#but I'm happy with a hard back and two volumes in one book

[backinmyphase]

Not your letter

Synopsis: Gojo Satoru wouldn't call himself a very anxious man. But now as he hears cries every night, he can't help but worry- about his darling wife.

Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.

Pairing: Gojo x reader, 3300 words

Series masterlist

Contains: arranged marriage, generational trauma, jujutsu clans and higher ups

I'm sooo tired, but I hope you enjoy! I'm really happy you all seem so sincerely to enjoy it. Like always your comments make my day <333

Gojo Satoru liked spending money far too much.

After the last few days, this became clear very quickly. Yes, he was rich. But the way things were going this week, probably not for long.

He probably wouldn't even read every book that was on the bedside table.

Every morning he was awake before you and explored the town the two of you visited. When you were awake he took you out of the little charming hotel and showed you what he discovered.

You wouldn't see any problem in it if he didn't always had his credit card ready, the moment you looked at something.

And the two of you didn't need that many souvenirs either. But at the same time, it was hard for you to tell him not to use his money.

And now, too. As you walked through the small village. You knew what was coming when you passed a small café.

His eyes grew wide behind his sunglasses and a smile stole itself onto his face.

"Would you fancy something sweet?"

Not really. But he smiled in a way that made you feel sorry for taking the wind out of his sails.

So naturally, you left with three bags of sweet pastries.

Your mother would wring your neck. You could hear her lessons. 'You should bake something for your husband instead of letting him buy it!

"Don't you want something?"

Satoru looked at you with a bitten cupcake in his hand and some icing on his cheek. At the same time, he held out a new cupcake to you.

Of course, you didn't just take it because of his smile.

"Thank you." carefully you took a bite, trying to not look messy while you eat.

As you looked over to Satoru, you saw how he swallowed the rest of the cupcake in one go. You couldn't help but smile as you saw him chew way too much at the same time.

"Satoru, you have no manners." It was refreshing.

He gasped. "Am I now not even allowed to eat normally in front of my wife? What has the world come to?" Dramatically he held onto his chest.

His eyes shut and head tilted a bit back, he expressed his 'hurt' so playfully you couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh Satoru, if that's how you eat normally, I'm really concerned for your stomach."

As you saw how shooked he looked at you, you regretted saying anything. But then he grinned at you and leaned a bit forward.

"Did I just see my darling wife laugh?"

"It's not like I never laugh." you muttered as you started to eat again, hiding your embarrassment behind the pink, sprinkled, icing of the cupcake.

"Well, never before in front of me."

"Nonsense." you shook your head, while making sure your face was clean.

"It's true." he took another cupcake. "You should do it more."

The warmth that shot into your face was now a regular visitor. Something had changed. His presence made you jumpy, your heart was suddenly working overtime.

And your head. Oh, your head.

The thoughts that crept into it became more and more jumbled. Every time your looks crossed paths you couldn't help but spiral in a trail of thoughts, that made you feel dizzy.

You were truly sick. But it didn't feel bad.

A scream shattered the relaxed atmosphere. Your stomach turned when you saw a woman with a baby behind Satoru.

The baby was thrashing around, his voice continuing to tear the air and his cheeks red from the water running down.

The baby clutched the woman's hand, crying desperately.

"Are you okay?"

You quickly turned your head away to hide the rising panic. "Yes, I'm just tired."

His look spoke volumes. Always being tired was probably not the best sign.

"Then let's go back." He stood up, the food tucked away carefully.

"It's alright. It's not too bad."

He shook his head. "You look like I'm forcing you to go out everytime. I don't want that."

Defeated, you also stood up slowly and trotted behind him. You really wanted to enjoy your trip away, and get to know Satoru. But the words of the higher-ups were like a pest, constantly reminding you that your duty wasn't getting to know him.

It was having a heir.

"I'm sorry." your voice was hoarse, embarrassingly quiet. "I'm always in the way."

He laughed, while slowing down, to adjust to your speed. "What do you mean?"

"I'm always breaking of our time." you shook your head. "We barely get to do something."

"Oh please." he chuckled. "We have still plenty of time. We are just three days away. And it's not a problem, I still get to know you."

He looked at you again, his sunglasses barely covering his skylike eyes. "And I know." He smiled at you. "That you are not sleeping very well. Or that you are very exhausted. Maybe both."

"Am I right?"

He was. You were sleeping terrible. Even though the reading helped with sleeping in, the nightmares didn't disappear.

The constant thoughts about your 'duties' were kept alive through them. You wished you could just forget all of these things. Satoru seemed like he could.

You just shrugged.

"Just try to sleep when we are back." Slowly, very hesitant, did his hand engulf yours. His hand was warm. So, so warm.

"I have planned something for later. And I want you to be able to enjoy it."

You were wrong. Gojo Satoru didn't like spending money too much. He just enjoyed spoiling you far too much.

~~

"So how do you like your little 'rebellion'?"

The dark surrounding you, engulfed your mother almost whole as she sat there in her chair. Her arms crossed like chains, heavy, ready to arrest you.

"It's not like that-"

"Yeah, yeah." she waved her hand, wiping your words away. "That's what they always say."

Her leg twitched, but her face remained a mask. She sat unimpressed on her throne, looking at you like you stole candy. "How did you imagine all of this?"

She crossed her legs, it's twitching being held down like a child. "What did you think will happen after all of this?"

You looked at her, your mouth thin as a line. Your tongue felt like it was chained down. Heavy, like a boulder.

"Perhaps…" She tilted her head. "Running away together?"

'Stop.' you wanted to say, no scream. 'Stop speaking.'

"Maybe a romance where he takes you in his arms? Just leaving jujutsu society together behind?"

Your body felt light and so so heavy at the same time. Dizziness overtook you mind, making your vision blurry.

"No Clans and no responsibilities. Like Paris and Helen." she laughed loudly, her voice made you shiver.

"That would never happen. You know that. You are no Helen. Helen was a beautiful, desired and foolish woman. She didn't consider her people."

She stood up, while you lost your balance, she was suddenly towering above you, looking down with this well-known expression.

"And Gojo is no Paris. As if he would start a war for you. This boy has no courage. That's just selfish to wish." she shook her head again.

"Stop mother." your throat was burning. "This is pointless. Satoru is not like that. Satoru-"

Her eyes narrowing like a predator ready to pierce her prey. "I'm just reminding you to not do something foolish. And after your recent behavior that seems rather needed."

Your hands were shaking, sweating. Your breath was heavy and your body seemed paralyzed. You felt like a kid again. Crawling to your mother crying.

'I don't want to marry someone I don't know!' you hiccuped, chocking on your own tears a bit. 'I don't want-'

You still felt the burning sting on your cheek. Still felt her unforgiving stare as she looked at you.

'You don't have to want. You have to fulfill your duty. And that's bringing connections to your clan.' she didn't scream. No she was in control of herself what made it so much worse.

"So stop whining."

You only saw darkness. Your body jolted uncontrollably, it felt like being pushed down into the darkness.

Like you were dying.

"Enjoy your time. And use it." She waved and-

Your consciousness came crawling back, while you were being shaken awake. You felt cold, unbearable so. The sweat on you rather sticky.

It was a nightmare.

"Everything is alright."

You felt heavy, eyes fighting to open. But in the end they lost. You were so tired. Every ounce of sleep was a fight with your conscience. It was almost… Unnatural.

Warm arms embraced you, pulling your limp, cold, and heavy feeling body towards their warmth.

"I'm here now."

You knew it was him. It was the only logical explanation. But it felt so surreal. Feeling his strength and reassurance so close.

His grip on you was not forceful. No, it was so soft you couldn't help but start slipping into unconsciousness again.

"I'm sorry."

You didn't know why you apologized. It just felt right.

~~

"How late is it?" you paced through the room, while Satoru layed lazily in the bed, yawning.

"Don't know. It's not that important." as he sat up his silver white, no snow white hair was sticking up in all directions. It was so messy, it was endearing. Which is obviously just a fact-

"I thought you had something planned? Why didn't you wake me up?" you gathered new things to wear, since you obviously had to take a shower.

"You were sleeping so peaceful." he shook his head like it was obvious. "That was the first time I saw you smile in your sleep."

You stop for a second, cheeks feeling like they were on fire. "You watch me sleep?" you joked, while you pretended to look for something in your suitcase.

"No! I-, that's not what I-, I don't…" he stopped and you couldn't help but chuckle at him. It felt so crazy to have him stutter. You looked at him over your shoulder, hoping to have cooled down your face.

As he saw you holding in a laughter, his panicked look fell.

"Oh, ha ha." he raised an eyebrow.

"What did you plan? Can we still do it?" You didn't want to cancel his plans. Not Again. Not because of you.

He scratched his the back of his neck while thinking a bit. "Do you know the time?"

"It's…" you search for the clock in the bath. "8:46 PM? How long was I out??"

He chuckled while murmuring something to himself. You wanted to ask but also didn't.

"Well it is a bit late. Don't know if you even want to-"

A long, loud growl from your stomach interrupted him. Silence set in while he was just looking at you. The warmth in your face returning.

And then he laughed. "Well I guess that answers my question. Can't let my sweet wife starve."

"Sure, Satoru." you muttered as you chuckled a bit too. "Because you are of course not hungry at all after being here the whole day."

He grinned crookedly, while pulling the blanket away and also standing up. "Let's just make ourselves ready and then go."

You nodded and gathered what you found for yourself. Standing up from the ground and gripping the door of the bath, you stopped as he spoke again.

"But if it's too much please say so right away. I don't want you to suffer through anything."

Hands sweating again, you smiled at him. "I will." Then you got ready.

~

Satoru was nervous as fuck.

It still felt so unreal. Having you in his arms, you holding so desperately onto him, but slowly over time relaxing.

You cried. During your sleep.

It wasn't a one time thing. You cried almost every night. It was very silent, almost not audible, but he could hear it.

And see it.

He wanted to help you, but didn't know if he overstepped a silent boundary. A boundary so carefully layed out the last days.

But today was different. You spoke. Saying something like 'Stop mother'.

And you whispered his name.

He didn't know why. Didn't know if you had a nightmare where he was a part of, but he felt like he had to help you. Like you called for him.

He didn't watch you sleep. He listened to you sleep. To your cries.

~

"Where are we going?" you looked around. This was not a street you two had explored before and it was dark enough that you couldn't recognize even if you did know it.

"It's a surprise. Guess you have to wait." he grinned as he went sternly, while still making sure you two were going next to each other.

"You are so unfair sometimes." you shook your head. "Can't believe I married you."

"Oh please." he grinned back at you, playing into your dramatics. "As if you don't love surprises."

"Oh, Satoru." you deadpanned at him. "I hate them."

For two seconds you just stopped and looked at each other. But then you started laughing at his nervous expression.

"I'm joking, sorry. But you should have seen your face!"

He chuckled lightly, while looking around. Then he grinned back at you. "Well I hope you were joking, because here it is!"

You looked around but only saw a fancy restaurant. After looking for any small places you usually had take out, it dawned on you that the restaurant was the place he wanted to go.

"Oh Satoru…" you looked at the old, but very preserved, Restaurant in front of you. The letters on top of it almost shy, not being big and very eye catching, but very elegant. It spelled Sato's Kitchen.

"If you don't like it, we can always go back-"

"It's not like I don't like it!" you interrupted him, before he could make false conclusions. "It's just… This was very expensive, was it not?"

"Why talk about money? Let's just have a nice evening." he smiled and you knew it was expensive. Defeated you sighed.

"Okay. But you have to stop spending so much money-"

"Alright, let's go!"

He just took your hand and pulled you softly behind him.

~

It was very late. So it wasn't so surprising that your reservation was already long gone. But as you stood there behind Saturo while he tried to get a table for you, you felt bad.

It was almost laughable how naiv you were.

Dragging him out at these hours just to be told that they didn't have any tables left and we should come back tomorrow.

"Is there really no way-"

"I'm sorry good sir, but we are out. We can rearrange your reservation for tomorrow."

They were very kind for that. But you still felt bad.

"That wouldn't be so bad, would it Satoru?"

He nodded, obviously a bit frustrated as he gave his information to make the reservation or furthermore rearrange it.

"Yeah, that's alright." he muttered to the waiter. After making sure everything was alright, yoi two left shortly.

It was a bit embarrassing. Showing up almost an hour and half late at such a desired restaurant. Another reason you felt bad.

"I'm so so-"

"Well we can still do it tomorrow." Satoru smiled. Smiled so softly at you that you felt like crying. It made you feel so stupid, so unstable.

"Yeah." you almost chocked at the word.

He started going again, silently trying to get you to walk ahain. Silently walking beside him, you tried to find the light words you just had said so easily. But there were none.

"Well we can still have take out." he walked closer than before. Not too close, just a bit closer. "If that's alright for you?"

You chuckle a bit, trying to relax. "Of course. That sounds lovely."

The night was beautiful. The moon was already high up and you could see countless of stars here. In Tokyo you could only rarely see the stars. It was comforting.

The silence between you wasn't awkward anymore. Maybe you two did start to get to know each other in a way. Even though Satoru was still a mystery to you most of the time.

It just was comfortable as a whole.

Going together to your favorite ramen shop. Eating in silence and slowly walking back.

It must be really late. But Satoru did bring the bag of the sweet pastries. And as you were walking back to your hotel, he did eat from them.

You couldn't help but watch him. It was cute really. How he enjoyed it so much. And a small smile made it's way onto your face.

"Did you Always like sweets this much?"

Satoru looks at you and thinks. A cupcake still in his mouth, he tries chewing faster to give you your answer.

"Well, I think I did." he coughs as his mouth was empty. "When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to eat anything sweet or unhealthy because of those obsessive higher ups. Said it would make my powers weaker, to keep me away from them."

He took another big bite after saying that and smiled at you as he chewed.

"Well," he was grinning like an idiot after he swallowed. "After I started eating sweets I didn't get weaker. In fact quite the opposite!" He laughed.

You admired him, as he took another bite. That he could just call them obsessive and wipe it away. You wished you could not care.

And as he took his last bite, you looked at the remaining cupcakes and wondered. Could you try making them for him? Would he like them?

It was too late to think anymore, after you got home you just got ready for bed and layed down while Satoru was in the bathroom.

But as you wanted to close your eyes, this uneasiness from before seemed like it was back again. You began to feel cold and wrapped yourself tighter in the blanket.

Satoru came out of the bathroom looking at you, like he was fighting with himself.

And in a moment of weakness and exhaustion you let yourself say the words you normally would only think.

"Do you want to sleep in the bed?"

He just looked at you, the darkness around you made it hard to see his expression. Also your vision started to get blurry because of your tiredness.

"If you don't mind.".

You yawned as your eyes fell close. "You helped…" you mumbled and didn't fight your exhaustion anymore.

And as you felt his warm arms around you, again you couldn't help but smile.

~

Satoru didn't want to wake you up, but he also wanted to do his daily routine round to get you and himself breakfast. Tough decision.

Before all of this he would have never gotten up earlier than he had too. But here with you it was different. So so different.

And he didn't want to let you go. But in the end he did get up and got ready to leave for his round.

As he went down the stairs, Hina's Grandma smiled at him like every morning.

"Good morning, Mr. Gojo. On your way again?"

He laughed a bit and nodded. It was part of the routine to talk to her a bit, as she was a lovely person and knew the place well.

"Well a two letters arrived today. Both adressed at Mrs. Gojo. So I thought I could give them to you for later."

She handed him the two envelopes with a smile.

He didn't mean to sneak into your business or anything like that. But he couldn't help but feel uneasy almost angry when he saw the names of the senders.

One was from the higher ups. And one from your mother.

And he felt cold as he wondered why they would only write you.

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[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Movie Madness

Pairing: Dean Winchester x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When Dean drops in unexpectedly, you decide on an activity to get both of your pulses racing. Reader is a med-student in college and works in a library. This is the fourth fic in my Before You Go Universe, but can be read as stand alone (probably?).

Tropes: Fluff, Established Relationships, Age Difference (Reader is early to mid-20's and Dean is probably early to mid-30's)

Word Count: 5.1K

Warnings: Some swearing (once or twice), Mentions of sex (not explicit at all), Implied sex, Sexual Innuendo, SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE ALIEN,  Dean might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: This has been sitting in my WIPs folder forever and I really just wanted to write a fluff where Dean had never seen Alien and the reader remedies that. 😊

"Okay, next question: What is the first step in glycolysis, what does it create, and what does it use?" Tim asks, lounging back against one of the dusty bookshelves.

 It was a Friday night, which normally meant you were gone to see Dean at the bunker, but this weekend he was off in Maine, dealing with a pack of werewolves and you had picked up a shift at the library.

Usually you would be disappointed that you couldn't see him, but due to the giant test looming over your head on Monday, you were happy to relax and study with your lab partner, Tim.

Tim stretched out his legs as far as they could go between the two bookshelves, while you read through the call numbers on the weathered spines of the faded books waiting to be replaced back on the dusty shelves in front of you. Tim, true to his word, had come to help you study. He had been happy to hear that you weren't going to see Dean, because he was also having a hard time with the material and he always said that quizzing someone else made him remember the information more anyway so he'd shown up three hours ago and hadn't left.

"Ohh I know this." You groan, resting your head against the bookshelf and bracing your arms on the metal ledge.

"I'm sure you do. Since you were asleep during the lecture on glycolysis."

"Hey. What happened to no judgement between us?" You turn your head to glare at your lab partner. "I didn't judge you when you dated  that finance major who didn't know that the Earl of Sandwich was a person."

"An honest mistake-"

"Or when you couldn't find your glasses for two hours when you were wearing them-"

"It's very easy to do that when you have glasses. And you didn’t tell me that I was wearing them! You have no idea-"

"Or when you-"

"Okay! I give. Make it stop." He groans, kicking out at the back of your calf with his foot, but you dodge him. "Just answer the question."

"Fine."

You stand there for a minute trying to mentally compartmentalize your notes, flipping through them page by page, shuffling through the color-coded diagrams you drew for the glycolysis cycle two days ago, because yes you had fallen asleep during the lecture but you had forced yourself to go through the posted PowerPoints. "Okay. In the first step it's glucose being turned into D-glucose-6-Phosphate and it uses the-um-." You groan. "Oh it uses hexokinase."

"Finally, and yes that's right. What's the next step, what does it use, and what does it create?" Tim asks.

You turn back to the cart of dusty volumes, picking a faded red encyclopedia etched with gold script and note the call number.

You walk around the bookshelf to the other side where the call number should be, brushing your fingertips along the worn spines that line the walls and breathe in the scent of old books. It was enough to calm you down. Something about being surrounded by them always made you feel at home. Your mother was always reading worn paperbacks in her chair by the window with a cup of tea steaming in the early morning light back home, in the library that your father had made her in one of the spare bedrooms at your house. Whenever you found the time to read, it made you think of her, of course finding time to read was difficult.

You hadn't been back to see your parents since last Christmas, called them yes, and you knew deep down at some point you'd have to introduce Dean to them, but you kept putting that off, mostly because you didn't want to tell them what he did. Whenever your mom asked on the phone, you changed the subject, because it hurt you to lie to them. You were so close with both of them that it made everything complicated to keep Dean from them.

"Hello?" Tim says from the other side of the bookshelf. "Did you get lost or something?"

"Huh? Oh no I'm just thinking." You reach up on tip-toe to place the volume on the top shelf where it belongs. "Okay, I’m pretty sure the second step is D-glucose-6-Phosphate to Fructo-"

Someone grabs you from behind, wrapping their strong arms around your waist to pull you back into their chest, while planting their lips directly on the slope of your neck.

You open your mouth to scream, but then you hear Dean's rough voice in your ear.

"Did you miss me sweetheart?" He kisses you again, trailing his lips down your neck into the shadow of your jaw.

"Dean what the hell? You scared the crap out of me." You hiss turning around to hit him with the large volume still clutched in your hands. But despite your anger, you were happy to see him.

There was a little more wear around his eyes and the dark circles that rimmed them were prominent against his skin, the shadow of his beard was more apparent, but his eyes still shone bright green with his smile when he looked at you, making you feel like you were going to melt.

It wasn't a new feeling, and you hoped that it never went away.

"Sorry sweetheart." Dean laughs, dodging another swing of the encyclopedia. "You looked so cute putting the books away I had to."

"You're the worst."

He grabs the front of your sweatshirt and pulls you into him so that his lips are inches from yours, but does not kiss you. "Am I?" Dean breathes, close enough that you can feel the scratch of stubble against your skin and long for him to close the distance between the two of you.

"Yes." Your hands curl in the front of his black shirt beneath his leather jacket.

Dean kisses you earnestly, drawing the next breath from your lungs as you breathe him in, drunk on his smell and taste after only a few seconds. There really was nothing like kissing Dean, the subtle tilt of your head back, the gentle scrape of his beard against your cheeks, the soft sound he makes when he deepens the kiss, and the way he holds you close, almost as if he believes you will fade away in his arms.

"How about now?" He whispers, leaning his forehead against yours.

"You might be raising your rating." You smile, tightening your fingers in his hair. He'd been allowing it to grow a little longer and you loved it.

"Anything else I might be able to do to get it a bit higher, Sweetheart?" Dean smirks.

"Maybe-"

"Alright, I think that I've given you long enough to-" Tim begins to say rounding the corner of the bookshelves, but stops mid-sentence when he spots Dean. His eyes narrow a fraction.

"Hey there Tom!" Dean smiles as he pulls you closer to his chest, but raises his head up to give Tim a winning smile.

"It's Tim." Tim replies with a frown.

Tim had only seen Dean a handful of times and each time he did, you noticed how much he seemed to hate Dean. You couldn't think of a reason why. Dean hadn't done anything worth Tim's hatred. You had tried to act as a mediator in the past, tried to get Tim to get to know Dean before passing judgement, but nothing seemed to work.

In fact you had invited Tim to come with Dean and you to get a drink one night after class, but it had ended with you pretending that you forgot to return a phone call from your mother and you dragging a fuming Dean out of the bar while Tim glared at him.

That night had been awkward for everyone.

The entire time Tim had emphasized how important a college degree was and how important everything the two of you were doing at med school was, while glaring at Dean and almost implying that Dean was wasting your time. And when Dean told him he barely finished high school, Tim had laughed at him. Which made you angry, because you knew that Dean struggled with that, that he struggled thinking that you deserved better because he wasn’t educated the same way.

The next day you had received a phone call from Tim who apologized for what he'd said and stated that he was having a bad day and drank too much, but what he said to Dean still stung.

Dean didn't deserve to be treated like trash, didn't deserve to be put down because he didn't go to college, but you allowed yourself to forgive Tim. He was one of your only friends at school. However, you still didn't understand why he hated Dean so much.

An awkward silence passes between the three of you.

"Well I'm gonna go." Tim says looking from you to Dean. "I've got an early shift tomorrow. But let me know if you want to study again before the test."

"Okay, I'll text you later. Oh and I'll add you to the google doc for the notes I made." You smile at him, while leaning into Dean's embrace subconsciously. It had been two weeks since you'd seen him and you didn't realize how much you missed him until this moment.

"Sure." Tim turns to go back for his backpack on the other side.

"Bye Tom." Dean calls at his retreating back.

You sigh grabbing Dean's chin and bring his face back down to look at you. "You know his name."

"Do I?" Dean scrunches his face up as if trying to remember.

"Dean-"

"I'm just joking with him sweetheart. He's gotta learn to lighten up." Dean rolls his eyes, but then brushes his lips against yours, making your mind go completely blank. "I missed you."

"Is that why you're back early from your 'hunting trip'?" You smile against his lips.

"Maybe. That and it turned out not to be a pack of werewolves, but a very angry bear. Yogi didn't get the memo about eating hikers."

"Guess that makes you Ranger Smith. Please tell me that Sam or Cas had to dress up like Cindy Bear to appease Yogi and that you got pictures." You plead tugging at his hair hoping that Dean is about to make this the best day of your life.

"I love how much you know about Yogi Bear-"

"Oh that's nothing, you should hear me talk about Scooby Doo. My sister and I used to watch it all the time and let me be the first to say, Daphne deserved better."

It was an argument that your sister and you got into more than once, she was team Fred all the way, but you think that Daphne deserved better than a guy who was more focused on himself rather than anyone else. Not to mention he always let her get into trouble and he never seemed to care about her. Meanwhile your sister always said that he was trying to act aloof and sexy.

I miss her so much.

Dean freezes as soon as soon as you say it.

"Dean?" You look up at him worried. "Are you okay? Oh no, please don't tell me that you think that Daphne and Fred should-"

He picks you up and pins you to the bookshelf behind you, but before you can ask him again if he's okay, his lips are against yours.

He tastes like beer, coffee, and something sweet that you can't identify, both intoxicating and invigorating. The smell of his cologne and shampoo floods through your nose followed closely by the smell of leather and gun metal. Dean pulls your thighs up around him to secure you against his waist as he deepens the kiss, his tongue  brushing against yours in a wicked dance that drives all thoughts from your mind.  You moan, tangling your fingers in his hair to force his mouth harder against yours, not wanting him to stop.  It'd been so long since you'd seen him, since you'd had any time with him, since he'd touched you-

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Dean whispers against your lips. "Because every time I see you I don't think that I can love you more and then you say something like that."

"That Daphne deserved better?" You smile.

Dean kisses you as soon as you say it, holding you so tight against him it's almost painful, but you don't care, because it reminds you that he's here with you.

"Say it again." He mutters.

"Daphne deserved better."

"Fuck I love you."

"And I love that each time I see you I find out more about your weird kinks." You snort rubbing the back of his head gently in the way you know he likes.

"It's not a kink, it's the truth." Dean sighs while adjusting his grip under your thighs to make sure he doesn't drop you.

"Mhmm. Sure."

"So how much longer do you have to work?" He asks.

You glance at the watch on your wrist behind his head. "About an hour. Longer if you keep distracting me."

"I'm a wonderful distraction Sweetheart. Wouldn't mind distracting you for a little longer." Dean's mouth drifts to your jaw.

"Dean." You sigh. "I love you baby, but can I please finish putting these away?"

"In a minute." He continues to kiss down the column of your throat, sucking a mark just below your jaw. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." You sigh, knotting your hands in his hair and securing him against your neck.

"Have I ever told you that you're the sexiest librarian I've ever seen?" Dean murmurs.

"Given how many you've watched on your laptop I'll take that as a compliment." You snort. "But they're probably wearing less clothes than I am-"

"I can fix that sweetheart."

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend, but you’re not opposed to what he’s suggesting. "How long can you stay?"

"Few days."

"Hmm."

"What do you think we should do with all that time?" Dean looks up with a mischievous glint in his eye that makes a shudder go down your spine.

"I have a few ideas."

"Oh really?"

"Mhm."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Something that will get our pulses racing." You kiss Dean, but before he can deepen it you pull back. "And maybe a few things that'll make me scream." You whisper, your breath upon his lips. "Would you like that Dean?"

"I think I would."

"Good."

"You know when you asked me if I wanted to hear you scream and wanted to get our pulses racing, this wasn't what I had in mind." Dean frowns, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing the extra large cheese pizza down on the end of your bed.

"Really? Huh. Can't imagine what else you were thinking about." You reply with an shrug, shuffling through your collection of DVD's to look for your favorite one.

"You act so innocent Sweetheart, but we both know how much trouble you seem to get us into all the time."

"I don't know what you're talking about." You finally see the familiar cover of your Alien Movie collection. "I can't believe you've never seen Alien before. It truly is one of the best movies in history." You set up the DVD player and grab the remote while Dean changes into his boxers.

You were looking forward to a relaxing night of watching movies and eating copious amounts of snacks and pizza to drown out the worry for the test on Monday. You figured that you had studied enough today with Tim at the library and now you were taking a well deserved break with Dean and your favorite comfort movie, Alien.

As soon as you found out Dean had never seen it, you'd wanted to make him watch it, but there never seemed to be time and tonight was perfect. You had grabbed a pizza on the way back, as well as every type of candy you could think of, beer (Dean's contribution), and popcorn.

"I was never really into Sci-Fi. That's more Sam." Dean sighs, nestling down on your small full sized bed, avoiding the pizza box.

"We both know that's a lie. You like Godzilla vs. Mothra!" You shout, changing out of your jeans and t-shirt, before grabbing the flannel that Dean took off a few seconds ago. It was still warm, but soft against your skin. “Not to mention I’ve heard you make at least seven Star Trek jokes.”

"Godzilla vs. Mothra is not really Sci-fi, that's giant monster destroying a city and it's awesome." Dean replies not taking his eyes off of you as you button up the flannel and ignoring your comment about Star Trek.

"Yes it is awesome and it most definitely is Sci-fi. And Alien is Sci-Fi for people who like Sci-fi and awesome monster movie for people who pretend to hate Sci-Fi like you. It has something for everyone, even cat lovers!" You get on the bed, sitting cross-legged next to him as you reach for the pizza and the bag that holds all your other snacks.

"Cat lovers?"

"There's a cat in this movie, Jonesy. He's adorable." You grab a slice of pizza and try not to moan out loud at the taste. "I love you." You whisper as you take another bite of the cheesy goodness.

"I love you too Sweetheart." Dean says with a heart-warming smile, not understanding that you are in fact talking to the pizza and not to him.

"Um. Well I love you too Dean-" You laugh awkwardly.

He frowns at you. "You were talking to the pizza weren't you?"

"No…"

Dean snorts and grabs a slice for himself. "Go on and start the movie. I doubt that I'll be able to stay awake for it."

"You're gonna love it!" You say leaning into his shoulder as you continue to eat.

"Uh-huh sure. How about we make this interesting?”

“How?” You lean your head back to look up at him.

“Well if I guess who dies one by one correctly, you take off a piece of clothing and if I guess wrong then I take off a piece of clothing.” He purrs tracing the edges of where his flannel hits your thighs.

“Dean you’re only wearing boxers. And I’m only wearing your shirt and underwear."

“Even better. Only have one wrong answer for me, and two correct ones for you.” He smirks wider.

“Are you trying to distract me from my favorite movie with the promise of sex?”

Dean leans in towards your face. “That depends. Is it working?”

You look at him, eyes tracing his handsome features, thinking about how much you missed him. “Nope.” You reply raising your slice of pizza between the two of you and taking a large bite.

Dean rolls his eyes and grabs a beer, snapping the metal top off with his bare hand.

How does he do something so normal and make it be so sexy?

“I promise that you’re gonna love it. And if you don’t, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” You stoke your hand down his muscular chest.

Dean lets out a heavy sigh. ��Fine.” He grumbles, before pulling you into his side as the opening music fills your bedroom.

You’d seen Alien maybe a million times. Monster movies were your sister and your favorite and the Alien movie series was the subject of many movie nights you spent with her before she got married. Binge watching all of them while eating probably cancer inducing junk food was a regular occurrence. Not to mention her bachelorette theme was badass female characters and she had proudly dressed up like Ripley. 

You were excited to share this with him, and as much as he protested watching it, you knew that Dean was going to love  it.

"I'm gonna go make popcorn." You say shuffling through the bag of snacks for the box of microwavable popcorn that you were sure was at the bottom.

"What?" Dean perks up.

"I'm going to go make popcorn." You pull yourself from his arms, stretching your arms up to the ceiling before making your way to your bedroom door.

"I'll-um- I'll go with you." Dean clears his throat, rising from the bed to follow.

"What?" You turn to look at him.

You'd been watching for over an hour, long enough for the Xenomorph to be on the loose in the spaceship and long enough for him to see what a badass Ripley was. She was and you wouldn’t apologize for dumping Dean if you ever had a chance with her.

But Dean seemed to be enjoying the movie. He’d yelled for a solid five minutes at the crew who stood by and watched the xenomorph explode out of their friend’s chest and he’d grabbed you by the waist and shook you when the captain got killed in the air vents while screaming “it’s your fault he’s dead” to the characters on the screen.

He was hooked.

"I'm going to help you make the popcorn." He repeats, but he won't quite look at you, his eyes are shifting through your room, tracing over the dark shapes.

"Okay." You were confused as to why he was coming with you, but you shrug and walk out into your living room.

The apartment is quiet and dark. Your roommate, Suze, hadn't been home when you got there and you didn't know when she was coming back or if she would. She'd been spending an inordinate amount of time at her new boyfriend Matt's house, a boyfriend that you actually didn't hate running into and didn't make you feel uncomfortable.

After everything that happened with her ex Cooper, you had wondered if things between Suze and you would go back to normal. There had been a few awkward hello's and goodbye's, but since she started dating Matt about a month ago things seemed to settle down. So much so that she had actually invited you to come with them to get a drink one night and you were allowed to bring Dean, and it wasn't awkward, maybe at first, but not now. It had only taken two years for your roommate to actually like you.

I'll leave her a note to let her know that there's some extra beer in the fridge if she wants it.

You begin to open the box of popcorn to reach the plastic packets inside.

"Did you hear that?" Dean says, turning towards your front door and shielding your body from it like it's going to attack you.

"Hear what?" The plastic popcorn packet rustles as you tear it open before you place it into the microwave.

"That weird noise."

"Dean, I think you're hearing things."

"I am not!" He walks towards the door carefully.

"Yes you are." You stop for a second, watching his tense stature, and suddenly understand why he wanted to come with you into the kitchen. "Wait a minute, are you scared?"

"Huh?" Dean peeks over his shoulder eyes wide.

"You are! You're scared!" You snort. "I can’t believe this."

"I'm not scared." Dean lies, standing up straighter.

"Wow. Big bad Dean Winchester is scared of aliens."

"I am not!" He plants his hands on his hips, but its not enough to convince you.

"How are you scared of that? You see stuff worse than Xenomorphs everyday!" You laugh again, turning back to the microwave to pour the now made popcorn into a stainless steel bowl. 

"I don't see aliens. And I sure as hell don't see something like that!"

"Uh-huh. Sure." You shake your head at him, practically skipping back into your room. "And I thought this day couldn't get any better."

Dean collapses on the bed next to you in a huff. "How are you not afraid of that thing?"

"I’m honestly more disappointed that you haven’t proved their existence.”

“You want something like that to exist?”

“I mean it’s kinda cool-“

"Cool? You think that thing is cool?” Dean's mouth drops open in surprise.

“Yeah?” You shrug and pop a piece of the popcorn in your mouth.

“It’s got acid for blood!”

“So what you’re saying is, if one of those was on the loose you wouldn’t protect me?” You force your smile into an attractive pout, fluttering your eyelashes at Dean.

 He looks you right in the eye, without blinking and states, “Babe you’re on your own.”

 “Wow. It’s okay. I’ll protect you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, I’m not scared.” Dean huffs as you fasten you arms around his chest and lay your head over his heart.

As the movie continues you keep sneaking glances at Dean, who has begun to subconsciously press you tighter and tighter against his chest with the arm he has wrapped around your back. He hasn't taken his eyes off the screen, the most he'd done is stress eat his way through all of your snacks.

But you loved it. You cuddled further into his chest, smiling against his skin as you did. You loved having these moments with him, hadn't had one with him in almost two weeks. The most the two of you had done was talk on the phone until you fell asleep, but you missed this. You missed your sexy, gentle, kind, passionate, caring, and gorgeous boyfriend.

“Come on. The CAT IS SMARTER THAN ALL OF THEM!” He shouts wincing as another crew member is killed by the creature.

“Yes it is.”  You snort.

"We should get a cat."

"What? Are you even a cat person?" You sit up and look at Dean, who is still watching the movie with wide eyes.

"I could be! It could tell that fucking thing was there! It was warning them and they didn’t listen and now they’re dead! See if we had a cat I’d listen to him." He argues.

"What are you the cat whisperer?"

"If it started acting weird then we’d know one of those things was around!" Dean shouts squeezing you tighter against his bare chest, his eyes still glued to the t.v.

Is it wrong that I like seeing him like this?

You'd never seen him afraid before, but it was giving you a sickening amount of joy for him to be clutching on to you so tightly. That was probably because you missed him so much and it was nice to be in his arms again, even if he was cutting off circulation to the top half of your body.

"Cats always act weird. They're cats. It’s kinda the whole deal."

"Do you like cats?"

"I could. I like dogs. I always wanted a pet when I was younger, but my sister is allergic." You frown at the tv.

When you were a kid you hadn't seen a problem and brought home a random dog while telling your sister loudly to "hold her breath."

Your parents hadn't thought it was as funny as you had.

"How is she doing?" Dean asks turning to look at you as the end credits roll.

He hadn't met any of your family yet and you were planning on asking Dean to come home with you for thanksgiving in a few weeks, but you weren't sure it was a good idea. You loved him and he loved you, but you were afraid that he would freak out about meeting your family. You knew that he wasn't used to something like that, meeting a significant other's family,  and you didn't want to push him to do something uncomfortable.

Then again, the premise of free food will probably entice him. Not to mention my mom is the best cook in the world.

"Good. The baby is due in November and she's hoping that it'll be out by Thanksgiving because she doesn’t want to miss the one holiday that doesn't fat shame you for taking another plate. I just called her the other day, she can’t wait for it to be over."

You also hadn't seen your sister in a little bit, but it was difficult to balance that, especially because she lived so far away and you were trying to balance work, school, and Dean. But you did get a phone call out to her at least once every week. Lately it had been more because she liked to call to complain about being pregnant and because her husband was away on business, she wasn't able to do it to him.

"How’s her husband?"

"He’s good. Just got promoted. I still have no idea what he does. She says she doesn’t either. Every time I asks my brain turns off. Then again she said she’d be okay if he was out there shaking it for dollar bills, as long as he brings money home."

"I think I love your sister."

"She is pretty great. And honestly, it seems like a nice way to pick up some extra cash-"

"No." Dean smiles slips into a frown.

"No what?" You ask him confused.

"You’re not allowed to become a stripper."

"I didn’t say I wanted to. Just that it might be a viable option to getting some cash on the side."

"No.” Dean’s eyes flick from where Ripley is fighting the alien in the escape pod to focus on you.

“You know it’s a free country and if I wanted to be a stripper I could."

"Nope."

"What?"

"Sorry doll. The only one that gets to see this sexy  body is me."

“I think you’re being selfish.”

“Yes unashamedly. I want you all to myself.” Deans smile shifts into a smirk, eyes glinting mischievously. “Though if you wanted to give me a show I wouldn’t be against it.”

“Hmm. I’ll think about it.”

"So what did you think about the movie?"

"I liked it, though I think it's kind of a red flag that this is your comfort movie."

"Says the guy who's entire trunk of his car is a red flag."

"I'm serious. How is this your comfort movie?" Dean gestures at the end credits that continue to scroll to the iconic soundtrack.

"I don't know. I like it. It makes me feel better about my problems watching them all scramble around."

"You're so weird." Dean sighs shaking his head.

"I know. It's great isn't it?" You flash a wide grin and elbow him in the side.

"Keeps me on my toes."

You find the box that contains the entire collection underneath the wrappers of all the snacks and wave it in front of you to taunt him. “So I’ve got the next three on DVD. Unless you’re too scared Winchester.”

“Bring it on!”

"Or," You smile up at him. "We could take a break because you were very brave. And maybe you deserve a reward." You press a kiss along the edge of his jaw, feeling the scratch of his stubble against the soft pillow of your lips. Dean had allowed it to grow out a little more than usual and you loved that.

"And what would we do?" Dean asks you innocently, but his green eyes gleam with mischief, tracing down to where his shirt rests over your thighs.

"Something that would get our pulses racing-"

Dean tackles you back against your bed, his lips inches apart from yours. “I’d like that sweetheart.”

“Thought so.”

Thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for the Before You Go Series please let me know! 😊

Taglist:

@sunnyhummingbee @roseblue373 @brightlilith @snowayumi @ladysparkles78

@kittydeany77 @daisy-the-quake @mrsjenniferwinchester

[hotwaterandmilk]

2024 English language manga releases I'm enjoying

Here are a couple of titles I've picked up in English so far this year that I've enjoyed. Most of these I read digitally in Japanese for one or two volumes a couple of years back, but opted to wait and purchase the English print versions for my collection.

I feel like all of these books are worth the purchase price, but don't have the energy to do individual posts for each of them. So here's a very smooshed together post covering a few 2024 reads.

GOGOGOGO-GO-GHOST! from Yen Press

Akechi Ushiro is a heavily flawed, hard-working woman whose disregard for her own wellbeing results in her coming face-to-face with her equally flawed guardian spirit, Masako. The pair decide to combine their forces and begin tackling the obstacles in Ushiro's life using curses.

Hiruzuka Miyako's darkly funny tale of a woman taking control of her life alongside her queer sister spirit is such a delight . Featuring a rough-and-ready art style that helps underscore the macabre elements at play, the entire first volume is scathing in its humour and unashamed in its portrayal of Ushiro's flaws. I was surprised when this one got picked up by Yen Press a while back, but so happy to see it enjoying a stateside release. If you're after something that doesn't always play nice, GOGOGOGO-GO-GHOST! might well be for you.

Edit: If you haven't read it before, this Japanese interview with Hiruzuka is worth reading for a bit more on her background and the creation of the series.

Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! (Akujiki Reijou to Kyouketsu Koushaku) from Kodansha USA

A sweet little fantasy romance between two individuals who find solace in one another despite being reviled by the general public for their interest in monsters. One loves defeating monsters in battle while the other loves cooking them!

Melphiera is a smart, capable heroine while Aristide Rogier du Galbraith is a dashing and supportive hero. The manga art is a bit low in detail, but the characters and story are absolutely worth your time. I'd love to see the LNs that the manga adapts in English someday too. I mentioned in tags before this whole series gives me the types of vibes I enjoy in historical fantasy romance novels, so if you like that kind of content this might be a good title to check out (or recommend to friends who appreciate romantasy but haven't tried manga before).

In The Name of The Mermaid Princess (Mio no Na no Moto ni) from VIZ Media

In a country where being "unhuman" or in some way supernaturally inclined is seen as a curse rather than a blessing, Princess Mio takes medications to suppress her mermaid-esque traits and please her father. Her perspective changes when Yuri, a tutor from her fiance's home kingdom, encourages her to be herself and embrace the things that make her different.

I've seen people say this is a bit too obvious in its parallels between fantasy oppression and IRL issues, but this is a Ribon manga for young girls so yeah it's on the nose but I think it works for the audience it has in mind. Tashiro Miya's artwork here is gorgeous and both leads are quite endearing (Mio is SO freakin adorable I can'ttttt). Overall a solid little series with nicely packaged volumes for those after something for a younger audience.

The Moon on a Rainy Night (Amayo no Tsuki) from Kodansha USA

A romantic slice-of-life tale featuring two high school girls, one of whom is a budding pianist (Saki) and the other a loner who is hard of hearing (Kanon).

I don't normally go much on high school romance but the way this series blends classic GL melodrama tropes with genuine issues in an earnest manner works for me. While we see things more from Saki's viewpoint as she eagerly tries to learn more about Kanon and tries to figure out her own sexuality, we do also come to understand Kanon's thwarted ambitions and the difficulties she has with letting people in.

Kuzushiro's art is quite whispy and cute, with all the characters tending to look quite well-realised on the page. While I prefer romances that feature a character with disability to centre their perspective, I do feel this does a decent job of portraying both girls as they try to navigate their deepening relationship. YMMV on this though, particularly if you are d/Deaf or hard of hearing.

Sketchy from Kodansha USA

Ako is living an unfulfilling life with a dull job and even duller boyfriend, but she suddenly finds herself thrust into a whole new world upon encountering a mysterious young skateboarder.

Sketchy, while ostensibly about women taking up skateboarding is more a snapshot of their individual lives and the role having a hobby plays once you're no longer a child. Ako's story particularly resonates with me (I literally worked her job at a similar age) but all the characters prove interesting in their own way.

Makihirochi's art is a bit more experimental than others on this list and may not be to everyone's taste, but I do think Sketchy is still worth checking out even if you're not entirely sold on the art (which I think has improved since I first became familiar with her work through Itsuka Tiffany de Choushoku o in Comic Bunch). Titles like this, which, let's face it, have low levels of mainstream appeal, don't often get English language releases so I highly recommend supporting this one if you have the opportunity to do so.

[rarityroo]

Dating Mirio Togata Hcs

(Mirio Togata x Gn!reader)

I made this while working on requests, I really love Mirio and was very happy to write him! This fic includes meeting Mirio, a confession, and a little bit of Eri appreciation at the end. I might make a part two with You, Mirio and Eri. Hopefully you like this too, to those who sent in requests they’re being down now and will be posted soon! Much love! 🫶🏻

– You became friends with Mirio sometime in middle school. You became his friend after defending his closest friend, Tamaki, from bullies during passing time. You had no clue why they were bullying him but you knew you had to stop them, that's what heroes do after all.

– Your whole young life you've wanted to be a hero, you wanted to be the absolute best anyone could be. You wanted to be a symbol of hope just like All-Might!

– Once you fended off Tamaki's bullies, he shakily thanked you and offered to walk you to your next class. You agreed, happy to have a new friend.

– As the two of you walked down the halls, a loud cheery voice boomed down the hallway, Tamaki jumped and you turned to see who it was, not knowing how much your life would change.

"Tamaki! Hey! C'mon Tamaki wait up!" A voice shouted through the halls, Tamaki looked startled at the volume of the voice but not at the voice itself, huh must know him, you thought as a look of recognition flashed over Tamaki's eyes. Once the owner's voice came into view it was like your world stopped, like this specific moment everything halted for a second. You suddenly became nervous and flustered, Tamaki noticed your sudden mood change and seemed confused, "H-Hi M-Mir-rio" Tamaki choked out, and despite him being so comfortable with Mirio he still struggled. "Hey! Who's this?," Mirio motions to you, you look over to Tamaki who looks nervous to be put on the spot so you take charge despite your own anxiety. "Hi!, I'm [Reader]!" You say politely, Mirio smiles at you, "I’m Mirio!" He states happily, "Where are you two headed too?" Mirio asks, "Oh, Tamaki and I are walking to my next class, you can come too if you want." You offer, "Sure sounds fun!" Mirio says.

– After that day you, Tamaki, and Mirio would hang out daily until you got to high school. You all got into UA, a lifelong dream of yours. Sure you were all still friends but with the workload and varying schedules, finding time to hang out as a group was hard.

– So you and Mirio could usually hang out one-on-one although it was very rare. And with every hangout, you noticed how much you liked Mirio.

– Anytime he held the door open for you, pulled out your chair, trained with you, and studied with you, you could feel your little crush deepen into something much more. So you invited him out for a 'study date', planning to confess.

You walked into the Cafe, books in hand, you walked from the door to a small rounded table in the back of the Cafe. You sat your books down and went up to order. After ordering, you sat with your drink waiting, anxiety flushing through you as you saw Mirio walk through the Cafe his eyes scanning the area, his eyes glimmering with happiness when he saw you.

Mirio being himself launched into enthusiastic conversation, his company alone was enough to ease the tension coiling inside you. You found yourself drawn into his infectious energy, your fears of what's to come melting away in his company. The café seemed brighter, warmer somehow, with him with you. Time seemed to slip away as you chatted and laughed, lost in each other's company. And then, as the conversation lulled, a moment of quiet settled between you. Mirio's gaze softened as he looked at you, a gentle smile started at the corners of his lips.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" Mirio's voice was soft, almost hesitant as if he was afraid of being too abrupt, years of knowing you would never dull his anxiety of being around you.

You nodded, "Of course," you whispered, hardly daring to breathe as you waited for his words. Mirio took a deep breath, his gaze leading to the table. "I... I really like you," he admitted, his voice filled with sincerity. What!?? You were so shocked, could he actually have feelings for you, just like you secretly had for him? The thought sent a rush of excitement coursing through you, mixed with a sense of disbelief.

"I've liked you for a while now, and I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore."

Your heart skipped a beat at his confession, a flood of warmth going through you at his words. You took a moment to gather your courage, then reached out to gently touch his hand. "Mirio, I..I like you too"

Mirio's eyes widened in surprise, his smile growing wider with each passing moment. "Really?" he asked, his voice filled with excitement.

You nodded, a shy smile spreading across your face. "Yes, really," you confirmed, feeling a weight lifting off your shoulders as you finally confessed your feelings.

– Mirio is a fantastic boyfriend. Flowers, cute notes in your lunch whenever he has the time, and will often have a study date with you. He was so loving and supportive of you and anything you did or wanted to do. From hobbies to new styles, je was always your biggest fan.

– He was always so kind and gentle, so it was no surprise to you when he introduced you to a small timid girl, named Eri. The young girl, despite being shy and quiet took a great liking to you.

You sat at the dinner table at home quietly reading, your head popped up when you heard your front door opening, followed by Mirios voice paired with a smaller younger voice. Huh?

"Hey! babe! I'm home, there's someone I want you to meet!" Mirio everso sweetly called, you walk from the dining room to the living room shocked to see a small girl hiding behind Mirio, Mirio light nudged her, “Go on” Mirio encouraged smiling down at her, “Hi” she looked at the ground, “I’m Eri”, You smiled gently all questions you had put on halt when you heard her sweet little voice, “Hi Eri! I’m [Reader]”, Eri looked up at you and smiled the sweetest smile, something told you this was the start of something truly lovely.

[veliseraptor]

June Reading Recap

doing this under a cut this month, since there are...21 books to recap. made more of an effort toward a fiction/non-fiction divide and I'm pleased to see results on that front!

including a poll also regarding what I should read next.

Speculative Whiteness: Science Fiction and the Alt-Right by Jordan S. Carroll. I mentioned this recently in a want-to-read post and was surprised to find it relatively inexpensively, until I realized that it is a very slim volume indeed! But it still felt worth the read; there was nothing particularly revolutionary to me in the argument, but I feel like it gave me some food for thought and, in a move that always makes me feel favorable toward a nonfiction book, directed me toward a number of other sources I'm now going to check out.

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

Enchanted Creatures: Our Monsters and Their Meanings by Natalie Lawrence. This book was a massive disappointment. There was a lot of generalization across cultures and monsters ("this is what all snake-women from Medusa to nagas symbolize"), which particularly put my back up, but the author also just wasn't saying anything particularly interesting, and leaned a weird amount on Freudian analysis in a way I was surprised to see in a modern work. I know it's still around, but I'm mostly used to seeing it in more heavily academic literary analysis. Not worth it. My search for interesting books analyzing the context and meaning of various Creatures continues apace.

A Sweet Sting of Salt by Rose Sutherland. I picked up this book, went "I'm either going to really like this or be really annoyed by it," and was wisely told to check it out from the library instead of buying it. And my actual verdict is...ehh? It wasn't particularly irritating to me, but I didn't love it either. It was sweet, and if you're looking for a queer selkie love story then this is the only one I've got for you, but I was neither particularly inspired by the writing nor the plot. I found myself thinking there are more interesting things you could do with this a lot of times, and I was (personally) unimpressed by the neat happy ending (though admittedly that is probably personal preference speaking).

The Einstein of Sex: Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, Visionary of Weimar Berlin by Daniel Brook. I do recommend this one! Though I feel like reading about queer culture in Weimar Berlin always makes me more than a little bit sad, in the same way reading about Jewish culture in pre-war Europe makes me more than a little bit sad. The sense of loss is just...palpable. But! I learned a lot both about Hirschfeld himself and the history of some of what looks like more modern theory around sexuality and gender. It really is remarkable how forward thinking this guy was in a number of ways, and I'm glad this book exists to bring more attention to him.

Cosgrave and Darkdawn by Jay Kristoff. My two main thoughts about this series ended up being "Mr. Kristoff please stop trying so hard to be Clever in the Footnotes and, as I said, hanging a lampshade on your Cleverness doesn't actually make it less irritating." I still enjoyed this series on the whole, I'd say - I mean, I read the whole thing, which was not an insignificant investment - but I felt like my stylistic annoyance increased over the course of my reading. I also think that, as a series, it would've been much stronger without the introduction of a larger, higher-stakes plot and stayed with the personal revenge quest that kicked it off instead.

The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World: An Extraordinary Journey Through History's Greatest Treasures by Bettany Hughes. I read a fair number of books this month where I was like, "eh, fine? interesting I guess, but not particularly memorable" and this was one of those. I learned some new things, but I felt like the book sometimes got bogged down in architectural details that removed from the more interesting (at least to me) questions of cultural impact and significance.

Feeders by Matt Serafini. The further out from actually reading this I got, the less I like it. I was interested in the concept for a horror novel (something something toxic influencer culture), but this particular iteration of it, at least, left something to be desired. It ended up feeling shallow and gimmicky, not particularly inspired either in terms of prose or execution. The experience of reading it was fun, I guess, but again - the more I think about it the more I keep downgrading it in my estimation.

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell. I've been meaning to read this book for a long time and also avoiding it, as one of those books where I was like "I need this and I'm mad about it." I bounced off it on my first try, then returned to it for a second and found myself sucked in. Odell's prose is a pleasure to read, and this feels less like a "self-help" book than it is a "food for thought" book - and it did make me think. I'm still thinking.

The Will to Battle by Ada Palmer. I feel like this series gets better by the book and I'm now very excited to read the last one. Feel like I'm going to be chewing on all of them for a while. The increased religious turn in this particular volume was a little bit of a [headtilt] but at this point I'm interested enough in Ada Palmer's project to follow where she's going.

Witchcraft: A History in Thirteen Trials by Marion Gibson. I am sort of two minds about this book: I feel like I learned new things about particular trials/instances of the persecution of witches, but I don't know that I learned much that was new (to me) conceptually or in terms of a larger framework. I felt like the modern day connection (with Stormy Daniels) was the weakest part of the book and felt like a bit of a strained way to give the rest of the work modern relevance. I think there were more graceful ways to accomplish that same project.

Penance by Eliza Clark. The conceit here is that the novel is a work of true crime by a journalist about a fictional murder in the UK in 2016. I was telling Amelia that I want an academic course on true crime as a genre and its development, from the "primary texts" to more recent works commenting on the phenomenon, which is clearly what this book is doing. I don't know that I'd call it a great novel, but I am very interested in what it was doing conceptually on several levels, and in how it's in conversation with other texts (and podcasts) in the true crime ecosystem. The blending of real and fiction was well done, such that there were a couple things I had to check on to see if I'd missed. Very funny to feel like I could identify the inspiration for both podcasts "excerpted" in the book.

Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold. So I'm finally reading the Vorkosigan Saga! This was a strong start, certainly - I really like Cordelia, which has me a bit disappointed to understand that I am not going to be following her for the rest of the series. It was an engaging sci-fi romp with a propulsive, happening plot; my only misgivings were around the romance, which felt (to me) a little rushed. Could have done with slower development there, but I feel like that's often how I feel about romances. Now I have to find the second book, though, which does not appear to be available through my library.

Middle of the Night by Riley Sager. This was another "it was fine but also the further away from it I get the less I like it, actually" book. Fairly conventional mystery/horror, in my opinion; I feel like I find Sager summaries interesting but so far haven't been compelled by the execution.

White Too Long: The Legacy of White Supremacy in American Christianity by Robert P. Jones. Very interesting book - not particularly surprising to me, but the particularities taught me some new things and while the statistical analysis went a little bit over my head I managed to follow it enough to track. I do feel like it was a bit of a detour out of the tone of the rest of the book, though. Definitely felt targeted more toward a specifically Christian audience, however - not in a bad way, just in the sense of that being who he was speaking to.

Senseless by Ronald Malfi. I think I just don't like Malfi that much, despite having now read three books by him. Maybe this will be the one that tips me over into giving up on reading more. It wasn't bad - I think it would have been better if it'd committed a little more to either the horror or the mystery genres that it was straddling, though admittedly if it had landed on the mystery one (the stronger of the two) it would be a fairly typical, run-of-the-mill plot. It was fine but I can't say much more than that for this book.

Between Two Fires: Truth, Ambition, and Compromise in Putin's Russia by Joshua Yaffa. This book made me think of The Future Is History by M. Gessen in a lot of ways, and that's honestly high praise. One of my favorite books I read this month for sure - it's a book written very much from the ground, based on the perspectives and stories of specific individuals, in a way that is illustrative, complex, and humane. The analysis of the ways people adapt to and compromise with the Putin government is very compelling to me, and illustrates the complex range of behavior under a repressive government between compliance and defiance, while largely refraining from casting explicit judgment on individual choices.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me by Django Wexler. Maybe I just don't like funny books, she began to think, reading another fantasy book that's very attached to its own cleverness of concept. This series annoyed me less in some ways than others I could name, and I liked some things about it more, and I'm just enough of a sucker for time loops that I'm not unhappy I read it. But I wouldn't say it was good and I wouldn't recommend it. It's fun, but there's just not a lot there, and the conclusion (at least for me) left something to be desired.

A History of Fear by Luke Dumas. Of the horror that I read this month this was my favorite one, but admittedly that's kind of a low bar. I've had it on my list for a while, and while it was enjoyable I wouldn't say it was particularly outstanding - my favorite part of it was the initials twist (I will not explain, because it was more fun for me, at least, to hit it unaware) at the very end. I think that final note gave this book a lot of the fondness I did end up feeling for it.

Saving Time: Discovering Life Beyond the Clock by Jenny Odell. I liked this one a little less than How to Do Nothing, though I still appreciated the thrust of her argument. And I did notice her citation of Heschel, which made me feel decidedly vindicated. One thing I did appreciate was her distinction between...oh, now I'm forgetting the language she used (and I already returned my copy to the library), but it was basically about the distinction between people who feel time pressure that's internally generated and people who feel time pressure that's externally generated. Gave me some food for thought, personally, as a perenially internally-generated-time-pressure person.

---

I'm currently reading Supergods by Grant Morrison (which is already kind of annoying me, albeit not quite to DNF levels yet; we'll see if that changes). Not totally sure what my next read is but I'm thinking of trying to make it realistic fiction, on account of it's been a while and there are a number that I want to read. I do have an ILL request for one of the academic books that came out of Speculative Whiteness to pick up at the library.

...actually here, have a poll for the "which realistic fiction book should I read in July" question that's probably going to be incredibly predictable based on who is following this blog:

[quilloleander]

Even Morale Officers Need a Pick-Me Up (SG)

Prompt: A story with SG Soundwave and baby megs

This is part of the High Guard + Sparkling Megatron One-Shot Book I promised to make.

"I'm back to writing" and then I proceeded to remain sick and have a terrible cough. My immune system hates me, but it's fine because I hate it more out of spite. Anyway, hopefully I can actually continue writing now lmao.

So, the prompt was just SG Soundwave and sparkling Megatron. As such, I didn't have a lot to work with so just have this very fluffy interaction between the two. I do admit I have a hard time actually writing in SG Soundwave's POV and dialogue because he's one of the few SG characters that I can't actually pin down skskks. He's supposed to a loud dudebro but... I am not a dudebro SKSKKS. I don't even have any friends that are dudebros, the closest I have is a guy who goes to the gym and he just likes to be fit lmao. But yeah, I tried my best with SG Soundwave and I will still try to practice writing this guy until I'm satisfied with an actual characterization of him I like.

Also AAAAAAAAAA sparkling SG Megatron... my baby ;-; (I have a clear favorite and I am not sorry HAHAHA).

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65467561/chapters/168501307

================================================

Checking his chronometer, Soundwave felt very happy that he had done his duty as morale officer for the solar cycle. Not that his job was ever done as there were many bots to still talk to and still so much to say, even during the lunar cycle.

Lowering the volume ever so slightly, knowing how some bots could get over how loud his music was, Soundwave spun around in his chair as he moved away from the broadcasting equipment that controlled the communications system of the entire High Guard base. 

All in all, the solar cycle had been pretty great.

Leaning back slightly, Soundwave glanced down at his servos, recalibrating the digits and wincing as it took a bit of time for each digit to move. Spending most of his time behind a desk did not come without a few consequences. Even before he had joined the High Guard all those cycles ago, he always had trouble with his servos and their tendency to lock up.

Being on the surface without a proper medic to help maintain his frame only worsened the condition, and now sometimes even his wristplates had trouble moving efficiently.

He hadn’t even told his Cassettes yet…

Just as he was about to stand up and head out, he heard the door panels to the room slide open. He leaned further against the chair, teetering it just enough that if he moved any further it would fully fall over with him right on it.

At first, he couldn’t see who had entered the room, then as he turned his gaze down, he found a familiar white frame come into view.

“Awwww, hey buddy. Aren’t you supposed to be having your energon, right now?” Soundwave quickly sat upright, reaching down for the small sparkling who happily reached up.

Little blue wing panels fluttered as Megatron settled on Soundwave’s lap. Now that he was closer, Soundwave noticed that the sparkling had brought an energon cube with him. Patting his helm encouragingly, he waited for Megatron to refuel. Shockwave was usually in charge of giving Megatron his energon, yet Soundwave didn’t mind if the sparkling wanted to stay with him for some reason. 

Like, he was a little envious that Starscream and Shockwave usually got to have the sparkling. Not that Soundwave minded, he knew it would be boring for Megatron if he was cooped up inside like Soundwave was.

And like, Megatron probably wouldn’t be so fond of the music Soundwave played. Most of the High Guard already complained about the music, but hey, if they wanted good music they should have brought some over before they had fled Iacon.

With one servo carefully around the sparkling in case he suddenly moved, Soundwave slowly scooted over to the broadcast system and lowered the volume even more. Sparkling audials were so sensitive. Even if Megatron was not a fussy sparkling, being so quiet all the time that it was concerning, Soundwave wanted him to be comfortable in the broadcasting room. 

Nobody ever goes inside to visit unless they needed to talk to him, or if it was his cassettes coming back to tell him what they saw in their reconnaissance missions, or if it was Starscream about to give him an order. Soundwave would like Megatron to know that he was always welcome in the broadcasting room.

He glanced down again at the sparkling on his lap, shaking his helm as he realized that throughout his internal ramblings, Megatron hadn’t taken a single bite out of the energon… which… Shockwave did teach him how to eat on his own, right?

“That.” Soundwave pointed at the energon, drawing Megatron’s attention as blue optics stared up at him curiously. He directed his digit to his face, wincing slightly as he realized that he still had his battlemask on. “Goes into the intake.”

He repeated the action, hoping that Megatron could understand him. After doing it for the third time, Megatron shook his helm, a small pout appearing on his dermas as he held up the energon. Small servos were wrapped around it carefully, as if he was afraid he would drop it.

Guess Shockwave didn’t teach Megatron to refuel yet.

Soundwave didn’t mind. He pried the energon away from Megatron’s grip, holding it in the palm of his servo so that the sparkling could see it. Instead of throwing a fit (because Soundwave could still fondly recall how his Cassettes used to be upset each time they thought he was taking their energon away from them, oh they were so cute back then, though they were still just as adorable!), Megatron looked very happy that Soundwave had taken the energon.

“Okay, little buddy, let’s take your energon, then you can play and have a good recharge later, how’s that sound?”

He moved the energon closer, hoping that would be enough to make Megatron take a bite. Yet instead of what Soundwave wanted, Megatron’s optics narrowed and a small frown took over the smile that was on his dermas. Soundwave tilted his helm, trying to think of how Shockwave or Starscream did this.

“Uh… oh! Here comes the train, choo choo!” He tried to mimic the noises of the cargo trains, as he’s seen Shockwave do this. Still, even as he tried to press the energon, Megatron did not budge and got even more upset as he glared up at Soundwave.

“Okay, little buddy, you need to like totally work with me here cause I don’t know what you want.” He handed the energon back to Megatron, who quickly snatched it away from him with a small huff. “Ah! Don’t be mad at me, little guy, I’m only trying to help you.”

Megatron shook his helm, rolling his optics (a habit that Soundwave knows came from Starscream as it practically mimicked the flight commander’s same look of exasperation) before reaching the cube out towards him. He hadn’t learned to form any words yet, so Megatron just let out a long beep.

Soundwave stared at the energon, his confusion slowly disappearing as he realized what the problem was.

He checked his chronometer.

Megatron already did refuel. Soundwave knew how meticulous Shockwave was, so of course he wouldn’t have missed Megatron’s refuel time. 

So that meant—

“OH! Is this for me?” He picked the energon up again, eliciting a beep from Megatron who pointed at the cube before reaching up to poke Soundwave’s battlemask. Soundwave couldn’t help but laugh, feeling so silly. Megatron must think he was being very, very ridiculous. “Awww, thank you. You didn’t have to.”

Reluctantly, Soundwave unlatched the battlemask. He quickly slapped the servo that held the energon to his lower face, swallowing the energon immediately before the battlemask hissed close.

Even his own cassettes haven’t seen him without it, and… Soundwave didn’t think he could show his actual face to anyone yet.

He glanced down at Megatron, who had looked away as Soundwave refueled. 

Soundwave couldn’t help it, he brought the sparkling into a hug. “So respectful! You’re never that nice to Starscream!”

Megatron giggled, servos hugging Soundwave back.

Maybe one day Soundwave could gain the courage to show his face.

But for now, he was happy as he was.

[ticklygiggles]

Lovelynim's tickletober Day 2: Accident

Ichikawa Giichi x Kikuchihara Jin

A/N: Day two! Big thanks to lovely @ppystkposts for requesting these two 😍 I'm so happy this manga got an anime because it's SO GOOD! I hope you enjoy it, cutie MWAH 💕

So far, in the story of my life...

"This time I really messed up!" Jin groaned in despair, looking at the mess on the floor.

This is what he got for taking things without permission. You shouldn't assume that your partner's things belong to you... especially when you know that there are things that don't really belong to them. Like that exquisite limited edition manga he just ruined!

Jin thought it would be a good idea, a very innocent good idea, to borrow the second volume of the bl manga that Giichi had lent him last night. He sat comfortably on the floor with his back leaning on Giichi's bed, the manga in one hand and a can of soda that Rei had given him in the other. Who would have thought that he would fall asleep for who knows how long and that when he woke up he would find that not only had the manga fallen from his hand, but also the soda can and the liquid had fallen on the book, completely damaging it.

Jin didn't even try to dry it, the soda had literally fallen on the manga like a fountain, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fix it with absolutely anything.

Giichi was going to kill him. Worse yet, he was going to break up with him! He could hear him already: 'Didn't I tell you clearly that these mangas belong to my little sister?! Couldn't you just wait for me to arrive?!'

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no- eek!"

"Hi. I'm ba-"

"I am so sorry!" Jin yelled lifting the still dripping book up for Giichi to look at it. "I am so so so sorry! I swear it was an accident! I was dr-drinking some soda and then I fell asleep and- and it was all Rei's fault because he gave it to me! Agh, of course it wasn't his fault, I just-"

"Please tell me that's not a limited edition one."

"... I'm so sorry."

Jin flinched when he heard Giichi sighing heavily, looking up at him he saw him throwing his backpack to the side and rubbing his temples as he closed the door behind him.

"I'm so sorry! I'll- I'll get a new one! No matter what I'll definitely get it!"

"Do you even know what 'limited edition' means?"

Jin flinched. Of course he knew... it meant it was limited as in you can't get it anywhere else. He groaned, finally letting the dirty manga fall on the floor.

"I- I promise I'll get it! Punish me, Ichikawa Giichi, but please don't break up with me!" Jin clasped his hands together in prayer, his eyes nearly filled with tears. "Please!"

Giichi sighed again and he nodded. "Fine." Jin flinched when Giichi suddenly fell on his knees in front of him. "Just know that I'll punish you until I think it's enough."

Something fluttered in Jin's chest, his cheeks flushing. No! Why was he getting excited over a punishment?! He nodded, gulping and closing his eyes.

"You also need to clean up this mess."

"I-I will, I prom- ahahaha!" Ridiculous, bubbly giggles erupted from his lips when Giichi suddenly grabbed his sides and squeezed them, tickling him. Jin squirmed, widening his eyes for one second before he shut them tightly again. "W-Wahahahait! Not thihihis!"

He tried to hold his laughter, gritting his teeth and whining, but it was impossible. He has always been terribly ticklish and he hated the day Giichi had found about it during one of their intimate times. He had simply brushed his spine a bit too lightly, and Jin was a giggly mess in seconds.

He should've known Giichi would choose this punishment.

"Quiet down. You're being too loud."

"It tihihihickles! H-How cahahan Ihihi- ahahah! N-No, nohohot thehehere!" Jin was almost sure he heard Giichi chuckling, but with his loud, high-pitched laughter, he couldn't really tell.

Giichi's fingers moved up and down Jin's torso at maddening speed, preventing Jin from getting too used to one spot before jumping to the other. Jin fell back onto the floor and Giichi easily straddled him, finding that horribly ticklish spot on the back of Jin's ribs, very close to his spine. Jin squealed overwhelmingly loudly as he threw his head back and arched his body up, trying to escape Giichi's fingers, but he couldn't, and it was entirely his fault for ruining something that wasn't even his.

He deserved this... but he was still too ticklish and couldn't help but squirm and laugh uncontrollably, blushing up to his ears and feeling tears of laughter running down the sides of his face.

"You're already crying? I'm barely starting, you know?"

Ah, he would definitely never take anything without permission ever again.

BONUS SCENE

"You know...," Giichi said after he finished wrecking Jin. The poor third year was gasping and twitching after enduring the tickling of his life. "That really wasn't the limited edition one. It just has a different cover, that's all."

Jin blinked a couple of times before he lifted his face to look at Giichi, oh that little shit was smirking down at him. "You-! Then why did you- AHAHAHA! Nohoho! N-No, plehehease!"

"Because you shouldn't even grab my stuff without my permission. Serves you right."

Serves him right, indeed.

[wutheringmights]

Another book round up! I don't have a good reason why I was not posting about these books as I was reading them, other than I was just feeling too lazy to do a full write up. And I know how much you all miss my long-ass rambles about books no one cares about.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 4.5/5⭐️

This is another book club read, and probably my favorite thing my book club has made me read this year. I have been putting off reading anything by Novik for years, and I sorely regret it now. From the first sentence (which is one of the best openers I've read for a book in a long time), I was hooked. Ensnared. Besotted. I stayed up until 2am one night just burning through the pages. This made me feel like I was thirteen again, sprinting through a book I randomly found at the library.

My favorite parts of Uprooted is the way it takes a story I would have read as a kid and updates it for adults. It's dark and mature in ways that feel grown, all without losing its sense my whimsy. I only have two complaints.

The first: I wish we spent more time playing around with the "maiden in the dragon's lair" trope. It's the obvious place the story sprung from, and I just think we abandoned it for court politics way too soon. And second: once you get to the court politics, the pacing slows significantly, and I had a hard time pushing through the last 200 pages.

Really happy I read this. I'm definitely going to read more Novik again.

--

Fangirl, Vol 1: The Manga Adapted by Sam Maggs and Illustrated by Gabi Nam; Based on the novel by Rainbow Rowell

Genre: Coming of age, romance

Rating: 5/5⭐️

Normally, I would not count any comic I read (like three volumes of Mao by Rumiko Takahashi I devoured a few weeks back), but I'm making an exception. I would have reread the original Fangirl if I didn't conveniently have this from the library when I needed the emotional comfort last week.

Fangirl is one of my favorite books. It is in my opinion the perfect example of a YA coming of age story. I know Rowell is controversial, but she has a really good way of writing character drama. This book is marketed as being a manifesto to fandom, but frankly, the fanfiction stuff is the least impactful part of the story.

I like reading about Cather struggling to grow up. I love the drama between her and her sister, and her messy home situation. The romance is also really sweet, and it plays out wonderfully. I read it multiple times now, and it still makes me melt. I read Fangirl at this moment in my life where I just needed to read about someone struggling to make that transition into adulthood, and it hits perfectly.

The adaptation to manga really works. Unlike some other novel to comic adaptations I've read, this one does a really good job at cutting out the narration to let the art do the storytelling. And styling it as a manga is such a good choice. If there were more volumes available at my library, I would read them right away.

--

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

Genre: non-fiction, politics

Rating: 4/5 ⭐

I mentioned before that I am in the research stages of an original novel that involves my reading a lot about the far right. I've been eyeing this book as a part of that research for a long time now, and I finally got off my butt long enough to actually read it.

As a source on misogyny and violent patriarchy in white evangelical religion, it does a great job. I took a lot of notes, and Du Mez does a great job at exploring how the patriarchy and religion interplay with each other. However, this book is marketed as explaining how that bled into politics and explains how Trump 1.0 happened, and that's where it felt a little weaker. Not bad, but it's clear that Du Mez specializes in the intersection of gender and religion, as opposed to political policy.

As a personal preference, I wish Du Mez included more long excerpts of the speeches, books, and manifestos she discussed. Everything is properly cited, but she often summarizes them in her own words, and I would have loved to have looked at more specific quotes.

[spockandawe]

I'm so close to catching up with my books! Here we have the triumph of time, again, as a vellucent binding, again. And this may not look super different to you from my last iteration of this project! The differences were VERY process-driven and hard to photograph, but I pinky swear that there are incremental but noticeable improvements, and i would never mix up editions irl.

First up, refresher, vellucent binding is when there's a protective layer of vellum floating over your cover illustration, protecting it. Or. If you're cheap. Paper vellum. My first time around, I realized as soon as I got the vellum paper wet that oh shit, this REALLY has a grain, and it is the opposite of what my books want. It's the first time I've ever been punished for ignoring grain, though, so I can't complain. I pressed on anyways, because what is even the point of fucking around if you aren't bold enough to find out? As a result, my vellum on the first set has noticeable wrinkles, despite only the turn-ins being glued down, and it all floats more than i wish. You have to smooth it with your fingers to really SEE the detail in the images.

So, naturally, my second time, I got bigger vellum paper, covered the whole thing in paste, plopped my covers onto there, and planned to smooth the wrinkles out. Yeahhhh, that... it was fairly forgiving in the one volume with a primarily white background, and was a goddamn nightmare on the three illustrations.

Lesson one: paper vellum is like a sandworm that wants to curl up and die at the first touch of moisture. Lesson two: it wants to hurt you. PUNISH you. Lesson three: no seriously it is so much more difficult and unforgiving than any other material I've sampled yet. The wallet cost of actual vellum may be outweighed by the emotional cost of this shit.

Naturally, I am bewitched and determined to science it into submission.

For the record: v1 (turn-ins glued, wrong grain) in the bottom left, v2 (paste everywhere, abandoned on the curb without text blocks to warp and writhe as they please) in the top center, and v3 (turn-ins glued, correct grain, more effort to pull tension on the vellum) in the bottom right. I'm not done experimenting by any means, but i need to stop for a minute until i nail the process, to save my poor toner cartridges

But the books themselves! Even though i still see ways to polish my own process, i am DELIGHTED with them. The pull of the paper vellum still wants to introduce slack and wrinkles to the cover as it dries, but there's much less! The moment you get adhesive on paper vellum you commit to a fight to the death, but I'm getting better at handling and anticipating it!

There's a level of polish in the assembly of this set that was lacking in my first and second attempts at the covers. Even if it isn't perfect yet, I'm learning so much, and have new ideas for how to troubleshoot. The idea of making this bookbinding style more accessible and affordable fills me with so much delight, I can't even articulate it. I'm still very much an amateur myself, there are lots of professional best practices I can only speak to in the abstract. Pinning down something this niche and luxurious would make me so happy. Future science will be done on single-volume sets, probably after I'm done moving, but it's at the top of my to do list!! And when it's perfected, I'm for SURE coming back to this series, it's one of my all-time faves, I want to give it the fanciest treatment my hands can devise.

[jacqcrisis]

I just remembered the core memory of when I was in high school and Twilight was in its heyday which pissed me VERY MUCH OFF as someone who read it when the first book came out on a rec from a friend who was so offbase with that because fuck me I hated that book at 14 and even more so when it got popular two years later-

ANYWAYS, Twilight is big and popular, and I'm in Barnes and Noble glaring at the stand with all the Twilight-like books cause I do love vampires but there's nothing for queer little ole me. 'Interview With the Vampire is my life' teen Jacq was suffering so bad. So I pop over the manga section, looking for possible shonen-ai/yaoi (which was rarely labeled as such so it was like looking for a needle in a haystack) when I stumble upon this:

Oh, I say to myself. Interesting. I flip it over to the back and read:

"Charlie, a cyborg/vampire who does the Vatican's dirty work-"

SOLD. I read no more. I don't need to read anymore, as nothing could prepare me for what I found inside.

I'm shaking as I go to the front and buy it immediately, so excited to read something that sounds so truly up my alley. I go home and consume some of the horniest, kinkiest vampire non-sex I had yet seen in my brief time on this earth between the aforementioned Charlie and the guy on the cover who is a fuck boy and the best boy mixed in with a pretty good story and romance. This series consumed me for the rest of my high school life as I was constantly on the lookout for new volumes. Even to this day, this is genuinely my favorite manga series, and it has a very cute happy ending and, as a shock to no one, informs a lot of my stupid writing trope habits.

This is a recommendation to go read Vassalord if you like vampires, cyborgs, horny blasphemy, pining, getting stabbed sexily, and one dude trying really hard not to fuck the other dude who's trying really hard to get the dude to fuck him while they fight crime and other vampires. It's great.

[whisperedfantasy]

The Sweetest Sounds: Chapter 1

Pairing: Ken/F!Reader Genre: Idolverse, Romance, Slow burn Rating: M (eventually) Word Count: 3,277 General content warnings for whole series: misogyny(a little, as a treat), possessiveness, alcohol use, sexual themes, (eventual) D/S. More warnings will be added if applicable.

Description: You and your good friend Jaehwan are cast in the upcoming musical Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. Little do either of you know, the romance is not exclusive to the stage. In your line of work, where reality often blurs, will your feelings come to the surface or remain fiction? AN: This piece of fiction is loosely based off of Ken's appearance in the 2015 production of Cinderella. All depictions of real people are based off of public personas only and in no way reflect real life. Please be warned that although the chapters start off PG-13, the plan is to delve into more mature themes. i.e. smut. ---

You

While cleaning off your goopy toothbrush, you hear your phone vibrating on the end table in your bedroom. Irritated, you rush back in. The first meeting of the day wasn't for another hour or so. You yawn and rub your eyes while picking up the phone. You see his name as they adjust. Jaehwan Oppa. "Hello—" "Good morning, Cinderella!" You rip the phone away as he belts into your ear. Delicately, you ease the phone back up and you clear your throat. "Alright, what gives? Since when are you coherent at this hour? And don't you mean Sleeping Beauty?" The man on the other line chuckles, returning to a more expected volume. "No, Y/N. I mean you booked the role, for the musical, Cinderella."

"Excuse me?" Your brain buzzes as if it's on a dial-up connection. Suddenly, the questions pour from your mouth before you can think of them. "Why isn't my manager telling me this? How did you know I even auditioned?" Your eyes roll as you hear the most overacted disappointment Jaehwan is capable of. "I know, wait till Seokjin hears about this too. He'll be just devastated." The dork's final word stretches to impose guilt. The corners of your mouth perk up. He always knew how to make you smile. Good thing this wasn't a video call. "Oh my sincerest apologies, but you've both been busy with your recent comebacks. Care to answer my other question?" His voice perks up again, drawing out his words to build anticipation. "Well, I just got out of a meeting with my manager, casting director, the like. They broke the news to me that they had put you down after your audition—" "Why—" "Can I finish?" His voice rises to a shriek, your phone once again briefly rips from your ear. "Go ahead." "I was having this meeting, because I've been cast as Christopher. I just found out myself, and they told me who my opposite is gonna be." He pauses. "You. We'll be working together on stage!" The plush texture of the carpet nearly kisses your jaw. Feeling the silence linger, you feel the need to fill the space. More questions spill from your mouth. "What?! How did you even find the time to audition? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you—for both of us—and I'm sure you nailed the audition, but—" Jaehwan's words seem to catch you. "Y/N, it's okay, slow down," he says, a warm giggle in his voice. "My manager saw how much I enjoyed acting in Chess and thought this might be a nice break from my normal schedule. And an opportunity to challenge my oh-so-charming voice." Despite the hyperbole, he isn't wrong. He's still early in his career and already has one of the best singing voices in the industry. Guess this is only fitting for someone with his kind of talent. The two of you have bonded over the stage plenty of times as well. This would likely, hopefully, be a good experience. A sigh of relief slowly exits your body. If you had known you landed the role, you might have gotten a bit more sleep. "Well, I suppose that's what my meeting was gonna be about. Thanks for that. I'm sure we'll work hard and have plenty of fun with it." "You bet. I could hardly contain myself, but try to fake a surprise for your team though, huh? For my sake?" A nervous, forced laughter comes from your phone speaker. He clears his throat. "But uh, I was gonna ask. Would you be free anytime today or tomorrow to talk about the show a bit more? I wanna hear about your audition and talk game plans." "Game plans? Uh, yeah, I should be free in the early evening. Only have a few things on the calendar today. You wanna come over?" You pause, considering. "Around 4:30?" He hardly lets you finish before popping back in. "I'm there! Say, what size shoe do you wear?" "Goodbye." You hang up the phone and throw it onto the bed.

The news hits you full force. You did it. You booked. You're going to be playing Cinderella. And Lee Jaehwan is going to be your prince.

As the latter realization hit, your shaking hands begin to cover your face. A pathetic attempt to hide. A small, ever-conspicuous part of you exploded with butterflies. Then, familiar and engrossing nausea. A nausea you've barely repressed since Jin introduced you to Jaehwan's sickeningly sweet smile three years ago. And his deep, piercing eyes you could drown in anytime they caught you in their crosshairs. And—

Letting your thoughts wander wouldn't help you get through the day, or this role. After slowly peeking out between your fingers, you do your best to shake it all off and finish getting ready for your meeting. Who knows how you're going to fake a surprise in this state. Fuck. --- Alright. Clothes changed, makeup removed, you don't smell. The polite amount of snacks are spread across the coffee table. Your fellow members are otherwise occupied. Surely this is the best case scenario. Except it isn't. If it was, you and Jaehwan wouldn't be playing love interests on stage. It shouldn't be a big deal, you've appeared together on the job. You've spent your free time together, both with others and alone. This should be as normal as normal gets in your life. So why don't you feel that way? You know why. Ever since he emerged fresh from his debut you've admired him. 4:28. What if he got caught up at work? You start tapping your foot with your breath caught in your lungs. What if he got in an accident? What if? God, why am I asking myself all these questions? I'm so annoying. That's probably why he isn't— Bzzzzzzzt. Your phone again. Is he here? You snatch it from the coffee table.

Nope. It's Seokjin. Worldwide Oppa: Y/N! So ecstatic to hear you got the part! I always knew you were a princess in disguise. And don't worry, my wounds are healing just fine. ;-) 4:28PM What a goof. You: Ahaaaaaaaa. Thanks, appreciate the support as always <3 Truly beside myself to hear about your damages, but I guess I just lost track of time. >;) 4:28PM Worldwide Oppa: Oof. My ego. Nah, that's alright. I get busy too. Already have my front row ticket for opening night though, gotta be there for you two. All part of the job, of course. 4:29PM You shake your head. Jin's a pillar of sincerity and loyalty. Well, they both are. It feels nice to have that. You: lol well we don't even have scripts, so there's definitely no tickets for sale yet. But Oppa and I will pull as many strings as necessary for you to sit exactly where you need to. :) 4:30PM Your muscles begin to loosen, if only for a moment. You have some damn good friends celebrating you. A loud banging invades your eardrums accompanied by a startling "Y/N-a," somehow echoing through your dorm despite coming from the hall. "Let me in, please!" ---

Jaehwan Jaehwan repeatedly thwops his head onto the seat rest. "Can't we go any faster?" He forces an exaggerated sigh.

Hakyeon crosses his arms. "How much faster do you expect us to go in bumper-to-bumper traffic? How long have you lived in this city?" Here comes the lecture. "I wish you were as timely about work meetings that don't involve her. Are we not pretty enough for you? Hmm?" Jaehwan stutters. "I'm just excited about being on the stage again. Can't a guy dream?" His senses are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of metal death traps outside. "I thought you'd be happy about my work ethic. My opportunities." His leader shoots an evil eye in his direction. "I am, but you didn't have to wake up the whole dorm this morning while serenading your opportunities." Brushing Jaehwan's shoulder with his own, he smirks. Hyuk chimes in. "You know, you might have Y/N fooled, but we see through your pointless facade." His eyebrow raises, ready to pounce. "You really should just plant one on her before someone else does. She's a cutie." Jaehwan's whining becomes a yell as his insecurity flares. "Shut up!" He startles the driver, who truly should be used to this by now. Maybe he did like you? Was that a crime? So what if his heels rise every time you enter the room, it's good for stretching! "Enough." Hakyeon warns, trying to avoid a car wreck. Hyuk buries himself into his seat and mumbles just loud enough for others to hear. "Chicken shit." Jaehwan taps his foot. "Look, hyung, we're practically at her dorm now, can't I just bounce here?" He says, relenting his due respect. "I have my mask, sunglasses, everything. No one's gonna see me." Hakyeon shuts him down. "Absolutely not. What if someone follows our car? Are you going to take responsibility for that, brat?" Taekwoon waves his hand dismissively. "Just let him go, it's fine." Hakyeon grows quiet. Jaehwan sneakily opens his door at the next red light. "Gonna take that as a yes, see you guys at home!" His heart is thumping in his ribs before he even starts to run. He's not even late, time has just been dragging all. day. long. Guess it couldn't hurt, he thinks, passing a flower shop on the way. He wouldn't be late. Not this time. Jaehwan addresses the shopkeeper on his way out. "Hey, thanks again! She's gonna love them!" He hurries towards his destination. He's all smiles, at least until he enters the lobby. Instead of VIXX's Ken, he envisions himself as Prince Christopher, standing on the steps of the palace with a slipper made of glass in his unsteady hand. If it were to drop, things would surely change for the worse. He's survived on a diet of stolen glances and regurgitated confidence until now. His members know it, Seokjin knows it, he knows it. The masked idol drags his heavy chest into the elevator. He can't admit his feelings, not until he improves. He has to be the man you deserve. Do you even feel a sliver of the way he does for you? Would you even bother waiting for him, if so? Or will he always just be silly, goofball Jyani? The doubt seems neverending. Jaehwan and his chest stumble onto your floor. Just a regular hangout. He asked for this. He stands at the door for what seems like an eternity. Frozen. "C'mon, Jyani, get a grip!" He takes his mask off before his palm begins slamming against the door. "Y/N-a! Let me in, please!" ---

You Taken by surprise, you hurry to the door. You can do this. It's just Jaehwan. You're used to hanging out without letting your heart bleed. After twisting the doorknob open, you see him standing there, still with his typical makeup and press uniform on. Towering over you. Ignoring that his arms are behind his back, you look him up and down and chuckle. "Thanks for stopping by, Ken-ssi. No collar this time?" He looks puzzled, so you point to his perfectly done hair and makeup. Jaehwan nods his head in realization. "Ah no, had to leave it with the stylist." He shrugs his shoulders before bringing his arms in front of you, bowing his head just a smidge, avoiding eye contact. "These are for you. I hope we work well together in the future." In front of you is a beautiful bouquet of white roses surrounded by baby's breath, wrapped with vibrant royal blue cloth. Arms hugging your torso with discomfort and eyebrows practically glued to your bangs, you move forward to get a better look. "Oh, Oppa, you really didn't have to—" He puts a palm in the air, stopping you. "Nothing a friend wouldn't do when finding out about your new opportunity." He stutters. "It was no trouble, really." You can feel your eyes unfocus into one of the petals. Right. Friends. This is what friends do. Of course. You knew that. "They're beautiful," you say sincerely, before looking up to attempt to meet his face with a gentle smile. "Thank you, just wish I would have thought to do the same. Dinner's on me?" "Sure…" he looks down at the roses, "never gonna pass up a free meal." The already very well-off idol declares. "Gonna find some water for these though, alright?" Humming a sound of agreement, you close the door as he rummages through your cabinets. He's been here enough to know where to look. "Ah—" He snaps his fingers, finding a suitable vase, then filling it with water. After moving the flowers to a nearby window, he motions to the hallway. "You have enough makeup wipes for me to take my face off?" While he's making his way towards the bathroom, you reply, "Yep. If not, they're in the cabinet." "Thank you~" His belting voice echoes through the hallway and into the bathroom. You can't help but laugh. While bringing your volume up to match his antics, you pull out your phone. "How goes the promotions?" Your body rests against the wall, pulling up your favored delivery app. Jaehwan's voice gets even louder to accommodate the faucet turning on. "Pretty fantastic, all things considered." You hear some splashes. "Even the b-sides are getting recognition from the charts, more Starlight babies every day." Chained Up was getting plenty of attention in the public eye, and it wasn't just due to the unexpected visuals. VIXX's talent and work ethic was really paying off, and you were happy to see things work out so well for your seniors. Jaehwan steps out from the bathroom, patting his face dry with a towel. He shakes his hair out of his face before rapidly blinking his eyes. You're relieved the room feels more quiet again. He says something that you don't quite catch due to seeing his bare face displaying his natural beauty. Somehow something so simple, so normal to you every other day, is setting off fireworks in your eyes. "Y/N?" Jaehwan's voice pops your bubble. "What was on you agenda today? Don't tell me you're ignoring me." His plump lips pout a half smile at you before eyeing down the snacks on the coffee table. "Me? Never. You insult my manners, good sir." Dramatically matching his own game with a curtsy, you recover. "Ah, well, aside from that meeting, nothing exciting." You sit down on the couch, him following your lead to the recliner. "Just the typical rehearsal and team meetings." Tossing him your phone to order, you continue, "Jin oppa texted me earlier to congratulate us, which was nice. Him and the boys seem to be swamped this month." "Sounds like Bangtan. He's always got his hands full when a comeback comes around." Jaehwan hands your phone back, and you see a payment confirmation screen.

Staring at it, your face sours and you mumble. "I said I was treating you." "It's not your job to pay for me." He frowns and stares at the floor. "I'm your Oppa and it's your first musical." A few moments of silence go by before he pipes up. "So, what song did you use to bewitch the casting director?" You look back up at Jaehwan's face that just won't give you a break today. "Somewhere That's Green for the first round, then for the callback they asked for In My Own Little Corner." You put your phone onto the coffee table, still a bit irritated by his previous action "About 40 minutes, by the way." Jaehwan nods in oblivious approval. "I like it, sounds like you made the right choice." Tapping his leg, not meeting your eyes, he continues. "I went with Edelweiss for the first round, then they had me do some segments from Ten Minutes Ago but then also Agony from Into the Woods?" He looks back and away from you, hesitating. "Guess they wanted to hear me yearn, I dunno." "Your range lends well to yearning, you shouldn't be surprised." You start fidgeting with your nails while ignoring the heat of your blush loosening you up. "What racks my brain, though, is why they didn't do a chemistry test for the first pair to play the characters." Jaehwan reaches for a drink. "Well, we've done variety together and our friendship is known, so they likely saw what they needed to. And they know we have the talent." He twists the cap off. "Saves them money, too. You know the drill." Corporations being corporations, a practice you knew all too well with the part you play. Still though, was your chemistry with Jaehwan, or Ken, impressive enough to warrant full confidence? The thought lingers for a moment before passing. Maybe others saw what you didn't. Maybe your members comments about him weren't just teasing. Were you dense? You cut yourself off before you slip into yet another daydream. Jaehwan claps his hands together gently. "Anyway," voice perking up. "Since we don't have our scripts yet, shall we practice the songs while we wait? I imagine it'll be harder after we stuff our faces." He pats his stomach and sulks. "Bloated burps will harm my precious charm." Taking a sip of water, you bring up lyrics on the television while chuckling at his sentiment. As if harming his precious charm was even possible. "Probably best to do that now, yeah." After joining him in some vocal warmups, you stare him down for a challenge. "Show me what you've got, Christopher." Jaehwan cracks his knuckles. "Oh you don't know what you just got yourself into, Princess." Princess. You liked the sound of that coming from his mouth. A chill runs up your back, but not quite goosebumps. The two of you practice the expected songs from your upcoming musical. Every note Jaehwan sings, your heart flutters. As your voices swell, your heels rise. His voice hypnotizes you. Your shared craft brings you closer by the second. When your eyes connect, cool glass forms around your feet. Jaehwan's clothes blur into a dashing white cravat and coat. As your armor begins to fracture, the sharp sound of plastic against wood jolts you back to reality. Clearing the blissful haze from your mind, you're unsure if the front desk just ruined your night or saved it.

You go down together to retrieve your spoils. After returning with the bags, he moves the flowers to the dining room table as you sit down. The first few bites in and his muffled lilting sounds express his delight. If he noticed your near-undoing, he doesn't mention it. Once the meal is complete Jaehwan helps himself to your rubber gloves and prepares to wash the dishes. As you clear the tables, you can't help but steal short glances at him. Realizing the gloves are the same shade of blue as the roses were wrapped in, you stare for just a moment too long. Before you know it he's looking your way with a reassuring grin tugging one side of his mouth. Your first foray as Cinderella lingers in your mind once the night ends. Thoughts of being Jaehwan's anything, much less his princess, seems impossible. Your rehearsal replays in your mind over and over again as you stumble into bed. While instinctively gripping the nearest pillow, you allow yourself to get just a little lost before the real thing starts next week. Today has opened a box that you can't close. It was just as glorious as it was terrifying.

[electricea]

Get to know me better!

Alias / Name: Jassi - some people call me Jas or Jazz, I remember early on a friend just started me calling 'Jassi' as a nickname and it stuck.

Birthday: November 22nd.

Zodiac Sign: My birthday is a weird day for Zodiac signs - some sources will swear I'm a Scorpio, others will say I'm a Sagittarius - I guess personality-wise I'd align closer to Scorpio but it's tough to say.

Height: Haven't been measured since like high school gym class lol but I'd say 5'0.

Hobbies: Writing, reading, role-playing games, puzzles, model kits.

Favourite Colour: I've always liked blue especially light blue - sky blue. I also really like any colour that's like a cyan or turquoise or aquamarine.

Favourite Book: Currently, Blue Lock - I've been obsessed with it since last Christmas and seeing the movie has only kind of intensified that lmao.

Last Song: Stormy by Nissiy x SKY-HI.

Last Movie / Show: I had the dumbass idea last night to start a movie at like 1am so I had to pause it and sleep but I got halfway through The King of Comedy, as for last show I think it would be Delicious in Dungeon since I was streaming it with a friend.

Recent Read: Haven't read anything terribly recently but there's a lot of great manga volumes coming out this month.

Inspiration: I kind of take inspiration from all around me as opposed to one person or a thing - it's hard to explain, but I just feel like my head is always bouncing around with plot ideas or things Ryuji would like. Inspiration has always just come naturally to me.

Story Behind Your URL: When I rebooted my blog a few years ago and decided to come back to Tumblr after a year long hiatus I was agonizing over a new URL - picking a new URL as well as working on a theme are probably two of my least favourite parts of Tumblr and a friend threw out the suggestion - it's a play on the words 'electricity' and was clever, in my opinion, so I give them full credit.

Fun Fact: Uh, I like turtles? (Both the animal and the chocolate - lol sorry I'm really bad of thinking of fun facts on the fly.)

Tagged by: @scarlxtleaves (Thank you - was cool getting to read yours and get to know you a bit as well!)

Tagging: Honestly I'd be happy to get to know any one of you better so feel free to steal this from me and give your answers!

[yourghastlycloseness]

wikipedia articles sometimes have the best pull quotes

this one’s on lolo ferrari

She had 22 enlargements, which is a Guinness World Record.[9] The Guinness Book of Records (2003) indicates each of her breasts weighed 2.8 kilograms (6.2 lb) and contained three litres of saline.

She wore a specially engineered brassiere. Her brassiere measurements have been given by various sources as 58F,[10] 54G,[11] although these measurements appear false, as breasts of similar size have a bra size of around 36T or 36MMM. The breast implants themselves were reputed to be designed by an engineer who was involved with the design of the Boeing 747.[5]

In interviews, she said about her surgeries, "All this stuff has been because I can't stand life. But it hasn't changed anything" and "I was frightened and I was ashamed; I wanted to change my face, my body, to transform myself. I wanted to die, really."

and these from a guardian article

"For my mouth," she said in 1996, "we removed my Cupid's bow, tucked the mucous membranes up to my nose, and filled my lips with collagen. There's no particularly odd feeling or anything, but I have to put lipsalve on all the time. I adore being operated on. I feel wonderful in clinics. I love the feeling of a general anaesthetic - falling into this black hole and knowing I'm being altered as I sleep."

The breasts went first to 41in, then to 46in. They were desensitised and the skin was stretched nearly to bursting point. Ferrari lived in constant fear, as she mimed her songs and took off her clothes in club after club around Europe, that some madman would jump up on the stage and try to puncture them.

Beyond 46in, it became increasingly hard to find a plastic surgeon willing to take on the job. A couple of years ago, Vigne described the operation that made her a monstrous 54G. "I calculated the volume, the diameter, I drew up the plans and I took them to a guy I know who designs fuselage moulds for the aeronautics industry," he said.

"The designer made the moulds, and I gave them to a prosthetics maker who produced the empty silicone implants. It took a long, long time to find a surgeon willing to perform the operation. He removed the old implants and replaced them with the new. Each one was filled with two litres of serum. A bit later we increased it to three."

Ferrari insisted she was happy with the changes that were made to her body. "Having a big bust comforts me," she told yet another French interviewer. "It makes me more sure of myself. I'm like a transvestite - I've created a femininity that's completely artificial. But I'd like to have even bigger breasts. I can't because there are medical problems - you can't stretch the skin any more."

It frightened her, she said, to think of herself as skin, bone and blood. She wore a ring on every finger and dozens of bracelets and bangles; she painted her long fingernails pink. Her skin was the one thing she couldn't change, so she covered it with jewellery and makeup. If she didn't, she would have anxiety attacks, feeling, she said, that she was suddenly back with her old face.

[nonsubstantial]

FEBRUARY 2024 ART FASCINATION DIARY

If you missed my post last month, then I'll briefly explain that I thought it would be fun to write a short diary post each month, about the art that I've been obsessed with. Then, I can easily look back and remember what was making me happy all throughout 2024. If you are reading this, then I hope you will enjoy hearing about these things, or checking them out too!!!

MEMOIR / AUDIOBOOK: The Anthropocene Reviewed is John Green's memoir, framed as a collection of reviews of seemingly random aspects of 'the current geologic age'. I want to note that I had never finished any other John Green book, so I was going into this one as more of a hater than a fan. However, I was unexpectedly moved by it and now consider it one of the greatest books I've ever experienced. I also want to note that listening to the audiobook, narrated by John Green himself, really added a lot to the experience (including two additional chapters). Despite the subject matter being intensely personal, the genius of this memoir is that, by framing it as a collection of reviews, John Green is able to place greater emphasis on things outside of himself. Rather than just narrating his singular experiences, he creates a memoir to celebrate and sympathize with all life on planet Earth. It is informative and humbling— fascinating and earnest. I want to highly recommend this book (or audiobook) to everyone, because I feel like it will genuinely enrich your soul. There are chapters that will probably make you cry, but in a way that is healing and constructive. I give The Anthropocene Reviewed... 5 stars.

REALITY / GAME SHOW: RuPaul's Drag Race season 16 started in January of 2024, and has remained as my favorite thing on television for these past two months. It's another example of something that I had no interest in, until I was forced to watch it, and then it became one of my favorite things ever. Obviously, take all reality television with a grain of salt, but if you can do that then it's extremely inspiring to see the immense amount of talent that every contestant brings to the runway. I'm not really into fashion, but even I can appreciate the blend of comedy, creativity, and practiced technique that's on display here. These performers really do tell stories with their drag, and I look at the artform much differently than I did before I started watching. It has made every Saturday something to look forward to, and if you've never checked it out before, then I've got to recommend it.

MUSIC: my favorite album of February was 「Wall Of Eyes」 This is actually a new album, by a band called The Smile, that was released in the final week of January, and I only heard about it because Vinny Vinesauce featured it on one of his streams. If you've heard of Radiohead, then you'll at least recognize the singer, Thom Yorke (although the three person band also features Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood, and drummer Tom Skinner). Despite The Smile seeming (at first) like just a side project of a couple Radiohead members, let me honestly admit that I have never connected with any Radiohead album as much as I've connected with this. I truly think every song on this album is incredible, and I listened to it front to back almost every day this February. Its genre is hard to describe, and maybe that's where some of the magic lies. It's light and acoustic, soft and jazzy... beautiful, but also a little tense and attention grabbing at times. As usual, I'd recommend just listening if you're curious about it at all, with my favorite song linked HERE!

MANGA: I was able to read a few more volumes of Dungeon Meshi this month, and I feel like it might soon claim the title of the single best manga I've ever read. Honestly, it's got it all. The themes, the artwork, the characters, the pacing, the paneling, the story's structure... I'm not exaggerating when I say that any way I look at this manga to critique it, I find excellence. In everything, there is deliberate ingenuity and soul. I will reveal that there is less focus on cooking, and more focus on worldbuilding as the story goes on, but I'm not even disappointed by that because everything it dishes out is still so good. I'm serious about this, especially if you're watching the show, try to find some copies of this manga or read it online. It's absolutely worth it.

[age-of-moonknight]

I have a question about detective flint...do you know more moon knight comics where he appears? Other than mk 2014 book...I am so weirdly obsessed with him? Or just more curious about his character...ig, he reminds me of Jim Gordon (from batman)

Also happy new year🥳

And a happy new year to you as well because !!! heck yeah, Detective Flint! He's an og from way back in Moench's run on Moon Knight volume 1! (And I'm a little obsessed with him and his very Jim Gordon-esque role too....may we someday actually learn his first name RIP). My research didn't really turn up anything more interesting than what you would normally find on the average "list of appearances" for him, but I'll list them all and then do a further break down after the cut to help delineate where he actually affects the plot versus where he just provides a little exposition, if that's something anyone's interested in. Happy reading!

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #12, #15, #17, #24-25, #33-34, #36-37

[Bonus] Daredevil (Vol. 1/1964), #218

Moon Knight (Vol. 2/1985), #3

Moon Knight (Vol. 3.1998), #3-4

Moon Knight (Vol. 4/1999), #1, #3

Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #8, #13, #17, #20

Moon Knight (Vol. 7/2014), #1, #3, #6, #8, #12, #14

Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #8, #22, #24

Moon Knight: Black, White & Blood (Vol. 1/2023), #3

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #12: Detective Flint's introduction (and where we learn he likes cream, sugar, and a cigarette with his coffee)

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #15: Moon Knight and Detective Flint's professional relationship gets a bit of a rocky start when Flint accuses MK of attempted assassination

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #17, #24: Some one page appearances to provide exposition I mean consultations (although the incident with the bag of potato chips in #24 is definitely worth the price of admission imo, another instance of “comics are why my sense of humor is broken”)

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #25: Flint gets stuck between a rock and a hard place in the whole deal with Black Spectre's corrupt machinations

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #33: Appears in a couple panels to crack wise about the futility of trying to stop Moon Knight when he's put his mind to something

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #34, #36: Provides some exposition and makes some collars

Moon Knight (Vol. 1/1980), #37: Detective Flint may or may not have been the only thing keeping Marc from dropping an anti-Semitic arsonist out of a window (...I'll keep my opinions to myself)

Daredevil (Vol. 1/1964), #218: This one's a fun little cameo (at least to me, since I hadn't seen it before), where he pops up with Scarfe too

Moon Knight (Vol. 2/1985), #3: Fittingly, they bring Lt. Flint back for a Morpheus case, since those two characters were introduced in the same issue

Moon Knight (Vol. 3/1998), #3-4: Does his thing of providing a couple pages worth of exposition

Moon Knight (Vol. 4/1999), #1, #3: Flint provides as much info as he can, but he's just about as confused as everyone else in this volume (and for good reason, it's wild hahaha)

Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #8: Catches MK up to speed on the new Midnight Man (in the very, very gloomy and fatalistic manner that is characteristic of the Huston run)

Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #13, #17: Flint catches all the cases from when MK was running around carving crescents into criminals' foreheads and isn't particularly happy about it (understandably so, what a run)

Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #20: We follow Flint on the opening investigation into the issue’s “monster of the week” (also includes one of my favorite “dropping in to chat with the series’ cop buddy” panels)

[Anon indicated that they’ve already read Moon Knight (Vol. 7/2014), but if anyone else wants me to break down Flint’s appearances in those issues, please just let me know! :D]

Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #8: Flint does his usual exposition thing for Hunter’s Moon while MK is “indisposed”

Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #22: Flint and Tigra share a page swapping info (both on the new Midnight Man and on MK’s delightful peculiarities)

Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #24: On the scene during the most recent Morpheus incident

Moon Knight: Black, White & Blood (Vol. 1/2022), #3: Shows up at the end of the first story, “Wrong Turn,” to make some arrests and comment on Jake’s thoroughness in wrecking his taxi

Oh! Also, this isn't from a Moon Knight comic, but apparently Warren Ellis included a Detective Flint in the Earth-555 comic, Newuniversal: Shockfront (Vol. 1/2008), issues #1-2. Flint doesn't exactly play a huge role (and I read those individual comics with absolutely no context so I was a little ????), but I had never expected there to be any non-616 versions of Flint out there, so this was cool to find for me at least. Just a fun bit of trivia hahaha

[jewelledfoxes]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @medusasfinalgirl for tagging me!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 16 atm! (1 anonymous) Which is wild to me. English was my least favourite subject in school.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 198,609 which, again, absolutely wild.

3. What fandoms do you write for? At the minute, just stranger things. But my early fics were Game of Thrones and Bridgerton.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? I'm just going off ST fics so:

(Anything You) Want - friends to lovers mutual pining Nice (Just Ain't My Type) - silly celebrity rivals au (I Don't Have To Tell You But) You're The Only One - AYW college sequel This Be The Verse - on a theme of parenthood Stay - AYW Eddie POV

I only consider 2 of these to actually be amongst my "best" fics tho.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I definitely try my best to respond to everything as quickly as possible. I feel very honoured that there are people out there who take time out of their day to let me know they enjoyed. Makes my day every single time!!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oooh okay, Haunt Me, Then! (kinktober spectrophilia fic) for now, but it's very possible that She's Got A Boyfriend Anyway (classic cheating-on-Jason fic) might beat it when I get round to finishing it.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know if any of my fics have particularly strong happy endings, but off the top of my head it's got to be This Be The Verse.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Defo not on hellcheer ones! Everyone's so nice here!!! <3 My very first fic got SO MUCH hate on it but that's because I wrote it when I was 17 and it WAS terrible.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Really never thought I would, but more of my fics have smut in them than not these days lol. Idk, something about hellcheer just really made me go ...these two should be going at it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I don't, and I'd be very surprised if I ever do tbh.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope again!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, and I'm not really sure I can ever imagine myself co-writing.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I mean, I've not written 13 fics for any ship other than hellcheer so that's something. In terms of longevity, Katniss/Peeta and Finnick/Annie still have the same effect on me as they did when I first read the book at like 13 years old.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? What a stressful question! I doubt I'll finish off Hard to Forgive (Hard to Forget) because it would be one of those proper multi-chapters (40k words ish by my estimates) and I just don't think I could do it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Hmm I'm not sure. I used to be quite good at setting a scene but I think I'm losing that a little. If I'm honest, recently I've been really proud of the sheer volume of what I've been writing and my willingness to venture out of my comfort zone.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? God, where to start. Weak dialogue, my repetitive writing style, difficulty writing endings, complete inability to do anything concisely. But I genuinely feel like I'm slowly improving bit by bit!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I did French and Spanish in school, French to a slightly higher level than Spanish, so I'd feel comfortable including either of those at a school level (like them trying out saying things like "at the weekend I like to go to the park" and "I have two brothers and no sisters" in a class) but wouldn't want to risk anything more complex!

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Hunger Games. I never posted it anywhere, but I still have my old drafts for fics that I look back on every now and again just to see how far I've come!

20. Favorite fic you've written? So hard to choose! This Be The Verse because it felt so immensely personal to write or Cherry (sapphic hellcheer) because it was a long time coming. Both are eclipsed by a soon-to-be-uploaded kinktober foot fic that I will reveal is called Heart and Sole (and yes it's as dumb and silly as the title implies)!

Okay that was fun! I'm not 100% sure on who I follow writes but I'm p sure @gingertumericlemon, @bibiche007 and @achilleanenjolras all do, so would love to hear your responses if you fancy it!