#but also i just dont do that kind of thing

[softness-and-shattering]

Thats a good point, I see all kinds of neurodivergence in my family but only a couple of us in my generation, afaik, have a diagnosis.

However, my gp attended a recent talk about overlap of queer folk with neurodivergence and also a group of comorbid illnesses including, iirc, POTS/MCAS/EDS/CFS theres a couple others Im just blanking. Digestive issues? Things that we've broadly noticed as a community, and it seems like its starting to be studied.

And also, everyone has some kind of trauma, idk how many people if any have no kind of disability whatsoever, humanity is vast and diverse. And we're wired to look for patterns. Interpret this information how you will, I certainly cant say for sure if these patterns are broader than trans people, or are more people trans than we expect, are we seeing correlation or causation or is there a mechanism in common with all these labels thats the deeper cause, is queerness an interchangeable/'sometimes' factor or a central one, we are way too early to know that yet.

I think its probably not nothing. But we're also not uniquely fucked up. Maybe we're just sticking out, so to speak, so thats where the research is starting. Many people werent taking ME/CFS seriously until long covid prompted more research bc, iirc, there was now a lot more people affected who were harder to ignore. And who were seeking help. Like a lot of people have an allergy or a dodgy wrist or "that weird thing with my digestion" and they dont consider it a disability or seek treatment, yknow? And especially mental health and especially what runs in families, it looks normal to you so why would you ever bring it up to a dr? "Everyone struggles with these things. Everyone feels this way" well you do and your parents and aunts and uncles do and your siblings do, and maybe you told a dr forty years ago you were in pain and they brushed you off so you thought everyone was walking around in agony.

And that gets into an adjacent conversation about medicalising and diagnosing and when does that help and when is it like, making a negative thing of normal human experiences and variations, its not a disorder till its negatively impacting your life, if youre surviving but treatment could help you thrive is it worth the side effects etc etc plus the whole discussion of psychiatry in particular which can be an amount of guesswork and diagnostic labels are often just patterns of symptoms that we see oftrn go together and we dont always yet understand the underlying neurology. (One of my all time best therapists kept up with the latest neuroscience and always had very good and effective suggestions. I only stopped seeing her bc I moved away. If you can be seeing professionals who are keeping up with research, definitely prefer them over someone who hasnt learned anything since they completed training 50 years ago. Always.)

Tl;dr I agree with OP and also this stuff is extremely complex and we're always learning new things about us!

something that should be taken with a grain of salt are the statistics talking about the high rates of mental illness + neurodivergence among trans people (ocd, bpd, adhd, autism, etc)

I see both sides of the political spectrum taking these studies at face value - conservatives say we're broken, and trans people try to come up with reasons why for example autism + gender dysphoria makes sense and why one of them feeds into another

at the end of the day you have to remember that we're the one category of people on this planet who are legally required to go see a psychiatrist in order to receive non-psychiatric medication and surgeries.

more trans people are in therapy by law than any other demographic of people, and as a result, this captures more comorbidities.

if I had to look at my own family & rates of mental illness?

mom, dad, 2 maternal aunts, maternal grandmother, paternal grandmother, sister, sibling, and me all have OCD.

7/9 of them are cishet, never been to therapy, never diagnosed. 2/9 are trans, required therapy for hormone treatment, and were diagnosed.

you don't have to do any math to just see that the resulting statistics end up intensely skewed.

and we can think back to how autism was virtually never diagnosed more than 50 years ago - ruling out any grandparents being included in statistics - and even my parents' generation (they're in their 60s now) wouldn't have been included either.

I don't think it's to anyone's benefit to accept these studies uncritically. a lot of these things are hereditary and far more prevalent in the overall population than people realize

[gem-de-lune]

Daily Vibe Check 11/21

Brief energy checks and then quick check-in for MAMA LA

Seunghan

Queen of Swords

Feeling rather excitable, he is interested in the results. He has high hopes for what will transpire within the next 24-48 hours. Almost like something is riding on this. He is paying attention to a lot of trends and data. If you are wondering if he monitors his social media acct yes he does. He is just hoping the data supports what he wants to transpire. Generally positive vibes for the 21st.

Wonbin

5 of Wands + 6 of Swords

These two go together in that he is moving away from previous obstacles and conflict. Stepping into tomorrow will feel like stepping into the light for him. He sees everything that may transpire as a positive change of pace. Like I said before, they feel extremely free here. His feelings about tomorrow seek that same positive change- he hopes to see something that guides him away from hopeless thoughts. I think he is also anticipating physical and data based results.

Sohee

King of Wands

He is almost envisioning something large, grand, and creative. He is expecting A LOT. Like he legit is extremely excited in this feeling. I think he may have seen something online? That sparked this vision like one of those images depicting the orange flags? He has this grandiose feeling of pride and excitement going on to witness something great (omg pls dont let him be disappointed- fighting guys!! Impress Sohee!! 😭)

Anton

Ace of Wands

The card is very similar to Sohee's and so is the vibe. Very very excited but this indicates a will to participate if that makes sense. While Sohee is witnessing things while basking in it all, it seems Anton will be an active participant or will at least try to be in a way. He may be very outwardly expressive and encouraging. He is just very excited for the change in vibe from Korea/China.

Eunseok

2 of Pentacles + Knight of Swords + The World

Very heavy and very jittery feelings here. He is evisioning as well, thinking about all the things that could transpire, a plan A, B, and C. He seems to be inspired and is anticipating that feeling to grow. He too, is thinking about and anticipating results of some kind. He sees the event as a challenge that he will be witnessing and has encouraging feelings towards the ordeal. I think he is looking at projects? The word projects pops out. He is a but worried about them being turned away? He is wondering if they will be able to pull through.

Shotaro

The Hyerophant

He is ALSO sitting in the feeling of anticipation here. There is something he feels is morally correct or just about the events that will transpire tomorrow. He believes that maybe this is the way things should have been. Whenever I read for Taro he always has something sassy af to say....this time it was "watch and learn" 😭😭

His feelings are rather simple he just wants to see the heroes prevail and "show them how it's done" (Good god).

Sungchan

Ace of Pentacles + 4 of Pentacles

He is also anticipating something incredible and something they still have never seen before. But he is a bit more concerned than the others, it seems. It looks like he is worried about timing and other things- hard work going to waste, etc...so similarly to Eunseok maybe I think he is highly worried about certain constraints and protection of tangible items that could be disposed of before they are seen.

MAMA LA Check-In

Ace of Swords + Queen of Coins

This is about empowerment and the very peak of it: morality, what is right, creativity and ideas. With the queen of coins here she is telling us to make sure to use that feeling to protect it.

The energy surrounding MAMA LA is giving us an opportunity to quite literally cause a ruckus in the best way possible to protect those we care about in a morally just way. There is potential here for EXTREMELY great success. But the most important thing is to take care of ourselves physically. If you have a ticket- do NOT engage in physical altercations near security or inside. TRY not to START them at all whatsoever. Be CAREFUL, do not let your projects, banners, etc.. get taken.

Final Notes:

This is a big moment, everyone. I know there are still some stragglers on the fence, and I know some one you think the protests will harm the boys. All I have to say to that is: we shall see.

I said before that you will have to deal with your decisions and be confident. I am. I am betting everything I have on my knowing*** they want Seunghan back and vise versa. And i will be willing to accept it if they clearly state they don't. Because i will take responsibility for my thoughts, choices, and decisions. Will you?

For everyone else... Fight hard. Be bold. Be mindful. Be LOUD when you need to be. This is one of our last opportunities to truly show they how much we love Seunghan. And this is one of the last opportunities for RIIZE to also show that PUBLICLY too.

[certifiedsexed]

Hi! Is it true that your hymen will break/rip with like, the simpliest form of penetration? I know your can rip (i dont know if thats the right word sorry) it only by doing exercices and things like horse riding, and i know that i for some people their hymen doesn't change after penetration, but... im still curious, and don't know anyone besides you to answer that for me hahahha

Its because, like, i really want to buy a menstrual disc or a cup instead of having to buy pads every month. I'm a minor and unfurtunatelly kind of freak out my hymen will break and when i go see an ob-gyn that would be clear and my mom would somehow know? Omg now that im typing this thought its starting to sound so dumb lmao

And it isn't even like my mom would get mad at me? Is just that im ace and extremelly uncomfortable to have this tipe of talk with my parents. Having all of my sex ed being searched and studied by me and myself only. They don't talk about it :p

But yeaaah, how does it work? Please enlighten me qwq also if something i wrote sounded weird im sorry im not fluent hahah

Hi!

No. The hymen is literally just part of your vagina-It usually partially covers the opening of your vagina [though some people are born with it covering the entire opening of their vagina] and it can wear down with age but it does not "break" and it rarely tears at the simplest penetration.

It can tear, which usually causes no pain, and little blood. But it also stretches, like the rest of your vagina. There's a possibility it could tear but it's unlikely unless you're shoving something inside your vagina super hard.

Hymens can survive giving birth. As long as you're not violently inserting your menstrual cup/disk, you should be fine.

Let me be clear: if your hymen breaks enough to show and your OB/GYN sees it and tells your mom, your OB/GYN is a misogynist and a creep. It's their job to know that 1. hymen breakage can just happen sometimes and B. your hypothetical sex life is not your mother's business.

But this isn't me saying it can't happen. It's not a huge possibility but it's a possibility all the same. Hymens thin and can wear down over time, which can vary wildly from person to person. That can lead to tearing but you can hugely reduce that risk by being gentle and taking your time.

Having to tell your parents/your mom that you're using a menstrual cup/disc can definitely suck but you don't have to discuss anything sex related, Anon!

I'd say that trying out a menstrual disc/cup and seeing if it's more comfortable for you would probably be worth that.

This isn't stupid at all, btw. It's an understandable worry! And your english sounds fine! I hope this helps. Let me know if you have anymore questions. <3

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im on partially diy hrt for nearly a year. i do not leave in the usa btw.

i buy the drugs from just some guy who deals it, i learned about him from one of my trans male friends, if you want to start diy hrt really consider asking if someone in your community does it also. i live in a country where lgbt+ and transitioning is practically outlawed, but there is still community out there, especially in big cities (over 1m people).

but if he dissapears i turn to resources for cis bodybuilders. idk it's pretty googleable, ive checked. again, always ask people in your country.

check your local laws, where i live buying t illegally isnt punished if the drug is bought from your country (its not contraband) and you do not plan to sell it. in this case if someone IS going to be punished, its your dealer.

for safety: check the ingredients of what's your buying, in the best case you should buy a drug that is the exact same as in drug stores, also ask what other people in your shoes are usually buying.

also if you can - buy in bulk. rn me and my partner have 9 months worth of t on our hands. this way you have more time to find other dealer if yours dissapears, and also it's much cheaper often.

also gel is generally WAY EASIER to buy without a prescription (even though you need it on paper)! many drug stores don't ask for a prescription to buy it, and you can go to multiple of them. also if you preorder it online and only go to the drug store to pick it up they are less likely to ask for the prescription. it's all still not 100%, but at least you don't have to look for a dealer or a bodybuilder website

needles are usually pretty cheap and do not require a prescription in a drug store. if you NEED to make something up why you need them - some of the common pain killers come in the form of injections

so, about the blood tests and stuff like that!

personally, i consult with an endocrinologist approximately onse a year, but i don't have any complications. you can make a visit online with a t friendly endocrinologist from another country - this won't show on any of your medical records and doesn't bare any legal weight. this way they can't write you a prescription, but thos us about diy hrt anyway.

ask about what tests you need to have done beforehand!

you can do all the tests in a private clinic and not tell them anything about your trans status. mostly they don't care. it costs money, but its more safe

but also you can tell some bullshit in the government clinic so they prescribe you some of the tests, at least the most general stuff. if they prescribe you to return with the results or go to an endocrinologist - you can just ignore that and JUST NOT GO. they are most probably very busy and understaffed, they dont care.

you should find a general guide to what levels of what you generally should have. id link what i use, but its all in a language other then english.

generally all of the things should be in the norm, except for testosterone and estradiol. prolactin should be in the norm.

of course it varies a lot and might be different for you if you have other health stuff going on, that's the reason you should consult with a doctor if you can. but it is possible on your own.

i really think people are way too scared of diy t many times. this therapy is often very straightforward, and there ARE ways to do it, you can even consult with a doctor while transitioning illegally. where i live transitioning, whether legal or medical is outlawed, but plenty people do it anyway. be careful and midfull, but go for it

sorry if my english isnt very good, i don't use it irl and its my second language

thank you so much for your help and don't worry, your english is plenty good for this kind of thing! thank you for all the help, if you think of any more information you wish to share feel free to ask!

[softness-and-shattering]

Im forever mad about this otherwise okayish (and then, quite sexist) fantasy series I picked up a while ago, its like a dragon military academy setting, and the writer is super into architecture. He's very carefully thought out the dragon living space and their food and their waste, every building has a style and a history, which is pretty cool, write what you know, this guy is obviously into architecture.

But then theres a multi chapter plot point attempting to make a theme about privilege and poverty, where the poor character needs to procur a length of white fabric for her job. Not a huge amount, enough for a sash or two, I think. And we spend chapters with her going around begging and bargaining and trying to buy white or close-enough cloth for this sash. White cloth is a rarity, a delicacy, it is ever so expensive. ARE YOUR SHEEP AND GOATS PURPLE? IS YOUR FLAX DEEP BLUE AND YOUR COTTON THE BRIGHTEST GREEN? DO YOUR SPIDERS PRODUCE ORANGE SILK???

Absolutely no explanation why its so hard for this girl to find PLAIN CLOTH, and eventually she just steals it. And then the story just moves on and gets increasingly sexist and then also ableist to the point I couldnt justify to myself to continue reading it.

Its ok to not know the first thing about cloth but then why make it a central plot point? Its like the seamstress in bridgerton talking shit about wealthy ladies and their embroidery MAAM THATS YOUR PROFESSION.

Which is to say, I think theres an interesting story to be told about the supply chains of coffee and potatoes, however I do think that should be left to people willing to do the research and extrapolating involved so you dont have to suffer absurdities born of ignorance and refusal to acknowledge that some things require research to be addressed with any kind of actual coherence.

Fuck that post going around saying "you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don't need to explain everything :)" I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don't explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don't explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you

[thatneoncrisis]

Sorry to keep dragging you through Arcane hell (the new season is... oof) but I am curious what your thoughts on silco are? Realising more and more that silco and sevika are the only part of the show I gave a fuck about and my love of season one was really just those two.

i keep putting things under a readmore so if ppl dont want to see me go "damn this was good i wish it was better" they dont have to

i think silco on paper has potential to be one of my favorite characters on the show, and barring that at least one of the most layered and well crafted. his and vanders dynamic is by no means unique, its very professor x and magneto, which is already something i can take or leave. "oh we were childhood friends and allies fighting for a better future but one of us got soft while the other became hardned and radicalized" the narrative of the terrorist freedom fighter, one corrupted by power is done a Lot bc of a general apprehension in shows like this to endorse violence on the behalf of the oppressed class BUT i think his relationship with jinx was a good addition and if like one or two changes were made it could have been some of the best the show has to offer

for the sake of this post, im going to ignore the reveal that silco knew jinxs mother before her death i think that was dumb and bad. essentially, the show begins with silco and vander at odds- they both are doing what they believe needs to be done in order to secure zauns future, and both of them are ultimatrly hurting zauns people; silco is flooding the streets with shimmer and vander is working with enforcers. silco is primarily motivated by power, but vander is motivated by his love for his kids, this is the only way he has even the slightest assurance that he can keep them from run ins with the law, a law that has a precedent for tossing children in maximum sexurity prisons.

vanders death and silcos subsequent acqusition of jinx flips the coin. there is now something in his life to love, to protect, to care for. he is falling into the same behavior that vander was, even if he is far worse at it bc hes a terrible father whos also a drug lord and just kind of lets his unstable daughter sit in a. ave and build bombs all day. hes not *good* but he *cares* evidenced by him literally needing to be sedated when jinx gets surgery so he didnt flip the fuck out

in a straightforward narrative, this is a story about a man having to choose between his daughter and his passion project. zaun is something he has given his life for, hed do anything to have it succeed... except one thing. that one thing. "there is nothing so undoing as a daughter" is probably one of my favorite lines in the show. i really do wish we had gotten More of them, especially at the beginning when she was a baby and silco doesnt really know what to do with her, which brings me to my next bit-

i think sevika is an indespensible part of the triangle of silco and jinx triangle. i find her position interesting as she is not only second in command, but second to jinx, a literal child. she can be the best right hand man a guy could ask for, she is so dedicated to his cause she betrayed vander, she has given her life and limb for this shit. but she will never be jinx. and i think the conversation of like, how far will silco go before he is forced to choose is kind of awesome. the ultimatum jayce gives him is good it is the breaking point of him trying to do both. he is directly responsible for the "monster" piltover is hunting, he didnt try to keep her in line, he let her do whatever she wanted and he is now directly reaping the consequences. frankly, i think sevika should have been present for that choice in some capacity, eavesdropping or something, so certain that hell make the right choice, its just a girl. and she sees him falter. him not choosing is a choice, he cannot actually make the sacrifices required to get shit done. hed orphan a thousand children to build his utopia, but he cant let go of his girl

anyway all of that was really cool and interesting so you imagine my frustration when his choice is taken from him via jinx flipping out, kidnapping him then shooting him. it was so. anticlimatic. it *feels* like its supposed to be a tragedy, oh she assumes the worst when he was actually going to choose her, but those conclusions feel too. private. like he dies with basically no one knowing he was this close to selling zaun up a river for his girl. i dont think he should have died i think he should have been disgraced for daring to have it all. anyway i think instead of jinx overhearing him talk outloud and coming to the wrong conclusion sevika should have deliberately led her there 1. to piss her off on purpose and 2. prove a point to silco that jinx is unstable and a liability, but not assume shed go far enough to kill him, bc they both still care about him.

overall any of my issues with how his story goes is just a combination of my distaste for that particular archetype, where he is so incredibly comically evil i cannot take a single one of his points seriously even though they Are correct (killmonger. its just killmonger again) and the show just once again not having time for anything with him that is not The Plot. the fondness he has for jinx is apparent i just wish it could COOK longer i wanted MORE, i wanted to see him foster that love of inventing in her, even though it is clearly just because the weapons she makes are helpful to his cause, i want to see her genuinely give input on his ideas, i want to see them talk about vander. his human elements are like too sparse for me to latch on to its like the Idea of them, i go oh i see what you guys are Trying to do. there is too little of him i see him cooing over his daughter then going back to his crack cocaine mines staffed by orphan children and i ask does the show jave anything to say about this cognative dissonance? no? i find it really telling that one chem baron was pissed at the enforcers for her son dying, and yes they were Definitely a factor but WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SON WORKING IN THE CRACK COCAINE MINES MAAM. YOU WERE KIND OF ASKING FOR IT. theres no like, conversation about what the corrupting influences of power does to the next generation even when the best of intentions are had. jinx constantly taking shimmer in season 2 for power ups, a direct product of her fathers worst tendancies, and it having NO ill effects on her, shes not reduced to the animalistic state of the drug addicts we are CONSTANTLY seeing on the streets bc. why. is she built different. the metaphor is RIGHT THERE her father/shimmer enable her but they are also killing her from the inside mein GOTT.

also the first time i watched this show i kept confusing him with viktor lol

[fadelbison]

Thoughts on Joongdunk divorce and PR for branded pairs

so I read about the Joongdunk divorce era related ongoing drama and I have to say the thoughts I have are...perhaps very crazy but - sorry I have permanent brain damage from House MD - it fits. So take my opinion with grains of salt or better yet dont take it at all and just enjoy the conspiracy theory of it all. I'm fairly sure Joong is faking it and im pretty sure khaotung is...not faking whatever this 'I am going to fuck first against the nearest surface' vibe he has going on but he's certainly playing it up/into every moment like he's in a olympics style marathon thats just rail and be railed by your best friend.

Out of all the GMM men I follow, I follow Khaotung and Joong the closest and I would also say of the people I follow these two are the most likely to lie through their teeth about every single thing. And we already know that Joong has been helping FK but kind of particularly khaotung get more socmed savvy. So there is definitely some thread here to believe that PR discussions have occurred at least between Joong and FK but more likely between all four.

And the reason why I believe the Joongdunk divorce era is fake? It's becuase the thing between Joong and Est *was* real and Joong handled it completely differently. I had no idea it had happened even though I've been following Joong on IG through that entire time not until I went to twitter. I realized that whole thing was falling apart ONLY because people were talking about it. Joong's own posting was very staunchly business as usual.

And suddenly for his own branded pair right before a critical show who's success doesn't only affect him? What is he doing? Hanging neon signs that he's getting divorced. You're telling me to believe that Joong is middle school shading Dunk where even *I* could notice. Yes, I thought it was mega weird when he promo'd the THK release with pictures of him and FK but not Dunk. By this point, they *must* be aware of how people are talking about the Joongdunk divorce and what does Dunk do? Post a picture with FK but not Joong in the middle of it.

Really? Hours before the premiere?

See, the options here to me are:

1) Joong (and Dunk) has undergone a sudden and TOTAL personality change where he's suddenly inept at doing PR

or the crazier and yet to me the more likely scenario:

2) It's staged

And why would one do that? Why take the risk right before THK? To drum up engagement obviously. See we know that companies only care for numbers, these tweets and IG comments and likes are all going into some graphical format presentation in front of a guy who doesn't know or give two shits about what a divorce era is. So people talking about JD because their hobby is sniffing each other’s crotches or because they can’t stand each other is the exact same thing.

But how does Khaotung and his diabolical mind play into it, why did I bring him up in the beginning? We know that Fadel and Style start out as enemies…so like who's fucking playbook is that? Matching your promo to the dynamic of your characters? Who is the olympics gold winner in cosplaying your characters cosplaying as yourself?

I know people forget things week to week on socmed. But First and Khaotung were barely present during THK filming, soms were more or less only getting FK content from THK official twitter than First or Khaotung.

Khaotung was doing more fanservice with Joong than First at one point and he had a flurry of solo events during which soms were once more fractured between special treatment for Khaotung versus First [FK themselves were honeymooning in Busan and we got nothing other than the most brain damaging story about First scouring Busan for a hat Khaotung wanted and two posts of Khaotung ass up in their room that First must have taken].

Suddenly almost on the dot a month before THK release? They dialed the heat up without a reciprocal heat dialing up of Joongdunk. Summer Night definitely got in the way of that where Joong was giving Dunk a polite wide berth on IG liking and commenting on Summer Night stuff but not doing any CP related things.

So First and Khaotung suddenly act like they can't function without sampling each other's dicks thrice a day while Joong and Dunk stay business as usual. One pair taking the lion's share of THK hype is not a good thing for the other pair and genuinely I was like is JD really okay taking up second fiddle spot to FK for WEEKS. Lo and behold, days before THK all people can talk about is JD.

Anyway the following is an honest to god real photo of me writing this insane post. I just think things are going really well for Joong despite it all and I don't think it's on accident.

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[tempesttz]

oh hey a topic i can talk about because webnovel isnt just for fanfic.

so i've used webnovel for over a year now? you can bet they have not gotten a single cent from me and i exploit the hell out of the bugs in their terrible system to allow me to read whatever the hell i want (no i will not post how i do it because i dont want that grubby company to be able to patch it) but its a pretty good (and one of the only that i know of) ways to read some good translated novels (especially of the cultivation/reincarnation genre, one of my favorites to read) to english. some more things about webnovel though

they will terminate and get rid of accounts that provide links to the original stories (because a lot of the stories arent original content, theyre translated, usually from mandarin. i am sure a lot of them are also MTL or machine translated works) to the dismay of readers

most stories are 40 chapters free, usually chapters of stories are in the hundreds, sometimes the thousands, and the rest are locked. no add pass no nothing go fuck yourself locked. to the dismay of readers

the male/female lead stories thing makes a little bit of sense to me because of the kind of content it hosts. i read 90% female lead content, the writing genre and "feel" of the stories is pretty different so as weird as it is i'll give them this one

they have a bunch of weird badges and things to add to your profile. most of them are things you have to pay for. speaking of here's my stats just to prove im not talking out of my ass here. the numbers are a little skewed because, again, exploiting the hell out of bugs to let me read whatever the hell i want. also how many badges there are holy shit.

my credentials. they overflow.

most of the art for the covers is stolen or, as i see more and more, ai-generated

i didnt even know webnovel HAD fanfiction by the way. so let that speak for itself. dont write fanfic on webnovel. dont write ANYTHING on webnovel. fuck these people. i am kind of terrified this will get my account terminated but hey fuck it thems the breaks i guess

this is a much smaller gripe but why is LGBT in the "female lead" section. its not yuri its mostly just BL why??? is this???? those leads are NOT female???? you cant blame the fujoshis for this thats on webnovel

they make you buy coins for EVERYTHING and they SHOVE them in your FACE.

they have this weird gamification thing they do with how long you read filling up a bar in the corner of your screen that gives you five fuck-if-i-know-points. so theres also that

if you are looking for fanfiction do not give webnovel your time. if you are looking for translated novels also do not give webnovel your time because its just not worth it, as hypocritical as i sound. go to wattpad. there are plenty of people semi-okay-probably-not-really-legally posting them there for your viewing pleasure, just put them in your offline library and read them with your wifi/data off because wattpad can also go fuck themselves for shortening the amount of books you can have offline to TWO i dont care how many years it has been i am still pissed off. and for running an ad after every chapter. ao3 supremacy until the end and stay away from webnovel they are a greedy greedy terrible company

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

saw the post abt top surgery so i wanted to ask : in your personal experience, what would you say is the right age/amount of time to deliberate on getting top surgery?

im still really young so im paranoid that ill rush things and make the wrong choice or something (i know this just sounds like im buying into terf propaganda.. i just dont have any actual older trans folk to ask abt this irl)

I don't think asking yourself whether you really want top surgery or not is buying into terf rhetoric tbh. It is a fairly big change to want and thinking about it seriously is just that.

Personally I'm 23, and have known I wanted top surgery since I was around 16. I've known people that did it as soon as they were of legal age/had the money for it and I've known others that waited a lot more than that. Personally I'd say the right time is however long you need to gather info about top surgery, all its up and down sides, and to get yourself into a situation where you are safe to go through with it (aka people to take care of you in the aftermath, not living with people that might be hostile to it...)

I don't know how the procedures work in your country, but here in Belgium I first had to meet with a social worker (specialized in medical transition) that gave me the rundown, a lot of helpful advice, and gave me a letter of "informed consent" and the surgeon's email. If you have the equivalent wherever you live, these are the kind of people you can go to in real life to share your doubts and fears.

ALSO, no matter the medical procedure you want to do for your transition, you can stop whenever YOU want. You can set up appointments with doctors and surgeons, and suddenly you realize you don't actually want it? Put a stop to it, cancel the appointment.

Currently we live in a world that spams the news with claims that all transgender individuals are "ruining their bodies". With this kind of climate it makes sense that we sometimes feel like that's something we might be doing.

I didn't get on testosterone for years despite being of age because I was scared I would regret it. And now 1.5 years on it, it's definitely one of the best decisions I've made in my life. I don't regret the time I spent weighing the pros and cons, it was the time that I needed to be fully comfortable with the reality of medical transition.

tldr, there is no ''right'' timeline for any transition of any kind. The only thing you need is to be comfortable with the rhythm you're setting. While we can't speed things up most of the time, we can certainly slow them down if we want.

[daisyofwaterdeep]

AAAAAA I LOVE YOU FOR WRITING ROLAN. Istg ive been searching far and wide for rolan fics that hits jusssttt right. I can NOT tell you how many times ive read your potion fic and the caught fic (all parts) in the last 24 hours, practically the only thing ny eyes are glued to

If its not a hassle for you, may u request a continuation for the birthday fic where the reader went home and read the letter. Rolan was busy taking down the decor being all sappy (i love him like this) when the reader is practically panting (they ran). Love confession ensues and rolan finally can wrap his tail around your leg.

Thank you so much, ignore this if you are busy. Please take care of yourself and dont overwork. Ily

this ask made me so happy kjdnvjfnv thank you so much for your kind words!

read the first part here ----- Lia's voice breaks through Rolan's trance.

"Ugh. Who's the animal that left a huge stack of plates in the corner?"

He looks over to see her across the room, hands on her hips and shoulders tight with agitation.

"Pretty sure that was Minsc," Cal pipes up from the second floor balcony, broom in hand, "I saw him and his hamster hunkered down over there, going ham on the...well, ham."

"So they're the bastards that hogged the ham." Lia crouches down and starts stacking the plates into one pile, her annoyance making them clack hard together to the point that Rolan fears one may break, "By the time I got to the buffet, all that was left were those dainty little sandwiches."

"Heh," Cal points at Lia with a grin, "Hogged the ham."

Lia snorts despite herself. "Damnit Cal, I'm trying to be angry."

A rush and crackle of energy cuts their idle chatter, and the three tiefling's eyes go to the portal as it's swirling mass brightens. A moment later, you stumble through. Though you departed less than 30 minutes ago, you look entirely different now. Your perfectly sculpted hair is now limp and loose, strands sticking to your cheeks with sweat. You're bare-footed, your red dress hiked up your thighs and held in a wad by the same hand that holds your shoes. And in the other hand...

Rolan feels the blood drain from his body. He's completely frozen in place, even as your eyes lock onto his and you begin marching over, brandishing the letter in front of you.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Your breathing is harsh, and as you get closer, Rolan can see just how flushed you are. "Are you stupid?"

"Gods, Rolan, what in the hells did you do?" Lia is is at your side in an instant, scowl in place.

"I--" Rolan takes a step back from the both of you, panic rising hot and tight in his throat, "I don't know--"

And he really doesn't. He doesn't understand why you're looking at him with such anger, why your chest is heaving and your eyes are glassy.

You blink and turn to Lia, seeming to only just realize that she's there. And then your head turns to see Cal, broom clutched in his hands as he slowly descends the stairs. Your shoulders deflate and the anger across your face is replaced with sheepishness.

"Come on, Lia." Cal fumbles as he leans the broom against a nearby bookshelf, "You wanted to go grab a drink at the Elfsong, didn't you?"

Lia's jaw works as she glares at Rolan, clearly wanting to know just what in the hells is going on, but a glance at your embarrassed face makes her huff and turn on her heel. "Whatever's happening, you better fix it, Rolan."

Rolan silently agrees as Cal and Lia cast one last look back at the two of you before disappearing through the portal. You turn to confirm that they've left before raising the letter once again and frowning at him.

"What is this?"

Rolan doesn't answer. He's confused, sure, but he's also in shock. He hadn't prepared to be confronted with his letter so soon. And with such vitriol.

Your lips thin at his silence and you bring the paper up to your face. "I am aware that the feelings I harbor are entirely one-sided. Despite this, I hope you think no less of me for this confession." You turn your eyes back to him and brandish the letter once again, "Are you stupid?"

"Am I...um..." Rolan can feel his blood thundering hot in his veins, his stomach flipping uncomfortably at hearing his written words read out loud. "I...I don't--"

You cut off his stumbling words as you take a step forward. "You sit up here in your big fancy tower, thinking you're so clever, assuming you understand me." You smack your hand against the letter, "You go so far as to write me a confession, but you just--" You smack the paper again as your voice raises an octave, "You just get it all wrong!"

Rolan's lips flounder silently as he tries to figure out what to say. He wishes he could melt into the floor.

You take another step forward and shove the letter against his chest. Your eyes shine brightly and your chest heaves as you look up at him.

"You're really telling me that you had no idea that I'm in love with you?" You scoff, voice nearly hysteric, "You stupid..." You raise your fist and bring it weakly back down against his chest, "Idiot!"

Rolan swears that his heart stops beating.

You're...in love with him? Did he hear that right? There's no way that's what you just said. He replays your last words in his head, again and again, trying to figure out if there's something he's misinterpretting.

You stand before him, so close that he can smell the wine on your breath, looking up at him, clearly waiting for something.

Rolan clears his throat, but his voice still comes out as a scratchy whisper.

"Could you....say that again, please?"

"Say what?" You bite back, exasperated, "That you're an idiot?"

"No, the other thing."

You huff. "What, that I'm in love with you? Are you telling me that you really didn--"

Hearing it again finally cements the truth of it into Rolan, and he breaks your sentence off with a kiss. He feels the edge of your last word dwindle out in a sigh as your shoes clatter and the letter flutters to the floor. Your hands find his back, just as his tail finds your ankle and wraps around it snugly.

Perhaps he's not the brightest when it comes to matters of love, but now that he knows your feelings, he's damn well not going to squander them.

[softness-and-shattering]

I think both can be true, but arent always both true.

I read a lot, and had a ton of fun reading and writing, and also I had unknown unmedicated adhd and the stories I was absorbing and telling kept me happy and stimulated throughout boring classes and empty time and not having a ton of friends. And when youre so deep into a book or movie or whatever, that is a kind of dissociation imo, you do cease to be aware of the world around you in a meaningful way, especially when you look up and youre suddenly starving and its been hours. Im not sure if a "flow state" is a kind of dissociation or a kind of being very present.

For some people it is an escape, and thats not a bad thing. But it doesnt work backwards, not every kid who loves reading is escaping from trauma, sometimes theyre just a kid having fun and it doesbt need to be thought twice about.

And if it isnt harmful to your everyday life, your relationships, your ability to look after yourself, its fine. Theres no need to go looking for trauma under every rock, unless something isnt quite right thats giving you reason to look. Theres no need to project ones own issues onto everyone else who shares that behaviour just because. If youre happy then carry on.

And also, its true that a lot of people are messed up by regular things, unrecognised neurodivergence etc. and it can be healing to see "oh this other person is like me, Im not uniquely broken or some kind of freak". I dont really think anyone gets through life/gets to adulthood completely unscathed so Im not super on board with calling people fakers (which I am not alleging that op has done, im branching into a related discussion), but if its not negatively affecting someone life, or they dont want to look into it or hyper-analyse every aspect of their life, thats totally fine. Its not necessary unless it is. You(general) can absolutely just be someone whos always loved reading and thats all there is to it.

We have GOT to stop pathologizing the joy out of life.

Saw someone claim that if you read a lot as a child, you were disassociating. No, you were reading. Because reading is fun.

"I have a problem with maladaptive daydreaming." It's only maladaptive if it negatively impacts your ability to function in the real world. Laughing at a joke you made in your head isn't doing that.

"You seem to do a lot if creative projects. What are you escaping?" I'm escaping this conversation.

Like what is the end goal? Because so far, all this has done has made it harder to enjoy my hobbies because you're turning a mindless process into something I gotta think about.

[buckleybltch]

Do you think we’ll get some kind of hint about the chance of Tommy being back or is too soon? What is your speculation for Buck this week?

i honestly genuinely don’t know, but I have two trains of thought:

1. IF (very, very big if) Tim has had it planned from the beginning for BuckTommy to be following the romcom route and there is a planned reconciliation, then it could go either way next ep. Considering we haven’t even heard about Christopher and that’s meant to be a big plot line, I’m not expecting the show to be showing us more BuckTommy so soon, even if it’s a simple mention of Tommy in some obscure context. I simply don’t think the episodes are long enough for that. In an ideal world, sure, Buck might make another mention of Tommy just to keep the plot going and in viewers minds, but I think it’s unlikely. Should there be a planned reconciliation, I don’t think it will come till 8x10 at the earliest because the midseason finale and the spring premier should (in theory) be a two parter focused on an emergency with (most likely) no space for large character storylines outside the main plot.

2. I don’t really think Tim has it all planned out that far. They’ve wrapped filming on 8x09 but for all we know, not much beyond that has been written or even conceptualised. Tim has always been the “see where it goes” person, I think he likes to go with the flow rather than follow a strict plot he’s set himself, he likes to see where the story takes him, so part of me believes he hasn’t thought far enough in advance to know what’s going to happen. So, again, it could go either way.

For the most part, I don’t see any large BuckTommy mentions possibly coming till 8x10 or after, with the exception of Buck possibly mentioning Tommy in passing in 8x08 or 8x09, but this depends on if their relationship has been planned out beyond the breakup. I have plenty of thoughts already about Tommy’s text bubble being included in 8x07 and what it means, but if there is no future for their relationship, then there’s no reason to have a Tommy mention in the next two episodes. That being said, it doesn’t mean there’s no future if he isn’t mentioned, it just depends on what’s planned for them. Even if he doesn’t get mentioned, the door is still open for him to come back.

IF (another very big if) there is a Tommy mention in either 8x08 or 8x09 then I think that’s a good sign- usually we only get one mention of Buck’s exes in the episodes following a breakup, and that’s to tell Eddie that they broke up (or some variation- see 7x01 and 6x01 with Natalia and Taylor). Usually the exes are done and gone (with the exception of Abby, but she was also a main. so). However, it’s not a bad sign if we don’t. Not every episode is about Buck and what he’s going through; Denny got hit by a car in 8x06 and we didn’t hear anything about it in 8x07- many plots just go into the background.

I genuinely think Tim only has vague ideas of what he wants to happen and then he just sees where the story goes and where it takes him. We’ve already had two BuckTommy heavy episodes (8x05 and 8x06) so I dont see another one coming for a while either way. There’s other storylines that need wrapping up. Eddie needs to resolve the Christopher situation, Bobby and Athena need to build their house… These have been going on since season seven and have yet to be resolved, and I’m honestly disappointed that the Christopher plot has been on the back burner for so long.

If Tommy does come back, it’s going to take longer than we’d like because of all the other plots the show has to work through. A lot of plots go on the back burner with the intent to continue them, but other things take priority, so they drag on, leaving the viewers a bit like “???” (much like the Christopher plot line- wdym he’s been in Texas for six months and counting). I think and hope it’s a very real possibility that Tommy will return, but I also think we overestimate how much thought goes into the plot lines. It would be perfect if we were right and this is a long romcom plot and we’re just in the third act breakup, but I don’t know if I believe that’s how it’s being written. Might be a fluke, might be intentional.

The episodes are only so long and there’s so many characters and plots to work through. Buck’s had his spotlight episodes, now it’s time to move on to the other characters. They can only include so much in each episode, and we know that scenes get cut, so it won’t shock me if there’s no mention of Tommy for this reason. At the same time, I honestly don’t know if it’s been planned out this far and this show isn’t the best at foreshadowing, so even if a reconciliation is planned I don’t know if we’ll see much of it. The upcoming episodes aren’t about Buck so I’m not expecting his plot to continue in the spotlight right now. Truthfully, I’m not expecting Buck to get much screen time at all in the next eps if the pattern continues- the focus will be on someone else.

In summary, I will be very shocked if we do see Tommy in the next two eps. I think it’s 50/50 on if Buck mentions Tommy. If there’s a reconciliation, I don’t know if it’s already been planned or if Tim is still seeing where the story takes him, and I don’t think it’ll be till later in 8b if it happens.

Of course, I could be horrifically wrong and we’ve all been conned, and they’ve already planned, written, or filmed a reconciliation, but I think it’s highly unlikely. I don’t think the plot is going to continue till mid 8b, if it continues at all. I’m keeping a very open mind about all of this.

We can all hope for things to happen, such as Tommy returning and BuckTommy reconciling, but what we can’t do is expect them. I would love it if they get back together, even if it takes till mid 8b, but I do not expect it to happen. The show will take the course it wants to take and we might be let down- that’s the risk in watching TV instead of creating your own content. As long as Buck is alive, whatever plots his character goes through, I will be happy. I would be happier if Buck and Tommy were together, but for me? I win either way. I just want the characters to be happy and live.

Hopefully this is all coherent and makes sense :)

[mewtillidae]

with imposter1998 finally over after a short accidental but much needed hiatus, let me just say uh, FUCKING THANK YOU? LIKE WOW? i did not expect you guys to participate and theorize and interact as much as you did, quite frankly i think you guys put more thought into this objectively silly idea than i did lmao

never before in all my internet years have i encountered such a fun, sweet, supportive online fandom. for imposter1998 and for daily kremy as a whole, the support i got from the many like-minded nerds on here was crazy. the tags and comments were plentiful and inconceivably kind, there was daily kremy FANART, @papa-goose-ollie got the whadda hell is a grapefruit one printed on a fucking MUG. shits crazy. but like truly everything about this has been awesome and i dont think i could thank each and every one of you enough :)

however, i think daily kremy ends here for now. made it to 150, i think thats respectable, but yknowwwww interests change and whatnot. however, you can guarantee I'll be back once new eps come out!

anyway enough sap do you guys wanna laugh at me for how horribly shambled together this whole game was behind the scenes (more under cut)

so this whole game was meant to last exactly 1 week, and conclude the day before Halloween. that sure didn't end up happening. probably because I "planned" this all over the course of like THREE DAYS. the extent of my planning was a single sheet of a4 paper and a barebones notes app doc

THE TYPOS WERENT INTENTIONAL. IT WAS SO FUNNY AND EMBARRASSING EVERYTIME SOMEONE MADE A COMMENT LIKE "Aha! Another typo! It's all coming together now guys!" LIKE NOOOO STOP LOOKING AT ME DONT PERCIEVE ME PLEASE😭😭😭😭 it was absolutely on me though, adding that tag mentioning them. it was supposed to be a joke at my own expense and people rightfully took it as a hint, oops <\3

all the puzzles were from my own noggin 👍 but very inspired by a few escape room boardgames like EXIT that I've played before. i also didnt know a solitaire cipher was even a thing. i thought i was being smart when the REAL smart thing to do would've been, uh, a singular google search.

and lastly, in the spirit of daily kremy, everything was made at like 2 am the day prior to posting and i totally winged it everytime. as in i had no clear idea what I'd write, just a bullet point to work off of. work ethic? never heard of her.

no comment on the ending! but you guys are super smart im sure you can have fun thinking abt it :)

[changbinsboobs]

yes pleasue you have interesting things to read about. hmm i also wondered how they view their reputation among both male and female idols? do they think it could be better or worse?

Since this requires lots of time to read for im gonna split it up in 2 groups again

Hyung line: How Skz think their reputation is among idols

Chan

Male: that one was a bit weird i think he thinks the opinions are split - like some absolutely love him and think he's a delight to be around, while others find him cold and stern and appalling(?).

Female: he definitely thinks he's charming them girls up😂 i think he thinks he has a loverboy image among them and is boyfie material.

Lee Know

Male: he thinks they view him as very motherly and caring. Often surprised by his nurturing and father/mother like qualities.

Female: thinks they view him as uninterested and maybe don't even have much else of an opinion of him cuz he's just not present around them.

Changbin

Male: thinks they view him as really fun and upcheering, kind of like the heart of the group or center of attention. He also thinks that they think of him as someone who brings or holds a group/hangout together. Like the burning flame that keeps the campers surrounded around it, warm.

Female: he thinks they like him and have a good opinion on him and feel comfortable & safe around him (he says one telling thing is that he gets to see their dorky side often, which they keep under wraps with other guys/people). Also he thinks that they like his money or view him as someone who's very generous and can spend on them🥲💀😂

Hyunjin

Male: this was also a bit difficult, i think this mightve struck a nerve or something as im getting an energy of him being very hurt by some sort of rumours or behavioursbof someone and it shattered his "views" of some people. Maybe there was a rumour or something spreading about him among guys that either isnt true and he feels horrible that someone put it out there and people believe it and now thinks everyone thinks bad of him or something, or maybe the rumors actually true, and he's certain someone he thought was his friend started it and whichever it is he feels really shitty and austrasized about it. Dont know if thats actually true - like if he's been really austrasized or not, but thats definitely what he feels. Back to the topic tho - his overal thoughts besides that, on his image among male idols is they think he's very cool and fierces, he thinks he's kind of a role model especially for younger ones, like ifhglgkg yk that energy of a big and little sis, and the younger one looks up to the bigger one. So in a way i think he thinks that a lot of guys look up to him and think he's really cool.

Female: here i don't pick up much on his reputation persee but he thinks that lots of female idols just look at him from afar and admire him, despite really wanting to get close or make a move but for some reason i get the feeling that they don't? As if he's there to just be admired but not touched😂 like the art in the museum. Maybe he has heard rumours or something about people really liking him and thinking about or wanting to make a move. But again im no getting much of a confirmation if they actually do or not. Oh and also in this reading rumours were pretty evident, so maybe he's someone that has had to deal with lots of that. Maybe he's in those kinds of groups where theres always some drama happening😂 or he just enjoys endulging in rumours or gossip himself? Idk but that stuck out in this reading so🤷🏻‍♀️

[aychama]

Oh my gosh! Im really flattered that you think this way! It means that I have done a good job so far with my Narinder 😌

I %100 understand your concerns regarding the plot and the upcoming betrayal. It wont be a 180 in their personalities and Narinder wont be this comically evil character either. I will do my best to push these two poor souls as much as I can.

But how do you do that to two people that love eachother?

Easy. Fear, lies and manupilation done by other characters that feed the current spy/knight and king plot.

The whole reason why I added Chelsea to the story is to intruduce a harsh conflict to it. To be the catalyst to this pairings downside. But funny enough she wont be the start of it. Fox, the advisor of Narinder has his teeth into him since he was a child and he is the reason why the big rift happens between the sibling kings.

I also have plans with Lambert's missing sister. Her just existing will move Lambert to the extremes. Familial love and revenge is one of my favorite things to see in media and I sure as hell will use it!

I also do understand the 'Narinder did nothing wrong' kind of look into his character and that 'he didnt lie about anything just didnt tell us of his plan' as well. In my comic, he doesnt have the plan to sacrifice Lambert from the get go, he wouldn't even think about it until Fox and Chelsea keep pushing him and fill his head about Lambert betraying him.

The betrayal from Lambert wont be predetermined either. The grief and anger will consume them too much for them to even think about what they are doing and listen to what Narinder is saying to them.

All of this will start boiling before Kallamar's defeat. Lambert will hear a conversation between Fox and Narinder during Lambert's birthday celebration and the heartbreak will start. They will still continue to serve him after it.

Chelsea will have the information that Lambert is a spy and use it to blackmail them to be obidient to her and use her position and Narinder's actions with killing 2 of his siblings and the reactions from Kallamar and Shamura over Narinder to pressure him with other nobles.

The pressure from Chelsea, Kallamar, Shamura and the nobles will be too much for Narinder that he will stop protecting Lambert and he wont go easy on them emotionally which will create the heartbreaking era of Lambert's emotional torture from Chelsea and Narinder turning a blind eye to it.

Lambert lying to Narinder the whole time as a spy and not being able to confess it all, Narinder having literal power over their life and that making his feelings and desires conflict in their relationship will be their main dynamic.

Anyway before I spoil all of the plot, just know that I have a lot of things planned. I dont know if I will be able to satisfy everyone but I just hope you guys have fun with all the angst and heartbreak I have planned for these poor souls !

You guys know how it’s said that cats purr heals? Yea…