#but apparently i can’t look away for a single hot fucking minute without the fandom on twitter becoming an even bigger cesspit than usual

[chalkrevelations]

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[evanbvckley]

SUMMARY: When Maddie organizes a game night for the firefam and their partners, things between Buck and Eddie change quickly. Nothing a hot shower can't resolve.

FANDOM: 9-1-1 (TV)

RELATIONSHIP: Evan Buckley / Eddie Diaz

WORDS: 3.6k.

First attempt at writing after years, well.... look at what the homosexuals have done to me! [READ ON AO3]

Full story under the cut. 

That kiss was a joke, right? Buck could not explain it, but he has never felt that way in a long time. He kept thinking about that kiss with Eddie.

It was an “adult” game night at the 118, and of course, everyone invited their partners: Chimney brought Maddie, Bobby brought Athena, who wasn’t that convinced about that whole thing but agreed after knowing there would have been wine to make things more tolerable, and Hen brought Karen. The only ones left were Buck and Eddie, who were paired together just for the game, making Maddie laugh for almost fifteen minutes at her brother’s expression. They were not a couple, but it was just a night between friends – however, it was strange being the only couple who was not actually a couple at the table. The game became more intense when Maddie, playing truth or dare, dared every couple to kiss for a minute. Hen and Karen did it without hesitation, and after them it was the turn of Bobby and Athena, helped by a glass of good red wine.

“Your turn, Buck,” Maddie said just after having kissed Chimney, smiling as she stared at Buck and Eddie, both red in their faces. Buck was trying to kill her with his look.

“I’m not gonna kiss Eddie for a whole minute. No way.” He protested, still sitting at the table but wanting to disappear from Earth as Eddie, beside him, became more and more silent. Both just wanted to skip that turn, but at the same time they both knew no one there would ever let them do it.

“You have to do it, Buck. It’s the game.” Chimney supported Maddie as always, and just like that he was on Buck’s blacklist too. They were never gonna get invited to anything again.

“It’s not fair, you’re all together. We are not a couple.” Buck kept fighting against the rules and against his own new family, while Eddie was trying not to explode from embarrassment in front of everyone.

“It’s only a game, you don’t have to get married after this!” Hen laughed, followed by Athena and Karen, both drunker than what they would have ever admitted. It was their way to tolerate all of that: wine made things easier, even for Eddie. As a matter of fact, it was Eddie who started it: he chugged down a glass of wine in a few seconds before taking Buck’s head in his hands, whispering a stressed “fuck” as he turned the friend towards him and kissed him. One minute, it was only one minute.

The most intense silence fell in the room: Maddie and Chimney smiled, Athena almost choked herself with an olive as Bobby looked away, while Hen and Karen stared at both of them, interested and entertained. It was the most entertaining thing of the night, after all.

Sure, it was only one minute, but many things can happen in one minute. Eddie closed his eyes just before kissing Buck, who almost stood up and ran away, but it took only a few moments to get used to Eddie’s lips over his mouth. After ten seconds, Buck relaxed his muscles. After thirty seconds, he lifted his arms to put his hand over Eddie’s shoulders. After fifty seconds he was so into that kiss that he almost opened his mouth to get his tongue out.

“One minute!” Interrupted Chimney, with some complaints coming from both Athena and Hen.

“See? It wasn’t that difficult. Good job, brother.” Maddie was kind of involved with all of that, she just waited for the right moment to pull off that card to make everyone kiss, especially his brother and Eddie. She found so frustrating seeing them so close yet so far, every single day. Yes, that game night was just an excuse to bring those two together and with the expert help of Chimney, it finally happened. And it was even better than they thought it would be. Buck was red as the firetruck, Eddie was so quiet as if he weren’t really there.

“I have to go.” Buck did not add anything else, he just walked away from the table and called sick for a few days the next morning.

—

After an entire week had passed, Buck’s mind is still stuck on that kiss, on the feeling of Eddie’s lips over his and how he almost tried to get out his tongue to make that kiss more carnal. What the hell was I thinking? is quite literally the only thought inside Buck’s mind every time he thinks about Eddie, and everything reminds him of that kiss since everything, apparently, reminds him of Eddie Diaz, the hot firefighter who started as an enemy – a rivalry who lasted less than a day.

After just one kiss, Edmundo Diaz was the only thing Evan Buckley was able to think about.

Eddie’s situation is not much better after all: he realized he had kissed Evan with so much passion only a few days later, and he can only think about Buck too.

Buck returned to work after those so-called “sick” days, completely ignoring Eddie and every question about him, even though they had to work together. It was much easier doing that than acknowledge what he had felt during that kiss and what he was still feeling at that moment, just thinking about it.

Having to work with the person you are trying to avoid does not make things easy, and Buck was about to realize it as he went in the showers of the 118. Most of his coworkers have already gone away, but not one in particular, not the one Buck is trying so hard to ignore: Eddie.

“Good job today,” says Eddie, trying to be kind and putting everything in the past like nothing ever happened between the two of them. But he can’t resist. “Listen, Buck, about that—”

“Shut up. I don’t want to talk about it.” Buck shushes him without even raising his eyes. He gets undressed, hops in the shower without saying anything more but his silence does not last that long. “Why did you grab my head to kiss me? They were about to give up and move on. But you kissed me.” now Buck is really looking at Eddie, into his eyes, as if it was an interrogation.

“It was a game. A joke.” Lies. As much as Buck, Eddie knows it wasn’t only a joke: there was something else, something deeper and more powerful. “We’re still friends, right?” he keeps on lying.

“Yeah, right.” a cutting answer leaves Buck’s mouth. Despite his attempts at ignoring him, his eyes keep glaring at Eddie’s body as the water runs down Eddie’s muscular body. Both of them become quiet, but at the same time, they are thinking about the other: especially here, naked, in the shower, with the hands that reach their penis, imagining their “friend” doing the same.

Buck had enough of that: he steps out of his shower only to reach Eddie’s spot, opening the opaque shower door and whispering “My turn” before going in, grabbing Eddie’s face just in the same way as the man did it at game night, kissing him again. Eddie, surprising even himself, kisses back almost immediately, arching his back but staying away from Buck’s wet naked body.

“What did that mean, Buck?” asks Eddie, after the other stopped the kiss. Buck was standing right in front of him, embarrassed – What the fuck did I do? We’re naked! – but knowing that his heart was in the right place and that Eddie owned it.

“I— I don’t know! I can’t stop thinking about that kiss! It was a joke, right? Why did you kiss me? Why everyone wanted us to kiss?”

“It wasn’t a joke, Buck.” Eddie lets out a long sigh, looking at Buck blurting words out without thinking. “It was a kiss, I think your sister made the whole game night up just for that. I have no actual evidence, but I’m pretty sure of that.” he laughs, and Buck immediately calms down a little.

“You think so?” Maddie was behind all of that? Impossible.

“Yeah. But you kissed me again after avoiding me for an entire week. Why?” not that Eddie did not like it, he actually liked it even more than the kiss during the game. Buck is direct, passionate, his kisses make Eddie euphoric, and now he wants to know the reason behind that second kiss.

“I wanted to. I kept thinking about you, your kiss, your lips… and I couldn’t resist any longer.”  letting all of that out is like lifting a weight off his chest, he finally admitted his feelings, but he could not even think about other words to say because Eddie pulled him over to kiss him again. This time, however, he doesn’t stay away from Evan’s body, instead, he just pushes himself over Buck.

“We’re in the showers,” Buck says, gasping for air as he puts his hands on Eddie’s hips.

“I know. But there is basically no one at the 118 right now. Be quiet.” And Buck doesn’t question it.

They kiss again, their bodies rubbing one against the other as their tongues were finally together. Buck turns off the water as he pushes Eddie against the wall, rushing to get a hand inside his hair. He cannot believe they are doing that inside the fire station, but it feels so good he cannot stop at just one kiss.

“Fuck me,” Buck whispers at Eddie’s ear just before biting his earlobe, making Eddie jump and shiver with excitement. Their first time together and they are in a shower, not that romantic and not at all as Eddie had imagined – because yes, he had already thought of that, a million possibilities of having sex with Buck, but the showers of the fire station were never part of his dreams.

“Not so fast.” Eddie laughs, bringing one hand around Buck’s dick to massage it and to feel it growing inside his fingers. Hearing Buck moaning is delightful, and it is even better than everything his mind has ever produced. From his explicit request, Buck melts as soon as Eddie grabs his dick to turn him on: in a span of few seconds, Buck is craving Eddie’s hand and tongue, even his teeth on his body. He wants everything Eddie can give him, and the other is more than happy to please him in every way he can.

Buck is so eager to be fucked that he takes Eddie’s hand over his ass, but Eddie takes things slower: he grabs Buck’s left cheek before switching position and pushing him against the wall, with his back towards him so he can take a look at the ass he’s about to fuck. “Such a pretty view.”

“It’s all yours.” Buck moans, pushing up his ass and searching for Eddie’s cock, which is now stiff and hard just as Buck’s dick. Eddie doesn’t know whether or not Buck has been fucked before, but he doesn’t want to waste time asking that: instead, he gets on his knees in front of his ass and spreads Buck’s cheeks apart to see his hole. Without hesitating he gets his tongue right in the middle, rubbing the tip over his tight opening: it was clear that Buck was never the slutty bottom he was in that moment with him. And he likes that. Buck shivers and moans again, closing his eyes and even his mouth when Eddie interrupts the rimming only to shush him: after all, they are still in a public place, sort of.

Eddie nudges with his tongue inside Buck, just to try things out, and the muffled moan that leaves Buck’s mouth makes him smile. He is doing the right thing and, most importantly, he has not lost his touch after all those years without another body between his hands. After playfully biting his left cheek, Eddie stands up and gets closer to Buck’s body: his hard cock pressed against Buck’s ass, which is almost begging to get pounded at this time. Buck’s eyes confirm that feeling, but he is not ready yet.

“Get on your knees.” Eddie insists and Buck, moaning a complaint, obeys once again. Seeing Eddie’s shaft right in front of his eyes is something else: a long and slightly curved cock, with a red tip and throbbing veins that tempt him. Instinctively, Buck gets his hand around it, looking up at Eddie to have some kind of confirmation, and after a simple look, he starts jerking him off. It is not the first time for Buck to jerk a cock different than the one he has between his legs, but it is the first time with Eddie, and this first time is quite special. Buck licks his lips, preparing his mouth as he gets closer and closer to Eddie.

When Eddie feels Buck’s tongue around his head, he squints his eyes, holding out his arm to get the hand against the wall. He smiles happily and breathes heavily, encouraging Buck as he passes the other hand through his hair.

“You’re not just good at kissing, apparently…” Eddie pushes his hips forward, forcing Buck to take all his length in his mouth. Not easy, but he manages to take it. Buck keeps licking and sucking, swirling his tongue around Eddie’s dick, and lifting his arm to get his hand over Eddie’s pecs. He grabs it, pinching his nipple as he blows him.

“Some more… Get that tongue around it.” Now the only thing Buck can think about is Eddie’s pleasure and the taste of his precum that goes down his throat. Oh, how much he missed that.

Eddie must stop himself from moaning and from thrusting his erection inside Buck’s mouth. Fortunately, it is Buck himself that brings new rhythm to that blowjob, going faster and faster as his saliva drips down from his chin.

“Stop. Stop— Fuck.” Eddie pulls away from Buck’s mouth, who stays right there with his lips open and his tongue out, inviting Eddie to give him his cock again.

“I want more.” Please, he adds in his head.

“You’re so eager.” Eddie laughs, but he nods. Grabbing the base of his cock he rubs his entire length over Buck’s face, slapping his cheeks and then his mouth with it. “Like that?”

“Yes.” Buck keeps trying to catch it with his mouth, but Eddie does not give him any chance. But they are in the shower without any lube or protection, so Buck’s saliva is the best thing he’ll ever get. Eddie grabs firmly Buck’s hair to hold his head and shoves his cock inside his mouth up until the base. His testicles rubbing Buck’s chin.

Eddie keeps a hand over his own mouth to keep himself quiet, he is finally minutes away from fucking Evan and he won’t allow anyone to walk in on them at that moment. “Fuck. Stand up. Now.”

As soon as Buck stands up, Eddie kisses him again to feel his own taste mixed with the other’s saliva.

“Turn around.” Buck was waiting just for that. He presses his face against the wall, spreads his legs, and pushes his hips out. With the help of his hands, then, he spreads his cheeks to show off his pink and almost untouched hole.

With a hand over Buck’s mouth, Eddie rubs his cock between the cheeks, spitting on it himself to get more lube as possible. It was not going to be easy, but he knows Buck can take it.

“Ready?” he pushes the tip against his hole without putting it in.

“Mh–mh.” Buck nods, rubbing his ass over Eddie’s erection. It is bigger than Buck expected, but after all, if he took it all inside his mouth, why wouldn’t he be able to take it up his ass? He is ready.

Slowly, Eddie’s cock slides inside. Buck’s muscles contract around the head even if he knows he has to relax them, but the last time he had a real cock inside him was such a long ago. Eddie makes sure that he is not hurting him, but he carefully keeps going watching every move Buck makes. He is tight, warm, and perfect. After a while, Eddie’s cock is all inside him and Buck can feel Eddie’s testicles against his ass. Both moan simultaneously, Eddie leans over Buck to kiss his shoulder.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna go slow.”

“Don’t—” Buck takes away Eddie’s hand to talk. “Fuck me for real.” Eddie is not surprised; Buck always wants everything immediately. This time, however, Eddie was not going to roll his eyes and complain: Buck will get what he asks.

He starts with small thrusts to get Buck’s hole used to his cock, but as soon as he feels that there isn’t much resistance from Buck and especially after he sees pleasure taking over Buck’s face, he knows he can start fucking him just as his man asked.

The thrusts get faster and heavier, his hips smash against Buck’s cheeks as both of them try not to moan and scream for pleasure. After all, none of them had sex in a long time. Buck takes his arms back to grabs Eddie to pull him over him so he can kiss him: it is his way to shut himself up, or else he is gonna scream.

Eddie follows him happily, kissing him as he keeps moving in and out of him, feeling his muscles squeezing his cock. He is not gonna last very long as he wants, but he does not care. Having Buck all for himself feels amazing, he finally knows how his hole feels like, how he moans, how his eyes look when he is being fucked: so many questions now finally have an answer.

“Please…” Buck moans as his hand reaches for his erection, stroking himself with the help of Eddie’s thrusts. Eddie cannot hear him begging like this and not pounding him harder: his hands tightly grab Buck’s shoulder, pushing his cock inside his hole that is now used to being spread apart. Buck cannot help but moan harder and harder, and Eddie has to put a hand over his mouth once again: they cannot be seen like this, not when he’s close to breed him.

Buck’s moans die against Eddie’s fingers, that the man starts inserting into his mouth to make him suck them. It feels amazing how Buck’s muscles surround his throbbing dick, and the orgasm gets closer with each thrust.

“I’m gonna fill you up…” Eddie whispers at Buck’s ear, which quivers at the idea, but has something else in mind.

“No. I want to taste you.” With a smirk on his face, Buck turns his head behind as much as he can to make eye contact with his friend, even though it seems strange to call Eddie like that while his dick is hitting his prostate.

“As you wish.” Eddie can feel his pleasure rise each second; his dick is begging him to let the cum fill up Buck’s hole, but he wants to please his colleague. After that, he pulls out. “Get on your knees, fast!” as he jerks off to keep the orgasm coming. Buck obeys and gets his face right under Eddie’s dick, keeping his eyes up so the other man can see how much he loves all of that.

Eddie’s loads hit Buck’s face fast: they are warm, white, and most importantly there is so much cum coming out of that cock that Buck is not sure he could have kept it in his mouth. The first loads hit even Buck’s hair, but when Eddie has finally finished, Buck’s face is covered in cum he keeps licking his lips to catch what he can to taste his load. Eddie stands in front of him, amazed at what Buck can become during sex, but he doesn’t stay frozen, instead, he grabs the base of his cock and uses it to push his own load towards Buck’s mouth, cleaning his face at the same time.

“Fuck, you really like that…” and he likes it too. Eddie gets on his knees too to kiss Buck’s face and lips, tasting his own load from his skin as he gets one hand over Buck’s cock to jerk him off and help him finish.

“Eddie…” Buck moans, shoving his dirty face into Eddie’s shoulders as the man massages his throbbing cock. It doesn’t take long anyway, after less than a minute Buck shoots his thick load that hits Eddie’s body and then the rest slides down Eddie’s hand. Without any hesitation, when Buck has finished Eddie lifts his hand to lick it clean in front of Buck who watches the scene, speechless.

“You taste good,” Eddie says, before kissing him and pushing him against the wall again, even if they are now sitting on the shower floor, he does not want to stop kissing him. Eddie has waited for too long for that, he doesn’t want to waste any minute or any second away from Buck’s perfect body.

“Next time you’ll top.” It is just a whisper that leaves Eddie’s mouth, but Buck is already smiling at the idea: one of his hand reaches Eddie’s ass to grab his cheek, but Eddie immediately slaps his hand. “I said next time. Now, you’re mine.”

What started as a game night evolved in some rough, enticing and heated sex between two so-called ‘friends’ that now are probably more than just that. It is with a soft kiss, especially compared to everything they have done until that moment, that Eddie stands up and gets Buck to stand up as well. A new shower starts, but this time they are in the same spot, helping the other with soap and of course teasing each other. After all, it was only the first of many showers together.

[playingbaseballwithyourson]

A Comprehensive List of Why REFLEKDOLL is One of the BEST EPISODES

1. I mainly come to this show to watch Ladybug and Chat Noir bitch at each other for a solid 15-20 minutes and, my god, does this episode deliver.

2. “You’d better get going before you lose your clown costume.” I C O N I C.

3. For real, confirmation that Ladybug sees Chat as as much of a goddamn clown as the entire fanbase, it’s great. 

4. I know people get on this episode because the ladynoir banter is apparently “”mean-spirited””? But honestly like, banter between friends CAN sound this mean-spirited from an outward perspective while all the friends involved in it are totally fine and in complete understanding that it’s all just joking and in good fun. Ladybug really starts tearing into him (jokingly) and Chat still finishes the sequence by bouncing away yelling “SEE I WAS RIIIIIGHT!” in an upbeat, teasing tone. Like, they’re fine. This is just how they talk to each other as friends and it’s clear neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir take their banter very seriously. (Honestly my banter with my friends can be far more scathing than anything in this episode. XD)

5. Watching Juleka and Luka interact... It’s pure. It’s good. :’3 Just an all around good scene. It’s also nice to follow up on how Juleka’s been dealing with her issues since Reflekta, even though it does turn out she’s made very miniscule progress.

6. Alya’s galaxy brain moment of inviting Adrien to help Marinette with a fashion shoot: Makes a lot of sense and is a great way to capitalize on both the love square’s hobbies to get them to hang out more! It’s the single part of this episode that isn’t a contrivance! 

7. Adrienette look cute in the matching outfits. Sorry but they do.

8. Okay, the thing that is truly great about this episode is that everything about it is a massive contrivance to make the kwami swap happens. ML wants it’s fucking kwami swap and it’s going to bend over backwards to make it happen, and it is NOT shy about it and it is NOT sorry. And honestly?? I FUCKING LOVE THAT. Does a kwami swap make logical sense for it to occur without the heroes having planned for it? No. Are we going to do it anyway? YES!!!! BECAUSE A KWAMI SWAP WOULD BE FUCKING FUN!!! That’s what’s great about ML, and this episode is a great showcase of ML’s priorities as a cartoon (which is probably why this episode rubs some of the fandom the wrong way). A kwami swap is illogical, but it’s fun as fuck, so the show is going to do it. That’s the priority above all else. FUN. AND IT PAYS OFF!

Seriously, everything is a contrivance. Why akumatize Juleka again? Reflekta’s power can handicap the kwamis’ abilities to find their humans in the commotion. Why have Marinette and Adrien change for the photo shoot? Get them to take their miraculous off. Why have them keep the kwamis in the car instead of in their pockets? So they can’t find their own kwamis right away. This episode is jumping through flaming hoops to make this happen and it’s fucking gold. Might there have been a much more natural way to have a kwami swap? Yeah, sure, most likely. But literally WHO EVEN CARES cause this episode starts out fun and ends fun, and it works well enough that I don’t give a flumpty. Hell, I appreciate it even MORE for not being shy about its priorities in this episode. Kwami swap fun? Then kwami swap will happen. Fuck everything else.

9. “Are you okay, Marinette?” “YEAH. HE’S TOO HOT. I MEAN--” This is a top tier Marinette flub.

10. I recognize I’m a minority on this, but I fucking love Mayura. She is a goddamn queen. So gosh darn fabulous with the long coat and the fan. I just love it whenever she shows up so I’m glad she’s here. Makes the villains a touch more intimidating in this episode since there’s two, which pairs well with Marinette and Adrien being somewhat off their game due to the kwami swap.

11. Literally any time Tikki and Plagg interact together is great. 

12. Adrien telling Marinette to hide in the car... TTToTTT <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

13. No one ever believes me when I say Marinette is pure chaotic energy but she HECKING IS! When she finds Plagg with the cat ring, this girl does not waste a goddamn second. Will swapping powers probably mess them up? Yes, but FUCK IT PARIS IS IN DANGER AND WE NEED HEROES NOW SO GIMME THAT RING. SHE JUST DOES NOT WASTE A GODDAMN SECOND TRANSFORMING. SHE CAN TAKE ANYTHING AND ROLL WITH IT. I LOVE MARINETTE.

14. Also Ladynoire’s design is fucking choice.

15. Okay, go onto youtube right now, look up Mister Bug’s transformation sequence, and look at the way he puts on his mask.... I know right??? :D

16. This is a very personal thing, but I love seeing Adrien powered-up without the cat eyes. This is the only time you ever see it, and trust me while I fucking love the cat eyes, it’s a really eye-catching change to see him with his normal eyes here! Think about it, Ladybug has never seen her partner’s real eyes until this episode. It’s cool! (Marinette with the cat eyes, on the other hand, is neat as well, but I don’t think she wears them as well as Chat Noir.)

17. Adrien smacking himself with the yo yo.

18. I’ve said this before but I find it absolutely adorable how, when swapped, Marinette and Adrien base their new names off of each other, rather than making up new ones from scratch. Mister Bug? It’s Ladybug, but boy. Ladynoire? It’s Chat Noir, but girl. Seriously that’s adorable.

19. ADRIEN USING LUCKY CHARM AND GETTING EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED IS ONE OF THE SINGLE FUNNIEST MOMENTS IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW. I’M SORRY BUT IT IS. IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS. JUST ADRIEN BY SHEER LUCK SCHOOLING MARINETTE WITH HER OWN POWER, AND THE COMPLETELY OFFENDED LOOK ON HER FACE AFTERWARDS-- IT’S PEAK ML COMEDY.

20. I’m not the first one to make this comparison, credit goes to @buggachat on that, but Marinette in this episode is like the parent trying to teach their kid how to drive but ends up flipping their shit the second their kid touches the gas pedal. And it’s fucking funny. X”D Marinette has a strong sense of responsibility along with an incredibly specific way of how she likes to do things as Ladybug. Her process is you battle the akuma, gather info about your opponent, use lucky charm at the exact right time that only she knows in order to take them down, and then capture the akuma and/or amok. Her routine is pretty broken in this episode, since it’s now Adrien who needs to do all those things, so that combined with Marinette’s acute awareness of Adrien being a Child Who Causes Problems On Purpose has her veerrryyy on edge this whole episode and it’s just fun to watch. Her asking Adrien if they should switch back, correcting him every time he mis-speaks about how to do Ladybug correctly. It’s not a side of Marinette we get to see every day!

21. Additionally, getting to watch her relax for once in a fight since she’s now in the canonical clown costume is wonderful. I love Marinette. I want good things for Marinette. Relaxation and fun are good. She’s got a lot on her shoulders so this episode is nice, especially with the s3 finale in context.

22. Yknow, I can very happily buy that chataclysm doesn’t work on sentimonsters, since it’s already been established that Miraculous magic can protect from chataclysm. (See: Miraculer)

23. I’ve written already about why Mister Bug wasn’t actually bad with the ladybug miraculous, so I’ll only touch on a couple of those points again. But it is weird to me how people cry about Mister Bug being shit at the ladybug miraculous when he’s so clearly not? He just has a lot of stuff to think about that he usually doesn’t have to worry about cause it’s not his job. When to use lucky charm, HOW to use lucky charm, when to use miraculous ladybug, capturing the akuma once it’s released, capturing the amok. He just quite literally never has to put thought into any of that so it’s pretty understandable that he doesn’t have a handle on it just, automatically. Meanwhile, Marinette doesn’t have a ton of extra things to think about with the cat miraculous, AND she’s canonically naturally talented with handling different miraculous, so it’s very believable that she’d be fine? I get people don’t like that cause they have a problem with Marinette (and any WOC) being competent in general, but she’s just a talented girl. We see her take and roll with anything to stop the villain in every episode of the show, so there’s not actually a reason for her to notably struggle with the cat miraculous. But hell, she actually DOES make things worse by chataclysming Reflekdoll, which might have not happened if she paused before just rushing in and using her power (after proudly declaring she is now the Team Clown). But it’s understandable that she didn’t predict the sentimonster to react how it did, and I can see Adrien making the same mistake, so eh. 

24. But my point is that in terms of this discourse, I think this episode is fine. It’s about Ladybug and Chat Noir learning that they’re both quite good and very comfortable in their default roles. She’s great at handling her job and he’s great at handling his. That’s a perfectly fine lesson for this episode, and it’s not super necessary for them BOTH to learn that their partner’s job is actually super hard! The episode starts with them teasing each other about their roles, and it ends with that little bit of conflict between them being eased away due to their experiences from the kwami swap. Chat Noir is still a clown, Ladybug still is too concerned with her usual responsibilities to spend a lot of time clowning with him in fights, and that’s okay. They both learn to relax about it. It’s a good lesson for them to learn about each other, and it feels natural for the show to spend some time exploring their dynamic as partner heroes! 

25. I actually fucking love how it’s established that the lucky charm works differently for different people. This episode BASICALLY CANONIZES that Marinette’s lucky charm is so insane because SHE HERSELF, IS SO INSANE. Adrien thinks much simpler (which I’ve written about how that’s not a bad thing in previous posts), so his lucky charm is just: You need a mirror? Okay, here’s a mirror. And it’s actually very fun and interesting to me that his ability to use his lucky charm was handicapped specifically becuase he’s only ever watched Marinette use it. Marinette’s lucky charms always yield wildly complicated plans, and that’s the exact thing she’s shouting at him the whole episode, so he expects it to be complicated and thus can’t figure out how to use the mirror. It’s only when they sit down and realize that they’ll have to think on Adrien’s level instead of Marinette’s that they figure out what to do with it! Marinette’s spent the whole episode basically backseat driving for him (understandably), so the fact that the resolution is her meeting Adrien at his own spot and working on his level instead of hers- It’s a good way to wrap the episode up! 

26. Duuzu.

27. dID HE JUST DAB?!?!

28. Oh my god he did. And people actually hate this episode, smh.

29. Marinette flirting with Chat Noir will always give me life, and we get so much of it in this episode! Her calling him Bugaboy is this perfect combo of flirtatious and teasing that’s just very on-brand ladynoir. It’s perfect in this episode for literally so many reasons that I don’t even have time to list them cause this essay is already really long.

30. Adrien and Marinette interacting with the others’ kwami? Wholesome. Marinette and Adrien reuniting with their kwamis? Very wholesome. They’re both so attached to their kwamis in different ways, and they’re also together with their kwamis practically every waking moment of their lives. I can imagine being apart from them even for a little must’ve been a touch anxiety inducing, so it’s nice to see how sweet everyone is when they’re reuniting!

31. Adrien says at the end that he’s not cut out to be Ladybug and honestly y’all... That’s okay. Adrien has his role and he’s incredibly good at his role, and Ladybug is incredibly good at hers. They’re both SATISFIED with their roles. He’s not upset when he says he’s not cut out to be Ladybug, not even a little. He very happily takes Plagg back and steps back into his usual territory. Again, he wasn’t bad at the ladybug miraculous. It just came with more to think about than he really wants to, things that Ladybug is very HAPPY to think about, and if their dynamic already works, then he’s perfectly happy to focus on his part and leave her job to her. That’s great!!!

32. Juleka getting to do the fashion shoot... Yay. :’D I just want good things for Juleka.

In conclusion, this episode is pure unbridled fun from start to finish. It’s chaotic, it’s got top tier banter, it’s a phenomenal change of pace from the rest of the series. I actually love watching this episode with folks for the first time because seeing the look of complete shock and glee on their face as Marinette grabs that cat ring from Plagg is just FUN! And at the end of the day, this episode is a statement on three things:

- Marinette is a talented girl. -Adrien is great at his job. - And ML as a show’s priority will always, first and foremost, be fun.

And none of those are a bad thing. 

Hope you enjoyed the essay! :D

[glasswingsndreamz]

(Sexual) Frustration

Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Rating: NSFW

AO3 Link

Summary:  The cold hearted, poison tongued Felix ends up at your door past everyone's bed time. You have no idea what he's doing there. He's not about to confess why either.

Felix was a warrior. His heart belonged to his sword if he even had one at all. While Sylvain flirted with girls he studied the blade. Repeatedly Felix had denied having any attraction or interest in anyone regardless of gender. It didn’t matter if someone had feelings for him. He’d reject them without batting an eye. In fact he had broken countless hearts of both boys and girls who were unlucky enough to fall for his looks. They certainly wouldn’t fall for his charm or lack thereof. 

You knew better than that. Having watched him throw away countless love letters without opening a single one. So when you felt that butterflies forming in your stomach you quickly crushed them. Felix would make a better partner in battle than one in life.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy being his actual friend. At least you considered him to be a friend. It would be no surprise if he didn’t return the sentiment. Most likely he saw you only as a sparring partner. Knowing he was incapable of having romantic feelings toward you made it easier to squash your own. That didn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat when he decided to remove his shirt during training when it was especially hot. Nor did it stop that spark of arousal coursing throughout your body when he pinned you down during hand to hand combat, a smug smirk on his face. Instead of giving into the urge to drag him down and slam your lips against his you make a move to knee him between the legs. As always he is quick to stop your advances before you can follow through.

What you felt wasn’t love. Of that you were pretty sure. Lust, however, was very plausible. 

Guiltily you had played around the idea of giving into Sylvain’s advances just to get rid of some of the pent up desire building up. It wouldn’t feel as bad if you were knowingly using each other. Still you weren’t that desperate. Yet. The idea that Felix would find out was also a worry in the back of your mind. Not that he would feel jealous. No you suspected his view of you might change. That he’d come to the conclusion that you’d rather spend your time with a hand down Sylvain’s pants rather than sparring.

Never in this life time did you expect Felix to show any romantic interest in anyone. Not when he cherished the company of his sword over that of a companion.

So it came as a big surprise when Felix came to you outside of the training grounds. When you heard a knock at your bedroom door you had been expecting Annette, Mercedes, Ashe, Sylvain, anyone but Felix. 

At first you thought you must be asleep. It was late after all. Too late for anyone to be wandering the monastery. Only in your dreams would Felix come to you first, to your own bedroom. It was hard to really make out the expression on his face with only the moon shining outside. You hadn’t even bothered to light a candle with your brain still clouded with sleep. When Felix remained silent without bothering to explain why he was at your dorm in the middle of the night you began to feel a lot more awake. At that point you were wondering if perhaps you might need to assist in getting rid of a body tonight.

For a good three minutes you waited in silence until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“It’s a little late to want to train isn’t it?” you said, head tilted in curiosity. Despite the worry flooding your mind you kept a calm, outward appearance in case it only pushed him away. 

“...That’s not why I came,” he finally spoke. Patiently you waited for him to continue only to be greeted with more silence.

“Felix?”

“Can I…. come in?” he gritted out the words as if it was painful to speak. Without a word you opened the door further to let him in. Silently he entered, entire body tense as you shut the door behind you.

With eyes adjusted to the darkness it was easy to find and light the lamp on your bedside table. It wasn’t intense enough to light the whole room but now you were able to clearly see the expression on the swordsman’s face. His eyes wouldn’t meet yours which wasn’t unusual. It was the light blush dusting his cheeks that caught your breath. It had to be the lighting. There was no way Felix Hugo Fraldarius was blushing right now. Not in front of you.

Cautiously you watched, not making a move so you didn’t spook him. As curious as you were to know why he was visiting your room in the middle of the night, you were fully aware that he would just as easily leave and deny this ever happened. You might even believe it too. It could easily be a dream.

“Fe-”

He cut you off. His lips were rough against your own and you decided this must be a dream after all. Just as quickly he was pulling away, seeking out your expression to gauge your response. Too stunned to move, you could only stare back in confusion. Apparently this was not what he wanted to see. Without a single explanation he was turning to take his leave.

That would not do at all.

Grasping the back of his shirt, you turned him back to you. He looked surprisingly vulnerable as he faced you again.

“What?” he snapped. If it were anyone else maybe you would be offended, but you knew Felix. Or maybe you didn’t considering how badly he had taken you by surprise.

Bracing yourself both physically and mentally, you gripped at his shoulders to keep him in place. Felix looked like a feral stray, alarmed and ready to claw your face off before bounding away. You didn't take the time to really consider the consequences. In fact you couldn't think at all as you slammed your lips against his. For a moment he was frozen, seemingly surprised with your choice of actions. Quickly he recovered, arms wrapping around and pulling you tightly against him as he returned the action.

His kiss was clumsy, so unlike his precision with the blade. You suspected that it had to do with the lack of practice in this specific field. Even the way he reached down and grabbed at your ass seemed so uncertain. Offering some guidance, you pressed back against him, urging him to be rougher. Felix responded in kind, squeezing hard.

It was difficult to move with his tight grip keeping you in place, barely allowing you to grind against his hips. The guttural groan he let out in response had you grinding even harder. It had him tensing up and pulling his lips away from yours to bite back any more noises that tried to escape.

Of course he couldn’t let you have control. Not for very long anyway.

The high pitched noise you made when Felix picked you up was downright embarrassing. Even more embarrassing than the way you clung to him, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. There was amusement on his face which did not help the blush on your face. It only grew a darker shade when he carried you over to the bed and pressed you down onto the sheets. There was no time to gain back control. Not when he immediately had you pinned down and straddled. It would have been less humiliating if your skirt hadn’t ridden up to reveal the color of your underwear.

He stared down at you, really taking in the sight before him. You watched as his eyes met yours and slowly trailed down. They lingered on your lips which were most likely swollen from his earlier attack with his own mouth. It had you wondering if he was going to kiss you again. Not that you would complain. However, his amber eyes continued their trail down your neck to your chest that rose and fell faster with your growing arousal. There his gaze stayed, as if he could see right through your blouse and flesh to the heart beating fast beneath.

He looked like he was going to devour you whole.

“What do you want?” you asked as if you were in any position to be asking questions. You didn’t care. You needed to hear him say it.

“Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t take you for an idiot,” he said, pressing his hips down and goddess. You can feel him through the layers of clothing and you can’t even begin to comprehend that he is this hard already. You swear you must be dreaming. There’s no more hesitance now. Instead it has been replaced with his usual confidence and arrogance because he knows that you’re as badly affected if not more so.

“I can’t... understand you,” you managed to get the words out in between gasps when he grinded down against you. He’s rubbing right against your clit and it’s so fucking good you can barely think. At this point you’re sure you must be so wet that you’ve soaked right through your underwear. Fuck you can smell how aroused you are and there’s no doubt that he can too.

“You don’t need to,” and then his lips are upon yours.

It’s shameful, the way you’re clawing at his clothes. You’re absolutely desperate in your attempt to remove him of his clothes and he’s not being very helpful either. The man barely removes his mouth from yours to pull the shirt over his head while you’re working on his belt. He even has the nerve to growl at you when you attempt to pull away to do so, which is incredibly hard when he already has you pressed into the pillow.Those next few minutes are a blur of tearing clothes until you’re both remaining in your underwear. His reaction when he removes your shirt is hilarious. For whatever reason he seemed to be under the impression that you’d be wearing a bra to bed. Instead he was flustered and unprepared for the sight of your bare breasts. You resisted the urge to tease him and instead pulled him in for another kiss to distract him. It’s at that point that he begins to hesitate. His hands, which were so eager to rip your blouse off your torso, paused when the only thing left covering your body was your panties. You save him the trouble and remove them yourself.

Despite the bold move, you can’t help the way your face burns when he stares. His amber eyes widen a fraction as he just stares down, not moving a muscle.

Several seconds pass by and you can’t help the feeling embarrassment flood your mind as you consider pulling your underwear back up and pretending this never happened. 

Then he finally moves.

His hand reaches out, fingers experimentally running along your slit. That has you shivering and arching forward.Curiously he pushes your lips apart, still staring in that scrutinizing way that makes you want to bury your face in your hands and hide from embarrassment. Then he’s pushing a finger inside and you can’t help but moan. It’s easy, so incredibly easy for him to push in until he’s knuckle deep inside. The slick noise it makes upon entry has your face burning. When he pulls it back out you can clearly see that his finger is covered with your arousal. He seems to be studying it just as intensely when he pushes it all the way back in, this time curling deep inside. You have to bite down on your lip hard to keep back the moan. The pleasure is clear on your face as well as in the way your body arches towards him. He takes it as affirmation to continue, pumping it in and out of you at a faster pace. It’s extraordinarily easy to add a second finger to the mix with how soaked you are.

“Get on with it already,” you finally snapped. Not that you weren’t enjoying what his fingers were doing to you. However, you would much rather prefer his dick at the moment. Especially when you’re not entirely convinced that this isn’t a dream. If you’re having a wet dream then you better damn well get fucked by his cock before you woke up.

It’s odd to see someone so confident falter for once. It lasts only a second before Felix is shedding his own underwear and let it drop onto the floor beside the bed.

You can’t help but stare, leaning back onto your elbows to really settle in and get a good view. It almost pisses you off that his determination to beat anyone in battle isn’t a compensation for this. You are, however, entirely grateful that you’re wet enough that it shouldn’t be too painful to fit inside. The smirk on his face showed exactly how proud he was of his own size. You’d probably smack that look off his face if you weren’t so eager to have his cock buried inside you.

Thankfully he didn’t keep you waiting for too long.

Settling down between your legs, he gave a subtle buck of his hips. Your head is thrown back against the pillow when he glides between your lower lips. Your arousal coats his length, making the movement even easier when he does it a second time and then a third. You’re not entirely sure whether he doesn’t know how to put it in or if he’s teasing you. Most likely the latter but it could still be both. 

You take matters into your own hands. Literally.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you grab his cock. Before guiding it towards your entrance, you give it a few swift pumps which has him growling. However he does seem grateful for the guidance as he finally pushes his hips forward, his cock sinking into you. Both of you moan at the same time as he fills you up. It’s faster than what you’re ready for and there’s a dull pain accompanying the satisfaction of being filled. Without realizing it, you’re clinging to him, the palms of your hands flush against his back.

Felix’s hands grasp at the sheets on either side of you and you swear you can hear a tearing sound when his nails dig in. There’s no way to read his expression when he presses his face down against your neck. You can tell it’s gotta be a sight with the way his body slightly trembles beneath your hands.

Seconds pass and finally he moves again, drawing his hips back only to slam back into you. You hiss out in pain, still not fully adjusted. As retaliation you dig your nails into the flesh of his back. The action does nothing to deter him as he bucks into you again and again. He’s quick to find a rhythm that fits him well. Hard and fast. The pain quickly turns to pleasure as you grow used to the rough movements. One of your hands slipped between your bodies to furiously rub at your clit. If this was a normal occurrence maybe you would have turned this into a challenge, determined to hold out until he came first. Right now you were too desperate and so damn close that you couldn’t find the time to care. The closest thing was the way the two of you muffled your own noises. 

One especially hard and deep thrust was enough to shove you right over the edge. Your nails dug down further, practically clawing down his back as your orgrasm wrecked you. Your vision blurred as the sensation of Felix pounding into you only intensified your own climax.

Even after you came down from your high, he wouldn’t let up. If anything he seemed even more determined. Only for a few seconds did he pause just to pull your legs over his shoulders. Finally you could see the way his face flushed in pure pleasure. His eyes were narrowed in focus as he returned to his previous pace. Your eyes nearly rolled into the back of your head at how deep this angle allowed him to go. The sound of skin slapping against skin is too damn lewd and has you growing even wetter than you already were. Already you could feel another orgasm rising to the surface. The way you had soaked his cock in your cum only made it that much easier for him to slip in and out. 

This time it was his teeth sinking into the spot where your shoulder and neck met that sent you crashing over the edge. Tears pooled at the corner of your eyes as you cried out. It only got better when he gave a few more quick thrusts before spilling inside you. That’s when he broke the skin with his teeth.

Both of you are breathing heavily when he finally pulls back to stare down at you. You’re sure your hair is an absolute mess and that blood has begun to form where his bite punctured your flesh. There’s probably a blotchy, ugly blush on your face, but the way he’s looking at you right now makes you feel like the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“You know. I never thought you’d need help training with sex,” you attempted humor when you could no longer stand his quiet stare.

He pulled the pillow from beneath your head, letting it thump against the sheets only to smack you over the face with it.

“Shut up.”

[babybluebex]

sunshine (rami malek)

dad!rami melts my heart so here have this i’m in my feels and have baby fever and this was originally a deacy thing but i changed it to rami bc we as a fandom deserve dad!rami now i’m rambling LOL 

song: electric love by børns

word count: 2448

My hands were shaking and I could barely breathe. Rami didn’t deserve this sort of thing. He was in London filming No Time To Die, he didn’t need any distractions. His character, the villainous Safin opposite Agent 007, was so different from his usual goofy self, and he usually stayed in character because of how difficult it was to slip in and out of the role. When I told him that I was pregnant, I knew that he would drop everything and come back to me, and while that was the dream response, I couldn’t ask that of him. It wasn’t fair not to tell him, though.

I grabbed my phone and carefully dialed my boyfriend’s number, and I waited as I listened to the dial tone. The time difference meant that his day was over and I hated to wake him up from a much-needed sleep, but it couldn’t wait.

The call was answered, and I heard Rami mumble, “Stella? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, umm...” I began. “I just... Hell. I just found out that, uh... You have to promise me that you stay in London. You can’t drop everything, I can handle this by myself. Promise me, Ram.”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise,” Rami said sleepily. “What’s up?”

“I...” I began and dug my fingernails into my palms. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Rami said. “Wait, hold on. You’re pregnant?”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Stella!” Rami exclaimed and laughed. “Seriously?”

“I wouldn’t joke, Rami,” I said with a light chuckle.

“And you really expect me to stay here?” Rami asked. “Are you crazy? How far along are you?”

“Just passed the first trimester,” I said. “I had no clue at all, I just thought it was my meds or whatever, but... Rami. We’re gonna have a boy.”

Rami’s laughter was unbridled glee. “A boy?” He repeated. “A boy! Stella, a boy... Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Why’re you thanking me?” I asked.

“Because you’re giving me a baby!” Rami said. “A boy... Oh, wow. Shit, I promised you I would stay here. Be really careful, yeah? And call Sami, he and his wife’ll help you until I can get home.”

“Okay,” I chuckled. “I know it’s late, I’ll let you sleep.”

Rami scoffed. “As if I can sleep now with the image of a pregnant you in my head,” he said. “Do you have a name in mind?”

“I was thinking Saïd,” I said softly. “Share a name with his Baba.”

“I’m Baba,” Rami laughed. “I’m a dad. Oh, goddamn it, Stella. I love you so much. So much.”

Now came the part that I was really concerned about. “I...” I started. “My family will hate it and so will yours, but I don’t wanna get married because of him. I dunno, I just don’t want that.”

“Okay,” Rami agreed. “Done. I love you so much, you know that? Filming’s gonna end soon and I’ll be home and we’ll do this together.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Rami said. “I’m gonna try to sleep, but I don’t make many promises.” 

“Sounds good,” I laughed. “Goodnight, Ram. Sleep well.”

“Thank you so much, Stella,” Rami said. “Again, thank you.” 

The second and third trimester passed like it was nothing. Rami got home a few weeks into the second, just in time to see my bump start to grow, and, in the middle of LAX, he dropped to his knees and kissed my belly. He was such a goof, but I loved how deeply he cared for our baby. 

The press got hold of the news quickly, and soon Rami was being bombarded with questions. We decided to keep the gender a secret, only divulging that we did in fact have a name picked out. Rami insisted on painting our spare bedroom for Saïd, and we chose a nice soft blue for the walls.

My mother was less than thrilled when we told her. She was happy, of course, but the fact that Rami and I were not going to get married or even engaged vexed her. Rami’s mother was more of the same, but she came to terms with it the first time she felt Saïd kick her hand.

Rami was such a dutiful father-to-be. He helped me stand up when my back hurt, massaged my shoulders for me, always made sure I was eating enough. Every night before bed, we had a small tradition where Rami would lay between my legs with his mouth pressed against my belly, and he would whisper to his son and tell him about his day. Sometimes they would ‘talk’ for almost an hour. I watched Rami as he did this, the way his muscles flexed under his skin as he situated himself to better speak to his son, the twinkle in his blue eyes when a gentle kick came to his cheek, and how he ran his fingers through his dark curls with bemusement once every five minutes. It was still hard for him to believe that he was going to be a father, and Saïd was already a spoiled little boy, just by his father’s love.

My due date was in early June. Our sweet summer boy was only a few weeks away. I made my way into the kitchen and sighed loudly, and I said, “Rami. No, sir, not today.”

“Why not?” Rami asked curiously. He moved the pan off of the stove and came over to me and he gently kissed my messy hair.

“It’s your birthday, jackass,” I chuckled. “I’m supposed to treat you to breakfast. Or did you miss that memo?”

“Didn’t miss it,” Rami shrugged. “Just decided to ignore it. Anyway, I like taking care of you two. Making you and Saïd breakfast is the least I can do.”

I sighed. “Fine,” I grumbled. I slowly sat myself down at the table, and Rami delivered me a cup of hot tea with a kiss on my nose. The whole no-caffeine thing was a real killer but, after eight months, I had gotten used to the taste of decaf everything. I took a sip of the tea and said, “The first thing I’m gonna do once the munchkin’s out is have a cup of coffee.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Rami said. “Any specific coffee I can pick up for your first cup?”

“Surprise me,” I mumbled sleepily. My back spasmed in pain, and I clenched my teeth together. “Hi, baby,” I whispered and rubbed my belly. An aching back was always the signal that Saïd was awake. “Good morning, little man.”

“He awake?” Rami asked.

“Yeah,” I said. Rami abandoned what he was doing to come kneel down by my chair, and he lifted my t-shirt to see my belly. It was covered in dark stretch marks, but he always took care to kiss every single one every night as he talked to Saïd. He never wanted me to feel bad about any part of myself— ever, really, but especially when I was giving him “the best gift” that he could ask for.

“Hey, you,” Rami cooed. “Are you awake? Gonna kick for me?”

My back ached again, and I reached down and massaged my lower back with my fingertips. “God, this sucks,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Rami said softly. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Umm...” I began and stopped suddenly. My pants felt damp. That wasn’t unusual, because I had begun to sweat like a pig during the night, but it was strange that the butt of my pants was dry and my thighs were wet. I looked down in confusion, and I pushed Rami away quickly. Jesus, I did not want him sitting in a puddle of pre-labor fluid. Not pre; I was in labor. “Fuck.”

“What?” Rami asked quickly. “What’s wrong?”

“My water just broke,” I said slowly. “I can’t go to the hospital until contractions are about four minutes apart, so start timing them for me. I’ll be—“ I paused to grunt at the pain. “Slightly distracted.”

“Holy shit, Stells,” Rami said quickly. “Okay, I’ll call Sami and let him know, and— Is that a contraction? Right now?”

“According to Lamaze classes, yes,” I said. I stood up carefully and took Rami’s hands, and I said, “Apparently, Saïd does not wanna miss your birthday.”

Rami laughed. “He sure doesn’t,” he said. “Tell me when the next one starts. I’ll get you some new clothes and pack a bag.”

—

I was in the hospital by lunchtime. The contractions were nowhere as painful as Grey’s Anatomy made them out to be; they hurt like hell, don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t shrieking in agony. A small grunt of pain, but that was about it. I was in a private room— probably because of Rami’s celebrity— and Rami sat next to my bed, holding my hand. We had his phone tilted up and were watching various documentaries on Netflix to pass the time, and then a knock came on the door. The door opened just a peek to show a pair of blue eyes, and I grinned. “Hey, Sam,” I said cheerfully. “How were your classes?”

“I was distracted as hell all day,” Sami laughed. “I got the call from Ram before second block and that just messed up my concentration for the rest of the day. But how are you guys?”

“Good,” I said. “A little tired, but excited.”

“That’s great,” Sami said. “It’s good that you both are calm. When Rosie was born, all bets were off for me.”

I nodded. I remembered Sami being a hot mess the day his daughter was born, and the memory brought a smile to Rami’s face. “You might be waiting a while,” he told his twin. “The doctors say it won’t happen until tomorrow morning if we’re lucky.”

“That’s fine,” Sami said. “I have no problem with that.” 

“Happy birthday, Sami,” I chuckled.

“That would be really funny,” Sami said. “If Saïd was born today. Three birthdays on the same day in the same family.”

“Yeah, don’t jinx it,” Rami chuckled. “Bri texted me and said he’d be coming by soon.”

“Dr. May?” I clarified, and Rami nodded. He and Brian had grown incredibly close since BoRhap, even to the point where we asked him and his wife to be Saïd’s godparents; they accepted without hesitation. “Ah, that’ll be nice. He’s such a cool guy.”

Saïd decided to make his appearance before Brian could show up. The contractions became longer and tougher, forcing a few hard breaths from my lungs, and panic began to set it when the midwife made Rami and Sami leave the room. “He’s the— Rami’s the father,” I protested quickly. “Can’t he stay?”

“We’ll get him scrubbed up and he’ll be back soon, dear,” a gentle nurse told me, but that didn’t stop my eyes welling up with tears.

Rami squeezed my hand once more before being ushered away. Soon after that, I had my epidural, and I was only mentally half in the room after that. Rami came back, all dressed up in sterile scrubs, and he held my hand and encouraged me the whole time. “Good job, good job,” he whispered to me. He brushed my hair off of my forehead and kissed my cheek, and he said, “Doc’s saying to push, Stella. C’mon, you can do it. Good, good, just like that.”

I was more aware of what Rami was doing than what I was doing. I watched a mixture of surprise and happiness flit across his face, and I distantly heard a nurse exclaim, “It’s a girl!”

“A girl?” I asked. “We were told...?”

All thoughts left my head as the nurse tugged down the neck of my gown and laid my daughter on my bare chest. She was wailing, her olive skin all wrinkled up, a soft swirl of black on the top of her head. I cooed at her and kissed her forehead, and her wails died down to small hiccups. “Clara,” I whispered. “Clara?”

Rami smiled. He was crying, and he leaned down and kissed my lips. “Clara,” He said when he pulled away. “My gorgeous, gorgeous little Clara.”

Clara was taken to be cleaned and weighed, and Rami held me tightly. “You did it,” he said. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I whispered. “And Clara. Clara Malek.”

“No, she’d have your last name,” Rami said. “Clara Lee.”

“No,” I said softly. “I know I said I didn’t wanna get married, but that was before Clara was a tangible human. I can’t imagine not being married to you as we raise her.”

“This is the best birthday I’ve ever had, no debate,” Rami said with a smile.

Clara was brought back quickly, and she was swaddled up in a delicate yellow blanket with a knitted yellow cap over her small head. She was quiet now, her plump lips forming a perfect o as she breathed, her olive skin filled with a red blush of blood and life. I held her closely and kissed her head, and I carefully gave her to Rami. He looked down at her, a spitting image of himself, and I swear that I have never seen him more in love with anything or anyone. “Clara,” He said softly. “I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you, ya hear me? Baba will protect you until the day I die.”

Sami came in and fawned over Clara, holding her and commenting on her little dimpled cheeks. Sami’s wife took a picture of him holding her, then she said, “Ram, Stells, would you like a picture?”

“Sure,” I said. “I look like a mess but I wanna capture the moment.”

Rami was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed as I held Clara, burying a kiss in my messy and sweaty hair. His eyes were closed blissfully and I smiled down at Clara with every ounce of love in my body. My sweet little daughter.

Rami uploaded the picture to his Instagram after a nearly year-long drought of uploads. ​Hello all​, he captioned it. Help me welcome Clara Habibah Malek. We were told that Clara was to be a boy and we planned on the name Saïd Christopher, but she decided on surprising us. Clara is what we came up with for the replacement for Saïd, and Habibah is Arabic for beloved child. It feels accurate, because she has a whole world of people who love her. Thank you all for supporting us on this journey, and we hope that you stay with us. Sincerely, Rami Malek and Stella Malek. 

[bubblyani]

Sober Up Pt. 2

(Klaus x Reader)

Part 2 of Klaus Hargreeves Two Shot

Read Part 1

Summary: As Klaus’ friend, you try to get him to sober up. But it’s a lot more complicated when you are secretly harboring feelings for him, 

Warnings: Slight swearing (barely..)  & Sexual themes

Author’s Note: This certainly did feel like it deserved a part 2, and I fully appreciate the response. It is safe to say Klaus makes me feel things deeply, so i hope you understand the direction i went with. Enjoy TUA fandom!

(1 month ago) “Y/N! I love you…all you need to do is say it back…easy!”

“I…I can’t…” you stuttered, as your mind went completely blank. “Well why not?…” he started to get impatient, “Y/N why NOT?” You gulped, exhaling deeply, unable to answer. A few seconds later, you noticed him change his expression. “Is there someone else?…” Helpless as always, you looked away. “I’m sorry…” rubbing your temples hard, you faced the horrible ending that will soon come to pass.  

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(Present) “Sober enough now?” “You could say that…”

As you stared at him, you had a good feeling that you’ve been quiet, for a few seconds longer than you should. “Good…” you said, patting his chest  “Fucking finally” you stressed out. Looking down, Klaus burst out into a loud chuckle right after, which made you narrow your eyebrows. “What?” You asked, later joining him in the laughter. “It’s just that…” he began, looking back up at you, “It’s been a while since I heard you swear…” he continued, making you raise your eyebrows, “…and it’s… kinda hot” You couldn’t help but scoff into a chuckle, shaking your head. “Yeah…” you said, extending your hands, you flipped your hair in mockery, “… right…Ah!-” The dramatic hair flip seemed dramatic enough, that you leaned too far for you to fall back. Fortunately Klaus grabbed you, quick enough to pull you back. The pull back was strong, your foreheads rested on one another.

“Uh…Thank you” you whispered, suddenly feeling your face burn as you were that close to his lips once again. He did not respond, but merely stared into your eyes with his green ones instead. You felt his lips calling for you, tempting you for another taste. But why this all the sudden? Unless..you wondered.

“Why the kiss?” Klaus asked, out of the blue. And you suddenly woke up from the hypnosis. “Huh?” You said, as your forehead decided remain on its own with no help. “You know…” Klaus began,  “You could have said…slap you sober” he imitated a slap, “…or even punch you sober” motioning a punch later on. You nodded in acknowledgement. “But why kiss?” He asked you once again, his tone brimming with genuine curiosity.

You struggled to answer, “Uh…I…” he was right. You could have said anything else, simply anything. But this was certainly a surprise. The only problem was, you did not know the answer either. “Klaus…” you began “I…” you tried so hard to find the words. You begged for your heart to rescue you. Klaus waited for your answer. Inhaling deeply, you began:  

“I gotta pee…” You said meekly, as you brought your hands together, “Can I just..?”
Klaus gasped, “Yeah of course” a look of embarrassment came over him. “I’m sorry…” you said apologetically, slowly getting up. “No! It’s fine…” he replied with prompt. You stood up with your hands still together, “I’ll be right back” you quipped, tip toeing over to the nearest toilet.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shutting the door behind you, exhaling deeply, you placed your hands on the sink as you stared yourself in the mirror. “Gotta pee?…what a lame excuse Y/N!” You said, pointing at yourself with a tone of disappointment. Sighing, you rubbed your eyes, proceeding to splash your face with some water. As you dried your face off with a paper towel, you wondered: Was it finally time to admit it? Was today the day to come clean to him , and most importantly to yourself? Because what just happened a few minutes ago, was no ordinary incident. Surprisingly it was the most extraordinary incident that occurred during all the years of friendship you both shared. Exhaling calmly, you rubbed your hands together, psyching yourself up cause you knew you needed it. “Okay…let’s do this” you muttered to yourself, opening the door. The walk towards the living room suddenly felt longer and more nerve wrecking, but you were almost there. Only to find Klaus was not. “Hello?”  You said, as you looked around cautiously, suddenly more nervous than you should. Yet no sound. As huge as this house was, you suddenly felt more alone without a single clue of what happened to the occupants here. You heard some footsteps approach. “Oh!” You turned, a smile forming on your face by the sight of a living soul, “Pogo…” “Hello Ms.Y/N” He greeted formally, in his British accent, “If you were looking for the others, then I’m sorry but you missed them” he said, pointing towards the entrance. “They all went out?” You asked, not surprised. Pogo nodded, “I’m afraid so…an emergency of sorts-” “Even Klaus? He joined them?” You asked, your voice filled with curiosity. The monkey stared at you with confusion, “I believe so, yes…” even more confused when you broke into a huge smile.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Upon returning to the house, Klaus felt Diego pat him on the shoulder. “Thanks man,  for saving my life earlier” he said. Klaus smiled at his brother. 
“And you’re sober too…that’s nice to see” Diego remarked as they both entered the living room, suddenly making Klaus drop his jaw in realization. 
“Y/N…shit” he muttered to himself, as he found no trace of you there. Suddenly he started to feel a bit agitated, clenching his fists, he began storming in.   “Klaus!” Diego cried after him. “Master Klaus…You’re back.” Pogo appeared, “Actually-” “Not now Pogo…” they heard Klaus reply as he disappeared from their view.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Though it appeared messy, you still felt comfortable in Klaus’ old bedroom. A part of you could not help but pick up the clothes that were scattered across the floor as you walked around. And whatever you did, you did it with a smile on your face. A shriek came out of you as you jumped in shock, when the bedroom bursted opened with a loud thud. Klaus sighed in relief as he stood there by the door, “I thought you left”. “No, I…I was waiting” you replied, only realizing how you still held your breath. Exhaling peacefully afterwards, you both looked at each other, smiling as if you both were happy to see each other again. “So…” you began, “What happened? I couldn’t find you before…” “ Well, we heard from Five, and he needed our help ” Klaus said, closing the door behind him, “But then Diego got in some trouble but…” he stressed on the last word upon seeing your worried expression, “…I managed to save him” Your eyes widened with surprise, “Oh my god…No way!”  He nodded in acknowledgement with proud look on his face, “I’m so gonna need the details but…That’s amazing!”  You felt your smile reach the furthest corners of your face with ease, with your eyes twinkling. “And…” you just realized, “… you didn’t do…?” “…No…actually I didn’t…still sober” he replied, “Really? ” he watched you respond with a clap, “See?…this shows you can really do this you know…” you continued, feeling enthusiastic as you felt hope coursing through your veins, “I’m so proud of you”

“Really?” Klaus could not believe what he heard. You nodded furiously. “Yeah..I am” you replied, “…Come here you” you said, extending your arms as you both walked towards each other to an embrace.

Being in Klaus’ arms always brought you warmth and comfort. He was a very good hugger, which made it even better. But this warmth along with his soft locks of hair brushing against your shoulder, reminded you of what happiness actually felt like, what it felt like to care with all your heart. And as he pulled you in closer, and allowed your body to press against his, fitting perfectly, you felt something in you drop and set free. And apparently, so did Klaus.

Pulling back slowly, it all felt so delicate. A part of you did not want to part with his frame, so you just stood there. Looking down shyly, the both of you leaned against each other’s foreheads once again. As if fairy dust of temptation was sprinkled on each other’s lips as they remained inches away. This was definitely new, The fairy dust suddenly felt like a magnet, making it harder for each other to keep their distance. Being this close, you were at the mercy at those lips you dared to make a move on today. And fortunately Klaus Hargreeves was feeling particularly generous, as he suddenly swooped in clashing his lips on yours.

“Klaus I-” you breathed. “Shhh-” and he was not hesitant to cut you off, distracting you with his kiss. You could not believe this was happening again. Except this time it was out of pure necessity.

You felt your legs turn to jelly when he pulled you in closer by the waist, as if there was anymore space between the two of you that needed to be closed off. You complied without fail as Klaus backed you slowly over to his bed, allowing you to fall back on it with a soft thud. It did not take too long for him to crawl on top of you, reuniting with your hungry lips.

Your fingers seemed to have missed his hair, for they were quick to tangle themselves in his head, pulling him closer to you. Apart from the pleasure, your body was on a sacred journey. For the second your tongues enveloped and emoted with passion, you silently wished for the final drops of poison in his system to vanish for life. You felt these kisses have gone so deep, that you longed to hold his hand, hold it tight and jump in to the deepest corners, as long as you were together. Kisses so deep, you felt your lips connect into one. A lifetimes worth of emotion put into this moment, the energy did not seem to run out.

You were entirely lost in this passionate form of affection, that you had little idea when Klaus’ hand dipped under your shirt. You moaned as it crawled up, but finally opened your eyes in surprise when he made the daring effort of pushing your bra up, finally cupping your breast.

“Oh…” you broke off, feeling his warm hand on the unexpected place, “That escalated quickly huh?…” you breathed, hinting amusement. However, Klaus’ eyes were heavily dosed with lust, which made you blush into seriousness, “Do you want me to stop?” He whispered. Before he managed to remove his hand, you felt yourself push his palm back down, shaking your head swiftly but desperately. Shaky breaths exited you, and you pressed your thighs together in frustration when he showed his gratitude,  his fingertips lightly brushing across your breast, later proceeding to encircle , roll on and gently pull your fully erect nipple. All the while his lust-filled eyes watched you react to each move with generosity.

“Klaus..Mmm-” you moaned before his lips attacked the crook of your neck. And suddenly he surprised you even further when he moved downwards, pulling your t-shirt high enough to rest his lips on your clenched stomach, kissing every inch of your exposed skin with devotion along with his hums of satisfaction. This felt like a dream, a fantasy for you assumed this to be unattainable. You’ve never felt this vulnerable in front of him… ever. The moment you felt Klaus’ hands hold on to the waist band of your jeans, the second you felt him undo the button, something hit you.

“Klaus! Wait!” you said, looking up at him, causing  his hands to leave your body as if they were on fire. A look of confusion washed over him when you slowly sat up. Your lips were swollen, Your skin was burning along with the region between your thighs. Quite frankly, you could completely surrender to him right now. But instead you took a different route.

Followed by a deep breath, you pressed your lips together before you spoke.

“You asked me earlier, why the kiss...” you said. Seeing him nod in response, you continued , “Well … Why did you kiss back?” You asked, your gaze intensified as you inhaled, “Why kiss again? What’s all this??..” you continued, pointing at each other, “ Why… would you make me… feel... like this?” your tone softened by the sheer thought of his touch on you.

By his speechless reaction, you could tell he was as confused as you were. Or was he as frightened as you were to spill the truth? And what version of the truth would he reveal?

Klaus exhaled nervously, finally looking into your eyes for stability. “I would be lying…if I said that I haven’t cared for you, cause I have…more than a friend” he said. Your eyes widened, this was certainly not what you expected, “A-and you’re saying this now??” You were even more surprised when you saw Klaus scoff in response,

“Y/N…What could I do?” his eyes twinkled, “ ever since I knew you…you were always with someone …whenever I’d see you, there was always someone..and …I didn’t wanna be a dick and ruin everything-”

You remained mute, for he had a point. Klaus continued, “ But here you are now…I’m seeing you again after Dad is gone and…you’re broken up with Brad-”

“Brett” you corrected, “Whatever…” he said, “ and…there you were…kissing me.” He laughed out of disbelief of its actual possibility, “ Heheh..kissing me sober. It was… incredible Y/N…I can’t believe I’m sober…and that I’m fine with it” you swore you were spellbound by Klaus’ smile, and his enthusiasm as he spoke. So you couldn’t help but smile yourself.

“You have always been the one constant happiness in my life Y/N…” he said, reaching out to hold your hand. You felt warmth spread through your body the moment those words reached your ears, covering you up like a blanket, “And you were finally there, right in front of me…So could you blame me?” Klaus said, running his thumb along your palm.

Even the lightest, simplest touch affected you greatly, as Klaus Hargreeves poured his heart out in to a glass and there he was, prepared to give a toast.

“You know…” you began, “Brett proposed to me…” you said shyly.

The thumb froze. The look of dejection in Klaus’ face was something you have not seen before, jaw slightly dropped, he looked helpless.

“It was a month ago…” you took a deep breath, that fateful exchange haunting you, “but I turned it down”

As you scoffed, you could not fathom the life you had, “I almost got engaged…can you believe it? Someone finally decided to want to spend their life with me…and I just…blew it” looking down, you just realized Klaus had not released your hand yet. “Horrible….I was horrible. For a while I wondered whether something was actually wrong with me, to be in so many relationships only to lose them all…”

“Y/N…” Klaus held your hand tightly, the tone of his voice laced with sadness, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that-”

“You’re sorry?” Your tone raised, in disbelief  yourself,  “I should be the one to apologize…” your free hand rested on your chest, for you felt your heart might break, “I should have been there for you…the way you had to deal things with the drugs..and-” you paused, with a heavy sigh. “Whoever I was with, when I got to the serious part, suddenly I couldn’t make a decision that they wanted me to make. Suddenly everyone was not good enough, suddenly everyone was not worth it, cause they were not…you”

You finished your sentence with a silent prayer.

Funny, you thought. When things actually go your way sometimes, you find it so hard to believe. You identified that with Klaus as well. His eyes, smudged with eyeliner, did not fail to emote his innocent surprise to this new information. As you slowly inched closer to him, standing up to sit on his lap afterwards, you felt the bottled up feelings pour down into your goblet with great care.

Heaven knows how many times you tried to move on, but every time you did take the first step forward away , you were afraid to take the other one, for he was there at the other one, and you did not want to leave him there alone.

You cupped his face, drinking up the beauty he was as you took a deep breath, “You have no idea how amazing you are Klaus…” your voice almost broke, “…and If I can tell you that everyday I would”  the vision almost blurred as you felt your eyes water, “…If I can be that voice in your head to drive away all the pain, I would. I would do any-”

“I love you” Klaus breathed. You froze. Holy shit.

Noticing your sudden change, Klaus cleared his throat nervously, “…I know this is crazy. I can understand if y-Oh!”

Impatience got the best of you as you interrupted him with a tight embrace, to which he returned in kind a few seconds later.

“I never…” you said, as you looked into his green orbs, “…I never wanted to hear that from anyone else ….but you” you brushed your nose with against his, “I love you Klaus” you said softly, smiling before kissing him with happiness you could shout from the rooftops.

Straddling him, you held each other gently yet tightly , both chuckling into your kisses. The kisses which were filled with passion you could finally explore with liberty, the kisses with no regrets, the kisses that held nothing back, the kisses that were clear as day, finally all sobered up.

———————————————————————

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[ghostyprince]

title: falling for you is as easy as falling asleep

word count: 3.064 rating: T fandom: BuzzF. Uns. relationship: Ryan B./Shane M. summary: Shane and Ryan seem to keep falling asleep on each other and they're forced to confront their feelings. author’s note: I wrote something disgustingly cute again, and I'm only a little bit sorry. Also, no person should be allowed to use this much italics, but here I am.

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Shane hates planes. They've only been sitting there for like an hour and his legs are already cramping. It's not his fault he's so tall he literally has to fold himself to fit into the seats properly. He's not particularly claustrophobic, but he'd probably die if he'd have to sit next to the window for three painfully long hours. Luckily, Ryan offers to take the window seat every time they have to step foot on a plane together, so Shane can relax a little throughout the flight. Ryan has been softly snoring next to him, for like fifteen minutes by then, tired from probably being up all night. Shane tilts his head to look at him, to take it all in. The way his glasses slid down all the way to the tip of his nose, or how his eyelashes flutter every now and then. The curve of his cheeks, and his sharp jawline, it all makes his heart want to escape his ribcage. He knows he's being pretty damn creepy and should fucking stop staring at his friend because it's far from being a normal friend thing to do. Although, if someone would catch a glimpse of him staring at Ryan, they'd most likely just think the little guy has a dopey boyfriend. Especially because the face he makes while watching Ryan snore away, could be probably best described as disgustingly love-struck, so Shane finally tears his gaze away while he still has a little dignity left. Only a little.

He hates himself so much for falling for Ryan because it was never supposed to happen, they are such good friends, the ghoulboys, a package deal. But then again, who could expect him to not fall for this literal sunshine of a human being next to him?

As if on cue, a soft weight landed on Shane's shoulder, and when he turns to look down, he sees Ryan's black curls, and his goofy sleeping face pressed against his arm. Shane's mind goes momentarily offline, he even forgets to breathe for a few seconds at least. He was so so screwed. Should he wake up Ryan? He probably shouldn't. Ryan needed the sleep, that's been established that already. And it's fine, really. Two guys can sleep on each other's shoulders, it's fine. Friends do that all the time, right?

It's not really fine though, not when he's very attracted to said person in every way possible, but Shane thought that's beside the point. After long long minutes of him sitting very still, Ryan moves. Shane was almost relieved, thinking his friend finally woke up and he'll withdraw his head from his shoulder and they'll have an awkward laugh about it later.

Apparently, Ryan hadn't gotten the memo, so instead of waking up, like he was supposed to, he tilts up his face, leaning on Shane more, nose pressing into his neck. Ryan's soft little breaths tickle his neck, and goddammit, Shane prays that a hole would open up under him and swallow him down into hell or something. He doesn't remember his face ever feeling so hot before. An older lady in the seat next to them gives him a small smile, probably thinking they were dating and that deepened the flush on Shane's face even more.

Later Ryan would wake up, stammer out an apology as he would move away from Shane, looking everywhere but his friend's eyes. Shane might act calmly at the time, dismissive even, but inside his head, he is very much freaking out.

-

Ryan thought he could get over that one time he fell asleep on Shane a few weeks prior. It shouldn't have been a big deal, right? And yet he can't stop thinking about it. Every single time his mind goes idle his brain injects the memory back into his brain. The warmth of Shane, he could feel it even through his jacket, the smell of his detergent, and how close they were. He could've just moved his head up a little and - Ryan makes a small, frustrated noise, as he throws himself back against the backseat of the car slightly, hands gripping the hem of his denim jacket so tightly, his knuckles have gone white. It's fucking stupid.

He flinches when the car door opens and Shane enters. His heart jumped into his throat, and it sure as hell wasn't just from being startled by Shane. Irrational as it is, he almost thought Shane could hear his thoughts somehow so he awkwardly fishes out his phone from his pocket and starts scrolling through social media mindlessly, while Shane settles next to him and Ryan is hyper-aware of their thighs brushing just a bit. He only looks up when Shane lets out a heavy sigh and sinks lower in his seat, having to fold his impossibly long legs up a little. He's rubbing at his eyes, clear glasses pushed up to his forehead.

"Are you okay, dude?" Ryan asks, concerned. Shane only grunts, which isn't really an answer, but before Ryan could mention that fact he actually speaks, voice low and hoarse.

"Yeah, yeah. Meds got the best of the good ol' Madej boy, ya know." He chuckles, and Ryan laughs with him. He says even more stupid shit when he's high on DayQuil, it's gonna be one hell of an episode, that's for sure.

"Good to know the flu hadn't taken a toll on your humor, big guy." Ryan snorts, patting his arm. It was a subconscious move, his damn brain acting before he could register what he was doing. Shane seemed too worn down to care though. He had his eyes closed, and head tipped back, Ryan has to resist the urge to stare at the long line of his neck, the bob of his adam's apple as he swallowed. There is really no need to be so thirsty, Bergara, his brain tried to reason. The only indication he heard Ryan is a twitch of his lips, turning into a small smile.

Ryan takes a shuddery breath and tears his gaze away from the jut of his collar bone before his thoughts could wonder even further, he looks at Shane's face instead. He seems to be asleep already, slumped into his seat in a very uncomfortable looking position. Ryan feels almost pissed, as he carefully removes Shane's glasses that stayed perched on top of his head, forgotten. Was Shane this tired and miserable the whole time? Why didn't he say anything? Ryan asked him before they even left their hotel rooms if Shane would be okay, but he kept insisting he was feeling much better than he did the whole week. Bullshit, Ryan scoffs silently.

Shane's gonna get a piece of his mind for sure when he won't be so out of it. Just so he can experience the full effect of Ryan's lecturing. For now, he thinks he should just let him rest. Maybe Ryan can sleep a bit too, on the way to the hotel.

And that was the plan, but like Shane usually does with Ryan's plans, he chucked it straight out the window as soon as they started their car ride back to the hotel. It didn't even take four to five minutes for him to shift in his sleep and slump right on Ryan, who found himself head tucked under Shane's chin, holding up most of his body weight. Thank fuck for the darkness of the car,  because Ryan was pretty sure he was blushing furiously on top of it all.

Devon snapping a picture of them while trying to muffle her giggles with her free hand only made matters worse. Ryan makes a show of giving her and TJ (who is grinning too, after taking one look at their cuddled up form in the mirror) the stink eye. What a bunch of assholes, their friends were.

They stayed like that, all the way to the hotel and Ryan was almost disappointed, when the car stopped. He nearly fell asleep too, having relaxed into Shane after a few minutes, exhaustion took overpowering his embarrassment and worry. He actually couldn't care less they were basically cuddling on the backseat. It was nice even.

Okay, Ryan was really fucking disappointed when the car stopped.

Both TJ and Devon left, giving them a bit of space which Ryan is grateful for. Waking up Shane will be awkward as it is without an audience. He remembers the plane incident again and cringes internally. Yepp, it's gonna be just like that. He slowly starts pulling away from Shane, and carefully shaking his shoulder at the same time.

"Hey, big guy. We're here." He tells Shane softly when slightly unfocused brown eyes meet his.

"Wha-? Ry?" The nickname makes Ryan's stomach flip, or more like the thought that it inspired. Waking up next to Shane like this, all sleepy and warm, murmuring Ryan's name. It's disgustingly domestic, he couldn't even believe his brain has the audacity to come up with such things. And yet, he can't stop smiling.

Shane's brain finally seems to catch up with him, and he's scurrying away from Ryan like he's been burned. It does make Ryan's smile drop a little. Shit, Shane's probably uncomfortable, and here he is, daydreaming about situations that would never in a million years happen.

"Sorry, I wasn't- I didn't- I didn't mean to lean on you." Shane blurted out after some stumbling over his words. Ryan has never seen him so panicked, eyes so wide and dare he say, scared. It straight up unsettled him. Shane has always been his comfort on ghost hunts, never feeling the vibes Ryan felt, never afraid. Ryan really did think he was spook-proof sometimes, but maybe he was mistaken.

At least Shane didn't seem uncomfortable for the reasons Ryan thought he would. He almost looked flustered. Damn if it didn't make Ryan dizzy, the first waves of hope bubbling up his chest.

"Look, man, it's okay. You're tired as shit and high on pills on top of that. It's fine." Just to prove it really is fine, Ryan reached out, unusually brave when it was just the two of them in the car that's barely lit by the moon and the shitty lights of the hotel parking lot. He placed a hand on Shane's wrist, squeezing reassuringly.

And then Shane was smiling at him, that big goofy smile, that's just so Shane, always taking Ryan's breath away just like that. And at that moment he just knew that something changed, shifted between them. Like a door opened, waiting for one of them to finally take that final step inside.

It's because of that slight shift that Ryan decided to finally take matters in his own hands. He paid more attention to Shane, the way he looked at Ryan sometimes, when he thought he was distracted, the soft, almost proud smile he had on his face after making Ryan laugh.

He gathered all his courage, making his intentions as obvious as he dared. His casual touches lingered, to the point where he hoped it would stop coming off as casual, he didn't try to hide the way he was looking at Shane or leaning into him when the big guy made him laugh so hard he could barely hold himself up.

If only Shane would've stopped shutting him out and running away all the damn time Ryan started to cross the line of their friendship.

It made Ryan insecure. Maybe he read the whole situation wrong, after all? But part of him saw through Shane's disguise, he wasn't as sneaky as he thought he was. He could see the tension in his shoulders whenever Ryan touched him a little too long or tried to flirt with him, albeit kinda shittily. The redness to the tip of his ears. Even when he shook Ryan off, turning it into a joke, like they were just pals goofing around, there was always a moment of hesitation right before he did.

If only Ryan could be just a little braver.

-

It's like the universe grew tired of them dancing around each other, or it just really fucking hates Shane, he thinks, as they're both staring at the queen sized bed in their shared hotel room.

"They must've mixed up our room," Ryan says, and Shane nods numbly, lucky for him, Ryan continues before his brain has to scramble to provide some kind of answer.

"We could go down and ask if they could give us another room, but it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before. I have no problem with it if you don't."

Shane really thinks it's unfair how calm and unbothered Ryan sounds about the whole deal. Like Shane's heart isn't going wild at the thought of a half-naked Ryan Bergara next to him in bed. Give him ghosts and ghouls and demons, he'll fight them all, laugh in their stupid faces, but it's the thought of extending his friendship with Ryan to be a little more, now that's what freaks him out more than anything.

The sight of the big double bed almost startles Shane all over again as they shuffle inside the room much later that day, like he expected it to split apart in the middle and shift to opposite sides of the room while they were out and about. Though Shane had a feeling if that would've really happened he'd be just a tad bit disappointed, no matter how much overthinking and freaking out he did previously.

Tired and dust clinging to their hair and clothes after the ghost hunt, Ryan calls dibs on the shower and soon disappears behind the bathroom door. Shane almost forgets all about the whole bed situation by the time he's finished with cleaning himself off too. It's only when he steps out of the bathroom that his traitor brain makes the suggestion that wouldn't it be nice, coming home to the sight of that?

Of Ryan sprawled out on his stomach on the side of the bed he claimed, only wearing a slightly baggy t-shirt and soft looking sweatpants. And the way he turns his head towards Shane from where it was resting on his forearm previously, eyes glued to his phone, and giving him of those soft smiles Shane received a lot of lately, it honestly shouldn't be allowed.

Ryan's not half-naked at least like Shane thought he'd be, but if anything seeing him like that makes his heart twinge even more. He has to resist the urge to bury his fingers into Ryan's hair as he settles on the bed next to him, the soft, productless curls are falling on his forehead in a messy and very much inviting manner.

There is no pillow wall either, Shane noticed, it somehow feels symbolic, there are really no more invisible walls between them, Shane could just reach out and touch him, knowing that it might change everything and that thought makes his stomach turn. He sticks to his side of the bed, dangerously close to the edge of it, afraid that if he'd get too close he would be unable to control himself and do something reckless and stupid, despite his nerves.

"What?" Ryan asks, his tone is challenging and there is a look of mischief in his eyes having caught Shane staring.

Shane does what he always does best, and that's deflecting his feelings with jokes, locking them up momentarily.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about how scared you were today," he starts, lips curling into his usual Cheshire smile that never fails to get a rise out of his friend. "Like a wound up little chipmunk, you were, with your scared, beady eyes."

He does get a pillow to the face, but he also hears Ryan's wheezy laughter break the quiet of the room, and fuck if that isn't one of his favorite sounds. He pushes the pillow away, Ryan still holding onto it, so his arm is now resting on Shane's stomach. If he thought Ryan would move it away he was sorely mistaken. He looked up at Shane and as Shane looked back, right into those dark, warm eyes, all of his doubts and fear started to melt away.

"You're such a dick, Shane," Ryan tells him, voice full of fondness, and Shane silently moves his hand to brush a stray strand of hair that curls around Ryan's eyebrow. He finally buries his hand into Ryan's hair with the same motion, indulging in the softness of it in a sudden act of courage. Ryan makes a pleased noise at the back of his throat that sounds way too loud in the quiet of their room. When did their faces get so close to each other anyway?

Shane, for once, finds himself not wanting to run away. Like something snapped in him, finally pushing him over the edge, he let himself lean into it, and press his lips to Ryan's. It wasn't a world-changing kiss by any means, but Ryan sighed against his lips, relieved and Shane felt the warmth of it spreading through his body even in the tip of his fingers that were tangled in his hair, his other hand sliding up the arm resting on Shane's stomach.

They didn't talk after that, only sharing soft, lazy kisses as Shane blindly reached around to turn off the bedside lamp, Ryan let out a small laugh against his lips as he knocked his glasses off the table in the process.

And when Ryan was sleeping half on top of him, face pressed into the crook of Shane's neck, and with his arm still thrown around Shane's middle like he belonged there, in the circle of Shane's arms, that's when he finally relaxed. All the fear and anxiety of the past weeks, the past months seemed to just seep out of his body leaving nothing but a strange bundle of warmth behind that settled in his chest.

They'd have time to talk later, over some breakfast at a nearby Chipotle. Shane's hand would brush against Ryan's on top of the table, tucked up in the corner they chose for privacies sake. And Ryan's pinky would curl around Shane's, like a gentle promise that there will be so much more to do, so much to explore.

And it's a promise, an oath that they'll do it together.  

[shurisneakers]

espresso [6]

Summary: In which your best friend’s brother begins to set you up on dates when you mention that you haven’t been in a relationship in years, but things don’t go as expected.

Warning: swearing, near panic attacks, angst (?)

A/N: this is my entry for the exuberant @odinhson‘s writing challenge thank you to @samingtonwilson for beta-ing this for me

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous part- Part 5 || Espresso Masterlist

Becca: binch

Becca: if i don’t get my nourishment i will Wilt and Die

Becca: if i get out of this bed rn i will literally Cry

Becca: pls get me a coffee kind sir,,, i will be gr8ful

You: um

You: i’ll get it later ok lov u

Becca: wtf why

You: im going to meet fucky at the library

You: *bucky

Becca: youre going to meet my brother again?

You: yes he said he was studying there anyway so I could go meet him there

You: why

Becca: nothing it’s just

You: it’s just?

Becca: nvm it’s nothing go see that smelly bitch biscuit

Becca: but get me the drugs when u come back

_____________

The library was fairly populated for seven in the morning. And, though everyone looked like they could use at least a week’s worth of sleep, they trudged on.

Walking through the aisles, you let your fingers run over the spines of every book, relishing in the feel of their old leather under your touch. It didn’t take log before you found Bucky in the classics section, his back leaning against one of the bookshelves as he scanned the ones in front of him.

“Looking for something specific?” you asked quietly, making him snap his head towards you. He gave you a tired smile before reverting to his original state.

“The Catcher in the Rye. I wanted to borrow it again,” he sounded distant, like his mind was preoccupied.

“Again? You’ve read it more than once?”

“Three times,” he answered, eyes lighting up as he reached forward and grabbed an old, worn out book with a tearing paper cover. His fingers dusted it gently before he opened to the last page, his eyes skimming over the words.

“It’s your favourite book?”

 “I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite book, to be honest.” He flipped it, examining the cover from back to front. “Just the most memorable one. It sorta stuck with me throughout.”

“Why?” you asked curiously, watching as he flipped through the pages, seemingly searching for something within the lines.

“Don’t ask, it’s just gonna come off as pretentious as shit,” he chuckled, shking his head bemusedly, but you could detect a hint of something else behind his words. Bucky loved writing. He loved words. This book obviously meant a lot to him.

“I don’t know who hurt you Bucky Barnes, but I’d sure as fuck want to know why you love that book so much.” You heard a hush on the other side of the bookshelf, making you peep through the shelves only to catch the disapproving glare of the librarian who apparently caught you using unparliamentarily language.

“No one’s hurt me, it’s just-“ he paused to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, letting his hand linger there. “I didn’t think anybody would care.”

“Oh.” You nudged his foot with yours, making him look at you in surprise. “Well, I care, so go ahead.”

He eyes never left yours and you could see a faint blush spread across his cheeks. Cute ass motherfucker.

Wait-

“Um, I guess it’s kinda because– the thing is– see, I–“ his mouth was moving at a speed much swifter than his brain, you could see it. It was like he had so much to say, almost too much. You gave him an encouraging smile as he took a deep breath to calm himself down before beginning again.

“I’ve read it three times. Every single time it means something different to me, you know? It’s like the words are familiar but everything’s changed,” he tried to convey what he was thinking, but it was clearly something hard to talk about because Bucky rarely ever ran out of words.

“‘Don’t ever tell anyone anything, if you do you start missing everybody.’,” he recited from memory finally showing you the page he stopped on. You shuffled closer to him, leaning on his shoulder to get a better look at the book in his hand. “It’s really hard for me to let others in. Everything becomes too intimate and when they decide to pack up and leave because they can’t handle my shit, it just—it hurts. It’s one of my favorite quotes.”

“It’s beautiful,” you said softly, as he looked at you for a few seconds in silence, not making an attempt to say anything.

“Right, so-“ he cleared his throat, pulling away to put the book back where it belonged. “His name’s Loki. He’s slightly difficult at first, but all he needs is just a little love and attention and he’s good to go.”

“Are we talking about a succulent or a person?” You remained where you were, feeling strangely lightheaded. Bucky glanced at the big clock overhead before returning to you.

“You’ll see.” He winked, shifting from one foot to another. “Now go! I have an hour to spend with calculus and you are going to be late for your first class.”

“You got a shift at the coffee shop today? I could come see you after,” you asked, facing him while walking backwards, your feet moving automatically.

“Not tonight, fam. I’m busy,” he said, looking down just for a second.

“Whatcha up to, barista boy? You got a hot date?” you teased him lightly, shoving your fists into your pockets, delaying your exit.

“I do, actually,” he fired back, making you freeze in your tracks.

“You’re going on a date?” you asked incredulously, your eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Yeah. Met an old friend of mine last week and we’re going out tonight.” He shrugged, giving you a half smile.

“Oh shits.” Well, that was new. It had been ages since Bucky had gone out with someone. “Use protection, ya nasty. Don’t want any mini versions of you running around.”

“Yeah, totally. We’re gonna go grab something to eat and fuck behind the church in my pickup truck.” He rolled his eyes, laughing to himself as you snorted.

“You’ve always been a huge part of the Jesus fandom,” you called out, grimacing when you heard the librarian hiss a ‘Quiet!’ at you again.

“Have fun, James. I’ll catch you later.” You shoved your hands further into your pockets, turning around and jogging out before he could get another word in.

_____________

You didn’t expect the goth version of Sabrina the Teenage Witch at the entrance of your building that evening, sporting a look of disdain with a hint of boredom, gracefully covered up with a smile. He was dressed to the nines in all black, which matched his dark hair and starkly contrasted his fair, almost too pale skin.

“You’re Y/N, I presume?” you could hear the remnants of an accent that wasn’t common to your area. He sounded tired but it looked like he was making an effort, so you weren’t completely put off.

You nodded, giving him a small smile. “Loki, right?”

“That’s me. Did James tell you where we’re going tonight?”

“Bucky doesn’t take the effort to tell me anything useful, so I’m pretty uninformed.” You followed him as he walked towards the gate of the compound, his fingers toying with the hem of his sweatshirt.

“That’s weird because I swear he asked me for everything ranging from my birth certificate to my social security number. He wouldn’t even give me your dorm address without it,” he said drily, his smile actually making him look really nice.

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, so there’s that carnival or a fair or something that’s come up. I figured we could go check it out.” He gestured to his car.

“Sounds fun.” You offered him a helpful smile, accepting his invitation without much hesitation. Maybe a distraction was exactly what you needed.

_____________

The whole fair was illuminated with lights from the different stalls and you could smell the calories in the air as kids ran around with cotton candy and popcorn and funnel cakes. The ratting of the roller coaster tracks and peals of laughter subconsciously made your heart lift and a grin settled on your face.

“What do you want to do first?” you asked loudly, trying to speak over the crowd.

“I don’t know. It’s so noisy. I wish everyone would just shut up.” He scrunched up his nose in disdain, leaving you to stare at him.

“How about grabbing something to eat first? I’m starving,” you suggested, earning a nod from him as you both made your way down to where most of the food stalls were.

Churros, funnel cake, caramel apples, popcorn and just about everything deep fried was put on display and it smelled pretty fucking great.

“D’you want to try out the hypertension or diabetes on a stick?” you laughed, eyeing everything separately.

“Uh—“ he paused, flinching. “I think I’m good.”

“Not even cotton candy?”

“Definitely not.” He shook his head, eyebrows crinkled in disgust.

“Well, okay, man.” You shrugged, not letting his preferences stop you from going ahead and buying the first thing that caught your eye and had your mouth watering.

He followed you silently through the entire process, only passing an occasional comment on how greasy it was or how unhealthy it was. You took it as a personal challenge to count how many times he nearly gagged.

“Rides or stalls?” You could already predict the kind of night you were in for and at this point you were too tired to not have fun with it.

“Rides, I suppose. We’re too old for the stalls.” He clicked his tongue, putting his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans, staring disapprovingly at you.

“Oh, you are so right. Papa forbade me from playing games lest I fall victim to pride and immaturity. So pleased that throwing balls into holes is age restricted.” You threw some more popcorn into your mouth, feeling his stare burn into your face as you looked at him without any emotion.

“Didn’t you grow out of them after you turned, I don’t know, fifteen? How old are you?”

“You’re absolutely correct. We should hit the rides soon. I may not last fifteen minutes more. I’m practically decomposing as we speak.” You grinned at him making your way to the roller coaster, leaving him to match your pace.

“Roller coasters?” He called after you, rushing to catch up.

“Yes. Do you not like them?”

If this somehow greasier Tommy Wiseau said anything worse, you swore you literally would tear-

“I just think they’re too jumpy. And erratic. And noisy.”

You spun around wildly to face him, mouth dropping open. “What exactly did you expect from a fair, Lucky?”

“Loki.”

“Gesundheit. Have you ever been to a fair before or-“

You were just about to launch into a large rant when someone’s grip on your shoulder cut you off.

“Mario? What are you doing here?” The all-too-familiar voice made you instantly calm down as your best friend’s brother, your lord and savior, stepped near one of the most annoying people you could have met.

Which would be met with a more enthusiastic response had it not been for the presence of a girl with the most curly red hair accompanying him. She had her arm around his waist whilst his was secured around her shoulders and you immediately felt your words die down in your throat.

“Ah, James. We were just on our date.” He narrowed his eyes at you and you rolled yours at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Hey, man. I thought you were taking her to that restaurant down the road?” he questioned as the girl with him sent you a smile. Of course she’d have dimples.

“Thor told me this would better fit her,” Loki replied wearily.

“Wait a minute- you know Thor?”

“Know him?” Loki scoffed. “He’s my brother.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Given, we’re adopted siblings but I have to put up with his nonsense regardless.”

“Oh my fucking God, you’re the bitchy drama goth brother Thor talks about.”

“Bitchy drama goth— you’re lucky you got set up with me and not our sister.”

“I guess this date went super well?” Bucky piped up before you both clawed each other’s throats out.

“Simply wonderful.”

“Great.” He smiled awkwardly, before seemingly remembering who he had with him. “Oh shits, yeah—this is Dolores. Dot. Doll. I don’t know-“

“Dot is fine.” She smiled again, extending her hand in a shake. She had a flower tucked into her ear, matching the colour of her long skirt. Of course she did.

“This is Y/N, my sister’s best friend and that’s Loki,” Bucky introduced live-action Merida to you, as she gracefully replied with a small nod.

“You guys done?” Dot asked, switching her gaze between Loki and you.

“Yup, just finished. Loki was about to drop me off at my place. How about you?” You ignored your date altogether, instead focusing on how relaxed Bucky looked, none of his usual creases to be seen on his face. You liked it.

“I think we’ll hang around for a bit more. What do you say?” She looked up at him and Bucky nodded, a soft smile taking over his face.

“Sounds good to me. Text me when you get home, okay?” he reminded you, suddenly meeting your gaze. Your eyebrows furrowed at the intensity with which he was looking at you, but you gave him a thumbs up, agreeing.

“See ya tomorrow, Mario. Get home safe, please?” He waved one more time, as did Dolores, before they both made their way into the crowd, but not before Bucky threw you one more glance over his shoulder.

“Are you this hostile with every person your friends date or only James?” Loki sniggered from besides you, earning a sharp glare.

“One more word from you Severus and I will buy the oiliest piece of funnel cake and shove it down your throat.

But his words didn’t go over your head. You knew exactly what he was talking about and apparently it was so glaringly obvious that even others could see it.

Yikes.

Part 7

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Alteration

Rocker and the Mechanic - Chapter 11 (Previous Chapters)

Fandom: Sing 2016 AU

Pairing: Johnny x Ash

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: A sudden (and unexpected text) puts yet another wrench in Ash's plans.

Fanfiction.net

A03

Ash's tongue still refused to budge where it decided to take permanent residence on the bottom of her mouth. Loosely-crossed arms tense, gnawing the inside of her cheek as her eyes drifted toward the cracked concrete underneath her feet. The finite hairline cracks cascading over its oil and grease stained surface in an erratic pattern.

As she stood there and stared at them, she wasn't sure what she was thinking.

Wondering if something she was visualizing in the floor would have her think of the perfect words to say - but unsurprisingly, nothing came.

Ash simply was not an animal who encouraged or comforted in any sense and the one question that irked her more than anything was where did the cold-stone rocker go? For why the hell was she even worrying about what to say to this guy she just met mere hours ago? Who cared if he has an incredible singing voice and should be some hot-shot international superstar singer with talent and looks to spare? So what if he wasn't happy working in this dingy garage making lackluster payment when he had the potential of selling out stadiums?

If Johnny didn't care to follow his dream then why should she make it her problem especially when she had her own career to worry about.

Resolute sigh leaving her lips, Ash glanced back up to the gorilla in sheer frustration and confusion boiling deep in her chest.

Johnny, for the most part, was silent as well.

Steadily cleaning up the area around her bike: sweeping, wiping at some newly spilled oil, putting away tools, extra parts, and many dirty cloths that were littering the floor all while she looked on in barely concealed annoyance.

For even though it shouldn't bother her, it did!

Hoping to put her own frantic anticipations to rest, Ash opened her mouth, hoping for some biting but inspiring words to filter out but none did. All that came out was a groan of frustration tinging her lips. Knowing full well that Johnny was not at all up for debate, and if she was being honest - neither was she.

Adrenaline wearing off a long time ago and even with her small siesta, she was simply exhausted. The past few weeks dealing with Lance's emotional strife and her own faltering career and questioning her future for the umpteenth time was a lot for anyone to take. Mix in this handsome stranger with a hidden talent that would remain so was just the cloyingly sweet icing on this hellishly salty cake.

So, she took a page from Johnny's book and remained silent.

Tearing her lingering gaze away from Johnny, who was still cleaning, Ash strolled over to her guitar case to dig out hopefully enough funds to pay him. Before reaching it, she glanced to her left to see her long forgotten phone still plugged in next to his toaster. Not wanting to forget it in her haste to leave after paying him, she climbed atop the nearby stool and pulled the plug out of the wall.

Mind made up, she knew she should just leave - pay the bill and drive off without looking back.

It worked before so why not now?

After all, this was not her problem or her battle (she had enough battles yet to win) so why even bother trying with this stranger? Ash let out a short breath, one hand stuffing the cord into her leather jacket pocket while she powered up her phone with the other.

Tempted to just stuff it in her pocket and forget it, Ash didn't mind the distraction right now, so she reluctant watched as he phone slowly powered up.

A long loading screen later, she noticed there was over ten missed calls and texts. A quick scroll through let her know they were mostly from friends, the few that did still care (or pretended they did), but it was three missed calls and latest two texts that had her heart thump painfully in her chest with sudden panic.

Moon.

Buster Moon, the koala; the huge, hairy-eared boss she acquired merely a month ago after her performance at a restaurant where he happened to be dining at with a friend. She sang more subdued than normal for the venue but she still noticed him watching her unabashedly and sitting next to a sheep who played on his phone most of the time.

Ash didn't think much of it until the small koala approached her as she was leaving, handing her his card asking her if she was interested in joining his Moon Theater Group.

A question she answered with a glare and a "Sorry, but uh, fuck no". She refused to be part of a group or duet again.

Yet Moon didn't relent, just chuckled lightly at her choice of words and gave her his card anyway. Lack of jobs had her calling him the following week; telling him she wasn't interested in groups, freelance gigs - and surprisingly, that's what he gave her.

Setting her up in numerous gigs (the guy apparently had lots of ties around the city) and even gave her the largest venue she ever played…and now she just missed what apparently was another great opportunity if his frantic texts were anything to go by.

"Fuck!" she grumbled, looking at the time and already knowing she was almost an hour late yet it didn't seem to be over. Buster had just called her five minutes ago and she knew the place was close - at least, she thought it was.

"Um...is uh, everything alright, Ash?" Johnny's concerned voice rang out out nearby.

"Yeah." she answered tersely, "Just my boss."

Ash's eyes flitted over and over again to his message.

'Where are you!? You were supposed to be here an hour ago! Remember?' it read.

In that moment of anguish a few hours ago, she indeed was heading there to prepare even if she didn't care to hardly remember it now.

Mind so overwhelmed with her own grief and anguish over the entire situation to even care about a job waiting for her. Perhaps it was Lance's spiteful text she'd received or seeing him in a cafe that afternoon with one of the girls he was caught cheating with. Maybe it was simply feeling like her own life was in a downward spiral and she was merely waiting for herself to hit the ground. A lifeless husk scooped out of all her organs and now fluttering away on the slightest breeze. Nothing but mere ashes (her name fit more than ever) from the hellish flames she found herself facing ever since he cheated on her and didn't seem to give a single shit.

If anything, he was probably proud of it.

Ash grumbled lowly while sending a Buster Moon a quick, 'Be there soon' before placing it in her pocket. She just hoped he would wait for her…

"...is everything okay?" Johnny's gentle voice finally had her reeling; eyes lifting from the illuminated screen and up to his face that was now clean and free of the grease that stained it. Dammit, he was so handsome.

"Y-Yea. I'm good." she lied, heart palpitating painfully in her chest in fear she was going to lose yet another manager (a fucking good one too), "Lemme get your money so I can get out of your hair."

"Oh, it's okay, there's no rush."

"Yeah there is. My boss called and I'm already late so I need to go."

"O-Oh. Okay."

"How much is it?"

"$2-oh, uh, $110 should do it." Johnny chuckled and scratched his nape when she flashed him an incredulous look. She knew it was too little with as many parts as he replaced and electrical problems tended to be damn expensive but she sure as hell wasn't arguing even if the guilt would rest painfully in her gut later.

Ash opened the locks and began digging frantically through the sheets of music to find her small black clutch buried underneath. The skull and crossbones pattern greeting her a few seconds later, Ash pulled it out, opening it to only find a $20 bill staring back at her.

"Are you fucking serious?!" she cursed under her breath, digging through other pockets in hopes there was any more cash stored. Panicky and grumbling beside herself, not even noticing Johnny cautiously approaching.

Ash suddenly asked over her shoulder, "Do you take credit cards?"

"Uh. Sorry, no." he replied, hands wringing a small red rag (out of nervousness or habit, she wasn't sure).

Ash groaned, "Oh God…" burying her face in her hands and letting out a guttural sigh. Out of all the fucking things that had already gone wrong - the one time someone shows her kindness, she can't even pay him back. What the fuck else could go wrong?

"Hey." he said, laying a hand on her shoulder and Ash jolted at the sudden warm touch. Blue eyes peeling open in utter panic to meet his gentle brown eyes.

"I'm sorry!" she gasped, "I-I swear I got more at the ATM yesterday, it's just been hell. I have a gig to go to but I swear afterward, I'll bring you the money or even Paypal it to you tonight if you do that sorta thing! I swear…"

Johnny didn't say a word, just removed one hand from where it was in his pocket; holding it out to her where her keys dangled loosely from his fingers.

[beautifulramblingbrains]

Bound By Blood - Chapter 5

Pairing: Eric/OC *Sarah* Fandom: Divergent Rating: M - Just an extra heads up to the kids in the back.

She’s bound by the love for her family. And he won’t rest till he finds the face to his ghosts.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Here’s the next chapter. :) Big shout out to @murmelinchen , thanks my love.

Tags:@dauntlessmetalmom @equalstrashflavoredtrash @badassbaker @red-diary @pathybo @insertamazingwords @feminamortem @halefiresurvivor @suchlonelymuchsoul @elaacreditava @lauraaan182 @synnocence @jcause @glittergiirlgg @platitudinise @frecklefaceb @mimigemrose @sparklemichele @beltz2016 @ariwolff14 @queensoybean @impalalala6799 @tomarisela @original46 @tigpooh67 @alida90 @beastcoastbitchez 

Wayne drinks the coffee that was offered to him. It was slightly fancier than he had had at Dauntless - that and the fact it was served with a delightful view made it even better. The Erudite assistant of Jeanine's doesn't seem to pay him any attention as he unashamedly checks her out.

He sips on his coffee expressively, making sure he slurped while Jeanine peered down her nose at him. As ever, she was perfectly immaculate, hair pulled back and lacquered. He takes another long moment and sighs. "Okay, I'm feeling pretty good now."

"Indeed." Jeanine tries a smile but it's none other than a grimace.

"So…" Wayne places his cup down and rubs his hands together when the assistant leaves the room. "When were you going to tell me that you were involved with the factionless?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Eric gouged my eye out because I went after his woman!" Wayne suddenly shouts. "Look, I'm not wired." Jeanine still eyes him suspiciously. "I can take my clothes off if you really want me to."

"No, I prefer that image not to be burned into my mind. But thank you." She uncrosses her legs and leans forward to the low coffee table in front of them, grabbing a cube of sugar and drops it into her own hot drink. "And I've merely given the factionless a little leeway. They needed something that only we had and we came to an unwritten settlement."

Wayne can't process the meaning, leaning his arms on his knees towards her. "Months ago you were afraid of the factionless."

"I wasn't afraid. I was bothered that Dauntless held no interest in protecting the faction that the others can't go without. It seemed foolish and illogical."

"Yeah, but we know you got your own soldiers. The other's don't."

"Some poorly trained guards who barely made it through their initiation in Erudite because they were far too stupid. We're all saved!" She snorts, then leans back for her coffee. "Some food and medicine go a long way. If there is anything I need, they are happy to provide me."

Wayne's mouth is slightly open as he hums. "Huh. Why didn't we think of that?"

"Because Eric is hot-headed. Factionless are weak in his eyes."

"Well…" Wayne looks at the floor, "they technically are drop-outs and fail-"

"Enough. I have my own opinions which are similar to yours but I also seem to attain the only intelligence in this whole city to see what is happening. Something I'm subtly preparing for."

"Sweet, but you've also lost me with your yabbering."

"The unity of the factions is falling. It's failing. The signs are all there. Soon we will all be driven to unite or part, including the factionless."

"Well, that ain't no big deal, I remember we took out most of their camps months ago and then some of them…" He begins slowing down, the realization beginning to sink in. "Disappeared." He taps the coffee table. "That was you, wasn't it?"

"I abided them safe passage and gained their trust." She nods with a hint of a subtle smile.

"So, technically, it's not factionless Eric's hunting right now. It's party-goers of your self-righteous ass doing things by your word. Ma'am, you are…" He laughs, wheezing as he falls back in his seat, apparently in awe. "You are something else!"

Jeanine appears smug with his small speech and especially by the way he was admiring her. "Well, I'm glad that small circumstance appeases you and you're not worried in the slightest that the factions are failing."

"Nah, the factions haven't worked in years."

"Yes, but I am not the only one to know that, Wayne. And quite frankly, my plans to lure Eric to cooperate haven't exactly…"

"They're fucked?"

"Poetic. There was some alleviation from the suppressant he was taking that has affected the sim, but not enough to regain his full memory. It's genuinely only made him conscious of it." Jeanine inhales deeply. "In a way, I have failed myself. I shouldn't have taken any chances."

"The Stiff girl we are talking about right now, yeah?"

"Yes," she sighs. "I didn't want to do this. But for your safety and mine, we may have to start thinking of a way to-"

"You want to get rid of her?"

"A minor casualty to the bigger picture. My staged episode days ago was to prove a point that Abnegation are in the way, and to deal with our unique dilemma without anyone knowing any better. But Eric has managed to surprise me once again by bringing everything to a halt…" She drifts off in thought.

"He told me that he was suspicious but he didn't say over exactly what."

"Again, it's my mistake beginning to resurface. It's unfortunate that Eric has decided to place cameras all throughout Abnegation because now that means nobody but Dauntless are getting access to Abnegation without him knowing…" She pouts, reaching back for her coffee.

Wayne's very slow as the clogs turn in his brain, then he sharply looks at her, waving his hands up and down at himself. "I'm Dauntless."

"That, indeed, you are." She slyly grins onto her coffee cup as she takes a sip, watching him over the brim.

Sarah adjusts the chain on her necklace. She hadn't worn it for a while and didn't intend on wearing for the day. She just wanted to remember what it looked like and aid herself in the frequent daydreams that had been plaguing her. It was one of few small possessions that she owned.

Feeling like it was too long staring into the small handheld mirror she kept hidden away in her drawer, she puts it back gently and shuts it. Turning to Jack who is situated on her bed with two cushions beside him, fidgeting restlessly, she takes the few steps between them and sits beside him. "What do you think, hey?"

His mouth opens when she speaks, his legs stretching out and his hands ball into fists. He looks as though it's the first time he had seen her, staring intensely.

"It's actually kind of…" She scoffs, pinching the pearl pendant between her fingers. "...it's pretty." She leans over him and strokes his face. "Do you like it?" Slowly, a little lift in his lip forms a toothless and confused smile. "You do?"

"Ooo." He randomly blurts, frightening himself.

There's a creak from the room next door and Sarah reaches to the back of her neck, unclasping the necklace and getting up to put it in the drawer with her mirror. "I think your aunty is awake. Let's make breakfast." She picks Jack up, holding the back of his head as he gets to enjoy the view over her shoulder.

Mary groggily opens her door to use the bathroom, mumbling a hello and Sarah calls Thomas as she passes his room.

It's ten minutes later when a still sleepy Mary sits at the dining table with the breakfast food laid out that she rubs at her eyes and frowns at her sister sitting across from her, feeding Jack a bottle. "Okay, so this is weird. What have you done with Sarah?"

Sarah laughs, "Jack sleeps through now. I have had more than enough sleep."

"I could hear you. You woke me up."

"Oh," Sarah says dismissively. Mary yawns, pouring a bland bowl of cereal and doesn't say anything further. "I had a lot of time to think about Mother while I was trying to be quiet. I was thinking over what would be best."

"I don't trust her." Mary takes a spoonful of her breakfast. "But, if what you say is true..."

"She said they weren't together anymore," Sarah elaborates, thinking back to their small conversation they had outside the school.

Meredith had left John. They had finally split. Sarah had known at the time that John was erratic and an awful drunk and that her mother did receive the brunt of it, deserving or not. But she never thought that her mother would leave him. She always strived on their family pride.

But it had been losing her children that gave her the courage to leave, and Mother to Mother she had begged Sarah to give her a chance to prove things had changed.

"You don't have to do anything. Just so you know." Sarah sits Jack up to burp him, gently rubbing his back with his podgy face supported by her hand. "It's entirely up to you. I will support you whatever way you choose."

"I know." Mary chews slowly. "You've taken on a hell of a load of responsibility."

"We seem to be working quite well." Sarah smiles up at her for a moment. "I like the way we are living now."

"I just wish you could do the things you want to do."

"I wish for nothing."

"You do. I hear you sometimes…" Mary let's slip. "I mean, I thought you were praying or something at first."

"I just ask whoever is listening to help me out sometimes." Jack finally burps, loudly, and both girls snort from his interruption.

There's a long silence with Thomas' feet stomping around above them until Mary eventually says, "We should start off with a dinner in the evenings and go from there."

Sarah wasn't aware she was thinking about it anymore. But nonetheless, she lightly nods at her sister. "Great."

Eric swirls the bourbon in his glass. Slouched back in the single armchair, he stares out into the vacant room. The side of his glass is moistened by the melting ice and he takes one long sip, trying to draw a conclusion in his head.

"Why did I move?" he asks himself the same question that's been bothering him, and sure enough the mental block begins to hum.

There's a specific mark on the wall opposite him that has caught his eye a few times. A brand new apartment already faulty? And he doesn't remember how it got there?

"What a load of shit," he mumbles, sitting forward and putting his glass down. He rubs at his face, digging the pads of his fingers over his closed eyes and suddenly feels a tickling sensation against his cheek.

He brings his hands back to look at his palms. A hair, caught by his dampened fingers, glints in the dull lighting from the kitchen. He pinches it and holds it up, blond and long it dangles in front of him.

There was a lot of blonds in Dauntless.

He hadn't seen Sarah today.

He bolts up from his chair, marches into the kitchen and holds it more into the light. He smirks as another piece of the puzzle slots into place. "I see you."

"Thanks, Miss," A Dauntless guard says politely when he takes the bottle of water out of Sarah's hand.

"No problem," she chirps, enjoying the small task. Someone taps on her shoulder, signaling for a bottle from the wicker basket held aloft on her forearm and she serves him one. "Here you are." She looks around her, seeing if there was anyone else and spots Mark with a comrade, expressively talking and pointing up and down the street.

She thinks quickly, then makes her way over. His comrade notices first and nudges Mark. He turns with a confused expression that eases when he notices her. "Oh! Hey, Sarah!"

"Hello..." She waits till they are alone and tilts her head to the side, lifting a hand to block the sun from her eyes. "Uhm… I'm not very good at this. But I feel that I need to because isn't that like a thing now."

Mark's lips lift and it shows his teeth. "Uh oh. Am I getting the talk?"

Sarah can't help but chuckle. "No. Well, not really." She bunches up her nose. "Are you interested in my sister for anything other than fun?"

"Wow, that's pretty direct."

"I learned from the best." She scoffs, thinking of Eric. "I'm not trying to be…" She bites her lip. "I just. I hope...damn it." Mark only laughs, waiting for her to finish. "I sound awfully ignorant now. But I'm-"

"No, I get it." He motions to the basket, "May I?" Sarah hands him one and he uncaps it taking a quick glug. He wipes the back of his hand across his forehead and begins to loosen his shoulders. "Shall we start this again?"

"I think maybe we should."

"Okay." He clears his throat and shifts uneasily from foot to foot. "I would like the permission to date Mary. I know you are her sister and not her parents...well, you are kind of are like her parents now but... not-"

Sarah holds a hand up. "Mark, you're ruining it."

"Ah, okay."

"But sure, only if you come to dinner first."

"Me?" He swallows, his voice taking on a high, breaking tone. "You're inviting me for dinner? Like, alone?"

"Mark…" Sarah says slowly. "I'm asking you to have dinner with the family, including Mary. I'm not saying we should."

Mark lets out a sigh of relief, putting his hands on his waist. "Thank god for that." His eyes widen and he panics. "No, no, no. I didn't mean that like, thank god because you're ugly…" He pales. "God, no. You're not ugly either! Jesus."

"Mark, shut up and we'll see you tonight."

He salutes without speaking another word. Walking away Sarah hides her laugh.

"...I broke my toe that day, but I still had to keep going because failing wasn't an option. Those first few weeks at Dauntless are like, critical." Mark frowns down at his empty bowl.

Sarah, who only served herself the smallest portion and finished way before Mary and Mark, sighs with her head in her hands across from them before perking up at his request. "Do you want more?"

"I heard stories of Abnegation food... But this ain't bad." He laughs, and Mary does so along with him with a certain twinkle in her eye which worsens the heavy feeling in Sarah's stomach at the sight of them. "I don't want to be a bother."

Sarah jerks back to her senses. "Oh no, it's fine! I'll-I'll get some more." She takes his bowl and as she walks away she hears them talking quietly. Her shoulders sag as soon as she is in the kitchen - she had never felt so badly out of place. And she couldn't really piece together why exactly she felt like that. Having set the dinner up herself and knowing they would be just the three of them while the youngest slept, it somehow makes her feel worse; as though she was compensating for herself. But she never imagined herself to feel...jealous, and so alone because of the situation.

Her intentions were to understand Mark - what his interest was in her sister and to figure out the type of person he was. And now that she got to know him, see him interact with her sister - e was just...perfect. Sarah couldn't fault him.

Having filled up Mark's bowl without thinking and clouded by her daydreaming, she makes the decision to call it a night. Not another second did she want to watch the happiness between the two flourish. Not because she didn't want it to, but because it was the same happiness she longed to feel herself.

"I think I'm going to go to bed, it's late," Sarah announces, reentering and placing the bowl in front of Mark.

"Oh, should I go?" Mark begins to stand and Mary grabs his arm. Smiling politely, Sarah waves him back into his seat.

"Finish your food... I'm just feeling a little tired, you know." Mary doesn't seem to be fooled so easily, so she tries to lift her cheeks a little. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight and-"

Their voices are interrupted by a light knock on the door and they fall silent. Sarah breathes in slowly then treads over, comforting the other two with a quick smile over her shoulder.

She answers to see Dalton in the doorway. "Dalton? What are you doing here?"

"I just finished at the town meeting at the hall and was passing your house and saw the lights on. You okay?"

"Yeah, we were just having late dinner and-"

"We?" He frowns and pushes the door open further, noticing Mark and Mary at the table. Seeing that it isn't who he was looking for, he stops in his tracks. "Oh." His jaw twitches, looking back down at Sarah and his tone is heavily laced with sarcasm. "You have a Dauntless for dinner?"

"I was just going to bed…" She trails off, folding her arms and noticing how rejected he suddenly appears. "But you can come in and stay for a bit if you want."

"I don't want to interrupt."

"It's…" She thinks back to Eric's words briefly, but she can't turn him away now and it's not like he was going to be staying for the night. "...Not a problem." She stares up at him as he contemplates, his eyes wandering back to Mary and Mark who are talking among themselves.

"Okay."

Mark slides his report across the desk towards Eric. "As requested, sir."

Eric picks it up, roaming over it quickly. "This is late. All PM reports should be delivered before midnight, so we can execute the information on the turn-over."

"I didn't think there would be a problem since there was no cause for concern." Mark rushes.

Eric's eyes flicker up and down the young soldier who isn't even aware he's given him the once over. He rubs a thumb across his lip quickly before continuing. "Is there something far more interesting in Abnegation that it's distracting you from your duties?"

"I was invited to dinner by residents, but only after my shift ended. I would never put pleasure before-"

Eric chuckles causing him to pause. "That's what they all say. But to the point, I don't give a shit what you do afterward. These reports are vital and must be logged on time." The boy nods, looking distraught enough for his liking. "Now, I'm busy. Get out."

"Yes, sir. Certainly, sir." He gathers himself to leave.

"Don't let me down again," Eric calls after him.

In the doorway of his office, Mark nods, but stops, holding the door ajar. "Can I say something?"

Eric breathes in slowly, annoyance etching across his features. "Is it important?"

"It's an opinion." Eric huffs, but still raises an eyebrow for him to continue. "I don't think Abnegation have anything to do with the factionless. They are just victims stuck between two bigger factions."

"Seems we share the same opinion. What made your mind up?"

"A girl." Mark smiles a little till he realizes who is in front of him and sterns his face again. "Uhm...good day."

Eric shakes his head, snorting through his nose. It seems they also shared another attribute. Speaking of which…

He peers out into the room, then finds himself clicking through the database till he gets to the recordings of the last few days. Whether it was a general curiosity or maybe hinting on suspicion of Mark, he finds himself dropping into the feed of last night. It was only a street-view, life fast-forwarding and having them closely resemble ants as he skipped through the day. "Fifteen-hundred patrol…" he mumbles when he spots them surveying the street. Gradually the daylight begins to dim and he slows it down.

Mark appears on the screen and Eric watches him closely, sneering at the screen. "You fucking son of a bitch..." When Mark stops outside the Bennett's house and Sarah invites him in, Eric's fingers tense on the mouse.

Mark's not seen again and Eric skips a few more hours. Clicking heavily he speeds past a small moment outside the Bennett's door again. He has to rewind and replay it. It's a mere minute but it's obvious who exactly it was standing outside her door.

The rage begins to burn in his veins and his voice of reason seems to be nothing but an echo. He feels his shoulders beginning to tighten and every inch of him fighting to remain still. On the outside, even a wise man would be fooled at the vacant expression on his face.

But the persistent grinding of his teeth proves otherwise.

There's a crunch as the button on the mouse breaks, the plastic creaking between his vice-like fingers. "No more Stiff boy sleepovers…" he hisses, completely furious that Sarah had ignored his every word.

He gets up, grabbing his gun and holsters it, fuming with every intention to make her submit to him. He knows nothing of what his next actions might be, but he knows he has to remind her exactly who has staked their claim upon her. Unreasonably or not, he simply didn't fucking care anymore.

And just when his thought process peaks… Glen appears in the doorway, throwing him off. "Sir, the trucks are ready."

"Fuck the hunt!" He sharply glares at his subordinate and unintentionally reveals his annoyance.

Glen's face is just as perplexed at his outburst. "You, er, want us to rearrange?"

Eric leans forward on the desk, breathing deeply and recalculating the importance of the search for factionless over Sarah; she will be safely tucked away at Abnegation, none the wiser he intends to pay her a surprise visit when the time is right.

Wayne flicks his cigarette out from the warehouse platform, watching Eric orchestrate to a group further in the distance. He lingers on the sight for a minute before reaching into his back pocket for the phone Jeanine had provided him with. Putting it to his ear, she answers quickly but wordlessly.

"Has the site been evacuated?" he asks after a second, a lot quieter than usual and peers over his shoulders in case of any eavesdroppers.

"They have headed East towards Amity."

"Don't underestimate his abilities. I've seen him first-hand in a hunt and he's a machine."

"They are keeping themselves mobile till they hear otherwise."

Suddenly Eric shouts Wayne's name, but he is looking in the wrong direction for him, much to Wayne's relief. "I'll get back to you when it's clear."

"Now you are starting to sound like a true leader, Wayne."

He doesn't reply. He puts the phone down, shoving it back in his pocket and hops off the platform. Eric's eyes are on him and he throws his hands up in the air. "What we still doing waiting around? Let's get ourselves some factionless!" The soldiers whoop at his words, but Eric is silent.

Wayne doesn't like him when he's silent.

"Mother," Sarah says in short greeting once the door opens. She can see the smile on Meredith's face is pained. Whether that be due to the fact that John recently left and she finally admitted it to her oldest daughter, or because Thomas didn't run into her arms that she held out for him, Sarah wasn't sure.

The atmosphere is awfully tense, and finally, she elbows Mary who holds a dish wrapped in foil. Mary just presents it and Sarah sighs. "We made apple pie." But Meredith's eyes are on her grandson strapped to Sarah's chest. She shifts uncomfortably before telling her mother, "His name is Jack."

"Of course I know what his name is!" That biting tone that was oh-so-familiar is there, but her expression is softer. "Why have you not come to see me sooner?"

"As a family we contemplated what would be for the best and that took a couple of days with school and other things we have been doing," Sarah tries to explain for some reason. There was something always belittling when under a Mother's scrutiny and after everything that still hadn't changed.

"I suppose that doesn't matter. What matters is that you are here." Meredith steps aside allowing them through. The house is exactly how she remembers, just minus a person.

"Where is Father staying?" Mary now decides to speak as they take their old places at the table.

"He's staying with a friend of ours until he gets permitted into a different accommodation." Meredith is distracted by Sarah unstrapping Jack and leans down over her shoulder to get a better look at him. "May I hold my grandchild?" Sarah's smile falters momentarily, but this was one thing she thought she could trust her Mother with, so they exchange, and she can't help but smile as Jack throws his arms up and down as Meredith bounces him. "My gosh…"

Sarah catches Mary's eye and they grimace slightly, mouthing an 'okay' in comfort.

"...there isn't a speck of your Mother in you, is there?" Mary snorts and Sarah rolls her eyes. Typical undercut insults were still strife. "He even...well he, he frowns exactly like him. Look at that brow." Meredith turns her arms to show everybody. "I half expected a redhead like my darling Elizabeth. You know, because you're both so fair. But he's literally a miniaturized version of his father."

"Okay, Mother. We get it. He doesn't look anything like me."

"I'm sorry, Sarah. But I'm playing catch-up here."

"Well, whose fault is that?" Mary cuts in bravely, still lingering on the past and most likely things she never got the chance to say.

"I see," Meredith says with a hint of compassion as she looks at each of her children individually. She begins to take a seat and Sarah reaches out for Jack but her Mother ignores her. "There is probably a lot of things that have been done and said that are impossible to take back. Things we have all done." Sharp eyes hit Sarah for a fleeting moment. "I, for one, want to make amends. I want us back together. I want you, my children, back with me where you belong."

"What about Sarah?" Thomas pipes, his face appearing pale and almost a little frightened.

"Sarah is an adult with her own responsibilities and her own family to look after. It's unfair to expect-"

"She's been doing a pretty good job." Mary cuts her off.

"A job you are expecting her to do with your brother when you leave next year and possibly start your own family? A single Mom raising two young boys at nineteen years old?"

Sarah rubs her forehead. "This is not why we are here. This isn't even something that should be spoken about. We are here to have a weekly dinner and a catch-up where we are supposed to talk about trivial things."

Meredith plays with Jack's hand, cooing down at him. "It's best the air is cleared."

"Okay…" Sarah huffs. "Mother, stop being a bitch. Mary, try harder. And Thomas, eat your vegetables tonight." She stands up and everyone looks at her.

"Where are you going?" Mary asks.

"I'm going home with Jack. I'm taking a long bath once I put him to bed and I know you are more than capable of walking Thomas back home at exactly nine this evening."

Sarah takes Jack from Meredith and begins strapping him back against her chest. Mary quickly moves over to her, speaking quietly in a whisper with their backs turned. "This was not part of the plan."

"No, but it seems when I'm around I am the main focus of conversation and...enough is enough." They hiss in whispers and Sarah turns not allowing Mary to convince her otherwise. "Mother, I'll see you soon."

"Thank you, Sarah." Sarah reaches the door. However this time it lightens her step a little more when she hears her Mother's words. "Let's get the dinner onto plates then, shall we? I can't wait to taste that apple pie. Did you help too, Thomas?"

This will be a good thing, she tells herself.

Crouching down and picking at the soil between his fingers, Eric grunts a sharp sigh in annoyance. "They knew we were coming..." He looks along the tree line and Wayne studies him for a moment. "The tracks lead in every direction."

"What are you thinking?"

"Seventy to eighty people. No families." Eric stands and begins walking and Wayne hurries to keep up.

"How'd you know?" But his question is answered when Eric bends down and picks up a trodden bullet. He dusts off the dirt and holds it up to him.

"Wild guess." His words are clipped and he glares at their surroundings.

"So…" Wayne clicks his tongue then runs it around his mouth. "What do we do now?"

"Playing hide and seek isn't my thing. We wait them out." Eric chucks the bullet at him, hard. "Get back to Dauntless. Check the armory reports and get to the bottom of exactly who is behind the missing weapons. I want it on my desk first thing." He begins walking back to the trucks and Wayne follows.

It's only when Eric hops in the driver's side and slams the door, that Wayne begins to frown in confusion and utter annoyance at the impossible task.

The engine starts with a rumble and the wheels spin as Eric floors it from the dusty grassland without so much as a second glance. Behind him in the other manned truck, the driver yells out for Wayne to get in.

"Bastard! Absolute bastard..." Wayne had an idea of where he was heading.

Sarah gasps for breath as she emerges from the bath water. It was the longest soak she had had in awhile. She takes a minute to relax back and wiggles her toes near the tap, enjoying the self-indulgent moment that was strictly forbidden. She smiles a little on that thought.

Her legs looked shiny from being freshly shaved, and every part of her felt loose and relaxed as she felt herself slowly drifting to a more tranquil place in her mind.

But the water was beginning to get cold now, so she drags herself from her peaceful place. The air is cool against her skin but muggy from the condensation and every part of her was a blushed shade of pink, she could feel her cheeks radiating healthily.

She wipes the towel through her hair first to stop it from dripping, then her arms and legs. She hesitates though on one of few marks from carrying Jack on her lower stomach; still relatively new and more pronounced from her bath.

Her breasts were still how they had been before, pregnancy hadn't taken its toll and she'd managed to quickly get back into her shape. Though, she still felt different.

For some absurd reason, she wonders slightly if Eric noticed the marks, or whether he disliked her body. At the time there was nothing telling. - At the time, his actions were gravely dire than how he'd been recently, and she certainly couldn't say she didn't find him charming on their last few encounters.

But he was certainly more sculpted than she remembered. Broader and firm when she had placed her hands on his shoulders. - That, or it had been too long that she had ultimately forgotten.

However, it wasn't just his shape that seemed to pivot her stomach. It was everything...

His words; that were borderline seductive recently. His eyes; traveling to places they shouldn't and unabashedly keeping her stare. His touch; so far from hesitant that it was demanding, though she would respond instantly.

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, it was the way he owned her body. When she was near him, it was like a pathological drug that consumed her quicker than striking a match, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it.

...Sarah drops the towel to the floor while thinking of him. Her alleviated breathing increasing so audibly that it was now the main focus in the room. And she curses herself as she leans forward, hands gripping the sink painfully.

She imagines him looming behind her. - And on that thought she moves her hand, trailing it down her abdomen, the fingers cold and now, somewhat foreign, adding to the sensation as she impatiently reaches her desired destination.

Her legs clench and she hums at the feel of her already participating core. She lets her own senses guide her, and selfishly loves every moment of it. Two fingers slide gracefully inside of her, curling as she finds the perfect spot that makes her hips roll and moans, completely subconsciously.

She imagines secret moments shared only between them - needing hands and smothered breaths. The way Eric would bite at her skin, suck it into his mouth to mark her when he was near his release. The way she would hold onto him, thighs spread as he delved deeper, leaving tiny pieces of him inside that solidified his claim… The way her name would roll off his tongue...

It all builds suddenly, and her vision blurs, her legs shaking as her other hand strokes her clit.

She says his name...

In only a wheezing whisper. But she said it.

It throws Sarah off when the grueling come down from her high begins to wash over her. She cleans her hands quickly and slaps a palm on the sink, she uses the other to smooth back her hair in shame. "Stupid," she tells herself. "You're a stupid fool."

Huffing, she pushes away, hanging the towel and slips quietly from the bathroom into her bedroom where Jack sleeps soundly. It felt sinful, strolling around stark naked, but there was no one here to care, so neither did she.

Busying herself in a drawer with a few pieces of her nightwear, her fingers just pulling out a dress, a particular noise has her freeze. Her next movements are swift as she throws the delicate material over her head, adjusting it to her body and smoothing the length of it as she steps back into the corridor. Biting at her lip, there's a scuff on the concrete steps and her heart almost flips.

"Mary?" Her voice is the sound of utter betrayal by the dryness and breathlessness of it. "Thomas?" There is no reply. She frowns, usually they would always reply.

Sarah doesn't want to walk further towards the shadowed stairs, the ground floor was darker with no lighting because before she had no intention of going back down there. But, she cannot let the thought go. The sound was too specific.

She pushes herself along the wall to the top of the stairs, hesitating, then looking back to her room fearfully. "Hello?" she calls and waits, again there was no reply.

Her bare feet touch the slabs of concrete that make the stairs, each one quiet and light as she wanders slowly down into the darkness. She takes the last of them, checking the front door which is closed, then studying the room. It's bleak, and it doesn't look like anyone is here.

She could've sworn…

Sarah gathers herself, almost running to the light switch when movement in the corner of her eye has her yelp. It doesn't last long, suddenly her feet leave the floor, her chest restricted from an arm holding her up and a hand firmly over her mouth.

"I see my self-defense lesson was wasted on you." The words are whispered harshly, Eric's breathing ragged as he begins to walk forward as if she weighed nothing.

Sarah makes a pathetic attempt to stop him when he walks to the table, placing her on the end of it and shoving her knees apart to wedge himself between them. She struggles against his hold but he's solid and unmovable. His face is shadowed by the darkness but she can see the blue hue of his eyes, a serious, almost pained expression. He looks angry, agitated, and she freezes. When he grabs the back of her neck, her head falls back as she stares helplessly up at him. "Do you know how frustrating it is to hear someone saying your name while they fuck themselves?"

Sarah is beyond blushing at his words, fighting to remain still as his free hand grabs at the bottom of her dress and lifts it shamelessly, revealing her hips and absolutely nothing but her bare skin. His breath hitches and his tongue darts out to his bottom lip when he looks down, eagerly pushing himself closer. "Do you like the way my name sounds when you moan it?" His fingers dance up her side, underneath the material, stopping near her breasts. "Were you imagining me fucking you?" At her lack of response, a growl leaves his throat and he widens his stance to push his hips harder between her. "In fact, I want to hear you moan it again."

At his decree, she finally swallows, snapping to her senses. "Why are you here? How'd you get in?"

His lips lift to form a sneer, and he grabs her face harshly. "I thought I told you…" His thumb brushes against her mouth, revealing her bottom teeth. "No. More. Stiff. Boy. Sleepovers."

"You are beginning to sound jealous, Mr. Coulter."

He scoffs at her playful tone, "Is there a reason why I should be jealous, Miss. Bennett?"

Bravely, she keeps his eyes as she whispers, "It was your name I moaned, wasn't it?" His eyes flicker back and forth between her eyes and her lips, seemingly contemplating her words. "Is Eric Coulter finally speechless?" The intensity of his stare is too strong and she can't help but look away. "You shouldn't be here. You can't be here…" she mutters as she places a hand against his chest and pushes at him lightly.

"That's something I've told myself, sweetheart. And it brings me back to your last question, why am I here?" He shrugs with a pout, letting his words linger. "I'm here because I'm almost certain something has happened with your direct involvement."

Sarah shifts uneasily, trying to put a distance between them and realizing he's far more informed than he had been letting on recently. She was a fool to think otherwise.

He takes his hands from her, playing with the loose lace on the front of her dress as he speaks. "For whatever reason, I haven't taken it upon myself to pry the information like I usually would. But I like facts. Facts that are growing." His eyes lock onto hers. "I've taken guesses that you've had involvement with the factionless…" He lists off. "But then, Dalton mentioned you were caught between the crossfire... I've thought that you've had involvement with Jeanine in aid to help the movement for beneficial gain…" Sarah blinks quickly, mouth parting to detest it, but Eric's faster. "So you have had contact with Jeanine? Interesting."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. But I know it's not any involvement to do with the moving as you protest it." Turning her head away, she pulls at the length of her dress to move it back down her legs. "Oh, no no no. We've gotten so far. Why are you turning away now that I am so close to finding out?" Eric asks expressively.

"Why are you so fixated on this? Please, just leave it be," she begs.

"Don't deflect. It's time to tell the truth." He grips her wrist from the table, placing his thumb on her pulse point and feels for the uncontrolled increase of a solid liar. "I also thought that perhaps the baby was something to do with Dauntless…" He watches her nostrils flare slightly, and the way her hand begins to ball into a fist. "Just as I suspected."

She quickly jerks back. "Stop this! Stop it! Do you have any idea how you sound?"

"To me, it's all sounding a lot more plausible than it was days ago, sweetheart." Her face is half illuminated from the natural light of the moon that tinges the room, and he reaches out, touching the smooth skin on a small part of her shoulder that's exposed. "I'm not mad at you. You would know if I was. I can assure you." The familiarity of his caress has her body reacting instantly; though she is wary of the alluring tone of his voice she has heard so many times over.

Goosebumps rise on her skin while his sight burns holes straight through her. His voice is temptingly smooth and far more calm than earlier. The warmth of the pads of his fingers sinking through her built armor. "...I'm just trying to get to a head with what bastard faction is behind this before I clean up. But I think we both know, I just want you to say it." He massages deeper into her tensed shoulder. "I can protect you. I told you that."

"You…" She gnaws the inside of her cheek, fighting back the tears. "You might not like what you find out about me and my past."

"Cut the bullshit! There's a lapse in my memory that has been taken from me for one reason or another! That much I know. And now I want to know everything." He cups either side of her face as the words seem to tumble out of his mouth. "It's time to tell me. I don't want to do something I might regret, Sarah. Don't make me."

"Please, Eric…" She begs again. "Please, just leave it be."

"My responsibility lies in the protection of all the factions. Do you understand the force I can use if there is any evidence of your involvement? Don't make me hurt you, Sarah." He pressurizes her, keeping her head wedged between his hands.

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"

"The thing is, I can't. I can't keep myself away from you because my fucking mind won't let me." He laughs suddenly, his breath touching her face in their close proximity. "I've fucking tried. It's illogical. It's irrational. But I- "

Sarah pushes through his hands, cutting off his words and brushing her mouth against his in a sudden unthought act that even betrayed her own reasoning. She can tell by the way he tenses that he wasn't expecting it, but he does reciprocate, even if it is only partly.

However, his hands drop from her face and glide through the side of his shaved head suddenly as he turns his back to her, walking out into the room with an air of annoyance left behind him that leaves her dropping fearfully back into her shoulders.

He doesn't move nor face her, so she slides off the table to walk up behind him. "I'm-I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that." She wrings her hands, feeling like she was approaching a cornered animal that might lash out at any minute. But she ignores the voice telling her to run, being overwhelmed with another that she blamed for her unfounded actions.

She watches as Eric breathes in deeply, broadening his shoulders, and she reaches out to touch his arm. "I'm sorry-"

His body turns unbelievably fast and he mutters something under his breath. But she can't make it out because before she has the time to react, he crashes his mouth forcefully against hers, both of his hands gripping her neck and fingers knotting into the back of her hair. He concentrates on her top lip, sucking at the skin, before biting the bottom.

It almost takes her off her feet as she stumbles backward, trying to keep up with his frantic demands and ends up steadying herself on the hem of his jacket, gripping helplessly.

When she parts her lips and their tongues meet, he groans, pushing her further back, as if it was something that he had been longing for. He raises a hand from her neck, placing a thumb near her mouth to brush at her lip when he pulls back, meeting her inquisitive gaze. "You shouldn't have done that."

"I know," she whispers, looking up at him fearfully but he kisses her again, roughly. And this time Sarah links her arms around his neck and hoists herself up with his help to get her legs around his waist.

"You really shouldn't," he mumbles breathlessly.

"I know." Her lips feel swollen as he devours them, switching between claiming her mouth and biting at her skin. She leans back to give him access to her neck which he takes greedily, trailing an open mouth across her jaw, and she allows her eyes to close.

"Shall I tell you what I know?" It wasn't a question and she can't reply, feeling his palm slide under her naked ass. The sensation makes her hips roll against him illicitly and it doesn't go unnoticed by Eric who hums from the friction.

He kisses the soft skin of her neck before he pulls the flesh into his mouth, hard enough to leave a mark and jolts back so he can implant his words into her swimming lustrous mind. He scoffs, showing a smile that is rare and would otherwise seem entirely innocent. Yet, it falters and she gasps as he grabs a fistful of her hair, yanking her head back. "I knew it was you!"

[fearducts-blog]

AN OPEN LETTER FROM EVERYONE I’VE EVER MET TO VULGAR / MORTEM.

I bet y’all thought my drama days were over, but surprise surprise, I have come “rinse crying” back to this fandom because, I understand, Vulgar. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. You didn’t need a friend like me. But, now you come to me, and you say: “kindly kiss my ass” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you make my friend cry in public because you follow bait her, publicly post about how much of a terrible person she and everyone else in this fandom is and then once again pinpoint the negative reputation you have built up for yourself on everyone but you.

I don’t know what her URLs are these days because frankly, in spite of what she will tell you, up until two days ago, I could not have given less of a shit if I tried, but going by the screenshots I’ve seen lately this post is going to concern: woshi-tuzi / twinblcdes / gelosiia / buside / baolii / puntirotti any other blogs run by Vulgar / Mortem. Not gonna lie, this is a long post, there’s a lot to go over here, and a lot of it’s going to seem like old, irrelevant, petty high school drama, because that’s exactly what it fucking is, but since Vulgar is still using drama from a year ago as her sword and shield to treat others badly, it’s long overdue that we did some good old fashioned air clearing.

I guess we’ll start with breaking down what tipped everything over the edge, this charming message that was sent to Elle; X. ( in reference to this hot vague, but we’ll get back to that later. )

“ WHAT MOMO AND IVY DID TO ME ”

We stopped talking to her, and blocked her after an argument that transpired in private — that’s it, that’s all we did. You can skip this section if you want to skip year old high school level drama, but if not...

It all happened because she guilt tripped me for taking over 10 minutes to reply... as it happens, I wasn’t replying to her because it was 3am where I was and I was fucking trying to sleep, not that the time difference matters because it was 10 minutes and not to be crude, but I could have been doing anything, I could have been taking a shit and that was apparently grounds for a guilt trip. And while I’ll admit, I could have handled it better, I’m really not here to be guilt tripped on account of not replying to someone because I’m asleep whenever they message me, because in spite of proclaiming me their “best friend”, after a month of me living in a UTC+8 timezone, they still haven’t clocked onto the fact that I’m working to a different schedule to them. So this exchange happened : X. ( call me a herpetologist bc I know you’re a snake, Vulgar, so before you say anything about the time stamps, these are your logs, not mine. ).

Anyway, you might think this has nothing to do with Ivy, and you’d be absolutely right, it doesn’t. But Vular went to her anyway and deliberately misrepresented the situation, now fortunately, not only am I a herpetologist, but I'm too, am a fucking snake, so knowing Vulgar was going to pull the same shit she did in the past where she came to me to bitch about close friends of mine following minor disputes, where whenever she had an argument with someone over skype she’d send me an MS Word version of the logs????? Before going back to bed, I straight up sent Ivy the chat logs in the immediate aftermath, I didn’t bitch about Vulgar, I just showed Ivy what happened, said I was a bit pissed off and that I wanted her to know what happened in case she was put in the middle.

Guess where she was put the very next day and who tried to put her there!! X, X, X, X. Ivy told Vulgar how things looked from an outsiders perspective and that she should apologize, she even told Vulgar how to go about doing it. And we’ve all done it, we’ve all had skype drama we’ve copy / pasted to a friend, but the thing is, Vulgar was deliberately twisting things here because by her own admission, she did not like that Ivy and I spoke to each other more than we did to her. What she likes to justify this with was “I just wanted a friend to lean on”, no you didn’t. Also, “the one time I needed it, she was so callous to me”, bullshit, you came to me every single day with a problem and I always helped you through it, I held your hand through the polycoria drama, like I cringe at the thought of this post but: X, you can’t say I was callous to you the one time you needed it, not when you posted this, not when every day in the run up to this, you came to me with a new issue about someones’ OC “cockblocking one of your ships” or someone not wanting to be mains with you.

Anyway!! Vulgar told Ivy she was going to apologize, and to the surprise of probably no one, did not. Sadly, I no longer have screenshots because I’ve since changed computers and honestly, I did not anticipate having to write this, I thought we had all agreed privately to just hate each other and move tf on, but... back to the point, in spite of her being walked through all this I still had to ask Vulgar to address how unfair she was. She might have counted finally doing so as an apology, I did not. Again, it had nothing to do with Ivy... but guess who got dragged into it anyway — again? So, we each wound up in arguments with her:

X, X, X

Vulgar apologized to me twice after this, I accepted neither apology, the first because I was hungover and I honestly and thankfully went to sleep forgot to reply. The second because, at that point it was so far in the past and her name had been kept out of both mine and Ivy’s mouths for so long, that I didn’t think it even begged addressing, I wanted to just avoid her tbh: X, X. “Look shady?” Yes. Because you sent this to me whilst still misrepresenting the entire situation to anyone who would listen, you were not sorry at all.

Ivy never got an apology in spite of being dragged into this petty bullshit against her will btw. And I think it’s pretty rich of Vulgar to claim we freely talked shit about her meanwhile sending out spicy skype messages like this about Ivy; X. Also post this vague; X, which just so happens to coincide with when Ivy refused to leave the fandom even after being stalked, harassed and having her art stolen; X

EDIT: Btw, that was really classy of you introducing me to Ivy and then privately messaging me to tell me “she’s nice but I’ll never forget she vagued about you”, then linking me to her supposed vague, like I want you guys to be friends but keep in mind not to get too close to her. Nice try Vulgar, what she posted were fucking Melanie Martinez lyrics, you played yourself. 

EDIT 2: Because wow, the shit just keeps coming out about you, doesn’t it?! I realize the irony of saying this in this post of all things, but it was really nice of you to go around telling people who were new to the fandom that I was the source of all the discomfort and drama, that I was such a horrible person who was only out to bully people and chase them away for no good reason while we were still, as you put it “best friends”, while at that stage the only drama I had been involved in was when you came to me and said you were scared and uncomfortable because of someone, you’re such a good friend Vulgar (: I really appreciate that thing you did where you tried to isolate me from everyone else in the fandom, to what fucking end?! 

“ WHAT HILAL DID TO ME ”

Imagine being 28 and so asshurt by what a teenager says about you on the internet ( ie. that you shipped underage incest at the age of 27, which you... you did, you literally did: X, X, X, X ) that you... lie to another teenager and get them to write a callout post in your stead so that you can personally avoid the backlash while still damaging the reputation of said person. If it sounds familiar, it’s because it’s exactly what Vulgar did: X , X , X , X, X.

Here’s an album of the exchange Hilal had with Mysteriia following that “call out”, note how they don’t deny who and what prompted them to make it, only dance around the topic: X.

Was Hilal in the wrong to name drop Vulgar in the first place? Yes, it shouldn’t have been brought into the public eye. However, he didn’t do it without reason and he told her that: X. He has since left her alone entirely.

So then there’s... the paedophilia drama, which we won’t go into too much detail about, but Vulgar, you participated in, you agreed with Hilal of your own volition, and then because it was no longer convenient for you to, you lied to Skitty about it to paint me and Hilal ( and for some reason Ivy who wasn’t even involved, nor even in the rp community at the time, as far as I’m aware? ) in a negative light to them: X,  X. Anyway, Hilal’s posts pertaining to this drama can be found here: X, X. It was pretty much all dash drama and it happened back in 2015, so a lot of it’s hard to dig up again, I know both Hilal and I spoke out of anger and there are a lot of things I’d do differently, so maybe I did inflame things, and if I did, I apologize. But Vulgar, I think that’s a pretty cheap thing of you to say considering I confided in you about being a CSA victim.

Also by the by, Hilal and Elle don’t even know each other, so Vulgar, you can drop the notion that we all meet up buck ass naked under every blood moon, rattling skulls and talking shit about you or whatever it is you claim is going on: X. Elle and Hilal have nothing to do with each other, funny how different people have different reasons to dislike you, almost as if you’ve done many things to hurt many people in this fandom...

Oh yeah, and:

[03:04:32] tumblr use pourir: can you say that i dropped all my fucking blogs bc of vulgar [03:04:52] tumblr use pourir: and that i had anxiety literally eating away at me for weeks because i felt i was off base

“ WHAT THEY ALL DID TO ME ”

Yeah, it sure is awful when people don’t buy into your pass agress posts and the fact that you blame all your problems on other people without taking a step back to look at how you’re treating people, isn’t it: X, X.

It’s really, truly terrible they ask you to tag something and you lose your fucking shit with them: X, X ( relevant links: 1, 2.). And again, it’s another situation where things could have been handled better from all sides, but Bellus apologized for what happened, you did not.

Heartbreaking, when you vague about them during their first week in the fandom because someone who isn’t you makes them a theme, and you passive aggressively throw ms paint quality graphics at them: X.

Completely and utterly devastating when another roleplayer blocks you and you then proceed to make them uncomfortable by repeatedly messaging them, following them on all your subsequent blogs, in spite of people literally telling you not to, and then when you’re ignored / blocked again, starting rumours that they have a crush on you and are blocking you to save their relationship until the point they get so uncomfortable they leave the fandom.

When you guilt trip someone on account of... not putting you in their follow forever??? Because they forgot??? They literally forgot??? Not like that happens with follow forevers is it??? X, X, X. Also when said person makes it publicly known that they’re feeling extremely low and would like to be left alone and you continue to pressure them into speaking to you: X, X.

Or when you do some good old fashioned general guilt tripping: X, X, X, X, X, X.

EDIT: let’s not forget, you’re notorious for pressuring people into ships, for getting asshurt and bitching about them when they don’t want to go exclusive with you or add you as a main. 

And you often fall back on telling people it’s because you have anxiety, that you can’t help but go off at people because of it. You know what, I have bpad and guess who and who alone is 100% accountable for my actions? That’s right, it’s me!! Just because you have anxiety does not mean it is a free pass to treat people badly, you are accountable for your own behaviour, you ought to apologize and do it sincerely, not because someone asks you to, not because you want to save your own skin.

“ REPEATEDLY. ”

At first I was just gonna say no to this and leave it at that. But I’m guessing this is in reference to people from the tg fandom following Vulgar on other blogs in other fandoms, so...

You can’t really argue that Hilal followed you to your bsd blog when you followed him first; X.

You can’t argue that Ivy followed you to the Naruto fandom either when you followed her; X.

And lastly, you can’t say Elle followed you to the fma fandom when again: X, you followed her first and then immediately posted this hot vague about her and everyone else in the tg fandom. And even at that, you followed her blog from your tg ones before; X. Which doesn’t exactly do anything to dispel the idea that you’re follow baiting, does it?

If this is in reference to how Ivy and I “freely talked shit about you”, we didn’t. A lot of people will vouch for the fact that they didn’t hear about anything that happened until your behaviour towards Elle catalyzed this post. 

“ HAD YOU BEEN UPFRONT WITH YOUR ALIAS ”

First and foremost, fam, change your container dimensions. Secondly, “you failed to read my rules”, okay cool, but again, you followed Elle first, she broke none of your rules by following you back, unaware of who you were, and if you wanted your rules read so desperately, it might’ve been a good shout to read idk... literally the first line of hers: X, like if rules are so important to you, you can’t claim ignorance here.

And for the record, Elle’s alias has never been hidden or changed, it’s in plain sight on all her other blogs, so as to how you pulled this argument out of your ass, idk: X, X, X, X. You knew exactly who you were following, she didn’t trick you. She made a simple mistake because, in fact, if anyone is deliberately hiding their alias, it’s you, isn’t it? Because you know: X, X, X, X.

These are the rules you claim she didn’t read / broke: X, X. Tell me how she broke them, I’ll tell you how you’re lying.

“ YOU WON’T DRIVE ME OUT OF ANOTHER FANDOM ”

Nobody was trying to do that. Nobody tried to drive you out of this fandom, we all left you alone. I don’t know how you leaped to this conclusion that this is what anyone was trying to do, based on the fact that somebody followed you by accident because you changed your alias to avoid the negative reputation which you created for yourself in this fandom.

But anyway, I said this to you when we had our dispute and I’ll say it again, you fly off the handle at the bat of an eyelash, without any consideration for anyone’s feelings but your own and you really, really hurt people because of it. If you want a clean slate, if you want to leave all of this behind you, then you owe a lot of people an apology. You’re not a blameless victim, you’re a sentient adult and it’s time to start behaving like one.