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navybrat817 · 19 hours ago
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Just.... Bucky getting on his knees and begging "honey, open your legs please" like he's a man that's been starving for months, him breathing and tasting through the panties because he's that impatient.
I love this so much, nonnie.
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Sweet Like Honey
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky begs to have a taste when he gets home.
Word Count: Over 1.2k
Warnings: Oral sex (f. receiving), implied sex, possessive behavior, established relationship, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: This feels like Feral Bucky. Hope you lovelies enjoy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You sat on the couch fifteen minutes ago. You closed your eyes five minutes ago. It amazed you that you hadn't fallen asleep with how tired you were from your long day, but Bucky would be home shortly and you wanted to curl up with him before you dozed off. He’d find it sweet, and so would you.
You should've known he’d have other ideas.
“Hey, Bucky,” you mumbled when you heard his deliberate footsteps. When he didn't answer you cracked an eye open. “Bucky?” you asked, watching him toss his jacket away and flex his hands. He had a familiar look in his blue eyes. Not quite feral, but close.
Oh, he was hungry.
He pushed the coffee table out of the way with his foot and bent down to kiss your lips. Soft, but desperate, so it didn't surprise you when he dropped to his knees in front of you. “Honey, open your legs,” he demanded in a dark, deep voice once he pushed your dress up. One that made you grip the cushions when he rested his hands on your knees. “Please.”
“Well, hello to you, too.” You rolled your eyes, but your smile was affectionate. What had him so wound up? “At least you said please.”
“I did, now please open your legs,” he demanded again, but it wasn't as forceful. You heard a hint of desperation, the same kind you tasted on his lips when he kissed you. “I’m already on my knees.”
“You are,” you agreed and you loved how badly he wanted you. “But why should I open my legs for you? I’m pretty tired.”
His mouth fell open. You never passed up an opportunity for him to pleasure you, and you’d let him eat as much as his heart desired. But you wanted to hear him beg a little for it for no reason at all.
“Because I'm horny and hungry and your pussy is the only thing that’ll satisfy me,” he answered, looking at where your legs were still together. “C’mon. Pussy’s so good. I need it. I crave it. Soft as silk, sweet like honey.”
You moaned. They were good reasons. “Tempting, tempting, but you just ate my pussy yesterday,” you reminded him, which earned you an offended look from the love of your life.
“Yesterday. An entire day ago. Your pussy needs me,” he snarled, his fingers sliding to your thighs and digging in. “Or should I say my pussy?”
“Easy, tiger. We both know it’s yours,” you teased, burying a hand in his hair and making him groan when you tugged on the strands. His words could turn you into molten lava, and you were wet the second he dropped to his knees. “But opening my legs doesn't address the fact that I'm tired. You understand that.”
He smirked when your legs opened an inch. “I’m sorry you're tired, but making you feel good is the perfect way to get you to sleep. I’ll get you off on my tongue and fingers… Make you pass out when I get my cock in you.” He sounded wrecked as your thighs parted more, your core . “And I’ll carry you to bed and wrap you in a warm blanket.”
“And you’ll cuddle with me, too? If you’re demanding that I open up, I demand some cuddles,” you said. He’d cuddle with you even if you didn't demand it.
“Cuddle, snuggle, curl up with you, spoon you, can even keep me cock warm while I hold you,” he rattled off, smirking when you bit your lip. “Just let me eat, please.”
You hummed. It was tempting. And how many people could say a super soldier begged for just a taste of them? To fuck them? “Just how hungry are you and for what reason?”
Bucky licked his lips when you completely opened your legs and showed him your clothed cunt. “Fucking hungry and for no reason at all except your existence,” he growled.
You made a small noise when he dove in and inhaled, your face nearly burning from how hot it felt when he licked and tugged impatiently at the wet fabric with his teeth. “Bucky!”
“Told you. ‘m fucking hungry.” He licked the fabric again with a growl and nudged your clit with his nose. “God, you’re so wet for me. Need it on my tongue. Need it on my cock.”
“Fuck…” you whimpered. He wanted your pussy so badly he couldn't even wait for a proper taste. “Okay, you can eat.” He had begged enough in your eyes.
“Fucking finally.”
You scoffed. “Finally? You just-”
He ripped your underwear off and left you bare, drawing another breathless sound from you at the first touch of his mouth on your damp folds. He brought his hands to your hips and pulled you closer so he could open you up with his tongue, his broad shoulders keeping your legs apart. You nearly lost it when he plunged it deep inside and licked around your walls, his throaty moan making you shudder. Every lick and caress made you feel like you’d melt into the couch. The sensations were overwhelming, especially since your senses went from dull to heightened.
“Beautiful,” he rumbled.
“We both are,” you smiled. He made you feel beautiful, and he sure as fuck looked beautiful between your thighs.
“And I’m so…” His thumb on your clit had you pulling his hair. “Fucking…” You tightened around the finger that slipped inside your tight channel. “Hungry.”
There was no getting between Bucky and his meal. No stopping him once he had a taste, his fingers and mouth tender even as he devoured you. It almost didn't seem fair some days. All you had to do was flash your tits or spread your legs and the ex-assassin was lost to the world. Even after a long day you got to lay back while he pleasured you simply because he wanted you. You reaped all the benefits, came every time.
You’d make sure he came, too, before the night was over.
“You… really are hungry,” you moaned, your back arching when another finger. Bucky wasn't just an enthusiastic lover. He was attentive. He knew what made you tick and how to make you let go. “Fuck! There! Please!”
“Music to my ears, and you really do taste like fucking honey.” He gazed up at you with a smirk on his wet lips as his fingers curled. You tasted yourself on his lips before and it tasted nothing like honey, but who were you to argue when he enjoyed it so much? “Melt for me and I’ll carry you to bed on my cock.”
It didn't take you long to reach your peak of pleasure once his mouth was back on you, your thighs shaking and his name leaving your lips in a cry. He hummed and groaned as he tasted your release like it was the most delicious treat he ever had. You were aware that he called you a good girl as your vision blurred, and he also said he loved you as you rode out your orgasm. He may have even apologized for the “lack of foreplay”.
But as he carried you to bed with a kiss to your forehead and his cock buried inside you as promised, you knew he’d more than make that up to you.
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The man needs you, okay? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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neptuneiris · 2 days ago
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Back To You | (One-shot)
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (friend with benefits)
summary: you're always there, hoping for more. to be more. to mean more and something real. but that's not what he wants, always drawing the line. until… you just can't take it anymore.
words: 19k
sorry for the delay and also sorry this is too long. i won't promise anything next time 😅 and please comment, i want to hear your opinions, a reblog is also appreciated guys.
my masterlist
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warnings: angst, sex content, heartbreak.
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The first time you met Aemond, it was in the same way everyone else did and in his main way of making himself known to people: quiet, calm and reserved.
If you didn't have friends in common, you know you would never have been able to get close to him. But it was your small group of friends in college that brought you together with him; Alysanne, Sara, Cregan and Jason.
From the beginning, Aemond seemed to exist in his own orbit.
While the others fill the spaces with laughter and conversation, he preferred silence. He is like a constant shadow in the group, always present but not fully integrated.
He usually didn't speak much in topics of conversation, but when he did, his voice is quiet, soft and even soothing that it was almost hypnotic.
And maybe that was what first caught your attention. Something about the way he was, that unwavering distance and tranquility that wasn't arrogant, but almost… carefree.
You understand that he befriended Cregan in one of the classes they shared together. And it was Cregan who gradually included him in the group, at the same time that Sara was also including you.
You soon noticed that, although he was present at meetings and outings, there was a pattern in his behavior.
He talked more with Cregan and Jason, not with the same ease with which they talked to each other, but with a ease that he didn't have with Alysanne, Sara or you.
It's not that he was rude, when you addressed him a few times, he responded politely, but his tone was always restrained, measured.
And not only that, you also notice that as soon as someone tries to get too close, invisible walls rise around him, high and impenetrable. And his selectivity with the people he surrounds himself with, or talks to, becomes all too noticeable.
Even in the group chat Alysanne had created, he doesn't say much. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all.
He never initiated conversations or left casual comments compared to the others. And when he did write, it was only when someone asked him a question. Sometimes days or weeks would go by without his name coming up in conversation.
And, at least, at first… you didn't think much of him.
Aemond was just another presence in the group, someone with whom you shared moments but not necessarily a connection, let alone a friendship, at all. You just kept in mind that his reserved and carefree attitude made him different.
Although over time, you began to notice certain things about him that began to catch your attention.
The way he kept his distance even when surrounded by people. The ease with which he glided through life without worrying about fitting in or pleasing anyone. And the way he showed no interest in being heard or belonging.
He didn't show his emotions and it was hard to read. As well as it was hard to tell what he was thinking about, if he was thinking about anything at all.
That made him even more intriguing and that was the way he inevitably began to draw your interest.
Not because you hoped to change him or because you wanted to discover some secret hidden behind his distant attitude, but because, without even trying, he stood out from everyone else.
While the others sought validation in shared laughter and endless conversation, Aemond didn't care about any of that. And worst of all, no matter how hard you tried to ignore him, every time you saw him, every time you suddenly heard his voice, you felt something twisting inside you.
At first, you justified it as simple curiosity. But curiosity doesn't explain the way your attention kept coming back to him.
How you found yourself looking for him at every meeting, how you waited for him to speak, even if it was just to answer a simple question, and how, despite his indifference, you began to realize that you wanted him closer.
It also didn't help with how incredibly attractive he is.
Despite the scar down the middle of his face and the eye he doesn't have, actually being a prosthetic, he is beautiful.
An accident, Cregan told you, when you asked him, to get a little more information about him. But that was all he told you and with a tone that made it clear to you that he didn't even know that much. So you didn't press the subject.
Not because you weren't curious, but because you knew that Aemond is the kind of person who doesn't talk about certain things with just anyone. And over time, that distance between the two of you began to bother you.
You wanted to get to know him beyond the few words he shared with the group, beyond the occasional comments he made. So, one day, you decided to try to get closer to him.
Try to break down his walls with you.
A difficult thing to do, considering everyone knows what he's like. But not impossible. Or at least that's what you told yourself.
You have an advantage, considering you both belong to the same group of friends. But you know that won't make it any less difficult, still, it's something in your favor. The problem was that you needed an excuse.
You couldn't just show up and talk to him for no reason. You needed something that would get his attention so he would talk back to you to keep him. But there was nothing. There was no specific topic, no common theme or shared class, nothing.
But you would find it. You had to.
Until one day, you saw a change in him. So slight and so small it could barely be noticed. Anyone else wouldn't have even noticed, but you did.
A change in his cold and disinterested attitude, which was suddenly colder and more disinterested. He was more serious than usual. He didn't speak at all unless the guys asked him something.
And his look… serious and even annoyed, with slumped shoulders and as if he was more lost in thought than usual. From the morning, when he arrives on campus with his usual air of indifference, you notice that change in him.
And on a Friday, as the day goes by normally, you can't take your eyes off him.
At lunch, the group gathers in the gardens for lunch, as usual, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Jason and Cregan talk about their usual anecdotes, Alysanne and Sara laugh and tease them and he… completely silent.
Sitting at the end of the table, he has only a bottle of water in front of him, which he sips from time to time. He does not join in the conversation and gazes off into the horizon, lost in thought.
But his tense posture, hard stare and clenched jaw, you notice all that. You want to talk to him. Ask him if he's okay. But you don't want to bother him. However, Jason notices it too and thankfully asks him.
“What's wrong, dude? Aren't you going to eat?”
You immediately watch them intently.
“I'm not hungry,” he replies simply and without emotion.
“And why is that? Everything okay with you?”
Aemond nods without saying anything else. He doesn't explain, and Jason doesn't insist. Neither do the others. They simply continue the conversation as if nothing had happened.
To them, Aemond has always been like that; reserved, quiet and indifferent. But you know there's more to it.
The minutes pass and you don't know what to do. You think about what would be the most ideal way to approach him. But nothing comes to mind.
Then he suddenly stands up and tells Cregan quietly that he will be leaving for his next class. He doesn't say goodbye to the others, just hangs his backpack over his shoulder and leaves.
And it's in that instant that you make a decision.
You don't know if it's a good idea. You don't know if it will work. And you hesitate, as you watch him walk off into the distance.
You could approach him, ask him if he's okay. But you know he'll most likely pull your back out before you can even try. So instead, you pull out your phone, unlock the screen, open the messaging app and start typing.
'Hey, are you okay?'
Simple. Subtle. Polite. You don't look at it the wrong way. In fact, it might work. Still, nerves wash over you, actually not so sure. But you finally take a deep breath and press send.
Honestly, you don't know why you thought he'd respond right away. Or that at the very least, his response would come in maybe ten or fifteen minutes.
By the time night falls and you're lying in your bed, rolling through your social media and no new messages, you begin to accept that he won't reply. And that he probably just ignored the message because he's not the least bit interested.
You sigh and put your phone aside, trying to push the topic out of your mind. But just as sleep begins to grip you, the vibration of your phone startles you.
You pick up the device quickly, a spark of hope lighting up your chest, only to have it shut off abruptly when you read his reply.
'Who are you?'
Embarrassment hits you so hard you feel heat rise to your face.
Disillusion and disappointment that he doesn't even have you in his contacts. You mean… you both belong to the same group of friends and you're both in the same group chat. And he doesn't have your number?
You bite the inside of your cheek, seriously considering not saying anything else to him and pretending this never happened.
But after staring at the message for a few long minutes, you let go of the humiliation and reply in the hope that he'll get back to you in a few minutes and not until tomorrow.
'I'm Y/N.'
A few minutes pass, at most three, but you feel them eternal. All is silence, until your next message comes through.
'Why do you ask that?'
You press your lips together, rereading the screen. It could be genuine curiosity… or it could be his way of making you feel even more out of place. But you don't take it back. Not this time and not anymore.
So you sigh, settle better in bed and decide to be honest.
'Well, I saw you really off today and I just wanted to make sure you're okay.'
The 'read' indicator almost to the second, makes your heart skip a beat. And you watch, expecting to see the 'typing' later.
But seconds pass and nothing. And you watch your screen more intently, as if that will magically make him decide to write you when you want him to. And when you see that he has left you on read, again the embarrassment invades you.
When suddenly, finally, the ´typing´ appears and your heart skips a beat. And finally, his reply.
'I'm fine.'
Two words. Nothing more.
You bite your lip, reading the message over and over, not entirely what you expected and increasingly convinced that this is going to be harder than you thought.
It's not a closed response, but it's not an invitation to continue the conversation either. You could leave it at that. Decide that you did your part and that, if he doesn't want to talk, you can't force him.
But something in you is resisting. You don't want to leave it at that even though you know you're going to be disappointed and that this, his attitude, won't change overnight.
But at least you can be honest. So you write and send the message before you regret it.
'If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.'
And again, you wait.
Surprisingly, he reads your message within a second. However, disappointment again overcomes you when you read his immediate, curt reply.
'Thanks.'
All hope, anticipation and excitement evaporates from your body. You stand there for a moment doing nothing, thinking about what else to write him, wanting to be more sincere and show him that he's counting on you.
'I mean it. I'm here for you, Aemond.'
That's something you'd like to hear if you're not feeling at your best. Knowing that there's someone who cares about you and your well-being, too, would help a lot.
However, the minutes tick by and this time Aemond's reply never comes. Nor does it come all weekend.
You're hoping that at college maybe he'll reach out after the brief text exchange, even… thank you personally for caring about him, text him or something, you don't even know but you're hoping for something, anything.
But you had to know that he would remain just as distant and cold as always.
Disillusioned, you keep noticing that slight pain he seems to be stuck in but is trying to ignore every time you all get together, without anyone else noticing.
You watch him from a distance, attentive and hopeful, but disappointed that you are unsuccessful in every approach to him to initiate a conversation.
Even after the two of you spoke by message, he has no interest in talking to you in person. And he barely notices your presence, as if you weren't even there.
That hurt you, but you understood that it was about what's going on in his mind and whatever it is that has him so depressed, not because you were really the problem.
So during a meeting on campus waiting for the next class to start, everyone discusses their weekend plans.
“There's a party tonight at the Martell frat house,” Cregan announces excitedly, “It's going to be great, they always know how to make a good scandal.”
Everyone begins to agree to attend, sharing laughs and jokes about the last time they went to a Martell party, even Alysanne and Sara, already planning their outfits for the night, except for you and Aemond.
Parties aren't your favorite place, though you've been to several before and always manage to have a good time with help from the girls. And Aemond being quiet catches Jason's attention.
“You'll come, won't you?” he asks him as he gives him a friendly tap on the shoulder.
He shrugs, starting to take a cigarette from his pocket along with the lighter, not caring at all about the subject of the party.
“I don't know.”
Jason frowns, watching him blankly.
“You don't know?”
“Who doesn't know?” inquires Cregan instantly, listening intently and confused.
Jason points it out but Aemond nonchalantly lights his cigarette, while you watch the interaction of the three of them, but always focus entirely on him.
“But you always come over,” Cregan tells him just as confused as Jason.
“It'll be fun,” Jason continues, ”Besides, it's Friday night. What else could you be doing?”
“I don't really feel like going to a party,” he says, just as nonchalant as before.
“Oh, come on,” Jason urges, “We deserve it, you especially after the hell of projects we've had to submit. We need to de-stress.”
“And besides you'll be with us, what can go wrong?” says Cregan to him with his tone full of optimism, trying to convince him.
“Everything,” he tells him in his equally soft and low tone of voice as always, causing a chuckle between both boys.
“But it'll be fun, come on.”
He focuses his gaze on an unimportant point and you, listening to the conversation intently, feel that little spark in your chest lingering, watching him hopefully for him to say yes.
Then you decide to add your voice to convince him.
“You should come,” you say, catching the attention of the three of them, with your shy but firm look and voice, ”It might be a good distraction and it will help you clear your mind.”
Not exactly the best words but you try and feel your heart start to beat fast in your chest from nerves as you watch his eye meet yours.
But it doesn't last too long as Cregan speaks again.
“Yeah, dude. Let's all go together. I don't think you'll get bored but if you do, we can always leave early or switch parties, whichever is better.”
The three of them watch him expectantly for his response, to which he is a little overwhelmed by the attention. But he finally lets out a resigned sigh, feeling the weight of his friends' expectations, and nods slowly, lowering his gaze and refocusing on his cigarette.
“Fine,” he says in a low but determined voice. “But don't expect me to stay all night.”
The answer sparks a small celebration between Cregan and Jason, who pat him on the back and you avoid smiling big, pursing your lips.
“Great! That's all we asked for, mate.”
“It'll be fun, you'll see.”
Everyone else speaks again, except for him and you, as you stare at him for a brief moment, feeling the spark of hope grow bigger inside you.
Tonight may be the opportunity you need to reach out and create connection with him. Besides, it's a party, everyone will be relaxed and surely he will be too, so you can't miss the opportunity.
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The night arrives and with it, the anticipation of the party at the Martell fraternity house.
As you approach the imposing house you notice the pulsating lights and vibrant music that can be heard from yards away, promising a fun and energetic night. With Alysanne and Sara, you see the groups of people talking and laughing at every corner, drinking and smoking.
And as you enter the house, the party is in full bloom, with everyone dancing and having a good time, with the smell of beer, cigarettes and even weed lingering in the air, causing Alysanne and Sara to quickly immerse themselves in the atmosphere, pulling you along with them very excitedly to where everyone is dancing.
The energy around you is contagious and as the minutes pass, you catch yourself laughing and dancing, where your worries momentarily fade away amidst the bright lights and pulsating rhythms, enjoying the moment.
Yet there is still that anticipation in you, that excitement as you look out the front door and in all directions, waiting to see him.
And in the middle of dancing with your friends, singing the songs of the moment at the top of your lungs and enjoying the energy of the whole party, just as your gaze briefly focuses on your surroundings, you finally spot a figure with silver hair moving through the crowd.
With a jolt in your heart, you focus your gaze and recognize Aemond.
He moves with a quiet grace, but his expression is a mixture of discomfort and determination. He weaves his way through the people, his gaze scanning the entire place, as if seeking a refuge or maybe a familiar face.
His posture and energy is oblivious to the frenetic energy of the party with his deliberate movements and nonchalant attitude.
And you continue to watch him, with the hustle and bustle of the party fading around you and focusing entirely on him.
You feel a mixture of relief and happiness at seeing him, relief that he has come and happiness that tonight you will finally be able to get close to him.
Aemond continues to approach the epicenter of the party, when on his way he finally meets Cregan and Jason, who greet him enthusiastically and hand him a drink almost instantly, integrating him into the atmosphere and enveloping him in their conversation.
Over drinks and cigarettes, as well as after some banter and laughter, Aemond finally begins to relax, though his movements are more restrained than the others. He would prefer less noise, but it is a party after all.
And you watch from a distance, seeing how the guys entertain him and integrate him into the party, noticing how his posture relaxes more and his expression softens, holding a bottle of beer in his hand and a cigarette in the other.
You know that now is not the time to get close, you want to let him find his own pace without pressure, so you stay in your place, enjoying the company of your friends and also the whole party.
Afterwards you join your friends for more drinks, they insist on taking pictures and videos together, you dance some more, go to get some fresh air because of how suffocated it is and when you look back towards the guys, Aemond is not there.
Cregan and Jason are there with some girls, but he especially is nowhere to be seen. You begin to feel a twinge of unease and start to move slyly through the crowd, looking for his familiar figure.
Until you decide to approach and ask for him or else you'll never be able to find him among all the people already at the party and the people still still entering the house.
“Hey,” you approach towards them, with a relaxed attitude, trying to look casual, ”Where's Aemond? I saw him arrive earlier.”
Cregan turns to you, smiling, while Jason blinks several times as if trying to remember.
“Oh, yeah, he went out a few minutes ago.”
“I think that way,” Cregan points to the backyard with a nod, ”Maybe he needed air or something, he said he'd be back soon.”
You decide to look for him discreetly, making your way through all the students, but the house is full, even more so than it was a few moments ago, with the heat and bustle starting to make you feel overwhelmed.
You think to yourself that he probably went to the bathroom, but minutes pass and being with the girls, you keep looking for him but he's nowhere to be seen.
And that's when you think about the possibility that he has decided to leave.
This leaves you with an empty feeling in your chest and you look around, letting out a long breath and inevitably already starting to feel disappointed.
You continue to scan the place in hope, but minutes pass and there is no sign of him at all.
“Hey,” Alysanne calls out to you, “What's up?” she watches you intently and with a soft smile on her lips.
“Oh… n-nothing,” you act casual, “I just need to go to the bathroom,” you point out, “I'll be right back, okay?”
“You want me to come with you?”
“No, no, don't worry, it's fine,” you assure her instantly.
Again you make your way through the students and head towards the stairs, hoping to find an empty room or a space with fewer people, since you don't really need to go to the bathroom.
At this point you already feel too overwhelmed with the music and all the people that keep arriving, making it impossible to walk. So you just want to breathe and have some peace and quiet.
Fortunately the corridors on the second floor are not so crowded, there are people, yes, but nothing like down there and you try to open the doors, cautious of course, afraid of interrupting some compromising scene.
Until finally the last door opens and it's an empty room, clearly decorated with the personal touch of one of the frat boys.
You sigh and close the door behind you, stepping inside, barely hearing the sound of music up to here and all the chaos. You plop down on the edge of the bed, trying to calm your mind and feeling the tension in your feet give way after all that dancing.
The minutes pass and although you try to distract yourself with anything on your phone, again the disappointment invades you and so does the thought, without being able to help it.
You have failed to keep in touch with Aemond and at this rate, it seems you will never succeed.
He is quite an enigma, very reserved, indifferent to the attentions that many girls in college would long to receive from him and that is what confuses you.
You think of his brother Aegon, whose behavior is the complete opposite.
Aegon adores the attention of girls, his adventures are scattered all over campus and yet, Aemond is a mystery, so secretive that even a simple friendship with him seems out of reach.
And these differences between the two brothers only add another layer of confusion to your feelings for Aemond. You can't help but wonder why someone like him, so aloof and closed off, appeals to you so much.
He won't even give you the time of day, he barely acknowledges your existence when you're in a group with the guys, his gaze barely rests on you, and whenever you try to talk to him, he barely responds and then brushes you aside with an indifference that leaves you feeling completely invisible.
Then why? Why do you keep trying?
You don't even know.
You get up and start walking slowly around the room, trying to calm your thoughts, not really knowing what to do.
You think maybe you should go back to your dorm, since you really don't want to go back down there with all the people and the commotion. But you know that Alysanne and Sara are still enjoying themselves and you leave alone.
You sit back down on the bed and run a hand across your forehead, letting out a sigh, when suddenly, the bedroom door opens and you look up almost instantly.
And then your heart leaps with anticipation and surprise.
Aemond appears under the threshold, his eye meeting yours and you both stand for a moment motionless, saying nothing.
He scans your face and the room as well, while you continue to stare at him in surprise, definitely not expecting him to appear here at all. And there's something particularly in his gaze that tells you he's also looking for shelter from the party. When again his gaze focuses on you.
"I'm sorry," he says to you, in a low, unconcerned voice, "I didn't know anyone was here."
You say nothing for a few seconds, but force yourself to react.
"It's okay," you say quickly, trying to sound calm, "Don't worry."
Again the anticipation grows inside you, this time stronger, mingling with unexpected joy.
He is not gone.
He is here.
And that rekindles the spark of hope in you, which makes you strive to keep your expression relaxed and less surprised, trying to look completely casual and act normal.
A silence settles between you, one that is both awkward and full of potential, to which you try to speak but Aemond speaks first, taking a step back and with his hand still on the knob.
"Am I bothering you?" he asks, his gaze studying you.
"No, not at all," you reply immediately, your words coming out a little more hastily than you intended.
This instantly embarrasses you and you lower your gaze for a moment, clearing your throat.
"I mean, no," you say more relaxed and in a soft tone, "It's okay if you stay. You're not bothering me," you offer him a small, tight-lipped smile, "I guess you want to hide for a while."
He looks out into the hallway, seeming to consider your words for a moment, then lets out a sigh, again watching you and finally enters the room with soft steps, closing the door behind him.
"From Cregan and Jason specifically."
You let out a small chuckle under your breath, wanting to create that light and easy atmosphere between the two of you by being open and relaxed with him so as to get him to loosen up a bit more with you.
You remain seated on the bed, as he walks over to the window and begins to pull his pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket along with his lighter.
With a deft movement, he lights the cigarette, where the small flame briefly illuminates his features before a ball of smoke dissipates into the room.
He opens the window and all the commotion outside is heard more clearly, but not enough for both of you to feel annoyed with it, feeling the night air come in to envelop you.
And you continue to sit, trying not to watch him too much, though it's impossible, he is Aemond Targaryen after all.
Still you search for something to say as he stands in a casual pose by the window, smoking and watching the night sky.
"Are you all right?" you ask finally, breaking the silence, your tone soft and gentle, not wanting to seem intrusive.
He nods, not watching you, with the smoke from the cigarette wafting around his face.
"Yeah," he replies in a distant tone, but you notice how thoughts keep running through his mind, "I'm fine."
You omit to let out a long sigh as you gently bite the inside of your cheek and watch him silently for a moment, thinking of something else to say.
Even he doesn't feel your gaze on him, where you silently admire his straight profile, his set jaw, the high cheekbones, the line of his nose, his lips... all his completely beautiful features and so ethereal.
And yet, all those beautiful features have a weight of sadness and tension, where you can see how a tide of thoughts cross his mind that seemingly only you can notice.
You see his barely-there frown and the tension in his jaw, lost in thought, with the cigarette slowly burning away between his long fingers.
You are torn between remaining silent or trying to break the ice surrounding it. You know that your words must be carefully chosen, not pushing but showing your genuine concern.
So you think your words through very carefully and finally decide to take a chance, hoping that your sincerity might do something, anything.
"I've noticed you've been... distant lately," you say, in a soft voice, "More than usual."
He doesn't respond right away, but you notice a slight tension in his shoulders. He takes a deep drag from his cigarette before exhaling slowly, his gaze still fixed on some point beyond the window, as if he's searching for answers in the dark.
Finally, he shakes his head and again responds without looking at you.
"It's nothing, just..." he is quiet for a moment, "Nothing that really matters to anyone."
Your eyebrows furrow slightly and you feel compelled to speak without thinking too much.
"It matters to me," you say in a soft tone, your gaze fixed on him, trying to let him see the sincerity in your eyes.
He slowly turns to you, finally watching you, his expression suddenly alert. There is a mixture of curiosity and anticipation on his face.
"And why would that be?" he asks you, his tone serious and slightly defensive, his frown showing his confusion, clearly not believing your words, "You don't even know me, nor I you."
The words that have come out of you so spontaneously now leave you vulnerable, but you can't back down. You feel a slight blush creep up your cheeks, but you try to stand firm even in your words.
"We're part of the same group of friends," you reply softly, your gaze fixed on him, trying to keep your composure, "We don't talk much, it's true, but I still care about you. Just like I care about everyone else."
He doesn't say anything to you right away. From a distance, he just stands there, watching you. The dim light in the room outlines the lines of his face in soft shadows.
You try not to look away from him, despite how overly intimidated and nervous you feel. And then, as if he is evaluating your words, he looks away and you see a small but visible smile curving his lips, to again raise the cigarette towards them.
"Is that so?" he murmurs and then takes a drag.
You find the scene hypnotic. The way he smokes. A simple action making him look so sexy.
And realizing you're making progress here, when you hadn't even seen him smile the way he just did, you decide to continue to be honest.
"I'm here for you Aemond, I mean it," you murmur, without hesitation, feeling the warmth of your own words. "Either way."
You watch him stare out the window for a few moments, taking another drag on his cigarette and then, he turns fully towards you.
His eye watches you with intensity and you see how there is an indecipherable glint. He tilts his head slightly, watching as he slowly sweeps his gaze over you, igniting all your alerts in you.
Still, you hold his gaze, despite the way he seems to evaluate you and make you feel exposed. He searches for the truth in your every word, as if he's waiting for you to take it back, to hesitate and consider what you're telling him.
But you don't.
Then, with the cigarette slowly burning between his fingers, with a nonchalant movement, he stubs it out against a piece of furniture in the room. And then, he moves slowly and precisely, towards you.
One step. Another step. And another. Each one filling the space between you until the distance is minimal. Until you feel his proximity and your skin bristles, before he even touches you.
Enraptured, you slowly raise your gaze to him as he steps in front of you. His knees brush lightly against yours and his fragrance envelops you, a faint mixture of cigarettes and his cologne that smells too good and intoxicating.
Your heart begins to beat quite hard and fast in your chest, not understanding what is going on. But you don't want it to end.
And being like this, in this way, makes everything even more interesting. You continue to sit on the edge of the bed, while he stands in front of you, looking at your face more closely.
The silence stretches and you see the curve of his lips lift slightly as he sees no hesitation in you. And when he speaks, his voice is low, deep and soft, infused with something that sends a shiver down your spine.
"Either way?"
His words aren't just a question. They are a challenge. A provocation.
And you don't look away, as you watch him with your big eyes, not backing down. And then, you nod.
The blue of his eye seems to darken with your response, as if you've ignited something inside him. Then, he lifts a hand and with exasperating slowness, directs it to your face and his long fingers brush your cheek.
Holding your breath, you watch him curiously and attentively, as he tests the ground, your reaction. And then his caress becomes firmer. His fingers run along the line of your jaw, slowly ascending to tangle at the base of your hair.
His thumb slides to the corner of your lips, tracing the contour with a softness that contrasts with the intensity of his gaze, while you have to remind yourself how to breathe.
"Then say it," he murmurs, leaning in just barely.
Your throat feels dry. Your lips part, watching him completely mesmerized and unable to believe this is really happening. Your words get stuck, because in this moment, with Aemond so close, with his touch igniting every part of your body, you realize there's no turning back.
"Either way," you assure him in a soft, slightly trembling voice.
"And how far does either way go?"
He holds your gaze, that blue eye burning and as if he can see right through you, something dangerous and exciting.
His hand on your face is firm, but his thumb keeps tracing slow circles at the corner of your lips, almost in a distracted, shuddering caress. He is waiting, testing you.
"As far as you need," you murmur, without hesitation.
He tilts his head and suddenly, his free hand takes your arm, making you rise from the bed as his hand on your cheek is firmer, keeping you right where he wants you.
"So any way I need?" he murmurs, a barely raspy, enveloping whisper that seems to filter through your skin.
He leans in, until you feel his nose brush against yours. And you close your eyes for a moment, trying to contain the whirlwind of emotions he's nothing short of unleashing in you.
"Yes," you say in a whisper, trying to stand on your own two feet.
Suddenly his hand on your waist grips you firmly and tightly, holding you in his orbit with an ease that takes your breath away. There is no pressure, no urgency, just a silent possession that feels more dangerous than any words.
He leans closer to you, his face descending in a movement so slow it almost seems deliberate, as if he wants to lengthen the moment, as if he's enjoying the way your breath hitches, in how your lips barely part, in the way your pupils dilate as the space between you disappears.
His breath, warm with the faint trace of cigarette and mint, mingles with yours. Until his lips brush yours in a touch so ephemeral that it seems like an illusion.
A silent provocation. It's not an immediate kiss. No. He takes his time, brushing his mouth over yours torturously slow, as if giving you a chance to pull away, to stop him.
But you don't. Because you don't want to. Because you want him, so badly.
And when your body leans slightly into him, a sigh escapes your mouth before you can avoid it, needing him. And that seems to be all he needs, because then, you feel it.
His lips slide over yours with devastating precision, trapping you in a kiss that leaves no room to breathe. His hand on your cheek holds you by the back of your neck, while the hand on your waist pulls you closer to him.
He closes in a little more, tilting your face towards him as his other hand slowly slides down your waist, drawing you closer, eliminating any chink of space between your bodies.
The kiss intensifies as his tongue brushes against yours, soft, teasing, exploring with a patience and assurance that makes you shiver. Aemond does not rush. There is no desperation in his touch, just something darker, deeper, as if he wants to memorize your every reaction, every tremor of your body beneath his.
Then it's deeper and more demanding.
You have to cling to his shirt, to the folds of fabric between your fingers, because suddenly you're not sure you can stand without him.
And when he finally pulls away, just a little, just enough to look at you with that fiery blue eye, lips parted and breath hitching, you know nothing will ever be the same again.
"Tell me again," he murmurs against your lips, his forehead touching yours.
With your heart racing, you manage to hold his gaze and find the words to speak, when all you want to do is keep kissing him.
"I'm here for you, Aemond," you say, your tone soft, but confident, "Either way," you complete, without a hint of hesitation.
His gaze darkens. And then, he kisses you again.
And from that moment, that's when it all began. But only when you were alone.
There were no words about it, no questions, no explanations. The next day, Aemond behaved the same as always: serious, distant, impenetrable when you were surrounded by people.
There were no glances, no brushes, no hint that anything had happened the night before. But at some point in the night, he showed up. A short message.
A silent signal that gave way to the change in your relationship with him.
The first time you went to his apartment, there was no doubt or hesitation. He opened the door without a word and you walked in, feeling the warmth of his gaze following you closely. There were no words other than cordial ones and then there was no more preamble.
His way of touching you was firm, decisive, as if he had known you forever, as if he knew exactly what to do to make everything else disappear.
And in those moments, with his breath brushing against your skin and his hands roaming your body, you understood what this was.
It was just sex. But, surprisingly, there was something more.
Something that wasn't said out loud, but it was there, in the way his fingers lingered on your skin after it was all over. He wasn't asking you to stay, but he wasn't asking you to leave either. And somehow, that was enough.
That's how the dynamic between you began.
There were no explicit rules, but the boundaries were clear. The relationship was not based solely on desire, though.
When the two of you were alone, Aemond wasn't his usual self. He wasn't the cold, serious man everyone knew. With you, when the door closed and the world was outside, his expression changed. His barriers would crumble, if only for a moment.
There were nights when, after all, he would simply lie beside you, tangling his fingers in your hair in silence. He would tell you things he never told anyone, fragments of his mind that he rarely shared. And so did you with him.
It wasn't that he was affectionate, for Aemond is not that kind of person. But in the quiet of the night, when you were alone, he allowed himself to be something more than the impenetrable man everyone thought they knew.
In public, however, nothing changed.
He didn't ignore you, but he didn't treat you differently either. If you shared a room with others, he was the same old Aemond: observant, reserved, with an expression no one could read.
There were no signs of what went on when you were alone. It wasn't that he was ashamed of what you had, but he wasn't interested in letting the world know either.
And there were times when you wondered if this was enough for you. If you could go through with this, whatever it was, that existed only in the shadows. The doubt kept you up most of the night and distracted in your classes.
But then, there came the moments that made you forget those doubts.
When he had you against the wall or under his body, his mouth claiming yours with deep, electrifying movements, demanding and possessive.
There was tenderness in the small gestures, in the way he ran his fingers down your back after all, in the way he tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear before kissing you again.
But all that only existed when it was just the two of you.
A delicate balance between what was allowed and what was not. A secret kept within four walls, where Aemond allowed himself to be more than just the man everyone knew. Where you are one of the few people he allows to see him as he really is.
And that, for now, is enough for you.
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“Gods, Aemond.”
The sensation of his wet tongue exploring your pussy takes over every part of your mind and body. Your fingers grip his hair as your hips begin to roll into his face, unable to contain yourself and unable to stop the moans that escape your lips.
You let your head fall back against his pillow, closing your eyes and furrowing your brows in pleasure as you feel his lips suck and lick your clit.
Your thighs rest against his shoulders, as his arms spread you even wider for him, letting him see all of you. He feasts, tasting his saliva and your juices, unable to get enough of you.
Your whole body writhes, having no escape from his grip, as your moans and the sound of his tongue working on you fill his room. When a suck on your clit especially makes you shudder, feeling the reach of your orgasm sooner than you expected.
“Oh my—fuck, I'm gonna come,” you gasp, warning quickly.
“Yeah?” he asks you, pulling slightly away from your pussy, “Are you close, baby?”
You can't speak, just nod.
Then you throw your head back hard, moaning as his tongue finds its way through all your wetness again and one of his fingers enters you, further stimulating the arrival of your orgasm.
“Oh, fuck! Yes, Aem—
He watches you from where he is, still eating you, delighting in your expression and the way you squirm.
You bring both of your hands up to hold your breasts tightly, biting your lips and moaning loudly, feeling the heated pleasure hit you with intensity. He keeps sucking you, prolonging your orgasm, while you moan and see stars behind your eyes.
The perfect scene to make his cock harder.
He gives you one last kiss on your clit as you calm down and he moves up your body, bringing one of his hands to one of your breasts, cupping it and kneading it firmly.
His face leans toward you and he kisses you, letting you taste your flavor as he has so many times before. You feel dizzy, exhausted and overheated. But you know none of this ends here.
So you open your arms, embracing him as he makes room between your legs, never stopping kissing you.
“So pretty. So good for me,” he whispers against your lips with desire.
Hot and heavy, Aemond presses his cock against you, pressing it deliciously against your clit. You furrow your brows and gasp, still feeling the weight of your earlier, intense orgasm.
But you want more, more of him.
“Please,” you moan, rolling your hips against him, ”I want you to fuck me.”
“Yeah? You want that?”
Everything about him is intoxicating, enthralling, dazzling and hypnotic. You don't think clearly. Much less in sex. So you just nod, needing more of him. Your pussy clenches around nothing and it frustrates you, so you grind your hips harder against his cock.
“Don't worry. I'm going to fuck you just right,” he tells you then leaves a soft kiss on your cheek.
Agitated, you watch as he removes his boxers and his hard cock slams against his lower abdomen. Big, pale and hot.
He reaches over to his nightstand drawer, grabbing a condom. He puts it on quickly and brings the tip to your folds, wetting it with your juices and slowly opening you for him.
The contact makes you shudder and you cling to his shoulders as he slowly begins to open you up. The sensation invades you almost instantly, intoxicating you, as he fills you to the hilt.
You watch him with your mouth open, as his eye bores into yours and he drops down for a moment to watch perfectly as the two of you join, hissing, staying still afterwards to give you time to adjust.
You've felt it many times before, it's not new, you can take it in completely. Yet it feels like the first time, every time.
And then, he begins his gentle back and forth, moving in and out of you slowly, at the same time burying his face in your neck, sighing as he feels your perfect pussy squeeze him.
“Oh fuck,” he gasps in your ear, sending shivers through your body, “Squeezing me so fucking tight. Feels so good. So deep in your pretty pussy.”
“Feels good. So good, Aemond.”
Then, he begins to penetrate you with steadier movements, deep and hard.
The air leaves your lungs, as you cling to his shoulders and hug him against you as you feel his warm breath against your neck each time he thrusts inside you again.
You whimper, feeling him keep up the steady rhythm, making you bite your lip at the delicious sensation that soothes the need you feel deep inside you.
“Oh Gods,” you moan, ”Oh yes.”
His onslaught is faster and more energetic, penetrating you harder.
“That's it, baby. Wrap your legs around my torso,” he commands you in a soft, but firm, deep voice, full of lust.
And you do, desperate to feel him deeper inside you. The sound of skin against skin along with moans and gasps are all you hear in the room.
“Yeah, just like that,” he croons in your ear, ”Good girl. Just for me.”
All he gets from you is that you squeeze his cock harder. And he speeds up his movements, as he steals your breath with each thrust.
Aemond grunts and leans in a little, raising one hand to grab the edge of the bed's backrest for support to hit your exact spot with more precision and you whimper, arching your back at the delicious sensation.
He watches your every expression pleased, digging his fingers even deeper into the wood and with his other hand your skin, enjoying your pretty sounds that you make only for him.
“Aemond,” you moan.
Resting your head on the pillow and moaning without caring about anything else, you collapse. You tremble beneath him, your eyes roll back in your head, and you explode with an intensity stronger than your previous orgasm.
Feeling the way you squeeze him, he speeds up his movements, his thrusts faster and harder, reaching his own orgasm. He grunts and buries his face in your neck, grabbing one of your breasts hard as he cums inside you.
He curses, as he drops his body on top of you, breathing hard and his pulse too fast.
Then, complete silence.
Neither of you say or do anything. You both try to regulate your breathing and calm down from the high. Then, he leaves a soft kiss on your cheek, with his hand holding your face to then begin a brief trail of kisses to your lips. He kisses you deeply and finally leaves a last kiss on your forehead.
It feels like heaven and everything about him completely consumes you. It drugs you and floods you in the way you don't want it to stop. And you deeply wish time would stop so you can enjoy the moment forever.
But then, he gets off of you and lies down next to you letting out a sigh. And suddenly, coldness. There is no more affection or the warmth he used to give you.
You cover yourself with the sheets and watch him almost out of the corner of your eye. You want to get close to him, to hug him and have him make you feel safe and well cared for after the act of intimacy, like before.
But before you even try anything, he reaches over and takes from his nightstand a cigarette, lighting it. He makes himself comfortable in his own way and takes drags while staring at the ceiling or a spot in the room.
You bite your lips and look away from him, having no idea what to say.
The smoke reaches your nostrils and you both stay like that, existing, saying and doing nothing for a few long minutes. Then you see the time and it's late.
It's dangerous for you to go home by yourself, even in an Uber. And by his behavior, you doubt that he will tell you that you can stay or that he will drive you home.
You don't want to be later so you let out a long breath and without looking at him, you sit up with the sheets on your chest and start looking for your clothes.
"Where are you going?"
His question surprises you and catches you off guard instantly, so you turn to look at him a little uncertainly as you tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear.
"It's late. I should be going."
He checks the time too and watches you with a frown.
"Don't you want to stay?"
"Hum... I don't know," you shrug, "You want me to?"
"Yeah," he says nonchalantly, "You've stayed many times before."
"Yeah, I know, but... I don't know. I thought you didn't want me to stay this time."
He holds his frown as you watch him exhale smoke from between his parted lips, making a confused gesture with his head.
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I just thought about it," you shake your head, averting your gaze from him.
You feel his gaze on you as you bend over and pull on your shirt so you don't sleep completely naked. And he doesn't even tell you to wear his, like he used to a time ago.
He used to tell you that he loved seeing how his shirts looked on you and now... nothing.
"I'll drive you home in the morning. Don't worry," he tells you in that again nonchalant and... distant tone.
"Yeah," you murmur, turning to lie down next to him.
He lasts a few more minutes smoking his cigarette staring at the ceiling and nothing else, while you silently watch the features of his handsome face and the movements he makes with his hand and cigarette.
Finally he stubs out and throws what little is left of it in the trash, then turns off the lamp and begins to settle in next to you. He leans towards you, puts an arm behind your head and pulls your body towards him to sleep together, as before.
You place your head between his chest and neck as he wraps both arms around you and rests his head on yours, releasing a long breath to finally fall asleep.
For a moment, the action and the way you both are comforts you. His closeness and the way he holds you, makes you feel safe, comfortable, warm and makes those butterflies flutter in your stomach.
But you notice the little differences.
His touch is different, his nonchalant and distant attitude is transmitted through his movements and this... it felt like a mechanical movement, a movement caused by habit and almost forced.
It's like he has to, not because he really wants to. There are no little kisses or little caresses before bedtime while he holds you. Nothing. He doesn't make you feel the way he used to.
But at least he holds you.
And you settle for that, still with sadness in your heart and with the feeling that something has changed and you don't know what it is but, it gives you a bad feeling.
At least he's still doing these little things that used to make you happy. But... again, it's not like before.
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You prepare breakfast for Aemond and yourself.
You woke up earlier than usual just so you could prepare a decent breakfast for him so he wouldn't go to class on an empty stomach.
You know that his classes start earlier in the day compared to yours and you have been listening to him take a shower for a while and now he is probably finishing getting ready to leave.
A few minutes ago you received messages from Sara asking you where you will celebrate your birthday tomorrow. You just had to tell her a place and she and the guys will take care of the rest.
You feel visibly excited about it. Although Aemond hasn't talked to you about any of that but... you are hopeful.
At that moment he appears down the hallway, ready to go to class, heading quickly towards the living room where his backpack is, shooting you a brief glance.
"What are you doing?"
"I made breakfast," you tell him, making him coffee the way he likes it.
"I don't have time," he tells you hurriedly, not even looking at you.
That makes you stop and look at him confused.
You shouldn't either, in fact, they are little things that anyone would tell you are unimportant but... you notice them and it sets off another alarm in you.
"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" you ask him confused.
"No."
"But you always eat breakfast even if you're late."
"I can't now, Y/N. My first class is important," he tells you again with that coldness and almost... annoyance.
You watch him for a few seconds without saying anything. And then you watch all the breakfast ready in front of you as you bite the inside of your cheek, again feeling that bad feeling and discomfort running inside your body.
"Go get changed so I can drop you off at the dorm in passing," he tells you, "I don't have much time. We have to go now."
Surprisingly you don't want to.
Normally you would have accepted without even hesitating but now...you feel like you're annoying him and you don't want to do that with this too. Besides, he looks very rushed.
"Don't worry. I'll take the bus," you say without emotion, leaving everything on the table and heading towards his room to change.
"As you wish," he says behind you, unconcerned.
A sharp pain settles in your chest and you try to control yourself, not wanting to overthink things, even though you are already doing so.
With the sadness inside you, taking your time, you change and improve your appearance just a little. Normally you would have taken a shower here too but now you don't want to do any of that. You just want to go home.
You're barely finishing putting on your pants when you see him appear under the door frame with his backpack on his shoulder.
"Hey," he says to you in a surprisingly soft tone compared to a few seconds ago, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"
"Huh?" you look at him confused and attentive.
"Do you have plans tomorrow afternoon?"
You think about it for a moment, not expecting his question.
"Hum... no, not yet. In the night it's just the hanging out with the guys."
"Yeah, I know. But I thought we could do something the two of us before we go meet them."
And then, again that little hope appears and every ugly feeling from before is replaced.
My birthday.
You think instantly, feeling hopeful and excited. Surely he has a surprise for you and everything you were thinking before about his attitude and behavior, surely it's just because he has a lot to do regarding his classes and it really has nothing to do with you.
"Like what?"
He puts on a small half smile.
"Just be ready at six. I'll call you and pick you up."
"Oh, okay. Yeah, sure," you nod, smiling softly.
"Okay," he murmurs, "I'll see you later, then."
"Yeah. Drive safe."
He leaves and eventually so do you, it being a common routine where you know how to secure the door to his apartment when you're the last to leave.
Despite attending to your classes and work, you couldn't help but think of a thousand ways and things to do where Aemond will probably surprise you.
You didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. You texted him once you got to your residence and your day was almost over but he didn't respond.
Then you took a shower, finished some chores and watched a new episode of the show you are currently watching. Every once in a while you couldn't help but check your phone to see if you got a message from him or if he called you, but nothing.
Until eventually you fell asleep.
And the next morning, when you wake up, it's your birthday.
You get lots of messages and congratulations from your friends. Sara tags you on many Instagram stories wishing you a happy birthday. Other of your classmates also congratulate you and you spend part of the morning smiling and replying messages.
You FaceTime with your parents and family members you haven't seen in months. Even though the vacations are fast approaching, you've already made plans with Aemond to stay with him.
You receive more congratulations from cousins, aunts and uncles, you also talk to your grandparents and answer more messages from your friends.
Until you look for a specific person, there is nothing. Aemond hasn't texted or called you. The message you sent him yesterday he hasn't even seen it and that seems weird to you.
But the day is just starting so there is still plenty of time.
You also remember that he has something prepared for you this afternoon, so you look forward to whatever it will be. You know he will text or call you later.
You get ready and choose an outfit that makes it clear that this is your special day. You do waves in your hair and make your makeup a little more bold. Finally you apply lip gloss and head to campus.
You meet your classmates, they give you their best wishes, your professors also congratulate you on your birthday and your day is potentially going great.
Still, the hours pass and Aemond still hasn't contacted you.
That seems weird to you. But it's still early. So you follow the corresponding schedule of your classes and keep your mind busy for a couple more hours.
You finally get an hour's break and take a seat at one of the tables outside in one of the many gardens on campus. You pick up your phone and frown when you see that Aemond still hasn't texted you.
Confused, and just to put your mind at ease, you decide to text him yourself, asking if he's okay. But the messages don't reach him, confusing you and drawing your attention even more.
Either he has no signal wherever he is or his phone is turned off, which is very weird.
You tell yourself that surely he must be busy and will call you soon. You mean... he has to, right? It's your birthday and he has a plan for the two of you in a few more hours.
At that moment, you run into Jason, Cregan and Sara, who lock you in a tight group hug, congratulating you on your birthday and making a bit of a fuss.
"How's the birthday girl doing?" Jason asks you, smiling.
"Great," you assure him.
"Did you get any presents?" asks Sara.
"Mmm… yes, from some classmates," you reply with a small soft smile, "My mom also send a video with my little brothers. We promised to celebrate when I see them on vacation," you pause for a moment, hesitating if you should ask what's really on your mind.
But finally, you decide to do it in the most casual way possible.
"Oh and... have either of you seen Aemond?"
"I haven't," says Sara.
"I called him but sent me straight to mailbox," says Cregan.
"I think I saw him heading toward that building," Jason points out, "About two hours ago."
So he did come to class.
That's what your mind immediately thinks. But you don't understand what's going on with his phone.
"Yet he said he's going to the pub later," Cregan says.
"Yeah, that's where the whole group will finally be together," agrees Sara cheerfully.
Well, at least you know he's okay. And if he doesn't text or call you, you're sure he'll pick you up at your dorm like he said he would.
You linger for a few more moments chatting with the guys until eventually everyone heads off to their next class, hours pass and you finally finish your classes.
You quickly head to your residence to touch up your makeup and put on another outfit. You have exactly half an hour until six o'clock and Aemond arrives.
You put on your playlist of the moment and undecidedly start looking at all the outfits that are for the whole occasion. You don't know where Aemond will take you so you want to be prepared in case of anything.
You also make sure of your lingerie.
You recently bought a couple of new outfits and now seems like the time to break in a new one.
With Aemond it's almost a law that you'll both find the time wherever it is to obviously do... that. He's insatiable and goes crazy over every new outfit you put on and you really want to surprise him.
You finally finish getting ready and look at the time on your phone, it's exactly six o'clock. And excited, you wait for him.
Usually Aemond is very punctual. The time he says he will arrive, he arrives exactly at that time. But ten long, eternal minutes go by and he doesn't show up. And that really seems very weird to you.
Then fifteen, twenty minutes and he still doesn't show up.
If something got in his way, he would usually let you know. But you don't get a text or a call from him. So you decide to call him yourself.
Finally the call comes in and you wait for him to answer, relieved that his phone has a signal or is on, whatever happened. But he doesn't answer.
You call again, nothing. And again, nothing. Bewildered, you text him, telling him you're waiting for him. But nothing, he doesn't answer, doesn't tell you anything, doesn't even read them.
You start anxiously moving your foot up and down and call him a couple more times, but he doesn't answer. And that's what happens for over an hour, waiting for him to call you or say something, anything, but nothing.
Feelings of disappointment, sadness and anger wash over you. You plop down on your bed and continue to stare at your phone waiting for something, anything, with a bitter look on your face. But, again and as lately, nothing.
He hasn't even said happy birthday. He hasn't said anything at all. And the plan for both of you, completely forgotten.
When then, a terrible realization begins to dawn on you.
He maybe...?
No.
You immediately say to yourself, in denial.
He hasn't forgotten your birthday. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that to you. He couldn't.
Frustrated, you let out a long breath as the thought begins to creep deeper and deeper into your mind. Not leaving you alone and wanting to convince you that's exactly what happened. Or else he would have responded to your message from this morning and you both would be together right now.
But you tell yourself that maybe something happened. Something he didn't plan for. Maybe something important and he can't communicate it now, but eventually he will.
You're sure he wouldn't do something like this to you, so it must be something unexpected and important.
You chase away all the negative things you're thinking and think about Cregan saying he's going to the pub anyway. You know that right there he'll give you an explanation and make it up to you, you're pretty sure.
So you wait for the time you agreed to show up at the pub with Sara, all the time still hoping to hear something from Aemond, anything. But nothing.
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Finally he arrives.
His arrival completely steals your attention. You watch as he enters the pub with a completely disinterested and... resigned look on his face. As if he doesn't really want to be here.
This gets your attention even more but in front of the others, you hide it and don't immediately approach him, as if you haven't been waiting for him all this time.
Jason and Cregan literally rush towards him, while you sit there talking to Sara and your other classmates continue to talk and drink.
Sara is talking but you're not really listening to her, as out of the corner of your eye you watch him, talking to the guys with a tense posture and a somewhat irritated look on his face.
And after a few minutes, the guys practically drag him over to the table where you are, cheering him on.
The three of them take a seat, he specifically in front of you and all he does is give you and Sara a slight nod of his head in greeting and... that's it.
And that's the point where you finally don't understand anything.
He hasn't even said happy birthday to you. Nor does he give you the signal to both speak privately. He doesn't even seem to have your numerous missed calls and messages you left him in mind.
What's wrong with him?
He's looking all around, until the moment comes when, of course, he takes his lighter and his cigarette and doesn't even glance at you. He doesn't join in the conversation either. He doesn't really do anything.
And you start looking for the perfect opportunity to approach him and ask him to explain himself.
And you think it finally comes when he gets up and says he's going to get a drink, heading with dispassionate movements towards the bar.
But the bar is in plain sight and your drink is still full. So you start taking quick sips to finish it without drawing attention to yourself. Still, you watch him and are more confused when you see him with his back to you typing on his phone, waiting for his drink.
There's no way he hasn't noticed the numerous messages you've left him.
You don't understand why he hasn't spoken to you all day and why he seems to be ignoring you. You just don't understand anything.
And just as you're about to get up to go with him, he returns with drink in hand and a seriousness in his eyes that you haven't seen for a long time. So you last a long time at the table, talking to the guys, waiting for the opportunity that keeps not coming as time goes by.
You also talk to your classmates at the other table and from time to time you watch him, if not all the time, wanting him to look back at you but nothing.
He seems distracted, serious and irritated. Everything about him you can see and notice.
When suddenly he stands up without a word and you watch intently as he heads for the restroom.
The perfect opportunity!
From the tables where everyone is sitting, they can't see the small hallway leading to the restrooms. So you let a few small seconds pass, act all normal and casual, and finally get up and tell Sara that you will go to the restroom and will be back in a moment.
You do everything normal, although you don't really do anything inside the restroom, except stand at the entrance and listen attentively for the moment when the men's restrooms door opens so you can go out and bump into him.
And that's what you do the moment you hear the door open, hoping it's him and not someone else.
And to your good fortune, it's him. And he watches you the instant your figure appears in front of him, both of you stopping your steps.
"Hey," you say a little uncertainly, looking at him slightly confused and with nervousness creeping over you.
And he speaks to you with the most disinterested and cold tone he has ever addressed you with. His gaze cold and distant.
"Hey."
This confuses you even more and you decide to get to the point directly, needing to know what's wrong with him.
"Are you okay?"
He frowns, as if your question is absurd.
"Yeah, why?"
"Well... I haven't heard from you all day. I called you many times and left you several messages, but you didn't get back to me."
Aemond raises an eyebrow, as if he doesn't understand what you're saying and starts pulling his phone out of his pocket, seemingly unconcerned.
"You did?"
"Yes," you say, feeling more lost than ever, "I wait for you."
"For what?"
You stare at him incredulously and with all the bewilderment in your gaze, parting your lips.
"For what?" you repeat, not understanding, "Yesterday you said you'd pick me up at six. You didn't tell me where we were going and so I kept calling and texting you but you never answered. You didn't even let me know you weren't coming," you say looking at him confused, "Something happened or... you forgot?"
The change in his gaze is subtle, but you can see it. Something inside him softens, watching you silently, with realization. And upon seeing your gaze, he averts his gaze full of resignation as he takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his face.
"Fuck," he mutters.
And you watch him the whole time, clearly waiting for an explanation.
"Sorry," he finally says, watching you and his voice deepens, "I forgot. I was busy."
You blink, watching him sadly and uncomprehendingly, frowning at him.
"You forgot?" you repeat in a mumble, shaking your head and shrugging.
"It wasn't intentional," he tells you in a more serious tone, "I was busy and I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you later, okay?"
But something in his words doesn't convince you, and you continue to stare at him with that look that begs for deeper answers.
"But why would you forget? Where were you?"
"I already told you I was busy."
"Yes but you were the one who told me that—
"I know," he cuts you off sharply, "And I forgot because, for the fourth time, I was busy. Now stop making a big deal out of it and stop whining like a little girl."
Pain flashes across your face as you take a step back, bewildered and surprised.
He has never spoken to you this way before. Nor has he ever behaved with you the way he is behaving now. You just don't understand. But then... again that thought comes to your mind as you watch him with your parted lips.
The realization comes and hits you to make you see the reality. And you watch it sadder and more confused than before.
"You don't even know what today is? Did you forget too?" you ask him with your voice cracking in disappointment and disbelief, "I-I... I just... I just wanted to know if you were okay and where you were. And I don't think it's fair that—
"Look," he says, interrupting you with a coldness and a look full of annoyance, "Just because we slept together doesn't mean you're my girlfriend Y/N, because you're not. Let's make it fucking clear to you once and for all and stop thinking you have the right to demand explanations from me that I don't have to give you. You're just a convenient fuck and that's all, do you understand?"
His words fall like a weight on your chest and everything around you seems to stop. Your breath catches and your throat closes as you stand there, not knowing what to do and unable to believe what you just heard.
You can't believe he, he, said that.
Not the Aemond who looked at you with that intensity that seemed to promise more, who always found a way to make you feel special, even if it was in the privacy of bed or in the shadows of your moments together.
But here he is, looking at you coldly and honestly, also with some annoyance, as if you were just another problem he doesn't need to solve, but to get rid of. And really meaning every word he says.
You don't say anything. You just can't. The lump in your throat makes it impossible for you to speak and tears burn in your eyes, threatening to fall.
You try to stand firm, but every second that passes is a struggle not to break down in front of him. When then, you hear Sara's voice.
"There you are!"
She exclaims, approaching with a huge smile.
"What are you doing? We're waiting for you. It's time to sing happy birthday."
You don't see it but the confusion in Aemond's eye appears when Sara mentions the word birthday.
And you nod, biting the inside of your cheek, instantly pretending that everything is perfectly fine and you weren't heartbroken just a few seconds ago.
You swallow hard, controlling yourself.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go."
She takes your arm and leads you along with her towards the table with the candle-decorated cake that all your friends together have bought for you.
Sara also makes sure to place your gifts around for pictures while you take a seat in the middle in full view of everyone and continue to hold your ground.
Aemond eventually approaches the table as well, you feel his closeness without even looking him, at the same time as everyone starts singing for you.
The room is filled with laughter and voices, with the hubbub of your friends singing a rousing and somewhat off-key version of 'happy birthday'. Sara is at your side, smiling radiantly, as the others raise their glasses, animated and happy.
And you... you smile too.
A wide, almost perfect smile that seems to fit the scene. But inside, you feel how every second that passes is like a knife pressing against your heart. An uncomfortable knot forms in your chest as you struggle to keep your composure.
Don't cry. Don't cry now.
You repeat yourself over and over, forcing yourself to keep up the facade. You know your friends are here for you, that they really want to see you happy, but all you can think about are Aemond's words and how he reduced you to something insignificant.
Your hands are tense, clenching the edges of the table as if that will keep you on your feet.
Your jaw aches from pretending so much, from holding back the tears that burn in your eyes. But, fortunately, you're doing a good job and no one notices.
However, you don't know it either but Aemond does.
He has come close enough to see your face. And although at first glance you look radiant, he knows you too well and something in your smile, in your eyes, tells him the truth and that smile is not real.
You don't see it, but you feel his gaze on you, so intense. As he purses his lips and continues to watch the scene, remorse hitting him with a force he didn't expect.
The last chords of the song echo as everyone applauds, cheering and encouraging you to blow out the candles. You take a breath, blinking rapidly to clear any sign of your emotions.
"Go on, make a wish, birthday girl," Sara tells you excitedly.
You lean into the cake, closing your eyes.
Your mind, treacherously, can't help but return to Aemond's words, again feeling the urge to cry. And yet, you make an effort to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, at least for now.
And finally, you blow out the candles.
Applause fills the space again, and you smile as everyone begins to surround you, offering hugs and warm words. When your gaze inevitably meets his.
He's still there, standing a little apart, watching you with a mixture of guilt and something else you can't quite decipher. He doesn't even try to come closer and you're grateful for that, because it's the smartest thing he can do now.
You look away from him and continue to thank them, doing the best thing you know how to do: pretend.
You laugh lightly at a comment from Sara, accept another hug, and even allow someone to smear a bit of frosting from the cake on your nose.
It all seems so normal, so perfect, but you know it's not.
Aemond is still there, motionless, watching you. And even though you try to ignore him, you can feel his gaze burning into you. He knows he has crossed a boundary tonight. He knows he's hurt you and you're like this because of him.
"Happy birthday, Y/N."
One of your classmates says to you as he hugs you. Then someone else hugs you and says the same thing, then another person and another.
But the voice you most longed to hear saying those words to you is absent and the emptiness it leaves weighs heavier than you'd like to admit.
But one thing is guaranteed and that is that you're fucking done.
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After your birthday celebration, you went home earlier than you normally would have stayed to celebrate. But you just couldn't pretend anymore.
Aemond is the one who always takes people who live near him with him in his car. But this time it was Sara who did you the favor after telling her that you appreciated everyone's great gesture for celebrating your day but you weren't feeling well.
You received a couple of texts from him during the ride. Messages you decided not to read or you would end up crying with Sara in her car. So you stood your ground and made a promise to yourself that you wouldn't cry for him once you got to your dorm.
Obviously, you failed.
As soon as you finished taking off your clothes to put on your pajamas and started removing your makeup, inevitably the first tears started to fall. And then, you were a complete mess.
You weren't helped by the fact that his texts kept coming. And you had an idea what they were saying, so the very pain and bitterness deep inside you made you strong enough to not read anything, turn off your phone and go to bed to sleep.
But clearly nothing ended there.
You expected that he would later try to talk to you, no matter what.
So you did what you had never done before when it was about him and what he sometimes did when it was about you; you sent him straight to voicemail and didn't respond to any of his texts for days.
Y/N, please.
I didn't fucking mean it.
I'm sorry.
Can I talk to you?
Call me as soon as you can.
I know you're mad at me but I needed to talk to you, please.
That and more similar texts is what you've been getting these past few days. Days in which you have fortunately managed to avoid him on campus. And not just him, your other friends too or else he'll intercept you with them and you won't have a subtle escape.
And you don't want that.
You don't want to be weak enough in front of him to listen to his justifications and forgive him so easily. What he did to you, what he said to you… is not worthy of forgiveness.
You never realized before how insignificant you are to him and how he truly sees you. You are not even a little bit special than you considered him to you.
But that what happened, it broke your heart but it has also opened your eyes. You know you won't be able to hide forever. You also know that eventually meeting Aemond either alone or with people would be inevitable.
Besides, your friends were already starting to notice it weird that they didn't see you around, so you meet up with them in the usual campus gardens and act completely normal.
When Aemond also joins shortly after.
Everyone greets him as normal when he arrives and he greets them back with his usual nonchalant and serious attitude. However, you don't greet him. You don't even look at him.
You take the opportunity to do one of your homework right there, participating in the conversation from time to time but without being involved, just accompanying them and nothing more.
He takes a seat in front of you, where you instantly feel his piercing, burning gaze. You feel him silently begging you to look at him, to give him a chance to talk, to not ignore him anymore. But that's what you do, you ignore him.
“And how are your vacation plans going?” asks Cregan.
Inevitably, you tense up at the question. And the memories come back.
“Come with me.”
“Where to?”
“To Dragonstone.”
You press your lips together and more purposefully pretend to be completely immersed in your homework, when the truth is you hear the entire conversation.
“Where are you going?” he asks Jason.
“Sunspear, with my whole family.”
“And you?”
“I'm going home, Winterfell,” Sara replies.
“Winterfell?” repeats Cregan confused, “ You didn't say you were going to the beach?”
“Nope. I'll relax in the cabins with hot tubs,” she says with a smug grin, “How about you?”
“I'll go to the beach, definitely. I'm thinking Runestone.”
They go on to talk about their plans, places and so on. When they ask Aemond and you particularly pay more attention to that.
“You haven't changed your plans? You're going to Dragonstone?”
And his quiet, soft, nonchalant voice is not long in coming.
“Yes.”
And you continue to pretend. Pretending that you're not listening, that it's not a big deal, and that you secretly didn't have the same plan to go with him. And you're so immersed in it, you didn't think about the fact that eventually you'd also be asked the same question.
“What about you, Y/N? You said you had plans too.”
Shit.
You try to look like the question hasn't caught you off guard. And you quickly compose yourself. You raise your gaze to them, all but him, and speak with a nonchalant attitude and tone.
“Actually… no,” you place a soft smile, ”I'm going to stay here.”
“Oh really?”
“And why is that?”
Everyone looks at you in surprise and bewilderment. But, specifically, a burning, piercing eye watches you with more intensity than before and with a annoyance you can feel through your skin. Betrayal and pain, even. And honestly, it bothers you, too.
What was he expecting after what happened?
You try not to let it affect you, pretend he's not even here. And you deliberately ignore him.
“Maybe I'll visit my mom for a week or two,” you explain calmly, “But I'll stay most of the time here. And that's okay. It's no big deal.”
The guys give you their opinion and invite you to spend the vacations with them, somehow not wanting to leave you behind. But you turn them down politely, thanking them for their concern and saying that what you want is some time to yourself. And they understand.
And then, Aegon appears.
His entrance is, as always, loud and carefree. He wears a wide grin and a mocking twinkle in his eye as he greets everyone.
“Ah, look at this boring group alone,” he says, plopping his body down next to you on the grass.
Everyone waves at him, even you.
“What are you guys talking about?”
“The vacations.”
“Oh yeah, I can't wait. I need a break from all this,” he says as he lets out an exaggerated sigh and everyone in the group watches him with raised eyebrows.
“You? A break?” Sara asks him.
“Sure,” he shrugs, ”I'm a student too.”
“You've been drinking and going to parties every day,” Jason tells him amused, “What break are you talking about exactly?”
Everyone in the group laughs, even you, except him.
Aegon tries to justify himself, but even he knows he's a mess. When suddenly, his gaze fixes on you, raising an eyebrow and placing a smirk as if something has suddenly crossed his mind.
“Hey, Y/N,” he nudges you lightly with his shoulder, ”it was your birthday, right?”
You bite the inside of your cheek and nod with a small smile, trying to keep your composure.
“Why didn't you invite me?” he asks, feigning indignation.
Cregan scoffs.
“I invited you, you idiot.”
“Oh, right, right,” Aegon replies with a carefree laugh, ”I'm sorry I didn't go. I had another little party. Aemond was there too, wasn't he, little brother?”
Aemond's silence is immediate and deafening. He says nothing, and that makes the atmosphere suddenly heavy, for you.
And something inside you twists. And you look down at your notebook, trying to control your emotions and everything you're thinking. But you can't.
A party. He was at a party, on your birthday.
“And how was that party?” asks Cregan.
“Oh, fun, as always,” Aegon replies with a light tone. “They were our childhood friends, the Baratheons, the Tyrells, the Martells, and the Lannisters.”
Your heart stops for an instant.
Lannister.
That last name weighs on your mind like a rock.
“Yeah, it was really fun,” Aegon continues with a smile, “Even Aemond had a good time.”
The sound of his scandalous laughter fills the air, but is suddenly interrupted by Aemond's cold, cutting voice.
“Shut the fuck up.”
The elder only shrugs with a smirk and raises both hands in surrender.
“Oh, fucking spare me. You know how it is with him,” he says while at the same time starting to get up, ”First he's fine and then suddenly he turns into fucking Maleficent, like at that party.”
He waves a lazy goodbye as the guys wave goodbye to him. And you get caught up in his words.
Even Aemond had a good time.
Now you understand. He forgot your birthday because he was with them, with Cerelle.
A pang of pain runs through your chest at the thought of what that implies, of what probably happened between the two of them.
And whatever it was, it didn't end well, because afterwards he went to the pub and he was so distant, so quiet, so cold and so upset that that's why he said those ugly words to you and treated you the way he treated you.
Otherwise, he would have stayed with her and you wouldn't have seen him on your birthday.
Still, the betrayal in your chest is palpable and growing bigger. He still showed up, as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't forgotten you on your fucking birthday.
You press your lips together, trying to hold back the tears. You won't give him the pleasure of seeing you break. Not now, not here. Least of all when you feel his gaze on you, his gaze intent, fixed and more insistently on you now that you know.
With a new bitterness settling in your chest, you refuse to give him what he seeks. You keep your eyes anywhere but on him, resisting the storm of emotions that threatens to overflow inside you.
A few long minutes pass with the guys making any topic of conversation and that stare starts to bother you more and more, so you decide you've had enough and start putting away all your books and notebooks.
“I have to go now. I can't be late for my next class,” you let them know as you get up with all your stuff, ”I'll see you guys later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Sure.”
“See ya.”
You settle your backpack on your shoulder and with your phone in hand, you start walking away from them towards your corresponding building.
And as you walk away, a notification comes to your phone, followed by another. You stare at the screen and your breath catches for a moment, reading the texts, from him.
Are you fucking serious?
How long are you going to keep this shit up?
You scoff, shaking your head slightly. You don't even open the chat to let him know you've read it. And in fact, with a bitter look on your face and a new hurt feeling, you block him.
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The first week of vacation, you went to visit your Mom in Highgarden.
It wasn't a difficult decision because you knew a few days away from Kings Landing would do you good. And being with your Mom and younger brothers you knew it would be just enough to keep you busy and spend time with all of them.
Sara sent you pictures and videos of her time in the mountains of Winterfell, enjoying big cozy cabins and fancy hot tubs.
For a moment you regretted turning down her invitation, but as you laughed and played with your brothers, you were happy to be with them after so many months without seeing them.
You also sent him pictures of your home, the lake in the garden, flowers and the big woods, as well as selfies of you and your brothers. Through the group chat, Cregan and Jason also sent pictures of their vacations, both of them at the beach and tanning.
One thing you noticed, inevitably, was the absence of Aemond.
He usually doesn't send messages or pictures of what he's doing. But you assumed he would when he was in Dragonstone, maybe even a picture or two. But nothing. Complete silence. Just like you.
You blocked him from social media too. He has no way of knowing what you're doing and where, just as you have no way of knowing about him. And it was a kind of relief you hadn't experienced about him before. It was good to breathe and not be on the lookout to recognize red hair near him.
And the more it made you realize how much better off you are without getting involved with him.
In fact, you stayed home for more than two weeks. You couldn't help it after your brothers asked you to stay with them longer. Until you finally let Sara know you were going back to Kings Landing the next day.
It wasn't a hard goodbye, but your Mom and brothers were sad. You promised to come back, like you do every year on the next vacation. And finally you get on that plane.
It's not a long trip, thankfully. And when you land, surprisingly it's raining. The weather is cloudy, cold and perfect for welcoming you in to watch movies curled up in your bed.
So you order an Uber and soon you're on your way to your residence, letting Sara know of your movements at all times, just as she keeps bragging to you about her days in those comfy cabins.
As you arrive, the rain is still pouring down and you run towards the doors with your suitcase in one hand and the other protecting your head, even though you are already partially wet.
You enter the building, shaking off the water, and climb to the second floor. With your keys already in hand, you start thinking about what you're going to have for dinner and what movie will be the first of your marathon.
But then, you notice something.
Or rather, someone.
In front of your door, sitting on the floor with his head slightly tilted down, there is someone. Surprise forces you to slow your steps and your breathing quickens slightly as you recognize him, even before he looks up.
Aemond.
He turns his head towards you and his one visible eye meets yours. His expression is a strange mix between seriousness and something else… something softer, more vulnerable.
His lips are pressed together and the raindrops that surely reached him glisten on the ends of his hair. For a moment, you stand frozen in the hallway, not knowing what to say or do, with the sound of the rain out there filling the silence between the two of you.
You don't know exactly how long it takes, that you swallow hard and finally speak, taking a couple of cautious steps towards him.
“Aemond?”
He doesn't say anything. He makes what appears to be a defeated gesture and rises from the ground, letting you see his profile straight ahead. He has the same look as before, with his hoddie's cap pulled up over his hair and he leans against the hallway wall behind him, looking at you and nothing else.
You shake your head, not understanding.
“What are you doing here?”
You ask him in surprise and confusion. And inevitably, seeing his state, you shouldn't but begin to worry about him. Has something bad happened to him?
“You didn't go to Dragonstone?” you ask him later as you remember, feeling more confused than before.
What is he doing here instead of enjoying his vacation at his family's huge, luxurious beachside mansion?
And he finally speaks in his low, soft tone.
“No.”
You frown, only with his answer creating more questions in your mind.
“And what are you doing here? How did you know I was coming back today?”
“I asked Sara.”
You part your lips, confused.
“Why would she tell you that?”
“You blocked me from everywhere, Y/N,” he tells you in a low, obvious tone, as if he had no choice.
Confusion and anger slowly begins to creep up on you. But you know you can't be upset with Sara, not with her. None of the boys know what you had with Aemond, they didn't even suspect it then and they certainly won't now.
Surely she saw it as a casual question, something insignificant, as if he had asked her about anyone else. So you can't be bothered. However, you begin to feel the awkwardness, as well as the slight sense of betrayal in your chest. And the bitterness.
“You haven't told me what you're doing here.”
“I need to talk to you,” he says, taking a step toward you.
“About what?” you ask him instantly, confused and with a defensive tone, clearly annoyed.
Everything you have done regarding him, blocking him, not speaking to him anymore and walking away, is more than enough to make him understand that you no longer want to have anything to do with him.
And you know he understands that, so why is his need to keep doing this? Asking for you and looking for you?
You are sick of this situation.
And Aemond, noticing this, your look, which you've never given him before, before your birthday, is not something he's used to. Neither is your tone of voice and the distance you keep from him, when before you always wanted to be near him, almost all the time.
He feels more guilty and like an idiot than ever.
He lowers his gaze, trying to find a way not to keep fucking this up, to be able to talk to you, to let him into your life again. Then, just like he used to be with you when it was just the two of you, he drops his strong walls and for the first time, he comes across in the most honest and sincere way to you.
“I miss you.”
Your body immediately tenses as you hear those two words come out of his mouth. His voice, lower and laden with a sincerity you didn't expect, cuts your breath for a moment.
Your first impulse is to want to laugh, not out of amusement, but as a bitter, incredulous reaction.
And without saying anything, you watch him seriously, waiting for him to say something else, something that would make sense of his presence here, in the rain, in front of your door. But he doesn't.
He just watches you, his shoulders slightly down, and that vulnerability that he rarely lets show in him.
And seeing that you don't react, that you're still watching him even in that way, in that way he's not used to, when before it was a tender and loving look, now there's none of that… he hates it.
So he hurries to speak again, to explain himself, to make you understand.
“I know I fucked up. I didn't mean to tell you all that on your birthday. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry. I was an idiot,” he says, ”But I miss you and that's why I'm here.”
You shake your head slightly, watching him earnestly and attentively, while at the same time folding your arms, in an attempt to protect yourself from the wave of emotions that threatens to attack you.
He looks at you pleadingly and you look at him serious, disinterested, with the distance marked and the bitterness still inside you.
“That's it?”
His face contracts slightly in frustration.
“Y/N—
“If that's all, you can go,” you interrupt him, quickly pushing past him with your suitcase in hand and trying to get into your dorm room as fast as you can to leave him behind.
But you knew you wouldn't make it.
His hand immediately takes you gently but firmly by your arm, stopping you and turning you back to him so he can see your face and speak to you.
“No, that's not all,” he tells you instantly, “I-I… I want things to go back to the way they used to be.”
“And how were things between the two of you before exactly?” you inquire, taking a decisive step toward him, “You want to go back to the whole ‘no strings attached’ thing? To seeing each other in secret and me still just being your convenient fuck and nothing else? That's what you want?”
Your tone is a poison dart, and you see him recoil, as if your every word burns him. His jaw tenses, but he doesn't say anything right away.
“Say it, “you challenge him, taking a step closer, your eyes boring into his, ”Tell me it wasn't just that. Tell me it wasn't just… that I wasn't just—
Your voice cracks, and you hate that it does. Because even though you're upset, even though you want to stay strong, it's too much. He still affects you even more intensely than he did before.
He looks at you, his lips parted, as the rain continues to fall outside.
“That's what I thought,” you whisper at last, releasing yourself from his grip.
You hold the keys more firmly in your hand, avoiding shaking, to insert it into the lock of your door. But he, not wanting it to end like this, stops you.
“You never said anything. You seemed fine with all of it. Now why the sudden change?”
You close your eyes tightly, no longer able to hold back the tears in your eyes. The bitterness, the sadness, the pain, the betrayal, everything stirs inside you. It hurts you and there seems to be no end to it, because again you turn to face him.
And seeing the tears threatening to run down your cheeks, something in his gaze softens, not expecting to see you like this.
“Are you fucking serious?” you say to him almost in a whisper in a shaky, bitter voice, “After what you did, what you said, how do you expect me to be okay to keep being with you?”
He lets out a long breath.
“Y/N… you weren't just that. You never were. And I… I was upset that day. And I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I know that. But I promise you weren't just that to me.”
You shake your head, not believing his words for a second. Not anymore.
“The thing here is, your words don't mean anything to me anymore.”
He takes a step toward you.
“I didn't mean to… I didn't think that—
“That's the problem, Aemond, you never think of anyone but yourself,” you interrupt him in a harsh, annoyed voice, ”Everything is always about what you want, what's convenient for you.”
He shakes his head.
“That's not true—
“Of course it is,” you take a shaky breath and your words coming out softer, but no less sharp, “ And even now, after all, you don't understand how much you meant to me. Because I didn't matter to you, ever.”
No matter how many times he tells you that it was not so, you will not believe him, because he did not necessarily prove to you before something that can prove his words. There are no facts, there is nothing.
And that same bitterness, makes you finally be brave, speak up, get it off your chest. So you don't let him talk so you can get it over with once and for all.
“You know what happened?” you ask, ”I got feelings. That's what happened.”
And there it is. You've said it.
Those words you never said long ago so as not to scare him away from you, how you knew it would happen, without putting you and what you felt first. But still, without having said it before, you ended up with a broken heart.
The weight of your words falls between the two of you like an invisible wall, so palpable you can almost touch it. Aemond seems to freeze, his eyes anchored on yours.
“That's why things can't go back to the way they were, because, of course, that's not what you want. What you want is an idiot who is at your beck and call whenever and however you want her to be.”
Your words hit him unexpectedly.
And the change in his expression is immediate. All the vulnerability he had shown disappears from his face.
And once again you are in front of the Aemond everyone knows; the cold, distant, serious and inexpressive Aemond. His gaze, once pleading and remorseful, becomes hard and distant.
His jaw visibly tenses and you notice how his shoulders square, adopting that defensive posture you know so well.
“Don't say that,” his voice comes out low, strained. “It wasn't like that.”
“It wasn't?” you inquire, pursing your lips, ”You said I was just a convenient fuck. I'm sure you can find someone else, then.”
Every word comes like poison from your lips, and though it pains you to say them, you know they're true. You see it in the way his face contorts slightly, as if your words have hit him where it hurts the most.
But he maintains that typical attitude of his, that mask of indifference he has perfected over the years.
You wait for him to contradict you, to deny it, to try to justify it. But nothing. He says nothing. He just stands there, staring at you seriously, jaw clenched and looking like he's having an internal fight, struggling against his thoughts, not knowing what to do or what to say.
And you again press your lips together, having enough of this.
”Get out.”
And he finally reacts, lowering his gaze and letting out a deep sigh, pursing his lips and looking at you again with a serious look.
“I can't give you what you want, Y/N.”
“But you do want me to give you what you want,” you say firmly and curtly, “Because Cerelle didn't, right?”
The words are out of your mouth before you can think about what you're going to say. But there it is, you've said it too.
His lips part, his whole body tenses, watching you in surprise and mild confusion, definitely not expecting that from you. And there, you leave him speechless, trying to understand how it is that you know about her.
And although for a second you look unsure about what you've said and regretful, you also decide that you're not going to keep quiet about it any longer. And you continue, with bitterness in your eyes and in your tone of voice.
“You forgot my birthday, because of her,” you say, each word like a dagger, ”You were late because you were with her.”
“How do you know about her?” he asks you instantly, his voice like ice.
You swallow hard softly, holding his gaze despite the pain it causes you.
Of course he would ask you that.
“I noticed something between you, when she went to the same parties as us,” you reply, “The way you looked at her, how your mood changed when she appeared and when you both disappeared,” you say with those moments replaying in your mind, still so present, “And then Aegon, drunk as usual, told me a few things.”
“What did he tell you?” he again asks you instantly, serious and thoughtful.
The rigidity in his body, the tension, is more evident now, as is the vulnerability and sadness in you as you talk about her. And you avert your gaze, with every word coming out of your mouth aching, but needing to say it all.
“That the two of you had a thing. That you're in love with her, but she's not in love with you.”
The muscle in his jaw tenses so tight you fear he'll break his teeth, his breathing grows heavier, and for a moment, you see a flash of raw pain in his eyes before the mask of coldness falls back into place.
“The worst part is that I've known that for a while now,” you continue, your voice cracking slightly despite your best efforts, ”I kept hoping I meant more to you than just your way of filling that void.”
For a moment, your mask of coldness cracks. But only for a moment. And you see a glimmer, of something deeper in her gaze. Guilt? Remorse?
But just as it appears, it vanishes. You notice how his hands open and close at his sides, a nervous gesture he rarely displays. His gaze again seems to search for something on the floor, before meeting your gaze again.
And when he finally speaks, his voice comes out lower, more controlled, as if each word is carefully measured.
“That was never my intention.”
It's almost as if the words hurt as they come out, as if a part of him wants to say more but doesn't know how. And you scoff, incredulous.
“Sure, you didn't mean to treat me as your second option and break my heart with every cold, disinterested attitude every time she came back to break yours?”
The silence that follows is heavy, laden with all the unsaid things between you.
“I can't give you what you want,” he repeats resignedly, watching you seriously.
“Then leave.”
“Y/N—
“No,” you interrupt him instantly, stepping back instinctively, ”I'm done here. I'm done with you. So leave. Don't come looking for me, ever again, do you understand? I don't want anything to do with you anymore.”
You are clear in your words. You're not playing games. You're not hesitating for a second. And you're being terribly honest.
Something snaps inside you, but there's also something starting to break free. There's no turning back now and you both know it, because this time, finally, you chose to put yourself first.
So you walk into your dorm room, while he stands in the middle of the hallway, not saying or doing anything else. And then you close the door.
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AEMOND POV
There is something off… in the way you are no longer around.
It shows in the small details, the way you slowly disappeared from his life. In the way a message with your name no longer appears on his phone, nor a call.
In the way he was unconsciously so used to visiting you in your dorm or your going to his apartment. The way you used to fall asleep next to him in his big bed. The way you would make breakfast for the two of you before you went to class.
The way you both exchanged subtle glances when you were in a group with the guys or at parties. The way in secret encounters, stolen kisses in the shadows and passionate moments in his bedroom.
But there was also the way you always waited for him.
That's a thought that hits him with the force of a delayed revelation, something his own selfishness kept him from seeing before.
When he would ignore your texts or calls, when he wouldn't meet you, when he would cancel plans at the last minute, when he would disappear for days and barely be around, for her… for Cerelle.
Even on his bad days, after every fight with her, he would come back and there you were, without protest or asking for explanations. And then it was back to the usual routine; all secret. And casual.
He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a long breath. He looks at the clock on his nightstand; midnight. He can't sleep. His mind keeps him awake, because all he can think about, is you.
Since the day of your birthday, specifically, you've tormented his mind. Ever since he knew he fucked up, ever since you stopped answering his texts, calls, to ignoring him even when he was in front of you and leaving him behind, you haven't stopped rolling around in his mind.
He was supposed to be right now in Dragonstone, enjoying his vacation, like everyone else before the new semester crushes him with new difficulties, responsibilities and pressures.
But he decided not to go, because he couldn't. Because you were supposed to go with him.
He doesn't even want to admit how much that idea excited him. The two of you had made the plan, you were supposed to go with him. But when you canceled, without even telling him directly, it disappointed him in a way he didn't expect.
But he doesn't blame you. He can't. Not after what he did.
He's too proud though, too stubborn to accept it ending like this. He refuses to let you go, even when you've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing more to do with him. He can't help but seek you out, pursue you, unaware of the damage he continues to cause.
That's why he went looking for you. But he had already lost you, for a while now.
And he misses you. By the Gods, how he misses you.
He took you for granted, thinking you would always be there for him, even with his bad moods and his habit of taking it out on others, like he did on your birthday.
A growl of frustration escapes his throat as he brings a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes tightly.
The memory of that day haunts him like a curse. Not only did he ruin everything between you two, but he did it on your birthday. Your damn birthday that he forgot.
Guilt and regret flood him inside as he lies in his bed. And every memory, every mental image is a reminder of what he has lost because of his own stupidity.
How could he have been so blind? So selfish?
The silence of the night is deafening, interrupted only by the soft ticking of the clock and his own breathing. His eyes burn with exhaustion, but sleep refuses to take him.
Not when your voice echoes in his mind, repeating those words, “I kept waiting to mean more to you than just your way of filling that void.”
Suddenly, the silence is broken by the ringing of his phone. His heart violently flips in his chest, and for a moment, he thinks it might be you. His hands move with almost desperate speed to reach for his phone.
But hope dies quickly when he sees the name on the screen; Cerelle.
He stands completely still, watching the screen light up again and again with her call. And for the first time, something changes inside him. Instead of the usual anxious fluttering in his stomach when he sees her name, instead of that compulsive need to answer immediately, he feels… nothing.
Or maybe not nothing. He feels tiredness. A deep, overwhelming tiredness.
He knows exactly why she's calling. He can picture it perfectly, another fight with Aegon, tears in her voice, needing someone to listen to her, to comfort her. Needing him, not because she really wants him, but because it's convenient.
Because she knows he is always there, waiting like an idiot, ready to pick up the pieces his brother leaves behind.
“It wasn't your intention to treat me like your second choice? To break my heart with every cold, disinterested attitude every time she came back to break yours?”
The irony is not lost on him, he did to you exactly what Cerelle does to him. He used you to fill a void, to not feel so alone, so unloved.
The phone stops ringing, only to start again almost immediately. This time, however, he feels no hesitation. With a decisive move, he turns it off completely, cutting off the call and any chance of further messages.
He drops back onto the bed, his mind inevitably drifting back to you. It's as if he can't help himself, as if all his thoughts have a direct path to your memory.
He sees your face with a clarity that hurts him, the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed, how your nose crinkled slightly when something bothered you, the softness of your cheeks when you blushed, the way your hair fell over your face when you concentrated on something.
Your lips… the way they curved into a smile, how they felt against his, the taste of your kisses. Every detail of you is burned into his memory.
The silence of the night seems to taunt him, reminding him of all the times he could have done things differently, all the opportunities he had to value you as you deserved and wasted thinking of someone else.
He lost you because of his own stupidity, because of his inability to see what was in front of him until it was no longer there. For chasing an illusion with Cerelle while he had something real with you.
And now, it's too late.
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thank you for reading!
407 notes · View notes
yaniluvs · 2 days ago
Text
a song , that sounds like you
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[ 한 ] ✷ ‎. . sleepover with your best friend, just like before. except that . . it isn't ?
۫ 𖨂 𓈒 𝑏sf!han ₊ ‎ ‎ 𝑓em!reader ˙ . ꒷ g. fluff , humour , crack , best friends to lovers , uni au , skz ensemble . 71OOw. ⎯⎯⎯ LiBRARY ⟢ cw. kisses , jokes , intimacy . ┆ 💌 ⋮ requested drabble .ᐟ ֹ ₊
yani's note 𑁍ࠬܓ THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ~I.5K WORDS. yani, dont over-write and turn every simple thing into a longfic challenge: go-> status: failed. THATS WHY I TOOK SO LONG. but anyways.... i read this like a gazillion times and im very slightly unhappy about it????? idk. but i got sick of it at some point so i didnt rly proofread for the final time. soooo finally another jisung fic lol >< posted way too much abt seungmo.. not that im complaining hehe. tribute to my beloved permed-jisung and pre-shaved jisung🙏 you're missed plenty. enjoy reading, thanks to anon for the req. <3 comments, likes, req./asks and reblogs are always appreciated !! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading, love <3
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the night felt like any other. it was nothing new. nothing unusual.
jisung had crashed at y/n’s dorm more times than he could count, so many that they’d stopped calling it a "sleepover" years ago. it was just… what they did.
tonight was no different—except maybe it was.
jisung flopped onto her bed dramatically, limbs splayed out like a starfish. "i'm dying."
y/n, arms crossed, raised an unimpressed brow. "you literally just walked in."
"my point." he turned his head toward her, grinning wide, dimples pressing into his cheeks. "the walk from my dorm to yours? brutal. my legs almost gave up. i nearly saw the light. i need some support here,"
"what you need is exercise, ji," she laughed, already walking past him toward the kitchen. "come on lazy ass, we’re cooking."
jisung groaned, rolling onto his stomach. "cooking? can’t we order food? delivery is, like, the peak of human civilization."
"you mean the peak of your laziness."
"same thing."
"you’re cooking today."
jisung immediately sat up. "i’m sorry, what?"
"you heard me."
"y/n, have you ever seen me successfully make anything that isn’t watered-down instant ramen or burnt eggs?"
"exactly why you need to learn." she shot him a knowing smile, opening the fridge. "come on, chef-nim, apron up."
jisung scoffed. "you act like i own an apron."
"you act like i don't have a spare." she tossed a black apron his way. he caught it with a dramatic sigh, slipping it over his hoodie. "this is humiliating."
y/n simply tied her own apron around her waist, moving swiftly around the kitchen. jisung, however, stood in the middle of it like he was lost in a foreign land.
"so," he said, rocking on his heels, "what are we making, masterchef?"
"some fried rice, with stir-fry for the sides."
"sounds safe enough. do i get a knife?" his eyes lightened up.
y/n turned to him, eyes full of doubt, hands on her hips. "do i look like i trust you with a knife?"
he clutched his chest. "ouch."
"jisung, the last time you touched a knife, you almost lost a finger."
"it was one time!"
"one time too many." she handed him a bowl instead. "crack the eggs."
"i can do that," he said confidently.
y/n watched as he picked up an egg, tapped it on the edge of the bowl—nothing. he hit it again. still intact.
"jisung."
"hold on, it's just being stubborn."
"you're literally supposed to—"
before she could finish, he smacked the egg with full force. it exploded in his hand, yolk dripping between his fingers. he blinked.
"…okay. that was aggressive."
y/n burst out laughing. "oh, good lord.."
"why are you laughing?! this is tragic!" he held up his hand dramatically, as if he'd just lost a battle.
she wiped away tears of laughter. "you’re such a disaster."
"and yet you still keep me around."
"i really question why, sometimes."
jisung wiggled his eyebrows. "because you love me."
"debatable."
"wow. you wound me."
she handed him another egg. "try again, but gently this time."
he pouted but followed her instructions. on the second try, he succeeded. barely. a little bit of shell fell into the bowl, but he picked it out quickly, flashing her a victorious grin.
"see? improvement."
y/n shook her head with a fond smile. "barely."
as she moved on to frying the rice, jisung leaned against the counter, watching her. the warm glow of the kitchen lights softened her features, and the way she effortlessly moved around—it was second nature to her.
"you're so good at this," he murmured absentmindedly.
she glanced up. "at what?"
"everything," he said simply.
her movements stilled for a second before she rolled her eyes, turning back to the pan. "corny."
"honest."
she pushed his forehead lightly with her fingers. "shut up and hand me the soy sauce."
jisung grinned, grabbing the bottle and sliding it over the counter toward her. "see? i am useful."
"debatable."
jisung gasped. "you really enjoy hurting me, huh?"
y/n only smiled as she stirred the rice.
they fell into a comfortable silence after that—jisung humming some random tune, y/n focusing on the food. it was normal. routine. nothing new.
except maybe it was.
because jisung found himself staring at her a little longer than usual.
and yn, for some reason, felt a little warmer than the stove’s heat should allow.
the aroma of warm rice, sizzling kimchi, and soy sauce had filled the small dorm, wrapping them in the kind of comfort that only home-cooked food could bring. y/n hummed softly as she scooped the steaming fried rice onto two plates, making sure to add an extra spoonful to her best friend's because she already knew he’d ask.
jisung, sprawled out on the floor like he had no bones in his body, watched her with a lazy grin. "you really know how to treat a man."
"you’re more of a babygirl, but okay," she replied without missing a beat, setting the plates down on the small coffee table in front of them.
"excuse me? i am very much a grown adult."
"sure," she snorted. "a grown adult who can't crack an egg."
jisung gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. "low blow."
yn only grinned as she grabbed the remote, flipping on the tv. they didn't even bother picking something to watch—just let some random show play in the background while she scrolled through a playlist on her phone.
and just like that, the room filled with their favorite songs.
the playlist hummed in the background, weaving through the warm, dimly lit dorm like a familiar embrace. soft indie melodies blended into old tracks from their high school days, each song a quiet echo of late-night car rides and whispered confessions. nestled between them were jisung’s own songs—songs he had written on restless nights, songs y/n had begged him to release, songs he pretended not to care about being in the playlist but secretly loved seeing there.
the air smelled of soy sauce and garlic. jisung sat cross-legged on the couch, his loose shirt and plaid pajama pants slightly wrinkled. his fluffy brown hair that he'd recently gotten permed, much to y/n's pleading, was tousled, curls falling over his forehead, casting soft shadows over his sleepy eyes. he scooped up a bite of fried rice, humming in approval as he chewed, blissfully unaware of the way y/n was watching him.
she sat on the floor, knees pulled to her chest, chin resting lazily against them, gaze fixed on him with a softness even she didn’t notice. he looked so at home, so effortlessly him, sitting there with his cheeks puffed out from the food she made, eyes drooping slightly from exhaustion. a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
he always ate with the enthusiasm of someone who hadn’t had a proper meal in days, shoveling food into his mouth like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
“you’re staring,” his voice came, teasing yet laced with fondness.
y/n blinked, heat creeping up her neck as she quickly looked away. “i am not.”
jisung grinned, swallowing another bite. “liar.”
but he didn’t press further. he only smirked to himself, going back to his food, pretending he didn’t notice the way she studied him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
what he wouldn’t admit—what he barely admitted to himself—was that he did the same thing.
when y/n wasn’t paying attention, lost in the flickering candlelight of their tiny dorm, jisung found himself staring. he always did. the glow of the fairy lights made her skin look softer, her features delicate and warm. her hair, slightly messy from their earlier chaos in the kitchen, framed her face in a way that made his heart ache.
she was wearing her pyjama set, and the sleeves were bunched up around her fists as she absentmindedly traced circles against the couch cushion, after a bite herself.
she was beautiful. in the quiet, in the soft spaces between their banter, in the way she existed in his world so effortlessly.
“now,” she called out suddenly, breaking him from his trance. “you’re staring.”
his breath caught in his throat, but he recovered quickly, flashing his usual cheeky grin. “i am not.”
“liar.”
their laughter mingled with the music, and for a moment, the weight of their hidden feelings melted into the warmth of the night.
jisung exhaled through his nose, shaking his head as he shoved another spoonful of rice into his mouth. he chewed slowly, eyes flickering between the half-empty plate and y/n, her expression unreadable except for the teasing glint in her gaze. his own voice filtered through the small dorm, warm and unfiltered, singing lyrics he once scribbled down at 2 a.m., never expecting them to be heard by anyone but himself.
he swallowed, running his tongue over his bottom lip before muttering, “you do this on purpose.”
y/n tilted her head, feigning confusion as she picked at her food. “do what?”
“this.” he gestured vaguely toward the speaker, his voice quieter now, almost sheepish. “make me listen to myself.”
she shrugged, stuffing another bite of rice into her mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world. “your music is good.”
jisung let out a small, breathy laugh, but there was something uncertain in the way his fingers tapped against the bowl. “you don’t have to lie to make me feel better, you know.”
y/n blinked, chopsticks pausing midair. “i’m not lying.”
“you say that.” he glanced at her, then away, focusing on a loose thread on his pajama pants. “but you’re my best friend. you’d tell me it’s good even if it wasn’t.”
she frowned, setting her chopsticks down with a soft clink against the ceramic. “sung..”
he didn’t respond, just stuffed another bite into his mouth, chewing like he was trying to make himself busy. y/n sighed, shifting so she could look at him properly. the glow of the fairy lights cast gentle shadows on his face, highlighting the quiet vulnerability in his eyes—the kind he tried so hard to hide.
“look,” she started, voice softer now. “i don’t put your songs in our playlists just because you’re my best friend. i put them there because they belong there.”
jisung stilled, fingers tightening around his spoon.
“you write music that makes people feel something. i know because i feel it. i always have.” she toyed with the hem of her hoodie—his hoodie. “and maybe it’s because i’ve seen you go through every stage of it. the late nights, the self-doubt, the way you talk about music like it’s the only thing that makes sense in your life sometimes.”
he swallowed thickly, staring at his plate like it held answers.
“i don’t just like your music, jisung. i believe in it. i believe in you.”
silence settled between them, thick and heavy, but not uncomfortable. jisung’s throat bobbed as he licked his lips, finally daring to meet her gaze.
something unreadable flickered in his eyes, something fragile and hesitant and real.
“…you always say things like that.” his voice was quiet, uncertain. “and i never know what to do with it.”
y/n smiled, small and knowing. “you don’t have to do anything. just don’t forget it.”
he stared at her for a moment longer, chest tightening with something he didn’t quite have the courage to name. then, exhaling softly, he looked away, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
“i won’t.”
they ate comfortably, stealing bites from each other's plates despite having the exact same food. it was normal, the way their chopsticks clinked against each other in midair, the way jisung would groan dramatically after every bite, acting as if he’d just tasted the best thing in the world.
"marry me," he said, mouth full.
y/n gave him a look. "chew first."
he swallowed, grinning. "okay, now will you marry me?"
"no."
jisung clutched his chest. "you are cruel, woman."
"you are an idiot, man."
"a lovable idiot," he corrected, shoving another spoonful into his mouth.
she rolled her eyes but didn't deny it.
a beat of silence passed between them, the kind that wasn't awkward but rather filled with something unspoken. jisung glanced at her between bites, again, watching the way the light from the tv flickered against her skin.
she looked… soft. comfortable. the same as always, but maybe not quite.
"so," y/n spoke suddenly, breaking him out of his thoughts. "how was your day?"
jisung blinked, needing a second to process the question. they spent most of their time together, but during classes, they went their separate ways. it was rare for them to actually talk about what happened when they weren't in the same place.
"uh," he started, stabbing his rice absentmindedly. "it was fine. boring. had a music composition lecture, but hyunjin fell asleep and snored loud enough for the whole class to hear."
y/n laughed. "no way."
"swear to god. professor park just stared at him for a solid minute before moving on."
"did no one wake him up?"
"i tried, but he swatted me away like a fly."
she shook her head, still laughing. "what else?"
jisung hesitated for a moment before answering, "i worked on a song between classes."
her expression softened. "the one you told me about?"
"yeah." he looked away, suddenly a little shy. "i, uh, actually finished the demo."
"jisung!" she smacked his arm lightly. "why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"i dunno," he muttered, playing with his chopsticks. "didn’t seem important."
"of course it’s important," she said firmly. "can i hear it?"
he met her eyes, something flickering behind his own, before he looked down again. "maybe later."
she didn't push, just nodded. "okay. your turn to ask."
he raised a brow. "ask what?"
"about my day, genius."
"oh. right." he leaned back, lazily twirling his chopsticks. "so, how was your day, my dear best friend whom i love and adore?"
she snorted. "it was fine. boring, mostly. but i had this duo project in business class."
jisung hummed in acknowledgment, taking another bite. "who’d you get stuck with?"
"a guy named sunwoo."
jisung froze mid-chew, his spoon hovering just inches from his lips. his brows furrowed for the briefest second before he blinked and forced himself to keep chewing, though suddenly, the fried rice didn’t taste as good anymore.
“i see..” he said after swallowing, voice casual. too casual. “never heard you mention him before.”
y/n shrugged, taking another bite. “yeah, we never really talked until today. he’s nice, though. smart, too. i was kinda worried i’d get stuck doing all the work, but he actually pulled his weight.”
jisung scoffed lightly, poking at his food. “that’s the bare minimum.”
she snorted. “true.”
silence stretched for a beat, the playlist shuffling to another song. jisung tapped his chopsticks against the edge of his bowl, trying to ignore the weird feeling curling in his stomach. it wasn’t a big deal. just a project partner. nothing to think about.
except—
“he was pretty talkative, too,” y/n continued, oblivious to the way jisung’s grip on his spoon tightened. “like, at first, it was just about the project, but then he started asking me random stuff. like, my favorite color, what i do in my free time, my favorite coffee order—”
jisung let out a short, almost incredulous laugh. “your coffee order? what, is he planning on getting you one next time?”
she blinked, considering. “i dunno, maybe. that’d be nice.”
jisung nearly choked on air. he coughed into his fist, shaking his head. “pfft. wow. sounds like he’s… really interested in your business skills.”
y/n laughed at that, nudging his leg with her foot. “oh, shut up. he was just being friendly.”
yeah, okay. sure.
he forced a grin, shoveling another bite of rice into his mouth like it would somehow get rid of the weird, nagging feeling inside him. “so, what else did he say?” he asked, tone still light, still playful. still pretending he didn’t care.
y/n hummed, thinking. “oh, he told me i have a really nice smile.”
jisung almost dropped his chopsticks.
“oh! and that i have pretty hands,” she added, wiggling her fingers in front of his face. “which is funny, ‘cause i don’t really get the whole hand thing, but—”
“he said what?” jisung cut in, voice cracking slightly.
she blinked up at him, confused. “...that i have pretty hands?”
jisung squinted at her like she was missing something obvious. “who compliments someone’s hands?”
“i don’t know! i mean, i guess they’re kinda nice…” she examined her own fingers, flexing them under the fairy lights. “they do a lot for me, you know? writing, playing, cooking—”
“okay, but still,” jisung interjected, trying not to sound too whiny. “that’s like—textbook flirting.”
y/n snorted. “no, it’s not.”
“yes, it is!” jisung threw his hands up. “first, he asks about your coffee order—classic move, by the way—then he calls your smile nice? and now your hands?” he pointed a dramatic chopstick at her. “that’s next-level, y/n. that’s, like, hand-holding agenda.”
she gave him a flat look. “i think you’re overreacting. personally i'd love making friends like that.” she laughed.
“no, you’re underreacting!” he groaned dramatically, flopping onto the couch, staring at the ceiling like it personally offended him. “i can’t believe this. my best friend is so oblivious.”
y/n just giggled, poking his knee. “oh, come on, ji. he was just being nice. and it’s not like i’m interested in him or anything.”
jisung perked up at that, a little too quickly. “you’re not?”
she shook her head, stuffing another bite of rice into her mouth. “nope.”
something unspoken settled in the air.
jisung let out a quiet breath, something inside him easing—but he still had an annoyed little pout on his lips. “still. he was flirting. you just don’t see it ‘cause you’re you.”
“hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it means,” he huffed, crossing his arms, “that you’re too cute for your own good, and guys like him are gonna keep trying to hit on you while you remain completely, utterly unaware.”
y/n blinked, caught off guard.
jisung realized what he said half a second too late. his ears turned pink.
“…anyway!” he cleared his throat, suddenly stuffing his mouth with rice. “this is good fried rice. really, really good.”
y/n just watched him, something unreadable in her gaze. a small, knowing smile tugged at her lips.
“dork,” she muttered under her breath.
and if jisung, in his flustered state, caught the way she was staring at him now—soft, fond, admiring—he didn’t say a word.
"sunwoo. what kind of dumb name is that?"
she laughed, shaking her head.
soon, the food disappeared slowly between them, the plates scraping softly as y/n absentmindedly pushed the last bits of rice around with her chopsticks. jisung, on the other hand, had long since finished and was now leaning back on his palms, his head tilted toward the ceiling, looking entirely too satisfied. he stretched with a deep sigh, his tee riding up slightly, revealing a sliver of skin before settling back down.
"i’m convinced you were a chef in a past life," he said, breaking the silence, his voice laced with a kind of sleepy contentment.
y/n smirked, still focused on her plate. "i’ll take that as a compliment."
"it is a compliment," he assured her, turning his head to face her. his cheek was slightly squished against his shoulder, making him look more like a sleepy puppy than a grown man. "i’m genuinely scared of what would happen to me if you weren’t around. i’d probably live off ramen and instant rice."
"you already do that when i’m not around. and still make it taste bad."
"exactly," he said, as if she had just proven his point. "my body is, like, seventy percent sodium at this point."
y/n rolled her eyes but couldn't help the small smile tugging at her lips. "that explains a lot, honestly."
jisung gasped dramatically. "are you saying i look like someone who eats too much sodium?"
"i’m saying your diet is concerning," she teased, finally setting her chopsticks down and leaning back as well. the food had settled warmly in her stomach, and the atmosphere felt hazy in the best way—soft, familiar, comfortable.
jisung groaned, letting his head fall back. "this is why i need you in my life. you balance out all my self-destructive tendencies."
y/n snorted, stretching out her legs. "i’m your best friend, not your dietitian."
"best friend and dietitian," he corrected lazily.
she hummed, letting the conversation drift into a natural lull. the tv played quietly in the background, an old sitcom neither of them was paying attention to, and their playlist continued to shuffle through songs they had both heard a thousand times before. outside, the city was alive, but in their small little bubble of a dorm, it felt like time had slowed down just for them.
jisung shifted, sitting up properly, and y/n could feel him staring before she even turned to look at him. "what?" she asked, raising a brow.
he hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before finally saying, "i want you to be in my song."
the words were simple, casual even, but they made something in y/n’s chest tighten. she blinked. "what?"
"my demo," jisung clarified, his voice softer now, more careful. "i want you to sing in it."
yn let out a short laugh, shaking her head. "jisung, you know i don’t do that."
"why not?" he tilted his head, brows furrowing slightly. "you’re literally so good. like, so good."
she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "it’s just a hobby for me, you know that."
"okay, but why just a hobby?" his voice had that familiar edge of insistence, the same one he used when he really, really wanted something. "you could do so much more with it."
she shrugged, eyes flickering to the tv even though she wasn’t really watching. "it’s not the same for me as it is for you," she said honestly. "music is your thing, jisung. you breathe this stuff. it’s not like that for me."
"but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it," he argued, leaning in slightly. "i love your voice, y/n. you know that."
she swallowed, feeling warmth crawl up her neck. he had told her that before—countless times, actually—but something about the way he said it now felt different, heavier. "it’s just not something i see myself doing seriously," she admitted, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.
jisung was quiet for a moment, his eyes studying her face carefully. then, with a small, teasing smile, he said, "okay. but what if it’s just for me?"
she looked at him, confused. "what do you mean?"
"i mean," he started, tapping his fingers against his knee absentmindedly, "forget about, like, doing music professionally or whatever. i just want you on this song. not because i think you should be an artist or anything—just because it’s us. i dunno. i feel like it’d sound better if you were in it."
y/n bit her lip, uncertain. she liked singing, she always had, but she never really thought about it beyond the occasional harmonizing with jisung when he played guitar, or the times she mindlessly hummed while cooking. it was never something she considered putting out there for other people to hear.
jisung, however, was looking at her with those big, expectant eyes, his wide smile softened at the edges. "just think about it," he said, nudging her knee with his. "no pressure. but i think it’d be cool. i mean, imagine—our voices together in a song? legendary."
yn laughed, shaking her head. "you’re ridiculous."
"i’m right," he corrected.
she sighed, resting her chin on her palm. "i don’t know, ji."
he pouted, but there was no real disappointment in his face—just patience, quiet and steady. "i’ll send you the demo," he said after a beat. "just listen to it. see if you like it."
she nodded slowly. "fine. i’ll listen."
jisung grinned, victorious. "that’s all i ask."
another silence stretched between them, this one softer, almost charged in a way y/n couldn’t quite explain. the tv droned on in the background, but neither of them was paying attention.
jisung shifted again, stretching his legs out next to hers, their knees knocking slightly. he exhaled, tilting his head back against the couch. "i like nights like this," he murmured, his voice quieter now, almost like he was talking to himself.
yn turned to look at him, watching the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones under the dim light. "like what?"
"just…chill." he cracked one eye open, looking at her. "you. me. food. music. no stress."
she smiled softly. "yeah. me too."
jisung hummed in acknowledgment, closing his eyes again. "we should do this more often."
y/n didn’t respond right away, letting the words settle between them. she thought about how much time they already spent together, how their days were filled with each other in some way or another.
and yet, something about the way he said it—like he wanted more, like he wasn’t just talking about casual hangouts but something deeper—made her stomach flutter in a way she didn’t entirely understand.
she swallowed, nudging his foot lightly with hers. "we already do this all the time, idiot."
jisung smiled, eyes still closed. "yeah. but i mean more."
y/n’s heart did something weird in her chest, but before she could dwell on it, jisung sat up suddenly, stretching his arms above his head. "anyway. we should clean around before the angry yunah gets back and starts lecturing us about leaving dishes out."
the moment was gone, dissipating like smoke, leaving yn slightly dazed in its wake.
she nodded, shaking off the strange warmth in her chest, pushing herself up as well.
"right. let’s clean up."
and just like that, the night continued, soft and slow, something unspoken lingering between them—unnoticed, or maybe just ignored.
. . .
the dishes had been washed, the leftovers tucked away, and the night stretched lazily ahead of them, the warm haze of comfort lingering in the air. the tv was still on, playing something neither of them was paying attention to, but y/n could feel the way the atmosphere had shifted—thicker, heavier, filled with something unsaid.
jisung sat on the floor again, back resting against the couch, his fingers absentmindedly drumming against his knee. now, his sleeves were pushed up to reveal his forearms, and his hair was messier now, some strands sticking out in different directions. he looked soft like this—less like the flirty, chaotic mess he usually was and more like the boy she had always known, the one who could say a million things with just a glance.
y/n sat across from him, legs crossed, arms draped over her knees as she studied him. she hesitated for a moment before saying, “play it for me.”
jisung blinked, caught off guard. “huh?”
“the song,” she clarified, shifting slightly. “i wanna hear it.”
he stared at her for a second before scoffing. “you never wanna hear my songs before they’re done.”
“um, wrong, you always reject to play them for me before they're done.” she pointed, trying to sound casual. “i feel like listening everytime. and tonight.”
“and my guitar is right here, so..” she laughed.
something flickered across jisung’s face—surprise, maybe, or something softer—but he didn’t question it. instead, he reached for her guitar, a brown one, which had burgundy, floral borders over its peaks and edges. it had been sitting next to the couch all night, like it had been waiting for the right moment.
he adjusted it on his lap, fingers finding the familiar curves of the wood, the smoothness of the strings beneath his touch. the way he handled just.. guitars had always fascinated her—not just with skill, but with love, like it was an extension of himself, a second voice that spoke when words weren’t enough.
y/n watched, her chin resting on her palm as she took in the tiny details she had seen a hundred times before but never really noticed—the way his brows furrowed in focus, the way his lips parted slightly as if he were already singing in his head, the way the warm light from the tv cast soft shadows across his face, accentuating the sharp line of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the fullness of his bottom lip.
he cleared his throat. “okay, but don’t judge, ‘cause it’s still rough.”
she rolled her eyes. “i never judge.”
he gave her a look, but it was softened by a small smile before he looked down at his guitar again. his fingers moved, the first chords filling the room—gentle, familiar, warm.
and then, he sang.
his voice was low at first, careful, like he was still unsure if he wanted to let her hear it. but as the melody flowed, he eased into it, his tone settling into that effortless, raspy sweetness that always made something deep in y/n’s chest ache.
she watched, completely entranced, as his eyes fluttered shut, lost in the song. the way his throat moved as he sang, the subtle shifts in his expression, the slight crease in his brow when he hit a note just right—it was all so undeniably han jisung, and it was beautiful.
she had heard him sing countless times before, but something about this was different. maybe because it was just the two of them, the world outside forgotten. or maybe because she was finally allowing herself to see him, really see him, in a way she hadn’t before.
his voice filled the room, smooth and raw all at once, laced with emotion that made her chest feel tight. and the lyrics—god, the lyrics.
it was soft, bittersweet, almost like a confession hidden within the melody. he sang about late nights and lingering glances, about feelings that hovered on the edge of something more, about someone who felt like home.
and y/n couldn’t help but wonder—who was it about?
her breath caught slightly as she watched him, taking in the way his lashes cast the faintest shadows on his cheeks, the way his fingers moved effortlessly over the strings, the way his lips curled slightly around certain words, like he meant them.
she felt something warm spread through her chest, something unfamiliar yet oddly comforting, like stepping into sunlight after days of rain.
when he finally strummed the last chord, the room settled into silence, save for the distant hum of the city outside.
jisung let out a breath, running a hand through his already messy hair. “so… what do you think?”
y/n was still staring. she realized it a second too late and quickly looked away, blinking. “it’s…” her voice felt stuck in her throat, so she cleared it, trying again. “it’s beautiful, ji.”
he smiled, looking down as if trying to hide how much her words affected him. “yeah?”
“yeah,” she said softly.
another silence settled between them, this one different from the ones before. it wasn’t awkward—it was thick, weighted with something neither of them dared to name.
jisung shifted slightly, leaning her guitar against the couch. his fingers tapped against his knee again, a nervous habit. “i meant what i said earlier.”
y/n tilted her head. “about what?”
“about you being in the song,” he said, his voice quieter now. “your voice would fit perfectly. you have this way of making things sound… real. i dunno how to explain it, but i think it’d be better if you were part of it.”
“i know you don’t take singing seriously, and you did say you'd listen to the actual demo.. oh which i know means a no, almost,” he cut in before she could refuse, “but just this once. just for this song.”
y/n exhaled, her fingers curling around the fabric of her sleeve. “why does it matter so much to you?”
jisung opened his mouth, then closed it, as if he was debating how honest he wanted to be.
finally, he shrugged. “because it’s us.”
her heart skipped.
“i mean, not us us,” he added quickly, looking away. “just… our voices. together. i think it’d be nice.”
y/n swallowed. “i don’t know if i’d be any good.”
“you would,” he said, no hesitation. “and i’d be with you the whole time. we’d do it together.”
together.
the word settled deep in her chest, warm and heavy.
she looked at him again, at the hopeful glint in his eyes, at the way he was watching her like she was something more than just his best friend.
and maybe, for the first time, she let herself wonder—what if she was?
she exhaled slowly, giving him a small, hesitant smile. “okay.”
jisung blinked. “okay?”
“i’ll do it,” she said, and his entire face lit up in that way it always did when he was really happy, the kind of smile that made her stomach flip in ways she didn’t fully understand.
“you won’t regret it,” he promised, excitement buzzing in his voice.
she wasn’t sure if that was true.
because something told her that once she sang with him, once their voices blended together in a song meant for something deeper—
there would be no going back.
and that terrified her more than anything.
. . .
sprawled out on jisung’s bed, surrounded by the soft hum of the laptop fan and the distant city sounds filtering through the window, y/n felt weightless. not in the way that meant floating away, but in the way that meant she was exactly where she was meant to be.
the air smelled faintly of fabric softener, of jisung’s vanilla-and-woodsy shampoo, of warmth. the blankets beneath them were slightly rumpled, evidence of a thousand previous sleepovers, tangled limbs, and late-night conversations that bled into early mornings. the glow from the laptop screen cast shifting patterns onto the walls, moving in time with the video they were watching.
it was their friend group’s latest dance cover, the kind they always hyped up in their group chat but never actually watched until they were together.
“look at hyunjin’s face,” jisung snickered, pointing at the screen as hyunjin executed a particularly dramatic spin, his expression intense. “bro thinks he’s in a movie.”
y/n burst into laughter, hiding her face in her hands. “no, because he so does that on purpose. you just know he was practicing in front of a mirror.”
“i bet he stared at himself for hours,” jisung agreed, shaking his head. “such a drama king.”
they continued watching, throwing in their own commentary as felix’s fluid movements took over the screen, followed by minho’s signature sharpness, yunah’s grace, and minseo’s precise footwork. their friends were insane, and as much as they teased, the admiration was real.
“minho-hyung’s on another level, though,” yn murmured, her head tilted slightly. “look at the way he controls his movements.”
jisung hummed in agreement. “yeah. he’s scary good.”
a comfortable silence settled between them, only the sound of the music playing through the laptop speakers filling the air. the bed dipped slightly where jisung had shifted, moving to lean on his elbow. yn could feel the shift in weight, the slight press of his arm against hers, the warmth of his body radiating closer than before.
she turned her head slightly—just a fraction—to look at him.
and that was when it happened.
something… shifted.
it was subtle, but it was undeniable. like a string pulled taut between them, an unspoken question hovering in the air.
jisung’s eyes were still on the screen, but his fingers had stopped absentmindedly tapping against the blanket. his jaw was relaxed, but his lips were slightly parted, like he had just thought of something he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say out loud.
the glow from the laptop flickered across his face, highlighting the curve of his cheek, the slope of his nose, the way his lashes cast delicate shadows against his skin. his hair, slightly messy from the way he had been lying down, fell softly over his forehead.
and then, as if he could feel her looking, his gaze flickered to hers.
it wasn’t immediate. it wasn’t rushed.
it was slow.
deliberate.
his eyes met hers, and for the first time in a long time, neither of them looked away.
the music in the background faded into something distant, something unimportant.
the flickering light, the sound of their breathing, the way the air seemed to press down on them—it all blended into something almost dreamlike.
jisung’s gaze dipped, just for a second, to her lips.
and y/n’s breath caught.
it wasn’t new, being this close. it wasn’t new, lying next to each other, watching something, talking about everything and nothing.
but this?
this was new.
this was different.
she could feel it in the way the space between them seemed to shrink, in the way her pulse thrummed in her ears, in the way jisung swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly.
his hand twitched—just barely—against the blanket.
and then, before she could even fully process it, he moved.
slow. hesitant. but sure.
his fingers brushed against hers, a touch so light it could have been mistaken for an accident. but neither of them moved away.
yn exhaled shakily, her heart a wild drum in her chest.
and then, suddenly—
their lips met.
soft at first. just a press—a quiet, unsure thing that barely lasted a second.
but then she leaned in.
and he did too.
and it wasn’t just a kiss anymore. it was something more.
jisung’s lips were warm, careful, but there was a hunger beneath it, something restrained, something that had been waiting far too long to be acknowledged. his fingers found her wrist, featherlight at first before gripping just slightly, grounding himself.
her hands curled into the fabric of his tee, and he let out a quiet exhale against her lips, like he couldn’t believe this was happening.
the laptop screen continued playing, casting shifting lights across their skin. the blanket beneath them was soft, but nothing—nothing—felt softer than this. than him.
he pulled away first, just enough to breathe, just enough to look at her.
his eyes searched hers, as if trying to understand what this meant.
as if asking, did we just cross the line?
but the thing was—
maybe there had never been a line in the first place.
maybe they had been here all along, just waiting for the right moment to realize it.
their breaths tangled in the space between them, warm and unsteady, still trembling with something unspoken. the moment felt like it stretched infinitely—long enough for y/n to take in the way jisung’s eyes flickered, dark pools of hesitation and something deeper, something unreadable.
his fingers, still curled loosely around her wrist, twitched, but he didn’t pull away.
the glow from the laptop continued to flicker, painting soft golds and muted blues across his face, across the fabric of his tee, across the slightly uneven threads of the blanket beneath them.
she felt warm.
not just from the shared heat between them, but from something in her chest, something that felt like a slow burn, like a realization creeping up on her.
jisung exhaled, his lips parting slightly as if to say something, but then he stopped.
she blinked at him, suddenly aware of the way her heart was still hammering. loudly. so loudly she swore he could hear it.
“…we just,” she said, as if confirming it to herself.
“kissed.”
jisung let out a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah. yeah, we did.”
silence. not awkward, but charged.
y/n wet her lips, suddenly hyper-aware of the lingering sensation of his against hers. soft. he was soft.
then, jisung groaned, burying his face into the pillow. “oh my god. did i just ruin us?”
she blinked, before laughing softly. “you’re literally so dramatic.”
“i am not,” he mumbled into the fabric, voice muffled.
“you are. like, so dramatic. like—oscar-worthy dramatic.”
jisung lifted his head just enough to glare at her, though the way his nose scrunched up made it less intimidating. “okay, miss i-just-kissed-my-best-friend-and-now-i’m-still-here-for-some-reason—why are you not freaking out?”
y/n tilted her head. “do you want me to freak out?”
“no?” his lips quirked. “maybe?” he groaned again, flopping onto his back, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers. “i just—wow, okay, so we really did just kiss. that happened.”
she rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, her fingers playing with the loose threads of the blanket. “do you regret it?”
jisung turned his head to look at her, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. he just looked.
his gaze trailed over the shape of her nose, the way her cheek was still slightly flushed, the way her hair had fallen over her shoulder, a few strands resting against her collarbone.
then, he whispered, “no.”
her breath hitched.
jisung swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly. “do you?”
a beat of silence.
“…no.”
another stretch of quiet, but this time, it was softer. like a shared secret, like something that no longer needed to be questioned.
then, jisung shifted, reaching up lazily, fingers brushing against the ends of her hair. “okay. so. now what?”
she huffed a small laugh, flopping back onto the pillows beside him. “i have no idea.”
“that makes two of us.”
they both stared at the ceiling for a long moment, the sound of the laptop’s fan whirring quietly in the background.
then—
jisung turned his head toward her again, watching the way her lips pursed slightly in thought, the way her fingers absentmindedly traced shapes onto the blanket.
slowly, carefully, he reached out, resting a hand against her arm. “can we—just. stay like this? for a bit?”
she turned toward him, eyes softening. then, instead of answering, she simply curled closer, letting herself nestle into his side, the fabric of his tee brushing against her cheek.
jisung let out a slow breath, his arm naturally slipping around her, his fingers resting against the dip of her waist.
she was warm.
he could feel her heartbeat, steady against his ribs, in sync with his own.
the scent of her shampoo filled his senses—something sweet, something vaguely floral, something hers.
the sound of their breathing intertwined with the faint music still playing from the laptop, a mix of their favorite songs.
jisung sighed, letting his cheek rest against the crown of her head. “you’re kinda dangerous, you know?”
yn hummed sleepily. “oh? why’s that?”
“because i don’t think i’ll ever want to sleep without you now.”
she smiled against his chest, eyes fluttering closed. “good thing i’m not going anywhere, then.”
and for the first time that night, jisung felt like maybe—just maybe—things had fallen into place exactly the way they were always meant to.
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mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @modesttiger @woozarts @katsukis1wife @bddaramjis @reignessance @peskybirdysya @honeyybbuubblleess @ellemir2404 @4ng3l-ch1ld @urlocalmultigroupfan
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moonchild1 · 14 hours ago
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jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅺ)
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hi everyone i am back and boy has there been some amazing fics posted while i was away it's awaken that spark in me again and this list is honestly packed, i went over like 60 fics for this one and i even added some of my ult. faves. the ones i have to mention again because they are just so amazing, trust me you will be going back for more over and over again too. you might notice some fics from ao3 and wattpad included as well they are hold a special place in my heart, they are masterpieces that need to be shared with you guys so please enjoy this new list and give all the authors mentioned all the love and respect they deserve seriously they work so hard on creating these beautiful fics and they deserve all the attention and gratitude we can offer them so please share your love through a like, comment and reblog them so they can feel the love and more people can find their masterlists and accounts because they have some really good fics there as well. I just wanna send an honourable mention to every single writer i have added to this list without you i would not have so much happiness when i come on this app and you have filled my heart and countless others with so much joy and happiness we appreciate you more than you will ever know and you make being here 10 times better your stories help us through alot and puts smiles on our faces and we get to spend time with a community of people who love what we love and we get to interact because of your ideas and it creates such an amazing experience so thank you for everything that you do the worlds you create and the ideas you come up and for sharing it all with us i adore you so much and you are just the best so once again thank you for everything and i look forward to what so many of you have planned - kiki ♡
NO MINORS ALLOWED PLEASE DON'T INTERACT!
happy reading everyone i hope you enjoy this extra long list of my faves and please remember to be happy and keep on smiling and interact if you want i love hearing from you guys and if you want you can send me a few of your faves 🥹🖤✨
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f - fluff s-smut a - angst
series
lines of fate by @kookiestarlight s a exes au zombie apocalypses tattooist jk
⋆ the last thing Jungkook ever imagined was an outbreak that turned the dead into the living. But even more unexpected is seeing you—an ex he’s known nothing about in the past four years—with a small child who bears a striking resemblance to himself. As Jungkook grapples with the shock and the city spirals into chaos, the two of you are thrust back together, forced to confront unresolved feelings, long-buried truths, and the horrors of the deadly virus taking over.
lost stars by @hueseok f a roommates e2l slow burn college au (33.2k)
⋆ the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.
a lovers kiss by @/hueseok f s a fwb i2l college au (55.6k)
⋆ a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course. and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a ft.kth love triangle dadJK exJK CEO kth (164.4k)
⋆ life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when you’re content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
to the stars by arckook (ao3) a zombie apocalypse (94.6k)
⋆ It was always you, and Jimin, and your best friend Jihyun. But fate, regardless of whether you believed in it or not, had other plans for you. Jimin told you once, "It's a tough road to the stars." Nowadays it was hard to believe the stars were somewhere you could reach.
moirai by norabean (ao3) f s a soulmates slow burn (95.2k)
⋆ On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.
from home by @yuzukult f s a e2l richkid jk fakedating au (89.5k)
⋆ a rich kid who gets cut off from family money meets an average post-grad girl who may be the key to getting him back on his parents’ good side.
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. kth e2l love triangle tsundere jk s2l (103.k+)
⋆ it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
future hearts by @jungblue f s a ft. pjm punk jikook s2l band au f2l lost love (114.6k)
⋆ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
mind games by @yerion f a tsundere jk roommates au (31.8k)
⋆ jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isn’t too bad, purely because you didn’t expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended. as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your team—jungkook, simply couldn’t sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that it’s inevitable
heartbeat by @xbaepsae s a ft myg unrequited love (24.9k)
⋆ “You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.“
one year, my love by @hayjeon f s a historical/royal au 100 days my prince kdrama (31k)
⋆ You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that he’s actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year. 
the love prognosis by @awrkive f s a medical au roommates f2l (90.7k)
⋆ for as long as you can remember, you've always been a hopeless romantic. the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
ever a never after by @yoonia s ft. ksj enchanted au (51.8+k)
⋆ Some say fate can be a cruel thing. Yet you never knew how true it was until fate played a hand in your bad luck. Merely moments before your happily ever after, you are suddenly sent out to a weird place. A different world. You wonder if this is a test from fate to see if you are truly deserving of your happy ending, or if perhaps fate wants to show you something else. Something that fate wishes you to learn before you can finally move on to take the next step towards your happiness.
between takes by @jeonstudios f s a fluffer au porn star au (74.6k)
⋆ as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard
Shatter With Me by @colormepurplex2 f s a surrogate au best friends husband (46.4k)
⋆ Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts f s a college au brother best friend forbidden love (218.5k)
⋆ when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
hold me close by @ahundredtimesover f s a brother best friend (41.8k)
⋆ When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though
sugar high by @yeojaa f a idol au childhood best friends unrequited love (33.3k)
⋆ You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.
the law of attraction by @jexnkookie f s a lawyer jk girl of his dreams (26.9k)
⋆ Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.
love bug by @here4kpopfics f s a established relationship (30.4k)
⋆ A collection of stories and drabbles with my comfort couple Jungkook and Love Bug as I affectionally call her. They were my first couple to write in over a decade and I hold them very close to my heart.
sh by @wwilloww f s a ot7 f2l (118k)
⋆ Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
bloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin f s a s2l soulmates werewolf au royalty au (30.8+)
⋆ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king… and the father of your child.  
jump then fall (into you) by @writtenwhalien f s a bf2l fake dating (52k)
⋆ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
not in that way by @girlygguk f s a ft. myg unrequited love bf2l (30k)
⋆ in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
live through this by @starshapedkookie f s a band au exes to frenemies to lovers (46.5k)
⋆ A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldn’t have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you can’t get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you weren’t sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.
a story that we paint by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft.kth college au scifi au (25k)
⋆ in which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.
crimson park by heartbeatan f s a e2l crime au(159.6k)
angel in the darkness by @icyhobi s a mafia au prostitution au
⋆ after a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named jeon jungkook.
one night stand by @buryhny f s a ceo au e2l (382k)
⋆ as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
the alpha omega series by @borathae f s a childhood best friends to enemies to lovers werewolf au (40.8k)
⋆ Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.
4-7-8 by @jiminrings a marriage au (73k+)
⋆ you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you. alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
netflix & chill by @1kook f s blindate collge au (113.7+)
 ⋆ If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
the bad blind date by ravsisrekt f s a idol au f2l (wattpad)
⋆ Being set up on a date is hard as it is. But being set up on a date where the boy you're with loves your best friend is even harder-and trust me, being bubbly, cute, and incredibly hilarious doesn't work on him either…but on the other members it certainly does.
sns by narcotichobi f s a idol au s2l (wattpad)
⋆ Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds herself through social media outlets and the integration of k-pop into her American life. Jungkook is a twenty year old singer, dancer and producer of the Korean-Pop idol group, BTS (방탄소년단). He works over twelve hours a day and has almost every second of his life circulating around social media. Jungkook, with newly found dating privileges, is slow to trust another person with his personal life and thoughts. Follow Jae and Jungkook through a love-story heavily motivated by social media and press
40 weeks by magicalmochii f s a teeange pregnancy f2l (wattpad)
⋆ They didn't want to be virgins when they graduated. Two friends agree to let go of their innocence together, no strings attached. Life had other plans.
unconditionally by magicalmochii f s a parents au (wattpad) sequel to 40 weeks
⋆ They survived high school and overcame the obstacles that tried to break them apart. Together they adapt to college life and work, all while caring for their new baby. Now, two friends turned lovers prepare for their wedding. Life had other plans. The continuation of 40 Weeks. Bring tissues.
blood ink by pocketbangtan f s a gang au tattoo artist jk (wattpad)
⋆ "That's my tattoo, Y/N, on your body. You know exactly what that means."
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wait for your love by @/spideyjimin f s a exes2lovers parents (17.3k)
⋆ sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
Inkling by @gguksgalaxy s a f2l tattoo artist jk (17.7k)
⋆Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?
in this paradise by @ressjeon f s a s2l survivor au (16.3k)
⋆ in an attempt to escape what’s been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn’t expect and then there’s you who somehow couldn’t believe to find company in this isolated land. was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
sleepover by @personasintro f s best friends brother (10.4k)
⋆ Jungkook is your best friend’s little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer f s a exes to lovers (4.6k)
⋆ Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
the devil’s change up by @/jungblue f s a coach au (41.3k)
⋆ Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far it’s been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, there’s one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better. 
entertainer by @taegularities f s a s2l (32.4k)
⋆ Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored – that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains… but regret.
habits of a clandestine nature by @alphabetboyluvr s a college au rich jk e2l (16k)
explorer by @/1kook f s alien au s2f2l (17.8k)
⋆ Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning. 
million dollar darling by @kooktrash f s a e2f2l crazy rixh asians inspired (19.7k)
⋆ jeon jungkook is well aware of how privileged he is to have been born into the life he was given. it was glamorous and influential yet close-knit and suffocating, something he thought he wanted to escape from. a trip back home to the circle of wealth and snottiness for his best friend’s million dollar wedding has reminded him of all the reasons why he wanted to leave in the first place… and all the reasons he should stay — the main one being you, the spoiled rich girl he knew was utterly perfect for him.
little surfer girl by @ppersonna f s a summer love suferjk (9.8k)
⋆ every summer you watched jeon jungkook turn into a perfect, professional surfer. every summer, you wanted him more. this summer, you were determined to make him yours.
the whole of your heart by @lcksndkys f s a husband au band au (8k)
⋆ Save a drum, bang a drummer.
sketch by @moonscriptsx f s soulmate au artist jk (9.6k)
⋆ After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to the face — and she's so much more than what he's dreamt of
strings attached (to my heart) by @jungkoode f s spiderkook college au (11.8k)
⋆ You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
it was always you by @/hueseok f s a childhood best friends to lovers (13.2k)
⋆ for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.or at least, that’s what you think.
mio angelo by @/hueseok f s a mafia au established relationship (33.3k)
⋆ it’s no secret to the whole nation how powerful the jeon family was. the efforts of the highly respected don jungsoo was the reason why the name of their clan continues to be a name that people thought greatly of and sometimes even feared. despite your father working alongside with the don, you never truly understood what the family possessed to earn them such acclaim; that is until you got closer to one of his grandsons, jeon jeongguk, that you caught a glimpse of how much power they truly seized as you see it first hand and become a part of it yourself. inspired by the godfather and vincenzo
ultimatum by @parkmuse f s spiderkook (10.3k)
⋆ Your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
melomaniac by @jungkxook f s a band au f2l (13k)
⋆ you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife f s a exes2lovers (18.9k)
⋆ A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.
will it fit? by @jeonsweetpea f s idiots2lovers roommate au (6.7K)
⋆ So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…
pull me down by @starryeyedkoo f a badboy gang college au (22.9k)
⋆ “Do you regret it?” “What?” “Falling in love with me? It feels like I only weigh you down.” “I’ll let you pull me down to the depths of hell if that’s what it means to love you.”
espresso by @joonberriess f s a boxer jk idol oc (14.6k)
⋆ a rowdy boxer and the pretty it-girl he bagged by being him. jungkook’s doing anything to prove he’s serious, even if it means making a fool outta himself.
changes in between by @/taegularities f s a roommates s2f2l (24.7k)
⋆ Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change you’ve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
not my fault by @/taegularities f s college au classmates 2 lovers (12.6k)
⋆ After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you won’t give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later – and it’s truly not your fault that he’s so damn hard to resist.
the secret beneath our stars by @subvk s a college au f2l (13.1k)
⋆ Falling in love with Jeon Jungkook was everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, but maybe it was exactly that: a dream so blissful and comforting that it was too good to be true, something that could all disappear when the night changes to day, and your eyes open again. Or, making a marriage pact with your best friend was supposed to instill a sense of hope for you, so why does this hurt you more than it should?
mature by @/jiminrings f a pining f2l (8k)
⋆ alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
movie goers by @mi55delulu f s a e2f2l (16.4k)
⋆ starting off on the wrong foot with your new neighbor was not on the top of your bucket list, yet you’ve made an enemy of jeon jungkook in less than 24 hours. unlucky for you, he’s not backing down either.
hopless hearts by @cupofteaguk f idol au s2l (17k)
⋆ you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.
dissonance by @/yuzukult f s a rockstar jk student oc (19.4k)
⋆ something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything… but all he’s missing is you.
this is how we break by @ahundredtimesover f s a exes au (20.6k)
⋆ There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isn’t one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if there’s enough of you left to try to get back what you’d lost.
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↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library
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svtiddiess · 12 hours ago
Text
Prescription For Pussy
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Synopsis: With Mingyu hidden under your desk as the intern keeps you occupied, you can’t resist the urge to tease him. But your playful antics only seem to fuel his desperation, turning him into a whimpering, eager puppy beneath you.
Pairing: husband!nurse!Mingyu x wife!doctor!reader ft. medical intern!Chan
Genre: smut, established relationship, non-idol!au, medical! au, mini-series
Rating: mature
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: petnames (puppy), public sex (Chan is in the room with them but can't see what they're doing), sub!Mingyu, dom!Y/N, oral (fem receiving), fingering, dry humping, Mingyu cumming in his pants, lemme know if I missed anything!
Note: Suprise! You thought the 1k celebration was done? Nope! Have another special bonus from me featuring the Sex Education couple. Enjoy!
Thank you so much to @seokgyuu, @gyubakeries, and @ylangelegy for beta reading!
And thank you to my twin @tomodachiii for helping me with the plot!
Click here to join my taglist!
Read on ao3
Reblogs are appreciated ♡
.ᐟMinors/blank/no age indicator blogs will be blocked.ᐟ
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Raising an eyebrow, you fold your arms across your chest and fix Mingyu with a deadpan look as he casually makes himself comfortable on your desk.
"Don't you have better things to do than bother me?" you sigh.
"Nope," he replies, popping the 'p' with a playful grin, his legs swinging like a carefree child. "Finished all my tasks for my shift. The other nurses are doing their rounds, so I thought, why not spend some quality time with my lovely wife?"
Shaking your head, you let out another sigh and step closer. Placing your arms on either side of him, you trap him between you and the desk.
"Well, your lovely wife is a busy doctor with plenty to do, dear husband," you tease with a grin.
"My wife is so smart and successful," he says with a giggle. "I’m so proud she became a doctor."
You laugh softly and lean in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips. "Well, I was lucky to have the best tutor," you grin.
"And I was lucky to have a very hot student," he purrs in response.
"You were," you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting them on the back of his head. "It was adorable how oblivious you were to my flirting," you tease, watching his cheeks flush red.
"I wasn’t oblivious," he whines.
"Then why were you acting like such a loser?" you prod, giggling.
"Because I was shy," he defends with a pout. "You were so pretty, and I didn’t want to ruin it by doing something stupid."
"You thought I was pretty?" you tilt your head, laughing softly.
"Mhm," he hums, pulling you closer by the waist. "Prettiest girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And luckily for me, I somehow managed to make her my wife," he whispers against your lips.
You giggle and close the distance, your lips meeting his in a warm kiss. Mingyu hums softly into it, the vibrations sending a rush of electricity through your body. You tilt your head, deepening the kiss, your tongues moving in perfect sync. The moment grows heated, the room suddenly feels much warmer. Mingyu’s hand sneaks down to your butt, giving it a playful squeeze that elicits a soft moan from you.
Just as the atmosphere turns steamy—
Knock, knock!
A sudden knock snaps you both out of the moment. You jolt apart, eyes wide in panic as the sound rings out again.
"Dr. Y/N, may I come in?"
It’s Chan, the intern. You glance at Mingyu, who looks equally alarmed, and in a flash of desperation, you grab him and push him under the desk. He shoots you a bewildered look, but you quickly whisper for him to stay put.
Smoothing out your shirt and skirt, you sit down at your desk and call out, "Come in!"
Chan peeks his head through the door, offering a sheepish smile.
"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" he asks hesitantly.
"Not at all," you reply with your most professional smile, silently praying that the blush on your cheeks has faded. "Please, come in and have a seat."
Chan, a newly assigned intern at the hospital, is a bit naive but undeniably intelligent and brimming with enthusiasm for learning. As he starts asking questions from his recent rotation, you respond with a sense of gratitude, appreciating his passion for becoming a doctor.
Midway through answering, it dawns on you that Mingyu is still hidden beneath your desk. A mischievous thought crosses your mind, and you subtly slip your foot out of your heel, resting it on Mingyu. Feeling his hand wrap around your ankle, you fight to keep a straight face, resisting the urge to smirk.
You subtly move your foot toward his crotch, feeling him tense under your touch. Applying gentle pressure, you hear a soft groan escape his lips, and you bite your bottom lip to stifle a laugh.
While maintaining your conversation with Chan, you discreetly shift your chair back just enough to catch a glimpse of Mingyu in your peripheral vision. You spot him covering his mouth with one hand to muffle any sounds while his other hand guides your foot over his crotch, his expression betraying his struggle to stay composed.
You dig your heel into Mingyu's growing bulge, and you see Mingyu shut his eyes and throw his head back. A giggle slips from your lips, but you quickly disguise it with a light cough.
"Are you okay, Doctor?" Chan asks, his voice filled with concern.
"I'm fine," you reply with a smile. "Just a dry throat."
Without hesitation, Chan springs to his feet. "I'll grab you a bottle of water," he offers earnestly before hurrying out of the room.
The moment the door closes, you push your chair back slightly and glance down at Mingyu, a sly smirk playing on your lips.
Mingyu shifts his position and starts humping your leg. You laugh at his desperate state.
"Such a pathetic puppy, using my leg to get off," you mock him, and he responds with a soft whine. His movements get faster and faster, desperate to reach his high.
When you hear the door unlock, you quickly shift back to your original position, but Mingyu doesn't let up, continuing to hump your leg. Chan returns with a bottle of water, which you accept with a grateful smile. Taking a quick sip, you nod and encourage him to continue with his question.
Chan continues his questions, completely unaware of what's happening below your desk. Mingyu's movement starts to become erratic, accidental whimpers and moans escape his lips.
Chan pauses, looking around the room with a puzzled expression. "Dr. Y/N, did you hear that?" he asks.
"Hear what?" you respond, trying to brush it off.
"N-Never mind, I think I just imagined it," he says after a moment of hesitation.
You quickly shift the topic of conversation, and Chan soon forgets about the sound. You press your foot against Mingyu's groin as a warning, earning a muffled groan from him.
You feel Mingyu's hand kneading your thigh, and when you subtly glance down, you catch sight of a very hot and flustered Mingyu looking up at you with a pleading expression, silently begging you to wrap up the conversation and send Chan away. But you only smirk in return and move your leg against his crotch, causing his eyes to roll back and a silent moan to leave his lips.
As you glance back at Chan, your leg continues to brush against Mingyu's crotch, feeling his growing desperation for release. Suddenly, without warning, Mingyu's hands spread your legs apart. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you maintain a calm demeanor. A shiver runs through you as his hand trails up your leg, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and you shift slightly, caught between surprise and anticipation.
You bite your bottom lip as Mingyu shifts your panties to the side, suppressing a shiver when the cool air brushes against your exposed core. Without warning, his fingers slide into you, drawing a sharp, surprised gasp from your lips.
"Dr. Y/N? Is everything okay?" Chan asks, his voice tinged with concern.
"N-No! It's nothing," you stammer, your voice trembling. "I just thought…I left the stove on at home. But then I remembered I didn't." Mingyu lets out a quiet chuckle at your pathetic excuse while Chan gives you a puzzled look. Thankfully, he seems to buy your lie and moves on with his questions, leaving you to deal with the heat rising in your cheeks.
Mingyu slowly slips his fingers in and out of your pussy, and you bite your bottom lip to try and prevent yourself from moaning. You try to close your legs but Mingyu's strong hand holds them open. He slowly picks up his pace, and you feel your body heat up; you really hope that Chan doesn't see the blush dusting your cheeks.
A soft whimper nearly slips past your lips as Mingyu slides another finger inside you. Your hands grip the edge of the desk, nails digging into the wood as you silently hope Chan doesn't notice the faint, wet sounds coming from beneath the desk. Your body tenses when Mingyu’s fingers brush against your G-spot, sending a jolt of pleasure through you that leaves you craving more.
"C-Chan!" you blurt out, cutting him off mid-sentence, then quickly clear your throat, flustered. "Can we, um, continue this discussion another time? There are a few things I need to take care of soon," you say, trying to sound composed as you urge him to leave.
"Oh! Of course, Dr. Y/N. I’m so sorry for taking up your time," Chan replies apologetically, quickly gathering his things and exiting the room. The moment the door clicks shut, you’re left alone with Mingyu once again, the tension between you palpable.
You immediately roll your chair back and grab Mingyu by his hair, yanking him closer as you lean down with a scowl. He meets your glare with a playful smirk, unfazed by your irritation.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" you snap, your voice low and sharp.
"Just helping you get rid of Chan," he replies with a grin, his tone dripping with mischief. "And it worked, didn't it?"
You let out a scoff, tightening your grip on his hair until he lets out a soft whimper. "You're such an idiot," you mutter, though there’s a flicker of amusement in your voice.
"Maybe," he says, his smirk widening. "But hey, I might not be a gynaecologist, babe, but I know my way around your pussy."
Rolling your eyes, you tug harder on his hair, earning another whimper. "Oh yeah? Prove it, then, puppy. Make me cum with your fingers."
With a devilish grin, Mingyu picks up the pace, his fingers relentlessly targeting that spongy spot that turns your mind to mush. A string of curses spills from your lips as you throw your head back, spreading your legs wider to give him better access. The tension in your stomach coils tighter and tighter with every thrust of his fingers, the room echoing with the lewd, wet sounds of your arousal.
"I-I'm close," you whimper, your body trembling as it edges toward release.
Mingyu's free hand sneaks to your clit, tracing slow, deliberate circles over the sensitive nub. The sensation sends a sharp moan tearing from your throat as you finally tip over the edge, your body convulsing with waves of euphoria.
After a few more pumps, Mingyu pulls his fingers out and brings them to his mouth, sucking your juices off with a satisfied hum. "Always so sweet," he murmurs, his smirk widening.
"Yeah? Then you should have more," you growl, snatching his glasses off and tossing them onto the desk. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, you yank him forward, pressing his face firmly against your cunt.
Without hesitation, Mingyu dives in, eagerly lapping up your juices as his hands grip your thighs, spreading them even wider. Despite still being sensitive from your last orgasm, you tug sharply on his hair, pulling him closer as your body arches and writhes under his touch.
Shaky moans and breathless whimpers escape your lips as his tongue teases and prods at your entrance. Mingyu’s own muffled moans vibrate against you, sending jolts of electricity coursing through your body. Feeling the familiar coil of pleasure tightening once more, you lose yourself in the sensation, grinding against his face as if he’s nothing more than your personal fuck toy, desperate for that second release.
With a low growl, Mingyu hooks your legs over his shoulders, burying his face deeper into your slick cunt, determined to make you cum on his tongue. Your moans grow louder, his name spilling from your lips like a mantra as you teeter on the edge of release. Just as you’re about to tip over, his nose brushes against your clit, and that’s all it takes to send you spiralling.
His name becomes a chant, a desperate prayer, as your second orgasm crashes over you. Waves of pleasure ripple through your body, leaving you trembling and breathless. Mingyu moans against you, savoring every drop as he laps up your arousal, refusing to let a single one go to waste.
After a few final, lingering licks, he gently sets your legs down, pressing a soft kiss to your inner thigh before tugging your panties back into place. You glance down at him, noticing the unmistakable damp spot on his pants, and a sly grin spreads across your face.
"Looks like someone came in their pants without even being touched," you tease, your voice dripping with amusement.
Mingyu smirks up at you, unashamed. "Can't help it when I've got such a pretty pussy in my mouth." You let out a soft chuckle as you reach for Mingyu’s glasses, carefully placing them back on his face. With a gentle touch, you smooth down his disheveled hair and wipe away the remnants of your arousal from his skin.
The two of you sit there, catching your breath, exchanging fucked-out smiles. But just as the moment settles, a sharp knock at the door shatters the quiet.
"Dr. Y/N, may I come in?"
Your eyes meet Mingyu's, and the two of you share a mischievous grin. In a flash, he ducks back under the desk, and you quickly smooth out your skirt, scooting your chair closer to the desk.
"Come in," you call out, your voice steady despite the smirk playing on your lips. As the door opens, you feel Mingyu's lips already trailing kisses along your leg, and you can’t help but grin.
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Taglist: @tinyelfperson @gyuguys @stay-tiny-things @unlikelysublimekryptonite @miyx-amour @iamawkwardandshy @codeinebelle @brownbunnyb @do-you-remember-summer-127 @sclovreina @theidontknowmehn @toplinehyunjin @gyuhao365 @mysticfairies @cherrylovescheol @cookiearmy @4shypotato @lxnnrobin @sashaaahh @xueisaaa17 @aeriyell @eshia16 @dreamingofpcy @archivistworld @kyeomiis @iwannakisspoutycheol @aliiikareed @jennwonwoo @cherrybb96
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jayparked · 20 hours ago
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texts with boyfriend yang jungwon
PAIRING: yang jungwon x female reader GENRE: crack, smut-ish ; mdni AU: established relationship WARNINGS: in the words of the wise ronnie "THE WAY [THIS] MATCHES HIS FREAK", everyone a lil bit horny here, kill john lennon joke from that one south park episode, he's really dramatic for no reason, pet names, ipad kid jungwon SNAIL TRAIL: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNGWOOONNNNN 🥺i'll never forget when i first saw jungwon's iconic "strawberry with chocolate video" in a 'iconic kpop lines' video on tiktok. when i saw that clip i was like "idk who that is but i fwu heavy i'll protect you with my life." and now here i am making content for him 🥺 jungwon does sosososo much behind the scenes for little recognition. the way he is one of the best dancers and has one of the most unique voices in the entire industry yet steps back to let his other members shine does not go unnoticed. he's taken on so much responsibility at such a young age and i love how he still gets to be silly with us and his members despite having that leader role. please never stop being who you are jungwon, you are such a unique soul that i will cherish every chance i can. thank you for being such an inspiration, place of comfort and peace, and a reliable person to fall back on whenever i need a good laugh. i always said it seems like this is jungwon's first life that his soul is experiencing and what an honor it is to watch him shine. happy birthday my peace 💛 and as always, shout out to my gang @sungbeams @dazzlingjaeyun @heejamas thank you guys for helping me form my ideas and for looking these over before i post them! i appreciate you guys so much
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♡ pls like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed! ♡ masterlist ♡ all rights reserved jayparked 02/08/25 do not copy, repost, or translate
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enviedear · 2 days ago
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jason todd who is blessedly cursed with a lover who hates, no, loathes his motorcycle. loathes the idea of the very thing—much more the idea of getting on.
oh, and you have an expansive and reasonable list for just why the vehicle is a complete danger. it’s reckless and unsafe—and exactly why jason loves it. you’ve seen the way your skunk-striped boyfriend drives the thing, fast and domineering, taking turns and bends like they’re nothing. road laws are a non issue to him as well, but you suppose you have a certain billionaire to thank for that.
the two of you will argue about this. eyes will roll, tones will change, and jason will always tease. “it’s not scary, baby. jus’ looks that way.” or “you should see how fast i go on patrol.” but without fail, his favorite rebuttal is just to offer you a ride. of course, it’s under the guise that it’s just to show you how not scary it is—but still—you refuse him.
you like your feet on solid ground. you like your skull uncracked. you like your chances of surviving a trip through gotham without having to cling to him for dear life.
jason finds it amusing. endearing, even. the same way he finds all your stubborn little refusals—like you don’t already trust him with the deepest, softest parts of you. what’s one trip on his bike?
finally—and after an offer you just couldn’t refuse—you cave. a minor concession. you ask him to keep it parked, kickstand steadying the both of you, while he demonstrates how he’ll behave.
he’s sweet about it, despite the fact he finds it total overkill. it brings a smirk to his face as he explains how he’ll keep you steady, check in on you, and abide by traffic laws—well…the bat’s traffic laws.
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writers note .☘︎ ݁˖ comments and reblogs appreciated, askbox open—feel free to stop by 🫂
🖇️ masterlist | askbox | recent works
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dpspcehntr · 21 hours ago
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Love & Deepspace NSFW Headcannons Pt 3
Part One || Part Two
Paring: L&DS OT4 x Reader
Warnings: toys, fingering (f receiving), size description (if you squint), pubic hair, oral (m receiving), piercings, mutual masturbation, lingerie, bath/shower sex
A/N: Hello all! here’s some more headcanons to keep you fed while I take a little step back. The semester is getting intense so I don’t have as much time as I did. I’ll try to keep chugging away at those requests in the mean time! If you’re wondering why Caleb isn’t here, I explained it here. That’s all! Hope you enjoy and reblogs are deeply appreciated.
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Zayne
The control he tries to keep is very thin and when he snaps……you better be ready
Perfect size and girth for you to need to take it easy the next day
Hair is trimmed neatly and is carefully maintained
Addicted to the way you feel on him, simply cannot get enough
Now that he no longer feels that he has to repress himself, just get ready
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Xavier
Keeps a box of toys at his place for you and him to use (though he uses it on himself more)
What he doesn’t have in length he makes up for in girth, you’re more than happy to feel the stretch
Hair is trimmed neatly, though the maintenance sometimes gets away from him
Stamina is out of this world, we’re talking hours
He likes to be choked when you ride him
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Rafayel
Won’t admit it, but loves when you take control
Perfect size and girth, he likes to bury it in your throat most
Completely hairless, not even stubble, you wonder how he keeps so clean
If your nipples are pierced, he finds them very hot and gets turned on when you wear the jewelry you picked (bonus points if it has chains)
Makes mutual masturbation a game, whoever cums first has to bottom
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Sylus
Loves to keep you clench on his fingers and won’t fuck you until then
It’s big, both in length and girth, had to do a few sessions just for size training
Hair is neatly manicured and he even shared his grooming routine with you in detail
Loves to dress you up in lingerie and then ripping it off you (which you love too)
Often takes showers and baths with you just to make clean up easier (and sometimes he just likes pampering you after a long day)
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justwonder113 · 1 day ago
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Drunk Chan confessing to you -inspired by this lovely ask
Warnings: Cursing as always. Chan's Pov. Reader is gender neutral. Chan is whipped! Chan thinks reader is dating someone. Childhood friends to lovers. Misunderstanding with a happy ending. Chan is drunk but not that much, more like tipsy. word count-3.4k A/N- Sorry this took me ages to write but I hope you'll enjoy reading. Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated.
My masterlist.
If you like my work you can buy me coffee❤️
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Chan felt like he was about to lose his mind and weirdly enough it wasn’t because one of the boys did something to either piss him of or to just to be a general menace. No his distress was caused by a whole another thing or better say someone. How in the world was it possible for someone look this gorgeous, so ethereal and breathtaking on a regular fucking Friday?  
He knew he was whipped for you. He made peace with that simple yet not so simple fact years ago. He also knew that he found you absolutely beautiful. Whenever he tried to think of something beautiful your image always popped up before anything else. It was simple as that for him, like the fact that the sky was blue, the grass was green and you were definition of a word bewitching for him. 
Maybe it was a little bit of alcohol he had drunk earlier affecting him, maybe he just fell for you even harder right now (if it was even possible). But right now, as he watched you talk with the boys about god knows about what, he thought that you were the definition of the word beauty. He didn’t know if he wanted to stare at you for as long as possible and bask in your beauty and presence of if he should go to Hyunjin and ask him to teach him paint so that he could capture just how beautiful you looked. But knowing himself, even if it was possible to capture all of it on paper... Chan liked to think of himself as a selfless person, or at least he tried to be, but he was an honest man. If it was possible to capture how captivating you truly were, he would just keep it to himself, he would become the most selfish man in the world. And maybe he was. All he could think about right now was that your attention wasn’t on him, that you paid your mind to someone other than him. It didn’t matter that that “someone” was his friends, the people he considered his family. He wanted all your attention on him, he wanted you to look only at him. God he was losing his mind. When did he become so needy and desperate for your attention? He felt pathetic, how would you even look at him when he acted this way? He reminded himself something he did for years now. That you deserved way better than him, you deserved someone who would give you the world, someone who would cherish you the way you deserved. Even though he would do absolutely anything for you, even though he would make impossible possible for you, even though he would let the world burn for you, you deserved someone who would do even more for you and more importantly always be there for you. He wasn’t worthy of you not with the relationship he had with his work. God, it killed him whenever he had to cancel plans with you and couldn’t be there for you because he had to work. As much as he loved what he did for a living, the same love turned into hate because it kept him away from you. There were even times when he considered to just fuck it and quit, but what would he even do in life? There was literally nothing else he could see himself as. Without a job without a passion what worth did he have? What could he do?  
God, he felt pathetic. He was thinking about all this as he stood a chance with you in the first place. You always had looked at him and saw him as a friend. Maybe there was a moment there and there where it seemed that there could be something more. But your relationship although the years had been strictly platonic. He had given up on hoping for something more years ago. 
He had come with peace with the fact that he couldn’t be something more for you. Maybe it was for the good. You could live your life to the fullest. He was fine loving you from afar. 
God all he could think about was how cute you looked. Your hair was still messy, because you rushed here when you noticed that all of them were quite drunk when you called to check on them, and you were wearing that way too big hello kitty hoodie with the matching black pants Chan got you as a joke that you kept wearing because it was really comfortable. Your whole look today screamed that you only cared about being comfortable and that you were grumpy that you had to get up in the middle of the night to get your silly friends. Still in Chan’s eyes you looked like you hung the stars yourself. 
 God he was obsessed with you. There was no better way to describe the feeling really. Even now the moment your gaze shifted to him and you gave him that sweet smile... He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His body felt warm all over yet he felt his lungs were frozen in place. 
“How are you feeling Channie?” You asked him with that sweet voice of yours. In seconds his mind was swarmed with all the possible lyrics he could use to write yet another song dedicated Soley for you that he kept hidden in his laptop.  Well, hidden was a nice word. All of the boys knew of that file and Chan was more than few times relentlessly teased for his crush on you. They kept pestering that he should just confess, or at least show you all the songs he had written for you and let them do the job for him, but he just couldn’t. 
“Better now that you’re here.” He slipped before he could even stop himself. What if he made you feel uncomfortable? You two flirted from time to time, but lately he had this rising suspicion that you were seeing someone and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. All he knew was that he would rather die than make you uncomfortable with his silly little crush. 
Thankfully for him and his heart you chuckled and immediately his whole heart was filled with joy. “Well, I’m glad. I’m here to bring you home, because little birdie here told me that you had been asking for me all night.” You mused all sweetly. Chan’s head immediately snapped towards Minho, who grinned at him all triumphant. He would have to have a word with him later. 
“God I will kick his ass later. You didn’t have to come. I had no idea he told you to get here. You must have been tired.” Chan only stopped rambling when he felt you place your hand on his shoulder. You looked at him with eyes shining brighter than all the stars combined. It was his words yes and he would stand by it. 
“Calm down Channie.”  Your voice was calm, soothing. If there was one thing he had to choose to listen to till the end of his life he would, without a thought, choose your voice. Your kind, beautiful, soothing voice. He loved whenever you showered him with affection and complemented him. Hell, love wasn’t strong enough of a word to describe how he felt, he was on the cloud nine whenever you said even something sweet to him. But the thing about your voice and presence to him was that, even if you weren’t complimenting him or just being sweet. Even if you were just telling him about how your day went, he felt this serenity, this calmness. Whenever he was with you his mind always just shut down. It went silent. And he could actually enjoy living in a moment and enjoy his life to the fullest. Would there even be time when he would be able to convey in words just what you meant to him? Maybe then he would actually stop and be proud of himself as a lyricist. 
“Do you want me to be here?” Your teasing tone quickly bought him back to reality. 
“What kind of question is that? Of course I do!” Chan was quick to protest which made you chuckle. God there it was, that beautiful sound. Suddenly everything felt all right. 
“Whipped!” He heard Minho cough into his fist. He would really have to kick his ass later. 
Chan was about to ask you about how you were, how your day went, mundane stuff like that when he heard your phone ring.  “Sorry Channie one second.” You quickly checked your phone. The slight furrow of your brows was quickly replaced by a gentle smile. You quickly raised your finger to give you time and went a few steps away to talk on your phone. He couldn’t really decipher what you were saying to that person but your voice... You sounded do genuinely happy talking to that person.  
The ringing in his ears raised in volume when he caught you call that person “babe”. Did he fully lose you? Did you really start seeing someone? Was the distance between you so big that you didn’t even tell him you were seeing someone? Did he mess up so bad that you didn’t even feel comfortable confiding in him? 
Too caught up with the turmoil in his head he didn’t even notice for a moment a figure approach you. When he brought his gaze on you, you were talking with some man. Sweet smile adorning your face, your eyes shining brightly. Was it that someone? You weren’t talking on the phone anymore. The way you were talking to him you clearly knew him.  It also didn’t help him at all that the man you were talking to was objectively really handsome. There was no way he could compete with a person like him. God, he felt like a joke. There wouldn’t even be a competition. He should be able to face reality now. He had spent years helplessly yearning for you. He should know by now that he didn’t stand a chance with you. God, he felt like crying. 
The rest of the night was a blur. He didn’t even remember how he got into your car. Or the road you took. The last thing he remembered was how he saw you hug that man goodbye. Good thing that man wasn’t accompanying you that day and he returned to his friend group shortly after. He wasn’t sure he was ready to be introduced to your boyfriend. Not that he would ever be. 
It was funny how one moment you could be having time of your life and the next second it could be ruined by one single thing. Chan barely felt like talking, let alone smile or anything of that sort. And as it turned out his mood was contagious. The whole ride was quiet. Chan couldn’t even remember the time where all of them were in the same space and it was actually quiet. 
However, why you were silent and didn’t talk at all was a mystery to him. Did that man upset you? If that was the case, he would gladly murder someone. No one got to mess with you, not on his watch. 
“Channie?” Your voice brought him back to reality. He must have zoned out again. That two extra shots he drank as you talked with that man really messed with his head. As if he wasn’t already tipsy enough. “Are you okay?” You sounded worried. Was it this apparent he was sad? What was he even supposed to say? 
“I’m just tired.” He managed to mumble out after a second or two. 
“What do you think about sleeping over at my house?  We haven’t hung out in a while. I can not be deprived of my best friend for too long you know that.” You whined all cutely making his heart flutter uncontrollably. But he quickly got reminded of the fact that you were not his. And the small smile that wanted to break through got quickly replaced by a deeper frown. 
“I don’t think we should.” It brought him physical pain to utter these words to you. 
Now it was your time to frown. “Why is that?” God, you sounded so sad. It killed something inside him knowing he was the one causing you pain. You quickly backed down. “I mean if you don’t feel like it it’s totally fine. We’re almost at your house too. We’ll be there in few minutes.” You laughed awkwardly. 
God he hated this. Since when did things get weird between you? When did things change? Would things get even weirder and would the distance between you two grow as your relationship with your new boyfriend progressed? 
“Wouldn’t your boyfriend mind?” He hated how he couldn’t ask one question without mumbling like a sad little kid. 
Without even saying a word you quickly pulled over and turned on hazard lights. 
“Channie what the actual fuck?” You tried to sound calm but your voice betrayed you. 
“What? What did I do wrong?” This was weird, he was the one (okay unfairly, yes, but) upset with you, how were you the one scolding him? What did he even do? He didn’t remember upsetting you. Did he forget something? Did he do something and then forget? 
“What did you do wrong? Dude what is up with that question?” You sounded so appalled like he asked the most ridiculous question ever. “What boyfriend?” 
“You broke up?” When did you even manage to do that? Weren’t you all lovey-dovey with someone minutes ago? Did you break up with him via text? No, you wouldn’t do that right? Also why would you break up with him? The dude seemed perfect. 
“There was no one to begin with?” You stared him for a second, you seemed unsure of something. “Is this why you were sulky all evening? You think I’m dating someone?” 
Did he misread the whole situation? He didn’t right? He didn’t just make an absolute fool out of himself right? 
God he did. He wanted to dig a hole to crawl into and never get out. He really felt like crying now. 
“I’m not dating anyone.” You sighed out after few seconds of numbing silence. “God Channie what even made you think that?” 
Chan hadn’t even noticed he started fidgeting with his fingers. He only stopped when you placed your hand on top of his, only then he was able to feel the sting or the small self inflicted  wound. 
Chan took a deep breath. Here went nothing. “You had been smiling at your phone and texting a lot too. You’re always busy too. And when you were on your phone you called someone babe. And the man at the bar too!” Really, how could he not think you were dating someone. 
“I’ve been texting my friends that’s all. We’re planning a birthday party and I guess I’ve been running around a lot for it. Now listen carefully before I smack your beautiful idiot head! I call my friend babe, you have seen me do it millions of times, you even joked about how you could get jealous about it!” You quickly ranted to him, elevating Chan’s worries bit by bit, word by word. 
“What about the Guy at the bar?” Chan didn’t back down. He had to know. He had to know the truth. 
“Why does it matter if I have a boyfriend?” You looked at him with determined eyes. 
“What kind of question is that?”  
“The kind I want answer to. What does it change if I have a boyfriend?” 
Chan felt his face get warmer, how was he supposed to answer that question? 
“Come on, you know it changes everything!” No matter how hard he tried to hold it in, the desperation in his voice clearly showed. 
“What Chan? What does it change?” You raised your voice. Why were you prying like that? 
He couldn’t take it anymore. 
“For fuck’s sake how will it not Change everything? How can everything stay the same when I have been in love with since I remember? How can I just watch you go to another man just like this? You’re everything I have ever wanted and loved. You’re my everything! How can you not see that? Every song I have written is about you, every thought I have is about you, my heart simply beats just for you! How will it not change anything? It will kill me to see you with another man. I would do anything in this world for you but not let you go. I could never let you go!” 
God, he said it. He really said it. He finally admitted just what he felt for you. Well yelled would be more accurate word to describe it. But yeah... He finally admitted his feelings. It was like weight got lifted off his chest but as the seconds passed in absolute deafening silence, maybe it was better to keep it in. 
He couldn’t even look you in the eyes. He was such an idiot. He should have kept it to himself. Why didn’t you say anything? Were you that disgusted? Would you stop being friends with him now? Did he just lose you? 
He couldn’t even fully grasp what happened. One second he heard a clink of a seatbelt opening and next second your lips were on him. The lips he had dreamed of tasting for years were now kissing him. Did he just die and wake up in heaven? 
Your lips were soft as silk and so warm and you kissed him so tenderly almost hesitantly. As if a dam broke inside of him, he quickly opened his seatbelt and brought himself closer to you. There was no way he could hold himself back now that he got to know how you taste. Biting down on your lip gently he could feel your lips part. He immediately deepened the kiss. God he loved it, how you tasted, how you clung onto him, how soft and pillowy your lips were. His whole mind was consumed by you, he was overwhelmed in the best way, all he could feel was your lips caressing each other, your warmth surrounding him, your cold fingers that held his face gently, your sweet scent that was making him go numb. God he could feel how he was slowly getting more and more addicted to you. 
When you leaned back for air he couldn’t help but as he tried to chase your lips but you stopped him giggling. God did you have any idea what you did to him? He was at your feet at your mercy, did you even realize that? 
“Since I have to spell everything out for you today you beautiful dummy, I have been in love with you for years! I just didn’t think you felt the same way. Okay, there were times I did, but like you always backed down! And today seeing how sulky you got over me talking with a coworker who was with his boyfriend by the way, I thought that maybe this was the day I could finally get to the truth. Thankfully You return my feelings because if you didn’t I don’t think I would be able to get over you.” Chan physically couldn’t  let you finish talking a he leaned in and captured your lips in another searing kiss. As much he loved your voice and listening to you talk he had just realized that he loved kissing you more. Also to think that you thought that there was a possibility that he didn’t love you... He just had to stop you. 
“Of course I love you. God I adore you! You’re definition of perfection, live representation of love and beauty for me. I don’t think there’s even a universe where I don’t love you!” 
Hearing you giggle made his heart leap in joy. “God you’re such a sap Channie.” Gently bringing him closer to you by his shoulders you gently pecked him. Chan couldn’t help but mirror your grin as he wrapped his arms around you, basking in your presence, enjoying living this moment with you. 
“You’re one to talk.” He couldn’t help but tease back before leaning in to quickly peck your nose which made your smile widen. 
“We’re a perfect match then.” You mused, clearly satisfied. 
“Yeah, we really are.” Chan smiled to himself and hugged you closer feeling finally at peace. Finally feeling whole. 
Reblogs and feedback are gretly appreciated^^ If you like my work you can check my Masterlist or you can buy me coffee ;) Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @notastraykid @annie-boleyn
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 days ago
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Taking Root 1
Warnings: non/dubcon, stalking, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
This AU is called Watcher Anonymous and will include different series for different characters. This is our introduction to Bucky and Leaf.
Summary: a neighbourly connection might be more than chance.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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Bucky cracks his neck as he approaches the large windows. He rubs his eyes as he snarls at the sunlight peering back at him. Steve always leaves the curtains open. Always gone before Bucky drags himself out of bed.
He tugs them shut but stays close. It's not noon yet. She'll be out shortly.
He's not much for television. He tried a few TV series, some movies recommended on that chat, but he just can't keep his mind from running. It's why he wakes up late. Most nights, he doesn't even sleep. This is what keeps him enthralled. There's not much plot, but the main character is fascinating.
He swigs from his mug as the city street chugs from down the alleyway between their apartments. Her balcony is slightly lower. The perfect vantage.
Pathetic. That's what he'd call himself if he wasn't him. All those guys on that discord Steve found are that very flavour. But he's not them. They're all weirdo virgins. He's had plenty of women. More than enough. She's just different. Like him.
As if beckoned by his awakening, she appears. Her railing is curtained with ivy, enough that she doesn't think of modesty. He doesn't mind. She comes out wearing a loose sweater that reads SWEET in large caps and a pair of her frilly panties. He likes those ones, they ride up when she bends over to pick up the watering can.
She goes about her usual routine. She checks the leaves, waters the soil, untangles the overgrown stems, and treats the plants with rot or infestations. The cluster of plants takes up most of the space. She's like a little chipmunk among them.
She finishes and takes the can inside. The sliding door gives a generous view of her place. Inside, she lingers at the window ledge and checks the row of cactuses. He admires her devotion to those plants. She'll haven't the big square planters soon. A few of the tomatoes growing up the posts look close to ripe.
He rubs the cleft of his chin and his stubble makes a bristly noise. He backs away at the unnerving idea. It's too much. Too soon.
Fuck that. He's not that weirdo Jensen. He's been tailing his married boss for three years. Now that's fucking desperate. Besides, they all made a pact, as lame as it was. They're going to make their moves. Either do something or get over it.
Right. Finish the coffee and get your ass together, Barnes. He rinses the mug then goes to make himself human again. Show, brush the teeth, untangle your hair, tie it back, no one will know the different, clothes. Alright. It won't be so bad to get out and it'll get Steve off his back about Vitamin D. Funny, the sunlight only makes him feel worse.
He heads off with a cap pulled down low and his hands in his pockets. There's a shop down the way, they have tables outside full of seeds and little pots. And a coffee shop right next door. He could use a second cup. Maybe a third.
He stops by the display of plants on the corner. There's a big red sign marked 'End of Season Clearance.' Better late than never.
The old woman who runs the shop offers him a shallow box to put his purchases in. Some pansies and violets. He doesn't know. The colours are nice, he guesses. She tells him to get a nice long bed for them and he should be able to have a nice bunch before the frost.
He gets his coffee, agitated as he balances his starters in one arm, then heads home. He gets back to the apartment and leaves the box on the table. He doesn't touch them as he paces around. He goes to the window. She reading in her chair, reclined, one leg bent, sweater rumpling to expose a bit of tummy. He narrows his eyes. He reaches for the binoculars nearby. Oh yeah. He shouldn't be so into it but he can see a little bit of hair sticking out the edge of her panties. It makes him chafe in his jeans.
He backs up as his stomach growls. Fine. He eats grilled cheese and canned tomato soup. He's still groggy. He goes to the window again. He stays there until she's gone. The censor will let him know if she comes back out.
Steve gets home. He's in a rush. His bag clatters off the bench as soon as he lets go of it. He huffs and picks it up, scurrying around. Bucky doesn't ask. He's on his way to that volunteer gig. They both know why he's in such a hurry.
"Have fun," Bucky calls out from the sofa.
"Oh, flowers?" Steve pauses as his soles scuff.
"What's it to ya, punk?"
"Nothing. You know I got allergies, right?" He sneezes as if to make the point.
"Sure I do. They're going on the balcony... tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Steve asks. "Why not-- achooo!"
"Cool off," Bucky warns. "I'll cover them up."
"Ugh, I don't got time," Steve mutters. "See ya. Oh, and you probably don't want the cat chewing on those n-n-neith-- achoo!"
"She's off terrorising the mice," Bucky snorts. "Get out of here, Rogers."
The night rolls by slowly. Hours spent with his eyes open. On the couch until his roommate gets back. Then his bed. Back to the living room. Steve gets up to get ready for work at the museum. Bucky puts Alpine on his chest and scratches her chin. Her box needs changing.
The sunlight softens between the curtains as he's left alone. He lets the cat out with him as he angles the box of flowers through the door. He got the big trays too and soil. He'll replant it like she did hers. Or try to. Steve keeps saying the place needs a bit of home to it. Goddamn it, Steve, shut up.
He puts the flowers on the iron table and sighs. He doesn't know where to start. The squeak of a hinge makes him tense. It's hers. He knows it without looking. She yawns and he trembles, fighting not to look down at her. He can hear her sipping from her porcelain mug. Is it the one with the lillies or the roses?
"Are those Blueberry Swirl Pansies? Those are so pretty."
He doesn't move at first. She's talking to him. He knows it. His chest feels like it's full. He pushes away from the rail and checks the little tag then faces her. He gives a small wave.
"That's what it says, yeah."
He leans against the railing and looks up at him, "I love flowers, if you can't tell." She giggles and it's music in his ears. The kind that sticks in his brain and he'll keep hearing over and over.
"No, I can't," he chuckles. "Wouldn't mind a few pointers. Kinda new at this."
"Well, I'd start by keeping the cat out of them," she points and he turns to find Alpine digging in a pot.
"Right," he mutters. "Thanks."
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bonnie-the-butcher · 1 day ago
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Rip Tide | Chapter VI
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[ MDNI ] [ word count: 8.928 ] [ Masterlist ] 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬: Canonverse/Canon-Divergent; Dark! Content; NSFW (p in v, unprotected, implied m!masturbation); Strong Language; Cheating; Drug Use; Mentions of overdose; Some shades of Munchausen syndrome from dear old Rafe; Manipulation; Toxic, obsessive behaviour; Stalking; Violence; DUBCON/NONCON; My writing is really pretentious and English is not my first language, so please feel free to call me out in whichever grammar mistakes you might find find.
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | You and JJ have always been in each other's orbit. He's your brother’s best friend, the guy you've known your entire life. He was kind, protective, familiar. You never meant for the two of you to start hooking up. And you never meant for it to last so long. But when this boy you thought you'd come to know like the back of your hand turns out to be no better than the men he'd warned you about, you find yourself in the sights of the guy he hates most, regardless of wether you want that or not.
OMG Bonnie what is that? A JJ chapter? Yeah, maybe I went insane. Likes, asks, reblogs, and comments are always greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance for reading <3
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JJ takes a slow step forward, his shoulders rolling back, his fingers still coiled tight around the handlebars of his bike. There’s a heat rolling off of him, a barely contained energy that makes your stomach twist.
His gaze drifts over to you. The rage burning through his eyes as he climbs down, drifting through Rafe’ arms, how they wrap around you, how close he’s holding you to him. – What’s going on, huh? – His voice is taught, barely restrained. You think of the hiss a rattlesnake makes before pouncing, the barely restrained violence simmering under each sound. – What are you doing here?
– I could ask you the same thing, Maybank. – Rafe hums. You call his name, trying to reel him back before it gets dangerous, but he seems entertained more than anything. – We’re a little far from the salvation army. Not much for you to do around here.
– Rafe!
The kook holds your hand to his chest when you push him, smiling down at you like it’s the funniest thing in the world. – I’m just having a little fun with him, that’s all.
– Get off of her, Rafe.
He’s looking at you with a focus that’s never a good sign, but don’t miss the way his eyes flick to where Rafe’s hand still lingers at your waist. The moment stretches, thick with the weight of his anger, but you can’t bring yourself to move first.
Rafe doesn’t bother hiding his grin. If anything, it grows, slow and deliberate, like this is the most fun he’s had all night. – Why? You scared she won’t come back when she realizes there’s more to life than being leeched off of by her brother’s friends?
– Rafe, this isn’t funny.
– JJ must think it is, it’s the only thing he does well. – Rafe drawls, tilting his head as he finally steps back from you—but not without dragging his fingers along your side, a pointed reminder. – Right, JJ?
JJ’s lips press into a thin line. His fingers flex around the handlebars, his nostrils flaring as he exhales hard through his nose. His gaze cuts to you now, sharp and demanding. – What the hell are you doing with this asshole?
His voice grates you. Every word echoing in your head like nails on a chalkboard.
– This is none of your business, JJ.
He doesn’t even pretend to hear you. – Kie told me what happened at work. We were all worried about you.
You open your mouth, but Rafe hums before you can speak, stepping in again, loose and easy, barely putting in effort but still commanding all the space between you. – Worried? Were you worried that you’re finally gonna have to get a job and deal with your own shit?!
– You don’t know what you’re talking about, okay?! Shut the fuck up!
– Or what? Are you gonna freeload off of me too?
JJ moves before you can stop him. His bike crashes to the pavement as he lunges, fists already clenched, fury twisting his face. Rafe barely shifts, like he’s been expecting this all along, like he’s been waiting for the moment he can finally push JJ over the edge.
– THIS SHIT ISN’T ABOUT YOU RAFE!
You step in fast, hands catching JJ’s arm before he can swing, your pulse hammering. – JJ, don’t. Fuck off. Don’t fucking do this right now.
– He’s the one who needs to fuck off! We’re talking right now, it’s none of his fucking business! – His breath is ragged, his muscles stiff under your grip. But Rafe just grins, smug and taunting, eyes alight with something dark. – Tell him to go away.
– You can’t tell me that yourself? Is that how much of a bitch you are, JJ?
JJ lunges, nearly pushing you into the asphalt by mistake. Rafe’s the one that catches you, his hand steadying you as you hold JJ back. – LET GO OF ME!
– JJ step the fuck back, I’m not even kidding you.
– He started it!
Rafe whistles lowly, laughing just under his breath as his arm wraps around you again. – Your brother really knows how to pick them, doesn’t he?
– Not helping, Rafe.
– I’m just trying to enjoy myself while you talk him down from his tantrum. I’m great.
– Stop fucking talking to her like that!
– Or what? You gonna hit me? – He muses, tilting his head, like the thought actually amuses him. – Go ahead, man. Take your shot. I bet it’ll feel real good.
JJ’s jaw tightens, his arm twitching under your hold. You can feel the war inside him, the barely restrained urge to throw that punch, to finally give Rafe the fight he’s clearly asking for.
But you don’t let go.
And JJ doesn’t swing.
For a second, the only sound is the thick silence between you.
Then Rafe sighs, exaggerated and disappointed. – Shame, – He mutters, stepping back, shaking his head like JJ’s let him down. – I was really hoping you’d play along, JJ. It’s been what? A week since you last got arrested? Has it ever been so long? I bet they’re missing you down at the station.
He flashes a grin at you, sharp and knowing, before brushing past, hands moving over your back like he owns you. – Y’know what, baby? We should really get going. I’m getting kinda bored.
– You’re out of your fucking mind if you think she’s going anywhere with you.
– JJ. – You warn, but he doesn’t seem to hear you.
– She came here with me, buddy. Maybe you wanna look around you. – He glances at you, blue eyes gleaming as he takes you by the arm. – C’mon. It’s getting late, right? Your brother’s probably struggling to figure out the oven right now.
– You don’t know what the fuck your talking about. – JJ growls.
– You’re gonna go home with this pogue? –The question comes out in a hum, almost condescendingly. His laughter thrills up your spine like a shiver of fear. – You’re gonna let him strongarm you like this?
You swallow, breathing in deep.
Rafe’s grip on your arm tightens, fingers warm against your skin, but you don’t move. His smirk twitches—just barely—before he tilts his head, watching you with curiosity, even if the smile he’s giving you doesn’t seem too pleased.
JJ notices too. He exhales sharply, barely holding himself together. – You’re not leaving with him.
His voice is low, coarse. And he’s clinging, moving his arms within your hold like a whiny kid. But it’s not a plea. It’s a demand.
Rafe hums under his breath, low and pleased, like this is all going exactly how he wanted. – She’s not staying for you, JJ. – He flicks his gaze over, like he’s looking at something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. – You have John B’s useless ass to thank for her not leaving with me right now.
JJ clenches his jaw so tight you swear you hear his molars crack. – Shut the fuck up, Rafe.
Rafe grins, slow and knowing. – I will if she makes me. Right, baby? Maybe you can give me a goodnight kiss before I go.
JJ takes a step forward, but you press a hand to his chest, stopping him. He seethes, nostrils flaring, but you shake your head. – Just go, Rafe. Please. – Your voice isn’t sharp—it’s tired, annoyed.
And that’s exactly why Rafe thrives on it.
He tsks, squeezing your waist in his hold on you before pulling his keys from his pocket. – That’s okay. We’ll have plenty of time for that tomorrow, right? – He leans in, voice dipping lower. – You can make it up to me.
You sigh, rubbing your temple. – Rafe—
– You’re cute when you get all flustered. – He laughs, tapping your chin with his knuckle. – I’ll call you later.
JJ lunges, and it takes everything in you to shove him back.
Rafe just whistles, all relaxed amusement, stepping back with an easy grin. – Damn, Maybank, you’re really gonna let her hold you back like that?
JJ is shaking in anger, chest heaving.
Rafe doesn’t wait for an answer. He shoots you a wink and a lazy salute before finally turning away, tossing over his shoulder, – Don’t miss me too much, baby.
JJ exhales sharply, shaking off your hold. His head drops for a second, his hands clenching at his sides before he looks at you, eyes blazing. – What the hell was that?
You swallow hard, the weight in your chest pressing down heavy. – JJ—
But he shakes his head. – Nah. No way. You don’t get to brush this off. – His voice is rough, disbelief coating every syllable. – Tell me you’re not— He stops himself, exhaling sharply again before taking a step back, shaking his head like he’s trying to make sense of it. – Tell me you’re not seriously falling for this shit.
You don’t know what to say.
Because maybe you don’t have an answer he wants to hear.
– Oh my God. – You don’t know what exactly in his face shifts, but you feel the air around you thicken. – You are, aren’t you?!
– Spare me the outrage, JJ. I’m not in the mood for your lectures.
– The guy is a fucking psychopath! There’s no fucking way you do’t see that! He’s insane!
You roll your eyes, a sigh falling from your lips before you can think of it. – You say that like you’re some sort of model of normalcy.
– I can’t fucking believe you!
– I don’t fucking need you to believe me, JJ. Clearly you fucking don’t. It doesn’t matter what I say, you already have your pitchfork ready! So what exactly am I supposed to be getting out of this?! Huh? Tell me. – A beat of silence lingers between you, as you turn your back on him. It’s long past 6 PM. The sky is pitch-black. – Can we just go? I don’t wanna do this.
You can see the gears turn in his head when you speak. His eyes soften, jaw unclentching. – I’m trying to look out for you. – You scoff. – Look, I know you’re stressed and all, but you don’t need to be taking it out on me, okay?! Chill out.
– Thanks, Mother Teresa. I feel much calmer now.
– Can we just put down the boxing gloves, right now?!
– I don’t know JJ, can we? I can’t put my guard down with you for a moment. Because that’s what you do. You tell me I should calm down, and when I do, you come up with some insane shit to piss me off all over again!
JJ watches you, chest still rising and falling like he’s trying to catch a breath that won’t come. Then his expression shifts—like something clicks into place, like he’s realizing something he doesn’t like.
His lips curl, his tongue running over the inside of his cheek. – Are you serious? – His voice is quieter now, almost disbelieving. – This is where we’re at?
You shake your head, swallowing back the lump in your throat. – I don’t want to do this right now, JJ.
– Oh, that’s rich. You don’t wanna do this right now? – He lets out a sharp, humorless laugh. – You wanna pick a better time? Should I make an appointment? Because it’s like you never have time for me these days! You’ll speak your mind, talk all the game you fucking want, but when it’s time to talk about my feelings, suddenly you’re too tired to deal!
Your stomach twists.
JJ scoffs. – You know, I keep trying. I keep trying to get through to you, and you just— He stops, shakes his head again, shoving a hand through his hair like that’ll help get rid of some of the frustration bleeding off of him.
– Trying to what, JJ? What is it that you’re trying to get through to me so much? That I can’t even talk to people while you go around fucking whatever girl you want? – The words come out before you can stop them.
– That’s funny, I don’t remember leaving with your mortal enemy!
– And I don’t remember kissing your best friend after leaving your bed, JJ. But here we are!
JJ goes still.
For a second, neither of you speak.
Then he exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head like you’ve just confirmed something he was trying not to believe. – There you go again, – He mutters, half in laughter, half in scorn. – You’re insane. Like. You’re actually sick in the fucking head. You and Rafe are perfect for each other. Maybe that’s why you’re here right? I was too normal, so you got bored. And that’s why you’re here in the Country Club, fucking that psychopath!
You stare at him, heart still pounding, but there’s something else gnawing at the edges of your mind now—something off. Something you didn’t notice in the heat of it all.
The country club.
You’re not at your job.
You’re not at home.
You’re not even on your side of the island.
Your stomach twists again.
– JJ, – you start, voice quieter now.
But he doesn’t hear it, or he doesn’t care. He scoffs again, throwing his hands in the air as he turns away, pacing. – I should’ve known. I should’ve listened to John B. He always said you were fucking twisted! But leave it to me! It’s my fault or thinking you could act like a person for once!
Your pulse stutters.
You don’t even register his words.
You don’t remember telling him where you were.
Your job isn't anywhere near the Country Club. You didn’t text him. You didn’t call him.
So how did he find you?
Your skin prickles as you stare at him, the words barely coming out. – JJ... how did you know I was here?
– What?! – He laughs, like you’ve just said something stupid, but you’re not gonna let him do this. Keeping your face neutral, even while your blood runs cold, you repeat:
– How did you know where I was? – He looks at you for a moment, frozen in place. You don’t even see him breathe. But the thoughts run wild behind his eyes, his mouth hanging open, unable to keep up with the speed at which his mind is running. – Answer me. How did you know I was here, JJ?
– I— He swallows, looking between each of your eyes frantically. – I was gonna pick you up at work,
– At a quarter to seven PM? You know I get the bus. It leaves at 5:20. You know that.
– Why are you making a big deal out of this?! I was driving to the wreck and I saw you here—
– No you weren’t. The wreck is East. To get here, you need to be going West.
He’s quiet again.
– Are you following me? How did you even— Realization dawns on you. JJ and John had your phone all day after you left. The notification you saw when you finally got it back, was from your maps app, which you’ve never opened in your life. You pull your phone out of your pocket. The location is on, but you don’t remember activating it. You open your messages. The latest contact is JJ. But you haven’t texted him in days. The chat is empty. – You sent my phone location to yourself, didn’t you? You and John are fucki— Your voice dies within your throat. The hair at the back of your neck standing. – John doesn’t have my password, though.
– You’re acting insane.
– How the fuck did you figure out my password, JJ? It’s a thousand characters long. I expect that shit from Pope, but— You stop again, opening your settings. A second fingerprint is set there, next to yours. – What the fuck is wrong with you?
– Don’t turn this around right now!
– That’s rich, JJ! And I’m the one who’s insane?! You’re a fucking stalker!
JJ scoffs, but it’s different now—less angry, more… wounded. Like you just slapped him in the face instead of uncovering something deeply fucked up. He shakes his head, stepping back like he needs distance from you.
– Are you serious right now? – His voice is quieter, rougher. – After everything?
You stare at him, blood still thrumming in your ears. – After everything? JJ, you just—
– No, you don’t get it. You don’t fucking get it. – He lets out a breathless laugh, dragging his hand down his face. – I knew something was off. I knew you were pulling away. I knew you were sneaking around, lying to me—
– I’m pulling away because you’re messing around with Kie!
– I’m not! Baby, I— He’s slapping himself, pulling out his hair. – I was trying to make you jealous, okay?! I just want you to pay attention to me! But you’re either glued to your phone talking to Barry, or you’re around John B, doing everything for him, everything I want you to do for me!
– What the fuck are you talking about?! He’s my fucking brother, JJ!
– BUT HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT! – He screams, the vitriol burning against his lips like acid. – He was always horrible to you, and I was there! I was there! I wanted you!
– What are you talking about?! You’ve hated me since we were kids!
– NO! I— I wanted you to look at me. I just wanted you to—Please. Just look at me, okay? I don’t want you sneaking around with Barry or with Rafe, or whatever! I want you here! With me!
– Sneaking around—JJ, you broke into my fucking phone—
– Because you wouldn’t fucking talk to me! – His voice cracks on the last word, and it throws you for a second—because the anger is still there, but there’s something else now, something desperate. His hands are in his hair, gripping like he’s holding himself together. – Do you even hear yourself? Do you even care? Or are you just gonna act like I’m some fucking psycho and not the guy who’s been there for you? The guy who—who has wanted you since I was kid?!
Your breath catches.
JJ exhales sharply, jaw clenching like he hates himself for saying it, for letting it slip out in the middle of this.
– You were there for me. – He continues. – When your brother couldn’t be. When my dad started— When he drank. You remember that, don’t you? You took care of me. You always took care of me. John B couldn’t get that! Even if he tried, y’know, who knows, maybe he did! But he was always this golden boy! Your dad, he— He treated him like he could do no wrong— He’d never get it. But you did! You always got me!
You’re quiet. Because you remember.
You remember taking a beating for JJ the day John sent you there to give him his surfboard. You remember laying there on the floor, his dad pulling you by the hair, because you stood there while JJ ran. You remember the face he made when his dad threw you out.
How he fell apart in your arms.
How you remained there, holding him, as he bled through your clothes.
And it tears you apart.
Because the way he spoke to you before, is exactly the way his father used to speak to him.
– But yeah. Sure. I’m the stalker. I’m the crazy one. – He laughs bitterly, shaking his head. – You’re so fucking worried about me following you, but you don’t care that you’re running straight to him! – His eyes flash with something sharp, something dark. – You think he gives a shit about you? You think Rafe fucking Cameron isn’t watching your every move, waiting for you to fuck up so he can sink his claws in? Like Barry did? – He steps forward, voice lowering like he’s telling you some ugly secret.
Your heart jumps in your chest at the mention. JJ knows this is a low blow. – You don’t know anything about Barry and me.
– I know he hurt you. – He’s almost pleading. – He hurt you because you were with him, when you should’ve been with me.
– JJ—
– I did this to protect you. Let me protect you. Like you protected me.
There it is. The flip.
You feel like you might faint.
JJ exhales shakily, his fingers flexing like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands anymore. The anger is fizzling out, but what’s left is somehow worse—smaller. He looks at you, really looks at you, and suddenly it’s like all the fight drains out of him.
– I can’t keep doing this. – His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. He shakes his head, eyes flickering away like he’s embarrassed, like you’ve just torn him down completely. – I don’t—I don’t know how else to prove it to you. How else to make you see that I just wanted to keep you safe.
His shoulders drop. He looks exhausted.
– But you don’t believe me. You won’t ever fucking believe me, will you? – He laughs, but it’s hollow, broken. – It doesn’t matter what I do. Doesn’t matter that I would literally die for you—Jesus Christ, I would, and you don’t even fucking see it. I’d do anything for you, and you’re just standing there, looking at me like I’m a fucking monster.
You open your mouth, but nothing comes out.
– I mean—fuck, what am I supposed to do? Huh? – His voice cracks. His eyes are glassy now, but he swipes a hand over his face before anything can fall. – You want me to apologize? I will. You want me to beg? Fine. – He laughs breathlessly, shoulders shaking as he sinks down onto the curb like his body just gave up. – I’ll fucking beg.
Your stomach twists.
– Just— he exhales, hands clinging to your hips. – Can we go home? – His voice is so quiet now, so defeated. – Please. I don’t wanna fight anymore. I don’t wanna—fuck, I don’t even care. Just let me take you home. That’s all I want.
He looks up at you, and for the first time tonight, he looks fragile. Worn down. Like he’s carrying something too heavy for him, and the only thing keeping him from collapsing is you.
And God help you, part of you wants to believe him.
– JJ. – Your voice is sharp, but your hands are shaking. – This isn’t about that—this isn’t about you wanting to take me home. This is about what you did—
– I know! – he cuts in, his breath coming too fast, too uneven. His hands fist in his hair, like he’s trying to hold himself together by sheer force. – I know, okay? I fucked up, I fucking know— He stumbles over his own words, gasping, like the weight of it is physically pressing down on him. – But I can’t—
His voice breaks.
– I can’t lose you over this. Over Rafe fucking Cameron and his bullshit.
The air between you shifts. Something inside him just collapses.
– Please. – His chest is heaving, his eyes wet, his whole body trembling like he’s about to snap. – I don’t—I don’t know how to make you stay. I don’t know how to fix this. – His voice cracks again, and this time, his knees buckle.
You barely have time to react before he’s falling into you, grabbing fistfuls of your clothes, his breath hitching against your belly. His whole body is shaking.
– I’m sorry. – His words spill out in a frantic, broken rush. – I’m so fucking sorry. Please—please don’t go. Just—just let me take you home, baby, please—
His arms tighten around you, like if he holds on hard enough, he can force you to stay. And God, you shouldn’t. You should push him away, make him listen, make him answer for this.
But he’s crying.
JJ Maybank—loud, reckless, impossible JJ—is sobbing into you like a little kid, like he’s breaking apart right in front of you.
You inhale shakily, your hands hovering before you finally give in, falling before him on the ground, wrapping your arms around him, pressing your cheek against his hair.
– It’s okay, – you whisper, even though it isn’t. Even though nothing is.
But it’s all he wants to hear.
JJ exhales sharply, his whole body collapsing into yours with something like relief. – Don’t leave me.
– I won’t.
And maybe you mean it.
Maybe that’s the scariest part.
You let him fall apart against you, his body wracked with silent tremors as he clings to you like a lifeline. His breath is uneven, ragged, hot against your skin, and his fingers fist into your top, desperate, like letting go isn’t an option. He presses closer, his whole body sinking into yours, like he’s trying to disappear inside you, like that’s the only place he might be safe.
And you let him. You hold him as his shoulders shake, as he fights to keep from outright sobbing, as the weight of whatever broke him presses down so hard you swear you can feel it, too. He’s unraveling in your arms, piece by piece, like he’s been holding himself together for so long that the second you touched him, he lost the strength to keep pretending.
So you kiss the top of his head, soft but steady, and something in him shifts.
JJ exhales, a long, shuddering breath against your skin, like you’ve reached inside him and pulled all that tension from his chest. His body, wound so tightly, begins to loosen—his grip on you eases, but only enough for his hands to smooth over your back instead of clutching desperately. He leans into you now not just from pain, but from something quieter, something softer.
You feel it in the way his breathing slows, in the way the tremors start to fade as your fingers trace slow circles over his back. His arms tighten around you again, but it’s different this time—not frantic, not desperate. Just… needing you. Needing to be here, against you, in your warmth, in this small, quiet moment where he can finally let go.
His face stays buried in the crook of your neck, and when he speaks, his voice is hoarse but steady.
– I’m sorry, – He murmurs, again and again, lips moving against your skin.
You shake your head slightly, your fingers still stroking his back. – It’s okay.
And maybe for him, it actually is. Maybe just for a moment, with your hands in his hair and his body wrapped around yours, he feels something like peace. He doesn’t let go—not yet. He holds on, reveling in the comfort you offer, pressing into you like he never wants to leave. Like you’re the first real breath of air he’s had in a long time.
You stay like that, until the silence grows too heavy and you sigh. – We should go.
JJ doesn’t argue. He pulls back slowly, blinking, his eyes still red-rimmed but calmer, softer. His fingers linger at your waist before he finally steps up, exhaling like he’s reluctant to leave the space you created for him.
The drive is quiet, with him pulling your arms tighter around him everytime he gets the chance. You don’t protest. For a moment it's almost comforting, sitting on the back of his bike, without a word being spoken between you. But the feeling sits there, in your chest, that shiver you got when you realized he’s been following you.
It's not just caution.
It's not strangeness.
It's fear. A real, tangible fear of what he did, of what he can still do. Of what he might have continued doing had you not realized it. —It curls up around your throat, that fear. Pressing against your windpipe. You almost struggle to breathe.— You remain there, arms fastened around him as he slows down, pulling the brakes just before your house, even when he finally stops.
JJ leans back into you, breathing deep, clutching your hand to his chest, his body completely relaxed against yours. You’re still wondering. Mind still running.
How long had he followed you for?
Had he been trailing you? Close behind, just out of reach, or had he stared at your location, waiting, watching you without seeing you?
You don’t know which is worse.
– John B’s with Sarah tonight. – JJ mumbles, his head thrown back against your shoulder, the ends of his hair tickling your face. – I saw him sneak out. He’s probably gonna sleep there. – You hum, not really sure of what to say. – Pope and Kie are gone too. – His thumb brushes over the back of your hand slowly, his voice growing deeper, lower. – It’s just the two of us now.
You don’t say anything.
You don’t know what to say.
JJ looks back as you throw your leg over the other side of the bike, and climb down. He still clings to your hand like he’s got you on a leash: you have to remain there as he pulls the key from the ignition, as he sets his things in the top-box, as he leans back against the seat, pulling you in for a kiss.
You meet his mouth briefly, close-lipped, his fingers interlocking with yours as he pulls you in for another, and another, and one more. – I missed this. – He whispers, eyes barely open, already leaning in again.
– It’s been two days. – You remind him, but JJ only laughs.
– Two too many.
You don’t resist when he pulls you closer. His hands find your hips, sliding beneath the waistband of your jeans, calloused fingers pressing into the small of your back like he’s trying to mold you against him. He kisses you again—deeper, messier, his breath warm and tinged with something desperate.
JJ doesn’t just want this. He needs it.
That's what you like about him. He takes like he can’t get enough. He begs, and he grasps and he clings and he needs you like he needs air to breathe.
His hands are restless, traveling up your ribs, down your waist, over your thighs, like he’s trying to make up for lost time, like touching you might steady him, might ground him. But it doesn’t. The more he touches you, the more insatiable he gets. He’s humming against your lips, sighing into your touch, a little frantic, a little unsteady.
You pull him inside, but JJ can’t seem to break the kiss. He takes your hands to the hem of his shirt, tugging impatiently, his lips dragging from your mouth to your jaw to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your skin between whispered pleas.
– Touch me, – he breathes, his voice cracking like the weight of everything is still right there, lingering beneath the surface.
Your fingers slip into his hair, threading through the strands, and JJ shudders. He melts against you, knees almost buckling as he exhales a sharp, shaky breath.
– Fuck, – he mumbles, almost laughing, giddy and drunk on your touch. He’s clinging to you now, pressing his body into yours, murmuring against your lips, deeper, please, until you give in, kissing him the way he wants. The way he needs.
He moans softly, hands gripping your waist, pushing your top up just to feel your skin against his palms. He’s lost in this, lost in you, smiling against your mouth in that dazed, breathless way, like nothing else exists beyond the way your body fits against his.
Like everything is fine.
Even it isn’t, not really.
You lead him to your room, kicking the door behind you as he falls back on the bed, tearing his shirt off of him as if it were burning. He doesn’t even give you the time to think before he’s pulling you on top of him.
You try to guide him through the motions, letting his hands explore, letting him pull you closer, letting him bury his face in your neck, all while your mind is somewhere else. Detached. Floating.
Because underneath it all—beneath the heat of his mouth and the weight of his body and the way he pleads for you like you’re the only thing keeping him from falling apart—there’s that feeling.
That cold, creeping thing at the back of your mind.
That fear.
It wraps around your throat, pressing tight, squeezing, reminding you of what he did. Of how long he must have followed you, watching, waiting, just out of reach.
Of how much worse it could’ve been if you hadn’t noticed.
JJ doesn’t see it. He doesn’t feel it. He only sees you, only feels your hands, your lips, the comfort he’s so desperate to take from you.
– I missed this, – he murmurs again, voice slurring slightly, hands still moving, still searching. – Fuck, baby I missed this so much.
You swallow hard, exhaling slowly, before finally answering.
– I know.
And you let him keep touching you, let him revel in this, let him have this, because maybe if he does, he’ll calm down. Maybe if he does, you’ll feel safe again.
JJ exhales against your skin, his body completely unwound, pliant beneath your hands. – Take it off. – He groans, hands shaking against his breeches. – Take it off of me, baby. Please. I just want you to be on me. I need it. Please.
You don’t need to be told twice.
He watches, almost breathless while you strip him bare, moaning at every touch, hips bucking every time you brush against him.
That doesn’t last long though.
It isn’t enough that just your hands are on him. So he drags you onto his dick, still clothed, and he grinds himself into you, eyes rolling back.
There’s something raw about the way he touches you—like he’s savoring every inch, like he’ll be going through withdrawal unless he doesn’t hold on tight enough. His fingers dig into your sides as he pulls your hips into his, his laugh breathy, almost delirious.
– God, I fucking love this, – he mutters against your shoulder, his hands slipping beneath your top, his thumbs brushing lazy circles over your skin.
This.
Not you—this.
The warmth. The closeness. The way you let him touch you, take what he needs. – You love this too, right baby? Your hips— He moans, head thrown back when you roll your hips against his cock, the fabric of your jeans giving just the friction he needs to work himself up. – You're so fucking good at this.
You squeeze your eyes shut as he kisses up your throat, his lips tracing familiar paths, his breath hot and unsteady. He hums when you card your fingers through his hair again, pressing into your touch like he’s melting from the inside out.
He's getting wilder, humping you with this reckless abandon he never seems to shake off. But you can see him unraveling. Just the friction isn't scratching the itch.
He needs more.
– Take it off, baby. Please. Please. – he sighs, voice catching, eyes blown out. – Fuck, give it to me. Just ride me.
You hesitate. Your fingers still against the nape of his neck. The sounds he makes, strangled, anguished. Like he’s going mad.
You actually hear him whine when you lift your hips, and his hand flies down to palm himself while he watches you pull the jeans down.
He tilts his head up, catching your mouth again, dragging you deeper into him. His hands slide down, gripping the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer until he's practically in you.
But you don’t let him sink in just yet.
It's more fun when you drag it out.
When you move against him, teasing him, watching him twitch and moan and plead with nothing but the wetness, the softness, the warmth.
There’s a slow, creeping sickness curling in your stomach.
Because you’re leading this. Because you know what he needs, and you’re not quite giving it to him. Because you’re letting him press closer, letting him unravel, letting him forget—for just a little while—that anything is wrong at all.
And a part of you wants to forget too.
It feels good.
It doesn’t matter what he did, what he would do, because he needs you. He can’t get enough of you. He won't leave.
– Please. Please. – He repeats it like a mantra, writhing beneath you, clutching you so fucking tight. His hips go rogue, bucking wildly. – Please let me fuck you. I need to fuck you. Please. Fuck, I can't take this anymore!
The laughter that falls from your lips almost seems to stoke the flames.
He groans out loud when tip pushes into you, and for a second, his entire body just collapses against yours, heavy, needy.
Then his hands slip under your bra again, tugging at the fabric, his breath hot and desperate against your skin.
– Let me see you, – he murmurs, voice thick, rough. – G-Go ahead, baby. I need you to move. Please.
You pull back slightly, meeting his gaze. His pupils are blown wide, his lips kiss-swollen, his expression open in a way that makes you ache.
JJ wants you. That much is obvious.
But more than that—he wants to disappear into you.
To sink into your warmth, your touch, your body, and let it drown out whatever’s eating him alive from the inside.
Your stomach twists.
His fingers have long stopped tracing slow patterns against your ribs, now he's bruising you, nails digging in, shaking, waiting. Pleading.
You could give him what he wants. It would be easy. So, so easy.
But for the first time since this started, you wonder if you should. – And who said you deserve that, JJ?
– Huh?
– Because with the way you talked to me before, I don’t think you do. – You move, just slightly, and he folds, back arching. – I think you’re gonna have to convince me.
– Please. Baby, please.
– You think I'm pathetic. – You tsk, your hips rolling so slow his eyes flutter when they roll back. – I'm not the one who’s begging, though.
– Please! – He's screaming now, and you’re moving faster. The bed creaking beneath you. – I need it! Faster, baby. Faster!
He's splayed out, a puppet with the strings cut loose, yet he's anything but relaxed. You can feel him tensing, hands fisting the sheets so tight his knuckles have gone white.
He screams.
Almost yelping when you start going at the pace you know he likes. And it still isn't enough. He still grabs your hips, pulling you closer, and closer, again and again, banging against that soft spot within you like it's the only thing that can relieve him from this torture.
And you let him.
You ride him like a bronco, as if he’s trying to fuck you off instead of closer. As if he isn't begging for it. Screaming for it. – MORE, BABY, PLEASE!
You want more too.
At some point you lost yourself in trying to punish him, and it started to feel good. You're biting him, teeth dragging against the skin at the crook of his neck, the spot that always makes him shudder, that always makes him writhe.
Your nails have mapped half his body over.
He's red. —His face, his eyes, his lips, his scratches.— He’s gasping. Shaking. His whole body trembling, his eyes rolling back. You can’t even make sense of what he's saying anymore.
The only thing that leaves his mouth are these incoherent pleas, these oohs and aahs that make you laugh, humming to yourself as you ride into your orgasm, feeling him fall apart.
– F-uck, fuck! Don’t stop! Feels so fucking good baby, so fucking good! – He pushes it in faster, but it's still not enough. He needs more, he was going mad! Grabs you by the waist, tosses you on the bed, rutting like a wild dog, head thrown back, eyes rolling upwards. – Fuck! Fuck! Feel s-feel so fucking good!
All that was heard was your laughter, the pleased little gasps that escape your mouth as he fills you up over and over and over again, animalistic and heaving, laughing as well, but out of his mind, completely overwhelmed by the pleasure, by the building release. He crashes against you, once, twice, getting careless. But by then he couldn’t hold it in. More! More! is all you heard from him.
And then you felt it.
His body shudders all over again, still rutting like his life would end. – God. God! I need to cum— fuck! I need— I need— Keep going! Don’t fucking stop baby, don— FUCK! FUCK!
You felt him coat your walls, white, hot, and endless. By then, you were shaking as well, the waves of your own climax washing over you as you arch against him.
He collapses over you, trembling and crying as he smiles, moaning your name in that shaky, adoring voice, eyes clinging to you in utter joy as he pumped lazily, through your climax and his, he still needed more of you. – It won-won’t stop. Fuck, there’s so m-much of it. – Laughter. Yours, his.
Your mind is blank.
He's heavy, heaving, still inside you.
JJ's breathing is ragged, each exhale a shaky whisper as he remains, still there, still trembling with the aftershocks. His hands wander aimlessly across the sheets, his body warm and heavy, as though he's been consumed entirely. His eyes are half-lidded, unfocused, and a soft whimper escapes him as he reaches for your hand.
– Baby... can you...? – His voice is slurred, broken, as if he’s still caught between the pleasure and the exhaustion of it all. His hand gently tugs at your wrist, his fingers brushing against your skin. – Just... touch me. Please... softly.
There was that, too.
He was always sweeter when he was done.
You give a soft, reassuring smile, your fingers gently grazing his messy hair, pushing the strands out of his face, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, lingering for a moment before you speak in the same soft, soothing tone. – I’m here, JJ. I got you.
He hums in response, his eyes fluttering closed, a content sigh escaping his lips as you run your fingers through his hair, the action slow and comforting. – I’m... Fuck— Laughter buzzes against your skin as he presses his lips on you again. – I'm never getting used to this... I’m not used to this, – he mumbles between shaky breaths, his hand coming to rest on your arm, the weight of his touch grounding him. – Feels... too good. I need you to... keep me close. Just... just a little longer.
You hate the way your heart skips.
But you love the way he says it.
The way his voice brushes against your skin when he pleads, so softly, so sweetly. Like he could never do you harm.
You shift slightly, pulling him into your chest, the warmth of his body a constant reassurance. His hand rests over your heart, the frantic pace of his pulse now slowing, but his face is still pinched with that lingering tension, a mix of exhaustion and need for reassurance. He lets out a soft groan as you press your lips to his temple, whispering, – I’m right here. You’re okay.
His breath evens out, and as the minutes pass, you keep stroking his hair and kissing his head, each kiss lighter than the last, until his body relaxes fully, his grip on you loosens. – Love you.
You feel yourself tense up.
It’s not the first time he says it.
But it might be the first time you know he doesn’t mean it.
Still you smile down at him anyway, pressing another gentle kiss to his forehead before whispering back, – Sure you do, baby. Go to sleep, okay?
He doesn’t need much encouragement.
JJ's never been easy to tire out, but when he does, it's immediate. His ear is pressed to your chest, to your heart, and you wonder what kind of dreams he’ll be having with that soundtrack, but it doesn't take long for his breath to even out.
The house is quiet.
Completely so.
And though you're glad John wasn't there to hear it, laying there, without his snoring to lull you into even halfway into reality only means that it crashes against you like a bucket of cold water a soon as JJ is out.
The day dawns on you, as it has done several times, but still the loathing blooms in your chest and spreads through your body faster than your mind can process.
You're broke.
You're jobless.
The girl you thought was your best friend is a snake.
The boy that's sleeping on you is a stalker.
Your best prospect right now is famously the most spoiled and volatile person on the island. That, because your best friend, the person that could actually get you out of this, has faded away after abandoning you, and you have no idea if he’ll even come back.
What's funny is that this is the thought that hurts you most —Not that you're unemployed, that your now previous boss could ruin you forever, that your relationship with only family member is as unstable as your financial situation, or that the people you thought you could trust don’t care about you— that Barry is gone.
Something he has been plenty of times before.
You lie there in the stillness, the weight of JJ's body pressing against yours. The sheets feel too warm, too much, a world you can’t find a way into. JJ’s steady breathing is a lullaby of sorts, pulling you toward the edge of exhaustion, but it’s not enough to quiet the thoughts tumbling relentlessly in your head.
Barry's absence gnaws at you —You know he’s not gone forever, not really. Or at least you hope so. He’s done this before, pulled away just long enough for you to convince yourself it doesn’t matter. And yet, it hurts like it does. Like it’s different this time.
You turn your head to glance at him—JJ, still sleeping soundly, unaware. His face is soft, the usual edge to his features dulled by exhaustion, but even now, with him so vulnerable in your arms, you feel the invisible distance between you grow. He’s a comfort, but only in the way a warm blanket can make you feel safe when the storm is too loud. And it is too loud. So loud you can barely breathe through it.
Your fingers trace patterns along his skin, but it’s absent, mechanical—the world outside the room, the boy in your arms, the life that’s slipping from your fingers, and the ghost that won’t stop haunting you, and you don't even know why.
Barry.
You know, deep down, that it’s not about him being gone. It’s about the fact that, despite what JJ has just tried to convince you of, Barry actually is the one person that was there for you.
When your father went away, he celebrated with you. When he was declared missing, he comforted you, even if you said you didn't care. Even if you didn't even know you needed it.
And maybe that's the problem: He saw you better than you saw yourself. He knows you. Really knows you.
But does he now?
So much has changed in two days.
You can’t even tell yourself it was real anymore because everything you thought you knew about him, about you, is shifting—becoming something else you can’t identify.
There’s no way to put a name to it, though, is there? That dull ache you’ve learned to live with. Not quite loneliness, but not contentment, either. Just an empty space where hope used to live, and you're so used to it now that you don’t know what it would feel like to fill it.
You let your gaze fall to JJ again, watching the way his back rises and falls with the easy rhythm of sleep. Maybe this is it—this is what you have now. A boy who doesn’t even know what he’s asking for when he whispers his need into the quiet night. And you, too tired to push him away, too lost to turn to anything else. You can almost convince yourself it’s enough, and for a second, you do.
But then, Barry’s face flickers in your mind again, like a ghost.
You wonder, just for a moment, if you would’ve been able to say anything if he were here. If you would’ve told him how much you needed him to help you, how much you needed him to be here, not just physically, but with you in the way that only he ever did.
But he’s not here.
And you’re not sure when he will be again.
The buzz of your phone slices through the silence. You freeze. What's the likelihood that he would call you right then, when you needed him most?
You slide from under JJ, and he grumbles, hands reaching for you even deep into sleep, but you don’t see it. All you see is the unknown number flashing on your screen amidst the darkness, and your heart races as you bring the phone to your ear. – Bee? – The word falls from your lips almost fearfully. You don’t want to know where he's been, what he's doing, or how much of what he had to take to call you like this, in the middle of the night. But you’re impatient to hear his voice, you just want to know if he's okay. – Bee, is that you?
The line scratches softly, the familiar sound of skin whispering against the microphone echoing in-between the two phones. Your pulse thrums against your ear. – Not bee. – You finally hear. – Are, actually.
– “Are”? Barry, what are you talking about? What did you take?
– It’s not Barry, baby. – The edge of his words resounded even through the distance. Pleased, but not quite satisfied. – It’s Rafe.
You let go of a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.
– Oh, “R”. Okay I got it.
He chuckles, a long, breathy noise. His breathing is heavy. – Did you put the cry-baby to sleep or is he still up whining?
JJ turns in his sleep. His arm, still lying, lax, over your lap shifts, and he pulls himself closer, brow brushing against your thigh. – JJ is… gone.
– Good. Thought I was gonna have to call CPS or some shit. – He scoffs, turning, in bed, you gather, since you hear the squeak of furniture.
– How considerate.
– Well, baby, I'm nothing if not considerate. – He hums. – What are you doing awake?
Regretting your life decisions, pondering the benefits of suicide. – Thinking of you. – It was meant to be a joke, but it didn’t sound like one as it slipped from your lips.
There's half a second of silence from him before you hear that laugh again, like you shocked him.
Rafe Cameron was shocked.
That's definitely a headline.
You can almost hear the smirk on his face. – I was thinking about you too, baby. What are you wearing?
You scoff, almost rolling your eyes. – Rafe.
He laughs again, even breathier. – Sorry. Was that too soon? – His bed creaks again. – You don’t seem like the kind of girl who needs a lot of foreplay.
– Hilarious.
– I was really hoping you'd give me a taste of what you’re wearing tomorrow, though.
You look down almost unconsciously. The only thing covering your skin is sweat. – Definitely not what I'm wearing right now. Unless you're hiring for a job other than personal chef.
Rafe’s quiet again. He moves around. You can hear him breathing. – Maybe I am. What kind of job are you thinking?
– Well, aren’t you the little hiring agency? Should've met you before. There’s some things on my resume I'm definitely not proud of. – He laughs with you now, though there's something strange in his tone. – Did you talk to your governess, or that other guy you said you didn't know the name of?
– Did. We'll be waiting for you.
– Well, you call and I come. – He laughs at the double-entendre, another noise escaping his lips. – What time should I be there?
– How's 10 AM sound?
– Perfect, Rafe. Thank you. Again, really. I can’t thank you enough.
– You're welcome, baby. You really are. – He groans, the bed creaking. JJ moves around again, his head on your lap, hands around your knees, and he mumbles something unintelligible. – What was that?
– Sorry, uhm. Just… thinking out loud.
You swallow, but Rafe doesn’t miss a beat. – And what are you thinking about?
– About… What I'm gonna wear. – Improvising was never really your forte.
Rafe hums, a long stretch of the M, then something smaller, a sound you can't quite catch. – That skirt. – He sighs. – The blue pleated one.
You pause.
– What?
– It's pretty. – Is all he says, then a groan, or a purr. The phone falls on his pillow, you can hear it scratch against his skin as he moves. But the way he says it, as if he’s seen it a thousand times in the two days you've known each other, as if he can picture you wearing it right in front of him. – Fuck, baby. You’re so pretty.
The compliment grates at your ears.
How does he know your clothes?
You think of the skirt. Your blue pleated skirt. It's been ages since you've worn it. It's way too short. You’ve outgrown it a while ago. – What else, baby?
– Hm?
– What else are you wearing for me?
His bed creaks again, over and over, and he doesn’t say anything for a minute, he just sighs.
– I, uhm. I don’t know. – What even is this conversation?
– Far as I'm concerned you don't need to wear anything. You can come— He laughs, low and unsteady, a strangled “yeah” cutting through the word. – Come as you are.
You feel a trickle of repulse run down your back. You don’t wanna talk to him anymore. You don’t want to talk at all.
– Talk to me, baby. – He groans, again.
– I, uhm. – You kick the nightstand, the noise echoing loudly around your room. – Shit, uhm. Sorry, that's my brother. I'll see you tomorrow.
You kill the line before he can say anything else.
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@chatgtfo @bitterdotcom @sassyvillaintrophy @xmayankax @bluethperson @coralblue35 @munsoncultedits @the-bitch-who-binges @im-julessssss
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yaniluvs · 14 hours ago
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“nerds don't date , right?” ⎯ how to lose a bet and your heart in seven days.
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[ 정인 ] ✷ ‎. . things just get more interesting when you're fake-dating the hot nerd and are involved in a bet with him.
۫ 𖨂 𓈒 𝑛erdy!jeongin ₊ ‎ ‎ 𝑓em!reader ˙ . ꒷ g. fluff , humour , crack , forced proximity , classmates to lovers , uni au , fake dating , skz ensemble . 64OOw. ⎯⎯⎯ LiBRARY ⟢ cw. suggestive , as of now . ┆ 📹 ⋮ a y.jg mini series .ᐟ ֹ ₊
yani's note 𑁍ࠬܓ hihi >< so like, part two hehehehhehehe. this turned out to be literally double the wc from the previous one..... oh and i just crossed 8OO followers???? what???? like two posts ago i crossed 7OO, oh good lord, thank you so much!! comments, likes, req./asks and reblogs are always appreciated !! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading, love <3
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you had never seen jeongin this stressed in your uni year.
it had been barely a day since the dinner, and he was already acting like his life was spiraling out of control. not that you blamed him—you were a handful, after all. but still, the man looked like he was fighting for survival, while you?
you were thriving.
not only were you fake-dating him in front of his family, but thanks to him, you also had the perfect bet to keep things interesting.
and now? now, you were at the usual café on campus, sitting comfortably with your group—felix, ryujin, yeji, and minho—while absolutely basking in the aftermath of your deal with jeongin.
the blonde leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm. "so let me get this straight," he began, voice amused.
"you made a bet with the yang jeongin—topper, nerd, absolute try-hard—where you get to flirt with him for three whole months, and if he falls for you, you win?"
you grinned, stirring your latte lazily. "mhm."
ryujin raised a brow. "and if you lose?"
you waved a dismissive hand. "then he gets to ignore me forever, i guess."
yeji snorted. "as if he'd actually do that. boy’s definitely gonna lose."
minho, who had been silently observing all this time, sipped his americano before finally speaking. "you're really confident, huh?"
you flashed him a smirk. "min, have you met me? of course, i'm confident. i know he’s gonna fall for me. i learn from the best, you know."
felix grinned. "well, duh. everyone loves you."
yeji smirked. "hyunjin and jisung sure do."
ryujin laughed. "oh yeah, didn’t hyunjin say you were literally his type?"
you shrugged, fighting back a smirk. "maybe."
felix gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "oh my god. is this why jeongin is acting so feral? is he jealous?"
"no, he’s probably just pissed that i exist."
minho scoffed. "that’ll change soon enough."
"exactly," you said smugly. "so, obviously, i’m winning this bet. there’s no way i’m falling first."
your friends exchanged looks, all of them barely holding back their very obvious amusement.
"sure," yeji said, lips twitching.
"of course," ryujin agreed.
minho sipped his drink again. "i totally believe you."
felix just grinned. "this is gonna be fun."
meanwhile.
jeongin had never been this mentally exhausted in his life.
one dinner. one stupid dinner. that was all it was supposed to be.
now? now he was fake-dating y/n in front of his entire family and locked in a three-month bet that would undoubtedly ruin him.
and to make things worse? jisung, seungmin, hyunjin, aeri, and yunah were not helping.
"bro," hyunjin was saying, leaning against the café booth with a stupid grin, "you’re done for."
"over. finished." jisung added, looking way too entertained.
jeongin shot them both a glare. "i am not going to fall for her."
hyunjin raised an eyebrow. "really?"
seungmin, ever the realist, merely sighed. "jeongin, have you met y/n?"
"yes, seungmin," jeongin deadpanned. "i have. unfortunately.*"
yunah giggled, twirling her straw. "she’s really pretty, though."
aeri smirked. "and hot. and cute. and bold."
hyunjin nudged jeongin. "she literally calls you 'hot nerd.' i would’ve folded instantly." he said, dramatically putting a hand on his heart while pretending to faint.
jeongin shot him a disgusted look. "you have no standards."
jisung snorted. "and you have no chance."
"i hate all of you." (and we're back !!)
"no, you don’t," jisung said, grinning. "you hate that you know we’re right."
seungmin nodded. "statistically speaking, you're screwed."
"oh my god," jeongin muttered.
jisung clapped his hands together. "alright! place your bets! how long do we think it’ll take for jeongin to fall first?"
"two weeks," hyunjin said immediately.
"a month," aeri guessed.
yunah smirked. "three weeks, max."
"one week," jisung announced proudly.
jeongin slammed his drink down. "i hate every single one of you."
almost a week later.
you found jeongin in the library, because of course you did.
dressed in an oversized cream sweater, silver-rimmed glasses perched perfectly on his nose, black slacks, and expensive-looking loafers, he looked annoyingly good for someone who spent all his time studying.
unfortunately for him, you were here to ruin his peace.
sliding into the seat across from him, you grinned. "morning, iyennie."
jeongin didn’t even look up. "no."
you gasped dramatically. "no? that’s all i get? where’s my 'good morning, beautiful?' my 'you look stunning today, y/n'?"
jeongin exhaled sharply. "why are you here?"
you leaned forward on your elbows, smirking. "to see my lovely boyfriend, obviously."
jeongin twitched. "we are not fake-dating at uni."
you shrugged. "doesn’t mean i can’t flirt with you."
jeongin dragged a hand down his face. "i hate this bet."
"you literally proposed it, genius."
his jaw clenched. "i hate you."
you batted your lashes. "no, you don’t."
jeongin physically recoiled. "oh my god."
across the library, hyunjin and jisung sat at another table, watching the interaction with matching grins.
hyunjin nudged jisung. "one week?"
jisung smirked. "one week."
. . .
“i’ve decided that i’m going to end you.”
jeongin barely looked up from his notes. “cool. try not to be too obvious about it.”
“no, really,” you said, leaning forward across the library table, resting your chin on your hands as you stared at him. “i’m going to make your life miserable.”
jeongin finally glanced up, adjusting his silver-rimmed glasses with the most unimpressed expression you’d ever seen. “isn’t that what you’ve already been doing?”
you gasped, placing a dramatic hand over your chest. “wow. that was hurtful, iyen.”
jeongin twitched. “stop calling me that.”
you grinned. “make me.”
his fingers curled around his pen, and for a second, you wondered if he was genuinely considering launching it at your forehead.
the library was quiet, aside from the occasional whispers of students flipping through books, the dull hum of the air conditioning, and the muffled sounds of footsteps against the carpeted floor. your table was nestled in the back corner, surrounded by towering bookshelves and dim lighting that gave the whole setting a very academic romance kind of vibe—not that jeongin would ever admit that.
and, of course, the two of you weren’t alone.
like said earlier, across from you, at another table, were felix, ryujin, yeji, and minho, watching with way too much amusement.
they can't miss good entertainment, right?
and a few tables away, jisung, hyunjin, seungmin, aeri, and yunah, were also watching with expressions that ranged from entertained to downright smug.
because, honestly? no one believed jeongin was going to win this bet.
not even jeongin himself.
"are you done?" he asked, voice clipped, flipping a page in his notes.
you smirked. "not even close."
leaning back in your chair, you crossed one leg over the other, watching him with open interest. he was dressed as he always was—annoyingly fashionable for someone who didn’t seem to care about fashion. a fitted black turtleneck, an oversized houndstooth blazer, tailored slacks, and his signature silver-rimmed glasses that rested so perfectly on the bridge of his nose.
his black hair was slightly tousled, as if he’d been running his fingers through it in frustration all morning (which, knowing you, he probably had).
"you know," you mused, tilting your head, "if you weren’t so insufferable, i’d probably have a crush on you."
his pen hovered mid-air, his lips parting slightly before he turned to glare at you. "what?"
you shrugged. "what? i’m just saying. you’re kind of my type. hot. smart. dresses well. severely grumpy. i like a challenge."
jeongin’s eye twitched. "w—"
"oh my god," hyunjin suddenly groaned from across the room, throwing his head back. "can you two just kiss already?"
jeongin immediately choked on air.
your lips twitched as you turned to hyunjin. "not yet, jinnie. i have a bet to win, remember?"
hyunjin smirked. "oh, you will win. no doubt about it."
jisung laughed. "he’s already halfway there."
"this is a library, hello?" the librarian hissed.
"but we're the only ones here, miss y-"
jeongin slammed his book shut, stood up, and turned to you with murder in his eyes. "we’re leaving."
you blinked innocently. "we are?"
"yes." he grabbed your wrist and tugged you up from your seat, ignoring the very loud, very obnoxious oooohhhhhs coming from both friend groups.
felix gasped. "look at him. so dominant."
"i didn’t know he had it in him."
"they grow up so fast."
seungmin merely shook his head, unimpressed. "he’s just running away."
jeongin glared at all of them before practically dragging you out of the library.
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now playing, if you love me by colde
the late afternoon sun draped the campus in warm, honey-colored light, stretching long shadows across the pavement. the air was crisp but comfortable, carrying the faint scent of freshly brewed coffee from the campus café nearby. a few students walked past, caught up in their own conversations, but none of them paid much attention to the very mismatched pair walking down the sidepath.
jeongin was suffering.
because you were practically dragging him.
"y/n," he grumbled, his arm stiff as you held onto his wrist. "why are you like this?"
you hummed, pretending to think. "born this way, i guess?"
jeongin sighed, shaking his head. "no remorse. none at all."
"absolutely none," you confirmed cheerfully, still leading him forward.
he didn’t know where you were taking him. you probably didn’t either. but that didn’t seem to matter to you. it was just one of those things—where you decided something, and everyone else just had to go along with it.
he really should have thought this through before making that bet.
the sky was beginning to shift into soft hues of orange and almost blue when jeongin’s phone buzzed in his pocket. he pulled it out, glancing at the screen, and immediately stiffened.
his mom.
he stopped walking so abruptly that you almost crashed into him.
"whoa—" you blinked at him. "what’s wrong?"
he held up a finger. "be quiet."
you snorted. "like hell."
"y/n."
you grinned, unbothered, as he answered the call.
"hello?" jeongin said, his voice immediately shifting into something softer, more polite.
"oh, jeongin! how are you, sweetheart?"
you gasped dramatically beside him. sweetheart?
jeongin shot you a look. a warning. a plea.
you ignored it completely.
"hello, ms. yang!" you chirped before he could stop you, leaning in way too close to the phone. "how are you?"
there was a pause on the other end.
and then—
"oh, y/n, dear! how lovely to hear your voice!"
jeongin closed his eyes. no, no, no—
you beamed. "aw, you're so sweet. it's lovely to hear yours too!"
jeongin wanted to die.
his mother laughed. "such a charming girl! i hope my son is treating you well?"
you turned to him with the smuggest smile, tilting your head. "oh, he’s wonderful, ms. yang. so sweet. so attentive."
jeongin gave you a blank stare, deadpan. you? a menace.
his mother sighed happily. "ah, that's good to hear. oh! that reminds me—jeongin, darling, you haven’t forgotten about next weekend, have you?"
jeongin blinked. "uh… next weekend?"
you raised an eyebrow, watching him.
"the family gathering, jeongin!" his mom continued. "your uncle’s wedding anniversary celebration. you have to come. and of course, you must bring y/n!"
jeongin froze.
you?
you? (i'd be offended)
he turned to you so fast you almost thought his neck might snap.
you, on the other hand, were staring at him with way too much excitement in your eyes.
he cleared his throat, forcing his voice to stay neutral. "oh… right. that."
you leaned in, lips parted in interest.
ms. yang laughed. "don't tell me you forgot?"
jeongin exhaled sharply, pressing a hand to his temple. "i… might have."
you gasped. "baby!"
he glared.
"oh, don’t worry, dear," his mom said, brushing past his frustration entirely. "it’s going to be a lovely event! you must come with him, y/n! i won’t take no for an answer."
your grin widened.
jeongin knew that look.
it was the look of pure evil. the look of someone who had just won. (no he just read too many comics)
you placed a hand over your heart, feigning surprise. "oh my gosh, ms. yang, really? you’d want me there?"
"of course!" his mother said immediately. "you’re practically family now!"
jeongin almost choked for the umpteenth time that day.
you looked so pleased.
"well, in that case," you said sweetly, "i’d love to come. wouldn't want to disappoint a lovely lady like you, ms. yang."
ms. yang sighed, completely oblivious to his suffering. "wonderful! oh, i knew i liked this girl!"
jeongin shut his eyes, inhaling deeply. why him?
"alright, sweetheart, i won’t keep you two," his mom said. "make sure to text me later, okay?"
"yeah, yeah," he muttered, still trying to process what had just happened. "bye, mom."
"have a good evening, ms. yang!" you called cheerfully.
the call ended.
silence. and then—
"you evil, evil woman," jeongin muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
you grinned. "aw, is my baby upset?"
"don’t call me that."
"oh, but i must," you teased, tapping his arm. "we are dating, after all."
jeongin groaned.
you rocked back on your heels. "sooo. a family event, huh?"
"shut up."
"your entire family is gonna be there?"
"y/n—"
"and your relatives?"
jeongin exhaled slowly, praying for patience. "yes."
you beamed. "god, i love this bet."
jeongin stared at you. "why are you enjoying this?"
you shrugged. "because you're not."
his eye twitched. "i hate you." (.........yeah, yk the drill)
"you love me."
"shut up."
you giggled, nudging his arm as you started walking again. "come on, hot nerd. we have so much planning to do."
jeongin sighed, dragging a hand down his face as he followed after you.
he wasn't going to lose this bet.
he wasn't.
but, why did it feel like you had already won?
the city was beginning to glow.
golden streetlights flickered on, one by one, casting soft halos onto the pavement. neon signs buzzed to life in the distance, painting the skyline in hues of red, blue, and green. the cool evening air carried a mix of scents—freshly brewed coffee from a nearby café, the faint spice of street food stalls setting up for the night, and something softer, like rain on warm pavement.
and in the middle of it all—you and jeongin.
he was still following you, albeit begrudgingly, his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat.
"are you actually planning on telling me where we're going?" jeongin asked, his voice laced with skepticism.
you only grinned, walking a little ahead of him, as you turned around, still walking backwards, facing him. "nope."
he sighed. "of course not."
as the two of you had left the campus a while ago, jeongin had expected you to stop at the nearest café, maybe a convenience store. but instead, you kept walking. past the busy streets, past the familiar landmarks, past the places where most students usually hung out.
and now?
now, you were leading him through quieter roads, where the buildings weren't as tall, where the sky was starting to open up above you, where the city lights didn’t drown out the stars entirely.
it was weirdly peaceful.
not that he'd admit it.
"you're too trusting," jeongin muttered, watching as you walked ahead of him without a care in the world.
you glanced over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "oh? and why's that?"
"you’re just… walking around at night, alone, dragging me—your supposed fake boyfriend—to some unknown location." he narrowed his eyes. "for all you know, i could be leading you into danger."
you let out a soft laugh. "oh, please. if anyone’s the danger here, it’s me."
jeongin rolled his eyes. "right."
"you think i'm scared of you, topper?" you smirked, nudging his shoulder. "you’re, like, the least threatening person i’ve ever met."
"good," he said flatly. "that means i can stop pretending to tolerate you."
you gasped dramatically. "so rude! and here i was, thinking we were bonding!"
"bonding?" jeongin scoffed. "you kidnapped me."
you hummed, tilting your head. "wouldn’t call it kidnapping. more like… involuntary adventuring."
"that’s literally just a fancier way of saying kidnapping."
"details, details." you waved a hand dismissively, your bracelets jingling softly.
jeongin shook his head, but there was a small—very small—curve to his lips.
for a while, the conversation drifted into comfortable silence. the only sounds were the rhythmic tapping of your footsteps against the pavement, the occasional passing car, and the distant chatter of city life.
"you come here often?" jeongin asked suddenly, his voice softer now.
you glanced at him, slightly surprised by the question. "hmm?"
"wherever it is we're going," he clarified, watching your expression closely. "you seem… familiar with the way."
you hesitated for a second, but then you smiled. "yeah. i do."
he studied you, noticing how your fingers fiddled with the strap of your bag—a small, almost absentminded gesture. "alone?"
"sometimes." you exhaled lightly, looking up at the sky. "other times, with my friends."
jeongin didn’t miss the slight shift in your tone. it was subtle, but it was there.
"and tonight?" he asked, glancing at you. "why me?"
you turned your head toward him, meeting his gaze.
and for a moment—just a moment—you didn’t say anything.
the city lights reflected in your eyes, turning them into something almost ethereal. the night breeze played with the loose strands of your hair, making them dance against your cheekbones. there was something unreadable in your expression, something jeongin couldn’t quite place.
but then— you grinned.
"because i felt like annoying you," you said simply.
jeongin blinked. and then scoffed. "wow. and here i thought i was special."
"oh, you are," you teased, looping your arm through his before he could react. "you're my favorite victim, actually."
he stiffened. "y/n—"
"you’re warm," you interrupted, pressing closer. "a human heater. i should keep you around more often."
jeongin let out a very long sigh, tilting his head toward the sky like he was asking some higher power for patience.
"you're insufferable," he muttered.
"and you are cute."
"shut up."
you giggled. "ooooh, that blush is telling me a different story."
jeongin groaned, refusing to meet your gaze. "i hate this bet."
"you love this bet."
he side-eyed you. "you know, i think you might be evil."
you only winked. "oh, honey. i'm very aware."
and the walk continued like that—small banter, stolen glances, the occasional brush of hands when neither of you were paying attention.
jeongin hated how natural it felt.
hated how easy it was to talk to you.
hated how, despite himself, he was actually curious about where you were taking him.
he didn’t get attached.
he didn’t, right?.
but with every teasing smile you threw his way, with every time your fingers lingered against his, with every moment you laughed at something he said—
he started to wonder.
maybe jisung had been right.
maybe this bet was a really, really bad idea.
the view you chose for me
the path sloped upward, curving gently along the hillside. the city behind you had slowly started to fade, the buzzing neon signs replaced by the soft hum of cicadas, the distant rustling of leaves, and the whisper of the evening breeze. the sky above stretched out like a painting, shifting from the last golden hues of sunset into the deepening blues of twilight.
jeongin slowed his steps, glancing at you. "are we almost there?"
"patience, iyennie," you hummed, walking ahead with a skip in your step. "good things take time."
he rolled his eyes, but a small, amused exhale escaped his lips.
then, finally, the world opened up.
the trees thinned, revealing an expansive hilltop that overlooked the city. a vast, open field of wild grass spread around you, swaying lightly in the wind. the horizon stretched endlessly, where the last golden threads of daylight kissed the deepening night. below, the city twinkled like scattered stars, a soft, pulsing glow of blues, oranges, and whites.
and above, the first stars had begun to appear.
tiny, glimmering specks against a sky that seemed endless. wisps of deep indigo melted into shades of violet, streaked with soft pinks from the remnants of the sun. there was something ethereal about it—something quiet, untouched, almost unreal.
jeongin exhaled, barely noticing how his breath caught for a second.
you, on the other hand, stretched your arms out with a dramatic sigh. "isn't it beautiful?"
he glanced at you.
the wind had tousled your hair, strands of it floating like silk against the dim light. your face, turned toward the sky, was bathed in soft twilight, the shadows curving gently along your cheekbones. your eyes reflected the distant stars, and when you smiled—
your lips curled into a slow, satisfied grin, and your eyes crinkled into tiny crescents.
something in jeongin’s chest lurched.
"yeah," he murmured before he could stop himself. "it is."
you turned to him, blinking. "see? told you it was worth it."
jeongin tore his gaze away, clearing his throat. "it’s… alright."
you laughed, nudging him with your shoulder. "wow. that almost sounded like a compliment, yang."
"don’t push your luck," he muttered, walking past you.
you grinned, plopping down on the grass before patting the space next to you. "sit. enjoy the view."
he hesitated.
then, with a small sigh, he sat down beside you, the grass cool beneath his palms. the air smelled faintly of earth and rain, the breeze gentle as it curled around both of you.
a moment passed in silence, the two of you simply staring at the sky.
you reached into your bag, pulling out a small snack box.
jeongin glanced over. "what’s that?"
"food, obviously," you teased, opening the lid. inside, neatly packed, were a few triangular onigiris wrapped in seaweed. "can't survive without snacking every moment,"
you picked one up and held it out to him. "here. i made these this morning."
jeongin blinked. "you cooked?"
"is it so surprising? i'm a good chef, i'll have you know." you frown, and wiggled the rice ball in front of him. "c’mon. try it. first time making them, so i need honest feedback, topper."
he hesitated, eyeing you for a second before reaching out to take it.
and that’s when it happened.
you looked at him—waiting, expectant, your expression filled with the kind of excitement that was so genuine it almost startled him. the soft glow of the evening light traced the edges of your face, highlighting the curve of your cheek, the arch of your brow, the slight parting of your lips. your lashes cast tiny shadows against your skin, and when you smiled, your dimples deepened, your eyes turning into crescents once again.
jeongin—
forgot to breathe.
for a fraction of a second, he didn’t care about the stupid bet. didn’t care about the fake dating, or the fact that he was supposed to be annoyed by all of this.
all he could think about—
was how pretty you looked.
and then—
you turned your gaze back to the sky.
the moment broke, like ripples in a pond.
jeongin blinked rapidly, forcing himself to look anywhere else. he bit into the onigiri, trying to act normal.
it was good.
really good.
but he wasn’t about to inflate your ego, obviously.
"it’s… okay," he mumbled.
you frowned, clutching your chest. "just okay?"
he smirked, raising an eyebrow. "i’m just being honest, like you asked."
you narrowed your eyes, then suddenly leaned in closer, way too close. "are you lying?"
jeongin stiffened.
you were right there, inches from his face, eyes locked onto his like you were searching for the truth. the scent of vanilla and something faintly floral drifted from you, and jeongin—
had to grip his knee to keep himself from leaning back.
"i—" he swallowed. "no."
you hummed, tilting your head. "hmm. suspicious."
then, before he could react, you grinned.
"well, i think i did an amazing job." you leaned back, stretching your arms behind you. "maybe i should become a chef. quit university. open a cute little café. i’d call it ‘y/n’s love bites.’"
"love bites?" jeongin actually choked on air this time.
"hey, careful!" your eyes widened, your hands immediately burying into your bag, pulling a bottle out. you hand it to him, after opening it.
"what? is it not a nice name?" you pout at the look he gave you after gulping down the entire bottle, still coughing.
"really though? love bites?"
"mhm." you laughed. "because.. love bites. and because i’m good at biting. and love. and actually, love b-"
"god forbid a man wants to have a snack in peace."
you burst out laughing. "jeez, relax, iyennie. i’m kidding."
"you’re really insufferable."
"and you are fun to tease." you winked.
jeongin groaned, looking away.
but his ears—
were very, very red.
the stars were out in full now, scattered across the endless stretch of the night sky. the city below twinkled in response, as if the lights of the world and the heavens were competing for brilliance. the grass beneath you both was soft, slightly damp from the evening air, but comforting in a way that made neither of you want to move.
the silence between you had settled into something familiar—not awkward, not tense. just there. a moment where neither of you had to fill the space with meaningless words.
but then again, you’d never been one for silence.
"so," you started, shifting slightly so you faced him, "i realized something."
jeongin barely glanced at you, still watching the stars. "what?"
"i don’t know anything about you."
he raised an eyebrow. "you know plenty."
"mm, do i?" you leaned back on your palms. "i know you're stinky smart. i know you have the ability to make even professors shut up with a single argument. i know you have the fashion sense of a pinterest model and the patience of a grandma stuck in traffic."
jeongin let out a dry chuckle. "that’s oddly specific."
"am i wrong?"
"…no."
"exactly." you grinned before tilting your head. "but i mean, i don’t know you. like, i don’t know what makes you tick. what makes you.. you. i don’t know what you wanted to be when you were a kid, what your childhood was like, what your favorite memory is."
jeongin stayed quiet, eyes flickering toward you briefly.
you rested your chin on your knees, watching him. "i wanna know."
"you’re way too curious."
"and you’re way too closed off."
he sighed, shaking his head. "you don’t need to know all that. we’re only dating in front of my parents. not here."
"yeah, well, i want to get to know you," you said simply. "and this is completely unrelated to the whole fake dating thing. it can be platonic, you know? i just think it’s unfair that you probably know way more about me than i do about you."
jeongin looked at you, thoughtful. "do i?"
"you tell me, topper."
his lips twitched slightly, and for a moment, he looked like he was considering something. then, with a small sigh, he leaned back on his elbows.
"alright. what do you want to know?"
your eyes lit up. "anything?"
"within reason."
you hummed, thinking. "okay. what did you want to be when you were a kid?"
jeongin let out a short laugh. "you’re gonna make fun of me."
"oh, now i really have to know."
he rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth quirked up slightly. "i wanted to be a detective."
your eyebrows shot up. "no way. detective yang jeongin?"
"yeah, yeah," he muttered. "i used to love mystery novels as a kid. thought i’d grow up solving impossible cases, catching criminals, the whole thing."
you grinned. "that’s actually kind of cute."
he scoffed. "yeah, well, then i realized i’d have to deal with actual crime, and i was like, ‘yeah, no thanks.’"
you burst out laughing. "you wanted to be sherlock holmes but without the danger?"
"pretty much." he shrugged. "so i settled for something else."
"which is?"
"business and english."
you made a face. "oh so we're almost twinning?"
"i thought you knew?"
"um no? we barely share any other sessions, only sometimes, business."
"well that's because we have different batches, genius."
"huh. when's yours?"
"at nine."
you clicked your tongue. "good lord, typical topper behavior."
he shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him. "alright, your turn. what did you want to be as a kid?"
you hummed. "i went through so many phases. i wanted to be a singer, a poet, an author, a fashion designer, a painter… i was all over the place."
jeongin’s eyes softened slightly. "you’re still kind of all those things."
you blinked, caught off guard, ready to fight. "excuse me?"
"no, i mean, you write. you sing. you compose. you’re always dressed like you just walked out of a magazine." his voice was casual, as if he wasn’t just casually complimenting you without thinking.
and for some reason—
your heart stumbled a little.
you quickly recovered, clearing your throat. "well. somebody is paying attention."
he smirked. "unfortunately."
you gasped, nudging his shoulder. "and here i thought we were having a moment."
"you should know better by now," he teased, but there was something gentle in the way he said it.
you huffed dramatically. "fine, whatever. but i thought walking out of a magazine was your thing?"
"i wouldn't mind someone appreciating fashion, darling."
"...moving on. next question. what’s your favorite memory?"
jeongin hesitated for a second. then, with a small exhale, he said, "when i was ten, my family took a trip to japan. we went during the cherry blossom season, and i remember standing under this huge tree, just watching the petals fall. it felt like…" he paused, searching for the word. "magic."
your lips parted slightly.
for a moment, you could see it—ten-year-old jeongin standing under a sea of pink, eyes wide with wonder, cherry blossoms falling around him like soft whispers of a dream.
"you still remember it that vividly?" you asked softly.
"yeah." he looked up at the sky. "some moments just… stick with you."
your chest ached a little at that.
you didn’t know why.
you shook off the feeling. "well. that’s a very wholesome memory."
he smirked. "what were you expecting? something embarrassing?"
"maybe," you admitted, grinning. "but i like this one, too."
a comfortable silence settled between you again.
"what about you?" he asked.
you blinked. "huh?"
"your favorite memory."
you smiled slightly, hugging your knees. "i have a lot of good ones. but, if i had to pick, maybe…" you trailed off, thinking.
jeongin waited patiently.
you finally spoke. "back home, we used to have power outages a lot. and whenever that happened, my mom and i would sit outside with candles, just talking. we’d make shadow animals on the wall, tell stories, and drink warm milk while waiting for the lights to come back."
jeongin listened intently, his expression unreadable.
"it was such a simple thing," you murmured, "but it always made me feel.. safe."
for a long moment, he didn’t say anything.
then, finally, he said, "that sounds.. comforting."
you glanced at him.
there was something warm in his eyes, something quiet and understanding.
and for the first time that night—
you weren’t thinking about the bet.
you weren’t thinking about how you were supposed to be fake dating in front of his parents.
it was just the two of you.
sitting under the stars.
sharing pieces of yourselves you never expected to.
and somehow— it didn’t feel fake at all.
it was peaceful.
you were still determined to learn everything about him.
not just for the bet.
not just for fun.
but because, if you were honest, he intrigued you.
and you always liked figuring people out.
so, after a few minutes of silence, you spoke again.
"so," you started, shifting slightly to face him, "we were talking about memories."
jeongin glanced at you. "we were."
"you know what we weren't talking about?" you raised an eyebrow. "your love life."
he scoffed. "love life? who said i have one?"
you gasped, pressing a dramatic hand to your chest. "wait, no way. don’t tell me you’ve never had a girlfriend before, iyennie."
"i literally told you i've never been on a date.. like on day one." he shot you a look. "also, don't call me that."
"i think you know that i don't believe that," you grinned. "also, i will always call you that."
he exhaled through his nose, clearly regretting ever agreeing to this conversation. "i’ve had one."
you perked up. "so you did!" your eyes lit up with curiousity. "so, one? as in, just one?"
"yeah."
"how long ago?"
he hesitated for a second. "three years."
your mouth dropped open. "damn, that’s—wait. that means you’ve been single since you were—"
"yeah, yeah," he cut you off, rubbing the back of his neck. "i just… haven’t really been interested in dating since."
"interesting," you mused. "so what happened?"
jeongin sighed, clearly debating whether to answer.
then, after a moment, he said, "she was.. nice. we just weren’t meant to be, i guess."
you narrowed your eyes. "that’s such a boring answer, yang. give me details."
he smirked slightly, shaking his head. "you’re really nosy, you know that?"
"and you're really secretive." you tilted your head, watching him. "it’s okay if it.. ended badly. you can tell me."
he was quiet for a beat, then finally spoke.
"it wasn’t bad, exactly. we just had different priorities," he admitted. "she wanted a lot more attention, a lot more time together. and i was…" he paused, exhaling. "i was too focused on school, my goals. she got frustrated. said i didn’t care about her enough."
you hummed. "did you?"
he frowned slightly. "i did care about her."
"but maybe not in the way she wanted," you guessed.
jeongin gave you a look, as if surprised at how quickly you caught on. "yeah."
you nodded, thoughtful. "so, you’re the kind of guy who expresses love in actions, not words, huh?"
he blinked. "i guess you could say that."
"noted." you grinned. "i’ll expect a bunch of favors and free tutoring sessions as proof of love."
he rolled his eyes. "we’re not in love."
"not yet," you teased.
jeongin let out a dry chuckle. "you really think you’re gonna win this bet, huh?"
"oh, i know i will," you said smugly. "face it, topper, you like me."
"i tolerate you," he corrected.
"that's what they all say," you laughed. "give it time."
for a moment, he just watched you, his gaze unreadable. then, shaking his head, he muttered, "unbelievable."
you turned your attention back to the sky. "alright, next question."
"you’re not done interrogating me yet?"
"of course not. i’m just getting started." you shot him a smirk. "so, mr. future ceo, what’s something you’re actually passionate about? like, not just academically."
he hesitated.
you raised an eyebrow. "you do have hobbies, right? you don’t just study for fun?"
"of course i have hobbies," he muttered.
"well?"
"…i like music."
you blinked. "wait, really?"
he nodded. "yeah. i don’t do it as much now, but i used to sing trot with my grandparents all the time when i was younger."
you stared at him, genuinely surprised. "you? music?"
"what’s so shocking about that?"
"i don’t know! you just seem like ‘i only study and occasionally judge people’."
"well, i do judge people." he smirked. "i also kinda life photography, for some reason."
"really? so he likes singing and photography? what kinds?"
"mostly landscapes. architecture. things that don’t move too much."
you hummed. "so, no people?"
"not really." he glanced at you. "though… i think i’d like taking pictures of someone if they were interesting enough."
you tilted your head. "like who?"
for a second, jeongin didn’t answer. his eyes flickered over your face, something unreadable in his expression.
then, with a small smirk, he simply said, "dunno. haven’t found them yet."
your stomach did a weird little flip.
you cleared your throat. "huh. well. you should show me your pictures sometime."
he shrugged. "maybe."
you nudged his shoulder. "that means yes."
"that means maybe."
"sure, sure." you grinned before shifting topics. "alright, what’s your biggest ick in a person?"
he smirked slightly. "besides you?"
"rude," you huffed.
he pretended to think. "probably… people who pretend to be someone they’re not."
you nodded. "yeah, i get that. fake personalities are exhausting."
"what about you?"
you didn’t hesitate. "people who can’t communicate."
jeongin raised an eyebrow. "that’s… a very mature answer."
"right?" you sighed dramatically. "like, if you have a problem, just say it. why do people make everything so complicated?"
jeongin chuckled. "agreed."
there was a pause before you added, "also, people who wear socks to bed. they scare me."
he burst out laughing. "what? why?"
"i don't know, it just feels wrong!"
"you’re insane," he said, shaking his head.
"maybe. but at least i’m not a sock-sleeper."
jeongin laughed again, and for some reason, the sound made your chest feel warm.
the conversation continued, shifting from childhood stories to embarrassing moments, from random questions to deep musings.
at one point, you found yourself just… watching him.
the way his dimples appeared when he smiled.
the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed.
the way his gaze softened ever so slightly when he looked at you.
and maybe, just maybe—
you were in trouble.
but you weren’t going to admit that.
not yet.
for now, you were just a girl sitting under the stars with a boy who was supposed to be your fake boyfriend.
and yet, somehow—
it didn’t feel fake at all.
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mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @modesttiger @woozarts @katsukis1wife @bddaramjis @reignessance @peskybirdysya @honeyybbuubblleess @ellemir2404 @4ng3l-ch1ld @urlocalmultigroupfan
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semisasseater · 16 hours ago
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I don't like how you paint me― se-mi
⤷ Yet, I'm still here hanging
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pairing : gf!se-mi x fem!reader | genre : angst, hurt, romance for 1 second, drama| warnings : hurt, eavesdropping, self-doubt + insecurity, implied emotional neglect. | summary : Se-mi’s apartment had always felt like home to you—until you overheard her conversation with Min-su The words cut deep, shattering the sense of belonging you thought you had. Heartbroken, you leave without a word. | wc: 1,174 | authors note : guys i have something to say.. i fucking LOVE gabby also do yall fw the new layout?
if you enjoyed likes or reblogs would be amazing! feedback is appreciated also requests are open!!
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Se-mi’s apartment had always felt like home to you. Maybe that was your mistake.
Your hoodie hung on the back of her chair. Your toothbrush sat next to hers in the bathroom. Your makeup cluttered the counter, your perfume lingered in the air. Every little thing made it seem like this was your place too, like you belonged there just as much as she did.
But you didn’t. Not really.
Not after what you heard.
It was supposed to be an ordinary night—one of many spent by her side. You had been talking, laughing, feeling the warmth of her attention. But when you went to grab a drink, you stopped in your tracks at the sound of her voice.
“No, Min-su, you—ugh. You just don’t get it. She’s just… how do I say it? Too clingy.”
Your heart stopped.
Min-su’s voice was hesitant. “Noona, don’t you think that’s a bit rude?”
“I know it sounds rude and stuff, but she acts like a fan. She’s obsessed with me! Name one time she lasted a week without sleeping over at my house. Almost all her clothes and makeup and shit are at MY place! Why can’t she just—I don’t know? Min-su, I already have a lot on my plate right now! I don’t need a clingy girl just hanging around my apartment like she lives there! She’s always coming without my permission and shit! She’s too much, she’s annoying, she always—”
You didn’t stay to hear the rest.
You turned on your heel and walked out before you could hear another word.
Did she really think that?
Like a fan? Like an overbearing nuisance?
Tears welled up in your eyes, but you swallowed them back. You couldn’t fall apart here, not in front of people, not when you needed to move.
You hailed a cab and went straight to her apartment—the apartment that was supposed to be your second home. And the moment you stepped inside, you saw just how much of yourself you had left there.
Clothes in the closet. Shoes by the door. Your favorite mug in her cabinet. Your books on her shelves.
God. No wonder she felt suffocated.
For the next hour and a half, you packed. Every little thing that was yours, you shoved into bags. One by one, her apartment stopped looking like yours and started looking like hers again. When you were done, there were four full bags of your belongings sitting by the door.
It finally looked like Se-mi was living alone.
Just like she wanted.
You stood there for a moment, forcing a smile despite the way your heart ached. You were being ridiculous, right? You were clingy. You were overbearing. You had practically moved into her space without asking. This was your fault, wasn’t it?
Your phone buzzed.
You looked down and saw her name flashing across the screen, dozens of unread messages filling your notifications.
“Y/n? Baby? Where are you?”
“Y/n, where did you go?”
“Baby, this isn’t funny.”
“You said you were just getting a drink. Where are you?”
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Please come back.”
“Did you go back to the apartment?”
Your grip tightened around the phone. How ironic. She was acting worried now, like she hadn’t just been complaining about how much she wanted space from you.
You didn’t answer. You couldn’t.
Instead, you walked.
The 30-minute walk back to your own place felt longer than ever. By the time you got home, exhaustion weighed on your body, but the ache in your chest hurt more. You took a shower, scrubbing yourself clean, washing away the scent of her that still clung to you.
And then you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
Tears slipped down your cheeks, silent but unstoppable.
Did she ever love you the way you loved her?
Was it all just too much?
The buzzing of your phone woke you at 1 AM.
More texts. More missed calls.
“Y/n, why didn’t you tell me you left?!”
“Who picked you up?”
“Why’d you take your stuff? I was fine with it being here.”
“Y/n, just please tell me how you’re doing. I’m really worried.”
“Please, baby…”
“Y/n… I’m confused about all of this. You left the party randomly, then you took all your stuff back. What’s wrong?”
You laughed bitterly through your tears. What was wrong? Really?
You stared at the screen for a long moment before typing.
“I heard you.”
And then you turned off your phone.
You needed to change.
You needed to be less.
Less clingy. Less needy. Less overbearing.
Even if it hurt, even if it meant suppressing everything, you would do it.
If it would make Se-mi happy—
If it would make her stop seeing you as a burden—
If it would make her love you again—
Then you would.
Even if it broke you.
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@semisasseater
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softlypaintedseafoam · 3 days ago
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you are love itself (君は愛そのものだ)
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synopsis. his skin is dotted in stardust.
pairing. portgas d. ace x f!reader
word count. 1.3k | masterlist
content warning. reader is coded black (written ambiguously. anyone can read), established relationship, childhood friends, love as worship, love as a choice, reader has established devil fruit powers
reblogs & interactions appreciated.
a repost from another account and a sort of filler post for anybody who wants something not event-related. i love this fic so much i wanted it to be on this blog too. may you get a kick out of reading it if you haven't before!
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Everything is made of stardust; the stars that made Ace are simply visible to the eye.
They couldn’t be contained in the depths of his body like the rest of the world’s inhabitants. It’s scattered all across his skin in a beautiful display, matching the skies they fell from. Isn’t that something? You brush a hand against warm skin in awe. It’s all right there. The stars themselves rest upon his skin, how beautiful is that? How could anyone want someone like that dead?
When you were children, Ace told you he would bring you the moon.
What do you need the moon for when you’ve been touching the stars since you were 10?
Straddling his lap, you can’t help laughing as you think you’d been fighting a losing battle from the start. From the beginning, you’d been drawn to Ace and his stars and you wanted to follow where they’d go for the rest of your life.
“What’s so funny?” Ace murmurs into your shoulder.
“I think I was born to love you.” It is the only plausible conclusion for you to reach after 10 years of loving the same person. For the half of your life you’ve known him, you’ve chosen Ace from day one. You will continue to choose him for the rest of the life you have. You chose to chase him all around Mt. Corvo, you chose to be his friend, you chose to join his crew and your heart chose him even if your head had been slow to realize. “We don’t need to find the One Piece,” you murmur as you lead a trail of kisses from his shoulder to Ace’s cheek. “I already have everything the world has to offer right here.”
You feel Ace stiffen beneath you before he laughs sheepishly, “I think you need to have your eyes checked if you think that.”
“Hey,” you lean back so you can see his face. Your brows are furrowed sternly but your eyes sparkle with mischief and your lips stretch into a challenging grin. “I have better eyes than you, I can see the soul.”
Ace snorts but his voice is light and as warm as the smile painting his face, “souls of the dead, yeah.” Smiles suit Ace more than the frowns that were once commonplace when you were younger.
“That still counts,” you protest with a chuckle. He doesn’t have to believe he’s worthy of it, you’ll tell Ace all the same. You cup his face in your hands and enjoy the vibration of his mellifluous laughter under your fingers tips as you squeeze his cheeks. “There’s a lot you can learn about this sort of stuff when you can see the dead.” How the soul carries its wounds even after death. How the soul carries the essence of everything that makes something itself. How love can carry on beyond the grave.
You’ve seen it countless times by now in your truthfully short time of being a power holder.
The spirit of a man who wanted a few berries to leave as a surprise his husband could stumble upon to brighten his day.
An elderly woman dancing in the town square, seemingly alone following the steps she took with her lost love long ago. Unbeknownst to her, however, her love danced with all the same as they did once a long time ago.
Pods of orcas full of members past and present, refusing to part from their birth pod even in death.
How beautiful it is, a love like that.
Even while deceased, they choose to remain by their beloved all the same.
Whenever it is Ace’s time, he’ll take his stars with him and they will rest on his skin just as they did when he was alive. But I’ll make sure you’re so happy you won’t want to stay, you vowed when you partook of the sea’s cursed fruit. You carry this vow even now. Ace will die a happy death but more importantly, he will live a long and mirthful life.
(You can tell for as sure as your eyes are dry; the urge to cry and scream in mourning and warning nonexistent. Still it’s your heart’s desire that you go first so you don’t ever have to risk the day you know death will come for Portgas D. Ace.)
“You know what I think,” you cease your pinching, letting your lax thumbs stroke his face. Dark eyes look up at you like you’re a dream and gold like sunlight rests in your chest. It’s light yet heavy and even if your heart is calm, its rhythmic beating tells you something precious. And he’s so, so precious. “I think that when people move on, they’re reborn as someone else. Then they get to live life all over again. And one day, that’s gonna happen to us.”
Then you’ll cease to be the 'you’ you have been and so will he.
Maybe that time, you’ll be raised in separate seas and there will be no trio of brothers you’ll latch onto. Maybe he’ll be born somewhere in Paradise but I’ll be from the West Blue. Or maybe he’ll be a fishman. Or a giant!
Maybe next time, Ace will be a short girl with firey auburn hair and chocolate brown eyes with the disposition to match. Or he’ll be a scarred and gruff dragon moray eel fishman who is an overt romantic.
Maybe next time his stars will follow him as the marker that ties him to his previous life. Then you’ll recognize him the moment you see him. But even if I don’t, I’ll love you then too. You don’t need reminders of who he was to make you want him again.
Whatever the outcome may be, you will embrace it wholly.
“Whenever that happens, I’m gonna find you and I’m going to love you all over again. You can be a girl or a giant or a fishman.” Or maybe he’ll be the tiny human and you’ll be the giant. It will be nice being taller than Ace for once, you tell him as much with a laugh. There’s a spot of wetness at the corner of his eyes that you wipe away instinctively. “Or… maybe this world runs in one big loop and we get to be us again but that time we get to make different choices. Do the stuff we didn’t do last time. But regardless of all the different things I might end up doing, the one thing that is gonna stay the same is that I’ll choose you all over again.”
There’s a pause before Ace ducks from your gaze with a wet laugh, forehead pressed against your shoulder again. The unmistakeable feel of warm droplets subsequently follow. “Thatch must be cutting onions,” he chuckles weakly. “Sorry.”
“Dummy,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and inhale his scent. There’s a natural sweetness to it you can’t explain; it’s sweet but there is a peppery kick. It’s been that way since the first day you met him. I love him, I love him, I love him. The sentiment echoes throughout your entire being. “it’s okay to cry.”
“Would you really want me again?” His voice is soft and unsure like a young bird who doesn’t know if it can trust its wings.
Who else would I want?
Why would I want anyone else?
I’ve known you for 10 years, Ace. There’s nothing about you I don’t want.
“Over and over again,” you kiss his temple once, twice and then a third time before you lift his head and kiss the corners of his eyes. “It’s you and no one else.”
A noise of surprise escapes you when Ace’s lips press against your own but you relax a beat later, humming tenderly. You relish every sensation, how his arms wrap around you tight and how his fingers gently dig into your back. The taste of salt on your lips is akin to the ocean and your heartbeat reverberates throughout your chest.
Yes, it’s telling you something precious.
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ethanharmonia · 2 days ago
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≤[Volo]≥
I havent drawn much over the past month, but since i have my break i decided to draw one of the characters from the AU... Actually redesigning cuz what were the designs i made earlier🧍🏻Never forgiving myself🧍🏻
Anyways heres Volo :D
His design of all is.. my favourite ngl.. i ADORE it you have no idea, i love Volo, i love this V V guy, i love this man so much i would kms
Its like 3 AM so i wont go into info dumping, but i hope some of the text is understandable aaa
I am terrible at drawing arms excuse me i had to take a PICTURE of my own ARM to be able to draw
Also correction with the necklace part, I MEANT SOON NOT SPON HELLO
Without color + With color but no effects
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tarotbyjam24 · 12 hours ago
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What are your gifts and abilities?
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Likes , reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated 💗
Disclaimer: this is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so 🕊️
Thankyou for stopping by let's dive in ☄️ Choose the pile you feel most drawn to 🧸
Pick a piles \masterlist
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Pile 1 Pile 2
Pile 1
pile 1 : Hi pile 1 , let's see what's there for you through this reading:) you're good at thinking out of box ,you've open mindset ,ready to accept new things , you've broad horizons , you're also good at praying so like in the sense of sprituality you can get your wishes granted by doing prayers . I'm also getting hopohopono prayer . You're also good at fighting be it verbal or physical means you just have a good body built or you could have air signs dominancy in your charts even mercury too . You also have a great gift of instropection which makes you shine among others . I also feel your throat chakra could be very active too if not you should work with that chakra . You also have the ability to come out of the saddest situations . No matter how much hurt you have been you alsways come out through it breaking all the walls and face it all with great responsibility without being embarrassed about your life's situations. I also feel you have an amazing ability of leading things innately . People may also get hypnotize by you when they see you . People may also like to do what you say without questioning it . You have ability of creating a mind map for the things in your brain like those people who will think it all in their brain first from zero to end and then put it down on paper . This is giving solving a biggg equation in your mind and then just writing a single line answer . I feel people may get happy after they see you like you've this vibe to yourself that changes the air of the room you enter in . It's your aura that does it . You're also the one who don't likes to take advice from others and just do whatever their heart truly desires . You don't run from problems . You fight them with the swords in both hands . When life throw lemon at you ,you make lemonade Outta them . That's all pile 1 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Bless you 🍪 see y'a soon🖤
Pile 2
pile 2 : Hi pile 2 ,let's see what's there for you through this reading :) you have this magical ability in yourself through which you can see through dark and be the light for others . You're also kinda magic stick that helps others to find the magic within themselves. I feel you may also have good physique without working out or you may have a strong gut with fast mukbang metabolism. You're the person who likes to be in their world . If you're alone it won't bother you at all but you're most likely to create something when you're alone like you can get mind-blowing ideas when you're in your own world. You're for real super innovative. You're also definition of live more lives dance more dances . You also got thid motherly nature to you regardless of genders .you maybe the mama bear of your friend group . You're also the one who can protect everyone . You're people's rock pile 2 .You're also super passionate. You've this constant fire to move forward in life doesn't matter if people stay with you or not . You're constantly levelling up all 4 seasons but you also take care of yourself which sometimes people forget . You're someone who doesn't get swayed away . You've very strong supportive system build for yourself whether it's you alone or people around . You can also be your strongest support system. It doesn't always need to be people around us . Sometimes they're the one who breaks it . That's all pile 2 I hope you enjoyed the reading . Bless you 🍪 . See y'a soon🖤
I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀Bless you and have a nice day🌸🐰
Loads of love , jam\gem
Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open
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