#but also she doesnt need to be perfect shes beautiful the way she is <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[yansurnummu]

having a "holy shit I did that" moment about the new tile in our kitchen

[dolliestfairy]

Dolliest 🎀

Vincent Sinclair, Jason Voorhees, Asa emory, & Patrick bateman with Chubby!fem!reader who dressed like a Doll! ʚ ₊˚ ��✿

Author Note ✿ : hello lovlies, sorry i have been on a break for like 3/4 days because i just like um.. really need some break and also i had a lot activities going on, but i still try to write something for you all, so please sit down and enjoy :). if you like my writings please give me reblogs and feedbacks. tysm! also we almost got 140 followers atp, Tysm for your support lovlies!!

Trigger Warning ✿ : insecurities, fluff, some murder stuff idk, blood & insect mentioned, and some comfort also :), and maybe some misspelled word. overall enjoy! Reader skin color is NOT announced.

Dividers from @v6que ꒰ঌ ໒꒱. Gifs are not mine.

✿ Vincent sinclair

- you're an Art, thats what Vincent think the first time he saw you.

- and oh my god... he freaking loves it watching you dressing yourself!!

- believe me, he would never let anyone take down your confidence, if the one who take down your confidence is his brother (take example : Bo Sinclair) he wouldnt be scared to defend you like it his life-priority.

- but if the one who takes down your confidence is his next victim?? they are dead. even if the victim was important bla bla bla, he doesnt give a fck. how dare they talk down to his beloved partner?? such a unforgivable act.

- Love, i mean﹍LOOVEE drawing you. you're gonna see THOUSANDS paper with a drawing that look Exactly like you, EVERYWHERE. he even had his own fav drawing that he's dedicated to you.

- he, drawing you, and protecting you from anyone who mocks you including his brother, is a way of how he show himself that he is truly in love with you.

- if you're feeling insecure? better be ready to be suffocate from his affection.

✿ Jason Voorhees

- Man is silently drooling behind his mask.

- kinda like a Mommy kink....

- love the way you dress yourself with those soft pink dress and accesories, those glam nails and hairs and those soft makeup... perfect.

- but theres a time where he felt himself is not appropriate for you.

- we know this man is a insecure boy, but if you manage to cheer him up with your own way, istg your life is going to be put into this big mans life-priority.

- like.. he'll do everything to keep you happy.

- sometimes he even steal accessories or clothes or even make up that he found from his victim, where he collect them all and give them all for you.

- you might feeling kinda nasty seeing those gift is still covered in blood and with like a rotting-corpse smell... but if you accept it brightly he's gonna die on that place & in that moment.

- really love you. if you're insecure, he's going to slit somebodys throat for making you that way, but if you're feeling insecure because your own self? well then, he's going to go to hunt some victim, to get some MORE AND MORE stuff that you may like, well i mean.. thats just how he shows his love for you. his chubby doll 🎀

✿ Asa emory

- didnt know how to feel....

- but he does somehow, loves the opposite vibes you both gave. like he's the bad murderer boy who likes insect and some nasty nasty stuff, life in a nasty place and then theres you! who brighten up the nasty place he live in, always dress like a doll, pink pink, Vanilla perfume n stuff..

- just perfect and balance combination.

- when his victim saw who he is and when they saw YOU who is behind him they're gonna find themself asking "y-you.. you-you didnt get k-killed?..." and only to get the answer of him "she's my Princess."

- BUT... thats on a rare occassion. sometimes he just called you "my partner" or something. but if he's feeling in a good & cocky mood then he's going to call you his princess.

- and just like jason, he likes to give you a beautiful beautiful stuff who is always & almost covered in blood.

- if he's sees you wearing the stuff he gave you he can feel his cold heart melting.

- jk.. he doesnt feel his cold heart melting, because you already melt him in the first place. he just can feel his cold & thick heart is being burned by your affection.

- and when i'm telling you this.. he's enjoying, every, single, one of it.

✿ Patrick bateman

- oh my god..

- he's a real cocky man. but let me tell you something..

- HE SPOILS YOU SOO MUCH LIKE OH MY GOD.

- like i'm not even joking. he spoils you... really really spoils you to the bone, to your soul like you feel like you're suffocating.

- because he's still a patrick bateman, he loves to suffocate everyone, you're no expectation. the only differences is that he suffocate other people with death.

- but with you?... oh he's going to suffocate you with.. LOVE, LOVE & LOVE!

- in which he doesnt even believe any of that.

- but he does, believe it with you.

- patrick is a aware man. he knew himself real well, so when he found himself on a one knee for you, he found himself surprised and well um.. unbelieveably.

- never in his wildest life he would ended up with someone like you.

- at first he tried to denied, but as times goes by, he cant help, but felt his cold and tough soul was slowly melting over your words and touch.

- you're so.. so.. precious. soft, and round.. need to be protected and loved.

- it has been Too long for patrick bateman since he have been feeling this type of.. feelings.

- but you manage to somehow make him feel it again! and he wont waste it!

- the way he suffocate you, choking you with his affection and love is just how he shows himself how madly he is in love with you..! please dont waste it darling, please dont..

- let your soft appereance burn his cold soul as he would burn this world for you.

[potato-lord-but-not]

once again being annoying in ur ask box bc i have more things to say <3

EVERY TIME I WAKE UP TO YOUR ART I SCREAM AND GIGGLE AND ROLL AROUND IN BED LIKE A SPARROW IN DUST. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. SEEING UR DRAWINGS GIVES ME THE MOST INSANE EUPHORIA, THAT'S LITERALLY ALL I WANT MY ART TO LOOK LIKE EVEN THOUGH MY STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND I SUCK AT CARTOONISH STUFF I WOULD LITERALLY KILL TO BE ABLE TO DRAW LIKE YOU. I SHOW MY IRLS YOUR ART ON A DAILY BASIS. EVERY TIME YOU INTERACT WIT MY POSTS OR ANSWER MY ASKS I EXPLODE INTO A CLOUD OF GLITTER. YOUR DOODLES ARE SO SILLY AND I SWEAR IT DOESN'T MATTER WHEN I SEE YOUR POSTS THEY ALWAYS INJECT ME WITH SHEER PRIMAL RABID JOY <3333 I SAW ONE THE OTHER DAY AFTER A 5.6 MILE CROSS COUNTRY PRACTICE WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF BUT HTEN I SAW SILLY HUMAN JOHN AND OSCAR AND IT WAS CURED AND I WAS INSTANTLY REJUVENATED!!!! okay enough all caps my pinky hurts from holding the shift key down. i'm on my hands and knees begging my mother to let me buy better alcohol markers because mine are coughing and wheezing a collective death rattle and they are simply NOT SUFFICIENT to try to attempt ur coloring style. ALSO. our human johns are like literally twins??? giggling kicking my feet the way you draw him is so lovely and precious and gorgeous and stunning and marvelous and perfect and adorable and beautiful 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 he looks so squishable i think he would give the most marvelous back cracking soul healing hugs ever. AND OH MY GOD. MIGHT BE GIVING MYSELF AWAY BUT WHATEVER. YOUR BUTCHER DESIGN RGAHFHSLJDLJ I HAVE NOT BEEN NORMAL ABOUT HIM EVER AND I YAPPED ABOUT HIM TO MY LESBIAN FREIND (SHOWING THEM YOUR ART OF HIM) AND SHE DOESNT GET ITTTTTT HES SO AMAZING I NEED HIM TO TIE ME TO A CHAIR AND RIP MY FINGERNAILS OF(the pipe bomb under my chair goes off)

ahem. anyways. that concludes today's insanity. my sincerest apologies, it will happen again <33333 i think ur art is gonna get me through this school year

asks that heal your ailments and cleanse your soul— I need to tag this as something niche so I can find it again when I’m feeling down and need some encouragement from izel I mean from this random anon <3

[akiraarabella]

CAN WE ALSO PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE?!?!?!

IT WAS NOT A KISS SCENE BUT IT WAS AS POWERFUL AS ONE!!!

Their THE KISS scene on season 3 episode 5 (yes i remember exactly dont ask why) it was REALLY powerful because it literally showed us the development between the two characters from them trying to kill one another (mostly Rayla) to saving each other and Callum expressing it such a beautiful way by his speech with "Because she's Rayla" Playing in the background was just TO DIE FOR!!!! it was emotional, romantic, strong! It was everything! It wasnt forced it was just there in the perfect time. I can never stop praising the shows writers enough istg. Even rn im listening to that ost in the background.

I cant lie bc it was adorable seeing these two being all lovey dovey with each other by kissing and hugging etc. But when season 4 begins, their relationship is just not there anymore. Yes there are bits and pieces but they're scattered everywhere. Callum reminiscing about her and their time together gives us half of the answer. Something happened that pulled them apart but what is it?

When he was looking out in the balcony to the sky, their theme was also playing at the background but so soft and so weak that you felt Callums' pain. It was a sad track, it was a tragic track. Raylas' memories were still there but not herself. And it made him so sad that the dude said it was NOT his BIRTHDAY but the ANNIVERSARY OF RAYLAS' LEAVING!!!! THIS BOY CARES ABOUT RAYLA MORE THAN HE CARES ABOUT HIMSELF!!!

From then on the relationship starts to have a second build up. Its like strangers to friends to lovers to strangers to ??? . The only difference of this build up compared to first three seasons is that there is already an established relationship, its just broken. So in a way they start again. Going on adventures, being there for each other in case either of them needs help. Callum doesnt let his feelings for her suppress his hurt which was also caused by her but little by little it starts to heal. It starts to fix.

Here we see Rayla admit to her mistake of going after revenge and leaving the most important thing she has behind (aka Callum obv) . Her admitting this out loud is so great to hear. Because she know she made a mistake and that mistake hurt Callum and she intends to FIX that mistake. She gives him the space he needs while also staying close enough in case he would need her. Just like Soren said "sometimes you need time to work through the weird, and then it'll work out or dont. The heart do what it do or dont what it dont"

And thats exactly what happens! With time the awkwardness becomes less and less and their hearts do the job. Their feelings for each other were never gone in the first place, and when they both finally realise that it just keeps getting better. In the form of saving friends (Zym and Soren) they remember how it felt working together which helps them get closer.

But even tho they act close their words are still apart. They dont admit it. They dont talk about it. They just go along with it. But then Rayla gets caught sneaking Runaans' bow. When Callum orders them to release her even without knowing the reason why, Rayla picks up what he's putting down. He trusts her, he doesnt push her to explain him anything because he knows that she will when she is ready. She sees that there is still a chance to make things just like before maybe even better.

(Also in this scene when they're going to the grand bookery and they cross this path, she says "its an old wound that's healing" I cant help but feel like its a parallel to their relationship. The wound of leaving for two years but now finally working through it. Its just perfect)

So yep after everything she admits it, which is also perfect because she was the one that made a mistake so she does fix it and she does it right.

"Im glad we could be here together, looking at the stars..." She says.

And Callum feeling the same way rests his head on hers. ITS JUST PERFECT AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! THE WAY THAT THEY STILL KEEP TALKING ABOUT STARS AND THIS WHOLE SCENE HAVING AS MUCH POWER AS THEIR KISS SCENE AND DARE I SAY EVEN MORE (i dont know which wins bc i was jumping around screaming when they kissed after Callums' poetic speech LOL it was ROMANTIC ALRIGHT?! 😭😭😭😭 SAME GOES FOR THIS ONE)

And the thing is that it'ss so easy to mess up. They could've gone for a route like "hey im back after two years of absence" "Oh hi its great to see you again" And its not just the characters and their relationships but also the world that you're telling to the audience. It is so easy to get it wrong ESPECIALLY if you are writing Fantasy. With so many kingdoms, dragons, elves and other species with also magic its very very simple to mess up. Im glad that they went this way with the story telling. Its more natural, more enjoyable and it just works perfectly.

ANYWAY IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR WAY TOO LONG BUT IF YOU MANAGED TO FINISH READING IT TILL THE END OMG YOU'RE A FUCKING ROCKSTAR IDK I LOVE YOU THANK YOU!!! 😫😫😫💕💕💕💕

[bruhnze]

After the game baby - part 4

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Summary: Lucy Bronze and Ona batlle are in love. They are having a great time but then Lucy doesnt think Ona is competetive enough and thinks of a way to fix that. Smut

After the game baby - part 4 (18+)

(Pls read part 1,2 and 3 before this)

Lucy smiled "are you in a rush?"

"You talk to much" Ona said while helping Lucy undress furter.

Lucy lifted Ona up and laid her on the bed, "if you don't like me talking i will put my mouth to work in other ways, how does that sound hm?"

"Mhm, yes" Ona nodded eagerly.

But Lucy was still her teasing self, so she didn't go immidiatly for what Ona wanted. She started kissing Ona in her neck, on her ears, then travelled to her chest and purposefully avoided Ona's nippels.

She then went lower and kissed Onas legs, "these amazing leggs, so skillfull, capable of scoring" she said in between kisses.

"Luce" Ona moaned plaintively.

Now Lucy felt like she had teased her girlfriend enough, she kissed Ona once more on her lips and then she took a boob in her mouth. Her tongue playing with the nipple, Ona groaned.

Lucy used her hands to part Ona's legs a bit more so she could get inbetween them.

When she went for ona's other breast her thigh pushed against Ona's centre.

Ona's hips rocked forward a bit and Lucy could feel the wetness spreading on her leg. "God, baby, you are so wet"

"Mhm, im so wet for you, fuck me Luce"

Lucy almost fell apart from those words, maybe they should have this dynamic more often, she thought.

Lucy kissed Ona's chest once more and then stood up, "do you want me to use a toy so i can fuck you really good?"

"Yeah" ona said, her voice cracking from anticipation.

Lucy quickly put on a harness and chose Ona's favourite dildo and attached it.

Ona had grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer and handed it to Lucy who climbed back onto the bed.

Lucy put some on her hand a dropped the bottle on the floor, whilst rubbing the dick she looked ona who had spread her legs infront of her. "God, we didn't need the lube Ona, youre so wet"

Ona grabbed the back of Lucys thighs and pulled her closer.

Lucy leaned in to kiss Ona, the dildo now rubbing against the inside of Ona's thigh.

With her hand she guided it to Ona's entrance and looked at onas face, it was a face of want and lust, but Lucy also saw annoyance, she was taking too long for Ona's liking.

So she pushed in, and slowely started to fuck Ona. Ona's face looked beautiful to Lucy like this, it was really hot seeing her like this.

She reached her hand down and started stimulating Ona's clit whilst upping her ritm.

Ona closed her eyes and put her head down on the pillow. She felt so good, Lucy was really good in bed and knew exactly how she needed to be fucked. Just like now, this pace combined with the stimulating could get her off in a few minutes.

Lucy got lost in the feeling of how the base of the strap was rubbing against her just right and how the sight of onas face was just perfect. She closed her eyes aswell.

She hadnt noticed her mouth being open, Ona suddenly opened her eyes, as a bit of drool from Lucys mouth had dripped on her abdomen.

She smiled "Luce, ah it feels so good Luce"

Lucy moaned and upped her tempo, she stimulated Ona a bit more and felt Ona was close. She opened her eyes and saw Ona looking at her "im so close Luce"

"Me to Ona, just a little more" she grabbed Ona's thighs a bit firmer and with a few more thrusts her and Ona were both pushed over the edge.

They looked into eachothers eyes as they came, they both moaned, Lucy moaned deep and low, while Ona called out Lucy's name.

Lucy rode them trough their highs by making a few more slow thrusts and placed her head in Ona's neck. "You're amazing Ona, youre so hot and so talented"

Ona chuckled.

Lucy pulled out and got the harness off, then she got in to bed and held Ona. "What are laughing about, its true, you are amazing, i love you"

Ona laughed "im not laughing about that, however that is really sweet baby" and gave Lucy a kiss "im laughing at you Luce, you where fucking me really good, i love you too" she chuckeld again.

Lucy pushed herself up on her elbows, "what are you laughing about then" she smilingly said. "Come on, let me join your fun"

She tickled Ona, "speak up"

"Okay, ahaha" "okaaaaayyyy" ona cried out, she couldn't handle being tickled at all.

"When you where fucking me and you had your eyes closed, you drooled on me a bit" Ona laughed out.

Lucy got red and hid her face in Onas neck, "what do you mean" "omg, this is so embarrassing"

Ona stroked Lucys hair, "nah, it was cute baby" "i love that i have that effect on you"

"Urgh" lucy cried out to Ona's neck and then turned to face Ona "see, if this is what happens when i reward you, i think i need to take control again."

Ona flicked her lashes, "oh yeah, what would you make me do then"

[mythalism]

ok im going to try and parse through my feelings on the entire game in the hopes that expelling these thoughts from my brain will allow me to actually sleep because i am running on about 3 hours right now

i will start positive with the things i absolutely loved:

solas. whos suprised

just kidding i will elaborate further of course. genuinely, from a (mostly) objective writing perspective, he is the best part of this game. like hands down. his writing is bonkers insane. he has the best lines and the most complexity out of any character in the game (besides mythal perhaps). i was so so so afraid they were going to completely woobify him into someone who was right all along and never did anything wrong in his life blah blah to make him sympathetic to a new audience. they did not give a fuck however and i could not be more glad. he is exactly the dread wolf and bringer of nightmares of legend. he is so wonderfully in character, even if that character is not someone we saw in inquisition (we saw solas, not the dread wolf!). there are moments that solas shines through, like in his mentions of varric in the very beginning, when he mentions his love for the inquisitor, his convo with a rook he respects (which i do believe was genuine, even if he betrays them anyway. we know that he regularly betrays people that he likes and respects lol), the way he helps the shadow dragons and saves the dalish, and of course in his final scene with the inquisitor. he manages to retain that perfect back and forth, mask on and mask off, solas vs. fen'harel dichotomy with a different balance than the one we saw in inquisition. in inquisition, we saw solas with hints of the dread wolf peeking through. in veilguard, we see the dread wolf with hints of solas peeking through. ok i need to move on or i will talk about him forever. but they nailed the moral ambiguity with him. they nailed the theme of forgiveness being hard. i loved when harding said something along the lines of "there is no one who doesnt deserve forgiveness" this is one of the few consistent themes that this game was successful in exploring. ok ok moving on now i promise

i also loved mythal (fragment mythal, not morrigan mythal who was a flop). admittedly i am a mythal stan, but her integration into this story was a highlight for me. she haunted the narrative in such a great way. it added so much complexity to solas. hearing him GROWL at elgar'nan in rage "you have lost the right to say her name" made me scream in glee. i loved talking to her and having to prove my worth to her. i love that it was hard and she would kill you without hesitation if she found you unworthy. i love that if she does find you worthy she is instrumental in changing solas's mind. i loved her dragon appearance even if she was useless in the damn fight lol. morrigan mythal sucked tho but thats for later

similar vein but the main quests were fantastic, with a few caveats. but overall every main quest had me hooked, having so much fun, at the edge of my seat and screaming and flailing in my chair. weisshaupt was incredible, BLOOD OF ARLATHAN WAS INSANE (the solas elgarnan bitch fight will go down in history as a moment of all time for me) and of course the finale was some of the best writing ive seen from bioware. the way suspense was built was well done, the stakes felt high, and the twists were interesting.

choice and consequence was absolutely banger. i gasped when i went back to dock town after leaving minrathous to fend for itself and saw a gallows with bodies hanging from nooses and piles of bodies in the streets. i gasped when harding died. i gasped when bellara got blighted. definitely the best choice and consequence in the entire franchise and it was very satisfying. i feel motivated to play again to see different options play out.

the environments are fucking insane. genuinely insane giga brained genius. i have never been so gagged by a video game like this. not only were they beautiful but they were well-designed, interesting and diverse. i rarely got bored anywhere (except treviso lol) and i was regularly picking my jaw up off the floor. some highlights for me were the anderfels area where you first meet davrin with that amazing vista, kal sharok, the docktown catacombs, pretty much anything in arlathan, the deep roads, and honestly so much. absolutely beautiful.

this game felt incredibly cinematic and the direction was fantastic. the cutscenes were so well done and they transitioned so smoothly into gameplay. the animation was fantastic, and everything was so engaging to watch. my favorite cutscene has to be when solas is about to switch places with rook and you see him in the background out of the corner of your eye twice, though rook doesnt know. i was literally screaming it was so fucking cool. it genuinely felt like watching a movie a lot of the time

i genuinely enjoyed the gameplay loop of exploration. i had a lot of fun just exploring around docktown and arlathan, there was always something new to find, i loved the puzzles, and i loved finding codex entries. this is a crazy thing to say but it actually reminded me a lot of genshin impact LMFAO. which i know a lot of people would probably consider to be a negative but i thought it was engaging and fun.

combat fucks. it got a little repetitive by the end, mostly because i think i just wanted to find out the end of the story and fucking darkspawn were in my way, but it was a huge step up from previous games and i think action combat was a good choice.

this game has an incredible amount of genuine heart and soul put into it and you can feel it in every facet of the game. i can tell that the devs were passionate and their creativity was genuine. i could feel their love for the characters and the world. this game is unflinchingly sincere and not afraid of being cringe (though it definitely is cringe at times, i respect the commitment to it so i dont mind it). it genuinely does not feel like an EA cash grab, which is a huge win considering how likely it was for years that a cash grab was exactly what we were going to get.

i enjoyed the varric ghost twist. i knew something was up with him but i didnt fully call him being dead until right before the reveal. i get why people are going to be upset about it, its a pretty fucking crazy decision, but i think what saves it is the quote he gives rook in the fade about his choices being his own and still encouraging rook to try to get through to solas despite being KILLED BY HIM.... fucking crazy. it ties in enough to the overall theme of regret and forgiveness that i think it works.

ok time for the negatives

its hard to pick my biggest issue but i definitely have a top 3: the lore flopped majorly, much of the writing felt juvenile, and there was an overall lack of nuance to everything about the game except for solas's storyline that did feel very not-dragon age to me

i actually dont give a fuck about lore retcons, especially if they are explained well. i think they are often necessary and can be pulled off. but this game literally just pretended to answer decades long questions about the lore and then does not. which would be fine if we didnt have someone who knows all the answers to those questions hanging out in our brains and willing to answer them. we did not learn what exactly a titan was. we did not learn what they were like when they were alive and before they were blighted. mythal called them monsters. harding suggests they might have been violent like the elves. we literally dont know anything about them except for what solas and mythal did to them. i dont think anyone even actually gave a clear answer on what the blight is. ok it was the titan's severed dreams but what the fuck does that mean? it was their rage and pain? then why does harding say the red lyrium manifested by her rage and pain was not blighted, just red? if blight equals titan nightmares then that lyrium should have been blighted? so what the fuck is the blight that ghilan'nain cooked with? red lyrium? how did the original darkspawn get made? did she start injecting people with red lyrium? but we know what that does to people because we saw it in inquisition. it makes them red lyrium freaks but it doesnt make them darskpawn. WHAT ARE DARKSPAWN? WHAT IS THE BLIGHT? did i miss this in a codex entry or something guys im so serious. how did we play this whole game and not actually learn what the blight is. we also learned almost nothing about the forgotten ones, which is fine except we literally met one and all they really had to say about it was "evil spirit" ? ok. also um. where are the rest of the evanuris. ok they are gone but where did they go. we know where their archdemons went, but where did they go? ghilan'nain exists separate from her archdemon so its not like killing an archdemon kills the evanuris, it just makes them vulnerable. should they not all be still alive in that prison together, just mortal and archdemon-less? they literally just say "they're gone" and expect us to be like ok! WHAT THE FUCK??? WHERE ARE THEY?? WHERE ARE THEIR BODIES??? WHAT??????? also the explanation for archdemons was boring. it felt like the team literally did not know the answers themselves (and didnt feel like calling up david gaider) so they just gave us vague non-answers hoping we wouldnt notice. I NOTICED.

similar vein; we learned nearly nothing about elgar'nan and ghilan'nain, and they overall felt cartoonishly evil and one-dimensional. and this is a greater problem that ill talk about next, but they were afforded none of the nuance that solas and mythal were given, and it feels glaring in comparison. why was elgarn'nan evil? was he just born fucking evil? we know thats not true. he originated as a spirit, what kind of spirit? what was his relationship with mythal like? what was his relationship to the other evanuris like? he calls ghilan'nain "sister", were they always close? did they become close in their prison? what are his goals beyond tyranny? or do you actually want me to believe he is just full stop evil? if he was one of the original spirit born elvhen what virtue did he embody and what polluted him into something so terrible? why does ghilan'nain love the blight? why is she obsessed with creation? we only get a single codex about she and andruil (that i found). what was her and solas's relationship like before she ascended to godhood? he calls her "the best of them" but we never see anything about their relationship. neither of them has any nuance. they are just pure evil, corrupted by ???? something ??? power??? i guess. and we are supposed to just be fine with it lol. what are even their motivations? why do they want to cover the world in blight? what is their emotional connection to this pursuit??????? we get such an exploration of this for solas and just NOTHING for them. they feel so one-dimensional in comparison, literal comic book cartoon character villains.

similarly, this game lacks nuance overall. bioware is known for its exploration of grey morality on both personal and sociopolitical levels. this game has that only for solas and literally no one else. qunari antaam? evil (super fucking racist depiction as well). venatori? evil minions. elven gods? evil. forgotten ones? evil. meanwhile, crows? suddenly good. its okay. just forget the MURDER, child slavery and abuse. seriously its fine. caterina dellamorte is a sweet old lady :) dont worry about it :). every faction is good and every antagonist is bad. its genuinely insane coming from the studio who gave us dragon age 2 to now give us something so fucking boring and black and white. they got SO CLOSE with the wardens and isseya and in the end davrin still kills her. why does solas get a chance at redemption and no one else does? here we are with an entire story centered around this morally grey character, interrogating whether or not his actions are justified, whether his intentions matter, whether his abuse informed his atrocities, asking ourselves if he deserves forgiveness asking if he deserves to be saved, where do we draw the line? what is the point of no return? why do people do the things they do? its fantastic. and then you go and do a faction or companion quest and its just like, these are the good guys and these are the bad guys. dont ask questions. have fun! WHAT???? FROM BIOWARE??????????

this issue bleeds over into the companions as well. i genuinely liked all of them. they are likable. but holy shit they have no flaws. all of them are genuinely good people and their problems center around others rather than themselves. there is little to no complexity, to the point where honestly they did not feel like real people to me. harding is sweet and perfect and her worst trait is being *checks notes* TOO AGREEABLE? davrin's worst flaw is raising his voice at his pet too much. emmrich's only flaw is FEARING DEATH LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING? neve is kind of cold. thats it. bellara never does anything wrong. lucanis doesnt sleep enough? taash is the closes they come to any sort of complexity and i did genuinely enjoy their identity struggle and i loved seeing their complex relationship with their mother. but none of those are flaws. like these characters are cookie-cutter perfect. we used to have companions who committed acts of terror and blood mages and mean jealous little brothers and did horrible things and said horrible things to each other and struggled with things like internalized racism and complacency in violent corrupt institutions and addiction and facing your fucking war crimes and they are some of the most beloved of the franchise because they feel SO REAL. like genuinely going from characters like anders and blackwall to these companions was so jarring and disappointng. i LIKE them all, dont get me wrong. but they do not act like real, complex fully fleshed out people, and the writing overall suffers greatly for it.

again connected, the writing in terms of literal dialogue but also what i mentioned above comes together to feel incredibly juvenile. i know some big reviewers beforehand said that the game feels like a pixar movie at times, and unfortunately i dont think thats inaccurate. a little harsh maybe, but there are moments that are truly written in such a way that it feels like the audience is children. and that doesnt mean its bad, because i am a lover of childrens media and most of my favorite media of all time is actually for kids (avatar the last airbender, fullmetal alchemist, etc), but this game oscillates back and forth so violently it will give you literal whiplash. it reminded me a lot of the way young adult fiction is written. GOOD young adult fiction, where its well-done, but its deliberately written to be simpler in both diction and theme and focuses on concepts that young people can identify with. this is how i felt during much of the companion quests during this game. again, it was GOOD young adult fiction, but it had the narrative styling and lack of nuance and complexity that is characteristic of such things, and that is just literally not what the game is supposed to be like. and there are great writing moments that do feel appropriately mature and complex, but they are mostly in the main quest and their presence makes the lack of maturity in the rest of the writing feel even more jarring. i have no idea why they wrote it this way.

morrigan's mythal flopped and was out of character. i missed flemeth's crazy ass. they literally nerfed her. i think this is connected to everyone being nice and good and perfect (no abusive mothers allowed!) which is crazy because the other mythal fragment got to be a crazy bitch. so what the hell

the lack of world states is still a major L. it felt like things were missing that should have been present and had no reason not to be other than just no worldstates. well of sorrows needed to be there ESPECIALLY considering the solas/mythal/lavellan dynamic.

this one is self-indulgence but solavellan could have benefited from better pacing. packing so much into act 3 made it feel rushed. i loved the scenes themselves, but there could have easily been more build-up with a few codex entries.

no fenris. i will never forgive

ok im running out of steam and actually feeling more able to sleep now (thank god). i know i said a lot of negatives but i actually believe this game is very, very good, especially within the context of its development. i think a lot of the issues likely do stem from their fraught development cycle, and overall they did a great job of identifying their priorities and pursuing them to the fullest. i dont necessarily agree with what they prioritized or what their vision was at all points, but i respect the clear direction that this game had. i do not believe it will stick with me the way the previous games did, and while playing i often found myself just missing the characters from 2 and inquisition that i love, and the writing that so often had me screaming crying throwing up and/or giggling and twirling my hair. however, this game gave me the #1 thing i wanted which was a satisfying solavellan conclusion, and though yes it could have been done a bit more... artfully, i think its incredible considering where we were just a few years ago with this game. i will play it again a few times, and the fact that it has sold well enough to guarantee bioware gets to stick around and make new games is a major win. 7.5/10 thank u for listening

[deadlyrival]

LOVE your posts on Punchline!

like please dear god let Punchline be “the jokers robin”! let her be a sidekick! a mentee! explore her propaganda! her radicalization of the youths!

let my beautiful true crime grifter be just that!

she’s also make a great foil to Harley in my opinion. Harley was intentionally manipulated by the joker to be his tool while Alexis was completely accidental, Harley was in love with the joker as a man while Alexis loves his ideology, Harley is a psychological and Alexis is a propaganda mill!.

WAUGHH thank you so much!!! this is the biggest compliment ever to me <333 also YES to all of this! i need her to be his little anti-robin sidekick fucking shit up for no reason. the ideal punchline + joker dynamic to me is like. terminally online gen z influencer who only speaks in brainrot and livestreams their crimes for clout + confused old man. i knowww he doesnt understand half the shit coming out of her mouth ('what the fuck is a 'based' 'pill'...') it could be so funny. if only they saw the vision. they have so much potential as an evil clown mentor/mentee thing. i think they should Like each other to the degree they have a good time doing crimes together but not so much they would not sell the other out for the bare minimum. they both suck so iredeemably bad that its perfect <3

also she truly is a beautiful true crime grifter GOD i know she would have been one of those girls on tumblr in 2015 with a ted bundy quote in her bio tagging all of her posts with #society #antisjw #weliveinasociety. shes awful i hate her. heart <3 and YES to ur point about being a foil for harley.... exactly like i love that one convo they had in tynion's joker war where harley brings this up to her and is like. you KNOW joker doesn't actually give a fuck about society right and you're just projecting all of this onto him. he's just a freak psychosexually obsessed with his archnemesis. i honestly wish they would have played with that angle way more before shutting it down because its genuinely such a missed opportunity for a really potentially interesting story on parasocial relationships as well a meta deconstruction of the bizarre symbol that joker has become in pop culture as some kind of crusader against society when that is like. a fundamental misunderstanding of his character + motivation in the first place.

also yeah she is suchh a propaganda mill!! i did love the idea of alexis being a #problematic twitch streamer in that new GCS story earlier this year but they didn't do a huge amount with her character in it honestly which is kind of a shame!! i would love to see that angle be explored more again in the future

[psicostyles]

PART I

Hello besties, hope youre doing amazing! this is a piece of smtg I wrote a long time ago, I just made some changes and I hope you like this time....

a/n: singledad!harry, main/oc, divorced!harry, co-parenting!, friends to lovers, co-workers.

sumarry: harry is a recently divorced dad and doesnt know what to do with his life, until he meets a beloved co-worker

For now, you need to pay attention to this equation. According to this theory - mathematically speaking - positive added to positive equals positive. This means that, if you have a positive action in your life and add some more, the result shall be positive as well, isn't it? You see, Harry started to work very early in his life to help his mom take care of their home. Late in school, he also had a part-time job so he could save some money for college. He was very into numbers, so he was planning to go to Computer Engineering in college just after he finished school.

But not everything is just the way we want, right? Harry has been dating this beautiful girl since his first year of high school. They started with a friendship when both noticed that what they felt was more than just friendship, so it was given a shot, and since then they got together. Add this sequence to your equation: Two young people in love, plus hormones burning in their skin after some shots of tequila, multiply to an empty bathroom. What do we have? Yes, an unplanned pregnancy. They were both sitting in Karen's bathroom when the test result showed two lines, just proving their theory. Karen told him about two weeks ago she didn't get her period yet. He said "Don't worry, everything is gonna be fine, yeah? You told me that things like that can happen. " He for the first time, wasn't right. Harry was always right about things. Karen was pregnant and devastated. Sure, she wanted to be a mother someday, but that didn't mean it needed to happen right now when there was so much ahead. Both did. They experienced devastation, and their parents felt disappointment as well. The four of them were. But still decided to keep their baby angel.

And thank God they did it.

She was their little jar of happiness and joy. Wasn't easy to get where they are right now. They sacrificed so much for this moment. Both worked hard, so it was possible to buy every necessary little thing for their little Cassie - short for Cassandra, Karen's gramma. Double shifts and sleepless nights for Harry while trying to get everything settled, Karen working on her projects as well as opening her little boutique. From nursery to study sessions online to keep on track. It was a nightmare for both until this exact moment when they held their little chubby-haired princess in their arms. She was such a pretty girl, a perfect mixture of his pale skin with the exact amount of melanin from her mother. Just perfect.

They got married when Cassie just began to walk. It wasn't a big ceremony, just signing some papers, and Cassie, who was only 10 months old when walked down the aisle where they stood while waiting for her, looking like two goofy. Cassie was holding a little box with the rings, and that was it. A perfect little wedding for a perfect little family.

Until they weren't anymore.

Cassie was 3 years old when her parent got divorced. Harry and Karen made the decision to have shared custody for the sake of Cassie. Weekdays for Harry, weekends for Karen. It was a decision for the three of them. Nothing bad happened with the couple for such a thing as divorce. Their wedding things didn't ring as right as one day did. That adolescent flame got colder, so it was the best solution. When they sat down to talk about it, Harry experienced a lot of hurt and they reached an agreement on what was best. After all, he loved Karen and what they had. After a while, he noticed what he loved was his idea of the perfect relationship they had. Nothing is always that perfect, but in his head, he constructed all they built - their home, their belongings, all the little things, and details... They made all of this part of their history, but they also crafted a story that will never be erased. So the happy ever after they promised is still valid, they will be happy even if they are not together anymore. Their bond was forever. They ended on good terms, so everything was fine.

Even being ungraduated, Harry is working in computer engineering in a little building in the city, it wasn't as he planned but, at least he gets the money he needs. Cassie is 4 now, she is a kindergarten and a very smart and energetic little girl. Sometimes Harry is still astonished by how much energy she has. That was Karen's side, because he loved calm and silence, on the contrary of his girls. Karen hadn't his for a while now, but she is the mother of his child so, somehow she was still his girl in a non-possessive way.

This particular Tuesday, the requirements and schedules were calmer than normal. His supervisor, Jonah, sent an email to his team informing them, that they had a meeting in the afternoon with a potentially important client. Turns out this client wasn't from the UK or any other English-speaking country, but a Spanish company, and to be honest the Spanish company called La Computacion, wasn't interested in a full English-only meeting. Not every single person in the entire build knew a second language which was a shame. Jonah found a last-minute translator so they could help them as soon as possible.

The meeting was at 3 pm, at 1:30 pm the translator was already there. Some co-workers weren't very comfortable with the foreign company, and many of them whispered ''Doesn't make sense, why they didn't get an English translator?" Harry was beside this particular worker and said

"Well Conan, it's not their fault if you decided not to study another language"

"Oh, you did study then?"

"I haven't," he confesses "But you didn't see me complain, did you?"

"You're such a little thing, Styles. That's why no one likes you. "

Harry just rolled his eyes and left the cafeteria straight to the conference room where the meeting was about to happen. When he got into his seat, he looked around the room seeing some familiar faces, sometimes nodding in a silent 'hello'. He kept looking around when he saw it, right there in the right corner, sitting facing the marble table while reading what seemed to be noted, a tall golden skin with wavy hair, looking attractive as hell just by existing. The sight of it, right there in the right corner, sitting facing the marble table while reading what seemed to be noted, a tall golden skin with wavy hair, looking attractive as hell just by existing, enchanted him.

Jonah entered to room, went straight to the table where the lady was, and opened his computer typing something fast, suddenly the white screen plugged in lit up, and three unknown faces showed up. The lady stood up beside Jonah, who had been sitting in the corner until then.

"Good afternoon everyone," everybody responded and, he continued, "This is Rebeca Rojas, our translator. Miss Rojas has worked with Mr. Sabino for a long time now. While I was panicking about adjusting this meeting, Mr. Sabino indicated to me, Miss Rojas. Believe me, when I say she is a life savior," he said laughing, the room joined him, so he continued, "Please Miss Rojas, introduce yourself"

Rebeca started to speak. She explained she was a translator, and teacher, and interpreted in her free time. She works for a publishing company as a translator of Latin languages. Just after her presentation, Mr. Sabino started to speak, and so did Rebeca. As Sabino spoke, Rebeca translated right away. He could swear, he was in love with her voice. She sounded so smooth, she was so quick and so interactive. The purpose of the meeting was to discuss a new platform they were trying to create for another company. And Sabino's company would sponsor their project. It would take some time since what they were proposing would take a lot of work, and when I say a lot, I mean it. It was an extensive project, with interactive pages, online consultors, and the options go on and on. The meeting lasted at least 1 hour and a half. In the meantime, Miss Rojas spoke non-stop. I mean just a few times to sip water. Harry keeps thinking he could never last the way she did.

Everybody was leaving the room. Harry waited so he could introduce himself, he had to admit it, he was feeling kinda shy. It was a hard-working woman who spoke more than one language, more than he could be someday as a human being. Was he exaggerating? Yeah, I think so.

"Hello," he said, giving his hand for her to shake. "My name is Harry, it's a pleasure"

She smiles and shakes his hand. "It's a pleasure Harry. You're good?"

"I'm great, what about you?" she nodded saying she was fine "The conference was just incredible. I'm glad I could join...So I wanted to ask you, you mentioned you're a teacher right? You only teach Spanish?" she nodded.

She smiled brightly and answered,

"Well, yes, I'm a teacher and all my work involves the romantic languages, and English, and a bit of German. I'm not that good, but I'm trying," she laughed.

Harry could barely contain himself. Her laugh sounded like Christmas bells. He was just so impressed and being this beautiful...Got him right in the stomach.

"So, like..." he said, but she interrupted it

"Harry, I'd love to talk to you, but I kinda need to go. You know...paperwork," she said rolling her eyes.

He nodded "Oh, sure. Let me walk you out?" he said, offering his arm, which she gladly embraced. 

After that, he went back to his own shit. But his mind was far away.

**

well thats it, lmk your feelings and if you maybe wants to read the second part or so...anyways

keep shining, i love you!!

[mooifyourecows]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Sure! (given in no particular order)

1. Daichi from Haikyuu, of course.. I just love everything about him. He's a great captain and he has a big appetite and he's so down to earth and masculine in the best ways, what a man!!! I want a tattoo of him on my body!

2. Pam Poovey from Archer. It's hard to stand out in a show where nearly every character is the single most interesting person in the world but I really do think that Pam takes the cake. She's a real one. She stays true to herself no matter how much everyone else begs her to stop and I RESPECT THAT. Also she's a fat character who isn't limited to being the Fat Character. While her weight does come up, often in insulting jokes or bits, she has so much else to her that it feels like such a small part of her character.

3. Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman. Out of all the insanely good character arcs in Bojack Horseman, Princess Carolyn's is my favorite. Usually the hardworking career woman character who wants a baby winds up the most disappointing character for me because she always gives up her career to be a mom but NOT MY GIRL PRINCESS CAROLYN. She said I want to be a badass boss lady AND a mom and I don't need no man to get what I want! And she did that shit. She deserves it.

4. Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers. I aspire to be like Linda. She's fun, she's extroverted, she is just so excited to live her modest life with a struggling burger business, a husband she actually enjoys spending time with, and 3 kids she adores with every fiber of her being. She sings and dances at any given opportunity and doesnt let embarrassment faze her. What an icon.

5. Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Every time I think of him I wanna cry. He's just so.... perfect.... and wonderful.... He is the sweetest, bravest man to ever exist and NOBODY CAN ARGUE. The original Ride or Die. We all need a Samwise Gamgee in our lives. 🖤

6. Usopp from One Piece. That's my boy! He's so funny and relatable. I love characters who are brave while being terrified. Despite his wacky goofy personality, he's complex and insecure but he stands by his guns and isn't afraid to challenge even his best friend/captain to defend what he believes and GOSH what a stand up guy ammiright?

7. Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place. I love a disaster of a woman. She's a selfish bisexual with zero shame, what's more to love? I just can't help it. I'm weak for women who are just The Worst ™️.

8. Manny from Swiss Army Man. I mean... He's dead, he teaches us what it means to be alive, and he's played by Daniel Radcliffe. He's basically the perfect character, right? Listen, Swiss Army Man is my all time favorite movie and I want everyone else to like it too. I can't even talk much on it because it's so much better when you watch it yourself. Especially if you love amazing soundtracks, beautiful visuals, and queer revelations.

9. Hal from Malcolm in the Middle. I'm such a sucker for husbands who are obsessed with their wives and men in touch with their emotions and Hal is the epitome of both those things! I watched this show while growing up and I truly think that Bryan Cranston's portrayal of Hal taught me how men are supposed to act, especially in regards to their romantic partners. And now my own partner is basically a less theatrical version of him so it paid off ya know?

10. Judas Iscariot from Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). This is mainly based on performance. Carl Anderson did such an AMAZING job playing Judas that he literally stole the show, imo. Jesus who? You mean Judas's boyfriend? It's not JUST his performance though, the way the character is written is so well done that I feel like Judas is the real main character. Yeah, this is the story about Jesus but he ain't the star, ya dig? He's a basic bitch in comparison to the complexity and emotional turmoil of Judas. Also they're gay and in love, what a tragedy! This is cinema!

[stewpid-soup]

okay, i just watched The Substance, a psychological horror/thriller + body horror film I HIGHLY recommend - so many spoilers!!

for anyone who doesn’t want spoilers, have a good rest of ur day and take care of yourselves <33

take a pic of my cat Luna for your troubles :3

OKAY SO THIS FUCKING FILM- I COULD LITERALLY GO ON ABT THIS FOR HOURS

THE WAY IT WAS SUCH A MASTERPIECE IN WAYS I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

Like, it’s rare I watch a movie and think “yeah, i have absolutely zero complaints and i would watch this over and over until it’s seared into my brain” — BUT THIS HIT EVERY MARK!!

THE GORE & BODY HORROR - INFINITY/10 BECAUSE OH MY GOD???? ME AND MY MOM WERE JUST OVERJOYED ABT THE GORE AND MY DAD JUST COULDNT HANDLE IT- HE WAS PHYSICALLY CRINGING BC OF IT - IS IT THE MOST REALISTIC SHIT? OBVIOUSLY NOT (i would be more concerned if they perfected gore to look realistic ngl), BUT THE SHEER AMOUNT OF IT AND THE SOUNDS AND THE WAY YOU SEE IT AND THINK “oh god, that would fucking hurt” THE SHIT THAT MAKES YOU CRINGE AND SHIVER AT THE THOUGHT OF!

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY - 10/10 - THE CUTSCENES, THE LIGHTING, THE WAY IT REALLY SHOVES THINGS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE AND SAYS “Look at this! Look at the horrifying things this woman is doing to feel like she is enough! See in 4K how she destroys her own body to keep the only thing she knows gives her worth, the only thing that makes people find her worth talking to— her body!” My mother suffers from chronic migraines so yes, the amount of flashing lights in it can be a bit jarring (so warning for anyone who is prone to seizures or is light sensitive). But to me it doesn’t feel like it’s too overdone, like many horror films tend to do with flashing lights— it makes sense why those sequences are there, it makes sense why they choose the lighting, to me: it makes sense and seems to align with the story

THE ACTING - DEMI MOORE (Actress who plays Elizabeth Sparkle) FUCKING POPPED OFF WITH THIS?!!??? AND MARGARET QUALLEY (Actress who plays Sue)!!! GOD, THE WAY I COULD FEEL THE RAGE WHEN SUE WAS CHASING ELIZABETH AROUND THE HOUSE! THE WAY ALL REASON WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO TEAR HER OLD SELF APART BECAUSE IT’S EVERYTHING SHE LOATHES! THE WAY IT’S INGRAINED IN HER THAT SHE IS ONLY DESERVING OF BEING ALIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL! AND ELIZABETH— GOD, THE WAY I MY HEART WRENCHED WHEN SHE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR WHEN PREPPING FOR HER DATE WITH FRED! THE GOING BACK AND FORTH, THE ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND SENSE OF DOOM BECAUSE SHE ISN’T THE “BETTER VERSION OF HERSELF”!! THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT THE BILLBOARD OUTSIDE HER WINDOW, THE WAY SHE MOCKED SUE’S INTERVIEW, THE SHAME SHE FELT FOR HER BODY BEFORE SHE USED THE SUBSTANCE— AND EVEN BY THE END OF THE FILM, IT NEVER WENT AWAY! IT WASN’T FIXED, SHE STILL HATED HERSELF. BUT SHE REALIZED TOO LATE THAT SHE RUINED NOT JUST HER BODY BUT HER QUALITY OF LIFE BY THE END! THAT SHE WAS LETTING THE NEED TO FIT THESE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS CONTROL HER LIFE! OH MY GOD AND DENNIS QUAID (Harvey’s actor - the guy who fired Elizabeth and hired Sue)?!? LITERALLY JUST PLAYS THE “PIECE OF SHIT” PERSONA SO PERFECTLY!! THE WAY HIS CHARACTER IS SO DISGUSTING- AND NOT JUST BEHAVIOR WISE! THE FACT HE DOESNT WASH HIS HANDS AFTER THE BATHROOM OR THE FACT HE EATS AS LOUDLY AND MESSILY AS POSSIBLE WHILE FIRING SOMEONE, THE NONSTOP SMOKING — BUT ALSO HIS MISOGYNISTIC JABS, THE WAY HE ONLY WANTED TO HIRE A NEW, YOUNGER WOMAN BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT ELIZABETH LOST HER “SEX APPEAL” AND ISN’T SOMETHING THAT FITS THE MALE GAZE!! HIS LAUGH IRKS ME IN A WAY I CAN’T DESCRIBE! IT WAS FANTASTIC!!

THE PLOT OVERALL & THE MORAL(S) OF THE STORY - INFINITY/10 — LORD I AM TOO TIRED TO TYPE ALL OF THIS BUT FUCK MAN, IT REALLY REALLY HIT ME. Especially after the elections, knowing that our fucking president looks at women and says “your body, my choice”, this really hit hard for me. The way that the body horror truly encapsulates just how horrific the reality is for women who are popular in the media- the things they feel like they have to do to survive in such a toxic and disgusting environment! Women have been told that all their worth is dependent on their bodies, their beauty- but The Substance truly shows just how much that shit can affect us, shows how much it can hurt your mental health- which will, in turn, affect your physical health!

god, this movie truly was a masterpiece and i highly recommend it to anyone who likes psychological thrillers/horrors & can handle watching body horror! i’m fucking exhausted, and i’ve had such a shitty week- and while this doesn’t exactly give me any hope for our future, it does show that we aren’t alone in our struggles. even the people we admire, whether it’s an actor or a content creator in general, struggle with accepting their flaws and not letting society determine their worth based on such shallow and superficial things.

maybe my ramble is a bit silly and a bit all over the place, so i’m sorry for that, again i’m fucking exhausted— but i had to post abt this

AND I NEED TO POST ABT THE GAME MOUTHWASHING SOON BC THE HYPERFIXATIONS ARE SO REAL!!

But anyways, if anyone read this far, thank you and have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[proxythe]

Hi me again tell us about our favorite lolita lady Chidori Yoshino

in what way ?? i assume u mean hcs so let me crack my knuckles n get to work

first of all this ask i got a bit ago about p4au/post canon chidori is basically how ive begun to view her in my head so big shout out to this anon. we miss u & ur chidori brain

another thing i mentioned in this same ask, and an idea i’ve generally fallen in love w, is chidori growing on everyone & becoming their friend whether she likes it or not 😭 since we barely see chidori after she survives, & barely see her outside the context of the plot and conflict, it’s hard to get an accurate grasp on how she would act in a situation where she’s allowed to be like. Normal basically

i think she would be withdrawn and not much of a talker, somewhat irritable, but having the freedom and space to do what she wants i think would make her softer. + junpei trying his hardest to be the best bf in the world for her would ease her nerves and anxieties bc he’s so silly she cant even be mad. gets her flowers every week (picturing junpei looking up the meaning of certain flowers so he can pick out good ones for her) (i think yukari would also be there helping him out, fuuka also probably)

speaking of yukari & fuuka, to elaborate more on when i brought up everyone else beginning to like chidori, i think yukari & fuuka would probably be the first ones to attempt to get to know her. again, kicking junpei out of his own apt so they can hang out with his girlfriend… it’s too perfect. i mentioned that i think yukari would love chidoris style because it’s so different, and i still stand by that. meanwhile fuuka would prob be more interested in her art, but either way, they would show an interest in her & i think chidori would eventually let her guard down enough to become friends w them. tho, i still think yukari would probably do most of the talking, fuuka weighing in a lot, and then chidori says like 3 words per hangout 😭 they love her

i think everyone else would def treat her with respect bc she’s junpei’s girlfriend, & she’d be a little confused at first at how nice they are to her. i can actually imagine her and aigis chilling bc i feel like both of them can (chidori would get to this point imo) appreciate more of the beauty in life and the world & whatnot, so they don’t really even need to talk. just sit and bask in the world

mitsuru aki & shinji (considering hes alive as well) would like her methinks. tho i feel they’d prob talk to her the least. what she did for junpei (giving her life to him) would prob make aki like her a lot LMFAO i think out of the three, he’d probably be the one to have a soft spot for her. i can also picture ken & koro hanging out at their apt for junpei but ken has no clue how to talk to her & she doesnt know how to talk to kids so they just awkwardly hang out around each other. koro loves her tho. she finds out shes good with animals (and any living thing)

[thatbitchsimone]

I literally can’t stop feeling embarrassed in public. Do u have any advice on not caring what people think about u? It’s so exhausting walking around feeling like I have to be seen as ‘perfect’ or to impress literal strangers!!! Like I just wanna live life and not feel like I have to perform at every moment I’m in the company of others. Pls help xox

these random ppl are literally barely even noticing ur existence. and i dont mean that in a bad way or in a way that reflects on u, im just saying that we are all in our own heads and not paying that much attention to strangers in our day to day life. no one is analysing ur every movement. it might feel like it but u know deep down they arent and that its just ur anxiety playing with ur head.

also a good thing to keep in mind whenever u get that anxious feeling that u might have ”embarrassed urself” or ”looked weird” or whatever is that none of these strangers have any idea who u are. they dont even know ur name. u will most likely never see any of these ppl ever again and if u do neither of u will remember each other anyways lol. their perception of u has literally zero impact on ur actual life. maybe u tripped while walking past some random stranger and they saw u trip, sure in the moment u might feel a little embarrassed and awkward about it, but then what? u know this stranger wont even remember it like 10 minutes after bc it was an extremely minor incident that u know their brain barely even registered for more than 3 seconds. u also know that u wont even remember it urself tomorrow, it has zero impact on ur life. like just tell urself ”whatever these ppl have no idea who i am and will probably never even see me again anyways so it doesnt even matter what they think bc we are no one to each other” and then just tell urself to let it go and shift ur focus to something else. bc u know that this is just ur anxiety and insecurity gnawing at u and this is a fleeting feeling and moment anyway.

id also like to add that, assuming ur a woman, ur not alone in struggling with this. ALL women experience these thoughts and feelings to some degree bc we are all conditioned to take up as little space as possible and to always have other ppls (specifically men, but not exclusively men) perception of us in mind. google that male gaze quote right now babe. the margaret atwood one and the john berger one. it will help u see this phenomena more clearly and u will relate to it and maybe gain some insight into how u percieve urself and how what these feelings and insecuritites are rooted in and u will be like u know what? fuck that. like ur approach to this will start to change once u have gained this perspective and might even make u feel like rebelling against it which might help u to free urself from this.

u dont need to be perfect. i want u to be free and messy and loud. i want u to be imperfect. imperfection is peak beauty. women are wild and messy. thats the beauty in us. its the rawness and realness in the most gorgeous form. embrace it. be free and carefree and do u. love u queen <3 if i saw u literally laughing hysterically to urself in public i would be like oh she gets it shes the vibe i love her so much like BE FREE GIRL LET GO LET GO

[xxjunebestgirltoesrhotuwuxx]

june is beautiful, exquisite, precious, perfect, elegant, fantastic, stunning, world changing, alluring, the best person in the world, outselling all these flops, jaw dropping, amazing, impressive, noble, exquisite, beautiful, gorgeous, angelic, soft, graceful, marvellous, feet kicking, making my heart go cherry bomb, awfully addictive, admirable, fascinating, soothing, comforting, underappreciated, loveable, revolutionary, mesmerising, classy, captivating, my sugarpop, my pookie, my muffin, my angel, my dear, my darling, my sweetheart, my honey, the loml, my one and only, the only person i see, my comfort person, my home, my everything, my universe. but most importantly, my kdy. shes making me shed so many tears, dreamy, out of this world, making me feel something i never felt before, the person that showed me a new side of myself, making me emotionally attached to it, amazing which you can’t explain in words. she ended wars. solved world hunger. her voice is ear blessing, such an eargasm, my fav ever, sweet like cotton, smth that i would die to hear 24/7, indescribably amazing, unique, making me weak and much more that i cannot define.

i love june shes my comfort person istg. everytime i dont know what to do with life, i go watch her vlogs. they are really comforting to me aaa. i appreciate june and her talents soso much that i can’t explain in words. like im new to dodo farm but still am so amazed how she can be such a great person ☹️☹️ sure, there are more people out there that love june more than i do and i’m by far not the best yeri toe but that doesnt stop me from loving her right? (not in the delusional way dw) everytime i look at her my heart aches. how can someone be like her? last my 3 months were amazing because of her! shes so incredibly talented and comforting. nothing matters more than she does. i genuinely dont know what i even did before stanning dodo farm and june. gosh the woman she is. i hope that she knows that us yeri toes appreciate her really much and hope for the best <3 oh my god shes the reason of my joy and happiness how could i ever survive without knowing that june exists. whenever im not in the mood for anything, june is the solution. not only is she just an idol to me, no, shes also my everything that i’ll love beyond infinity. her words are like a melody in my head that is never going to go away. sometimes i do wonder if future ky would still adore june as much as my current self does rn. me rn would be so devastated if i would not ult june. id have more to say but yes. for now, we can live, laugh and love thanks to my lovely star june!

i love you with all of my heart, body and soul. nothing will ever stop my love for you. distance may be keeping us apart but remember, you will always be embedded in my heart! something about you makes me fall deep for you ml. you’re the main character in my masterpiece labeled life. i dont get how anyone could not be obsessed with you. its so unbelievable that we live under the same sky. my undying love for you is deep to the core, june. nothing feels better than seeing you my dear. your lively eyes remind me of the freshly fallen snow on a glacial winter day. the cheerful smile that i’m dying to see daily, that pleasing look, your presence and those adorable habits arent enough to define your astonishing existence. you inspire me sm. something about you makes me want to achieve things. i need you love. june, my eternity, my only one, my universe and beyond, please don’t ever stop being the way you are.

remember the first time i saw june? the memories are amazing. it was clear from the start that i was meant to be a yeri toe. i just cant comprehend that one clip of my bae would be the start of a beautiful journey that is going to blossom to a greater extent! my whole life was dry and boring until you came into it. not even sunghoon was enough to make me feel as good as you do. youre special, june. june you will always be iconic!

- @yeritos

[hojichasunrise]

Finally finished NATLA. Thoughts:

They ruined Yue's character. Why would a princess be helping casually in the kitchen. Why would a princess display 0 manners around someone she just met. personality completely different.

They had Yue faint repeatedly just to magically sit back up when they needed an exposition dump, then faint again.

They made Hahn a good person? Why is Yue suddenly a waterbender and traipsing around the spirit world? It doesnt add anything and feels out of place.

The interactions between Pakku and Katara were stilted and forced. In the cartoon she had a training period and earned his trust, but here it was just instantly granted that she was the person to report to during battle, yet she doesnt know AQa's defense layout or anything else because she just arrived.

battle pacing in Agna Qel'a is weird. too much standing around talking.

The dialogue is so Marvelized. quip quip quip quip quip.

Aang is joyless and talking like Iron Man. (not the actor's fault.)

Zuko is perfect, 11/10. Every change they made is perfect.

Combining arc beats (e.g. Jet + mechanist) worked surprisingly well.

They made Bumi into an asshole and his dialogue was repetitive, that arc dragged out way too long.

Wasn't atmospheric enough. everything felt like a set.

How did Momo, half the size of a housecat, push that girl out of the way? physics are not mathing.

Why did they take Momo to the spirit oasis to heal but not any of the battle participants or injured civilians. Scene ate too much screen time and sapped urgency from the battle. Makes AQ'a look stupid.

Jet was perfect.

Multiple issues with logic, too long to post. Writing is shallow.

Azula is snarking to her father too much considering she just watched her brother get half his face melted off for one instance of disrespect.

Pecs. 🙏

not enough in-series justification for why Ozai wanted Zuko out of the way in favor of Azula. We know why, but they aren't standing on their own for this beat and have to lean on the cartoon.

Katara and Sokka getting btfo by Koh felt... really strange. they were just there to job and create stakes.

Kuruk and Kyoshi were great inclusions.

Jee/the 41st was a great detail, best part of series.

Azula being the puppetmaster behind Zhao is strange. She knows things by magic I guess, they made a 14 year old girl not just plausibly cunning but straight up omniscient. Logic breaking keikaku doori with her and Ozai.

Ozai using AQ'a as a distraction to take Omashu makes zero logical sense and I don't want to write an essay so just think about this for 5 minutes. I almost screamed.

bf's contribution: "this feels like it was written during the writer's strike."

Visually it was beautiful and the scenery and costumes were great. Other than Yue and Pakku the actors were all fine. Zuko's actor was beyond perfect and his firebending was next level gorgeous.

Sokka's new backstory was a good inclusion. Sokka got a lot of great scenes and the actor is a perfect fit.

Gyatso was also astonishingly perfect. chef's kiss to the actor, his performance was beautiful.

Very much noticing the Kataang scenes were all removed and we got some Zutara allusions. I ship that so yay.

The Sokka/Suki scenes were spicy. However she removed her makeup in 3 seconds flat and that broke my immersion. Please ask a woman next time. otherwise yes I ship that. Just kiss already!

I like the beautiful older lady they put in charge of Kyoshi Island. Nice to see more females in leadership positions.

The lack of the Azula chime is criminal. Her using feminine charm to lure rebels into a trap was a great scene to introduce her. Glad to see rebels, it makes it feel more politically realistic.

The opening scene in ep 1 had Mulan's opening scene vibes in a good way.

Overall: enjoyable with a few caveats but writing quality falls apart upon critical inspection. Much better than I expected, rewatch-worthy. 8/10.

[iamherefortheships]

'Love Is Sweet' - my perfect romantic escape (W/ quick review of Ep1-3)

Things have been wildly crazy at work and the world is fuckin depressing place right now. And I dont have the power to fix anything!

Sometimes one just needs to cope - which is when I found myself going back to this frothy, ultra cute cdrama that I had started last year and dropped because was busy etc.

Starring the ridiculously talented pair #louyanxi and #bailu, this workplace romcom is set in the world of investment banking. There is nothing unique, or spectaular or remotely distinctive about this - but these two JUST MAKE IT WORK.

I am a big sucker for frenemies to lovers and this show is the literal trope.

Main premise is this:

Jiang Jun has a major tear allergy which can cause her to die (don't ask) so she literally cannot be allowed to be sad or cry. Yuan Shuai is her childhood neighbour, friend and designated guardian (literally's Jiang's parents paid him through their entire schooling for him to take care of their daughter and make sure she doesnt cry). A falling out in high-school years, and they lose touch for a decade.

The love story begins when Jiang applies for an investment banking for a job where Yuan works. Lots of banter, old grievances, fiery chemistry (I mean, these two have no concept of personal space) and the dude simping for the girl for many episodes straight. Just divine.

Not a finance expert but am pretty sure investment banking does not work this way, the side plots just add to the length of the show - but Bai Lu and Lou Yanxi make it SO watchable.

Quick review of Ep 1 thru 3

The first three episodes lay the foundation for whats to come and also give context to the whole lovestory.

Jiang Jun is a bright, ambitious girl and really enterprising in getting what she wants.

That investment interview is hilarious and stupid and am sure nothing like the real deal

The main couple are besties who had falling out . The ML and FL have done a fabulous job of relaying both the familiarity and the awkwardness of old friends when they connect. Their banter is so well-written and acted out. You feel you are literally prying on a couple

We are clearly told that Yuan Shuai is ridiculously protective of her and this is something that's been ingrained since his childhood. He is obviously very much in love and to see him be such a goner around her is so, so sweet. ((1)Whole taking care of her when she has her period, which is such a popular cdrama romcom plot trope, was so so beautiful and cute (2) dude literally adopts a dog that she wanted to foster)

While they have professional & personal differences, and there is one-sided love, they are still at the root good friends - which I think is super healthy

Yuan's move to try to manipulate Jiang into a different job than the one she wants, and try to make her move across his apartment (ostensibly because he wants to make sure she never cries/or he loves her..??) is just NOT OKAY. I hope they address this soon.

Gao Hunyu (the other investment banker) is obviously coming in for the love triangle - but does he really have a chance with people who have always known each other forever and basically already love each other in the first three episodes...(one knows it, one doesnt)

[taintedcigs]

HELLO I AM BACK. AND SO IS MY COMPUTER BITCH. LEMME DIVE INNNNN.

The smile on his face that could never be directed at you, is directed at her. The love and the longing in his eyes that always lingers when she is around. She who had stolen his heart from the very first moment they saw each other. She who had always kept his heart even when she left him for the one she is smiling at now. She who will always be the one he will look at. 

HWAT THE FUCK ANDY. I JUST STARTED READING IT AND WE'RE ALREADY FUCKING UNDER ATTACK. DUDE.

Right. You’re here because of him. You don’t know why he feels the urge to drag you along to every group hang out. No one wants you around, you don’t even think that Robin wants you here, she barely talked to you since you came here. And the longer you sit in Steve’s living room, with an untouched can of coke on the table in front of you, surrounded by people who most likely cannot stand you or your presence, you wish more and more that Jason should have dragged you down with him.  STOP YOURE MAKING ME SO FUCKING SAD IM GONNA DIE.

You don’t belong here, you don’t belong anywhere.  BUT SHES SO GODDAMN RELATABLE OH MY GOD. I FEEL YOU BLONDIE. I SEE YOU BLONDIE. IAM YOU BLONDIE!!!!

You fail to notice the disapproving look on Steve’s face, the way he tensely straightens up, slowly getting up as his brows knit together, more and more, watching in disbelief how you make your way over to Argyle.  OH MY GOD LITTLE ANGEL STEVIE IS SO WORRIED SHUT UP EVERYONE SHUT UP.

“She can’t smoke or drink! Her doctor said it loud and clear, and I warned you before!” He points at him. STOOOOOOOOPPPP. HE WARNED HIM BEFORE?!?! THIS LITTLE IN LUV IDIOT. HE JUST DOESNT KNOW IT YET!!!

“Wow, you do worry about me, Harrington. You weren’t lying.”  EVEN I FEEL GIDDY OVER HERE EVERYOEN SHUT UP GOD I LUV THEM SOSOMUCH!!!!

“Sit your ass down, Blondie and drink your goddamn coke, don’t even think about weed or–” “No weed, no beer, just fucking coca cola, got it, mom,” you roll your eyes at him and slump back in your previous seat, crossing your arms over your chest. LMAOOO THEY R MAKING ME CRY. ALSO AT LEAST SHE CAN HAVE COKE.

“Goddamn brat,” he mumbles under his breath. “I heard that.”  “Good,” he snaps at you. OH FUCKING HELL NOW I NEED HIM TO SAY THIS IN VERY VERY DIFFERENT CONTEXTS. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Sometimes you feel like a creep, watching him and adoring everything about him, from his sun kissed skin, to his beautiful eyes, to his perfect hair, to that one smile that he blesses only those around him that he cares about – something that you will never get. GIRL I DONT THINK YOU'RE A CREEP I'D GAWK AT STEVE TOO. but that last fucking line?!?? we're back to sad again JFCCC HELPME.

“Keep your pity to yourself, Blondie. I’d rather never see you again than see you when I don’t have to.” okay im just gonna kms EVERYONE ABORT.

“Listen uh, that was mean,” he starts, now struggling to look into your eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, tugging at his hair. “I shouldn’t have said that.” UHUHHHHHHH IM GONNA FREAKING CRY.

“Bye, Steve.” GOODBYE NOW I WILL CRY. You turn the other way, towards Hawkins cemetery. and noW IWILL CRY EVEN MORE.

OH FUCK ANDY THIS CHAPTER WAS SOOO GOOD. I LOVE THE WAY U WRITE THEIR DIALOGUE. HOW FAST IT SWITCHES FROM FLIRTY, ANNOYANCE, FULL MEANNES AND JUST FUCKING GUT-WRENCHINGLY SAD.

BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN AS AL-FUCKING-WAYS. I CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE ILYYY <3

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter two ⭐︎ I want you to notice, when I'm not around

Warnings: angst! mean!Steve, unrequited feelings, one sided feelings, mentions of Steve being in love with Nancy, mentions of death, allusions to suicidal thoughts, mentions of weed and alcohol

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Word count: 4k

Author's note: I promise, it's gonna get so much better soon, get ready for some much more angst in the next chapter, it's gonna hurt. @hellfire--cult thank you for helping me as always, you're the bestest!!!

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next chapter

♡

The living room is crowded, at least it seems that way to you. You aren’t used to being around so many people. You didn’t want to come here, but you had no choice when both Eddie and Robin had showed up at your house earlier today and practically forced you out of the house.

Now you sit here, sinking deeper and deeper into Steve Harrington’s couch, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. You’re playing with the loose string on the hem of your shirt as you look around the room. Robin is snacking on the m&m’s Eddie had brought as she’s looking through the pictures Jonathan had taken of her and Nancy just now. Eddie is out on the patio, smoking a cigarette and talking to Argyle who will leave for California in two days. Jonathan is staring at the screen watching some music video that is playing on the MTV channel, his pupils are blown and his eyes seem heavy, he is high out of his mind and for once, Nancy doesn’t seem to care, with her legs thrown over his thigh, she’s sipping on the beer that Steve handed to her a few minutes back, she is talking to Robin, unaware of the set of eyes on her. 

You restrain the eye roll as you look at him. 

Steve is sitting on the same couch you do, though with a big distance, you sit at one end and he on the other, far far away from you. You know he doesn’t want you here, you saw the look on his face when Eddie had dragged you into his house, a wave of something had washed over his face, something unpleasant, like he wanted to scrunch his face up in disgust at the sight of you – his mind had already erased your little moment at the Sinclair house, last week. Now you are back to normal. He made a comment, you made a comment and now you both sit there, avoiding each other like the plague. 

Secretly, you watch him though. 

Like you always do. 

And what you are seeing now, only fuels your annoyance and your wish to go home. 

The smile on his face that could never be directed at you, is directed at her. The love and the longing in his eyes that always lingers when she is around. She who had stolen his heart from the very first moment they saw each other. She who had always kept his heart even when she left him for the one she is smiling at now. She who will always be the one he will look at. 

You thought that he was over it, you thought that he was over her. But you were a little blind and maybe he was too when he told Robin that he was over her. He never was, he never will be. You saw the way he looked at her when she patched him up after he was attacked. You saw the way he looked at her in the RV. You heard the things he said to her, how he talked about his dreams that he surely saw her in by his side. 

You also heard the things he said about you when he thought that you were sleeping. You still remember how gut wrenching it felt to hear him say things about you to his ex-girlfriend. 

You huff in silence when his lips curl into a smile and his eyes light up when Nancy throws her head back in laughter. 

God, why are you even here? 

Eddie falls into the seat next to you, throwing his arm around your shoulder. It feels as though a cloud of smoke had followed him because suddenly, the smell of snacks, fresh air and beer is replaced by it, along with the smell of his cologne.

Right. You’re here because of him. You don’t know why he feels the urge to drag you along to every group hang out. No one wants you around, you don’t even think that Robin wants you here, she barely talked to you since you came here. And the longer you sit in Steve’s living room, with an untouched can of coke on the table in front of you, surrounded by people who most likely cannot stand you or your presence, you wish more and more that Jason should have dragged you down with him. 

You don’t belong here, you don’t belong anywhere. 

Eddie takes a look around before he turns to you, the smile still lingering, though turning into a softer one when he notices the frown on your face. 

“What’s wrong, sweets?” 

You shake your head a little, trying to give him a smile, “nothing.” 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks, whispering. 

You wonder if that is the reason why he always wants you around, so he can keep checking up on you, so he can make sure that you are okay, that you are still alive and not lying in some ditch after pushing yourself a little too hard while still recovering from surgery. 

Does he care so much because he knows that no one else would? 

Or does he feel like he owes you something because you helped him when it wasn’t even asked of you? 

You nod, “yeah, I just don’t know why I’m here,” you whisper to him, subtly gesturing to this tight friend group that you don’t fit into. 

Eddie is new to this as well, but unlike you, he’s open and friendly with everyone. He surely isn’t as cheerful as he was weeks back. Just like you, he is still recovering, hiding his inner scars from the face of the earth but still, he is trying. Trying to fit into this, and for him, it’s working, for you? Not so much. 

“Well, you’re here because of me,” he grins, tapping your shoulder. 

You huff but smile, looking down at your hands. 

Yeah, you wouldn’t be here otherwise. 

Had you not gone on a walk that one afternoon a few weeks back, you would have never ran into him. Eddie who had been a wanted man at that time, Eddie who was hiding at skull rock, in drenched clothes and with clattering teeth as he shivered like crazy. You remember how scared he looked when you saw him, how he thought that you would rat him out because at that time, you were nothing but acquaintances to each other. – You bought from him a few times but that was all. He always tried to make small talk, throw a few jokes at you, but at that time, he barely got you to laugh. 

You didn’t believe the rumors on the news, not even for a second, not even when Chrissy used to be a close friend of yours. 

You decided to help him, not knowing what else you were getting yourself into, not knowing that it wasn’t just him involved in a world you hadn’t known of yet, at that time. You got him dry clothes, food and the walkie talkie he had begged you for. 

You never expected Steve Harrington and Dustin Henderson to show up moments later, though. And least of all, you hadn’t expected Max there. It felt like a surreal dream the moment they started explaining everything to you. The moment you found out the truth about Starcourt, about all the deaths in this town, about the lab, about Henry. 

You had only been allowed to be a part of it because of Max, because of your friendship with the girl you had grown protective of, because she let you help. 

The night in the upside down, the night at the Creel house led you here, into this friend group, into Steve’s house where you certainly don’t belong. 

You don’t know what that nagging yet empty feeling in your chest is, if it’s the trauma that is slowly catching up to you or if it’s from watching him watch her, or if you’re just simply having a bad day but it’s making you feel sick and restless, you want the ground to swallow you up. 

You muster up your greatest smile and flash it at Eddie, “yeah, cause you’re my very best friend.”

He snorts at you, hearing the sarcasm in your voice. 

“Your only best friend is Red.” 

You smile at his nickname for Max. 

“Hey Chica, do you wanna smoke this with me?” 

You don’t even pay attention or look up, not until Eddie chuckles and nudges your shoulder, raising his eyebrows at you to look up and when you do, you find Argyle looking at you with a dopey smile on his face as he holds up a blunt to you. 

Without thinking, you get up with a smile on your lips, “is that even a question?” 

It’s been a long time since you have had anything other than medication in your system, you are in dire need of something that will ease your mind and make you feel more than what you are feeling today. 

You fail to notice the disapproving look on Steve’s face, the way he tensely straightens up, slowly getting up as his brows knit together, more and more, watching in disbelief how you make your way over to Argyle. 

“What the hell, Blondie!?” 

His raised voice startles everyone in the room. Robin looks up from the polaroids in her hands, glancing up at her best friend who is staring at you with angry eyes. Nancy and Jonathan turn to look at Steve before they turn to look at what he is glaring at – or who he is glaring at. 

Argyle and Eddie turn to Steve with confusion on their faces. 

And you, you halt in your tracks, and turn back slowly. Caught off guard by the intense look on his face, you freeze. 

“Are you crazy?” 

You open your mouth to speak, though you shut your mouth again when you realize that these words aren’t directed at you, they’re directed at Argyle. 

“She can’t smoke or drink! Her doctor said it loud and clear, and I warned you before!” He points at him. 

You’re taken aback by his anger, by his words. The fact that he remembered when even you, yourself have forgotten about it. You hate the way your heart flutters at that, you hate the way it makes your stomach feel all tingly. You know that it doesn’t mean anything, just because he remembered. 

You see the way Argyle’s face drops and the way he smacks himself on his forehead, “I forgot, I’m sorry, man,” he looks at you, pulling away the blunt he was just about to give to you. “Sorry, he told me… I wasn’t thinking.” He whispers, a little uncomfortably as a funny look takes over his face. 

Steve warned him? 

“Dude, I forgot too, don’t worry about it,” you pat his arm, giving him an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind mother hen over there, he’s overreacting as always.” You say as though you don’t feel your heart racing over Steve’s outburst. 

“And you.” 

You instantly turn to face him, just like everyone else in the room who watches the scene unfold with curiosity and confusion on their faces. 

You meet his hazel eyes, the ones that are still raging. 

“Stop being so fucking careless!” He snaps, pointing his finger at you now. “You’re getting on my goddamn nerves.” 

He places his hands back on his hips, huffing loudly. 

Your cheeks flush under his gaze, you can feel them burning, your heart beating faster and faster. You don’t know how to feel but all you can think about now is the look in his eyes when he realized that he hurt you back at Lucas’s place the other day, the words he had said to you. 

Despite the giddiness inside of you, you hide your feelings behind a smirk. 

“Wow, you do worry about me, Harrington. You weren’t lying.” 

He squints his eyes at you, nodding at your words with another huff. He pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. 

Everyone is looking between the two of you, waiting for the bickering to start, the way it always does, but Steve manages to bite his tongue. 

And you surprise the others by holding back your little remarks. 

“And fucking relax, leave Argyle alone, he isn’t responsible for me and neither are you, Lego head. Go and get high, you need to calm down.” 

Jonathan snorts at the nickname, he throws his head back, chuckling loudly as he mumbles ‘Lego head’. Argyle, who already had one too many drags of the blunt he passed around before, is barely holding himself together, threatening to burst into laughter too. 

Steve shoots Jonathan a glare, pointing at him to shut up. 

Nancy looks down, pressing her lips together with an amused look in her eyes. 

Eddie drinks his beer, hiding the smirk behind the can, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Sit your ass down, Blondie and drink your goddamn coke, don’t even think about weed or–”

“No weed, no beer, just fucking coca cola, got it, mom,” you roll your eyes at him and slump back in your previous seat, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He sighs loudly, sitting back down as well, he crosses his legs, giving you the side eye. 

“Goddamn brat,” he mumbles under his breath. 

“I heard that.” 

“Good,” he snaps at you. 

There is no tension in the room, not even awkwardness after this weird moment. If anything, everyone is still amused. 

“Always bickering like an old married couple,” Eddie snickers. 

Steve glares at him, and you, you would have dug your elbow into his side, but he is wounded and still healing. The band aids on his neck are the evidence that they are still bad. He is hiding him, and you wonder if he always will, you ask yourself if he will hide his pain the way you hide yours. 

You don’t even notice that Robin left the room, only when everyone moves on from what just happened and chatter fills the space again, do you take a look around. You furrow your brows when you find her spot empty. 

Argyle and Jonathan leave the room, stepping out into the garden with Nancy following close behind. 

“Are you still in for tomorrow?” You hear Eddie, directing his question at Steve. 

“Yeah, sure.”

You don’t bother to ask and find out what their plans are. 

Robin walks back into her room, with something in her hand. Her eyes are aimed at you, a smile on her lips when she walks towards you. She hands you a drink, a diet pepsi. 

“Here.” 

Your lips part as you stare at the can for a long moment, blinking. You tilt your chin up, looking up at her with big eyes. 

Her smile falls and a frown takes over, “shit, I thought you liked diet pepsi? Was it original?” 

You shake your head at her, taking the can from her hand, “n-no, it’s diet pepsi.” 

She paid attention to you. 

She smiles at you. 

She felt bad watching you sit there and being unable to drink beer or smoke weed with the others. And she remembers that you always asked for pepsi when you were still in the hospital, you hated the teas there and despised the fact that you were only allowed water. 

“I thought you liked coke, Blondie.”

Robin rolls her eyes at Steve. 

“It’s not my favorite,” you shrug, turning to look at him. “I prefer pepsi.” 

He squints his eyes at you, “so when you stole my coke the other day, you did it just to–”

“Get back at you, yeah. Cause you stole my coffee.” 

“When did he steal your coffee?” Robin asks. 

“When I came to family video to rent a movie–”

“Oh, you little liar,” Steve scoffs at you, “she did not rent a movie, she didn’t even come to look for one.”

A smirk tugs at your lips, if there’s something that you love more than the drink in your hand, it’s to get on his nerves. 

“Says who? I really wanted one but the customer service sucks when this one isn’t around,” you point at Robin. 

Eddie chuckles, turning to look at Steve who is glaring at you, before a smirk appears on his face, his hazel eyes twinkling with smugness. 

“You and I both know that you didn’t want to rent a movie, honey. You were there because you wanted to see me,” he says, cockily as he lets his eyes move from your face, down to your body and back up to meet your eyes. 

Your breath gets caught in your throat at the way he just looked at you. You don’t squirm in your seat, but you surely would if the others weren’t around. You grow flustered beneath his stare but you have come to learn how to hide it – Steve Harrington will never see you blushing over him. 

Maybe he was right, maybe you did just want to see him, because you always do, you always want to see him. No matter how much he hates you, no matter how much he despises you, you can’t help but want him, even if you continue to lie about it to yourself to stay sane. 

Steve Harrington had always been your demise – from the first glance. 

You couldn’t help but grow fascinated with him, watching him from afar with eyes the shape of your favorite sunglasses. You couldn’t help but care for him, even when he couldn’t stand you. 

Sometimes you feel like a creep, watching him and adoring everything about him, from his sun kissed skin, to his beautiful eyes, to his perfect hair, to that one smile that he blesses only those around him that he cares about – something that you will never get. 

Sometimes it’s hard to look into his eyes because every time you do look for a little too long, you feel like dying because suddenly, you see the world with different eyes, you see something beautiful, because he is in it and when you look away, when he is gone, it feels anything but.

Steve wouldn’t even bat an eye if you were gone. He wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t around. 

Suddenly, you feel overwhelmed by the way he looks at you, by his presence, by all of this. You are in his space, you are invading, his home, his friend group, his safe place. The reminder of it, that you don’t belong here, lies heavy on your heart and you feel the urge to run away but you cannot give yourself away so easily, knowing that it would be awfully noticeable if you suddenly left after what he just said. 

So you put on a mask, the way you always do. 

“If that helps you sleep at night,” you smirk, tilting your head at him, “I mean no one else would come to see you, I took pity on you.” 

He clenches his jaw, his smirk falling into a frown. 

“Keep your pity to yourself, Blondie. I’d rather never see you again than see you when I don’t have to.”

You know how he feels about you, you know what he thinks of you, yet every single insult, every jab at you feels like a punch to your gut. But this, this was a punch to your heart. 

You know he wouldn’t grieve you if you died at the Creel house, but to know that he might have felt relieved to never having to see you again, hurts you more than you want to admit. 

“What the hell, man?” Eddie snaps at him as his brown eyes fill with anger at his words. 

Robin rolls her eyes, shaking her head at Steve in disappointment. 

But he keeps his eyes on you, struggling to read you, struggling to look past that smirk that is still going strong. 

“Well, I’ll put you out of your misery, Lego head,” you say as you place the drink on the table before you get up. 

Robin furrows her brows, looking you up and down, “what are you doing?” 

“I’m leaving.” You try not to sound bitter or hurt. “I’m getting tired and I forgot my meds at home.” 

Steve looks away from you, feeling a rush of guilt. 

“I’ll drive you–”

You cut Eddie off, shaking your head at him, “no, I’m gonna walk, I need some fresh air.”

Eddie looks at you worriedly, “sweets, I don’t want you to walk by yourself.”

“Eddie, I’m okay, I don’t get dizzy anymore,” you say, trying to smile at him. “I promise, I’ll call you later tonight.” 

He still looks unsure, not wanting to let you go like this. 

But he can tell that you want to be alone, right now, so despite his worry, he leans back again and nods begrudgingly. 

“Okay..” 

You walk out of the room, biting back the bitterness on your tongue, trying to swallow down the pain. You rush through the hallway and open the door, you only manage to take one step out before you hear footsteps behind you. 

You roll your eyes, knowing that Eddie being the stubborn guy that he is will try to convince you to stay, but when you turn around, it’s not Eddie’s brown eyes that you find yourself looking into, it’s Steve’s and it catches you off guard a little. 

He stops in front of you, his eyes scan your face and he huffs a little when he runs his fingers through his hair. 

If you didn’t know better, you’d think it’s guilt and worry in his eyes. 

You hold onto the door, ready to escape whatever pain he will put you through again.

“Listen uh, that was mean,” he starts, now struggling to look into your eyes. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, tugging at his hair. “I shouldn’t have said that.” 

You blink.

You swallow as you keep on looking at him with smugness, to hide the pain. 

“It’s okay, no need to hide the truth from me, you were just saying what you were feeling, right?” 

He opens his eyes and when he faces you again, he looks at you, really looks at you. He tries to find a hint of pain in your features or hurt in your eyes, but there is nothing. All he can see is the coldness in them. 

Nothing he could ever do or say would hurt you – at least, that is what he believes, what he always believed. 

“Right.” 

You bite the insides of your cheeks. 

“Good,” you nod and you tear your eyes away from him, unable to look at him any longer as you feel your heart cracking more and more.

“Y-You don’t have to go, Blondie.” He stops you once again, holding himself back from taking your hand. 

You slowly turn around and he still struggles to read you, even when you stop smirking, even when you only look at him with a straight face, not saying anything back. 

“But if you want to leave, no one’s gonna stop you.”

You see the indifference in his eyes, the coldness that is only there when he looks at you. 

Yeah, you know no one would. 

How can you care so much about someone that cares so little about you? 

How can you want him so bad when all he wants for you is to disappear? 

How can he worry one second and hate you in the other? 

How can you long for him after every hurtful thing that he said to you? 

You take a step away from him, blinking as you feel your eyes starting to burn. 

“Bye, Steve.” 

You turn around before he can even open his mouth, and you slam the door shut behind you because you don’t want to hear his voice. 

You walk away with tears in your eyes. 

You wish you didn’t come here today, every moment spent with him makes you want him even more, makes you hate yourself even more. 

You don’t go home, no, you can’t stand to be in a house that resembles nothing but loss. 

You turn the other way, towards Hawkins cemetery. 

You just need to vent. 

Even if only into the void. 

♡

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