#but I’ve had some thoughts too

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[todaysbird]

Today’s Bird is: this pair of Eurasian Griffon Vultures (Gyps fulvus)!

[beannoss]

Something I think about a lot and wonder if maybe gets overlooked in Twilight’s story and as vitally indicative of his character is actually in the very first chapter:

Anya isn’t needed for Strix. Twilight decides to adopt her anyway.

[Spoiler warning: Mostly this post deals with early chapters already in the anime but there is reference to chapter 62, which has not yet been animated and will be in season 3]

Twilight decides it — “I’m going to rework the mission so it doesn’t involve a child because that’s too dangerous” and he’s 100% right! Donovan Desmond is canonically a far right warmonger with fascistic authoritarian aims. His government made liberal use of the SSS — a group to mirror the Stasi — who continue to operate in morally dubious ways (much more likely they’re actively morally reprehensible, though we’ve mostly only had rumours of that so far). From what we can tell, Desmond is at best an absent father and likely actually worse than that: if that's how he treats his own children, imagine how he might treat others. And the timeline seems to indicate that the experimentation performed on Anya was done under Desmond's government — even if Twilight isn't aware of experimentation on children, he is aware of both human and animal experimentation under Desmond's government. Taking all that and also the complexity of Strix's aims, undoubtedly there were other things that could be done, more straightforward if not necessarily easier.

So. Why? Why entertain the change at all? And then, having entertained it, why go back when the reasoning is indisputable?

On the Doylist level, I think Endo wanted to ensure that Anya had some agency within the set up — Endo also does this with Yor. It would be much harder to be on Twilight’s side fully, or to trust him on an ethical level/take him as any sort of moral authority, if he were just straightforwardly using these two people. To have them be active and consenting participants (arguably to actually be affirming the arrangement: Twilight sets it up, but Anya and Yor actually make it happen) even if the audience only knows the depth of their knowledge/motivations/etc currently, shifts the power dynamic in important ways.

But it also the set up tells us important things about Twilight. He is largely impatient, cold, detached in chapter one. His overarching feelings towards Anya are, I think, real annoyance, real confusion, and real impatience. He just doesn’t understand this damn kid and it turns out she’s a person which is frankly unacceptable — he’d needed and anticipated an automaton, ideally of himself in miniature form. (Though I think one could ponder whether Twilight was, in many ways, an automaton himself at this point, but that's maybe for another meta 🙃)

He’s not entirely unmoved of course — we're given to understand he’s affected when Franky tells him how many times Anya’s been adopted and returned, and isn't amused by Franky's joke about names. Franky's comment — "Just don't get attached" — reinforces this. The prospect of “the future” perturbs Twilight when he’s reading the parenting books. His initial reaction to Anya’s kidnap is horror. All these are true too.

Then there’s also this, from earlier in the chapter:

It’s exposition, yeah, and it’s also exposing. "Hopes" and "joys" are very specific words to describe those events. It could simply have been "A marriage? An ordinary life?" but describing them as such — hope for marriage; joy in ordinary life — expose something of what Twilight feels about those two experiences and, on the flipside, they expose what he deems he's lacking. No hopes of intimacy; no joy in (an ordinary) life. There's an argument as well, of course, that he's being ironic but I don't think that actually invalidates the above analysis. Drawing attention to 'hope' and 'joy' at all are revealing, regardless of Twilight's tone in thinking of them. I think it's also interesting this panel, taken in conjunction with a pair of panels in chapter 62, Twilight's backstory. The above is almost a pulled out version of this below panel of Twilight's recollection of his childhood, and of course the returning image of not just a rubbish bin but a rubbish bin on fire when it comes to disposing of his identity:

Back to Strix. Both his final interaction with Karen and the whole everything of the framing of Strix is making Twilight think (and feel, ahem) things that he hasn't for some time. Twilight decides, I’m reworking this. It can’t proceed this way. Not because Anya is a pain in his ass, not because she’s not as (apparently) intellectually advanced as he’d originally thought, not even because he thinks he can find another child who would better be exactly what mission parameters called for. No:

And what changes his mind is Anya asking to come home.

One of the important parts of this to me is this:

He seeks consent.

This moment is a keystone, I think, to understanding Twilight. It’s also more telling than he maybe realises. Twilight is decisive — we all laugh because he spirals at the drop of a hat when his daughter or wife look even mildly upset but outside those (also very telling) scenarios, he makes decisions and he pursues them. Often he makes decisions quickly. He’s a dab hand at it; it’s a large part of why he’s as good a spy as he is.

He’d decided to change Strix.

Anya asks him, in essence, not to.

So, he doesn't.

But it's wild that he entertains keeping her request at all — why? Why even entertain it? It’s dangerous; it’s impractical; there are too many moving parts outside his direct control; Anya isn’t the sort of child he’d wanted for the mission if he’d spent any time thinking about what a child might actually be like; Strix is in many ways an extremely long shot anyway, Desmond could just stop attending for reasons unknown and unrelated; etc.

So, yeah, why? Maybe because of this —

In conjunction, I often think of this moment in the cruise arc:

Twilight first naming the feeling as lonesome, and secondly tacitly conceding that he perceives Yor as a companion and that that relationship is important to him, something to be missed. What makes this for me though is that Anya calls this out "Papa's you're so sappy" and Twilight's reaction is that of someone caught-out. He doesn’t say “nuh-uh!” but he may as well have. Essentially, something landed a bit close to home, hm? Maybe some of that hope for marriage? A soupçon of joy of an ordinary life?

Twilight’s loneliness underpins many of his decisions with his family — probably without him being fully conscious of it. I think he is at least somewhat conscious of it, but also if he looks too closely... Well, best not to. I could fill this post, I think, with images that demonstrate his loneliness throughout the series; that sorrowful/pensive close-up of his eye(s) is one of the abiding motifs for Twilight throughout. I'd probably start with this one from Twilight's backstory arc:

Anya's request plays directly off his loneliness. Still though, he doesn’t immediately capitulate — he emphasises Anya’s choice. Is she sure? The last day has been scary for a child (and for him, but he's ignoring that part) and Twilight, in his increasing recognition that Anya is a person, is probably aware in the back of his mind that he hasn’t exactly been warm or welcoming or at all patient with her. Things that people respond to — he's otherwise excellent at manipulating people, so of course he understands this. So. Given she'd just had this scary experience, given he hasn't exactly been great with her: Is she sure? She wants to come home — with him?

I think the moment may get a little lost because Anya says something riffing off his own earlier thoughts and self-revelation (featuring that shadowed, lonely eye motif again!)

Were this a post about Anya, I’d talk about how it’s an important character moment for her as well by way both of demonstrating her agency/choice and also that she isn’t nearly as dumb as Twilight thinks (and the audience, maybe, also thinks).

But in my view, she didn’t actually need to say anything about it making her cry. I think she could simply have said yes in that moment and Twilight would have agreed.

Twilight’s an unreliable narrator; he’s disconnected from his heart and that shrouds his own motivations from himself — something he actually also concedes in this chapter!

And it shrouds from us just how much he actually understands himself. He’s also a master of deflection. Easy to assume or say that bringing Anya home is just to align with Strix. Nothing more to see here; nothing else going on. But also that ripping off of the mask in the panel above — and the literal 'riiip' sound effects — also indicate to us that this is an unveiling to himself.

In my view, Twilight agreeing to Anya's request, deciding to go back to original mission parameters, actually shifts his motivations, subtly. Now he’s committed not only to the original mission goals, but also to Anya. He needs Anya to succeed at Strix, not only for Strix's sake, but also because otherwise the mission will end and she’ll have to go back to the orphanage, and he’s just agreed with her not to do that (not right away, in any case). I don’t think at this point he’s thinking it’s forever — his thoughts throughout the manga indicate he still expects the Forgers to be temporary. I don't think the shift in motivation is necessarily even conscious, but given the set up, I think something inside Twilight recognises that agreeing to bring Anya home is a compact, jointly engaged. Mostly all this has become subsumed into Strix: he makes decisions. He pursues them. He deflects, even from himself. Of course it's just for the mission; this saved him the trouble of reworking it, of figuring out something else. Nothing more to see; no need to think any more on it. And to be fair to him, Strix is very high stakes, resting pretty solely on his shoulders, so of course that is, objectively, motivation enough. Why even consider beyond that?

But I personally think that to the extent he's aware of it at all, there is something else going on, that he wants to have Anya for as long as it takes him to work something else out for her. If that's the case, then of course, we have Occam’s razor: the simplest solution may be the best one.

Maybe Twilight should just keep Anya himself, eh?

[Image description: gif from Spy x Family season 1, episode 1. Twilight and Anya have just found out Anya passed her entrance exam and are overjoyed. Celebratory, Twilight picks Anya up and swoops her into the air as they smile at one another. End image description]

[ricky-mortis]

We’ve heard of werewolf Curt- but what about vampire Owen?

[prideprejudce]

the more i think about Oppenheimer the more disappointed i get because at its core it’s such an interesting story to tell. like the whole manhattan project catapulted the entire world into a new atomic era that we could never go back from whether we were ready for it or not. and the fallout from the project not only changed and devastated the lives of hundreds of thousands of people (including of course the victims in hiroshima and nagasaki + the people living in new mexico where they tested the bomb) and the continued generational trauma of the bombs. also just the general mass panic and fear that the Cold War instilled into every citizen in the states who were literally waiting to one day be just annihilated by a nuclear attack. the whole creation of the atomic bomb had so much impact on the world. so doing a deep character study of both oppenheimer and his colleagues on the moral ambiguity of their work in the project and the outcome of it is such a great movie concept. but the film didn’t feel like that at all. instead Nolan gave us the watered down story that he’s best at and spent almost three hours forcing us to watch whether oppenheimer had to lose his disneyland government fast-pass due to his communist ties or not (spoiler: he does) and how strauss doesn’t like him because he got his feewlings hurt once. all the other scientists and physicists were given one or two minutes of screen time and were really just names to a face. the actual bombs creation was given a sidelong glance and trivial explanation at best. and of course to tie it all off the main female side characters were either naked/having sex for 80% of their screen time or was given the character depth of a piece of tissue paper

[crismakesstuff]

cleaned up this old doodle so I can officially hop on the mlp invincible au

alicorn nolan and earth pony debbie are very special to me

[mars-ipan]

happy birthday you weird little freak. it's finals season so i can't afford to make a full drawing for u rn but i can at least give you your favorite thing in the world

bonus drawing + og imgs under the cut

cannot believe that crucified!komaeda is the cuntiest i've ever drawn him. call it divine inspiration

[doodlebug-aboo]

“i have to be strong”

[paintedpeeta]

I know everyone loves talking about Katniss and Peeta being affectionate in everyday life and mirroring her parents, but I also go crazy about them being affectionate and Peeta realizing he has a safe home filled with love unlike his parents. I just imagine him remembering his parents just tensely being with each other and contrasting that with him and Katniss who are always touching in some way and greet each other with kisses and hugs.

no because throughout the first two books he’s so physically affectionate to her (even though i’d assume this isn’t learned behaviour from his home) can you IMAGINE what it’s like when they’re safe and living together and in an established relationship? when he realises that she enjoys and takes comfort from his affections??

[postalignments]

Fun fact: A friend and I once made and submitted a two minute “[Characters] as Vines” video for a project. We got a 100.

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

There are a couple of lines in Psychonauts 2 that I think about quite a bit. I’m pretty sure these have already been done but if NOT, then. Uh. Spoilers for Psychonauts 2 I guess?

First off- one of Sam’s lines. There’s actually a lot about Sam that I think could have been put to better use—specifically a conversation about how psychic powers aren’t always controllable, giving parallels between Compton, Dogan, and Maligula and MAYBE Raz. But the line I SPECIFICALLY think about is a joke one.

“And if you use enough syrup, you can’t taste the difference between chicken and snake. Eggs is eggs!”

In Psychonauts, eggs are used as a metaphor for brains. Like, this isn’t some vague thing, it’s extremely front and center. Eggs and brains are directly linked. And, it should be noted, that Sam actually puts an entire nest—INCLUDING BIRD EGGS—in the, uh…. ‘Pancake mix’.

So, snakes and chickens and syrup, right? Chickens, generally used to describe someone who is cowardly or otherwise not the type to actually do anything, syrup being sweet enough to distract from other tastes, and snakes being, well, people who are not trustworthy.

And then there’s Nick Johnsmith, aka Gristol Malik, who is a well liked non psychic that Truman calls a lick spittle—someone who fawns over others easily. In other words, a snake (egg, brain) that acts sweet (and syrupy) enough to seem like a chicken (egg, brain).

Do you see. Do you SEE THE VISION HERE.

Anyways onto phrase 2. Said by Gristol Malik.

“He took a poor, sad, country girl and turned her into a mighty warrior. And I’m going to do it again.”

Now, usual context will say he means he’ll bring Maligula out of Lucy/Nona. I don’t think that’s incorrect, per se.

But one of the things that really, REALLY snapped Lucy/Maligula was the death of Marona, her sister.

And who do we have camping nearby? Why, it’s an entire family. In fact, it’s Raz’s entire family. And at LEAST half of them are psychics.

Gristol already views Raz as a puppet. He only kind of likes him because he’s half Grulovian. And, you know, during the Rhombus of Ruin, Loboto was no longer under Oleander’s employee, so… who wanted Raz’s brain removed? Someone who, oh I don’t know, might have heard about Raz being a powerful psychic that MIGHT have noticed Raz’s rather unique name… or, more specifically, the last name of a circus that performed for the Gzar and his family, famous for water acts. One that, by chance, someone could have known that a Galochio, a family of psychics, recently married into?

And you know, Maligula is older, it’s good to have back-ups, right? I mean, this is the same guy that ACTUALLY pulled one over on an entire spy group of mind readers.

But, hey, maybe it wasn’t a plan to turn Raz into Maligula by killing one or some or all of his family! Raz is kind of pissed right now, and might not snap the way Gristol would want him to. I’m pretty sure murdering, say, Mirtala, his baby sister, might not work in Gristol’s favor when Raz is already against him.

That said… he’s not the only psychic in the Aquato family. And in fact some of those family members aren’t the most on board with the whole… Psychics and Psychonauts business.

Specifically, we have a barely used plot thread including Frazie Aquato and her acceptance of her psychic powers!

I’m sure that, oh say, her little brother dying in the middle of him helping the Psychonauts pick up their messes, when he should have been able to be saved by one of his heroes since he was literally at their headquarters and surrounded by psychic adults, will only have good things happen to the Psychonauts. I’m SO sure that Frazie won’t get extremely pissed at these people her brother looked up to so much. She’ll definitely be understanding and absolutely won’t use what seems to be a family trait of extremely powerful psychic power along with the hydrokinesis in her bloodline. Specifically because she, an acrobat since birth and taught to ignore a lot of the usual fears most people have about safety and the instinct to flee, definitely has a great relationship with her fight or flight mode.

:))))

Anyways I have a lot of thoughts about Psychonauts 2 (I’m not saying I’d do a fix it of some things that bother me, but I do tend to do canon rewrites to smooth out wrinkles as a fun writing exercise/my version of hyperfixation on media and with the time gap between the games there is PLENTY of those in the plot, so uhhhhhhhh) but no one to bother them to, so uhhhhh yeah thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[cheekblush]

took myself on a little shopping trip yesterday in the city where i used to study in hopes of lifting my spirits but by the end of the day i felt so disheartened. wandering the same streets 10 years later and not much has changed. i’m still the same lonely unlovable girl.

[bleue-flora]

It's very interesting... how despite efforts to remain an objective overseer of the whole story, it seems the point of view of the streamer always seems to taint the facts. It's like the foundational lore streams are muddied in the innate bias of the streamer's character and no matter how much comparison to the wider picture or other characters, their perception still colors the truth.

For example, why is it that we believe Dream in the second to last finale stream? We know he's a liar. We know the things he's lied about and why. We know he put's on a show before, specifically for Tommy and Tubbo. And yet, we believe him? We believe them. They reveal that the disc finale was all staged, in a sinisterly over the top room. And we believe every word they say. They make fun of clingy duo like a couple of movie bad guys, malicious cackle and all. And yet, still we believe them. In the very next stream, we see Dream's motivation change, like we knew it would, and yet we still believe what they said before, even when we now know part of it wasn't real. That's not to say everything they say is a lie, we know for sure some of it is true. Still, every convincing lie is born of some form of truth and we know Dream uses this method of lying. We have every reason to doubt anything they say to anyone but eachother because we know they play their parts just like their enemies designate them. And yet, we still believe them. Why?

Maybe because clingy duo does.

And because they believe it's fact, it becomes fact to the viewer.

Not to say it isn't, or that there isn't truth in it, or that anyone is wrong for taking what they said and making assumptions, or that their assumptions are wrong... But I had someone tell me recently about how some of the Enderboo community dismissed the brainwash comment as a lie because it didn't align with Ranboo lore and ever since then, I realized you know it would be reasonable to say they lied, which begs the question, what else did they lie or exaggerate or give partial truth about?...

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

[hoboblaidd]

Help pls look at Solas and his tiny adoptive daughters @avrorean @orxna

[thesillyexpresser]

Redrew that one Fire Punch panel with Murderbot because I just got the Fujimoto vibes

OG panel (+bonus doodle because why not) below

Bonus doodle ^