#but I’m serious!! I want to know y’all’s heartbreaks

[skoulsons]

rb and tell me what character death hurt you the most

[ladyelissarose]

Can you do like Hobie smut, your writing is GOOD.

Let it be a jealousy kinda thing I haven't seen much of Hobie being jealous

‘I’ll Show You Jealous’

Hobie Brown aka Spider-Punk x female spider-woman reader. (he calls her ‘webs’)

Trope; best friends to lovers

Warnings; 18+ Smut! NSFW. Jealous sex, it starts quite rough then ends soft. Hobie being Hobie- but jealous ;) slight fingering.. mostly smut y’all .

Summary: Being best friends shouldn’t have any feelings in between right? Especially jealousy when Hobie thinks your hanging around too close to a certain Spider-Man? What does it take for him to come to terms on how he ‘really’ feels?

Authors note; My favorite anon!! I’m sorry it took me a few days to get this out, but I’m glad to say it’s all yours now! I hope you like it, I’ve never written for Hobie before!! Enjoy love!!🫶🏼🌻

“You see? That’s why I think you’re one of the funniest! You’re hilarious and you get my humor!”

An effortless chuckle left your lips as your hand slipped off of Ben Riley’s back, where it had been first when you patted it.

You two had just come back from a short mission, which was as per usual… putting an anomaly where it belonged, and making sure canon took place as it should. Hobie stood in the distance watching you both communicate so freely and happily, like if you had been best friends, like you were with Hobie. I mean, that’s all you too should of been.. best friends.

But in the pit of his stomach and behind his tough and sarcastic behavior about not liking commitment, all he wanted to do was commit his life to you, and make you more than his ‘best friend’. The only thing was.. he didn’t know how to tell or show you. So painfully he witnessed you give away your laughter and touch to someone else, if not others that weren’t him. So to avoid staring at this heartbreak, he went back to his universe.

Soon you had let Ben go and looked for the one that made you smile the biggest, warm your heart, and give you a certainty of safety and care no matter what crazy shit you two did. But, he was no where to be seen. A frown made it to your lips after you had checked everywhere, you even went up to Miguel’s lair to check if Hobie wasn’t lurking around and stealing his lunch- and yet, he wasn’t there. You sat for a minute and thought that maybe he went home, but… he always waited for you to come back from a mission, so you could eat together and go on a short ‘joy swinging’ across the universes.

Hoping you’d find him at his universe, you clicked on your gizmo and went to his place, falling in love with the aesthetic of it all as you arrived, and it reminding you of every detail about Hobie too. You swung around his home- he wasn’t there. At his favorite hideout clubhouse- he wasn’t there. Even stopped by the stand where he usually took a sweet bread or two without being seen- he wasn’t in sight. Finally stopping to take a break, you thought for a few seconds before it clicked for you.

“What the hell… where could you- oh! I know.”

What concerned you though about the place where he could possibly be, was the fact that you told each other that you’d go there if something was wrong or ‘a talk’ needed to happen, meaning it was very serious.

Upon arriving to the tallest skyscraper in your universe, you let out a sigh of relief as you found him there, playing a soft tune on his guitar.

You walked slowly towards him, knowing he’d feel your presence, as his spider senses would tell him immediately. You slid off your mask as you called out,

“Hobie?-“

Hobie’s shoulders tensed as he muttered immediately,

“Jus’ leave me be… please?”

Worry but you as you heard him, his slightly broken voice,

He’s never told you to leave him alone, instead the opposite, always subtly begging you to be around his presence, whether it was him lurking around with your favorite snack, or playing your favorite songs on his guitar. Hobie was smart, he found out ways to keep you around that didn’t include him actually telling or asking you to be… and so far it has worked like magic.

It was your smile that had him loosening up, the little squeals you let out when Mayday was being extra adorable, puppy eyes at the sight of kittens or his favorite of all time, your mere presence that gave him motive to fall for you.

With you he felt free and safe, he knew he’d give up an entire universe if that meant he could be with you. But lately as you’ve been given more privileges, you’ve been a little too absent for his liking, and he didn’t appreciate how you were hanging around Miguel and Ben Riley more than him.

Trust was something you too have built quite strongly sense the start of your friendship, and he should’ve confided in that trust and believe that you haven’t ghosted him for someone else… yet here he was… sadly plucking on his guitar strings to your favorite tune- ‘Vigilante Shit’… thinking that maybe you have.. but here you are. Speaking out to him as if you were desperate for him.

“Hobie please, I can help-“

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

With a scoff you recalled your guys’ words,

“We said we’d come here for something important.. and today I couldn’t find you anywhere.. so I thought this would be the place.. and here you are. So, what’s wrong Hobie?”

He then stood up and mumbled to himself,

“It’s nothing, I shouldn’t of come.”

Your spider senses heard him clearly tho, so before he was about to walk off you genuinely said,

“Hobie.. you know I’m here for you. Regardless of what it is.”

Hobie turned to you and walked close, watching how you didn’t walk back but stayed in place as his sassed,

“Are you sure? Didn’t think you’d be after being with everyone else all the time.”

You sensed his words, and could feel the weight of jealousy in them, it only caused you to realize that he felt just as protective of you, as you did for him… but you hid your jealousy better. So you took the chance to tease him,

“Are you jealous Hobie Brown-“

Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms he pouted defensively,

“No. Absolutely not-“

You tried to tease him more as you pushed the guitar on his shoulder,

“Then what’s wrong? Looks like you are jealous-“

He sent a playful snap at you so you wouldn’t touch his treasure as he did his best to reassure,

“Tis’ nothin’ webs… I promise.”

His closed off attitude told you it was more than nothing, and you wouldn’t have it.. not his half or full lies about what’s going on. Hobie was about to walk away past you, but you grabbed his arm and insisted,

“Hobie! If you don’t do or say something about what’s going on with you I will explo- MMPH!!”

His warm hands got a hold of your face, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips. Eyes going wide open at the shock his actions caused you, but you couldn’t pull yourself away.

Not when you could see the way he had his shut with force, and the how his long lashes that you were always jealous of brush over his cheeks… you couldn’t deny how much you loved every detail about him. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of the cool of his nose ring press up against your nose, and his soft breathing hitting you, his lip ring marking a place on your lip as he gave you a bruising kiss.

You didn’t realize how long it took you admiring what you’ve always loved about him before you reciprocated the kiss, brining him closer to you by the collar of his jacket. But he slightly pushed you away, and before you could interpret something wrong, he muttered against your lips,

“you think I’m jealous webs?”

With a short chuckle you replied with sass,

“I think you’re very jealous Hobie.”

He smirked and webbed you your hands in an instant, your eyes found his with matching glares, filled with desire. He then put you to lay on the edge of the building, your head leaning off as he growled,

“I’ll show you jealous.”

With expert hands he was able to find your hidden zipper and slide down your pants along with your panties, enough to free your cunt for him to touch. Your hands as they were webbed up, hung off the edge, dangling down, stretching you a bit. Hobie pulled you close to him by gripping your thighs tightly, then he tore the web off your wrists with the pick for his guitar.

You were just about to reach for him, but he pushed you back once again, and laying his pick between your teeth as he ordered,

“Love, you keep that there safe for me.. and these hands.. hold onto the edge… don’t touch me until I tell you.. understood?”

You nodded once, taking all his commands in, wanting to meet them all, but Hobie hovered his face over yours and asked calmly,

“Words love.. do you feel ok and safe?”

You knew if you had a problem with something he’d adjust the universe to your liking, but right now you felt good and desperation. So you worded with the pick in between,

“I feel goo’.. I just wan’ you… I nee’ you.”

Pressing a hard kiss to your lips, feeling his favorite metal pick touch him, it stirred him on to take you now. His fingers found your cunt and stuck two in, going knuckle deep as your were soaking and taking him smoothly. With pride he watched your face contort in pleasure, the most beautiful moans leaving your lips because of him.

Your chest heaved for air as he pumped harder and faster, wanting you to come apart by his hands. The beauty of the city lights below you couldn’t compare to you, you were far too bright and gorgeous, so many things at once you were and yet, you were the most fit and complete person he had ever seen.

Your walls squeezed around his fingers, informing him you were near as your moans turned into cries as well. He teased you a bit as he slowed the pace, hearing you cry for ‘him’ had him groan and feeling his pants tighten more.

“H-Hobie! Ah please! Please-“

“What do you want love-“

“More! More please..”

Your eyes teared up as you cried for him, wanting to feel more of him as he had spurred on your high then took it away. He sucked on his fingers, letting out a moan,

“Sweet as always love.. never doubted you..”

Hobie then kissed your face, letting you taste yourself on him as he took the pick from your lips and he unbuckled his pants, sliding them down as he worded to you,

“C’mere love.”

Latching onto him as your arms wrapped around him, he pulled you up into his lap, sitting where you were at the edge, while looking up to you as your face was almost right at his. You both were breathing hard as you ran your hands through his hair and rested the other on his neck, Hobie’s hands exploring your back and thighs while kissing your neck. It was an all new sensation you both felt, not wanting to end it and growing addicted by the second. Hobie’s cock rested between your thighs, hitting his stomach and leaking precum, it had you reaching for it and playing with the red tip. He pulled you in for a kiss as you began to take him into your hands. His hips bucked up as your hands slid up and down his large length, spreading his cum and rubbing the tip with your thumb. He was getting to his high not so slowly, your hands bringing him on faster than he thought, so he abruptly stopped you with a pleading voice,

“Please love, need to feel you.. ready?”

You were already lifting your hips over his tip as you responded,

“I’m so ready.”

It wasn’t long before you slid down on him, your soaked walls taking him in right away. Once he bottomed out you both knew deep down, that you wouldn’t last long.

He was so deep, his tip touching your cervix, Hobie picked you up as he gripped your thighs tightly, then he slid you back down, groaning into your lips at the pleasure he instantly felt. Hobie didn’t care and wasn’t afraid of the position he was in, as he sat at the edge of the skyscraper, with you in his lap taking all of him. He confided in his strength to withhold you, and make you feel good more than anything. You than began to bounce on his cock, letting out whimper’s and mewls when you slid back down, feeling the stretch overtake you. Hobie helped you speed up as he took control and moved his hips to meet you at every thrust. Warmth began to seep into your core again, but burning more this time. You pulled Hobie closer to you as you begged,

“I need you more- please!”

“I know my love.. me too.”

Hobie needed the same, and fully take control, so he changed positions and laid you on your back, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his hands as they were above your head, and took a deep breath as you prepared for what came. With locked gazes, Hobie pulled back and thrusted into you right away, loving how you responded to him so well by clenching around him and moaning his name. Little by little he picked up his speed, knowing you both needed your much needed release, warmth engulfing you both as well as a passion for more.

Hobie railed into you now as he asked in between pants,

“Who do you belong to love?”

Breathing out a moan when he hit a particular spot, you cried out,

“Y-You! You Hobie!!”

Letting go of your hand to hold your hips down with extra force, Hobie punctuated each word with a harsh thrust,

“You. Sure. Love?”

Hitting your cervix every time had your toes curling and backs arching to him while you whimpered,

“Yes!! I’m yours Hobie Brown!!”

You could feel him throb inside of your walls, as you clenched around him, nearing your release. Hobie could feel the release nearing too, your warm walls taking him in and milking his precum into you. Now all he desired in that moment was for you to let go for him, and only him. Increasing his speed and piercing his grip into you, Hobie demanded with a sweet but firm tone,

“Beg for me love.. t-tell me who it is that is making you co-come.”

Doing his best to hold on a bit longer, Hobie awaited your answer, pleading from his heart that it’d be soon as he wished to claim you already and paint your walls with him. You clawed his back and pulled him closer, kissing his earlobe you then panted and moaned into his ear,

“Only you can Hobie.. please- ahh! Make me come- please please Hobie!”

His jealousy for you along with a new unlocked sensation… possessiveness, had him wanting to here you beg more.

“Beg me to make you come-“

He then lowered his hand to your clit, and began to rub tight circles around your bud, urging you to cry out in a desperate tone, tears evident that you were desperate.

“-AHH!! Oh Hobie! Please- please baby make me cum! Only y-you can!! So p-please!!”

Letting out a deep breath Hobie moaned into your hair,

“Come my love, come wi’ me.”

Feeling him pulsate along with his sharp thrusts, had you coming undone under his arms, coating his cock with your juices. Hobie brought you in for a deep kiss when he came, swallowing yours and his moans as he then slowly rode out both of your highs, wanting it to last a little longer. He was the opposite from how he started, which was rough… but now he gave gentle strokes, only pulling away when you told him it was too sensitive now. You were both out of breath and pulling away at once to catch some air, your chests touching from how close you were but also how much air you were taking in. Hobie gave your forehead a short but meaningful kiss before pulling away, but instead you pulled him in for a hug, hiding your face in his neck as you reassured him,

“I’ll only and always be yours Hobie Brown.. I promise.”

Hobie squeezed you tight and was grateful for your embrace, and he ran his fingers through your hair, as he returned the promise,

“I’ll be yours too love.. forever.”

Your eyes twinkled, as he confessed,

“I’m sorry I never made it clear webs.. but I do love you… very much so.”

With a soft peck you replied,

“I love you too… I always have Hobie.”

In a silence you too held each other, satisfied with your actions, more in love and thriving for more days like this to come.

Maybe this love making session was unexpected and out of the blue for the both of you, but it felt so right, and so good. A little breeze of wind then brushed by, causing you to shiver a bit in Hobie’s arms, a second didn’t go by when he suggested,

“Let’s get us home yeah? Don’ want ya to get cold lovie…”

Carefully he helped you put back on your suit, being extra touchy but extremely gentle as he zipped you up (but he didn’t do this before taking a look at your- his cunt now dripping from his cum.

Soon you too helped Hobie with his pants, and getting his guitar safely back into his hold. Both slipping on your masks, you were ready to swing home, but your legs were a little to wobbly for your liking. Hobie caught the slight stumble before holding you up and telling you,

“I’ll carry you home.. on my back lovie.”

With you tightly secured around him, he took off and swung towards home, going through the city so you could have the last look of the city night lights… as he knew it was one of your favorite parts of being Spider-Woman. Efficiently he swung by a stand full of flowers, plucking one off and easily giving it to you, a smile made it to your face as the rose was given to you with a brush of his hands touching yours. You blushed hard like if it was the first time he touched you, and hadn’t just made love to you on the tallest building of your city.

You never felt fear as you embraced him with the rose in your hand tightly. You trusted Hobie’s skills as you had seen them be incredibly strong and capable of much, while swinging he’d collect something he’d like and hand it to you.. so far you have 3 different flowers and a lollipop. Hobie had sticky fingers.. but you didn’t mind it, he wasn’t selfish with his findings.

It didn’t take long when you finally arrived at your balcony, he made sure your feet were flat on the ground before letting you go. Walking into your dark home didn’t feel lonely and filled with void like before, now you held Hobie’s hand tight as you led him to your room, wordlessly telling him you really wanted him to stay the night, if not forever. You both jumped into the shower wanting it to be quick, your night having been long and you both were craving to lay down in one another’s arms. Hobie’s hands never left your body as he helped you scrub down, he never looked at you like you’re a piece of meat.. but as if you were such a treasure to behold. It didn’t matter about your battle scars or the shape of you, he was now addicted and more in love. You treated Hobie the same way, wanting to show him that you indeed wanted him and him only, asking him questions about how he does his hair and wanting to memorize his steps to keep his styled hair in tact (as you loved how his hair looked) Drying off in fluffy towels, and sharing the air-blow dryer, you too were soon ready for bed. Hobie lifted you up from the thighs and carried you in, laying you down gently and pecking your lips all so romantically, before plopping himself on top of you. A breathy groan left your lips as he cuddled into your stomach, acting innocent and slightly ignoring how he had dropped onto you. He made sure he was in a good spot, not wanting his hair to be in your face, but close enough where you can rub his head. Soft kisses were given on your tummy as he worded again and again, softly yet possessively,

“You’re mine.. all mine. This body, your heart… you. Right baby?”

You could never say no.

“Yes baby.. all yours.. all of me.”

He smiled to himself as he lastly cooed,

“I love you..”

His chest warmed up as he heard your reply,

“I love you more..”

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Harlow Sister Instagram AU

A/N : I don’t know how to feel about this one but it’s been sitting in my drafts so enjoy.

Liked by yourusername, cozane, jackharlow, and 7,986,345 others

urbanwyatt I just “pranked” my girl and I might need a place to sleep at.

View all 1,200 comments

jackharlow The face of realization that you fucked up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

claybornharlow Oh god, what did you do now?

urbanwyatt I sang some of the songs she usually listens to when she’s drinking or cleaning.

yourusername Now don’t make me out to be crazy. You were singing those songs for a lost love or something because they most definitely weren’t for me.

urbanwyatt Wait then why do YOU sing them with so much passion? WHO ARE YOU MISSING?????

jackharlow 💀 ohhhh How the roles have been reversed

yourusername Jack shut up 🙄

druski Answer the man baby Harlow, what love got away that you sing them songs with so much heartbreak?

yourusername I’m not even mad anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ so why are we discussing this subject???

urbanwyatt 🙄

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, pesopluma, jackharlow, cozane, selenosunni, and 8,667,345 others

yourusername When you overhear your boyfriend tell his boys he used to love blonde hair on girls, I said bet🥴🫡

View all 1,300 comments

urbanwyatt 🤤 😋

urbanwyatt I love your black hair though baby!!!!!!

druski Where did you get that wig from?

yourusername Why you want some hair???

druski No because you should sue, they did you wrong sis

shloob 💀💀💀💀

yourusername You are such a hater 🙄

neelamthadhani real life Barbie 💗

urbanwyatt She’s more of a Bratz but let’s give her the title Barbie for now.

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, selenosunni, cozane, neelamthadhani, and 8,577,866 others

yourusername Looking for a cowboy to ride 🤠 🐴

View all 1,800 comments

cozane Suddenly I’m a cowboy 😏

selenosunni x2

yourusername OHHH??? 👀

urbanwyatt EXCUSE ME?????

druski I’ll be your cowboy, come on over and ride me all day!!!!!!!

urbanwyatt YO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK????

claybornharlow Y/N you’re annoying, I can see you laughing from across the room.

jackharlow 🙄

yourusername Damn y’all losers couldn’t go along with the joke???

cozane Your brothers are the annoying ones, I tried my best.

druski Whose joking? I was being serious, I’ll be your cowboy anytime of the day 🤪

urbanwyatt Only if you’re trying to get your ass beat

•

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, selenosunni, cozane, 2forwoyne, and 8,567,345 others

urbanwyatt Kicking balls and leg modeling should’ve been my calling.

View all 1,500 comments

yourusername HELLLOOOOO

yourusername GODDAMN

yourusername 👁️🫦👁️

yourusername THAT’S MY MAN!!!!!!!

yourusername I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!

yourusername Not really- not yet at least but I’ll let you cum down my throat for now!!!!!!

nemoachida Was this before or after y’all came out of the locker room?

yourusername Mind your business!

urbanwyattupdates Are we just going to ignore yn thirsting over her man on the comments ?

yourusername We’re not ignoring anything, it’s nothing new lol I always thirst over my sexy ass man.

urbanwyatt 🤭🤭🤭

user He’s definitely ignoring it because he’s done with her. She does too much.

yourusername I was put into this world to do just that!!!! Too much!!!!

user Yeah and your birth parents didn’t even want you so that says a lot about you.

jackharlow DAFUQ????

urbanwyatt I know you’re not being brave behind a screen. Say that shit to my face, don’t be asking for pictures or anything no more.

claybornharlow isn’t this the he guy who was yelling your name and y/n at the kickball game? Lmaoooo he was desperate for a picture and a video.

mamamaggie I love my son’s true fans, the ones who are respectful and show love to not only him, but to my family as well. But what I’m not about to do is sit and watch how some of you love to attack my daughter- because that’s what she is, SHE IS MY DAUGHTER!!! None of you know the situation, so don’t speak on something you know nothing about. I will throw hands down when it comes to my children.

druski Yall done brought out the hood from white lady

yourusername I WILL FUCK YOU UP! Leave my momma alone!

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, selenosunni, cozane, and 8,457,345 others

yourusername MY BOYS FOR LIFE 💗 *& before y’all start, clayborn included, he just doesn’t like to take pictures.*

View all 2,400 comments

claybornharlow I was about to unlike super fast until I finished reading the entire caption.

yourusername See, this is how drama starts!!!!

urbanwyatt 😘😘

jackharlow 💜

user girl I think it’s time to give it up, they don’t even care about you

yourusername Oh no 😢

user Im so sorry to be the one to tell you but they really don’t give a fuck about you. They feel sorry for you.

yourusername Damn, they told you all of this? 💀

user bitch I was trying to be nice to you

yourusername You call that being nice? 😩😩 don’t worry about me babes.

user2 Serious question though, does urban and everyone else in the circle put up with you because you’re jacks “sister” or because they feel bad for you?

yourusername Nah, they put up with me because I give all of them head.

user2 Who do you fuck first and who goes last.

yourusername We have a schedule, like today your dad is on my list.

user3 The way I see it is that you sleep with BOTH Jack and urban

yourusername I know that’s what YOU wish you’d be able to accomplish, but I’m sorry to burst your delusional bubble. Plus, this isn’t Alabama.

user4 Is Jack really your brother?

yourusername No, he’s my son 🙄

user5 I heard Urban is cheating on you. What are you gonna do about it.

yourusername Well I was about to let him deep down my throat right now, but I think I’ll let him fuck me instead- wait…. Am I supposed to leave him???? I’m confused.

druski I HAD TO MAKE SOME POPCORN AND ENJOY YOU CLAPPING BACK AT THESE LOSERS.

yourusername Oh I had time today 😈

•

Liked by yourusername, brysontiller, cozane, neelamthadhani, selenosunni, and 8,566,344 others

urbanwyatt She’s my fucking soulmate ❤️‍🔥

View all 2,300 comments

yourusername 🥹 My baby boy 😘

cozane user1, 2, 3 & 4 punching air right now

urbanwyatt lmao 🤣

selenosunni Sharing is caring 👀

urbanwyatt Not when it comes to her.

cozane 🧐🧐🧐🧐

jackharlow Don’t start

neelamthadhani Damn the girlies popping out

yourusername They wanted to come out and play.

urbanwyatt I love it when I get to play with them- I mean when they come out to play.

neelamthadhani Na I know exactly what you mean you dirty man

yourusername 😅😅😅😅

druski 🫦 can I get her number?

urbanwyatt NO

druski it’s okay I’ll slide into her dms

urbanwyatt You’re blocked.

druski What? Since when? Why did she block me?

urbanwyatt when you decided to send her a video of yourself scrolling through her pictures and zooming in on her.

druski That’s why she blocked me? I was admiring her beauty

urbanwyatt I blocked you from sending her messages.

druski well that’s rude, I guess I’ll have to see her in person and ask for her number.

urbanwyatt You’re annoying, you already have her number idiot.

druski I lost it

yourusername Damn, you lost my number? And you claim to be the love of my life. I’m heartbroken 💔

druski I just want ONE night, I can’t be stuck with you forever because you’re crazy.

urbanwyatt That’s okay bro, I’ll take her from you.

urbanwyattsource Haters are mighty quiet under this post. They had a lot to say under hers.

yourusername LMAAAOOOO because they don’t want to get blocked by him.

urbanwyatt They been blocked, I may stay silent from time to time but when it comes to my girl, I don’t play.

yourusername 🌽 💦 every time he calls me HIS GIRL 🥵🥵🥵🥵 likeee yessssuhhh zadddyyyyyy come choke me.

claybornharlow Here your ass goes 🤦🏼‍♂️

urbanwyatt 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

jackharlow ONE DAY JUST ONE DAY WHEN YOU TWO ACT RIGHT PLEASE 🙄

mamamaggie You know well enough that, that’s never going to happen. They were made for each other and they will forever be.

urbanwyatt Mama gets it

••••••••••

TAG LIST

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[mybeypage]

For entertainment purposes, I sometimes play around with an incorrect quote generator. To make it fun, the characters + quote have to be completely random / I can't shuffle names, and they have to make me laugh.

Here are some of my favorites. Hope they bring you a laugh.

--

Kai: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them. Ray: That’s brilliant. Kai: Thank you, Kenny.

--

Max: I dare you- Kenny: Kai is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Max: Why not? Kai: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

--

Kai: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

--

Max: What's worse than a heartbreak? Ray: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

--

Kenny: Just be yourself. Say something nice. Kai: Which one? I can't do both.

--

Kenny: Emily noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Ray: This reminds me of the Emily who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Kenny: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Emily.

--

Kenny: That sounds like a terrible plan. Ian: Oh, we've had worse.

--

Emily: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? Kenny: All the time. Emily: Then you should be used to it by now.

--

Emily, to the Squad: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! *silence* Emily: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck... Salima : You didn’t clap either- Emily: SHUT UP!

--

Ray, staring at Mariah in a cage: ...Why are they in a cage? Tyson: Because they growled at me.

--

Ian: You’re giving me a sticker? Julia: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Ian: I’m not a preschooler. Julia: Fine, I’ll take it back- Ian: I earned this, back off!

--

Bryan: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go. Max: Those are wanted posters!

--

Kai: Yesterday, I overheard Max saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Spencer replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

--

Julia: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Tala: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

--

Kai: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Ian: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

--

Mariam: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Salima : Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. Emily: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

--

Mariah: Here you go, Emily, a nice hot cup of coffee! Emily: It's cold. Mariah: A nice cup of coffee. Emily: It's horrible! Mariah: Cup of coffee. Emily: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Mariah: C U P.

--

Mariam: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.

--

Bryan: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Ray: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

--

Julia: Why would you give a knife to Kai?! Kenny, shrugging: Kai felt unsafe. Julia: Now I feel unsafe! Kenny: I’m sorry… Kenny: Would you like a knife?

--

Emily, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

--

Julia: Bryan’s gonna kill me. Spencer: No, he'll probably make me do it.

--

Kai: That's it, you're grounded! Tala, no adventures for you! Mariam, no fighting for you! Ian, no stealing for you! And Bryan... oh my god, is there anything that you love? Bryan: Revenge. Kai: No vengeance for you. Bryan: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

--

Max: You're violent. Ian: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Josephine with a baby would be insane. I don’t have anything else to say; the dynamic between an uneasily pregnant Jo and a wishful and wistful Zelda, still waiting for lightning to strike HER again, would be so heartbreaking. I do think Jo could find new purpose with a child, especially in this life that’s so different from anything she imagined for herself, but it’s not a decision to be taken lightly or made on a whim. It would take a serious miscalculation (as if!) or some bizarre irregularity in her cycle……. Highly unlikely. 👀

Well hello hello, friend. Look at you, back in the inbox right on schedule. Grab a chair, why don’t we? It’ll be a long one….

Okay so FIRST of all this is why when you sent me that ask yesterday I was like, boy oh boy, do we have a psychological dive in store for you. Because y’all, there’s so damn much going on in that post. Why don’t we, uh, go back to an old tradition and follow a heathen under the cut while she rants about her pixels…

A plotline where Jo would be (even somewhat begrudgingly) pregnant while Zelda was the one who wanted the child would be too heartbreaking, even for me. While I think there’s potential there for support and mutual parenting (which they’re doing with Violette), at its core it would be gut wrenching for them both. I think we can really see why that is for Zelda, as she almost “illogically” wants a child more than she can describe. This is where the double entendre of Josephine talking in the mirror in today’s post comes in, because we can apply it to Zelda and the fact that there are VERY good reasons for her not to want another child. But there’s still something in her that is longing for one, and so to make her watch while it happens to her best friend would absolutely break her.

However, Jo is not aware of Zelda’s struggles at all. When she is speaking in the mirror, she is talking to herself. What we (and Gio) caught Jo in the middle of was sheer, unadulterated spiraling. If you go back to the last line of the corn post, you can see Jo setting herself up for this, insofar as she thinks that Zelda is happy because she has fully given herself over to this life, and that Josephine wants that; she just doesn’t now how.

Keep in mind Josephine is 32 at this point, and I think this is an age where there’s a moment for many people who can bear children, where you think “is that what I’m supposed to do?” or “will it make me happier?” even if you’ve decided that you don’t want children. While a small part of Jo is considering Gio in these thoughts, it is mostly self-pressure, with the influence of society and other women - being Zelda here, too. So when she’s listing these logical reasons why she shouldn’t have a child, she’s telling that to herself. She’s talking herself out of it, and as the end of the post hints at, it’s because she can get pregnant at that moment and she knows it.

But simultaneously her choice here shows that even while she is at her lowest (arguably even more than her depression because now, she’s giving it her all and it’s still not working), she will never choose to have children. You are not wrong in that it might give her life purpose, and that’s part of her thought process here too. She’s almost convinced herself that the act of bearing a child could give this pointless life she’s living meaning, and in doing so she could finally let go of her need for control and give in to her situation.

Like you said, there’s always the element of a mistake, but she tells Gio point blank “that she doesn’t make mistakes.” Of course all it takes is one, but this post is meant to show that she’s far too calculated and self possessed to give herself over not only to the intense emotions she’s experiencing at the beginning of the post, but also any sort of physical drive that might lead her to sleep with Gio when she knows not to.

She also very purposefully ends the post without ever giving in to him physically or emotionally. Even more, she’s still using selective vulnerability and sex to more or less manipulate him. Her balancing on the tip of her foot only to pull away is very indicative of this, insofar as she gives him just enough of herself without ever doing so completely. When she ultimately walks away with that little smirk on her face, its because she has truly talked herself off the ledge and reestablished some sense of self autonomy that she felt like she lost even in the act of considering a child. She’s realized that even in his world and for however much she has altered her life around his dreams and their situation, she still at least has that level of control over her own body and even his.

Y’all please just know I can write a whooooole ‘nother essay on the last paragraph so God help you if you made it through this one and imma shut up now…

[tommykinard6]

!!!!!

i want to hear it alllllllllll.

but uhhh. if you want specifics. characters you wish had lived/stayed? thoughts on any(/all) of buck’s LIs? (any other opinions you have that you feel like sharing? i love hearing other people’s Thoughts.)

Thank you!!! I shall answer all of this, so buckle up!

Characters. Ya know, I say this and then realize we haven’t lost all that many characters, so I may mention some really niche ones. First off! Wes, the security guard on the cruise. Please, he was precious and deserved to live. Also, I love side characters and am so sad the first mate died. Russ, the firefighter who died in the earthquake episode. Even though I like what the storyline did for Chim, I still wish Kevin had lived. Jonah? I think is his name? He’s the guy who drowned in an attic during the tsunami.

Also, while I have mixed feelings on Shannon, I do wish she’d lived. I love the arcs that came from her death and think they have tackled great subjects, but there are other great storylines that could’ve happened if she and Eddie simply divorced.

Those are all I can think of off the top of my head!

Buck’s LI’s? Buckle up, y’all.

Abby! Absolutely not. She was ok as a character. But as a love interest, no. She got Buck’s number through (in my opinion) very unethical means. I think she used him and was never serious about him, whereas she was his everything. Then she ditched him, possibly cheated on him, and only saw him next when she was engaged.

Ali, I actually really liked. She was very sweet and solid and honestly I’ll date her. While it was heartbreaking, I can understand the difficulty and the choice she made. I think she deserved longer time as a LI.

Taylor? Hell no. Here’s the thing, she and Buck as friends made sense. I loved their friendship. But as lovers? Nope. She was selfish, manipulative, and was basically a strong independent woman in all the bad ways. She and Buck were ill paired. If I never see her again, it’ll be too soon.

Lucy? Do we count her? I will here. I think there’s too much focus on Buck “cheating” and not enough on how drunk he was as opposed to how sober she appeared.

Now, I don’t mind her later on, but I generally don’t like her.

Natalia? Please. She was gorgeous omg. But as a character, bland, unsuited, glad she’s gone.

Tommy? 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷💋💋💋🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘😘 I’m normal about him

[logicheartsoul]

Writers ask;

12, 42, 45

Hi, Kenna! Woo, these are some questions huh?

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you? …you just had to come out with the big loaded question didn’t you? 😂😂😂 This is a complication question and I dunno how I’m going to answer without making it a million years long lol

Because this kind of thing depends on 1) where my head is at, at the time and 2) if we are talking before when I was actively writing vs now on this hiatus where I’ve got massive mean brainworms lol

I’m going to spare the long answer here coz it would probably be a very long read with a read more but maybe remind me to make a separate post coz there’s just. So many thoughts

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? I had to dig into my ao3 history coz I opened some fics the other day but to recommend them to a friend, not necessarily read them. The last one I read was barbarian by maleadjacent.

It’s an on going story and it’s an AU based on a movie I haven’t watched (apparently it’s a horror movie but they removed the horror elements and plot and just kept the partly romcom elements instead), but I’m quite enjoying it so far. I’m curious how for the accidental roommate adventures of Sam and Bucky and them growing closer as friends and more.

45. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh? It honestly depends on what I’m trying to do with the story, if it’s supposed to be funny or have a humorous moment then yes I want laughter. If it’s supposed to be angsty or serious, then yes, I want to feel the heartbreak. I wouldn’t try to be cruel like mainstream writers these days where they write stuff and then radically change it coz “you guessed our plot we don’t want that” or “we didn’t like y’all liking this thing or pairing so we are just going to do mean things to said character or ship even though we built it up in the first place”.

[ get to know a fic writer ]

[scheodingers-muppet]

hi y’all are getting another taylor album as ST because it’s all i can think about at the moment. today, folklore!

the 1: stancy, from Steve’s perspective. specifically when he’s starting to move on (ignoring what happened in season 4 cause like… what?) or if you want some serious heartbreak, i’m a “steddie was friends in middle school” truther and if you listen to it like that…

cardigan: byler!!! mainly from Will’s perspective. you can’t convince me Will didn’t come home from his first playdate with Mike and tell Joyce he was gonna marry that boy. he knew this whole time he loved him, and Mike used to show him how much he loved him back

the last great american dynasty: steddie. steve’s family would see eddie as a bad influence and blame steve “being where he is” on eddie (reality; steve is happy and loved and just got a place with eddie and his family views it as a downgrade). the town would still hate eddie, and blame whatever they could on him. also the line about the neighbor makes me think of the Eddie Munson TikTok Saga and i can see eddie stealing a dog just to get back at someone being slightly rude to steve

exile: jopper. specifically Hopper seeing Joyce with Bob. Hopper saw her with Lonnie through high school, has loved her since then. He’s loved Joyce through multiple relationships, on both sides. they’ve lived this movie before

my tears ricochet: max and billy. max didn’t deserve any of the shit billy gave her. “i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky” “i can go anywhere i want, just not home”

mirrorball: STEVE! that poor boy has Brett Hand syndrome and doesn’t even know his favorite color. he fully picked his personality to get friends when he was younger and he’s finally learning how to tear that down. he still “performs,” to get people to like him though, like still trying to flirt with all the girls in season 3

seven: Ronance. specifically Robin. i just know that girl is deeply nostalgic for her early childhood and brings Nancy to her grandmas house one summer, going off on 30 minute stories about all her favorite traditions and stuff and then getting to her favorite playground, where Nancy tells her she went on a trip here one summer with her family years ago and befriended a little girl at the creek and spending the day running around like this. Robin realizes she was that little girl and the pretty girl with the long braid she’d been talking about was her now-girlfriend. i also think robin would love someone in such a soft way, like with a childlike-sense of adoration

august: elmax. they’re in love your honor and if the stupid upside down would have stayed quiet in season 3, they would have had the best summer ever. they would have sleepovers every night, switching between their places. snuck out to the mall when one gets grounded

this is me trying: nancy. this girl needs therapy. she’s dealing with so much. also, “my words shoot to kill when i’m mad” “i got wasted like all my potential” “i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere” “it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound” those are so nancy-coded

illicit affairs: steddie. them hiding it at first and then when eddie dies ends up in the hospital in a coma, steve sits at his grave hospital bed holding his hand, telling him how angry he is

invisible string: jancy. i think we as a fandom forget they likely grew up knowing each other pretty well. the way we see Joyce and Karen talking show us the families are close. it’s also not hard to imagine they’d be close with how close Mike and Will are. i think they’d have so many little things that ended up with them fitting together so well. also, i think them both being bi and the line “blues and that purple pink sky” is so funny

mad woman: Joyce. she’s painted to be the town-loon in season one. the town saw what they thought was a mother who just lost their child and decided she was crazy

epiphany: Hopper. that man lost so much and tries to just handle it by bottling it up. his ptsd from the war and all the upside down stuff, losing his daughter, the russian prison

betty: stancy, from Steve’s perspective after the movie incident

peace: Will and El (not a ship) “as long as danger’s near, and it’s just around the corner cause it lives in me” i just know these kids blame themselves for getting everyone involved in this (even though it’s not their fault) they’re able to find the solidarity in each other

hoax: platonic stobin. i think they definitely need to dive more into the dynamic now that their trauma bonded, but i think them switching off on being extra sad and the other taking care of them is extremely them

the lake: steddie, from eddie’s perspective. they get out of hawkins as soon as they can and live happily ever after

[the1975attheirverybest]

I’ve had a feeling this was coming. The combination of Matty repeatedly making a point to tell us they aren’t going anywhere, Jamie stressing that this is the last set of shows for a while, and Adams ATPOAIM episode is what did it for me. I couldn’t imagine them jumping right back into another album cycle after the year they’ve had, either. I didn’t even expect this second leg on tour.

It’s heartbreaking to hear confirmation, but besides COVID, they’ve been going nonstop for a decade. Longer breaks just seem inevitable as they get older.

He says a lot of stuff that doesn’t come to pass (he also said they’d take a long break after Notes which didn’t pan out), but he also speaks very deliberately. He seemed nervous when he said it, and the vibe shifted majorly, he knows the weight those words hold. Maybe they’ll make a return in 2025 or 2026 instead of the usual two year cycle.

Anyways, I’m hoping this means his solo project sees the light of day.

Yeah I think you’re right. It’s been a wild ride, the album cycle, right? With everything that’s happened, coming back from Covid and all.

I was talking to @abiiors about this, and, we were saying how this might be a similar thing to what ended up happening with the Arctic Monkeys. There were a few years when they paused. As their families and personal lives grew. And we got TLSP in the meantime. You know?

And, like, let me make a disclaim rn cuz some of y’all in my asks and dms need to fuckin chill. Im NOT saying I don’t want the boys to rest. They SHOULD. It made sense for them to operate the way that they’ve been operating for the past decade because they were establishing a career. They were practically children. From Drive Like I do, to The EPs. By the time ST was a thing they were like 23. They’re grown men in their mid 30s now. Mentally, socially, physically, their lives look very different. They’ve been in serious relationships now. Baby boy Hann is growing up and Hann has been on the road for most of these big important milestones as a father.

It just doesn’t make sense for them to keep going the way that they have been. Ross is now a producer. George has produced a bunch of other records. Matty’s broadened out and made friends with Phoebe and Jack Antonoff (who may or may not be his solo project producer). The boys are growing up. (That’s was going to be the subject of my ‘essay’ on BFIAFL btw. That’s why I’d called it ‘boys to men’ like as a pun on Boys II Men.) that means that their art and their jobs are going to grow and change as well. Slowing down is essential.

And while we’re on the subject, I don’t think that the way they’ve been going for the past 10 years is sustainable. It’s not right. Not healthy. You guys know how Matty always says “we create in the same way that we consume”? It’s true. Because of streaming, post-modernity, etc (especially post-Covid), our consumption of art and entertainment has changed. We have shorter cultural attention spans. A song that came out 6 months ago is already old news today. So, with Notes, Matty has talked about wanting to keep putting out records as long as he has something meaningful to say and as long as culture is hungry for more. And while that might sound like great news for us as fans cuz it just means that we’ll always have new content around the corner. But let’s step back from that for a moment, yes?

That’s not healthy for him. He has already worked himself to the bone over the past ten years. Even at his worst and darkest moments he was making music. And he’s a bit of a workaholic. Sure, he doesn’t have a family just yet, but that doesn’t mean he should do this to himself. Obviously, it’s his world and his life and if he feels okay to keep doing things a certain way, that’s his business. I’m just saying that as fans, our investment in the boys doesn’t begin and end with consumption and creation. I’m interested (as I’m sure many, if not all of us) in his health and sanity. I can cite endless examples of great artists from the past few decades who burnt out hard and crashed because they didn’t want to “waste the moment” or tried to capitalize on their fame when it hit peak levels. I’m personally really proud of Matty for doing this past year clean / off the drugs, and in tip top physical health. What I wish for him, whether he chooses to pursue it or not, is that he would give himself time to be bored. Stop and learn how to deal with the quietness of mundane everyday life. Cuz, that can fuck a person up. Sometimes, when you’re so used to the lifestyle that the boys have lived for the last 10 years, just going home and being with the people that you love feels like torture. And people easily start self-destructive habits to cope with that. I want him to learn all that on his own terms, you know?

My sincerest wish for him is that he will continue the tremendous growth that he’s shown over the last few years. By leaning even harder into the healthy habits that he seems to have established for himself mentally and physically. Not backtrack and fall on the old nonsense. But in order to be able to do one or the other he needs to actually HAVE TIME. We all know this is a real issue for him. That’s what fuckin RoadKill is about. “When I think I won’t die from stopping.” “Not really how babies get made,” etc. it would genuinely be healthy for him to feel like he’s gonna die from stopping and then learn that he won’t actually die.

So that he can come back and be creating from a place of security and mortal dread. To pick up a guitar/ pen/ whatever he uses to write because he wants to and he has something to say, not cuz if he doesn’t, he might go insane.

This is true for all of the boys, Ross is the other ostensibly single one whose immediate private life might feel quiet too. (For all we know. Like he might be in a serious relationship that’s not our business.) really this is true for all 4 of them. And of all the people who have loved and supported them over the past 10 years. This isn’t easy on family and loved ones and their live musicians and crew either.

If they have to miss and album cycle or two, then so be it. Maybe we will get Matty’s solo record. Maybe we’ll get DLID, maybe that weird feature film that he’s been writing for as long as I can remember, maybe, maybe, maybe….. all that would be great but not necessary.

HAVING SAID ALL OF THATTTTT. Let’s not fuck around. For many of us, the 1975 has been the constant, comfort, strength, love, meaning etc. and it going away for however long that will be, is LEGITIMATELY A SAD THING. There is absolutely no reason to minimize or trivialize that pain. Or feel that you are selfish or don’t care about the boys, or any less of a fan, just because you find that having to imagine a future when SATVB isn’t on tomorrow or the day after, and we aren’t hyperfixating on or analyzing Matty’s cryptic speeches or thirsting after his torso extremely sad/ difficult/ bittersweet/ lonely/ scary. C’mon. Some people have been in this fandom since ST (not me), that’s their whole fuckin life, man!!!!! It IS sad. You SHOULD cry. ITS OKAY TO BE UPSET. and frankly anyone who makes people feel bad for that is a piece of shit.

Saying things like “oh they’ll be back.” “They’re not going anywhere.” “Matty will be chronically online” are all true BUT THEY DONT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THINGS ARE CHANGING. FOR GOOD. ITS OKAY TO FEEL HOWEVER YOU FEEL.

The boys are still around for the next few months. Let’s cherish them (and each other) while we still can. But imo this is not a silly subject and it’s okay to be upset.

Love y’all. The 1975 forever 🩷

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Chloe

Nancy: Hey girl, it’s been a minute

Nancy: and I know you think that I don’t care about you and that I’m a totally terrible friend and okay, valid, I’ve not always been there for you like I should day-to-day but you KNOW I have your back when and where it REALLY counts…

Nancy: like now, for instance

Chloe: What are you talking about? I thought you were at Teddy’s party rn

Nancy: How mortifying! 😳

Nancy: Caught babysitting [a girl who is younger than y’all, it’s giving Grace but it’s not Grace lol], she didn’t want to face it alone

Nancy: but we need to talk about something I’ve found out

Chloe: So why are you leading with [this girl], who even is that?

Nancy: I’m just not having it out there I’m freely at a 16th

Nancy: but she’s irrelevant, it’s about my 16-year-old sister

Chloe: She’s as irrelevant to me

Nancy: Sadly not

Nancy: and look, I get it, why you didn’t come to me, that’s your man and your instinct was to protect him

Chloe: Your sister is nothing to do with me

Nancy: It’s true then?

Nancy: I mean, I thought it had to be a line, him telling her it was over between you and he’s going to be with her

Chloe: These riddles are sailing over my head, I don’t know what you could possibly mean by any of this

Nancy: You don’t have to pretend for him

Nancy: indiscretions are one thing but a child?

Nancy: He can’t possibly expect you to stand by him and defend this

Chloe: Let’s not pretend she looks or acts like a child

Nancy: Okay, child is a stretch but still, when people want to talk they will reach for the most damning headline

Chloe: There’s nothing to talk about, she’s lying, whatever she’s saying

Nancy: I know how hurtful this is, I’ve been there before, I’m not as lucky as you but men I’ve really loved have done me like this all the same

Nancy: I PROMISE you, I have seen the evidence, she showed me

Chloe: Don’t insult me by trying to relate, we’re married, we have a child

Chloe: just tell me what evidence you’re claiming to have seen

Nancy: Come on, you know what this looks like

Nancy: the messages, the pictures, the gifts… she’s entirely besotted 

Chloe: I’m sure she is, James is a catch

Nancy: He seems to feel the same

Nancy: though I can’t quite believe he admitted it, perhaps he thought telling me it was serious would make it less… well, disgusting

Chloe: Wait, he told you that?

Nancy: [‘James: I’ve met someone I’m serious about

Nancy: When? You’ve literally been on holiday with your wife 

James: Prior to my holiday, but the details are hardly important, what matters in our context is that she is, to me

Nancy: Jesus’ screenshot]

Nancy: I saw him in person when I found out who that ‘someone’ was

Chloe: Since when have you been talking to my husband about his feelings?

Nancy: Since I had my suspicions 

Chloe: Suspicions you didn’t come to me with

Nancy: Because the last thing I want is to look like I’m stirring the pot, trying to cause trouble where there is none

Nancy: I wasn’t acting until I was sure that he was planning to screw you over, and I am, it’s time to protect yourself and your baby

Chloe: That’s usually exactly what you want, I’m not stupid

Nancy: This is serious, darling, there’s no game to be played here

Nancy: you know his father’s plan has always been to cut you out, should the opportunity ever present itself

Chloe: The opportunity hasn’t, he isn’t going to leave me, however serious he’s pretending his feelings are to you, to give you the brush off

Nancy: Have you got your ducks in a row, that is truly all I care about

Chloe: Of course I have

Nancy: Good

Nancy: then heartbreak and pain put aside, you will be accommodated for

Chloe: Your bitch sister’s slander aside

Nancy: She’s not where I’d focus my concern, when it comes to slander

Chloe: Let me guess, you’ve had hours of heart-to-hearts with James about this

Nancy: Hardly, we’re acquaintances at best these days

Nancy: his younger bitch brother is famously loose-lipped though, as I am reminded having to be here

Chloe: Everyone’s well aware he can’t be trusted

Nancy: But he does say the STRANGEST things for attention

Nancy: even having them repeated in jest would be mortifying for you

Chloe: Now he really is a child

Nancy: How do you cope having to see him on a regular basis?

Chloe: The same way the rest of the family does, with a well stocked bar

Nancy: 🥂

Nancy: I will give them that

Chloe: For all their other many faults

Nancy: The decor, for instance, yeesh

Chloe: Oh, I know, it’s vile!

Chloe: but they’ll be forced to re-decorate after Teddy’s finished having his tantrum

Nancy: I don’t hold out hope for stylish choices being made but 

Nancy: if they even get that far, these kids do not know how to party like we did

Chloe: He acts like he invented it, the entire concept of a party

Chloe: they’re a bunch of toddlers really

Nancy: Mhmm

Nancy: this is how you must feel around Matilda 🥱

Chloe: Though she’s FAR more advanced than Theodore

Nancy: Naturally, he is just a boy 

Chloe: Was she with her father when you met up?

Nancy: No, I think your parents had her, she had that awful cold

Chloe: Typical of him to be anywhere but taking care of her

Nancy: 🙄 Being a father is the part-time job to being a mother’s full-time

Chloe: Ugh, tell me about it

Nancy: No wonder he can find the time for a full-blown affair, that would just be impossible for you

Nancy: unless you carried one out with his father or something

Chloe: He deserves that, but I would never

Nancy: ❤️❤️❤️

Nancy: I’ve no doubt you’ll work out an appropriate punishment 

Chloe: I will

Nancy: If you need anything spread around to help your narrative, you know where to find me

Nancy: you know better than anyone it’s what I do best

Chloe: I knew you still hated your sister, Teddy is so full of it

Nancy: I can’t believe he’s been talking about me!

Nancy: well, I absolutely can but you know, what the hell

Chloe: He has such a blatant crush, he doesn’t ever shut up about you

Nancy: On YOU, are you serious

Nancy: it is so transparent

Chloe: That he’s a little freak

Nancy: Most definitely but at least he’s not hideous 

Chloe: No, true, that’s the sister

Nancy: It’s giving 🦗

Nancy: If I HAD to choose one to stare at me over Sunday dinner, it wouldn’t be her

Chloe: It wouldn’t be Teddy either, I’d refuse to play

Nancy: Obviously it would be Snr, he looks just like James plus years of refinement 

Nancy: but you don’t have to say

Chloe: My lips are tactfully sealed

Nancy: I got you 🙊

Nancy: You remember I had a thing with the mother’s brother, right

Chloe: He was one of your more worthwhile conquests at the time

Nancy: Rude!

Nancy: You know I’m not the marrying sort

Nancy: but I could’ve for that man 🥴

Chloe: It isn’t too late

Nancy: I heard he’s got a partner

Chloe: So? I don’t remember it mattering to you before

Nancy: I’m a changed woman 😘

Chloe: Really

Nancy: Aren’t you, Mrs Pemberton-Howard?

Chloe: We’re very different people

Nancy: Now that’s simply untrue

Chloe: Maybe, but we do live very different lives

Nancy: Now, yes

Nancy: but not always, some things never change

Chloe: Like your plans for the evening

Nancy: What are yours?

Chloe: I don’t know, you’ve upended them by coming at me with all of this

Nancy: I couldn’t not tell you this, that would feel wrong

Chloe: Nonsense, clearly you’re closer to James these days than you are to me

Nancy: You’re still mad at me over [whatever the last drama was]

Chloe: I couldn’t care less about [this drama, which is clearly a lie but okay]

Nancy: You never invite me to the things you do with the others from school

Chloe: As no 16 year olds are invited, why would you be interested?

Nancy: This isn’t your drafts

Chloe: You aren’t funny and this isn’t a laughing matter

Nancy: It’s really not, sweetie

Chloe: Stop making it about you or a petty falling out I don’t even recall the details of

Nancy: I’m not

Chloe: We’re not friends and it’s completely unimportant 

Nancy: If that’s how you feel

Nancy: I wish you luck with sorting this mess

Chloe: How else do you expect me to feel, grateful to you for bringing this to my attention?

Nancy: Of course not but that doesn’t make it my fault

Chloe: It’s your sister’s, perhaps if you were a better one she wouldn’t throw herself at other people’s men

Nancy: You’re an only child, with an only child, I don’t think you get it hun

Chloe: I get you’re a terrible role model

Chloe: if you actually cared you’d be talking to her

Nancy: You heard me say that I have

Chloe: Is she going to call things off with him or not?

Nancy: I could reason with her

Chloe: I doubt she’ll listen, I have no idea why I’m still entertaining you

Nancy: Because your alternative is praying he doesn’t leave

Chloe: James knows what’ll happen if he does

Nancy: Maybe he’s starting to care less

Chloe: He’ll care

Nancy: 🤞🤞

Chloe: You’ll offer him a shoulder to cry on once he’s childless again, naturally

Chloe: you’re as bad as your sister

Nancy: Childless, you’re going to take Tilly away?

Chloe: He isn’t a fit father to a child if he’s sleeping with one

Nancy: Quite

Chloe: I’ve given him a choice, he’s leaving me with none

Nancy: Like I said, you have to do what’s right for you

Chloe: Being a single mother isn’t right for anyone

Chloe: it’s trashy but so are they, what else can I do?

Nancy: You find a stepfather and you and James consciously uncouple, of course

Nancy: there’s no need for you to do it alone, nor reveal that this wasn’t a joint decision to separate 

Chloe: No man is going to want her, or me thanks to her

Nancy: Girl, be so serious

Chloe: I am! 

Chloe: James can’t be bothered to look after her and she’s his

Nancy: because he’s leading a double life

Nancy: when he isn’t, he’ll have the time

Nancy: and so will you to focus on your new man

Chloe: This is his life and where his focus should be, I won’t just get a new one that easily to replace the one he’s ruined, not like he can

Nancy: When has the boys having it easier than us ever been news? Nancy: We’ve always got through it and to the other side with grace

Chloe: Except I’m not graceful, my body will never be the same and he’s sacrificed nothing

Chloe: he gets to look even hotter to other women when he takes our daughter to the park or something, it’s outrageously unfair

Nancy: [send her some site that’s giving mum’s with EDs like here’s how to bounce back ladies and it’s just dubious af ‘advice’]

Nancy: That’s the world we live in, darling, we have to learn where to fit in and work it to our advantage 

Chloe: I heard you’re dating [her boring bf rn as if you’re in any position to throw shade ma’am]

Nancy: Old news, I fear

Chloe: Oh?

Nancy: 💔 There’s someone else in the works, fear not

Chloe: Some things never change, exactly like you said

Nancy: Why waste time when my soulmate could be the next guy?

Chloe: Don’t waste mine with talk of soulmates

Nancy: Don’t be depressing

Chloe: I am depressed, blame your slut of a sister

Nancy: It’s BEEN over, you have to start planning your next move, you should have started months if not years ago

Chloe: It has NOT, how dare you

Nancy: Oh, okay 

Nancy: your denial makes it less real

Chloe: Tilly is only [however old she is but in months because ick and we can], we haven’t been over

Nancy: Will she not be starting school in September?

Chloe: Which is why we’ve waited for another, obviously

Chloe: we’ll both have more time then

Nancy: Congratulations

Chloe: I’m not pregnant yet

Nancy: Still, if that’s the plan

Chloe: Well

Chloe: it isn’t now 

Nancy: He wouldn’t stay, for a new baby?

Chloe: He doesn’t deserve a second baby

Nancy: Probably not

Nancy: but what do YOU deserve?

Chloe: Not to be tortured, which pregnancy and childbirth is

Nancy: I don’t doubt that

Nancy: still, unconditional love has to be worth something

Chloe: No one would do it if it was all horrid

Nancy: Exactly, and you did it once and you were so much younger and less in the know then

Nancy: it wouldn’t be as bad, couldn’t

Chloe: Everyone wants a boy and a girl, it’s a lie to say otherwise

Nancy: Duh

Nancy: it makes everything even and perfect

Chloe: But you can’t guarantee that, ugh

Chloe: I so wanted her to be a boy to please his controlling parents

Nancy: Only through IVF and whatever the other options are called

Nancy: you could get a surrogate that way too, no childbirth

Chloe: He wouldn’t pay for that

Nancy: Do you not have access to funds yourself?

Nancy: make him think it was a natural occurrence 

Chloe: What funds? I can’t ask my parents

Nancy: He doesn’t give you housekeeping, or share the account details?

Chloe: Of course but it wouldn’t be enough, his parents are ridiculously unkind with what they give him

Nancy: Beastly!

Nancy: Still, he’ll be working full-time soon

Nancy: but perhaps we can find the funds before then

Chloe: I know! I can hardly starve my existing child to create another

Nancy: If they also thought there was another child, perhaps they’d free up the money quicker, more generously too…

Nancy: the dates can surely be fudged somewhat, cover yourself

Chloe: Where the dates are concerned, his parents are the least of my worries

Chloe: as I’m sure James or his gossipy brother has told you, the holiday was a total disaster and he’s been no less cruel to me since we got back home

Nancy: I can see how that would prove problematic, ever since he’s decided to saint himself with sobriety

Nancy: but, could his gossipy brother not be made use of, he’d have no qualms in slipping something to James, something you couldn’t be blamed for nor aware of… it’s that boy that’s entirely without morals, not you

Chloe: He’d hold such a thing over my head forever, my life wouldn’t be worth living

Nancy: Why, he doesn’t need to know, just convince Teddy it’s his own idea to do it just for fun and mention nothing of your personal life

Nancy: Easy

Chloe: Teddy’s who I meant, but you’re so right about his ego and twisted sense of fun

Nancy: Me too, he doesn’t need to know a thing, like it’ll be hard to fool him, big ego does not equal big brain 

Nancy: aren’t Sunday dinners a complete chore? This would certainly be a suggestion to pep it up

Chloe: They’re the worst, if I’d known his entire family were this deranged, I’d have thought twice about marrying in

Nancy: Not a thing they would advertise

Nancy: I hear the sister’s husband-to-be is a walking corpse

Chloe: [however old he is] but not a hot [the age]

Nancy: They’ll last [however long we are ungenerously giving them] and it’ll all be for a divorce settlement not the lot in the will then 💔

Chloe: [a shorter time to be a bitch] if that

Nancy: 😏 I’m loathe to miss the fireworks 

Nancy: but enjoy, darling

Chloe: 😘 enjoy the rest of his party

Nancy: I’ll try

Nancy: someone has to make it a party, right

Chloe: And who better, it’s what you’re good at

Nancy: You made the right choice in declining, alas

Chloe: I babysit quite enough

Nancy: Mm, I am SO pleased to report my brother is yet to breed and thus try to force me into such a pursuit 

Chloe: In his situation I wouldn’t rush either, there’s no telling how children of theirs will turn out

Nancy: I shan’t be crossing my fingers for a logical approach from either of them, the studies have been sent and ignored, trust me

Chloe: He never would listen to reason

Nancy: He’s dead to me

Nancy: Ava, tbd but it’s not looking promising

Chloe: You poor thing, essentially orphaned, I don’t know how you cope

Nancy: If I were still in school, thank God it all happened just as I was allowed to get my own life

Chloe: Thank god

Nancy: The same can’t be said for my sister, when it all outs, you can take comfort in that

Chloe: The small comfort it’ll be

Nancy: There are bigger prizes to keep your eye on, naturally

Chloe: A teenager’s social suicide can only be so rewarding now we’re years removed from all that nonsense, as you pointed out

Nancy: And arguably, it’s his

Nancy: As you pointed out, James is a catch, until this makes him otherwise to other adults

Chloe: She isn’t the first to try and use him to social climb

Nancy: Just the first barely legal

Chloe: It’s Teddy’s fault, again, he was even there

Nancy: He’s never going to stop anyone making a bad decision, least of all his brother

Nancy: no loyalty

Chloe: He can’t handle his [whatever drug he told her he was on]

Chloe: embarrassing, must be in their shared DNA 

Nancy: Awh, how cute

Chloe: I dread to think how much of his father’s money he’ll lose tonight

Nancy: I’ll be planning a date with [whoever we’re saying is taking all these winnings] ASAP

Chloe: [suggest somewhere/some way to spend these winnings which is giving a flop cos your bad taste]

Nancy: 👏👏😘

Nancy: Perfection, my bday present to him isn’t allowing him to waste it on whatever he would

Chloe: Tell me you haven’t actually got him a birthday present

Nancy: Please, who am I

Chloe: But he still let you in, I told you he’s crushing on you

Nancy: Me and EVERYONE else, right

Chloe: Most of them are fine with bribing him

Nancy: I’m not about to ‘bribe’ him, babes

Chloe: I signed the card, what on earth James has given him is none of my business

Nancy: But guess

Nancy: what does he imagine a 16-year-old boy wants, as he alleges to have no memory of being one

Chloe: He buys everyone dusty old books, even the baby

Nancy: Not the baby, poor Matilda, she can’t even read

Chloe: I hope for your sister’s sake she can, she isn’t much older, technically 

Nancy: Oh I’m sure it’s a thing they’re bonding over and thinking it’s romantic

Chloe: 🤢

Nancy: It’s a shame Teddy isn’t more eligible, or I could talk him into taking Ava off James and sorting this problem for you… perhaps there’s something else though, I will have to see

Chloe: I wouldn’t wish him on anyone

Nancy: Not even me?

Chloe: Ew, no

Nancy: That is a relief, you can’t hate me THAT much 😘

Chloe: I hate him a lot more

Nancy: He teases you something awful

Chloe: I wouldn’t miss him, any of them, if James and I were over

Nancy: Understandable

Nancy: though I’m sure he’ll miss you making things slightly less dull

Chloe: Duh, but he’ll still have his mother and their unnatural closeness

Nancy: he’s one of THOSE 😬😬😬😬😬

Chloe: Closeted

Nancy: Mhmm, mummy’s boy ‘til you deny her grandchildren, so cliche

Chloe: The burden is entirely on me

Nancy: You NEED to have a boy, they’ll be so much kinder to you, whatever happens

Nancy: their children have and will fail to provide what you have

Chloe: THANK YOU

Chloe: this is what I’m saying

Nancy: You can get it done, before James does anything rash

Chloe: He’s already done something rash, but I can fix it before things get any worse

Nancy: 💅

Chloe: And Tilly can thank me when she’s older

Nancy: Duh, no one wants to be from a broken home, she’s SO welcome

Chloe: His parents have managed [however many years] without killing each other

Nancy: Or yours, who are actually still in love

Chloe: Exactly, it’s not that hard

Chloe: there’s no need for him to act tortured

Nancy: Men can’t help themselves

Chloe: I’m putting in the hard work, no one can say uni compares to looking after a child all day

Nancy: It’s not even close

Nancy: Uni is a major doss, everyone knows that

Chloe: Especially if everyone hadn’t insisted he take real classes instead of reading more dusty old books and talking about them

Nancy: Poor J 🥺

Nancy: like are there not enough stupid, impressionable girls on campus, I can’t

Chloe: Clearly he needs to trawl our former classrooms now, I can’t

Chloe: it’s humiliating he hasn’t outgrown these urges by this point

Nancy: I think men never really do, awful isn’t it

Nancy: what we’re expected to put up with

Chloe: I’m at my limit

Nancy: You need to let loose, have some time for yourself

Chloe: I don’t get to, that’s what the holiday was supposed to be for, time for myself and time for us

Chloe: he threw it back in my face

Nancy: What about going to [their holiday home]?

Nancy: He’ll have to sort everything if you’re not here, simple

Chloe: And let him have her over while I’m away, I think the fuck not

Nancy: I doubt she’ll be going anywhere once my parents get clued in, which they will

Nancy: but I see your point

Chloe: Forgive me for not trusting that your parents will do anything helpful, but when have they ever?

Nancy: Helpful when they left us with an empty house most of the time or helpful now

Nancy: your definitions have changed

Chloe: The definition of homewrecker hasn’t

Nancy: You act as if I’m about to disagree

Chloe: I’ll believe they’ll deal with her appalling behaviour when I see it

Nancy: Of course

Nancy: it seems a shame you’re to have no fun until then though

Chloe: Story of my life

Nancy: 💔

[shitposts927383828]

!!Fanfiction read flags!!

This is my option not facts. Just what I think are red flags or stuff I read once and dip bc I don’t like it. Blah blah blah, if your feelings get hurt cry about! Love y’all tho <3

This applies to wattpad and Quotev bc I frequent those ones the most. Others may apply but I don’t really know.

I read and enjoy X Readers! So some will be X Reader specific rules!

Section 1: Judging a book by its cover (and its description):

1. When it has no cover. Like I get it, I make my own and they suuuckk but come on. Try? If ya didn’t try for the cover you probably didn’t try with the book so I’m moving on. Sorry.

2. When their is no description. Negative points if it says “read to find out” or “too lazy for a description.” I DONT KNOW WHAT IM READING BC THEIRS NO DESC SO WHY WOULD I READ IT!?

2. Emojis in Description. That’s when you know it’s written on a phone and I don’t care. A bunch of great ffs were written on phone. But that screams younger person to me and no offense but only y’all would use emojis. PLUSH I HATE HOW THEY TAKE AWAY FROM THE STORY?! I’ll be reading and then I’ll be a

3. When the title and desc have nothing to do with the story. Shit will be titled “ghost of you </3” or “broken promises” and have nothing to do with ghost or dead people or anything of the sort. AND have nothing to do with broken promises. Like why is it titled that way when it has nothing to do with the story??

(^ This one isn’t serious but a nitpick)

_____

Section 2: RED FLAGS! Lets go:

1. When the author uses an OC instead of Y/N. I’ve written for Y/N! Almost exclusively! It isn’t hard! And y’all will sit their and say it is. ALL WHILE TAGGING YOUR SHIT WITH Y/N? OR READER? READER INSERT, X READER? Then her name is Luna or some shit.

1.5. When the author uses an OC instead of Y/N. Back at it again but this time your SO close. Then you give her blue hair or green eyes and pale skin. YOU USE Y/N BUT YOU GIVE HER AN APPEARANCE! And your so close to being right it hurts.

3. More notes the story. I get it. You want to talk with ppl reading your books, you know it’s fun to see comments and stuff! But I didn’t come here for your life updates and stuff. Sorry but I came to read my SpongeBob x Reader not for 7 A/Ns in a row! If it isn’t related to the book, don’t add it to the book. If it is, don’t make the Authors note SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS!

4. Sigh. When the character dialogue looks like this:

(Joe: Omg! We can’t do this!

Anna: yes we can! Don’t give up!

Anna said as she jumped off the building. Joe closed his eyes and took a leap of faith after her.)

I don’t Care if it’s the best written story in the world. It could have the most moving chapters but. No. I just can’t. It’s diifrent if the characters are texting or doing something else but this isn’t it. Pls stop.

5. Emojis. Again. Okay, I just hate emojis on fanfictions. Like cool! Awesome. But come on! Even if the characters are texting it takes me out of the story.

6. Stories that haven’t been updated in FOREVER. Look at the last updated thing BEFORE YOU READ. It’s always the best fanfictions so I’d advise to not get into it if your not prepared for heartbreak when you get to the not really last chapter but last chapter.PLEASE UPDATE!

7. When the author is arguing with people on the comments. You could be right. But if leaves a bad taste in my mouth that your entertaining the trolls and didn’t just delete the comment. And if your wrong and fight with me or someone I’m on the side of? Haha I’m out, dipped.

8. I hate it when people will tag stuff just to complain about something. Like stfu I came here for bnha Not your complaint about how the omegavere is sexist and “how can anyone read this??”. Firstly, Don’t like it don’t read it. It’s simple but secound of all HOW COME ITS TAGES BHNA? LEAVE ME ALONE IM JUST TRYING TO READ MIDORYA ANGST!!

8. When someone gets pressed OVER FANFICTION LMAO! Like it’ll be a fanfiction about suicide. I get it. It’s a hard topic, I myself have struggled with it in the past. Trying to commit 5 separate times. I clicked on the fanfiction myself bc it helps sometimes. BUT THEN SOME DUMBASS WITH BE IN THE COMMENTS “this is romanticizing suicide HOW COULD YOU?”

LIKE STFU it isn’t for you! Again! Don’t like it don’t read it! It HELPS some people cope with it. Like myself!stuff like that CAN help people cope with stuff! You don’t know who’s writing it, you don’t know who’s reading it. If you can’t read it, don’t. But leave it alone. It helps, even if you don’t think so it does.

Fanfiction shit I don’t mind. (This is mostly me making fun of you now)

1. I’ve grown past spelling errors. My mind autocorrects them for me. Their apart of fanfiction! Deal with it! I’m so tired of seeing ppl complaining about it. Like if it’s really bad (like can’t understand the word bad) then fine, sure. But if it’s just something like “the vhair moved forward scratching the wooden floor below it” then move on! ONE OF YALL can call it out. But if it’s the whole comment section just know your a bit annoying.

2. Op main characters. Ima be really honest here. Y’all will hate so fast on a op main character. Screaming “Mary Sue! Mary Sue!” When the character genuinely has flaws and is interesting beyond their powers and shit. Can’t a main character just start off strong? I swear sometimes the main character is weak asf and their are still comments being like “she’s kinda op can we make her weaker?” Or some dif way of saying it. The my hero ff commenters are the worst with this. OC/Y/n could actually have “heart attack” as a weakness and the comments will still be on about how she’s too strong.

Personally I like really strong main characters, Sue me.

Okay! So that’s all for today! Obviously some things might be missing or certain pet peeves I just forgot. I tried to keep it as stuff I’ve seen other ppl complain about too and just… I don’t know. \_0_/

______END NOTES.

At the end of the day fanfiction writers are providing FREE entertainment for us. Unpaid, unappreciated, hours sat at the computer… writing… and writing… then your friend gets hit by a bus and you still have to post an update…! Anyway! Theirs doing US a favor by writing. So no hate. Thank you for providing me a source of joy! (read: JJK X READER FICS)

Thank you for writing these stories, and don’t mind my nitpicks and such. This is just here for me to get out of my system as I’ve been holding it all in for as long as I’ve been reading fan fictions. (8 years)

Expect you Fake X Reader Folks. Fuck you for tagging it that way and blocked. (Not the Y/Ns with appearances I still love you but my hair isn’t red)

THANK YOU! For coming to my Ted talk! <3

[cloveroctobers]

1st HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Second, is there anyway you could write an OJ Haywood fic where y/n is with him when he goes to find the one horse at the old town attraction thing and instead of OJ getting knocked out by Jean Jacket, y/n does? They’re dating btw. Thanks!

YONDER | OJ HAYWOOD

A|N: Thanks for the bday wish 🫶🏽!! I know this was requested forever ago but…life you know!? Anyways it’s here and I always try to make my work shorter thinking that way I’ll be able to put content out quicker but that rarely goes my way! I’m trying y’all! Fun fact: wanted to take a break from writing this month but…idk if thats likely… (let’s see when i disappear next lmao) we’ll see! Hope the wait was worth it and that you enjoy!

WARNINGS: language? Religion + v*mit? Possible wrong usage of the word, “yonder,” idfk, I have southern grandparents and thats the first time I heard the word lol. I think that’s it!

↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉

this was kinda stupid.

Normally you did not find joy hating on something someone was passionate about but internally? You were surely screaming, ‘fuck those horses!’ The moment dear OJ decided he wanted to get Lucky back from Jupiter’s claim.

Even Em stared at you as if you had also lost your mind, jumping up to follow after your boyfriend and her very persistent brother.

“I know y’all not finna leave me here with Hispanic Green Day and with that thing lurking around out there?” Em voiced.

OJ ignored his baby sister, carrying on to his truck while you reluctantly followed.

Angel muttered, “I don’t know if I’m meant to be offended by that but…Green Day has hits.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. I still see you’re going through your angst phase and you’re what? Twenty-one or something?” Em fanned her hand, turning back to you two before Angel could defend himself and spew that he was still going through a fresh heartbreak, “are y’all serious?”

Squeezing the patterned crochet hat further over your hair and let out a deep sigh, “nope,” you popped the, ‘p,’ before glancing over at OJ who started up the truck, “but wherever this guy goes…”

Em scoffed as OJ began to reverse and turn around to exit the ranch, “you’re right beside ‘em. Fine. Just hurry up and get your asses back here, I don’t have the best feeling about splitting up!”

“Slight work.” OJ called out to his sister through the window, two fingers in the air while she nervously chewed down on her bottom lip, watching as you two began to take the long trail out of the ranch.

This was just like her childhood all over again.

Em could feel Angel’s eyes burning on the side of her face which resulted in her giving the bleached twenty-something year old the side eye, “don’t start, angel.”

Angel moved his fists from his hips to raise them in surrender, “I didn’t say anything!”

“Yeah but I know you were thinking it!” Em pointed.

Sooner than you hoped, you and OJ made it to the parking lot of the theme park quite quickly. There were cars scattered around but not as busy as it could be. As you stood on the outside of the passenger side, you scrunched up your nose, honey brown circular glasses lifting as you did so, staring up at the blazing sun. That seemed a bit more comforting than the clouds lately…however the heat seemed to be glaring at you, almost warning you to go back the way you came.

“You ready?” OJ tapped your waist, gaining your attention.

Taking a small inhale you stepped forward, following after OJ, almost jogging to keep up with him, soon falling into step beside him. OJ was always hard working and when he had his mind set on something, he would always find a way to pull through.

The front gate creaked behind you as your eyes searched the scarce park. A whole tumbleweed brushed by your feet while you took in the emptiness of the park. If you thought your stomach hurt before? It definitely began to increase along with the heavy beating of your heart.

Your eyes instantly shot to OJ’s, his own round hooded eyes always expressed what his mouth didn’t. He was almost thinking the same damn thing; instead of heading through the wooden gates, he tapped your forearm with a nod of his head.

“In and out. Quick…depending on lucky. We’ll be alright.” He encouraged.

If it was anyone else, you probably wouldn’t have believed that. Yet OJ could always reassure you with those eyes and a brief touch. Honestly he didn’t want you to come with him but he didn’t have the time to start an argument. Plus with you by his side? His best company, his companion, good luck charm, and half of his heart? He had the confidence to do what he needed to do versus doing what he wanted or was chosen to do.

Slowly you trailed after OJ who, on the other hand was taking quick strides while you glanced around at each building. It felt incredibly eerie being here at a once lively western themed place turned ghost town—with not a person in sight.

This was not normal.

Before you know it, you’re hugging yourself as you loop through the entrance to the arena…feeling the walls almost suffocating you as you kick up dirt with each step.

OJ’s kissing his lips at Lucky, attempting to get the black beauty’s attention, who stood inside of what appeared to be a glass box. Glancing at the empty red bleachers, it didn’t take you long to guess what Jupe had been up to. First his invitation, to Lucky held hostage in a box, and now there’s no one around for his big showcase?

It’s not adding up.

Turning your head back to lucky who would not move, it was your turn to click your tongue against your bottom tooth. Another sound that seemed to work with the horses, followed by OJ continuing to make his own. With the new added sound from you, you could see Lucky slightly tilt his head in your direction.

“That’s it!” OJ yelled, thinking the both of you were getting somewhere.

“If only I brought my bag of parsnips, we’d be leaving by now.” You muttered, now squatting down, ready to clap to get lucky to at least move more than an inch.

Before you could slap your hands together, OJ quickly gripped your shoulder—immediately making you stare up at him in question. One finger followed, up to his lips as he peered up at the sky allowing you to see it—Jean jacket sliding behind its cloud.

Shuffling back, still crouching, you widened your eyes while OJ began to lower his voice, constantly glancing back and forth between the sky and his beloved horse. “Lucky!” He whisper-yelled.

Your eyes were focused on the sky now. The sun did not shine as bright on this side of Jupiter’s claim. In fact it was much cloudier, colder, it was much more unsettling and as the wind began to pick up…so did Jean jacket. You held your breath expecting it to dive right in for the black horse; instead it spluttered right towards the both of you.

The saucer-like creature knew that it had other guests to devour and you struggled to get upright as OJ failed to loop a arm around your ribcage and yank you out of the way. It all felt like slow motion with OJ missing you and fighting to keep his eyes on the territorial creature.

You were never good with distance. It never served you well and you were often teased by your own family; that was why you were the only one who needed some glasses, being far-sighted and all. Although your eyes were focused mainly on the sky after OJ brought it to your attention, you assumed Jean jacket was out yonder, much further than it appeared than this very moment.

As OJ scrambled back, still reaching out for you, screaming your name to what fell on deaf ears, he fought with the dirt as Jean jacket almost spit it in his eyes. And as the wind continued picking up, jean jacket got even closer, allowing the both of you to see just the opening of its mouth. OJ grappled, watching as a chill ran over his frame, while the pressure from Jean jacket flipped you onto your torso.

Your screams on the other hand, were not unheard.

OJ tussled (from being knocked back onto his bottom as well) to get to your outstretched hands. Which seemed to upset Jean jacket even further as you suddenly gripped your nails deep into the dirt, however you seemed to be getting dragged inch by inch. Next, the creature did not have much patience, deciding to lift the walls of the arena.

Would it collapse?

It barely held in the first place as wood began to fall in between the space of you and OJ. You could feel your nails cracking and beginning to bleed but that did not stop you from holding on.

There wasn’t much you knew about this UFO but the spluttering from it signaled that it was agitated with you two. Wrestling to lift your head up at OJ, it was your turn to watch in horror as another slab of wood went flying in his direction, slapping his face with a impact that shifted his entire body to one side. You couldn’t scream for him because the next thing you know, your body was lifting itself and you were flung to the side of the walls with a scream of your own.

It felt like two sacks of sands were sitting over your eyes and you fought like hell to get them open. Maybe if you kept them closed longer, you wouldn’t feel the immense pain that was beginning to settle in. You groaned, trying to move your limbs but you felt something holding your face in place.

That’s when your body jolted upwards with a shock, not knowing where you were and what was happening.

“Hey, hey, hey. Baby, it’s me.” OJ’s voice was heard and you instantly relaxed but visibly winced.

Your vision wasn’t straight and it was hard to focus on OJ’s features but one thing is for sure? You could smell blood, whether it be from his body or your own—that stench was evident.

“Looks like we’ve been out for awhile,” His knuckle brushed against your cheek as you tried to focus on your breathing, “How you feeling?”

Huffing out air from your nostrils, a snarky response was written on your stained face but you blinked multiple times to see a figure at the opening of the arena. “Like I should fight that—that—animal over there or hug it.”

Another round of red flags silently went off in OJ’s head as you stuttered trying to figure out Lucky’s name. Without question, his fingertips moved around your coils feeling for what he suspected and earning a loud hiss from you.

Slapping his wrist, “stop touching me! Let me go back to sleep, please.”

“There’s a first,” OJ lightly joked while you lolled your head around a bit, “you definitely been concussed. And we can’t stay here any longer.”

“Hm?” It was your turn for the short replies now.

Gently but firm, OJ got you to your feet and tried to lean you against what was left of the arena’s walls while he went towards lucky who patiently waited. He whistled him over, thrilled that he actually came to him as he whispered sweet nothings to the animal, patting his backside and encouraging him to lead the way out of Jupiter’s claim.

He noticed you sliding against the wall and rushed over to you, catching you before you slid back against the ground. “Stay with me, baby.”

“Always.” You gargled, finding your footing.

OJ tried to steady you but found this situation to be difficult. It was dark out and no one wanted to be out in the dark with Jean jacket lingering in the clouds. That was almost more frightening than the day time. So OJ sniffed, pinching his nostrils before he easily lifted you into his arms and began to speed walk beside lucky who trotted along.

“Phone.” OJ tried to not scratch at his already crusted over wound on his forehead as he sat beside you in the driver’s seat.

When he didn’t get any service with his simple flip phone, he searched the passenger seat for yours, finding it underneath the seat. And of course a flashing red battery was what he was met with. OJ sucked his teeth, tossing the glove compartment open for the extra car charger that (you purposely left) fit the more “up to date phones” and plugged yours in.

Looks like he wouldn’t be calling anyone for this thirty minute drive. OJ glanced at you, making sure that you were buckled in before he took the car out of park.

“Hey, babe. Where’s my—what do they call them? Spectacles. The extra things I need to see.” You pointed at your eyes, your head rolling around on the head rest.

OJ kept peering over at you as he drove pass a gas station followed by some hills, “shit, your glasses? Yeah. They were completely broken back there, sorry about that. I think you left your old pair back at the house, up in my room. You’ll be alright.”

“Yeah…I’ll just be blind as fuck for the rest of the night.” You slurred, “I really want to sleep.”

“No! No, keep those pretty eyes open for me.”

“You’re pretty.” You mocked, making the man smirk at you in the night.

“I’ll even put on some music, keep you awake.”

“Some gospel?”

OJ was shocked at that.

“You really want to hear gospel?”

“I know you’d rather listen to…dill pickles?”

“…what, y/n?” OJ sighed, he knew that was a cartoon but he just knew you were trying to tease him about some genre he didn’t listen to.

“That country singer. Kane something.” You sighed, “I can’t think straight…my head hurts.”

“I know, we’ll get you some ice soon. I promise, we just need to get in doors before—

OJ trailed off as he actually turned the radio on for you. He twirled the nozzle in search of the gospel station. You came from a religious background and that’s how OJ met you, through his mother, when the Haywood’s would attend your father’s church every other Sunday.

That of course faltered when his mother passed when he was around twelve or so. His father tried to keep up with attending, knowing that’s what his wife would have wanted but soon found the horses took up much more of his time along with raising two kids all on his own. Thankfully OJ still got to see you at school…and you’ve been together since you were seventeen.

Now just hold on (hold on)

Change is coming (change is coming)

Hold on (hold on)

Don't worry (don't worry 'bout a thing)

Hold on (hold on)

You can make it (you can make it)

Hold on (hold on)

Everything (everything will be alright)

Is gonna be alright

“I love this song.” You sniffed, your voice soft.

OJ knew that, which is why a feeling told him to stop here after messing with staticky stations. It was one of your comfort songs and that’s all he wanted to bring you after the both of you were basically fighting for your lives miles ago.

And when you reached your battered hand out for his, OJ didn’t hesitate to interlock your fingers together. Then slowly you felt the prickle of his facial hair on the back of your hand as he placed a kiss there. A small smile graced your dry lips while OJ held onto your hand, with the other gripping the wheel, his body sitting up, which meant he was about to float this piece.

You were his happy place and he was your safety.

And he didn’t let go of your hand for the rest of the night. Not even when you arrived at the ranch, the jolting of the land making you puff your cheeks.

“I need to throw up.”

Thankfully the both of you weren’t far from the house, OJ spotting Angel’s van not too far from his own now parked truck.

“Okay. You need me to help you out?” OJ asked, although the thought of watching you puke made his own stomach turn.

Freeing your hand, you held it up to him, your other shaky hand reaching around to unbuckle yourself. OJ dipped his head as he began to unbuckle himself and open the door. That feeling came around again, almost like a whisper, telling OJ to look up.

And when OJ caught Jean jacket, hovering above with a triangle rainbow garland hanging from it…Immediately he got back into the car with a slam of the door. He quickly turned to you, already waiting for his eye and you gently shook your head with a hand over your mouth.

“Uh uh.” You managed to get out, lips tightly pressed together and a face so pale in the moonlight.

OJ held out his hand, palm up for you to place your hand back in his, “Nope.”

It was decided, no matter the yonder between you two and Jean jacket, the both of you agreed to stay put in the car for the night…

And the horse statue that collided with your side of the windshield…only made your plans for the night, much more clear.

↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉‧₊˚✧ ↳ ** ༉

Continue along with my summer anthology prompts here.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

chapter 2 - no such thing as a white lie (lt. bradley “rooster” bradshaw)

a/n: yeah i know everyone and their cats have written dogfight football into their fics but i eat that shit up nom nom. enjoy. also, i’m dead serious that divorce in the military is really fucking complicated. s/o to @struggling-with-nsfw​ for forever listening to me complain about it and helping me struggle my way through. if you asked to be added to the tag list but don’t see yourself on there, i am so sorry! some of the asks got lost in the sift of notifications so please just shoot me another message!

summary: “Why is a divorce in the military more complicated than regular divorces?”

“I don’t know, because it’s the military? Just give me these.”

-

The idiots realize they’re up against way more than they originally anticipated. In the meantime, there’s time for shenanigans and some good ol’ dogfight football. 

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | flight risk masterlist | story description | chapter 1 - how did we get here? | chapter 3 - heartache and heartbreak

folks who wanted to be tagged: @justanothermagicalsara​ @jake-h-ngm-n-seresin @fangirl-316​ @herladyshipxx​ @callsign-valley​ @parker-natasha​ @myhomeworksnotdone​ @kyramaximoff​ @pulisvertz​ @lass-that-is-gone​ @frenchtoastix​ @coco-loco-nut​ @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy​ @torresbarnes​ @skyes-universe​ @supernaturaldawning​ @you-had-me-at-dead-welsh-kings​ @katiemcrae​ @gretagerwigsmuse​ @the-winter-marvel33​ @some-lovely-day​ @unordinare​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @annedub​ @hope-love-equality2​ @coyotesamachado​ @hopefulinlove​ @deidreexx

warnings: swearing, angst, flashbacks, Bradley’s an idiot, y’all asked for a flirty Hangman and jealous Rooster and I’m more than happy to deliver, the movie had one job and that was explain dogfight football obviously, is this even good idk

word count: 4,478

"You’re up bright and early.” You turn from where you’re making pancakes to see a half-asleep Bradley, still in his pajamas. You try not to let your eyes trail down to where his sweats hug his waist. You bring your gaze back up to meet his eyes, where he’s rubbing the sleep out of them. You shrug. 

"We’re going to the beach today, remember? Didn’t want to be running late.” Truth was that you hadn’t been able to sleep, too preoccupied as you thought about your impending divorce to the brunette who was letting you stay in his guest room and the ever-growing knawing in your chest at the thought. He yawns, settling at the table. 

“Oh yeah. You don’t have to go to that if you don’t want to.” You roll your eyes as you pull the last of the pancakes off the stove. 

“We do have to sell the lie Bradley. Besides, I like the beach and don’t have anything better to do.” He nods but doesn’t say anything as you set the pancakes down on the table. He smiles at you as you turn around to grab plates out of the cabinet. 

“Why, thank you honey. We make such a good married couple.” He drawls and you roll your eyes. 

“Yeah well, you’re getting your own coffee.” You say as you sit back down, grabbing your own cup. He sighs dramatically as he pushes himself up from the table. You snicker into your mug as he rounds the table, grabbing his own mug and pouring himself a cup. “Drama queen.” You mutter as you began to grab pancakes. He scoffs in response as he returns to his seat. “What is dogfight football anyways?” 

“It’s football but offense and defense at the same time.” You stare at him, mid-bite.

“How the hell does that work?” He shrugs, grabbing pancakes of his own. 

“I don’t know, it just does. Started out as a team bonding activity but now it’s really just a way for us to all hang out.” You nod. 

“Who’s all going to be there?” 

He pauses for a moment as he chews. “The whole crew from the other night, along with everyone else. So Halo, Omaha, Fritz, Yale, and Harvard are the new ones.”

“God, I suck with names.” You mutter and he chuckles. 

“You’ll be okay. Halo’s the only other girl and Yale and Harvard got their names because they never shut the fuck up about their time at Yale and Harvard. You’ll get the other two pretty quickly.” You nod. “Oh, and Mav will be there.” 

“Mmm, speaking of, how do you think last night went?” The two of you had gone over to Maverick’s place for dinner, and Iceman had been there. He tilts his head, a sign he’s thinking the words over. 

“I think it went pretty okay. Mav loves you obviously.”

“Obviously.” 

He smirks. “But yeah, I think Ice bought it?” 

You raise your eyebrows. “Really?”

“Do you not?”

“Either he didn’t buy it or he didn’t like me.” Bradley chuckles. 

“No, that’s just how he is. Ice is just very... stone-cold. He earned the callsign Iceman for a reason.” Bradley glances up at you, taking in the disbelief on your face, and shakes his head. “Sunshine, I’m serious. He told me last night that I did good. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Everyone likes you and no one suspects a thing.” You snort. 

“Phoenix does not like me.” He sighs, setting his fork down on his plate. 

“Yeah, well, that might have something to do with the fact that I told Phoenix.” You widen your eyes. 

“Not that I care but doesn’t that go against the whole point of lying?” He shrugs. 

“She suspected something was up anyways. She just thought we were separating.”

“Technically, that’s not untrue.” You remind, pointing a finger at him. 

“Yeah, I know. But I’ve known her for a long time, didn’t feel right to lie to her.”

“So, you’ll lie to Maverick but not Phoenix?” He shoots you a look and you throw your hands up in the air in surrender. “Fine, fine, whatever.” You mumble. “While we’re speaking about it, have you actually looked into the process for getting a divorce?” 

He shrugs. “Kind of, why? Shouldn’t be that complicated if it’s uncontested.” 

“Okay, have you looked into getting divorces in the military?” He pauses, looking up at you. 

“Is it different?” You narrow your eyes, leaning forward. 

“Bradley, yes.” You sigh, putting your fork down as you grab the stack of papers  you had printed off at three am last night that were sat off to the side. His eyes widen as he takes them from you, flipping through them. 

“When did you have time to look at all this?” 

You shrug. “Last night. Couldn’t sleep. I ended up going down a rabbit hole.”

“Why is a divorce in the military more complicated than regular divorces?” He mutters.

“I don’t know, because it’s the military? Just give me these.” You say, grabbing the papers from him. He sighs. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll see if I can’t figure this out.” You sigh, rolling your eyes. 

“We’re gonna need outside help. Did you know the Navy will provide us both with free legal counsel but not legal representation?” He snorts. 

“That’s not a thing.” 

“Yes, it is!”

“Where’d you learn that?”

“Google.” 

“Google’s an unreliable source.” He says and you shoot him a look in return, tossing the papers on the counter. 

“Fine, you figure it out. I’m going to get ready for the beach.” 

-

The car door shuts behind you as you sigh, welcoming the warmth of the sun on your skin. You make your way to the group of pilots who are standing with Penny and who you think is her daughter Amelia. Bradley grabs your hand as you get closer. It’s for appearances, you remind yourself as Penny turns, waving the two of you over. He squeezes your hand as you reach the group but you’re unsure if he even realizes that he does it. 

“Bradshaw! Sunshine!” Fanboy exclaims and you roll your eyes, even though they can’t see it from behind your sunglasses. The pilots exchange greetings as Penny offers you a hug. 

“This is my daughter Amelia.” She says, gesturing to her daughter, who’s sat on the blankets, watching the pilots goof off. You smile, setting your bag down and sitting next to her. 

“Mav said we could start without him.” Coyote says, slinging an arm around one of the unfamiliar pilots shoulders. “Something about oversleeping.” Bradley nods. 

“Oh, by the way. Omaha, Fritz, Halo, Yale, Harvard, this is my wife.” You wave to the pilots and they give various greetings. 

“Are we playing or what?” Hangman calls from further down the beach, where he’s already standing with Payback, Phoenix, and Bob. Bradley hesitates and turns to look at you. 

“You good if I leave you here?” You nod, giving him two thumbs up. He offers you a goofy grin and jogs after his friends and you find yourself smiling at his retreating figure. You chat mindlessly with Penny as you watch the group spread out, creating makeshift teams. Penny snickers as you watch the men of the group pull their shirts off. You’d always known Bradley to be attractive and you’d known the Navy had done him favors but damn. And well, Hangman wasn’t entirely hard on the eyes either. 

“You’re admiring.” Amelia teases and you shoot her a look. 

“Listen, I might be married but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to look.” You say, eyes already following Bradley again as he tackles Hangman. You had overheard the two yelling about being team captains, which sounded on brand for the little Bradley had shared with you about their friendship. Your statement pulls a laugh from Penny. 

“You’re only watching Bradley sweetheart.” She says, flipping a page in her magazine. You blush as Amelia snickers. 

“You’d never know the two of you have been married as long as you have with the way you look at the boy.” Your cheeks grow hotter as you turn to see Maverick grinning at you. He leans down to give Penny a kiss and you turn to Amelia, sharing a knowing smirk with her. 

“I thought they weren’t dating.” You fake-whisper, well aware the adults behind you can hear you. 

“They’re not.” She fake-whispers back and the two of you giggle as you turn back to the couple behind you. Maverick rolls his eyes and Penny shakes her head, suppressing a smile. Maverick heads down the beach and you watch as the group greets him. You sigh, sitting up to grab your book from your bag. 

“Sunshineeeee!” Hangman calls and you look up to see him jogging towards you. 

“What?”

“Come play, our numbers are off since Pops joined.” You sigh, standing up. 

“I guess I could, but I probably won’t be any good.” He shakes his head. 

“Doesn’t matter, Bradshaw will kill us if we hurt a hair on his wife’s pretty little head.” You snort as you pull your shirt off. He lets out a low-whistle and you feel yourself blush. “His pretty little wife, who’s also got a pretty-”

“Hangman.” Penny says sternly and you snicker. You pull your hair up as you follow the blond back down the beach. The group turns to you as you approach. 

“Okay, how do I play?” Maverick turns. 

“You’ll be on Hangman’s team.” Bradley grumbles and you give the brunette a side glance. Probably just to keep up appearances, you tell yourself. “It’s offense and defense at the same time. We really just need you to even out our numbers, so don’t worry too much.” 

“See, I watched Phoenix tackle Fanboy earlier so I think maybe I should be worried.” You say cautiously, biting your lip. She laughs, shaking her head. 

“I won’t tackle you, I swear.” You’re not entirely sure you believe her but nod anyways as the groups break apart. The game passes without much work on your part, the pilots competitive streaks doing most of the work. Eventually, you and Bob call it quits and you sit down next to the pilot, a little ways away from the group. Bob snickers as you once again get distracted watching Bradley chest bump with Coyote. He shakes his head and you look at him, sheepish. He opens up his mouth to say something but he’s interrupted by Fanboy loudly announcing he’s done and the group, save for Hangman, Phoenix, and Bradley, agrees. Rooster and Phoenix are off to the side talking to Maverick and Hangman waves you over. You bid Bob goodbye as he turns, trekking his way back up the sand with the rest of the group. 

“Yes Hangman?” You call and he smirks. 

“We're gonna throw the ball around a little bit, figured you might want to join us.” You shrug, placing your hands on your waist. 

“Sure, but I won’t be very good. Lack of coordination and all that.” He nods, handing you the foam football. 

“I know, which is why I’m gonna show you how to throw it.” He shows you how to properly wrap your hands around it, positioning your feet, and even goes so far as to help guide your arms, something he could’ve easily done without putting his hands on you. It’s a move that doesn’t go unnoticed by the three a bit away from you and you certainly don’t miss Bradley’s frown at the sight of it. Once they’ve turned back to their conversation, Hangman lets you go and takes a step back. “Alright, should be good to go. Throw the ball.” You do and it hits Bradley square in the back. You wince, feeling yourself go red. Hangman’s roaring with laughter as the three turn to face you. 

“Sorry Bradley.” You call, cringing at what you did. Maverick chuckles, turning to walk back up the beach. 

“You’d do well to remember what I said about adultery Seresin.” Maverick calls as he walks away and you find yourself going even redder at the comment. Phoenix is laughing as Bradley grabs the football from the ground. They move towards you and you smile sheepishly at him. 

The football begins to get passed between the four of you, not going entirely well. Your throw is improving bit by bit, but the catching skills just quite aren’t there. The ball almost never stays in your grasp and more often than not, you miss it entirely. There’s chatter passing between the pilots as you sit there and listen in, finding a comfort in the friendship the three seem to share. 

Eventually, Hangman and Phoenix call it quits and turn to make their way back up the beach. A few more passes get thrown between the two of you until you make a particularly sweet catch and Rooster lets out a whistle. You laugh, turning on your heel and bolting down the beach. 

“Wha- Hey, that’s not part of the game!” He yells behind you and a quick glance behind you tells you that despite his comment, he’s chasing you down the beach. Perfect. 

“It is now!” You yell back and continuing running down the beach. You’ll never be able to outrun him but the cheers of his team spur you on as you move towards the water, hoping the muddy sand will slow his pace. It doesn’t though and all too soon, you feel a body collide with yours, nearly tipping you into the water below. The football falls out of your hands as you yelp. Bradley’s arms come out to wrap around you, lifting you up and keeping you from falling into the water. You turn your head, meaning to give him a witty comment, when you realize how close he is to you. 

Your eyes flicker down to his lips and you swallow. 

He’s right there. 

“Gotcha.” He whispers, licking his lips. 

The waves are cascading over your feet and up onto your knees and thighs but you find you don’t care. 

It would be so easy to just-

Your heart is hammering against your chest and it feels like everything stops when he leans ever so closer-

Hangman lets out a yell, something distinct and in the distance but it’s enough to break the two of you out of your bubble. He slowly lets you down, feet hitting the sand, but his arms don’t move as he looks at you for a moment longer. You wiggle out of his arms, taking a step back. Moment’s over. 

This isn’t real. 

You sigh as you take another step back, turning to find the football you had dropped. 

This wasn’t real. Get it together.

Bradley lets out a low whistle, spotting the foam football before you do. You follow his gaze, finding it a few moments after he does. If you squint, you can see the neon green bobbing in the distance, floating away from the two of you with the tide, waves carrying it further out to sea with every passing moment. 

“Well, we’re not getting that football back.” 

“Sorry.” You mutter, heat rising to your cheeks. If it has more to do with the moment that just passed between you and Bradley then the lost football, well then, that’s between you and the universe. 

“No worries, it’s like what, $5 dollars? Footballs can be replaced.” 

You nod numbly, shouldering past him to move back up the beach. Tears prick at your eyes as you let out a few deep breathes, willing yourself to hold it together as you near the group. 

It’s never been real. 

Bradley arrives just behind you, him arm finding his way across your shoulder as he begins discussing plans for the rest of the afternoon with his team. His hand is sitting on your shoulder, gently rubbing circles into the skin, a movement you don’t think he’s conscious of. 

It makes your skin burn. 

You wish he wasn’t touching you, that you didn’t have to be so close to him, to have to continue to pretend. 

The sound of the group making plans is a distant noise and you only realize they’ve decided to disperse as everyone packs their things. Bradley hands you a bag to take back to the Bronco and you numbly head towards the parking lot, him hanging back to finish up his conversation with Maverick. You’re just shutting the door of the back, turning to go climb in the front seat when you come face-to-face—well, it’s more like face-to-chest—with Hangman. You don’t miss the fact that he’s still not wearing a shirt. You swallow as your back hits the side of the Bronco and you look up at him, one of his arms coming up to rest against the side of your head, sitting on the truck. You could easily move if you wanted to, and you know he did that on purpose. He leans down, hot breath fanning against your ear. 

“I know.” He whispers. 

“Know what?” 

“That this thing between you and Bradshaw isn’t real.”

You move to jerk away but he’s faster, other hand coming down to wrap around your wrist. 

“How the hell-”

“Phoenix told me. Told all of us.” He supplies, not moving his head. “You know, you’re far too pretty to let Bradshaw lead you on like this.”

“He’s not leading me on. There was an agreement made between us. It’s never been real.”

It’s never been real.

He sighs, only pulling away enough to look you in the eyes. “You really going to tell me you don’t have more than just friend feelings for him?” 

Everything freezes as your breath catches in your throat. 

You do successfully jerk away from him now, pushing him back. His hand drops and he lets go of your wrist. You mutter a “Fuck off.” right as Bradley’s appearing, stepping between you and Hangman, pushing him farther back. 

“What the hell Hangman?” Hangman doesn’t respond, just puts his hands up in surrender as he takes a few more steps back. 

“I got what I wanted.” He says and turns, walking back towards his truck where Coyote is watching him. 

“Yeah, get lost Hangman! Stay away from my wife!” Bradley shouts and your roll your eyes at the words, slipping out from behind him. He turns, reaching out for you and narrowly missing your arm as you round the truck, climbing into your seat. The truck is warm as you lean back against your seat and you take comfort in the heat. You close your eyes and you hear Bradley climb into the car a few moments later. You keep your eyes firmly closed as he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot, heading back towards his house. Somewhere along the way, Bradley starts talking, even though your eyes are still closed. 

“You asleep?” You shake your head, although you are sleepy. The day and the sun and the heat of the car is making you curl up, wanting to take a nap right there. 

“Just tired.” You mumble. 

“Yeah, I bet. Hey, the team is all gonna go get dinner and some drinks in a few hours if you want to come with?” You don’t say anything, not wanting to spend any more time pretending for people who already knew the truth anyways. He sighs as he makes a turn. “Well, why don’t you shower and let me know?” You shrug, eyes still shut. You drive for a little while longer and eventually, you feel him pull into his driveway. You keep your eyes closed, not wanting to move just quite yet. Bradley lets out a soft chuckle and you can hear him unbuckle his seatbelt after turning the car off, leaning over the center console. He pokes your shoulder and you jerk away from him, eyes fluttering open. “Whoa, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. We’re home.” 

We’re home. 

His choice of words makes your throat close up, words that in any other context would’ve sounded domestic, would’ve sounded sweet. A couple returning to their home after a day out, ready for a shower and a nap together, before getting dinner later. 

It’s not your home.

You unbuckle your seatbelt, climbing out of the car and shutting the door behind you. You unlock the door with your key as Bradley grabs the bags from the back and you welcome the cool air-conditioning of the home. It ripples over your skin, creating goosebumps in its wake. You all but collapse on the couch as Bradley sets the things down, shutting the front door behind him. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go shower, okay?” You nod as you shift to pull your legs up towards your chest. The sounds of the shower turn on and you sit there, eyes looking over the photos on the wall. The other night, you had asked Bradley about them while eating dinner together. He’d gotten up form the table, taking you by the wrist, going through and telling you about each and every one of them. 

One of his parents. They’re young, happy, and smiling. He’d said the photo was taken the night before their wedding. 

Another with his parents. Bradley couldn’t have been more than three years old in the photo. 

One with his Mom at his 10th birthday, his little chubby cheeks rosy, blowing out his candles. 

One from his 7th birthday, on Maverick’s shoulders, a toy plane in his hand. 

Another one with Maverick from a few months ago. You had been told Maverick had the same picture in his hangar. The picture had been taken after their mission that had brought them back together.

One from his graduation at UVA, the black robe with his orange stole adorning him as he stands there with his empty diploma holder. His smile is bright and you remember that day like it was yesterday. 

You had taken that photo of him. 

Graduation was a busy affair and you looked around, seeing if there were any friends you hadn’t gotten to say goodbye to when you spotted him. He was off to the side, watching the families celebrate with a hard look on his face. You called out his name and he turned, a small smile appearing. He moved a few feet towards you and you picked up the pace, meeting him in the middle. You offer him a big smile, adjusting the purse on your shoulder. 

“Bradley, hey, congrats!” 

He chuckles, looking away from you. “Yeah, hey, thanks.” 

“Can I give you a hug or is that weird?” He shakes his head, tassel knocking into his face, reaching an arm out for you. You give him a side-hug, a little too disappointed when it was over. 

The two of you weren’t good friends, maybe friends of a friend, but you liked the brunette and had always hoped to get to know him better. Guess your chance had come and gone. 

“Hey, you’re all alone.” 

He shrugs, looking back over to the crowd outside the stadium. “Yeah, Eli got dragged off by his sister, wanted to take pictures in front of the business building.” 

You nod as his gaze come back to you. “Well, do you want me to take pictures of you?” He hesitates for a moment and then nods, fishing a camera out of his pocket. He adjusts his robe and cap as you take a step back. 

“Fix your stole.” You call and he look down, doing so and then placing his diploma holder in his hands. “Okay, smile!” He does, his dimples popping out and you smile as you capture a few pictures.

Graduation had been months before your marriage agreement, before a tentative friendship began to build between the two of you. But it had started there, with that photo. 

If you could do it all over, would you change any of it?

“Hey, you still haven't showered.” You glance up at him, startling out of your thoughts. 

He was freshly showered, brown hair still damp as it sticks to his forehead. He’s in a fresh pair of shorts, t-shirt clinging to him. Whatever you mean to say to him, whatever excuse you were going to come up with, are overriden by the words that fight their way off your tongue. 

“Hangman knows.” 

He pauses in his walk towards the couch, looking down at you. “What do you mean he knows?”

“He knows. They all know. Phoenix told them.” 

He stares at you, mouth gaping open. “Wh-what?” 

“Look, I don’t want to go tonight.” 

He sighs, but nods. “That’s- that’s fine, I guess. What do you want me to tell them?”

“I don’t know, you figure it out.” You sigh, moving off the couch. “Look Bradley, if you want to lie to Maverick, keeping up some sort of story, some sort of act, for your relationship with him, that’s your business. I think it’s kind of fucked up that you’re lying to him but as your friend, I’ll support you in doing what you think is right. Because quite frankly I don’t know these people and it’s not really any of my business. But God, I didn’t come all the way out here to try and make friends with people who are just going to be ripped out from under me when this is all over, when all is said and done. When the dust settles, you’ll be fine. And so will I, but excuse me for not wanting to get attached to people who won’t be my friend in two months time.”

He gapes at you, one of his hands coming out to wave around in front of him dramatically. “Where the hell is this coming from? You knew what you signed up for. You agreed to do this for me because you’re my friend.” 

You push past him, moving towards the stairs. “Yeah, and that’s the problem.” 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” You let out a shaky breath, grip on the staircase banner tightening and then loosening again before you turn around to face him. He’s standing a few feet behind you on the bottom step and you take a step down, semi-closing the distance between the two of you. You set your hands on his shoulders, taking a deep breath to steel yourself. 

“Nothing, it’s supposed to mean nothing. Just... go to dinner, have fun with your friends. It’s fine, don’t worry about it, I’m just tired.” You swallow as you turn back around moving up the stairs and into the guest room. The door shuts behind you with a soft click and your heart clenches with the fact that he let you walk away with no protest. You didn’t know if that made you feel better or worse. 

Get it together. 

It’s not real.

[roonyxx]

Second

okay guys third and LONGEST fic I wrote is done, I hope y’all enjoy yourselfs. A big shout out to my friend @jay-and-dean​ for helping me and supporting me! make sure to check her work out too, she is AMAZING!!!

feedback is gold!!

Summary: you have been living with the boys for 4 years now, what happens when Dean, the man you love, brings home his girlfriend?

Warnings: ANGST, sad reader, unrequited love, heartbreak oh and MORE ANGST.

Pairings: Sam, reader, Dean x Natalie.

Wordcount: 2980

tags: @jay-and-dean​

My masterlist

You were sitting in the kitchen enjoying your morning coffee, when Sam came back from his morning run.

“Hey y/n, sleep good?”

You were holding you mug tight between your two hands enjoying the hot beverage, you hummed “I slept alright, what about you sasquatch? How was the run?”

Sam took some cereal and sat across from you. “It was alright, I ran into that waitress from the diner Dean always eat at.”

You looked up at him “The one Dean likes? Natalie?”

Sam looked down at his cereal. “Yeah uhm, she told me she was coming over tonight.”

You chocked on your coffee, “What?! She’s coming over? Why?”

Sam looked at you now “Yeah, apparently things are getting serious between them and Dean wants to bring her over for dinner, I tried to talk him out of it but he really likes her.”

You put your mug down and you started to fiddle with the spoon in your mug. “Dean never bring girls to the bunker. Let alone introduce them…”

Sam gave you a sad look “ I’m really sorry y/n I tried to talk to him to not bring her here, I can drop you off somewhere, tell Dean you had business to attend to?”

You looked up at him and gave him a small smile, he always tries to cheer you up, even if that is impossible. “No no, it’s fine, I’ll help with diner and besides I wanna meet the girl.”

To be honest, that was the last thing you wanted, you didn’t want to see how perfect and beautiful this girl was, you didn’t want to see the way Dean would look at her, the way you want him to look at you. The thought of sitting at the same table as them had you heart clenching.

But Dean’s happiness was your number one priority, he deserves so much, he deserves the world, hell he deserves more than the world! So you will sit at the table, you wanted to make sure this ‘Natalie’ is perfect for him.

When Dean came in the kitchen he told you that he is bringing over Natalie for dinner tonight.

You looked in Dean’s direction, but not in his eyes, afraid he would see the sadness written all over your face. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Dean fell silent for a moment and took a deep breath “ I don’t know, but it feels like it. So yes she is my girlfriend.” He looked so damn happy when he said that.

You felt a lump in your throat and your eyes were prickling with unshed tears, you cleared your throat “I’m gonna take a shower, yell if you need help with diner.” You quickly took of to your room so Dean wouldn’t see the tears in your eyes.

You heard knocking on your door. “Come in” the door opened to reveal Sam on the other side “Hey y/n it’s almost dinner time, Dean wants you to help set the table.”

You looked up from your laptop where you had been watching Netflix all day, “Yeah give me a minute to get ready and I’ll be there.”

After Sam left your room you walked to your closet “Do I need to wear something special?” You looked down at yourself to see you were wearing the sweatpants and flannel from Dean. “Well I definitely can’t wear this.” You changed into some tight jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt.

When you looked in the mirror you saw your red puffy eyes from crying, you sighed and threw some water in your face and after wards put some make up on to conceal your sadness.

“Okay Dean tell me what I need to do.” You said once you entered the kitchen.

“Uhm here take these plates and put them on the table, oh and a bottle of red wine with some glasses please!” He was nervous, trashing around, making sure everything was clean.

You did as you were told. Sam came up behind you  “you doing okay?”

You sighed deep “Jezus Sam, stop asking that, it’s not helping.”

“Sorry, I just don’t wanna see you get hurt”

You turned around and looked at him. “That’s sweet Sam, but I already am so please stop worrying about me, I’m used to it…”

He looked confused at you. “What do you mean ‘used to it’?”

“Please Sam just drop it and help me get this ready, the sooner this is over the better.”

“Yeah okay sorry”

Soon enough everything was ready and Dean got a text

“She’s here, okay so no embarrassing stories or photos and not to much hunter talk, her dad was one but she is not okay?”

Both you and Sam nodded.

The knocking on the front door had all of you looking up, Dean jumping to the front door to open it

“Hey baby, you look gorgeous.” Dean said as he gave her a passionate but quick kiss.

She hummed happily in the kiss. “Well you clean up nice too.”

He smiled and led her down the stairs, “Come I’ll introduce you to everyone”

You and Sam were standing at the war table.

“Natalie this big fella, is Sam my not so little brother.” she smiled and gave him a hand, “ Well Sam nice to officially meet you.” In which Sam answered. “Nice to finally meet you too Natalie.”

Dean turned to you then, “And this little girlie is y/n she’s a friend of ours, she is like the little sister we never had.” You hoped he didn’t see you flinch at the word sister.

“Nice to finally meet you y/n! I heard a lot about you.”

“Only good things I hope.” You said as cheerfully as you could.

Now that everyone officially met you all took seat at the table, you sat next to Sam and opposite of Dean, next to him Natalie.

She was looking around the bunker. “This place is amazing! It’s so big.”

Dean started chuckling as he watched her. “Yeah and completely free, we are legacies and this place is for us, this thing is so big, we still haven’t explored everything”

Natalie looked at you. “So you live here too?”

“Yeah I have a room down the hall, there are like dozens of rooms here.”

Dinner went on and conversation flowed. Honestly you couldn’t find one flaw in Natalie, she was kind, smart, had the same humor as Dean and she was beautiful with her blond wavy hair, her ocean blue eyes, her full cleavage and long legs, she was everything you weren’t. sitting at the table with the adonises the Winchester were and the natural beauty she was, you felt yourself fade in the back ground. Not to say you are ugly but you were just you, nothing catches the eye, you were ordinary and plain, easily overseen by the eye.

Dinner was done and a second bottle of wine was shared between you and Natalie while the boys were drinking whiskey. They were talking and laughing but you stopped paying attention to that as soon as you saw Dean’s hand disappear under the table, most likely putting it on Natalie.

“Hey earth to y/n?” Dean said as he was waving his other hand.

“Wh- sorry what?” You looked at Dean wondered if he had catched you staring.

“Natalie asked you something.” He said

“Oh sorry I was zoned out, maybe I need to go easy on the wine.” You smiled and put your glass down, your attention now on Natalie

“I asked if you are in a relationship?” You looked around the table and noticed all eyes were on you.

“Uh no, no boyfriend for me.” You took your glass again and started to swirl the wine, hoping they would drop it.

Dean looked at you now. “Actually when was the last time you had a boyfriend? I don’t remember you ever dating a guy?”

You looked at Dean and back down at the table. You felt the lump in your throat when you said. “ 12 years ago…”

Sam looked shocked at you while Dean chocked on his whiskey, Natalie patting his back.

“What?! 12 years?! So you were what uhh 14 years old?!”

You never told the boys that. You looked up at Dean. “Yeah I think so.”

“So you uh… never done it?” Dean looked at you like he was sorry for you, he pitied you.

“No Dean I’m not a virgin if that’s what you are worrying about, I got drunk once and well..”

“So you only did it once?! With some random guy at the bar?!” He sounded disgusted by you like you were some kind of slut.

“Yeah well Dean it’s not like the guys are lining up to me okay?! Please just drop it.” You downed your glass of wine and filled it again, there was an awkward tension hanging now, Sam changed the subject by asking about Natalie where she was born, what schools she went to and etc.

You fell silent again and just listened in on the conversation while you drank more wine. It was getting late and every one was getting tipsy from all the drinks, Natalie stood up. “I think it’s time for me to head home.”

“No!” Dean yelled as he stood up. “I uh I mean you could always stay over.” She smiled at that “Dean Winchester, eager boy huh?” Dean smiled and put his hands around her waits to kiss her passionately and heated, this time it was not quick, soon they both forgot Sam and you were still in the room because hands were wandering and Natalie started moaning, Sam cleared his throat loudly. “Guys please we don’t need to see that”

Dean chuckled. “Oh right sorry, got caught up in the moment, we’ll uh continue else were.” He pulled Natalie to his room.

You sighed and took another sip of your wine, “How are you feeling?” Sam asked you.

“Peachy”

“Come on y/n, talk to me.”

“What is there to say Sam? Yes I love your brother and does it hurt to see him happy with someone else? Yes of course it does. But I’m used to it”

“That’s the second time you say that, what do you mean?”

“I mean that I’m never someone first choice Sam! There is always someone prettier or smarter or funnier! I’m always second Sam and I’m so tired of not being enough.”

“But y/n you are enough”

You chuckled darkly. “Yeah right, Sam please I’ve been single for 12 years, you can say what you want but those 12 years, they are proof that I’m not.”

“I wish you could see what I see.”

“Yeah, me too”

You were silent for a few minutes sipping some more wine.

“I’m gonna head to bed, y/n you should do the same.”

“Yeah I’ll just clean this up and I’ll go”

“Goodnight y/n”

“Night Sammy”

You cleaned up the empty bottles and glasses, and were on your way to your room when you saw that Dean’s door wasn’t completely closed. Your plan was to walk straight past it but when you heard your name you stopped.

“What do you mean you think y/n loves me?”

“Come on Dean it’s clear as day! The way she looks at you like, like you  are her whole world! Please tell me you are not that oblivious.”

“No that’s, no she is like my little sister! I love her but absolutely not in the romantic way, and I’m sure she doesn’t see me like that either.”

“Are you sure Dean because you have a special bond with her and I don’ t wanna come in between that.”

“No no baby, I’m 100 % sure, I mean I love her I really do but thinking about her in a romantic way kinda makes me feel sick, you know she’s just y/n nothing more nothing less.”

You were crying outside his door and that last sentence hit you hard, you let out a sob.

Dean heard you.

“Y/n is that you?”

He was getting out of bed, and you stared running towards your room, shutting your door and locking it.

He was at your door knocking. “Y/n? please let me in”

Sobbing you yelled. “No!”

“Y/n open this door now.”

You pulled your door open. “What Dean?!”

“You- you’re crying? So it’s true… you love me?”

“Yes Dean! I don’t see you as a brother and I’m sorry I make you feel sick!”

“No y/n I- I didn’t mean it like that I- I jus-“

“What Dean! You did mean it like that! Well I know I’m not the prettiest and that you are way out of my league but I still had hope that maybe you felt the same, but that’s clear now. Right?”

You looked at him and you saw nothing but pity in his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry y/n I don’t, how long?” He looked serious now.

“What?” You asked confused.

“How long have you been in love with me?”

“ Three years and 8 months.”

He sighed deep and wiped his hand over his face. “God damnit y/n!” He yelled

You flinched “Well sorry Dean, please go back to Natalie, be happy with her and just pretend like I’m not here.” You closed your door and slid down to the ground face in your hands.

You didn’t sleep, his words on repeat in your head all night long.

It was noon and you were still in bed, but you weren’t crying anymore, you felt nothing, just numb.

Sam came knocking on your door, you didn’t say anything but he came in anyway.

“Y/n? Why are you still in bed?”

You looked at him and he came closer. “Are you crying?”

“I did all night.”

“What happened?”

“Dean knows.”

“He knows? About your feelings? You told him?”

“No I heard him talking with Natalie about me, he said I make him feel sick. So yeah it’s safe to say he doesn’t feel the same.”

“And how are you dealing with all of this?” He looked at you with the same look Dean gave you last night.

“Honestly I don’t even know why I am crying, I saw this coming from miles away! I mean what would the Dean Winchester ever see in me? I’m nothing special, like he said, I’m just me, nothing more nothing less, he deserves better anyway.”

“Please don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“It’s the truth Sammy.”

He sat on your bed and hugged you tight. “You know, the right guy is out there for you, you just have to find him.”

You sniffed “I don’t want the right guy, I want Dean.”

He let go of you. “Please come eat something, Dean is not here so you won’t see him.”

You sat back against your headboard. “Thanks Sam maybe later, I just wanna be alone for some time okay?”

“Promise me you’ll eat something today?”

“I will Sammy”

You stayed in your room the entire day, watching Netflix or just staring at your ceiling.

It continued like this for the next few days only leaving your room for something to drink or a little snack.

You kept this unhealthy behaviour for the next few weeks, avoiding everyone in the bunker, keeping social interaction to a minimum.  

some weeks later when you emerged from your room for your afternoon coffee, Dean was also in the kitchen, you had lost a lot of weight because you were never hungry anymore. But you hid it in big t-shirts and sweatpants, but you just didn’t care anymore, so you wore your sleeping shorts.

You felt Dean’s eyes on you, “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“The pity, I don’t want it.”

“It’s not pity, I’m worried about you.”

“Well you shouldn’t, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Y/n you don’t look fine.”

“I never did Dean.”

“Stop the self-hate bullshit.” He stood up and looked you over.

“God damnit sweetheart you’re skin over bone! When is the last time you ate a real meal?”

“I don’t know, some cereal three days ago?”

“Okay sit now, I’m making you a burger.” He said sternly

“Dean stop I’m not hungry.” You were walking away when you felt him pick you up and placed you on a chair.

“I don’t care, you are going to eat, from now on I’ll be here everyday making sure you are eating and I’m not afraid to force you, you understand?”

You sighed. “What about Natalie, I don’t think she will like it when you are here all day long making me eat.”

At that Natalie came around the corner with a bag of groceries. “That’s why I’ll be helping him. I know you must hate me but I want to help.”

“I don’t hate you… how can I hate you when you make dean happy? His happiness is the most important thing to me.”

“Sweetheart, what about your own happiness?”

“To be honest, I don’t care about it.”

“Well we are going to help you care about it, alright? We are going to make you better.”

“Why?” You asked

Dean came closer and sat on his knees before you, taking your hands in his. “I care about you so much and I’m sorry I can’t return the feelings, I tried but I can’t, but I can help you get better so please let me help?”

You looked both at Dean and Natalie. “Okay, thank you Dean”

It’s a long way for you but with Dean by your side, even as his second choice, you know you will be alright.

Feedback is my fuel or buy me a coffee :D

[superbadassnatural]

Anything for You

Summary: Y/N got the answer she dreaded. Her heart was broken by a man who didn’t deserve her. The only solace she could find was the arms of her best friend. Square filled: Heartbreak Pairing: OMC x Reader // Dean x Reader Word count: 1,704 Warnings: cheating, angst, lil bit of fluff, Dean’s a cutie pie A/N: I’m back after what feels like forever! This was written for the amazing @supernatural-jackles​ Tell me a Story Bingo! Hope y’all enjoy!

(x)

“I’m only gonna ask you this once.” You searched for his brown eyes, forcing him to look at you. “Did you sleep with Lindsey?”

Your heart banged against your ribcage; pulse thumped in your ears.

Alex’s jaw ticked. There was nowhere he could go. He couldn’t run out of your bedroom and pretend nothing happened. He would have to face you eventually. He also couldn’t lie. If he did, it would haunt him. In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn’t worth lying. Even if you didn’t forgive him, he had nothing to lose. He ran his inked hand through his jet black hair, blowing out a breath.

“Yes.” He averted his gaze.

“Nu-uh” —you shook your head, trying to keep your voice from trembling— “Don’t be a coward. You certainly weren’t one when you fucked her. Now look me in the eye and tell me.”

“I slept with Lindsey,” he said, eyes locked in yours, voice void of emotion. “Happy now?”

“‘Happy now?’” you scoffed. “Are you serious? At least try to pretend you’re sorry.”

“Well, I am sorry. But I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

Your hands trembled as they balled into fists. You looked up, blinking away your tears. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve a single tear from you. You could cry once he’d left your house. Not now.

“Why?” your voice wavered. “Just tell me, why would you sleep with her and waste our relationship over one night?”

“I was drunk.”

“Cut the bullshit,” you snarled. “You were drunk, not unconscious. You knew what you were doing. It’s not like you thought she was me, ‘cause we certainly don’t look alike. Not ever our skin color is the same. Let alone our personalities. And it’s not like you tripped and fell naked into her bed.”

“I was drunk, and it clouded my better judgment.”

“Did it happen before?”

“No.”

“Was she the only one?”

“Yes.”

“God, you’re so stupid,” you scoffed with a shook of your head. “We’ve been together for four years. Four fucking years. You decided to waste all that in one night. You took our plans, our promises, our future and threw all of it in the trash.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Fuck you.” A snarl left your lips.

“I know I screwed up. You deserved a whole lot better than that. But couldn’t you see we were burning out?”

You glowered, eyes snapping at him. “Don’t you dare try to find any excuse for your mistake.”

“I hope one day you can forgive me.”

His eyes cast down, face ridden with shame.

“Do you regret it?” your voice trembled.

Alex remained silent. He wouldn’t meet your gaze. He didn’t move. He only took shallow breaths, chest barely rising and falling.

“Do you regret it?” You already knew the answer to your question. Yet the masochist in you had to hear him say it. You needed him to voice it, or else you would forgive him too easily.

“No.” His voice was as loud as a whisper.

“You’re gonna regret it eventually,” you said matter of factly. “Maybe not today, not tomorrow. Maybe not even next week. But you are going to regret it. One day you're gonna wake up and realize the one person who was loyal to you and loved you with their whole being is gone. Then you’re gonna be miserable. That’s when you regret it. When you realize how pathetic and heartless you are.”

He stood there silent. There wasn’t much he could say. He didn’t want to prolong this relationship. It was pointless to try and justify his actions or beg for forgiveness.

Pointing towards the door of your bedroom, you said through gritted teeth. “Get out of my house.”

Alex didn’t fight. He strode out of your room and down the stairs with nothing but a frustrated sigh and zingering eyes. The front door slammed shut. A thud echoed within the walls.

Your knees trembled before giving out and hitting the floor. A sharp pain coursed through your chest. You gasped, breaths shallow and rapid.

“Oh, my god.”

Tugging at the fabric of your shirt over your heart, you allowed a burning tear to fall. It hurt everywhere. Small needles pierced through your chest so deep. You could barely breathe as more tears rolled. Alex had plunged a keen knife into your aching heart and twisted as he watched it bleed.

Tears burned down your cheeks as your heart twitched and clamped within your ribcage. You sobbed, one hand latched on your chest and the other on your stomach. All you could see was the look on his face every time you closed your eyes. Not an ounce of remorse.

But couldn’t you see we were burning out?

His words echoed in your head and splintered your heart. The ache was almost unbearable.

The loud purr of the Impala sounded through the open window of your bedroom before getting cut. Dean was home.

You didn’t want him seeing you like this. Your hand came up to cup your mouth and muffle your sobs. You stared at the open door, trying to get your legs to stand so you could shut it.

“I’m home, and I brought ice cream,” Dean announced, followed by the thud of the front door shutting.

Your mouth opened, but no word came out. You prayed Dean, your roommate and best friend, would go straight to his room. But that wasn’t likely. He’d probably seen your car parked in the driveway, and he was going to check on you.

“Y/N/N? You home?”

More tears were shed. Logger boots sounded heavy on the stairs. Bowing and shaking your head, you closed your eyes tight. Opening them, you found Dean standing on the threshold. He heaved a deep sigh. The edge of his eyes softened as his lips pursed. He knew this moment would come eventually. He only hoped you wouldn’t be the one getting hurt.

You opened your mouth several times, but no sound came out, your throat sore, the ache too much to handle. Dean walked into the room. Green eyes fixated on you, he held out his hand. You shook your head, teeth scraping your bottom lip.

“I can’t,” you said, voice hoarse.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he pleaded. “Take my hand.”

Hesitant, you took it, and he helped you to stand. Dean tucked his arm under your legs, and the other supported your back as he held you to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck, sobbing. He sat on your bed, back rested on the headboard, with you on his lap.

“I’m sorry.” He kissed your temple, his fingers running up and down your arm. “He’s an ass.”

You shook your head. “It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s not, sweetheart.”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“I don’t. But I do know it’s not your fault.”

Dean leaned to meet your eyes, but you nuzzled into his chest, hiding from his gaze.

“Tell me what happened.”

“He cheated.”

His heart quickened, thudding against your ear. Dean drew a deep breath as his jaw ticked, nostrils flaring.

“Son of a bitch.”

“It’s not his fault. I-I let him.”

“No, sweetheart. It’s not your fault. It’s his.”

“He asked me to come to his friend’s party, and I said I had to study. If I’d been there, he wouldn’t have slept with Lindsey.”

“No, baby. He would’ve waited for you to go home or get distracted, only then he would leave to get his dick wet. He was going to cheat whether you were there or not.”

“Dean-“ you sobbed. The fabric of his shirt was wet with tears and snot.

“You did nothing wrong.” He lifted your chin; bloodshot eyes met forest greens. “He didn’t deserve you or your heart. And I know that doesn’t make it hurt any less, but try to get that through that pretty head of yours.”

You gave him a single nod.

God, how Dean wished you’d look at him differently. He could give you the love you deserve. He could make you the most adored woman to ever walk on earth. All he needed was for you to give him a chance. He could try and heal all the damage that was left. He would kiss your tears away and hold you until your heart was glued back together. He just needed you to say the word.

For now, he was going to hold you and pick all the shattered, tiny pieces of your heart. Once the tears had dried, he was going to help you place them together.

“He had my whole heart, and he broke it either way,” you sniffled.

“I promise you I’m gonna help you put it together after I go kick his ass.”

“Thank you.”

He kissed the top of your head. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

“You wanna know what’s the worst part?” Your voice was strangled. It hurt your throat to speak. Dean hummed, his hold on you tightening. “He wasn’t mad at what he did. He was mad because I found out.”

“He’s gonna get what he deserves, sweetheart,” Dean promised. “And remember, Alex was never worthy of you nor an ounce of your love. You’re better off without him.”

Nuzzling into his chest, you focused on his scent and his words. Dean was the best friend you could’ve ever asked for.

“No, please,” you protested, grabbing his wrist when he placed you on the bed by his side and attempted to stand up. “Don’t leave me.”

“I’m not leaving.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m gonna get us the ice cream I bought, I’ll be right back. Why don’t you turn on the tv? We could watch Modern Family. That episode we love. The one they sing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’.”

Your face lightened up slightly, eyes shining and this time it wasn’t because of new tears breeding.  

“Lake Life!”

“That’s the one.” Dean smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched as he started to walk out of your room to head to the kitchen. When he reached the door, you called.

“Dean?”

He turned. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

What did you think of this one? Please, consider sharing your thoughts with me via reply, reblog or ask!

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[jonahlovescoffee]

One Last Time | J.M.

a/n: hi im back with a new fic even tho it kinda sucks (???) because my skills are rusty but y’all better still love me <3

summary: after countless painful heartbreaks, jonah swore to never love again but for you, he might give it one last try.

warnings: angst with fluff in the end hehe

word count: 2250

Jonah was perfectly fine with living alone in LA. His career took flight after his last breakup and he was free to live his life as wildly as he desired without having silly romantic relationships tying him down. He moved out from his old house and chose to settle in a cozy little apartment with his pet cat for a new start; he went to every single party he was invited to and usually ended up kissing way too many girls, getting way too drunk or waking up the next day with way too many gaps in his memory of the previous night; he got to put all his focus into making more music now that he had no girlfriend to put as his number one priority. Life was never better for the 23-year-old singer and he had never been happier. He was thriving on his own and he definitely didn’t need to…

“Can’t sleep again?”

…head to the neighboring apartment—your apartment in the middle of the night just because he couldn’t sleep. He was strong enough to deal with the inner demons that kept him up at night by himself.

Yet there he was anyway, doing exactly that and falling into your arms the moment the door opened wide enough for him to pass through. You weren’t the least bit surprised with his actions though, since it wasn’t unusual for him to engulf you in his tight bear hugs at the most unexpected times. Or visit you, that is.

He was grateful that you never complained about them.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice muffled with his head buried in the crook of your neck. He couldn’t stop himself from inhaling a lungful of your scent. It wasn’t until then he realised how much he missed you, although the last time he saw you was this morning when you were about to leave for work and him for Daniel’s house. Hours apart felt like eternity when you weren’t around. “You?”

“Lost track of time while working, nothing new,” you admitted, rubbing his back in familiar strokes that put him at ease.

“Who the fuck works on a weekend?”

“Your favourite girl is a workaholic, apparently,” you joked and a smile involuntarily spread over his face and against your skin.

“Are you sure you’re my favourite girl?”

“I better be, or I’m kicking you out of my home right now,” you tried to make your threat sound less serious by adding a light laugh but Jonah knew you weren’t joking this time. You meant everything you just said (you never gave blank threats) so to some people you might be come across as intimidating, perhaps, but to Jonah, well…have you seen how small you were compared to him? He doubted you could do anything to make him leave your home if he didn’t want to. But you wouldn’t have to do anything because…

“Yep, you’re definitely my favorite,” he chuckled and felt how your body tensed when goosebumps started to form on the side of your neck where his hot exhales caressed.

Right. “Just friends“ equals personal space unless you say otherwise. He reluctantly removed his head from its previous comfortable resting spot on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I was too close—“

You shook your head. “It’s fine,” your hands found their way onto his face, cradling it between them gently, the simple gesture knocking his breath and all his problems out of him. God, he loved the way you touched him. “I like it when you’re close to me. It’s just that…”

“I know,” he said when you trailed off, unable to say your thoughts out loud. He understood what you meant. It’s just that it hurts when he does all these things to pull you closer, further blurring the line between friends and lovers, only to let you down again and again in the end. He resisted the urge to apologize once more, knowing that you’d merely brush him off with another ‘it’s fine’ if he did. You put up with his bullshit too much. He wondered why you hadn’t blocked him out of your life after all the emotional distress he had bestowed you. Yet.

A beat of silence passed with him watching you as you studied his face. He knew what you’d see. Tired eyes, unshaven beard and disheveled hair. In short, a mess. He hadn’t bothered to make himself look presentable lately. He wanted to but he couldn’t find the energy to. To be honest, he had been too emotionally and physically drained to do anything lately.

He knew you’d notice and a selfish part of him desperately wanted you to fuss over him. He was an asshole, really, for wanting and taking everything from you but not giving you anything back in return. The thing was, you didn’t want just anything. You wanted his love and he didn’t think he was in the right state to give you that. You deserved the special kind of love that would last for a lifetime, not a pathetic one coming from a broken heart that was still in the process of healing like his.

Guilt ate him away bit by bit, especially as you did exactly what he yearned for.

“When was the last time you slept well, Jonah?” you asked softly, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. All traces of playfulness were gone from your eyes and were replaced by concern, worry and everything else of the sorts.

“Can’t remember,” he admitted frankly, licking his lips and taking a gulp for extra courage before adding, “Been traveling a lot lately and sleeping in foreign hotels aren’t the same as…sleeping by your side.”

It was true. He didn’t know whether it’s the domesticity of preparing for bed together and the shared ‘goodnight’s before heading on a journey to dreamland, or maybe it’s the soothing feeling of your body pressed flush against his that made it easier for him to shut all the negative thoughts out, just for the night. Either way, he ended up growing addicted to holding you in his arms as he slept, which was why the nights without you had been torture for him.

A faint blush dusted your cheeks at his confession. You were oh so beautiful, he thought to himself. It scared him sometimes—how much he adored and wanted you even when he shouldn’t. “Glad you missed me.”

You sounded glad, relieved even. It was as if…you really thought you meant nothing to him.

“I always do, Y/N,” every second of the day until I’m back in your arms. He hated himself for not having the guts to say his true thoughts out loud.

You shook your head while smiling as if you found his reply incredulous. “You’re tired. C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

“I meant every word I said, Y/N,” he insisted. “I didn’t say that because I was delirious.”

He received no answer but he noticed how your smile seemed forced after the words left his mouth.

At this point, you probably knew better than to let yourself believe in any of his sickeningly sweet but honest words. He didn’t blame you for that.

“Thanks, I’m flattered. Now, sleep time.”

He watched as you built your defenses up around you again. It was one of the most painful things he’d ever witnessed, that’s for sure.

“Alright.”

#

The bed dipped, followed by the rustling of the comforter, before a familiar warmth hit Jonah as you nestled against his chest. This wasn’t the first time you had done this, nor would it be the last time, but the effect your action had on Jonah would never cease.

Eruption of butterflies? Check.

Increase of heartbeat rate? Double check.

Suddenly having the overwhelming urge to make you his? Triple fucking check.

Habitually, he wrapped an arm around you, his hand casually resting on the curve of your waist. He could stay like this with you forever, he realised and he didn’t like it one bit.

The last thing you needed in your perfect life right now was a dumb, broken man for a boyfriend. One who only knew how to turn his life experiences into songs and getting led on by girls with bad intentions because he craved the feeling of loving someone and being loved in return, even if it’s fake.

But God, it was impossible for him to not fall harder for you each day when you were the one who lights up his world with your smile, the one who’ll drunkenly blabber about how big your crush on him is in the most adorable way after accidentally having too many drinks, the one who is always there to help him catch his breath whenever he feels like drowning and most importantly, the one who sees all his flaws but doesn’t love him any less because of them.

You don’t deserve her, a voice in his head said as he silently looked at you. Yet why were you here, resting in his embrace?

It must be another sick joke made by the universe to taunt him. To show him how close you were to him yet still so unreachable. Even if he did manage to reach you in the end, then what? All his past relationships either ended with him accidentally breaking his significant other’s heart or the other way round and he wasn’t going to risk it with you.

He didn’t want to lose you like how he did with them because…he wasn’t sure if he could ever recover from that loss.

Instead of continuing to lay on his side, he shifted his sleeping position so that his back was fully pressed against the mattress, with your head remaining on his chest.

Your bedroom was dead quiet save for the sounds of your breathing and the soft swish of the curtains that were slightly billowing in the chilly night breeze that entered through the opened sliding doors that led to the small balcony. You always slept with the curtains drawn because it let you get a clear view of the wide expanse of the night sky and if you’re lucky, you got to see stars that were littered across nature’s dark canvas. They were your only company during the lonely nights before he came along, you had once mentioned to him.

Now that he slept on the side of the bed that blocked your view of the outside world, the only thing in your line of vision was his chest, his neck, or if you tilt your head a little more upwards, his face.

Which was exactly where you’re looking at now.

“What’s on your mind?” Your voice was soft but it cut through the silence all the same, tearing his attention away from his racing thoughts.

“You,” he answered swiftly, offering you a weak smile that you didn’t reciprocate, causing his to eventually falter.

“For someone who said he wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship when I confessed my undying love for him, you sure think about me far too much,” you tisked and he couldn’t quite tell whether you meant your words in a teasing manner or were they pure sarcasm?

“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything for you, Y/N,” he was as torn as he sounded. One part of him yearned for you whereas the other wanted to push you away, to keep you safe. From his mess of a life and the pain it might inflict on you. “I just…don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you’re hurting me now by not letting me in, you know that?” You sighed. “Look, Jonah,” “I can’t wait forever for you to make up your mind.”

“Because it hurts like hell to be this close to you,” you reached up to run your thumb across his jaw, “but not being able to call you mine. And if the pain gets too unbearable one day, who’s to say I won’t leave?”

He hated that you were right.

So for a moment, he let himself picture what it would be like in a world where you belonged to him and vice versa; where he could have slow, lazy mornings in bed that consisted of intimate kisses, touches, and words that warmed hearts; where he’d be able to return to a home that wouldn’t be empty anymore due to your bubbly present; where he could keep you close in public with an arm securely looped around your waist or a hand holding yours without worrying that paparazzis would spread rumours that you were dating because it was true. You are his.

Life still wouldn’t be perfect, but at least it’d be complete with you in it and he’d definitely be happier than he was before.

That was when he realised he was a coward for spending too much time fearing what could go wrong, instead of thinking of all the beautiful things that could go right.

Sure, he had messed things up in the past and hurt the people around him in the process but his relationship with you was the present.

That should mean something right?

Maybe…just maybe…the only way to truly mend his shattered heart was by learning how to love again. By giving love one more chance. One last chance.

So with a shaky breath of nervousness, he admitted, “You’re right. I’ve kept you waiting for too long.”

“But not any longer.”

Then he closed the remaining distance between your lips.

And nothing had ever felt so right.

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