#but also i live. a half mile from the park and it is LOUD AS FUCK .

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

dude why the FUCK has my city's firework show been going on for four hours

[blushweddinggowns]

When Nancy’s mom pulled her aside one day to ask her a favor, she never thought that it would involve tutoring the Steve Harrington. The basketball starter that had nearly every girl in their high school wrapped around his finger. 

And sure, Mrs. Harrington was offering some really good pay, but that didn’t mean she wanted to do it. Because Steve was…a lot. He was cocky, he was weirdly aggressive when it came to his drug dealer best friend, and if his grades and lack of self-control were anything to go by, he was also dumb as hell. 

Just because he was the hottest guy in school didn’t mean she wanted anything to do with him. But her mom didn’t really give her a choice, not when she had been vying for Mrs. Harrington’s friendship for years.

And that’s how she found herself on the Harrington doorstep on a Sunday, dreading how tedious trying to make someone with no attention span learn was going to be. She rang the doorbell, impatient for the whole thing to just be done with already. 

She was surprised when it was Eddie Munson who answered the door, clad in nothing but boxers and a t-shirt that Nancy was pretty sure belonged to Steve, unless he had been a secret swimming champion in 1982. For a split second she thought she was at the wrong house, until she remembered that Eddie was supposed to be living in a trailer park. 

He ran a hand through his messy hair, not even the slightest bit embarrassed to be caught without pants on at someone else’s house, “Uh, can I help you?”

“I’m here for Steve? Um, I’m his tutor? Nancy Wheeler?” She wasn’t sure why she said her own name like it was a question, but the way Eddie was staring her down had her uncharastically nervous. 

But his eyes brightened at the word tutor. He stepped aside to let her in, “Oh yeah! He told me that was today, I guess we just lost track of time. Wait here. I’ll go get him. You want a muffin? I literally just made them, unless you're allergic to chocolate? But if you’re not they’re like, really good, my uncle’s recipe so you can trust it.”

He was talking a mile a minute as he led her into the house, happy in a way she never would have expected from him. In school he was so…defensive. Always willing to cut down anyone who made a comment about his weird sense of style. And there was also the little known fact that he sold freaking ketamine in the woods behind school with a small history of violence and theft. She kind of thought that the drug dealer whose wardrobe half consisted of skulls wouldn’t be the type of guy to bake muffins. 

But that didn’t mean she didn’t want one. 

“Um, sure?” She said, jumping a little when Eddie suddenly tossed one her way. 

Before she could even say thank you he was two-stepping his way up the stairs, whistling a tune that Nancy couldn’t help but smile at. If Eddie Munson could be so nice, then the odds of Steve turning out to not be a total dick were looking pretty good.

She could hear him slam a door open upstairs, voice loud and obnoxious, “Time to wake up sunshine! You got some learning to do!”

Nancy wandered over to the stairs as she ate, happily surprised at just how good it was. She couldn't hear much else, just a few groans and some shuffling, then something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle before the two of them made their way back downstairs. 

Steve was just as disheveled as Eddie was, hair a mess as he blearily blinked into the light, like it wasn’t already noon. He at least had the decency to put on pants though, something that Eddie had decided was superfluous. 

He waved at her as they came down, at least apologetic, “Hi, I’m Steve. Sorry about that. I was up late last night doing- I mean watching movies. Kind of let the day get away from me a little bit.”

He put out his hand for Nancy to shake and she couldn’t help but notice just how big they were. She took it, suddenly a little flustered as she spoke, “Nancy. And we’ve uh, actually met before. Believe it or not.”

Steve blinked at her, mind obviously racing to try and figure out when he’d seen her before, “Please don’t tell me we used to date.”

“No we didn’t but- wait. You don’t remember all the girls you’ve dated?” Nancy raised a brow at him, suddenly a lot less impressed. Just how big of a player was this guy?

But at least he had the good grace to look embarrassed, “I-well, it’s not like that. I-”

Eddie put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him in the midst of his stuttering sentence, “Stevie, stop while you're ahead. Now go get some food so your brain can actually function.”

Surprisingly, Steve obeyed, just like that. He just nodded and puttered into the kitchen, leaving Eddie and Nancy to follow him. 

Eddie leaned over, stage-whispering in her ear, “He’s usually a lot more charming after he’s been conscious for more than 5 minutes. I swear.”

They rounded the corner, just in time to see Steve eat half a muffin in one bite. He moaned at the taste of it, and Nancy was suddenly blushing for the second time in one day. 

He smiled at Eddie, hearts in his eyes, “How are you so good at everything?”

Nancy was starting to understand why her mom always said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. If she didn’t know any better she’d say that Steve was seconds away from asking Eddie to ride into the sunset together. 

Eddie shrugged, even though his face was positively pleased. Steve finished the rest of it with a dreamy sigh, eyes still locked on Eddie.

“God, I love-” Steve coughed mid sentence, and for a second Nancy was sincerely worried that he had managed to choke on a piece of muffin. But the next moment he was fine, glancing over at her before straightening, “Uh, when my parents are gone. You can eat anything you want. Thanks for making them dude.”

Eddie snorted, barely managing to keep his laughter inside, “No problem, dude. But now that you're functioning I’ll let you guys get to it. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

Nancy wasn’t sure just what they would need him for, but Steve nodded anyway. It was almost weird, just how comfortable Eddie was in his house. She had half expected him to leave after he dragged Steve downstairs, especially since it was a school night, but the way he sprawled himself out on the couch said otherwise. 

They set themselves up at the kitchen table, Nancy with their biology book in hand and Steve with a second muffin. She cracked her book open, internally preparing herself for an afternoon of frustration. So imagine her surprise when none came. 

Because Steve Harrington was nothing like she expected. He wasn’t some undiscovered genius or anything, but he was diligent. He didn’t try to make a move on her, which her friends had definitely warned her about when they first heard she was tutoring him. He never got mad when he didn’t understand something, or even impatient. If anything he was just apologetic, a constant barrage of I’m sorry coming out of his mouth whenever he got something wrong that she already explained.

It was endearing to say the least. He even offered to drive her home after. She hadn’t realized that the offer included Eddie poking at him from the back seat and complaining about the music the whole ride home, but still. It was a nice gesture. 

When her mom asked her how it went she didn’t even have to lie. It went great. Not even on the whole he wasn’t a dick side of things. He was making ground when it came to his schoolwork, he just needed a little bit of extra attention. 

She found herself laying in bed that night with a smile on her face, more than excited to see Steve again. Maybe they’d even manage to get a little alone time, just so she could get to know him a bit better.

For strictly tutoring reasons, of course. 

~

Part 1.5 Part 2 Part 3

From an unpublished chapter of this fic (But I'll probably add part two and the reveal here because it kind of works with tumblr formatting!)

[loverboykirstein]

a sinner at heart /// kinktober pt. 1

geto suguru x afab!reader

wc: 6,080

mdni -> warnings: drinking, talk of religion/purity, insecurity (also apologize for the text message section pls forgive me)

***You just shrugged, trying to swallow the nerves and unending guilt seeping into your heart. 

Watching as the other four around you engaged in conversation about school and awful professors, you spaced out and twisted the ring on your finger. 

You felt those eyes on you again, yet you forced yourself to ignore them.***

November 7, 8:46 pm. 

Pushing on your e-brake after a few tries at parking on the street, you turned your car off and sat in silence. 

Driving two hours south, remembering every crossroad and stoplight until you reached the campus outskirts. 

Shoko was your other half for over ten years, torn apart in early August over college decisions. Against your will, your parents forced you to attend the same college your mother did, an all-women’s Christian school two hours north. 

She stayed close to home, attending the state school you wished you could have gone to. 

In the span of four months, you felt your ties begin to fall loose, grip slipping on what once was inseparable friendship. 

Raised polar opposites, you worried things would play out like this. She wasn’t restricted by the confines of religion and curfews, expectations of purity and innocence. Being watched at nearly every angle, only free on the nights spent at her house. 

You were riddled with guilt every time, knowing you shouldn’t have disobeyed. 

Yet here you stood, two hours away from the dorm your parents believed you were in, certain you were still a rule-following girl, keeping your grades and in bed by nine. 

But for the first time, you were at a random house two hours south, for a birthday party you were invited to two days prior. 

Three deep breaths, a small black gift bag, and the lump in your throat, you opened your door and decided there was no going back. 

Too many cars were parked outside, more wrapped around the block.  Seriously? 

��The door was already propped open, music you didn’t recognize playing from whole house speakers. 

A few dozen faces you didn’t recognize, nothing you imagined it would be. Underdressed, underprepared. You could tell from a mile away that you had never been to a college party, or any party for that matter. 

“There she is!” Your beloved brunette threw her arms around you, smelling of bottom shelf liquor and cigarettes. “I missed you,”. 

The comfort of her arms and the smell of cigarettes was enough to make you feel safer, calmer than you were alone in the doorway. 

“I missed you too,” you wrapped your arms back around her, squeezing her a little tighter. “You undersold the size of all…this,”. 

“To be fair, I had no idea. This was all Gojo’s doing,” she pulled back, taking you in. You looked the same, so did she. The only difference was her hair being a smidge longer than you remembered. 

“Who?” You tilted your head, stomach dropping at the notion of her new friends. You knew she had them, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. 

“C’mon,” she grabbed your free hand, ushering you through the small groups of people talking far too loud for your liking. 

You followed her down a hallway, dimly lit and seemingly endless. Met with a smaller version of the living room, carpet floors and brand new furniture. A group of five sat around each other on the floor, backs rested on whatever furniture was closest to them. 

A few people you’d recognized from her instagram were scattered about, the girls whispering and pointing towards the two boys sitting next to each other, seemingly polar opposites. 

One with piercing blue eyes, only visible when his sunglasses slipped down his face just a little. Sunglasses inside? 

The one next to him had his hair pulled back tightly into a bun, better than you could ever do on your own. A few pieces in the front hung on his face, trimmed perfectly and shiny despite being so dark. 

One of those has to be her boyfriend, right? 

Another girl sat adjacent, long hair pulled to either side over her shoulders, bangs just above her eyebrows. 

A blonde boy with hair that was fit for 2006 covered one side of his face, sat next to the happiest brunette boy you had ever seen. 

Complete opposites, yet you could see the blonde blush every time the ball of sunshine next to him spoke. 

“Finally, the maiden has arrived,” she bowed jokingly, slightly upset that you were a little later than expected. I’m sorry, it took me thirty minutes to actually leave in the first place.  

“Y/N? Huh, you really do exist,” the blue-eyed boy stood, offering you his hand. “I’m Gojo,” he smiled, dropping his sunglasses enough for you to get a good look at his eyes. 

“You planned this whole thing, right?” You looked around, cheap liquor bottles on the entertainment center, solo cups and a sharpie next to them. 

“He went overboard,” the boy who sat next to him adjusted as he sat back down, shooting him the most annoyed look you had ever seen. He gets it. 

“I see that,” you laughed under your breath, glued to Shoko like your life depended on it. 

“Since they won’t do it,” Shoko rolled her eyes, glaring at them. “That’s Nanami,” she pointed to the blonde, too lost in his own thoughts to realize what was happening. “That’s Haibara,” the puppy-dog boy waved, also clueless to your existence until his name was said. 

The other girl, timid in nature, waved at you without a word. “That’s Utahime,”. 

You nodded, waving at all of them politely. 

“C’mere, we have some catching up to do,”. Grabbing your hand once again, she drug you out to the back patio without giving you a choice. 

“Two agendas for the night, and I might need your help,” she looked you dead in the eyes, the most serious you had seen her in a long time. “Well, three. But I only need your help with two,”. 

“Okay?” scared of what she was about to say, and even more scared about the one she wouldn’t speak about. 

“One, we’re getting Nanami to confess to Haibara. Suguru said he’s been oddly attached to him since high school,”. 

“Suguru?” I’m assuming it was the boy with dark hair who sat next to Gojo. 

“The annoyed one with the bun,” she rolled her eyes. “Sorry. Anyways, objective two. I’m trying to see if Utahime's into girls,”. 

“Okay? Why?” I don’t think that really matters, I’m sure she would tell you if she wanted to? 

“I like her, dumbass,”. She sighed, looking at you like you had nothing behind your skull. 

“You like girls, and I’m just finding out about this?” 

“I-”. She sighed, now avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t know I did until I met her. It’s eating me alive, dude,”. 

“Okay, well,”. You felt awkward still holding the gift bag, wishing you had set it down inside. “Two objectives then,” you collected yourself, not sure how you were going to get any of that to actually happen. 

“What’s the third one?”. The thought was eating you alive, uncomfortable with not knowing everything. 

“That one is a secret, trust,” she winked at you, before you were tugged back inside. 

You set the bag behind the bottles, hiding it slightly hoping that a stranger wouldn’t take it on their way out. 

“Here,”. Utahime handed you a cup with your name written on it, filled with something you weren’t familiar with. “It’s vodka, orange juice and sprite,”. 

“Oh, thank you,”. You offered her a warm smile, trying to hide the fact that you had only drunk liquor once, right before you said your goodbyes and left home. 

“Sit,”. Shoko patted the spot next to her, filling the space between her and Nanami. Directly across from Gojo and Suguru, avoiding the eyes you could feel burning into your flesh from one of them. 

You obliged wordlessly, trying not to wince at the heavy pour sitting in your cup. 

“King’s cup?” She asked, more demanding than questioning. 

“On it,” Nanami responded before she was done speaking, standing up quickly, looking for a brief escape. 

“What’s king’s cup?” You whispered into her ear, trying not to make it obvious. 

“Just watch, you’ll get the hang of it,” She swayed slightly side to side, nearly bumping into you each time. 

You kept your mouth shut as she recapped the rules for everyone, shuffling the deck of cards. 

2, you. 3, me. 4, floor. 5, guys. 6, girls. 7, heaven. 8, date. 9, rhyme. 10, categories. Jack, thumbs. Queen, questions. King, rule. First card to pop the tab and that person has to down it. 

That’s a lot of rules. I don’t know what half of them mean. 

You pulled out your phone, looking up the rules so you wouldn’t forget, turning your brightness down as low as possible. 

“I’ll start!” She excitedly grabbed the first card from the deck, a 5. “Drink bitches,” she laughed, sliding the card gently under the tab. 

Turns went clockwise, leaving you last. 

Utahime pulled an ace. 

“Fuuuuck,” Shoko groaned, knowing she was the last one. Luckily, Utahime didn’t take forever, her drink running out before long. It was painful, consuming your drink faster than you wanted to. 

You planned on driving back tonight, one drink at most. I have a feeling I’ll be leaving a lot later than I want to. 

Suguru went next, pulling an 8. With a slight smirk on his face, he placed the card down, eyes glaring into you. “Y/N, you have some catching up to do,”. 

The most you could do was laugh under your breath, shaking at the fact you would have to keep eyes on him at all times from now on to avoid any extra attention. 

Within a single rotation, you had all had downed a minimum of two drinks, another bottle down as Utahime poured heavier each time. 

You pretended to drink a few times, before Shoko caught you on the next waterfall round. 

Faster than you expected, the world began to slow just slightly, enough to make you panic just a little. 

Nanami placed his card under the tab, a slight pop from the millimeters pushed under the tab. Wordlessly, he pulled the cards away, opening it all the way and downing it much faster than you would have. 

**** 

10:49 pm. 

Your vision was beginning to become fuzzy, hands trembling under the pressure of a game of truth or dare, suggested by the birthday girl nonetheless. This is our chance to check off those objectives. 

It started slow, general questions that eased everyone into confessing things they had never spoken about before. Who they lost their virginity to, who was their first love, their deepest fears, showing their search history, their preferred porn. 

While Shoko was busy interrogating Gojo, Nanami leaned his head on your shoulder, whispering to you. 

“Can I ask you something?” His voice was timid, unsure and barely noticeable. You nodded your head, and he pulled out his phone. “Number,” he urged his phone towards you, the low battery notification popping up before you could type. 

Adding your contact, he immediately texted you, your phone open and awaiting his message. 

Saving his contact right away before you forgot, you read the message he sent, somehow without a single grammatical issue. 

nanami 

Do you think Haibara likes me? 

As more than friends? Am I 

crazy? Or just drunk? 

Don’t tell anyone else. 

Please. 

y/n

If you like him drunk, you like him 

sober as well. 

Do you want me to try and ask 

him? 

Or something else? 

nanami

Maybe? I just don’t know. 

What am I supposed to do? 

y/n 

I’ll help you, just trust me, 

okay? 

He nodded his head, still hanging on your shoulder. You didn’t mind, feeling a little more grounded knowing he trusted you, at least in his drunken state, with such a serious question. 

y/n

Pick dare when I get it next. 

I’ll help you out. 

Again, he just nodded, fidgeting with his hands before sitting upright. You still felt eyes on you, deciding to meet them with your alcohol-induced confidence you had never felt before. 

Geto’s eyes met yours as you raised your head, unblinking and filled with something you quite couldn’t place. Weighted in jealousy, mixed with lust, eyebrow raised in annoyance. You couldn’t figure out what he was feeling, never met with this before. 

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Shoko asked you through slurred words, cheeks flushed. 

“Truth,”. I’m too scared to pick dare. 

“Have you lost your virginity yet?” Her smile was a little dirtier than you’ve ever seen, eyes glued to the ring on your finger. It physically pulled you back, your spine pushed into Nanami’s shoulder. You bitch. You know the answer to this. 

Do I lie? No, lying’s bad. My ring gives it away, but do they all know what it means? 

You sat there in deafening silence, everyone’s eyes glued to you. 

“Not yet,”. You mumbled, turning your body towards Nanami instead of pressing against it. “Nanami, truth or dare?” 

You watched as he battled his response, wanting to trust you but still scared. Looking at Shoko who had just come out of the storage closet with Utahime before asking you a question, Geto trying to stir the pot without knowing it was what she wanted all along. 

Her face was flushed, Utahime’s far more red than hers. Both of their lips were slightly swollen, a little glossier than before.

“Dare,” his eyes were glued into yours, unblinking and terrified. 

“I dare you to do what Shoko and Utahime just did with Haibara,” you felt sick as the words spilled out of your mouth, unsure how else to get them to talk away from the rest of us. 

You watched as they looked at each other, both faces running red. 

“C’monnnnn,” Shoko egged them on, body leaning into Utahime. 

Haibara stood, offering his hand to Nanami as he did so. 

He shot you a horrified look, unsure what to think of you anymore. 

y/n 

Just ask him. You don’t have to 

actually do anything. 

I believe in you. 

You watched him glance at your message, eyes softening just a little. 

“You’re a little instigator,” Shoko pushed you, as if she had nothing to do with the situation. I would have never done that if you didn’t have a certain agenda. Don’t blame this on me. 

You just shrugged, trying to swallow the nerves and unending guilt seeping into your heart. 

Watching as the other four around you engaged in conversation about school and awful professors, you spaced out and twisted the ring on your finger. 

You felt those eyes on you again, yet you forced yourself to ignore them. You didn’t know what he wanted, but you weren’t about to figure it out. 

5 minutes later, Gojo knocked on the door, ready to continue the game before he got too bored. 

The two emerged with slight smiles glued to their faces, red blushes across their noses and slightly tousled hair. Holy shit. That actually worked? 

As if nothing happened, you zoned out as a few more dares ran around the circle, no one picking truth anymore. 

“Suguru, truth or dare,” Shoko was completely slurring her words, head fully rested in Utahime’s lap. 

“Dare,” he answered without a second to waste, catching your attention. 

“Closet, you and y/n,” she insisted, instead of just daring. 

What? Excuse me? 

You’ve got to be kidding me. 

“Let’s go,” he nodded his head towards the now open door, awaiting you to stand in turn. 

You agreed wordlessly, knowing this was something you couldn’t back out of. Shooting terrified eyes at Shoko, who only winked at you in turn, mumbling nothing to the boys with still flushed faces. This was fucking objective number three. 

A click of a door being shut, closer in proximity than you had ever been with a man. 

“Don’t look so scared, it’s okay,” his voice was beautiful, smooth and steady. His head was tilted slightly, face flushed and lips wet with bottom shelf liquor. 

You couldn’t do anything but nod, terrified but refusing to show it. He’s gonna think I’m an idiot. 

He kept his eyes glued on yours, making sure you were still okay with his lips centimeters from yours. 

“Shoko never told us she had such a pretty friend,” you could feel his lips curl into a smile before pressing them into yours. 

You didn’t reject, worried you would cause an issue. 

His lips grew needier, his hand caressing the side of your face. 

An unfamiliar feeling pooled under your jeans, skin running hot. 

What the fuck is going on? 

Following his lead, you just kissed him back, trying your best to match his rhythm. 

Is this a sin? 

What else am I supposed to do?

His hand trailed down your body, until his fingers were digging into your hips, trying to pull you even closer. 

“Alright don’t make me an aunt!”  Shoko knocked on the door, scaring you straight out of your skin. 

“We’re not finished yet,” he whispered in your ear before opening the door. 

What the hell just happened? I shouldn’t have come. 

The rest of the night was a blur, watching as Shoko grew closer and closer to Utahime with each drink, unsure how they could get any closer without stripping, Nanami and Haibara the same. Gojo passed out mid-conversation, words fumbling over each other. 

Your thoughts spun at a million miles an hour, still trying to comprehend what you let him do to you. 

You don’t remember much else, now sitting outside by yourself in the backyard. You bummed one of Shoko’s cigarettes, wondering why she loved them so much. 

In turn, they just made you sick. 

****

November 8, 2:15 am. 

Sitting on the bathroom tiles, the world was spinning just a little too slowly. 

Too many drinks, that single cigarette pushing you over the edge.  

Your blood content was so much higher than the legal limit, leaving you stuck and frustrated . 

So much for driving back tonight. 

You stood up, mindlessly running your hands under cool water. 

I just need to eat something. I should be good then. Right? That’s how that works, right?

You opened the bathroom door quietly, trying to find your way to the kitchen without tripping over anything, or anyone for that matter.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to run away,” a sickly sweet voice crawled up the side of your neck, sticking to your nerves like honey. Suguru. 

“Why does it matter? Don’t tell me you’re attached already,” you didn’t turn to face him, worried the bite in your voice would falter with eye contact, getting stuck behind the lump in your throat. We are not losing our virginity on a one night stand, are you serious? That’s a blatant sin. There’s no coming back from that. 

“So what if I am?” He peppered light kisses on your exposed shoulder, trailing up towards your ear at an excruciatingly slow pace. 

As if he had your body attached to strings you were unable to control, your head tilted slightly, exposing more of your burning skin to him as an apology. 

“C’mere,” he grabbed your hand, gentle in force but demanding in aura. 

Following behind him without a choice, his body blocking any light that could be radiating in front of him. 

Your thoughts were spinning a million miles an hour, caught between the devil on one side and the angel on the other. 

A twist of a handle, the switch of a light. Of course there’s a spare bedroom. 

Before you could open your mouth, he dimmed the light with a dial by the switch, just light enough to see what was right in front of you. 

He pulled you in, quietly shutting the door and locking it behind you. “Don’t tell me you don’t wanna finish what we started,”. He twisted a lock of your hair in his fingers, as if he knew you wouldn’t say no to him. 

It’s not that I don’t want to, I just… Is this right? Was this Shoko’s plan all along? How do I come back from this?

“And if I do?” What am I saying? I know nothing about this man. Why is the devil taking over? Is it the liquor? 

Without even trying, your back was against the wall, the only thing visible were his sadistic eyes peering down at you. One hand on each side right above your head, the smell of his cologne the only thing you could focus on. 

As if the universe would shatter if he waited another moment, his lips crashed onto yours, stealing the small amount of air from your lungs. 

Your index fingers found  their way to his belt loops, unconsciously pulling his body closer to yours. 

Your lips remembered each other like they were made for one another, working in perfect harmony. Tongues grazing over one another, his still saturated in the sweetness of Utahime’s makeshift bartending, yours cursed with the slight taste of cigarettes stuck in your mouth. 

He tugged on your bottom lip, eyes meeting yours before he let go. The space felt cold, felt wrong without his lips glued to yours. 

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he whispered, trailing his tongue up the side of your neck. His breath was heavy, it was needy. 

It felt like an eternity, his lips centimeters from your ear, your brain melted by the heat his body provided alone. 

“Prove to me that this is gonna be worth my time,” you swallowed your doubts and filled it with false confidence, hoping he wouldn’t see right through your blatant facade. 

Shaky hands, unsteady breathing, inability to figure out where to even put your hands. 

What the hell am I doing? 

You felt him laugh quietly against you, his hands moved to your hips, pulling you away from the wall. 

A few blinded steps and he was looming over you, back pushed into the plush of the comforter. Your lungs were in your throat, your heart was somewhere missing on the floor behind you. 

“I knew I’d get to ruin you,” he uttered under his breath, eyes so dark the hair on the back of your neck stood up. 

He’s an entirely different man like this. A sinner at heart. 

Without a second to waste, he stole any air you had lingering behind your swollen lips, hand trailing down your body. 

As if it was primordial second nature, you began to ache waiting for something more. His hand danced around your clothed cunt, knowing he had you in his hands like putty. 

It took every ounce of strength you had not to buck your hips into him, to fill your lust for warmth to meet the puddle you had since created in a moment’s notice. 

He unbuttoned them with the same hand, tugging on the zipper without faltering his rhythm with your tongue. 

He slipped his hand under the waistband of your underwear, not bothering to undress you any further. His fingertips were freezing against the claustrophobic heat your untouched sex had created. 

His middle finger gently danced around your already puffy folds, your breath hitching with every faint movement. With gentle repetitive circles, his thumb found your clit with ease, faster than you would have found it yourself. 

“You’ve never been touched, have you?” his words were slightly slurred, voice lower than it was when you had met him. It was thick, it was overwhelming. A smirk had crawled onto his face, wheels spinning behind his blacked out eyes. 

You shook your head, unable to form coherent words as his fingers sped up, thumb keeping pace while his middle and ring danced around your entrance. 

He watched you ache for his fingers inside you, desperate for more. The need for sin outweighing your guilty conscience. 

He watched your eyes roll back as he slipped just his middle finger inside you, drawing illicit whimpers out of the bottom of your lungs. 

“Shhhhh, if you can’t be quiet I’ll have to stop,” he sped up, enjoying the struggle present in your widened eyes and bitten lip. 

Without warning he slipped another in, tighter than you imagined it would be. You watched his tongue glide across his top teeth, nearly drooling at the sight of such an untouched body being tainted by the minute. 

With a quick release, he pulled his fingers out of you and you watched as he put them both in his mouth, a sinister laugh bubbling in his throat. 

“I knew you’d taste good,” he grabbed the waist of your jeans, yanking them off of you before you could agree. 

The air was frigid, far colder than the tips of his fingers just were. Yet your skin burned against it, your scalding blood fighting against the air for god knows what reason. 

You watched him pull his shirt over his head with one single move, tossing it beside your head. Without breaking eye contact for a split second, you watched as he fell to his knees, littering kisses down the plush of your thighs, slowly pushing your legs further apart. 

Before you fell down into the depths of self-consciousness, begging for you to cover up and never let his face get that close, you felt his heavy breath against your throbbing clit, his eyes still glued to your face. 

Terrified to forget what you tasted like, he released any restraints he had on his desires. Covering your mouth with one hand, gripping the bedding with the other, the rutting of your hips was out of your control. 

Too drunk on his repetitive motions, pressure making your core ache in need for more. Too drunk on him drinking up your innocence, savoring it for the rest of eternity. 

“M-More,” you whined as quietly as possible, praying he would grant your wish. 

“More what? Use your words,” he came up for air, face flushed and his hair beginning to fall from the tight bun he wore so effortlessly. 

“I-I just need m-” you cut yourself off, hand over mouth to stifle the whimpers his fingers drug out of you as he awaited your response. Head cocked to the side, toying with you as long as he could. 

“Suguru please,” you whined through gritted teeth, not exactly sure what it was you needed, praying he could figure it out before the ache became utterly unbearable. 

He rose from his knees, crawling on top of you, worried he could hear your heartbeat on the way up. 

“One more time,” he tilted your chin to look directly at him, thumb swiping over your lower lip. 

“Please, I’ll do anything,” you whined, looking up at him with innocently pleading eyes. 

His hand fell from your face, the only sound was his belt being undone. Placing it beside his shirt, just within arms reach. 

You watched as the veins in his arm strained with every movement, the shadow of the dim lighting caressing every inch of him. 

His jeans hit the floor, leaving him less dressed than you were. He was beautiful, not an imperfection in sight. 

He stood tall, pupils dark and lips glossy. He was strong, toned, completely out of your league. 

Does he actually want to do this with me? 

Surely there’s no way a man like him would really want anything to do with me. 

“Take it off,” he tugged at the hem of your shirt, demanding not asking. You obliged, sitting up enough to slide it over your head. “That too,” his eyes were glued to your chest, the only part of you still covered. 

You felt utterly exposed, as if he was able to see the blood flowing inside your veins. Unclasping the back of your bra, you slid it off your shoulders, awaiting further instruction. 

“Good girl,” he gently pushed you back down where you were, feet still dangling off the edge of the mattress. Two words made your core flutter, searching for something to hold on to. 

Your heartbeat was in your ears, ringing loud enough that you couldn’t even hear your own breathing. Pushing your thighs apart, pulling a gold foil package open with his teeth. 

You felt the burn as he slowly tried to slip inside you, struggling against the resistance of your unrelaxed muscles. 

“Relax, it’s okay,”. He cupped your cheek, a small effort to try and settle inside. His words were gentle, his eyes spoke otherwise. 

The glimmer of sin was stuck on you, shimmering with each welcomed inch. Wincing at each attempt, yet yearning for him to be swallowed up by you. 

“F-fuck,” he stuttered under his breath, tilting his chin toward the ceiling. “S-so fucking tight,”. His words were strained, trying his very best not to just rut his hips into you and bottom out as fast as he could. 

“M-more,” you practically whispered, scared of the consequences. You knew it would hurt, but the electricity shooting through every fiber of your being blurred your fears. 

Without a second of hesitation he slammed his hips into yours, dragging out an uncontrollable moan laced with pain. 

“Be fucking quiet,” his hand found your throat, restricting bloodflow just enough to make you feel dizzy.  

You nodded in obedience, his fingers pushing harder with each slam of your cervix. Your own hand covered your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the speed of light. 

Despite his urge to be quiet, the sound of your virginity being stolen could be heard three doors down. Sliding in and out as if he belonged inside you, a key inside a lock freeing you from the confines of purity. 

You forced your eyes from rolling, catching a glimpse of him restraining his own moans, jaw so tight you swore it might shatter any second. 

The nails of your free hand left crescent moon indents in him, dragging down into nearly bleeding scratches along his perfect skin. 

His hair falling in his face, a slight sheen of sweat, glistening off of him in the dimmed overhead light. His eyes were wide, pupils larger than you’d ever seen. 

“Flip over,” he nearly growled, not giving you a choice or a second to think. The side of your face pushed into the mattress, one of his hands forcing your arch higher. 

With fistfuls of bedding, your eyebrows cinched in hopes your lungs wouldn’t cause you to disobey. Slight whimpers caught in your throat, audible if you were close enough. 

The rhythmic slam of his hips against your ass were louder than your muffled whimpers, his breathing so hard you swore his lungs might explode. 

Only able to support yourself on the tips of your toes, a knot forming tighter than you could control tearing with each bruise of your cervix. 

An unfamiliar feeling, overwhelming beyond compare. A loss of feeling in your fingertips, a cold sweat settling against your spine, a product of the sheer electricity vibrating your bones. 

Your legs began to shake, your vision blurred as you tried to keep your cries inside, tangled in the unraveled rope inside you. 

Unconsciously pushing yourself into him, fingers nearly breaking from your grip on the comforter your face had become familiar with. 

“I didn’t say you could finish,” he whispered with a bite in his voice, sinister enough to send a shiver of guilt down to your toes. 

Without a second to waste, his hand that was once pushing your lower back into the edge of the mattress found its way up the nape of your neck, grabbing a handful of hair from their roots. 

Using his leverage, he pulled your body closer to his, cutting off more oxygen than his grip on your throat did. 

He slowed his pace, dragging his movements enough to drive you mad. 

“You will beg next time, understand?” His grip tightened, not giving you a chance to deny his rule. 

With more force than before, he slammed into you without any regard for your own comfort. Your cunt was swollen, violated for minutes on end relentlessly. 

Your hips ached, his grip stronger than you imagined, compression with every declaration of ownership. 

The only thing suppressing your cries was the sheer lack of oxygen, eyes forced to the plain ceiling above you. You could feel his heavy breathing scorching your neck, tipping you over the edge. 

He hit a new angle, one you didn’t know existed. It forced the unraveled knot inside you to tie once again, stronger and painful to keep contained. 

“S-Su-Suguru please,” you begged in strained whispers, eyes shut so hard colored spots appeared behind your eyes. 

“Please what?” he taunted, hearing the sadistic smile formed on his lips. 

“P-Please,” your voice was strained enough you weren’t sure if you could beg without letting the neighborhood know his name. Without letting everyone know the last bit of your innocence was gone, losing it to someone you had met hours before. “Please let me finish,”. 

“Not yet, you haven’t earned it,” he growled in your ear, primal in nature.  

He shoved you back into the mattress, grip released from your hair in relief. 

You heard the metal of his belt, your hands forced behind your back. Without a second to waste, your wrists were losing feeling from the  grip of makeshift handcuffs. 

With an increase in pace, you could feel your insides snapping in half, his fingers finding your swollen bud. One hand held the center of the belt, yanking your arms back just enough so that you couldn’t resist anything at all. He drew circles on your clit with his free hand, elicit sounds from your previous orgasm gliding him in with more ease than before. 

Muffled noises crawled their way out, losing control of your lungs in a blurred state of overstimulation. Unable to control anything, trembling under the weight of too many heightened senses. 

Your eyes welled with saltwater, burning your lash line as your throat felt as if it was closing. The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears, blood clouding your brain as your face flushed red. 

You felt the last of your purity slip away, him taking it as you finished in unison. He didn’t try and stifle your pleas, too focused on his own release he had been restraining from the beginning. 

Your knees collapsed as he slid out of you, cold and vacant as his body slipped away. 

Completely lost, you laid exactly where you were, unable to get out of the belt handcuffs. 

“Oh fuck, sorry,” he apologized, voice smooth once again. Quickly releasing you, he watched as you rubbed your free wrists, aching from the stiff leather. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you tried to fix your hair, flyaways everywhere. Your throat was dry, an ache settling in every single bone. 

“C’mon,” he helped you stand, walking the few short steps to the bathroom tucked inside. 

He helped you clean up, gently placing your shirt back over you as you struggled with unsteady hands. 

He left you alone to grab some filtered water from the kitchen, running cold tap water over your hands in the bathroom to calm yourself down. 

Smudged mascara, swollen lips, a vacant look in your eyes. Purity ring slipping off of your trembling hands, a reminder that you no longer could adorn that sign of innocence anymore. 

Pulling the ring off of your finger, you found your way back to the bed, crashing at the speed of sound between dead adrenaline and sheer lack of brainpower. 

Placing the ring on the nightstand beside you, you searched for your phone, fallen on the floor in the heat of the moment. 

4 am, fucking fantastic. 

A lack of notifications, other than a text from your roommate asking when you would be coming back. 

“Here,” he appeared out of thin air, handing you a glass of water with a few ice cubes floating inside. 

“Thank you,” you almost whispered, the ache now settling in your vocal cords.

He tucked you into bed, ensuring you were okay, leaving the light dim incase you needed anything. 

What happens now? Can we ever see each other again? 

**** 

“Fucking hell,” you rubbed your forehead, light from the early November sun shining through the partially cracked blinds. 

You felt around for your water, downing it like you hadn’t had a drink in days. Placing the cup back on the nightstand, you found a note tucked under your phone. 

That ring is mine now. Call me sometime. 

Suguru 

His number was scribbled on the bottom, a smiley face drawn next to it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

tysm for checking this out! this has been on my ao3 for quite some time, but was encouraged to post here for our silly little month of october. ᥫ᭡。

also, thank @justwolosers for getting me back to this <3

[idontlikeem]

a house near me exploded the other day.

i'm visiting my parents, and on saturday we were at the arboretum we always go to when we heard this absolutely massive explosion. louder than any gunshot, any firework—we couldn't figure out what it was. maybe someone's shitty homemade m80, and they'd somehow snuck it into the park and let it off super close to us? it was unsettling. i haven't heard a bang that loud ever. my first fleeting thought was that it was a bomb or something, but i dismissed it because that's stupid.

later that night we found out that a house just about a half-mile from where we were exploded. the pictures are shocking. it's completely gone, and there's wood splinters everywhere, and in the up-close pictures you can make out a few things: a picture, a poster, what maybe was the cover of a book or something. there are fires burning underground, and the house is just gone.

nobody was hurt. the neighbors said the family who lives there. lived there. they were on vacation, and nobody was even home. the houses next door had some damage from debris, some of their doors blew in, but everyone is fine.

it was a natural gas buildup, i guess. something that if someone had been home, they would have smelled the additive in the methane and gotten out of the house and called someone before the levels built up beyond their pressure point. it's so good that everyone is safe, but if they'd been home it wouldn't have even happened.

they were out of town, and because they weren't there, their entire life is gone. everything they've ever had has been literally blown to smithereens. it doesn't exist anymore, not any of it.

and it happened so fast, but also not really. the explosion was fast, and it was complete. but the reason behind it built up for days and days.

i just can't stop thinking about it. everything in their lives, gone in a second that started a week ago.

[typicalopposite]

81 Destiel

Helloooo! :) ahhh! This was so fun to write! I hope you enjoy it :)

Feel the Rain on Your Skin

He had told Cas they needed to be quick. 

He had told him when it was taking the angel-turned-human a ridiculous amount of time to find a shirt to wear out; as if they weren’t only going to the supermarket. He had told him when it was taking him a ridiculous amount of time to pick the ingredients for dinner; “Cas, come on man, we gotta go… just get a normal cucumber. Sam will live without it being organic.” 

He had told Cas over and over, and yet they still didn’t beat the rain. 

“Dammit!” Dean muttered under his breath as they watched the rain pummel the blacktop of the parking lot. He looked out at Baby and sighed. 

The driver’s window crank had been broken for about a month, but with the whole Cas rescue and adjusting to life with him back and (once again) human — not to mention the adjustment of feeling like they were now, kinda, maybe, somewhat more than what they were before the Empty took him — Dean just hadn’t gotten around to fixing it. Now it was stuck fully down. His seat was likely already soaked. 

So began a back and forth of Dean bickering about Cas taking too long and Cas apologizing, but with added remarks of Dean should have fixed the window already. He supposed some blame did rest on his shoulders for not yet fixing it… but he had told Cas to hurry! 

Dean couldn’t help but think that this may have been their first fight since saving Cas from the empty. Though it wasn’t much of a fight. Definitely nothing like some of the ones they’d had in the past. It was really more of a squabble. 

Squabble. Dean thought, and couldn’t help himself from chuckling at the word. 

“Is there a reason my apologies are humorous to you, Dean?” 

“What? No. It was just — never mind.” Dean sighed and finally looked over at Cas. “Come on. Let’s just try to get home before she’s flooded.” 

He grabbed as many bags as he could carry, Cas did the same, and they ran towards the Impala. Dean popped the trunk and sat his bags inside leaving room for Cas’ and only then did he realize Cas wasn’t with him. He turned and saw Cas standing about half way back to the store, looking up at the sky, both hands turned palm up just letting the rain come down on him. 

“Cas…” Dean said, taking a few steps towards him. His eyes were closed and he looked so relaxed. “

“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” There was no response, so Dean took another step. “Cas, come on man, what are you — the groceries… Cas!?”

“They are vegetables, Dean… water will not harm them.” 

“Yeah, ok sure… but what about…” He wanted to say “my car”. He felt like he should have said “my car”… but there was something about the way Cas looked so at peace standing there. He closed the space between him and just watched for a moment.

“I’d forgotten this…” Cas finally said. 

“Forgotten what?” Dean asked. 

Cas didn’t respond, just sighed and kept his head turned to the falling rain. “This…” He smiled as the droplets bounced off his skin. “To feel the rain on my skin… it’s — it’s different as a human.” Finally he opened his eyes and looked at Dean. 

Suddenly Cas taking his time made so much sense. Caring about what he wore, or what he ate. Feeling the rain. Dean looked up, and the rain pattered over his face. It felt nice. 

Then a bolt of lightning flashed over them, followed by a loud clap of thunder. “Ok, that's enough! I just got you back, and I’d love to lose you to a lightning strike!” Dean said, pulling Cas towards the car. 

Cas obliged, and the two rode back the few miles to the bunker soaked, but happy. 

Also on AO3

[mercyfullkate]

It's really cold so gather round, I'm going to tell you about the last time it was this cold and what happened.

I had a ticket to see Avatar (the band) play Louisville, KY on January 16, 2018. I'd planned to leave work a few hours early that day to drive the four hours or so to Louisville, but a snowstorm moved in that morning and the college where I work was closed that day and the next.

I live in east Tennessee. It doesn't usually get very cold here but this was one of those Arctic blast storms where the temperature drops to well below freezing and everyone stays home because we don't know how to drive in snow. But I had a concert to attend! I'd only become a fan of Avatar recently when I saw them open for In This Moment, and I wasn't going to miss seeing them as a headliner. So I put on the wool underclothes I wear for hiking in cold weather, and heavy wool hiking socks, and over that jeans, t-shirt, hoodie, and hiking boots. I also put a wool scarf and mittens in the car and figured I'd be fine. It wasn't snowing yet although the sky was low and leaden.

I headed north on I-75 and by the time I reached the Kentucky border the snow had started. The roads were bad and I drove slowly, but my main trouble was keeping the windshield clear enough to see where I was going. I was driving a 2011 Mini Cooper that had a lot of miles on it and was cranky about the cold, and while the windshield wiper fluid has antifreeze stuff in it AFAIK, the little nozzles that squirt the wiper fluid froze over after the first time I used them.

I stopped for gas at the Berea, KY exit (because I went to Berea College and know the area!), cleaned the windshield, got some hot chocolate, talked to the gas station attendant about how yeah, this was a bad snowstorm and the plows couldn't keep up, and got back in my car. And I drove and drove through the snow all the way up to Lexington. All this time the temperature hovered around 12 degrees Fahrenheit. I listened to music really loud and ran the heater and was fine.

The snow had mostly stopped by the time I passed Lexington and was on the last leg to Louisville. The roads were clear although there were spots of ice under the overpasses. No problem, I kept it slow and arrived in Louisville with several hours to kill.

I went to a music shop and bought a used crash cymbal, visited a few book stores and bought some books, and finished up at a Panera where I drank coffee and watched out the window, killing time. I was excited about the concert and didn't want to arrive too early. It was at the Mercury Ballroom downtown, where I'd never been before, and I think doors opened at 6pm. I finally couldn't wait any longer and left a little after 5pm.

Traffic was light. Most people had gone home from work early because of the bad weather and I think schools had been closed too. It didn't take me too long to reach downtown after all.

I arrived well before 6pm and found parking in a snowy lot only a few minutes from the Mercury. Parking was $5. I grabbed my scarf and mittens because it was dark now, still about 12F, and snowing lightly. I walked down to find the end of the line and figured I could survive the cold for half an hour or so.

Now, this was a metal concert and almost no one was dressed for the cold. I wasn't even wearing a coat! Almost no one was. And before long we were all truly miserable, hunched up and shivering. 6pm came and went. 7pm came and went. By the time doors opened I couldn't feel my toes at all.

It turned out that the lines weren't marked and I'd waited in line for 90 minutes in 12 degree weather in the VIP line, and me and everyone around me got sent to the end of the actual line behind people who'd only just arrived.

Anyway, we made it in and it was nice and warm inside. This was pre-Covid and everyone scrunched in together. The opening act was a magic/freak show called (I think) Hellzapoppin, and I hate that sort of thing so I just hid behind a tall guy so I couldn't see. By the time Avatar took the stage, my toes had finally thawed and I could feel them again.

Avatar always puts on a great show and I really enjoyed the concert. Despite everything I've typed, this story isn't actually about the concert. Afterwards I decided to drive toward home, and if the roads were bad I'd stop somewhere and find a hotel, and if not I'd just drive home.

Moonlight glowed on snow-covered fields. The interstate was almost deserted. The roads were clear after all even after I reached Lexington and headed south on I-75, so I just kept driving. The temperature at this point was around 5 degrees Fahrenheit. My car lit up its "don't like cold weather" check-engine light, but that happened every time it got too cold. This also isn't a story about car trouble.

At the time I was living in a little town north of Knoxville, and I reached it about 3:30am. I was sleepy but was off work the next day so was looking forward to sleeping in, then messing around on my drum kit with the new cymbal I'd bought.

Norris, Tennessee has a public field in the middle of town called the commons, where kids play soccer and the town shoots off fireworks in summer. As always, I looked across the commons as I drove past it, because my house was just visible beyond a little hill. And as I looked, I saw that my house was on fire.

The two minutes or so that it took me to reach home were probably the most terrifying of my life. I took mental stock as I drove carefully on the icy road: I had no pets or people living with me at the time, my wallet was with me, and things can be replaced. I was okay. I could get replacement family pictures from other family members. It was a pity about my book collection and drum kit, but again: just things.

As I came around the last corner, I realized it wasn't my house on fire after all! But that was even worse, because my nearest neighbor was elderly and almost deaf. What if it was her house? What if no one had reported the fire yet and she was trapped in her house?

But by the time I reached my driveway, with relief I realized the fire was another door down, a house that had stood empty for several years. And I also saw fire trucks in the road, battling flames that were taller than the surrounding trees.

The neighborhood smelled of smoke. My house smelled of smoke. I took my new cymbal and new Avatar t-shirt inside and wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to shower and go to bed, but I imagined a fireman pounding on my door telling me my roof was alight, and me having to grab a towel and bathrobe to escape into the frozen night. So I stayed in my sweaty concert clothes and watched the fire through the window for almost an hour.

There were several inches of snow on my roof, though, and I suspect that's why the fire didn't spread. Finally I showered and went to bed, but woke only a few hours later with a headache from the smoke. The empty house had burned down completely.

No one was hurt, fortunately. My deaf neighbor had been the one to call 911 when she smelled smoke. My crash cymbal was worth what I paid for it. I ended up with an ear infection from standing in the cold so long without a hat.

That's all. That's a longwinded story about how I drove to see a concert in sub-zero snowy weather and returned home to a house fire two doors down. But it was all okay and you should totally check out Avatar (the band) if you're not already familiar with them. I got to see them again this summer in Knoxville at what turned out to be their 1000th live show, and it was great and nothing burned down afterwards.

[palaeophilist]

another October.

It is another October. I tidied the kitchen before I turned on the fake fireplace and lit my pumpkin spice crackly candle that bothers AG so much (both the crackle and the scent, I think).

I knew I would sit down and try to say a thing or two about the world lately. I don't often "speak out loud," but I realized that it's a bit essential because talking to myself is boring. It's full of details. Too many details. When I speak here, I think the knowledge that anyone could read it makes me hesitate to say it all, or at least, say it all directly, and that makes everything a tiny bit more interesting.

Not necessarily to you, the unknown and likely imaginary reader, but to me, who is definitely reading this right now as I type word after word.

The rhythms of my life lately have bored me quite a lot, but I'm also not sure how to break out of them. I asked my students for a warm up last week, "What have you been paying attention to? What would you like to be paying attention to?" and I had been all prepared to talk about my recent obsession with Zillow. I check Zillow probably five times a day for the perfect house, which I did actually find once, except that it wasn't perfect because it came with only a 12 month lease and no opportunities to extend, which made it not perfect.

We've looked at places nearby with cracked tiles and too small living rooms, with crooked foundation and yards full of other people's leftover junk. We've looked at places further away with shared lawn which required tables or chairs to be moved inside after use, weirdly, and which absolutely overestimated available square footage. We've looked at places with black mold in the closets that stank of eternal cigarette smoke, and places which were too small to fit either our couch or our tiny kitchen dining table. Just today, we looked at two places, one of which had three tiny bedrooms and one drawer that couldn't open because the stove was too big, and one that smelled of mildew and, although renovated two years ago, had floors with chipping tiles and wood floors that were dirty and in need of refinishing.

And all of these places, aside from one, which felt like walking into a hoarder house, complete with pet filth on a rug which I stepped in a little, were still more expensive that my little back house, which comes with 360 views of the city, great for admiring dawn, dusk, and fireworks, and where all my things have a home, and where my couch fits just right, even if it's the only thing that fits in the tiny living room. In spite of the fruitless searching, I still search, every day, multiple times, and in the end, I think I just need to have faith that we're going to find something great, and even if we don't, where we are isn't half bad.

It's really sad that the neighbors moved, though. CS is still in the habit of asking if Sebby will be home, and then as if waking from a dream, remembering that Sebby already moved and he's not home to play. After they started sleeping at the new house last week, I took Calvin to see where they live now, and he asked if he could walk there by himself, and I said no, and he said, then it's not close, and honestly, he's not wrong. It's less than a mile, but would require him to cross five streets, and he still needs reminders to look both ways.

It was really great to have a built in best neighbor friend for all this time. We've lived here now for almost three years, and they became fast friends when they were about three & a half, and it was a friendship composed of freedom and candy. They spent hours going up and down, throwing water balloons, roasting smores, climbing fences, sneaking out front, riding scooters to the park, making lemonade, watching shows, bumming meals, and painting nails. They drew pictures, played pretend. They each became part of the family. I know which foods Sebby will eat, and how he likes his toast. I wish things didn't have to change, but they do, and it makes space for new things to grow, but the part before the next thing gets grown is really lonely and sad.

We had one last hurrah together at California Adventure last weekend. The boys had their first sleepover. Calvin wished the sleeping over part included more sleeping, because he was exhausted from three nights of staying up too late. We wore those boys out on rides and walking all over the event, which didn't even start until 6. I am still recovering, personally.

This season is also characterized by trying to sneak in exercise, but being tired. Being so tired. Wishing I could find a little more energy to pay better attention to everything going on around me. It just takes a tiny bit of noticing to turn everything into gold, but there's been so much living that I don't have much space outside of my TikTok scrolling and news perusing, and of course, my Zillowing to see if something amazing has come through that was meant to be.

Lately, I've also taken to experiencing a deep grief about the loss of PY in my life. I never expected him to disappear so completely. We had a bizarre interaction at his birthday last year, and then he started seeing his current girlfriend, and really, since the introduction of EB, he's been putting more and more distance between us. I think he'd like to excise me entirely if it were possibly, but since it's not, the least he can do is erase my profile from Amazon and get a new phone plan. We finally got rid of the engagement house, as well. Each of these things feels like a paper cut, sharp and unexpected, with a sting that lingers, but with an invisible wound. It's easy to look back on the early years and remember the bits that made it fun and light and interesting. Even then, I remember the stay/go columns, and the way I felt when I realized that being with him would mean that I never felt fully listened to, seen, or heard. I remember trying so desperately to create a formula that could at least approximate the sort of ways that I needed to be held in his attention, but we were always ships passing in the night. We had enough admiration for one another, and loyalty, to stay together for a long time, but that relationship had to complete with planting roots in different places, making room for us to grow. I suppose I'm doomed or destined to remember this in different waves of grief as the seasons pass. It is the sad that I keep, the feeling that I could've tried differently or harder, that we could've kept things in tact, but then we wouldn't be us, and everything that's growing from here would never have come to pass.

Living requires so much faith in all that has not yet happened, and it's hard to believe, but I do believe that the best is yet to come, and that what we have, the life that takes up so much time living, is pretty decent, with all those dawns and dusks and fireworks.

[hasufin]

Change

Every now and then I look up places where I used to live. Streetview is an interesting way to see what the places look like.

Sometimes, like where my family used to vacation 30 years ago, it's basically unrecognizable.

This time, I opted to look up the first apartment I had, 23 years ago.

This took a bit of doing. At the time it was normal to have your email through either your school or your ISP. I have long since stopped using my university emails (and they changed names). The ISP I used back then was bought out and has suffered numerous other insults. And while ostensibly I downloaded my mailbox from back then, I haven't had a mail client installed on my personal computer in over 15 years. So it's oddly hard to find little details like "What was my mailing address in 2001?"

I finally jogged my memory enough and located the place.

And wow, I remembered it was a shitty apartment in a shitty apartment complex, but it's worse now. Or, more accurately, it's exactly the same.

Back then, it was this awful place behind a K-Mart (but they had this fence so you couldn't even just walk to the K-Mart, you had to drive about half a mile, park, and walk to and from your car which was literally about as far as from the store to our apartment. But, whatever.

Now, the neighbors were mostly okay. Well, the apartment below us was occupied by... at least 12 people. In a one-bedroom apartment. But once we explained that EXTREMELY LOUD mariachi music at 6 am on a Saturday was less than welcome. We didn't mind the guy clearly running a car repair business in the parking lot.

What bugged us was the wind. Specifically, you could feel the wind through the walls. You had a layer of those split wood shingles (notable for burning like matchsticks), and then the plywood of the outside of the wall, and then drywall. No insulation. You could literally feel the wind through the walls, and I shivered through many a cold Kansas night.

Looking on Streetview... those apartments are exactly the same. They haven't burned down, to be sure. They're not in any particular state of disrepair. But they also haven't been improved. Same extremely flammable shingles. Same cracked parking lot. Same slippery stairs. The K-Mart is gone, of course. The office building nearby where I used to work is still there, but has been bought and sold half a dozen times. But those apartment buildings? No change. Not in a quarter of a century.

[slowtravelingcat]

An inanimate beast and a day at home

Monday, July 12th, 2021

CAL - Life continued as expected in beautiful Anchorage, Alaska this weekend. The large, bald one even managed to come home each evening over the weekend. In fact, she was home so much that she did the most unexpected thing. A thing I have not seen her do since we left our long-term home in Marina Del Rey. It made me feel both afraid and at ease, a very disorienting experience. 

It all started when she arrived home on Wednesday evening, carrying one of the largest machines I have ever seen her maneuver on her own accord. Upon lugging the inanimate beast through the door, it fell to the ground and then glided across the floor, seemingly placing itself against the wall. 

I eyed the beast all night long, but it lay dormant. Eventually, I drifted to sleep. 

The next day Michele sat down for a full day of work. By the time dinner rolled around, I had forgotten about the foreign beast completely. This is when it happened. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Michele grabbed the beast by the neck and it roared to life, emitting a high-pitched, persistent hum that pierced the air and greatly disturbed my delicate sensibilities.

She guided the machine across the carpet, making sure that beast touched every inch of our floor at least once. At first, I was confused, but as I watched the terrible scene from underneath the bed, I started to understand what was really happening. The beast was eating the deposits of cat fur that I had been strategically placing around the room for weeks now. I had finally covered the room in my fur and scent and now the large, loud beast was erasing my efforts in one failed swoop. 

As soon as the noise subsided, I emerged. I surveyed the damage and concluded that I had a lot of work to do. I began willing myself to emit as much cat hair as possible as I methodically rubbed across each piece of furniture multiple times.    

MICHELE - I am finally starting to realize that 2 months to explore Alaska is not nearly enough. After attempting to go everywhere possible for the past 6 weeks, I finally decided to explore our home base of Anchorage this weekend. 

Saturday morning started with lazy coffee as I watched majestic mountains guard the city. Around 11am, I headed to Pablo’s Bike Shop to rent a bike and take on that first portion of the Coastal Trail. The stunning bike trail meanders along the coastline and through a beautiful forest, which is rife with moose sightings. A small climb at the end landed me at Earthquake Park. A small sports complex where a lively game of soccer was being played and hot dog trucks fought for my attention. 

Half a liter of water and zero hotdogs later, I headed back to the bike shop. The entire route, 20 miles in total, took nearly 3 hours to complete. The bike was in good condition and the cool Alaskan breeze made the trip comfortable, despite rising temperatures. 

After the bike ride, I enjoyed a long, late lunch in downtown Anchorage at 49th Street Brewery. The rooftop seating provides one of the best views of the Cook Inlet. 

Sunday consisted of a day trip to Girdwood and the Wildlife Refuge Center. The hour-long drive from Anchorage to Girdwood is one of the most widely renowned drives in Alaska. The Seward highway follows the coastline, passing several lookout points and skirting past Beluga Point, where the beluga whales like to hang out. 

Girdwood is an adorable mountain town, best known for skiing in the winter. In the summer a quick 30-60 minute fly-by will give you a good feel for the charming community. I recommend stopping at the Crow Creek Mercantile to grab picnic supplies for later. 

From Girdwood, the Alaskan Wildlife Conservation Center is approximately a 20-minute drive down the highway. A charming refuge, predominantly for caribou, bison, bears, porcupines, and wolves, the property is enclosed in scenic mountains and filled with animals that seem to pose for pictures. There are also several picnic areas, which made it easy to enjoy my afternoon snack.

On the way back I stopped at McHuge Creek for a short hike. Additionally, I did a quick walkthrough of Potter’s March, which is just off the highway a few miles from town. Potter’s Marsh boasts some of the rarest birds in this part of the world as well as frequent moose sightings. 

All in all, I was pleasantly surprised at the beauty and variety in my own backyard. It’s definitely going to be hard to leave this place. 

[travelingtheusa]

FLORIDA

2024 March 16 (Sat) – We went out for lunch to Cracker Barrel.  Otherwise, we stayed around the campground most of the day.  Got ready to tomorrow’s move.

2024 March 15 (Fri) – We went to El Patron for a Mexican lunch.  It was very good.  Afterward, we went to the National Naval Aviation Museum.  What a fantastic museum!  They have changed it from 10 years ago.  You used to walk into the foyer with 5 full-size Navy Blue Angels jets overhead in formation.  The going joke was always, Why are they so far apart? When they are just inches from each other.  That entrance is different now.  The entrance is still jaw dropping but not focused on the Blue Angels any more.  We walked around the building filled with all kinds of planes, gliders, and hot air balloons.  They also cover the space program with capsules the astronauts returned home in.

      A ferocious thunderstorm passed through tonight.  One particular boom was so loud that the RV shook and the night sky lit up lit a bomb had gone off.  Scared the heck out of Sheba and me.

2024 March 14 (Thu) – We went back to SMART HQ this morning.  More talk.  More review of files.  Discussion of issues and upcoming caravans.  We left at noon and stopped at The Fishing Hole for lunch.  The name kind of gives an image of a small shack on the bayou but it turned out to be a very nice restaurant with a New Orleans flair.  Paul enjoyed a jambalaya and I had shrimp and bacon on cheese grits (the house specialty).  It actually turned out to taste pretty good.

2024 March 13 (Wed) - We packed up today and Eglin AFB after 28 days in place.  It took a bit to get all the preparations in place as we are still getting used to the new rig.  We left at 11:00 and drove to a nearby parking lot where Paul guided me while I tried backing the RV up.  I did fine driving straight and turning but that backing up is hard!  Paul makes it look so easy.  Guess a career of driving heavy machinery has paid off for him.

      We arrived at Pensacola RV Park at 1:30 pm.  This is a very nice campground.  The sites are roomy with lots of grass and just the right amount of trees in place.  Our site is gravel and there are full hookups along with WiFi and cable TV.

      Once we were set up, we drove 16 miles to SMART HQ.  There is a small building on the lot of Melissa’s home.  Melissa is the Executive Manager for SMART.  She and her assistant, Phyllis, live together in the house.  The SMART HQ used to be Melissa’s photo studio.  Paul and I went through files and talked with the staff about SMART issues. 

      Stopped at the Bonefish Grill on the way back home and ordered the Bang Bang Shrimp.  That is so good.  We also indulged in margaritas and bread.  Obviously, we wound up taking half our meal home.  We were stuffed!

2024 March 12 (Tue) – We spent the day working on our caravan plans.  Got the basic route done with a list of activities to check out.  At lunch time, we drove to the base dining facility for lunch.  They advertised Yankee pot roast for today’s lunch and I wanted some of it.  Unfortunately, by the time we got to the dining facility, it was all gone.  A black bean burger did not taste good after hungering for the pot roast.  We went back and continued working on the caravan plans. I made reservations to fly back to New York on the 20th. I spent $1,000 to go back and get my free hearing aids from the VA. How crazy is that? My sister, Susan, will pick me up, take me to the Northport Medical Center, and drop me off at the airport so I will have no car rental. I will also stay with her and her husband so there will be no hotel costs. Too bad I couldn't pick up one of those cheap flights Southwest is always advertising.

2024 March 11 (Mon) – We went to the base dining facility today.  I had a turkey, bacon and avocado wrap with sweet potato fries and Paul had smoked turkey with a baked potato with a mushroom vegetable sauce.  We shared a potato soup and both had a drink.  The entire meal came to less than $19.  How come we didn’t find this place sooner?

      We then drove to the commissary and did some shopping.  Also stopped at the package store to pick up some bourbon.  We returned the key to our mailbox in the UPS store.  It was smart to get that box.  We saved a lot of money with all the packages we had delivered.

2024 March 10 (Sun) – We stayed in all day working on our next caravan.  It is a lot of work to put these things together.

2024 March 9 (Sat) – We drove to Fort Walton Beach and Destin this afternoon after spending the morning working on our next caravan – Planes, Trains, Automobiles & Ships.  There is so much to see in Michigan that we are having a hard time shaving down the choices.  We’ll get there.

      The National Seashore of Fort Walton Beach and Destin reminded us very much of Fire Island back home.  Lots of water and sand.  The ocean on one side and the bay on the other.  We stopped at a café called Crackings for lunch.  Everything was excellent.  The day was overcast.  It rained hard most of the night.

2024 March 8 (Fri) – Well, I am back from New York.  It was a longer trip as I had several doctors to see. I had left extra time hoping to get new hearing aids from the V.A. but they scheduled me for March 15.  I have been trying to change it to March 20.  I plan to fly back on the 19th, go to the VA on the 20th, and fly back to Florida on the 21st.

      The trip home was very productive.  I saw the oncologist, cardiologist, dentist, ophthalmologist, and chiropractor.  All tests came back green across the board.  I am fine.  Almost.  The ophthalmologist said my lower lid is pulling away and my upper lid needs a lift again.  He referred me to an eye surgeon for evaluation.  I will go back in June and get it done.

       While I was away, Paul did wonders with the RV.  He built a beautiful desk that looks like it came with the trailer.  He also found places to store everything.  It will take a while to determine where everything is and a little longer to get used to new set up.  I keep going to the wrong cabinet for the trash. 

      We drove to Pensacola yesterday to participate in a muster with the SMART White Sands Panhandlers Chapter.  We knew more people than I thought we would and enjoyed meeting new folks.

BREAK – BREAK

2024 Feb 15 (Thu) – We worked around the camper today.  Paul ordered several things online to work on while I am gone.  He will be making a desk for this new camper.  At noon, we ran out to get some things done.  First stop was at the UPS store on base.  We stopped there yesterday and opened a mail box for the month we will be here.  Today, we went back to get some paperwork notarized.  Then we shopped in the PX and the commissary.  Next, we went off base to the post office to mail off the paperwork for our new plates and registration.  Of course, there was a stop for lunch.  We ate at Sonny’s BBQ.  “If it isn’t smoking out back, it’s not Sonny’s upfront.”  Everything was delicious.  We even took leftovers home for dinner. 

      I spent the night packing for my trip back to New York tomorrow.  I will be gone for 2-1/2 weeks.  I had to buy another suitcase because I am bringing winter clothes with me.  It snowed yesterday and more snow is predicted in 2 days.  I hope it won’t be too miserable while I am there.  Kenny is sick and Miranda asked me to stay with my sister.  Susan lives in the Hamptons and that would add an extra hour’s drive to wherever I want to go.  I decided to stay in a motel for the duration.  Ugh.  The cost!

2024 Feb 14 (Wed – Valentine’s Day) – We took off from Eastpoint at 10 a.m. and headed out to Eglin Air Force Base (AFB) in Valparaiso.  We went through a time change from EST to CST.  We stopped at a gas station for lunch.  It was quite nice.  I never saw so much fishing equipment for sale in a gas station before.  There must be some really popular fishing spots around there.  We tried to drag our feet because check in time wasn’t until 3 p.m. but we arrived a little after 2 p.m.  Since I had already spoken with the office and gotten our site number, we went straight there.  It was open so we pulled in and set up.  The campground is little dated with lots of trees around the area.  We are parked under pine trees and some kind of tree with small nuts.  Hope they don’t fall on our rig.

      Hudson’s birthday is tomorrow.  We sent him a pair of basketball shoes for his birthday.  He had a play-off game tonight and wore them there.  He said the game would be devoted to us.  They won. 

2024 Feb 13 (Tue) – We left Williston at 9:45 a.m.  We never got to see my niece.  I called her yesterday and she said we would get together later that evening.  Unfortunately, a rainstorm blew in and she got busy taking care of the animals on her farm.  She never called back.

       We arrived at Coastline RV Resort in Eastpoint at 1 p.m.  We ran out to get fuel and grab lunch at the Red Pirate.  We are only here for one night.  It is a beautiful campground.  The sites are roomy with a large, lovely brick patio.  There is a pool right behind our campsite with one person braving the cold.

2024 Feb 12 (Mon) – We packed up, then ran to the post office to send off Valentine’s cards to our grandsons.  When we got back, we said good-bye to Margaret & Rich, hooked up, and took off.  It was about 50 minutes to the Williston Crossings RV Resort.  It is a very nice, gated resort.  They have a pool and hot tub, laundry, games, activity room, and camp store.  Our campsite is full hookup on a concrete pad.  The staff were very nice and one of them was even named Melody.

      Once we were set up, we went into town to get some spring bars for the refrigerator.  For some reason, we did not have any in the fridge and when I opened the door, I got plastered with saucy chicken.  We are still learning and adjusting to our new space.

2024 Feb 11 (Sun) – There were the last minute runs out to WalMart and Lowe’s.  Paul was going to make steps for me to get up into the bed.  Our new 10” mattress arrived and once on the base, now comes up past my waist.  I need help getting into the bed.  He discovered a plastic step ladder with two steps.  We bought that and returned the wood he bought.  Then he spent the day working under the RV, plugging holes and spraying a bed liner.  I worked on trying to get the taxes done before my trip to New York.  Margaret made hamburgers for dinner then we watched the first half of the Super Bowl with them before returning home.

2024 Feb 10 (Sat) – I went to the hairdresser today.  I wanted to touch up the lowlights and get my hair cut.  The hairdresser put too much color in and the cut is funky.  She called it a pixie cut but it looks like anything but a pixie cut.  As usual, I will wait for it to grow out and hope to find another hairdresser who can do my hair the way I want.  *sigh*

       Rich grilled the steaks tonight.  I made baked potatoes and Margaret cooked up some corn.

2024 Feb 9 (Fri) – We continued work around the RV today.  At noon, we ran out to Winn Dixie to pick up some steaks for dinner tomorrow.  And, as always, a stop at Lowe’s was in order.  We have been there almost every day as we pick up and return items.  Margaret & Rich took us out to dinner at Olive Garden tonight. 

2024 Feb 8 (Thu) – We stayed in all day, working around the RV.  Paul is really doing so much.

2024 Feb 7 (Wed) – There’s been a pretty steady stream of Amazon packages arriving.  We are expecting our new mattress on Thursday.  We will be taking the king size bed out and replacing it with a queen size mattress.   We spent the day working around the RV.  Paul got the safe installed behind the fireplace.  I am still trying to get our RV registered in South Dakota.  The guy that I worked with has left the company and a new person is on board.  I made an appointment to meet Tuesday by phone.  I also have to find a notary public.  Our mail forwarding service at Escapees sent a note asking for us to verify that SMART is not a business.  Paul also has to sign his revised will.  I will meet with the lawyer when I go back to New York later this month to sign my will. Margaret made stuffed chicken and rice for dinner tonight.

2024 Feb 6 (Tue) – We went to WalMart early so we could get an oil change for the truck.  While that went on, we had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts then roamed the aisles for a bit before the truck was done.  Then we drove to Home Depot but didn’t find anything so we left bare handed (wow!).  Margaret mentioned another store where she buys things cheap so we drove there.  Ollies didn’t have much of what we wanted but they do have nice area rugs.  When we need another rug (our new one arrived in the mail yesterday), we’ll have to shop there.

       Margaret made dinner again.  We enjoyed left-overs.

2024 Feb 5 (Mon) – The modifications continue.  We ran out to WalMart – returned items that didn’t work out and bought new stuff.  At 5:00 p.m. Margaret & Rich had a birthday dinner for friends (one couple and a single guy).  The two men were celebrating birthdays.  Margaret made a seafood meal – shrimp, crab cakes and fish.  As usual, all the food was good and plentiful.

2024 Feb 4 (Sun) – Paul ran out to Lowe’s to get paint.  He is adding two shelves to the pantry and wanted to paint them the same color as what is in there.  I worked on SMART National Muster items, including a comprehensive schedule that lists all times, topics and presenters.  We took Margaret & Rich out for dinner to Los Magueyes (a Mexican restaurant).  The food and margaritas were good.

2024 Feb 3 (Sat) – We went shopping again at both WalMart and Lowe’s.  In addition, we got on the computers and ordered some stuff online.  It’s cost us over $1,000 to date to equip and adjust this new RV.  Margaret made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.  She seems to be enjoying our company and fussing over us at dinnertime.

2024 Feb 2 (Fri) – We worked tirelessly all day long, getting things rearranged and built.  Matt & Melissa came over to Margaret & Rich’s tonight for dinner.  Paul and Margaret used to work with Matt back in NY Traffic Signal days.  Margaret made Marry Me Chicken.  It was very tasty.

2024 Feb 1 (Thu) – We woke, made a list of things to get, and went shopping at Lowe’s and WalMart.  Half way through Lowe’s, I lost the list somewhere so we didn’t get to buy everything we needed.  But we came home and got a good deal done, although very little unpacking.  Paul discovered that the cardboard file boxes fit nicely in the closet.  We will be going through and packing up anything we don’t use on a regular basis.

      Margaret made hamburgers for dinner.  Then we watched TV while our clothes were in the washer and dryer.

2024 Jan 31 (Wed) – We got up and tried to get some semblance of order, enough to be able to close the slides and drive off.  We left the RV dealer parking lot at 11 a.m.  and arrived at our friend’s home, Margaret & Rich (Paul and Margaret worked together at Traffic).  They had a nice covered area for their RV which they were kind enough to move out and let us use.

      We visited for a bit, then went out to tackle the problem of finding a place for everything.  We moved from a 40’ rig into a 38’ rig.  We also lost a lost lot of cabinet space.  By the afternoon, we were walking around taking measurements.  Tomorrow, we will go to Lowe’s and pick up wire racks and storage boxes to add room.

      Margaret cooked meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner.  It was good!  Afterward, we watched TV for awhile, then came back and crashed.

2024 Jan 30 (Tue) – We drove to Optimum RV for our 9 a.m. inspection and walk through of the new rig (after stopping for breakfast at the Hometown Restaurant).  We waited almost an hour and a half before the tech came to get us.  We walked around the RV, letting him show us the different functions and instructing him when he didn’t know something or had it wrong.  The water pump didn’t work and a slide on the bureau was loose.  Other than that, all seemed to be in order.  When we were done inspecting the rig, the tech brought us back to the office to see someone in finance.  That was another hour wait.  At noon, I asked the receptionist if we should go to lunch, seeing as how it was lunch time and the finance officer was probably going to lunch, too.  She told us he would be right out.  Half an hour later, a young man came out and told us he needed the title to the Vilano and a copy of my driver’s license.  I gave him my license but we had to walk back to the rig to get the title.

      In the meantime, our RV was parked out front where we checked in.  Another tech had asked to take a quick look inside so we dropped the trailer and popped the slides.  He walked through, admiring the RV and telling us it was a nice rig.  We agreed.  We had to search a bit among all the packed up bags and boxes but we finally found the title and brought it back in.  We then waited another 20 minutes before a second finance guy came out to complete the paperwork.  We signed over the title, signed a bunch of papers, and were congratulated.  It was now after 2 p.m.

      We went back to the rig and made a quick lunch.  Then we commenced to moving everything from the Vilano to the Ahara.  At 6 p.m., we took a run down the road to get dinner at Wendy’s.  There was another couple who was also transferring stuff from their travel trailer to a new fifth wheel.  We picked up dinner for them.  Seeing as how it was dark and we had a mess inside, we decided to spend the night in the parking lot.  The place is a disaster and the cat is freaking out.  I’m getting too old for this!

2024 Jan 29 (Mon) – We got up early and went into the Magic Kingdom to have breakfast at the Crystal Palace.  It was a character breakfast and we got our picture taken with Winnie the Pooh.  Afterward, we walked over to Tomorrowland to go on the Circle of Progress but it was closed.  We walked through the stores looking for a bumper sticker and a Mickey Mouse sticker to put on the camper but they don’t make them any more.  Bummer.

      We packed up and left Fort Wilderness at 11 a.m.  It was almost two hours to the Wild Frontier RV Resort in Ocala.  We spent the night packing up as much as we could.  I was exhausted by the time we finally went to bed.  Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day.  We stayed here close to the RV dealer so we could arrive and get the day started early.  Hope all goes well.

2024 Jan 28 (Sun) – We visited the last of the 4 parks today – the Animal Kingdom.  This is the least visited park of them all.  We started out with breakfast at the Rainforest Café.  The meal was good but as with all Disney restaurants, the meal was more than twice the cost of a meal outside the park.  We walked around a lot.  Got to take a river ride in the Avatar setting, saw the It’s Tough to be a Bug show, and watched a show with birds.  It was very warm this morning and early afternoon, then a cool breeze blew in.  Paul says a cold front is coming in.  We rode to the Wilderness Lodge for lunch and ate at the Roaring Fork.  It was good.  Then we caught the boat to the campground, took the bus back to the parking lot, then got in the truck and drove back to the campground.  It was a long day.

On a good note, Paul seems to be over his virus and I never caught it. Whew!

2024 Jan 27 (Sat) – Today was a trip to Hollywood Studios.  This was the most crowded park yet.  The new Star Wars attraction is the big, new attraction.  There were people everywhere!  We had breakfast at Hollywood & Vine to the tune of $130 (ouch!) and got to go on one ride after a 70 minute wait.  We got annoyed and left.

2024 Jan 26 (Fri) – We went to EPCOT today.  We left a little later since we wanted to stay for the fireworks.  We got there about 4 p.m. and strolled along the walkway.  We waited over an hour for Soaring Over California.  Also walked through a few areas before getting to the World Showcase.  We had dinner at the Biergarten Restaurant.  It was a buffet with German fare.  Everything was good and there was a show with 4 performers.  They played various instruments included the bells, the French horn and those long Swiss horns.  The fireworks show was fantastic.

2024 Jan 25 (Thu) – Paul popped up at 11 a.m. and said, “Let’s go to the park.”  I immediately agreed and we caught the boat to the Magic Kingdom.  The park was crowded but we managed to get on a few rides – Runaway Train (45 minute wait), Haunted Mansion (55 minute wait), Pirates of the Caribbean (35 minute wait), and the Hall of Presidents.   We came back home to feed Sheba and have dinner, then returned to the park to watch the 8 p.m. fireworks show. 

2024 Jan 24 (Wed) – We stayed in again today.  Paul seems worse but he says he’s a little better.  Hope he gets better soon so we can take advantage of at least some of the park.  My throat does not hurt any more.  Guess it cured itself.

2024 Jan 23 (Tue) – We stayed in all day.  Paul in blowing his nose and running a low grade fever.  I have him taking Ivermectin, Vitamin C, Vitamin D3, Quercetin, and Zinc.  It only lasted him 2 days and with very mild symptoms last time he had it.  Hopefully, it won’t be any worse this time.

      At 4:30 p.m. we drove into town to pick up a few groceries.  Then we went to Pioneer Hall in the campground and had a light dinner.  I started getting a scratchy throat. 

2024 Jan 22 (Mon) – We packed up and left Brandon at 10:30 a.m.  We drove an hour and a half to Lake Buena Vista to stay for a week in Fort Wilderness in Disney World.  No other place looks like Fort Wilderness.  It is unique and inviting.  I love it.

      Paul started with a scratchy throat yesterday and is congested today.  This evening, I was on Facebook with the Vilano group.  One of the members there posted that she tested positive COVID.  We did a test on Paul and, sure enough, he is positive for COVID.  What bad timing!

2024 Jan 21 (Sun) – We packed up and left Tampa at 11:30 a.m.  We only had 9 miles to go back to the Elks Lodge for the night.  We got the same spot we had last week.

2024 Jan 20 (Sat) – We went to look at our RV again then walked around the show.  The crowds were very large.  Lots of people turned out to look over the displays.  Another couple in our group bought an RV.  We had a happy hour tonight and shared stories of our purchases.

2024 Jan 19 (Fri) – We stopped at our RV to look it over.  Unfortunately, the RV we bought was a show model and because this is a manufacturer’s show, they will continue to show the model for the entire show.  All we can hope for is that it doesn’t get abused during the show.

      We walked around the show.  Paul bought snap pads for the new rig.  There was a bingo game tonight.  We didn’t win anything.

2024 Jan 18 (Thu) – We walked around the show again today.  When we returned last night, we sent inquiries out over the internet to get some quotes on two different RV models we liked.  This morning, as we were getting ready to leave for the show, we got an email offering a quote on one of the models.  We took that quote to the RV dealer, showed the quote, and asked the salesperson to match it.  After a little bit of angst and some discussion among the staff, she agreed to match the offer.  That was quite a coup!  The MSRP was listed as $118,000.  The “special show price” was listed as $89,995.  The quote we got from the internet was $78,213.  That was almost what we paid for our Vilano back in 2017.  They gave us $30,000 for a trade-in.  We feel we got an excellent deal and signed the papers.  We purchased a 2024 East West Ahara.

      There was entertainment tonight.  A band played.  They were excellent.  When they called numbers for door prizes, we won two surge protectors – one for 30 amp and one for 50 amp.  We will donate the 30-amp protector to SMART at national.  It is worth about $250.

2024 Jan 17 (Wed) – The Tampa RV show opened today.  We walked all around the show.  My back was killing me by the end of the day.  Whew!  We stopped at a couple of designated dealer sites and got quotes on two rigs.  We returned to the RV and made a couple of calls to dealers, trying to find a better deal.  We will work it for the week we are here. The electric was hooked up when we got back.

      Our group had a potluck tonight.  It was cold and we sat around the circle with 5 propane fires burning.  The food was good.  The weather got cold today.  It’s projected to be cold again tomorrow.  Brrrr.  One of the ladies brought her little chihuahua to the potluck.  She was warning everyone not to touch it as it bites.  Not for nothing, but if your dog bites, you shouldn’t bring it to a group function.

2024 Jan 16 (Tue) – We woke at 5:30 a.m. to pack up and leave.  Taking down the RV in the dark is an adventure!  I used both a flashlight and the light from my cell phone.  After hooking up the trailer, Paul drove to the dump station where we dumped the black tank and filled the fresh water tank.  Then we hit the road and drove 9 miles to the Tampa Fairgrounds where the Super RV Show is taking place this week.  Hope we can find the kind of rig we want at a decent price.  They are SO expensive today!

      We are camped with the Vanleigh group on the grass along the back fence.  We have no water or sewer hookup.  We should get electric but are running the generator for now.  Some of the folks here remember us from the first group campout here back in 2020.  Paul and I set up the large tent.  Another one of the guys here put up his smaller, 10x10, tent.  The sky opened up this afternoon and it poured.  Everyone fit under the tent very nicely.

       At 5:30 p.m. we met Brenda & Rick at Ulele Beer Garden.  We first met them on the Utah caravan and have become fast friends.  We try to visit with them whenever we are down this way.

2024 Jan 15 (Mon – MLK Day) – We went to Bradenton this morning to visit with my cousins, Fred & Margie.  Their daughter and her husband, Carolyn & Bobby, were also there.  Two hours flew by.  Fred is not doing well (he will be 89 this year), but he is very alert and competent.  He said his sister, Pat, fell down and was in the hospital.  Although she did not break anything, she is bruised and sore.  Pat will be 92 this year. 

      After we got back to Brandon (almost an hour drive), we stopped at Tres Amigos for lunch.  The sky opened up just as we pulled up and the rain poured down.  We spent an hour inside enjoying our meal.  By the time we came out, the rain had stopped.  The weather is cooling off.  There is a cold front coming across the country.  Rain and ice is pelting the northern states.  Even the southern states have falling temps.

       When done with lunch, we went food shopping at Publix.  Groceries stocked, we are ready for tomorrow’s move to the fairgrounds. 

2024 Jan 14 (Sun) – We didn’t do much today.  Stayed in.  The weather was lousy.  We worked on caravan stuff.

2024 Jan 13 (Sat) – We walked down the street to a small grocery store down the road.  It was a lot like a Restaurant Depot.  We picked up a few frozen meats but couldn’t find the rest of what we wanted.  It was just as well, anyway, because we had to carry the groceries back down the road – about half a mile.

      We drove out to lunch at Tibby’s, which was a cajun style restaurant.  I had rice and beans and Paul had jambalaya.  We have both tasted better but it was all good.  We then stopped at Total Wines after lunch to pick up a bottle to put in the prize drawing pile. 

2024 Jan 12 (Fri) – We did our laundry this morning.  Drove down the road to a laundromat.  It seemed like it had pretty new machines.  We put the clothes in the washer and then went to the post office to mail off some insignias for SMART chapter members.  After we returned and put the clothes in the dryers, we walked to Office Depot to pick up a few items.

      There was a dinner at the Elks Lodge tonight.  They had pierogies, kielbasa, a stuffed cabbage, salad, fruit, and the most delicious rye bread.  Everything was very good.

2024 Jan 11 (Thu) – We went into Tampa to look for jeans for me.  The first store we stopped at did not have any short sizes.  The second store didn’t either, but Paul suggested I buy crops.  That worked.  I bought I pair of jeans at Macy’s and another at Lane Bryant.  Mission accomplished, we stopped at Bonefish Grill for bang bang shrimp and soup. 

2024 Jan 10 (Wed) – We packed up and left Moore Haven ACOE at 9:45 a.m.  We stopped at the dump station then took off for our 3-hour drive to Brandon.  We are staying at the Elks Lodge.  The camp host suggested a site that was kind of sandwiched between 2 and would have required a very long hose to the water spout.  We decided to take another site adjacent to the lodge building.  We have 50-amp electric and water hookup; no sewer.  We stayed here back in 2017.  The lodge was a very busy place back then but not so much today.  We went into the lodge at 4:30 p.m. to pay for our site.  There was one other couple in there.  It’s still a beautiful bar but attendance is not good.  The bartender confirmed that membership has dropped off, just as it has everywhere else in the U.S.

      After paying for our site and enjoying a drink, we drove into town to get dinner and shop.  Dinner was at Tasty Venues, a Real Italian Restaurant.  I had lasagna and Paul had spaghetti pie with 3 different types of meatball.  The lasagna was exquisite!  I have never tasted anything as good as that.  It was a large serving and I took most of it home.  Paul was unimpressed with his meal.

      We left the restaurant and went to Publix to pick up a few groceries.

2024 Jan 9 (Tue) – We met Allen & Carol, Buddy & Deborah, and Buddy’s daughter, Lynn, at LaBelle Brewing Company for dinner.  I ordered meatloaf and got a dish overflowing with food.  I think they wanted to get rid of the meatloaf because I got 2 very large slices along with green beans piled high on a plate too small for the meal.  The green beans were soft and mushy.  Yuck.  The mashed potatoes were delicious and the meatloaf was OK.  I took most of it home.

      The weather was pretty ratty all day.  A brisk wind blew most of the day and a rainstorm blew in tonight.  There was heat lightning in the clouds.  That always looks pretty cool.  The weather was pretty severe south of us and we were getting warning notices about the possibility of tornados.  Our son and daughter-in-law contacted us to make sure we were OK.

2024 Jan 8 (Mon) – We drove to Fort Meyers today.  I need a new pair of jeans but when I started trying on clothes, I was dismayed to find I was a larger size.  I got depressed and stopped shopping for any clothing.  We stopped at Books-A-Million where I picked up a couple of cook books. Then we went to Chicken Salad Chick and had chicken salad sandwiches.  We stopped at Publix on the way back to the campground.

2024 Jan 7 (Sun) – We stayed in today and worked on the next caravan we are planning for 2025:  Planes, Trains, Automobiles & Ships.  There is so much to see and do in Michigan.  We are having a hard time paring the choices down.  I guess that’s the hardest part of planning a caravan – choosing the right amount of activities yet leaving time to explore on their own.

2024 Jan 6 (Sat) – We went over to Allen’s tonight for a barbecue.  He smoked up some ribs.  They were delicious!  We stopped over Buddy & Deborah’s house to look it over.  They bought it in February just before taking off for an extended RV trip this summer.  They only just got back at Thanksgiving.  The layout of the house is odd and they have their work cut out for them.  But they seem to be happy next to Allen (Allen and Deborah are siblings).  Buddy showed Paul where to hook up the RV if we ever come visit and stay at their place.

2023 Jan 5 (Fri) – We drove into LaBelle to shop at WalMart.  Then we tried to find a place to buy firewood.  Ace Hardware, WalMart, Tractor Supply, and 7-11 were all out of wood.  Allen & Carol and his sister and husband, Deborah & Buddy, came over at 4 p.m.  We had hamburgers and hot dogs.  I made potato salad and chickpea salad.  Allen brought over some wood from his shop and we had a campfire.  It was an enjoyable evening.

2023 Jan 4 (Thu) – We packed up and left LaBelle at 11:30 a.m.  We only had an 11-mile drive to ACOE Ortona South Campground in Moore Haven.  We were here some years ago.  It is a very pleasant campground right on the Caloosahatchee River.  Our site has electric and water hookup.  We are on a concrete pad with a gravel patio with a covered picnic table.  There is a lock right next to the campground.  After set up, we walked over the lock to the other side and watched a boat come through the lock.

      We sent a note to Allen, telling him we arrived and were set up.  We agreed to have them come over for a BBQ tomorrow. 

2023 Jan 3 (Wed) – We went to Clewiston today to tour the Seminole Reservation Museum, Ah-Tah-Thi-Ki.  It was an hour’s drive from LaBelle.   When we arrived, we drove first to the Swamp Water Café for lunch.  The café was set in a visitors area with cages for animals.  Almost all the cages were empty.  There was a very nice arena with grass and a moat filled with clear, clean water surrounding it.  In front were 3 stands for an audience to watch an alligator wrestling show.  The waitress told Paul the café had just opened for 7 days a week on Monday.  The place had closed for the pandemic and has not reopened.  The petting zoo was also closed. 

      The entire village is very well kempt and you can see they put money back into the reservation from the casino.  There was a new development under construction.  A very nice campground was also on the reservation.  We went to the museum.  The walkway from the parking lot to the building was a decorative block.  Inside the museum, we found the Seminole Indians to be very different from the Indians out west.  There clothing was very colorful and the men wore turbans!  The natives were driven into the everglades during the Seminole Wars (three of them) and they are very proud that they never surrendered or signed any peace treaties.  In the back of the museum was a boardwalk that wound through the swamp for a mile.  There were many storyboards along the way that described the wildlife, reptiles, insects, flora and fauna of the area.  There was also a replica fishing camp and a replica village.

       When we got back to LaBelle, we drove to Allen & Carol’s home, visited a while, then drove to Amigos & Beer for dinner.  I had tortillas and Paul had a combo meal.  We had margaritas but they were not good.  Mine smelled like perfume and the taste was off.  We drank them any way. 

2023 Jan 2 (Tue) – We drove to Fort Meyers this afternoon.  We spent the morning researching RVs online and decided to go to dealers to look at rigs.  The first stop was at Camping World.  When the girl demanded to make a copy of Paul’s license, he refused and we left.  What kind of weird requirement is that?  She claimed it was for insurance purposes.

      Next stop was at La Mesa.  They did not have any towables on their lot.  We seem to remember stopping at La Mesa a year or so ago and they said they are only selling motor homes.

      Then we stopped at Blue Compass RV.  The salesman was very upbeat and eager to sell us an RV.  We looked at a rig we really liked but once we started comparing it to our current RV, we realized it was missing a lot of storage space.  There were not nearly enough cabinets to hold all our stuff.  The salesman asked us to contact him when we find a rig we want and he will try to get it for us.  We told him we are going to the Tampa RV Show and (to be expected) he told us the better deal is at the dealership.  We will see.

      We went for lunch at Skip One Seafoods, a cute local restaurant that had really good food.  Allen asked if we wanted to go to dinner tonight but since we were an hour away and still looking at RVs, we made a date for tomorrow instead.

      After we got back to the campground, we did the laundry.

2023 Jan 1 (Mon) – We packed up and left Naples at 11:15 a.m.  It was only 74 miles to LaBelle so we took it slow.  The drive was nice.  We are staying at Whisper Creek RV Resort.  We had such a hard time finding a campground in the area so we wound up making reservations at this resort.  It is costing us $125 a night.  Ouch!  At any rate, we wanted to visit with our friends, Allen and Carol.

      We drove over Allen’s house at 4:00 p.m.  He lives in a double gated community on a hill right on the river.  It is a very lovely home with a main waterway going past the back of his house.  We visited for an hour then went to dinner.  Allen’s son, Allen Jr., is visiting and joined us as well.  We were going to go to a Mexican restaurant for margaritas but they were closed so we wound up at the LaBelle Brewing Co.  I had a cobb salad and Paul had jambalaya.  The food and company were very good.

       After dinner, we drove back to their house.  Visited for a half hour, then left.

2023 Dec 31 (Sun – New Year’s Eve) – We drove into the historic district of Naples today.  Everything is built in Italian architectural style.  I guess their sister city is Naples, Italy.  It has a very European feel to the town.  There were so many expensive cars.  A Bentley convertible, many Bentleys, BMWs, Porches, Audis, etc.  We are in the land of the rich people.  We found a parking spot and walked down to the Naples Pier.  The sand was so soft and beautiful; finer than sugar.  There were people and cars clogging the streets and sidewalks.  We left and drove to the Texas Roadhouse for lunch.  We got fuel and returned to the campground.

      New Year’s Eve came and went while we slept away.  We went to bed at 10:30 p.m.  There were fireworks going off all night.  We were wakened at midnight when there was an influx of joyous noise.

2023 Dec 30 (Sat) – We went to breakfast at Hoots this morning.  It was a small café but bustling with business.  I had corned beef hash with eggs and Paul had some kind of Mexican dish.  Everything was very good.

      After breakfast, we went to WalMart for groceries.  The exterior was not like the average store.  Paul joked that because we are in a rich neighborhood, they didn’t want it to look like a WalMart so they made it quite fancy.  Inside was pretty much the same except that there were 37 self check-out lanes and only 2 cashier lanes, both of which were closed.  I found someone to come check us out.

2023 Dec 29 (Fri) – We packed up, stopped at the dump outside the gate, then proceeded on our way to Naples where we are staying at Marco Naples RV Resort.  This is another of the gargantuan commercial company RV parks.  We are here for 3 nights.  Naples is a very high end city with lots of manicured lawns and residential communities.  Our campsite is on a concrete pad fit between two mobile homes.  We have full hook-ups.  The resort has bocci ball, a pool, horseshoes, and 2 dog parks.  The mobile homes are tightly fit in with open spaces here and there for RVs that come and go (like us).

2023 Dec 28 (Thu) – We took down our Christmas tree and all the decorations, packed them away, and restored the rig to pre-holiday status.  It looks kind of empty now.  At 4 p.m. we drove to Marathon.  Traffic was heavy and we got there at 5:15 p.m.  We were planning to have dinner with Tim at the Cracked Conch.  However, Tim was worried we wouldn’t get our food in time to make Show Me The Money at the American Legion at 6 p.m. so we picked him up at the restaurant and drove on to the legion.  We all had hot dogs.  Carrie met us there.  We played cards for 2 hours.  Carrie was very lucky and won several games. Paul saw Tim and Carrie share an intimate kiss.  Guess they are more than just friends.  Good for him!

      At 8:30 p.m. we said our good-byes and headed back to get ready for tomorrow’s move.

2023 Dec 27 (Wed) – We drove to Key Largo to mail off a package we were returning.  I ordered (what I thought was) a heating pad, but when it arrived it was a huge sauna blanket.  Too big for RV living so I returned it.  Next door was Ferdinand The Bull Cuban restaurant.  We both had Cuban sandwiches.  I didn’t care for the bread but it was tasty.

      We met Carl & Shirley (SMART friends) and Tim at the Old Tavernier Restaurant for dinner.  We sat out on the patio.  The menu was interesting and everything was quite expensive.  I felt bad for Tim who wound up ordering the cheapest thing on the menu (lasagna) and still forked over a large share of the bill ($40).  We then all drove to the Elks Lodge where we played the Queen of Hearts.

2023 Dec 26 (Tue) – We did the laundry this morning.  Drove to a laundromat down the road that had bags and bags of laundry all over the place.  My impression is that they are the only laundry for miles around.  And they take in laundry for all the resorts and hotels in the area.  It was expensive, too.  The small washer cost $3.50 and the dryer was $0.25 for 5 minutes.  It was over $14 by the time we were done.

      A thick fog rolled in this afternoon.  Everyone claims it’s weird.  They never get fog.  It stayed all afternoon and into the night.  We drove to Marathon, got on Tim’s tiki boat, and rode to the Dockside Bar & Grill where we met Carrie.  After some food and drink, we drove to the American Legion where we played bar poker.

2023 Dec 25 (Mon – Christmas Day) – We picked a turkey breast up at Winn Dixie yesterday.  I cooked it this morning, then we brought the turkey and cranberry sauce to Tim’s.  Tim cooked a ham.  It rained and we sat around his boat for an hour.  During a lull in the rain, Paul and Tim went down to the store to pick up soda.  One of Tim’s neighbors came over and invited us to sit on his boat because he had a cover over the deck.  So we traipsed over there.  There were 9 of us in total and we enjoyed a Christmas meal with the food everyone brought.  It was a very pleasant day.

2023 Dec 24 (Sun) – Paul and I met Tim and Carrie for Christmas morning service at the Marathon Community Church.  They used to be part of the Methodist Church but they broke away.  Much of the service was very much like that of the Methodist Church. 

      After church, the four of us went to the Cracked Conch for brunch.  Three of us ordered corned beef hash, eggs and potatoes.  Paul ordered creamed chipped beef.  The waitress brought four orders of creamed chipped beef.  We sent 3 back; they left one because they were only going to throw them out any way.  Everything came on a separate dish – the eggs, the potatoes, the toast, the hash.  There were way too many dishes on the table.

      When we finished, we got on Tim’s tiki boat and rode to the Dockside Bar.  We sat on the patio and had cocktails.  At 3, we left and returned to the campground for a potluck meal at the Elks lodge.  At 5:30 p.m. we went into the lodge and enjoyed the assortment of foods people brought.  Again, there were way too many cheese and cracker dishes.  As we were leaving at 6:30, we ran into Carl & Shirley.  They were on previous caravans with us.  We plan to have dinner with them on Wednesday.  We said a quick hello then hurried out to attend the 7 p.m. candlelight service at the United Methodist Church down the road. 

2023 Dec 23 (Sat) – Paul and I went to Doc’s Diner for breakfast this morning.  Tim recommended it and it was quite good.  I had corned beef hash with eggs and grits; Paul had sausage and gravy.  We drove to Marathon and met Tim at the American Legion for a gingerbread house making contest.  Paul and Tim concentrated very hard on their project.  I made a gingerbread man.  The guys won the contest!  I think it was the campfire (complete with flames made out of licorice) and the chimney with fire that did the trick.  I was the only person to make a gingerbread man so I won it all.

      Afterward, there was a potluck dinner.  There were way too many cheese and cracker dishes but we were able to fill up.

2023 Dec 22 (Fri) – Everyone took off today.  Chris drove Susan to Miami for her flight back to New York, then returned to his new digs in Jacksonville.  Dennis & Denise decided to leave and head back to their condo in Myrtle Beach, S.C.  And Greg & Potsy left to go back home to Sarasota.  It’s just us and Tim again until we leave.

      We took the day to just kick back and relax.  Paul is reworking our route since our planned caravan has been cancelled.  I worked on various projects to include my new book.  At 5:30 p.m. we went into the lodge for dinner. 

2023 Dec 21 (Thu) – The weather was overcast and drizzly today.  The group had talked about bicycling over the bridge to Pigeon Key but cancelled out.  Paul and I did some shopping at Winn Dixie.  Chris and Susan walked across the 2 miles to Pigeon Key.  Dennis and Denise went shopping for sandals and tee-shirts.  At noon, Susan, Chris, Tim, Paul and I went to the American Legion for lunch.  Then we met Dennis and Denise at the Pigeon Key Train Depot.  Greg and Potsy arrived to meet us there as well and we all took the little trolley across the old railroad bridge turned walkway to Pigeon Key.  There we took a tour of the island where 400 workers used to live on the island while the rail line was being built.

      When we got back, some of us met at the Dockside Inn for drinks.  Then, they all ran back to their respective hotels to get their gifts.  We met at the Florida Keys Steak & Lobster House for a Christmas dinner.  We had a Santa swap (each person put a gift in and took one gift out).  It was fun.  We had a great time.  The last time all six of us were together was eleven years ago in May of 2012.

2023 Dec 20 (Wed) – Chris and Susan moved out of Skip Jacks this morning and went to the Hampton Inn.  Apparently, the place they gave them to stay is a condo that is being lived in.  When Chris pulled out the bed on the couch, there was sand and dirt, a screw driver, a half eaten dog bone, etc.  They were so grossed out!  Whoever lives there just threw their stuff in a closet and vacated.  

      We drove to Key West with Chris and Susan.  Parked in back of the Navy base for free and walked the town.  We saw the Butterfly Museum and had lunch at the Moon Dog Café.  Then we took Chris to see the USCGC Ingham.  It brought back memories for him (he’s retired from the Coast Guard). 

      When we got back at the foot of the 7-Mile bridge, we met Tim for dinner at the Sunset Grill.  Dennis & Denise had arrived and also met us at the restaurant for dinner. 

2023 Dec 19 (Tue) – Susan and Chris flew in today.  We met them at their hotel, Skip Jacks, and went to dinner at the Cracked Conch.  When done, they returned to their hotel and Tim and I went to the American Legion for their membership meeting.  I was somewhat surprised by the lack of officers.  The commander filled all roles – adjutant, vice commanders, treasurer – and ran the entire meeting by himself.  It took about a half hour.  When done, we filed out into the bar and played bar poker.  Paul had dropped Sue & Chris off at their hotel and came back to the post.  He won one game.

2023 Dec 18 (Mon) – We drove to Marathon to meet Tim.  It was an almost hour drive!  I don’t remember it being so far away.  We met Tim at the American Legion but they had run out of lunch food.  So we hopped in our vehicles and drove to the Cracked Conch for lunch.  It was a cute little beachy place.  Paul had fried scallops, Tim and I had cheeseburgers.

      After lunch, Tim took us out on his Tiki boat.  It was a very pleasant ride with a fairly strong wind blowing.  There was a touch of coolness in the wind but not bad.  I am always so amazed at all the people who live in their boats out on the water.  The city has 250 mooring points where a person can anchor to and live for just $350 a month.  There is a pump out service from the city and a facility where people can shower and do laundry.  It’s certainly a different way of life.  Tim keeps his boat tied to the dock because he wants to have electric service.  He says the state also has mooring points for hook ups as well.  There were certainly a load of boats out on the water with very few open points.

      When we got back, we drove back to the American Legion where we played bar bingo (it’s bingo at the bar instead of tables).  It is a very nice post.  The bingo caller was clearer a man trying to be female with shorts, a blouse with open shoulders, longish hair and painted nails.  S/he is called Victoria and has a slew of tattoos left over from his days in the military.  They played 12 games, each on a sheet of paper with 6 cards printed on it.  There were different games to play which kept things interesting.  All of us won a game and when all was said and done, Paul and I basically broke even. 

2023 Dec 17 (Sun) – It rained this morning, then cleared up.  We were able to pack up without rain pouring down on us.  Thank goodness!  We left Key West at 9:15 a.m. and drove up-Island for 2 hours until we arrived at the Elks Lodge in Tavernier a little after 11 a.m.  The gate was closed and I called the camp host to admit us.  We were shown to our spot - #5.  Paul pulled in, swung around, and backed the RV in like the pro he is.  We are along the fenceline with close access to the side entrance where the bathrooms are.  Since we have no sewer hookup, we need to be careful to limit our water usage.  We can usually last 10 days with no sewer.  We have to kick it up a little to make the 12 days we will be here.

      I called my brother, Tim, to say we were here.  He said Sundays are his “busy” days (as if you could be busy retired and living in the Keys) so we agreed to meet him tomorrow.

      The sky is blue and nearly cloudless.  There is evidence the storm passed through today.  In fact, everyone says this was a really unusual storm because it lasted so long and intensified as the week went on.  There are puddles and pooling everywhere.  At one point during our drive, we could see where the water came up and covered the roadway.  There are parts along the drive from Key West where the islands are very thin with the Atlantic Ocean on one side and the Gulf of Mexico on the other side.

2023 Dec 16 (Sat) – The weather was miserable today.  It poured hard on and off between light rains.  The wind blew in very strong gusts, even knocking the Starlink satellite over. We didn’t want to go out, but we needed fuel for tomorrow’s move.  So, we got gas on base for $1 less than the station right outside the gate.  While out, we stopped at Kennedy Café for lunch.  It was a Greek restaurant and we both had gyros.  There was a 5 or 6 year old girl following the waitress around.  She brought my water when the waitress brought Paul’s tea, then gave me a menu.  Cute until she gets hurt.  She was hopping and bopping around the place with her little tutu and sparkly shoes. 

      There was a quick stop at the NEX to look for pirate booty (which we did not find), then back to the RV.  Travis called this morning.  Noah was also on the phone and asked us to get some pirate booty for them.  We will continue to look for it.  Wish we’d known the past week we’ve been here.  We walked past sooooo many gift shops.  We’ll still be in the Keys on Islamorada and we can search there.

2023 Dec 15 (Fri) – We went to the aquarium this morning.  It was a little misty with spotty rain.  The aquarium was something of a disappointment.  It was small and the outside tank was overcrowded with large fish.  There were 7 nurse sharks, groupers, tarpon, red drums, etc. all swimming around (the nurse sharks actually just lay around).  A staff member gave a demonstration and fed some of the different kinds of fish, including the sharks.

      After the aquarium, we walked into town and had lunch at Irish Kevin’s.  We thought it was an Irish restaurant but it turned out to be more of a bar that sold some food.  No shepherd’s pie.  We indulged and each had a margarita (since we started dieting about 2 weeks ago, we have given up alcohol).  I had a cheeseburger and Paul had some kind of fish.

      When we were back at the trailer, I got a call from the camp host at the Elks Lodge, where we are headed on Sunday.  She wanted to know when we were arriving today.  I told her we wouldn’t be in for 2 days.  There was some confusion about when we were scheduled to arrive.  I looked at the registration form I filled out on line and discovered I had signed off on an arrival date of December 15, not 17.  Oops!  I agreed to pay the 2 days since they held the space for us rather than renting it to someone else.  It’s incidents like this that make me worry about my mental capacity.  It doesn’t happen often but when it does, I ponder my brain.  It would be awful to contract Alzheimer’s or dementia.  We see a lot of folks in our travel group that suffer the disease.  It’s unsettling to know that you are in the age group that is susceptible to that.

2023 Dec 14 (Thu) – We drove into town this morning and mailed off 163 Christmas cards.  Whew!  Then we drove to the Little White House.  President Truman took his vacations here during his presidency and even after he left office.  He claimed he got more work done when he was down in the Keys as opposed to being in Washington, D.C.  The house was lovely.  Many presidents and dignitaries visited and/or stayed in the house.

      We then walked downtown to have lunch at Fogartys.  We sat out on the patio and watch chickens and pigeons flock around the area.  There are loads of chickens all around the area.  Reminds me of Hawaii.  We then drove to Fort Zachary Taylor.  It was an old fort built in 1845.  It was intended to protect the Straits of Florida, Key West Harbor, and the Gulf of Mexico.  The fort was used in the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, WWI, WWII, and the Cuban Missile Crisis.  It was the longest serving U.S. coastal fortification, serving from 1861-1947.

      When we drove out of the park, we noticed the USCGC Ingham.  It was the largest Coast Guard ship I have ever seen.  We had to explore it.  We bought tickets and went onboard.  They offer cocktails by sunset on Fridays.  The history of the 76-year-old ship was very interesting. 

      By the time we finished our tour, it was raining pretty good.  We came back to the campground and did the laundry.

2023 Dec 13 (Wed) – The bicycle company dropped off the bikes this morning.  The bike fits although it feels like my knees come up a little high.  We put them under the overhang and will take them out when the weather clears up.  We told him to pick them up on Saturday.

      Then we drove into town and had lunch at the Cuban Coffee Queen.  It was a small café in an indoor mall.  We got our meal and sat in the aisle outside.  We toured the Audubon House.  My cousin, Denise, has worked there for many years and when I mentioned her name, we were ushered right in.  The house went through several owners.  Finally, it was renovated and renamed the Audubon House in honor of John Audubon who stayed in the house for a while.

      Next, we went to the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum.  Mel was born in Indiana and moved to California.  He became in the new sport, scuba diving.  He opened a dive shop and did snorkel and scuba until discovering shipwrecks.  He went on to wrecking (diving on shipwrecks) and moved his family to Florida.  He searched for 16 years until he discovered a Spanish galleon with a cargo valued at over half a billion dollars in 1985.  The ship had sunk in a storm off the Florida Keys.  It turns out there were many ships that sank during storms sailing from Cuba to Spain.  Mel made quite a living diving on the wrecks.

      After we got back to the campground, we finished up the Christmas cards for mailing.

2023 Dec 12 (Tue) – We drove over to the ITT office and got military tickets to a few attractions.  Paul also arranged to rent 2 bikes.  Unfortunately, they are NOT electric.  I hope I can manage it.  We’ll see when they deliver them tomorrow.

       We drove into town and had lunch at the Stoned Crab.  The waitress seemed to forget us.  I kept staring down the aisle looking for her.  Finally, the hostess noticed and went to get our waitress.  The meal was OK but nothing to write home about.

      We drove over to Office Max to get ink for the printer.  We also stopped at CVS to pick up a statin the doctor prescribed for me.  I put it aside while I mull over taking it.  Maybe I’ll put it in the drawer with the high pressure medicine.  When we came out of CVS, we noticed a hair cutting salon.  Paul needed a haircut badly.  It’s been too windy for me to do it outside, so we went in.  While in there, I had a hairdresser also trim my hair.  I asked her if she could fix a bad cut.  She looked at my hair and went, “Oy Vay!”  It looks much better now.  And the black lowlights have begun to fade and blend in better.  I like the way it looks now.

      When we got back to the campground, there was a note on our door from the camp host.  There is a weather report calling for high winds and local flooding caused by rain.  Wish we had known before we rented the bikes.

2023 Dec 11 (Mon) – We stayed in all day.  I began working on writing our Christmas and getting cards ready to assemble.  The weather was kind of crappy anyway.  At 5 p.m., we walked over to the Sunset Grill for dinner.  We had wine with it and wanted to watch the sun set but it was too cloudy.  Oh, well.  Another day.

2023 Dec 10 (Sun) – We drove around town to check out the sites.  We stopped at Winn Dixie for a few items and Paul picked himself up a bagel at a small shop near the grocery store.  I picked up a prescription at CVS.  It is a statin the doctor wants to start taking for cholesterol.  I am reluctant to do this and the bottle sits on the shelf for now. 

2023 Dec 9 (Sat) – We packed up and left Sunrise at 9 a.m.  It was a 4-hour drive to Key West.  We are camped at the Sigsbee Naval Air Station (NAS) campground.  The campsites are very tight and the campground is full.  We have been trying to get into this campground for a couple of years.  We wanted to stay here because so many folks talk about camping here.  Now that we have done it, I hope that’s the end of coming here.  We are mountain people, not beach people.

      There is a lounge right in the campground.  We walked over and sat on the deck with a glass of wine and watched the sun set.  The campground is right on the Gulf of Mexico and the front row of campsites faces the water.

2023 Dec 8 (Fri) – We packed up and drove to the dump site where we emptied our tanks.  Then we had to stop at the store to return a remote control they gave us in case we were out late and needed to open the gate upon our return.  We had to put $40 down in deposit and when I gave it back, they refunded the $40.  The clerk was different than the one from yesterday, so I told her I lost my membership card.  She said there was supposed to be a charge to get a new card but she just gave it to me.  We then drove to George’s body shop where I presented him with the card.  I filled it in with me as the member and George as my husband.  Hopefully, it will work for him.

      The drive was pleasant until we got into the Palm Beach/Miami/Ft Lauderdale area.  Then the traffic ground down and we crawled to our destination.  We are camped at Markham County Park in Sunrise, Florida.  We stayed here two years ago on the way down to the memorial for Tim’s son, Joey.  It is a huge park with loads of activities – shooting range, skeet range, BMX track, archery range, several dog parks, volley ball, etc.  Our campsite is in section B in a wagon wheel formation.  It is very nice, on grass, with full hookups.

      After set up, we drove to town (about a half mile away) to do a little shopping and get fuel.  We came back and drove around the park.  It is very impressive.

2023 Dec 7 (Thu) – We drove over to meet George at his place of work this morning – AutoHaus Body Shop.  He showed us around and introduced us to his new dog, a rottweiler.  Beautiful animal but he calls it dumb.  We went to lunch in George’s new Audi electric car.  Our meal was at Muddies, a small but very nice café.  Next door was a Rope Store. We had to go in and check it out.  They really sell ropes and all kinds of lines.

      After lunch, we went back to the shop.  Paul mentioned that there are spots on our truck that he can’t get out.  He asked George about it.  When he looked at the truck, he said the spots were caused by battery acid.  The only place that could have happened was when Paul had the truck in the shop back in Greenville, SC, while I was in NY.  The garage said the batteries were bad and sold us two new ones.  It looks like someone dropped a battery in front of the truck and acid splashed across the right front panel of the truck.  George took pictures and made up an estimate of cost to repair the damage.

      When we got home, Paul called the Ford dealer and told them about the damage.  The manager told Paul to send pictures.  I emailed the estimate and pictures.  We’ll see what happens.

At 5:30, we drove to Dolphin’s Waterfront Grill & Bar where we met George (Linda was at a Christmas party with her bible study group), Denise & Matthew.  Denise is George’s sister and Melody’s cousin.  Matthew is her new boyfriend.  They have been dating for six months and seemed very happy together.  We enjoyed a delightful meal while we reminisced about our growing years.

2023 Dec 6 (Wed) – We left Kings Bay, GA, at 10 a.m.  It was a long drive with two stops – one at the visitor center at the border and the second at one of the largest Buc-ee’s we have ever seen.  It had 120 gas pumps and 240 fill stations.  Inside was like a combination department store, country store, and gas station.  The place was so busy with traffic jams outside by cars looking for parking.  We wound up parking on the curb because there was no parking.  The “station” was packed with lots of energy going on.  There was a smoked meats sandwich counter and a fudge/candy station.  We shopped for a gift for family. 

      We arrived at KARS (NASA’s recreation park and campground) on Merritt Island at 3 p.m.  This is the 4th time we have camped here.  We came because they give a second membership card to use the facility for a family member.  Because NASA has been revitalized and demand is back up, they stopped giving the additional membership card.  We gave those cards to George & Linda.  He will be disappointed to hear this.  We were assigned a sign right on the water front of the Banana River.  They have improved the campground a lot since we were last here.  They put in new electric stanchions and a second dump station.  The American Legion post is active with meetings 3 times a month.  We have never seen this post do anything in the past.

      At 5 p.m., we drove to George & Linda’s home.  We visited for a while then they drove us to a restaurant names in honor of Ernest Hemingway.  It was a unique place and the food was good.  We all celebrated with “traditional” margaritas.  We returned to their home then drove back to the campground at 9:30 p.m. 

      I was so tired, I went to bed.  Paul stayed up to watch a lift off from Kennedy Space Center.  The complex is directly across the river and offers spectacular views of rocket launches.  Although I had fallen asleep, I was awakened at 12:08 p.m. when the RV shook with the force of the list-off.       

[bike42]

Monday September 18, 2023

Nice morning - yoga and breakfast and we were in the library at 8:30am to pick up our lunch boxes, whatever snacks we wanted for the day, and to have our daily briefing.

Jenn described that there are 282 Munro’s (mountains over 3000 feet) in Scotland and it’s sport to “bag” them all! We’ll walk on the foothills of a few of them, but not to the top. Some people vie for bagging them in record time in a self propelled manner - cycling or paddling to reach them!

The leaders decided not to offer the 11 mile hike today due to the rain last night. They’re concerned about slippery conditions. All 17 of us opted for the eight-mile, 1000 ft gain (most of it in the beginning) option. They enlisted the Local Taxi Driver, Donald McDonald (supposedly they’re two of them in town) to help with the shuttle today.

It was a quick 15 minute drive to the trailhead. Keith had said we might meet a Stag named “Collin” at the car park, and he was there to greet us and ask for a handout. I was kind of shocked when Keith fed him a banana. Seems wrong to encourage what should be a wild animal in that manner! Jenn said the locals look after him year around and a vet even comes by to check on him. Still seemed wrong.

We climbed a bit, then as we overlooked and old homestead, Keith gave us a chat on “Highland Clearances.” Ruins like the one we were viewing, are known in Scotland as “scars on the land”. After Industrial Revolution, the land was “cleared” of original landowners - many were offered one-way tickets to US / Australia / Patagonia. If they didn’t leave, the “sheriff” tore off the roof and burned the house. The land was developed into large hunting lodges and sheep grazing. Scotland’s system of land ownership is said to be one of the world’s most inequitable: 83 percent of the land is privately owned, and about half of it is owned by just 500 families - many not from Scotland originally, or living outside of Scotland.

People in this area had a great cultural hub - exported whisky. Many sheep herders from this area did go to Patagonia, and came back. The old traditions are being reestablished, which is refreshing.

Right to Roam - runs deep with Scottish people! Before “The Clearances,” many Scottish families earned their livelihood as “sustenance farmers” on public lands. Now land ownership is concentrated in a few hands, but all are free to enter and landowners must maintain the trails.

Keith grabbed a handful of Spagham Moss. He squeezed it to show us how it retains water. Dried out, it can be used as a wound dressing. Compacted, it becomes a peat bog. Keith’s grandma told him be careful of the Bog man (precursor of the boogie man). Bogs can be used to pickle and preserve things (bog butter).

This area would have had trees in the medieval days - lumber used for building and fires. Landowners now keep it open as a heather meadow for hunting purposes.

Jenn talked a lot, or rather, wondered out loud, about the creation of this landscape - water and glaciers, sedimentary rock and sandstone. It’s clear to see the glacier involvement, but were there also volcanoes and/or earthquakes? Such lovely, yet different rock and scenery. And the power of water - so much water coming out of the mountains and making its way to the sea!

A first for us while hiking, we took a break about an hour into the hike and Keith pulled out a bottle of Whisky and small paper cups. I skipped the cup and had him add a dram to my tea flask - hit the spot. As our break time was ended, it started to rain so I put my rain pants on. Since it had also gotten a little chilly, I added my puffy jacket under my rain jacket thinking I’d take it off in a bit … I didn’t!

The group started splintering, Kelli had a busted boot and Keith tried to tape it up for her, but it slowed them down. We got behind 4 others and the ladies seemed to be having a tough time with the terrain and were taking it slow. We all stepped aside to let some crazy mountain bikers through, and Jeff and I took the opportunity to pass them and work on catching up with the others (the 4 from WI and the 3 ladies). We caught them, but then had a stop in the rain so Jeff and I decided to sit and eat some lunch. Jules was there too, having hiked up from the end.

We continued our hike, odd being all alone now, but we enjoyed the solitude and the trail was obvious so we didn’t have concerns of being lost. The rain came and went, but we were warm inside our rain suits. The river grew larger and the number of waterfalls dumping into it increased in numbers and volume - very spectacular.

We reached the parking lot and found two Backroads vans (a third had driven away just as we reached the end of the trail). John and Rhydian (the newlyweds) were there, along with the coolers full of drinks. I grabbed a Gin and Tonic and climbed in the van as the rain increased and I wanted to finish my lunch! About 15 minutes later, Jules came back and picked up the 4 of us and delivered us back to the hotel.

We went up to our room. Jeff showered, then I took a long, not bath. I could barely stand afterwards - maybe it was too hot. I laid on the bed trying to cool off enough to get dressed with JT napped. We dressed, grabbed some umbrellas and walked to another bar/restaurant on property for a wine tasting session, followed by dinner.

The wine tasting was led by Shane, originally from France. He came to The Torridon six years ago for a six month gig, but fell in love with it here. He said what he likes best is the people are so nice! He added “you know how we are in France!” We tried three difference single malts - I liked all, but preferred the non-peaty varieties. Here are some other facts we learned:

Five Types of Scotch

Single Malt

Blended Malt Scotch Wiskey

Single Grain (corn etc added to Barley)

Blended grain

Blended scotch (Johnny Walker Red)

France is the top consumer of Scotch Whiskys

The Angels Share - check out the movie

We had a nice dinner sitting with John and Rhydian, learning more about them. Afterwards, we headed back to the main building and had a nightcap (Scottish version of Bailey’s on the rocks) and chatted more with Shane.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Dangerous Woman- Part 3

Pairing: Fezco (Euphoria) x Reader

Song for Part: "Lights Up"- Harry Styles

Summary: Maddy convinces the reader to go another party, knowing full well that a familiar drug dealer will be there to see the readers every move. She dresses her up like one of her dolls, getting her ready and hoping that she can be deemed as the best wingwoman of all time. But will she be successful? Or will things end badly?

Warnings: Swearing, angst, sexual comments, and drugs. One sickly sweet wholesome moment lol.

Word Count: 3k

A/n: Here's part 3, sorry if I've been slacking on Fezco lately, I'm not trying to do it purposely. My Elliot fics have been very comforting for me to write and have done my mental health good over the last few difficult days.

“I’m telling you, Y/n/n. You don’t know half the shit about Fezco that you should.” Maddy smirks, her eyes dancing over to me as she turns onto the booming street. I roll my eyes at the girl, my eyes flickering to look out the window. I already had the idea in my head that he would be here, sitting, selling like the good business man that he is. I already had a plan in my head to go over and see him, flirt with him, maybe do more if the moment seems right. I found it fun to make his head spin like a top, his freckled cheeks heat up at my words. It filled me with all sorts of butterflies, just loving getting any type of reaction out of him. Turning my attention down the road, people already spill out of the busy house can be seen a mile away, the sound of the blasting music already hurting my ears as we approach. I never underestimated high school parties and their ability to fill up like a concert. The party only started ten minutes ago and it was loud enough already to justify a noise complaint. Not that I minded. The loud music and copious amounts of people meant good alcohol and lots of it. “In fact, he’s probably here tonight.” She throws me a wink and a pretty smile, parking the car as my heart thumps against my ribs.

I’m gonna be honest, the amount of utter bullshit that’s come out of my mouth over the last few weeks is incredible. It must be a record at this point. I’ve talked big game to Fez, over the phone and through texts since the day Ash caught me outside of their house. The words were flirty, my pictures not even close to being appropriate and nor were his responses. The texts that I would wake up to in the morning from her were also not the post PG. I had confidence to say what I wanted behind the screen, sure, sending him things that I would refuse to say to him in person. So, the thought of seeing him after weeks of building tension, rocked me to my core.

He was a strong dude. I knew this, I’ve known this as long as I’ve known him. He knew what he wanted and you could tell by the look in his eyes. I knew that he wanted me from his quickly typed out curses in reply to pictures of me in front of my mirror, lacking respectable clothing. I had no shame but neither did he. And he was the one who was going to be able to come up to me, not a care in the world. He wouldn’t care who was watching, where we were, or the consequences that go along with his unholy actions.

It excited me and also made me want to curl up in a ball under his gaze.

Maddy could tell I was just dying inside, her eyes flickering over my nervous face. She reaches over, securely wrapping her arm around mine, her heels leading us into the busy house as she smiles beautifully. I felt a little weird coming with her, knowing that everyone’s eyes would be on her the moment that we walked through the front door. And I was right. Everyone seemingly stops what they’re doing, their eyes trailing up and down the both of us as we make our way through the living room and towards the back patio.

This obviously wasn’t our first party together, but this was the first time I ever let her dress me.

It was tight, I’ll give her that. The black sequined material complementing the black mascara on my eyelashes. The glitter that dawns my collarbones and chest makes me definitely stand out, it catching in the light every time I would move in the slightest. Once I confessed and told Maddy about my history with Fez, though it was purley sexual so far, she was adamant on making me stand out. To tease him, to make him itch to be next to me, to give him something pretty to look at. She had good taste when it came to dressing me up like a doll, knowing exactly how to put my hair up, what shoes to wear, what perfume to spray would drive him wild when he would be close enough to me to smell it. I’ll give her all the credit in the world if this ends with me getting my back blown out.

I pray it does.

Stepping onto the grass, I smile at Maddy who gives me a little wiggle of her eyebrows, her eyes peering past me. Confused, I take a moment, my head craning to look behind me. My eyes can the busy crowd by the big, stone fireplace, all of their smiles making a smile raise to my lips. That’s another thing I like about high school parties, no fighting, no tension, just eager glances and happy faces. When my eyes finally find him, the breath leaves my lungs completely as if it were stolen. He’s sitting comfortably, a joint between his fingers and his knees spread as he looks to the man next to him. He must’ve tidied up his beard, the hair being a bit shorter, but equally as handsome. He looks perfect. He wears a simple t-shirt and sweats, his normal chain dancing around his neck as it reflects the light of the fire. There’s at least ten eager teenagers lining up next to him, he brushes a few of them off, before his eyes move elsewhere.

When his eyes lock with mine, I feel as if I could pass out then and there.

His eyes widen slightly, the world moving in slow motion as he smiles, my cheeks warming at the sight. He looks almost excited, his back stretching to sit up straighter as he glances away nervously for a moment. I had never seen him so bashful, so sheepish. His gaze returns to mine after a few moments, my face softening as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, a nervous tic that I’ve picked up on.

His eyes are inviting, warm, as he looks at me, the opposite of how I thought he would be looking at me by now. Our friendship, relationship, whatever you want to call it, had been purely sexual up to this moment. But now, something’s shifted, changed.

There’s no sense of lust in his eyes, no carnal need. No, it’s much more simple than that. Admiration, infatuation, the soft smile on his lips sickly sweet. It does the opposite of what I thought it would do. I thought that I would be nervous by now, looking away as my cheeks heat up but I can’t find it in me to look away. He glows in the light of the fire, his eyes now moving to rake down my body as I turn back to Maddy. She squeals at me, doing a little dance as she takes my hands in hers.

“Oh my fucking god, girl. He is drinking you up!” She cheers, swinging our arms back and forth as I giggle, my head thrown back in laughter. “Oh you have to go sit with him- go.” She shoves me away from her, sending me a reassuring smile and a wink. “Text me!” She calls out, nodding me over in his direction again, my feet finally carrying me over to where she wants me to go.

I watch Fez intently as he watches me, his eyes trained on my legs as I grin, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. By the time I reach him, we’re both breaking apart at the seams. He takes the blunt out from between his lips, his smile growing as I sit down next to him. No words are exchanged, just the blunt, the drug being lifted to my lips as I can take a deep, refreshing breath.

“How you doin’ tonight?” Fez asks, his fingers brushing against mine as he takes the joint back, his eyes flickering up to mine. My cheeks warm at his gaze, my tongue darting out to wet my lips.

“Good, now.” I reply simply, a chuckle rumbling through his chest as he looks down at the fire. I can tell by the blush on his cheeks and the bouncing of his right knee that I make him nervous, the thought giving me even more confidence to keep talking. “Haven’t seen you in a bit.” I add, his eyebrows raising teasingly as I flirt. “I mean, you’ve seen me but…” I trail off, my head resting on the pillow behind me as I get comfortable, assuming I’m gonna be here a while.

As long as he’s here, so am I.

“You been makin’ my life a livin’ hell over the last few weeks, woman. That’s all you gotta say to me?” He chuckles, my eyes rolling playfully as I take my que, scooting a bit closer to him. His arm instinctively lays behind me on the couch, my leg crossing over the other to rest the toe of my heel against his calf. His eyes linger on mine for a moment before he glances away, skimming his gaze down my legs. “You look mad pretty.” He whispers, loud enough for only me to hear it, my eyebrows perking up as I grin like an idiot.

“So you’re saying you missed me?” I tease, his head bobbing in a hesitant nod as I giggle. “I missed you too, Fez.” I smile, my hand reaching over to take the joint from between his lips. I take a few hits, the smoke lingering in my lungs before I blow it out into the already cloudy air. He watches my every move, a small smirk on his face as his hands fidget in his lap.

“I like when you say my name.” He adds suddenly, my heart skipping a beat as I smile softly, the words igniting something within my chest. “In more ways than one.” He chuckles lowly, my thighs clenching together as he smirks, his gaze picking up on the movement. I gently rest my hand against my thigh, his eyes stuck on my fingers, the rings sparkling in the light of the fire. He seems to get so simply caught up in my every move, his eyes glued to me and his breath trapped in his throat.

“You should come dance with me.” I offer, my body turning to tilt my head at him. He watches me intently with a smile, his eyes flickering down to the necklace around my neck. He laughs sheepishly, his head shaking in a polite decline as his cheeks heat up.

“I don’t dance, ma.” He replies simply, my eyes rolling as I reach forward, my fingers dancing along his chest, his heart beat stuttering under the tips of my fingers.

“Are you sure? Cuz I’ll go find someone who does.” I threaten, his eyes shifting to something far more deadly. “I’m sure there’s plenty of people here who’d love to dance with me.” I add, a forced sigh leaving his lips as he peers over at me. My sassy expression doesn’t fade, not until he sighs, his eyes fluttering closed briefly. His jaw grits, his hand reaching up to gently take my hand off of his chest as he intertwines our fingers. I watch the people next to us out of the corner of my eyes, their wide eyes and small gasps making me laugh. He stands slowly, his head nodding towards the house as I grin, following him like a puppy. He holds onto my hand tightly, my heels clicking against the tile as we enter the house.

Confusion fills me as we pass the room where most people are dancing, worried that I may have upset him with my teasing. But the minute that we turn down the hallway, my worry turns to attraction. Maybe I upset him just the right amount with my teasing. Enough for him to get riddled with jealousy, taking me into privacy to absolutely ravish me. Excitement fills my tummy as he peers at me over his shoulder, a small smile on his lips. He opens the door to our left, holding it open as we enter the spare bedroom, my mind swimming through the fog that the weed created.

“This your plan? Get me riled up?” He asks quietly as he shuts the door, my body bouncing as I hop onto the bed. I watch him as he approaches me, his eyes peering down at me teasingly.

“Maybe.” I whisper, my hands reaching out to grab onto his, a smile forming on his lips at the action. “Maybe I just wanted to make you jealous. Get you alone.” I add, his eyebrows raising as he scoffs.

“Yeah? Why you want me alone?” He asks, leaning down slowly as my heart rate picks up. My breathing stops as his nose nudges against mine, my eyes fluttering shut. “You wanted to dance, let's dance.” He whispers, pulling away from me abruptly as I whine, feeling him tug me to my feet. He gently spins me, my heart swelling at the action as he pulls me into his arms. My arms wind around his neck, his hands firmly secured on my hips as we sway back and forth.

“That’s mean, ya know. Leading a lady on like that.” I whisper, my temple resting against his shoulder as he chuckles, his hands moving to rest on my tailbone.

“Me? Leading you on? I think you’ve got that wrong.” He teases, my cheeks heating up at the memory of the last few weeks. “All talk, aren’t you?” He asks, my walls tumbling down a bit as I nod.

“Do you make a lot of money at parties like this?” I ask, deflecting his need to know me better, my head craning back to look up at him. He shrugs softly, a small smile on his lips.

“You want to talk business? Now?” He asks with a small laugh, my eyes rolling as I pull my lip between my teeth. “No, I don’t want to talk about business. I want to talk about the fact that you been sending me naked pictures and, when you finally get your hands on me, you wanna dance.” He chuckles, a small scoff leaving my lips at his words. My heart swells in embarrassment, my eyes fluttering closed as I tuck my forehead into the crook of his neck. He leans down, his lips skimming against the shell on my ear. “I’m not complaining. Just surprised. Pleasantly surprised.” He whispers, pressing a simple kiss against my temple as my arms move, gently wrapping around his waist. “You don’t gotta act so tough all the time. Not wit’ me.” He whispers, his hands trailing over my open back, fingers dancing along my spine.

“Yeah I do.” I whisper, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as my eyes flutter closed. “You know better than anyone why. People get hurt with what we do.” I add, his head bobbing in a gentle nod, understanding where I'm coming from even if he doesn't like the answer. I look up at him, his blue eyes shining softly as he smiles. A few moments pass, my eyes flickering between his as his eyes move down to my lips as they part. He reaches up, his hands gently resting on my cheeks as I smile nervously up at him. Leaning down, his lips skim against mine, my cheeks hurting from my smile. Holy shit he's gonna kiss me-

But we’re pulled apart by the sound of the door bursting open. Maddy stands there, a mystery man being her as she rolls her eyes.

“Shit, sorry.” She whispers, sending me a sorry smile before pulling herself and the man out of the room. I huff, taking a step away from Fez as he blows out a breath of air, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Uh, why don’t you go sit down at the fire and I’ll get us something to drink?” I offer with a chuckle, rubbing a hand over my forehead as I continue to get even more flustered under his gaze. Holy shit, we almost just kissed didn’t we? He nods, clearing his throat as he turns towards the door, his cheeks red as I smile. I follow him out the door, my hands itching to reach out, taking his hands in mine and to kiss him senselessly. I fight the urge as we make our way back out into the kitchen, parting ways as he sends me a wink. I watch as he leaves the room, my heart still pounding wildly. I fumble with the red cups and the multiple varieties of different types of liquor. I pour the first thing I see into two cups, deciding that these will do their job in getting us hammered. Downing one cup in seconds, needing the liquid confidence, I fill it up once more before deciding it’s good enough.

Making my way back outside with a put together smile, I hold the cups in my hands as I look around the fire. My gaze connects with Fez who sits with a smile on his face, his head turned towards the girl next to him. Jealousy flurries in my belly as he laughs, her hand reaching out to smack against his thigh as she grins. What the fuck? Who the fuck is she?

“What’s Fez doin’ with Lexi Howard?” A familiar voice startles me from behind, the liquid in my cups sloshing as I jump. I turn to see Maddy, her lips swollen and the guy no longer with her. I pout, my eyebrows pulled together as I look back to the couch, both of them still deep in conversation, the girl now closer to him.

“I have no idea.”

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[clairenatural]

suptober 2021 | day 2: no vacancy 

1k words, deancas, quasi-songfic quasi-fluff :)

The rain is coming down in sheets, reducing visibility on the dark road to just a few feet. The only thing cutting through is the all-caps MOTEL sign, its bright red neon bleeding through the rain, and Dean’s had his eye on it for the last half mile like it’s some kind of lighthouse in a storm. He eases the impala into the parking lot and throws it into park, not bothering to make sure he’s actually between the lines, and is preparing himself to step into the downpour when a hand on his arm stops him. “Dean, wait.” With his other hand, Cas points out the blurry windshield.

Dean follows his gaze to the MOTEL sign—and under it, obscured by both the rain and the flickering of its neon—a red NO in front of the vacancy sign. Dean swears under his breath and lets his head fall heavy back against the headrest. They aren’t getting anywhere else, not in this rain, and Dean is so, so tired. Besides, the rain also means nobody’s going to bother them out here—it’s not worth the effort just to come shoo them off. He sighs. “Well,” he twists in his seat, turning to stare forlornly at the backseat. He’s getting too damn old for this. “Looks like it’s the Winchester Road Motel tonight, buddy.” He expects a reply, or a nod, or some acknowledgement, but when he turns back to the passenger seat Cas hasn’t moved. He’s staring out the window at the sign—the NO part keeps flickering on and off. Taunting them.

But Cas is—smiling?

Dean frowns. “Something you want to share with the class?”

“Hm?” Cas answers, distracted, but he does finally turn to face Dean. “Oh, no, I was just—it’s like the song,” he answers, like that explains anything.

“Song?”

“If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the ‘no’s on their vacancy signs; if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I’ll follow you into the dark.” Cas recites the lyrics in a monotone, like he’d memorized them from a textbook.

Dean blinks. He tries not to think too hard about what they actually mean. “What the fuck is that.”

“Death Cab for Cutie.”

“Dude,” Dean stares at him harder. “What the Hell do you listen to while I’m asleep?”

It had been a hard bargain, convincing Dean to let Cas take over sometimes when they were on the road—but it cut their travel time in half, so he’d learned to live with it.

Cas just rolls his eyes and pulls a mixtape out of his pocket—not the one Dean made him, he notes, and tries not to feel any sort of way about that.

He fails, evidently, because Cas catches his eye, smiles, and taps the other side of his coat—the pocket over his heart. Don’t worry, it seems to say. Yours is over here.

Love of mine, someday you will die, but I’ll be close behind; I’ll follow you into the dark.

“—songs I enjoyed, and didn’t want to rely on the radio to find,” Cas is explaining, out loud, and Dean tunes back in to catch the last half of his sentence. He pushes the tape in and presses play, and acoustic guitar fills the car.

Dean huffs and leans back in his seat, if only to stop Cas from noticing his face heat up. “This is crap,” he grumbles.

“It’s calming,” Cas corrects. “And it’s not...untrue.”

Dean can feel him staring, and after a moment he risks turning to meet his gaze, blue and intense as ever. He swallows a lump in his throat that he swears hadn’t been there a moment ago, and when he speaks again his voice comes out sticky. “No. Guess not.”

Cas smiles. Not a big smile, a just-for-Dean smile. The best smile.

They don’t talk anymore, but they let the song play through just like that—watching each other. Dean only notices it’s ended when Cas abruptly leans forward to eject the tape, cutting off the dull empty whirring of the cassette before it can get to its next track.

Dean wants to make a joke, wants to gesture into the dark backseat and say why don’t you follow me into THIS dark and clamber over the bench seat so they can pretend to make out for a few minutes before giving up and going to sleep because they’re old, and tired, and they still have four hours back to Lebanon in the morning.

He doesn’t. The dull drone of rain fills the car in the absence of music, and Cas is staring at him, half-illuminated by the red neon and perfect, and Dean leans over to kiss him. It’s not the first, and it won’t be the last, but Cas treats every kiss like a gift he’s grateful to have been given again, and they only separate when a yawn reminds Dean that his traitor body needs at least some sleep. “Come on,” he grumbles through another yawn, and they awkwardly climb over into the back seat, one at a time, molding themselves into a space not meant for two grown men to share.

Dean’s left arm is pinned uncomfortably under Cas, and his knee is at an angle he knows he’ll pay for in the morning, but Cas’ chest is warm pressed against his and he can feel his smile against his neck, so he’s not complaining. Barely visible from their new position, the NO sign blinks on and off.

“Hey,” Dean mumbles, barely audible over the rain. “I’m really glad I followed you into the dark.”

Cas stills, and for a moment Dean is worried. They’d fought about it, at first, all self-sacrificial and scared to death and what did you do, Dean? and It was a stupid deal in the first place settling into a mutual don’t you ever leave me again. But Cas’ hand just finds his, somewhere in the tangle of limbs, and squeezes. “I am, too.”

The rain drums down. The NO VACANCY sign flickers. They sleep.

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

[insomnia-productions]

anyway here's a short story

. . .

The hood of the car is hot. He lies back on it anyway, feels the gentle scorch of the metal simmering under his jeans. Overhead, the sky is a relentless expanse of blue. No clouds. It’s the kind of sky you could get lost in, if you wanted to, or even if you didn’t. It’s the kind of sky that could reach down and eat you up whole. He stares up into it, into the layers and layers and layers of atmosphere, all pressing down on the earth like a boot stopped just short of an insect underfoot. He stares up into it and imagines his eyes filling up with the blue, pupil and iris and sclera, until it seeps inside him and all his organs are bursting with it, with the infinity of it, and then he rolls off the hood and opens the driver’s side door. Music leaks out from inside the car. Slime turns dispassionate, horizontal pupils on him from the passenger seat. She is a thing of the earth and the mud, and not so easily enamored by the sky. He climbs into the car, turns the radio up loud enough to drown out everything that exists and everything that has ever existed and everything that ever will, and he drives onward, ever onward. 

.

He passes one day in early June sitting cross-legged in a barren field, car parked right bang in the middle of the empty, endless road, watching the bugs that tunnel under and over the old soil. It’s excessive, he thinks, maybe, whiling away so many hours in so unremarkable a place. But, he thinks also, and the thought is freeing as a hand around a throat, just about to press down for the final time: it’s not as though he has anywhere to be.  

And a barren field is not so unremarkable, really, when you sit in it for hours and hours and come to see all the little living parts of it. He watches the industrious bugs and beetles, burrowing into the soil, skittering across its surface, always moving, always knowing, somehow, exactly where they are going and what they are going to do there. He remembers watching a documentary about that, once, about the patterns and paths woven so tightly into those double-helix scripts. The narrative of their entire beings, written painstakingly out in every fundamental part of them. They must never forget their lines. All those stage directions they couldn’t possibly comprehend, but follow anyway. 

The sun is half gone by the time he walks back to the car, the dirt like rust under his feet. There’s a notification on his phone, tossed carelessly on the seat: one missed call. He deletes it.

.

He finds a camera at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. It’s a clunky polaroid, brown and white and a little overpriced, but he is instantly charmed by it, by the improbable fact of its existence here. He places it down on the counter with a pack of candy cigarettes and an overlarge bottle of Fanta. 

The cashier looks at him, or maybe through him. His name tag reads: Bert. 

“Tourist?” Bert asks, ringing him up. 

“Not really.”  Then, mostly to fill the silence,  “I wasn’t expecting to see cameras at a gas station.” 

“Tourists,” Bert says. 

“Oh.” There isn’t so much as a town for miles around. He decides it’s not worth discussion. “Sure.” 

Bert tells him the price; he pays it. 

Again, Bert looks at him, or maybe through him. Through, he concludes after a moment. Bert says, “Where you headed?” 

He contemplates this. There’s only really one answer he can give. “Onward, I guess.” 

Bert shrugs. “Only place you can go, I s’pose.” 

“I s’pose,” he echoes, and finds himself a little discomfited by this response. That his journey could be summed up as something so simple. So easily understandable. 

He wonders how many other twenty-something guys have floated through this little quiet gas station, picking up candy and cameras and going nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, like the whole point is in the nothing of it all. 

He takes his bag, cracks a smile, because it’s better than the alternative. “I guess I’m not so special, huh?” 

Bert doesn’t answer. 

.

So the car fills up with polaroids. 

Slime is his muse, at first. He catalogues the rough spotty ridges of her back, the thin mucusy sheen over her dire slow-blinking eyes, the jelly stretch of her hind legs mid-leap. He gives her flower hats, which she tolerates, and paper capes, which she doesn’t, and he shows her the polaroids and pretends like there is value in the action, like she can look at them and see herself and think oh, yes, that’s me. 

Then he gets bored of that and turns the lens to the world. His car, framed against rows and rows and rows of sunflowers all angled unwavering in the direction of their worship. The road, a straight line as far as he can see and then some, and then some, and then some more. Birds on the ground, looking alien there. Trees with thick gnarled roots washed in dusk light, old and enduring, here long before he was made, here long after he will be unmade. There’s something comforting about that. 

He captures people, too, in the towns and in the cities he passes through, always quickly, always through the back roads. Tall buildings make his skin itch, lately. He drives by squat suburban houses and gothic college dorms and glass towers that kiss the clouds and he thinks if I get out of this car they will see me and they will eat me and I will die, I will die, I will die. He’s not really sure who they are. He keeps the door shut all the same. But there are red lights and traffic jams and his camera sits in his lap now everywhere he goes, so he holds it up to his face, and the streets don’t look so hostile through that little round lens, and he photographs the couples on the crosswalk with their hands swinging together and the children playing in the roads and the men in grey suits sitting all in a row outside the ramen shop and he thinks that they exist in a world that is wholly separate from the one that he has created for himself inside this car. Then the light changes, or the traffic lets up, and he drives, and drives, and drives. He finds that he never mourns the sight of civilization growing small in the rearview. 

He doesn’t take pictures of himself. 

.

They call again. Leave a voicemail this time. He sits with his thumb hovering over the play button for what could be hours or days or decades or two minutes. Then he disables voicemail and switches his phone off. 

.

Sometimes when it rains he sits with his back against the bumper of the car and feels the water soak through his clothes and drip uncomfortably from his hair. There’s a certain sort of glamor to this, he thinks, an inherent romance to the act of giving up, of surrendering yourself to the elements, or maybe to fate. He sits in the rain and that ever-present radio leaks out of the car to score this moment, his moment, and for just this short stretch of time, as long as the rain lasts, or as long as he can bear to sit in it, he is the only real person in the world. 

And then the rain stops, or the water pools a little too deep in his boots, and he squelches back into the car and then, just like that, the world is in motion again, and him just a fractional part of it, a fractional, wet part of it. Reality settles back over his shoulders. There is no glamor in this part. It’s mostly just damp. 

But there is a romance, still. There is always a romance in self pity. 

.

He discovers, sometime in mid July, that he likes to be near the water. 

He finds rivers and streams and ponds and brooks and walks along them for hours, letting them be his guides through the forests and the meadows, breathing in the primeval scent of dirt and moss and stone. He follows paper maps to hidden ponds and great lakes, and stands with his feet in the shallow water by the shore, watching the light shimmer across the ripples he makes, watching little fish dart away from his foreign presence. He sits cross-legged next to motel pools that glow an eerie blue in the night, imagining that the lights are really bioluminescent things, somewhere between plant and animal, and he imagines going to the places where bioluminescent things live. 

In his lap, Slime croaks, her throat expanding, elastic. It sounds like assent. 

“What do you think?” he whispers. “Should we go where the wild things are?” 

It feels a little like a confession, a little like treason. 

Slime croaks. Elastic. Approving. 

He smiles. 

.

The next time he opens his phone, there’s a text right at the very top. 

After all that, it says, simply. 

Yeah, he thinks. After all that. 

The thought isn’t as bitter, doesn’t sting as much as it used to. 

He’s not sure what that means. 

.

July turns to August. Something about that feels significant. He wonders if the significance is inherent to the turn of the calendar, or if it’s something he can choose to keep or discard. Time is different on a road like this. It has a different shape, or a different kind of movement, not shambling along or breezing by but expanding all around. Not a line, but a plane. Like it’s something he can see, in the rolling fields and the white stripe lanes disappearing in the distance, and that relentless blue atmosphere overhead. 

He thinks that maybe this place, so abundant in itself, creates its own time. That time is surplus in a place like this. 

He thinks that maybe this is what immortality feels like. 

.

One day he looks in the mirror and realizes with a small strange jolt that he recognizes himself. 

It’s something he’d lost, in recent years, but as the feeling settles warm and solid into his skin and over his bones he realizes, all at once, that maybe he never had it to begin with. He looks at himself, at his once-tired eyes and his hair-that-needs-a-haircut and the little upwards quirk to his mouth that surely hadn’t been there before and he thinks, oh, yes, that’s me. 

And he thinks, Hello. 

And he thinks, Maybe I should change my name. 

.

Autumn creeps with golden feet through the forests and the meadows and the endless stretch of the road and its fields. It’s the end of something, maybe. It’s the start of something, maybe. He’s not quite sure yet. Tomorrow, as every other day, he will make a decision, and it might be a big one, and it might be a small one, and it might be nothing and it might be the most important thing he ever does, and there is something terrible and wonderful about that. 

But now he sits on the roof of the car, Slime in his lap, and he breathes in space and he breathes out time. Building and rebuilding his little infinity. 

The sun, still summer-hot, reaches down for him. He tilts his face to it. Sometimes, as a child, he would close his eyes to the sun and gaze into the orange glow of his eyelids and imagine that that distant star was scorching right through him, burning away his mind, burning away his organs, setting alight every piece and particle that made up the thing that was him. Today he just lets it warm him. He lies back on the roof, Slime sitting placid on his chest, the insides of him all aglow in orange and blue. He thinks for a little while. 

He decides on a name. 

[4dtk]

NCT127 falling in love with a s/o with a time-consuming job like a lawyer or a doctor

NCT 127 with an s/o who has a time-consuming job

this is so cute, thanks for requesting! i made this in a format in the ways that the boys might show their care when you’re so busy with your job :) long as hell LOL enjoy!!

brief spoilers for shang-chi if you haven’t watched! i just watched it this week lol it was really good

→ TAEIL would direct conversations to a more neutral stance. it’s not that he wants to talk about himself, but sometimes if you don’t want to talk about your case or patients, he easily slips into conversation about theories or his favourite tv show or your rundown of what groceries to take for the next time you head to the supermarket. just really normal small things that take your mind off the stress, especially at night when you’re laying in bed and just before you’re drifting off to sleep, the two of you would engage in a topic that you both know fairly well about and then you’re usually the first to succumb to sleep. taeil purposely picks out topic he knows will excite you (and bc he knows you’re passionate about it, he reads up on it which allows a well-balanced convo). if you’re rambling on about a topic, then he’ll occasionally play the guitar while laying down, just simple melodies that bring a lot of peace to the room.

“wait- how d’you like this melody?” taeil softly says, changing it instantly when you commented on the previous, discordant one. your nod encourages him to carry on with the plucking of his fingers while you yourself continue with your rambles. “so i’m saying right, it seems totally unfair for him, and you’d think that, right? but all he ever does is whine and moan about his misfortunes, plus his character is so terribly written i kinda feel sorry for-“

the halted melody prompts a sharp turn of your turn to the guitar, which you almost collide with, “what?” taeil only shrugs. “nothin’. just like how passionate you get about the show, it’s cute.” your boyfriend smiles after, ignoring how his words affect you and how your cheeks heat up at it.

→ JOHNNY is one to take you out after your work. it’s not to a super intense, high-energy place like a club or anything, but small little dates that won’t take up much time. eating dinner at a restaurant, walk in the park, small cafe trip, strolling through supermarket to make fun of brand names. if you’re too tired that day, he always finds a way to make your time at home fun. from setting up a small karaoke session, to maybe making a pillow fort, to trying out new cuddling positions, he has everything on his mind. always showing you things to cheer you up if you happen, from memes to funny videos. is low-key down for you to review crime/doctor shows too, just to see how accurate they nail it. your time at home is consuming endless pieces of media until your tummies hurt or you’re sniffling at a movie together.

“hold on- lemme show you this video,” johnny’s hand is outstretched to you once he finds the video and your spoon full of food is left near your mouth. you proceed to watch the low quality video which your boyfriend claims to be the funniest video on earth.

W-HOR? WAH? the girl’s finger in the video traces over the word “who” as she struggles to pronounce it, with presumably her sister in the background prompting her. the repeated pronunciation of the word makes you snort, while the wheezing and the loud NO in the background causes you to fully erupt into laughter. johnny simply smiles at another successful attempt to make you smile.

→ YUTA always has a hand on you when you return home. he brings you into a hug, he guides you by your back, you have to eat with one hand bc he can’t keep his hand off of you. he hopes his little touches will ease your tiredness even by a bit and if you don’t want it, he’ll stop, but it’s yuta’s way of showing he cares without words. busy days with yuta usually involve just sitting in silence as you catch up on a show or a series, or even listening to a song in silence and enjoying each other’s company. he will talk if you want to, but if not that’s fine too, preferring more to stroke your hair in silence and think about how much he loves you. becomes very sappy when you’re in the quiet of your room and generally is very fond of the small pockets of time you get to spend before you two fall asleep. likes that you’re so resolute in your job but can be soft around him behind closed doors.

“you comfortable?” yuta calls out, barely above a whisper as he wraps an arm tighter around you. there’s comfortable ministrations that his does with his fingers, massaging the skin under your pajamas while you snuggle deeper into his chest. humming, you tighten your hold around his top.

“i am, yeah,” you can’t care much for the tv show on the screen now, with empty takeout boxes and tissues littering the coffee table. you feel the gentle kiss of yuta on your head before you’re drifting off to dreamland to a scratchy, 60s jazz song playing through the speakers.

→ TAEYONG would always welcome you back with a table set and food ready, always. he knows that food is the way to someone’s heart and you eating his food always makes him happy and offers to clean-up. lets you shower first if you come back together, puts you before himself very often that sometimes you have to tell him to tone it down because you don’t want him ending up more tired than he already is. following up on this, taeyong would show his love by cooking your lunches for you. when he has the time he makes the effort to put it in a nice bento or box for you to eat. he also does the general chores around the house (assuming the two of you live together) so the bed will be a little less messy when you come back, the floor’s cleaner, the countertops aren’t so cluttered with stuff. even if there’s nothing to clean up, he always these small little things before you come back, and even if you don’t notice it, he sees the way you’re able to navigate the space or when you’re more at ease and it makes him smile.

“do you want to shower first?” taeyong calls out softly, admiring the clean house he’s managed to do up before he went to meet you, “i’ll just hang around until you’re done.”

“you need to prioritise yourself too, yong,” you pout, rubbing a hand up and down his forehead as you toe off your shoes, “how ‘bout we shower together? you did clean the house up pretty nicely.” that earns a grin and a kiss from taeyong, who goes straight the prepare the bath. you chuckle, “he’s already forgotten what i’ve told him.”

→ DOYOUNG supports you silently and listens to your day when you return home and talk about your patient or a case you’re working on. he gives you his own input when he sees fit but other than that he wants you to explain the details. being a doctor and lawyer is crazy and hectic and just wants you to know that you’re appreciated in the workforce. the way he might show his love when caring for a busy s/o like you is when he brings you stuff that you might’ve forgotten like an umbrella or your lunch since you were rushing out of the house earlier. he doesn’t mind going the extra mile to you literally bc it’s a win-win! you get your food, he gets to see you, etc. if not he’ll send someone over to pass it to the receptionist, or he’ll make up for it by meeting you outside the office to apologise and then ask you what you wanna do so he can make it up to you.

“did you manage to get the bento i bought you?” doyoung asks worriedly through the phone, holding up a hand to the staff member who was beckoning him to his photoshoot. “you bought so much!” you exclaim, with a shoulder to your ear, phone perched in between, “thank you doyoung.”

“’m sorry i couldn’t come over to give you your lunch today, angel. i’ll see you after you’re done with work, okay?” you smile at that, shooting a quick reply before you delved into your food.

→ JAEHYUN would honestly serve you once you come back from a busy day tbh. where taeyong does the chores around the house, jaehyun helps by doing the chores on YOU and only you. giving you massages, bringing you dinner on a tray, other unsaid things… and maybe even carrying you from room to room lol he’s relentless and just goes you need to rest, lemme help. big gentleman even when you reject him, doing smaller things like constantly checking up on you, pulling the blanket higher onto your body, cuddling you closer to his body when it’s cold. on top of that jaehyun also one that would meet you at your workplace and take you out like johnny, but those dates are extremely chill. he lets you choose, and when you’re not sure, he takes you on a night picnic at the field or a rooftop, just dinner, but outside bc the view is really nice and he likes the way you look even after a long day of working.

“where should we park our mats?” your head moves from left to right, looking for a suitable spot while you tug on jaehyun’s hand. he hums at it, searching for a spot just like you are. the wind’s blowing gently when you settle near a tree, mat occasionally flying up which you counter with your heavy laptop bag.

“any idea where we can get desserts later?” you call out as a half-joke, not expecting jaehyun to pull up his phone to instantly search for a baskin robbins. “there’s one close-by, wait here for a minute and i’ll go get one for you-“ you laugh before pulling him back down, “don’t worry! we’ll go together, plus i don’t want to be left alone.” jaehyun softly smiles, nodding along as he takes out the food he packed.

→ JUNGWOO has similar intentions like johnny, except he would just wanna stay home. where johnny’s goal is to make you laugh, jungwoo just likes doing things together at home. playing board games, folding the clothes together, making dinner together. it’s not that he doesn’t want to do it, but when he’s given free time he sometimes just likes to laze at home and rest from schedules. he sometimes takes himself out of bed to help before you come back but he’s lazy lolol. loves it when you’re both equally tired and living off 5h of sleep. it’s not romanticising the lack of sleep but your schedules just don’t allow you to sleep equal amounts of hours of sleep. through that, you’re at least able to connect over sleepy talk and droopy smiles while you make the bed or assemble a lego piece or playing video games. if jungwoo’s energetic enough he doesn’t mind doing the crazier activities but he generally prefers those activities done in semi-silence while you exchange jokes and funny videos.

“noooo- no! you only need to move three times, you’re cheating-“ jungwoo pouts and moves back your playing avatar back three spaces on the board game. you purse your lips, not expecting him to see it since he was particularly invested in the movie playing on the screen. knowing it was a shitty film, you tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted. with eyes glued to the screen a few seconds earlier, you took your chance to move down one more space in order to get the benefit on the game board.

“you’ll get to buy a house soon, honey,” jungwoo grins cheekily, laughing even more when he’s able to move four steps, landing on the square that you wanted. now it was your turn to pout as he flips the card for property purchases, happily placing it next to his five other houses. “you’re so annoying!” you say as you fall back on the bean bag, but jungwoo doesn’t believe it when he sees a smile poking out from behind the hands shielding your face..

→ MARK sends you a looooot of texts. your convos with him are just him spamming questions or sending you memes. on every platform LMAO he has tweets sent, ig dm’s are blowing up from the weirdass nct memes that some of the fans make, he uses the official nct tiktok account to send you viral trending videos and he’s like we should try this!!!! and it’s a couple doing acrobatics or some shit. he’s crazy. anyway, he just likes to share things with you, from songs, to playlists, to youtube videos or interesting topics like crime psychology or movie theories etc. he knows that you’re hardly going to see it in your job but he sees the way you react across the room when he sends you stuff so he’s sure that you’ll like it after you get off work. sometimes likes to rickroll you, he knows it’s an old trend/troll thing but the thrill of seeing your frustrated replies always make him laugh out loud. when you’re back home, the both of you review whatever you send each other and then laugh together at them.

“hey, babe, check out this video,” mark says in a text, pasting a twitter link to a video. the video starts out interesting enough, mentioning something about a fun fact with stunning visuals has you wanting to learn more. when the guy in the video starts on his first word, the video immediately changes to rick astley with never gonna give you up. you mutter a small fuck under your breath, gaining a bit of attention from your colleagues during lunch break.

under the table, you flip him off in a picture, which he responds with a big smile of his that’s obviously teasing you for falling for it. you’re going to get it when i get back home!!!!! on a new high, you text the message and set your phone down, already excited for the evening where’d you be able to spend your time with him.

→ HAECHAN is a mix of everything kinda. he’d bring you out after work sometimes and other times likes to stay at home, mainly takes you out to eat after work, but that’s the extent of his after-work-escapades, he doesn’t want to tire you out too much. i think one prominent things he likes to do to is vlog to you, send you videos of what he’s doing on set or at home and just treats your convo like a bank for endless videos. y’know how there’s this video feature in telegram? he sends sooo many of those that you have the time of your life watching those on the ride back home. if you have time, you HAVE to facetime him during your lunch break and tell him how you’re doing and how’s your work coming along. do i have to kick someone’s ass for making you feel uncomfortable? is that patient being creepy again? and you have to explain that haechan, no, that patient is an elderly you cannot beat his ass. he’s like i don’t care, creepy dudes are not excused!!! and you can’t help but smile at that. always wants to be talking to you, close to you. if one day, you’re able to bring him to your job, this man follows you around like a lost puppy and just admires what you do, it’s endearing.

“ah, wait- you know how the sister, xia ling was sent to shut down the ten rings army? well… i just reviewed some of the articles and-“ the video cuts into the next one, haechan’s face zoomed in as he looks straight into the camera, “y’know, she might become a villain one day, i don’t know. maybe i should review some of the comics too?”

“anyway! come look at our set for the music video! it’s sexy, outfits are fire, sets are so good, the choreo this time isn’t too hard, either.” haechan asks the other members to wave as he passes them by, no doubt going his own make-up and hair after the others were already done, “okay, gotta go- love you bye!” you smile at that, texting a quick reply before you open up a video of your own, whispering through the speaker with a promise that you’d see him tonight.