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shuenkio · 2 months

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Dirty Boy | ▹ Lhs

▹Paring: Heeseung X male!reader. ▹Genre: soft smau.

▹Cw: mentioned masturbate, cum, dirty, cursing, public masterbation.

▹Synopsis: Your buddy wants your help.

▹Non proof read|▹wc:1.6k

▹Eng is not my 1st lang | do not copy.

▹Aln: I'm still improve how to write a good SMAU one, so I'm making a way to make it please don't expect too much :').

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Been a buddy for life ever since you were young together with Evan Lee or Ethan Lee. That's what everyone called him.

Whenever there's a party or hangout, even if it's not related to you, he'll still ask you to invite him just so you can socialize and accompany him. He just loves to awkward you with the outside environment.

Later on, coincidentally, both of you and Hee got into the same college with the same major and the same dorm. And you were glad that you didn't have to live with the new face because you were an anti-social human. To your surprise, the Heeseung you've seen every day was the half-surface of him from his inside.

He was actually the most unpredictable man you've ever met after living with him for a few months. You thought man would always be man, even though you are also a man, but politely dirty. For Evan? He was two times worse.

There was a time you saw his stained underwear splattered all over the floor, his sweaty shirts, and his unwashed pants, just like teenage kids. No matter how hard you've tried to scold him or tell him those, he was free to care about your words. Laterally, water spilled on a duck's head.

Not long after, this is getting worse. You have known that Heeseung was a gamer addicted and would play in front of the computer screen for hours; however, instead of playing games, sometimes you hear a moaning, whimpering noise echoing through the ceiling from his room to the kitchen. And it's none other than his alone time, masturbate.

It's not like you were disgusting, yet it's just bad timing whenever he faps his meat. Your mom was face-timing you while you were cutting the vegetable for lunch, but the huffing sound was so loud that your mom got suspicious of you, and in return, you had to end the call in a sec. That's one of the memories you still left traumatized.

For now, you've made up your mind to have a conversation with the growth-ass man, Heeseung. Once you finished your work, you quickly dragged your feet to his room before knocking, in case you interrupted him again.

You enter the room, and while he was sitting back facing you, both of his hands were placed on the mouse and keyboard, as his ear was covered with a headphone, blocking all the noise.

"Hey EVAN!" You yelled, holding your waist as your blood boiled in response to the silent response.

"..." Unable to wait any longer, you take off his headphones suddenly before you unplug the computer. The moment you did that, you've now gotten all the attention from him.

"M/N, what's your problem? I'm in the middle of the game." He fired out as he spoke, almost shouting at your unexpected move.

"We need to talk!" You reply back with the seriousness in your expression, which calms the nerves in the Heeseung vein in a blink of an eye.

"Talk about what?" Exhale the deep breath out as he lay on his palm on the table, still holding on to his non-care attitude.

"I need you to change your childish behavior, Evan! Not only did you pressure me, but the whole damn dorm started to smell like you." You spoke, and as a result, you got an eyebrow raise from him.

"I live here."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINTS—ok, let's say this, you're dirty!" You implied honesty; speak out what's on your mind. Straightforward to the point this time, as he was a little taken aback by your comment.

"You never wash your laundry, your clothes, especially your damn underwear? Are you even an adult at this point? I'm telling this because it's for your own good." You scolding, all the bad things he had done that drove you nuts, but they're still in the basket. Heeseung seemed to be quite after these; his gaze didn't even focus on you, lingering on the shorts you were wearing, probably daydreaming about something you clearly couldn't imagine.

"HEY HEY! Are you even listening? At least be guilty for your action."

"I don't know, but that short look better be off; it's distracting."

"You pervert, STFU, what got into you, ugh?"

////

A week had passed, and Heeseung started to change because of your nagging all day. And it turned out pretty well. He then began to wash his clothes, do the housework, clean his room, and do many other things. It's brought a smile to your face to see him being a good friend or human for once, maybe.

Today at the weekend, since your groceries have been out ever since yesterday, you suggest Heeseung come with you for shopping, which he can't decline.

All he did was carry the groceries and nothing else, while you were having a hard time choosing the food that both of you needed and wanted to eat for a week.

Finally, you're done with the shopping. After you finish paying for the items, you feel like you want to go to the restroom.

You then told Heeseung about it; if it's happened, he'd be looking for you or waiting for you because of you. Nevertheless, he also wanted to go to the restroom, which made it awkward.

In the bathroom.

Making your way into the room, you couldn't wait to unleash your pee, which you've been urging to release into the urinal toilet. You believe that Heeseung will give you privacy; he will pee across from you, although the next thing you know, he is seen beside you.

"Oh, for god's sake, do you not feel ashamed or embarrassed? I'm peeing!!" You claim, almost irritated by his unpredictable action, did he want to show his dick or what?

"We're friends; there's nothing to hide anyway, even this!" Heeseung responded by stepping back a little so you can see his full aroused cock, spring-free from his underwear. And it was... Dripping—

"What in the actual hell?" You are speechless at what you encounter. Is that your friend's cock? In front of you? In a public space like this? No fucking way.

The size of his full, hard cock painted a messy red blush stain on your face. His balls were round and stretched with those little hairs. Meanwhile, his mid-size cock was uncut, and the ash pink head is pecking from the foreskins, and it's twitching from your point of view. Kinda smells (all men smell from their hormones).

Fail to make any word out of your mouth, you look around before looking at his face in disbelief. Why did he blush? His eyes were half-lidded. As if he were holding on to something.

"Are you out of your mind, Evan?" We're in public!! Not at home." You quickly look away, pin both of your visions to the entrance, having an anxiety that someone could come in, misunderstood to this.

"M/n... Could you spare me a hand? I can't go out like this." He covered his eyes; his tone was almost desperate because he couldn't take any longer to pleasuring.

"Why can't you?"

"I would, but I want your hand instead," he finally stated, thirsting for your touch because touching yourself is not enough. You need somebody's help; it's better.

I couldn't even leave any comments. Someone is coming in as you harshly push him into the bathroom stall, with you inside too. With the rush decision, now you're stuck with him, with his distracted cock, jiggling non-stop.

People come in to do their business in the bathroom. It's normal for people to pee and poop, isn't it? On the other hand, the heat started to drive Heeseung nuts since his cocks often rub on your clothes because of how close you are to him, fearing someone might see you two inside.

The idiot heeseung he is, and the pleasure he's holding in can't be left inactive. Heeseung is then making an unacceptable dare for you in a situation like this.

If you don't jerk him off, he will moan loudly in this tight stall. You were furious at his dare as you glared at him with your piercing eye that was about to fall out.

Though it's the only choice right now, to prevent him from doing the nasty shit that could lead to misunderstood.

Biting the lower lip, you hurry take out Heeseung's cock out of his underwear, fully free to get more access.

Without further ado, you began your ritual. Taking a hold of his testicles before you spit your Silva on them, you started giving him the hand job without any warning.

The most sensitive part of man was the tip. As an experienced person, you focus on around the tip of his so he would cum faster.

The speed of your hand makes Heeseung thrust out his hip while his hands are holding on to the walls. The pleasuring almost left gasps out of his throat. His toes are curling together at the sensation of your touch.

"Right there, m/n, give it... *huff* your all, Ngh." Fap fap, the wet sounds are also making you slightly horny. Sliding up and down nonstop, holding his cock just like your own, You then increase the speed and continue to jerk him until the end.

To the point where he bit his sleeve because of the overwhelming sensation he is experiencing right now.

"Too good, I'm cumming!! Holy fuck" as you masturbate till he feels the orgasm in his cock is building, at the same time with the magic hand of yours, making him squeak. Shooting out the sticky, wet cum, stained all over your palm.

"Er—sss, I feel numb. You're too good. M/N, I'm ascending." He said it with his shallow breath, still catching on to it as he laid his head against the wall behind, closing his eyes, drained out already.

"This is unbelievable, damn it." You stared at the orgasms, that dripping on your hand as you disgusted at them. But at least he doesn't have any crazy ideas this time. This was enough to traumatize you once again.

And that's your friend, Heeseung.

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🗣️ Please mind my English! ><

🗣️Crd to all pics&dividers

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phoward89 · 8 months

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Banner by me. Dividers by @saradika

Summary: When Coriolanus signs you out of the hospital to bring you to his Corso penthouse, you see a glimpse of his dark side. Will that glimpse make you run away from him or to him?

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Coriolanus Snow is his own warning! Possessive!Coriolanus, Obsessive!Coriolanus, DelusionalCoriolanus, Dark!Coriolanus, Soft Dark!Coriolanus?, Head Gamemaker!Coriolanus, Mentions of death, Mentions of planning murder, Mentions of cheating/infidelity (not on reader), Mentions of poison, Large age gap/difference (Coriolanus is 33 while reader is 18), Manipulation, Groping, Slapping, um...trying to think of anything else.

Here's the 2nd part of Forever & Ever, My Darling Rose. I gave the Reader a last name, Halvir, in this just to make some scenarios etc a bit easier to write. But the Readers first name is up to you lovely and wonderful readers to come up with.

Story Masterlist

Chapter 2:

Coriolanus marched towards the nurses’ station with a haughty airs to him. He gave off an entitled, but dangerous aurora that had the nurses shaking in their white nursing hats. He'd threatened to kill every single one of their loved ones (friends, family, pets, estranged family, etc) if something happened to you and the nurses were terrified that he'd make good on that promise. Considering you went out of your mind with a nightmare and cornered yourself into your room, resulting in him being called there to calm you down, the nurses were fearful.

The nurses quickly grabbed their charts and scurried off, excuses that they had to check on patients echoed into the air, as the head gamemaker got closer to the front desk. Patients that are most likely asleep since it was nearly 3 in the morning. Yes, the nurses left their charge nurse behind to deal with the wrath of Coriolanus Snow. The nurse assigned to you was the first to bolt.

“I'm signing Y/N Halvir out since your staff is too incompetent to properly care for a victor.” Coriolanus firminly told the charge nurse as he came to a stop right at the desk she was sitting behind, all by herself since the staff abandoned her to face a fate worse than death alone.

The charge nurse refused to meet Coriolanus’ eye while tentatively informing him, “Head Gamemaker Snow, sir, it's ill advised to sign her out. She hasn't been checked by a doctor and she seems to be dealing with some post traumatic stress.”

Wrong Answer. Coriolanus was outraged that some old nurse had the gall to tell him that he couldn't do what he felt best for his, HIS, darling rose. What did that old hag know? If it wasn't for her calling him, you would've hyperventilated and passed out from sheer fear in the corner of your room.

A private room that he was footing the bill for, by the way.

Well, looks like he'll just have to make the charge nurse’s loved ones disappear for her lack of skills tending to you. He'll also find out who was your assigned nurse, make that useless twit disappear along with her loved ones. Well, the Citadel could always use some more lab rats to conduct mutt experiments on.

“It may be ill advised, but I assure you that I am signing Y/N Halvir out of this hospital and taking her with me, where she'll be properly cared for.” He calmly told the nurse as his cold blue eyes cut her down. Leaning down over the desk, causing him to be face to face with the old nurse, Coriolanus hissed, “Your insubordination has won your son, a doctor, and his family a transfer to District 6. Seems like the hospitals there are in need of more doctors due to the rise in morphling addiction amongst the district citizens. It's such a shame that both of your grandchildren, a boy and a girl, will now be eligible for the Hunger Games as District 6 citizens.”

The charge nurse shook with fear as she pleaded, “Please, Head Gamemaker Snow, don't do that. Please, don't be so harsh.” Quickly, she worked on her computer while adding in, “I'm printing out the discharge paperwork now, just don't send my family away to District 6.”

Coriolanus just stood up straight, his full height of 6’0 towering over the charge nurse as she sat at the desk, typing and clicking away at the computer. He didn't say a word to her, just stared her down with cold, dead, blue eyes.

The charge nurse swallowed down a sick feeling that was welling up while rising from her seat to scurry over to the printer. She silently prayed to the printer, which was growling louder than a feral animal, to hurry up and spit out the paperwork for your discharge.

Coriolanus grew bored waiting for the necessary paperwork for your release. So bored that he was tapping his shiny black shoes against the linoleum floor.

Click, click, click. Click, click, click. Click, click, click. Click, click, click. Click, click-

“Here’s that paperwork for you to sign.” The charge nurse told Coriolanus while hurrying over to him. Quickly she placed the paperwork on the desk before grabbing a pen from the cup on top of the desk. “And here's a pen, sir.” She practically threw the pen at him.

“Thank you, but your family's still headed to 6.” He simply said while signing and initialing the stack of paperwork he was given. It seemed a bit of an overkill in his opinion.

The nurse turned as white as a sheet upon hearing Coriolanus’ words, but she didn't dare try to fight him on it. Her family's fate was sealed by the sadistic head gamemaker, a man whose temperament was worse than his father, the late General Crassus Snow.

Once Coriolanus was finished with your paperwork, he left the front desk without so much as a thank you or a goodnight to the nurse, and returned to your room. You were sitting on the bed watching some late night rerun on Capitol tv whenever he entered your room. Looking between you and the tv, he chuckled, “You like the god awful cooking show where the chef curses out his potential staff?”

“We only get 3 channels on our tv back home in District 12 and this is one of the channels.” You explained to him while he made his way further into the room. Truthfully, you were lucky to even have a tv since you lived in the Seam. Your brother Rein and his girlfriend, Ashlie, had scrimped and saved for years to be able to buy the thing. It was small and second hand; only picked up 3 channels. The Capitol News, Capitol Movie Classics, and Capitol Channel 3. You wished there were more channels, but you were grateful for the ones you had. Most people in the Seam didn't even have that. You know that your neighbor, Corbin, and his Auntie (a mining widow) didn't even have a tv.

As Coriolanus placed your paperwork down on your side table, you stared right at the tv (as the top chef called one of his potential staff a stupid fucking donkey for burning a risotto) and honestly revealed, “Plus watching all of these chefs get cursed out and treated horribly by their potential boss reminds me that somebody out there has it worse than me. Even though I live in the Seam with my coal miner brother and his girlfriend, who's a local barmaid at the hob, nobody's ever treated me as horribly and rudely as that award winning chef treats the people competing on his show for a job in his restaurant.”

“Hmmm…” Coriolanus hummed. Standing by your side, he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear while asking, “And what of your mother?”

“I haven't seen her since she ran off when I was 5 and Rein was 15.” You flatly remarked.

“I see.” The platinum blonde man nodded. He felt rage boil in his cold, icy veins. How could somebody leave you as a child? You were so perfect, so innocent. You didn't deserve to be willingly abandoned by your mother. Oh, if he ever got a hold of that useless bitch she was dead. He'd make sure that she died a torturous death too.

“You signed me out AMA?” You asked, glancing over the form that was on your side table

“Yes, I signed you out against medical advice because the staff here is doing you, my darling rose, more harm then good. They're too incompetent to care for my Victor and you, Y/N, deserve nothing but the best care.” Moving to the wardrobe in the corner of the room, he told you, “I had your reaping dress cleaned and brought here for you when you were admitted. I thought you'd feel more comfortable in that than your uniform from the arena.”

“Thank you, Head Gam-Coriolanus. I appreciate it.” You thanked him, a bit nervous about what name to call him. In the end you decided to just call him Coriolanus, but it still felt heavy and wrong on your tongue.

“Please, just call me Coryo.” He countered while crossing the room with your simple cotton floral dress in hand. “Now let's get you out of your hospital gown and into your pretty dress so we can go home.” He suggested while coming to a stop right at your bedside.

Instead of standing and stripping naked like Coriolanus thought you'd do, you arched a brow at him instead only to ask, “Home? But I thought you were taking me to a penthouse here in the Capitol?”

“I am taking you to the Corso penthouse which is now your new home, my darling rose.” He slowly explained to you, as if you were a small child, while placing your dress down on the bed. Shaking his head, he grabbed your upper arm and pulled you to stand up.

“What the hell are you doing, Coriolanus?!” You shrieked, pulling away from him as he started to untie your hospital gown.

Grabbing you roughly by the upper arms and turning you to look at him, he stared down at you with cold, icy eyes. “I'm tired and want to go home and get some sleep. You will be a good girl and let me help you change.”

You tried to break his hold while assuring him, “I can get changed myself. You can go wait in the hall, Coriolanus.”

“No, my darling rose, you can't. Now, be a good girl and let me help you so we can get out of here.” He told you in a tone that was sickeningly sweet.

“Corio-” You began to protest, only for him to slap you across the face.

Tears welled up in your eyes as your hand automatically flew up to cradle your stinging cheek.

“I told you to be a good girl and let me help you, Y/N.” He sighed.

“You hit me…” You trailed off in shock as tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Oh, my darling rose, I didn't mean to hurt you.” The pretty platinum blonde man cooed while prying your hand away from the cheek that he’d struck in his frustrated anger. His blue eyes raked over your cheek, which was raw and red from the slap. Seeing your tears rolling hotly down your cheeks turned him on, as horrible as that sounded. Brushing his knuckles along your puffy cheekbone, that would surely bruise within an hour or so, he softly said, “I don't like brats and backtalk, Y/N. If only you were a good girl then I wouldn't have slapped you.”

His words left your mind going a mile a minute. So, wait, it was your fault he slapped you? All because you didn't want his help changing? That didn't make sense. Should it make sense?

You were drawn out of your mental musings whenever you felt Coriolanus’ tongue lap up the tears along your cheek. Your breath hitched at the action. Your felt a tightness in your chest and a fluttering in your lower belly as he tilted your face to lick the tears of your untouched cheek.

As his tongue traced your cheekbone, lapping up the salty tear stains on your skin, you felt a tingle in your core. Oh no. You can't have this reaction to him. It's wrong; he’s a married man and older than you. Hell, he's even older than your older brother.

Even though you knew being turned on by him was wrong, it didn't stop you from rubbing your thighs together.

When he pulled away from you, he gave you a lined smile and suggested, “Now that we have an understanding, let's get you in your pretty dress so we can go home.”

Your head was fuzzy with want and you had a slight ache in between your legs, so you were in no shape to protest or fight back. “Okay.” Your breath was shaky as you nodded. “Okay.”

“Seems like I have quite the effect on you, my darling rose.” Coriolanus smirked as his nose ran along your jawline. Your heartbeat was beating quickly, perhaps too quickly, while you felt heat pool in between your legs. Oh god, you've never felt like this before (yea, you've been turned on before, but not to the point where you felt uncomfortable and wanted to rip your hair out) and it both startled and excited you.

He licked the shell of your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine. “I must confess, Y/N, that you also have quite the effect on me.” He whispered into your ear before pulling away and leaving you to stare up at him with shock all over your face. “Don't look so shocked, my darling. You’re very beautiful and you're resilient; a victor.”

Turning you around, he gently untied your hospital gown as if he was untying the bows to his favorite piece of lingerie. When he was done, he spun you around, nearly knocking you off balance and slid the gown off your shoulders. Your eyes darted to the floor as your breasts were exposed to him. You felt so small under his gaze and towering form as he slid the gown the rest of the way off you.

“You have such nice tits.” Coriolanus smiled in awe, lust shining in his eyes, as he began to palm your nice tits.

“Coriolanus-” You started, only for him to cut you off with the request of, “Coryo, call me Coryo.”, as he began to run his thumbs over your nipples while cupping your tits in his large, calloused hands.

“Coryo, we can't do this here. We're in my hospital room.” You told him despite his actions causing you to get even wetter then you already were between your legs.

“It's a private room, my darling rose. I paid enough for it, so I don't see the harm in us getting my money's worth.”

What the hell did he mean by that? Did he seriously want to mess around in your hospital room? Oh no. No, no, no. No. You're drawing that line at that.

Your hands wrapped around his wrist as you told him, “I just want to get out of here, Coryo. You promised to take me home, remember?”

You prayed that your words knocked some sense into him because you didn't want your first time doing sexual things to be in a hospital room, where a nurse could walk in at any time, with him (he was a married man for God's sakes!).

His demeanor deflated and he sighed, “Yes, my darling rose, I did promise you that didn't I?”, while pulling away from you. He grabbed your dress from the bed and motioned for you to lift up your hands.

“What about my underwear?” You asked, feeling a bit exposed as Coryo looked you up and down with a hungry glint in his eye. It was as if he was a starving man and you were a juicy steak ready to eat.

“You don't need them, darling. Once we get to our penthouse you'll be changing into a shirt to sleep in anyways.” He explained while motioning, once again, for you to lift your arms. This time you obeyed him and he pulled your best floral dress over your head. He smoothed it out, only to press a kiss to your forehead and smile. “You're all ready to go, my Victor.”

The car ride to the luxury penthouse seemed to take ages. You were alone with Coriolanus since he was driving and it made you feel a bit uncomfortable. After what happened in your hospital room (him stripping you and groping your boobs) you didn't think it was a good idea to be alone with him. He was married and you didn't want to lose your innocence, all of your firsts, your virginity to a man that would never be yours no matter the chemistry or effect you had on each other.

You were staring aimlessly out the window when Coryo startled you by placing a hand on your thigh. You didn't say a word, just sighed uncomfortably.

Looking over at you with a worried expression, Coriolanus asked, “What's wrong, Y/N? You seem troubled.”

Pulling your eyes off the window, you snapped your head to look at the platinum blonde in the driver's seat and honestly told him how you felt. “You shouldn't be resting your hand on my thigh, Coryo. You’re married.”

The gold ring on his finger mocked him as it shines against the red and cream floral fabric of your dress. He never had anyone turn him down because of that thin gold band he was branded with by saying ‘I do’ to Livia Cardew, well that is until now. Coriolanus knew that you were young and innocent from District 12 so the thought of being a mistress would horrify you. He knew that he had to ease your worries, so he simply told you, “Don't worry about my wife, darling. I’m taking care of everything; she won't be my wife much longer.”

“I wasn't aware ya’ll were having marriage problems. The Capitol gossip rags make it seem like the marriage is a happy one.”

“Things aren't always as they seem here in the Capitol, my darling rose.” He told you before correcting your grammar with a stern, “And it's I wasn't aware that you were having marital problems.” Patting you on the thigh as he switched lanes, he explained, “You're not in District 12 anymore and since you'll be staying here in the Capitol for a while it's best that you learn how to speak properly; like a Capitol citizen.”

You didn't say a word, just numbly nodded. You never thought that staying in the Capitol while Victor’s Village and your house was constructed meant changing how you talked. You never thought you talked strange, well until now. “Do I sound weird when I talk, Coryo?” You asked, staring at the side of his face as he drove.

“No.” He shook his head. “We just need to work on some small grammar errors here and there, but no, darling, you sound just fine when you talk.”

“Oh…” You trailed off, turning your attention back to looking out your window.

He gave your thigh a gentle squeeze, “You're a rose that just needs some extra pruning and tender care, but fortunately for you I'm an excellent gardener that favors white roses.” His thumb grazed your thigh as he explained, “White roses are the perfect symbol of purity and perfection.” As he pulled up to a large building, his baritone heavily hung in the air with the meaningful words of, “Unblemished; untouched, just like you, my darling rose.”

But how long would you be Unblemished and untouched? Would he take your innocence as soon as you entered the penthouse or would he wait until he was free from his wife? The bigger question was did you even want him to take your innocence? To give you all of your first experiences with a man? Now that was the million dollar question you didn't have an answer for. Or maybe you did, but didn't want to acknowledge it.

AN: Did anyone catch the tv show easter egg I threw in there?

Tags: @kuroosbby001 , @purriteen , @poppyflower-22 , @meetmeatyourworst , @whipwhoops , @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi, @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri

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les4elliewilliams · 8 months

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Ellie is away... // e.w

chapter 1 – 2002, Senior year High school

a/n: helooo:)) okay so this is my first series and first time actually writing something, i'm aware its not the best but its just for fun so idrc. im new to tumblr and i'm still trying to figure everything out so, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. this is based off the game emily's away. also i know youtube wasn't really a thing back in 2002 but for my own sake, please, lets pretend it was. wc/cw: 1.6k. swearing, mention of drugs (just ellie saying she wants to get high) loser!ellie(??) don't know but anyways they're both simps but too scared to make a move on each other. no smut but still MDNI.

summary: a time before skype and facebook, windows xp just came out and Windows Messenger was the thing of the moment. you just got a new computer to chat with your friends

➥ part two

since windows xp came out everyone's been talking about this new instant message thing that lets you chat with your friends, everyone had it, your friends, your whole school had made an account on it, hell even your teachers used it, everyone except you and that was because you didn't even own a computer in the first place. you've begged and begged your parents until they got you one, you didn't care what kind of computer it was, even the cheapest and the shittiest worked for you as long as you could chat with your friends it was safe to say that they bullied you into getting one you made an account and signed in, typing in the search bar their weird usernames to add them to your 'friends list'. you made sure to write all their usernames down on a piece of paper before you rushed home, Ellie even had to explain to you how to do it. you picked a random icon for your profile and tried your best to pick a not so stupid and childish username who thought that picking a username for your account would be so hard? shit, you swore you probably spent more time picking a user than on your math problems and you weren't even that good in math.

you made sure to include your name in it so that your friends would recognize you and not freak out when they saw a friend request from a certain somebody

dinathedrummer ⇨ friend request sent.

jessescool ⇨ friend request sent.

brickmaster ⇨ friend request sent.

now you just had to wait until they accepted your request. meanwhile you just navigated on the internet, trying to learn a thing or two about your new computer, it was so odd but addictive.

you nearly jump when you hear a sound coming from your computer and something popping up in the right corner of your screen

brickmaster has accepted your friend request!

you eagerly click on it and it immediately leads you to the chat, your fingers aggressively hitting the keycaps almost too enthusiastic to chat with your friend Ellie (as if you don't see her daily)

brickmaster has signed in.

ynshere: Ellll!!! hiii

brickmaster: aboutt freaking time ynshere: right ynshere: but hey ynshere: better later than never, right?

brickmaster: yeah yeah brickmaster: nice icon by the way brickmaster: so, whats up??

ynshere: nothing really, just talking to you ynshere: what are you up to?

brickmaster: nothin, just listening to music :)

ynshere: ew what's that

brickmaster: rude brickmaster: it's called smiley face brickmaster: i really gotta teach you everything don't i?

ynshere: shut up ynshere: i know what it's called, i'm not stupid

brickmaster: you sure about that?

ynshere: positive :P

brickmaster: ooooh brickmaster: look at yn go

ynshere: shut it ynshere: so what are you listening to? ynshere: your depressing music again?

brickmaster: you're one to talk brickmaster: my grandma got the same music taste as you brickmaster: even Joel got better taste than you

ynshere: okay and

brickmaster: and you'd be nothing without me brickmaster: let me educate you brickmaster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vabnZ9-ex7o

ynshere: not bad

brickmaster: told you brickmaster: it's one of my favorite

ynshere: not that good either

brickmaster: now you're just being delusional brickmaster: remind me why we're friends again

ynshere: because i'm great and you love me

brickmaster: don't know about that

ynshere: and because i let you copy my homework every single day

brickmaster: yep, that's the one

ynshere: i hate you Williams

brickmaster: sorry can't hear you over my depressing music

ynshere: i hope Joel takes your computer away again

brickmaster: oh hell no brickmaster: it took me 2 weeks to get it back brickmaster: you have no idea of what i had to do to get it back

ynshere: lmao now i really wanna know

brickmaster: had to spend time with him hiking and watching action movies with him brickmaster: i even had to help out the neighbor, take care of his garden and all that shit, even take care of his goddamn dog (nothing against the pup he was such a good boy) but still brickmaster: he's so against technology he really expects us to live like dinosaurs and those primitive dudes

ynshere: lol yeah my mum's the same way ynshere: are you going to Jesse's party tonight?

brickmaster: of course i'm going brickmaster: his parties are always fun brickmaster: and i really wanna get high tonight brickmaster: are you?

ynshere: well if you’re going i am too ynshere: it’s crazy we’re already having end of school parties

brickmaster: dude brickmaster: can't wait for highschool to be over

ynshere: ahh same here ynshere: i'm so over this school

brickmaster: yeah same brickmaster: you know Cat from our math class? brickmaster: she won’t stop messaging me brickmaster: we've been messaging for days

ynshere: what does she want?

brickmaster: nothin she just wants to talk brickmaster: she said she thinks i'm cool brickmaster: like i don't know that already

ynshere: you're so damn cocky ynshere: you ain't even cool

brickmaster: what? brickmaster: jealous?

ynshere: of what? ynshere: there's nothing to be jealous of

brickmaster: cause i'm the coolest and you're just a loser

ynshere: yeah yeah keep talking ynshere: so you like like her?

brickmaster: she's pretty and all but i don't know brickmaster: too clingy

ynshere: wait ynshere: is it THAT Cat ynshere: the girl with the tattoo?

brickmaster: yep brickmaster: the one Dina hates

ynshere: oh yeah ynshere: don't like her either

brickmaster: now you're just being mean

ynshere: bitch you're the first who called her clingy

brickmaster: i was describing her

ynshere: and i was just telling you how i feel about her

brickmaster: uh oh someone’s mad

ynshere: you're making me regret getting a computer in the first place

brickmaster: i'm kidding i'm kidding brickmaster: you're just so easy to mess with

ynshere: uh huh ynshere: fuckk just one more month to graduation brickmaster: man don't remind me brickmaster: we're getting old brickmaster: did you pick a school yet?

ynshere: didn’t get accepted into my reach school :( ynshere: so i'm just going to one of the others ynshere: i don't mind though, anything’s better than high school. where are you gonna go?

brickmaster: aw man i'm sorry, i remember you telling me how bad you wanted to get into that school brickmaster: going to art school :)

ynshere: yeah makes sense ynshere: you always liked drawing after all ynshere: and you're also very talented

brickmaster: thank you brickmaster: took me some time to convince Joel but eventually he gave in ynshere: i'm glad he did ynshere: would've been a waste of talent ynshere: i still have the drawing you made for me two years ago :) brickmaster: lol really?? brickmaster: i wasn't even that good back then but i got better

ynshere: dude you joking right ynshere: it's literally so accurate and you even managed to make me look pretty

brickmaster: lol i'm serious brickmaster: i can do so much better now brickmaster: maybe i should draw you again sometime

ynshere: i mean i am an excellent muse so why not

brickmaster: totally brickmaster: can't believe you kept it

ynshere: of course i did, it's so pretty ynshere: no one has ever made me a drawing before lol

brickmaster: glad to be your first ;)

ynshere: god that thing is horrendous

brickmaster: you literally used it a few minutes ago

ynshere: maybe Joel was right ynshere: technology really is bad for you ynshere: are you starting to see things, Williams?

brickmaster: oh please brickmaster: this is why no one likes you

ynshere: seriously though ynshere: you promise to be there for me even if we won't see each other everyday? ynshere: you're my best friend i don't wanna lose you :(

brickmaster: shut up you're literally one of my best friends brickmaster: nothing could ever keep me from talking to you brickmaster: who’s gonna annoy you when i leavee

ynshere: right ynshere: i’d be miserable without you ynshere: asshole

brickmaster: here we go with the pet names again brickmaster: stop flirting its working on me

ynshere: see what i mean ynshere: i could never go without all this ynshere: you're like one of the few people who made high school tolerable

brickmaster: same goes for you stupid brickmaster: you made it fun

ynshere: i know ynshere: who's miserable without me now?

brickmaster: shut up you dork brickmaster: Dina’s coming over in a few so we can head to the party together

ynshere: alright so i'll see you two there?

brickmaster: yep i'll see you there brickmaster: think Cat is gonna be there too? brickmaster: what if she wants to hang out with us

ynshere: don't know El ynshere: she’ll definitely be there ynshere: you don't want her around?

brickmaster: i mean, i don't know brickmaster: i don't wanna be a prick

ynshere: you are a prick ynshere: just tell her you're not interested

brickmaster: yeah i think i will brickmaster: or i could just avoid her, she’ll get the hint, right?

ynshere: or you could just tell her ynshere: why so scared?

brickmaster: i just don't wanna be mean and hurt her i guess brickmaster: but it's whatever. i'll tell her i don't like her that way brickmaster: it's better than leading her on

ynshere: mhm ynshere: look at you being mature

brickmaster: shut up brickmaster: shit, Dina’s here brickmaster: see you soon?

ynshere: see you soon ;)

brickmaster: oh look you just did it again

ynshere is away. brickmaster: of course you'd do that. brickmaster is away.

¡! daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist・more daily clicks. ¡!

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hermetiqa · 2 months

Text

How can you improve as a person?

Content Warning: this reading mentions abuse and obsessive behaviors. Please don't continue if you think you might get triggered.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS

TIP JAR

FEEDBACK

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my asks about the reading! I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to save money for my tuition fee this year.

Pile 1

Hello there, Pile 1! There's a lot of energy from you here. In order for you to improve as a person, you need to know who you truly are. Because I feel like if someone asks you some questions to get to know you, you tend to think about it first because you don't really know the answer. What are your hobbies? What's your favorite color? What's your favorite number? What kind of things makes you happy? I feel like in these questions, you tend not to have a direct answer. And that's something you need to improve in yourself. You have to get to know yourself more and stop spending most of your time with other people. Take a break from helping them from time to time because they're taking advantage of you and your kindness. I'm getting some people pleaser energy. You have to learn to say no. You have to understand that when someone doesn't like you, that doesn't mean you're a bad person, nor does it mean that they're a bad person. Not everyone has to like you, and you should learn that and apply it to yourself. Get to know yourself better, spend more time with yourself. And stop depending on what others think of you.

Pile 2

Hello, Pile 2! I'm also getting a lot of energy from you here, but this is more like an energy that needs healing. That said, you can improve as a person by healing. I feel like you have a lot of unhealed wounds, especially from childhood. I feel like you grew up in an abusive household, whether physically, emotionally or mentally abusive. Whenever someone disagrees with your opinion or tells you that you did something wrong, you tend to be defensive even if they meant no harm towards you. I can see that you're distant from other people, even your friends, because you tend to overthink that you'll disappoint them one day and you'll only get hurt if you ever get close or attached to them. You're scared of change, and this is something you need to improve. You need to heal from your wounds because your unhealed wounds are what could cause you to be a toxic or an unhealthy person or even have a negative energy at times. You need to recognize your growth and appreciate yourself from time to time. Learn to love yourself. You also need to realize that just because you got triggered at certain times and situations doesn't mean you'll never heal from it. That simply means that you're still healing from it. And healing takes time. Don't rush it. It doesn't happen overnight.

Pile 3

Hello, Pile 3! Among these three readings, your reading is the one that has the strongest energy. I'm getting that you're struggling a lot, mentally and emotionally. It's like you tend to get affected by things that are conventionally simple (e.g. getting good grades)(I'm unsure if this is the correct term). And whenever you have to deal with this, you tend to lean towards your addictions and obsessive behaviors such as getting drunk, smoking at least 5 sticks a day, staying up until 6AM, not eating on time, and using your computer a lot, especially to play video games. I can see that this is your way of coping with your inner struggles because you could have a low self-esteem and you're pressured by other people around you. You tend to compare yourself to other people a lot too and you feel bad and pity yourself whenever you realize that they're better than you, in your opinion at least. You need to improve this. Just like Pile 2, you need to love yourself. You might not be a people pleaser but you tend to shut other people out before they even get to know you because you think they're better off without you. You need to improve your self-esteem. You need to trust in yourself and believe that you matter too. You have to give yourself the stability within yourself. Love yourself. Change your bad habits. It doesn't happen in a blink of an eye, so take one step at a time. Change it little by little and don't rush yourself. Engage in healthy habits and be productive because this way, you'll be able to actually love yourself, appreciate yourself and realize that you matter just as much as any other person on this planet.

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starlightazriel · 3 months

Text

bee 1

series general psa: this series is not for everyone proceed with caution and check warnings before indulging I love you all<3

desc: (fem reader) modern au best friends to lovers, roommate az, angsty + smutty, multiple parts (not sure how many yet at least 5)

warnings: 18+ , light smut, light angst?, pining, vibrator, self stimulation, drug/alcohol abuse/addiction, platonic childhood fluff, childhood trauma cus its az helloo, readers a lil insecure, cancer minor character

wc: 2.7k

a/n: I'm salivating

other parts will be found on my azriel masterlist

one

"Get it offff!" I screamed to absolutely no one in particular. My mother was inside cooking, my father still at work, so they clearly wouldn't hear me. My arms flailed wildly around my head. "It's going to sting me!" I scream again, going cross eyed as I looked at the bee perched on my nose, the bee buzzed, sharp pain shot through my nose, my eyes welled up with tears, too frantic to notice the boy across the street, watching me from his own front yard.

"Are you okay?" my eyes drift to the boy who had just moved in across the street, he was eating a lollipop, now standing on the sidewalk in front of my front yard. I had stopped flailing, but I was still crying, tears rolling down my cheeks as I held my hand to my nose. I haven't spoken yet, and the boy shrugs, about to turn around and retreat back to his own house. His skin was tan, hair black, short, but shaggy with a slight wave to it, there were two small purple bruises underlining each of his hazel eyes, I also noticed the scars covering his hands, almost looking like a thousand tiny cuts that had healed over, he was taller than me, and maybe just about the cutest boy I had ever seen in my nine years of life.

"It stung me," I say, watching him, he stops again, a half smile on his face, cheek popped out from the candy he was eating.

"That's because youre supposed to stay still," he informs me, matter of factly, my face scrunches up, eyes squinting at him, he laughs, pulling the candy from his mouth again. "Im Az, I just moved in yesterday, over there," he turns and points back toward his house before turning to me again. "What's your name?" he asks, his head cocking to the side slightly, it reminded me of when my parents brought my golden retriever home on my fifth birthday, I had named him Boots.

"Y/n," I inform him matter of factly, eyeing the candy that he had. A blow pop, my favorite, "do you have any more of those?" I ask, he looks at his candy, smirking and then looking back at me. "Specifically green apple," I add, it was my favorite flavor.

"Yeah, but I'm saving the green apple," he shrugs, still smirking. I purse my lips slightly, eyeing the bruises again.

"What happened to your eyes?" I ask, my own meeting his and he shrugs again.

"Got caught stealing and my step mom made my brothers pop me," he responds, my eyes widen in surprise.

"What did you steal?" I ask, my eye brows raising slightly, I couldn't imagine the trouble I would be in for stealing, but it wouldn't have been that.

"Blow pops from the corner store," he smirks and I shake my head in surprise, I would never think to steal anything in my life. "You look like Pennywise, you should put something on that," he points to my nose, I reach my hand up to touch it again, the sting aching.

"You stole them, and you can't give me even one? And who is Pennywise?"

"The clown? Your parents don't let you watch scary movies?" He asks and I shake my head, eyeing the lollipop again. "Fine, I'll go get you one but only because I feel bad for you cus your parents are strict. And only if you go fix your clown nose, Bee."

"I told you, my names y/n."

"Not anymore."

"Hey," I smiled softly as Azriel entered the kitchen in our shared apartment. I was perched on my stool, laptop on the counter in front of me with my most recent homework assignment open. I was pretty much glued to my computer these days, trying to become a nurse while also working a full time bartending shift at Murphys didnt leave me with much extra time. Our eyes met for a brief moment and mine narrowed at his slightly dilated pupils, his eyes quickly darted from mine as he poured himself a drink. "It's early," I commented, and he glanced back at me for a second before shrugging his shoulders and chugging the drink in a few gulps.

"What do they say Bee? It's 5 somewhere, yeah?" he smirked, his eyes finding mine again, I swallowed, feeling my cheeks heat slightly. I averted my gaze, my eyes landing back on my laptop screen, "you working tonight?" he asked, walking past me to the living room, I swiveled around on my stool, facing him now, my back to the counter.

"Yeah, nine to three," I said as I watched him ruffling through the files of drawings that were on his desk. He had a nice little home set up for drawing, an optional backlight built into the desk with an additional overhead lamp, a comfortable chair, an array of drawing utensils and unlimited transfer paper for tattooing.

There were dozens of Azriels drawings all around the apartment, even a few of me.

"If youre up for it we're all supposed to go to the beach tomorrow, Rhys' parents went home so the beach house is empty again," Azriel said, and I find my eyes drifting to his lips while he spoke, I quickly snap my eyes back up.

"Yeah maybe, I'll see how dead I am tomorrow after working all night. I have a paper due Monday too," I bit my lip, my eyes fixing on his jawline, the way it flexed just a little each time he swallowed.

"Just let me know, you know youre always welcome," he shrugged, checked his phone again and then started toward the door. "See you later, Bee, I got clients back to back the rest of the day."

Before I could even get any more words out he was out the door. "Bye Az," I said softly to the empty apartment, rising to my feet.

Azriel had always been there for me. Since the day after he moved across the street and we'd met and bonded over green apple blow pops, we had been near inseparable since. So naturally, when I got into college, he offered that I move in to his place, since it was closer to the city, 'I'm barely home, you'll have all the silence to study,' I recalled him saying when I had been hesitant about it. After high school, I had taken four years off to help my mother tend to my grandmother while she battled cancer, so even with my reservations about the idea I had ended up taking Azriel up on his offer... The alternative would have been dorming with fresh out of high school freshmen at twenty two years old.

The only reason why I had been hesitant really is because I had been completely and hopelessly in love with Azriel since I was fifteen years old.

I knew it was stupid. If it was going to happen, it would have happened already. He liked older women first of all, and I was two years younger. Plus, I was just Bee to him, just his friend, just the girl that had lived across the street. And that's all he would ever see me as, just his younger best friend that he had to look out for.

Azriels routine was always the same, he'd come back for his lunch break around the same time every day, whether it was to actually eat lunch, get something for work, or have a drink or two, he wouldn't be home again until usually the evening or late at night. Until whenever he was done either tattooing, or drinking with his friends from the shop after they had all finished.

So any time he left after his lunch break, I knew I had the house to myself for a while.

I put music on first, turning the volume almost all the way up before I retrieved my rose vibrator from my room and I crossed the hall to Azriels room. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, I knew it was wrong, some might even say a little bit creepy. But the rush... It was well worth it.

His bed wasnt made, there was clothes scattered, a few more folders on the small coffee table were stacked next to his bong and a small tray with powder residue, a twenty dollar bill curled next to it, unraveled after having been rolled up. "Messy," I mumbled to myself before I climbed into his bed.

I bit my lip slightly in anticipation, and slid my t shirt over my head, I tossed it to the floor, my shorts next, leaving me naked on Azriels bed. I leaned back onto his pillows, relaxing slightly, tipping my head back against them. His scent filled my nostrils, my toes curled, heat seeming to spread over my skin.

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers over my skin, Azriel consumed my mind, my senses as I slowly slid a finger over my opening gently dipping into the wetness that had gathered there.

I moaned softly, imagining the way his rough fingers would feel on my skin. I imagined his naked body, imagined how big he would be, imagined the way he would kiss me, the way he would suck on my skin.

"Dammit," Azriel muttered to himself, searching through the folder of drawings again and again. His next appointment was in only twenty minutes, and he had of course, grabbed the wrong folder. He rose to his feet quickly, informing Kat, the shops receptionist, that he would be right back and to let his client know when they got there.

When he reached the apartment he could hear music before he even unlocked the door, he chuckled softly, figuring that Bee was cleaning the apartment. She would blast music every time.

He entered into the living room and headed to his desk, scrambling through the folders looking for the right piece. "Fuck," he said quietly to himself, realizing that the drawing wasnt there. It had to be in his room.

His eyebrows drew together when he noticed his door open, and when he reached the doorway he halted, his lips parting in surprise.

It was Bee.

In his room.

Touching herself.

He knew he should go, he knew he should forget the drawing, cancel his appointment, and turn right back around and leave before she saw him. He would have to make something up for his client, but it would save Bee the embarrassment of the sight before him.

He couldn't move though. His mouth went dry, his cheeks reddened as he watched, his cock twitched in his pants.

Her head was turned to the side, eyes squeezed shut, face half buried in his pillow, her back was arched, legs spread wide open on his bed. Her pink nipples were adorned with small rhinestone nipple rings, her breasts were peaked in the air, chest shuddering with her ragged heavy breaths. And her moans. The sound had his gut churning and his ears hot, he couldn't move, he couldn't stop looking.

His eyes landed between her legs next, his mouth watered at the sight of her puffy pink lips. Her pussy throbbed, her juices glistening in the rather bright light of his bedroom, she held a toy to her clit, grinding against it as her other hand flew up, rubbing and squeezing at her breast. She turned her head then, her eyes opening to look down at herself but they landed on Azriel instead, her eyes widened and her face went from shocked, to horrified, to ashamed. She almost choked, chucking her toy across the room and scrambling too her feet, it buzzed a little louder now that it wasnt suctioned to her clit. Azriel watched dumbfounded from his place in the doorway, his cheeks red, his whole body feeling hot.

"Turn around!" she shrieked, trying to cover her most intimate parts with her clothes she had retrieved off of the floor and he whirled instantly, putting his back to her now.

"Y/n, fuck, Im sorry, I forgot something," he swallowed, his voice sounded slightly strained, his mouth almost too dry to speak. He never really used her name, she was always just Bee. He didnt know why he was apologizing even, it was his room after all. He'd have to ask her about that later though.

"Im sorry, I- Your bed is comfortable," was all she managed to get out.

He couldn't help but turn his head slightly when she pushed passed him to the hallway toward her room, and he noticed he small tattoo of a bee at the top of her left cheek, a lump formed in his throat at the view of her backside, her door slammed behind her and he was left stunned. Her vibrator was still buzzing on the floor and he picked it up, turning it off and he tossed it on the bed next to the wet spot that was there now, he didnt know what else he was supposed to do with it. He figured shed come back for it later.

He was trying to process what had just happened but his phone rang, it was Kat, informing him that his client had been there for fifteen minutes already so she hoped he was on his way.

Azriel snapped out of it, finding the folder he needed on the coffee table and he tucked it tightly under his arm pit. His cock ached in his pants and he didnt know how to feel about it. This was Bee. His best friend Bee, he hadn't ever looked at her in any other light than that. She was beautiful, sure, but she was Bee. His silly, goofy, younger childhood friend. They had practically grown up together.

Azriel reached into his pocket, pulling out a small round tin, the folder still neatly tucked under his arm as he used his car key to give himself a little bump. He rubbed his nose free of any powder, before he shoved the tin back into his pocket, he had to get back to the shop. He wasnt even on his way yet and his client was waiting already, he couldn't remember the last time he felt so flustered.

Azriel found the rest of his day to be extremely hard to focus. He thought about texting Bee, trying to make her feel better in some way because he knew she must be going absolutely out of her mind with embarrassment. He just didnt know what to say.

He did know that he couldn't get the image of her splayed out on his bed out of his head though. It was like torture, he was aching for release, shifting uncomfortably in his seat while he tried to focus on tattooing. He couldn't stop wondering what she would taste like, what it would feel like to have her underneath him.

She had gone to work when he got back, even though he had tried to finish a little early, hoping he could at least have a conversation with her. It wasnt just that he couldn't stop thinking about what she looked like naked, he was also slightly concerned about the awkwardness of the situation. The fact they lived together and saw each other every day. Was she going to avoid him now? Did he want her to avoid him for a while?

Azriel groaned quietly to himself, kicking his jeans off of his body when he was finally in bed.

Usually with this much of a pent up sexual frustration, he would have called one of his hook ups. Let them take care of it for him. But he couldn't get Bee out of his head. He was battling himself internally.

Something felt morally wrong about looking at Bee like that. It had always been his job since they'd met to look out for her. He felt like this was the opposite of looking out for her, like he was becoming the problem that he was supposed to be protecting her from. It felt like dangerous territory, but it was her lips he thought about wrapped around his cock when he pleasured himself that night.

a/n: hope there's no mistakes lmk i proof read this very quickly because i have to be up in 3 hours but im literally frothing at the mouth hehehe

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mtfstuff · 1 year

Text

The desired role

I never thought my life could change this drastically. Let me tell you that I once was a strong and fair cop but I lost all of that quickly without fully realizing what I did. It all started a few months ago on this fateful afternoon.

On that day I was on my patrol, driving around in my police cruiser looking for potential trouble as usual.

I had gotten a call from a young woman that it seems like a young man is selling himself for sex to other men in a more remote area of the town. I was driving around there to see if I could spit him and I could after a fee minutes of searching. I carefully parked the cruiser and tried to sneak up on them. They were in the back of an alley. I could see the young man wearing skin tight latex from neck to toes. He was getting fucked by an older man with a beer gut while another man demanded the young man to suck his dick. I came closer but one of the older man noticed me and started to run. I quickly started to run towards them, shouting at them to stand still. The second man pushed the young man towards me and started to run away too.

I catched the young man and could only watch as the two old men ran through a backdoor and closed it. I handcuffed the young man and then walked up to the backdoor, trying to pry it open but to no avail. The thick metal door didnt move a bit. I got back to the young man and looked at him thoroughly. His body from neck to toes was covered in latex, even his hands. The only places free of latex was his crotch area and a hole around his butt. His dick was locked away in a chastity cage. He seemed intimidated by me as he didnt even reach my shoulders.

"Are you even old enough to sell yourself in this 'business'?", I asked him starting to walk him towards the cruiser.

"Is this regarding my size? Yeah I know I look young with my 5' but I can assure you that I'm 26 years old.", he answered cowardly.

"Do you have any ID to back up that claim?"

"No. I lost everything around 4 months ago."

I pushed him into the backseat.

I got into the car on the drivers seat.

"Whats your name?", I asked opening the criminal justice information system.

"Jordan Blight.", he said. I could hear him starting to sob.

I entered his name into the computer and found multiple things about him. It started with him disappearing, followed by multiple offensive crimes.

I exhaled deeply. By the looks of it this guy would now go to prison even though I knew that from the way he looked he wouldnt survive a week there.

Jordan must've had a similar thought as he started crying.

"Please... I'll do anything. I just cant go to prison. Please!", he cried.

"Sorry man, but I cant help you.", I answered looking at him through the rearview mirror.

"Please...", he continued crying. "I'll do anything... do you need sexual relief? I'm supposedly good at it. Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

I stayed silent. I felt somewhat pitty for him and his situation.

"Do you need someone to get drugs? I know some who have them.", he continued.

I looked at him concerned.

"Or do you want me as an insider? Or should I be your slave?"

I subconsciously moved an eyebrow and unfortunatly Jordan noticed it.

"What was it? The insider or the slave?", he asked with a grin.

I cleared my throat.

"How did you get in your situation? I mean I wouldnt choose to walk around in a latex suit covering everything but my head, dick and ass.", I asked.

"Changing the subject, I see.", he snickered. "I was drugged by some I considered friends. They stripped me, put me in this latex suit and cock cage. They also made sure that I dont get out by welding the zipper fully into the suit. They then brought me here, into a city I dont know to make me a sex slave. And they succeeded. I got addicted to sex and drugs over the last few months. It feels like I know more about the taste of dicks and cum than real food. It feels like I dont even remember how it feels to wear something else than latex."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I - I dont even know what to say.", I said.

"Say if it was the slave or the insider.", he laughed.

"Neither. Just a weird thought I sometimes have."

"Tell me about it."

I felt torn. He had the right appearance for my weird wish but he was just a stranger, even more a stranger I've just arrested. But I still had this feeling that I could tell him.

"Since I was in pre-school I was the tallest guy and even without working out I was pretty muscular.", I said. "And I dont know why as my family isnt tall at all. Since then I started to get this wish, to feel small. Even get somewhat humiliated."

It was a weird silence.

"I didnt see that coming.", Jordan said. "You, this hunk of a good looking man, wants to be humiliated. You want to be in my position?"

"Yeah, I do.", I said. "I just want to know how it feels."

"Well, I'd do anything to not go to prison but I dont know how much I could humiliate you."

He chuckled.

"I mean I'm 5' and you're like 6'3.", he added.

"6'5 to be precise.", I said. "I could have something that would change this situation. Only if you're down for it."

"I'd be doing it if it means that I wont go to prison, so yeah. Tell me, what is it you have."

I moved around in my seat, fearing his reaction to what I would tell him.

"I have a body swap item with me.", I told him.

He bursted out into laughs. It was almost contagious. Almost.

He slowly caught himself again.

"You cant be serious!", he looked at me. "Oh shit, you're serious."

"I dont know if it works but it could be your way out of prison if you do it with me for a short time. Its said to be reversible so we'd swap back after that session of ours.", I said.

He thought about it for a moment.

"Sure, why not. I always wondered how it felt to have a body as incredible as yours."

"Then its a deal.", I started the engine and drove us to an even more remote area of the city.

When we arrived I turned off the cruiser and got out. I opened the trunk of the cruiser and took a strange needle out of it. I closed it and opened Jordan's door. I pulled him out and pushed him into an abandoned alleyway.

I unlocked his handcuffs and he rubbed his wrists.

"So how does this work?", Jordan asked.

"We have to prick a finger each with this.", I held the needle in front of him. "Then the pricked tips have to touch and then we swap or transform into each other. That wasnt fully clear."

"Then lets do it.", he answered.

I took one of his fingers and pricked the tip. He let out a slight gasp. Then I pricked my finger and held it up. He pressed his finger against mine and I immediately felt a weird sensation, as if a force was pulling my whole body from my finger.

Jordan musst have felt it himself as he pulled his hand away. I looked at him and noticed that he started to grow, not just in height but also in terms of muscles. His latex suit got pulled thinner and thinner before it finally ripped in multiple places. The scraps of latex fell to the ground, revealing Jordans new muscular body that was still growing. I could immediately see that his muscles looked like mine. Jordan marveled at his new body, already smelling his armpits or feeling his abs. I looked down at his dick to see if it was growing too and it did. It was already straining against the cage before the cage sprung open and fell to the ground. Jordan's dick was the spitting image of mine and it was rock hard.

Jordan was almost the same height as me now and only his face looked different. A beard stubble was starting to grow on his cheeks as his bone structure started to morph into mine. His hair grew shorter and his eye color changed. It took only a few seconds and it was as if I was looking into a mirror. A naked mirror.

"This is incredible!", Jordan said feeling his biceps. "We could be twins right now! But shouldnt you look like me?"

"Yeah, I thought I would transform too but until now I only have this strange feeling.", right then the feeling changed and I started to shrink. While shrinking my uniform felt heavier and the gun holster looser every second and suddenly my pants, including my boxers, fell to the ground. My jacket and vest were huge on me, my hands didnt even stick out of the sleeve anymore and my dick was hidden behind the vest but I could feel how hard it was. It was almost painful.

I looked at Jordan and he had a huge grin on his face.

"Your manly face on my body wearing a uniform thats to big for you is just a funny sight to behold.", he said not letting go of his new muscles.

I started to feel my face change. The receding beard as well as the quickly growing hair tickled. With a faint plop I could hear my bones change and then the feeling vanished.

"Looks like I'm the officer now.", Jordan said.

He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me up. I could feel my socks and boots slip off my feet before I felt the cold ground beneath my butt. Jordan had dropped me.

"Man this strength is crazy!", he exclaimed.

I coughed a few times, trying to get my throat to feel normal again.

Jordan grabbed my arms and quickly pulled the rest of the uniform off of my body. I was now sitting on the cold floor completely naked.

Jordan dropped the vest, jacket and undershirt. I could hear him breathing heavily.

"I havent worn real clothes for months.", I could hear him say to himself.

He picked up my boxers from my pants and looked at them in his hands. He quickly smelled them and let out a quiet moan before carefully slipping his legs through them. He pulled them up to his hips and took his time to position his new big dick in a comfortable place.

It looked like Jordan quickly forgot about me because of the uniform.

He continued by pulling my socks out of my boots before pulling them over his feet and muscular calves. He wiggled his toes and giggled.

He grabbed the undershirt and pulled it over his broad chest. I marveled at how great it fit him. I now saw that I truly knew how to show off my body.

He removed the gun holster from the belt before stepping into the pants. He closed the belt and added the holster back.

He grabbed the jacket and quickly put it on before adding the vest onto his torso.

The last thing left were the boots. He seemed to almost celebrate this. He grabbed them and slowly unlaced them. He relished stepping into them, I could see it. He tied them again and took a few steps.

"This feels so good. Wearing real clothes, a uniform even. And then wearing shoes again. No more barefoot in latex.", he said.

Standing before me really was the spitting image of me, officer Stephen Benson. An officer with a bright future, thinking about how he could do anything as me now made my dick even harder.

"What are you going to do with me, officer?", I asked trying to get his attention.

He helped me up before pushing me face first against the wall.

"You can be more than lucky I got my uniform back. Impersonating an officer is a serious crime!", he said.

I felt him rubbing his crotch against my back.

"That was all just a big misunderstanding sir!", I answered.

I suddenly felt how he put the handcuffs around my wrists on my back.

"Misunderstanding or not, you're going to jail.", he said.

I got nervous, was he just roleplaying or taking over my life. I wanted to be submissive but I didnt want to go to jail. The thought of him taking over made me even harder. My dick was pressing so hard against the dirty brick wall.

"You're lucky as I'm in need of sexual relief.", he turned me around to face him. "And you may not go to jail if you go down and do a thing for me."

Jordan had a devilish grin on my old face. I went down and he immediately pushed my face into my old crotch. I could smell the fabric as well as the stench of my old sweat. But most of all I could feel the outline of the beast inside the pants that was once mine.

He continued pressing my face into his crotch.

"Worship me. Worship my muscles and uniform!", he said.

I couldnt answer because my face was pushed so hard against his crotch but I managed to move my hands behind my back to get his attention there.

He bent himself over me to unlock one side of the handcuffs again.

I immediately moved my hands to his firm butt and squeezed it. My hands slowly ran down his legs, feeling the muscles beneath the fabric every time he flexed his legs. I knew that it should be wrong, worshipping your real body but it just felt so good.

My hands went down further, now slightly massaging his calves before I ran my hands over my combat boots he now wore. Touching the leather felt surprisingly good so I kept working on his feet. That combined with inhaling the musk of my old crotch and uniform felt intoxicating.

"Take it out and suck it!", I heard Jordan order with my old deep voice.

It sent chills down my spine knowing that I sounded like that before but now I wasnt in control of it or any other part of that body.

I opened the belt and pants and pulled out his dick. It was more than massive from my point of view and it was already throbbing and leaking pre-cum.

I opened my mouth and Jordan saw that as his opportunity to push the full 8 inches down my throat. I thought that I would have to throw up but this body had like no gag reflex anymore. I continued sucking on my old dick while Jordan controlled my speed by having his hands behind my head.

It felt weird and at first I didnt knew what to do but it only took a few seconds before the muscle memory kicked in and I started sucking like a pro. I could feel the veins pulsate in sync with Jordan's heartbeat. I used my tongue to play with it and I heard Jordan moan every now and then.

He suddenly grabbed my head more tightly before I felt his dick erupting in my mouth. I immediately started to swallow and tasted cum for the first time. The salty but still somewhat sweet taste was weird at first but it felt more normal with every string Jordan shot into my mouth.

"Dont spill.", he said panting.

I swallowed everything before he pulled me to my feet again. He turned me around again and I could immediately feel him running his dick along my ass. He pushed it in without warning but it didnt hurt at all.

"Damn, my hole was loose.", Jordan said. "I have more to give to you."

He pounded me hard but it still turned me on more. Knowing that the roles would be reversed in reality. I should be the muscular officer and Jordan should be this twink but right now I was living my phantasy.

His thrusts changed pace and I could feel how he prepared to unleash another load into me. He pushed me tight against the wall, his hands on my hips as I felt him shooting his warm and slimy masculine seed up my ass.

He pulled out and I felt him wiping off his dick on my butt cheeks.

I was covered in sweat but it felt great to have been used like this and I bet Jordan loved being a muscular officer too.

I was awaiting that he would unlock the handcuffs again so that we could swap back but he suddenly grabbed me with full force by my neck and threw me to the ground.

"You let something drip out of your ass!", he said firmly pointing at his feet. "Go on and clean my awesome combat boots."

I got on my knees and licked the cum off of my old boot. It tasted just like before, only that it had now dirt mixed into it. I was almost done licking as I felt a few finger intrude my butt. Jordan pulled them out again and tasted it.

"Damn man, this body tastes good.", he said.

Suddenly we both looked intensely at each other knowing exactly what caused it. It felt like a damn broke in our minds. My mind got flooded with the memories of Jordan and he probably got access to my memories.

"This- this changes everything!", he said.

He pulled me up.

I cleared my throat to sound manlier.

"Are you ready to change back? There are spare clothes in the trunk of the cruiser you can wear after that.", I said.

"No man.", he said.

"What do you mean, no?"

He pushed me against the wall again.

"You wanted to be me. You wanted to be humiliated and I agreed to escape prison.", he flashed me a quick smile. "But I'm the man now. I have the muscles. I wear the uniform. We'll do this my way now."

"But- but you cant just be a cop and do my job. I cant stay like this."

"You enjoyed being like this."

He gestured to my small, hard and slightly leaking dick.

"And I more than enjoyed being you.", he continued. "You have two options now, 'Jordan'. Keep complaining about swapping back and I'll send you to prison. Or get into the car and be me."

I stared at him in shock.

"It's Thursday, right?", he asked.

"Yes."

"Then lets make a deal. We stay like this till Sunday. If you then still want to swap back we'll do it. If you want us to stay like this we'll stay."

"Deal!"

He grabbed my balls tightly and I let out a loud, uncontrolled moan. He laughed.

"Good. I still have to be on my patrol for 2 more hours. So I'll leave you here. You wanted to be humiliated so you have to make a choice. Stay here until I come back to get you or look around searching for clothes. But if you do, time is running. I wont wait here for you when I'm finshed.", he said.

He laughed again and walked to the cruiser. He stepped into the driver seat, started the engine and left.

Only then I noticed that Jordan managed to place his old chastity cage on my dick.

I didnt fully understand how it got this far but I felt good. The humiliation was everything I always wanted but I still felt the urge to get my body back. I was excited to see what the last few days would bring.

#body switch #male body switch #body swap #male body swap #male body transformation #male transformation

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bloodheartz · 1 month

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gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

#gravity falls #gravity falls headcanons #gravity falls hcs #dipper pines #mason pines #mabel pines #stanley pines #grunkle stan #stanford pines #ford pines

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star-suh · 1 year

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One Jerk Off A Day Do Not Keep The Doctor Away

Lee Minho x Male Reader

cw: top doctor minho, bttm m! reader, fingering, rimjob, reader is kinda dumb idk, blowjob, public sex, underwear gagging, breeding, minho is a horny freak.

—

"so tell me mr. y/n, what brought you here?" asked minho.

"you see mr. lee i'm feeling some pain down there" answered y/n shyly.

"where exactly?" said minho while typing on his computer.

"umm… in.. in my balls…" answered y/n blushing, his face looked like a tomato. minho just looked at him straight to his eyes and smirked.

"okay mr. y/n, no need to be shy. hop on and lay on the bed, but first, take off your pants and underwear please" minho told y/n while putting on his gloves, y/n complied but he was so shy that he covered his crotch with his hands.

"no need to do that, y/n, it's not the first dick i've seen" the older said and started to touch y/n's dick part by part until he reaches y/n's balls and squeeze them. "hng" y/n moaned. "what was that? does it hurts here?" asked minho and y/n nodded. "tell me mr. y/n what was the last time you masturbated?". y/n eyes were wide open and his face was now like if he just ate the spiciest food on earth, he covered his face with his hands and answered in embarrasment "i don't masturbate mr. doctor". minho looked at him in disbelief "what do you mean y/n? don't you know masturbating is a normal thing for people?", y/n nodded and answered "yes… b-but i never felt the need to do it…".

"woah y/n you really surprised me" laughed minho "luckily i have a perfect method to help you with your blue balls. we just have to milk them until you're dry". "and how do you do that?" asked y/n, minho didn't say a word just showed y/n the big bulge in his pants, he unzipped it and left his cock sprung free out of it "with this tool here" he says slapping his big heavy fat cock in his hand "so i can reach your prostate and free all that cum inside you, so it can stop hurting. what do you think mr. y/n?". "yes doctor, you know better than me how to relieve this pain" answered y/n quickly.

"ok, then let's get to work"

—

"spread them wide open for me, please?" demanded minho while burying his face between y/n's ass cheeks "i have to prep this pretty hole so it won't hurt when i introduce my cock to you okay?" y/n nodded containing his moans so the patients outside the doctor's consulting room won't hear him. minho's tongue went as deep as it could inside y/n's ass leaving it dilated and slippery, then he slapped his clenching hole and introduced his fingers inside of it "dam you taste so good y/n, i might become addicted to this flavor" said minho while kissing y/n's thighs.

"t-thank you s-sir… i might become addicted to this too". minho smirked "glad to know that" he then put another finger and then another and thrust them inside until all three of them were knuckles deep inside y/n, he later pulls them out.

"now i need you to put that pretty mouth of yours to work, take my cock and make it nice and wet to introduce it inside you, okay mr. y/n?" the latter nodded and started to kiss minho's cock head licking the pre-cum of the slip "it takes so good mr. lee" said y/n "open wide and relax your throat, i'm gonna help you" told minho to y/n who complied, then the doctor started to mouthfuck his patient. "so fucking tight damn" he says while y/n was gagging, threads of thick saliva spilling out of y/n's mouth corners and coating minho's shaft with it, some minutes passed and minho pulls out "why did you stopped doctor?" y/n asked, "because i don't want to cum yet, and remember, i still have to slip it inside your asshole. now be a good boy, lay on the bed and open your legs wide". y/n did as the doctor said and started to feel how the doctor's cock stretched his hole, a burning sensation that sends him to heaven and back. "i can feel you like it by how much you're tightening around me fuck" minho murmured remembering that there's still patients outside, he also picked up his underwear and put it on y/n's mouth to muffle his moans. y/n's warm and slippery hole feels like heaven for minho and his cock, he loves how it grips his cock and y/n loves how he can feel every vein and twitch of minho's cock inside him, how it brushes his prostate, it is like he was in paradise.

y/n's cock was rock hard so minho take advantage of it and started stroking it to help y/n to release his cum. "i'm gonna thrust harder so bare with me y/n. be quiet we don't want someone watching how your naughty hole swallows my cock, right?" y/n nodded. dirty squelching sounds can be heard, coming from y/n's sinful hole being stretched by minho's fat cock. y/n starts to feel weird signaling he's about to cum, he spit the underwear "i feel weird mr. doctor". "that's okay y/n" he keeps thrusting harder and harder "that means you're gonna release soon" and as soon as minho says that y/n moaned loudly but thankfully minho was fast to cover his mouth, ropes of white thick cum spill out if y/n's slit painting his abdomen, chest and part of his face in white, while minho came inside him.

"fuck that was the best fuck of my life y/n" says minho "let me keep fucking my cum deep inside you so it won't spill out of it when you're walking home"...

"thanks for today mr. doctor" said y/n already dressed and shaking minho's hand, suddenly a loud bang can be heard making bith yelp in surprise, it was a nurse, everyone outside heard y/n's "scream" so they tought he needed help.

"it's everything ok mr. y/n, we heard a scream" asked the nurse worried, "oh yes yes everything it's ok don't need to worry" answered minho "he's just a silly boy scared of needles nothing more" minho laughed squeezing y/n's ass, "yeah yeah, i'm sorry for worrying you miss nurse" smiled y/n "so see you in the next appointment mr. doctor" winked y/n at minho who smiled at him, then the patient just walks out of the office.

"i think i became addicted to that ass" murmured minho fixing his glasses "next patient please" he yells while he goes back to his desk and fixes his coat.

#lee know x male reader #lee minho x male reader #lee know #lee minho #male reader #male reader smut #lee know smut #kpop x male reader smut #kpop x male reader #smut

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sinvilles · 3 months

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more thoughts: Clay and his alcoholism

to reiterate my first point from the last post:

I'm not concerned with whether any character in the series was "redeemed" or not. the show was cut in half, and so was every character arc. hence we end up with a show that got cancelled when all the main characters were at their lowest point of development in the narrative, and all the surrounding characters getting half developed to a point of mild satisfaction.

I don't think Clay is misunderstood in this fandom so much as misinterpreted. namely the overt focus on his abusive incidents and qualities drowns out any analysis about how and why they emerged in the first place. and the insistence on reading him through this over the top evil villain tunnel vision- Clay is an antagonist, in that his actions are in opposition to Orel's, but he's not a villain. I actually don't think there are designated villains in Moral Orel, just a lot of damaged, self destructive people who rationalize, deny and repress the harm they cause. humans, as Dino called them.

put succinctly, I think we often forget that Clay has a disease, that it is life-threatening, and no one around him is educated enough to see the warning signs- because drinking culture is so ingrained in their social circle that there's nothing to do but repress whatever harm it causes.

earlier on in the show, his drinking is less pronounced. This is not to say he didn't have a problem, because its clear from Help that his binging started early in their marriage. I do think there is a gradual descent beginning with him drinking the boozy milk in church, slowly until Bloberta calls him a "self-destructive alcoholic", and then a rapid plummet after he walks out on Christmas eve. This feels in line with a relapse.

I went back and forth on whether Clay had actually never touched a drop of booze before he met Bloberta- he lied about his father being dead, he must have been shitting her about "isnt drinking a sin?" because even he knows that his mother used to drink- and also the way he keeps on looks like someone who tried to stop before and that this is his relapse. but then he goes on about his "new found superpowers" and thanking Bloberta for helping him come out of his shell so it definitely seems like alcohol is providing him with a burst of sociability and extraversion that he otherwise didn't think he had in him before.

Clay genuinely believed that drinking was making him a better person. This is reinforced by what others say to him: by Bloberta saying "it makes us better people", or Danielle telling him, "you're better when you drink." The word "better" is used directly in his rant- he mimes the alcohol telling him: "I'll make things better, dear! drink me, put me inside you!" in the following dialogue, its very clear that he associates drinking with his relationship with Bloberta, and women in general. And also that the sex he has had with Bloberta might be less than consensual and not pleasurable for him. More on this later.

That's the rub of alcohol. You drink a little to feel good, and you do it until that amount doesn't do it for you anymore, and the tolerance builds up until you need to drink enough to black out, and being black out drunk is where your inhibitions completely disappear. Black out drunk means you might whip out your dick and piss on someone's computer- knew a guy who did it- does this mean you hate that person, or computers? no, just that your senses were no longer functioning to keep you from carrying out every insane impulse you have.

alcohol addiction isn't a moral failing, its a disease. Clay's true moral failing was that he wasn't responsible or mature enough to be left alone with his son in the wilderness. He wasn't a horrifyingly inept father in the past episodes, mostly just spanking Orel before asking him why he (impregnated women in their sleep/sold his piss for profit/did crack/stole his booze/etc). Then he imparts an entirely deranged moral because he feels like he needs to explain to Orel some justification for his punishment, which he might be doing to bond with him the way he used to bond with his mother.

Clay was not properly fathered (or mothered, for that matter), and is not equipped to be a good father. His version of fathering Orel is an attempt to undo the neglect of his boyhood- he is physically present in his life, "a boy needs his father" so he says, he converses with him- while he did spank him, he's never slapped him or battered him, which is interesting to note because Arthur only ever hit Clay in the face. The actual, major fuck up in his life happened when he was black out drunk.

Its notable that after the incident we get an episode of him reflecting on the death of his mother, and how he never got to go on that coveted hunting trip with his dad. the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions.

but he gets worse. He starts ditching work to drink. he ditches church to drink. he's calling up his situationship midday to drink. he has ditched the shot glass and is drinking his brown booze straight from the bottle now. this is ruining his friendships, his professional connections, even the barmaid hates him now. Because he can't reconcile his self-image with what he did to his child, his only narcissistic impulse is to deny it happened, lie about it, to himself, to the doctor, to everyone around him. Then when he can't deny it happened, he hides from his son out of shame, and avoids talking to him for 6 months, only speaking to him again when it becomes clear that his son has publicly sided against him. Right after that he emotionally regresses and becomes susceptible to the manipulations of a seemingly older woman. Clay is in the middle of a mental breakdown.

then the show gets cancelled.

of course they killed it. why would adult swim want to air a show where a character suffers from a realistic depiction of alcoholic dependency? one where a guy pisses his bed because he's too drunk to get up at night, one where a guy almost kills his child (not played for laughs)? the audience doesn't want to be told that they need to kick their habit. they'd prefer a mad scientist who can just grow himself a new liver any time he needs to replace it. Or a cartoon crow who gets into hi-LAR-ious out-RAG-eous hijinks because of his drinking. do you see what I'm saying?

I mean, what if Clay stopped drinking?

("Yeah, what if?")

there's this thing called withdrawal, where if your body is at the point where it is dependent on alcohol for stability, alcohol every day every hour, all year long- like Clay is- going cold turkey can actually end your life.

a caricatured depiction of withdrawal can be seen happening to Orel in the episode "Grounded"- he isn't just "going crazy", Church is an addiction that he needs to feed to feel normal. It's a very silly take on it, but the insatiable cravings, sweats, nausea, shakes, clamminess and the feelings of unmanageable suicidality are the same.

Other effects of alcoholic withdrawal include (not in order) seizures, hallucinations, acute anxiety, mood swings, tachycardia, and in worst cases delirium tremens. with the way Clay drinks he would definitely end up with pretty bad DTs.

And it goes on for at least 6 months.

when this happens, a person needs to be hospitalized. and knowing the medical staff at Martin Luther Hospital, I can understand why he would want to avoid it. I don't think he has the willpower to wait past shaky hands before he reaches for his next drink.

another part of overcoming an addiction to alcohol is community support- support from family, friends, spouses. this was described by Kabi Nagata in one of her memoirs as a kind of "foothold in the world" to keep the patient stable and focused. but as of the start of season 2, Bloberta doesn't care. Clay perceives Bloberta as not being on his side- if your own wife isn't on your side, what hope do you have needing her when you're vulnerable? fuck, even Clay isn't on his own side.

On Bloberta- I get the feeling she might have supported him to stop drinking earlier in their marriage. Or at least to get his drinking under control (as in, not publicly visible). Maybe before Shapey was born? but when he started again, she was through being "on his side" so to speak.

(and I do think his drinking has some correlation to his sex life. according to Bloberta, "when does he ever remember?" and based on what little Orel said in that one promo, Clay is never sober enough to be on top, like he so insists upon being the "right" way. in his rant Clay graphically describes PIV sex with open revulsion. call me crazy, but I kind of get the feeling he's gay.)

but the real reason I think he was triggered to drinking to excess, is Danielle.

its pretty clear from the get-go of season 2 is that Clay was carrying on an affair with him, at least an emotional one if not a physical one. and I can imagine that his attraction to Danielle unsettles him, to the point that he needs to reinforce his concept of masculinity with the markers of it; hiding in his little man cave and collecting hunting equipment- and drinking hard liquor to excess. Everything he accuses Orel of during the hunting trip- being sensitive, soft, a sissy- is just something he projects because he's insecure about it in himself. and the root of it is his fear of loving Danielle.

despite the humiliation he subjected himself to in Honor- him admitting that he loved Danielle was a brief moment of growth. albeit closeted, fearful, it was a revelation of what was really in him. closest comparable moment of honesty in the series was him admitting to Orel that his identity as a father is central to who he is, and without it he would be nothing. and then there's his academy award winning drunken rants.

where could his character have gone... I think leaving his family, aka Orel, aka forgoing his identity as a father, might be the best he could do. that and getting sober. but there's no getting sober without leaving his family, because he associates his wife with drinking. and there's no getting sober if you don't have a friend left in the world. it was sad to see him still with her in the final scene because they both really could've thrived in divorce.

#thoughts of feelings

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absolutebl · 4 months

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This Week in BL - Well... at lease we have Wandee & Stand-in?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 4 of 12 - The geept is strong with this one AKA Yak CAN flirt. Wandee now knows he isn’t the only one with a crush on someone else. AND YET they are SO DAMN CUTE together. I do wonder sometime if Yak is running a counter con with Dee pretending to have a crush on Taem. Meanwhile, mad props on the HPV vax public service! Good for them!!! Now that's my kind of product placement. I do have a feeling the sad bit with these two is gonna be VERY sad and last longer than we like.

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 eps - It’s a riveting show. Pleasant? No. Riveting? Yes. Tiny crumbs for Ming’s assistant. Joe is best boy. That is all. I LOVE this show.

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 16 - TOO MANY SOUND EFFECTS. Omg get your fingers off those buttons you computer wanking sound dude (you know it’s a dude) what tf do you think this is? Lovely Writer? Also, they left ALL their drinks! Can you not walk and drink at the same time in a BL? Meanwhile not much happened that hadn’t already happened AKA bit of a filler ep. That said, the friendship group stuff is glorious!!! Also this brand of super gentle flirting suits PondPhuwin better than any of their prior rolls. It reminds me of how much I think they suit a historical. There is a gentle dignity to these two.

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I love how kindly the turn down was. But most of the dancing stuff was dull. I don’t know I just find the actor playing Kang pretty vacant of appeal I guess.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - As is not uncommon with JBL I’m being to get frustrated with Yuki the Uke. Sigh. I’m probably gonna stay that way for several episodes given the pacing of this show.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Also frustrating. Willful misunderstanding. We got us some running of the gays but boy is this drawn out.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 3-4 of 6 - The puppy is a bit too much sunshine innocent for me. And the professor is a bit creepy. I don't know, I'm not loving this one like I want to.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS. How?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 2 of 10 - yeah I can't find it.