#but also him reminding her Ezra is boring and she deserved better!!!

[nicolibbyquotes]

“What was your line, then?" "Well, why bother telling you now?" he asked, with a grin that was more like a self-satisfied smirk. "Maybe I'll just let you ponder it. You know,” he added, taking a step toward her, "when you need something to occupy your mind over the course of your monotonous life with Fowler.”

- “The Atlas Six” by Olivie Blake

[driptape]

andreuya + ezra!

♥ 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 . . .

gives nose/forehead kisses

ezra bc height babes . i’m pretty sure his lips reaches her forehead with them just standing next to each other .

gets jealous the most

boffum ? fucking jealous messes and willing to confront the other on it too . i wouldn’t be surprised that drea gets jealous more often though because he’d go missing . entertains too many bitches and whatnot . has cheated on her multiple times . but he’s a jealous that’s very obvious and gonna get whoever she’s with beat up .

picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

definitely ezra . if he’s not working then he’d come get her himself , otherwise i’m assuming he’d send someone to get her . he’s better off coming himself bc drea will put up a fight and try to run from his henchmen .

takes care of on sick days

drea takes care of ezra when he’s sick . y’know how men act . they’re literal fucking babies when they don’t feel good and he’s no different . 

drags the other person out into the water on beach day

him agreeing to go out on a beach day should be enough , but no . drea’s def dragging his ass to the water . probably baits him somehow lol .

gives unprompted massages

drea bc she’s bored and misses him . she’s also an attention whore so . . . 

drives/rides shotgun

drea’s your passenger princess . fuck . . . even your backseat princess if someone’s driving them around . i feel like ezra wouldn’t want or let her drive . would rather have security around her at all times . but yea . . . she wouldn’t let him do that . 

brings the other lunch at work

ezra when he randomly shows up to her studio . usually when she’s working , it’s hard for her to step away because she’ll forget whatever idea she came up with .

has the better parental relationship

ima go with drea ? just because i know she has a good relationship with her family . it definitely isn’t the best since she started dating ezra . her family thinks she deserves better than him , but otherwise . . . they’re great . 

tries to start role-playing in bed

drea . . . just for shits and giggles . something to spice it up . costume and all . 

embarrassingly drunk dancer

ezra but like only in private ? she’d so be laughing so hard at him and he’d pull her in with him .

still cries watching titanic

ezra and he pretends like he isn’t bc thugs don’t cry , but she knows him .  

firmly believes in couples costumes

probably drea tbh . she’d want to take really good photos of it too . like goes all out when it comes to costume themes . will scout out places and items to make it look really good . 

breaks the expensive gift rule during christmas

ezra and forget about it being christmas . he’d spoil her randomly just because he can and he wants to . however , she’ll always wonder if his expensive gift is an “ i’m sorry “ gift or not .

makes the other eat breakfast

neither / both ??? idk they don’t seem like the breakfast types ? more so of the working types but they’ll always remind each other to eat . lol maybe it’s ezra actually . . . idk he’d be more likely to make her eat . get a personal chef and everything . 

remembers anniversaries

drea . fucking always . the man would forget his own birthday if it was possible . also , she’s extra and thinks everything’s an anniversary and ezra’s got more shit to worry about than drea wanting an excuse to have him with her .

brings up having kids

both ? kinda lol . drea would do it more jokingly and imagine type shit . not that she wants them now but would talk about the cute things . like how cute she’d be . probably ask him if he’d cheat on her lmfao . 

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass 25

Read along on AO3 Here

<< Previous Chapter <<     >> Next Chapter >>

This time: Thrawn tries to seek out Eli. Grysk poison claims lives aboard the Steadfast.

Next time: Un’hee tires of keeping secrets.

-/

Thrawn prided himself on his commitment and duty, his ethos as a warrior. Being back in his preferred type of position, under a worthy leader no less, was the homecoming he’d been waiting for. He did not mind being planetside, but his home was among the stars, aboard a ship, facing the enemy, poised for battle.

The crew of the Steadfast was eager to prove themselves to him, and there were no hiccoughs or bumps with having a human aboard the bridge - Jedi or otherwise - under Ar’alani’s watchful gaze. They, having experience working together, had an easy adjustment period, and Thrawn’s time away from direct command left better equipped to suggest rather than command his CO when he felt deviations from her orders appropriate. She didn’t indulge him often, and they certainly debated - sometimes in raised voices or dragged away into a conference room - many things. It was a challenge. More than that, it was rewarding.

But something was missing.

Ezra’s words had stayed with Thrawn. Thrawn knew Ivant was still on this ship. So why hadn't he seen him?

Thrawn felt an almost compulsive need to see his now former commanding officer. Ar'alani had mentioned during their discussion that she had recommended him for commendations again and been obstinately denied. It surprised her, but it said something about the state of the Admiralty and Aristocra. The Aristocra had begrudgingly agreed to a promotion for him. The Admiralty had rejected it outright, believing that Ar'alani's human officer deserved punishment, not reward.

If not for the more sinister reasons behind their refusal, Thrawn would have been glad for it. Right now, for the first time in their careers, they were on even ground.

It wasn't long before he found an in.

The Steadfast, despite being a large ship, had very tightly knit groups of officers, though the majority of the bridge crew did find themselves on opposite ends of whatever Aristocra squabble was on the agenda that cycle. Thrawn had expected to hear from the Navigators, but neither Un'hee or Vah'nya - both of whom were reportedly also still aboard the ship - had been anywhere to be seen. Admiral Ar'alani would not speak of any of them, and her replies to Thrawn's admittedly mild inquiries were met with tight lips.

The officer wasn't anything special. In fact, he was rather ordinary. Gossiped with the rest of the officers, was typically in the officer's lounge after hours drinking with the rest of the staff. But, he’d traded stories about Captain Ivant’s early days in the CDF with the rest of the officers. With him back on the ship, it was a means of taking credit for his part in the making of the man, obviously. He was older and towards the end of his career. Respectful enough but hardly looking for an expansion in his duties.

And he’d spoken within earshot of Faro.

Junior Commander Faro, who just so happened to find herself in Ar’alani’s shadow when she wasn’t off gathering intel. “Senior Commander Cinsar,” She mentioned to Thrawn casually one evening when she’d been leaving the mess as he’d entered with Ezra one step behind him.

His eyebrows had gone up, but Faro hadn’t said anything else. She hadn’t needed to. The slightest warmth in her usually deadpan gaze, the smallest quirk of her lips said it for her. She knew what he was looking for. He was hardly transparent, that much he was sure of. Outside of his inquiry to Ar’alani, he hadn’t mentioned Ivant, Un’hee, or Vah’nya despite his curiosity.

However, regardless of his well-concealed emotions, Ezra was concerned, which meant the young Jedi would leave no possible lead or ally alone, rallying them to his cause. Thrawn had no idea what his former protege and current… ward (protege came to mind, but he dismissed it) managed to discuss while he was out of commission. Ezra hadn’t been forthcoming on most of it, citing it ‘boring Imperial-speak’ and he’d be damned if he asked Faro for her recount of events He didn’t care to know that badly, nor did he care to give any more information to any more third parties.

He didn’t begrudge the fact that he had these emotions. Emotions and motivations could be powerful tools if utilized correctly so long as one was cognizant of both the potential strengths and weaknesses that came with them. Presently, his desire to know if he’d been correct was a far safer topic when compared to what he’d do if that was the truth. If Vanto was being censured, as his… subconscious self had so helpfully informed Eli (and unknowingly, Ezra), what was the nature of such a thing? That was what Thrawn wanted to know.

So, as if it were an innocent coincidence, he chose to sit at the same table as the Senior Commander, one seat left between them, and Ezra blissfully unaware across the table. Ezra asked a question, and his verb conjugation - while improving - was just suboptimal enough to draw Cinsar’s attention.

Thrawn saw pathways in the conversation, but he was content to let Ezra carry them while he supplemented the precise dialogue necessary to lay his subtle trap.

-/

Meticulously plotting a way for their paths to cross was, in the end, unnecessary. Three days after chatting up Commander Cinsar, Thrawn’s fellow captain made his way to the bridge midway through the second shift. He held a datapad in his hands, but made no effort to consult it. Instead, he carefully extracted Commander Velbb from his conversation with the Admiral about whatever complaint he’d had this hour and pulled Ar’alani aside for a quiet conversation.

Thrawn had been so preoccupied by the sight of russet skin and golden-brown hair in a sea of blue and black that he’d all but missed the appearance of Un’hee.

In an unorthodox move, she marched up to him wrapping her arms around his middle in a hug, her sharp chin digging in just south of his diaphragm. She tipped her head back to look up at him. The look in her eyes reminded him of that night, months ago, when she had sought both he and Ezra out for comfort. It was that alone that kept him from stepping back and out of her embrace. Instead, albeit awkwardly, he patted her back.

"You are back to normal?" She asked. "No lasting effects?"

He nodded, holding her gaze all the while. Still, one non-confirming eyebrow rose in increasing concern for her very affectionate outburst. Convinced, she released him, a dark flush lighting up her cheeks in the infrared. Her actions were impulse driven then, Thrawn supposed. "I hear you identified the poison. You have my thanks."

She smiled, her facial heat increasing even more. "It was nothing." She tilted her head, adding shyly, "And congratulations on your promotion, Captain."

"Thank you, Navigator Un'hee." He fixed her with an inquisitive look, more than ready to get back to business. "What brings you to the bridge?"

"I was accompanying Captain Eli," She said, looking back to Ivant and Ar'alani briefly. "Something has happened."

"What?"

She shook her head, and he escorted her to a vacant weapons station for privacy. "He would not tell me," Un'hee admitted. "We have not seen him recently. He has been hidden in his office for days, trying to find where and how things have been happening."

"Do you think he's found something?"

Fearful eyes looked up into Thrawn's, and the child Navigator nodded only once. "There are-"

"With me, Captain Mitth'raw'nuruodo," Admiral Ar'alani ordered. Her tone indicated there was no time to argue.

The Navigator very carefully skirted around Thrawn, rushing back to Vanto's side. The Captain, who Thrawn could tell was positively exhausted, met his gaze. His pink lips quirked the slightest bit upward, and despite the cool professionalism lingering there, something in Eli's expression softened, just for a second. The moment broke as quickly as it came with Un'hee tucking herself under his arm and against his side. Thrawn made a mental note to revisit this moment in his mind's eye later.

Surprisingly, Admiral Ar'alani didn't comment on Un'hee's inherent clinginess. While she certainly had a soft spot for her Navigators, indulging such behavior (on the bridge, no less) was peculiar. He said nothing, however, choosing to observe as the Admiral gave her orders and led them from the bridge.

They passed Bridger and Faro on the way to their destination, both of whom wore matching grim expressions. Un'hee was left in their care, rather unwillingly. Whatever she'd been about to say was silenced with a brief, sharp look from Eli.

When they arrived at their destination, Thrawn understood why the Navigator hadn't been allowed to accompany them. They entered the medical quarter, but instead of turning toward the treatment area, they went to the morgue.

Three male and one female Chiss, their modesty preserved with sheets pulled to their clavicles. Even in death, their faces still held the slightest tension.

"Do not touch them with your bare hands," Ar'alani warned, confirming his suspicions.

"Blue death?" He asked, already suspecting the poison to be to blame.

"You have not seen it," She said. "Our medical reports are-"

Vanto, who had been silent this entire time, already donned gloves and had begun to peel back the sheet on the first of them. Then, he went to each subsequent body and similarly drew their shrouds down to just above the waistline. He stood back. Now, he wouldn't meet Thrawn's gaze. His gaze held hidden anger, and he kept it pointed at the floor.

"There was no time to administer the antidote?" Thrawn asked Ar'alani.

Ar'alani looked to Eli. Tension thickened the air. Eli didn't look up. Thrawn slid his eyes between them, trying to discern the meaning without giving his curiosity away.

"No," Eli said. His voice was worn, subdued. His gaze flicked from Ar'alani, something wordless there, then to Thrawn. "When it's done right, the poison kills quickly. Under ten minutes. The wrong amount takes longer, and causes more pain, as you no-doubt recall."

Ar'alani gave Eli a strong glare about something he'd said. He didn't respond. Interesting, he thought.

"The black spots?" He indicated the mess of acid-formed wounds on one of their chests.

"Where the acid comes close to the surface, almost eating through. It destroys the lung, and eats the bone. Metabolized through skin, and only grows more acidic by the chemical process of breathing. The color is blood and acid, beneath the skin," Ar'alani said.

"Even without an immediately fatal dose, it works quickly," Thrawn said. "I was unable to breathe within two minutes of Commander Wes'lash'andi dosing me with the poison."

Ar'alani hummed. "We are trying to find the reason why they were poisoned." She looked up from one of the bodies to Vanto. "Captain Ivant has been trying to figure out which families are involved. Un'hee's recount of events mentioned Copero. Commander Wes'lash'andi mentioned it to her before you showed symptoms. Considering when it happened, we pulled all of the ship's logs and all data from the shipyard from a month prior to our docking until the day we left."

"He would not be so overt," Thrawn commented. He examined the wounds more closely. They were ugly and odiferous, even despite the harsh chemical-clean smell of the morgue. "It was meant to deceive."

"It was," Vanto agreed. "Which is why I did more than that." He gestured to the datapad tucked between his arm and torso. "There was nothing smuggled in Copero, though that was a hint. He narrowed down our location." The human looked between them. "Commander Slasha was considered neutral as far as politics was concerned. However, he was seeing someone aboard the Steadfast prior to his transfer to the Compass. He gestured to the female Chiss. "Lieutenant Dorn'ati'vano. He talked about her often, and fondly."

Ar'alani sighed. "Her family is loyal to House Inrokini."

"Her grandmother is of that house," Eli confirmed.

"Are you suggesting suicide?" Thrawn asked, frowning.

"Not exactly." Eli sighed, and gave Ar'alani a significant look.

"There are more infiltrators aboard. We believe one group eliminated the other as a means to prevent incrimination."

"And the rest of House Inrokini's representation in the crew?" Thrawn wondered aloud. "That should be where we begin."

"They are here, Mitth'raw'nuruodo,” Ar’alani indicated. “Dead."

Thrawn's expression darkened. "Were they found together?"

"Yes," Ar'alani said.

The Chiss captain very carefully examined the deceased woman's fingernails. "Her fingers are damaged, like she touched the poison directly," He commented mildly. "And yet you insist this is not suicide?"

Eli cleared his throat. “No. This was done intentionally by outside parties.”

“Your evidence, if you please, Captain.”

Ar’alani fixed Thrawn with a look, as if to remind him that he wasn’t Vanto’s commander anymore. Vanto didn’t seem to mind. “The bodies were discovered hours after their death. It’s a little hard to tell what with the poison doing what it does, but they were dead for at least eight hours before they were found, seeing as they didn’t show up for their shifts.”

Thrawn watched Eli intently, waiting for him to expand upon his point. “This would look like a suicide, if one wasn’t aware of what they were working with, or all the details.” The human stood at attention, and despite his obvious exhaustion, cut a very confident, convincing profile. Now was hardly the time for Thrawn to consider attraction, but he could not deny that his fellow Captain’s combination of cool confidence and warm eyes, the way his lips curled around his Cheunh would be devastatingly distracting if there weren’t larger matters at hand.

“And those details?” Thrawn asked, voice low, coiled. Ready to see the patterns in whatever data Vanto had no-doubt collected. From the corner of his eye, Thrawn could see Ar’alani roll her eyes and put her hands on her hips. He didn’t have time to figure out what was exasperating her so.

Eli smiled. It spoke of momentary victory. A benchmark met. “We should have received a transport vessel at the end of the overnight shift. The manifest said it was supposed to deliver back up fuel and shield generators for the next cycle. It was a precautionary shipment. Someone waved it off.”

“These four?” Thrawn indicated the deceased.

“No.” His expression turned grim. “They were informed that the shipment was cancelled by someone else. Their communications, from what we could recover, indicated they were furious about it.” Ivant looked to Ar’alani, who nodded. “And it wasn’t until after their time of death that the ship was deleted from our logs. Whomever was responsible expected us to be tripped up at a quadruple suicide.” Chiss were prideful. Suicide, to them, was not an honorable death, and thus would be treated as an extreme exception, the indicators important to the families of the deceased as it would be considered a blight on their reputation.

Thrawn hardly cared about social stigma. “How did you know a shipment had been deleted? You did not say you pulled future manifests,” He said instead.

“I didn’t,” Eli agreed, shrugging, “Didn’t think I had to. I keep tabs on those automatically.”

Ar’alani said, “Captain Eli’van’to is obsessive about cargo and supply inventory, despite his express wishes to hold a command position,” For the Admiral, such a statement was practically an affectionate jibe. “Who am I to deny him his love of supply analysis?”

[backpackbrigade]

Backpack Playlist 5/27/19

I no longer have a radio show so this is where I’m gonna be posting my thoughts and playlists! Have fun, who cares. Apple Music/Spotify links at the bottom. Enjoy. 

“Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” - Kate Bush, Hounds of Love (1985, EMI)

A gay icon, not much to say beyond that. We love some extra as shit background vocals.

“Bags” - Clairo, Immunity (2019, Fader)

First single off Clairo’s new LP coming out at some point this year. Literally all I can think when I hear the guitar line in this song is Avril Lavigne, and I say that with the utmost respect and love. Big ups to VW alum Rostam for the production on this track and Danielle Haim for drums - does this mean Clairo is now part of the PC Music squad AND the VW-adjacent rap/indie rock squad??? Her career is definitely pretty strange so far, but I’m hype to see her blow up beyond the world of the Youtube algorithm chewing up and spitting out DIY music videos. This track is also kinda full circle for her - in her big Pitchfork feature last year, she talked about being starstruck after seeing one of the Haim sisters on a plane listening to SOPHIE, and now she’s got one of them on a track. We love growth.

“Kisses 2 My Phone” - Sega Bodega, self*care - EP (2018, NUXXE)

Lona (aka MANIIK aka BABY GAMELAN) shared this EP with me last year, and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. Some glitchy trap beats and subtly depressing lyrics about sending kisses to your phone and losing love. Scottish experimental pop kid who gets in your ears and won’t leave.

“Even the Shadow” - Porches, Pool (2016, Domino)

A classic, both Pool and their newer album The House (2018, Domino) remind me of a very specific time in my life when I was spending 12 hours in the photo studio every other weeknight and played Porches on shuffle to get through it. Very sad stoner synthy alt-pop for gay kids with lots of insecurity but dreams of 2014 soft pale tumblr aesthetic escapism!!

“Hatin” - Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats, Anger Management (2019, Sugar Trap)

Remember when Rico was just a Soundcloud kid with a stellar remix of “The Race” under her belt?? When I first heard that track in the background of a friend from high school’s Instagram story, I literally dropped my phone trying to lyric search it to see who sang it. Big ups to Lafayette (a newly minted Howard University grad :,) ) for putting me on. Rico’s always been bffs with Kenny, so this collab record isn’t surprising, but I didn’t expect it to be this good!!! Very excited to see her blowing up on Tik Tok rn, maybe she’ll finally get what she’s owed. And she deserves more than just a 2 second cameo in the Old Town Road music video………

“Dig” - Lance Bangs, Lance Mountain - EP (2016, Citrus City)

Reminds me of screamy jangly indie rock from the summer after my first year when I lived in a commune and got a stick and poke from a friend who was three mojitos deep. Also, Citrus City is awesome and we love to support VA labels!!

“Livin’ On a Prayer” - Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986, Vertigo)

Mostly putting this on here because it’s the ending soundtrack to a great little animated short film I watched recently called WORK (2009) by Michael Rianda. It’s a super 2009 short, but it’s fascinating because it feels like the aesthetic halfway point between Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected (2000) and Bojack Horseman (2014-) style absurdity. It’s not the subtlest anti-capitalist cartoon out there, but it’s very cute and funny.

“20 Ghosts III” - Nine Inch Nails, Ghosts I-IV (2008, The Null Corporation)

Put this back to back with Bon Jovi because the weird guitar/vocal growls sound like the “Livin’ On a Prayer” digital doo-wops put through an insane pedal filter. Heard it for the first time when I was watching Laura Poitras’ documentary Citizenfour (2014) - she used it for the super haunting opening and closing scenes, and I can’t think of any better use for Trent Reznor’s sad garage dad phase guitar music.

“Guap” - Yaeji, Yaeji EP (2016, GODMODE)

No introduction necessary, hopefully. Gives me third year queer party vibes, and if you know what that means, congratulations. You’re part of an in-group now. Listen when you need subtle hype up music.

“Indica” - Dizzy Fae, Free Form Mixtape (2018, self-released)

When I showed a friend a picture of Dizzy Fae, their first response was that she’s probably from Amsterdam or Berlin or something and floats between secret clubs all week long before performing herself. She’s actually from Minnesota and is way younger than either of us assumed, so big ups to her for projecting the coolest vibes imaginable. Her vocal distortion is a little FKA Twigs, but she knows how to fuckin rap on the rest of the EP. Well worth a full listen.

“Flower Moon (feat. Steve Lacy)” - Vampire Weekend, Father of the Bride (2019, Columbia)

Best track on this new album, imo, but I can’t stop thinking about Vampire Weekend for a completely different reason. When this album came out, literally everyone was making fun of it for sounding like a Paul Simon redux. A lot of people praised it for the exact same reason lol. But Paul Simon’s relationship with cultural appropriation is a lot like Ezra Koenig’s, and not enough people have made that connection. Remember when Paul Simon broke the cultural boycott with Apartheid-era South Africa to make Graceland (1986)?? Everyone shit all over him for not only straight up taking South African music styles and centering himself in their vocal story, but doing it all in the midst of the largest cultural boycott in modern history. It’s a good album, I won’t pretend it’s not, but it’s deeply problematic and disappointed a lot of people who expected something better from a guy who knew what he was doing. Reminds me of 2008-2012 Vampire Weekend!! Anyway, listen to this track for Steve Lacy, if nothing else.

“Ur Phone” - boy pablo, Roy Pablo - EP (2017, self-released)

Another Youtube algorithm kid, boy pablo was in everyone’s feeds because this EP is the perfect summery shimmery gaze-y indie rock. His newer album is a little more uptempo than I personally like, but this track is *chef’s kiss*

“Can the Circle Be Unbroken” - The Carter Family, Can the Circle Be Unbroken: Country Music’s First Family (2000, Sony; original recording 1935)

Really not trying to wade into the country music discourse today, but this track is genuinely full of intense longing and sadness in a way that so clearly changed country/rock music and its relationship to the guitar.

“Before the World Was Big” - girlpool, Before the World Was Big (2015, Wichita)

Their new stuff fucking slaps, and seeing them come to terms with their gender identities is fucking beautiful!! But I always come back to these weird ass nursery rhymes. It’s literally just their harmonies and two guitars, and legend has it if you turn this up to full volume in your car and drive through your hometown, your unrequited high school crush will appear with their spouse and two kids just to rub it in.

“Vroom Vroom” - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom - EP (2016, Vroom Vroom Recordings)

I mean. It’s Charli’s early work with SOPHIE, you’ve gotta just blast this shit and ruin someone’s life. The return to queer hyper pop over the past few years is the only thing sustaining my fucking mental health.

“Xternal Locus” - Chynna & Oklou, Single (2018, self-released)

Another track Lona played for me after I picked her up from work in DC. Lowkey enough to ***** to, highkey enough to **** to ;)

“Cinema” - Kero Kero Bonito, Totep - EP (2018, self-released)

KKB really did an about face with this record, but I still fucking love them. It’s still sunny and glittery pop, but with a chilled-out vibe. Their intense pop records are like the come up, and this is the chill smoke sesh the day after. Just vibey enough to let you chill out and kick back, but keeps you on your toes with some unexpected samples and glitchy moments.

“Jack the Ripper” - SadGirl, Breakfast for 2 - Single (2018, Suicide Squeeze)

We love surf rock, and that’s all I’m gonna say for this. You either vibe with it you’re bored as shit.

“watch you sleep.” - girl in red, Single (2019, self-released)

Music To Sleep To.

Playlists

[immortalpramheda]

PLL ‘Till DeAth Do Us PArt’

Well, this is it. The final episode of Pretty Little Liars. I'll be honest, I had very low expectations for the finale. And I was even more disappointed than I expected to be. I guess some part of me hoped that we'd get lots of answers, and I’d be able to go back and rewatch from the beginning and piece it all together. But of course that didn’t happen. I’ve had some time to process it all and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I did. The finale was a ridiculous mess but I did enjoy it. It was just a bit unsatisfying. I don’t know what else I expected from the show though. And don’t get me started on the full circle ending. So, here goes. The final ever analysis of a new PLL episode.

The beginning of the episode was so… odd. The Liars are just chatting. Their conversation was really weird. About frozen panties or some shit. Then Lucas comes along tap dancing. Umm??? I did not expect that to be the last we saw of Lucas. And then Jenna comes along riding on a horse. Okay?? And then it starts snowing… and it was just Mona looking into a snow globe. Imagine if the episode had ended like that??? If it was all Mona’s imagination. That would have actually been amazing! Anyway, the person in the back hoodie comes to visit Mona (in Welby I think she was) and she says she never would have guessed it was them. It must have been Wren!

All of the girls doing the shhh in the opening credits was amazing!! The perfect way to end the beginning of the final episode.

The first half of the episode focused on all the ships. I found myself getting bored for the majority of it. It was pretty much just fan service. And it felt different. It had a very different vibe.

Ezria were planning their wedding. I am so happy they acknowledged Aria’s ugly cry!! That was amazing! Aria can’t have kids. It was heartbreaking when she broke down and told Ezra. And they had that song that was playing when they found Maya’s body. Why are they messing with my emotions like this??

A year later, Emison have twins. Twin girls. Seriously, how many twin girls are there in Rosewood?? Okay, they’re just acting like a family and forgetting the fact that A.D violated Ali like that. Ali proposed. Which was pretty sweet, but I still don’t care. They do make a cute family, but I'm sorry, I just cannot support their relationship after everything that has happened.

I am so happy that Melissa was back!! I was so, so excited to see her in the black hoodie! That was everything I ever wanted! But… my heart sunk when it was revealed it was only Mona wearing a very realistic looking mask. Anyway, it was great to get to see Melissa in a black hoodie at least once. It really suited her. It was a missed opportunity not making her A.

Spoby! Spencer and Toby have always been my OTP and we got some great Spoby scenes. Or so I thought. I got so emotional when they were playing Scrabble. My Spoby heart! That is how they first bonded. That was the beginning of Spoby. They had their first kiss the morning after the first time they played Scrabble. And the S scrabble piece necklace that Toby gave her. Scrabble is their thing. I got really emotional watching that. ‘Limerence’. That was the final word of their game. The kind of unrequited love. My heart!! There were so many great Spoby scenes on the episode. But to think none of them were actually Spoby.

Haleb. I’m so bored of them. Don’t have much to say about them. Mona caused some drama in their relationship. Hanna was trying tog get pregnant. And in the end she did. Pretty boring typical stuff. So much unnecessary drama. We all know they’re going to have happy endings.

Umm, the HBO level sex. Okay… Lol I was cringing so hard at those scenes. And the music… Just, I was questioning what I was watching?

The Lost Woods Resort has been remade. It’s no longer a creepy place. It was nice to see them all chatting like adults for once. All of them together.

So, Addison is the new Alison. A bitchy mean girl. She is exactly how Alison used to be. And she has her own clique, with 4 other girls. It’s literally the Liars all over again. And a new A for their generation. I’m not sure how I feel about that whole thing. One of them is Maya’s niece. Jenna though. I love her! “I can smell a bitch a mile away.” ICONIC!

Mona! So, she has been working for A.D. She was told to wear the Melissa mask and spy on the Liars. And this whole time she’s had no idea who A.D was.

Mary is still in prison. When Spencer met with her it was so weird. That’s when I started to suspect that maybe that wasn’t Spencer. Their conversation was odd and full of twin clues.

The Wine Moms!! They mentioned the basement but we still don’t know how they got out! So good to see them get drunk together again. They need a spin off show!

So Spencer just threw herself at Toby. It made my Spoby heart happy, but none of this was actually even Spoby! I am so mad. Spoby shippers were robbed by this ending.

When Spencer was back in the barn, when just a second ago she was with Toby, that’s when I knew for sure they were going there. And when Mona slapped her. “De ja vu bitch!” OMG!!! And then she woke up in the strange room. It was like the Dollhouse all over again.

They went there!! They actually went there! Twincer/Spencerietta is confirmed!! Spencer was staring at her reflection and her reflection did something different and I was shaking. I can't believe they actually went there! I knew it, but I still hoped it would be something better.

Alex Drake. Spencer’s twin sister. She lived in London. She happened to meet Wren one day when he came into the bar she worked at. He was convinced it was Spencer. He’s always had a thing for her. He ordered a vodka soda which is what Spencer ordered back in S1. Omg I was dying at this point!! Wren has always had a thing for the Hasting sisters. Omg.

Alex didn’t know about anything. She didn’t know she had a twin sister. She didn’t know she had another sister Charlotte. She didn’t know her mother was Mary Drake. Wren told her everything and that’s when it all started. When A.D began.

Okay, so wasn’t Wren living with Melissa in London?? How did Melissa have no idea about Alex?? Remember when Spencer visited Melissa in London. Was that actually Alex?? I am so confused.

Okay, so to get this straight. Alex Drake is Spencer’s twin sister. She’s British (Troian did an amazing job but her accent sounded a bit off at times). She wanted revenge for her sister Charlotte’s death. Wren helped her. She is A.D.

When Hanna saw Spencer when she was locked in that barn, that was Alex. She was one looking at the Hastings photo albums. She was the one who kissed Toby when he was about to leave. She’s the one who seduced him in the cabin. And she was the one at the airport with Wren. They were arguing. That’s why that scene was so awkward when they saw Ezra.

Alex was jealous of Spencer’s life. She wanted to become Spencer. She wanted her life. Very similar to Ali and Courtney in the books. Alex wanted a friendship like what Spencer has.

I have always loved Wrencer. I always kind of wished they’d get back together at some point. But this is not what I expected. I loved it though! Alex is a crazy bitch and made Wren shoot her in the same place Spencer was shot. Fuck this is what I always wanted in a villain on this show. I love it!!

I AM SO FUCKING MAD THAT THEY KILLED WREN!!! Alex that crazy bitch killed him and turned his ashes into a diamond! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! That was the final straw. She is a fucking psychopath and I love her but I can’t believe she killed Wren. He’s now a fucking diamond I want to cry.

She kidnapped Ezra as well. And Ezria’s wedding was almost ruined. Aria’s wedding dress was so ugly. Who decided on that ugly dress??

Wren is the father of Emison’s babies! I fucking knew it!! Well, I guess the only good thing is as well as living forever as a diamond, he will also live on in the twins. Alex always knew he’d make beautiful babies.

So, what was Mary’s game? Whose side was she on? She says she didn’t know if Alex was even alive. She was taken right after she was born. Well, Mary sold her to get out of Radley. I love Mary and Spencer’s relationship and I just hope that it really was real. After everything Spencer deserves a real mother.

So, Ezra and Spencer are locked in ‘some do it yourself dungeon’. I was laughing at how ridiculous the whole things was.

So, now that Wren is dead Spencer wants Toby. SHe’s obsessed with him and wants to be Spencer so that he will love her. That’s some messed up shit and I love it!

So Sara was basically irrelevant?? We never got to know her motive. Was she kidnapped or not? Where are the answers??

Charlotte met Archer Dunhill on the flight to Paris. She’d been in contact with Wren and met Alex at the airport. That flashback was great! So, that was how they met and how they became such good friends.

Okay, so the whole thing with Archer marrying Alison was nothing to do with Alex or A.D or any fucking thing. This is just leaving me with more questions. I am so confused.

Charlotte wanted to keep playing the game. Playing with her dolls. Alex wanted too help. Their relationship was sweet and the goodbye was sad. (And why were there English flags behind them. We know they're in London, you don’t need to keep reminding us!!!)

That was the last time Charlotte and Alex saw each other. That’s why she became A.D. Charlotte told her all about what the Liars did. And what she did to them. And Alex wanted revenge because she blamed them for Charlotte’s death. Okay, yes. A very simple motive. That makes sense. Unlike CeCe’s motive which I still don’t completely understand. But as well as her motive, which I understand, she’s just psychopath who wants to hurt people. Which is everything I wanted A to be.

Spencer’s horse was the first one to find out that Spencer wasn’t Spencer. Animals are smart like that. Then finally Toby started to notice something was off. But Jenna was the next to figure it out. A horse and a blind girl figured it out before anyone else.

And then it took them about 5 seconds to realise that Spencer has an evil twin. Really?? They’ve been wondering who A.D is for years and it takes them 5 seconds to figure it out??

Alex with the axe was everything I wanted in a villain on this show. THIS is the A I wanted! A psychotic bitch who just wants revenge. She doesn’t want people to feel sorry for her because of her tragic backstory. She just wants to hurt people and laugh about it. THIS is what I have always wanted! As cringey and cliche as this whole ting was I loved every minute of it! When she went form British to American accent I got chills! Aaaaaaah! Remember the spoilers that said Wren was A and he dropped his accent mid sentence?? We got that but it was Alex not Wren but it was everything I wanted (almost)! I was living for crazy Alex!

So the Dollhouse 2.0 was actually the house that Toby built. The one he was building for Spencer. Alex bought it, and made the Dollhouse 2.0. It’s completely underground. There was a tunnel system and everything. And an artificial sky. It was so creepy but so cool! I wish we could have seen more of it. The others went to the house and it literally looked like Spencer’s house. Seriously, it’s Dollhouse 2.0.

I LOVED the showdown between the twins where Alex copied everything Spencer said, trying to imitate her as best as she could. And then the others arrived and Toby aimed his gun at them, but he couldn’t tell who was who. That reminded me of something but I could not remember what. And then it came to me. It’s literally a scene from Hannah Montana. When Miley’s evil cousin was pretending to be Hannah Montana and Oliver and Lilly couldn't tell which was the real Miley. Yep, very original scene haha!

When they figured out which was the real Spencer by asking what her favourite poem is I started crying. The whole thing was ridiculous and stupid, but it made me so emotional. They finally caught A.D. Finally after all this time it’s all over.

The Ezria wedding was beautiful I’ll admit. Not because I necessarily like them, but because they were all together. They were all happy. A.D was not there to ruin anything anymore. And wtf was Marlene's cameo?? I couldn’t stop laughing omg!!! And she did the shhh!?!!

The Liars right at the end ruined me. It was a goodbye to them. This is the last we are going to see of them. And they’re all happy. For the first time in their lives they are actually all happy. I was crying. It’s the end. I’ve grown up with these characters. This is the end of an era.

And Mona got a happy ending too. She is living in Paris. She has a French boyfriend/husband (who I just realised is the cop that came and arrested Alex. On my rewatch I realised he had a French accent in that scene). She has Mary and Alex in her very own Dollhouse. Mona got the real happy ending.

And then the ending we pretend never happened (I rewatched the episode on Australian TV and this scene wasn’t even in it). It came ‘full circle’, as Marlene says. It was literally word for word, scene for scene, from the pilot, except with Addison and her group of friends. What was the actually point of that??

So, overall I didn’t hate it. I actually quite enjoyed it. I was really confused and disappointed when I first finished watching the episode, but after taking some time to process it all I didn’t think it was terrible. I mean, it was still a mess. A huge fucking mess. And it left more questions than answers. But it was a fun and ridiculous ending to the show.

One thing that confused me was that Alex was the name of Spencer’s first boyfriend. Seriously, they could have used a different name that started with A. There are tons of different names! Or did they just forget about him? I always joked that Alex might be A. And hey, Alex did end up being A.D!

Troian did a fantastic job!!! If anyone was going to have a twin, I’m so glad it was Spencer. Troian is a fantastic actress and made it believable. Her accent was a bit off at times but overall Troian was incredible!! She was the saving grace of the episode to be honest.

We all knew Twincer/Spencerietta was confirmed, but a part of me wished it would be something more exciting, like Wren or Melissa. I loved that Wren was a part of it, but it was a missed opportunity not make him and Melissa working together as A/A.D. That would have been amazing! Wren has been my number 1 suspect since the beginning. The thing I’m most upset about in the finale is that Wren is dead and was turned into A FUCKING DIAMOND!! I am so mad. I can forgive lots of things on this show, but not that. That just crossed the line.

There are still so many questions though. What was Ali doing for the 2 years she was ‘dead’? That is one thing I really wanted to know. Did Sara Harvey willing help CeCe or was she kidnapped? Did Melissa have anything to do with A/A.D?? Because from the episode it seems like she didn’t but she was always so sketchy? And how did she know nothing about Alex when she was living with Wren? What ever happened to Eddie Lamb?? What did Bethany’s drawings mean? I was hoping we would learn more about Bethany. Why did Alex impregnate Ali with Emily’s eggs? Was she just a big Emison shipper? I do not understand. We still never found out who Beach Hottie was. And what was the deal with the NAT club? How did Alex make the board game?? Was it Alex with Caleb or did Spaleb actually happen? Did Wren know Archer? How did Alex kill Wren? And most importantly HOW DID THE WINE MUMS GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT??

I’m sure there are many more questions but thats all I can think of right now. Overall I’m actually sad that this is over. It’s been a part of my life 5 years. I’ve wasted so much time searching for clues and theorising. I feel like I’ve grown up with these characters and cast. I am so glad I’m free from this train wreck but a part of me is sad that there won’t be anymore new episodes. I’m going to miss this show. It has frustrated me to no end but I’m sad to say goodbye. This fandom is amazing. We’ve turned this train wreck of a show into memes and inside jokes, and written theories and fan fiction that are so much better than the actual show. This show pretty much makes absolutely no sense. I don’t even know how to explain the premise of this show to others. I wold not recommend watching this show to anyone because in the end it still makes absolutely no sense. But I’m glad I’ve watched it. It was a great experience watching each new episode live. I’ve loved discussing and theorising and making of fun of it with other fans. I feel like no one understands why I love this show. I sometimes wonder myself. But I think it’s partly because it feels like a family. The core of Pretty Little Liars is friendship and I feel like that’s what my relationship with the show is. The fandom is like one big friendship group.

So thank you PLL. Thank you for 5 years of my life I’ll never get back. Thank you for taking me on this rollercoaster of a journey that never really made any sense. Thank you for these characters and for the cast. Thank you for being something that I looked forward to each week. Thank you for being a part of my life. I’ll miss you. You will always have a place in my heart.

"How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."