#parents severely abnormal. im abnormal. grew up abnormal. circumstances in my life abnormal one way or the other constantly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arundolyn · 14 days ago

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bpd is really really annoying bc first of all i feel like ive felt whatever way ive been feeling if its been 5+ minutes of feeling that way for my Entire Life. and this lack of emotional object permanence is kinda making me feel like i never had a mom anyway in the entire month since she died

#crow.txt #like im probably almost certainly dissociating now and probably have been like. a lot. recently. just to function. which makes sense #but also from a trauma brain standpoint i mean yeah . yeah no strictly speaking i didnt really have a mom did i. never really had parents #raised by children pretty much. neither of them were responsible enough to have or raise me. hadnt worked through enough shit #not sure either of them ever really wouldve been either. christ i wish anything about my life was normal just once #parents severely abnormal. im abnormal. grew up abnormal. circumstances in my life abnormal one way or the other constantly #either bc my mom was just shy of a full blown hoarder or bc my dads adhd is terrible and he acts super weird #cant really remember ever not being at least kinda embarrassed of my parents #on a broad scale i dont understand the world around me and it doesnt understand me either nor does it even want to #i made a joke the other day at work like 'im mixed and bisexual! NOBODY wants me!' and fuck if thats not just the truth huh

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