#but another part of it is that i hated my initial draft for this so much that i just shut the document and haven't opened it since

[demie90s]

MASTERLIST PT.2

NAVIGATION (Much Easier)

MASTERLIST PT.1

{ WBB & WNBA IMAGINES }

(Pink & Black Edition🖤🩷)

{ l hate a weak!reader with y/n cringe moments. My readers never soft. They crash outs. We pissed. Nah I'm playing but enjoy}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~LSU~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flaujae x You

• This ain't just a chain

→ She let you wear it once. Now it's yours. On your neck during warmups. In the studio. At press. The chain with her initial on it.

• Dirty South, Deeper Love

You’re a rising southern rapper from Baton Rouge, all iced grills and slow-burning confidence. She’s never touched a basketball, but she’s made a name spitting heat—and people keep comparing her to Flau’jae.

• Mics Up & Outta Pocket

• Mic'd Up & Outta Pocket Pt.2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~PHOENIX MERCURY~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diana Taurasi x You

• Tweets with Tequila and Don

→ You’re a little tipsy, a little too bold, and a little too obsessed with WNBA legend Diana Taurasi. One night, the tequila talks—and your Twitter fingers get reckless.

• Say Less, Pt.2

→ You weren’t born a prodigy. You were overlooked, counted out, told to try another sport before you even had a chance to believe in yourself. But when you came back, you came back different.

• Just Read the Line, Dee

→ You force a very grumpy, very confused Diana to do a TikTok trend.“we listen and we don’t judge”. Diana’s not feeling it—at first.

• Candy

Diana doesn't do TikToks. She doesn't dance. Doesn't act. Doesn't play around... until you came into the picture. Somehow, you convince her to do the "Candy Remix" challenge.

Britney Griner x You

Kahleah Copper x You

• Youngin

Natasha Cloud x You

• 2 Kills, 1 Vlog

→ You’re not a pro baller, but you’re hella known—YouTube, IG, TikTok, the works. And today? You’re linking up with your longtime “friend” Natasha Cloud.

• Soft Launch

→ Natasha Cloud is bold on court, loud on social, but private where it matters. You? You’re the reason.

• Whoop, There It Is

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SEATTLE STORM ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sue Bird x You

• Not So Lowkey

→ You and Sue have been keeping things quiet. You’re a rookie, she’s Sue Bird, and no one needs the media or the team blowing things up. But one casual date night—hoodie, hat, sushi—and the WNBA internet loses its mind after someone posts a blurry pic.

• Control Issues

→ You’re a cocky, arrogant, mouthy star on the court—a guaranteed draft pick with an ego that stretches baseline to baseline. No one can check you, emotionally or physically. But then Sue Bird walks into your practice.

• Two Years Too Patient

→ You’ve been mentored by Sue for two years. Respectfully. Quietly. Obsessively. But tonight, after one too many looks and just enough skin, you stop pretending you can wait any longer.

• Dog Off the Leash

→ You’re the rising star in Indiana—raw talent, zero filter, always one comment away from a fine. Legends like Sue and Diana were only brought in to help “tame” you. First mistake. You don’t do tame.

• Mad For What

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~USC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Juju Watkins x You

• Caught Slippin’ (But Make It Cute)

→ You’re that influencer—pretty, unserious, and always online. Thirsting over Juju Watkins for months on your socials, convinced she’d never actually see any of it.

• Whipped Doesn’t Even Cover It

~~~~~~~~~~~~U of I ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caitlin Clark x You

• She’s Only Sweet to Me

→ You’re that girl—model-pretty, sharp-tongued, New York raised with a mouth that could make a ref cry. Caitlin’s the only one who gets a different version of her.

• Shameless Rivalry Part 2

→ It started with a viral interview. Asked for your top 5 celebrity crushes, you answered without hesitation—Paige Bueckers and Caitlin Clark, tied for #1.

• What You Need

You and Caitlin Clark share a dorm. She has a boyfriend—Connor. But you’ve been in her space too long, too close, too bold.

• Halftime Show

Kate Martin x You

• Quiet Meets Chaos

→ Kate Martin is the WNBA's soft-spoken sweetheart-talented, calm, and loyal to her routines. You're the city's most unfiltered "It Girl".

• She’s Not Me

→ Kate Martin’s doing her best to be loyal—to smile through the dinners, take the photos, and pretend she doesn’t hear your voice every time she closes her eyes.

• Sticky Finger Soft Eyes

~~~~~~~~~~~UCONN~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige Bueckers x You

• That Doesn’t Stop the Show

→ You and Paige were a secret, quiet thing. But when things ended, they ended. You didn’t speak on it—not until the heartbreak turned into lyrics.

• She Got That Dog In Her

→ You’re known in the underground dance scene for tearing through freestyle battles like it’s personal. Paige is known for being one of the most composed players in college hoops. But when she shows up to your Red Bull-style comp and loses all chill…

• Call Her Guard(ian)

→ You’re used to attention. You’re famous, pretty, and constantly photographed—but not every kind of attention is wanted. One night out turns uncomfortable fast when some guy won’t take a hint.

• She Don’t Even Talk to Us Like That

→ The team’s doing a lighthearted post-practice video segment—favorite moments caught on camera. Until Paige pulls out a private video of reader singing to her while she’s half-asleep in bed.

• Shameless Rivalry

→ It started with a viral interview. Asked for your top 5 celebrity crushes, you answered without hesitation—Paige Bueckers and Caitlin Clark, tied for #1.

• Onto You

→ She’s Paige Bueckers—UConn’s golden girl. Lights follow her everywhere she goes. And me? I’m just a face in the crowd.

• Too Late to Love Me Right

• Legends and Lesbian’s

Azzi Fudd x You

• 10 Things I Hate About You

→ Everyone loves Azzi. She’s sunshine, discipline, pure gold with a jumper. And you? You’re the complete opposite.

Nika Muhl x You

• How Much Was It?

It starts as a joke TikTok trend. Nika mouths “So how much was it?” and you, the rich, soft-launching menace you are, casually reply “$15,000.” You try to keep a straight face. Really.

• Still Mad. Still Yours. , Part 2

→ Nika messed up. Nothing unforgivable-but enough to leave you quiet, closed-off, and ice-cold in your own penthouse. What she doesn't know is you forgave her the minute she apologized.

Kk Arnold’s x You

• Caught

→ You and KK have been dating on the low for months. Nobody knows. Paige— on live, bored and nosy—grabs the phone to go find you.

Whole Team x You

• Coach, I Swear It Was an Accident (It Wasn't)

→ You've been testing Geno's patience since the moment you stepped on UConn's campus. You're talented, unbothered, and just enough of a smartass to keep your scholarship hanging by a thread. But deep down, you're his favorite headache.

• I Don’t Know How to Wish Anymore

→ You’ve always been the glue—the light, the calm, the one who makes the team laugh and makes Geno’s life easier. But what they don’t see is how lonely it feels to be strong all the time.

• Where the Hell Is She?

→ Reader’s always around. Always clinging to someone, stretched out across a teammate’s lap, braiding hair during film. But today? She’s gone.

• Don’t Get Comfortable

→ During a joint scrimmage with another top program, reader shows out. Cool, confident, hitting shots like it’s nothing—and naturally, the other team starts noticing. Compliments turn to flirting. A few players get a little too bold.

• Dance Break, Baby

→ They did not know she could dance like that. When halftime rolls around and reader hits the court in full glam with a majorette squad or professional dancers at her back, the team loses their minds.

• Not One Damn Was Given

→ Reader throws hands on the court after a player body-slams her teammate. Fists fly. The team’s in shock. Hours later, reader hits IG Live and drags the other team with career-ending energy.

• She’s Always Been That Girl

• Halftime Unleashed

→ At halftime of a heated UConn game, the big screen surprises everyone by cutting to locker room footage of the women bonding.

• Bleed Blue…Literally

→ Everyone knew #17 was fine. What they didn't know— at first-was that she's covered in ink under that uniform.

• She Plays For Us

→ You are fine, flirty, and a little too good at everything-on and off the court. When UConn plays USC, things get heated fast.

• Micd Up & Outta Pocket

→ UConn vs LSU. The lights are bright, the tension is real-but #17 is focused on two things: Flaujae and Angel Reese.

• Pretty Hurts Until She Plays

→ Everyone thinks she's just the team's cheerleader with a jersey. Glossy lips, soft voice, and an untouched warmup suit. That is... until Nationals.

• More Then A Teammate

→ You’re the heart of the team. The one who always plays it cool-never too emotional, never too soft-but always there.

• Zumba Queen

→ During a chill team trip to the mall, reader mysteriously disappears—until Geno and the squad hear loud music find her leading a full-on Zumba class.

• Nationals Chaos

• You Can’t Take Her Nowhere

• Main Character

• Soft Spot

• Practice Wife

~~~~~~~~~~~~~LVA ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sydney Colson + TP

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DW ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paige Bueckers x You

• Clear As Day

→ Paige hits her head, says she has a headache, and Coach doesn't blink. You've always been calm-quiet, focused, dependable. But Now?

• Front Row

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TCU ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Olivia Miles x You

• Loyal

You got a man. But you also got a weakness. Olivia Miles

[daydreamgoddess14]

The Reading Rooms

Another week down... they just keep coming, don't they?! Sometimes I think it might slow down but then I realise that this is probably just my life now 😅

Previous weeks Masterlist

Always remember to heed the warnings posted by the individual authors. What I'm happy to read may not be what you're happy to read, so I take no responsibility if you find something you're not into.

And finally, Tumblr is a community. Reblog, gush like you've never gushed before - I promise you, the authors below will love it, and love you for it! We write because we love to, but we share our work because we love the community of it. If you read something you like, let the world know! 💕

The List

Such an exciting week! I hit 800 followers - considering I haven't planned anything for 500/600/700 yet I really need to get on with some kind of event 🤭 Lets see in a couple of weeks. I have an assignment due at the end of next week so if you see me here, no you didn't - ok? Writing wise, I posted the first chapter of Strategic Interests! It landed initially with a bit of a whimper more than a bang - but I have FOUR chapters in the bag and I hate sitting on them so I'm going to post chapter 2 tomorrow 🙌 For my Hollywood AU lovers out there, For Your Consideration is coming, I promise - she's just being an angsty diva is all 😅

Onto the reading!

Bucky Barnes

Tension is a Loaded Gun by @keithyp00 - YESSSS this was so good, absolutely delicious!

@mercurial-chuckles - Yield to Me - that bloody cat! So cute and angry but not at you Bucky is just perfection!

where the quiet lives by @cursedheartsclub is literally the most beautiful. An absolute must read this week - it's divine.

@sunday-bug knows the way to my heart. Light as a Feather was the cutest, fluffiest, perfectest little nugget of joy I needed!

I recommended Jenga a few weeks ago... there's a Part 2! Now go and thank @skaye44 nicely!

A Home with You @donaweasley so romantic, so sweet, so lovely! 💕

Wounded Pride by @orellazalonia was so fun!

I will never apologise for putting Declassified on this list every bloody week. @dreamwritesimagines posted chapter 9 and I remain utterly obsessed with the HURDLES she puts in their way! Meanwhile I'm itching for these dolls to kiss already!!

That Was Mine by @societyfolklore YUMMMMY Bucky is the only snack I need.

holy SHIT @buckyseternaldoll - knifes edge AND eighteen hours AND every inch, every corner were ALL so hot. SO HOT!!! Also, Elle has gone from about 70 to 700 followers in about two days. RIP her notifications but so, so deserved! Congratulations sweetheart! 😘

The Escort by @azriona was EXCELLENT and everyone slept on it! and I also read Even on a Thursday (Peggy x Steve) In fact, you all need to haul ass to Azriona's blog and catch up with the many deaths of Clint Barton AND her new Stucky x Reader fic Reflections which I need to catch up on!

John Walker

From the Bottom of my Heart; fuck you. by @rissararity - I mean, the title alone is incredible, right?! This was so great!

Harder by @geeky-politics-46

Bob Reynolds

Pouring My Love onto You by @feelingdozy was adorable 🥹

I am confessing my eternal shame here. I read a gorgeous Bob fic where he grows a little bit of a beard and reader has a glorious oh shit moment when she realises how hot he is.... and NOW I CAN'T FIND IT!!! When I find it - and I will, I promise I will reblog the shit out of it. In the meantime, if you know the one I mean - link it!!

Joaquin Torres

Misunderstanding by @lives-in-midgard was so super cute!! I love Joaquin so much 🥹🥹

Jake Seresin

Feels Like Home by @crossskylinesandcontrails - gorgeous!!!

And that's the week. I'm calling it there even though there are about 956,934 fic in my drafts to read. I need to stop writing for a hot minute so I can read instead... but the muse is here and I don't want to kick the bitch out so I'm afraid I must write!

[lunaandco]

pool of tears

pairing: pedri x ofc

summary: esther's friend was invited to a pool party with her latest fling. esther has to face her insecurities and the fact that sometimes, your friends can be worse than enemies. meanwhile, pedri is hit with cupid's arrow.

warnings: fatphobia and body image issues. esther is plus size and some characters mock her for it. eating disorders.

taglist: @htpssgavi ; @joaosnovia

masterlist // i do not take requests

The sun was abrassive, reflecting on the water of the pool. Esther hated the heat, and eyed the cool water longingly, but did not dare to even think about taking a quick bath.

She would not have attended the party if it wasn't for Zoe, her best friend, who had been invited by one of the boys there, Alejandro, who was flirting with her. Zoe had insisted, pointing out she didn't know anone in the crowd except her situationship, and that having her there would give her confidence.

The first few minutes told Esther that she should have declined, as she wanted to do initially.

Alejandro was not just some rich boy Zoe had bagged, he was a whole ass elite footballer, one of the Barça gems, and the group friend Zoe didn't know was formed by his same age teammates and their respective girlfriends or flings.

There was no real reason for Esther to be there, and it was obvious many of them agreed.

Esther was not as insecure as she had been growing up. She had made peace with her body to a certain extent: her eating disorder was barely a memory, and she was not afraid of trying new clothes at stores.

But pools and beaches were a whole other can of worms she had not tackled yet, and doing so surrounded of elite athletes and some of the most beautiful women in the world, with their skinny, toned bodies and pretty bikinis was not helping her at all.

She sat by the border of the pool, her t-shirt still on, an awkawrd smile on her face. Zoe had left her almost immediately, and was now sitting on Alejandro's shoulders as she played some game with him and Fermín, who had his own girlfriend on his shoulders.

Somebody made a joke that Esther didn't catch, but she still faked a small laugh. Her eyes landed on Pedri, but when she noticed he was already staring, she darted her gaze away immediately.

She took a deep breath, and stood up quietly, to slip away to the bathroom. Esther needed a minute, alone, to fix her hair and maybe draft a plan to leave the party before it was time.

The bathroom was as posh as she expected, and she brushed the loose strands of her dark hair into the braid Zoe had doe earlier, while trying to touch as few thing as possible. She was already hard to miss, with her size, she did not wish to cause any more trouble.

Once she deemed everything right, she returned to the garden, but stopped right by the door when she heard her name.

"Eshter and I have been friends since high school," was saying Zoe.

"And was she always... you know..."

"Oh, yeah. She always makes everyone around her look skinny."

Esther's stomach dropped. It wasn't the first time she heard something like that, but she had thought Zoe valued her more. A murmur of laughter came from the pool.

Esther took a step, and then another, finally making it back to the pool. Most of the boys were pilled around an old grill, trying to make the barbeque, while the girlw had gotten together, giggling about something Esther had not caught.

She approached them cautiously, feeling like a deer among a pack of wolves.

"Hey, Esty!" called one of the girls she didn't know. "Where is that shirt from?"

Esther looked down to her t-shirt, an old Iron Maiden logo on it.

"It was from my father," she replied shyly.

"Ah, of course." The girl shared a knowing look with the other women in the group, that Esther was not part of. Even Zoe smirked.

A wave of nausea hit Esther. She really wanted to get out of there.

"Hey, girls!" Esther startled when Pedri appeared from behind her. He was shirtless, droplets of water from the pool still falling from his shoulders until they met the hem of his bathing suit. She averted her gaze before it could even be considered staring. She knew the mocking would be worse if they could attach some sort of crush to her. "Balde is such a genius, he forgot getting some firewood, I'm going to buy some really quick. Esther, right?"

Her eyes shot up, not expecting him to actually adress her.

"Do you want to come with me?"

Yes, was the first thing she thought. Let me get away from everyone. But she heard the little snort form one of the girls, and she cowered. Zoe had an incedulous smirk on her face.

"I..."

"C'mon, it will be fun!" he insisted, grabbing her wrist. "Pick up your things, we're going hunting wood!"

Esther didn't really have a choice, as Pedri alomost dragged her towards the car. She had the idea to take her bag with her, not leaving any of her posessions behind.

In the car, Pedri was humming one of the songs on the radio as he searched the nearest store in Google Maps, while Esther wondered what would be the best way to ask him to drop her at the closest subway station.

"You know... I didn't realise Zoe was so mean. And all the others too."

The comment caught Esther by surprisee.

"They are not mean," she heard herslef saying.

"Bullshit, they are mean. They were mocking you earlier, about you weight, weren't them?"

"Yes, but..."

"No buts. It was mean. And we should probably question the friendships we keep, if that is how they behave." Without looking away from the road, he handed her his phone. "This is probably the last time Zoe and Alejandro hang out. But it doesn't have to be the last time we meet. Give me your number?"

Esther's lips twitched.

"I don't think that is a good idea," she explained. "I know when I'm being set up. You're not the only one to ask me out in a dare, Pedri."

Pedri frowned.

"That is not what I'm doing," he said. "I genuinely want to meet you, I think you're really cute..."

Esther's sharp scoff interrupted him.

"Do not mock me," she asked him. "Please..."

"I mean it."

"Could you please drop me by the subway station?"

"What? Why?"

"I wanna go home," she admitted. Pedri looked concerned, and then offered the phone again.

"Write your address, I'll leave you at your house. You do not need to go to the subway like this."

"But the firewood..."

"They can wait for a little bit," he replied, decidedly. "Your address, cariño."

Esther obeyed, and Pedri turned around the car, following the instructions from the phone. Soon, the neighborhood changed from the fancy one the footballers lived in, to the claustrophobic streets she knew.

During the whole trip, Pedri kept making small talk with her, a pleasant smile on his face as he talked about the beaches in his island.

"Thank you," she told him as she left the car.

"Don't worry about it," he replied with a wink.

💙❤️

Esther thought that would be the last thing she would hear from Pedri. She had blocked Zoe in all social media once she settled in her home, preparing to start again, searching for a new friend group.

But a week later, a bouquet of flowers arrived to her home. They were tulips of all colors. The note was short.

"They made me think of you when I saw them on the store, Pedri"

Esther snorted. Of course Pedri had taken advantage of having her address saved on his phone, since he did not have her number. She blushed, not being able to rememebr the last time a boy had actively tried to pursue her.

💙❤️

Pedri did not stop sending flowers. It was a twice a week occurrence, the delivery guy bringing a new bouquet with a new sweet note.

One of them included Pedri's phone number, a ballsy move, knowing that she could leak it to the internet. For the first time in years, she felt wanted.

Esther grabbed her phone and typed his number on it.

There was nothing to lose, right?

💙❤️

"See how it's me?" teased Pedri with a bright smile. Esther blushed as she got on the car.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

When they had started to text, she had felt paranoid that it was just a joke by Zoe and other girls, like some friends had done to her when she was little. She had begged to talk in a phone call more often than texts, just to reassure herself with his voice, but even then, she kept a distance.

Pedri noticed. He noticed almost everything, like he did when he was on the pitch, and soon forewent the texts and almost always videocalled, no matter how awkward it could be sometimes.

He even offered to meet again sooner than she expected, just to make sure her fears were shut down as quickly as possible, that she understood she really meant it with his flirting.

Pedri had noticed Esther the second she stepped on Alejandro's house. He knew everyone at the party, so her presence was kind of like a mistery to him, specially when he noticed how withdrawn from the crowd she had become.

Whenever new girls joined them, they always tried to do some networking, or at least be as friendly as possible. But Esther seemed to want to know as little about them as she could, and looked ready to bolt away for most of the gathering. It was obvious to Pedri that something was making her uncomfortable, and the comments about her weight he heard and the way she refused to strip to her swimsuit told him the full story.

The thing was, Pedri spent most of that afternoon trying to figure out how to approach Esther without sounding or acting like a creep. He was obsessed with the glances he could steal of her thick, pale thighs, the glossy look of her hair or how sweet and round her face looked.

To Pedri, Esther was gorgeous, and the mocking and disrespect were not only offensive, but also a complete lie.

He had not expected Esther to be so reticent to his advances, at least not if she liked him back. But have her be so insecure towards their tentative relationship just because she seemed to be waiting for the other shoe to drop? Yeah, that broke his heart.

The trip to his own house was shortened by their lively conversation. Pedri's heart was swollen whenever he realised he had gained enough of Esther's trust for her to let loose a bit and giggle or share the things she was passionate about, like indie music or make up.

For their date, Pedri had made, with a little help form Fer, some roasted potatoes and fried fish, and he was moe than excited to share the food with Esther.

She seemed to love it, blushing whenever he made eye contact with her over the candles he had set up. Pedri wished he could have this view for evey dinner he had for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be content with less.

By the time the plates were cleared and washed, Pedri had an idea. September nights were still hot, and his pool was still well tended and open. It was perfect for an in pomptu bath.

💙❤️

"I'm not sure that is a good idea..." hesitated Esther, watching how Pedri dragged her to the garden. "I don't even have a bathing suit..."

"We can do it with our underwear, it will be fun!" he insisted, taking off his shirt.

"Pedri..." her gaze darted away. He stopped on his tracks, and he tuned to look at her, really look at her.

"It will be fine," he said, gaze softening. "I mean it. It's just water, it's just me."

"I..." she stuttered. "I am sorry I'm not that kind of pretty."

Pedri tilted his head.

"That is not true," he said gently. "Fuck, Esty, there is nothing further from the truth."

"I..."

"We don't need to do this," he put on his shirt again, closing the distance between the both of them, hands closing over her shoulders. "I really want you to be comfortable, okay?"

She tried to not let her face slip into a saddened pout. She wanted him to have fun, and her insecutity was keeping him from doing what he wanted.

"I'm sorry," she insisted.

"Hey," Pedri lifted his hand to caress her cheek. "Nothing to be sorry about, cariño."

He pressed his lips to her forehead, arms finally pushing her into a tight hug. Esther melted on the embrace letting him craddle her.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he offered with a small smile on his lips. His eyes were full of love and understanding, a far cry from the way her ex friends used to look at her when she struggled with her body image.

"Yes, please?"

They went back into the house, and Esther snuggled close to his side, her head resting on his chest. He was comfortable, a gentle presence.

She would be fine, she realised. Pedri was laying the groundwork for her to be able to grow comfortable. Tonight she would not jump on the pool, but she knew she would be able to do so soon.

And Esther could not wait to see what her relationship with him turned out.

[the-s1lly-corner]

HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena

if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks

TADC x ENA type!GN!reader

typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions

CAINE:

caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere

will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side

takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone

you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words

POMNI:

writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA

anyways

absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up

honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things

not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write

JAX:

initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken

tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)

sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane

bro is fighting the urge to mimic it

surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself

RAGATHA:

optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others

similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think

ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin

[imaginariumwanderer]

would you mahaps have any more info on your(?) Shadowlily au?

I loved the comic its one of my favorite things, and I crave knowledge. Sooo if they make the deal after he's out from the tree(or is it before and like...ritualistic kind?), does she live in the spire with him? Do others know she's missing/with SM?

Thank u for enjoying my art! The setting is less of an AU and more like scattered ideas I have over time, upon hearing oomf's request I knew it's my opportunity to finally illustrate them so I took it!

Here's all the ideas behind the AU(?) keep in mind, they can be interpreted as platonic, that's my preference:

Ok I got the thoughts(tm) about them as smilk is very much implied to be the Devil to pv's Jesus. I'm obsessed w the idea of him making deals or taking someone in as his pupil, especially if it involve some form of contract loophole or word play. Making deals w a near-godly being isn't sth new for lily, as demonstrated in the red dragon story line. Quite faust-esque.

To answer your questions: The deal was made after an alternate ending of ep 2. Ef didn't die but he's unconscious n bed-bound due to some kind of spell smilk cast on him, this is so in the story lily won't kill smilk on sight n is desperate enough to make deals w him. Pv started having nightmares n frequent visions/hallucinations which worried lily greatly. Eventually leading to him sleep-walking toward the trees w an axe n having several mental breakdowns, which led to lily once again dipping into dark moon magic n summoning smilk's soul. In this setting she never received the guardian power so she only have half of her magical prowess, the only reason the summoning ritual worked is due to smilk wanting her to find him. Maybe someone slipped in a book about dark moon magic somewhere in the faerie library *wink wink*

Their meetings took place in dreams/ the fairy kingdom, call it secret trysts if you will (except both parties hate each other lol). No one knows but pv n gingerbrave is slowly catching on. Smilk is aiming for lily since she's the key to both of his objectives: elder faerie's guardian power and pure vanilla's half of the souljam+having her by his side might prove useful when it comes to silent salt. Lily on her part feel powerless but upon hearing smilk's proposals decided to do whatever she can to stop him from tormenting her friends.

The exact detail of their deal will be left up to interpretation but yes it is ritualistic. As the story progress we would see smilk latch on to lily like a parasite via a spiritual connection, maybe a strange emotional connection too. They are still someone else's soulmates after all, it wasn't fate that brought them together but free-will, this is the story of two people ripping fate apart through blood and tears then stitching it back together sinews by sinews. They'll dig their own grave and lie in it together. Lily's whole theme is freedom so it'll be interesting seeing her try to pave her own path all while questioning if she's making the same mistakes again or not.

Funfact: the comic was supposed to end on page 4 but then I realized "pv" got more screen-time than smilk so I went back n drew 2 more pages. The pet names/hand kissing weren't there in the initial draft lol

In the setting, some pet names smilk gave lily included: "lily bud" or "lily buddy", a reference to her skill but also due to smilk believing lily has yet to reach her full-potential. "Little dove" since I'm weirdly intrigued by the idea of them being Columbine and Harlequin. Most of all, he would frequently call lily "his". His student, his partner-in-crime etc... It doesn't matter, it's a way to remind her she belongs to him. Lily on her part absolutely hate any nicknames he gave her, she's very much aware it's another form of control and smilk's twisted way of defining her. Usually she'd keep quiet but one day she'll probably throttles him or sth along those line.

[tagidearte]

"Pongo, the Imp Clown. Some say he used to be a Star, others say that's just his delusional ramblings." -Original Character for a (so far) unnamed Original Story.

I'm still in the early stages of designing him and his "friend" Pinga. However, I decided to share these initial drafts regardless! This way someone other than me can join in on the character design journey! Let's see how much he changes until the final design! Thoughts below.

Concept Log #1 - Pongo

Aka I want to ramble and my friends don't care robot clowns. Really big rambly rant below.

Also no, this is not a d/ca oc. Trust me, making a robot clown/jester is like walking into a laser trap when you've been obsessing over those two for the past three years. The only d/ca inspiration here was making Pongo warm coloured and Pinga cool coloured. If anything, this was more inspired by the Funtimes.

For now, I hate all the outfits. They don't fit his vibe, his personality, his whole persona. He's an imp clown, but he has... Delusions of grandeur. I need to make him more princely, perhaps? I'll attempt that next time. I already have the chibi base, so it'll be relatively quick.

I also want to make his casing... Different. Either paler with pink shadows, or a darker, more solid pink. He's meant to have only warm colours, contrasting with Pinga (you'll see him some other time) who only has cold ones, so no blues or greens... But I must say. Darker pink will probably win. When I painted his face white it looked too much like a Slay Button En/nard. In fact, I added all that eye and lip makeup to make him look less like En/nard.

The coil torso is the most important part. On a final drawing I'll make it have more loops, which should give the impression the thing is stronger and capable of more powerful bounces (which can hurt you if he decides to launch) - but for these concepts I merely half assed it. The star shaped hat with the back cone coming out is my favourite part!

Hope you enjoy his star shaped nipple coverings as much as I did coming up with them! Originally (not pictured here) he was going to have a big star on his chest, to mimic what I see in a lot of jack in a box's boxes. But the nipple coverings were so raunchy and funny, yet still appropriate for younger audiences (in world), that I left them in. Him being a reformed villain (in the media he's built after, inside the world) allows for messing around with the makeup and eccentricity, but we can't go to far - he needs to look PG while being predominantly adult/teen entertainment as an amusement park bot.

For context... Ever since I got into FN4F I've wanted to do something similar - with a location and mascots -, but instead of an USA animal band, I wanted it to be based on a cartoon set in a magical forest (like Noddy from my childhood - with a city of living toys and two imps that lived in the eViL wOoDs-, but funny for all ages rather than so 5 year old centric). Overtime, the thought of sentient robots forced to work - objects that were given a soul, trapped in a synthetic shell that is their body, dependent on humanity and property to it despite technically being alive, easy to manipulate via some changes in code - wormed itself in.

But I never really had the proper setting or characters for it. That, and I have another original story that has plagued my dreams ever since I was 12/13.

Until now.

I won't go into setting details yet. Let me just say Pinga and Pongo are a ping pong pun, because they both bob up and down with coils - Pongo on his torso, which makes him kind of like a jack in a box; and Pinga on his legs, which allows him to jump really high. They are based on cartoon characters that exist in world, from a movies series that ended up with a cartoon too, sort of like disney stuff but... Not disney. The entire mythos of that company's content takes place in one single world/franchise, it just explores different parts of it with each new series/movie/game.

Pongo is an egomaniac, programmed the be flirty to adults, who struggles on the line between property and self. He used to give a lot of trouble to the park, because his AI allowed him to learn new tricks rather quickly... and most weren't really all that safe or appropriate. So, time and time again, he got sent back to fix it. Having his "brain" messed with has made him deeply afraid of not behaving like a machine, which clashes with how self pleasing he is - you just don't realize it at first, because he's programmed to be a flirty little demon with an attitude. It's just that his real attitude is much more... intense.

Let's see if posting this online makes me not put the project aside too quickly lmao.

[innerchorus]

Arslan Senki Chapter 138 (Part 2)

Figured I better say whatever else I have to say before the next chapter comes out later this week. I thought I had a half-written post in my drafts but either Tumblr ate it or I hallucinated it so hopefully I don't forget anything I wanted to include. I already discussed elements of this chapter here and here, but there's some parts that didn't fit into those posts.

Let's start with Hilmes shedding his cloak. A moment in which he suddenly became even more attractive. Okay I'm sorry I'm here for actual analysis I swear.

This is the chapter in which for the first time, he acknowledges the truth of his parentage and abandons his long-held claim to the throne. It feels significant to me that here he is very literally casting aside the cloak he was wearing during his attempted coronation.

Ironically, the room in which Team Hilmes have been waiting seems to be the throne room itself, complete with the damaged throne and big banner of Kaykhusraw. His bloodline, staring him in the face. His loss against Arslan still fresh in his memory. This is the setting in which Hilmes finally moves past his need for the throne. No matter what happens from here, it's hard to imagine him actively aiming for it again. The throne of Maryam would be okay, though.

(Well, okay, I guess if Arslan died then things would change but I honestly can't see Arakawa going there for the ending.)

(and it was at this point that I realised my draft post was not saved on Tumblr but in fact in a notepad file so let me go and consult that for what else I was planning on mentioning!)

Supremely fucked up that, having been informed that his actions were based on a lie, undead Kharlan's solution is to kill Hilmes, kill his own son, and then die again himself? Very fucked up, but if, post-Atropatene, Kharlan had survived long enough to discover that Hilmes wasn't the rightful heir after all, I could see him killing himself due to the shame.

Kharlan's pride as a Marzban of Pars is why the insults he endured from the Lusitanians were so hard to bear, and it's also why it doesn't surprise me that he seeks to 'take responsibiity' because it feels like his pride demands it of him. He was wrong, and he seeks to correct that, no matter the cost. And again, it's all based on his loyalty to the royal line, the very same thing that caused him to betray his country in the first place. The undead warriors really are warped versions of their living selves, after all.

Yet while I said I could see him killing himself if he'd lived long enough to find out the truth, I can't see him killing Zandeh too. I just can't believe that he'd raise a weapon to his son like this if he had full control of himself. You can see it's tearing him apart inside.

AND if you look at their combat, I think part of him is desperately holding himself back. He hits Zandeh with the butt of his spear not once, but THREE TIMES (twice after he's already disarmed him). He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want to kill his son, and although the sorcery that holds his body and soul together will not allow him to stop attacking, he's clearly trying to avoid landing a fatal blow for as long as possible. Makes me wonder whether that strike to Zandeh's gorget in their initial clash was a similar sort of thing.

Just thinking about how undead Kharlan is yet another person who wants to kill Hilmes simply for the circumstances of his birth, and I hate that (while also acknowledging that this is no less than Hilmes wished to do to Arslan.)

Zandeh really did answer Kharlan’s question about why he’s still wielding his sword for Hilmes with “because I love him”, didn’t he?

With those moments he mentions, presented visually as flashbacks, we're seeing Hilmes through Zandeh's eyes. And Hilmes is seeing himself through Zandeh's eyes. Zandeh's answer is one of absolute honesty. Hilmes recognised Zandeh's devotion early on, but now he sees the full strength of it, and knows that it goes beyond his bloodline or his claim to the throne.

I've been thinking a lot about the expression on Hilmes's face after Zandeh's speech is over. It's like a look of regret and sorrow, and I think it's not only sympathy for Zandeh having to face his father like this, but also for the fact that a man like this ended up serving someone like him.

We know Hilmes ties his worth to getting the throne (remember him saying that he couldn't face Irina before then?). If he's not only lost in the attempt to do so but truthfully never had the right to it in the first place, I can very much see him not feeling worthy of having someone as loyal and devoted as Zandeh follow him. I think that's what's going on here, and it forms part of the reasoning behind his attempt to send Zandeh away.

He doesn't just instruct him to leave the room. If he simply wanted to spare him from the sight of Kharlan's severed head, that would have been enough.

This part had me reeling, because it's Hilmes acknowedging Arslan's calibre. He knows that Arslan will show understanding where he wouldn't have. He knows Zandeh will be treated well. He knows Arslan is worthy of having such a loyal subject while he no longer feels like he deserves someone like that. He knows Arslan will make a good king.

I think I recall @importantdestinydefendor being really worried Hilmes was going to die in this chapter, and while as a reader I didn't personally feel that it was going to happen, what I will say is that I think it's obvious Hilmes himself was preparing to die. That whole 'give Irina a message from me' thing? Sending Zandeh away to serve someone else? Perhaps he was trying to reconcile his 'cursed' bloodline by bringing it to an end (I joked that what he said to Irina about the Parsian royal line's mythology before was essentially 'wanna continue the royal line with me?' so when he references it here it's clear that he believes the line is going to end with him), or perhaps he feels his life has no point now except this act. At the very least, it's an acknowledgement that he's prepared to give his life to defeat Kharlan.

However, thankfully he's not allowed to do that, because Sam arrives at precisely the right time, and I think this'll give Hilmes a chance to find something he wants to live for that's not the throne of Pars. I do, however, think it dramatically increases the chances that Sam will die.

A Japanese fan said that this scene where Hilmes brushes the blood away from his mouth is really hot, and I don't disagree.

Yet while it's been nice to cheer Hilmes on in his actions again, I do hope he can move past this whole 'cursed blood' thing. It's like he's gone from 'my blood means I'm the rightful king and everyone should kneel for me' to 'my blood is cursed so I'm giving up everything and the only thing I'm good for is doing dirty work like this'. I'm just... worried that while him internalising and embracing his cursed blood here allows him to step in and take over from Zandeh, it speaks to a very negative view of himself that will persist beyond this scene.

This is why I need it to be revealed that not only does Zandeh not care about that, but SAM ALREADY KNEW. He already knew and STILL he stayed by Hilmes's side, still he came back to his side even now. And it goes without saying that Irina doesn't care whether he becomes king or not, so hopefully we'll get a scene where Hilmes finally fucking understand and accepts that, too.

Anyway yeah, I’m pretty much expecting Sam to bite the dust next chapter now. I mean, aside from the long talk that they never got to have, his unfinished business is essentially that he didn’t die when he fought Kharlan before.

Sam and Zandeh both sustained shoulder wounds, but Sam's is bleeding more profusely. Actually, his wounds are starting to echo those he sustained during the fall of Ecbatana. I've been rolling that around in my brain a lot, too.

Next chapter should be interesting, I imagine Team Hilmes are going to hear that Zahhak's back and hopefully that will pave the way for a future teamup with Team Arslan.

I do wonder whether we'll see any more sorcerers around, though. Sam's already recently killed one but there are more still to be dealt with, one of then being Ghundi, the one who Sam fought before when he was impersonating Husrab, and the one who very likely stole Kharlan's head. If any of them are nearby right now, it's likely to be him.

[markrosewater]

I seem to always find lots and lots of discourse about block sets. Two sides of the same argument every time.

Side 1 says something like:"I hate all these random sets, I miss block sets."

To which, Side 2 says; "Well block sets never sold as well at the end, players attention span's are better suited for one and done blocks."

My problem with this response is that it essentially ignores the initial statement. Rather than clarifying what they mean, they assume and answer.

Personally, I miss block sets, but ONLY from a story perspective.

Basically, do sets exactly the same as you're doing now. Draft is better now than blocks were, standard with Foundations sounds fantastic. The only thing I'd like to see is a set of setup, and a set of payoff.

MKM was a set based on a murder mystery with the big twist ending basically included in the release, as an example. It could've benefitted from a real, but delayed, payoff. Set up the consequences for each suspect, then reveal and give different consequences that were hinted at in other ways. Bam. Improved.

The last time we visited New Phyrexia, it was a block, I remember ubiquitous speculation over how the story would wrap up. There were factions events at local game stores, branded posters and packs for the factions at play, etc. I had a friend get the New Phyrexian emblem tattooed on themselves. The story felt *Important* and so much less divorced from magic than it does today.

Usually, in my experience, when someone asks for blocks, they're asking for the story to matter. There are lots of mechanically interesting card games out there, and mechanics are only part of what makes magic, magic!

All I would ask is that writers get the opportunity to do setups and payoffs with magic's evolving story with multiple sers, and that story related sets have *some* play synergies. They don't need to share mechanical themes just to share story themes, but it would be a nice little florish if they had mechanical synchronisets,

Hell, a REALLY good idea (in my opinion) would be to do these sets in a different order than the old method. Modern fantasy novels swap POV characters and follow different stories. Why not set up multiple stories in a row, then start to alternate resolving an older, established plot line, and then starting a new one or swapping to another established one. This really gives players time to get interested and speculate (and making the story FEEL present will likely also boost novels and comics numbers, etc., if you need a monetary reasoning.)

What do you think Mark?

We already do a lot of what you’re asking. Each Magic “year” does have a larger connected story, often with different POV characters.

[rodem]

Ok I did it I finally set out what I promised myself I'd do. I'm free! (Now I just need to stop stalling on the Cyrus scenario draft....................)

Here is my translation of the leaked rough sketches for the remake Rocket executives. These images are attributed to Takao Unno, the art director for HGSS. It was already known that he was the artist behind Proton and Petrel, because of the TCG, but it is nice to have confirmation that he designed all of them!

As you can see, because these are formally unreleased, wip concept sketches, I wouldn't take any of the "new" information here as gospel regarding their final game selves. Though getting to see the initial ideas behind their designs and personalities is a big treat in and of itself!

Also this probably doesn't need to be said here, but please respect the Gamefreak employees and don't bother them with anything related to leaks in any capacity.

If you want to share my translation of this leak on another site, please only do so by linking to this Tumblr post and don't repost the images directly. (This also probably isn't something to worry about, but I'm saying it just in case.....)

Under the read more is my translation notes and personal thoughts:

Archer: Archer's notes were the big bottleneck for this, ngl. I was unsure what the nuance was with "he wants to become Giovanni," so I spent a decent amount of time looking into it. Based on that, I can infer that the nuance here is that Archer's feelings of admiration for Giovanni are so strong that he either wants to straight up be Giovanni, or exactly like him. Either way, it implies a desire to be just like the other person so strong that you lose your own sense of self. So take of that what you will I guess…..

Ariana: I translated the last bullet point under the assumption that it was referring to the plot point where Ariana and her subordinate go after the player character in the TR HQ. Japanese doesn't have plurals so when I first read it I thought it said they routinely attack children together, but I am going to assume that that wasn't what Mr. Unno was going for here.

Petrel: Petrel and Proton's names being switched around here is not a mistake on my part, btw. Petrel's arrogant way of talking is present in the final game! I have no idea how obvious it is in the English version tbh, so I'm pointing it out here!

(Example: he uses "ore-sama" in HGSS like twice ok. He's so cute and I love him so so much.)

Based on the wording, I'm still kinda unsure if the mole was intended to also be fake. (I'm leaning towards yes rn.) So I will just leave this convo I had with a friend here:

Also in relation to lack of plurals, you could interpret the hat line as him hating hats in general, but based on the context it's most likely just referring to the TR hat.

Proton: I don't really have much to say here except that I've stared at his cleavage for longer than necessary.

There is another leaked image that shows Proton from the front (definitely made as an internal reference image). It is interesting that this reference gives him a grey undershirt while his official depictions from the front (Hitoshi Ariga's 3ds theme and Masters) have him wearing a white one!

[campcoldlakeartroom]

Here are some different drafts and the process of working on my own poster for the SPO poster project! Long post below!

My initial concept was to have the poster be heavily grafitti'd as a sort of fun little gag towards my headcanon of the Snes and Wii iterations of him being different characters and how frequently the fandom bullies his design.

I then got sad cause I realized I'd put a lot of work into making the poster, and Aran himself, look really good and I didn't wanna hide either. So I decided to make it an open invitation for others to fuck around with their own posters!

I ended up being pretty indecisive on what I wanted to do for the graffiti itself- I had far too many ideas.

I obviously got the stache, brows, crossed eyes, and stink lines form the contender intro for Aran but I thought I'd add my own touches like silly shit people did in my server (playing tic tac toe on his massive forehead) and generally what I think Wii Aran would do to mock his counterpart.

The original iteration ended up too mean especially with all the fat comments, so switching them for more varied words ended up looking much better! 'Men gotta be fart, stupid, and hideous' is my favorite line.

To translate some other insults: Jackeen means a city person, usually mocking Dubliners. Dryshite just means boring.

In the final set, Wii Aran also has another piece of graffiti on the wall- it's meant to invoke spray paint but I didn't do too well here. This is far from the first time he's made a mockery of branch B's Aran and it won't be the last.

As for the plain poster- from the original, the biggest changes are the background of the portrait and his blurb. Yes I'm aware he has no ear holes I can't draw them I'm sorry.

I kinda HATE the way the background is tbh- the spo manual already makes everyone ugly as shit- there's no need to make it worse lmao.

I went with bricks spattered with dirt and blood to evoke a feeling of being in a back alley fight. My original attempt was garbage but then I found this simple brick brush that made my entire life easier.

I wanted to give him a black eye and bloody nose too but it ended up being too hard for me to figure out.

Tbh I don't like the original blurb- it feels clunky and empty all at once. I tried to go with a snappier rendition of the same main ideas while adding a bit of flair and appreciation for how he is in SPO.

The hardest bit of the whole process was probably figuring out all the strange quirks of the text. It looks good but damn is it hard to replicate.

My favorite part was playing around with all the layers and ways I could use effects- a filter or two really does a lot to add to the feeling of a poster. And for one last bit of funsies, here's the poster without any effects vs all of them. (I lost the version with highlighting on his face, whoops!)

I'm really happy with this piece and how quickly I finished it! I think it's a really good sign for my progress in digital art! If you've got questions, feel free to ask in the replies!

[aghostnamedcalamity]

Hi Calamity! Got a few questions that pertain to your awesome fanfic. Firstly, how exactly did Joey end up working with Mordecai in the first place. Secondly, how do you think Nicodeme and Serafine would react if they found out that Mordecai has a son. Thirdly, do you think you'll write anymore fanfics with Mordecai and Benjamin.

Helloo! I’m glad to hear you’ve enjoyed the fic! I do hate that it doesn’t have more of the headcanon lore explained in it, at the time it was just a fun little thing I made thinking it wouldn’t garner much attention. But to answer your questions:

1. Joey met him again while working some shifts at Marigold and sort of forced his way into an “friendship”, if you can call it that. After a raid shook him up real good, he left bartending behind but needed money and kept nagging Mordecai to let him borrow some cash. Being in debt to Mordecai, Mordecai forced him to watch Benjamin when the whole mess initially unraveled as repayment. What was supposed to be a temporary arrangement turned into a prolonged one after Mordecai got a bit attached.

2. Ooof how do I think the Savoys will react? I think there is always an air of opportunism within the business they all work in. Knowing that sensitive of information about Mordecai is certainly giving them the upper hand…but I also think they are able to draw the line at an innocent child. Perhaps pester Mordecai about this new information to get him to comply but they would never actually do anything because it’s a bebé c:

3. I have a couple of drafts I wrote last year around the same time as the posted fanfic, but I never got around the posting them. Mostly because I realize now that in my attempt to keep Mordecai in-character, I think I might have made him come off as mean and uncaring to Benjamin and that was not my intention. So while I know what my intention was, I think the audience might not interpret that so I’d love to go through it and rewrite it with my “Mordecai cares despite his sociopathy” more clear. I added a little snippet of one under the cut for you, though! Hopefully you enjoy! It’s a bit of a silly slice of life one set before the main fic when Benjamin is much younger. Sorry for any mistakes!

“Fine, Benjamin,” he said as he lifted the pillow off his face. “You can sleep here tonight. And only tonight.”

“I can sleep here?!” Ben said happily as he scrambled onto his feet. “I can stay with you?!”

“Yes,” Mordecai sighed as he slapped the side of the bed closest to Benjamin. “But you have to stay on that side of the bed.”

The child inhaled in excitement as he began to try and pull himself onto the bed. He was relatively small, even for his age, so he struggled to push himself off the floor. It didn’t help that Mordecai had a particularly tall mattress, something he’d chosen purely for comfort reasons, but made it difficult for the child to climb in by himself. For a moment, Ben hung from wads of the fitted sheet he had grasped in his paws, using his feet to try and push his upper body over the top.

Mordecai’s eyes widened when he suddenly lost sight of the child and he heard a loud thud as something hit the floor. He leaned to look over the edge of the bed and at the boy sitting on the floor again.

Ben dusted his paws together as he whispered a small ouch to himself. He looked up at Mordecai and showed him the palms of his hurt paws.

“I fell down,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Yes, I’ve discerned that much,” Mordecai replied. With a tired sigh he reached down and pulled the boy up with him, sitting him on the bed.

Another clap of thunder shook the wall behind them, accompanied by a bright flash of light that illuminated part of the room. Benjamin looked at Mordecai in horror and quickly covered his ears.

“I don’t like that!” he said with concern.

“You’re fine,” Mordecai exasperated. He pointed to the center of the design on the headboard with one of his claws. “Do you see this point here? This is the center of the bed. You need to stay on that side of it, alright? I don’t want you squirming your way onto my side. Understand?”

Benjamin nodded eagerly and patted the bed sheets beside him. “Don’t touch my side, dad!”

Mordecai frowned at the boy.

“Just lay down and go to sleep, will you?”

“But I don’t have a pillow!”

Mordecai sighed and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his paws. He used to have two pillows. But he only used one when he slept and so at some point he’d decided that keeping a single pillow in the middle of the bed felt much more beneficial to the spacial harmony of the area than two did.

“Here,” he said as he pushed his pillow to the child. He then turned onto his left side, facing away from Ben with his arms folded across himself.

“Thank you,” Benjamin told him, taking the pillow and making himself comfortable. He looked at the older feline expectantly. “Daddy, I said thank you!”

“You’re welcome.”

The boy rolled around for a couple of seconds before settling in on his back, holding his hands together on his chest. After a brief pause of silence, the young boy turned to look at Mordecai’s back.

“Dad?”

Mordecai was staring straight ahead of himself; dead, emotionless eyes looking at nothing in particular and yet somehow appearing tired and drained.

“Why must you call me that?” Mordecai asked the darkness between them. “I’ve asked you so many times not to. My name is Mordecai.”

Benjamin thought about it for a second before shaking his head. “Your name is Mord.”

“No…it’s not,” Mordecai sighed. “That’s just what Joseph calls me, for whatever reason. He can’t even be bothered to struggle through anything more than one syllable. It’s no wonder his life sporadically just falls into shambles.”

“Joey calls me Benny Boy.”

“And I don’t like that, either,” Mordecai said bitterly. “What are you, some mascot for a laundry detergent?! I detest nicknames. They’re nothing more than a reflection of laziness and lack of discipline.”

Benjamin laughed. “My name is Benjamin Heller!”

“Yes...I suppose it is.”

The rain continued to knock against the window, creating a constant, soothing rhythm in the room. Ben yawned and rubbed his eyes with small fists before once again turning to look at the older cat.

“Dad, I have to go to the bathroom.”

Mordecai rolled back over to stare at the boy with a frown.

“Then go. What are you telling me for? I don’t need to know everything that goes on in your body.”

Ben had sat up and was watching the older feline while he picked at his claws nervously.

“I’m scared…”

“I’ve already told you, you will be fine! I’m confident you can handle this.”

“I don’t want to go alone.”

“You are being immeasurably annoying right now, Benjamin,” Mordecai said, seething at the child. “You are the youngest and somehow the most domineering person in my life. Why do we always have to do what you want?!”

“You can come with me really fast!” Benjamin continued as he motioned with his hand. “It’s really fast, daddy!”

“I did not spend all that time teaching you to go to the bathroom for you to do this to me.”

“You can hold my hand and I won’t be scared, I promise.”

“Does it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to hold your hand? Go to the bathroom!”

The young kitten shriveled into himself, squeezing his legs together and holding his paws between them, grimacing as he tried to hold it in. He bounced a little on his knees and looked at Mordecai anxiously.

Mordecai very roughly slapped his paw over his own face before aggressively kicking his feet around to throw off the blanket, getting up with an angry snarl.

“Come on,” he said forcefully as he yanked the boy off the bed and unceremoniously carried him under one arm, grabbing his glasses on the way out.

He made his way down the hall and to the doorway of the bathroom, clicking the light on to illuminate the facility. Then, he plopped the boy down at the entrance and pointed sternly into the room with one paw.

“Go.”

Benjamin danced foot to foot as he hesitated to go in. He turned and grabbed Mordecai’s other paw to try and pull him into the room with him, trying to gain himself the extra security.

Mordecai shook his head furiously and yanked his hand back.

“I am not going in there with you. The absolute best I can offer you at this moment is for me to stand outside this door until you’re done and that is it. So go!”

The older cat used his paws to push the child from behind and forced him into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He sighed and leaned his back against the wall, doing as he promised and waiting until the boy was finished. Finally, the sound of the toilet flushing and running water could be heard over the patter of the rain overhead.

“I’m done!” Benjamin exclaimed as he made his way out of the room, drying his small paws against his nightshirt.

“Did you wash up exactly the way I showed you?”

The small child nodded eagerly and held his paws up for Mordecai to see.

“I washed with soap! You can smell if you want, it’s like a flower.”

“I would not like to do that, thank you,” Mordecai replied flatly as he watched the boy smell his own paws with a grimace. “Stop doing that. Now come on, I’d like to get to sleep at some point today.”

The older feline then clicked off the bathroom light and turned to start making his way back to his room. Benjamin scuttled after him, looking around himself to ensure nothing scary was following them. He held onto the fabric of Mordecai’s sleeping pants tightly, unintentionally pulling them as he struggled to keep his strides even with Mordecai’s longer legs.

The black cat noted this with displeasure, thinking perhaps the child would tear the silk of his nightwear with his claws. He was young and still not fully conscious of them it seemed, occasionally snagging soft fabrics he fiddled with. The last thing this night needed was one of his favorite pajama pants getting a rip through them.

He let out an exhausted sigh before reaching down and grabbing the arm that was clinging to him as close to the shoulder as he could, pulling him high to catch him in his other arm. Sometimes, things were not worth the confrontation. Especially when he yearned for sleep more than he desired to correct behavior in that moment.

Benjamin reveled in this decisions that seemed mostly in his favor, grinning happily at Mordecai now that he was at his same eye level.

“What’s that?” he asked Mordecai, pointing very closely at the glasses sitting on Mordecai’s nose.

Mordecai pulled his face away from the finger. “Don’t do that.”

“Okay…what is it?”

“They’re my glasses,” Mordecai said in mild annoyance. “You’ve seen them before.”

Benjamin continued to stare at them intently. “But why do you put them on your face every time?”

“Because I need them to see,” Mordecai sighed, finally arriving at the room. He let the child slide out of his arms and onto his designated side of the bed, dusting the sleeve of his nightshirt after. “I’ve had a condition called myopia since I was young. It makes it difficult for me to see certain things so I need to wear them most of the time.”

“I like them!” Benjamin said as he watched Mordecai place them on his bedside table in awe. “I wish I had one of those.”

“Well, I suppose that’s good. You’ll likely need them in a couple of years,” Mordecai said as he got into his bed, letting his entire body relax as he enveloped himself in the comfort of his linens. “Unless your eyesight takes after that woman. But it has been a fairly dominant gene in the family so far. At the very least, it’ll be interesting to see if you manage to evade what no other Heller has.”

“You’re a Heller feller!”

Mordecai looked at the boy in visible confusion, who smiled back at him as he, too, let himself fall onto his back.

“Joey said that,” the boy explained.

“Of course he did,” Mordecai said as he shook his head in disapproval. “Can you please go to sleep now? I’m tired of talking to you.”

“Okay, I will,” Benjamin responded as he burrowed himself deeper into the covers, eyes squeezing shut as he let go of a large yawn. “Goodnight…”

[koji-haru]

What gave you the inspiration to make your AU?

Short answer? I'm delusional lmao.

Honestly, I was just bored during summer and thought, "why not get back to writing again?". I wasn't actually planning on staying long, like maybe write a few chapters and then dip and maybe delete the account once I'm bored. But here I am still, lol.

For the time travel au, I answered this before in another ask, but I just made my own version of @ironbatpaperturtle's time travel au since they deactivated and I really really wanted a continuation of that au. That, and I was just reading a couple of revenge stories, and as much as I love it, I also hated it when the authors usually make the mc not go through their revenge plot - 'revenge is bad' blah blah blah and then they get the bad end of the stick even though they were the initial victim. So, if you noticed with how I wrote the first parts of the time travel au, I made Adam very adamant and determined with his goals (he still is even in the latest chapters, even though he feels less worthy of the garden now). Now, I'm not saying the way I wrote Adam makes him a 'victim', my guy didn't even bother and try to maybe be friends with both Lucifer and Lilith in his second life. He's just a hater, and yes, that's a flaw, I'm not excusing it. I mean, at the start he was just cozying up to Mike to have a backup just in case things go bad. He does soften up in later chapters though.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is that I mainly wanted a story not necessarily heavy on plot, but more so on the mc's development as a person.

For the swap au, well, I just love a good old role reversal story. It's just fun. Also, I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but *kinda spoiler-ish* the swap au is, in a way, like the opposite of the time travel au. In what way? I won't elaborate lol. But it's fun! I love creating 'foils'; either for characters, developments, themes, or even whole stories. So, I guess, in a weird egoistic way, my own time travel au inspired me to write the swap au?

Honestly, I can't really properly answer what inspired me to write my aus. At the simplest reason, I just wanted to convey a theme or a feeling. That's how I usually start writing. Maybe I listen to a song, read a poem, see a nice picture, feel something, etc. Like I could be walking and something random would inspire me and I would just quickly make a note of 'the feeling' in my phone. Like one time I was on the bus and I thought the gloomy sky with the sun behind dark grey clouds looked pretty cool at that moment. It kind of reminded me of a hole in the sky, somewhat like a portal or a signal to the world ending, so I took note of that and now I have another story in the drafts (I don't think I'll ever get to it though, with how busy I am).

Sounds really lame, but I write to make an atmosphere, I guess? I just want to capture that sensation permanently into writing; doesn't matter if it's negative or positive or neither, I want it saved forever. So anything inspires me really, from the most random tunes to the prettiest words, and then I just piece them all together. I don't really have a singular inspiration.

What keeps me writing? I'm just too stubborn to leave things unfinished. There's also the fact that I'm currently obsessed with Adam lol.

On a somewhat related note, 'Birds of a Feather' by Billie Eilish really suits the time travel au.

So... Time travel au -> a soft, blooming change from within Swap au -> more like a crashing, unwanted change Promises au -> lonely people finding comfort with each other (I was probably just feeling lonely when I thought of this au tbh)

I'm not sure I answered your question properly, but, eh I tried. Really, I'm not artsy enough to draw proper, solid inspirations, I'm just a delusional student who's heavy into STEM - so no imagination at all lol.

Did I go off topic? Yes, multiple times. Did I answer your question, anon? Most likely not, sorry.

[miss-vanta-likes-to-write]

Hi miss vanta!

I know that other anon (🍓 I think) has been requesting alot of stuff for Pink Milk, so I was just wondering if it was on the schedule to be posted soon?

Yeah it was Berry Boo.

I don't really have a set schedule for what I release, and i just be posting whatever gets done, but the deployment short for pink milk just left the planning stage.

I also have another request for pink milk that's just gonna be nothing but porn. It's so shameful what my damn search history looks like (side note there will not be any missionary or even doggy positions in that one. I had to watch so many videos), lol.

But I also take forever to find pretty pictures for the aesthetics, and I take forever to edit (I hate editing)

In no particular order of release, the drafts look like this

Loyalties (poly 141 omegaverse)

Deployment (Pink Milk)

John Baby Sits (Pink Milk ft Nikolai) (planning stage)

Soap mounts Kitty (Pink Milk)

He Canceled Hot Girl Summer 🔥 (secret baby trope with Soap)

white is for virgins (Kyle and sex worker reader pt2)

Fertility Treatment (J Price reproduction abuse/infertility fic but like it's poly 141 but this one is in production Hell. I have the post set up and Tumblr already flagged it in my drafts. Which is crazy! And I don't want my blog restricted)

Love on the Brain (also in production Hell)

The one angst fic where Kyle takes J Price's wife.

As you can see my list is long and fucking ridiculous 🫠 and i tend to bounce around through what I'm writing when the inspiration strikes and as I said before I hate editing and that's the longest part of my process lol.

But I always tag the people who ask on the initial post and I reblog the fic like 3 or 4 times throughout the first 24 hours for anyone who wants to see it and it's always under these tags

#reblog for the morning crowd

#reblog for the afternoon crowd

#reblog for the evening crowd

#reblog for the late night crowd

In case anyone wants to blacklist those tags to cut down on my reblog clutter. Oh, and same with the tag #Vanta Talks, which is just me yapping to or at people or just saying shit to say shit.

[kudouusagi]

Would you say that Bucchigiri is Utsumi's sophomore slump (coming off of SK8)? I was hoping for so much from this one, and yet it seemed like she and Taku Kishimoto were making so many wrong decisions here during its production. MAPPA's influence probably didn't help matters either.

Well, according to Utsumi from the Spoon 2.di article I read, she didn't really know what to make with this one so it was kind of a group project. She really wanted to make SK8 and she asked for pretty much all the staff that worked with her on it personally. It was very much a passion project for her.

For this one this one she said she was already making SK8 and didn't know what to make when they asked her to make another original series, so she discussed it with the producers at MAPPA and they all agreed on a yanki show, and then it took them a long time to decide on the Arabian Nights theme after that. She suggested a few different ideas and the other producers decided they liked the Arabian Nights theme best. She was assigned Kishimoto to be the writer, but she hadn't met him before. Things like that.

Here's something from the interview with Kishimoto in Spoon 2.di 107

Q: Kishimoto-san, it seems that you initially proposed a bit cooler story but Utsumi-san asked you to add some comedy to it. How did you feel when you heard that request? A: If I had to say, I've had a lot more work reorganizing and rearranging the structure of manga to adapt it into an anime. I'm not the type of person who naturally has a lot of stories and characters bubbling out of me, so when I make things I unconsciously drift toward making formulaic stories of cool heroes who always win. When I do that though, the characters I make are very stereotypical, and so when I submitted the first draft to director Utsumi and MAPPA's Otsuka-san, they said "The flow of the story is good, but the characters feel really stereotypical." It was then I was asked, "What were you like when you were Arajin's age?" I wasn't good-looking, so I figured if I just directly confessed to a girl I liked I'd be rejected, and so I thought I had to try even harder than other people. I'd give girls poems, and if that didn't work I'd carve the girl's name into a stone and give it to them, and I made it my goal in life to make that girl love me. So I told them I really couldn't be used as a reference for anything. But when I said that, they said "That's so interesting!" I felt like someone like that could never be a main character, or rather, I had ruled it out because I felt like it would be crazy to have a main character who acted like that! Since I was rejected for being so creepy in real life, after all (lol). But the two of them said it was interesting, so Arajin's weird parts became my weird parts and by adding my weird parts into him, it naturally became a comedy. So, rather than trying to write a comedy or making it become a comedy, I just added my own silly parts in order to give the character a personality, and it ended up developing into that because of the character's personality.

So the whole reason Arajin is who he is (someone everyone hates lol....) is because he's based off Kishimoto himself. I don't know what the story was like before but I really can't agree the flow of the story is good now... but yeah.... that's how we ended up here.

[joequiinn]

The Dos and Dont’s of Fake Dating - inspo guide!

When I'm working on a story, I draw on all kinds of media as inspiration. I make lists of characters' fav movies or playlists that remind me of them, etc.

These are just some things I took inspo from/relate to Dos and Don'ts! I'm taking a brief pause in writing, so hopefully these will hold us over!

@sheneedsrocknroll92 and @steeldaisies because yall showed some interest!!

Playlist

I have a lil playlist full of songs that fit this fic's vibes in some way or another. There are various genres and tones and themes, so if you aren't afraid of bouncing around between types of music, this may be a fun way to vibe with the fic!

Music

Mystery by Dio - this is 100% THEIR song, I've associated this with Eddie and ice princess since day one; it will also make an appearance in an upcoming chapter~

Just Tonight by the Pretty Reckless - this song is one I associate with a particular chapter that is drafted but not out yet, and the vibes in general really mesh with some of the themes of this fic.

Ghost, HIM/Ville Valo, & Twilight Creeps - I just listen to these artists a lot while brainstorming and writing this fic; some particular songs are on the playlist mentioned above!

David Bowie & Fleetwood Mac - sooo ice princess isn't really a music person, because I think it's a funny contrast to Eddie; however, I do think she has a few Bowie and Fleetwood vinyls/cassettes lying around that belonged to her mom, so that's the extent of her music knowledge lol

Movies

Can't Buy Me Love - originally, I wanted to write a story inspired by this movie; the setup is ridiculous and I love every minute of it, so if you want to see an early prototype Eddie x ice princess, I suggest watching this one!

10 Things I Hate About You - this was also a movie that I considered using as plot inspo; although they're not the same, I do think similarities can be found in the characters to some extent, especially Patrick = Eddie.

Heathers - the vibes and fashion speak to be, and in another world maybe Eddie and ice princess would serve up some JD and Veronica vibes~

Halloween - it hasn't come up yet in the fic, but ice princess is a closet horror movie fan whose favorite is Halloween (no it's not her fav bc it's my fav what do you mean).

Bride of Chucky - Chucky and Tiffany speak to me on a spiritual level, and I feel like Eddie x ice princess give some of these vibes??? Also RIP Eddie Munson, you would've LOVED Child's Play.

Labyrinth - I picture ice princess having a lot of similarities with Sarah, which I didn't initially notice when I was first writing. There have been many lines I've written that I can SO clearly hear in Jennifer Connelly's voice, so she's a big inspo for this fic. Also, I love Bowie

TV

That 70s Show - putting aside all the real-world controversies, I was obsessed with Jackie & Hyde when I was a kid, and I think you can clearly see a similar character dynamic with Eddie and ice princess.

Married... With Children - have yall SEEN Kelly Bundy??? enough said.

Other

Evil Ernie - maybe you've seen my other Eddie posts, but I've mentioned before that the vibes of this comic series and it's titular character remind me of Eddie, so that's all.

Flight of Icarus - yes, yes, I know that this is literally a book about Eddie, but I still think it's worth noting that I've used the book as some reference, but for the most part I haven't included it too much (I also haven't read it sorry not sorry)

[ficnowriter]

Where was I going with this? - My life story

So, found this in my drafts and fuck if I know where this was going. . .

It was in a folder called sensory prompts and lucky me, I put what the sensory prompts were at the top of the document and literally nothing else. So enjoy whatever this was hoping to be.

The vodka burns going down, more abuse on Buck’s already raw throat. He pours another shot’s worth before knocking it back, his glass giving a soft but solid ‘clink’ as it hits the bar. The bar tender, a twenty something that Buck 1.0 would have tried to steal away to the bathroom with on her break, throws him another look. She’s wary; probably already alerted the bouncer at the door to keep an ear out for trouble coming from him, but Buck doesn’t want trouble tonight. He’s not Eddie; he isn’t looking to beat his feelings out. He just wants that blissful quiet that only the bottom of a bottle will give him. Don’t think of Eddie. You don’t want to think of Eddie right now. And he doesn’t. He pours out another shot and swallows again, ignoring the burn, chasing oblivion. 

            “This seat taken?” Buck doesn’t want to see who asked the question, there’s not enough booze in him yet. “C’mon, Buck,” Eddie sighs as he slides onto the empty stool next to Buck. “What, you gonna ignore me?”

            Buck raises his fingers to get the bartenders attention. She’s taking the orders of a group of college kids and doesn’t see him. He thinks about making the scene she was preparing for, but just thinking about it exhausts him. He just wants to get blackout drunk in peace, is that really so much to ask for?

            “Maddie texted me,” Eddie continues, as though Buck had responded to his initial question. “Told me where I could probably find you. That this is where you go when you want to mope.”  He doesn’t add that she’d told him it’s where Buck goes when he doesn’t want anyone to follow him, but Buck knows. Maddie hates this place and hates that Buck finds it both useful and necessary. He needs a place where he doesn’t have to be the Buck that everyone knows as an optimist. 

            The setting is right for it; the bar, sticky with spilled alcohol from who knows how many drinks ago, the light dim, and the air smoky. It’s in a part of LA that could be considered rough, right on the boarder, where most college kids start their bar crawls so they can say they went there, that they had a drink in that place, but they’ll never go back. The ‘vibe’ is too depressing. What they mean is there are too many functional alcoholics looking to get plastered in peace. 

            Buck scoffs. “Fuck you, Eddie. M’not mopin’.” His words are slurred, but still pretty clear. He pours another shot. 

“Hey, maybe you’ve had enough of those, huh?” Eddie says, putting his hand over Buck’s on the bottle to stop the pour. He’s seen Buck’s eyes, glassy and bloodshot. It’s more than just the alcohol, but he won’t broach the subject yet. 

Buck pulls his hand back and the bottle clatters loudly on the bar top, drawing the bartenders’ eyes. She gives an assessing look, but Eddie must give some kind of reassurance back because she moves on, assured that Buck is still under control.

            “Don’ touch me, Diaz.” Eddie sighs and rubs a hand over his face; Buck isn’t sure if it’s in response to his reaction or his tone. "M’fine.”

            “Yeah, Buck, you’re real fine.” 

Buck looks at him now; turns himself on the barstool, holding on to the bar for balance. He’s drunk enough to need the support, but not drunk enough to avoid seeing the way Eddie holds himself carefully. Those bruised ribs must be hurting him something fierce. He runs his eyes over the rest of Eddie’s face, lingering on the cut over Eddie’s eyebrow and the corner of Eddie’s mouth, where blood had been collecting not three hours before. 

Just bit my tongue, Buck, it’s nothing. He can hear it clearly in his memory, the way Eddie had been short of breath, trying to gulp in the fresh air without putting pressure on his already damaged ribs. 

            “I’m fine, Buck,” the answer to Buck’s unasked question. “Chim and Hen cleaned me up. Gave me a clean bill of health.” It’s Buck’s turn to scoff. He reaches out and pushes a hand against Eddie’s torso drawing a hiss from the other man. Eddie’s hand is already on Buck’s wrist to push him away. Yeah, those ribs are fucked. He’s probably on light duty for a few weeks, Buck thinks. 

            “Yeah, okay so maybe a clean bill of health was an overestimation.” 

            Buck turns back to the bar and pours out his interrupted shot and this time Eddie doesn’t move to intercept him. Lets him take the shot, doesn’t say anything, even as Buck grimaces at the way it burns his throat. Eddie knows it has to burn, he knows how long and how loudly Buck had screamed for him after the land had shifted and buried Eddie alive. He’d seen the news coverage; had been able to hear it, even through the layers of stone and shale that had buried him in an air pocket.

            “C’mon, Buck,” Eddie tries again. “Let me give you a ride home, huh?”

            Buck’s already shaking his head. “Not yet.”

            Eddie gives him a long look. “What are you waiting for, Buck? Alcohol poisoning?”

            “Fuck no,” Buck huffs. “Jus’ waitin’ for it to stop.”

            Eddie’s frown is more confusion than anything else. “What to stop?”

            “Memr’es.” Buck pours another shot, drains it quickly. Eddie doesn’t say anything now. 

            “Buck,” Eddie sighs and this time it’s less to draw Buck’s attention, more an expression of exasperation. Buck knows he’s exhausting. He doesn’t need the reminder now. He’s getting closer to the level of drunk he’s been looking for. 

            “Ya know wha’, Diaz?” Buck starts, pushing himself to his feet, swaying only slightly. “I don’ need this.” Buck goes to take a step back, wobbles and reaches out to grip the bar while also trying to avoid Eddie’s hands reaching out to steady him.

            “Buck, you can’t drive like this.”

            Buck laughs, a low, ugly sound. “Didn’ bring the Jeep. M’not tha’ dumb.”

            “Okay,” Eddie holds his hands up, trying to keep the peace. “Let me give you a ride. Trucks parked outside, I can swing by your place on the way home.”

            Buck’s face twists in frustration or anger, Eddie can’t read his face as well in the dimness of the bar. Eddie isn’t sure what he said to draw the reaction, but he feels the uncertainty gnaw at him. Buck’s usually an open book; he doesn’t usually have to work this hard for it.

            “I said no, Eddie.” He pulls bills from his wallet to pay his tab, but now can’t get his wallet back into his pocket. “No means no.”

            Eddie gives his own humorless laugh. “Then let me at least call you an Uber. You don’t want my help, fine, but I’m making sure you get home in one piece.” He navigates to the app while Buck continues to struggle with his wallet.

            “I don’ nee’ you, Eddie.” Buck mumbles, having given up on getting the wallet back into his pocket and instead grips it tightly in his left hand.

            “Yeah?” Eddie drawls, still trying to put the information into the app while keeping Buck in his sights. “You’re drinking like there’s no tomorrow with no plan on how to get home? I beg to differ.”

            “Don’ need you, Eddie. Need to do this m’self.” Buck mumbles and Eddie pauses.

            “What do you need to do yourself, Buck?”

            “Need to pu’ m’self back together.” 

            Buck’s almost to the door now and Eddie abandons the app, surprised. 

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie presses as he pushes through bodies to keep up with Buck. “What are you talking about, ‘you need to put yourself back together?’” 

Buck is out of the door now, the bouncer giving him a wide berth. The streets of LA are still active. It’s not that late, only just going on midnight. The lights of the bar are almost brighter on the exterior of the building than the interior and cast Buck in shades of red and green that leave him looking sickly.

“Wha’ you think it means?” Buck turns to him now, a little too fast for how much he’s drunk tonight. He slaps at Eddie’s hands again as he tried to stabilize him and instead reaches for the building to hold him up. Eddie sucks in a quick, shallow breath. Moving that quickly isn’t exactly fun right now, thanks Buck.

He takes another shallow breath. “I don’t know, Buck. It’s why I asked.”

“S’gonna happen one day.” Buck pulls himself up. He looks tired. He looks fragile. “You’re go’n to leave me.” It’s a statement of fact. Not a question, not a speculation. Buck believes every word. “S’gonna happen. So, I shou’ prepare now.”

What the fuck? It’s the only thing Eddie can think. It runs on a loop through his mind. Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck? Buck takes his silence for acceptance and turns again, to continue walking God knows where. Eddie shakes it off and reaches for him again, his fingers wrapping around Buck’s wrist.

“The fuck, Buck? I’m not leaving you. I’m not going somewhere else.” 

Buck shakes his head sadly, trying to shake off Eddie’s hand on his wrist. He’s struggling to do both at the same time. “No’ always a choice,” he slurs, finally getting Eddie to release his wrist. 

Eddie gets it now. He understands what this is about: that Red’s only been in the ground a week and Eddie back on the job after the well a month; that Buck is still somewhere in his head that he’s not going to be able to pull himself out of. Why didn’t Maddie say something? It’s a thought for a moment before he turns his introspection to himself, why didn’t Isee it? And he should have. He should have guessed there was something more going on when Buck went quiet. When he wasn’t as enthusiastic about some of their stranger calls; when he hadn’t given any conspiracy theories for Eddie to give consideration, playing along for the enjoyment of the team, and Bobby or Hen to shoot down. 

Eddie jogs a few steps to catch up to Buck, regretting it immediately and moving to a fast power walk. It’s the most he can manage with his ribs.

“Buck, hold up,” Eddie calls. “Wait a minute. We need to talk about this.” 

“We don’, Eddie.” Buck slurs, stumbling over a section of uneven pavement. Eddie’s already reached out to help balance him, so it isn’t difficult to pull him to a stop.

“Buck –“

“No, Eddie. Jus’ leave me ‘lone.” 

“Can’t do that, Buck.” Eddie holds on to Buck’s wrists, thumbs rubbing nervously over the bones in his wrists. “I’m not leaving you, Buck. Not ever, if I can help it.”

Buck stiffens for a moment before he seems to deflate. Eddie can see it when he gives up. “M’tired, Eddie. M’ jus’ so tired.” 

Eddie gets it; they’ve each lost their fair share of people. Buck’s losses just don’t seem to scab over the way Eddie’s have and they always seem to cut deeper. Buck’s losses are a fresh wound that just won’t heal and the landslide earlier today is just pouring salt in the wound.

“I know, buddy.” He says, pulling Buck into a hug. Buck goes where Eddie leads him. Tucks his face into Eddie’s neck, hiding as best he can, his arms careful on Eddie’s bruised ribs. They’re going to have this conversation when Buck has sobered up and can really hear him. 

Eddie runs his hands up and down Buck’s back, steady and soothing. “Let me take you to my place. Christopher is at a sleepover and I know how excited he’ll be to see you in the morning.” He doesn’t hear a response if Buck gives one, but he can feel Buck nod against his shoulder.