#but also why is ed sheeran here

[feenixmork]

Still losing it at the fact Pokemon Scarlet and Violet gave us both Toby Fox and Ed Sheeran working on the Pokemon OST to some extent. And I honestly can't tell if it's funnier to think that the dev team went "Oh no! The music from Toby Fox is too good! Quick! Get Ed Sheeran or something to make a song for us to balance it out!" or that it was "Oh no this Ed Sheeran song is bad! Quick! Get Toby Fox to compose more music for us!"

[awsugar]

why the in-fighting? why the stan wars and hating on ppl who like different things? We Are All fans of someone who has held a koala.

[mxxnkirby]

getting older is weird for a lot of reasons but i dont think people talk enough about that moment when you subconciously raise the age for people you interact with and also gain a better understanding of age. i don't talk people who were at my age when i started using tumblr, and its to think that i couldve been mutuals with these people like four years ago

like, i've been on tumblr through multiple accounts since i was about 13 and had mutuals who were up to 20 ish years old at the time but i didn't think anything weird of it because we never interacted and so it was "safe" whereas now I'm 17 and i recently unfollowed an 3///d account i just realised was 13.

Likes and reblogs and talking in tags are still indirect interactions and i felt uncomfortable with someone that young being on this side of the internet. the youngest i'll let pass now is 14 since at least that's highschool age but its definitely getting bumped up again when i graduate because 1) as we get older we get different interests and thought processes and opinions so a 13yo is not relevant to things i want to talk about (some of my younger mutuals make me nostalgic sometimes) and 2) because kids have very different brains at each year of their life and the maturity difference even between 14 and 15 is CRAZY

i didnt realise all that at the time but those 20ish year old mutuals i had did. they knew my brain was very immature and 13-core but they still subtley interacted with me when there was no reason for them too and i do not want to make that future kid uncomfortable

[bratzforchris]

The Joker and The Queen-J.G. ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: In which Johnnie is convinced you would be better off with a mortal boyfriend, only for you to remind him that it isn't worldly things that please you. Loosely based off The Joker and The Queen by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran <3

Pairing: Vampire!Johnnie x feminine human!reader

Warnings: Smut, unprotected p in v, rough sex, missionary, marking, making out, creampie, emotional scenes, no aftercare scene

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: This is Pt. 2 to the vampire!Johnnie fic I posted a little while ago--you don't have to read Pt. 1, but I do recommend it! Also, I love this song so much. It reminds me of Johnnie so bad :')

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

You had never believed in the supernatural or urban myths and legends. However, all that had changed three months ago when you’d met Johnnie. Somehow, in some strange turn of events, you’d met an actual vampire. In the world of vampires, each one had their soulmate, whether the other person be a mortal or another vampire. And so, only three months later, you and Johnnie were dating. Because of the soulmate tie, you two were much more intertwined than most couples were at this stage, but you didn’t mind it. 

Since being together, you had aided Johnnie in the repair of his once beautiful Harbordale Manor, turning it from disrepair to the glory it once was. The mansion was nowhere near as full of life and splendor as it once had been, simply due to the nature of keeping who and what Johnnie was a secret, but you didn’t mind. You were still able to attend your university classes, while living with your lover, your best friend Tara, and her boyfriend, Jake, who just happened to be a werewolf and Johnnie’s best friend. In your book, that was perfect. Though your small ‘found family’ was odd and rather creepy by societal standards, it was perfect to you. 

But even with all your confirmation of the life you were loving, Johnnie still worried about you. You were the sunshine to his darkness. He wasn’t always the good man you thought he was. His hands were stained with blood, while you were the purest soul he had ever known. 

“Y/N?” he asked as you two laid in your enormous canopy bed one evening. “Are you happy, my dear?”

“Of course I am!” You smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“I just worry for you, baby bat,” Johnnie mumbled, swiping a cold thumb across your cheek. “I’m worried you think I’m someone I’m not.”

“What do you mean?” You asked him, cocking your head. 

“You are perfect. You are innocent and kind and light. You’re what I’m not. I am a killer, Y/N.” Johnnie was beginning to grow frustrated at you not realizing who he truly was. 

“You couldn’t help it,” You insisted. “You were an innocent kid who went through an insane amount of trauma and you didn’t know any better than to feed on humans. You don’t do that now, my love. You’re perfectly okay.”

“I make you live here,” Johnnie said regretfully. “You should be out enjoying your life. You could have anyone else, blood flower. Someone that could give you everything you desire. You could have a king to your queen instead of a joker.”

Though Johnnie had lived to see modern times, he had been raised in a different time. He lived secluded, stuck in a past that wasn’t there anymore. His words were formal, but you could hear the hurt in his voice as he preached ideas he truly believed. 

“What if I don’t want that?” You asked, eyeing him. “I don’t need money, or fancy gestures, or whatever else you think a perfect man does. I need someone who shows they love me, and you do that, Johnnie. Vampire or not, I would love you either way,” You explained softly, kissing his cheek. When Johnnie didn’t respond, watching you with curious eyes, you continued. “I’ve been hurt before by men. Many times, actually. Rich human men at that.”

You moved into Johnnie’s lap, sitting so that you were facing him. You trailed a finger across his strong, clear cut jaw, feeling the smooth, cool texture that resembled stone against your own skin. Once you got to his plump lips, you planted a kiss on them before speaking. “Show me your fangs.” You commanded softly. 

Johnnie opened his mouth as asked, allowing his normally smaller fangs to grow to a healthy three inches. You went to trace the white points until your boyfriend grabbed your wrist, a dark glare in his eyes. 

“Don’t,” he bit out. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

You and Johnnie both knew that his fangs held venom, and if you were to cut your finger by accident, there would be no choice but for him to change you or leave you for dead. “What if I wanted to be changed?” You asked. 

“I’m not doing that, baby bat. Not yet. You still have a life to live.” Johnnie seemed to soften, a regretful look on his face. 

He wanted to change you. He really, really did. But he knew that once he did so, you were bound to the immortal life, forever the age you were now. He didn’t want that for you yet. You needed to live first. You ignored his words, beginning to kiss and make out with him. Despite his cold skin, Johnnie’s mouth was warm and tasted like sin and heaven mixed together. You ran your tongue across his fangs as a soft ‘hello’, until your lover grabbed your hips, causing you to moan softly. 

“I want you to show me, Johnnie,” You said lustfully. “Show me that those other men don’t matter. That you’re the one I need,” You were beginning to grow warm with arousal as you felt Johnnie’s dick harden beneath you. “Show me I’m your queen.”

“You really want that?” he asked, raising a brow as a smirk grew on his face. “You want me to make you mine? Show you what it feels like to be fucked by a vampire?”

You nodded eagerly, smashing your lips to Johnnie’s once more as he grabbed your hips, flipping so that he was now on top of you. He used his fangs to rip your shirt off in one smooth motion, smirking hungrily at your breasts. Before you knew it, Johnnie was beginning to leave hickeys all over your body, marking every curve of your skin with his print. You moaned at the sensations alighting all over your body, making your nipples pebble into hard points. 

“Johnnie,” You whimpered, hands moving to tangle in his raven hair. “I need you.”

The vampire took that as consent for him to practically rip the small shorts and panties you were wearing off. He could smell your blood through the rhythm of your pulse, and part of him wanted to take you so bad and change you into something equally as sinful as he was. Johnnie knew he couldn’t do that yet, so he opted to flick his tongue over your pubic bone and graze his fangs across your slit. 

“You’re soaked for me, blood flower.” Johnnie grumbled, licking his lips. 

“I…” You panted, already close to climaxing and your boyfriend had barely touched you. “I need you inside of me.”

Johnnie wasted no time in taking off his pants and black, button up shirt. Without another warning for you, he immediately slammed his full length into you, pounding out a furious rhythm. You groaned with pleasure at the feeling of being suddenly so full, and you moved your hands from his hair to his back, clawing him with pleasure at the sensations you were feeling. 

“Oh my god, right there, Johnnie.” You whined and whimpered when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. 

“You gonna cum, baby bat?” Your boyfriend asked you, swiping a strand of hair from your face as his own black fringe stuck to his forehead. 

You nodded and whimpered, arching your back as you desperately tried for more. Johnnie continued to pound into you, until he gave you a look that you knew meant he was close to his own orgasm. 

“On the count of three, you’re gonna cum with me, love,” Johnnie commanded. “1, 2, 3…” 

On the last number, your boyfriend immediately released his load into you, throwing his head back with a beautiful moan at the feelings taking over his own body. You also went through your own climax, whimpering and squealing as your heat clenched.  Johnnie’s sex was unlike anything you had ever experienced before; it was rough and raw and straight up fucking, but it also held a sensual, passionate note beneath the surface. 

Johnnie pulled out of you, licking his fangs with a smirk. “Did that prove it to you? Or should I go suck the fucking life out of another man who even dares to look at you?”

Over the course of your sex, Johnnie had become dominant and possessive, taking you as his own, and showing you what he was at his core: a predator. You didn’t seem to care though, for you rolled on top of him on your sweaty sheets, peppering kisses across his face. 

“I don’t want a king, or a castle, or anything else,” You told him. “I want you, Johnnie. Forever.”

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @idek3000hi @melguilbert

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[ever-4sunlight]

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 (𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏)

Includes: dottore, pantalone, childe, arlecchino

warnings: Sexuallity headcannons (my own opinion) and very bad English, mention of yandere actions in arlecchinos part

pronouns: none

1/2

𝑫𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒆

He is... Lets just say a little weird but talks much he will tell you about who he experimented on all night long you wont be able to sleep

If he is tired he gets annoyed easily so dont talk much when hes not in the mood

hes a smart person why should he do what you say? He will command you around

He will 'accidentally' test some of his syringes on you when your sleeping

He wont have much time to spend with you he has to work on his experiments! Nothing is more important then his job

If your to lonely he will send on of his clones to cuddle with you while he can work without feeling bad for not spending time with you

He is totally against kids why should he raise some idiots that will be disrespectful when they grow up?

Im pretty sure that when he ever has free time he wont tell you how much he loves you but will show you how much he loves you

If he hugs you his hands will be placed on your waist if he has time to touch you he will touch you

He will give you everything you want (no child) not personally of course he has to work so a clone will do that for him

possible Sexuallity: confusing me as much as kazuha. _.

His love language is probably: physical touch

𝑷𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆

Hes tthe richest harbinger of all he will get you whatever you want it doesn't matter how much it costs everything for his love

He is working must of the time so he will send you little gifts

If he ever has free time he will probably go out with you doing whatever you want shopping or going to a restaurant he doesn't care he will go there with you

He would probably buy you a kitty or a puppy against the boredom when hes working

Buy you every type of clothing you want it doesn't matter to him how much it costs he has the big money

Hes not completely against kids but he's working to much to help you raising them and giving up his job is no option so think about it

He wont have much time to spend with you but he will feel bad leaving you alone all the time

As long as your safe everything is alright so he doesn't have to worry

If he comes back from work he will always have a gift for you and the hours you've waited

If he hugs your he wil lay you on his chest and just stroke your hair talking until you sleep

Possible Sexuallity: bi sexual

His love language is probably: gifts and words of affirmation

𝑪𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒆/𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒂

Here we go with our all loved ed sheeran also known as tartaglia he is joking around like a little kid he loves you more then everything in this world

He is definitely not the smartest of the harbingers after all he is the 11th fatui harbinger the weakest and the dumbest? Im not calling him dumb im just not calling him smart

He is a harbinger he has practically no time like the other ones T-T

But i swear to you if he has a free day he will attack you with affection cuddling you for hours and telling you how much he loves you not letting go until he has to work again

If none of his fellow harbingers are near he will talk about his brother and his sister while holding you in his arms

He will hold you by your waist having his chin on your shoulder whispering into your ear how much he loves you

He will Probably never tell you what things he has done because hes scared that you will hate him for the bad things hes done

He wants kids! 100% he just wants to see mini versions of you running around (if your male just adopted or just think in omega verse:D)

His sexuallity is probably: im not sure... Bi or pan?

His love language is probably: physical touch and gifts

𝑨𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐

There wwe go with or harbinger mommy shes not only sexy but overall just the perfect definition of toxic<3 but we still love her and she loves you too!

She's VERY possessive and if i say VERY I MEAN VERY she gets jealous by having you just talk to someone else thats not her your hers after all

Shes cold... Not only are her hands cold but shes just someone who barely shows emotions but no worries! She still loves you

If she comes home its late and your probably already asleep but she just cant help but lean your head against her chest when she lays down beside you she just wants to have her lover close!

If you disobey her your probably getting locked into your room to keep you away fron the 'danger' outside

The only person she trusts you with is herself obviously shes the one she can trust the most shes a father! She knows what she's doing

When ttalking about kids shes neutral... Just keep the screaming thing away... But at the same time its hers and it needs protection and care

Shes not talkative so dont annoy her to much!

Her sexuallity is probably: i would actually say shes a lesbian._. But for the more judgmental audience i say bi

Her love language is probably: acts of service

[torialefay]

this may be kind of an unusual question so feel free to ignore it, but i tend to make lots of links and associations of concepts/situations with music and stuff and so i'm curious, what are some songs that you'd pick to describe what it would be like to be in a relationship with chan? or some songs that suit his placements (for example, i think work song by hozier is peak scorpio venus devotion level haha)

okay i LOVE this question!!! (also currently in a hozier phase so i love that you brought up that song.) if you have any other recs, pls send them my way, but here's some that had come to mind:

✨🎶 Dating Channie Sounds Like 🎶✨

the friendship/relationship stage:

i don't think it's just me who thinks that chan is gonna have to know & be friends with someone before progressing to a romantic relationship. i think he could definitely pine over someone for a while and be too scared to say anything. and then if something DID happen between the two of you, you would have to hide it for a pretty longgg time. that's why i chose these 2 songs :)

• human - dodie ft tom walker ✨

• hush hush - the band camino✨

actual committed relationship phase:

• medicine - royal sugar ✨ this gives me such new-relationship, pent-up sexual tension vibes. this man would not be able to stop thinking ab you sexually when you first get together... 100%. sex w/ him is likely initially more fun, like in this song, but once he gets to KNOW you, it gets wayyyy deeper

• tenerife sea - ed sheeran ✨ this one might be a cop-out bc chan has sung it multiple times on channie's room but i couldn't NOT put it in here. moving past the superficial, this song paints such a new, mesmerizing love story. you are elated you finally found your person.

• mess is mine - vance joy ✨ i'm sorry but the lyrics "this body is yours and mine" & "now your mess is mine" is so channie-coded to me. he is offering himself up to you. anything you want from him is yours & he will take on all of your hurt

• fire and the flood AND lay it on me - vance joy ✨ these were just so all-encompassing, i couldn't not include them. you become the most consuming part of his life. he quite literally can't go a day without thinking of you and how fucking attached his heart is to yours. you are his everything and only thing. "i always feel you in my blood" & "your love's always finding me out."

• until you - ahi ✨ this song isn't as relevant NOW, but it really throws me into a pre-debut channie love story tbh. bless his little heart 💔 i couldn't NOT include it bc it's still beautiful.

• anointed - miguel AND religion - lana del rey ✨ these have the same purpose, so i'm including them together. when channie is truly in love with you, he won't fuck you- he fucking worships you. well, you worship each other in the bedroom. and i feel this a million times. he needs something deeper and he needs to feel consumed in it. praising each other until you physically have no stamina left in your body.

tough times/drifting apart/ fights:

sorry but i had to add a couple of angsty songs that i could totally see playing out in a relationship w channie </3

• fleeting love - royal sugar ✨ i 100% see this song being about your struggles with a long distance relationship. not being able to work anything out, but also not being able to let them go. "in the elevator with your passport... goodbye is 10 floors down." you just want him so badly, but you don't know you can do this. you were so happy to have him, even if just for a little bit.

• berenstein - the band camino ✨ chan always talks about alternate universes, so i had to add this one in. the line "at another place in time, you were infinitely mine," it makes me think so much about if you were perfect with channie, and you both knew that... but you simply couldn't be with him because of his idol life. but you knew that somewhere out there in a parallel universe, he wasn't an idol, and you were together like you were meant to be :((((

bonus song:

this song reminds me SO MUCH of chris. the first time i heard it, i instantly thought of him. it isn't a love song by any means, it just makes me think of him && his life/all he's been through ❤️

• time's eyes - riley pearce ✨

if anyone has a song they automatically think of with channie, pls pls pls let me knowwww!!!

[lastoneout]

Making this it's own post bcs I don't want to detract from the racism discussion on the last post I reblogged(and also this is rambly as hell, sorry) but like I always find the critique that "x genre of music is only about drinking, sex, and violence" wild bcs....almost ALL music in every genre is about that?? Like with rap/hip-hop it ofc this argument ties directly back to racism but even with other genres that get shit on like country people are like "they just sing about getting beers with the boys and driving their trucks" like???? Yeah, I could grab 50 songs from other genres that are about that and beloved regardless??? Getting beers with the boys is a fucking cherished meme on this webbed site!! Or that one Ed Sheeran song people roast all the time like "how dare he write a song about finding his girl's body attractive" bro, are you new here. 99.9% of popular music is "my partner is really hot and I want to have sex with them" and that's like the ONE song of his I know of that's just about fucking like he writes about other stuff, people just ignore those bcs it doesn't fit the narrative of him being a shallow misogynist everyone here loves to drag around and beat like a dead horse.

Why is this a bad thing when people you don't like do it, but fine when the people you do like do it, huh? Hozier is one of the most popular artists out there rn, this site worships the ground he walks on, and yeah his music has a lot of layers of poetic meaning but a lot of it is just about sex and falling in love and violence and drinking. The two are not mutually exclusive!!

Which is kinda the root of it, them not being mutually exclusive, bcs imo even if a genre was entirely saturated with songs exclusively about drinking and sex(which no genre is, you just haven't gone looking for the other stuff), I just don't think that's a problem or means the music is bad or less artistically meaningful?? I genuinely don't think there's a damn thing wrong with writing a song or twelve about finding someone attractive or talking about the violence a lot of people live with every day of their lives or even just churning out a fun party anthem for people to play while they get white girl wasted at a tailgate. Who cares if the art is shallow, why does it have to be "deep" to be worthy of respect, and why does deep and worthy of respect mean "no sex, violence, or drinking", three things that have been part of the human experience since we fucking became humans!

Honestly if you really are looking down on rap and country for being about sex and drinking and violence I want you to ask yourself why you think some artists should be denied the right to write about shit everyone else is writing about all the damn time to massive critical acclaim. Why should black people and rural poor people and women(bcs this is also a critique I heard a LOT aimed at female pop stars) be denied the right to explore the full spectrum of human experience and emotion in their art. Why do they HAVE to tell stories about something else to be taken seriously when their fellow artists can churn out entire albums full of songs about sex and violence and partying and not have anyone bat a fucking eye.

And, on top of that, please ask yourself why you think that something can't be deep while being about sex, drugs, partying, and violence. Bcs that is some fucking discount moral panic bullshit that needs to get knocked out of your head before it festers and you start insisting people who like horror are weird because violence can't be art.

[pink-amethyst-tarot]

Have you given up on love? This is for you - Pick A Pile

take a deep breath and choose which pile you think is the best for you

I know I channeled these songs but I'm pro-boycott

If you would like to help out those in need in Palestine, you can click here.

P I L E 1 ~ P I L E 2 ~ P I L E 3

P I L E 1 - Go Through Something To Get Somewhere

Three of Wands, Page of Cups, Four of Wands, The Lovers

Signs this reading is for you: 111, 11:11, classic books, jewelry (especially rings), money/coins, coffee, tea

You about to be mad at me.... Thing is, this big love you're looking for can't come in right now. It's being blocked because you still need to work on yourself. I feel like some of y'all already knew I was gon say that anyway! Fall in love with yourself and not for the sake of getting closer to falling in love because then your effort is meaningless. Do it for you and if you don't want to do it for you, figure out why. Do the shadow work. You need you more than you know. Figuring out what is so lovable about you will show you what you really deserve in a relationship, not what you have always thought that you deserve.

Once you do, it's going to happen when you least expect it and when it does you will be swept away in this amazing love. The kind of love that changes you for the better. The kind of love that you grow old with. The kind of love that you have always wanted but never believed that you were good enough to have. This person is your soulmate and they want to be with you just as much you want to be with them. Don't let something good pass you by and then you have to wait another entire lifetime to get it again. The first step starts with you.

Also, you cannot be afraid of change if you want this to work. You can't expect thing to change while everything stays the same. Accept that change can be uncomfortable, challenging, and sometimes, downright hellish. You have to go through something to get somewhere.

Channeled Song: End Game by Taylor Swift ft. Future and Ed Sheeran

I wanna be your end game // I wanna be your first string

Thank you for participating in this reading; if you would like a more personal one, you can click here.

If you would like to help out those in need in Palestine, you can click here.

P I L E 2 - It's Gotta Get Bad Before It Gets Good

Wheel of Fortune, Six of Pentacles, The Emperor, King of Cups, Eight of Swords

Signs this reading is for you: Heart Chakra, 222, frogs, owls, hears, butterflies

You're heart is still broken from your last relationship and you're convinced that there isn't anyone who will give you the love that you want or deserve. There is someone for you who want to take care of you and be your rock. This love that wants to come in is very mature and long-lasting but it can't come in if you don't try to move on. I know it's easier said than done but at some point you have to choose yourself; at some point you have to choose your happiness.

You could also be someone that is trying to ignore how you feel about the end of a relationship so that you can get to the good part. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but, it doesn't work like that. You have to go through to get through it.

All in all, you may feel stuck or trapped by your emotions but the way out is more obvious than you think. Maybe not easy but definitely obvious. Once you get through the bad part, there is good ahead for you.

Channeled Song - Better In Time by Leona Lewis

thought I couldn't live without you // it's gonna hurt when it heals, too // it'll all get better in time // and even though I really love you // I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to // It'll all get better in time

P I L E 3 - You're not looking for love but love is looking for you

Ten of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, Nine of Cups

Signs this reading may be for you: pink, boy bands, joking and laughter, pickles, oranges, Vaseline weird dreams

So, off the bat, this reading feels different from the other two because it feels like it doesn't matter what your reason for giving up on love is because love is coming your way, whether you like it or not! You have probably been through a lot in love and in life but you never gave up. You have always keep going despite what you have been through but that may have led you to feel that some things just can't have your attention right now because shit needs to get done. Great news! The shit is done! You're ready! This person is coming in quickly and is someone that supports you and wants to be the person that you come to when life is hard. This person is a dream come true. You may have not be actively focusing on what you want in a person, but sometimes our hearts speak louder to the universe than we do. I can see your guides kind of seeing you get this and you being surprised but your guides are looking all smug like "hah! bet you didn't see that comin did ya!?" Even though you're reading this, you may still be surprised when it happens because you may not 100% believe this reading. But it's true and it's yours! Love is on the way, baybee!

Channeled Song - Case 143 by Stray Kids

why do I keep getting attracted? // 자석 같이 끌려가 // I cannot explain this reaction // 이것밖에 one-four-three // Why do I keep getting attracted? // 네 모습만 떠올라 // I cannot explain this emotion // one-four-three I love you! //

translated lyrics:

why do I keep getting attracted? // I'm drawn to you like a magnet // Why do I keep getting attracted? // you're the only one on my mind // I cannot explain this emotion // one-four-three, I love you! //

Thank you for participating in this reading; if you would like a more personal one, you can click here.

If you would like to help out those in need in Palestine, you can click here

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

[yurunivo]

Sypnosis: accompanying your boyfriend to the gym!

TW:fluff, crack(?), not proofread, suggestive, no use of y/n, OOC, modern au, english is not my first language

Characters: Childe x Fem!reader

Ed sheeran

(NAME)

ANSWER PLS

IM CUMMING TO YOUR HOUSE

haha get it

ANYWAY BE READY 😈

delivered 10 mins ago

You were sprawled out in bed, your limbs practically dislocated from your body because of how spread out they were. You heard the notification from your phone, however you were too tired to answer it. Besides, your alarm didn't ring so you had the great idea of spending the day in bed all day. So, you did the thing any normal person would do, falling asleep again. It was just going to be a small nap anyway.

Meanwhile, a very familiar Ed Sheeran wannabe was at your door. He fumbled with the extra keys for your apartment that you gave him (which he totally didn't beg for). He finally opened the door, walking into the house. He immediately ran to the bedroom to see you, only to see you sound asleep. Feeling slightly bad, he slowly closed the door to your bedroom and went to your kitchen. As the good boyfriend he is, he decides to make breakfast for you! How sweet! (You would've slapped him hard if you woke up now).

He looked through your cabinets, mumbling to himself as there was nothing that was healthy, but worked with what he had anyway.

After finishing making breakfast, he wiped a non existent sweat off his brow, grinning to himself. He put all the food in a tray and began walking to your room. Placing the tray on your bedside table, he thought of a way to wake you up. He didn't feel like using that many methods, until thinking of a devious idea. He would probably come out looking like purple guy from fnaf from the amount of bruises he'll get from you, but it was the quickest way he could think of on the top of his head.

Searching the Samsung homecoming alarm sound on YouTube, he blasted it on full volume as he watched you wake up with a cold sweat, your eyes filling with dread.

"What the actual fu- CHILDE?!" You yelled, instinctively kicking him in the arm. He held onto it in pain, wincing at the amount of force you put in to kick him.

"For someone who doesn't like to work out, your hits hurt like hell," he sweat dropped, looking at you in some kind of awe, yet also in fear.

"You scared me!" "I did not!" "Yes you did!" You both accused each other.

"I sent you a message like twenty minutes ago that I was gonna come, didn't you see it?!" He argued back as you took your phone and frantically went through your messages as your mouth formed an 'o'.

"Well, I was sleeping!" You retorted back.

"WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK SLEEPS TILL 10 AM?!"

"I DO DUMBASS!" You held onto your throat as you started coughing from yelling too loud. You cut the conversation short and went to the bathroom, coughing your life out on the sink. Once it downed down, you brushed your teeth and went back into your bedroom, your voice too hoarse to continue arguing, luckily he understood.

You found the tray of breakfast that he made for you and placed it on your lap, slightly grateful for his actions. You held your spoon and ate agonizingly slowly just to annoy him, but he took your spoon away, and started feeding you himself. You couldn't really bring yourself to argue so you just accepted the not asked for princess treatment.

"So," you said while eating, "why did you come all the way here?"

"Can't a boyfriend visit his wonderful girlfriend without any reason?" He exaggerated. You didn't look amused in the slightest. He cleared his throat as he prepared to say his words.

"Wanna go to the gy-" "No." You finished his sentence.

"Why not??"

"Because I don't want to," you replied back.

He thought for a moment as an imaginary light bulb lit up in his head.

"I'll buy you (favorite food) today!"

As much as you don't want to go to the gym, you couldn't really turn down the offer, so you nodded. His face lit up to a smile as you got up from your bed and looked for an outfit to change in. He went out of the room to let you change, even if he has seen you naked many times before. He picked up his duffel bag that he left by the front door and walked to your bedroom door and placed it there. He waited for a few minutes before you walked out of your room. You placed a few things of yours in his bag like extra clothes, deodorant, a yoga mat and a towel.

You went passed him and got to fill your water bottle with ice and water before putting it in your bag. Taking your phone, you were ready to go.

Finally reaching your destination, you both walked out of the parking area and into the gymnasium. You went to your won separate activities as he did and laid out your yoga mat. You got on Pinterest and went to your boards to look at the few stretches and exercises you saved. You put on your headphones and go on your Spotify playlist.

It was a weird playlist, essentially since it was a shared one. On one hand, you have Childe's, which were just phonk songs, some that you knew and others that you never heard of. While on the other hand, was (favorite musice genre), which was yours. You could choose another playlist, but you didn't want to go through the extra hassle.

You started to do your stretches, paying attention to every step of everything. Luckily, most of them were simple enough for you to finish. Childe's phonk songs kind of ruined the vibe, but your songs made up for it. Most of the exercises were small, so you could finish your whole board in around an hour and thirty minutes. You took a glance at Childe, only to deadpan as you saw that he completed majority of the machines. You figured that you could do some light running on the treadmill and weight lifting, since you were done with the exercises from Pinterest.

As you went on the treadmill, you heard Childe whistle from behind you.

"Nice ass darling," he said light heartedly. You couldn't really help but laugh a little before saying thanks.

You continued working out, only lifting a few small weights. Drinking a bit of water, you decided that you were done for the day. You looked at Childe to see him doing some stretches and walked up to him.

"What are you doing?" You asked. You thought he was done with everything.

"After workout exercises," he said with a stupid grin on his face. You wanted him to wipe it right off his stupid face, but you suppose you could wait until you were both in bed.

He got off from doing sit ups and got in a position to do push ups as he smiled at you, obviously going to ask for a favour. You rolled your eyes at how obvious he was, but gave in anyway.

"What do you need help with?" You asked, taking your phone in hand.

"Count my push ups for me, pretty please darling?"

You hummed. Taking your phone and water bottle in hand, you went over to his back and sat on it. You slightly grinded on his muscular back, giggling to yourself as he looked at you.

You suddenly got an idea in mind. You went to your camera app and started to record.

"Can I ask a favour?" You looked at him as he nodded, counting the pushups in your head for now.

"Can you say my name between every pushup you do? I want to make a video." He raised his eyebrow at your words but still did it for you. You counted the push ups still, smirking to yourself as you created the perfect video for yourself.

After you counted till fifty, he stopped doing his pushups. He took the towel that you gave him and wiped the sweat off of his body.

"What was the video for princess?" He asked as you looked at him like you were waiting for him to.

"Free whimpering audio," you said simply. His eyes slightly widened at how blunt you were, but he quickly returned to his original self.

"You could've just asked darling! We can make one in-" you cut him off by putting your water bottle in his mouth. He drank a little from it before taking it away from his mouth and bringing you in for a hug. He kissed your cheek but you swatted him away because he was sweaty (even though you were too). Some people cringed in disgust at the two of you while others cooed at your 'young love'.

Idk how to do dialogue

[nonasuch]

Can I, in fact, get you started on Yesterday? That's the movie premised on everyone just forgetting everything about the Beatles one day right?

Yes, and it drove me nuts because that’s a great premise! But it was totally wasted in a way that I found extra frustrating, because they only needed to slightly reshuffle the existing pieces and give the love interest some kind of coherent characterization, and they just. did not do that.

So like. The premise of the movie is that Jack, the main character, is a struggling musician who gets hit by a car and knocked unconscious at the exact moment of a mysterious global blackout. When he wakes up in the hospital, he discovers that he is the only person on Earth who remembers the existence of the Beatles.

It takes him a bit to realize this: he quotes When I’m Sixty-Four to his best friend Ellie at the hospital and she just gives him a weird look. When he plays a bit of Yesterday while hanging out with friends, they all freak out about how good his new song is, and he realizes that something is Weird.

There’s a fun scene where he frantically googles Beatles-related terms and comes up empty. “Beatles” turns up bugs and cars. Ringo Starr? Never heard of him. We find out that the band Oasis never existed either, and over the course of the movie there are a few more disappearances thrown in as jokes: Coca-Cola, cigarettes, and Harry Potter have also ceased to exist, or never were.

So Jack, who knows most of the Beatles catalogue by heart, and is a decent musician, decides to re-record them. And they’re instant hits, and he starts getting money and fame and record deals thrown at him, and hanging out with Ed Sheeran (played by Ed Sheeran), and going on talk shows and so on. The movie rapidly turns into a parable about the cost of fame, not letting success change you, remembering what’s more important than money and power, etc etc.

It’s just like. kind of lazy about it? and the romance plot feels both incoherent and slapdash, because Ellie has no personality and no comprehensible motivations.

Like, she’s been Jack’s music manager since they were teenagers, and she’s been convinced he was destined for greatness since she saw him play Wonderwall at a school talent show, but she also is weirdly convinced that she’s not good enough for him even before he becomes super famous. But Jack never actually stops being into her, even at the Peak Hubris part of the plot, and he eventually gives it all up and tells the world he didn’t write any of the songs as part of a big dramatic love confession. Except it’s never really clear what was holding either of them back in the first place, or why a dramatic love confession was even necessary.

So, here is how I would fix the movie.

First, the romance plot feels super tacked on anyway so let’s just resolve it earlier and give the poor girl an actual job in the plot. I’d have Jack sit Ellie down fairly early, after he’s released the first few songs and they’ve blown up but before the Fame Spiral starts, and say:

okay. look. I know this sounds nuts but either that accident caused the most specific brain damage in the history of the world, or I remember a different version of reality than everyone else, because I did not write these songs. I just remember them, and no one else does.

And the movie did actually set up a way for him to prove this, but they never used it! for some fucking reason! Because Wonderwall is the song that convinced Ellie that Jack was destined for musical greatness, and Wonderwall has also been erased. Which creates an opportunity, which the movie did not take, for a really effective scene where Jack asks Ellie what song he sang at the talent show. And she can’t answer him, which freaks her out because that’s a core memory! Thats the reason she’s so devoted to Jack in the first place!

So he starts playing her the song. And she knows she’s never heard it before, but she also knows that on some level, she recognizes it.

So from that point onwards, Ellie and Jack can be in cahoots, sharing the secret, which allows the romance to develop a lot more effectively and convincingly, and puts Ellie in a better position to talk Jack down from Fame Hubris, and allows Jack to remind Ellie that he’s not actually too good or too famous for her, because she knows he’s actually just the beneficiary of a deeply weird cosmic accident.

Also, there’s a better way to resolve the romance plot. Ellie has bafflingly low self-esteem, for reasons that are never explained, so like. please explain that, movie. But since half the romance plot is just Ellie going “I’m not good enough for you!” I do have a better resolution than what the movie did.

The only Big Dramatic Gesture Jack does comes at the very end of the movie, and it’s boring and doesn’t actually have anything much to do with Ellie — he already hates being famous by then, he wants out regardless. He needs a gesture that’s actually about Ellie, and allows them to be together and in cahoots again for the rest of the Price of Fame plot.

Which, again, the movie laid the groundwork for at the beginning, and never used.

I’d have Jack tell Ellie that he knows — is baffled by? but knows — that she thinks she ought to leave him for his own good, and that she thinks his music career is more important than her. To prove it’s not, he’s going to give her a song. A Beatles song he’s never going to record, never going to play, for anyone but her. A song that used to be one of the most famous songs in the world, but is only ever going to be theirs, hers and his, from now on.

He plays her When I’m Sixty-Four.

That does the trick: they’re together through the rest of the movie, and decide how to get Jack out of the Fame Trap together, and retire into happy obscurity together.

There is one other optional change, but it would require buy-in from Paul McCartney.

There’s already a scene in the movie — one of the best bits of the whole thing, honestly — where Jack meets an elderly John Lennon, who has never been famous and is perfectly content with his life. I think a nice epilogue would have Jack track down Paul, and find him in his back garden, planting flowers and beatifically happy.

After a short conversation in which Paul appears to have no memory of ever ever having been a Beatle, Jack leaves Paul to enjoy his retirement.

After he’s gone, as the camera pulls away and the movie ends, Paul starts to whistle When I’m Sixty-Four to himself.

[i-am-dulaman]

Why I hate Golf

This is the Takapuna Golf Course in Auckland, New Zealand.

It is in the middle of Auckland's north shore suburbs.

According to their website, they are one of the most popular golf courses in Aotearoa and have an annual visitor count of 60,000 people. They don't clarify if that is individual unique visitors or recounts, but lets be generous and say its unique visitors. 60,000, not bad.

This is Eden Park Stadium (the little square on the right) and oh look there's another golf course on the left there, ignore that one for now.

(the above two images are at the same scale)

Eden park has a capacity of 50,000 people. Ed Sheeran was here earlier this year and sold out the two nights he performed. That's 100,000 people in a weekend all in that little red square. 60,000 in a year no longer seems so great.

60,000 people per year is also only 160 people per day. 160 visitors to a golf course that is 470,000 square meters in area. Now the average property size in Auckland is 500 square meters. So the golf course takes up the area of 940 houses.

940 homes worth of land for 160 people.

And that is Auckland housing sizes. Auckland is horribly designed and very spread out. Let's instead look at Barcelona, considered one of the most well designed cities in the world.

This is Takapuna golf course side by side with Barcelona

(The scale is as close to being equal as I could get them, I don't have ArcGIS data for Barcelona so had to use google maps)

Each red square overlaid on Takapuna Golf Course is exactly 133m in height/width, the same size as each city block in Barcelona, road width included.

There are 23 Barcelona blocks worth of space in Takapuna Golf Course with room to spare. About 640 people live in each Barcelona block, that's 15000 people.

15000 peoples worth of homes and living spaces, sacrificed so 160 people can play golf in a day.

Now this is just one golf course in a big city, what's 15,000 people to a city of 1.6 million, who cares right?

Here is a wider shot of Auckland City.

Those red dots? They're golf courses.

There are 16 golf courses inside the metropolitan area of Auckland City (4 not pictured as Auckland is too spread out to get one clean screenshot). Keep in mind these are not rural golf courses out in the country, these are right beside housing developments and shopping malls. And for the record I could not find a single golf course in the Barcelona metropolitan area, you had to go out into the country before finding one.

So lets multiply that 15,000 people by 16 golf courses?

240,000 people.

With Auckland City's golf courses you could house 240,000 people comfortably with some good urban planning.

That is why I hate golf.

[baseballbitch116]

However Long It Takes - Chapter Three

Klaus Mikaelson x oc slow burn series

Charlotte Fell was so apprehensive about going to this Mikaelson ball. Why did Klaus even invite her? Well, there's only one way to find out...

Word Count: 2280

Warnings: Brief mention of violence

Masterlist | However Long It Takes Masterlist

Chapter Three - The Ball

You arrived alone at the ball at 7:15, hesitating before going in. You were meeting the others there, Elena had already arrived with the Salvatore's and Caroline. With a long exhale, you walked inside the large mansion and took in your surroundings. Music was playing and there were people everywhere. You didn't recognize most people, and soon realized that most of them were human. So a large portion of the town was invited... But did they all receive a note or dress? Probably not, but suddenly your importance seemed to lessen. You fiddled with your fingers as you slowly entered further into the mansion, looking for a familiar face.

The first face you recognized, however, was none other than Klaus himself. You locked eyes from across the room, where he stood chatting up the mayor. His face fell into a more serious look, but not angry. He left the mayor's side and approached you, and you physically felt your stomach twist and your heart drop. He stopped less than three feet in front of you, just a few inches taller than you in your heels and he smiled what may have been the first genuine smile you've seen thus far. "Good evening," he greets you in a solemn, deep voice. You open your mouth to respond, but words fail you.

"I... need a drink." you mutter and hurry away. You feel embarrassed, wondering why you even came to this stupid ball in the first place.

The next fifteen minutes dragged on until everyone was gathered to the main room and the entire Mikaelson family stood over everyone on the stairs. You made eye contact with Klaus, who stood near Elijah as he spoke.

He held a drink and looked solemn and serious, but his gaze was locked on you. Elijah asked that everyone find a partner and go to the ballroom, and you watched as Klaus downed his drink and headed right in your direction. Oh crap. You started walking toward the ballroom, hoping to observe and not participate, but Klaus catches you and stands in front of you.

"May I?" he asks, offering you his hand. You look at his large hand then back to his eyes, before giving in and nodding, hesitantly placing your smaller hand into his palm. He grins and begins guiding you into the ballroom. Something about holding Klaus's hand and being led by him... felt both the most safe and most in danger you have ever felt. You felt like no one in this room could hurt you... but also knew that he was the most dangerous one in here.

The Ed Sheeran song began and he stood beside you, taking the lead in the waltz. Neither of you speak, but he is watching you as you dance. You follow his lead and then he spins you and you face him, placing your other hand on his right shoulder and he cups your smaller gloved right hand in his own. He continues to look into your eyes, his face only inches away now, and you feel small under his intense gaze. And yet, you can't bring yourself to break his eye contact. His other hand is on your back, and you feel it slide a little lower from your shoulder blade to closer to your waist. The feeling of his fingers touching your body sends shivers down your spine, something you wonder if he felt.

"I'm glad you came," he finally says something, and you look down toward your feet to cover the small smile that forms on your lips. You don't respond, unsure of what to say. When you finally meet his eye again, he is smirking. He knows what he is doing. "You look ravishing in that dress." Your stomach turns with anxiety at his compliment and word choice, a blush warming your cheeks.

"Thank you," is all you say, once again being failed by your words.

"You know, you're quite the dancer." he remarks, and you are rather surprised. You didn't feel like a very good dancer, it was not something you particularly enjoyed. But right now, dancing with him... This was enjoyable.

"Well, I was in the Miss Mystic pageant last year. Against my will." you inform him, and he grins.

"I know." You look up at him in surprise. How did he know that? Has he been asking people about you? Your eyes drop from his intense blue ones down to his full pink lips twisted upward in a grin. He is blatantly flirting with you. Why?

The dance ended and he let go of you, but you looked at each other for a moment longer. "Come with me," he says, and he starts guiding you out of the ballroom.

He slowly leads you further away from the party and you grow anxious, both from fear and interest. He opens a door and steps aside, holding it open for you. You hesitantly walk in, looking around. It is some kind of art room, full of paintings, drawings, sketches. "What is all this?" you ask, taking it all in.

"My collection. Or some of it, at least." he allows the door to close behind himself and you are now alone together. You swallow a gulp and focus your eyes on the painting hanging in front of you. You can feel his eyes on you, but don't dare turn around to look. You notice how the sketches seem like they were done here, not a piece of a collection from another artist.

"Wait, are these yours?" you are stunned that he would have a hobby like this, given his reputation. He comes to stand by your side and nods, his face the most calm and serious you've seen.

"Yeah. Um, some of my landscapes are hanging in various places, not that anyone would notice." he trails off, almost seeming vulnerable. This is the first thing he's ever said to you that didn't sound arrogant, and you could feel something in his demeanor that had shifted. You ducked your head to hide the shy smile that formed on your lips and continued scanning his work.

"These are incredible," you mutter, really impressed. After a short pause, you hear clinking glasses and it sounds like someone is about to give a speech. "Should probably get back," you remark, and he opens the door for you. You shyly smile at him and walk out, then follow him back to the main area.

~~~

He went off to be with his family as Elijah toasted and everyone shared a drink. You tried to stop looking at him or for him, to find something else to occupy your mind. You went over to grab a refreshment from one of the waiters and ended up beside Rebekah Mikaelson. You'd seen her a few times before, but never really spoken to her. She looks over at you from where she stood, looks you up and down, but says nothing. You are intimidated by her immense beauty, and the dark green ball gown she is wearing makes her even more stunning than normal.

"I love your dress," you finally say something after casually sipping on your champagne. She looks back to you, a look of surprise on her face. She looks like she is trying to read your mind, like she doesn't believe you're truly complimenting her.

"Thank you," she finally responds after what felt like an eternity. "I like yours." she exchanges the compliment, and you blush. You don't dare mention who gave you the dress.

"Thank you. I don't think I've ever worn anything this nice before." you remark, chuckling. "I don't feel myself." she smiles and shrugs.

"It suits you," is all she says, and you return the smile.

"Do you like this sort of thing? Balls?" you make small talk, finding yourself pleasantly enjoying her company.

"I do. I always have. We used to attend so many, a few centuries ago, when they were common. I do miss that." she explains. You are envious that she has lived through so many eras. You'd love to hear her stories.

"What was your favorite time period?" you ask, taking a step closer, intrigued. She seems pleased by your interest and takes a moment to think.

"They all had their good and bad, but I greatly appreciated the 20's." You could absolutely see her rocking out in the 20's Great Gatsby style. "Excuse me, my brother is looking for me." Rebekah leaves her glass with the waiter and heads over to Elijah. You decide to head outside for some fresh air, feeling overwhelmed by all of the different emotions you have been feeling tonight. You take a side door and end up on a back patio of some sort, where a horse is settled in an enclosed area. You are immediately excited and cautiously walk over to the large animal. You pet its mane and take in its beauty, admiring the elegant stallion.

"You like horses?" A voice you now recognize as Klaus asks, and you turn to look over your shoulder, watching him walk over to you. You smile softly and nod, returning your gaze to the beautiful creature.

"Always have. They're so majestic... intelligent. I've always wanted one." You look over to see him smiling as he listens. "So why did you invite me anyway?" you finally get the courage to ask.

"I fancy you," he responds blatantly, without any hesitation. Your eyes go wide and you stare at him, waiting for him to laugh or do something to show that he was not serious. "Is that so hard to believe?" he asks when you say nothing. His expression is soft and solemn, he looks very genuine. "Yes," is all you can muster up to respond.

"Why? You are... – you're beautiful. You're strong, you're full of life..." he trails off. "I enjoy you." he grins, but it is not his usual arrogant grin – this is sincere, kind.

"I... thank you," you stutter, tucking the loose hair behind your ear. He continues to grin at you for a long moment, making you anxious under his gaze. He is intense, unlike anyone you have ever met before. He's not a shy little boy who dances around his feelings or tries to play it cool. He's honest, which caught you off guard, given his reputation for being merciless and cruel. Maybe this was one big joke? But what would be the point of that? Neither of you speak for a minute or two, but it is not awkward. You enjoy the peace of the wind blowing in the trees and the sound of glasses and chattering off in the distance.

"Ya know uh, horses are the opposite of people... They're loyal," he starts, chuckling in an ironic sort of way, before continuing. "My father hunted me for a thousand years and the closest he ever came was the day he killed my favorite horse... He severed its neck with a sword, as a warning." he explained. You watched him speak as he looked at the horse, listening intently. He finally meets your eye again, searching your expression like he was trying to decipher what you were thinking.

"I'm sorry," you say softly, reaching out and touching his forearm. He looks down at your hand briefly then back to your eyes, and his blue ones look sorrowful. His father really did a number on him... Maybe he's not so evil after all. Maybe he's just... broken.

~~~

You called it a night shortly thereafter, growing exhausted from all of the overwhelming emotions of the evening. You said a polite goodbye to Klaus before you left and thanked Elijah, then Matt drove you home. You made small talk about the evening, trying to leave out the parts that included Klaus and you noticed he tried not to mention how he was Rebekah's date. You let it be, respecting his privacy as he did yours. You practically threw yourself into your bed after getting out of your gown. You were emotionally exhausted, and the heels you wore didn't help with your physical exhaustion. Curling up into your blankets, your mind wandered, replaying the events of the evening. No matter how hard you tried, the only thing you could really think about was Klaus. The way you danced together, how his hand felt on your back. What he told you about his father... Why was he so different with you than everyone else? Elena and her friends hated him, but you couldn't really see why. Of course, you know that he tried to kill her and he did kill her aunt. Yes, those were horrible and unforgivable. But you'd never know he was like that based off of how he has been interacting with you.

–

You awoke the next morning to the sound of a knock at your front door. You trudged out of bed and rushed to get it, but no one was there. All you found was a folded piece of paper. Another invitation? You took it inside and went back to bed before unfolding it. A gasp escapes your lips as you stare at the beautiful sketch of yourself standing beside the horse from last night. The sketch was amazing, it looked just like you. There was nothing written on either side, but you knew exactly who this was from. This was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for you, by far.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you wondered what this meant. You envisioned Klaus sitting in his drawing room, sketching the details of your face with the intent of surprising you. Butterflies soared through your stomach against your will, feeling yourself swooning over the gesture. It was official now, there was no denying it. You have feelings for Klaus. And from the looks of it... The feeling is mutual.

~~~

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

Let me know if you would like to be tagged when the next chapter is posted!

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Hi, sorry for suddenly sending another ask after a long ask. It's the anon complaining about her music and I just wanted to say. I realized after I send the ask that I was kinda going soft because I was in a "need to hold back or swifties will kill me" mode. And you know what? I don't need to hold back.

Taylor Swift is literally the female equivalent of the "white man with guitar" that people have shit on like Ed Sheeran or Shawn Mendes. But somehow she gets to praised as the greatest songwriter of our generation despite mediocrity and inconsistent lyricism. She's not a vocalist, she's not a performer, her songwriting isn't anything interesting. She's literally only popular because she's so "inoffensive" to the demographic of white cishet people. I also fucking hate how she weaponizes her white woman tears to stay on top. Even worse is her jumping on trends to look appealing without meaning it. Literally this woman only started supporting gay rights and feminism because it was safer now to talk about it than not.

I don't think she's even an interesting artist. I see swifties say her lore makes her music interesting but it's just literal celeb drama. Who fucking cares? There are artists who are singing about more fascinating issues and have messages to say to the world but somehow she gets all the praise for profound lyricism. Folklore/evermore are two albums I never got the "it's so different" praise for because they're. still. love songs. She just can't write about something that's not her and that's why her song topics are so redundant and repetitive every album.

You can see that with her so-called political songs! This woman keeps centering herself on issues it's ridiculous. She also has such shallow takes on it, it almost feels like parody. I remember not getting why so many fellow queer people loved YNTCD so much because it was so fake to me.

Taylor Swift isn't an interesting artist. She's not that diverse in her discography. She talks about the same topics, reuses the same metaphors, and her genre range is not as experimental as swifties make it sound to be. She isn't influencing new genres and sounds, she's following trends. How can she be the generational songwriter when she can't even write about the current issues in her generation? She's so. damn. boring.

It's fine if people just accepted she made pop songs for the radio to be catchy or whatever. But why do I have to sit here and pretend her discography is some musical masterpiece? Why do I have to sit here with swifties telling me I'm so dumb because I didn't understand super simple metaphors??? I'm not a native english speaker and I get what she means, it's not rocket science.

God, I just. Hate her music and the way swifties talk about it. They're so damn obnoxious. Just go listen to other artists, and maybe broaden your scopes before spouting some bullshit.

(2/2)

[sunshine-theseus]

Lego House | Aggie Beever-Jones x Reader

Words: 3.8k Summary: 2 years together basically means forever, no matter what happens. inspired by Ed Sheeran’s ‘Lego House’ Warnings: injury, you guys know I don’t stick to actual events so, slightly suggestive maybe? this is for me but also kinda for @perfectpersuasion because they seemed really excited about it

“Headphones?”

“Check.”

“Chargers?”

“Check.”

“Passport?”

“Double check.”

“Then why am I 100% sure it’s still in your top draw?” I dramatically reach across to my bag to prove that my passport is in fact packed safely in the secret pocket that I designated purely to the piece of identification.

But it’s empty, and I have to bashfully turn back to Aggie to admit it isn’t where it’s supposed to be. She only gives me a pointed look and I’m standing up and dragging my feet behind me to grab the passport from my bedside table draw.

“I swear I put it in there Ags. Last night after training.”

“Well it’s a good thing we’re doing the checklist. It happens every time, you forget something.” Once I slide the small book into my bag I drop back down onto our couch, leaning into my girlfriend. She wraps her arms around me, and I bury my head in her neck, feeling the regretful late-night yesterday setting in.

“Come on we’ve got to be boarding the bus in an hour and who knows how long it’ll take us to get there.”

~~~~~

Naturally Aggie and I sit next to each other on the bus and/or the plane when the team travels for matches. We usually take a spot toward the back, or wherever is least populated or energetic, so that we can just be there together. Our hands are almost always interlocked and I’m usually leaning on her shoulder as we talk about our play or whatever interesting things going on.

“I’m nervous.” I whisper in her ear as we begin the decent into Gothenburg.

“Everyone underestimates us because we’re young, so when you get on that pitch, either starting or as a sub, you show them you belong at Chelsea, and that we belong in the Champions League. Okay?” When she looks at me to confirm my answer I lean forward, pressing a small kiss to her lips.

A flash goes off in the corner of my eye and I turn to find Zecira holding the media crew camera.

“The fans are going to love that.” Smiling a toothy grin, she turns to someone else, leaving us be.

-

The dark December sky encourages the cold and the light dusting of snow that begins to cover the tarmac. I wrap an arm around Aggie’s as we wheel our bags into the airport, trying not to fall face first on the slippery surface.

The warmth inside is welcomed as we are guided past the large crowds and onto the bus. Once again, I take my spot beside Aggie, behind Jessie and Niamh who were talking about Jessie’s new favourite tea. A calmness settles over everyone as Emma announces who’s rooming with who, which we all basically already know. 9 times out of 10 it’s the person currently sitting next to us.

Opening the door to our room brings great relief as I flop onto the bed closest to the window. Despite the two queen sized beds on either side of the room, it was inevitable that I’d end up curled up in my girlfriend’s arms as we huddle under the blankets, the other bed left untouched. This also usually meant that our room was the one to come to for activities, an extra bed meaning more space.

Aggie stands staring out the window, the city spanning across the horizon as the sun begins the set, the blue barely beginning to fade into purples and pinks. Old buildings and the river that runs through the architecture draw her eye as I stand behind her, taking in the way her body rises as she breathes, and the twitch in her lips as she spots something she finds beautiful, a certain spark in her eye. One that’s always there when she looks at me, hard to ignore.

“Did you bring your camera?” I ask as I slot in beside her. A hum in answer suffices as we take in the moment.

“We’re really here. Together.” I press kisses to her shoulder.

“Stamford Bridge is one thing but, we’re playing in the fucking Champions League. We’re not sat on the bench forever, we actually get minutes, not matter how little.”

“And we’re going to fucking win tomorrow’s match. Consider it an extra anniversary present.” Aggie chuckles and I feel the butterflies that burst to life in my stomach every time I look at her.

My mind drifts to the real present that sits carefully in a compartment of my bag for our anniversary tomorrow. My mum insisted it was perfect for Aggie and despite my hesitancy, I had to agree.

“We should head down for dinner.” Aggie leans down to kiss me before we leave.

~~~~~

Emma gave us a few hours to explore the city in the morning before we had to begin training and warming up for tonight's match. Jessie, Niamh and Zecira join us in the foyer, and we start our journey through the Swedish city, Zecira eager to introduce us to her country's traditions.

Not long into the walk, we stumble upon a small café on a terrace. We slide into a table and order our respective drinks, Aggie additionally getting a kardemummabröd, cardamom bread, for us to share. Niamh refuses to be apart of the picture that I take of the group at the table, but I manage to convince her to smile for the camera as we head back down onto the street.

The group splits into 2 after that. Aggie and I leave to seek out some flowers and a quiet spot to spend time together for our anniversary, while the others head back to the hotel, desperate to stay warm, although Jessie doesn’t seem to mind the cold winds.

“Look! They have red carnations!” Aggie is the one to point out the flower stand, full of red and green, that holds bunches of my favourite flower.

When the shop owner sees our linked hands, she smiles, the corner of her eyes wrinkling as they light up.

“For free.” She pushes Aggie’s hand away as she tries to pay for the red carnations.

“Love is enough payment.” I slip some money onto the bench as we leave, heading to an empty but rather beautiful park across the road.

“Happy anniversary.” I press a kiss to her cheek as I hand her the small bag. Inquisitively, she opens it and the box that sits on the bottom, revealing the gift.

“It’s a family ring. Handed down through a bunch of generations. The oldest kid gets it to give to their partner, the one they and the family think is the one. The person they’ll spend the rest of their life with, who makes them the best them.” I explain the origins as I take the ring from the box and slip it onto her hand. The gold band holds a small, encrusted peridot gem and fits perfectly on Aggie’s hand.

“Thank you. I love it.” Her voice is soft and watery, and her cheeks flame red when she looks at me. I can only imagine the love that adorns my face as I look at her. I’m about to kiss her when she has a moment of realisation.

“I left your gift in the fucking room.” The sweet moment is broken as she throws her head back and groans, and I can’t help but let out a hearty laugh.

“It’s okay.” I place a hand on top of the one she has on my thigh.

“Nooo we won’t have time when we get back, you’ll have to wait until tonight and that’s unfair.”

“I don’t even expect gifts Ags, just you and me. Plus, you got me my flowers. My favourite flowers from my favourite person. Sounds pretty good to me.”

“I’m your favourite person yeah?”

“Mmhm.” Her finger links through the thin gold chain that hangs around my neck.

“Show me then.” Her voice is raspy and deep as she pulls me forward by the necklace until our lips meet. It’s a hot and heavy kiss considering where we are, but I reciprocate it none-the-less.

I go to pull away, but she pulls me back in and I end up on her lap as we make out on the park bench. Her hands grip my thighs and mine hold the back of her head… Until we remember we’re on a park bench.

“That was kinda hot. Definitely a good make up present.” I smile down at her as our foreheads rest against each other.

“Emma’s going to kill us if we don’t head back soon…” Aggie is adamant that we begin walking to the hotel so we’re not late, so we walk hand in hand through the cold, barely arriving in time.

-

Training and warm up went well. The schedule was easy to adapt to and we weren’t pushing excessively as to waste energy before the match.

In saying that, we were up 2-1 when I got subbed on in the 60th minute, replacing Lj who wasn’t feeling all too well at half time. I felt good and energised, ready to make my second UWCL appearance.

Sam and I were gelling well together as we often did, making passes and taking shots on goal, only to be blocked by the Hacken keeper. It was a hard game but we were winning.

Aggie gets subbed on in the 68th minute, along with Jessie. The ball rarely makes it back past us, Erin often making a run with the ball toward us. Eventually Aggie passes me the ball and I try to gage my surroundings. Sam is offside, passing back to Aggie would be a mistake, Jessie’s surrounded. Erin has a clear path and shot of the goal.

I begin to run, and right as the ball connects with my foot, flying toward Erin, a body knocks against mine and my knee buckles. Nothing feels real as I fall to the floor, a loud pop filling my ears as pain radiates through my knee. I let out a blood curdling scream, but it isn’t heard over the cheering of Chelsea fans as Erin hits the ball into the goal.

I toss around on the grass, holding my leg and slamming a hand repeatedly against the ground as I sob and wale, waiting for someone to notice. It’s Sophie who places a hand on my back and yells for the ref, who then yells for the medics.

Aggie drops down in front of me as we wait, and I try and reach for her hand. The task finds itself to be difficult as my own hand shakes and my vision is blurred by tears.

“It’s- it’s my ACL.” A loud sob slips from my lips despite my attempt to hold it back.

“You don’t kn-”

“I know it Ags. I know it is I swear.”

“Okay, okay. It’ll be okay. The medics are here to look at it okay?” I nod as their hands grasp my leg, asking whether certain movements hurt or not.

It’s when I see them wave for the orange stretcher that things feel real again. Like everything was happening in slow motion until that moment. And I begin to cry again, my head now resting in Aggie’s lap as she runs a hand through my hair.

Every movement hurts as they transfer me from the ground to the stretcher, and I try not to scream out. A couple of the girls walk alongside me until the sideline, where Aggie grabs my hand and kisses me.

“I’ll come see you as soon as I can, okay?” I nod and watch as she runs back onto the pitch, her head turning every few steps to look at me, worry set in her eyes.

Turns out ‘as soon as I can’ would be much later. The medics had decided that instead of waiting until tomorrow or until we were back in England for a scan, it’d be best to go straight to the hospital. So we did.

Despite the usual wait to receive scan results, I’m sent back to the hall to wait for them. While waiting for the radiographer to call my name, Emma messages me asking if I wanted the team there. I decline the offer, knowing the girls would be exhausted after the last game of 2023 and would just want to sleep.

That doesn’t stop Aggie showing up.

I can hear the pounding of shoes hitting the linoleum ground, someone clearly running, but I don’t give it much thought as I scroll mindless on my phone. When she crouches in front of me, hands on my thigh to keep herself balanced, I have to try not to show how relieved I am. I knew what the results would be but hearing it makes it all the more real and I needed my girlfriend to hold my hand.

“Did we win?” a soft chuckle fills the air, and she nods as I put my phone in my pocket.

“3-1, because of your pass to Erin.”

“Oh, that’s good.” I’m aware of the glum look on my face as Aggie sits on the ground in front of me, allowing me to braid her hair repeatedly as we talk, waiting for the results.

“Ms L/n?” Aggie is quick to stand and turn to face the doctor while I struggle with the crutches.

“We know you already know what’s wrong but, to confirm, you’ve ruptured your anterior cruciate ligament in your right knee. You’ll be referred to a doctor and surgeon in England so you can arrange the surgery as soon as possible once you get home. I’m terribly sorry.” she leaves us with a woeful smile and the only thing I have to stop me from spiralling is Aggie’s hand on my shoulder.

“You’ll get through this. We will get through this. I’ll be there every step of the way. So will the girls. And if you fall down, I’ll pick you back up.” She kisses me on the forehead, and we begin the walk out to the parking lot, waiting for someone to pick us up.

-

Most people are asleep or relaxing in their rooms or the meal room by the time we get back to the hotel. Emma gives me a hug but doesn’t encourage us to stay or talk to anyone, knowing I’ll want to be alone with Aggie for a while.

“Getting on the plane tomorrow is going to be a challenge.” I try to laugh off the thought of all the normal activities that won’t be easy anymore as I shift onto my side of the bed.

“I’ll carry you, bridal style.” With that, Aggie hands me a gift, the gift she forgot on our date earlier in the day.

The box is rather heavy, and when I take off the lid, I find a photo album. It’s hard not to smile at the photo of us kissing that’s stuck to the cover.

“A page for every day we’ve spent together. For every day I’ve loved you.” I flick through the pages, reading some of the notes around the photos.

“This is why you take a photo of us every day?”

“I also just love capturing your beauty.” I pull her close to me and kiss her.

“I love you so much.”

“Not as much as I love you.”

~~~~~

I ended up having my surgery on Christmas day. Aggie and my family had planned on having a big day together, opening presents and having a feed, and I felt guilty taking the joy away. There wasn’t really any other choice. Aggie held me the night before as I cried. Our bed felt like the only safe place, even in our apartment, so that’s usually where I stayed. The increase in rain felt very fitting for how I’d been feeling.

Once everyone started coming back from the Christmas break, our place became more lively. I still used a singular crutch just in case, but for the most part I could put solid weight on my leg again, which meant I was able to do more activities with the team. We would hold game nights and/or movie nights once a week and occasionally I’d cook a Sunday roast.

Eventually Aggie began to take me to training. I wasn’t able to do anything, but I enjoyed watching the girls and just being in the environment again. It also made me happy watching Aggie play, it was when she looked the most carefree, despite others claiming that was when she was with me.

Aggie hadn’t left my side. Helping me shower and do the exercises for my knee. She always made sure I was entertained and asked if I needed help. Most of our spare time together was spent with me wrapped in her arms, watching a shitty tv show or talking.

“What did the doc say?”

“The ligament is looking good. They still think I’m on track for getting back in the gym in May, test out that anti-gravity treadmill.”

“And you got the team physio check up tomorrow yeah?” I hum as I adjust myself in her arms, head slotting into the crook of her neck.

I was having weekly check-ups with the Chelsea medical team and my own physio, which made it rather nerve wracking, wondering if one would feel the same as the other. If we weren’t all on the same page, my recovery time could be pushed further back. The team physio check up was the last one to confirm that I’d be allowed to start training and building stamina back up next month.

-

When I arrived at Cobham in the training kit, I felt really good. Some of the girls who pulled up at the same time as us were screaming across the car park and wishing me luck in my first session back.

I knew I’d be stuck in the gym for at least 2 months before I was allowed back on the pitch. Even then it’d be another couple of months before I was properly training with the team again, but this was the first step, and nothing could take that joy from me.

The girls started their mornings off in the gym, which meant they were cheering me on and helping me as the trainers gave me exercises to do. Aggie spends most of the hour doing the exercises alongside me, only leaving to complete something mandatory or to get us more water.

“You don’t have to Ags. You should focus on your training.”

“I promised I’d be here every step of the way. I’ll do it all for you.” She locks the leg extension and gives me a hand to help me up.

“Now onto the anti-gravity machine. First time huh?” she gently bumps me with her shoulder as I get ready to step into the chamber before Lily, my designated trainer, enables the ‘anti-gravity.’

“Oh this feels weird.” The way my body lifts with every step eases the pressure on my knee as I start to get used to it.

“Look at you! This is so cool.” Aggie doesn’t stop smiling as she watches me, some of the other girls occasionally making their way over to watch.

-

As predicted, 2 months later I begin training on the pitch. It felt lonely, watching the girls and being so close to joining them, yet so far. But I knew I was nearly there. Lily helped me with building up speed and getting used to the feel of the boots and grass again. Then came shooting practice; standing, getting passed a ball, and shooting. Eventually we added the training mannequins and Lily played goalkeeper as I manoeuvre around the pitch and obstacles.

Aggie likes to join us at lunch or sometimes gets excused by Emma to help me.

“Aggiiiie. I’m supposed to have the ball you’re supposed to just block me.”

“You gotta fight for the ball or take it off someone at some point.” Her cheeks are that beautiful pink as she grins at me.

“I hate you.” I puff out as I try to catch my breath.

“I’m wounded.” A hand falls to her heart before she approaches me, the ball still at her feet, and she leans in for a kiss.

“Nuh uh you’re being mean.”

“No I am not! Please one kiss.”

“Fine.” As she closes her eyes again and leans in, I swipe the ball from underneath her and start to run to the goal.

“What the fuck!?”

“Get better babe!” I take a shot around Lily, although not very hard considering her lack of goalkeeper training, and watch as it slots into the back of the net.

-

“73 minutes in and number 10 Lauren James is being subbed off! Who for? It’s Y/n L/n making her first appearance of the 24/25 season after rupturing her ACL in the Champion’s League in December last year. Her first game in 326 days at a sold-out Stamford Bridge! And who else is there to walk with her onto the pitch, if not her girlfriend and one of Chelsea’s star strikers, Aggie Beever Jones. Today is a great day for it.”

I try not to cry as Aggie takes my hand, making my way to my position. The cheer from the crowd as I jog on is deafening and I clap back at them before the ref blows the whistle.

Not long into play, Aggie makes a run forward, and I find a clear space between players near the goal and call for the ball. She kicks it and it soars through the air, making contact with my head as I jump. The net ripples as it skims passed the Arsenal keeper, and I’m making a run for Aggie to celebrate.

“First game back and you scored! Let’s fucking go!” she grabs me by my face and pulls me in. The kiss is unexpected but welcome in celebration.

We win 4-0, and Aggie and I find ourselves tangled up in our sheets, tracing patterns on each other’s bare skin as we whisper messages of love and adoration for the other.

“I’d do anything for you.”

“You did everything for me.”

Y/N_L/N

Y/N_L/N: this is a thank you letter to the one who’s stood by me for 3 years. who’s loved and cared for me when I didn’t think anyone would. a year ago today I ruptured my ACL, on our anniversary, and in the year since then we’ve only grown stronger, loved each other harder, fallen deeper. i'd do it all for you, like you did for me

---------

Beth and Viv’s new doco on their ACL journey really helped me with writing this. Obviously not everyone’s journey is the same so I tried to make it as different as I could with ruining it all together. I hope they’re proud of the doc because it’s really going to help people, and hopefully encourage more funding in researching the ACL injuries in women’s football and help with creating boots designed for women, so it lowers the risk of injuries like ACLs.

[tartrat]

Proving to myself that i can do digital art (Ft. Kapyy, again)

I'm posting this on tumblr first so if you see this pop on twitter that would be me reposting there. Wanted to practice art properly and take my time with it after finishing my a levels. Kapyy will forever be my test subject. also more general thoughts below the art

I started this whilst i was in Greece on a family holiday. I used myself as the pose reference and used a custom water colour brush i made and the turpentine brush to blend on procreate. I finished this on the flight back home from Greece with my mum sitting next to me and she thinks that he looks like me. All i can say on that is that i am a tall ginger guy and that's sorta where the similarities end. I think that the lighting looks awkward on the clothes. I couldn't think of what to have him sit on so he's sort of floating in the void. Background was made by just blurring the colours, making a new black layer and erasing with the procreate nebula brush

I actually really like how this one came out. The speed paint is 10 minutes long though.

I'm not too sure why i made him sad. I sorta headcanon that he bottles up a lot of things and masks his true emotions. This headcanon basically implies that he is putting up an act in I'm good (Blue) - Extreme Version. In this headcanon i think that he would eventually find peace so there would be a happy ending.

I've been thinking about him a lot recently. You can sort of create stories for the coaches that can contradict what's shown in game. Like when i was trying to sleep the other night i was like, what if Kapyy is the twin brother of Talia Sway and he was kidnapped at birth, and the giddy on up coach is their mother. Doesn't make sense but its fun to think about how they would interact. Also if i was in charge, everything has changed could work for a map for this headcanon but make it about family (this would also imply kapyy is ed sheeran so don't think about that). Talia is the next coach i want to do art of and i will probably be basing it off of better than revenge.

Also heres the quick sketch (Thumbnail sketch?) i did to get what i wanted this piece to look like. You can also see the water colour brush i made when it isn't blended by the turpentine brush.

I'm sorry if i typed a lot.

[intensid4d]

Like I'm Gonna Loose You - Alessia Russo x Reader

that's a little longer, I hope you enjoy!

+4k of words, not readproof, against with happy end, mentions of homophobia!

.

Football was your first love, your first memory was of you and your father playing together. So you went to college to play and try being a pro. And that’s when you met the true love of your life, the one that were even bigger that your love for football. And that was a girl, your girl. Your Lessi.

At first it was you, Lotte and Alessia. You all soon developing a friendship and becoming inseparable, the three of you coming from England so it made sense that you all would feel less home sick. Then you started to be more soft with Alessia, you weren’t able to say “no” to her. It all started in your last season at the college. You couldn’t stand there seeing all the boys and girls all over her. You didn’t even know you’re gay. It was just so much for you. You never having done a relationship before, why? Well, a guy never interested you but you thought it was because you were too focused on football. Guess you were wrong.

You started to do everything you could to spend more time with her and she never said “no” to you too. It was like she could know what you were thinking, always doing everything you wanted when you don’t even told her anything.

One day you were on the bus to play na away game, Alessia sitting by your side, you sharing your headphones with her. That’s when everything changed forever between you.

“Let do a playlist together, just for us to hear. What do you think?” She asks you, already taking her phone out of her pocket.

“Us. ❤” That was the name of the playlist. You were used to Alessia being soft with you, but this was too much for you to not think that maybe, just maybe, she had fallen for you too. Especially when she started to add songs to it.

“All of me” – John Legend

“Never be Alone” – Shawn Mendes

“Give Me Love” – Ed Sheeran

“Little Things” – One Direction

“Ruin The Friendship” – Demi Lovato

“Perfect” – Ed Sheeran

You looked at her face... God, how could someone be so beautiful?

“Don’t look at me like that.” She tells you, bringing you out of your daydream. When you understand what she had said you frown.

“Like what?”

“Like you feel the same. Like I’m your everything.” She speaks quietly so no one else could hear. You really didn’t know what to say. Your first love was saying she felt the same. Your first love who was also your best friend.

“I...” When she looks away you grab her hand. “I’m in love with you. I mean, I have never felt this before but you makes me feel like I don’t need anything else with I have you here with me. And I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and you... God... I don’t know Lessi, I didn’t know I’m into girls until you happened but I’m totally fine with that, because you made me see that there’s no mistake to love someone. When I’m the one making you smile I feel the same way when I score a goal, my heart goes crazy and...” She stops you by pushing her lips into yours.

And that’s how everything started. It was nothing like the movies, you both telling your feelings in the back of a bus, nothing romantic at all, but it was you and you couldn’t love it more. That was the best time of your life, you couldn’t be more happier. Then, be the end of the year when you went home for holidays you decided that you were coming out to your parentes. You knew Alessia was yours forever, so you knew you needed to do it. You were done not been able to post about her on social media Simply because your parents didn’t know.

So, one day right before Christmas Eve you called your parentes to the living room, ready to tell them you were gay and were dating the love of your life. And so you did, but it was nothing like you hoped. They didn’t like the idea of you being gay. You simply didn’t know what to do.

You loved your family, they were your everything, always having your back but now they couldn’t be happy for you. Your mom even said:

“You can’t do thay, Y/N! Jesus gave you to me, you can’t do that! I won’t let you.” She screams while crying at you.

Then it was hell to you. You were hurt, so much. You really wanted to be with Alessia, but you knew she didn’t desserves to be on that mess. You won’t let her be, never. It was all too much.

“We can fix you, no, we WILL fix you.” Your father said before going to bed.

“I regret being your mom. I regret ever wanting to have you.” It all was too much.

You didn’t have the strength to talk to Alessia, so you declined every call and never texted back. You couldn’t. They did got in your head. Were you wrong? But how could it be so wrong? When Alessia made you the more happiest you had ever been. When you truly loved her?

You don’t know why you stayed at your parent’s house, you really don’t. But you were like shit, not leaving your room to avoid see any of them. Only leaving to eat but always at some time you knew they wouldn’t see you. And you couldn’t eat properly.

It was in January 7th when you got a call from Barcelona, they wanted you. Soon you after you got a call from Lotte too, Alessia told her of you behaviour or, the lack of it. To the blonde, it was like you just erased from her life, she was too much hurt. She even thought to go see you, but if you weren’t even texting her... So she just accepted it. You may have meet someone better. Someone who could make you more happy. That’s what she thought.

You din’t say anything to Lotte, not while staying in your parent’s house. But you tell her about Barcelona. And you tell her you’re moving as soon as possible. She could sense something was wrong, really wrong. You weren’t your usual self. Your voice was emontionless, even while talking about Barca.

.

When you moved out of your parentes house, you were still not in a good place. But you told Lotte everything, you told her you were ashamed of yourself, that you really loved Alessia and that’s why you couldn’t do that to her. You didn’t want her to be with someone who wasn’t worth it her love. Suddenly you didn’t loved yourself anymore and that’s was a lot. How could still treat Alessia the way she deserved to be treated when you couldn’t even treat yourself right anymore?

You couldn’t see her and texting wasn’t aan option so you wrote a letter and asked Lotte to give it to her, you felt like she was the only person left on your life. You have pushed away everyone. And when Lotte left to England again, she had a mission to give it to Lessi and stay with her until she was sure she was okay.

.

“Hi Lessi... First of all, I’m so sorry. I really am. I didn’t know how else I could do this. So I’m writing this now... Anyway, I hope you don’t hate me... I could never hate you, I think I’ll always love you. And I hate myself for hurting you and letting you in the dark for so long. I’m so sorry for not being enough, you deserve so much better. I did everything to not put you into this mess. And that’s why I’m doing it... That’s why I’m ending things... Beucase you deserve better, you deserve someone who can treat you like you are the most incredible person in the world (because you are). I hope I can be your friend some day... I hope I can see your smile in person again, or hug you... Yours hugs always made me feel better. I... Just don’t forget ever that I really love you, okay? I’m just so much hurt right now that I can’t be in a relationship... Lotte will tell everything you want to know. I wish you all the best, my love.

Always yours, Y/N.”

Alessia was hurt, but after reading your letter and, after she stopped crying, having Lotte to tell everything that happened and how you were, she didn’t know what she really was feeling but lost was a really close guess.

“I wish she would let me help her out, I wish she could be still here with me, Lotte.” She cried again on the brunette’s shoulder.

True to her word, Lotte only left Alessia’s house when she needed to present herself at Arsenal and before that she made sure the blonde would that care of herself.

.

It took you two years to rebuild yourself, for you to love yourself, to know that there was no wrong for loving another woman. You did therapy every week since Lotte left your new home. You also didn’t talk that much anymore with your parents. Not having been to their house again, it held too many bad memories.

But you also didn’t see Alessia again, not in person at least. But you always kept an eye on her, by social medias and even watching her games when you were free.

Barcelona become your home, Alexia Putellas and Mapi Leon become your best friends too. They helped you a lot, they were the only ones on the team who knew of everything that had happened with your parents and Alessia. So they always kept you in their hold, and you were grateful for that.

It took three years for you to meet Alessia again, it being on camp for the Lionesses. When you got the call, you were very excited but then you realised you would have to meet Alessia again and that made you almost throw up out of fear. At first, when you arrived at the hotel, there was just Lotte and Beth waiting for you, the others being at their rooms.

“Y/N!” Beth hugs you. “I’m so happy that we can finally play together.”

.

“I missed this, you know... I mean, us being roommates and playing together.” You tell Lotte, after greeting Beth, make a small talk and then go to yours and Lottes room.

“I missed it too. You could always come and play for Arsenal, I know they have been wanting you for a long time.” You sigh at her words and she sits in her bed. “You can’t run away from her forever.”

“I know.” You sit and look at her with a frown. “I know I can’t run away. Fuck, I know she’s here and it makes me want to throw up. What if she hates me?” You put your hands in your face and Lotte comes to your side, passing her arm over your shoulders.

“She doesn’t hate you. I think you should talk to her, it’s been a long time.” You turn to her.

“I don’t know...” You can feel the tears running down your cheeks and your best friend take you in her arms.

“I think I still love her, Lotte.” She tights you in her arms.

“It’s okay, let it all out. I’m here with you. I got you.” And with that you cry in her arms until you fall asleep, exhaustion taking the best of you.

.

The next morning when you wake up, you’re still in your friend’s arms. You get up and get ready to have breakfast. When you get there, you see Leah, Beth, Keira, Georgia and Lucy at one table, so you grab your food and go sit with them.

Your mind was a mess, you wanted to see Alessia but you couldn’t handle the hurt or the hate in her eyes when she looked in your eye, so when you saw she wasn’t there yet you knew that maybe she was avoiding see you.

“She always comes with Ella.” Beth says after seeing the look on your face. “And Ella’s always late.” You just nod and starting eating, not daring to say anything out loud.

After eating, you decided to go to the meeting room, where Sarina would do the official first talk to everything. You found a seat in the middle of the room and grab your phone to go through social medias.

.

It’s only by the end of the meeting that you actually lay eyes on Alessia, having been too focused on what Sarina was saying to notice how Alessia sat on the back of the room or how Ella (who was a really loud person) was silenty and awful worried about her best friend.

When you look at her way you notice she’s already looking at you, you could see everything in her eyes, all the good and bad memories. You feel a shiver run down your neck, making you look at your feets. It’s Lotte’s hand on your back that makes you walk out of the room with you not daring to look up again, too afraid to see her so close or see the hate in her eyes.

.

The first time you talk with her was on 11x11 at practice, you were playing against her.

You were running with the ball, having passed every defender and beeing left only with Mary to deal with. But then, suddenly you felt someone tackling you from behind and an huge pain on your right ankle.

“What the fuck, Ella?!” You could hear Alessia’s voice but you didn’t see her. You were holding your ankle and with your face on the ground, trying to hide the tears in yours eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t-“ The blonde forward didn’t give her the chance to say nothing more, coming to you in fast speed.

“Hey, angel. Can you turn around?” You can feel her hand on your back.

“It hurts so much, Lessi...” You groan quietly to her but manage to turn around as she asked. No one of your teammates daring to come closer and end whatever was happening. Alessia took a deep breath after hearing you calling by her nick name, it wasn’t the right time.

“I know it does, but I’m here with you. I won’t leave your side until you’re alright, okay?” She wipes your tears with the back of her hand and you finally open your eyes to look at her. Seeing Alessia so close and so worried about you made you forget about the pain momentarily.

You are forced to look away from her when the medical team comes to check on you. “Can you walk?” One of them asks you after doing the first check on your ankle.

“Yeah, I think so.” With that, Alessia helps you putting her arm around your waist and yours around her shoulder. You manage to go to the physio room with her help (she was almost carring you in her arms ‘cause you were putting all your weigh on her).

.

True to her words, Alessia haven’t left your side and even when you were sent to the hospital to check if there was any major issues, she still went with you. You both didn’t talk about your past or about any feelings at all. You didn’t have time neither space, there was always somebody else with you. Plus, all Alessia wanted at the moment was for you to be okay. When she saw you going down and crying yourself out of pain, she felt all again. Everything she so desesperately tried to bury at the bottom of her heart. She knew she would probably regret it later, but now she couldn’t care less.

So when the doctors said it wasn’t as bad as it looked to be, and that you only needed to rest for 3 days she was relieved. And the blonde, herself made a promise to the doctor applying that she would that care of you and wouldn’t let you do anything stupid. You could only hope it was true, the thinking of her being with you sounding like yet a dream for you.

.

When you got back to the hotel, she walks you to your room.

“So...” She starts saying but you cut her off.

“I miss you.” She gasps at your sudden confession and you take it was a bad signal and give her a sad smile. “Thank you for today, you really didn’t need to do all this...”

“It’s okay, I wanted to.” She gives you a small smile. “Can I – “ She pauses for a moment, like she’s thinking of what to say. “Can I hug you?” She finally asks, for all day she was close to you, touching you (because she knew physical touch helped you in any ways) and yet here she is, asking you if she could give you a hug.

“Always.” You whisper and open your arms, she wastes no time and puts her arms around your waist, hidding her face on your neck. You put your arms around her neck and your face at the top of her head, you take this moment to smell her hair again. It felt like home.

“I’m sorry about everything, please forgive me.” You say quietly to her, your eyes closed so that you could enjoy the moment. You wanted to remember it forever.

“It wasn’t your fault.” She gives your neck a little kiss before pulling away reluctantly. You felt a single tear come down your cheek, and she wipes it carefully.

“You need some rest, I should go now.” She take a step back.

“Okay.” You give her another small smile and put your key card on the door, when you’re about to open it she calls you again.

“Y/N! I miss you too.” It’s all she says before disappear into the elevator.

.

You wake up in the next day with Lotte getting ready for practice. She haven’t asked you anything, knowing that you would open up when you’re ready.

“I’ll go with you to have breakfast, then I’ll go to the pyshio.” You say to her after getting ready too.

.

You’re in the pyshio putting some ice on your ankle when Ella comes into the room with your favorite flower in hands.

“Hey, Y/N... I’m sorry about your ankle I really didn’t mean to. I was just so stressed about this whole you and Alessia thing th-” She stops herself, realising she was talking too much. “Err, this is for you.” She hands the sunflower to you.

“Thank you so much. And you don’t have to apologize, it’s okay.” You take the sunflower of her hand. “How did you know it was my favorite?” You smile looking at it.

“Oh, I got some advice.” You look at her with a small smile forming in your lips. “You should talk to her. If you love her and promise me to not break her heart again I can help you.”

“I really do love her, I never stoped. I never wanted to break her heart...” You look around, putting your thoughts in place. “I promise that, if I ever have her love again, I won’t ever break her heart. Not again.” You look into her eyes so she could know you were being true in your words.

“Okay.” It all she says. You frown.

“Okay?”

“Yes. When you finish this, come to my room. Here, take my keycard.” She gives it to you. “She’s almost finishing her gym session. Then, I’ll text her to come to our room but it will be you there, not me!” She says simply, gives you a little kiss on the head and exits the room. But then after a few seconds she enters the room again.

“And don’t make me hate you again or next time I will go for you knee! Text me when you’re done so I can know when text her.” Then she lefts again. You look at the door in completely shock.

“What the fuck.” You mumble to yourself.

.

10 minutes later you’re done in the physio, so you text Ella on Instagram to let her know you’re going her room now. On your way there, you think what you’re going to say to her but you know that at the moment you see her you’ll forget everything. You have wanted to do this so many times during these 3 years you spent apart but you didn’t know if she would like to even see you again. When you get out of your own head you notice you’re already at the door of her room.

When you get into the room you see wich is Alessia’s bed and you put the sunflower Ella gave you in the middle of it. The memorie of her loving sunflower just as much as you loved and it becoming your flower and yours only. Everytime one of you passed by a flowershop you got one for the other. It was a silent way of saying ‘I love you’.

It takes another 15 minutes for Alessia to come to the room, you were by the window the moment she comes in. At first she doesn’t notice you and you could tell the first thing she saw was the sunflower at her bed.

“Toone I told you to give it to Y/N and apologize for almost breaking her ankle, why did you-“

“She already did.” You stop her and she finally see you, you can see she’s surprised. She takes a moment, then grab the sunflower from her bed and looks at it with pain in her eyes.

“Don’t you like it anymore? I’m sorry I-” You cut her off again.

“I love it, reminds me of you. Can we sit and talk? Only if you want to... I mean, I don’t want to do nothing you wouldn’t be confortable and if you want me to go I’ll, there wouldn’t be a problem...” She raises her hand so you can stop.

“It’s okay, don’t worry...” She takes a deep breath and you do the same, looking at your hands.

“Okay...” You say more to yourself, trying to have some courage. “First, I wanted to say I’m sorry for how things ended. I know I wasn’t in a good place and I know I could have let you choose if you wanted to stay or go but you have to know I did this because you don’t deserve to be with someone who’s broke. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and I knew I couldn’t make you happy that time. It took me two years to be over what my parentes did to me but three years isn’t enough to get over you. I want you to know that there isn’t a day I don’t regret ever letting you go. You was- No, you are the best thing that ever happened to me I think I’ll love you forever, even if I have another life I’ll still love you.” You haven’t notice when but she’s close to you know, so close you can feel her smell. You look into her eyes, her ocean eyes that right now are full of tears and it’s enough to make you cry too.

“And you were never alone, never. I kept an eye on you, even from afar. I’m so proud of who you have became... You’re an amazing person, Alessia. You’re an incredible player too. And you’re even more beautiful...” You wipe her tears away and when she leans on your touch, you leave your hand on her cheek. “Everytime I passed by a flowershop I still had a sunflower, even if I didn’t have you anymore to give it to. I liked to buy and bring it home because for me it’s like a little piece of you. It’s unique and it’s one of the most beautiful things I ever saw.”

She gots even closer to you and put her forehead on yours, you close your eyes when she cups your cheek. You heart beating faster than it ever had.

“You have to promise me you’ll never let me in the dark again. Please, I beg you. You have to promise me you’ll never leave of my life without saying anything anymore. God, Y/N I wish I could ever hate you for breaking my heart.” You both fully crying now. “I wish you weren’t the only one who could put all the peaces together again.”

“I’m so sorry.” You put your arms around her and you both stay like that. Your body and foreheads together, Alessia’s hands of your cheeks and your arms around her.

“If we are trying this again, trying us again it has to be slowly. I’m scared. I love you but I’m hurt and afraid and you need to show me you’re not going to run away from me anymore.” She wipes your tears again.

“I wouldn’t dare to loose you twice. I’m in for real, I’m all yours. If you want to try us again, we’ll do it step be step. And I’ll love you in every one of them. Please Lessi, let me make this right.” You grab her hands and look into her eyes.

“Okay.” She whispers.

“Can I kiss you?” You say quietly and she answer you by putting her lips on yours softly.

You'll do everything you can to make her feel safe with you again.