#but as mentioned in the ask

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Hi! Sorry if this is rambly as I'm in the middle of brain fog. I just wanted to say,I really like your blog! Even though I follow it,it won't show up on my dash (60 % of radfem blogs don't) so I just pick random days to come visit,like it was a favorite shop. And it feels like coming home. This place made through your words feels truly comforting.

You might say you are rambling but I personally love long,complex explanations. It doesn't read like you are repeating things,but like you are covering the shades of grey too,instead of only the broad strokes.

Also,I have had a gender identity and identified as male for a couple of years. Many otherwise good radfem posts focus too much on shaming "gendies" and reiterating how delusional/abnormal/jobless sad freaks they are. So it all makes me feel like I'm in high school again,getting bullied by the popular neurotypical squad. To be honest,the tumblr "queers" of today are more similar to me,as a weird,socially inept,bisexual woman who cares more about ideas than actual physical reality. However,they threw women's rights under the bus. They started encouraging 4chan incel-like levels of misogyny,and cult-like levels of obedience. So I lost any desire to belong there or to ever interact positively with them.

I fully agree with,and admire many radfem bloggers,as they really know their shit and have the courage to stick to their beliefs. But I feel that even that side is sometimes guilty of misogyny and especially ableism. And I have seen textbook narcissistic bullies being hailed as defenders of human rights even there.

So thank you for making a blog and building this in-between space here. It is very necessary to understand the opposing side are humans too,and your kindness and ability to see multiple points of view really shines through. This is very hard to do in 2024. I personally am completely out of empathy and have become a very intolerant and bitter person. So it's kind of amazing to still be able to encounter more reasonable and calm points of view online,like this.

Still,if it gets too tiring and exhausting(because it does!) you have full permission to change and go as cold and uncaring as you want,at any time! (I feel every woman needs to be told this)

🌼🌞❤️‍🩹

wow, first of all, thank you for such a lovely message !! my instinct is to make a self-deprecating joke about how this is definitely going to fuel my ego but I have actually been trying to build my self-esteem up lately, so maybe I will let it get to my head this time lmao

I definitely see where you're coming from, I find that radfems (and I have to admit, I myself am guilty of thinking like this too) find some kind of catharsis in ripping into adherents of gender ideology, whether it's out of anger, a sense of justice, or satisfaction in just pointing out how wrong someone else is. I think it's just a sort of natural behavior with political/ideological spaces, think atheists dunking on christians, leftists dunking on the right, or conservatives dunking on liberals. "dunking" culture and solidifying your own beliefs by making fun of an opposing view is just something I feel has to be expected online at this point, even though I feel like it's the most unproductive aspect of online ideological communities, especially when I otherwise agree with their beliefs.

that being said, I really can't fault people, especially individuals within smaller, niche ideological communities such as radblr, from seeking outlets for their frustration and bonding through a common enemy. ironically, I find it way easier to understand this behavior on tumblr communities because blogs feel much more like a reflection of an individual, and I can at least understand when an individual makes mistakes or lashes out negatively, but that might just be my bias towards blog culture in general.

overall though, I definitely find that it helps to look at a variety of blogs for a diversity of opinions within the community (I swear my following list gets longer and longer every day) and find the places that do curate a space you can feel comfortable in. I am honored that you might find my blog as that kind of avenue, and I'm certain there are just as many more blogs on this platform and beyond (perhaps with better writing lol) that accomplish a similar goal of fostering empathy. in fact, I know those blogs are out there because I hope one day my writing will be even a fraction as good as some of them !! I also hope one day tumblr fixes their algorithm (they won't but I will stay hopeful in slight delusion) and I can find more awesome radfem blogs without having to scroll through the oft spammed tags...

whew this response turned out way longer than I though lmao (and as always I have thought of even more words to say sigh) but once again thank you for the ask, I wish the absolute best for you !!

[lastoneout]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.

[bamsara]

as soon as the disorders stop disordering and the disability stops debilitating I will be so unstoppable powerful forever

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

can we ask about ur family's curse

according to my great grandma it was cast on her grandma by a neighbor with the evil eye - "your daughters will marry their fathers and your sons will become them"

which is really just a fancy way of describing the cycle of abuse and therefore worked very well, generally going into effect before the kid in question turned 21

so my matrilineal family tree winds up a fractured, miserable mess, lots of young marriages and parents falling apart generation after generation, serial toxic marriages with generations of kids scattered across the whole state in foster homes - very nasty stuff

until it gets to me (firstborn in my generation of cousins) and by the time im twenty one i am 1. both daughter and son and neither 2. extremely aspec and queer

which apparently this neighbor did not conceive of when casting her eye and seems to have simply error messaged the curse into oblivion. no one born after me has had this problem. all their romantic relationships are loving (though i would never claim them perfect) and their children adored. fairytale loopholed so hard the damn thing disintegrated. its the funniest magic story i have lmao

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[chloesimaginationthings]

This is Scott Cawthon’s biggest regret in FNAF..

[ribghoul]

my girlfriend is able to take like a 20-min nap and bounce back with full energy. idk how she does that. when i lie down i wake up 12 years later in a hospital bed i rip the IV out of my arm and stumble into the hallway the whole building is littered with bodies, i make my way back to my house but my wife and children are long gone

[catmask]

sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[hellsitegenetics]

I’m obsessed with your entire blog premise and so curious about your backstory. were you a geneticist denied funding so you went rogue and now you’re collecting all genome sequences to enact revenge? are you perhaps a scientist from the Jurassic park universe making sure none of your secret dinosaur dna sequences escape containment? are you italian

String identified: ’ t t g a c at act. a gtct g t g a ’ cctg a g c t act g? a a a ctt t ac a ag ct a a c ca ctat? a taa

Closest match: Capsicum rhomboideum cultivar Andean isolate CrT2T chromosome 3

[jestergal]

i think when someone replies to the thought of "your triggers don't get to determine the kind of art other people make" with "maybe not pedophilia and incest though" maybe they are not talking about the controversial novel "lolita" or anything else with "dark themes that may make you feel uncomfortable" and are in fact talking about the people online that write thousands upon thousands of words about fictional kids being abused purely for fun and pleasure. like i dunno. uncomfortable themes have a place in something with good writing, sure. but maybe i'm tired of seeing this fucking "let people write what they want to write uwu" type bullshit post every other day, even if the OP means well. no one on fucking ao3 is vladimir nabokov. let's be honest

[lastoneout]

Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

[jewfrogs]

this post sucks so bad massachusetts takes its name from the indigenous massachusett people who were genocided and whose land was stolen and that would be obvious if you would think for a single second and look up the etymology before posting. mocking a native language that was eradicated for centuries and is only now beginning to be revived is not fucking funny it is ignorant and racist and cruel

[lethal-spaceship]

please more dipcifica i am on my hands and knees 🙏

SIR YES SIR also feel free to give me any dipcifica requests (twirling my hair giggling)

when I got this ask I was like:

[thestuffedalligator]

People are talking about what voice Public Domain Mickey should have, and for some reason. My brain keeps going back to Nathan Lane.

Dialogue comes from Lane’s performance in Angels in America II: Perestroika

[cherrywhite]

every single time (template from @mhuyo)