#but I'm facing the possibility that I might have to if I actually want to get some work done and not just get treated like a free assistant

[bookshelf-dust]

strawberry love

patrick zweig x fem!reader

gif by @beelarson

word count: 2,037

warnings: swearing, a smidge of anxiety, this is a sort of situation where reader matches patrick’s freak aka they are smartasses to each other, flirting

synopsis: patrick, your not-quite-boyfriend-but-might-as-well-be-because-you’re-both-down-bad, wants you to spend the night at his place. your anxious brain hates change in routine, and he does everything he can to make you comfortable.

a/n: first fic for the challengers boys!! i am very pleased with how this turned out and i think i’ve managed to get a hold of patrick’s mannerisms and his personality. this is also a bit of a new dynamic for me, but i think this fic’s atmosphere is a good one. happy reading <33

————

You are so fucking grateful that Patrick is on the other end of this phone call and not sitting next to you because, if he was, he’d see how your fingers are shaking and lift them up, going “What’s this?” with that stupid fucking smirk of his. 

And he’d look at you in that teasing way that makes you hate him more than anything.

“So, what’re you thinking? Got some excuse as to why you won’t come spend the night at my place?”

You can hear the grin growing in size across his face. You’re sure he’s sitting back on his hands with the phone on speaker as if this is the most casual experience of his life. 

“Patrick, I—”

“Be honest with me here, angel. S’all I’m askin.’ We need a fuckin’ code or something now?”

“I’m just anxious as shit and any change in routine fucks with me and so that makes me not want to put my brain through that by coming over and also…it’s you.”

He laughs. “It’s me?”

“Yes! You’re too fucking relaxed all the time and you’ve always got your googly eyes on me a-and it’s like you want me to join a damn cult, Zweig!”

Patrick laughs even harder. “You need someone to counter your constant state of panic. And where else would I have my eyes?”

“Oh, fuck me sideways, you shithead.” He hears you slap your palm to your face. “Pain in my ass.”

“You want me to pick you up, pretty girl? I bet that’d ease some of your stress.”

You sigh, all dramatic and high-pitched. Your heart is doing somersaults against your rib cage. That would help, actually. Then you don’t have to plan what time to leave, accommodate for traffic, shove all your shit in the car and let your thoughts engulf you on the ride over. 

“Y-yeah, fine. Whatever.”

Patrick knows that tone. “Hey. You know I’m gonna take care of you for real, right? That I just wanna see you and get you to be present for a little, yeah?”

Your voice softens. “I know, Patrick. Just let me pack an overnight bag, okay? And text me when you’re on the way.”

“Why don’t you pack a few extra things? You know, just in case you can’t get enough of me and need to stay a few more nights.”

You hang up the phone, leaving Patrick giggling to himself against his kitchen counter. 

————

Patrick’s lips are warm when he kisses both your cheeks in quick succession. “Hi, dove.” He takes your bag from your shoulder and walks off toward his bedroom, putting your things down next to his dresser. 

He’s back quicker than should be humanly possible, bringing that cocky ass smile with him. 

“So what, you come over and don’t even want a hug from your favorite person on the planet?”

You grin, and he flushes with excitement over that victory. “Oh, fuck off,” you say, walking into his arms. 

He smells faintly of nicotine and mints, probably those ones that Sonic gives you because he has a stockpile of them in his glove box.

His chest is firm and hot beneath you, and when you press your cheek to it your mind races with thoughts you don’t want it to have. So naturally, you pull away slightly, keeping your hands on his hips. It makes him bite his lip. 

“You smoke today?” you ask, raising a brow.

“Yeah, why, you want one?”

“You keep it up, I'm not gonna be able to hug my favorite person on the planet that much longer. Pretty pink lungs gonna fuck you over.”

He lowers his head and levels with you. “You want me to quit?”

“I can’t make you, Patrick.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. He loves how you say his name.

“Oh, you could make me do anything, baby.” His teeth shine at you, and you swat his stomach. You go to push him away but he grabs your waist and starts kissing all over your face, the top of your head, the tips of your ears. He does it again and again in an effort to make you laugh. 

When you feel his fingers dance at your sides you escape him, “Don’t fucking try it!”

When the laughter in the room dies out, Patrick takes your hand and walks you to the kitchen. “Come on. I’ll make you a drink.”

You sit on one of his two barstools, stifling a laugh at the pitiful creak it makes. “Do you even have anything other than beer or whiskey? Because I don’t want either of those.��� 

Patrick opens the refrigerator, motioning as if he’s clutching an aching chest. “C’mon, angel, don’t hurt my feelings. You think I wouldn’t buy the things I know my baby likes?” 

You brace your elbows on the counter and try to peek in the fridge. It’s not necessary though because he’s pulling out a container of frozen strawberries for you to see. 

“You got me stuff for—” 

“Strawberry daiquiris? Duh.” 

He places two bottles of rum on the counter, one full and the other half empty. You watch as he moves around the kitchen, gathering up the parts to the blender, which are for some reason in different cabinets. He gets out these fancy glasses (his only ones) someone gave him one time. 

“And,” he starts, “I remembered that you like it with a little less rum than most recipes call for so you’ll actually enjoy it.”

You tilt your head at him. He’s so pretty and he remembered all that shit just for you. “Lean over here for a sec, Patrick.”

He does as you say without question, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. You press a kiss to the tip of his nose. He loves that. The first time you did it he tackled you and asked you to do it again and again. 

You kiss his forehead and then the back of this hand, because boys should have their hands kissed too. 

Patrick’s cheeks are on fire. You take his face in your hands and let your gaze travel over each and every one of his pretty freckles. Your thumb rubs across his bottom lip and he moves closer, desperate for you to do anything. To give him anything. 

“Thank you for bringing me over here just to liquor me up,” you quip, your smile growing fast, eyes crinkling with humor. 

He nips the palm of your hand. “Yep. Just hopin’ to get you relaxed enough so you’ll confess your love for me, princess.”

You move away from his grasp, grinning softly at him and thinking how easily you’d confess that to him anyway. “Get back to work now, Zweig. Your strawberries have captivated me. And the curly straws.” 

His laughter is contagious.

————

Two strawberry daiquiris, and some of Patrick’s later, your anxious brain has finally settled down. You feel completely calm, and being with him makes you feel so comfortable that you don’t worry about adapting to a new space.

You register that he’s been distracting you all evening. He made your favorite drink, he’s been showering you with affection, he put on an episode of Jeopardy because he knows you like that smart feeling you get when you answer a question right. 

You’re laying on his chest, one hand snaked up underneath his sweatshirt to rest on the soft of his stomach. His skin is unbelievably warm and your fingers run back and forth over the short trail of curls there. 

“Who is Donald Sutherland, dumbass,” you say, annoyed that no one knew who played Mr. Bennet in Joe Wright’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. 

Patrick’s hand pushes under your shirt and rests on your spine. He starts scratching your skin lightly, up and down, up and down. You blink up at him. “That feels good.”

“Yeah? All you gotta do is ask and I’ll do it.”

“Well, will you please keep scratching my back for me, Patrick? It’s very soothing. Keeps me present.”

“‘Course I will, angel.”

“I know you like your physical affection,” you say, squeezing his hip lovingly. He kisses the top of your head as if to confirm your statement. 

“Have I succeeded in providing an anxiety-free sleepover environment for my girl?”

You push up onto your elbows so you can make eye contact with him. He leans his head back a little bit, teasingly making himself look more serious as if you don’t always have his full attention. 

Your eyes move from his to his lips and back. You start to nod. “You have. It feels like all the outside stressors don’t exist here.”

Patrick leans into your hand when you put it against his cheek. He is beaming. 

“You wanna go to bed, dove?”

“Yes, please.”

Patrick heaves you upward and over his shoulder, making you howl with laughter. You both get ready for bed quietly, doing your respective routines and getting everything settled. 

You meet Patrick in bed, padding over to the mattress in your panties and a big t-shirt. Your hands are keeping the shirt pulled down on instinct, making it look like a dress. When he sees you, he thinks he might combust. It takes everything in him not to. 

You’re so fucking sweet and perfect and gorgeous and you’ve got no clue. And you’re in his bedroom, pushing onto his bed and laying with him. Him, of all people. 

You roll onto your side and face him. He’s a little stubbly and his curls are a mess, but somehow he looks more gorgeous like this than when he’s all prettied up. He smells like toothpaste and that Old Spice deodorant he uses. Your bare knee brushes his, but neither of you move away.

Your gaze falls on the only source of light in the room aside from the moon; the children’s night light that looks like a tennis ball. Art got him that as a Christmas gift, and Patrick would be lying if he said he didn’t actually like it. 

You move your hand close enough to his body that you can feel the warmth of him, but not enough that you make any more contact. 

“Patrick, I don’t think friends treat each other the way we treat each other.” You realize your fingers are trembling. 

His smile lines grow as a grin spreads across his face. “You think so?” he asks, sarcasm dripping from every word. 

You nod, still looking at the tennis ball. Then his fingers are on your chin, coaxing you into looking at him. “D-do you think we should be more than friends?” 

Patrick’s hand hasn’t left your face. His thumb traces over your eyebrow. “I think we already are.”

“Could we maybe m-make that definitive?”

“Is this you really confessing your love for me?”

You roll your eyes so hard you might as well have rolled out of the bed. “Fuck off.” You swat at his chest and attempt to move away from him. 

He’s laughing and then he’s pulling you flush against his body, securing you there with a firm arm around your back. “You want me to be your boyfriend, don’t you?”

“I hate you.”

“Well, yeah. And I want you to be my girlfriend, angel.”

“So I can make googly eyes at you as often as you do me now?”

He squeezes the fat of your hip. “Oh, you already do. You just don’t notice how obvious it is that you’re infatuated with me. You looked like you wanted to eat me alive in the kitchen earlier.”

“The bad part is that I know you’d let me.”

“So you don’t deny the allegations?” He holds his fist up to your mouth, mimicking a microphone. 

“No, Patrick. I do want you to be my boyfriend. And I want to do this all the time. I hate how easy you make everything.” He chuckles, biting his thumbnail. “It’s not natural to be this calm. And I hate that you’ve made me a sap.” His brow raises just before you continue, “I brought clothes for like, three nights.”

Patrick hugs you to him so quickly, laughing into your cool skin. 

“I fucking knew you would.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

[forbiddenconflict]

Again?

When you’re left waiting yet again by your boyfriend.

Spencer Reid x !fem!reader

Warnings: angst, hurt!comfort,fluff word count: 1262 words a/n: This is the first fanfic i’ve written since i was like 14 so if it’s bad blame that lmao. Also this is a new blog so I don’t know if this will appear in the tags?? idk i’ve only ever been a lurker of tumblr and I barely know how to use it. This is my first post on it. Anyways hope if you’ve taken the time to read this you enjoy it.

9:23 pm. 9:23 pm was when the last text from Spencer had been sent. He was supposed to be home hours ago, at 6 pm. Which left you sitting in your shared apartment. All dolled up. Waiting for him to either come home, to maybe still be able to spend time together, or for him to text you saying he won’t be home till later, if at all. You avoid the clock, you don’t even want to know the time. It would just add salt to the wound.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, Spencer’s job is a lot. You know this but it doesn’t make you feel any better. Mainly because there are ways you believe this could have been avoided, if he texted you earlier saying he might be late, or if he actually left work when he finished. You know sometimes that’s not possible, but on days like these he’s told you his co-workers leave on time. So why can’t he?

You know he loves his job, you really do, and you understand how important it is. But the fact he prioritises even the most boring, dull days over spending time with you hurts.

You’re deep in your own thoughts when your phone finally dings. You take a deep breath. This is it. Either a confirmation of your thoughts, or that Spencer has left and is on his way home. You’re praying it’s the latter.

Mom: Did you find what you were looking for?

Oh.

You feel slightly disappointed as you go to message her back and gaze at the time.

10:30pm

You clench your jaw tightly and you swallow. You look around your living room, dimly lit by the few lamps. It’s dark outside. You know that without even needing to check outside your window.

Any plans you had wouldn’t be able to happen now, it’s too late. And you’re really tired, and bored. You take your phone and text Spencer.

You: i’m going to bed, i’ll probably be asleep wh-

You're interrupted by the door opening quietly and Spencer peers through. He looks around the room before he sees you. Almost lying on the couch as you’d sunken so deep. His eyes scan your body and then your face. You were wearing a dress still, but your mascara had been rubbed away.

“Hey.” He speaks quietly as he drops his bag and takes his shoes up, lining them up in their usual spot.

You look up at him and sigh. Trying to decide how you wanted to react to this, even if you tried to hide he would know you’re upset. He can probably tell now you’re a little angry.

“Hi.”

“I'm so so sorry.” Spencer gulps as he walks towards the couch. “I got carried away- I didn’t realise the time. I should have called or texted-“

“Yeah.” You stop him. “You should have.”

You raise off the couch and begin to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Spencer questions as you leave.

You turn around irritated. “What do you think? I’ve been waiting here, for hours, in a dress. I’m tired and cold and uncomfortable.” You take a quick breath. “You can’t keep doing this Spencer. It is exhausting constantly waiting for you.”

“I can’t control it. You know that!” He says as he also stands. He towers over you now.

You keep your eyes on the couch, where he was just sitting. “You always say that Spence, but I mean come on, you don’t always have to stay late. You could, god forbid, actually leave when everyone else does.”

“If I did that nothing would get done.” He sighs. “It’s not a choice.”

“Doesn’t make it hurt any less when I’m waiting for you, yet again, without even an indication of when you’ll get home.” You bite your lip and try to swallow back the sob that you didn’t even know had formed.

Spencer tilts your chin up to look at him. “I know angel, and all I can say is that I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel this way. I should have made myself aware of the time, and I should have texted you.”

“I waited for hours, Spence.” Your voice breaks as you push your head into his chest and his arms fold around you.

“I know baby.” He holds you tightly. “Tell me a way to make it up to you, please?”

“I shouldn’t have to tell you.” You cry. “You should already know.”

You break away from him as you head to your shared bedroom.

“I know.” He stops you. “And I will. I promise.”

“Okay.” You sigh. “You better not lie to me Spencer.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” he softly smiles at you.

“yeah, we’ll see.”

The next morning you wake up to breakfast made waiting for you at the table. Albeit badly done. With a plate over it to ensure it doesn’t go stale. You roll your eyes but smile softly at it. You pick up the note lying beside the plate.

“I know this doesn’t make up for anything, but I hope it doesn’t hurt. Hope it doesn’t taste horrendous, I really did try. Love, Spencer.”

“He’s such a dork.” You mumble as you sit down at the table.

You’re exhausted by the time you get home from work. It was a difficult day, to say the least. And you’re later than you would normally be. You sigh as you go to open the door of your apartment, preparing yourself for another night alone.

You look around shocked as you breathe in a warm smell of food cooking.

Spencer comes out of the kitchen saying your name. “Are you home?”

“Yeah.” You stammer. “What are you doing?”

You look at him properly. He’s wearing an apron and he has his glasses on.

“Ehm.” He laughs awkwardly. “I’m cooking”

“Yeah I can see that.” You chuckle. “I mean what are you doing home?”

“You were right, I mean obviously you were. I don’t need to stay late. I-I was dumb, and I want to make it right. I want to be there for you.” He rambles looking over at you.

“And that led you to trying to make me dinner?” You laugh.

“Yeah.” He laughs. “It was a rash decision. I got bored waiting for you to come home, It really showed me how much of an idiot I had been.”

“Yeah for someone so smart you’re so stupid sometimes.” You smile as you walk towards him.

“Thank you for trying though.”

“I’d do anything for you.” He smiles.

You grab his head and pull him into kiss you.

“I love you. Even when you make mistakes.” You look at him softly.

“I love you so much.” He says softly. “And I’ll never make the mistake of taking your time for granted again, or atleast try my hardest not to.”

“So far you’ve kept up on your promises.” You laugh. “So I believe it.”

[silviakundera]

Does it feel like they're trying to redeem the dickless bore? idk if he's doing a con on her or they're showing he has real feelings for her wasn't the novel different?

One thing I'm really noticing in the Princess Royal (Grand Princess) adaption is that they will 'play it straight' with characters like Su Rongqing and the Emperor: giving the character similar dialogue and facial expressions as they would have in the novel -- except without PWX or LR's internal dialogue of 🙄 why u lying???

🙄 lol ok sure

😒 oh i see, back on your bullshit again

😤 the AUDACITY

😬 oh shit oh shit danger BE COOL

The consequence is that if you take everything at face value, the Emperor seems like a reasonable guy and not up for The Absolute Worst Dad award. Under the surface, the novel reader knows he is acting out a play and coldly calculating every interaction with Li Rong, the Crown Prince, and Consort Ruo. Every single scene with him, Li Rong is in peril and she knows it. She's pretending to be his sweet, obedient 19 year old daughter who believes in him and is following Pei Wenxuan's direction and acting as a puppet, making moves that he has already approved PWX to make. The Emperor's pretending that this play isn't supposed to end with LR and the Crown Prince taken down & the power transferred into Consort Ruo and the other prince's hands.

The viewer can just interpret all the words coming out of a character's mouth as facts & just believe everything they claim about their motives/real agenda as true. Or they recall the implied horrorshow of Life 1 and view all of these interactions with a cynical eye, questioning what else could be under the surface.

With SRQ, that guy is so fucking complicated. I think actually he's portrayed in character. Nothing we have seen isn't .... him. At least so far, as of ep 19 he aligns with the novel.

But 3 different factors: A) The music is romantizing him; B) The audience is given a couple internal-thought voice overs from him, which other antagonists don't get; C) With those voice-overs, the screenwriter has chosen to affirm his love for his brother and LR way earlier than the reader has it confirmed in the novel (where he is intentionally kept a total mystery for far longer, while the reader is the math lady meme, trying to piece together clues to figure him out).

And ultimately, when in SRQ's PoV in the drama, we have to deal with him being the hero of his own story. He is absolutely sincere about himself and, as has been revealed, in his own way he's sincere about wanting LR and his brother to have a good life this time around.

So does that mean the writer intends to do a swerve in the narrative arc and redeem him in the end? It's totally possible. Maybe?

However, not necessarily.

#1 There is a certain refrain from many of the great cnovel/drama villians: I had no choice! You all forced me to this!

We saw it from Shen Yurong in The Double, we saw it from Meng Yao/JGY in The Untamed, and in the novel (and I presume in the drama), we're gonna see it from Su Rongqing.

And it's the reason why they become villians who can't be saved. Because so many people suffer in life or experience unfairness. But they don't turn around and use this as an excuse to enact horrible cruelties on others.

Out of the billions of people in the world, few have no problems but so many of them actively chose to do good, or are willing at least to turn back and be better.

#2 imo the reason LR has historically been bad at reading people's hearts but has an exquisite read of SRQ, his flaws & darkness, is THAT'S HER FUCKING MOM. And I do think ep 16-18 put that out there in the text, if you're looking for it. He and the empress are the same sophisticated aristocrat who is clever & educated but with a narrow perspective limited by their privilege and desperate need to maintain the status quo. So sorry bro, but no wonder she might have settled for marrying you in the first life if you wanted to, but she was never gonna fall in love with you 💀.

PWX can see that SRQ loves her and he thinks that matters, so it scares him. LR has tender nostalgia for her empress mother and her former companion but she's all too aware that their love for her will not necessarily get in the way of stepping on her to protect the social structure of a powerful aristocracy class operating at a higher level above the peasants and restraining the throne. To them, this is safety and stability that guards the realm.

(ofc both those characters are complex and when it comes to LR's life & death we can't be confident on what they will always choose. that's part of what made all the palace drama aspects of the novel incredibly suspenseful. So many of the suppporting characters are layered and tho everything they do makes sense when it happens, you can't often predict people's hard choices when their back is up against the wall)

Story of Kunning Palace and The Grand Princess say that caring about people and trying your best to understand them, wanting what's best for them by listening to what's best for them, can make a huge difference. But not everyone is willing to change.

[heistheghostking]

I had to take a ferry ride this morning and thought I would give brief guide on Washington State ferries for the dead boy detectives fans who want to write a fic or something but have never been on one.

First things first, what ferry did they take?

In the show they kinda make it seem like they just got off the plane in Seattle and hopped in a ferry straight over to Port Townsend. That's unfortunately not actually possible in the real world, but maybe it is in their fictional version of Port Townsend idk. Below is a map of the Puget Sound area with SeaTac airport and Port Townsend circled in purple.

These are the routes Google shows to take public transit from SeaTac to Port Townsend.

Any way you go you have to drive a bit to the ferry dock then from the ferry to Port Townsend so not as easy as the show made it seem. The route highlighted is actually taking the Seattle- Kingston fast ferry. The fast ferries are run by Kitsap transit (the county on the west side of the sound from Seattle, does not include Port Townsend) and are passenger only. They're pretty fast with the Seattle-Bremerton taking 30ish minutes and the Seattle-Kingston taking 40ish. Idk much about the Seattle-Kingston one but the Bremerton fast ferry, which is the other route shown, is a small boat that's basically a room with a ton of seats. Think like a really wide and short airplane but with more bus-like seats.

While that's probably the more realistic option, I prefer to think they took a Washington state ferry cause they're more fun. They could have taken one from Seattle to Bremerton like the alternate route shown on the map, or they could have gone up the Edmonds to take the Edmonds-Kingston ferry. Both of these are passenger and vehicle ferries.

One of these big boys. These you can get up and explore more. They're slower moving with the Seattle-Bremerton taking an hour and the Edmonds-Kingston about half an hour.

These guys have 3 main decks. There's the one with all the cars (for some reason the name is escaping me right now) on the bottom. From there you can take the stairs to the passenger deck, this is also where walk-ons get on and off the boat. Here we got two main seating areas on the front and back of the ship that have like rows of seats and stuff in the middle. There are also little outside areas past these rooms. You can kinda see one in the picture above, it's where the green railing is.

Running along the length of the ship on either side are booths (pairs that face each other) next to the windows. There's also like a little cafeteria area that sells basic food. Near that there's table seating in the middle and the previously mentioned booths have tables. There are also bathrooms and vending machines on this deck.

Above that is the sun deck. Basically the top of the ship. The very front and back have little covered areas with seating to get out of the wind (it's very windy on the front/sides of the boat).

Otherwise it's just open.

I think that's about it. They can be very shaky and at least one car's alarm starts going off. The views are gorgeous both from the sun deck and the passenger deck. Sometimes you can see fun marine animals. You definitely see birds like geese, ducks, seagulls. If you're lucky maybe like herons or something. Rarely you might spot a seal or like a really big fish. One time my Mom was on a ferry when they had to slow down for a pod of whales which is really cool. I've never seen a whale though 😔

Idk if anyone cares about this, I just love ferries and my Mom moved to Bremerton so I go on them a lot now. Let me know if y'all have any questions about the ferries or the Puget Sound area in general, I'm happy to help!

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

[raraeavesmoriendi]

it’s one of those days where I either didn’t hear back on something I’m waiting around about, or what I did hear was deeply aggravating, and my hormones are making it very hard not to take it personally

[timegears-moved]

[eff-plays]

Ok so I watched the interview with Stephen Rooney, Astarion's writer, and here are some highlights. (I'm an aspiring writer and current game design student who wants to write for games so I'm sorry if some of these insights aren't as interesting to you as they are to me <3)

He calls Astarion his "horrible little vampire boy"

He loves seeing the fandom around Astarion<3

He did write other characters in the game, but mostly NPCs surrounding Astarion or his storyline, so it mostly revolved around Astarion

Astarion is not as connected to other companions/Origins as, for example, Lae'zel and Shadowheart, or Wyll and Karlach are to each other, but he is still reactive to their stories, even if it's just to stand off to the side and laugh when something terrible happens

He had a clear sense of where Astarion's story would start and end, but it got "muddy in the middle", but those are also moments where the best ideas come from

They write from the general idea that every character has one "good" and one "evil" ending, in order to give the player choice. RIP Ascendant apologists :(

According to Stephen, two of the most important aspects of Astarion's character (to keep consistent when bringing him to Idle Champions, at least) is that he enjoys violence, but is also fun about it

"He has a certain appreciation for violence, I guess? A bit of a murdery streak. [...] He's a vampire, he's all about blood, and he's all about, kind of, those darker sides of humanity. [..] But at the same time, he is ... He is really fun, he's really fun to write, he's really fun to have in your party, and it's very important for me that that is also represented."

"He's gonna stab you, but will have a smile on his face as he does it? I mean, I dunno. That's kind of him in a nutshell."

Larian would not have allowed for Astarion to be a typical brooding Dracula type, and there were scenes that were shot down for not being original enough

The main thing about Astarion was trying to get a "sense of fun." It would be easy to write a character that was very unlikable, and they absolutely did not want to do that

Rooney says Astarion is consistently terrible throughout the game and awful in a whole lot of ways, but he also needed to be charming enough that you could tolerate his presence and wanted him around

Rooney also had a lot of input on Astarion's stats (meaning the 10 Charisma is probalby 100% intentional)

He also had input on how certain lines should be delivered, even though the writers didn't directly work with voice actors

The way Astarion moves and poses is "all Neil"

Apparently, Neil Newbon worked on the character for years and Rooney did not speak to him once, though his voice work did influence how Astarion's lines were written and it became a "feedback loop" (Possible context for "ONLY SLIGHTLY, NEIL")

There were no points where a line delivery drastically changed Astarion's writing; rather it was a constant, slow evolution

However, there was one very spoilery moment where Neil gave such emotion to some "basic" lines that it fundamentally changed the scene (WHAT IS IT OMG)

It's difficult to balance approval, as you don't want to straight up write a monster. Every character needs to have some humanity in them. So if it comes to leaving the party, it needed to be the result of something central to said character. They wanted to be mindful of situations that would cause actual rifts between characters. (I assume this is why most generic disapprovals/approvals are +/- 1 or 2, while character-related ones give +/-5 or more)

However, as they don't write straight up horrible people/monsters, it doesn't come up as often as one might think.

The interviewer makes a point about how characters like Astarion and Lae'zel are good examples of how to play "evil" characters, as they are maybe not the best people but are still eager and willing to stick around the other party members

They worked to make sure the characters would work as a group, no matter the configuration of the group. The characters needed to be on the same path, even if they don't always agree or walk that path the same way.

Stephen Rooney is very proud of the "climactic" scene of Astarion's story. (AS HE SHOULD BE.) He even had to step away from the computer and have an emotional moment. Me too, man.

He's also "extremely pleased" that there's a point where you can punch Astarion in the face. "Actually, that one might be my favorite part" A MAN OF THE PEOPLE!!

Stephen Rooney's tip on what specific thing you should try out with Astarion: When he's trying to get a "sneaky nibble" at night, you should "probably" let him bite you. Way ahead of you there, sir.

No discussion about Astarion's romance unfortunately, but that's that!

[anantaru]

— you ask him "can i sit on your lap?"

including heizou, lyney, wriothesley, alhaitham x gn! reader

꒰ genre ꒱ — fluff, established relationship, a tiny bit suggestive towards the end (wriothesley's part, basically the last paragraph hints at something suggestive)

— heizou

the door to heizou's office was closed behind you two, leaving the rest of the world outside as you laid on a couch while he was practically glued to his office-desk— his countenance focused, absorbed in the current case he was working on.

to some, it might appear as boring when you both spend time like that, but to you it was the exact opposite— not only were you able to work on your own stuff in his office, in fact, you're not getting distracted by anything there, but heizou will always spend the night at your place after he was done with work.

although sometimes, you catch yourself become bored once you've finished up everything you had to do yourself, and immediately decide to walk towards his desk, your eyes holding a secret glow only he was able to understand.

"how far are you?" you ask, "already cracked the case?" tilting your head to the sight before lazily leaning against his desk.

heizou smirks before brushing one hand through his tousled hair, "almost done, heh, i'm almost there,"

you know— you know, you shouldn't bother him while he was busy with solving this case, but watching him actually do it was very much attractive. it's constant in his behavior, your boyfriend was just effortlessly handsome when he skimmed over a case, never seeing the glass as half full— he see it brimming to the top, filled with all his brilliance. 

to add on to that, the both of you couldn't be apart from each other for a long time anyways, it was like watching two magnets, pushing and pulling until they finally clicked back into place.

"can i sit on your lap?" you say in a whispered utterance that was setting his heart ablaze, "i want to watch you solve it," and the way you spoke to him in that sound, heizou's facial features instantly turn softly into kindness, a carefree laugh attached to him.

"you don't have to ask, come here."

heizou instantly makes space for you before guiding you towards his lap, and an immediate rush of warm air rises when he wraps his arms around you, the tension roiling and manifesting into heart-shaped clouds.

now, as a result of being so close to your boyfriend, his slightly sweet fragrance overruns your senses when you rest your head against his shoulder, sighing out through your mouth.

"you wanna help me solve this case, hm?" the man snickers as his palm smoothes along your thigh, "i will do whatever you want if you solve it before me,"

"i can try," you claim confidently and shift on his lap.

a gleeful light falls into his deep, black pupils when you agree, his lips curved up into a smile, "but don't get mad if i beat you!"

— lyney

"see? that's how you hide a card and make it appear again,"

lyney moves his fingers around the pack of cards with such frightening precision that you could evidently witness with fierce clarity that, well, you cannot possibly memorize this magic trick with the confused blur in your eyes— despite the fact that he has shown you the exact same trick three times in a row now.

you sigh out in defeat, your eyes skimming over his hands as you're both sitting on the couch next to each other, "I still don't get it," your words were breathless but liquid with embarrassment, even though there was nothing to be embarrassed about— because you see, lyney would never reveal a trick to anybody, not even to his significant other.

after all, it's a magicians greatest strength to keep their cunning mischiefs hidden away.

in fact, he only offered to show you because he really liked that befuddled look on your face, he finds it so cute, pretty and sweet.

a somewhat devious, but calm smile hovers on his face as he watches you in awe, one hand now lingering on your arm, a silent plea for you to stay.

"hm, you know what? let me look at it from a different view," you grin before tenderly kissing his cheek, "it's difficult watching from the side like that, you know?" then place a small peck on his jaw before working yourself towards his soft lips at last.

"can i sit on your lap?" you say and lyney almost whines at your request, a pretty sparkle on your eyes worsening his condition, your voice barely above a whisper.

on a surface level, you were dating lyney for quite a while now and were utterly aware that he was probably trying to confuse you with his magic tricks, and although you do not welcome it, you also did not mind because letting him confuse you wasn't necessarily a bad thing— since lyney would always become so confident and loving, not to mention excited to show and tell you more about his passion.

he blushes a little, an emotion such as this one was probably one of the only ones a magician of his caliber was unable to disguise.

"of course," lyney takes a deep breath before straightening his posture out, parting his arms so you could easily settle on his lap.

once you're on his lap, he kisses your shoulder before resting his head in the nook of your neck, "i'll start over now, you ready?"

"i am!" you retort back, "i will get it this time," as a lazy smirk spreads across your face before you begin to melt into his embrace.

— wriothesley

for you to be able to see each other as often as possible, you tend to visit wriothesley at work every now and then— sometimes you feel quite lonely since your boyfriend was always occupied with his job, so when you open the door to his office at last, he holds a benevolent presence on his demeanor, mirth possessing his eyes at the pure look of you walking into the room.

and to make this situation even sweeter, wriothesley shows you a tight-lipped, tender smile on his attractive face, delving into the soothing energy you always brought forth in him.

time seemed to stand still as your eyes met, and wriothesley immediately rises from his seat, cheeks flushing brightly, "you're finally here," his voice jovial-alike, so jovial that it set your entire tone for the day, "i was waiting for you, love,"

his walk was quick as he could barely wait to hug you— in fact, you honestly applaud him for how impossibly fast he has reached you as two muscular arms wrap around your body in no time, a silent language of shared passion being spoken.

"i'm sorry that i have kept you waiting, i'm a bit late, aren't i?" with a meaningful smile, you cup his cheeks before stroking the skin with your thumb.

lost in your eyes, wriothesley watches you through a soft look of through his thick lashes, "—oh, yeah? you did? i couldn't tell."

"but now that you're mentioning it, hm, how brave of you to keep me waiting like that," wriothesley utters in a fooling timbre, "—knowing that I've missed you all day," he continues to tease you before guiding you towards his desk by your hand.

on a normal day, the duke would offer you to sit on his office chair just because he finds it cute and somewhat hilarious— in fact, your cuteness in general was off the charts, it practically had its own gravitational pull.

you do not sit down and instead wrap your arms around his neck, "looks like someone's not quite perfect after all," wriothesley jokes in a tone that was warm and inviting, eliciting an immediate laugh from you.

you pout at him, "hey! if that's the case i'm taking my apology back right now,"

half jokingly, you avert your gaze as to tease him for once, although his overconfidence was like a blazing torch, nothing was capable to rush through it.

wriothesley keeps a prolonged eye contact with you so he could intensify the triumph over this situation, watching how you're crumbling first and losing the game, a playful wink adding a touch of humor to his jest.

"ouch, my love, you heart my heart crack right now?" the duke knits his eyebrows together as he kisses your forehead, his voice light with a hint of playfulness.

you roll your eyes, "hmpf, that's what you get."

the air was charged with a gentle, bubbly energy as wriothesley slightly pushes his office chair towards your direction to make you sit down— he believed you must be tired from today, in fact, the night was slowly approaching and he could tell by how often you'd yawn out.

you look at the chair before searching for your boyfriends eyes again, "is it okay if i sit on your lap instead?" you ask shyly, "i want to watch you work," certainly, that look on your face told him all he needed to know,

"—and cuddle," especially with that twinkle in your eyes.

"you sure? i might be unable to sit still," he grins, leaning closer to your ear before pulling you on to his lap, "make sure to keep your eyes wide open for me, no sleeping," wriothesley kisses your cheek, his voice a soft murmur that boiled the blood in your veins.

"working with me can be quite the handful, you know," he claims confidently, yet you weren't new to your boyfriend's manner of speaking— because you see, in secret he was hinting at something way different than you simply sitting on his lap.

— alhaitham

eyes fluttering shut, you lean against alhaitham's shoulder while your knee would nudge against his own ever so often, swaying from left to right.

it's this particular hour of the day again, where your boyfriend would read to you in the park, it's a simple date yet the both of you preferred it above everything else— it's the vibrancy of various petals decorating the nature that was boldly unique to you, surrounding your bodies so delicately and pure that you couldn't help yourself but feel weary due to the dainty scenery.

for some reason, you cannot keep your eyes open this time but proceeded to give your utmost best to keep your fatigue hidden from the scribe's eyes— granting the fact that he had figured it out the second he saw you.

it was utterly unfair, that's what it was, because there was nothing you cherished more then spending time with your boyfriend like that, in midst the sounds of cooing pigeons in the garden as  sun washes the garden with a golden glow.

alhaitham liked it to, especially reading his favorite books to you was something he thought was beneficial to the both of you. most importantly, he noticed how he was igniting an inner smile in your soul, that kind that burns warm and long, he loves that smile, he couldn't possibly become satiated by it ever.

in a fleeting moment, he places his warm palm against your knee, "hey, you're falling asleep," he claims, a little stoic, "we should head home so you can rest,"

no, please no, you yell inwardly before rubbing your eyes— every ounce of your remaining strength was dedicated to maintaining your eyes open and stay within this scenery a little longer.

"it's okay, i am fine, i promise," you panic, then yawn, yikes, what a way for your body to go behind your back.

hand in hand with your weary state of mind, you move your body before standing up to reclaim your energy, "you can keep reading to me, please, it was getting interesting,"

you're attempting to salvage just an ounce of this date, your eyebrows knitting together in displeasure as you yawn out again.

"i love listening to you."

"there's no point in that if you're falling asleep,"

alhaitham takes your hand, delicately pulling your body towards his own as to inspect your fatigued expression, "we can postpone this, the book isn't running anywhere and neither am i," he smiles gently, silently running his thumb along your knuckles so you'd calm yourself down a little, his homely trace sending a shiver down your spine.

without dissembling anything, it wasn't the book you feared to miss out on— in fact, it was about alhaitham himself. as the scribe of the akademiya he had always been busy and it could become very difficult to plan dates in advance.

to note that even after he might finish up his duties for the day a little earlier, he preferred to stay within the warm confines of his home which you did not mind either.

"alhaitham?" you heave out, something unspoken yet profound being exchanged as your body tests the waters by moving forward, "can i sit on your lap? that way i will surely stay awake, i promise."

alhaitham cocks a curious brow at you, "oh, you will?" he inquires as you nod your head, "in that case, please be my guest,"

the scribe shuffles in his seat as he spreads his legs a little, waiting for you to sit on his lap as one of his hands guide you down while the other held on to the beige-colored book.

the scribe looks at you through thick eyelashes, his face wholly relaxed as you loop one arm around his shoulders to steady yourself, your  lips contorting into a deep, happy smile.

"are you comfortable enough?" he asks as you shift your weight from one leg to another, "very much, thank you."

alhaitham holds you by your waist, strong enough that you could leisurely lean back without fearing of actually dropping on the ground. after figuring out a comfortable setting for the both of you, he flips his book open with one hand as your body subconsciously heats up at his tender palm rubbing circles on your waist.

a cool breeze swirls around you both when he resumes to the book like nothing has changed at all, his choice in tone dignified and unwavering as he reads the first paragraph to you, smiling at your sweet face when he notices how you were drifting into a much deeper sleep.

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

[waitingonher]

because i love you — [hoo boys headcanons]

summary: your "thing" with the hoo boys!

author's note: in honor of the pjo series coming out today,,have this rlly rlly short draft from earlier this year! xoxo

percy jackson — doodling on him

“give me your hand.”

“yes ma’am.”

minutes pass as you doodle gods know what onto percy’s hand. you always resort to this whenever the camp head counselor's meeting begins late—which seems to be every meeting—and giving percy "tattoos" certainly kills time. last meeting, you drew a can of beans and the time before that, was a bouquet of tulips. so honestly his guess being a pair of socks this time isn’t too far of a reach.

“okay, done,” you release his hand, a proud smile gracing your features, “cute right?”

he quirks a brow upon seeing the drawing, “is that…” percy turns his head to the side, gaining better perspective, “is that a flying fish?” 

“wow, you’re good,” you say, giving him a nod of approval, “although, last time you did say that my can of beans looked like a roll of toilet paper…” 

your boyfriend throws his hands in the air, “in my defense, you used a shitty pen so it was hard to tell.” 

“whatever.” 

jason grace — sewing your initials on his clothes

“hi love,” jason says, plopping down beside you on the couch. you give him a bright smile as he places a gentle kiss on your head, “almost done?” 

nodding proudly, you hold up his pair of jeans to show him your work: your initials sewn onto a corner of his back pocket, “yup, just finished actually! what do you think of the color? i think you bought the thread for me on our second date. but i totally forgot i had it until i went digging in my supply box.” 

a grin plasters itself on jason’s face as he nods his head in realization, “i knew the color seemed familiar. i remember wondering why a tiny spool of thread was so expensive. but it’s perfect, i love it,” he kisses your cheek, “all my friends are gonna be so jealous that they don’t have their girlfriends’ initials sewn onto their clothes.” 

you laugh as you imagine jason vehemently bragging about his jeans to all his friends, “tell them i’m charging $50 if they want me to do theirs,” you wink. 

“we’d make more than the stolls’ and their smuggling business if we did that,” he laughs, admiring your work once more. who knew that having your initials on his pants would have such an affect on him, “also, can you do my sweaters and my other jeans?"

you raise a brow, "i might have to start charging you at this point."

leo valdez — impromptu fashion shows

“wow!” you clap enthusiastically, “your outfit even puts paris fashion week outfits to shame!” yes, because a rainbow checkered crop top with a humongous green tutu and a pink boa paired with insanely skinny stilettos beats any and all high fashion runway outfits, “now, leo valdez, can you give us a few words about your new clothing line? and possibly a bit about what it’s like to be so amazingly talented?” you inquire, raising an invisible microphone to his mouth. 

leo oh-so humbly bows and rises with a proud grin, “thank you, thank you, but i honestly must give all credit towards my beautiful muse, y/n, she’s the inspiration behind my new line. and about being so talented, it really is such hard work to be this naturally gifted.”

“ooh, do tell about this ‘y/n.’ i’ve never heard of her but she does sound absolutely gorgeous!” you exclaim, keeping up with the act. 

your boyfriend nods firmly, “oh yes, she’s very, very, very beautiful,” adding a playful wink, “but i must say, she has the worst morning breath i’ve ever encountered!” 

your smile drops and you squint your eyes, “i’m going to choke you with that stupid ugly boa if you don’t take that back right now.” 

“uh ma’am,” leo backs up nervously, clutching his boa, “i’m going to have to call security if you threaten me again.” 

"i'm seriously going to kill you."

[wysteria-bloom]

▨ " you give in so easy "

JJK characters react to you taking their hand off your thigh

Genre : mostly sfw, suggestive

Warnings : Sukuna :)

A/n : OBSESSED with jjk atm. Yuji is fucking KILLING it as a main character I'm so in love. Requests are 100% open, ESPECIALLY for jjk.

Characters : gojo, nanami, sukuna, geto

⟢ gojo satoru ␥

Would literally be SO POUTY afterwards. Because what the hell did he do? Would try it again and again and again until you eventually give up because he's petty like that and when you do he gives you the most cheesiest annoying obnoxious little shit grin and raises his brows at you as if to say," I win." Pulls you in for a cuddle after that because he thinks you're adorable when you give in to him, cooing a," you give in so easy, hon~" right into your ear.

⟢ nanami kento ␥

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM?? Would think he did something to annoy you today that he wasn't aware of. The second you do it bro literally does a full turn towards you and is like," how about you talk instead of insulting me like this." You'll need to tell him it's a prank quick or else he might actually fall out with you for the rest of the night. An apology is definitely in order as well. Nanami deserves the fucking world, after all. You kiss across his face until he tells you to stop, which he never usually does. He just sort of basks in your affection any chance he gets with that serene little smile on his face.

⟢ ryomen sukuna ␥

Oh lord... not a smart idea. On the first time you do it, he just glares at you silently before putting his hand back on your thigh because who the hell do you think you are preventing him from touching what's his? The second time you move his hand? His hand moves up your thigh and inwards, like he was warning you. Third time? Moves up again. Fourth time? You're gonna have to stop before his hand cups something else. When you stop he just grumbles," That's what I fuckin' thought." and keeps his hand there, thumb caressing your inner thigh teasingly until you decide to do something about it.

⟢ geto suguru ␥

Geto is usually a very reasonable man. He doesn't let his emotions get the better of him. But let's say he's had a pretty shitty day and you just happen to want to pull this prank on him at the worst possible moment, his resolve may just snap. The first time you do it, he frowns at you expectantly, waiting for you give him some sort of explanation. The second time you do it he was quick to grab the meat of your thigh again and have a tight grip on it, a sweet little smile on his face," You're testing me tonight aren't you, beautiful?" He cooed out lowly with those dark eyes of his glinting at you challengingly. Yeah, you don't try anything else after that... or maybe you do and you have to buy a new bed frame the next day.

[prince-geo]

literally pleased with almost all of the new atla trailer except as per usual, Zuko's scar, idk why studios are so scared to commit to the intensity of the thing, its supposed to be shocking and obvious and textured and the first thing you see... that's the point, Zuko is supposed to struggle with feeling like it defines and brands him before finally coming to the point in his journey where he defines it.

Hollywood/big studios are known to hesitate or straight up avoid properly and honestly and unapologetically showing people with disfigurements/disabilities/facial differences etc. with the realism they deserve. Which is a shame in general for representation and humanization but ESPECIALLY in this case as its minimization actively harms it's narrative purpose as well

I promise making the scar more intense (shrivel up the ear a bit, make it intrude in his hairline, make his eye in a permanent squint due to nerve damage, for god sake REMOVE THE EYEBROW IT WAS BURNED OFF) will not make Zuko "ugly", (the actor is incapable of looking ugly and also the implication that scars make people too unappealing? yikes) but will actually do the character and his journey justice, not to mention really show Ozai's brutality, another essential narrative tool. Especially when he's bald like hello??? It should be even more stark and intense when he doesn't have hair to distract from it and cover his ear!!!

When transitioning from 2D to live action, of course some visuals are up for interpretation but that usually involved ADDING detail because the constraints of having to stay on modeling frame to frame is gone, not minimizing, removing or airbrushing. Doing Zuko's scar right to me is absolutely essential and I'm disappointed they seem just as as scared to go there as I thought they might. It doesn't have to be gory, if you've ever seen burn victims in real life or in pictures or even cosplayers/artists who are skilled in realistic burn makeup you'd know its possible to balance realism with humanity. It's possible especially with their resources to avoid the "scary Halloween makeup" route while not holding back on the brutality of the original injury.

Budget is definitely not an issue, or "scaring the kids" considering this remake is likely aiming to go a lil darker in tone than the cartoon (which was already super dark with its target audience of nickelodeon 7 year olds so no excuses) Audiences SHOULD be unsettled and upset when they see him but not because he's hard/disturbing to look at but because we are human and do not want to imagine someone doing that to a child.

It's a deliberate choice out of the all too common fear/hesitation to allow someone who is destined to eventually become a protagonist and is meant to be sympathized with to be "too ugly" while this hesitation is very rarely applied to straight up villains (again we come back to media's historic villainization of facial deformity). It's a trend that's always ticked me off in fanart too. The boy's face was melted, for gods sake. Zuko was always portrayed as an attractive boy in the cartoon (fire nation girls fawn over him) even with the intensity of his scar which is something I've always admired! People exist with scars similar to Zuko's in real life, and should not only be permitted to be represented as good guys and/or as attractive when their scars are toned down to be "palatable"

Like I said there's more that I loved than didn't love about the trailer, that can be a whole essay on it's own but I needed to get this very specific vent off my chest because it missed the mark so hard and stands out like a sore thumb in comparison to all the other visuals that hit the nail on the head to me

[jokingmisfit]

A Bat Who... (NSFW)

Dick Grayson a bat who...

Who needs constant physical contact and never feels like it's enough so during sex he touches everywhere and anywhere constantly.

Who will suck on your sex like it's a pacifier.

Who's sex drive and stamina are so unbelievably high that he's decommissioned you for several days before.

Who loves any and all positions and will try them out with you.

Who really loves when you call him Nightwing in bed or officer because he loves the power dynamic.

Who traps you in his arms and wraps you tightly closely to him every time despite the position.

Who talks so dirty and so sweetly at the same time.

"So fucking sweet for me... Ugh... Come on baby get louder for me, I'm gonna fuck you still you forget your own name~"

Jason Todd a bat who...

Who loves how much bigger he is than you.

Who loves to manhandle you, but is so gentle while doing it. Giving the illusion of roughness, but he's actually using controlled gentleness.

Whose hands cover your entire sex, or ass, or neck.

Who treats you like royalty the entire time he fucks you, telling you how good you are for him.

Who never stops thinking about your body against his so he'll have you warm his cock or pin you to a wall or bends you over.

Who refuses to tell you no when you beg for him in bed.

Who will leave all the marks he possibly can on your body without remorse.

"Look at you sweetheart, so fuckin' tight. Could fuck ya forever... Mmm, that's it take it all so fuckin' good~"

Tim Drake a bat who...

Who will record you so he can watch you more later.

Who talks so much you think he might already be drunk on sex.

Who can and will analyze every move, noise, or face you make and tell you every deduction he's made.

Who makes sure you tell him everything so he can always give you exactly what you want.

Who gets so caught up in work, but the minute you mention sex he's all over you.

Who loves when you send him pictures or videos.

Who can and will make you cum five times or more before stopping.

"I could watch you all day, you look so pretty for me... All laid out, I'm gonna make you feel so good~"

Damien Wayne a bat who...

Who doesn't make much noise but surprisingly praises you the whole time.

Whose soft and rough with every movement he makes.

Who will sometimes fuck you in front of the giant mirror in his room just so he can see every angle.

Who sensually feels every part of you.

Who lays you down with care or roughly pushes you to it when upset.

Who will be very blatant with what he wants from you no matter where you're at.

Who will always put your pleasure over his own.

"So beautiful... Would you like more beloved? Oh, you're so precious~"

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | boyfriend's dad!cillian murphy x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | for some reason, your first instinct after the breakup was to talk to his parents; maybe because you'd come sort of uniquely close to them, for a relatively short relationship. you might not have gone to their house if you'd known you'd find mr. murphy there alone...

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (18+ ONLY!! unprotected sex, creampie, oral m and f receiving), age gap (reader's age unspecified, cillian is 45+), hurt/comfort (but, you know, sexual comfort), infidelity, slight manipulation/coercion since the reader is very vulnerable at the time, somewhat inexperienced reader, degradation and praise, a little bit of breathplay, hair pulling, slight dacryphilia?, reader is slightly implied to be an immigrant/foreigner

note: yes I use his real name but this is just fiction and not meant to have anything to do with the real cillian murphy or his life/family so please keep that in mind!

He had a smile on his face as he opened the door and greeted you, but it fell instantly when he saw you biting down on your quivering lip, looking down to hide how red and watery your eyes were.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked, voice heavy with concern as he reached out and rubbed your shoulder. "Oh, god— come in, come in— what's going on?"

He ushered you into the house, shutting the door behind you and wrapping his arm around you as you sniffled. "I-I'm sorry—" you began instantly.  “I thought— I don’t know why I even came here…”

But, actually, you sort of did.  You’d been wanting to talk to Cillian’s wife, hoping for some motherly advice, until he answered the door and you abruptly remembered she was in England on business for a week or something.  And you couldn’t exactly show up on somebody’s doorstep crying and say ‘oh, sorry, I thought your wife would be home— I’ll come back in a few days’.

You weren’t disappointed by running into him instead, really, you just felt a little weirder about it.  The two of you had never actually been alone before.

"Don't apologise," he soothed, "it's okay, just tell me what's happened. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," you sighed, trying to compose yourself a bit as he guided you to sit on the couch with him. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just... um, well, it's sort of stupid—"

"I'm sure it's not," he offered with a small laugh, "if it's got you this worked up."

"We, um... I think we broke up?"

"What?" he breathed, knitting his eyebrows together— he cared more than you expected... but it sort of made sense, Mr. Murphy had always made you feel welcome here. Mrs. Murphy too, maybe ina different way. Yes, it's bizarre to respond to being dumped by going to visit the guy's parents, you needed a sort of... mature, familial presence right now while you were so far from your own.

You took him through the whole drama as efficiently as possible, trying to regulate your crying so he could actually attempt to make out what you were saying. He listened thoughtfully, perhaps with too much attention compared to what you expected— after all, this was stupid college drama and he was so much more mature than all that. Still, you appreciated a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

"And, uh, that's how he ended it," you finished with a sigh, sniffling as you recalled the heartbreaking conversation. "He basically told me that he's too young to be stuck with one person, and he needs to 'explore his options'..."

"Then he's an idiot," Cillian groaned, "and I hate to say that about my own son— but he's a fuckin' idiot."

"Well," you mumbled, "I don't know— I thought maybe he had a point. I mean, we're pretty young..."

"But look at you, honey," he offered pityingly, "you can't tell me this is what you wanted."

"No, but—"

"And yes, you're young," he added, "but not too young— not if it's real."

You bit your lip to stop it from shaking any more, and he cooed at you gently as he reached up to rub your shoulder.  

“Poor girl,” he breathed.  “Honestly, I always… well, maybe I shouldn’t say it now…”

You looked up at him expectantly, and he smiled nervously as he glanced away.

“Well… I guess I always thought that you could do better,” he admitted with a soft laugh, “but, you know, I didn’t want to say anything, of course.  He was lucky to have you, and I just hoped he would treat you right, but…”

“I thought I was the lucky one,” you replied with a thin smile and another little sniffle.  “He could be really sweet, you know— he used to be.  And I always thought he was, uh, sort of… you know, out of my league.”

“Oh, honey, no,” Cillian frowned, moving his hand up to your face and holding your cheek, wiping a small tear away with his thumb.  “You’re gorgeous.”

You laughed awkwardly, not sure what to think— or how to think— with him looking at you like that.  “I… I don’t know, you’re sweet, but—”

“No, really,” he assured, and only when you met his gaze did you realise how close he was.  You wouldn’t call it too close, only because it didn’t bother you like you knew it should.  “You’re so beautiful.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing actually came out… there was nothing to say.  He was coming closer, you knew it, and you wanted to reach up to stop him just as much as you wanted to shut your eyes and give into it.  You ended up sort of splitting the difference: you rested your hands on his shoulders, but didn’t push him away, and gasped slightly just before he kissed you.  Even a second of resistance could’ve given you some plausible deniability, but no, you fluttered your eyes shut and kissed him back; it didn’t help that you could feel how warm and strong he was through the t-shirt, holding on tighter to his shoulders with a hum.

His hands wandered to your waist, pulling you into him— and you were like putty, embarrassingly enough. With him kissing you like that, you really couldn’t do anything but let him pull you around wherever he wanted.  His lips were soft and gentle, his tongue teased you so carefully, and he even sighed against your skin in the sweetest way… you were totally helpless already.  

Sure, some part of you knew how fucking bizarre this was— that you were kissing Mr. Murphy, your boyfriend’s dad— well… ex-boyfriend’s.  You weren’t blind, you noticed how attractive he was when you met him, but you’d managed to successfully ignore it since then.  It made sense, after all, since the first thing you’d noticed about your boyfriend was his good looks… but Mr. Murphy was handsome in a totally different way.  Strong and broad— not especially massive or anything, still a lean guy— with thin streaks of grey in his hair, a patient sort of smile, subtle wrinkles around his eyes that added a sense of wisdom to his expression… really, he was a bit more of your type.  But that was something you had forced yourself not to acknowledge— until now.

You sat up slightly, holding onto his neck, breathing in sharply through your nose as you kissed him back a little harder.  You could feel him smiling— god, even just that made you feel so desperate— and he even moaned ever-so-quietly when you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathed against your lips, breaking away just enough to make you open your eyes— his lashes seemed especially long as he looked down at your legs curled up on the couch (and his hands petting them slowly.  “You haven’t been treated properly for a long time, have you?”

You whined in the back of your throat involuntarily as you nodded— how could he see right through you like that?  It wasn’t like it was bad with your ex, it was just… not good.  Not enough.  You wanted to feel wanted, not used— not a means to an end.

“Will you let me?” he asked softly, breathing beside your ear on his way in to kiss your neck.  You gasped, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to keep him close, head falling back to give him as much of you as he wanted.  His tongue was fucking fiendish, the way he used it to tickle along your pulse, the sharpness of his teeth making you jolt only for him to soothe you with his plush lips.

“Yes,” you panted, “fuck— I, god, I can’t believe we’re doing this…”

He laughed a little.  “I can,” he admitted.  “All I could fucking think about since I met you…”

That surprised you— you’d never noticed anything that would’ve made you think he thought of you that way… but knowing that he, apparently, had made a shiver run up your spine.

He certainly hid it well, playing the part of the slightly-embarrassing dad and polite husband so well that you never would’ve known… oh god, his wife.  You didn’t want to think of her now, yet the unavoidable memory stirred arousal alongside guilt in your gut.  You had no idea you were this sort of person— but you weren’t really operating logically right now, anyway.

He held your face again as he pulled back, petting your cheek— it made you feel especially juvenile when he did that, holding your chin to examine you.  This wasn’t really the ideal state for you to be looked at, in your opinion, with you having been crying all evening.  But he looked amazed by you, even if it was just for a moment before he looked down at your body and smirked.

“Take this off,” he instructed, tugging at your shirt slightly.  You thought it would’ve been a little more romantic if he helped you out of it, but it was alternatively a bit sexier that he was just going to sit back and watch you strip for him.  It must have been his way of demonstrating his power over you, that you were just going to take it off and toss it aside without question.  Which, of course, you did.

He smiled proudly at the sight, and before you could even get your bra off, he started to carefully tease you through it— fingers running around the edge, moving the straps off your shoulders, tickling up your sides as you shifted nervously on the couch.  

“Look’t that,” he whispered proudly, and you took a second to realise that he was referring to your nipples getting hard enough to poke visibly through the fabric; you felt self-conscious all of a sudden, even if he was clearly enjoying what he was seeing.  “So needy, huh?”

“Y-yeah,” you admitted, whining when he reached inside the cups and ran his fingers over your breasts— they usually weren’t so sensitive.  “Fuck,” you breathed, shutting your eyes as a way to try to escape his gaze.  “I… I need you.”

“Fuck, baby, don’t talk like that,” he groaned, “m’gonna try to take my time with you— how am I supposed to do that if you say such lovely things?”

His lips were on your neck again— and he was leaning you back, laying you down under him, tugging your shorts down with a bit more urgency than he’d had before.

When you were basically naked— or at least, your bra and panties pushed out of the way enough that he could see what he needed to— he purred at the sight, grinning as you hastily undressed yourself the rest of the way.  

"Of course he couldn't appreciate this," Cillian sighed, baring his teeth just a bit. "Of course he couldn't appreciate a perfect fucking body like this— a perfect little pussy like this..."

You were about to open your mouth to say something, though you hadn't even decided yet what it would be, but only a low moan came out when he held your legs open and dove between them, humming as he lapped at your clit. You couldn't imagine why you were so sensitive, but your whole body was shaking already just from the gentlest motions of his tongue...

"Fuck," he said, muffled against your skin, before he pulled back enough to bite playfully on your thigh. "Fuck, darling, you taste delicious. Christ. You're too perfect..."

He devoured you again, exploring all over you with his tongue as your thighs kept instinctively clamping down on his head. He kept looking up at you through it all, even when you couldn't stand to meet his gaze and had to arch your back from the pleasure. "Fuck!" you yelped, grabbing tightly onto his hair. "Fuck, Mr. Murphy, I— oh, god..."

"He never made you come like this, did he?" Cillian realised with a groan, nearly growling when you shook your head. "Has anyone?"

"N-no," you shakily admitted, and he moaned around you as he suckled harder on your clit for a moment until you whined loudly.

"Oh, poor thing," he cooed, "how could anyone taste this sweet cunt of yours, and not want to spend hours between your legs?"

He didn’t need to spend hours, though— the taboo nature of the situation seemed to turn your body into overdrive, making you so sensitive and desperate… or maybe that was just the effect he had on you, but it was hard to say.

The point is, all too soon, you were shivering under him, back arching up off the couch, holding on tightly to his hair.  He hummed approvingly, even moaning against you as he slid his tongue inside; he must have been able to feel you pulsing, moving closer and closer to the edge, because he shut his eyes tight and seemed to focus harder and pushing you further until you couldn’t take anymore.

“Fuck, fuck!” you sobbed, thighs shaking around his head; there really was no exploration to it, no teasing, he just went right in and expertly played you like he’d done this a thousand times.  Maybe he had… but, obviously, he’d never done it to you.  Were you that easy to solve?

Obviously, that question suddenly became the last thing on your mind as your orgasm wracked through you.  He growled encouragingly, still keeping his pace, but you could barely hear it past the ringing in your ears— and your own cries of his name, of course.

He only broke away when your squirms turned into real avoidance: you could only take so much, especially with him suckling on your clit like that.

You were almost nervous to open your eyes again— and you were right, he looked so gorgeous between your legs, obviously smug with having just made you come, it was nearly criminal.

“Is it really that easy to make you come, honey?” he laughed, petting your legs sweetly as he pulled back, looking up at you with a proud grin.  “That’s so fucking cute, baby…”

As he sat up again, wiping the slick off his mouth with the back of his hand, you got this weird, clingy feeling— wanting to chase him even just as he barely moved away.  

But he’d sat up for a reason, and you started to realise it when you sat up, too, and noticed the thick bulge in his jeans.

"Why don't you show me what you can do, sweetheart?" he encouraged with a smile, opening his belt for you. "I'm sure you've learned a thing or two..."

Though you still felt terribly nervous about it, you leaned forward towards his lap. Would it be awful to admit your mouth watered when he freed his cock from his jeans and boxers, holding it out for you as a little bead of precum formed at the tip?

"Show me, baby," he whispered again, "and look up at me."

You nervously blinked up at him, meeting his gaze from his lap, as you wrapped your lips around his swollen head. He bit his lip right away and reached up to hold onto your hair, groaning as you swirled your tongue.

"Fuck," he smirked, "you're sort of a tease, aren't you?"

You weren't trying to be, really, but it didn't sound like he minded too much...

"Oh, fuck," he moaned deeply, making you pulse inside as he tilted his head back. "Fuck, baby, that's good— your mouth is so fucking warm..."

He gasped and panted as he held your head, guiding it to bob just a little faster than you had been moving. "Sweetheart," he choked, "you're so fucking good... fuck!"

The praise made your chest fill with warmth, even if there was still some part of your brain that was recovered enough from the orgasm to remember how horrible this all was.  It was horrible, but perfect— and feeling his cock throb against your tongue was perfect, too.

You’d never been told you were so good at this before, but he kept moaning and petting your head encouragingly, whispering the most wonderful and filthy things.  “Just like that, honey,” he cooed, “mm— pretty thing… knew that mouth of yours would feel so fuckin’ good… just keep sucking my cock, sweetheart.”

That you did— harder and faster, stroking what your mouth couldn’t fit, moaning softly around him.  As you tried to take it deeper, desperate to please him, you gagged on his thick head.

“God, it’s so cute when you choke on it, baby,” he chuckled.  “Do it again.”

This time it was almost too much, but he held your head down and groaned deeply.  It would’ve bothered you more— not being able to breathe— if he didn’t sound so sexy right then…

Thankfully, he pulled you off just in time, making you yelp as he held you by your hair— only to kiss you hard, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.  Moaning, you melted into his arms, and let him guide you to straddle his lap.  Feeling his jeans against your thighs and his shirt against your chest made your heart skip.

He took another long look at you when he broke away, a new darkness in his bright eyes.

“You’re so sexy,” he laughed softly, running his hands over your nude form and raising a brow as he watched goosebumps break out over your skin.  “God, I need to be inside you…”

You bit down on your lip but it didn’t do much to suppress your whimper; lifting yourself up a bit, you grasped his cock and slid it through your folds, guiding him to your entrance.  

You both gasped when he slipped inside, even when it was the slightest penetration— his whole head wasn’t in yet, and you just knew it would stretch you more than you were used to.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned loudly, tilting his head back, “you’re so wet, sweetheart…”

Lowering yourself, you took in a shaky breath, whining slightly as he opened you up one inch at a time... and each one seemed somehow thicker than the last. His fingers seemed to dig deeper into the skin at your hips and ass the lower that you sank onto him.

You could barely believe that you took it all; that you relaxed into his lap fully even when you feared being split in half by how thick he was.  “Oh my god,” you blurted out, operating on instinct as you started to move— grinding back and forth, desperate for friction despite having been satisfied by his incredible mouth just a few minutes ago.

"Fuck, there you go," he encouraged with a growl, looking down at your hips rocking in his lap. "Ride me, just like that— fuck, ride my cock, little fuckin' whore..."

You whimpered at the insult, holding tighter onto his shoulders, but it only made you move faster. "S-so... so deep, Mr. Murphy," you whimpered.

"Yeah? You can take it," he promised darkly, holding tighter onto your waist as he dropped his head back with a low groan. "God, you're tight— fuck."

You gasped as he bucked his hips up, creating more pressure against your over-sensitive clit. "Oh, fuck," you breathed, struggling to cope with all the sensations he was giving you.

Both of you settled on the right pace, and he switched between resting his head back against the couch (giving you a nice view of his gorgeous neck, how could just a neck be so sexy?!) and looking down to watch you go.  “So fuckin’ cute,” he praised— though you were sort of surprised to hear him describe you that way at a time like this.  “So needy, honey… you want more, don’t you?  You wanna go even faster.”

Now that he said it: yeah, you did.  You bounced up and down, your moans coming out all shaky and uneven because of the movement, and he grinned proudly.

His hands wandered up from your waist to your chest, groping you eagerly as you gasped out his name in response.  “Love these tits of yours,” he informed you, sounding oddly sweet for how dirty of a compliment it was.  “Took everything in me not to stare at them when you’d come over for dinner… see what you do to me, sweetheart?  Haven’t felt this desperate since I was your age.”

Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing, reminding you of how much older he was at a time like this.  He purred when he felt you clench on him, obviously affected by the comment.

“Should’ve known you’d give in right away,” he went on, softening his voice to nearly a whisper as he watched you move with heavy eyes; you angled your hips back and moaned louder, his cock rubbing against just the right spot every time now.  “Hungry little thing like you— now I wish I hadn’t waited so long.  We could’ve been doing this the whole time… I could’ve shown you how much better it can be, when somebody really takes care of you.”

Whimpering, you felt another heady pang inside you— if he kept talking like that, you wouldn’t be able to keep your head on straight… then again, the fact that you were here proved that you were less stable than you thought.

“Faster, sweetheart,” he ordered again suddenly.  “I wanna see how desperate you can get.”

You furrowed your brows together, almost pouting, but did exactly what he wanted— you wondered if you looked as pathetic as you sounded, riding him recklessly, chasing another peak even when it took all of your strength in those shaking legs.

He grabbed you by the jaw and guided you into another desperate kiss— all teeth and tongue and low moans.  “Good fucking girl,” he snarled.  “Good little slut.”

“Fuck,” you panted, moving faster.  “Fuck, I’m close—”

“I know, honey,” he cooed, nodding as he moved his hand down to your neck.  “Show me how bad you need it, sweetheart.  Let me see it, I wanna see you come for me.”

Tossing your head back, you cried out his name again— why did you always do that when you came?— and felt it overtake you.  It was even heavier than the last one, even more numbing and draining, and you didn’t even notice how hard you were digging your nails into his shoulders.

When your body failed and you came to a shaky stop, he didn’t give you much time to catch your breath: he grabbed you tight, guiding your head to rest on his shoulder, and began to buck his hips up into you quickly.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” you whined, overwhelmed by the feeling, holding onto him tightly just to have something to keep you grounded.

“Fuck, m’gonna come inside you,” he warned with a growl.  “Gonna fill you, baby, you’ll be so fuckin’ full of my come—”

You sobbed and buried your face in his neck, starting to cry again for a completely different reason than before.

“Tell me you want it,” he ordered, speaking roughly right against your ear.

“F-fuck, I want it,” you gasped, “I want you to come— fuck— come inside me—”

He choked out a few more swears, he held you tight enough that you started to imagine what his bruises would look like on you tomorrow, and with a low groan of your name, it all suddenly slowed to a stop.  You moaned weakly when you felt his cock flexing against your walls, even more heat pooling inside you.  With what little energy you had left, you softly kissed his neck— until he seemed to come back to reality and pushed you back enough to be face-to-face with you again.  

You realised suddenly that you were still sort of crying from the intensity of it all, and got nervous with him staring at you like that.  “I’m sorry,” you sniffled as you wiped your face.

“Don’t apologise,” he told you again, moving your hands away so he could look at you himself.  “Besides, you look even cuter when you cry.”

[astraltrickster]

What frustrates me about disability advocacy is that...of all the people I've seen talk about it, 99% of them - even ones who are disabled themselves - have eventually proven that their support has limits. Really stupid and arbitrary ones, at that.

You support disabled people...but if you see an adult with a DIAPER BULGE in their pants in public it's ON SIGHT, get your kink out of my face! Actually, even if it's not a kink, that's still gross and, like, it's not like the diaper exists to CONTAIN waste, you're a biohazard! Just stay home!

You support disabled people...but, ugh, you're so sick of masks, they feel so icky, the CDC isn't advising them anymore so really how bad can it be, if you don't want to be permanently disabled even worse than you already are then why don't you just stay home forever?

You support disabled people...but if you see anyone using a non-conventional straw that someone's billed as "anti-aging" on TikTok you proudly declare that you'll smack them, because what do you mean it might be a motor control or sensory thing?

You support disabled people...but no one is REALLY so disabled that they can't manage their lights conventionally, clean their homes by themselves, or hold a pen for extended periods of time or at all; that's just something people make up as an excuse for Bad Tech and exploitative luxury services.

You support disabled people...but, god, control your by-definition-uncontrollable tics, they're SOOOO annoying and rude!

You support disabled people...but when someone stops masking or runs out of spoons and starts speaking in a choppy, hard-to-understand way, it's a joke.

You support disabled people...but AAC is, like, sooooo annoying and hard to understand, learn to talk like a normal person instead of pointing like a baby or whatever, geez.

You support disabled people...but you hate image descriptions and video transcriptions because they're, like, sooooo ugly and transcriptions SPOIL things. (Not to be confused with "frequently not having the spoons to translate images and videos into text, which is a skill; one which everyone should try to develop, but a skill nonetheless" - I get that, it happens to me, but if you take issue with OTHER people adding them to your posts for Aesthetic Reasons, you're...kind of a dick! I'm not sorry for saying it!)

You support disabled people...but you think teehee funny joke annotations are a much more valuable use of caption tracks than, you know, actual captions are.

You support disabled people...but you still concern-troll people with armchair diagnoses of heavily stigmatized disorders for harmless weirdness, or try to paint them as icons of some kind of horrible social ill.

You support disabled people...but you're still convinced that every asshole is mentally ill, probably A Narcissist, and what do you mean that's a loaded thing to call someone when a heavily stigmatized disorder is rudely misnamed as such too, isn't it easier to, like, change the name of the disorder throughout the whole system than it is to just stop using that word as your go-to Bad Person Pathologizing Word, which you definitely need? (Or worse, you see no problem with this clash because you're convinced it IS Bad Person Disorder...)

You support disabled people...but you see someone mumbling to themself on the bus and you get as far away from them as possible because it's "scary".

You support disabled people...but you constantly try to pull "gotcha"s about people telling you not to touch people's assistive devices.

You support disabled people...but someone being okay with their delusional disorder and talking about that is BAD and PROMOTING SELF-HARM.

You support disabled people...but your body positivity still focuses exclusively on "people can be healthy and fat at the same time!" as if people who ARE fat because of health issues and/or have health issues BECAUSE of their weight don't exist or deserve support.

You support disabled people...but you declare that advocates who want us all to have more access to things that improve your quality of life are the REAL ableists for acknowledging that those things that you currently can't do tend to improve quality of life.

You support disabled people...but your advocacy for yourself involves distancing yourself from people with more support needs than you.

You support disabled people...but you treat addiction of any kind, or use of anything with known addictive tendencies, as a moral failing.

You support disabled people...until the accommodations they need clash with your own, then it's not just a benign incompatibility that sucks just as much for them as it does for you; no, you are an innocent victim and they are a horrible ableist.

You support disabled people...until it's too inconvenient. Too weird. Too scary. Once that line is crossed, it's not a disability issue anymore, they're, conveniently, just a Bad Person.

It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick to death of it.

[lunargrapejuice]

Hi how are you doing I was wondering if I can request a wriothesley, Neuvillette, xiao, and zhongli(separately) with a pregnant reader who falls down the stairs but the reader is okay

thank you for requesting! i'm sorry, i didn't write xiaos i just couldn't come up with something worthy of sharing slkhdfs but i hope you enjoy everyone elses<3

wriothesley, neuvillette + zhongli (separately) x pregnant!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort theme but no one actually gets hurt, lots of tears and congrats you've given your beloved a heart attack but all is well

wriothesley:

you’re nearly to the top of the stairs in wriothesleys office when you see he isn’t here and let out a huff at how the trip up these stairs makes you so breathless in your current, very pregnant, state. by the lingering warmth and sweet scent of tea in the air, he must have been here not too long ago and at this point you might just take the few last steps up and rest of the couch, skipping your appointment with sigewinne and waiting for your husband to return here but maybe wrio was already making his way to the clinic.

at the height of your pregnancy brain right now, you can’t quite remember now if you told him this morning that you’d meet him here or there but with the lack of his presence now, you’re starting to think it’s the former. 

letting go of the chilled railing just long enough to turn around, you hold on tightly with each step you take down, your other hand cradling your round belly. you have to take each step one at a time, one foot after the other and archons it’s so exhausting to walk and your feet hurt and you just want to be laying in bed in your beloved arms with a serving bowl size of whatever you’ve been craving throughout the day.  

but especially to be with wriothesley. your pregnancy has brought your affection and want for him to a whole other level that was making it so you really might cry if you didn’t see him soon. he just.. made everything better with only a gentle touch and a flash of his smile, though it also helps that he dotes on your every want and need when he’s able and when it’s within reason. 

maybe it was that want that made your heart skip a beat when the large doors of his office open and not a second later you see the familiar tips of his dark hair and your already tired legs wobble, making you miss the next step down. it hurts your arm trying to hang onto the railing at such an awkward angle and you’re forced to let go, your body tensing and instinctively wrap around your stomach to try to prepare you for the impact of the metal stairs as you fall.

wriothesleys chest tightens quickly and terribly at the sight unfolding before him. he isn’t sure how he’s able to get out the call of your name but it seems drowned out anyways against his heavy boots hitting the ground, moving as fast as he possibly can to catch you. his knees crash into the metal stairs painfully in his movements to catch you in his arms but it’s nothing compared to how it feels to have you crashing into his body, your belly pressed against his chest, your trembling hands reaching for him as soon as they can.

he’s shaking too, despite how steady he is with the pressure he uses to hold you in this awkwardly crouched stance. not enough to hurt you, never enough to hurt you, but there’s no way you’re slipping from his grasp either.

“i’ve got you,” his voice is deep, barely above a whisper and with a quiver of lingering fear that makes you burst into tears even though you try so hard to hold them back.

the worried look on his face hurts more than the brunt of the few steps your body took. it’s nothing more than a fading throb of pain compared to cords of your heart strings being pulled more than they could handle right now and it’s all your fault - if you’d just - 

“i’m sorry,” you sob out, letting go of him to cover your weeping eyes. you feel him shift, keeping you in his arms with one strong arm at your back, the other under your knees, while he stands straight and easily holds you there, safe but maybe not so sound when you can’t stop crying. 

“sweetheart,” you can still hear the shake of his voice through how he’s still trying to remain calm for both of you while soothing your tears when you can’t find an ounce of it in yourself. “need you to tell me you’re okay,” because if you don’t he’ll be running with you in his arms as fast as he can to sigewinne.

you nod your head, doing all you can to get the words out. “’m okay.” you mumble through your tears. your wet hands move to grip onto the lapel of his vest, holding him tighter than before and you bury yourself in the comfort of his chest, taking in the good breath you can and it's so full of wriothesley you can’t help but sink further into his hold. “.. i’m s-sorry.”

he lets out a breath of relief as he leans down to kiss your temple. his lips and minty breath are warm, a balm to your overwhelming emotions and with a gentle voice he soothes you further, walking up the steps leading to his office. “it’s okay baby.” 

keeping you in his arms, he settles on the couch, letting your weary legs spread out over the cushion so he has a free hand to move the hair from your face, his tender and patient touch coaxing you to look at him once you’re ready. your eyes are puffy but still so beautiful, your breath starting to slow and returning to nearly normal at the feeling of his touch traveling from your face to your stomach, a large palm spread over the perfect curve of your baby bump.

his steady promise only calms you further, “everythings okay. we’re all okay.”

neuvillette:

after your nap on one of the many couches in the iudex office, a nap you hadn’t really expected to take when you stopped by to see neuvillette, you were surprised to wake alone. your trek here must have been more tiring than you thought since when you fell asleep you were resting on his arm and apparently hadn’t woken up when he tucked you under a blanket and put a pillow under your head.

when these items first made it here it was because of how many nights he spent sleeping in his office for a few hours in the late night before getting back to work. those nights had since stopped, especially since you found out you were pregnant, and now the comfortable blanket and pillow were more your own, these days only being used to cover your growing belly and rest your head comfortably when you inevitably fall asleep here.

but usually your husband was within reach when you awoke.

using your hands to help push yourself off the couch, you waddle towards the doors of his office, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, and the moment the large doors open, sedene is at your side with a wide smile and even bigger violet eyes. after rather excitedly asking if she can do anything for you, she lets you know neuvillette left her with a message that he would be just outside if you needed anything and with a thank you and a smile you head towards the doors of the palais mermonia.

it’s not that you needed anything from him per say, you felt okay and you know most things you could have asked sedene for. you also know how busy of a man he is so maybe you should have waited for him to come back inside but he had assured you, after one tearful night in the beginning of your pregnancy, that needing him was okay too. 

so you let your heart lead you to him, past the workers and visitors with only one thing on your mind; being in his arms even if it's only for a few more minutes before he has to get back to work and you take your own leave, having a few more errands to run before the day ends.

outside is warm under the bright sun, a cooling breeze keeping it from being too hot. it takes your eyes a few moments to adjust to the difference in light but you still spot the silhouette of neuvillette. many would agree he is easy to spot in a crowd but for you it was for far different reasons than just his height and his title and even now when all you could make out was the blue hue of his coat like a sparkling shell in the sand that is your blurry vision, you know it’s him and you can feel the movement of your baby at the emotions that stir within you as you take the steps towards him.

except two steps in, still trying to blink away the last of the dots of sunlight in your adjusting vision, there is no ground underneath your feet. you try to reach for the hand extended out to you though you don’t know whose it is but aren’t able to reach it in time before you begin to fall.

neuvillette doesn’t excuse himself from the conversation he had brought out here in order to allow you to sleep without disturbance before he’s moving quickly through the small crowd of people in order to get to you, his heart in his throat and even though he can move faster than most of those around him would be able to see, it doesn’t feel like fast enough when he watches you stumble.

it’s a split second, a blur of azure and white that hardly even moves the air in its wake, a blink of an eye and neuvillette has crossed the courtyard outside the palais mermonia and captured you in his arms before you can fall any further. 

you can feel and hear a thundering heart beat but between the two of you, with how close you are to neuvillette, you don’t know if it’s yours or his. behind his shoulder you can see the once bright blue sky is now covered by gray clouds and when your eyes focus on the face of the beautiful man holding you, you can see why it’s suddenly turned so dark, that the storm behind his worried eyes mirrors the one that brews in the sky.

it makes you want to cry way more than the pain of your fall and before you’ve even realized it, you break out in a full blown sob, hiding your face in his chest. you can feel the world around you move, it’s like you're nearly weightless, floating through the air like you aren’t incredibly pregnant but you don’t care to pull away from your place against your beloved to look around you and before you know it, you’re being gently placed back on the couch you had been asleep on just a bit ago.

neuvillette settles on his knees in front of you and you bring your hands up to face to wipe your tears but they fall to the top of your belly instead when long slender fingers beat you to it, their gentleness and warmth on your cheek beyond comforting. you don’t even know when he had time to take his gloves off but his skin on yours is exactly what your startled heart needed to settle. 

and though it is helping his own to see you calming down and feel you leaning into his touch, neuvillette has hardly been able to take a breath. it felt like it was taking all of his strength just to keep his hands steady. lavender petalled eyes shining with ethereal blue haven’t been able to tear from you and take in every inch of your skin, the curve of your baby bump that you hold in your arms, the small scrape on your hands where you tried to catch yourself that hadn’t broken your skin, your wobbly lip as you take in a deep breath, and the wet lashes that kiss his skin with every tear he wipes away.

“i’m sorry..” you break the worried silence between you when his eyes meet yours. “i just..”

his thumbs caress along your cheeks in a slow back and forth motion and though he’s steadying with every passing moment, there’s a tremble to his voice that’s laced with relief and lingering worry. “you have no reason to be sorry, my dear. the most important thing is that you are okay.”

nodding your head, your hand with the small scrape comes up to cradle one of his and your fingers wrap around his palm, needing no strength at all to bring it down to your belly. his long fingers splay over your bump, taking in the feeling of you under his palms as your face leans into his other hand.  “we’re both okay,” you assure him with a heartfelt smile and see the room behind him brighten in the unimpeded sunlight once more.

zhongli:

liyue was always so lovely this time of night, quiet but still with cheerful life, the lantern light shining through the streets in a warm yellow hue and even the sea seemed to settle in the moons presence with gentle crashes of waves along the harbor. you waddle along the path leading to the main entrance of the harbor from the inner city, yes waddling because you don’t know how else to describe the way your very pregnant body moves with each step. 

you can’t wait to show the baby in your belly this beautiful city, their home that was built by the hands of their father and kept by the people he entrusted with it now that his life is full of another kind of duty, dedicated to you and your growing family. and you know zhongli is just as ecstatic, already telling your baby of this world in the night when he kisses your round stomach and thanks you for giving him such a gift; your shared love and what wonderful miracles came with it.

if you could, you’d hasten your step to try to meet zhongli sooner. with him being at work all day, you were more than anxious to see him. now more than ever you had been partially needy for him, much to his pleasure because he couldn’t deny the more.. dragon-like tendencies your pregnancy had brought out in him. 

today was a rare one when he wasn’t able to make it home for lunch and had to work later than usual but you knew you could find him at the harbor when his office turned up empty in your impatience to be with him. you just hoped you wouldn’t be interrupting his work when you did find him.

doctor baizhu had expressed the importance of taking walks in your pregnancy but the further along you got, the more tiring that had became and today you think you’re finding your current limit. which looks to be a little more than halfway down the steps to the harbor with no railing to lean on. holding your belly with one hand, you take it one step at a time, both feet to a step before taking the next, every inhale deep and trying to keep you steady, calm.

you’re nearly to the bottom when you spot your husband's tall figure standing out amongst the people scattered around the harbor. for as human as he made this form, he stood out to you as the most beautiful among them, ethereal in a way that reminds you he is the lord of geo but more importantly nowadays, yours.

not wanting him to worry because all you really needed was a moment, you try to cover up your aching exhaustion with a smile and a wave when you feel his eyes on you and watch him turn towards you but in your fatigue and maybe even distraction of finally seeing him, you miss calculate your step and before you can try to think of what to do aside from protecting your belly, you feel the world tip in your descent down the steps.

he felt your presence, like the most precious of stones that hummed with the same beat of his heart, that had been searching for him, and as soon as you were within vision, his golden eyes were on you but he had hardly gotten a chance to take a step in your direction when you misstepped and the world slows as you fall.

the wood of the harbor groans at the sudden change in the earth below the water that shakes in a strained cry and the change of pressure in the air feels like celestia was trying to freeze time, stop anything from moving until zhongli commanded it to restart.

time didn’t stop but in a blink zhongli is kneeling on the steps with you in his arms, concrete digging into his mortal flesh but he doesn't feel it over what's coursing through his body. it wasn’t going to fix or do anything in this situation but a golden shield floats all around, blocking out the rest of the world, the eyes you know are on you but there’s only one pair you can focus on. 

zhonglis pupils are thin slits that you swear are trembling, the honey flecks of his eyes glowing with godly power that steals the air from your lungs. its as if he’s trying to look through your very being to be sure you’re okay but not having ability to see past the tears in your eyes and how tightly you hold onto your stomach. you’re shaking, or he is. you really can’t tell which, maybe it was the entirety of liyue but there’s nothing you can see or hear of the world outside the shield he has around you and the rapid heartbeats you share as one.

you’re definitely shaking. you can see it in your fingers that reach for his face, soothing over his cheek as you try to push past the sob you want to break out into and find your words. you needed to calm him down before this became more of a scene, before he really did bring down harbor.

“i’m not hurt,” there is only a dull ache where your body hit the steps but you were able to keep it all away from the baby. shaking up though- yes, far more than you want to admit. you have hardly ever seen him like this but you can feel that both you and your baby are unharmed physically and once zhongli called down, so could you. “i’m okay,” you tell him and you mean it despite the fact you can feel the tears escaping your eyes without your consent. it's happened far too many times to count during your pregnancy but right now you really need it to stop. “i’m okay zhongli,” you urge.

the pain behind his eyes seems to soften, as though he might share in your tears too but the tremble around you begins to feel like it belongs to only the two of you once more. good, he’s calming down.

you aren’t sure why that makes you lose your composure even more though. perhaps now that you knew he would be okay, you could finally let go of everything you held back. or now that everything was coming back to normal, you realize the scene you’ve made all over your own mistake. whatever it was, it felt like a flood overwhelming your every emotion.

biting your bottom lip, you try to stop it’s tremble as you cling onto your husband. you can’t be bothered with how pitiful you sound right now. “please take me home..”

without a word, in a whirl of golden smoke and a matter of moments, you’re in your bedroom, the familiar scent of your home filling your nose and helping to calm your uneasy breaths. his strides are steady and long as he makes his way to the bed, sitting on the edge with you cradled in his lap, crying into his shoulder.

“my lily,” his voice quivers but he holds you with strength and love and tenderness. “please take a breath.” a large hand smooths down your back, feeling you hiccup as you try to follow his own breaths. resting a palm on your belly, splaying long golden fingers over your bump, you feel the comfortable, anchoring weight of his forehead on yours. “i’ve got you.”

♡♡♡♡♡

genshin impact masterlist | main masterlist