#but ah ! how i love and love and love some more... that's a good thing about me methinks. how full of love for everything/one i am :3

[guilty-pleasures21]

The last of the real ones

No context, no explanations. Just words and emotions spilling onto my keyboard. Listen to the songs for the full experience.

An only child of the universe

The waves

Wet concrete pt II

This whole damn city

Does your therapist know?

Too good to be true

The only one

Warnings: descriptions of depression and panic attacks.

----------------------------------------------------------

"I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me ..."

9 am: alarm. Don’t hit the snooze button. Get up and open the curtains to let some sunlight in - sunlight makes you happy, she reminded herself as the bright light streamed in through her windows. Make the bed - seeing it in a mess would only put her in a lazy mood for the rest of the day. Shower and brush teeth. And she shouldn’t forget to play the radio on her phone so she wouldn’t have to listen to her thoughts.

9.30 am: breakfast. Two hard-boiled eggs and a cup of hot chocolate to warm her up. And her medication, of course. And the new book she was reading so she wouldn’t have to think about her thoughts - scrolling through her phone would only cause her to spiral down a black hole, so her therapist had advised her to keep it away from her while she had her breakfast. 

10 am: gym. She put her earphones in her bag so she wouldn’t be tempted to drown out her thoughts with more music. Instead, she looked around at her surroundings and focused on all the natural sounds of the world as she made her morning walk. The world is beautiful, she reminded herself, and the world is fine. It will keep spinning, even when you feel like you might die. She forced the corners of her lips up, putting on a small smile as she waited by the traffic light. Her smile stretched wider as she walked into her regular gym and made eye contact with the receptionist. 

     “How was your weekend?” X asked, stopping to engage in conversation - social interactions were good. In small doses, they fulfilled the basic human desire for company. 

     “Ugh!” Stacey groaned, jokingly putting her head in her hands. “My sister and her boyfriend broke up. Again! So I had to stay in making sure she didn’t overdose on trashy rom-coms and ice cream.”

     X snickered at the not-quite-joke and a small smile pulled at the corners of Stacey’s lips. 

     “What about you?” she asked, completing the customary greeting conversation. X’s stomach twisted into a knot and she quickly pushed aside any thoughts she had of … he-who-shall-not-be-named. A joke. Joking was good. Joking made her … less sad. Her therapist had wanted her to open up about him more, in the initial stages of counselling - because talking about him, reliving the good memories, would help her accept … what had happened. Would help her miss him less - but everytime she felt the sound of his name in her mouth, she would break down all over again until Bruce had told the woman that perhaps it was best to just avoid the topic all together. 

     “I … read my new book,” X replied, latching onto the first saving grace that blessed her mind. But now she had to elaborate - it was what was expected, after all. “It’s set in the Victorian era. It’s about this guy who’s actually the illegitimate child of an Earl - this high-ranking nobleman during that time period - and his father’s will says that he has to marry someone by the end of the year in order to claim his inheritance. So, he asks his neighbour to pretend to be his bride. And then they actually end up falling in love!” 

     “Ah, the ‘marriage-of-convenience’ storyline.” Stacey nodded her head knowingly. Then she leaned forward, her eyes alight with excitement. “What’s it called?”

     They chatted a bit more before X finally headed over to the lockers to put her things away. Then she put in her earphones, turned up her music and set to work. 

     She spent the rest of the day going through the usual motions - lunch, library, coffee, dinner with some friends so she wouldn’t be alone with her thoughts for too long - until finally, there was nothing left to keep her from her bed. X opened the door to her apartment and leaned back against it once she’d locked it again, surveying the empty and darkened space. She sucked in a breath and forced a smile onto her face, then turned on the lights and began getting herself ready for bed. 

     But it was still too early for sleep - she needed to maintain a regular sleep schedule, her therapist would always tell her, and minimise her use of the insomnia pills her psychiatrist had given her. X sighed and grabbed her phone as she sank onto the sofa, preparing to scroll through her social media while the television droned on in the background. She thought she was doing fine, distracting herself from the cold silence sneaking around behind her,  waiting for her to look it in the eye and give it permission to devour her whole ... 

     But suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. 

     She dropped her phone onto the cushion and reached for her chest as she doubled over, the panic spreading through her veins and filling up her lungs and nose and eyes and everywhere! It was everywhere and it wouldn’t stop and she couldn’t breathe and it hurt - it hurt, hurt, hurt. It hurt so bad, her heart pounding in her chest in terror, begging to be let out, beating against her ribs as she tried and tried and tried to pull down a breath. Just one breath, just one breath. She fumbled around the sofa, reaching for phone, then she dialled the one person she knew would always pick up, no matter what. 

     “X?” Dick asked, his voice smooth and calm and so, very far away. X gasped into the phone, desperately trying to swallow down whatever air her lungs would permit, and Dick’s voice grew louder. “X, slow down. You’re okay, X, just slow down. You gonna slow down for me? Please?” 

     X nodded and clutched her phone with both hands as she forced her shallow breaths to slow down. She inhaled deeply, allowing the air to enter her lungs naturally rather than trying to pull it down. “J-Jay-”

     “I know, X, I know,” Dick reassured her, his voice soft and gentle and understanding. He understood. He understood and he’d gone through it too and he was okay. He was okay and he would be okay in spite of everything, so maybe she could be okay too. “Can you switch to video for me, X? Can you do that for me, please?” 

     She sucked in another shaky breath, then swiped up on the video button. Dick’s face filled the screen, his lips stretching into a delighted smile when he saw her - because he was happy to see her, even when she was a mess, even when she was a sobbing wreck who couldn’t get over her grief - and immediately, her stomach began slowly trying to untwist itself. 

     “Hey, little nightingale,” he greeted her, no judgement whatsoever in his voice - his calm and understanding voice. “We’re going to do our breathing exercises, okay? I’m going to need you to do them with me, X. Can you do that for me? Please?” 

     X nodded and Dick began narrating the breathing exercises her therapist had taught her. “Okay, let’s breathe in first and count to four. You ready, X? Breathe in, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, out, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four.” 

     X followed his instructions, focusing on nothing but making each breath last for as long as he told her to. They repeated the exercise a few more times until finally, she felt her body stop trying to fight her. Dick waited patiently as she brushed the tears and snot off her face, then he flashed her another one of those understanding smiles. 

     “Hey, we’re okay, right, X?” he asked softly, his tone so reassuring that it chased away any remaining fear that continued to slink around her body. “You and me, together?” 

     ‘Together’. That was what had brought them this far. Pain was always easier when you were dealing with it ‘together’ - when you had someone to share it with sometimes. X nodded in agreement and forced her lips into the smallest of smiles - because smiling also made everything seem just a little less heavy. 

     “You know your big bro’s always going to be here to protect you, right, X?” Dick continued. “I mean, I am kind of the greatest superhero to have ever walked this Earth.” 

     He shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t such a big deal to make such a bold statement, and a soft chuckle fell from X’s lips at his joke. Dick grinned, his smile widening from one of understanding to one of joy - of relief and genuine happiness - and X felt her lips stretch just a little more too. 

     “There’s that smile we all love and fear,” he joked, coaxing another small snicker from X’s lips. “I’m gonna come by tomorrow if you haven’t got anything on. Do you need more candy? You’d better not have finished the last pack I got you! It was supposed to last three months, at least!” 

     X glanced around her living room, studiously avoiding Dick’s gaze as a guilty little smile crossed her lips. “Uh, … I might need just a little more candy? Maybe?” 

     Dick groaned and X’s next laugh was just a little louder than the last one - just a little longer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, little nightingale? I’ll keep my phone on tonight so you can reach me if anything.” 

     “Okay,” X agreed, a wave of gratitude sweeping her up and bathing her in its comforting warmth. “See you tomorrow. Bye, Dick, I love you!” 

     Dick softened at her words. “I love you too, little nightingale.”

Tags: @stormz369

[astro-stars]

wait do you? (continuation)

The Mostro Lounge was unusually quiet that afternoon, a stark contrast to Yuu’s chaotic day. Earlier, she’d impulsively asked Jack an embarrassing question about beastmen heats due to a lingering truth potion incident that stripped her of her filter. She’d spent the rest of the day dodging curious looks and trying to recover her dignity. Now, as she sat across from Jade and Floyd, the potion’s effects were still in full force, much to her dismay.

Without warning, Yuu blurted out, “Do merfolk mate for life like some sea animals?”

Both twins froze for a split second before Floyd burst into laughter, slapping the table. “Hahaha! Oh man, Shrimpy, where did that come from?”

Jade’s polite smile widened, his sharp teeth glinting. “An intriguing question, Prefect. What inspired such a… candid inquiry?”

Yuu’s face turned crimson as she waved her hands defensively. “I just… I mean, I’ve read things about eels and other sea creatures, and I was curious if it’s the same for merfolk. You know, since you’re… part ocean.”

Floyd leaned back in his chair, still chuckling. “You’re so weird, Shrimpy. But I like it. What’s next? You wanna know if we lay eggs?”

“Wait, do you?” Yuu asked, her curiosity piqued despite herself.

Jade let out a soft laugh, his amusement barely concealed. “No, we do not. Merfolk anatomy has certain… parallels with humans, though there are unique differences.”

“Unique differences?” Yuu echoed, leaning forward unconsciously.

Floyd grinned mischievously, leaning closer. “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, Shrimpy? Should I give you the full merbiology lesson?”

“Floyd,” Jade interjected smoothly, his tone carrying a hint of warning. “Let us not overwhelm her with too much information.”

Floyd ignored him, standing abruptly and grabbing Yuu’s arm. “Nah, this is too good. Let’s go see Azul. He’ll love this.”

“Wait, what?” Yuu stammered as Floyd dragged her along, Jade following at a leisurely pace, his expression one of quiet amusement.

The trio found Azul in his office, meticulously reviewing ledgers. He looked up as they entered, his expression shifting from mild annoyance to curiosity.

“Floyd, Jade, Prefect,” Azul greeted, adjusting his glasses. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Floyd shoved Yuu into a chair across from Azul’s desk, grinning from ear to ear. “Shrimpy’s got questions. Real funny ones. You’re gonna love this.”

Jade took a seat beside Yuu, his smile ever-present. “She’s been inquiring about the… biological nuances of merfolk.”

Azul blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Biological nuances?”

“Yeah,” Floyd said, leaning on the desk. “Like if we mate for life, or if we lay eggs. Stuff like that.”

Azul’s face turned a shade darker as he cleared his throat. “Well, Prefect, I can assure you that merfolk biology is… a complex subject. Certainly not something to discuss so casually.”

Yuu buried her face in her hands. “This wasn’t supposed to involve you. They dragged me here!”

Floyd burst into laughter again, while Jade’s chuckles were more subdued. Azul’s eyes narrowed slightly as he studied Yuu. “Prefect, you’re not usually this… uninhibited. Have you, perhaps, been affected by a potion?”

Yuu groaned. “Yes! It was an accident in class this morning, and now I can’t stop blurting out whatever I’m thinking.”

Azul’s expression shifted to one of realization. “Ah, I’d heard about a truth potion incident but hadn’t realized it was you. How fascinating.” His tone took on a mischievous edge as he leaned forward. “Tell me, Yuu, what do you really think about some of our fellow students?”

“Oh no,” Yuu said, her eyes widening. “I’m not answering that.”

“You might not have a choice,” Jade said smoothly, his amusement evident.

Floyd clapped his hands together, grinning. “Yeah, Shrimpy! What’s your take on lion fishy? Bet you’ve got something good there.”

Yuu groaned again, feeling the words bubble up against her will. “He’s… grumpy but weirdly charming,” she admitted reluctantly. “And he’s got great hair.”

Floyd howled with laughter, while Jade nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting,” he murmured.

Azul smirked, clearly enjoying himself. “And Riddle?”

“He tries too hard,” Yuu blurted, “but he’s really sweet deep down.”

The twins’ laughter echoed through the office as Azul leaned back in his chair, clearly entertained. Just then, the door burst open, and Ace, Deuce, and Grim stormed in, looking frantic.

“There you are!” Ace exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Yuu. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“You can’t just run off when you’re like this!” Deuce added, his expression a mix of worry and exasperation.

Grim hopped onto the desk, glaring at the trio of Octavinelle students. “What are you guys doing with my hench-human? She’s under my protection!”

Floyd burst out laughing again, leaning against the wall for support. “Your ‘hench-human’? Oh, this just keeps getting better!”

Azul adjusted his glasses, his smirk widening. “Ah, her rescuers have arrived. How charming.”

Ace grabbed Yuu’s arm, gently but firmly. “Come on, we’re taking you back to the dorm before you spill more secrets.”

Yuu sighed in defeat as her friends dragged her out of the office, Grim muttering under his breath about irresponsible eels. As they left, Floyd’s laughter echoed down the hall, and Yuu couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever live this day down.

TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky @lunasmisosoup

IDEA BY: @kimdourden

DIVIDER/BORDER: MEEE :)

[madamechrissy]

♔ Silent Serenades preview- Part Fifteen ♔

♔ An arranged Marriage with Duke Gojo ♔

Don't read if you're not caught up! Part Fourteen here - MDNI

Preview under the cut

Satoru is going to be… a father.

You’re showing just a bit, a little roundness to your tummy and breasts, but mostly he can tell by your glow. They way your eyes glimmer brighter, the way your skin illuminates just so, as if it’s shimmering, he’s never seen anything like it, like your beauty with his child growing in you. How could you get more beautiful? It seemed unreal, just your little smile destroys him in an instant.

You’re snuggling up to his arm as you both near the inn on your journey up to Scotland, you’d been beaming about it all morning, Satoru just hopes he can make everything perfect, while still being somewhat terrified of what being a father will mean. Of fucking it all up royally, of not being good enough, and also he’s terrified of what the pregnancy means for you.

He’s heard horror stories of women in labor, of them dying after having children or even during, and that’s one thing Satoru cannot have, anything happening to you, ever. The thought of living one day without you is a torturous one that he just doesn’t think he could ever handle, you are his everything, you are his sun and his moon, his air in his lungs.

Now there will be a baby, and you’re already so damn thrilled, your little hand rests on your tummy already, having had it confirmed by the physician, you’d been a little sick at first but now you’re just sleepy very often. But your heart is so full, as you look up at your husband, who smiles softly at you, caressing your face while the carriage rocks back and forth.

“What are you thinking of, devious little Duchess?” He teases, you giggle then, chin tilting up as you look into the swirling blue storms of his eyes.

“Thinking how excited I am, for everything. I’ve never even seen Scotland, and I’m going to marry you again-”

“It’s going to be our first marriage, I refuse to acknowledge that night.” His words are a little hoarse, breaking your heart.

Satoru is harder on the past than you are to him, surely, you don’t think anyone could punish themselves more than he does. “Of course, you are right, this is our choice, hmm?”

“Our choice. My choice. Always you.” He kisses you, passionate presses of his lips, until you’re both heated, because when isn’t it that way?

No amount of domestic bliss truly helps the intense and insane need that the both of you constantly have for each other. The way he touches you, grabs you, possessive and hungry, the way your lips both move, desperate and messy, tongues sliding, teeth nipping. His hand entangles in your hair, yours clutches the stark fabric of his jacket.

Satoru’s kissing down your neck, yanking out a breast almost from your bodice, hot hungry kisses down your chest that make your back arch for more. “You’re more beautiful, you kill me.” He murmurs, as he nips a sensitive nipple, earning a whine.

“I’m always wet lately, it’s so bloody inconvenient.” He snorts now, hand squishing a breast as he peeks at you with his swirling blue eyes.

“I love it, how’s it inconvenient, bratty girl?”

“It’s all the time, Satoru, is this some odd symptom!? Ah!” Satoru’s sucking your nipple in his mouth, hot and wet, your eyes roll back in your skull.

“I have no clue of pregnancy, any more than you. Just know that you’re even sexier, god these tits, look at em.” Your eyes dart down, seeing them marked, glittering and glossy.

“They’re getting huge! You would like that, hmm?” Your eyes narrow and he snorts in laughter, kissing you as the heat pools between your thighs.

“Oh yes, can’t wait till they’re even fuller. Dripping milk.”

“You’re insane, Duke.” You whisper, but it’s half hearted, his dilated gaze so hungry only makes you more sensitive and needy.

“You love it, hmm? Slutty Duchess.”

“Shush, man whore.” He glares now, snowy lashes lowering, cutting your giggle off with a bite that makes you gasp. “Ow!”

“Shut your pretty mouth, you love it.” You shove at him, looking at your now puffy nipple, before he yanks you on his lap, and you’re pressed against him, feeling he’s just as excited for you, when the carriage stops. “Just wait till I get you in the room.”

“Oh?” You smile just a bit, and he smirks, looking like the charming ass of a man he is.

“Oh.” 

Two parts left!!! I can't believe we're almost over w/this one. Are you excited to see the slutty/toxic ass couple again? <3

[sufferu]

I have a fanfic idea for you.

Growing up, Anastasia would dream of a boy in a world different from her own; while Subaru would get visits from a ghostly purple haired girl. They would soon grow to be like siblings, with Subaru showing the wonders of his world and its inventions, while Ana would tell him of her world and its wonders and dangers. She would then use her knowledge of the modern world to help her become more successful as a merchant, while helping Subaru with his own issues and how to better interact with others.

Come the day where Subaru finds himself in Lugunica, he would be more cautious and set out to find the only friend he has in this new world.

There are details to this story that probably needs fine-tuning or outright changes. And I honestly don't know if Subaru would fair better or if he still dies a number of times.

Of course, whether or not you are interested in the idea, I was wondering what your thoughts are on it, and whether or not it would be a good fanfic or at least a one-shot chapter.

I probably won’t write this simply because I’m already doing A Lot, but I think it does actually have a lot of potential! What I’d suggest is to keep a couple of things in mind:

What do Anastasia and Subaru get out of this relationship as they grow up? I imagine that Anastasia’s influence would make Subaru significantly cleverer and wilier, and that she’d assist him in making smart choices while also building his confidence in acting as HE sees fit instead of acting how other people expect him (especially since a lot of his insecurities come from his father and Anastasia is an orphan). Bonus: this would likely mean that he doesn’t actually become a drop-out like he does in canon, both because her influence would target the very flaws that led to such an event and because it would emphasize that their relationship really has had an impact on their lives. Meanwhile, Subaru’s openness and authenticity would probably help Anastasia lower the guards around her heart and be more openly charitable towards others rather than couching everything in “What can THEY do for ME?” and might even influence things like her sense of humor. Hell, maybe some of his interests inspire some of her business ventures, like his love of Light Novels. Not to mention the whole thing with him being from beyond the Great Waterfall, which she now has an exclusive window to see into.

How has their influence shaped the trajectory of one another’s lives? Like above, I’d suggest looking at their canon past experiences and seeing where you can maybe…reshape some events, in a way that’s noticeably more Subaru- or Anastasia-like. I’ve mentioned the drop-out thing and the expansive of Anastasia’s business endeavors, but perhaps Anastasia’s whole philosophy for how to rule a nation gets a bit tweaked as a result of Subaru’s influence as well.

How would Subaru know that this is Anastasia’s homeland? Perhaps he doesn’t. Perhaps the possibility doesn’t even cross his mind: that seems very much like Subaru. Perhaps he doesn’t even recognize her at first. Does she recognize him? Is she miffed that he doesn’t also realize what’s going on? Does she not realize who he is until after Julius has already challenged him to a duel? How does this influence their interactions? Or — does someone like Ricardo figure out what’s going on before either of them ever do?

Do the visions stop when Subaru enters this new world? Does Subaru mourn their loss during the months before the Royal Selection Ceremony, adding to his accumulating stress? Does Anastasia panic about what might have happened to her old friend? —Or do they keep going, and now Anastasia is watching her old friend unravel before her eyes?

How does this impact Anastasia and Emilia’s relationship? I imagine Subaru gushed before about how he likes girls with silver hair, especially since he and Anastasia have a sibling-like relationship here (good choice btw). So does she see Emilia and go “Ah…” Is she resentful that Subaru is in EMILIA’s camp, and not her own? Does she respond by adapting and using it as a way to strengthen ties with another political camp? Does she grow fond of Emilia faster, or slower?

Anyway, I think there are a lot of things you could do with this fic! I’m basically never going to say that any idea is bad from the outset — execution is everything — but I can see a number of ways that this could go. I hope you give it a shot!

[random-thoughts-uwu]

Aventurine headcanons! (after IPC recruitment)

Moving in:

was VERY overwhelmed. it was so big, bright, warm...ah!

probably just sat on the floor for a good while. just. trying to grasp what was happening at that moment.

so many rooms...the living area was so big and cozy, the bathrooms were so clean and bright, the bedroom...!

was very overwhelmed when he got to the kitchen; he probably didn't know what half the utility was for, and when he got the fridge/pantry, saw more food than he could even name. im telling you. so many different meats, fruits, vegetables, dairies...fruit that are normal to everyone else was likely VERY new for him. he probably also felt guilty, in a way, having so much food for only himself, when he and his family had been starving for so long...but anyways!

he was probably also very cautious moving in, checking all the windows and closets, any place where someone could be hiding or any possible cameras.

was likely still cautious, but managed to bathe and found it to be his new favorite thing.

probably LOVES meats. like. wow. its so juicy and tasty and fills him up. and sweets. major sweet tooth. poor man probably hasnt had anything sweet like this in his life up till now

Education:

also, can we talk about his education? honestly, i doubt he even knew how to read. well, maybe his sister taught him the basics, but again, he was enslaved for such a long time. did ratio teach him? did he just slowly get better at it himself (with lots of mispronouncing words and then getting the Look from ratio LOL)

someone had to teach him to use a phone too...i wonder if it was like IPC training to teach him how to use electronics or if they had to ask dr ratio or topaz or something to teach him

honestly he probably doesnt know a lot of classics either. the poor boy doesnt know about fairytales and classic books and movies. maybe he has some slightly altered versions from Sigonia-IV, like how theres different versions of cinderella in different cultures

i guess we can all agree aventurine is WAYYY more street smart than book smart compared to ratio (i still love you aventurine)

Experiences!

ok, so let's talk about this. my poor aventurine doesnt know anything but the harsh desert like terrain of sigonia-iv, and the cold cellar he was locked in, and ig normal buildings and the like.

but lets take him to the beach now. WOAH. the sand is so soft?? and it's not just harsh, hot sand, theres cool water, crashing onto the shore! there's seashells! washed up seaweed! palm trees! seagulls!! also he probably doesn't know how to swim. so he'd just do that awkward walk into the ocean that we all did as kids and get a little tense whenever a wave comes but eventually come to love it and never want to leave. hed also fs jump whenever something touches him.

snow???? imagine this. imagine please oh my god. its SNOW. its so magical and soft and cold. hed watch the snow fall, try to catch some on his tongue and taste it, make snowballs and snowmen and snow angels, run around and just lay in it. and at night, when the sky is that dull color and not quite black, the snow all soft and white

also, let's be real, chat. this man lost out on so. many. childhood experiences. so, him first learning to ride a bike, or playing ball, or finding a song he loves and screaming the lyrics out whenever, or learning to bake...i also very strongly headcanon that he would see a group of kids playing and immediately get hit with nostalgia, envy, melancholy. for the childhood he lost, the innocence of these children, their happy expressions as they run back to hug their mom and babble on excitedly about something, the dirt cleaned from their faces with a gentle thumb and smile. all these things he's never got to experience before.

Fears and insecurities (slight tw?):

thunderstorms. its too loud, so sudden, brings back all those old memories

yelling. he actually can't take it he Will break down. especially if its from someone he's close to

physical scars-- you cannot tell me this man will not have scars. i am almost 100% sure that you will see all sorts of fading marks along his back and arms, from fights, lashes, etc...

intimacy. sorry if this gets tw for anyone, but just saying. we all see how overconfident and cocky he acts, but he probably hates the idea of vulnerability. he hates being in that kind of situation, where he's left bare to his lover's gaze and judgement. i think he would also be scared of accidentally causing pain, or not being enough. or maybe scared of reaching expectations, of having to be up for it and ready whenever his lover wants it simply because he's a guy, or maybe thinks that that's just how relationships work.

also im very sure this man gets panic attacks, like. cmon. nightmares? had a situation too similar to one of the ones that scarred him?

also feel free to add more idk (i will be fs so u might want to come back and check idk)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[mourn-and-watch]

you know what. i actually love that trying to talk to solas was the last thing varric did and it ended in complete failure. especially if you put it in the context of his feelings about anders. varric was so bitter every time he mentioned him because he could not stop him. he didn't even realize that anders was up to something and when it was too late he started to think of him as of someone who destroyed that fragile peace in kirkwall that actually never existed.

it adds layers to the way he felt about solas. he believed that time he could stop a friend who simply lost his way. because varric tethras can talk anyone out of anything, can't he? anders was just too dodgy and self-centred and cut everyone off just like solas did but this time varric is completely prepared. surely. absolutely.

he could have never talked anders out of it even if he had known what was coming. he could have never talked solas out of it either. anders was a desperate person standing against (as varric himself put it) forces he couldn't possibly defeat. solas was a god standing against a couple of mortals and his own conscience buried under his guilt and regrets. being a good friend would not stop meredith's oppression. being a good friend would not stop someone who fears so much that all of the atrocities he committed were for nothing and would mean nothing at the end. varric died because he didn't realize it. he died and left his second in command with an immense guilt because they believed he knew solas enough to pull that off and there's something tragic about it

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Squinting intensely at Will as he says that after thousands and thousands of years the bigfoot world suddenly looks like the 1950s (albeit like the Jetsons version). Mr. Campos that's a rather suspicious thing to say paired with that other suspicious thing people picked up on you saying in episode 1. You know, this:

🤨 Anything you want to share with the class, Will?

[naga-raja-suresh]

The shirt had been an unforseen request but in the end Suresh had moved past it. Obviously the witch had a reason. But the question was quickly pushed to the back of his mind in favor of more immediate and enjoyable things. To focus in on this lovely and rare ancient and allow himself an enjoyment in a comradere Suresh didn't often get. And there had been just a moment that he had felt the witch fall and give over just as he had done. And that was where Suresh's god waited. In the fulfillment of the desire. Out past any thought of good or evil. All his god asked for was a surrender, large or small. To experience the fleeting sense that everything you could ever want could be yours. No magic was used on his part. But it was the price Suresh paid for who he was, Tantalean punishment. A small sasiation to his own endless need.

They were both dangerous creatures. Nothing lived so long without being so. But the draw had been strong. And there was no need to make an enemy right away. You could learn a lot about someone by the way they had sex. The things they enjoyed. Suresh lay on his stomach, the blue scales down his back a soft shimmery pattern in the low light. His head turned to the side and propped under his arms so he could look at the witch, feeling the other's hand on his skin. Drawing formless shapes against him.

Suresh shifted when Corvinus spoke. The words giving him a better understanding of where the witch's mind was. "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. But be careful how you answer my ego is actually very fragile." Suresh said as he chuckled and he turned himself over, sitting up. Reaching out and lighting a cigarette. Offering it to the witch. He rarely killed lovers right after sex. At least not on purpose. But he hadn't worried as much about that possibility since the witch was immortal.

At the accusation that he hadn't allowed Corvinus enough fun by playing the drunk the Naga grinned. "I could have. But there is nothing interesting about a drunk man starting a fight in a club... There is something very interesting about a man pretending to be drunk starting a fight in a club though." He reached out and brushed the fingers of his empty hand long the edge of the undershirt and Corvinus' shoulder. "Ah, are we talking about next time? We can add some more roleplay next time. And maybe I'll let you see all of me... if I get to see all of you."

He'd only made the same insistence he always did: leave the shirt on. Hide away the warped and twisted flesh that were only signs of weakness. But he'd allowed himself to fall into the one tied to desire. The other leaders didn't concern him much but this one, oh this one could bring him endless misery and what Corvinus would class as his greatest threat. That just made it all the more desirable, all the more tempting. To have something he should never have, that put him at immense risk even if he couldn't just be killed. It was like an addiction to danger and to the power of another drawing him in.

It was after as he lay there, partially sitting up, one hand tracing small patterns around the flesh of the Naga in thought. Honestly, it hadn't been planned. He had hoped he could pass as the drunk fool but when he had been so quickly called out, the plans had changed. There was the brief thought that he could try now. Grab the sharpest thing and try to jab it into Suresh's neck. But both of them were vulnerable in the moment and Corvinus knew better than to push his luck. He should be so glad Suresh hadn't felt threatened by his arrival and had not lashed out against another ancient being.

"I daresay that most wouldn't get to indulge in something like that." Not just the sex, that was...fine. But the feeling of both doom and enjoyment. Knowing that at any moment, the dynamics could shift and that there would be a struggle on their hands. Laying twisted in the sheets, there was still that feeling lingering though now he was more in his own mind, primed to defend if need be. "Though you could have at least let me have my fun a little longer by playing along when I was drunk. I do so enjoy a good game of pretend. Next time, I'll be sure to wear more cologne so you can't tell." His lips pulled into a soft smirk, teasing his little host of the moment.

[acourtofquestions]

Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.

Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.

Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.

A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.

He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.

They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.

[sysig]

Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)

[chatdae]

Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.

And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!

(this is about The Boys season four)

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭

[lovelyisadora]

Milo finds out abt marcias numerous traumas and then every time she acts weird he has to play a game of "is it the trauma or just typical marcia fuckery" and its like a solid 50/50

no for real!! from her perspective he’s just sitting there calmly drinking his tea or whatever but internally he’s like !! okay let me list potential traumas and figure this out and when it isn’t any of those things he’s like whew okay she’s just weird!

[thecherrygod]

currently thinking about lighthouse keeper hdb and ship captain kim kitsuragi................

like.. look. hes in the lighthouse. alone. only company his skills and some alcohol to also keep himself warm in the winter. most interactions he has are the people that he gets stuff for his own survival. dora's been out of the picture for a looooooong time now, he wasnt around often, the pay isnt relayable, and every time she met him he was worse, so she left. all he has is himself, and the lighthouse.

there are times in which the light will reflect on the fog in the ocean, and he will see her in there, as if she was a guardian angel with long blonde hair who would take any ship coming nearby into her hands as toy boats, and she could decide if theyd make it to safety, or if shed just drown it on a whim. all he can do is manifest her with the lights, but her actions are her own.

and then theres kim, the diligent captain of a ship that has all the love in his heart, something he can use to move through fog and pale alike without losing himself to his surroundings, always ready to make sure him and as many as his men survive what the sea has to offer them, but he knows its dangerous, all of them do, everyone is ready to lose their lives if it comes to it. storms and tides and an inavility to see through the weather, they are all ready to manouver the ship or die trying.

thankfully at the worst times, theres always a helping hand, a guiding light helping him move in the right direction, making sure hes able to keep them as safe as possible even through the worst storms and the densest of fogs hes ever seen.