#but also DAMN Joel

[bonezone44]

Way to go, Joel Miller.

This fandom gives him a monster cock, magical sex skills, and also romance and love and tenderness.

And sometimes he gets to keep killing people while doing it, too!!

this dude is out there drowning in pussy and blood and sweat and tears.

Congratulations, Joel. You're living the American dream 🫡🫡🫡🫡

[candylovestheshield]

Listen, if I had to deal with underground tendrils waking up hoards of infected miles away in the game I would’ve shut that shit off without saving

[the-lesbian-orpheus]

“Etho…

I didn’t know he was into me”

Real quote from Grians latest episode

[phantompoguefangirl]

Elle chose the WRONG Flynn brother

Like COME ON

[imonaskypecallmom]

see i remember watching fwhip and joel tour fwhips old survival world a few years ago (i think it was in 2020) and joel being absolutely flabbergasted during the tour with an air of like this is fucking ridiculous this guy i need to do shit like this.. and thats why he builds the way he does

[written-mishaps]

omg “would you fall in love with me again” for iwoamot foxquin im sick to my stomach

You know I've never actually listened to Epic but listening to this song I prolly should. BUT YEAH ANON YOU ARE SO RIGHT ESP WITH THAT LINE "Would you fall in love with me again If you knew all I’ve done?" LIKE OUGHHHHHHHH DONT EVEN HIT ME UP

[tubbytarchia]

i would tell you theres smallidarity in jimmy's new impossible minecraft episode but thats kind of redundant seeing as theres smallidarity whenever they interact even remotely

SKSKSK YEAH don't you guys worry, these bitches aint slick, it's crazy that every WL ep and both Impossible SMP episodes have had notable smallidarity moments in them. I hope they keep getting worse

[twelfthellies]

you’re recruiting them kind of young, aren’t you?

[ashironie]

i was on youtube checking my notifications and i saw on my subscriptions feed that mumbo had the little red dot so i gasped very loudly and very excited, because that meant mumbo posted and i just hadn’t noticed, since i always find out mumbo posted by my subscriptions feed

last video i found out via notification.

the subscriptions feed only updates when you look at it, not when you have looked at the video in question.

the disappointment was immense.

[mariatesstruther]

Just seen someone call Maria selfish for leaving Tommy in TLOU2 when he needed her the most and I’m like???? Did you see him in the farmhouse, that’s a man who is obsessed with revenge and she’s probably given him ample chance to get over it but 18 months later he’s still obsessing over Abby. Maria (and Dina) were both more than justified in cutting ties with Tommy/Ellie for their own sakes. If Tommy and Ellie are too far gone and won’t allow themselves to be helped, their partners are more than justified in eventually making the decision to focus on their own mental health because I can guarantee the post-Seattle Tommy was not easy to live with.

Having said that, hope both couples make up so TLOU3 can just be the remaining members of the extended Miller family all living happily.

But seriously, why is it in any form of fiction or real-life, the woman is ‘selfish’ for actually putting her own well-being above someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

Sorry, little rant but jeez people don’t give the woman a break sometimes (also just a strange character to have beef with given she’s like the only ‘good’ character and she’s got such a minor role)

me just now realizing with this ask that show maria and dina are both gonna go through the same angsty bullshit (getting left with a child by their grief-consumed partners):

also dont EVER be sorry for ranting in defense of maria in my inbox. i love it. i need it. it feeds me. it also balances out all the weird ass bitter and shady messages about maria i get from people with nothing better to do. go off

(and also ALSO. tlou3??? is that officially a thing???)

[djappleblush]

I wanna start writing Joel Miller fics but I don't know where or how to start I hate this so much

[crime-scene-psychic]

Truly did not think I would be half drunk, explaining to my father how to work an Xbox 360 controller in the parking lot of a bar at midnight today but that is certainly how my life goes I suppose

[verdantglow]

As previously mentioned here, in my trafficstuck AU, the players are all adult trolls in the present day. Given how troll society functions, they can’t stay on Alternia & at various times, they all take off in various spaceships to wander the universe. I have spent way too much time thinking about how this would be arranged, so here’s the first two of six ships to leave Alternia. (Note: The crews have a tendency to shuffle around as time goes on; this is just how they are arranged after they take off but before Last Life.)

Ship 1

The first to take off, this ship carries Lizzie & Joel. Lizzie is a fuchsia blood & spent most of her life focused on the point when Her Imperious Condescension would decide Lizzie was old enough to be too much a threat to leave alive. Then, they would have their epic showdown that would, almost inevitably, end with Lizzie losing the fight & her life.

Joel was very much not down with this plan. Lizzie stubbornly insisted that she had to at least try to win, to take The Condesce down, but eventually Joel convinced her that, at very least, she deserved a more even playing field & to have the fight on her own terms. They decided the best way to do this was, well before their cohort was meant to take off, they would hack Lizzie’s battle ship & escape off planet, buying some time as they went into hiding.

Few of the players knew that Lizzie & Joel had this plan until a while after it went down. Joel first confided in Griann that they needed a grub that could get into the battleship’s systems. Griann suggested Joel reach out to Tangoh, who had grown the game grub for 3rd Life & who Grian insisted would be sympathetic to their cause & not rat them out. After a lot of dithering, Joel contacted Tangoh & Tangoh happily grew & coded a grub for them that could hack into a ship system & basically nuke any tracking that might be on it. In exchange, of course, Lizzie used her position to acquire some extremely rare & expensive tech bits for Tangoh. No questions were asked by either side.

Joel & Lizzie made a slightly rocky, but successful, escape on the hacked battleship, along with hefty amount of supplies. Big down side of their ship is that it can’t sustain FTL very long, as it’s so huge it’d really require psionics to maintain that kind of velocity. But really. They’re not in a rush to get anywhere, just wandering the more distant, empty parts of the universe for long stretches & making port extremely rarely at extremely secluded planets.

Ship 2

Troll life sucks. It sucks for kids, it sucks for adults, & it sucks more the lower on the hemospectrum you are. It especially sucks if you are a gold blood with psionics, given you can pretty much expect to get shoved in some high blood’s ship as an engine. It was that or get culled. So yeah, Impuls had a pretty grim fate to look forward to. Luckily, his moirail, Skizzl, would never let that happen.

With the help of their friend, Tangoh (& the parts Lizzie helped Tangoh acquire), they built a ship & the three of them took off together several perigees after Joel & Lizzie. Since then, they’ve been on the move for the most part, avoiding other Alternian ships as best they can. When they can’t avoid run ins with other trolls, Tangoh does all the talking, which makes sense because, as an indigo blood, he has the most social standing & unless they run into high bloods or royalty, he can generally talk &/or intimidate their way out of trouble. Impuls tries his best not to be around for such things, to minimize risk of being caught. If they’re taken off guard though, they will generally put up the pretense that he & Skizzl are in Tangoh’s “employ,” which usually works well as most troll’s don’t look too closely at a blue blood keeping a couple of low bloods around to take care of things for them. (The moment they’re alone again, though, Skizzl & Impuls gives Tangoh so much shit for using high blood vernacular & acting ‘all proper & shit.’ The poking of fun sometimes lasts days if Tangoh said something they deem particularly ridiculous.)

Fun fact: since they built their ship themselves, it is designed to have two operating modes: 1. It can self-propel & be steered using a navigation panel or 2. It can be controlled, entirely or partially, by Impuls. He & Tangoh teamed up to invent a, uh, less brutal method for hooking Impuls into the system, allowing him to use his psionics to take over various functions without literally being permanently melded with the ship. Given how most space travel is just ‘get a boost in a direction & coast,’ Impuls will often just jump in to set a course & let physics do the rest of the work. If they want to go really fast, like faster than light, he has to be fully controlling things as there really is no replacement for his batshit psionics in those cases. But really, his job as the ship’s helmsman is far more laid back than a psionic gold blood could hope for & he finds he quite likes it this way.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

shifted gears like alright after the [lucifer the mysteries please] centered approach that found mostly Other Stuff, centering [blade gunnblade please], and already have found something new but in the "possibly inaccurate & probably irrelevant even if otherwise" vein as a review read through the wayback machine says: "perhaps none moreso than the gun toting android Blade Gunblade, perfectly embodied by Asia Kate Dillon. They even get an awesome heart-wrenching backstory." which is so far the singular mention that blade gunnblade is an android, however, reviewers can Just Say Things, so. i believe the blade gunnblade full backstory clip that's available is from pre 2015's run at the pit, & rather a previous run as serials at the flea (and the prop & setpiece differences if it was simply an alex seife understudy performance from 2015 would be: inexplicable) but i have to imagine that blade's peak tragic backstory ft. murdered wife & child would be very similar, & i guess it would be funny if they were just out & about living their ordinary life with a family like that while also an android, but. however i'll also give them that: mentioned a bit more often is that at least at some point kapow-i Becomes part android / referred to as a cyborg, thanks to the same character as in 2015 & prior's tragic backstory. i don't think this fun fact is like super constantly relevant or obvious, so i Could imagine something along the lines of blade getting the same treatment & it also not being particularly more relevant. or else the proximity of such concepts like "kapow-i's a cyborg, the serials run clip seems to refer to like 'we need this specific rando who is now blade to be injected with Ultimate Fighter elixir (& have their family killed. because) & people's whose bodies couldn't handle it are now kind of like funny little robots (cybernetically automated but with some personality)" & like blade we need you to be a fighting machine was thus sort of conflated lol. but maybe they're a cyborg like i think it happens a lot anyways

[queernarcissus]

joel is so pretty he deserves to be kidnapped tbh. who can resist that pretty face? its like he's asking for it.

- 💤

fr!!!!! pspsps joel come live in my basement

[jewvian]

Wait. Hold on. So when Ellie said she had killed before, was she.... was she referring to Riley? Like fuck, she had that look on her face when Joel tried asking more about it, like she gave him the look/attitude he usually gives her whenever Tess is brought up, yknow?

Also we never really saw what went down at the mall after both Ellie and Riley decided to "lose their minds together", like we obviously know the outcome: Ellie survived because she's somehow immune and Riley... Riley most likely turned. But now, like after Ellie said the random dude wasn't her first kill, my mind goes straight to the mall and the aftermath of that one fateful night.

We know we're gonna get that flashback, it was briefly shown in the trailers. Maybe it'll even weave itself with the narrative of the game (Ellie taking care of injured Joel at the abandoned, snowy mall), but fuck me the fuck up, if we get the missing scene between what happened to Riley and how Ellie ended up being tied to a pipe at the fireflies place..... I'll lose my shit.

Because that was the catalyst for Ellie, like it's her own Tess moment. Joel went on that journey for Tess because she believed Ellie is the answer to how to stop the fungus, she's the cure they've been dreaming of in secret for 20 years. That's what Tess died for and she made sure Joel will take that responsibility for her sake.

And that's exactly what Riley is for Ellie, her death had a bigger meaning, a revelation of sorts. Every person that died around her became a part of that surviour's guilt, a reason why she needs to get to the fireflies' hospital and sacrifice herself for a cure. Riley was the first name on that list, arguably the most important name there, because it was her that made it possible. She took Ellie to the mall, she got the power on, she played around with her, put on the loud music that attracted the infected and... it was her that suggested they'll be poetic and wait it out. Her presence made it all possible! Like I'm not blaming Riley for what happened at the mall, but she was the one who initiated the plot in the game. But again, it's bigger than that. She could have killed Ellie, they both could have ended their lives right there and then. Maybe Riley dragged Ellie's ass to the mall and it's her fault they both got bitten, but y'all she also saved Ellie's life! She's the reason Ellie got to live and realize she's different, that she's immune.

Now imagine all of that guilt that was already presented to us in the game and add the possibility Ellie had to grab Riley's gun and shoot her herself after she turned.

"Back in Boston, back when I was bitten, I wasn't alone. My best friend was there and she got bit too. We didn't know what to do, so she says, 'let's just wait it out. Y'know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together.' I'm still waiting for my turn."

That is the catalyst that started the journey way before Joel even knew what was heading in his way, and if that's the direction the show is going, like letting us actually see Ellie's guilt is as big as Joel's... I'm already strapped in and waiting to launch myself to the sun.