender is more represented in mainstream media (70% male; 66% female) and brand advertising (71% male; 68% female) than their sexual orientation or ethnicity.

In 2021, consumers hope to see more individuals with disabilities represented in advertising and media, as well as more authentic PR backed up by action.

Integrated Awareness Campaign Examples:

Self Expression Campaign example: https://www.lsnglobal.com/youth/article/24865/a-kombucha-campaign-that-celebrates-self-expression 

Los Angeles – Health-Ade Kombucha’s latest campaign targets a new generation of health-conscious drinkers.

The campaign, You Brew You, introduces the brand’s new flavour and packaging concepts, as well celebrating the popularisation of kombucha. Diverging from traditional drinks advertising, it features a series of young models in bright clothing with colourful, neon-lit backdrops.

While kombucha brands tend to communicate in a way that focuses on health, wellness and fitness activities such as yoga, Health-Ade Kombucha is on a mission to change the image of the beverage and target a new generation of digitally-native consumers.

As the younger generation look to the future and consider how drinking impacts their health, they are turning towards soft drinks with additional health benefits. For more, explore the insight section of our macrotrend Anxiety Rebellion.

Self love/acceptance Campaign Example: https://fredandfar.com/blogs/ff-blog/banksy-made-me-do-it-transforming-everyday-ads-into-self-love-campaigns 

This stunt can have multiple meanings, as Banksy often uses his art to comment on such structures as capitalism, power imbalances, and corruption. 

Wrapped up in the Banksy frenzy ourselves, we started questioning art and its subjective worth. What makes art valuable? What qualifies as art? In what way can art be used or manipulated to impact our everyday lives? We live in a world saturated by advertisements, media and marketing targeting and manipulating us to be passive consumers. Thinking about what we are subjected to daily by multimillion dollar companies is eye opening, as is Banksy’s take on copyright laws and advertising.

Banksy urges, “any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It's yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.”

So let’s take back the power. We got the ball rolling by taking some campaigns and slogans you might recognize, and turning them into campaigns for self love and acceptance.

Join us by creating your own better slogan and use the hashtag #banksymademedoit. What we need is more self love in the world. Let’s saturate the world with our mission.

Cultural Diversity Campaign Example: https://www.refuelagency.com/blog/examples-of-brands-who-got-multicultural-marketing-right/ 

Rihanna’s brand, Fenty, is all but synonymous with authentic inclusive marketing, created on the foundation that everyone woman is beautiful and should feel included. In 2017, Fenty Beauty launched 40 shades of foundation, and that has since grown to 50. Chaédria LaBouvier wrote in Allure that Fenty Beauty’s sheer number of foundation colors is “a statement that women of color deserve complex options”. 

Rihanna shared that, “It’s important to me that every woman feel included in this brand.” Once this campaign launched, it had a ripple effect called “The Fenty Effect”, a movement calling for brands to challenge the status quo in advertising.

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @likeaforgottenmemory

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with jupiter as the handle of the bucket. your jupiter is in the 7th house, hence matters regarding relationships and love will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are venus, the moon and neptune. you're a very romantic person who strives for peace and balance, you like equality and you hate injustices and conflicts. you're also very creative and you have artistic interests, you have a strong imagination and you may often get lost in your own thoughts. yet, you could be a bit too emotional or moody.

your dominant sign is libra. you're overall a peaceful person, you try to avoid conflicts if possible, even though sometimes you could have a sharp tongue. you're a romantic person, maybe too much. you hold unrealistic expectations of people, hence you often get disappointed when things don't turn out the way you thought. you're able to see both sides of an argument, and that's both good and bad. in fact, you're very objective, and most probably your opinions are right; yet, it may be annoying for people that are venting to you, as you could constantly point out their mistakes, even though you don't do it out of malice.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in libra, 18° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're naturally likeable, you have a particular charm to you that makes everyone drool over you. you're very nice and outgoing, you always try to make others feel at ease. you're very considerate of others' feelings. you strive for fairness and justice, it's the way you approach others and the world. basically, you treat others like they treat you: if they're kind with you, you'll be very sweet. otherwise, you'll turn very sarcastic and harsh, almost cold at a certain point. this can make you seem quite aggressive, especially with your impulsive sagittarius moon. you're very opinionated, you always feel the need to express your thoughts as you're very proud of them. in addition, since you always decide whether something is right or not, you may come off as a know-it-all. on the other hand, you're very sociable and you enjoy being in company, doesn't matter whether you're with your family, friends, lover etc. you may get to know many people throughout your life, but your friendships may not be much stable. you are surrounded by people, but you could feel lonely particularly often. I also need to point out that libra is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty. you're most likely very attractive and magnetic. even if not necessarily conventionally, people find themselves attracted to you. you may have sparkling doe eyes, with also full lips and a defined cupid's bow. your face is more on the longer side, perhaps you have an heart-shaped face, with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. you may also have naturally amazing, fluffy and flowing hair. your body is also very feminine, with a lot of curves and softness to it. it's very romantic, to sum up. also, your hair is probably naturally beautiful; it could be curly, or at least it's very thick and healthy-looking, even if you don't take much care of it.

libra ascendant opposite aries jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also enhances your libra-sagittarius energy, making you look even more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in libra, 4° / 1st decan ruled by venus

this is the most romantic and kind-hearted libra decan. you are very intuitive, you understand others’ real feelings very easily. you’re very polite and mannered, you have this innate elegance about you that could make people jealous. you may even come off as snob. even though you may look flaky at first, once people get to know you you’re actually very reliable and trust-worthy, as you are a person of strong morals. you may unconsciously manipulate people, but you don’t do it with malice. in fact, you’re probably not even aware of it most of the times. you’re reserved, and you don’t like being the centre of attention, despite craving compliments. nonetheless, you still like getting to know new people; you’re the type to know everyone, but you may struggle to find actual best friends, as your bonds with people are quite undeveloped and superficial. you have a nice sense of humor, and you may rely on sarcasm a lot. you’re also the type that doesn’t like to accept her mistakes. probably, when you were a child you used to scream 'it’s not my fault!’ in every occasion. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant.

🌙 moon in sagittarius, 9° / 1st decan ruled bt jupiter

you're an outgoing and warm person, who always tries to make others feel at ease. I assume you try to be nice to everyone, but you can't help but be a little awkward around people you don't know. with your sagittarius moon, you go with the flow and don't shy away from challenges. they're moments to prove your potential and abilities. you are an extremely open-minded person, you rarely judge a book by its cover. you probably despise racism, homophobia, misogyny etc. with a passion (as you should tbh). you may also be into poetry, philosophy, and just anything that can stimulate both your mind and feelings. in fact, your mind is constantly wandering somewhere else, allowing you to travel with your fantasy. you're also probably attracted to foreign things, like people, music, fashion, languages, movies etc. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. when you get angry, you can actually get quite rude and offensive, even towards authorities. you’re short-tempered, and you despise being told what to do. you’re also a good, loyal friend, and you’re the type to stand up for them and defend them during a fight. you’re friendly, especially with people you feel comfortable with, and you probably love talking. you’re able to put a smile on others’ face just by telling your stories, even though you never truly go in-depth. you're quite optimistic, as you see good in everyone. yet, while this is a good trait that allows you to be more at ease in relationships, you may also be fooled easily due to your blind optimism.

sagittarius moon conjunct sagittarius saturn: you most probably felt misunderstood during your childhood, as if everyone were cold with you. maybe your mother (or anyone in your family/childhood) was emotionally absent or even aggressive, hence you didn't grow up in a completely healthy environment. this issue causes you to question your worth; you may have low self-esteem, especially during your early years. your family may have big expectations of you, and hence you feel the need to meet them, making you even more pressured to be perfect. overall, your personality may resemble that of your parents a lot, even though it may feel challenging for you. you're constantly strict with yourself, challenging yourself to improve. especially with your libra dominance, you always want to be at your best state, physically but also emotionally. you just want to radiate good vibes, even though you may feel limitated to share all of your true self due the moon making this harsh aspect to saturn.

🗣 mercury in libra, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a high voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your sagittarius moon you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you result very persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.

libra mercury opposite aries jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

❤️ venus in libra, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and uranus

you're very romantic, and this placement helps your sagittarius moon being less flaky. you're not looking for a partner, you're looking for a whole disney prince. you do care about looks when choosing a lover, but not necessarily a conventionally beautiful person. they have to appear perfect at your eyes, and this usually depends on the way they treat you. in fact, you despise vulgar, rude people. people that act like that immediately become unattractive to you. you're also very picky, exactly because you're looking for the perfect lover. you're probably the type to cry at movies. you're also quite of a cliche; you're into roses, romantic dinners, sunsets... anything romantic that you hear about in fairytales. the problem with this placement is that you may overestimate the people you frequent, ending up having different expectations from reality. probably, you may idealize people too much; that is, you may create a version of others that only exists in your head. hence, once you get to know someone better, they turn out to be the exact opposite of what you thought. this causes you to be sort of naive when it comes to relationships, so pay extra attention to this problem now that you're aware of it.

☄️ mars in virgo, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, especially considering your heavy libra dominance: pisces is all about imagination, creativity, beauty, romance... if you work too much, you don't have time to travel with your mind, and that's a serious issue for a libra. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.

virgo mars square sagittarius saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in libra. you always try to be kind and friendly with people you don't know; you most likely don’t like conflicts, you prefer avoiding them, even though you may have some troubles with that due to your impulsive and fiery sagittarius moon. you probably care a lot about your appearance, and because of that you could get insecure from time to time. usually, people with libra in their 1st house look for themselves in others, as their chart is basically upside down. you also have your libra mercury in this house; you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive, and you are able to come up with new ideas and solutions quickly. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. your scorpio pluto is also in the 1st house: you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe.

your 2nd house is in scorpio, with also your moon and saturn placed there. this placement can make you seem a bit selfish. in fact, you’re extremely possessive of your possessions, you don’t want to share them with others. there’s a lot of karma around your finances. in fact, if you’re too stingy, it may bite your butt. you need to give in order to receive, so I’d suggest you to share your things more with others. you could share a meal with a friend, for example. you’ll surely get something positive back from it. your finances may not be stable either; they are in constant change, and while this placement can make you earn quite a great amount of money, it can also make you lose everything you have. no inbetweens. the 2nd house is also about self-esteem, your relationship with your appearance. you have contrasting feelings about it; some days, you’re very confident. other days, you hate yourself. you may find flaws in every single picture you take or every pants you try on. it’s a very intense placement, as you may often feel as if you need to change your appearance in order to love yourself. based on other placements in your chart, it could manifest in spending money in a new wardrobe for example, as you feel like changing your style would help you boost your self-confidence. the moon here also gives you materialistic tendencies; you may struggle to show your feelings with words, you tend to show your feelings through material things such as gifts. you're probably the type to say I love you through gestures instead of words, even though your libra dominance just makes you very affectionate in general. saturn here could have given you some troubles with your finances in your early years; perhaps your family used to struggle with money, and as a result you can get quite anxious when spending money, you hate waste. this could also manifest in your sense of self-worth; you could have been quite insecure, especially before your 30s. you may have to work extra hard to achieve wealth and / or self-esteem, but at least you're going to be quite successful and confident.

your 3rd house is in sagittarius, with also your uranus and neptune placed there. this is an amazing placement for a writer! you’re extremely open-minded and philosophical. you’d probably do great at poetry or just literature in general. you’re thirsty for knowledge, you aspire to learn everything you can, you enjoy being smart and educated. you most likely love comedy, and you have an amazing sense of humor yourself, you’re able to light up the room and make everyone burst into laughter even if you don’t mean to. you’re also very intelligent, you’re able to memorize things fast and you’re also a fast-learner. you may be less into gossips than other libras, as you’re very benevolent and considerate of others’ feelings. in addition, you’re able to see the good in everyone, there’s no reason for you to talk behind someone’s back. actually, it’s the opposite. you’re quite impulsive, you say things as they are. uranus and neptune are also sitting in this house: you are extremely creative, you are able to come up with very innovative ideas easily. the downside is that you may sometimes end up sounding a bit like a know-it-all when stating your opinions, as you're very passionate about them.

your 4th house is in capricorn. I can tell that your childhood was quite complex. not necessarily bad, I don't see any kind of trauma, but you probably had to grow up way sooner than other kids. your parents could have been very hard-working and focused on their jobs, possibly wealthy too. they were very responsible and cared a lot about you, they always made sure you had everything you needed, even though they could have been slightly absent from time to time due to their jobs. people with a capricorn ic usually find something missing in their childhood, they had to deal with responsibilities from a young age. it could even be that you started working when you were still a teen, or maybe you had to take care of the house or of your siblings for them. you weren’t much extroverted, you preferred staying in, drawing, playing games etc. it could also be that one of your parents may be absent; they could be divorced, or in the worst case they might have died when you were pretty young.

your 5th house is in aquarius. you’re extremely creative, your ideas are very innovative, and you may have particular hobbies, interests or taste than others. when you’re able to fully express yourself, you gain full security and you start experimenting and inventing new things. you could be the type to start new fashion trends, music styles, art styles… basically, you’re a creative genius. your hobbies may also involve astrology, as well as human studies like psychology, or also anything that has to do with technology. you may be into videogames for example, tv series, social media… they’re your way to spend your free-time and relax. your relationships may also be very unconventional; you could usually date people online, or perhaps you may have the potential to meet someone through dating apps. they’re quite unstable, they may end out of the blue for example. yet, the part of fortune here makes it better; in fact, you’ll be able to achieve the best of your luck through creative outlets. again, if I were in you I’d definitely try writing something! you may also dedicate yourself to fashion, art, music, etc., anything that stimulates your creativity.

your 6th house is in pisces. in your daily life, you hardly ever have a structured schedule. you go with the flow, you take things as they come. you may often have your head in the clouds, you could get distracted easily and you may literally creative oscar-worthy movies in your head instead of doing what you need to do. your job may involve arts, images, possibly even fame. you should definitely use your creative talents for your possible career. also, you could benefit from helping others; you could be a psychologist or therapist of any kind, a nurse… any place where you’re able to help others. again, you could also help others through your art, hence with your lyrics, books, etc. when it comes to diets, workout routines, skincare routines etc. you could lack consistency, even though your libra energy makes you more motivated to take care of your appearance. you may sleep a lot, it’s easy for you to feel tired and stressed even when you’re not over-working yourself.

your 7th house is in aries, with also your jupiter sitting in this house. love is most likely not your priority in life, even though you're very romantic. you need independence, and you’re able to stand up for yourself on your own. you don’t need someone else to help you. for you, love is a want, not a need. you tend to attract partners in your life that are hot-headed, stubborn, assertive and goal-oriented. they strive to be the best at everything they do, they’re extremely competitive and willing to do anything to achieve their goals. basically, you attract very dominant partners, but you don’t want to be dominated or controlled. you may often experience power struggles between you and your partner, which cause you issues in every relationship you get in. at the same time, you wouldn’t stand someone too submissive either, as you still need someone that would mentally stimulate you. they may actually be quite selfish and self-centered, they’ll care more about their own development rather than that of you two as a couple. an aries 7th house indicates that while you’ll have a very active, passionate spouse, you may also experience lots of arguments and discussions in your marriage life, perhaps even physical violence in the worst case. your jupiter here luckily makes things better; while you may often experience power-struggles with your partners, you most likely attract very outgoing and altruistic people as well that could help you feel loved. you may also have tons of people crushing on you, you could have lots of luck with love and even with friendships.

your 8th house is in taurus. you have the most stable, stubborn sign in a house that requires constant change. you probably hate changing your routine and stepping out of your comfort zone. changes are hard for you to accept; you find it hard to change job all of a sudden for example, or even letting go of a toxic friend of yours can be stressful for you. also, you could be quite materialistic and fond of material possessions, causing you to be a bit too stingy, which isn’t good for your karma. another reason that this house contrasts with your 2nd house in scorpio is that you feel like you constantly need to change, but ironically slow taurus makes your changes way slower than usual. sometimes, when they happen, they’re so subtle that you probably can’t even see them or at least notice them at first. this placement may also indicate that you could get an inheritance, especially since your venus isn’t harshly aspected, and you’ll most likely have a peaceful death.

your 9th house is in gemini. gemini in the 9th house cusp usually makes people a bit close-minded, as they are very logical and careful in their approach to the world. you may change your ideas and opinions quite quickly, to the point that you could seem unconsistent. when learning new things, you like exploring different matters and subject, from maths to literature, but you may struggle to focus on only one. as a result, you may lack precision. you're probably a fast-learner and you're very witty and curious, you like learning about anything you can. you probably like studying, not necessarily at school but studying in general, and you may also be skilled at foreign languages. you could also be interested in foreign matters, such as cultures, music, etc.

your 10th house is in cancer. your career needs to be private. that doesn’t mean that you can’t become famous of course, but you prefer being more hidden at job, you may even work from home or from a young age. many celebrities with this placement, in fact, started working when they were still young. also, cancer indicates that your future job will give you the opportunity to express and / or deal with your / others’ feelings and emotions, and considering that the ruler of this house, the moon, is in the 2nd house, I can see you making loads of money thanks to your job. you could become a writer, a singer, an actress, as well as a nurse, a therapist… anything that allows you to express your emotions while also communicating something is suitable for you. you could possibly also choose the same career as your parents, or you may handle the family’s business for example. you could also end up doing the job of your childhood dreams. you feel the need to pursue a meaningful career in your life, you want to feel emotionally connected to it. you don’t only want something that allows you to earn money, you also want to gain wisdom and maturity from a job, and hence you could even be a bit picky in choosing your future career.

your 11th house is in leo, with also your mars placed there. with this placement, you’re probably very popular among your friends, you’re most likely the most talkative or funniest member of your group. you may also attract very popular people yourself in your friendships, perhaps even celebrities. possibly, you could even make friends that allow you to gain recognition and / or popularity, doesn’t matter whether it’s in school, job, etc. you could also have very big dreams for your future, probably regarding your career and finances. you most likely aspire to be wealthy and financially independent, you are very hard-working and possibly even a bit materialistic. mars here makes you attract a lot of people in your life. whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll always be able to have someone by your side, even though you may struggle to create stable bonds. friends come and go, basically. you may attract very fierce, almost violent friends. they’re very energetic, and probably extroverted people who like socializing and enjoying life to the fullest. you're also very hard-working, and you aspire to achieve all of your dreams.

your 12th house is in virgo. this is another placement that indicates that you are an amazing writer! in fact, the 12th house is about secret skills too, and virgo is ruled by mercury, the planet of communication. you do the math. with this placement, though, I feel like you may feel restricted from pursuing your goals, or even a career in the public eye, as you’re quite sensitive to others’ criticism about you. you strive to be perfect all the time, and your libra rising wants to constantly have a nice reputation. a scandal, or even simple haters, would probably be the end of you. you also have venus placed here, meaning that deep down, you actually crave affection from someone else. yet, you may be afraid, or perhaps too shy to approach a possible partner. but remember, the 12th house is also the house of secret talents! in fact, especially with your libra rising, you’re extremely likeable. you shouldn’t be afraid of not being liked back, for example. remember that your love life will get better with time, as you become more mature in that field. the sun is also placed in this house; with this placement, I assume that you may struggle to take action. you may try to avoid conflicts at all costs, to the point that you could actually start victimizing yourself. you could struggle to accomplish your goals, you try to be productive but you may be too shy to be in the spotlight once you achieve your goals.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract aries, aquarius, sagittarius and libra placements. your future spouse will most likely have aquarius and libra traits placements; they’ll be very smart, creative, bold and confident, but also with a warm heart and a hidden insecurity to them. it could be love at first sight, and you may meet them through other people, maybe through your job or through your friends. your children will have strong aquarius, possibly capricorn placements. they’ll be very dreamy, they’ll have big goals for their life, and they’ll also be extremely intelligent and creative as well.

👶🏻 family life

your father is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for himself when he has to, but he may struggle to do that. he’s very smart, caring and empathetic, even though he may be a bit childish at times. he could have cancer placements in his chart, possibly scorpio too. your mother, on the other hand, is a bit more serious and focused on work, but she always made sure you always had what you needed. she was probably the strict parent in the family, but she still has some sweetness and nice humor to her. also, she may have capricorn, aquarius, sagittarius or cancer placements in her chart. if you have siblings, they most likely have sagittarius, aquarius, pisces and / or aries placements in their chart. they could be foreign or skilled at foreign languages, and you may feel very at ease with them. you have an amazing bond with them, you’re able to both relax and have fun together, even though you may discuss often. you could have been very jealous of each other when you were kids, maybe.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse or psychologist for instance. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. you may also become a chief or a boss in your job, since the ruler of your midheaven (career), the moon, is in the sign of scorpio, and hence you will probably work alone, you won't have to depend on others. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independent and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you’re very traditional about your clothes, maybe even basic. you’re the type to have lots of essential clothes in your wardrobe, e.g a white shirt, white t-shirt, jeans etc. you love wearing sophisticated, elegant fits. for example, you may be fond of wide leg jeans, or maybe flare trousers, boatneck sweaters, tiny jewellery… things like that, that are always a must have. you may fancy pastel colors, or even neutral shades like black, white, grey, beige etc. you’re also the type to follow fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were a very spiritual individual. you were close to your higher self, and you probably were able to talk to ghosts, you used to interpret your dreams and you most likely were also interested in astrology and other occult matters. in this lifetime, you need to put your spirituality aside for a while, and focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you can still use spirituality to find out, but your priority is learning your karmic lessons regarding your self-esteem and work. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having an organized schedule, which allows you to balance both your hobbies and work.

🤔 major transits analysis / april 22

the sun is currently transiting in your aries 7th house, exactly conjunct your jupiter. you could be feeling very needy lately, but very optimistic as well. you want to be with people, maybe with your loved ones, you feel like you need a lot of care and attention and as a result you're literally craving human interactions. you may get angry or disappointed easily though, as you could be quite impulsive as well, so beware of that. jupiter, on the other hand, is in your 5th house; you may be lacking discipline in these days, perhaps you tend to procrastinate as you feel quite tired and you have to relax. of course it's ok to take some time for yourself, but remember to be responsible as well; hard work pays off.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.

thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you! -libramc

[solarsmith49]

First Entry

So I figured I should have a preface/background post before I jump into sharing my writing lol, be warned this is kinda sappy but necessary haha.  I’m going to focus on writing for Creatus Annus; I got back into watching Mark’s channel during the initial March lockdowns after being away for a couple years, and from there into Ethan’s channel and Unus Annus.  I relate so much to Ethan in the brutally honest video talking about how he’s felt aimless and drifting the last few years, because that’s exactly how I felt for a long time- I started 2020 unemployed, no money, no direction, with seemingly no passion or drive to really get out and /live/ instead of just existing.  In April I had a breakdown, and I realized I had to get myself and my life together while I still could because it really did seem like the world was burning down (thanks covid!) and if I didn’t do it now then there wouldn’t be another chance.  I was able to mentally get myself together, and I did find another job in May (which has been a godsend).  And at about the same time as I got hired, I found Mark’s vlog talking about his surgeries and the post-op pain medicine screwup that almost killed him.   I closed my laptop and cried after that, because it was exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it, by the right person I needed to hear it from.  Because I realized it described me perfectly, not acting on my potential and (even worse) not feeling the /need/ to do so.  So I took a long look at myself, and this essay below is the first thing I wrote after watching the video, exploring my complete love of space and /why/ it drives me in the way it does.  I think it fits the whole message of Unus Annus, and what we’re trying to do here with Creatus Annus, trying to give our own answers to why our lives and our art matters.  Space colors all of my poems (as you’ll see later haha), as well as the creative tension I have from my religious and spiritual background (I was raised Catholic, and still am to a degree, but my personal beliefs range all over the place and the relationship and dialogue I have with God/the Divine and what it means to Create Things is a major theme with space).  So, here’s my first entry for the project; I’m going to write my general ideas for specifically what I want to do in the ideas thread later, but enjoy the essay - I think you guys will like it.

Even until just a few days ago, I didn’t think I had any life passions, or at least, any passions that mattered.  I have hobbies, sure - gaming, crafting, reading, general learning - but I never thought much of them because I didn’t see how I could use them or even if I should bother trying to make anything of them.  Certainly I didn’t think I had any interest that moved me enough to devote a life’s pursuit ot it - but that was another self life, perhaps the greatest, one born from a mix of complacency, lack of faith in myself, and a fear of really facing what truly honestly drives me and the action that that would demand.  The change that that would demand.  Because I do have a passion, and I love it in a general sense, learning about it and following it casually.  But it's also something I turn to in dark hours, something that resparks me when I’m tired, that keeps me going and holds my faith and sustains me when everything else fails - family, friends, my job prospects, failing health, chaos in the larger world, evil in the larger world, even when my belief in the Church burns down and God as seen through the “Catholic” lens seems distant and irrelevant.  Something that I adore with every fiber of my being and in the core of my very soul.  That something is space: the stars and galaxies and their natural functions and processes, but also in particular the space program and what it says about human nature and our relation to the wider universe and ultimately to God himself.

I believe the human endeavour to get to space and the various space programs throughout the world showcase the pinnacle of what our species can do, the best of humanity in terms of technology and cooperation and curiosity, and one of the most fundamental drives we have as humans - the drive to be remembered.  Every single human being, from the greatest to the worst of us, is the end product of 13.6 billion years of cosmic cycles, stars being formed, exploding, sending out dust that forms new stars.  Every single atom and primal element in our bodies, our carbon, iron, calcium, magnesium, everything was forged in the nuclear fusion reactor in the core of a star, untold eons ago and untold millions of lightyears away.  Probably more than once as the dust clouds combine, are forged, and then scattered by the shockwaves of supernovas across time and space.  Over and over and over again, until 4.6 billion years ago when our Sun grew from dust and the planets grew from the leftovers.  And the Earth - the Earth! - undergoing the same process in microcosm, plates shifting and rock melting and gas expanding and water sifting until the Earth was made solid, and then!  In the process, as a by-product, a side effect!  The right combination of star forged elements and electricity and chemical reactions was struck and gave the collections of dust atoms Life and Breath!  Living, self sustaining action on its own accord, independent of outside forces, movement greater than the stars because it happens on its own!  And THEN - a more focused microcosm of the star forge, as 4.5 billion years of evolution refine Life, uncounted species live and die and refine their genes and physical makeup and brain processes and living interactions with the inert world around them; the decay of their bodies feeding plants which feed animals which lets them reproduce and keep the cycle going, echoing the ancient and unaware supernovas, until at last! 100,000 years ago the human species was fully evolved, and, miraculously, became self aware.

Think about that for a minute.  As wonderful as Life is, we could have been just another species of animal, but for the greatest innovation and combination of stardust the universe has ever seen.  We were cavemen, we knew next to nothing about the stars or the wide earth or about our potential, but for the first time Life had gained the capacity to know.  For the first time in 13.6 billion years, dust atoms had gained the capability to learn their origins and how they were made and ultimately to define why they were made.  So, what is almost the very first thing we do with this capacity of thought as an infant species, newly self aware?  We make art.  We make, preserved by some quirk of fate in a French cave, handprints on a rock wall.  We - living stardust - take inert ochre and pigment and stamp an outline on the wall, and those outlines survive intact for 50,000 years.  In this scribbling of an infant species we can already recognize the drive still present in ourselves - the need to say “we were here once, and our existence mattered”.  Humanity for the first time, living relics of ancient stars, giving voice for the first time to those stars, saying in art and words what stars declared in the mute atoms and elements and light they left behind: “we existed once, and that existence mattered.”

Humanity is the universe made self aware.  And just as galaxies are made of millions of individual stars, so too do we as individuals make up Humanity as a collective.  Every single one of us is the universe learning about and defining itself.  And the impulse behind our earliest achievements of cave art is present in everything throughout our history, our collective achievements, our art, our architecture, literature, science, theology, our empires, our struggles, our failures, our compassion for each other.  It's present in all of us as individuals, for which of us doesn’t want our life, our memory to be remembered when we are gone?  We as a species are capable of such great things, great destruction and great good.  And throughout our entire history as a species, we’ve never stopped looking up at the moon and the stars, admiring them, fascinated by them, studying them, unaware at times of our origin among them but always drawn to their light, their unspoken promise.  Until finally in the 20th century, the culmination of thousands of years of research and science and engineering, the best efforts of the best we humans have to offer - we unlock the sky we’ve dreamed of for so long and we build machines to take us to the Moon.  We build the Saturn V, the Apollo capsules, we push ourselves from the cradle and beyond our ancient limits and we - fragile, living mortals - walk upon the Moon itself.  We leave our handprints, after all this time, in the purest form of star dust we will likely ever physically encounter, the living imprinting its shape into the inert, like a brother finally coming home.

But we don’t stop there.  We build satellites and the Hubble Telescope, the International Space Station and satellites and rovers and probes to pave the way for us, our reunion with the stars.  We take more stardust and primal elements and fashion them in our image, to go to other worlds and scout the cosmos for us.  We name them after the best of ourselves: Pioneer, Perseverance, Curiosity, Sojourner, Spirit, that they may represent us well to the cosmos and whatever it may contain.  We build Voyager 1 and Voyager 2, currently the furthest of our creations from the Earth in the cold vastness of interstellar space, and in Voyager 2 we place the Golden Record.  A disk of pure gold upon which we recorded the sounds and voice of Earth - water running, leaves falling in the wind, ocean waves, volcanoes bursting, birds singing, and us - human voices, human laughter, human crying, greetings in every language, our music, a baby crying, a heart beating.  We took inert stardust and imprinted ourselves, living dust, upon it, and sent it out into interstellar space to be our witness and our message.  That we, the universe living and self ware, see the stars we came from and that we understand; we say through the pinnacle of our innovation and with the same depth of expression as those first handprints, “We, the living dust, give this record back to you and for ourselves, that we existed once, and that it mattered.”  We sent it as a testimony, as an offering, as a prayer, and as a vow: that we aren’t done yet, that as long as Humanity lives we will never be done, and if we do eventually end that there will have been a time, if only briefly, that the stars knew and understood themselves, and that despite or even because of its brevity, it will have mattered.

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Director’s Cut Chapter 6: The Castle

Director’s cut chapter 5

Virgil woke to the sound of knocking on the door. Sitting up, he swept his hair out of his eyes. “Come in.”

Patton’s head peeked in, light from the outside making it seem like he was glowing. “Sorry to wake you, Virgil. I was sent to let you know that it’s half an hour ‘til dinner.”

Virgil nodded. “I’ll be out as soon as I’ve changed.” Patton smiled and shut the door.

He stood from the too different bed, head pounding from the crash of adrenaline as well as the lack of proper sleep from the last few weeks. His eyes were already adjusted to the dark so he had no trouble finding the dresser and the clothes that lay atop it.

He picked up the pile, the fabric different from what he was used to. He dressed quickly, almost falling over as he tried to put the leg coverings on but he managed to do it. The shirt was a soft plaid the color of a purple sunset over the ocean. The pants were a deep blue that made Virgil think of the ocean floor.

A knock sounded at the door again and Patton’s head returned. “Are you ready?”

Virgil nodded, exchanging the dark room for the brightly lit hallway. He turned to Patton, arms out slightly as he spun slowly. “Do I look presentable?”

Patton frowned. “Your hair is a mess.”

Virgil reached up to feel it. “I have no idea what it’s supposed to look like.”

Patton moved back into the room Virgil had vacated and gestured for the mer to follow him. Virgil sat on the side of the bed, curious as to what the manservant was planning. Patton opened the dresser and picked up an object that resembled a sea urchin attached to a stick. He turned around and held it up. “Do you mind if I brush your hair for you?”

Virgil shrugged. “If that is what is presentable.” He has no concept of how social interaction is supposed to be done.

Patton smiled and came to sit behind Virgil. The mer felt fingers tangling with his locks, quickly followed by the urchin like part of the object. It was a strange sensation but not an unpleasant one. Patton was quick and efficient. Soon, his hands stilled and retreated, leaving Virgil’s hair feeling smoother.

Virgil stood, making his way to the looking glass set in the corner of the room. His hair was lying flat against his skin, not wild and flowing like it was in the water. He turned back around to face the manservant, who now stood by the door. “Does it look better?” He had no way of gauging human beauty standards so trusted Patton’s judgement.

Patton smiled. “You look great!” He led the way back down the hallway and to the first floor, moving through other hallways with barely any hesitation, completely at ease in this large building. They quickly made their way to a large dining room that already had the table set.

Patton stepped  off to the side and Virgil noticed that, even though the head of the table remained empty, other seats were filled out with Logan and two other people, a place next to Logan left over for Virgil. He sat, once again curling his legs around a chair leg, not exactly sure what to do with them.

The other adult at the table, who Virgil guessed to be Thomas, caught his eye with a smile. “So, Virgil, was it?”

Virgil nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Logan tells me you were captured by pirates.”

The small child sitting next to him, who could be no older than ten, lit up at the sound of that. “Pirates?! Really?”

Virgil nodded, smiling slightly at the enthusiasm. “Yes, the farthest back my memory currently goes is to waking on the pirate ship and running for my life.”

The child almost stood from his seat but Thomas pushed his shoulder back down gently. “Real pirates? Oh, boy!”

Thomas sighed. “Roman, please just eat your soup.”

Virgil looked down at his place setting to find a round, shallow dish filled with a liquid. To his right was a utensil that seemed to be designed to carry the liquid, the soup. Glancing at the child, he observed how he was scooping the soup into the utensil and bringing it to his mouth, blowing gently on it before eating. Virgil copied him to the best of his ability, having never encountered either soup before.

The table conversation went on, Thomas interrogating Virgil while trying to contain the rambunctious ten year old. Whenever Thomas wasn’t questioning Virgil, Logan was trying to see how bad his amnesia was. That was difficult as Virgil was unsure how similar their societies were or how much Virgil would have to bluff. It seemed that they were similar enough that Virgil was able to at least pass the childhood aspect of the test, failing the rest of the test as he tried to keep up the amnesia façade.

Over the course of the meal, Logan and Virgil’s conversation ventured away from what Virgil remembered and veered toward getting to know each other. Virgil was fascinated by Logan’s enthusiasm for the stars. He spoke of going late at night to gaze at them through his telescope, the tube he only ever used at night.  Logan talked about his ventures into painting, the stand and white rectangle, saying how it helped him calm down after a stressful time.

Virgil really couldn’t talk about his own interests as he wasn’t supposed to remember them. So, he just observed the happy family, the way Logan always spoke nicely to Roman, always on his level of knowledge, not Logan’s. He saw the way Thomas tried to engage Roman in the conversation, even if it meant using smaller words. He smiled, knowing this family was loving and strong. Read: Hyperfixations

Once the meal was over, Roman jumped out of his seat and asked Thomas if he could show Virgil around the castle. Thomas laughed and said it was fine as long as Logan went too, confessing he still had some work to complete or he’d be joining them. Logan agreed and the group was off. Roman tried to narrate what they were seeing and where they were going but quickly got tired. Logan picked him up, settling him on his back, and took up the narration, giving a better explanation of things. Soon, they passed through a hallway that was filled with paintings of people on their way to the library.

“Who are those?” Virgil asked, his eyes lingering on each individual, some looking similar and others completely different. He’d never encountered anything similar but guessed they were like what Logan did with the stand and canvas.

“Ah. Those are the generations of Ackroyd’s that came before us. They are our ancestors and, one day, we will join them.”

Virgil frowned. “Forgive me if I sound stupid, but you surely can’t mean that you actually trap souls in paintings, can you?”

Logan laughed, a melody of sound that traveled the length of the hall. “No, we don’t imprison souls in art. The paintings are simply the likeness of the person. Their painting is done when they come of age but it is not hung until the subject either ascends to the throne or dies.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay. Thanks for the explanation.”

“It’s no trouble.” Logan shifted, settling the now sleeping child into a better position. “Although, I do believe that I should get this bug to bed. If you would wait here a moment, I would be glad to show you more of the castle when I get back.”

Virgil smiled and nodded. Logan walked down the hall and Virgil turned to look at the different paintings. He wandered the corridor, eventually coming to stand in front of the last picture on the wall. He was admiring it for a few minutes, picking out the resemblance in features to Logan and Thomas and, to a lesser degree, Roman.

“That’s my father, the current king.” Logan’s voice said behind Virgil, causing the mer to jump. Inattention and a lack of awareness for his surroundings.

“I didn’t hear you return.” he chuckled, turning slightly, allowing Logan to stand beside him. “You mentioned he was away, do you know where?”

“Yes, he and my younger brother, Orville, are away dealing with a business deal that could secure safe trading routes for centuries to come. While he is gone, Thomas and I are splitting the day to day mundane tasks that Father would normally oversee. One of such tasks is to send a battalion after that pirate ship you mentioned. If all goes well, they will no longer be able to cause anyone else harm.”

Logan’s voice had started out as smooth while speaking of his family but changed to a harder, passionate tone when he brought up the pirates. Turning to look into his eyes, Virgil found a similar passion there that caused him to simultaneously want to look deeper and turn away. He chose the second option, heat rising to his cheeks at the thought of the first.  

Virgil cleared his throat. “Should we continue the tour?”

Logan nodded. “If you wish. I’ll take you to the library but I’m not sure how much longer you should be about, you need your rest for your injuries to heal properly.”

Of course. Because that was the main goal right now. Healing the injuries before getting the crystal and getting back to his blessing. That was what mattered right now. Virgil shook his head almost imperceptibly, needing to do the action to clear it. His hand reached to fidget with the other sleeve as they continued their walk, the silence almost deafening now that Logan wasn’t narrating everything in sight. Anxious stimming.

When they entered the library, Virgil’s  jaw was almost on the floor. He spun in a wide circle, trying to understand that so many books could exist in the world, let alone in one room. If he’d been paying attention to Logan, he would have seen the small smile that crossed his face at Virgil’s wonder.

The walls seemed to go up at least three stories, bookshelves lining each of them and filled with enough pieces of literature of varying sizes to keep Virgil entertained his whole life. He almost wasn’t sure if he would ever see this many books again. His eyes trailed up the cases, marveling at the intricate carvings he’d only seen ruins of. When he got to the top of the room, he found windows at the very top that allowed for light to fill the room while still preserving the books.

“Would you like to take one back to your room for some light reading before bed?” Logan’s voice once again startled him back into paying attention to his surroundings rather than his wandering thoughts. He spun back around to face Logan, mind still going a mile a minute but he was now in the eye of the hurricane instead of the brunt of the storm.

“I don’t think I’d know where to start.” He confessed, a blush dusting his cheeks in embarrassment.

Logan just chuckled and took a few steps forward. “What kind of books interest you?”

Virgil shrugged. “All of them. I’d honestly try to read everything I can get my hands on.”

Logan nodded, moving to the nearest bookshelf. “Well, then how about staring you off on the history of the nation. Would that be agreeable?”

Virgil almost jumped for joy but remembered at the last second that he couldn’t do that in human form in a way that would satisfy the movement he wanted to make. Instead, he simply squealed softly and nodded. ”That would be great.” He’s trying to do the same twirling stim from chapter 2 but is unable to as it involves corkscrewing a tail he doesn't currently possess. This leads to the squeal as a different but no less happy stim.

Logan smiled and handed him a large tome. “This should be enough for now. I suggest getting some sleep now as your wounds will benefit from that.”

Virgil nodded. “That’s a good idea. Are you heading to bed as well?” Part of him wanted to spend more time with Logan, even if it were spent in silence walking down a hall.

Logan shook his head, a regretful smile playing on his lips. “Unfortunately, I still have some work to do. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Then I shall bid you a good night.”

“Do you need me to call someone to escort you back to your room or do you remember the way?” Virgil wondered if that was genuine concern or if Logan was trying to figure out what kind of amnesia Virgil had. Either way, it was sweet.

“Just down the hall, up the stairs, and my room should be the third on the left. I think I’ll be fine but I appreciate the offer.”

Logan nodded and started in the opposite direction, heading to his personal study. Virgil went back to his room, changing into the pajamas he found waiting there and crawled into the too different bed. He read for a bit but soon fell asleep again, the run through the woods finally catching up to him.

He woke to the same tingles in his legs and sides as he had the previous few weeks. He didn’t want to shed scales on the bed, nor did he want to spend the whole night trapped in the bed. So, he quickly scrambled out of it and his pants, unsure how the transition would take fabric being between the legs when they fused back into a tail. He found the door to the bathroom, managing to fill the tub and slipping in just as his tail took shape, his fins sprouting from his sides.

He sighed in contentment, finally in sustained contact with fresh water again. It curled around him, thanking him for the simple act of freeing part of the tank water. He smiled, knowing he would be able to cash in a favor but deciding to save it. He sank deeper into the tub, grateful for it being deep enough that he could almost submerge himself in the water. Feeling comfortable in his own scales for the first time in a few weeks and the sound of the water moving acting as a lullaby, he quickly drifted into a deep, healing sleep.

He woke as the sun came through the window and his tail began to tingle once more, signaling the change. He waited until it changed back to legs, mourning the loss of his fins already. He inspected his injuries and found that the bandages that wound around his legs were still intact. He stood from the tub and drained it before making his way back to the bed, slipping under the covers to drift until woken by someone else.

Director’s cut chapter 7

[purplebass]

James and Cordelia and James and Grace: an analysis

Hi! The other day I wrote a post explaining why, in my opinion, James and Grace are not meant to be together and won’t probably be together (I do wonder if they have supporters? No idea). 

SPOILERS FOR COG2, OF COURSE.

Well, for one, the reason why they may not end up together is that we have a family three that shows that James and Cordelia got married. Of course, like CC said, this may be misleading, but I believe that most of what it says it’s correct.

Two, Cordelia and James are both main characters, while Grace is a secondary character more than a main one. (I think the main main characters are James, Cordelia and Lucie and I guess aside from Cordelia, they are going to be on the covers of the last two books, just like for example on the original TMI covers we had Jace, Clary and Simon on the first three book covers.) Some may argue that a main character can end up with a secondary character, but what would the point be? It’s true that there is conflict between James and Grace and that they give the vibe of the star-crossed lovers who can’t be together because she’s thinking about herself more than she’s thinking about him - if you think about, anything Grace ever did in CoG was for herself. Which isn’t a bad thing, but it just means that in her list of priorities, James is the one she’d most likely sacrifice for her own survival. Either because she doesn’t love him so much as she claims or because she’s sacrificing their love for her own sake. James and Grace are like Pip and Estella (hence the Chain of Gold inspiration and why it’s James’ favorite book). In the end of Great Expectations (SPOILER IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT) Pip ends up loving Estella, but Estella ends up with someone else in the end (the first husband dies while the second is a doctor... Christopher?!). Miss Havisham is clearly Tatiana Blackthorn, lol. In the end, Estella and Pip remain friends, which is what will eventually happen to James and Grace once the bracelet magic is over. Great Expectations ends with a bitter note and there is no Cordelia-alike character for Pip/James, but in CoG2 she is there. And she is the one who will probably mend James’ broken heart. I think I read a post on CC’s tumblr where she said that we’ll see how and if Cordelia can break the silver bracelet spell, since she seems aware that there is something wrong with it. After all, I still believe Cordelia is James’ missing piece. Unlike Grace, not only Cordelia showed to be selfless and loyal even if she could risk to hurt herself (like when she follows James into Belial’s dimension). She also proved that in the end she could lose everything but she wouldn’t want to lose James (and the others, not only him) if she can do something to help them. Which is why she lied that they were together when Tatiana was accusing him.

Three. Grace is a Blackthorn. The Blackthorns have had a difficult relationship with the Herondales and the Lightwoods ever since they killed Benedict. It is an overused cliché to make the guy/girl fall for the guy/girl who is the son/daughter of your declared enemy. Remember when I talked about star-crossed lovers? This also resonates with the Romeo and Juliet idea I wrote above, even if in this case the Herondales and the Lightwoods don’t despise the Blackthorns even if Tatiana treats them like gum under her shoes. But... Jesse is also a Blackthorn. During CoG we saw how he and Lucie got closer despite him being a ghost, which would make him impossible to love, since he is nothing but a shadow (for now). Yet, Lucie probably already fell for him and is determined to find a way to make it come back to life as flesh and blood. If you think about it, James and Jesse are alike: James can turn into a shadow while Jesse is a shadow. And after James met Belial and was dying, he came back to life because of Jesse’s last breath, and this, my friends, is not casual at all. Plus, you can tell Jesse is not like his mother, and out of the two Blackthorns, he is the most likely to end up with a Herondale, which takes Grace out of the question. Why? Because it would be too predictable to make BOTH Lucie and James end up with a Blackthorn, and Lucie’s story with Jesse is much more complicated and attracting as a plot twist than James and Grace’s ever be. 

Four. Besides the Jesse/James parallel, Grace and James’ stories are alike in some ways: they both end up engaged to someone they wouldn’t have chosen in other circumstances. Grace chooses Charles because of his position, James chose Cordelia because of her lie. Charles accepted Grace’s proposal to protect himself, since he wants to keep it secret that he is gay. Cordelia accepted James’ proposal to protect him. They both have something to lose: Grace might lose her freedom, Charles his image, James could be questioned because he met with a Prince of Hell, Cordelia might lose her honor as a woman. While Grace and Charles’ decisions are selfish (they only think about themselves in the end), James and Cordelia’s are selfless (they care more about the other person’s safety and well-being more than theirs). They did it because they wanted to help each other. Cordelia lied to protect James and James lied to protect Cordelia. Unlike CG, James wouldn’t have cared to be questioned (he is someone who faces his actions) nor Cordelia would have cared to be ruined and without a husband (James’ secret was far more important than her reputation). Which could end in tragedy when and if these lies would come out. In Grace and Charles’ case, I can’t imagine Tatiana’s ire against her. And Charles may or may not lose his credibility because after all, it doesn’t seem that many shadowhunters besides his family and friends are willing to accept a gay man as the consul. In James and Cordelia’s case, on the other hand, they may face issues, but it seems that being safe is what counts the most. Which, ultimately, like I said on the post I linked above, could lead us to new twists, like James having to face what happened in Belial’s dimension and Cordelia being proposed to by Matthew so that she’d still be respectable. I can totally see Matthew doing this, since he also likes Cordelia. 

Five. Bodily reactions? Well, I don’t know how to define this point, lol. But let’s just say it’s about physical attraction. James kissed both Cordelia and Grace in this book, and we experienced how he behaved with them. Despite what bracelet!James says at the end of CoG2, that his kiss with Cordelia was all pretense, we know that nobracelet!James told Cordelia that he meant that kiss. Meant. Since we know the bracelet is binding James to feel something for Grace, it makes all of his “affection” (I called it infatuation on the other post) is not genuine. I mean, it’s obvious James likes’ Grace’s appearance because she’s described as a very beautiful girl. But every time they interact or kiss, I felt nothing but coldness, ice. James and Grace’s kisses lacked passion, so to speak. Even when they were alone, they never kissed with the passion of a thousand suns. Even Grace’s appearance recalls the cold. She looks like Elsa from Frozen. OK that every couple has its “temperature”, but man... with Grace, James seemed like a mannequin, which, in literature, isn’t a great sign. A couple that lacks heat is a dead couple. At least to me. I usually don’t like “cold” couples, even though they exist, and usually they are not endgame if one of them is a main character. Trust me. Which brings me to James and Cordelia... let’s start by saying that Cordelia is Grace’s opposite. Everything about her is warmer: her eyes, her skin, her eyes, her heart. Cordelia means “lionheart” from French but also “jewel of the sea” from Welsh. Both meanings apply to Cordelia, which likes to face danger head on and she’s fierce, doesn’t care if her dresses get ruined. James and Cordelia only had one kiss, THE KISS, which ended all other kisses. The way the whispering scene was written, the way that kiss went, basically made James forget about all of his previous kisses (I assume he only kissed Grace before, because of his loyalty to her). It was hot and heavy because James and Cordelia are hot and heavy. Because Cordelia lights James on fire, basically, so much that he isn’t able to control himself like a big fire. I am one of those people who likes fire couples. Basically, most of Cordelia and James intimate scenes happened around fire or a metaphorical heat: when he has scalding fever, Cordelia is the only one who can stay by his bedside and she takes care of him and James thinks about how she didn’t run away when he turned into a shadow. Then when Cordelia risked to drown and James takes Cortana back to her and she’s sitting in front of the fire in the library. And even in the end when James goes to destroy the clockwork thing in Blackthron manor and this starts the fire, when they are about to go out of the building James takes Cordelia in his arms because he thinks her leg still hurts. 

If these aren’t enough evidence, I don’t know what is. I really wish I am not wrong, but of course we’ll know when the books come out. LOL.

I don’t know if you read the whole post, but if you did... thank you!

[ryukoishida]

TGCF/HOB Quiz: Which martial art god are you most similar to?

Want to know which martial art god you are most similar to? Complete the questionnaire and calculate your total points according to the following system:

A - 1 point B - 2 points C - 3 points D - 4 points E - 5 points

Specific range of points will correspond to each of the seven martial god!

*Side note: To celebrate the release of the TGCF donghua, I’ll be posting tid-bits of some writing I was doing for a fashion-themed fanzine that never came to be. I forgot they existed in my GoogleDrive but now that I DO remember, I figure I might as well share the silly fun! 

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Why are you doing this quiz? A. I’m genuinely curious. B. Bored as heck. C. None of your damn business!

If you can choose to excel at one type of weapon, what would it be? A. My fists B. Swords C. Archery D. This is too violent. Can we not resolve problems in a more peaceful manner?

On a day with free time in your hands, what are you most likely to be doing? A. Laze around at home. B. Do chores. C. Hang out with friends. D. Go on a date. E. Catch up on work. There’s never enough time and there’s always so much work.

You have a crush on someone. What is your next step of action? A. Wait. This doki-doki feeling… this is love?! B. Hide your feelings as best as you could. C. Flirt with them. D. Observe that person some more first, before taking further action. E. I don’t have crushes. Romance is for the weak!

You run into two groups of people who are arguing heatedly, you will… A. Walk away. It’s none of your business. B. Get in between them and try to convince both parties to calm down. C. Take the side of the group that you agree with, and join in the argument. D. Instigate from the sidelines until a fight breaks out.

You get rudely cut off while driving on a highway, you will… A. Swear a storm but still drive safely. B. Drive as usual. It’s fine. At least nobody’s hurt. C. Chase that car down and honk at them while rolling the windows down to shout profanities.

What’s the type of fashion you enjoy wearing? A. No one can label my style! I wear what I want! I am my own style! B. Meh. Does it even matter? C. Simple and comfortable. D. Mature and professional. E. Cool and sophisticated.

Your friend is 30 minutes late for an outing, and you haven’t heard a peep from them. Your first reaction is… A. Wait another 15 minutes to see if they’ll show up. B.Text or phone them to lecture them because you’re annoyed. C. Text or phone them because you’re worried. D. Leave without notifying them.

What would you do if someone criticizes your cooking? A. Tch. You just don’t appreciate my ‘special’ talents, that’s all. B. Ask for constructive criticism, and try again. C. Upset by it. Probably won’t try again. D. **** you! I spent a lot of time making these dishes. You better finish them all!

How do you feel about doing chores? A. I won’t do them until it gets filthy enough that I have no choice but to do them. B. It’s a necessity. I’ll do it. C. It gives me a sense of calm and comfort afterwards. D. I-is that a broom I see?! [breaks it in half]

You see someone injured on the side of the road, you will… A. Stop and help them out as best as you can. B. Call emergency and let them handle it. C. Eh, somebody will probably come along and help them. I’m not needed here. D. Walk away without a second glance.

Which of the following best describes you? A. Depends on the situation. B. Follower. C. Leader.

When you meet someone for the first time, you… A. Avoid eye contact at all costs. B. Hope they’ll talk to you first because you’re too awkward. C. Compliment them to make a good first impression. D. Immediately start a conversation with them. It’s always nice to make new friends.

If you are going to pray in a temple, what would you pray for? A. Finding true love. B. World peace. C. Financial success. D. Success in career. E. I only believe in myself!

What is/was your best subject in school? A. Art/Music B. Language/Literature/Humanities C. Math/Sciences D. Physical Education E. How dare you underestimate me!? I’m a straight A student!

You’re running late for an important event, you… A. Eh, they can go on without me. It’s fine. B. Call to let someone know you’ll be late. C. Panick! D. I’m never late. Are you kidding me?

There’s only a three-day-old mantou at home for dinner, you… A. Eat it cold. I’m starving! B. Eat it with some questionable condiments you find in the fridge. C. Heat it up and eat it. D. Give up and go out to buy actual food. E. Give up and call up your friends, hoping they will pay for dinner.

Do you feel insecure? A. Sometimes. B. Always. C. Why should I?

What is the most important thing to you when looking for a romantic partner? A. Loyalty B. Appearance C. Kindness D. Social / financial status

When you catch someone in your class cheating during a test, you… A. Leave it be. B. Privately talk to that classmate about it. Maybe they have a reason for doing it? C. Immediately notify the teacher. It’s just not right!

Which direction do you feel brings you the most luck? A. West B. East C. North D. South E. I don’t care. I make my own luck.

What kind of genre do you enjoy reading? A. Comic books B. Trashy novels C. Hardcore literature D. Magazines E. Newspaper

What’s your favourite colour? A. Purple B. Blue C. Green D. Black E. Red

Which of the following do you enjoy more? A. Spending time by yourself. B. Hanging out with a group of friends. C. You enjoy both equally.

You find out someone has been talking trash about you behind your back, you… A. Confront them face to face. B. Forgive and forget. C. Curse them with a voodoo doll. D. Hide your anger for now, and plan your vengeance at a better time.

Which of the following animals best describe your personality? A. Bird B. Dog C. Butterfly D. Bear E. Lion

How do you want to impact the world? A. Too much responsibility. No thanks. B. Invent something. C. Doing good for society. D. Bringing justice. E. Building an empire.

How quickly will you respond to a text message? A. Immediately. B. You keep thinking you’ll reply later. And then you forget. C. Too busy. You’ll get back to them when you have time.

On your social media, you’ll most likely post… A. I don’t use social media. B. Photos of yourself. C. Memes D. Photos of everything and anything except yourself E. Personal thoughts and opinions

What is your favourite amusement park ride? A. Bumper cars B. Ferris wheel C. Carousel D. Rollercoaster E. Amusement park is for kids. I’m too mature for this.

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RESULTS:

[1] Quan YiZhen (30 to 43) Content to be left alone most of the time and inclined to do things at your own pace, you are most like the young, curly-haired martial god of the west, Quan YiZhen. Though you might be seen as immature and spoiled at first glance, with your occasional bursts of temper, a tendency to stay in your own lane and averse to interacting with others, and a wild streak to your personality, you are also well-liked by friends for your genuine, straightforward attitude, as well as your utter devotion to the people and things that you care deeply about. You keep being your awesome self, but don’t forget to connect with those around you once in awhile too!

[2] Lang QianQiu (44 to 57) With your heart filled with idealistic and noble intents, you are most similar to the martial god of the east, Lang QianQiu. While some may value your honorable virtues as assets and a positive personality trait, others find that your strict and rigid view of the world as only black and white somewhat troubling, too naive, and simplistic. Your reluctance to let go of grudges might be holding you back from growing as a person and amending important relationships. While it’s great to have ideals that drive your life, remember that the world and the people around you are not that clear-cut!

[3] Xie Lian (58 to 72) Kind, gentle, and always put utmost effort into everything you do, you are very much like the prince of Xian Le, Xie Lian. You are very loyal to your loved ones, yet are sometimes seen as dangerously optimistic, as you believe in the best of humanity to the point where people might take advantage of you. With things you’re passionate about, you might be terrible at it, but failures have never stopped you from trying to improve again and again. Keep on pursuing your dreams, but learn to take breaks in between as well; know that you’ll always have the support of your friends and family!

[4] Pei Ming (73 to 86) Charming, gregarious, and unafraid to show your preferences and dislikes, you are very similar to the heroic and capable general, the admired martial god of the north, Pei Ming. You excel at what you do, and you make damn sure everyone knows it. However, your overconfidence and propensity to flirt might also be a few of your major shortcomings. Undeniably, you are at the heart of any good parties, but your occasional insensitivity might unknowingly offend some people. There’s nothing wrong with being confident, but be aware of others’ feelings too!

[5] Feng Xin (87 to 101) Loyal, courteous, polite, and willing to take on responsibilities without any complaints, you are most similar to the martial god of the southeast, Feng Xin. When you’re nervous or pissed, you tend to swear up a storm, which might give others the false impression of you being a rough, crude individual. You have a strong sense of morality and always strive to do the right thing, even during difficult circumstances; however, having unrealistic and romanticized expectations from others can be your undoing. Shouldering on responsibilities is good as long as you’re not overdoing it!

[6] Mu Qing (102 to 115) Incredibly hardworking, studious, and always aiming for the top, you share many similar traits with the martial god of the southwest, Mu Qing. Despite your diligence and your attempts to do good deeds in your own way, your cold and moody exterior, as well as your mean-though-not-necessarily-malicious streak tend to repel others and keep people from wanting to get close to you. There are times when you get into a vicious cycle of comparing yourself against others; remember that as long as you carry on with a clear conscience, there’s nothing you can’t achieve!

[7] Jun Wu (116 to 127) You are well-respected; you are feared; most of all, you are a revered leader who watches over the others and wants to do everything you can for the wellbeing of the greater good, all of which makes you the most similar to the great Martial God Heavenly Emperor, Jun Wu. Though reserved and gentle most of the time, you can also turn violently self-destructive, especially when things don’t go the way you expect; those who don’t know you well would even go so far as calling you two-faced. Your aspirations and competence are what drive you forward in life, and people willingly follow your lead, but be aware of how you make use of your influences, too!