#but apparently the copy i thought i had was my sibling's library book they returned recently

[cottonbopp]

Jashtober Day 22 - Cog "If thought itself is death, why not set pen to paper?"

+ here are some of the bg images, which i wrote out in a notebook myself !! Took too long writing em just to cover em up hehe

Both taken from sections of chapter 1 of 1984 :D !!

[nottobehornyonthemain]

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

(Long history with this one, but let’s just say my personal copy of it is the item that family members have told me is the litmus tests if I should ever disappear. If it’s still here, I did not go willingly.)

2. Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkein

(When I was 12 I was in a weird place, and my mother, who adores the movies, told me that she’d never actually read the books. It took me several weeks, and one night where my mom came to check on me because my light was still on after midnight, only to find that I had fallen asleep and was drooling on top of Return of the King.)

3. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte

(First Brontë I ever read, and I listened to it on audio first. Two years ago I gave my grandparents, who never actually pick gifts, they just want Amazon links sent to them, a choice between Jagged Little Pill on vinyl, and a nice copy of Jane Eyre. Apparently they decided Jane Eyre was less scandalous.)

4. Harry Potter series

(My mom read all seven of these out loud to me and my siblings over the course of seven years.)

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

(The summer before I started college, so when I was 15, I worked twice a week at my local library, and I would always go home with huge stacks of books because I was going through one every day, or two if it was particularly dense. I read this one that summer, mostly while spread out on a picnic blanket in my backyard, and I think that’s how it was always intended to be read.)

6. The Bible

(Yes. All of it. In case my blog hasn’t given it away by now, my religious upbringing was… intense.)

7. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte

(I read this book once for school when I was 14 and hated it. I read it again when I was 16 and bought a copy in Grand Central Station, still hated it. But when I read it again at 19, because I was extremely bored at work and saw it on audio? So yeah, I read a book I knew I hated twice, it shouldn’t have surprised me when I realized I actually liked it and it was important to me.)

8. Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell

(I actually got into a discussion with my collage English professor at one point about what our favorite books where, and I mentioned Orwell, he had thought I ment this one, but I was talking about Animal Farm. This made me a little self conscious, because I hadn’t read the bigger hit, so I immediately wandered up to the school library and checked this one out, just so I could say I’d read it by Wednesday when class met again.)

9. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens

(I had a hot Charles Dickens summer one year. This was the first one I read, and it was because of Into the Spiderverse. Miles Morales is a role model.)

10. Little Women – Louisa M Alcott

(I do not love this book. I have watched every adaptation that has ever been made, yes, even the anime. The Greta Gerwig one is pretty good because I’m a sucker for non-linear narratives and Florence Pugh and Timothée Chalamet are pretty good at it.) 

11. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller

(In December of 2021, I realized that I had never read this book, and had the opportunity to do something very funny. So yeah. I read what is considered to be one of the greatest novels of the 20th century as a joke to myself. Anyway, it’s very good, you should probably read it, especially if you like WWII stories and Kafka. Again, love a non-linear narrative.)

12. Complete Works of Shakespeare

(Yes. I got a complete edition at a library book sale, and drew stars on the cover in white gel pen so people would know it was mine, because I’m apparently that bitch. Although, I haven’t read the lost plays (obviously) so I don’t know if I can honestly say I’ve read the Complete works.)

13. Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier

(I read this after watching Hannibal the series for the second time because I got into a very deep Gothic Romance mood. I also accidentally got my friend to read it because we were comparing our current reads at the time, and that is how I ended up reading We Always Lived in a Castle.)

14. The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien

(The far superior Tolkien work in my personal taste. I love it. One of my friends reads this book once a year, and I love that for them, I’m not quite that in love with it, but this is about where my limits on where I can enjoy fantasy lie. Like, I’ll read higher stuff if I make myself, but I’ll tell you right now, I’m going to finish and move the fuck on.)

15. Catcher in the Rye

(It’s by J. D. Salinger, by the way. The list didn’t have an author on there. Read this one the same summer as To Kill a Mockingbird. Anyway, I love that Holden Caulfield was just some fucking guy that Salinger made up and decided to put in a bunch of his works, without bothering to make it into a series by making timelines or middle names match. He really just put his OC in situations, and I love that.)

16. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell

(My brother used to work a job where he would help a guy in town sort through old books that he got from somewhere, and pick out ones that were still readable from ones that had been completely ruined, and he made a few bucks an hour and got to take home any books he wanted, and the guy would sell the good ones for like fifty cents somewhere. But my brother would always bring home books he thought people would like. At the time I was obsessed with the costume designs Walter Plunkett had done for the 1939 mega-hit film. So, when my brother found one while sorting through books, I ended up being gifted the most beaten up copy of Gone With the Wind I’ve ever seen in my life.)

17. The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald

(I am obnoxious about this book. I can, and have, talked for hours about this book. There is an audiobook for this book narrated by Jake Gyllenhaal, he is perfect for Nick Carraway. This book is the save me meme for me.)

18. Bleak House – Charles Dickens

(Again. Charles Dickens summer.)

19. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy

(Did I read this book after I listened to Great Comet? Yes. Did I read all of it? Also yes. Having done so, and legitimately liking quite a lot of it, I do recommend it if you liked Great Comet, because the detail you get to go into is great, and makes you feel like a huge nerd. Also, recommend for people who want a 55 hour long audiobook.)

20. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

(There’s an audiobook for this one narrated by Steven Fry. It’s also one of the funniest books I’ve ever read.)

21. Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

(Have I ever mentioned that I hate “it was all a dream/no one remembers” endings? Because I hate “it was all a dream/no one remembers” endings. I do, however, really like “person goes to a fucked up new place” stories. So I guess it balances out. The Cheshire Cat is on the list of characters I would commit war crimes to play.)

22. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame

(Me and my brother both read this book when we were younger and for years whenever we hear the name of this one, or literally anything with the word “wind” or “willows” in the title we’ll go “is that the one with the mole?”, because we think it’s funny.)

23. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy

(I was once in a book club with two high school English teachers, and two housewives. We all made the mistake of letting one of the English teachers pick first, and this was the first and only book that club was assigned, as no one but me actually finished it. Anyway, the 2012 film version is a fucking masterpiece and I don’t know why it’s not talked about more.)

24. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens

(Charles Dickens summer. I actually read Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver recently too, and that book is very very good, I would honestly say go read that one before this one.)

25. Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis

(My brother was very into these when he was like, 15, and I read them. They’re not my favorite, and honestly, many people who like them more have more interesting things to say about them than I do.)

26. Emma – Jane Austen

(I don’t know what magic Austen put into this book to constantly get the best film adaptations made of it, but my god she did. It’s a triple header too, because the Gwyneth Paltrow one is a perfectly good older style straight Austen period film. Clueless is probably my favorite of the “let’s do a high school AU of this piece of classical literature” genre, and Emma. (2020) is… just about perfect.)

27. Persuasion – Jane Austen

(This is probably Austen’s best book from a craft standpoint. It’s not my favorite of her works because of nostalgia I have for pride and prejudice, but… I mean, it’s the getting back together one, which is my favorite romance subgenre. Idk, I would recommend this one first to anyone who was asking me where to start with Jane Austen.)

28. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis

(Again. People who like this book more than I do definitely have more interesting things to say about it. That being said, the film version of this one fucking slaps, and if you haven’t recently, you should rewatch it.)

29. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden

(This is a book that I think would have greatly benefited from being written by a woman. Or someone who grew up in Japan. Or someone who didn’t get sued for breach of contract and defamation of character by one of the geisha he interviewed to write this novel. Anyway, I recommend Mineko Iwasaki’s autobiography, Geisha of Gion.)

30. Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne

(I don’t have much to say about this one. I read, and then I read something else. This one wasn’t a cornerstone of my childhood like I know it was for a lot of people.)

31. Animal Farm – George Orwell

(One of my favorite books of all time. I read it for the first time at 14, and proceeded to read it 12 more times in two months. It’s a very fast read, and I had anti-totalitarianism sensibilities that were ripe for feeding.)

32. The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown

(I’m not going to lie. I like the movie version of this one just fine. Read the book anyway. But, fun fact, when this movie came out I lived in Mississippi, and there was a campaign against my local library to get the book taken out of their catalog on the basis of blasphemy. So that’s wild.)

33. Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery

(In contrast to my last point, this is one that is just so light, and airy, and just reading it makes you feel good. It’s like a scented candle in book form. And no film adaptation is ever going be able to capture that, because it’s not about seeing the world with Anne in it as something shining and beautiful, it’s about how Anne sees the world as something shining and beautiful, and she makes you see it that way too.)

34. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

(So, this book is great. We all know that. Now, onto storytime. Once upon a time in the 90’s, my dad got bored one day and decided to watch the 1990 movie version of this one, he didn’t know what it was about, but had heard that it was sci-fi, and had assumed it was some Star Wars for girls type thing. He was unprepared.)

35. Lord of the Flies – William Golding

(As a child, many elements of my life and behavior was compared to this book in a way that I, with my infinite understanding of social cues, picked up on the subtle fact that this was an insult. Thinking that I was somehow winning, I decided to read this book to prove… some point? And I ended up agreeing with the adults in my life, I absolutely was like that one kid who wanders off into the woods and is never seen again.)

36. Atonement – Ian McEwan

(I think one of my first posts on this blog was me reblogging gif sets from the film version of this.)

37. Life of Pi – Yann Martel

(Forever gate keeping Black Sails from people who think debating whether or not the tiger was real is important to understanding what the story is about.)

38. Dune – Frank Herbert

(I have been banned from talking about Dune around my family anymore after the time I got super wasted at a thanksgiving party my parents’s friends were hosting, and spent 35 minutes explaining Dune, with relevant facts about Frank Herbert’s life, to a woman who had mentioned that her husband has seen the newer one. She hadn’t even watched that one.)

39. Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen

(This is my least favorite Austen novel. There’s some modern AU version of this that I read at one point that I don’t remember the name of, but there was this scene where the mom was standing on the beach and looking at golden retriever wondering if she could ask the owner for a clipping of its fur so she could show it to her hair colorist.)

40. A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens

(Charles Dickens Summer!!!!)

41. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

(If I had a nickel for every 20th century American novel about a deeply strange little man who had to deal with the devastating psychological affects of his best friend’s death, I would have I would have so many nickels.)

42. Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov

(I think there should be a rule about watching the Kubrick film where, in order to see it, you should have to write a five paragraph essay about the original novel.)

43. Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

(This book fucking rocks. It is also my number one on list of novels that I think would most benefit from a podcast adaptation. Not like, a read-along, but like, a story based on the Count of Monte Cristo would kill it in podcast form.)

44. On The Road – Jack Kerouac

(I’ve read it. I can neither confirm nor deny whether or not it was before or after watching supernatural.)

45. Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding

(So there’s a The Wombats song called “Kill the Director” where the bridge is just “this is no Bridget Jones” several times, and I wasn’t familiar with the reference, so I looked it up, and somehow managed to miss the, extremely popular, film adaptation, and thought it was just a reference to the book. I didn’t realize my mistake until I mentioned it to someone who didn’t know there was a book, and had assumed I was talking about the film.)

46. Moby Dick – Herman Melville

(This is like War & Peace, in that it is a brick and there should be an adaptation that’s just the last 90 pages. But also, I read this book after reading a book of essays called “Why You Should Read Moby Dick” which, convinced me to read Moby Dick. But yeah, you could give this book to aliens and they would be able to recreate the 19th century whaling American industry from scratch.)

47. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens

(Charles Dickens Summer! Also, this is one of those books that was very obviously serialized and would probably benefit greatly from being presented in that format as opposed to in a novel, because it does drag on when it’s just one chunk.)

48. Dracula – Bram Stoker

(I’m not the biggest fan of epistolary novels, but hey, it’s Dracula. I’ve done it all. Every film adaptation? Yes. The Edward Gorey illustrated edition? Own it. Dracula Daily? Two years. Re: Dracula? Got the jumpscare of my life when Dr. Seward started talking because I didn’t realize Jonny Sims was in this.)

49. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett

(This book would have been greatly improved by less racism and more talking robins.)

50. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath

(This book would be greatly improved by more people who read it understanding what an unreliable narrator is.)

51. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

(This is not a member of the Charles Dickens Summer club. I just read it one Christmas when I was like 8. Anyway, it’s hilarious and exactly what you expect. I also would have assumed that the coffin nail was the deadest nail of all.)

52. The Color Purple – Alice Walker

(Remember when I said that I don’t love epistolary novels? This is a major exception. Honestly, the number of list I’ve seen for contenders to the title of The Great American Novel, that don’t include this one is criminal. I also don’t know how so many people read it and don’t realize that it’s going to be dark as fuck.)

53. Charlotte’s Web – EB White

(Sometimes it’s very healing to read children’s novels as an adult. Just sit, and tear through a book in a couple hours. Any of Kate DiCarmello’s books, Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen, Coroline, and Charlotte’s Web are all staples for me in that area. Because I read them all, over and over again growing up, and just, being able to go back to them and still find that magic is… really moving.)

54. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

(I have the two giant complete annotated edition volumes. The one with the essays. I have broken bookshelves with them. And I got them for $3 at a tag sale when I was so small that I couldn’t carry both of them at the same time.)

55. The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery

(This is the book that made me believe that I could write. This book broke my heart. This is a fundamental touchstone in my development as a storyteller.)

56. Watership Down – Richard Adams

(I liked this book. My brother Fucking Loved this book. My father was deeply scarred as a child by this book. I think that’s about the full range.)

57. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

(Shoutout to those “Great Illustrated Classics” books that were in every library in the late 90’s/early 00’s. Those things were kickass. I don’t know if I would have read the full version of this one if it wasn’t for the Great Illustrated version I read when I was little. But whoever came up with the idea to just, take classical English literature and tell it exactly the same but in a slightly simplified version for a younger audience was a genius, and they deserve kudos.)

58. Hamlet – William Shakespeare

(I once read a post that opened with “spoilers for Hamlet” and… I don’t know if it’s possible to spoil Hamlet. Like, in America and England at least, it’s kinda baked in. Being alive is a spoiler for Hamlet. Also, can you spoil Hamlet, or is knowing what’s going to happen before it does is kind of part of the modern experience? I don’t know.)

59. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl

(I met up with my friends this summer and one of them didn’t realize this book had a sequel. Me and my friend who had also read it then spent the next five or so minutes verbally vague posting about plot points for the Great Glass Elevator to each other, and confusing everyone else, because that book is a fever dream. For that experience alone, I will recommend.)

60. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

(If I had a nickel for every giant ass brick of a book that I actually did enjoy that included uncomfortable sexualisation of children under the age of 15 and far too much information about a specific city’s sewer system, I would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.)

How many have you read?

The BBC estimates that most people will only read 6 books out of the 100 listed below. Reblog this and bold the titles you’ve read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 2 Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkein 3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte 4 Harry Potter series 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 The Bible 7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte 8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens 11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller 14 Complete Works of Shakespeare 15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks 18 Catcher in the Rye 19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffeneger 20 Middlemarch – George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell 22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald 23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens 24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams 26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh 27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky 28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck 29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll 30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame 31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy 32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens 33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis 34 Emma – Jane Austen 35 Persuasion – Jane Austen 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden 40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne 41 Animal Farm – George Orwell 42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving 45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins 46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery 47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy 48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood 49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding 50 Atonement – Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel 52 Dune – Frank Herbert 53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons 54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen 55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth 56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon 57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens 58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley 59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez 61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck 62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov 63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas 66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac 67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy 68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding 69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie 70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville 71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens 72 Dracula – Bram Stoker 73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett 74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson 75 Ulysses – James Joyce 76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome 78 Germinal – Emile Zola 79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray 80 Possession – AS Byatt 81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens 82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchel 83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker 84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro 85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert 86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry 87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton 91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad 92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery 93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks 94 Watership Down – Richard Adams 95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole 96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute 97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas 98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl 100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

[3laxx]

Babysitting a Human: 101

“Hi, little one. And who might you be?”, the baby giggled and reached for her green hair but she leaned back, instead offering her necklace. In an instant, the baby was fascinated by the gem and grabbed that instead, making Amity chuckle, “Aren’t you a sweet one.” Through a potion, Luz is aged down to a baby and Amity luckily is at the right place, at the right time. Shenanigans ensue.

I literally just wanted to write Luz as a baby and Amity babysitting her. It's that simple sometimes xD I also just wanted to explore Amity being a confused teenager who's good with babies, because in "Lost in Language" she definitely seemed to handle the small kids really well! Please have as much fun reading as I had writing this story, and have a wonderful day <3 3laxx~

Ao3 / FF.net

---

“Ah, Minty green! You came at the perfect time, actually!”

Amity was almost offended by the nickname Eda had given her on the fly if it hadn’t irritated her more that the wild witch seemed to be on the way to leave.

“What-”, she already wanted to ask, but the witch just wrapped her arm around her shoulders and began pushing her towards the Owl House.

“I actually gotta run real quick to do-… Business. You gotta watch Luz. Okay, bye!”

The teen just merely managed to furrow her eyebrows as King jumped past her, onto Eda’s staff, and the witch began flying off.

“Wait! What do you even mean?!”

But Eda already waved and flew off, yelling something that Amity couldn’t quite make out, something like “Don’t let her die, will be back tomorrow!”

This was getting weirder and weirder by the second. Amity huffed, pulling her bag tighter around her and furrowing her eyebrows at the house. The door was open, and that bird tube was doing something inside, which involved very questionable sounds.

Did she even want to go inside now?

She had known becoming friends with Luz was going to be messy and weird and definitely sometimes out of her comfort zone, but she had just wanted to come by to give Luz back her copy of The Good Witch Azura novel three since she had claimed she had lost hers and just wanted to spend time with Luz outside of their weekly book club meetings.

But now she suddenly wasn’t sure how urgent this was. She could give her the book back tomorrow, too, right?

Eda had just talked nonsense, and Amity wouldn’t – absolutely wouldn’t – get involved with Hooty. She could just go, right? Huffing, she fastened the strap on her bag again and nodded, turning away from the Owl House. She had no obligation to stay after Eda had just recruited her for-… Something. Watching Luz?

Amity rolled her eyes. Luz was older than her, by a few months, and could very much look after herself. Well, not always, but she didn’t need a babysitter, and especially not Amity. Shaking the blush off her face, she started leaving again, when suddenly, she heard Hooty doing some noise and a baby crying.

This made her stop dead in her tracks and she could feel her heart jumping at that.

Eda didn’t have a baby. Luz didn’t either. She knew Eda had babysat the Bat Queen’s children once, but their screaming sounded different. This hadn’t been a demon cry or whatever else.

Slowly, Amity turned back to the house and slowly approached it.

Whatever was inside, Hooty was probably not the best company for that thing. She already cursed herself for investigating, but Titan, she couldn’t just leave a child alone with that bird tube.

Hooty just retreated when she entered through the door, talking to himself in his annoying, high-pitched voice.

“Geez, okay! I get it, you don’t want to play ‘Catch the mouse’, hoot!”

Before the bird could even start to talk to Amity upon noticing her, she shot him a glare that was enough to make him close the door after her. Now she heard it clearly.

A whimper sounded through the room, then a cry. She furrowed her eyebrows at that and put down her bag, before looking around.

Sure enough, there was a crib. Amity didn’t know Eda and Luz would be babysitting again.

“Luz? Are you here?”

Nobody answered so Amity assumed Luz was still upstairs. Why would she leave a baby alone here, though? Luz was the most caring person she knew, and while still being a child herself most of the time, she would never just leave a baby in Hooty’s care.

Carefully, she approached the crib and looked inside, only to stumble back with a red face, landing on her rear and stretching out her arms in a fighting motion. This had just activated her fight-or-flight reflex.

The baby inside the crib looked exactly like Luz. Had she missed the last thirteen months or something? And wasn’t Luz a little young to be a mother? And-… Did that mean Luz wasn’t single?

Amity breathed for a moment, then she got back up again, her thoughts running a mile an hour. This couldn’t be, right. Was that Luz’s little sibling? But how would they have come here? The same way Luz had managed to end up here? Amity knew it involved a portal.

If Luz had a little sibling, though, why bring them here?

She once again peered into the crib and sure enough, there was a little baby, not much older than four months maybe, but definitely not a year yet. It was crying, kicking helplessly, and crying.

Motherly instincts, that the teenager hadn’t known had existed inside her, suddenly took over. She reached inside and softly cradled the baby in her arms, then she lifted it up and began bopping it, helplessly looking around.

She was in this house now, alone, with a baby and a dumb bird tube, and Eda was apparently leaving for the entire night? She had babysat before, sure, Boscha’s little sister for example while her friend had wanted to go to some party for older kids. And she managed the children at the library every week. But this was a little rushed.

Huffing, she took the baby with her and started exploring upstairs. She knew where Luz’s room was, so she went there first while keeping the baby close, but her friend was nowhere to be found. Nor was anyone else.

After searching through every accessible room – some she didn’t want to open, who knew what Eda was hiding behind closed doors – she returned to the living room and sat down on the couch with the baby in her lap, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Hi, little one. And who might you be?”, the baby giggled and reached for her green hair but she leaned back, instead offering her necklace. In an instant, the baby was fascinated by the gem and grabbed that instead, making Amity chuckle, “Aren’t you a sweet one.”

The gem was round and too big to fit in its mouth so she didn’t mind the baby playing with her necklace while she tried to figure out what she was doing here.

“What are we gonna do now, little baby? I know how to babysit, but I don’t even know who you are and why you’re here. You do look a little like Luz, though.”

Squinting her eyes, she watched the baby in her arms. She knew that face. That baby looked so damn similar to the teenager she knew from school.

But it couldn’t be Luz herself, right?

Eda had told her to watch Luz and she had thought that was weird. Was it possible that-…?

The baby looked up to her and once again tried to reach her hair while Amity watched it closely.

“Luz?”

The baby seemed to listen up at that. Amity’s eyes widened.

“Oh my Titan, Luz, is it actually you?!”

In an instant, the baby began sniffling again at Amity raising her voice, so she quickly got back up again and started rocking the baby, Luz, to try and soothe her.

“Shh, shh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get loud. Is it really you, though?”

The baby slowly stopped crying again and Amity’s heart began racing. That meant she was holding her crush in her arms right now. Her crush turned into a baby.

Luz brabbled something and once again reached the gem around Amity’s neck, starting to drool all over it, but Amity couldn’t care.

Eda had to explain some things to her once she got back.

Oh Titan, when she got back. She had said she’d only be back in the morning. It was afternoon right now, which meant Amity would have to watch over Luz for at least eighteen hours?!

Except if she called Willow.

She knew her former friend was incredibly good with babies, she supposed that came with understanding plants so much. It wasn’t that much of a difference after all. Don’t drop, don’t squish, feed regularly, and keep it clean and free of bugs.

Right, what was she going to feed Luz, anyway?! Did human babies have some special things they couldn’t eat? Oh Titan, this was going to be a nightmare. Amity didn’t even know if Luz was allergic to anything.

A squeal let her listen up again and she realized Luz had tried to get her attention for quite a while now, while she had paced through the living room.

“Yes? What do you want?”, again, the baby reached for her hair and Amity rolled her eyes, “Fine. But if you tug, I’ll never let you touch it again.”

The tiny Luz went quiet at Amity’s hair starting to fall over her small baby hand, and she clumsily tried grasping some strands, making Amity giggle.

“You like that?”

Out of instinct, she leaned down to the baby and shook her head, tickling Luz with her hair hanging into her tiny face. The baby squealed in joy and kicked joyfully, making Amity laugh as well.

“You know, you’re actually super cute like that. I mean, you’re also cute when you’re all grown up, but this is another level of cute.”

The baby Luz once again giggled and squealed while Amity continued shaking her hair into her face until the baby grabbed a handful of her strands and ripped with all its might.

With a yelp, Amity stumbled back but tried to keep her balance, not to drop the baby.

“Ouch! Ouch ouch ouch, let go, let go! That hurts, stop!”

Untangling Luz’s tiny hand from her hair proved to be more difficult than she had anticipated and she grumbled when she actually saw a few ripped-out hairs in the baby’s hand.

“That wasn’t nice.”, she chastised Luz, pouting, “Don’t do that again.”

The baby was too engrossed with the hair she had ripped out, though. Amity merely rolled her eyes, then she decided to create a war plan.

First, she had to find out what human babies ate and if Eda had anything here that she could feed Luz. Secondly, she would have to look for some diapers, because while it looked like Luz was wearing one in her onesie, she wasn’t sure how much longer it was going to hold. Amity already grimaced at that thought. But a baby wouldn’t be able to hold it in for eighteen hours, right? And she supposed Luz wouldn’t remember anything anyway. Plus, it was probably less traumatizing to wash Luz than to endure her full diaper until the next morning.

Carefully, she set the baby down in her crib and entered the kitchen next door, to see if Eda got anything edible.

After a minute of searching, Luz began to feel lonely and Amity couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“I’m right here, Luz, everything’s alright! My Titan, how did your mother raise you if you couldn’t even stand being alone for five minutes?”

The baby seemed to calm down at Amity talking so she just continued monologuing while continuing through the cupboards and finding some troubling things.

“I mean, I’m literally just next door. You can relax, promise, I’ll be right back. I just need to find something that you can have as dinner and breakfast. Does Eda even have milk around here? Wait, do babies like you eat anything already, or do you just drink milk? How am I supposed to know, I’m fourteen!”

At that point, she’d probably have to call an adult who had ideally already raised a baby, but nobody came to mind. Except, yes, her old nanny! Her mother hadn’t done much of the raising, just a lot of the chastising, so her nanny was probably the closest she’d get to any helpful advice. Summoning her scroll phone, she walked back into the living room and propped herself up on the crib so Luz could see her and play some more with her necklace, something she had apparently grown very fascinated with.

Dialing her nanny’s number, she held the scroll phone to her ear and waited for the witch to accept the call while watching the tiny baby drooling all over the gem. A small smile grew on her lips.

This was actually kinda nice.

It was sweet to see Luz like this, so young and absolutely fascinated by everything, much like her teenage self, just a lot simpler.

“Hello, Amity!”, her nanny answered the phone and Amity heard the telltale cry of babies in the background, making her grimace.

“Hi, Nana!”, she greeted her old nanny and rubbed over her face, trying her best to formulate the following story as harmlessly as possible, “Uhm, what do little human babies eat when they’re maybe, four months old?”

The line remained silent for a little, until Luz squealed at the gem, making Amity flinch.

“… Why are you with a human baby?”, her nanny asked and Amity grimaced.

“That’s a long story that nobody needs to know about. In short, I’m babysitting. She’s four months old and liked to pull my hair. So, what do they eat?”

Her nanny remained quiet for a second again and Amity started fidgeting.

“Well, I suppose human babies aren’t that different from witch babies. If the baby can sit, and seems interested in solids, you can feed that to it.”, she explained and Amity nodded, making a note to test if Luz could sit already.

“Okay, got it. Can I call you again if I need more advice? I’m kinda alone with the baby right now and the uh-… Mother didn’t leave me any hints.”, Amity pulled a face at calling Eda Luz’s mother, even if she supposed that they had grown quite close ever since Luz arrived here.

“Yes, I might just be a little busy sometimes. Is there anything else that you’re not telling me? You know I notice if you’re lying.”, her nanny prodded and she knew that she just wanted some details on the human baby.

Amity huffed.

“Don’t worry, everything is fine. If I’m in a house that’s not exactly made for a baby, though, and can’t find baby food, what do I do then? Because I can’t really leave.”

“Well, I could come over an-”

“I’ll just mash something up, thank you Nana, byeee!”, Amity panicked and hung up, breathing quickly. If her old nanny had known she was in the Owl House, with a teenager turned baby, she’d be done for. Her parents would know faster than she could blink.

Luz meanwhile looked up to her and reached for her hair again, but Amity scowled at her.

“No, you lost all hair privileges.”

Baby Luz started tearing up so Amity sighed and rolled her eyes before lifting her out of her crib again and starting to bounce her.

“Let’s see what we can do together, hm? There should be something safe around here that we can mess with. Maybe some plushies. Didn’t you tell me of King’s army once? I bet he has some plushies. Or maybe you have some! We can look through your stuff and see what we can find.”

The baby kicked a little and Amity took that as a yes.

“Let’s go then, we can hopefully find something to keep you busy. And I can read The Good Witch Azura to you!”, at that name, the tiny baby squealed and Amity giggled while cradling her safely and starting to go upstairs again, “Oh you remember her, huh? I should’ve figured, who could ever forget Azura?”

Sure enough, she found a little plush in Luz’s stuff, and it seemed like Luz was recognizing it because she reached for it, so Amity put her down on her back on top of her sleep cocoon – Luz had explained to her what that was once but she had forgotten again, in any case, it was soft enough for a baby to lie on it – and gave her the toy while sitting down next to her, smiling when baby Luz started taking the plush into her mouth as well.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wash that for you once you’re back to normal again.”, she smirked and propped herself up on an arm, leaning over Luz, “Aren’t you a cute one, hm?”

The tiny baby giggled at her and kicked, then she reached out to brush over her soft baby skin, humming.

“You were so adorable as a baby! And you already had your big, brown eyes. I bet your mom could tell you’d be pretty someday.”

Luz laughed again and lost the toy she had been drooling over, making Amity fetch it for her and give it back, watching Luz’s tiny fingers clumsily grasping the fur of the plush. A warm feeling rose in Amity’s chest while she watched the baby playing like this, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe I’ll have a tiny baby like you someday when I’m older and ready. And maybe she’ll look like you.”, daydreaming about her crush wasn’t uncommon for Amity, even drawing fanart of her and Luz and losing herself in fantasies about them marrying someday, but she hadn’t even once thought about having a baby with Luz. She supposed her teenage hormones and developing motherly instincts connected the baby in front of her to a faraway future that could maybe be a possibility.

In an instant, though, Amity became beet red when thinking about having a baby with Luz. That would mean they’d be married, which would mean they had a relationship before that, which would, in turn, mean that Amity would confess her feelings to her.

Which would not ever happen, nope!

She spluttered then she turned away and shook her head, listening to Luz still brabbling on and telling the plush some serious stories, having rolled over by now and holding it in front of her face.

Her tiny knees bumped against Amity’s hips and she looked back.

She had to admit, it was a nice little daydream. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy like that.

“You’re so tiny…”, she giggled, her blush fading when she took one of Luz’s feet and tickled the baby through its sock, laughing when she looked up to her irritated.

“Oh, come on, your mom tickled you before I’m sure!”

The baby gurgled and giggled then when she tickled her again and left the plush to try and grab at Amity’s face. The teen reached up to tie all her hair up to a high ponytail, which still left out a few strands, but way less to give the baby any chance to pull on them again, and lifted Luz up to sit her down on her lap against her thighs, leaning in a little so they were close.

Baby Luz reached out to her nose and grabbed it, making the witch laugh and blow a tiny raspberry on the baby’s wrist.

“What’re you trying to do with my nose, steal it?”, she asked and Luz laughed, flailing, before patting her cheek and reaching for Amity’s nose again, causing her to laugh.

She sat back a little to lean against the couch table and pull her knees a little closer, so Luz could sit a little more upright. Her tiny legs were crossed over Amity’s stomach and while she held onto her knee with one arm to keep the position, she reached down to grab Luz’s foot again and slightly shake it, successfully diverting the baby’s attention from grabbing at her nose.

“You’re actually quite easy to handle. Boscha’s little sister is sweet and all, but she does learn a lot from her older sister. Sometimes she’s a real handful. You’re just curious, aren’t you?”

Luz tried grabbing at her hand which still softly shook her foot, then the baby looked up again and grabbed Amity’s upper lip instead, blinking at the sight when she uncovered Amity’s teeth.

The girl laughed again but permitted the baby to continue, opening her mouth for her.

“An wha’re yu trayna do now?”, she slurred, her mouth opened, when the baby searched and lifted her second hand to grab Amity’s lower teeth, inspecting them with very careful, pointed movements. She wouldn’t have thought Luz to be so coordinated while being so clumsy.

The baby hiccupped, still tapping around on her teeth and discovering her fangs, before Amity laughed and closed her mouth, very softly biting down on her fingers and closing her lips as well. Luz recoiled and pulled her fingers back, obviously surprised by Amity doing that, but she quickly found delight in that. Amity opened her mouth back up again and Luz made it a game to grab at her teeth while Amity softly tried catching her, playfully snapping at her.

Luz laughed and laughed, so much so that she really started hiccupping now, until Amity stopped and chuckled as well, but dodged all of the baby’s attempts with her hand, catching both of them on Luz’s belly while looking at her.

“Luz, are you hungry?”

But Luz wasn’t done playing yet. Instead, she freed her tiny hands and once again reached for Amity’s face, this time her cheeks. Before she could pinch her skin, though, Amity quickly blew some air into her cheeks and the small baby laughed when she let it escape again.

They continued playing for a little while, Luz exploring and discovering Amity’s face thoroughly, until the teen was not only covered in her own drool but also Luz’s since she just couldn’t stop taking her little fists in her own mouth all over again.

“Okay, that’s enough now, you had your fun. I wanna wash my face.”

She lifted the baby off her lap and set her down, giving her back the plush, before going to the kitchen and turning on the sink to rub all over her face, before furrowing her eyebrows at the sink’s depth.

A baby could comfortably sit in there.

Amity smiled. She knew exactly how she was going to wash Luz now, without being embarrassed too much – hopefully.

Returning to the living room, she checked on Luz who was animatedly telling her plush something very important – she supposed, at least, Luz was fixating the toy and brabbling in one go – so she went back inside to get some fruit and milk Eda had luckily kept around and begun preparing what she thought was best for a baby’s meal.

First, she made sure to remove all the seeds and skin, then she mushed it the best she could so she had a soft goo, and put some milk into it, to make it a little more fluid so Luz could eat it. She supposed that should be enough to feed a baby, for a little bit at least. She was kinda left alone here without any proper meal plan, so she just made do of what she could find.

After preparing the meal and finding the tiniest little spoon to fit in Luz’s mouth, she grabbed the jar in which she had created the meal and carried it back to the living room to find Luz trying to shuffle away from the sleeping bag, her little legs kicking and her hands moving and working while she lifted her head, making Amity chuckle. “And where do you think you’re going?”

The baby looked up at her and huffed, trying to move again, but Amity just picked Luz up and set her back down on her lap like before, letting her lean against her thighs to feed her.

Luz was active and interested enough in the dinner Amity had made for her so she supposed it was fine.

As Amity discovered shortly, though, Luz was a little too active. At the first spoon, she knew this was going to be a pain. After scooping some up, she put the spoon on the baby’s lips and opened her own mouth, for Luz to imitate her, but the baby was too engrossed with other things, like staring at Amity and flailing.

“Luz, you gotta open your mouth.”, she prodded, but she kept her lips firmly shut, “Please? Pretty please?”

She tried letting the baby taste the fruity mix a little, and it worked after she had managed to push the spoon’s tip through her lips. Suddenly opening her mouth wide, Luz allowed her to push the spoon inside. The first three to five spoons were not a problem.

But then, Luz discovered, she could also spit the food back out again. Which was apparently a lot more fun than just letting it disappear.

Amity had just giggled at imitating a griffin flying the spoon into Luz’s mouth, and already scooped up the next one, when a kinda warm goopy mess landed on her arm. The teen squinted her eyes and slowly looked back to Luz, who still had her mouth opened, drool connecting to the griffin spoon’s content that now sat on Amity’s arm. She huffed at the baby.

“I thought we had an agreement, Luz.”, she pointed at Luz quickly closing her mouth again, then she helpfully pointed at the slime on Amity’s arm. At that, Amity couldn’t help but chuckle, then she wiped it with a tissue she had smartly remembered to bring as well.

“I know feeding a baby is messy. But seriously, you didn’t need to spit it on me. You have plenty of room to spit it on yourself!”, Amity suggested while spreading the cloth on her chest now so her clothes wouldn’t suffer at least.

The baby on her lap merely whined, then she managed to get the next spoon inside of her mouth, nodding when the baby swallowed.

“That’s right. You gotta eat, you know, to become tall, and lanky, and the nerd I know you to be. The nerdiest dweeb, with your not at all weak nerd arms.”, she softly pinched the baby’s arm and Luz giggled, making Amity’s heart go warm again.

“You’re such a cheerful baby. I seriously haven’t met a baby that giggly yet.”

Luz patted on the tissue Amity had spread on herself, brabbling something, while Amity tried the next spoon again. This time, a noise distracted Luz, though, and she turned her head when Amity just tried to put the spoon in her mouth. Oh, this was going to be messy.

Now that the first interest in eating had faded, Luz was not going to be focused anymore. But she knew she’d have to wash the baby after this anyway, so she just continued trying to feed her.

Until Luz also discovered that she could play with her food, much to Amity’s dismay.

“No, Luz, do-… Don’t spit it out! Damnit!”, the baby had already dropped the load and began mushing it on her onesie, making Amity pull up her eyebrows, “You decide to be messy now, hm? Okay then. That just makes the bath last longer, I hope you know that.”

The baby looked up to her, but obviously, she didn’t recognize the word. Instead, she connected two other dots.

With her fruit-goopy hand, Luz now patted her cheek. Amity wrinkled her nose at the stickiness.

“Really? You want me to wash, too?”

The baby giggled while the teen leaned back and managed to get her hand off of her cheek. Luckily, she turned her attention back to the dirty onesie again, and Amity tried to give her the next spoon but Luz grew skeptical, suddenly. Rolling her eyes, she attracted the baby’s attention and showed her a spoon, but her lips stayed closed this time.

“You’ve been eating it the whole time and now you don’t want it anymore?”, Luz’s response was clear. Huffing, Amity ate the spoonful herself and looked at the baby in a demonstration before exaggerating on her reaction.

“Mmmh! That tastes so good! Let me have another!”, she watched the baby staring when she took another spoon in her mouth, almost giggling at Luz’s eyebrows furrowing, “That’s so tasty!”

Just when Amity wanted to take another spoon – it really didn’t taste bad at all – Luz clumsily reached for her wrist and whined, wanting to have the spoon to herself. Smirking, Amity gave it to her and smiled when the baby swallowed. Jealousy about food always worked.

Well, it worked for a bite, until Luz was distracted by something else again, making Amity grow exasperated when she lowered the spoon.

“Luz.”, the baby still tried to reach her necklace, causing the witch to lift an eyebrow, “Luz? C’mon, a little more, still. Usually, you’re really hungry.”

The baby whined and grabbed at the necklace, but Amity put it down her shirt and tried feeding Luz again. However, the baby was too smart for her. She leaned forward and grabbed Amity’s collar, making her yelp at the dirty little hands smearing fruit goo on her clothes, then Luz pulled the shirt back and tried reaching for the necklace again.

Amity groaned, trying to get the baby’s little hand out of her cleavage, while not losing grip of the spoon.

“Luz! You can play later, stop-”, she finally nudged the baby’s hands away from her clothes and rolled her eyes at the marks she had left on her collar, before softly guiding her to lean back against her thighs, shaking her head at the baby, “Don’t-… Do that again. Even if you’re a baby right now, that’s not acceptable. Got it?”

Ugh, she already sounded like her mother.

Luz pouted and she could tell she was about to burst into tears, making Amity gulp.

“Aw, it’s okay. I’ll let you play after you eat some more! We can share a spoon if that’d make you happy!”, she made some exaggerated movements to distract Luz, and luckily, the baby bought into it when she threatened to eat a spoon again, making her catch her wrist again and lead the spoon back to her mouth. Amity giggled when she softly brushed over Luz’s temple, humming.

“I’m just glad you’re not super small, like, a newborn. It would’ve become so much harder caring for you then.”, the baby giggled at her and since she had managed half the glass, Amity supposed Luz was good to go.

That meant bathing time.

Amity grimaced already, but there was no way around it. Luz was covered in sticky fruit goo and she supposed this was a normal babysitting job she had to do.

Oh no.

But she couldn’t bail out. This was a baby, she couldn’t wash herself yet, and it wasn’t embarrassing at all! Luz would probably not remember anything about this and she had to do it.

She had to.

Amity got up and cradled Luz in her arms, not minding the sticky fingers now playing with her shirt again, and grabbed the jar to bring it back to the kitchen. She spread a towel on the table and put Luz on it, always keeping an eye on the baby so that she wouldn’t roll off, while closing the container with a lid and putting it in the fridge, before clogging the sink to fill it just a little with warm water. Luz tried rolling over but Amity held her back and chuckled.

“Can’t have you on your back now. You’ll just be up to shenanigans.”, tiny Luz giggled, making Amity affectionately roll her eyes, “Does Eda keep soap anywhere?”

The baby huffed and giggled again as a response, still trying to turn over while Amity now stepped closer and caught her between her arms, propping herself up on the table before leaning down and blowing a mock raspberry on the baby’s belly that was still covered by the onesie.

Luz squealed and patted Amity’s head, making the teen chuckle.

“I’m not gonna get home clean, hm? But you’re too sweet for me to be mad at you. Now, c’mon, let’s get some soap for you.”

She grabbed the baby to search for soap upstairs, and when she found some that smelled like Luz usually smelled like when she was fresh from the shower, she walked down again. The baby had insisted to hold the soap, and all the while Amity made sure she wouldn’t put it in her mouth, then came the moment Amity had dreaded.

She put Luz down on the counter and sighed.

“Okay, here we go. I mean, you’re just a little baby, but I sure hope you won’t remember this.”, Luz giggled and kicked, making Amity smile, “You’re a doofus, you know that? Always making me smile like that, even if you’re a baby.”

After opening the first button, it wasn’t as bad as Amity had thought.

Slipping into busy work, she opened up the onesie and pulled it out from underneath Luz, then she took off her little tiny socks – they were just round and Amity had to cry a little at that – and removed the diaper to discard it, before slowly setting Luz down in the sink. The baby recoiled at the feeling of water at first but quickly got used to it, even finding some joy in splashing around. Amity supposed she would turn up at home clean after all, if Luz continued soaking her like that.

“Wait, hold still, I gotta wash you actually! This is not a swimming lesson!”

Luz laughed and squealed and overall made Amity completely forget this was her naked crush sitting in a sink. She had all her hands full to somehow contain this little bundle of joy. Because without fail, Luz managed to be even more cheerful when in water.

After soaping her in and taking care to scrub all the lunch off of the baby and keeping her eyes soap-free, she washed Luz off again, unclogged the sink, and lifted the baby out with a towel, drying her off while cradling her.

And again, there was the smile Amity couldn’t contain when Luz laughed and flailed like this, moving so much that she sometimes worried she’d drop her.

She hadn’t ever dreamed up that Luz would be even more energetic than she was usually as her teenage self, but as it seemed, baby Luz was absolutely eager to prove her wrong in every way she could.

Laughing, she cradled Luz closer and trapped her tiny arms and legs in the towel to dry off her face, softly rubbing over her forehead and temples. Just when she brushed down to Luz’s cheek, the tiny baby began suckling. They both looked at each other surprised, then Amity giggled as she tried that again, making Luz start to work her tongue and cheeks, swallowing multiple times. Amity smirked.

“Now I can at least make you eat. That’s good to know.”, she smugly stated and the baby giggled again once she stopped brushing over her cheek, trying to free herself from the towel, so Amity carefully put her down on the table and dried off the rest of her, before grabbing a makeshift diaper Eda had apparently still crafted, wrapping it around Luz and keeping her lying on the table so she couldn’t turn.

“Luz, just let me dress you, it’s a little chilly, and – where did the onesie go I just saw? Wait, there was one, I just don’t know-”, furrowing her eyebrows, Amity looked all over the table, then back to the sink. No onesie to be found, just the old, sticky one. But she could’ve sworn she had just seen it.

Letting go of Luz, she went to bend down under the table, then she quickly jogged back to the living room to grab the onesie off the coffee table, before running back, so Luz wouldn’t fall off the table.

Instead of being met with a catastrophe, though, she watched Luz turning over and getting on all fours to start crawling towards her. Well, shifting towards her, Luz still didn’t exactly figure out how crawling worked so she was doing more of a shuffling kinda pushy motion, to get where she wanted to be. Amity had to chuckle at that.

“Don’t wanna put on clothes, hm?”

She propped her arms up on the wooden surface of the table and put her chin down as well, watching the baby shuffling its way towards her. She giggled when Luz reached her and softly slapped her hand on her nose, then she leaned back again and scooped her up, minding her head when she turned her over and placed a raspberry on her belly.

“Not on my watch, tiny Luz!”, the baby giggled and squealed loudly, then she felt the baby’s hands on her cheeks and raspberried her again, “Okay, let’s get you dressed, hm?”

The baby interestedly watched the onesie she had found, then she huffed when Amity spread it on the towel that she had dried Luz in, and put her down. In an instant, the baby wailed.

Rolling her eyes, Amity groaned and propped her elbows up next to the baby to wall her in, getting closer with her face while she softly rubbed Luz’s temples. The wails became less until she was just sniffling at the sudden cuddles, then she pouted again and threatened to blow.

“Luz, it’s kinda chilly, I just wanna put some clothes on you, okay?”, Amity tried consoling and negotiating, but the baby wouldn’t hear any of it. As soon as she felt the witchling trying to sneakily wrestle her tiny arm into the sleeve, she began crying again. Sighing, Amity nodded, then she straightened back up again.

“Alright, tell you what. You’ll play for a little bit and I’ll prepare a surprise for you. And as soon as you get cold, I get to dress you, okay?”

Luz was still crying, so Amity lifted her off the counter and carried her back to the living room to place her on her sleeping bag, then she made a big ‘oooh’ and ‘aaaah’ sound while pulling up Luz’s plush, which seemed to distract the baby enough not to protest any further. Amity giggled.

“See? There you go. Have a little fun with them, I’ll be right back.”, she bopped the completely indulged baby on the nose and went upstairs, to go into Luz’s room. Well, honestly, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with going through her things, especially since she was a baby, but she hoped what she planned would convince Luz to put on some clothes. She didn’t wanna hand her back to Eda sick, after all.

To her big luck, what she searched for was lying in the open. She had remembered right, from bringing the sleeping bag down! And she didn’t have to go through Luz’s things and find some possibly flustering things. For the first time, she thanked Luz for being so messy sometimes.

Running back down with the surprise in her hands, she met the baby trying to roll off the sleeping bag again and chuckled to herself, leaning against the doorframe and crossing her arms to watch her for a moment while she didn’t know she was back yet.

Luz finally succeeded to get past the almost impossible barrier of the slightly higher seam around the edge of the sleeping bag, and got to all fours, facing away from Amity. She started shuffling across the carpet, then, her hips still down on the floor and her little legs kicking along the ground, to shuffle to the direction where she wanted to be. Amity smirked when she watched the baby exploring and reaching out to stuff like a leg of the couch table or a little pill of wool off the carpet, but when she started reaching for a hissing and snapping book next to the couch table Amity decided that was enough exploring for now. Moving quickly, she scooped the baby up and pulled her away from the book about necromancy, then she pulled up her eyes at the halfhearted protests from her friend, before sitting down on the sleeping bag with her.

“Yes, I know, I’m so evil. But look! I got something for you!”

She got into the same position again as before when she had fed her, finding holding the baby with her legs while sitting against the couch very relaxing. Especially since Luz could watch her and she could make sure the active baby wouldn’t escape.

Giggling, she attracted the attention of the baby before pulling out what she had found in Luz’s room. It was the cat hoodie that her grown-up friend loved to wear. Instant recognition went over the baby’s face and she grabbed for it, feeling the cloth. Amity almost had the feeling she not only recognized it but also that a slight hint of older Luz went over her young face before she turned back to the drooling little baby by trying to put the fabric into her mouth. Quickly, Amity pulled the hoodie away and chuckled, shaking her head. It must’ve been wishful thinking that Luz could somehow wake up. She supposed the potion Luz was on not only aged up and down but also moved time in the vessel of the person drinking it. Thus, no wearing off.

She smiled at the baby, then she held up the cropped hoodie.

“Let’s make a deal, okay? I put on this, because I’m chilly, and you put on your onesie. Your feet are cold already!”

The baby did not understand what she was inquiring, but she reacted so adorably when Amity tickled her little feet, laughing and kicking. Then, the teen leaned back.

“See, okay? Getting dressed isn’t as bad!”, she opened the hoodie and a full nose of Luz’s scent hit her. Kinda like lemons. She almost got dizzy about putting on some of her crush’s clothes, but she had a baby to convince. That was more important.

Amity pulled the hoodie down over her face and thought she might faint from being flustered, but as soon as she peeked through the collar, she saw the expectant face of the baby. This did it. Pulling down the cloth, she laughed, then she clasped her hand around the chubby cheeks and squealed.

“Peek-a-boo!”, she exclaimed and the baby immediately laughed and squealed in excitement. When Amity pulled up the hoodie over her head and revealed the cat ears, Luz wasn’t stoppable. She giggled and squealed all the way as Amity dressed her, occasionally playing with the little cat ears on her head, then she lifted the baby up and let her little hand play with the ears. Luz was super excitable over things like these, which hadn’t changed when turning into a baby.

After a while, though, Luz got a little fussy and Amity realized she was tired. Right, babies needed to nap more often, because their little brains got overstimulated. Humming, Amity scooped up the baby and carried her over to her crib, but the sight of the bed just made Luz cry more. Sighing, the teen stopped.

“But you gotta sleep now, I can tell you’re tired. C’mon, just a little.”

Luz full-on began wailing when she lowered her down into the crib so she deadpanned and lifted her back up in her arms, sighing when she began bopping the baby and calming her down. Soon, Luz snuggled up against her shoulder and began dozing, so Amity waited until her eyes were closed and tried putting her back in her crib but Luz wouldn’t have it. Sniffling again, she looked up to Amity out of big, teary eyes and the witchling quickly lifted her back up.

“Okay, fine. You can sleep in your sleeping bag. But no fussing anymore, okay?”, she kneeled on the floor and handled the sleepy, cranky baby carefully, lowering her down into the sleeping bag, then she smiled and placed her hand on the baby’s tummy to settle her down, “There you go. And now we close these big eyes of yours and sleep, okay? It’s just a nap.”

Luz pouted again and Amity could imagine what she wanted.

“You want us to snuggle?”

Since the baby couldn’t understand or answer, she lifted her up again and shuffled them both into the sleeping bag, resting Luz next to her and rubbing her tummy.

“There we go, okay? You go sleep while I call Willow. Is that a deal?”

Baby Luz whined softly before closing her eyes and huffing, then she lifted her tiny fists to place them next to her head and touched Amity’s ear with one. When she tried to move away, the baby started whining again so she sighed and let Luz touch her ear, despite heavily blushing, and allowed her to softly grab it to fall asleep. She also wouldn’t allow her to remove her hand so she had to lie kind of arms crossed on her back when Luz finally fell asleep. The baby’s hands went slack and Amity could relax, turning to her side and smiling when she watched baby Luz. She was adorable, honestly.

With her being so hyperactive, she hadn’t had much chance to really look at her, so she had the time now when Luz didn’t move all the time.

Her face was so small and chubby. Amity almost squealed at that, but she kept quiet. Smiling to herself, she reached out to softly brush over the bridge of the baby’s nose, humming when she made her breathe slower through that. She seemed to like it.

Only after exploring Luz’s tiny baby face thoroughly, she summoned her scroll phone and took a picture that she saved in her heart, and then she tapped in Willow’s number. Immediately, when it started dialing, she saw herself on her phone. She had started a video call. Well, might as well show Willow what was going on. Maybe it’d be easier to understand then.

She turned the phone away from Luz, though, only focused the screen on her lying on the floor, then she sighed and breathed through. She wanted help so badly, being alone with a baby had not been on her schedule and she had to go home at some time. Willow’s dads were much more understanding, maybe they’d let her come and stay the night with Luz.

The call dialed for a while, then it was accepted and Willow looked at her with a question mark written all over her face.

“Hey, Amity? What’s up?”

Grimacing, the witchling rubbed her neck, then she sighed.

“Uhm… I’m in a little bit of a situation here. So… How does ‘babysitting at the Owl House’ sound to you?”, she grinned helplessly and Willow looked right through her.

“Highly suspicious. What did you do?”, she narrowed her eyes, huffing at her behavior. Amity groaned.

“Willow, I gotta get home, my parents are gonna kill me if I stay past curfew but someone’s gotta watch her.”, she whined. At that, Willow rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“You’re making no sense, Amity. Watch who? Why babysitting?”, she asked and Amity grimaced before tilting her phone so the tiny baby Luz came into view. Willow stayed silent for a second, her mouth and eyes wide open, then she looked back at Amity who was still half on the screen, “What-… Did you-… Do?!”

Sighing, Amity turned the phone back to her and shook her head, groaning.

“Luz was aged down to a baby. I don’t know what happened, but Eda left me alone with her to watch her until tomorrow morning. I don’t even know what I’m doing!”, she groaned again, “Help mee!”

Willow’s face looked even more shocked.

“Wait, that was Luz?!”, she asked incredulously and Amity deadpanned.

“Who did you think I was babysitting?!”, she asked and Willow smirked at that, making Amity blush a little, “Anyway, I can’t stay. I got to go home because my parents expect me in an hour. Can you make it?”

At that, Willow sighed and shook her head.

“I’m so sorry, Amity. I absolutely would love to babysit Luz, as weird as that sounds, but I can’t today. We’re having a family evening. I can’t just bail out on this.”

Grimacing, Amity turned to the side when Luz squirmed, then she casually reached up with her free hand and brushed over Luz’s palm, sighing. Willow smiled at that.

“Well, it looks like you got this. And Luz looks content, so.”, Willow grinned at that and Amity blushed.

“I-… I managed. I fed her and bathed her and we played a little.”, she huffed, then she pouted, “I need help, though. I don’t know what to do until tomorrow! How am I supposed to keep her happy until then?”

Willow shrugged at that, humming.

“I don’t know, honestly. I’m just fourteen.”

“Me, too!”, Amity groaned and turned to the side, nuzzling her face against Luz’s hand while curling in, feeling her knees bumping against her little slack legs. Suddenly, Willow smiled wider, almost grinning.

“Is that Luz’s hoodie you’re wearing?”, she suddenly asked and Amity couldn’t suppress a smile and a blush.

“Th-That was the only way to get her dressed again! Luz is a really hyperactive baby, I had no other choice.”

The grin her old friend gave her the impression that she very much had another choice, that this was just the option she had wanted to pick. Trying to ignore the smug witchling on the call, she sighed and crossed her eyes to look at Luz’s tiny, super soft hand.

“Willow, seriously, I gotta get home somehow. I can’t stay here but I can’t leave this baby alone. What am I supposed to do?!”

At that, her maybe-friend shrugged, then she tried a smile at her.

“Maybe try to ask your siblings? Maybe they’ll cover for you. Or ask Gus!”, both slanted their lips, “Okay, maybe don’t ask Gus. He’s maybe not the most mature babysitter.”

Groaning, Amity slumped her arm, the scroll phone vanishing behind the sleeping baby, then she sighed as she lifted it again, pouting.

“So, what do I do?”, she asked and tried her best not to snap at Willow or say something she’d regret. She did not want to disturb the fragile peace they had managed to settle on. But she also couldn’t bear the wrath of her parents.

Shrugging, Willow rubbed her cheek, then she flinched at her father calling.

“Ask the twins, I can’t help you. I’m so sorry.”, she grimaced at another call, then she sighed, “Sorry, I really gotta go now. Bye!”

Amity grumbled when she hung up. Who should she call, then?

Boscha? No, absolutely not. The rest of her gang? No, not really. They were all so immature. The detention tracks? She couldn’t expect basically strangers to watch her.

So, she was all alone.

Amity whined again, softly rubbing Luz’s palm. Should she call the twins and ask for an excuse? She didn’t want to. That’d cost her, a lot. And maybe even an explanation. She absolutely did not want to. But what other choice did she have?

Grumbling, she dialed her sister’s number. This was not going to be funny, she supposed. Well, for herself, anyways. For her siblings, it’d be an absolute treat.

It only took a moment before Emira answered and already smirked, so Amity made sure not to show the sleeping baby. Too late, she noticed she was still wearing Luz’s hoodie that Willow had already noticed. Oh, she was dead.

“Hello, mittens!”, her sister greeted and Amity groaned, “I see you’re having fun over at the Owl house. Didn’t know you and Luz were already at clothes swapping level.”

Welp, there went her dignity. If she was already this low, she could just as well cut to the point.

“Emira, I can’t make it home tonight.”

In an instant, her sister’s face changed to such a smug, shit-eating grin that Amity realized what her mistake was. Oh.

This had sounded wrong. While her sister called over Edric to ‘get a load of this’ she began blushing deeply. Which didn’t exactly help her situation.

“I-I meant-”

“Too late, mittens! But don’t you think it’s a little early for you two to be so intimate already?”, her brother now chirped and she hated every second of the twins staring at her with equally matching smirks.

“We’re not-! I mean, I’m serious, I can’t get home, I need to babysit-… King! I can’t leave King alone! Because Eda’s not here”, she scrambled, and her siblings didn’t seem to buy it. Even if she hadn’t lied about Eda being gone for the night.

“Yes, suuure, you need to babysit King. The demon. We believe every word.”, Emira winked and Amity wanted nothing more than to sink into Luz’s scented hoodie and hide forever.

“… Can you please make sure mother and father don’t notice?”, she finally built up the nerve to say, just as Edric summoned up a tiny Amity and a tiny Luz in the air between the twins, making them act all blushing and even letting them kiss chastely. She was just glad her brother wasn’t weird enough to let them kiss more. But it absolutely didn’t help, seeing the illusions giggling.

Titan, how she wished that was what she was actually doing. Casting a side glance to the sleeping baby Luz, she sighed, then she pulled up the hoodie and rolled her eyes, to hide her blazing face at least somewhat.

“Only if you admit it!”, her sister laughed and thankfully, wiped Edric’s illusions away so they wouldn’t kiss again, “Admit that you two are planning to smooch all night long!”

“We are not!”, she snapped. She wasn’t lying, at least. She and Luz would probably only play until a reasonable hour and then she’d put her down to sleep, “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Please just do it, I’ll do anything!”

As soon as she’d said it, she regretted the words coming from her mouth. Now she was in for it.

The smug grins on the twins’ faces spoke volumes.

“If you admit what you and Luz are doing tonight-…”, her sister began, and her brother finished her sentence.

“… And if you don’t snitch to our parents about our extracurricular activities until we graduate-…”, he grinned and Amity knew this was gonna have more demands to it.

“… And if you-”

“That’s enough.”, she quickly interfered and her siblings shrugged. They figured there was going to be more opportunities to blackmail their little sister.

“… Then, you can count on us to make an illusion.”, Emira nodded, as if the deal was settled, “So, spill!”

Groaning, Amity contemplated showing them the baby next to her. But that’d only cause them to use the extra hour of curfew they had because of being older to pay them a visit and tease her to no end. On the other hand, maybe that’d amuse Luz. And maybe they would actually be good with the baby.

At that, Amity scrunched her nose.

They would kill her. Telling a lie, then.

“We-… We’re watching movies.”, she began lamely and grimaced, knowing she’d have to provide juicier details to shut them up, “… A-And we’re cuddling. There you have it. Can you please bail me out now? I won’t snitch.”

Edric hummed at that.

“That isn’t enough, mittens, we know what’s up. We wanna hear it from you.”

“Get lost!”, she snapped again, this time a little louder, and didn’t notice the baby next to her flinching. A second later, her siblings saw the witchling’s eyes blow wide when a baby’s scream interrupted their call, “Gotta go, bye!”

Hanging up and throwing her scroll phone away immediately, Amity turned over to Luz and quickly took her in her arms, before rolling on her back and patting the baby’s head, sighing when she wailed and hid her face on the crook of the teen’s neck.

“Aw, Luz, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, it’s okay. I didn’t mean to yell. My siblings just drive me insane sometimes. I’m so sorry, please don’t be upset.”

The hug after being awaked so rudely seemed to calm her down, and she actually got quieter and only sniffled against Amity’s neck now, still cuddling closer. When she tried to lift her up and put her back down next to her, Luz only whimpered and somehow held onto her neck, not wanting to move, so Amity sighed and let her finish her nap on top of her chest.

Quickly, she dialed the twins again, on Emira’s number, and tried holding the phone so they wouldn’t see the baby snuggled up to her jaw, but the skeptical faces said everything.

“… Mittens, who did you say you’re babysitting?”, her brother finally broke the silence and Amity sighed, shaking her head.

“That’s not important. Could you maybe, pretty please, handle our parents? I really can’t leave here.”

Emira held up her finger and shook her head, actually seeming a little disgruntled that Amity would keep information from her, even lie.

“New conditions for our deal. You stop lying and tell us what’s going on.”

The teen rolled her eyes and sighed. Suited her right for letting herself get into a blackmail situation.

“Fine. But you can’t tell anyone, absolutely nobody. Or we’ll all three be toast, is that clear?”

They nodded, now super intrigued, and Amity held the phone so they could see the tiny baby curled up on her chest, the small arms wrapped around her neck while she held her close with her free hand.

In an instant, Edric cooed and got teary eyes about how adorable that baby was while Emira furrowed her eyebrows and moved closed to the screen.

“That baby is pure sugar!!”, her brother exclaimed, and her sister agreed but still skeptically glared at Amity.

“… Either Luz has a little sibling that magically got transported here from the human realm, or you two had a love child.”, she announced and Amity's face took on an unparalleled shade of red.

“We-… We did not have a love child! You do know we’re fourteen, right?!”, she tried to snap as quietly as she could, but Luz still squirmed due to being much closer to her now and she quickly shushed the baby and rubbed over her back while her brother just fell over, jokingly pretending to faint, “… That’s-… That’s actually Luz…”

At her confession, Edric’s face immediately squished back against Emira’s, their expressions of clear surprise matching. Silence followed and Amity uncomfortably squirmed. Then, Emira turned away from the phone while the background began moving, the twins seemingly walking. Oh no…

“Mother, Father, we’ll get Amity! We’ll be back by her curfew!”

“No, no, please don’t-”, she already began but her brother just took the phone from Emira when they began jogging out the front door.

“There’s no way we’re missing this, mittens.”

“Besides, that’d be the perfect opportunity to bring home your illusion inconspicuously.”, Emira reasoned and Amity couldn’t argue. Their parents liked to control her homework and ask for a magic demonstration. If she came home with the twins, they’d be able to hide her better.

“Fine. But take your time, her nap isn’t done yet!”, she tried, making Edric clasp his hand over his heart and hand the phone back to Emira who now joined in on their brother’s cooing.

“You’re so motherly, mittens! That’s downright adorable!”, she grinned and Amity grumbled. She’d never live this down, great.

“Just don’t lose your minds immediately. Or at least do it quietly. I want her to sleep as much as possible.”, at that, the twins gave three thumbs up, minus the hand holding the phone, and hung up, clearly on their way through the forest and towards the Owl House already. Sighing, Amity let the scroll phone vanish and tried relaxing again.

Wonderful. Now she’d have to endure their antics for a full hour until they’d ‘bring her home’. She just hoped they’d be gentle with Luz. She didn’t want anything dumb to happen to her just because her brother and sister liked to be super irresponsible.

“Well, looks like we’re having guests…”, she whispered and the baby huffed in her sleep. Smiling, she nuzzled her nose into Luz’s short hair and rested her lips against her head. That wasn’t a kiss, she told herself. It was just cuddling. And even if it was a kiss, Luz would most likely not remember what happened. And babies liked kisses, right?

Sighing, she wrapped her arms around the baby, resting her hands at the opposing sides of Luz’s body, and cuddled her close. This was actually super nice…

---

Let me know if you liked it! :D

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

i couldn’t utter it, i couldn’t whisper it (my love for you was silent); ii

Chapter Two - Run Back Home

rating: its a gen fic for The Umbrella Academy

words:7.4k

chapter:2/10

Previous Chapter

warnings: physical assault mention - its a blink and you’ll miss it moment

AO3

a/n: I blame @sam-writes​ for pretty much all of this!

Summary: In one world, the young teenager hid when she abruptly found herself pregnant and she gave birth in secret, left the baby on a random doorstep, and never looked back. Unfortunately, this isn’t that world. In this world, Reginald Hargreeves finds her and takes her baby. It doesn’t end well.

After Charlie finished everything she needed too downstairs, she turned off the lights and headed to the apartment upstairs. Knickknack was nipping at her heels so she guessed that it meant they were hungry. Greedy little thing didn’t like the generic cat food she had downstairs for the actual stray cats that came through her doors, not for Knickknack. No, they wanted the good stuff she starting keeping upstairs for them.

When she got up to her kitchen, she refilled the small water and food bowls she had taken to keeping out for this exact reason. After she was sure Knickknack was content, she started on her own dinner.

When everything was finished cooking, she platted everything, poured herself a generous sized glass of wine, and moved to her bathroom. One full bathtub later, and she was satisfied. This was she needed after today - which she actually classified as successful. No one else had died, there was very little maiming, and only a little asshole like behavior. Her siblings were really on their best behavior today.

As she finished her dinner, she leaned back into the tub and just floated. She liked to float because it allowed her the illusion that her hearing was only muffled from the water and not just completely gone. It was one of the few things she could do to make herself feel better about it.

*

Charlie’s ears rang. Everything else hurt, though. She had never been in the middle of a fight between Luther and Diego before and she wasn’t planning on doing it again. One dodged punch left her flying across the room.

Pogo had helped her up and out of the room. Left sitting on the main stairs, Pogo went to find Grace to patch up her cuts. She waited for him to turn the corner to the kitchen before she got up and walked out the doors. She had moved out of the Academy years ago, and while Dad wasn’t currently home, she didn’t want to risk it - staying in the Academy longer than she already had.

She was only back because Luther had called a Family Meeting to talk about what they should do about Vanya’s book. It had spilled a lot of personal and security details about the Academy and Luther wanted to have a discussion on their options for getting it taken off the shelves or discredited.

Charlie knew she only really came to see that her brothers were still alive - Luther was easy to watch what with the missions he was still running for Dad. He was still in the news if you knew what to watch for. Diego was also semi-easy to find. His vigilante activities were not the best-kept secret and Charlie had enough people from the streets come through the store that were willing to admit they saw the ‘Off-brand Batman’ slinking about most nights. It was mostly Klaus that she had trouble keeping track of - and he was the one she was most worried about. Although she helped feed a lot of the people who called the streets home, she wasn’t one of them so they hesitated in telling her anything about one of their own. Charlie had only barely managed to track him down after she opened The Flower Shop. She figured that Ben was still haunting him - in the literal sense - and she hoped that Ben was still there even if Klaus was high. She wanted Klaus to have a set of keys to her building - both the apartment on the top floor and the main shop floors that she had stocked with homeless supply bags and had access to the Tree. The Tree was her greatest Growth. A massive 2 story tree ripe with all the fruits, veggies, and nuts that she could get seeds for, the Tree helped feed the people who came through her store. She allowed most people to take a piece or two for free but allowed the homeless and hard-hit people to come in before or after her official hours to take as much as they wanted. And while she did like helping those who needed it, she mostly had the idea so she might be able to make sure Klaus was doing ok. After she had been open for a while without seeing him, Charlie had made copies of her keys, spent 2 weeks tracking him through various dealers, johns, and the homeless, and slipped them on a chain around his neck while telling Ben, hopefully, what the keys were for and where the shop was located.

But now Luther had called a Family Meeting for the siblings still in town.

So Charlie had put on her big girl panties and made the trip home.

She had known before that Allison wasn’t going to be coming - the latest gossip magazines put her in New Zealand for her newest movie - and she guessed that Vanya wouldn’t be welcomed or even invited to the meeting that was for talking about her fuck up. Luther would obviously be there - he called the meeting - but she wasn’t sure about her other 2 living brothers. Diego might not come just because it was Luther who called the meeting. He might also come cause he wanted the Book gone. Klaus was iffy. If Luther even got a hold of him, if he was sober enough to come, if he remembered it was today…Charlie believed he’d come if only to gather stuff to steal and sell.

She didn’t know if she really wanted to be the only voice of reason amongst her brothers. Klaus would be angry but he wouldn’t really voice it to anyone except flippantly - jokingly. Diego would be furious at Vanya but he’d also want to disagree with everything that Luther would say. And Luther would be angry that nobody was agreeing with him straight up, he’d be annoyed by Klaus’ thrifty fingers and Diego’s attitude.

Apparently she had been right to be cautious about returning home. No one wanted to hear her theories about why Vanya would write the book. Nor did they even want to talk about her. And Charlie’s insistence on talking about her got on Luther and Diego’s nerves - on top of each other. It had erupted into a fistfight fairly quickly. She was the only one in the house who could step in and stop them. It was to her detriment, however. One of them threw a punch, the other one dodged it, and she caught it in the head. It had sent her flying into the wall near the doors. She felt Pogo help her to her feet and let him lead her out of the library and sat down against the stairs.

She sighed.

While this was the first time most of them were together, she knew that they no longer wanted her there.

Apparently, supporting your sister in an obvious cry for help was enough for them to cut the ties between her and them. She really shouldn’t be as surprised as she was. Throughout their childhood, the higher numbers were a close-knit group with Diego occasionally dropping them to cling to Mom, Klaus and Ben were attached at the hip, and Five and Vanya orbited each other more often than not. She just floated between all of them as needed or wanted. They were not as close as she wanted them to be so the fact that they felt comfortable enough to do that? to shut her out like they did - it hurt but she shouldn’t be so surprised.

But then Five disappeared, Vanya shut everyone out, Ben died, Klaus dove headfirst into the drugs he had only been flirting with before, and that was it for her. She waited it out till she was 17, storing up cash and items to sell, then was third to actually leave. Klaus bolted just after they all turned 16. Allison left the night before they turned 17. She left the morning after their birthday. She knew that Vanya left soon after her and that Diego held out longer than she thought he would. She knew that Luther would never actually leave. And she was right. They were full adults and here Luther was, still sprouting dad’s words as his own.

Once she was sure that Pogo was gone, she left the house slowly. She now really understood how little she was wanted there and between the missions, the meal-time tapes, and the first-aid lessons she had been taking lately, she felt confident enough to say that she could treat herself at home.

But her ears wouldn’t stop ringing. And it was getting worse.

She had decided to walk home, to help her clear her head - she didn’t want to believe any of the things that her siblings had said.

Her ears hurt.

The farther she got from the Academy, the worse the surroundings got. But her store and apartment were cheap because of the reputation of the area.

As she was passing through the last alley before she got to her street, she failed to notice the figures standing in the shadows.

Her ears were ringing, there was a hand covering her mouth, and an arm across her waist.

*

It was as she was getting out of the tub that she felt the disturbance.

She was always connected to the Green in her apartment when she was close enough, she could use it as a safety blanket because it allowed her to get a better sense of who was around her when she couldn’t hear them. And her sense was telling her that there was someone now in the living room.

She finished drying off and slipped on her robe, then went to see who was bothering her this late at night. She had a pretty good guess on who it was already because she hadn’t felt any of the windows or the door open.

As she stepped into her living room, she took a glance around and saw him going through her kitchen. Her best guess? He was still looking for coffee. She went to grab it for him.

As she was reaching for it; Five stepped up next to her, covered her eyes, and stopped her. A few seconds later, he dropped his hand and she saw he was frowning at her. Then he started to sign at her.

What happened? Why can’t you hear? How bad is the loss?

She frowned at him, debating on whether or not she actually wanted to talk about this with him. But she guessed that his time in the future only made him more stubborn, not less.

Bad. The hearing is a complete loss. So is the voice.

At that, he switched his focus to her throat. She grabbed his hand and ran it along the scar that took her voice years ago. It was very well hidden underneath her butterfly tattoo and most people couldn’t even see it when they knew to look. Five tilted her head back and crowded her so he could get a closer look and then his eyes finally seemed to catch the extreme color that lined both her arms, her collarbone, and her throat. He shook his head and that seemed to drag him back into focus.

But what happened?

It was an accident that led to an attack years ago.

They proved they were siblings when the next part of their conversation happened entirely with their eyebrows. His was telling her to give him the complete story and hers was telling him to forget about it.

So complete hearing loss and mute, huh? And the others don’t know do they? You kept them in your sights all day.

You don’t have to keep signing. I can read lips extremely well. As long as you’re facing me.

“And the others? Do they know?”

No. It happened after Vanya’s book. They weren’t very appreciative that I supported Vanya writing that thing and they almost completely shut me out afterward. I do believe today is the first day that they’ve seen me since.

“They’ve seen you? So you’ve seen them?”

Occasionally, yes. I try to go to Vanya’s concerts when I can. I've gotten called to help Klaus at rehab and the hospital a few times, sometimes I’ll post Diego’s bail, I've seen all of Allison’s movies. But no - I don’t think they realize that it's been me helping them.

“Idiots.”

What did you want Five? Not that I’m not happy to have you here - you’re always welcome here and to everything I have - but you seemed like you were in a hurry earlier.

Here he paused. Charlie could see the conflict in his eyes. She only raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t letting him leave without some kind of answer.

He sighed, sat down on her couch, and started his story about the results of his time travel and the end of the world he ended up in.

As she focused on his words, she really wished she had more to drink than her single glass of wine.

When it seemed like he was done, she asked him,

What can I do to help?

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t even know what I’m looking for really,” he heaved a giant sigh and pulled something from his pocket. “This was in Luther’s hand, in the end. It’s been my only clue all these years. My plan right now is to head to this company and find who owns it now.”

He opened his hand to show her a false eye.

An eye? Well, I don’t believe I’ll be much help getting your information but you know where to find me when you need some manpower. And you can sit right back down. I don’t care how old you actually are or how old you look. You’ve been on the move all day and probably even longer than that. I guarantee you that the company isn’t going to be open right now. It's midnight. So, I'm going to make you some dinner, you're going to take a shower, and then you’re going to get some sleep. When you inevitably wake up before me, you’re going to take some food for breakfast - not just coffee. Do you understand me you little shit?

He frowned at her but Charlie could see that she was making sense to him. He, reluctantly, nodded his head and stood up. She pointed to her bathroom and made her way back to her kitchen. He needed protein and energy, plus she was going to make him some easy breakfast or she knew that he would only make some coffee before he split.

She knew she had been correct by the look on his face when she showed him the breakfast sandwiches on the top shelf of her fridge. She just flicked his ear, trapped him in a quick hug, and planted the most obnoxious kiss she could on his temple. She laughed when he put up a minimal struggle but allowed him to push her away.

Those sandwiches better be gone when I get up tomorrow. And if you take my blue mug, you won’t have to worry about the apocalypse cause I’ll kill you myself. Let me know when I can be of any help. Goodnight Five… I’m really glad you’re back.

“Goodnight,” he told his dinner more than her but she’d take it.

She threw a couple of blankets and pillows on the couch, then she finally left for her bedroom.

As she completed her evening routine, she heaved a sigh and resigned herself to a busy week filled with her siblings. And she thought she could get away with just a day of them.

*

She was first to the dinner table, coming as she had from the kitchen. She had helped Mom with dinner tonight, growing the vegetables fresh for tonight’s roast. As she took her spot between Ben and Vanya, Charlie took a second to listen to what survival tape they would be listening to tonight. Climbing? Interesting and a step sideways from the underwater fighting from yesterday.

Her siblings finally finished their parade into the lower dining room and they all waited for Father to allow them to sit and start dinner. When he finally told them to sit, all that could be heard was the scrape of the silverware against the dishes and chewing.

But there was a tense feeling to the meal and it seemed to be coming from across the table from Five. She subtly watched her siblings. Luther and Allison seemed to be wrapped up with each other. Diego had a knife in his hand and was carving something into the arm of his chair. Klaus was focused on his joint, a recent addition that seemed to help him calm the ghosts that haunted him. Ben was reading the new book that she had got him. Vanya seemed to be going over her newest violin piece, something fast based on her faint humming. But Five was staring, intently, torn between his meal and Father.

And she saw the moment that it finally boiled over.

He stabbed his knife down into the table and glared at Father.

“Number Five?”

“I have a question.”

“Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during mealtimes. You are interrupting Herr Carlson.”

“I want to time travel.”

“No.”

“But I’m ready. I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps, just like you said. See?”

While his first outburst had garnered the attention of everyone at the table when Father told him no, most everyone went back to their previous activities. Most didn’t even look up when Five Jumped to Father’s side.

She kept her focus on him. He was extremely serious this time. She could see it in the lines of his body. He was going to Jump today - regardless of what Father told him. Vanya tensed up beside her and she knew Vanya sensed the seriousness of the moment as well.

“A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn.”

“Well, I don’t get it.”

“Hence the reason you’re not ready.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Fear isn’t the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even on your mind, are far too unpredictable. Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore. Number Five! You haven’t been excused!”

While he did glance at the rest of us, most of his attention was on Vanya but even she wasn’t enough to stop him. He had chosen his path.

Charlie heard the front door open and that was the last they saw of Five.

*

Diego dropped Klaus off at a 24-hour diner and made his way to Griddy’s. This was just what he needed - some normal crime to get his head away from his family. He’d rather have to deal with humanity’s messed up behavior than try to wrap his head around his family and their crap.

God. Diego just shook his head. He just wanted to get back into his normal routine where he could get scumbags off the street and not have to see or talk to any of his siblings. Including Klaus for right now - although he was his closest sibling, Diego could only take small doses of him at a time.

Unfortunately, he had the feeling that he wasn’t done with them yet.

However, for the time being, he was going to focus on this murder scene and the faint hope he’d seen Eudora again.

He slid his way around the cops already on the scene to get inside. He wanted to talk to the worker that was in the building during the attack and hear what she had to say.

“Ma’am? I have a couple of early questions for you about the attack. Do you think you could answer a few of them?”

She only gave a faint nod, but that was enough for him. He started off with his usual questions, trying to get the shape of what had happened.

It was after he got most of his questions answered that he saw Eudora arrive on the scene. He thanked Agnes for her help and slid out the back door. He didn’t want her to see him too soon. She might actually shoot him if he was the first thing in her sight. 

*

Ben was reading his book and sitting on a chair in the downstairs library, so he knew when Klaus was coming around. It was always hard to tell when Klaus was finally sober enough to believe that Ben was real. But when Klaus jerked up Ben figured he was good.

“You know you talk in your sleep?”

“Oh...Oh…”

“There’s no point, you’re out of drugs.”

He got more comfortable in his seat. He knew that Klaus couldn’t take no for an answer so he would be searching for something else to take. Either some kind of drug or something from the house he could pawn off.

“Shut your piehole, Ben. Said with love.”

Ben only rolled his eyes. As much as he wanted better for Klaus, Ben knew it wasn’t going to happen today. He could still try though.

“I’ve got a crazy idea. Why not try starting your day with...a glass or orange juice or some eggs?”

That had always been his favorite meal growing up, other than their Birthday Breakfast.

“Can’t smoke eggs. One of these has gotta be gold-plated right?”

As Klaus jumped from Pogo appearing in the doorway, Ben smiled to himself. It would serve him right. Then Pogo told Ben, inadvertently, that Klaus had already stolen from dad. Ben only heaved a sigh. Of course he had. Ben was only curious that Pogo was so worried about just a single box.

“Sorry.”

“Liar.”

“Drop Dead.”

“Low blow.”

“Would you shut up!”

“Excuse me?”

Ben laughed to himself. He loved getting Klaus in trouble like that. Obviously people couldn’t see him, and so when he could get Klaus to utter things like drop dead or shut up, the people surrounding Klaus believed that he was speaking to them.

When he heard Pogo tell Klaus that he wouldn’t worry about the actual box if he got the contents of said box, Ben could suddenly foresee his future. It involved following Klaus’ steps from yesterday and probably a lot of dumpster diving.

Fun.

Ben started to ignore whatever antics Klaus was getting up too and thought back to yesterday. He was extremely glad that Klaus had made the decision to attend the funeral. Ben knew that it was going to be hard and that there was a very high chance that Klaus would be hitting some of the extreme drugs again soon but Ben was still happy he got to see his siblings. It had been too long. He wasn’t very surprised by Luther or Diego - not much had changed with them aside from Luther’s inexplicable growth spurt but they were at their cores still Numbers One and Two. But it was his sisters he was excited to see. Ben was glad to see that motherhood had mellowed Allison out somewhat. He was really happy that she now had someone who she could give her unconditional love to. She was always better when she could love someone like that.

It had been over a decade since Ben had seen Vanya - he left with Klaus when they were 17 and the only other time that either of them had seen any of their siblings were at the Family Meeting about Vanya’s book or the one time Charlie had tracked them down with keys for Klaus. But despite the time separating their meeting, Vanya was just the same as she had ever been. Small, hunched into herself so the attention wouldn’t be on her, quiet so no one would hear her. Ben had hoped it would have gotten better through the years but as it was, Vanya looked the same. Charlie though - she had gone through quite a transformation. She had shot up from their teenage years - she could almost be mistaken for Klaus except for her hair, she was so much quieter than she had ever been, and was sporting quite a collage of colorful tattoos spanning across her arms and collarbone. He wished he could have talked to her about them - he knew she didn’t mind it so much when they got their umbrella tattoo when they were young but he never would have thought she’d go for the full sleeves let alone a throat tattoo. And Five! Ben was ecstatic to see that their missing brother was in fact just missing and not dead like they had feared for so many years. He was still the short sarcastic rude little shit that had ran out the door to time travel, now he just had apparently close to 50 years of trauma.

Ben wished for a lot of things following yesterday but most of all he wished that he could have held and helped his sibling through the years. Everyone in this entire family could use a goddamn hug and Ben wanted to be the one to give them one.

*

As Vanya woke up, she wondered about what Five talked about last night. She didn’t know whether or not she believed him. She didn’t think she did. If he was gone for so long, who knew what had happened to him in that time. She got up out of bed, composing questions for Five as she went, and left her bedroom for the living room. She wanted to believe Five but she had a lot of questions for him before she could.

“Hey, Five.”

She wished she could say she was shocked that Five didn’t stay but she wasn’t. Why would anyone stay for her?

He didn’t even sit on the couch.

*

Five finished the last of his breakfast and stood to take care of his dishes. He didn’t want to leave a pile of dishes that Charlie had to take care of when she finally woke. She had given him a bed for the night, food to eat, and allowed him to use her shower. Plus she was a good listener - not that she could hear anymore.

Five had to shallow down a rush of anger. He had only spent an hour with her yesterday and he knew almost right away that she was deaf. And according to Charlie she had been deaf for years and not one of their other siblings knew. If he had more time, he would knock some of their hard heads together and hope that it might knock of sense into them. He decided to add that to the list right after ending the apocalypse.

When all the dishes were put away, he grabbed the eye and the directions Charlie had written out for him, then left for MerriTech. As much as he wanted to stay here and continue their conversation from last night, he had a mission and he wasn’t going to pause it any longer.

The white walls and large glass windows were annoying. They allowed a lot of light in but they also posed a very big security risk. He could think of half a dozen different ways he could use the floor plan for his own advantage right off the top of his head and he wasn’t even putting much thought into it. He was only out here in the reception area because he was waiting for a doctor to approach him.

“Uh, can I help you?”

“I need to know who this belongs too.”

“Where did you get that?”

“Why do you care?”

Five was annoyed yet again that he got the calculations wrong. Almost everything that he’d done in the last 24 hours would be so much easier if was even just 5 years older. But he had to be stuck in his young teenage body.

Ugh.

But this time he decided to try to use it to his advantage. Most people would like to help some young man help return an eye that was lost. He could really play up that angle and try to get some sympathy help that way.

“I want to return it to its rightful owner.”

“Aww. What a thoughtful young man,” the sectary just proved his point.

Five should have known that it wouldn’t be that easy. Of course, the doctor would use patient confidentiality to try and take the eye away from him.

And then he might have let his building irritation out and he might have been a little rough with the moronic doctor who was standing in his way for the information that could help save the end of the world.

He needed a goddamn drink.

When they started calling for security, he just shoved the doctor away and left.

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy.

He needed a new plan.

*

When Charlie woke up that morning, she laid in bed for a while, thinking about everything that had happened just in the last 24 hours. Dad’s death, family reunions, the looming apocalypse. She didn’t know what she was going to do about any of it but she knew she was going to help Five in any way that she thought she could. He seemed to have an idea of what needed to actually happened. That was better than Charlie who had no clue what was happening.

She reached out for the Green when she was finally ready to get up for the day. There was nobody other than her in the apartment but she could sense that Zara was opening the shop downstairs. She had to remember to talk to him this morning. With everything that she could sense was about to happen she had to let Zara know so he could take on more responsibilities within the store.  She didn’t think she would have enough time to play a mediator between her siblings, help Five with whatever he had in mind, and manage her store at the same time.

Zara was a good friend, however, and he was used to her leaving most of the actual running of the store to him. She just had to let him know that he was dealing with everything for the next week or so.

Plans already running through her head, she got up out of her bed and made her way to her bathroom. Shower, food, and then she’d start adulting for the day.

She was happy to see that the breakfast she had made for Five was gone though. He might have been so much older then she was but she was glad that she could give him even a little bit of help.

After her conversation with Zara, she left for the Academy again. If she knew Five, he would be using it as a home base for his operation this week. And though she didn’t really want to spend more time in that cursed place, she did want to show Five that she meant it when she said she’d help him. Thus - her plan to camp out at the Academy for the next week.

When she finally saw the Academy doors, she slowed. Vanya was entering the main doors and after their last conversation - even if it was years ago - she didn’t want to crowd her. Vanya had made her opinion of Charlie very clear and even as much as she loved her siblings, she wasn’t going put herself through unnecessary pain.

Charlie knew if she gave Vanya a couple of minutes head-start, they wouldn’t run into each other. And she was right, having reached for the Green to track the people within the house. Vanya had made her way up through the hallways, brushing against the various vines lining the doorways, windows, and railings throughout the Academy. She could sense that Five was in his room, Allison was moving about near the kitchen with Mom, and Pogo was just leaving his room.

Father had made her Grow them for her training, having her use them to track her siblings - she first started with them all in one group but by the end Charlie could track all 5 (living) siblings, Mom, Father, and Pogo through the house without much thought or issue.

She still used that ability still - so she might be able to have a somewhat thankful thought to dear old Reggie. Maybe.

Charlie entered the house through the front doors and made her way to the bedrooms. She was ready to duck into any of the open rooms if any of her siblings but Five came along - she might have resigned herself to dealing with them for the week but she wasn’t going to hang around them longer than she had to.

*

Five had made his way back to his room at the Academy. After his failure at MerriTech, he needed to regroup and to come up with a new plan of attack. And then he had an idea.

It was a horrible one but it might just actually work.

He’d use Klaus.

…he was already regretting this decision.

He found Klaus wandering around the upper floors and dragged him back to the bedrooms. He wanted to remove all possible distractions from Klaus’ eyesight so they could get through the conversation in relatively short order.

“You’re going to help me with something this morning.”

“I am?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“I’ll pay you.”

“And what will I be helping you with?”

“Go put on something professional!”

Five left Klaus alone in his room so he could change into something more professional and less…Klaus.

He was pacing the hallway when he heard Vanya calling for him from the front room. He Moved back into his room and shoved Klaus into his closet when he heard Vanya come up the staircase closest to their bedrooms. He didn’t want to worry her. She was ordinary and he didn’t want to burden her more than he had already - he knew she didn’t believe him. Not like Charlie had.

He would have brought her with him but she both wasn’t here and he would need someone who could hear and speak.

“Oh thank god. I was worried sick about you.”

“Sorry about leaving without saying goodbye.”

He kept the conversation going as he worked on the plan for the next part of his day. He needed that information about the eye. He needed to know who was going to cause the apocalypse. He needed to stop them to save his family.

…she wanted him to see a therapist?

He went to close the door after Vanya left - he didn’t want her to be able to hear the end of the conversation with Klaus.

“That’s so…touching, all that stuff about family and Dad and time! Wow!”

He was regretting his choice of siblings again - even more than before.

“Would you shut up? She’ll hear you!”

“I’m moist.”

“I told you to put on something professional.”

“What? This is my nicest outfit.”

That was his nicest outfit? It looked like a clown puked onto a shirt and called it fashion. He only sighed and rolled his eyes.

“We’ll raid the old man’s closet.”

“As long as I get paid.”

“When the job is done.”

When Klaus continued to talk, his regret just grew and grew. He wished that he had a better choice - he was almost tempted to track down Charlie and make do with her.

Which of course meant she came from her bedroom right as he was leaving Klaus in the hallway.

*

Charlie was very tempted to laugh. The look on Five’s face when she popped out of her room…

She almost started signing at him when she spotted Klaus coming up from behind him. She knew that he was in the house and was even in Five’s room earlier but she hadn’t put it together - that they would be working together.

She dropped her hands and raised an eyebrow at Five. His response was only a sigh and a shrug.

“Schwester!”

She accepted Klaus’ hug but continued to watch Five over his shoulder. He had something planned.

“Klaus is helping me with something, Charlie. I’ll stop by your apartment later. A smaller group is going to be better for this.”

She released Klaus and nodded at Five. Running a hair through her hair, she placed a kiss on both her brothers’ cheeks and went to leave the Academy. She knew that Five had a better idea about what needed to be done at Merritech so if he thought that Klaus was going to be able to help him more than she could she’d believe him.

She’d grill him all about it later but she’d believe him for now.

As she turned to go down the staircase she came up - she paused. She felt Allison and Vanya were on the landing beneath her. That was where the phone was - she made a guess and thought Allison might be calling her family back in California. Charlie had seen her pregnant in some magazines a couple of years ago but really didn’t know much more than that.

Charlie was weighing her options - hide out in her room until Allison was away from the phone (Charlie didn’t think she’d like an audience for her phone call) or just power her way through it - when Allison came up the stairs in her direction, making her choice for her.

Charlie frowned - Allison looked upset. She chose to lean against the wall out of Allison’s way - that way she could stop and they could talk or Allison could ignore her and go on her way.

*

Allison made her way back to her bedroom to unpack. Patrick and the courts made it clear that she couldn’t see her daughter yet so what was the point of going home? And she needed something to do to calm herself down after her talk with Vanya. How could she say that Allison was better off here in New York away from her daughter? And to still be blaming everything on Dad? After all these years? She needed to grow up.

Allison was halfway down the hallway to her room when she noticed her other sister staring at her.

She flinched back, “How long have you been there?”

Charlie just pointed to Five and Klaus leaving in the opposite direction. Allison frowned at their backs - she wasn’t sure leaving those 2 to their own devices was the best plan but she supposed there wasn’t much she could do beyond Rumoring them. She turned back to Charlie and shook her head.

“Whatever they get up to isn’t my fault. And I’ll see you later - I decided to stay longer to help get things in order with Dad’s affairs.”

Allison turned away from Charlie before she could start her response. As much as she did want to see her family again - she wanted a cooler head (and probably a cigarette) before she attempted to talk to any of them again.

*

As the Taxi drove him away from Klaus, Five had to admit it wasn’t the worst decision he’d ever made inviting Klaus to MerriTech. He had an excellent poker face and was good at improv - if only it wasn’t just because he wanted drug money. But that was about the only good thing to happen today.

What was he going to do now? The only clue he had - the one thing that he kept on him to keep going through the years was completely useless still. A week until the apocalypse and he was no closer to stopping it then he was when he first Jumped.

He knew that he said he’d visit Charlie to explain to her his plans and what he did today but there was something else that he had to do - Charlie would understand.

But he needed to find Delores and he thought it would take a while to track down where she was living before the end. He knew vaguely where they found each other but with all the living people still walking about plus everything still in one piece…he thought that it might take all day to narrow his search.

He’d visit Charlie when he was done.

*

Allison took a deep breath as Pogo left the room. This was weird as hell - watching old security camera footage of her and her sibling growing up but it was exactly what she needed.

She watched a couple of different screens, trying to match the video with her memories - here she and Luther made lunch and ate it together after she spent the morning Rumoring him. Here Ben and Charlie were reading in the library. Here Diego was trying to hit moving targets. Here Klaus was painting her fingernails. There Vanya was playing her violin alone in the study.

They were all so young - and small! She couldn’t remember ever being that small.

She wished she had more than security videos to remind her of their childhood but she’d make due.

When she got up to find another video to insert, one on top of the TV bank caught her attention.

When she finally started it up, she had to gasp.

This changed everything.

*

Five just looked around. He could hear nobody around him. There was only death and destruction and falling ash as far as he could see. There was no more Academy. But maybe there was still a chance that his siblings were still alive…

As he looked around what was left of his home, he spotted a hand holding a false eye with the body buried under a pile of rubble. When he walked over to grab the eye, he leaned over to see if he could recognize the man holding it. It almost looked like…but it couldn’t be. He wouldn’t…

Five leaned back and stood up to continue to look around. He was determined to find other bodies or even some living people. When he spotted another body through some ruined rebar, Five blinked harshly - the ash was getting into his eyes pretty bad.

When he was close to his bro- to the body, he tried to shake him awake. That scar almost reminded him of- but then he spotted another body buried in the rubble. She looked like she was around the same age as the other two…she looked like Allison.

His sighed almost sounded like a sob. Because if this was Allison - it couldn’t be it wasn’t not his family not them not them not them - then Diego and Luther were also dead.

Five pulled himself together. He didn’t have to panic or worry because of course they weren’t his siblings. It couldn’t be.

He stood up and moved to try to find where his actual siblings were resting. Obviously, they had worn themselves out trying to stop whatever this was and now they were just resting and regrouping to figure out what to do after. Obviously these dead bodies weren’t his siblings.

He froze when he rounded a broken corner of the building. There was another body lying face down in the rubble but this one was the worst. He could no longer dismiss the resemblance he was spotting.

This body was sporting the distinct umbrella tattoo that only 7 people had. This was one of his brothers. This was Klaus. The other three were Allison, Luther, and Diego. He only turned his head a little but then he spotted the giant garden overtaken the back of the house. It was really the only spot of color that he could see. And right in the middle was a wave of vibrant red hair. Charlie…

He spent the next couple of hours trying to find his missing brother and sister to no luck. They weren’t anywhere he could see.

He continued to stifle his sobs as he buried his siblings. He couldn’t just leave them in the open like they were. He needed to care for them now.

One, Two, Three, Four, and Eight…when he was done with burying them he just sat down next to them.

He looked up at the sky. He didn’t think that it could rain like it was currently.

[snicketstrange]

The Beatrice Letters theory

This is part 10 of the Strange Interpretation of Jean Lúcio from Brazil

To understand this text, it is necessary to read some my previous texts.

Text Part 9

Part 8

Part 7 

Part 6

Part 5

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

I think it's time to start explaining my interpretation of The Beatrice Letters. I really love TBL. There is no official Portuguese translation of TBL, but there are translations made by volunteers. The first team to translate was called "Unfortunately Society" in 2009, whom I really thank. The other translation was made by volunteer Isadora in 2013. Volunteer Isadora Bortoluzzi Massa did an annotated translation of TBL in her Course Conclusion Work from the Faculty of Portuguese-English Literature, at the Federal University of Paraná, Brazil. I wanted to highlight these facts to show how much Brazilian fans take ASOUE seriously.

To understand TBL, I believe you should start by reading the last letter.

Please note carefully the following excerpts from Lemony's letter to the editor on TBL.

“{…} Once inside the warehouse, one can only hope that is has been organized sensibly -- otherwise it may take all night just find the room in which documents from long-ago library exhibitions are stored, and all morning to find the proper file…

Finally, it occurred to me to look under the name of the poet… Because I love her so much, for instance, it never occurred to me that there could be more than one Beatrice Baudelaire. IT WAS QUITE SOME TIME BEFORE I RECEIVED THE FIRST OF BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE’S LETTERS THAT I REALIZED THAT ALL OF BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE’S LETTERS COULD BE FOUND NOT JUST IN THE FIRST BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE BUT IN THE SECOND BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE AND THAT PERHAPS IF I GATHERED THE REMAINING LETTERS OF FIRST BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE WITH THE FIRST LETTERS OF THE REMAINING BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE, THEN THE BEATRICE LETTERS COULD EXPLAIN THE BEATRICE LETTERS AND EVEN THE LETTERS OF BEATRICE, NO MATTER WHICH LETTERS THEY ARE, AND NO MATTER WHAT ORDER THE LETTERS ARE IN. I IMMEDIATELY BEGAN WORK ON THE FILE.

And now, after all this time,  have found the same scrap of paper  had once examined in a glass case – and, years before that, examined in a hallway of the library, with the scrap of paper in the glass case. Sadly, this missing sonnet is like a missing sock – it had been lost for so long that everything else has completely unraveled in its absence. For many years I thought if I collected all these letters and their accompanying ephemera – a phrase witch here means “documents and items which I feared had vanished, and may soon vanish again” – I could put all of them in the proper order, as if solving an anagram by putting all of letters in the right order… The arrangement of letters could spell more than one thing…

This file is finished – just when I thought it might finish me… THE SECRETS CONTAINED HERE ARE LIKE ALL SECRETS – DANGEROUS TO THOSE WHO DISCOVER THEM AND HARMLESS TO THOSE WHO FAIL TO NOTICE THEM. For this reason, I recommend that you either destroy this file or make as many copies as possible… I DO NOT KNOW WHEN I WILL WRITE YOU AGAIN.”

Please, remember one of the premises of the Strange Interpretation of Jean Lúcio From Brazil. While the 13 books of ASOUE are directed by the Great Public of the universe of Lemony, the TBL is a file that contains personal letters. While there may be deliberate lies in the 13 books of ASOUE, there are no deliberate lies in TBL. However, there are indications of caution on the part of the authors of the letters in TBL. The letter senders are aware that the letter could be read by others than the recipient of the letter. So one of the letters contains a Sebald code. Thus, in a few letters, the sender does not want to deceive the recipient, but wants to deceive or confuse any other person who happens to have access to the letter. For example, in one of the letters the sender starts each paragraph as if writing a business letter. In addition, recipients of the letters know that it is possible for someone to try to cheat by letters. The recipients of the letters know that a person can send a letter pretending to be someone else. See this excerpt from BB to LS # 1,

“Perhaps you will also think I am someone else, and will make a suspicious note in the margin, accusing me of being some villainess or other.”

In this letter, the recipient (Lemony) made a note, indicating that at the time he read the letter for the first time, he believed that the true sender could be "E" (probably Esmé).

Now that you know all this, turn your attention back to the letter to the editor. From my point of view, in this letter Lemony states clearly that in the file that we call TBL, there are letters coming from both Beatrices. At the same time, Lemony makes it clear that by the time he was writing this letter to the editor, only one of the Beatrices was alive. He referred to Kit's daughter as "THE REMAINING BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE". This indicates that the "FIRST BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE" was dead when this letter was written. I need to believe that. My whole theory is based on the premise that Lemony would not lie in a personal letter. However, that does not mean that "FIRST BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE" had been died since fire of her house. Quite the opposite. Accepting as a fact that there are letters coming from the two Beatrices in the archive, and accepting the fact that Beatrice survived the fire at her house based on the evidence I've already presented, TBL makes a lot of sense.

(Obs,:  Lemony wrote to his editor:

"IF I GATHERED THE REMAINING LETTERS OF FIRST BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE WITH THE FIRST LETTERS OF THE REMAINING BEATRICE BAUDELAIRE ... I IMMEDIATELY BEGAN WORK ON THE FILE"

"gather" means: to bring together; collect

"LETTERS OF SOME PERSON" means letters FROM someone, right?

look "of" definition: www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/of

"used as a function word to indicate origin or derivation" )

What would be the method of distinguishing whether the letter comes from the mother of the Baudelaire siblings or Kit's daughter? Would comparing signatures be an appropriate method? No. As I explained on the Thread about the R letter, in Lemony's universe, signatures can be faked. Lemony did not believe that R's letter was even R's because there was her letter at the end of the letter. In addition, Lemony suspected that the letter From BB to LS # 1 could be from someone else, even seeing the signature of the letter. What could help distinguish from which Beatrice comes from each of the letters is just the content of the letters.

Now turn your attention to the letter BB to LS # 2. Here are some things that this letter has, and some things that this letter does not have.

The letter's sender wrote:

"I am leaving this city, only hours after finally seeing it for the first time, to follow your path of yarn and pins ... Without Violet, Klaus and Sunny, I am an orphan - an orphan who is leaving this letter here. .. PS This is a very handsome paperweight, by the way, although I can not tell if it is a snake, a worm, or an electric eel. "

This person is evidently Kit's daughter. She says she's never been on the City. She states that Baudelaire siblings are her parents. She states that she does not know what paperweight is, and anyone who has known Ike knows that paperweight is a leech. Now, what does this letter not have that is very common in several other letters from Beatrice to Lemony? This letter does not contain the anagrams "Baticeer" or "My Silence Knot".

Now let's look at the letter From BB to LS # 3.

See what this letter has and what this letter does not have. Note the sections below:

[...] the eldest shepherd said, ringing his cowbell to call to his flock, and looking me very carefully in the eye. I traded them a ring on my finger, emblazoned with the initial of someone I believe you once knew, for a yak ride to see the cave for myself. I don't know what i will have to trade in order to have this letter sent.  Your cave is a miserable place - drafty, bat infested, and decorated with hideous wallpaper… This has been a hard years journey. And now... all  have learned is what you said when you left this cave... "I'm in the mood for a root beer float", you said, and so am I. I will return to the city, where I've been told the best root beer floats can be found at certain shop, although I've forgotten the shop's name, location, and price list.”

The sender of this letter apparently does not know the Sebald code. The older pastor apparently tried to send him a message in Sebald's code, but she did not notice. Also, the sender of this letter does not know how to control bats. She saw several bats in the cave, and yet she had no idea of using one of them to send the letter to Lemony's office. In addition, Lemony evidently left a message that would be easily understood by the mother of the Baudelaire siblings. He said, "I'm in the mood for a root beer float." The first place the mother of the Baudelaire siblings would think about going would be at a specific cafe, where Lemony and Beatrice had their first meeting, the same place where they kept meeting for many years. In the letter From LS to BB # 3, Lemony makes a date with Beatrice in this cafe. He wrote:

"As you take your bow, drop one of your hatpins off the stage. That's your signal to me that it is safe to meet at the usual place for our midnight root beer floats."

So I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that this letter comes from Kit's daughter.

Now think: What does the letter From BB to LS # 3 not have that most of Beatrice's letters to Lemony have? Again, this letter does not contain the anagrams "Baticeer" or "My Silence Knot".

What is the origin of these anagrams? Who invented them, and what use did this person give to these anagrams? The answer to these questions is in the letter From LS to BB # 2

Lemony wrote:

"It's easy to write letters during Code Class ... The only other student I know in this class is O. who is nothing but annoyance. As I write this he is filling his notebook with anagrams of obscene words ... After the incident with the bottle of ink and the root beer float, I think it's better to spend my time inside "My Silence Knot" ... My sister has told me that there are bats to be found there, and I would love to spend some time with a certain "baticeer".

These anagrams were created by Lemony in a class that explained codes. Apparently it was a class that explained about the use of anagrams, because Olaf was writing anagrams in his notebook. Lemony went on to use anagrams in his letter to Beatrice. He used anagrams of his own name and the name of Beatrice. Beatrice understood that this was an excellent method for identifying herself in a letter. Whenever Beatrice sends a letter to the person she loves, Lemony, she writes the anagram of his name or her name or both. For this it is necessary to create an opportunity within the text of the letter to use the anagrams, even if this leaves the text with low naturalness. People who did not know the use of anagrams would never realize this method of identification. In addition, if Lemony found a letter without the anagrams My Silence Knot or Baticeer, Lemony would be certain that this letter would not come from the mother of the Baudelaire siblings. After all, why would someone use "My Silence Knot" in a letter? It is not a very common expression in English. What about the word "Baticeer"? This word does not even exist in English dictionaries.

Based on this, I can say that the letters From BB to LS # 1, # 4, # 5 and even # 6, come from the mother of the Baudelaire siblings.

Some of these passages make more sense when you come to that conclusion.

For example in BB to LS # 1:

"All I hope is the best, but hoping for the best, like hoping to obey your orders, almost always leads to disappointement ... There are many people, to affect all, with the same initials as you, just as THERE IS AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON WITH THE SAME INITIALS AS ME ... For years I kept quiet, feeling all my words twisting and tangling inside me like skeins of yarn, as I searched desperately for someone who could be of assistance. Now I must untie "My Silence Knot" and to a man I have ever seen ... I am hoping you wil tell me a story that began many years ago, in what I WAS TOLD IS A SORT OF CLASSROOM ... My name is Beatrice Baudelaire. I am searching for my family - Violet Baudelaire, Klaus Baudelaire, and Sunny Baudelaire ...”

From this letter I can say that the letter comes from the mother of the Baudelaire siblings. However, Beatrice chooses her words so that any reader other than Lemony and I, believe the letter comes from Kit's daughter. Beatrice is master in disguises. She is on a much higher level than Count Olaf. Beatrice's true interest is linked to Lemony's past. Her interest is in the passion they had together, and they could never live fully. Even the letter From BB to LS # 6, is from the mother of the Baudelaire siblings. She chose to use a phraseology very similar to that of Lemony's first letter. She apologized for embarrassing Lemony in front of his friends. When did this happen? She had ever embarrassed Lemony when she canceled the marriage. Read the letter below:

"Beatrice Baudelaire, Baticeer extraordinaire (The Rhetorical Building 14th Floor): I am sorry you embarrassed me in front of your friends. I just wanted to talk to you. The waiter agreed to bring this card with your drink. If you do not want to meet me, rip it in hald when you are done with your root beer float, and I will leave and snow try to contact you again. But if you want to meet me, I'm the ten-year-old girl at the cornner table. B."

Of course Beatrice was not 10 years old when she wrote this letter ... I believe the following two options: 1) Beatrice was disguised as a 10-year-old girl, and 2) Beatrice wanted to make Lemony remember the old days, when they were children and Lemony wrote her the first letter.

Now see the excerpts from the BB to LS # 5 letter:

"If you are in your office - and I hope you are, I can hear you below me pacing across your creaky wooden floor - you cold simply walk out the door, head down the corridor toward the east staircase, walk up one flight of stairs, head down to corridor, and knock on the door of the office directly above yours, you would find me here, sitting at my typewriter. But you will not. For one thing, you have a lousy sense of direction, and you might not know witch way is east. For another, you clearly do not talk to me. "

(Note: How would Kit's daughter know that Lemony has a bad sense of direction? She had never met her uncle before ... On the other hand, the mother of the Baudelaire siblings knew Lemony well. Lemony tried to draw a map for the cafe where they were supposed to meet, and he wrote that the West Gate was the East Gate.  The dashed lines on Lemony's map indicate the path he would take with Beatrice to the cafe. In Lemony's mind he would meet Beatrice outside the east gate. So Lemony drew the dashed line on the left side of the solid line. He thought the outside of the east gate would be even farther east. But he confused east with west. Lemony has a bad sense of direction, and Beatrice knew it from childhood.)

"Violet told me once that I saved her life, and Klaus claimed that I had not died in despair not long ago the destruction of the Denoument Hotel. Even Sunny said she could not have survived without me. "

I know most fans interpret that young Beatrice would be here talking about the fact that she was born at an appropriate time, and so she saved the Baudelaire siblings.

But for me, due to the facts cited, I think this passage is referring to the fact that Beatrice and Bertrand created the hybrid apple that literally saved the life of the Baudelaire siblings after the destruction of the Hotel Denoument. This happen on the Island. Even if Kit's daughter had not been born, I'm sure the Baudelaire siblings would have survived on the island.

In addition, BB to LS # 4 may be better understood:

" I am writing to inquire further on the matter we discussed earlier this year. I'm Business Letter Writing Class, which is taught by a flat-footed man so sad an aunaware that I am certain he will give me an A on this assignement without reading anithing but the first setence of each paragrafph. I could say anithing here at all. For instance: A "baticeer" is a person who trains bats. I learned that in a poem I watched you read. ... The theree Baudelaires may be long gone, but there is a fourth Baudelaire here, waiting for tou to untie "My silence not" and help me find the end of a story that began with you -- in the very room where I sit now, about to hand this letter to my business letter writing instructor so he will grade it and mail it."

I know most fans believe that the young Beatrice watched Lemony, saw him reading a poem and then learned the name "Baticeer". But because of the evidence I have already presented, I believe that is not the case. I believe that the name Baticeer and the expression "My Silence Knot" was written here only as a code of recognition. It is interesting that "My Silence Knot" was written so the first letters of each word capitalized and between quotation marks. This gives a special emphasis to this expression.

There is another important detail. In the TBL file, there are letters from Lemony to Beatrice. How did Lemony get those letters back? I know there are theories that claim that Lemony made copies of the letters. However, it was apparently the letters themselves, in the original paper that was sent to the publisher. For example, in one of the letters, a note written by R. is written. This infers that the letter that was sent to the editor was the letter that was sent to Beatrice, not a copy. Another theory indicates that Lemony recovered the cards in the destroyed house of Beatrice. That is possible, but I think it is unlikely, because fires in general burn paper.

So my theory is that Violet's mother, Klaus and Sunny gave Lemony the letters she had kept with great affection. After meeting in the cafe, she handed him the letters to show Lemony that he was always thinking of him.

What do you think of this theory? When I reread The Beatrice Letters under this new look I got some interesting things.

[dmischief-blog]

Bashfulness

word count: 2.9k

pair: george weasley x reader

warning(s): none

a/n: This has been in my drafts for quite a while and I am very pleased with how it turned out. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

-

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here? And why are you up so early? I clearly remember you saying that you weren’t exactly a morning person.” said Hermione after offering you a polite smile. You sighed softly in response, causing the brunette girl to furrow her eyebrows in question. You smiled, though you were certain she could surely detect the tiredness hidden behind it.

“Good morning to you too.” You muttered. Her smile soon faded and before she was able to question you, you flinched at the weight of a hand being so unexpectedly placed onto your shoulder. You turned around abruptly, only to be met with the sight of a grinning Ron who so desperately tried to conceal the amused chuckle that was threatening to spill out. Harry gave you a sheepish smile before taking a seat next to Hermione.

“What is it (Y/N)? Did I give you a bit of a scare?” You rolled your eyes at Ron, making him put his hands up in defense before sitting next to you. Hermione shook her head in disapproval, though her lips were on the verge of forming an amused grin.

One by one, the students started gathering around the dining hall and before you knew it, the place was absolutely filled with loud chattering. Christmas holidays were just around the corner and everyone seemed eager to finally return back home and spend time with their families. Everyone except you. It was only yesterday when you had received a letter from your parents informing you that, due to their jobs, you wouldn’t be able to celebrate Christmas together this year. Not that you were necessarily shocked, in fact, you were aware that it was bound to happen at some point. Frowning at the thought of having to spend Christmas alone without any of your friends’ company, you gave the trio one last smile before standing up and heading over to sit on your usual spot at (Y/H)’s table.

-

“Oh come on (Y/N), don’t you at least want to give it a try?” said Fred. Eyes looking down at you full of hope as a sly smile made its way onto his face. Your fingers gently grazed over the edge of the page you had just finished reading, only to then continue onto the next chapter.

You had no intention of breaking your focus. Afterall you already knew very well that Fred would not stop bothering you even if you gave him a ‘no’ for an answer. Something you had already done the very first time he had brought up this suggestion. A quiet protest left your lips as the book you had been reading was suddenly out of your reach and onto Fred’s steady grip.

He placed the book onto the table with a sigh of defeat, a tint of fake irritation apparent on his features. “Seriously (Y/N), I mean- half the school already knows about your crush on my brother. Everyone but him of course.” he muttered lowly, a smirk reappearing on his face.

You simply gave a huff of annoyance, “I believe you are being just a tiny bit dramatic Fred. As per usual.” you smiled and he returned it, flashing you his playful grin.

“Okay I’ll admit it. That might’ve been kind of a stretch but you know what I mean!” he argued before falling silent. His sudden pause caused you to slowly look up, he mumbled something under his breath, making you raise your eyebrow in question. Feeling your stomach twist and turn at his silence, you spoke up. “What is it?”

Remaining silent for a couple of seconds, he took a step back and smirked. Your entire body tensed up as you were well aware that something was definitely up and it wasn’t good by any means. He simply muttered a quick "Nothing.” before making his way out the library, leaving you absolutely terrified.

-

The next few days passed by way quicker than you anticipated. Christmas was a couple of days away and the majority of students from (Y/H) were getting their bags ready.

Being good friends with Harry,Ron and Hermione meant spending a lot of time in Gryffindor’s common room. Especially now since you were going to be spending Christmas at Hogwarts with very little to no company. According to the trio, you seemed much more tense than usual. A statement that you knew wasn’t completely wrong, after Fred’s little stunt in the library you just could not bring yourself to fully let loose. He was surely planning something and you highly doubted that ‘something’ would be beneficial for you in any way.

The twins always had a small tendency to tease you as they had, many times, claimed that seeing you ‘get your knickers in a twist’ caused them great amusement. However you had to admit, they weren’t the only ones who enjoyed poking a little harmless fun at you. Ginny and Ron also had their fair share of teasing you but you couldn’t say you necessarily minded it. Your family had always been in really good terms with the Weasleys and ever since you were young you had grown quite accustomed to it.

Though, what you had very recently come to realise was that George was suddenly not so fond of his siblings’ behaviour towards you. The red headed twins were practically known for their never ending mischief so you were quite shocked whenever he’d step in and end your playful banter.

It was only recently where he had started acting this way and you couldn’t help but be suspicious. Wondering whether the twins were teaming up against you.

“Hermione, would you please let me-”

“No Ron.” Hermione cut in, “I am not letting you copy anything, instead, you could just go ahead and do it yourself.”

Ron gave a sigh, letting his head fall back as he quietly muttered. "Bloody hell…”

Harry chuckled at the scene in front of him before giving Ron a pat on the shoulder, which granted him a small frown from the red headed male.

Giving you a hopeful smile, Ron leaned towards you slightly. “(Y/N), would you mind helping me with Potions? I am completely lost-”

“(Y/N)!” “There you are!” “We’ve been looking for you young lady.”

This time being interrupted by his older brothers, Ron exhaled a frustrated sigh before cursing lightly under his breath.

The twins smiled cheekily at his little tantrum before their attention drifted towards you.

Fred stepped forward, throwing a smirk your way and that’s when you noticed. George had both of his hands hidden behind his back, signifying that he was most definitely holding something.

“What are you two up to?” you curiously asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

The twins looked at each other for a short moment and after that, Fred gave the youngest a small nod. George turned towards you and smiled, making you frown in question. He then handed you what seemed to be a letter. You reached out to take it from his grasp though you were a bit hesitant at first. Looking at them both in the eyes, their intentions truly appeared to be innocent as they looked back at you without any mischief glinting in their eyes.

You began reading out loud and as soon as you were done, the trio grinned happily while the twins remained smirking cunningly at your shocked expression. You chuckled lightly before pulling both of them in a tight hug, making them laugh at your excitement.

“We know we’re great, you can thank us later.” Fred said, earning him a punch on the shoulder to which he responded with a yelp of pain.

George stayed silent instead. A smirk still plastered onto his face as he ruffled your hair gently.

“How did you know?” you asked.

They both shrugged in unision.

“We have our ways.” George added.

-

“(Y/N) dear! Oh it’s so lovely to see you. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” said Molly, offering you the sweetest smile to which you returned with one of your own.

“It really has. Thank you so much for inviting me to spend Christmas with you, I really hope I am not a burden.” you spoke and your voice faded slightly at the end of your sentence. George gave you a playful nudge on the arm before walking past you with a welcoming smile on his face.

“Don’t be stupid (Y/N), of course you’re not a burden.”

Molly eyed him warily before enveloping you in a tight embrace and pulling you inside. Each time you stepped inside the Weasleys’ house you felt an instant wave of warmth and safety wash through you and this time it was no different. The family reassured you multiple times that your presence was more than welcomed in their household and since you went along with pretty much everyone, you were used to spending the night and sharing Ginny’s room. This time, however, you volunteered to sleep on the couch, much to Hermione’s hesitance. Convincing her of the fact that you did not mind in the slightest was tougher than you expected but you still managed to ease her worries.

Soon it was dinner time and Arthur went on rambling about how things were going at the Ministry, to which whilst Molly nodded along. Chatter quickly filled the room as well as the playful banter shared between Fred and Percy, earning both males a light scolding from their mother. Ginny breathed out a small laugh after catching Fred’s seemingly irritated expression and it wasn’t long before Hermione joined in. George simply gave a small smile at his brother’s antics before looking up at you with his gaze lingering a bit longer than usual. Admittedly, that irked your curiosity a tiny bit and needless to say it took a whole lot of self-restraining not to comment on it.

-

“(Y/N) are you sure you don’t mind?” asked Hermione, her unruly curls tied back in a loose ponytail as she silently scanned your face for any sign of discomfort.

You gave her a faint smile before nodding in reassurement. The girl nodded in return after mumbling a quick ‘good night’ and heading upstairs.

Nothing but the sound of the crackling fire filled the room and you gave a sigh of pure bliss at the warmth radiating from the fireplace before gently laying back. Hours passed by much slower than what you had anticipated and during those hours all you did was tosh and turn in a failed attempt to fall asleep. Actually, you’d be lying if you denied how completely drained you felt; though it wouldn’t be hard to believe judging by how you could barely keep your eyelids open. Even so you still couldn’t exactly pinpoint why that was the case; after all you were no stranger to spending the night in the Weasley household. You assumed the main cause of it was just feeling homesick unconsciously.

All of a sudden, you heard shuffling coming from upstairs and your muscles tensed up instantly; after having placed your weight onto your elbows you pushed yourself up and tried to look around whilst your eyes took some time to adjust to the darkness. In a matter of seconds the shuffling stopped and though you still felt a bit shaken up, you quickly realised that someone had probably just woke up.

You gave a tired sigh and tugged the blanket closer to body before closing your eyes once again. For a split moment you felt as though you were about to drift off into dreamland until a pair of hands gripped your upper arm and shook you awake. You yelped in panic and, out of instinct, your hands reached up and placed themselves over your heart; panting slightly your eyes met with a pair of seemingly ‘seeking of forgiveness’ brown eyes.

You clenched your jaw in furry and before you could question the guilty, George put his hands up in defense and slowly sat down next to you.

“I know you’re mad at me but I swear I didn’t mean to scare you. Really.”

You glared at him intensely for a few seconds before relaxing your muscles and letting your shoulders fall loose. You looked up at him and George frowned deeply before averting his gaze elsewhere. That did not last long though as he quickly found your eyes again, only this time he offered you a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry.”

You breathed out a chuckle in disbelief and George joined in with that same smile still covering his face. You could easily detect a hint of hope radiating from his expression and as much as you attempted to conceal it, a shy smile still appeared on your face.

“Can’t sleep?” Asked George.

You huffed, “What makes you say that?” you questioned with a tone full of sarcasm. The red headed male rolled his eyes playfully at your words.

“Guess that makes two of us.”

Now that raised your curiosity alright. You furrowed your eyebrows in question and George simply gave a shrug. “Kinda hard to sleep with Fred’s obnoxious snoring.”

The attempt to stop your laughter from slipping past your lips was far too difficult and it quickly turned you into a giggling mess. George grinned at your amused state which caused your cheeks to flush a bright red color which then lead to you internally wishing that he wouldn’t take notice of it.

“I am not quite sure I believe your excuse Georgie. Are you sure that’s why you decided to pay me a visit?” you asked, hoping to get something more out of him.

Unexpectedly, George just smiled and shook his head in denial before muttering, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Throwing him a look of disbelief, a playful smirk settled upon your face and soon enough you scooted closer with your shoulders now touching. Silence quickly took over and the atmosphere was far from awkward. After spending so much time with the Weasleys you grew incredibly comfortable in their presence, especially with the twins or even more specifically with George.

The exhaustion of the day soon started kicking in and no matter how much you tried to keep your eyes open, they still fluttered closed. George noticed fairly quickly and urged you to lean your head against his shoulder after having shuffled even closer. A small smile formed on your lips at the feeling of his fingers shyly brushing against yours, silently asking permission to hold your hand and without hesitation you intertwined your fingers in a gentle grip.

“Comfy?”

His voice was no louder than a whisper, you hummed in response before looking up at him “You are forgiven.” you said. George’s eyes lit up at your words and he then gave a small nod. After observing your expression he realised that your eyes were focused elsewhere, his eyes followed your gaze and spotted the mistletoe hanging above the two of you.

You broke the silence with a huff, “I don’t remember that being here.” masking your embarrassment with confusion you looked at George with a small frown.

George kept his gaze focused on the small mistletoe and by the looks of it you were almost certain he was thinking of something. After no more than a second he mumbled, “Neither do I…” under his breath. His eyes made contact with yours once more and before you had the chance to break it he spoke up.

“May I?” The boyish, almost shy smile he had on his face paired with his unruly bed hair made your heart rate pick up rapidly and the lump in your throat only worsened. Knowing that words would one hundred percent fail you you smiled reassuringly and nodded.

George leaned in eagerly yet slowly, your noses brushed lightly and before you knew it your lips collided in a sweet kiss. His grip on your hand loosened before moving upwards to brush the hair out of your face and when you both pulled away he quickly placed a kiss on your cheek.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

His words made a smile reappear on your face but not too long after that, your smile faded away abruptly at his next words.

“Though you do look ridiculous with your hair all messed up.”

You gaped before giving him a harsh shove against his shoulder and pushing him lightly. On the other hand, he was quick to mask his amused laugh with a pout but that didn’t make you any less harsh.

“Look who’s talking!” You said, an amused smile present on your face as well. Meanwhile George leaned closer and whispered quietly.

“We’re not alone you know.”

Immediately realising who he was referring to, you smirked to yourself and with the most sarcastic tone you could master you spoke up, “Stop spying on us you creep!”

George chuckled at that before whipping his head around to find a very satisfied looking Fred with his hands crossed over his chest. The older twin gave you an offended look before muttering something along the lines of ‘This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me so you should be grateful’ or something like that but instead of responding you just pulled George in for another kiss. Fred made a noise of both disgust and disappointment before making his way upstairs only after having informed George of the fact that he had no excuse to spend the night here.

Needless to say the next morning Fred had, of course, spread the news which automatically lead to you getting teased by both Ron and Ginny while George earned a light scolding by his mother.

[upperstories]

Stargazing

Frankly, Bendy is sick and tired of nightmares. Sure, they’re still terrifying, but they’re also so common that he’s annoyed at the part of his subconscious that insists on recutting thirty years worth of rotten memories into stupid phantasms.

Tonight’s installment of Horrible Dream Theater was mostly notable in its persistence: he’s been up and about for a good 15 minutes, but he still can’t close his eyes for more than a blink without the thing digging its claws into him again.

Focusing on what’s real and actually good helps. For once in his life, Bendy is safe. Sure, hiding from almost everyone is still necessary, but politely indifferent neighbors are much easier to deal with than suspicious cops or nosy samaritans. Most importantly, he isn’t alone, either in general or in the moment. For both him and Henry, sitting in the kitchen talking beats staring at the ceiling or leafing listlessly through a book.

“Ya think talking about it would help?” Sometimes, if they’re lucky, nightmares sound ridiculous when described out loud, and both of them (all three of them?) can have a good laugh at having ever been scared of searcher-policemen or whatnot.

Henry hesitates before responding. “Probably not”. Another pause, a shrug, and then he continues anyways. “Drowning. We were trapped in a collapsed air duct back in the studio as it flooded with ink. I can’t remember much more of it.”

He’s implying that Buddy does, though. Which makes it hard for Bendy to help at all. Pulling them in front of a mirror would be overkill, and anyways, it’d probably be best to let Buddy hide behind Henry for now. The only remotely productive thing Bendy can do is find some sort of big sparkly distraction.

Skhrrch. Skhrrch.

“Wha’?!” Bendy jumps and nearly falls out of his chair. He glances around, looking for the cause of the sound that snapped him out of his thoughts. It’s too much like the raspy breathing of the demon from the studio for comfort, but the shadows in the room are normal, so that can’t be it. It isn’t it. It’s … it’s just Henry, shoving a stepstool to the window so he can look outside for something. “All right, what’re ya up to?” Bendy asks, doing a reasonably good job of sounding calm.

“Hmm, I think it’ll be better if I show you. Just wait here a second, alright?” He’s definitely up to something, and deliberately being vague about it. Bendy really doesn’t have all too much time to try and figure out what the plan is, because Henry returns pretty quickly, wearing a sweater and tossing one of Bendy’s ones to him.

“So, we’re goin’ somewhere? Where?”

“Just the backyard.”

“Why?” He follows Henry through the living room.

Henry grabs a blanket from the couch on the way to the door. “You’ll see.” He smiles, but loses a bit of his apparent okay mood when he looks up at the doorknob. It’s a good foot above his head. “Um. Could you get the door?”

Bendy nods and leads the way outside. After a few steps, he stops. It’s a nice night: cool and calm, with barely enough of a breeze to rustle leaves. The only other creature outside is the neighbor’s oversized puffball of a tabby cat, but she’s content to stay put, lording over her territory. There’s nothing to fear out here, and, anyways, if worst comes to worst, they could always hightail it up the big pine tree in the yard. “So, why’re we out here, anyways?” he asks as he sits next to Henry on the blanket.

“Look up.”

Stars. Dozens or hundreds of them, shining against the darkest night sky Bendy has ever seen. It’s nothing like it was back in the city, with four or five pale pinpricks in the perpetual pinkish glow. It’s competely new, but sort of nostalgic: he’d been fascinated with looking up at clouds and sunsets and how big the world was when he’d first escaped, but over time, skywatching had become a purely practical concern.

The longer he looks, the more nuances he sees. Some of the stars have color to them, yellowish or orange or blue, and there’s a faint hazy band across the sky. Once, a faintish star just wanders overhead in a straight line, which seems odd. The rest of them don’t do that. Actually, now that he thinks about it— “What are stars, anyways?”

“I don’t know. I think they’re the same sort of thing as the Sun, but, well, that dosen’t help much.” Henry shrugs, then goes back to staring at the sky. “Could find a book on it, though.”

“So, somethin’ ta look into tomorrow, then. Er, it’s past midnight, ain’t it. Later today, I guess.” If they aren’t too exhausted once it’s actually morning, visiting the library might be a good idea. Sure, there are people there, but not a lot, it’s easy to hide in the stacks, and Mrs. Finch is a reliable sort of human. The librarian had completely bought Bendy’s sob story about dead parents and being smothered by relatives at the funeral, and would often get the nosier patrons to leave him and Buddy alone.

Bendy shakes his head. He can put off planning until later, and really should. He pulls himself back to looking up, tracing patterns, and avoiding worrying about every little tiny thing that could possibly go badly. There’s as many of those as there are stars.

“Yeah, they do.”

“Huh?”

Henry blinks. Apparently, he didn’t notice he was talking out loud. “Stars have names. I can’t remember many of them or which name goes to which star, but they exist.”

Of course Buddy would ask that sort of question. And Bendy’s curious about it too. “Really?”

Henry nods. “For some reason, lots of them start with ‘A’. Alcor, Albiero, Algol—”

“Alice?”

“Maybe. There are a lot of them.” He pauses for a bit. “Do you think we should wake them up?”

“Nah. We should let her and Bo sleep. Besides, Al’d probably bug us about not wearin’ galoshes or somethin’.” He licks his finger and holds it in the air. “Should be clear for the rest of the week though. Hey, where’d you get the idea of doing this, anyways?”

Henry picks at the cuff of his mitten as he answers. “Remembered something. Visiting my grandparents when I was a kid. They lived out in the countryside, so me and my sister —cousin?— went out to catch fireflies. And when we looked up, there were too many stars to even see the constellations, and I sort of forgot about the lightning bugs.”

“So, what you’re sayin’ is that this—” he gestures up at the glittering darkness, “—is a decidedly second-rate night sky? If we ever haf'ta move, my vote’s on the middle of nowhere. Are you two with me?”

Henry snickers a bit. “Sure.”

Before he can think of aother bit of overdramatic clowning around, something bright yanks his attention skyward. It’s a shooting star, a big one, that arcs across a third of the sky before winking out.

“Wow.” Even after it faded, the faint greenish trail the meteor left hangs in the air for almost a minute. “Ain’t ya supposed to make a wish when you see a shooting star? Hmm—” He trails off, trying to think of a good one. Over most of the past thirty years, where he is now would be too much to hope for. Nothing big comes to mind that he wants. But— something vindictive might do. “I wish I’d’ve gotten a chance to sock ol’ Joey right in the nose.” He nudges Henry. “I know you got to do that already, but he— er, what’s left of him— still deserves a good wallop, ya know?”

Henry nods, just slightly.

“So, anythin’ you wish for?”

As soon as he says it, Bendy knows that’s probably the wrong question to ask. “I don’t know. It's— there are things I feel I want, but know I don’t want.” Henry slumps and curls up. “Like finding my family.”

Bendy dosen’t see much of a problem in that. It might be difficult to find any information, but whichever relative actually owns the house will probably find them eventually. And, even if he’s wary of humans, being related is reciprocal. Henry’s family is their family too. “It can’t be that much of a pain in the neck ta track them down.”

“It isn’t that. I don’t remember their faces. I don’t even know if I have siblings. My parents’d be 80, 90 by now, might not be alive still. And Linda— it’d be better for her if she thinks I’m dead and moved on with her life years ago. None of them’d recgnize me. And—” Henry tries to rub his neck, flinching when he touches nothing. “And even if we find them, I don’t think we could trust them.”

It seems nonsensical. Family should be on your side, no matter what. Bendy scoots a bit closer to Henry. “Why?”

“I used to be on okay terms with Sammy. I used to be friends with Joey.” Henry shudders like someone dropped a slug onto his back. “And, even if they aren’t like that, I don’t know if they’d stay quiet.”

“Oh.” Well, there’s a reason. For the toons, the best case scenario for people finding out about them is ending up stuck in the spotlight like those Dionne kids from the newsreels. Worst case? Some wannabe warlock copying Joey Drew’s methods for fame or immortality. It’s a real problem, and not one Bendy can even comprehend this late.

He can’t think of anything to say, either. Henry hadn’t ever talked about his family, really. He’d mentioned Linda once or twice, but never anyone else. It’s near impossible to tell what’ll be a touchy subject, and Bendy feels like he’s stumbled onto all of them. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t of said anythin’.”

Henry leans against Bendy’s shoulder. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s fine.” He’s still trembling. “If you need to blame someone, blame Joey.”

“I guess so.” He curls his tail around himself. It’s technically right, but still feels weird. Still, Henry wants to drop the subject, so pinning this on the murderous control freak it is.

It’s been months. Joey’s shadow should’ve stopped hanging over them when they’d escaped for good. But it hasn’t. Maybe it won’t ever go away.

He closes his eyes and tries to banish the thought from his mind.

_*_*_

Bendy blinks awake. He hadn’t realized he’d dozed off. It’s still dark out, nowhere near dawn, but it’s still probably time to head in. He nudges Henry gently.

Buddy wakes up and yawns. “Mornin’. Um, not morning?”

“C'mon Bud, up an’ at ‘em.” Buddy looks up at him pleadingly. “Fine. I’ll carry ya.” Bendy feigns grumbling as he hoists the pipsqueak onto his back and folds the blanket. Then, he drops the grumpy act. “You okay?”

Buddy dosen’t reply for a moment. “Dunno.” He shifts his weight a bit. “The stars are nice, but—” but it dosen’t outweigh the nightmares and other emotional turmoil, does it. “We’ll be okay, though. We’ll all be okay.” He tries to hug Bendy, as redundant as that is when he’s already clinging to him. “Just, eventually.”

Bendy looks back at the sky one more time before opening the door. It’ll still be there on a better, less stressful day. And he can almost convince himself that things will work out right.

Eventually.

Honey. HONEY.

I saw this in my inbox and my jaw DROPPED. This was absolutely lovely. Thank you thank you thank you so much!

[caddyxjellyby]

Alcott Readathon 2018: An Old-Fashioned Girl (1869)

Alcott’s third or fourth depending on how you count Good Wives novel, featuring cane-shaking, a menage a trois, and America’s favorite fighting Frenchman. Polly Arrives Fanny tells Tom to pick up Polly from the station. Tom says "She'll think you cared more about your frizzles than your friends, and she'll be about right, too." Fanny says "If I was the President, I'd make a law to shut up all boys till they were grown; for they certainly are the most provoking toads in the world." I wonder what Tom means by wearing a thingumbob? A veil maybe? The naughty boy tells Polly the hack-driver is tipsy so he won’t have to sit with her. It boggles my mind that a fourteen year old would refer to herself as a “little girl.” I suppose back them children didn’t have to bend over backwards to be taken seriously. That is, if you refer to yourself as a little girl people won’t take you seriously. But if they just do it as a given you don’t bend over backwards to earn it. Polly sings for Madam Shaw, the grandmother, and they talk about how they were brought up properly unlike the Shaw siblings. Madam Shaw doesn’t approve of children calling their father Papa. What the fuck. I bet “the old man” would make her spontaneously combust. The girls see a vulgar play; Polly doesn’t understand half the jokes, and the girls on stage are dressed as jockeys, which I think means wearing trousers. Scandalous. Madam Shaw praises her innocence.

New Fashions

Apparently eyeglasses were trendy in 1869. Polly follows Fanny to school, where the girls gossip about Carrie who ran away with an Italian music teacher.

Fanny: "I like to read about such things; but it's so inconvenient to have it happen right here, because it makes it harder for us. I wish you could have heard my papa go on. He threatened to send a maid to school with me every day, as they do in New York, to be sure I come all right. Did you ever?"

Belle: "That's because it came out that Carrie used to forge excuses in her mamma's name, and go promenading with her Oreste, when they thought her safe at school. Oh, wasn't she a sly minx?"

Trix: "I think a little fun is all right; and there's no need of making a talk, if, now and then, some one does run off like Carrie. Boys do as they like; and I don't see why girls need to be kept so dreadfully close. I'd like to see anybody watching and guarding me!" GO TRIX KEEPING GIRLS THE SLIGHTEST BIT “CLOSER’ THAN BOYS IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY HARMFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL. ...I have a lot of feels about gender and child-rearing, okay? Okay. The constant ads for the Blockers movie keep bringing it to mind. (Kathryn Newton, the most recent Amy March, is in it.) The Bostonians gush over some exciting novels; Polly doesn’t know them. Polly: "My mother says a real gentleman is as polite to a little girl as to a woman; so I like Mr. Sydney best, because he was kind to me." I want that embroidered. “Polly was not a model girl by any means” Sure, Louisa. The kids say ain’t a lot. Creosote sent my mind straight to Discworld. Polly’s Troubles Polly wished the children would be kinder to grandma; but it was not for her to tell them so, although it troubled her a good deal, and she could only try to make up for it by being as dutiful and affectionate as if their grandma was her own. Awww. The fact that they name their sleds is adorable. Me, I’ve never been a person to name inanimate objects, other than occasionally referring to something as the precious. Fan reads Lady Audley’s Secret. "I shouldn't think you'd make him laugh, when he's always making you cwy," observed Maud, who had just come in. Good one, Maud. Little Things Polly is a perfect child who can do no wrong, except spend some money on bronze boots instead of presents for her family. We learn that she has a dead brother named Jimmy. They studied Latin together so she helps Tom with his. Tom falls off his new velocipede and hits his head. Polly holds it while a doctor gives him stitches. Scrapes AFTER being unusually good, children are apt to turn short round and refresh themselves by acting like Sancho. For a week after Tom's mishap, the young folks were quite angelic, so much so that grandma said she was afraid "something was going to happen to them." I kind of loathe this line of thinking? If you want children to be good, don’t insult them by not trusting them. Polly, if you’ve never had to lie to your parents then you know you have good parents, and not everybody is like you. A boy sends Fanny flowers and that’s unacceptable. “I'll send you to school in a Canadian convent,” says Mr. Shaw. Oh boy. Tom dresses up in Fanny’s outfit, then they and Maud look at Polly’s journal, which is full of sketches of the family and friends, and Polly’s thoughts on Fan. If she would be as she was when I first knew her, I should love her just the same; but she isn't kind to me; and though she is always talking about politeness, I don't think it is polite to treat company as she does me. She thinks I am odd and countrified, and I dare say I am; but I shouldn't laugh at a girl's clothes because she was poor, or keep her out of the way because she didn't do just as other girls do here. I see her make fun of me, and I can't feel as I did; and I'd go home, only it would seem ungrateful to Mr. Shaw and grandma, and I do love them dearly." Grandma Tom was reposing on the sofa with his boots in the air, absorbed in one of those delightful books in which boys are cast away on desert islands, where every known fruit, vegetable and flower is in its prime all the year round; or, lost in boundless forests, where the young heroes have thrilling adventures, kill impossible beasts, and, when the author's invention gives out, suddenly find their way home, laden with tiger skins, tame buffaloes and other pleasing trophies of their prowess. The Shaw kids find Polly up in Grandma’s room, listening to her stories. They’re like you never told us that story and Grandma’s like you never asked. "At eight o'clock on the appointed evening, several of us professed great weariness, and went to our room, leaving the rest sewing virtuously with Miss Cotton, who read Hannah More's Sacred Dramas aloud, in a way that fitted the listeners for bed as well as a dose of opium would have done.”Surprisingly snarky Grandma. "Wait for your turn, Tommy. Now, Polly, dear, what will you have?" said grandma, looking, so lively and happy, that it was very evident "reminiscing" did her good. "Let mine come last, and tell one for Tom next," said Polly, looking round, and beckoning him nearer. Oh come on now Polly. Tom wants to shoot cats? Okay. Polly asks about a glove; Grandma tells the story of Lafayette kissing the glove with his picture on it and then kissing her on the cheek to avoid that. Grandma’s Aunt was married to John Hancock, just like Abigail Alcott’s grand-aunt was married to him in real life. Also she thinks leg o’mutton sleeves are beautiful and becoming. Let’s not hold it against her. Colonel May, that’s LMA’s grandfather. Next we go even further back in history - Grandma produces a letter “written by Anne Boleyn before her marriage to Henry VIII, and now in the possession of a celebrated antiquarian.” How she acquired this letter is not explained, and it does seem to be the original letter and not a copy. Good-by [sic] We get it, Louisa, you think fancy clothes are sinful. They hold a going-away party for Polly, inviting some girls to keep Maud out of the way and Tom’s school-friends, Rumple, Sherry, and Spider. Polly and Tom open the redowa; he’s bad at keeping time to the music, like me. She doesn’t know how to dance the German so she plays with the little girls in the library. Aww, they snuck presents for her family in Polly’s trunk. Six Years Afterward "WHAT do you think Polly is going to do this winter?" exclaimed Fanny, looking up from the letter she had been eagerly reading. She’s returning to Boston to teach music. Mr. Shaw respects her for being independent. Tom says she’s pretty in a moment of foreshadowing. Madam Shaw has died. "Where did you learn so much worldly wisdom, Polly?" asked Mr. Shaw, as his wife fell back in her chair, and took out her salts, as if this discovery had been too much for her. "I learnt it here, sir," answered Polly, laughing. "I used to think patronage and things of that sort very disagreeable and not worth having, but I've got wiser, and to a certain extent I'm glad to use whatever advantages I have in my power, if they can be honestly got." What is this, the Shaws doing something good for once? Holy hell! “You must come and see my pets, Maud, for my cat and bird live together as happily as brother and sister," said Polly, turning to Maud, who devoured every word she said. "That's not saying much for them," muttered Tom, feeling that Polly ought to address more of her conversation to him. Geez, Tom, entitled much? Tom is engaged to Trix. Polly keeps bees at her country home. It must be so nice to be able to clean without the paranoia that you’re going to get mocked for doing it wrong. All hail living alone! Lessons Polly finds her drudgery a bit harder than she expected but her pupils love her. She found Fanny enduring torment under the hands of the hair-dresser, who was doing his best to spoil her hair, and distort her head with a mass of curls, braids, frizzles, and puffs; for though I discreetly refrain from any particular description, still, judging from the present fashions, I think one may venture to predict that six years hence they would be something frightful. The problem with writing books set in the future. Polly comes home one day to find her landlady, Miss Mills, sewing a dress for Jane, who also lives in the boarding-house and tried to kill herself because she couldn’t find work that paid enough for the rent. Polly goes to visit Jane. Brothers and Sisters Polly’s brother Will visits her every Sunday and they’re BFFs. Tom hates being called Carrots; I want an Anne of Green Gables crossover. Maud informs him that Polly thinks he’s handsomer than Mr. Sydney. "Don't make such a noise, my head aches dreadfully," said Fanny, fretfully. "Girls' heads always do ache," answered Tom, subsiding from a roar into a chuckle. Um, fuck you Tom. He suspects Trix of wearing makeup because she won’t let him kiss her cheek, only “an unsatisfactory peck at her lips.” That’s less satisfying than the cheek? Whatever you say, Tom. Fanny confirms it. He doesn’t approve. Will arrives to take Maud to Polly’s; LMA gets a dig in: “They were very good friends, but led entirely different lives, Will being a "dig," and Tom a "bird," or, in plain English, one was a hard student, and the other a jolly young gentleman. Tom had rather patronized Will, who didn't like it, and showed that he didn't by refusing to borrow money of him, or accept any of his invitations to join the clubs and societies to which Tom belonged. So Shaw let Milton alone, and he got on very well in his own way, doggedly sticking to his books, and resisting all temptations but those of certain libraries, athletic games, and such inexpensive pleasures as were within his means; for this benighted youth had not yet discovered that college nowadays is a place in which to "sky-lark," not to study.” We'll see more of that when we get to Jo’s Boys. Polly talks better than other girls who are coquettes. Seriously. Jesus Christ. Maud has “a talent for betraying trifles which people preferred should not be mentioned in public” and “a queer way of going on with her own thoughts, and suddenly coming out with whatever lay uppermost, regardless of time, place, or company.” Huh. Needles and Tongues Fanny’s sewing circle meets at the Shaw house. Polly listens to them gossip. “Another divulged the awful fact that Carrie P.' s wedding presents were half of them hired for the occasion.” That’s pretty funny. Polly and Trix butt heads over giving charity. “[Trix] felt the same antagonism toward Polly, that Polly did toward her; and, being less generous, took satisfaction in plaguing her. Polly did not know that the secret of this was the fact that Tom often held her up as a model for his fiance to follow, which caused that young lady to dislike her more than ever.” I am not entirely unsympathetic to Trix. Polly tells them about Jane and they’re very moved and resolve to hire her for sewing. Forbidden Fruit Polly, Fanny, and Tom go to the opera. Polly buys new gloves for the occasion and their dog chews them up and she’s like serves me right for buying something I didn’t need. Her new bonnet survives, though, and Tom mentions how becoming it is. "Dress that girl up, and she'd be a raving, tearing beauty," he whispers to Maud, and Polly overhears. A bit of sarcastic fourth wall breaking: I deeply regret being obliged to shock the eyes and ears of such of my readers as have a prejudice in favor of pure English by expressions like the above, but, having rashly undertaken to write a little story about Young America, for Young America, I feel bound to depict my honored patrons as faithfully as my limited powers permit. Otherwise, I must expect the crushing criticism, "Well, I dare say it's all very prim and proper, but it isn't a bit like us," and never hope to arrive at the distinction of finding the covers of "An Old-Fashioned Girl" the dirtiest in the library. Polly wears her hair down, holy shit. Maud comments on what a lovely bride she would be, Tom refers to her as “Mrs. Sydney,” and Fan goes to the carriage “in an usually lofty manner.” Love triangle ahoy. And who should appear at the opera but Arthur Sydney? Polly, on her reaction to heartbreak: "That's not my way either," she said decidedly. "I'd try to outlive it, and if I could n't, I'd try to be the better for it. Disappointment needn't make a woman a fool." Sounds like Rosamund. We are reminded that French novels are evil, and Polly calls Tom a modern Beau Brummel. The Sunny Side Fanny and Tom discuss Polly/Sydney. Tom thinks being a fine lady wouldn’t suit her; Fanny disagrees. Tom realizes his sister likes Sydney and says nothing about it. Polly introduces Fanny to her friends Becky and Bess, two artists who live together. Becky is sculpting “the coming woman” and needs to put a symbol in her hands. Fanny suggests a queen’s sceptre, Polly a man’s helping hand, and Bess a child. Becky turns those down. Kate, an accidentally successful author, suggests a ballot-box. They have a lunch of sardines, oranges, crackers, and cheese, on mismatched plates which one 1860s reviewer found too unfeminine to be realistic. We learn that "Bess is to be married in the spring, and Becky is to live with her." Kate wants to put Polly in a book. Very funny.

Nipped in the Bud Polly inner monologues about how she can’t love Arthur Sydney as a wife should, so she ought to tell him before he proposes. Particularly since he and Fan would suit each other. She changes her route home so as to avoid meeting him, then he sees her coming home from Fanny’s one day and they talk. He says that Fanny hasn’t improved with her years and Polly defends her friend. “She puts on that dashing air before people to hide her real self. But I know her better; and I assure you that she does improve; she tries to mend her faults, though she won't own it, and will surprise you someday, by the amount of heart and sense and goodness she has got." Breakers Ahead Tom gets expelled for knocking down the Chapel watchmen. At least he didn’t need that degree for a job. And Mr. Shaw’s business has failed, and Tom has acquired a significant amount of debt. Oh no. Polly comforts him and then Fanny, who doesn’t actually need much comforting, being glad for the distraction from her unrequited love. Indian cake . . . is that cornbread? A Dress Parade The big house was given up as soon as possible and the little house taken; being made comfortable with the furniture Madam left there when she went to live with her son. The old-fashioned things had been let with the house, and now seemed almost like a gift from Grandma, doubly precious in these troublous times. At the auction, several persons tried to show the family that, though they had lost their fortune, friends still remained, for one bid in Fanny's piano, and sent it to her; another secured certain luxurious articles for Mrs. Shaw's comfort; and a third saved such of Mr. Shaw's books as he valued most, for he had kept his word and given up everything, with the most punctilious integrity. Maud enjoys herself learning to housewife. Polly gives Fanny advice on freshening her wardrobe, such as turning her grey suit. Fanny used to give Maud her old dresses for tableaux. Polly’s story is based on real life. From LMA’s ”Recollections of My Childhood”: People wondered at our frolics, but enjoyed them; and droll stories are still told of the adventures of those days. Mr. Emerson and Margaret Fuller were visiting my parents one afternoon; and the conversation having turned to the ever-interesting subject of education, Miss Fuller said,-- "Well, Mr. Alcott, you have been able to carry out your methods in your own family, and I should like to see your model children." She did in a few moments,--for as the guests stood on the doorsteps a wild uproar approached, and round the corner of the house came a wheelbarrow holding baby May arrayed as a queen; I was the horse, bitted and bridled, and driven by my elder sister Anna, while Lizzie played dog and barked as loud as her gentle voice permitted. All were shouting, and wild with fun, which, however, came to a sudden end as we espied the stately group before us, for my foot tripped, and down we all went in a laughing heap, while my mother put a climax to the joke by saying with a dramatic wave of the hand,-- "Here are the model children, Miss Fuller!" Playing Grandmother Tom has a harder time than his sisters. He’s too bad at business to help his father so he hangs out with Mrs. Shaw. "I'd cut away to Australia if it wasn't for mother; anything, anywhere to get out of the way of people who know me. I never can right myself here, with all the fellows watching, and laying wagers whether I sink or swim. Hang Greek and Latin! wish I'd learned a trade, and had something to fall back upon. Haven't a blessed thing now, but decent French and my fists.” Oh my gosh I think Tom’s a millennial. Polly teaches Maud how to make raisin cake for Tom’s birthday. He receives two letters: one from Trix dumping him, and one from Arthur Sydney saying that’s he’s paid Tom’s debts. Tom, unwilling to owe him, decides to go West, young man, like Polly’s brother Ned. The Woman Who Did Not Dare POLLY wrote enthusiastically, Ned answered satisfactorily, and after much corresponding, talking, and planning, it was decided that Tom should go West. Never mind what the business was; it suffices to say that it was a good beginning for a young man like Tom, who, having been born and bred in the most conservative class of the most conceited city in New England, needed just the healthy, hearty, social influences of the West to widen his views and make a man of him. Polly goes home for the summer, Maud to the shore with Belle, and Fan stays home. I’m pretty sure Polly lives in Concord. Does she know the Marches? She returns to Boston in the fall and Fanny says have you been sick? No, it’s love. Polly gives vague answers and Fan replies that she thinks Sydney is starting to like her. She shows Polly a photo Tom sent and Polly’s face makes her go Aha. Winter passes, and in May Fan and Sydney get engaged. Tom’s Success "Come, Philander, let us be a marching, Every one his true love a searching," would be the most appropriate motto for this chapter, because, intimidated by the threats, denunciations, and complaints showered upon me in consequence of taking the liberty to end a certain story as I liked, I now yield to the amiable desire of giving satisfaction, and, at the risk of outraging all the unities, intend to pair off everybody I can lay my hands on. Tom comes home and tells Polly he loves her. "Now, Tom, how could I know you loved me when you went away and never said a word?" she began, in a tenderly reproachful tone, thinking of the hard year she had spent. "And how could I have the courage to say a word, when I had nothing on the face of the earth to offer you but my worthless self?" answered Tom, warmly. "That was all I wanted!" whispered Polly, in a tone which caused him to feel that the race of angels was not entirely extinct. I suppose if I liked Tom more the romance might work for me but I don’t and it doesn’t. Neither pairing seems to happen naturally, the narrative forces them together. Will marries Jane and Maud remains a spinster, “[keeping] house for her father in the most delightful manner.” The End and I’m glad of it! Next is Little Men.

[myyearofgivingdaily]

Ode to the 2nd Mrs. DeWinter

“Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. . . “

... and today my dear friend Lisa sent me a note from her creaky family cabin in Minnesota where she’s been reading my all-time favorite book, Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier.

Actually Lisa has been listening to the audio book of Rebecca, which I am eager to try. I can think of no better way to wash the sound out of my ears after an ill-fated fling with audible.com. My relationship to audio books ended abruptly with Fifty Shades of Gray. Rookie mistake. I actually ripped out my headphones once just to get some sweet relief: “You did not just say ‘gossamer wings!’” I shouted at my phone.

But I’m obsessed with the printed page at the moment because Lisa emailed me her Summer Book BINGO Card, created by Seattle Arts & Lectures and the Seattle Public Library. And suddenly I am 13 again, so anxious to finish this blog so I can run to the printer and see which square works for the book I am reading now. (Hamilton, FYI, by Ron Chernow. Delicious. And way cheaper than the show.)

Rebecca could fit the BINGO square “reread a book you read in school,” but technically I read it when school was out for the summer. And it was purely optional. And accidental. I first met our protagonist/narrator, the 2nd Mrs. de Winter (teary-eyed per Hitchcock, below right), in July after 7th or 8th grade. My friend Suzanne and I were in a contest to see who could read more books before school started again – dorks – and we seriously set ourselves to the task of reading our way through the hometown library.

While other girls our age were getting turquoise rings from Matt Ward and jumping on the Hoyems’ trampoline without permission, I was Evelyn Wood-ing my way through the canon of one Joan Aiken, and, can I just say, Joan Aiken wrote a lot of books.

You’ve likely never heard of her, but lucky for me, Joan Aiken crafted some terrific young adult fiction, all with a light British accent and a touch of the supernatural. Her Wikipedia bio describes the genre as “children's alternative history novels.” Yikes. Who knew? 

Specifically Aiken had a thing for stories about orphaned siblings living with some mysterious uncle in a drafty English manor. The names may change, but generally a mischievous sprite or genie appears early on, willing to grant wishes that tend to go wrong, but oh so right, and everyone learns a lesson in the end. That was the theme. And there were plenty of variations.

I penned one such variation myself when I decided to be an author. My first and only novel was rather “derivative,” shall we say? I wrote it by hand in a bound volume of blank white pages that my oldest brother had given to me. A true patron of the arts, that one. He remains one to this day.

As I wrote the words “the end” in fancy script on the last page, I decided to give this singular copy of my Great American (Aiken) Novel, titled Summer Magic, to my patron as a sign of deep appreciation. My brother, though good-humored about it, was not exactly the target demo. He was 25. Just recently he “re-gifted” me with the book. Apparently he has no plans to reread it any time soon.

Anyway, Suzanne and I must have amended our draconian reading rules at some point during our summer of speed reading, because I did make it to the D’s and my first encounter with Rebecca. Today I can open that book to any page and I’m back in my room at 859 Lakeview. It’s summer, I’m sprawled out on my light blue bedspread, and my clock radio is tuned to CKLW. “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Brass Ring is playing and I can smell onions browning in the kitchen.

“SO SATISFYING,” wrote my friend Lisa when she finished Rebecca this afternoon. “Good old drunk and creepy Favell, evil Mrs Danvers. And how confused was weirdo Rebecca? So much misguided energy everywhere in that book. My god, I loved the writing. She could describe toilet paper and make it sound revelatory …. ‘hard and clean, trim and fresh!’”

Lisa is on the right side of literary history on this one. Critics far and wide cite “Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again,” as one of the best opening lines in English literature.

“The sentence is striking in terms of prosody (rhythm,stress, intonation),” states an essay on a website called TinHouse. “It is an Alexandrine: a line of poetic meter made up of twelve syllables, and an iambic hexameter, a line of six measures ...”

Wow. OK. I just thought it had a nice ring to it.

And therein lies the rub. Even though I claim to be some smarty pants who can quote lines from Rebecca, I must admit a sad truth. I’ve always thought the line was: “Last night I dreamed of Manderley.” Any time I think of the book or recommend it to someone, I hear that sentence in my head with that erroneous rhythm. But I’ve been four syllables off all these years, and never knew it. I’ll blame it on all that “children’s alternative history” I consumed via Joan Aiken.

So in honor of rereading Rebecca and quoting its iambic hexameters with accuracy from this day forward, I am sending today’s donation to the Ann Arbor District Public Library. The AADL will be a lively and vital partner in my race to beat my friend Lisa to 21st century dorkhood by way of a complete Summer Book BINGO Card. 

I may even have to crack open my copy of Summer Magic. Come on, reading your own book? That’s gotta be good for the free center square, at least.

About this blog: Causes and Effect: My Year of Giving Daily, was started in 2013 by entertainment and culture journalist Melinda Newman, who made daily donations to a wide variety of nonprofits and wrote about her experience. USA Today music writer, Brian Mansfield, took on this monumental task in 2014. This year, 12 individuals will contribute, each taking over the blog for one month.  

About Deborah Holdship: Deborah Holdship is the editor of Michigan Today, a digital alumni magazine distributed monthly to some 300,000 alumni of the University of Michigan. She also produces a podcast called “Listen in, Michigan” about U-M history and happenings. For many years, she worked as an entertainment journalist in Los Angeles (with the byline Deborah Russell) at Billboard, LAUNCH, and Yahoo. After 20 years in sunny So-Cal, Holdship returned “home” to Michigan, where she lives happily with her husband/musician, Barry; their dog, Charles; and a kooky cat named Brando.