#but apparently once I begin I just cannot stop

[singular-yike]

Barrier Shop "Azumaterasu"

The Sanctuary is the geographical area around the Senri Shrine, within which is the Human Village. The barrier shop "Azumaterasu" can be found within this village, and is the topic of analysis today!

Mainly, I'll be focusing on three aspects of this shop:

The mythological inspiration behind its name

Its history and role within Mugenri

The store's internal hierarchy, and how Tenkai fits into it

That out of the way, let us begin!

Mythological Basis: Tōshō-daigongen

Azumaterasu is named after a Japanese god called Tōshō-daigongen (東照大権現), the "great incarnation who illuminates the east".

The "incarnation" here is because he is said to be the local manifestation of the buddha Yakushi-nyorai (薬師如来), the medicine buddha, under the honji-suijaku theory (本地垂迹) (No we do not have time to go into that this is long enough as is).

Below: A depiction of Yakushi-nyorai on a painted scroll.

When read under kun'yomi reading, Tōshō (東照) is "azuma terasu", and this is where we get the barrier shop's name from. Now , let's take a look as to at why it may have been chosen.

One key thing to note, is that Tōshō was once a human, and not just any human, Tokugawa Ieyasu, the founder and first shogun of the Tokugawa Shogunate.

Below: A portrait of Tokugawa Ieyasu.

This is perhaps immediately notable to you as Ieyasu is likely who Tsurubami Senri is based on. In addition to this, it also furthers Tenkai's own connection to the shogun, whose burial site is referenced extensively in Tenkai's spell cards.

Tōshō is thought to have been created as a counterpart to Amaterasu (天照大神), the "Great Goddess that Illuminates the Heavens". Note the similarity between the names, especially when considering Azumaterasu.

Tōshō is said to be the ancestor and guardian of the Shogunate family, while Amaterasu, is said to be the ancestor and guardian of the Imperial family.

Additionally, the Imperial family was based in the west then, which is theorized to be the reason Tōshō is specifically tied to the east.

The name is likely a reference to the fact that Tenkai was one of the two dictative powers in Mugenri, much like how the Imperial family and the Shogunate were the two ruling powers of Japan.

It may also be reflective of the barrier shop and the Senri Shrine being together in charge of the whole of the Mugenri Barrier, Azumaterasu in charge of the "inner" and the shrine in charge of the "outer" barrier.

History and Role

As previously mentioned, the barrier shop is quite old, apparently with a "long and honorable history" to its name.

While we know nothing about said "long and honorable history", it is not impossible that the "particularly famous barrier builder" that Tenkai Zuifeng apparently descends from relates to this.

In terms of physical appearance, JynX compares it to the Kyoto State Guest House, an expansive Japanese-styled mansion.

Below: Entrance of the Kyoto State Guest House.

As a side note, I really recommend checking out other images of the guest house, it's extremely gorgeous and the entrance honestly does not do its beauty justice. (Official website and Twitter account)

It's fairly clear that JynX considers it a fairly powerful and influential establishment within Mugenri, and this is especially notable in its role to "maintain and repair the 'inner' Mugenri Barrier".

To this end, each barrier builder at the shop is assigned to a particular section of the barrier, which they are in charge of. This is why Tenkai showed up in the RMI extra stage, as the part of the barrier that broke was under their jurisdiction.

We don't know much about how the store operates, but it seems reasonable that anyone who wants a barrier set up can request their services, just as Jinbei did when asking for someone to repair the Mugenri Barrier.

Hierarchy and Tenkai Zuifeng

Here we examine the hierarchy within Azumaterasu, and perhaps more importantly, how it impacts Tenkai Zuifeng as a character.

Hierarchy and Power Balance

While it's not exactly clear, it can be seen that there seems to roughly be 3 hierarchal levels within Azumaterasu: The old masters of barrier building at the top, the average barrier builder below them, and the apprentices at the bottom.

Of course, it's quite likely that there are more distinct divisions of roles within each level as well, perhaps there's a shop owner who lords over everyone else, for example; and the division between senior and junior members as found in Japanese culture would almost certainly exist as well.

Tenkai within the system

Moving onto Tenkai, outside of Azumaterasu, they are "One of the Old Dictators". Their subjugation of Mugenri alongside the ex-head priest of the Senri Shrine, Tsurubami Senri, earning them great respect from its people.

Yet within Azumaterasu, Tenkai is but an "apprentice barrier builder", likely owing to their ineptitude at repairing barriers, despite their talent at creating new ones.

Adding to this, power harassment, the use of one's higher position of power to harass and bully those at positions below you, is apparently quite rampant in Azumaterasu.

We see this in how Tenkai's teachers and superiors often give them barrier repairing jobs, which they claim are to "train Tenkai to overcome their weakness," when in reality it is to attack their prestige.

This culminated in Tenkai's insubordination when fixing the Mugenri Barrier in RMI out of frustration towards their superiors, where they "arranged a very small prank with the barrier," likely altering it slightly rather than returning it to how it exactly was before.

Tenkai as a character

This leads to what I personally find most interesting about Tenkai as a character, and what I think is an important part of their character arc: Their transition between two roles, two stages of their life.

Their role as "dictator" has already reached its peak and come to an end with Tsurubami's departure, leaving them with their role as a "barrier builder" which they have ample room to develop.

They may have several impressive barrier-related feats to their name and be descendant from a famous barrier builder, but their immaturity with the craft (or perhaps even in general) is still evident.

In BPoHC, their character is focused (when not busy expounding lore or reacting to the situation at hand) on their struggle to pull away from the whole dictator business.

They still keep tabs on potential threat to Mugenri, they get involved in the incident even though they didn't plan to, they spend their free time spying on people with bird names, etc.

It's very often that Tenkai is viewed as an "other" to Tsurubami, one half of a whole, and it's certainly not untrue with how much they talk about and miss Tsurubami, and I mean their title even stresses this.

But I think viewed on their own, Tenkai is interesting as a character transitioning from one major stage of their life into another. This is of course triggered by the departure of their dear friend Tsurubami, but its effect ripples much further as well.

It is as they move away from being the "great dictator over Mugenri", that their role as "barrier builder of Azumatersu" rises into prominence, and I for one am quite curious whether they'll settle into this role or find something entirely new for themself.

Ending

That finally concludes this analysis on the barrier shop "Azumaterasu", we don't have much, but it's surprisingly deep when you really look into it.

I did accidentally veer off to talk about Tenkai a while lot, though I wanted to to put my thoughts somewhere anyways, and this post is as good as any.

Though I do apologise if the Tenkai section comes off as rather incoherent, it's quite late at night and I suddenly thought about all this midway through the hierarchy section, hehe.

Also, I did kind of brush past the whole "Buddha manifesting as a local Japanese deity" thing but that's opening a whole other can of worms that would easily double the length of this post.

I'm not opposed to talking about non-Len'en stuff at all, and in fact I have quite a lot of Japanese mythology-based stuff done as well (see here), so feel free to shoot those questions my way too, if you'd like~.

That's a lot more ending notes than usual but now we've finally reached the end. As usual, I hope you enjoyed~! :)

[kayceecruz]

Ok, here's why I didn't have a problem with Colin in Part 2. He was processing so many emotions.

1. This man is so in love with Pen, has been by his own admission, for a long time that he was completely blindsided by her secret. Colin is unhinged with his love on good days. Their confrontation was heated, but his devastation more than his anger was the focus. He loves her, and she's been lying. So, he lashed out and said things he didn't even believe because he couldn't process his feelings.

He gets to feel this way, imo. Penelope of all people knows him best and what he was going through, which is why she was so gently firm and understanding with him.

2. Once he processed the lie, then came the feelings of fear for her and them if Lady Whistledown was unmasked. It's a big deal if not handled right. (Book made a point of this, too) She doesn't quite have that fear, which pisses him off because anything could happen to his wife, and Colin is not having that shit. So they fight, and she stops him cold with her yelling her love at him, which leads to heavy petting session and his beginning to thaw.

3. He honestly can not understand why Penelope loves him. This one is really his own self-worth, which he has been wrestling with his whole life, but he looks at her, this amazing woman who apparently is one of the most influential people and he cannot grasp why she loves him. He doesn't understand that she loves the bones of him and he is afraid she can't love him they way he does her.

4. He wants to be her hero so badly because she is his. He doesn't realize he already is by just being him because he has never been enough before.

5. He literally wants her always, and no matter how mad he is, that doesn't change, so he needs to reconcile that.

Imagine you are Colin and having to process all of this in the span of like a week? It's a lot, friends. It's why Pen gives him so much grace but forces him to confront those feelings.

From where I was sitting, they handled all that really well.

[azriels-shadowsinger]

you should totally do number 12 with az or rhys 🥺

“When have you ever cared?” “I’ve always cared.”

Azriel x Reader

wc: 2k

a/n: i always love a good rivals to lovers story. warning: descriptions of blood and injuries.

prompt list

You hate Azriel. Absolutely hated him. You hate his cocky attitude, you hate the way he never wants you on missions, you hate the way girls seem to fawn over him at Rita’s, and most of all, you hate the way that you can’t stop being attracted to him. Which made the current situation worse, because you were having trouble focusing on training when Azriel was shirtless and sweaty sparring with Cassian across the ring.

After the fifth time of you getting knocked onto the floor by your sparring partner after getting distracted, Emerie eventually gave up on you.

“How are you supposed to be ready for your mission tomorrow if you are so unfocused?” she laughed.

“I’ll be fine. I do-“ You stop speaking when you feel a shadowy presence lurk over you.

“Can I help you Azriel?” You ask sarcastically, turning to face him.

“You’re not going.” Azriel replied gruffly.

“Excuse me?” You scoff.

“I said you’re not going on the mission.” You roll your eyes. Of course he would try to keep you off of yet another mission. You had prepared for that and got Rhysand to personally ensure that you could go this time.

“Take that up with Rhys. He said I’m going.” You say with a victorious smirk.

“We’ll see about that.” He grumbles, storming off towards Rhysand’s office. You wait patiently with a smug smile on your face, pretending to be preoccupied with sharpening your daggers, as he returns.

“You will not do anything without my say so. You will not stray from the mission at all, under any circumstances. If I give an order, you follow it. Do you understand?” He spits angrily, obviously upset over Rhysand’s decision.

“Whatever you say, spymaster. I’ll see you at 6 AM to head out.” You say smugly and turn to leave.

———

You meet Azriel the next morning, and he is already visibly agitated. After an overly detailed discussion of the mission plan, he winnows the two of you to the mission spot.

Azriel made sure to reiterate the plan again once you arrived, earning an annoyed eyeroll at the implied lack of faith in your skills. The plan was that he would infiltrate the safe house, capture the enemy, and extract him from the building to bring him back for interrogation. You were only there to help carry the unconscious body, apparently. You reluctantly agree to the plan, realizing that arguing would get you nowhere. At least you were allowed to join this time.

“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Be ready to winnow.” He whispers before disappearing into the shadows.

Fifteen minutes passed. Then twenty. Then thirty. After forty minutes, you were fully convinced something had gone horribly wrong.

Fuck it. You didn’t care if he got pissed, you’re going in to check that everything is okay.

You move closer to the building and peek into the window. No movement. You sneak closer to the door, slipping inside inconspicuously. Upon entering, you begin to scan the area for any signs of Azriel. You walk further inside turning the corner, and that’s when you see it: blood on the floor, and Truthteller lying discarded next to it. That cannot be a good sign, you think while trying to shove your panic down deep. You quickly pick up the abandoned blade and examine the area closer, following the trail of blood and the sound of voices through the halls. When you finally reach a large room, you see exactly what you were afraid of. Azriel is bound against the wall unconscious and bloody. The target is watching him while conversing with someone, twirling a knife in his hand.

“Just kill him already.” The other fae complains.

“No. Do you not realize who this is, you imbecile? This is the spymaster of the High Lord. Once Rhysand realizes he is missing, he will come try to rescue him, and then we can finally take that undeserving half-breed out. Hopefully, he brings the general, and we can kill the bastard too. Only then will I kill the shadowsinger, but not until we get to have our fun with him. I’m sure there are some juicy secrets of the court we can carve out of him.” You feel nauseated at the sickening grin on the male’s face.

Your duty is to this court, and cannot allow Rhysand and Cassian to be put in danger over this. Nor can you sit by and watch Azriel be tortured by this cruel, idiotic male. Idiotic because he didn’t use magical bindings to lock Azriel up, allowing his shadows to roam free. They circle their master, obviously frantic that he cannot hear them.

A small shadow darts towards you, and soon the rest follow. The shadows swirl around you, expectantly, going completely unnoticed by the two males.

“Um, I’m not entirely sure if you can understand me, but I have a plan. If you all could make it very dark in here, that would be great.” You ask awkwardly, hoping the shadows understand. They apparently do, because soon the entire room goes dark, except for the path between you and Azriel.

“What the- hey!” You hear the other male yell and footsteps run towards you. Unable to see through the shadows, you throw a dagger towards the noise. Without checking to see if you hit your target, you hurry to free Azriel from his chains. Once his hands are free, you grab onto him and attempt to winnow.

Winnowing long distances was always a challenge for you, you’re not sure why. What takes others a single jump takes you five. You hold tightly to Azriel and try to winnow. The world around you begins to fade, turning into blackness. Before the sight can completely fade, however, you see a knife come hurdling towards you, landing directly in your thigh.

The sudden burning pain causes you to lose focus, and the world abruptly reappears around you, causing both you and Azriel to land face first in the dirt of a random forest.

“Fuck!” You yell in pain. Either the fall or the sound of your yelling seems to have roused Azriel because you hear faint grumbling beside you before he falls unconscious again. As you attempt to stand, searing pain shoots down your leg from the wound in your thigh. You bite your lip, trying to ignore the stabbing ache. Now is not the time to focus on your pain. You need to get the two of you to safety, you remind yourself. You pull the blade out from your leg with a cry. Once you compose yourself again, you wrap a piece of cloth torn from your shirt around your leg to stop the bleeding. You grab ahold of Azriel again and attempt to winnow, but for some reason, you can’t. That’s when you notice the faint green tinge on the discarded blade.

“Gods damned faebane.” You curse lowly. You won’t be winnowing anywhere for a while. It’s likely in Azriel too, meaning you two are stuck. Great.

———

It took over an hour to drag the giant Illyrian through the forest, finally finding an abandoned cabin. By the time you reach it, you feel lightheaded from the blood loss and from hauling Azriel. There is absolutely no way you could lift him, so once he is safely inside on the floor, you search the cabin for first aid materials. You find a roll of gauze and a bottle of liquor. That will have to do, you think.

You manage to bite your tongue through the pain of cleaning and dressing your wound and begin to work on Azriel’s. As soon as the alcohol-soaked cloth touches his cut, the male jolts up in a panic. One quick look around at the unfamiliar cabin and you tending to his injuries, and Azriel freaks.

“What the hell happened? Where are we? Are you bleeding?” He fires on a string of questions, one after another.

“Breathe. We’re okay. You got captured, not entirely sure how honestly, and I had to save your ass. We are waiting here until the faebane leaves our systems.” You try to sound calm, but that doesn’t stop your racing heart. Azriel thinks for a moment, looking around the cabin. His eyes land on the bloody bandaged wound on your thigh again, and he immediately becomes angry.

“You came in after me?” He barks.

“Uh, yeah?” You ask, confused at his anger.

“You disobeyed a direct order!” Azriel growls.

“You were in trouble!” Why the hell are you having to defend yourself for saving him?

“I don’t care. You should’ve followed orders. I would’ve gotten myself free eventually.” He snaps. You huff in annoyance.

“You stupid arrogant male, they were going to torture you! And then use you to lure Rhys and Cass and kill them too! How the hell was I supposed to sit by and let that happen?” You scream angrily. He attempts to stand, wincing at the pain. You want to tell him that he should stay sitting, but it’s unlikely that he will listen.

“You should’ve stayed outside.” He growls, stalking closer.

“You would be dead if I did that!” You stare him down in defiance.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have gotten hurt!” That makes you pause. Is that why he’s angry, you wonder.

“Despite what you may think about my skills, I’m perfectly capable of withstanding a minor injury from a mission!” You argue.

“You shouldn’t have to.” He spits coldly.

“Since when do you care what happens to me?” You scoff.

“I’ve always cared.” His voice drops to being barely audible and he turns away. You freeze.

“What?”

“Nevermind. I’m gonna start a fire while we wait.” He grumbles. You walk around him to face him, blocking the fireplace.

“No, what did you mean you’ve always cared? You hate me. Everyone knows it.” You ask hesitantly. This must be some new attempt to embarrass you or something, you rationalize.

“I’ve never hated you.” He whispers, avoiding eye contact by staring at the floor.

“I don't understand. Then why do you always keep me out of missions? Why do you ignore me any time I try to be nice?” You ask angrily.

“I… fuck.” He runs his hand through his hair before looking you in the eyes. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. Either from missions or by me.” The last words come out quieter than the rest. “I thought that ignoring you and keeping you off missions would keep you kept you at a safe distance. I didn’t want to risk you being targeted just because of how I feel about you.” Your eyes soften at the admission.

“That wasn’t your decision to make. I get to decide what is worth the risk for me.” You say in a gentler tone. Azriel looks at the floor again, shaking his head.

“You don’t get it. Today is a perfect example. The people in my life that I care about are constantly at risk.”

“Did I not handle myself?” You ask, causing him to sigh.

“That isn’t the point. You don’t-“ You cut him off, pressing a kiss to his lips. Azriel stands frozen for a second, before quickly wrapping his hands into your hair and holding you closer. “Fuck it.” He mumbles while kissing you, backing you into the wall.

It’s safe to say that you and Azriel found very good use of your time while you waited for the faebane to wear off.

———

Rhysand was less than thrilled to hear about the unsuccessful mission when you returned. After you two showed him what happened, obviously leaving out what happened at the cabin, the three of you made a plan to go back and capture the two males. Azriel tried to argue about you going, but one stern look from you and he quickly shut up.

“Well, it seems like you two sorted out your issues.” Rhys laughs, not noticing Azriel’s smirk.

prompt list

tag list: @fxckmiup

[rhaenella]

CL16 | Is It Over Now? | pt.7

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and charles have been everyone's fave couple on the grid, but when you somewhat unexpectedly break up, you turn to songwriting to cope with the pain

face claim: léon

a/n: the finale... once again, all songs mentioned are either by taylor swift or léon. happy reading x

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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

masterlist

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Liked by taylorswift, danielricciardo and 1,292,849 others

y/n: End & New Beginnings. ONE WEEK.

✨Is It Over Now?~Say Don’t Go~Bigger Than The Whole Sky~You’re Losing Me~Now That We Don’t Talk~Pretty Boy✨

View all 12,138 comments

user55: y/n’s latest masterpiece is incoming!!

user56: YES GIRL LETS GO

user57: omg finally 😱

user58: can’t fucking wait 💛

user59: babe are you realizing you’re releasing on friday the 13th 💀

user56: y/n is like “i’ve conquered all this year’s bad luck already, no one can stop me”

6 October

Liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 1,450,288 others

y/n: It feels like it’s been a long time coming and now it’s here, my new EP ‘End & New Beginnings’ 🤍 Been a few sleepless nights making this to be honest. Ups and downs like always. But now I’m just so happy to let go of it and let you have it, and hopefully you’ll embrace it and make it yours. 

To the incredible people who’ve been a part of this record, THANK YOU! Couldn’t have done it without you… 

Here’s to the end & new beginnings 🕊️

View all 14,159 comments

taylorswift: Perfection 🥰✨🎼😍💋

y/n: ❤️❤️❤️

danielricciardo: ART.

Liked by y/n

lilymhe: Beautiful work sweetie, I can’t with how talented you are 🥹 You made me cry the entire 23 mins (and then again cuz it was on repeat)

y/n: Awww, thank you love 🥰 and I’m sorryyyy 🙊

alex_albon: It’s so so good! I didn’t cry tho…

lilymhe: Liar

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Wow 💕

Liked by y/n

yourbestfriend: You’ve outdone yourself once again, darling, love you

y/n: I love you more baby

user60: as someone who’s just gone through a terrible breakup too, i cannot express how comforting it is to hear these songs and realize i’m not alone

Liked by y/n

13 October

—

You let your phone drop to the bathroom counter, blinking slowly, unable to fathom the conversation that had just taken place. Had he really just said those things? Scrolling through the texts confirmed that yes, he had indeed. The bastard.

Charles had always been the jealous type. But attacking you like that when he had been the one to… It was absolutely ridiculous. Apparently he still couldn’t—or wouldn’t—grasp the depths of how much he had actually hurt you.

You’d loved him with all of your heart. Until he had ripped it out and hurled it to the floor, letting it shatter into a million tiny pieces. Yet, even then, you would’ve forgiven him. If only he’d apologised. If only he’d shown true remorse. But he hadn’t. And so you’d been forced to walk the path of mending your own heart, and move on with your life.

Perhaps a small part of you had hoped that he could be happy for you. That somehow, even after everything, you would be able to greet each other normally—that you could coexist peacefully. But as his texts just now had demonstrated, that wasn’t going to happen. Not right now. And definitely not next week in Texas. You sighed. It would’ve been too good to be true, anyway. Especially considering who you were currently seeing…

A light knock sounded at the door, startling you out of those thoughts. 

“Are you almost ready to go, darling?” a male voice asked, soft.

Right. Dinner. Celebrations. 

You had been in the midst of applying the finishing touches to your makeup and outfit before Charles had interrupted, quite literally shocking you to the core when his name had appeared on your lock screen. He’d been the last person you’d expected to hear from today.

You swallowed the bitter taste that Charles’ texts had managed to leave behind. He wasn’t worth it, you repeated to yourself. You weren’t going to let his shenanigans ruin a perfect night—a perfect date. You ran a hand through your hair and readjusted the necklace around your neck when the bathroom door creaked open behind you. 

Looking up, your eyes met your handsome, new boyfriend’s through the mirror. He was smiling, eyebrows raised in silent question, ever patient as he waited for you to finish up. You felt your pulse quicken at the sight of him, dressed to perfection in a dark suit, hair neatly tousled.

As always, his presence was able to reassure you within the blink of an eye, the tense muscles in your neck and shoulders relaxing as you gladly let all of your complex emotions fall away.

“Yes,” you nodded, a genuine smile spreading across your lips. “I’m ready.”

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THE END

but who is she with? well, there’s a little (and not so subtle) easter egg that refers back to the beginning of part 6 that will confirm certain things… have you spotted it?

thank you everyone for coming along on this ride! it’s been a hell of a lot of fun writing and creating this story 🥰 my apologies to all the y/n x charles shippers out there, but as our songbird said: here’s to the end and new beginnings…

Now, if you'd like, please cast your votes below :)

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Tags: @sukisheadlights @eviethetheatrefreak @blueflorals @kiskso @dessxoxsworld @treehouse-mouse @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @clown-fc @stopeatread @vanishingcherry @bb-swift @leclercdream @scenesofobx @kagatinkita @allywthsr @evieepepi08 @viennakarma @riverjane-d @httpjeonlicious @madnesstaking0ver @futurecorps3 @celesteblack08 @sadg3 @simxican @glow-ish @spideybv28 @laneyspaulding19 @tswizzleismother @slytherinfolk25 @merchelsea @1655clean @urgirlnextdoorr @cixrosie @lightdragonrayne @lxclerc @hopexcroc @nichmeddar @imthebadguyyy

[o-sachi]

Fell First & Fell Harder Pt. 2 - Blue Lock Chars.

you fell first, but they definitely fell harder

characters; oliver aiku, bachira meguru, gagamaru gin, shidou ryusei

tags; fluff, gn reader, no y/n

Oliver Aiku

"It's just you. I promise. No one else is in the picture."

He was faithful... to an extent. The most that he did, after all, was be too friendly with others—which could be mistaken for flirting. But all you could do was sit there and hope that he'd stop it soon.

Although, at some point you reach your breaking point. You bring it up again and it blows up into a huge fight. The conclusion was to have an indefinite break from each other.

In that time you were away from each other, he realizes how big of a fumble that was on his part. Now was the time he'd start missing you SO MUCH. It was so bad that he couldn't think of anyone else but you and he didn't even have the energy to entertain people that weren't you.

One day you two get to talking again and it leads to a mini reconciliation. He promises with his life that he'd take you more seriously and that you'd be the one and only person his attention would be on.

Bachira Meguru

"You're the cure to my boring life."

You quickly realize that he's not the type to be super serious about someone early on. He's not too experienced with dating, so he's complacent in the simple fact that you like him and he likes you.

Nevertheless, you love to indulge him with his whims. You were determined to be his ride-or-die and it showed. You supported him through every step he took, offering gentle pieces of advice every once in a while to keep him grounded.

There were rare occurrences when he'd be self-aware. He'd realize that sometimes he was going too fast without taking into consideration the feelings of other people. Then, he'd be hyper aware of what you felt towards him and your relationship.

Your impact in his life becomes more apparent in these moments. Bachira eventually begins to consider you more in his life—integrating you in everything that he does. In due course, football wasn't just an outlet for him, but also a way to make you proud of him.

Gagamaru Gin

"Love? Huh... I guess that's the word to describe it."

The falling harder part certainly took a while to happen. Similar to Bachira, Gagamaru doesn't have much experience in the world of dating. The idea never intrigued him, so he figured there was no point in entertaining it. But your persistent ass came along.

This would certainly be a first love type of scenario. The newfound feelings and experiences you had to offer him overwhelmed Gagamaru in a good way.

He had nothing else to compare this to; he believes your love is the one of the greatest things in his life (close competition with grilled meat).

Cannot get enough of you now. It's like a drug to him—addicting and it consumes it. Before you know it, he's absolutely worshipping the shit of you—doing everything in his power to make you the happiest human alive.

Shidou Ryusei

"You make it throb... my heart, I mean."

His previous relationships were also short-lived primarily because he was too intense (freaky) for his partners to handle. It was set in stone: starting now, he would never settle for anyone who cannot match his enthusiasm (freak).

Out of all of them, he's probably the one that falls harder the fastest. But it's no easy feat to achieve. You really need to capture his attention—make him fascinated by your very existence. Do those simple things and he's yours in a flash.

But here's the surprise—with him, there's another layer to it. Sure, he could be deeply interested in you. But can he be serious with you? Can he honestly say that he's committed to you? Those are important questions that pop up once you've been together for a while.

You only know that he's 100% serious about you when he can finally sit down and talk to you, heart-to-heart. His vulnerability is something that he would only show to the most special of special people in his life. That happens to be you.

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms

[behoright]

console me l m. barzal

how it feels to rest / on your patient lips

summary: as angry as mat is after the season loss, he cannot hide it from you. mostly plotless smut

wordcount: 4.6k

warnings: minors DNI! 18+ only. smut, sexual situations that include rough sex, degrading language and behaviors, pain/pleasure dynamics, pet names, consent break/check, bodily fluids. mentions of size difference and love lol.

a/n: for all my sad, islanders girlies. masterlist is fixed! muah.

read me please:  i cannot say this any more clearly: this is not for everyone. read at your discretion. the warnings are stated as clearly as i can my loves. my inbox is always open to have any discussion about writing, relationships, sex, bdsm and kink. if this makes you uncomfortable or simply is not your cup of tea, move on my dear. love u guys always.

⊹　 　　🎧　 　　 ⁾⁾　

It really took only a day to figure out.

As much as he tried to hide it, leave it at the rink.

Anger. 

Mat had never been so pissed before. 

For once, he knew that he had given it his all. 

He had sacrificed, time and time again. 

Played through sickness, injuries, birthdays, and special events. 

Harder than ever before.

Despite knowing that everything passes, he couldn’t shake the thought, or perhaps the fact, that there had been other factors that cost the team the cup. 

Things out of his control. 

And it drove him to the edge every night.

Having to see his teammates get more disappointed with every passing second on the ice. 

Knowing that their dream was slipping away from them, no matter how much he had clawed and fought to hold on. 

He spent extra time at the gym, on the ice, hours after the last painful loss, just to attempt to get rid of the anger. 

But it wasn’t working. 

Instead, it just fueled the apparent neverending and burning cycle.

The last thing he wanted to do was bring his negativity home. 

Back to you. 

To the safe haven you had both built so meticulously. 

The only person that stood by his side, in every sense of the word, didn’t deserve to take the brunt. 

However, you could see the cracks. 

He was very good at veiling it, but not good enough for you. 

The past couple days had brought you a huge sense of gratitude, knowing you were in a relationship that stripped your souls and bodies. 

Fully being yourselves at all times. 

So, as you packed to begin your various summer travels, you knew you had no other choice.

Something was pounding, deep from inside you, to open this door for you two. 

You stood in your shared room, watching Mat’s muscular back crouched down in the walk in closet as he messily threw his shirts in his luggage.

“Mat?” you called him, voice shaky.

“Hmm, babe?” he asked, still packing. 

“How are you feeling?”

The question wasn’t anything new, a domestic ritual you two had to keep your connection based in truth wholly. 

Since you had both promised to listen without any stories or distractions in exchange for the complete truth, every single time, it had become easier to share.

“Well, love…” he sighed, not daring to face you as his face stiffened, your question bringing up his most repressed feelings. “I’m angry. I’m fucking frustrated at how it all ended, you know?”

“You are?” you said, walking towards him, picking at the skin on your hands nervously.

“Yeah, baby. It’s okay, I mean, it’ll pass. But I’m angry.”

“Take it out on me.” you blurted out, strong in your stance and words, now only a couple of feet behind him. “Fuck me as hard as you can.”

Mat stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening as his mind emptied, only being able to stare at the half empty suitcase in front of him. 

Whether he liked to admit it or not, he knew that you could see right through him. 

There was no hiding from the woman he loved. 

“I know that we’ve talked about this before but… are you sure you can handle it?” he questioned, turning around to look at you. 

“I know I can, Mat.”

“Baby…”

The overhead warm light surrounded your head like a halo as he looked up at you. 

He wondered, during a poetic moment, how his angel could be giving herself over to him like this. 

“I’m asking for it.” you said, taking a step closer to him. “Can you handle it?”

For a moment he forgot that his sweet angel was no such thing behind closed doors. Ever since the first night, he saw that dark fire inside you, and it hadn’t gone out in years. 

Mat was the perfect fan to your flames.

“Oh, so it’s like that huh?” Mat answered, his lips curling up into a smirk as he stood up to tower over you. “Will you tell me if you need me to stop?”

“Yes.” you gulped as you two stood just inches apart. “I remember my word.”

“You do, huh?” he asked as you saw his feet take one last step towards you, the fabric of his shirt ghosting over yours.

“I can take it.” you repeated, getting lost in his eyes as you looked up into his dark eyes.

“Yeah, we can take it, right, baby?” he uttered, his fingers wrapping around the sides of your neck as his eyes looked down upon you. “We fucking can.”

His lips finally met yours, Mat’s tongue swiping feverishly on your bottom lip before invading your mouth, drippingly meeting yours in a heated makeout session.

The belligerence of his kiss sent a moan reberverating inside his open mouth. 

Mat loved to make out. He could do it for hours, until his cock began to twitch restlessly in his denim. 

He opened his mouth fully, letting you invade each other messily. 

Lately, he had taken it as far as to spit in your mouth. Not forcefully, but just letting a trail of spit drip from the tip of his tongue into your throat, the height difference coming to his advantage.

It felt so fucking primal to him that it always sent you flying against a wall everytime he’d see the look of passion and satisfaction in your eyes after you swallowed his saliva.

“Is this what you’ve been thinking about? All those times I was heated, venting at you?”

he asked, forcing you to take steps back into the bedroom, still holding you tightly, the tips of his fingers pushing against the ridges of your scalp. 

“Yes.” you whispered into a kiss. The sensual murmur drove him to bite your bottom lip, pull it towards him as he stopped your motions.

“Oh, what is wrong with you, baby? That’s so fucking bad.” he said, watching the bite swell up exquisitely as you smiled, enticing him into more kisses. 

More spit, boiling into each other and pushing each other unconsciously as you two ondulated in your heat. He began to shove himself intensely against you, getting more of those moans he loved so much. 

“You can’t even be quiet when I kiss you.” he said, shaking his head slowly as his hand came to rest on the front of your neck. He flinched backwards when you attempted to kiss him again. 

It was his bedroom now.

“Come here.” he barked, sitting down on the bed. “This will shut you up.”

He didn’t have to repeat himself before you kneeled in front of him, not even giving him a chance to undo his pants before your mouth salivated over him. He rested his long fingers on your shoulder, almost keeping you tamed as he pulled out his erection.

“Eager, eager girl.” he chuckled, watching you leap onto him.

You wished you could take him entirely the second your tongue met the salty precum that had dribbled down his shaft, but that had never been a possibility. 

Unbeknownst to you, Mat fucking loved it. 

He adored that you struggled to take him, that you wanted so hard to swallow him whole at a first try. 

His head fell back, exposing his thick adam’s apple as it thumped in his throat, Mat trying to hide his gulps every time your lips wrapped around him lower and lower. 

You knew just how to please him, swirling your tongue and hollowing your cheeks just at the right minute spots that still took his by surprise every single time.

Mat felt your desperation as you kept taking him down, so eager to please him. For a second, it enchanted him, filling him with gratitude that he had a partner that so badly wanted to destress him. 

However, it was short-lived.

It was not what you wanted, or what he needed.

“Fuck.”

It felt good, his toes slowly beginning to curl as he felt strings of precum coat the back of your throat, but the more he channeled the feeling that he had pushed away for so long, the more restless he became.

Every time you gagged, your muscles would clench around him, shocking him with exhilarating stimulation.

“Sit up. Now.” he said, strictly, jumping out of his experience. You tentatively moved away from him, the only thing connecting you two now being a sloppy trail of saliva.

“Baby, I-, I-...” you said, uncertainly.

“You what? Hmm?” he asked, undressing as you stared at him dumbfounded. 

Throughout the years, Mat had never sounded so stern in the bedroom as he did now. 

“You asked for angry Mat, didn’t you?” he continued, tapping your head demeaningly in an effort to sit you up. “Beggars can’t be choosers, doll.”

The register in his voice was forceful and humiliating enough to send your desire running down the inside of your thighs, his muscular hands working on practically ripping your clothes off so harshly that he had thrown you off balance a couple of times.

Your heart began to race in anticipation as he silently threw the half-trashed garments through the room. 

He was decisive, precise in his actions, and it made you slightly trepid.

Prolepsis and nerves mixing acidly in your stomach; you knew you had the choice to revoke consent anytime, but you were grounded enough to know that Mat was the safest man to do this with.

Apart from working up to it for months now, and seeing him slowly come out of his shell and let go further every time he got you to himself behind closed doors, you knew how much you wanted this. 

Your body knew as well, your blood rushing rapidly to your cunt as he kept grazing against your skin, snapping the back of your bra before discarding it mindlessly. You could feel the flames of his subjugated feelings simmering again, coming to the surface the more he got out of his head and into his body, his breath becoming deeper and hotter against your skin, breathing out frustration with low, vibrational groans.

“Get on the bed.” he yapped as soon as you were fully naked, his hand pushing you a tad bit too potently onto your bed; so much so that you naturally rested your sweaty limbs on the blankets on all fours.

“Look how wet you are. You’re not embarrassed?” he spit out, running his finger up your slit sloppily as he set himself behind you. “I haven’t even touched you, Y/N.”

He was just a hair over the line, authoritative in his colloquy and pinpointing his acts precisely to get you where he wanted. 

He didn’t care to run himself on your slit, not tonight, his cock still dripping with your thick spit. He thrusted entirely into you, his pounding head coming in contact with your cervix instantly, making your body barely jolt forward. 

“You should be fucking ashamed, Y/N, not moaning.” he barked, as he began to move painfully slow. His thick length, running in and out of your tight walls at a lethargic pace. 

Still, feeling every inch so powerfully split you apart with no preparation, the ridges of his member and his veins skimming your engorged insides ripped moans out of you like never before. 

“You just love being a fuck toy for me, don’t you.” he said, roughly intensifying the grip on your hips as he gradually sped up his movements. He sounded just as rough, doing his best to hold back any signs of satisfaction, but it wasn’t easy. He had made you into a mess so quickly and it mostly came down to his demeanor. 

Ever since he met you, he knew he’d treat you right and respectfully, only you.

He never cared to seem friendly to other girls, truthfully; because he had you. 

The only girl that had naturally commanded such a soft love and tenderness out of him. It was almost ironic to him how the tougher he was with you in between the sheets, the more you melted. 

And god, did he love to see you like this.

Spread vulnerably and already on the brink after a handful of thrusts. 

It drove him mad, struggling to keep any self-control just to have you on a tittering edge. 

But feeling you drip around him, your yearning for him ebbing and flowing out of your pussy as it mixed with the spit that you’d left on his cock, now all of it mixing and coating both of you. 

“Yeah, my little doll.” he said, masking his exasperation as he found a steady rhythm that made your ass recoil delightfully against his pelvis, the chiseled V that framed his cock pounding hard into your flesh as you began to see stars.

Your mouth was stuck open, wanting his call out his name miserably but finding it impossible as the tension kept building within you, tightening your pussy all around and sending shivers down his back as his legs began to tense, inch by inch.

He groaned deeply, squeezing his eyes shut and striving to pivot on that feeling he adored so much, all the sensations that came with being buried deep inside you. 

But all he found was that anger.

The emotion he had tried to leave at work, to get past.

The one that you had noticed.

For good reason, because it was unignorable.

And so he focused on it, the frustration that he had accumulated for months beginning to expand and find its way insidiously through every vessel, every corner of his being. His jaw clenched, the more he let it take over him, the more pleasure would grow, passing from you to him and burning brightly in his belly.

The hinges of the bed creaked and slammed against the wall, his bedframe scratching against his beloved wooden floor as his ears were blessed with your saccharine moans, leaving you unexpectedly and unplanned. 

Your body knew how to take him precisely as his thrusts moved you forward, encouraging all the natural sounds to come out of you instinctively. 

He was afraid that if he let go of your hips that he would lose it. 

He was afraid that he’d pound you right into the mattress; instead, he had a set intention to make this last, to see how far he could take you.

Mat had never heard you sound so beautiful, he thought, just as his rage came to a peak; he could feel his joints begin to sore as he gave it his all, unwilling to stop and let go, fully zoned into unloading his stress. 

He never knew it would bring you so much bliss as he looked down and saw the consequences, heavenly squelching echoing against his growls. He knew you were losing it, micro mannerisms in your body letting him see that you were reaching your orgasm hastily. 

He didn’t need to see your face.

He knew that that familiar blush had knocked at your door, covering your cheeks expansively as your moaning got more high-pitched and frenetic, your pussy twitching around his moving cock. 

“Slow down, you’re making a fucking mess.” he commanded, smugly knowing it would allow it to rip through you, just as it did. 

His knuckles turned white just as yours did, the grip on your sheets fatally unyielding as you let go, coming over Mat. 

The pleasure sparking every synapse in your brain, the cozy feeling flashing through you over and over again as he kept fucking, still roughly and aggressively. 

“You’re fucking gushing.” he said, brave enough to let a hand come down, hard on your ass. The nonchalant tone of disgust in his voice made your whole body light up, tiny bumps forming on your skin at his words as you began to come down from your orgasm.

Mat kept relentlessly, only speeding up, just edging at the border of being too much. As he hit the same spot over and over again, forcefully, your limbs became weak, succumbing to the tremoring that Mat was sending through your system. 

The more you came on him, the more degrading he’d become, periodically spitting onto your core. You knew it wasn’t for any functional purpose more than for humiliating pleasure, giving you everything you craved and more. You couldn’t ask for more, his groans and insults filling up the room; however, the needier you acted, the more Mat would crack under you. 

And the more you pretended you didn’t notice it, the harder your eyes would roll back. 

“You’re so fucking loud, god damn. I’d tell you to shut up, but I know you can’t do it, you’re so heated up.”

Your muscles started to twitch faintly as he snuck his hand around you to rub your clit vigorously, pushing against your skin with sadistic pressure. As much as you tried to get any words of warning out, your body betrayed you, falling pathetically flush against the mattress, the only thing leaving you a whimper. 

The movement wasn’t surprising to you; you had noticed the build-up and distress signals a while ago but had stupidly given in to the thrill instead. 

For Mat, however, it was a different story.

Seeing you tremble against his milky sheets, writhing around slowly and whimpering had him worried immediately. He pulled out swiftly before turning you around.

Thankfully, your eyes found each other, giving him an encouraging sign of lucidity from you.

“Look into my eyes. Are you okay?” he said, clenching his fingers underneath your chin. 

“M’kay.” 

Through blurry vision, you were able to find his dark gaze, regardless of how he was touching your face. The grip on your cheek was so protective and yet you couldn’t ignore the hedonism in his touch.

“What is it? I’m not going to keep fucking you if you’re lying to me.” he said, harshly.

Your brain had melted, completely caved into him, his energy and touch that had brought you to this place so quickly. The unfamiliar floaty feeling neighbored you as you began to tranquilize your boyfriend.

“I’m not lying.” you muttered lazily, gaining enough strength to prop yourself up on your elbows, your nose now touching his. “It just feels so good, Mat.”

Your confession took Mat by surprise. 

His worst fear was taking it all too far, unwillingly hurting you in any way, whether that be physically or otherwise. 

All the same, here you were, in all of your splendor under him, shaking from pleasure. 

It didn’t take long to realize that perhaps he had induced some sort of high, if that was possible.

“You need a kiss?” he asked, his eyes still diligently studying your face. “You need a kiss, don’t you, yeah, come here.”

It wasn’t frenzied or fiery, and still, it told him everything he needed to know.

“That’s all? Better?” he looked at you once more, running his mental checklist.

Eyes were good, skin not too flushed, she can kiss normally, and speak. Not dehydrated or pale.

“Much better.”

The transparency in your speech set in stone what he had thought of.

The words that so easily came out of him, his mannerisms and gestures had sent you haywire, quivering with vibrant intensity, the bliss forcing its way out of your pores, steaming from your skin.

“Good job.” he coaxed, mentally patting himself on the back with a smirk as you fell back down onto the cloudy mattress with a dreamy sigh, a hazy look fixated on him.

Drunk on pleasure, he thought, snickering.

“I bet you feel so dirty, don’t you?” Mat said, his chest heaving with warm sweat dripping from his stubble down onto his pecs. Vulnerability surrounded you both, your eyes running upon each other’s bodies. Taking this moment to pause made sure you were attending to each other fully and completely, the desire still consuming you thoroughly. In the quietness, Mat took his fingers and began running them down your abdomen, barely grazing your clammy skin. 

“I asked you a question, doll.” he said, moving his touch again up your centerline. You could only nod, his fingertips electrifying you with eternal bliss as they found their resting place on your plump lips. 

“Are you having trouble with your words?” he said, breathlessly mocking you before you stuck your tongue out, soaking his digits by letting them sit on you. 

After all, Mat didn’t think he could break any further. 

Until then. 

Seeing you embrace the feeling gave him the reassurance that he was subconsciously looking for.

He was incredulous at your actions, sticking your tongue out fully, with no shame or guilt, and only for him. 

Letting your spit absorb into his calloused skin, while more saliva pooled visibly at the back of your throat. 

Disgustingly.

And it made his throbbing cock twitch, heedlessly slapping against your cunt in a wet motion. 

“Fuck, angel.”

He pushed it further by entering your mouth and your pussy simultaneously, a choked moan surrounding his hand as your eyes flew back.

“That’s my fucking girl.” he said, his eyebrows furrowed as he wasted no time in his fucking, militantly filling you fully again. “Doesn’t it make you feel so good, baby?”

“It does.” you moaned, obediently answering his every question and request.

“Doesn’t it feel so fucking good to be so dirty for me?” he asked, flush taking over him again. 

It was so delightful to see him let go, fully, just as he thought the same about you. 

“So nasty, such a sick little girl.” he continued. “Turn around, come here.” 

Mat sat back on his heels, guiding you to sit on his cock. 

The will was stronger than logic, your thighs quivering as you sunk down on him. 

Mat always hit deeper at this angle, his cock bulging out on your lower tummy as your ass came flush with him.

“You’re so bad, so fucking bad. And look at you, you don’t even care.” he said, moving your hair to the side as his lips grazed against the shell of your ear.

“What would everyone say if they saw you acting like this, huh? Begging to take me after I’m so mean to you. After I slap you, choke you, and spit on you. After I say the most degrading fucking shit to you, you don’t care. It makes your panties drenched, doesn’t it?”

Mat’s hands ran up past your tummy and found a tight hold on your tits, variating between letting them bounce in his palm and gripping them so desperately that it left marks on you. Your chests moved in synch, up and down with your motions; you let your head fall back on his shoulder as you unavailingly rebounded briskly, tightening just at the perfect moment, when your opening came in touch with the delicious curve between his pelvis and the base of his cock. 

“Just as I fucking thought, you can’t even hold back.” he said, grinding ever so slightly against you. The recognizable feeling started to take over you for the millionth time, candied moans causing Mat to jolt against you unexpectedly and thrust deeper.

“You’re going to cum again, aren’t you?” he asked, slapping one of your breasts. “Your body gives you away so easily, angel face.”

He was solid under you, your loving foundation as more juices ran out of you, covering his thighs in sticky squirt, your whole being quivering in delight with his arms instinctively holding you through it. 

“That’s because you’re mine, yeah?” 

Your eyes, stuck on the ceiling, recognized just how close his face was to yours, gaze fixated on your expression as it furrowed and sweated the incessant orgasm. 

“Yeah, I don’t even have to fucking ask.” 

Mat kept talking, kept grinding, as his hands got more desperate, undecided between all the layers of skin and flesh. The more he focused on you, the more he felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer, and as much as he felt that most of the night, he knew that the simple intemperance that had built inside him was about to burst. 

“Look at you. You need more? You always fucking do.” he coaxed, settling his left hand on your throat as your whole body kept aching, spasming sweetly on top of him. 

Totally uncontrolled. 

Unaware of what liquids were leaving you and what noises you were making. 

Your brain only handling and pining for pleasure. 

More and more. 

“It’s never fucking enough for you, is it? You love it when I cross the line with you, you needy, needy girl.” he said, his grip on your throat tightening slightly enough to make your dotted vision fill with sparkles. 

Your head snapped up as your abdomen contracted, almost painfully sore, finally letting you breathe deeply as your body gave you a second to recuperate. 

Tears involuntarily left the corners of your eyes, perhaps from the delectation of it all, the intensity, the overwhelm, or the tiredness. 

“It feels so, so good. You make me feel so good.” you managed to find the strength to whisper against Mat’s lips before letting yours fall on top of his in a loving kiss. 

“Oh, god, you’re going to make me cum, baby.” 

Mat’s voice quivered, as he stared into you; he had never breathed deeper and yet hyperventilated at the same time, just as he'd never felt so much rage and frustration mixed with pleasure all at once. 

“Like that, like that, like that.” he said, through gritted teeth. “Fucking look at me.” 

He grabbed your chin roughly, your face pouting under his touch in the cutest way, he thought. “Like that, baby, fuck.”

Mat exclaimed loudly as he colvulsed forward, his cum filling your tight hole with a growl so deep that you felt yourself vibrate at the power in his voice. You sloppily kept jumping on his dick, every single muscle of his being flexing in concentration and gratification as his warm seed seeped inside you and overflowed, running down his hips before he had the chance to pull out. 

“Oh, fuck, baby.” he moaned, breathlessly. You finally fell, completely limp, into the puddle that he made you in since the beginning. 

“That’s okay, that’s okay, fall into my arms.” Mat reassured, still firing under you. “You did so good. You were so, so good, angel.”

Mat had enough of a size advantage on you to manhandle you, this time turning you both onto your sides after a couple of quiet moments, keeping his cock warm still inside your folds. 

“I love you, I love you, baby. So much. Thank you, thank you. Come here.” he whispered against you, running his hand through your locks as he pulled you closer to him by your waist. 

“Are you good, baby?” he said, watching you nod with a sweet smile on your face. “Why are you crying?”

“It just felt so good, babe.” you reassured him, turning slightly to play with his shining chain that sat damply on his collarbones. 

“I would never hurt you, yeah? You’re safe with me.” he whispered into your cheek in between kisses. “I got you always, babe. Nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here.”

“I know, baby, I love you.” you said, your eyes into his. “Are you okay, Mat?”

“Oh, baby, yes, yes I’m okay don’t worry. Was I too rough? Too mean? You can tell me, love.”

“No, no, it was perfect.” you repeated. You’d say it as many times as it was needed. 

“Good. You were perfect.” he said. 

You didn’t know, but he thought the same. Reassurance had no limit for him.  

“I see you, I see you fully and I love you, I love everything about you.”

“I love you more, Mat.” you said in between kisses. “Do you feel better now?”

“Oh, baby. So much fucking better.”

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Okay so in the same vein as this post, I want to reality check the people who keep asking (yes I've been this person too, don't @ me) why oh why are Jews the only group leftists are willing to categorically deny self-determination to, and the reason is that most of them are tits deep in Christian supercessionism and don't even know it and have absolutely no desire to change that.

The reason they deny self-determination to Jews is the same reason that they would deny any claim to self-determination of, say, Mormons. If the Mormon church tried to claim Utah because it's the epicenter and birthplace of Mormonism [Edit: apparently the birthplace of Mormonism is western New York and not Utah whoops, but the point stands] and therefore they may as well have an indigenous claim to it, people with brains would rightfully lose their shit.

"But it's a culture too, not just a religion!"

So? Have you met any Mormons and spent time with them? They have their own culture.

"Okay but Jews are an ancient people!"

Please look at the batshit Mormon theological view of the Twelve Tribes and their attitudes towards Native Americans.

"Okay but our history is real!" Yep! These people don't know the first thing about Judaism and Jewish history and don't care.

The reality is that most westerners are hellbent on ignoring Jewish history and ethnoreligious identity because literally all of western civilization is built on Christian supercessionism. Even the people who leave Christianity and hate it (and "all religions") with a violent passion still refuse to engage in learning about Jewish cultural and ethnic history because you cannot do it without engaging the history and texts that they blame as the roots of Christianity and therefore they discredit all of it out of hand.

Obviously they're super fucking wrong about this. You, my fellow yid, and I, both know that. But unraveling the supercessionism means understanding their culpability in Jewish suffering and how they benefit from institutionalized antisemitism.

They are extremely unlikely to do that.

Why? Because if they unlearn Judaism as "just a religion" &/or "Christianity without Jesus" and begin to understand it as an indigenous Levantine group, they then have to reckon with the reality of how much Christianity has stolen from Jews and how much of their hatred for Jews is baked into their western goyische psyche by intentional Christian misunderstandings of Judaism.

Am Yisrael cannot to them be a real people with deep tribal roots and a strong culture, because then they would have to separate Judaism from Christianity and question their assumptions about us and our history.

"But Judaism accepts converts!"

Okay, as someone who "converted," I'm going to say no, not really, actually. Conversion is a convenient shorthand, but it's not accurate. Converting to Judaism means a mutually consensual adoption into the Tribe, after thorough vetting, at least a year of study and perseverance but probably more, and the main, primary promise that you make is about choosing to share the collective fate of the Jewish people. Yes, this adoption and naturalization is through the medium of the spiritual/religious aspect of Jewish identity, but it's way more than that. To be a Jew is to know that I might get stabbed on my walk to shul for being visibly Jewish, and to accept that possibility because the idea of not living as a Jew is worse. Gerim have to be ride or die because a serious chunk of Jewish history is on the "die" side of that equation. You have to be just a little bit nuts voluntarily take on that risk (reminder that I say this as a ger who is happily Jewish) and it must come from a place of profound love for and identification with the Jewish people. And once you join the family, that's it. You don't get to ever stop being a member of the family, even if you become estranged from it.

It's a people, with a deep history and culture, and anyone who joins it takes on both. Obviously your genetic makeup and ancestry don't change, but everything else does.

Understanding that major difference in Judaism in a serious way means that they would have to let go of their world view that their religion and culture are separate, that Christianity intentionally divorced faith from culture in order to acquire as many converts as possible, and then begin to understand how Christianity has shaped their understanding of culture, tradition, what religion is, ethics, and values. And they would have to then make an effort to separate their understanding of Judaism and what they think they know about us from Christianity, however they do or don't relate to it.

[pinksturniolo]

Biggest Fan: Part Three

Chris Sturniolo x Fem Reader

Summary: The one in which a fan gets rear ended in a car accident by none other than Christopher Sturniolo during her stay in Los Angeles.

A/N: This is my first series I will be publishing on here! There will most likely be 3 or 4 parts. I hope you like it and I’m really excited to share with you all. :)

Content Warnings: smut, oral receiving/giving, fingering, raw penetration, swearing, throat fucking, bondage (if you are not comfortable with that please don’t read), mentions of a head injuries, mentions of a car accident

word count: 4,423

side note: sorry for the long wait!! it was a crazy day lol but here it is <3

inspired by this song:

You ended up needing three stitches.

Apparently, you had underestimated the cut on your forehead and if it wasn’t for Isabel, you would’ve just left it with the bandage Chris had put on for you. After you left the triplets house, she insisted that you go to an urgent care and get it checked out. You explained the details of the whole night to her, starting from when you left your hotel room to get Wendy’s up until the moment Matt knocked on Chris’ door.

“Holy shit. Our first night in L.A. and you manage to get in a car accident with Chris Sturniolo which ends up in him eating you out? What kind of black magic have you been doing?” Isabel jokes as you look out the car window, avoiding eye contact with her. You were on the way back to your hotel after leaving the urgent care. You groan, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.  “Let’s never talk about this again, please.” You reply.

At the same time, your phone rings, Chris’ name flashing across the screen. Your heart immediately jumps, and you look at Isabel in fear, showing her the name.

“Oh my god. Answer it!” She says, her eyes wide, glancing at you and to the road, trying to focus on driving.

“Fuck no! I cannot talk to him right now… How did he even get my number?” You wonder aloud. The call goes to voicemail and almost immediately after, you receive 2 text messages from him.

Hey. I got your number from Matt. Just wanted to make sure you’re good.

He called the tow place so they could get your tire fixed and take it to your hotel. Lmk when they drop it off.

You read the messages but don’t reply, putting your phone back down and leaning back in your seat. Exhaustion was beginning to set in. You hadn’t slept in almost 24 hours. “Why didn’t you answer?” Isabel asks.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to him… I just feel utterly mortified from what happened. It was an amazing night, don’t get me wrong. He’s cool as fuck. I guess I’m just being insecure, but I feel embarrassed about it. It’s not like me to do one-night stands. What if he just regrets it?” You tell her, really starting to question everything that happened last night.

 “Y/N. Stop. You seriously need to get out of your head and give yourself some credit. He’s obviously interested in you if he’s calling and texting you. You’re hot okay. Any guy would want you.” She says, making you smile.

“Besides, we came to L.A. for a reason, right? To let loose and have fun. This is best case scenario Y/N, might as well make the most of it.” She adds, turning into the hotel parking lot.

Isabel was one your best friends, one of the reasons being she always gave the best advice and knew what you needed to hear while not sugar coating anything. You had always appreciated her for that. She parks and you both unbuckle your seatbelts, grabbing your things and getting out of the car. “You know what, you’re right. I need to stop overthinking things so much.” You say as you walk into the hotel lobby, getting into the elevator. She smiles at you and gives you a hug. “Exactly.” She replies. You both head to your rooms and once you hit the bed, you knock out, unable to keep your eyes open for one more second.

When you finally wake up, it’s 6 p.m., the sun starting to set outside. You had slept the whole day. You yawn and stretch, getting out of your bed and heading to the shower so you could wake up.

You still have Chris’ clothes on and can smell the scent of his cologne lingering as you take them off. You remember that your wet clothes are still in a pile on his bathroom floor, silently cursing to yourself for forgetting them there. Now you had a reason to see him again.

You decide to go wash his clothes at the hotel laundry mat once you finish in the shower. You still haven’t called or texted him back, a feeling of guilt washing over you. You know that you should, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it yet. What were you so afraid of?

You were afraid of how good it felt being with him. The connection you felt scared you and you hadn’t even gone all the way with him. But you couldn’t get him out of your head. Last night played over and over in your head like a broken record.

The way he made you laugh. The lustful look in his eyes. The feeling of his hands gripping your waist. The way his lips felt on your neck. The feeling of his hair tickling the insides of your thighs as he licked and sucked and fingered you until you were whimpering his name. The way his voice sounded…

“Anything to get you in bed next to me, princess.”

“You look so pretty like this.”

“Cum for me sweetheart.”

His words played repeatedly in your head as you lay in your bed, a movie playing on the tv, but you couldn’t pay attention. All you could think about was him. You burned a hole into your phone as you stared at it.

Stop being a pussy. Just call him. You think, picking up your phone and dialing his number.

Your heart races as it rings, and you almost change your mind and hang up at the last minute when he finally picks up. “Y/N?” He says. “Hey.” You respond, the cheesiest grin appearing on your face the minute you hear him say your name.

“I was starting to think you ghosted me.”

“Well, I actually was until I remembered you still have my clothes and I have yours.”

“Funny joke. I washed your clothes earlier, you can come get them anytime. Unless you want me to bring them to you?”

“Uh… I’ll let you know. Me and my friends planned a hiking trip for tomorrow.”

“…. Okay. No worries. Hey, did you get your car back?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you so much for that, and please tell Nick and Matt thank you for me as well.”

“Of course. How’s the cut?”

“I actually ended up going to urgent care and getting three stitches. But they were pretty small, it was no big deal.”

“Damn. I’m sorry, Y/N. I knew we should’ve called the ambulance.”

“Chris, it’s okay, I promise. How’s the Kia? I was too in shock to even ask last night.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. The bumper is a little messed up and one of the lights broke but I think your car ended up taking most of the damage… Sorry again.”

“Well at least it’s not worse. You do owe me a frosty though.”

“Hm, I would argue a McFlurry makes up for it way better.”

You and Chris end up talking and laughing almost the whole night about anything and everything. Everything except the things that occurred in his bed. You’re too hesitant to bring it up and he seems to take the hint, not mentioning it either.

The next day, you and your friends take a trip up to Big Bear, hiking for most of the day. You enjoy the views and spending time with them. You still can’t help but realize that you’re not a hundred percent in the moment, counting the minutes until you could get back to the city and talk to Chris again.

Chris’ mind hadn’t stopped racing since the morning you left his house. His heart ached as he watched your friend drive off with you in the passenger seat, feeling like a love drunk fool.

He immediately asked Matt for your number from when you had exchanged information after the accident, a knowing look in his eye when he gave it to him. “Gonna ask her on a date or what?” Matt teased him, which he ignored completely.

“Don’t pretend like I didn’t hear some interesting noises coming from your room last night!” He shouts as Chris runs downstairs to be alone in his room.

His heart sank when you didn’t answer his call and he chalked it up to the fact that you were probably just tired and needed sleep. Which he desperately needed as well but he couldn’t help and wait for you to text or call him back as he made himself busy, cleaning up his room and washing your clothes when he found them still lying on his bathroom floor.

After a couple hours passed though, he lost hope of getting your phone call and finally laid down, deciding he should get some rest. He tossed and turned for a while though, unable to get the memory of last night out of his head.

The look in your eyes when you told him to touch you. The way your lips felt on his, your hands in his hair. The sweet sounds you made as he tasted you. The way you clenched around his fingers as he made you orgasm, the way his name sounded as you screamed it.

Fuck. He was down bad and he knew it.

There was an infectious energy between you two and he craved more of it. He finally fell asleep thinking of you and when he woke up, the sun was setting.

Matt and Nick forced him to come out of his room and eat something. He talked with them for a while, avoiding mentioning you. He took a shower and was about to turn on a TV show to try and get his mind off you when you called. He couldn’t help the goofy smile that plastered his face as he answered, grateful to hear your voice again.

Hours later that night, when you and him had finally hung up, he already knew. It had only been a day, but he just knew he wanted more time with you, to take care of you in all the ways you deserved. When you told him you would be on a hiking trip the next day and wouldn’t have service to text him, he couldn’t ignore the way it made his heart sink.

He was falling for you, head over heels.

As soon as you got back to your hotel, you were exhausted and your feet ached. You took a shower and lay down, sending Chris a quick text message.

Hey :) Just got home, I think my feet might fall off lol. It was great though, I’ll send you pictures in the morning. Sorry I can’t talk tonight but call me when you wake up!

The next few days passed incredibly fast. Chris had to go to Boston unfortunately, but he told you he would be back the day before you left to go back home.

You and your friends spent time at the beach, walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame, danced at the club, and did all the things you had came to do. It truly was the best vacation you had been on.

You and Chris texted nonstop and stayed up talking on the phone when you could. He was one of the sweetest people you had met, and the more you got to know him, the more you wanted nothing but to spend every second with him. How could your feelings grow so strong in such a short time?

The night Chris came back home, you were in your hotel room, most of your belongings packed and ready to go. You were in your nicest set of silk pajamas, brushing your hair for the hundredth time as you waited for him to arrive.

You both agreed that he would come over with the clothes you left at his house, and you could give him his. But you both knew it was more than that. There was unfinished business, and as eager as you were to finish it, you were still a bit nervous.

Chris arrived a few minutes earlier then he said he would, a soft knock sounding at your door that summoned those damn butterflies again.

You took a deep breath, opening the door to reveal him there, cheeky smile as always, both of his arms resting on the door frame above him. He was wearing jeans and one of his fresh love t-shirts. Does this man ever not look good?

“Fancy seeing you here.” He says as you step aside, allowing him to walk in. You laugh, going over to grab his clothes for him.

He sets a bag with yours in it on the table in your room. As you go to hand the clothes to him, he doesn’t take them right away.

You hold it out awkwardly, an expectant look on your face as he raises his eyebrows at you. “Are you not gonna take them?” You ask, lowering your arms down.

“Is that it then?” He responds, giving you a look that has your heart starting to beat faster. “What do you mean?” You say, dragging it out longer. You couldn’t just jump his bones the minute he walked in, could you?

“Don’t play stupid with me, Y/N.” He speaks lowly, making your heart feel like it’s doing flips inside your chest. He pushes the clothes in your arms down to the floor and moves closer to you, now inches from your face.

“Do you know how crazy you drive me? I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left.” He says quietly. You feel his breath across your lips as he moves even closer, smirking at the obvious effect he has on you, as a deep blush fans across your face. He places his hands on either side of your face, his thumbs stroking softly. “You have no idea of all the things I wanna do to you…” he breaths, his lips brushing yours. “Then show me.” You whisper.

He wastes no time placing his lips on yours as you kiss him back, your mouth opening to allow his tongue to tangle with yours as your arms go up to wrap around his neck. He moves his hands down to your hips as they slip under your thin shirt, the feeling of his hands on your bare skin giving you tingles down your spine. He slips his hands to your ass, squeezing tightly, making you moan in his mouth. “Jump.” He instructs and as you do, he picks you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

He walks towards your bed, your lips still joined in a sloppy kiss, setting you down on it and hovering on top of you.  You can’t control the moans that slip from your mouth as he leaves spongy, wet kisses down your neck and chest, removing your shirt and his in the process, and you allow your body to respond to his commands, and to his satisfaction he discovers you don’t have a bra on so he can leave more love bites on your breasts.

He takes his time sucking on them and rolling his tongue slowly over each of your nipples. You wrap your legs around his waist, feeling how hard he is, and you can’t help but buck your hips up into his, causing him to moan out, his mouth travelling back up to your neck which seems to be his favorite spot to kiss you.

He notices the hickeys he left on you the first night you spent together and smirks at you as he pulls his head up, whispering in your ear. “Do you like seeing my marks on you? Does it make you wet knowing that you’re all mine baby?” Fuck. This man will be the death of you.

“Yes, Chris.” You breath out, again bucking your hips up onto his rock hard dick currently straining through his jeans. He hums in satisfaction, grabbing your wrists in one hand and holding them above your head. “If you keep doing that, I’m not gonna last.” He warns, his fucked-out expression as he looks at you, making your already wet center soaking.

Of course, this makes you grind on him again, the feeling of it too good to stop. He grips your wrists tighter in his hand, undoing his belt and taking it off his jeans. He then wraps it around your wrists, belting them together tight enough to where you can’t move them but not too tight to where it’s uncomfortable for you.

“Is this okay?” he asks, pausing to look into your eyes, searching for any hesitation. “Yes.” You respond, your heart racing and pussy throbbing so much it almost hurts. “Promise? Just tell me to stop if you need me to.” He says, sliding your silk shorts down your legs, discarding them on the floor.

“Yes, I promise.” You say back, anticipating his next move. He bites his lips, his eyes taking in your naked body, your lace panties the only thing left. “So beautiful, princess. Just for me.” he whispers as if he’s saying it to himself, but you hear him and you think you just might pass out from how sweet it sounds.

He pulls you slightly down the bed, your hips on the edge as he leans down, knees hitting the floor, his head now level between your legs.

His blue eyes burn into yours as he wraps your thighs around his face and wastes no time pulling your panties aside to let his tongue slick through your wet folds, up and down, side to side on your clit and then back down to tease your entrance. You cry out loudly, throwing your head back and squeeze your thighs around his head relentlessly which only makes him hold you in place even tighter, ensuring you’ll have more bruises in the morning.

The position he has you in and the constriction of his belt around your wrists is enough to send you over the edge. The feeling is indescribable, and your whole body is ablaze with euphoria.

It doesn’t take long until you feel yourself close to an orgasm as he moans dirty words against you. “Fuck baby, I missed you. I touched myself so many times remembering how good you taste.” His voice sends deep vibrations through you. “Are you gonna cum for me princess? I want you to cum all over my tongue.”

He then grabs your hips, guiding them to thrust against his face as you ride his tongue. “Oh my God, yes Chris!” You scream, letting him use your body to get off on him.  You cum hard, your body shaking as you continue to moan his name. He helps you ride it out, his hands gently rubbing your legs and thighs and he gets up to take the belt off, rubbing your wrists as well.

He kisses you softly as you catch your breath. You feel fueled by lust, the need to make him moan your name strong when you look him in the eyes, an idea popping into your head. “I want you fuck my throat.” You say, the surprise in his face makes you laugh but you’re serious as you sit up to unbutton his jeans and pull them down his legs.

“Yeah?” He responds, a playful fire in his eyes. “Mhm.” You hum, biting your lip and the innocent look in your eyes almost makes him lose it then and there. He stands up at the edge of the bed and you turn your body the opposite way, laying down flat so now your head hangs off the edge.  

“Tap my thigh if you need me to stop, okay?” He says, his breathing heavy as he pulls his dick out of his boxers and from the view you currently have, it looks huge, veins running along his shaft and precum oozing out of the tip. He brings it to your mouth, and you open to wrap your lips around it, your tongue swirling around him teasingly. “Fuck…” He whimpers lowly, trying to contain himself as he slides it further slowly, your saliva coating him.

 Your cheeks hollow around him and he pauses halfway, letting you adjust to him. He waits a few seconds before going deeper, brushing the back of your throat, making you slightly gag. He moans loudly at the feeling, which makes you hum around him. You are enjoying every minute of this.

He starts to slowly thrust himself down your throat, careful to pause every now and then when he feels you gag. But you quickly get used to it and reach up to grab his hand, motioning for him to continue. He picks up the pace, loud moans now leaving his mouth which only makes you wetter. “Fuuuuckk… Y/N. Feels so good.” He breathes out. He wants to cum down your throat so badly but at this point he needs to feel himself inside you more than he’s ever needed anything.

He pulls out and helps you back into an upright position on the bed, laying you down against the pillows. “Please tell me you’re on the pill.” He says, pulling your panties off and discarding them somewhere along with the pile of clothes forming on the floor. “Yes.” You respond, grateful you were because you wanted nothing more than to feel his bare skin against yours.

He takes your legs, spreading you open for him again and rubs his cock against your entrance teasingly. “Please, Chris. I need you.” You whimper, gripping his arms and wrapping your legs around his lower back. “No need to beg, sweetheart. You got me.” He responds as he pushes himself inside you.

You both moan in ecstasy at the feeling, your eyes rolling back as he continues to sink himself all the way into you. “God, Chris…” You say, a slight burning as you adjust to his size.

He groans loudy, thrusting into you slowly, the sight of your blissful expression and the way your tits bounce with each movement almost sending him over the edge. You meet his hips with yours each time, uncontrollable moans pouring out of you. “I love making you sound like this baby. Tell me only I can make you feel this good, Y/N.” He says, his breath shaky but his grip on your legs strong.

“Yes, Chris. Only you can do this to me. Feels so- ah- so gooood.” You respond, at this point ready to do anything he says. The feeling of him inside you is like no other. He moves harder and faster, hitting your g spot with each thrust.

You clench around him and he feels your wetness drip down his cock. The pleasure you give him is unmatched but the way he feels being close to you like this, your bodies becoming one has him in a state of bliss. He knows you’re close and wraps you tighter around him, his face falling to yours, one hand pressing into the mattress, the other hand pressing down slightly on your abdomen.

You cry out at the sensation, wrapping your arms around his neck and tugging his hair.

“Can you cum again for me baby? Please… I wanna fill you up while you scream my name.” He says, his hips slamming into you, pounding you over and over again. “Please baby. Please cum for me.” The needy sound in his voice and the pace of his thrusting brings you to your second orgasm, clenching around his cock and releasing all over him.

Your whimpers are swallowed by him as he kisses you, his orgasm shortly coming after yours, spilling himself inside you. You both gasp for air, completely spent, and he stays there for a few minutes, holding you as you both catch your breath.

Once you both have settled down, he grabs a damp towel and cleans you up. You lay together, Chris rubbing circles on your back as you hold him. “Goodnight, princess.” He whispers and you both drift off to a peaceful sleep.

The next morning you and Chris spend exploring each other’s bodies in every possible way in the time you have left before you have to check out of the hotel.

Under the sheets, he covers every inch of your body in kisses. In the shower, he fucks you up against the glass, pulling your wet hair from behind you. On the couch, you ride him until your legs shake, while he whimpers in your ear.

When it came time for you to leave, you tried not to cry but it was bittersweet. You and Chris had shared something special, and you both agreed there was more between you two then just amazing sex.

He made you promise to call and text him anytime you could, and the good thing was, your hometown was on the East Coast which would make it easier for you guys to meet up when he visited Boston.

And you kept your promises while he kept his, each time you got to see each other was better than the last. You couldn’t get enough of each other, and he made you feel so comfortable in your own skin. You silently thanked the universe for putting the events of that night of the accident into motion because if you hadn’t met Chris, life wouldn’t be the same.

chris & y/n:

a/n: and there it is!!! my first series completed :) pleaseeee let me know what yall thought! matt series next???

[snufflesw]

The Reader learns about Aqua's newest plan to destroy his father.

Aquamarine Hoshino x Reader (gender neutral) One Shot. Word Count { 1241 } Spoilers for Chapter 148!

You're So Crazy, Manipulate Me. Title is lyrics derived from the song "Ecstacy" by SUICIDAL-IDOL .

You traversed the sparse wooden area. The summer wind was warm against your bare arms and the smell of the sea filled your nostrils. The seawater clung to your hair after swimming. Now, however, completely dry to search for the person who’d suddenly disappeared from the beach.

    The boy sat near the edge of a cliff, watching the sun as it was beginning to set.

    ”There you are”, you said, loud enough for Aqua to hear, and walked up to him.

    He looked up at you and his blue eyes met yours for a second.

    ”What are you doing here?” he said as you sat down next to him. You wrapped your arms around your legs and hugged them close to your chest.

    ”I noticed you left and went to find you”, you said and wiggled your toes to take off the sandals irritating your feet.

    Aqua looked back to the sunset.

    ”Just needed some time to think, that's all”, he said.

    You could almost see the cogwheels turning in Aquamarine Hoshino’s head as the sun reflected in his eyes. His expression was similar to that day the two of you first met; lost in thought. Scheming.

    You sighed and rested your head on your knees, ”We’re close now. The movie’s almost finished and we’ll have him. He’ll be ruined, once and for all. You’ll have your revenge.”

    Aqua bit his lip, ”But what if that’s not enough? What if the movie’s not enough?”

    You raised an eyebrow at his statement. He’d been so certain before, almost to a horrifying degree, that the movie would be the thing to put Hikaru Kamiki in an early grave; his scheming and heinous acts would be revealed for the whole world to see. He’d have to disappear; go incognito.

    ”What do you mean?” you asked.

    ”Ruining his status wouldn’t be enough to keep him from committing another crime”, Aqua said through gritted teeth. ”We cannot have another Ai-incident happen. His punishment shall be permanent. I want him to be removed completely.”

    Aqua turned slowly towards you as he said the last sentence. His eyes were wide, stars apparent in both despite his fringe covering most of his left eye. It was the eyes of someone who’d had enough; someone who was willing to go to any length to make sure his revenge be executed wholeheartedly. He looked maniacal, insane, beyond repair… and you thought he’d never looked more handsome.

    You chuckled. Aqua’s gaze softened at the reaction.

    ”You’re quite bold by actually telling someone of your desire to kill, Aquamarine”, you couldn’t help but grin.

    Aqua scoffed, ”I believe you of all people should know. You’ve helped me thus far.”

    ”It was our agreement, was it not? You helped me flawlessly exact revenge on my former life’s pathetic excuse for a husband. In return, I vowed to make Aqua Hoshino’s father pay for what he’d done”, the grin curled on your lips. ”So… of course. If you’ve changed the plan to instead kill Hikaru Kamiki, then I’ll happily follow your lead.”

    Aqua stared at you sitting beside him. All he could do was stare at the grin on your lips. The same grin you had on your face once your own revenge had finally been executed. You looked calm, but the grin curling at your lips told another story. It always did.

    He let out a chuckle. Your face was the one to soften this time by the reaction. There was no sign whatsoever of the maniacal grin plastered on your lips a mere second ago.

    ”I’ve never seen that expression from you before”, you raised an eyebrow. ”Only when you’re acting.”

    The genuine smile didn’t leave Aqua’s lips once he stopped chuckling. The residue of laughter was apparent on those lips who had just told you about his plan to murder.

    ”How fortunate I’ve been to find a partner in crime who wouldn’t think twice when it comes to abandoning morals”, he said,

    You blinked.

    ”Akane plans to stop me”, Aqua continued and looked down at the ground. ”Despite everything he’s done.”

    You snorted, ”Her and what army? Last I checked, she’s the only one who even knows the basics of what’s truly going on. I’d like to see her try to stop us.”

    Aqua stared once again at you beside him. Awe, was how he’d explain it. You thought like none he’d ever met before. You were intelligent beyond adequate measures. To have someone going through the same thing; someone to once again be reborn into a younger; someone who wasn’t his sister; someone who wasn’t afraid to get their hands a little bloody. It was as if the Gods had answered his prayers.

    He placed his finger underneath your chin. You looked at him with a brow raised. He gently stroked your chin with his thumb, looking into your unfazed eyes. A small sparkle. He could feel your breath sharply against his lips. You’d mastered the way your eyes worked, but the rest of your body still reacted in the way of a teenager. Featherlight touches did the trick.

    You stared intently into his eyes, never once averting your gaze. He wondered what you saw every time those eyes looked into his. Perhaps you could see his wants, his needs, his desires. You’d seen almost all of them before. Almost.

    Aqua closed the gap between your lips. A jolt of electricity soaring through his body at the connection of your mouths. You tasted like saltwater, and smelled like it too. But underneath the salt lay something addicting. Another scent adorned by your lips on his.

    You didn’t push him away. Instead, you tilted your head to give him the ability to move more freely. His lips grazed over yours and you felt the stinge of what was Aqua Hoshino. His lips were chapped, but they reminded you of the taste of coffee. A bitter taste incredibly difficult to swallow; but one with the power to have someone energised for hours.

    Aqua cupped your cheeks with his hands. Your hair tangled in between his fingers, curled like the grip you were holding on his lips. 

    Breathing was secondary, especially when your cold hands touched the base of his neck. An electric shock. You felt it in your fingertips as you touched the bare skin of his neck. Slowly grazing over his adam’s apple. He shuddered. It wasn’t even cold outside.

    Slowly, but surely, your lungs were greeted by the blissful feeling of oxygen entering your suffocating bodies. Your lips parting from one another’s, panting heavily by the lack of air for who knows how long. Time seemed to have stood still; the sun slowly setting in the horizon.

    You felt Aqua’s heavy breaths on your lips. His forehead rested gently against yours. Your hair was still tangled between his delicate fingers. Intertwined.

    ”That was very out of character of you”, you said in between breaths, grinning ear to ear. ”Are you sure you’re not acting?”

    Aqua’s face was flushed. Yours wasn’t any better.

    ”I’m not an actor”, Aqua said and forced you to come closer with the help of his fingers curled in between the locks of your hair. ”You just make me feel… so many things.”

    You smiled.

    ”All because I said I was going to help you kill your father?”

    Aqua nodded against your forehead, ”Yes.”

    ”How romantic of you, Aquamarine Hoshino.”

It was psychopathic, really. You were both psychopaths.

https://snufflesw.fandom.com/wiki/Home

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride! One of the genderbendy stories, please? Lady Mo, maybe?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

Xuanyu groans and rolls her eyes when Lan Wangji insists on treating her wounds before they continue, but apparently decides she's tested his patience enough for one evening because she says, "Fine," and and begins to untie her robe.

He steps closer and grabs her wrists. "What are you doing?"

She looks up at him and this close he can see the exhaustion lingering in her dark eyes. "You just said you wanted to bandage me up before we left again!"

"You cannot undress in front of," he gestures around them.

She frowns, following his hand, and then looks down at herself. "Oh. Right, forgot that mattered now." He quirks an eyebrow and she blinks, face going a shade paler before she pastes a too wide smile across her face. "Okay, well, the carriage then?" She doesn't wait for him to answer, instead raising her voice to shout, "Sizhui, make sure our guests get something to eat before we get moving."

"Yes, Lady Xuanyu," Sizhui says, more formerly than he would normally, but Sizhui takes after him in that he tends to fall back on formality when he's feeling out of sorts.

Lan Wangji sighs and leads her to the carriage with a hand on the small of her back. His instinct is to grab her arm and drag her there, but she gets squirmy and argumentative, and he's had quite enough of both.

She hops into the carriage, only wincing at little at the sudden motions, and he follows her in, setting down the supplies he'd grabbed and then closing the doors firmly behind them.

"It's really not that bad," she says as she undoes her robes and slides them down her shoulders. "We'll have time to bathe when we arrive at Koi Tower and I could have just cleaned them there. They don't really need bandages."

He ignores her and doesn't let his eyes linger on her breasts even as he gets flash of memory of closing his lips around a small, dark nipple and biting, his tongue running the indents his teeth had left in soft flesh.

"You didn't need to go running off alone," he says, hoping it's dark enough that she doesn't see the flush he can feel crawling up his neck.

She scoffs as he presses a damp cloth against the stab wound between her shoulder and collarbone, cleaning away the tacky blood. "Song Lan needed help and he's my friend."

Lan Wangji wants to ask once again how in the world she knew were Xiao Xingchen was, how she'd been able to lead Song Lan right to him, but one issue at a time. "You could have told us that and we would have helped."

"Uh huh," she says.

He presses down harder than he'd intended and she hisses in pain. He pulls back, grudgingly admitting to himself that she was right. The wound has already closed and the bruises covering her chest have turned a sickly yellow, looking days old rather than hours. He's never seen anyone improve a golden core so quickly before, especially using such dubious methods.

He doesn't want to say the wrong thing, so he gives himself time to gather his thoughts as he wrings out the cloth. "We are not the Mo. Or the Jin."

"Uh, yeah? I noticed," she answers, pulling her robes open even wider to reveal even more bruised skin and the curved slice around her right hip.

"Have you," he asks quietly, keeping his touch gentle as he cleans the blood from thigh. "You are not - you don't have to," he stops, taking a deep breath and pausing his motions so he doesn't accidentally hurt her again. "You are not required to tell me anything that you don't want me to know. However. I am your husband."

"I noticed that too," she says, voice coming out low, and Lan Wangji does not allow himself to be distracted by the fact that he's kneeling over his mostly naked wife, her body small and soft and strong, evening bleeding and bruised.

"Then you should act like it," he returns, and odd reversal of their argument after the waterfall. "In the Lan you are not a bastard daughter but my legitimate wife. If you'd told me you wished to assist Song Lan, I would have helped you, and others would have volunteered to accompany us. You would not have needed to go alone. "

Xuanyu glares at him, somehow even more compelling with the anger brightening her eyes. "I was fine alone. I didn't need you."

"This is not about needing," he says softly, "but about having. Whether you need me or not is irrelevant. You have me. Next time I hope you remember that."

He ties her inner robe together before jumping out of the carriage, leaving her to redress herself. He feels the weight of her gaze on him, but she doesn't say anything.

Lan Wangi sighs, rubbing at his forehead. He drops into the seat next to his brother, noting Sizhui and Jingyi sitting at the same table as their guests and insistently putting more and more food on their plates over their protests. Well, Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen's protests. A-Qing seems quite happy to eat everything put in front of her.

Xichen raises an eyebrow.

"How long did it take Jin Guangyao to trust you?" he asks impulsively, regretting asking almost as soon as it's out of his mouth.

Xichen sighs, "Oh, Wangji," and doesn't answer.

[journey-to-the-attic]

3rd anniversary req 21: [DDVD] levi, satan, beel / babysitting

ao3 link

note: i tried to incorporate most of what the request form said - hope you're happy with this, anon! this one's just precious <3

∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎

“Behave,” Lucifer says sternly, and shuts the door.

Levi exchanges a look with Satan. For some reason, he gets the feeling that Lucifer was talking to them, and not the toddler clinging to the back of Satan’s leg.

He cranes his neck down. IK is already staring wistfully at the door. Satan would probably compare her to a lost kitten; Levi thinks the look is more akin to a sad Lotan.

“Beel’s in the kitchen,” He says to Satan in an undertone, and the two of them hastily adjourn to three-sevenths of a family meeting.

Couldn't Lucifer have picked any other day for whatever fancy reservation he's made for their date? It's clear he doesn't entirely trust the only three babysitters available. He knows this because Lucifer added all three of them to a hastily-made, very secret group chat a few hours ago - to warn them of what would happen if anything went wrong. 

The three of them sit silently around the kitchen table for about five minutes. Finally, Satan clears his throat, and looks at Levi.

“You’re the oldest here,” He says. “You should know what to do.”

Levi grimaces. “Well, I don’t.”

The three of them look to IK, who is sitting solemnly in the head chair. None of them know where Lucifer keeps her booster seat, so she can only just about see over the edge of the table. (IK usually protests about having to use it, so she seems happy with the situation.)

“It can’t be that hard,” Satan mutters, mostly to himself. “If Lucifer can handle it.”

Usually that means no one else can, Levi thinks, but wisely chooses not to say this out loud. But it can’t be that different to what we usually do… right? I mean, I guess we don’t really do the proper care stuff. That’s Zhao’s thing. We just hang out with her…

“Pom-pom,” IK mumbles.

Satan blinks, then tilts his head to the side and leans forward. “Sorry?”

“Pom-pom,” IK repeats, louder this time.

“I don’t… what’s ‘pom-pom’? Is it one of your toys?”

“Hmph,” IK says, then hops down from her chair and toddles out of the kitchen with such authority that none of them think to stop her.

It takes Beel’s phone going off to bring them back to reality. Lucifer has sent them, rather aptly, a parenting book. Satan decides to stay behind to read it while Beel and Levi are sent to wrangle the kid - and figure out what she’s actually after.

IK hasn’t made it far. She still can’t get up the stairs on her own, nor can she open any of the doors without full-body ramming into them, so she’s only managed to make it a little way down the corridor.

“Pom-pom,” She insists when they catch up with her.

“We don’t have pom-pom,” Levi says a little breathlessly, even though he really didn’t go that fast. “Can’t you just tell us what you want?”

IK cannot, apparently. She leads them on a merry chase in about five circles around the ground floor (she kicks every time they try to pick her up) before finally sitting down in a huff in the middle of the living room. Levi’s secretly a little grateful for the chance to rest his legs - this is the most he’s moved in the last month.

“The floor’s cold,” Beel says patiently, attempting to pick her up. IK manages to wiggle cleanly out of his hands and goes straight back to the ground. “Come on, let’s go sit somewhere comfy, okay?”

“Pom-pom,” IK mumbles, beginning to look a little tearful. The look on her face makes it clear: if Lucifer was here, he’d totally know what to do by now. 

It’s, quite frankly, unfair. He’s already good at everything else. Levi had really expected childcare to be the one thing to trip him up.

Situations like these really call for Asmo. Once again, Levi finds himself wondering why in hell he’s here.

“IK,” He tries - unable to muster one of Asmo’s many pet names and resorting instead to sounding as pathetic as possible, in hopes that she’ll take pity on him. “IK, c’mon. Wanna come see Henry? You like Henry.”

Beel tries to pick her up again. IK gives him a severe, uncannily Lucifer-like look, then stubbornly slips down until she's lying flat on her back.

“We need some blocks,” Satan announces, walking into the room with far too much confidence. “Do we have blocks?”

“Of course we don’t,” Levi says miserably, about two minutes away from lying on the floor himself. “Why would we?”

“Then I will go find some blocks,” Satan says decisively, and walks straight back out again.

IK stays on the ground, staring blankly up into the ceiling. She doesn’t look as if she’s throwing a tantrum so much as she looks like she’s lost all hope in the world. It kind of hurts his heart.

He glances up at Beel. His brother’s brow is deeply furrowed in thought. After a moment, he sits down, and carefully pushes his palm underneath IK’s head. If she won’t get up, at least he can give her a pillow.

Satan comes back with a crate that he says Lucifer’s been keeping in his study (which is supposed to be locked right now, but that’s on Lucifer for not using a strong enough charm), and produces a set of patterned blocks that he attempts to gently encourage IK to play with. All IK does is hold them limply.

“Maybe she needs a nap?” Beel suggests, but IK doesn’t seem to like that idea. In fact, after hearing the word, she appears to start deliberately keeping her eyes open for as long as possible out of spite.

Satan looks something up on his phone - steadfastly refusing to call Lucifer - then abruptly hurries off again. He comes back with some cardboard, a ball of wool, and a pair of scissors. IK lifts her head to watch him with interest as he sets about snipping and tying. Finally:

“There you are,” Satan announces triumphantly, and presents IK with a little green ball of fluff. “A pom-pom.”

IK sits up and holds it blankly. Then she shakes her head.

The dismay on Satan’s face would be funny if Levi didn’t feel terrible for him. “No? Is it the wrong colour?”

“Pom-pom,” IK says sadly.

“Fine…” He reaches out to take it back, only for IK to snatch the pom-pom-that-isn't-the-right-pom-pom back. “Hey. I thought you didn’t want it.”

“Mine,” She mumbles stubbornly, and dodges his next grab as well. “Mine!”

“But it’s not your pom-pom, is it?” Satan asks, now beginning to grin. “Come on, give it back.”

“No!” IK scrambles to her knees, then shuffles to hide behind Beel’s broad back. “Mine!”

“I made it! Give it back!”

“NO!”

Clutching the pom-pom, IK jumps to her feet - and, wobbling unsteadily from side to side, full-on sprints out of the living room.

Satan reacts first, almost as if he were expecting it. Hauling himself to his feet, he practically gallops after her, leaving Beel and Levi in stunned silence, still sitting helplessly on the floor.

“I didn’t know she could go that fast,” Levi says after a moment. “Do you think Mammon’s been teaching her?”

“We should probably go after them…” Beel glances down at the crate. “Should we bring the blocks?”

Satan has cornered IK in the library when they catch up with them. Even as they sidle awkwardly through the door, she looks sharply around the room, spots the still-ajar door to Lucifer’s office, and promptly zooms inside. Satan, of course, doesn’t hesitate to do the same.

Levi follows just in time to see him double-evade her around the desk, then shoot forward and sweep her cleanly off the ground - “Got you!”

“No!” IK insists, even though she’s giggling so loudly that the word is barely discernible.

“No? Certainly looks like you’re— ow!”

Something has flown out of Lucifer’s desk and propelled itself directly into Satan’s face - so hard that he’s shoved backwards into a cabinet and knocks a bottle off its stand. IK does not help things grabbing a fistful of his hair to keep herself steady.

“What the—” On closer inspection, the thing that came out of the desk appears to be a little stuffed pigeon. As Satan spins around, attempting to regain his bearings, it folds its wings and jabs its little felt beak at his eyes.

“What do we do?!” Levi yelps, hands braced to do something, though he hasn’t the faintest idea what.

IK isn’t giggling so much as she is wailing now - Satan, though still reeling, has enough sense to pass her off to Levi before attempting to wave the pigeon off. His arms windmill around so wildly that it’s only a matter of time before he—

“Oof!” Levi manages to shield the back of IK’s head with his hand, but his own nose isn’t so lucky. “Watch where your hands are going!”

“I’m getting attacked!” Satan snarls, and looks one peck away from zapping the pigeon into dust. “Do something!”

“What am I supposed to do?!”

Beel, at this point finally stepping into the situation, clearly has more wits about him than either of them. He surveys the situation, steps forward, and plucks the pigeon cleanly from the air.

It goes straight to ferociously attacking its fingers. Without the momentum of flight on its side, though, its blows are virtually harmless. At this, Levi hesitantly lowers his hand from IK’s head.

“This definitely has Lucifer written all over it,” Satan grunts, a hand pressed over his eye. “Smug bas… ahem. Am I bleeding?”

Levi leans over and peers at his face for a moment. “Nah, you’re good.”

He lowers his hand, but he doesn’t look any less mutinous. “Who gave him the idea of putting toy security in his desk?”

“I don’t think it’s security,” Beel says, holding the pigeon’s head still with one hand and reading its label with the other. “I think it’s a toy for IK. See?”

The company name does check out. That doesn’t explain why it comes to life and attacks people, though.

“Well, it’s not a spell I’ve seen anywhere before, so don’t look at me,” Satan grumbles.

Beel inspects the plush pigeon for another moment, then (still carefully holding it still) holds it out to IK. She looks frightened - but, under his reassuring gaze, slowly reaches out, and bumps a little fist to its beak.

The pigeon immediately stills. Levi would’ve thought he’d just hallucinated the whole thing if it weren’t for the red mark on Satan’s forehead.

“Oh,” says Satan himself, realisation dawning. “He enchanted it. That’s…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but clearly he isn’t angry anymore. Beel gently presses the pigeon into IK’s arms, and it comes briefly to life again to tuck its head lovingly against her cheek.

“That isn’t an easy enchantment,” Satan murmurs, wiping his brow. “He’s probably not done testing it.”

“Looks like it works fine to me,” Levi says, watching IK attempt to feed the pigeon her green pom-pom. “Do you like it, IK?”

“Mmm,” IK says, flapping the pigeon’s wings. The pom-pom falls out of her arms and lands softly on the floor.

She notices its absence after a moment and makes a sound of dismay. Satan huffs, then stoops to pick it up for her.

“At least you like it,” He mutters, passing it back to her. “Are you sure it’s not your pom-pom?”

IK shakes her head seriously. She gazes at him for a moment, then mumbles something and makes a gesture in his general direction. Levi obligingly leans forward.

“What now?” Satan sighs, but ducks down to her level anyway. “Are you going to hit me, too?”

Far from it. IK pats his cheek until he stops frowning, then stretches up to the red mark on his brow and gives it a kiss.

“...oh.”

If Levi didn’t know better, he’d say Satan was dangerously close to tears. His brother clears his throat and offers a slightly shaky smile. “Thanks.”

IK hums, then pulls both pigeon and pom-pom tight to her chest, and tucks her head under Levi’s chin. Before he can stop himself, he lets out a sharp squeak, like a poorly-oiled door.

“I think it’s time for a nap now,” Beel says, watching her with a little smile. “Let’s go.”

“Okay,” He agrees, voice quivering, and follows him out of the office. Satan stays behind briefly to shut the drawer the pigeon flew out of, but doesn’t bother re-locking the door.

The crate of toys is still sitting in the middle of the library. Levi gingerly lowers himself into an armchair and lets IK figure out how she wants to sleep; Beel sits down on the floor directly opposite him and contents himself with watching her.

Satan stands silently for a while, then settles beside the toy crate and starts methodically stacking the blocks himself. Levi watches him, too afraid of disturbing IK to move.

“She’ll probably be hungry when she wakes up,” says Beel, setting his chin on his knees. “I think there are some strawberries left in the kitchen.”

“We need something more substantial than fruit.” Satan sets the final block on his tower, then promptly knocks the whole thing over and starts again. “Sandwiches, maybe…”

IK isn't asleep for long before she abruptly startles awake again. Levi opens his mouth to say something sappy that'd usually come out of Asmo - then quickly realises that something's up. 

"What?" Satan asks, sitting up. 

"I don't..."

IK is practically ramrod-straight in his arms. Her eyes are open, but she stares directly ahead of her, far into the distance.

Beel lifts his head and rises to his knees. "Give her here."

Levi can't do anything but acquiesce. IK doesn't respond at first, but almost as soon as she leaves Levi's arms, she takes in a sharp breath, and begins to whimper. 

"Wait—" Instinctively, he tries to snatch her back, but Beel holds firm. "Why... what's wrong?!"

"Nightmare," says Beel shortly. "Belphie used to do the same thing. Can you go get some water?"

It might be the fastest Levi has ever gone to do something. Beel doesn't get IK to drink it - instead, he dips a finger in, and draws a streak across her forehead. At this, IK pauses, eyes wide. 

Satan darts to pick up the pigeon from where it's fallen to the floor. It begins to move as soon as he presses it to IK's face - fluttering its wings and gently grazing its cheek against hers. Levi imagines he hears it coo. 

"Hi," Beel murmurs, doing the same trick with the water again This time, IK makes a sound of protest. "Don't worry, it's gone now."

IK mumbles something and twists away, attempting to wipe her forehead. Beel smiles and does it for her. "...there. That's how you know she's awake again."

"Bad dream, huh?" Satan clicks his tongue sympathetically, then leans down and kisses her forehead - returning the favour from earlier. "Are you still tired?"

She blinks slowly, then makes a quiet noise of affirmation. Beel nods seriously. "You can sleep again, then. We'll keep you safe, okay? Your dad will be home soon."

"Okay," IK whispers, and closes her eyes again.

———

Some time later, Belphie gets home. By that weird twin-sense he shares with Beel, he comes straight to the library. Since IK went back to sleep, Levi's taken a turn on the building blocks, for want of something to do. 

“Do you know where IK’s pom-pom is?” Satan asks without looking up from his book.

“Huh?” Belphie drops his bag with a loud yawn. “What d’you mean, where?”

“She wouldn’t stop asking about it.” Levi precariously sets one tower on top of another. “We didn’t know what it was.”

“Oh, she wants pom-pom? That’s easy,” Belphie says with infuriating nonchalance, then wanders across the room, where IK is beginning to stir in Beel’s lap. “Hey, twinkle-star.”

The three of them can only watch in dawning realisation as Belphie crouches down, shifts seamlessly into demon form, then offers the end of his tail like it’s some kind of toy. IK blinks at him, then scrambles up and makes a grab for the fluffy bit at the end.

“Oh.” says Beel a little weakly. “You were talking about Belphie’s tail the whole time?”

“Pom-pom,” IK says happily.

[kennascreepycorner]

My Adoring Phantom - Part 1

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ on repeat: Doomsday - Lizzy McAlpine

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 1,232

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ trigger warnings: death, lowkey stalking

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ summary: Reader dies and meets Wally + the rest of them

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

August 9th, 2012. First day of your freshman year. Your day starts off in your English class. Your outfit consists of a thrifted sweater, with a sherpa lined denim jacket on top. Your black stockings cling to your legs under your green corduroy pencil skirt. To top off the outfit, your feet are covered with a pair of old worn out converse, black leg warmers overlapping on the top of the shoes.

As you make your way to class, you get a sudden chill. You shake it off, continuing to walk. That sudden chill was Wally.

When he saw you, he audibly said “Oh my god.”

Then he started following you. He followed you from class to class, going as far as to sit in on a couple of them just to stare at you. He walked you to class every single day, knowing you weren’t even aware of his existence. But he didn’t care, he got to see you and that’s what mattered to him. He enjoyed spending time with you, even if it was one sided. 

Then May rolled around, and the school year ended, and Wally was alone. But he couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

August 9th, 2013. First day of your sophomore year. The same thing happens all over again, rinse and repeat with your junior year, and now your senior year.

It was January 1st, 2016. Five more months, and he would never see you again.

He is snapped out of his memories by the voice of Charley. 

“You’re thinking of her again, aren’t you?” Charley registers what's going on, realizing his friend is still swooning. 

“Yeah. I can’t help it!” Wally leaned forward on the bleachers, resting his elbows on his knees and lightly intertwining his fingers. 

“There's a very unlikely chance that she’s gonna-” Charley begins, but is cut off in the middle of his sentence by an ear piercing scream. The two ghost boys share a look, and begin searching for where the sound came from.

First, they found Rhonda, who was in the exact same boat as them. The first thing she said upon seeing them was,

“Did you guys hear that?”

Then they figured it would be a good idea to see where the massive mob of students were heading. That would most likely provide answers.

As they come across the scene it is not pretty. As it had turned out, the ‘very unlikely chance’ -in Charleys words- of Y/n’s death, had in fact happened. She had a similar story to Charleys, having died from being allergic to something. Apparently it was a bad allergy too, her body was almost unrecognizable. 

Soon after they arrive, they spot a very frantic, panicked looking girl. She notices them looking at her and immediately runs to them.

“Can you see me?” She’s borderline yelling as she says this, her eyes wide and full of uncertainty. Wally lets himself take the sight of her in. She’s there. And she can see and hear him. 

“Sure can, cherrypop.” Rhonda is the first to speak out of the three. Wally quickly steps forward.

“Ignore her, she’s like that all the time.” He rolls his eyes as he extends a hand to you. 

“Wally Clark. Resident jock.” He flashes his toothy grin at you. You look puzzled for a second, then a look of horror and realization comes across your face. 

“You’re.. Wally Clark? As in, died on the football field in ‘83 Wally Clark?” You look at Rhonda, registering who she is.

“And you’re…” You grab your hair, pulling at it lightly.

“This cannot be happening!” You take a deep breath, and try to compose yourself. 

“I’m dead, aren’t I?” You stare down Wally as you ask this, him being the only one you’ve really spoken to.

“You betcha.” He awkwardly shoves his hands in his letterman jacket pockets. 

Once the four of you got back to the group, it had gotten around there was a new ghost. You’re greeted by Dawn and Mr. Martin as soon as you walk in. You all sit down, Wally grabbing a new chair for you almost immediately. When you sit down, a million questions are thrown at you.

“Whats your name?”

“How old are you?”

“How did you die?” And many more follow after. 

“Guys maybe uh, chill a little.” Wally chuckles as he sees your discomfort. 

“She seems a bit overwhelmed.” Oh what three and a half years of observation will teach you about someone. Wally knows everything about you there is to know. He stole your diary (“It’s not technically stealing.” was how he rationalized it to himself.) and has read it cover to cover at least three times. He had been watching you since the moment he saw you. He knew your body language. You glance at him with a small smile, silently thanking him.

“I’m Y/n,” You begin slowly, cautious at first.

“I was turning 18 in a week, but not anymore I guess. I died from an allergic reaction to blueberries. Someone put them in my food without telling me, I guess, and before I knew it I was here.” You tell your story, eyes not leaving from your fidgeting hands in your lap. 

“So it was murder?” Rhonda asks, not beating around the bush whatsoever.

“Maybe- I don't know, I don't really care.” You shrugged your shoulders,

“I’m dead now, either way.”

The group seemed to be surprised by how fast you had accepted your death.

“Okay! Movie night anyone?” Mr. Martin hurriedly tried to move along the session. 

As night rolled around, you tugged on Wally’s sleeve lightly. You being 5'3 and him being 6’3, he had to look down slightly to talk to you. 

“What’s up?” He perks up as soon as he sees you.

“Where do I sleep?” You ask the question very quietly, as if you’re scared of him. 

“Well, we don’t have to sleep, it comes with the territory of being undead. But if you want to,” He gestures towards the exit of the gym. As you walk down the hall with him, you realize something. 

“My backpack! Stay right here!” You exclaim, and run to the cafeteria. Luckily, when you arrived it was there, safe and sound. You sighed with relief. Then you quickly ran back to Wally, who stood waiting for you. He led you to the teachers lounge, where there was a couch. 

“It’s not much, but it’s something.” He smiles a little while he says this, playing with the gold chain around his neck. This was the first time you had realized it was even there.

“Thank you, Wally. For everything. You’ve been really nice today.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug. He was stunned for a split second, but quickly hugged you back. 

“Of course, I want to make sure you’re comfortable here.” You let go of him after a couple seconds of comfortable silence. 

“Well, good night.” You get up on your tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek, ushering him out of the teachers lounge as soon as your lips disconnect from his face. 

Wally walked away calmly for a second, then when he was sure he was out of your line of sight, he let his excitement grow. He ran down the halls, jumping to slap every door frame and doing heel clicks.

[bonefall]

it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness

Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.

They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?

This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.

I just...

OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.

But it did not stop.

THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.

And yet... it continued.

They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.

A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;

Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.

I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."

Sometimes, even, in "groups."

Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."

Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗

DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous

Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.

[disillusioneddanny]

Whumptober Day 3. "Make it Stop"

Damian let out a huff, he couldn’t believe he was having to do this. But his brother had told him that he was worried about Timothy and that meant that Damian would have to do something about it. Who cares if the entire relationship between his two brothers was strange and made Damian’s head ache something fierce any time he did the mental gymnastics required to think about how this had even happened?

Danyal Al Ghul had been the heir to the Demon’s Head and Damian’s older brother. The man was seven years Damian’s elder and had been everything that Damian had failed to be as an heir. Until his older brother had disappeared off of the face of the planet. Danyal at ten years old had been shoved into the Lazarus Pits by a traitor of Ra’s and his body had never been found. Only for Tim to find him seven years later on his quest to bring Father back from the timestream.

The main issue, though, had been that neither knew of the other’s relation to Damian and had much to Damian’s horror and disgust, fallen in love.

There had been quite a story revolving around Danyal and Timothy and their whirlwind romance to bring their father back to the present time. It also did not help that Danyal had disappeared before ever learning that Bruce Wayne was his biological father, he had never gotten the chance to beat Mother in a fight to get that information.

Damian was still unaware of how Danyal learned about Damian and Bruce. Still, Danyal had made it rather clear when Timothy had brought him back that he was far from interested in being a part of the Wayne family. He had assured Damian that they would always be brothers and had even made a point of getting to know Damian just as he did with Bruce but it was still a strange relationship altogether. It likely had something to do with the fact that he and Timothy had fallen in love with one another. It made Damian’s feelings towards Timothy even more complicated than they had already been. On one hand, he found himself resenting the older boy for stealing yet another person away from Damian, yet on the other hand, he was thankful for Timothy bringing Danyal to him in the first place. Damian had only been three when Danyal had disappeared but he still had strong memories of Danyal and the love that he had provided Damian when no one else in their lives did.

“What are you doing here, Demon Brat?” Timothy muttered, bringing Damian back to the present, back to his current task.

Danyal had asked Damian to check on Timothy for him. He was apparently trapped in another meeting in the Infinite Realms and had been unable to get a hold of Timothy in the last two days. Damian had suspected that his older brother was overreacting but now, looking down at Tim’s disgusting room, Damian supposed that Danyal had reason to worry.

“Danyal,” Damian said simply as he looked over the room once again. Timothy’s vigilante suit lay in a heap on the ground in one corner. Damian counted out fifteen different cups and coffee mugs scattered throughout the bedroom. The room itself smelled stale and slightly of body odor. It was pathetic.

“Well you can tell Danny that I’m fine,” Tim muttered, burying his face in his pillows once more.

Damian clicked his tongue and shook his head. “I cannot do that. Danyal has given me a task,” he said with a sigh.

A soft sob slipped out of Tim’s mouth and Damian found himself almost pitying the seventeen-year-old. He tilted his head to the side, his brows furrowed. “What’s wrong with you?”

Tim let out a curse and rolled onto his back, rubbing the palms of his hands into his eyes roughly. “Nothing, Damian. Nothing that you would understand,” he said with a sigh.

“I’m eleven now, I’ll have you know that I understand a lot,” Damian said in a haughty tone before sitting on the corner of the bed. His relationship with Tim the last year was an odd one, that was one way for him to put it, at least. At the beginning, he had hated Tim and thought of him as an interloper, someone who did not deserve to be a part of Damian’s family. And then not only did Tim bring back Bruce, but he also brought back Danyal and Damian had found that he owed Tim quite a bit. Which made him uncomfortable as well considering he did not like being in the debt of others. Pair that with the fact that Tim had nearly died by Damian’s hands multiple times and Damian did not know how to feel about his older brother. Tim had always been polite, had always kept Damian at an arm's length even when Danyal was over. He always viewed Damian as someone who had to stay on guard around.

And at first, Damian was fine with that. Really he relished in the fact that he made Tim so wary of him. But that started to change when Damian came over to see Danyal more, and started to learn more about Tim during those visits and it had Damian wanting more, in a strange way he didn’t understand. He started to see Tim like his brother, like a friend. Yet he could never get close enough to act on those feelings and it was his own fault that he could not do so. He hated himself for it, hated Tim for it.

Tim let out a huff and Damian took in his brother’s features. The bright red nose, the red-rimmed eyes.

“Have you been crying? Are you injured?” Damian asked, now doing a cursory once-over.

His brother let out a dark chuckle and shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “It’s been, ah, how does Danny put it? A bad brain week?” He suggested and Damian furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean?”

Tim sucked in a breath before running a hand through his greasy black locks. “You know what depression is, yeah? B has gone over mental health issues with you?”

Damian nodded once, still watching his brother with worried eyes. “Yes, it’s a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. It affects how you feel, think, and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living,” Damian recited dutifully and winced as the snort that came from the older man.

“What’d you do, memorize the definition from the Mayo Clinic?” He asked sardonically. Damian flushed slightly.

“Maybe,” he muttered.

Tim just chuckled and shook his head. “Well, I struggle with depression,” he admitted, staring at the wall ahead of him, eyes unseeing. “I’ve dealt with it since I was a kid since those days I was stalking Batman and Robin on the rooftops. But in the last few years, it’s gotten worse. To the point where now I wonder what I’m even still doing here. Ya know?” He said softly.

“Still doing here as in your apartment? Because I must say, the manor is much better than this place,” Damian said, crinkling his nose. Tim made a noise in the back of his throat and Damian realized that Tim was crying.

“No. I just want to make it stop,” he breathed out, his voice hitching slightly as he did. “I thought, I thought things were better now. Now that Bruce was back Danny and I have a wonderful relationship and things were going well with everyone, I thought things would be different. But it’s not, it’s not different and I still want to die.”

That had Damian pausing. “As in you no longer see life as worth living?” he asked, hoping that he was wrong.

Instead, another sob slipped out of Tim’s mouth and he nodded his head once. “Yeah,” he whispered quietly. “And fuck, you’re just a kid, you don’t need to hear about this.”

Damian reached over and clasped a hand on Tim’s shoulder. He stared up at his brother with a determined gleam in his eyes. “Your life is worth living, Tim. I don’t- I’m not good at words. But you are a good person, and you bring joy to a lot of people’s lives. Mine included,” he said softly. “But the way you make others feel does not matter. What matters is that you are worth it, your life is worth it and you have a bright future ahead of you.”

Tim sniffed. “That’s not it,” he whispered, shrugging from Damian’s grip on his shoulder. “If I died, it wouldn’t change anyone’s lives, everyone would move on and be fine.”

“That’s a lie,” Damian said roughly. “Danyal’s life wouldn’t be the same. I do not know everything yet as he hasn’t been comfortable sharing all of it with me. But I know that you are the only thing that brought him back to humanity. My life would not be the same. This last year of getting to come over and spend time with you and Danyal has been some of the best days of my life. I have gotten to reconnect with my Danyal and I have also gotten to know my big brother better,” he said, looking up at Tim. “And I am not talking about Danyal, our relationship is not there yet, I don’t think. But you are my big brother and I would miss you. I would miss coming over for movie nights and for the times we team up and roast Danyal together. I would miss the nights on patrol with you where you actually trust me and let me work with you.”

A sob escaped from Tim again and Damian found himself with an armful of his brother. He said nothing else as he hugged the man tight, clutching him to his chest. He would have to work harder to make sure that Tim knew he was appreciated, that he was a part of this family whether he liked it or not.

....

“We’re not watching Mission Impossible!” Tim exclaimed, falling onto the couch dramatically as he smashed himself between Damian and Danyal. “I can’t watch another spy movie or else I will actually start losing brain cells.”

“I thought that watching all of the spy movies of this dimension was important to my education,” Danyal said innocently, wrapping his arm around Tim’s shoulders.

“I should have never suggested that you and Damian bond that way,” he said with a huff before he tilted his head up to give Danyal a soft kiss, eliciting a noise of disgust from Damian who simply threw the popcorn at the two.

“Do you know how weird it is for me to think about my two brothers dating one another?” He asked, looking between the two, nothing but amusement sparkled in his eyes.

Danyal craned his head around Tim to give the younger boy a devious smile. “Do you really think that’s the weirdest part of your life? Not you know, growing up in an assassin cult, not being a vigilante, or oh! Not the fact that you’ve had multiple clones try to kill you? The weird thing is to have two brothers, who are not related to each other in any way, date?”

“Yes,” Damian said with a sniff.

“What about the fact that your brother is a ghost?” Tim asked.

“Or that your dad was thrown in the timestream?” Danny suggested.

“Or that you’ve nearly committed fratricide multiple times?” Tim pointed out causing Damian to glower.

“What about the fact that your best friend is an alien?” Danny asked.

“Better yet, what about the fact that your dad is fucking an alien?” Tim said and both Al Ghul’s looked at him in shock and horror. “What?” He asked innocently, looking between the two brothers in confusion. “You’re telling me that you guys didn’t know that Bruce is sleeping with Clark?”

“He can’t do that,” Damian whined, burying his face in his hands as he fell to his side on the couch.

“Why not?” Danyal asked, looking confused.

“Because I have a crush on Jon!” Damian cried out.

Tim and Danny looked at one another for a moment before bursting out into laughter.

“Ancients Tim, this family is fucked up,” Danny laughed, holding his sides as he did.

Tim just smiled and shook his head. “Yeah, but it’s mine,” he said softly

[weemssapphic]

Strange

PART ONE: Isn't it strange?

Link to part two!

Brienne of Tarth x f!reader

Summary: Betraying the King is one thing. Betraying the King when the Lord Commander is your girlfriend? That’s another. 

Words: ~1.4k | ao3 link in title

Content/warnings: angst, breakups, hurt/no comfort (pssst... part 2 has a happy ending!)

A/N: The first part of this fic is a songfic to Strange by Celeste - I highly recommend listening to it as you read. Special thanks to @dianneking for being an excellent beta! ✨

I tried for you Tried to see through all the smoke and dirt It wouldn’t move What could I do?

You sit gingerly at the edge of the bed that you share with Brienne - the Brienne of Tarth. You’ve been together for nearly three years now and, still, she makes your heart beat just a little faster and your stomach do a somersault every time she looks at you. Just the thought of her is usually enough to make you swoon - usually. 

Your eyes scan your surroundings, filling with tears as you realize it may be the last time you’ll sit here, on this bed, in this little cottage. A small home filled with memories, filled with love. Little trinkets on every shelf, gifts from you to Brienne, and from Brienne to you; paintings on the walls, each carrying a unique story; every piece of furniture carefully crafted to satisfy both of your tastes. Memories of sitting at the dining table sharing meals, of staying up late curled up in front of the fire to talk, of making love in the pale glow of dawn, sleepy and lazy - carefree and in love. Your eyes fall to the bags next to you on the bed - almost packed.

Say, isn’t it strange? Isn’t it strange? I am still me You are still you In the same place

The door to the cottage slams open, deafening in the otherwise quiet space. Brienne storms in, her face red and her jaw clenched. Instinctively, you rise to your feet as she comes to a stop in front of you.

Isn’t it strange? How people can change From strangers to friends Friends into lovers And strangers again

“Why would you do that?” she spits out - you’ve never seen her fury directed at you before, and it breaks your heart just as much as it ignites a fury of your own inside of you.

“He let hundreds of women and children die or worse, and I’m supposed to stand around and pretend the great King doesn’t deserve to be gutted on his throne for what he’s done? How can you defend him?”

“It’s my duty.” Brienne’s face is hard and her tone unwavering, and she stands straight and tall, and, Gods, does that piss you off.

“Fuck duty! Since when is duty more important than doing the right thing?” Your chest is rising and falling erratically now, your cheeks flushed with anger. You can’t believe she would take the King’s side over your own - but then, she’s a knight. You shouldn’t have expected her to be different.

Brienne looks like she’s about to raise her voice again, but then her eyes fall to the bags at your feet and the color drains from her face. “What are you doing?”

“It wouldn’t look too good for you to be with a traitor,” you say, keeping your voice level - as level as you can, at least, as you drink in Brienne’s expression, watching her heart break in real time.

“It… what?” Brienne’s mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. Her lower lip begins to quiver and she swallows visibly as her eyes dart between you and the packed bags.

What did we lose? What did we lose?

“I’m a traitor now, apparently. I cannot stay here - and the righteous and just Lord Commander should not be seen with a traitor - it’s unbecoming of a knight.” You try for a smile but it looks more like a pained grimace - you feel tears prick at your eyes once again as Brienne’s own eyes turn watery, pale eyelashes fluttering rapidly against her cheekbones.

If I could, I’d pull your strings for one more dance But I can’t

“This life is everything you’ve ever worked for. I can’t be the one to take that away from you. But… I can’t stay. It’s better for both of us like this - you get to keep your position and your honor. And I…” You swallow thickly - your own words sound foreign to you, so far away. “I won’t have to watch the woman I love sell her soul to a heartless monster.”

Brienne’s lips part but she says nothing - the hurt on her face says more than words ever could, but so does her silence. That breaks your own heart most of all.

“Brienne, I-” The words catch in your throat - they can’t get past the lump that has settled there, dying before they even reach your lips.

Isn’t it strange? You look at me I look at you With nothing to say

You have never seen Brienne look at you the way she’s looking at you now - a strange mixture of grief, remorse, and incredulity that looks foreign to you amongst her features. Her eyes, which usually hold all the stars in the galaxy, twinkling brightly, are reserved and guarded. Her lips are pressed into a hard line - curling down slightly at the edges, rather than up. A stray golden curl falls across her furrowed brow - you feel yourself reaching out involuntarily to brush it aside, a force of habit, before thinking better of it and dropping your arm to your side.

“I should go,” you croak out. You reach into your bedside table and pull out an ornate necklace, made of solid gold and sapphires the colors of the waters of Tarth. It’s all Brienne has from her mother, and Brienne had given it to you on your first anniversary - it would suit you better than it had ever suited her, she’d reasoned, and you’d always carry a part of her and of Tarth with you when you wore it. “Here. It was your mother’s, you should have it back.”

Brienne’s eyes widen, the crease between her brows deepens. Her teeth sink into her lower lip to prevent it from quivering again and she turns her head, a shaky breath leaving her throat. “No. I gave it to you - keep it. Please.”

The ‘please’ tapers off into a tremble and you feel the entirety of Westeros being pulled out from underneath your feet. You want to do what she says - but you can’t. She deserves to have a piece of her family with her - and you know you could never wear it again without feeling the weight of your grief hanging around your neck. 

“I can’t.” You place it delicately on the bed - it catches the rays of the setting sun, and the sapphires remind you of Brienne’s eyes, and you glance up at the ceiling, willing your oncoming tears not to fall. You reach down to grab your bags, then, with a deep breath and one last look around the cottage (memorizing, desperately memorizing), you head past Brienne out the door.

Gravel crunches underneath your boots as you round the cottage, taking quick strides towards your horse. A second set of footsteps is not far behind and, as you fasten the bags to your horse’s saddle, slender fingers grip your wrist.

“Don’t leave. Please. Don’t. Leave.” Brienne’s voice breaks this time, and you don’t have to turn around to know that she’s crying. You close your eyes for a moment to steel yourself, then turn to face her. Her expression hurts like nothing you’ve ever experienced, her face scrunched up as tears leave pale tracks down her cheeks. 

“I don’t have a choice,” you whisper, your own voice hoarse and trembling. “They’ll be searching for me soon enough. And you have to tell them that I was gone before you came home. If you want to keep your position, you need to let me go.”

Brienne’s eyes dart between your own and, for a moment, you hope she won’t let you leave. You hope she’ll say that she’ll take your side, that she’ll fight for you - her position be damned. You hope she’ll hop on the horse with you and ride away. You hope she’ll choose you.

But she doesn’t. Her grip on your wrist loosens and her hand falls back down to her side, and though she cries and cries and cries, she stays rooted to the spot.

There you have your answer, you suppose. You swallow against the lump in your throat and turn away, ignoring the broken wail that leaves Brienne’s throat as you mount your horse.

“I love you, Brienne,” you whisper softly - you don’t think she’s heard it over her own sobs, and maybe that’s for the best. You start to ride off, looking back only once, just before you reach a bend in the road that will take you out of King’s Landing. Brienne watches you - but she doesn’t move to follow.

Isn’t it strange? How people can change From strangers to friends Friends into lovers  And strangers again

x

Find part two here!

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[itaehynz]

love yourself or no one else will. — c.bg ･ ⟢

╰ pairing: choi beomgyu x afab!reader.

╰ genre: pure angst.

╰ warnings: very little profanity, cheating, crying, betrayal.

╰ summary: the night of your anniversary, the night you wished the best for. you and beomgyu had your ups and downs but you never would have thought it would’ve escalate this far.

part 1 | part 2

you and beomgyu have been together for two years. there’s been quite a few ups and downs, but nothing you two can’t get through.

there’s been a few ‘oh, she’s just a friend.’ and ‘oh, i’ve known her all my life. she’d never become an obstacle for us.’ on beomgyu’s end but again, nothing you two can’t get through.

beomgyu seems to really love you more than life itself but these days, he seems a bit… off. like there’s something he’s not telling you, something he may be hiding or maybe a surprise! he would never hurt you in anyway, right?

anywho, today’s your two year anniversary with him. you texted him that you’d be working late tonight in order to surprise him and get everything set up for dinner at your shared apartment. he responded with an ‘okay babe, i’ll see you later’ considering he was working.

when he responded to you, you hearted his message putting your phone to the side and starting cooking away. you decided that it would be great help if your best friend would be able to help you get everything ready, but apparently she was busy with something.

‘it’s fine’, you think to yourself. you can do this within a 4-hour time span, beomgyu usually doesn’t come straight home after work anyways so you’re sure it’d be nice if he were to walk in on a beautiful dinner after wearing himself out with a long day’s work.

you continue to cook, yelling for alexa to turn on your playlist. this should help you move quicker.

—

it’s finished. everything is perfect. there’s a trail of rose petals leading from your front door to your dining room table. there’s a fresh wine bottle sitting atop the beautifully decorated kitchen island, cork waiting to be popped off in celebration. lights dimmed for a sultry mood, and the food. everything looks amazing.

you finally take off your apron and rush to your shared bedroom to dress in your best attire. you put on a beautiful, skin tight silk black dress, something beomgyu has always loved seeing you in.

you sigh in content waiting for beomgyu to walk through that door in his work attire, a suit with the tie that he pulls at all day, trying to make himself more comfortable as he sits behind a desk for hours.

finally, you hear keys jingling at the door. ‘it’s beomgyu.’ you think to yourself with a bright smile painted on your face. you quickly grab the flowers resting on top of your kitchen counter, waiting for beomgyu in front of the door.

you assume he seems to be having a hard time unlocking it as you hear him grunting lightly behind the door. once you finally hear him unlock it, your eyes glisten with delight and love.

until they walk in.

‘they’ as in beomgyu and… your best friend.

your eyes turn from what was delight to pure disgust. beomgyu and your best friend both stop in their tracks, eyes blown out as if they’re deers that were caught in headlights.

“b-baby… i can explai-” beomgyu breathes out, obviously tired from the full on makeout he was once having.

“e-explain what b-beomgyu?” you say, tears brewing in your eyes. you cannot even begin to explain how you’re feeling right now. anger? sadness? distress? probably a mix of all.

“h-how l-long has this b-been going on f-for?” you mumble with tears now streaming down your face. beomgyu and your (old) best friend share a look, one filled with despair and knowingness. you expected something bad to come out of beomgyu’s mouth but you never would’ve thought it would be this bad.

“after our first argument, i went to her and ranted but it escalated into something more. i didn’t expect our relationship to last this long, i’m sorry y/n.” he utters looking down at his feet, disgusted with himself for how long he let the hookup carry on for.

you suddenly feel a turning feeling in your stomach, you think you’re gonna be sick. you feel extremely dumb for not noticing his change of actions and words. the way he’s been cancelling on your dates, claiming “something came up” at work and the way he’s been talking to you, rushing through the conversations as if he had somewhere to be. you guess he did have somewhere to be… with her.

you’re deep in thought before you hear the slight shuffle of your best friend’s feet causing you to look at her with narrowed eyes. making eye contact with her, she seems to have tears brimming her eyes which makes her look away abruptly. you look back over at beomgyu and then her again coming up with a plan, “you know what,” you interject, “you two can eat, i’ll be in the room if you have anything else to say.” you add before turning around and walking back to the shared bedroom.

once you reach your bedroom, you start your plan: gather all of beomgyu’s shit, put it in a suitcase and kick them out once they finish eating.

you don’t know how you’re going to build up the mental strength to do so but you know it’s what you have to do. you can barely look at her or beomgyu without wanting to cry. this is one of the downs you and beomgyu will not be bouncing back from.

you hear beomgyu and your now ex-best friend talking, trying to come up with ways to come back from this situation and have everything go back to normal. you silently scoff, finding it silly how beomgyu thinks he’ll always be able to get what he wants. it’s not happening.

you hear them finally put their plates in the sick just as you finish packing up every single last thing that beomgyu has ever owned. you begin dragging the suitcase out of the room, causing them both to look at you in shock.

“y/n, you’re not serious right?” beomgyu speaks, true sorrow laced in his tone. you look up at him with tears threatening to trickle down once again, fiddling with the suitcase handle. “yes. i am, i don’t want to see either of you ever again.” you say, looking between them both.

beomgyu’s now blinking rapidly, trying to rid away his tears. “y-y/n, p-pleas—please” he sniffles, “i’m r-really s-sorry.” you stare at him, unpleased with the way he’s acting. he’s trying to get what he wants again. your ex-best friend is now looking at you with sad eyes, tears brimming at her eyes.

“LEAVE. both of you,” you yell, voice cracking trying your absolute hardest not to cry in front of them. they both jump at the sound of your voice, beomgyu’s officially given up. he’s still sniffling but he’s not saying anything. instead, he reaches over for the suitcase, hand lightly grazing yours.

he tries resting his hand on yours but you snatch your hand away, looking up at him “go.” you say, voice laced with faux ferocity.

seeming as if they finally got the memo, beomgyu takes the suitcase and walks to the door. your best friend follows suit and waves back at you, knowing this is the last time she’ll ever see you.

“wait,” you say. beomgyu perks up his head quickly, hoping you’ve changed your mind about all of this.

“leave your keys, i don’t want you thinking it’s okay to come back.” you add, leaving beomgyu with no choice but to lower his head once again and placing his keys on the kitchen counter. they both begin walking out the door again, not gaining the strength to look back at you.

once the door slams, your knees give out. you’re on the floor, sobbing profusely. you never would’ve thought things would end this way and that’s not what you were hoping for. especially not on your anniversary. the dress being worn right now, the dress beomgyu apparently loved on you, a dress that you now hate. you’re filled with anger yet sadness at the same time, mad at yourself for not seeing how weird he’s been acting but sad for having things end this way.

now looking back on all of the things that could’ve been or should’ve been if you hadn’t wasted your time on a lost cause also known as your relationship. it was obvious beomgyu had stopped loving you a while ago, but it just hurts you to think about.

if it was so easy for him to hide things from you, why was it so hard for him to let you go? he never loved you. you guess it is true what they say.

love yourself or no one else will.

2023 TTYUNZ.

╰ author notes: i hope you guys enjoyed this one! just a little something to get you guys by as i get close to finishing “icrtfy” <3!

╰ p. taglist: @boba-beom @bucketofhiros @yeofy @n0-thisispatrick @hyukafied @hyunimylove @luvsoobs @choiwrld @majestyjun @tyunkus @belovedxiao @h00nerz —