#but I’ve been too lazy to fix it hahaha

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Imagine being Ruggie sister who somehow got in to night raven as a student and everything progress on and them as a Ramshackle perfect due to them being a kind person like Tanjiro and strong yet but of a nerd liked Deku with a unique magic of growing plants

What's more she a home maker due to them living in the slums ( like meding clothes, cooking, fixing things as she can, using home remedies when sick and help their bother with the kids at home ) with Ruggie and too working hard to get out of there as they wanted to be a doctor

Let's say due to their genuine kindness Leona, Malleus, Idia, Jamal, Carter and Riddle have a unhealthy obsession crush with Ruggie sister who doesn't share the same romantic feeling and only sees them as a friend

Ruggie's Little Sister Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Perfectly built for Ramshackle, you happily take to it despite your brother’s insistence you stay next to him in Savvannaclaw. But you’ve never been one to listen to your big brother and you can definitely handle it. You probably fare better than the original in terms of dealing with Night Raven. Because you know how to sweet up boys with mean attitudes, maybe a little too well:

Leona Kingscholar

“Look herbivore, don’t try to boss me-”

“Who’re you calling herbivore!? I’m talking to you, about this lazy cat behavior!”

“Lazy cat-”

“(Y/n) please–”

“No Ruggie, you baby him far too much! I’m stepping in!”

He at first really hates you

Like really 

You do all the things Ruggie does just not for him

In fact you make him do things that make him tired

It’s a pain 

But for whatever reason he’s getting especially happy when you praise him

Only for you 

He’s violent with anyone who comments on the work you have him doing

Its the only reason he keeps in your good graces and thats enough for him

“I’m proud of you, Leona! Now come I’ve cooked up some fillet mignon and it has your name on it!”

“It better. I’m never doing my own laundry again.”

“Hahaha yes you will.”

Ruggie is nervous about this but appreciates you picking up the slack

It sometimes bothers him how much time his employer starts spending with you

But he’s not too worried Leona understands his desire to protect you

“Huh?! You got him to do that?! What should I expect, you are my little sister.”

“Don’t act like I’m not the cooler one of us two.”

Malleus Draconia 

“Ah horn-dude, I was just looking for you.”

“Horn-dude? And you were looking for me?”

“Yeah I was thinking of adding some gardenias, and maybe some vines for decoration. I wanted your opinion since you like coming by here so often.”

“The vines would pertain to a more beautifully abandoned image…but that might just be my preference.”

“Oh thanks so much, Horns!”

His crush is so obvious 

Talking about you often to his guards and mentor

And whenever anyone goes to talk to him he finds some odd way to incorporate you into the conversation 

Trust me its weird for everyone when he starts talking about you during potions when their dissecting magical creatures

he can’t stop trying to talk to you

But he usually ends up just staring at you from the distance

Waiting until your instincts pick up on his presence

And your forced to invite him to join whatever your doing

“Ah! Horns didn’t see you over there! Do you want in? We’re making paper flowers for the festival want to join?”

“I would love to!” 

“What?! Horns?! (Y/n) why are you lettinghimjoin giving him more paper!? I know what I’m doing!” 

“Sure you do.”

Ruggie’s scared out of his mind 

How did you get mixed up with this overpowered monster

He can’t do too much now without knowing he’s going to die

But if it means saving you from certain doom aka Malleus Draconia it might be worth it

Idia Shroud

“Alright that’s enough!”

“W-what?!”  

“No more games before you finish cleaning your room! Ortho and I can help but–”

“Actually (Y/n)-san, I recently pulled up a study that states letting children clean their own rules helps instill better habits when their adults!”

“Ortho!?”

“Oh great idea! Well we’ll be just outside! Come on Ortho let’s plan out our cosplay!”

“Yes!”

“G-guys?!”

He hates that you mother him

But he absolutely loves it when you mother him

He cries about being in the dreaded friendzone kidzone

But boy does he love the way you pat his head or let him cuddle into your chest

He loves the food you make during marathons

Or how you’ll let yourself be distracted by the games you really like

He gets drastic if you spend too long out of his reach

So he sets up cameras+ 

So he takes any opportunity to speak with you

So he puts others in horrifying accidents

“Heeheh by the time I’m done you’ll be the best girl-gamer in the space. And then it’ll be a given for you to never leave the ultimate guy-gamer!” 

“Ewww keep my sister out of your nerd schemes!” 

“Eeep! An enemy has appeared!”

Ruggie thinks he’s a nerd with no game

But nonetheless he knows Idia’s smart but not street smart

“Hishishsishi can’t set the trap if you don’t have the button! Hardly even noticed me swiping his gadget.” 

Jamil Viper 

“I appreciate the help, (Y/n).”

“Of course, you’re always running yourself ragged…I wanted to do something for you.”

“...I really appreciate the lunches you’ve made for me…it’s been a while since I’ve eaten a meal by someone else.” “Well just give me a call I don’t mind cooking for you or lending a hand.”

He’s smitten nbyond comprehension

Now going out of his way to hypnotize anyone else into a corner when it comes to talking to you

Its the least he does out of retaliation

He knows all his flirting and hints go right over your head

But your still cute 

Until you do get it he’s pulling the rug out from any and all competitors

“Hey (Y/n), why don’t you join me in the kitchen? Maybe, show me how you made those potato crisps?”

“Sure, Jamil I’d love to!”

“Ah ah! Not without me you’re not!”

Ruggie knows Jamil’s like him but smarter

Sly and sneaky

Powers aside Ruggie’s sure Jamil’s problematic for your safety

“Don’t think for a second, I’ll let you have them! I'm not that fond of snakes!”

Carter Diamond 

“Wah~(Y/n) you’re so photogenic! Will you pose for me one more time?”

“Well alright. If it’ll make you happy.”

“It’ll make me more than happy!” He loves how oblivious you are 

He absolutely hates it+

But your just so cute 

He guesses he can forgive it 

And hey while your learning the ropes he’s more than happy to keep you close

“Hey hey don’t forget to keep up our streak!”

“Streak?”

“Yeah we’ve been sharing our photos throughout the day of what we’re doing.”

“Yup! It’s a great way to keep track of her!”

“Ick-!”

Ruggie knows he’s slippery

When it comes to tailing him Cater’s good at giving the slip

“Not on my watch. I’m not giving you the chance, to trick my baby sister.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“That’s entirely unreasonable, I’m not doing that!”

“Grrr (Y/n) these are the rules I thought you would respect that.”

“And I thought you would know to relax!”

He thinks your sweet but totally unreasonable

So he guesses you both have something to learn from each other

You more than him obviously

While he doesn’t think highly of your brother he knows your different

And you belong to him

He’s not going to take ‘no’ for an answer

If this is a battle of wills he’d win it

Even if that means subjecting your bad influences to being beheaded

“Riddle! You can't just put that collar on my brother like that!”

“Yeah I’m not even apart of your dorm!”

“Don’t be mad at me for enforcing rules. I know you know the very least of the rules. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that your brother just doesn’t measure up. Which means you should leave him before he drags you down.”

Ruggie is peeved that such a prick is after his sister

But he’s not worried 

He’s definitely not cool enough to keep your attention

Not to mention he’s so easy to anger 

It’ll be fun to rile him up

“Hishishishi so mad oh so fast! You’ll barely survive dating them if your this easy.”

[misssmeat]

Ok - I have totally missed the look of your header on your profile!! It's gorgeous!

omfg THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

At the risk of sounding self absorbed, I’m obsessed with it lol. Thanks for noticing 🥺🥺🥺

[princessphilly]

Word count: 5627

Tag list:  @ohpuckyeah, @joelsfarabee, @besthockeyfics. @dreamer1430 @Defiant-Mouse @miracleonice87 @lovethepreds @linkingdolans @chicagostylehockey @heatherlcrosby87 @hockeywocs @shortstacks-blog @heatherawoowoo @newlibrary @markymarkstrom @iangiemae @puckbitchesgetmoney @missymore @himbos-on-ice @fiveholegoal @no-pucks-given @pagirl6866 @willieshakesqueer @nazdaddy @whatishockey @alphalib22 @romanseggy @laurenairay @texanstarslove @konecny-s @cutiesara23 @myhockeyworld87 @extratragic @squidlywiddly87 @stuff4me2do​ @allinangel93 @mydarkestsecretlol​

CW: angst, meeting the family, references to the n-word, people sucking

I decided to go ahead and finish it when I got a sudden burst of creativity when I came home.

*

Nina snuggled in bed, a happy little sigh leaving her lips. Sidney looked at her, a fond smile on his face. It had been a month since they were back together and life was almost perfect. Well, they were 6-3-2, 14 points earned which was okay but not where Sidney wanted the team to be. It was still early in the season, it was mid-November so there was plenty of time to right the ship. He and the boys would fix it. Sidney sighed before attempting to try to go back to sleep. However, he heard the sound of a door opening and he sat up, pushing the covers down inadvertently. 

Sidney racked his brain. It was Sunday, Marta, his housekeeper’s day off. Mario or Nathalie would have called before coming over. He had no idea who the hell it could be. “Fuck,” Sidney breathed. There were only two people who would do a surprise visit and one of them was a week earlier for the Moms trip. 

Lightly brushing his fingers over Nina’s side, Sidney urged, “Pretty girl, wake up.”

It was roughly 8am so it wasn’t hard to get Nina, an early riser by nature to wake up. “Urgh, mawning,” Nina mumbled as she cracked open her eyes. Sidney looked anxious and agitated which made Nina focus. 

Sidney opened his mouth, then closed it. If he was right, he was fucked and his pretty girl was probably going to run away screaming. He finally said, “Um, someone just opened the door and there are exactly five people other than me who have a key. There are two who’d do a surprise visit.”

Looking down, Nina was thankful that she had on one of Sidney’s shirts and shorts while sleeping. “Well, fuck, at least I’m not naked,” she said pointedly. Sidney had the grace to blush as Nina continued, “If it’s what you think it is, you need to get that under control,” pointing at his rather obvious morning wood. Sidney pulled the covers back over himself and Nina

Then a voice called out, “Morming, Sid!”

Sidney sighed in relief. It was Taylor, not his mom. Nina noticed it and arched an eyebrow. “Eh, it’s my sister, pretty girl.”

“Shit,” Nina fretted. This was going to be awkward, she didn’t even know if she wanted to meet his family but now, she was going to,have to. At least it was a sister.

The door creaked open and a blonde-haired head peeked in. “Boo,” Taylor said. Then her eyes perked when she saw who Sidney was with. 

Nina groaned. Her hair was in a scarf, it was obvious she slept over and fuck, fuck, fuck. A devious smile spread on Taylor’s face. “Nice to see that you finally let a girlfriend sleep in your room, Sidney.”

“Shut the fuck up, Taylor,” Sidney yelled as his little sister giggled before closing the door.

Nina facepalmed. “That was fun. Fun fun fun.”

Rolling onto her front, Nina mumbled, “I’m not ready to meet your family.”

“I’ve already met yours,” Sidney reasoned. 

“That was because Yanni was part of your Lil Penguins program. That was work related for you, doesn’t count.”

Trailing his fingers down Nina’s back, Sidney replied, “True but, it still counts. What are you doing next weekend?”

“I’m going to be in Philly for a wedding.”

Nina turned onto her left side, facing Sidney. Sidney sucked his bottom lip into his mouth before letting it go. “Don’t get any ideas.”

She slipped off the bed, pulling the scarf off her braids, letting them fall down her back. Rummaging through her clothes on the floor, Nina pulled out her bra. Pulling her shirt off, she put it on to the sound of Sidney’s groans. Nina rolled her eyes. “I’m stuck having to meet your sister because she decided to give you a surprise visit. I’m not meeting her without wearing a bra.”

“But you look so amazing without one,” Sidney replied. 

 Nina shook her head before leaving his bedroom. Making her way to the kitchen, Nina literally bumped into Taylor. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Nina gasped. 

“I’m okay,” Taylor reassured Nina, taking the moment to check out this girl that Sidney was now seeing. She wasn’t exactly what Taylor was expecting but one thing that Taylor liked about Nina was that she had kind eyes. Taylor had heard about her over the years, especially that Nina had kept rejecting Sidney. Her brother rarely heard the word no so that made Nina intriguing to her. 

Taylor offered, “Have you had breakfast yet?”

“No, and I’m hungry.”

Opening the fridge, Taylor took out the ingredients to make omelets. Nina sat at the island, a pensive look on her face. “You know, I totally didn’t expect to meet you this way. This is awkward as fuck.”

“Eh, don’t feel bad, I should have given Sid a heads up,” Taylor replied. “Plus, I’ve heard about you over the years.”

“Oh really?”

Taylor laughed as she cracked eggs. “Sidney couldn’t shut up about you. First it was he met this nice girl at work. Then, it was that you kept telling him no and he was confused. Later, he was beating himself up because he managed to fuck up before he could even ask you out. I really enjoyed that, I liked that you kept not only telling him no but when he pissed you off, you didn’t forgive him right away. I love my brother but his ego needs to get cut down sometimes.”

“True, he has a huge ego. He needs to take himself less seriously,” Nina concurred. “But it’s probably impossible to get him to do that.”

Taylor shrugged, pursing her lips. “At least he means well,” Nina added. 

Nodding, Taylor replied, “He does mean well, most of the time.”

“Already ganging up on me?”

They both laughed as Sidney entered the kitchen. “Why are you here, Taylor?”

“I went on a camping trip and I decided to be nosy and visit my big brother before heading home,” Taylor chirped. “The look on your face was worth it.”

“Hahaha. Should’ve called,” Sidney grumbled. 

Taylor quipped, “Oh, did I ruin your morning sex plans? I’m so sorry.”

Nina snorted as she laughed. Sidney gave her hurt eyes and Nina blew him a kiss. 

“Don’t worry Sid, I’m not staying long. Just enough to rest and then get back on the road,” Taylor said. 

“You drove,” Nina asked. Sidney was now standing right behind her and she could feel his hands massaging her shoulders. 

Taylor nodded as she flipped the first omelet. “You’re not what I expected, Nina. You’re way too pretty for a hockey player like my brother.”

Sidney wanted to kill his little sister as she continued to chirp him. Well, not only chirp him but ruin his planned lazy morning sex. But as he watched his sister and Nina interact playfully, Sidney could admit there was a slight good point. Taylor and Nina were hitting it off and Sidney knew that Nina would meet his family soon. This was a good sign. 

**

However, after practice four days later, Sidney was wishing his sister had never stopped by. Nina had been incredibly busy all week and Sidney knew he wouldn’t see her until next week due to her trip out of town. He was feeling extra irritable and hearing his name over the tv didn’t help. 

“So, two weeks ago, Sidney Crosby admitted that he was having relationship issues that were affecting him on the ice.”

Tanger went to change the channel on the tv in the lounge, muttering, “Fucking ESPN.”

“Shh, keep it on,” Sidney urged, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to see what kind of bullshit ESPN was saying now.

A couple of the guys stopped to check out the TV. Kevin Neghandi laughed as he responded, “Yeah, he admitted that after breaking a slump. Ever since, he’s been on a 2 point-per-game streak. But this really isn’t about him.”

“Huh,” said Geno, scratching his head.

Buccigross continued, “There was a picture of Crosby and his girlfriend posted on the internet, a nice picture. Someone posted it and made a derogatory statement about his girlfriend, Nina Jackson. This player is a player for Clemson.”

Neghandi laughed again. “Ms. Jackson has a younger brother named Jason Jackson. He was also the number 20 prospect, number 1, 5 star tight end. He also now plays for UNC.”

Sidney chuckled as he realized exactly where this was going. The guy on the tv continued, “Clemson and UNC had the rare Thursday night game last night. #1 Clemson went to the Tar Heels, ranked #22 and got spanked, 56-30. Jason Jackson had 10 catches, 200 yards receiving, and 3 TDs. His response in the postgame.”

The tv showed a clip of Jason talking to the media. A reporter asked, “What inspired you to have such a big game tonight.”

“Lowell decided he needed to talk about my sister on the gram so I had to put him in his place,” Jason drawled.

Sidney’s phone buzzed and it was a message from Nina. my brother is so dramatic 🙄

Nice to know he’ll always have your back, Sidney sent Nina. 

**

Nina smiled happily as she looked at the Thai food on plate. She was so hungry and excited to see Jamila face to face in person for lunch. Her friend looked more vibrant than usual, as life was treating her good. They made small talk until Jamila said, “I heard something about you, that you aren’t single for the first time in forever.”

“Oh really?”

Jamila looked at her best friend. “You’re dating Mayo boy.”

“What?!?” Perplexed, Nina stared at Jamila while Jamila rolled her eyes. 

“Sidney Crosby is like Mayo. Super white. Damn, my dating habits really did rub off on you. Welcome to being a basic bitch like me.”

It was Nina’s turn to roll her eyes. “Stop being so fucking dramatic, Jamila Brown.”

“I was an actress, I’m supposed to be dramatic. Tell Mayo boy if he ever breaks your heart, I’ll kill and cremate whatever’s left of him after your father and brother are finished with him.”

“Are you really gonna nickname him that?”

Jamila smirked at Nina and Nina sighed. Shrugging elegantly, Jamila replied, “I’m a part of Philly sports Twitter. I got lots of other names I could call him.

“Be a bigger bitch, Mila.”

“He gets a better nickname when he lets you fully run his pockets. And don’t give me that look, don’t be afraid of being called a gold digger. They are probably calling you worse names. Make Mayo boy run that card up when he takes you on baecation. Once that happens, I’ll upgrade his nickname.”

Nina sighed as she looked at the menu. Jamila reached out and put her hand out, covering Nina’s menu. “You know I’m just playing, right?”

“I don’t want to talk about it now, let’s talk about Toyin’s wedding instead,” Nina murmured. 

It was Jamila’s turn to sigh. “I’m sorry, Nina. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I shouldn’t be taking out my bad mood on you. I hate men.”

“Not forgiven yet,” Nina snarked. 

Jamila looked pensive as she said, “I like this guy but I don’t want to admit I like him. He’s like too perfect, too nice, well not that nice. He actually gives a fuck.”

“Let me guess, you’re scared and about to do something super stupid,” Nina dryly replied.

Jamila gave Nina a shocked look before she slumped in her chair. “I don’t want to,” she pouted. 

Nina reasoned, “Then don’t. Just ride it out for once.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jamila replied. 

Nina shrugged as her phone buzzed. It was a message from Sid, well really just a picture of him sweaty post-practice. Nina left him on read, she would get him back later for that. “Stop being stupid, and stop self-sabotaging.”

Jamila rolled her eyes as she ate her food. After swallowing, she arched an eyebrow. “Mayo boy sent you a message?”

“Yeah, but I’m focusing on you. I’ll see him next week… and his parents.”

“This is going fast,” Jamila commented. 

Nina bit her lip before saying, “I guess he had to wait eighty-four years, I mean five years, so he’s going to take advantage while they are in town.”

“Interesting.”

Nina pointed out, “At least I’m giving my relationships a chance, unlike you.”

“Fuck you.” 

Jamila gave Nina an exaggerated nasty look as Nina quipped, “I’m strictly dickly, bitch.”

The conversation switched to safer topics. However, throughout the wedding weekend, Nina had the thought in the back of her mind that maybe things were going a bit too fast. 

**

“Well, Taylor says she likes her. I checked out her instagram account and she doesn’t even mention you. Lots of nice vacation pictures though.”

Sidney looked at his mom from across the table. Trina had a pensive look on her face. Troy raised his eyebrows before leaning back in his chair. 

Sidney reasoned, “I want you two to meet her. Give her a chance. Nina is amazing, I’m lucky that she even likes me.”

“Why wouldn’t she like you, you’re Sidney Crosby,” Trina scoffed. 

Sidney shrugged. “Nina’s a PhD student and everything. It hasn’t been easy for her either.”

“Interesting,” Trina said. 

Nina herself was feeling extra nervous. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to meet Sidney’s parents, especially after having to turn in a huge paper and part of her thesis to her advisor. But, as she shook her head and smoothed down her shirt, they were in town and she was going to try to make her best impression.

Midway through dinner, Nina began to wish she was somewhere else on this Friday night. While Troy, Sidney’s dad, seemed nice, it felt like Trina was judging every single thing she did. Every reply Trina made to Nina’s questions was in a dry voice, as if it was boring her. Nina felt a bit discouraged. Sidney obviously loved his parents but it felt like his mother didn’t like her. 

On the other hand, Trina felt like Nina was looking down on them. It seemed like she was mentioning her PhD program, her thesis, like she was too smart for them and her boy. Trina sipped her water as there was a pause. She didn’t know about this girl but at least, every time she looked at Sidney, Trina could see the stars and hearts in her eyes.

Nina looked at Sidney, her palms sweating. She didn’t know what to say as she looked down at her plate. Her appetite was gone. Sidney, himself, didn’t really notice anything as he answered his father’s questions about the beginning of the season. Then Troy turned to Nina. 

“So what do you plan to do now that you’re with Sidney,” Troy casually asked.

Nina replied, “I have about two more years left before I finish earning my PhD. I plan to continue to work and I may teach a class or two.”

“You still plan to work,” Trina asked.

Nina nodded. “Yes. I love what I do and I’m not wasting my degrees.”

“Why do you want to work?”

Nina could tell that Trina intended that question to be light but Nina could still feel the claws. She was tired of this passive-aggressive bullshit and ready to curse her out. But Nina couldn’t so she measured her words carefully. “I did four years of undergrad, three years of school for my doctors in physical therapy, and I will do four more years for my doctorate. Why would I stop working after earning my degrees?”

Trina paused; she had expected some trite, suck-up answer. But it seemed like Nina was serious. “I would think that if you were with my son, you’d rather not work.”

“I’m not built to be a housewife.” Nina laughed. “I love what I do and if I’m expected to stop for Sidney, then maybe I need to reevaluate some things.”

Trina felt like she lost control of this conversation. All she wanted was to see what kind of user her boy’s dream girl was. Now, she had the feeling that her son was going to get dumped and it was going to be her fault.

Sidney laughed. “I don’t expect you to be a housewife. You would be so bored if you were.”

Nina flashed Sidney a quick grin before adding, “Nathalie has let me know the responsibilities though. I’ve done lots of volunteer and charity work over the years so that isn’t new at all. I’m excited about the toy drive, I remember when my parents just got out of the army and cash was tight. I got my favorite doll as a kid from a toy drive.”

“That’s nice,” Trina said. Maybe this Nina girl wasn’t completely stuck up, she thought as the night continued. After a couple of hours, Nina said her goodbyes. It was getting late and she was spending the morning taking her little sister to volleyball practice. After she left, Trina let out a sigh as Sidney turned to her.

“You have to lay off on Nina, Mom.”

Trina turned to look at her son. Sidney was giving her his most serious look and she sighed. 

“I like her but I don’t know if she’s the one for you, Sid. It seems like she’s one step from leaving you,” Trina said. “I don’t see her sticking with you if things go bad.”

“Just because she plans to work?” 

Sidney gave his mother an assessing look. He knew she meant well but this wasn’t for her to decide. “This isn’t your problem.”

“Fine, I like that she has her own life. She’s not obsessed with you and she plans to be her own person,” Trina conceded. “But she’s different.”

He knew this was going to be hard, asking his mom to back off but Sidney knew he had to do it. Nina hadn’t said anything last night but Sidney could sense that she was tired of how his mother was acting. Sidney also knew that if Nina decided to cut ties, it would be completely over. Sidney started, “Compared to Nina, I’m a dumb hockey player. But what I have with her, I’ve never found with anyone else. If you have a problem with that, that’s you. But be civil to Nina.”

“Really, Sidney Patrick Crosby,” Trina said, incredulous. But the look on her son’s face was something she had never seen before. Even though she didn’t believe her son would really pick any woman over her, a voice at the back of her mind told her that if Sidney ever did, this would be the woman he’d pick over her.

**

It was Saturday night and Nina pasted another smile on her face. If Trina got snide again, Nina didn’t know if she could be nice about it. But at least they were in public. As they sat down for dinner, a couple of guys came up. Sidney and his family had perfect PR smiles but the guys stopped in front of Nina.

“Hey, aren’t you Jason Jackson’s sister?”

Nina grinned. “Yes.”

“Why did he have to have such a great game against Pitt today? He killed them,” one of the guys said.

Nina shrugged. “Pitt should play better defense.”

After the guys left, Troy asked, “your brother plays college football?”

“Yup. He was the top prospect in Pennsylvania last season. Games on tv and everything.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sidney murmured.

Nina giggled as she replied, “All you do is eat, sleep, and breathe hockey.”

Sidney blushed as everyone laughed at that statement. However, through the night, more people came by the table to give Nina props for her brother’s monster game than to try to get a glimpse of Sidney. Jason had 184 yards receiving and 2 TDs for UNC today and there was already buzz about Jason being on the fast track to the NFL. During a lull, Trina stated, “You must get asked about your brother a lot.”

“I’m used to it. Once ESPN comes to your brother’s games when he was a sophomore in high school, you have to get used to it,” Nina said with a shrug. “I’m old enough that it really doesn’t bother me.”

“How does your brother deal with it,” Sidney asked, curious as he remembered some of his early experiences with fame. 

Nina replied, “College football is a different beast than the pros. So, he’s on scholarship and his days are pretty much regimented with meetings, practice, classes, more meetings, video study. I ran track when I was in undergrad so my experience was slightly similar. Main difference is that Jase gets paid for his likeness in video games now and a percentage of any jersey sales with his name and number.”

“You ran track,” Troy asked. Unlike his wife, he felt a bit more open towards Nina. It was obvious that she didn’t need Sidney for anything and Troy could see that his son was able to relax in a way with Nina that he hadn’t been able to relax with a woman before. 

“I had a partial scholarship. I ran the 4x100 relay and the 100 meters. I didn’t have the athletic ability to race for a living but I did decent,” Nina stated, feeling a bit shy. It had been a long time since she even talked about her track career. “I was state champ my senior year and my team won silver at the Penn Relays my sophomore and junior years of college. Now, I just run to stay in shape.”

“Wow,” Sidney said, impressed. “Sounds like you loved it though.”

Nina flashed Sidney a grin. “I did, I love running. What most people forget is that you can’t just run for health, you have to run and do strength training and yoga or Pilates.” 

“Have you been to any of your brother’s games,” Troy asked. “Seems like they are doing well.”

Nina replied, “We went to the season opener. I will never go to North Carolina in August ever again if I can help it. I’m going to their game next weekend at Virginia Tech. We’ll probably go to the bowl game since my little sister will be off school that week.”

“Seems like you stay busy,” Trina mused. 

Nina couldn’t help a little glare as she managed to say without malice, “I plan my calendar in advance.”

Trina said, “That sounds good. You have a life outside of everything.”

“And I will continue to have a life outside of everything,” Nina said with a syrup-sweet smile.

**

Nina quietly washed her hands, glancing up to the mirror. Trina was looking down on her hands as she washed hers. Tentatively, Nina asked, “Are you having a good time on this trip?”

“I enjoyed the Moms’ trip,” Trina replied. 

Nina looked down at her hands as she dried them. This was so awkward and she wanted to cry. 

“Sidney Crosby is here, and so are his parents,” somebody exclaimed just outside the ladies bathroom. Trina and Nina both shared a look until another person said, “And his n-word girlfriend is here with them too.”

Nina opened her mouth but Trina put up a finger. The second person continued, “His mom doesn't look too happy with that black girl. Maybe you could get a chance, finally.”

The door opener and the two women came in, laughing. The laughter stopped when those women saw Nina and Trina. 

“You don’t have to worry about getting a chance with my son because there’s no way I’d let him be with someone like you when he’s with a lady like Nina,” Trina stated. 

The two women shared a look but Trina stared them down until they left. Nina let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “No wonder my son is always saying that it hasn’t been easy for you,” Trina offered. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they get kicked out.”

Nina sniffled as she said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard it in person. It’s usually nasty messages online. I really, really hate it. But I guess I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life.”

Impulsively, Trina reached out and grabbed Nina’s hand. “From the way that my son looks at you, nasty women like those will just have to be angry forever.”

Nina giggled as they shared a look. It felt like there was a truce and she was going to take it. After Trina talked to the manager and got those women booted, Nina definitely felt like there was definitely a truce.

**

“Don’t take anything seriously. If they don’t like you, they’ll say absolutely nothing to you. If they make jokes, they like you.”

Two weeks after meeting Sid’s family, it was his turn to meet Nina’s family. The team was home for American Thanksgiving and they didn’t have a game until Friday evening this year. So Sidney was going with Nina to meet her extended family. He was feeling extra nervous and desperate to make a good impression. 

Sidney grimaced as Nina giggled. “Plus, it’s Aryanna’s birthday so they won’t be too mean. I think.”

“Anything else I need to worry about,” Sidney asked. 

Nina reached out over the console and touched Sidney’s hand. “Relax, it’s not a game. You can’t lose.”

“But, I want them-”

Cutting Sidney off, Nina said, “I know, you want them to like you. So be the dork that you are instead of faking like you aren’t a dork.”

Sidney felt a bit insulted but Nina gave him a dazzling smile. “I like it when you’re being dorky, anyway.”

**

Sidney tried hard to follow Nina’s advice. There were so many people that he couldn’t keep them all straight so he focused on making sure he remembered the names of the older people in Nina’s family. There was Mawmaw, the family matriarch, Tracey and Vernon, Nina’s parents, Aunt Tasha who baked the sweet potato pie that he was having his third slice of, Aunt Dee, Uncle Tony, and Uncle Bashir. All of the cousins kinda blurred together but Sidney figured he’d learn their names quickly. 

Overall, he felt like everything was going well. Sidney answered everyone’s questions and he guessed his answers were good since one of Nina’s older cousins told him his new nickname was White Boy. Nina had snickered while some of the younger ones giggled. Right now, Sidney was talking to Aunt Tasha. “What would it take to get you to bake me a pie of my own,” Sidney asked. 

Tasha laughed while Tracey smirked. Tracey interjected, “Oh no, Tasha gonna be bragging about this forever. ‘Guess who came to Thanksgiving and loved my sweet potato pie? Sidney Crosby loved my sweet potato pie.’ She will never shut up!”

“Don’t be mad that you can’t bake a pie as good as me, Tracey,” Tasha chided, laughing. “Nina makes a better pie than both of us but that girl don’t wanna cook.”

Tracey smirked when she saw the look on Sidney’s face. “Oh no, Tash, now this boy gonna be begging my daughter to make him a pie.”

Everyone laughed as Nina was in a different room. Mawmaw chided, “I’m happy that one of my family don’t got to be in the kitchen like that. I wish I could’ve been the same at her age.”

Sidney decided to scroll his phone as the older women began to argue. Then he felt someone tap his shoulder.

“White boy, you wanna play spades?”

Sidney looked at this cousin of Nina. He was sitting at a table with Vernon, one of her aunts, and another cousin. “No,” he replied, shaking his head. 

The cousin got a devious grin on his face. “It’s easy, you should play for Shantara, she can’t play for shit.”

Sidney’s competitive instinct told him it was a bad idea. And from the way Vernon was eyeing him, Sidney knew he was right for shaking his head. “Nope. I’ll learn by watching.”

“Nina’s white boy smart,” Aunt Tasha hollered. “You play spades and renege, boy, someone about to go for those knees.”

“Stop torturing, Sid, Deonte,” Nina scolded as she sat in Sidney’s lap. “At least wait til the second visit before hazing him over spades.”

“I like this boy, Nini. Keep him, he’s betta than that last boy you brought here, bless his heart. Didn’t know how to talk to people,” Mawmaw advised. 

Nina wanted to die as the rest of her family snickered. Holidays: the time of the year where your greatest fuckups get rehashed for shits and giggles. 

Nafis snorted. “What’s his name... it wasn’t that Ron boy, was it? Naw, it was James’s old friend, Jordan. We all knew he wasn’t shit, I mean, nothing, when he made Tommy mad.”

Nina winced as remembered that. Tommy was one of the sweetest guys and hard to rile up, but anyone who could make cousin Tommy mad was a douchebag. 

“Her pets like him. Tess curls in his lap and Steely lets him pet him,” Vernon said. 

Everyone stared at Sidney, eyes wide. Stuttering, Aunt Tasha said, “T-t-that cat and d-dog hate every damn body other than Nini and her family. I be damned.”

Mawmaw laughed.

The rest of the dinner went without incident. But at a quiet moment, Vernon pulled Sidney from the group to a quiet spot in the yard. It was late November in Western Pennsylvania so no one else was there. 

Vernon Jackson had seen more of his fair share of crap in his life. Growing up in Ward 8 of D.C., Vernon had dodged dealers, hustlers, stick-up kids, etc. to survive. His grades weren’t great so Vernon went into the army to ensure that he escaped. Through being deployed in the Gulf War then to Mogadishu, Vernon had done his best to make sure that all his children had more than he did growing up. 

Now, his sweettart, his eldest, his sweet girl, Nina was grown. She had done more than he and Tracey combined. But looking at the man he was sure his daughter was in love with, Vernon began to wonder if he made a mistake. 

Oh, it was obvious that Sidney Crosby was in love with his daughter. But the feelings of love could fade and given his history, Vernon couldn’t trust that Crosby would do the right thing. 

So as a loving father, Vernon pulled Sidney to the side. “I just wanted to ask you something important before I give my blessing to this.”

“Yes, sir,” Sidney responded. 

“You know your children will be considered Black?”

Vernon watched Sidney’s face after asking that question. Lust and infatuation was nice but this was his little girl. The last thing he wanted was his daughter hurt because she fell for someone not just clueless but maliciously clueless about race. 

Sidney quietly replied, “I know. People will see them as Black and will think the worst of them first.”

Not bad, Vernon thought. He expected a colorblind response.

Then he heard Nina call out, “Dad? Sid? We are about to cut the cake!”

Vernon and Sid both grimaced but for different reasons. Vernon because he couldn’t really have cake because of his diabetes, Sid because cake wasn’t on his meal plan. Vernon told Sidney, “before you start making plans for rings, you need to start thinking about how you are going to start speaking up about race. Think about that.”

**

Sidney kept Vernon’s words in his mind through the week. Trina had told him what happened in the bathroom that night but Nina told him that his mom had handled it for her. But as he waited for Nina to open her door, Sidney couldn’t help but think what he could do to avoid situations like that from happening for Nina. But words failed as Nina opened the door and gave him a shy smile. 

“Hi pretty girl,” Sidney drawled as he walked in, closing the door. He hung up his coat on her coat rack before sitting on Nina’s couch.

“I missed you daddy”

“Missed you, pretty girl. Did you have fun?”

Nina straddled Sid’s thigh and replied, “it was a good time even though UNC lost. The VT campus is beautiful. How was the road trip?”

Sid laughed as Nina played with his hair. “It went well but Geno got hurt. He’ll be out for two weeks.”

“That sucks.”

Sidney hummed his assent as he wrapped an arm around Nina’s waist. He missed his pretty girl and it seemed like she missed him too. They sat there together for several quiet moments before Nina whispered, “I really missed you, daddy. It’s been too long.”

Sidney gave Nina a slow smile as she began to grind on his thigh. He felt the same way as he kissed Nina, soft and slow. Then as they broke apart, the sensual haze on Nina’s face turned into horror.  “God damn it,” she muttered. 

Sidney frantically asked, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just felt my period show up, three days early,” Nina said, rubbing her temples. Her period was cock-blocking her after a couple weeks of no dick and she wanted to die. “I just felt cramps and as much as I’d like to slide to my knees and suck you off, it won’t happen tonight.”

Nina groaned as she closed her eyes, head down. Sidney just started to laugh. 

“Cmon, pretty girl. Let’s just watch movies tonight.”

“Movies sound good,” Nina replied, “I just refuse to watch Friends, ever.”

Sidney giggle-honked as Nina moved from straddling his thigh to curling into his lap. 

[northern-passage]

Hihi, just wondering what application you do your writing on? And also how do you organise all of your stuff - ideas, stray scenes, character info, lore ... TNP is set in such a rich fantasy world, I wanted to know how you keep yourself from getting overwhelmed 0_0

i jump around between two programs; i write in word which i still have from when i was in college hahaha. i have a folder on my computer that has all my word docs compiled together, and atm i have separate sub-folders for the prologue and chapter one, a folder that’s just scrapped scenes & ideas, another one that’s all notes and outlines, and a whole folder just for characters. i have over 200 word files for tnp lmao & currently 19 txt files that are the actual scenes in the game.

i also have my own private discord i use to randomly shoot ideas i have when i’m out and about.

otherwise i write directly into visual studio code, which has a choicescript downloadable extension (some people use CSIDE). typically i’ll write early versions of scenes in word w/ shorthand code written throughout the text so i can split up variations and remember variables, then i’ll copy and paste it into vsc, editing & adding the code as i go, and then i’ll add in like transitions and other small things there. lately i’ve been writing directly into vsc more though because it saves a lot of time... you can tell when i’ve copy pasted because there will by curly quotes in the dialogue and i’ve been too lazy to fix it, hahaha.

i also back everything up on googledocs, so i regularly upload my word folder & my choicescript folder there.

a lot of stuff i just keep in my head which isn’t a good idea but. lol 🤷‍♀️

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Seen ✓ - 3

Pairing: Sam x Reader Warnings: cursing, a bit of self depreciation Word Count: 2.2k Series Summary: On her way home, Y/n finds an abandoned, cracked phone on the sidewalk. Anxious about the well-being of its owner, she picks it up and texts the first contact she finds; Sam. Beta: None

Part 1  -  Part 2 Masterlist

Chapter 3: for the love of god, explain this

Sam Winchester lies awake at three in the morning, under foreign, scratchy sheets, stubbornly not tearing his eyes from the cracked, ugly wallpaper on the ceiling. A lot of things are happening and his brain is going about a million miles an hour, spinning endlessly, Castiel, Dean returning from hell, the stress of the hunting life, the current case and… Y/n. Wonderful, smart, talented, funny Y/n.

It’s been a while since someone has made him excited. He keeps bumping into her in his mind, keeps finding thoughts of her lying around, eager to distract him. He catches himself wanting to text her about every stupid thing that happens in his day, much like she sometimes does. She’s been the only thing that makes his heart a little lighter, and it’s such a strange feeling, someone’s presence being this uplifting.

He was suspicious of her at first. A strange woman (at least she claims to be one, he forgets he’s never actually… seen her) asking about him, his profession, and then about… ghosts? A bit random, too specific, Sam recognizes he got defensive. But the way she spoke afterwards… he doesn’t know.  His instinct tells him to trust her.

Amidst his thoughts, he doesn’t remember picking up his phone, but it’s just one of those nights, he needs someone to talk to- or rather, wants Y/n specifically. A thought he chooses not to dwell on.

are you awake? I can’t sleep.

I actually am. Lucky you.

Sam smiles. Lucky me, he thinks.

isn’t it like 4 am for you?

Tell me about it. No luck sleeping either.

happen to you a lot?

Yeah.

I happen to have anxiety induced insomnia.

Working at a bar also helps fuck up your sleeping schedule as well.

You?

i’m sorry :/

i don’t get much sleep either. something always keeps me up.

Yeah, I get that.

Where in the Great Unites States of America are you today?

hahah it’s Oregon today.

it’s the ugliest motel room i’ve ever been in.

Ooh

Do I ask about your case or is it confidential?

it’s confidential but i’ll tell you that i am investigating a bunch of strange murders.

You’re investigating serial killers?? That’s so fucking dope.

something like that yeah.

how was your day?

Oh, you know. The usual.

College assignments, a shift at the bar. I went out with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

I need to clean my house desperately.

I also nearly burned my kitchen down trying to cook lunch. Emmy and I ended up eating some lazy-ass spaghetti, because pasta is the only thing I can cook, apparently.

hahahah what were you making?

You’re gonna laugh if I tell you.

well now you must.

Ugh, do I?

come onnn

It was eggs, okay? I was just trying to make eggs.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I TOLD YOU YOU’D LAUGH AT ME

HOW DID YOU BURN EGGS?!

LISTEN, OKAY

I NEVER SAID I WAS A GOOD COOK

HAHAHAHAH

Sam laughs over his phone, as silently as he can, so as to not wake Dean up. He turns on his other side and realizes his cheeks hurt from smiling, and it’s a feeling he’s missed.

Yeah, yeah, laugh, culinary genius. Not all of us can be perfect.

i never said i was a culinary genius

but at least i don’t go near stoves if i don’t have to.

Well, it’s not like I can afford every-day takeout (or like that shit is healthy, even if I could) and someone has to cook for my sister while she’s in school

you have siblings?

and yeah you’re right i didn’t think like that sorry.

It’s okay.

And yeah, my sister, Emily.” Emmy”

oooh i thought emmy was your friend.

Nono, it’s my sister. She’s 17.

can i ask you a personal question?

Shoot

why do you have to take care of her? are your guys’ parents not around?

you don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable with that.

Well, it’s a bit complicated.

My parents’ marriage kind of fell apart when I was around 10. They tried to fix things by adopting a kid- Emily. For a while that worked.

When I was 16 my mom took off and dad took care of us for 2 years almost. He really dedicated himself to us.

He worked his antique shop and supported us. For two years, I didn’t see him spend a penny on himself.

But I ended up having to take care of Em when he passed. I was freshly 18, so I could take care of her as a guardian.

shit i’m so sorry.

It’s okay, honestly.

I mean, it didn’t use to be, and it was hell for a while.

But we made it.

i admire your positivity.

I try :)

i also love that you put smiley faces in your text messages.

Shouldn’t have said that, now I’ll always think about it before I do it

hahah

Sam bites his lip. What the hell is happening? They’re… flirting. Sorta. And it’s nice- better than nice. Fuck.

What about you?

you mean what’s my relationship with my parents?

Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid. It wasn’t what I was asking either.

What I meant was, how’s your life right now. How’s the family business. You can pick which you wanna answer.

i don’t mind either honestly.

as for my parents my mom died when I was 6 months old. my dad passed away about a year and a half ago.

Jesus, I’m so sorry Sam

I don’t know what to say. It can’t have been easy. Losing a parent never is.

it wasn’t but as you said we’re trying to sort of find our footing with Dean. we’ve had our ups and downs.

Yeah I understand that.

Do you wanna talk about it?

right now not really. I mean there’s not much to say about it.

i kinda wanna forget about it. thanks though.

Alright.

So how’s the family business?

Does it feel good to be paid to be Sherlock Holmes?

crap. but we’re doing our best.

for the record i don’t get paid nearly enough for the shit i have to do.

Hahaha, hang in there.

Dean still refuses to come get his phone?

yeah. he says you can keep it.

Tell him to take care of his devices from now on, this one was battered beyond recognition.

duly noted.

The conversation continued until well after the sun rose. Sam had officially accepted this night to be sleepless, and Y/n was good company. Somehow she took his mind off of everything that was bugging him, made him, if momentarily, forget about it, and he truly loved that about her. The back and forth tended to flow easily between them, and he couldn’t get enough of the chemistry he had with this practical stranger.

Sleepless or not, this night was a good one, after she entered the picture.

-

The glow on her skin is blue-ish and soft, combatting the one from the fairy lights above them. Laptop absolutely not low in volume, couch dipping under two bodies, slumped together, legs leaning against one another, soft flannel pants and droopy eyes. Emily’s hair is out of its usual half-up hairstyle, exploding with volume and bright, firey color, flowing onto the back of the couch.

Jon Snow is yelling on the screen, and Y/n is completely ignoring him, constantly checking her inactive phone and the way the screen doesn’t light up with Sam’s name. Every time she feels disappointed, she tries to quell the relentless thoughts of the possibility of him being completely over her.

Damn it.

“Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend I’m not aware of or something?” Emily mutters dryly, half-hearted but gentle teasing. Y/n sputters.

“Huh?”

“’Cause you keep checking your phone, and as far as I know you don’t have any friends.”

“HEY,” deeply offended, Y/n places her hand over her heart, glaring at her sister. “Excuse you!” she exclaims, “Connor? Ashley? Lydia?”

“Yeah, a neighbor and two college students that you haven’t talked to in like, what, two weeks? What a social butterfly.”

“Okay first off,” Y/n ignores the screaming and fighting on the screen and shifts to look at her sister. “Stop tracking my socializing.” Em scoffs.

“C’mon, bear, spill.” Bottom lip pouted. She pauses the episode, turning to face her older sister. “Who are they and when can I meet them?” A devilish smile, teasing like only a younger sister can, curling the right corner of her lip.

“He’s not my boyf-“

“AHA! So there is someone! I knew it!”

“I’ve known him for like- what, three weeks? Nothing is going on! I barely know the guy!” Y/n fiddles with her hair and huffs, holding back a smile.

“Where’d you meet him? Is he hot? What’s he like?!” Poking her sister’s thigh continuously, she grins wide, excited. “C’mon, you’re like, no fun.”

“The thing is… I didn’t. Meet him, I mean.” Eyebrows furrow.

“Uh…” Emily purses her lips. “I’m … not following.”

It takes all of five minutes for Y/n to explain to her sister all about her crazy adventure, the lost phone, the brother, Sam. The girls munch on leftover garlic spaghetti, talking about the stranger on the other side of Y/n’s screen.

“He’s just… different? I don’t know- I just, I’m intrigued I guess. He’s mysterious and hilarious. The type of guy we’d hang out with. Why pass it up?”

“Just hang out?” Emily wiggles her eyebrows. Y/n shoves her.

“It’s really not like that.”

“I don’t know, Y/n, he doesn’t necessarily sound just friendly to me.” Y/n won’t lie and say she hasn’t thought about it. She’s a romantic after all, and what a wonderful, movie-like love story would it be for them to fall in love and march into the sunset?

But she recognizes this is the romantic side of her picking up speed on a subject that definitely isn’t for her to decide alone. There’s a second participant in all of this, and he needs to do more than half the work by liking her. She knows it’s no easy feat. A bitter dab of paint dissolves in her chest, because why would he like her? She’s nothing quite special. She’s just a bartender, a college student, a boring, normal girl, painfully mundane, painfully boring. He’s brilliant, kind and sweet, a private investigator, he travels all the time, he’s the most interesting guy she’s ever met for crying out loud. Why would he ever give her a chance?

“I doubt it, Em,” is what Y/n decides to say, because there’s no way she can explain exactly what she’s thinking.

“No, no, you’re doing that thing again.” A hum in question falls from the older Andrews’ lips. “The thing where you put yourself down for bullshit reasons. He’d be lucky to have you.” Y/n wants to roll her eyes. “Hey,” a snap of Emily’s fingers in front of Y/n’s face to catch her attention. “I will literally slap you. You’re smart, funny, kind. He’d be fucking lucky to have you, and if you don’t believe it, I’m gonna beat some sense into you. Stop putting my sister down.”  Y/n doesn’t have anything good to say to that, so instead she lets out a huffed breath of a laugh and sits back on the couch.

“Now,” Emily leans over her own crossed legs and grabs her phone from the rickety coffee table. “Did you Google him?”

“Why the heck would I Google him?”

“It’s the 21st century, Y/n, gosh. Are you at all familiar with internet stalking?” Y/n watched pebbled coffee brown eyes get illuminated by the phone screen, freckles nowhere near as bright as they can be, because she hasn’t gone out into the sunlight today. Emily is gorgeous. Y/n is sometimes jealous, but also genuinely admires her younger sister. “What’s his name?”

“Sam Winchester.”

There’s typing, and then silence.

“Y/n…” And the warning tone on the younger one’s voice completely throws her off.

“What? What is it?” A phone screen is thrust in her face.

Mail fraud, credit card fraud, grave desecration, armed robbery, kidnapping, three counts of first-degree murder, and breaking and entering, she reads. Winchester brothers Sam and Dean, disappeared, considered dead.

“What the fuck,” she mutters under her breath, completely horrified at the chance that this is real and the universe isn’t playing some comic joke on her, creating another pair of Winchester brothers called Sam and Dean who, instead of chasing murderers, are the murderers.

She scrolls lower and sure enough, there they are. Mug shots, but more specifically, the guy from the dating app, smouldering cheekily into the camera –a real blue steel-, holding a police station name on a black plaque, sitting at close to six feet and two. Then the younger one, less joyful and sassy, more serious and puppy-eyed. Sam. Close to what was described to her, it’s all there. Pointy nose, sharp jawline, curly brown hair with a growing, swoopy fringe, pulled behind his ears. It’s him. There’s no way, the coincidences are too many.

“Bear…” Emily stares at Y/n’s shocked face, gaze empty and out of it. “What the hell have you gotten yourself into?”

Immediately, Y/n grabs her phone.

Sam

His reply is instantaneous.

hey y/n

i was just thinking about you

what’s up?

Please for the love of God.

Explain this.

She sends him the mugshot, photographed from the screen of her sister’s phone.

shit.

-

Part 4

A/N: Tell me what you thought? How the hell does he even explain this?

I realized I haven’t been tagging my forever taglist like a MORON, so just, sorry, I’ll start now. 

Forevers:   @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester​ @deanssweetheart23​ @nostalgic-uncertainty​ @mogaruke​ @superseejay721517​ @lady-hawkguy​ @thosefeelsarereal​ @superwholockmarauder​  @justiceiswater​ @petra-arkanian-1497​ @heyitscam99​ @danijimenezv​ @aj-reuth  @unicornblood4ever @mystriee​ @sadist-fangirl23 @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @superrandomnatural​ @altosaxplayer098 @winter-moons @hunterswearingplaid​ @novaddictx​ @choosemyname​  @live-like-a-girl​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @bowtomytenderaddiction​  @elara98azalea​ @lemondropirwin​ @emmagolden4118​ @glitchcypher @calaofnoldor​ @paradoxical-sleep​ @narynechan @canwenotdothis​ @suicidepanda07​ 

Sam Taglist

@kymberlytorres​ @theboykingsamwinchester​ @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes​ @captainmarvelcorps​ @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away​ @nellachain​

 Seen Taglist  @shutupiminlooove​ @sammysgirl1997​ @kymberlytorres​ @bambi95-blog​ @demonic-meatball​ @thekarliwinchester​ @littlekay15​ @li-m-ii​  @thinspo-isuppose​ @carryonmywaywarddemigodwitch @ellen-reincarnated1967 @moonlitskinwalker​ @marichromatic​ @illuminatus42​ @lazy-author​ @mirandaaustin93​ @hauntedsiriel​ @pilaxia​ @devilgirlsarah​ @nobodys-baby-now​ @captiveties​ @calamitychaos @midiocris @wordswillscream​ @burningforsam​ @aiofheavenandhell​

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Idle Chat with Kiro

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a feature which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

The CN server was recently graced with a new feature called 随便聊聊 (“Idle Chat”), where you can select a mood and talk to the love interests about work, life, and studies :>

Idle Chat with: Gavin / Lucien / Shaw / Victor

[ WORK - Topic 1: Overtime ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: We can visit that dessert shop today! Because I. Don’t! Have! To! Work! Overtime!

Kiro: Although we’re separated by the screen, I can sense Miss Chip’s happiness~

Kiro: Since this is the case, our challenge today will be to--

Kiro: Wipe! The! Dessert! Shop! Clean!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Went to work feeling muddle-headed today, which left me with a stack of incomplete work. Sigh, I might have to work overtime today.

Kiro: Did you spend too much time watching dramas last night?

Kiro: Next time, you have to stick to a regular sleeping timing.

Kiro: Also, isn’t the male lead by your side?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: The market hasn’t been good lately, so the income I received has also gone down. I feel like I’ve left everyone down...

Kiro: Back then, MC went through such difficult times.

Kiro: I think these little twists and turns don’t account for much!

Kiro: Because you’re always producing miracles!

-

[ WORK - Topic 2: Income ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I’ve received my pay~ I even have a bonus this month! Aren’t I incredible?

Kiro: As expected of Miss Chips!

Kiro: As a reward, I’ll give you a present.

Kiro: Want to know what it is?

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I have no idea why, but I haven’t been interested in anything I do. Could it be because it’s a long time till payday?

Kiro: Mm... want to consider changing occupations and becoming my assistant?

Kiro: You’ll be paid daily.

Kiro: Also, there will be an additional, exclusive Kiro hug every day.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Working overtime again and again and again and again! There’s even a rainstorm outside! The most enraging thing is that I didn’t bring an umbrella!

Kiro: I checked the weather forecast beforehand

Kiro: So I knew there’d be a rainstorm

Kiro: Give me five minutes - I’ll be there soon!

-

[ WORK - Topic 3: Program Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Do you still remember the collaborative program I mentioned before? We plan to invite a mystery guest. Want to guess who he is?

Kiro: I’m guessing he is -- Kiro!

Kiro: If Miss Chips doesn’t invite me,

Kiro: I’ll be very hurt.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: The reaction from the other party regarding this collaborative program seems bland. Actually, I also find the content a little boring. I have no inspiration at all...

Kiro: In my eyes, everything Miss Chips does is very interesting.

Kiro: But if you really have no inspiration,

Kiro: Need me to help you grab it back?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’ve already made over thirty amendments to the proposal for this collaborative program. What more does the other party want?! What do they mean by a “vibrant black”??

Kiro: Oo... a vibrant black...

Kiro: It does sound like a difficult operation.

Kiro: Maybe it’s the same thing as how Apple Box’s jet-black eyes are bright even at night?

-

[ WORK - Topic 4: Program Results ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The program I’ve been working on for months has finally gotten approved! If I were to continue doing it, I’d probably have gone bald... Should I place an order for hair-growth shampoo?

Kiro: Instead of hair-growth shampoo, I think what you need more is sufficient sleep.

Kiro: Or a limited-edition Kiro hug?

Kiro: I’ll decide on both of them on your behalf~

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: My daily self-reflection -- Has the program been approved? Not yet :(

Kiro: My daily self-reflection -- Do I think about Miss Chips?

Kiro: Always. 

Kiro: Miss Chips, do your best!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Good news. The program I’ve been painstakingly working on for several months has been rejected. :)

Kiro: Whenever my albums get delayed, I’ll take Apple Box out for a walk.

Kiro: Since Apple Box doesn’t have a slot recently,

Kiro: Why don’t I take you out for a walk instead?

🌻

[ LIFE - Topic 1: Losing Weight ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I've reached my ideal weight! I’m really happy~ I can finally toss away the salad that even Apple Box dislikes.

Kiro: Although I didn’t think you were fat before,

Kiro: What’s most important is that Miss Chips is happy!

Kiro: P.S. You’ve stopped eating snacks recently - Apple Box and I are both very upset.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: A sincere question - If your weight remained the same after dieting and exercising for a week, would you choose to feast ferociously on crayfish or barbecue? 

Kiro: Since your weight is so disobedient,

Kiro: Let’s punish it fiercely!

Kiro: Why don’t we have barbecue along with crayfish!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Why is it that every time I indulge in extravagant eating and drinking, I always scroll to a page showing models with incredible figures?! I’m once again putting up a flag to lose weight!!

Kiro: Promise me that you won’t go on a diet to lose weight.

Kiro: Effective exercise and a reasonable work-life balance is the correct way to do it.

Kiro: But will our weekly dessert day continue?

-

[ LIFE - Topic 2: Meals ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Burp-- I had a buffet this afternoon, and I’m so full now. Let me secretly tell you that I had to support myself on the wall to get out.

Kiro: Hahaha, I’m also the same after a photoshoot,

Kiro: Wanting to stuff myself to the brim.

Kiro: Next time, let’s compete to see who is the true buffet killer!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’ve entered a special bottleneck period - What should I have for lunch? What should I have for dinner?

Kiro: Mm... this is indeed a big problem which frequently stumps me.

Kiro: Want to watch a documentary on delicacies?

Kiro: You might be able to find some “inspiration” on what to eat.

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I was seized by a whim and did some cooking. When I changed the seasoning just slightly, I ended up creating a mysterious, indescribable taste...

Kiro: Mm... has your cooking magic lost its touch temporarily?

Kiro: That’s all right 

Kiro: Tomorrow, we’ll try again together. 

-

[ LIFE - Topic 3: Reading ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I came across a picture book today, and readers can use their fingers to make a dot in the book grow bigger or smaller~ It’s very adorable!

Kiro: I really wish Miss Chips were that little dot.

Kiro: That way, I can make you really tiny

Kiro: And store you in my pocket. 

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: There’s a book wasteland... Why can’t I find a single good book...

Kiro: Someone said that the most interesting book is a person’s life.

Kiro: Could the reason you’re unable to find a good book

Kiro: Be because your life is already very interesting?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I’ve been keeping up with a web series, but the author said that he decided to go on a hiatus today after receiving negative comments. My spiritual nourishment is gone...

Kiro: Negative comments truly make people upset

Kiro: Want to leave an encouraging comment to the author?

Kiro: Tell him that there are many readers who like his work!

-

[ LIFE - Topic 4: Games ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Ding-- Dear respected customer, your gaming partner has found another interesting game. If you wish to know the name of the game, kindly reply with a ‘1′

Kiro: Rejected.

Kiro: Hahahaha, I’m just teasing you.

Kiro: 11111!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Help... I’m stuck at the fifth stage of this riddle game. What do I have to do so the squirrel would release its hold on the key?

Kiro: There’s actually such a mean squirrel?

Kiro: Let me handle it!

Kiro: If it doesn’t work, I’ll let Cello catch it!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: My hand slipped when I was playing a game today, causing the entire game to restart :) Don’t stop me - I’m going to chop off this troublemaking hand!!

Kiro: An urgent appeal to spare your hand!

Kiro: Think on the positive side,

Kiro: We now have another thing we can complete together~

🌻

[ SCHOOL - Topic 1: Progress ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: I've prepared a studying schedule, and am filled with confidence for this new life of studying! Kiro, please supervise me from time to time!

Kiro: Understood! 

Kiro: If you get lazy--

Kiro: Heheh, there’ll be punishment. 

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: I’ve been staring at my book for an hour in a daze. Why do I understand the words in isolation, but not when they are strung together?

Kiro: Mm... from a certain perspective, isn’t knowledge a series of code?

Kiro: Read them as though you’re playing a riddle game. 

Kiro: Perhaps you’ll find a way to pass the stage!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: Why does my brain function so slowly the moment I start studying? Isn’t it very amazing when I play games?!

Kiro: I’d like to correct two mistakes Miss Chips made--

Kiro: Number One, whenever you get stuck in a game, you’d let me take over;

Kiro: Number Two, your brain isn’t functioning slowly. It’s just time to take a break.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 2: Homework ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: Because I remembered the reward you mentioned, I finished my homework really quickly today! What’s the reward, what’s the reward?

Kiro: I already said that you could definitely do it!

Kiro: As for the reward,

Kiro: Come closer, and I’ll tell you.

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Whenever I do homework, it seems that aside from the homework, I become curious about everything else. Oh yes, do you think a dog sees itself as a dog?

Kiro: Miss Chips, concentrate!

Kiro: But for your question, I’ve asked Apple Box about it

Kiro: It responded and said...

Kiro: Bark!

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: A sincere question - can homework be done in stages? I really can’t finish it ahhh!

Kiro: Take your time, I’ll accompany you.

Kiro: Although I don’t know if homework can be done in stages,

Kiro: But my care for you is a fixed asset.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 3: Pre-exam Revision ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The exam is coming up soon. It’s a good thing you supervised me and ensured that I studied seriously. The scope of the exam was also very clearly detailed by the teacher!

Kiro: I think you forgot the most important thing--

Kiro: Miss Chips’ own diligence and hard work.

Kiro: Miss Chips, all the best for your exam!

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: Memorising the examinable points is really difficult. It feels as though the moment I memorise a sentence, I forget the earlier one. How do you memorise the lines in your script?

Kiro: I have my exclusive Kiro memorisation technique of course!

Kiro: It’s exceptionally effective!

Kiro: If you want know about it, bring a bag of chips over to me~

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: When the teacher was pointing out the important segments, he said the first three chapters are the foundation, the following three chapters are important, and the final three chapters are examinable. Doesn’t this mean I have to revise the entire book!

Kiro: It takes a long time to revise the entire book.

Kiro: Do you need a Kiro exam buddy?

Kiro: It comes with a massage, milk tea delivery, and hugs.

-

[ SCHOOL - Topic 4: Post-exam celebration ]

1. Mood: Happy

MC: The exam is over~ After comparing answers, there doesn’t seem to be any big issues! Kiro, who supervised me in my revision, is the best!

Kiro: Congratulations Miss Chips!

Kiro: Since I’ve rendered outstanding service, as a reward,

Kiro: Give all your post-examination resting time to me~

-

2. Mood: Upset

MC: The exam is finally over... I actually don’t feel very happy... Could it be because the final question was simply incomprehensible? 

Kiro: Hasn’t Miss Chips been looking forward to this day for a very long time?

Kiro: In that case, I have to find a way to cheer you up.

Kiro: Let’s laze on the sofa and watch your favourite movie. How’s that?

-

3. Mood: Angry

MC: I messed it up... I gave up on the last two questions... I think I’ve definitely messed it up...

Kiro: Maybe all the questions in front were correct!

Kiro: Also, one exam doesn’t mean much

Kiro: You’ll always be the smartest Miss Chips in my heart!

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 12

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)

C: From your perspective, are editors someone who nurture (mangakas)? Are they gonna continue to be a presence who shape a part of you?

I: Nurturing? I don’t even aware of it at all. I think that applies to each other. I think both shape a part of each other as the relationship deepens. The editor gives feedback and the writer fixes the story based on the feedback. That’s how a work is created. I think both are shaping a part of one another. The writer and the editor becomes that kind of existence to each other and that’s how they both grow and change on their own accord. I don’t think they help writers grow though. To me, helping a human to grow is presumptuous/stupid.

(t/n: The word ‘okagamashii’ means both presumptuous and stupid. I’m not sure which one of them was he referring to in this context. You can interpret it as you like.)

I: Is the next Choujin X gonna be release soon?

I: Yeah. I forgot how to draw it in the middle of drawing the draft, so it took me some time.

*Ishida mentioned that he’s finding time to do both choujin x and animal rap, as well as drawing JJ’s illustrations.

C: I’m happy there’s a lot of streaming videos lately.

I: There’s not a lot lately, since I went away for a while. Maybe the duration was actually shorter than I thought it was.

C: Let’s stream until noon.

I: Well…it depends on the situation. I do think of that. I can’t help but do my work during streaming. Just like what I’m doing currently. If I play games, I’ll just play and then when it’s over, I can just end the stream. But when I’m doing my work, I don’t know when I should end it. I’ve no choice but to finish my work. In other words, I’ll be streaming until I’m done with my manuscript. For me, doing that is good because my work can progress. It’s like I’m being monitored. For a period of time, OPM’s artist, Murata sensei did that before but he quit for few reasons. I think it’s good to feel like you’re being monitored. Hamada Yoshikasu sensei did that as well. He pretty much streamed him working everyday. I’m not sure whether he’s still doing it.

C: Do stream every night.

I: That’s a bit…This is also difficult for me to do. I like making plans on what I should do. For example, “what I should do for this and that day?” or “what if I do this with this pace?”, but to actually follow the plan is hard. You’d feel lazy on the very day you had a plan. People who thoroughly follow their plans are admirable, aren’t they? It’s not like I have the need to follow it. But then, I wish to be able to do that.

C: If you get bored drawing the background, I want you to stream while you’re working on it even if it’s on irregular basis.

I: For the background, I must finish doing them all at once, if not it’ll take a few days. There’s a limit to what kind of work I can stream. I don’t want really wanna show me working on the latest chapter. It’s the latest chapter, after all. I’ll show the chapter after I’ve drawn it properly. This one is basically me fixing the chapter 2, so it’s fine.

C: It’ll be nice if there’s a notice before the stream on the day itself.

I: I see. It’ll be easier to watch if there’s a notice. You can arrange your time. But then, it depends on my mood. I‘d feel sorry if I suddenly don’t wanna stream, but you guys are already excitedly waiting for it. So, I’ll just do it randomly.

C: I can prepare some sweets if there’s a notice beforehand.

I: Well…Maybe I’ll at least give notice on that very day. If I really wanna stream, then I might let you guys know beforehand.

I: The 30,000 commemoration. I might not do anything for it. But I’ll keep that as a memory. Even someone like me can have that amount of subscribers with this kind of content. I’m thankful for that.

C: I turn on my notification, so it doesn’t matter if you tell us beforehand or not.

I: Oh, really? Then, I’ll do it as I like. It’s better If there’s a notice. Well, I’ll do it if I feel like it.

C: This is random, but I only turned on your tweet notification.  

I: Sometimes, I forgot to update on my twitter though. I update it when I’m streaming.

C: 30,000 subscribers is amazing! It’s more than the number of people in my home town.

I: That’s true. If you think about it that way, then 30,000 is amazing.

*Someone wanted Ishida to stream the drawing of the Choujin X’s volume’s cover, but he said it’ll be hard to do that.

C: For me, I like for the cover to be a surprise.

I: Hm…I probably think so too.

I: For me, regarding choujin x, I want everything about it, such as the drafts, to be a secret. If I got to do another manga, then I might…ah, but that probably wouldn’t be possible due to my personality. I do kinda want to be monitored when I’m drawing difficult stuffs. It seems to be efficient for me that way. It could make me feel motivated if you guys watching me draw them.

*The adult comment came back.

I: Can I do something about it? It’s probably just random comments. Report or timeout? What’s timeout for? Should I try time it out this time? Did it time out?

*The comment finally gone. It’s troublesome though. I have to do something about the comment every single time. I should leave it to the dark moderator.

I: It did!

*Ishida mentioned that he’d timeout this one fan if they commented something unpleasant.

C: That could be a reward itself.

I: What? Me banning that person? That’s already a stalker attitude. You mean it’s because I noticed them, right? There must be such people. But what a pitiful person if that’s the only way for them to be noticed by others. Doing what the other party dislikes, then seeing their unpleasant reaction. Being happy just by the fact that the other party reacted to them is already a lost cause. Don’t wanna be that kind of person, right?

C: It’s amazing how you can have a phone call with someone everyday.

I: It depends on the occasion. Like when you really feel the need to talk or when you’re having a tough time. I too had times when I randomly just called someone because I couldn’t concentrate working. When I thought it’d be good for me to work while conversing, then I’d call someone. But the other person also has their own life, if this happens continuously, even if they say okay, they must be actually enduring it. I mostly speak to my work-related friend.

C: Being a mangaka is a lonely job, isn’t it?

I: Yeah, you’re right. This is also another difficult issue. It might get harder to confront my work if I spend more time with others. So, especially, recently, I tried to get myself more motivated. I’ve isolated myself around until the end of summer, but as I thought, working with people is easier for me, mentally speaking. I have somebody to listen to me and I feel less pressured, that is, they give me some kind of advice and I can apply them.

C: Do you consult with the editor in charge when you’re at loss?

I: I think I do. I did consult with Mr. Matsuo at the beginning. But then, I think it’s important to resolve your problems on your own. I do think I have a lot of people I can consult with, and that’s totally fine, but I don’t want to do that. I want to find the answers that I’m completely satisfied with by myself. So, I hold myself back from seeking others’ advice. I did ask Ms. Towada about stuffs on JJ when I had some questions since she gave good answers.

I: Well, I wanna work on this manga randomly. And by ‘random’, I don’t mean sloppily. I wanna work on this manga in a way that’s appropriate for both the work and I. So, I thought it’d be better for me to seek less advice or opinions from others. I’ll do differently if this way isn’t working.

C: You’re a wise person.

I: Obviously. Hahaha. Of course. It’s because I keep thinking about things like this. I hope you find my words useful.

*He then mentioned that he preferred the way of doing things randomly, but it might not be suitable for certain people. However, it’s okay to seek advice.

*Ishida recalling the conversation he had with Ms. Towada regarding Hoshi Sandek.

I: “Hoshi and Arima look similar, right?”.

T: “Have you seen how Arima Kishou looks like?”.

I: “Yes, I have… They look similar, right?”

T: “You mean their characters’ overlapped?”

I: “Not that.”

T: “Hmm….”

I: Hahaha. What do you guys think? Do Sandek and Arima look similar?

C: Are you a TG bandwagon fan?

I: Hahaha. I might’ve never read it properly. But I legit did read TG recently. I’m not kidding. I took a look at it again. I’m thinking of accepting TG. It’s not that I don’t. I wanna accept it more. All said and done, I’m really glad I wrote TG. It’s good that I have something to leave behind. It’s definitely a good thing.

C: Have you ever played Red Dead Redemption 2? (comment in eng.)

I: Like I said, short time. Short time? Little time. (Speaking in eng) I wanna play it though. I wanna play more, but I’ve no time. Too busy.

C: I think Hoshi is actually what Sui looks like. (comment in eng.)

I: She’s saying Hoshi looks similar to me. Are you kidding me?

*Ishida looking for another page to draw.

I: Please take a look at this version of the chapter in the magazine. This will be in the comic as well, probably. They’re both the same.

C: Sensei, are you gonna sleep after this?

I: Nope. I’ll probably check whether Hitman’s already downloaded after I end the stream. After that, I’ll eat and then finish up my upcoming work. I need to add colour for the pages. And I kinda wanna draw an illustration. Have you guys seen Itaewon Class on Netflix? It’s from a Korean webtoon. It’s been made into a drama and I was super addicted to it.

C: Park Saeroyi? (The name of the drama’s mc)

I: Yes. That one. He’s really cool. That hairstyle. I wanna draw Park Saeroyi, if can. There’s this sassy kinda girl in the story, right? That girl is a total beauty. Yi Seo. (t/n: Yi Seo is the FL’s name.)

I: I wanna draw real humans. I’ve been drawing them lately, not that it’s a problem, since I’ve been drawing manga only.

C: She is pretty!!

I: I know right. She’s gorgeous.

I: I read a little bit of the original work, and it pretty much the same as the drama, so I thought the original work was amazing. But then, the Japanese version changed it into Roppongi Class. It’s a different vibe… Does it really matter if it’s in Itaewon? They changed it to suit Japanese readers. Was it the Line Manga or was it not? I don’t remember, but they did that. Just let it be in Itaewon or Korea. I was like “Don’t f*** with me!”.

C: Marunouchi Class.

I: Haha. I’m drawing that. Marunouchi Class. (t/n: Marunouchi is a commercial district in Tokyo.)

I: Itaewon is better. There’s no such place in Roppongi. I’m not familiar with Roppongi though. It may have places like this, but it’s better to showcase the vibes of Korea. Itaewon is a place packed with foreigner. It’s a miscellaneous street. It’s close to Roppongi now that I’ve put it that way. But still…Those who subscribe to Netflix, I recommend you to watch Itaewon Class. They only shot scenes that were important, so it’s really easy to follow the story. Such a beautiful drama. There were quite a lot of cliché moments, but there were also some unexpected twists in those moments, so it pulled you in. Korean entertainment is far ahead.

*The assistant guy finally went to sleep.

I: Oh, you’re gonna sleep now? You definitely can’t oversleep. Don’t mention my name as well. Haha. Do your best as an assistant. Okay, after he left, everyone takes a screenshot. I’m gonna send it to his boss.

C: Sensei, do you read the manga “This is Good”?

I: I don’t. Is it an ecchi manga? Is it the one in Tonari Young Jump? Is it the one with beautiful drawing probably? I wanna try reading it. I need to cultivate (?) and boost the popularity of Tonari Young Jump. I’d like to take on that mission.

I: Has Mr. assistant slept already?

C: I won’t sleep then.

I: It’s okay 2x. Please sleep. Don’t worry 2x. Nothing’s gonna happen. If you’re worried, you can watch it later.

I: I just thought of the number 1 prank he shouldn’t do. I wanted to ask him to draw shit on the manuscript. I wanted him to leave my mark on the background. But that’s definitely a no-no. It’ll be a problem. However, that kind of assistants do exist. Not a lot, but there are assistants that play around.

Part 13

[catracorner962]

The Nine Lives of Catra Applesauce Meow Meow Ch. 7 Destiny Part 2

Ass fatally kicked by Hordak in Destiny Part 2

Warning for suicidal ideation

“AAAAAHHHH!!!!” A scream broke through Catra’s hardened resolve when she found herself being slammed back by the blast from Hordak’s cannon. Heat singed her fur, body arching through the air like a hapless rag doll.

Catra  twisted mid-air, arms and legs splayed out, claws instinctively flashing outward the second she connected with the ground.

“Ughhh,” her chest pinched, her words tight. “H...Hordak...whatever you’re doing….”

“I know about Entrapta,”

Fuck….

A cold numbness flooding through her body as Hordak loomed over her, his weapon aimed between her eyes.

You’re in too deep now. There’s still a chance….he could believe you.

Catra held her breath, right arm tingling in pain. Swollen and bleeding from a gash down to her elbow.

Must’ve broken it…

She held the limp limb at her side, left eye squeezing shut in pain.

“Entrapta…” she sucked a thin breath, throat caked with smoke, “was a traitor. What else is there to know?”

Hordak glared, red pupiless eyes teaming with bloodlust.

“I. Trusted. You!”

He seethed, voice breaking but for a moment. Any discernible amount of hurt was quickly laced with hatred. The cannon on his arm spun, whirling red energy all around it.

Well, who’s fault is that?

Catra gasped, flinging herself away from its' aim just in time. The blast of fire and smoke nearly caught her as she dashed down the hallway, faster on four limbs than two, despite the one that cracked in pain each time she attempted to move it. Catra grit her teeth, surging forward in any direction, anywhere away from Hordak’s relentless wrath.

“Your days we're numbered the moment you crossed me!” He shouted, the weapon already recharging.  Catra’s heart pummeled against her chest, each beat crushing. Still she fled.

You did it now you insolent child!

Did you really think you could lie forever? How long did you think you could keep this up?

No...I...took over the Horde...I did! I’ve been running things for awhile now I…

“Ahhhhhhaa!” Catra stumbled, agony in her side caused her to crumple momentarily. She glanced down, hissing at the thick red blood oozing from some unseen wound, through her clothes.

W….when did that ha...happen?

She tried to focus, eyes blinking slowly. She picked herself up, running with a limp now, through another set of doors. The fiery blast sent her forward, her back scalding in agony. The smell of burnt flesh and fur assaulted her nose. This time she tried to land on her feet, but missed, her broken arm hitting against the hard floor. She tilted her head just in time, the side of her mask taking the brunt of the impact.

Breathe….breathe...just stand. That’s it...go... She coached herself through each stab of pain, talked herself through every bruising breath. The same way she’d done as a young cadet when Shadow Weaver would beat her. Even when she’d past the point of fighting, she could endure. That was not nothing. That was what she was best at.

Look around….y...your i...in the B...black Garnet Chamber…

She blinked again, focussing on the fixed point of the large stone for a few dizzying minutes before it came into focus.

“And after I’m through,” Hordak’s estranged threat mounted louder with each step. “You can’t even begin to imagine the punishment’s Horde Prime will inflict upon you.”

Ha! No one’s better at punishing me than myself, she thought bitterly.

Catra ducked behind the massive stone, crouching in the shadows, pressing one hand to the wound at her side. Her fingers instantly growing slick and sticky with red.

“Oh because he’s going to swoop down and fix everything for you at any moment right?”

Fucking idiot...lazy creep! We don’t all have a big brother to come save us! You’re the worthless one! The one who needs saving!

“You’re lying to yourself now!”

Hordak spun, firing off another round from his cannon. Catra shrieked, adrenaline pushed her through the scalding pain, making her dash out of the room once more. Another blast, this one larger, knocked her from her feet, sending her soaring through the air in free fall off one of the Fright Zone’s main buildings. This time she channeled her misery, flipping, feet first, arms spread and stuck the landing.

“Uuuuhhhh, fuck...f...fuck,” Catra half crouched, half fell to all fours.

Run, run, run, just get out of here. GET OUT...go...go….go! She ran forward, towards the forge.

That will buy time, he’ll have to go around the longway.

Catra stopped, panting for breath, large pools of the molten rock below bubbling. The heat wafting towards her from below. She glanced up, towards the massive clawed machines.

I can make it….it’s just a...just a little higher than usual….th...that’s right...I can..d..do it. Even if I don’t...it doesn’t ma…

“Aaarrrhh!” Hordak’s ruefully cry echoed down the hall.

Now or never,

Catra steeled herself from the agony of it and crouched, aiming for her landing point. She pounced, holding her breath with panic before landing clumsily. She rolled, cursing as her arm and side split in agony.

“Ahhh...n...no..hmmmph…”

He’s….a failure! I should be the one Prime rewards! I’ve done more to crush the rebellion then Hordak ever has! Yeah….hahaha! She giggled, for a moment, then straightened, watching Hordak below who had now entered the forge searching for her.

“Why would Horde Prime care about you?” She held her arm tight for fear of crying out in discomfort. “You’re a defect!” She screamed, “a mistake!” He turned, looking up at her with unrivaled hate. “HAVEN’T YOU NOTICED I’M RUNNING THINGS HERE!”

“Argh!”

Beyond words, Hordak swung his cannon, firing another blast toward her. Catra’s heart caught in her throat, letting out a small exhausted gasp before jumping from the platform. She reached out, claws catching on the large suspension tubes. Giddy with wrath Catra somersaulted through the air,  towards Hordak. Coming down fast she seized the arm cannon in one claw, using it to gain purchase and momentum, striking out with her fist, slamming gloved knuckles into Hordak’s face. He groaned, head knocked back. She jumped off his chest and swung around, kicking one leg up and then bringing it down upon the weapon with such a force it split and shattered. Hordak reeled, eyes red and wild, intent to kill. Catra snarled, fangs bared. No matter how hard the Horde had tried to purge her of her more feline instincts, it was a part of her and in her fire tinged wrath Catra now hissed and clawed.

That will show him! Show all of them! He’s no match for me. He’s weak! A weak, lying, fool! He’s not worthy of anything! I’m the one who’s worthy! Ten times stronger than he is!

She landed on two feet again, just in time to jump and smash her foot into his side. Hordak screeched, stumbling backward. She smiled through her misery, watching him slip and slide across the metal floor. Catra huffed for air. Her back still radiated with raw agony, her flesh scrapped and bubbling, her fur burnt. The wound at her side now dripped onto the floor. Still, she stood tall, defiant. They always thought she was a nuisance, a trouble maker who wouldn’t go away. Indeed she was. She’d be a thorn in the side of the Horde until they were all destroyed.

“Now we can fin...finally end...end this! I didn’t need Entrapta, I didn’t need Adora or Scorpia! And….I...DON’T...NEED...YOU!”

Hordak made to regain his footing, but she didn’t let him. Catra lunged, claws out. She leapt on him, yanking out the first one's data crystal with a satisfying rip. Horak backpedaled and she kicked him again once more in the chest for good measure, standing back and watching him falter. He glared at her, clenching his fists. She only stood tall, masking the throbbing in her side

I win

She smiled, cathartic. Sweet dripping satisfaction, shallow but defiant spread across her face.

Let him try me.

Her ears twitched,

Something creaked above them, Catra’s eyes snapped up. Watching as one of the large beams above was pulled taunt and snapped, falling instantly, crushing Hordak where he stood. The whole floor vibrated, a plume of smoke enveloping her for a moment. When it cleared, Catra could only stare.

I...I did...it...I won….

Her arm ached with discomfort. Catra adjusted her footing, her vision beginning to darken.

I...won, I won...I won….

Whether she was trying to convince herself or relish in it. She did not know.

I won… I show them...it...it was worth it….no matter what. It was… I...I’ll…

“Hey Catra.”

That voice...no…

Catra stiffened. All fragile confidence diminished. She turned towards that voice. The wound in her side throbbing. Her vision continued to blur in and out. She stumbled forward, listless.

Blonde hair...red jacket…

NO!

“No! You...c..can’t do this!” Indignation swelled in her chest. “You can’t come in and take this from me now!”

“Woah!” Adora gaped, “I knew this would get a rise out of you but still! You really are obsessed aren’t you? Kitten.”

Double Trouble threw Adora’s head back in laughter. Catra watched, trembling. The rush of excitement and fueled drive to subdue Hordak now evaporated. Overcome by exhaustion.

“You know, it took me a while but I finally figured out your character.” They transformed once more, this time into Catra herself. She shivered, stomach threatening to wretch. Her arms and legs were so heavy….

“You try so hard to be the big, bad villain.” They circled her in her own form, leaning against her nonchalant. Catra flinched as her...Double Trouble’s tail flicked at her nose. “But your heart’s never been in it, has it?” They cocked a brow, inciting a weak fury in her.

“W...what are you…” her voice cracked, trying to keep her eyes open. “Stop! Stop it!’ In blind rage she lashed outward only for Double Trouble to catch her wrist tightly in their grip, pulling her inches from her own blue and yellow eyes.

“People have hurt you, haven’t they?”

Yes, a small childish voice whimpered.

Double Trouble pressed forward, even as they transformed. This time into Shadow Weaver’s omnipresent terrifying form.

“They didn’t believe in you,” that deep voice that had wormed its way into Catra’s soul and burrowed there now bit at her. Catra sniffed, her skin peeled and still radiated heat, each breeze sending searing pain across the bubbling wounds. Double Trouble did not relent, continuing to hold her grip tightly as they pressed forward. They transformed again, this time into Hordak.

“They didn’t trust you.”

Hordak…is he…

Catra tried to glance back over her shoulder to where the Horde Commander now lay but her head spun. She wrapped her free arm around herself, trying to cover her wound. Her knees now quaking.

P…...please...s...stop….stop it. P...please…

Hordak dissolved, changing back again into Adora. Those brilliant blue eyes, even when they weren't her own, starred into Catra cruelly. Double Trouble took her hand pressing it to the side of Adora’s cheek.

So soft….gentle...no NO! Stop it!

Catra let out a weak breath, with no strength to summon tears behind it.

Adora…

Resentment and rage and grief mixed in her stomach. Longing and loathing in equal measure, indistinguishable.

She let out a choking breath, blood sputtering onto her lips. With the last of her strength she wrenched herself free from Double Trouble’s grip, tipping backward onto the ground with a sickening thud, the breath snatched from her lungs.

She tried to get air, desperately, but the wound in her side still leaked. The burns on her back still fresh, each movement sending them splitting open. Her chest threatening to crack.

“But did you ever stop to think maybe they’re not the problem?” Double Trouble’s shadow enveloped her. Catra, heaved for air, trying to look at them with any shred of dignity she had left. They only frowned down at her, before transforming once more. This time she watched in abject horror as they grew larger in stature, shoulders spreading out, tail curling. The shadow overwhelming her now stretched.

No...please….

Scorpia.

If Catra had not already been dying. This sealed her fate for the seventh time. Scorpia’s ever kind, gentle face. A face she herself had brought to tears many times, those large forgiving eyes now sealed...not with contempt but with disappointment. And her words, her voice….

“It’s you. You drive them away, Wildcat.”

“W...why are you doing this?”

Catra begged, breathlessly. Her head was truly sinking now, barely able to  hear Double Trouble’s voice. How much blood had she lost? How deep had her burns gone?

“It’s for your own good darling,” Double Trouble crouched down, mercifully changing back to their own form. “We both know this was never what you really wanted.”

The only thing Catra wanted in this moment, she would get soon enough.

She groaned, glancing at the fingers that still pressed into her bloody wound. Vision clouding a final time, barely able to focus on the screen Double Trouble held before her.  

Tanks, bots, ships, troops, all of them destroyed. Brightmoon was nothing but defenseless. I failed after all.

“Y...you...be...betrayed me,” she gasped through bloody lips. Double Trouble only stood.

“It’s nothing personal darling. You knew how this ended.”

Whatever else Double Trouble meant to say was lost to the erratic beating of her heart. It’s frantic pumping noise rushing through her ears.

She knew the signs by now. Not too much longer…

Double Trouble crouched down before her once more, one long finger flicking her nose.

“End scene,” they pushed her nose and Catra teetered backward, watching them through the haze of her vision as they disappeared down the corridor. She managed to scoot herself backward, sitting up against one of the slabs of metal debris that had come crashing down. Several feet away, Hordak lay still under the rubble.

It’s better this way….Adora….why couldn’t you just stay? None of this would’ve happened if you just...if I had just…Scorpia...I never should’ve...and Shadow Weaver never believed in me. I was a fool to think she ever would. Hordak….Entrapta...i...it’s better like t...this….yeah…..b...better for e...everyone...

Thoughts sloughed together, her vision clouded, she leaned her head back against the hard metal, each breath catching. Catra folded her arms over her middle, trying to curl up, and close her eyes.

Please…..j...just let this be the last time… I don’t want to do this again...please just let me go. I don’t want to...I don’t want to get hurt again… that small girl inside her shriveled and not yet avenged pleaded.

But Catra rarely got what she wanted.

[s-oulpunk]

Alright I don’t have the time or brain capacity to write out an entire fic, but I’ve been thinking about Disney channel movie AUs and I need to write them out somehow.

First of all, Descendants.  A Descendants AU is NEEDED.

I know the obvious is to make Bill the prince/king.  To make Richie one of the Isle of the Lost kids.  But is that what we’re gonna do?  No.  Here’s what we’re gonna do instead:

Stan is the prince/king, and Richie is his best friend/right hand man.  Ben and Mike are also their friends, maybe Ben is the son of that one Dwarf (I can’t remember the character’s name sorryy).

Bill, Eddie, and Bev are the kids from Isle of the Lost.  It doesn’t particularly matter who their parents are, but Bill is the Mal character, Bev is Evie, and Eddie is a mix of Carlos and Jay.  Not literally bc they have different personalities, but, like, their places in the story.  Alright.  Hell yeah.  Now onto the actual story.

Stan spends a lot of time thinking about what he wants his first proclamation as king to be.  He talks to Richie, Ben, and Mike about his idea and, with a little bit of a push, he tells his parents he wants to invite some of the kids from Isle of the Lost to go to their school. (Which btw confused me abt the original movie.  Why is Ben king? He’s still in school. His dad isn’t sick. Who decided it was time for a 16 year old to be in charge of an entire kingdom?  Also where is the rest of the kingdom?  We only see the school.  Is the school the entire kingdom?  It doesn’t matter but those are my thoughts on the matter.)

Bill gets the invitation and, initially, wants to throw it away.  He doesn’t care, he likes his home.  It’s what he’s always known.  But Georgie practically begs him to go.  He’s more wide-eyed and naive than Bill is, so the idea of the great big world outside the island is so magical to Georgie.  Bill agrees to go, agreeing to write to Georgie everyday and promising to try and find a way to get him over too.

I don’t think either of Bill’s parents would care much about Fairy God Mother’s wand though, so either Eddie’s mom or Bev’s dad is the one to demand they steal it.  Eddie already has a different plot, so we’re going to say it’s Bev’s dad who wants the wand.  Sonia is lazy.  Alvin is power hungry.

Anyway, when they get there, Stan is there to greet them.  Bill and Stan see each other and are kinda like 👀 but then they just ignore that because feelings?? Who wants to think about that??  Stan’s still kind of wary of them, and Bill still thinks they’re all stuck up pricks.  So neither of them want to admit the other is cute.

Ben takes them to their rooms, and him and Bev are much more relaxed about realizing their feelings for each other.  They don’t act on it right away, but it doesn’t freak them out as much.  Bev makes Ben blush with her easy going nature, Ben makes Bev giddy with his natural kindness.  They can’t help but fall head over heels for each other.

But it’s Eddie who really lectures them on this.  His mom had instilled this fear inside him that these new people were going to hurt him. He desperately believes that a relationship with any of these people, that getting too settled, is going to hurt them. All he wants to do is help his friends get the wand and get out.

That is until he meets Richie.  They’re in PE when Mike’s dog manages to get away from his leash and, of course, chases after the one person TERRIFIED of dogs (AKA Eddie).  And Eddie, whose mother filled his head with stories about rabies and being torn limb from limb, fucking bolts.  Mike and Richie (who was in class with him) both try to find him.  Richie manages to find him first, hiding half up a tree as Mr Chips (that’s Mike’s dog’s name, right?) barks like a madman.  Richie manages to coax him down with the promise that Mr Chips won’t actually hurt him.  He does sniff him, but he quickly decides he’s not a threat and demands pets instead.  From then on, Richie and Eddie are inseparable.

Bev and Eddie are both making friends, so they’re starting to care less and less about stealing Fairy God Mother’s wand.  But Bill’s only worry is still finding a way to get Georgie off the island.  And as far as he knows, getting the wand will achieve that.  So he manages to convince Bev and Eddie to still go along with the plan, promising that if the villains do take over again, Ben and Richie won’t be in the line of fire.

Unfortunately, the only way they know to get the wand is to seduce Stan (because the wand will crown him king or something during coronation.  I forget why the wand is there.  But it is.  And if someone’s dating Stan, they get to stand right next to the wand.  Idk man.) Bev and Eddie beg Bill to do it, not wanting to risk their new romantic interests, and Bill pretends to throw a fit but he’s actually really glad it’s him.  He would definitely be low-key jealous if one of his friends got to date the unfairly pretty prince.

So they sneak Stan a love potion and everything’s going great except UH OH Stan’s actually really sweet?? And cute??  And he cares about what Bill has to say??  He spends hours reading Bill’s stories, doesn’t mind posing whenever Bill wants to sketch him (which is OBVIOUSLY just for show, he doesn’t actually wanna draw Stan hahaha😳), and never makes fun of Bill’s stutter.  He never even rolls his eyes or tells him to, “spit it out,” he just waits patiently with a soft smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes.

So Bill’s starting to feel more and more guilty, but he can’t look back now.  He PROMISED Georgie, and his brother’s more important than a cute boy.  Even if he is the cutest boy he has ever seen.

The day of the coronation, Bill slips Stan the cure to the love potion.  He isn’t truly cruel, he doesn’t want Stan to still be in love with him when the villains take over.  Because he is the prince and there’s no way Bill could protect him from their wrath.  He can deal with Stan hating him, even if it’ll shatter his heart into a million tiny pieces.

Except Stan doesn’t act any different.  At first Bill thinks that maybe it’s just because he doesn’t want to cause a scene in front of the crowd, but when they’re alone Stan kisses him softly and tells him how glad he is they met.

A part of Bill is ecstatic that Stan still likes him.  But another part of him can only feel crushing guilt.  Now Stan’s going to be heartbroken and there’s nothing Bill can do to stop it.

But he still grabs the wand, he still makes a show of breaking down the barrier.  He can see the light in Stan’s eyes crumble, and Bill wants to cry his, admittedly, too big heart out.  Bev and Eddie rush to help him, even though they’re facing their own moral dilemmas.

It’s not until the villains have already arrived and have everyone held hostage, that Stan finally breaks and asks WHY.  Why did he do it?  Why did he betray him?  When Bill tells him why, Stan’s just like, “You idiot, I could’ve done that.”

Now Bill feels like a real idiot.  And when he looks around, all he can see is the anger and fear he saw on the Isle of the Lost.  It’s exactly what he was trying to get Georgie away from, but now he’s made it worse.

So in a split second decision, he gathers Eddie and Bev and asks them to help him fix this.  It doesn’t take much convincing, they didn’t want to do it in the first place, and they manage to defeat the villains with the power of idk love and friendship or whatever.  Maybe the other Losers help too.

When it’s finally all done and over, Bill can’t think of any reason he wouldn’t be sent back.  He hands the wand back to Stan with his head hung low and a question on his lips.  Can Georgie take his place here?

Stan sighs heavily and tells Bill, yes, of course Georgie can come, but he needs time to think about what to do with Bill.  So Bill’s on house (or dorm, I guess) arrest for the next few days.  He hangs out with Eddie and Bev, and occasionally Ben, Richie, and Mike, but he doesn’t see Stan for nearly a week.  When he finally does, Stan greets him hesitantly, but reassures him that he’s not going to send him back.  Bill needs to do community service or whatever, but because he righted his wrongs, he can stay.

Bill’s fucking ecstatic, he leaps forward and wraps Stan in a hug.  Stan goes rigid at first, but it isn’t long before he melts into the embrace because he can’t deny that he had missed Bill as well.

It takes some time, but eventually Stan and Bill get back together (Georgie tries to help Bill woo Stan again) and they all live happily ever after and all that.

[purplesurveys]

962

Do you have a pair of Beat headphones? I used to have a pair. I mean it’s still around in my closet, but it’s completely broken now with the cable all given out and the cushion for the left ear has been missing for a while. I just don’t have the heart to throw it out because it was my absolute favorite pair of headphones that gave me good memories during a particularly shitty time in high school.

How was your week? A little better. I’ve gotten into the groove at work so I’m no longer shy when it comes to asking questions and giving inputs, and I’ve gained a better grasp of the workplace’s dynamic so it’s also been easier to communicate with people. Heavy life stuff is still around and it won’t be leaving for a while, but they were easier to ignore this week.

Are any of your electronics not working properly at the moment? Not really, but my phone’s charger cable recently stopped working. I have a backup that I’m using at the moment and while it’s able to charge my phone, it’s starting to fray and I’m not feeling too good about the wires that I’m starting to see hahaha. I just don’t know how to take care of my cables, guys. Anyway, this question made me paranoid so I took a few minutes to wrap a shit ton of electrical tape on the frayed area so I think it’s all good for now.

Are you excited to pick out your wedding dress one day? I like thinking about my wedding but I truthfully dread the wedding gown part. I’ve never been able to decide what look and style suits me best and I’ve just never been good at determining things like that. I like to imagine that I’d leave that bit to whoever my maid of honor will be, because I’d definitely prize a second opinion more than my own.

When was the last time you felt relieved? Yesterday, 6 PM when I exited the last Google Meet for the day. It was a Friday night and it meant my work week was over :)) I mean I love what I do, but Friday nights will always hit differently.

Does it bother you when an artist remakes a song that one has previously done? I wouldn’t say it bothers me but covers are definitely a hit or miss for me, with way more misses than hits. Nothing wrong with acts putting their own spin on an already existing song, but I’m personally the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” type when it comes to music.

What brand of chapstick do you use? I don’t use any mainly because I’m bound to lose them within a week. Same goes for other care products.

Do you really think someone could be perfect? No. Everyone has their flaws and that should be okay to acknowledge.

When was the last time you cried? Wednesday, I think. It’s been three days! I’d count that as an achievement. But idk, my sadness comes in waves so I shouldn’t be celebrating too early. I’m sure I’ll feel a pang soon and be crying again over the weekend.

What’s a food that you like every once in awhile but not often? Cake. Too sweet and rich; I wouldn’t enjoy eating it every day. What letter is the song you’re listening to under? Not listening to music, but I have a YouTube video on.

Would you rather visit the 60s or 70s? 60s would be the lesser evil, I guess. I would NOT want to live through Martial Law in the 70s...I originally wasn’t even going to go with 60s because I think the world was a bit chaotic at the time, but I think my country was mostly unaffected by the political/cultural things happening then so it’s whatever.

Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? I don’t actively seek them out but it feels nice when someone likes me enough to extend their arms out to me for a hug. I haven’t been hugged for a while and I feel kinda empty.

Do your socks say anything on them? I think some of my socks have the brand name on them but that’s it.

Name a TV channel that only has three letters in it. AMC.

Have you found out who your true friends are? For now, yes.

Gray or Grey? I use both spellings for no particular context. I simply like changing it up lol.

Will you be buying concert tickets any time soon? LOL of course not. And I’m very picky when it comes to concerts that I choose to attend anyway, so I doubt I would’ve bought any tickets in the last six months even without Covid unless it was for Paramore or Beyoncé.

Have you seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower? Did you like it? Nope, but everyone was hyping that movie up when it came out. It never really looked like my thing < Yeah pretty much. I feel like it’s such a teenage-y movie so I was never drawn to it. I also think it would be too triggering for my depression, so I’ve felt wary about checking both book and movie out.

Is there something you’d fall apart if you didn’t have? One of my biggest fears is to end up alone, so I always have to have some form of a support system to fall back into. I would be very lost if I didn’t have at least one person to rely on.

How many weddings have you been to? I can think of four off the top of my head. I was either a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid for all of those.

When you smile, are you confident? Most times I am; I like to smile. But sometimes I smile just to fake it and avoid any questions.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yesss, all the time. I’ve always been all about following the rules and I’ve never seen the appeal in breaking them. That makes me sound boring but at least I’ve never gotten in serious trouble lol.

Was the weather beautiful today? For me it is, but only because I like the rain and cloudy weather. Others might find it bleak and sad, but I feel right at home.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yeah, all year long.

Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? If I had my dream modern/brutalist home, grey would be soooo fucking perfect for the bedroom. 

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? I’m open to it, but I don’t think it’ll be a good match for my black hair as both are darker shades as it is. If I could dye my hair I’d pick lighter colors like green or even go all the way to blonde.

Have you ever gone to a private school? Yeah, from kindergarten all the way to high school. Private schools here typically give a better quality of education and they don’t give off the for-lazy-spoiled-kids vibe that I always hear from private schools in other countries, which makes them the norm for middle and upper-middle class families.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? I have other favorite animated movies, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Finding Nemo. :) I would always tune in for the whole thing if it were on.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? I had to wear one in my first school, but I didn’t need one for college.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? No TV where I am. I think my parents are watching a movie on their TV, but it’s on Netflix rather than a channel.

Does your house have security cameras? It does not.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? Eh, I guess it sounds fine but I’d rather have a pint of ice cream. I think that fits better with the weather and the mood that I’m in today.

What’s your favorite exercise workout? My weight training class last year was a lot of fun. I always felt dead after every session haha but I definitely felt healthier. I wish the semester had gone on longer just for that one class.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Lol I love doing many different things < Same lmao this question is so vague??? My favorite thing to do these days is binge-watch Rhett and Link content, but I like doing so many other things too.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? I was with Gabie that day and we went to a local art museum, as well as to a restaurant that she had wanted to take me to.

Does your local Walmart have benches in them to rest? We don’t have Walmarts.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never had stuffed animals. Well I was given a few of them as gifts, but I was never into them and they always ended up being owned by my sister.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not even think about it. Just show them that I couldn’t care less, lol.

Are you good at swimming? I can do a few strokes and am pretty good at treading, but I'm prone to panic-kicking when I can tell that the water is too deep.

What’s worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet is such a pain in the ass. Shouldn’t even have to be an issue in 2020 anymore.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? Cat-called, whistled at, winked at, lunged at. One good thing about this lockdown is that I haven’t had to deal with men as much as I used to. Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Well I only have one layer of bedsheet and it’s the one that covers up the mattress, so it’s tucked in by default. I have a blanket to cover me up when I’m cold.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? I find a few videos to watch as that tends to make me feel sleepy the quickest.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? I used to have a tumbler/water bottle in college but I forgot it at the gym one day and when I came back for it, somebody already stole it :( It was such a handy water bottle because it kept my water cold all day, so it sucks that I lost it. I’m planning to buy the same model again soon.

Are you afraid that one day you might get cancer? It doesn’t really run in my family save for one grand-aunt who had cancer, so I’m not too worried. But I’ve accepted the fact that it is at least a possibility.

Are you a fast or slow walker? I like being in the middle. Slow walkers are annoying so I try not to be one, and walking fast just reminds me of my mom and how quickly she walks at malls when she’s supposed to be spending time with her family lol.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No. They all fit me just fine.

Does it bother you when people’s underwear hangs out? Eghhh, it really does. I know it shouldn’t but it really does. I just feel like it’s so invasive and it gives me a lot of secondhand embarassment.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? Not really. I like staying safe with my hair. The most daring thing I’ve done with it is get bangs tbh, and I don’t plan on going any further than that.

When’s your birthday? April 21st.

What age do you look forward to reaching? I don’t feel that way about any age. Whenever I reach ultimate satisfaction and security will be a good enough age for me.

Name a state that begins with the letter M. Minnesota.

What’s the first thing you do after a car accident? Think about how to tell my parents. D:

What do you use to get rid of bad breath? Brush my teeth, drink water.

What exercise do you hate the most? Pull-ups.

What do you do at a party? Drink, socialize, tell stories, eat allllllll the food ha.

[smellycinnamonthundahfudge]

This or That Fic Game

I was tagged by @parallelmarvel thinks for thanking of me btwww :’>>>>

I wasnt sure what the mechanics were so i’ll just specify that what isn’t crossed out is the one i prefer cus i just think it’s clearer haha (i also changed the format to something nicer to my eyes, hope yalls dont mind haha)

slowburn or love at first sight (I’ve said before love at first sight is unrealistic and reserved for pretty people unless it’s a situation where you can glance the person’s personality from that first glance; but even then, establishing rapport relationship and history AALLL THEE WAYY)

fake dating or secret dating (why hide the relationshipp?? :<<< at least fake dating leads to some cute awkward crack bits hahaha)

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers (i love established history, what can i say?)

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence (i dont get the one bed trope as much tbh it’s a bit cute but dont get all the hype tbh hahaha and also long distance is sad and realistic and relatable haha yay)

hurt/comfort or amnesia (amnesia’s kinda a gimmick i think, hurt/comfort is so sad and sweet :<<<<)

fantasy au or modern au (reimagining normal characters in a fantasy setting just seems far fetched to me tbh. but when i see hiccstrid/aos/rebelcaptain in normal life, it’s so sweet yknow :’>>)

mutual pining or domestic bliss (mutual pining is frustrating and that’s kinda the basis of it’s appeal but domesticity hands down)

smut or fluff (both, both is good el dorado meme is right. i mean... how could you choose? right???)

canon-compliant or fix-it (i‘m just a rule following understanding to writers sucker like dat *shrugs nonchalantly* dunno what else to tell ya)

reincarnation or character death (why would you put them thru something like dat?? :<<<< at least reincarnation has that soulmates element going for it)

one-shot or multi chapter (ooofff dis was a tough one i gotta tell ya cus im such a lazy reader so one shots are easier but i gotta go multi chapter cus the emotional payoff is just so much better)

kid fic or road trip fic (I havent read a road trip fic actually but i think it’s still preferable to a kid fic cus good gods im basically still a kid myself haha so gods no kid fics arent that relatable to me haha)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage (as seung joon says, ya take all the fun out of it once u set a date/end point which i kinda agree with but the arranged thing can still be cute tho. accidental is just such a fun chaotic crack idea you cant not resist doing it haha)

high school romance or middle aged romance (like i said... basically still a kid myself. still think hs is a bit of fun)

time travel or isolated together (oof this was another tough one, i gotta tell you bcus i LOVE time travel. buutttt when it comes to ships... sweet alone time is sweet SWEET intimate alone time. LET’S ISOLATE DA FRUCKERS!!! xD xD)

neighbors or roommates (oof yeah i agree, neighbors leaves more to explore plus it’s just close enough to be cute yknow? roommates are cutting it a bit too close tbh)

sci-fi au or magic au (oof dis was a tough one cus im not particularly interested in either buttt i think sci-fi’s easier to process and make up than the blooby bloop blap of magical lore hahaha)

body swap or genderbend (i havent read any genderbend fics where both of them are bent tbh, only seen fanart of it and read a hc post where what if peter was penny so mj was still girl mj. and tbh i havent actually read any bodyswap fics either but i just absolutely adore kimi no nawa/your name which is a beautiful body swap love story so yes i still believe the trope has promise :’>>>)

angst or crack (crack first and THEN you go angst. use the crack to establish the relationship rapport dynamic and hit em in the gut with heartbreaking angst muwahahaha. they complement each other, see? like our fave grumpy grump and sunshiney one haha)

apocalyptic or mundane (already living in an apocalypse is an also pretty accurate reason for not choosing it hahaha cus i mean... y would u do dat to urself? right???)

yaaaayyy this was fuuunnn. im tagging @tare8chan @kanakalala458 @nicehandsfeet @oh-my-fancan @secretlifeofacloud @untitledandrandom and omg i dunno if u know me but i also rlly like ur works @seek-rest i dunno if uve been tagged in this already so sorrs if u have haha but if not and u wind up answerin Da Call well wow id be so honored haha <333

[yumeironogenesis]

[Drama CD] Re: Phantom of the Masquerade Part 3: Aristocrats’ Masquerade

Part 1 |  Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Hey guys! it’s been over a month, I know. I have no excuse, I was just a lazy ass. But hey, better late than never! This 16 minute monster is all under the cut!

Characters

Kyoya Asahina as Louis

Hinata Sakuragi as Hippolyte

Kaito Shindo as Gustav

Subaru Jougasaki as Rudolfus

Jin Amamiya as Clovis

Jin: One two three! One two three! From the tips of your feet, take it slow and steady… Yes, like that! Smoothly get into your rhythm.

Jin: Subaru! Softer!

Subaru: Ah yes! One two three! One two three!  Then naturally turn!!

Jin: *claps* Stop! Stop! Subaru, you’re spinning your partner too roughly. A man should escort his lady delicately.

Subaru: Urgh... I’m sorry.

Hinata: Subaru you’re hella struggling. You nailed it much better before. Forgot the basics already?

Kaito: At this rate it’s a brawny waltz. No elegance at all.

Iori: B-brawny waltz… Pft, hahaha…

Hinata: Oh, this is rare. Iorin’s snickering.

Kyoya: The previous number’s intense dance moves are probably still stuck in his body. Subaru’s vigorous emotions and movements are his appeal, but now it’s getting in the way. Subaru, you realize you’re putting too much strength in your movements, do you?

Subaru: Yes… It’s in my head but I just can’t grasp the trick to it.

Jin: Hm. You might just not be aware enough that you are leading a woman.

Subaru: Huh?

Jin: In the masquerade scene, you should be dancing like the heroine you are leading is on stage with you. Your movements now look like you’re only dancing by yourself.

Hinata: Hm… Ok, then how about actually dancing with someone? Sis is in the office sorting out documents, so… With Kaito?

Kaito: Ha?! Why me?

Hinata: Your Amaterasu! Your elegant kagura dance was legendary.

Kyoya: Yeah, he was awesome as Amaterasu.

Kaito: That’s a different story! I don’t want some muscle head dragging me down. Besides, kabuki is much more suited for this. *points at Iori* This dude’s been an oyama [1] this whole time!

Subaru: Yeah yeah! If Iori becomes my partner, I think I can learn the tricks!

Iori: Why me…

Subaru: Please Iori! I want to be able to dance properly! Ok? Please!

Iori: I guess, if you say so…

Subaru: Hell yeah! Thanks, Iori!

Hinata: Hehe! Despite all he says, Iori is super soft with Subaru, right?

Jin: Alright, let’s resume practice. Subaru, Iori, are you ready?

Subaru: Yeah!

Iori: Yes.

Jin: Ok then, from the top! One two three! One two three! One two three!

Subaru: One two three! One two three! Then naturally turn!!

Iori: Urgh..

Subaru: Ahhh! Sorry, Iori! I stepped on your foot!

Iori: Females and males have different strides. Instead of trying to perfect your own dancing, you should think about how to lead a woman to make it easier for her.

Subaru: Got it!

Jin: One two three! One two three! That’s right, Subaru! Just like that! One two three! One two three!

Jin: Ok, that’s it! Subaru, it seems you got that feeling back.

Subaru: Yep! I’m good now! *walks over to Iori* Thank you, Iori! It was so easy to get into my role. Your movements were so elegant… I knew it, Iori is amazing! I wonder if I can do it too?

Subaru: *glides across the floor* Kinda like this? Weeee…

Hinata: Hahaha! Subaru! Ain’t you just wriggling?

Kaito: What the hell is that? You’re looking more like a clay statue!

Subaru: Eh?! I only wanted to do it like Iori!!

Iori: Wait a moment. Is that what my dancing looked like to you?

Subaru: Huh?? Iori are you mad?

Iori: No, I’m not.

Subaru: Then why aren’t you looking me in the eyes? You’re always doing that “averting your gaze” thing-

Jin: Come on guys, stop fooling around and let’s continue practicing.

Kyoya: Partner, huh….

Sousei: Hm? Kyoya, is something wrong?

Kyoya: No… I thought, why don’t we act out the ball scene with Iori acting as the follow?

Iori: What?

Kyoya: Jin-nii said that we have to act out the ball scene as if we are leading a heroine, right? So I thought, if everyone could practice their line of sight and stride with a real partner, then it’d feel more natural.

Hinata: Ooh! Kyo-chin, good idea!!

Subaru: Yeah, I agree! Let’s do it!

Iori: Wait, then what about my own practice-

Kaito: Well, it’s a good way to learn the ropes.

Jin: Yeah, sounds interesting. Hina, can you get me the audio player?

Hinata: Yessir! *runs to get player*

Iori: Hey, listen to me-

Kyoya: Alright let’s review the scene.

Iori: *sighs in exasperation*

Kyoya: In a certain aristocrat’s mansion, a masquerade is held. The eyes of the ball’s participants were all fixed on one beautiful woman. She stole the heart of the mansion’s phantom. That suffocating love brought tragedy. Hinata, the BGM, please.

Hinata: Yessir! Tuning in!

*BGM plays*

Kyoya: The mansion’s door opens and the heroine enters. Alright, start from Clovis’s line.

Jin: Alright.

Clovis: Welcome to the masquerade! I am Clovis. I am the host. Is this your first time at a masquerade? Haha, don’t be so stiff. First, won’t you dance with me? I will dance my finest dance for you. *they dance*

Clovis: You’re doing great. It seems like you’re no longer nervous.

Gustav: “Clovis. Would you mind introducing me to this beautiful woman?”

Clovis: “Yes, of course. She is the young mistress of the Darchen family.”

Gustav: “Darchen family? I see. She has the eyes.”

Gustav: Young mistress, do you not like dancing? Would you fancy dancing to a song with me? Come here. *they dance* I’m sorry for the late introduction. I am Gustav of the Renier family. It seems I was right to come to tonight’s masquerade. To think I would be able to meet a fine lady such as you… Haha, your embarrassed face is cute. How about it? After the masquerade, just the two of us…

Hippolyte: Gustav! I didn’t think I’d see you again tonight. Can we talk for a while?

Gustav: Hippolyte! Can’t you see? I’m spending my time with this beautiful princess.

Hippolyte: Oh? Isn’t today’s princess different from yesterday’s? It’s just as the rumors say. You sure are a busy man.

Gustav: Yeah, well, not as busy as you, of course. Princess, it pains me, but I have to take my leave. If fate guides us, then we are sure to meet again. *walks away*

Hippolyte: H-hey! Gustav! Ah… He left. We were unable to talk again tonight…

Hippolyte: Ah, no, it’s not your fault. I just wanted to talk about our families. Besides, he isn’t the only [young master of] Renier. If I could just talk to Hughes. I’m sure… Ah, I’m sorry! It’s a masquerade but I’ve only been ignoring you. If you don’t mind, can I ask for this dance?” *song changes, they dance*

Hippolyte: There’s no need to be afraid. Just let your body and your mind go. You are very good at the waltz. If I could only let time pass as I dance with you…

Hippolyte: Isn’t that Hughes? Young mistress, I am sorry, I have business to take care off. Excuse me. *runs to Hughes*

Rudolfus: *approaches her* Young mistress, are you alone? If you’d like, would you dance with me? In truth, I haven’t found a dancing partner yet. *song changes* Hehe, this is my first time at a masquerade. It’s very interesting that we can’t see our partner’s face. Haha! I’m glad. What a waste of a perfect night it would’ve been if I couldn’t dance. Alright, lend me your hand. *they dance*

Rudolfus: It feels quite strange. Is it because of the mask? I wonder how you’re smiling right now? To think that a mask would vex me… If you would allow me this indulgence, I’d like to face you… without the masks.

Louis: *comes running* Rudolfus! So this where you were. There’s a little hiccup over the-

Louis: Oh? Who is this young mistress?

Rudolfus: Hey Louis! It seems this is also her first time at a masquerade.

Louis: *grabs her shoulders* Ah… So that’s how it is.

Rudolfus: Louis. What’s wrong?

Louis: I finally understand. This masquerade was held so that you and I could meet. Do you think I’m joking? Then, please look into my eyes. They say the eyes hold the truth. Even when covered by a mask, my feelings can never be hidden. The moment I saw you, you stole my heart.

Rudolfus: Louis… don’t tell me you…

Louis: That’s right, Rudolfus. She is my fated person.

Rudolfus: I… see… Then I shall leave you with my friend here. I’ll be taking my leave. *walks away*

Louis: I hope I didn’t make my best friend uncomfortable. [2] *song changes to Behind the Masquerade* Ah, the song changed. May I have this dance? Together with you, let’s dance as if in a dream. *they dance* I wish I could dance with you forever. May this song, may this day never end. I cannot help but hope.

Louis: Is something wrong? Huh? You see a figure in a black mantle through the window? Have you heard of the rumor? They say that a phantom haunts this mansion.

Louis: Ah, did I scare you? It’s just a rumor. If there were really a phantom, I will protect you. That’s why tonight, do not leave my side. I don’t want this sweet dream to end just yet.

Jin: *claps* Alright! That’s it!

Hinata: Wah! It was a piece of cake thanks to Iorin!

Subaru: I also felt like I could dance the way I wanted to!

Jin: Yeah, it wasn’t just Subaru, everyone was moving very naturally.

Kaito: Well, it doesn’t hurt to do things this way sometimes.

Kyoya: But, as expected of Iori. Even the intricate moves and expression were just like the heroine’s.

Iori: Yes. If I am to do something, I would not hold back, no matter the role. Are you satisfied? Then, let’s continue to my prac-

Sousei: Everyone! It’s time for the magazine interview. There’s a photoshoot too. Can we head out now?

Kyoya: Huh? It’s that late already? I’m sorry guys! I forgot!

Subaru: Wahhhh! Wait!! I’ll go change! I sweat a lot!

Hinata: I’ll go fix my hair, too! I can’t do a photoshoot looking like this!

Kaito: Aight, I’ll go take a shower.

Jin: Eh? I don’t think there’s enough time for that….

Sousei: Kyoya, did you forget about the interview? Didn’t I send you a reminder email yesterday?

Kyoya: Sorry! We got too into practicing with Iori’s follow…

Sousei: *sighs* I swear…

(in the background

Sousei: Kaito, where are you going?

Kaito: I said, I’m taking a shower.

Sousei: There’s no time for that! No time! No time!)

Iori: Hey… what about… my practice…..

Notes:

1) Oyama are men who play (most of the time almost exclusively) female roles in kabuki.

2) The original audio was 気を付けて, which means “to be careful/considerate”, in this case, of Louis’s feelings. Though uncomfortable is definitely not accurate, it means more like “holding back” in this case, but I couldn’t make it flow very well in English. Especially with the way Louis said it.

3)  Soooo there’s def something going on with Hippolyte and Gustav, I feel it in my bones.

4) I know for the dancing scene I have to imagine a girl dancing with them, but knowing it’s Iori I just-

Thank you for reading!

Buy me a coffee!

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Dudes and dudettes of tumblr (I love that i say this as if anyone actually reads my sad attempt at a blog... hahaha),

I have made my resolution for the year. Since I'm too broken to work (i.e. my body crapped out on me in 2016), I have determined that EVERY DAY i will read for at least 30 mins (which I've been doing with my tea at bedtime to signal my dumbshit body & fuckwit brain that it's time for the sleeps when the tea mug is emptied), I will sketch something every day, and will also work on another creative project (jewelry making, painting, making candles, messing with make up, embroidery, and so on) every day.

Once a month, I will accomplish one step in my mission to spruce up my space (living room, bedroom, or bathroom) to eventually get it the way I want it to be. I say once a month because I'm on disability so money is tight (and i don't mean tight as in super cool, although it is. I mean tight as in I have to make less than $1000 last a month).

These goals may seem silly or insignificant, but I've been kind of stagnant & lazy (and binging WAY too much garbage tv on Netflix & Hulu) since about November. I basically dropped all creative projects and let my physical issues overwhelm me and start to make me feel shitty about myself. And while i may physically feel shitty (which is unavoidable at this point), i don't want to feel mentally & emotionally shitty anymore. I don't like feeling as though i accomplish nothing 90% of my days, you know? So i set these goals so that i can have tangible proof that i accomplished SOMETHING, even if it is something small and seemingly insignificant or pointless.

I'm also tired of being unsatisfied on the whole with my space. I always have plans for decorating or fixing it up, but it seems i don't really take any steps forward on it. So, now's the time.

I am 100% about realistic goals and celebrating even the smallest victories. And even if I fall short (say I manage to sketch every day, but only work on other creative projects a couple times a week), i can still say i did my best. And honestly lately I've been a hypocrite because when my spawn stresses out over school or her grades i always tell her that if she did her best, then no matter what the grade says, she didn't fail. I haven't been holding myself to that standard. Yeah, my best is not anywhere near the same as it was, say... 1.5 yrs ago or even 6 months ago, but i still hold myself to that standard of what my best is and in doing so, I set myself up for failure every single time. So it's time to make realistic goals and celebrate all victories and achievements and stop holding myself to a standard of productivity that I can no longer live up to.

I will post updates here about what I'm reading (or rereading) & creating. The creation stuff will also go on my arts & crafts instagram. I'm starting next month probably because right now I'm down with a chest infection & need to grab a sketchbook since I'm lacking. I guess if anyone reads my drivel & wants the insta handle, let me know.

But I really doubt anyone reads this nonsense.

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster Part 1 - Chapter 1 & 2 on YRP’s Adventures

I still think that for all the dress spheres, only the main ones (including the songstress) had effort put into it because I remember the rest being pretty ugly lmao. . Anyway! Always happy to see Rikku. Not too fond of her costume since she’s barely wearing anything LOL, but I guess it suits her despite that. Leblanc the thief dancing in the form of Yuna is still weird lol, I know she took her garment grid but does that make her take on her face etc too?? Lol, I never understood that. I always find it so funny to go touch the crouched Yuna wearing the moogle costume to heal your HP/MP hahaha. I remember everything about the introduction so not much to say besides, I wonder when Yuna learnt to use a gun? Still think Yuna’s Gunner costume is like female Tidus, but I guess since the focus of FFX-2 is her seeing a sphere of Shuyin thinking it’s Tidus so she goes around looking for similar spheres to see if she can somehow find him again, it’s a very fitting costume haha. Brother learning their language to communicate better with Yuna is so cute. Anyway, let’s see if I enjoy FFX-2! I don’t remember much about it but I remember thinking it was okay…hahaha.

I still remember the running after and beating Leblanc to the top of the Mt Gagazet ruin in a limited amount of time! I remember thinking it was so annoying because I was so lost the first time I did it, and the timer being annoying didn’t help hahaha. Think I missed one item but whatever, I got there with like plenty of time to spare XD The most memorable optional visit is definitely the Luca one, I think it’s so funny to see Yuna’s perspective of the beginning, since she had to hide in a moogle costume whilst Rikku and Paine dealt with Leblanc the thief haha. Yuna’s so expressive in her moogle costume that it was pretty funny. Dona and Barthello in Luca are as meh as usual, never been fond of Dona haha. Running through Mi'ihen highroad was dangg tiring though, so many battles loll, the encounter rate is high. Oh well, I guess I learn my skills that way.

I remember visiting the Youth League headquarters and talking to Maechen, he gives a nice little background on what happened in these two years and how the Youth League came to be so it’s worth a listen even if it’s a bit long. Considering that Clasko enjoyed taking care of chocobos, I’m not sure why he’s playing tour guide here, at least he follows us along on the airship after? LOL when he asks if he can come along and the no option is “sorry loser”, so mean hahahaha. I also remember the mission at the Moonflow where you have to protect the hypello from bandits! I remember failing in the past hahahaah, I guess I’m better now since I did it on the first try?

Gippal was and will always be my favourite new guy in FFX-2, Nooj and Baralai have always been pretty meh to me. Gippal is funny, cool and pretty cute. I guess alike others, I would ship him with Rikku hahaha. As the leader of the machine faction, he’s doing a lot of good for Spira as well since he’s helping to improve their lives, such as fixing the lightning rods in the Thunder Plains so that we’ll never need to dodge lightning ever again hahaha! I still remember Macalania Woods very well because I really love how ethereal it all looks and since Tidus and Yuna had their scene here, it’s hard to not think it’s a beautiful place. So really, thinking about how the Fayth not being here anymore is causing the woods to slowly die is just so saddening. It only adds to the sadness to see the once proud Guado be left scattered everywhere, hiding in Macalania and other places after not being able to fend off the Ronsos that came for revenge. Considering how much the Guado did in support for Seymour, it’s difficult to not hate them, nevertheless it’s still sad though.

The Calm Lands seem even more vast now, so many mini games but yeah omg, that publicity campaign for one of the companies there, I remember that! I remember thinking it was so annoying lol. Had to track my footsteps and go back to all the places I went to, just to talk to all these people to get those publicity points zzzz. Argent it is btw! Seeing Kimahri as elder is really nice, too bad his job is difficult so it’s hard to get the approval of everyone there, but he’s trying so I’m happy. Wakka and Lulu expecting a baby is all I remember about Besaid haha. It was bad of Yuna to leave without telling anyone but I think it was the right choice, it was about time Yuna got the freedom she could never have and explore the world she saved. I remember silly Wakka hoping to find a sphere of his parents so that he could see how he should act as a father, but really, he just needs to act how he thinks he should and learn from there, no one knows how to be a parent from the start.

Lol, Yuna and them were so happy to steal that awesome sphere from both New Yevon and the Youth League and then felt bad so decided to return it to one of them? Okay lol. I’d definitely choose to give it back to the Youth League, so thankfully you have to choose them to get the 100% completion. I mean, New Yevon just continues to hide things all the time, like all these spheres etc, how do they want people to trust them? Well, Beclem (the guy that lets you play gunners gauntlet) is such an ass, no respect for the person that brought about the Eternal Calm, actually, he’s got no basic respect for even her as a person, zzzz. Otherwise, gunners gauntlet is a pretty fun game, I’m not bothered to get the points but it’s cool to shoot fiends with different bullets haha. Shelinda being a reporter now is very fascinating… Considering that she’s left the temples because she didn’t want to be ordered around like a slave anymore, why does she still wear her temple garments? Where’s her makeover lol. Seeing Calli (the girl that was excited for the Calm in FFX on the Mi'ihen highroad) was nice, just because it really shows that time has passed and people had the room to grow up doing what they want. Not sure if chocobo rights are best argued by saying we should get to ride them throughout the highroad since I feel like they should roam free but okay lol. At least the chocobo catching game was a bit fun, seeing it surrender was so cute but saddening lol.

If Yuna really joined the Youth League and got a Yunie Squad, that would be so funny loll. But really, as a high summoner and the person who brought the Calm, I’d agree that she should stay as neutral as possible but side more with the Youth League just because they really do have Spira’s best interests at heart. Not sure what Tobli’s concert is for but if I get the profits, sure thing! Easy way of earning 12,500 gil, yay! The data seller at Guadosalam is cool too! Got 70,000 gil for selling the data to the right person! Could have kept restarting to hopefully get the 100,000 gil but I was too lazy hahaha. As for the Thunder Plains mini games with calibrating the towers though? I hated that, I remember the pain so well lmao. I could only do 6 towers and gave up lolol. Could probably do 7 but if I can’t do all 10 to get the ribbon, why bother? Hahaha, sorry my reaction speed and hand eye coordination just isn’t that great lol. I also want to preserve my sanity. We even got Tobli the musicians at Macalania! Really, Tobli, what are you even doing lmao. Still sad to see them talk about how Macalania Woods is nearing its end since the Fayth are gone… Seriously though, everyone needs help lol, even Clasko deciding to open up a chocobo branch needs YRP to clean out the monster arena and catch chocobos for him lmao. I really wonder what Clasko really did as a soldier if he can’t even clean up some fiends though…🤔 Oh well, whatever, as long as he’s happy lol.

Alike Yuna, seeing Zanarkand as a tourist spot never sat well with me, so if pairing up monkeys can make them multiply and cause a monkey problem that will prevent people from coming, I guess it’s good? Lol, nah, I don’t like the idea of Zanarkand filled with monkeys either lmao, can’t they just label it as a historical site to be preserved? Sigh. Lmao at the way Yuna holds the monkey when you’re pairing them up though, it’s like the Lion King🤣🤣 Seeing that YRP quite blatantly stole the Leblanc syndicate uniforms (and spheres!) at every encounter, you’d think Ormi and Logos would strengthen their security on the premises but nope, YRP easily infiltrates! Also, kinda disappointed in Yuna dipping in the hot spring on Ronso sacred grounds, Kimahri trusted her to understand that so I didn’t think she’d be like the Leblanc goons and do such a thing as well, so yeah… Anyway, Leblanc is so smitten with Nooj, I wonder if he likes her at all? Are they together? That massage game was weird though lolll, I swear FFX-2 has the weirdest mini games to complete. How would I know which part Leblanc wants me to massage?!? Yes, I kept cracking her bones LOL. Anyway, just wanted to say that I’m glad I don’t write walkthroughs because I’ve been steamrolling through these boss battles so I don’t even know what they really do lmao. Paine as a Festivalist, Rikku as a Psychic and Yuna as a Songstress is the team I’ve been levelling and it easily deals with everything besides any instant kill moves lol.

Hmmm so there’s some sort of machina at the bottom of Bevelle called Vegnagun that could destroy all of Spira… Wouldn’t it suck if Yuna brought the Eternal Calm but then they all get killed by this machine? Lol. At least Nooj is aware and hopes to disassemble it before anything happens, guess Gippal might give him a hand? Not sure what Baralai’s objectives are right now though~ I see, so Baralai thinks that Vegnagun is too dangerous and shouldn’t be touched, so he’s stopping everyone from approaching, which is fair enough, what if it activates because you come close or whatever, very risky. Otherwise, underground Bevelle was pretty annoying with all the jumping, operating machines in different ways to get chests, kinda confusing but I guess it’s probably worth it? Lol, always good to get a ribbon! Anyway, fighting Dark Bahamut was kinda saddening, not the way we wanted Yuna to see aeons again, since it wanted to kill them etc. I wonder what happened to Vegnagun and Nooj and Baralai? Where did they all go?

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hi, Coonie. I am sorry that I wasn’t here for quite some time. I had a lot of self doubts about some choices I made in the past and how I should continue. Still haven’t that figured out but I don’t have that heavy feeling anymore. I wanted to send you an ask about the books recommendations but then I felt so bad and just didn’t do it. But know that I am okay and still here and gonna talk to you soon. I hope you are doing better after what happened with all the lost asks? - Peridot

GASPS

PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZOMG PERIDOT HEWWO

IT U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

klasjflkgjdklaLASJFGALKDJ ALKDJ ASLKGDJDLLKJDFLAKDGJALKDGJALKHJADLKGJDALHKADJH AFKGJAD LFKADJGKLADJGLAKGJADLGKADJ LKSDJ 

ZOMGZOMGZOMGOZMG KGJFKALDJGHFLKJ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just yesterday or the day before I was thinking a lot about you. I was wondering what you were doing, and I was about to yell into the dashboard “PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT WHERE UUUUUUUUUUU” hahaha. I CALLED YOU WITH MY MIND

Lemme add a keep reading real quick :3

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( ˙꒳​˙ )

*snuggles and pets you*

My dear friend. I’ve missed you a lot!! I could go on about it, but I think it’s not the moment for it. We should talk about you instead. Just know that it really made me and makes me so happy to see you around, and happy that I get to be answering to you. It feels like it’s been so long! 

HMMM, BUDDY!!!! ( ˙꒳​˙ )

Don’t worry about being absent for a while!! As I’ve told you before, you take as much time for yourself as you need, buddy. I’m going to be here when you’re back, and I don’t want you to be writing to me if you’d rather take time to yourself. I miss you when you’re not around but I’m happy and can wait however much I have to if you’re gone to treat to yourself, buddy. There’s nothing more important than that, okay? First you, then you, then everything and everyone else. But first and foremost, always, you. 

It’s okay to have been gone. I hope that the time you’ve been away has helped you to work on these things you’re dealing with and to come to terms with everything.

I was wondering why you were so quiet. A lot of self doubts of the past wasn’t something I wuold have expected, but it’s okay. Sometimes, things that we think are gone are still there and come back unexpectedly. It’s like when you bottle things up; putting things away in a bottle never works because they end up bursting out sooner or later, even when you’re not expecting it. And even when you think you let it all ou t of the bottle, sometimes a drop or two stayed behind, and they make it out when you least expect it.

Whatever the case, I think that what I mean to say is that everything has to come out sooner or later. So while unexpected, it’s not strange or weird that this suddenly happened to you. I’m sorry you had to deal with these things. Struggles of choices made in the past tend to be…the hardest. I don’t think they’re complicated, because sometimes the choices we made in the past were simple as themselves, or maybe they were big, but whatever the case, they already happened and nothing can change that, so it’s not “complicated” in the sense that…there’s literally nothing to do. But that’s exactly why they tend to be the hardest. So for that, I’m very sorry, dear Peridot.

I would tell you, dear friend, that the things that you made in the past stay there no matter what you do or how hard you think about them, so in the end, you’re just torturing yourself going back to those places, and hence, stop thinking about it because it fixes nothing. But the truth is that it’s not so simple. And sometimes, it’s even the correct thing, to look behind at the things you did. We can’t have a present without a past, so, when we’re lost, sometimes we don’t need to look ahead to look for the path we lost. Sometimes we need to look back, to make sense of how we got where we are, and being aware of where we are can tell us where to go. So yes, sometimes it’s good to look back.

This one, however, sounds like you were more in the scheme of self torture of remorse and guilt for things that were either beyond your control even back then, or that are simply left in the past. And that’s not as constructive or healthy. I don’t know how much you need a preach because you’re telling me that it’s nto weighing on you anymore, but I still feel some worry about it, because it’s so easy to be unable to difference the line between feeling bad about what I did but taking something good out of it, and looking back just to hurt myself with the bad things I did. It’s really difficult, and I don’t want you to be hurting yourself in such a way.

I won’t tell you that “it’s in the past, leave it there and move on”, dear Peridot, because I know it’s not that simple. I just want you to remember some things; remember that it’s okay to look back and feel ache, so long you don’t get to the point of self-torture for things taht are out of your control today. The things that were done, done they will stay. We can’t go back. We can only go forwards. It’s okay to ache about the things that you did in the past, so long you try to not cross that line between aching to be constructive and aching to ache. 

And most importantly, and what I want you to remember the most, dear Peridot: the you of the past is not the you of today. It used to be you, yes, but you are not who you were, as you are not who you will be. Don’t carry with the weight of the things that your past self did. It’s theirs. Not yours. And with this I don’t mean that just because it’s in the past, everyone is free to do as they please with no consequences, it’s not that. We all have to do something to fix or mend or at leats ask sorry for something wrong we did. But accepting to be the one to blame and do something for it is different than torturing yourself with the endless “why did I do/didn’t do that?” Remorse is natural, and okay, and even healthy to some point. But don’t let it consume you. Okay?

It’s also okay to not know yet how to continue, to not have that figured out yet. It’s as I was saying above about not knowing where the path ahead is. Before knowing where you’re going, you have to kno where you are right now. I think you’ve looked behind and dealed with it as you needed to and you now know where you are…but it doesn’t mean the path ahead will clear out immediately. It may take a while before you figure that out, but that’s okay. You’ve done the tough part already, all this looking back. Now it’s just patience, and being kind with yourself. You can do it, buddy. And you know I’m here cheering on you. You know where you are right now, and that’s much more valuable than knowing where you were or were you’ll be. smoochies for you :3

I’m glad to hear that you don’t have that heavy feeling anymore. As I said before, you probably didn’t ened any of that preaching above because if it’s not weighing on you, you’ve worked it yourself. I’m so proud of you, buddy. Please don’t ever again say sorry when you go quiet for a while, I know you’re working on yourself, and that makes me ecstatic of pride and joy. It can be quite a struggle to work on yourself without stressing about “I’m worrying others”, so that you’re doing that really makes me happy. No apologizing; you’re doing fantastic. I’m so happy you feel free from that weight, buddy. You’re doing phenomenal.

I’m also happy that you decided to not send the ask about the book recommendations. If you suddenly felt bad, it was best that you didn’t do it. As I said before, first you, then you, then everything and everyone else, me included. I’m happy that you decided to write to me some other time and take that moment to yourself. I get the struggle of “I want to write to this person, but I’m really not feeling like it”, for whatever it may be; laziness, sadness, or this sudden overwhelming load that got to you. It’s okay.

Thank you for thinking about yourself first, Peridot. Even if you think you did it out of suddenly feeling unable to rather than choosing it, you still cose to not force yourself to write to me despite the way you were feeling, and that’s an a chievement too. I’ll be here whenever you write, but mental health can’t wait. I’m happy for you, buddy :3

I’m happy to know that you’re still around and that we’ll be talking again soon!! You take the time you need; as you know, I’ll be around for whenever you want to write to me. Thank you for coming back, and for considering to write soon!! 

Aaah, and yes, I’m doing better about the asks I lost! I had a big moment of struggle with guilt and self disappointment and other things, but it’s okay. People were kind and understanding and helped me a lot to handle those feelings and not torture myself. I’m still a little sad that the people that dropped the asks are not around (or just decided to not tell me) and frustrated that even when I answer, they won’t see it, but I’m more resigned to it, you know? Can’t change what happened, and I can’t torture myself on it. 

But yes, I’m okay! Tired every now and then, but the normal stuff. Thank you immensely and wholeheartedly for asking and for worrying, buddy. :3

DEAR PERIDOT

I hope you’ve been having a FANTASTIC day, buddy. Thank you for treating to yourself when you needed it, for taking your time off, and thank you for writing to me. Thank you for sharing with me what happened, and thank you for asking about me too. Thank you for everything, buddy. As always, hearing from you and answeing to you is my joy and honor. Thank you

Sending you lots of raccoonie hugs!!! (ɔˆ⌣(ˆ⌣ˆc)❤

[stupidpianist]

12 november 2018

13:22: Sitting in music library right now, trying to “brainstorm,” trying to “keep things fresh,” or something. Nearing 50,000 words on this project, and feeling like I need to do something with it in order to keep it from “going stale,” not on the level of y’all the readers, but even for, like, myself, doing this, I think. Not that I’m having a bad time doing this, or that I’m starting to get bored with it, or anything, the only reason I didn’t update the liveblog for the past three days were personal matters that kept me occupied for most of each day, so, like, it was practicality, not lack of interest that “kept me at bay.” At the same time I never like just continuing to do something the same way just because it’s what you used to do, and I’m having, like, an itching feeling about the liveblog, like, “gotta do something new with it, gotta ‘switch it up’ a bit.” It’s naturally evolved, I know, in terms of the structure and the tone and the prose since first starting, which is good, I like the natural progression of it, but I want to play with it a bit, like, push the form “to its limits,” or something. I feel silly writing that, hahahah.

Really dislike days when I “don’t update” the liveblog, even if it’s for valid reasons, still feels like I need to have some kind of “plan of action” in case that happens. Consistency seems like a prerequisite, or else liveblogging as a form loses meaning/power/effectiveness?? Crap now I’m going off on a liveblog theory tangent, theorizing, I’m theorizing, folks, like a big giant moron. Let me try to parse this out, let me try to, uh, “illustrate in text” where I think I can start bending the form:

-Have been doing timestamps to-the-minute as a way of structuring the blog, with, sometimes, “mega updates” that are more cohesive paragraphs, foregoing timestamps, when I’ve been lazy/unable to jot time down on phone note, or when unable to get to a computer to update blog for long periods

-Enjoy this notion of the timestamp, gives the whole thing a “real” feeling to it, knowing, exactly, what the person is doing, and when, but need to find a way to make it more precise??

-Maybe make a private Twitter or Mastodon account and post what I’m doing, that way Twitter/Mastodon can automatically log the timestamp and I don’t have to keep adding it into my phone’s note document, and I can, “with ease,” log things with a more exact level of detail?

-This doesn’t really change the form, or anything, of what I’m doing, though, want to incorporate something “new and exciting” so I’m not just going off of what I’ve grown comfortable with, need to keep “pushing myself”

-Okay think, George, think, what would be challenging, now that you’re used to logging each minute of being awake, what would make it harder, like, leveling up, the next stage in the game, the next boss hehe

Oh wait I think I know, think I have something for you, let me “serve you up” with this, let me “butter your bread,” guys. Boy George has got something, you remember MySpace, when you could do things like “listening to” and put music?? Okay so here’s my idea, I think it’ll be mutually fun to read and to write, I’m gonna write a paragraph or so about the music album/song/thing that I’m most listening to during each day, since this usually changes by day, and also because I’m listening to music for most of the time that I’m conscious. Actually, wait, wait, let’s calculate, let’s do some calculations:

-awake for, like, 16 hours each day? -subtract ~2 hours lectures per day -subtract ~4-5 hours piano practice per day ~subtract any time i’m with people i like, unsure what this metric is, heavily depends on day

Okay for like 9/16 of the hours that I’m conscious I’m going to be listening to music, and I have, like, a LOT to say about music, like obnoxiously so. So this is good, I can include an insertion about the day’s “soundtrack,” OH OH THAT’S GREAT okay that’s what I’m going to call it, I’m going to call this section “Soundtrack of the Day” hahaha, okay, nice, nice. Will do this section later today, needs to be “late enough in the day” where I really know what the soundtrack that fits my mood of the day is. That way the Soundtrack of the Day can give insight into how I’m doing, and it can also just be fun to write about music in itself. Also going to do that timestamp thing with a private Mastodon/Twitter account that only I can access so that it’s a lot easier to quickly input what I’m doing and have it automatically timestamped, been thinking about doing this for weeks now but never “implemented” it.

Okay, okay, there’s the Liveblog 2.0 update, we are now on phase two of liveblog, folks, here are the “patch notes”:

-fixed timestamp logging system, switching from google keep to mastodon

-added “soundtrack of the day” section, should provide further insight into each day’s liveblog, should also be fun to read from a musically critical perspective

-additional resources added towards maintaining liveblog, even minimally, on days when time constraints make longer updating practically impossible; new timestamp logging system should aid in this, as i can just mirror all the tweets/toots onto liveblog without elaboration, but at least they’ll be there

Sick it’s 13:44 now, I’m going to head up to the practice rooms and “see what I can do” for a bit. Oh crap, I almost forgot, hahaahah, here’s what I did today: -woke at 11h right before needing to run out of door for piano pedagogy class -hurriedly brushed, didn’t do hair, threw on clothes, ran out door -stopped for organic low-sugar energy drink, 100mg caffeine, en route to campus -went to class -went to tim hortons, got jelly donut, large coffee with one milk -brought tim hortons to music library

Fairly straightforward day so far, I’m still not sure, exactly, where my mood is, but I’m feeling well re: liveblog 2.0 changes. Don’t know if there are enough changes to constitute marking this as, like, a completely new version, instead of just a point release, but whatever I’m not about to fricken start labeling liveblog updates/“patches,” like, 1.2 or 1.02, just sticking with whole numbers lmao.

Also don’t have too much of a plan today, my obligations today are “scarce,” there are not many of them, no, not many at all, nope. Will practice and “see where my heart leads me,” I think, yeah. Feeling very “neutral” today, feeling like a murky, amorphous, grey sac.