#but I'm doing better :)
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OCD is so weird because what do you mean I have contamination anxiety about my towel hanging in the bathroom?
I finally overcame that yesterday. I sort of still stress about it at certain points throughout the day. But it's still in the bathroom. So I'm proud of myself.
#I haven't hung my towel up in the bathroom in years due to contamination OCD#my towel is also green because of contamination ocd#I can only use green hygiene products#it's very stressful#but I'm doing better#ocd#mh#actuallyocd#contamination ocd#bug speaks
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I find it comical that Bad is suffering the most out of the creators without his daily dosage of qsmp. The man's life was built around the eggs he has no clue what to do without them
#qsmp#mayonaka rambles#badboyhalo#cc badboyhalo#I to am suffering from withdrawls#but i'm doing better
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editing some fics on Ao3 because it gives me something to do and takes way less energy than writing a new one.
edited:
pretend
in her gentle care
touch my soul and hold my hand
only the important things
salt and pepper
waiting for you, for time and all eternity
wishful winning
#editing fics#I'm doing better now#I'm just exhausted#and in breakdown mode#like. non verbal shit going on#but I'm doing better#fanfic#my writing
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me after the 6 hour anxiety attack from hell 馃槆
#im still coming down from it#broke down in front of my mom and it kind of worked#im gonna need days to recover#but I'm doing better#haven't slept tho#bridge post 馃
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In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of
#this was going to be a quick little thing and ended up consuming the better part of a day#why am I like this#while we discuss batfam doing sports just for the fun of absolutely crushing the competition#I raise you quarter back Jason#He's got killer aim I'm told#jason todd#jason todd fanart#batfamily#batfamily fanart#gotham knights#gotham university#gotham sports#gotham knights football#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#gothamites are scary#singswan-springswan art
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Something that stuck with me was in middle school, the lowest point of my depression, and I was surrounded with my friends who were similarly depressed. Math class had everyone in desk groups of four, so my little corner was me, two of my also depressed friends, and one friend who was not depressed and was actually pretty positive and upbeat.
Well one day she sat at a desk group with her other friends since one of them wasn鈥檛 there that day, and when she joined us again she described how the mood was just. so different. Like we had a big fog of depression around us, and when she sat with the other group it was so much warmer and brighter.
After that I made more of an effort to take care of myself, because at the time that was how my brain worked. If I was just making myself miserable, that鈥檚 fine, and my friends were already just as miserable as I was, but hearing how I was bringing her mood down was a bit of a wake-up call.
It took a lot more therapy after that to actually improve, but that made me more willing to actually participate in therapy. Now I have a much healthier outlook and I try to do things that make me happy.
not to be rude but some of y'all need to look on the bright side sometimes. like, yeah sure the world is fucked and people suck and we all die whatever, sure, but like. go outside.
#i did have a guilt spiral when i saw i was making her miserable#that habit more than any other took the longest to break#but i'm doing better#even though i struggle to be a functional person sometimes
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny#I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh#@ staff do this cowards#spy has thoughts#my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track#functional website#spy's smash hits#Glock function#edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this#but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up#I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one
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just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey
#fallout#fallout tv show#my art#lucy maclean#i was not expecting it to be so good but it was!! delightful#i think i like video game adaptations better when they do their own thing with it lol#such a relief to instead of seeing something regurgitated mindlessly for profit#its actually just a completely fresh story but in a familiar setting. cool balm on my skin#i guess that's where i'm at in the remake hell we all live in rn#ella purnell has the sweetest biggest eyes i've ever god damn seen
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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Kim Kitsuragi is a fascinating character because there's not that much fun or interesting or compelling about him. And yet somehow over the course of playing Disco Elysium the game rewires your fucking brain around him. He's the middest man you've ever seen in both appearance and personality but at some point he says something kind to you or something critical of you and you feel like you just got hit by a truck and you need his approval like you need oxygen and like how tf did this happen. what are you
#disco elysium#de#kim kitsuragi#i have an interdisciplinary degree in game design and psychology and i'm still unsure how they pulled this off#my best guess is that the early game beats you over the head with how much you suck and everyone hates you#and this allows for any genuine praise from another character to feel massive#the fact that he doesn't take pity on you ever contributes to praise from him feeling earned. like you CAN get better#whereas pity from lena or judit#while comforting#doesn't do anything to alleviate how pathetic you feel
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
#writing#fic writing#like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it#and i am still thinking about it A LOT#talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood#it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it#it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in
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oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.
and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.
#I didn't expect it to be this soon#she's been sleeping more and urinating outside of the litter box#so I was planning on getting her on arthritis meds to see if those helped her move around better#but tonight......I know how animals act when they're dying.#something has gone wrong inside her#god these things always happen at night when the vets have closed 馃拃#all I can do is stay with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible#this sucks#at least she still feels good enough to eat the apple slice I'm offering and tooth-purr while being stroked
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((I meant to do drafts.. but the thing with my boss just really put me in a really bad mood so I just wanted my comfort ship..
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gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 馃槱馃憣馃徎
(also, the way he was this 馃馃徎 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 馃槱 my girl really can't catch a break 馃ぇ)
#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#neil gaiman#do you have any idea how hard it was to distinguish wtf he was wearing exactly#when this walking disaster idea of fashion is black on black on black on black??!?!!?#i had to up the lightness to the max#and i'm still not 100% on the details tbh#but oh well#I'm sure I made better choices than he did
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hypothesis: vampires are magically vulnerable to light originating from the sun
observation: moonlight has no effect on vampires, despite being a reflection of the sun
conclusion: this aversion is not a result of light or its origin, but some property of sunlight only present in direct contact
hypothesis: vampires are extremely sensitive to uv radiation
#the notes are just people pointing out that i'm like the last person to think of this#sorry. i'll try better next time.#vampire#shitpost#dracula daily#are they doing that again this year?#i miss it
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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