#but anyway thats my take feel free to ignore me on it lol

[deoidesign]

just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your comic I am so inspired by it and it’s so lovely and I wanna buy the physical books (I’ve never done that before) I just AUGGHHH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO 💙💙💙

do you allow fanart? And is there anything not allowed? I wanna draw adam and steve so bad 😭

Of course it's allowed! Fanart fanfic fan music fan dubs whatever!

I like to think I'm sort of "building a playground" when I make a story, have fun on it! I made it for you!

In my general opinion, it's not my business what my "fandom" does... It's on you and also me to curate our own spaces! If you're inspired by my work in any way, that's the greatest honor I could imagine and I want you to feel fully free to explore that. If someone is being weird, I know where the block button is and they can keep being weird where I don't have to see it haha

Just don't like... sell it... it's messy legally with webtoon and I'm one person making the story and it's my whole income so the few sales I get are kind of huge for me ;_;

[11queensupreme11]

I didn’t finish my au about Percy getting teleported into the hobbit but it posted it anyway 🫥…

Au:

Throughout the entire quest Percy has killed so many Orcs and monsters with ease making Gandalf curious…how does she have a sword?..how is she so good with a weapon if she’s just a teenage girl?…Gandalf becomes suspicious but doesn’t find out she’s a child of the gods until they are surrounded by Azog and his followers..As Thorin was about to be killed bilbo is about to save him but instead Percy saves Thorin first.finally showing some of her power when defends Thorin…since I suck at describing fight scenes I’ll let it to your imagination…when the eagles save all of them Percy used her healing powers to heal Thorin a injuries shocking them more now knowing they had a child of the gods on their side..so they promise to help her find a way home and azog..ooohh azog…he knows now too…and he doesn’t keep quiet about it now everyone in all of middle earth the Mirkwood elves,the elves in Rivendell,dwarves,kings and queens all now hear that the company of Thorin Oakenshield have a god on their side making everyone shocked….and when they finally take Erabor back from Smaug Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat..and because of that Percy goes with bilbo to give the Arkenstone to Thranduil and bard..they were both worried about the company being too powerful with a child of the gods on their side and the fact they don’t even know what the child of the gods look like so when bilbo arrives with Percy they don’t recognize her..so when they find out she is the child of the gods they try to convince Percy to join them and help them take down Thorin..she wants to deny and she only wants to go home..but they disagree Thranduil..Because he finally had someone powerful enough to steal back his wife’s gems..(and maybe because Percy reminds him of his wife very much) and Bard because Percy can help and protect the people of lake town..(also because he sees her as his child)..Gandalf wants her because she can help stop the war and she can help protect the company..during the beginning of the five armies the company demand Percy comes back while the Thranduil and bard demands she comes on their side..then Thorins cousin arrives and some hen he sees Percy he demands Percy is on their side…they all want Percy on their side so they all fight over it..then when azog comes he wants Percy so he can have more power(obviously) and joins the fight…and I’m getting very tired so Im sorry if I was very lazy with the ending..when Thorin comes to his senses and the army of elves,men, and dwarves reluctantly join together Percy finally joins the fight and uses a lot of her power taking down a lot of orcs…and she saves fili and Kili in the process..after the war they still fight over her but surprise surprise the summoning had a limited amount of time so while they fight over her she is sent away pissing them off as they try to summon her back..it never works again until…she is summoned again by the fellowship in the LOTR….thats all I got tell me if this idea is crap or not cause I think it would be a good story…especially if you wrote it..feel free to ignore this I just had an idea…

THERE'S MORE 🥳

"Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat"

i got mixed results on thorin's height (saying he's 5'2" or between 4'5"-4'8") but he's a shortie regardless so i'm just imagining percy easily kicking him over LMAO

and thranduil.... 🤤

that name just awakened something in me.... 🤤 🤤 🤤

im pretty sure i had a huge ass crush on him when i was a kid (i'm probably gonna start looking at thranduil fics cuz of you lol)

[elfdyke]

(feel free to not reply/ignore if this is like too heavy lmao) I love mouthwashing but it hits some triggers for me so I have to be really careful about when I engage with it and it feels weird to say this but the only comfort in the story for me is that Anya kills herself at the end and I think it’s cuz. I had my own pregnancy scare after SA a few years ago and like not knowing if it was gonna be legal or possible for me to Abort That Thang(TM) I pretty much took on the mindset of well. Lol. I’ll kill both of us before anyone makes me carry this stupid fucking thing. Just watch me. I absolutely refuse I will take both of us out !!!!!! And I know it’s dark and messy and gross but some part of me aches in sympathy for Anya taking her own control back in that one final act like girl I get it. I get it. anyway sorry for random anon dumping have a good one

i totally get that💖 i think not a lot of people get that sometimes it can be really comforting to see yourself in characters even in situations like these. i really adore how anya's story is handled in mouthwashing and i think thats genuinely really great you feel such a deep connection with her, esp on something im sure you dont really get to feel very seen about often. 💖 MWAH im glad you were able to get through that and that youre still here ^_^💖💖

[rzyraffek]

Hi hi!! I’m here to request something with my bbg Vincent Sinclair! your thingy doesn’t exactly specify which slashers, so I think I’ll ask for Vincent and Michael Myers just so u have an idea u can write abt if you don’t know the other!!

Okay okay, so what about a reader with a bad attitude? So for Vince, I would assume that their relationship starts with the reader defending Vincent from Bo. Like, Bo just starts calling Vincent names (like the mean truck man he is >:[) and Vincent is just taking it, then the reader steps between the two twins and just starts BURNING Bo with every insult they have.

“Oh, he’s the freak? Well at least he knows how to keep his mouth shut and isn’t asking everyone with a *female anatomy* to *adult fun* every ten seconds.” or something vicious like that-

and Vincent is just dumbfounded that someone has the balls to speak up against Bo.

and for Michael, same thing, but the reader is just being so mean when he starts chasing them! Like, they try to hide behind a door and they make sure that Michael saw them, so when he opens the door, the reader just flips him off and kicks him away from the door really harshly-

or, just being really really hard to catch. Like if they climb somewhere high and he can’t get to them, the reader just sticks their tongue out and flips him off again with the snarkiest attitude!!

anyways, that’s all I gots for now! Feel free to ignore this lol, but if you don’t directly respond to this ask but do use the idea, I ask that u credit me!

u look lovely today, and I hope u have an amazing night/evening/morning/day!

<3

First of all, for some reason I got no notification that somone requested anything and I have no clue how long it was sitting in my inbox. Second of all thats great idea cuz in most of fics reader is always very meow meow shy uwu bebi, which is sometimes annoying tbh, they should be rude sometimes. Requests open

Slashers with badass s/o

Vincen Sinclair

Bros used to this kind of treatment, name calling, mean words, yelling ect

This relationship started by s/o just simply asking Vincent if he's alright after Bo yelled at him

Any kind of affection makes him blush like teenager girl after watching twilight for first time

In his free time he will just hold s/o hand and walk behind them like lost puppy

Imagine: "yo vinc get over here you lazy ass" vincent:😰🏃 "well BO maybe if you stopped acting like such drama queen and get rid of this nasty ass attitude then MAYBE people will start helping you without fear of losing a limb or sanity?" 🧍🧍‍♂️

Tbh the only reason that Bo didn't commit murder on s/o is that vincent is actually very happy now and even that Bo is a horrible human being he doenst want his bro completely emo

Lack of ideas so im just going to put some mean words to Bo here

"Dont worry vincent, hes just jealous cuz he cant hold conversation with women for more than 4seconds without scaring them to death. litteraly"

"Aw baby dont be sad, just compare your hair routine with his. Im surprised hes not bald to be honest"

Live laugh love Vincent

"Nonono dont be upset, how about we draw together huh? Can you go pass me crayons from your workplace😇i totaly wont whoop your brother while you are away"

If s/o is just rude to Bo face, Vincent will be so so happy that they protect him but so so worried that s/o is about to evaporate due to Bo anger issues

"You calling him a freak? Better look who has stable relationship and lack of anger issues L bozo"

Also now Vince is 24/7 with her bcs not only shes great, protects him and provides comfort🥰

Micheal Myers

"AHAHAH looozer can't climb the ladder? Yo old as hell man go to retirement home"

S/o calling him granma to bully him

"Yo man stop begin such stalker or im going go call yo sister (in some versions laurie is his sister if u dont agree just ignore this part lol) and she gonna beat you up

Micheal spawning behind her, inside her house:🧍 "😨 yo sup Myers wacha got there? A a knife? Eee cool cool"🏃

"If you have such blood-lust go kill rats in my basement they keep stealing my food"

🧍 Myers emoji

Im sorry if its unfunny or boring I watched house of wax when it came out so like long time ago and I kinda forgor vincent and bo personalities. And Myers personality is basicly 🧑‍🦯old man

[wrens-versus-the-world]

Intertwined With the Inhuman

Hehe :D Heres the first chapter!

Cross posted on wattpad under Dontjudgemepels

chapter one: and so it begins

(next chapter: 2)

as I looked at the letter for the fifth time today, I still couldn't believe it.

I, Y/n L/n, got a free ticket to japan and a free ticket back as well. I am so happy that I kept entering into those raffles!

I packed up my bags and prepared every thing that I may need while in japan. Another thing that I'm happy about is that, since I kept entering into the raffles I have quite a lot of yen, as well as a free hotel room and some free- non- expiring tickets to various events, which makes my life as a college student extremely easy, and my summer all the more fun!

I texted my group chat:

three best friends in a room:

depression (jerry), Cat lover(you), and smart one (cherry (cher for short))

Cat lover:

I'm so excited, but I'm also sad, since I won't see y'all and I cant afford to pay for the out of county wifi. D:

Smart one:

Well, that part sucks but japan is a safe country, and plus It'll be a good way to relax after the school year. those finals were rough

Depression:

thats for sure, those finals fucked me up, I didn't sleep for four days to study and then right after them I slept for two and a half days straight!

Smart one:

...

Jerry that's not safe.

anyways...

Y/n take lots of pictures, get us souvenirs and have fun! that's the best thing you can do okay! And if you ever feel unsafe just call the cops on a public phone, okay?

Cat lover:

see this is why you're my smart friend, And I'll try to keep that in mind... Anyways, I have a flight early in the morning, love y'all I'll try to take lots of pictures and get you gifts and food lol! ttyl

depression:

...

I thought i was your smart friend too...

Cat lover:

You are!!

depression:

yea sure, anyway, have fun loser, we'll miss you

smart one:

...

cat lover:

...

depression:

?

cat lover:

awww you'll miss me :D

*depression has logged off*

cat lover:

pft...

Smart one:

ignore him, he's right tho, we will indeed miss you! so you'd better have enough fun for all of us! love you, and get to bed

*Smart one has logged off*

I turned my phone off smiling to myself, my friends are so great!

Time skip: the next day (3: 30am)

I ran around the house making sure I had everything, seeing that I did, I called my uber and let them know to pick me up.

I walked out the door, and brought my suitcases out with me, and sat at the curb to wait.

while I waited I decided to play some honkai star rail, since I wouldn't be able to play it in japan (no wifi and all)...

the sound of a car pulling up brought be back to reality, and a girl with rich dark skip stepped out, "are you, Y/n, the cat lover?" she asked.

"yes, are you Trina...?" I asked unsure.

"yes! yes I am, okay hop in, let me help you with your bags." she beamed.

the ride to the airport was nice, the time flew by as I talked with trina, she was a really nice person. As we talked I found out that she also played star rail and we bonded over that, at the end of the ride we made sure to exchange ids (in game).

I made my way into the airport after saying goodbye to trina.

After checking in, checking my bags, and going through security I went to sit at my gate (for the flight).

Time skip: In japan

the voice of the flight attendant woke me up:

"Welcome to japan, and thanks for flying with our airlines!"

and she said that i looked out the window, to see the airport in japan, it was quite something (especially knowing i went across the globe to come here).

"we will now begin un-boarding."

Time skip: at the hotel:

the hotel was beautiful, the pictures did it no justice. The hotel was supposed to be a more modern twist on a traditional japanese design.

There was a closet, a bathroom and plenty of other things in the suite.

I unpacked some into the room, putting my clothes into the closet, my toiletries into the bathroom, and organizing everything else.

after I was settled in and had showered I looked at my To-Do list

1- go to a shrine

'seems simple enough' I thought to myself as I changed into a modest outfit, and grabbed the map, smoothly making my way out the door.

Saying goodbye to the staff as I left and letting them know that I'd be out. (Y/n speaking no japanese the staff thankfully speak english too)

the staff were even nice enough to point me in the direction of the shrine that I wanted to go to.

thanking them, I ran out the door, eager to get there! I made my way down the roads following their directions.

after a while, I found myself lost.

"that's okay I have my phone, Gps is good for this." I said to myself as I pulled my phone out.

"no wifi"

"...l-I forgot about that." I said as I read the error message that showed up as I tried to use the gps app.

as I was cursing my luck a blue haired male bumped into me causing me to drop my phone.

"Sorry miss, here let me get it for you" he said as he bent down and grabbed my phone. handing it to me when he stood back up.

"oh don't worry about it, thanks." I responded

'he's so nice'

I looked up at him to meet his eyes only to be met with a mask covering them.

"say, sir, I'm lost do you mind giving me directions to the shrine." I asked, inwardly hoping that I wasn't bothering him.

"Why of course." he said as he continued to give me the directions

"Thank you so much" I said as he finished, " I really owe you one-"

I was about to offer to buy him coffee but I was interrupted by the shout of a mad in a black coat and glasses, with black hair.

"Dottore! we're going to be late." he shouted

'oh'

"I'll let you get going, sorry to take up so much of your time, thanks again." I said to him as I made my way to the shrine, finding it much easier now that i had clearer directions.

Time skip: at the shrine

I got a fortune slip, and some pictures for my friends. and on the way to the shrine I happened to see a traditional dango stand... so I had to get some

it was very good, Jerry would be very jealous.

The sun started to set, so I finished up my time at the shrine, concluding it by ringing the bell three times and praying.

time skip: at the hotel

It was so fun, as I came back into the suite room I set down my shoes and got ready for a shower, where I washed up for bed.

after the shower I put some of the things I got for my friends into my empty suitcase, before getting into the bed.

Sighing contently, I turned to the lamp next to me and turned it off. trying to get comfortable in the bed (you're wearing a robe to sleep in btw).

as I let my eyes wonder I was met with some lifeless blue eyes.

a small 'ah' left my lips as I shot up from the covers.

the eyes just stayed there, neither of use made an attempt to move.

"wh- what do you want?" I questioned quietly, almost a whisper.

as I said that the man began to move towards me , soon the bed dipped as he crawled towards me. we were face to face, I began to lean away from him, my body leaning into the mattress as his towered over me and leaned in closer.

if we had been lovers the position would have been romantic, but I had never seen this man.

I soon had no where to lean now and he was awfully close to my face. I turned my head away from him, which in turn gave him access to my neck, to which he buried his nose into, and he seemed to be swelling me.

"you smell so good" the ginger haired male said in a deep voice as he attempted to bury his head further into my next, where my neck met my collar bone.

when i suddenly felt something wet on my neck i reflexively pushed him, causing our eyes to meet once more.

"you're quite the interesting human, I wonder." he said as I shook slightly

"who-"

"why do you smell like dottore?" the ginger growled

at the name of the man I'd seen earlier I relaxed some, although i'm not sure why.

"huh, are you perhaps in some sort of relationship with that man?" he asked his voice laced with venom as he mentioned him. "Your body relaxed when I said his name."

I wanted to reply, I just couldn't find my voice.

'who was this man?'

"childe I do suggest you don't go marking that which isn't yours." a deep voice interrupted.

the two of us turned our attention to a grey older man, who was illuminated by the moon light.

the man's above me, childe, obliged and got off of me, which allowed me to sit up and scoot away.

looking at the grey older man once more, I noticed that he had some sort of mask covering half of his face. and I also noticed his eye and how it seemed to glow.

I gazed back to childe and noticed how he looked like dog following its master's rules.

"I do apologize about his behavior, it is almost the full moon and he must not have been able to control himself." the older man said.

I opened my mouth to speak, but ultimately didnt know how to respond, " Uh, I suppose it should be okay... as long as it doesn't happen again..." I said, unsure the entire time.

suddenly I saw a flash of blue and heard a thud.

childe was on the ground four feet from the bed, i suddenly felt two arms wrapping themselves around me, I looked around and I couldn't tell who's arms they were.

childe was on the ground and the older man's was still standing.

the person behind me began to lean down to where my neck met my collar bone.

"it's okay, it's just me" Dottores voice whispered against my skin and he loosened his grip on my waist, allowing me to turn around to see him.

In my fear ridden state I clung to him, my arms wrapped around his neck, and in turn his arms tightened around my waist.

"I'm sorry" I whispered to him, so quietly, that he almost didn't catch it.

he rubbed his hand on the small of my back and glared at childe, and said, "I don't know why you're apologizing, but if anyone should apologize it should be me."

His sudden confession caused me to look up at him, only for him to lean down into my exposed neck (the robe was now slightly disheveled now thanks to childe) and bit down, causing me to gasp in surprise.

a deep sense of sleep soon took over me, as I began to hear dottore gulp , and my vision faded in and out, before faded to black. 

A/n:

>:D 

How is everyone liking it so far? 

also, im glad people here (tumblr) are enjoying this far more than the people on wattpad (which is a little surprising to me, but anyways.)

[whole-circus]

やあやあやあ！！！元気ですか？

良かったら何かリクエストしたかったのでとにかく--!

could I request any of the creepypastas with a ftm reader who’s basically like urumi akamaki from alice in borderland please? this can be seen as platonic or romantic btw :)

ありがとうござ��ました！

素晴らし��一日をお過ごしください!

Nina the Killer and Eyeless Jack with ftm Urumi Akamari like reader!

➥ Hi hello!! Im actually pretty fine, comparing to other days lolol. Hope you are fine too!! Ohh i remeber my huge AiB phase lol. Anyways here you go dove!!! If you wanna someone specific too then feel free to inform me, I will always gladly update!! :) Ah im so so so sorry that you waited so long :((

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Nina the Killer

You and Nina are definitely pretty similar in some aspects - even if its hard to believe! Nina tend to be pretty..well pretty crazy and insane, so its not like you will be freaked out by her..! From the killing part to some stupid ideas (for real, every adult who would see what she wanna do would  clutched one's head in disbelief). Sooo, I guess she would need someone like you! With your tendency to be total control freak, you can easly make most of decision for her and Nina would even thank you! Also she isnt scared to take any risk, as i said earlier - Nina is a bit of adrenaline junkie!! Your a bit distant and mysterious mask would be the perfect balance to Nina, who is really out-going and a huge chatterbox!! And your fake persona will perfectly match hers!

When it comes to you being trans, she is such a huge sweetheart i swear!! Well, by accepting and not treating you any diffrent she isnt doing anything super special - its just the bare minimum! But Nina is always ready to soothe you if you feelin dysphoric - she tries talk to you and she never ignore your feeling, all you say and do is valid! Be ready for lots of complements - she means every single one of them! You are the coolest boy she had ever met, how could she not like you??

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack just loves smart people!! Is all into brain > body thing, so you are perfect! He is an intelectual person (demon, im sick), and appreciates these things in people. With you, being all two-sided and often using manipulation in order to get what you want - man, you are just his type of person i swear!! He enjoyes psychological games, and will gladly team with you against someone..you guys will be partner in crimes 100%! Enjoys that you are such a mysterious person, and no one can see through your sweet and cute persona, you have so much power! Would like to see what you are really like, he can guess that there is so much more in you. Yet, i think that Jacks personality makes him easy to get along with, and you kinda seem similar in some aspects. Jack also isnt scared to take a risk, becasue well..its not like he has anything to lose. But he got the right spirit!

Jack absolutey wouldnt mind if you are trans or not - you are still this handsome boy he liked and nothing will change that! He literally would eat kidneys from people that were trasnphobic (thats all what they good at i guess). He is the first one to be always by your side and reassure you how many times you need it if you feel dysphoric. Would also try to help you the best he can, trying to find you some healthy ways in order to make you feel at least slightly better. Jack is also patient, and wont be mad if you yell at him or be mean during your bad days - he gets how hard it can be for you, and wants to be your safe place!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[biohazard2017]

feel free to ignore but I'm actually interested in the transfem naoto headcanon if you wanna share your thoughts on it. it sounds like it would make the storyline a lot more sweet if Naoto struggled with wanting to be a girl but scared of the consequences and being immediately accepted by their new friends like Rise. In a transfem way rather than a strangely terfy way. lol

hi this is very sweet thank you anon. sorry you have unleashed the beast

transfem naoto really speaks to me specifically bc to me, it manages to ACTUALLY tie together the intended theme of her storyline with the trans coding. like, no hate to transmasc naoto enjoyers, but ive alw felt ppl were way too quick to 1. ignore the actual story (bc i do think its genuinely compelling!!! just tied down by the baggage of how they coded it. will elaborate later on!) 2. assume naoto would ""prefer"" to be a guy instead of a girl despite canon evidence to the contrary (though ofc as a hc, canon isnt really the priority) and 3. Genuinely. people wanting her and kanji to get together while kanji is gay (which is a WHOLE other can of worms, bc i may be the only person alive who enjoys kanjis storyline and wouldnt change it at ALL on his end like im of the camp that kanjis sexuality was not the point, its all about masculinity and taking all of that to just say kanjis gay does detract from the whole point of the story. though i digress).

naotos canon storyline is all about how she feels that as a girl, and later on as she accepts the crux of it (how the story portrays it) as a teenager, she would never get recognition for her work, so she chooses to present as a guy to work past the misogyny of her field and ignore the reality that she really is still a child and thats ok. she starts to become more comfortable presenting as a girl publicly obviously as it progresses through to the epilogue - and this is explained by how she "realises" that atp in her career, its not even her gender that will restrict her, its her age, so she doesnt feel the need to hide a separate part of herself just for something she'll eventually outgrow.

and i like this! i think its pretty nuanced in how people will blame one part of themselves for something else they cant control, and watching naoto become more confident in her femininity is a very sweet parallel to kanji growing into masculinity on his own terms, since the 2 are supposed to be foils anyway

like i said, having naoto be transmasc, on some level to me, feels like a step back. shes clearly immersed herself in being the Ideal Guy Detective, bc she thinks its the only way she'll be recognised for her efforts. so just by comparing the narrative of

> "naoto being ftm, so the idea of hiding himself and not accepting who he is is only really relevant to the age part, thus removing the impact of his gender on the story since he publicly transitioned at a young enough age no one even knew he was afab" vs

> "naoto being mtf, feeling afraid / hesitant to transition for fear of the backlash of being a transfem detective, compounded with her young age already affecting how she's perceived, and then accepting with the support of her friends who she is and making that step" like. im sorry but!! which is more compelling!!! (also please lmk if im not being very fair to the transmasc naoto hc, bc this is just how i see it and i may be missing something that makes it a little bit more compelling)

and yes, like you mentioned, in general i think it really supports her interactions in the group! the story feels much better thinking of it as everyone immediately affirming her femininity and helping her bridge the confidence gap. honestly it also helps that this way means the story doesnt constantly misgender her after her dungeon, as opposed to a different gender hc HAHA

so yes this is my thesis on transfem naoto ❤️ love and light ❤️

[1loer]

Hi there! How are you?

I just read your fic "Torn" and HOLY SHIT I LOVED it soo much (I fucking love komahina angst can you tell). You're a great writer I ADORE all your works♡♡ I'm your biggest fan haha

Anyway I know that it's been months since you wrote that fic but I can't help but be curious about the aftermath of it, I mean I'm just curious about what happens next lol. I have my own guesses but I want to hear it from you

Feel free to ignore this ask this was probably stupid of me to ask anyway lmao (and also sorry if there is a mistake in the text my English is terrible. it isn't my first language)

Have a good day/night!!!

Oooooohhhhhhh (╥﹏╥) *grips chest* im so emo over this ask...thank you so much!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

im also a deep lover of komahina angst. Unrequited pining between those two is just *grips fist and shakes it*. im. so happy. u liked it so much. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA *SOBS*

I have sort of ponderd on where things could go from there. Not to the point of writing it (and I don't know if I ever will (very sorry) (pls forgive me)) but . it wouldn't be good!!

Afterwards I neither of them would address it. Hinata would leave before Komaeda woke up, and nothing would change...

Until the next time that Hinata reaches breaking point, anyway.

Both of them would continue completely repressing their feelings and would continue to use each other. Hinata went to Komaeda for connection and comfort he felt too embarrassed to ask for because he felt unworthy of it. He knows how Komaeda feels, but doesn't understand it as well as he very confidently thinks he does. He thinks Komaeda only likes him for the same reason he thinks everyone else likes him: his fake talent. He uses this to his advantage and believes he's giving Komaeda something he needs too and continues to tell himself this when he feels bad about it (asshole). Also, its the only way Komaeda will let him do anything for him. Hinata is desperate to be useful to Komaeda in some way, so even though the situation isn't even something he wants, he continues to engage in it because he thinks Komaeda needs it.

Komaeda (in this story) is so disgustingly in love with him that he'd let him if it means he can be close to him. He's so touch-starved and lonely that even though he knows its not real and how he wants it he'll accept it because he thinks it's all he'll get. It makes him feel like shit and he uses it as self harm, and continues engaging for this reason because he knows it'd fuck Hinata up that he felt that way about it (spiteful) but also because he still wants to be in Hinata's life in some way, but he can't let it be any way thats good because he'd continue to refuse to address the growing resentement he has for him and also he thinks he literally can't have anything good, especially something like that, because it'd just come back to bite him in the ass, so it's this or nothing. He'll take this

Considering all Hinata wanted in the first place was the emotional closeness, I do have one scene that I keep coming back to in my head. One night with Hinata coming over and Komaeda is expecting the same as usual and pretending he isn't dreading it. Hinata gains enough courage this night to ask for what he really wants, which is just to be held. Komaeda is compeltely thrown off. He'd agree, and it'd be the most content either of them had felt in a while. Somehow, even after everything, it'd feel like the most intimate thing they'd ever done with each other.

Komaeda would break, right down the centre. His resentment would reach its peak and he'd start a massive argument with Hinata. All would be revealed- that he hates him for waking him up and using him like this. Hinata would admit he didn't even want any of this and was just going along for Komaeda's sake. Everything would be broken, and they'd have to pick it up all over again from nothing, but away from each other.

It was really really inspired by the title song Torn, wherein in that fic, Komaeda had a fairytale fantasy in his head of Hinata, and the events were the thing that ripped that fantasy away and showed him a reality where Hinata is a flawed awful and hurt human just like he is. The boy from the simulation is gone, for better or for worse, and Komaeda has to live with that </3 This theme would continue on for both of them in the aftermath.

I think tho, at the same time, this breaking point would be the exact thing they'd both need to kick start Komaeda into a place where he's actually getting better and healing. Hajime may take a little longer. But with the help of their friends, they'll get there <3 yaaaaaaaaay and maybe they can improve their relationship too and start again. Or not. I dont know I didn't decide thats not the fun part so i dont care you can decide which ever one sparks the most joy for u and bc ur so lovely i'll deem it canon *bangs gaval*

it means so much that u sent me this fr :') comments i get on that fic make me feel extra special bc it honestly feels so pointless and im a bit embarrassed and self-concious about it in a lot of ways _(:°з」∠)_ honestly its like a bi-monthly fight for me not to absolutely decimate my ao3 page and comments like these are the only thing that keep me from doing it.

i hope u have a lovely day, night, week, and new year!!!!!!!!!

[safety-pin-punk]

hello! i saw someone point out that the blackout (the indefinite version, anyway) would isolate a lot of disabled ppl during disability pride month & what would hurt tumblr most is actually not buying any of their stuff, not blazing posts not buying ad-free stuff like that, instead of a blackout. so uhh heads up i guess lol

Hi! Thank you for pointing this out, I’ve seen a few posts like this and I just haven’t gotten around to addressing these things on my own blog, though I guess nows the time lol

1. I do not plan on doing an indefinite blackout. Only the 48 hour one. This has actually aligned with me wanting to take a break from tumblr a bit anyways, and at least this way I’m kinda supporting a cause (even if it may be in vain). Its kinda funny, I think this is the same weekend I did my own ‘blackout’ type thing last year when I took a trip to Gettysburg. So yeah, I do not plan on doing a blackout indefinitely, because a) I do like tumblr and the people I know on tumblr and b) that would be a very shitty thing to do basically just during disability pride month. I do like how poetic it is though that the 48 hour blackout is at the end of queer pride and beginning of disability pride though, it feels like we are standing in solidarity as the torch is passed, ya know?

2. I disagree with not buying their stuff hurting them more. Think about it, this site is already unprofitable from people NOT buying those things. Most people dont pay to use this website to begin with, so ‘boycotting’ it wouldnt do that much. However, they do make money off the ads, if you click the ads, the more ads you see the higher the chance you click and engage them and the more revenue they make (especially with how broken mobile is and it gets wonky when you try to scroll past and sometimes you accidentally click them). If we do blackout for 48 hours, thats 48 hours they cant make money off of us seeing ads or engaging with ads, and I think that would hurt them more than just boycotting buying stuff that most people ignore anyway. Alternatively (or rather in conjunction with the blackout) I also think we should be leaving 1 star reviews on the app stores

[pixiecaps]

hope you don't mind me writing paragraphs about my thoughts on purgatory in your ask box, if you do mind then thats so fair, feel free to ignore lol

yeah purgatory story wise just kinda sucks from a player's standpoint. like really sucks. taking away the last bit of agency they had (doing whatever they could to save their kids, only for them to end up not even saving them and therefore everything they did the past two months being for nothing) just kinda feel frustrating. from a overall story and general writer's perspective it's cool and ties into themes about having no power, but like... idk is it worth sacrificing your players' enjoyment for that? from a meta standpoint the point of the roleplay is to encourage player engagement so like what was the fucking point

HOWEVER i do have a tin foil hat theory that cucurucho saving the eggs and bringing new ones was a last minute damage control situation after seeing all the purgatory frustration and the team going "guys i think we might have fucked up. how do we salvage this" like its still so so very sloppy but... the damage control also worked so ggs lol.

also i guess we as an audience have no idea what goes on behind the scenes? because admins might be studying for finals for all we know. the writers could be amateurs where qsmp on their first major project. the team could be too excited to properly think through or shut down subpar ideas. maybe q was like "lets make a hardcore tourney" and the team had to figure out how the fuck to fit a hardcore tourney in. who fucking knows

anyways sorry about the purgatory rant i think it just frustrates me because we all know the team is capable of executing lore well. purgatory and its aftermath is just Not that

yeah i fully trust the admins and writers. as we know they have everything planned months in advance and they put love and care into the story. so i trust them. i choose to believe it was just such a new dynamic with purgatory that they may have not realized how difficult it would be to incorporate the lore and story in a satisfying way and thats okay it happens. it just sucks that it all came to such an unsatisfying conclusion. the arc left a lot to be desired. but theres still a lot left from this arc that we haven’t seen yet that could change my opinion. i still wonder where the hell the feds put luffy ya know😭

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

because i basically also use tumblr as a diary we're going to do some SMALL real life posting below the cut feel free to ignore it i'm just talking lol

I have a friend IRL who also writes fic, though she's relatively new to publishing, but I mentioned my Fandom Trumps Hate stuff to her because she has the background to get it and I was excited. When the winning bid changed, she asked how many words that was and I said "127k" and she was like, "that's more than I wrote last year." Which is fine and fair, she's an english teacher she has a job that requires thought and not just mindless stress

but in my head this was a "oh we're sharing how much we wrote last year situation," which looking back I think I misread In the future I'm going to take a "you still wrote something" approach, but I said I wrote like 250k last year, because I did the math and i did. but her first, IM CERTAIN instictive reaction was the this look and i don't know how to describe it but it was WILD and not envy but gave the impression of "i wish you hadn't said that" and maybe a tinge of "im not sure how i feel about that" and in my head I was like

hey like i get that i dropped out of college and you were an english major but a few years after I dropped out I was working at a diner and spent a whole year basically training myself like a dog to write whenever

and now im breaking my process down into pieces so small that no matter how fogged my brain is I can work and like

i worked really hard to be able to write this much you cannot just expect that from yourself without work?? like i found the methods that are effective for me because I took the time to try out DOZENS OF METHODS and I failed at a lot of them but now ive got one and its why after a decade of not finishing long things all i can do is finish things

but i can't say that to a person so we just moved on but like

writing isnt a calling its an active choice you make??? for some people its a hobby and that's fine but my intent is to move into traditional publishing, so i treat fan fiction like a job because at some point i INTEND FOR WRITING TO BE MY JOB so i have to take it seriously now so i dont burn out?? so i don't get advances and then find myself incapable of meeting deadlines?? like

anyway this was my warm up in a weird way but thats a small bit of real life posting behind every authors word count is the time they practiced to get to it i wrote like 100,000 shitty words last year that never saw the light of day and 250,000 that did and that's just how writing is??

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA, taking notes as always:)-

Sorry in advance this is so fucking long. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to send this all in one ask but we will see lol. This is actually more than I write for some essays. Like you’re going to have to click expand and be like holy shit. Anyway feel free to ignore my rambling shitty literary analysis at the end lolololol.

At least she can recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to being horny for Ben lmfao

(side note but I love that you write characters with believable flaws that make them more endearing and not less. And that they try to be better but they’re not perfect; that’s so real and I think that it’s a really hard line to walk and most people can’t/don’t. Anyway it’s being in awe of dreams writing hours again, which is all day every day)

The asking an annoying question and then immediately getting mad at herself internally- that’s such a mood lmfao

SHE SAID THAT THEYRE GOING TO STILL BE TOGETHER IN THE AFTERLIFE AODKNSNFBF I know it was a joke but also OMG CLOVER could you be any more obvious/oblivious!???!??!!

Also her complimenting him so heavily and it not being because she wants to kiss his ass but being genuine, and her not thinking that that says anything about her and her character wowkkfnfjrhthhf

Wait if he goes to Italy for the art academy, will she go with him? What about teddy??? I mean hopefully they’re over their codependent-ness by then, esp. since he has Josie and is learning to live with their aunt and uncle and everything, but still!!! Maybe Colin will take him to visit them…. All assuming he does go to the academy Ofc

Okay but does Josie know flowers and/or was she just fucking with clover? Anyway that’s also so relatable cuz I can’t draw for shit either lol

OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS BREAK HER WRIST?!????!!!??!!!?!!!?!! THATS SO FUCKED UP!!!!!!!! (I mean I know we know that they were bad, but still getting the details makes me want to strangle them. I’m so nervous for when they come to town because I will want to strangle them every single moment of it lol; I already do!)

SHES TOO HORNY TO FOCUS!!!!! Lmfaoooo love that for her

He’s so cute telling her that she’s great at art even though he helped her!! He’s so sweet and I love that he wasn’t willing to let her think badly of herself for one second before doing everything in his power to prove him wrong

THE SEXUAL TENSION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! (And them too by the looks of it Lmfao)

LMFAO I vaguely remember us talking about Percy buying Anthony and Cherie’s kids ponies in a headcanon for enamored. I love that that trend is popping up again haha

THERES ONLY ONE BED TROPE MY BELOVED (or in this case: there’s actually two beds but they’re CHOOSING to share a bed, which is arguably even better) cuddling/sharing a bed to keep the nightmares away my beloved

Also they’re going from her locking the door on him to sharing a bed AHHHHH I’m so excited for them!!!!

PILLOW WALL MY BELOVED (okay I need to stop calling every single trope my beloved. It’s true but I don’t need to say it. I need a new word lmfao)

Am I sensing some foreshadowing where her heart is going to break and she feels like she’s dying, similar to what happened to cherie??? I hope not, she’s been through enough angst already. Though it would probably be something like he goes to a party to paint and she assumes the worst- the whole acting like she’s being retraumatized all over again even when she’s not.

“When are you free” “whenever you want me too” AIFJNFNDJFNFNDNFB it’s like he’s saying that he’s always free to do things for her and hang out with her and do whatever she needs.

This fic is killing me with the one million ways to say I love you without saying it and I fucking love it so much!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the words of affirmation and the acts of service and gifts and time spent together and listening and every single little thing they do for one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH I love them SO much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They way that he gives her complete control and isn’t condescending about it but genuinely wants her input and for her to decide what’s best. For her to choose what will make her comfortable and not force her to do anything. It’s the way that he suggests things as being optional where she can turn it down or choose how it’s done, and let’s her make her own choices and take control of what happens to her. I don’t know if I’m articulating myself properly but it just gets me so fucking soft and I love it SO much.

It’s the way that he never wants to do something that so much as even makes her uncomfortable, and the way that he does everything in his power to take care of and nurture her. I swear to god I know I’m rambling but I can’t help it; I’m just so in love with them and this story.

I also love that he’s close with his mom, which is such a minor detail that we knew about all the bridgerton siblings, but still- it’s so cute!!

“As my lady wishes” DREAM ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE CONGRATS ITS WORKING

At least she realizes how fucking domestic they sound- does he?

I love the contrast of this story with enamored. Cherie and Anthony were a huge roller coaster of emotions, not because of anything in particular but because cherie just happens to be a very dramatic person. It’s not that the highs and lows were fabricated, but more so that they were very abrupt and very dramatic.

On the other hand we have Ben and clover, who are not very dramatic at all. The tension comes from them not being dramatic actually- the pining, the slow-burn- whereas there wasn’t as much of a slow-burn in enamored- Anthony and cherie both gave in rather quickly and let themselves be swept away in it, whereas clover is very much hanging on and resisting.

This does say a lot about clover too though because I don’t think that she could handle the dramatic ups and downs of cherie and Anthony��s relationship, nor would she want to. Cherie had a single trauma that affected her entire life, but she still had a mother that loved and took care of her and raised her in a relatively normal manner. Clover on the other hand had a prolonged series of abuse with no reprieve, no safe space, and no safe adult.

The differences in their trauma literally shape who they become- cherie decides to believe in love against all logic because she thinks that love will prevent her from being traumatized again and because she had a parent who loved her, so she knows that that love exists, and clover decides to believe against trust and love at all costs because she can’t afford to be hurt again. She doesn’t see the world as being worth loving or trusting because she’s never received that sort of love; she’s only given it, which has resulted in nothing but pain for her, so she rejects the very idea of it.

Also cherie was reacting from what she knew- her parents’ and subsequently her trauma was a very sudden, very dramatic event. It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story.

Clover is also reacting to what she knows- she believes that people cannot be trusted, that there’s something inherently wrong with them, or with her, that renders her incapable of trusting them. She is also in a constant state of stress because of the nature of her trauma- it was prolonged and constant and she never knew when it was going to go down; she had absolutely no warning. Whereas cherie uses things like Anthony “cheating” as a sign that trauma is imminent, but otherwise functions well as long as that sign is not present, clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is.

Actually you see this reflected in Anthony too a bit because of the suddenness of his father’s death and the immediate burden it placed upon him especially, whereas Ben didn’t have that pressure and was able to learn to cope more freely and for longer, both of which shaped who they would eventually become, with Anthony being repressed and unable to properly process/handle his emotions and benedict embracing his feelings and being emotionally aware of himself.

You definitely see how they, despite being brothers with the same trauma, had two different trauma responses and how this affects their future relationships. Benedict is able to go slow and care for clover because he’s learned how to care for himself. He’s learned how to listen and embrace whatever she’s feeling without judgement because he does it everyday. Anthony on the other hand can’t go slow- he rushes into things without thinking because he’s terrified that if he waits for even a moment to think about what he’s feeling or going through, that he’ll be too late. It’s his whole thinking irrationally that he’s going to die young thing all over again; he doesn’t have time to embrace his emotions, he is just controlled by them.

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason.

On the other hand, Ben and clover also react to their own relationship the way they’ve been taught. She’s slow and cautious so that she can retreat at any moment and protect herself, and he’s slow because he’s not afraid of being abandoned or hurt; he lives and loves with very little regard to himself. He also recognizes that he could ruin everything by rushing in too quickly- he’s smart about it and thinking about each step rationally.

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. It’s a really, really fascinating analysis about emotional health- not feeling things is deceptively and significantly worse than actually being able to sit with your emotions and live with them. Repressing emotions only gives the illusion of being in control, when it actually surrenders them and gives them the power to control you.

I really like Ben and clover (in case you couldn’t tell lolololol) because it shows two people who are choosing to be kind despite what the world has thrown at them. With Anthony and cherie, as much as I love them, it felt like a very slippery slope into passion with very little control. There’s something beautiful about Ben and clover choosing to be there for one another. Ben is choosing to be patient and wait for her and take care of her- it’s a very emotionally conscious sort of love, and clover is choosing to keep inching forward despite her fear.

That’s not to say that Anthony and cherie didn’t choose one another- they certainly did, but I’m not entirely convinced that either of them were the only ones for one another. I mean we even see this when clover could have chosen Pierre or someone else at any point and Anthony could’ve chosen sienna or anyone else. They chose one another when they had other options, but they still had other options, whereas I don’t see clover with any other options.

I know Ben has other options, so he’s still choosing clover but not every person in the ton would be patient and willing enough to sit with her to go at her own pace.

I also think it’s almost like gaining the trust of an animal, let’s say a dog. If you gain the trust of one that was raised in a loving home and loves people, then that’s great! That love is super special and deserves cherishing. But you didn’t work for it and it’s not particularly hard for any person in the world to earn the love of that dog if something happens to you.

But if you have a dog that’s been hurt before and doesn’t trust anyone, and you put in the love and patience without rushing it, then you and that dog have a bond for life. Then there is an inherent, earned sense of trust that is fragile at first but also the strongest that could be. That trust is special because not everyone could’ve earned that trust; there’s not the sense that it could’ve been given away at any given moment because it won’t be.

Of course this isn’t a perfect analogy and isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with an instantly loving dog, just that they’re very different and there’s value in a relationship that takes hard work and is forged over a long period of time.

With Anthony and cherie, their relationship was a sprint. They both acted like any moment could be their last and every step matters. Clover and Ben’s relationship is a marathon- you don’t know how long it will take, but you know that even if you’re tired you can’t give up. Even if you stumble once, that’s not as important as if you keep going. One foot in front of the other, just keep going. When you reach the end of a marathon, in a lot of ways it feels much sweeter because it took longer and more willpower. Even though it hurts more, you end up accomplishing something far greater.

And don’t get me wrong, I love cherie and Anthony, as you very well know. It’s just that I have a soft spot for people who choose to be together. And people who choose to be shelters in storms for those who are hurting.

Okay this is an essay and I don’t even know if tumblr will let me send this all in one ask, and there’s so much more to say but my thumbs are tired and I need to eat LOL.

Sorry this is so long lol, I just get really excited (as you know lol) and I love love love literary analysis when it’s not being done for a class LOL.

Okay love u see u when u answer this in a day or so!!!

CMA MY LOVE!

Omg I’m so ready for this and I’m incredibly excited, I have been thinking of this ask the whole day! ❤️

So first of all, NEVER EVER apologize for this because you know how much I love long asks and analyses! 🥰 You’ve made my whole day with this! ❤️

I’m so gonna fangirl over you btw😍❤️❤️

She can totally recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to that YES 😂  And that will happen a lot❤️

Aw it is so wonderful to hear that! ❤️ I really try to pay attention to character flaws and make sure to include them and their influence over their behavior and such so it’s such good news for me! 😍 I think character flaws actually make the character more like…real and relatable 😁

Omg you noticed that detail aaaaaa! 😍 She jokes about being together in the afterlife and she doesn’t even realize what it means or how she is getting more comfortable with the idea of being with him 😏

She believes in him wholeheartedly and they will actually have a convo about that in the next chapter!

Oh he wants to get into the art academy in England love, not in Italy 😁 They were just talking about one of the artists that helped build the one in Italy ❤️ But I do think that if he went to the art academy in Italy, Clover would go with him too at least until the end of his time and training there ❤️ But like, they wouldn’t spend the rest of their lives in Italy for sure❤️

Josie has some idea about flowers but Clover is a terrible artist when it comes to drawing/painting lolll😂

The wrist thing… Oh we will learn about that wrist thing 😈

Listen, unresolved sexual tension and yearning will be such an ongoing theme in the following chapters and we will have so much fun with it! 😂

Benedict is always ready to encourage her no matter what she’s insecure about 🥰

The ponyyyy yes! ❤️ I couldn’t use it in the actual chapters of Enamored, so I had to use that one here, it is adorable! ❤️

THERE IS ONLY ONE BED TROPE IS SUCH A GOOD TROPE!😍

There will be much angst going on 😏

one million ways to say I love you without saying it THIS IS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO PUT IT OMG 😍

Exactly! Like, it is incredibly important to Benedict that Clover chooses what is comfortable for her and that she doesn’t feel like she is being forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do ❤️ Unlike many people and couples in the ton, their relationship is totally equal and he will try so hard to make sure Clover sees that ❤️

Benedict has such a good relationship with his whole family and I think soon enough Clover will get so close with his family as well! ❤️

Oh yeah, they sound more and more like a married couple 😂

It is so interesting that you bring this up darling because like, when I was planning this story that contrast was one of the very first things I thought of! ❤️ I try to explore something different in every fic, a different genre or trope or character development but in here one of the first things I decided on was the difference between dynamics❤️

Cherie being a very dramatic person actually set the tone of Enamored in a way, and Clover resisting the idea of love so vehemently and not even realizing the yearning it leads is going to set the tone in GoS ❤️

Oh you’re absolutely right, Clover couldn’t handle the dramatic ups and downs of Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, it would mess her up so badly 💔 In order for her character development to happen, she needs a safe harbor, in a way ❤️ Otherwise she would totally shut down 💔

Their trauma really did shape them! Like, even if Cherie didn’t really have a father growing up, she was still much more privileged than Clover could ever be ❤️ She was very sheltered and coddled and Cassie tried to keep her away from her own trauma of divorce -even though it was impossible to do it completely- Cherie never really witnessed actual heartbreak until she got to London. She believed her parents didn’t love each other so she grew up thinking love was the most important thing in the world, because she had the privilege to do so.

Clover on the other hand was not given that same privilege💔 So she has so many trust issues because of her background, because it’s full of nightmares and trauma 💔

It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story. This is so true!😍

For Cherie, in a way – at least up until a certain point in the story- everything was life or death, she has such a determined way of thinking that she wasn’t really familiar with the “gray” area ❤️ It was yet another thing her parents’ divorce influenced her way of seeing things, especially love and relationships ❤️

clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is. Yesss because for her it’s always there at the back of her mind! 💔 She basically grew up in survival mode, she had to look out for any and every small change, a difference in one’s tone of voice or even a glance, so she is still very much ready to jump back at the slightest sign of it 💔

Anthony’s trauma response and Benedict’s trauma response are incredibly different than each other and it influenced every single part of their lives, from their personalities to their romantic relationships. That’s also why -from the beginning- Benedict had more chance with Clover than any other person did, he is very observant and he was allowed to figure out his own feelings in everything, he didn’t have to taken on the responsibilities that Anthony did. Benedict was allowed to be himself while Anthony was forced to be the head of the family after their father’s death❤️

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason. This is a perfect analysis of their dynamic! 😍

It's so true! Like, Cherie and Anthony had that “rush” throughout their relationship even from the beginning, they were sneaking around, they were keeping things secrets, they were actively looking for unchaperoned moments even if they knew about the consequences and it took them a very long time and a lot of character development to realize that they can actually calm down and control the chaos ❤️

Benedict and Clover’s relationship is the total opposite of it ❤️ While Cherie and Anthony could be incredibly reckless, most of the moments between Benedict and Clover were planned and calm, like Benedict has been incredibly careful to give her that space instead of chaos ❤️

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. Definitely!

I think it’s also very interesting because of the dynamics of power and control in both couples. In Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, up until the moment she heard Simon and Anthony in the study, Anthony had been the one in control and he quite liked it, like that was kind of the dynamic between them. It took him the actual danger of losing her forever to learn to let go of that control in their relationship, that was one of the biggest challenges for him in terms of character development❤️

Benedict and Clover on the other hand are very different than that, because up until the moment they got caught, there was not an instance or a time where they were together and Clover wasn’t in control. And she knew it, that was why she was so comfortable to be around him even unchaperoned❤️ Even when their first kiss happened, though Benedict was the one who told her he would kiss her if she didn’t walk away, she was the one who took the first step, she was the one who pulled the cigarette from his lips so that he could kiss her ❤️ Clover has been setting the pace in their relationship from the very beginning, Benedict just makes sure they can talk and spend time together ❤️

Oh yeah, Cherie and Anthony’s romance was very out of control throughout the story, Clover and Benedict on the other hand are moving much more carefully and with so much patience ❤️

They definitely had other options in terms of marriage! But I also think after meeting one another, they would always be in love with each other even if they married other people❤️

I actually don’t think there is anyone in the ton that Clover would have the dynamic and romance she has with Benedict! ❤️ The same for Benedict, I think something would feel missing 😁They are meant for each other and we will see many scenes with it! ❤️

Oh I totally get that analogy, yes! ❤️ And working for that trust creates a very strong bond ❤️

Sprint vs marathon is a wonderful way to put it! ❤️ Anthony and Cherie were very impulsive, and Benedict and Clover are more…like, they’re more in control ❤️ It will take them a very long time to be open with each other -at least on Clover’s part- but it will also make them fall for each other even more ❤️ Especially for Clover, she is not the person to fall for someone that suddenly and willingly like Cherie ❤️ Cherie spent her whole life wishing and waiting for her love story, so when she finally got it she was so happy that she didn’t think about slowing down 😂 Clover on the other hand spent her whole life repeating over and over again how she would never fall in love, so it will be a very different process for her ❤️

DARLING-

I am hugging you virtually, like…. You have no idea how much it means to me that you wrote this, you have made me incredibly happy! 🥰 You are so talented with literary analysis and symbolism and also reading the characters and between the lines! ❤️ This ask gave me so much inspiration and also made me think of the story in very different ways with different perspective 🥰 And I learned a lot about the dynamics of the characters and I’m just like, so excited to use it in the story! 🥰😍❤️

I re-read this the whole day over and over again and I am still in awe of it ❤️  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMG ❤️

[shawnjacksonsbs]

This is not the bliss we're looking for.

With as much tact as we can muster, why don't we tell each other how we really feel? <-(rhetorical question) 1-11-25

"If someone must allow you to do something, then you are not really free, are you?" - Whipped Peter

I literally just opened my eyes. It's the wee early hours of the Friday before I'm to post this. I laid here for a few moments brain not letting my thoughts escape enough to fall back to sleep.

I was watching a show the other day and heard a General say, "Ignorance is not the same as innocence."

It gave me pause.

Thats is exactly right.

Usually, not always, but usually the "I didn't know" bit comes as I'm trying to get out of being responsible for a thing that's already taken place because I stood in my ignorance and decided anyway. Right? Lol no lol

If I asked you to imagine arriving at, and touching the surface of the sun, would you think ouch, red skin, blisters, heat and fire or . . .the instant vaporization that would occur before your consciousness could register the pain? Just a curiosity.

Our 1st person experiences don't really give us a good way of judging the world at large, as a whole. Ya know?

People being distrusting of media and government is probably a good thing, but thinking that that's not beneficial to the bad people in our country, or other countries, is a terrible disservice to those we care about.

Completely eliminating outlets instead of treading thru them seems dangerously lazy.

Looks like Zuckerberg made a pretty big move the other day doing away with the way Facebook fact checks, but finding his way into the hearts of freedom searchers, but also into the arsenal of those ill-intentioned persons looking to spread misinformation to the less-educated people in our lives. I worry about our elderly and our older children.

It's fine for you to not lean on your own understanding by putting faith or stock in your saviors. Lean on your God, or Jesus, or Mohammed. That's all well and good, but if you pray for answers but then dismiss the answers when they arrive because you don't understand how the greater world works, you are letting your fear, which is based in your not really knowing, take a different shape and win anyway.

As I watch this country continue to digress into times we thought we made it out of such as vaccine debates (even before covid) Roe vs Wade conversations, Trump rallying half the country together for a bigger divide and watching people look up to these persons that are so far from what they claim to be their true values . . .my heart hurts.

I generally carry more peace with me, than I ever have at any other point in the history of my life with my biggest worries usually still surrounding the well-being of my adult children.

Recent years have adjusted the worry to encompass a bit more, but not on a detrimental level, not yet. I still control my peace, right now anyway. But. . .

I wonder, how much freedom we actually have vs how much freedom we actually need. For as loud as people scream freedom in this country, you may want to look around. Not only are we so super restricted from so much it hurts my bank account, and then some, some people are safer with less freedoms. Anarchy is determined by trust remember?

That's the state of the world we live in. Where does the real ignorance lie? Is my ignorance your responsibility and vice versa?

We need to regroup, and I think we'll get it. It'll be forced on us soon enough.

Now, it's time to stumble into the kitchen for coffee, and to the window to see if last night's snow will dampen my plans of going to get a couple of the grandlittles for the weekend.

Real priorities amongst the chaos right there!

It is that gratitude that shepherds the peace, and a love beyond comprehension that keeps the gratitude in check.

Keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around, but also keep fighting, our way, for what is right by others being taken advantage of. Bullies are bullies even if they don't see it.

I hope your grandma lives to a ripe old age and dies of natural causes, and doesn't lose any parts of her life to misinformation.

Being kind, should show the way if we're doing it right.

And,

Re-using old quotes that are made of gold is top-tier too. Lol

Until next week;

"Why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out ridin' fences

for so long now . . .

. . .

And freedom,

oh freedom

well, that's just some people talkin'" - the Eagles, Desperado

[mjammies]

maxon come back plzzz (the elite)

ch21-24

Ch 21 

-not the king and maxon leaving to go to asia

-maxon must be 5’8 the way they be describing him

-”call ahead and tell them to go easy on us” maxon you gotta be kinding if you think this girl got ties like that

-oop kriss is taking itttttttt 

-i hate america i really do but this kinda behavior with kriss woulda had me tweaking tf out fr

-”you are such an idiot sometimes” gurl arent you tryna win him and you calling him a dummy

-”he noted the homemade bracelet I wore. He studied it, seeming confuse, then kissed my hand tenderly” america better pray that maxon dont know what the guards buttons look like. America really dumb af.

-not anne finding aspen in america room omgg can somebody jump him plzz, where the hell is this rod when you really need it.

-”he was in plain clothes, not his uniform” bro i think aspen was meant to be a 6 cause this level of ignorance is unmatched.

-”maxon is gone. This changes everything.” ummmmm no it does not, goofy 

Ch 22

-atp they shoulda put cameras in all the rooms cause im tired of them sneaking around

-i dont even wanna read this bitch ass chapter 

-”i dont like talking about him anyway” ofc you dont, only cause he tryna take your girl

-”and the injections, too” yall getting fed and bbls??

-my thing is if aspen really wanted to make change wouldnt he let america be a princess since she'll actually speak out about all the nonsense going on. Cause if you take her, maxon is gonna marry someone else and the exact same shit is going to continue to happen.

-”slowly, he lowered me to the mattress of pillows” i want them both to die

-”there was a newfound confidence there, something instilled in him through becoming a two” why not a one, imagine the confidence a one could have 

-”when this was all over, would i be a two or a one?” bro this wack ass caste system. The only reason cass set it up like this was to make it seem like there was a real competition here, but wth kinda comp is it between a prince and a guard, like sir you are THE HELP,

-america is just greedy asf, maybe she needs a poly relationship since she cant chose. 

Ch 23

-”but elise family says they never arrived” oop the prince and king is mia

-not the king saying they there but elise family wth is they at

-not kriss pulling her in the garden to chat about maxon, this finna get juicy

-”i think you and i might be neck and neck at this point” oooppp she saying yall is equally in the running omggg

-”anyway, he loved it. He said no one had given him a present yet”. Damnnnnnn america you really missed the ball on that opportunity

-omggg he done took kriss to his room and not even miss thing has been

-”anyway he started visiting me during pretty much every free moment he had” im gonna be sick

-he aint even try to kiss her yet, good

-”i dont know how you feel, but i love him” damn. Miss home of the brave couldnt even say that and here go kriss confusing easilyyy

-not the rebels demanding they end the selection, yall dont like a little drama lol

CH24

-broo imma need maxon to get back and soon

-”what if maxon was dead?” girl dont act like you care

-oop waitaminute the king and maxon are coming home tonighttttt, thank god

-”kriss left seconds later. Maybe she was making a welcome home card.” lol i sure hope so

-not the maids fightingggg

-are the maids not also a two? See this why this caste system doesnt work 

-oh wait nvm i guess not

-she back to reading gregory’s diary, im not reading all that tho yall be easy

-damn he wrote a lot

-not she tryna look decent for maxon, i know thats right

-awww not him gifting her a blue bracelett, i need someone who will think about me in a whole different country

-”i didnt find anything for anyone else” period

-broo this could all be hers, but she so slowww 

-”im just really confused about you rn.” GIRL hes the one whose been confused about YOU

-”if you ever want to know anything about me… all you need to do is ask.” now THAT is a man

-”i dont know if im ready to do that yet” whats the number to this palace, im calling in a bomb threat myself 

-maxon gone for days, yall thinking he died, he returns, and this is how yall communicate when he gets back palease.

[bitterrfruit]

hiii i just wanted to say your writing is phenomenal, i am going back to reread licking wounds and i noticed some comments, probs made in good faith!! but still they irked me kinda and i hope that you arent feeling bad for putting updates on the backburner for a bit. your work is amazing and its such a kindness to share it at all for free on here, and i hope you arent being made to feel like some sort of 'content machine' or something, bc ive noticed the cod community starting to treat writers and artists like such but anyway yeah thats all love your stuff, hope youre having a lovely day and your writing is well worth some patience and rereads so ignore anyone being annoying lol💕💕 (and if im just being too sensitive about the comment thing i hope to at least tell you youre an extremely talented writer!!)

this is truly the nicest and sweetest message ever, seriously brought me to tears 😭

i’m genuinely so blessed and grateful that people enjoy my work enough to ask me for more of it, and i’m lucky that most people who request updates are sincerely kind and are just enthusiastic about my stories!!

i have been slow with updates and i do feel guilty about that, because i really want to keep my readers engaged, and i worry that taking too long will alienate some. But genuinely this message is so encouraging, that even one person is willing to wait and even going back to reread is just 🥹❤️!!!

licking wounds especially has reached an emotional peak and will kind of stay that intense for the remainder of the story - which definitely takes a lot more thought and effort to write (hence my delay 😓). But i’ve made my bed and i must lie in it!! I promise i’m working on the next chapter, i have the entire story laid out, I just have to get my fingers going.

truly this message has made my whole month, year even, i appreciate you so much and i’m just so overjoyed that you enjoy my stories 💗💗💗 thank you and i adore you anon!!!

[evilkitten3]

#aughhhh god this is still so fucking cool#ive been listening to the song a lot during my daily commute#and been paying a bit more close attention to the lyrics they just fit him sooo well#like the speaker here. he talks abt how he ascends from a 'hole' or a 'bottomless pit'#first thing that came into my brain is the pit that gai creates when he Crashes him unto the ground & mdr just lies in there#asfdfdgfs. but u could also see it as him ascending from the hole that he lives in for decades before. lol#'this hole gave birth to the preacher in me' .... mdr isnt a preacher exactly. but he IS a messiah figure. thats what he thinks#of himself at least. a god .. and that part of him was forged while he was there in the cave. in the woods ... u know u could#almost see it as parallel to how jesus was buried in a hole in the woods LOL and then is resurrected out of there and becomes the savior

#anyways but the 'messiah' mdr. the self image he has as a messiah + the literal requirements for him to fill that position. theyre forged#while he's in there. cuz he awakens the rinnegan there and its also a time of extreme solitude .. which hardens his conviction of the plan#moreover 'there is no way to quell my desire' mdr IS driven by his desire ... his desire to abandon all that is human abt himself#and become a god ... and there's no way to quell it. no way to Sate it. no way to do anything that would keep him from this#'the darkness was a cocoon. just like the moth i escape the gloom. reborn. i am free. like a fetus again i learn how to breathe'#mdr is reborn and begins a whole new section of his life. there's a transformation that happens before as i said in the cave ..#and he is now focussed and driven ONLY by his unquenchable desire .. to achieve immense power and take control over everything#his desire takes control over Him .. not even he himself can control it. or stop it. or quell it ... mdr is unstoppable not only#bc he is strong. but bc his conviction and confidence in himself is so strong. his Desire is so strong .. to achieve the goal that he wants#i also like how the 'come closer to me' part is timed to the hsrm scenes ... mdr wants hsrm to come closer to him ..#he wants him real close. but it doesnt work so instead he tries taking control by himself. by becoming the savior#there is also talks abt fire and the metaphor w the moth ... maybe u could even say that he's just like a moth that desires the fire#and wants to get close to it .. but he gets close enough to burn up and destroy himself godddfsds u could even relate this to this one poem#abt the moth and the fire and its written from the perspective of. a roach? i think? and it speaks abt how the moth#it knows it will burn up but it still wants it so bad ... and the roach is almost jealous. to want smth so bad#that u even accept getting burned up .... feel like in SOME way this relates to mdr bc while mdr doesnt know he'll get burned#he still ignores all the signs ignores how he becomes someone entirely else also than he originally wanted#cuz he just wants it so bad ...#and he gets too close to the beautiful flame ... (just like icarus also). and he burns up and dies. his own desire destroys him#aughhh anyway this is just me free-style rambling asfsfdfds no guarantee for this to be very sensical#but yeah its like this song was written for him ..

RIGHT IT'S SO GOOD

i noticed my AMV got a copyright restriction so i wanted to upload it here in case it gets taken down

song: The Pit by Priest