#but Jay's always so worried that this might happen again that he doesnt tell her anything that might distress her

[fishybehavior]

What do you mean only Kai can experience parentification??

I'm gonna give Jay so much- *gets shot*

[s0lar-ch3ri]

im on a bit of an oliver craze as you might guess, lemme do a ramble!

first off, yes, the angst of ollie remeeting chip and seeing hes dead is juicy, but consider: ollie doesnt understand death. he sees chip, and doesnt think anything of the paleness of his skin or the veins more visible on his skin, the lifeless look in his eyes. "oh, the black sea must have been hell! i knew youd be fine, the riptide pirates always make it through!" hed tell them as hed hug chip, not questioning why the man who normally was warmer then most people from his magic tattoos was now feeling colder then ever. nobody has the courage to tell oliver the truth, his mom doing everything in her power to keep the two further and further apart. ollie cant tell why, and maybe another argument happens. (im writing this part as a lil mini fic dw, lemme just ginish this) chip, kind of literally, cant find himself able to tell him, jay would rather not worry him more then he must have been, even gillion doesnt say a word.

okay now the fic part (basically ollie and his mom argue and its like the first time all over again)

"What is so wrong? Explain it then mom, why is it so bad to tell my friends, who by the way, could have DIED down there, that I missed them?" Oliver was tired of being so clueless to all this, just being the innocent small child needing protection from the 'evil' world. Hell, he was for a while a fully grown adult! Ollie felt the tears stinging his face, and it made him remember what it was like on the Albatross, the waves hitting him slightly either from being too close to Marshal John's escape boat or being close to Gillion's magic. That's why they stung.

"I am trying to protect you Oliver! I haven't had you long and, and I don't want to lose you again! Just trust me, I'm doing what's best for you as your mother."

"WHEN NOBODY WANTS TO TELL ME SHIT, IT'S HARD TO FUCKING TRUST YOU, ISN'T IT?!"

"Oliver Teach! If you want to use that language, then use it in the room, your grounded!" Already, Ollie felt regret for his words, yet the bitter taste poisoned his tongue and filled his body as he climbed the stairs. He saw a glimpse of Erza walking out of her room before he closed the door to their room.

It didn't help that there was the flag of the Albatross in here and had the whole pirate feel. Grabbing a pillow, Ollie screamed more words that'd he get a talking to from his captains if they heard him. After a bit, Oliver put the pillow back on the bed, and looked out on the look out installed into the house for him to use. Furiously wiping away tears wanting to come back, he saw the night sky, and it of course happened to be a full moon. It was as though Lunadeyis wanted him to go see Gillion and Jay and Chip, and with a breathe in, he followed the idea.

With careful scaling which reminded him of Edison Kingdom (he'd have to tell Leon about this for sure), he managed to get down safely. As Oliver ran, he had thoughts juggle softly through his head. Maybe he should have used the window for a less scary experience, maybe he should have locked the door, maybe he should have listened to his mother.

They didn't fully register, not until Oliver had snuck onto the ship. Not before Ollie had climbed up the rope on the slide and onto the main deck. Not while he used tricks he'd seen Chip use to the best of his ability so Alphonze wouldn't be alerted (if that was possible). Only after Ollie had ran below and hopped into Gillion's old barrel did it hit him; it was like the first time all over again, except this time he knew what ship he ended up on, he knew he'd be safe, he knew he'd see his sea family if they left in the middle of the night.

Then the footsteps came. And they got closer. And closer. And Ollie wanted to tell them he's here and ready to rejoin them. He didn't want to be left behind, but maybe the fear of missing his mom all over held him back. Maybe he really was terrified and didn't want to stop being treated like a clueless kid. Maybe he was scared for what would happen if they found him and took him back to his mom all over again.

Of course, a figure opened the barrel, looking more exhausted then when he first saw him.

"Ollie?"

okay i was gonna add the comparison one to this but ill just put it in a reblog lol

[neocrush]

— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

[chicagopd2020]

New Beginnings Are Good For Everyone!!!

Kim Burgess has loved everything about her job. Honestly it was getting to be a little to much for at times. She loves being an FBI Agent & helping save lives of the people & putting away the bad guys but she is ready for something different. She still wants to work in law enforcement but something with a smaller unit of people. Luckily she made a new friend with a woman that had some into the FBI a few months ago. Erin Lindsey.

She was given the job of showing her the ropes of how everything was done. Within the time that they had soent together they had become very close, she would even go as far as saying Erin was her best friend. She was jealous of her a little though becayse tge unit that she came from in Chicago was exactly the kind of work that she has always wanted to do.

It just becomes a bit much at times. I just sometimes wish I work in a unit like you used to work in, Kim says to Erin

Kim you have been here for right at 5 years if you a change nobody would judge you. Erins tells her

That may be true but I honestly wouldnt even know where to start, all I know is how to be an FBI Agent.

If I can set up a metting between you and my old sargent in Chicago, would you be willing to fly out there for a few days.

You would really do that for me? She asks

Of course as much as you have done for me its the least I could do.

Kim thinking that it wouldnt actually happen told Erin if she could set it up that she would fly out and me him.

Erin let Kim know to keep her a couple days & she would have an answer for her.

Kims weekend was pretty uneventful for the most part. It was just her & her couch...with the work week she had she thought she deserved it. Knowing Monday morning would come quicker than she wanted it to. As her alarm goes off at 4:30am like usual she gets up so that she would have enough time to get ready to make it on time to the office.

She arrives at the office at 6:30am like normal with her & Erin's morning coffee to help them survive the day.

Erin spots Kim walking her way with the extra coffee in her hand. She met her halfway because she was just so excited to let her know about the phone called that happened this weekend. She just had to let her know everything that she was told.

Good Morning Beautiful    Erin says excitedly with a huge smile on her face.

Good Morning to you too.    Smiling back to her

So I was going to wait til lunch and tell you the information that i found out this weekend but I dont think I can wait that long.

What are you talking about?    She asked puzzled

So I talked to my olf Sargent Hank Voight and he actually has an open spot in the Intelligence Unit. He is willing to meet with you next week to see if you would be a great addition to the team or not. I vouched for you and told him that he wouldnt find anyone better.

Kim had this blank look on her face...she just couldnt believe this was happening. She had pushed it of her mind thinking it wasnt going to happen.

I cant think you enough for doing this for me. What if he doesnt like me?

Just be yourself & he will love you. Plus ive seen first hand what you can do in the field. I know you are an amazing cop & would be a perfect fit for the team.

All Kim could do is hug Erin so tight.

She left for Chicago tomorrow & would be there for couple days. She has never been more nervous about anything but the only reason that she was this way was because she wanted it so bad. Everything was packed and ready to head to what she was hoping was the beginning of a new start to the rest of her life.

**Jay**

Ever since Erin had left without saying anything to him he just hasnt been the same. He goes to work does his job but besides that he doesnt really care about much of anything else. His job is the only thing that he has good going for him right now. He would only hang with the team at mollys for few drinks but he would always stay quiet just thinking about maybe what he done to cause her to up and leave him without as much as an explanation.

Everyone was worried about Jay, they knew he was hurting because of her leaving but he never let it affect his job performance. They just want him to be happy and find someone to make him happy again. They all know that she isnt coming back this time. She is gone for good and there is nothing that Jay,Hank or anyone on the team could do to bring her back. Maybe they could talk him into letting them set him up on a blind date.

5 months had gone by and he knew that he should put himself back out in the dating world but he didnt really want to start caring about someone again the way he did her just to be hurt again, but he also knows that he cant compare every woman to her and not every woman out there is going to hurt him or leave him. He just has to be a little more cautious this time before letting someone competely in. Maybe just maybe he might take the guys up on their option of letting them set me up on a blind date, I mean if it doesnt work out i mean at least he cant say that he didnt try.

He walks into the pin and he sees Adam & Kevin having a conversation so he walks up to them with a slight smile on his face.

Set it up. He blurts out

They both look at him kind of lost.

Ok..What exactly are you setting up?

You said that you wanted to set me up on a blind date & i thought that i would give it a shot. Whats the worst thing that could happen....Get stood up or End up not having a good time. I will never know if I dont give it a shot.

They were surprised but they are just glad that he is finally putting himself out there or at least giving them the opportunity to get him back in the dating life.

You got it brother..    They both say with a smile on their face.

Saying that he was nervous was a little bit of an understatement. He had arrived a little bit early just to make sure that everything was fine and set up to his liking. He had been sitting for 30 mins. She was a few mins late...whoever she was.

After sitting there for a little while longer he realized that she wasnt coming so he just decided to go to the bar and have drink or 2 or 4 he hadnt really made up his mind. He was sitting there looking at his drink when he seen a shadow standing next to him.

Is this seat taken? The nice lady ask

Not at all feel free he says as he goes back to nursing his drink getting lost in his thoughts.

Im sorry i dont mean to intrude but are you ok? You dont look the best...No offense. She ask him

No offense taken. I let my friends set me up on a blind date and whoever she was decided that to stand me up, so instead of sitting at the table looking like a fool i decided that i would come over here and have a few drinks. So i guess you could say that i have been better. Whats a lady like you doing out at this time of night?

I am staying in a room upstairs & have alot going through my mind so i thought that maybe if I came down here and had a drink that maybe it would ease my mind a bit and that i would actually be able to get some sleep. She informs him

Are you in Chicago for business or fun?

I am here for business I am currently living in Washington but I have an interview tomorrow and if all goes well then i may just end up permanently in Chicago. Heres to hoping she says as she holds up her glass.

He holds his up as well. I hope everything goes the way that you want it to tomorrow. My name is Jay he says as he sticks out his hand with a small smile.

My name is Kim it was very nice meeting you Jay but I think that it is time that i head upstairs to get some rest so that i dont look too tired in the morning. Good Night and I hope that your night gets better.

Thank you Kim, Good Luck tomorrow on your interview.

As she walks away he couldnt help but to look over his shoulder one last time before she was out of his sight knowing that he may never see this woman again. He was surprised that when he looked over he shoulder that his eyes was met with hers looking right back at him and she turn the corner with one final smile. When she was out of his sight he finished the drink in his hand he decided to just head home, turns out that being stood up turned out to be one of the best things that had happened to him. He really had to thank the boys for choosing such a horrible date for him.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK...AND BE TRUTHFUL & LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE OR NOT????

[batfamily--headcanons]

My Thoughts on Episodes 7-9 of Young Justice Outsiders

Episodes 7-9 of Young Justice Outsiders gave me what I had been wanting since it was announced that season 3 was happening. So, I’m going to talk about my thoughts on these three awesome episodes. Spoilers ahead (duh).

In episode 7, we got plenty of team bonding between Violet, Brion, and Forager which I was kind of loving. Brion’s “hot lava” comment had me laughing so hard and then the shade about Nightwing’s mullet and disco era made it so much better. The dynamic between Brion and Violet is something that I’m starting to enjoy and I’m actually starting to get invested in the new characters.

When they were having that campfire and discussing how stupid it would be for Batman to fight Superman, I was living for it. It almost gives me hope that DC might be able to learn from and even joke about their mistakes. Seeing Dick, Conner, and Artemis train a new team on the beach of Mount Justice made me seriously nostalgic for season one and it made me realize how grown up the original team is now.

Vandal Savage was there too, which is relatively common for Young Justice. As someone who used to watch Legends of Tomorrow, I’m just so sick of Vandal Savage that I don’t really care that he’s here. I get that he was the main villain for season 1 of Legends, but they overused him quite a bit and it feels played out to me.

In episode 8, Jade makes her (triumphant?) return. I’ve got to say, Jade’s appearances almost always irritate me. There hasn’t been much character growth with her, she’s just defined by the fact that she’s a villain even though she doesn’t really have much motivation anymore. Maybe I’m only angry because in the comics she did see Lian even though she was in jail and she wanted to be part of her life. At the same time, I understand that she thinks that Lian is better off without her. Artemis telling her to go visit and that she’s still Lian’s mother was good to see too. Even though she isn’t her sister’s biggest fan, she still tries to help her in a way.

This episode might have been my favourite of these three for three reasons in particular. Those reasons being Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, and Cassandra Cain. Just before they made their appearance on screen, I’ll admit to being kind of annoyed. We hadn’t much of Batman, Robin, or Spoiler since episode one and even in episode one, they were barely there. Everyone kept mentioning that Batman Inc. was happening simultaneously and that’s one of my favourite Batman stories. The fact that it was happening but we were focused on training on the beach was kind of irritating.

Then, we got to see the whole Batfamily (minus Jay and Dami who obviously shouldn’t be there right now) together in several scenes. I do hope that we get to see some part of The Killing Joke this season because it’s obviously already happened and because not everyone is well-versed in the comics. Casual fans are probably wondering what happened to Barbara and it would be bad storytelling to assume that everyone knows and to not tell the story.

As for the fact that Batman Inc., Dick’s new team, Young Justice, and Wonder Woman have been secretly working together the whole time, I’m not surprised. Batman wouldn’t quit the Justice League without a bigger plan in place and I knew that from the moment he resigned in the first episode.

In episode nine, we can really tell that this show isn’t on Cartoon Network anymore. Lady Shiva brutally decapitates Ocean Master, something that we would have never seen before, and I really enjoyed it. Lady Shiva is a dangerous assassin, she wouldn’t simply give him a warning, she would kill him. It is interesting that Lady Shiva seems like she’s going to play a fairly large role this season, the season that introduces Cass for the first time. As some of you may know, Lady Shiva is Cassandra Cain’s mother, so I wonder if they’re going to do anything with that.

I was worried throughout the episode about the superparents and their children. Logically I knew nothing would happen to them, but then again, we’re not on Cartoon Network anymore so I couldn’t be 100% sure. Seeing all of the League’s kids having one big play date was kind of adorable and it’s something that most superhero shows wouldn’t bother showing. That’s one of my favourite things about this show, it shows more than the heroes kicking ass, you see their every day lives too and the characters feel more fleshed out because of it.

Bart also got some screen time this episode and I loved seeing him help Iris with her speedster twins. I really hope he and the rest of the second team get some more screen time soon. As much as I love the original team and getting to know this newer team, I do feel like we’ve been seeing a little bit too much of them. I grew way more attached to the second Young Justice team than I thought that I would when I started season 2, which is why it sucks that we haven’t seen much of them.

To sum it all up, I enjoyed these three episodes more than the six that came before them, but I do understand that they had to set everything up in the other episodes. I do have some questions about certain things that haven’t been acknowledged yet like what happened to Arthur to make Kaldur Aquaman or why M’gann’s hero persona looks so drastically different. However, I’m sure they will explain in due time. Here’s to next week’s episodes and to seeing more of Jason soon, even though that’s probably not going to happen.  

[lunaschild2016]

Close To You - Part 1[Eric/Devi]

Rated: M

Title and inspiration from Close To You by Maxi Priest

Summary: Devi and Eric’s story continues, but this time we see things from Eric’s eyes. It was her belief in him that sparked them finally coming together, but where did it really start for Eric? The life of a childhood sweetheart, conspiracies, and the fate of the city all hung over his head. He didn’t need to be wondering how to get close to the tiny amity with fire in her eyes and a mouth to match. He didn’t need to worry and wonder about how he could find a way to just be close to her.

@kenzieam  @pathybo  @jaihardy @every-jai @ericdauntless @beautifulramblingbrains @bookgirlthings @jojuarez26 @oddsnendsfanfics @offroadinjandals @singingpeople @iammarylastar @irasancti @captstefanbrandt @clublulu333 @fuckthatfeeling @tigpooh67 @ex-bookjunky  @jughead-wuz-here wuz-here @badassbaker @beanzjellly @beltz2016 @meganbee15 @affabletimelady @scorpio2009 @gylisaa @geekybeyondallreason @violetsonthelam @kyloswarstars @emmysrandomthoughts @kgurew @beltzboys2015-blog @slytherin-princess-25273 @whatwouldbuffydo666 @jaiboomer11 @holamor @wealwayskeepfighting @original46  @blakefc @xtheserpentx  @artisthedgehog

She had an attitude I can't explain

You never know if you’re in flame

Tying me up with elastic words

I'm on a countdown till I get hurt

Her blood was hot she burned so bright

A neon sign there in the night

It's hard to say if I went too far

My heart still bares the scar

I just want to be close to you

And do all the things you want me to

I just want to be close to you (I just want to be close to you, baby)

And show you the way I feel

[Close To You; Maxi Priest]

Part 1

“What’s wrong with her?” I ask for what feels like the hundredth time since I stepped foot into the shit hole that Dauntless calls a clinic.

Once again I watch the nurses flutter around the girl on the bed, clucking like hens and completely ignoring me.

I run a hand through my hair and restrain myself from punching something or someone in frustration but I can’t completely restrain my impatience at being ignored.

That’s not something I’m willing to stand for, initiate status or not.

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is wrong with her!” I move up to stand right in front of one of the nurses that have stepped away from the bed and loom over her.

She’s wearing blue scrubs, meaning she’s from Erudite and most likely the one person in this place that’s actually fully qualified to have the title I see on her little badge clipped to her uniform.

“Eric Coulter, right?” She eyes me like a hawk and I feel irritation coursing through me. For a second, I also wonder if she’s one of Jeanine’s plants in Dauntless. That’s dismissed when she gives a strained smile. “You look a bit like your brother. I work with him from time to time. He mentioned your coming here.”

I narrow my eyes, not returning her smile and look past her to the girl still laying on the bed, motioning with my hand in her direction. “What’s her status?”

Candice, the name indicated on her badge, bristles at being ignored but answers me through thinned lips. “I have to call someone in to evaluate her, but we are drawing blood for tests and monitoring her until then.”

I look back at her and hesitate, wondering why the hell I’m getting involved and why I didn’t just leave the Amity girl in her dorm bed for someone else to deal with.

“You said you work with, Dr. Coulter?” I asked with appraising eyes, watching her closely.

“I do.”

“Then you won’t mind working with him again now, will you?”

I have no real power here in Dauntless. Not yet anyway. If I was making this same order to someone wearing black, I’m sure I would be sent away with a sharp reprimand no matter how intimidating I know I can be.

But Candice is Erudite and I have power there. My name is known. If Candice is a plant of Jeanine’s she’ll do as I say but report it back to her. If she isn’t, she’ll still do as I say.

Because, as much as I might despise it and have wanted to leave all that shit behind, I rank higher than her in their hierarchy. No matter if I wear black now, to them, I will always have true ‘blue blood’ running through my veins.

As expected she gives me a curt nod before moving off hurriedly. The other nurse wearing black gives me a look before following, and then it’s just me and the girl on the bed.

My fists clench to the sides of my body as I scowl down at her.

I hate that she’s made me care enough to step in and use my name for something when I promised I would get leadership on my own, no matter how much Jeanine tried to throw her weight around.

I hate that I’m thinking about anything or anyone else besides what I came here to do and who I’m doing it for.

Jules.

The thought of her has tightness in my chest that’s growing tighter the longer I look at this stupid tiny girl laying in the bed.

She’s not Jules. There’s no doubt about that.

Jules is tall and graceful with a smile that can infect even the snootiest of Erudite.

Jules who prefers dresses and ridiculous hats. I never have been able to figure out how she gets them all, and most of them are so ridiculous in order to get a rise out of me.

Jules who has always been able to make me laugh even when I’m in the worst fucking mood and even my brother can’t stand to be around me.

Jules who can sweetly cut a person to pieces and still leave them wondering if she was complimenting them or telling them to fuck off.

Jules, the best person I have ever known and the one I really want to save.

When I look at the amity girl, that’s who I see.

Jules is who I should be with. I should be there helping her and holding her hand or trying to make her laugh, but I’m not and it pisses me off.

Because coming to Dauntless was more important than the girl I love.

“You better not die,” I mutter angrily while glaring at the girl on the bed.

The whispered angry words won’t reach the real target, who I’m really saying them to. But I realize with some surprise that I also do mean them for the girl laying on the bed in front of me.

I turn on my heel and rush out of the clinic as fast as I will allow myself to be seen rushing anywhere. I make it to the training room corridor where control bursts away from me and I sprint into the room looking for something, anything, to make the tightness in my chest go away.

*****************************************************************************************

My brother is not who I expected to see standing behind the door of the office I was summoned to just before dinner but I can’t say the dread I had been feeling gets any better when I do see him.

If anything, it actually gets worse.

He’s standing at the end of a long conference table, hunched over papers and a tablet as I close the door quietly behind me. His presence makes me nervous as hell and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.

All I can think is something’s happened with Jules.

Elijah looks up at the sound of the door clicking shut and his eyes narrow as they take me in. I know he’s doing a snap evaluation, trying to determine a million things in the space of seconds so I won’t get upset about him fussing over me.

Even with all the recent strain on our relationship, Elijah remains the person I know I can count on most to truly care about me and how I’m doing. Even when I do my damndest to drive him and his affection away.

“Jules?” I ask, stepping forward and forgoing all greetings.

Elijah straightens and comes forward as well. I watch him carefully.

I never fuss over him the way he always did over me, like a parent rather than a brother, but I have always tried to watch out for him too. I see the tiredness etched into the way he holds himself and his face. Eyes so similar to mine that have never been able to mask his emotions from showing the way I do.

He smiles tiredly at me and motions with his hands as he speaks. “Jules is doing fine. She told me to tell you that you better be ‘kicking ass and taking names’.” He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “She also says hello and that we miss you.”

I sag a little in relief and nod while clearing my throat that has become thick with emotion. “Tell her I say, same and you bet your ass I am.” He gives me a smile and nod at my response and motions to a chair to sit. I do while throwing out my next question. “So, why am I here?”

“Well, given that you broke protocol and summoned me here, I thought you might want to know what’s going on with the girl, Devanna, I believe is her name,”

“Devi,” I correct him gruffly then frown at myself for caring enough to make the correction. Eli doesn’t say anything, just lifts an eyebrow and looks at his paper before correcting his notes.

“Devi.” He says with a nod.

“So what’s wrong with her? It’s been a day since I took her to the clinic, so it isn’t her just having a cold or something simple like that.”

The first day she had been smiling with enerving energy that just seemed to radiate from her. I almost thought she was going to explode from it there on the train. Even when she was panting and huffing from the climb and run to get on.

As the day wore on the smile faded and she withdrew. Some of the other initiates seemed to thrive on putting her down for anything and everything. Her old faction, her height, her accent...anything really.

Mostly this was other girls. The guys just dismissed or ignored her. Like I have been trying to do.

It was clear after the first night that something was going on with her but no one knew what. I wrote her off by the time we were going to sleep that first night. I just didn’t see her making it. Here we are at the end of the week and I don’t see that changing. I’m pretty sure that’s what my brother is going to tell me, that she’s done.

Once again, I’m cursing myself for not just letting it go and risking myself as I did. Especially now that I know it had been for nothing, because she’s gone anyways.

Then I remember why I ignored all logic and reason. I remember how I felt that night and what prompted me to take her. How small she was in my arms as I carried her through halls, trying not to race along them but feeling a sense of urgency I didn’t really understand.

She was moaning, almost deliriously, but not responding to anyone that was yelling at her to shut up in the dorm that night.

I laid there not saying anything to the others. though I wanted to so badly. To tell them all to leave her the hell alone. Then she went silent and I waited for something, some other sign from her that she was going to be okay.

The others around us were going to sleep, no problem, but I couldn’t. Her silence was deafening to me. I could have left her there and had tried to talk myself into doing just that. Until something made me go check on her and before I even got close I could feel the heat coming off her.

She was whispering something, so faint I could barely hear her until I crouched down beside her. Her eyes opened and they were glazed, she winced away from me and whimpered pitifully but she kept muttering. I leaned in even further and she reached out to grip my arm, and I could finally hear the broken pleading in Spanish.

“Por favor, no ... por favor ... Tuve que irme, abuela. Tuve que ... por favor no me odies.”

I don’t know what it was about her words. Her pleading for her grandmother to not hate her. To understand she had to leave. They weren’t some big revelation, I’m sure all of us felt that to some degree. Worried we are leaving someone behind that will be hurt or hate us for the choice.

It wasn’t so much the words themselves but the way she said them. How strong two of them were, how firm and how much fire was in them as she whispered them out over and over again.

Had to.

As if her life was in jeopardy if she didn’t go. If she didn’t follow her heart.

That was something Jules would do. She followed her heart and come hell or high water she would see it through. No matter the risk.

Did Devi know how much she was putting her life at risk just by choosing Dauntless? Did she even think about how she was nothing like a Dauntless should be in all the physical ways that matter?

But I was thinking like an Erudite with those questions. A Dauntless, a true Dauntless, wouldn’t care about any of that. They would just know there was no other choice. Just like Devi did.

Something inside me broke open for her right then and she wedged herself into a spot that I have hardened to all but two people in my life. Now I don’t know how to make that go away. Tightness starts to creep up on me again, my chest itches and I reach up to rub the spot but jerk my hand back down and look at Eli.

“Some of the others are saying she has the plague or something.”

Asinine.

I know better, and from his look at me, he knows I know better. His lips quirk in amusement and he shakes his head.

“We both know better than that. She is sick but it isn’t terminal…” He pauses and winces before his eyes filled with pain and he lets out a shaky breath then continues while I eye him and carefully mask my own pain “...but it won’t be pleasant for her in the least.”

I nod slowly. “So what is it?”

“Her body is expelling poison and it’s anything but painless.”

“Poison?” I almost shout the question and interrupt him.

Eli holds a hand up to me, a calming motion. “Peace Serum, Eric. You’re aware that Amity regularly imbibes in it, but it seems that her case is extreme. We are talking about a lifetime of daily exposure at high levels. Her body doesn’t know how to function without it anymore.”

I scowl in disbelief wondering how that’s possible and who in their right minds would purposely do this to themselves. But he said a lifetime, so does that mean even when she was really young?

I wave that away mentally and with my hand as well. “So what does that mean? She can’t continue can she?”

Eli shrugs and sighs before dropping his pen and leaning back in his chair casually.

“That will be up to her ultimately, but she’s already waved away the normal method of treatment. I can’t say I blame her. That would have meant removal from training for at least a week if not more depending on how extreme the treatment needed to be. Leadership has already said if that was the case then she was out with no other options available. I was near when the nurse gave her the options and she automatically turned the treatment down, already guessing that it meant she wouldn’t be continuing treatment. She’s staying and will let it purge from her system as naturally as possible.”

“So she’s going to go through initiation while going in withdrawal?” I mutter and look at the table while trying to deny how much that disturbs me especially knowing what I do about how withdrawal patients are treated.

There aren’t many cases where someone gets addicted to substances like I know there was pre-war and the drugs that were common are all but nonexistent for us now. But there are cases where someone gets addicted on the ones we do have and there are even cases where someone synthesizes a substance and then gets hooked on it themselves.

When this happens, the person is isolated and then their system is purged with a cleansing drug. Tests are run to determine how their body is handling the purge and if anything is still off then they are treated appropriately. It can take weeks if not months to treat some of the severe cases my brother has told me about and that’s just from a biological standpoint. Even after he gets done with them they still have much more to look forward to psychologically.

I don’t know if I can spend another night watching her suffer like she has been the last few nights. Now knowing what I do, it’s just bound to get worse and I can’t fucking handle that. “Why give her the choice at all? Why not just send her back to Amity!”

I look up at him when he makes a grunt and I realize that I spoke that out loud. My frustration is coming through loud and clear.

He leans forward with a frown of disapproval on his face. “You know very well they’re going to send her straight to the factionless, not back to Amity. I know you might not care for…”

“I don’t!” I’m breathing hard and rubbing my chest while looking around wildly. “I can’t!”

Elijah’s beside me suddenly and I didn’t even realize he moved until I feel his hands guiding me until my head is between my legs and he is coaching me through my breathing.

When I feel like I’ve gotten ahold of myself, I take the glass of water he hands me and avoid looking at him as I drink it.

I feel like a fucking kid again. Like when I used to have these same kinds of episodes after repressing feelings for so long until they boiled out and over. Elijah always tells me that trying to go through life so emotionally cut off isn’t healthy and I know he’s headed towards another lecture of that kind.

“Are you going to gloat now and say I told you so?” I ask him sourly when I look at him again.

“Have I ever done that?” I can hear the hurt in his tone but don’t respond. If I do I’m just going to end up saying something else hurtful.

I always do.

For being a so-called fucking genius, according to my old faction, I’m useless when it comes to anything resembling social graces. I learned early on that honesty is not the best policy for me. Silence is.

“Eric,” He says softly and leans forward, his arms on his knees and head bowed, “It’s okay to care about people. To open yourself to caring for someone.”

I sneer at him as I scoff, unable to remain silent, hard as I might have tried. “Sure it is. ‘Cause that’s worked out so well for me in the past, hasn’t it, brother?”

He looks up and I see the pain radiating in his eyes. I know my anger and words are opening up a wound we’re still trying to heal between us. That’s kinda hard to do when I’ve refused to talk any more about it.

“I can’t apologize for the way we both feel, Eric and I won’t. You two love each deeply other and that’s never going to change. What you two have is still there and it will always be there. It’s also different then what she and I have, and that has always been the case too, but it doesn’t make what you two share any less powerful.”

I nod and look away, gripping the glass tightly between my hands as my jaw clenches together. “But that wasn’t enough for me to stay, was it? I love her so much I left her when she needed me most. It just proves what I’ve always thought.”

I shrug and look back at him, knowing his next question but also needing him to ask it. Needing to expel it from me just like the little amity is doing right now with her own poison. He’s right I need to talk about this shit. I haven’t been able to until now.

I need to get this all out of my system so I can go back to not feeling at all. Then maybe I can get rid of this new sensation for a girl that has no chance of sticking around.

“What’s that?” Eli prods me softly.

“That I’m not capable of loving anyone but myself. I don’t care who it hurts in the end, as long as I get what I want.”

Elijah rolls his chair closer to me, his blue eyes that are normally filled with warmth are burning with intensity.

“I want to listen to me and listen well. You are not our parents and you have never even come close to them. You could never allow yourself to be like them.”

I listen but I can’t believe the words. I’ve never been able to believe the words. No matter how many times my brother has tried to reassure me of this over the years since our parents all but abandoned us.

His features soften and he smiles at me. “Yeah, you have the habit of pushing all your feelings aside and acting like they don’t exist, but you can never get rid of them. Which is why things like earlier happen. Because, it’s never been that you don’t and can’t care or love, Eric. It’s that when you do, it’s all or nothing for you. Bone deep love is what Jules has always called it. You left, not because you don’t love Jules but because you know that nothing will ever take that love away from you. Not even being in another faction. You said those same words to me when you came to me that night and gave us your blessing. It was something I already knew, but it was also something you had to realize for yourself and one day you’re going to find someone that you love just as deeply but in the it’s meant to be.”

I jerk my head in a semblance of a nod, not bothering to reply how I’m feeling.

I’ve forgiven Eli for taking Jules from me, well, mostly forgiven him anyway. What he says is true, I did come to see that how I love her and how Eli does, they aren’t the same. It’s just that in my mind that doesn’t really matter.

It still hurt and that wasn’t something I cared to open myself to again. I loved her but it hadn’t been enough. End of story.

He pulls back and I breathe a little easier when I realize he’s dropping the subject. Eli leans back in his chair and clears his throat.

“How’s training going?”

“Fairly good, although there was a surprise when it came to finding out how many fears we all have.”

Eli frowns at me. “Did your amount change?”

I shake my head with a scowl and look off. “No, it’s still nine. Which should have been the lowest fucking number among the group.”

“I take it someone is lower?.”

“Yeah. Four of them. The asshole even changed his name to the number of his fears.” My scowl gets deeper when I think of the scrawny Abnegation that’s causing me more uncertainty than he should be. “He’s a concern. I’ve heard some leaders and trainers saying they’re impressed by him. Rankings haven’t been posted since training just got in full swing, but I think we’re neck and neck for first. I’m pretty sure I got him beat in physical, and I don’t foresee fights being a problem, but the scoring percentage for the other stages is a serious concern with his number of fears.”

Eli taps his chin thoughtfully. “That’s an extremely low number. What faction is he from?”

I know where my brother’s train of thought has gone and I can’t say I didn���t immediately think the same when I found out Tobias Eaton’s number of fears. In fact, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to it and what I can do to remove the threat it poses to me.

“Abnegation,” I remark dryly and see him wince.

“It’s the Eaton kid?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.” Eli curses with a grimace then looks at me worriedly. “I know what you’re thinking, Eric, but don’t do anything you’re going to have to live with the rest of your life. You know what they will do to him.”

I shoot up out of my chair and pace around the room. “It’s not like I have a choice here, Elijah. You know what’s expected of me. At some point, I’m going to be expected to have results for them.”

“That’s what they expect. But when have you ever done what those pricks in our faction expect of you?” Eli demands from me fiercely.

“You know why I even bothered to give their offer a second chance. Jules needs this, Elijah. This is how I save her. What does it matter if I turn over some fucking stiff that means nothing to me? Especially if it gets them off my back and me first?”

“Is that really how you want to get your position here? By taking out someone that might be stronger than you?”

I grit my teeth as out the cursed denial, and glare icily at him, giving him exactly the reaction he wants even though I know exactly what the hell he’s doing by throwing that out there.

I call it manipulation and he would say he’s being my own Jiminy fucking Cricket

“How do you think this is making Jules feel, knowing what they want in exchange for her life? Jules knows you as well as I do and I know in your mind you’re already justifying it, telling yourself that any exchange for her would be worth it but how far do you go down that road, Eric?”

The tightness starts again and I let out a growl, spinning away from him and towards a wall. I feel like punching someone and Eli is the only one in sight. “Don’t bring her name into this like some kind of weapon against me.”

I want to punch walls but know we’re already shouting and that will draw attention we can’t afford. We are risking so much already. I stop in the middle of carrying out my need to hit something in anger and just lean my hands against the wall and hang my head.

“I don’t have a lot of options here,” I whisper tiredly.

“No, not a lot, but you do have a few. Eric, we know they’re afraid of you taking the power they covet so much. There was a reason for this and maybe what we need to do is to show them why they were right in fearing you.”

I slowly turn towards him, my mind working double time as my eyes narrow. He waits patiently as I process this, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’ll need help. Contacts that I know we can trust or that we can get leverage on to make sure they stay in line.”

“I’ve already started working on that. Jules too.”

I want to protest that, not wanting her involved but I know it would be pointless. They made me promise there would be no secrets and that I had to let them help in any way they could if I made this deal.

I gave a stiff nod and then looked at my watch. “I need to get going if I am going to get some dinner before lights out.”

He gives me a strained smile and nods but I see the hesitation. His internal debate and wondering if I will reject his show of affection or not. I step forward and put out a hand which he takes and grips tightly, his hand around my forearm while mine is around his. This is the form of a hug he came up with when I stopped wanting them years ago.

He smiles at me while we still hold firmly. Eli promises to make it for visiting day and that he should have contacts for me soon. We also share words of parting, mostly jokes that have been thrown around between the three of us of what I planned to do once I finally made it to Dauntless. They aren’t as carefree as they once were before our recent falling out, but it does hint that we can get there again given time.

When I go to leave he calls my name one last time and stands there looking serious and worried. “About the girl,”

“What about her?” I ask with a frown.

“I know it goes against what I was saying earlier about opening up and all,” He runs a hand through his hair with one hand and shoves the other in his pocket with the other. “But you need to stay away from her, for now.”

I let all expression fall away from my face and tilt my head. “Not that I see it being a problem for me at all, especially considering she isn’t going to last the week, but why? Does Jeanine know I called you in?”

He shakes his head while I can tell he is warring with wanting to admonish me about my callousness and wanting me to heed his warning for whatever reason. “No. Candice isn’t in Jeanine’s circle and wouldn’t want to be anyways. Something about a friend of hers that went missing or something. So Jeanine doesn’t know I was called in from her, but that doesn’t mean she might not find out from some other source. This girl, she might not actually mean anything to you, but Jeanine is crazy enough to grasp for anything that she can use to sink her claws in you even deeper.”

I feel bile rising up my throat at that but maintain my dead tone and a blank expression. “Like I said, it won’t be an issue.”

He responds with a resigned nod and I’m out of the door quickly after that making for the mess hall. Most of the other initiates had already grabbed food and headed for the dorm which was a relief since I didn’t want to have to deal with them. I ate quickly even though I wasn’t in a rush to get back to the dorm myself. Something about the activity around me and watching everyone go about their lives helped calm me.

Gave me the headspace to think and plan.

Elijah was right about handing the stiff over, it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t want to win my place here that way just like I didn’t want to have a bit of influence from Jeanine on the leaders to sway them either. In fact, I bluntly told her that was one of the conditions of my acceptance to work with her.

I also know without a shadow of a doubt that if turning number boy over saved Jules, even by way of securing my position, then I would do it and not even blink. If I had to carry that stain on me for the rest of my life I would for her.

The decisions, resolutions really, make me feel lighter. It eases some of the anxiousness I was feeling that I have a solid plan and course of action.

I even find myself talking to a few of the members at the table of the mess hall. I pick at the slice of cake one of the guys shoved at me and listen to them all bullshit with each other, but mostly I just observe things.

I see the stiff slipping from the mess hall, pulling in on himself to try and go unseen like he’s done from the first.

I watch the leaders as they look down at their noses from up on the balcony. Talking among themselves and hardly ever interacting with anyone else. But they’re watching, always watching, to make sure their bidding is being done even if it will lead the faction straight into war.

Max seems to be the one that I’ll have to be the most careful about. I can feel his eyes on zeroed in on me, watching and judging me. Even here when I’m eating dinner like everyone else.

I shift my focus and try to casually look to see if my suspicions are right when I see something out of the corner of my eye.

A small figure hunched over her plate at an empty table far in the back and cast in shadows it’s so out of the way. The tightness in my chest starts to creep back in and I jerk my eyes away, remembering my conversation with my brother.

I know I shouldn’t feel anything but seeing her is a relief. ‘Cause at least I know she’s alright.

So I’ll keep away, but I already know I won’t be able to stop myself from watching.

[lovebunnie]

nick carraway and jay gatsby are both gay and heres why

its 11:30 at night and i have class tomorrow but ive been itching to make this post for about a week so im gonna do it. this wont be centered as much around jay and nick being in LOVE, since id have to read and analyze it a bit more to make honest to god claims and opinions for that, but these r some of the reasons that point to both of these characters being completely gay. also, im going to be issuing some points from others sources, but ill include links to the original texts which i recommend reading!

1

so the great gatsby was written in 1925, a time full of alcohol, financial bliss, and parties like u would not believe. many of these themes are prevalent in the novel, making themselves known all throughout. even the term ‘gatsby-like’ is extremely well known. needless to say, this book is extremely well known in every front. one of the ones i saw the most was calling the great gatsby ‘the greatest love story ever written.’ and before i read the novel myself, i wouldnt have been able to tell u any different. but when u read it, and really, how u analyze it, really shapes how u see the characters. to some people, it really could be an amazing love story. but to me, this story is written about someone obsessed with a facade, denying himself who he is, and a man who watches his downfall and can do nothing to stop him.

one very important thing to acknowledge is how this novel is told: its told completely in nicks perspective. we only know how he feels, we only know these characters based on how nick sees them. it is immediately biased towards nick. and what he does is describe a hell of a lot of people. but it is very distinctive in the way he does it; men and women are very differently described.

nick describes daisy in her voice and the power it has over people. all of nicks flowery language goes into daisys speech, but not in great length about what daisy looked like. with jordan, nick does a bit more describing in the way she is ‘small-breasted’ and had the ‘shoulders of a young cadet.’ these traits are masculine, and we know from the novel that nick does enjoy jordans company and he does say he ‘enjoys looking at her.’ hell, even the name ‘jordan’ is traditionally masculine. nick sees jordan leaning more towards masculinity than femininity. but even still, the flowery language is not as grand as it could be, not as we know nick can get.

its when nick is describing men that things get bold and expressive. even while describing tom does nick go into great and intimate length with him;  ‘ He had changed since his Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw haired man of thirty with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding boots could hide the enormous power of that body he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage -- a cruel body’ the author of this paper literally said this passage ‘pulses with sexual energy,’ and this is for a character nick doesnt even like. it obviously means more in the way nick describes him, has more heart and passion put into it.

and now gatsby, who nick, in the final chapters, dwells on even more. we know gatsby is attractive, that much we can tell without nick even really having to describe him. but even in a single paragraph about his smile does it provoke more feeling than anything else about daisy or jordan;  ‘ He smiled understandingly-- much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you might come across four or five times in your life. It faced --or seemed to face-- the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.’

like. damn nick. this is only about gatsbys smile. this was no accident or cruel twist of fate; nick is enamored with jay and obviously finds him attractive and also enjoys looking at him, like jordan. nick sees men and women differently. this could be chocked up to ‘it was the olden days’ and ‘sexism,’ but nick isnt rude to these women, nick is simply not interested in them, at all.

but how do we know nick is gay? wheres the textual proof? its written out word for word, you just have to know where to look. and where to look is at the very end of chapter 2.

so chapter 2 does a lot for the plot; it basically introduces nick to the life these people live and makes him see how unappealing it is. we meet a large cast of characters and expand on others, like myrtle, her sister, and most importantly to the subject of nicks sexuality, mr. mckee.

mr. mckee is described as a ‘pale feminine man’ and nick offhandedly describes the smudge of shaving cream on his cheek. weird right? later in the night, nick describes himself as ‘ Taking out my handkerchief I wiped from his cheek the remains of the spot of dried lather that had worried me all the afternoon.’ nick has been LOOKING at this married man all night and cleaned him up when he was messy like come ON. plus, a ‘pale feminine man’ could very easily be a stereotype of a gay man, especially in the 1920s.

but then comes the most important part about nicks sexuality in the entire book: the ellipses.

the great gatsby is relatively short, only about 200 pages or so, give or take. fitzgerald would not include anything he wouldnt need, as he is also an expert in metaphors and making things seem as they are not. everything is masterfully placed and paced, making it seem to flow like water. 

the scene in question describes mr. mckee and nick on an elevator, leaving the party. mr. mckee walked out, leaving his wife, and nick decided to follow. heres the scene:

Come to lunch some day,” he suggested, as we groaned down in the elevator.

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

“Keep your hands off the lever,” snapped the elevator boy.

“I beg your pardon,” said Mr. McKee with dignity, “I didn’t know I was touching it.”

“All right,” I agreed, “I’ll be glad to.”

. . . I was standing beside his bed and he was sitting up between the sheets, clad in his underwear, with a great portfolio in his hands.

“Beauty and the Beast . . . Loneliness . . . Old Grocery Horse . . . Brook’n Bridge. . . . ”

Then I was lying half asleep in the cold lower level of the Pennsylvania Station, staring at the morning Tribune, and waiting for the four o’clock train.

LIKE. WHAT.

those ellipses separate the time between nick and mr. mckee on the elevator and nick and mckee at his home, with one in underwear and then nick leaving for the train at 4am. there is a large gap of time missing from this, and nick decided to leave it out while fitzgerald decided to keep it in. it means something, and the use of ellipses gives the audience enough to know what is happening without explicitly telling them. it is the authors ‘wink wink nudge nudge’ to the audience. think of the environment nick was in; tom was cheating with myrtle, the heavy metaphor of the eyes watching over the sins we think no one can see. this party was full of mischief and nick fucked a married man.

mckee does not seem intoxicated, he invites nick out to lunch while gripping the elevator handle, which are always objects shaped like dicks. plus in the novel, the scene does feel somewhat out of place; nick does not spend too much time discussing the interactions between mckee and himself, it seems thrown in. i get the impression that nick almost didnt want to include it it his writing, and put it in last minute. however, nick is fictional and i dont have much to go on off from an almost 100 year old book. its open to personal interpretation, but it seems like nick and mckee had sex and nick left on the 4am train, leaving mckee in his underwear at his own home looking through his pictures.

even at the beginning of the novel, nick is planning on living in a house with another man before the plan falls through and he goes to washington dc. could this be a failed boyfriend? we cant say. but it is a possibility.

nick carraway ends the novel mourning his friend jay gatsby, moving back to the midwest alone and away from the glitz and glam of new york. his ending does not involve getting married and having kids and riding off into the sunset, which seems bittersweet for our narrator. however, given the way things planned out for other characters, this is the best ending we could hope for for nick, one away from the destruction and one where he can at least begin to to to be happy again.

and now we move onto jay.

ill admit, this has little to do with textual evidence; i cant point out a place where jay fucks a dude or describe the way jay sees men and women; with nick being our narrator, again, he only know his perspective. but we do hear things about jay from other characters, how he acts and acted before nick and the type of man he is.

wolfshiem describes jay as ‘ very careful about women. He would never so much as look at a friend’s wife.’ this means that jay knows women and knows when to back off, never advancing on someone he had no claim to. this is very important to me for several reasons.

1. it implies jay is not a cheater

2. it implies jay has been around enough women to know who is who

3. it shows jay is respectful

this also says to me that jay is not bi; he only has eyes for daisy, and not other woman. and those eyes for daisy are questionable.

we know daisy and jay had last seen each other 5 years prior to the events of the novel. in that time, jay had collected numerous things about daisy, built a house just so he could see her, and blew thousands of dollars every weekend for parties in hope that daisy would show up, even obtaining money illegally just to impress daisy.

jay gatsby is obsessed with daisy.

this is obvious from the text, the behaviors he puts forward are strange and creepy in pursuit of daisy. gatsby stares longingly out the window, cant hold a conversation with nick, and flat out bolts out of a restaurant to avoid embarrassment. he is an awkward guy, no doubt. and he lives his life as trying to be someone else, specifically, the man he thinks daisy wants from 5 years ago. when the car crashes with myrtle, all gatsby cares about is how daisy feels; when hes literally about to get ganked all he thinks about is daisy, daisy daisy daisy.

this isnt love, and i think deep down, jay knows it. this is the equivalent of dudebros who go above and beyond to prove they arent gay but end up the most gay of them all. gatsby is compensating for his feelings and trying to push the limit to deny himself more and hide back into the closet. he wants to seem the most manly he can get and basically say ‘wow i love women! i love women so much! look what i did for this woman! look at how much i love her!’

daisy is the first person jay felt he could be himself around, could begin to feel happy. and when he went to war, he no longer had something to push all his feelings onto. plus he was surrounded by other men, and for someone so in denial about their own sexuality, it probably drives them to pretty bad places. pretty obsessive places. he needs daisy, not because he loves her, but because he needs to security blanket. he needs to feel validated.

those glaces and stares out at nick feel like cracks of the real jay poking through, one who likes men but cannot admit it to himself. after all, as a man so attached and desperate for the ‘american dream,’ back in the 1920s, that did not include marrying a man. jay lives with internalized homophobia and tries to calm his nerves with his pretend love of daisy.

i could go on and on about this forever but its 12:30 and i have class.

if u take nothing from this, let me leave u with these main bullets:

TL;DR

nick fucked a dude

nick describes men erotically while he describes women very dully

nick almost lived with another man

jay is obsessed with daisy to repress his emotions

the separation and wartime made things worse for him

his internalized homophobia causes the plot

his longing stares out the window at nick are cracks in his facade

ty and goodnight

[surviveatitlan]

Episode 3 - I’m Literally Googling How to Protect Myself From Hexes - Francie

Francie

I'm literally googling how to protect myself from hexes

Yep!! Two tribes of 9!! I know a ton of ppl on this tribe so that should help but like, I still gotta be careful lmao. I'm gonna try not to work too closely with Emily because I don't want to hear any bs about "premades" like the last game we played together

i am literally hosting/was hosting (in tim's case) half this tribe + emily is my cohost rn wtfffff omg

Tim

So everything was going goood in my old tribe and all of a sudden we SWAP? I was not readyyyy. Like we were gonna rule the game as a tribe of 5. Tolimàn was robbed by one point yall.

Francie

the original acatenango peeps (the aca tacos) are trying to get tim and autumn to work with us rn so lets hope we can get this group together and have it be solid. autumn has no og tribemates left so that might help us. people to be wary of: heather and emily, both individually and as a duo bc I know that they adore each other so I can totally see them being a duo I gotta downplay my attachment to the aca tacos, esp my ride or die olivia

Allan

I'm really glad this swap happened. I really didn't feel accepted by my first tribe and I know if we went to Tribal, I'd most likely be out. Now I have the chance to make new allies. My strategy is to tell them that I didn't bond with my old tribe at all and hope that they see me as an opportunity for an alliance.

Tim

Me after seeing this challenge: https://confsnavarino.tumblr.com/post/171111635506 ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY GO CHECK IT OUT LOL

Francie

yep. tim/autumn/sammy/olivia/me alliance is a thing now. fingers crossed

Tim

Fill me up will alllll your propaganda. This is my second chance and I'm ready to get to the end.

Jay Bee

Honestly I think this swap has put me in a good position. I know enough people well enough to have options, but not well enough that I think I'll be targeted because of it. I have no idea who the fuck I'm going to align with though. The idea of Rebecka/Madison is scary, and Timmy says Rebecka/Dan is also a thing. I trust Timmy for some reason (I'm a meninist #exposed). OKAY so here's a swap assessment night 1: Timmy - Like I said, idk why but I Trust Ha. Hopefully he's not secretly a rat Bryan - A grade a Good Boy. Would definitely like to align with him. We just called for like half an hour so I'm hoping to nail down a relationship there. Brian - Um? I guess he's pretty new, which I think is good. I think he's really the only person on this tribe with no preconceived notions of me or other people Rebecka - Love her to death but SCARED of her relationship with Madison Madison - Same Dan - Seems okay, but I know he's friends with Rebecka so we love a core trio AnnMarie - please work with me Nick - Nobody seems to like him. I think he'll go if we lose, which is at least convenient if not good. Debating if I want to work with him just so that I'm not on the bottom. Rebecka proposed a me/Rebecka/Madison/Timmy/Bryan alliance but honeslee? I think in that formation I'm on the bottom, unless I can get Timmy and Bryan to want to work together with me. Anyway as usual I'm screaming.

Autumn

Me coming home to a bunch of strangers in my tribe https://media.giphy.com/media/nLhdSinRtaL2E/giphy.gif Y'all snatched my whole family and I should be pissed but like I'm really here for this new group so I won't turn up (maybe). Tim is my son, I love Francie, Olivia, and and Sammy already, Heather and Allan seem cool, and then Emily and I are on good terms again lmao. No comment on Jacob. So I come into tribe with all these new people, I'm juggling 7 conversations, and then Francie was like hitting me up for an alliance. I say yeah I really trust you and less than a minute later I'm in an alliance w/ Francie, Tim, Olivia, AND Sammy aka everyone I love? Nut the admins did me a favor https://media1.giphy.com/media/OTbo92zetdsha/giphy.gif

Timmy

This tribe swap is the best thing to ever happen. I actually know where I stand with Rebecka which is great. I know she will always have Dan's interests over mine so that is something I need to think about long-term, but for now it is okay because we are working together. Right now my number 1 is still Jay, I just have a really good feeling about Jay. Bryan worries me because he is an amazing player and I did vote him out in Alaska so who knows if he is bitter about that but we're talking right now so that is good. The second I saw Madison on the cast reveal I knew that I wanted to work with her because we did not get to in Himalayas and I knew ever since then that I wanted to work with her. She is messy and consistently messy but that could be good for me. Might as well have her on my side because if she isn't then I could go fast. But this tribe is amazing, best tribe swap ever!

Jay Bee

I honestly have no idea where the balance between cracked and inactive is!!!! Do you just.,.,.,..,not talk to people? I don't understand. I'm screaming. Help.

Francie

we're towards the end of this challenge i swear to god if jacob doesnt come online in time and fucking costs us this challenge.......

Jay Bee

We're doing the challenge right now and I'm SO DAMN STRESSED. I have a very hard time trying to let other people handle things and trusting others in general, so this is a special kind of hell. I can't believe this season supports underage binge drinking AND I can't believe I wish I were actually drunk. Send help.

Autumn

Candle king walking into Atitlan tonight? Sounds A-lit-lan https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-01/7/16/enhanced/webdr08/anigif_enhanced-20692-1420664628-12.gif https://em.wattpad.com/f6983ef619f199370692a5d6aa61048004415cc4/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f5a6e503033794868705a68795a673d3d2d3437393237303538382e313465626162373863366266356435353733373138343330393837362e676966?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280

Tim

So I FORGOT TO CONFESS HAHAHAH But this tribe swap puts me in a seemingly good spot my tribe seems strong and capable! An alliance was formed by Olivia that consists of her, me, Francie, Sammy and Autumn.  I doubt that it will last simply due to the fact that it was based on absolutely nothing game wise. Im looking forward to working with Autumn closely as well as Emily so theres that! The 99 bottles challenge was intersecting as Jay would say. IT FUCKNG STRESSED ME THE FUCK OUT. It felt like I was micromanaging a little Ceasers or something. Making the lists AND posting at the same time?? Allan messed up but it was no big deal at all. JAKE DISAPPEARED ON US which sucks heavilyyyyyyy. Hes prob going if we lose again. Hopefully. ANYWAYS THAT reward challenge is giving me multiple strokes and gastreoarthritis or some shit like that lmao. I lieterally fel like Cirie in that one episode where she kept falling of of that balance beam. Im such a comp flop I mean the only comp I can win is Mastermind and thats if im lucky.

Nick

ABOUT TRIBE SWAP so we get into our new times and ONCE AGAIN all the people im close with exception for madison and timmy IS ON THE OTHER TRIBE AHH. Dan and Rebeckka hate me for the drama we had a month ago or so. Timmy is good friends with Dan and Beckka from what I know so like im probably screwed if we dont win the challenge. SO yeahhh this will be interesting I want my old tribe back LOLOL

Tim

So I forgot to mention that Em and I were sharing letters and so that at least lets me know that she is interested in working with meee. Also im gonna lie and say I didnt get a letter because I didnt attempt fhjksk s (Reward challenge that is)

Nick

CHALLENGE so we lost the semi live challenge .. kind of embarassing like too We had this whole plan set up and it got ruined Now i am going to tribal and welll if im voted out then i wont be surprised. Hopefully I have been proving myself helpful in challenges so hopefully im kept around longer #prayfornick

Jay Bee

This tribal is gonna be batshit!! Literally twenty minutes ago everyone was like "let's just go nick" but now I'm really Thinking About It and. That would be stupid. If you look at Madison/Dan/Rebecka as a trio (with Rebecka/Madison as a core duo OR Rebecka/Dan as a core duo) and with Bryan as kind of a gentle soul sucking their teet (love u bryan), then that's a solid group of 4. If Timmy and I (I guess I'm a meninst now bc we're f2 or some shit) go with that group, leaving out Brian and AnnMarie, to vote out Nick, that puts the two of us on the bottom of a 6-person alliance. The next tribal could be 4 vs. 4. If we save Nick, however, and vote off Rebecka - therefore voiding both the madison/rebecka duo and the dan/rebecka duo, thus destroying the trio - the next tribal could be 5 vs. 3 and we won't have one of the biggest social threats still in the game with two of her closest allies up with her. I think that would put me in a much better position long-term because I really need a core group of people who aren't ingrained with Emily/Francie/Heather/Olivia come a merge situation where it's my kids vs. me. Timmy, Brian, AnnMarie, and (unfortunately) Nick could be an integral part of that. Especially Brian, since he's new. I can use new. I need to keep around players who don't know me that well.

Timmy

Jay is cracked and I love her for it. We are playing so messy and are in alliances with literally the entire tribe. Love being a swing vote. Splitting up Rebecka and Dan is going to be a great move, it will suck personally and Dan will give me a lot of shit for it (and Rebecka might too) but it is just a game so have to have fun and being a mess is fun to me. Might as well be toward the top of a group than knowing I'm at the bottom of the group of 4 (Dan/Rebecka/Madison/me). I'm really just hoping this doesn't hurt me having a relationship with Madison at some point because I still want to work with her. The only worry in the plan is Brian because who knows what goes on in his head but I know he isn't controlled by Rebecka who is just telling everyone her plan and adding people to alliances without asking. Like I never said I was okay with her/dan/madison (I was happy to have a group, but a better one came along). All in all though, Jay is my number one so whatever benefits us both is what I am here for.

Brian

Its still eh. Some people are fake and there is so much pre-season relationships that i'm so oof. BUT i dont wanna be in the minority and if joining a make shift alliance helps, i'm down for it. 

Bryan

Woo ok so we lost. That sucks. But I’m in an alliance with rebecka, dan, jay, Madison, and Timmy. And our goal is to vote out nick. I’m fine with that operative. He already talked about wanting to go against me rebecka and dan so like oops. I also love Annemarie. I need at least one person outside that alliance and that is her. 

Allan

THANK GOD WE WON THAT CAUSE I FUCKED UP. But like seriously, I was so scared that we were gonna lose and I was gonna be at fault for it. Tbh I'm a little annoyed cause it really feels like Tim and I did all the work and when we asked other people to take over, no one offered. It really makes a bit dubious about trusting my tribe.

Olivia

Woohoo! We won immunity! I am just so happy about that. I have a nice sweet little alliance going with the three aca tacos and another one with us three and tim and autumn. Autumn is all alone and idk Tim's relationship with Allan. Tim Allan. Ahahahahhhaha. Anyways. Jacob's ass was GONE if we hadn't won. He is still my target should we lose the next one. I also did Pancreas and got a 29 minute score which I am assuming is terrible but who knows. I love Emily and Heather but I know for a fact, without confirmation, those two are working together. Emily has fawned over Heather since isle of skye and I just know they're a pair. I love both SO MUCH  but i can't fully trust either. I thought for sure that being on a tribe with heather and tim, two close friends of mine, we'd immediately bond and become our new ride or dies. lol. but i think i can still work with both maybe but i like the 5 i already have so i guess we will see. how is it i have two idols, an extra vote, and i won immunity in another org but this one i got THIRTY MINUTES at Pancreas. oh well.

Heather

I have not confessed about my new tribe yet. I am now on the Atitlan tribe which is fun, and I have Emily who is a queen. Plus now I have some of my Isle of Skye people. I've missed playing with Olivia so  much, ughh love of my life. And Tim is such an iconic king. Also Jacob from my other tribe, who has been inactive recently. Gotta do other impressions too Francie: I love them with all my hort. What a perfect bean. Allan: Seems super chill but immediately went into game talk Autumn: A sweetheart ughh my love. Saved our ass in the challenge like 5 times. Sammy: He likes musical theatre so I love him. nuff said AND WE WON OUR FIRST CHALLENGE TOGETHER WHICH IS FUN SO YEET

Dan

So this is a damn mess, I really want to trust that Nick doesn't have a secret majority alliance against me and Beckka because I don't know why literally everyone would just lie, ya know? But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens honestly. I think Beckka would go over me???? But like that's the ugliest thing ever. I don't know why Jay would make an alliance with most of the people in the game if it wasn't a solid thing, but like I'm still paranoid af. IT'S SO EARLY TO FLIP. 

AnnMarie

I am so glad we didn't have to complete the full challenge because that was something I did not want to do at all (sorry Cameron). The only.nad part is that we have to go to tribal. Nick's name has been flying from all directions, and it's the obvious easy vote, but Nick is saying that Dan and rebecka are a powerful team. Jay has said that as well, so I don't really know what may go down at tribal. What I do know is that Nick will probably be the person voted out, as long as nothing super dramatic happens in the tribe. I'm super close to Jay and she's just amazing, Dan's super nice, and I LOVE BRYAN OK HE IS SO NICE AND I HOPE HE DOESNT END UP BEING A JERK in the long run. I'm so happy that I get to play with these people, and I can't wait to start a good alliance in this game with them.

Jay Bee

Loyalty? Who's she?

I told Nick EXPLICITLY last night not to tell Madison about our plan or alliance because she would tell Dan and Rebecka. Today, I wake up to the intel (from Dan) that Nick told Madison about everything. And guess the fuck what!! She told Rebecka and Madison. I'M NOT DUMB, NICK! Thankfully they all thought Nick was trying to make a power play and they don't believe I'm with Nick. NICK DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW CLOSE I AM TO SLITTING YOUR THROAT!!! If you're gonna be loose-lipped I'm going to have to vote you out! Ugh. This is such a prickly position. I would much rather work with Brian/AnnMarie/Timmy just because they don't know me as well as Rebecka and Madison (and to an extent Bryan through Emily) do. I'm trying to figure out who the most disenfranchised people on the tribe are and use them because if I can be their only source of trust, they're always going to be loyal to me. The problem is that I don't want the next tribal to be 4 vs. 4. That gets messy really fast. If I do vote for Nick in the big group of Madison/Rebecka/Bryan/Dan/Timmy, that puts me in an alliance with all the power players and leaves out AnnMarie and Brian, who would be much smarter to have on my side in a merge situation, unless I want to go meat shield tactic in this game. I don't know Ugh. Timmy, please come online so I can talk through all of this.

Rebecka and Dan

https://youtu.be/AUDFxIjAuZM

Amanda (Guest)

Hello! So I know I'm not playing this game, and Cameron probably won't post this, but I was SUPPOSED to play this game so I'm leaving a confessional anyway. Just here to say that Rebecka and Emily are the true icons of the season for having me in their host chats and that's all. Also Cam. I love Cam.

Sammy

I’m so glad that our team won woooooo

Emily

Omg I'm such a FLOP! I didn't realize I hadn't confessed so hey I'm in public speaking pretending to do my work! Anyways, super happy about our tribe winning the challenge. I really was thinking we were going to lose because of FUCKING JACOB! He like. Was not here. At all. Total flop. Major flop. I haven't even heard from him in like two days. WHY PLAY A SKYPE BASED GAME IF YOU DONT CHECK SKYPE REGULARLY??? Anyways, I recorded a cast assessment but it's a mess because I'm really sad in it and you can tell im a mess so im gonna type it bc you can't tell im upset when im typing!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAN: Really helpful in the challenge so I'm a stan! Hard to talk to I think but I'm really vibin him. I think he's gonna be a good asset to our tribe! Yay! I don't really have much to say about him right now AUTUMN: I'm going to PRAY that she's not bitter from All Stars. That was like a month ago and honestly get the fuck over it. You made a stupid move and it backfired on you! That's it. Don't make a stupid move against me this game and I'll work with you! I really like Autumn and I like how she plays but reading her Navarino confessions I can tell she's just someone that holds onto grudges for far too long and it's annoying. All Stars is not a good representation of my game. WORK WITH ME PLEASE FRANCIE: love of my life.... I said in the beginning I didn't want to work with them but I realized that if I want to work with Tim.... Francie is probably also gonna have to be my ally. Francie and I were also talking about how, if we lose, Jacob would be an easy vote because he's inactive! I know that a lot of people would be fine with that. Also, he hasn't competed in Pancho so I don't think he has any letters? Like he didn't even get the one from the rules? So no idol for Jacob. Easy vote. Bye bye. HEATHER: I'll sell my soul for Heather. My queen. I love her. Honestly I can't wait for her to snake me. Fucking queen. I just love her. If anyone targets her I'M COMING FOR THEIR ASS. STAY OFF HEATHER BYE BYE! JACOB: Inactive. Bye OLIVIA: I REALLY want to work with Olivia. I plan on making her my number one in this game. I just get such a good vibe from her. She seems intelligent, stealthy, and fun... that's what I want in an ally. She also has some good connections with other people and she's got a good social game. Definitely someone I want to work with and go far with. But, not too far because she'll win the game, but... I'm also trying to be loyal this game. Loyal to a fault makes people upset. So. I'm gonna have to decide. SAMMY: I played with him and Indonesia and led the charge to vote him out right before merge so like he could hate me? But he also voted for me to win the game. SO. I don't think he's bitter, but he knows I think he plays messy. He's super sweet though and I'm a stan. I gotta be careful what I leak to him, but I like him and can see myself working with him in the future. TIM: MY KING! I love Tim and want to work with Tim high key. He's such a sweetheart and I'm really hoping we can go far. I'd be so down for a little group of he, Olivia, and I. Is that proper grammar? I don't care. Anyways, I love how he plays and he's very well thought out and stuff so I'm really hoping we can go far together. I'm a Tim stan. A major Tim stan. It's still too early for me to for sure tell you who I'm working with (I usually go from round to round, but I don't want to do that this game. No flip-flopping this time unless it genuinely will be better for me AND others.) I'm really trying to refine how I play. I'm trying to be more honest. More social. More logical and strategic, but at the same time, not as PURELY strategic? I need to make sure my social game is phenomenal before I start going off and being a strategic mastermind. People won't listen to people they don't like, and they won't vote for them either. Whew. Okay I hope this super long confession makes up for my lack of confessing. Goodbye!

Jacob

I was asked to make a confession so here it is. I'm glad we won or I'd be screwed for falling asleep after inventory bleh.

Timmy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OolhMHA3F0o&feature=youtu.be

Emily

Finding out all these people's zodiac signs is very inch resting... I y'all I really do. Capricorns? Gotta go next. I don't stan. Bye bye.

Madison

WHOO okay last minute confessionals lemme hear you say WAYYYY HO!!!! Nick is the vote which like awk bc now we’re in another game together so sucks I guess. Also he came to me trying to vote puts rebecka though so like wtf bye bye. 

Rebecka

Me if I get voted out tonigt: Thank you dan and jay for being loyal. Thank you also the the people who voted me out now so I don't have to go through a bunch of other rounds of drama and lose xoxo 

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 10 - “[SCREAMS]” - Dylan C

Dylan C

/FIRST/ EOE CHALLENGE???

Raffy

I'm kind of sad that I knew that they wouldn't have kept me regardless of what I said. So, I don't want to work with these people, but I have to put my best foot forward. 

Maynor

Well things didnt go according to plan. But atleast i told Raffy that i was considering Keeping after me and Dylan started talking. Atleast my core groupd Me Timmy Joseph and Stephen are still intact. Dylan is still on our side. Maybe something with Raffy. And Jack is a wild card. All i want is to make it to the end and im going to play my ass off. ❤️Jay.

Raffy

Jack is immediately latching on to me. I think I can get him on my side which means I need 1 more person to tie. Or at least, I need those 4 to survive this next round so that we have majority at F7 against Timmy, Maynor, and Jack. It probably has to be Dylan because Joseph would not trust him. In fact, I think I want Joseph to go this round more than anything else.

Jack

Okay, i came back in being like REVENGE MAYBE and now im like damn Stephen's pretty chill. Dylan and Joseph seem like maybe they'd go along with a vote with me, and Raffy and Ellie seem tight and like they'd come with. I'm probably being dumb and imma be voted out but I've got a thought about getting out either Maynor or Timmy. Thing about Maynor is that he Stephen seem tight (?) so idk how'd he got for that, and no offense Timmy, but the only thing i've heard about him is HE FLIPPED ON THE VOTE BRO. So like idk if imma trust that. Me and Raffy seem tight and like an alliance with him and Ellie, and maybe pull Dylan and or Joseph. Also maybe vote him or Maynor or Timmy out like that. But also make him think i'm working with him. And also maybe secretly actually work with him? Or maybe voting out joseph or dylan. It all depends on who wins the immunity (which Jay is still deciding) but yeah. Also Rafy hates Joseph and im like but i wanna maybe use him

Jack

Chatted with Ellie tonight, reaffirmed the her me and raffy thing, and like set out maybe her reaching out to joseph and dylan about a plan to vote for either timmy or stephen (im leaning towards timmy cause honestly i like stephen more and think that down the line we could work together you know?) I also proposed a thing where Ellie and I both separately go to stephen (i already kinda been doing that) and be like "woe is me whatever shall i do i totally dont wanna work with raffy, who do YOU wanna vote for" and hopefully from that shell tell me if they're gunning for me *cough idol* Hopefully my very nice and perfect on paper plan works out, but also like hopefully anything but me going out happens so yeah. Also is it bad that i'm mostly leaning towards timmy cause hes like not tlaked to me much at all and i dont know the guy?

Raffy

Maynor winning immunity is a huge bummer, but I have to somehow gather the votes to keep myself in this game. I was probably so close to winning, but I'm just depressed now. Hopefully the groundwork I laid out last round comes to fruition. 

Raffy

Joseph tends to do this thing where he gives you unsolicited advice about how you should play your game. It's the most annoying thing because I a) did not ask and b) do not need it. I know he's trying to help, but it gets annoying with every time he does it. It gets my blood boiling.

Also, I asked Joseph if he'd be willing to vote out either Stephen or Timmy because Maynor/Stephen/Timmy are a strong alliance. He says he can't which makes me feel two different things. They are all in a four person alliance together, or Joseph is a coward that can't do anything for himself. He latches onto people like a parasite, and he is slowly eating more and more hay, becoming more and more of a goat. And I don't think he realizes it which is the funny thing. So, in essence, I don't need the advice from a goat. His reasoning was the he cant vote against a strong alliance, but that's exactly why you should vote against them. Nonetheless, someone is at the bottom and not all four of them are making it to FTC. So, we'll see how that attitude pays off for him (Spoiler: It won't).

Maynor

I am so happy i got to win immunity. 3 pet stores and pets of friends, i got it. Which is nice since my last immunity win was for nothing. This round could be tricky. Like everyone can still agree to talk out Raffy which I want because he is a very dangerous player. I just hope that the target doesnt land on Timmy. He’s the only one that I trust 100% + more.    

Raff

Joseph is bad at this game. He is always giving me unsolicited advice about how I should play my game when he is the one who is a goat. If anyone takes him to the end, he's going to lose because in no world does he win with his group consensus attitude. He's not making big moves. He's being a sheep. So, if he thinks he's playing a "good" game, then good for his self-esteem. But, at the end of the way, it doesn't matter what he thinks. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of his own game cause I’m going to be on the jury. So if he makes FTC (which is a hard IF) then it’ll be my perception that matters, not his. So we’ll see who has the last laugh in the end. 

Dylan is ignoring me which is a terrible thing to do. Ignoring someone has the same effect as telling someone that you are voting for them. Except, for me, it's worse because it's a bad social game because instead of having decency and telling someone the truth, you are making them an outcast and making them feel like they are less than. So, good on Dylan for having a bad social game, but I doubt they ever had a good one in the first place. Within this single round, people are losing my jury vote which might bite them in ass later down the line, but I'm reveling in it. 

Raffy

Jack wants to make a move against Timmy in order to lessen Maynor's stranglehold on the game. So, I told Maynor and Timmy all of this with a plan to tell Stephen later in the day. I'm sorry to Jack, but I have to do something to preserve my game, even if that means getting rid of a guaranteed number on my side. As a bottom feeder, you do what you can to survive. This has to be the move right now. Maybe next round, if I win immunity, I can regain control of this game, but I have no control right now.

Ellie

So I just now realized that I probably look like a fucking goat to everyone, and I’m not here for that. This round Raffy wants to get Jack out and we could definitely pull that off buttttt what if we got Raffy out? I don’t want him to go but if he doesn’t go this round it’ll probably be next. Idk what I’m gonna do, I’ve been playing it safe for too long, but idk if I should make my move YET.

Ellie

Yeah I made up my mind. It has to be jack 

Raffy

Dylan came to me willing to vote out Stephen. I don't know how well I can trust that, especially after these last two rounds. They said they'd be willing to go to rocks, but that is not something that's making me trust them at all. This could be a game-defining move, but I just am not sure if I can trust it. I have a lot to decide in these next 5 hours.

Raffy

Time to be a crackhead again and vote for Stephen. Dylan seems to be down for a Stephen vote, but I am not too sure. All this game talk is making me crazy. It'd be a 4-4 vote, and I feel like we could convince Joseph or Timmy to flip and not go to rocks. We need this to work or our games are tanked

Dylan C

Me? Consistently voting with the same people each round? It’s less likely than you think

Jack

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Dylan's on board with voting Stephen tonight (kinda sucks cause id have rather gone timmy but aye thats how it goes) and hopefully Josephs on board too when he logs in. That or Raffy and Ellie and Dylan are all fucking with me and in kahoots with Stephen and actually voting me, but imma try and (o god) /trust/ them. Hopefully i won't go home with an idol in my pocket. also those "I just wrote a confessional" messages are both reassuring and SO SUS

Maynor

So right now the two names for the vote our Timmy and jack. And of course im do not want Timmy going. It looks like everyone is down to vote for Jack. And Kinda nervous that Jack might have something from EOE. Im hoping there isnt a blindside and Timmy goes. Would be a dumn move on Stephen and Joseph because the other side have already shown they would write their names down so it would be smart to stick with the Blindside Central alliance till like F6. Just hoping everything goes well tonight.

Ellie

VOTE SWITCH BITCH OMFG FIRST SEASON ELLIE COULD NEVER, LOOK AT THE RAFFY AND ELLIE POWER DUO GO

Stephen

Im wondering if I’m going home, Jack coming back is intense, and for some reason he might not like me? Whatever. I’m only worried cause people are quiet, im worried that now john and zoe are gone timmy and maynor might ally with dylan ellie and maybe even raffy. Idk, I’m worried

Joseph Collins

I have been approached with a plan. A plan so crazy it just might work. Apparently jack, raffy, Ellie, and Dylan want to blindside Timmy. I feel like it’s a ploy. And they want me to vote Timmy whilst all 4 of them vote for me. I can’t trust any of them 

Jack

So Raffy was worried about Joseph leaking our vote to maynor/stephen/timmy so even tho Ellie, Raffy, Dylan, and I are all going Stephen were telling Joseph Timmy. And rn i am thinking its a good plan cause Joseph is being sus with his looking at my message, not responding, but then going over to tribal chat and being there. Like any sort of plausible deniability is out the window lmao. If it ends up ends up being 4 raffy v 4 stephen and a revote im p sure joseph would flip rather than go to rocks. Hopefully tho this isn't all the reality of my previously justified paranoia again, and this time round everyones not legit out to get me lol

Jack

Josephs being real weird and basically said like if i dont vote raffy imma be the one going and like hmmmmmm but also like i think i trust dylan to vote with us, but idk. Like idk imma stick with our plan and not play my idol and porrbably go home cause fuck me but yeah WOOOOOOOW

Stephen

So, heres the problem. Lets say that everyone except Jack is voting Jack, and he has an idol/advantage. Whoever he votes for goes home. But if I vote Raffy that ties up his vote. However, if I do that and Jack has allied with Raffy Ellie and Dylan, then the vote is 4-3-1 and they choose who goes home. This... this is a really tough call.

Timmy

I'm freaking the fuck out. Like I don't want to go and it is a big concern that it is a possibility. I want to trust people but the only one I truly trust is Maynor. I mean also, Stephen and Joseph but not in the same way obviously. I just don't want to get voted out, especially with an idol. Jack is an easy vote, but people don't do things easily in this game. I just think it's the right move and I'm playing my idol if Jack uses as idol or advantage.

Dylan C

Right now the plan is, afaik, to have four people (Raffy, Ellie, Jack, and myself) vote Stephen, tell Joseph it's Timmy in case he leaks to Maynor/Timmy/Stephen and one of them has an idol, and then the idol will get played on Timmy if one gets played. In theory. We'll see how that goes. Joseph is trying to get me to vote Jack this round, because he doesn't want to vote Timmy, and I'm trying to, well I don't know what I'm trying to convince him off. I told him I'm not voting Jack this round, which is true, but I never told him who I'm really voting for. Who in this game haven't I lied through my teeth to at some point, honestly. Watch me get to the end but trash my social game in the process smh. Jk, I don't see myself getting to F2/F3 (whatever it is). But the point still stands. I could say I have a closest ally in this game, but that'd be another fucking lie. I've voted with different people at different points and haven't had a solid loyalty to Anyone. Agreed w/Joseph on his F2 comments for instance, but I'm not 100% solid with him. (Though, according to Raffy, Joseph is in some alliance with Maynor, Stephen, and Timmy that he's uber loyal to. Good for him lol. Can't relate.) If I have any strategy at this point it's just: play the middle and go after the strongest people/biggest threats. Be a big girl and don't die, and all that. (That's a podcast reference.) So, that's why I don't wanna vote Raffy or Jack, yet. Even with the threat of someone they'd work with coming back from EoE, I'd rather work w/them and have them stick around and target someone like Maynor, Stephen, or Timmy who are strong, worked in orchestrating two blindsides, and one of them likely has an idol I feel like. Also? Jack and Raffy make for good shields, and Raffy literally pitched that to me as a reason not to vote for him last round. Told myself I wasn't gonna listen to him, and was gonna vote for him anyway, but then Keith dropped and I thought about it more and here I am. Basically: Involve yourself in strategy but in way that there's always a bigger threat, or someone more disliked, than you around who the others will want to go after more.

Dylan C

Joseph saying that he's "gotten screwed so much" but still voting Timmy? [SCREAMS] Sorry, just got hit with the realization that if I had to define closest allies, they are Joseph and Raffy who I have both screwed over and am still willing to screw them both again if I need to? Now I'm feeling regrets? I hate having a conscience and playing a game where I'm lying to people a bunch for this particular strategy

Dylan C

Joseph: third time's the charm with trusting people so like, insert more screaming : )

[vampire-core]

okay for the hcs thing: the dragonets of destiny, ruby and nan, all of the ib squad, and uhhhthe pmmm cast if u want?? :3c

NICE ty babe!!!!!!!!

send me a character and i’ll answer!

(note: im kin w glory, mary, madoka, sayaka, and mami so this might be a lot of kin-based shIT SDFHSDKLF)

CLAY

A: what I think realistically

he is Boft (buff and soft) and also Lorg and if u are his friend and cold just tell him and he will drape his fuckin wing around u and curl up with you. he has at least 3 dragons cuddling with him when he sleeps

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes super bad at predicting jokes so he’ll fuckin CRACK UP at the worst fuckin joke u tell. he’ll also eat ANYTHING on a dare. even dirt or a handful of pebbles, thanks GLORY

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

hes actually got mental health shit goin on (depression/anxiety/prob ptsd/prob a pd) but he thinks he Has to be strong for the other dragonets bc theyre all fucked right up and he needs to be the strong support so he feels like he really Cant let himself break down at all, and it causes a Lot of pent-up sadness/anxiety/etc which he has No way of getting out

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

clay is aro/ace and in a qpp with all the dragonets. let him be not het?

TSUNAMI

A: what I think realistically

tsunami is fuckening BUFF as HELL. like. she can kick ur ass ur friends ass ur moms ass her OWN ass she doesnt care shes SUPER buff she will kick everyone in the THROAT she is FIERCE and PROTECTIVE and STRONG

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when darkstalker first busted out of the mountain (like a nut) she straight-up decked him in the snout. just fucken. P U N C H

it hurt her claws and she almost cried but tried to play it off as “im crying out of my own coolness”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt like glory hates her bc of how snarky and rude they are and like?? they logically know they dont but like. what if and she cant just ask them bc thatd be rude and glory would probably make a joke out of it, so shes stuck believing one of her supposed best friends secretly hates her and she doesnt know how to deal

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AS HELL let tsunami be bi and trans and have a gf…….

GLORY

A: what I think realistically

theyre used to not eating a lot and kinda always being hungry bc yknow no sunlight in the caves but they assumed it was like? normal? and being in the sun was like……. holy shit im finally Full…….. and they dont actually eat a lot but when they do its usually fruits bc they dont actually like meat all that much

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they can do spot-on impressions of SO many dragons, including but not limited to: the guardians, the other dragonets, fatespeaker, queen coral, riptide, morrowseer, and probably more and they love being able to say “im a pretty princess” while sounding almost exactly like kestrel

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

theyre rlly rlly good at hiding bc they HAD to be when the guardians got Pissed, so now when anyone is Vaguely mad at them they manage to find a way to hide and its near-impossible to find them, which has pppprob scared the other dragonets mny times

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

glory is genderfluid and gay and whom the Fuck is deathbringer?

STARFLIGHT

A: what I think realistically

he has some p bad anxiety so his Counting/Observing Things thing is a comfort mechanism of sorts that hes always really done. in the caves all he had to observe was rocks, torches, and scrolls but once he got Out he had so much that it was overwhelming. hes rlly good at describing things in writing due to this

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes always been SUPER clumsy so now that hes blind hes kind of just. tripping on everything. he fell off the side of a cave once at the academy and screamed and waited for death until he remembered that he is a dragon who can fly

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

abt the observing thing: now that hes blind, he cant do that, and it was his main comfort mechanism. so now during anxiety attacks, he has a rlly hard time calming down bc he cant just start observing whats around him, it doesnt WORK like that

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

HES ARO AND GAY AND IN A QPP WITH FATESPEAKER AND ALSO THE DRAGONETS FUCK YOU

SUNNY

A: what I think realistically

she has adhd!!! she has adhd-ph so shes always fidgeting/bouncing around/flying to try and get her energy out. clay, tsunami, and glory also have adhd and try to help her out whenever they can!! she loves to bake, but it takes a LOT of waiting, so its kinda hard on her

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she can be REALLY FUCKING LOUD when she wants to be, which NOBODY expects. normally she uses it for singing, or to startle people. she likes to be Loud while imitating kestrel, marching around and looking all Serious

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt Really ignored and, esp for someone who pprob has dpd traits, its rlly heartbreaking bc like. she doesnt feel wanted and she doesnt feel like she gets any attention and shes just!!!!!!! aaaagh

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes aroace and in a qpp w fatespeaker heck you

RUBY

A: what I think realistically

she was prob legally blind but not Fully blind before the glen, but she was admitted bc her sight was getting progressively worse and she couldnt continue to be an electrician, her job

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

“hey tom remember that time i fucken stabbed u” “lol remember that time u pushed stitches off a balcony, killing him instantly”

“tom if u dont shut up this second about furries i will stab u again” “…….nya” “im gettin my fucken knife tom”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she lives w a lot of guilt over killing tom and regularly has nightmares abt it, and even tho he assures her everything is fine she still regrets it so much but doesnt know how to make it Right in her mind

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AND AGENDER AND HER TOM AND JAY ARE POLY

NAN

A: what I think realistically

shes always been Super chubby, and she generates a llot of heat both bc Fur and bc Chub, so when her friends get Cold all u have to do is snuggle up next to her and ur instantly rlly warm now

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

kim teaches her how to dab and calls it a symbol of respect, and so whenever nan meets someone she rlly respects she just dabs as kim cracks up

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she keeps a journal bc her memory is Shit but shes still constantly worried that shes writing it wrong, esp bc shes usually dissociating enough that she cant remember what happened, and sometimes its bad enough to warrent a breakdown/panic attack

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look shes aro/pan/genderfluid i dont make the rules. also shes autistic

IB

A: what I think realistically

they know a little bit of asl bc theyre mute, and they carry around a notebook to write in when they cant sign. bc of this, they have rlly good handwriting and are also p good at miming stuff when they need to

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they accidentally learned how to swear in asl, so whenever garry sees them doing so and doesnt know what it means (and then asks) he almost starts crying when they calmly show him the word “fuck” written in their notebook

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they have rlly bad nightmares and is ppprob misdiagnosed due to ppl thinking the gallery Wasnt Real, doesnt get proper help, and lives w guilt over what happened and has NO clue how to cope

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look. theyre nb and pan. im not saying this is a hc im saying this is canon. theyre not cishet

GARRY

A: what I think realistically

hes pprob around?? late 20s-early 30s, so its kiiiinda awkward maintaining contact w ib at first, but then he becomes a Family Friend and babysits so its all chill

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes PETRIFIED of spiders and the one time he tried to be brave and take one outside for ib he screamed, dropped it, and nearly cried.

ib is capable of disposing of spiders in the way garry prefers (domnt kill them) and does so calmly as garry sits on the counter and screams

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he feels rlly guilty after the gallery and has NO idea how to cope, so he ends up drinking a bbbbit too much and hes also not rlly able to help ib, which makes him MORE guilty, and its kinda just a spiral of depression

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans and also adopts ib and mary and theyre a happy family

MARY

A: what I think realistically

she has NO CLUE what most things taste like, but someone let her try a cherry cough drop once, and now she just rlly wants to eat that fake cherry flavor again

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she knows how to say various swear words and looked garry in the eyes and said “FUCK!!!” once and he nearly started sobbing on the spot

also she doesnt know much abt numbers and thinks that since shes 9 and garrys 20-30 and 2-3 are less than 9, shes older than him and In Charge

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she died in pain and thinking her only friend hated her, feeling deeply betrayed :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

GARRY ADOPTS HER AND IB AND THEYRE A FAMILY also shes a lesbian

MADOKA

A: what I think realistically

shes rlly good at drawin!!!! she doodles a lot in class to help her focus, plus she just rlly likes to draw, so she ends up bein rlly talented!!! she esp likes to draw her friends bc like. why not???

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

everyone expects her to be terrified of bugs and sayaka to be the brave one killing them when in reality its sayaka sprinting away as madoka calmly takes it outside and goes “dont worry its okay!!!!! :D”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels rlly inferior to everyone and, along with being shy, thinks shes honestly useless to a team. its not that she hates herself, its that she thinks shes rlly boring and doesnt have much going for her, and she has no clue how to help or communicate this

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

she and sayaka are DATING theyre GFS also madoka has dpd

SAYAKA

A: what I think realistically

shes mega bi. shes bi. she is just. bi. her first crush was wonder woman and she prob liked hitomi at one point. shes the one friend who gets crushes on EVERYONE, and i mean everyone

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when she gets bored, she makes up random stories in her head and narrates whats going on in the lives of passerby, and now she has a huge elaborate universe thats like a soap opera in her head. she has a theme song and everything

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has bpd but no clue what that IS or how to COPE, so being a magical girl was ppprob a rlly bad idea due to the lows bpd comes with, esp since she based her wish on a person/fp. so she was?? p much destined to fall into despair, even if it wasnt over kyousuke

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES!!!!!!! DATING!!!!!!!! MADOKA!!!!!!!

MAMI

A: what I think realistically

shes a rlly organized person so mess just Ticks her Off, and she spends most of her time just making sure everything is clean. its kinda a comfort mechanism at this point??? like it just makes her feel better

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

shes constantly trying 2 pick up on the current slang and be Cool w the Kiddos these days but shes always at least 3 steps behind

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has dpd but since she lost her parents and kyoko abandoned her, shes had nobody to depend on, which kinda sucks? bc like. shes constantly second-guessing herself and has no clue what shes doing and feels so alone

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes trans gay and dating kyoko

KYOKO

A: what I think realistically

shes SUPER good at sneaking around/stealing things and lvoes to startle/prank her friends w this bc like??? oh shit sayaka is ur phone missing who couldve took it, oh look madoka got a text from u wonder who sent it

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once ate an entire bowl of sugar on a dare from sayaka and got the WORST stomach ache for a day and half, but claimed it was worth it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always been rlly underweight and manages to steal food Sometimes, but has probably been caught and hurt for doing so

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

A LESBIAN DATING MAMI

HOMURA

A: what I think realistically

shes RLLY talented in a lot of areas due to the many timelines, but shes never rlly grasped the arts?? ie drawing, writing etc, and she has NO clue how madoka does it, what the hell

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

its RLLY hard to make her laugh but she can and WILL crack up if you look her in the eyes and say “egg”

on a similar, note, she once said “i want kyoko to vore me real good” completely straight-faced, deadpan

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has a LOT of trauma she could never rlly talk abt w anyone, esp a therapist, due to the timelines so shes rlly not coping at all in the slightest

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes GAY and prob dating hitomi

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 6 Confessionals

I mean I didn't make the idol play. But um #LUKEDIDTHAT. Love he did that. But Lexi self voting??? Ruining Luke's plan of getting someone out? ICONIC!! Poor Lexi is prob going to go home lol. But I'm happy the idol I found did something but sad that its now gone and a new one? might be able to be found for those  4 remaining.

One more fake swap / fake merge and I'm going to vote myself off this island.

So iconically, Luke idolled, which i'm happy about. I'm NOT happy about Ryan being voted out considering I was kind of wanting to play a game with him. It also doesn't make sense considering... he's tried in every challenge, and has helped out the tribe greatly imo, but then again - we don't know the social dynamics and tribe outlook on their tribe. Carson told me he found an idol, and i'm superbly excited. Will he use it on me? Likely not. But it's still good to know we have it in OUR possession, and i'm not planning on leaking a word. The fact that he told me is satisfying though, and I do truly feel as if he's my #1 in the game right now. The challenge? Pass. It's something... logic puzzles are... awful (yet a little fun at times, sure). The cup thing... whomst... and the counting? I'm fairly triggered. I'm going to likely sit out because i'm busy today and I just couldn't care or want to do ANY of that. also why is there no SWAP!

Last tribal was fun with my idol play but Lexi made it less iconic with the self vote but that was completely understandable since she has a lot going on personally and I hope she's okay <3 It worked well in the sense that Jordan and Jay can still convince Lexi that they just had to do what they had to do with the tie and they saved her over Ryan. I compleTELY FUCKED UP THE COUNTING PART OF THE CHALLENGE WHICH I WAS ALREADY EH ABOUT DOING SINCE IT'S THE WORST BUT EUUURGH I MESSED UP. I'm hoping that we can win but if we don't then I hope I can trust Jay and Jordan enough to keep our 3 alliance strong and just vote our Lexi unanimously providing she doesn't have an idol or anything like that. I'll make an update after results...

Can you believe we win again? If we merge, it's gonna be 7-3. What a time to be alive!!! 

WHEWWWW i searched Mancos for the idol bc of my idol clue i got and i fucking found the idol and wow... i decided to tell Zach because I definitiely wanna nurture a relationship with him (love him so much) and we're a dynamic duo for sure!! i only talk to hi9m though and i def gotta fix that. playing this game AND another game at once is just a bit much but im still doing my best.

OKAY IM SCREAMING HOW DID I EVEN GET ANOTHER REWARD?? Idk how many rewards there have been in total bc I forgot but I've gotten 3 and didn't do 1 bc it was too risky but like what the heck how is this even happening?? I'm shook 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5g0x_0uPJo

WE WON IMMUNITY YESSS!!! going into the final 10 7-3 is definitiely amazing and im assuming luke goes on the other tribe. im fine with that bc it seems like everyone on my tribe is close to luke, so theyll be closer to me if hes gone!! im definitiely enjoying this tribe but like.. where does everyone stand?? who knows. we havent gone to a tribal since eric combusted and i dont know where i stand. i trust zach and i kinda trust bryce even if we dont talk strategy but idk where everyone else stands. katie truists me i think, but idk if i talk to her enough for it to be a FULL trust between us?? shes probably the one i trust the most after the other 2. charlotte is... whew?? she hates zach im pretty sure so like... idk about that personally. shes a good player and also like... idk i just dont talk to her as much as the other returnees. willow is cool and shes super nice but we NEVER talk strategy and also she like gave tons of info to eric allegedly then voted him out so idk if i can trust that rlly but like  thats a bit hypocritical bc i kinda used him too. i need to try talking more strategy with her. and chris... we talk and they're pleasant conversations but like willow, i dont talk strategy enough with him. plus hes a good game player from what ive seen in this game?? i know hes busy so i just gotta start getting a bit more out of him. my social game has def been slipping and if i dont get it up, im looking at a merge boot status bc tbh? i think im a pretty big threat. ideally, jordan pines is merge boot, then we can use lexi/jay to possibly get out some of our tribe, maybe charlotte?? on second thought i could use jordan for that too but like.. i dont trust jordan lmao. IDEALLY, id like a boot order of... f10: jordan f9: charlotte f8: lexi f7: willow f6: chris f5: jay f4: bryce f3: katie/zach, depends on who i think i can win easier against?? then ideally a final 2 of me winning. but survivor is always changing, so nothing is for sure. thats just how id LIKE it to happen, but nothing is gonna happen exactly so ill just pray!!

We lost immunity...again...shocker! Jay approached me earlier to potentially blindside Jordan and get him out since he's a huge threat at the upcoming merge but ultimately decided that using his connection with Katie and his reputation as a meat shield would be to our advantage since we're both winners and that is enough to get people to target us. It feels weird working this closely with Jay. If we merge next then plan to get Katie using Jordan, Carson using Jay and Zach using myself and then add Charlotte into the group and we should have a strong group. I also want to find out who gave me the immunity idol so I can first of all thank them, second of all ask them why and third if all work with them. I just hope I'm not being screwed by Jay the same way he was trying to screw Pines. 

Confessional #1 this round: Fuck ulta, i hate this tribe, i want to leave, ryan palmer let me go home

I accidently self voted last round and it tied between me and ryan because luke used an idol. so they voted ry out and i cried alittle. thats about all. 

Confessional #2- Rip Lexi, this is wrong, how the fuck are we gonna be at 3 players, after this wtf they have an entire tribe waiting to fight us

Im so happy we won again to be able to go into a merge with 7-3 majority maybe and a 4 person group into the 10 person game! Things are going well

Wish I can find the idol and hope luke doesnt go out either here

bye lexi! honestly like... idk. all newbies on their tribe are gone, it's so funny. im anticipating merge! or a swap.. or something. its 7v3 for crying out loud! im not sure what my move is going forward, but i think im confident. just kidding, i'm likely leaving. this is a bs conf but i may make one tomorrow hehe

haha I beat Jay

wow can't believe I'm this seasons challenge beast

We're really that tribe that's completely decimating everything.

I've been out all day and I see that they voted out Lexi. Every tribal that Jordan pines makes it through makes me even more nervous about getting to a merge with him around. We didn't have a good history in our last game but I'm hoping that there are more people around with bad blood with him so I can kinda just get by without getting any shots fired at me. I just want to go into a merge already. None of this potential "tribe swap" to make things even for one more round. I usually get fucked in a swap and I'd rather not have history repeat itself.

Over the course of the past week or so, i've been attempting to mend things with Charlotte. She's the only person that I feel like would be dead set on getting rid of me, so to weaken that desire would be sufficient. I also want to work on Katie and Chris a bit more so that the newbies (since i'm already decent with Willow, I believe) would be more loyal to me. I need opportunities! As for the pending upcoming merge or swap, i'm not ready. I would hope the 7 Ulta stay together for a BIT or something, like vote out Jordan. I'm semi-close with Jay and Luke, so would I want to vote them out right away? Well, in the wise words of Jay - absolutely not. But I would if I had to. I'd be more lenient with voting Jay since i'm now developing a friendship with Luke (because of another ORG) and I really like him, he's a cool kid. Him and I have NEVER worked together in past ORGs so if we manage to survive and make it on a tribe together, it'll be something refreshing. Carson's still my favourite though. He's a social god and it's scary. The kid has school from like 7-3pm and still finds more time to message me somehow or someway. It's... wildt. I trust him to an extent and him and I both have agreed that like we'll go far but obviously we are bale to betray one another if essential to our own game. I likely won't make it that far though RIP. I told him i'd be his lapdog, despite the tag of the season o.O Bryce. I didn't mention him yet. He's cool, him and I rarely talk but I think he's overall a great person. I'd like to talk to him more but our last conversation felt dull and I can't force a convo (not his fault, communication is indeed a two way street.) Nonetheless, it's something I may have to work on for my game. Also lowkey it's so funny because two tribals ago, you provoked the question regarding returnees and newbies, and here are some facts: - Ryan asked you to stop shoving it down his throat. He got voted out consequently. Iconic, right? - All newbies on their side are eliminated - All the boots in the game in general are newbies (with the exception of my Bahamas representative Willa...RIP good soul. The good die young!) So basically a returnee will win this game. It might be slightly worrying to Katie/Willow/Chris and they may want to extend and form bonds with OG Copa so that they have backup, because obviously there's a trend with voting out the newbies. Anyway, this is my third confessional this round... more than expected hehe hope you enjoy! P.S look at this rude ass message: On 2017-09-14, at 6:36 PM, carson wrote: > Use the Golden Rope to hang urself please HSDGNISDGNDS It was so funny I choked bye now

I seriously thought I was being screwed this round because I didn't think Jay would flip on Lexi but he did and I'm still here! 5 votes against me and I'm still here which is great!! There are only 3 of us left on Copa and we're an alliance so if we don't swap/merge and lose immunity then....it's going to suck. I think maybe I'd be in the middle? But equally Jordan and Jay have known each other a lot longer than they've known me so they might see me as disposable and get rid of me which I hope isn't the case. I really wanna merge and go work with Zach, Charlotte and Carson who I know and think I could work well with. Also Bryce, a newbie from last season, someone who I'd be interested in hooking up with in this game and working with!

So I got another advantage which is lit, I guess all these advantages are making up for kvaloya, anyway who knows how I'm gonna be able to explain the randomized vote?

Okay so like I just realized I'm in another game with Eric. And I kinda led the charge to get him voted out so I'm trying to win immunity otherwise he is totally killing me so sorry this is a terrible confessional but I'm STRESSING. 

If we don't merge I'm so incredibly fucked

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 7 - “my dreams are never wrong - Zoe

Stephen

Odd round, Merge, yay, then immunity, double yay. But everyone being really quiet and not a lot of drama? Makes me wonder if the drama is happening away from me, and about me :/ Joseph seems to be the vote, and im hoping that its the right move, i just worry that john and zoe are in an alliance with people from the other og tribe. Just a feeling.

Maynor

So the target tonight is going to be Sierra. But Sierra thinks that the target is Joseph. It kinda sucks but I dont see Sierra being a good ally for me because a little paranoid. Like i heard they told Joseph they were the target. Who tells the “target” they are the target? There are many alliances that i may not be in but I love that Timmy is in them cuz he tells me everything and i tell him whats happening on my side. No one really knows we are actually working together. Like Dylan forgot Timmy was in Kalokairi 😂😂 only person who would be a huge dangerous threat is Stephen because he knows of me and Timmy playing together in Kuwait. Right now the first two targets are Sierra and Stephen. Stephen saved himself by winning immunity. Congrats to him. I feel like he could be a good number but at the same time he’s a play that “goes with majority cuz doesnt want to vote in minority” so he wouldnt want to make a risky game move when it has to be done. I need people who are willing to.

Dylan C

andjskdbakdb this is late af because I’ve been at a family event all day but anyway. Uhhh short version is that there’s the Sierra vote, with Joseph as the decoy that got kinda messy but I think it’ll succeed in the end? Every time I messaged someone outside Mental Gymnastics I just outright lied and played dumb, and acted like no one had told me anything about that vote. Idk how many people believed that, and if it was actually useful but that’s what I did. 

Raffy

I am glad that Sierra left and that the vote went smoothly. Apparently, Sierra was really pissing John off at the latter half of the round. They were calling John and Zoe suspicious and shady which is true, but they don't need to know that. Not only that, but Sierra was giving me fake info and tempting me into saying a name the whole day. I was giving them basically zip and keeping my mouth close. They were definitely trying to rat me out. So, I am glad that they are gone. Finally, Joseph was apparently paranoid till the end. So, I need to keep an eye on him.

Stephen

Yeah johns a snake :/ basically he didnt get to vote out sierra when cormac went, and now he flipped at merge, basically handing the other tribe majority. Now, I’m not a tribe-loyal maniac, but i must say itd be kinda dumb for him to flip without a solid alliance already established. So either johns an idiot as well as a snake, or hes always been a snake, but there are snakes on the other tribe too :/

Raffy

I decided to pair up with Timmy because I feel like we could work well together in this challenge. I am concerned with Stephen and Joseph, however. I definitely do not want them to win, at all. It would boost their egos, plus if Stephen wins then he'll dodge the vote again. Also, I don't want Zoe/John to win because they would be the most likely to get idoled out instead of me if Stephen uses one. So, there's that. Here's to hoping I win this challenge. Sierra dropping does not concern me in the slightest. That's just another person who I don't have to worry about coming back into this game.

Dylan C

On call with Mental Gymnastics. ideally if things went our way, out next boot order would be Stephen, Joseph, Ellie, and then Keith/Maynor (no one really specified. probably Maynor first). Assuming people don't get immunity at inconvenient times lmao. Also, it's gonna be fun when we get someone back from EoE. It'll probably be Jack, who will probably have grudges against old Melrakki so us old Ulfur can manipulate that hatred to our advantage (wink wink, nudge nudge). and all of this is assuming that this alliance actually holds solid through the rounds. Will it? And then we have to vote each other out? Or will we turn on each other? All of this is subject to change round by round as in any game.

Raffy

I can imagine that Stephen is going to stay pissed at Zoe and John since they blindsided him pretty hard. Hopefully, that'll keep me safe for a few rounds since they will serve as meat shields.

Maynor

It’s a little wild how im able to make people believe that I’ll do whatever they say. Zoe told Timmy, “I have Maynor. He’ll do whatever i tell him.” Im like so you think. Hopefully Im able to get people to get rid of Zoe soon. This is why I want to win immunity so i can save Stephen because if we lose, he’ll be the target and I need him to stay in because only one i know that would go after zoe and john. 

Raffy

Yesterday, I received some interesting information from Joseph. He sees John and Zoe as a power couple, and he is thinking about voting against them in this round if they do not win immunity. To me, this is a good sign as this can be used for whenever I decide to turn against them. I also see them as a power couple that is dominating the game currently. I guarantee that if we did touchy subjects, one of them would receive Most Likely to Win. However, I do not want to make that move right now. I am sitting in a comfortable majority, and, if I turn my back on it, I belong to no side, becoming a pariah. Which mean, if no one wants to stir the pot, I would be the easy vote. I know that they have Keith and Maynor. I know that I could convince people on Ulfur to vote with me, but it needs to be at the right time. Especially if EoE is still in effect. The only person I've told this to is Timmy, and, hopefully, that information stays sealed. I don't want John to freak out on Joseph and a) create a bigger target for himself and b) shift the target from Stephen who I do not talk to.

John

today has been damage control time. stephen got burned by me especially on that sierra vote, and i need for him to feel secure with me moving forward. granted, he is a threat, and probably will be targeted if he loses immunity, but hopefully me going to him before the challenge is over is more believable than had i approached him after the challenge.

Maynor

Ill start by saying ❤️ Jay. So i finally finished the idol hunt and in the last puzzle i saw Dylan’s name cuz they were signed into their account. So im like 👀👀 dylan might have found something. So need to be careful there. And the challenge i hope stephen’s poem will get us the win. 😊 i really dont want him to go. My roommate says Hi.

Stephen

Me, looking at Maynor doing very little for this challenge >:( Google translate: Great Lovers I’d never thought I’d say this but I think Google Translate is shipping Me and Maynor. We’re Google Translate’s OTP

Raffy

John claims that he is doing damage control with Stephen. His plan sounds legit, but I doubt it would mean anything. Giving people a false sense of security makes them bitter towards you in the end. Ellie says that Joseph still believes I voted for him which sucks, but I wouldn't trust Joseph with a baby doll let alone my game. So, I guess this works out in the end. I am affirmed that Ellie is working with me because she was going on about how no one realizes that we are working together. 

Joseph Collins

Me and Kieth were on this metaphorical sit-out bench which could mean trouble for us. People might think I’m comfortable which is when people go home. Womp womp

Stephen

So this game has gone weirdly for me. I dont tend to function well in large groups, so the one world twist did not benefit me much. For others, it definitely worked, and I would be absolutely stunned if John Zoe Raffy and maybe Timmy did not have an alliance that had been around for a while. They’re just too confident and votes have seemed too spontaneous to not be planned by a strong alliance. So what do I do? I try and lay low, not force a new alliance or search for tea to be spilled, i sit and keep chatting and wait for someone to spill the tea on their own terms and try and pull my vote. Its risky, because if my name comes up I have no protection, and its also not a play im used to. But, if i dont try something new its unlikely ill ever win a season right?

Raffy

I'm so happy I won this immunity. It's the greatest feeling in the world to know that all my hard work paid off. This means that I do not have to concern myself too much about this vote, especially considering that we are splitting the vote 5-3 on Stephen and Joseph, respectively. Then, it does not matter who they vote for or if they have an idol. I think this is a great plan because I do not trust Stephen and I definitely do not trust Joseph. Our plan is this: Votes on Stephen: John, Me, Timmy, Ellie, Maynor Votes on Joseph: Zoe, Dylan, Keith Even if Maynor is not 100%, I know that Ellie and Keith will be. This means that the split vote will work no matter what with either Stephen or Joseph going. My job is to tell Ellie about the vote and get her on board. I think I can manage that. Zoe is talking to Keith, but I am also in his ear to make sure things go smoothly. I do not believe that he knows that Zoe and I are working together. I feel like a lot of people in this game think that I am someone who is in no alliances and just lost for the most part. That's wrong. I'm the person who's going to sneak their way to the end by playing dumb. In that way, people will underestimate me.

Joseph Collins

People want to blindside Stephen as if they power duo of John and Zoe doesn’t exist. We’ll see. I’m gathering my troops

Raffy

Ellie confirmed with me that she is voting for Stephen which is good. I talked with Keith, Maynor, and Joseph throughout the day. Keith knows about the split vote which I thought was weird because I thought we weren't telling anyone outside our alliance, but that is fine. I just played dumb because I do not want anyone knowing that I am working with Zoe or John at the moment. Maynor and I talked about the vote a little bit. I was just trying to confirm what Zoe and John told me about him wanting to vote Joseph. What I found is that this was true for the most part. I'm playing up the part of the person that's unsure and out of the loop to him. He told me Zoe mentioned both Stephen and Joseph. Honestly, I wish EoE would just be over soon because convincing both Keith and Maynor may be harder than I thought considering that Zoe has them wrapped around her finger. I am attempting to tell Joseph that Stephen threw out his name which is true. I'm hoping that Joseph will take the bait and vote out Stephen instead of his little plan to vote out Zoe/John. 

Timmy

A whole lot has been happening this round. So Raffy’s plan is to get Stephen to go and then split the votes between him and Joseph. Maynor wanted Zoe or John gone or to get rid of Joseph instead which is what it looks like it’s coming to. Sometimes I hate being in the Mental Gymnastics alliance because I think I’m on the bottom, so bc I’m in it I’ll be seen as a goat in the end since I’ve been quiet. My org mistake is being a crackhead too early but someone is still coming back so idk what might happen. If Dylan R participates, he has a good chance at coming back since he’s good at challenges. Who knows what will happen after tribal but I expect no matter what that things will be wild.

Maynor

I have become a crackhead. This tribal is going to be an interesting one. If this vote goes according to plan then. 👀 EllieApparently Zoe wants and Stephen-Joseph split with more on stephen. Guess who’s gonna be on Joseph damage control again!

John

this vote could go so wrong hahahahaha. i really wish it was joseph that was the target instead of stephen. but, i had to do it for the alliance. too early to go rogue.

Dylan C

God I'm so bad at confessing in this game. Oh well. My alliance is coming up with a plan to vote Stephen, but is splitting votes onto Joseph in case of an idol play. I don't actually know what is going on too much because I've only been skimming the messages and haven't been talking strategy with other tribe mates as much as I should have. But also? I've been out here living my life and hanging out with friends so it's worth it.

Dylan C

expect a video confessional some time soon when I actually get the chance to film and upload it

Maynor

It looks like I might be out for the count. Joseph isnt responding to me but he’s online. He is also being very shady. Feel like he leaked stuff and it is going to be me tonight. Might just be paranoid but everytime i feel like this i get voted out and it has happened everytime. Ill be sad if i am voted out. I tried so hard but o well. Im still hoping plan works out and everything would be okay but josephs behavior isnt helping anything. Just in case. One last ❤️ For Jay.

Timmy

We gettin out Zoe tonight! It's lit peeps. Honestly I'm definitely screwing myself over with this, but that's the fun of survivor....gotta take shots and regret taking them rather than regret not taking them to know what happens. Truly it's the crackhead in me. All credit goes to Maynor on this one because he really supplied the crack today to make a move and i couldn't be prouder of him. With that information and everything set, I made the alliance to make things solid and so I can get further along in the idol hunt :)

Timmy

I FOUND AN IDOL!!! AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO SLIDE PUZZLES!!! I feel so much more comfortable with my cracked energy now because of this. I feel a sense of safety, although that could also be because I'm immune tonight due to the challenge. So yay! But this secures my safety for if I come in last for a challenge again.

Maynor

It might be happening. Im crossing my fingers. Im scared. 😳

John

raffy scares me. yeah i’m in an alliance with him but he’s really showing he has mental prowess in this game. and that’s dangerous.

Zoe

I'm feeling so paranoid. I had a dream last night that Raffy orchestrated a blindside against me, and everyone on the tribe was on board with it. He must have triggered some strange internal awareness in me because I don't trust him at all anymore-- and my dreams are never wrong.