#but all things considered he's very likeable in a 'he needs a hug and also a friend' kind of way

[quatregats]

Reading Hornblower in chronological order is such a wild experience because you read the first couple of books and you're like this is a fucked up little guy I hope he gets better and then you get to the original trilogy and discover that he can get much, much worse

[rengoku-loves-you]

Jealous! Kyojuro x reader!!

Had to ask this, I love your writing way too much and I'm looking to forward on how you write it!💘

(do I need to specify more?)

(hi hun! you don't need to specify more, don't worry! i only encourage being more specific so i can give you lovelies exactly what you want, and the more details, the better! but short and sweet is good also, as long as you don't mind me taking creative liberties, haha :D i hope this is alright! thank you so much for your request! ❤️)

jealous!kyojuro x reader

he doesn't realize he's jealous, not at first. he's never been a jealous person at all, and he was always happy when the people he cared about got along with each other. he does, however, consider himself protective, and that's what he thought he was when he first felt that pang in his chest after he saw you talking to uzui, smiling and laughing away.

of course, he was glad to see you laughing! he knows he’s not a funny person, he doesn’t understand jokes at all, nor does he make any himself. he was just... concerned about you. uzui was his friend, and so were you, and he knew how overwhelming uzui could be at times if you weren’t prepared for his flamboyance.

yeah, he was just concerned. he wasn’t wishing that he could make you laugh like that. and if he was, it was only because he wanted to make you happy!

nothing else.

so when he gets that same gross feeling when he sees you talking casually to sanemi after a pillar meeting - sanemi, of all pillars - he does his very best to ignore it because he’s not jealous and he’s truly glad for you two! he just maybe, sorta wishes he were a part of the conversation, too. you, him, and sanemi. 

without the sanemi part, preferably.

then sanemi wraps an arm around your neck and scrubs his knuckles against your head, making you squirm and sputter out protests through your giggles, and. okay.

maybe he’s a little jealous.

sanemi spots kyojuro over your head, and he must say something about it because when he lets you go you turn around and see him, too. you smile, raising a hand to wave, and he returns the gesture with more enthusiasm than necessary. then you wave for him to come closer, and, well, it’s not like he can not listen to you, so he hurries over and keeps the smile plastered on his face.

“fancy seeing you two here!” he says, staring directly at sanemi. “i wasn’t aware you talked!” 

“well, yeah, we do missions together,” you say. kyojuro raises his brows, still not looking at you. 

“really!” he exclaims. “i didn’t know this!” sanemi’s eyes narrow as he shifts into a slightly defensive stance, refusing to break the staring contest kyojuro seems to have drawn him into. normally, the flame pillar is much more adverse to eye contact, and the sudden intensity unnerves him. especially paired with that big, blank grin that feels like a threat.

“our regions are right next to each other,” he explains tersely, trying to figure out why kyojuro seems to be so off. “our missions overlap a lot, so we help each other out sometimes.”

“really!” kyojuro says again, louder than before. “how very interesting!” you can believe he sounds sincere, but sanemi has known him longer, knows better, and he scoffs as he folds his arms.

“what’s your damn problem?” he demands, stepping into kyojuro’s space. kyojuro blinks up at him, not moving away even when their noses nearly touch.

“problem? what problem? i don’t have one!” and it would be convincing, too, if he hadn’t glanced over at you, only to realize you were staring at him with open concern. his attention snapped back quick, his cheeks turning pink.

say what you’d like about his temper, but sanemi shinazugawa is not stupid.

“yeah, sure you don’t,” he growls, but he can hardly bring himself to really be annoyed. 

“i don’t!” rengoku insists with a wide, bright smile. sanemi gives kyojuro’s shoulder a punch that’s a touch too aggressive to be friendly, then gives you a much more civil nod as kyojuro rubs his arm. 

“i’ve got things to do, anyway, so i’ll see you bastards later.”

“aw,” you say with a pout. “see you later, sanemi! stay safe!” he pats you on the head as you walk past, making you smile and playfully shove his hand away. you don’t notice how kyojuro watches your interaction with sharp eyes, pressing his lips into a thin line. he’s jealous, alright.

and you’re not stupid, either.

“alright,” you say once sanemi is out of sight, “what was that about?”

“what was what about?” kyojuro looks in your general direction, eyes big and innocent. you sigh, propping a hand on your hip and frowning at him. 

“that. between you and sanemi. i thought you were actually gonna throw down for a second there. so, what happened? did you two have a fight?” he’s nervous, now, gaze skittering all around your face but never settling.

“of course we didn’t,” he says. “if he’s upset with me, he attacks me until he gets bored and goes home!” which is true. you know it’s true because you’ve seen it happen. you’ve even stepped between them on occasion when you think it might be going too far.

“okay,” you say slowly. “so if you didn’t fight, what was it? i was sensing a lot of tension there.”

“i couldn’t tell you!” kyojuro crosses his arms. you continue to stare at him without a word, replaying the situation over in your head while he sweats. and before long, it hits you.

“you were jealous.” the way his eyes snap to yours far too quickly tells you everything you need to know. his mouth opens. then it closes again, and you raise an eyebrow, more amused than anything else. kyojuro never struck you as a jealous friend, but after practically chasing sanemi away from you, he proved that assumption wrong. honestly? it’s cute, if a little inconvenient to your social life.

“i... may have thought that i wanted to be talking to you instead,” kyojuro admits, very slowly, like the words cause him physical pain. “and maybe i was thinking that i want to make you laugh the way uzui can, or the way sanemi does. maybe i just want your attention sometimes, but you’re talking to someone else and i don’t want to interrupt. maybe i...” he looks down, his face flushing, and his voice gets so soft you have to lean closer. “...maybe i like you very, very much, and i want you to like me, too.”

your heart leaps.

“of course, i understand if you don’t feel the same!” he says loudly as he lifts his head again, throwing on false confidence the same way he throws on his haori every day. “the other pillars are all very amazing and likeable in their own ways, and i wouldn’t blame you if you happened to be interested in any of them instead! i only hope we can still be friends, and that you-!”

“you’re so stupid,” you interrupt, and he doesn’t have time to be offended before you move in and press your lips against his. 

it visibly takes him a moment to process, standing stiff and unresponsive, before he’s forcefully kissing you back, his hands rising to grip your forearms. you only pull back once your breath starts to run out, but he chases you, making you laugh as you turn your face away.

“kyo, come on, i need to breathe,” you say, and he retreats enough to give you the biggest, warmest grin in his arsenal, outshining even the sun. you breathlessly smile back, more than relieved that your feelings are mutual. you’re not sure how he didn’t notice you crushing on him pretty much since day one, but you’re here now, so you don’t particularly care anymore.

“you don’t need to make me laugh,” you tell him once you catch your breath, and his grin falters. “you don’t need to be like uzui or sanemi or shinobu or giyuu or anyone else. you don’t need to tell me weird stories or help me out on missions or hug me all the time to make me like you.”

“who hugs you all the time?”

“the point,” you emphasize, putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling him closer until your foreheads touch, “is that i like you the way you are. you’re sweet, you’re passionate, and you’re always so happy to see me that it makes my day. you’re likeable in your own way, kyojuro. and i just happen to like you more than everyone else.” his golden-red eyes are wide, so wide and shiny that you’re afraid he might cry. his hands come up to cover yours, gently holding them against his face. he whispers your name, and you kiss him one more time.

“so no more of this jealous stuff, okay?” you say, and he laughs, hiccuping and wet.

“i can’t make any promises!”

[thepurplellamalikesrashtatoomuch]

I'd love to see your opinion on Who Made me a Princess

As a whole?

Hm. Okay.

Before I get into the actual plot and characters I just want to say: I love that art. It's so gorgeous that even if the series was absolute garbage (which it isn't, just flawed) I'd still keep reading just for the eye candy.

I think I'm going to try a character by character format. So let's start with Athy.

Athy! Honestly, I love her. There's a trend among FLs to just be perfect and haven't flaws and never make mistakes in any scenario. Athy defies this head on. She does the wrong thing sometimes. She slips up, she gets anxious, she loses things but she's still clearly a strong main character. Spoon did a great job with that.

My main complaint though, is why the second life? All her Korean life does is make her weirdly older than her love intrests. She could have reincarnated straight from old Athy and the story would've been exactly the same. If the survival instincts from the begining were important to you than have her live that life but die as a child. Then she's not an adult in a child's body who's attracted to children. Much less uncomfortable. She can still be mature but she doesn't have to be a full grown adult.

I don't have a fully formed opinion on Claude. I'm far from being a Claude simp but I don't hate him either. It's hard to actually sympathize with him. Especially because of the amnesia arc. Watching him immediately go back to killing Athy mode was just depressing. Even with everyone around him telling him not to, his first instinct was to kill the child. Also, tbh he's not nearly as hot as fans make him out to be. I don't feel like I've seen anything as of yet to make me think "wow I was wrong about Claude! He was a good person this whole time!". Just "I guess he won't kill his daughter now".

I really don't get where all the Jennette hard comes from. It's not as if there's a rule somewhere that only one of them can be happy. She just wants to feel loved and hasn't actually done a single harmful thing to get it. When she was first introduced I thought she'd just be a stock saintess character but Jennette proved me wrong. She has flaws and wants that are prevalent in who she is as a character and what she does in the story. Also, I love her design. She's just so pretty!

I'm going to be frank with this one. I don't like Lucas. He barely does anything in the plot, he's another jerk of a male lead, and he doesn't really have any reedeming qualities. Liking Athy doesn't make him likeable. It feels like he's just there to be the angsty wizard ML and nothing more.

Ijekial's great but I wish he was more relevant to the plot. All he does is sit there so Jennette can be sad about him and there can some sort of love triangle. I'd love for him to be more proactive. He doesn't really participate in or appear in the story very much.

With that said about all the characters I'm just going to throw some last thoughts into the wind.

Jennette was the only good part of the amnesia arc besides that one Athy meeting with the nobles scene.

I hope Athy just stays single. I don't see her with either ML but I know it'll be Lucas.

Lily and Felix are the best couple in the Manwha.

I don't like that Athy comepleltly switched out the personality she had in the first few chapters.

Someone really needs to give Jennette a hug and it's going to have to be Athy.

The pacing feels really slow. Not a lot actually happens considering the length.

I want a spin-off about Diana.

Claude never actually stopped being a terrible father, he just started giving Athy presents. Felix and Lily are pretty obviously the people who raised her and Felix should've gotten that first dance.

Also, I'm reading on Bato which I think is bit behind so no spoilers please!

[sekceesimps]

Hu Tao Fluff Alphabet (A, C, K, W)

a/n This feels appropriate considering it’s her birthday today. Thanks for the request anon, feel free to leave a request and a like! 

Sincerely Coffee  

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Hu Tao is quite the prankster and eccentric person. She will try to get you two to do the  activities that she picks. She particularly likes to go to various new places to meet new people. She’s not the most social and likeable person, she doesn’t really understand why some people are scared of her, but meeting new people is super exciting for her. Date wise, I think she’d prefer to be somewhere quiet, and quite frankly, a little dark and creepy as well. If you spot any ghosts or spirits, don’t fear, she gets super excited and wants to show off. However, if the two of you don’t really feel like traveling all the way out of the city, she’s content taking you to a nice restaurant and just having fun with you.  

She has a pretty hefty and important job at the funeral parlor, so you won’t be able to spend every single moment with her, but if you do happen to take a job there then she does her best to be involved with you as much as possible. She finds the people at her job so boring and spending time with you always brings a smile to her face. To make up for the times she’s busy, she loves to just whisk you away on a date somewhere in the harbor or Wuwang Hill. 

Please plan pranks with her. She's a little scared of asking you, but it would mean the world to her if you two planned on pretending there’s a ghost in Xiangling’s kitchen. Y’all would be the perfect prankster duo that everyone in Liyue fears. 

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

She’s not the most experienced in being very serious, but for you she absolutely is trying her hardest. It hurts her so much to see you upset and she wants nothing more than to make you feel better. I feel like she’d try to make some stupid jokes making fun of Baizhu, which never fails to make the two of you smile. She will hug you and let you vent if you need to do that as well. She’s the type to try to make you laugh so hard that you forget what you were even crying over in the first place. However, sometimes she’ll serenade you with a gruesome poem that she wrote, which is surprisingly helpful in making you feel better. 

 Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

She’d be a little awkward in initiating affection during the beginning of your relationship, but later on she simply becomes the best. She likes to hold you close to her when you two are kissing, and, if you’re okay with it, she likes to wrap her arms around your waist and lock you into place by her side. Also loves to bombard you with kisses across your face. It’s pretty random, but you would never complain. 

I imagine that your first kiss with Hu Tao will be on a whim whilst doing something fun or going exploring. I actually don’t see her as the type to initiate the first kiss, because she’ll just be so excited to be hanging out with you that she’s too busy admiring you to go in for the kiss. As far as first kisses go, it would be a pretty good and passionate one where the two of you just enjoy each other's presence. She loves you so much. 

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon

Hu Tao is a chaotic human being and sometimes needs to be grounded by none other than Big Dong Zhong himself. One such instance was when she was doing her own thing and scaring Qiqi which ended up with Zhongli coming and speaking with her. Granted it went through one ear and out the other, but it definitely solidified their father-daughter like relationship. He was never REALLY able to control her, but he was getting really good at giving her advice and she started talking to him a little more about decisions to make. Your relationship was certainly no exception to this! 

Zhongli was the first person that Hu Tao spoke to when she thought of proposing to you. She recognizes the shortness of life and wants to spend every moment of hers with you. Zhongli was very helpful in picking out a moment for her to pop the question and helped set up the surprise. He will definitely be officiating that wedding and crying the whole time. 

a/n  Hu Tao rerun when… Anyways, I’m sorry again that I’ve been away for so long, but I’m glad to be back. Send requests my way, loves

If anyone wants to play!  UID: 618657648  

[haledamage]

Coming Home

I'm a day late because this thing got much bigger than I expected, but better late than never! This is for @shepherds-of-haven Shepherds Summer 2021! The prompt was Pacific Rim AU!

Some of the backstory stuff is from this post here. Some is just pushing ShoH canon slightly to the left so it fits better in a Pacific Rim setting. Some is the result of reading ShoH and watching PacRim at the same time and then taking a nap to see what seeds got planted. There will be a part 2 to this because I had to split it up in order to finish it on time and then I was late anyway.

Shepherds of Haven/Pacific Rim AU. Iorwen Emroth/Blade Bronwyn (well, hints of it. more in part 2)

---

The Haven Shatterdome looked very small from overhead. Iorwen watched it loom closer with a trepidation somewhere between “being late for an important exam” and “being read her last rites.”

It had been just over two years since she’d last been this close to a Jaeger, half a world away and in a different life, but all the Shatterdomes looked the same after a while. Steel and glass and everything painted in olive drab, black, and safety yellow. 

Part of her felt like it was too soon to walk into those hangar doors again, the empty space at her side where her partner used to be still a raw, open wound. She couldn’t even think xer name yet without feeling like she couldn’t breathe. Returning to work felt like a betrayal of xer memory.

Another part of her, louder with every passing minute, was just so happy to be home again.

"Wen!"

Iorwen had barely stepped out of the helicopter when she heard her name called and turned to see Red jogging toward her. He looked more tired than she remembered him, but his smile was as bright as ever, his hair vivid against their otherwise drab surroundings. She’d known he was here - he’d transferred to Haven shortly after she left Capra - but hearing it and actually seeing him were two very different things.

She dropped her bag carelessly to the tarmac and ran to meet him halfway, throwing herself at him as soon as he was close enough to wrap her arms around his neck. He hugged her back without hesitation. They were making a Hel of a scene in the middle of the landing pad, but neither of them really cared.

"I knew you'd come back," he mumbled into her hair.

"Had to." She finally pulled away, stepping back just enough that she could see him. "You can barely tie your shoes without me, Liefred."

He only laughed before leaving her side just long enough to grab her bag. He slung an arm around her shoulders as he rejoined her, dragging her towards the hangar. "Welcome home."

She stared up at the Shatterdome, hangar doors towering over them. It didn't look nearly as welcoming as Red seemed to think it should, and was much more intimidating than it had been from the air. It still smelled like blood and motor oil - or maybe it was her memory that did.

She tried to put on her best smile anyway, for his sake if not her own, and let him drag her inside.

They stepped into a hive of activity, the sounds of machinery and voices echoing off the walls, laughter and shouting and clanging metal rising up to greet them. She tried to stop and take it in, but Red was still dragging her along with him out of the main hangar and into a labyrinth of hallways; she probably could have escaped him if she tried, but she didn’t really want to.

“Have you met the Marshal yet?” he asked, once they were in a quiet enough place that he didn’t have to yell to be heard.

“Not yet. Mostly talked to his second so far.” Trouble Alder had, in fact, shown up out of the blue one day three months ago, sitting on her front porch with a stick of charch between his lips and looking completely at home. He’d revisited her every day for a month until he’d finally worn her down enough to convince her to come home. Stubborn bastard. “What's he like?”

“Intense,” Red answered almost immediately. “Most of the younger crew are terrified of him. He doesn't like me.”

Iorwen scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re the most exceptionally likeable person I’ve ever met. Everyone likes you.”

“He doesn't.” 

They stopped in front of a door in what was probably the barracks, the walls lined with identical doors on either side. Sure enough, there was a simple bed, a dresser, and not much else inside. Iorwen didn’t mind; she didn’t need much else.

Once she’d dropped off her bag and they started down the next hallway, Red continued, “I don't know if he likes anyone. He barely says two words to anyone but Trouble.”

She was still skeptical, but didn’t push. “Well, he must be doing something right. Look at this place. Capra barely had a skeleton crew compared to this.”

“It’s amazing!” Just like that, Red lit up again. “Some of Blest’s best and brightest are here. Pilots, mechanics, scientists, strategists, you name it.”

“And which of those are you? All of the above?”

“Mostly scientist, I think,” Red rubbed a sheepish hand over his hair. “There’s better pilots. Pan, Neon, and I serve better in the lab than on the field most of the time.” He paused, watching her cautiously, before adding carefully, “And… which will you be?”

“I’ll be working in the clinic,” she said quickly. “As a Healer. I’m not… ready to be around Jaegers again. I might never be.”

“I understand,” he assured her, reaching out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We all do.”

They fell silent after that, and stayed that way until they stopped in front of a door labelled Administration. “This is Shery’s office. She’ll get you all set up.”

“Thanks, Red.”

“Anytime.” With one final quick hug, he turned to leave, only to stop halfway down the hall. “Oh, and Wen?”

“Hmm?”

“Welcome to the Shepherds.”

---

It was two weeks before Iorwen finally met the Marshal, and it happened entirely by accident.

She had just finished a shift in the clinic, patching up minor burns and bruises on unlucky mechanics and restless pilots. The silence between Kaiju attacks left everyone on edge, and that led to carelessness, which inevitably meant stupid injuries. She didn’t mind. All things considered, she’d rather have the silence.

As she turned a corner, she noticed a light was on in the training room, and curiosity led her there without much input on her part.

She recognized the man in the room easily enough. Even if they’d never spoken directly, she’d seen him around enough to know who he was. He commanded the attention of a room like no one she’d ever met before. He was hard to look away from, even here, out of uniform and either unaware or uncaring of her presence.

Magnetic. That’s what he was.

He was also much younger than she expected for a Marshal. He was close to her own age, or at least she assumed he was. She wondered about the story there - obviously there must be one - but knew better than to ask the rumor mill. Gossip was like dust: inevitable, everywhere, and harder to see through the more you stirred it up.

The Marshal’s back stiffened, and Iorwen knew she’d been caught staring even before he glanced over his shoulder in her direction. She stepped into the room as casually as possible. “Hello, Marshal.”

He simply nodded, dark eyes unreadable. “Ranger.” She bit her lip to stop herself from correcting him. “Emroth, right?”

“Yes, sir.” She approached until she could finally see his face. “Iorwen.”

Another nod. “Blade.” She thought he would leave it there, but after a moment, he spoke again. “Antiqua speaks highly of you.”

“Of course he does. He's biased.” She laughed, rolling her eyes at the idea that Red was going around extolling her virtues to anyone who would listen. When the Marshal - Blade, she mentally corrected herself - gave her a look that she interpreted as curiosity, she elaborated. “We trained together as cadets. He was my first Drift partner actually.”

“But you never piloted together?”

“No. It…” Iorwen broke eye contact, the floor suddenly fascinating. “It didn't work out that way.”

“It's not too late,” he said, almost softly.

“Yes it is. I'm not a Ranger anymore. Not after…” Xer name got stuck in her throat, like it always did. She took a couple of deep breaths until she could comfortably breathe around it again, but her smile was still sad. “I'm happier on the ground. I'm a good Healer. It's where I should be.”

She could feel Blade’s eyes on her, but she didn’t look back up to meet them. Eventually, all he said was, “I see.”

He turned his back on her again and it didn’t take long before her gaze was drawn to him again. He was wearing a tank top, like most people did when they came here to train or spar, and standing this close she could clearly see the web of electrical scarring trailing over his arm and shoulder.

She knew those scars well. The scars of someone forced to solo pilot a Jaeger. She should know, she had a matching set.

Blade did an admirable job of pretending he didn’t know he was being observed, but he moved too carefully for it to look entirely casual. Or maybe he just always moved like that. He picked up a bo staff and tested the weight of it.

Iorwen took the opportunity that presented without thought or hesitation. “Looking for a dance partner?”

The briefest flash of surprise crossed his face before his expression smoothed back out. “Are you… sure?” he asked carefully. If she didn’t know better, she might say he almost sounded nervous.

She found it charming. She found him charming, with his not-quite-smile and his cool confidence, this magnetic man who could simultaneously terrify the cadets while inspiring absolute loyalty in them.

But she didn’t tell him that, of course. She just grabbed a staff of her own and grinned as she lifted it in a fencing salute. “On your guard, Marshal.”

---

After that first night, it became a regular thing. Not every day, not even on a set schedule. But sometimes after she was done in the clinic or in the garage, Iorwen would stop by the training room, and sometimes when she did, Blade would already be there. Not waiting for her, not exactly, but never surprised when she arrived.

He never really said much, but she didn't mind talking for the both of them. She could tell he was warming up to her, as the weeks passed; his silence felt much less formal and stiff and more cordial. Eventually, even friendly.

Two things were apparent from the very beginning, though. Well, three things. The first was that Blade, as a fighter, was completely out of her league. She never stopped by with any expectation of beating him; she was content to follow his lead. It was nice to be active again, to feel the familiar burn in muscles left dormant in her self-imposed retirement.

The second was that they were extremely drift compatible. While Iorwen could never beat him, she could consistently predict him. They could both be blindfolded and still know what move the other would make. There was an effortlessness to the way they understood each other that bordered on the supernatural. It was a kind of connection that she hadn’t felt since Zori had been killed.

The third thing was that neither of them were willing, in any way, shape, or form, to admit the second thing.

It was barely a week before Red found out.

He flopped down on the bench next to her in the cafeteria. “I brought those papers you were looking for to your room last night, but you weren’t there.” He didn’t say it as an accusation, but it still managed to feel like one.

“I spent a couple hours in the training room,” she said as casually as possible. “Trying to get back in shape.”

Red blinked a few times, letting that sink in, before smiling wide. “That’s really good. Let me know if you ever need a sparring partner.”

“I kind of… have one?”

“You do?” His smile went from friendly to devious, the look of a man who had four sisters and was willing to tease her as if she was a fifth. “Who?”

Before she could stop herself, she looked across the room at Blade. He sat at a table with Trouble, whose laughter was loud enough to reach them even from the other side of the busy cafeteria. The Marshal’s face remained impassive, looking like he wasn’t even listening, but Iorwen knew him well enough to tell he was amused.

As if he could feel her watching him, his eyes snapped up and locked on hers. She smiled at him; he nodded almost imperceptibly.

Red cleared his throat, and she looked away quickly, turning her attention back to the smugly amused grin of her best friend. “Well, I guess maybe it’s not everyone he doesn’t like.”

“Guess it’s just you.” She nudged his shoulder and he rubbed at it as if she’d hurt him. “He’s not as bad as you made him out to be.” She couldn’t stand his knowing look anymore and turned away, but doing so led her eyes right back to Blade. “He's nicer than he looks. And surprisingly funny. He doesn't treat me like I'm fragile. Like I'll break if someone talks about… Zori.” 

Mentioning her former Drift partner and copilot didn’t hurt as much as she expected it to this time. Less like twisting a knife in her heart and more like being poked in a fresh bruise.

Mentioning xer also stopped whatever comment Red had been about to make right in its tracks. He studied her with obvious curiosity, mouth still half-open in surprise. Whatever he saw on her face had him leaning forward and tapping his forehead against hers, a quick gesture of affection and understanding. She leaned into it until he pulled away.

And then his teasing smile was back as if it had never left. “Plus, he's handsome.”

She eyed him warily, but let him have the subject change. “That too.” She picked up a piece of fruit from her plate and popped it into her mouth. “Please don’t say anything about this to Pan or Neon.”

“Scout’s honor.”

“I mean it, Red. Not a word.”

---

“So I hear you and the Marshal have a thing.”

Iorwen sighed from the very depths of her soul. “I hope Red knows how very dead he’s about to be.”

Panrachus looked legitimately confused at her response. “What? I didn’t hear that from Red, I heard it from Caine.” Then he gasped, eyes widening with sudden, delighted recognition. “What does Red know?”

She only barely bit back a groan. “Why are you even here?”

“Right! We’ve got something you oughta come see.”

She followed him, with more than a little trepidation, out of the clinic, through the office labyrinth, and out into the hangar. It took her a few minutes to get her bearings and realize where exactly they were going. “Why are we going to the Jaeger bays?” He didn’t answer. “Pan?”

Then they turned the corner, and she had her answer.

Looming over her was a Jaeger unlike any she’d seen before. It looked almost lanky, the proportions lean and sleek instead of the more familiar bulky designs. It would be unbelievably fast with the right pilots; she could tell that just from looking at it. From the top of each wrist, a wicked-looking blade extended over the hand, almost long enough to drag the ground. It was painted black, navy, and silver, but its eyes glowed bright blue.

From the ground, it almost looked like iladrin. Like the same blue light that lit Iorwen’s own eyes.

“What’s her name?” she whispered, unable to tear her eyes away from the Jaeger.

“Stellar Enigma.”

“Who’s piloting her?”

“You are.”

She jumped at the unexpected voice behind her and turned to see Blade, Red, and Trouble approaching, along with an entourage of what looked to be equal parts Shatterdome leadership, actual engineers, and nosy onlookers.

“You are,” Blade said again, quieter, softer, “Ranger.”

“Blade, I--” Iorwen started, but she wasn’t sure what she actually intended to say.

He reached up and lightly pinched her cheek, a faint smile on his lips. “You’ll be alright.”

Before she could reply, Trouble gently but pointedly cleared his throat, reminding her of their audience. She glared his way, just for a second; he grinned back, unabashed and unrepentant.

“Who’s my copilot? Sir.” She added the last as an afterthought, trying to act some semblance of professional.

“I get the feeling you already have someone in mind.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Bit early to be reading my thoughts, isn’t it, Marshal?”

---

Iorwen’s suit didn’t fit as well as she remembered. Tight around the shoulders, too loose at the waist. Like it was meant for someone else, no matter how many things tried to tell her otherwise.

Blade’s fit him like a second skin. He looked like a Jaeger cockpit was where he was always meant to be. Like it was the rest of the world that didn’t fit him right instead.

She met his inscrutable gaze before ‘admiring’ could cross the line to ‘ogling’. “You look good.”

He paused for a long time, staring back at her in silence, before finally clearing his throat. “You too.”

She grinned, both at the compliment and at the sight of the Marshal so off-balance, but she took pity on him and changed the subject. “Do you want the left or right?”

“Right.”

“Good. I prefer left.”

They didn’t speak anymore as they connected to their harnesses and their suits started interfacing with the Jaeger, the computerized voice talking them through system checks. It took longer than Iorwen remembered, but it had been a long time since she last Drifted with anyone, let alone with someone new.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked, once their helmets were in place and they’d run out of checks to do. “I’m not--”

“Yes,” he interrupted sharply. “You’re ready. We both are.”

There were a lot of things she wanted to say. To thank him, mostly, for a list of things that seemed to be growing bigger by the hour. She kept quiet; he’d hear it in her thoughts soon enough.

“Initiating neural handshake in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… neural interface drift initiated.”

Between one breath and the next, she was somewhere else. Images flowed over her, some familiar, some new. She did her best to let them pass, to not cling too hard to any of them.

The destruction of Drummond's Point, the first attack the day the Kaiju came. Iorwen, dragging Zori's unconscious body out of town as fast as thirteen-year-old legs could carry her. Blade, stern and silent even as a child, a soldier from the day he was born. Zori, tears at the corners of xer eyes as xe laughs at a joke Pan told, Red and Neon joining in, the three of them always together even then. Blade's older brother, startlingly similar to him in appearance and demeanor, the two of them either sparring or fighting; for them, there had never been much difference.

Zori's scream as xe's ripped out of the cockpit. Gladius didn't make a sound as he met the same fate.

Iorwen's grief washed up against Blade's, soothing in it's familiarity. A gentle reminder that they weren't alone anymore, that thanks to the Drift they'd never be entirely alone again.

She saw him in her memory of their first meeting. Stern, aloof, but warm underneath, like a fire behind frosted glass. Captivating her before he even so much as looked at her. 

And then herself through his eyes at that same introduction. Sad, withdrawn, but still burning bright. The embodiment of stubborn hope, like a flower blooming in a snowy field.

And then they broke through the surface, both gasping as they came up for air. Below them, Stellar Enigma came to life. The rush of memories and emotions settled into the background, present but no longer demanding attention.

“Pilot connection stabilized.” It wasn’t the computer’s voice this time, but Shery over the intercom. “How do you feel?”

Moving as one, Blade and Iorwen lifted their hands, right fist resting on left palm, and bowed. Stellar Enigma did the same, moving as smoothly as her pilots did. Iorwen couldn’t tell which of them the wave of elation came from, but it burst out of her in a laugh.

“It feels like coming home.”

[bjornthorsson20]

Chapter 2

Hermione Granger was many things, but patient was not one of them. Today, she had arrived at the library early to study (though most people would say she didn't need to, which was simply preposterous), and to help Ginny with homework, which apparently seemed to run in the Weasley family.

She was currently seated at her favorite spot in the library, the one furthest from the entrance where no one would bother her, and the library itself was thankfully empty at the moment. Ginny was late for their study session, and Hermione was beginning to think she had forgotten about it, but went back to studying in the hopes her red-haired friend would arrive soon.

No matter how much she tried concentrating though, her mind kept wandering back to a certain infuriating ginger boy that insisted on plaguing her thoughts as of late.

For a while now, Hermione was aware that she was infatuated with her best friend, Ron Weasley.

The first signs were during her second year when Malfoy called her a mudblood and Ron jumped in to hex him, which he would've done had his wand not backfired on him. Despite that, Hermione felt touched by Ron wanting to protect her, and that idea made her feel things she didn't entirely comprehend at the time. She knew even then that had it been Harry, those feelings would not have been the same.

From then on, Ron would continue to prove to her that what she felt towards him was different. Everytime Ron did something for her, like when he stood up for her in third year after Snape called her a know-it-all, Hermione imagined the same scenario playing out with Harry instead, and everytime that euphoria just wasn't there. She even remembered feeling excited at the prospect of spending an entire Hogsmeade trip with just Ron, then immediately feeling guilty for being happy that Harry had been left out. It wasn't that Hermione didn't care for Harry just as much as she did for Ron, but Harry was simply like a brother to her and, likewise, she was sure Harry viewed her as a sister, regardless of whatever mindless drivel that wretched, repugnant, heinous excuse for a reporter spewed into her disgusting, detestable articles. Merlin, she hated that woman!.

Hermione still remembered the moment she was hit with the realization of her attraction towards Ron in full. It was sometime after the trip to Hogsmeade, when the three of them were in the common room doing homework. Hermione was sitting between both boys, and she noticed Ron had sat closer to her than usual, though she decided not to point out that fact in fear he would get self-conscious about it and move away (she didn't mind the proximity, after all). She was in the middle of her "insert-Harry-here" scenario, when Ron's elbow bumped into hers, sending her back to reality. She immediately blushed and attempted to go back to her essay, though she only managed to stare at it as if she were interrogating her paper. She couldn't help glancing at Ron to check his reaction.

That was when she looked at him, as in, really looked at him.

She noticed the way his hair stuck out at odd angles, creating a messy arrangement of flaming red that she wanted to run her hands through and feel it slide perfectly between her fingers; the pattern of freckles spattered across his face creating a constellation-like mosaic on his complexion that she wanted to take a closer look at and count one by one for hours on end. His blue eyes (Hermione couldn't tell the exact shade) resembled two small bluebell flames which seemed to be brimming with magic the longer she stared at them mesmerized; the subtle movement of his facial muscles as he concentrated on his essay, the furrow of his brow, the narrowing of his eyes which accentuated his beautiful golden lashes, and the pursing of his lips, lips she found herself wanting to know how they would feel against her own.

And that was the moment it hit her like a ton of bricks. Hermione Granger fancied Ron Weasley!

The suddenness of that conclusion was so overwhelming that she couldn't pretend to concentrate any longer, so she quickly gathered her things, muttered a goodnight to Ron and went up to her dorm room, wanting to put as much distance between them as possible.

From that day on, Hermione would continue noticing things about him, like how big yet gentle his hands were, how his freckles seemed to cover his arms just as beautifully as his face, leaving some parts of his skin looking almost tanned, or how he now stood a full head above her (and he showed no signs of his growth stopping anytime soon, a fact that left her with a weird fluttering sensation on the inside). Now, Hermione had a hard time keeping herself from staring at him so much, and she had caught herself a couple of times on the verge of straight up confessing to him.

That was when the logical part of her brain would come in and try to reason with her why she shouldn't be so impulsive with her emotions. For one thing, she still had no indication that Ron returned her feelings, and it wasn't worth taking a risk like that, potentially ruining their friendship or making things awkward between them, just so she could find out what Ron’s lips tasted like. Oh, but the sweet temptation. For another, and this was the hard pill to swallow, Hermione had to concede the possibility that a guy like Ron would perhaps not be interested in a girl like her.

Hermione knew herself — she wasn't model material; she was plain, unremarkable, simple. Her hair was too bushy to be tamed in any way that could be considered eye-catching; her face was a little too thin to be called charming; her body shape was too slim to be regarded as attractive. She wasn't one to be superficial like this, but when analyzing the type of females that might hold Ron’s attention, she needed to face the reality of it; she wasn't a Veela, and she wasn't Madame Rosmerta. She was just Hermione Granger.

But it wasn't just a matter of not being physically suited for Ron. Hermione was also well aware that she was a difficult person to deal with; she could be overbearing, nagging, and unbearable at times. She tended to be very stubborn, and hated being wrong most of all, which didn't make her the easiest person to debate with. She had a vicious temper that could dish out the nastiest retorts when she was hacked off (not counting those days, of course). She could go on, but as Ron had so bluntly put it back in their first year, Hermione Granger was a nightmare. Back then, she convinced herself that her tears were because Ron had insulted her and it had hurt, and that was part of it. However, she knew now what had stung most about his words.

The fact that he was right. Hermione was a nightmare. She had no friends growing up before Hogwarts, and even after coming to the magical world, she still struggled to form bonds, to interact with people in a way that wasn't completely off-putting. Even her dorm mates didn't seem to like her very much, so she was still an outcast. It was baffling that her two best friends even put up with her. They were everything she wasn't; they had fun, they were relaxed, easygoing, funny (especially Ron), likeable. It was clear that Harry favored Ron over her, and who could blame him?

Then, there was the matter of Ron himself. Hermione truly believed that he liked her, admired her even, cared for her genuinely. She just couldn't understand why that was. Honestly, Ron could be so infuriatingly confusing at times. One moment, he would be making her laugh and having fun, then later he’d snap at her and act all moody for no reason.

The Scabbers and Crookshanks incident stuck out in her mind. Even though they had already settled that matter and she had apologized for it, Hermione still didn't understand why that had upset Ron so much. Ron always complained about his poor old rat, then got devastated when it was gone. It didn't add up, and she spent the entirety of that situation confused, but most of all scared for the future of their friendship (she even cried over it to Hagrid, for Merlin's sake!). Hermione had wanted to apologize sooner, but after the disagreement she had had with both boys over the Firebolt — which was another thing that contributed to Ron being hacked off with her, adding to the stress she was already undergoing due to her bloated schedule — she was just too upset and felt ganged up in both situations, so she held on to her stupid sense of pride instead of just admitting that she was wrong to let Crookshanks run free, even if it turned out that Scabbers wasn't actually dead and Crookshanks was trying to help them. The point is, they didn't know that.

Reflecting back on it, Hermione realized she had been very insensitive to the whole issue, and that maybe had led Ron to believe she didn't care for him or what he had. But that was the biggest problem! Hermione just wasn't good at being sensitive — she was far too logical and prideful to deal with things on a deep emotional level. Ron was the complete opposite, as he was much more emotionally driven and didn't overthink things like her. Just more confirmation to herself that they weren't compatible at all.

Oh, but she certainly allowed herself to believe otherwise. It hadn't escaped her that Ron had given her signals, however mixed they were, that he could possibly feel the same for her.

He had stayed by her bed in the infirmary every night he could after her Polyjuice mishap in second year, and, as she had learned from Harry after the fact, Ron had done the same when she was petrified. There was that awkward handshake they shared in the Great Hall after they had hesitated on a hug (she had had no problem hugging Harry, though). Then, the way Ron kept glancing at her and blushing when she caught his gaze, smiling shyly at her, or how his hand kept brushing against hers as if debating if he should hold it during their trip to Hogsmeade. He had a general caring nature towards her, making sure she ate and didn't overwork herself (even when they were in the middle of their big fight in third year), as well as helping her relax and have fun. He helped her with the Buckbeak case, jumping in to her aid without hesitation despite her still not having apologized to him. He also demonstrated possible jealousy and annoyance over Hermione's admiration for Lockhart (what was she even thinking?!) and Cedric.

These were somewhat weak points, she could admit. The infirmary visits, and his caring nature, are a couple of things that could just be brushed aside as Ron just being Ron; selfless, protective, loyal. These were all characteristics that defined Ron's behaviour towards everyone he considered important. These were the things that attracted her to him beyond his superficial beauty. His behaviour in Hogsmeade and in the common room, that might have simply be due to Ron being a teenage boy, and as Hermione very well knew, teenage boys were attracted to any girl on a base level, so perhaps it wasn't so much Hermione that was causing this, as was simply the fact that she was a girl (though she still found it laughable that she would be attractive to any boy even on a superficial basis).

It was a constant battle with herself over this. Her emotions would argue one thing, clinging to what little hope she had of something more with Ron, and her mind would immediately attempt to shut it down. It was a defense mechanism; she was just too scared of the possibility of rejection and wanted to lessen those intense feelings to avoid a potential heartbreak.

And then, the Yule Ball was announced. That seemed like the perfect opportunity for Hermione to finally get confirmation of Ron's true feelings towards her. He would either ask her, which she told herself would only happen in her wildest dreams, or someone else, which would crush her inside before she eventually came to accept it.

Well, the Yule Ball was now almost here, and so far, Ron had not asked her or anyone else for that matter — not counting his invitation to Fleur under the influence of her Veela charm, something she knew he couldn't help, but left her feeling jealous all the same, which her mind once again reminded her was baseless considering their current relationship status. Hermione had asked Harry if Ron had said anything about the Ball, or if he had anyone in mind already. Harry would look at her with an odd expression, before shrugging and telling her he had no idea. She found his behaviour a tad suspicious, but otherwise didn't press further. So, Hermione had been left to merely speculate on Ron's behaviour.

For now, Hermione came up with three possibilities. First, Ron already had a specific someone in mind but was afraid of the possibility of rejection. Second, Ron was afraid of being ridiculed by his dress robes. She knew how much he loathed them, and he had whined about it whenever the Ball was mentioned. Third, it was merely a combination of the two previous ones; they weren’t mutually exclusive, after all.

There was a fourth possibility, actually, but it was so ridiculous that Hermione felt dumb just entertaining the idea. However, maybe (and that was a very huge maybe), Ron did want to ask her, but was afraid of being rejected, ridiculed, or both. That would be a nice idea for her heart to cling to, if it wasn’t for the fact that Ron had no reason to believe Hermione would reject him or ridicule him (she had told him she didn’t find the dress robes that bad). She knew Ron didn’t have a lot of confidence in himself, she had told Harry as much, but surely he knew that even if he wanted to go as just friends, she wouldn’t shoot him down (the Ball didn’t require the pair to be a romantic one). If Ron believed she wasn’t available anymore, it’d make sense he’d be hesitant to risk it. But, again, he had no reason to believe anyone would be interested in asking her. Okay, to be fair, there was Viktor and he had already asked her three times, with her letting him down gently each time saying she wasn’t sure she’d go. That’d been puzzling even to her; why was Viktor asking her when he had dozens of fangirls starving for his attention? They barely interacted; she just helped him with homework, therefore Ron had no basis for any suspicions.

“Hey,” a familiar voice broke Hermione out of her musings. She looked up to see Ginny, having finally arrived.

“You’re late,” said Hermione, trying not to sound too irritated, only succeeding a little bit.

“Or maybe you’re just too early,” replied Ginny, sitting down across from Hermione, taking out her books and parchment.

Hermione decided to let that go and to focus on helping Ginny with what she needed. They started working, and after a while, Hermione began wondering if she’d get to interact with Ginny more often. They were a year apart, and as such, she already had her own friend group, but Hermione hoped she could call the ginger girl a friend one day. She would like a girl friend she could confide in, and talk about subjects she wouldn’t dare bring up with her boys. Harry had asked Ginny to the ball, and lately, seemed to be cozying up to her a lot more, which gave Hermione hope she would become a part of their circle soon.

Given Ginny very clearly fancied Harry, there was the possibility of something more developing under the surface there if Harry ended up infatuated with her as well. Now, if only Ron could ask-

Hermione noticed Ginny smirking devilishly at her, and was about to ask what it was, when another familiar voice from behind the bookshelf caught her by surprise.

"C'mon, mate, stop pretending to be interested in this. You're gonna talk to me." She heard him snort. "Immediate Transfiguration. Mate, you seriously expect me to believe you were willingly reading up on homework?" Hermione didn’t know who Harry was speaking to, but her immediate guess would be the same person who occupied her thoughts earlier. If this was indeed him, Hermione couldn’t deny it was a surprise to hear that he was reading one of their textbooks but she wouldn’t doubt him doing so. She knew Ron could be brilliant when he set his mind to things and didn’t second guess himself.

Suddenly, Harry stopped laughing and everything behind the bookshelf went quiet. The silence felt tense somehow. Hermione wanted nothing more than to go up to Harry and demand answers as to what this was all about. Ginny’s smirk, Harry’s position, having Hermione obscured behind a bookshelf; she was pretty certain that this was a plan for her to eavesdrop on some important conversation. If the person Harry was with was indeed the one she had in mind, she didn’t want to hear some potentially embarrassing secret and break his trust; it was just wrong.

And yet, Hermione couldn’t bring herself to move a single inch from where she sat. For some reason she couldn’t quite put into words, Hermione knew that whatever he was going to say, she needed to listen. The voice that spoke next confirmed her suspicions, but this wasn’t how Ron spoke at all.

"Yes, I was reading this book for real. Figured I could finally follow Hermione's advice and try to learn something to make myself worthwhile in class, saving McGonagall the stress and disappointment. But judging by your reaction, I guess I'm too much of a joke at this point to be smart in any way. I should've left it to Hermione. It's her thing."

Hermione was hit by a barrage of emotions from his statement, none of them good. She didn’t even know where to begin. Ron was reading up on homework because of her? She thought he found her nagging when it came to her reprimands. Hermione should’ve felt elated by that admission, instead of the cold chill that seeped into her bones from Ron’s tone. She wanted to get up and tell him that he wasn’t a joke, that he was smart, but felt like intervening wouldn’t be the right thing to do here.

She heard Harry try apologizing for what he implied before, but Ron didn’t wanna hear it. Ron didn’t sound angry or anything, and that should’ve relaxed Hermione, but instead it just made things worse, somehow.

"Why won't you take Hermione to the Ball with you? Don't even try to say it's those dress robes, I know that's rubbish." And there was the question Hermione now knew was what Harry wanted her to hear without Ron being aware of her presence. She was definitely curious for the answer, but given Ron’s sudden shift in mood, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it.

"You want the truth, then?" Ron now sounded… normal? Hermione hoped this meant that whatever explanation came next would be silly and they could drop it for good.

What she heard instead shocked her to the very core and once again, she didn't know how to feel about it all.

Ron… loved her? Hermione Granger? But… he didn’t think she felt the same way? Why?

Hermione didn’t need to think too much about it before Ron gave her his reasons. Hearing Ron put himself down like that hurt so much that Hermione had to cover a strangled sob that threatened to come out. Ugly? He was the most attractive person to her in many ways! And he was not stupid, he just doubted himself too much! And who gave a rat’s arse about him being poor?! That wasn’t his fault, and it didn’t make him less of an amazing person! Yes, he could be rude and vulgar, but he was allowed to be flawed! He wasn’t perfect, no one was! But his qualities far outweighed his flaws! Why couldn’t he see that?!

"I'm surprised Hermione and I are even friends; that she puts up with me when she can rattle off a list of all that's wrong with me, which just further proves I'm hopeless and I don't have a single worthwhile thing about me."

That wasn’t true! She always let Ron know how great she thought he was! Back in first year, she had told him how amazing he was for sacrificing himself in the chess game… right? No, he was knocked out after that. But she did tell him later… no, she didn’t. B-but, second year, she thanked him for defending her against Malfoy! Then again, he ended up hexing himself, so that probably didn’t count as a win for him. She let him and Harry know she was proud of them for killing the Basilisk. Well, Harry killed it alone, actually… he still couldn’t have done it without Ron! Oh, in third year, Hermione appreciated him standing up for her. She remembered… scolding him for it. Why did she scold him?! She knew why, because she didn’t like that he got detention, and felt guilty over it. But she could’ve thanked him, too! She did thank him for helping with the Buckbeak case… which they lost, leaving Ron probably feeling like it all meant nothing, and he didn’t help at all. And he didn’t get to accompany Harry and her in saving Buckbeak and helping Sirius due to being unconscious. Did she remember to tell him how brave he was for standing up to Sirius on a broken leg? Ugh, why was it so easy for her to point out his less-than-stellar moments but assume he would know when she admired something he did?

Ron’s next words would’ve made Hermione laugh if she wasn’t already trying her hardest not to cry profusely over every word. She was gonna rule the world? More like bore it to death. That whole “smartest witch of her age” always rubbed her the wrong way. What made her “the smartest”? The fact that she read and memorized a lot of books? Anyone could do that if they believed they could do it! Ron could be just as smart as, if not smarter than her if he wanted. It wasn’t fair for Ron to feel like he was less just because of a label people attached to her. Hermione felt moved to hear that Ron actually believed she would make a positive change in the world, when she previously thought he considered S.P.E.W to be pure rubbish.

His mention of Ginny made Hermione look at her for the first time since Ron started talking. Her expression was stony, and she was just staring at her hands with a vacant look, like she wasn’t aware of her surroundings anymore, only listening in to her brother’s words. Hermione could only imagine what it felt like for her to hear Ron speak so low of himself like that.

"Then there's me, honestly, can you point out a single thing you can say I'm good at? And, I don't want to hear you say things like "you're brave, you're funny, you're kind". No, I want actual talent for something." C’mon, Harry, remind him he’s just as good as us! Hermione waited for Harry to go on and on about everything he couldn’t have accomplished without Ron by his side. She was greeted by silence.

"See? Nothing. None of the subjects here, nothing in these books. I'm not good at a single damn thing that at least 10 other wizards can't do better. I guess there's chess, but no one has ever taken that as something serious from me. It's just a game, anyway, not a career potential." Ignoring her anger at Harry for the moment, she sat fuming at Ron instead for downplaying an impressive skill of his. It was not just a game! That skill is what allowed them to pass McGonagall’s test! Knowing how to play it could prove wonders if Ron were to pursue a career in the Aurors as a strategist! And he was not below average in magic; he clearly didn’t remember the time he knocked a troll out by levitating its club and dropping it on its head at the age of 11! What did Harry do? Shoved his wand in its nose and just angered it more?

But Ron still had more to say. She wondered how long he had been keeping all of this bottled up inside, and how much longer she would have to endure this without accidentally alerting him of her presence. It took her a moment to register what he was saying, but once she did, her mind was immediately bombarded by questions. What were people saying in the corridors about Ron, exactly? And how was she not aware of that? She didn’t think there were that many people besides Draco and his Slytherin bunch that said nasty things about them left and right. What was truly shocking was that they were talking about Ron. Harry wasn’t popular with everyone, what with his Boy-Who-Lived notoriety, but many people liked and admired him, even if it was simply for his status. And though she knew Ron tended to be treated as merely the sidekick, she still believed he was generally liked and regarded well. To hear that people in the school have been saying the complete opposite was mind-boggling. She suddenly had the urge to go around the school threatening to hex everyone that dared to speak of any degrading things about Ron.

Ron stopped talking. Hermione kept waiting for him to continue, or for Harry to finally say something. Instead, she heard Ron sigh and stand up, muttering something she couldn’t quite hear, before leaving in a hurry. Hermione wanted to get up immediately and follow him, but she just remained in place, as if binded, finally releasing the sobs she had been holding all this time. She let her head fall on her hands, as she continued to cry uncontrollably.

Eventually, she felt a hand touch her back, either Ginny’s or Harry’s, she couldn’t tell. They were saying something to her, but she wasn’t listening anymore.

She had to find Ron. They had to talk.

[anoseforrottenapples]

✵ for Mary!

Their first impression of your muse: Seeing as the first time I met Major Tallmadge, he had just invaded Setauket and chose to hold all of us hostage in the tavern, my initial impressions of the Major were not positive. I found him boorish, and obnoxious with his habit of swaggering around as if he were actually in command. He also displayed a violent streak---particularly alarming when one considers we were functionally at his mercy and I had little Thomas with me.

Current impression: Once I spent some time getting to know the Major, an unavoidable reality given how we have been bond together by Abraham's murder, I have found him to be a likeable man. He does have a tendency toward martyrdom that is not strictly needed. However, when he is not making needless sacrifices or getting so caught up in the conviction that his opinions are the only correct ones, he is quite likeable. I think, were he not under so much weight from the war, the likeable side of his personality would appear much more often then it currently does.

Are they attracted to your muse?: I think...had I met the Major under different circumstances or had we met before I married Abraham, I would have found the Major to be a very attractive man, at least physically. His politics would likely be rather off-putting, however. At this juncture...well...he is still physically attractive but the situation is complicated.

Something they find frightening about your muse: The fact that, as long as we reside in the camp, Thomas and I are effectively at his mercy. While I have great faith in the Major's innate goodness, I am not a fool. He has been growing more...perturbed of late and men find all manner of outlets for such emotions.

Something they find adorable about your muse: The Major does have a thoroughly adorable way of tilting his head and eyeing people or things when he is confused or perplexed. It's rather like watching a beagle puppy in a Dragoon's uniform...

Would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?: Under certain circumstances, I would sacrifice my good name to protect the Major. It is unlikely I would sacrifice my life however. Who would take care of Thomas were I to do something like that?

Would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic: By 'date' I suppose you mean an outing of some sort that might have a courting connotation? Well...while I would be willing to accompany the Major on a platonic outing, possibly with Thomas, I would have to think carefully before I accepted any offers of courtship from him.

One word my muse would use to describe yours: Obstinate.

Would my muse slap yours if they could?: While there have been many times I would have been delighted to slap the Major, I like to tell myself that we have moved past such irregularities in our relationship. I also like to think that we could discuss our problems as adults if we needed too, rather then resorting to slapping.

Would my muse hug/kiss yours?: I would hug the Major--have actually done so on the rare occasion--but I doubt I would kiss him anywhere but the cheek or perhaps the forehead. Any other kind of kiss would carry connotations, especially in the company we currently keep.

[thedramaclubs]

Changing lives (reprise)

Summery: Roman and Remus get the rest of the reviews and it was horrible that it closed their show. They soon meet one of their old friends and Remus’s husband meets them and soon they find something on Twitter to change their lives

Ships: Logicality, Prinxiety, demus/dukeceit

When their singing

Remus-green

Roman-red

Janus-orange

C!thomas-pink

All-purple

“The rest of the reviews are in! New York post, associated press, New York times” exclaimed Joan with ther phone in the air everyone started to get excited and looked on their phones as Roman and Remus are about to listen to how great their musical is........or so they thought.

Everyone’s faces changed to a sad and disappointed look and started leaving

“What? What’s happening?” said Roman as he watch everyone look at him and his brother in sadness.

“This is not a review anyone wants when you have shitty advance sales. This is gonna close us” said Joan

Roman gasp and Remus was shocked “What didn’t they like was it the hip hop?”

“Yeah but not that”

“For gods sake sakes Joan read it.” The twins sat down as Joan read the horrible reviews.

“Ok here’s the highlights, “Remus Allen’s FDR might just be the most insulting misguided, offensive, and laughable performance that this reviewer has ever had the squirming misfortune to endure. Emphasis on the insulting because he try to make him self look like that he was trying to give me intrusive thoughts about FDR.”

“That’s how I normally look what the hell?!?!”

“I mean it’s not so bad” said Roman as he played with his dress

“DO HIM ALREADY!!” “What I’m just saying.”

“Watching Romans Eleanor Roosevelt, corking out a heavy-handed message of activism, is like paying an aging drag queen to shove a syurp-soaked American flag down my throat. And also Eleanor should have been played by a women”

Roman was on the verge of tears “Thats not criticism that’s a personal attack.” His voice cracked and Remus hugged him as he shed a tear

“If your considering buying a ticket to the show do yourself a favor. By a few feet of good heavy rope instead and then go hang yourself”

“Holy fuck, oh god, poopy. Was the show that bad?”

“It’s not the show it’s you two. Your just not likeable.”

“What?” They said simultaneously

“Nobody likes a narcissist.” They sat in silence over what they just heard. “Leave it to me I’ll go and try to change the narrative once again” Joan then left the twins alone in the bullding

“I hate this world” “this just hurts my heart, Where did everybody go?”

They talked over each other as the walk to the bar to find a man in a pink suit. “What can I get ya?” said the man “Yola mezcal blackberry smash” said the twins at the same time. “My condolences Roman. But remember you do have friends” said the man making their drinks.”

“Thank you. Who are you?”

“Thomas Sanders.......we’ve done five shows together.”

“Ugh Thomas went to Juilliard and won’t shut up about.” Whispered Remus as he told Roman “Oh right Thomas. Thomas haha....... why are you dressed like waiter?” I’m in between gigs at the moment. Honestly Roman I feel adrift as i did in my days before Juilliard” Remus proceed to chug a drink that was on the table as Thomas continued to talk about Juilliard and the two were just over it.

“Still I have played hamlet and I’m still known as that guy from the beloved early aughts sitcom “Talk to the hand” I question everything about my existence” As he continues to rant about the past what they didn’t notice as a man in a golden sequiny dress with a black hat and a yellow ribbon tied on it with long golden brown hair walking their way

“Hey guys!”

Roman and Remus turned around to see Janus Allen, Remus’s husband

“Jannie!!!” Remus picked up Janus and spun him around and soon dipped him into a kiss which turn into a make out session. “Ahem I know you two lovebirds haven’t seen each other all day but can it wait we’re still here ya know.” They both looked at Roman and giggle a little from embarrassment “Sorry your show closed on opening night again. Welcome to the world of the unemployed,hit me up next.”

“I thought you were in Chicago?” asked Remus “I totally didn’t quit just now 20 years in the chorus and still wouldn’t let me play Roxie Hart and now their letting Tina Louise play her” “That bitch is still alive” said Remus as he chugs another drink

“We’re wasting our lives.” Said Roman as they are all slightly drunk “Ok I refuse to give up we’re still celebrities we still have power.” “Yeah well The Times casted you out” said Thomas as he poured another drink “Yep they wrote you off as aging narcissist and I’m only allowed to call Remus that.” “I still don’t understand what’s wrong with that.” Said Roman as he drinks even more. “You know what we will become celebrity arsonist.” “Babe it’s call celebrity activist we are not burning down another building like last time.” “Ok everyone think of causes.”

“Poverty”

“World hunger”

“Too big we need something we can handle”

“Let’s see whats trending” said Janus “Trump, trump, trump, ooo how about this boy he’s all over Twitter. His names Patton Heart. He’s from edgewater, Indiana. He’s gay. He wanted to take his boyfriend to the highschool prom and the pta went apeshit and canceled it.”

We are now in Edgewater, Indiana and Patton Heart is watching the head of the pta, Mrs Green being interviewed. “We have very strict rules for prom. Young ladies must wear non-revealing dresses. Young men must wear suits or tuxes. And if a student chooses to bring a date it must be of the opposite sex” “Can’t you just ban this student?” “Well we’ve been advised that there may be some legal repercussions if we prevent this boy from attending so although it breaks my heart we have no choice to cancel prom.” We move to Mr Virgil Hawkins the principal “The first thing I’m going to do is contact the state attourney this is not about school rules this is a civil right case.” “Wait seriously?” Said Patton. “Yes and if word gets out people will get mad and next thing you know some modern day Eleanor Roosevelt is gonna come and hell’s gonna break loose.”

We move back to New York “We got to go down their and raise holy hell” exclaimed Roman “We’ll be the biggest thing to happen to Indiana since........whatever’s happen in Indiana are you with me!?!” Said Remus as he and Roman start stand on top of a table they all cheered “We’ll get Joan to tag along to find us a venue” “I just book us a non-union tour of Godspell and I goes through Indiana we can ride on the bus.” Said Thomas “Can we do this guys” Said Janus “You bet your sweet MILF ass we can jannie”

🎶 We are gonna prove that in this day and age being gay isn’t a crime. This is out moment to change the world one homo 🎶

🎶Homo🎶

🎶Homo 🎶

🎶Homo🎶

🎶At a time🎶

🎶 we’re gonna help that little homo, whether he likes it or not, when your a legendary thespian 🎶

🎶First you help the distressed 🎶

🎶Then you help the distraught🎶

🎶We’re gonna go to where the necks are red and lack of dentistry thrives, Why sing and dance when you can take a stance🎶

🎶And know your truly changing lives. We’re gonna March until that town looks like the end of act one in les mis. You don’t gotta have a Ph.D in psych to know that people kowtow to the folks in the biz🎶

🎶We’re gonna teach’em to be more PC the minute or group arrives🎶

🎶That’s right🎶

🎶Those fist-pumping🎶

🎶Bible-thumping🎶

🎶Spam-eating🎶

🎶Cousin-humping🎶

🎶Cow-tipping🎶

🎶Shoulder-slumping🎶

🎶Tea-bagging🎶

🎶Jesus-jumping🎶

🎶Losers and their inbred wives. They’ll learn compassion🎶

🎶And better fashion🎶

🎶Once we at last start changing lives!!!!🎶

🎶Now let’s go help that dyke🎶

People to tag/ @artissijules

This took a long time to write

[humanwheatleyslefttoenail]

Number 15 :o)

NUMBER 15 BURGER KING BURGER-

Ok all jokes aside, unpopular opinion time. 

- It’s cool if you just personally don’t like ChellDOS, but shipping aside, I think they are coded as a couple. I mean, GLaDOS sings her Cara Mia and Don’t Say Goodbye, which are objectively love songs. Want You Gone and You Wouldn’t Know are breakup songs. There’s deleted content where GLaDOS passive aggressively gets mad at Chell “cheating on her” by talking to other cores. GLaDOS begins to use “we” in old Aperture and starts treating Chell like an ally, then saves her and lets her go, all while revealing the humanity she’d promised not to reveal to anyone else. The ENTIRE FOCUS of the series is on their changing, dynamic relationship be it as friends or enemies. Their arc is also literally just... an enemies to lovers set up lol. Again, I’m not saying it’s canon per se or that you have to ship it or like it, but I am saying there’s a lot of canon subtext there. (Also btw I heard somewhere “cake” in Argentinian Spanish is slang for lesbians so maybe the cake isn’t a lie-)

- Wheatley is very flawed, and throughout the whole game. I don’t think he was always evil and I definitely think he got corrupted just like GLaDOS, but I also don’t think it was a case of “Corrupt The Cutie.” He’s never been a cinnamon roll or whatever the fandom calls it - he’s shown having some implicit sexism, he’s cowardly, he’s flighty, he’s so obviously a show off because he’s so underconfident. People seem to gloss over these things, especially his actions in the mainframe (which, btw, he is at least partially responsible for), but I feel like if you do that and then justify everything he does... you don’t have Wheatley anymore. Wheatley’s flaws make him *more* sympathetic imo, not less - like I see fics and art where people insist Wheatley doesn’t need to redeem himself or grow in any meaningful way and just want him to be forgiven. I really don’t like that because A) It’s just not true and B) a flawed but likeable character struggling to be better is so much more compelling and relatable. 

- Chelley is. Not a good ship. But. I still like it out of nostalgia and because Blue Sky lol. I think it could work post-canon but first Wheatley would need to do a lot of work on his end and actually prove to Chell that he is worthy. Unfortunately, a lot of Chelley content doesn’t actually do this and has Chell do all the emotional work for him which I don’t like. I consider myself a fan of this ship and I think if you search it up, I’m one of the blogs that comes up, but I don’t like it as much as ChellDOS and I wish people put more consideration into their fanworks when portraying it. 

- Cave dying was actually kinda sad - like he was a bad person and everything but his last few intercom messages still really get me after everything he did. He made so many fucked up decisions but like, I think it’s very relatable - this idea of getting so caught up in your own ideas that you hurt everyone around you and don’t realize until it’s too late and you’re going down with them. It’s sad because like... there were so many chances for him to stop and they never happened, and with the lemon rant he’s still struggling against everything. He still never gave up. And like... idk it just makes me emotionally because he was a bad guy for sure but he’s very human. It doesn’t make me sad in an “oh he didn’t deserve that” way, but more like the way you’re sad after finishing a Greek tragedy kinda way, if you get what I’m saying. 

- I wish I saw more content for the P1 cores because they’re adorable. I want to give the Curiosity Core and the Cake Core hugs. They are babey. 

- Wheatrat and Chellmann aren’t that popular rn because Doug never actually shows up in the game, but both these ships are seriously underrated imo (maybe that’s just the multishipper in me lol). ChellMel and Chellyx are also good and I wish there was more content for that, too. 

- It’s 2020. Can we stop acting like Wheatley did nothing wrong. Can we stop acting like GLaDOS is Only Mean And Has No Other Traits. Nuance is a thing, and the Valve writers didn’t spend hours meticulously creating these three dimensional characters for the fandom to turn them into UwU Cinnamon Roll and Mean Evil. 

- I think Chell is actually a pretty kind person - the fact the game gives you the option to save companion cubes and the oracle turrets, the fact she still tries to stop Wheatley from going to space, the fact that she allies with GLaDOS despite everything, the fact that you physically cannot let go of Wheatley in the first half when you’re holding him - Chell really only does bad things when it’s a literal matter of life and death. She’s a good person just looking out for her own survival, and I don’t like how the fandom has decided she’s mean, angry, or just as bad as GLaDOS and Wheatley when she’s pretty clearly not.

- We as white portal fans need to do better and think critically about the way we’re portraying Chell, be that drawing or writing her. Stuff like not portraying her as an angry stereotype and not whitewashing her. It’s really sad to see the amount of implicit racism in the fandom. 

- Blue Sky is still good although GLaDOS being the bad guy again was a bit OOC. I think it still serves as a good study of Wheatley and I like that it acknowledges his flaws and ultimately makes him responsible for his own redemption, not Chell. Also, “Prove it” was a raw line - I still can’t get it out of my head. 

- He’s unpopular for obvious reasons, but I really like Nigel from Aperture Tag. He’s so charming and quirky and then when he betrays you, he’s such a fun and charismatic villain. I love to hate Nigel and I wish Wheatley had been more like that when he turned evil. Nigel is a good combination of weirdly cute, intimidating, and frustrating. He’s a really well written villain and I wish more people knew about both him and Aperture Tag. 

- GLaDOS didn’t delete Caroline. I don’t think she physically can, and I think she was just lying so that Chell wouldn’t come back or think GLaDOS had feelings lol. I think even Ellen said she thought Caroline wasn’t deleted. 

[poisonousroxstar]

Imagine:

Makoto Naegi with a Yandere S/O.

(long post, by the way!)

(Slight, ever so slight n✿fw warning)

When he first met you, Makoto couldn't help but be attracted to your gentle, sweet nature that comforted him always. Whenever he felt sad, disappointing, or angry, you'd come to his need and whisper things. Things that put him at ease.

Although he'd never feel that way about you, he saw you as his greatest ally. His best friend.

But... that's not what you wanted. At all. You loved him more then anyone else, you were willing to do just about anything to make him like you! You were so certain he'd fall for that charm, so when he didn't... It was devastating. But... you'd continue to love him, continue to be there for him. You had convinced yourself that, in some way, he'd come to love you the way you loved him.

Your devotion to him was almost as obsessive as Toko's. But unlike her, you didn't make it apparent as to not scare him off.

Which is why he never caught on to your - now looking back at it, obvious - issues.

You always managed to disguise your prying in a tone so sweet, syrup practically dripped from every word.

"how was your day? Anything interesting happen?" "What're you up to today? Wanna hang out! I'd really like too!" "Did you hang out with anyone new?"

Makoto would always answer your questions honestly.

"It was fine, I guess.. not much really happened but I did finally beat that level!"

"Yeah sure! I'll be right there"

"uhh, not really... W-well uhm...there was this o-one person..."

Huh-

It didn't take much time to know he was crushing on someone... It was apparent in the way he grew awkward and stiff in his speech. And how you could practically feel the blush irradiating off his words.

And every word he said regarding them felt like a skewer through your body.

You loved him so, SO much that it hurt...so why?

Why was he making you suffer more?

How much more of yourself do you have to strain, just for him to mumble a simple...

"I love you"

But, you wouldn't allow this to penetrate your facade. Instead, you made it seem like you were happy for him

"Wow, makoto. Sounds like you have a crush~" you'd tease him, hiding how bitter those made your mouth taste

"H-hey! That's not it!"

"Yeah yeah, lover boy, whatever you say~ careful though, don't want a flagpole shooting up if you hug them, eh~?" That definitely made him stutter, more then before especially. What a cutie..

After this, makoto began seeing you a lot more then usual. Sure, I mean, you did hang about him a bunch, but recently it had been more frequent.

He never suspected anything though, you just wanted to hang out is all. Besides, you were his best friend! Why would he suspect you?

It didn't take long for you to discover the person he was crushing on, due to his many mannerisms you had studied down to a T practically giving it away.

That, and he just (reluctantly) told you.

Now, to get rid of them. That poison in the lake..

Don't worry! You'd never kill someone, no no! Although...

With the plan you'd put in motion, you're sure that death may of been more merciful..

A week or two passed, and Makoto noticed changes in the person he liked. They were more gloomy, reserved and even a bit fidgety now. Contrasting their once outgoing and laid-back nature.

He began noticing how people looked at them too. Disgust, anger, spite, or pity were a common expression thrown their way. And soon, bullying was happening as well.

Vicious rumors had been spreading like wildfire about them, quickly destroying their reputation and likeability and ultimately alienating them.

What was gossip quickly turned into truth, and that was all you wanted. Everyone believed it, even Makoto did, and soon they came less and less to the public.

Until eventually, they stopped coming entirely.

This was all you wanted! Now, it was just you and him. No one else that could get in the way.

The plan work worked more perfect then how you wanted it though. It seems your lies grew to the bounds of the internet and cyberbullying quickly began spreading through their daily life. Even when they left, they weren't safe.

It didn't shock you much when their body was found in their residence. Gently swaying side to side as they hanged from the rope tied around their neck. Face deathly pale and nails stained with their blood.

What a loser, even in death they couldn't do it right. Hah!

This didn't effect you much, if at all. It actually felt very rewarding for you, knowing your actions pushed them over the edge.

The same, however, could not be said for Makoto.

He was extremely shaken up by the discovery, and a part of him felt like he could of helped them.

He could of saved them. He saw what was happening, and he didn't do anything. Why?

Why didn't he help them, when they needed it the most? Why was he such a coward?

Taking note of this, you quickly sprung into action. Bashing away those hideous thoughts.

"Makoto, don't think like that! You couldn't of prevented this... They..they did this to themselves.. they just couldn't take it anymore... I'm sure they're happier where they are now, and from what I've seen, they wouldn't of wanted you to be sad!".

Although he still blamed himself. That brought him some comfort, especially from you.

But... This wouldn't be the last instance something like this would happen.... It was one of many, in fact.

A disturbing number of people that use to buzz around the ultimate lucky student slowly began distancing themselves from him and the school, one by one each abandoning him and succumbing to the relentless bullying. Much to his grief.

Yet every step of the way, you stood alongside him. Reassuring this was never his fault, and that he didn't deserve to blame himself for it.

Maybe that's what gave you away. How you always stuck with him thick and thin. How you crept your way into practically every moment of his life now.

Slowly, he began to realize the seeds of ignorance you'd sow in him. How you'd tell him they weren't worth his time anymore, how they were idiots to abandon someone as sweet and as caring him.

And how you'd never leave his side. That you'd be with him every step of the way.

Makoto confronted you about his suspicion, although instead of replying with a harsh or demanding tone, the words came out with a softness.

Even if you were the cause of why students had been dropping like flies...he still cared about you deeply. And even if he was angry, he could never bring himself to truly yell at you.

Your expression at his accusation was obvious confusion "uh, what? Why would I be the one making them leave?" You'd say, your voice evidently laced with pain.

Makoto quickly apologized for hurting your feelings, but continued on about his impending suspicion about you, and how he felt like something was just...off

The last thing he wanted was to lose you. You were there for him, you cared for and about him when no one else would. You always took care of him, and he didn't want this to the be the case but...

No, you couldn't allow this to happen. You worked too hard and came too far for him to just do this to you. You! Of all people, he was suspicious of you!

The one who was always there for him!

The one who wiped away those that always threatened to spill whenever someone he cared for disappeared!

The one would risk both life and limb just to see him smile!

Why?! Why did he always do this?? Why did he always make you suffer so much.

Makoto saw a new side of you. An aspect of yourself that triggered an almost primal instinct of his to leave. Run away as fast as he could. And yet he couldn't. His legs remained perfectly positioned, much to his inner agony. He feared what he saw.

And what he saw, was anger.

You were angry at him, angry at yourself, angry at the world. Oh, why couldn't he just love you! Why?! Was it that hard to do?

You didn't care anymore, you decided that if he wasn't going to make the first move, you would.

Gripping firmly onto his stiff hands, you began to confess your feelings. You told him everything: how you had loved him since an early age, how just being near him was enough to get you started in the day and ready for anything. You told him how he made you feel like an entirely new person, and that your life, once boring and plain, had a burst of colour every time you were near him.

You even started diving into secrets, your mind so wrapped up in finally being able to do this just letting them slip.

You added how you'd sometimes take things from him while he wasn't looking. At first it was regular things he'd never miss like an empty soda can or a video game disk that was broken. Then, as it continued, the context got more intense.

Like how you sometimes snuck into his room whenever he wasn't around (it was pretty easy to get in to considering his family really liked you, and that you'd lie and say you were grabbing something for him) and that you started taking more private things from him like his shirts, pants....undies. anything that remotely smelled of him placed you in a high you hadn't felt before.

You even touched yourself with the toothbrush you took from him while also inhaling his scent, pretending he was the one doing all of that to you. Even now, the thought made you quiver even now.

Makoto was completely awestruck. He was frozen in place, overwhelmed and unable to process what you just told him. A part of him always knew you liked him more then a friend, and perhaps a tiny bit of him was feeling the same way due to recent events.

But whatever chances of love that were there had completely vanished and turned into air. What resided now was terror. He was afraid of you, and what you would do to him.

And he was wise to think that. While you felt relief to finally be able to say all you, your heart was still whirling in anger. Yet instead of shouting at him, you calmly--and eerily lovingly-- said this.

"you make me feel whole, you make everyday to me more lively and worth loving! I love you, Makoto Naegi. I love you so much... That it hurts... It hurts so much sometimes, but I persist, for you! I want to revolve my everything around you! Please, please accept my confession..please?"

He hated how his face burned red for a split second, but quickly that sinking feeling returned to him, and appropriately, he shakily refused your confession. And with some trembling force, he pried his hands from yours.

"i-i'm sorry s-s/o... But... I don't love you like that... And I can't just forgive what you did. Because of your actions, a good person lost their life! You even made all my friends disappear! I...i-i-i can't LOVE someone like that- like you! You..." And that's where everything blurred for you..

What...what did he just say?... "I can't love you?".... Huh... But...

Makoto felt a dark aura disperse from your body as you became stiff and quiet, like a stone statue. Your eyes grew a shadow darker, amplifying to your intimidating appearance as your once bliss smile dropped into a devastated frown. The mixing energies of your being and your expression made him gulp from terror and guilt, and send a shiver running down his back.

You don't remember much of what happened afterwards, but you were aware enough to know your body began moving on its own and towards the boy who made your heart beat faster. Even now, you loved him... But now, you also despised him. For being so...selfish. after all the time and effort that was sacrificed for him, he still didn't love you... Well, you could fix that. You tried the subtle approach, but perhaps a more "direct" method was needed to drill that thought inside his head. Maybe that's what motivated your body to move on its own.

You faded in and out to what was happening at that moment. You remember makoto attempting to run but being cut off when you grabbed him and brought him to the ground. You remember him shouting in an attempt to alert someone about his attack. And then, you grabbed something solid and hard, and bashed it into his head.

He survived thankfully, but he was knocked out cold and bleeding profusely. On top of that, you were sure someone could of heard what was happening. At that point you were panicking, but were composed enough to come up with a half-assed solution. Although it seemed impossible, you had hope it would work...

And work, it did.

Makoto found himself in a weird building, one that wasn't too familiar to him. He couldn't remember what happened, his mind twisting in pain as he rubbed the bandaged area that had been struck by a rock. "A rock? I was attacked..?" And then that's when everything flooded back to him. How you entered a blind rage and began to attack him, bringing him to the ground and easily overpowering the boy before knocking him unconscious.

He tried moving to at least get a better understanding of where he was, but it'd prove futile due to his arms and legs bound to a chair. He tried shouting, but it was useless due to the gag in his mouth which.. he had justed noticed was there. Makoto did everything he could to try and get out of his confinements, pulling and pushing his limbs as much as he could yet only achieving a slight *rattle* from the bounds.

His fear would only increase when the sweet honey suckle voice that once brought him comfort, but now only pure terror, bounced from the buildings walls. You smiled gently at makoto in a manner that seemed like it was almost mocking him. You greeted him like you did everyday previously; warmly and with a fun energy! You hoped he slept well, and you informed him he'd been out for quite a bit, and that you fixed that little bump on his head! Though, he didn't need to thank you. Not like he could!

You then told him you had brought him to a special place where no one but the birds and bugs outside would disturb them! You also told him not to worry about his school life or family, you had already taken care of it! You said to your hostage that he'd been staying here for a bit until you had made him love you.

Makoto didn't know what to do, and he was scared beyond anything he'd ever felt. What happened to you? What happened to the S/O he use to know? Was it all just a facade?... Oh god, what were you gonna do to him?

Noticeable sweat drops and a purple hue took over his expression, pure fear etched into those darling features of his which you came to adore. You told makoto that, if he behaved and began to love you, that nothing bad would ever happen to him. you wouldn't touch a single hair on his ahoge, so long as he said these simple words.

I love you.

And yet, even then, makoto couldn't abide to your rule. Upon taking off his gag, makoto tried to reason and plead with you to let him go, that even if he was captured he'd never tell anyone about it; and that even if you were an insane person, you were still his friend! And that you could get better! And-

*SMACK* You slapped him across the face and shoved the gag back into his mouth. You had enough with this "friend" nonsense, and you weren't insane! What was he even on about? Was he trying to make you hurt again?... Well, it wasn't gonna work. Now, it was his turn to suffer. To hurt him like he hurt you until he learned to love you as much as you loved him.

You disappeared for a moment, and in that time frame makoto soaked in what had just happened. You smacked him?! You really smacked him! And it wasn't like it was painless either, the red print on his cheek said otherwise. Tears threatened to topple over at that moment, the fear, pain, anger; betrayal, guilt, regret all getting the better of him. His thoughts were brought back to earth when you returned to him brandishing a fresh set of sterile, sharp tools that glistened in the rays of sun that managed to seep through the building.

You expressed an awed grin as you brandished a sharp tool towards his neck, pressing it against him until a small line of blood began to ooze down. Makoto's eyes were filled with immense terror, and the colour that remained had completely drained from his face. He was shaking intensely and you swear heard him take a hard swallow. God he was adorable, even now. You didn't want to hurt, you truthfully didn't... But playing nice wasn't going to get you anywhere, so hurting him was a necessity. He would scream, yell, cry, beg, but it wouldn't deter you from your mission of love. Even if he feared you in the end, even if he hated you by the end, if it meant you'd get to keep him now and forever... It'd be worth it.

Makoto's spirit and willpower were completely destroyed by you. He couldn't remember anything really, blurring in and out of consciousness as his body was assaulted nearly daily now. He couldn't think of anything but the pain that irked his body and his mentality. It hurt everywhere, it even hurt breathing now. Why were you doing this to him? He just wants to go home, he just wants to see his family again... He just wants the pain to stop. Please... Make it stop.

What remained of the past makoto had been largely snuffed out, replaced with a shivering scared young boy instead. A nice, obedient boy, one who'd obey you without a fault. It honestly worked much better then you thought, and you were amazed at how quickly the personality of someone can change. You were sure he wouldn't try anything, now that his energy and motivation were depleted, so you released him from his bounds and carefully took him out of the chair. Makoto wanted to fight back, thrash and run for the doors, but he just... couldn't. His body and his mind were too out of it for him to do anything.

All he could do was writhe in pain. Emotional, physical, mental, it all hurt to the point his tears began running down his face again. You gently wiped away those tears, caressing his hair and telling him how much of a good boy he was to endure all that. You spoke to him in that sickly sweet tone he came to fear, as it always meant something awful was about to happen to him... But, he didn't try resisting anymore. It was pointless.. but he craved that kindness you once had. He hated himself for still wanting to see the good in you, he hated how much he still cared about you... And he was scared that a piece of him did eventually come to love you a tiny bit. He wanted to suppress these feelings, all of them and just let the anger remain... But he was so, so touch starved for any kind of kindness or humanity that his body couldn't help but weakly curl up to your warmth, as much as he hated.

Your heart pounded as he did this. He was starting to love you! You were the happiest person on earth! All that work and effort had finally paid off, makoto, your love, FINALLY returned your affection! You could just throw him in the air and hug him until his ribcage broke, but couldn't do that right now because there was a high chance his ribcage would actually break in his current state.

You were quick to nurse him back to a stable condition, how you did this completely mesmerized him. When did you even learn this? How long were you planning to kidnap me? So many thoughts, so little answers. For the first few days of his slow recovery, makoto tried thinking of a plan to get out and return to his family, then when that was done he'd have you put away somewhere. Far, far away from him where'd you rot.

But every time he tried thinking of a way of to get away from you, his heart would coil with guilt almost instantly and his train of thought would be derailed. Why was he feeling this way for you? You kidnapped him! You hurt him! Why should he start loving you?...

Why was he starting to love you?

....and then, time passed. Makoto was fully healed physically, although he still was not nearly as stable mentally or emotionally, but that was fine. He was quiet now, and you missed his voice sure but, he'd come back around eventually! So you spent a few days alone with him, bringing back some stuff for you two to do and munch in an attempt to bring out some remnants of his past self a bit. it didn't help much as makoto only did things whenever you told him too, but eventually he started doing stuff again. He ate whenever he needed, and cleaned himself when it started getting bad, and as a reward you'd smother him with kisses, hugs, and buy him one of his favourite things for every little achievement he unlocked! Makoto couldn't explain what he was feeling for you, or maybe he just didn't want to accept it. He was still scared, still so angry with you or your selfishness... But he craved you. He craved your affection, your love.

And then more time passed.. makoto was allowed to go back to his family once he had been fully trained. But he couldn't stay away from you very long, spending a night by himself felt so... Odd for him.. after all the time you two spent together, without your presence near him he felt absolutely alone.

This emotional dependence on you caused him to fumble even basic day to day tasks. He was so use to the lack of people that the sudden amount of eyes on him made his anxieties spike. It felt like someone was wrapping their hands around his neck, squeezing the air right out of his lungs. He needed you so, so much right now. He needed you to tell him how good he was, he needed your love.

When he finally does get to see you again, he's practically in tears and sobbing profusely. He missed you so much! Where did you go? Why weren't you responding to him? You were his world, and you completely left him! He just clung to you for the most time, refusing to release in fear you'd drift away again. He wanted to hate you, he really did, but only a small bit was allowed to sink through as the rest simply roared for you.

You were makoto's crutch for stability. Honestly, you weren't too upset about this. If anything, it made you feel needed from the one you love most and that's all you ever wanted. He finally realized... That all he ever needed was you, and whatever you did to him back then was only for him to get a clearer view of his future.

And you finally got your wish, with teary eyes that could flood an entire desert and a heartbroken, desperate.

"i love you, S-S/O!"

Finally... Finally, he had said what you always wanted. You practically melted into his being as he muttered those words, you had never felt such a wash of pleasure come over you! He said what was needed, and you returned it in full! You two devoted time to each other, and you loved each other through thick and thin.

Makoto's independence had completely evaporated when you had tortured him daily back then, and his emotions were completely erratic. You controlled him, you kept him in check, and you loved every second of it.

Finally... The man you loved, was yours.

Forever ♡

Sorry if it was a bit rushed near the end! It was going on for too long, so I just needed to hurry it up! I'm going to make them smaller in the future, so please enjoy this.... whatever!

[daesungfmd]

hello! i’m peyton, but you can call me pey for short if you’d like; either is fine by me. i’ve only recently returned to tumblr rp, so i’m still getting back into the swing of things! please....... be patient with me in the meantime. anyway, i’m going to be writing for impulse’s lead vocal  &  rapper, hwang daesung! go ahead and leave a  ♡  if you’re interested in plotting with us and i’ll send you an im asap!

private profile  /  idol profile  /  plots  /  pinterest

daesung is originally from the neighborhood of samcheong in seoul. his mom owns a small salon there, which is where he spent the majority of his time while he was growing up (and where he still spends a lot of his free time nowadays, tbh). 

he doesn’t have any siblings  &  his dad passed away when he was twelve, so it was just him, his mom and the stray cats that they fed. they struggled quite a bit in these times and daesung’s mom often considered selling the salon, but daesung refused to let that happen. he didn’t ask for a whole lot because he didn’t want to make her feel bad.

but! he’s always been very deeply interested in music  —  stems a little from memories of just sitting in the family car with his dad and sharing music as well as listening to a busker who frequently performed near his school.

wanted to be a rockstar, which definitely irritated his mom. she wanted to be supportive, but she also wanted him to succeed in life  &  knew how hard it would be for him to make something like that come true.

regardless, she kept buying him the cds, record players, records, guitars, etc that he asked for around his birthday and the holidays because he never wanted anything else.

a series of strong-willed fights resulted in daesung’s mom finally allowing him to audition for companies. after many rejections, he found his home at gold star entertainment.

he became a trainee in early 2012—so when he was 15—and two years later, he debuted with impulse. during this time, he became estranged from his mother, but after debuting, he began to get closer to her again.

he stayed outwardly optimistic during his time as a trainee, but he didn’t exactly love it and his health was on a steady decline, both physically and mentally. there were times when he wanted to back out because he didn’t want to be an idol, he wanted to be a rock musician, but... he had too much pride to go back home. so he stayed.

during next: origin story, daesung’s poor dancing skills  &  unfaltering confidence had him framed as an arrogant boy with no shame; furthermore, he was said to be dumb because of how many times certain things had to be explained to him. towards the end of the show, he was able to redeem himself a bit, though.

to be fair............... he is kind of dumb. promoted as the ~4d type~, but it’s not like that image was pulled out of thin air --- he’s more or less the same on and off camera, can’t really differentiate between his work persona and his actual self. the best way i can describe it is that it’s really obvious that he isn’t book/traditionally smart, but he’s intelligent in other ways: emotionally, first and foremost. 

anyway! in impulse, the shameless and dense aspects of his personality that the public had already met were molded into a new, more likeable persona... although more likeable is still up for debate. during the debut era, he was very loud, a little too honest, always trying to crack a joke  &  steal the show.

in his most ridiculous shenanigan so far... he has a nervous habit of scratching his head (also does this when he’s embarrassed  —  i.e, when someone’s making fun of him) and fans made a compilation of the clips. he took it much further than he should have and made a statement without running it past management about how he’d been scratching because he had lice. never actually had lice, but fans began gifting him with copious amounts of lice shampoo, hair trimmers, plastic gloves, hairnets, etc. management was definitely fed up with him over this... but he found it hilarious.

impulse debuted nearly  7  years ago, so he has toned down his behavior a bit... or maybe the public’s just gotten more used to it? it’s hard to be shocked by him now ‘cause the public’s already seen it all. seen as the kind of idol who has no shame whatsoever.

i intend to push him towards variety whether he likes it or not. he really, really wants to act, but the company’s quite adamant about not letting him do that (for one good reason: he sucks at acting)... so maybe variety’s the next best thing? he certainly doesn’t want to be reduced to the few osts he’s done, anyway. </3

he doesn’t hate being an idol. it isn’t what he wanted, but all things considered, he doesn’t think it’s that bad, either. impulse’s music is a lot better now than it was when they debuted, he’s made a lot of friends who he never would’ve otherwise met  &  he likes to be known/liked. kinda indifferent about the idol status ig.

for more general facts about daesung... he’s quite the social butterfly. he has many friends, but i imagine that he doesn’t have very many close ones. partially because he doesn’t tend to spend too much time with individuals  &  partially because it’s hard to break past the superficial layer with him. his fans will claim that he’s the most genuine guy around, but when you actually know him, the constant grin and jokes become a bit unnerving. especially when it’s obvious that he’s not doing well, but refuses to speak about his feelings.

but once he deems someone trustworthy, he’s the king of oversharing. he’s a very open book, will tell you anything you wanna know if he knows that you actually care.

he’s a very affectionate guy, whether he’s close to someone or not. he thinks the world could definitely use some more love (and he’s seen first-hand that idols tend to be the angstiest mfs around), so he’s always looking for a way to brighten someone’s day or at least get the tiniest smile out of ‘em. with people he is close to, he’s usually pretty touchy; likes to hug his friends, rub their backs, ruffle their hair, etc, but his affection is also shown through words of affirmation! if you need an ego boost, he’s here to provide it. thinks his friends are the absolute coolest. with people he’s not close to, he tends to crack jokes to break the ice, try to talk about their interests, pay attention to whatever they have to say. gives spontaneous gifts to friends and acquaintances. likes to spend time with people, too, whether he knows them well or he’s just starting to.

he says “i love you” like it’s his life’s motto. calls up his friends when he’s drunk like, “you know that i love you, right? i really love you. so much... damn. i miss you!!! i love you and i miss you! please come back to me!!!” aka it starts out innocent enough but then he starts sounding like a crazy ex. no worries, though, it’s just your good ol’ friend daesung acting like a fool because it’s been a week since he last saw you. <3

makes spontaneous phonecalls. if he has your number in his phone, he’s definitely called you a handful of times — even if you’re a virtual stranger. i imagine there are plenty of people who’ve probably blocked his number at this point.

he’s interested in fashion, but if he said this aloud, it would be treated as a shocking statement. nothing that he wears is ever in trend. most of his outfits are inspired by ‘90′s fashion, but even taking that into consideration, hardly anyone ever thinks he looks good other than himself. his neon-toned bucket hats, excessively tie-dyed clothes  &  gaudy accessories result in him getting clowned a lot. it’s very obvious when he dresses himself....... probably not even allowed to pick his own airport clothes.

mcs have joked that he even manages to make expensive brands look cheap with how he styles them. kind of hurts his feelings but it’s okay. <3

he’s super into skateboarding. he didn’t start until after impulse debuted, but he’s gotten pretty good at it with how much he practices in his spare time. has a collection of unique boards  &  even has his apartment decorated with some furniture made from decks. some fans have definitely met him at skateparks before.

believes in the most outrageous conspiracies  —  say what you want, but you can’t change his mind about anything. he thinks that aliens are indeed real (and already walking the earth), he thinks that the government consists of people who are not entirely human, he thinks that there’s a huge chance that this world is only a simulation, he thinks that all cryptids are Definitely real (mothman, bigfoot, nightcrawlers, etc) and so on. i suggest not letting him get going about this because he can def sound a little crazy.

specialties: reciting quotes but always getting one word Terribly wrong, misusing and mispronouncing words, getting under everyone’s skin without even really having to try, slapstick humor and making 30 second stories feel 3 hours long.

[ofheroesandvillains]

To Catch A Ghost 2 - B.Russo

Words: 2.5k Warnings: None  Summary: You find a way in.

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading and commenting on part 1. It’s a bit of a slow start - bear with me. I did some research for this chapter and it was super underwhelming. Reader is a sniper in this story and the US military doesn't have much info on them so...creative licence and all that. The squad mentioned is not real (to my knowledge).

(Not my gif, credit to the creator!)

“He got any family? Friends?”

“Grew up in the system. Surrogate family was gunned down in broad daylight.”

“The Castles.”

You remembered hearing about that particular tragedy on the news. Your eyes travelled to the black and white photo paperclipped to Russo’s profile. They both looked like hell, covered in dirt and sweat-soaked clothes, but their smiles were blinding. 

“That’s right. Castle’s skipped town until this mess with the CIA dies down, so he shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Alright. Anyone else I should know about?”

“Curtis Hoyle. Former Navy SARC.”

“Connection?”

“They served together. Hoyle runs group therapy sessions at St. John’s for vets - sessions funded by Russo.”

---------

3 months later...

Most assumed that Billy Russo was a man of fine taste - he had enough money, good-looks, and charm to ensure that people swiftly forgot that he was the product of a broken and abusive system. That was Billy Russo the businessman, and while he took his job very seriously, that man would never be who he really was. 

Billy Russo was a soldier. A man who was happy to get his hands dirty if it meant getting the job done. And his hands had been covered in so much blood lately, he could barely recognise them. It was all worth it, of course. He’d do anything for Frank, and if that meant putting his benefactor six feet under, then he’d do it with a smile on his face. And he did. 

Thinking about Rawlins put a bad taste in his mouth. To know that he’d been reliant on the bastard responsible for tearing Frankie’s family apart, his family apart…if he could kill him again, he would.

Unfortunately, killing Rawlins had left ANVIL in a precarious position. The company had been slowly gaining a reputation, but he knew these things took time. 

Not only was his biggest investor gone, but he’d also lost a lot of Rawlins’ contacts and personnel. Recruitment was slow. Though ANVIL was kept out of the papers after all that went down with Rawlins, his employees knew about the investigation and many had jumped off what they believed was a sinking ship. His credibility had gone down and building it back up was costing him money he didn’t have.

Money he wasn’t sure he’d make without that elusive government contract he’d been chasing.  

“Goddamn it.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger. The numbers in his excel spreadsheet were starting to blur together, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take on two hours of sleep. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to see Frank. He wanted to talk to Curtis.

He wanted to do anything but what he was doing. 

--------- 

“My cover?”

“Will have to be military - Keres Squad. You have the training, and the confidentiality will allow minimal exposure when he inevitably starts snooping. I’ve called in a favour with the DoD, we’re working on making this air-tight.”

“Why does it feel like you’re turning me into a female version of Russo?”

“He’ll be more sympathetic if you share similarities. The more of himself he sees in you, the more likely he’ll be to take you on.”

“Which fortune teller told you that crap? The more we have in common, the more he’ll dig.”

Coulson’s lips twitched into a barely-there smile.

“Yes, and you’re going to let him.”

--------- 

After months of watching him, you’d come to learn that ANVIL was pretty much Billy Russo’s entire life. He worked hard, you’d give him that, but that was pretty much all he did. Some nights he’d go out and find himself a distraction, others would be spent away on a job. But there was one day each fortnight that was untouchable.

Every second Thursday would see him out of ANVIL by midday, cheque in hand, and a small smile on his face. Today was one of those days, and the wait was finally over.    

“You don’t have to do that, Ri.”

You shooed Curtis away when he tried to take the chair off your hands.

“And you don’t have to sit here listening to our crap every week, but you do. ‘Cause you’re a good guy.”

Curtis smiled wide and his eyes narrowed.

“That your roundabout way of complimenting yourself?”

“Hey, you’re the one always preaching about acknowledging the good inside each of us,” you recited with a pointed look. 

He shoved your shoulder in good humour.

“Alright, smartass.”

You smiled. Curtis was a damn good guy, one of the most likeable people you’d met so far. But damn, as soon as he considered someone a friend, or worse, his responsibility, there was no chance of getting out of some serious talking. So when you turned around after stacking the last chair, you weren’t surprised to see him studying you as he so often did. 

“Can I ask you something?” He crossed his arms, that appraising look in his eyes.

Of all the tough nuts he’d had to crack in his life, you’d been one of the toughest. He wasn’t quite sure he’d cracked you at all, to be honest.

“And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you’re here - hell, I’m proud of you. You got a good head on your shoulders.”

“So do you, Curt.” You huffed a laugh. “What’s the question?”

Curtis shrugged, and you could see his discomfort plain as day - he wasn’t one to hide his feelings. You knew there was a question he was dying to ask, one he never wanted to ask one of his people - why are you here?

Or at least a variation of it...you gave Curtis Hoyle credit, he was sharper than you thought he’d be. That was a problem for another day.

“Do these sessions help you?”

He’d never drive anyone who needed help away, and he knew better than most that some people hid their scars better than others - especially those trained to do so. 

But you were something he’d never be able to understand, not really. 

Soldiers...they were used to an enemy they could see, one they could fire at. Most of your life was spent killing ghosts stuck in the shadows - people like yourself. There came a point where feeling no longer came into question. Desensitisation was a blessing in your line of work.

You couldn’t tell Curtis that, because no matter how much it felt like it, he wasn’t your friend. He was just another person who knew the woman you were pretending to be - Sergeant Riley Jameson, Keres Squad Sniper, doesn’t talk much about what happened over there. And he was absolutely vital to your investigation. 

That didn’t mean there wasn’t truth in your answer, a truth you’d never thought to confront before. On those days you spent alone in the cabin with nothing but time, you refused to admit to yourself that maybe you missed your old life a little more than you let on.

Sometimes you hoped for a knock on the door, a familiar face to try and rope you into a familiar situation.

You might even thank Coulson for this opportunity in the end.

“I just...sometimes I miss it, y’know? I mean, yeah, some of the things I’ve done…” you shook your head. “But there’s that familiarity to it all, that routine that kinda becomes the new normal after a while - a place to belong, a family you become a part of. It never really leaves you.”

He didn’t say a word, and you were grateful. It was the first time you spoke about something like this in the month you’d been attending his sessions. You’d admit that things were easier around Curtis though. They needed to be or you’d get nowhere.

“So maybe I deal with it better, but I think I do need to be here...just to feel that familiarity without itching for a gun in my hand again, y’know?”

A beat passed where he just stared at you, and then he smiled one of the softest smiles you’d seen him wear. It looked a lot like the one Clint had given you when you’d hit your first bullseye. 

“Did that- did that make sense?”

“Absolutely.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Curtis who replied. William Russo, you recalled, had a voice like velvet. And his steps were annoyingly silent. 

Right on time.

“Well, well,” Curtis teased with a grin. “Look who it is.”

They met each other halfway, sharing genuine smiles and a hug for good measure. 

“How you doin’, man?”

“Gettin’ out of bed is a bastard, but I’m still kickin’.”

“Damn right, you are.” Russo smiled.

“Oh,” Curtis shot you an inviting smile and waved you over. “Billy Russo, meet Riley Jameson. Ri, this is that hotshot CEO I was tellin’ you about the other week.”

Billy’s brows arched. His suit was immaculate, his hair and beard groomed to perfection, and not for the first time since you started this assignment did you wonder just how someone got that lucky. 

There was a spark of recognition in his eyes when Curtis introduced you, but ‘Billy the friend’ quickly slipped back into ‘Billy the CEO’. It was one of the reasons you hated espionage - no one was ever themselves. Everyone had a different face to show each person they knew, and you didn’t have the time or patience to figure out which one was real.

Come to think of it, that was why you hated human interaction in general. 

“Well, damn. It is a small world,” Billy said with a smile.

As small as I need it to be, you thought with a smile of your own. Curtis’ gaze darted between you in a mix of curiosity and confusion.

“You two know each other?”

“In passing,” you answered. “It’s nice to see you again, Marine.”

Russo laughed, flashing those pearly whites with a contagious smile. 

“Likewise.” His smile died down and he jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m uh, I’m sorry about that, by the way. Couldn’t help but overhear…” 

You waved him off.

“It’s no problem, Mr Russo.”

“Billy, please.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and there was a sudden intensity in his dark eyes. “Y’know, if you find yourself missing it very often, you’re more than welcome to come by ANVIL and see how things work.”

“Billy,” Curtis warned. 

Billy held his hands up in surrender, lips quirking into a bashful smile. “I’m just sayin’. The offer’s always there.”

You cocked a brow. “ANVIL? That’s the security company, right?”

He seemed to perk up at your interest, and you heard Curtis sigh quietly.

“We focus on reintegrating ex-soldiers like yourself back into the world in an environment more suited to their skill set.”

“Sounds like hard work.”

“It can be,” he nodded. “But it’s worth it.” 

His lithe fingers plucked a card from the inner pocket of his suit.

“Here, feel free to call or swing by sometime. I could give you a tour of the facility.”

You took the sleek card with a nod.

“Thanks, I might take you up on that.” You smiled and looked to an unusually silent Curtis. He wasn’t quick enough to wipe the frown off his face. 

“Well, I should probably head off. I’ll see you next week, Curt.”

“Yeah, of course.” Curtis clapped a hand onto your shoulder. “Thanks again for helping out.”

“No problem. It was nice seeing you, Mr Russo.”

“And you, Miss Jameson.” He smiled politely, the words rolling off his tongue like a purr.

“Riley.” You called out from the doorway, and he responded in kind.

“Billy.”

He watched you disappear for the second time, this time with a satisfied smile. Your first encounter had left him intrigued, and he’d even admit to hoping for a second whenever he went to his little bar after a particularly rough day. It hadn’t happened, and he’d almost forgotten that one night entirely.

“Don’t even think about it, Russo,” Curtis said with an amused shake of his head.

“It’s nothing.”

Curtis rolled his eyes. Billy would have been a lot more convincing if he wasn’t still staring at the doorway. “I’m serious, man. She’d hand you your own ass on a silver platter.”

He turned his stare to Curtis with a devious smirk.

“My kind of girl then?”

Curtis glowered at him, but it only earned him a chuckle. 

“I’m just messing with you, man. After all that shit with Madani...” Billy shook his head and ignored the sympathetic look Curtis shot his way. “What’s her story, anyway?”

“Who, Riley? She doesn’t like talking about it.”

Yeah, no kidding, Billy thought. He couldn’t even get a name out of you, and it was clear that Curtis was going to respect that. 

“Nothin’ at all?”

“Look, I know that thing with Rawlins hit ANVIL hard. You need new recruits, I get that. But I don’t know about this one, man. You have no idea how hard it is to get a read on that woman. The shit she had to do...something tells me I don’t wanna know about it.”

Billy’s eyes darkened and Curtis should have known that that would be the wrong thing to say. 

“Spec Ops?”

He hesitated, and Billy could almost see the conflict play out in his head. The confidentiality between his group pitted against the trust he had in his friends. His friends would always win, and they both knew that. But something else was at play here that Billy didn’t know about.

There was a wariness in his old friend. He didn’t blame Billy for working with Rawlins, he hadn’t known about the man’s role in the death of the Castles, after all. But Billy had always wanted more. As someone who’d grown up with nothing, the prospect of having the best, of earning it and affording it, was something that fueled a lot of his choices. 

He wanted ANVIL to thrive and that meant having the best employees. He’d listened when warned about Lewis, but these were desperate times and Curtis worried about his friend’s judgement. Someone like Riley could be a great asset, but she was far too closed off to be entirely trustworthy. 

His shoulders slumped and he sighed.

“Keres Squad.” 

“No shit?” Billy’s brows arched. They’d all heard the rumours: an elite squad of female snipers. The theory was that they were easier to overlook, and physiologically more suited to the position, but the military never seemed to give that much thought. 

Curtis shook his head. “That’s all I’m saying. Just...promise me you’ll be careful.”

A genuine seriousness settled over them both and Billy nodded. “You know I will.”

Between Rawlins and Madani, he had learned a valuable lesson in trust. That was something he wouldn’t be giving away so freely. He was done with those games, the next person that came for him or for his company would be leaving in a body-bag. 

“Enough about that, it’s not why I’m here anyway.”

“If you’re offering me a job again, you can forget about that too!”

Billy laughed.

---------

“You rang?”

“Where were you?”

“Getting that therapy you keep telling me I need. Don't worry, he hasn’t found me out yet.”

“Is it done?”

“Of course. You have any news for me?”

“Stark fundraiser in Manhattan next week. I’ll have Vivian make contact. If he goes for it, it’ll give you time to bug the place.”

“Oh, he’ll go for it. He can’t afford not to.”

“Good. Keep me-”

“Updated, yeah. I got it.”

“And, Nine?”

“Yeah?”

“...be careful.”

---------

Not sure how I feel about this one.

TAGS: @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​, @sylphene​, @ariminiria​, @gollyderek​

[darker-soft-starker]

Can you do a Starker sugar daddy au where at first it’s only an arrangement to get people to stop trying to go with Tony, but eventually they both fall in love?

Sugarbaby!Peter x SugarDaddy!Tony starker au, fake/pretend relationship, misunderstandings, fluff

Peter couldn’t believe his eyes when he’d received the offer. 

At first he’d thought the very official looking Stark Industries email had been an expertly crafted fake, like those ones he sometimes gets from Paypal or whatever. It seemed too good to be true, but he’d traced it with Neds help and holy shit - it was an actual, verified email from a person at Stark Industries.

It was kind of ballsy of them, actually, answering his ad and asking for a personal meeting from their business email. What a move, clearly this person doesn’t care if their boss knows they’re looking to buy someones services. 

But whoever hhogan@starkindustries.com was, Peter was not about to turn down down the potential of a very generous offer, as it had been phrased. They were working at Stark Industries, they had to be making some kind of coin, right? Peter was just a poor guy, doing his best. 

When Peter had first put the ad up for a sugar daddy he’d been drunk and to be fair, MJ had dared him. And when he was drunk-dared by a goading MJ he can’t be blamed for his actions. So he posted it, telling the world that a sad twink needed a benefactor. He didn’t phrase it that way online, but that was essentially the vibe. 

Peter didn’t think anything of it, mostly got a couple of creeps messaging him about his profile pic, telling him how nice his mouth was and how they’d like to stuff their cocks in it. Honestly, he’d kind of forgotten all about it after the comments died down a couple of weeks later. Untll he’d received this email, that is. 

They’d made a time and a place to meet, some expensive looking restaurant in the Upper East Side, which, yikes, Peter only brave enough to order water in case the guy doesn’t want to go into an arrangement after all. He gets there and is directed to a private booth in the back, expecting to see some balding, overweight dude, lonely and looking for a bit of touch.

He doesn’t expect Tony fucking Stark himself sitting at the table, distractedly playing with his phone. Peter is so struck with confusion that when Tony looks up at him he loses higher brain function and stops moving, mouth falling open.

The man looks him up and down and cocks an eyebrow up, a smile lighting his face up. 

Peter had already prepared some things to say but what had come out of his mouth instead was:

“Mr. H. Hogan?”

Mortified, Peter had shaken himself and immediately tried to backtrack. “Wait! Wait, sorry, I know you - I mean, not, like personally or anything, obviously - I know you’re Tony Stark, everyone knows you’re Tony Stark. Who are - wait, am I in the right place?”

Tony had looked a little taken aback by his word vomit but eventually tells him yes, Peter is in the right place and that Hogan is his employee and the H stands for Happy. 

When Peter warily sits Tony explains to him over lunch and wine that he’s looking to hire someone that everyone will believe is his lover. He’s had a string of one-night stands and a handful of serious relationships, the last one ending in heartache. Then… there was everyone else. After Tonys’ last serious relationship had ended publicly it was apparently a licence for the shameless to assume his dick was hungry and up for grabs. 

It wasn’t, he said. He needed a cover.  

Tony frankly had had enough. There was no other reason, it was that simple. That’s what he’d told Peter anyway. He needed a buffer between the world and the people pawing at him.

With a flourish of his wrist Tony had provided a contract. Peter had read it over and it was simple: be where Tony wanted him to be, when he needed him to be, and dressed the part - and be exclusive - and Peter would be provided with a monthly compensation - along with bonuses.

With his rent six weeks behind Peter could barely refuse, eyes bulging at the figure. A monthly allowance of $5000, a driver service, all the bells and whistles. He’d signed the damn thing before he could even consider the consequences.

And at first, there were none. Tony took him to events, dressing Peter up in fine, expensive suits and parading him around on his arm. Peter got to drink pricey champagne and rub shoulders with the elite who cooed over their budding “relationship”. Tony took him out to dinner, out to shows, to the baseball, to functions. It was fun meeting new people and nice being spoiled for once.

However uncomfortable it made him to be in the public eye, the paparazzi got pictures of Peter and Tony looking utterly wrapped up in each other - holding hands, sharing kisses, looking adequately in love - and Peter got paid enough to start making a dent in his student loans. 

He kinda hadn’t expected Tony to be all that… likeable to be honest, when he’d signed the contract. He’d heard of the mans arrogance, of his snarky attitude. Going off their first meeting he’d thought they guy would be, like, tolerable at the very least, even if Peter had always admired his work from an outside perspective.

Turns out Peter was wrong. Like, really wrong. 

Because it turns out that Tony is… kind of amazing. The guy is smart and charming and a genuine fucking nerd. He’s generous (nearly to a fault) and tries to hide it. Don’t get Peter wrong, Tony is also a little asshole who drinks too much and works even more - but he’s such a good guy. He always makes sure Peter is comfortable with whatever they do, even if it’s holding hands, he tips waiters handsomely and lets Peter tinker around in his personal lab. He gives to charity, makes sure his employees get leave and bonuses and pays them deservingly, he’s progressive and treats Peter like a human being.

It’s not like Peter is in love with him or anything. He’s just super fond of the guy.

MJ rails him for it ad nauseum, telling him he’s getting too close, that he should remember he is an employee who, as stated in the contract, can be terminated at any time. 

Peter does remember, and if nothing else, it makes him value what time he does have with Tony. Makes him take his studies more seriously, never knowing when his funds are going to dry up. For an ad he placed while super drunk, it’s kind of the best thing that’s ever happened to him. 

He’s fond of the guy, so what? It’s fine.

One day he and Tony are out for lunch at some rooftop diner. Tony is talking about working on one of his latest inventions, some kind of medical tech. He seems really passionate about it, talking about it at length with such fervent enthusiasm and Peter sits there, captivated, nodding and listening, the food between them forgotten. He thinks he’s just being attentive and the topic is interesting.

But then a ray of sunlight hits Tony’s eyes in a way that make them look like whiskey and Peter’s stomach does a weird swoop and his heart tingles. 

Oh shit, he thinks.

Oh shit indeed.

It’s fine, Peter says to himself, multiple times a day. He’s had infatuations before - most never reciprocated - so, what’s the big deal? He’ll just ignore this one too.

Except… it’s hard. It’s hard to tell yourself not to feel romantically about a person when you get to kiss them and hug them and be by their side. Even if it’s only because he’s getting paid for it. 

But it was also clear that it was only an arrangement for Tony and that he didn’t feel anything beyond reluctant fondness for Peter. He never touched Peter when they were alone except for some almost fatherly shoulder pats, he never initiated any displays of affection unless he knew they were being photographed, didn’t ever seem as hopelessly enamoured with Peter in the same way Peter seemed to become with Tony.

Peter finds himself pulling away just a little bit all the same, giving more and more reasons to not meet up with Tony - because as much as it makes him happy to be around the man, it begins to make his heart hurt a little more every time they’re together, every time Tony brushes his lips against his, places a hand at the small of Peter’s back, knowing it’s only for show. It was great before, when Peter didn’t feel like this - but the knowledge that the guy he had feelings for only kissed him because he was paying Peter to be his fake boyfriend made him feel kind of gross.

It’s fine.

It’s fine, he tells himself, over and over. It’s fine, he thinks, when one day Tony is photographed with a strawberry blonde, a series of shots showing them arm in arm, Tony’s smiling fondly in a way he never did with Peter as she kisses Tony’s cheek. The headlines and the tags refer to Tony as a playboy and about his boytoy being dumped, about being back together with his ‘old flame’.

They look good together, Peter concedes, even if it feels like his chest is caving in and like he’s going to throw up. He just wishes Tony had told him beforehand that he was done with him. Setting his phone down on the bed, Peter stares out into his room listlessly and tries to process the fact that it’s over, but all he sees is the way that Tony has infiltrated his life. The laptop on his desk, a gift from Tony, the watch on his wrist, the jeans on the floor, the signed Reyes baseball on his shelf, all gifts from Tony. Even the phone he saw the pictures on was  given to him by Tony. It makes Peter feel wrong in his gut to have touches of the man in his personal intimate space when the guy didn’t even have the courtesy to give him the heads up that he was about to be publicly ‘dumped’ and humiliated.

He returns everything.

Tony must receive the hastily wrapped package with all of his spoils because he tries to call him the following day, Peter’s old cracked phone blinking to life. He ignores it and hangs out with Ned and MJ, wishing he lived closer to May so she could give him one of her healing hugs. His friends commiserate and help him get utterly fucking wasted that weekend, even as they call him a fucking dumbass. 

He wakes up on Sunday with a hangover and eighteen missed calls from Tony. The calls are followed by a series of texts, the contents going from confused, to concerned to downright stern and then concerned again. 

As he’s making himself breakfast and a coffee there is a knock on his door. When he opens it he sees a furious looking Tony, the bulging parcel that Peter had sent him under his arm.

“Oh, so you are alive,” Tony drawls, shouldering his way into Peter’s apartment. 

Peter curses his stomach for the butterflies when Tony brushes against him to get inside, telling himself to stop feeling anything as he closes the door behind them. 

“Mr. Stark - “

“What’s this about?” Tony says, setting the parcel on Peters tiny kitchen table and leaning against his counter. “Is this you returning my hoodies and CD’s? I mean in this case it’s a six-thousand dollar watch and jeans I’ll never fit into, but you get the gist.”

Peter leans against the opposite counter, mirroring Tony’s folded arms. He nods to the items and says, “I only thought it was appropriate, you know, considering.”

“Considering what, Petey?” Tony says, his face perplexed, even behind his shades. “You gotta fill me in, you know, communicate. What are we considering? If you were considering terminating your contract you should have just said so.”

Peter looks at him, narrowing is eyes. “Considering that you are with someone else and don’t need me anymore…? It’s fine, Tony, I just would have appreciated a heads up, is all.”

“I’m what?” Tony says, looking like his brain is doing a hard reset. “I’m what with who now?”

“The strawberry blonde? Paprika?”

“Pepper,” Tony corrects faintly.

“Pepper! That’s it. Her. Anyway, congrats, You uh, look great together.”

Tony tilts his head and considers Peter, the intensity of his stare making him squirm. 

“So, let me wrap this all up in a nice, little bundle and you tell me if I have it right, okay? You see some news article, think I’m seeing Pepper, so you decide to send back everything I ever bought you and not answer any of my calls. Is that it?”

Peter nods, tries to ignore his stupid heart trying to beat itself out of his chest to get to Tony.

“Yeah, that’s - that’s it. I mean, thank you for everything, Tony. It just doesn’t seem right to keep any of it.”

“Why?” Tony asks, stepping closer to Peter and pocketing his shades. “They’re yours, I want you to have them.”

Peter determinedly avoids the mans gaze by looking down at his feet, tapping one against the tiles. “It’s just not right. It doesn’t matter.”

“Look at me,” Tony says, and when Peter tilts his head up the man is a lot closer. “I’m not with Pepper, we’re just friends. You shouldn’t believe everything you read.”

“Oh.”

“And I would have appreciated you asking me before losing my number.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Peter repeats, rubbing at the ache in his chest with his hand. “I’m sorry, I should have asked, you’re right.”

“So… does that mean you’ll take your stuff back and answer my calls again? Maybe join me in Florence next weekend? I know a great place you’d like.”

The small, almost imperceptible hope in Tony’s voice makes Peter’s throat go tight as his stomach drops with what he’s about to say. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Stark. I don’t think we should do this - I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Tony frowns and steps even closer. “Is it about the press? I can shut down every single one of those if you give me, like an hour tops, maybe two if I have to buy out Murdoch as well.”

“It’s not the press.”

“Then what is it? What, are you bored?”

Peter shakes his head.

“Then what is it?”

“Don’t make me say it,” Peter whispers, looking down at his feet again as his eyes start to prickle. 

“Peter, if you’re leaving me out in the cold after six months that’s your choice, but I gotta know why.”

“It’s just,” he begins. “It’s - I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. I can’t handle feeling like this about you when everything you feel about me is in a contract. It’s not right for me to be in love with you when I’m being employed to pretend that I am.”

“You’re in love with me,” Tony says.

“I’m sorry, I know I wasn’t supposed to - “

Anything else he was going to say is cut off when Tony bridges the distance between them and presses his lips to Peters in a soft kiss. 

“Well thank god,” Tony says. “Otherwise that would have made my feelings for you kind of awkward.”

“Your…huh?”

“I probably should have fired you the moment I fell for you? I don’t know, the logistics are kind of weird, but we both know I’m selfish and a little morally bankrupt, so. I didn’t. But you fired yourself anyway.”

“Huh?” Peter says again, a little dazed by the turn of events. “Am I still asleep? Did you say you have feelings for me?”

“Okay, you are not a morning person,” Tony says, taking one of Peter’s hands and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss it. “Yes. It’s kind of embarrassing but apparently you love me too, so, I guess we’re both losers.”

The burst in his heart propels him forward to kiss Tony again, wrapping his arms around the mans neck. 

“So,” Tony prompts when they pull apart some time later, breathless. “Florence, yes or no?”

“Yes, but no more payments.”

A kiss.

“Fine. But I still get to buy you things.”

Another kiss.

“… fine.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Loser.”

[adobe-outdesign]

The Big Grand DCTL Review/Critique

In my previous liveblog I said that I’d do an overall review/rating kind of thing to summarize my thoughts on the book, so here you go.

No Spoilers: So I’ll preface by saying the book isn’t bad. It has it’s... moments, but it’s pretty enjoyable overall. The FNAF books, for example, were fun to read but they were also a hot fucking mess. This is not a hot fucking mess  - it has its flaws but it’s pretty decent over all.

Spoilers below the cut:

The Canon-ness of the Book

I would like to say first off that I really don’t think this book is meant to be 100% canon - not to say it isn’t canon, but I don’t think it’s supposed to lie up with the games perfectly.  It was approved of by Kindlybeast, but they didn’t write it - Adrienne Kress did, they just helped to develop it.

To explain better: There are a lot of contradictions in this book with the main lore. Some are more minor and could potentially be waved away, but others are extremely glaring. Here’s a short list of the ones that come to mind:

In the book, the Ink Machine is secret and almost no one knows about it. In the game everyone knows and actively complains about the machine on a daily basis. In the Employee Handbook, there’s even a memo from Joey proudly introducing the Machine to everyone.

The book claims you put ink into the Machine and it changes it in some way (effectively running on ink). In the game, it seems to produce ink itself - Joey’s memo kind of indicates this, as does the blueprints, and Wally’s “who really needs that much ink anyway” makes less sense if they’re putting ink into the machine rather than it making the ink.

Plus on Thomas’ board he has a list of the gallons of ink produced each day, with the highest amount written with exclamation points - if it ran on ink this doesn't make sense, as to get 423 gallons of ink he would’ve had to have put 423 gallons of ink into the thing to begin with.

Sammy is wildly OOC in this, as he’s basically a feral asshole throughout the thing, while in canon his merch description calls him a “decent person” and he generally seems agreeable most of the time, except for when he’s annoyed. The book even claims he doesn’t refer to women by their last names, while Susie’s tape tells us the exact opposite (as according to her he referred to Allison as “Miss Allison Pendle”).

Bertrum is also OOC in this - in canon, he’s extremely egotistical and hates Joey for multiple reasons. In the book, they’re buddies (even hugging each other) and Bertrum seems more humble. He doesn’t even correct Joey on calling him “Bertie”, when he had an entire tape about how much he dislikes being called that in the game.

The timeline for this part is also very wrong - it’s treated as if they just met (which could explain why Bertrum doesn’t dislike him yet)... but Bendyland was in progress for years before the studio went to hell, and he even has his BATDR tape (wherein he’s actively disliking Joey) dated years before this book takes place.

This also makes it kind of impossible for him to be the octopus ride like in canon, because he literally just joined the studio when Joey started killing people (and keep in mind that designing and building a ride like that would have taken at least a year or two).

The ink is, for some reason, somewhat alive, able to move around on it’s own and possess people. This was never indicated in the game, ever.

Buddy wakes up as Boris. In the game, stuff like Grant’s tape indicate the ink creatures wake up and then transform (the files even have an unused transformation tape from Wally, who’s likely our Boris). You can kind of headcanon around this one if you try though.

At the end, Norman and a few background characters die. Joey says he didn’t use the machine on them because they had been infected by the ink for too long and didn’t have souls any more. This means that, according to the book, The Projectionist cannot exist (as Norman wouldn’t have had a soul to use and Joey outright says he couldn’t/didn’t use the machine on them in the first place).

Some of these are pretty minor, but some of them are extremely glaring and even casual gamers would pick up on this stuff.

Basically, we have two options: Either Kindlybeast doesn’t know their own story/characters too well, or they didn’t require this to line up perfectly with the games. Except the first option doesn’t make sense, because they’ve recently published stuff that contradicts what’s said in this book in favor of matching the actual lore from the games, proving they do know their own story.

For ampel, Bertrum’s BATDR tape, which lines up with the game’s lore and corrects the mistakes in DCTL, was released in March - long after this book was in production. The thing about the Ink Machine being secret was also disproved in the recently-released Handbook, which instead says they employees do know about the Machine, just like they do in the game. So Kindlybeast do know these things don’t line up with canon.

I think basically they approached Adrienne and were like “hey, can you write a prequel novel based on our game?” and while they offered her some guidance, she mostly just did her own thing based off of it (she even said it felt like working on fanfiction while writing it) and Kindlybeast liked it and published it. It’s an adaptation of the game and its lore, done by a new person - things tend to change in adaptations. I don’t think they needed or cared if it lined up like puzzle pieces, they just wanted a good story, which they got. It is canon... but it’s also not, if that makes sense.

So for our intents and purposes I’d consider this semi-canon - take what you can as canon (which is most of it, as the most major contradictions also tend to be the shortest scenes) and ignore the stuff that doesn’t line up with canon, unless otherwise stated by Kindlybeast or confirmed in BATDR.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Overall, I’d say this book is about 70% good and 30% bad. When it is good, it is really, really damn good - but when it’s bad it leaves an awful taste in your mouth that’s hard to get rid of.

The Good:

Like... the majority of the book, really

Buddy and Dot are wonderful characters with strong personalities. They’re super likeable, bring some much-needed heart into things, and have great chemistry.

While some of the aforementioned characters are majorly OOC, the ones that are in-character (Joey and Norman are good examples) are amazing - every scene with them is gold and the book really fleshes out their personalities.

Some of the new lore tidbits are great, and help explain some things in the game (like how Lost Ones are created) or are just interesting (like Sammy drinking the ink and the idea of the ink being able to infect people, which sounds like something that could have directly come from the games).

The book goes into way more depth about what being a cartoon/ink creature is like, which is some much-needed exposition and is extremely interesting.

It also has a ton of heart and good intentions. I was worried about it being overly dark, but if anything it has far more sweet moments than depressing ones.

The Bad:

The contradictions I mentioned above. Some of them are easy enough to ignore, but some are incredibly jarring and take you out of the story (and make it impossible to take it as 100% canon without breaking the space-time continuum).

I kind of mentioned it above, but the stuff with the ink being alive and possessing people comes right the fuck out of nowhere, has nothing to do with the game lore, is completely tonally dissonant to BATIM as a whole, and literally has nothing to do with the plot of the book, like, at all. It feels like a few pages from a Venom novel got mixed in with the early draft and no one remembered to remove them before publication.

The racist shit - it’s only like 1% of the book, but when that 1% of the book ruins a really good character it’s a pretty big deal.

A random NPC dies for no reason and this death has more relevance to the plot than Norman, who dies off-screen.

Also consider: They could’ve found Norman first, Buddy runs off to get back to his house, Norman follows and gets killed via neck snap. Fixes both problems at once.

There’s very little tension during the horror moments because we already know Buddy will die but not until the end and that Dot will live.

The Ink Demon acts more like an xenomorph than the Ink Demon in this - his behavior is bizarre and it feels pretty generically horror movie monster-ish compared to how he acts in the game.

The Ugly:

The B-plot with Buddy’s grandfather should have been cut. I know that sounds harsh, but really think about it: what effect did it have on the plot? It only crosses with the A-plot twice, and both times nothing came out of it. It gives Buddy a chance to learn how to draw and he goes through some character development, but I find it hard to believe that couldn’t have been accomplished by expanding the A-plot.

The main problem is that A) this is a BATIM novel so we want to see the studio, not Buddy’s relatives at home, and B) it makes it kind of slow towards the middle, wherein the stuff with the studio barely progresses while we keep cutting back to the B-plot.

I didn’t dislike reading it or anything, but it makes the plot flabby, and slicing it out would’ve given us much more time in the studio and the characters we like rather than trying to juggle two plots at once, effectively streamlining it and making for a more cohesive story.

The ending (like the last 5 chapters) is a hot mess in multiple and varying ways:

Sammy shows up and... gets knocked out by a projector. Which is funny, but it amounts to nothing plot-wise and makes Sammy’s whole appearance kind of pointless

Killing off a bunch of characters, one of which was a main character, off-screen

The weird Venom shit that has nothing to do with the plot of the books or the games and amounts to nothing

Bendy acting fairly OOC, especially with how he goes about killing people 

Buddy grabs the idiot ball bard by trying to drown a creature made of ink in ink, then standing right near the spot so he can be grabbed and killed

Not only does the “can’t use them because they had been infected for too long and no longer had souls” thing not only raises the aforementioned plot hole with the Projectionist, but it raises a plot hole in the book itself: When the other are exposed to the ink they die, but when Sammy drinks the stuff he turns into a Lost One. Which one is it?

Keep in mind that that was more bullet points in those 30-some pages than I have for the entire rest of the book

There are only like... two actual horror scenes in the book, and one of those is the climax. While it makes sense that too much couldn’t have happened before the ending, it feels like there could have been more than that.

Not all of the characters from the games appear. I know it’s a tall ask but it’s also easy to see how they could have been integrated, and some of them could have easily taken the roles that were given to NPCs instead.

I feel like this book would be more engaging as a non-fan, as the plot tends to progress like a mystery, with you learning a bit more about what’s happening with every scene in the studio... except as a fan you already know what’s happening, so there’s little to keep you engaged until you get into that nice juicy lore at the end.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s lots of little details that tell us new info and the character interactions are great, but a lot of the scenes are just like “Surprise, Sammy is crazy!” and it’s like thanks, we already knew that. The mystery is supposed to build and move the plot forward, but there’s effectively no mystery.

Overall Rating

I’m worried this review is going to come across as overly negative, as it’s much easier to critique what’s wrong than it is to say “this part was good!” like 200 times. But all of the stuff I was talking about that’s an issue? That’s like... 30% of the book, maybe less. Some of the most problematic scenes you could literally remove and loose nothing plot-wise (which is frustrating but you know). The bulk of the book is very good, the lore stuff when handled correctly is amazing and it even provides some extra answers that we didn’t have before, and the characters are great.

Overall, I’d give the book a solid... 7/10, I think. Not perfect, but pretty damn decent all around. If you’re a fan, I’d highly recommend picking up a copy if you haven't already.

[haledamage]

Sunshine and Starlight

my first @shepherds-of-haven fic!

I have been blindsided by Iorwen/Chase as a pairing. I adore Chase, but I thought these two wouldn’t work romantically. I literally made a second girl with the intention of romancing Chase, but Iorwen had other plans and called dibs. This scene appeared in my mind so suddenly and vividly that I knew it wouldn’t let me have any peace until I wrote it :) I don’t mind because it turns out they’re adorable together! who’d’ve known

takes place sometime between returning from the Reach and leaving for the next mission, but there aren’t really any mentioned spoilers, so if you don’t have access to the alpha it won’t be a problem

----

Late at night, the skies above Haven were endless.

Even with the light pollution from the lanterns below, the stars were bright and abundant, twinkling merrily in the clear winter night. They weren’t much different from the stars Iorwen grew up with, that she used to watch with her mother a lifetime ago.

She sat on the corner of the battlements around the Shepherd’s compound, far enough out that the guard patrols couldn't disturb her. The dingy white city stretched out below her, the dark abyss of stars flowing above, and she let the peace of the night settle around her like an old friend.

The night sky wasn’t the only thing to join her on the wall. After a while, she became aware of a presence at her side. Though she hadn’t heard anyone approach, she knew who it was as soon as she realized he was there. “Hello, Chase.”

“Good evening, sunshine,” he said jovially. His boots tap-tap-tapped a rhythm as he kicked absentmindedly at the wall beneath them, a sudden wealth of noise and energy where just moments ago he’d been completely silent. “Thought I’d find you up here.”

She turned her gaze away from the sky to meet the bright green eyes of the man at her side. “You did?”

“No.” He shrugged. “But I looked everywhere else.”

“Well, here I am.” She gestured to herself with a little flourish. “Why were you looking for me?”

“Oh, you know. This and that,” Chase said vaguely. He studied her face in silence for a moment, though Iorwen had no idea what he might be looking for. In a surprisingly soft voice, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” At his doubtful look, she added, “Really. I’m just… thinking.” She pulled her knees up to her chest as if it would help force the words past the knot in her throat. It had been a long time since she’d talked to anyone about her past, but these days it seemed to be all she talked about. “About my mother. Today would have been her birthday. She died when I was ten.”

He was quiet for a long time, either because he didn't know what to say or because he was waiting to see if she was done. Probably the latter; she'd never known Chase to be at loss for words. Finally he just said, "I’m sorry."

She shook her head. "Thanks, but it was a long time ago." Iorwen's eyes were drawn back heavensward. "I wonder what she would think of my being here. Being a Shepherd. She used to tell me I was meant for greatness." She pitched her voice lower, imitating her mother's voice, accent dropping back into the one she'd had as a child. "‘Someday, starlight, you’re gonna change the world. The gods themselves are gonna see how bright you shine.’"

"Starlight?"

"Yep," she said fondly. "Mom loved her celestial-themed pet names. Had a whole collection of them."

"Like ‘sunshine’?" There was something in his voice almost like jealousy. Like he'd never considered that his nickname for her might not be original.

She found his possessiveness strangely charming; she liked that he wanted them to have something that was just theirs. "No. More moon-and-star themed, mostly. ‘Sunshine’ is all yours." Iorwen bit her lip and added, a little hesitantly, "Though what you said when I asked you about it… may have hit a little close to home."

"In a bad way?"

"No."

She could feel Chase's eyes on her, but she kept hers resolutely pointed at the stars. She knew she would say something dumb and probably overly sentimental if she looked his way.

He caught the dropped conversation before it could fall, not giving the quiet a chance to wedge its way between them. "Well, my opinion may not be worth much--"

"It is to me," she interrupted quietly. Apparently keeping her eyes to herself wasn't enough to keep the affectionate comments at bay.

His breath hitched the slightest bit, only audible in the otherwise silent night, but he kept talking like she hadn't said anything. "--but I think she’d be proud of you. I don’t see how she couldn’t be."

She wanted to hug him, but didn't want to risk making him uncomfortable, so instead she settled for nudging his shoulder with her own. He leaned into the contact immediately, pressing his side to hers.

She was fairly certain she's blushing. Probably, it was too dark for him to see it. Part of her wished it wasn't; she liked the sly grin he gave her when he made her blush. "I think she would have liked you."

"Of course she would. I'm very likeable." It's flippant, almost dismissive, cutting off any potential compliment she may have given him before she had a chance to give it. He's deflecting, she knew he was, putting up walls before she could sneak any closer. Maybe he'd already let her closer than he meant to.

She was used to it. Everyone in the Shepherds seemed to have walls of their own. Some, like Blade, built fortresses of steel and ice to guard their secrets; others, like Trouble, it was more like a hedgerow, meant to disguise from prying eyes but not to keep away visitors.

With Chase, it was more like tinted glass, concealed but still tantalizingly transparent. He gave her just enough of a glimpse past the wall to draw her closer, to leave her wanting more.

Iorwen didn't let it get to her. She was a patient woman. She didn't push.

Instead, she gave him the subject change he wanted. "You never did say why you were looking for me."

“Yes! I almost forgot,” he said, so clearly a lie that even she could hear it, “I brought you something.”

With an overly dramatic flourish, he pulled a small box out of some hidden pocket and presented it to her. She took it gingerly, unsure what to expect. It was a very fancy wooden box painted with what must be thousands of tiny, pale blue and lavender flowers. It was light enough that it could be empty, but she knew he wasn’t the kind of man to give empty boxes as presents, even very pretty empty boxes, so she carefully opened the lid.

Inside was a neat row of small, white paper bags. Iorwen knew what it was even before the scent of apricot hit her nose, before Chase said, voice sweet and more than a little smug, “I found some more of that tea you like. Heard you telling Tallys you were out.”

‘Out’ was something of an understatement. Some scarcity issues in the west meant even Riel had been having trouble getting ahold of it for less than a small fortune. “Where did you find this?” she asked, awed, but remembered who she was talking to and quickly added, “No, nevermind. I don’t need to know. You didn’t have to--”

“I know I didn’t.” He ruffled her hair affectionately, his hand lingering on the crown of her head. “Happy birthday.”

She closed the box and slipped it into one of her pockets, not wanting to risk dropping it from this height. “It’s not my birthday.”

“I know. It was a couple of sennights ago, right? I know it’s kind of a touchy subject,” he waved a hand as if to clear away the pain that she associated with her birthday before it could land, “so I figured I’d wait.”

Iorwen finally gave in to that hug she’d wanted to give him earlier. He hugged her back without hesitation, arms tight around her as if to stop her from pulling away too soon - as if she had any intention of doing so. “Thank you, Chase,” she whispered in his ear.

“Anytime, sunshine,” he murmured back. “Anytime.”

It would be dangerously easy to get lost in the warmth of him, even more dangerous because she knew he’d let her. His amber and leather scent was equal parts comforting and enticing, and she realized abruptly that the soft fabric she pressed her face into was the scarf she’d given him for his birthday. It still carried a hint of honeysuckle from the oils she used in her hair. She wondered if he ever noticed, if it made him think of her; she bit the inside of her cheek to stop from asking.

Iorwen pulled away before her mind could continue wandering down that path. Chase let her go easily enough, though she could feel the slightest tension in his arms that said maybe he didn’t want to. She tried not to be smug about it.

He didn’t give her time to be. Without another word, he hopped off the wall and turned to offer her an elbow, like he was some fancy nobleman wanting to take her for a walk in the garden. “We should head back inside. I don’t fancy being lectured for letting you catch a cold. C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink.”

She slid down from the wall next to him, feeling graceless and clumsy in comparison though she knew she was neither. “I don’t drink.”

“And?”

“And neither do you.” She tried to keep her voice serious, but couldn’t stop the playful smile spreading across her face. “Also this is technically my house.”

Chase shrugged. “Semantics. We’ll improvise. Unless you’re not interested…?” There was a subtle challenge in his words and a much less subtle one in the quirk of his eyebrow and the tilt of his lips. They both knew just how interested she was; he wanted to see if she’d admit it.

“I didn’t say that.” She laced her arm through his and was rewarded with a bright grin. “Lead the way.”

It was a short walk down from the battlements into the compound itself, but on some unspoken agreement they turned and took the long way. And if they both walked a little slower than they normally would have, well, that was between them and the stars.

[ourkarlanicoleuniverse]

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 7

Warnings: None, swf. 

Hope you enjoy!

I stared at the little green haired boy as he looked at me with pleading eyes. What exactly does he want me to tell me about how I know all the All Might and All For One-One For All debacle?

"Well, I can't really explain how All Might was as a mentor. All I can say is that he was like a father figure for me while I worked with him. A lot of my older interviews actually asked me how it was working under him and I explained it better then." I moved my hair behind my ear as I averted my eyes from his. "But I was wondering if you had extra information about his quirk that others might not know." He clenched his fists harder.

"I only know as much as you do, Midoriya. Well, actually no. Did All Might mention that I can't use his quirk?" I looked at the student, noticing he looked clueless about the whole thing. I sighed, "I guess not. Well, now you know. So if you need me to train you or give you tips on how to use One For All that Toshinori isn't telling you, I can't be the person for it."

"Why can't your quirk work on him?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know. I assume it's because how it can only be transferred through DNA and consent. I would be taking it solely through touching and without Toshinori wanting me too." Should I tell him about the time I met Toshinori? Nah, I'll let Toshinori tell that story. "But it doesn't really matter since my quirk works like his anyway." I shrugged.

"Could you maybe help me find a way to not injure myself when I use One For All? Especially with the Sports Festival coming up." His face was written in worry.

"Doesn't Toshinori tell you how much of your quirk you should be using?" He nodded yes, "Do you listen to him?" He nodded no. "Well, maybe start with that. And maybe if that doesn't work while you prepare for the festival, come find me and I'll train with you." I gave him a warm smile and put a hand on his shoulder. "Toshinori chose you for a reason, I have to trust that. Plus, Aizawa and I have talked about how much potential you hold. So, I don't mind helping you."

The boy's face brightened with glee and he hugged me, "Thank you so much, Ms. Montoya."

I chuckled, "I'm happy to help. Please don't push yourself too hard. Just because you're the new holder on One For All doesn't mean you have to stress yourself out too much. Now get back to class before Ms. Midnight gets worried." The boy quickly nodded and bowed and rushed back to class. I'm glad I didn't have to go into my whole backstory with All Might to him, that could wait until it becomes important.

I made my way back to the lounge to finish my work as Aizawa limped out. I gave him a quick wave and told him to be careful as he grunted and nodded back. Love how he can be a teddy bear when we're alone in the hospital or when we're at his apartment but when at work he's back to being a rude butthead. As I got into my desk I noticed Snipe was already gone, and Iris was waiting patiently for me with her lunch.

Her and I exchanged smiles, "Oh so now it's time to get you to myself?"

"What? I've been busy teaching young heroes, you know?" She held her hands up in defense, "To be fair, though, these kids aren't taking World Hero History that serious." She pouted. " I finally got to catch up with Aizawa for a little bit before he left. Should I be worried that he's working instead of resting?"

I groaned, "Don't get me started. I was telling Hound Dog that we argued nonstop about it. Clearly, I lost the argument." I sat down next to her and grabbed a gyoza from her plate, "He's so stubborn. Remember when he wasn't? Like if I showed some concern, he used to actually consider it."

"He's not a lovesick sixteen-year-old anymore, that's why." She looked at me, amused, "But I can tell that he still takes your input into consideration about other things."

"Like what? The students? He kind of has to." I gave a whole hearted laugh. "And I know that he's not like how he was at sixteen. We all kind of changed since then. He just grew worse since then."

She picked at her lunch, "I don't think so. You guys just have to be patient with each other. Especially right now since he's probably all grumpy about his injuries." She gave me a small smile, "You guys are both stubborn and independent. It's hard to adjust to having people look after you."

I huffed, "Here I am, the counselor being counseled."

She let out a chuckle, "Well, even therapists have their own therapists."

"I just wished it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable to be working with him. But I guess it's what we get for having unresolved issues."

"Over time, I'm sure you both will be okay. Like I said, be patient."

"Patience. Not either of our virtues." I finished typing and emailed it to the copying department. "Done. Now, on to a quick lunch and then stop by the class to talk about the Sports Festival." I proudly smiled.

"I really like your class. Lily's aren't as interesting. Except for Monoma." Iris took a sip of her water and handed me my bag with my lunch in it.

"Oh yeah, she and Vlad told me about him. Both had very different ways to word out their opinions though." I laughed, "Lily was telling me if he was going to become a villain that his origin story would be not being able to beat Class 1-A at being better students and future heroes."

"And Vlad?"

"He said that Monoma was a very determined student, but that he needed to find a different way to motivate himself." I smirked.

Iris scrunched her nose up before laughing, "Of course that's what he said."

I stuffed my chicken caesar salad in my face, "So far, all the other teachers pretty much said that he's likeable when he doesn't open his mouth. I kind of feel bad that he got stuck with Lily and vice versa."

"Same here. Have you gotten any update on your license?" Iris asked.

"No, not really. So far, information from the case hasn't broken out either. The U.S really only focused on the allegations and how my side of the case lost. Aside from that, the court, the agency, even Gemini, have all kept their mouths shut about the case." I let out a small sigh, "I'm actually pretty relieved about that."

"I don't get why it matters, you already have your license suspended."

"I just don't want the American people to turn on me because of the evidence used against my testimony. If that happens, then there's no chance I'll get my suspension lifted." I looked down. I wasn't ashamed of the events, I just didn't want it all to be twisted in front of citizens, in front of my students. It was already hard enough to be shamed in court. I didn't need a whole country to do it.

I felt a hand on my knee. Iris looked at me with her ocean eyes, "I don't think the news would try and twist it around and make that man look like a victim. The American press loves you. And so do the American people. You and your coworkers were speaking out. They would see that if anything came out."

I gave her a solemn look, "I forget you read minds."

"It's because my quirk is record-keeping for the most part. It makes people forget how I can get my information." She gave my knee a little squeeze. "Does anyone else know about the details of the case?"

"The staff just know the general information. But I kept it mostly vague, anyone who knows details about it is just Lily mainly. Nezu and All Might know of course. Aizawa also knows, but that's because I told him one of the times my agency had to work with his years ago." I brushed through the information.

"Why did you tell him if you guys weren't talking during that time?" She scrunched her eyebrows.

"It's complicated. Things happened during the mission that I had to explain what happened. It was the mission after Captain Celebrity got his license back and Marga, Aaron, and Gemini had to assist him with a case he was on." I said taking another bite.

"The same mission where you had to deal with not only the mafia in Japan but their allies back in the U.S.?" I nodded a yes in response. "Ohhhhh, yeah, I remember you telling me how that mission was. Now it makes sense why it might've came up between you two."

"Why are you letting someone lower than you talk down to you?" His hair grew longer and flew in the wind as we were standing by the ocean. He was still wearing his hero suit but without his capture weapon. Personally, to me, the moonlight cascaded on his features beautifully, as if the moon wanted him to look like an angel. It was pissing me off.

"Why do you care?" I snapped, "You haven't spoken to me in seven years. I've tried texting, email, even calling when I knew it was a reasonable time in Japan. But you never answered. Never replied. After a while, a girl gets a hint that her friend doesn't care about her anymore." I folded my arm hugging the white cardigan I changed into closer to my body as the breeze blew colder air.

"I did... I do care. It was just a hard time for me to talk to you during the first year you were gone." He averted his grey eyes away from my brown ones. There was a tint of blush on his cheeks. And his eyes were filled with regret. "I wasn't really in the right state of mind, I didn't want that to be a burden."

I glared at him, "Burden? When have you ever been a burden for me? Did you think I was perfectly okay during that year? Why else would I have tried to stay in contact with you?" I stood taller, feeling tears brim my eyes, "I needed a little piece of home while I was away, whether it be you venting to me about your problems or talking about cats. When I needed you, you weren't there, and now you're judging me for the way I act with my colleagues when you don't even know why."

There was a pause. He looked back at me and searched my face. His eyes were red, but it wasn't from his dry eye. Tears were threatening to fall from both of our eyes. We just stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity until Aizawa's venomous tone pierced through it. "What did that bastard do to you?"

I blinked a little coming back into my thoughts, "Yeah, so he knows. But when I told him I told him to not bother trying to patch things up between us because he felt bad. If we were meant to be friends again, I wanted it to be organic, not out of pity and regret. Which is why we barely talked afterwards and was a little awkward between us." I grinned, "But we're getting there as you said."

Iris just hummed and nodded in response. "That would explain why he thinks more highly of you." She commented as she gathered up her mess and threw it away in the trash. I just looked at her confused mainly. I'm not surprised if Aizawa thought highly of me, just surprised that he would so freely voice it out. Maybe it was because it was Iris. We were all very open to her since high school. She smiled back at me, "I have to get going, I have to teach Class 1-B now that they're done with Mic's class. I'm happy to see you and Aizawa managed to start patching things up, it looks like you both needed it."

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