#but I'm not naming it in hope of getting wider opinions

[fayeandknight]

First and foremost, while this post contains content about docking, I am firmly not interested in debating it. It is part of the standard for this breed in my country and I'm not going to tolerate knocking reputable breeders for adhering to said breed standard.

That said, I am potentially interested in getting into breeding and would like some input from knowledgeable folks.

Some up front info: I have experience with the breed and absolutely adore them. It is a docked breed and part of my interest in getting into breeding is because I want a undocked dog without sacrificing quality.

If I did pursue breeding it would only be under mentorship.

The medium length version of my plan would be to acquire a wonderful male puppy from an excellent breeder. Title him in agility, conformation, and some original breed purpose things. Do above and beyond health testing. Basically prove him to be an exemplary example of the breed. Throughout this I would also be developing a solid relationship with his breeder.

I would want his breeder to arrange the pairing for his breeding, first litter at minimum. I would want to be fully educated on why they decided on the pairing they do and everything that goes into that.

From that breeding I would like to keep a female. She would be docked per breed standard and I would prove her as I did my male. If, and only if, all these things played out this way would I then use her as my foundation bitch for my own program in which the puppies would be undocked.

My program would likely not produce dogs often. Only when I am looking for my next dog and know that I can find quality homes for all puppies. I would also look to my mentor for education on how to match puppies to homes that suit them and all that entails.

So my question to knowledgable folks is, does this sound like a good approach for getting into breeding? Would you be open to working with and essentially taking someone like me under your wing?

As much as I desire an undocked dog from this breed, I don't want to pursue that in an irresponsible or impulsive manner.

Much thanks for your words of experience and wisdom.

[mcu-coworkers]

Vampire

Summary: You tell Miguel his truths and in return he shows you his.

Word count: 1.9k+

Warnings: none really:]

A/n: Hello everyone welcome to long awaited part 4 as well as the final part to this little series! thank you guys so much for loving it I truly can't express how grateful I am for all of you I hope you love this ending and I hope to you all again in my next story! Also I will be attaching the tag list to this chapter since hopefully that makes it a little easier to find everyone. I hope everyone enjoys.xx

Tag list

Parts: I II III IIII^

Credits to the owner^:)

It had been a week since you went back to HQ and you were starting to feel lighter.

In a way, telling Miguel your truth helped you get there.

Because now, you didn't have to keep thinking about the thought of what you’d say to him if you ever saw him again.

But you did see him again, and in your opinion, you said just the right things.

Suddenly you found yourself having more energy, listening to happier songs, and taking Milo on longer walks or fun adventures.

Things were finally starting to look up for you, so much so you actually thought about returning to the spider society to get back on fighting multiversal crime.

Right on queue Peter walks through the portal.

“You sure you wanna do this? You said you’d never come back.” he questioned remembering how he found you right after everything happened.

Thinking about it one more time, you smiled and turned on your suit.

“Yep, I'm just gonna lay low. Be a freelance spider with no commitment to a sector or anything you know?” you said reassuring yourself.

“Okay but  I   mean more like to get back in you’ll have to talk to Miguel. And he hasnt been in the best of moods lately.” he said watching as you walked.

Your smile only got wider as you made your way to the portal, for the first time you felt nothing.

No butterflies in your stomach and no heart beat skipping at the mention of his name.

Progress right?

Shrugging his shoulders Peter followed you in standing right beside you as you entered the busy hallways.

“Alright well  I  ‘ll leave you to it. I'm gonna take May Day to get her mid day nap.” he said walking away.

“See ya later Pete thanks for bringing me in.” you said waving him away.

As you made your way to Miguel's office you thought about what Pete said earlier, had he really been such a grump.

You’d think he’d be happier not having to deal with you.

But like always, nothing and no one could ever help that man no matter the case.

As you made your way up Miguel was practicing his speech with Lyla.

“... I   didn’t mean what  I   said that day and if  I   knew the damage it would do  I   wouldn't have said it in the first place? Sounds stupid doesn't it?” he said, turning to face her.

“Yep, just like the first two times you said it. Miguel when you go find her you have to speak from the heart not from a piece of paper it just sounds so Scripted.” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Scripted? It's not scripted. I just think writing my thoughts down will help me pull it together.” he said huffing in frustration.

“How about this, you pretend im Y/n and tell me what you’d say, no notes just your thoughts. Right now.” she said sitting in a little AI chair she made for herself.

Thinking about it he just gave up.

“Okay but record it so  I   can take notes after.” he said, beginning to pace around the panel.

Sighing he began to get frustrated with himself, “Ay cono esto no esta sirviendo.” he said rubbing his face.

“Come on Miguel, get to it.” Lyla said, rushing him.

“This is stupid! Shes probably off with who ever the fuck Milo is having the time of her life because  I  , like the big fucking idiot  I   am, pushed her straight into his arms!” he said, at this point he was over the smashing and breaking things so he just leaned against his desk.

“It doesn't matter what  I   say anymore Lyla, She’ll never forgive me, she’ll never listen to me.  I  ‘ll never get to tell her that  I   love her and even if  I   did she’d never believe it because she thinks  I   am a big giant asshole.' ' he said lowering his voice as he got close to the end.

“But you know what? That Milo is one lucky soul, he gets to look into her eyes, make her smile, just simply be in her presence. He has everything  I   wish  I   had. Y/n.” he said, still looking down.

“ I   was a vampire, sucking the life out of her and then just tossing her to the side like she meant nothing, when in reality she was fucking everything Lyla. Milo is one lucky guy.” he said, looking up at Lyla to see her smiling.

Confused by her reaction he was getting ready to ask.

“Milo is a dog, my dog.” you said, startling him.

“Dios mío (my god), Y/n? What are yo-what are you doing here.” he said, his heart practically racing out of his chest.

“Well  I   was here to ask for my place back in the society but  I   think I'm gonna go.. Yeah I'm gonna go.” you said as tears began to well up in your eyes.

There was no actual way you just heard all of that.

Looking between you and Lyla Miguel went after you.

“No no no wait just please.” he said, holding onto your arm.

Pulling back you felt anger, the audacity of this man.

“Who do you think you are? Huh?  I  was so in love with you Miguel! So stupidly in love with you because  I   thought you were this hero that helped everyone and you just needed someone to help you.” you said laughing to yourself.

“People told me to stay away from you, that you’d never accept the help or even my friendship. But  I   shook them off and thought they were crazy for not wanting to see through that rough surface you carried, but  I   did,  I   wanted to.  I   wanted to believe that  I   could break through and see the real you, but  I   realized there is no breaking through. That was it there was no surface, that's just who you are and it was all thanks to you. No one else helped me realize it, just you.” you said shoving a finger into his chest.

“And when  I   took that leap of faith and told you how  I   felt you kicked me to the curb, you bled me dry like a goddamn vampire. Because of you  I   almost gave it all up.  I   was so broken, so lost. All because  I   risked my place next to you and  I   lost it. But in reality   I   never had it. There was no place next you because you're Big bad Spiderman 2099 and you work better alone. Fine, work alone.” you said walking away, nope, not walking away you weren't done.

“ No you know what, it's not fair. You do not get to reject me and make me go through all of this to just turn around and say that you love me. You’re a vampire, Miguel O’hara. You just like to suck the life out of me and toss me to the side until you feel like using me again.” you said tears were beginning to fall.

“Y/n please,  I   never meant for you to feel like this,  I   just,  I   just want you to come back.  I   understand if what  I   said was too much but we need you here.  I   need you here.” he said, looking at you with soft eyes.

God he was making it difficult to walk away.

“If this is your way of getting some fucked up little thrill  I   wont do it,  I   wont.” you said looking at him with threatening eyes.

“ I   know it's hard to believe what  I‘m saying but could you atleast try? Dios mio mujer  I‘m trying to confess my love for you and you're making it impossible!” he said, running his hands through his hair.

He fell for such a headstrong woman.

Looking at you again he decided to just go for it, “Oh fuck it.” he said looking at your lips.

“Wha-” before you could finish his lips were on yours and he was pulling you in for a passionate kiss.

Putting your hand against his chest you considered pulling away but as he cupped your face and pulled you closer your hands found themselves making their way to the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

Pulling away, Miguel continued to give you pecs allowing you to catch your breath.

“Believe me now?” he whispered.

“Mmmm, still a little skeptical.” you said smiling as he leaned back in smiling into the kiss.

“Aww aren't you two just the cutest? Lyla please tell me you got that.” you heard startling you as you pulled away.

“Yup, got it all.” she said pointing to the recording hologram, “So good.” she said smiling.

You tried to detach yourself from Miguel but he continued to hold you tightly by the waste.

So instead you opted for hiding into his chest and smiling.

“What do you need, Parker.” Miguel said as he looked at the walking interruption.

“My friend who came to see the walking grump was taking a little long just wanted to make sure she made it out alive.” he said, covering May Day's bright eyes.

“As you can see she is alive and well, you can go now.” he said, putting his attention back on you.

“Alright, im gone you kids be safe, take it slow.” he said jokingly.

“Peter!” you yelped turning a bright shade red.

“So,  I'm a blood sucking vampire?If  I   knew any better  I‘d think you have a thing for vampires amor.” he said as he kissed down your neck gently grazing you with his fangs.

Moving your head to give him more space you moved your hands into his hair and pulled at the roots.

“Just one.” you said smiling as he brought his lips back to yours.

“Good. Because this ones gonna do more than suck the life out of you.” he said as he pulled you back in for a kiss.

Smiling into the kiss you pulled away trying to control your laughter.

Confused by your reaction Miguel just watched.

“You were je-jealous of my dog?” you said trying to catch your breath.

Shoulder slumping Miguel hoped you wouldn't bring that up.

“You're not letting that go are you.” he said looking at the wall.

“Oh no, never  I   do have to admit, he is one handsome boy.” you said bursting out in laughter.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” he said as he attempted to keep a straight face, hearing your laugh in his office again made it hard.

Finally, everything was how he wanted it.

You at his side, with a dog, but nonetheless at his side.

Now he just had to get Milo on his side too.

Did this mean he was a dog dad now? 

“Wait Lyla did you know she was coming here?” he asked suddenly realizing that you just so happened to walk in at a perfect time.

“Yup, saw her on the surveillance footage and you were taking too long for my liking, you are welcome boss man.” she said, saluting him before disappearing.

Deciding to let it go he focused back on you, “worth it.”

Meanwhile Lyla was showing the other spiders the video collecting her winnings from the bets she placed.

“These damn AI’s always know everything.” Jess whispered under her breath.

She’d take it up with Miguel later, but for now… who knew he could be such a softy?

You did, more than ever now.

[zeldaelmo]

Bridgerton is trending? Well, that's my cue to finally share the art I commissioned for my Regency AU The Promise!

It's from @hylianzs! Thank you again! 🫶🏼

Here's an excerpt from the scene in chapter 7:

He held his breath and prayed for the words to come, this time. His trembling hand sought hers and, as if she knew she would make speaking tenfold easier, she opened up and allowed his fingers to curl in hers.

“Zelda.” His voice broke over her name anyway. “You don’t have to share what upsets you, I will never press you to do so. But you cannot quench my wish to help you carry your burden, whatever it is.” He looked back at the four-poster-bed, the blankets and pillows partly hidden by forest green-colored curtains. “I offered because… I know you haven’t been treated well since your father died. You said you wouldn’t mind sleeping in the common room, and although I admire your dedication to our… goal, I still want to… want to…"

Her eyes had grown wider, the grip on his fingers firmer and Link already felt the words in his mouth getting plush and difficult to get out. Damn it, he hadn't even made his point yet!

"I want y-you to reach blindly for your stirrups because you know I'm there to set them for you,” he pushed through. “I want—I want to lead you up the stairs so often that you have forgotten how it is to walk them on your own. I want you to speak quietly because you know that I'll listen and not because someone drilled into you that your opinion has no value. I want that frown you wore with your family gone. I want your smile to grow unconscious because I hold the door open so often. I want you to roll your eyes at me because I’ll help you from your horse again.” She swallowed hard, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He hoped they were the good kind of tears. Link squeezed her hand, gathering courage to continue. “I want you to get used again to the respect you deserve, Zelda. Grow tired of it, if you must, but I won’t rest until then. So please, let me sleep in that armchair.”

She closed her eyes, forcing two teardrops to break free and fall into her lap. She had his hand in an iron grip, but her lips remained sealed. Had he gone too far? Was it too early to offer her his loyalty?

Read the story here:

[punsbulletsandpointythings]

So I've been watching My Hero Academia and like

GOD ALL THE TODOROKI FAMILY BAGGAGE HURTS SO GOOD.

Like damn. What a complicated situation. I love that all the kids are handling things differently. I've already figured out the (obvious) Touya twist and BOY do I hope we get a reverse Darth Vader moment with that.

But also like. Fuck Endeavor with a rusty spork. He's a terrible terrible person. But gosh what a good character. That contrast between being a Great Hero and a Terrible, Abusive Father is a deeply compelling story, is definitely a part of how the show interrogates the idea of heros and the complexities around a society and culture of heros and villains.

We already see that complexity with All Might, and how by becoming a Symbol of Peace he's made it so he can't do anything but destroy his own body and still try to put on the smiling face for the public, and when he forcibly can't do that that anymore, for a few moments, the public turns on him, until he shows he's /still/given all of himself for the "Greater Good". Which is heartbreaking, and fascinating, I hope between him and Deku we get to examine that dynamic a bit more.

But that's like.....the needs of an individual being put aside for the expectations of society and how by being There for Everyone All The Time, All Might unintentionally became part of a system that can't really survive without him, so he can never leave, until he's forced to, and the plot becomes how society deals with that sudden lose of security.

With Endeavor, it's like. How do you come to terms with the duality of this person. He's saved so many lives, and in doing so, in his status rising because of his heroics, he turns around and commits atrocities. But it's not so much society forcing him into a corner like I think All Might is. Yeah societal expectations of heros probably played some part, but I think the larger part is the narrative pointing out how Endeavor's own drive, while I think coming from an initially good place, is corrupted by his own way of viewing the world.

We know he cares for people, he clearly can manage that on wider, impersonal scale. But he can't, or doesn't, apply that to his own family, because his own drive and desire to Be Better Than All Might outweighs everything else when he's not out in hero mode, thus: a Good Hero and at the same time, an Abusive Asshole Father.

And I like that, at least so far, the characters and the narrative won't let him forget that! Even as he tries to "fix things", I like how, as far as his family is concerned, he can't! He can try, but Natsuo and Shota, and even Fuyami, have no reason to trust him, and even less to forgive him, and I like that they say that! Like, good! I'm glad he's trying to be better, but fuck him!

AND I like that we see Shota seeing that juxtaposition of Good Hero v Terrible Father. I love that scene where he straight up says, "Don't pretend to be a good parent in front of my friends. I'm here for Endeavor, not Enji ((that's his name right?)) Todoroki, and I'm only here because it will benefit me and my training."

I don't entirely know where I'm going with this but it's all just! Such a good story! And there are so many other bits I could ramble on about (Fucking!!!! Bakugo???? Listen, as someone who was bullied for uhhhhh most of my pre-uni school life, if this were real I'd have OPINION. But it's NOT it's FICTION and GOD Bakugo and Izuku and their fucked up co-dependant situationship delights me, what delicious storytelling!!!) but I'm currently watching the Todoroki Backstories episodes of season 5 and ANNOYED (Read: delighted, again this narrative is WORKING SO WELL) that I'm so invested in Endeavor and his painfully slow realization of just how badly he fucked up!

Anyway, I'm gonna need so Todoroki Family Time Travel Fix-It aus please, because I want Rei and All Her Children to not get Backstory Trauma, so if anyone has recs (or like. MHA recs in general) HMU!

[bonefall]

Better Bones Hollyleaf

For @m3ow124 who asked for info about BB!Hollyleaf and I provide.

[ID: BB!Hollyleaf. She is a buff black cat with spiky bits all over her body, including a holly-shaped tail tuft. She has a spiky 'mane' that is still growing in.]

I'm a butch Hollyleaf truther. She's big like her mom, the body type is inherited from Runningwind.

BB!Po3 is a relaxed, slice-of-life kind of series with 'episodes' focusing on different events around the Lake as the Clans settle into their new territory.

Though the POV is still split, Hollyleaf is now the "central" character. She drives the wider narrative.

Examples of some episodes that will happen: The Shinewater Plague, Poppypaw's Undeath, Ripwater the River Monster, The Tunnels, the Reduxed Tribe Journey, Cinderpaw's broken leg retooled into an episode about her BPD, ShadowClan's Lichen ReBog Project, Sol working some chaos (but Blackstar doesn't loose faith until OotS), the Battle of the False Eclipse. I really will add just about anything that sounds fun.

She is a lesbian and her relationships with Willowshine, Heathertail, and Cinderheart are all given focus.

HOLLYLEAF AND FALLEN LEAVES ARE THE SAME CHARACTER. This story contains Time Travel Shenanigans.

She changes her name to Fallenleaf after returning from a century spent in the tunnels... and traps the God of Autumn inside of her lmao.

I haven't worked out her physical changes after becoming Fallenleaf, so feel free to suggest. I'm thinking of a kind of "ginger vitiligo," like orange-and-white patches resembling leaves creeping up her body making her look like Sol.

More art and relevant summaries I've done: Jayfeather and Longtail Cinderheart Leafpool Firestar

Below the cut: A full guide to Hollyleaf through Po3, Cruel Season, and Hollyleaf's Century, ending with closing notes about what she's up to in OotS and Beyond. She doesn't die in the Great Battle, she's got much more interesting things to do!

!!IT IS LONG!!

BB!Power of Three

Iceheart, once known as Scourge, is an important uncle-figure in her life. Mousefur, Firestar, Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw, Daisy, all cats she has opinions on during the various episodes.

Like canon, she is a cleric apprentice for a while. About a month or so.

In that time she became almost traitorously close with Willowpaw, and had to let her down gently.

It doesn't pan out as a cleric-- but she doesn't swap places with Jaypaw yet. He undergoes full Warrior training before choosing the path.

Firestar tasks his deputy, Brackenfur, with training Hollypaw in the hopes of bringing her up to snuff with her siblings.

Bracken and Holly get super close, and she's brought along on a lot of the diplomatic meetings with other Clans. She's being taught about Fire Alone, the ideology of her grandfather, Firestar.

She does have to reckon with it though-- as it exists as a challenge to parts of the Warrior Code. She is taught that she's an upcoming prodigy, and that she walks in the pawsteps of greatness. She has to be a hero-- but what does that mean?

She was meeting with Heatherpaw in the tunnels, not Lionblaze. Like canon, this ends after they're trapped and have to find their way out with young kittens, Sedgekit and Thistlekit.

As time goes on, she meets a lot of betrayal. Sedgepaw reveals the tunnels to Onestar, Willowpaw does nothing to stop Mistystar from joining the battle to attack ThunderClan in spite of all its help, and even ShadowClan does nothing to save Brackenfur during the Battle of the False Eclipse.

(This Eclipse is fake, it is Sol previewing what will come on the night of the Great Battle.)

We end Po3 with Holly deeply shaken, doubting what she's been taught and clinging even harder to the only thing she has left; that she is, by definition, a hero.

Seeing each grandkit grappling with their own arc, that Jayfeather feels StarClan hates him, Lionblaze with the fact he couldn't protect his Clan all alone, and Hollyleaf wondering if everything she's ever done has been worth it, he shares a prophecy he received long ago;

"There will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws. All three of you, you will work this out. I know this because I love you, and StarClan is capable of making mistakes."

That's the last big conversation they have with him, because he soon dies in...

BB!Cruel Season

(A book between Po3 and OotS, bridging the lighthearted tone of the former with the serious, plot-driven one of the latter. This is reposted and fluffed from another post, you'll recognize it if you've seen it)

The prophecy is revealed at the end of Po3, Ashfur overhears Firestar's words, and Cruel Season opens up with the three grappling with its meaning.

This sets the stage for the following;

Hollyleaf worrying about what her purpose is if everything she's done has been for naught and StarClan is terrified of her.

Lionblaze concerned for what this means in terms of how he will protect ThunderClan if he is so powerful he could destroy it.

Jayfeather confirming to himself that StarClan is full of assholes, telling his siblings that he fought Molefall to save Hazeltail.

In addition, Ashfur is doing some prophecy math; Fire and Tiger + Kin of your Kin = Disaster

The death of Brackenfur, the prophecy, the fact Jayfeather has been fighting StarClan and Grandpaw Firestar just decided to do nothing about it..... it's got Holly isolating herself.

WHY does StarClan hate them? ...is it just Jayfeather? Is it because he's been defying them?

Cracks are starting to form, but that's still her brother. She loves him. This is when Sol pops up again, offering to be someone to talk to.

(Reminder: Harry is the vessel. Sol is the god inhabiting him.)

Harry is thinking this is for more manipulation, Sol itself is taking an interest in a possible new vessel as he grows bored.

But we're overdue for the fire scene.

This time, the Fire is NOT random. Unknown to the Three, this is a Dark Forest plot.

Thornclaw (knows the territory), Whiskernose (established as knowing how to manage fires in TNP), and Breezepelt (breezepelt) are creating a diversion so they can murder Firestar

Regardless, the Three are caught in it.

While helping to evacuate the camp, Jayfeather's senses are overwhelmed. He can't get out of the fire, Holly and Lion run back for him and the blaze surrounds them.

Squirrelflight is at the lip of the quarry on the far side, trying to kick down a weak tree they can run up

Ashfur makes his infamous move, kicking her to the side

"I CANT LET YOU DO THAT, SQUIRRELFLIGHT"

They have a fight, Ashfur shouting about the prophecy, Fire and Tiger + Kin of your Kin = they are fated to destroy the clans, if Squilf had chosen him this never would have happened

Squilf is pinned, but reveals with passion, "BRAMBLECLAW'S KITTENS ARE DEAD, THESE AREN'T MINE"

Ashfur is confused just enough that she's able to muster a massive kick, sending him flying into the weak tree, knocking it over

Lionblaze races across this tree to help Squilf, smacking Ashfur across the face

It's a Moment, Lionblaze seeing his mentor both furious and terrified of him, blood on his claws

Ashfur absconds, leaving the Three with Squilf

Now this next part is important and contains a big change of motivation from canon; I want it to be clear that Holly killing Ashfur is 100% her REVENGE. It's not about safety, nor about keeping the secret. So here's how it goes;

The blood on Lionblaze's paw, Squirrelflight’s wounds, and the absence of Ashfur is DEFINITIVE PROOF he tried to murder them

Brambleclaw, the deputy and defacto leader because Firestar is missing, is furious and declares that if Ashfur is seen on ThunderClan territory, he is to be considered a rogue and to be brought to justice.

Ferncloud, Cloudtail, and the rest of Ashfur's associates are shocked.

Birchfall, Ash's nephew, tries to ask "are you SURE?" But immediately regrets it, seeing the haunted look in their eyes.

Especially Lionblaze, Ashfur's apprentice. He's devastated.

When Hollyleaf hunts Ashfur down later, she is IGNORING the order to bring him to justice.

But before that happens... they discover the body of Firestar.

His throat is torn out. It's immediately assumed that Ashfur did it.

Ferncloud is choked up, "He wanted to hurt Squirrelflight so badly he settled for her father..."

Hollyleaf alone realizes that he had black fur in his claws during his vigil later...

And she removes it.

She speaks to Sol about this and he tells her that it was surely an omen.

It means SHE is responsible in some way.

She agrees and adds,

"I'll do what has to be done, I will prove I'm worthy! I'll exact justice on everyone who needs it, this black-furred killer, Ashfur, and the one who broke the code and set these events into motion with my birth"

Sol: "this woman is crazy im in so much love i need to possess her right now"

An aside; How are her sibs feeling right now?

Lionblaze remains very close with Squirrelflight, getting more of the truth from her.

He's confused and upset, but, accepts that she did it to protect them and Leafpool... even though he doesn't Get It yet.

He will Get It soon though. That's a secret tool that will help us later. Just for now remember Lionblaze Doesn't Get It.

(Squilf is always his mom and he has no doubt about this)

Jayfeather really doesn't want to hear it, having independently worked out that the only other parent they could have is Leafpool.

(since this wouldn't be a Federal Fucking Issue if it was Cloudtail)

That evokes a lot of negative emotions. Mostly resentment and bitterness.

All this time his questions about why StarClan hates him could have made sense and they just didn't.

The Queen's Rights are an important part of their culture but... there's so many lies here.

It doesn't matter if he can logically "Understand" or whatever, he hates that response, "Oh it makes sense" no shut your stupid mouths this all sucks. "We were lied to and I've been fighting my whole life for reasons that were kept from me"

All this turmoil makes him start leaning on Poppyfrost, for comfort, for the rightness of their relationship.

He leans on her too hard and she got pregnant. OOPSIE JayFUMBLE.

But anyway back to the Hollyleaf

A few weeks later Ashfur tries to drag himself to justice.

He's been living on his own, missing his family, hoping to find mercy for being unsuccessful.

It wasn't a fight. It was a murder.

(This is important for TBC later, as Ashfur is allowed into Silverpelt over this while also making sure that StarClan isn't accidentally incompetent like canon)

BB!Ashfur is characterized as being a truly "loyal" warrior. He did care about his Clan above all else and that is why StarClan accepts him.

Though he DID carry extra anger in his heart for Squilf rejecting him for Brambleclaw, the theme of BB is that these elements of Clan Culture, the commitment to the code and the willingness to do anything to protect it, are destructive.

Note: In TBC many arcs later, BB!Ashfur does actually care about enforcing a strict interpretation of the Code, AND ALSO he wants to have Squilf. It's both.

Next on Hollyleaf's list; Leafpool.

SECRET REVEAL TIME

She does the big Gathering Reveal

Bramblestar IMMEDIATELY demotes Squirrelflight from her deputy role for covering this up, breaks up with her, and disowns his children.

Assures the gathering that there will be consequences for Leafpool, and promotes Thornclaw to deputyship on the spot.

Jayfeather is now the only Cleric of ThunderClan.

Breezepelt, who was tense but friendly with the Three, has declared them his enemies because Crowfeather CAVED IMMEDIATELY and admitted he loved Leafpool, embarrassing him in public AGAIN by making it clear he was not wanted

"They're the reason he treats me like this! They're disgusting! They shouldn't have been born! I thought they were my friends but they were actually part of my torment!"

ThunderClan IMMEDIATELY starts treating the Three differently, because they are halfclan and cleric children

Lionblaze suddenly understands what Squilf meant by, "I did it to protect my sister, but also to protect the three of you"

Remember that thing from before? He Gets It Now.

"Sometimes keeping secrets is Good Actually," concludes Lionblaze

Opinions are split about Squilf and Leafpool,

"Squilf was protected by the Queen’s Rights"

"Leafpool still broke the code tho"

"That should have stayed between her and StarClan, she did the right thing"

"That law is stupid anyway!"

"Uhhh no it's not? Brokenstar? Ripplestar? Leopardstar? Helloo??"

"Are you saying Squilf's kids are tyrants? What is wrong with you?"

"I'm saying you don't respect the code you heathen!"

"She still lied to Bramblestar and needs consequences!"

"A halfclan cat is a halfclan cat! It was revealed and we must deal with it!"

ThunderClan is fighting, basically.

Holly has her scene later of trying to get Leafpool to eat deathberries, like canon Leaf is a queen who's like, "...girl you can't hurt me more than I already am"

And this is the point where Poppyfrost realizes she is pregnant. They're Jayfeather's. He is the only Cleric in ThunderClan, Poppyfrost does not want to be a single mother, it's a mess.

So they contact Cinderheart and Lionblaze and ask for help. They agree-- but preparing for the arrival of the kittens means they'd need to start saying they're mates.

Cinderheart, the cat that Holly is actively interested in: "hey uh Hollyleaf I'm, uh, mates with your brother now?"

Hollyleaf:

"Youre McFuckinf What?"

Cindy, unable to keep a secret and not really being in love with Lionblaze, admits there are kits she needs to adopt. Hollyleaf does more deduction and jumps to the correct conclusion, Poppyfrost is pregnant because Jayfeather has violated his vow.

And she's going to do something about this.

Sol offers his services. Friendship ENDED with Harry; now HOLLYLEAF is my best friend.

Hollyleaf decides Jayfeather needs to be dealt with. He has disobeyed StarClan for the last time

As he slips into the Tunnels to communicate with Rock, she follows him, planning to kill him quietly

Lionblaze intercepts this, defending Jay.

"What happened to my sister?! Hollyleaf, this isn't you!"

"A black cat killed Firestar, and I've killed that black cat! Soon I will put an end to all enemies of the Warrior Code!"

"What does that MEAN"

The fighting destabilizes the tunnel, Lionblaze is able to push Jayfeather out just in time before the rockslide

Sol saves Hollyleaf's life by teleporting her 100 years into the past, so that she isn't killed by the collapse.

Lionblaze is a tank and rocks can't kill him, when the Clan digs him out, he's just bruised and unconscious

They never find Hollyleaf's body, or any remains at all. Not even blood.

The book ends with the birth of Ivykit and Dovekit, tension settling over the entire family, pain and mourning all at once.

Cinderheart admits she still loves her, and misses her with her whole heart. Lionblaze can't understand why it happened. Jayfeather is expressing his pain through anger. Poppyfrost wants to put this behind her as soon as possible.

UNBEKNOWNST TO THEM, Hollyleaf is with them right now! Here's how Hollyleaf BECOMES Fallen Leaves, causes the collapse of LionClan, LeopardClan, and TigerClan, and sets the events of DOTC into motion;

Hollyleaf's Century

I will state my intentions though, so you can see what I'm trying to do here;

The downfall of the three kinships MUST go back to Hollyleaf preventing them from mounting resistance by being focused on pointless bullshit. It must be her fault that they lost, by trying to rigidly force the code onto a completely different society.

Sol is the God of Autumn, of change, of rules, and of games.

Story opens up with the cave-in. Hollyleaf is going to be crushed.

So, instead, Sol changes the time around them. Holly does not know this, but he has dragged her over 100 years into the past.

She's found by a cat named Broken Shadow.

Broken Shadow nurses her back to health and adopts her, introducing her to the Shadow Family, teaching her the language, and introducing her to society, as a parent does.

She's with them for a few months, enough to learn Lakemew and become accepted.

The Lake Cats find her name strange, Hollyleaf, and start calling her Hollyleaf Shadow, but she insists instead it is Holly Leaves.

"Ah, we see we see :)"

The Lake at this point was almost completely forested, Holly used to think the Ancient Oak was special but... now she wonders if that's how big all trees are supposed to be.

There are three societies around the Lake. The Shadow Family belongs to the Tiger Kinship, there's also a Lion Kinship and a Leopard Kinship.

She gets introduced to Jay's Wing and Dove's Wing, twins from the Leopard Kinship, and their cousin Lion's Roar, who is the leader of the Lion Kinship.

Holly is uncomfortable about loyalty being split between borders.

However, these groups largely interact peacefully.

Jay's Wing is some sort of student of the tunnels, he worships an ancient god.

Holly Leaves is disturbed that they do not have a StarClan and have these... entities. Yes she has Sol but she doesn't WORSHIP him.

Everything Changed When the Victorians Attacked

Environmental destruction I'm still working out, you know what, I'm gonna mark this

(MIDDLE SECTION IS STILL UNDER A LOT OF CONSTRUCTION, THIS SECTION IS THE MOST SUBJECT TO CHANGE, THE POLITICS ARE FUZZY.)

First things first; the Lake is shrinking. The Leopard Kinship seeks help because they have less fishing territory.

Why? The river beyond what-is-now RiverClan territory is being forcefully tamed, straightened to flow fast through the town and for conversion into farmland.

This makes the water flow faster and spend less time in the Lake, both making the river itself more dangerous, damaging the northern wetland, and shrinking the Lake.

Leopard Kinship weakens but becomes more reliant on the other Kinships. This is normal for them.

Holly Leaves uses this moment to start gathering power. At first it's simple magic tricks, doing little bits of aid, using Sol's power.

She knows what the humans did to the Old... New... The Forest of her Forefathers. She knows she needs these cats to trust her.

It's for their own good, she says.

The quarry is set up in what is now ThunderClan's camp, in what was Tiger Kinship territory. It's likely a sandstone quarry specifically.

Slurry was dumped into the river between what-is-now ThunderClan and WindClan territory. This is before that gorge dried up.

Lake is slowly poisoned. Dust from the quarry degrades the nearby forest.

When the logging begins, Holly Leaves grabs authority, leading the Shadow Family and many cats of the Tiger Kinship into battle to take the Leopard Kinship.

They don't put up much of a fight, Jay and Dove try to calm their family down, assuring them that Holly is a vessel for a deity and likely has ancient knowledge.

"There needs to be some changes around here. This is all because you have no one in the Stars to protect you. But I'm here now-- I will save you."

At first it's battle training, but she starts making hard roles. Borders must be defended. There must be healers.

Lion Kinship can join them or be gone. That's the only territory not destroyed and they need the land.

Using the power vested in her by Sol, she starts leading attacks to bring all cats under her power so they can fight the humans.

To oppose her, Lion's Roar becomes quite vicious. He reminds her that he needs 13 sacrifices, and she's feeding them to him.

3 heroes; Three Seasonal Gods. Jay's Wing eventually undergoes a Tunnel Trial to earn Rock's Favor, and his twin Dove's Wing appeals to the benevolent god of Spring, Midnight.

(Insert political drama I'm still teasing out)

The important thing about this drama is that it MUST go back to Holly Leaves being obsessed with control and punishment, dedication to her code of ethics that don't matter to this society, devolving the Three Kinships into infighting.

Leopard Kinship probably makes some kind of break for freedom, which is when Jay and Dove eventually break with Holly

This infighting eventually leads to Jay's Wing's death.

Holly killed him in a fit of rage, somehow, this I know but I am still working out

She looks down at the cat who was her brother and becomes sick, realizing what she's done, what she tried to do in the past, and how she's gotten what she wanted

His god, Rock, is in absolute despair over this.

He takes the body and buries it outside of the tunnel where Jay's Wing completed his trial; the only patch of Old Forest left in the modern Lake Territories.

Dove's Wing is distraught. Lion's Roar is enraged. Holly Leaves' political power dissipates.

They insult her by calling her Folly Leaves. "Great job saving us all, Folly Leaves."

The Lake is destroyed, the forest is gone, except the patch where Jay's Wing was buried. Humans pass right by it, like they can't even see it.

There's nothing left.

Holly keeps trying to demand they stay, trying to force them to remain... and Dove Wing has to put her down, to save the survivors.

(AND NOW WE'RE BACK TO SOLID GROUND)

After this, Dove Wing renames herself to Half Moon. A broken half of a pair, to signify how she will never be whole again.

Half Moon goes on to found the tribe, and Folly Leaves is alone.

"At least I still have my god"

"I'm bored now Holly lmao have fun byee"

Sol kicks her spirit out of her own body, and returns to the future, expecting her to fade away over the course of the following century. He leaves her for dead, essentially.

Alone, in despair, and overwhelmed by guilt, Hollyleaf can only imagine her family for comfort.

Over the decades, she begins to forget her own name. Hollyleaf, Holly Leaves, Folly Leaves, Fallen Leaves... she can't remember which one was correct. Are any of them right?

She watches the Lake wither, to the point where even the humans can't live there.

And then... she watches it recover too. Slowly becoming the home of her childhood.

The whole time, she's waiting for her family to come home.

One day, with no warning, a young Squirrelpaw, Brambleclaw, and Crowfoot tumble into her hole.

She remembers an old story her mother taught her once, of a StarClan Warrior who passed on a prophecy that reunited them after they had been scattered.

"When the great storm brews, meet together where the dusk begins and the sun drowns."

She begins to remember things. And she remembers, SOL NEEDS TO BLEED.

Years later she FINALLY gets her chance. She sees her own body guiding a couple of apprentices into the tunnels, and leaps out of the shadows, catching her neck in her teeth.

Sol can't believe she's STILL HERE he expected her to DIE

TIME LOOP COMPLETE, Fallen Leaves has her body back.

After this, she declares that her name is Fallenleaf!

...probably because she doesn't remember it was actually Hollyleaf and she guessed wrong. But it stuck.

Aaaand one last segment!

OotS and Beyond

She has to re-acclimate to society after 100 years in a tunnel.

And... she has a lot of guilt looking at Jayfeather. Her brother, her ally, her enemy, her victim.

He wants his sister back, it's been a long and hard time without her. She can't unsee his dying eyes.

Cinderheart missed her more than anything, and Fallen missed her too. She reminds her of good times and simple lessons.

Fallen takes part in the Great Battle, but has to balance the angry, trapped god inside of her the whole time, preventing her from taking risks.

After the Great Battle and a near death, she gets with Cinderheart almost immediately.

Ivypool and Dovewing are IFFY about this-- their parents were never romantically involved but they've never seen their mother so happy.

That's pretty difficult, both for Dovewing who's filled with rage about Life In General and Ivypool who's, deep down, a huge people-pleaser.

(They are still not aware that Jayfeather and Poppyfrost are their bioparents, that's revealed in TBC.)

Cinder and Fallen raise a kitten together, Hollylark.

The kit was created when Fallenleaf's magic misfired during a sneeze, magically making Cinderheart pregnant. OOPS.

After the events of AVoS, Fallenleaf starts realizing how... out of place she is, here. She is loved, but she can't be a normal warrior responsibly with how strong she is.

Now that she realizes how small the politics of Clans are... these feel like games. Like something Sol would do. Is that true? Or is she just insecure

She knows nothing about herself, so she can't answer these questions.

The catalyst for her leaving is Hollylark's horrible, young death. She doesn't know if there's anything she could have done to prevent this.

So... she has to find out.

Fallenleaf leaves to go learn more about herself from Midnight. Cinderheart goes with her. Wherever she goes, she will follow.

[aughby]

Silent Echoes

You had known Yuki Ishikawa since you were little, long before he became the world-famous volleyball superstar. Back then, he was just Yuki—the neighborhood court volleyball fanatic, charismatic joker, and inspiration to everyone around him due to his unwavering perseverance. You had always been there to encourage him from the sidelines and to lend a hand when he needed it.

As time passed, your friendship with Yuki developed into something more, something you were too scared to admit to yourself. During your time together, in the late-night conversations, the way he would smile at you after a particularly challenging game, and the times when he would confide in you about things, you silently fell in love with him.

However much you loved him, you knew Yuki didn't see you that way. You were his best friend and the only person he could always count on. He never looked at you with the same intensity when he talked about volleyball or when he looked at the girls who would cheer him on after every game. Never more than his confidante and safe haven, you were.

You kept your feelings to yourself, choosing to gently support him rather than risk losing him entirely. You supported him in the stands and experienced a surge of pride as he advanced through the volleyball levels by attending as many of his games as you could. You were there for him, offering advice, a sympathetic ear, and unwavering belief in his abilities through all of his achievements and disappointments.

But the distance between you grew wider with each passing day. Even though Yuki traveled the world for his work and always had time to text or call, you could feel a subtle shift in your connection. You were simply a small part of his history, a memory he loved and no longer required, and he was becoming the kind of person that the whole world looked up to.

Then one day, everything was different.

After Yuki's successful season in Italy, you were eager to visit him because you wanted to relive the happy times.

You had planned a little get-together with your mutual friends, just to create a comfortable space where you could talk and laugh as you used to.

However, Yuki found himself not alone when he arrived. He'd brought someone with him, a girl whose grin brightened the room and whose eyes sparkled as she stared at him. Her name was Hana, and she was everything you weren't: stunning, confident, and obviously in love with Yuki.

From the sidelines, you watched Yuki and Hana's interactions throughout the evening, observing their mutual laughter and his way of staring at her. In those moments, you realized the truth—the unsaid fact you had been trying so hard to ignore for so long.

Yuki had found happiness in someone other than you.

You were overcome with the knowledge like a tidal wave, leaving you dumbfounded. You tried smiling, trying to hide the pain that was tearing you apart from the inside, but it was too much. You realized that the air was too heavy and the space was too small for you to stay there much longer.

You excused yourself, saying you'd needed a breath of fresh air, and slipped out into the cold night. The stars overhead shone, untouched by the agitation inside you. You were wandering aimlessly, thinking about everything from anger to grief to a deep, aching loneliness.

That marked the end of your long-held, unfulfilled love as well as your silent hope that one day he might change his opinion of you.

You were too distracted to realize Yuki was getting closer until he was standing just in front of you. "Are you okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing in concern. "You seemed unhappy when you were there."

You attempted to keep your composure and feigned a grin. "I'm fine; I just needed a little space to breathe."

He didn't bring up the subject, even though he didn't seem to be convinced, instead casting a thoughtful gaze at the stars and asking, "Have we not merely sat around like this for a long time now?"

Yes, you replied, your heart thumping at how easy it was.

He continued in a serious manner, "I missed it." "I missed you."

His remarks, in spite of his generosity, just exacerbated the pain. You wanted to tell him everything, to show him how much you loved him, to let him know how much you felt, to let out all the feelings you had been keeping for so long. But the words would not come out. You were too afraid of what they would alter and what they might finally bring about.

Rather, you suppressed your emotions and forced yourself to smile—a bittersweet grin that held a thousand unsaid messages. "Yuki, I missed you too."

He smiled back, and for a moment it felt like old times. But you knew that this time would pass, just as the hope you had held onto for so long would.

As the night wore out, Yuki eventually came back inside, leaving you by alone with your thoughts. The weight of your unfulfilled affection started to accumulate on your chest as you stood there in the quiet.

You knew what you were supposed to do. You needed to let go of the grip. The only way to move forward and find your own happiness was to say goodbye to Yuki and the life you had imagined with him.

In the ensuing weeks, you began to put some distance between us. You were there for him when he needed you, even though you consciously chose to prioritize your own life and goals. It was challenging because your heart's barriers against love appeared to crumble every time you saw him.

But you knew that was the right thing to do.

At last, Yuki realized what had changed. He asked if you two were still your old buddies and if everything was well. You reassured him, saying that nothing was wrong and that you were just busy with work.

He took your response, though you could tell he was still worried. But even that concern began to wane as his relationship with Hana grew closer and more committed over time.

One day Yuki called you, his voice full of eagerness. He told you he was going to ask Hana to marry him because he had finally found the one with whom he wanted to live out the rest of his days. He pleaded for your help and your blessing, as he usually did.

With your voice steadfast and your heart tearing into a million pieces, you handed it to him.

You said, "I'm happy for you, Yuki," and "Every happiness in the world is yours to have," even though it hurt.

"Thank you," he murmured, his tone softly full of gratitude. "Without you, I would not have made it this far."

When the call ended, you gave in to your tears and released all the tears you had been holding inside for so long. Even though it was the worst pain you had ever experienced, you knew you had to endure it.

Gradually, the pain faded and was replaced by a serene acceptance. It wasn't meant to be, even though you had given Yuki your entire being. It was your turn to find happiness now that he had found his.

You chose to focus on your own life and goals, so although your love for Yuki will always be a part of you, it no longer defined you. You acquired the capacity to deal with the fallout from that failed relationship and to cherish the memories without letting them define who you are.

As the years passed, you took solace in the knowing that you had loved, even though your sincere and profound affection was never returned in the way you had hoped for. Yuki was clearly happy, and that was sufficient.

In the end, you learned that your story need not finish there, despite the difficulty of experiencing unrequited love. It was only a chapter that molded the person you would become, a terrible yet beautiful one.

[crownrose789]

I had this dream after watching the music video and tried to get the dream straight on paper I hope everyone likes it I also posted it to the official Rare Americans reddit page but I made it a bit neater here

Dead Man's Hand

"Can you do card tricks? What about sleight of hand?" The cards tumbled onto the table out of Nicky's sleeves "Well, that answers that question" The ringmaster leaned back in his seat like a king on his throne "Tell me why should I let you work for me?" Karla shuffled behind Chaplin slipping out the back of the tent, Nicky's eyes zeroed in on her arm and the large finger shaped bruises...Nicky's jaw clenched tightly enough to where his teeth started to ache then he felt it.....again....smelt it...a touch of smoke and something else, something like flowers and the grave....he felt a hand thin and bony on his shoulder, here he looked at his own long thin hands and clenched them into fists....a voice he swore he knew whispered in that raspy voice that reminded him of bones grinding together "Don't let him push you around" and then he felt it that rush of power pure and unfiltered better than coke better than any drug rushed through him, he always felt like this during a fight like nothing and nobody could push him around. His head whipped up and he pinned Chaplin with his gaze "I'm a fast learner" here he swept up the deck of cards and started ruffling them between his hands like he'd been doing this for years....*he hadn't though Pockets had only taught him the fan and how to flip it in between his fingers*but this...well he belonged in Vegas with moves like these......The ringmaster barked out "You tricky shit" Nicky smirked...the cards he was still fluttering and fanning out, twisting and twirling in his hands murmured back "Crafty, Brittle Bones Nicky"

Nicky dropped them again. "You hear that?" Chaplin took a gulp of wine "Here what...?" "Nothing!" Nicky picked up a few cards and started juggling them, Chaplins smile grew wider and toothier the faster he tossed, Nicky imagined himself as a marionette, strings under his skin wrapped around his bones, someone was pulling his strings....his wrists had tendons weren't tendons just the body's strings...? Pull on them and you'd move even if you didn't want too....? Nicky shivered but covered it up with a deep overly showy bow fanning out the cards with a flourish. Chaplin stood up, clapping and booming out "Ha you're hired kid, but you're gonna need a stage name...how about Nick the Great?" Nicky flinched at the moniker, the shadows behind Chaplin twisted displeased as well Nicky stared past Chaplins shoulder watching as Chaplins shadow lengthened rippling pulling turning into almost like a skeletal man. "No? Nicholas, the Magnificent!" The shadows snapped and rolled in anger. Shiftys voice drifted out from memory, "Brittle Bones Nicky" the cards in his hand, (here Nicky peered closer at them he had picked up; the Dead Man's Hand wasn't that an omen) whispered *Crafty and tricky* "Brittle Bones Nicky that's my stage name" Nicky shuffled the Dead Man's Hand back into the pile of cards before tucking the deck into his jacket pocket. "The hell sorta names that it sounds like you gotta disease or something!" Chaplin groused, pressing at his (in Nickys opinion very stupid) pencil mustache, "No, no, you need a name that'll wow the crowd!" "It will wow them. Trust me, millions of people will dig me. I'll be a household name one day, believe me. " The ringmaster threw his hands up."Fine! Fine! Brittle Bones...stupid fucking name...people are gonna think you got like lupus or something...!" The weight of the grave and the smell of smoke and Brittle boney laughter trailed after them as the tent door flapped closed unheard by anyone but Nicky.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

Warning: Rant ahead. Do not read if you wanna avoid me venting about the wider RRverse fandom & their attitude toward the TOA fans.

Seriously. This is a vent post. Stay away if you don't wanna risk getting upset. I just need a place to get it off my chest. It's been stewing in my head for long enough and I usually feel better if I write it down/type it down somewhere. Makes my chest feel less tight.

Stay safe <3

"No one is treating you guys like outcasts!"

"With your annoying POV-"

"Everyone was so OOC-"

"Meg is such a Mary Sue-"

SHUT UP

SHUT UP

SHUT UP

THIS IS WHY I STICK TO THE TOA FANDOM.

THIS IS WHY I BARELY INTERACT WITH THE LARGER PJO FANDOM.

THIS IS WHY I GET ANXIOUS ABOUT SAYING I LIKE TOA ON A DIFFERENT PLATFORM THAN TUMBLR.

BECAUSE. OF. THIS.

Recently, I have left a comment on a Youtube video. All in all, it was basically just me listing off reasons why I liked TOA and - in hindsight - naively going "idk why people don't like it".

Top Ten things said before disaster.

The next day, I got two comments.

One was along the lines of-

"Don't care."

The other was-

"Jasper broke up and Jason died - it's not canon to me!"

...

Excuse me for having an opinion, I guess.

What sucks even more is that when a fellow TOA commented to me, the second guy ALSO responded to them with "yeah but PJO and HOO are still better maybe even MCGAA to"

Like what the fuck. who does this. who has the time????

people who don't have a life, i guess.

And then. and then this same person just Keeps Going when I replied. They said "TOA's an AU" and "It relies too heavily on cameos" and then turns around and says "this would have been better if *proceeds to give a list of cameos* were with Apollo instead of Meg"

like. URGHHHHH.

They. Complain. About. Every. Single. Thing.

Even Tristan McLean going broke. And wishing "something" had been done to "fix" it.

Like fixing something of that caliber would be easy. One of TOA's things is that it deals with Reality - and I get it, some people may not like that, especially for a fantasy series - but come on. You can't expect everything to be fine and dandy 24/7 about a series of GREEK MYTHOLOGY, THE CREATOR OF TRAGEDY.

Then they went on to say they hoped that if the show gets to HOO, they "fix" its ending so TOA doesn't happen.

...BRO HOO ONLY EXISTS FOR TOA TO SHINE. RICK'S FAVORITE CHARACTER TO WRITE IS APOLLO AND THAT'S A PILL YOU NEED TO SWALLOW.

they also went on to say that TOA is "example of a story that overstayed its welcome" and i'm just. GAHHHHHHHH *screams into pillows*

"we got new characters in PJO & HOO-"

Me: *can literally name off 27 new characters from TOA from the top of my head*

Them: You need to respect other people's opinions-!

Me: SAYS THE GUY WHO INVADED MY COMMENT??? WHO LITERALLY CALLED ME ANNOYING??? WHO'S COMPLAINING ABOUT A CHILDREN'S SERIES??? AND REFUSED TO AGREE TO DISAGREE WHEN I GAVE YOU THE OPTION???

Them: There's a reason why people don't like TOA. Can you guess? Because we didn't read the book? Nope i read all 5 and the reason is it's not as good as the others-

Me: bro that's not even a solid REASON-

The condensation on that last one really pissed me off.

What was especially baffling, however, was...

Them: I am pretty sure you have hidden opinions that make you like ToA, like maybe you are LGBTQ or LGBTQ Supporter-

WHAT. DOES. MY. SEXUALITY. HAVE. TO. DO. WITH. THIS.

THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

and as a matter of fact, what are they even implying here??? it just sounds like they're saying I must only like TOA because of the queer rep and I can tell you that reason is bullshit.

(I love the queer rep dw it's just not the #1 reason why i love TOA)

also here's a full list of the characters they said were 'OOC': Piper, Frank, Leo, Calypso, Hazel, & Reyna.

A few of these, I understand the confusion (but also disagree with) - but FRANK? FRANK ZHANG WAS OOC?

AT THIS POINT THEY'RE JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

(In another person's comment about loving TOA they also went "well there's no Percabeth in it-" OH MY GODS JUST STOP ALREADY.)

It was especially infuriating when I pointed out the hate the TOA fans in the comments experience, they replied with "Nobody's treating you like outcasts!"

TELL THAT TO EVERY TOA FAN WHO'S GOTTEN HATE!

TELL THAT TO ME WHO JUST GOT HATE FOR IT.

just. AJHGSFGH. people. some people.

I want to block them. But youtube has removed that feature (thanks a lot youtube).

I'll stick it out. I am point-blank telling them to drop it. We'll see how that goes.

just...people. Guess you still can't have an opinion, huh?

Jokes on them they merely fueled my stubborn fire. I only love TOA more now. The harder they argue, the tighter I cling.

Anyway. If you've stuck it out this far, thanks for listening. I just really needed to vent. It's been bugging me for a few days and ruining my mood every time I open up youtube.

No response is needed, btw - again, needed a place to vent.

ToA fans, you're the best <3 Love ya <3

[nonaddiction]

the death scene + how it looks in my head.

tw for death, drug abuse, overdose, exploitation. if you're here then you probably already know this, but i'd just like to remind you in case.

we're treading very carefully here because i know this is a topic that is deeply sensitive and relevant to me and many others that i am close to. the nature of this scene is troubling and traumatic; it's hard not to toe the line of exploitative and gratuitous, but i will make efforts to avoid that the best i can. at the same time, i think we are all owed a realistic portrayal of the subject matter because it should be acknowledged as horrific and not reduced to something more palatable.

this is only essential to the "canon" and is probably flexible to a lesser degree in the rp setting, but will always remain similar at its core, if not execution. but anyways. mostly just want to write this all down for myself, but i also like providing a visual reference for others. tone is very important to me with all writing and i think references can help project that specific tone better.

noah ripley dies on the night of december 28, 2003 in a downtown los angeles hotel room, but his body is not discovered until the next morning by cleaning staff. the room was not under his name, but belonged to an acquaintance of an acquaintance. he entered the room that evening after running into a group of friends (this word used very lightly because we know that noah doesn't really have any friends) and consumed heavy amounts of opioids, stimulants, and alcohol.

later in the night, noah began convulsing. his companions - some too intoxicated to recognize the situation - fled the room in a panic, leaving him alone in the room.

i'm going to get sidetracked for a second and talk about two movies that are very significant to me.

when i was in high school, i watched m.ysterious skin, which i won't describe in detail but became formative for how i view story, character perspective, and visual media. the final shot of the film focuses on the two lead characters as they process their grief. the room they're in is pitch black around them. it hovers over a wide shot of the subjects, slowly begins to pan out farther and farther, until the screen goes black.

this shot has stayed with me since i first watched it. ngl it's embedded in my head in a way that makes me feel insane, like it fucking haunts me. it was a movie i needed to watch to understand something important at the time and will always be highly regarded in my opinion, but i can also never watch it ever again. hope this helps.

in more recent years, i watched all of us st.rangers, which is film that focuses on similar themes of grief, identity, trauma, and loss of childhood. it also ends with a very similar shot (and i would also say a similar emotion) to the one in m.ysterious skin. pitch black screen, focused on its subjects, slowly panning out. i don't know if i was an intentional homage during production, but feels like a fitting one when comparing the themes.

this made me much less normal when i saw it just because i have this image embedded so deeply into the surface of my brain. anyways

the death scene, which i really hate, but have a clear image of in my head. i always imagine it as something similar. it's a medium shot of noah overhead as he convulses (i have the bridge of l.ykke li's carousel in my head as this plays out but i'll get to that later) and it pulls out slowly. wider and wider shots (we go into the song's outro) and eventually the frame is only black, enveloping the whole scene. credits rolls as i process it.

the song choice: i'm actually reluctant to say whether or not this would be a realistic choice for the scene because we kind of always wanted to use music that was period accurate (pre 2003) but this is the song that i hear when i imagine it currently so. i may come up with a period accurate alternative at some point, but not right now.

carousel's lyrics feel a bit reminiscent of the story. the repetitive cycle that noah lives through, chasing a feeling, instinct towards harm and the addiction to it. not just the addiction to substances, but to the temporary relief - both emotional and physical - and the constant search for it.

i think there are a lot of reasons noah dies in this story and i don't like the thought of it occurring simply to move plot forward or to bait an emotional response. he dies because he's stuck in a cycle that too many people around him enable - people who were responsible for him when he was young and were meant to teach him better - and his inability to cope with the loss of childhood. he doesn't know how to grow up. he dies because a lot of people with the same emotions as him do too. there's so many versions of that same story. and while maybe there is a lesson to be learned from it, i don't think that's necessarily the point. i think the point is that it did happen, it will happen over and over again, in both noah's world and our own. and we won't learn from it.

[heartbeatbookclub]

I absolutely adore all of your analysis so far, they are so indepth and it feels like you’re able to explain stuff that I’m only able to vaguely think in an abstract sense when it comes to ddlc and dhdhdj so so good

I do wanna say that for you mc analysis, there’s one thing missing. I’m someone who got into ddlc cause of plus so I have hyperfixated on all the lore. While the employees imply that Monika made MC, I don’t think that’s actually true based on what we know about Monika. If she could make a whole character then why couldn’t she make herself a route? Heck in one of her act 3 convos, she can barely change the music before saying “well I just break everything anyway”.

So I believe based on other emails, that it was Ive Laster who made MC since they were the one who wanted to make ddlc a game. In the first meeting notes, we are told that Ive tends to ramble a lot. But in the next one when MC is mentioned in a meeting, they are silent. Another thing is that in one of the ddlc plus trailers, ive is the name of the MC.

It could be said that Ive based it on the stuff in the control group, but the control group was made AFTER the main vm (That’s not how a science experiment should work but ya know, I don’t think they are smart). So really the control group is based on main game first. Honestly so much of the issue of the plus lore is how it’s so convoluted to get, but reading it all on the wiki helped me alot.

Plus seemed to add a new sense of horror to the og, the horror of knowledge that one plagued Monika is now plaguing the player as we have all this information but can do nothing to help them. I think the idea of MC being made by someone else adds this new layer to him along with this new layer of horror. But that’s more just my own thoughts on it that I thought you may find interesting along with all the lore from above.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day! Your post are great and I’ll make sure to keep up with coil more!

aw, thanks anon! i often find it difficult to find the exact way to explain what i'm thinking when i do analysis like i have on this blog, so i'm glad i can at least help to put it into words for other people who have even more trouble with it than i do.

as for the rest of your statement...i think you make a compelling point. full disclaimer; a lot of my knowledge on what's presented in + outside of the full text of the side stories is secondhand, and when talking about the original game, i think it's important to keep in mind that my reference for most of this is my playthrough with my friends back in like...2017-18ish a little after the game came out...? aheh, i won't lie, though i am rather obsessive in the course of scouring information i remember via the wiki/elsewhere to verify i'm not just making it up, putting off my replay of the og game has not been helpful for me.

i think it's very much up in the air as to how much influence that Monika actually has over the game, which is something i talked about in my analysis of Natsuki in the Side Stories. in my opinion, what + demonstrates more than anything is that in whatever she DID do in the main game, she mostly worked with material that was already there to make things easier on her. one of the things i based that claim on was the reference of the Protagonist in the Side Stories, but it's not a necessary claim, and in fact, i think you do make a good point in how it's unlikely that she'd be able to do this (at the very least, by herself) based on what's been shown of her ability in the game.

i think, in regards to your comment on the reference to MC in the Side Stories, it's important to consider the wider conceit of DDLC--i have a deeper analysis i'm tinkering around with on terms of it as an exploration of fiction vs the concept within the "universe", but that's another story--namely, all of the girls aren't (or at least, are heavily implied not to be) just static fictional characters following a pre-written script, they're genuine artificial intelligence!

this is part of what i meant when i said that the Side Stories demonstrate the raw character of each of the girls independently of any 4th wall shenanigans--within the world of Doki Doki Literature Club, they're essentially just people living in the confines of a computer, and therefore have essential, largely immutable character traits which exist within some fundamental essence of what makes them who they are. i think there are a shitload of really, really terrifying things this opens the door to if you really think about its nature (independently of DDLC, i've personally had longform discussions with a friend about the morality and potential horrors which would exist within a similar universe concept, and it's somewhat ubiquitous in a lot of sci-fi universes), but like i said, that's a different discussion entirely!

what i'm trying to suggest here is that it's likely that Sayori's relationship to the Protagonist is something inherent to her character, so it doesn't necessarily have to be something gleaned entirely from the Side Stories.

of course, this is all post hoc reasoning with what we're given! occam's razor suggests that it's actually just likely that (given that DDLC was written and released a long while prior to the Side Stories) they didn't necessarily plan every part of this from the outset, so some things just naturally seem to fit together a little weirdly, with little details added here and there just for flavor! i think that given the nature of the entire thing (and how Dan Salvato has talked about DDLC and the statements he's given with about in universe details in the past), it's unlikely that every single element of this was planned out from the word go.

this might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but there's a lot about how + handles the lore of ddlc that i didn't really like, just because it adds a whole new layer of lore and context, which soured a lot of my impressions, because the original game really flourished in its simplicity. that said, with all that's been given in the Side Stories and the deeper layers to the actual horror which are now visible in the original game, i think it pretty well makes up for it!

awa, i didn't plan for this to become an entire essay in itself...but i do appreciate this kind of thing! i really like digging deep into what's explicitly provided in canon to get a deeper understanding of the characters and universe as it's actually been shown, so any encouragement and correspondence related to either my analysis or my opinions in general are welcome! honestly, i'm also welcome to read others' analysis like this, because i like to see when people read deep into it like i do! typically it ends up reshaping how i see the entire thing, and it sorta just makes my heart happy to get people thinking about this stuff!

i think, as a last thought, if MC is actually conscious in any way similar to the other girls (which I think is a definite possibility, given his ability to respond in contexts impacted by Monika's manipulation, even if barebones), it actually makes him a very interesting character in his simplicity. i know that Dan Salvato doesn't see him as one, but i think it'd make for an interesting study in a fanfic or something.

i hope you also have a good day anon (even though it's 2 am here as i'm writing this...) and you BETTER KEEP UP W/IT I PUT MY HEART N SOUUL INTO THAT BABY (/lh /hj i'm just glad other people are liking it, even if it's just silent kudos :))

[wishbonegame]

Hi I have more misc questions:

Who are your favorite characters?

How many quests are in the game? Can you get to them all in one playthrough, or do you have to do multiple playthroughs?

What's Nikki's favorite dog breed?

What is the name of Tobias' cat?

Has Tobias always been this cranky?

And finally: how are all the adult characters so attractive??

Ooh, these are some fun ones!

Regarding favorites: It's honestly hard to say what my own favorite is at this point! I've been working on the game so long that my interest has cooled somewhat on some of my original favorites, and some characters who I had initially conceived of as "just filling an NPC role" wound up being a lot more fun than expected.

Sheriff Pilgrim was my original favorite (especially when he's interacting with Jack!) and I do still enjoy him, but I've found I enjoy writing for Sonny and Vincent quite a bit, too. Mike is also fun... and Morgan... and a bunch of others, depending on what mood I'm in. Our main writer @kwillow enjoys Mayor North and Em.

One of the nice things about Wishbone is that we have a similar writing approach to Bioware RPGs, where each character is somebody's baby. To make writing practical, we do have to write for whatever character needs writing for sometimes, but we do also have someone who's sort of the "captain" of each character (or at least major characters).

Regarding quests: The final quest count won't be known until later in development, but I've "stubbed out" quest log code for all planned quests so far, and the end of the quest log looks like this:

There are roughly 40 quests of various types fully implemented right now, so a bit less than half of planned quests have been implemented! That 109 number covers all the character quests, story quests, and other major quests, but I might add a few very small quests to add interest to slower portions of the game. It'll depend on how playtesting goes!

You won't be able to do every quest in a single playthrough because the story does split into Outlaw path and Lawful path eventually. Once you've made certain pivotal story choices, some characters will consider you to be on the enemy team and will no longer be willing to trust you (or, possibly, even talk to you at all!), and some story moments will force you to pick one of two characters to work with.

So you'll need a minimum of two playthroughs to do everything! Certain quests might also have more than one ending, depending on how you solve the task and who you work with. The game might not be as branchy as Fallout New Vegas or Baldur's Gate 3, but it is pretty dense!

Regarding Nikki's dog opinions:

She likes all dogs, really! She can go on at length about the pros and cons and various uses and quirks of any breed. She also thinks mutts are interesting. But she is most interested in "wilder" looking breeds, like her cattledog, Sirius!

Regarding Tobias's cat:

His name is Mr. Grumpus. Like his owner, he has permanent Resting Surly Cowboy face. He can often be found sleeping on the counter in the general store or wandering around town, though most townspeople know better than to bug him. He's not the friendliest to strangers!

Regarding Tobias's crankiness: He was always serious and standoffish and never the most popular or sociable person. However, it seems that he's gotten more sullen and gloomy since his mother's health started declining and he had to take over managing his family's general store. Being a cashier isn't really the life he dreamed of, and the stress of his family situation is getting to him. But maybe there's hope for things to improve...?

Regarding the characters being attractive: Ah, I'm glad you like 'em! I (and everyone else working on the project) love to design eccentrics and oddballs. I worry sometimes that we've gone too far catering to our own interests, rather than making something a wider audience would enjoy, so it's great to hear that they have appeal beyond our little niche! They're certainly not your typical "romanceable NPC" lineup, but we do hope that they find their target audience of people who want something more unconventional. :)

[mrderbird]

Casca and/or Zodd for the character opinion bingo

i did casca!

oh casca. she's so underrated for how fucked up she can be. she's not as fucked up as guts or griffith but like. the way she blames guts for everything griffith does wrong to the point of physically attacking him, preaches at guts about how griffith isn't a god when she herself absolutely treats him like one, her jealousy even after her and guts get together, the way she takes it upon herself to speak for griffith, sometimes within earshot of him. she's not the token girl who has all her shit together and has to babysit the boys, she has to wait her turn to use the braincell just like the other two. she's part of the shitshow too yknow. i wish ""elaine"" didn't exist because it would've been interesting to genuinely explore HER trauma and feelings about the eclipse considering she's the one that was...yknow, actually victimized. i hate that the wider fanbase just treats her as guts' trophy gf, not that the story itself treats her any different at this point. i'm afraid the moonbaby ruined/will ruin her character even more by taking precedence over her history with the other, already established characters. i hoped we would get to explore more of her relationship with the new cast now that she has her memories back but considering last we saw her she got snatched by griffith and according to miura before he died the plan was apparently to have the rpg group split up anyway, probably not gonna happen :(

a completely off-the-wall headcanon i have for her is that casca isn't her birth name. she dropped her given name considering what her family did to her and took up a traditionally masculine name to suit her role as a soldier/mercenary. i mean i wouldn't try to apply that to canon but i'd include it in a fic if i wrote one

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I'm here for a third time, Laura! Hope I'm not a bother. 😅 I just really like reading your thoughts and seeing your content.

But! This time, I'm here to ask for a oneshot from Option #1 of your anniversary event. Could I get an order of Josele x Morgen gin&tonic (hurt-comfort) set at a party/ball, with a side order of reminiscing (maybe thinking about their first date or dance together)?

Hiya Erika~!! ^^

Of course you're not a bother!! I love having you around. And I hope you find this to do justice for Morgsele. Pairing: Morgen x Josele; Morgsele Prompt: Gin&Tonic (hurt-comfort) at a party with a dance and reminiscing their first date, which ends with a kiss Fanfic type: Oneshot Length: ~1.5k Warnings: umm... angsty? Does that count?

Evening. Dark in every other aspect but the slowly disappearing sun in the horizon and the lights of the Grey Deer headquarters. A little ball, or at least a party, to which Morgen had asked Josele to accompany him. Though perhaps someone might have argued that it was only expected that she would have joined him, Morgen had still thought it to be only right to properly request her presence. Which she had of course accepted without a doubt.

She was wearing a light grey dress with an asymmetrical hem, going all the way to the floor on one side, and staying right below the knee on the other. The surface was light, composed of large ruffles, over which there was a mesh that glittered in any light they passed, much like a starry sky.

He, on the other hand, was wearing a formal outfit. A jacket, white, of course, light grey vest that tinted a bit towards blue under it, and a white dress shirt and pants. It was all a tad bit more structured and stiff than what he preferred, but it was a formal event. And one simply couldn’t go about such a rare event in everyday clothes, granted that there were more than enough opportunities for balls and parties for nobles.

But this seemed more special. Because this was one among the knights. The people he spent a lot of time with, unlike the nobles he knew barely by name.

Though, the knights, would perhaps been more accepting in him wearing something more casual, since they were his friends and knew him. But still, he wanted to look the part.

Look the part of a man, who deserved to be with someone like Josele.

Everyone should see how wonderful she truly is, he thought as he led her through the dance floor that evening. And surely they do. They’d be blind, if they didn’t.

He closed his eyes in a slow blink, smiling like he usually did, in his opinion at least. But as she saw Josele give him a curious smirk, he knew that the smile must’ve been wider, or perhaps just ‘more radiant’.

‘More radiant’… it’s only because it’s your light, reflected off of me… he thought with yet another tender, slightly amused manner, but only amused in its utter happiness. Truly I am… a lucky man…how did I ever manage to gain the permission to walk by you?

There was a pause, just a brief one, until he felt her hand on his cheek. “Momo… is everything okay?” She asked with a whisper, making him chuckle, although with a hint of melancholy in it still, despite the way the corner of his mouth tugged up.

She really does notice… and it’s not just because of her magic… Or rather, it’s because the magic she possesses in herself, not just her affinity. The magic that’s more than magic, more than mana.

“Yes, my heart, everything is alright,” he told her, while taking a hold of hand and bringing it to his lips to press a gentle kiss to the back of it.

“Are you certain?” She still inquired with a curious, and worry laced, expression.

“Yes,” he replied, but with less confidence this time. “But… let’s go, for a bit, to somewhere more secluded.” He tugged along away from the dancefloor, away from prying eyes, but in the movement there was still the gentlemanly grace that allowed them to slip by without notice. It was as if they would have flowed through the space with such grace and ease that it seemed only natural. As if thieves in the night.

And so, he led her down the corridors, away from the ballroom and into the garden, lit by nothing more than the moon, the stars, and a few lanterns here and there.

“So, will you tell me what’s wrong?” She asked while holding his hand; gripping it gently, to let him know that she was there.

“I…” he replied, half sighed, “I was honest when I said that nothing is wrong. But I am…perhaps a bit sombre.”

“Oh?” She uttered. “About?” There was curiosity in her tone this time, a bit brighter than a moment before.

“About… the passage of time, I suppose,” he replied as they continued to walk through the garden. “It seems like it was only yesterday that I took you out on our first date,” he smiled, but it was a smile filled with gentle melancholy. “I was quite nervous, despite us having known for years,” he admitted, laughed even a little bit.

“So was I,” she admitted as her gaze fell to the ground for a passing moment as they walked, but there was a smile on her lips. “Because it wasn’t … just us as friends anymore then, it was us as a couple.”

He hummed in agreement. “It was us as… what I hoped would become us as a couple,” he corrected her with a hint of amusement.

“You hoped?” She quirked an eyebrow. “And I thought that I was considered as the undeserving one, you being noble and all,” she joked, with a hint of truth in it.

“To the blind,” he replied. “That’s the thing about you Josele,” it had been so long since he had called her by her, entire, given name, instead of a nickname. “You’re so… humble and modest that you don’t see your own greatness and light.” He thought out loud, and a part of her wanted to banter, to make a joke, but … the way Morgen said it, the way his words held quiet sombre, filled with certainty, that she decided to stay quiet. “I am lucky, to have you by my side,” he said, stopping, but keeping his hold of her hand, and gently guiding her to face him. “And, at times I… don’t think you quite realize how much you mean to me, quite know just how… great you are, which I suppose is a mere reflection of my shortcomings in making you see it,” there was an attempt of a joke in there, but Josele, even after all the years of knowing him, wasn’t quite sure how to reply to him, in that moment, in that dimply lit garden, in the barely escaped light of the world in which he was her light, and she was his.

“Momo I…”

“I was terrified,” he told her, “on the day we had out first date,” he admitted. “Because there was no going back from it. It was the, very much a, do or die moment. For from that moment on, being simply friends wasn’t an option, and I wished and hoped and pleaded for this future with all my heart and soul and I…” he swayed his head, from side to side, and looked her in the eye… But words… they seemed to fail him. “And now… we’re here.”

The way he said ‘here’, made it seem like the present, the ‘now’ was concrete. In a way that she was aware of it. Right here and now.

“That day seems like it was both, an eternity ago, and only yesterday.” He continued, not sure where he was going.

“And… now?” She asked with a whisper, not quite sure what she had meant with it either. But somehow it had seemed like a sensible question. After all, they were there. Right there. In that moment. But something had to succeed that moment. Something needed to come after it.

One doesn’t just jump from the edge of the pier and stay in mid-air. Something happens, afterwards.

“And now… we see,” he said, while squeezing her hands. “I’m not… sure, where our journey ends us, but... with you, I'm sure that I’ll be happy with whatever fate has instore for us,” he smiled to her. And in that smile radiated nothing but confidence. Because he was sure, that he’d be happy with her. She was his heart, his light in the world, the light of a Light Mage.

He was sure, that he’d be happy with her, on their common journey.

“I love you, Josele. I have, for a long, long time, and I will love you, until my breath is only with the wind, my bones are embraced by the roots, and when flowers will bloom from my grave, and even beyond that. I am, happy,” he told her. “And I am the luckiest man on earth, to have you,” he added.

And she was left speechless. Only a tear of joy rolled down her cheek as a reply before she leaned in for a kiss, and he followed the movement. All the way until their lips met in a tender, secure kiss in a world that held hope of a bright future for them.

[spockandawe]

Okay, you know what, I think I'm going to do an impassioned rant on behalf of romance. This isn't a super fresh idea, I've seen much more knowledgeable people than me advocate hard on romance's behalf for years and years, I know people are still actively fighting to get this megagenre the recognition it deserves instead of being brushed off as Literature Lite. But I do want to come at this from the perspective of someone who just doesn't... super jive with the genre. I respect it a lot, romance writers intimidate the hell out of me, and now I have found some books and subgenres that I do enjoy, but that's only been the last year or so.

(I gravitate to sf/f and like a good romantic element, but I'm most happy when it's in support of a bigger plot. The gay lovecraftian historical has background stakes of horrors beyond mortal comprehension, the a/b/o shifter polycule has stakes of slow species extinction, I have more intriguing books marked to read as well. And of course, there's more monsterfucking than I used to imagine, and I am ALWAYS down for imaginative anatomy in my smut)

With a readmore, in case tumblr doesn't auto-shorten right

And what got me thinking about this was the goodreads awards, and the deeply unsurprising win by SJM. I don't like her writing, just 'females' alone is close to a hard no for me, and while I understand the broad appeal of her books, I'm confused and frustrated by the... intensity of their popularity, and I was talking with someone in my book club about it, who feels similarly. My very, very uncharitable knee-jerk take was that there's a lot of young adults who want to read about sex, and don't realize that the romance and fanfic communities have already done it better.

That's not fair of me, to be clear! I am also a person who chooses sf/f-with-romance-subplot over a sf/f romance book. I might find her worldbuilding choices trite, but I'll still mumble at length over how the belgariad and mallorean are actually a lot of fun if you give them a chance. 'Alphahole' might make me emit pterodactyl shrieks of irritation, but so do most of the names in goblin emperor, and I have lots of friends who very much enjoy that book. I stand by my opinions, but my personal tastes are not an objective measure of quality or enjoyability.

And, because I think it has to be said, I think there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with people wanting to read about sex. Nothing. The growing puritanism of the wider internet is extremely alarming to me, and I have no patience with it. I think my archives make it plenty clear that I'm down with smut, I only started writing period because I wanted more atla:lok kink than I was finding, and my archives used to make it very clear that I was equally down for sexy art. I'm terminally online, immersed in fandom, one of the fics I've worked with most for bookbinding (and have plans for in the future) is a space clown bdsm xeno epic. Plenty of sex to be found on ao3 and I just said I don't read much romance. So what gives?

Smash cut to podcasts. I listen to podcasts. And I've tried many times over to find a fandom podcast I jive with. I haven't yet, and I don't think that's the fault of the podcasters. I've got high hopes for the hs reading podcast, for example. But I also remember the first time I realized transformers podcasts were a thing (circa mtmte 47), and opened up an older episode to find the hosts (circa mtmte 13) having an earnest discussion about how rewind might have been attached to dominus ambus, but it seems like maybe dominus ambus owned him, and rewind cared for him as a good master. When the episode was recorded, the comics weren't overtly gay yet, there was no reason to believe they'd be given the thumbs up to GET gay, but it still made my skin crawl to hear about this couple that I knew were husbands, and the podcasters chatting about how one probably owned the other, and I noped out and never went back.

That was a running theme, to my frustration! When podcasts talk about characterization for stories I know, I've got strong opinions. I either have conversations about those with a carefully curated group of friends, or i place opinions forth into the void on here without expecting or particularly wanting conversation about it. And the written word moves faster than spoken, I can read a 15 hour audiobook in less than a day, the time sink of bad tumblr takes versus bad podcast takes is very different. And. Even worse. Sometimes fandom podcasts wade into DISCOURSE. I don't want this. I have a nicely pruned dash, I scroll quickly, and still I could use less discourse. I still get flashbacks to the transformers barbarian au debacle. I really don't want this.

I did realize, eventually, that fandom podcasts were just not working for me. I was tense waiting for discourse and ready to fight the empty air about bad characterization or analysis. But even worse than that, a lot of the time I was bored, I didn't want to hear a detailed critical breakdown of hp when my ancient interest has faded to dying embers. I've never cared about spn or dr who. I want to get into the podcast about shipping dynamics, but it's hard to get excited when I know that I'm just not INTO a lot of the big megaliths that people will rave about. Or, I'm interested in something and haven't consumed yet (ofmd) and I'm staring down the barrel of spoilers for a story I want to experience. But I want to HEAR people discuss what makes the farmers look at the story fields and say 'yep, should be a good crop of praise kink this year'

Frustrating!!! Anyways, back to romance. Romance podcasts.

Because you know what? I can get a LOT of that same content, about character dynamics and interactions and smoking hot sex scenes, and I can get it all delivered with the same fannish delight and enthusiasm it just comes with slightly different packaging than I experience myself online. I forget what pointed me at fated mates (and many of their trailblazer episodes are eye-opening, especially when they interview some gay and lesbian romance pioneers), which was nice, but I started subscribing to podcasts they recommended, and found a HOME with bonkers romance.

I'd been kind of feeling this in the back of my head, that the way these people scream over stories together was very identifiable, but something didn't quite CLICK until bonkers romance that this is really parallel (or divergent?) evolution. Just on behalf of sexism, I was already outraged over the broad dismissal of romance. But then I hear the hosts losing their minds over an absolute batshit story, like, idk, the spidertaur alien and the human who crash-landed on his planst, and how he's trying take care of her and she's not quite REALIZING that yet-- These are, very much, my people! There's a historical romance where a widow is trying to get Ruined to avoid a new marriage and shyly confesses to her new sex-club-owning beau that she's always wanted to kiss a woman, and he arranges a scene where she does that! The hosts go nuts as much as I do! This novel is a bdsm awakening sans impact play but with HEAVY praise kink tied into low self-worth! This one is about a nice young man and his boyfriend, the terrifying smoke monster!

I did decide to wander over and rant about this at length when they were discussing one of the 365 days movies (glorious? sexy? delightful? yes, apparently. good? ehhhhhh) and had a side tangent about how romance novels were so formative and how Stories With Sex were important to them as they grew up, and trying to GET them in a pre-internet age. They're at least 10ish years older than me, I think, I was split between internet awakening and novels (mccaffrey, auel). And the discussion was so familiar, about how fiction is a space for young folks to be introduced to some of these ideas and work through them on their own terms, I won't rehash it, we've all seen it before. And THEN there was further discussion about how the 365 days story has set things up so that a happy, satisfying ending would have to be a triad, right? They doubt it's going there, m/m/f is a long shot for Manly Mafia Men, but the conversational beats are exactly what I live for.

And, looping back in the fandom podcast thing again, I'm getting all this without character analysis I disagree with, I'm getting it without the fandom disk horse beats that I dread, and I'm getting it without spoilers for stories I want to consume. On the occasions a story intro has intrigued me enough to read ('as if', 'unhallowed', 'manix'), I've jumped to the next episode until I can consume it, and that has gotten me reading romance for the first time ever, and shocker, I enjoyed it! I don't think it'll ever be my primary genre, but my tastes are pretty established, and it hit those notes. I am having a FANTASTIC TIME, and I can relate to these people going nuts over X romance book perhaps better than I can relate to people going nuts over, idk, supernatural

This is too long but I'm too deep to stop now! If anyone reads this far, I'm sure to some of you, I'm preaching to the choir. I know there are fandom people who read romance already. But I want to wave this vaguely at people who are uninterested in romance, or who think there's a hard and fast line between fanfic romance and ofic romance. I've already read queer ofic a/b/o and monsterfucking and polycules, and I've barely scratched the surface. I think it is good for people to read both fanfic and ofic, but it's not my job to be the reading police (my solution: be too distracted to read either one), but even without reading, I think it's a worthwhile community to absorb, and to observe. I'll listen to a youtuber dissect a video game I'll never play for hours, and bask in new knowledge acquired. This is very similar, but even more aligned with my own creative/consumptive preferences, and I think more people should try it. I would come up with a strong concluding sentence but my awareness that this is too long has tripped over into profound self-consciousness so okay we're done, bye now, hahaha

[writerssoul46]

The Christmas lovebirds

I walked through the dimly lighted streets, the cold with breeze hitting my face. It was a colder evening than usual, but i walked to my usual spot at a café. As the time passed by, I finally reached the café. As I entered, I heard somebody call my name.

'Victoria! Glad to see you again.' That was my best friend Elijah. She was always happy and cheerful. I don't even know how she kept being like this. Everybody calls me "Depressed" or something. Maybe because I tend to not smile a lot. I don't feel emotion anyways.

'Hey' I answer, putting my things on to a chair next to a table that i found next to the window.

'What can i get for you today? You seem really under the weather today.' She spoke, as I sat down looking through the window staring in to the small snowflakes falling from the sky.

'Just a coffee.' I respond, still not making eye contact. I don't know why I just usually tend to stare and zone out. As she left to go make the coffee, I turn to look at the interior of the café. It was a beautiful café with the Christmas lights hanging on the front door of the café, it had two stories, and like dozens of book shelves. Honestly I loved coming here Everyday.

A while later there was a other customer coming in, as I lifted my head from my sketchbook, I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. Brown wavy hair, ember eyes, and she was wearing the prettiest scarf. As she came in, I widen my eyes a little, but quickly turning away. But I couldn't resist taking a quick glimpse of her. As she was talking with the workers, I admired her from afar. Before I knew it, she had turned back and saw me staring at her. I quickly composed myself, mumbling a quick "sorry" even though she wouldn't hear it. But strangely she smiled, and walked off to a table right next to me. As I started to compose myself from not looking like a tomato, Elijah came back.

'Hey girl, here I brought- whoa' Elijah stopped her face a little confused, but her expression quickly turned in to a smirk.

'Whos got you blushing like that?' She spoke, teasing playfully.

I quickly cover my face.

'W-what?'

Elijah's smirk got wider as she continued.

'You look like a tomato' She chuckled, putting one hand on her hip.

I grumble, composing myself. This feeling was fucking strange, and someone seeing me like this? Even worse in my opinion. I looked at Elijah, still having that smug face.

'You're pissing me off way too much.' I answered.

'I love you too!' She chuckled, while walking back to work.

I sigh deeply looking out of the window again, until i heard somebody speak to me.

'I'm guessing you're not a talkative person are you?'

I turn around to see the beautiful girl from before. She turned to face me and reached out for a handshake.

'Ashley. nice to meet you.' She smiled.

I swear her smile meted me from the inside. I reached to shake her hand, her skin was soft and gentle. Gosh it was so amazing.

(Creators note)

unfortunately I cant continue for now:( But i hope you like it!

Want a continued story about them?

Have a good day!

'

'

[maximuswolf]

How do you go about getting into an artist?

How do you go about getting into an artist? I've recently been going through the rym top 100 to discover a wider range than whatever spotify serves me, and also have done a few full discography listens- namely of radiohead, pink floyd, CAN, aphex twin, the beatles, kanye and a few others.However, sometimes a full discography can take a long time to get going, e.g. im not a huge fan of 60s floyd, and seeing a lot of postive reviews for those early albums didnt really fill me with hope for the rest of the discog - what kept me going was the coming albums id heard that i knew were good, and irl opinions from fans. In this instance it seemed a better idea to listen to the really acclaimed ones first and then fill in the gaps of lesser known ones later.But then there's artists like Swans or Bob Dylan, where the albums in the top 100 are clearly fan favourites that you could get a lot out of, but its a difficult place to start at, as their style is already quite individual.So how would you go about this? Does it vary from artist to artist? (also i dont mean any hate towards swans or Bob Dylan by saying this, I've gotten whole comment sections just being lectured on why im an idiot because i've mentioned I don't like a certain artist so I'm just making it clear here) Submitted September 01, 2024 at 08:02AM by Terrible-Choice3706 https://ift.tt/jlEwRDI via /r/Music