#but also Jon is naturally bratty as we know

[anaceshornyblog]

Making them lick someone's boots with je maybe? Or jongerry,,

Still Accepting Prompts! (Please be as vague or specific as you would like)

JonElias

Jon couldn’t hold back a small whimper as Elias used his hair as a handhold shoving his face down. It wasn’t a particularly tight grip, but Elias was firm and Jon couldn’t even think of disobeying. Honestly he couldn’t think much at all having just spent the past few minutes rubbing off against the shoe Elias was shaving him toward. His tongue darted out, barely a kitten lick on the soft leather, and while Jon couldn’t see Elias from this angle he could hear his disappointed sigh.

“Come now Jon, you dirtied them you should take responsibility and clean them up,” Jon could almost see the smirk on his face as he pressed his shoe against Jon’s face spreading Jon’s slick that covered the tip across his lips. Jon opened his mouth his tongue hanging out but he couldn’t get his body to cooperate. Elias sighed as his grip shifted, forcing Jon’s tongue to slide across the expensive leather.

“I suppose I’ll just have to show you more directly,” Jon whimpered, but kept his mouth open, it was always easier when Elias was in control.

JonGerry

“If you want to suck my cock you’ll have to show me how good you are with your mouth first.” Jon wasn’t certain if you could die from embarrassment but Gerry was certainly trying to do Jon in. When Gerry had told him to clean his boots, Jon had reached out only to have his hand slapped away and the tip of one shoved against his cheek.

“You can’t be serious?” Jon eyed the leather, yes they were clean, chosen specifically for this, but still.

“Dead serious,” Jon couldn’t help making a face which had Gerry breaking character for a second, before schooling his expression again. “Come on sweetheart the faster you clean them the faster you can get what you actually want in your greedy mouth.”

Jon but his lip, as though considering giving a put upon sigh. Gerry flicked the remote he held in his hand and Jon gasped clenching down against the plug inside him as it sped up slightly.

“Don’t be a brat,” Gerry said as though he didn’t love Jon giving him a chance to punish him. Jon growled but leaned his head down sliding his tongue across his boot, letting out a small moan. Jon wondered if this actually looked hot, or just ridiculous, glancing up through his eyelashes as he essentially fellated a boot.

If Jon had worried that it would kill the mood, Gerry’s intense expression showed him otherwise. His pupils were blown wide, and if his constant shifting was anything to go by he was clearly having trouble resisting stopping the whole thing to get Jon’s mouth on him instead.

Jon kept up his ministrations, winding Gerry up, knowing he’d pay for it later.

[fairyplam]

A song of ice and fire thoughts;

I’m still- currently- in book 2, BUT, I am aware of most spoilers at this point so…

1. I really love the brattiness of the kids POV, like Jon and Arya (all of them) but I am surprised to find out that Arya is much nicer and much sweeter than I thought originally (before reading the book), I was under the impression that she’s a real brat, loud tomboy kid but she’s actually really sweet , caring and even sensitive kid-

2. Unlike BRAN- which I adore btw- he’s so funny to read most of the time cause he’s so real like- “I need to be the prince but I don’t wannaaa- I want to play outside” he’s so real for that, but also he’s still very sweet kid to he’s siblings :’) I just love all the Stark kids-

3. I - am - a Jon fan. He is- a cocky yet good nature, silly boy who tries to be all grown up and I find it very charming and fun to read- he’s so edgy and “cool” but he’s also like “I want to go back to my beddddd please” love him for that.

4. Caitlyn, I thought I will dislike her, ended up absolutely loving her, my girl is being a mother for a king who’s like only 15ish? She tries her best in a very difficult situation but she’s also so smart and cool like - what?? Love her- hate what’s happening to here later on (not really? I think it’s really cool!)

5. Hope to see lady Stonheart and resurrected Jon meet up lol.

6. Ned come back I miss you ;-;

7. I - absolutely LOVE Robb? I need he’s POV why don’t we have his pov whyyyy😭😭😭 he’s literally the best, I can’t, book 3 will make me sick I know it- AAAHHHH

8. Can’t believe I read asoiaf actually, I never liked the show, especially Jon snow?? So reading it after almost 10 years and loving Jon the most is hilarious turn of events lol

[sxpiosexualx]

GoT Preferences

I was tagged by @tiny-little-bird​ tq for the tag <3

Do you watch the episodes when they air?

Unfortunately they air at 9AM for me, so I catch them online once I have the time. I woke up to watch the finale last season live though just so I could live tweet my reaction along with everyone else!

How often do you rewatch it?

I was on my second rewatch but I sort of forgot where I stopped so I’m definitely going to have to rewatch it one last time before S8. But there are certain episodes I’ve rewatched like four times, namely the final two of Season 6 because I was between flights a lot that year and they had those two showing. I love love love those episodes.

Do you rewatch the previous episode before the next one airs?

Nope! Not unless I plan to really absorb what happened for meta purposes.

One character that everyone seems to like that you don’t care much for:

Tyrion Lannister, I’ve dated someone like him and it put a sour taste in my mouth. Since I watched before I read, I admired him as much as anybody but after meeting him in the books I’ve since been disillusioned. Daenerys too, for obvious reasons that I’m sure I’ve made clear.

Your 3 favorite pairings:

Jonsa

Gendrya - I know people think they’re just a cute shippy pair, I did too but there’s more substance there than people give credit for.

Robb x Sansa - this is crack but I am a sucker for pre-asoiaf works on this pairing. Sansa grew up believing in knights and gallant men of valour because she had Ned and Robb to look to and it  k i l l s  me. There’s not much platonic works out there on this pairing but I don’t mind either way. Anything to fuel my Robb x Sansa depression hours are great lol. We love crack.

also Ned x Cat because it’s practically the only healthy ship we’ve seen on screen.

Favorite scene:

A tie between the Jon x Sansa reunion glomp, Sansa riding in with the KoTV when all hope was lost, and the forehead kiss. BUT, I very much love the entire wildfire sequence during Cersei’s prosecution, the music and cinematography is amazing! Sam seeing the Citadel library with Maester playing in the background was stunning too. Basically, the final two episodes of season 6 were packed with well-shot scenes, no thanks to Miguel Sapochnik. (I really couldn’t choose just one huh)

One character you wish got more appreciation:

Sansa Stark. I don’t blame people, when she’s first introduced to us there’s this bias because we’re seeing her through Arya’s eyes and we all know how Arya views her. But throughout the series I’ve had enough of people complaining that she’s done nothing, and yet come season 6 and 7 once she’s really standing up for herself and making decisions she thinks are right - people call her bratty and “out for herself” like can you give her a break?

Also as much as I adore her on the show, and agree that had she been put through the Ramsay plot, it’s only natural she come to this progression: I very much wish people would have a read of her POV chapters. She’s not some “cold” power hungry bitch, she’s never been and never will be. Sansa’s a sweet young girl that got caught up in everything and yet despite it all, she’s still going. I admire her a lot and hope she survives and proves important to the endgame so all the disgusting victim blaming misogynistic haters can suck it once and for all.

Fanfic or nah?

I fuck with that. I’m still waiting on my AO3 account tho wyd AO3 lemme in I’m finna spread love to all the fanfic writers.

Favorite quote:

lol one quote? here are a few:

“Power resides where men believe it resides… It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall.” - Varys.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” - Jojen Reed.

”We look up at the same stars and see such different things.” - Jon Snow.

“Their dreams were full of songs and stories, the way hers had been before Joffrey cut her father’s head off. Sansa pitied them. Sansa envied them.” - Sansa Stark.

”When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.” - Tyrion Lannister.

“Words are like arrows, Arianne. Once loosed, you cannot call them back.” - Doran Martell.

Do you avoid spoilers?

Depends. If it’s brought to the Jonsa community for speculation then I consider giving it a look, otherwise I stay clear of YouTube suggestions because they’re always so... final? It’s like “Jon Snow’s death CONFIRMED,” or “BLACK WEDDING S8 CONFIRMED,” like shut up lol. Also the reddit script leaks... I don’t know? Sometimes they just seem completely like fanfiction, and not the good kind.

Favorite house words:

“Growing Strong.” - House Tyrell. It’s flowery, easy to be overlooked and underestimated and yet even roses have their thorns. Scheming, but with grace. Not allowing themselves to appear threatening so that they may make friends, and yet all together, the very words of “Growing Strong” alludes to a growing threat.

One character you’d bring back from the dead:

Robb Stark, definitely. He’s a powerful military man, he showed promise as a ruler and he’s not a total dolt. I remember reading somewhere that George had to kill him off because he wouldn’t have fit into the natural progression of the story, he’s made him too invincible. And look how many factors had to come to play to bring the Young Wolf down. He’d be a valuable asset, though that would mean sacrificing Jonsa. But I love him so <3

One character you’d kill, or kill sooner than they were killed:

Daenerys Targaryen, but even I understand she has a part to play in all of this as they all do so there’s really no point in this. It’d only disrupt the plot and I wouldn’t have it any other way(than what GRRM intended, not D&D).

Direwolves or dragons?

Direwolves, they’re loyal. Dragons can’t be tamed and are a threat.

Which was more satisfying: Ramsay dying or Joffrey dying?

Ramsay. They gave a satisfying wrap up by Sansa’s hands. Each punch Jon gave him felt so good too.

Wildlings or the dothraki?

Wildlings, but only because they follow no king and I can respect that. Their way of life, seeing each individual as a free man - I fuck with that.

Favorite Lannister?

Jaime, definitely. I quite like his chapters. He’s never been the quickest and I truly hate whenever that’s been used to snub him. I’ve heard it been said he can be considered as Jon’s foil, and I agree(actually I’d go as far as to compare him to Sansa’s romanticised ideas of the world, though Jon is the better fit in this case). They both started out naive, and Jaime never struck me as innately cruel. For instance, he thought he was being honoured by King Aerys with a white cloak only to later find out that it was to snub his father and rip him of his heir. He believed Cersei truly loved him, only to realise that’s not the case(Cersei’s infatuation with him is a tale of Narcisus falling in love with his own reflection, or rather what Cersei wishes she was). He saved the city, only for people to dub him “Kingslayer.” His tale thus far has been tragic, and out of all the three Lannister siblings, I think he’s most worthy of a redemption arc especially considering how Tyrion is headed to a darker path and Cersei is, well, Cersei. He’s quite the anti-hero. 

To be completely honest I’m not sure I read his arc as a “redemption story” either, it’s more like finally getting a POV for us to better understand how he came to be so jaded.

And me, that boy I was... when did he die, I wonder? When I donned the white cloak? When I opened Aerys’s throat? That boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead.

- Jaime, ASOS.

His chapters to me, serve to humanise him, and I’ve decided I like Jaime Lannister.

Favorite stark?

Sansa, obviously, but I admired Robb and will always weep at how we lost him too soon, a boy who showed so much promise. Also, Bran is my baby boy and I love him dearly.

Would you rather be able to be resurrected anytime, but gain scars and all like Beric, or become a faceless man?

If I had to choose, I suppose resurrection though I don’t think I’d be fond of it at all. I don’t fuck with the faceless men because I don’t fuck with this idea of living life in servitude. I suppose we all do, but I’d hate for it to be that direct.

Would you rather have the rebellion tv show or the conquest tv show?

You’re asking me to choose between seeing the younger versions of Ned’s generation on screen vs. more Targaryen propaganda? Robert’s rebellion, anytime.

I tag @nutellaninja0001 @lilbreck @starkkingss @vivilove-jonsa @occupyvenus @lostlittlesatellites @riahchan @asilentfrenzy @hbicstark @twilight-sparx @qinaliel @fedonciadale @ladywolfmd @myrish-lace-love @viking-hel @trinuviel @itwasmycroftbbc @jonsasnow @thatfictionalgal @eximperial @thewindsofwolves @thecrowandthelittlebird @visenyastargaryen

and anyone that wants a go, really! Tell me I’ve tagged you either way because I’d love reading just about anyone’s preferences haha x

[thosestories]

Am I the only one who enjoyed last episode’s Starkbowl?

I know this episode has sparked many discussions regarding Sansa’s loyalty to Jon. Let me just say I love Sansa, she’s one of my (if not the most) favourite characters just because how real and flawed not-a-mary-sue she is. And people are saying that this episode she didn’t do anything wrong against Jon and that she woud never take Winterfell from him and Arya was being bitchy for no reason with her cause Sansa’s too perfect for that and also she has Petyr wrapped around her finger and blah blah blah. Please, would you just STOP?

Clearly, Sansa was making a half-assed attempt to defend Jon in this episode. To me it even souded like she was trying to passively let everyone know that she disagrees with his decisions but she just sits there and does what he says because a dutiful sister’s supposed to do just that. She was trying to look better and humble in their eyes. Something like playing hard-to-get for the sake of appearances when in fact all you want to do is surrender to the other person. I’m not saying she always wanted this, I’m pretty sure she was happy for Jon to be the KITN and that she loves her cousin, but now that he’s gone and far from her eyes I think her resolve in not feeling jealous and entited is slacking, what with Littlefinger whispering to her ear every day that she is the one supposed to rule the North. And granted, she’s doing a great job at that, which is why the other lords recognize her as a competent ruler and unconsciously support those feelings of entitlement in her. But just look at her expression when she notices Arya watching her - she knows her sister’s not liking it and immediately regrets not trying to be more convincing, which brings us to their next conversation where she tries to remedy that, saying things like “what did Jon expect” and “I’m doing my best here but there’s only so much I can do.” Still, Arya’s not buying it. Also, I think it’s good that Arya confronted her about it in an honest (if a little aggressive) manner.

I didn’t like Arya in the beginning of the series. To me she was just a bit too arrogant. But she’s matured and I think she’s much less bratty now. When Sansa says to her “just say what you mean” I don’t think she expected Arya to counterattack like that, saying upfront what she thought. She then proceeds to make another attempt at convincing her sister that she’s doing her best to hold the North together, which you simply cannot do by cutting every lord’s head off (valid point, plus I LOVE that sarcastic face Sophie pulled as if she was making fun of little Arya being bloodthirsty? It’s so bitchy and perfect) and once she finishes that speach about how they got Winterfell you can see how hard in her head she wishes Arya to finally fall for it. But then Arya replies that it’s not Jon she’s holding the North for, it’s herself, to which Sansa says how could she think such a horrible thing. Now, that sounded unconvincing even to me. But let’s continue: Arya says right to her face that she sees her struggle, Sansa doesn’t want to think it but the thought just doesn’t go away, to which Sansa has no more clever answers. Can I just say that I think Arya is right? Cause she was trained to spot a liar in the House of Black and White, how can you possibly say she’s just being a bitch to her sister with nothing to back it up for the sake of being a bitch? 

Now, what does this show? Does this show that Sansa is a bad character and that she will betray Jon? Of course not! What it shows is that although she’s developed as a character, she is still flawed and she can’t help having a bit selfish nature, even though she doesn’t want to have those selfish thoughts. She’s flawed just like Dany with her double standards or Jon with his I’m-so-honorable-it-got-me-killed attitude. It shows that after what she’s been through, she’s finally thinking for herself. And it’s good that Arya’s there to remind her that she shouldn’t get too carried away. The way I see it she’s like Sansa’s conscience, threatening to bite her in the ass if she doesn’t do the right thing. And that’s very good. Plus I just LOVE how Maisie and Sophie played this scene and how they delivered their lines. They have a great chemistry on set and you can see they’re enjoying attacking one another here. But that’s most likely because they’re great friends in real life.

Also, can we just appreciate the scheming bitch face Sansa makes after Arya confronting her about being a princess who liked nice things cause it made her feel better than everyone? She’s like bitch you wanna do this bring it on xD.

To conclude, I don’t think it’s fair to defend Sansa as a pure innocent who never wanted anything for herself. That would be an insult to the depth of her character. She does have ambitions and it adds a delicious hint of darkness to the mix. As GRRM said, it's about human heart being at conflict with itself, so let’s just appreciate the writing and stop being in denial about her. Her character has never been this sexy and I’d really like to see her interact with Jon like this, just because it would add a very interesting new dynamic to jonsa.

[lilbreck]

AGoT Chapter 9 - 13

If you want to follow along, I'm tagging my ASoIaF reading as tonya rereads asoiaf. While I may read more than five chapters a night, I’ll only have five per post. I wonder how many posts I’ll have per day?

Chapter 9: Tyrion I

Age 25

You know, given the opening of Tyrion’s chapter, I can see why people would want to like him. He starts off by slapping the spoiled and bratty prince. So far, he’s the only likable one out of the whole Southern group.

Also, Tommen is a little angel who deserves far better than the family he was born into. Yes, I’m biased to those who aren’t assholes to Starks, what of it? Also, Myrcella is also an angel. Did Cersei have nothing to do with raising them? Was she too busy spoiling and pampering her eldest?

“Oh, yes,” Tyrion admitted. “I hope the boy does wake. I would be most interested to hear what he might have to say.”

His brother’s smile curdled like sour milk. “Tyrion, my sweet brother,” he said darkly, “there are times when you give me cause to wonder whose side you are on.”

Tyrion’s mouth was full of bread and fish. He took a swallow of strong black beer to wash it all down, and grinned up wolfishly at Jaime. “Why, Jaime, my sweet brother,” he said, “you wound me. You know how much I love my family.”

Given how he noticed the way Jaime and Cersei were acting, it’s obvious Tyrion knows they had something to do with Bran’s fall. Of course, Tyrion is loyal to his family, regardless of how his father and sister regard him.

Chapter 10: Jon II

Catelyn is very brittle and nasty in her grief. Though, I do like how we get a glimpse of her guilt. It’s hard to forgive her for this scene, but as a mother, I can understand how grief and guilt in that situation, and faced with the boy you’ve seen as a threat to your children, might cause you to act like that.

Okay, it says a lot about Jon that he would lie and tell Robb that his mother had been very kind. It also makes me side-eye Robb that he so easily bought it. I still want to know, do they normally go around calling each other by their surnames, or is this a special occasion thing?

“Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle. Who knows?”

Fuck you, this hurts. I wonder what it means that the only people we didn’t see a goodbye scene with from his POV were Sansa and Ned.

Okay, these goodbyes hurt.

Chapter 11: Daenerys II

Okay, a billion people have probably noticed this, but Daenerys’ dream:

Yet that night she dreamt of one. Viserys was hitting her, hurting her. She was naked, clumsy with fear. She ran from him, but her body seemed thick and ungainly. He struck her again. She stumbled and fell. “You woke the dragon,” he screamed as he kicked her. “You woke the dragon, you woke the dragon.” Her thighs were slick with blood. She closed her eyes and whimpered. As if in answer, there was a hideous ripping sound and the crackling of some great fire. When she looked again, Viserys was gone, great columns of flame rose all around, and in the midst of them was the dragon. It turned its great head slowly. When its molten eyes found hers, she woke, shaking and covered with a fine sheen of sweat. She had never been so afraid …

This, in a way, mirrors the way she ends up becoming the Mother of Dragons. And, given how afraid she is of her brother and how seems to be taking on some of his worst traits in later books, it could be that she’s afraid of what she’ll become. Of course, that could just be all coincidence.

This whole wedding just hurts. It’s beyond brutal, and poor Dany is left up there all alone. Though, I do like that, for a moment during the wedding, while she was on the horse, she was happy and felt… free, maybe? Of course, her brother had to fucking ruin it.

Um, is anyone else questioning why he seems to know the word “no” so well? It doesn’t say anything good to me. Though, the way the scene went, it could easily be interpreted that he was… checking in with her or something of that nature, making sure she knew she had a say. Now, I won’t find out until I read further, but I seem to remember that he doesn’t give her a choice later one. So… it gets very confusing that he’s all gentle and sweet this first time, but then it turns brutal and nasty later on. I’ll comment when and if that happens.

Chapter 12: Eddard II

Okay, am I the only one shocked that Robert wakes before noon? Okay, so Ned didn’t exile Jorah, Jorah fucking ran. Ned doesn’t like slavers, spies, and Lannisters. Though, given what we hear about Tywin presenting the bodies of Rhaegar’s wife and children to Robert, I think we can all understand.

Now that we’ve read Ned’s version of the aftermath of the sacking of King’s Landing, I’m ready to hear Jaime’s. I think that, of all the Lannisters, Jaime is the one he least has to worry about when it comes to wanting power.

Chapter 13: Tyrion II

I wonder if others find Ghost’s silence unsettling, or if it’s just Tyrion. I’m sure if they do, we’ll find out about it.

No doubt the boy had made the mistake of thinking that the Night’s Watch was made up of men like his uncle. If so, Yoren and his companions were a rude awakening. Tyrion felt sorry for the boy. He had chosen a hard life … or perhaps he should say that a hard life had been chosen for him.

You know, we hear a lot from certain fans how Sansa is so naive and doesn’t understand the world, but this right here shows that she’s not the only one. For all that Jon has been raised as a bastard, he’s had a privileged and sheltered life. All of the Stark children have, and that’s part of what leads to their early downfall, IMO. I lay the blame for this on Ned and Catelyn. They raised their children in a time of peace as if war and reality would never intrude. This whole series is about reality making itself painfully known to the Starks and not all of them survive it.

I know it’s Tyrion’s chapter, but I seem to be focusing a lot on the Starks. Though, honestly, does Tyrion not get why the Starks can’t stand his family? Does he not know what people think of them?

Reading the description of dragon bones and… I don’t remember the ones on the show being black. I know, I shouldn’t expect them to get every detail right, but still! I’m assuming that, since Dany’s dragons got so big, they were not from the lines that her family bred to minuscule size and then extinction.

It was the only time that Vhaghar, Meraxes, and Balerion were all unleashed at once. The singers called it the Field of Fire.

Near four thousand men had burned that day, among them King Mern of the Reach. King Loren had escaped, and lived long enough to surrender, pledge his fealty to the Targaryens, and beget a son, for which Tyrion was duly grateful.

I wonder how many Drogon killed on the show and if we’ll get a scene much like that in the book.

My sister married the new king and my repulsive nephew will be king after him.

Nobody likes Joffrey except his mother. And maybe Jaimie, though I don’t know if we really find out. We do find out that Tyrion really doesn’t like his sister or his father (for good reason). He assumes that Jon feels the same way. IIRC, Jon uses this kind of assumption about him to his advantage with Mance. We’ll see how good my memory is.

I like how they had Ghost come out of nowhere to attack Tyrion when Jon was feeling angry. And, let’s be honest, Tyrion was poking at Jon, trying to get a rise out of him, and Jon did react to it. I think that Jon making Tyrion ask politely for help was more of him poking back then straight up humiliating Tyrion. Of course, that could be wrong, but since we don’t have Jon’s POV in this, I can only assume.

I do like how we are shown that Jon is quick to adapt to changes in his reality.

[jodiwalker]

The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones Right Now

If the current season of Game of Thrones is fan service, then consider me — a fan — serviced, and sign me up, baby. We've been through the hard stuff, we deserve this. This series has finally broken through the stratosphere of TV criticism and into the land of pure joy where Arya can be both a raging lil' sociopath and a beloved protagonist.

So this is neither a review nor a recap, a critique nor a thoughtful analysis influenced by my superior status as a "book-reader." Instead, it is the most advanced of all literary art forms: a list of I've been tickled by in the first two episodes of season 7. The best things happening on Game of Thrones right now definitively are:

Very Silly Reveals That Are Supposed to Change the Game (of Thrones) But Are Kind of Just Really Obvious Solutions

1. There's a Shit Ton of Dragon Glass at…Dragonstone

Of all the things I expected out of this season—reunions, rifts, Cersei dramatically guzzling wine, Arya masked-murderin', Dany sittin' on thrones, hopefully the glorious return of Gendry's biceps—I never anticipated quite this much focus on igneous rocks. Jon Stark's laser focus on digging up dragon glass is starting to sound like a Goop newsletter, and it's not that I wouldn't subscribe (imagine: the fur recs! the tips for sultry lashes! the straightforward syntax without any annoying exclamation points!), it's just all a little more plainly sated than I expected. Jon calls, like, eight Big Chamber Meetings to tell all the Northern elders, plus Lil' Lyanna Mormont that their number one priority is to find dragon glass because it's the only thing they can create weapons out of in mass to kill white walkers. Those meetings go a little something like this:

Jon: How are we gonna kill white walkers?!

Northerners: DRAGONGLASS!

Jon: And where are we gonna find it?!

Sam, from Oldtown: AT—AND YOU'RE REALLY NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS—DRAGONSTONE!

[Ed. note: I've edited out the regular interruptions from Sansa that give me extreme conflicting emotional anxiety, but we'll get to those later in the "So You're Co-Ruling with Your Half-Sister Who's Actually Your Cousin and She's Recently Developed a Mind of Her Own After Surviving Extreme Trauma" section.]

Sending Sam to Oldtown to train as a maester is like the coconut oil/Franks RedHot of Westeros: that shit works on everything. At the Citadel, Sam begins scooping soup, souping poop (in a scene I would have exchanged for an hour-long loop of gruesome murders), and most importantly, sneaking into the restricted section of the library like some sort of chubby lovechild between Voldemort and Harry Potter. He even gets shut down by Jim Broadbent (aka Archmaester Marwyn, absolutely killing the wise, gives-no-shits maester game) and sneaks in anyway. And what did Samwell find in the restricted section?

Well, Sam steals maybe five books and finds the exact answer he needs, plus one he didn't even know he should be looking for—more on that in a minute.

And you know what? That's kind of dumb and unrealistic, but Sam deserves this. He's had a tough life and his dad is a jerk that wanted to kill him and his brother is (well, used to be) the hot guy from Unreal, and everyone shits on him all the time even though he is legitimately the nicest person alive in their godforsaken, feces infested world — dude has earned finding the solution to saving mankind after exactly 10 minutes of cozy reading with his cute wildling life partner and their ageless baby.

So, Sam finds out (via a super lame picture that Jaime could have drawn with his strong hand) that there's a big ol' dragon glass mine at—you're not going to believe this—Dragonstone. All they've gotta do is dig it up. Well, and, y'know, get past Daenerys Targaryen, heir of Dragonstone who recently arrived on its sandy, glass-filled shores. And that other thing that Sam found?

2. The Cure for Greyscale is Just…Peeling Off the Greyscale

Well, no fucking shit, Sam.  I mean, listen, I know I was just singing the kid's praises, but it's pretty crazy to act like you just found the magical cure for Greyscale in your magical secret books when that cure is…peeling off the Greyscaled skin and then putting a bunch of medieval Neosporin on it. But whatever, it's really sweet that Sam wants to help Jorah Mormont so badly because of his affection for Lord Commander Mormont and is willing to flay him to save his life (and definitely give himself Greyscale with the way he's using those gloves). So go ahead, Sam, peel off that Greyscale in your secret Dr. Pimple sessions—your solution might be obvious, but at least it's not dumb, dumb, dumb…

3. The Dragon Feller That's Just…a Crossbow

So, John is concerned with defeating the white walkers because, y'know, strong moral fiber and a her survivor's guilt complex and all that. But Cersei is mainly concerned with defeating anyone who would try to take the Iron Throne from her that she didn't already blow up with magic fire. And that means she's got to look alive about the tiny blonde Targaryen heading her way who's bringing, along with her legitimate claim to the throne, her three big ass dragons that were, coincidentally, born from a magic fire.

It's going to take something big to defeat those dragons. Something magical. Something much more powerful than even wildfire. Something like…

A BIG ASS CROSSBOW, BABY! Yeah, that will be great for killing dragons — if the dragons are sitting still, 1,000 years old, and already dying peacefully of natural causes. It's okay, Qyburn. They can't all be skull-crushing Frankenzombies held together by Husky R' Us armor level ideas, buddy.

Arya and Her Whole Thing

I remember when How to Get Away With Murder premiered there were a bunch of think pieces that were all, Finally! A Female Anti-Hero for Us to Love Just Like All Those Dude Anti-Heroes We Loved on A&E and HBO! Of course, no one loved Viola Davis' anti-hero like they loved Walter White because people don’t like to love flawed women like they like to love flawed men (and the show's not as good, but Viola is). And so, when Arya gave the best revenge performance of all time at the top of the season 7 premiere, there were a bunch of (to be fair, legitimate) articles that were all Should We Really Be Rooting for Arya? Is Arya a Sociopath Now? Arya Sure Looked like She Wanted to Kill Ed Sheeran, an Innocent Soldier, Who We Will Tell You Later How WE'D Like to Kill, But for Different Totally Valid Reasons.

So let me just say, yes! Arya is a probably a semi-psychopathic now, and yes! We should be rooting for her. She is but a simple mercenary setting out to avenge the death of her loved ones using humble blood magic. Yes, she killed Walder Frey, and yes, she fed him to his sons, and yes she then skinned him and wore his face in order to poison all those sons who she had just fed a pie made out of their dad, but you know what she also did…spared the women who hadn’t done anything wrong except be born into that nasty family. And yes she maybe only spared them to have this bad ass parting line, delivered with just perfect level-headed menace by Maisy Williams: "When people ask you what happened here — tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."

But she is Arya and I love her, and I support her in anything she does…unless she kills any of the characters I like, in which case I will have to write some think pieces.

Sibling Dramzzz: Stark Edition

And speaking of Starks you have to keep your eye on, Sansa and Jon are having kind of a hard time co-parenting the North, and that's probably because people just loooove putting Jon in charge, even though Sansa should kind of technically be in charge, the only problem is, that Sansa's so annoying. Now, Sansa has made large strides toward being less annoying. But for every two steps forward (occasionally telling Lord Baelish to go fuck himself, knowing about war, not being a moralizing idealist), she interrupts Jon six times in their council meetings and tells him how stupid he is.

And listen, I get it — I have siblings. No one knows you better, and no one knows they know you better. When someone acts like they understand you better than you understand yourself, and worse, they're probably right, it can be trying. When Sansa tells Jon that he's going to get his head chopped off like his virtuous father and brother before him, she's not necessarily, but she is annoying. In a made-up world with dragons and child-sacrifice and, like, constant incest that's often not very relatable, I find this Jon and Sansa stuff frustratingly relevant.

The complexity of familial bonds is a language that spans universes (I mean, I guess that's ignoring the thing I just said about near-constant incest), so when Sansa says just the right bratty thing — "Joffrey never let anyone question his decisions, do you think he was a good king?" — to set Jon off, or when Jon and Sansa get on the same page about something, then he immediately changes his mind and announces it at the dinner table, so she questions his decision in front of all their gossipy cousins…it's normal family stuff, just at much higher, head-chopping stakes.

My great fear is that the tentative but often sweet partnership these two eldest "children" of Ned Stark have formed will somehow be ruined by Littlefinger. So boyyyyyy was it gratifying when Jon choked his old ass out when he was all I wanted to fuck your step-mom and now I want to fuck your half-sister, just thought I'd tell you that right here in front of your dead dad's crypt. And mannnnn was it concerning when Sansa backed down from publicly challenging Jon about his decision to leave the North and sale to Dragonstone the moment she learned he was leaving her in charge of the North in his absence, then immediately looked to Littlefinger for…what? Approval? Guidance? Shared joy? None are great options.

Just get though this Jon and Sansa  — I promise you’ll be best friends when you’re adults!

Sibling Dramzzz: Greyjoy Edition

Yo, this family is Messed! Up! Theon jumped off a ship rather than risk saving his sister Yara from their super-pirate uncle who's now taking Yara, Ellaria, and the last remaining Sand Snake, Tyene as his gift to Cersei which will totally make her want to marry him so he can be king, I guess, and not just of his raggedy salt islands.

It will never not be distracting how much Euron looks like Pacey though. If Pacey had a run-in with an H&M clearance rack and the entire smoky eye section of Sephora.

Sibling Dramzzz: Lannister Edition

And speaking of Cersei's current romantic status: Jaime is giving her a looooot of side-eye because she's, y'know, terrible. But she is doing a really fun thing this season where she's constantly recapping how much she hates everyone while subconsciously remaining us how much everyone hates her in return. While roaming around her Etsy map of Westeros, Cersei tells Jaime: "Enemies to the east. Enemies to the south: Ellaria Sand and her brood of bitches. Enemies to the west: Olenna, the old cunt, another traitor. Enemies to the North: Ned Stark's bastard has been named King of the North, and that murdering whore Sansa stands beside him. Enemies everywhere, we're surrounded by traitors!"

Girl, anymore zingers and maybe a concluding paragraph, and they'll give you a byline at Vulture. It is my one true hope that Jaime will realize his sister is insane and kill her before she kills him or Tyrion.

Everything Lil' Lyanna Mormont Does

I don't care if it's Disney-Channel-level precocious, I don't care if they're just giving us more of what we want…actually, I do care. Give me more of what I want! And what I want is the Lil'est Lady of Bear Island repeatedly telling a bunch of giant grizzled dudes to STFU. "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me," she says when it's proposed that girls should be trained to fight in the war to come. "I might be small and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you. And I don't need your permission to defend the North." Yes, my tiny queen! I don't know if they heard you in the back, but at this point in time, just about every major house in the realm is run by a woman And speaking of…

Jon and Dany Said Each Other's Names and Hopefully That Will All Be Fine

That's it, that's all I needed. Now they can either become best friends or fall in incestuous Targaryen love, there is no other option.

Images: HBO; BlondieTVJunkie/tumblr

[susanhmcdade2]

5 content marketing tips from the kick-ass women on 'Game of Thrones'

Author's note: This post contains spoilers for Game of Thrones seventh season, including The Spoils of War.

Game of Thrones embraces powerful female characters.

From Little Bird to the Mother of Dragons, each week features stellar performances of complex characters by talented women. In a genre long dominated by male protagonists and villains, these ladies hold their own and can teach us valuable lessons.

The show's themes of power, revenge, moral ambiguity, politics and identity have intrigued us for hundreds of years-and will capture our hearts for centuries to come. However, its female characters can also give you guidance on everything from career moves to the creative spark you didn't know your marketing campaign was missing.

Below are five crucial content marketing pillars, told by the women of Game of Thrones:

1. Arya Stark: Define your goals.

Fiercely self-aware and independent, Arya Stark knows who she is and what she wants.

After establishing her infamous kill list, Stark's path to becoming an effective assassin was all but set in stone. Every decision she made was ultimately informed by this goal. Despite not being in an official leadership role, her work ethic, laser focus and aptitude for learning enable her to do anything she puts her mind to.

Stark exemplifies why it's important to outline your objectives before diving into creating or disseminating content. If you don't have an end game in mind, how will you determine what actions to take or know how to measure success?

Think about what your organization wants to achieve. For example, brand awareness might be a top priority for a startup, but a more established e-commerce company might want to grow sales. These two paths will look very different from a content strategy perspective, so identify the destination before starting the journey.

2. Cersei Lannister: Know your landscape.

In order to survive in King's Landing and deftly wield the amount of power that she has, Lannister must be acutely aware of her enemies, allies, resources and the hearts of the people she rules.

A complex character operating in a chaotic world, she understands the nuances of control. Lannister's keen ability to anticipate the moves of everyone in the game around her makes her a formidable opponent-and helps her more easily bounce back from missteps.

You probably don't want to emulate all of Lannister's qualities, but match her in the knowledge of your organization, industry and competitors.

To succeed in a particular space, whether it's crowded or a new category, you have to understand it. Listen to your customers, competitors and peers. What does your target audience look like? Who are the people that influence them?

When you know who your audience is and what kind of actions you want them to take, you'll know what kind of content will resonate with them. When something doesn't work, you'll have a backup plan.

3. Olenna Tyrell: Create memorable content.

The famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns is a fan favorite for good reason: Diana Rigg steals scenes with her engaging portrayal of the quick-witted, sarcastic and opinionated Tyrell matriarch.

Though several of her plots were foiled and her family was destroyed, she outlived many clever men and kept House Tyrell an influential power for years. Ultimately, Tyrell changes the course of history-and gets the last laugh-by poisoning Joffrey and using her dying breath to out herself as the culprit. It was the moment she dropped the mic.

Some say that Tyrell would be amazing on Twitter. Though most brand managers shy away from a sassy tone (unless it fits with the brand's voice), an organization's social media team can still show personality.

If you're going to invest time in generating quality content, it must be authentic, shareable and memorable. You don't have to create the next viral video, but you must make a genuine connection with your audience.

From succinct tweets to lengthy case studies, tell a story: Be surprising, strike an emotional chord and end with a punch.

[RELATED: Join us for the Brand Storytelling and Content Marketing Conference at The Coca-Cola Company.]

4. Daenerys Targaryen: Demonstrate leadership and expertise.

Despite as having as many titles as the Iron Throne has people vying for it, Targaryen is a queen of the people. She effortlessly commands a room with her vision for the world, but she's not above working with Tyrion Lannister, inviting Jon Snow to Dragonstone or listening to her subjects.

Her genuine desire to improve the lives of those she rules over is what truly makes her remarkable, not her dragons (though Drogon is spectacular).

Like Targaryen's ascent to Queen, becoming an industry expert takes time.

You can naturally rise in the ranks by authentically engaging with your community and consistently delivering value. Have a personable company blog, presence at trade shows and active social media properties to connect with your peers, competitors and target customers.

The best leaders understand that though they have expertise and influence, their vision and experience can only grow with help from those around them.

5. Sansa Stark: Tweak your strategy.

It's arguable that Sansa Stark has shown the most character growth on Game of Thrones.

When we were first introduced to Sansa, she was bratty and nave. Now she is curious, collected and cunning. She navigated her way through life by learning from those around her and changing her actions (and wardrobe) accordingly. Now that she's been entrusted with Winterfell, she'll have even more opportunities to test her limits.

When you have expectations of success but things don't turn out as you imagined, it's easy to feel defeated. Reset your course and chart a new path.

Part of crafting a successful content campaign is integrating experimentation. Rather than only A/B testing subject lines, test a new promotion strategy or forge a partnership. Taking risks can pay off. Either you'll see success, or you'll learn a valuable lesson.

You don't have to abandon what works well, but you must consistently grow to stay in the game.

Content is here. Whether you're a PR or marketing veteran or a new player on the scene, you must be prepared to adapt to the coming chapters for the industry-whatever they might be.

Erienne Muldoon is a senior customer content specialist for Virtual Press Office, PR Newswire's trade show marketing solutions division. A version of this article originally appeared on Cision's blog.

(Image via)