#but alas i can only write
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alizalayne · 4 months ago
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it's so amusing that when you're an author who is like any minority, you have this caveat where if your book gets banned, you kinda have to mentally acknowledge whether it was banned by Bruce, the one really bigoted guy who wastes everyone's time in florida. idk how bruce is doing. you don't need to learn who he is really which is why im not using his surname. but if you have a book out commercially, bruce has probably written "damaged souls" on a form about you. so there's a street cred element to all this like did people really have a vendetta against your work...? or was it just bruce again
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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hyacinthsdiamonds · 4 months ago
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I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#like niki lauda had to try multiple times to literally parent trap them to try and get them on speaking terms it never worked#because one would arrive they'd see the other and the other would leave#& if i remember correctly the garage crew would swap around from race to race as a like see we aren't favouring anybody gesture 😭#and thats no shade to nico because it was both of them contributing to that environment#his comment re max is just making me laugh#like if i was a part of the pr/media team - which is a part of the degree I'm working on irl - at merc that year i would've lost the plot#like its insane reflecting on it nearly a decade later but the poor souls just trying to do their job in the eye of that storm#truly gods strongest soldiers#ngl the professional comment irks me a bit because its not like max is engaging in inappropriate work place behaviour#he's engaging in another aspect of racing that his involvement raises awareness of & that makes racing more accessible#& we all know how inaccessible not only getting into racing is but also to continue to pursue the further along you go#theres so many stories of 1 sibling giving up racing so the other can keep going because the family can't afford for them both to race#its a huge financial strain & we only see a handful of drivers talk about that & try to do something to change it#and nicos fellow sky sports commentators are routinely unprofessional on so many levels#additionally max had a lot of valid reasons to be annoyed at his team today#but alas he's not english so he's ungrateful#i hate that drivers can't criticise their teams or car without immediately being branded as bratty & ungrateful#ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR JOB IS TO GIVE FEEDBACK#you can see the double standards from sky when say Lando or George have complaints with their team/car v the likes of Max and Yuki#especially Yuki my god the things i would do to get the British media to leave him alone#this was a jokey post at one point and then became a rant whoops lmao#I'll leave it that before i write an actual essay here 😭✋️
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yuwuta · 4 months ago
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please feed us some yuuji blurbs there’s a lack of him rn :(
ofc… sweetest boy all time… here’s something was was meant to be a longer project but got lost in the editing whirlwind… love him so bad... 
NEVER LOST IN TRANSLATION, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT 
notes: reader is implied to be american/english-speaking, yuuta and megumi are bilingual, yuuji, bless his soul, is not. i didn’t use italics for conversations between yuuji and megumi because it would all be in japanese, but when they get mixed later in the scene, japanese is differentiated with italics. hope that’s not too confusing lololll
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Honestly, Yuuji tried his best in school. Some things came easier than other, but with a bit of hard work, and help from his friends, he always managed to pull pretty good grades. But right now, his biggest regret is not taking english more seriously in high school, because it’s been about three weeks since he met you, and he’s only been able to say maybe five full sentences to you without the help of Yuuta or Megumi translating. 
He was excited when Yuuta said his friend from abroad would be coming to visit and study, but god, he didn’t expect you to be so pretty. To have such pretty eyes, and pretty lips, and pretty hair, to have the prettiest voice in the world despite him only understanding every eighteenth word you say. You’re beautiful to him, and Yuuji thinks that even if he could speak your language fluently, the words would still get caught in his throat. He’s so lovesick, it’s embarrassing—his friends have been harping on him blushing and stuttering over you for the past month, and he can’t even blame them.
“What does she say to you when you guys talk,” Yuuji whines, hovering around Megumi, and not-so-discreetly looking back at you where you’re still sat in the living room laughing with Yuuta, “Does she ever say anything about me? I mean—probably not right? Which is fine! Actually, dont tell me—no, do. Or maybe—”
“She asks about you,” Megumi says, matter-of-fact in delivery, as he places a bag of popcorn in the microwave, but that doesn’t curb Yuuji’s enthusiasm. He’s practically bouncing, if he weren’t already—begging Megumi to spill the details, “What did she ask? Tell me! Tell me!” 
“She once asked if you dye your hair.”
“That’s it?!” Yuuji screams, heartbroken, and visibly deflating.
Megumi shrugs, “Yuuta probably knows more. She’s his exchange buddy friend thing, so ask him.”
“I can’t ask him, he’s right next to her!” Yuuji pouts, “Wait, what does ‘exchange buddy friend thing’ mean? You don’t think they’re more than friends, right…? I can’t blame her, senpai is really pretty, too, and he can actually talk to her… so unfair.” 
“You know, she’s not fluent, but she can understand some Japanese,” Megumi reminds him, “So, she can definitely hear you, and probably understand you.”
Yuuji’s shoulders slump, and once again, he turns around to look back at you. This time, you two make eye-contact, and that instant, Yuuji’s cheeks go pink, a nervous hand raised to wave at you, and instant internal regret at his actions; but, then you smile, and wave back, and Yuuji stays like that, dumbfounded and lovestruck and on autopilot as he waves with hearts in his eyes until Yuuta looks up from his phone and catches him.
Embarrassing. He knows he’s not the brightest, but he’s at a record high of self-embarrassment since he’s met you.
Yuuta finds himself chuckling when Yuuji spins around and goes back to prodding Megumi with questions. When you turn to face him again, it’s with a shy smile.
“I told you you’d like him,” Yuuta grins—the kind that seems sweet and innocent, but has just a kiss of that all-knowing tease to it; the kind that reminds you that he’s truly related to Satoru.
“Oh, be quiet,” you grumble, tucking your legs in and resting your chin on your knee. You spare another glance in Yuuji’s direction, for once, grateful for the language barrier between the two of you, when you turn back to Yuuta to proclaim: “I can like someone and not do anything about it. You’re real good at that, aren’t you?”
Yuuta’s slightly cocky grin falls into a scowl, and now you get to smile when he argues back, “We said not to bring up he who shall not be named in the presence of my friends!”
“Then don’t bring up my he who shall not be named in the presence of him!”
“Aren’t Americans all about forging new frontiers and chasing after your dreams?” he taunts, “Well, your dream is right in front of you.”
“My dream right now is to kill you.”
“Lucky for me, you’re going to have to hold off on that because your lover boy is approaching.”
You don’t have time to argue back with Yuuta when Megumi and Yuuji approach the living area with snacks in tow. Yuuta scoots to the tail end of the couch under the guise of giving Yuuji space to place the popcorn and nuggets in the center of the coffee table, but he has just enough time to flash you a wink before Yuuji settles in between. Megumi opts for the loveseat closets to Yuuta’s end of the couch, and you do your best not to reach over Yuuji and strangle Yuuta.
The boys decide on watching a movie you’ve never heard of, but Megumi reassures you it’ll be easy to follow and has English subtitles. You don’t mind, settling in to your corner of the couch with a handful of popcorn just as the title-screen for Human Earthworm 3 rolls across the TV.
You can follow along well-enough—even without subtitles, you get the gist of the movie. What you really find entertaining is Yuuji, who occasionally blurts out a comment or exclamation, or audibly coos whenever something sad is happening on screen. He’s almost as animated as the characters; you’re more of the silent-watcher type, but you find yourself endearing by this commentary, even if you can only understand parts of it.
You particularly appreciate the way that after every comment, he either motions to Megumi, or turns to you himself to repeat his thoughts in his best broken English, and even when you don’t understand his words, you understand him. His emotions are all on his sleeve: frustration, happiness, confusion, curiosity—communication between you two should be more difficult, but Yuuji makes it easy.
It gives you the confidence you cough out your own observation, “You, um… you’ve… seen the others? You seem to like this series.”
Across the room, Megumi and Yuuta hold their breaths, opting to not translate for you when you switch from Japanese to English. Yuuji is quiet for a moment, turned to face you with a slightly confused look on his face that makes you nervous, until his eyes brighten up and he smiles and begins nodding fervently—“Yeah—yeah, I do! It’s my… hm how do I say it… Oh! It’s my favorite!”
Between the smile on his face, the blush on his cheeks, and sincerity in his voice, you feel like you’re wrapped up in his world. It’s a little confusing, and scary, but it’s not all that bad. Maybe you can do something about it, eventually.
“I.. I think I like it, too.”
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henswilsons · 1 year ago
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think about all the places we could go
buck/eddie | 2k+ | ao3
“I,” Athena says, slowly, “have a lot of questions.”
“That’s understandable,” Eddie says. “Take your time.”
Athena takes two long, deep breaths. The other officer next to her doesn’t seem to know where to look; Buck sees him desperately pretend to be interested in the one solitary picture Eddie has hanging on his wall, like their family trip to the zoo is pertinent to the matter at hand. “I don’t suppose anyone knows about this,” Athena says.
It’s not a question, but Buck is also currently wang-out in front of his boss’s wife, so he has enough self-preservation not to get caught on semantics, now. “Uh, no ma’am.”
“Don’t you ma’am me,” says Athena.
“Sorry.”
The other officer is now almost nose-to-nose to the picture with the force of his feigned ignorance. Athena just looks grieved. “Why, then,” she says, “did you get military-grade handcuffs? Were the pink fuzzy ones not macho enough for you?”
Her tone drips with derision. She’s absolutely going home to tell Bobby all about this. “We kept, uh, breaking the pink fuzzy ones,” Eddie admits, and then, “Buck, don’t preen.”
“I’m not preening,” Buck says, probably definitely preening, but like it’s his fault, okay? It’s good to know the bicep curls are working. “Look, we’re two big firefighters. Those flimsy sex store handcuffs weren’t gonna hold us.”
read on ao3!
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fuckinart · 6 months ago
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(they'll never understand) How could I ever understand? No, I don't have to understand. I don't wanna understand. So I will never understand. (we could have everything)
#Danny Phantom#art#sketches#i do not feel like colouring this. you'll have to use your imagination#also i highly recommend listening to Nick Lutsko's Swords album because it is so Jack & Maddie it's not even funny#i've been listening to Superior on repeat for like 2 days which is why i whipped this comic up#but also Sideshow is how i was introduced to the album & is also very very very much Maddie & Jack coded#i want to write a fic about it. alas i'm already writing like 10 fics about everything right now so it'll have to wait#i just have this idea in my head of it actually being pretty obvious to Maddie & Jack who Phantom is#he's wearing their hazmat. using their inventions. can open their biometric locks. has their son's face. his voice.#Danny Fenton has an extremely high level of ectoplasm. he even has an ectosignature. the same ectosig as Phantom in fact.#but they're so in denial. so obsessed with their work up til then not being a waste of time & resources. that they just keep ignoring it#keep burying their heads in the sand#& things just keep getting worse. & they keep having a harder time committing to attacking Phantom#have a harder time believing in what they're doing. have a harder time explaining away the truth#but they can't face it. they have to keep refusing to see it#because the truth will never set them free. it will only confirm all the terrible things they've done.#they're good people. everything they do is good. there is no other side to this story. of course
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quatregats · 1 month ago
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Hornblower truly the lab rat of all time my process for writing fics about him is just "okay what outcome do we want" and then spending ages carefully constructing a little maze to drop him in so that he is forced to end up there
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mamawasatesttube · 9 months ago
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going into the timkon tag is like foraging for berries and like 90% of them are definitely poisonous
you go into the timkon tag and automatically take area of effect poison damage just from the cloud of poison radiating off all of those berries. (ough. -1 hp) and then you foolishly linger (auh. -1 hp) in the area (hnrgh. -1 hp) because the few non-poisonous berries you can find here (ouch. -1 hp) are so so so sooo tasty and sweet and juicy. (ungh. -1 hp) and you're foraging but (hnhgh. -1 hp) the longer you spend around the poison berries (ouah. -1 hp) the more damage you take. (ourhgh. -1 hp) and maybe you DO find one really beautiful sweet delicious perfect berry (YIPPEE! +10 HP) but you Are still standing in a cloud of poison (hrgn. -1 hp)
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stevethehairington · 4 months ago
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man reeeaaaaalllly wanna write a patrick pov mark rebellato days era art tags along on the zweig family trip to the summer vacation home kinda fic ft. sunburnt cheeks and shoulders and salt dried tangled tresses and passing a stolen bottle of something strong back and forth and toes in wet sand and moonlit first kisses 😩
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ravencromwell · 1 month ago
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The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.
--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad
#so. we've come to the Iliad section in my Early World Literature class. and in that context we're utilizing the public domain translation by#A. S. Kline which made me think: you know what would be extremely fucking cool? since I'm going to have access to the Kline text until#the course closes in December. why don't I at least start the Wilson version and see how the two translations differ? so I'm now reading#The Iliad#as translated by Wilson and performed by the utterly masterful Audra McDonald. or well. I _would be except I'm so delighted. stunned. by#the incisive thought-provokingness of her introduction I keep needing to pause and write down various quotes: just this whole idea of#the poem revolving around how all all our deaths shall come too soon and there is no adequate compensation for that awful fact just FUCK#linguistics#mythology#folklore#fairy tales#lit geekery#book babbling#(oh I am already so fucking deep in this fannish hell and I haven't even really started her translation: like the Kline one is fine. but#it's very focused on *trying* to be Homeric you know? so there are all these very archaic references ala to Apollo#as Smintheus. which I then have to stop and look up oh. that means he's the mouse god and being the mouse god is important because#it ties back to him being an oracular god. which is then why the Greeks want to turn to another oracular god when he gets all pissy at them#and on one level. learning that mice were associated with the power of prophecy? extremely cool shit. on the other. well I have to#read a large chunk of this text in a fucking week Kline my good bud was it really necessary to provide an odd mouse reference I then#needed to find the context for *myself* I can already tell Wilson's tendency to provide context. both in the intro and just in general#wanting to make it readable terms will make this so! much easier of an introduction. (Kline. by contrast. would be really fucking cool if#you were a third-time reader and wanted all the marvelous nuance. just *rubs forehead* not a great intro when you're only focusing on#this text for a fucking week)
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thetangycheesemanwithaplan · 6 months ago
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Some speculation I have for the next episode!
Yes I'e been having a lot of speculation and maybe (most likely) i'll be wrong but its just some fun ideas I've been having
I talked about this with @buck-up-buck and she is a prophet (check out her posts here to see her vision-with a small contribution from me about the AA meeting being a thing) she has some theories that happen after this theory of mine which I'm excited for her to share with you all as she see's the shrimp colours.
And so with what we've seen in the promo, the still that Tim has shared (I have brightened it so it can be a bit clearer) here's what I think will happen. Especially in this still
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So firstly the order of events I believe will be the AA meeting then the Bathena conversation and then the motel drama, just as we are shown in the promo. There will be other things sprinkled in but the next two eps will be very Bobby centric. So when i saw this still i immediately thought of the following ideas/spec:
So Amir makes his speech at the AA meeting, it slowly dawns on Bobby the connection they share and obviously this sends Bobby mentally spiralling. It's been 10 years since the fire and Bobbys come far but hearing from someone who he affected by his past actions is definitely going to stir up shit (duh). I feel like we may get some flashbacks to the fire, maybe even Amir's perspective (how he got his scars) because our boy Amir is angry (you saw his stare, seeing bobby has reignited his fire). I feel like Bobby may attempt to speak to him after but Amir is angry and storms out or Bobby is in shock and cant say anything.
We then see the conversation with Bathena. It looks like Athena was asleep and Bobby hadn't come to bed yet. Athena woke up and came looking for Bobby to find him hunched over his laptop going into a bit of a dive on Amir and who he was and who he lost. Athena maybe talks to him about it and Bobby is very much adamant on making amends (Step 9). Athena wants to support him but the sergeant in her is concerned at this guy. So she supports him in the moment but hatches her own little plan.
And here is where we see the still (it's clearly at the hospital)
Athena has found out where this guy works and goes to speak to him. Amir is just finishing his shift when Athena catches him. She introduces her self and that she's Bobby's wife. Amir is immediately angered by this but keeps himself calm, only showing annoyance. Athena talks about how she knows who he is through Bobby and that she's sorry for Amir's loss. She expresses concern for how he raised the issue to Bobby and asks that they can work towards making amends. She says that Bobby has come so far to turn his life around (gives examples of what Bobby has accomplished. Captain of the 118, his new family with her and the steps he has taken in recovery) and all he wants to do is carry on moving forward. She doesn't want this incident to cause Bobby to fall of the wagon, they've been through a lot and she's concerned (she also getting alarm bells from this guys so is trying to gauge his intent whilst also trying to clear the air)
I think this angers Amir, again he wont show it but it sparks something in him further than what has already been sparked. He starts scheming (@buck-up-buck's theories about the loft burning down hehe) I feel like he'll make some comment to Athena about how he's glad Bobby could move on so easily whilst everyone else was left cleaning up the mess(throw back to the comment he made to Maddie) Obviously Athena defends her husband and says something like "it was far from easy, he clawed his way out of the darkest place and fought tooth and nail to get where he is now. If he can do it so can you." cause Athena has clocked that this guy is massively holding a grudge.
But Amir doesn't want to hear it and maybe just says something like 'Good for him' before walking away from the conversation.Amir is angry because its been 10 years and he's still affected by the fire, he hasn't let go of the pain and the hurt (as he mentioned in his speech) but now seeing that the guy who caused it has a new family, that he's moved on and is happy, is captain of a firehouse (irony not lost on him) and Amir has been left scared and hurt and his life hasn't bounced back just absolutely fuels his revenge plan.
Athena tells Bobby that she tried to reason with Amir but there was no reasoning with him and that he's very angry still. She tells Bobby she knows he needs to make amends and he should but also says he should be careful and wait for him to calm down a bit first and that whatever he does he shouldn't do it alone. Bobby of course listens and agrees but also he understands Amir better than anyone and thinks he can get through to him (remember Bobby is shook up by this whole thing and won't make the smartest decisions) so when Amir reaches out and asks Bobby to meet at the Easy Motel, Bobby does go and then, Amir starts his revenge
Amir wants Bobby to suffer again like he did (he doesn't acknowledge that Bobby did loose everything in that fire, he's to blinded by his own grief and mad that Bobby has a shiny new life and seems unbothered by his past to listen to reason) he wants to rip Bobby's family away from him, saying he doesn't deserve a second chance.
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beesinspades · 1 year ago
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colorless expression certainly is A Chapter, but you know what part of it really gets me? it's the kid at the end, on the very last page, who grabs one of the adults throwing rocks at vash as he flees, and pleads "stop it! vash isn't like that!" :') something something hate is learned, not innate, but also god, how much i wish vash had heard that kid
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fruitsyrups · 8 months ago
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I think it's so interesting to think about the unique social implications of things on the islands. Like, the animal hats & how they originally existed for the practical purpose of protection & they kept wearing them even after that wasn't a factor anymore. & how the hats we see in the present day (when Finn & co visit the islands) don't really resemble animal hats, do they? & maybe that's just to make the significant human characters (who do still wear animal hats) seem more distinct but you best believe I'm going to make it into something bigger. Oh I'm so bad at putting my thoughts into words but it's something how the hats evolved into a new meaning. & when robo susan rips friedas hat off its like a very violating moment. Something something hats, the lack thereof, vulnerability. I don't know. Sorry. I was going somewhere with this but I don't know how to explain it. You get it though. Hats are interesting.
I like to think that (when everyone got sick and lots of them died and the rest moved to a new island) there was a bunch of small shifts & the animal -> abstract hats was one of them. And Frieda still wearing her dog hat shows her still holding onto the past in some way. There we go, that's something. This isn't a total nothing post after all
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preciousbabyrat · 1 month ago
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maybe the real reason Dan and Phil's posture is so bad is that it's from carrying the lesbianism fandom on their backs all the time
ok I saw a bunch of people say it's dead on here rn so I'm gonna yap incoherently to throw something into the void idk. trigger warning for creepy men talk?
so speaking of the sapphic audience. I know everyone knows we don't get much love from straight people but also in my own experience queer guys have been just as bad if not worse and that makes dnp extra special to me yk? possibly too parasocial of me but that's what a phannie blog is for 🫡
like I've had a bi dude tell me he LOVES lesbians, lesbians are the coolest people, he wishes he was one lol. and I was like aw that's a rare take but queer solidarity makes sense, how nice. fast forward to getting invited to a threesome with him 472 times and getting photos of his junk mid thrust into someone. among other things uh. another safe-fellow-queer guy friend flabbergasted I didn't want to fuck him after 5 years of knowing I was a lesbian. (idk maybe I'm a magnet for actual freaks or maybe this is everyone's experience and I'm the only one still surprised. tell me in the replies lmao. but anyway)
so basically I'll see someone say lesbians are cool and it makes me wait for the other shoe to drop. and that's why sometimes being in the phannie sphere is so nicely weird? consistently blows my mind. which is funny bc Dan and Phil aren't really doing anything. just a throwaway comment here and there. but it IS consistently here and there and that's all I ever wanted in the first place personally. exposing myself as desperate for validation rn but also I don't think this is exactly a rare sentiment? in conclusion peace and love on planet earth & ily queer gang
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clickerflight · 19 days ago
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Voltober 23. Fears and Anguish - Sons of Billionaires
Author's notes: I didn't think I would write one shots for this fanfic during this challenge, but I think I'm up to 3 of them now (the other will be posted a few days before halloween)
Masterlist - Part 22
Content: halfa whumpee, panic attack, nightmare, angst
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@voltober
Nightmares | Phobia | Wracked with Guilt
Vlad woke up to the sound of screams. They were, unfortunately, becoming familiar to him at this point as Danny was plagued by nightmares now, especially since his therapist had started helping him work through what his parents had done to him.
Vlad rolled out of bed, grabbing his robe and putting it on, tying it closed and heading down the hall, running a hand to shake his hair out of his tired eyes.
He opened the door to Danny’s room and he stepped in, leaning over the bed and shaking Danny’s shoulder.
“Badger? Are you alright?”
Danny startled awake, the blanket tangled around his legs. His eyes, glowing green in the dark, blurred with tears.
“NO!” he screeched, putting his hands up as a shield up around himself. “PLEASE! NO!”
Vlad backed off, keeping his hands up. “Woah, woah. It’s okay, badger. It’s just me-”
“STAY AWAY!” Danny screamed, tears dripping off of his chin. “HAVEN’T YOU DONE ENOUGH!?”
Vlad backed even farther away, and the guilt he thought he had worked through came back all at once. He flinched back, keeping his hands where Danny could see them. “I’m not going to hurt you. Remember?”
Danny stared at him with wide wide eyes, uncomprehending of what Vlad was saying.
“You know what? That’s okay, I’ll just go back to bed. Let Henry know if you need anything.”
Vlad backed out of the room and gently closed the door. It hurt to leave Danny like that, but if he had been having a nightmare about Vlad, he did not want to make the boy uncomfortable. He found his way back through the hall and let his robe drop in a heap before he climbed back into bed, the blankets down at his waist as he laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He would need to let the therapists know about this, and talk with Danny in the morning. He didn’t know what this would mean for their situation, but if Danny no longer felt safe in the manor, Vlad would not force him to stay here.
His heart hurt at the thought and he closed his eyes, breathing out deeply through his nose as he tried to purge the guilt from his mind. Yes, what he had done to scare the boy was terrible, and he wished he could go back and do it all over again, but he couldn’t. He would just have to do what he could and hope that Danny would be alright. And he would do his best to make up for every moment of pain and fear he had ever caused the boy.
He was about to roll over and attempt to quiet his mind to sleep when he heard feet on the floorboards outside his room. He turned his head as the door was pushed open and Danny sheepishly looked in.
“Vlad?”
“Yes, Danny?” Vlad asked, sitting up.
Danny shuffled his feet. “’M sorry.”
“That’s alright, my boy,” Vlad said gently. “Nightmares are scary, and sometimes it can be confusing when you wake up. Are you feeling better?”
“Yes.” Danny took a step inside and closed the door, staring at the ground and fidgeting. “I’m not scared of you anymore. I just wanted you to know.”
Vlad smiled. “I am relieved to hear that. I was afraid we would be having a difficult discussion in the morning. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Danny looked up, embarrassment written on his face. “Uh, no, not really.”
“Are you sure? I can and will help you with anything.”
Danny looked down quickly and shrugged. “Don’t wanna sleep alone,” he mumbled.
“Ah, I see. I have a hard time sleeping after the nightmares too, sometimes. This bed is very big if you want to stay here for the night.”
“I’m not a baby,” Danny said, despite the hesitant step he took forward. “I should just go back to bed.”
“Whatever you want to do, badger,” Vlad said. He scooted over in the bed so he was on the far side, showing how much room there was in case Danny wanted to stay.
It seemed the small halfa made up his mind as he climbed into the bed, tucking himself in and closing his eyes fiercely.
“Goodnight,” he said firmly.
“Goodnight,” Vlad said with a smile. He rolled over to give Danny some privacy as he fell asleep, but he himself did not fall asleep until he was sure Danny had fallen back to sleep.
VTB Part 24
Sons of Billionaires
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riwrite · 26 days ago
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the cruelest trick the world has ever played on me was to make me an autistic cosplayer who cant stand the texture of eva foam
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