#but after we talked abt the girlies yesterday

[feveredblurs]

@apaise​

after attending so many of these parties over the years, they start to blend together. they’re always the same. erin’s mother dresses her up in the finest gowns and shows her off to ravka’s best, while putting on the mask of picture perfect parent. the other guests rave about how she manages it all, being an influential political figure and a family woman, and sylvia will feign modesty while feeding on their compliments. ironically, erin always fades to the background during those exchanges, unimportant and forgotten.

tonight, they play their roles to perfection     doting mother and sweet daughter. sylvia even sparks conversation for a potential engagement in the horizon for erin. she’s old enough already, after all. it’s just a matter of time before she’s to wed a son of someone equally powerful and prestigious. no aspect of erin’s life is more than a calculated move to her mother; not her future nor her feelings.

normally, erin would wait for the conversation to steer away from her to take her leave, and then hide near the band or the food table. no one would notice her missing. but this time there’s someone who might actually enjoy her company. erin’s wary of labelling them as friends ( would that be too much? ), but she and chrissy got along fairly well, much to her surprise. despite being a grisha soldier, erin’s parents loved her     she was the exception among her peers ( the exception next to even erin herself if her parents found out, she’d bet ). but instead of neglecting erin like everyone else, chrissy would actually spend time with her of her own volition. she’d try her hardest to make her laugh, and even succeed sometimes. against all odds, erin found herself enjoying their time together as well.

chrissy’s on duty tonight, guarding the family from any potential party crashers. erin hopes she can slip into her side without bothering her work ( a bold move from her, who never takes the initiative )     but just as she’s crossing the ballroom to find her, her stride is cut short. a young man plants himself in front of her, greeting her with a sweet smile. erin has an inkling of having seen him before. she remembers him as ivan, the son of a ravkan ambassador     someone sylvia had taken an instant liking to. was she trying to speed up the proposal process, putting in a good word for her daughter?

erin tries her best to be polite, keeping the conversation as neutral as possible. he compliments her, and erin’s sheepish in thanking him for his kindness     all an act, trained countless times right down to the small curve of her lips. she could not care less if he thought her beautiful; he was following instructions, just like erin.

no amount of generic replies are enough to make him leave. either he’s determined to win her favor, or simply oblivious to her disinterest; erin’s not sure which is worse. she wonders where chrissy would be right now. had she fallen in place with her old grisha friends? or perhaps found someone new and exciting to flirt with for the night? erin hates how unsettled both scenarios, the latter in particular, make her.

just as she entertains the idea of excusing herself with some made-up reason, ivan loses his balance suddenly and drops right to the floor. the impact is barely heard above the music playing, yet it startles erin all the same. instinctively, she looks around, wondering if her mother had witnessed it     but all she sees is chrissy, standing a few feet away. there’s nothing immediately suspicious about her behavior... to the untrained eye. so much time spent at chrissy’s side means she knows her. she knows the way her hands move when they summon the wind, the little pleased smile on her lips whenever she does a trick to impress mike. the apple fallen at the boy’s side must be the weapon     and he the target.

had she done it to help? if anyone could notice erin’s discomfort even under layers of trained expressions, it would be chrissy. she always seemed to see right through her.

ivan’s groaning pulls erin back to reality, and she’s quick to help him get up. “ are you alright? someone must’ve bumped against the food table and knocked down some apples. ” she sells her lie with a warm smile; whatever the reason for chrissy’s actions, erin would not out her.

more complaints from the noble are met with understanding nods     erin even offers to report the situation to someone in charge, ready to use that as her escape plan. it’s all for nothing, however, when chrissy actually appears at her side a moment later... accompanied by someone. judging by the girl's expensive set of jewelry, she’s likely a noble as well. she wears a scowl on her features, and has a firm grip on chrissy’s arm.

erin worries she witnessed chrissy’s stunt with the apple, but the girl promptly proves her wrong. “ this grisha stole my earrings! ” she shrieks, face scrunching as she puffs her chest. “ my favorite earrings! ” thievery? erin’s expression blanches at the accusation. chrissy could slack off on the job sometimes, and even suggest unbecoming escapades for a soldier... but she would never do something like this. the hawthornes’ belongings had remained untouched since her arrival after all.

the girl continues her sad tale, painting chrissy as the terrible villain who used her power to pluck the jewelry right from her ears. ivan seems emboldened by her woes, and erin soon understands why; they’re siblings. “ it’s always the same with you grisha. you think you can do as you please with us because we have no magic like you. ” he hisses the words at chrissy as he takes a step closer, only a few inches separating their faces now. “ but you work for us. we’re the reason you get such cushy lives in os alta. ” ivan slams an accusatory finger against chrissy’s shoulder. “ so don’t you think you can go around    ”

“ actually! ” erin finally intervenes, speaking without allowing herself a second thought. her own voice sounds too loud in her ears     but she can’t let chrissy be spoken to like this. “ those are her earrings. chrissy works for my family. ”

clasping her hands so they won’t shake, erin places herself at chrissy’s side, with a gentle tug to pull her away from ivan. “ she would never steal, i assure you. ” she remembers sylvia’s hardened expression from earlier, when telling erin she had no choice but to accept the oncoming engagement. she mimics it to perfection, any trace of the sweet, quiet girl vanished now.

“ and i’m sure my mother won’t be pleased to hear you’re accusing someone she personally approved of. ” 

[awrkive]

Wer is grumpy jk! We badly need it 😫😭

summary: you and jungkook are getting closer, moving forward – but to where, exactly? what does that entail for your relationship? 

w/c: 3.3k

note: this is for all the girlies who asked for part 2 for this drabble. nothing but fluff in here ): ive been thinking abt college jk lately and i lowkey like this grumpy!jk guy… basically this takes place two months after the first drabble u may read this amm for grumpy!jk for a brief bg on what their relationship has become before u go read this parr. anyway the ending is a bit diabolical and im saying sorry in advance

also pls listen to come here by kath bloom, its literally so them 😮‍💨😖

It’s almost natural the way Jungkook immediately slings his backpack on one shoulder, heads straight out of the lecture hall, and starts the almost ten-minute walk from his department building to yours the moment his last class for the day was dismissed. 

He waits outside by the hallway along the lecture room, scrolling through his phone mindlessly, knowing that any minute now you’ll be coming out of the door. 

And just as a slew of students’ chattering becomes louder, their heavy footsteps coming out from the hall, Jungkook instantly spots you; talking to a friend animatedly – Joy, maybe? – before you look to the other side and finally see him. 

“Jungkook!” You exclaim with excitement, smiling up at him and even doing a little wave. Jungkook watches as you turn to your friend. “Sorry, I gotta go. Zoom meeting at five, right?” He hears you say before she nods, bidding your goodbyes to each other before she goes in the opposite direction while you saunter towards him with that usual dashing grin on your face. 

Jungkook meets you halfway, lips curling up slightly at your enthusiastic greeting. Even more so when you don’t fight off the way he goes for your tote bag, taking it off your shoulder and wearing it on his own, the weight not adding that much to his own bag perched on his back. 

He remembers the first time he tried to do it (awkwardly, might he add), and you vehemently refused. But Jungkook can be persistent sometimes when he wants to, and eventually you gave up trying to resist.

Currently, as you walk along the hallway out of your building, standing close together, Jungkook tries not to think too much about how easy this feels. Like it’s normal the way you immediately interlock your arm around his own, skipping a little bit upon your walk as you begin speaking.

“You really did cut your hair.” You marvel at him when he looks down at you. And he can’t help it; the blood rushing to his cheeks and certainly on his ears. 

“I sent you a picture.” He simply says. It was yesterday. He originally went to his barber for just a trim but he remembers you saying something about a particular actor’s haircut… and look, it’s not like he was trying to look like that man but it may have influenced the decision a little bit… 

Anyway, he thinks it looks okay on him. He trusts his barber and Hoseok said it suits him. From your response, you also said it looks nice. 

And you tell him so. “I like it! You look so good. Especially with this frame!” You point to his eyeglasses, smiling up at him. “I was thinking you were just sending me a random picture last night.” 

Jungkook chuckles. “I wasn't, and uh, thank you.”

“You're welcome. Anyway,” you say, “Did you wait for long earlier? Sorry ‘bout that. Prof. Shin had to extend a little bit ‘cause there were a lot of questions about our new project.” 

“You have a new project?”

“Yeah, but nothing really heavy. Just a hotel lobby interior design. We got a week and it’s a paired task thing, that’s why you saw me with Joy earlier—”

He sees a flock of students ahead huddling by your side of the pathwalk, and because you have a tendency to not really pay that much attention to your surroundings, he takes you by the waist slightly to avoid bumping with them, causing you to stumble closer to him. 

You crane your neck to look behind you for a moment, gaze falling back up to Jungkook with widened eyes. “Sorry.” you say with a jutted lip and a little frown. 

“It’s okay.” Jungkook says with a reassuring smile. He means it. He likes being close like this and if you don’t watch your surroundings, he’ll just do it for you. He doesn’t mind. 

You grin. “Anyway… I was saying, it’s a hotel interior. But! The thing is, it’s a themed hotel, which I’m really excited about ‘cause I’m tired of designing contemporary, luxury ones. They always tend to be so redundant.” 

Jungkook nods. “I think so too. What’s the themed hotel about?” 

“Have you heard of a film called Metropolis?” He shakes his head. You nod at that. “Well, yeah, me neither. At least a week ago. Prof gave it to us as an assignment and it’s a silent film from the ‘20s. A sci-fi tale, so very futuristic – at least for that time. So that’s the theme of the hotel, right, and Joy and I immediately thought of art deco.” 

Jungkook intently listens as you go on about your initial ideas, and he doesn’t even have to worry about the terms he doesn’t understand because you always take time to explain it to him in layman’s. It’s funny, really, because ever since he’s learned that you study interior design and started to talk to him about it, he found himself taking interest in it as well. Two months ago, he couldn't have given a single care about a couple named Charles and Ray Eames and their weird chair called La Chaise, but here he is, anyway.

Maybe it’s because of the way you so passionately talk about it. Your zeal oozes out so much when it comes up as the topic of conversation, and there’s always been something about you that pulls people right in. And Jungkook’s at peace with himself now that he’s just one of those people. 

He’s willing to be pulled right in, anyway. You don’t exactly make it hard to. 

And Jungkook finds that the newfound dynamic between you two isn’t… so bad. He finds excitement at the prospect of seeing you after his classes are concluded, going to Fro-yo for a quick snack because you’re obsessed with it, and studying together at his place later in the day.

A lot of people would say he’s making up for all the times he’s ignored you. The times when he pretended to not care about you. The times when he was just unprovokedly mean and treated you the way he regrets now. And sure, it may have started that way. Ever since your Environmental Science project was finished and the term was over, Jungkook started to feel like he couldn’t go back to the life where you weren’t within his perimeter. Couldn’t imagine you both being back to – practically – regular strangers, so he just… opened up to you more.

He shares his own stories now. Tells you about his day after you do so, and invites you to Fro-yo and other cafes and restaurants around campus whenever your schedules align. 

And maybe at first it was, indeed, because he was trying to make up for his past behavior – but that may have only been what he convinced himself of for the first few weeks. When the week stretched into months and the months suddenly involved you doing sleepovers at his place whenever his roommate, Hoseok, is not around, Jungkook is starting to question himself if this is all still about simply making it up to you. 

Because frankly, he’s starting to feel like it's a little more than that.

He’s not just buying you frozen yogurt and helping you with any assignment (that requires his silly and minuscule math and science expertise) and letting you borrow and keep his hoodies and shirts whenever you sleep over because he’s trying to make up for the past – he’s doing all of these because he genuinely enjoys your company and would like to do more for you… with you… to you… and just… just more. 

He wants more with you. 

And every single day is a daunting battle for his internal mullings. 

Because he knows he’s been stupid all this time not to realize right away that he’s got romantic feelings for you. That his confusion when it comes to you didn't come from the reason that you were extremely extroverted and had way too much energy – it was that those things made him like you and his little heart and brain couldn’t comprehend any of it the way he can easily wrap his head around math equations and concepts.

But he keeps himself on the sidelines. Thinks about keeping himself there until he’s sure of what you truly think about. 

You’re always nice to him. But you’re kind of nice to everybody… so that gets him a little twisted.

On Monday, when you were supposed to hang out – when you usually sleep over at his place, you bailed on him to study with Jae, as per Taehyung's words, your mutual friend.

He just can’t tell if the way you treat him is different to the way you treat everyone else, and that’s what’s been on his mind lately. 

“Oh, Kookie,” you say as soon as Jungkook takes out his keys, going for his keyfob when you arrive at the parking area. He looks at you in question, completely ignoring the way his heart flutters a little at the nickname. He kind of hates it, thinks it's too childish when other people call him that – but with you it sounds so much like an endearment, so he doesn't protest. You press your lips into a thin line before you say, “I can’t go to Fro-yo today. Joy and I agreed to have a zoom meeting later to start conceptualizing.” 

“Oh,” Jungkook blinks. “Rain check?” 

You pout. “Yeah.” 

“You can do it at my place? Hoseok’s doing an all-nighter with his study group, so he won’t be there ‘til the morning.”

“But I didn’t bring my laptop today.”

With furrowed brows, Jungkook steps closer to you. “It’s alright. We can drive to your place, get your laptop then go to mine,” he smiles. “Sleepover?” 

Jungkook doesn’t want to toot his own horn but he may have seen your face light up at that. But it comes off easily and he begins to worry.

“I want to, but I don’t want to impose.” You say. 

Instantly, Jungkook’s forehead creases. “You won’t be imposing.” When he sees that you’re about to decline again, he lets out a, “Please?” 

At that, you stop. You stare at him for a moment. 

“Uh…” you trail off. “You sure? Are you not busy tonight?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll probably start on an assignment so we can be both busy–” you nudge his arm at that, laughing. “– but other than that, no. I’ll cook us something. Or do you want to get take-out instead?” 

“I’d really, really appreciate your black bean noodles tonight.” You muse, looking at him like he holds the stars in the sky. With you gazing up at him like that, how can he say no?

“I think we have the ingredients in the fridge. Black bean noodles it is, then.” Jungkook says before you’re muffling your own squeal in your excitement, saying your little delighted “thank you” when Jungkook ushers you in the passenger seat after opening it for you. 

He rounds the car before he settles on his side, and when he starts the engine, he can’t help but smile slightly at the way you lean comfortably on your seat, as if you’re so used to being in his car – which you are.

And Jungkook finds he likes that. He likes you that way; being used to being around him. 

“You’re done?” Jungkook looks up from his computer, seeing you doing some arm stretches and leaning into his gaming chair to do it on your neck as well. 

“Yep.” 

“Then come here already.” He shuts his laptop close, places it on the bedside table, and pats the space on the mattress next to him. 

It’s nearly 10pm and your zoom meeting with Joy went for nearly 4 hours. You got on it immediately after you two ate your dinner, and like clockwork, asked to borrow one of Jungkook’s shirts because your top was getting a little too uncomfortable on your body. You’ve both already showered – separately, of course – and that’s one of the many things that Jungkook smiles about when he enters his bathroom sometimes. Because the fact that you shower in his bathroom means your essentials are slowly making a space for themselves in his own place; the yellow cup holder of your toothbrush sits next to his blue one, and a bottle of your moisturizer is also in his lavatory cabinet. 

“‘M so tired” You let yourself fall on the mattress, bouncing a little on it face down, sprawling across the bed like some starfish, your other hand landing on Jungkook’s abdomen. 

“Meeting went well?” Jungkook asks, and he’s a little disappointed when you remove an arm on him, but that’s okay, because soon you’re leaning sidewards to properly look at him and it makes him smile to see you so cozy like this. Barefaced and in his shirt. 

“Yeah, we got some work done,” You say. Jungkook watches as you try to get comfortable on your side of the bed. “I think I’m sleepy now.” 

“Yeah?” He follows after you, and he doesn’t hide his huge smile when you go and turn your back to him immediately after he slides his arm under your neck, spooning you from behind. Snuggling closer to him, Jungkook wraps his other arm around your waist and lets out a contented sigh against the back of your head. “My first class is at one thirty pm tomorrow.” 

“I have one at eight am. Then the next one is at ten.” 

“Tough.” 

“I know… I wish I didn’t enlist in morning classes.” 

He chuckles, closing his eyes as he starts to feel that familiar lull of sleep dancing behind his eyes. But truth be told, he doesn’t want to give into that just yet.

“You were with Jae on Monday?” He asks, carefully treading through the subject. It’s Thursday now. It's not like Jungkook’s a jealous guy… it just kind of threw him off a little, because you didn’t tell him you were with Jae. 

“Uh… yeah?” Jungkook feels you freezing in his arms. “How’d you know?” 

“Taehyung told me.” 

“Oh.” He can practically hear the wince. “He has such a big mouth.” You say drily. 

That earns you a laugh from Jungkook. But he decides to take down the jokes for a more honest and open conversation with you tonight. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s not accusatory. It’s soft and gentle, the way he asks it, with his thumb rubbing the exposed skin of your hip due to the hem of your – his – shirt riding up. 

Your answer takes awhile. 

“I was… getting help with estimates.” 

“... Okay,” Jungkook tightens his hold around you, growing confused. “But I’m really good with estimates. I could’ve helped you.” It was easy math for him. And you never shied away from asking him for help before… why now?

“Well, he offered.” 

Jungkook’s brows crease deeper. “That’s not…" he trails off, then continues, "You know you can ask me for anything, right? Jae’s not even on the dean's list. How’d you know he’s teaching you the right stuff?”  

Silence hangs in the air before Jungkook hears your laughter. Shuffling in his arms, Jungkook loosens his hold around you to let you turn to him. When he sees your face, there's a huge grin on it.

“He’s not even on the dean’s list?” You sound intrigued.

Jungkook assumed you were curiously speaking, and so he nods, looking into your eyes seriously. “He isn’t. Look, I’m not saying–” when he notices your smile only getting wider by the second, he realizes you’re just trying to fuck with him, so Jungkook cuts himself off, letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I sound like an asshole.”

You scoot closer until both the front of your bodies are stuck. Jungkook tries not to think too much whether you’re wearing a bra underneath his shirt or not. 

You shake your head. “Not really. I believe you’re way smarter than him.” 

“Then why come to him and not me?” 

You stare at him for a moment, then you let out a heavy breath. “I just feel like you’re doing so many things for me nowadays. You were also really busy on Monday– don’t deny it–” you say before he opens his mouth to oppose that. He shuts his lips close, listening to you go on instead. “– and I was just being considerate. Jae offered because we saw and sat next to each other at the library, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

Jungkook blinks, processing your words. After a pregnant pause, he slowly nods, still dumbstruck. 

“Ah… okay. I understand.” he says, embarrassment slowly filling his system. 

You smile at him. Playfully. “Sorry for asking help from someone who’s not on the dean’s list.” Jungkook drops his expression into a poker face at that, which makes you laugh even more. You nibble on your bottom lip before you stretch your hand to his cheek and pinch it. He doesn’t bother dodging your hand. With a giggle, you say, “Sorry, sorry. That was just so funny. You’re so funny without even trying sometimes, you know?” 

“Not really.” Jungkook says and you can tell the tell-tale signs of his grumpiness starting to kick in.

What he doesn’t expect is the way you suddenly squeal and launch yourself on top of him, causing him to lie fully on his back with you sprawled all over his body, hugging him tight and burying your face in his chest. 

“You’re so cuddly and warm. Can we stay like this for awhile?” You break away from his chest and look at him from a low angle. 

Jungkook meets your gaze. 

Sure, you’ve been cuddling (platonically) all these past few months – but they never went to this length. And he’s not sure what the difference is, anyway – just that you’re much closer like this and Jungkook can feel everything. Still, that doesn’t deter him from wrapping his arms around your waist, slightly locking you in the position. Quite frankly, he doesn’t even want you to move. 

“Alright.” Is his simple answer. Not like he needed to think about it.

“I’ll sleep now, okay?” But you don’t wait for his response before you lay on his chest again with your cheek pressed on his hoodie.

Because the moment just feels right somehow, Jungkook lets his hand wander on your head. Then slowly, he lets his fingers comb through the strands of your hair, tentatively at first, lest you didn’t want him touching you or something like that – but once he hears a sound akin to a purr coming from you, he continues and finds himself getting comforted by the action as well. 

“The Jae thing really bothered you?” You ask suddenly, not breaking away from the position you’ve assumed on top of his body. But your words are slightly slurred in the haze of sleep.

Jungkook hums. “Yes.” 

“Sorry for not telling you myself.” 

“It’s okay,” Jungkook reassures you. His gaze falls to the ceiling, hand still caressing your hair. The surface is empty, and there’s not really much going on. Meanwhile, in your own bedroom, you have those glow in the dark star stickers pasted on your white ceiling. He’s never slept over there, but he thinks it would be nice to lay under your makeshift galaxy with your homely scent surrounding the two of you. “Are you not gonna ask why I was bothered?” He says after a beat. 

“I was gonna. But I think I know.” You answer, and Jungkook doesn’t expect that one bit.

He stops his ministrations on your hair, and it’s obvious that you’re about to question it when you suddenly peel your face away from his chest again. 

When you do, Jungkook meets your gaze and with a leveled tone, he asks the question he’s been mulling about for the past two months.

“__, what are we?” 

[my-castles-crumbling]

oh my GOD the weirdest thing just happened to me and I NEED ur advice.

So basically, I have this friendship group of like eleven annoying idiots (love ‘em all), and me.

Two of them and me r in the marauders fandom. We’re all 16 btw, just finished GCSEs!!!!!!!!! This is THE summer!!!!!

Anyways, we have ONE couple in our friendship group (that gives rosekiller vibes ngl) and a few others are dating people but not from inside the group (not much group-cest).

So like yesterday, we were all hanging out at one of our houses and I turn to my best mate in the group (who’s also a marauder girlie) and say “isn’t it so weird that our friendship group doesn’t have a wolfstar ship.” cause like ngl, we do give marauder era friendship vibes.

AND EVERYONES GOES SILENT???????? Like people were halfway thru words and they SHUT up. They always ignore us when we talk abt the marauders.  

So I turn to everyone and go “what’s with the silence, half of u don’t even know what wolfstar is.”

And one of them goes “we might not know shit about harry potter but someone’s definitely mentioned wolfstar a few times”. 

AND SHE LOOKS AT ONE OF OUR FRIENDS.

I assume I shouldn’t use her real name her so imma just call her Clara (she loves TS Clara Bow song so-).

Clara blushes REAL red and looks down and whispers for the person who said that to shut up.

So I say “Hang on, I thought we weren’t allowed to blab abt the marauders after *my best mate* and *another person in the group* argued over who hated JKR the most? For three hours.”

And the girl from before who apparently knows what wolfstar is says “Yeah- except when we’re watching wolfstar happen, of course we have to know what it is.”

HUH,

So I furrow my eyes brows at her and she goes “you know” which I DONT.

And then my best mate rolls her eyes and says “we do have a wolfstar in this friendship group dumbass.” 

LIKE WHO OKAY? 

Anyway, we sorta moved on. And when I tried to hound my best mate later that night she wouldn’t tell me shit. She just kept saying “no. you know all the ships in our friendship group. we aren’t keeping the wolfstar one from you.”

ANYWAY I went home and THEN it occurred to me that… ME. I could be in the wolfstar ship our friends were talking abt. Otherwise I would KNOW, since I always know.

And there’s only one person they all ship me with in our group, Clara. 

SO I TEXT MY BEST MATE LIKE, WAHT RHE FUCK GIRL YOUVE BEEN SHIPING ME WITH SOMEONE SECRETLY

and she says, she hasn’t been shipping us secretly she’s been shipping us to my face

and so I say, that it wasn’t serious until she compared me to my FAV marauders couple

and so she says, WELL IM GLAD U NOW FEEL ITS SERIOUS 

and so I say, how dare u compare me to remus, I love him but he’s def not me. 

and she says, IM NOT BITCH YOURE SIRIUS

so I say, SIRIUS? 

and she says, SIRIUS!

And I say, girl how? 

And she says, how about the fact that ur family are psychos and u really need to move out. How abt because ur an idiot who can’t see what’s right in front of her? How about your a demi bi queer chaotic mess who can’t recognise what could be the love of your life if she literally kissed you on the cheek which she FUCKING DID

so I say, … that was platonic? 

And she says, I hate you (jk I love u) but no rlly I hate u so much. WHAT RHE FUCK DUDE. 

So I say, wait, u don’t think she has a crush on me do u? 

and she says, I FUCKING HATE U HOW R U THIS DUMB.

(this is all taking place over text in case I hadn’t made that clear).

So i say, JUST CAUSE SHES GAY DOESNT MEAN SHE FANCIES ME.

And she says, NO BUT KISSING UR CHEEK AND ASKING U OUT ON SINGLE DATES AND BEINF SAD WHEN U GET A BF AND SPENDING ALL HER TIME WITH TOU DOES MEAN SHE FANCIES U DUMBASS.

So I say, has she told you? 

And she says, u know I can’t say either way.

So I say, so no. She doesn’t. 

AND RHEN I STOP REPLYING.

But now I think she might. 

Which is awkward. Look i’m not like- straight or anything, but I never get crushes, who has the time to care honestly. 

And I don’t wanna be like, oh my friend who’s a lesbian ObViOuSlY has a crush on ME. I’m not like, Erin in Derry Girls. UGH. 

But in hindsight, she HAS seemed bothered whenever I talk about boyfriends (which isn’t that often cause again, who has the fucking time). 

And she did NOT like my ex. Which was only sort of fair personality wise.

And like yes, technically, we have hung out solo and then she kissed my cheek. But like, we’re just really good friends.

ALSO how dare my best mate compare me to Sirius. Sure my parents are evil but they’re NOT RICH. I mean if you’re gonna be horrific at least be rich right? 

And here’s the thing, if I bring it up and Clara does like me- WHAT DO I SAY

and if I bring it up and she doesn’t, i’m that bitch who assumes she does cause she’s gay.

AND if I don’t and she does like me, am I just being ignorant so it’s easier for me. 

Or if i don’t and she doesn’t like me, will I think there’s some weird air here and she won’t even know what’s going on. 

I HATE being in the unknown.

And like I had known our friends shipped us but they’ve done it for like… three years maybe? Not religiously but as a jk. 

So by this point it’s just background noise. but now they’ve compared us to WOLFSTAR (and know what wolfstar is it seems) now I’m like thinking about this.

MAYBE THATS THEIR PLAN. Maybe it’s just a trick to mess with us more. 

But now I can’t help worrying that when we hang out it’s supposed to be a date. Or that time she kissed me was supposed to be a date and I DIDNT REALISE and just rudely ignored her. 

WHAT IF IVE BEEN A BITCH THIS WHOLE TIME? 

Also like yes, she was there for the wolfstar comparison, but idk if SHE knows it was US being compared to them.

Clara doesn’t LOVE the marauders fandom, but she’s lovely and always lets me ramble about it (like I let her ramble abt her books). And so she knows a lot of lore, specifically about Wolfstar. 

So idk if she knew it was abt us, or if she’s just like realising now.

Also, and here’s the weird part, I care. 

I never give a shit usually, about whoever has a crush on me or whatever. I just do what I want and deal with other people later. But now it’s my friend, my really lovely and funny and sweet and beautiful and kind friend and I don’t want to hurt her.

BUT MAYBE I WONT. Cause maybe she doesn’t even like me so it’s nothing to worry abt. 

WHO KNOWS ANYMORE.

Anyway, that’s the story. Got any advice for me Cas? ALSO congrats on your new school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boy.

First of all- babe, it sounds like you're the last to know about all this. But I'm glad you're aware now. Welcome to the party!

Also- "my really lovely and funny and sweet and beautiful and kind friend" uhm. do you wanna say that again? And tell me there's no feelings there?

I mean, I'm not gonna tell you how you feel but it sounds like you need to stop overthinking and just spend some time with Clara. Because it could be that you're overlooking something great, here. Stop getting in your head and just feel for a bit. Wolfstar is a superior ship for a reason :D

Naming you wolfstar anon

[hockeygossipdaily]

What party are we talking abt?? that d went to? (Allegedly)

Anon stated this morning that they saw Trevor, Kate, and Dixie at a restaurant in West Hollywood with friends to celebrate her clothing collab after the ducks event yesterday. I was suspicious because he would’ve needed to drive an hour there, eat, and drive back.

Then I texted ucla anon asking if girlie pop went to his house and she said she did and said she was “at her mans house”.

Now Dixie is posting from Paris and I suspect she’s been there for a few days meaning that she wasn’t in California yesterday and most likely there was no party

[diddybok]

OOOOH ok interesting - first and foremost, guy best friend is a FLOP for being so lazy with your friendship, because you were initially interested in letting things get interesting, but now that HE'S trying to do that ON TOP of historically being flaky with the friendship? like no heaven forbid he goes out of his way during the day but oh at night when he's feeling it you have to? LIKE MATE BE FOR REAL AND be respectful?? it really seems like he likes you right now - did he seem disappointed after you kissed the friend?

if you're over him and his flakiness, then by all means drop him, you deserve infinitely better than waiting for him to want to see you - you deserve someone, a best friend, bf, something else or both, who would love to see you any time of the day and is ACTIVE in seeking you out 💕 i've been through a similar-ish situation with a flaky guy friend showing some level of interest, and a stalker girl mutual friend who seemingly encouraged him and i, but goes off to have a whole ordeal with him after mild things happened between the guy and i, when he apparently was "in love" with her the whole time? that's irrelevant 😭

my point is, i have tried to stay neutral with him the whole time, even though i knew him longer. it would be nice if none of this happened and we could still talk normally, but i'm not interested in trying to fix it, so being neutral is the way to go, rather than dropping him completely, to save the awkwardness. if you were to be neutral with him then you could potentially keep his door open if something were to happen in the future, which might be useful?? but it seems like you're pretty interested in mr uni pookie 😏😏😏😏😏😏 I SHIP IT

all the best with the two of these guys, and i guess just have fun with it?? enjoy the ride 🤪 always here if you want to chat or vent, or spill more tea 😊

omg this is like girl/chix talk time and i want to make it a regular occurrence where we all just talk abt shit happening in our lives atm! obvs not forcing anyone to!

okay imma start by saying REAL!!! i think in this case i would just put a hard line of it being strictly platonic. i already started to distance myself from him and i think he kinda caught on yesterday when i wasn’t entertaining it like i would have in the past.

but yeah all feelings for him are, and i can confidently say, gone🧌 but yeah no the other guy is so cute i wanna squish his cheeks😣

BUT WOAH??? youRE tea?!?! stalker girl and your friend😲 that’s acc kinda crazy. oh my god that would make me feel so, just, my eye would be TWITCHIN! the audacity. i strongly dislike girls like that, boys is a given because they do it to themselves by being themselves,, but the girls that try to set it up KNOWING behind your back they’re pulling a madness?

yeah you’re done for mate.

i woulda instantly removed myself from both of them. probably the guy too because wdym you were in love with her but talking like that with me? how are you to act then if we got into a relationship. next thing you know you get the “hey girly i know you don’t know me but-”😭😭

but i’m not getting my hopes up for uni boy, rather im already preparing for it all to be a purely just friends situation which 😀 is fine because he’s a good mate, so i guess it’d be a win win if it goes either way! but again no getting my hopes up. because i’ve learnt my lesson too many times whilst ignoring the facts and ended up getting all upset when i grew to attached😪

anyways that was fun, thank you for fuelling this little talk time with me!

[scentofpines]

long ass text

yesterday was one of those days where i felt like the whole world really did conspire against me. when i was at the train station i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be the girl from the welcome event last week that i got along with really well but hadnt seen since and guess why?? she switched programs. to ECONOMICS :| and we were on the train together for 30 minutes and usually that wouldve killed me to do with someone i dont know well but we were really vibing and this makes me so fucking mad, i was really looking forward to having courses with her :(

then i had a seminar (the one abt women and gender history) and it sucked. the lecturer seemed nice (albeit in a bit of a manic way) but the thing is a) half of the seminar will be reading this AWFUL book about basically the history of gender history/philosophy which i tried to force myself to read a few weeks ago and gave up after 40 pages bc i didnt get ANYTHING. and she said repeatedly how well written and understandable that book is :))) and b) even though i asked her via mail before i signed up for the course what the exam will look like and she said its a written one now she came out and said we will have to do a book presentation. and, like a normal presentation would be bad enough but doable but a book presentation?? presenting a modern scientific book about a topic instead of just presenting the topic itself seems so fucking useless to me????? i think i will drop out of this course and do a lecture abt prehistoric drugs instead bc i genuinely dont have the energy for weirdly structured stupid classes anymore.

today we were SUPPOSED to have a lecture about greek archaeology and the dude who was supposed to do it just didnt fucking show up???? we waited for 50 minutes and then just left lmao. i just looooveeed taking a stinky, 3 hour long (there and back again) train ride for nothing.

but at least i got to know two girls i guess. i already chatted with one of them on whatsapp and we talked about ukrainian/russian folk music which she also likes lol and i complimented her name, which is kinda arrogant bc i have the same one lmao just spelled differently bc hers is transcribed from ukrainian. and then she complimented mine back lol. so she seemed pretty nice and the other girl too, buttttt they are...idk extremely girly girlypop perfectly styled girls and i always feel soooo weird and out of place with women like that.

oh god and at one point they both said that they were "for real on the spectrum". bro. BRO. i have literally NEVER seen more well adjusted women who had ZERO issue conversing in this full loud ass room for 50 mins straight, who also had customer service jobs that they can do with basically no issue and that were completely chill just randomly chatting with ppl they dont know well. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING AUTISTIC. YES I TAKE THIS LABEL AWAY FROM YOU. ITS NOT YOURS. MY LEFT ASS CHEEK IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN BOTH OF YOU COMBINED but i still dont go around telling ppl im on this fucking "sPeCtRuM". this term has become so meaningless. i cant imagine how absolutely awful actually autistic ppl have to feel with everyone nowadays basically appropriating their (often) life ruining disorder if i already feel like shit. i know ppl dont mean it like that but it feels so mocking.

and tomorrow i have to get up at 6:30am and drive there again and i will probably get my presentation topic for this other course. but at least i will be back home at 1pm and then i wont have to go to uni for friday and the weekend. its only week 2 and i already feel so awful. oh and btw i fucking miss my fav professor so much it hurts, i know men are evil blabla but i have insane father hunger sometimes (i think thats what its called) and my god. would i do anthing for him to be my father. and then i see my actual father and i just want to throw up and kill either him or myself. genuinely my prof has shown me more loving consideration than my father in the last 15+ years. ok now you know the depths of my pathetic soul if you read this far congrattssss and goodnight

[kittybitezz]

i actually NEED to write it down i miss her sm and she did me so good yesterday...

okieee so its pretty common that i dont wear any panties when im over at her place hehe

anyways i was already dripping cuz she made out with me several times in the kitchen (girlie was making me pancakes while shoving her tongue in my mouth ♡) aaaand after that we went to eat in her living room and she grabbed us a beer and istg i got even needier after drinking it...

and i tried not to be horny and pathetic on her couch i swear :(( but i couldnt help it when i was literally dripping down my thighs... so i started tease mommy a lil,,, sitting in a way that made my skirt hike up or putting my legs over her lap ((she has a thing for my thighs and it makes her so horny :3))

somehow it ended with me grinding on her thigh needily and begging and whining for mommy so she grabbed condoms and flipped us over but told me that i need to earn it first ehehe

sooooo i went down on mommy like a pro and she praised me so much and pet my hair while telling me how well im taking her cock :3

she gently pushed me off eventually and told me ive been so good for mommy i deserve to have my cunt stuffed full of mommys cock shnjdjdjndjs so she made me get on top and ride her and FUCK i love riding her the way she guides my hips and thrusts up into me and fondles with my breasts and squishes my chubby tummy and sides ohhh shes driving me crazyyyyy i creamed around mommys cock sm it was dripping down towards her balls and ass....

i got tired quickly tho bcs i have poor stamina :(( so she flipped us over and told me to bend over hnghnjsnhs

honestly we talked abt positions and stuff earlier and she said she wasnt rlly interested in doggy or any stuff from the back and she finds it boring cuz she cant see my face :(( so i was like oH GODS bcs her living room has full lenght mirrors next to her couch and she made me face the mirror hnjshdhdh

at first it was kinda clumsy cuz were both inexperienced hnjsjdjd but she quickly set the pace and and istg girlie had me moaning on her cock like a pornstar !!! and im usually not very verbal during sex its just incoherent sounds most of the time but she made me moan mommy several times and aughhhh and those mirrors fuck- it was so hot and nasty hnhhjgj

she also did that thing where she slowed down almost stopping to move and when i tried to look at her and ask if everythings okay she pushed my face back in the pillows and rammed into me violently aughhhh and she laughed at me while making me scream >///<

anyways i came so hard and got cuddles while she called me her good girl and pet my hair ^__^ this is literally my dream girl yall i love her sm

ehehe soo shes leaving for the weekend with her fam and we wont see each other until monday.... so yesterday i came over to her place just to cuddle and give her gazillion goodbye kisses

it obviously ended with me getting fucked in several different positions ♡

[prcserpina]

drunk girls are literally the best, i called one of them ‘my love’ and another said ‘am i not your love?’ and i said ‘no you’re my angel’ and she damn near cried