#but also then no song sounds similar so if you only like one you’re fucked

[maulsoleum]

HI I SAW YOU REBLOGGED THAT POST ABOUT. ME NOT GETTING GHOST LMFAOOOO. the one song i like is Absolution !!! its so so soooooo good. & i like their band aesthetic too!! and ive TRIED TO GET INTO THEM but i cant find similar songs :c - @polytherian

LMAOOOOO I WAS SO DISTRAUGHT OVER THAT IM CRYING. but holy shit i was so curious if it was the classic response of mary on a cross so absolution is a VERY happy surprise oh my god??

but yeah no that’s so fair, all of their songs are so vastly different (actually one of the reasons they’re my favorite band), but it makes it hard if you only like One and not the rest bc then?? there’s no others wtf

absolution is such a good fucking song though but ofc since it’s ghost it’s the only one that sounds like that, the closest i can think sounds like that is cirice or spirit but ough

loving the band aesthetic is so real though it’s so fucking MMM!!! even if you don’t like the songs you may enjoy the lore they have for the band bc it revolves around the aesthetic sm

can you guys tell ghost is my special interest ooo you wanna ask me about ghost so bad

[kleine-joost]

Joost Dating Headcanons

a/n: who tf am i updating daily?? idk where this motivation has come from lmao

WARNINGS: there's some general smutty headcanons at the end, i'd appreciate no minors interact thanks xxx

SFW HEADCANONS

- Ok so first off, I’m so so so convinced that this man is absolutely the clingiest person EVER. Like anything you’re doing, he’ll happily join you, he asks you to travel with him., Basically everything either of you do will become a two-man job

- The only thing he’s tentative about with your relationship would be the overall publicness of it. The real fans (😎😎😎) have spotted you a couple times in photos and videos in the background of things and kind of just speculated, but mostly you’re unknown.

- But in private and with friends and stuff? Hangs on you all the time, bringing you into conversations he’s in so you can add more details to his stories.

- Also I have this picture in my head, like say you had to work late or you went out with some friends and he didn’t go, when you get home, you find him in bed, duvet up to his chin and just waiting for you to get home so you can tell him everything and you can go to sleep together

- He’s not a huge movie buff, but he’ll watch whatever you want because he just loves seeing you enjoy things, seeing you happy. Even if he’s not the direct cause of it, he likes to just be there for you

- And another thing, I think he’s probably really forgetful. So if you aren’t, I like the idea of leaving little sticky notes around to remind him of things like meetings, or even just to drink water

- So supportive too. He is your biggest cheerleader in everything you do, and always knows how to comfort you if you’re down

- I imagine you also being super supportive of him, like you’re always the first person he shows a new song to, and he genuinely favours your opinion on things and will fight Tantu to change things you think could be changed

- Big flower vibes. He loves buying you flowers, even when there’s no special occasion. Just because he thought they were pretty.

- I also think he would LOVE to do like coordinating outfits and stuff

- Just a stylish couple in general

- And if like your collar isn’t sitting right or something, he’d fixed it straight away

- On a similar note, he loves when your shoelaces become untied because it's his favourite thing to just do whatever he can for you

- He’s tried to cook you dinner a total of about 3 times, all of them resulting in an inedible meal. But it’s the thought that counts

- And when you’re out eating dinner somewhere, he’ll always beg for a bite of your food in exchange for a bite of his, because “your’s just looks so good, liefde”

- I also think he’s one of those boyfriends that’ll just walk up to you and start shadow boxing at you for funsies, complete with fake huffs of effort, until it eventually just evolves into who can hold each others��� arms down for the longest time (spoiler, he wins most of the time cause he just wraps his arms around your shoulders so you can’t move)

- Going back to the travelling thing, I like the idea that if you’re not able to go with him, he always buys you some kind of souvenir like a fridge magnet or like socks or something so you feel like you were there

- And so he feels like you’re with him, he always carries a picture of you with him in his wallet bc cute

NSFW HEADCANONS

- Guess what kind of picture it is teeheehee

- I can’t decide between just a picture of your tits or one that he took while yall were fucking and you didn’t even notice that he had his phone out and was taking a photo of your face all scrunched together in pleasure

- Boy would that have been an interesting day at wherever he got it printed

- ALSO travelling means….you guessed it! Phone and FaceTime sex!!

- Most of the time it doesn’t even start out sexy, you’re just telling each other about your days

- But Joost misses you so much, he can’t help get turned on even by just the sound of your voice

- He tries to be quiet but let’s get real, that man WHINES and WHIMPERS so even when he’s trying to hold it in as he’s palming himself through his jeans, you know what’s up

- “Baby?” He hums in response. “Are you touching yourself?” “...Maybe”

- And it just devolves from there

- Omg and REUNION SEX? Don’t even get me started

- ok do get me started, the SECOND he’s home it is shoes off, clothes off, carrying you to the bedroom

- It would be a perfect mix of tender and filthy

- He missed you and wants to tell you that, but he’s also just so pent up. He needs to get all his energy out

- When he gets horny, there’s nothing he won’t do get at you

- Like when he can’t sleep at night and he’s just really bored, wakes you up and eats you out

- Walks in on you in the shower, he’s getting in

- You guys go shopping and he’s watching you try on clothes, you have to tear him off of you

- You get my point.

- I think he’s an everywhere kind of guy

- Everything, Everywhere, All At Once lol

- Definitely pulled you into a club bathroom stall on more than one occasion

- Oh and one more thing, underwear goblin. After any time you guys fuck, there’s at least a 60% chance he’ll steal your panties as a memento.

[snowsonlylove]

Partition (Inspired by Beyonce & Ana Huang)

Pairing: President!Coriolanus Snow x Wife!Reader

Summary: Frustrated from her arranged husband’s lack of attention towards her, Y/N Y/L/N bursts in a plathora of words spewed to her arranged husband and elected President of Panem, Coriolanus Snow about his lack of care and affection towards his own wife despite Coriolanus literally being married to Y/N. Both parties being frustrated with no means to give their stances up, explode in a world of dirty, nasty sex in their limo on the way to former president’s son Felix Ravinstill’s dinner. 

Fic Type: Smut (NSFW) 18+ with angst, Arranged Marriage trope

Warnings: infidelity, cum licking, heavy kiss, degrading but also lots of praise, lmk if there’s anything I missed but this is vvv nasty 

Word Count: 2.6k

Inspo: Heavily inspired by Chapter 27 of King of Wrath by Ana Huang (my FAVORITE book of all time) from the Kings of Sin Series and the song Partition by Beyonce (an absolute GEM of a song). 

Disclaimer: About 90% of the sex scenes are directly from said chapter, so credits and the idea itself all go to Ana Huang and her team. The blowjob and first sex scene was from Ana Huang’s book and the last scene was a slightly altered version from me. This is basically an altered version of Ana Huang’s book idea turned into a version for Coriolanus and Y/N if they were in an arranged marriage. 

I do not own Coriolanus Snow or Y/N Y/L/N (cuz it’s you, boo). All credits go to Suzanne Collins and her team. Song credits also go to Beyonce and her team. 

I do not allow my works to be republished or translated under any circumstances. Any instances of this happening and YOU WILL BE BLOCKEDDD. 

Also, ageless and empty blogs will be BLOCKED as this is a 18+ fic. Report my fics and you’re blocked cuz if u don’t like it, LEAVEEEE.

Y/D/N = Your Dad’s Name (so sorry to anyone with daddy issues cuz me too)

The marriage of Y/N Y/L/N and Coriolanus Snow was not one born out of love. Their fathers, Y/D/N Y/L/N and Crassus Snow planned for their union before fighting in the war to strengthen and unite the families in a pursuit for higher power. Both Y/N and Coriolanus grew up around similar environments, both being in the same friend group, meeting each other in birthday parties, visiting each other’s penthouses for playdates and as of late, running into each other in the Academy as they receive their degrees during graduation.

Now that both Y/N and Coriolanus are of marriage age, their fathers immediately drew up the arranged marriage with a contract, binding the two young adults for life, their families growing stronger as a result of their agreement. Coriolanus and Y/N have never disliked nor liked each other as they each had their own squad of people to hang out with, Y/N always being around Arachne Crane and Clemensia Dovecote while Coriolanus was closer with Felix Ravinstill and Festus Creed, to each their own being disgusted with the opposite sex in fear of cooties as that was common with young children, which was not a surprise in the way the two supposed love birds navigate their marriage in a meaningless way behind closed doors when it was the absolute opposite in public.

Y/N Y/L/N never felt that Coriolanus’s indifference was a severe one until he started to bring home mistresses not long after they’ve moved in during the late wave of his candidacy. He started to fuck his way through his female staff as Y/N was tortured with hearing the sound of his groans and the moaning of the women he summoned as a means to relieve his stress. Y/N was heartbroken as she felt that they had this mutual understanding that they would always be loyal to one another even through the circumstances of their relationship, Coriolanus clearly did not feel the same.

The couple usually kept their interactions minimal in their household as they live in seperate bedrooms, only to come down to eat dinner, choosing to have the rest of their meals seperate during the day. As Coriolanus’s relationship with these women grew to be more common, Y/N did not have the appetite to cater to Coriolanus’s ego further as she skipped her meals with him, instructing the staff to send her meals to her room instead as she laid on her large queen bed, heart breaking and face puffy with tears streaking down her face over his infidelity. Even though she did not exactly feel for him, she at least cared enough about him as a trusted partner throughout their arrangement. 

The atmosphere between the two grew more and more tense each day as Y/N sobbed behind closed doors, trying her best to muffle her cries as Coriolanus worked next door. Coriolanus, oblivious to his wife’s muffled crying, doesn’t notice her strange behavior until that night where Y/N left her bedroom door ajar and Coriolanus was finally able to see how hurt Y/N had been over his infidelity. Coriolanus was shocked to see for himself how miserable his wife had been over his actions, him originally choosing to bring in mistresses to encourage her to confront him. He moved away, however, ensure of what to do next as he left her alone.

The next day, one of Y/N’s female staff, particularly one of Coriolanus’s women, had informed Y/N of an event she needed to attend that day, former president’s son Felix Ravinstill’s dinner. With her puffy face, she nodded as she started to get ready. Y/N felt dejected as she got ready, feeling as if she was going through the motions as several maids filed in to help her with her makeup and dress. Y/N wore a sullen frown on her face as she stared into the distance of her reflection in the vanity, wondering how and why she agreed to this marriage in the first place. “I will get out of this place once and for all…” she thought as she started to navigate a plan to be free of the ruse of a marriage. 

Coriolanus waited for Y/N outside of their mansion as Y/N appeared, her eyes still puffy although covered with the power of makeup. He extended his arm as she took it with caution, both of them stepping in the limo silently. Once they got in, Y/N stared off to the window of the limo as they drove away from the mansion. Coriolanus, apprehensive over his wife’s indifference, suddenly speaks “You know, you could smile a little?” he said with a timid one of his own. Y/N’s mood suddenly darkened as she responded in an even more dejected and hoarse voice “How could I? Please, dear husband, demonstrate how I could smile when my only other partner in this joke of a marriage brings home other women and fucks them for me to hear.” 

Coriolanus, taken aback by how dejected his wife’s voice was, responded, “Well I’m sorry if you feel offended by my lack of attention towards you as of late. We were never exclusive in the first place, our fathers planned this for us.” Y/N looked incredulously at her husband, “Exclusive?! What part of an arranged marriage and a contract doesn’t speak not exclusive?! Are you joking right now, Coriolanus? Because if you are, no ones laughing.” Y/N sighed, “I though you were smarter than this, Snow. I truly never imagined that my presence dissatisfies you so much that you had to turn to other women to satify your needs.” Y/N said as her eyes started to tear up again. She felt so exasperated, “There’s no point in crying now.. He clearly doesn’t care about me.” She thought as Coriolanus examines her face.

Coriolanus felt horrible that his wife felt like this towards him. He truly did not mean to go this far, only planning to give her a little push. He turned towards his wife, and suddenly grabbed both of her hands in his own, stroking them in a delicate way, as someone would with a precious porcelain doll. “I’ve never hated you, wife. I merely wanted to give you a push in this arrangement since we both did not agree to this. I wanted to encourage you to be closer to me, but how could I when you seem so distant all the time?” Coriolanus sighed before continuing, “I’ve loved you ever since I met you, but I’ve never been.. brave enough to confess that to you.” 

Y/N was left astonished as she looked at Coriolanus, “Perhaps.. I’ve also fallen for you during our arrangement, yet I’ve been in denial of my own feelings for a while. I’ve always thought you were quiet handsome, husband.” Y/N said with a small smile of her own. Coriolanus looked at her, surprised by her confession, before Y/N suddenly pressed her lips to his in a rough, desperate kiss that had both of them clinging to each other for dear life. Coriolanus’s hands were soon entangled in her hair as Y/N clutched her hands on his blazer. Their mouths fought desperately against each other, teeth clashing and theirs tongues molding together like a perfect puzzle. 

Their heavy makeout session resumed as the limo came to a stop. Traffic in the Capitol was not uncommon, but at this pace, they might as well reach Felix Ravinstill’s mansion at a time where cows are able to fly. The couple broke off after a while, Coriolanus staring down at Y/N’s V-cut dress as she straddled him and kissed his jaw before rising to give him a deep kiss. As they broke off from their kiss, Y/N’s hand trailed down Coriolanus’s stomach as she made her way towards his groin.

Coriolanus groaned as Y/N’s hand lightly touched his aching erection. Y/N continued to kiss his neck as she freed his erection from his pants. His cock was huge and hard, dripping with pre-cum and begging to be touched. Y/N slid off of her seat down to her knees, where she started to lick around the head of his cock while gripping the base with both her hands, working towards kneading his huge, hard balls. 

As she gripped the base of his cock, she slid his dick down her throat until her mouth hit the point where her eyes watered. Her eyes started to tear up as Coriolanus stroked her head, encouraging her to go on. Even with her mouth engulfing his cock with desperate need, there was still a good two to three inches between her mouth and the base of his cock.

Coriolanus’s groans began to sound louder as Y/N tasted the salty sweetness of his pre-cum as she adjusted to a slow and steady pace. In and out. Slowly becoming faster, harder as she sucked and bobbed her head up and down his enormous length. 

Coriolanus’s hand gripped her hair as the limo went over a bump in the road, forcing his cock to go deeper down her throat. Y/N spluttered as her chokes and gurgles filled the car’s sex driven atmosphere as her noises fluttered with his groans perfectly, creating a sex induced symphony. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” Coriolanus groaned as Y/N looked up, her eyes blurry with tears from taking him so deep, “That feels so good.” Pride rushed through Y/N as she looked up to see Coriolanus’s face etched with pleasure.

As she looked up towards him, his eyes were closed as his head tipped back with pleasure, the column of his throat exposing one of the most sexy Adam’s apple she’s ever seen. His chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, his breathing shuddering as Y/N’s head bobbed up and down his dick faster. His hands buried in her hair as her tongue swept the underside of his cock.

She increased her pace, and just as she thought he was about to come, Coriolanus pulled her hair back and lifted her onto his lap as he crushed his mouth onto hers, their tongues clashing together in a never ending battle of sexual tension broken in a dam of hot, heavy sex. 

As their mouths dominated against each other, his arousal met hers as she ground against it, desperate for more. Harsh groans echoed from the both of them, each groan vibrating down each other’s spine in a sex-induced fuel. “You’re going to be the death of me,” Coriolanus heaved as his mouth trailed a line of passionate kisses down Y/N’s neck.

He clenched his teeth on the strap of her dress and he gently pulled it down, exposing her chest as he then raised her hips so he could push her underwear to the side. Y/N didn’t have time to catch her breath as Coriolanus was inside her, filling her to the brim with only one thrust.

Y/N only had a few seconds to adjust before Coriolanus gripped her hips and slammed her down again on his cock, hard, as he drove into her like a beast in heat, slamming in and out of her, up and down. Again and again, faster and harder, until her toes curled, her knuckles white from how hard she was holding him to stay steady as the pressure built inside her and neared its breaking point.

She clung to him, her head thrown back in ecstasy as she trembled while trying to match his rhythm. Y/N bounced up and down, grinding her clit against him on every stroke.

“Just like that,” Coriolanus growled harshly as his teeth grazed across Y/N’s nipple, his breath making her shudder as it created goosebumps on her skin. “Bounce on that dick like the good girl I know you are.”

A loud moan emerged from Y/N’s throat as Coriolanus’s mouth closed on her pebbled nipple and sucked. A huge slick of wetness gushed around them as their arousal dripped everywhere, around her thighs, his leg, and onto the seat of the limo.

“You’re making such a big mess, darling.” Coriolanus groaned while looking at his wife with a lovestruck smile, tugging at her nipple with his teeth after. “Should I make you clean it up, hmm? Have you lick your own cum off the seat like a desperate little whore while I fuck you from behind?”

The fucking happening between them could only be described as rough and depraved, the two exploring each other ravenously as the tension between them exploded into a passionate cocoon of chambered sex in the limo.

His words triggered something inside her as Y/N felt her orgasm hit her a second later with a fiery velocity, making her back arch the highest it could go and her mouth to fall open with a silent scream.

Y/N was trembling from her previous orgasm as she heard her husband let out a chuckle, the sound vibrating throughout her skin as he laid little kisses across her shoulder. “Here I thought you were so prim and proper when I first met you.”

She felt too euphoric to care as his words didn’t really register in her mind when he suddenly moved her into a different position. One second, she was on his lap, and the next, she was facing the seat as he put her on all fours and tugged her hair into a makeshift ponytail and pulled her hair so that her back collided with his chest.

They shared a passionate, fiery kiss as he started thrusting into her with slow movements, pulling away until almost all of him was out before thrusting every inch of his cock into her tight, wet pussy. As she was enjoying the pleasure he was giving him, he suddenly said with a hoarse voice, “Clean up your mess, Y/N.”

She wanted to say no, she truly did but something about that moment made her want to please her husband as she started licking the seat clean while he watched her with a heated glance. “Good girl, Y/N. Such a good girl.” He groaned as she finished licking before he started fucking her again, this time more rough, hard and simply brutal as he pushed his cock in and out of her extremely wet pussy.

The only sound heard around the vehicle was the loud sound of skin slapping as the smell of sweat and sex mixed together beautifully along with her moans and his ravenous groans. As she got closer and closer to her second orgasm, he reached around and pinched her clit as he muttered, “You wanna cum, darling? Show me what a good girl you are and cum hard for me.” 

Her moans were the loudest it’s ever been since he said that as her second orgasm hit her like a tidal wave as he loudly groaned while coming inside her sweet pussy.

Both Y/N and Coriolanus calmed down as they catched her breath, their faces close together as Coriolanus turned her back towards the seat and kissed her with all his might as they revelled in their love for each other. 

“I love you.”, Y/N said as she gazed up at her husband with a dazed but content expression. Coriolanus looked down at her while heaving a huge sigh, “I love you too, sweetheart. So much, I hope you know that.” He said as he closed the gap between them as the limo arrived near the Ravinstill residence. 

[littlethingsinlife]

i'm sorry (happier part 2)

A/N: I was not expecting the amount of positive feedback for the first part and I was even more surprised to see people asking for a part 2! It was originally created to be a one-shot but a part 2 really fit well with how the first one ended. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of the love and support! I hope you all enjoy. I also want to thank my friend, @tummymoth, they really helped me flush out and refine my rusty ass writing (also let me word vomit at them till midnight sometimes).

Pairing(s): Past Lo’ak x Omatikayan!Reader, Ao’nung x Omatikayan!Reader, Slight mentions of Lo’ak x Tsireya

Warnings: Lo'ak's POV, Swearing, Ao'nung saying something sus ONE time

More Info: My vision for this part 2 was to create a reply in Lo'ak's pov. So we'll have a look at what he experienced and thought process (not too sure if any of that made sense) but I was inspired by Joshua Bassett's song "i'm sorry" and it played constantly as I wrote this. Hopefully I was able to do right by my idea haha.

Summary: 7,547

Part 1: Happier

Key:

(Y/N) = Your Name 

Lyrics = Bolded Italics 

Flashbacks = Italics

Na'vi Words:

Yuey - beautiful (refers to a person) 

Skxawng - idiot/moron

Marui - Pods where the Na’vi live

Ilu - sea creature similar to dolphins

Ikran - dragon-like creature 

Tulkun - sentient creatures similar to whales

Olo’eyktan - clan leader/ chief

I thought about what I would say

But I’m two years too late

I can’t imagine how you’re doing these days, hmm

Sure, it wasn’t perfect back then

I’ll be first to admit

But it was better than being strangers again, oh

It had been a couple of months since my interactions with (Y/N) dwindled to terse smiles and barely audible greetings. If you asked me to point out the moment our friendship started to change, I couldn’t tell you. When did our bond start to break? When did it even start to crack? We used to talk every day about all the things we did and planned what pranks to pull on everyone, but now? Now, she barely looked in my direction. Now, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day. 

I couldn’t remember when it started, but I knew that it was somehow my fault I grew distant once we arrived in Awa'atlu. I guess I was just so fascinated by the new environment and people, I didn’t even realize a rift started to form between us in the first place, much less that it started to grow. 

The night before we left to find a new home, I held (Y/N) as she let out sobs filled with fear and anxiety. It broke my heart, but all I could do was hold her and let her cry until she was calm enough to tell me what was on her mind. 

“I-I am afraid, what if the sky people come to find us again? I cannot lose any of you; it would break me into a million pieces,” she sobbed. 

“If they find us then we will fight and we will win,” I reassured her, gently rocking her back and forth. 

“You are an idiot, I was so close to losing you, to losing Kiri, Tuk, how do you think it would make me feel to lose the most important people in my life?” she sniffled. My chest ached at how broken she sounded, but the only thing I could do was assure her and offer her more words of comfort as I held her in my arms. 

“I promise that I will be with you throughout the journey as will my family. We love you, and even if you do not believe it, you are a Sully. And you know what my dad always says.” 

“Sullys stick together,” we chorused.

That night, I cradled her in my arms until she fell asleep. 

Fuck, I completely broke my promise to her, how could I forget? Shaking my head, I tried to reason to myself, “Maybe she just needs time alone. I’m sure she’ll come running back soon once she realizes that it's no fun without me, her best friend.” I felt a small, unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Right?” 

I’m drunk too late talking to the moon

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause

“Bah! Stop lying, I know you (Y/N). You would have fought alongside me and defended Kiri. You are not the same girl I knew in the forest back home,” I muttered, rolling my eyes and getting up to leave. Honestly, who did she think she was fooling? The skxawng had the balls to insult Kiri, and all she did was sit back and watch. She didn’t even make a move to help until it was to help him by pulling me off. “Talk to me when you’ve come back to your senses,” I called over my shoulder, refusing to look back. 

“Lo’ak! Bro—” a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder, jolting me out of my daze, “why’re you just staring off like that?” I whipped my head to see who the hell it was that was bothering me, only to be met with Neteyam.

“Did you have to grab me that hard?” I hissed before my initial anger gave way to a heavy feeling. “It's nothing, just—just lost in thought” I sighed, shrugging his hand off my shoulder. 

“Right, sure, nothing.” he crouched down beside me. “Don’t think you can lie to me lil bro, you’ve been spacing out more than you usually do. I didn’t even think it was possible to be more empty-headed than you already are,” he stated. 

“Wha—no I haven’t,” I tried to argue, but of course, he wasn’t convinced. 

“Can you stop arguing with me for once and just tell me what’s going on with you, you skxawng?” 

I scrunched my nose in distaste and inhaled sharply, “(Y/N) and I have been…  distant,” I admitted, turning to look at him. “She won’t even look at me. She either only answers me with one word or doesn’t answer at all.” 

He nodded, motioning for me to continue. 

“I—the last time we talked, I said things I didn’t mean. Things that just came out because I was so frustrated and… and angry. It was the heat of the moment and I—” 

“What did you say skxawng, did you hurt her?” Neteyam interrupted, face twisting to show the beginnings of distaste.

“No, no—” I sputtered and raised my hands to calm him before he could go on an hour-long lecture that I absolutely was not in the mood to hear. “At least I don’t think I did… I just wanted to ask her why the hell she was helping fish lips, that’s all—” 

“You didn’t answer me Lo’ak, what did you say to (Y/N)? I don’t care why you did it, I want to know what you said to elicit such a reaction from her.” By Eywa, if he would just give me a chance to get to the point—

“I—I told her that she was not the same girl that I knew back in the forest..." my ears lowered as the weight of what I said slowly sunk in. “And that she could talk to me once she came back to her senses,” I whispered, internally cringing at my harsh words.. 

“You fucking skxawng—” 

“Can you stop calling me that? I already know, you don’t need to keep repeating it…” I scoffed, looking out into the ocean. I’m good enough at beating myself up over the hundreds of times I’ve messed up in this lifetime, I didn’t need another disappointed set of eyes on me.

My ears twitched at the deep sigh he let out. “Look, I’m sorry that I keep calling you skxawng but that is exactly what you are for saying something so hurtful to your best friend of all people. The two of you were inseparable the moment you were born. Even if you don’t want to, suck up your dumbass pride,” my ears flattened again. It wasn’t pride, I’m not prideful. It—it was me needing (Y/N) on my side. We used to always be on the same page, and when she said I was wrong for wanting to defend Kiri against those assholes, it felt like she was siding with them instead of me, and—

Okay, so maybe it was pride.

  “Admit that you were wrong, and go talk to (Y/N),” Neteyam insisted as he put a reassuring arm around my shoulders, jostling me around to prove a point. “Your friendship is so much stronger and Eywa knows that a heat-of-the-moment argument isn’t going to break that. You should have more faith in her.” His gaze sharpened before he schooled his expression into something calmer. “Just talk to her, yeah?” 

“...Yeah,” I mumbled, swallowing down whatever argument was trying to bubble up from my throat and prying his arm off me. “You’re right. I’ll just clear things up with her and apologize. Everything will go back to normal after that, thanks bro—for listening,” I agreed. 

Ever since that day

The things I didn’t say They haunt me, oh

And I know that I’m to blame 

So, go ahead and 

Blame it on me, oh

Our lessons on the ways of the Metkayina were finished, so it was rare for the entire group to be in the same place. But every once in a while, we all finished our chores at the same time and found ourselves near the shore where we first learned to ride the ilu, and sat around a fire hours before eclipse, laughing and exchanging stories. 

The rarity of these moments made me cherish them that much more, but two people continued to miss our not-so-scheduled gatherings the past two moon cycles. How was it possible that they were the only two to keep missing our hangouts? Were they together? Fish lips had better not be doing anything to (Y/N) or so hel—

“(Y/N)! Ao’nung! You guys made it!” Rotxo laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah, quit shouting will you?” Ao’nung shot back as he sat down next to Rotxo, (Y/N) smiling softly as she followed. 

“So, what’ve you guys been up to? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ten moon cycles.” Neteyam questioned.

“Teyam, you saw me earlier today, you literally helped me feed our ikran,” (Y/N) joked. ‘Teyam? When did she start calling him by anything other than his given name?

Ao’nung swatted her side with his stupidly wide tail and swung an arm around her shoulder with a remarkably punchable smile on his face “More like he was trying to make sure you didn’t accidentally give them your fingers for breakfast. They would’ve gotten indigestion.”

“Haha very funny Ao’nung,” she drawled, “I would’ve fed you to Tekay instead, but she would’ve gagged the moment she caught a whiff of you,” she scoffed as she quickly pushed him away by the chest.

“Wait… Do they even have a gag reflex?” Fish lips didn’t budge, he just had a dumb look of confusion on his face.

“No, but they would defy the laws of biology to gag just for you,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue and moving to push him away again, but the skxawng had the nerve to pull her into a headlock. 

“Oh, yuey, the ikran won’t be the only ones gagging on me tonight,” he argued with a smirk. 

Did I want to punch that smirk off his face? Did I want to gag? Both? Before I could make a decision, (Y/N) grimaced, pushing him away again and smacking him upside the head. 

“That’s actually repulsive. You’re disgusting.”

“Dude, keep it in your pants, her family is right there,” Rotxo laughed, doubled over as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Yeah, we’re right here,” I interjected with a smile—wanting to join in on the jokes that were being thrown around—but it was hard to keep my face from falling when I saw (Y/N)’s bright expression falter. 

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about before Ao’nung and I arrived?” she asked in a too-bright tone of voice she only used when she desperately wanted to change the subject. As if everyone came to an unspoken agreement to forget about the conversation before, one by one they all started talking about who they thought would win in a fight—Toruk Makto, or our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari. 

The sound of laughter and excited chatter faded as I replayed the previous conversation in my head. When did they start joking around like that? Why the hell did fish lips call her yuey like it was the most natural thing in the world? How come she smiled so easily with him but faltered when she sees me? She was probably smiling with him right now—

I looked over at her, a pit in my stomach already forming at the idea of her smiling at him, but she looked so distant, so withdrawn from everything around her. Before I could even blink, she put a delicate hand on Ao’nung’s arm to grab his attention and mumbled something in a hushed tone. After a few beats of silent conversation, Ao’nung nodded and gave her a look of understanding. 

Why did he look at her like that? How much time did they spend together to be able to understand each other with just a look? How much time have I wasted breaking my promise to her while she grew closer to someone else? 

 Standing up, I made up my mind that I would talk to her and clear up any miscommunication. There was no way in hell I was about to let fish lips ruin our childhood friendship. Before I could even get close, Neteyam pulled me aside. 

“Bro, why’re you glaring at everyone?” he asked with concern written all over his face.

“Glaring?” I tilted my head in confusion. “I’m not glaring, this is just my face.” 

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I’m your brother, I know your face. Whatever look you’ve been throwing at Ao’nung and (Y/N)? You may as well have been throwing knives at them.”

Behind Neteyam, I could see (Y/N) get up to bid everyone good night and slowly walk in our direction. This was my chance, I just needed this overbearing idiot to leave me alone. 

“Whatever look you think I’m giving to them, you’re wrong,” I denied. “Can you not act like this right now?” My tail flicked side to side impatiently, an obvious twinge of annoyance clear in my tone. I licked my lips nervously as I could hear footsteps coming closer. Leaning slightly to the side, I looked behind Neteyam to see (Y/N) and—

Ao’nung? What? Why is he there? 

“Good night,” (Y/N) muttered, not sparing us a glance as she walked past. I followed her every move and—as if everything slowed down—my eyes narrowed as they found Ao’nung’s hand placed on her lower back, leading her gently in the direction of the marui. 

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry 

I’m sorry 

I’m sorry 

Though it's far too late

“I did it! Did you see that Reya?” I shouted—out of breath—as I showed off the shell Tsireya threw. 

“Yes, yes you did it!” She exclaimed, excitedly wrapping her hand around mine. For someone who spent so much time underwater, her hand radiated so much warmth. So easy to hold. My heart swelled with pride as she continued to compliment me. “You’ve improved so much!”

“Yeah? Well, I had a great teacher,” I joked, nudging her softly with my shoulder. It wasn’t just her hands that were warm either, she just seemed to radiate it.

“Oh stop, you flatter me too much,” she denied, fidgeting with her hair. Was that a blush on her face? “C’mon, why don’t we catch up with the others? Private lessons are officially done for the day,” she announced as she led me to shore. Oh Eywa, she looked so pretty like this, with her hair flowing down her back and the way her eyes cast down when she became flustered. And her smile, it was a smile that could knock the air out of my lungs.

While we walked onto shore, we joked around and laughed with each other, talking about anything and everything. The ease of each reply and joke came as smoothly as gliding through the water on an ilu—as easy as breathing. Laughing at another one of Tsireya’s jokes, my eyes scanned the village as we approached it. Families were winding down for the day as they cooked dinner, although I didn’t see mine anywhere nearby aside from Kiri. 

My smile slowly dropped when I was able to make out Kiri looking frantically around as if she was searching for someone. Tsireya and I made our way to her, worry filling the pit in my stomach. As we got closer, I could see Ao’nung climb down one of the roots of the Mangrove trees and make a beeline toward her. My eyes stayed on both of them, making sure that fish lips didn’t do anything to Kiri. 

Ears twitching I was able to make out the words, “(Y/N)? Did you find her? ” from Kiri as they were carried on the wind toward us.

“Yeah I did, I was able to get her to eat, but she’s not looking too good,” Ao’nung replied with concern lacing his voice.

Brows furrowing, I pulled Ao’nung by the shoulder. “What do you mean she’s not looking good? Where is she? What did you do?” 

“What the hell do you mean? I didn’t do shit, freak.” I rolled my eyes at the insult. He couldn’t use that thick head of his to think of anything else to call me? From the pained look on his face, I could tell that my grip on his shoulder had too much pressure. Good. Served him right.

Before Ao’nung and I could continue our argument Kiri groaned, “Will the both of you skxawng shut up! I’ll go talk to her.” My eyes followed her retreating form as she went to talk to (Y/N)—tail lashing back and forth in agitation all the while—before turning back to Ao’nung.

Who the hell did he think he was? I’d beat his skxawng ass if he hurt (Y/N) in any way. He had no right to look so damn worried. They weren’t even close. What even happened? How long had she been missing for Kiri to go to fish lips of all people for help? Should I follow Kiri? Why didn’t (Y/N) come to me? She always came to me, and if she came to me now, I absolutely would have listened. Why—

“Lo’ak? Hey, are you okay? Lo’ak?” a hand softly placed itself on my arm. Closing my eyes in frustration, I sighed. 

“Yeah, perfectly fine.” 

Damn it, was that when it started? How idiotic and blind have I been that I didn’t even notice that her trust in me started to slip and die when it was right in front of me? Why didn’t I go to her and make sure she was okay? I should’ve punched that idiot’s lights out—

“Ao’nung! Stop pulling me you skxawng, you’re walking too fast, slow down!” a hushed voice chastised. 

“C’mon yuey, we only have about an hour before eclipse, we have to hurry!” His voice grated against my ears as he responded. 

“That’s plenty of time!” (Y/N) insisted. I could hear the laughter bubbling up in her voice as she chased after him. “Please Ao’nung slow down, I can’t keep up.” 

“It can’t be helped, you’re so short—” a whack could be heard. “Ow!”

“I’m as tall as Tsireya, you giant!” 

“Both you and my sister are short—Ow! Alright, just because you did that, you leave me no choice,” Ao’nung said, throwing (Y/N) over his shoulder with a laugh. 

The bickering voices got closer, and my eyes narrowed at the way he held her. My breath hitched as he whispered something in her ear that made her ears perk up and her eyes widen. What the hell was he saying to her? Before I could spring up from my spot, Ao’nung tossed (Y/N) in the water, her yelp quickly interrupted by the sound of her body hitting the water. 

I stayed in my spot as shock zipped through my body. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I held, her head popped out of the water, a playful glare on her face. 

“I told you, you left me no choice,” he stated, guffawing at her expression.

“Oh yeah?” she groused, spitting out seawater as she wrung out her hair. “Well fuck you too. Help me out of here?” 

“Only if you say the magic word,” he taunted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Otherwise, I’m afraid my hands are tied.”

“Please, oh great son of our Olo’eyktan, help me out of the ocean,” she beckoned dramatically, sarcasm dripping from every word while she rolled her eyes. “It’s about time you recognized my proud lineage, forest dweller,”  he said as his chest puffed out with a hand reaching towards (Y/N). And there was that stupid smile on his face.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile spreading across her face as she reached for his hand, making sure to tug with enough force to unceremoniously yank him into the water. 

“So much for the son of a great warrior! Your instincts are shit!”

“My instincts are dull you say?” he questioned as his head popped up next to her. “We’ll see about that!” 

“Wha—AHHH—'' she wheezed. “No, please Ao’nung stop! That tickles!” Her arms flailed wildly in an attempt to free herself from his grasp. 

What the fuck.

  My ears flattened at an angle as I tried to process the scene unfolding before me. When did she start laughing with him? That should’ve been me she was laughing with. Not him, not the skxawng who had been nothing but rude to us since we arrived. What… what was I even saying—Fuck I didn’t know anymore. Why did I feel like this every time I saw them together… laughing and making jokes like we used to?

And it was me, it wasn’t you

It’s cliche, but it’s true 

I wasn’t thinking how I usually do, oh

And is your momma doing well? 

Or does she still hate me? 

But it was hard to watch me put you through hell 

I’m drunk, too late, talking to the moon, ooh

Writing songs I can’t sing to you, ‘cause 

Two weeks had passed since I started noticing the changes in (Y/N)’s relationship—friendship?—with Ao’nung. It was like every time I blinked, I could see her laughing loudly as Ao’nung tickled her with a triumphant smile on his stupid face. Since that day, I had been trying to find a way to talk to (Y/N), but she was never alone. She was always with him and when she wasn’t, she disappeared and I couldn’t find her no matter how hard I looked. 

Now here I was, wandering around trying to look for her as I rehearsed what I wanted to tell her. 

Where could she be? Dinner was in an hour and she wasn’t anywhere near our marui. I had to find her soon so there would be enough time for us to talk. I had to tell her that I miss her, that I was sorry for being so dumb, that I shouldn’t have let my pride blind me, and that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. 

There was only one place I hadn’t looked yet… hopefully she was there. 

As I was getting closer to the root Kiri stalked to, I could see two silhouettes beside each other. An all-too-familiar feeling bloomed in my chest once I registered that she was there with him. 

Her melodic laughter made my steps falter. I clenched my fists tightly, contemplating if I should go over there and pull her away, force her to talk to me, to listen. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do that to her, not when she looked so content, so happy. 

Ever since that day 

The things I didn’t say 

They haunt me, oh

I know that I’m to blame 

So, go ahead and 

Blame it on me, oh

“Lo’ak? You said you were going to look for (Y/N) and never came back. She’s already in the marui helping mom cook,” Kiri stated, a twinge of annoyance lacing her voice. “Hey, are you listening?” She shook my arm slightly, making me jump out of my stupor. 

“Yeah, sorry, you said dinner was ready?” I asked as I stared off. 

The sand beside me crunched softly as Kiri made a move to sit beside me. “No, I said that (Y/N) is with mom helping her cook. Where is your head at?” she asked as she tilted her head to try and meet my gaze. “Are you alright?” The annoyance in her voice shifted to concern. 

“I’m fine, yep—just… fine,” I brushed her off, hoisting myself up to head towards Mom and Dad for dinner before Kiri yanked me back down. 

“Lo’ak, don’t pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what’s going on,” she urged. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is that’s occupied your mind lately.”

I inhaled sharply, debating if I should tell her what had been muddying my mind, the reason why I had been so spaced out, why I had been glaring daggers at fish lips each time I saw his stupid face next to (Y/N)—how confused I was. 

“Stop with the thinking skxawng, you might hurt yourself,” she admonished. “Just tell me. It’s not like I can’t handle it.” 

Huffing, I rolled my eyes and turned away from her to look at the sea. I hadn't even said anything yet and Kiri was already making me feel idiotic. How was I supposed to tell her what's been going on like this? Maybe if I kept quiet for long enough, she would get tired of waiting for me to start talking and go on to eat dinner without me. 

A couple of minutes of silence passed. 

I could still feel her staring at me.

“I’ve—I’ve been conflicted,” I started, tongue feeling heavy in my mouth as I continued to stare at the shoreline. “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“What do you mean?” Kiri nudged my shoulder with hers. “Elaborate a little more, I can’t help if you don’t tell me the reason why you’re feeling confused.” 

“...Whenever I see (Y/N) with Ao’nung, it’s as if I can feel my heart aching,” I said, motioning toward my chest to prove my point. “There’s always a… a surge of anger that rushes through me. All I want to do is pull her away from him so then everything can go back to the way things used to be—for us to be okay.”

“Lo’ak…” If I was looking at her, I’d probably see Kiri tilt her head with sympathy. But sympathy isn’t what I needed right now.

“I want her to look at me and smile, to laugh with me, hug me—but now, whenever I get close to her, she’s next to him, laughing with him, cracking the jokes we would make to each other… I just—” I rubbed at my face in frustration. It wasn’t as if the words were hard to come by—I had spent so much time bottling them up that it was hard to stop talking. No, I just hated the fact that I felt this way in the first place. “I don’t understand why seeing them makes me feel like my heart is about to explode—why it makes me want to scream. It hurts.” 

“Lo’ak” she put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you—are you in love with (Y/N)?”

Love?

I sputtered in surprise and whipped my head toward Kiri to see if she was joking or not. What kind of a sick question was that? I wasn’t in the mood for any games. 

“What? No, she’s like my… sister?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “If you’re not, then why does seeing her with Ao’nung hurt you so much? Why do you care as much as you do?” 

“I shouldn’t!” I wrenched my shoulder away from her hand and stood up. The need to move around and do something—anything—was too much. There was too much energy thrumming right beneath my skin to sit still anymore. 

“That’s the problem! After everything I said to her, done to her? I don’t have the right to say I’m in love with her. She’s my childhood friend, Kiri. That’s all our relationship has ever been… I just—” I paused in thought and tried to calm down. “I didn’t realize seeing her have so much fun with someone else would make me feel so, so hollow—” 

“Let me ask you something, you have to promise to be completely honest with me, okay?”

I nodded, not even looking in her direction. 

“When (Y/N) tried to pull you off from Ao’nung that one fight months ago, what did you feel? Angry? Betrayed? Jealous?”

Jealous? Did she really think I was sulking for months because of such a petty feeling? I’m not a jealous person. I never have been. 

“Seeing her jump in to get me off him made me feel like she was siding with him and telling me that I was wrong. Her actions were clear as day to me, Kiri.” I started to pace around. “She was protecting him—caring for him when she should’ve been next to me, helping and supporting me. When she did that—I felt like the only person that’s ever been on my side—” I croaked and turned my head to look at Kiri as tears stung my eyes “The only person who didn’t see everything I did as some sort of disappointment or failure, abandoned me and chose someone else.”

“...”

“I know that I could’ve approached her a different way but how could I when I felt so broken?” I inhaled sharply, eyebrows furrowed. “ It’s all fish lips’ fault. If he wasn’t such an asshole, none of this would have happened, and (Y/N) and I would still be the same, she would still be by my side—supporting me, loving me.” 

“Why do you keep blaming it on Ao’nung?”

“Because it is his fault that things have turned out the way it has.” I threw my hands up, exasperated. What wasn’t Kiri getting? “He’s getting in between my relationship—er—friendship with (Y/N)! If he wasn’t there I would be able to talk to her and tell her I’m sorry, but she’s always with him—”

“Stop! Are you hearing yourself?” She nudged at my foot to interrupt and scoffed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? (Y/N) told me what you said to her, how ‘she wasn’t the same girl’ you knew back in the forest. Do you know what happened when you told her that? Do you know how much pain she was in?”

Pain? I snorted, turning towards Kiri. “Now I know what you’re saying is bullshit. You know how (Y/N) is—if she really was pissed at me she would’ve come to me instead of running to someone else.”

“She wasn’t pissed. She cried because of you, Lo’ak. Because of what you said.” I stopped dead in my tracks to look at her. Kiri's eyes didn’t waver. Another heavy feeling settled on my chest and clawed its way up my throat. If you had asked me what it was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Was I sad? Guilty? Angry? Was I jealous like she said?

I settled on anger.

“If you’re saying what I think you’re saying—”

“The person that found her that night, the one who comforted her? That was Ao’nung. He held her in his arms as she sobbed when I found them.” She stood up too, forcing me to stop pacing. 

“The last thing I want to hear about right now is him, Kiri. What the fuck—”

“Did you ever think about why she’s so comfortable with him now? Why they’re so close? While you ignored her for weeks, he made sure she was okay—made sure she ate every day. He didn’t leave her side until she finished,” Kiri pointed out, and before I could even think to open my mouth to remind her how shitty he was to her especially, she cut me off. “Yes, he was an asshole at the beginning, and yes he has a screwed-up way to show he cares, but he stepped up when you fucked up.” She poked my chest with a glare before she continued. 

“Oh, so I’m a fuck-up now?” I asked wryly. 

“You can’t put all the blame on someone that took care of your best friend. Stop being so blinded by your pride and hatred and see that you’re the real reason why your relationship with (Y/N) isn’t the same as it used to be.” 

My heart sank a little more as I scrambled for something to say. “How could you say that—”

“No, you do not get to interrupt me right now, Lo’ak.” Her eyes flashed with something closer to anger than annoyance. When was the last time I saw her angry? “Listen and listen well. When we couldn’t find (Y/N) and we were looking for her everywhere—he was the one that found her spot, the one she isolated herself to so she could cry alone, and no one would see how much pain she was in. And what were you doing in the meantime?” 

My ears flattened at her rising tone, and I was finally beginning to understand the weight stuck in my throat and chest. Not anger, not even jealousy.

“You were out there with Tsireya, stuck in your own little world.”

It was my fault.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy that you found her but you can’t have both of them. You can’t be that selfish. From (Y/N)’s perspective, you’ve already chosen the one you want.”

“It’s not like I’ve actually chosen anyone yet,” I tried to interject, but all the fight had left my voice as Kiri’s words dug into my skin and sunk in.

“Don’t you dare play with either of their feelings. (Y/N) held so much love for you in her heart, she allowed herself to break to the point of no repair because she didn’t want to show you how much it hurt her to see you at your happiest with Tsireya.” She paused before continuing, her voice losing its edge. “Let her move on, brother. And if it’s Ao’nung that makes her light up the way she used to, then you suck it up and let him. He was there when your pride wouldn’t even let you apologize or even look in her direction. Actually think about how she feels for once.” 

I hated the fact that there wasn’t anything I could say to prove her wrong. 

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about nowadays,” I muttered.

I know that I’m too late

But I’ll say it anyway 

I’m sorry 

I’m sorry, hmm

I’m sorry 

Though it’s far too late 

“I thought I was already doing that,” a faint voice huffed in annoyance. Turning the corner, I saw Ao’nung and (Y/N) standing on the beach together— far too close for my liking. 

“You were, but you got sloppy. Here, you have to move your hips like this,” he said as he corrected her posture. My ears flattened against my head as he put a hand on her hip and gently directed her movement.

Why did he look so gentle with her?

“Ao’nung,” (Y/N)’s voice rang out, clear as crystal despite her uncertain tone. “Are you sure you should be teaching me this? This is a traditional Metkayina dance, right? I’m…” she hesitated, her voice becoming smaller. “I’m not Metkayina—” 

“Yet.” He interrupted, holding her face in his hands. “You are not Metkayina yet. Once you become one of us, you will have to learn the dance to celebrate the return of our spirit brothers and sisters, so why not learn that now?” I hated how reassuring his voice was. The thought of how either of their eyes looked as they held contact made my stomach turn.

“Yeah… you’re right,” she mumbled with an unsure look on her face.

“Woah, hey pretty girl, look at me,” he insisted, laying his hands on her shoulders and bending his neck so they were at eye level. “I’m serious when I say you will become Metkayina one day, so don’t worry yourself over it right now. Okay?” Ao’nung tilted his head to the side, an unbelievably soft expression on his face. “You have me here to help you.”

“Alright…” (Y/N) mumbled, not convinced. 

“If you don’t get rid of that look on your face I’ll throw you into the water,” he said as his face shifted from sincerity to something mischievous. “Or worse… I’ll tickle you,” he threatened.

“You better not Ao’nung, or I swear to the Great Mother herself I will hu—AHH—get away, you skxawng!'' She laughed as she tried to run away, but Ao’nung grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her into his arms. And despite her words of protest, it was clear as day that she was leaning into him while they scuffled on the sand. 

“No!” she shrieked with glee. “You can’t make me go in there again!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, forest dweller!”

A thought occurred. Should I go up to them? We never got the chance to talk, after all. I took a few steps in their direction before freezing. When was the last time I heard her laugh like that? She had the biggest smile on her face, and the one who made that happen wasn’t me—it was him. 

And if you ever hear this 

I hope you know that 

I’m not proud of who I’ve been, ooh

And if I see you again

I hope you know that 

I wish you nothing but the best

And my biggest regret

The afternoon was quiet, relative silence only interrupted by the crashing of waves. Without much to do, I just sat in our marui and lazed around with Tuk until a horn blew. 

“The tulkun have returned! Everybody—our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya’s voice rang out, and when I poked my head out to see what the fuss was about, I saw the megawatt smile on her face, as she swam by on her ilu. 

The village came to life as everyone mounted either ilu or canoe to make their way to the tulkun. From here, I could see little more than a large group of dark shapes making their way through the water. Payakan himself was dauntingly huge, but to see a whole pod of them show up like this? It was spectacular. I watched the commotion unfold from one of the walkways, lost in thought before I felt water splashing at my feet. 

“Come on Lo’ak! Don’t just stand there, let’s go see the tulkun together!” Tsireya urged, still smiling. Shaken out of my stupor, I grinned widely—diving into the water and clambering onto her ilu. lu may be lithe animals, but I could still feel sinuous muscle under velvety skin as it made adjustments in the water to keep balance. 

“I’ll come, but only if you’re offering a ride,” I joked, gently holding her waist and playfully leaning onto her. The cool water around us made her skin feel that much warmer. It was nice. 

Before I could see her reaction—I would’ve bet anything at that moment that her cheeks had become flushed—we began to quickly make our way toward the rest of the clan and the giant tulkun. 

The air around me vibrated with the excitement and happiness of loved ones returning, and Tsireya was no exception—the speed of the ilu gave away her eagerness to be with her spirit sister. As we leaped into and out of the water, Tsireya’s laughter was carried by the wind and reached my ears. That, and the answering whoops and bellows of Metkayina and tulkun alike, was almost contagious enough to get carried away by the energy surrounding us. 

“My spirit sister is down there,” she said as she dismounted, sliding off her ilu and into the water. “Wait here, yeah?” she smiled at me before diving down.  

I was more than happy to watch the Na’vi around me. Looking around, I was in awe of the sheer amount of tulkun gathered in one area, and how each Metkayina was able to identify their spirit sisters or brothers so easily. Looking down into the shifting waters, I saw Tsireya catching up with her spirit sister, waving her hands around and swimming through the water alongside her.

All around, I could hear people telling stories and the deep, booming calls of the tulkun as they responded with tales of their own. New parents were showing their babies and calves, and as my eyes scanned the horizon, I could see small children holding onto the tulkun’s fins as they were lifted to the glittering ocean surface.  

Not too far away, I heard the sound of a body hitting the water and the sound of grating, but familiar laughter along with an indignant (Y/N) sputtering. 

“Ao’nung, what the fu—” 

“Hey, hey, relax! It’s just some water. There are children here, yuey,” Ao’nung chided with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“The parents of those children are going to have to explain what it means to return to Eywa once I’m through with you,” she retorted, treading water and becoming even more unamused when he raised his hands in mock surrender. 

“Woah there pretty girl, you’re talking to the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora—”

“That’s funny, I don’t see Neteyam here,” she interjected, pretending to search the waters around them before turning back to Ao’nung and tilting her head, “do you?”

“Just because you said that you can have fun finding your own way back to shore,” he said as he turned his ilu around.

“Oh, c’mon Ao’nung, don’t be like that,” she rolled her eyes and reached a hand towards him. “You’d really leave me here to fend for myself?”

He turned and wagged a disapproving finger at her, “I’ll consider forgiving you if you say word-for-word that I’m the son of the mightiest warrior in all of Pandora. I can’t have you slandering my father’s name, yuey.” She groaned and leaned back into the water. 

“You couldn’t pay me enough to say that load of bull—”

“Nope!” he didn’t give her a chance to defile the ears of any nearby children and crossed his arms. “I wanna hear you say it.”

“...”

“I’m still waiting.”

With a sardonic smile, she finally caved. “Why don’t I do you one better? You’re the mightiest warrior to exist since the time of the First Songs,” she declared, sarcasm dripping from every word as she slapped at the water for emphasis. 

“That’s what I thought, was that so hard?” Even if I wasn’t able to see them, I still would have been able to hear the stupidly wide smile that made its way across his face.

“Don’t be such a big baby and let me meet your spirit brother!” 

“Just because he’s here to visit today, I’ll let that one slide for now.” Ao’nung rolled his eyes, dismounting his ilu to join (Y/N). “Now hold on tight and hold your breath like how we practiced.”

We? Who the fuck was we? Why was he allowing her to meet his spirit brother? Why were they looking at each other like that?

I watched both of their silhouettes submerge and breathed deeply, forcing my thundering heart to calm as I slowly sank my head into the water. At first, all I could see were blobs floating around in the water, but once my eyes adjusted, I could see the fluid movement of Ao’nung talking to his spirit brother. Eyebrows furrowing, I swam a little closer and hoped that I would be able to see what was being signed. With each movement made, it was clear that Ao’nung was translating the clicks and bellows of the tulkun to (Y/N), and whatever was being said made her smile widen by the second. 

I couldn’t watch anymore as my chest burned from the lack of air and I resurfaced to catch my breath. For once, I was thankful for the lack of lung capacity I had. I climbed back onto Tsireya’s ilu. Seeing as she wasn’t back yet, I sat back and leaned on its neck to face the sky.

Did she always glow like that when she smiled? Whenever she was with him—she always looked so happy, so vibrant. Would she have looked like that with me by her side if I didn’t push her away? If I was there for her like I had promised? I wanted to tell her sorry—that I was sorry for taking our friendship for granted, for making her go through it alone. I wish that it didn’t take seeing her smile and laugh with someone else to make me realize how I felt.

I willed my tears to go away. 

Is this how she felt? Seeing me with Tsireya? Great Mother… I was truly horrible, wasn’t I? I wished things turned out differently. Maybe in another universe, I did talk to her—realized sooner, made her happier—but now? Right now, my heart was torn in two, watching as someone else picked up the pieces of the heart I crushed. No amount of words could fix what we used to have, and even though I wanted to whisk her away, tell her I love her—that I see her—that seeing her with him made my skin crawl, I knew I couldn’t. I was no longer worthy to be part of her life, because of me and my actions alone. 

I had become nothing but a stranger. 

Ever since that day 

The things I didn’t say 

They haunt me

I know that I’m to blame

So go ahead and 

Blame it on me, ooh

I know that I’m too late 

But I’ll say it anyway

I’m sorry

I’m sorry 

Hmm, I’m sorry 

Oh-oh-oh-oh, I’m sorry

Taglist: @midnightliacr @immortalbloodhuntress @arminsfloll @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @dakotali @lexilander27 @zatarias-pandora @vanillawhale @kazupop @owaowaowawa @sopiasleeps @siabhshjsjsjsjshznzn @jimfiqs @ihave500hubbiez

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies, starting with the ones related to the dragon!Malleus drawing from yesterday.

Anonymous asked:

*claps hands and rubs them together*

Hehehehehe dragonussy ✨ (recent Malleus drawing)

Yes! Finally!! 🤤😏 After all this time…!

Anonymous asked:

Mal only tops in dragon form

Look at him, Anon.

Look at him closely.

He is a bottom bitch with a dragon pussy so big that no dick could possibly satisfy it, so he is to stay forever hungry, underfucked and cranky until the chosen one (or a donkey idk) shows himself and fucks him to the ground.

 (In all seriousness, please don’t try this with us. We don’t like switching and we mention it every single day.)

Anonymous asked:

J-Jamil, do you know what it’s like being someone looking at a man that looks the way you do? 🥵

I think he knows, Anon… he knows it well enough to abuse this power that he holds 😔 So cruel and so beautiful!

Anonymous asked:

Have you seen Jamil’s B-Day groovy? He braids his hair and puts all the pretty hair accessories in with magic! Also, his sprites have him with these headbands that he just SLAYS in. It’s not fair for him to be so pretty ♥️♥️

Yes! I really wanted to compliment Jamil for having dedication to do his braids every single day, but then the groovy dropped lol The cat is out of the bag. I guess that makes perfect sense, who would want to spend so much time on that if you can do it with magic… good for him.

The headband looks cute on him as well; this guy is way too pretty for his own good.

Anonymous asked:

Who knew Lilia discovered the theory of relativity, turned down Henry VIII, was the first person (fae?) on the moon, and escaped the Facebook lizard!

(related to an ask from yesterday)

Yes! Especially the last thing!

The fact that no one other than the rest of Diasomnia boys would believe him… younglings are so cynical these days :(

Anonymous asked:

I feel like “Wait for It” by Leslie Odom Jr. really matches Jamil especially his feelings toward Kalim near the end of the song.

I really like this song, Anon. Maybe this is because it’s kind of difficult for me to separate it from its story and Burr and Hamilton specifically…

I agree that Jamil resonates with the feeling of unfairness when some other person just keeps doing whatever he wants and winning, while he has to sit back and wait, but Jamil’s situation still feels very different.

Then again, Jamil got his “what are you waiting for though?” moment, so 🤔 You’re onto something.

Anonymous asked:

You know, when I first read that thing you wrote on Vil being taken advantage of by older men in the industry, all I could think about was "All You Wanna Do" from the Six musical. Like, listen to it while picturing Vil and you'll understand what I mean.

You ask was driving me insane for this entire week, Anon, because I was trying to find one reply where we already talked about Vil in relation to this song, but plottwist: it doesn’t exist lol But we did get an ask about it in relation to Alois! Which is funny because somehow we keep walking back to their similarities from time to time.

To answer your question though: yeah I get it. It’s like the perfect level of uncomfortable coping with the idea of “I am not being taken advantage of, I am just that good compared to others”. Vil probably had his breaking moment when he stopped lying to himself about this whole thing.

Anonymous asked:

Do you watch k dramas? If so, you should really check out Glory. It’s a super intense one

K-dramas aren’t really our thing, but I checked the synopsis of Glory, and honestly it sounds super cool! And has this vibe of a lot of k-movies that we love, interestingly.

Thank you for your recommendation!

[dejavalentine]

should this be how i introduce my @infamous-if mc no am i gonna do it anyway yeah. so hyped for the update!! can't wait to be tortured by my own voluntary choices!!!

Innes Von Yang— ‘Ivy’ or ‘IV’

she/they (nonbinary)

Vampire aesthetic. She also has a lollipop gimmick, as in, she'll go out on stage with one. She's starting bringing unopened ones onto stage to throw into the crowd since it became a thing, but it actually started because she ran onto stage one time with one and some fans thought it looked cool so she kept doing it.

Appearance wise, she has choppy dyed hair with white red and black in the mix. East asian girl with beige skin, but she does full face makeup on stage based around goth and vkei. Might do an outfit collage another time…

Goes by Ivy because it’s her initials (her parents thought von was a middle name and didn’t realize it’s meant to be part of the last name)

Her stage name though is IV, as in the hospital equipment, but cause it’s also the roman numerals for four, her lucky number. She started using it to match with Seven, and he has this as his tattoo because it’s always been ‘her number’ even before it was her stage name. She still has her tattoo as well, and doesn't bother to conceal it.

"Sev!" and "Ive!"

Similarly to how Seven doesn't like Duckstein, Ivy hates her first name and any variations of it, treating Ivy as her name. "Don't call me Nezzie!!" (unless it was high school and you were Seven getting back at them for calling you 'Ducky')

Needs glasses but wears contacts! They worked hard on that eye makeup goddammit!! They just wore glasses back in high school though.

Has a Soundcloud they’ve been using since middle school. They started posting solo songs there which are usually indie pop or some other experimental sound different from the band.

She used to play the violin, but stopped when she got older and focused more on being a vocalist and dance. Ironically? Not that good with plants.

Girl the first meeting between them and August was so funny. “August, meet IV, the one I was telling you about." “You can just call me Ivy. It's nice to meet you." “Isn’t that the same thing…?” “Nah. Ivy— I-V-Y is based off my initials. IV— I and V, is the Roman numeral four.” “…For?” “Yeah, four!” “No for what?” “What do you mean, four what? Four just…means four.”

Deadly arachnophobia. She screamed her fucking lungs out on the bus when they thought they saw one and climbed onto Rowan while shrieking at him to kill it (it was some thread).

They became way more bitter and cynical over time, but out of spite (towards their parents, the world, Seven—) remain stubbornly ambitious and laugh in the face of whatever tries to take her down. It’s just easier and less embarrassing to be volatile than wistful or a doormat. It's for the sake of pride, really.

Closeted Soft Violence fan. You will have to threaten to kill her (or catch her deeply off guard) before she even thinks of admitting this.

She projects anger and spite in front of Seven because she can't help herself. When it comes to being vulnerable, she would always stamp it down or try to cover it up. Inwardly, she’s just really sad and wanting for what’s not really there anymore and never will be. You’re in his dms I’m disgusted by the enormity of my desire!!! We are NOT the same!!!

This is similar to how she acts around her parents. She still really wants to have a relationship with them but feels she's the one who has consistently had to try to have that, which makes her bitter and embarrassed as an adult. They make her feel like a meek little kid again and this time she doesn't even have Seven to fall back on when that happens-- which makes the feeling worse. AUGHH!!!

She’s really only chasing fame because that has to be what makes all of this hurt and effort worth it. Otherwise, genuinely, what was it all for? To share their music? Don't fuck with them like that. It stopped being about 'their' music when Seven left. They're a damn good band, Ivy loves her friends, and she has fun-- but it's just not the same goal without him around anymore.

Used to hate confrontation, but now dives into drama for the hell of it (even if she won’t start it herself necessarily). Generally hates being underestimated or pitied, and doesn’t like getting help because they’re not a ‘charity case.’ Has become kind of trashy and plays comic relief with Rowan alot. Speaking of him...

Her ship name with Rowan was originally ‘IRow’ (Ivy’s a shameless atla fan) but was quickly overtaken by ‘Bloody Hart.’ They’re not into each other but they did kiss while drunk once (which for them kinda solidified the fact they aren't into each other). Fans also coined ‘Snivy’ for her and Seven, though the two never dated.

Is rooting for Piercehart. She has the edits that have started rolling in saved on her camera roll already. They've also been victims of the shipping culture though #AutumnIvy (a typo that just...stuck? August isn't even a fall month!)

Started believing in the idea of fate after Seven left the band. If it brought them together once it can do it again (she refuses to think about it or accept this being the real reason why yet and just chalks it up as her committing to the bit.)

Worst Demeanor: Tweeted ‘Taylor Swift is mid’ then put their phone on dnd for the next two days. She still has it pinned to her profile.

Pinch Me— cause I must be dreaming!

Genre: Alternative Rock, dipping occasionally into Pop Rock

Fandom: Idealists

First album: Burn the Candle

Hit song: At Both Ends

GC: pretenders

xoxo to anyone who got this far have these two drabbles. first one was inspired by the very normal line of thought ‘man what if mc died before they could make up with seven’ (+haha they swapped how they feel about fate) and the second from the fact that sev canonically thought abt mc during their dates like DUDE !!!

[hyperfixationstati0n]

hiii i love your works! can i request spencer x bau!reader who drags spencer to the eras tour but they get called into a case and show up to work in like crazy outfits and get teased by the team??

i LOVED writing this request. The picture above is what i envisioned when describing the outfits :) (also to whoever requested this thank you so much i love love love you!! if you have any requests send them my way!!!!!)

Pairing: Spencer x Bau!kinda femme!reader

Content warnings: None really :)

Word count: 667

Tonight was the night! You were buzzing in your seat, staring up at the stage. Your incredible boyfriend had not only gotten you tickets to the Eras tour, but also managed to get floor seats. You were holding his hand, feeling as though at any moment you would explode from sheer excitement. You look down at your outfit, a jeweled corset top and a black sequin pencil skirt. You actually find yourself at a similar height to him in your black thigh-high boots. Spencer was in an outfit you had personally orchestrated for him-a pastel pink and blue shirt (in honor of his favorite album, Lover), jeans, and his usual converse. You did also convince him to have a matching, very sparkly, 13 on his hand. Just then, the stage lights up. You both jump up in your seats. Over the years you had been dating, you managed to turn him into a certified Swiftie. 

Normally, you were pretty shy. Outside of talking to victims or families on cases, you weren’t very social and tended to stay pretty quiet. But at that moment, you didn’t care how ridiculous you looked. You were seeing your all time favorite artist, with the man you loved, surrounded by thousands of other people who were just like you. You sang your heart out, even getting Spencer to dance with you during a few of the songs. It all came to a crash during ‘Style’-which really should have been a magical moment, considering it was both you and Spencer's favorite song. You have your phone out, recording the song, screaming your heart out-when you see it. A message from Hotch. Telling you that you have a case, and to get to the office immediately. Your heart drops, as well as your phone. You bend down to pick it up as Spencer registers what this really means. You look at him, completely heartbroken. He pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head.

“I’m so sorry” He says, having to yell over the sound of hearing your favorite song-your song-live.

You nod and try to find a way out of the crowd.

“They fucking owe me.” You tell back, grabbing his hand and making your way out of the stadium, out of what was shaping to be the best night of your life, and out to your car.

It’s not until you actually make it into the briefing room that you realize that you both look absolutely ridiculous. Not only because of your outfits-but you were both decently dissheveled from fighting your way out of the crowd. You both stand there like a deer in headlights as the whole team turns their heads. Morgan is the first one to start laughing, both you and Spencer sheepishly taking your seats. Penelope registers why you’re wearing what you’re wearing first, and her heart seems to break for you.

“Nice shirt Reid.” JJ says with a chuckle.

“Oh my goodness…you guys were at the Eras Tour?!” She exclaims, her arms dropping. 

You both nod, as the information sinks in, everyone now less confused about what you were wearing.

Everyone seems very amused, but you were still pissed at the fact that you were plucked out of the concert a little before halfway through. You stare down Hotch, even he was smiling.

“You owe me. I didn’t even get to hear ‘Shake It Off’” You say, trying to seem annoyed, but truthfully you couldn’t keep a straight face with everyone laughing. The situation was too ridiculous, even Spencer couldn’t contain his laughter, as embarrassed as he was.

“If we wrap up this case quick enough, I’ll try to replace your tickets.” Rossi says, chuckling. “I’ll have you ‘Shaking it off’ in no time.”

You all burst into laughter before Hotch speaks over the room.

“Let’s get to work everyone-and you two, change before we leave.” You both gave him a thumbs up, leaning back in your seat to be briefed on the latest case. 

[artmunstudios]

Your springs are reacting. You feel...embarassed.

I don't have the time to draw this out in a complete comic like I'd like to, so enjoy the drabble below in its stead! I was inspired from this scene from Hellboy. Also...a mild excuse just to write these two idiots at their peak dynamic. (to sum up: Pinocchio, a good influence on P? Questionable. A good brother from another reality? Perhaps. The Lampwick they are discussing is not the canon one, but @/wildartsstuff’s)

"Alright, let's see it," Pinocchio waved a hand out as he stepped into the room. "It is nothing," Pino had insisted yet again. His springs reacted to the lie, he thinks, but he was too distracted by the approaching puppet. “It is just a record.” “Nothing, huh?” Pinocchio pressed. “Yes. I enjoy listening to them?” “Yeah—and you always listen to them downstairs in the lobby, not in one of the furthest rooms away from where everyone else sleeps. You don’t even have Gemini on your belt.” “He is resting.” “Right.”

A long silence passed between them.

Wood was lighter than metal—that was just a simple fact. While Pino had become very light on his feet, the weight difference could not be ignored as he tried to keep the record album cover out of reach. Standing up only helped so much, despite the height difference. Instead, Pinocchio simply jumped on the bed, and without hesitation snatched the record album cover from Pino’s hand.

“…’Love Sonnets of Krat”…?” Pinocchio squinted as he read the title out loud. The two puppets exchanged looks. “Oh…buddy…” his brows raised as Pino shrunk back a little. “…don’t tell me this is about Lampwick.” At that, Pino finally slumped back to sit on the bed again. Pinocchio plopped down beside him. “He…makes me feel. He has been kind…and he teaches me things I never thought I would learn.” “You really need to get out more,” Pinocchio sighed as he lounged back. He grimaced. “Oh…fuck me, I’m starting to talk like Anthony.” He hung his head back with a groan. “Great…” Something about the look Pinocchio gave him made his springs and gears tighten. He assumed this was…irritation? “I really care about him.” They stared at each other. Pinocchio nodded, sympathetically. He pushed himself off the bed, and Pino watched the puppet rummage through the drawers and cupboards of the extravagant room. He made a satisfied sound at some point, pulling out a bottle of…if he recalled, the old woman by Venigni’s factory called it a ‘tipple’…?

He heard a popping sound, and Pinocchio walked back to sit beside him again.

“You’re in love,” Pinocchio concurred, and he held the bottle in his direction. “—have a drink.” Pino shook his head. “Can you drink?” “Yes—I can drink things, it’s the eating that I can’t really do.” “Do you wanna try?” His gaze shifted. “…I don’t think Father would approve,” “You have to go anywhere?” “Well…no, Venigni has to decode a—” “Just take a swig.”

He took the bottle, looking over the label before hesitantly raising the bottle to his lips. The flavor was strong, strong enough to make his joints jolt. He looked at the label again, quietly feeling a warmth fill his stomach. It felt somewhat similar to the warmth that would come when his springs would react to a lie, but…something told him this was different. “Good, yeah?” He stared at the bottle in wonder. “An old woman asked me to bring her some, once,” “She said that it was important for her to have.” Pinocchio snorted. “Oh yeah? “…Why not talk to your Geppetto about…what you’re feeling?” “…I…do not think Father would approve…” “Yeah? That a fact…” Pinocchio watched as he took another sip from the bottle before scooting back to lean against the pillows. Pino mimicked him, and the two sat side by side. “…Which song was it?” “The last one, I think.” Pinocchio flipped the album cover over in his hands, looking through the lists of songs. He looked up at Pino as though he were a sodding wet puppy lost in the storm that currently raged outside the hotel. “…’Aimer’…?” When he got a nod for an answer, Pinocchio heaved a long sigh. “Yeap, I’m gonna need a drink, too.” “It’s a nice song,” Pino insisted as he watched Pinocchio stand and walk over to the record player to place the needle at the beginning again. “I like it a lot.” “Ain’t that just the way,” Pinocchio sighed. “What way?” “It’s a metaphor, kid. Grimme that bottle.” Pino silently handed the bottle over to Pinocchio as he plopped back down on the bed. It surprised him, a little, that he could handle such a thing so palatable despite being a puppet. Wasn’t the feeling overwhelming?

The two sat in silence for a while, listening to the music that played while passing the bottle between each other.

By halfway through the second listen-through of the album, only a little less than a third was left. “Have you ever been in love…?” “Oh yeah,” Pinocchio scoffed loudly. “Lots’a times.” He took a long drink. “Fuckin’…fuckin’ sucks,” he said as he passed the bottle. “What did it feel like, for you?” “Like…like…you’re gonna throw up your insides,” Pinocchio gestured vaguely. “Your insides an’ butterflies an’ flowers…get all…warm ‘n fuzzy—just wanna curl in their arms all the time, feelin’ safe ‘n warm…” Pino was thoroughly confused, and he frowned. “But that doesn’t sound bad at all…” “You ever throw up before?” “No…I don’t think so,” Pinocchio was insulted. “Oh—oh he jus’ keeps on winnin, don’tcha?!” He said, snatching the bottle when it was held out to him. He glared into it. “Get to look all…human on the outside, like a…perfect pretty-boy,” he turned the bottle end upright when he drank. “—even the  people tryin’a kill you think yer…all hot, an’ now he’s sayin’ he never even…puked on the sidewalk,” he slumped back in a huff, and considered. “Well…just wait ‘till mornin’—you’ll change your tune then. Probably, if you actually can,” Pinocchio grumbled, absently tugging at the necklace under his shirt. “‘Ssat…?” Pino asked, gingerly taking back the bottle. “Whus what?” “Ssat—“ Pino poked at Pinocchio’s chest. “Keep my ‘gagement ring on a necklace,” Pinocchio said, pulling on the chain to hold up the plain gold ring attached to it. “Lose it if I didn’t—doin all…flips an’ stuff fightin…” “Who is she?” Pinocchio snorted. “His name is Razel. Think you’re the only gay…puppet twink?” He waved Pino over. “Gimme that, ‘m gettin ‘nother sip,” Pino pouted as he handed Pinocchio the bottle. “Don’t gimme that look,” “You…don’t like me, do you.” It came out more like a statement than a question. And for what it was worth, it did catch Pinocchio off guard. He stared at the automation for a long while. Eventually, he sighed. “No, I…didn’ ever say that—I don’t…not like you?” “You get angry at me all the time…and…everything about my…being, seems to upset you,” Pinocchio hung his head with an even longer sigh. “No, I…fuck, okay, look,” he pacifyingly handed the wine to Pino. “—allathat…it’s…that all ‘cause’of my own problems, got nothing to do with you,” he watched as Pino took a tentative sip before glancing away. “Ah…I dunno…jus’…jealous of you, guess...even if it’s all gone to hell here, you’ve still got it somehow made here!” He gestured widely. “You live in this fancy five-star hotel, you’ve…got friends, and actually manage to keep ‘em, your papa actually seems to like you…you didn’t even really have to learn to fight, allathat came natural!” He grimaced at the ceiling. “Then…there’s me—stuck in this…block’a wood, just about every friend I came across as a kid pretty much died…an’…papa…my papa’s…gone. Not that he liked me much, anyway…” Pino looked around the extravagant bedroom, his gaze settling on the window. He stared quietly at the raindrops that slid down the glass. “…You…can feel things,” Pino said, his voice quiet. “You always could have…you never needed to learn. You…can get angry, frown, and smile,” “You can do that too, though,” “Not smile. Smiling is…difficult. It looks…’uncanny’, that’s what I heard.” Pino looked down at his legion arm, flexing his fingers. “Appearances only go so far…when people hear my gears…they usually turn. I’m…not a who—I’m a what.” "'...s'all stuff you can learn, though..." "You can cry." "Can't you?" "I don't think so—I don't think I have tear ducts." They looked at each other, something in that silence making the two sober up a little. Pinocchio glanced away. “Right…guess…there’s always gotta be somethin’,” he mumbled. “I don’t like killing things, all the time…” “Preachin’ to the choir,” Pinocchio said. “What do I do after this is done…?” “Fuck if I know that answer—I barely knew what I was doing when I was actually a human.” They both grew silent again, somehow feeling drunker in those few minutes than when they had gotten halfway through the wine bottle.

“Bah, that’s it—sober moment over. Where…where is your lover-boat, anyways?” Pinocchio snuck in an extra sip before Pino had clumsily taken the bottle. “He…he’s…he…” Pino struggled to finish the thought. “Treasure.” He decided on. Pinocchio hummed. “Right, yeah…s’a…thing here, yeah…” Pino peeked into the bottle, fascinated by the way the red liquid rolled inside. He swayed side to side. He looked at Pinocchio as though he had suddenly sprouted butterfly wings from his ears. “…Huh?” “I said—” Pinocchio stopped, briefly forgetting just what he had said. “I said—what kind of market does this place even have?” “Oh, it’s…it’s…it’s…” Pino’s brows furled as he absently drank from the bottle. He had downed half of what was left without even realizing he had done it, for he was too focused on thinking. “Hey, hey—” Pinocchio swatted at his hands, managing to pry the bottle away when they became unsteady. “—you gotta…gotta take it easy, you can’t jus’ go an’—” “…s’like…jus’ one…” Pinocchio squinted at Pino as if he had suddenly sprouted the ears of a jackass. “Huh?” “Only…really…see one…” Pino motioned vaguely. “’ryone’s…i’side—inside…houses,” he made a box shaped gesture. “Windows’all…shut…’cept for…sometimes,” “Like tipple lady,” Pinocchio concluded. “Yes,” “Yeah,” “Mmhm.” “Got it.” Pinocchio took a sip, and then another. “Okay so…treasure…guy…” “Lam’wick,” “Yeah, that guy,” Pinocchio passed the bottle back, and heaved a deep sigh. “I wish Anthony were here…he’d know what to do—what to tell ya. He’s’a cricket, so ya know he’s real smart an'all, an’ gives good advice an’ stuff…” “Cricket…” Pino said, moodily staring down the bottle. “…Glow.” “Nope, not mine,” “No glow?” “No glow. He’s…” Pinocchio gestured high above his head. “..s’all tall an’…an’ he’s a doctor, he's…doctor, so all extra-smart…” They both grew quiet. “…I don’t…think he’d…like me,” “Wick,” “Mm-mm. Doesn’t like…puppets. Calls Father an me…devil,” Pino frowned. “’M notta devil, m' a…puppet,” “Preachin’ to the choir,” Pinocchio chorused. “Cross a bingo, take a shot—nobody ever likes us wherever we are,” Pino turned the empty bottle upside down. “Fox…an’ cat,” “Oh you got a pair too, huh,” “Cat…called me…dumbass,” “’bout right.” “Wick wouldn’…want a dumbass,” “Fuck that cat,” Pinocchio slurred aggressively. “You’re not—you’re…smarter n’…probably any version of us out there,” he shook Pino, drawing his attention away when the automation tried to use the wine bottle like a telescope. “’Sides, bein’…bein’ kinda a dumbass is our personal brand’a specialty. If Wick don’t want that then…then…he can…stick…” he squinted, trying to concentrate. “…’m too drunk to think of a insult, but…but that’s what you should think if that’s how he gets,” Pinocchio concluded as he flopped onto his back. He waved a finger in the air, mumbling something, but Pino was having a hard time concentrating on much else, at this point. He blew into the bottle, the loud sound coming from it startling him.

Polendina knocked before entering the room, Gemini in hand. “Excuse me, but your lantern keeps requesting to be with you, and it is important to not leave your items unattended…” he stopped short, watching the pair of raven-haired puppets snooze away while slumped over one another. “What the heck happened here?!” Gemini cried as Polendina stepped around to get a closer look. “Ah.” He picked up the empty bottle, having long since been abandoned at the bedside. “Ohh, I don’t think Geppetto would like this one bit,” Gemini said. “There is no need to say anything,” Polendina concluded. He set the empty bottle on the dresser, and placed Gemini at the bedside table. “After all, there are seldom moments of rest.” “True…I’ll keep an eye on them, regardless.” “I shall come by later to check in.” Polendina said, leaving for the door. He stopped, thinking for a moment before closing it.

Perhaps he should prepare some hot towels for when they wake.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

Omg hiiiiii how are you!!!!!! You know what? I’m a little tipsy and like like like I wonder what typ of drunk tseng would be? I think he’d be the type of drunk that just hmmmmmmmm stands in a corner and listens to linking park and doesn’t walk to anyone. If he can get drunk that is hehe

-abortion anon <3

Hello abortion anon! I’m pretty good right now I’d say, I hope you’re doing alright!!

And oh dear anon, How I felt your statement except I’m drunk and it may show frrl. Am I gonna answer this right now? Course! No better time to answer drunk shit with drunk shit.

Currently sitting in the corner listening to Tool (ænema) and I expect Tseng would do something similar for sure. I’m certain he can get drunk, I think that would solely be harder for the SOLDIERS. Tseng does know how to limit himself though. I highly doubt he likes being blackout drunk (I hate it personally so projection perhaps?) but I feel like he’d be super uncomfortable with not being aware of his surroundings. He’d let himself get fucked up enough to be more social than usual but never drunk enough that he’d be incapable of taking care of himself. Even if it’s just Tseng holding his hair out of the way while he vomits cause he failed to eat anything before drinking. For the most part though I bet he handles his liquor damn well and has an iron stomach, it’s only gotten out of hand on a few occasions cause of Reno and Rude encouraging him to do something uncharacteristic of him (sometimes anything sounds like a halfway decent idea when lit)

(The things nobody expects from him. Gonna project again? Prolly.) “Off that Taylor Port, I might teleport myself into some coochie” ass guy. Does Tseng like ratchet bitches? Fuck I do and I can be one given the right drinks. If it’s not you and he’s single, catch him getting some ass thrown at him in the crowd. Now he is picky about who, so his standards of course are high. I bet he likes being seduced, subtle touches that are innocent enough to brush off but you both know what this is leading to. This exchange with strangers doesn’t happen often, but when it does, he fucks. Also when anyone points out Tseng’s action he pretends to be dense about the situation. Now drunk Tseng in a relationship? You looked at him for two seconds too long and now his dick is hard. Definitely are gonna get folded like a pretzel and fucks for a long goddamn time. Public quickies/car sex is all over the fucking table. Such a fucking eater he is. Oh I can’t forget his boyfriend, drunk nights with Rufus are some of the few times Tseng bottoms with him.

Alright alright anyways. I bet he’s an affectionate drunk. A bit more affectionate in public than usual, but in private? That man is all over you. Cuddles and cheek kisses ugh. Oddly playful. It’s almost sickeningly sweet but it’s so ungodly adorable and one just can’t help but giggle at his antics. He still isn’t a comedian, at least not to most, I think he’d have a hilarious sort of dry humor. Is the type to like certain songs while he’s drunk but once he sobers up he’s asking himself a lot of questions when he listens to it again.

I very much think he’s the type that’s just a more loosened version of himself. Some things he doesn’t usually display start creeping out just a bit.

[jolalibrary]

I am excited for ghost and helen car ride 👀 we need more sass and snark hehe

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x F!Reader (Helen!Reader)

an: just a little something for a Saturday 🚘

He doesn’t elaborate on why he’s here instead of Soap, not when he loads the car, not even when the tyres hit the open road.

No explanation provided an hour in or after your two’s pit-stop-fuck. It niggled, tightened in the back of your mind that he was keeping things from you that he could tell you. Something he promised he’d never to do.

But then, you equally had promised not to put yourself in danger, and here you were accepting a mission not necessary for a medic.

You had ways of pulling information from Ghost, and even ways of retrieving it from Simon.

Both begin in the same way, following a similar pattern: indifference. You lull him into believing telling you would be better than whatever the fuck you’re doing. A bribe, an exchange.

Your chosen play was to keep messing with the radio volume and station until it wound him up. Watching his eyes dart in your direction, even if you never met them. His hips shifted periodically, making your eyes stare at the thighs you’d between your own only hours ago.

That was his play—his line of defence: his ridiculous body and his ridiculous way of knowing every inch of yours.

Except, he’d played his hand too soon. Your knickers are still in his pocket, and his cum is still very much inside of you. So, you turned the volume up another two notches, wondering how tight his jaw was under the thin fabric on his face.

You can’t assume you’re getting to him.

That’s how you fail. But, the volume is piercing your ears, so you have to wonder if it is for him. The songs neither of you know blaring, filling the small space with sounds both irritating to you, and him.

So, naturally, you turn it up again. Almost pulling your hand back when his wraps around yours, gripping it with enough purpose to tell you you’re getting to him—but not enough to hurt.

“You not like that song?”

“Enough, Helen. For fuck sake.”

You grin, keeping score as the sun sets. The ambient temperature lessens as the breezes rushes through both of your open windows. Allowing clothes to fall away from damp skin as the low light catches the metal in the car and the metal on his left hand—the evidence of your cover.

A story not far from the truth. One you’d supposed to be spinning with Soap, and not your actual lover.

Soap would also have been bare faced.

“I’d have been fine with Soap, if that’s what you were worried about.”

His hands tightens on the steering wheel. “Wasn’t worried.”

“And, as good as his singing is, it wouldn’t have swayed me from your broody nature. In case, you’re jealous that he’d get to spend two to three days with me.”

He shoots you a glare—eyes standing out due to the lack of paint around them. The same ones you see when he’s bare to you, all walls down, and willing to let you in.

Pieces of truth slide into place in front of your eyes, the puzzle almost readable—almost identifiable.

“How you going to be explain the balaclava, hubby?”

You watch for him tensing at the affectionate name. He doesn’t. If anything, he doesn’t react at all. Likely knowing it’s what you want—that right now the best the two of you have is fighting and fucking to make up for it.

He won’t tell you what’s wrong, and you’re already bored of him being difficult.

“Tell them I’m ugly. Warn ‘em I’m doing them a favour by keepin’ it on.”

You smirk, letting your head roll back on the seat as the breeze whips your hair around your neck. “Next to me, they won’t believe that.”

“Bit full of yourself, Helen.”

“If I remember, I’ma bit full of you.”

“Watch it.”

Snorting, you roll your head to look at him. “Or what? You’ll pull over and stuff more of yourself in me… cause I’ll tell you now, Simon. I’d like that too much for it to be a punishment.”

“You’re something else.”

“It’s why you married me, remember?”

“Engaged, Helen,” he snarls, and your eyes narrow at his side-profile and his tone.

Because you know that, know that the two of you haven’t quite crossed that line just yet. But for this… you’re married. A lie that you’ll need to spin when you reach the end of this particular half of the journey.

You almost saying that, it fermenting on the tip of your tongue.

But his hand takes yours again, clutching it, weaving his bare fingers in between yours. And you let the words die, wilt and fade. Beginning to maybe see what may have been bothering him.

Maybe.

[theverumproject]

Get To Know Me Tag!

Thank you for the tag @rivenantiqnerd!

I rambled a little too much in this one, woops.

Rules: Answer the questions because I want to get to know you better :D 

Do you have a pet?

No, but I frequently get visited by a cat that is older than I am (She's like 22 or something lol). But my mom, my sister and I have been wanting to get chickens!

Comfort food?

I don't really have one? A steak, maybe?

How many languages do you speak?

My native language is Swissgerman, so naturally I also speak High German and obviously I speak English. So let's say 2.5 languages, because the two Germans are similar, but not the same.

I wanna learn many more languages though, that includes; Romansh, Italian (we had it in school for six fucking years but I can barely speak it), French (these three are the other national languages of Switzerland), Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Greek, Russian, Japanese, Welsh, Old Germanic, Latin, Old English and perhaps spanish. There are just sooo many beautiful languages in the world, though I know I will probably never get past the 2.5. 

Random fact about yourself

As a kid I got so sick of radio music that I didn't listen to any songs with lyrics in them for about 2-3 years. I only listened to Dubstep, which eventually turned into only listening to Deathstep (and some robo and metalstep) for about 2 years.

One day I found a remix of the songs Psychosocial and The Devil in I by Slipknot. Slipknot was my gateway band to metal. I practically only listened to them for probably more than half a year.

And then I discovered aliencore. Aliencore is a subgenre of death metal in which, you guessed it, everything is about aliens. So I got obsessed with Rings of Saturn at first (I still mourn them deeply) and later on with Aversions Crown. So I pretty much only listened to them for probably more than half a year too.

Then I got obsessed with Behemoth and Gorogoroth for a while, that's how I began listening to black metal too. About one or two years ago I got obsessed with Ghost and only listened to them for more than half a year, AGAIN!

That was the last time I obsessed over a band. Now I just listen to a bunch of different bands and artists. I don't have a favorite band at the moment, but my favorite song is Sommer by Nargaroth. I also love Starchild by Wintersun, Fading Memories by Thy Pallor, Wieczernia by Batushka, The Sun, The Moon, The Star by Aether Realm, Million Year Summer by The Angelic Process, The Satanist by Behemoth and a bunch of Slipknot songs like Gently, Iowa, Scissors and The Virus of Life.

I really just rambled about my entire musical journey, fucking hell.

Something you’re proud of?

In my last year of school, we had to do a final project. I chose to write about how I imagined the future to look like. I researched everything to be as scientifically accurate as possible. I had a bunch of ideas for topics, and in the end I ended up with six. They were: “Can you bring artificial intelligence to life?”, “What could the future of space travel possibly look like?”, “How could the cities of the future look like?”, “Will humanity go extinct?” “What is the technological and human singularity?” and “What is my idea of transhumanism?”. (The original titles are in German).

I had a blast during the presentation, I even made somebody cry actually. I showed them a video of ChaosGPT and it actually frightened some. One girl was wiping her tears away. To me this was really funny, because I put the video on 2x speed which made the Mozart music in the background sound really funny. Imagine some evil AI planning to destroy the world, while a girl is crying as Mozart is playing at 2x speed in the background and I just stand in front of the whole class and two teachers, trying to hold my shit together.

Anyway, I got a 6 (best possible grade) for the written work, a 6 for the journal and a 5.8 for the presentation (I talked for over an hour, which was a little too long, but the rest of it was fucking great!!!), so I received a -6 for the whole project. My other teacher also gave me a 6 (It's an unofficial grade though) and the whole class had to give me a grade too, which were all 6s too!

So yeah, I did a fucking amazing job!

Tags: @teamarine777 @creative-author + open tag!

[titan-god-helios]

pt1 of oddly specific things that give me gender affirmation/euphoria (that may not be that odd but i didn’t expect them so shut up <3 /lh):

wallets !!!! a good stereotypically masculine wallet that’s small and leather and still has lots and lots of usability and looks like something a dad would use makes me feel so masculine !! love it

any type of trouser or bottoms with more than two pockets

windbreaker jackets - they make me go “FUCK YEEAAHH im such a boy a man a male tm yessir” and idk why they just do tho, even the fem ones to an extent

plantssss i love plants and they make me feel like a little gardner boy just yessss

energy drinks for some reason ???? they make the internal man dialogue of “IM A MANNN” go haywire so much

hairbands on my wrist and an excess of those wooden beaded bracelets or even stone beaded jewellery

cross earrings but just bc they look cool (i’m an atheist so yuh, i still love people who have religion too, y’all are awesome <3)

doing the thing with your hair where you take hair from one side and flip it on the other with one hand and its kind of like running your hand through your hair but with long hair…. esp of my other hand is on my hip and i scrunch my face ?!?!?!??!? so boyish i feel so good

dancing like an absolute idiot. i dont know why but every time i just do a little jig for myself by myself my gender is just like “yessssss you’re a boy frfr slay king”

watches !! big chunky analogue watches

following on from the last point, clocks too

mushroomsssss they make the more nonbinary side of me jump for joy cause like “yes ofc im a fucking forest goblin dude i love mushrooms im just a goblin guy leave me alone and let me love the shrooms”

sketching in public. it just doessss

camoflague clothing !! i mean this was probably obvious but when i came out to myself and i wore camo cargo pants (with loads of pockets mind you) i just freaked out in joy i felt so manly that day it was glorious

singing !! singing my favourite songs as low as i can go with it still sounding good

just being as stubborn as possible but in a non problematic (for the most part) way. like if you give me the option to make things easier and more convenient or not i’ll choose the harder option. idk it just makes me feel manly (is this toxic masculinity ?? i dont know but i try to remind myself that this only applies to non mental stuff so i don’t end up self-harming againnnn)

being unnecessarily overdressed

not brushing my hair till its perfectly untangled and just letting it be a bit wild - this came with me figuring out that my hair type is waywayway wavier/curlier than i thought my whole life and learning to take care of it the best i can whilst i have like zero products for waves/curls on hand and as a bonus i felt more masc !!

looking at the stretch marks underneath my boobs in the mirror. i have a large-ish chest i think (DD cup), plus i’m a lil chubby, so i have loads of stretch marks around my chest, and the ones underneath look like top surgery scars, so if i’m having a particularly rough day with my chest dysphoria i’ll look at em and feel a bit better

using my stim toys and accommodations with friends and by myself for my autism and adhd - being capable of taking care of myself finally makes me feel really confident and as a result quite masc as well

stimming by flipping my beaded bracelets between my fingers - this is specific to greek and possibly other cultures similar to greece but it’s typical for a lot of greek men to flip long-ish beaded loops (?? they’re not jewellery and specifically made for this but idk what they’re called so) between their fingers in a similar fashion, and it’s a thing that my dad does a lot when bored. whether neurodivergent or neurotypical it’s a very common thing for men and so doing it makes me not only feel good stimming but also feel manly as fuck ! it feels even better now that my mum saw me doing it once and said “what are you a man ??” and being closeted i had to say “idc im just flipping a bracelet why does it have to be gendered” BUT INSIDE I WAS SO HAPPY

playing card games - when i was younger and even now my dad and grandpa would let me sit in on their card games late at night when we visited them in greece and now when i play card games i always feel so calm and comforted and quietly masculine

drinkingggg now hear me out yes im a minor but i’m also half greek so as a result whenever my parents drink im allowed a bit too (under supervision ofc). anyway that out the way, i have a pretty fucking high alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that it comes from my dad (being asian, my mum’s tolerance is dogshit) plus the stereotypical “men can drink more” stuff i feel SO MANLYYYY when i can quite literally drink more than my dad and feel okay whilst he’s starting to be tipsy (just to clarify though, the stereotype is bullshit and should NOT be perpetuated as much as it is, at least with intent. you guys with low alcohol tolerances are just as manly !! maybe you’re even more manly than those with high tolerance !! and women with high tolerances, you’re still very fem and very cool and valid as a woman and those who aren’t binary or aligning you are valid as your gender or as no gender no matter what tolerance you have <33)

caring about myself more. and i don’t mean in a “i’m gonna have a nice fucking bath and be happy about it” way i mean in a “i’m going to feed myself well, drink lots of water, get good exercise and be respectful to myself at the very least” way. and also in the bath way. baths are nice

collecting shit !! idk dude but having a collection of dumb shit just makes me feel so masc and good cause i swear to the stars nearly every dude i’ve met and stepped into the house of has a collection of SOMETHING whether it’s games, books, rocks, crystals, cookbooks and recipies or art supplies or whatever makes them happy. like legit fucking anything and i like collecting stuff too so its a bonus !!

just being nice. just being a nice dude makes me feel so manly

being silly and myself and doing dumb shit and being unapologetic about it (im still working on being able to do this since i struggle a lot but when i can it feels so good !!)

being stupidly loyal to something equally stupid /pos. like yes i have had this stuffed animal since the dawn of time no i will never get rid of her. she’s a genderfuck lesbian rainbow tiger from buildabear workshop who goes by the name of Roxy i will never get rid of her >:(. and so what my ring is so rusty it makes my skin green every three days ?? i clean it and take it off when it gets out of control back off bitch its mine. why are you so concerned about my shoes ????? fuck you i like them how they are (falling apart and dishevelled, the sole is halfway off already and it hasn’t been even remotely okay since three years ago) and they still fit and work so i’ll wear them until i literally cannot anymore. its so fun and it’s such a “just some guy” activity AND it makes my autism goblin feel safe and good too so its great would reccommend

just talking about stuff i like and that makes me feel good but not to anybody in particular. maybe in my notes, maybe on tumblr (like right now !! i’m doing this one right now !!) maybe on my personal dm to myself. it just makes me feel like a boy i love it PLUS i dont actually have to stress about humans on the other end of it so i feel way more confident and comfortable and as a result even MORE manly !!

ice cream on cones. i will not elaborate

travelling and exploring !! like legit anywhere. as long as i’m moving from one place to another and exploring the world i feel so happy and right and also masculine it’s great i love travelling so much. on holidays i enjoy the act of travelling even more than the holiday itself tbh

(to clarify i identify as male but a bit fucked in the gender - if you want a label i still identify as nonbinary but male aligningg <3)

[everybodyshusband]

"no one understands me like you do"

mushy may ; day sixteen !! (approx. 1.6k words)

read under the cut or on ao3 :)

(i'm still obsessed with @crimsonclergy's coffee shop au fic, thanks for asking :) and i haven't thanked crow in a while, so thank you @forlorn-crows for putting the mushy may prompt list together <3)

this one contains: they/them rain, hypermobile rain, hypermobile(?) dew, post-self harm dew, discussions of self-harm, hurt/comfort, australian mountain

Dew wanders around the cafe, rearranging the tables, collecting dirty cups and plates, and wiping empty tables down while there’s a lull in customers. Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say that he limps around the cafe. His leg hurts like a fucking bitch and he can’t wait until he can rest on his break; there’s nowhere to sit down while he’s working unless he’s sitting on the floor and restocking the lower shelves behind the counter.

Admittedly, giving in to the urge to cut himself right before his shift was probably not the smartest idea he’s ever had, but he’s proud to say that, somehow, it’s also not the dumbest. Every time he moves, he can feel the cuts stretching, and little trickles of blood run down his leg, smudging between his thigh and the inside of his jeans. He hasn’t covered or cleaned them properly, and he knows he’s going to be dealing with red, angry scabs on his thigh for at least a week because of it, but he didn’t have the time to look after the cuts properly. By the time he’d washed his blade and wiped the blood off of his thighs—and fucking carpet—where it had dripped down, he was already almost late for his shift.

Besides, even if he’d waited to do it at work, it’s not like there’s a place at the cafe he could have done it; the staff toilets have a faulty lock, and Dew’s lost count of the amount of times Rain has come barging in while he’s been in there. He’s not willing to risk the door banging open and Rain staring at him while he explains to them why he’s got the blade from a children’s pencil sharpener slicing through his skin.

“Are you… alright, Dew?” Rain’s voice startles him out of his thoughts, and he looks up from the table he’s wiping to see them staring at him in concern, the spoon in their hand frozen over the box of tea leaves. “You look like you’re limping.”

“Hmm? Oh,” Dew laughs. “Yeah, I’m okay. My, uh– My hip’s flaring up I think.” It’s a good lie. Believable, convincing.

Rain winces in sympathy, their knees do a similar thing to Dew’s hips; they deem it a good day if their knees only give out once or twice. “You need a heat pack?” They ask, raising their voice over the sound of the coffee machine boiling water. “I think I’ve got a wearable one with an adjustable strap in my bag, it might fit ‘round your waist.”

Dew’s touched by their concern, but—since his hip isn’t actually flaring up; small mercies, and all that jazz—he shakes his head. “I think I’ll be okay,” he assures them, “but I’ll let you know. Thanks, though.”

“No worries,” they smile, pouring the finished tea into a takeaway cup and sliding it across the counter. “This is Mountain’s, by the way.” Dew perks up at the mention of his partner’s name, placing the spray bottle down and walking—limping, wincing, whatever—over to the counter. “I know you’ll say no,” Rain starts, “but since you’re in pain, do you want me to walk it over?”

Dew smiles and shakes his head, swiping the cup off of the counter. “She’ll be right. His shop’s only next door.”

“She’ll be right?” Rain parrots in confusion.

“Picked it up from Mount,” Dew explains. “I dunno why he says it. Some kind of weird Australianism, maybe?”

“Christ, that man confuses me,” Rain mutters under their breath.

Dew snorts in agreement and begins making his way towards the door. Now that Rain can’t see his face, he winces openly, screwing his face up tightly with every step on his right leg. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Have fun,” Rain sing-songs.

“I will,” Dew replies in the same tone. The moment the door swings shut behind him though, and he’s out of Rain’s view, he sags against the wall and takes a deep shuddering breath. On the exhale, he pushes himself off the wall and wills himself not to cry as he walks the few metres to Mountain’s florist.

When he gets there, Mountain is ringing a customer through at the register, so Dew places the tea on the counter with a small nod in Mountain’s direction to make sure he actually sees the tea, and begins to walk out.

“Sorry, one moment,” he hears Mountain tell the customer “Dew! Wait a minute, will you?”

Dew nods and hobbles over and leans on the counter-slash-workbench to wait while the customer finishes paying for their flowers. It’s a lovely bouquet they’re buying; all bright reds, cheerful yellows and fiery oranges arranged neatly, but in a way that looks intentionally hap-hazardous—what with all the extra stems, leaves, and clusters of small white flowers trailing lazily out from in between the main flowers. It shouldn’t look nice, but it does, and Dew doesn’t know how Mountain does it.

It’s only when the bell above the door rings to signal the customer’s departure from the shop that Mountain speaks to Dew. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“What?” Dew furrows his eyebrows in confusion as he moves behind the counter to sit down. He’s never been more jealous of the fact that Mountain is allowed a chair behind the till.  “Nothing’s going on, everything’s fine.”

“You’re limping,” Mountain notes, pointing to Dew’s thigh.

“Y– yeah… My hip’s flaring up?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement, but Dew thinks his point still gets across well enough. 

“When your hip’s sore, you shuffle. You’re not shuffling, love. You’re limping.” Dew should be touched by the concern shining in Mountain’s eyes, as well as the fact that Mountain seems to understand him and his functions more than anyone else, but it only makes him feel bad. Mountain crouches down in front of the chair, placing a  hand delicately on Dew’s good leg. When he speaks, his voice is impossibly kind and gentle. “What’s going on, sundew?”

Dew tries to stop the flood of tears, really, he does, but once the dam is opened, there’s no going back. He falls into Mountain’s arms and starts crying in earnest, sobbing when his leg moves the wrong way and he feels his cuts all over again. “I’m sorry,” he sobs. “I’m really fucking sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no. You don’t have to apologise, love. This isn’t something you need to apologise for.” Dew barely hears him; just keeps forcing apologies from his lips as he cries into Mountain’s shoulder. “I’m going to go tell Rain that you’re having your break now, okay? Will you be fine here on your own? I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Dew sniffles and nods up at Mountain through the tears. “Yeah, I’ll– I’ll be fine,” he says through a watery smile.

Mountain leans down and presses a kiss to Dew’s forehead. “I’ll be back in a minute.” The door jingles on his way out, and through the window Dew can see Mountain locking it, in case anyone were to come in looking for flowers and find no one but a crying employee from the cafe next door.

True to his word, Mountain returns in about three minutes, a hot chocolate clutched in his hand. He hands it to Dew, who accepts it—with shaky hands and a whispered “thanks”—gratefully. He takes a sip and lets the warmth seep into his body, focussing on the way it blooms out from his throat and stomach into his limbs and chest. It’s a strangely calming feeling, which is probably why Mountain brought it for him, he supposes.

He lets Mountain pull him up and waits as his partner rearranges the chair’s positioning until it’s in a more convenient spot for him to still get work done. “I told Rain your hip got worse,” Mountain explains as he helps Dew back into the chair, careful to ensure his leg doesn’t twist awkwardly and makes the cuts worse. “They said you can be on break for as long as you need to, okay? They’ll cover for you.”

The warmth that spreads through Dew’s chest isn’t the hot chocolate’s doing. Rain is too good to him. Dew makes a mental note to cover every shift they need covering for until the end of time as a thanks. “Can I–“ Dew starts, tentatively. “Can I stay here? Just– Just for a bit, then I’ll get out of your hair,” he laughs; it’s not a happy sound.

“‘Course, love. That’s why I moved the chair. Stay for as long as you need to, yeah?”

Dew nods and takes another sip of his drink. “Yeah,” he says, softly.

“Now,” Mountain crouches down in front of him again, “I don’t have any customers in the shop right now, and I’m guessing you didn’t have enough time to take care of your cuts before work, right?”

“I was going to,” Dew protests, weakly. “But, I–”

“I’m not mad at you, sundew,” Mountain reassures him. “I’m just taking care of you.” Oh. Dew didn’t even think of that. “Right. I’m going to go find a clean cloth, and then we’ll get you all cleaned up. How does that sound?”

“Good, yeah.” Dew nods, moving to set his drink down in preparation of cleaning himself up.

“No, no,” Mountain says, pushing the drink back into Dew’s hands gently. “I’m gonna do the cleaning, if you’ll let me?”

Dew nods slowly, pulling the cup closer to himself. “You– You can do it. If you– If you want.”

“Good,” Mountain smiles. “Now, relax,” he orders, playfully. “Let me take care of you for a bit, sundew.”

[gibbywibbington]

Besides being unwillingly distracted from you by the same relentless stalkers & the sober house madness (ppl attempting suicide, etc) ….

I continue to wonder what’s the reason behind the red dragon skull/head helmet (on u) “shooting” & killing the red cyborg thingy during that lil performance on stage. I mean, I get the killing of a nasty beings et cetera… However, the helmet was red. It looked like a red dragon killing the red wired cyborg on the left. Them both being red. Twas n still am curious about that. Then later, the white helmet was worn. Curious about the significance of that. I have my guesses.. but you know me, I need to be sure. It’s just me needing to be sure, im not the masses, so it’s okay to hinty sumpfin to maeee. Thatd be great. I’m not the red dragon, as we know. The other cyborg on the other side look like it got corrupted w some of the red cyborgs madness. Apparently that was aight. I kind of agree. It’s kinda needed aint it. Both sides hafta be united. Craziness is needed, to an extent. Anyhuu…. The planet cgi thingy (good va bad) i had a similar thing going on in my head while listening to a random song tht made me think of that senario, like 9mnths ago. Even before you did that. So that was fkn cool seeing that..but ill explain that bit later in another message how about what I was picturing in my head for that. I think you’re going to enjoy it. Are we the same person? This is getting weird.

So..crazy (seriously needed) life update from mae to yeww: 

 So I still have those stalkers, stalking me, they stalked me the entire nine months I was at the sober house. Stalking me for over a year and a half. This is an every day thing. Not a day off they give me. They’re that demented and obsessed. No, I’m not schizophrenic. I honestly wish I was at this time. Because what they’ve been doing is far too extensive for comfort. One of them HAS to be very tech savvy because the sum of the shit that they do to me every day. I don’t even know how it’s possible to be doing the shit they are doing, without getting caught.  Either one to bother the hell out of me because I called the cops on them for threatening me with a gun but I mean come on obviously I’m gonna call the cops on em for threatening me with a gun

they fucking suck donkey dick for doing that and I’m not scared of anybody. I think they hate me because I’m not scared . My crazy ass isn’t even scared to die and they don’t understand that, and I don’t understand them for not understanding that, but yet here they are trying to scare me every day still after a year and a half, so I just laugh at them . Like psychotic laughter that I have never heard come outta myself in my life.

But I like that. It’s good. The only good thing about it.

 This stalker group of guys/gals barely even sleep. Dood, it’s fkn weird. At some point I thought they were on crack or something and I started calling them crackheads because I don’t know what the fuck is going on w that lol, like they never sleep…it’s weird. I don’t know if they want me to join their Orgy or something, they kept calling me the fourth. I have no idea what that means, still. But I feel like there’s not enough girls for the guys so maybe that’s what that means. No idea. One of the guys there has a SERIOUS, rare, physically sexual problem where he legit cannot stop having sex. It’s fucking weird and they send me recordings through the day of this guy having serious problems. It gets to a point ..when he comes, it literally sounds like he’s about to die because he can’t do it anymore, however he can’t stop. I told these people that they need to get him therapy instead of encouraging this behaviour, because seriously he’s probably going to die. I am smiling while speak typing this, cuz it weird but uhh it really isn’t funny. If he’s on Viagra or something he needs to fucking seriously stop that shit. Also, I am not going to help his problem in any shape or form. So if that’s one of the reasons why they’re stalking me, they need to REALLY give up. Maybe they “chose” me to complete their disgustingly bizarre non stop orgy. Which they oddly want me to hear the noises of, and sending that to me by different means. Like…WHAAAT?! I wonder what kind of meds or drugs they are on to stay up for as long as they do. By the way these people are pretty young from early twenties to late 20s and I’m just like I’m old, leave me alone but they don’t. The person who lived across from them told me some stuff about their ages, etc. cuz she’s a snoop.

This is ONGOING. As in like, it nvr stops. Daily, it’s always something. Something is possessing them to not give up or even LETup for a single day. I am so surprised I have not yet had a fucking psychotic breakdown . I must be 100 times more mentally strong than I had any self awareness of. I hate it. I didn’t need to find out.

They ALL or ONE of them, is THAT obsessed with me that they cant let go. I just don’t get it. I have no idea why any person on this planet would want to stalk my crazy, highly dishevelled ass. I’ve asked for a reason why, I have asked what the endgame is….nada. They don’t tell me anything worth listening to. They’re nuts and saying things like “you want the gloops?” probably repeating it a thou times. I don’t know why they want me to have their “gloops“ which means a load of cum. Not sure.. it’s been extensive I have my guesses, but dunno for sure.



I dunno how I’ve hidden this for this long .Almost ten months DEAD SOBER (kill me) after being stalked for nearly a full yr BEFO me being dead sober, continuing this shit during EVERY php class. To f w me. It lasted for five months (php itself).

Add in the Chris (my dearly departed CWISTOPPAH) unnecessary dying next to me memories, n shit. No good. I was the last person to c him besides the cop that put him in his cell. After life turned upside down, losing gibby, etc etc, STILL dealin w their shit on a daily basis, that I had to hide from everyone. Unfortunately for me these people are a very tech savvy and some of the shit they do to follow me is absolutely ridiculous. I didn’t even think some or any of this shit is technologically/scientifically possible. Apparently it is and I’m not very happy for finding that out. I could’ve gone throughout my entire life VERY happily not nowing any of this was possible.

IF they weren’t such fucking ass wipes, I might…no, I definitely would’ve been impressed. But they decided to piss me off instead. Another mistake they made. Srsly you/anyone (if any single person actually knew what I’ve been dealing w here tech wise) yall would tell me to go into acting because of how good i have hidden this shit. So crazy extensive this tech based stalking has been. Does Elon have some like alien encryption style thangy thangs I could aquire? Cuz uhh, they are QUITE on my ass, unrelenting.

Yup, these are the same people that were stomping on my ceiling almost a year ago (to get my attention?) .. they have yet to tell me the reason for the stomping. It’s been a year and a half and they still won’t tell me why they were stomping. Actually, they don’t tell me anything that I ask them. They threatened to shoot me in the head with a gun, even though I think it might be a joke because they’re obsessed with me?. They are also obsessed with trying to scare me because I don’t get scared very easily. That oddly bothers them. I just get angry and enraged and they don’t understand . They are in their 20s so of course they’re not going to understand a hell of a lot of shit, period. Bahaa

But then I had to do some brain digging and realised something weird. I don’t know.. Though, one of the shitty things (you would think this is good ,but it’s not) , one of the people involved is someone I told them I thought was hot. Cuz I saw this dude in a doorway and he was acting weird. Let me explain. One of the guys that were that was shouting at me disappeared and it was only the two girls at the time so when I went back to the apartment, his voice was no longer shouting at me and there was some silent dude at the door who looked as if he was there just to open the door for me. he also wasn’t looking at me and you could tell he was doing it deliberately. Which made it even more obvious, not less obvious. They thought it was going to do, I guess. He had his phone in front of him which wasn’t even on because I looked for a millisecond And his eyes were so far down that they were almost closed so like this is the weirdest millisecond of interaction with another human being I’ve ever had in my life dude had some weird ass. Like as if he knew who I was but I had no idea who the fuck he was. Which then made me think, maybe I do know this person because that was fucking weird as shit, and humans don’t act like that. so stuck in my head and then they kept giving me little weird hints here and there. Which ended up w me thinking that dude might actually be one of the kids that lived on old parish Lane back in the day, but they won’t tell me because they won’t tell me anything. So now they’re using that against me, using that reason to stay even longer to bug me even longer/more. However, I had no idea at the time when I told them, that he was/is possibly one of the stalker bunch. If im right, if it’s that lil kid that lived on my old street doing this… CRAZY. In the very beginning they kept saying oh he’s known you since he was seven or eight. I thought they were lying. But in fact, if that is the correct person then that makes perfect sense because that’s how old he was. Soo…. Uhh yea.

Kill me now(not really tho) i just want to go to fantasia n dissafukkinpear

[e-von-dahl]

Hey now no need to get nasty. I actually don’t think Oli Sykes is sooooooooo unique and special at all, when did I say that? For what it’s worth I’m not really a BMTH fan- I know a few songs popular on TikTok but that’s it.

They’re obviously doing really well for themselves as a band and are very popular at the moment. Samy posts listening to them on Spotify and he’s mentioned in interviews that he likes them. Also I’m not saying he’s the only man to ever wear a white tank but if you google cult leader vest the first image is literally a photo of Oli Sykes. If I immediately though this seeing the shirt, not being a fan of BMTH, there’s no way that Samy who is a fan, wouldn’t have seen the similarity? When Samy posted the photo of the haircut loads of the insta comments are also saying he looks like Oli, in a good way, but it’s crazy you’re making me out to be some fucking Oli Sykes super fan and the only person who thinks this?

Thought tumblr was where people can chat about their fave band without getting shat on about it bloody hell

Dude, no one is saying their aren’t similarities, I’m saying those similarities aren’t unique to either of them so the claim that Samy is “morphing into” him (your words) is ridiculous. Saying he has similar haircut is totally different from claiming he’s copying his whole style directly from Oli.

You’re literally the one shitting on Samy for how he dresses, accusing him of trying to be someone else. Saying “no hate” doesn’t magically change the fact you’re being a dick.

The reason you sound like a BMTH superfan is because you only seem to see the similarities to Oli and not the hundreds of other musicians who dress in the exact same style.

I could name dozens of different musicians that Samy’s style resembles more than Oli Sykes, from the obvious like Alexi Laiho to the more subtle influences like Damiano David. Yeah, Oli probably inspires him too, but to claim he’s trying to be him is bullshit.

[moonedman]

All other sagas done in previous or future posts

Underworld Saga

this is probably my favorite saga. and also probably one of the most important, fundamentally. i think i filled five notebook pages on these three songs.

The Underworld

“I no longer dream” what my friend was once saying about how the screams he hears are real since he’s no heard them and knows what they sound like

“Past seems close behind” it’s catching up to him

Ough his crew asking “when does a man become a monster”

Ok so whatever the spirits are saying is the last thing they thought, meaning Odysseus’ crew considered him a monster, Polites is still upbeat and bright, his mom will wait for him

“Nothing is as it seems” possible that he’s just hallucinating this OR he doesn’t want to believe any of it.

I’m insane about Mr. Jorge Rivera-Herrans’ voice acting

Reminder! Greet the world with open arms! Don’t turn evil!

I know he’s not evil

HIS MOM

The realization finally hitting him that he’s been gone twelve years he’s lost and missed out on so much and he needs to get home

I’m going to blow up

Just. like. The beginning of realization

I’m going to blow up!!!!!!!!

No Longer You

“There is a world where I help you get home, but that’s not a world I know” opening us up to that no longer you idea

“Past romance” past is really interesting because he’s still married but it connects to the no longer you part

“Sacrifice of man” Previous sacrifices and also warning of future sacrifice

“Portrayal of betrayal” Scylla and Thunder bringer, but also in mutiny. Also when the wind bag was opened.

“Brother’s final stand” Eurylochus in mutiny, maybe Polites in Survive

“On the brink of death” well yes

“Man who gets to make it home alive/but it’s no longer you” he’s changed and lost so much that there’s like no way he’ll ever be the same king and husband and father. Also in the odyssey story Odysseus has to disguise himself as an old man so he can win back his wife

He also kills all the suitors i hope we get to see that

Denial is a river in Egypt your men are doomed

“Palace covered in red” please please please be the suitors dying but also those suitors are violent in general (I am so grateful my prayers were answered)

“I see a wife with a man who is haunting/a man with a trail of bodies” “WHO”

a) he’s haunting her. His leaving haunts her because of the men in her house, telemachus and his whole “no dad” thing, and just not having your husband around. His absence affects her just as greatly as it does him

b) odysseus doesn’t realize it’s him. He’s got the trail of bodies. He’s so absorbed by the thought of penelope.

“Past romance” [again] oooohhh their marriage is fucked. It’s so different now

Backing vocals of future things [“Siren’s call, Scylla’s throat, mutiny, lightning bolt, Poseidon, kill the suitors for love”]

That’s so cool I’m INSANE

I hate him

Monster

“How has everything been turned against us” …hmm. I wonder.

“Do I need to change” YOU ALREADY HAVE but now he’s considering doing it on purpose

You’re in the underworld of course the souls are around you

“I’m the only one whose line I haven’t crossed” and you’ll keep crossing them!

“What if the greatest threat we’ll find across the sea/Is me” BLOW UP [he’s like rethinking but also plotting? Like what if he was the biggest danger?]

Remember remember

“Too kind to foes but a monster to ourselves” he’s realizing he’s realizing he’s self aware he’s going to treat his men unfairly

All the foes he’s encountered are all doing what they can to protect those they love and odysseus is starting to see the similarities between them [and also the ones he wants to protect gets fewer until it’s just him almost [because he needs to see his wife and son so he needs to live]]

Plotting to keep his men safer by being more cruel

Anything for them

He’s willing to lose all morals in order to get home and keep as many people alive as possible but accidentally loses those base morals in the process of doing so

The animation i watched in the playlist i found showed a hallucination of Penelope taking the headband Odysseus took from Polites and that’s such a cool detail [throwing away the morals of being kind and keeping an open mind all for his wife]

I based my current DnD character off this song.

I’m so insane about the Ithaca saga do you tumblr people want to hear my full analysis of each song to celebrate