#but I've also heard people say jose

[findnanako]

Find Nanako in Jose from Persona 5 Royal.

If you have a photo you want Nanako to hide in, feel free to submit it to the blog.

Remember to reblog to have as many people find Nanako as possible.

[dnalt-d2]

(Please note: I am only going to speak about things that are verifiable, either by Lea, who we know for a fact at this point was an admin, or by our own observations, like hearing what's happening on certain streams, or other verifiable announcements. I don't want to talk too much on things outside of that because it could technically be speculation, and I don't want to mislead anyone. I will do my best to state what is and isn't speculation in order to keep confusion to a minimum. I'm also going to remain as impartial as possible, and only provide facts as they've been presented to us. This is basically just meant to be to organize some of the things going on into one post so that people who aren't on Twitter can get a good idea of what's going on instead of just hearing it from people who keep vaguely doom-posting)

So as has been the case for the last couple weeks, the Admin Situation continues to unfold. In a manner of speaking, at least

Since Quackity made his initial statements, we haven't gotten any sort of concrete news from him, or even an acknowledgement that things are still developing. Like I've said in my previous post, I haven't been expecting any concrete updates, since that sort of thing would most likely be sensitive information that he legally can't share. However, I do find it disheartening that he has continued moving forward without so much as acknowledging the situation

I do understand that a lot of current plans have been in the works for a while now, and couldn't be pushed back that far without detrimentally affecting other people, including the new streamers who likely carved out large chunks of their schedule out specifically for QSMP. So keeping the server closed for too long could have easily had negative effects on many people, including the Admins. But I want to say that I just don't know everything going on behind the scenes, and this isn't fact. It's just what I understand to be happening

And while we still haven't gotten any official statements regarding the Admins since Quackity's statement, things have still been happening, most of which we are probably never going to hear about. Some of which though, we are hearing, and it's not sounding that great, unfortunately

Do keep in mind however, that the following is just what we're hearing about, and because of the NDAs in place, we likely CAN'T hear about anything else, including any potential positive changes that might be taking place. We still aren't going to hear about any changes until they're concrete. This has only been taking place for a couple of weeks, and none of the changes can be made immediately. With that in mind, here's some of the verifiable information that has been making the rounds recently

As I've stated before, the French Union has gotten involved, and by this point, has stated that the Admins CAN potentially pursue legal action if they so choose. However, I want to emphasize that this doesn't mean legal action is guaranteed. This just means they have the OPTION to do so. Which by the sounds of things, it doesn't seem like anyone wants to do that as of right now. This is essentially just one more thing to give leverage to the Admins, letting them and Quackity know that they have that right. But if things can improve, they don't need to take them

(Link to their English post here)

As of now, one of the higher-ups in Quackity Studios, Jose, has been tweeting out that he is speaking with other Admins/Ex-Admins about everything going on, and gathering testimony in a document to present to Quackity. Last we heard, he was still gathering testimony and speaking to lawyers to ensure that everything he was doing was legal. And that as of now, organizing a meeting with Quackity himself has been a little difficult, I believe for scheduling reasons, as well as the fact that he's still gathering information (I was actually hoping to wait until this document was out to make another post about all this, but people keep acting like things are only going downhill, and I wanted to go ahead and give my two cents)

(Links to his posts can be found here and here)

We have also heard about 2 Admins quitting in the last couple days. Pancks, who was the roleplayer behind Agent 18 and Xaninho the Capybara, as well as other Portuguese-speaking NPCs. He has not given a clear reason for quitting aside from the fact that he feels he is done with this chapter of his career and wants to do other things. He has also asked us not to speculate his reason for leaving, which I am going to respect

(Link to his post here)

The other Admin who quit is a writer named Ana, who put out a statement saying that she was removed from most of her roles without being given a clear reason, while other writers still retain theirs. She states that her main reason for leaving is the lack of communication since things have gone down, which is not a great sign

(Link to her post here and her document here)

Lastly, we know that merch is currently being announced. So far we have 4 standees of the Eggs, Dapper, Trump, Leo(?), and Pomme, and will probably get more in the next few days. I want to point out that it's incredibly unlikely for this to have ONLY been started for the current situation. I'm personally assuming it was originally meant to be for the 1-Year Anniversary of QSMP starting, but has been pushed forward slightly to help raise funds for everything going on. Organizing merch production usually takes a while, which is the only reason I'm assuming that this isn't just coming out of nowhere

To wrap up, things haven't resolved yet. And that makes sense

Reorganizing an entire business takes time, even for people who are experienced in that sort of thing. But from what I understand, Quackity is not, and that's likely what led to this situation in the first place. Anyone trying something this big is bound to mess up, and unfortunately, this just happens to be a VERY big mess-up. Not too big to fix, but big enough to be difficult. And while we are hearing about some negative things happening, I want to remind everyone ONCE AGAIN, that we will not know anything until it's concrete, good or bad. The people speaking up don't seem to be doing so with any ill will, and many of them still seem to see QSMP as a positive experience overall. Just one that needs to be improved upon for the better of everyone involved. Right now, I'd say the main problem is, once again, communication. It's unfortunate that people keep bringing up how they haven't heard about anything going on, and that is very understandable. It's hard being kept in the dark on something like this, especially for people who were actually personally involved prior to this

The Admins/Ex-Admins have every right to be impatient on this because they're the ones being impacted the most. Because they've likely been patient for far longer than we have, and know a lot more about what's happening. That's why Lea has been doing her best to be vocal and support the current Admins and pressure Quackity Studios, even with the harassment she's apparently getting for doing so

But for us, who are simply viewers, just doom-posting and assuming the worst won't help. (AND NEITHER WILL HARASSING PEOPLE) Yes, we should be vocal in our support for the people affected, but there will be a point where shouting into the void is gonna be more detrimental than helpful. I believe that by now, we've gotten our point across. That Quackity and Quackity Studios know that we don't want to support a project that has to take advantage of people to keep it running. I'm not saying to let everything go completely. I would personally advise that people who want to should stay as educated as possible, and help educate anyone who wants to know what's going on

But if this is still affecting your mental and emotional well-being, stepping back and waiting to see what happens is probably the best move you can make. Spreading outright negativity won't help you, and it won't help the other people involved. I know that sometimes not knowing things can cause a lot of anxiety. Heck, that's why I make these posts, so I can help other people know what's going on. But other times, it can be entirely counterproductive. It's why I try not to doom-scroll through most social media in general, because I know that sometimes knowing more just means having more to worry about. It's up to you guys to find the balance that helps you, and I hope you all take care of yourselves in spite of everything going on

[nyotaslove]

messy(!!) gender, language, etc. thoughts ->

I want to keep track of what's going on in non-English/specifically Spanish queer circles in terms of language. I honestly do not feel, at times, like I have any stake in any of the 'slur' discourse that goes on in this site. It's not really tied to me. When I was growing up, the slur I heard most often was maricon. I am only 'out' to people I trust, and am often (not always) straight-cis passing, so my encounters with much of these words has largely been not-negative-to-me (I hope this makes sense). Sometimes other classmates would fling about 'that's so gay' in a pejorative tone, but the one I heard adults shout about both at home or across the street, or be worried their children would be turning into, is maricon. I don't think it's entered the English language/queer circles like 'taxi' or 'mano a mano' has. I'm very curious if it ever does, and what it will be made of it.

I've heard of someone taking on maricon as a third-person pronoun/identity. I thought it was so interesting. This thing I've only ever seen people run from, before. I want to learn more.

It was also interesting when, on online, I think I saw some monolingual English speakers decide a name like 'Charles Elizabeth' or 'Victorian Benjamin', etc. were 'more' genderqueer and a new innovation. (How do you measure that?) That struck me as very funny because Jose Maria and Maria Jose (forgive me for not adding accents in this moment; I will return and do so) are very common. It's the name of Jesus' parents, Joseph and Mary, in the Spanish-language Bible. This revolutionary English moment is very old and common across several nations and generations of the Spanish speaking world. I've also met cis-straight French people with these names, and am curious if this can also be true in Portuguese speaking countries. I wonder how many other things I'm missing because I do not speak these languages.

It also reminds me of how the endings -a/-o making this feminine/masculine in Spanish. Juana/Juan, Omara/Omar, etc. Sometimes, I encounter people whose names are not used in English/Spanish, and it is the first time I am encountering this name, and they are men with their name ending in '-a' that would lead me to think they are women in Spanish. But their names will be very traditional and masculine for their country. Normative. I do not know their languages' rules, history, and can only be grateful there are more ways to be than I knew of as a child.

Further, I think of pronoun usage in English. This can be brought about in speech, most easily by saying, "I am a woman, I use she/her pronouns, etc." or "I work as an actress"[occupation with gendered ending people can opt-into]. Or, smoothly, in third person: "She is my friend, and an actress." I feel like the first option is clunky when self-introducing, the second natural, and the third option, someone else speaking of you, very nice -- only the first half of that sentence is necessary to highlight the correct pronoun. The second option is not available for many jobs -- doctor, lawyer, teacher, cashier. (As a note, I think the first option can be strong and there is value in being disruptive in language patterns).

But in Spanish, the amount of occupations where your identity is gendered is overwhelming: doctor/a, abogado/a, profesor/a, cajero/a. You constantly make a choice, and the choice can make it easier if you are self-identifying your gender to others: "Estoy aburrido/a, soy un/a bien trabajdor/a, trabajo como un/a boxeador/a." It's hard to speak in Spanish without running into a gendered choice. It makes it easier for people to know, if you exist in the binary, which binary choice you are making. This is not true for every state of being/occupation, such as being an artist. But these gender-identifying options are even open to some emotions (ie there is a word for being bored or angry or tired in both a masculine and feminine way; but not sad or hungry or happy). Even to the extent and idea of 'we' -- nosotros (all masculine or mixed group) or nosotras (all feminine group). 'We' as a group are gendered. But then what if you exist without it?

Some nonbinary people who exist in both Spanish and English words find refuge in English for this reason. Others, purposefully switch between both. En este momento, estoy aburrida, pero generalmente, trabajo como camarero por el dia y tutora de pintura por los tardes. In this moment, I am bored, but I generally work as a waiter in the day time and a tutor of painting in the afternoons -- waiter is the only gendered word here [masculine], while in the Spanish I am bored in a feminine way, a waiter in a masculine way, and a tutor in a feminine way. Would you want these options? Can you have these options -- some people will think you are confused, and gently correct you, if Spanish is not your first language.

Others use the ending -e, adjusting the -o/a, when possible, for gendered words. Others use only their names as a pronoun, when friends speak of them, to erase any ellos/as when speaking of them. These friends carry their names with love in their mouths. Even the word friend, amigo/a, is gendered, making it hard to speak of my nonbinary friends to family; I find new/old words, like amistad, which is non-gendered word for both friend AND friendship. My friend/friendship.

I like using it/its in English. This is not possible in Spanish -- its it/its are the gendered el/la. I like English it/its, because it feels like an option to blend in with the world, like a camouflage. But the Spanish-language world--our plants, drinks, sun, sidewalk--is also built of it/its, only every aspect of it is gendered. Why does this feel so different? A masculine and feminine thing of difference. I do not know; I am curious what others think of this; I have not (knowingly) met any other Spanish-speaking people who use it/its.

I want to learn more about this, about our ways of being, both traditional and new. I think there are some ways we are missing each other. This was very messy, but I am sincerely curious to learn more.

[quinnysnursery]

https://www.tumblr.com/quinnysnursery/761935299507027968/guess-whos-in-their-depression-era

I don’t watch Jake Johnnie Tara or any of that group, is it okay if I asked what he’s been through? I’ve seen some of his depression content before I was just wondering

yes ofc!! not a little friendly post!!

also it should be noted that these are just the things i know, i could be missing some stuff :

his father passed away when he was super young, he's been dealing with depression and anxiety since he was a child, he went to a christian (catholic? i'm not sure) school which he says was NOT a great place, eventually dropped out due to mental health and then met bryan stars. a 20-21 year old man who convinced a 16 year old johnnie to move in with him (it should be noted that johnnie was originally from san jose, and moved halfway across the country to nebraska with bryan) once living with bryan the two made a collab channel together, but bryan decided that he would take on the "management" role and took a shit ton of johnnie's money, he would also give a very much underaged johnnie alcoholic drinks (johnnie has stated that the first time he ever blacked out was with bryan), bryan also heavily pressured johnnie and his first ever girlfriend, alex to kiss on camera for a video (though i don't believe they were dating at the time! which kinda makes it worse--). basically, bryan groomed him. johnnie has stated before that he always saw bryan as a brother, while he feels that bryan always saw johnnie as someone he could potentially date. which is...disgusting.

then, once leaving bryan's grasp he and his girlfriend (alex!) moved in together. they then due to her not being able to handle his mental health issues, they broke up and she took the dog he bought her.

it should be noted here that you should NEVER feel forced to stay with someone just because they are mentally ill!! however, johnnie has said before that "people who know the situation believe alex was in the wrong" which leads some fans to think that there is more to the story.

then he moved back in with his mom, falling into a deep depression and i believe suffering with alcoholism and a weed addiction, though i'm not sure about this. that's just what i've heard/gathered from his videos.

throughout all of this he posted videos about his struggles with s/h and things of that nature and has admitted to being put on 5150 holds in the past.

thats everything i can think of right now, and there's 100% way more shit that bryan did but! as of right now that's everything that's coming to mind/that i know of

[f1-birb]

It's not lost on me that those same people who constantly harp on Lando for some stupid comments he and his friends made on stream a few years ago, while wilfully ignoring everything he has said and done when it comes to supporting and respecting women especially in motorsport, are often fans of drivers who have said far more sexist things at some point in their careers than we have ever heard Lando say.

Also begging people who are chronically online to grow up and learn the difference between being a bit sexist occasionally (as every person on earth has been at some point) and being a misogynist/misandrist.

*insert my go to jose mourinho quote*

you're right though, some people, not all but some, seem to not know the difference between sexism (which all of us are guilty of at times, primarily when it comes to stereotyping) and genuine misogyny

sexism - prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex (the definition makes reference to this typically being against women but it obviously applies broadly)

misogyny - dislike of, hatred of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women

misandry being the same as misogyny but against men

can't say I've ever personally seen Lando demonstrate that second one

[musiconanironingboard]

4 April 2023: Galen. (The BarKo Group, Inc., Productions, no date, but reportedly 1975)

I know people whose record-collecting and music-listening leans heavily, if not exclusively, on bizarro private-press records and bargain-bin oddities. I've seen this result in reactionary opinions about how known music, and certainly anything well-known, is cause for embarrassment and should be avoided at all costs. It can also result in having to limit yourself to situations where you must pretend a mediocre artist is superior and only the "true heads" know it. I say like what you like, but if you're going to restrict yourself to a narrow parameter, realize you're doing niche business. I think the acquaintance of mine from whom I learned about today's record in question has a more enlightened approach than some of the more pedantic oddity seekers I've known, but it's unusual when my and his musical paths cross in regard to one of these arcane oddities, but here in my house sits a copy of the second solo album by a man called Galen, issued from the suburban-Chicago town of Des Plaines, Illinois, just down the road from me.

Among the many descriptions of Galen given by my acquaintance was "File under 'loner lounge prog' or 'ambitious real people quaalude croon' perhaps?" Later in his write-up he went on to say:

"This mysterious private press delivers the groovy goods with a slapping moody/funky/synth-addled version of a Jose Feliciano tune (which sounds like D Axelrod coulda produced it), and insane string/key/mellotron arrangements on an epic instrumental (bold!) “MacArthur Park” cover. Galen’s unique multi-tracked minor-key very “real” vocals really shine on “Day by Day” from Godspell, which features Shaft-like wah wah guitars, off the rails driving piano, and another massively deep and cough-syrupy arrangement. I can’t even describe Galen’s monumental take on JC Superstar, it’s got to be heard to believed. I will be investigating this glorious suburban Des Plaines signed-by-the-band mystery further, anyone know ANYTHING?

His description both amused and intrigued me, and something about the cover art and these details made me think of the mysterious musician named Lewis, who also did a couple of private-press albums forty-odd years ago; Lewis's got reissued on a major scale, even before anyone could find him and his royalties had to be put in escrow. I bought those Lewis albums and they are spooky and compelling. Galen seemed to me to be another Lewis, and soon after reading my friend's words I found a near-mint copy in shrinkwrap online and had it sent my way. I've still not heard it over seven months later, but it slowly makes its way to the top of my queue. In hindsight, I can't quite believe I so urgently purchased a Galen album; it's funny sometimes to look back at purchases and remember the passing fever that took hold of us in those moments. But I do look forward to hearing it. (And that label name! "BarKo" sounds so much like Frank Zappa's own Barfko-Swill merchandising company, making this all the more surreal.)

After buying the Galen album, I started doing a little digging of my own. Before long I found an album by a sort of hotel lounge band, another private press thing, and they were called The Galens. The thing that gave me pause is their logo is exactly like that of the solo Galen. Here it is (the picture is taken from online; I very nearly bought this, too, but even I realized that was a bridge too far):

I told the guy who'd hipped me to Galen about this weirdo Galens hotel nightclub LP, and it did not surprise me one bit when he decided to try to find Galen himself. Soon he sent me a screenshot of him messaging a guy, asking "Is this Norman of the Galens musical act?" I don't know that he ever got a response, but he and I both subsequently found more details. There's a whole webpage devoted to the Galens' history going all the way back to their beginnings in 1963; sadly, it doesn't carry on to discuss the solo career of Galen himself.

Galen did two other solo LPs that I can find evidence of. And my goodness; the eBay auction for the Galens nightclub LP that I found over seven months ago is still active and the seller allows you to make an offer. I need to move on from this quickly before I find myself with anymore records involving a Galen, solo or not. But first, here is side one's label of the Galen LP I did buy.

[sassyfrassboss]

They have the reality series but no way is that worth $100M to Netflix who is losing subscribers left and right.

According to UKRoyalTea on twitter, she was told by someone on Netflix that the show is underwhelming.

And I don't believe anything 'exclusive' from Pérez Hilton's mouth, but he also said that the trailer is boring AF.

I won't be surprised if their deal with Netflix is suspended after those shows (the 'reality' and 'Heart of Invictus'). If their show doesn't attract more suscribers, It's over. In my opinion, not even showing their children will help them, there will be blacklash about 'privacy' but then, showing the kids.

I also heard that the 'reality' is about them doing their 'humanitarian' work. So, expect all the PR stunts there, perhaps with Jose Andrés, UN, Global Citizen, etc.... And after the blacklash about Uvalde, I don't know if they really will put that mess on Netflix (I've been told by an 'unexpected' someone that she really went there with Netflix's cameras, and then, UKRoyalTea confirmed too).

That's why, they allegedly want to release the reality at the same time of his book, because allegedly the book is about how he suffered, how people wanted to turn off his light, but how at the end, he became a humanitarian hero with the help of his humanitarian wife, so by releasing the show at the same time, it's another PR strategy to help the book , and let people know that what he is saying there (about being a global leader) it's true. Of course i don't know if this is true or not, because there have been many times they have said that something was to show humanitarian activity and ended as another tantrum fest.

Pulled this off the web:

Here are five of the most famous humanitarians whose works changed the course of our history.

Mahatma Gandhi

Nelson Mandela

Mother Teresa

Oskar Schindler

Elizabeth Fry

So when you think about these people what comes to mind?

I think of sacrifice, courage, bravery, intelligence, compassion, strength, morals, etc.

How can Harry even try to compare himself to the above five people?

So if he thinks a few clips of him handing out food to poor people, or nailing a house together, or laying flowers at a massacre puts him on the same level as the above, he is even more bonkers than I thought.

No one wants to hear about the sufferings of one of the most privileged people in the world.

"Yeah so my mum died and my Pa refused to buy me the pony I really wanted."

"So I only got a $30M wedding when I asked for a $45M wedding."

Completely tone deaf.

[kayssweetdreams]

Maestro Hiccups 2 Nightmares Unleashed Part 14

The group walked over to a door that had a heart piece. "Hoo Hoo! I've never seen a heart like that before." Owl said. "Hey! It looks like a heart piece!" Haoyu yelled out. "It does! I guess this means it belongs to one of us..." Trisha Jane said. Suddenly, the stained glass at the top began changing rapidly. It had become a paper airplane, then a paintbrush, then a snowflake, and it kept rapidly changing

"Well...that's new." NiGHTS said, watching the changes of the stained glass door to Nightopia. Emma walked up to the door. "Either way, we still need to find those Berries." She said, lightly pushing against the door. A bright light bathed over the inhabitants as they entered the paradise called "Nightopia."

Inside awaited what looked to be a big mishmash of their stages combined into one gigantic endless realm. "Whoa...That explains the stained glass." Mei said, her hand grazing across a large glowing lotus flower. "But...where are the berries?" Leo asked. NiGHTS Gave them a smile. "Don't worry, I usually find the Berries with a little help."

The jester then let out a loud whistle that echoed across Nightopia. Almost instantly, small cone headed beings with small wings made themselves known to the inhabitants. "Awwwww!! Who are these little guys?" Sana cooed "These are the Nightopians, they all live in the various Nightopia that appear in the Night Dimension." Owl explained.

One of them began to fly off with Jose's straw hat while another one had settled into Iben's arms. "Hey there little guy! Do you know where we can find some Dream Berries?" The icy woman asked. The Nightopians nodded and started to pull Iben's hand, leading her and the others through the dream paradise.

Meanwhile, In the Realm of Nightmare...

Lance slowly felt himself come to, his feeling and vision slowly coming back to him. However, he also felt something was weighing him down, stopping him from moving from where he was. When his vision cleared up, to his horror, he found that he was inside of a cage, his arms and tentacles chained to the outside of it. The King of Negati struggled in his chains, trying in vain to remove his body from them.

"Well Well...look who finally decided to come to."

Lance froze in terror as he realized the cage was in front of a giant, imposing figure, who had 6 hands, all of which had eyes in them. Lance narrowed his eyes. "Hello Wizeman. What a delight. Any reason that you trapped me here in the night?" Lance asked, a sarcastic bit in his voice. Wizeman chuckled as two Nightmaren hooked a cuff to his neck.

"I see you still resist our side, and I see that you have the ability to bring a visitor's worst fears to life with your 'hiccups'."

Wizeman taunted. Lance haughtily looked away from Wizeman "You can't prove that, You don't have a say. And how do you know of my hiccups anyway?" He demanded, much to the annoyance of the Nightmaren. One of them wearing a large orange cape tugged at Lance's cuff chain. "SHOW SOME RESPECT!! Or It'll be time to play 'Chop up The Maestro'!" He threatened

"Silence Jackle!"

Wizeman commanded, causing the nightmare to shake slightly, it's eyes shrinking.

"And as for you Lance...the longer you're here. The longer that you'll have the hiccups. Which makes it easier for me to take the red Ideya, and take control of this, eyesore of a dimension, and the entire waking world..."

He said. Lance's eyes widened. He was right, the more people that were in fear, even for a little bit, their Ideya would get stripped away, asleep or not.

"So I suggest that you get comfortable...because you'll be asleep. For a very. Long. Time.

Wizeman threatened. The two Nightmaren chucked Lance back into the cage before he heard Wizeman adress the other Nightmaren.

"I want you to to and find every bush of Dream Berries that you can find. And I want you to destroy them all. No matter what."

The Nightmaren bowed in front of Wizeman "I shall do just that Master Wizeman." It said. The nightmare God gave a low grumble

"Very good...Don't Fail me...

Reala..."

Trisha Jane Belongs to @lovelyteng

Mei belongs to @sundove88

[citrus-cactus]

10 characters, 10 fandoms (obscure takes & slightly furry edition)

I was tagged by @tangledupblue and @reliablejoukido approximately forever ago! I’ve actually done this meme two times previously, but there are always more characters to talk about (that cannot be true forever, but we’ll say it’s true for now). So let’s get to it!

Also, I don't feel like tagging this one, but please feel free to do this if you want to! I always love to hear about peoples' favorite characters <3

1. Iago (Disney’s Aladdin)

I… I… I don't have any excuses, I just think he’s neat, ok?! There has always been something about the sarcastic talking animal sidekick trope that speaks to me, even though I can’t explain why. He’s just such a angry, self-centered, fun little guy, and he has a real character arc that runs through all of the 90s animated media! Love his role in the TV series, and I also love that he went off with Aladdin’s dad at the end of King of Thieves. For better or worse, he’s my favorite Disney character, period!

2. Bad Bird/Karamaru (Samurai Pizza Cats/Kyatto Ninden Teyandee)

SPC is a show from the mid-90s era of dubs, and it’s generally beloved for taking a rather loose approach to its translation of the original source material. Bad Bird is yet another bird-type henchman, a rival to the "star" character, a bit of a punching bag, and also not-really-all-that-evil. I uh… I guess I have a type? *shifty eyes*

3. Jose Carioca

Oh sh*t I lied, I do actually have ANOTHER favorite Disney character! Who is a bird!! I honestly don’t know why I have such an attachment to Jose. Three Caballeros was something I ONLY watched at my grandma’s house as a wee one, so I do have some very specific childhood memories of it, and little me always thought this charming parrot was the best part. I have never seen anything he featured in that didn’t originate in the 1940s (yeah, I slept on the DuckTales reunion because I don't have cable or Disney+), but I’ve heard he has (had?) his own long-running comic book series in Brazil. I’ve always wanted to see one of those!

I uh… I definitely have a type. Who knew?? ^^;

4. Ryouga Hibiki (Ranma 1/2)

Ok look. I came into Ranma 1/2 in a pretty weird way: looking it up obsessively on the late 90s Internet, falling in love with character descriptions, screenshots and promo art, and reading fanfiction before I was able to watch or read ANY significant portions of the source material. Ryouga was always kind of my favorite back then, and he still is now (even though I have only seen a few of the OVAs and read about half of the manga). He’s just. He’s such an idiot (affectionate). But he's a great rival, a dog person, has Feelings but is incredibly awkward, and generally means well.

5. Ben Wyatt (Parks and Rec)

Live action? GASP! Just… Ben Wyatt is a MOOD. The entire ensemble cast of P&R is amazing, but it’s incredible how much Adam Scott and Rob Lowe brought to the table. I am very normal about Ben, Cones of Dunshire, and the Letters to Cleo shirt (I am not).

6. Lily Aldrin (How I Met Your Mother)

While I will watch Alyson Hannigan act in pretty much anything, HIMYM is a total comfort show for me, and Lily is just *chef’s kiss.* Don’t really have much more to say than that!

7. Lum(?) (Urusei Yatsura)

UY has such a HUGE ensemble cast with tons of interdependencies, you practically can’t isolate one character without at least three others tagging along. You also can’t think too hard about them, because they are all idiots (affectionate) (there is definitely a distinction to make between characterization being good and characterization being deep). Lum is... not my favorite character (that might actually be the manga version of Mendo?), but she's such a dang icon, plus she’s the one I've tried to draw the most, so that… counts?? Much like Ranma 1/2, I also have to factor in all the years I spent wanting to experience UY. Amazingly enough, I've seen more of it than Ranma at this point!

Currently wishing I could watch the reboot too, because the manga characterization/version of events might actually be getting their day in the sun? :D

8. Bentley (Sly Cooper)

Oof. OOF. Why did I do this to myself. The Sly Cooper series is a 3D platforming series from the PS2 era of video games. Penelope from Sly 3 might be my favorite character conceptually (she brings something really fun to the table, and geek girls FTW!), but her being The Fave is hampered by the fact that she only appears in the one game (What's that? Sly 4? Sorry, don't know what you're talking about). Sly 2 is hands-down my favorite entry in the franchise, and while he’s really difficult to play as, Bentley’s development across the original trilogy is… ghhh. IT’S SO GOOD, as are his friendships with Sly and Murray. Bentley!!! (I still love you though Penelope, you got done so dirty).

9. Donatello (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

I don’t believe I’ve watched/played/read any TMNT property that is younger than a third-grader at this point. But Donnie’s the Smart One, and he is Purple. ‘Nuff said!!

OK so. Birds and smart turtles. We're learning more about what my types are all the time...

10. Daisuke Jigen (Lupin III)

I have not seen much Lupin III. But Jigen is cool <3

(I also like hats).

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Brandy

*Credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.

Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.

It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.

I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.

There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.

So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.

You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.

It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.

Something like a whiskey.

"My friend named Jack"

"He's got my back"

"He always seems to know right where I'm at"

Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.

I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.

I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.

When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.

"My friend Jose"

"He likes to play"

"He's always up for anything I say"

I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.

"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.

I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.

Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.

I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.

"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"

"Don't matter what it is"

"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"

Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.

"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"Are the only things that fix me"

"I'm not saying it's a problem"

"I can stop it if I wanna"

"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"They always get me"

Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?

"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.

Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.

It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam

"My friend named Gin"

"She's got some friends"

"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"

"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.

She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'

Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.

'Don't do what you're about to do'

"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.

>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.

Dots played at the bottom of my screen.

>Dean that's very nice.

Minutes pass, so I send another message.

>You know I think I'm falling.

Immediate answers came

>Falling?? What do you mean?

>Winchester? Where are you?

She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.

>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.

>Dean send me your current loca!

>We can talk more tomorrow

I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.

She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.

"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.

She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."

The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.

"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.

"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.

She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.

A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.

She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.

My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.

"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."

I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.

"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.

"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.

It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.

"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.

"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.

"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.

My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.

Completed on: 05/12/2021

Posted on: 05/14/2021

Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE MY UBER DRIVER

Marcus Alvarez x Reader

Anon asked: Hey, could you do an imagine with Alvarez where the reader is a very close friend of Chucky and once she brought peach pie to the club and he's there for a meeting with Bishop, and she ask him if he wants some and she's overall really kind with him and his boys that he's surprised to see someone so nice to them even if it's the first time they met?

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford ✨

Word Count: 2.5k

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Chuckie and you have been friends since four months ago, when you move from San Diego to Santo Padre. There was no reason to do it, you just feel tired of being you whole life living at your hometown, and you were looking for a change of scenery. You opened a bakery store in the center of the small city and he was your first customer. You thought he was a somewhat weird, until you met him a little more. Chuckie was kind and pretty gentle, so that made easy to turn you two from strangers into good friends. So, when he asked you to go to his birthday party, you didn't surprise. He also wanted to introduce you to his friends, even if you already met one called Happy, who was strangely kind when he tasted your pancakes. The biker with rough look told you they reminded him of what his mother used to prepare for him. At that point, you really stopped judging people by their looks.

Chuckie didn't ask you for a birthday cake, but you thought it would be a good gift cook his favourite one. Peach and cream. 

Parking at the entrance of the car scrapping, you hold the big cardboard box between your arms with a extreme care as if it was a bomb, following the rows made by scrap and the latin music sounding somewhere. You reach a crowded yard with a blue house in the middle of it and a lot of motorbikes around. You have already heard about the Mayans, but it's the first time you're there feeling somewhat small and lost.

“Yo! Man, who's that piece of art?” Angel says, among Coco and Gilly on the porch, watching you looking for Chukie.

“I don' know, let's see, hermano”. Gilly smirks at him, hitting his chest with a soft gesture.

“Can we help you, mami?” With a strong mexican accent, a skinny and tall man comes closer to you, pulling away the long strands of hair from the roots to the back of his head.

“Yeah… Ahm… Chukie?” You reply in a shy mood consuming you. “I'm (Y/N)”.

“He's insi—”.

“Hey, love!” A familiar voice interrupts him behind you.

“Happy! You're here too!” The man places an arm on your shoulders, taking the toothpick from his mouth to leave a kiss on your left cheek.

“Cake, uh?”

“Yeah. It's a present for Chukie”.

“You know her, brotha'?” Gilly asks then, a little bit curious.

“She has a bakery store here. Chuckie's friend, and also mine. Don' mess with her”. Happy's scratchy voice doing that warning makes you feel somewhat safe, even if they don't look as bad as you heard. “Come with me, love”.

Raising your chin like a farewell, for the moment, you let the man guides your steps inside the clubhouse where the music is a little low than outside. The men there are older than the other, sharing beers and laughs surrounded by a lot of girls. Girls that, by the way they have to caress and treat every one, you know what they are. But you don't even care.

“(Y/N)! You came!” Chuckie's excited voice claim for your attention, walking somewhat faster towards him when Happy lets you go, leaving the cake on the wooden bar so you can hug him tightly.

“Happy birthday!” You say before giving him a kiss, pointing after that the cake.

“Smells like peach! I accept that!” He looks like a five years old super excited, holding your hand to accompany you to a large room with a huge table in the middle of.

The men inside looks at you with curiosity, getting up from their chairs.

“That's my good friend, (Y/N)”.

“Nice to meet you, kid. I'm Tranq”. A big and tall one comes closer, narrowing your hand as you show him your best and dearly smile.

“Che Romero to serve you, but you can call me ‘Taza’”. Another man, the oldest one but with a kind smirk on his face does the same gesture.

“Bishop Losa, querida. A pleasure to meet you finally. Chukie talks a lot about you”. El Presidente hold your right hand gentle, leaving a paternal caress on the back of it.

“Yeah, they talk about you all too. I'm sorry it took me so long to finally come”. 

“We know about your bakery store, and that box you brought… smells pretty good from here, sweetheart”. Tranq says supporting his forearms on the top of a chair, making you chuckle.

“Is it yours?” An unknown man, with mexican accent and a light whistle pronouncing every ‘s’, appears at your back.

“Yes, sir”. You nod turning above your sneakers, feeling a soft jump shaking your heart when you focus your gaze on him.

“Marcus Álvarez”. He raises a hand on air, taking you some seconds to react, narrowing it when you start to feel stupid.

“(Y/N). Nice to meet you”. You just say.

“C'mon! I want to introduce you to my north Cali friends!” Chuckie sound so excited that makes you laugh, saying goodbye with a hand to the men smiling at you somewhat warm. 

You can't help but being so obliging with everything. Helping the prospect to take more beer from the warehouse, helping with the barbecue and the music. You just want to contribute at Chuckie's party because he's your friend and you want to make him feel the most special man on earth, at a day like this. You're having a lot of fun going from a side to the other, sneaking with other Mayans, mostly with Angel who looks so interested in dancing with you, in the way to help someone else. They're like a big family around California and some nearby states. And you felt like part of it since you put a foot there.

“Hey, kid, have a rest!”

Tranq has a hand raised, making a gesture to come closer. Leaving the box of Jose Cuervo over the bar, you nod walking towards the men you met at the main room a couple hours ago. Taza makes you some space by his side at the sofa, falling down there actually feeling somewhat tired. Bishop opens a beer for you, offering it before sitting in front of the sofa.

“Are you having fun?” He asks.

“Yes! I've never been in a… party like that. I like it. Reminds me to my family”.

“All drunk and a little high?” Tranq laughs, exactly like you do.

“Yeah, more or less. I'm from San Diego, but my family are from Guadalajara”.

“So you're used to this kind of celebration, but without the bikers part”. Taza jokes a little, making you nod again.

“What about Chuckie and you? Just friends?” Seems like Bishop wanted to ask that a while ago.

“Just friends. He was my first customer. He's cool and smart. And knows a lot of things. But, just friends”. You say then, understanding that they want to endorse their friend.

“Chuckie is a good man. Somewhat weird. But he's loyal”. Tranq ads then, drinking from his beer with pursed lips.

“I assume you're single”. Bishop says leaning forwards somewhat above the table. 

You laugh a little bit nervous and ashamed, covering your mouth slightly with a hand.

“I'm just asking to protect your ass from my dogs”. He assure infecting his laughter to the others, knowing well that he's referring to the first men you met before finding Happy. But you also know there's something else hiding behind that question.

You're not stupid. You have seen sideways Marcus looking at you at four times. And even if you didn't asked him about his gazes, looks like he wants to talk with you and doesn't know how to do it without scare you. Guns, long rides, a lot of risks… Sounds like it's not easy to live with. And, because of their behavior, family is the most important thing for them. Put something like that into a danger it's not an option. But even if it's just your thoughts not being sure if he's interested, you could try. You hear him talking with other women there in a gentle way, taking care about them as only a good man, and also a good father, could do. The work he does, doesn't determine how he is. And you like it. You like him since you heard his voice, feeling that good energy around as soon as he was close to you.

The night passed by, between more beers, tequila shots and pieces of the cake you made. It's been a long time since you had some fun. Everyone is delighted with it and you're more happy than other days because of the alcohol. And because of that, you decide to take a first step, knowing that you probably are going to regret it. So getting up, and pretending you're okay, your steps follow Marcus direction to the room they called Templo. 

“Hey!” You say, sounding more excited than you should. “Did you taste the cake?”

The mexican turns at you, surprised at first because he didn't expect you. Smiling at you, he just simply nods wearing the black leather kutte after clean it with a wet rag, looking shiny than a while ago.

“Good!” You reply feeling truly stupid, not knowing what you can say to continue the talk. But he's staring at you like if he was waiting for something else. Like you leaving, for example. “Well, I just… I'm goin' home and I was asking myself if you liked it, 'cause you don' look seem very talkative”.

“It was a long day”. He says walking closer to your position. “You're not going to drive, aren't you?”

“No, ahm… Chuckie told me I could leave my car here, so I'm gonna call an Uber”. You shake your head, making a gesture with your left hand to take away its importance. 

“Where do you live, ah?”

“Second avenue, next to the post office. It's ten minutes walking, but Angel make me dance too much”.

That's the point. That's the hook ready to fish, and you don't know how the hell you have thrown it in such an amazing move. Marcus doesn't say anything about it, erasing the relaxed gesture from his face.

“It was a pleasure…” Focusing on the vest, you read one of the patches. “Padrino. I hope you enjoy the party”.

He nods in silence before seeing you turn over your steps to walk outside of the room. You say goodbye faster than you would like, promising that you will come back soon, looking for Chukie after that. He's with Happy next to the Mayans bikes sharing some drinks and old memories.

“Hey, guys!” With both hands into the pockets of the jacket, you smile at them. 

“Are you leaving, love?” The taller one asks, giving you back two kisses.

“Yeah, I'm kinda tired and I should work tomorrow”. You say before hugging Chukie tightly. “Thanks for inviting me, it was pretty fun”.

“I'll visit you tomorrow anyway!” He says blissful as always.

“Cool! Good night, guys”.

“Rest, love”.

At least you can walk straight through the hallway of the scrapping, right to the street. Rubbing your face with both hands, you feel like an idiot about the idea of Marcus having some interest, hoping he thinks you drunk too much. By the way, the fresh and cold air of the dawn helps you a little, crossing your arms before reach your car. You look at it, ready to drive it, but doesn't look like a good idea. So you finally leave it there, continuing with slow steps to the outside of the place, until the roar of an engine calls your attention. Turning aside, you find him stopping at your position.

“C'mon, I will take you home”. The mexican is giving you a black helmet, turning off the bike.

“Oh, no, no. Don't worry”. You say with pursed lips, feeling the shame running through your body, pretending you're waiting for the Uber car with your phone in a hand.

“C'mon, chamaca”. He insists moving his arm again, knowing that he'll not take ‘no’ for an answer.

Biting your lower lip, you nod holding it to sit behind him. Wrapping his waist with both arms, you try to relax yourself on your way back home, noticing that he's driving slower than normal. But you're not going to complain about it, resting your chest on his back getting somewhat comfy until he reaches your avenue. Then, the nerves return again when you have to point the building where you live at. Marcus parks there, letting you get up first.

“Thank you”. You just say pretending that everything is okay, while you return him the helmet. 

“The cake was delicious”. 

Raising your gaze from the keys you were looking for, your eyes go straight to the darkest. Now, he is who wants to talk, although he doesn't sound insecure as you did. You smile like an idiot, playing with the key chain and the nose bridge slightly wrinkled.

“I don't know if you are into the date game, bu—”.

“Yeah, tell Angel I would like it”. You're teasing him for making you wait and making you feel stupid for some minutes. And by the way his steps towards you stop dead and the look on his, you know it worked.

“I will”. He just replies back, tightening the gloves around his wrists.

“Really?”

“Sure, chamaca”.

You laugh somewhat funny, taking another step closer.

“You should see the look on your face”.

“I don't know what are you talking about”. He gives you his back somewhat prideful, keeping the helmet you used into a bag hanging by a side of the motorbike.

“You were looking at me”. You finally say licking your lips, after clicking your tongue slightly.

“Looked like you were part of the fam'”. He answers automatically, sitting on the bike with both hands catching the handlebar.

“Was it bad?”

“No. I actually liked seeing you taking care of my boys, when no one asked you to do it”. Even if that sounded a little passive-aggressive at the end, doesn't stop you to come closer enough to face him.

“I would really like to have a date with you, if that it… was you were to ask”.

“What if it wasn't?” Now, Marcus is playing your same game, at least, you hope it.

“Me sentiré aún más pendeja”. (I'll feel more stupid). You chuckle rubbing your nose in a nervous gesture.

The man laughs because of your words, shaking his head for a while. Then, he nods.

“I want it. Maybe I asked mi primo if he could find out what was going on between you and Chuckie”.

“Just ‘maybe’?”

“I'll pick you up tomorrow night. At seven?”

You lean towards him, leaving a soft kiss on his right cheek as a way to accept it.

[kuramirocket]

Sandwiched between private properties in Southeast Austin sits a little-known cemetery off Hoeke Lane, just west of U.S. 183. From the outside, there’s nothing that indicates the site is the final resting place for a number of Mexican and Mexican-American residents who died decades ago.

It’s a wilderness. The headstones, many of which date back to the 1940s, are easy to miss. The weeds are overgrown, and trees and shrubs cover much of the 4.5-acre plot.

The cemetery has been called a couple different names over the years — the Montopolis Cemetery and San José II. But no sign will tell you that. In fact, there’s scarce information available about the cemetery’s history at all.

But members of the community and a team of researchers are trying to change that. They want to trace back its history and ensure the cemetery, along with its sister site in nearby Montopolis, is preserved.

Diana Hernandez is the lead researcher for (Re)claiming Memories, a research group out of UT Austin that seeks to restore and preserve missing histories in communities of color. She and her team have been collecting death certificates and reaching out to descendants of those buried at the cemeteries to help piece together the history.

“Once we start to research the people that are buried here and start to find archival documentation for each person, we start to see the community come to life through the cemetery,” she said.

The History

To understand San José II, Hernandez says, we have to start about 2 miles north at San José I. This historic Mexican and Mexican-American cemetery was built around 1919. It sits between two churches off Montopolis Drive, though neither of them own it. The site is believed to be unclaimed, or orphaned, meaning no one is responsible for its upkeep in any official capacity. But neighbors and community members have taken care of it as best they can over the years, mowing the lawn, pulling weeds and cleaning off gravestones.

A metal archway stands at the entrance and reads “San Jose Cementerio.” The cemetery was founded by a mutual aid society called the Union Fraternal Mexicana, and it served the migrant sharecropping community. This was during segregation.

“Mexicans weren’t necessarily allowed to be buried in white cemeteries,” Hernandez said. “In some cases I've seen where there's a white cemetery, and then right next to it is the Mexican section … In this case, it was just a completely different cemetery."

When Cementerio San José started to get full, the second one was created in 1949 in Del Valle. Over the years, the cemeteries changed hands. The original San José hasn’t had a known owner for several decades. San José II has an owner, but she’s believed to be in poor health and unable to maintain it, according to Hernandez. KUT reached out to the owner for this story, but did not hear back.

Based on their research so far, Hernandez and her team estimate San José I and II have more than 350 burials combined. But understanding how many burials are at each individual site is a challenge. That’s partly because on death certificates, the name Montopolis Cemetery was often used interchangeably for San José I and II. And not every burial has a gravestone.

Many people buried at the cemeteries died during concurrent epidemics, like influenza, tuberculosis and pneumonia.

“They were getting so many bodies that they were burying people in layers on top of each other, and they stopped documenting who all was getting buried,” she said. “Because there's no documentation for the number of layers for the people that were being buried in these mass graves, we're just never going to know. There's going to be layers of people that we're never going to be able to identify.”

Hernandez began researching the San José cemeteries at the end of 2019, just before the area was hit with another outbreak of a deadly disease — COVID-19. And again, this predominantly Latino neighborhood was hit harder than others.

“These histories repeat themselves,” Hernandez said. “I think that’s one of the reasons why this work is important, because it kind of sheds light on these pasts that weren’t acknowledged the way they should have been. We can use this knowledge to improve our present.”

The Descendants

Frank Monreal remembers the days when Montopolis Drive was just a dirt road. He and the other neighborhood kids, some 50 years ago, would play on the giant oak tree that stands in the middle of Cementerio San José. Instead of bicycles, he and his friends had horses.

“Everybody rode horses back then,” he said one day while at San José I. “We used to come out here, and they were our lawn mowers. They let them eat the grass and keep the grass low here.”

Monreal has relatives buried at San José I and II. From an early age, he understood death was a natural part of life. He often helped out with funerals. He remembers one burial happening at Cementerio San José when he was a kid. But it’s been a long time since anyone was buried there, he says. Most gravesites appear to date back to the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s.

There were more gravestones back then, he says, but some have weathered or broken over time. He used to walk through the cemetery on his way to school. He’d often see people putting flowers on graves, something he doesn’t see much anymore. Now, many relatives have died or left.

“That’s inevitable, you know, because generations change,” he said. “People move away.”

Preserving the cemetery, though, is important, he says, especially as gentrification has altered the landscape of Montopolis over the years.

“[The cemetery] is sacred ground to us, from our ancestors,” he said. “I don’t want to see it gone.”

Micaela Johnson, a 19-year-old artist and activist, can trace part of her family tree back to the Cementerio San José. She’s a member of the Limón family, one of Austin’s founding families whose descendants now number upwards of 3,500.

Many of her family members grew up and had businesses in Montopolis, like the Limón Bakery. She said her grandparents probably have connections to at least a quarter of the people buried at San José.

In her family, passing down stories from generation to generation is a common tradition. She remembers hearing stories about Aurora, her grandfather’s sister, who died in 1940 of pneumonia when she was 11 months old. She was buried at Cementerio San José, and her gravestone was decorated with marbles. But Johnson hasn’t been able to locate it.

She also remembers stories of Concepcion Trevino Garcia, her great-great-grandmother who died in 1939 from tuberculosis and was buried at San José. She left behind her husband and five young daughters.

“She was one of the strongest women that I have ever heard my family talk about,” Johnson said. “She was very driven and very loving.”

Garcia's grandchildren still visit the cemetery on Mother’s Day and leave flowers, Johnson said. Her family’s connection to the cemetery has inspired Johnson to get involved with (Re)claiming Memories and help ensure the San José cemeteries are well kept.

“It’s not just a place where people are buried,” she said. “It’s the life and the heart of a lot of our ancestry.”

One of the more recent headstones at Cementerio San José belongs to Augustina Rosales, who was at one time believed to be Austin’s oldest living resident. She died in 1994 at age 116. Near the back of the cemetery, she’s buried next to her husband Marcos, who died in 1951.

Rosales had 13 children and raised several others who were relatives or orphaned as if they were her own. She liked to dance to conjunto music and cook for her family, according to an Austin American-Statesman article about her death. Rosa Moncada, Rosales's great-granddaughter, says “she was awesome.”

Maintaining The Cemeteries

Moncada has several other relatives buried at San José, including grandparents and two older sisters who were born premature and died. Growing up in East Austin, Moncada would go with her mother and siblings to visit the cemetery. But they went less frequently over time, in part because the grass was often so high they couldn’t easily walk through it.

When they heard about the work Hernandez and her team are doing to help maintain the cemetery, Moncada and her sister Juanita Moncada Bayer started visiting again. And now they’re trying to keep it maintained, bringing relatives together to mow the lawn and clear out dead tree branches.

But maintaining the cemetery consistently isn’t an easy task. San José I is 2.5 acres.

“We thought, well, let's do what we can,” Bayer said. “But unfortunately, our mind tells us we can do it. But our bodies — like, that's hard work.”

(Re)claiming Memories and members of the community hosted a cleanup for San José earlier this year and hope to host more. They have been reaching out to city and county leaders, asking them to allocate more resources to the cemeteries' maintenance.

The more challenging endeavor will be cleaning up San José II. The site is difficult to access, making it hard for people to visit and maintain it.

Monreal remembers going to San José II as a kid to visit his grandfather’s grave with his dad. Back then, San José II had a proper entrance and was easier to get to.

Now, a locked chain-link fence blocks the main path that leads to the cemetery. Several sources told KUT the fence was put up by the property owner next door, perhaps to keep people from trespassing. KUT reached out to the law office that owns the property and was told it didn’t have anything to do with the gate. Hernandez and the research group are trying to get to the bottom of the issue and hope to create a proper entrance, so descendants can visit.

The area has long had problems with people dumping trash and gravel. A mound of dirt and debris now presses against fencing on one side of the cemetery.

And warehouses are being built on the southeastern side. This worries Hernandez because the cemetery hasn’t been surveyed; some burials could be outside the perimeter and could be disturbed. Community members have expressed concern that debris from construction is impacting the cemetery.

When KUT reached out to the construction manager for the company that’s developing the site, he was surprised to learn there was a cemetery next door. (“That is a jungle,” Brent Ramirez said.)

The cemetery itself is zoned for warehouse and limited office use, which some are concerned could make it vulnerable to development. (Re)claiming Memories is working with Council Member Vanessa Fuentes to get the proper zoning for it and a historical designation. Fuentes toured the cemetery earlier this year.

“It’s sad to see because it looks as if it’s been neglected and dismissed, especially with the development that’s right next to it,” she said. “Those are families and families’ history and legacies and relatives that are buried there. Those are stories that need to be told.”

Currently, pink marking flags stick up in various spots within the shrubbery of San José II. That’s the work of Joaquin Rodriguez, an Austin resident who has been going out to the cemetery to remove litter and clean off and mark gravestones that have been covered up over time.

He first learned about the cemetery late last year while researching his ancestry. Rodriguez, who was adopted, had taken a DNA test and learned he had relatives buried at cemeteries throughout Austin, including San José I and II. After seeing how neglected San José II was, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

The (Re)claiming Memories team wants to eventually create a digital map or database where people can upload information about the people buried at the cemeteries. Hernandez hopes this crowdsourced online resource will help bring the stories of the deceased together and shed light on the history of the Mexican and Mexican-American community in Montopolis.

The team is also putting together an exhibit on the cemeteries for the Mexic-Arte Museum in September. Johnson plans to perform a poem called “We Are Lost History” and sell shirts she designed, the proceeds from which will support the cemeteries' upkeep.

Johnson said she recognizes that Austinites who are not directly connected to the cemeteries may not see a reason to care about them, but she thinks they should.

“They might just see it as another gravesite or another old ancient Mexican burial ground, and they might [think] it doesn’t matter because it’s not a part of them,” Johnson said. “But it is a part of them. It’s a part of the history of Austin.”

And as development continues to alter the look and population of the Montopolis neighborhood, she says, it’s urgent to keep conversations about the cemeteries going.

“If we’re not actively trying to be like, ‘Hey, this matters,’” she said, “it’ll get washed away.”

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends —Part 12

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

"You know friends with benefits never work, don't you?" Amanda told Sofia as she rolled her eyes and sigh.

"I don't wanna be his girlfriend," Sofia shrugged, setting her phone in silence as the Twitter and Instagram notifications kept coming. Apparently, people found out who she was and they were blowing up her phone. Obviously, she didn't acknowledge it.

"Says no woman ever,"

"I know, but—look," Sofia sighed again and sat straighter on the couch facing her friend, she looked around because they were in Amanda's parent's house about to lunch. "He's the first queer, nonwhite, Latina, immigrant woman he ever wanted to date, I mean look at all of his exes."

"Okay, he's definitely into brunettes and white,"

"Yes, there's a part of me that's thinking that maybe he's…" Sofia tried to think of a subtle way to say it. "experimenting, and there's going to be nowhere and that left me high and dry when he realized that he's not that into me that much."

"Have you asked him?"

"No," She answered and Mandy just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "He's going to say that's not true."

"Because it's not. Why does it seems like I know him more than you do, he never said anything remotely like that." She now rolled her eyes at her. "This is you sabotaging yourself, as usual."

"No, it's me trying to protect myself. I don't wanna fall in love with him and shit,"

"Again, talk with him. I'm sure he'll compromise with you at some level,"

"He's away all the time and I hate flying, I hate LA,"

"Oh my God,"

"I'm going to get all weird seeing him kissing other people," Sofia explained. "and he's going to think I'm an insecure, immature little girl that can't handle that." Sofia pouts and crosses her arms.

"Sofia," Her friend scoot closer on the couch and looked at her. "I heard you, about everything and I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel about it, but you need to communicate if you what this to work out for you."

"I'm scared Mandy, because I really like him," Her eyes got all glossy. "I know he's a good man but I'm scared shitless. I can't physically take another loss. You know how hard it was for me to leave my ex, just because of that and it got so fucking ugly on the end."

"I know, I was there," She said and her bottom lip tremble. " crying with you non stop for two years, I know but you know she's a piece of shit and took advantage of you because you were in a very vulnerable position."

"Yeah, I know," Sofia wipe her tears with the back of her hand and sighed, "Stop crying, you're making me cry,"

"I just want you to be happy, you're my best friend I love you so much," Amanda was full-blown sobbing hysterically as Sofia was holding her and chucking. "Capitan America wants to be your boyfriend stupid bitch," She kept sobbing and Sofia laughed.

"I know, I'm just emotional and I'm about to get my period, hormones."

"Your period?" Amanda asked separating and looked at her, pensively. "wait, what date is today?"

"It's the fourteen,"

"Oh,"

Sofia sat down straighter and give her a look. "Are you late?"

"Yeah," Amanda said looking down at her stomach. "Like, three weeks late."

Sofia looked at her belly and mutter. "Jesus, Maria y Jose."

"Holy shit." Amanda blinked a few times and they stare at each other for a full minute.

"Your dad it's going to fucking kill Luke."

~~~~

It's been around a week and a handful of days since the last time Sofia saw Chris, he was already in town since last night but he slept on his mom's house.

Also, Amanda was fucking pregnant.

You up?

She texted Chris at two am. Of course, he wasn't because he was an old man.

I gotta tell u something.

It's important and I need to tell someone I'm really bad at secrets, I just can't.

But you can't tell

I'll literally kill u,

And I'm getting away with it because I know too much about murder men, it's insane.

I'm up, I'm up. I'm watching a movie with Scott, he says hi and also wants to meet u and plot murder.

Also, what's the juicy secret?

Amanda is pregnant and your brother is way handsome than you.

Chris was calling almost immediately.

"Excuse me?"

"Amanda is having a baby,"

"No, about Scott being handsome than me," He asked and Sofia let out the loudest laugh, God she needed that.

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," She laughed. "I miss your face."

" I miss you, too." He laughed.

"Is Scott there?, we follow each other on Twitter and made fun of you."

"You two what," He asked and she could hear Scott laughing on the background. "You made fun of me with my girl?"

"Yeah, I slide in her DMS." Scott laughed and Chris was red as a tomato.

"Dude," He said and Sofia heard a lot of ow's and she laughed. "And about the other things, what the fuck?"

"Yes, I'm freaking out. Mandy's at Luke's house now but I don't know, she didn't text me. I can't sleep," She groaned and Chris stood quiet for a moment.

"Want me to come over?"

"Please?"

~~~

"Oh, hi," Sofia exclaimed as soon she opened the door, Chris grabbed her face and plant a quick kiss.

"Hi," He smiles, still cupping her face. "Hello," Chris kissed her again making her laugh.

"You dork," She said as she took his hand and took it to the kitchen, "Want something? I'm about to stress bake."

Chris laughed while he sat on the high chairs. "Mandy didn't text u?"

"No, dude. I'm freaking out, I know Luke it's the sweetest," She said giving her back to Chris as she measures some flour.

"He's going to be over the moon, I'm not supposed to tell you this but he's been thinking about proposing,".

Sofía was taken aback for a moment there but a huge smile, she turned around and look at him.

"Are our best friends getting married and having a kid?"

Chris laughed and nod, "Yeah, guess so?"

"Yeah," She smiles. "So weird," She turned around and Chris walked up to her, leaning on the counter beside her.

"Why?"

"Don't know, I'm happy don't get me wrong, I just. It's weird for me because it's," She stumbles over her words a little. "it's the first time I'm seeing this going right for someone I deeply care about."

Chris made a face and she laughed.

"I have really shitty examples on my life," She went again to her baking. "My mom and dad fought a lot, they had to get married because they were having my brother—

"Wait, you have a brother?," He asked, surprised. "You never mentioned him."

"We don't really speak, well I don't speak to him,"

"Why?"

Sofía pursed her lips together and give Chris a look, she didn't want him to think less of him or him judging her about what went down.

"Can we skip that part?"

Chris quickly nod, "Yeah, of course," He said putting a hand on her shoulder. "whenever you're ready,"

"Okay," She nod too and remained silent. "it's just, I'm sorry." Sofia took a deep breath and wipe a tear. "I've never had a normal family dynamics until I've meet Mandy's family and a still feel so out of place sometimes, it's weird—" She chuckles. "I'm weird."

"It's not weird, you're not weird. I've gathered that you went through some shit that no kid should go through," Chris said and Sofia stopped moving and looked at the bowl in front of her. "things that obviously hurt you still."

"Stop." She told him trying not to cry and took another deep breath trying to pass the lump on her throat but her lower lip was trembling.

"Hey, hey," Chris grabbed her and hugged her, but she pushed him away and went back to the counter.

"You like muffins?" She asked in a small voice and Chris just stare at her, he just shut him out on whatever it's going up with her. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yes. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She nod.

Sofía was feeling like an idiot, she didn't want to be crying on his arm about her shitty life, to someone that obviously couldn't relate because he also had the perfect family, the perfect brothers. His fucking life was perfect. She didn't want him to see her like a wounded little girl.

"Sofia?"

"Just drop it, forget about it." She said going to the fridge and grabbed some milk.

"What? come on baby, you know you can talk about me about anything," Chris told her and she just chuckles. "Is this funny to you?"

"I can't talk to you about everything, there's a lot of things we can't relate to Chris." She quickly answered him.

"I know that, but I can listen. You can open up with me for fuck's sake," Chris said frustrated and Sofia sigh. "You're always shutting me out when we even slightly touch a subject you don't like, I've known you for like almost two years and I right now found out you have a brother. You know everything about me, you know my fucking whole family,"

"Yeah, and now you're now throwing it back at my face."

"I'm not throwing it back at your face, you can tell me anything, Sofia." He said and she shook her head.

"Why do you wanna know so bad? I'm just some girl you're fucking." She asked him and Chris was taken aback.

"You're not—is that what you think of me?, that I'm so guy you're fucking?"

"Are you not?" She asked nonchalantly and Chris lost his shit.

"Woow, that's how it is?, like I'm nothing to you." He said taking a step back.

"Why the fuck are you pushing this so much? what are you gonna do? I don't want your fucking pity and I don't fucking need you either." She was spitting venom at him, feeling attacked at everything he was doing.

"You're being a fucking asshole right now," He told her and Sofia rolled her eyes. "I just wanna know my fucking girlfriend."

"I'm most definitely not your girlfriend, I won't ever be your girlfriend" She answered and Chris just stared at her, feeling hurt.

"You know what, fuck you," he muttered angrily and turned around, nervous.

"There we go, pretty Chris don't get what he wants and he lashes out," She mumbled and pointed at him. "And now you leave,"

Chris rubbed his beard and grabbed his phone. "When you want talk this shit out, let me know. I'll be staying two more days and then I'm back in LA, you know I'm leaving for three months. Because I tell you all the shit I do," He pointed out again and Sofia just shrugged.

"Whatever, you know where the door is." She didn't even look at him, Chris was fuming. Sofía flinch when she heard the door shut.

~~~

Well, shit.

Tag list:

@smediumsmeatbae

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[ann-bailey142]

Rise Violence towards Asian Americans

Yesterday I read an article written about the Rising hate crimes to the Asian American community written by Cady Lang from Times Magazine. With everything happening to the Asian community this article really helped break down important statistics and fact checked many stereotypes people have about Asian Americans. It was January 28 when Vicha Ratanapakdee was out on his early morning walk. All of a sudden someone comes up to him and pushes him to the ground. That person pushed him so hard that Ratanapakdee was hospitalized and eventually died two days later. Elderly Asian people all over major cities are experiencing racism and violent hate crimes. Why might you ask? Covid. Because of our last administration using language like “China Virus” people all over America have blamed any and all Asians for the pandemic. This article introduced me to Amanda Nguyen, an asian American activist who has been very vocal in the past months about hate crimes towards the asian American community. Nguyen has been using social media to help get the word about these attacks. She used Ratanapakdees unfortunate death as inspiration to talk about other attacks that weren’t as known. In a video she posted she spoke about “the assault of a 64-year-old Vietnamese grandmother who was assaulted and robbed in San Jose, California, and the attack of a 61-year-old filipino man whose face was slashed with a box cutter on the New York subway”(Lang). These attacks have been on the rise since January but were also very prominent in the beginning of the pandemic. According to Lang, hate crimes have “jumped 1,900% in New York in 2020”. Because of the pandemic they have created a new database catered to Asian and Pacific Islanders in America called Stop AAPI Hate. The database has gotten 2,808 reports of racist incidents between March and December, but even with the new administration and the new year the violence is continuing into 2021. Because Asian people were put to blame for the pandemic asian violence has continued but it is nothing new. Asians have been projected as “perpetual foreigners” for a long time.

Something I thought was interesting and stood out most to me from this article was the explanation of how the myth of calling Asians the “model minority” has been harmful. According to Lang because of this stereotype Asians are seen as privileged and that we dont face any racism or discrimination. The model minority myth was created “during the civil rights era to stymie racial movements, suggests that Asian Americans are more successful than other ethnic minorities because of hard work, education and inherently law-abiding natures”(Lang). This myth is so harmful as it erases Asian american experiences in America and invalidates our feelings. Something new that I learned from this article was that Asians Americans experience the largest inequality gaps as an ethnic group in the U.S. and asian immigrants have the highest poverty rates in New York City. Because not much has been done to help victims of these attacks many asian celebrities have taken action and used the posters of social media to spread the word.

As an asian American this is all a lot to process. I've felt anger, frustration and sadness before but never like this. These are my people. Most of all it worries me. I have two elderly Asian grandparents that live alone. I have always trusted their abilities to take care of themselves, but in the back of my mind I worry someone might rob them on the way to the grocery store. But in relation to the Model minority myth I completely agree with this article. I hate that stereotype. Ive been warned all my life about the model minority myth and not only does it invalidate our experiences I think it creates more racism. I also think it creates a divide between Asians and other minority groups when what we need to do is stick together. This article also made me think about Asians who have been attacked in the past but their names will never be heard. One name that comes to mind is Vincent Chin. Vincent Chin was an Chinese American man that was beaten to death by two white men in 1982. They were laid off auto workers and during this time many people blamed Japanese for the decline in automotive jobs. These two men beat Vincent because they thought he and other Asians were to blame for them losing their jobs and because of that he needed to lose his life. At the end of all this neither one of the attackers faced jail time. So yes, us Asians do face discrimination its just never talked about because we are supposed to be submissive and obedient. If you want to get involved in how to stand beside asian Americans, read about people like Vincent Chin, Vicha Ratanadpadkee and many more and say their names.

This picture is a picture if a Vincent Chin, the Chinese American beat to death in 1982.

This is Vicha Ratanapakdee, the 84 year old Thai man recently attacked.

This is a link to the article I read: https://time.com/5938482/asian-american-attacks/?amp=true

[xtruss]

Trump has blamed “ANTIFA” for violent clashes with police during George Floyd protests, but records show that he's likely wrong

President Donald Trump said antifa is responsible for the violence that has ensued at protests sparked by the killing of George Floyd.

Hundreds of demonstrators march toward Lafayette Park and the White House to protest against police brutality and the death of George Floyd, on June 2, 2020 in Washington, DC. Drew Angerer/Getty Images

President Donald Trump characterized those clashing with law enforcement as radical-left thugs engaging in domestic terrorism — and Attorney General William Barr backed him.

But per a new report from The Associated Press, there is little evidence to back that claim.

The Associated Press analyzed several sources of information, including court records, employment histories, social media posts for 217 people arrested last weekend in Minneapolis and Washington, DC.

Most protesters that were arrested are local residents and are not affiliated with antifa, a loosely organized left-wing group of anti-fascism activists, according to the report.

Scott Nichols, a balloon artist, was riding home on his scooter from the protests engulfing Minneapolis last weekend when he was struck by a rubber bullet fired from a cluster of police officers in riot gear.

"I just pulled over and put my hands up, because I didn't want to get killed," said Nichols, 40. "Anybody that knows me knows I wasn't out there to cause problems."

Nichols, who before the coronavirus pandemic made his living performing at children's birthday parties under the stage name "Amazing Scott," spent two days in jail before being released on criminal charges of riot and curfew violation.

President Donald Trump has characterized those clashing with law enforcement after George Floyd's death under the knee of a Minneapolis police officer as organized, radical-left thugs engaging in domestic terrorism, an assertion repeated by Attorney General William Barr. Some Democrats, including Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, initially tried to blame out-of-state far-right infiltrators for the unrest before walking back those statements.

There is scant evidence either is true.

Protesters arrested have been primarily local residents

The Associated Press analyzed court records, employment histories, social media posts, and other sources of information for 217 people arrested last weekend in Minneapolis and the District of Columbia, two cities at the epicenter of the protests across the United States.

Rather than outside agitators, more than 85% of those arrested by police were local residents. Of those charged with such offenses as curfew violations, rioting and failure to obey law enforcement, only a handful appeared to have any affiliation with organized groups.

Those charged with more serious offenses related to looting and property destruction – such as arson, burglary and theft – often had past criminal records. But they, too, were overwhelmingly local residents taking advantage of the chaos.

Protesters arrested have not been primarily left-leaning activists

Social media posts indicate only a few of those arrested are left-leaning activists, including a self-described anarchist. But others had indications of being on the political right, including some Trump supporters.

The president has tried to portray the protesters and looters with a broad brush as "radical-left, bad people," ominously invoking the name "antifa," an umbrella term for leftist militants bound more by belief than organizational structure. Trump tweeted last Sunday that he planned to designate antifa as a terrorist organization.

"These are acts of domestic terror," Trump said in a Rose Garden speech Monday, moments after heavily armed troops and riot police advanced without warning on the largely peaceful protesters across the street from the White House.

Barr, put in charge of organizing the police and military response, activated the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force last weekend to target protest organizers.

"The violence instigated and carried out by Antifa and other similar groups in connection with the rioting is domestic terrorism and will be treated accordingly," Barr said in a statement issued Sunday.

There is little evidence from federal law enforcement that antifa is behind the protests

There have been violent acts, including property destruction and theft. Police officers and protesters have been seriously injured and killed. But federal law enforcement officials have offered little evidence that antifa-aligned protesters could be behind a movement that has appeared nearly simultaneously in hundreds of cities and towns in all 50 states since Floyd's death.

The AP obtained copies of daily confidential "Intelligence Notes" distributed this past week to local enforcement by the Department of Homeland Security that repeat, without citing evidence, that "organized violent opportunists — including suspected anarchist extremists — could increasingly perpetrate nationwide targeting of law enforcement and critical infrastructure."

"We lack detailed reporting indicating the level of organization and planning by some violent opportunists and assess that most of the violence to date has been loosely organized on a level seen with previous widespread outbreaks of violence at lawful protests," the assessment for Monday says.

Demonstrators march near the White House on June 4, 2020. Olivier Douliery/AFP via Getty Images

The following day, the assessment noted "several uncorroborated reports of bricks being pre-staged at planned protest venues nationwide."

"Although we have been unable to verify the reporting through official channels, the staging of improvised weapons at planned events is a common tactic used by violent opportunists," the Tuesday assessment says.

But social media posts warning that stacks of bricks have been left at protest sites in Atlanta, Boston, and Los Angeles have been debunked by local officials who have explained that the masonry was out in the open before the protests or was for use in construction projects.

Nichols, the balloon artist, hardly fits the portrait of a radical.

He recently gained local notice for a giant balloon rabbit and other sculptures displayed in his front yard for Easter. He laughed when asked if he had any ties to antifa or other militant groups. A white man who lives less than a half-mile from where Floyd was killed on May 25, Nichols said he protested to support of his neighbors, many of whom are black.

"It was the most insane thing I've seen in my life," he said. "The city was going crazy."

Protesters stand in front of the 3rd precinct police building as it burns during a protest on May 28, 2020 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Scott Olson/Getty Images

Nichols said he and a friend helped douse a dumpster fire that near a laundromat. He remembers getting a text from his mother saying that Minneapolis had set an 8 p.m. curfew, but he thought it would be enforced loosely.

Ortiz and another friend in the car with him were put in zip-tie restraints and forced to wait on a bus for hours before police took them to jail, where he would spend the weekend.

Lars Ortiz, a 35-year-old classical musician, said he was driving just blocks from his Minneapolis home on May 29 after visiting a friend recovering from COVID-19 when officers pulled him out of his car at gunpoint. He said he had been unaware of the 8 p.m. curfew enacted that night.

"Had I known that being out after curfew would be such a severe penalty, I would have never done it," Nichols said, adding that he missed his son's high school graduation while he was in jail.

"It was scary. It was confusing. I felt violated," said Ortiz, a cellist who identifies as a biracial Mexican American.

Ortiz was held on a riot charge and curfew violation. He said he was told when he was released from jail on Monday the more serious rioting charge was dropped.

Bail funds are being flooded with donations following the mass arrests of protesters this past week. Sergio Flores/Getty Images

"In chaos like that you can't determine who is legit and who isn't," a Minnesota police officer said

Lt. Andy Knotz of the Anoka County Sheriff's Office, whose deputies were deployed from the suburban county north of Minneapolis into the city to help with the unrest, said it was a "chaotic scene" and that Ortiz was coming from the direction of the protests. Knotz said Ortiz was removed from his car by the Minnesota State Patrol, and an Anoka deputy took him to the police station.

"In chaos like that you can't determine who is legit and who isn't," Knotz said.

Natalie Cook, 43, who's white, said she had never before participated in a protest, but wanted to be there to support and protect her 24-year-old son, who's black.

"Not only did I want to go to be an ally to black people, but I wanted to go to support my son," Cook said. "Also, I was afraid to send him out by himself."

Cook said they were marching peacefully with about 100 protesters for hours when police started using tear gas and shooting rubber bullets. As they tried to get away, they were pepper sprayed and her son was hit at close range by a rubber bullet, she said. They were both jailed and released on Monday, charged with riot and violating curfew.

Cook said her son was deeply affected by Floyd's death and she doesn't have any regrets about going out to make their voices heard.

"My son was really struggling with it," she said. "We couldn't just sit by and watch."

AP filed public records requests seeking arrest reports and other documents that might show what evidence law enforcement officers have against Nichols, Ortiz the Cooks and others arrested in Minneapolis. Those records have not yet been provided.

Police officers wearing riot gear push back demonstrators outside of the White House on June 1, 2020. JOSE LUIS MAGANA/AFP via Getty Images

In Washington, the D.C. Metropolitan Police arrested at least 81 people last weekend, including some as young as 13. Most were charged with curfew violations and felony rioting, which could result in up to 180 days in jail and $5,000 in fines.

Among the highest profile arrests made by federal authorities in the last week was Matthew Lee Rupert. Prosecutors allege the 28-year-old Illinois man traveled to Minneapolis to participate in riots and then posted videos on a Facebook page showing him looting stores and handing out explosives.

In one video, Rupert, a convicted felon, says: "We come to riot, boy! This is what we came for!"

Though Rupert is alleged to have targeted police officers, there is no evidence cited in his indictment he is affiliated with any organized group. Among the few indicators of his political beliefs was a series of Facebook posts celebrating Trump's 2017 inauguration. "Trump is my president but I'm not racist," he wrote, adding that he loves Mexican food.

Rupert, who made an initial court appearance Friday, remains in federal custody. A federal public defender assigned to represent him did not respond to a voicemail message seeking comment.

A former FBI agent said people frequently cross state lines to protest

Michael German, a former FBI agent and fellow with the Brennan Center for Justice at New York University, said people often travel and cross state lines to participate in protests and that not all of them have peaceful intent. He said politicians and law enforcement often cite the presence of out-of-towners to justify greater police force against protesters.

"It's an old tactic for law enforcement policing protests to suggest that the problems are being caused by outside agitators," German said. "It opens up the opportunity for greater police violence in response."

Among those who traveled to Minneapolis to protest Floyd's killing was Tara Houska, a 36-year-old attorney and member of the Couchiching First Nation from northern Minnesota. An activist for indigenous rights, she was arrested in Minneapolis last Saturday night and charged with not complying with a peace officer.

Houska, who attended college and law school in the city, said she was with a group a couple blocks from where Floyd died when police told them they were breaking curfew. They replied they were going home, she said, and then the officers hit them with pepper spray and zip-tied their hands.

"Almost everyone that was in our holding tank with us was from Minnesota," Houska said.

Sierra West, 29, of Kansas City, Missouri, said she drove to Minneapolis with a friend because she is "so angry about what is happening" with police brutality and wanted to peacefully protest.

After marching for hours, West she broke away from the crowds and was walking back to her car through an alley alone when police arrested her early Saturday on riot and curfew violation charges. She said she did nothing to provoke the four officers who confronted her.

"They were hiding, and they literally jumped out of the shadows with guns drawn on me," she said. "The street was completely empty."

West, who is white and describes herself as a strong supporter of the Black Lives Movement, was freed from jail on Monday afternoon.

Police in Houston arrest a protester during demonstrations following the death of George Floyd. Sergio Flores/Getty Images

University of Minnesota Law School student Santana Boulton, 23, said a police officer pepper-sprayed her in the face on May 28 before she was tear-gassed two days later and then arrested on Sunday, charged with unlawful assembly and violating a curfew.

About 15 minutes before the 8 p.m. curfew, Boulton said she and her boyfriend joined a large crowd of marchers on Interstate 35. People linked arms and kneeled before two lines of police officers formed near the protesters. She said she never heard any orders to disperse.

"It was nothing like a riot. It was a sit-in," she said.

Boulton, a white woman who moved from Michigan to Minneapolis to attend law school, was arrested and spent 16 hours in custody. She described herself as "philosophically an anarchist," but "not a revolutionary."

"Antifa isn't even real," Boulton said. "As an actual person who identifies with the political label of anarchist, the only thing anarchists do is have meetings where they argue for five hours and get nothing done."

[queermediastudies]

One other thing that I think is really interesting about this film is, based on your review, I don't see any commentary on why Jose and all the real life Guatemalan queers that Chang spoke with chose not to leave their oppressive and truly abusive situations. To me, I think this speaks to the true power and the stranglehold that this way of life has on these queer youth. Change is scary without a doubt so that's certainly a factor as well, but I think the main reason is that their way of life is completely dictated by other people and the institutions in which they exist. These sorts of situations don't allow for any sort of individual agency and therefor acting on your own accord is something lots of people don't have any experience in.

Additionally, I do agree that religion plays an aspect in the condemnation of all things queer but I think the bigger, or maybe another big factor is not just heteronormativity, but "masculinity" and "machismo" energy overall that permeates throughout Spanish and Latin American culture. Men are taught and encouraged to be prideful and be able to provide and protect their family. Machismo is often also associated with a sort of aggressive masculinity, so it makes sense perhaps that this idea of family and tradition and being the "man" who protects and provides takes priority over self-expression.

I can't say that I've seen this film or even heard of the director, but I would initially agree that his nationality, sexual orientation, gender and racial identity should be considered when weighing this film. While I do respect his efforts for authenticity and time spent in the region, you have to wonder how truly authentic can you portray a culture when you're not a native. Great post however and good insight. - Range

José, A Look at Being Queer in Guatemala

José, directed by Li Cheng and winner of the 2018 Venice Film Festival’s Queer Lion, follows José, a closeted gay 19 year old who lives with his mother in a small apartment in Guatemala. José’s mother is a religious woman who sells meat pies at a street market, she is loving but is also slightly manipulative as she frequently tells José she needs him by her side and does not know what she would do without him.

In the film we see that José works at a bustling street corner for a restaurant, waving cars toward the restaurant so that he can carhop food to them. He spends his break glued to his phone, which provides him a lifeline, through a “Grindr” like app it acts as the door for him to express his otherwise repressed sexuality. Through this app José meets Luis, an Indigenous construction worker from coastal Izabal, who lights a spark that is not only physical but also emotional. For it is not until José meets Luis that we ever see him smile, José almost seemed like a passive character in his own life until his relationship with Luis begins. The two meetup in a flophouse that rents by the hour; only behind closed doors, away from the gaze of others can they truly show each other affection, though they are surrounded by affectionate heterosexual couples everywhere else they go. In the conservative, heteronormative, and strongly religious city of Guatemala, José and Luis must hide their love. However, despite their best efforts to keep their romance a secret, José’s mother suspects him of having a hidden romance and after catching him leave with Luis on a motorcycle she meets with Luis’s mother to tell her she thinks Luis is a bad influence on José. But where did the pair go that motorcycle? To the flophouse? No, this time they went to the remote countryside, this is the first time the audience sees plants and vegetation in the film, being a metaphor for José’s relationship with Luis breathing life into him. 

While riding to the countryside we are able to see the pair share an intimate moment, Luis kisses José’s neck while he drives, all while being out in the open; the quiet countryside granting them this small moment. However, after they get back and José lies to his mother about where he has been, her suspicions are unspokenly confirmed. The next time they meet Luis asks José to run away with him. He offers to use his experience as a construction worker to build them a house in the countryside, an opportunity to leave the city and enjoy life together. But José was content with his double life here, after all, how could he leave his mother behind? Ultimately he turns down Luis’ offer and goes home. After this Luis is nowhere to be found, José searches for him at their usual meetup points but he isn’t there. The life that the relationship brought José slips away and he becomes depressed. We see José hook up with a couple more men from his dating app but eventually he can’t bring himself to continue these hookups, the loss of his relationship with Luis still wearing heavy on him. Eventually José’s mom convinces him to go stay with his grandmother in a rural village. She tells him the story of how her husband disappeared, inspiring José to ask around town if anyone knows Luis. When he gains no leads he heads to a Mayan ruin, which acts almost like a resting place where his relationship has been buried. After mourning the loss of Luis one last time he gets a ride from a, presumably, queer man to the bus stop, potentially signaling a new relationship or at the very least that he is moving on. 

José depicts what life is like for so many closeted individuals in not only Guatemala but Latin America in general. Showing how overbearing heteronormativity, religion, and family values can be on young closeted individuals.

In almost every scene out in public, from José’s workplace, to him making his way through the busy streets of Guatemala, a heterosexual couple can be seen in frame. 

This can be read in a couple different lights. One being that José is envious of these couples ability to be affectionate in public while he has to hide his love, and the other highlighting the culture of heteronormativity in Guatemala. Guatemala is depicted as a place with strong religious beliefs, seen through José’s mother and through various church scenes and preachers on the streets or buses. This religious importance makes it “wrong” to stray from God’s word by doing something like being queer. It presents a threat of ostracism, punishment, and violence that makes heterosexuality compulsory (Butler, 2016, p. 77-78). Cheng’s decision to show so many heterosexual couples in the background helps the audience to understand the culture of heteronormativity that is prevalent in Guatemala.

In addition to the themes of heteronormativity and religion, family values also shine through. Throughout the film we see José care for his mother, when he gets home from work and hands her all his money we can see that taking care of her is truly important to him. We also see how she takes care of him, she hands him back some cash to spend on himself, and cooks and cleans his clothes. 

However, the dynamic is not entirely healthy, José is effectively held down by his mother’s need to have him around as well as kept from expressing himself due to her strong religious beliefs and homophobia. However, despite this, and despite José seeming to know that he won’t ever be able to be his true self under the same roof as his mother, he chooses to stay with her as opposed to running away with Luis. Cheng discussed in an interview that when conducting interviews with queer youths across Latin America to use as a foundation for the film many interviewees expressed that they would rather stay with their mothers than run off with their lovers; because of this he wanted to depict what the realistic choice would be for so many closeted individuals in Latin America as opposed to having José abandon his family values and run off with Luis. This importance of family, while quite different, can also be seen in Moonlight. Both Hutchinson (2017) and Als (2016) discuss the importance of family, especially as one grows up. They express that family isn’t always perfect, Als goes as far as to say that Chiron’s mother is “awful” (Als, 2016), but that having guardians that take care of you is crucial when growing up. For Chiron this was Teresa and Juan, for José it is his mother.

One thing that is potentially problematic about José is its director. 

Li Cheng is not Guatemalan, he is Chinese. While he did conduct extensive interviews with queer youths across Latin America for the film and lived in Guatemala for two years to conduct research it is still curious that the film is not directed by someone from Guatemala. This makes me question the authenticity of the culture that is shown in the film, especially in regards to the director’s understanding of the religious culture as well as family values in Guatemala. In addition, I am unsure as to if Cheng himself is queer, I have looked into interviews and was unable to find any information on his sexuality. Though there is some queer representation in the film as Enrique Salanic, who plays José, is openly gay. I find it interesting and potentially problematic that a film depicting the lives of a marginalized community is not told by that community. This is a concern that is also voiced by Tourmaline where she discusses that we should “not just think about what we want to see represented on screen, but also how we want those images to be made and stories documented in the first place” (Tourmaline, 2017).

It is important for me to note that I myself am not Guatemalan, instead I am Coast Salish, Mexican, and queer. In this way my review of this film and its depiction of life in Guatemala does not come from lived experience. In addition, I am not fully qualified to critique Cheng’s ability or qualifications to direct this film. However, being part Mexican I do have some understanding of how important catholicism is to Latin American families, I also understand how important the closet is, especially when one is surrounded by a religious community. Overall, I am glad this film exists. It highlights how heteronormativity, religion, and family values all play into the lives of queer Guatemalan youth.

References

Als, H. (2016, October 17). “Moonlight” Undoes Our Expectations. Retrieved from https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/10/24/moonlight-undoes-our-expectations

Autori, G. degli . (n.d.). Young people in Guatemala are ready to change. Retrieved from https://cineuropa.org/en/video/359866/

Barker, M.-J., & Scheele, J. (2016). Judith Butler. In Queer (pp. 77, 78). Icon Books.

Hutchinson , S. (2017, March 6). Moonlight, Black Boy and Teachable Moments. Retrieved from https://www.thefeministwire.com/2017/03/moonlight-black-boy-teachable-moments/

Tourmaline. (2017, October 11). Tourmaline on Transgender Storytelling, David France, and the Netflix Marsha P. Johnson Documentary. Retrieved from https://www.teenvogue.com/story/reina-gossett-marsha-p-johnson-op-ed