#but also from a trauma brain standpoint i mean yeah . yeah no strictly speaking i didnt really have a mom did i. never really had parents

[arundolyn]

bpd is really really annoying bc first of all i feel like ive felt whatever way ive been feeling if its been 5+ minutes of feeling that way for my Entire Life. and this lack of emotional object permanence is kinda making me feel like i never had a mom anyway in the entire month since she died

[capripian]

I wanna know about Null!

Fuck yeah! Love her. There’s some stuff I can’t say because my fellow players follow me and I don’t wanna give away her secrets, but I’m excited to talk about her. 

Full Name: Null the Void. Legally not her name, but she legally doesn’t exist so that’s a non-started.

Gender and Sexuality: She’s a trans woman, and she’s bi grey-ace. 

Pronouns: She/her

Ethnicity/Species: Null’s a tiefling, but more importantly she’s a voidwalker- a sort of demigod, where one parent is mortal and one is an eldritch abomination. Practically speaking it means her skin is pure glowing white and her eyes pure black, and she has mercury for blood. 

Birthplace and Birthdate: I can’t say her birthplace, although she lived from infancy on the city planet Mechanus. Her birthdate is complicated because the space calendar is a mess, but it’s the 15th of Gabrin, 20 years ago. 

Guilty Pleasures: I think mostly being frivolous about things that aren’t strictly ‘necessary’. Dresses weren’t really an option for her growing up because of the necessity for practical clothing, but she’d enjoy them. 

Phobias: Mind control! She had a run-in with a cultist a few weeks ago and she almost died, so anything that reminds her of that is scary. Also I think she’s a bit agoraphobic, because Mechanus is very cramped and underground and skyless. Seeing a bunch of wide open space makes her anxious.

What They Would Be Famous For: Probably the several murders of high-ranking businesspeople and planetary government officials she participated in. Another thing, too, but that’s my little secret. 

What They Would Get Arrested For: Probably the several murders of high-ranking businesspeople and planetary government officials she participated in! And a ton of other shit, of course. She’s a rogue. Crime girl! 

OC You Ship Them With: Not my OC, but @idia-and-ortho-shroud‘s Fiz. They’re a changeling, and their initial rocky relationship with Null has transformed into genuine affection and solidarity. 

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: LOT of enemies for my beloved! Tough to say. In this case OC refers more to NPC because, again, D&D, but I feel like the thing pretending to be Captain Dalley Buxton is a pretty strong contender. He’s a sentient glob of darkness and mushrooms whose spaceship the party is currently on, and his First Mate, Alice, choked Null out using Buxton’s powers. 

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: She’s into thrillers, I think? Heist movies and shit. Action movies, too. It’s like nostalgia, and she has a lot of fun with picking out all the parts that don’t work. She’s for sure a talker during movies. 

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: All the negative voidwalker stereotypes go without saying- they get frequently cast in villainous or shady roles. From a somewhat more personal standpoint she hates rags to riches stories. She based her whole childhood in hoping that could happen to her, so now she’s disillusioned about the concept. 

Talents and/or Powers: Null is an incredibly talented rogue. She’s acrobatic, clever, and surprisingly stealthy for someone who glows in the dark. Due to an incident involving a capitalist, Null got holoblade surgery- it allows her to summon hard-light knives from implants in her palms, which interface with enemies’ brain stems and cause their nanites to malfunction. They’re very effective, and she’s very good with blades of all kinds. Additionally, due to her heritage and her experiences she’s been developing psychic powers. She can augment her rolls with little kicks of psychic energy, telepathically communicate with people, read minds, and cause people to perceive her as someone else for a short time.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Null is a fucking badass, that’s why. She’s very much an underdog, and very much someone you want to root for. Her talents make her fun to watch, and her weaknesses make the risks compelling. 

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Null is. Not very nice, necessarily. She’s a good person, and she has a moral compass, but she does kill people and will act harshly on instinct. She can be an asshole sometimes, and I could see how her bluntness could be grating. 

How They Change: Null’s change is mainly about trust. At the beginning, she didn’t trust anybody but herself. She thought of other people just as coworkers without any real emotional attachment, expecting them to be disposable. Now, she has a lot of feelings about her team, who has functionally become her family- Fiz, her partner, and Ailos, her parental figure. She’s become more emotionally open, and less guarded about her past and her trauma. She’s on the path to recovery, baby!

Why You Love Them: So many reasons. All the reasons. I consider her a very compelling character and one I care a lot about. Out of all my characters she might be the most traumatized? Unsure. It’s a tough choice, all things considered, because I tend to make characters with very traumatic backstories. Regardless, she’s amazing and I enjoy playing her. Also, she’s autistic. Because who am I if not someone who projects.