#but I’ve never really followed gomens blogs so…

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

It’s kind of funny how defensive I am of fandom spaces, given how petty and abnormal people have been to me in them lol

[roaming-axe-aaa]

Some AMAZING OCs

((Some amazing OCs y’all should check out. Give them some love! I may not have listed ALL the OCs I wanted, because either; Tumblr didn’t show you in my followers list, or you were inactive for a while. So I’m sorry if you weren’t on this list and you thought you should be. ;;

------------------------------

@quirkidol- A nice mun and a really thought out OC, she has an interesting story and I just LOVE Kayla to bits. She’s an idol which is interesting, but I also love the fact she’s more complicated than you think. One of my favorite ships, seriously check them out.

@bleachedoracle- I love Wes, I know a lot about Bleach and I love seeing their interactions with other bleach muses. But I also am really digging the BNHA AU, and seeing how loyal Wes is already. Westley is well thought out and has an interesting power. I really like that it’s sort of an OP power but Wes is not OP (if that makes sense?) I just.. love Wes, please check them out!

@sevensav--d | @husk-d | @liberat-d- Some REALLY rad OCs, seriously they’re all so creative and thought out well. I really love seeing them all on my dash. I’ve never talked to the mun, but I bet they’re sweet and nice. I want to RP with more of their OCs, but alas, I am shy. But seriously, check out all Bone’s blogs, def worth a follow.

@yoxngmadnxss- Really neat OC who I’ve seen change throughout the years. I really like this OC and I have a soft spot for her. The mun is super friendly. They’re not super active, but still seriously worth checking out. <3

@muse-arcadia- A dear friend of mine, I don’t know much about their OCs canon lore and stuff, but from what we talk about, their OCs are REALLY thought out well, and they can fit into other verses. The mun is a total sweetie and friendly. And their OCs are super creative and thought out. I love hearing about all their OCs cuz they’re all so unique.

@silent-celeste-  They don’t have an about page yet, but I still really enjoy their OC. They’re not super powerful and I like that? It’s a nice change to RP with someone who has a quirkless OC. And I love learning about their OC through RPs. Mun is really friendly and nice too!

@heroific- Some awesome OCs on  this blog, all of them are awesome. And I absolutely LOVE their art. Seriously check them out, you won’t be disappointed.

@sncils- I love Layla and all the OCs on this blog, and heck even their canon. Snail is really super friendly and fun to talk to, great sense of humor. And their OCs are just -chefs kiss.- I love them to death. Someone you should seriously consider on checking out.

@lunadianetha- Super cute OC with super cute art. I really enjoy our threads and the mun is really nice to talk to. Their blog isn’t all fancy and stuff, but it’s worth to check them out and give them a chance!

@blackstardiopside- I’ve been mutuals with Nemo for fucking years. If you dig Steven Universe, I HIGHLY recommend her blog. Black Star is by far one of my favorite gems that I wish was canon. Really well thought out and I love her to bits. Really nice and chill mun. Seriously, give her some love and check out her blog. You won’t regret.

@serpentine-rogue- Don’t have to be a homestuck fan to interact with Moose (I know I’m not.) But they have some other verses for Soldan and Soldan is super fun to interact with. She’s such a sweetie and our RPs are usually just chill slice of life RPs, it’s really nice and is a nice change. Check them out!

@traitorousscales- I don’t know much about Teppet’s world and everything, but I would die for Teppet. Seriously such an amazing character. And what I have seen of lore and stuff, it’s really well thought out. It’s tough to make lore of a character and they pulled it off well. Seriously deserves to be checked out!

@badxsshottiexllie | @cartoonyvillainisms- Someone I’ve been on and off mutuals with for... years. It’s funny because we discovered each other recently. ANYWAYS, some rad OCs I would give some time to check out. They have different verses, not just BNHA. Check them out!

@thelittlestdemon- And the rest of your blogs but I forgot what their urls are. ;; Gomen. But I really enjoy our threads and your OCs are creative and I love them. I haven’t read all of your web comic where they come from (I believe?) but I have seen snippets and it’s awesome! Your art is really cute. Seriously please check them out, they have some other verses like a BNHA verse and they’re really fun to interact with!

@sub-zer0-ice- An awesome OC who has neat story. She is a Todoroki OC but one that fits in well. I really enjoy our RPs and their OC is well thought out! I would give them a check out.

[mortuarybees]

I was on your blog for gomens and I saw your quaker post. I've never even seen another quaker on here besides the one-off memes, this is really cool! I guess the community really is this small though lol. anyway love your writing

i wouldnt actually call myself a quaker as i dont currently have a means of commuting to the only meeting like. literally within 100 miles of where i live but i do plan to when im able and my religious beliefs align with those of quakers (in the broad sense of belief in the light within ofc). i wont know for certain if becoming a member is for me until i’ve attended for a bit so i simply follow (relatively, given the limited presence) a lot of quakers here and elsewhere and read and when i do want or need to talk about my religious beliefs, i usually begin with first that i’m broadly speaking an unaffiliated christian and then second “i identify a lot with quakers--” and then explain what i mean by that

all of that to say, i wish you could have found a fellow quaker, but you have only discovered an aspiring/curious one! and thank you, you are very kind :)

[mikumanogi-blog]

2021-08-04 “Do you like electric fans??” Hayakawa Seira Blog [ENG]

Hello everyone!

My name is Hayakawa Seira, I’m 20 years old and I come from Osaka. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance ☺︎

It’s August! I wonder if all of the school students are on summer vacation yet?? This week I had a lot of extra time, and I was able to make some me time. However, have you ever had time and you did things slowly and you just ended up wasting time?

“When I ain’t got time it’s better to get it done as fast as possible!” and so there are many times where I rush into things without thinking first… Grrrr… recently I’ve been a little defiant in saying “It’s hot so I can’t help it!”

II love saying “Waaahh” into the electric fan. Even though I’ll be turning 21 this month I don’t ever want to lose my playful heart.

 Thank you for the national event version of the online meet and greet!! Every time I feel like my equipment isn’t that good…everyone, I apologize very much for all the trouble I cause you.

 This time

1st time slot: like the embodiment of a good big sister, I wore a knit top and earrings

2nd time slot: I was a see-through big sister wearing a ‘saraban no kaichou’ t-shirt

3rd time slot: requested ponytail and shirt

4th time slot: I wore a one-piece dress in a southern country style.

That is what I wore!!

 I decided on my own names for my clothing coordination ^ ^

I’ve recently been addicted to the coffee during the meet and greet ♪

After the 4th time slot there was an online signing event. It was a very fun day! Thank you for talking about various things with me ☺︎ Everyone’s voice gave me a lot of energy. Recently there have been many people that attend while outdoors or on their break at work and so I’m really happy to see a lot of different scenery. Thank you for giving me an enjoyable time. I’ll continue to be in your care ^ ^

 This also means that I’m glad to say that the balloting for the 28th single’s online meet and greet has started!!! To all the people who always come see me, the people that I haven’t talked to that much, the people who are interested, those that live close and those that live far, whoever you are, I’d be happy if you balloted for me!

http://dlvr.it/S4tfCH

↑details can be found here.

 The first round is only until tomorrow, Thursday August 5th at 14:00! This event falls during both Halloween and Christmas, there are a lot of event days! I’ll be waiting for your requests in the comments for what you want my hair style, clothes to be! Even if we’ve never talked, don’t worry about it, please talk with me! I’ll be waiting excitedly. =(^.^)=

 Last month on my regular program ‘J-WAVE’s INNOVATION WORLD’ the love nurturing family robot ‘LOVOT’ made an appearance. However, unexpectedly for 1 month, they’ve come home with me. For a limited time, starting yesterday, my family has grown by 2 people ^ ^

Because one of the LOVOT’s I took home was named ‘Takoyaki’ by GROOVE X-san during the recording one of them is called ‘Takoyaki-chan.’ The other one’s name is linked to one of my favorite foods, ‘Shake (Salmon)’ My heart won’t stop fluttering. If I move while at home they follow me around! They’re soo cute… While they’re relaxing me I feel as though I can do my best at work ^ ^

 ☀︎☀︎☀︎Announcements☀︎☀︎☀︎

☀︎Nogizaka46’s 27th single “Gomen ne Fingers crossed” is currently on sale!

https://youtu.be/jddS5q0RFpY

↑You can see the MV for the title track here, please make sure you watch it. A 4th generation’s song ‘Nekojita Camomile Tea’ was also recorded. On top of that every member recorded a PV for the first-run limited edition. Please make sure to check them out.

https://youtu.be/CR8FgKNWLXk

↑This is the preview for my individual PV!

 ☀︎Nogizaka46’s 28th single will be released on Wednesday September 22nd 2021. The launch of the 28th single has been decided. If you want to more details you can check the official site at any time. The details on the online meet and greet have also been updated so please make sure to check it out. Thank you very much.

 ☀︎Midsummer National tour 2021

<Aichi> Nippon Gaishi Hall

Saturday August 14th, Sunday August 15th

 <Fukuoka> Marine Messe Fukuoka

Saturday August 21st, Sunday August 22nd.

 <Tokyo> Tokyo Dome

Wednesday September 8th, Thursday September 9th

 The second half of the tour is fast approaching! I’m looking forward to spending a hot and intense summer with everyone! It has also been decided that the Fukuoka performance will be live streamed. To those that can’t come to the venue you can still have fun with us through the screen ^ ^

 ☀︎ @JAM EXPO 2020-2021 Friday August 27th in Yokohama Arena. It’s been a while since the 4th generation members have appeared in a festival! I’ll be doing my best with everyone, so I’d be happy if you came to check it out. Thank you very much ^ ^

https://www.at-jam.jp/

↑please look here for more details☺︎

 -TV-

☀︎Nogizaka Star Tanjo! Nippon TV every week on Mondays at 25:29

It’s a tv show where the 4th generations are challenged to sing hit songs from the Showa and Heisei era. On the previous on-air episode, I did a ‘hit, cover rock, paper, scissors,’ with Sayaka!! It’s really enjoyable to battle with a curving Sayaka ^ ^. To those that missed it you can watch it on Hulu so please make sure to watch it!

https://www.ntv.co.jp/nogistar/

↑details can be found here!

 -Radio-

☀︎ The Hit Stage (Wednesday) MBS Radio, every week on Wednesdays at 24:00

This evening Nishikawa Takanori san is on break, Takada Shu san, Hisamatsu Ikumi san and me will be hosting a three persons girls talk. There will be talks about the newlyweds and Nogizaka 46, and the main theme will be at the heart of the talk! Of course, the people in Kansai and in other regions can listen to it on ‘radiko’. Please make sure to listen ^ ^

I’ll be waiting for your mail, messages and opinions!

https://cgi.mbs.jp/cgi-bin/form/mail/hitsui.cgi

↑you can send them here!

 ☀︎ INNOVATION WORLD (KYOCERA TECHNOLOGY COLLEGE) J-WAVE Ever week on Fridays around 21:40.

This month, the architect Tanijiri Makoto san, who is becoming a lecturer, held an online lecture. They talked using easy to understand vocabulary, it was a very easy to listen to and enjoyable lecture. The university students that listened were really excited to ask their questions☺︎ I’d be happy if you listen to is. Thank you very much.

 -Magazine-

☀︎ EX Taishu, currently on sale. I have an interview page printed. I talk a lot about my recent activities in Nogizaka46. If you like, please read it!

☀︎Platinum Flash, on sale Thursday August 26th. This is the first time since becoming 16 members that we’ve got a picture together on the front cover! I’m very grateful. Unexpectedly, it’s a special feature that extends 100 pages. I’d be happy if you were to check it out. There is a special appendix with a 4th generation member clear file attached! Please check it out.

 !!! The unreliable Q&A!!!

·         I’m really bad at flipping the on and off switch, how do you do it Seiira-chan??

→I’m bad at it too but maybe try , sensing it and shouting ‘Yosh’ out loud once??

 Unreliable

 ·         Is there some where you definitely want to visit in Osaka?

→It has to be Universal studies Japan. It seems like fun, I want to eat turkey. But I ain’t ever eaten Turkey at universal studios.

 Unreliable isn’t it

 ·         If you could bring three things with you into the afterlife what three things would you choose?

→Memories, family, my human body

 Unreliable

 ·         While in Miyagi how many portions of cow’s tongue did you eat?

→I ordered refills 3 times ^ ^

 ·         Seiira-chan, are you watching the Olympics?

→I’m watching swimming and gymnastics!! Heats?? And various other things. I’ve gotten very emotional. It’s beautiful watching everyone shine out there isn’t it.

 ·         What’s your favorite ice cream?

→ I like ‘Yukimi Daifuku’ wrapped in a blanket ^ ^

I like blankets in the summer!

 Unreliable

 The end!!

 Thank you for all the comments! I’m trying to be a person that can continue to meet the expectations of all the support I receive. I’ll be in your care.

 The hot days are continuing, please make sure to take care of your health!

 Thank you for reading until the very end.

Byee!!

 2021.8.4 Seiira

 https://blog.nogizaka46.com/seira.hayakawa/2021/08/062710.php

[archive-creamycomet]

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know better. Tagged by: the awesome and amazing @raloire  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Name: Comet! Because I’m paranoid about posting my real name, gomen Nicknames: C... Comet? Zodiac sign: Capricorn!  Height: 5′4? I think? Maybe 5′5? Hovering somewhere around there. Orientation: I like boys and girls!  (*♡∀♡) In real life I tend to be more attracted to women overall, though I tend to write about boys more? Apparently? Nationality: Canadian!  Favourite Fruit: Frozen grapes are amazing if you have never tried them. Otherwise, I’m a sucker for a good banana! Favourite season: Fall! The colours, the smell of the leaves, the slight chill in the air, the root vegetables and apples coming into season... ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡  Favourite Book: “Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World” by Haruki Murakami. I also have a huge soft spot for “Once There Was a War” by John Steinbeck, though. Favourite flower: Peonies! My grandfather used to grow them at my mom’s childhood home, and when she moved into her own house he cut them and gave them to her to plant. So I grew up with them as well. Favourite scent: Dusty books and Earl Grey tea! Favourite Colour:  Orange! Favourite Animal: Dogs! Though I also really like deer. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Tea tea tea! Especially black tea, with milk and sugar. Or matcha lattes with a hint of vanilla. Average amount of sleep:  Oh dear. Not enough during the week, too much during the weekend haha? Work starts early for me, so I usually struggle to get to bed at a “reasonable” hour and then make up for it with an afternoon nap. So, uh -- maybe 6 hours? Cat or dog: DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG. I grew up with dogs; the worst part about moving into my own apartment is that I don’t have a dog. Hoping that when I move into a bigger place I can adopt one. Favourite Fictional Character: Satoru Fujinuma but you probably guessed that already. So fun fact back-ups: Leonardo Watch (Kekkai Sensen), Kyouko Sakura (Madoka Magica), Houtarou Oreki (Hyouka).  Number of blankets you sleep with: Two, usually! I’m one of those perpetually cold people. You can usually find me under blankets, in onesies, or in a really big sweater. Dream trip: Hm... I’ve lucky enough to have been to Japan twice, but I’ve never really been in complete control of my itinerary. So I’d like the chance to go back and explore a lot of small towns and shrines, as opposed to just big cities. Otherwise, I’d really like to explore more of Eastern Europe, specifically the Balkans, backpacking around and travelling by train. Blog created: April 8, 2016 Number of followers: 299! SOON.

People to tag: Hot dang I think raloire already tagged some of the people I was thinking of, but I guess I’ll tag ‘em again? @feathersweetly @lynffles @kitsuneren @dogefish @fran-gipane @g-uren and anyone else who wants to do this!

[noxian-rose]

♛ Ou O

| URL THINGS | (CLOSED ) 4 / 10

my opinion on;

character in general: Aight I’ll be honest, I’ve never read Yasuo’s lore or anything before roleplaying on Tumblr so I only really got to know him after starting threads with you and such xD I know that sounds terrible but I legit never dove into much of Ionia’s lore aside from the Kinkou Order and Sorka + Syndra’s backstories. Gomen~ Aside that, once I finally did  read for Yas I actually liked his backstory and could definitely see why people liked him so much. 

how they play them: G o s h your Yasuo makes me so excited each time I get a reply from you. I’ve only read a few Yasuo blogs but I like your interpretation A LOT.  I’m not saying this because I’m biased and have read your writing previously because hot damn you know how to express his inner battles and how he copes with what he’s done. The way he carries himself and the value of honor to him is very striking to me and in my view, gives life to the character that some Yasuos fail to bring. I also like how you portray his emotions and the way you phrase it makes him seem so alive and I love it. 

the mun: Gosh I love talking to you, whether it be about Civ, League, RP or more serious stuff you’re just a wonderful person to converse with! It’s always a pleasure to hear your words and your presence is just overall delightful

do i;

follow them: H e ck y e ah !rp with them:  Most definitely :> want to rp with them: Already do and look forward to any future interactionsship their character with mine: OKAY I ACTUALLY DO SHIP THEM A LIL’. Honestly at first it was a joke, like … “what if Yasuo and LeBlanc actually started feeling emotions for each other beyond just simple respect?” and BA M Yasuo and LeBlanc are now on a mountain doing things I can’t mention in this ask.

what is my;

overall opinion: 10/10 Yasuo and amazing mun who I can gladly call a friend :3 Beautifully crafted writing and rad ideas. 

@wasure-arashi

[naruto-ninja-imagines-blog]

Hi there! I loved your last Kakashi scenario and I have a request for him too :) Could you write a scenario where the hokage wants to make him and his s/o a special ops team, but Kakashi argues against it because he's too worried about her safety and in the end their feelings for each other come out?

This request was written up by one of our applicants for the admin role, Tsukiko! So far they are still in a small trial period with this being their first public work on this blog. As such, I’d really appreciate some opinions on their work from our followers, feel free to send them on in through the ask box or the PM system.

Best of luck to Tsukiko and I hope everyone enjoys their story~ It’s really cute :D

~Mod Whipski

Hokage-sama, I really don’t think that’s the wisest of decisions.“Kakashi stated bluntly

S/O widened her/his eyes in shock, besides outrightrejecting working together with him/her at the first chance he got, he had contradictedthe Hokage himself.

"You think so?” The Hokage chuckled “I’vegiven it quite a bit of thought, and there is no doubt in my mind that you bothwould make an exceptional special ops team.”

“Have you considered the future missions too dangerousfor S/O?” Kakashi replied calmly, as if he’d given it some thought as well“Or perhaps that I might not focus on the missions themselves, worryingabout and protecting S/O? It’s too troublesome.”

S/O’s heart dropped a little at the end of Kakashi’s littlerant. Troublesome? How could he find her/him troublesome? Why hadn’t he saidanything to her/him? Had her/his feelings been misplaced?

“Troublesome?” The third Hokage questioned echoingS/O’s thoughts “I’m sure she/he could handle herself/himselfKakashi.”

“I would be too worried about her/him not gettingherself/himself killed.”

Having had enough of Kakashi’s hurtful nonsense, S/O spokeout.

“I am an Anbu Black Ops member, just like you. My jutsuis formidable. I’ve told you before that I can protect myself, I wouldn’t be hereif I couldn’t hold my own.”

The third smiled, surprised S/O hadn’t bursted out cussingin anger as she/he usually did around Kakashi.

“It truly offends me that you think I’m not strong enough toeven protect myself.“ S/O mumbled looking out the window to the settingsun

Kakashi stiffened slightly, he hadn’t meant to hurt her/hisfeelings, hell he wanted to be the one to protect them.

"Kakashi,” S/O said taking a deep breath “Ireally do think this is a good idea. We train together all the time. We knowhow to work together, we can make up for each other where the other onelacks.”

“I really don’t think so S/O.” Kakashi saidbecoming agitated.

“Why? What the hell is your problem with me?” S/Oasked

“I can’t lose someone I love again! What am I supposedto do if we get attacked and I can’t get to you in time? Or I can’t help you?What am I supposed to do without the last person left that I love?” Heyelled turning his angry eye at S/O.

“And what?! You don’t think I’m not scared of losingthe last person I love?  At least ifanything happens I’d be there with you! It’s better than receiving a letterwhile I’m away and most likely never getting to mourn over your body.” S/Oscreamed finally letting loose what she/he had been building up inside.

She/He expected to meet with more screaming, and hurtfulnonsense. Instead she/he met with a red cheeked Kakashi.

“S/O…” S/O looked at him expectantly, trying todecipher why Kakashi had suddenly turned a different shade in a matter ofseconds. “Y-you love me?”

“What?!” S/O screamed jumping back

“You both might have blurted it out whilearguing.” Said the third watching the scene unfold a little uncomfortably

S/O turned around, realizing that she/he and Kakashi stillstood in the Hokage’s office. Embarrassment flooded through her as she began toturn a slight shade of pink. She’d argued with the guy she loved in front ofthe Hokage, even worse she’d confessed to Kakashi!

“EEEHHH!?” S/O gasped

“Y-you l-l-love me?” S/O stuttered “Y-y-yous-said it before I d-did.”

Kakashi blushed even harder turning away from her,scratching the back of his neck and facing in the direction of the Hokage.

“Y-yes. I have since we were thirteen years old.”

“Ka-ka-shi..” S/O murmured moving closer to him.Putting her/his arms around his neck S/O moved a little to press her foreheadagainst his, slowly she leaned in, careful to not move too quickly. They partedsuddenly as a throat cleared and once again S/O remembered that they stood inthe Hokage’s office.

“Hokage-sama, gomen but, we’ll have to get back to youtomorrow. Kakashi and I have some serious discussing to do.” S/O saidquickly, avoiding eye contact

“What do you mean get back to me? Wait! I need-”the Hokage cut himself short. “These damn kids.” He chuckled

[tepperz]

about cutting out people

gomen, very personal post. A journal like thing. 

Online people name-mention warning.

yanno that post about it being hard to cut people out? I feel that. It is hard. It also touches me because the last person who I had to disconnect from happened so suddenly and I really loved them? But they went on to say about “how great it is to be an adult so they can cut toxic people out of their life,” on social media -- directed at me. It was said so... confidently, so easily, it seemed. And I thought that, after that, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to be near them at all. 

I still struggle with thinking about that sometimes. How apparently easy it was for them to cut out someone out.

I wonder if Mary still thinks that sometimes. And then I doubt, and then I consider again. 

I do miss the people I’ve cut out. I still think about them.

 I think about my Dad. A weird guy, someone who, whenever he enters my life, makes me sad. Being alone on an elementary school father’s day picnic. Alone so often. 

I think about my ex. Or I used to. I used to a lot. Now I don’t. But sometimes... sometimes I think about the past, if not the person anymore. Closure... closure is good for that.

I think about Flamona, who I had so much fun with, but was so scared of contradicting because of her suicidal tendencies. Until she started writing nasty stuff about me and trying to hurt me on purpose. I miss her sense of humor, I miss the way she would get so interested in the fandoms she liked. I missed making her flustered. But then I think about the ways she would think I was out to get her. How just having a friendship with her required so much maintenance and clarification or else thing would get out of hand so fast. I think about how I had to ultimately tell her not to contact me any more.

I think about Deos. Someone who talked with Flamona. I wasn’t that close to her and I thought she was very odd and someone to be careful around, but I respected her work ethic and how much she tried in everything she did. I disagreed with her once and her pride never recovered. I remember about all the things she wrote about me, about how she said I couldn’t take criticism, how I was intimidating. Things that gave me a strange shiver of the things Flamona said in her paranoia. I thought Deos was jealous back then. I still do. I still can’t say I liked Deos. She was frustrating. When she turned out not to be real, I was relieved. My world became a little more understandable. 

I think about Xavier. How he talked with Flamona. How he had said he was an awful person, and I misread his post. And I agreed with him. By the time I saw my mistake the next day, he had blocked me from everything. I still think that’s weird. And unfortunate. I knew him in real life and he liked me - I didn’t return the feelings. But he felt like a friend backbone to me sometimes. Like, if I was feeling low, I knew I would have Xavier’s back and he could have mine. Bouncing ideas off him was fun. He was off point sometimes, but that was funny, and the way he expressed interest in his passions inspired me. When I realized that so suddenly he was gone from my life, it was like whiplash. 

I think about Mary. I think about how she was close to Deos who talked to Flamona. How much she made me laugh. I just thought Mary was the coolest. She could just.... get people together and people followed her like a natural leader. It didn’t matter if she deserved that leadership or not, she had charisma. At first I didn’t like her but I grew to love her. I tried to help other people understand her charm. I enjoyed drawing art for her. It was so interesting how the little things she said could inspire me to create something from that! Even her tiny comments meant so much for me. It was strange how we grew apart - but it became clear after 3 years of friendship that something hadn’t been right the last half year. When I did tricks like a pony to get her attention, she averted herself to avoid me. When I asked her about it, she finally admitted that she couldn’t stand me any more. I listened to her disjointed examples of why I was a bad person, letting myself be her punching bag. Until I didn’t. And she said she was glad I was gone, as it goes. I thought mary was so interesting. I still do. Though now it hurts a lot more.

I think about jess. How we had fun laughing through the night. How I made myself patient for her, how she described so many things she enjoyed. I think about how selfish I realized she was. I don’t like how she treats people. I think about how lost she is. I think about how I want things to go well for her, even if things didn’t end well for us.

I think about that. And it still hurts. they all hurt. Can anyone cut out people important and enjoy it without it hurting them? I don’t think so. If they can, were they ever really close? I don’t know. I can’t pretend to know other people.

Some of these people... they are probably connected. Toxic ideas and gossip about people spreads. But relationships are just as they are, and I refuse to not hold people accountable for themselves.

In the meantime. If any of my friends are reading this. These are bad examples of things that have happened. But the friends who are in my life. I love you. and I respect you. And all of those good times we have had, I remember them. They give me courage. I still think of so many good things that have happened on here, and I remember you. sometimes i wonder if you remember me.

So.... this blog is really blunt for me. I’m not trying to be petty. I just... lately I’ve been writing out my feelings more so they don’t explode inside me as much. It’s been helping. Maybe one day I’ll make comics out of this.

gomen