#but I'm so tired fam
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#me: ok time to review these three modules for the test tomorrow#*sits down and scrolls tumblr/reddit and chats on discord for two and a half hours*#me: i deserve a nap#*crawls into bed ignoring the three modules that have yet to be opened*#kee speaks#in my defense I already had a ridiculous welding test this morning that generally has a 30% pass rate#i failed but it's an optional certification so it doesn't have any affect on my journeyman certification#i think there were ten of us that took it this morning but half of us failed#there's another group from my class challenging it tomorrow#and then the test i should be studying for is in the afternoon#so tbf I have all morning tomorrow to study as well#but I'm so tired fam#down to the last week cause im done next Friday but there are going to be some crazy exams next week 😩😩#i just want to sleep
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Welcome one and all to my version of the party's loopified designs, featuring my many broken bones and blood stains I especially put into Odile who I tackled second unlike the alphabetical order that I have presented here! I'll have in-depth discussions on each designs and matching practice portraits under the cut but before that-
Siffrin 'barely taller than a preteen' no middle name no last name Loop is still barely taller than a preteen but now that preteen can claim fire to their height!
Alphabetical order GO!
Bonnie, who I've been calling Bonfire (which if that ends up being their name I can imagine Bonnie calling them 'Fire' while they call Bonnie 'Face' to match), was the last of my designs because frankly I knew from the start what their design was going to take influence from and also knew I was going to draw fire :P They were based on bonfires (of course) and also specifically the Burning Man effigies just for a humanoid figure, plus being a chef cooker and a campfire and also a very heated expressive person.
Their flames are hot but not actual wood burning so the Favour Tree (and Mirabelle in the height chart) are not at risk of combusting, they're just incredibly bright-
Isabeau my first design, with influences from @basilpaste 's Lock (with a dressform body) and @nullapophenia 's original version of Husk (the faceless identityless sketch), I have combined them both to make a mannequin it/its loopified design that finally gets to be capital T Tall all for the low low price of being Changed against its will and suffering another bout of body dysphoria that it can't fix anymore :) :) :) When I was referencing mannequins I actually noticed how long their legs actually were let alone how they were perma-stuck in that Barbie-like highheel pose and thought why don't I just curse Isa with something he previously wanted :P
Something something Isabeau actively Changed not only his body but his personality to become someone he wouldn't be ashamed of, yada yada Loopsabeau is back to hating itself and has started to become a person it despises to match (also like a mannequin it's head and arms are technically painlessly removeable :P)
Third in order and third in design is Mirabelle, who technically is the only loopified design with technically hair and clothes, but the hair are the tangled roots of the Favour Tree and the clothes are like the carved hardstone statues of religious figures :P Initially my Idea for Mirabelle was to make her kinda like her statue, with the wonky expression of someone who made it without much mastery over details, not to pit anything against Mira, no, no. Thought about maybe abstract statue design but I couldn't find a version I liked but I did always imagine her statue being weathered in some way, there was a reason why I saved her for third I couldn't pick what I wanted. But then I remembered the broken Change God statues, thought about the 'blessing' that ended up being a curse, and then thought about overgrown weathering and gave her the roots.
I actually looked up Black hairstyles and mostly wondered what specific hair texture Mirabelle had (she wears it in a fro of course, but she has flyaways that aren't coils, but she described her own hair as kinky and :P) so that if I were to mimic hair with tree roots I can get an appropriate matching hairstyle (settled on megatwists). Hah, if Mira has 4C hair, considering how long her hair actually looks, if she to wear her hair in twists she might actually have elbow length hair :P
I spent 8 non-consecutive hours on Odile can you tell? Can you see my hands bleeding my wrist breaking my eyes drooping? Yeah so Odile was again, my second design and it took me a week to recover, and she's a combination of gem and mirror suit with all the little fragments floating around her the 'diamonds' that represent all her family members party plus the ones she originally had in sets of 2. I also put geodes where parts of her body have broken off (inspired by how when the King strikes she can't move, plus also being a glass canon) where when I was actually drawing those geodes that they kinda use the Change symbol?
Circle within a circle within a circle, regardless of how wiggly it is, and at the centre is a cluster of crystals. That was an accidental reference to Odile's mixed heritage but hoo boy what a connection! Her missing pieces are a combination of 'being too old for this' fragility and also 'i didn't want to render more mirrors sue me'
Anyway I am going to put my wrist in a cast and imagine loopified party members with their pre-wish counterparts :P
#bonnie#bonnie isat#isabeau#isabeau isat#mirabelle#mirabelle chevalier#mirabelle isat#odile#odile isat#loop#loop isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#fanart#i saw someone mention in the tags of my previous isat post talking about the mirabelle chevalier tag#as soon as my grubby little broken mitts grab hold of either a physical or digital copy of the isat artbook#which as has been said by insertdisc5 include the last names of the characters (at least the ones that remember them)#i will not only continue using chevalier but also everyone else's last names in tags#replacing... one of the other character tags#a lot of my thoughts on the designs have been already said#but me and the same isat friends have some thoughts on how the loopified versions interact with their old selves#mirabelle is the nicest but may snap every so often in a 'arent you tired of being kind dont you want to go apeshit' kinda way#isabeau is a bitter jealous asshole who's regressed to being unkind thanks to not having the body it worked so hard to make once#odile is a little cold when talking to herself since pleasantries take too much time plus her 'i will do awful things [for da fam]' ways#and bonnie is bonnie so they're angry and pissed and sad they won't see their nille again but also they and bonnie are friends in the loop#speaking as someone who at bonnie's age didn't really have friends um whether or not i'm projecting i think fire and face can be besties#please enjoy these designs my kitten scratched me so hard i needed a bandaid for the price of angst and i think that's fitting#do i have an attached au to these designs? no. do i want one? maybe maybe i guess there's only so many ways to have an [x] loops au
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Thank you all so much for the kind words on my dark!Mae AU! Here’s another painting for it, this time featuring Elrond as he dances at Maedros’ dark fae court, similar to how Lúthien danced for Morgoth XDD In the same vein, Elrond (and Elros; he’s hanging around there somewhere) is trying to lull Maedros into a sense of security/ease.
I imagine Elrond’s dance is close to a ballet style, hence his pointe-like shoes. That said, I wanted to practice with perspective for this painting, and got some awesome feedback from the Artists of Arda discord chat, but ultimately set that version aside and went with this! I do feel that this version has a better composition story-wise: Maedros wants to keep Elrond close, and won’t let him dance too far away.
Also, while I was drawing Maedros’ guards, I realized that they kinda resemble my designs for Maglor and Celegorm ... Which led to the idea that Maedros subconsciously surrounds himself with people who look like his dead family :’’’’D Angst ahoy! loll
For this painting, I referenced the setting of the Swan Lake ballet, starring Natalia Osipova, specifically Odile’s Black Swan solo before the queen and her court. And the first version of this painting is under the cut, if you want to see:
Help I hate drawing grids lmaooo
#also please ignore the sketch lines behind the guards#i know they're an eyesore i'm so sorry ^^;;#i was just too tired to define them properly#clean lineart? what's that?? loll#art#my art#tolkien#silmarillion#fanart#au#dark maedhros#kidnap fam#kidnap dads#elves#eldar#noldor#sindar#elrond#maedhros#elros#my friend also mentioned that the painting gave her alice in wonderland vibes#especially with the red/white colour palette#which got me thinking about mae being the red king#watching the white pawn dance for him#while not knowing that elrond the pawn will rise thru the ranks and become the white king/queen#then again elros might fit that description better loll since he becomes king in canon XDD
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I am finally finished! I didn't go with ships and instead more of their personalities, so don't look too deep into how they are paired up. All six of them got in trouble together anyway, I would imagine.
Also went with their default looks, because I didn't feel like figuring out something new lol
#camp fam#camp cretaceous#darius bowman#jwcc brooklynn#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#kenji kon#ben pincus#i don't like how kenji came out#not one bit#but i had to give up at some point#i forgot how to draw him#also feel like they all are pretty inconsistent but it took me so much time#it just ended like that#also wanted to include a small bonus but i'm so tired#maybe i'll post it seperately later if i draw it#ignore the size of the thing they are holding lmao#don't look at it#my art
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As an actual irl dyke, a certified Lesbian, I fuck with the m/f Sandman crowd, the Morphienne and the CocoRose and the Cocoluce, the Dreamuse folks a million times before I'd fuck with any person who puts out or reblogs one post about how Lucienne and/or Rose and/or Gault is a Lesbian/Bi Icon Yaaas Queen Work Slay and then proceeds to give the other 99% of their attention to the same two or three dudes and those pairs over and over and clearly has no deeper thought or real interest in the personality relationships or inner lives of these ladies.
#fandom wank#fandom misogyny#i'm just so tired fam this is petty bitching don't kill me#i guess i'm not done i thought i was i just had to get it off my chest
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when i put ravenstan in this croptop it's all over for everyone
#nina speaks#everyone: uncle nina are u ok u havent answered an ask in a week whats goin on why do u keep flickerin in n out u good fam#me: shshshshshshhhh don't worry here's a pinterest post its so yummy eat up kiddo mwah ( i'm okay i am tired )#but i miss you all and i miss the boys so im going to try and get some stuff down ( food and words alike )#the ask box is crazy rn i am soooo sorry i will get on it haha first day in a while i have not been too sick to sit up#so fuck it we ball hang on angels i cannot make you promises because i fall thru a lot but know i love you more than life#and sure as shit more than death! fuck that HOE
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uwu
#it scares me how quickly i found all these screenshots... it legit took a week of just normal browsing.#but anyways lol i wanted to make this for a while because omg fam i'm so tired.#bullying#harassment#death wish#social media#tumblr#ao3#proship#antis#human rights#death ment cw#amy castle#the cuppycake song
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So...here it is. Wrote the first bit, drove across the state, visited some people... DID NOT tell them about what I've written. Bon appetit!
Seriously though. This week: the return of the Flash! He's taking center stage and he'd really rather not. We talk more about the "shape" or rather "sound" of time waves. Tim received some bad news prior to this chapter and is trying really hard not to let that affect his conduct. He's a semi-...well, not professional.
Read or don't. I appreciate you either way!
#batfam#ao3 batfam fanfic#tim drake#batfamily#I'm not tagging wally or flash here since i don't want to make his fans mad when he doesn't show up much in the fic#so just know that he's here and I'm trying to respect the tags and not flood fans of other characters#Outside the batfam and the superfam...well DC doesn't really treat ANY of their characters right sometimes but other fams get a lot less#so...we will not lure them in under false pretenses#i'm tired and also kinda surprised I finished this#i should've gotten more work done on other things today but oh well
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#look.. I've never been an apple girly and i doubt i will be bc i hate how they run things#..... but the whole ikevil stalling thing has been an extra layer of annoyance frfr#anyway here's their sneak peak pv thing for those interested in the en prologue#I'm just gonna wait for if/when we get to play it#atp im just too annoyed to care anymore#and the new silvio story is like $100 in ikepri? so yeah just.. fuck it all#my post 📫#sourced content#just feelin tired as shet fam#ikevil#ikemen villains
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working on my douchiest dragon bio yet, it's just a catalogue of my uma collection
#i'm tired of pretending i buy umas bc i think i'll put them on a dragon#fam i will not. i am never going to get a dragon for this uma. but i will get this uma.#i just like having them. i legit enjoy just buying them and having them#but they just sit in my hoard and it's not very fun to look at them that way#so douchebag bio it is!!! this is so indulgent i'm thrilled
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Hoping to take it easy after the show finished and it's just been 2 weeks of solid main work (all "urgent" suddenly) and brochure after brochure after brochure after logo design after fucking brochure every damned night for two weeks. I have proper solid time off in two weeks, but don't it always seem to go that you end up getting 16 motherfucking hours of work a day every day when it leads up to it ughhh
#YES i avoided work on the weekend but that just meant I did housework instead lol#YES I'm actually living a fuckin sweet life yo#YES i'm still burnt out and yes this is definitely me avoiding picking up the damned computer again jfc#the marketing lady wrote me notes about a docs section overhaul and it's as clear as fucking mud#but I've got to do it tonight beacuse I have a meeting about it in the morning#like the dude was badgering me to see the finished work 4 business hours after we'd had a meeting about it last week#like fam. FAM. fuck OFF#it takes 4 fucking hours for the repo to update#and I've got 2 other “urgent” things to that I haven't done because they've been badgering me so hard on this one#this is all fine really I'm just super tired and out of whack a bit still#so I be stresssssed even tho I consciously know I don't need to be#but I am like a stress sponge. It just soaks right up as soon as there's a mild inconvenience#UGHHHH okay I'll get back to it#text tag
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Of course I'm having more car problems that I can't fix :) Of course :)
#Yadda yadda#Does anyone have say oh *counts on fingers*#Three to five thousand dollars to spare?#I'm so so so tired of existing man#I wish to cease#I'm sorry this is all I post lately#I've only got time to attempt to work and sleep because shit like this keeps happening#People have been hella generous and supportive and I hate that I can't just#Be better and actually have a reason to exist again#Because y'all are cool and deserve better#Sorry fam#I can't say if things will get better#Being hella disabled on like every front does NOT help this situation#Man life just SUCKS#Ok ok done rambling back to attempting to work
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Just remembered this existed also merry christler and happy holidays
#petscop#care petscop#christmas#holiday#shitpost#I'm so tired rn I was hanging out with the fam#not much else tbh#obligatory Christmas post for the day
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today should be a t break day
bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts
but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain
so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either
#text post#no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning#but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry#and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year#and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down#and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings#which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit#doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me#but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time#there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is#I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise#it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like#whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj
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I think I'm hitting a critical level once again just a lot of negativity swirling in my brain that I can't seem to shut out and each day the desire to keep progressing gets weaker and weaker I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up again I'm so tired might be hard to reach for a bit we'll see maybe I just need to disconnect for a bit and just idunno sleep or something
#this has been a personal post#I'm not burnt out or nothing for like art or anything#I think I'm just burnt out on existing#I'm so tired of everyday being a struggle of figuring out if I'm gonna be able to stomach food#dealing with the constant lows and highs of my glucose levels cause my stomach won't do its job properly#It gets so fucking taxing having to deal with it#all alone cause no one in my fam even gives a shit so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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hii
#still at the beach#we decided to stay an extra night lol#i've loved spending so much time with my mom and niece#today was even more tiring than yesterday tho. we did a lot of shopping earlier in the day#it's kinda funny bc i've been so busy hanging with the fam and running around like the only time i have to get on here#is when it's late as fuck and i'm nearly ready to pass out
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