#but anyways my gf is home and now i need to save up some more to get her other gf home

[hakusins]

SHE LITERALLY TOOK ALL OF MY PULLS BUT I DON'T REGRET IT ONE BIT. Anyways chat if you need me I'll be enjoying my newly purchased gf

[lascvitae]

♯┆ in my head .ᐟ

synopsis. ‎⸝⸝⸝ you didn’t realize how detrimental the saying ‘with fame comes great responsibility’ until you realized on christmas eve that your girlfriend stopped considering you a priority.

pairing daniela avancini x gf!reader genre angst, fluff if you squint, actually nvm this is just very angsty warnings established relationship, daniela kinda doesn’t care about reader’s feelings, reader just misses her girlfriend sm she feels like she’s lost her but she doesn’t wanna give up

word count ‎⸝⸝⸝ 1.3k.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ katty ᥫ᭡: i wanted to write smth for christmas 😞😞

masterlist.

it was the most wonderful time of the year.

for everyone else, at least. you had the ‘wonderful opportunity’ of working at your parent’s business while they traveled out of the country. they were truly in love, those two.

obviously, you agreed to watch the store. they wouldn’t be open on christmas day but they needed someone to monitor for the few hours they would be open on christmas eve.

so here you were, playing with the snow globes on the shelves of the retail business.

you hadn’t decorated for christmas yet. you were saving it so that you could do it with daniela — you had all sorts of ornaments and cute decorations that you couldn’t wait to show her.

but whether you admit it or not, the lack of decor really got to your mind. christmas was your favorite holiday, and your neighbors claimed that they could never tell if you were home or not — or they would have invited you to have christmas dinner with them earlier.

you didn’t want to decorate anyway, is what you would tell daniela when she told you that she didn’t have time.

but on the bright side, she had promised that she would come home to celebrate the holiday with you. it would be your second christmas together, but you had a strong feeling that nothing could ever top the first.

you two had visited her hometown and you had the opportunity to meet the two people that had shaped your girlfriend into who she is now.

they accepted your relationship with open arms, treating you as if you were their own. they were the exact opposite of your own parents.

this was around the time dream academy had finished airing, && the world already knew katseye’s lineup — and the love of your life had achieved her biggest dreams yet.

while you two made gingerbread cookies, daniela told you all about her time at dream academy. the way her eyes lit up as she decorated the cookies, the carefree tone in her voice and the way her contagious smile only made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

you were completely & utterly in love with her.

you had the honor of seeing her dance during high school and as you two cuddled up to each other with hot chocolate, you had the privilege of witnessing it through dream academy. her commentary only made the moment ten times better.

you had felt so much love & admiration for the girl — she was born to be a star.

she was your star. the way she held you close in her arms told you everything that you had needed to hear. no matter what she got you for christmas, the gift of her company was all you asked santa for.

smiling as you recalled the memories of simpler times, here you were, completely drained as you closed up your parent’s business on christmas eve. you checked your phone, seeing multiple invitations from your close relatives, as well as some distant ones, but the one contact you yearned for the most never appeared.

you clicked on the messages, only to be met with the main reasoning behind your loss of energy & lack of motivation.

you tried your hardest to understand. to put yourself in daniela’s shoes.

katseye’s popularity was increasing more and more every moment. their mama performance was phenomenal — and you made sure to text your girlfriend so she knew how proud & awestruck you were. the energy didn’t seem to be reciprocated once she texted you the next morning.

you were tired last night too, is what you would tell daniela when she said that she hadn’t seen your reply.

even if you saw that she was active on instagram.

you would wait. no, you are waiting for her, heartbeat matching the swift tapping of your thumbs as if it was a routine.

hey, dani <3 i’m otw home rn, i can’t wait to see u!!!

your expression betrayed the excitement of the message completely as you stepped into the uber, frowning at the sight of the christmas decorations.

you felt like the grinch. everyone was in the christmas spirit, and it just couldn’t seem to find you.

you were surprised that he even came on christmas eve, so you sucked it up and fixed your face. until le sserafim’s holiday remix of ‘perfect night’ had begun to play through the car’s stereo speakers.

you didn’t hate the song at all. but the correlation to katseye left a sour taste in your mouth, burning your heart as if lemon juice had been poured onto the scars of it.

your uber driver must have been embarrassed because he skipped the song and played snowman by sia instead. you couldn’t decide if that was better or worse.

finally, after what felt like ages, the not-so-soothing car ride had finally come to an end. after the driver kindly wished you a merry christmas & happy new year, you struggled to get your key into the doorknob correctly. this little action only fueled your growing frustration.

after carelessly tossing your bag onto the couch, you wandered into the kitchen. when dani wasn’t around to soothe your distress with cuddles and kisses, you baked to your favorite songs & danced your troubles away.

without thinking, you put your playlist on shuffle and fixated all of your attention making your cookie dough.

with some properly needed karaoke and choreography to your favorite song, you formed the cookies on the baking pan with a smile. perhaps you could salvage this christmas after all. you tasted the batter to see if it was right.

your vision had begun to blur as katseye’s most recent song, touch, played through your bluetooth speaker.

you were singing along happily. why wouldn’t you be? this is your girlfriend’s song, is what you told yourself when you didn’t want to face the reality of why your heart was breaking.

you tasted something salty on your lips, and it wasn’t the cookie dough. you were crying — desperately wiping at your face so no tears would fall into the baking mixture. the song had felt so personal now.

you would hate for daniela to eat salty cookies, is what you told yourself as you clinged onto last year’s memories.

you hurriedly skipped the song — similar to the uber driver.

you were two different souls. though you weren’t feeling the christmas spirit like he was, you were two strangers experiencing the same feeling of embarrassment.

just like how you and daniela were now two strangers experiencing the same feeling of falling out of love.

she was just better at hiding it than you were.

the next song that played was needy by ariana grande. had spotify been playing with you now?

you reached out for your phone again, fingers trembling as you saw a notification from the person you were currently falling apart over.

my love 💖

hii y/n

my love 💖

i actually won’t be able to make it until after new years ): i’m really really sorry

my love 💖

i love u so much, baby. call me tomorrow

my love 💖

ur gift is in my bottom drawer

your heart broke into a million pieces. you didn’t even want to bake the cookies anymore. you didn’t even want to celebrate christmas. you didn’t even want to open her christmas present. it wasn’t what you wanted.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you and daniela were recording yourselves making snowmen in her parent’s front yard.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when daniela spent the first 12 days of december proving herself to you.

you wanted to go back to 2023, to last christmas when you were safe in daniela’s arms after telling her how your parent’s didn’t even bother to celebrate christmas with you.

still, you responded as you usually do. it’s okay, i understand, is what you would say when you never truly did.

you felt like you weren’t asking for much. you were just a person who missed her person.

you had missed her so much that you hadn’t even realized you were full on sobbing now. everything had hit you at once. frustration, loneliness, anger, desperation, sadness, and guilt. you felt guilty for trapping her in this relationship with you. sadness because you had the worst day ever. desperation because you hadn’t seen your girlfriend in months. anger because you felt like she had abandoned you. loneliness because you only saw the love of your life through a screen. frustration because you just couldn’t figure it out. were you not enough for daniela?

yet another part of you felt like you were too good to her.

but there was always new year’s, right?

and that was the cycle of you and daniela’s relationship.

taglist — @saysirhc

[soppingwetlegs]

AgedUp!ProBakugo(21) x Plus sized reader (fem)

sorry I needed to make this or I was going to go insane. this is basically about me fr. I’m tired.

***you and Bakugo recently started dating, he saved you during one of his missions and you wanted to thank him by making him dinner, he’s been obsessed with you ever since. Tonight he finally wants to introduce you to his two closest friends (minus Deku sorry)***

warnings: swearing, insecure!gf, fluff, bakugo being a protective angry cute ass fucker.

************************************************

You felt a ball of nerves forming in your stomach after the question your boyfriend just asked you. “Hey, we’re getting dinner with my friends tonight, got it?” Okay, so maybe question was the wrong word. Due to your lack of response Katsuki turns to look at you, seeing the stressed expression that graced your features. “What’s a’matter with you?” The question snapped you out of your anxious thoughts and you blurt out a small “do I..have to go?”

Katsuki looks at you, obviously confused. “Of course you have to go, idiot. You’re my girlfriend and you haven’t met my friends yet, they’ve been dying to meet you what’s the problem?” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt as you mumble a response. “Wha’d ya say?” You look up to meet his piercing gaze that was laced with concern. You sigh “it’s just…I don’t know. I’m…bigger.. what if they think I’m ugly?”

Katsuki scrunches his face up in anger. “What the fuck are you on about? Why would they think you’re ugly?! Do you think you’re ugly?” You look down and stare at your hands. “I mean…sometimes..yeah..” you say, your voice soft. Katsuki’s expression shifts from angry to sympathetic. “Baby…c’mere..” he gestures to the spot next to him on the couch and you sadly walk over and sit next to the man, he takes your small soft hands in his rough calloused ones. “You are so damn beautiful..why would you ever think you’re ugly? Just hearing you say that dumb shit pisses me off.”

You shrug. “I don’t know..I just always see the beautiful girls on the other hero’s arms and they’re always way smaller than I am..nothing against them of course it just makes me feel a bit insecure..I feel like a handsome hero like you deserves to be with a woman equally as beautiful.” As you continue your explanation Katsuki becomes more upset. He had no idea your self image was so low. He reaches over and gently grabs your jaw, forcing you to look at him. “You are equally as beautiful. I had no idea you thought so little of yourself. I love every inch of your body, y/n. I don’t need a little twig bitch anyways, you think they could handle me?! Nah, I need a woman with some meat on ‘er bones so I can be rough.” He says, making you chuckle. “That’s body shaming, kats..but thank you, you’re sweet.” You say as you kiss his cheek.

You swallow your nerves and decide to go to dinner which absolutely thrilled Katsuki. You put on a blush pink dress that showcases your curves nicely, soft makeup to match and a pair of simple white flats, you’ve always hated heels, but sneakers felt too Demi. Once you were ready you met Katsuki downstairs, his eyes widen when he takes in your appearance. “God DAMN I’m so lucky..” he grabs your waist and pulls you against him, feeling up your hips and leaving feather like kisses along your neck. “I changed my mind, let’s stay home..go back upstairs.” He says in a husky voice causing you to giggle and a light blush to grace your features. “Katsss stop, I just spent so long getting ready and mentally preparing, we can’t back out now just cause you have a boner. Come on.” With a dramatic huff and a slew of cuss words we walked out the door and got in the car, heading to the restaurant.

We arrive to the restaurant, it’s a local steakhouse so it’s nothing too flashy. You were thankful your outfit was appropriate though, not too much, not too little. We walk inside and a red haired man shouts across the restaurant. “Hey, bakubro!! Get your ass over here, man!” Katsuki glares at him as we walk over to the table. “Don’t ever shout at me or tell me what to do again, shitty hair!” The man just rolls his eyes and gestures for us to have a seat, clearly used to Katsuki’s temperament. “So who’s this babe on your arm, Bakugo? Surely not your girlfriend, she’s waaay too hot for you.” You blush and stifle a giggle as you see Katsuki’s unimpressed expression. You reach your hand across the table with a soft smile. “I’m y/n, and you are?” He shakes your hand happily. “The names Eijiro Kirishima, but you probably know me as “Red Riot”, I’m kind of a big deal.” Katsuki scoffs. “You’re not even in the top 10, idiot. “Big deal” yeah, maybe in your mom’s eyes.” You nudge his arm and shoot him a look. “I’ve actually seen you on tv! Your quirk is really cool Eijiro.” You say with a little smirk. “Thank you y/n. Wow, Bakugo, too hot for you and too nice for you. How’d ya manage to bag this dime?” Katsuki clenches his jaw. “Shut up you idiot!”

After a bit more talking and joking with Eijiro another man arrives at the table, he has bright yellow hair and a shit eating grin on his face as he sees you next to Katsuki. “Woah woah woah, ma’am are you being held here against your will? Did this man force you to be here?” If looks could kill, the man would be dead where he stood with how Katsuki is looking at him. “I swear to god I will murder you, sparky.” Once again this man seems very used to Katsuki’s temper, he laughs it off and sits next to Eijiro, sharing a simple greeting before turning his attention back to you. “So, does this angel have a name?” Katsuki clenches his jaw. “Her name is y/n and she’s mine, got it, pikachu?” You reach your hand across the table to shake his. “It’s wonderful to meet you..uh..pikachu?” Katsuki and Eijiro both share a laugh at the yellow haired man’s expense. “N-no..my name is Denki Kaminari. Blasty over here is just a dick.” You chuckle and correct yourself. “Sorry about that, Denki.”

We all place our orders and talk amongst ourselves while we wait for the food, when the appetisers arrive we all grab a share and you eat while watching the boys talk. Denki glances over at you eating. “Damn lil mama, you sure can put it away!” You blush furiously as you set your fork down and stare at the table, feeling extremely insecure. Katsuki looks at Denki like he’s about to jump across the table. “Are you fucking dumb?!” Denki’s eyes widen. “W-what, Bakugo I was just making a joke! I was quoting white chicks! I-I didn’t mean anything bad by it, honest!” Denki holds his hands up in defense. “Keep your shitty references to yourself, idiot!” He grabs the plate of appetisers that we ordered and drags them closer to our side of the table. “You’re not getting anymore of our food, asshole.” Denki nods and looks at you apologetically before speaking. “I really didn’t mean any harm, y/n. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.” You force a small smile. You know he meant no ill will but you can’t deny the tightness it caused in your chest. You felt even more embarrassed having everyone look at you. You swallow the lump in your throat before responding. “It’s okay, really. I’m just a little sensitive I guess..” you say with a small chuckle causing Katsuki to chime in again. “You’re not sensitive, he’s just a fucking dumbass. Say some shit like that again and I’ll destroy you, sparky.” With that, the whole situation was over.

We finished our meals and had a few more conversations before we all split the bill and went our separate ways. Denki apologized another 100 times before we left and you continuously reassured him that it wasn’t a problem. On the drive back to your apartment Katsuki had his hand resting on your soft thigh, “You sure you’re alright, baby? ‘Cause I have no issue with going to that sparky bastards house and blowing it up, jus’ say the words.” You smile at his offer but politely deny it. “I’m okay, Kats. It hurt my feelings sure but I know he didn’t mean anything by it.” He gives your thigh a reassuring squeeze and smirks at the small squeal it emitted from you, never taking his eyes off the road. “I love you y/n.” “I love you too, Kats.”

We arrive home and head inside, slipping off our shoes. Katsuki barely gives you time to shrug off your coat before he’s grabbing your waist from behind and kissing your neck and shoulders, gently caressing and squeezing your hips. “You looked so sexy tonight..could barely keep my eyes off ya..” he mumbles between kisses. You giggle and press your ass against his crotch before turning to face him, pulling him into a kiss. As you pull away you smirk at him and whisper. “How about we take this upstairs?” He kisses you one more time before smiling and smacking your ass. “Finally…god, I thought you’d never ask.”

***this might be dogshit idk. I think it’s cute. nobody talk to me for several years. this is also my first ever fic so let’s keep that in mind guys✋🏼😔🤚🏼***

masterlist

[vanillavagrant]

I've gone on a Hiatus I guess

I got a job and now I have writer's block.

Some spoilers for the sequel. I do want to vent a little. And explain? And I bet someone is still going to be happy to read about the sequel. Don't read if you don't want to know anything about the plot or the new MC.

So basically: I wanted to practice being a more organized writer and decided I should start writing the sequel before finishing GFS. Sounds smart, right?

In the sequel (that doesn't have a name yet but the working title is Two baby angels need to save the world from a second coming of the ten plagues?! - In true Light Novel spirit.) Heaven has decided to let global warming do its thing to humanity because humans are awful. The new MC (Who I think is going to be named Mercy but I'm not 100% sure) and Bram team up to try convince the adult angels that humans aren't too bad and deserve a second chance.

I was excited to write this! It's going to be Doomer as hell and the archangels are going to be there, and Jack gets to show up, and I get to show off more of the world building.

But then real life went Doomer as hell, too.

And like, in the middle of seeing all the news about the floods in Europe and the hurricanes in America (and all the other shit that's going on), I thought, This is... too soon. I don't want to sit down and write about angels discussing unleashing all of this on humanity. Not when there's actual people still trying to rebuild their homes.

I'm pretty sure that's where the writer's block stems from anyway. Could also be that I started working and now my brain is doing completely different things than I was going in college.

[scarlet-fantasies]

Hey can u please make "eren taking care of sick/ill" gf headcanons? + I really like ur hc:)

Hi anon!

Thank you so much💗💗 and of course. Sorry this is kinda short and that it took a while. I feel making long hcs can be annoying sometimes so I will try to keep some things more brief.

-Scarlet

Taking care of their sick gf

::𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬::

sfw & nsfw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡

𝐼𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛

𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 --> 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑡-𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠 // 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙, 𝑟𝑒𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠. 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒. // 2021-𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.

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💊would be upset if you didn’t tell him and try to hide it.

💊he like doesn’t it when you deny that you're sick.

💊“I’m not sick.”

💊“Really, I guess there’s no reason for the tissue box then.”

💊“yeah but I have to blow my nose.”

💊”Aha so you are sick.”

💊“It’s just a cold.”

💊”it’s just a cold.” He’d mock leaving you speechless.

💊”I’m serious.” You’d pout only to have him grin.

💊”in that case you need to rest and someone to look out for you.”

💊“no But you have to go home and go to work tomorrow.”

💊”I’ll cancel, now take a rest and let me get you medicine.”

You constantly remind him not to kiss you.

💊“No Eren, no kisses.” You’d say worriedly.

💊He’d sigh, “I’m not gonna get sick, now let me kiss you”

💊 You pushed his mouth away from your lips with your fingers gentle. “No, I don’t—“ of course he refuses to listen to you and takes your hand away from his mouth only to surprise you with a kiss.

💊Although he’s grown to take less risks with kissing you when you’re sick and he’s learned that the hard way.

💊When you get chills he pulls you close to keep your warm.

💊Or he sits on your bed beside you to warm you up.

💊His hand on the back of your head as you have your face buried into his chest.

💊“You’re going to get sick.”

💊“Shhh, quiet babe, go to sleep.”

💊“But, Eren.”

💊“This flu only attacks weak babies, now sleep.”

💊“I’m not a baby.”

💊“Yes. You. Are.” He’d grin.

💊 He doesn’t like it when you get out of bed

💊 Head kisses when you watch movies

💊 He reads to you and you fall asleep.

💊“So then . . . Y/n, babe? You fell asleep.” He’d smile finding you cute before putting the blanket over you.

💊 He cannot cook to save his life so he’d ask his mom to make you something because he loves you anyways.😊

💊 Although with him telling her that you’re sick she’s going to check on you.

💊“Omg is she okay? That poor girl.”

💊“She’s fine she just has a cold.”

💊 She ends up making a lot of food for you that you even have left overs for a day or so since she knows it’s hard to cook when you’re sick and bc Eren isn’t good at cooking.

💊 When he picks up your medicine at the store he also likes to pick up snacks, some which are your favorite and others which you two can try together.

💊 So you always kinda look forward to it.

💊“Okay I got you your medicine but I also got some snacks.”

💊“You didn’t have too.”

💊“But you would’ve wanted me to.” He’d add making you smile as you pat the spot on your bed next to you.

💊“This is why I love you.” You’d tease.

💊“For food?” He’d raise a brow teasing back.

💊 You’d smile, “No, because you know my needs.” You’d giggle.

💊 He’d give you a smug look leaning in to kiss your head, “Hmm needs? And are there any other needs my girlfriend has tonight?”

💊 You’d laugh, as he turned his back to set up the amount of medicine needed.“Not any that I could think of, but did you have something in mind?” *

💊 He turned to look at you with a smirk before pinning you to the bed, “Plenty.”

@bi-effing-simp @sofijaeger @lucifugovs @xxghoulishspritexx @sp00ksic0la @keithandlevi-ontheroof @songbirdgardensworld

@bubs-world

::Previous Post::

1

[scum-belina]

While dealing with covid I still have to do my usual routine of filling up water jugs since I've not had running water in two years due to ruined plumbing neither my mom nor I can afford to fix. Can't even try to save up for it at this point because we still have over $2000 in property taxes to pay on our small lot which is insane, and I still need to get new tires desperately. The stress and worry were already making me sick I didn't need covid on top of it.

But now whenever I go to my neighbors rose's to fill up jugs, I often get harassed by my other neighbor Lupe who according to Rose is jealous of how close I am with her. She treats Rose like a mother figure and Rose is and grandma figure to me and I'm just??? Leave me alone??? Rose has INSISTED I fill up my water jugs or do laundry at her place any time. She told me even when she's not home to just use her spare key she hid on her porch and come on in and fill up.

Last week before I even got sick, I was there filling up while Rose was gone and Lupe stormed in and demanded to know who was there (like she didn't recognize my car she drives by every day???) And then demanded to know why i wasn't wearing a mask in Rose's house (this woman doesn't give a shit about masks, she just wanted to start shit with me. Also I literally had one in my car I was heading back to out on before she stormed in.)

I told Rose about it and she was pissed bc she had already told Lupe to leave me alone, which is bizarre because I literally do nothing to Lupe. Last time I saw her was a year ago and we always got along and had a good time at rose's. But now I've been told she views me as a threat and wants to accuse me of taking advantage of Rose even though Rose herself is of complete sound mind and I would never do that to anyone. Hell I'm embarrassed and ashamed as hell to have to fetch my water from other people.

It's humiliating and tiring. Sometimes I have to fill up 30 gallons multiple times a week, carry them to my car, then carry them to my porch, then into my house. My arms be strong as hell tho ngl. Anyways Lupe had her ex husband cover rose's outside faucet last year (WAY before freezing weather season, so I guess even then she was trying to give me trouble) where I couldn't use it easily at all, so I gave up and started going inside, now that I'm sick and won't go in her house I asked Rose if I could uncover it all and she said absolutely and don't even worry about covering it back up.

The thing is that I'm already so low. I can barely get any lower in life than I am. So why harass me over getting water??? It's not even her fucking property. Rose told her I'm trusted and allowed to come and go as I need and please and I think that's pissed her off even more.

There's evidence that Lupe might be hoping to get rose's money, home, and car,once she dies, but I know Rose and that's not her will at all. She said Lupe makes her uncomfortable bc she does things to rose's house without her permission like changing her curtains and furniture??? WHO DOES THAT

Lupe also has a trait that has always troubled me where she seems to be a self-hating Hispanic. I've heard her say the most vile things about other Hispanic neighbors that literally do nothing wrong??? Like one time she saw some hanging out their laundry on a cloudy day and was like "typical dirty wetbacks" and I was like "wtf girl that's horrible to say. i've had to do that before too don't hate on someone for doing what they have to do"

she has a son, his gf and another kid who live with her and most of them are on disability so she be reaping their checks and when she first moved right across from Rose last year, she and her crew IMMEDIATELY made Rose get sick bc they weren't cautious around her at all, so her trying to make me feel bad like I was TRYING to make Rose sick even though Rose wasn't even there and I told her I wiped any door or faucet handle I touch down with alcohol before I leave, is alllll bullshit. She's been stewing to find fault with me for months and that was her chance and it failed big time with me AND with Rose later that day.

It's so bizarre. To me, Rose is a nice grandmotherly in her own odd way neighbor. I visit her and we talk about anything and everything. Even before I needed water I would go over there just to hang out and get out of my own head for a while. But it's not like I go over there or talk to her every day. Why am I such a threat to someone like Lupe. I really don't get it. Her and her crew have being doing so much more to harass me and it's got me so grieved and scared. I just want to live in a better place.

Even when I go to my maternal grandma's, other relatives will mock or harass me for filling up jugs or doing laundry there. And my maternal grandma has well water so she doesn't even pay a damn water bill. Like, why kick me when I'm already down? It's not like I just sit around and do nothing. I do everything I can to earn money with odd jobs but have had no luck on getting a decent job or even part-time job. It devastates and humiliates me. I cry myself to sleep more often than not at my whole life situation. I don't need anyone else to make me feel worse than I already do.

I understand if you said or thought "I ain't reading all of that". I really do. This is a rambling mess. I just needed to vent out a little bit of that stupidity that's been going on recently in my life. I'm so tired and scared all the time.

[sadass-cat]

It never bothered me that much but lately it does more and more that my brother does not have a job while ive had one for as soon as i was able to. He had one job last summer that he resigned of as soon as he could and idk.

When i was 14 our dad used got into my room and yelled at me that he moved out (aka didnt like his mum that was making him go to school and left to work on a ship for months) so he couldnt stand that me, his 14y old daughter wasnt looking for one and to remember this is HIS home and not mine and when im 21 im not welcome here. Ive had some random jobs as teen on festivals and handing flayers, just friends parents needing someone to man the register, help out at their company then at 16/17 had actual cintracted job and then since 19 on constant employment and collage.

And its nice to have a job and own money, people judge you when you don't

i also do like the fact that if i got kicked out i do have some savings for rent and such. But then i dont understand why my brother is not held up to the same standard. Since dad came back hes been pressuring him to have a job and do some work around the house but thats such a bad moment for this, he is on the last semester, the one semester where he actually needs to focus on collage and now my dads been getting pissy and insulting him over it

And idk, i do think he should focus on school too so im not sure why it bothers me so much, but then i had to leave home today to go to work and didnt have enough time to finish what i wanted, didnt have enough time to draw, to learn while he just gets all money when he asks mum, spends most of his time on parties, when i was leaving he was going to visit a freind out of town that just got a horse and it hurts me a bit

Maybe because i dont really have friends so him just going out all the time reminds so much more of the fact but also just knowing he is off having fun while i have to work and when im back i need to learn math just annoys me. Especially since hes always cold towards me showing how much we are not friends but still asking me to pick him up from places it just feels so unfair. Why do things come so easly to him while for me its just a uphill all the time. Ive been the one both of my parents come to talk about their stuff, to be the one help with paperwork does groceries and most cleaning, while he walks around clothed darkly with endless woe is me, how he is gonna kill himself anyway so why bother to immense distress of his gf. One that is employed and does all the housechores he got assigned to

And idk, i wanna be more friends on one side but on other i dont understand. I cant get over how unfair this feels, how no matter how hard i try i fail but then he is rewarded for every piece of effort

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary382

10/8-9/24

tuesday - wednesday

i got an ending, in fear and hunger.

i got ending d... not what i wanted, really... but it is an ending. it's not disappointing though, now i know what i'd have to do to get somewhere better / get ending a, i could have gotten there but i was so low on resources, by the point i was at. i should just do another run, and roll cahara again, get dash, and get le'garde, get rag, and the girl, and try to get overpowered i guess. it's interesting how the game goes, and how weird it gets at the end, i also find it interesting how ending a seems like (i've now allowed myself to look up more spoilery stuff...because i am curious about the lore stuff...) the one that would construct the most meaning, as in, a god that's more than some expression of human nature, as the ancient gods are, but instead an expression of what happens to drives when faced with abuse, the response to the cruelty of systems leading to a worse world, it is sad though, the little girl becoming an icon of ressentiment... i do feel really bad for her, and i really like here.

but also, beating the game means i get to play the 2nd one... and i started that... obv i am running marina. maybe i'll regret that, she seems kinda weak i guess. but i dunno. we both have bangs, and gender stuff, and look kind of funny. she has swag, i like that her being a girl is a matter of "it felt normal, why trouble oneself over it?" after being raised as such. i am just being normal too !! the world is just crazy and hates it or whatever.

i didn't do very much that was creative today. suddenly scared of listening to my music again... i guess playing games is either me taking a break or me procrastinating, i don't know how harmful it really is. i guess i'm up too late again, and i should definitely not be today. but another good reason for that is that i had to go to the store today, by myself, a very long walk, i went to two stores, one for produce, and then i went to target to get like, snacks i guess, because the place i went for produce is an asian market, that doesn't really mean much it's just convenient, maybe i should try the other one that's like a little closer to save myself some pain though. i ended up having to carry a lot of stuff in a huge ikea bag all the way home and i'm still really sore and i think i'll wake up and hurt a lot. not fun. i was listening to this on the way home it's probably the only psychedelic experience open to me (because i'm drug free (or there are others, sex, different kinds of pain and stuff, being scared, too, those are all things i like, maybe in excess... sorry (i don't know who i'm apologizing to, i just feel sorry (is sorry a psychedelic experience?)))). here is the song, anyway:

great cover art, also, super super heart luv luv luv.

i need to tell a friend who is gonna be in vegas on thursday where i'm gonna be, cuz we'll be at a concert, my gf and i, downtown. hope she can see us then. she'll be here for a festival... i think a band dropped and.... get this... the blood brothers are coming here and i can't go!!! cuz it's too much money. super sad about that, and a little sad the band i'm seeing thursday is dfa1979 who are just kinda fun whitebelty dance punk, which is nice, i like some of their songs, not super crazy about them but it is good music, sometimes really ratty and fucked sounding, which i like, and i can see a guy's weird setup, i wanna see what amp he runs keys thru, see if that'll help me figure anything out for my music. also wanna see the weirdo crowd. i'm just sad i can't see the blood brothers. who i also listened to on my hellish journey today.

i had a lot of people stare at me, like, they thought i looked okay i guess because they seemed like they wanted to fuck me. one guy asked if i play soccer because i look like it. i know he means my legs because they're um, developed, that whole area, you know thighs and what's above the thighs and people do like to stare i guess because i wear shorts and like having them out... it makes me feel dirty even though i just want to be cute, but this guy wasn't so bad, or it's weird a little but him saying it in such an odd way, it just feels a little, it's not so weird, it's not as weird as guys staring and muttering "nice" under their breaths. or the people who say nothing at all. maybe i'm delusional? maybe i'm just crazy ugly and can only sense that sometimes but can't "tell" because i can't "tell" anything.

well, whatevs. i need to sleep, honest. oh i have to read a friend's writing tomorrow too. that should be exciting.

okay,

so.

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bigpornoking]

An odd little lie

When we started speaking, in earnest, I asked her if she believed in love, I wanted to see if maybe she was like me. Single not because we can't find someone, but because we did and we know it isn't meant to be. And ever since we've become aimless, coping in our own ways, she has her pills and her powders and me with my ever changing set of spreading legs. I thought she was too cute to be so sad and lonely and since she's a lesbian I can totally get her a cutie gf lol. No mental illness on earth that sucking on a nice pair of tiddies can't cure 😭 I sent her pics of women I find attractive and asked her to send me pics of women she find's attractive, so I could get a sense of what I should be out on the look out for. (Eva Mendes circa 2011 is her sweet spot I would say but really what do I know.) I think she's too shy, nervous and anxiety riddled to be able to make a move on a girl or on a guy for that matter, thank goodness she so pretty or she'd be a virgin till this day 😭

I thought things would be so perfect with my cute little lesbian bestie lol. I've always wanted lesbian best friend ever since I was 15 and the girl I saw as a little sister did NOT see me as a big brother lmao that was a disaster. Then there was that gaming "friend" who couldn't use me to cheat on her boyfriend fast enough lmao kill me. Yeah no more straight female friends for me, if they actually want to be friends they'll still talk to me AFTER we fuck so yeah.

ANYWAY When she started getting all mushy and told me she was bi at first I thought this was a sex work ploy to wring more money out of me but I really couldn't spend money on online sex work, I don't have any vices and paying someone so you can jerk yourself off seems like lame way to lose all your money to me. It's not that she's not super hot or bad at what she does it's just I'd prefer escorts and hookers to get some real bang for my buck y'know?

But when I said she was giving off "sex work vibes" during the start of what seem to be some good ol' cybersex she got so fucking mad. She said it wasn't sex work and that she liked me and that she was horny but now she doesn't like me anymore. I mean I didn't mean to rebuff her like that and make her feel bad, I told her many times already I wasn't talking to her or supporting her for her sex work. So I was just confused because if you're a lesbian and the online sex work is for money why would you try to get intimate with me, a straight man?

Anyway I just wrote it off has her being lonely and horny and me being a convenient fuck as per usual for my life it seems. After that I asked her if she'd be okay being a step mom because I think finding her a 40 something finically stable man might be easier and sometimes they're divorced and have kids so y'know, gotta make sure it's not a deal breaker for her. And I'd make sure he wasn't just a random y'know like he'd have to be kind to her, understand her needs, and be able to provide for her and protect her like she deserves. Not that I'd get her some doormat either lmao I'm not trying to set up some poor guy to hate his life, they'd have to compliment one another, y'know pass my vibe check.

And when she continued sending me nudes and starting cybersex sessions I really didn't think she was actually into me, like yeah right this 10/10 knock out beauty with the big brain and sharp tounge wants to be MY girlfriend!? Even after I told her I live in the ghetto and work a part time work from home job and the money I give her is just extra money I have saved that would've been spent on fwbs back in the heydays!? Yeah, no, too good to be true. Or is it that the girl has credit cards to pay off because of the spike in interests rates (thanks Joe Biden) and I have a cashapp 😩

I would've have believed her too if I knew what I know now, that her answer to my question was a lie. An odd little lie, see when I asked her "Do you believe in love?" I said I do and all that it entails, romance, loving love, love songs, love stories, that I'm a hopeless romantic. Her on the other hand, she said no, she said that she never believed in love and when they asked her as a group when she was a waitress like 10 yrs ago her answer was no even then in front of everyone.

But seeing her tumblr blog from 10 years ago tells a very different tale, it tells of a girl who knows love, love sickness, love longing, love poems, love songs and heartbreak. I wish women didn't lie for no reason, I wish she would've told me the truth, I wish I knew she was just. like. me.

[channelworldbluez]

ME GETTING HIGH AF FOR THE FIRST TIME……

So luck was on my side this week, if we can call it that, and it all started with Thursday, where because of a storm, got sent home early from work, but not only that, my partner for that workday was a super cool woman who stayed in my area and took me home instead of me taking the bus. So I decided to take this early opportunity to change into more comfortable clothes, catch the next available train to visit my gf and spend the day with her. Especially since 1.) I hadn’t seen her in a while because of work and 2.) had such a rough week with another work partner and needed some emotional support I guess.

Anyways this was us laid up in her momma bed watching tv and just vibing and cuddling with each other because her mom wasn’t home and knowing damn well if she wasn’t on vacation and caught us will be in fucking trouble lmaooo

Which was unfortunately cut short because her Aunt(who hates my ass) doesn’t like the fact that I’m snuggled close to her GROWN niece in a house that isn’t even hers(but my gfs mom) but whatever. She looks at me like I’m el Diablo because she’s so “super religious” and I have “bad vibes” 😒

Anyways, this leads to the weekend:

Since my company is on Storm Watch(meaning we can’t work if it’s storming due to safety) I got Friday off as well as the weekend. So I took this opportunity to book me and my gf a hotel for the weekend. Since every time we try to chill and be intimate, we can’t do shit without people bothering us plus the “woes of being an adult living at home blah blah blah”(dont worry I’m working on this and putting savings away) . So me and her just wanted one fucking day to just chill and fuck lmaoo.

So I booked the hotel on a Friday through the hotel app(this will be my first mistake) and head out closer to where she is and check in. Apparently , they didn’t see my reservation(even though they charged me) and made a new one. And despite being pissed tf off because now I got $400 on hold on my account, $200 of that apparently for no reason, I spent time talking to every fucking body and finally my bank said when it’s posted they’ll reverse the shit(since I have proof).

So I’m pissed about that, and still am as I go pick up my gf so we can get something to eat. But what happens next is wild and all started with this little thing:

Yes, that is a Sativa weed pen(or whatever tf it’s called and clearly this ignorance will make sense soon) we bought at the smoke shop near where we were gonna eat. My gf is like “yo let’s see what’s inside.” And I’m like yeah sure. Might even get me a nicotine pen while I’m here.

So we go in, greeted by two cool ass guys(what you would expect working at a smoke shop) and they’re just like ohhh we got some budget weed pens there like $15 but don’t let the price fool ya! They hit nice or whatever. And my gf goes bet I want one! So she’s gets the pen and takes it and is just going ham okay like the weed pro that she is! And the two guys there are like losing their minds and I’m just looking at my gf like “woahhh you’re so fucking cool” and then the she turns to me and says, “you should get one!”try it!”

Now me being the virgin baby who never does drugs ever I’m like sure okay what do I do puff it right???

And I do, and I’m immediately coughing up a storm because of this. And I’m like fine I don’t feel shit….waste of $15

But then it HIT ME LIKE A SEMI TRUCK.

We were leaving the smoke shop and headed to Metro(gf wanted to pay her phone bill right quick) and I’m all fine and dandy(still kinda pissed about the hotel double charge) but then I FEEL IT.

Time is slowing down, people are talking slowly, I’m moving slowly, I’m talking slowly, everything is SLOW.

And because it happened so quick, like my mood changes so quickly, I start freaking out, like panic attack mode, and I’m like telling my girl “I need to get out of here I need to leave!”

So she’s calming my high ass down, she’s like “we’ll get some food you’ll feel okay.” And I’m like in another world.

Sounds are more apparent to me, I notice the wind hitting me different(it was a windy day) I start smiling more when my gf hugs me, music sounds more intense to me, everything is just.:..more??? Nigga idk, but every time something would disrupt this calmness I’d panick and get disgruntled. Like when the food worker kept asking me shit(which is his job lol) I wanted to punch him lmaooo. So my gf is like let’s just go home and get you home.

So the walk home is…hazy….at best but…I know I was high af. Like is this why yall niggas smoke weed???? Well damn I see now….

So we get to her house, and I’m just like cuddling her and playing with her hair and like I feel sooooo goood and I’m listening to music and like music sounds different?? Like I noticed how different instruments sound like idk lmaooo.

My gf meanwhile is just enjoying the fuck outta this, and just holding me and laughing because I’m just saying all this dumb ass shit that comes to my head. And n she’s just consoling her dumb high ass gf at this point.

Also I’m hungry!!! I had like a sub sandwich plus a family size bag of hot Cheetos, milk, and some soda…. And some gummies and a whole box of cookies….

Anyways, I go head back to the hotel(she’s coming the following day) and just have the best sleep of my life as soon as I get in the room and got in the bed

Saturday:

Saturday I wake up finally myself lol. And then basically we started the day with some brunch at First Watch and went back to the hotel. We had this bomb ass sandwich

[sleepless-in-transitory-thoughts]

I look at my nephew and how much joy this kid has in his heart. He is so hyperactive and so incredibly smart and emotionally intelligent at just 7 years old. He's aware that his mum (my sister) is in jail. He doesn't know what for. I don't even know that he understands what jail is and why people get sent there. Mum said he used to get really sad when they visit my sister in jail. The first time after seeing her, when they walked outside the door, he had his head down. When mum asked him what's wrong and lifted his head up gently by his chin, tears were streaming down his face and he was so very sad. He's okay now. But that kind of pain doesn't just disappear. Everything that has happened to his mum that he's seen, everything that he's experiencing with her being away from him, his dad not having custody of him because he went to jail too not that long ago for a couple of years...I know that this all has planted some seed inside of him and it will grow one day. I just hope that he will be strong enough to get through it when he's older. I want to help him and be there for him and ensure he knows that he is very loved and that I am here for him. This kid is so precious and he deserves the world. My family are so sad, all of them. I feel kind of awful that I moved to a different state and left them all behind. I managed to create a great life for myself here. I have managed to grow and learn and unlearn and heal from traumas. I am still continuing to change, I am still learning. But I am in such a better place than where my family are even though we all went through the same family tragedies together. I want to save them, but I can't single-handedly do that. I want to at least save enough money to help my mother retire as soon as practicable. I want to move her and my nephew here to this city to live with me. I want mum to rest and I want Jaxon to be brought up by me because I just know that I will have what it takes to help raise him well. I want to nurture his truest self, allow him to be silly, laugh, play. I want to give him the things he doesn't get from being at home with my mum and from my sister and his dad being away. I don't want him to grow up believing that he isn't worthy of love or that nobody wants him and they just leave him. He said that he wants to stay here with me. I think he likes that I let him have fun and that I took him to the LEGO store and bought him a couple of minecraft sets which he has already finished building. I can already sense by the way he talks and how he says things, that he already has formed an attachment to me, but he pushes it down. Rather than saying he's gonna miss me when he goes back home with my mum, he told me that I should come for his birthday. His birthday is on the 27th June, but he said to come on the 25th because he will be at school on the 25th June and then I should go home in two days. I think he said two days, because he will be back at school and he knows he can't see me during the days anyway. Funny kid. His logic makes a lot of sense to me. I completely understand why he thinks the way he does. He's neurodivergent for sure. The way he thinks makes absolute sense to me. I see myself a lot in him, except he's a lot more energetic and is hyperactive (I was very quiet as a kid but my mind was always busy and wanting to do things - which is why I guess I went wandering the streets alone when I was in Philippines as I couldn't ever just sit still). Anyway, I think this post has been long enough. I just want to finish off by saying that I think, my mother is seeing all the ways she needs to care for my nephew now, that she never did when my siblings and I were kids. I think she feels a lot of guilt because all the ways she looks after him, she never gave to us as part of being our mother. She's trying to make up for it I think. She's been paying for our dinners and stuff, she's been extra kind to me. She loves my partner. She's never liked any of my gf's before. Luce is the first one that she's liked and has opened up to. This makes me happy, because I trust my mother.

[sj-ficrecs]

fic rec 11!

just a random collection of what I’ve read and enjoyed lately. as usual, no specific order.

This is purely a fic rec blog, always reblogging fics I enjoy. usually Bucky x reader, sometimes Steve x reader, Chris Beck x reader, etc. So check out more I’ve reblogged on this page. :) See my past fic recs below:

PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE! // Q & A

(divider by @bwbatta)

Bucky x reader:

Flashing Lights by @pellucid-constellations​ Paramedic!Bucky x reader

“Bucky’s worst fears come true when he’s called to a scene. If he’s the one with the dangerous job, then why is it your life that’s hanging in the balance?”

Operation: Freefall by @constantwriter85​ Bucky x reader

“When Bucky fell from the train in 1945, he didn’t just leave behind his family and friends. He left behind the girl he was going to marry, a girl he never stopped loving. Decades later, Bucky continued to search for her, only to find out that she had disappeared without a trace in 1955. But when Steve hands over the shield to Sam Wilson, he also has something for his childhood friend—a redacted S.H.I.E.L.D. file code-named Operation: Freefall, a file with more questions than answers. With Sam’s help and a handful of Pym Particles, the file sends Bucky on a trip to the past, trying to solve the mystery and save the woman he still loves.”

Recovery by @wicked-mind​ Biker!Bucky x reader

“After going through rehab and recovering, you move back to town to live with your mother as you sort out what to do with your life, but your mom has other plans that include hooking you up with a hot biker by the name of James ‘Bucky’ Barnes”

Teacher’s Favorite + Sharing My Sweetheart by @suitk0via​ Single dad!Bucky x teacher!reader

“You are first grade teacher and Bucky is a single dad who wants to be involved with everything his little girl - Elaine - does. He’s the dad all the parent’s and faculty drool over. You quickly become Elaine’s favorite teacher and Bucky’s just gotta meet you.”

Uninvited by @mymoonagedaydream​ modern!Bucky x reader

Reader is a close friend of Sam’s. Sam and Bucky are roommates, so reader spends a lot of time with them. Bucky becomes colder towards reader and they ask Sam about it - finding out Bucky, who is taken, is falling out of love w/ his gf because he has a crush on reader.

You Know Me Too Well by @nexusnyx​ Tattoo Artist!Bucky x reader

“there is a thin line between pain and pleasure. that line is real and palpable, except for the times when you sit in bucky barnes’ table and feel his hands holding your skin. his job demands him to hurt you, but the only problem is that you enjoy it. a lot.”

The Slip Up by @justkending​ dad!Bucky x reader

“After a last hurrah to graduating college with a future to be a family practitioner, a little slip up happens… Seven years down the road, just when things just now seem to be going smoothly, Y/N approaches that slip up from all those years ago. She’s not looking for anything right now. She is just where she wants to be in life. It seems the universe has a different idea though. One called James Barnes.”

Invisible String series by @dirty-holy-things​ Bucky x reader

“You were fairly certain that landing a date through court-ordered therapy was some sort of HIPAA violation, if not just an ethical one, but you couldn’t help but be intrigued by the mysterious storm cloud of a man who you shared the waiting room with every Thursday.”

Sacrifice by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“In the midst of an attack, you’re dosed with an unknown chemical and your healing ability becomes compromised.”

Purgatory by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.”

Behind the Storm by @wkemeup​ Bucky x reader

“On a mission, you’re hit with a spell that takes away your ability to see. Bucky does what he can to make you feel safe.”

We Were Screaming in Color by @samwlscns​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“james buchanan barnes was your soulmate and you were his. despite everything the world threw your way, bucky always kept his promise to make his way back home to you. even if that meant having to lose him more than once.”

Bulova by @babycap​ Bucky x reader

“In the five years between the two snaps that changed it all, life had moved on, as life is want to do. In the aftermath of that final battle, you discover that time waited for no one (least of all you), and those you loved marched forward into it without you. Sam suggests you volunteer at the local retirement community to keep you busy, keep your mind from lingering on what—and who—you lost. In giving back, you find that time can be just as generous as it is cruel. A non-canon compliant, friends-to-lovers fic.”

And They’re Roommates by @golden-barnes​ Modern bartender/roommate!Bucky x reader, New Girl au

“Your boyfriend cheats on you, and now you have nowhere to go. So when you found an ad for a shared loft, you didn’t hesitate to say yes. Come to the realization that you will be sharing it with four guys. Four guys, one of them who is extremely hot and zero brain cells between any of them. What else could you ask for?”

Keep Me Cool by @chouettedubois​ Bucky x reader

“You and Bucky are on your third undercover mission acting as a couple. Things go awry when you fall ill. Cue caretaker!Bucky to the rescue.”

Love in the Workplace by @cxddlyash​ Gardener!Bucky x Receptionist!reader

Working at the same hotel, a new gardener is recently hired.

“Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the new gardener. 

“What is it?” Sarah asks you and you clear your throat before tearing your gaze from the man.

“Uh, nothing. I finally see the gardener that the hotel hired,” you mention while walking closer to the place.”

Dad Biker!Bucky being adorable with his kids blurb by @angrythingstarlight​ dad biker!Bucky x reader

dad biker Bucky and his kids making pancakes and breakfast for mom :)

Tap by @houseravenclaws​ Bucky x reader

“bucky never talked much. he fell in love anyway.”

Teach Me How to Love by @thefalconthatcriedwolf​ Godfather/single dad!Bucky x teacher!reader

“Natasha leaves behind her precious daughter, Yelena, and with her dying breath asks Bucky to look after her. You happen to have Yelena in your class this school year.”

To Build a Home by @buckyjamess-archive​ @buckyjamess​​ Mechanic/single dad!Bucky x single mom!reader

“a mechanic and a nurse walk into a schoolyard..both new in the single parent life, chaos arises when the two come together but they wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A Good Kind of Fire by @dolcezzasfantasy​ Modern!Bucky x reader

“Character A runs a flower shop downtown. Character B is terribly allergic to flowers.”

If I Could Fly by @ceeellewrites​ actor!Bucky x actress!reader, social media au

“Bucky Barnes is an actor with a small (just a tiny) celebrity crush on Y/N L/N, one of the industry’s well-known actress. Well, it’s just a celebrity crush, what could go wrong?”

The Rumour by @sidepartskinnyjeans​ Bucky x reader

“after a, mostly, chance meeting with Sergeant Barnes starts a rumour around the compound that soon gets out of hand.”

See the World the Way You Do by @vanderlustwords​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“You start to see colour when you meet your soulmate. Bucky thinks that soulmates are a one of a kind thing—you get one and that’s it. His world used to be colourful once and then he lost that. He’s resigned to see black and white for the rest of his life…until flashes of colours would appear from the corner of his eye. And it seemed to happen more and more as Bucky spends time with you.”

Crawl Home to Her by @nexusnyx​ Bucky x reader

“when bucky finaly returns from his mission, he finds you sleeping in his sofa and the apartment much different than when he left. much prettier, with a touch of home. apparently, while he was away you took his advice to “do what you want with the place, doll” seriously - or as a distraction - and now he got to come home to this.bucky’s heart takes a leap and he stands there for a second, frozen in his spot.”

Signed by the Author by @wintersfilm​ Bucky x reader

“on a mission to improve his conversations with sam, bucky wanders brooklyn and into a bookstore where he finds his new favourite book and the most adorable bookseller he has ever laid eyes on.”

Seasons of Love by @constantwriter85​ Army vet!Bucky x reader, modern au

“Bucky gets a service dog, but Winter’s only got eyes for the dog across the park…and her owner.”

One Single Thread of Gold (Tied Me to You) by @pietrotica​ Bucky x reader, soulmate au

“on your sixteenth birthday, the first words your soulmate will speak to you appear on your wrist. in a world where it’s quite common to get a simple ’hi what can i get you’ or common phrases, you’ve managed to get their name. that doesn’t make it easier to find him.”

Sunday is a Family Day by @lazyangeltreemoney​ Bodyguard!Bucky x rockstar!reader

“You’re stubborn, annoying and hot as hell which seems to be an awful combo to mix with Bucky Barnes. However one day he realises he got you all wrong and now there’s a little kid in the mix that needs both of your help.”

[cqsuanla]

we need some mediocre nat fluff now to hear us from that stab in the heart fic

gotchu baby

content warnings: nsfw i sprinkled in some porn so, as usual peak mediocrity

she brings white claw to meet ur friends<3 and youre like i set a low bar for you and youre playing limbo with it. and yet ur friends are like so impressed by her because shes an avenger and she just smirks at you over the table

you ask her why she doesnt speak russian to you regularly and shes like well u dont speak clown to me regularly? and u whack her stomach but she just pulls u in for a hug and ur like ur so annoying but u kiss her anyway

when u go for a walk w her through the park and u see an ice cream truck ur like go buy us a cone and shes like wtf why dont U buy it bitch and ur like u wear the strap, u pay the bill

shes just like :| but goes and pays for it anyway but before u can even take a bite of it, she eats the whole thing and shes like yeah look i need the energy, i burn so much of it putting up w ur ass

you rolling ur eyes: you love putting my ass up

nat: very true<3

sometimes u take naps in her office and she comes in and wakes u up and is like come eat me out under my table and ur like ??? u didnt even say hi bro tf but like ur a slut so yeah

sometimes u show up to bring her lunch so she makes a joke about how its reciprocal: she eats something and u eat something

when halloween rolls around and they have those fake decorations, u buy a bag of spiders and u find her at the gym and u throw them at her and ur like "for halloween im you, i attack people with my spider bullshit" she gets u in the ring and slams you on ur back and ur like "i still dont regret doing that" and she sits on your waist, straddling u and rolls her eyes but shes smiling fondly down at u and she kisses u and then grabs ur face and says Get the fuck out. and youre like no<3 and she says And stop visiting me at work. and youre like No<3

nat and her cock gag<3 when u dont stop irritating her she tells u to open up baby, spits in ur mouth, shoves it in, and pats ur cheek twice, says ur so much more bearable like this

when ur nice to her she'll let u braid her hair so she'll sit cross legged on the floor while netflix is on and u play w her hair and sometimes you'll yank her head back by the braid for a kiss and she doesn't say anything about it until it comes time for a spank lmao she counted.

she will show up at ur job too, hand u a wrap or a sandwich she bought for like $3 and then talk u into making out in her car or in a storage closet, every time u leave the other hanging -- either ur break is over or she has to go or smth

u send her memes about being a boomer and she says shut up and ur like ok cradle robber. she says u like me w a cane. u tell her ur looking at her respectfully bc u always respect ur elders. she dresses up as steve for Halloween and tells u its because shes dressing her age. and by steve i mean she just wears a tight shirt and flexes all the time. u have no complaints

at the pool she pushes u in and ur like I'm drowning i need mouth to mouth and she obliges because she saves lives u know<3

ok soft gfs sometimes when shes out of the country you'll call her and ur sleepy bc its weird timezones and ur like pls be safe. come back soon. and nats like side eying her coworkers bc they cannot see her emote like this so shes like "um yes i like mac n cheese" and ur like "and thats i love you in repressed russian spy right?" and shes turning around to face a wall and smiling and going "yes it is" and when she comes home u hand her a microwave mac n cheese and she kisses u at the door and u tell her so sweetly that shes washing all the dishes from the past week bc she cannot skimp out on chores and shes like sure ok but i have a lot of laundry for u to do:) don't get stuck again. Or do. i don't mind

inspired by tiktok for ur anniversary u both agree not to buy each other gifts but ur bored one day and make a macaroni frame and u put in a picture of u both and ur like Sike i got a gift for u <3 and shes panic buying shit like brand name clothes, make up, a brand new sex toy, and ur like ......nat i literally just got u this.

shes so unimpressed she says shes going to return everything u don't deserve ANYTHING but she lets u kiss her jaw and her cheek and her lips and u tell her thank u baby and ur like :) ily and shes like ok fine.

mediocre nat is really just a simp ngl

[why-hello-othello]

Okay self indulgent personal post about everything going on in my life rn because I literally have no one irl to talk to about this. Advice is welcome

———————-

Okay so I’m American and my bf is British. We met while I was studying in England and now that I’m on break for the summer I had to go back home so we’re doing long distance for now. I will be back in England at the end of the year though. So anyway my bf is someone who needs a lot of alone time and I really don’t like I’m fine either going out or staying in. Anyway things were going great for us, he’s my first bf and I’m his first gf so we had that special connection. He had a lot of personal stuff going on in his life very early in our relationship and I was by his side through all of it and helped him a lot during that time. Which I considered myself lucky to be able to do because I love him a lot and I want to support him through thick and thin.

Well now that we’re long distance everything has changed. He was alright the first couple of weeks but in the past week or so he’s done a complete 180 to the point where I don’t even recognize him. My bf is someone who is often overlooked by his friends and never treated as a first choice, and he’s told me that I’ve helped him realize his worth. But recently he’s been treating me the exact same way that his friends treated him which always used to be so hurtful to him. I’m going through a very hard time in my life rn, a lot of family issues plus my mental health is so bad i go to bed every night praying I won’t wake up in the morning. And I was looking to him for some support for this and he says he cares but he doesn’t do anything to show it, that’s for sure. So I’m left feeling completely alone plus I am trying to save this relationship and support his needs.

I texted him and told him how I felt and he just leaves me on read the whole day and if I type a paragraph to him he will barely acknowledge anything I said. He says he’s feeling confused and burnt out and I get that but like that’s really not an excuse to treat me the way he has been. I see him up all night talking to his friends on discord but he barely sets aside any time to talk to me. Which clearly he could make more time for me if I was a priority to him. But I’m not.

He says that he doesn’t miss me nearly as much as he thought he would which obviously hurt me a lot. Last weekend he told me not to text him as much because he was exhausted but he said not to worry because he didn’t want to break up. But then like literally a couple days later he said he’s thinking of breaking up with me but he can’t make up his mind. Now from my perspective this would absolutely destroy me because I can’t deal with a devastating breakup when I’m in such a fragile mental state. He says he just doesn’t have the time to focus on being in a relationship when he has a lot of other things in his life, but I’m so confused because literally nothing in his life has changed since I left. And when I was still there he could do everything else and still prioritize me.

Idk I’m just feeling like he used me to cure his loneliness for a while and now that he decided he doesn’t need me anymore he’s just throwing me away like trash. He said if we do break up he still wants to be close to me but I told him that’s not gonna happen from my end. To me it just seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I’ve been putting all my feelings aside to accommodate his needs and even that’s not good enough for him. When we talk it’s clear he’d rather be doing anything else. We called tonight and he just seemed like I was forcing him to do it, you could just tell he didn’t want to be there. Then he literally just said bye and hung up on me out of the blue which was really rude honestly and then he got mad that I was upset by that. Anyway I would never treat him the way he’s been treating me and I want to save this relationship so desperately but idk if it’s even worth fighting anymore or if I should just stop putting in the effort and let the inevitable happen.

[murderslugs]

Getting To Know Them || Slasher x Reader Bf/Gf Scenarios Pt 2

Jason Voorhees

When you woke, you were lying in a dim living room. The windows were boarded with thick, rotting oak planks and the doors were bolted shut. The only light left to illuminate the room was a small lamp on the old, rustic coffee table in front of you. Beneath you was a somewhat scratchy couch, clearly taken off of someone's front line with a paper labeled "free to take" on it, or from some dump. However, you were thankful that it at least wasn't the creaky wooden floor instead. You scratched at the rope around your wrists, loosened from being wriggled around and messed with.

You sat up and allowed your vision to re-adjust, and saw the same man in flannel and ski-mask in an arm-chair on the other side of the coffee table. He didn't seem to notice your awakening, or he at least didn't acknowledge it. He was reading a book with a maroon cover, and you couldn't make out the small copper-shaded title. You studied his movement. He was calm and showed little emotion in his body language, simply reading in peace.

In a split second, you decided to break the peace and silence. "Who are you?" The man put down the book in his lap, but only looked up at you for a moment, silent. You could see him think, then make a few hand gestures. You came to the realization that it was ASL, but you never really learned the language, despite your interest in it. You saw him take a deep breath and get up, grabbing a pen and a notebook off a table to the side. He slid the items onto the coffee table before you and slowly unbound your wrists. You wrote your question out again, "Who are you?" and slid it around for him to see. He read it, and wrote quickly, in slightly messy handwriting, "Jason. any more questions?" and slid the items back.

From here, you two went on for hours, listing out questions on the notebook and answering them for each other. You filled out pages and pages, ranging from basic questions to things like "what was your childhood like?" Certain things like that, he would pause and then write that he didn't want to talk about it. Through the night or day (due to the lack of natural light, it was hard to tell,) this game went on.

Michael Myers

Though you tried your best and struggled and squirmed, the man who had taken you still had gotten you tied to a chair; where you sat with a belt tying your wrists to the wooden beams, thankfully with a cushion underneath your rear. You shut your eyes for a second and groaned, throwing your head back. You always thought of yourself as strong and independent, a fighter who didn't need help from anyone. Alas, this was one ass you couldn't kick, and you hated yourself for it.

Across the kitchen, the bright lights shined on the tiled floor, and a tea kettle whistled ceaselessly. The sound of running water stopped as the man who had taken you walked from the bathroom and into the kitchen. The man dried his hands on his pants and took the kettle off the burner, shutting the flames off. You observed him take two random mugs from the cabinets above, and place them on the white countertop. He carefully poured the tea into the two cups, and a light herbal smell filled the air. After a moment, you recognized the smell of hibiscus tea. This was a familiar smell, something your aunt made every morning when you spent the night at her house in the summers between school years.

The man walked over and brought the two cups with him. A low, slightly muffled, silky voice came from behind the mask as he slid a mug across the table to you. "Careful, it's scolding." The tall, built man walked across and unbuckled one of your arms from the chair for you to pick up the mug with. "Drink." He said, before taking a seat before you. This is when he slid the mask off, to reveal a face beneath that you never would have expected. Dark brown, shaggy, messy, wavy hair fell over his forehead, and he blew it out of his grey eyes. His face was scarred and his lips were chapped, but it somehow wasn't unappealing or revolting.

"What's your name? Who the fuck are you?" You asked, leaning as far as you could with your restraints still intact. The man pushed his hair back and sighed heavily, sipping the near boiling tea. "Michael. 24. Libra." He said in a monotone voice. You rolled your eyes. "This is an introduction to your victim, not The Dating Game." You told him harshly. "Well, is there something specific you wanna know? It's not like your giving me anything to go off of, sugar cube." 'Michael' replied with the same energy in return. "Fine. I'm (Y/N). What else is there to say?"

Carrie White

Like the pale girl suggested, Carrie if you remembered correctly, you came back to the public library next Sunday, around noon. You had finished the book you had most recently checked out, so you had to return it anyways. Walking down the pavement, you saw here in a light sundress, walking up the few steps and into the library. You ran to catch up and followed her, careful not to startle the girl. As soon as you got inside, you carried yourself to just behind her, and tapped on her shoulder.

The girl turned around, and a look of confusion appeared on her features. "(Y/N). We met here last week? I suggested you check out Narnia." You reminded her, an eager smile painted on your face. A spark formed in her eyes, and she returned your smile. "Oh! Yes, yes, I remember. I'm sorry, my mind is awfully clouded lately." You assured her that it was alright, and you two went along.

The two of you walked down the aisles of bookshelves, and she looked for something new to try out. Maybe she would check out a cook-book and try a new recipe, or read up on WW1. Although, you DID notice that she avoided the religious aisle. However, you didn't comment on this, out of respect. You two checked out a few books, and on the paved outdoor steps, you stopped her. "Would you like to go for coffee or tea? Even a pastry? There's a little shop down the street, I'll buy. I'd just like to talk a bit.

Carrie obliged happily, and the two of you took your books and walked down to the small cafe. It had a dim, rustic theme, and brought peace to anyone who entered it's walls. There was a faint vanilla sent in the air, welcoming you two. For about an hour, Carrie sat down with you and talked about your life, your week, basic things. It was nice to get to know her. She seemed kind, and gentle. Everything about her was graceful, from the way she sipped her latte to the way she tucked her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. As you two finished up your chats, you grabbed your things and greeted each other farewell, agreeing to meet again next week.

Jennifer Check

The pair of you had become half-decent lab partners over the last few weeks, but she didn't seem to be doing well with the subject. As a result, you decided that you would volunteer to tutor her in the subject after school. So, there you were, on your way to her house after school to hang out and help her study up on the subject and with the homework. It was a cloudy day, and you could tell that a storm was brewing in those clouds above your head. Because of this, you decided to walk a bit faster to avoid being soaked.

As you arrived at Jennifer's house, you knocked gently on the door. When you received no answer, you hesitantly knocked harder. Very suddenly, a slightly older woman answered the door, assumingly Jennifer's mom. The woman looked you up and down, then quickly turned to yell over her shoulder, "Jenny! Your new friend is here!" She then quickly invited you in and brought you a small tray of white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies, offering you to take one or two ((If you have an allergy to nuts, then M&M cookies.)) "I made these for you two while you were studying. There's also sodas in the fridge in case you need a drink." Jennifer's mom said joyfully, before scooping the strap of a purse onto her shoulder. "I'll be off now, I have a job interview to get to. Jen's room is upstairs, first door on the right. Have fun you two!" She informed you before heading out the door.

You walked up the stairs until you found an oak door, and knocked before coming in. "Uh, hi, it's (Y/N), I'm here to help you study..?" You said as you slowly walked in and shut the door behind you. Jennifer was standing, looking in the mirror and smearing concealer under her eyes. She sighed and looked over to you. "Sit on the bed. You know, I was gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood like a Slurpee, but my mom seems to like you, and I don't think you're too bad. Shame, would have been a great opportunity." She said nonchalantly. As she turned to you, you saw that her face was pale and broken out in acne.

Your heart skipped a beat and the color drained from your face. "I'm sorry, w-what...?" You tried to gulp down the fear in your words. "I'm a succubus, idiot. Don't think that I didn't notice you staring at the blood on my shoes the first day we met. I feed on people's bodies and sexual energy so I can feel good and look good. But I've decided you're worth keeping around, so I'll save that for the next chump. So, shall we get to know each other?" She said calmly as she sat down beside you on the bed.

Billy Loomis

You were home alone yet again, but this time it was mid day. You were watching horror movies out of boredom on your couch, when you got a call. You hesitantly answered, to hear a familiar voice on the other side of the phone. "I'm here, come let me in." You carried the phone with you. You figured one of your friends had stopped by to say hi, and their voice just sounded messed up due to shitty reception. You went to your front door, and looked through the peephole to see someone in a shitty costume, probably from Walmart, as it was October, and stores were starting to sell Halloween costumes and decorations. You hung up the phone and stuck it in your pocket, opening the door slightly with the chain lock still intact.

"Cut it out, prankster. That's not a very creepy costume. Ooo! I'm so scared!! Listen, I've seen the original Japanese film The Ring a million times, I'm not too scared of much." You heard the person sigh and push the door forward aggressively, breaking the lock. You jumped back in shock. "Hey! You're paying for that, asshole!" You yelled only for a quick response. "No, I don't think I will, beautiful. The man said, taking off his mask. To your shock, it was someone that you went to school with, Billy Loomis. You remember him graduating just the year before you, and were a bit shocked at his sudden appearance. You two had talked a bit, and you could consider yourselves acquaintances, but never really close friends.

Billy took a step forward, and in turn, you took one back. He put his hands up, showing he had no weapons in his hands. "Look, I'm not gonna hurt, that's not what I came to do. I just want to...get to know you. Look, you can pat me down, if you really feel the need. I don't have any weapons on me." You lowered your defenses a bit, but still kept them up. "Why would you want to know me so bad?" You asked hesitantly. "Well, I looked through your window and realized I'd found you again. And I wanted to get to know the pretty (girl/boy/person) I used to look at in the hallways every day." He said in a smooth tone. And that's where your night started.

Thomas Hewitt

It was a lovely Texas summer day. A warm breeze carried through the semi-tall grass in the fields, and the smell of fresh bread filled the small wooden house. On this fine afternoon, you happened to be listening to some old music, from the 50s-60s, and baking. When you least expected it, you heard a loud knock on the door. You figured it might have been one of your new neighbors looking to get to know you, or ask to borrow something. You strolled to the door and opened it, to see a rather large man in a butcher's apron, curly dark hair, and a rather scarred face on the other side. Though he had somewhat of a threatening aura, you knew that there was more behind his appearance.

You saw him open his mouth, but then stop and think for a moment. He hesitantly put his hands up and made a few broken and hand signals. You realized quickly that it was sign language, as you had an uncle growing up that happened to be deaf, so you learned it so that you two could talk. "I'm not deaf, I just don't like to speak." You watched him sign apprehensively, and responded allowed. "That's okay, hun. What can I do for you?" You asked, and he thought for a moment. "Do you have some salt I can use? Papa shot a..." He stopped for a moment, then looked back up to meet your eyes. "Papa shot a deer, and we ran out of salt to dry out the hide and season the meat." He asked, and you replied. "Of course! Come right in, I keep a few bags in the cupboard, I have a half-full one you can take home." You told him as you allowed him to come in and shut the door behind him.

Your bread sat warm in the window-sill, cooling down. As you handed him the salt, he pointed over to it. "Oh, do you want a piece?" He nodded aggressively, and you smiled. You grabbed the metal baking sheet and put it on the counter, slicing a few pieces. "Here, you can have more than one. I make it all the time, and it's just me here to eat it anyways." You told him. "Would you like to sit down and chat for a moment? I can make you tea or coffee too if you like? You can tell me about yourself. That is, if you don't have to be home right quick." The man nodded again, and set the salt down on the counter. "My name's Thomas. I'd like some...Peppermint tea, if you have it." The man signed to you, his guard down as he clearly felt welcomed in the household. "Okay, Thomas, right on it." You smiled warmly and handed him a thick slice of warm bread with butter and mulberry jam smeared over the top. "Take a seat, dear."

____________________________________________

~Author's Note~

Hi guys, I'm so sorry it took so long to get this second part out :( I've just been really stressed and not in a great mental place, plus the factor of writer's block and being scared to burn myself out. But thank you for those who have stayed through the hiatus to continue reading!! Please comment below if you have any character or scenario requests. Goodbye for now, loves!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary140

2/1-2/2024

thursday - friday

work was okay i guess.

okay could be an overstatement cuz i'm not happy and stuff but does that even matter, and whatever, i'm scheduled tomorrow and saturday. and then sunday's off. and thennnn, who knows, what if i am on the schedule a bunch. i could be. then my life gets to be a lot of standing around watching children play arcade games and scream and having to stock machines and help people with their prizes. it seems okay but the orientation test things made it seem so freakish and stuff.

but it's at 4 pm that i have to go in, so i'll leave at 3pm, like i did today, and that should be good, and that'll leave me some time to mix, and do other stuff, maybe do vocals and things. i might really try vocals tomorrow, if my gf is out. if she is home i can just start mixing the next thing, or figure that out tonight/start on it. maybe write too, i can write before going to work too, since i seem to be starting in the middle of the day, i hope that keeps up. this place seems to close at 3 am though. i don't want to be put there. i would cry. i could quit. my gf says i can quit if i want but i'd like to save some money. and then buy a bunch of stuff, like clothes, rare japanese sauces, elden ring dlc (lol) and idk. maybe music stuff. thinking about getting an audio interface too.

some kind of new silent hill game came out? this looks...bad. the sh2 remake also looks awful.

this is awful . wow . there's a part of me enjoying, in a twisted way, the ways konami is making silent hill an even more dead thing. all there is, is the game ryukishi is working on, that could be good. everything else is like this total joke though, this total failure to do anything interesting or new, it's like adapting silent hill to a24 horror fan tastes, and silent hill was already smarter than all of that, so it's just this facile corpse puppeting thing.

apparently yamaoka and ito worked on this. i wish they would just do something else. it's like, not even their choice, they keep getting dragged back into it i feel like.

they have like a secretly dead person twist too. it keeps getting worse. wow. it's 1 am now though, maybe i should sleep.

there's a bit in this game about your friend killing themselves and the way they don't say anything before they do it, which is true, which brings up sad memories of my friend dom who killed himself. i almost said i hope he's okay, but there's nothing to hope for, anymore, since he's been dead, for a while too.

funny and unrelated, or maybe only funny because, i dunno, i want it to be, or i just want to say it's funny when it depresses me, but there was like a gun that went off earlier i think. it seemed like that. it echoed.

i guess i just hope no one died.

it's also just bad for my paranoia. i get visions in my head of the absolute worst things happening, i don't like it, i don't really like being afraid and i don't even think it's useful. it makes me want to give up. today i saw water flowing because it was raining, in a huge drainage channel, it was a big and disgusting river, i imagined myself carried down in the current, face down. all the homeless people living in the tunnel came out, and were up on the embankment, in their tents, against the chainlink fence.

one thing that happened at work today was a guy walked in while i was doing the orientation test, and he asked me if i could help him get work, but as he asked he was like:

excuse me sir... or... ma'am?

and i just said it didn't matter. i could not really help him anyways.

i guess tomorrow i start mixing again. the director also listened to the song i sent, he said he was blown away, and that shocked me a little, but i'm really glad.

anyway i need to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!