#but a healthy chicken? yeah its good for them

[homeofhousechickens]

Wait, why do people think orange will kill a chicken??

Citric acid can mess with calcium absorption and there are a ton of "infographics" that list it as dangerous as feeding avacodo skin (dont do that) but like i said before citrus fruits have lots of benefits and shouldn't be avoided for only that reason even the peels have beneficial nutrients and I dont worry about the sugar content causing sour crop because citrus fruits are acidic.

But i also think its silly how some chicken keepers avoid fruits in general due to the sugar content somehow being correlated to sour crop (i see no evidence of this) but in my experience chickens only get sour crop due to underlying health conditions or due to impaction via grass or other fibrous material.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

night out

a/n: we back babyyy!!! i haven't been able to stop thinking about these two for fucking months, so i wrote both this aaaaand another part to wrap up their story and get it out of my system.

summary: “I can’t believe you’re fucking jealous right now…”

warnings: bodyguard!bucky barnes x reader x ex!peter parker, light smut, reader’s mom is the british ambassador to france, age gap (10-15 years), tattooed!bucky (both a metal arm and tattoos as picked in a poll by you), beefy!bucky, forbidden romance, bffs kate bishop and yelena belova, french rave, dancing, kissing, over-the-clothes fun, foreplay, references to public sex, choking, manhandling, jealousness, possessiveness, angst, arguments, brat mode activated (though its totally justified), these hoes are not dealing with their emotions in a healthy way but it's just for the sake of yummy drama

word count: 1993

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“I thought we were just going to a cute little wine bar, not a fucking rave,” you yelled over the music as your friends dragged you further into the warehouse. 

“Oh, come on, babe,” Yelena boomed, slinking her arm around both yours and Kate's neck, “don’t be a chicken now.”

“Yeah,” your brunette friend on the other side of Yelena tilted her frame to catch your apprehensive eye, “you already sneaked out, so you might as well make it count.” 

“I hate it when you’re right,” you groaned, your gaze narrowed to a squint as you got used to the warm flashing lights that dully illuminated the club. 

“Then you must always hate me,” a smug smirk spread across her features before the trio of you ventured further into the crowded space. 

As the night faded away, you found yourselves bathing in the strobes of neon light as your bodies moved on their own accord, like you were all part of a hive, buzzing together in harmony.

But then when you tapped both of your dancing friends on their shoulders and ushered their ears to lean in close to your lips, you told them, “I’m gonna go get some water,” receiving two thumbs up before you made your way through the crowd to the curved bar in the corner. 

However, after the bartender handed you a plastic bottle and you tilted your head back to take a much-needed sip, a familiar voice found your ears from across the bar. 

“As I live and fucking breathe,” you tipped the bottle back down and glanced down the way at the unexpected figure moseying closer to where you stood. 

“Peter!” a surprised smile couldn’t help but spread across your features, “what are you doing here?” 

Settling in beside you, he said, “it’s a Saturday night, where else would I be?”

“No, I mean, what are you doing in Paris?” 

“Oh, what, am I not allowed to be in your city anymore since the breakup?” he joked.

“No, of course, you can be here.” 

Leaning in even closer so that he didn’t have to yell as loud, he asked, “so how are you doing?”

“Me? I’m good, yeah,” your head bobbed in a nod, “how about you?”

“Can’t complain,” his gaze washed over you as if no time had passed at all, “so… can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you shifted the water bottle to your other hand. 

“You seeing anyone?” 

“Oh, wow,” you half coughed, “Peter Parker, king of subtlety.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ve seen you naked more times than I can count, so I figured subtlety went out the window a long time ago,” he smirked, “so, are you?”

“I–, uhm…” your eyes averted a moment as you uttered, “no.” 

You weren’t, it was true. Though the reason for why you’d sneaked out in the first place did have to do with a matter of the heart. 

You’d asked your friends what their advice would be if you hypothetically needed to get over someone. They both of course assumed that you were referring to the man standing before you in the disco and not the person who watched you like a hawk every minute of every day. The method they had suggested wasn’t a sound one, though one that still found you desperate enough to try. 

To go out, meet someone else and bang the dude out of your system. 

“Can I ask you something else?” Peter asked again, ripping you out of your thoughts, away from your bodyguard and back in the moment. As you offered him a nod, he smiled brightly, “you wanna dance?”

And that’s how you found yourself in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, plastered against your ex.

It didn’t take long before your lips reunited as well, staying locked as you both let your hands wander, though for you it wasn’t entirely in the spirit of rekindling something that you’d missed, and more to help you forget about the person who you truly wished to lose yourself on a dancefloor with. 

“Fuck,” you heard Peter groan in your ear and his desperation poked your lower abdomen for the attention you used to give it, “you wanna go slip into the bathroom?”

“Uhh,” you giggled as his lips tickled the side of your neck, “what kinda woman do you take me to be?”

“Mine,” he smiled, “that’s who. I know you. A club bathroom is nothing… remember Amsterdam?”

“Y-yeah, I remember,” your body tingled at the thought. 

“That’s also an option, if that’s the kind of mood you're in,” he winked. 

Chuckling as he squeezed your tit, you shook your head lightly, “I’m not fucking you here on the dancefloor.” 

“Oh, come on, it–”

But the rest of your ex’s sentence was cut short as a figure forced itself between you two and pried you apart.  

Instinctively reaching out for Peter as he was forcefully pushed back, your arm then faltered as you blinked up to discover who had shoved him. 

“Barnes,” a shiver ran down your spine at the stormy expression plastered all over his face, a side of him you’d never witnessed before, “I–”

But he cut you off, only to bark, “out, now.”

“But I–”

“Do you wanna walk on your own or should I just toss you over my shoulder?” he glared down at you just before you watched Peter’s hand plant itself on Bucky’s broad shoulder. 

“Hey, dude, don’t touch her, back off,” your ex tried to square up to the intimidating guard dog. 

“No, no, Peter, it’s alright,” you rushed to explain, knowing full well that your bodyguard could and would put him in the hospital, “he’s–…” your eyes briefly flickered up to Bucky’s steely blue eyes, still directed at you, “he’s my bodyguard,” before you let your touch graze Peter’s forearm, “I’m so sorry, it was great seeing you again, but I have to go.” 

Getting dragged out of the club like a perp from a crime scene was not the way you’d imagined your night would wrap up. 

After he’d virtually tossed you in the back and slammed the car door shut behind you, you fished out your phone and swiftly sent your friends an explanatory text while you half-watched Bucky march around the vehicle to the driver’s side. 

The silent treatment he then served you nearly felt worse than the heated words you imagined tumbled around in his head as he fumed, his knuckles nearly turned white from how fiercely he was gripping onto the steering wheel. 

But when you finally mustered the courage to break the eerie silence, your words came out just above a whisper, “I’m sorry…”

“Are you?” his eyes snapped up to find yours in the review mirror, “really? Because I don’t fucking buy it.” 

“Well, I am!” you threw up your arms, “what do you want me to do?” 

“Not sneak out like a fucking teenager to get drunk with your little boyfriend,” 

“I’m not drunk and he’s not my boyfriend!” 

Not taking any of your words to heart, Bucky went on, “you know how stupid this was, right? What if something had happened, huh? I know you didn’t personally read the threats you got back when I first got this job, but trust me when I tell you that if any of those fuckers had gotten their hands on you tonight, you’d be lucky if you were still breathing when the sun rose. This is exactly the sort of reckless behaviour that caused you to need my help in the first place.”

Your mouth then fell open, utterly stunned at his audacity, “oh my god… you’re unbelievable…” you uttered breathlessly before hazily commanding, “stop the car…”

“No–”

“Stop the fucking car!” you roared, casting your gaze to him once more till you felt his foot step on the break. 

As the car screeched to a stop, you wasted no time ripping the door open and storming out. 

Though you didn’t dare to look back, you still heard him exit the vehicle as well and shadow you as you wandered a few paces away, just far enough for you to be able to get some air. 

“Y/n,” you heard him from just a few meters behind you, “get back in the car–”

But you didn’t shift your feet as you then interrupted, back still turned to him.

“I can’t believe you’re fucking jealous right now…”

“What?”

“Well aren’t you?” you heatedly twisted around to face him, “because it sure fucking looks like it. Getting all fucking possessive, ripping me away from my ex before I can crawl my way back to him, before I get the chance to feel anyone inside of me but you–”

“Stop–”

“Is that it? You just want me all to yourself?” you kept on poking, too blind by your fury to consider the consequences, “you want it to be you that I’m so in love with that I’d make you personalised porn, which would consequently ruin my life and cause me to have a babysitter essentially stalking me.”

“Stop!” he took a step closer as he barked.

“Unless you’ve already seen the tape,” your feet shifted back, keeping him at a distance, “fantasising that it’s for you, getting yourself off to the image of me bouncing on that pretty pink dildo–”

Your sentence then crumbled into a shrivelled yelp as you felt his cold metal hand seize your neck and push you the last few inches up against the brick wall behind you. 

His fingers didn’t squeeze you in the slightest, though you still knew just how easy it would have been for him to tighten his grip and turn it into more than just a raging warning. 

“You done?” he spat as his eyes pieced directly into your soul, “or do you wanna give me more reasons why you’re nothing more than a spoiled little brat, why I should just quit now and not have to deal anymore with what a fucking pain you are in my ass?”

For the life of you, no attempts at offering him an answer were successful on your lips. 

He scared you. 

He’d never scared you before. 

Both because of the explosion you’d undoubtedly made even worse than it had to be, but also his fleeting threat of leaving you for good. 

It all terrified you… 

Though, there was also a different sensation that it awoke within you, one that caused your eyes to flutter down towards his lips, an action that your bodyguard surprisingly mirrored as well as your heated breaths synced up. 

You had no idea who moved first, if it was you or him, but the next thing you knew, you were kissing him.

With adrenaline still pumping in your veins, you clawed at his broad frame as you let your tongue flicker out and flutter against his own. The steely hand that had locked itself around your neck softened and whisked down your form, mirroring your own starving touch as he securely held you like you were about to fall. 

However, just as your palm slid down to find the bulge in his pants, rubbing it needily before your fingers tried to seize the short zipper, Bucky took a large step back, snapping to his senses and creating a wide distance between him and your melted form against the brick. 

His eyes refused to meet your foggy ones as he held them to the ground, slowly catching his breath before uttering, “get in the car,” defeat shining through in his low tone.

“Bucky–,” you tried, but without success as he then cut you off. 

“Please, just–…” his gaze fluttered shut a moment as you then heard him sombrely promise, “look, I’ll make sure your mom doesn’t hear word of what happened tonight. If we go now, then we’ll arrive before any of the staff wakes up, no one will notice.”

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble

[whore-ibly-hot]

Hello and Happy Holidays to you! I've been a lurker of this blog and I just gotta say that your Boarding School Series heals me, my crops are thriving, skin cleared, grades immaculate, all that- /pos

I hope asking for some info about the teaching staff would be okay? Regardless of if its general or a little more specific, what are each of the staff member's envisioned future with the reader? (Staring [dis]respectfully at all of them)

LETS GOOOOO! The crops are looking good, my anons won't starve! Now let's see....

Mr. Burton: As far as what he sees for him and the reader, he wants to get back into the art scene. Maybe not through his own work, but as a dealer or even a critic. He doesn't want a huge mansion, to much upkeep, but a nice studio in a big city sounds just perfect. He wants you sitting pretty by his side, his muse for paintings and photos. Of course, he'd never display or seel that art, it's a personal passion project. He wouldn't necessarily want kids, but would be 'meh' if not a little annoyed if some came along. Still, the idea of raising a prodigy... He's also the kind of guy to refuse to get a pet but gets very attached to whatever animal you move in with. A kitten? He's using its paws to make those dumb little cat paw paintings online? A dog? He's training it to bring him the brushes and gouache.

Coach Koslov: He loves coaching, the schools athletics department is thriving, and he's happy working with star athletes. However, he wants you away from here. It's simply not healthy, all these boys. You need a man, him. He's got a big home, from his days of being an athlete and olympian, for galas and parties. However, it's long empty now. He'd love to bring life into the home again, get you, and two big ass dogs. He goes for runs frequently, and he would love a pair of bruisers to take on walks but cuddle and love all the same. Children? He worries he's too old for them, but if you insist, he'd get through it and realize how much he wants them. An orthodox Russian wedding, even though he's not religious it's a cultural thing. He'd be a doting dad, the kind to strap the baby to his chest before a run. He's also one of the dad who insist on swim training for the babies safety but sobsnwhen the instructor pushes them in the pool. Little league? Hell yeah.

Critch: He's a simple man, he likes quiet nights of reading at home, and a clean home with a cup of warm tea. He'd want to be traditional, marrying you in a pretty white dress, regardless of your gender, carrying you over that threshold and making you his. Hes expect you to cook and clean, again, regardless of gender, but in return he'd spoil you with travel to luxury places and home upgrades. Experiences, not pointless material items, as he explains to you. He has no pets of his own, but he's a frequent bird feeder oddly enough. Finds it relaxing. He's far to old to want to have a child with you, but he is one for discipline and creating a better, 'proper', future for someone, so he wouldn't be against adopting someone, just older than a toddler.

Kory Koffman: I made a post about Kory already, but to summarize he wants a nice home with plenty of kids, who he can teach and nuture. He's very focused on giving them a life he didn't have, one where he was lonely and outcasted from other kids. Luckily, he always had his mother's love, and he wants his kids to experience that too. He'd be a great dad, saving up the moment you even mention kids to get a bigger home. He'd love a cat, someone snuggle to curl up on his lap while he reads. Or a fish tank with native fish, he loves the sound of running water.

Mr. Murphy: He's the kind of guy who wants a big ol' house outside of city limits, a farmhouse with land for a couple chickens, maybe goats, and a forest nearby for good hunting and fishing. He comes from a big happy family, all boys, and he wants a huge wedding despite not being one for pageantry. You're special, you've made an impact on him and you deserve a grand wedding. Once your married, he'd want a housewife to; like his mama. Cooking and cleaning while he works, coming home and kissing you while helping you finish a stew. Then laying in bed, maybe taking a roll in the hay. Sounds perfect. He'd go to the shelter with you for a big dog, but somehow leave with the oldest, crustiest senior dog they had. He knows what it's like to feel insecure about being past your prime, seen as gruff and not worth someone's time. It hurts him, so know you've got a rickety little yelper scurrying around the house and laying on his daddy's lap. He wants kids, as many as possible to fill up that farm house of his, but i can sense he's a bit of a girl dad. Family camping trips are frequent, he wants his kiddos as interested in nature as he is, not just how to hunt and kill, but to appreciate it.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I think

Didn't Jack's reasoning develop Daddy Issus in him ??

You mean his extreme perfectionism? It contributes to it, yeah. Kind of a chicken and egg scenario tbh, hard to say which came first. Did Jack's fear of disappointing his father predate his perfectionism, and ultimately lay the foundation of its existence? Or was he born believing he always needs to be more than he is, and that impostor syndrome ended up creeping into his thoughts and feelings regarding his father? Who can say? He's not doing himself any favors regardless. In this situation, Jack is his own worst enemy. His feelings of inadequacy are like a perpetual motion machine. Always devising and "fulfilling" its own prophecies

If they would just sit down and talk to each other man-to-man, it would make a big difference. But Burning Spice hasn't been any good at talking to people in a long time (no matter how much better he's gotten as a person, there are just some things you lose that you'll never get back. Not after living a life like that), and Jack, well-intentioned little martyr that he is, never likes to talk about his problems. He buries them deep and focuses on doing right by others instead, all the time and forever. It's not healthy. It would hit a lot closer to home if his father sat him down, looked him in the face and told him he doesn't always need to put himself last, and he doesn't need to be afraid of not being good enough, because he is. He always has been.

[centrally-unplanned]

To talk about monopoly & antitrust, I want to start off with your first day in Econ 101, when you learn "how prices work". The toy model that nearly everyone learns as one of the first things ever is that classic supply-and-demand graph of price and quantity; you know it, I don't need to show it. And in relation to how firms set price in a market, the explanation you get is something like:

"In a world with perfect information, zero transaction costs, rational agents, and no barriers to entry, new firms and/or increased output will enter the market until marginal price equals marginal cost"

This (seemingly) portrays a model where new companies "entering the market" is how prices go down. Like say there are Firms A, B, and C, engaging in oligopolistic pricing for a normal good; what happens is some new Firm X (with the same production costs) emerges with the sole business strategy of "offer prices lower than them because they are skimming" and it drives everyone's prices down in a race to the bottom. That, in a sense, competition between identical firms drives the price equilibrium.

That isn't very true, not in practice and not even theoretically; the 101 stuff just sort of biases you to see it that way. Firm X above is being rational in one way but silly in others; why would it enter a market where its competitors are making healthy profits just to fuck that up, knowing it has no advantage they can't immediately replicate in response? And pay all the fixed costs other firms have already paid to make that 0.1% profit? In real life firms almost never do this, they compete over (actual or perceived) advantage or market segmentation. And it also means that - if all firms are truly the same in a market - cooperating on price, far from being aberrant behavior, is the natural thing to do. Why would I look at my rival firm and lower my price to "undercut" them, knowing that they 100% can just lower it too? We both lose, immediately. In practice, companies often set their prices by looking at the prices of competing firms and matching them!

Many things actually drive the price equilibrium of course, but one of the biggest - and most useful for our purposes - is the substitution effect. If companies defacto cooperate on prices all the time, why is the price not infinity? Well because if you are selling steaks and set the price to infinity, I'm not gonna buy it! I can just buy chicken, for me it's pretty much the same. And chicken is cheaper to make than steak. As a chicken firm, I totally can set my price under your steak and you can never, ever match it; that is a real advantage, one from asymmetries of production. The price of steak is driven by the need to compete with chicken much more than it is driven by the need to compete with "other steaks". And so on down a chain of a million desires and costs and needs.

So to wrap this around to antitrust, there is a common idea out there that monopolistic pricing is increasing from the past because if I look at different industries, so many of them today are consolidated into 2-3 big firms. Your grocery stores are all Giant or Safeway or w/e it is in your city, if you are buying a TV Samsung & LG are half the entire US market. How could these companies not collude on price? Of course they do, and they don't need explicit agreements that would violate extant FTC regulations to do it; they can just softly communicate and feel out cooperation. So you gotta break them up and change the rules so they can't do that.

The trap is thinking this is any different if it was 10 firms - it really isn't! Maybe marginally, sure, and if it was 2000 firms yeah okay the sheer chaos would probably create some price churn; but in the past prices were not driven down by the diversity of firms making price cooperation impossible. The long history of guilds, business associations, chambers of commerce, and so on shows that they had plenty of avenues for cooperation - and often did straight-up set prices. Meanwhile, when Wal-Mart, Target, Aldi, and others all cut prices at around the same time, they are not mainly competing with each other. If they were they would just mutually agree to not do that, without even saying anything! How stupid do you think they are? That isn't hard to do. Instead they are competing with Amazon; with boutique local stores; with restaurants; with the changing price of labor; with shifting consumer sentiment and expectations. The industry concentration doesn't matter.

Until it does of course! Because what is the substitution good for oil? They exist of course, but they ain't cheap; people will still buy gas at gigantic ranges of prices. Here, the fundamental structure of the market is monopolistic - and also a geopolitical clusterfuck, but let's not get into that. Producers openly rig prices sometimes, and antitrust actively regulates against it, and it is a hot mess of governments and companies and all that. Are people who hold patents engaging in monopoly pricing? Obviously, that is the point of patents! It is by design; but there are tons of arguments to be made around creeping exploitation of the IP system. Sometimes hundreds of firms in a dominant market niche will offer complex, bundled products where the price of each piece of obfuscated and the value is subjective, but consensus is you can't not buy the product or you will be screwed and since you can't tell what the product even is, let alone how valuable it is, you can't object when they set the price - I hear these are called "universities", but they go by other names in other sectors.

All of the above are something like "monopolies", which maybe are getting worse over time, but they are monopolies for different, product-specific reasons. I think there is a good deal of FTC work and other reforms that could be done in the US to identify areas where this kind of rent extraction is happening. But what it doesn't look like is opposing blanket industry consolidation. And in fact the correlation is honestly pretty weak. Because identical firm competition does not drive the price equilibrium.

[almmoon006]

You gently knocked on the office door, opening the dark door. It was quite cool inside, the cold winter wind was making its way into the room through the wide-open window. You clicked your tongue briefly, went to the window, and carefully closed it, making sure that not a drop of cold air could escape inside. No matter how much you wanted to light a fireplace right now, you knew perfectly well that the things in this room were subject exclusively to its owner.

Your lips curved into a slight smile.

Severus was sitting on a chair at his desk, head cocked to one side, and... asleep. His chest rose and fell steadily, and the fine wrinkles on his face twitched from time to time.

You went to a small closet in the corner of the room and took out a fluffy warm blanket, now carefully covering the man with it. Your fingers gently touched the wizard's face, removing especially long dark strands of hair from his face. Exposing your pale forehead, you leaned closer and placed a short kiss on his face.

***

Candles played softly with their yellow flames on the dark walls, drawing chaotic shadows. Your hands carefully placed various fruits and herbs into a small glass teapot. No matter how much you love magic, the good old Muggle habits remain the same. And food and drinks taste better when you make them with your own hands, with your soul and love, right? Soon, pieces of cinnamon and cloves were added to the sea buckthorn and orange slices, and you poured a generous portion of boiling water over the black tea, inhaling the intoxicating aroma with pleasure. A warming healthy drink, just what you need on a cold winter evening.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, gently pressing you to your broad chest. You immediately smiled, leaning back against the body of your beloved man, your consciousness was filled with your favorite smell of books, wormwood and light notes of smoke. His movements were gentle and sleepy, like a little kitten just waking up. My thumb traced simple patterns on your skin through the thin fabric.

"You saw me fall asleep, but you didn't wake me up," he said in a sleep-hoarse voice that sent shivers down your spine.

"Students can be exhausting, so I thought you could take a well-deserved weekend off.

Severus just grunted, burying his nose in your neck. “Thanks."

"You should stop relying only on warming charms, silly," you said with a slight smirk on your lips, turning around in a tight embrace.

You gently wrapped your arms around the man's neck and kissed his cheek. The muscles of his shoulders and back were still very tense after sleeping in an uncomfortable sitting position for a long time.

"Tea? Massage? Me?" You purred, running your fingers through your long dark hair and lightly scratching your sensitive skin. The man closed his eyes blissfully, letting out a long mumble.

“Yeah. I wouldn't mind. All of that. But first, tea. And I'm hungry.." in response to the last words, his stomach rumbled softly, causing a slight blush to appear on the man's pale cheeks.

"Of course. Chicken with vegetables," you winked and reluctantly left your beloved embrace, heading for the still hot oven.

[darlingcameron]

New idea: Rafe is friends with an autistic reader(female I apologize) mentions of good aversion, sensitivity to noise, swimming, masking.

"Is the food okay, dear?" Rose places a hand on your shoulder which you try to contain your uneasiness but you were a little weary of her and physical contact was something you were still getting use to so you tried your best to mask it.

You offer a smile and nod, "Oh yes, Mrs. Cameron it all looks so good I'm just-"

"She's autistic, Rose...I'll just bake her something else." Rafe speaks up, placing his napkin down and gets up from his seat and you felt heat rise to your cheeks as you didn't want Rose to feel offended or make anything awkward, "No! Rafe I-i can try it- look!" You almost clumsily pick up your fork, circling the spaghetti around your fork but then looks at it for a moment, the sauce seeming almost offensive towards you and you shake your head. "Yeah, no nevermind..I'm so sorry...I know you put so much effort into this I just-" you rambled on as your people pleaser tentacles start to kick in and you look around fanatically between Rose and the plate in front of you.

"Y/N for the love of God, shut up-its fine just come with me and I'll see what I can make for you- let's go." He snaps his fingers towards the door that leads inside and you sheepishly smile at Rose before rising out of your seat and walk inside.

Rafe follows, sliding the glass door closed and goes over to the freezer. "What would it be? Chicken nuggets and fries again?" He looks over at you, holding the handle to the freezer and you shrug, "I don't know kind of getting bored of that being a safe food." You say as you lean against the counter, feeling awful and like you were a nuisance towards him and his family. "But I can deal with it."

"Nonsense, I'll just keep looking. Hey, how about some apples and peanut butter? Both healthy and contain protein." He asks, opening a cabinet and looking around, moving things about.

You wave him off, "honestly I can wait...I can just go hole and order mcdonalds."

"McDonald's isn't exactly a healthy choice." He says and you shrug, "there's a Chinese place down by where I live."

"And I think you order so much that thats the reason they're still open."

You roll your eyes. "Really Rafe, I can just wait..."

"Then you'll get cranky from your blood sugar dropping and you'll start to get panicky...remember the last time? You kept hitting your head and I thought you were gonna have a concussion." He sighs, running his hand through his hair as he closes the cabinet, looking over at you.

"Whats up with you tism people and fast food?" He asks, walking over to you.

"Convient, you don't have to make it or stress for like 30 minutes looking for what may look good, and if you order from a place enough it's a no brainer on what to eat." You shrug as you explain.

"You need to have a home cooked meal at some point." He states, placing his hands on his hips and staring down at you.

You chuckle, "Well until you become my personal chef I'd have to wait...you're very patient with me." You mumbles the last part, fiddling with your hands and he takes hold of them. You noticed his hands felt warm and you look up at him, "You're special to me."

You tilt your head at him, "Is that a special needs joke?"

He grins and wraps his arm around your shoulder, "Could be but you're still special...c'mon...let's go get some mcdonalds and worry about our health when we're old." He escorts you both to the front of the house.

"I'll still be eating chicken nuggets at 50."

"If you're alive by then with your health choices."

[wonderful-rp-resources]

A Very out-of-context set of Sentence Starters from my Discord server.

Add names to blanks Change pronouns as necessary!

"Murder in marriage is normal and healthy."

"Oh haha, yeah lobotomize them."

"Metaphorically speaking, I cannot tell you if you serve cunt or not."

"The sins better be crawling up my back because if they do at the front they're going to have two massive obstacles"

"You're a really predictable person_ _ _ and it's really funny to me, I want to crush you under my arm <3"

"Clearly you've never had a premium rock roast and I'm so sorry for you."

"I dont know I haven't sniffed you."

"Cock and ball torture for anxiety and ocd hell yeah!"

"Bimbos are the larval form of milfs."

"I will slow down im just carbonated to meet you."

"They are homoerotic and homoirritating."

"The uggs do make my soul frown, I'll give credit to that."

"I dont have good or bad habits I just enter a state somewhere between a robot and a bad stand-up comedian and that's how the stuff happens."

"She went to evil hell college where you summon devils."

"I do nothing but put beasts in a situation that's why they call me the border collie."

"The lore exists. If I'm feeling particularly zesty and tased I'll drop two sentences."

"Hi _ _ _, I'm the devil on your shoulder and even I agree that you probably shouldn't pull up hot ass in a nice restaurant."

"Vagina so powerful it does what walruses do to clams."

"Yes, we established _ _ _ has the walrus mouth vagina."

"Never assume I can't be hornier."

"That is a man held together by crust and spite."

"I can't, I was assassinated so I wouldn't snitch about the squeaky toy noises."

"I WAS AGREEING THAT THEY LOOK LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS YOU SOGGY SALAMI."

"_ _ _ is more likely to take you on a date killing homeless people."

"I won but it was embarrassing."

"He's just hanging loose like a tit that's escaped its harness."

"_ _ _ trying very hard not to bring up his girlfriend (the Cambrian period.)"

"Lick my boots but we stay silly."

"I keep thinking he's a weird god ascended form of Jerry Seinfeld."

"I dont think that's a good idea _ _ _ would become a stick of incense in 5 seconds flat for sneezing microaggressively."

"She has disabled the flap in my esophagus i choke on a gulp of tea instantly."

"We have from the left: Thembo, Himbo, tiny himbo, bimbo, And bitch."

"Keep your mouth open so I can shove my fist inside."

"I wanna enjoy dinner, not watch someone get snapped in half like a KitKat bar."

"My standards for a good partner are non-existent, if I raised the bar remotely, Not only would he TRIP, but he'd fall backward and break a hip."

"Good luck it's behind six layers of 4chan."

"It is fine. the conversation needed to end anyway. please continue your vegetation exultation."

"I have normal amounts of radiation for a horse."

"What does a planet have to do with a music genre?"

"Fear not, I will not be kissing misogynists any time soon."

"Pain is weakness leaving the body."

"You were born at an incredibly old age."

"You seem like you would be an entry on the villains wiki."

"I don't bite strangers….that's an easy way to catch diseases, dumbass."

"...So his unhappiness is only half my fault."

"It's ok buddy, I've licked dirt too."

[arlowthenacho]

having thoughts abt carmy with a true crime obsessed s/o

carmen was cooking in the small kitchenette in his apartment, as always. you, on the other hand, were perched on the countertop, chattering away about the new true crime podcast you were binging.

“ok, so basically, this guy is a complete psychopath, as most serial killers are. and he has the sob story of a bad childhood too—“

you cut yourself off midway through your sentence, distracted by the smell of whatever carmy was making tonight.

“oooh, what’s that?” you asked, swinging your legs back and forth in the air, your heels hitting the wooden cabinets below.

“s’just a recipe tina sent me. arroz con pollo, i think it was?” he swipes open the screen of his phone and checks his camera roll, zooming in on the title of the recipe. “yeah, that’s it,”

you smile and hop off of the counter, looking down at the pan on the stove.

“it looks so good, carmy, thank you.” you peck his cheek sweetly and walk back over the countertop, jumping and landing onto its surface.

“anywho, this killer guy, he has the classic ‘abusive dad, absent mom’. thing going on, right? and because of that, he started plotting to murder his family and frame it on his sister—oh i forgot to tell you!”

carmen snorted at your forgetfulness, and you throw a faux-annoyed glare at him, your smile betraying your facade.

“he has a sister who, in his delusional little mind, his parents like better than him.”

“yeah, ok. crazy dude wants to kill his parents and frame the sister. go on, baby.” he kisses your cheek and goes back to setting up the new rice cooker you got him, as his old one was far too old to be considered healthy.

“yeah, and he’s only, like, twelve right now. but anyway—” you’re cut off yet again when carmy beckons you over to try something for him, a little bit of chicken cooked to near perfection.

“open up, sweetheart. wan’ you to try this,” his fingers find their way to your chin and thumb over your bottom lip, urging you to part them.

you do just that and eat what he’s given you, humming in satisfaction.

“carmy that’s so good,” you press a lingering kiss on his lips as a thank you and go back to talking about your podcast.

carmen just sits back and watches you, noticing how empty your ring finger looks.

a/n: ending is kinda shit again :( but hope yall enjoy this lil drabble 🤍

[solaslow74]

@olnfweek2024 Day 2 - Sick Days / Fantasy

MC - Ariel

Note: This fic takes place in December 2012, around halfway between Step 1 and 2, and assumes that Qiu hadn’t transitioned to different pronouns yet.

It was winter in Golden Grove, and Ariel could feel it. Throughout the rest of the year, the chill could be kept at bay with just a scarf or jacket, or it retreated into the mountains altogether. But on a day like today, that chill was all around, and seeped into every opening it could find to reach Ariel through their heavy brown coat and red earmuffs. Even the tupperware container of hot chicken soup in Ariel’s hands couldn’t keep them from feeling a bit numb.

It wasn’t all bad, though. There were some things Ariel quite enjoyed about winter. The feeling of the air, cool and crisp in their lungs; the crunching of the snow beneath their boots as they trekked across the cul-de-sac; the colorful glistening of lights strewn across the front of the Baumann house as they marched up to the door. Ariel took care not to slip on their way; their backpack was the most packed it had been since winter break had begun last week, and would make for a nasty fall.

Granny welcomed Ariel graciously, and gave them a chance to shed the outermost layer of snow-encrusted clothes before heading upstairs to see their neighbor in her room. Mrs. Baumann didn’t come with; she and her husband may have been quite healthy all things considered, but their age still made infection more of a risk than it might otherwise be.

So it was Ariel alone, still carrying a bit of the outside chill, that knocked on Tamarack’s door. “Tamarack?” they asked timidly, clutching the strap of their pack. “May I come in?”

After a moment of waiting, the reply came. “Yeah..”

It was the least like Tamarack that Tamarack had ever sounded. Ariel gently entered the room.

It was easy to recall some of the first times they’d ever seen this room, a couple years ago now; the way that Tamarack would bound towards her guest, and happily show them all of her favorite things in it. It was supposed to be a pit stop, a place for a day of fun to have its humble beginnings before the adventure inevitably spread into the forest behind her house. But today, things weren’t the way they were supposed to be.

Tamarack sat very still against her pillows, and the small smile that appeared on her face when her eyes met Ariel’s was a shadow of the beacon it would normally be, fading as she glumly turned her eyes back downwards. Her nose was flushed red, and even her hair seemed to sparkle less than usual. Used tissues filled a wastebasket sitting at her bedside, and a box of the unused variety sat on her nightstand.

Her voice came with the same weakness, softness, and nasally quality as her initial reply. “Hi, Ariel…”

Ariel pushed through the gloomy miasma of the room, which a fan was struggling to keep out of the air. “Hi, Tamarack… I missed you. I’m sorry…”

It wasn’t the level of energy they had wanted to bring with their greeting, but what else could be expected? It was a sorry scene.

Tamarack laughed, though with less unbridled mirth than usual. “You don’t have to be sorry. You didn’t get me sick. And I missed you too.”

The last few days had apparently been even worse; Mama and the Baumanns had agreed that Ariel couldn’t visit, that Tamarack’s cold was at its most contagious. Their heart ached to think of how miserable and lonely Tamarack must have been- the queen of the forest consigned to live alone in her tower, and during break, too. But they were here now, and they had to help her feel better.

So they took a breath, and then held out the tupperware, with a plastic spoon balanced atop it. “My mama made you soup, and I helped. She says it's good food for feeling better when you’re sick. So please have some.”

Tamarack’s eyes seemed to lighten a bit more. “Omi says the same thing. She made me some yesterday. I’m kind of- I mean, thank you.”

She accepted the gift with weak hands, and sat up a little straighter. Eating food in bed, especially of such a potentially messy variety, would never be tolerated by Granny, but these were dire times indeed. And besides, Tamarack wasn’t as wild as she used to be, even when she wasn’t sick. She was twelve, almost a teenager; she wouldn’t spill her soup, she was too mature to do that.

Ariel began to pull something out of their bag, another tool to help their ailing friend. It was a book, a big one, with a man on the cover. His bright red coat, and his funny-shaped hat, were instantly recognizable. The Night Before Christmas, the title read in big curvy letters.

Tamarack suppressed a smile, but not before Ariel could see it. It was enough to encourage them to continue with an explanation of their plan.

“I got this at the library, and a few others. I know you can’t go out and have fun in the snow right now, so I wanted to bring the winter fun to you.” They paused to gauge the reaction of their audience of one, then continued. “Plus, I don’t really know these, since my family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. So maybe it’ll be fun for me to read them to you.”

Tamarack laughed, though it came out with a bit of a wheeze. “Ariel, that’s…”

It was kiddy. That was what she thought. Tamarack didn’t always act her age, but having a picture book read to her was too much.

But looking at her friend’s face, she couldn’t say it.

It was a weird feeling. She could hardly remember a time where she didn’t want to say what she was thinking. When did that change?

“Okay, okay… we can do that,” finally came her response, before she had to grab a tissue to sneeze into.

So, Ariel pulled up a chair to the bedside, and read. It was a poem she’d heard before, but Ariel’s voice made it extra nice to listen to, and so did their occasional commentary.

“Now, Dasher, now, Dancer, now, Prancer and Vixen, on, Comet, on, Cupid, on, Donner and Blitzen!” they read, before grinning. “Now, I thought I had heard of this part for sure! Isn’t Rudolph supposed to be one of the reindeer?”

Tamarack laughed. “Not in this story! Maybe Santa didn’t hire him yet, when they wrote this.”

She could’ve said that earnestly when she was a bit younger, but it was definitely a joke.

The achiness and stuffiness were still ever-present in her body, but Tamarack felt like she could be distracted from it a little more with every silly joke Ariel made, whether it was poking her while reading about Saint Nick’s “nose like a cherry”, or making little motions acting out “a wink of his eye and a twist of his head”. She did have fun, even though it was so silly; so she didn’t complain when they pulled out the next book and began to spin another familiar tale.

“Usually I’m the one with all the energy,” she said unexpectedly, after Ariel’s inspiring rendition of the Grinch’s redemption. “Is that why I’m sick? You took all my energy?”

Ariel smiled at her joke. “Maybe it’s just the Christmas magic finding its way into my heart.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ariel, that’s not real.”

Their smile changed a little bit, in a way that was hard for Tamarack to read.

“Yeah… I know.”

A sigh. Then…

“I just want to help you feel better. I couldn’t help you at all until now. So I had to plan something, and make it good. Because I know it’s hard.”

“Yes. It sucks!!” It was the loudest Tamarack had gotten since Ariel came over, maybe since she had caught the cold in the first place. She couldn’t sustain it, so the next part came out weakly. “I hate being sick. Being inside. Being alone. It sucks…”

The mood was low. Just like it had been when Ariel first got here. But it didn’t have to be, not for long.

“I’m here now, and we can have a little fun. And when you’re better, and I bet that will be soon, then we can have a lot of fun. I promise.”

Tamarack looked at Ariel, then. Their golden eyes were full of warmth that radiated out through their glasses.

She smiled weakly. She didn’t believe in Christmas magic, and little by little, she was starting to doubt herself, too. But she would believe in her friend- in that promise.

Autumn laid on his side, staring at the white world outside. Usually his bed was a place of comfort and familiarity, but it didn’t do much to relieve the awful way he felt- the soreness of his throat, the aching in his head, the weakness in his limbs. It had only been a matter of time; plenty of his friends had caught the seasonal sickness. He’d figured that he might be one of the ones left standing- but that had been stupid to think.

Darren had been one of those lucky few, which was why he and Qiu had planned to get out and enjoy the snow today. That obviously didn’t happen, in the end. But Autumn had refused to explain why he had to cancel their plans. It was probably obvious, but he couldn’t bring himself to let anyone else know that he was sick.

If people knew he was sick, they’d worry. And that was his job, not theirs- even if that job was getting more and more tiresome to keep up with, these days.

It was fine. He’d carry the burden alone. Until he felt better, until he had the energy to act like he normally did, Qiu would tough it out without worrying anyone else.

Eventually, those thoughts began to drift, and the aching began to fade. Qiu did nothing to resist the call of sleep as he was pulled into a feverish dream.

Qiu woke groggily to the sound of music. The sight before him was unfamiliar, but somehow, it didn’t strike him as strange.

Lit from above by the moon shining through a skylight, dozens of partygoers dressed in finery danced gracefully across a ballroom floor. All of them were dazzling in their attire, but none more so than a young golden-haired lady, adorned with a leafy crown, spinning wildly with her dancing partner, a similarly young noble. The pair’s merriment made them stand out despite their small stature. But then, the noble’s bright eyes met Qiu’s, and after excusing themself, they made their way over to him. They knelt before him, offering a hand.

“You’re awake,” they enthused. “I was hoping you’d join us!”

Autumn hesitated, then accepted the hand, standing with the noble’s help. A pang in his head accompanied the movement, though, and he winced. That was right, he remembered- he was sick, wasn’t he?

“I shouldn’t join you guys,” he explained to the noble. “I need to get some rest-”

“Come on, dance with us!” exclaimed the girl with the crown, who had bounded over to join them. “You’re our friend, so come on!”

Another twinge in Qiu’s head- this time, of annoyance. He was trying to be considerate, to not get them sick, and she couldn’t get that?

“I really shouldn’t. Besides, you two were having fun on your own, right? Leave me be.”

The pair just looked back at him with frowns. The girl shook her head, huffed, then grabbed at his arm suddenly. “Don’t you care about us? Come on-”

“NO!”

The shout that came from Qiu surprised him as much as anyone else, but he didn’t back down.

“Why is it such a big deal to you? Why can’t you just leave me be?”

With each word, his friends seemed to get smaller. Everything did, actually- until Qiu was taller than any of the guests. The music ceased, and confused dancers were stopping to look over at the scene.

The noble with the bright eyes gaped up at Qiu. “Autumn, we’re your friends-”

“Then why don’t you GET IT?”

His words came out with a booming roar, and a spurt of hot fire. A mix of shame and anger filled Qiu as everyone watched him with horror. He didn’t ask to be here! It wasn’t his fault!

He needed to get out of here. To find some peace and quiet, where nobody would look at him like that. Frantically looking for an exit, his gaze settled on the skylight. Without thinking, Qiu sprung from where he loomed over his friends, and with wings he hadn’t realized he had, soared up and out through the glass. Scales protected him from the shattered skylight, and flying higher, he was finally alone. With one last look back towards the royal estate he had escaped, Qiu soared away, leaving everyone behind, as the light of the moon guided him to the mountains.

[naviaknell777]

Loved your little sister fic.!! So adorable!!! ❤️ Its so cute for a little sibling reader lmao.Anyways. I saw requests open, and I had to request. Little sister turtle reader x The rottmmt bros-

Hear me out. Reader is like a HUGE fan of food, and has a "burrito blanket" and constantly bickers her brothers to let her spin on a pole above fire like a rotisserie chicken. She just wants to feel like food lmao 😭 Poor 10 year old turtle girl, She's just a pure innocent sunshine.

Reader is hungry 24/7 and loves mikey's cooking sm. Like this girl full on makes Donnie store some snacks made from mikey into his battle shell for her when traveling or leaving the lair lmao. You know what animal crossing villagers do when food is placed in front of them?? Yeah. Reader does that.

Bonus : Reader is really good at martial arts and fighting, and beats the shit out of a really tough villain. And when she's done, shes just innocent and is like "Can we have tacos for dinner??" While her brothers are just like.. "wtf just happened."

Ooh I love this request so much! I love the idea of a little sister who’s chaotic about food. Also reminder [n/n] = nickname

Rottmnt x little sister! Reader “Food Lover”

Y/N is 10 years old, the youngest of the siblings, and LOVES food

And I mean LOVES food more than anything.

Like it might honestly be her special interest at this point. Loves trying new foods, love learning about foods, and loves cooking when she can (which is rarely because one time she didn’t have older brother supervision around the stove… that ended up being a chaotic day)

She even owns different food related things, like blankets, plushies, etc

Likes to get the food experience as well. As in, will sit by fires wrapped up in her tortilla blanket to pretend shes cooking (even though the fire tends to dry out her skin as being a type of sea turtle)

Has also asked to be wrapped in tinfoil by or above the fire (to which, her brothers completely don’t support… not only will she dry out heavily but also it’s just not healthy and they’re afraid she’ll actually be cooked alive)

But to make her feel better about not being able to pretend to be food being cooked, Leo will team up with Donnie to make a huge strainer for Y/N to fit in and put her underneath a hose and pretend to wash her like fruits and veggies

She will also absolutely devour any food in sight, including eating everything that Mikey makes… even if it’s six servings, for each sibling plus Splinter

Whenever she eats someone else’s food (usually because she has a big appetite, occasionally to get back at her brothers for pulling a prank on her or something… looking at you Leo) and that brother will stare at her and she’ll just be like “what…?”

Man just let her eat the dang food!!

But even if she eats everyone’s dinner, especially if it’s Mikey making it, she’ll usually ask for more because she loves the taste so much

When she occasionally joins missions, she’ll sometimes make Donnie whip out a snack for her mid-battle. Doesn’t matter if he’s charging at someone or what, he’ll use one of his metal claw hang thingies to take a snack for her and toss it at her

They let her come along sometimes if they know it’s a pretty low stakes mission so she can watch them fight to learn how battles go and to learn moves from her brothers

She also trains outside of battles, and loves it, and because she’s doing all this exercise it just makes her more hungry, which is why she’s pretty much constantly eating

That and she expends a lot of energy being a chaotic little sister in general lol

But one night the brothers decided that Y/N could go on this mission with them that they thought would be pretty low stakes, just a classic foot clan plan that needs to be stopped as per usual

Except… they decided to bring a different partner along the normal two that they fight

A new recruit I guess??

But yeah the brothers didn’t predict this

(Well, Donnie probably did, let’s be honest)

Anyway. He should’ve told someone that he predicted this cause the new guy was pretty buff, like someone who does hardcore military training as a hobby

How the guy got recruited as a low rank with the other two foot weirdos is nobody’s guess

But regardless, Y/N was brought to the battle, and with this new, super buff guy they got their hands full

So Y/N, observing from afar at first, ultimately decided to help her brothers

“No one kicks my brothers like that but me!!” She yelled when the buff guy kicked Raph in the stomach

So she, being the weird brave girl she is, sprung into action! And… she actually landed hits on the guy?!

Needless to say her brothers were impressed

She managed to hit the guy a lot and with her quick agility she was able to dodge his attacks like nothing (practice from when her brothers try to hold her back from eating all the pizza… she just slithers her way out of their hold and climbs over them)

But anyway she’s actually doing really well in the battle?! She focused more on dodging in the first half to psych him out, but landed punches and kicks like nobody’s business!

(She might’ve also kicked him in the balls at one point lmao)

But yeah, in the end, she managed to dodge his head butt last minute, making him smash his head into a wall. Y/N dusted off her hands on her shorts, her mask tails dramatically flowing a bit in the non-existent wind, proud of her victory

(And the brothers managed to take down the other two foot freaks quickly per usual)

But when they were done they just stared at her and her ability to hit hard and dodge when needed. When he finally knocked himself out, she smiled and watched the buff guy fall to the ground when he became unconscious

She then turned to her brothers, who were standing next to each other. She ran to them “I’m hungry! Can we make tacos for dinner?!” She said excitedly, shaking her hands side to side at the thought of eating

“Uh, yeah, sure…” Leo said, still a bit in disbelief

“Aww baby sister you deserve all the tacos in the world!” Mikey said, making Y/N squeal a bit

“But.. where’s you learn all those moves, [n/n]?l” Raph asked, still a bit amazed at her combat power and fighting style being so developed at a young age.

“The beans must be spilled” Donnie whispered to himself dramatically.

Y/N just smiled, climbing onto Donnie’s battle shell to open it and grab a snack. She opened a bag of chips, and before stuffing her face she said

“Well I’ve watched you all fight so many times… so I guess I learned from the best!”

——

Thanks for sending in your request and reading!

All Rights Reserved ©️NaviaKnell777 2023

[review-anon]

Ah knew Hajime would be here - hey chefs and those on the cooking team! Hajime from Void is gonna ruin the food because he deems it unhealthy and we can't allow that!

Hehehehe that's one portion "modified"....now let's go over to the others.

*Meanwhile Gonta goes over to where the food is to help with preparing the vegetables*

Let's see....Gonta needs to get vegetables and prepare them.

Ah! Makunouchi, what you doing here? Food not ready!

(Crap this isn't good) Erm...hi there Gokuhara...I was just looking at the food to see how healthy it is?

Gonta thinks food is healthy indeed, as its very green!

Are you sure? Its got a lot of gravy...and fried chicken...and bread sauce...and various other foods which are quite unhealthy for you.

Gonta not know nutrition, Gonta's diet used to be very protein based.

This Gonta first proper Christmas, Gonta not used to Christmas, but Gonta will want to experience it.

You...never experienced Christmas before? I thought that was a global holiday.

Forest family didn't celebrate Christmas, Winter was hard time when food was scarce.

(Oh yeah that's right, Gokuhara lived in the forest for a while...)

Well good for you...at least you don't really know what Christmas is like. (If anything, it's thanks to Utsuro's blessings, that he found me and not someone else.)

[practically-an-x-man]

Eris and their opinion on food flavors for the headcanons? :)

Oooh thank you so much!!

Definitely prefers savory foods over sweet or spicy ones, because that was most familiar to them growing up

Though, their favorite flavor profile is probably bitter - they love bitter, high-cacao chocolate and black coffee

She's also very used to eating extremely salty foods, since salt was the main preservative for a lot of history. It's not her favorite, but she's used to it.

Sweet foods and sugar are almost a delicacy to them - the same way silk is, it doesn't matter that it's way more common now, it's still associated with wealth and luxury because of their history

Is honestly a bit of a baby when it comes to especially spicy foods - my version of Themyscira, being a combination of Greek and Middle Eastern geography and culture, didn't have a lot of extremely spicy foods, and Eris just never grew to handle it well.

^ He's not awful about it, and can handle a moderate amount of spice without a problem, but anything above like a cayenne pepper level is unpleasant to him

The store I mentioned in Whatever Keeps You Around and its bread that Eris likes... the reason they like that bread so much is that it's the most similar spice profile and texture to what they ate on Themyscira - it's nostalgic

She also prefers to eat baking chocolate rather than candy-bar chocolate for the same reason - chocolate traditionally was much higher in cacao and lower in sugar, and she finds candy bars way too sweet for her liking.

His favorite foods are usually in the vein of stews and soups, or other slow-cooked savory dishes. Rick's chicken pot pie is her favorite <3

After they've done a lot of healing, they do not give a shit about flavor. They're incredibly hungry and need extensive nutrients to make up for all that regenerated tissue - not quite to the level of digging out of the trash for it, but they couldn't give a shit about whether it's seasoned or not, or even if it's burnt or undercooked a little

^ Eggs are their favorite for recovering those nutrients - lots of protein and vitamins, plus they cook up very quickly.

^^ Technically milk would also be a good choice, also packed with nutrition meant for growing healthy tissue (because it's meant to nourish young animals), but Eris finds it nasty to just drink a cup of milk straight

Is very experimental with spices when she cooks - she loves extremely powerful, bold flavors, and while her choices and combinations don't always make sense, they usually end up confusingly tasty.

^ But he doesn't really enjoy cooking, so this is rare. He'd rather just sous-chef when Rick cooks - have him chopping veggies and mashing up garlic while the two of them chat? Hell yeah. Much better than trying to navigate some recipe from scratch.

[rust-bearer]

I’m back… and hiding! Haha no one can see me, sharing zombie thoughts with you in secret.

Anyway, love anon, makes me feel more comfortable sharing weird stuff like this. But anyway, I think Onslaught is the resident cook for our zombie survivalists. That’s all though. Actually no, I think… hmm, I think he focuses specifically on cooking eggs and omelettes and breakfast spreads. He strikes me as that strong silent stereotype, and I have ZERO reasoning behind my decision (actually my brain’s decision, I had no say in this), but he’s the farmhouse chef. Some more thoughts broken down:

1. He does all of the cooking, and no one else is allowed in the kitchen when he does it.

2. He wears an apron that says “Don’t ^ KISS THE COOK” like kiss the cook but with a little ^ thing and then don’t added in with sharpie? I hope that makes sense.

3. The egg thing, uhhhh… I see people doing so many cool things with eggs. Like soft boiled eggs, cloud eggs or whatever, eggs that aren’t scrambled, eggs that don’t explode, stuff like that. I bet he makes really good omelettes and stuff. And practices cooking with eggs because a— chickens!! Lots of chickens!! Everyone should have chickens, they’re great, and b— I don’t know, eggs are just so easy to gather? And butter too, if… like, if you have the resources. Eggs and butter, and maybe salt and pepper if you’re not lame, and then bam, you can become all culinary and such.

4. He probably has a soft spot for the kids, and he probably likes making them foods that are both healthy AND kid approved. Kids are so picky, it’s crazy, but Onslaught probably knows his way around this. He can even get them to eat vegetables, it’s insane. First Aid wants to know his secrets, seriously.

5. Honestly? Probably really quiet in the mornings, unlike his asshole gestalt/brothers who probably make enough noise to lure the ENTIRE zombie population, and do so every morning without fail. Probably decided to take up cooking just to keep everyone alive lol.

6. Uhhhmmm that’s all, but I’m gonna try to edit a picture to make Onslaught with the apron on and holding a skillet with an egg in it and standing in front of a stove, we’ll see how it goes. I literally cannot draw to save my life, so that’s out of the question, unfortunately. It’ll have to be a TF version, too, but… it’ll be good enough. Yeah, hopefully that goes well. It’ll make things make more sense, too (I think). But anyway… some love for Onslaught!

The (don’t) kiss the cook apron is just *chefs kiss*. It is leaning into his military background more but he strikes me as the guy who was always like “these MREs are acceptable. But could be made better.” and pulls out his little shakers of spices and hot sauce. When he had the time he was the commander who actually tried to get quality meals cooked up, or delegated to someone who had the time to.

Onslaught lecturing (threatening) someone on how an army runs on its stomach and if he finds them skimping out on proper nutrition he will personally kill them himself so they don’t bring the unit dishonor by passing out from low blood sugar on the field

The biggest find at the farmhouse is one of those vintage Dutch ovens. A really good quality one, and then comes more lectures on how bread was used by ancient military strategists and if any of you morons touch his sourdough starter it’s over for you

With all the eggs the chickens make, egg salad is incredibly common at the farmhouse.

[sxfterhearts]

🎲 + 🪐 + ☁️ sending in more asks bc I adore you and I’m curious <33 also who is your got7 bias?? I used to love them back in high school. I recently listened to their music again and ughhhh I miss them so bad lol

omg ur so precious 🥹🥹

🎲 : what stops me from writing more in my free time?

honestly, sometimes i just get lazy HAHA i don’t think im a slow writer per se but i do get distracted easily… and i work, so it’s mostly just a balance of whether i have stuff to do after work and whether i hv the mental capacity to write something that’s decent enough to be read! i think im doing alright tho :)

🪐: 3 good things in my life

love this question!! as cheesy as it is, p1h is defs one of them 🥰🥰 i spend a lot of my free time now watching their videos (which always makes me cackle) or listening to their music! another thing is i personally am quite happy with where im at in life? its a nice equilibrium and im comfortable with how things are like. and lastly im grateful to be living where i am doing the job that i have and that my friends and family are healthy ❤️

☁️: explain my username

HAHA so im from the era of social media where everyone replaced the vowels in their username with x……. bruh showing my age. but yeah its basically soft hearts but o = x so sxfterhearts (i think sxfthearts might be taken already) 💗💓💞

also got7 bias as mentioned is jinyoung!!! the one and only. I LOVEEE got7 and their music and they are also just a group of comedians 🥹 (that video where Jackson made the healthy shake with chicken breast?? JAIL but has me wheezing every single time) there’s so many great songs, but i think you calling my name is ICONIC and tomorrow today is just perfect!!!

[thegrimgrinningghosts]

i like to scroll through the snark pages of my fav content creators just to see what their haters say and most of the time its just insults about appearances and stuff but i keep seeing people being upset with the way the try guys content is going and i just wanna ramble about it

the food takeover -> i 100% agree with this, one of the reasons why shows like WAR and ETM were so interesting to me was that it was just one small part of the channel, it was like 40% trying 40% games and 20% food or something like that now its like 80% food and 20% other stuff and also the stuff theyre doing just isnt special? like "trader joes vs panda express orange chicken" put that into youtube and you see so many other channels with a video with that title its just boring!!! but you look up "baking cookies without a recipe" and you only get the try guys like its just a combination of good shit and nothing

trying -> i absolutely hate that theyve completely moved away from trying things as that was literally the core foundation of their channel! like yeah i get that they did a whole rebrand and are trying to move away from the past but like come on!! youre still the try guys!!!! you cant just *get rid of that*!!! and there are truly so many things to still try, like try guys try pigeon training or try guys try growing pumpkins idk those are basic but you get the point, its just really sad that theyre completely throwing away the whole trying thing

ETMs -> i have mixed feelings about this ... on one hand, ETM is one of my favorite try guys shows as its been the one thing ive loved since the moment i started watching try guys and has been a great thing to watch while i eat my meals. but on the other hand, its getting kinda clear that keith is getting bored/tired of it. and obv im not the first nor will i be the last person to say it, but its true!! but, we have to take so many factors into account, like how this show has been on for years, how keith is trying to be healthy, and how most fast food foods probably taste the same 😭😭😭😭 but people love it and it does wel so they are forced to keep doing it!! its a shitty situation but thats how youtube works

YT membership -> a lot of people r mad about how much is hidden behind a paywall but thats because youtube shoves memberships down peoples throats and its soooo annoying 😭 like im always getting them in the side of my youtube videos whenever im watching smosh, YOUTUBE is pushing it not the channels themselves it seems like so much is posted behind a paywall because it is and youtube really wants the money, but also most of the content is gonna be released onto youtube eventually so its not even that bad

cast -> im not gonna shittalk the cast cause thats rude so this section will be short basically, before the whole rebrand thing, there was rarely a video with just one of the try guys, you know? like even ETM or rank king had features of the other guys in there, so it was easier for me to consume all of their content even if i wasnt interested however because theres a larger cast there are a few people i am not really fans of and am not willing to watch videos with them in it unless i loveeee the video idea ... basically what im saying is cast is larger + videos will not feature every cast member + some video topics are boring = will not be watching every video

ill probably add more to this when i think about it but i just wanted to ramble after finishing the season finale of escape the kitchen