#but I’m ready to drop a bag at the tour merch stand

[blossoms-phan]

need the tit tour merch reveal NOW

[let-me-luve-you]

Overlooked and Overworked

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: Being Tom Holland’s little sister was great growing up, but after his success she’s a little left behind. Y/N Holland is willing to do whatever for her family because she loves them.

Warnings: Angst, fluff ending, rude Tom, overworked, sleep deprived

A/N: I don’t think Tom or any of the members of the Holland’s would allow this to happen to any member of their family or friends, I just had this idea and wrote it. Also I wrote this back in like January and just now got the guts to post it!

MASTERLIST    BUY ME A COFFEE

The past couple of years for you have been an emotional roller coaster. You’ve been so excited and happy to see your brother succeed in his career. It’s always fun to see him on the big screen as someone else. But it’s also been tiring and sad because you feel left out. You don’t get to go to set often, you don’t get to travel with him, and you aren’t a part of his charity. The Brothers Trust is just him and your 3 other brothers. Given you help out way more than all of the brothers. Since you went to school for business, you help your mum and dad with both of their businesses and then run The Brothers Trust.

Tom is the oldest, then it’s you, the twins, and then Paddy. You’re only a year and a half younger than Tom. You were very close growing up, but once he started doing movies, you slowly grew apart. Him and the twins then grew closer. You loved him dearly but it just wasn’t the same since you never felt included. He took Harry to sets with him and on press tours. Sam would join along when he wasn’t working at the restaurant. Paddy would join during school breaks. But every time you would try to join him, he would say no. That he was too busy or too tired. You didn’t want to fight him but you were always crushed.

When he got the role of Spiderman, he decided then he wanted to move out into his own apartment. You offered to help him find a place since you had been looking for yourself. You offered to share a place and split rent but he said he wanted to be completely on his own. But shortly after he moved into his new 4 bedroom apartment, he had Harrison, Tuwaine, Sam, and Harry move in.

“The twins are moving in with Tom. Can you help pack and move them this weekend?” Your dad asked.

“What? They’re moving in with Tom? I thought he wanted his own space?” You asked him.

“He said he wanted to be around people because it was too lonely and quiet. Did you ever find a place? If so, you may want roommates too.”

“No I realized I can’t afford a place in a nice area to live alone. All my mates have moved off to continue their education or they have jobs else where.” You said sadly.

“Tom should of asked you then. I’m sorry y/n/n.”

“It’s fine. He hangs out with all four of them all the time. I would of just been in the way.” You said as you got up and left the room.

It’s been a couple of years and you still can’t afford to get your own place. Between helping run three businesses, you don’t have time to get a part time job. You pay your parents for rent and help pay bills so you are doing adult things. Plus it helps your parents financially. It’s busy season since your mum is picking up gigs for photoshoots, your dad is on tour for standup and his new book, plus you are planning a movie event through the trust as well as trying to get all the merch bagged and shipped. You have been working 14-15 hour days for the past 3 weeks without a day off. You are feeling the tiredness mentally and physically.

Tom has time off from the movie he is filming now. They gave him a month off for the holidays. Him and Harry have been home but all they have done is hung out with friends and go to the pub. You have been holed up in your office/bedroom for 3 days straight. Only to go out to the bathroom and kitchen to grab food.

“Where has y/n been? I haven’t seen much of her since we got home.” Harry asks Tom.

“She might be finalizing the Spies in Disguise event and getting things ready.” Tom responded.  

“Oh good. Y/n is great at getting a head start on things so I’m guessing she’s done with all the prep and souvenirs.” Harry smiled. Tom laughed in response.

On Christmas Day, you only came out of your room for breakfast and lunch and then went back in your room to work. No one noticed the bags under your eyes that you tried to hide with makeup. No one noticed you almost falling asleep at the table. No one thought twice about why you spent most of Christmas alone in your room. But you were behind. You still had a lot of orders to fulfill and send out. You still had get all of the souvenirs together for the event that was in two days. You still had to finish sending out your dads orders for his book as well as finalize his January travel plans and stand up dates. Your mum had booked 12 more shoots and you had to finalize times and dates. And everything was supposed to be done in the next week. You finally caved and decided to ask Tom for help since it was his event after all.

“Hey Tom can I have you help me out for a little bit?” You asked him Christmas evening.

“Do you need me tonight?” He asked.

“If you can that would be great.”

“Sorry y/n/n. I can’t. I’m meeting to boys at the apartment.”

“Well maybe they can help too.” You sounded hopeful to get more help to lighten your load.

“No can do. We have drinks and plans.”

“Well then can you come tomorrow morning or early afternoon?”

“Can’t. I have a meeting with my manager to discuss everything that’s coming up and then all of us at the apartment and Paddy are going into the city. Maybe I can help you after the event?”

“No it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” You said sadly as you turned to go back to your room.

“What about Paddy? Or mum or dad?” He asked.

“Paddy has football that mum is taking him to before she does a shoot tomorrow. Dad is working on some other stuff for his January shows.”

“Sam or Harry?”

“Well both will be with you tonight and tomorrow.”

“What about in the morning?”

“Sam has to work remember. And I think Harry is meeting with some mates to catch up with them or something along those lines. It’s fine. I’ve got it handled. Have fun tonight and tomorrow. Be safe. Love you.” You turned and almost ran back to your room. You wanted to break down in tears from being overwhelmed and for not being included in any of Tom’s plans of hanging out and catching up. You’ve barely seen Tom in the past year. Only when he’s in London. You shook the thoughts of your brother out of your head and pulled out a sheet of paper. You wrote down everything that needed to be done. Then on your white board, wrote them down in most important the least important.

First up was getting all of the brothers trust bags done. You went to the storage closest and pulled out everything you would need and set the boxes on your bed. Then you went and grabbed a tote to put the finished product in. It took you until 4 am, but you finally finished putting them together. You went into the kitchen and made you some tea. You went back in your room and marked the brothers trust goody bags off of your list. Next you started finalizing plans for your mum. That just involved organizing times and dates. You finished that around 1030 am. You marked that off the list as well.

Before you emailed all of the clients their dates and times, you went to the kitchen to grab and snack and drink. Your mum was in the kitchen.

“Morning love.” She smiled at you.

“Morning.” You said back waiting on your tea.

“So I’m going to drop Paddy off at football in 20 minutes and then Tom will pick him up to go into the city. I have to go to my shoot. Do you have the invoice I can give them?”

“I do.” You rushed to your room and grabbed it from a folder then went back and handed it to her. “Everything is on there. The deposit has been paid and it shows that as well as the price for the shoot and the editing. It also gives the timeline of when they will get the pictures.”

“Great. This is wonderful. Thank you. Also the theater called and said we can set it up today at 3 pm. Are you okay to handle that on your own?”

You sighed but answered, “yes I can handle it. I finished the bags last night. I just need to print off the papers to put on the seats as well. Plus get the itinerary finished which I will have by tonight so Tom knows what’s going on.”

“That’s great. I’ll be there to take photos as well as Harry but the boys will all be busy with fans and making sure they all feel special.”

“Sounds good. Have fun on your shoot.”

Your mum smiled as her and paddy left the house. You went back into your room and emailed everyone for your mum. Then you printed the brothers trust sheets that said what the event was supporting and how we were thankful for their donations. As those were printing you forgot you had to pick up an order of pictures so Tom could sign them for the guest coming to the screening. You looked up and saw that it was 130 and if you were going to be on time you needed to leave in the next 15 minutes.

After you loaded the goody bags into your car, you drove the 20 minutes to the print shop to pick up the pictures. You then went to the theater and set everything out. It took 45 minutes to lay everything out and make sure it was perfect. You then snagged some photos for Instagram and posted them. By the time you got home it was just shy of 5. You went straight to your room to finalize the itinerary. At 8 pm your mum knocked on the door.

“Hey baby. I’m back. How did everything go setting up wise?”

“It was good. Took longer than expected but wasn’t too bad for being the only one there. Also here is the itinerary for you and dad. I also have one for each of the boys.”

“Wow. This is detailed perfectly.”

“It kind of had to be since Tom has an event to go to tomorrow night and he can’t be late. I figured the more detailed, the less things can go wrong.”

“Fair point. Love I’m not sure if the boys notice the work you put in, but I do. Have you slept yet?”

You looked at her shocked, “what do you mean?”

“I mean that I can tell you are exhausted. I woke up at 2 am last night and heard you in here and saw your light was still on.” She paused and looked at your long list on the white board. “And by the looks of it, you have a long to do list. Do you need help? After we get through the event I can help. I don’t have a shoot for a couple of days.”

“I appreciate mum, but this list needs to be done by then. And everything you can help me with will be done already. But thank you.”

“Did you ask your brothers to help? I mean this is there thing. They should be helping you. Not leaving it to you to do yourself.”

“I asked Tom to help so I could have him do the goody bags for tomorrow but he had a guys night with Sam and Harry and them last night. Then they were all busy this morning and then went into the city. But it’s fine. I did the bags last night. That’s what you heard when you woke up.”

“I’m sorry baby. I’m going to have a talk with him. Have you had a break to just hangout with Tom. I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen him.”

“No he’s always in a meeting or with the boys. But if Tom wanted to see me, he’d make time but when I try, he can’t. But with all this work, I haven’t really done much outside of this room in a while so it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You both used to be so close. Almost like you were twins. Weirdly enough closer than the twins have ever been. I hope you two can work whatever this is out.”

“Me too mum. Me too.” You looked at her as she slowly walked out.

After your mum left the room, you got back to work finalizing your dads stuff. Thankfully it was only 12 am when you finished. Deciding to pack all of the orders so you can drop them off to be shipped in the morning, you went and grabbed everything you would need from the storage closet and got to work. You stayed up all night working. You finally finished all the orders at 9 am. When you realized the time you rushed to get dressed and cleaned up as best you could. By 10 am you were out the door to go to the post office to ship the orders and then you were off to the theater to make sure everything was set. By 1pm the rest of your family showed up. And by 2 the theater was full of people who were excited to see the brothers and the movie.

People knew who you were. Everyone knew Tom had a sister. But you did great staying out of the eye of people. None of your brothers posted much about you on social. Your dad mainly posted about Tom and the brothers golf adventures. Your mum would occasionally when she made you model when she was trying something new. So when people arrived, they walk past you and straight to the four brothers who were ready to greet everyone.

When the event started, you weren’t really needed so you went to a back room they had set up for your brothers to relax away from people and sat on the couch. Not sleeping since Christmas Eve was starting to catch up with you but some how you forced yourself to stay awake.

“Y/n we have a problem.” Your youngest brother said as he came in the room. “The movie hasn’t started yet and it was supposed to 15 minutes ago.”

“Okay I’ll go see what’s going on.” You went to the manager of the theater and she explained to you how the light in the projector went out and it was going to be another 20 minutes before it started. She apologized multiple times.

“Hey Tom. Can you do a q&a for 20 minutes or so?”

“No the movie is supposed to be on.”

“They are having technical difficulties and it’s going to take 20 minutes to fix it.”

Tom got annoyed because he knew this was pushing the entire timeline back and it was now be pushing it for him to be on time for his event tonight. “Sure.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you know when we are good to go.”

After 30 minutes. The movie was finally ready to go. Every one was enjoying it and all four of your brothers moved around the theater so the kids felt like they were watching the movie with them personally. When it was over everyone was ushered into a lobby where there was a meet and greet with photos. By the time the boys were done with everyone, it was 20 minutes until Toms next event.

“Great. I’m going to be late. Thanks for that y/n. Why didn’t you have them check everything yesterday?”

“Because I didn’t think of it.”

“So stupid. How could you not think of it? It’s literally the first thing on the list of things to check when prepping the theater. Do your job better. Thats what you are paid to do. I’ll see you later.” Tom rolled his eyes and stormed off. You just stared feeling humiliated since the theater staff and your family had witnessed that. You were holding in your emotional breakdown until you could do it in private.

“Sorry guys. Y’all can go ahead and head out. I’ll clean this up and bring home whatever is ours.” Sam, Harry, and Paddy saw this as a get of jail free card and booked it out of the theater. Your dad came by and kissed you on the head and said I have to finish up some work and headed out. Your mum looked at you sadly.

“I’ll help you baby.”

“No it’s okay mum. Go edit the photos so we can get them sent out.” You smiled at her.

“It’s okay. I can do them later tonight.”

“Mum seriously. Go home. I got this. I’ll be home later. You kissed her on the cheek as you walked back in the theater. You thankfully left the tote yesterday which made it easier to put everything in. You put the tote in your car and headed back in the theater to sweep and clean up the mess. By the time you got home, it was 9 pm. You had been up for 61 hours straight. You were exhausted. You just wanted to sleep. But Tom was home and he was livid.

“What the hell?” He asked.

“What?” You asked back.

“You know I got yelled at by my manger for 30 minutes about how I was irresponsible and immature for being almost a hour late to the event tonight?”

“Why did you get yelled at? You were doing stuff for charity. He should get over it.”

“He was mad because SOMEONE told him I would be done with our event in plenty of time to go to this other one. And when I told him there was technical difficulties because that same SOMEONE didn’t do their job, he got even more mad.”

“I get that I probably should of checked but things happen Tom. Okay? Things I can’t control. Things the theater can’t control. I did this entire event by myself. Sorry for not checking but other than the delay the people loved it and we raised money which is okay because our charity now can help so many more.”

“You didn’t do this by yourself. We all help. And our charity? Our? You mean mine? Sams? Harry’s? Paddys? It’s our faces that make that charity. And when something goes wrong we are the ones that look bad. Not the person behind the scenes that only does some of the work.”

You looked at him like he was a stranger. What he said broke your heart. That’s what he really thought? You just shook your head lightly and walked to your room. You shut the door and locked it.

“Really Tom?” Your mum asked as her and your dad walked in during the argument.

“Yeah mum. We do all the work and she’s trying to take the credit. We’ve all noticed and it’s getting out of hand. You do more than she does.”

“Tom I’m extremely disappointed in you right now.” Your dad said.

“Tom she does all of the work. The planning, the scheduling, the packaging, social media, distributing the money, and figuring out all the ways we can make money to help those smaller charities.” Your mum added.

“She does?”

“Yes Tom. On top of helping me and your father with our businesses. We’ve seen you more than her this past month because she’s been so busy.” Your mum said.

“Wow.”

“Did you know she was up until 4 am on Christmas night so she could finish the goody bags before we had to prep the theater. That she had those pictures printed so you could sign them for the guest. That she made an itinerary so detailed that nothing could go wrong. Except she didn’t account for technical difficulties. She set up the theater and cleaned the theater all by herself. None of us helped her. We just showed up for the event.” Your mum said.

“Tom have you not noticed how exhausted she looks? It looks like she hasn’t slept in days. She’s trying her best to handle everything so we can have everything run smoothly for us. She even mentioned your event and how she needed to get you out of there so you wouldn’t be late. We’ve all been horrible to her by letting her do this by herself.” Your dad said.

“I... I didn’t know. I’m going to go talk to her.”

Tom got up and knocked on your door. He couldn’t hear anything so he tried opening it. He noticed it was locked and went to his old room and found the key you gave him years ago. When he unlocked it he noticed the mess around your room of boxes, plastic, mail bags for packages, and stacks of papers. He saw you on your bed and saw you were asleep. He went over and tucked you in. He went to your desk and saw the white board with everything marked off under the to do list. He then looked on your desk and saw how your mum and dads plans were finalized. He knew you mentioned everything when you asked him for help Christmas night and now you were done with it. Even all the orders were done and he saw the receipt from the post office proving the orders were shipped. He felt horrible knowing the only way that you got everything done was by staying up all night.

He turned and walked back to you and finally noticed the bags under your eyes. As well as tear stains that he knows he’s the cause for. It broke his heart knowing he was the cause. It also broke knowing that you asked for help so you wouldn’t fall in the deep end, but by saying he couldn’t help, he pushed you in and watched you drown without even realizing.

He gave you a kiss on the head and got up and quietly walked out.

“What time did y/n wake up on Christmas Day?”

“From what we know, maybe around 8 or 9.” Your dad said. Tom sat there quietly while doing the math in his head.

“61 hours.” He suddenly said.

“What?” Your mum said.

“61 hours. That’s how long she went without sleep. She asked me for help and told me why and I said no. She’s finished the list. She’s organized both of your stuff. She’s packed and shipped out all of the orders. She did everything for the event. She hasn’t slept. She’s asleep now but it was 61 hours. How could I let my sister do that? How did I not see it?” Tom asked his parents. They looked at him in shock.

“My poor baby” your mum said.

“We will talk to her tomorrow when she wakes up.” Your dad said.

“I want to be here when she wakes up so I can apologize. I’m going to go see her again.”

He got up and walked to your room. He quietly started cleaning up the mess left from packaging orders. He then laid on the other side of your bed thinking about how he messed up so bad. Shortly after he fell asleep too.

-——————

Around 7 am you woke up still exhausted but you needed a glass of water. When you went to throw the blanket off of you, you saw Tom asleep in your bed still in his clothes from the night before.

You were confused as to why he was in your bed, but you chose to ignore him. You stood up and went to the kitchen. Your mum was already cooking breakfast.

“Morning baby. How’d you sleep?” Your mum asked.

“Alright. I’m probably going to catch a few more hours. Just needed water.” You said. “By the way, do you know why Tom is in my bed?”

“He felt bad about how he has treated you lately.” She said. “He figured out you went 60 something hours without sleep.”

You looked at her shocked and sat down. She came over and gave you a hug.

“Why did you do that to yourself? Why didn’t you ask for help?” Your dad said as he joined both of you in the kitchen.

“You were working on new stuff. Mum had shoots and a house to run. I asked Tom and thought maybe him and the boys could help but they had plans. It needed to be done before the new year and definitely needed to be done before the event.”

“We appreciate you so much baby girl. I hope you know that. You do a lot for this family and this family isn’t great at giving back. We do love you.” Your mum said as she gave you a kiss on the head. “Now please go get some sleep. Sleep all day if you’d like and I can bring you food later.”

You smiled at her and walked back to your room. Tom still hadn’t moved. You sat your water on your bedside table and crawled back under the covers. You turned your back towards Tom. You were still really saddened by his words last night, that you didn’t want to face him yet.

“Y/n/n are you awake?” You heard Tom whisper.

“Go back to sleep or get out.” You said back not opening your eyes.

“I’m sorry y/n. What I said last night was wrong. I didn’t realize you do everything for our trust. I thought mum and dad did it all. I know you’ve been killing yourself to try and catch up then get ahead, but you can’t do that to yourself. You need proper rest. I’m going to make sure you never do the 61 hours straight again. I’d rather myself do it before I let you do it again.”

“Tom it’s okay. But seriously. Leave or go back to sleep.”

“No it’s not okay. I’ve royally fucked up. I’ve let us get so far apart we are almost strangers to one another. I have a charity that doesn’t even have your name on it and you do all the work. You make sure my fans are happy as well as making sure we help other small charities. You’re absolutely amazing and I’ve treated you like shit for the last few years. I don’t even give you the time of day. I promise you this, I will do better. We will be like we used to. Even if I have to kidnap you and take you with me different places. I love you and I don’t want to be the one hurting you anymore.”

You rolled over and looked at him with tears in your eyes. Your brother finally recognized you for you. He finally realized what he’s done.

“Thank you Tom. I love you too.”

He smiled at you and leaned over to give you a hug and kiss on the forehead.

“It really means a lot that you said that. But can I please go back to sleep. I’m still exhausted.” You said.

Tom pulled you to him so your head was on his chest and shoulder. And he cuddled you so you felt protected from all the horrible things that can go wrong for you.

“Get some sleep and when you wake up, me and you will hang out. Just the two of us.” Tom said. You smiled as you drifted back to sleep.

[vanillann]

5 star conversation (reggie peters x reader)

I SAW THIS REQUEST AND SCREAMED I WAS SO EXCITED!!

word count: 4.9k (i can’t believe i wrote that much omg)

5 star conversation masterlist

place one: a 1 star motel

“I can’t believe this!”

Julie and I gave each other warnings look as he leaned against each other. That was Flynn’s “Something is going wrong and it’s the other person's fault” yell, and with how stressful the bus ride was I could tell this was worse.

“What’s wrong?” Reggie leaned over in his chair, his hood covering his face as we hid from camera flashes in the corner of the fancy hotel.

Julie shrugged, looking back to her phone and the Instagram edits of the band she had been tagged in.

“Guys, guys,” Alex did a awkward jog as he came back from the bathroom, the iconic pink hoodie pulled over his head and the front of his baseball hat sticking out.

“What?”

“I don’t think we have rooms,” Alex fell back beside Luke, his anxiety radiating from one person to another.

“Huh?”

We’ve had the tour planned out for months, each state planned and perfectly laid out for the perfect amount of work and play. There wasn’t a chance that we didn’t have the room for tonight, impossible.

“Flynn is too smart for that,” I leaned back, ignoring the way Reggie still leaned forward while his elbows on his knees watching me. It was weird, I knew it was Reggie but the way he sat and the fact I couldn’t see his face made it feel like a different person.

“(Y/N) right, Flynn way to put together for that,” Julie brushed off, hitting my shoulder to show me the edit she had found. It was of Reggie and I from a few shows ago, Flynn had been taking videos to help keep the fan active on us and she caught a video of Reggie and I fake rocking out on the empty stage.

It moved from that to a picture of Reggie and me in the costume store for the Halloween show, little fairy-like hearts floating around us. I smiled at the thought, grabbing Julie’s phone and sending the edit to me.

“Well, we don’t have rooms,” Flynn walked back, not giving any warning as she collapsed on top of Julie and I.

“I told you!”

Alex stood up, pointing his finger between Julie and I, a little smirk forming before he realized the weight of the words.

“What happened?”

“They didn’t tell me that rooms held for over 2 months have to be reinstated two week before or they cancel it,” Flynn didn’t move, laying over Julie and I with a broken spirit.

“I was looking forward to sleeping in a room, those bed’s on the bus suck,” Luke crossed his arms and pouted, looking like a kicked puppy.

“I don’t mind them,” Reggie smiled, bouncing in his seat slightly.

“It’s because you’d never fallen off the top,” Alex bit back, still mad about the sharp turns that have sent him flying the last few nights.

Flynn finally moved off Julie and I, saying nothing as she typed away on her phone. She walked away without another word, looking us back in the corner with hoods up.

I played with the sleeves of my own hoodie that had the new Julie and the Pathoms merch sketch.

“Oh look at this one!”

Julie showed me her phone again, this time a thirst trap edit. Her excitement bought the boys attention to us, all moving to look over my shoulder at the edit.

It started with a few of Julie with her amazing stage gear and a few photos from her instagram, neon letters over her head read “The Singer''. Then jumped to the few videos and pictures of Flynn that Julie and I would post behind her back, this time the neon letters read “The Manager''. Next was my face, bright smiles and a few of me backstage with an old Sunset Curve tee and sweat rolling down my back, the words said “The Designer ''.

I read the caption, smiling at “They carry the band” and laughing as the guys talked about the story behind each photo.

“I took the one of you in my old shirt,” Reggie smiled, staying beside me with his arm around the back of my seat. I did my best to ignore the butterflies, which became easy when Flynn came back with a smile.

“I found a motel across the street that will take us,” she spoke with pride, rightfully so as she saved us from another night on that bus.

“Oh I love you,” Alex jumped up, his arms wrapping around Flynn in a heartbeat. Julie smiled, standing up and putting the phone in the pocket of her hoodie.

“Come on, up,” Reggie jumped up, holding a hand up from me as I had started to slip down in my seat. I smiled, taking his cold hands and standing completely up with a smile.

“Thank you Reginald,” I winked, following the others as we made our way to the front of the hotel. I could already hear the crowd waiting for us, their cameras probably at the ready to take some pictures of the uprising band.

“Hoods up soldiers,” Luke announced, keeping Julie close as they were already openly in a relationship so nothing too bad could be made out of them. Alex stood in front of me, Flynn close behind as Reggie was an inch behind me.

I said nothing when I felt a small hand on my back, too caught up in the loud voices and the calling of our names.

“(Y/N)! Is it true you are jealous of the band!”

“(Y/N), Did you sleep with lead singer Luke even with him dating Julie?”

“Are the rumors of Reggie and you true?”

I was thankful we had made it cross the sidewalk when a large bus cut them all off, giving up enough time to make it to the motel without a problem. I was thankful once we made it inside but not for long as I took the place in.

The plants in the corner were dead, the desk was dusty and the couches looked to be from the 1800′s, not the good kind.

“How many stars does this place have?”

“Uhm, 4?” Flynn voiced jumped up, saying nothing to us as she walked up and dinged the bell on the front desk. I rolled my eyes, pulling out my phone and opening it to Google.

“What are you goggling?”

“Google, and this motel,” I corrected Reggie, doing a quick search of my location and found the name of the rusty place. When I saw the rating I almost screamed.

“This place just barely has one star!”

“What,” Luke ran from the random statue he was messing with to my side, tugging the phone so he could read the reviews.

“Apparently they had a rat in a bed once,” I spoke, reading over the words in horror.

“Nope, I’ll stay on the bus,” Alex let his hands fall to his side, walking back to the door before he noticed that the camera flashes had almost doubled and no way he could make it out without a panic attack.

“Evening.”

When I heard the vile voice I jumped into Reggie's side without thinking, looking up at the older man who was looking Flynn up and down like meat.

“I need six room,” Flynn didn’t waste time, holding the credit card in between her fingers as she did her best not to be a coward.

“He looks like the witch from Hansel and Gretel,” I whispered into Reggie’s ear, ignoring the way his arm seemed to drift to my waist.

“I don’t know how that is but I agree.”

“We only have only three rooms, little lady,” the man spoke, reaching for the credit card before Flynn moved it out of reach.

“You told me on the found you had six,” Flynn bit back, I admired her confidence in this moment as everyone was slowly losing there the longer we stood in this lobby.

“The paparazzi will have fun with this,” Julie reached my side, looking over her shoulder and the few shots they could get through the windows of the dusty place.

“Got that right.”

“Fine, will bunk up,” Flynn gave up with the man, it wasn’t any use and we were all tired of setting up the stage and soundcheck today. I had spent hours hunched over the computer trying to get the mercy drop reaching tomorrow morning, my back sore and my head hurting.

The man passed Flynn the keys, after she watched him closely to make sure he didn’t charge us extra. She walked over to us, obviously annoyed but calming down the closer she got to us, she knew how to manage her anger until it was only Julie and I around.

“Julie and I will take one room, Alex and (Y/N) will take another-'' I smiled as Alex was my go-to room partner.

“-And Luke and Reggie got the last,” Flynn started handing out keys when Luke started to pout.

“Last time I slept in the same room as Reggie he talked the entire night,” Luke pointed at Reggie, causing the boy beside me to frown.

“You sleep talk? I’ve never heard it,” I shrugged and looked at Luke who was confident that “Reggie sleep talks”.

“Why can’t I take Alex and (Y/N) take Reggie?”

This felt so out of character for Luke, he never missed an opportunity to hang out with Reggie, they always bunked together. It was weird how everyone agreed, which felt even more out of character.

“Okay it’s settled,” I wanted to say something, as a night in a room alone with Reggie would be horrible for my crush, but I didn’t want Reggie to think nobody wanted to bunk with him.

Reggie shrugged, taking our key from Flynn and grabbing my go-bag I’d set on the ground of the dirty motel.

“I’ll get our bags, I know you’ll sit with Fylnn and Julie before you come up,” he didn’t sound mad or upset, he was smiling widely as he skipped to the elevator before stopping halfway through and going to the stairs instead.

“What a gentleman,” Luke winked at me, smirking between the group as if he had done something.

That’s when it hit me, he had done something.

“Oh, you liar,” I pointed my finger at Luke’s chest, my pout similar to his earlier as I looked up to someone I called a close friend, basically family.

“I did nothing of the sort, he did talk all night last time we bunked together but it was because we decided we wanted to pull an all-nighter,” Luke shrugged, looking at the other three in the loony, all smiling at me.

“You’re all vile people,” I spoke, looking to Alex who wanted to laugh so bad by the look on his face.

“And you, why would you do this to me?”

“Because I’m so tired of Reggie and you dancing around each other,” Alex gave me a stern look, making me deflate slightly but that didn’t stop me.

“We do not,” the group finally started to move again, since Reggie would already be in the room and we didn’t want him suspicious.

“Oh no, you’re the liar now,” Luke sang over my shoulder, grabbing his and Julie’s bag, Alex getting him and reaching for Flynn bag who insisted she had it.

“His hands were all over you this morning on the bus,” Julie jumped in, grabbing my shoulders and leading me through the stairway.

“He was teaching me how to play bass,” I crossed my arm, knowing this conversation wasn’t going anywhere.

“Reggie never lets anyone touch his bass!”

I rolled my eyes, they were all insane at this point.

“The reason there are so many ship edits of you guys is that you give them so much to work with,” Flynn said from the front of the group, a kick in her step about the entire idea.

“It’s because fans are crazy,” we had finally made it to the third floor, opening the door and all walking into the smelly hallways.

“It smells like a pack of cigarettes,” I almost coughed as I spoke, watching Reggie’s back open the door and slide into our room.

“You coming to sit with us?”

“No, I’m mad at you all,” I frown, but none of my friends worried as I’d forgive in the morning because they were impossible to stay mad at.

“Suit yourself, also he didn’t have any two bedrooms so have fun sharing a bed,” Flynn gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek and skipped to her and Julie’s room.

“I’ll kill you,” I yelled at Flynn as she walked into her room, Julie giving a sweet waver over her shoulder.

“I wonder if they have a mini-fridge,” Luke spoke, opening the door as the two boys gave me an exciting wave as if they weren’t making my life harder.

“(Y/N)? Why are you yelling?”

I looked down a door or two to see Reggie leaning against the doorframe of our room with a white tee and black and red plaid pajama pants.

He was going to be the death of me.

“Uhm, Fylnn told me they didn’t have a breakfast bar,” I did my best to lie, smiling as I made my way to the door Reggie leaned against, his little smile made me feel light and fluffy.

“I’ll get us one of the Ubers to take us to that little diner on the corner,” Reggie smiled, not moving from the doorframe once I reached it.

I didn’t want to slide past him but I did, doing my best not to come in contact with him as that may just make it worse but luckily he moved back so that didn’t happen.

“Thank god, I like the layout of it.”

I saw the single Queen bed in the center of my room and my heart broke as I thought about Fylnn’s words, she wasn’t just trying to get under my skin.

“Yeah, I know you love dinners that look like they are from the 50s.”

My heart shouldn’t have been on fire because of his words but it 100% was. He remembered those little quirks and it started to make me feel light-headed.

“Yeah they’re my favorite,” I smiled over my shoulder, reaching for my bag I had packed for the night in the motel, luckily bought my sleep stuff and asleep attire.

“There was one by my house back in the 90s, it was right out of that movie you had me watched,” Reggie fell back on the left side, leaving the right side open for me.

He knew what freaking side of the bed I slept on, I was going to combust.

“Grease,” I ignored the way his arms bulged as he laid them behind his hand, looking up at me as I looked through my bag for a few more things.

“Yeah that one, I think I should do my hair like David-“

“Danny,” I corrected as I made my way to the bathroom, leaving the door cracked so I could keep the conversation but still closed enough so I wasn’t worried about Reggie seeing me.

“Oh yeah, I should do my hair like him.” I smiled to myself, imagining Reggie dancing around as a Danny from Grease, the excitement he would have.

I tried not to think about how hot he’d look with his hair slick back.

“Do it for Halloween next year,” I spoke up, splashing water on my face to make me feel a little calmer.

“But I thought we would do a matching costume?”

I was going to scream and cry if he didn’t stop acting like the perfect boy. How do you lie because Reggie Freaking Peters and not fall in love with him?

“You could be Sandy!”

I felt myself smile again, looking down at the short and long shirt I had stolen from Alex that sat on top of the toilet.

“You can have red lipstick and those leather pants,” he sounded like a child that was just given candy, he was jumping just at the thought of the costume together.

“The fans would love it,” maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring them up, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying it.

“They would! They’d probably talk about how cool you look for months,” I finally got the shirt over my head, looking at myself in the mirror, my nerves calming the longer the conversation went on.

Reggie wouldn’t make this awkward on purpose, I knew that.

“Yeah, but they’d like us matching. They wouldn’t let the dating rumor die though”, I stepped out from the bathroom, careful not to hit the creaking floorboard I found earlier.

“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” I watched his face fall and maybe my heart broke a little, but it was probably better. If it didn’t I would have possibly let this crush grow more and more and I didn’t need that.

“Eh, I don’t really care what the fans think.”

Heart please don’t explode, you have a merch drop tomorrow.

“Must be nice,” I fell back on the bed, laying the same way as Reggie as we looked at the ceiling that could probably fall in any second now.

“Why do you care?”

I watched him flip on his stomach out of the corner of my eye, him watching me but my eyes didn’t leave the ceiling.

“They just like making rumors with people that aren’t in the band sometimes more than the ones in the band. You four are more open than Flynn and I so they can only make so many rumors, but Flynn and I,” I trailed off, not knowing if he wanted this conversation to get too emotional.

“Yeah I noticed that, I mean you're cheating with Luke!”

I laughed at this tone, that definitely was a real crazy one that just started.

“I literally hit him in the head with the mic stand yesterday and kept walking and people think we’re dating”, I laugh at the afterthought, Luke's face when the mic stand went by his face. He was fine, but I didn’t have time to help him up and he understood that.

“That was great to watch, I haven’t seen Luke that confused since we landed here,” I spotted his show stopping smile in the corner of my eye.

“He’s a mess that’s why.”

“All three of us are a mess, without you, Julie, and Flynn we would be dead.”

“You’re already dead,” I tried to keep a straight face but as soon as I looked at Reggie my giggles filled the room, a hand on my stomach as I rolled over slightly.

“You’re horrible! You’re laughing at my death!”

I kept laughing, looking over at him a few times but it only caused me to laugh harder.

“I can’t believe I was excited to have a sleepover with you,” he had a goofy smile on his face as he watched me roll around.

“You 're excited,” I was finally calming down, trying to blame my racing heart on laughing.

“Yeah!”

He was so confident in his answer it felt like he meant it, like he wasn’t just being nice or just happy to be close with his friend.

Reggie liked being with people, he was a people person, and I was a person.

“I was excited too.”

Wow (Y/N) don’t you love your loud mouth.

He looked around my face, his eyes tracing my features with a smile painted across his face. I was shocked someone could be so happy like looked at me, but he did and it felt nice.

It was creepy or uncomfortable, nothing with Reggie ever was. He made everything feel easy, and maybe that’s why he has plagued my thoughts for so long.

“We should head to bed,” I could speak above a whisper with the way he was looking at me, the way his eyes traced my nose and my eyes.

“Yeah.”

We didn’t move, just watching each other as if it was supposed to be sleep for us. I wasn’t tired watching him like this, how could I be tired when he made me feel more alive than ever.

The loud knock on the door brought me out of my trace, my fear of what could be at the door had me moving closer to Reggie without thinking.

I felt the side of the move, Reggie slowly walking to the moldy wooden door with the small peep hole, or more like someone put a nail though and took it out.

He looked through it, reading to each for the candlestick before he rolled his eyes and swung open the door. Alex stood with an awkward smile, doing an odd dance before smiling at Reggie and I.

“Alex?”

“Can I use your bathroom?” I finally realized why he was dancing and smiled to himself.

“Sure but why?”

As soon as he heard my yes he pushed past Reggie, running into the thin wall bathroom without an answer until I heard him yell “Yes!”

“Our bathroom had some weird bug in the toilet and Julie and Flynn’s bathroom was connected to some weird old dude who fell asleep on the toilet,” Alex responded through the door, the excitement obviously in his voice.

“Looks like I got the good room,” Reggie smiled but I was hoping Alex would catch on to my comment and by the way he laughed I think he did.

“Shut up (Y/N)!”

Reggie knocked on the door jokingly as he passed, making his way back to the other side of the bed.

“How did Julie and Flynn get a conjoining room?”

“I don’t know and I don’t want to,” Alex yelled back, the sound of running water confirmed he was now washing his hands.

“You don’t have paper towels,” Alex opens the door, holding his hands in front of him as he looks like a kicked puppy.

“Use your shirt,” Reggie nodded at him, both him and I on our side as we watched Alex.

“It’s not mine! It’s Willie’s.”

“We won’t tell if you don’t,” I smiled back, giving Alex a wink.

“I accidentally told him,” Alex muttered as he started walking to the door, waving back at us and he left to go back to his own room.

As soon as the door shut I let myself laugh a little at my close friend, slowly reaching for the lamp and lifting the covers up. I could feel Reggie doing the same as the cold air hitting my skin when it moved and disappearing once it fell.

“Must I say, this motel isn’t that bad.”

I turned to look back at Reggie, the only reason I could see his face was because of the city lights from the window that danced across his face.

“What?”

“Don’t get me wrong, this place breaks every violation ever, but I think places like this bring out the best stories,” Reggie moved to look at me, his nose close to my own and he smiled at me.

I smiled, it was truly the Reggie-ish thing I had ever heard.

“I believe that,” I spoke softly, watching him again but this time the tension was thick, it felt so much calmer.

“Julie and Flynn will never forget the creepy guy, Alex and Luke will laugh about Alex blatter, and I’ll never forget the best sleepover ever,” each word brought a little larger smile on his face, my heart racing again at his words.

“I mean that much to you?” I said the words jokingly, placing a hand over my heart as I spoke but Reggie took it differently.

“Most definitely,” his words are soft, making my eyes grow tired as his breath fan across my face.

He was watching me again, this time he looked like an angel with the way the city light bounced off his cheeks and bought out his pink lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yep,” his face looked like it was moving closer to me but I knew better than to think that, but that didn’t crush that little hope in the back of my head.

“If you were there in the 90s, I’d probably still be alive,” eye contact was made and I thought I would jump him there.

“I wasn’t alive then.”

“I know, but you’re alive now and I feel alive,” Reggie shrugged as if his words didn’t mean everything to me.

Like he didn’t mean everything to me. I felt myself break eye contact, smiling like a fool as I looked to the tv that was barely hanging on the wall.

“You’re cold,” I spoke softly, because what else was I supposed to say?

“You’re warm,” as he spoke he grew closer to me, resting his head near my collarbone as he waited for me to speak but it never came.

“Can I lay my head on your shoulder?”

“Most definitely,” I repeated his rooms from earlier, smiling when I felt his hair brush my cheek and he drew close to me.

“Goodnight (Y/N),” he spoke softly, his words causing shivers to run up and down my spine like a track race.

“Goodnight Reggie.”

A loud bang on the door woke me up, causing me to almost fall from the bed if the hand that grabbed my shirt wasn't a tiger. His arms weren’t around me, simply holding me closer by my shirt, his head still on my shoulder as my head laid on his.

“Flynn has coffee!” Julie’s voice was joyus, making a smile spread across my lips. My friends knew me so well, my hands gently pulling Reggie’s fist from my shirt. I carefully pulled myself from the bed, tip-toeing across the room to the door. I didn’t even need to look through the peephole to know who was on the other side.

“Did you get a cup for your neighbor?”

Flynn smiled, dropped, and the coffee she held out to me was brought closer to her chest.

“And to think I gave you a kiss yesterday,” I rolled my eyes, reaching out for the coffee that was easy to pull from her hands.

“Luke and Alex are stealing breakfast from the hotel we were supposed to be staying at,” Julie brushed past me, stopping in her tracks when she noticed Reggie's sleeping body, obviously splashing on both sides of the bed.

“How are they doing that?”

“I don't wanna know, but I do wanna know what happened here last night,” Julie  spun around, pointing at Reggie over her shoulder.

“We talked and went to bed,” I shrugged, doing my best to keep my voice down but it wouldn’t change anything, Reggie was a heavy sleeper.

“I thought you would make a plate on the floor or something,” Flynn spoke as she joined us in the room, slowly walking to Reggie and inspecting him.

“That felt rude,” I sipped on the coffee, smiling when I realized Julie and Flynn got my order right.

“Or,” Julie turned around, poking my side with a goofy smile. I rolled my eyes, my excitement from last night and the presents of my friends was sending me through the roof and I don’t think I could handle it much longer.

“Guys!”

I looked down the hall, smiling when I saw Alex and Luke breathing heavily with large bags of hopeful food in their hands.

“Is that from the hotel?”

“Of course,” Luke smiled as he slipped into the room, handing me one of the bags so I could place it on the small table in the motel.

“We got chased out but we did it!”

I laughed at Alex's face, the anxiety was obvious but the smile told me he was fine and there wasn’t much to worry about.

“Well well well,” Luke walked around the bed, smiling at Reggie’s sleeping form.

“Don’t say a word,” I opened one of the bags and pulled a small piece of pancake off, and threw it in the air, catching it in my mouth easily. Perks of being friends with Luke, he teaches great party tricks.

“Aren’t you two the cutest,” Luke came over to my side, waving Julie over to show me something on her phone. I looked over my shoulder, watching a new edit that was posted maybe an hour ago.

“Reggie and (Y/N) were seen awfully close leaving their hotel last night,” the E! News reporter said, the edit jumping to a meme I had seen of a dude crying. Next thing I knew pictures from last night flash across the screen, Reggie’s hand on my lower back. The edit jumped to other pictures of us joking around followed.

I smiled, turning back to the bag and pulling another piece of pancake out.

“Awh look at that,” Flynn pitched my cheeks, smiling at my as I laughed it off. Butterflies were flying through my stomach but I didn my best to hide it.

“What?”

Everyone turned to Reggie once sleeping form, his eyes scanning the room before he fell back to the bed.

“Did anyone knock?”

“We did,” Julie smiled, flopping on the bed so her head laid on his legs.

“I wasn’t informed,” Reggie sat up, looking at me with a grumpy frown. I shrugged, taking another bite of pancake while smiling at him.

“What? You wanted me to wake you?”

“Most definitely,” Reggie smiled, the conversation from last night still floating around his brain.

I nodded, looking down at my hands and thought back to the late night we had with nothing but calming security.

He was right, crappy motels brought the best memories out in people.



[tobin-heaths]

Remember me 

request: Alex has been incredibly busy lately and basically forgetting dates/neglecting her gf. Her gf, R is understanding for the most part but can't help feel insecure and starts pulling away and distancing herself from Alex. Alex at first doesn't think much of it but then realizes whats happening and feels guilty. She decides to make it up to R and show her how much she loves her and how beautiful she thinks she is.

pairing: Alex Morgan x Reader

words: 1839

You knew it would happen again but you didn't expect it so soon. You thought you were prepared and that it wouldn't hurt, that you wouldn't let it hurt you anymore.

You were so wrong.

How disappointed can one feel when left sitting alone in a restaurant at a table meant for two?

You waited for more than an hour before the sadness took over. Alex had promised to come, she promised you with everything she had and yet there was no sign of the brunette.

Alex and you were dating for quite a while now and there was a time where you thought nothing could possibly ever hurt you again with her by your side.

Your head hang low and in shame as the waiter came back to your table looking at you with pity. "I don't think she'll be showing up today, Miss." He said.

"No, I don't think so either. I'd like to pay the bill now though." You took the last sip from the champagne you ordered and tried to hold your tears back.

Your phone was laying next to you, no calls or messages from your girlfriend. You didn't know what to do, you wanted to call her and scream at her, tell her all about the pain she had caused you over the last few months.

But that wasn't fair to her. Alex worked hard and way too much since winning the World Cup in July. The whole journey had been amazing but also exhausting.

Alex had photoshoots after photoshoots, countless interviews and not to mention the victory tour from August to October. So yes, you understood her forgetting about you, but at one point this had to stop.

This was hurting you as well, more than she would know.

It was your three year anniversary and you had this whole evening planned out for her. Maybe this would've been a welcome distraction for her but Alex seemed far too busy for that.

You returned to an empty home, scoffing at yourself for thinking otherwise. She was probably held up somewhere then.

Checking your Instagram you saw a story from said person. You held your breath for a second as a few tears slipped from your tired eyes.

With a shaky finger you tapped her beautiful icon and watched in disbelief as you saw her together with Allie and Kelley working on their merch. She wasn't even in Florida at the moment, she completely forgot all about you and this anniversary.

You decided not to bother her any further and just go to bed for the rest of the night. There was no use in calling or texting her, you were unwanted anyways.

Waking up your eyes opened and locked on the sleeping form of Alex Morgan. For a moment you were completely speechless as this came unexpected.

Your heart bursted with love as she was drooling onto the fabric of her pillow, her hair a wild mess.

Normally you would've touched her by now, gently caressing her cheek or lips, maybe even kissing her awake but you were so afraid that you jumped out of bed, careful to not wake her.

You knew you couldn't face her after yesterday, you wouldn't know how to act or what to say without breaking into tears.

"What am I doing?" You mouthed into the mirror and stared at yourself, eyes filling with tears.

You closed your eyes and leaned against the sink, the feeling of emptiness coming back.

Getting ready for the day you arrived in the kitchen making yourself some coffee and scrambled eggs with a small amount of porridge. Alex would get up soon, it was practice day.

"Morning, baby, I missed you." Arms circled around your waist as you stood at the stove, your body tensing in shock.

"You did?" Your hands were slightly shaking, your throat closing up as if you were getting choked.

Alex' perfume numbed your mind, the warmth of her skin numbed you, her whole presence was intoxicating.

She turned you around and stared at you, her eyes screaming 'don't you dare look away'. You couldn't stand this, it didn't feel right to you, so you quickly duck out of her arms and walked over to the table taking your plates, disappearing into the garden right as she was about to kiss your lips.

Alex stared after you with confusion and shrugged not thinking much of it as she filled herself a cup of coffee.

Arriving at practice in separate cars– you left home earlier than her– you quickly changed in the locker room and walked out onto the field.

Alex arrived shortly after, the both of you normally always drive together but again she didn't think much of it at that point.

"Look who's here, bitch, give me all the juicy details. Did she bang you yesterday?" Ashlyn was smirking as she walked towards you, Ali not far behind.

"I don't really wanna talk about it, Ash." You sighed and walked off. She turned around and looked at Ali who was raising her eyebrows and shrugging her shoulders. "Guess we'll ask Alex then." She said and stared after you.

As practice started you kept your distance from the brunette. You rarely looked at her, only if you had to when passing the ball or yelling for a pass. Otherwise you kept your eyes to the ground, talked to others or hurried away before she could talk to you.

Alex grew more and more confused. Deciding enough was enough she walked over to Ashlyn. "Hey, do you know what's up with Y/N? She's been weird ever since the morning."

"Don't ask us. Too much sex maybe? Her legs work rather fine though." Ash giggled. "Don't mind her. How was the date anyways? She was really excited days ahead." Ali spoke, pushing Ash away from them both.

"Date?" Alex frowns. And then it dawned on her. You acting so weirdly the whole time, drifting away from her, looking at her with a longing look whenever you thought she wasn't paying attention. It all made sense now.

Alex slapped her forehead and groaned. "Oh my god. I'm such an idiot. I screwed up, Ali. I don't know if she'll forgive me." Alex panicked.

"What? What happened? What do you mean?" Ali asked stepping closer to her friend.

"I forgot about the anniversary, I was out of the state yesterday working on merch. I didn't mean to, Ali. Fuck! This wasn't my first time forgetting about her. She said it was fine but never acted like this. I believed her. I was so busy with everything going on, I didn't mean to. What do I do now?"

She looked over to you running away from Ash who was trying to snatch the ball from your feet.

"I think you know exactly what to do. You're Alex Morgan. Apologize and make it up to your lady! She loves you." Ali said.

Practice went by smoothly for you, Ash and Ali taking you out to the city afterwards, it was much needed.

Walking up to your front door hours later your mood crashed once again, the house was dark therefore Alex was not home yet.

"Here we go again." You mumbled as you opened the door.

Your eyes widened seeing dozens of rose petals laying on the floor building a trail towards the living room where small candles illuminated the room.

You dropped your bag at the door and followed the petals until you reached the living room, your mouth wide open in amazement, your heart beating a mile.

Alex was standing in front of the huge dining table dressed in a gorgeous red dress, hair and makeup done, whereas you looked like a mess with your boring street clothes. The beauty of this woman was unmatched.

"Alex I–" You were speechless. "Please don't say anything. Let's sit and listen to me, please." She said and pointed at the chair she pulled out for you.

"Alex, what's all this?" You asked sitting down, watching her walk over to her spot.

There was a delicious looking plate of pasta in front of you, two huge candles lighting up the space as more rose petals decorated the table. You also noticed the fire burning in the background.

Taking a deep breath Alex began talking. "First of all, I'm sorry for screwing up and forgetting our anniversary. It wasn't my intention to let you hang like that. I was out of my mind, all the appointments completely taking over. It's not an excuse, I know that. You were always so patient with me every time I forgot about us. I don't know how I deserve you, honestly. It blows my mind that you're my girlfriend. Nobody could have my back like you do, all the support you gave me whenever I was drowning in work. I'm sorry I couldn't give back to you, I feel absolutely terrible."

"I know you're drowning in work, you just won a damn World Cup. I'll always be with you and support you no matter what but it felt awful yesterday. It was our anniversary for heaven's sake, Alex! How can you forget about that? I can understand all the other dates, it's not that important, I mean I'm not a national player like you, I don't know much about all that pressure and constant visibility with media but this was about us, it should've distracted you. I love you, Alex, so much and I don't want to spend my life without you. I felt like a burden and other times I felt like my anger and sadness wasn't right, like it was unfair. It made me think what if you were falling out of love with me?" You teared up.

Alex hurried over to you and hugged you. "Don't ever say that again, no matter what, you hear me? No matter what, I'll always fucking love you, Y/N. You are the most beautiful, amazing, supportive human I've met. I'd be an idiot to throw that away. I don't know how I could let it get that far, this never happened to me before. I'll make it up to you, baby. I promise."

Her thumbs gently brushed your tears away and kissed your lips.

Your emotions were all over the place. You really were head over heels for this woman, you could've married her on the spot.

"Let's try to enjoy this dinner before I'll take you upstairs into the bath. We can watch some movies afterwards and cuddle like there's no tomorrow. I bought some ice cream as well. I'll make it up to you, babe."

"I'm just glad to have you to myself now. I know you can make it up. I'm excited for what you have in store but please, never let that happen again, this was scary as hell." You finally dug into your pasta having not eaten much since practice.

And Alex did indeed make it up to you, in all the right ways.

[hateswifi]

Rising from the Ashes: Of Nette and Friends

So this is Part Twelve here is to my Master List and Part Eleven.

--------------------------------

In April, she picked up her friends to show them her apartment and around, Gotham with the help of Damian.

"I don't understand why we have to pick them up," Damian grumbled, walking into her apartment. 

"Oh come on," Marinette pleads, holding onto his arm. "I haven't seen them since the Chinese New Year and look on the bright side, no disguises."

"Only for you, Angel," he says, placing a firm kiss on her lips.

"Let's go! Chloe is expecting us!" She says, opening the portal. They walk through together hand in hand into Chloe's room where all her friends stood. When she saw them, she broke away from her boyfriend to hug her friends. "Guys! I missed you so much!" 

"I've missed you too Marinette," Adrien said everyone nodding in agreement.

"You all remember my boyfriend, Damian," She said, breaking the hug.

"Of course we remember Damiboo," Chloe says, mimicking Lila's obnoxious voice. Damien groaned, remembering the sausage haired girl.

They had been walking to the hotel because they were staying at Master Fu's house when Lila approached them. 

"Oh my gosh, Ann? It's so nice to see you again. Who is this handsome man?" Lila cooed, wrapping her hands around his arm.

"Hi, Lila, this is my boyfriend," Ann paused, thinking about the name that Damian had chosen then continued speaking in her practiced British accent. "Thomas."

"Hi Thomas," Lila said, attempting to be seductive. 

"Sorry, Lila, but we were going to visit my friends. Thomas is meeting them for the first time today! Bye," She said through gritted teeth as they rushed off.

"That's the girl that made your life a living hell?" Damian asks, rubbing her shoulder, Marinette responds with a nod. "She's as fake as your wig." Marinette laughs, snuggling closer into his embrace. "I'm happy you had your family to help you when I wasn't there to help you," he says, kissing her head.

They walk into the hotel to pick up Chloe, who was waiting in the lobby. They greet each other, and then they go to pick up Adrien and Kagami from their Chinese lessons. After they greet each other, they go pick up Luka from his practice with Uncle Jagged, well just Jagged now.

"Thank you, everyone, for taking care of my Angel when I couldn't," Damian says, sincerely. "Especially you Luka," he said, putting a hand on Luka’s shoulder. "You saved her life during the last stand, thank you. I'm forever indebted."

"I was doing my job by protecting my partners and best friend," Luka said. "I would do anything to protect my family."

"No, seriously, thank you," Damian said, giving Luka an awkward hug because Damian isn't good at showing emotions. 

"That was a terrible day," Marinette shuddered, remembering how Lila shamelessly attempted to flirt with Damian.

"Good thing homicide is illegal or she would be gone," Damian snickers. That earned him an elbow in the side.

"You guys ready to see Gotham," Marinette asks, grabbing one of Chloe's bags.

"I'm excited, I think I'll have some great inspiration in Gotham and hanging out with you all," Luka explains, putting his guitar on his back,

"Are we going to the manor?" Marinette asks, turning to her prince.

"Yes, Alfred already has the rooms set up, Adrien are you and Kagami sharing a room? We have other rooms if you don't want to," Damian explains.

"One room would be fine," Kagami said, grabbing Adrien's hand.

"Actually," Luka says, taking Chloe's hand. "We've been dating for a while. We didn't want to tell you guys because Chloe wanted to tell her parents before we told anyone else." A chorus of congratulations follows the announcement. "Would we be able to share a room?" Luka asks.

"Of course I'll let Pennyworth know," Damian said, texting Alfred.

"Let them know we're coming so we won't scare them like last time," Marinette asks, picturing the manor then opening the portal.

"Yes, now let's go," he says, grabbing her hand then walking into the portal. The rest of her friends following. They enter the main entrance of the manor. 

"Welcome back Miss Marinette, Master Damian. Welcome for the first time, Miss Chloe, Miss Kagami, Master Luka, and Master Adrien, the rest of the Young Masters are excited to meet Miss Marinette's family," Alfred greet. "Now if you would follow me I'll show you to your rooms." 

There was screaming coming from the parlor. "Sunshine!" came Dick's distinct scream.

"Pixi-Pop where are your friends? I want to meet them!" Jason's scream. 

"Guys let them unpack," Tim explained, as Dick and Jason burst through a set of doors. They ran up and squished her a bone-crushing hug.

"Guys! I... I can't breathe," Marinette said, trying to wiggle out of their firm grasp. 

"Sorry Mari," they say, letting her go, Dick turns to them with a smirk. "Can we see your kwamis please!?" All the kwamis, including Tikki and Kaalki, came out of hiding. 

"Don't worry you guys are free to be out in the open here," Marinette said, looking at all the gods.

"We already stocked up on the food your kwamis eat," Damian said, wrapping an arm around Marinette's shoulder.

"Alright let me show you to your room," Alfred said, walking down the hall pointing out the rooms as they walked passed.

"Sunshine, I'm so happy you're staying this week!" Dick says when Marinette's friends were dropping their stuff in their room.

"Well, I still have to work this week, Diana said there are commissions that need to be done, but she said that I would be able to get off early due to them being here," Marinette said.

"That makes sense," Dick said, her friends were starting to emerge from their rooms. They decided to go out for lunch at the first restaurant that Damian had taken her to. They spend the week in laughter and come back from April break with Gotham heroes' merch, and Nette originals. There was a picture of all of them wearing Nette originals with Nette in the picture wearing the only Robin hoodie she’s ever made. They were all facing the edge of the building looking at the sun setting. Most of the class was jealous due to Nette's popularity growing around the world, especially since Luka, Chloe, Kagami, and Adrien posted pictures of them wearing Nette originals.  Adrien being popular for modeling still, Luka, after being dropped by Kitty Section due to Lila's lies, started a solo career later joined by Chloe with her singing, Adrien on piano, and Kagami being on drums, as an act of rebellion towards her mother, and fencing for Kagami as well. The group named, 4 Outlaws, have recorded a couple of songs and might do a small tour over summer break.

--------------------------------------

Tag list (Open):

@northernbluetongue @melhuney @ladysblackcat @sturchling @otaku4312 @g-arya @smolplantmum @bluefyoto94 @echpr @moonlightstar64 @thesunanditsangel @cutechip @heaven428 @elmokingkong @kass-is-weird @niza13149 @urbanpineapplefarmer @ginamarie1512 @chocolatecatstheron @iggy-of-fans @crazylittlemunchkin @komatsuna-yuki @weird-pale-blonde-person @ellerahs @sinnamonroill @daminett4life @queenmj10 @indecisive-mess-named-me @reyna-avila-ramirez-alreanaldo @lizziejay @random-posts-and-stuff

[kamariamei]

Designated Cuddler

Reader x Chris Motionless Surprise!! I’m your Secret Santa @fanpagesforbands570

I hope you like it :) ////////////////////////////////////

December 24th

Tours were always hard but tours during the holidays were the hardest. These were times when most people spent time with their families and loved ones, but instead we were on tour until two days after Christmas. Of course the guys are needy since they have been away from their wives, girlfriends or…”other”. But this is taking the cake.

“Dude I don’t care how much I look like your chick from the back, stop trying to cuddle me!!” Vinny yelled in annoyance (and slight terror) at Ryan as he broke free from his arms.

“Dude when you joined you knew what you were getting into.” Ricky reminded him as he edited the new batch of clips for the update video.

“Then you cuddle him!!”

“Hell no I a one cuddler kinda guy.”

“Yeah Vin how would he explain it to Ghost.” Ryan laughs as Ricky chucks his shoe at him.

“Where Y/A? Ask her to cuddle you.” Vinny says as he wraps an giant bulls blanket around him, got to love fan gifts.

“Hugged up with Chris. He hasn’t let her go for the last 3 days and it’s not fair!!” Ryan yells back to bunks.

You giggle quietly at Ryan’s frustration and squeal when you feel Chris tighten his grip on your waist in his sleep. You see you were the merch girl but had recently earned an additional job title as the “Designated Cuddler” which the guys have been taking full advantage of…if they could get you away from Chris long enough that is. At first they tried scheduling times but that lead to fighting, so now it’s first come first served, whoever is awake at 5am when you’re up gets you first. Chris has been the early bird 3 days in a row and right after you both wake up he drags you back to his bunk. He is not an early bird. Anyway, it was Christmas Eve and you all decided to rent out a place for two days and do Christmas right. It was a quaint little place made or brick and had large picture windows, and a wrap around porch. It was two stories and had beautiful views of the lake and city lights right across. To be honest you couldn’t wait to get there.

“Chris, Chris…Christopher! Wake up!!” In a rather quick movement Chris had you turned toward him, his legs wrapped around yours and your face in his chest. You look up gazing at his neck tattoo as as he sits his chin on your head. His deep morning chuckle making your blush as he kisses the top of your head and lets you go. You swing your legs to the edge of the bunk and slide out.

“We should arrive soon so get up and get ready.”

“Alright, alright. But only if I can get a kiss.” He says winking at you. You blush and get as far away from the bunk as possible to your embarrassment but to the happiness of Vinny, Ryan was starting to get handsy. /////////////////

The pictures you saw online didn’t do this place justice. It was gorgeous. There had been a fresh snow fall just before you arrived so it definitely gave it a Christmas feel. The outside was decorated with lights and they even had a tee inside waiting to be decorated. These people were definitely getting a good review!!

Everyone piles out of the bus and indoors with their bags, happy to be out of the rolling bullet (why do you still let Chris drive?!) but also happy to be spending the holidays in a house with showers and a washing machine.

“Dude this is awesome!!”

“Finally a real shower!”

“Thank God because you all stink. And wash your bunk sheets while we’re here!!”

“Ok so who’s bunking with who?” Ricky ask looking at everyone as they explore the living room and kitchen.

“Who cares so long as I don’t have to share a bed with any of you. Waking up being spooned and groped by you guys if an experience I don’t want to experience ever again in life.” Vinny says as he glares at Ricky while we all laugh.

“Well I call the room with Y/N. You fucks can figure out your own rooms.”

Chris picks you up without warning and hoist you over his shoulders as you squeal and laugh up to one of the rooms.

Chris dumps on one of the beds with a bounce as he drops the bags in a corner. There are two full sized beds in the room but if history keeps repeating itself you and Chris would only be using one. Either he would drag you to his bed or half l way through the night climb into yours. Not that you mind since this was how your “job title” started. Chris sits on the edge of his bed plugging his phone up to charge.

“I’m going to go soak in the tub then take a long comforting nap, think you guys can figure out the menu?”

You stretch hearing your joints pop into place before go to your bags and pulling out the things you need, especially the lavender and honey bath bomb Chris got for you on you last day off some stops back. He pulls you between his long legs and looks up at you. His thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your lower back.

“Yeah, we might just or something to be delivered. After everyone calms down we’re all probably going to pass out. It’s a good thing we got food before we got here.”

You slide your hands up his chest to his shoulders and down his back he leans his forehead against your chest the both of you enjoying the soothing silence of falling snow and the possibility of the over grown children probably passed out somewhere on the house.

/////////////

December 25th

Cuddled into Chris’s chest is probably one of the best perks you could get. He was warm, comfortable and gave the best hugs. Half way though the night after a afternoon nap, and wrangling the “children” for tree decorating ( one of these days I’m going to kill Ricky and his camera), baking cookies ( thank god they were the precut holiday ones, Vinny and Ryan are not allowed to be in the kitchen with flour EVER again) and taking a family photo that looks like parents trying to control their kids and just accepting defeat; we were able to get gifts under the tree and everyone to bed. You and Chris were sleeping heavy with you across his chest and his arm wrapped tightly around your wait as you both snore away.

“Are they awake?”

“Not yet, should we wake them?”

“Not til I get the camera ready, aaaaannnnnddddd…..NOW!!

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!”

“THE FUCK!!??”

A loud scream from you and a loud thud as Chris face plants the carpet. There’s a loud cacophony of laughs and hollers as Ricky gets a good recording of you looking like a deer in headlights trying to decide to fight or flight and Chris in nothing but his sweatpants just laying on the floor contemplating killing and burying his band mates in the nearby pine forest.

“Ok ok, let’s go open presents now.” Ghost says trying to get everyone to calm down and out the room before Chris can act on his thoughts. After the guys leave and the door closes you crawl across the bed and look down as Chris starts to slowly sit up. You place a gentle kiss on the bump forming on his forehead.

“You ok?”

“Yeah I’m ok”

He stands up fully and takes your hand. You grab one of his sweat shirts and he take another and the both of you make your way down the stairs to the battle ground of wrapping paper and gift boxes.

///////////////////

As the day of gift giving and hyper activeness started to winding down, the guys decided to go pick up dinner for tonight from a restaurant on town that was lucky still open and some more treats for after dinner. You and Chris’s decided that your parental duties have finally come to a pause enough for you both to relax next to the fire place and look at the tree with snow falling past the window outside.

“Hey Y/N”

“Hmm?”

You rub the tiredness for your eyes as you cuddle back into his chest.

“I still have a special gift to give you before the others get back. He say in his low soothing voice.

“What is it?” You say looking up barely keeping your eyes open.

He smiles and gives you a gentle kiss on the lips. Your eyes slowly open fully as he pulls away from the kiss.

“I was wondering if you would be my designated cuddler?”

“I’m already a designated cuddler..”

He chuckles and kisses your forehead.

“No, I mean like my girlfriend. You don’t have to answer right away, but I hope you will.”

You lay your head on his chest and smile, “I will.”

“You will?”

“Yeah”

He smiles and kisses the top of your head. You both lay there in blissful silence…

“MOM, DAD!!! WE’RE HOME!!”

[awkwardedgygirl]

Voices Chapter 2

Hi! Ok so remember that soulmate AU I wrote for Valentines Day? Then I also wrote part 2 from Lance’s point of view? Well I wrote chapter 2 from Keith POV and here it is! It is dark but I kinda love it? There is major bullying but no like super bad derogatory words because those make me uncomfortable and I have no right saying them you know? Any way I hope you enjoy and If you need to catch up you can find both stories on my Ao3 called AwkwardWriting. Thanks enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lance stayed all weekend. They spent it playing video games and eating very unhealthy food that Keith was going to work off once Lance left, not that he ever wanted him too.

On Sunday morning Lance is getting ready to leave and Keith notices his hands shaking as he folds his clothes. Keith walks over and grabs his hands.

“Lance?” He won’t look at him.

“Lance please look at me.” Keith says again and Lance makes eye contact but looks away quickly.

Keith wants to grab Lance’s face but doesn’t want to freak him out, “Tell me what is wrong Lance. Please?”

Lance shrugs, “It’s just, I am going to miss you.”

Keith forgets about not freaking him out and pulls Lance into a hug, “I’ll miss you too Lance.”

Lance wraps his arms around Keith’s waist and doesn’t say anything. Keith really wished he could hear his thoughts right now.

“I have something for you.” Keith says letting Lance go and walking across the room. Keith watches Lance curl in on himself wrapping his arms around his torso. Keith comes back quickly with a little box. He gives him the box which causes a puzzled look on his face. Keith nods and watches Lance unwrap it to see, a key.

“So you don’t have to break into my apartment anymore.” Keith runs his hand through his hair nervously, “Do you like it?”

Lance smiles wrapping his fist around the key and holding it to his chest, “I love it thank you.”

“Just know,” Keith grabs Lance’s hand again, “You can come back. Anytime. I will be here.”

This time Lance is the one to pull Keith into a hug, “Thank you Keith, for everything.”

Keith pulls Lance tight, “Of course.”

They hold on for just a little longer but it is time for Lance to go, “I’ll let you know when I get home, you know,” Lance points to his head, “In here.” 

Keith smiles, “Can’t wait.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is night time by the time Keith hears, I’m home

Keith smiles, “Good. How far away do you live?”

Like six hours by bus.

Keith stands up a little straighter, “Wait by bus? I could have taken you if you didn’t have a car.”

No no that’s okay. Lance sounded rushed, I don’t mind the bus really 

Keith sighed, “Ok but next time I am driving you home.”

A beat of silence, Well I have to go to bed now. Talk tomorrow?

Keith feels like he is missing something but decides not to push it, “Yeah okay good night Lance.”

Good night Keith.

--------------------------------------------------------

KEITH

Keith sits bolt-right out of bed, “What what happened?”

THEY’RE BACK

“What? Whose back?”

KEITH WAKE UP AND FOCUS MCR IS BACK!”

“What?” Keith grabs his laptop to check, “HOLY SHIT THEY ARE BACK!”

THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING

“HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME.” Keith is yelling now too.

I KNOW WE GOTTA GO SEE THEM WHEN THEY GO ON TOUR

“Don’t worry we will. I gotta go get their merch at hot topic.”

Ugh you are such and emo.

“Hey so are you!”

Yes but I hide it so well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Lance and Keith continue with their routine of talking every day and skyping at night. Occasionally Keith will hear Lance’s negative thinking in his head and always responds right away to debunk it. Lance doesn’t say anything about it but Keith can tell he appreciates it.

Keith is getting ready for his nightly video chat with Lance when he hears him, Hey Keith I can’t video chat tonight I am sorry.

Keith feels his heart drop, “Oh, why?”

A pause, Uh, my computer isn’t working so I can’t sorry.

Keith shrugs, “It’s ok, I know you would if you could.”

A very faint yeah is all Keith hears

“So how long do you think your computer will be busted?”

Like two weeks at most.

“Well that’s okay hope you can get it fixed.”

Me too.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Keith is going crazy not being able to see Lance. He misses seeing when he laughs and his eyes and just him okay.

Which is why Keith decides to do something reckless. He is off work for a few days and decides to drive up and surprise Lance in his hometown. Lance did it for him and it was the greatest thing to ever happen to him and he knows Lance would appreciate it. He packs a small bag and makes reservations at the local hotel and begins his drive to Lance. He keeps the conversation going as normal as he can to not give anything away.

After a very long drive he arrives in Lance's hometown in Oklahoma and stops on the way to pick up some flowers he know Lance will like. He pulls up to Lance’s school that seems to be letting out.

He sees Lance walking out and he doesn’t notice Keith right away but seems to be looking around. A group of guys walk up behind him and Keith figures they are his friends. He watches one of them grab Lance and another-

Keith drops the flowers and runs toward the group. He pushes a guy to the side and sees Lance laying on the ground seeming unconscious. Keith sees red.

He grabs the guy who punched Lance, “What the fuck man let me go!” The guy in his arms shouts.

Keith is furious, he pushes him to the ground, “Nobody hurts Lance.”

The guy scoffs and stands up brushing himself off, “See that is where we differ. Now move out of my way.” He tries to push Keith out of the way.

Keith blocks him, “Get the fuck out of here.”

James raises an eyebrow and scoffs, “Oh I know! You must be his soulmate.”

Keith crosses his arms, he hears Lance groan, good, “Yeah I am.”

James gives Keith the once over, “Guess loser down there was right.”

Keith grabs James by the collar of his jacket, his friend move closer but James raises his hand to back them up.

Keith is furious, “If you ever go near Lance again you will wish you had never been born got it?” Keith lets go.

James straightens his jacket, “Whatever.” He looks to Lance who is still on the ground but his eyes have opened, “See you around.” Then the group leaves all laughing.

Keith gets down on the ground, “Lance are you okay?”

“Ribs hurt.” He mumbles

Keith looks Lance over and notices some cuts and bruises, “Come on, I still need to check in at the hotel. He picks Lance up off the ground and carries him over to his bike. He somehow gets him sitting while still holding onto him and gets starts driving.

Once there Keith checks in and takes Lance upstairs, “Where does it hurt?” Keith asks calmly.

Lance points to his ribs and Keith asks if he can take off his shirt and Lance gives a curt nod wincing when he has to lift his arms. When the shirt is off it makes Keith is angry all over again. Not only is there a new bruise forming from today but there seems to be bruises healing from other incidences and even some scars. Keith looks at Lance face and sees a remainder of a black eye, “You computer wasn’t broken was it?”

Lance shakes his head.

Keith does the best he can cleaning Lance up, Lance says nothing.

“You wanna go down to the pool?” It might help?”

Lance shakes his head.

“Come on Lance you love swimming please talk to me.”

At that Lance looks up, “What are you doing here?”

“Well I missed and seeing your face and-”

Lance stands up, “So what you just show up unannounced?” Lance yells.

“Yeah you did it to me? I thought you would like the surprise?”

Lance crosses his arms, “That’s different.”

“Why?” Keith questions.

“Well you have your own apartment and a job and-”

“Nobody is beating me up?” Keith cuts in.

Lance curls in on himself again, this time falling to the floor, “I didn’t want you to know about him.”

Keith sits down next to him, “Why?”

“Because,” Lance wraps his arms around his legs closing in on himself, “I didn’t want him to ruin this too.”

Keith sits down next to Lance on the floor, “He wouldn’t have ruined anything.”

Lance scoffs and stands up, “Yeah right. I have known James my whole life. You don’t know him like I do.”

Keith gets up standing taller than Lance, “I don’t care how long you have known him and I don’t care what he has said or done. I am here for you Lance and now that I know I am never leaving.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “Yeah sure.”

But Keith means it.

[inahazzze]

Lavender & Jasmine

***A/N: Here’s a random blurb of best friend!Harry caring for you in a depressive episode (so warning for depression and some negative self talk). I can’t decide whether I like this or not but I’ve decided to just post it anyway because I haven’t posted writing in ages! (1.6k) ***

Harry, Y/N

10:04am: Hey love, what’re you up to tonight?

1:37pm: Was thinking we could grab dinner. You free?

3:06pm: You okay?

5:14pm: Please just let me know if you’re alright.

5:49pm: Can you come over? 

5:50pm: Already on my way x

You didn’t want to have to ask him to come. You hate it when anyone sees you when you’re like this - even your best friend Harry. But at this point, you know that you really need him. You no longer care about how you look, or how you smell, or how big the bags under your eyes have gotten. You know that Harry won’t berate or judge you – except for not calling him earlier, maybe.

He’s always telling you to call him whenever you need him, no matter the time of day or night. But he’s just so busy, and you don’t want to take him away from his full schedule just because your brain doesn’t like to behave. You feel like such a burden. Like an eternal bother.

You don’t know how long you’ve been cooped up at home. You’re not even entirely sure what day of the week it is. All you know is that you’ve spent the whole day sitting either on the couch or the floor, and eventually the sun went down. You didn’t get up to turn on the lights, so you’ve been sitting in the dark for a while.

On any other day you’d be embarrassed for Harry to find you like this, but you’re just too mentally exhausted to care. You only feel relief knowing that he’s on his way, mixed with a tiny bit of anxiety that he’ll be upset with you for needing him when he might’ve had other plans. Harry’s the only one who’s never made you feel like you’re burdening him – but you still can’t help but think that he’s just good at hiding his annoyance with you.

There’s no way for you to tell how much time passes before Harry arrives, but eventually you hear his car pull up outside. You breathe a sigh of relief that you don’t have to get up to let him in, as he has his own key to your place. The door creaks open and you can hear the heels of Harry’s boots click against the tile. There’s only a brief moment of silence before he turns on the light and your world erupts into a painful brightness. You cover your eyes with your forearm and groan lightly, but you can still see the blinding white light on the backs of your eyelids.

“Y/N?” He says as soon as he sees you, his tone gentle and caring. You want to acknowledge him, but your throat feels dry and you can’t seem to make the words come out. He doesn’t hesitate – you can hear him drop whatever he was holding and make his way to your side. He rests his hand on your shoulder over the wrinkled pajamas that you’ve kept on all day, and you take a deep breath at the comfort that the small gesture already brings you.

Bringing your forearm away from your face, you open your eyes and squint in the bright light of the living room. Harry sits down next to you and pulls you towards him so that you’re half hugging him and half leaning against his chest for support. You breathe in his musky scent and already feel better than you did a few moments ago – until you remember that you haven’t showered today and feel disgusting.

“I’m stinky,” you manage to say, pulling back from his embrace. Your voice is scratchy from not being used, but what stands out to Harry is how small and downcast you sound. It’s like you’re miles away, lost somewhere that he can’t reach.

“I don’t care,” he says, pulling you back into the hug and wrapping his arms around you. You don’t have any energy to fight, so you just fall into his arms and let yourself be held. He’s wearing one of your favourite hoodies that you love snuggling into, so your face rests comfortably right underneath the pullstrings. At first you made fun of him for wearing a hoodie with his own name embroidered onto the breast, but you actually thought it was cute that he wanted to wear his tour merch instead of something designer.

Harry smells warm like a fire but fresh like the rain. You breathe in his familiar scent and imagine it filling your lungs like a cleansing incense. It’s both soothing and revitalising – and exactly what you needed. He rests his cheek against your forehead and rubs your back, reminding you that he’s here and in no hurry to leave. All you can hear is his heartbeat, your synced breathing, and the distant sounds of a neighbouring apartment’s TV. If there could be a moment that you’d want to bottle up and keep for every dark day, it’s this one. He doesn’t even have to say anything to make you feel loved and cared for. All he has to do is be here, holding you tight. You don’t know what you did to deserve such an amazing best friend, but you’re incredibly grateful for him.

You think you could stay in his arms forever – until the moment is broken by a loud grumble from your stomach. He giggles against your forehead and you lift your head from his chest with a bashful smile. He takes this as a sign that you’re already starting to feel a bit more like yourself – he doesn’t need you to tell him that it’s the first time you’ve been able to smile today. He wants to be angry that you didn’t respond to him sooner, but he can’t be. He knows that it probably took a lot for you to reach out to him at all – and he’s so happy that you did. All he wants is to be here for you and show you just how much he loves you. 

“Okay, stinky,” he says with a smirk. “I’ll run you a bath and you can chill in there while I make dinner.”

 “Hey, don’t be mean,” you respond with an exaggerated frown, but Harry can see the hint of a smile in your eyes.

“I’m making pasta,” he says, getting up from the floor and holding his hand out to help you up as well. You shake out a numb feeling in one of your legs once you’re standing, hating just how weak and dizzy your body feels. Harry helps steady until you and suggests you lie down on the couch until the bath is ready. You slink down into the cushions without hesitation and listen to the distant gush of water from the bathroom and the beeping of the finished kettle that Harry must have put on at some point.

Even though you’ve been best friends for years, you’ve never been so grateful for Harry as you are tonight. Not only is he there for you on a moment’s notice, but he knows exactly what you need to make you feel better. And he genuinely wants to help you get your mind out of its dark place. After a little while of zoning out on the couch, Harry comes back to tell you that your bath is ready and he half-carries you into the bathroom. The only thing that makes you a little embarrassed about the whole situation is that he asks if you need help undressing. You shake your head and blush, and he leaves you alone.

The bath is silky smooth and smells of lavender and jasmine. You take a deep breath to take in the calming scents and sink into the water all the way to the base of your head. It warms you deep into your bones in a way that you forgot you could feel. It’s like your body is coming to life again, to help your mind follow suit. Just 20 minutes in the bath helps you more than you ever thought it could. Your mind feels replenished and the least hazy it’s been in days – it’s like you’ve been sleepwalking and only just woken up.

When the water starts to become lukewarm and your fingers pruned, you get out of the bath and put on your favourite pair of soft pajamas that Harry left next to the sink. You can’t help but smile that he truly thought of everything. You’re exhausted already, but notice a stroke of hunger hit you with the growing smell of dinner. You drag your body into the kitchen and peek over Harry’s shoulder at the cooking pasta.

“Just in time,” he says with a gentle smile.

Suddenly, you’re overtaken by emotion that your best friend has done all of this for you. “Thank you so much, H,” you manage to get out before you bury your head into the back of his hoodie and wrap your arms around him. He spins his body around to face you and accepts your embrace.

“You never have to thank me, okay?” He lightly rubs your back while he speaks. “I’m always here for you, anytime, no matter what.”

You hold him even tighter as a response, not able to articulate how you feel in this moment. You’re choked up and completely drained, but your stomach decides yet again to rumble loudly in protest.

Harry chuckles into your shoulder at the sound. “Now, how about some dinner?”

[tellmetheteruth]

The GazettE in Dallas personal Live Report

I've never written one of these for a show i've been to so excuse me if it's clumsy. My concert buddies and I were aiming to get to the venue in the a.m. hours but Brittney and I took so long on hair and makeup that we didn't get there until noon. Oops.

It was Ridiculously hot and sweaty outside and I am not from Texas, i'm from near Seattle so i'm not used to it. And i didnt bring sunblock. My bf brought me some partway through the day but I still got a little burned. Met a lot of friends in the line that helped make it feel less than the 6 and a half hour wait it was. Signed the banner for the band and some Birthday cards for Reita.

The WT19 Documentary staff walked by with the camera and actually interviewed me! I thought I did well but my friends later teased me to death about talking too much and telling my whole life story so idk;;;; I still hope they use a bit of it because I didn't get in the WT16 dvd at all even though I went to LA.

I was VIP so the early entry was a lifesaver. Managed to be near the front of the merch line and actually snagged a Kai and an Uruha bear keychain. Ruki was sold out before I even saw it and Reita sold out a few people in front of me. I also got a tshirt and a hoodie but it was the bears I was REALLY hoping really bad I could get because I didn't own any yet.

And I still managed to get a really good spot after so I'm glad I didn't feel pressured to skip the merch line in favor of a spot. I wasn't directly at the barricade, i had probably 3 or 4 people in front of me. But to me it was perfect because I could see all the members without craning my neck instead of just the one close to me, and I was still way close enough to see all their beautiful faces in detail.

I don't rememeber the setlist in order whatsoever but other people posted it so. Anyway. Falling was Awesome and the first song after the intro. I was mostly distracted in awe just to be standing so close to them all. At the last show I couldn't afford VIP and I was stuck way up in a balcony. So this was just Surreal to me.

A lot of the middle is such a blur but I remember feeling like I had never smiled so wide in my whole entire life and no matter what they played I would have been happy. I was even So excited to hear Filth in the Beauty even though I usually complain about how overplayed it is. I know they played Dogma, which I heard at the last tour of course, but it was Way better being this close and personal.

Aoi is increadibly magnetic and attractive. There's no way to explain it. It's not just that he's hot- mind you, of course he Is, but.. something about him. The way he carries himself. Its hard to take your eyes off of him. The rest is pretty much what other people say, confirmed. Uruha makes a lot of Weird faces, especially during solos. But its super cute. Ruki has not gotten Any better at dancing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Kai is all smiles. Reita's always bobbing his head with the music like a little parakeet. I don't know what to say. Its all so much more touching being there to see it up close.

The last song of the encore was Tomorrow Never Dies and I was just.. crying the whole time honestly. Any final song would be a little emotional but they had to choose That one. It defeinitely got to me.

After the show VIP was immediately lining up for the meet and greet and I was confused about where to go. But we found it. I waited and took some post-show selfies with Brittney. The whole experience was just.. even more special being with my best friend after so long.

-The meet and greet.-

It was. Interesting. I was not prepared.

The line moved a lot faster than I was expecting and before I knew it my boyfriend pointed out that they were right there and Holy Shit he was right. I needed to get my gifts out of my bag and ready Pronto, because I made Ruki a drawing on the plane and I made Uruha a cute little gift bag with specially made stickers, a kitkat and a note I wrote him. (I wanted something for everyone but work got in the way and I ran out of time..) ANYWAY my baggie for Uruha got caught in the zipper of my purse. Like. Really caught bad. The line was still moving. Panic ensued. My boyfriend was behind me so i asked him to help if he could. He couldn't get it.

Then Aoi was right in front of me. The caught present would have to wait for later. I don't remember exactly what I said. A stammering excited ramble while we clasped hands. He was an amazing guitarist, beautiful, things like that. He makes eye contact. They all make good eye contact but especually Aoi. They all have soft warm hands. But each handshake passes in the blink of an eye before I can process it. My brain is a scrambled mess.

Reita. I thank him and pause briefly to think of something personal I can actually say to him. I gave an enthusiastic "You Rock", to which he smiles and agrees with a nod. "Yes!", he says. It was really cute. Probably could have said something more meaningful but at least i'm sure he understood me. Mostly everyone else got an incoherent mess of trying to say as much as I could in such a brief time period.

Ruki. I totally forget I have a present for him by the way. Im holding his hands and busy being Dazzled at how gorgeous he is in person. It's incredible. I tell him he's an amazing singer and i've always looked up to him. Throw in a few other compliments in the fleeting moment before I have to move on. Not sure how much he understands but he smiles and thanks me a couple times.

Kai. He's just glowing and beaming. Smiles so bright. Its very cute. I tell him hes an awesome drummer. I honestly forget what else I said. As I was moving between him and Uruha I remembered Uruhas stuck present. And that made me remember I was supposed to give Ruki a present. Oh shit. Panic. Reach in my bag and slide the piece of paper across the table to him. "Sorry! This is for you!" I don't mean to be chaotic I just really want him to have it. Luckily its my own boyfriend I interrupted his meeting with. Ruki seems amused and thanks me again. Hopefully he actually is and doesnt think i'm rude.

Fiddling with the god damned stuck gift bag as I step over to Uruha in a panic. Eyes wide. Stop to shake his hands. No freaking clue what I even ramble out to him I forget. Im panicking over the present because I dont have long til I have to go. I let go of his hands to fiddle with it again because I Really want him to have it. I worked really hard on it. I realize last second that i can just pull the gifts Out of the little baggie and drop them out on the table in front of him in a panic. "Kit-kat.." I drop it. He thanks me. Im sure I look like a mess. Not sure if he's frightened or flatterd by my determination as the staff starts to try to usher me along. "Stickers-!" I say as I put those down too. Really not sure he even understood what that meant. He might just think its a drawing. Don't know. But he of course thanks me. The poor staff lady is tapping at my shoulder trying to get me to leave. I still have the notecard that has to go with the stickers. I'm apologizing repeatedly to everyone involved as I finally get that to him as well and leave as quickly as possible so as to not cause chaos or hold up the line.

I get outside and meet back up with Brittney and my boyfriend who of course think the whole ordeal was Hilarious. I am mortified and I hope Uruha doesn't think i'm a lunatic. I like to tell myself he probably just thought it was funny but I have no way to know.

We all go to waffle house because its late and we are all starving. My boyfriend is in awe over how tiny Ruki is and he thinks its adorable. Brittney Genuinely misremembered and thought Ruki was sitting down at the meet and greet even though everyone else was standing?? We laugh our asses off. I'm still embarrassed but overall I had an awesome unforgettable night. I hope I didn't leave too bad of an impression. I'm sorry that was so long, i'm a writer and I like to ramble.

[sunsetinmyvein]

Just Off the Key of Reason - Chapter Twelve - Me and My Plus One

Saturday, 28th of April, 2007 – Chicago, Illinois

This time around, Patrick at least knew why he was being ignored. He couldn’t say he was overly comfortable with the situation but this time he knew what the cause behind it was. At least he was pretty sure he knew what it was; his memory was kind of hazy up until when Joe had interrupted them.  As his head hung over his toilet bowl the following morning, he tried to recall everything to the best of his ability through his pounding headache. It felt like a freight train had pushed its way through his ear canal and left a train of destruction as it pushed from one side of his head to the other, but he could make out some details through the debris. He had sent her a few half-drunken texts shortly after Pete had interrogated him about his opinion on their party planning, and unsurprisingly, they went unanswered. The night had ended not long after that, partially due to Patrick kicking people out one by one in his attempts to find her, and partially due to people actually having to go home. Once everyone had left Patrick found himself moping in his bedroom until the sun started creeping through his curtains the following morning. In the cold light of day, being forced to throw up the contents of his stomach, he was beginning to feel like maybe last night wasn’t his best decision. He should’ve known better. He should have known that it would only leave him feeling worse and wanting even more answers than he had been given. She had told him to forget it, so maybe that’s exactly what he should, would do.

 Thursday, 14th of June, 2007 – Chicago, Illinois

The time gradually ticked by in their time off. Andy had a low key family get-together for his 27th birthday in late May; meanwhile Pete had another raging party in a privately hired club for his 28th in early June to celebrate getting through his 27th year on this Earth that he never felt he’d make it to. Eventually they had to start getting ready to go back on tour. The bus was hired for the month that they would need it and was scheduled to meet them in Washington after their flight. Guitars were packed, drums were neatly slipped into their boxes, and merch was chosen. Mostly that had all been sent earlier so that it could take the longer, and cheaper, way around. Interviews were had, signings were attended, promos were released – anything to make sure that people knew Fall Out Boy were coming. If the first of their two months off had been a break, the second had been intentionally made as busy as possible just to make touring seem easy in comparison. In the process of all this commotion, Patrick had found himself meeting many new people. One of whom took a shine to him, and he took a shine to her. All of a sudden he found himself with a girlfriend. A girlfriend who wanted to come on tour with him. This was unfamiliar territory for him; he’d never properly dated anyone since they started touring regularly. She was one of the people who worked in the studio, so she wouldn’t be coming on the road normally, but he had assured her that she could come along to the first two shows with him. From there she was going to meet a friend in Oregon and they’d drive home together. He was more than happy to let the excitement of the new experience keep his mind occupied.

 The band and immediate crew members had crammed themselves into a row of seats at the airport, waiting patiently – or impatiently in Andy’s case – for their red eye flight to Washington. He sat there bouncing his knee as he watched the clock in the corner of the electronic poster in front of them. The time gradually counted up and up as he anxiously glanced around the waiting area for their missing bassist.

“Where the fuck is he?” He grumbled under his breath.

“He’ll be here, man. He was in that group chat with the flight times, just like the rest of us.” Joe reasoned from under his eye mask. He had decided as soon as they sat down that it was far too late to still be functioning and had opted to take a nap in the waiting room seat. But their drummer’s constant worrying had mostly prevented that from happening.

“It’s five minutes until we board. You’ve not heard anything from him?” His question fell upon deaf ears. Joe was either ignoring him or half asleep already and Patrick was too engrossed in his conversation with his girlfriend to care. He kicked Patrick’s shin across the aisle, earning an ‘ow’ in response as he attempted to rub the pain out of his leg. “Pete? Have you heard from him?” He asked again.

“No, I haven’t spoken to him since the day after my party.” Patrick glared back.

“Well, I’m going to call-” Before he could even punch the numbers into his phone, a familiar, overly loud, laugh filled the mostly empty gates.

“I told you he’d be here.” Joe mumbled.

 “Are you not meant to be my babysitter?” Pete laughed as he dropped his backpack from his shoulder. Patrick felt himself tense at those words, trying to remain interested in his conversation but suddenly finding it very hard to remain focused. “I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be giving me tips about how to get as drunk as I can on the plane.”

“You said you don’t like flying. If you’re totally wasted, you won’t even remember you did it.” She shrugged as the two of them walked up to join the group. Patrick felt the hairs prickle on the back of his neck. They hadn’t spoken in over two weeks. He had assumed that she wasn’t coming back for the second leg of the tour. The label had never mentioned her staying on for another month.

“I might also try and join the mile high club though.” He chuckled as he nudged her in the ribs.

Joe snorted loudly with a laugh, “Don’t pretend like you haven’t already.”

 Eventually Patrick caved to the nagging feeling in the back of his mind and looked up at her from the waiting room chair. She was rifling through her bag, he assumed for her boarding pass. The conversation he had been having was still droning on in the background of his thoughts. He felt like maybe he should say something about where they left off, but if she hadn’t wanted to talk then, why would she now? He stared at her in a stupefied silence until eventually she looked up from her bag and met his gaze. Her eyes flicked from his to above his head.

“New hat?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Uh, yeah.” He absentmindedly touched the fedora atop his head. “The other one…” He swallowed hard as he tried to force the words out, “it kept getting in the way.” He could’ve sworn he saw a blush creep onto her cheeks, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it because soon enough his girlfriend was grabbing his arm and dragging him to the gate to board their flight.

 Friday, 15th of June, 2007 – Seattle, Washington

The flight was mostly uneventful. To avoid his crippling anxiety of impending doom on a metal death trap, Pete doped himself up on some sleeping pills and in-flight vodka. When he came to he was draped across a couch somewhere. He felt vaguely like he was moving, but he himself wasn’t. Was he in a car? His eyes slowly came into focus and he realised he was facing a small living area. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up, figuring he must have been relocated to the tour bus. A little part of him wondered who had the pleasure of hauling his unconscious ass here, but given the fact that a blanket was draped around his waist and a water bottle sat at his feet, he assumed it was probably Andy. Also he wasn’t entirely sure if anyone else would be able to carry him without assistance. He glanced around the small area at the back of the bus, spying the kitchen through the aisle of bunks and feeling his stomach growl. How long had he been out? Apparently long enough that he felt that familiar sleep induced unsteady feeling settling in his legs.  The bus seemed dark; it must still be early morning. All of the bunks had their curtains pulled shut so he assumed they had left him here while they all went to bed. He ambled through to the kitchen, examining what was in the well-stocked cupboards. This was a hell of a lot fancier than what they had in the past. The appliances were all chrome and shiny, there was a proper benchtop and even an oven cooktop combo. They must have either hired or purchased this bus from new. He absentmindedly wondered how fancy a tour bus kitchen would have to be before he decided they had made it as he refiled through the food supplies. He couldn’t help but snicker with the knowledge that the label had intended for this to last the whole tour. It would last a week at best.

 After much consideration he settled on a packet of pancake mix, it seemed the most practical option and he was excited to use appliances that he’d never had the thrill of using on a moving vehicle before. Would it be easier to flip pancakes with the momentum of the bus? But before his hand could even come into contact with the gas dial, it was rudely slapped away.

“Fucking hell,” He squeaked in surprise as he pulled his hand up to his chest, “don’t sneak up on people like that.”

“You are banned from the gas appliances.” She ordered as she moved in between him and the stove.

“What? Why?” He tried to reach around her to at least retrieve the pancake mix but she wouldn’t budge.

“Because you have a tendency to explode things.” She explained, narrowing her eyes at him. He vaguely remembered fireworks in hotels.

“No, I don’t.” He lied. “But even if I did, how am I going to cook pancakes without a stove?”

“I guess you’ll have fun working that out.” She grinned up at him. They stood there in silence for a few moments, waiting for the other to stand down, until he admitted defeat. He groaned loudly, instead grabbing a bag of chips from the counter and moving to sink back into the couch.

 The two of them decided to watch whatever terrible show was on at five in the morning in the middle of nowhere, killing time until everyone else woke up. She had gotten up early to make sure everything on the bus was working before everyone attempted to use it, at least that way they would be able to accurately tell if Pete did break anything, or if it just came like that. They’d grown a lot closer in the month or so since Patrick’s party. Anyone who was willing to assist with Pete’s antics was someone he considered a friend. He was also beginning to find her company considerably more tolerable than what it had been at the start of their tour. Even despite that every second conversation was her reprimanding him for something. After a few minutes of static silence Pete threw a chip in her vague direction. She looked over at him in confusion.

“How’s things with you and lover boy?” He asked with an eyebrow raised. She rolled her eyes.

“How’s things with you and your girlfriend?” She shot back, voice laced with sarcasm.

“Good, actually.” He nodded. The confused stare he got in response urged him to continue. “We, uh… we didn’t break up this time, we’re going to try the long distance thing.” It was still a concept that didn’t sit well with him, but he figured if Patrick could work it out, then so could he.

“Oh. Well, good for you guys. I hope it goes well.” She smiled back at him, reaching across the table to grab a handful of chips. He pulled the bag away from her as he clicked his tongue.

“Nuh-uh. Answer my question.”

 She let out a heavy sigh. “That should be pretty self-explanatory, Pete. He’s on tour with his girlfriend.” Since coming back onto the tour she was trying her best to ignore the changes that had occurred in their month off. Patrick’s hair had grown out quite a bit, nearly coming down to his shoulders. He also seemed very attached to his new hat, she was yet to see him without it. In addition, and probably the most hard-hitting change, they hadn’t spoken except for their brief exchange in the airport. It was odd going from being attached at the hip to suddenly having a minimum ten metre gap between you at all times.

“That doesn’t mean shit. She goes home after two shows and you’re still here.” He finally offered the bag over to her and allowed her to take a handful.

“They won’t break up just because she goes home. Patrick’s not like you.” She laughed dryly, trying to avoid the slightest amount of hope sitting in the back of her mind that maybe Patrick was like Pete.

“I take offense to that.” He gasped. “But you never know. Crazier things have happened.” He shrugged, stuffing a wad of chips into his mouth.

“Yeah, like you being a bass player in a band when you’re terrible at it.” She grinned.

“You’re sho mean ooday.”  He garbled, spraying chips over the living room table.

[silhouetted-beauty]

My BTS Concert Experiences!!🎇🎆

Hello fellow readers! I just wanted to shared my concert experiences as well as my favorite highlights of the night. I ended up going to both Chicago concerts (Oct. 02/03) and let me just say... IT WAS LIT!!! The boys really put on a show and all their hard work definitely was shown. FYI: This post will be LONG so I will install a ‘keep reading’ tab.

But anyways, let me start off saying how I was a nervous wreck knowing I was going both days because I didn’t know what to expect. This was my first BTS concert and I’ve been dying (not literally lol) to see them since 2015. I pretty much followed other people’s experiences from earlier tour dates and went off that and honestly, it didn’t help. It ended up kicking my anxiety into overdrive because lot of people were talking about post concert depression lol. In my mind, I was thinking, “holy shit! If they are THAT good live, would I even be able to walk out of the arena with a sane mind?!” To put it short, I was spooked. Even as I type this out, my hands are shaking lol. Oh! and excuse my crappy video footage, I was kinda zoned out watching them, people were knocking into me, and I was low key dancing lol

October 2nd...

-The Merchandise-

Thanks to my bf (you know who you are HOE!!!😂😂), she had bought us both tickets for this day as a birthday present to me. Since she bought tickets, I felt the least I could do was buy us merch. So I arrived that morning at the venue only to find the line for merchandise wrapped around two corners. So I began the dreadful task of waiting in line. Thankfully, I met two other girls who I quickly connected with and made the process, somehow, quicker. The line moved faster then I thought but as we gotten closer, we noticed items were selling out due to people buying bags of shit! The ‘Love Yourself’ shirts, both white and black, were the first to sell out. I was in shock because that was the shirt I was getting us so I had to call her up and decide on either another shirt or another item. Thankfully, none of the other merch I wanted sold out so I was able to purchase what we wanted without any problems. So in total, I was in line at 9:40 and didn’t leave until 12:50. My advice to anyone trying to get merch for a concert... order online! I believe it’s more convenient, especially if you may not have the time to wait in line. Preordering or ordering ahead of time is definitely less stressful.

-The Concert-

After I left merch met up with my best friend and we went back to my place to get ready. Lol I’m gonna be honest and say that even though I was going to see BTS, the main highlight of the day was my blue hair. I had recently dyed it and was ready to show it off. Thanks to her, I ended up wearing a pink dress, my black leather jacket, and black Killstar ‘vendetta’ boots, which I bought specifically for the concert for the next day. We kept cracking jokes because it looked like I was dressed to “kick somebody’s ass” (her words not mines😂😂).

So we get to the arena, paid for parking, then waited in line, which was pretty short. Our seats were in section 103 and we had the perfect view of the stage and audience. While we waited in our seats, my best friend turns to me and suggests we get some drinks lol (Note: I’m starting to believe that is the norm when we go to concerts). Hell! I was down for drinking but then I remembered how I didn’t eat all day so I was worried about getting drunk especially since we were drinking Bacardi rum. It wasn’t that I intentionally didn’t eat, I was just too hyped to do so. BONUS!! We both thought I’d be the one to cry since I’m the bigger fan than she is but guess what? Yo gurl held strong!😆 In fact, SHE was the one who cried and I’m never letting her forget it. Lmao! Anyways we were drinking, cracking jokes, sitting back and looking pretty while waiting on the show to start. And when it did... when it did... it was a fucking PARTY!!!!

We stood the entire time, and I basically sang/screamed my heart out. Made sure to capture her on video while ‘Singularity’ played because that is her shit lol (Great job, Tae!😘). They performed Setlist A (I believe) which was LIT. We danced to every song. I REALLY loved the vcr footages as they changed for the next song. It was really unique and some were playful, sexy, and bold. But as the concert came to an end, each member said a solo goodbye. All of them were nice especially considering how they tried to speak English to the best of their ability. What they couldn’t say, they spoke in Korean and the translator did a great job relaying the message. The speech I remembered the most was Yoongi’s because I low key feel like he tried to go in on us. Like tried to straight clown us lol. Here’s what I mean...

Yoongi: “I have one question.”

Us: *screams* “yes” or “what”

Yoongi: “this is Chicago. The Windy City, right?”

At this point, I’m thinking what is he getting at?

Us: “Yes.”

Yoongi: “Then why is it so hot?”

...

...

...

My reaction:

Anyways, It was so beautiful! Seeing all of the lights from the lightsticks and seeing people bond together; no wonder the boys get all teary eyed at each concert. It really is a beautiful sight. Later on, we left the arena at around 11:00, kinda danced to the street drummers before headed back to the car. As we drove away, I felt this overwhelming sense of calming sadness. You know, when you go out and have fun, literally the time of your life, you don’t want that feeling to end but you know it has to. It felt weird and we ended up having like this deep conversation, it was mostly me rambling lol.

October 3rd...

-Earlier in the day-

I woke up, quickly showered and got dressed because I knew I was going to be at the arena all day because I had GA standing...

Quick note, I did give my Uber driver a lesson on BTS and his reactions were priceless especially when I informed him of all their hard work and achievements. It was full of “shit!”’s And “aw damn!”’s Because he couldn’t believe it lol. The more I thought about it, the more I smiled to myself. I felt proud for stanning such an amazing group.😭😭

Anyways, I made it back up to the arena at around 9:40 and this time I had to stand in the GA line, which also wrapped around two corners. Fucking A!!!! It didn’t seem like it was that many people and I guess my number would be between 500-700 but I was hella wrong because I was number 1,019 in line by the time I got my wristband. Lmao! FUCK!

I was supposed to meet up with people I had met the previous day but didn’t and it was all good because I met people not only in line but also once I gotten my wristband. Shoutout to y’all! ✌🏾✌🏾

Crazy enough, there was someone in line who gave away two extra GA tickets for free! I should have taken it and gave it away to one of the girls I met who didn’t have a ticket. (My first regret of the day).

While waiting until lineup time, which was at 4, I hung out with two other girls who were really sweet and kind, SUPER funny, and multi fandom. They shared concert experiences and are even planning on traveling to New York for their final U.S tour date. If one of you see this post, HAVE FUN, GURLS! I HOPED Y’ALL TURNED THE FUCK UP!!! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾

The weather was beautiful. It was around 86/87 and the WIND WAS BLOWING! WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU, MIN YOONGI?! WAS IT STILL HOT THEN?! (Actually it was but at least we had a breeze, which technically was blowing everyone and everything away lmao.)

We even spotted video crew, interviewing fans about an upcoming “documentary”. 😏🤫 I have my own theory as to what this footage is going to be used for and I’m gonna wait until it drops to prove it. Word on the street, they were asking the arena staff members for more people to interview.😁

I met a lot of people and it brought me so much joy hearing how excited they were especially if it was their first time seeing them. I ended up waiting inside the arena while charging a friend’s phone and we heard BTS rehearsing! We assumed it was soundcheck but it wasn’t because the soundcheck line was still outside so that was a bonus. We even kept spotting BTS crew members walking in and out of the area where they were singing😫.

-The Concert-

When the time came, I had to get back in line in the order of the wristband to enter inside the arena. Idk if this applies at future concerts but if you get a large number, don’t assume you will get in line to enter the arena early. Security was strict to tell people to either get in their numerical spots or go to the end of the line. I was told this was because of the Wings Concert lineup was a mess last year so they’re trying to be fair and restore order. We lined up at about 4/4:30 but the doors didn’t open until 5:30 (at least for us, i think). We all tried to keep ourselves busy while we waited and everyone at least got some free shit in the process. Someone handed me Hoseok photo cards of him and his hands.😁

I had my boots in hand because I wasn’t gonna put those bad boys on and have my feet hurting all day (good thing too because I didn’t get into the arena until 6:40). In fact, I planned on putting them on just before going inside because I wanted to annoy security and set off the metal detectors like I did the previous day. It brought my trifling ass great joy watching three officers trying to figure out what it was until I told them it was the boots, thus them giving me the name “boots”. Lmao!

They scanned my ticket, gave me another wristband, and I entered into the arena listening to thousands of fans scream and cheer for our boys. It was really a sight. Turns out, despite my number being so high, I was still pretty close to the end of the stage. But the bad part was that, while standing there, my feet were starting to hurt. On top of that, people started fainting left and right and the concert didn’t even start. I was beginning to worry because being in GA isn’t ideal as people think. You are jam packed in a crowd. It’s hot, people are screaming, some are angry, you will get shoved and pushed around; all while trying to get closer to stage.

But once the lights went out and the opening started, everything turned around. Some of my time was spent trying to free up storage on my phone which I hated😤😤. My phone made my videos appear farther than what it actually was. Thanks Apple.

OH! Let me just warn you guys! Even though we watch them on our phones, televisions, and computers; nothing compares to seeing them up close and personal. I was shock to how close I was to them and couldn’t help up stare up at them with my mouth open. THEY ARE BREATHTAKING!! But the two members who really caught my eye were Namjoon and Hoseok! FUCK! They look 1000 times better in person. I couldn’t even think for a period of time. I kinda zoned out lol. Yoongi mostly stayed over by our side of the stage with his fine ass which was fine by me and Tae, Jungkook, Jimin and Jin!... my god! They all look so good!😩😩😩

You know, I’m not a fan of musicians jumping into the crowd of audience members. But after that night, I was counting on them to. Lmao! In fact, I’m disappointed that they didn’t.🤣😂🤣😂 jk... maybe😏

The boys performed effortlessly and PUT ON A SHOW (*hinting at all the other fan videos lol*). The solos, rap line, and vocal line performances were, hands down, memorable. I loved for Trivia: Love, Namjoon brought the other members back out to dance with him.😍😍 This time go round, they performed Setlist B! So you know what this means?! They performed bapsae and YALL KNOW I HAD TO GET IT ON VIDEO!!!!

And of course, the moment everyone dreaded... the ending.

*Sigh* it was an amazing experience overall and I was glad I was able to experience it. It gave me insight on what to do differently and plan for next time; and they did said that they would come back next year and I plan on holding them to that lol.

Message to the boys:

I want to say thank you. Thank you for being who you are and being open to sharing a part of your life with us. I know being an idol, especially international superstars, is difficult at times but you guys never complain. In fact, you push through and your determination is front and center. Even while you performed both days, I couldn’t help but take the time to look around at all the people you’ve brought together. People from all walks of life, different cultural backgrounds, people of different age groups; all brought together because of you. Together we are here to support you! “We are the same.” Thank you! And thank you for the experience! I am thankful and grateful I was able to see the love a group shares with their fandom. Keep up the great work and I look forward to your return and seeing you all again. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💜💜💜💜

[dont-blame-em]

These are the notes I wrote once I was home from the #TSNow party

"Took me an extra hour & half to get to Chicago

Parked and got in a line in front of the address given at 5:40ish

Shortly after 6 we showed an ID to get inside then were given a wristband depending on age and a color attached depending on time

Once checked in they collected phones and put them in a ziplock with a number 

Then we went through metal detectors and boarded a bus

I was on the first bus and on the way there we listened to rep(endgame-getaway car) I had no idea where we were or what was around so I was trying to look at addresses to Google later all I remember is 1800 ravenwood? 

Basically we were dropped off in a back alley of a wearhouse and as soon as we pulled up there were videographers and photographers everywhere along with staff and security

Inside was a bunch of photo booths and arcade games along with a dancefloor and bar

Also the bathrooms we're fully stocked- I took gum.

Whenever you played a game or took a photo you received tickets then you could use them to purchase or redeem merch

I got 2 shirts a sweatshirt a fanny pack 3 bags and then 2 bags of patches from the claw machine and also a Polaroid camera

So we thought that was it but we had no concept of time what so ever 

Then out of no where a garage door opened and behind I was a stage set up

I was directly in front of the stage but next to the piano so kinda towards the back

Taylor played gorgeous delicate all too well New year's day and shake it off

It was so close so loud and so amazing

Then before shake it off and before she left the stage she had told us in groups of 4 we would be taking pictures

I was grouped with other people there alone 

They lined up according to the color attached to your bracelet so red (me) was the first group

When it was our turn we had to go upstairs and through some antique looking things then on a bridgewalkway over the stage and then to a room to meet taylor we had about 5 minutes with her and all hugged her and got to say something I mentioned Cassie's graduation cap and he rain show

For our picture I got to stand next to her but I'm nervous to see if it tourned out well or not we get them in 24-48 hrs

After our photo we could hang out they were still passing around food include mini poptarts

And then when you were ready to leave there was a phone pick up table which lead you to he buses to go back to the first location

I forgot to mention on our way out after meeting Taylor we got to speak with Andrea about all sorta of things including how Taylor makes us feel like her friends and the production of the rep tour from all levels of a stadium and how Taylor started by free events for fans

Tonight was amazing and still doesn't feel real I know here is more I could add but it is also a bit of a blur because it went by so fast

Overall it was an amazing night and I can't wait to receive our pictures but also to watch it play on Taylor Swift now"

[katieamazeballs]

MVP Recap

Ok, guys.....sorry this is late but I 100% waited until today to do this because #1 It’s faster to type it on the computer than on the phone and #2 I’m now getting paid to do this.  (Who’s the real winner here).  Also....I can post this with a fancy page break so it doesn’t hog everyone’s feed.  But before the break....have a pic......

(As per my now usual.....I will post about my experience more than the dances, because you can find those online or will be seeing them yourselves.)

To start off the day, I finally got to meet My Girl and it was AMAZING!  We met at her hotel then went to dinner.  As we predicted, the girls were instant besties and so were we.  (I love it when a plan comes together).  When we got to dinner the girls sat with My Girl and I sat with her hysterical mom, Nonna.  We had good food and good conversation and it was really nice to have a meal with “my people” and discuss DWTS the entire time.  The best part, however, was Nonna telling me no less than 7 times “I don’t like-ah that Maks.  He’s a jerk”.  (read that in a thick Italian accent).   

(Abbie killed it with this selfie)

After dinner, we found our way to the theater.  I was no help, of course, because I don’t do downtown even though I’ve lived here for 34 of my 38 years.  As we were looking for parking we saw the buses straight ahead, lining both sides of the street.  We saw Ivan outside smoking (wtf dude) and JT.  Once we parked, moved the car to a different spot, and took selfies, we made our way to the theater.  As we were walking up we saw a guy with big girly hair standing by Val’s bus talking on the phone. We were all like “OMG....is that Val?!?!”.  The girls and I started booking it and got closer, that wasn’t Val but OMG HOLY CRAP he was right there in front of us!!  We attempted to approach him and the worlds grumpiest security guard stopped us in our tracks. 

(Seriously.....look at her looking at me like I’m gonna rush him or something!  Trust me when I say she plays a theme throughout the night and imagine that face any time I mention “Bitchy Security Guard” or “BSG”.)

Well.....Val didn’t take too kindly to his fans being treated that way and told us to come take pics but that we had to do it quick because he needed to get inside to get ready.  I have to say....much like Brandon, pictures do not do this man justice.  He is really really really good looking in person.  I mean REALLY.  Gahdamn, Valentin. 

(Notice the guy in the red flannel who is NOT Maks and will not be Maks at any point in the evening no matter how many times we thought he was)

Y’all be proud of Abbie.....she was given strict instructions of things she was banned from saying (I hate Jenna because she STOLE you from me.....and You used to be my favorite but now you’ve been replaced because Jenna STOLE YOU).  Girl handled herself like the sane fangirl we all knew she could be and didn’t even cry. 

(Notice the death grip she has on him)

She showed him her purse and “may” have scared him a tad.�� He went “Whoa!”

(She keeps shirtless Val in the center.....because Mama ain’t raising no fool)

After we met Val.....and I failed to remember that I was lugging his book around in my damn purse and forgot to get it signed (I win at life, I swear), we were told exactly where we were allowed to stand and if we so much as took a deep breath, BSG reminded us that we weren’t allowed to move from that spot.  Then she would sigh and roll her eyes at us.  We tried to see other cast but it was getting chilly and windy (scroll back up and look at the chick’s pony in the pic of BSG) and it was getting closer to show time so they were all inside.  Before we left we did get to see Katie the Nanny taking Shai from the venue to the bus.  He is freakin adorable!  His little curls and his little wave to his adoring fans were on point!  I do not have a picture of this because #1 It happened super quick and #2 It’s not my baby and that’s kindof weird and intrusive and BSG was still side eying us and I’m pretty sure she would have taken my phone and deleted all the pics or something in retaliation.  She was seriously bitchy and hated her job. 

We got inside the venue and hit the merch stand.  We all got our shirts (to my surprise, Abs picked the white tour tee instead of the Team Val tee).  We found our way upstairs, got drinks, and found our seats.  They were pretty decent seats except for we had to sit forward to see the very front of the stage if they laid down (a few times) and couldn’t see them picking the people out of the audience.  The show was, of course, amazing.  In my opinion, it was better than the DWTS show.  Those Chmerkovskiy’s can dance!!!!  I’ve heard that Peta is amazing live, but that doesn’t do her justice.  She truly is the queen and literally commands the stage when she’s on it.  There were moments of great group numbers, moments of hilarity (the dad dance and the stripper section), and gut wrenching serious moments.  It really does tell a story through dance and we all loved it.  What you probably don’t see in the YouTube videos of the dad dance is Kiki has twins.  Abs is still laughing about those twins and when the baby sneezes and Maks yells “It got in my eye!”.  During the Chippen Val/Magic Maks section they pull up the lady out of the audience.  Let me tell you.....that lady was living her best life.  She was so funny!  Throughout the show we were annoyed by the group behind us.  There were about 8 or 10 of them and they talked the entire show.  I’m not talking quiet respectful whispers.....these bitches were straight up chit chatting.  I did giggle at one point because the oldest of them was totally Team Nonna.  They were doing their first talking section and this chick pipes up with “I’ve always hated Maks.....he’s such an arrogant jackass”.  During the super emotional break up section....it was so quiet in there you could hear a pin drop.  I had been annoyed the entire show, but at this point I started to get a little concerned that because it was so quiet in there (that section is riveting) that Maks and Peta would actually hear these bitches trying each others wine in an attempt to figure out which one had the tastiest.  Seriously y’all.....they were SO LOUD!  At this point, I turned around and said “PLEASE stop talking!”.  They shushed to heated whispers through the rest of the show but if one of us so much as looked at each other they’d say “NO TALKING!”.  At the end of the show they got up and left during the final bows (seriously the rudest group of drunk bitches ever).  I booked it out after the show to pee.  Abs didn’t have to so she went to stand outside of the bathroom to wait for the rest of our group.  I hear “That’s HER!” and look over and these bitches were WAITING for me to come out of the theater!  They start yelling “We are at a concert!!!  Talking is expected in this type of situation!  And you were rude too!!!”  (of note....no one ever said they were rude)  Abs is looking at me with huge eyes and I was like “Wait...how was I rude!  You know what...never mind....Abbie get over here!”.  I drug her into the bathroom still completely appalled at their behavior.  Be proud that I was an adult and didn’t engage.  Once all of our group was done, and these bitches are still standing there waiting, we just kind of grabbed the girls put our heads down and booked it out of there. 

We got outside and went to stand by the buses again.  BSG was still manning her post and was quite possibly in an even worse mood than before.  She seriously hates fans.  She should probably look into different employment.  Thankfully we had a different security guard posted to our standing area.  He was funny and nice and roughly the size of a mountain range.  He didn’t seem to be that huge of a guy but he had a chest and shoulders that somehow blocked the entire sidewalk.  He also must know us (is our picture up in these venues or something) because dude kept a super close eye on Abs.  She must have looked shifty to him.  He’s a smart man and I wish I would have taken a pic with him.  We stood there and stood there and stood there some more.  We had met Val, but wanted to talk to him again (because my damn book) and Makayla really wanted to meet Peta.  My goal was to meet Val (for Abs of course....ha) and meet either Maks or Peta to personally give them Shai’s hat.  Peta came out loaded down with bags and went to the bus.  She came back out and headed our way to go into a different door (probably to get food, they all went in there) and said she’d come back.  While we were waiting, we saw quite a few of the dancers coming out.  Ivan was standing there talking to a crew member and since no one else would pipe up I yelled his name.  He waved and I asked for a picture.  He was super nice and came over (Mt. Everest was amused by this).

After meeting him, both girls (and the rest of the small crown of about 15-20) were oohing and aahing over how good he smelled and I realized that my damn sinuses are still acting up and I didn’t smell anything.  I thought back to meeting Val (when both girls had the same reaction) and I thought my lack of smelling him was just because we caught him before the show and he wasn’t freshly showered.....apparently my inconspicuous deep breaths when I was standing with him were just fail. I’m super salty about this.  Seriously.....I may not ever be ok with the fact that I didn’t smell Val.  Shortly after we met Ivan, we saw Emily standing there.  She also came over when I got her attention and asked for a picture.  Mt. Everest was again amused by me while the others were plotting how they could always manage to be by me at bus meets because I not only recognized everyone by name, but was brave enough to call them over. 

I think it was at this point that My Girl’s girl was attempting to convince her mom that they should come to Jax to do all tours with me and Abs.......I don’t think she was successful.  Lol.   At some point in this process, we saw JT a few more times.  I really wanted to get a pic with him.  I yelled his name and he threw a half hearted wave, then looked over and said “Oh Hey” and waved harder.  He did not come over for a picture.  He must actually have recognized me....he was like “Yep...that’s a nope all day long, that bitch is cray”.  He has since been relieved of his best friend duties....but it’s ok because Nicole and Alyssa (Serge’s gf) have agreed that they are better choices anyways. 

Finally.....the queen emerged and came right over to our group.  She is strikingly beautiful in person and so so so tiny.  She could probably share clothes with Abs!  I gave her a hug and told her I had made a gift for Shai for his morning inspections.  She laughed and then peeked in the bag.  She awe’d and thought it was adorable!  (Totally winning at life here). 

She chit chatted with our group for a bit and talked about how they had had to adjust and reblock that day because the stage was a tight squeeze (which explains all the rehearsal stories) and lamented the weird lights outside that went from normal to pink to red (which is why the pics are kindof weird).  Abs asked where Maks was and she laughed and said she had no idea and that she hadn’t seen him since bows.  As she left she thanked me again for the hat and said she’d post it on insta.  I’m really hoping he’ll wear it (toddlers are iffy on hats....and all things really) but I’m pretty sure she’ll post it some how if he won’t wear it. 

(Of note....I could smell her.....she smells like a girl.....flowery lotion.  It makes me more salty)

We waited a bit longer and still no sign of Maks or Val.  It was getting late and even more chilly and windy and we decided to call it quits at 11.  The time came and after me having to snap at Abs (she is a determined fangirl), we made our exit with the agreement that one of the remaining group would watch us until we got to the corner and they’d yell Maks’ name real loud so we could come running back.  Mt. Everest thought this was hysterical and kept waving to us while we walked off looking back every 5 seconds.  We made our way back to the hotel, I was again no help because while I can confidently get myself home from downtown....the hotel was on the other side of the river and I had no idea how to get there.  The girls were passed out approx 37 seconds into the drive home.  When we got there Nonna popped out of the van and looked down and saw her shirt button was undone.  She goes “Oh look at me, all naked!”  I died.  She is the best and I might steal her.  We sadly said our goodbyes and Abs and I headed home.  After I got home (about 11:45) I went to check and saw @loveisstatic was the lone hold out and got to meet Maks.  I bet she really got the wrath of BSG for waiting so long.  (Girl...you gotta vouch for me on BSG....she was serious!)  All in all, we had the absolute best time and I can’t wait to do it again.....next year.....after my wallet stops crying.

[jeoncooky]

My WINGS Tour Experience (Hong Kong 14052017)

After remaking I’m posting this again to have this somewhere safe in my blog lol

I was wondering whether I should write something down about my experience from this Sunday. As some of you know, I went to BTS’s concert in Hong Kong this Sunday (14th May) and even though I don’t know whether any of my followers are interested to hear about my thoughts of the experience, I thought I would write this anyway so that I would have some written memories left in a few months after this date.

I booked the tickets through my friend back in March during the pre-sale, so unfortunately I can’t help you much if you happen to have questions about them. I got a B2 standing zone ticket (the last one they had on pre-sale apparently!!) and it was 1705HKD in total, so not too bad considering the concert was 2,5 hours in total. Asia-World Expo in general is actually not that big arena, I was actually surprised how small the Hall 1 was! The standing area was not full at all even though the concert was sold out, so there was a lot of room to move around!

Okay, back to the day of the concert. As I wanted to buy some merch, I went to the arena at 10am in the morning thinking there wouldn’t be much people. Turns out, of course there were a lot of people. I ended up lining up for about two hours to get my t-shirt (which luckily didn’t sell out omg i was so worried!!) and I even had a really nice American army with me as my company and we got to talk a lot during those hours haha. All the people I met were super nice and friendly even though not everyone spoke English, but I appreciated it anyway! There were people handing out things (as always i guess) and one girl in the line to the security check asked which member was my bias (I reluctantly responded Tae, but I was so conflicted HOW CAN I CHOOSE OK) and she handed me this cute bag with tae’s picture on it omg (I get excited about the smallest things ok?).

After getting my merch I returned back to my hotel and only returned to the arena just before 4pm. Turns out, they opened the doors from the holding area at 4pm and I just lost my queueing place by being late (like 15 mins)… But it wasn’t too bad, as I said, there was a lot of space and I was actually in the second row at the back (like really close to one part of the stage!) I’ve never been in a concert where my ticket has been checked so many times but lol maybe that’s just me.

Personally I think the first part of the concert was musically the best (Not Today, Baepsae, Am I Wrong(?) ahhh I don’t remember to be honest), or perhaps I was just the most hyped during those few minutes because they were the first minutes after seeing BTS for the first time. The moment the fabric covering the stage dropped and the first notes of Not Today started blasting around the arena were magical! It’s just my personal opinion, but some songs clearly worked better live than others. Cypher 4, Not Today, Baepsae, First Love, Awake, Reflection, Wings, 2,3 and Spring Day were my favourites, while I didn’t really feel that much during 21st century girls (even though I love the song!). I gotta give it to the boys tho, they had so much energy throughout the concert that even I was exhausted (and I didn’t even do anything but sing along and dance and scream ehe). They looked semi tired though, but that is given considering how busy they’ve been in the past few weeks and months. I hope after this tour they get at least some time to rest!

During the first part they also introduced themselves and it was even more amazing and cute than i expected! Suga’s *i-pretend-i-didn’t-hear-you* is hilarious and Hobi’s I’M YOUR HOPE IS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD.

After the first part they did together, Jungkook appeared on stage alone with some dancers to do Begin. LET ME TELL YOU I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT DANCING BUT HE IS AMAZING AND I LOVED IT AHHHHHHHHHHHH DID I REALLY HEAR THAT SONG LIVE OMG YES.

Next was Jimin’s Lie, and tbh my mind blanks when I think about that stage. He is gorgeous and omg the part where he dances with his eyes blindfolded AND THE PART WHERE THEY LIFT HIM ahhhhhhhhh. And his vocals were amazing, I really loved the high notes!!!

Suga’s First Love was simply beautiful. Unlike other songs before, the audience actually quieted down and mostly just listened to Yoongi’s rap and only shouted a few words along him. When the song ended(?) the audience started repeatedly shouting Yoongi’s name (Min Yoongi, Min Yoongi, Ming Yoongi - I felt like crying tbh it felt magical how taken the whole arena was by him)

Next was the vocal line’s Lost, and it was also the first song that was performed semi close to me (on the middle stage). The song is not my favourite, but I still loved it (well I loved the whole concert so is there really need for me to stay this over and over again lolololol). Then the rap line appeared for Save ME and OMG YES PLEASE SAVE ME. Was Dope next? I just remember Jungkook doing something but idk. And INU came as well (the audience exploded ok but that was expected INU IS THAT GOOD)

Out of the solo songs Reflection was actually one of the best live - it’s not my favourite from the album, but it really works live. I could feel the emotions in Namjoon’s voice and when the audience started chanting “We Love You” towards the end of the songs I got chills all around my body I swear.

For some reason I don’t remember much of Stigma??? BUT V BBY I LOVE YOU AND THE HIGH NOTES AT THE END OMFG B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!! There was supposed to be a fan project for V’s song but for some reason I didn’t see people holding up the sign? :///

Then MAMA! It works really well live and it’s such a fun song to sing along! It was mother’s day, so it felt even more special that day. AND THE END WHEN HOBI SMILES AND THANKS HIS MOM AND THE AUDIENCE SINGS ALONG AND OMFG

Awake was amazing! Jin’s vocals were on point that night, and he is one of the members who really stood out that night. The long high note really hit me personally and ahhhhhhhhhhh I loved it so much! There was also supposed to be a project for Jin’s song as well but idk what happened to it???

THEN CYPHER 4 OMG I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER BEEN THAT HYPED ABOUT ANYTHING THAT SONG WAS GREATER THAN GREAT AND DON’T LET ME GET STARTED ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY LOOKED AND SOUNDED AND OH HOW AM I ALIVE

I think Fire came after that? Maybe? 3:33 was as impactful as I thought it would be! I think Jimin fell right after that though, and I was so worried for a few moments but he seemed to be okay afterwards. Jimin seemed probably the most tired that night tho, or maybe I just imagined it but I really hope he’s getting a lot of rest!!!!

During N.O I lost it because that was the first time BTS walked right by me I WAS LIKE 3 METERS AWAY I COULD SEE SWEAT ON THEIR FOREHEADS I AM STILL NOT OKAY LIKE HOW DO THEY LOOK SO PERFECT IRL IT SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE. Like I knew they are good-looking but guys, it really isn’t photoshop you’re seeing YOU’RE SEEING BASICALLY PERFECTION omfg. Suga, Jungkook and Namjoon walked right past me (Suga was so cool?? That’s what I remember thinking… JK did a cute little spin and NAMJOON DID A BODY ROLL AND I THINK I DIED I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT RUDENESS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I STILL CANNOT UNSEE IT NAMJOON WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY can you see how struck i was by rapmon)

Because they were so close for the rest of the concert I think my judgement of anything musical was just gone, but oh well. During No More Dream and Danger rest of the members came by my area too (first V, then Jimin, then maybe Jin and Hobi ahhhhhh i don’t remember??). Jimin was so cool as well omg!

My mind kinda blanks after that, but Boy in Luv, Run and 21st century girls happened. I remember screaming a lot. Yeah.

BOY MEETS EVIL IS IMPORTANT wow Hobi is not from this world. He was far away but the song just makes you so hyped and his dancing is out of this worldddddd. It’s kinda sad they cut the song just before the chorus thing at the end lmao the audience started to sing it and then it cut :((( Before they disappeared for a while they did BS&T, and I just remember V’s parts tbh but it was great ok it was great.

They obviously had some small speeches in between, but they were mostly in Cantonese-ish (sometimes Korean), so I cannot tell you much about what they were about. But it didn’t take away from the experience tbh! Suga’s face at one point was hilarious (I think he forgot how to pronounce his line?? I was thinking “same yg, same lmao). And Jin’s hanger heart was so extra but cute hahahaha.

Then came a short VCR in Chinese so too bad, I still don’t know what i was actually about SO ANY OF YOU WHO KNOW PLEASE TELL ME I WAS SO CONFUSED AND LOST hahhahaha

Photography and videos were actually not allowed in the arena and there were people stopping audience from filming but i think they kinda gave up in the end?? Because everyone basically had their phones up (I might have done that as well for a few seconds tbh, but I really tried to focus on the concert and not touch my phone for the most of it).

After some time Bangtan appeared back on stage to do Outro:Wings (and we did the BTS HK fan union fan project, slogan saying “Together let’s fly even higher” in Korean. Afterwards NJ told us they saw the signs and thanked us (and told us what it means in English haha. I also held the sign upside down for like the first 20 seconds because they were walking towards me and I panicked ok). During that song they came to my part again, and wow they were suddenly so energetic?? I’M PROUD TO SAY I’VE SEEN JIN’S HAND KISSES LIVE AND THEY ARE CHEESY BUT GREAT ahahaha. I remember looking at JK’s earrings and thinking that they looked cool (now that i think about it afterwards why on earth did i spend time looking at his earrings lmao). V came by as well and did his adorable flower pose right in front of me ;__; I’m not ok. Suga just walked coolly by us again ahahaha he didn’t really waste time posing much lol ‘S OK I STAN THE RIGHT MAN GOSH I ADORE HIM. Hobi flew by us as well (like literally flew with his hands on his sides OMFG HOW IS HE SO EXTRA AND CUTE). Towards the end they returned back to the middle to do Hobi’s rap (Tae looks at Hobi so lovingly when he does his part???? wow he is a fan)

Then Namjoon thanked us and told us our time was approaching the end so they would do two more songs. 2,3 started playing and I legit started crying (ehe). As it was May 14th (Rose Valentines day?) we did a pink ocean for Bangtan - it was really pretty!

Last song was Spring Day and did I cry? Yes. The song is very meaningful and personal to me, and only then I realized Bangtan would be leaving soon and wow it was depressing but beautiful. Afterwards they walked to the end and bowed and thanked us a few more times and then returned back to the front AND WOW THE POSES THEY DID I MEAN YOU’VE SEEN JIN&JK&YG etc videos going around wow they are beautiful and cute and precious I love them so much.

Oh wow this is way too long, messy and probably not even good but I wanted to write something in order to have something to read when I really want to remember things. The night was amazing, even though I didn’t eat the whole day and almost fainted at some point and apparently screwed up my knee (it’s 2 days later and I still can’t walk properly LOL) and the flight tickets cost a lot but IT WAS DEFINITELY 100% WORTH IT. If you ever have a chance to see Bangtan, I recommend it, it’s worth it.

So yeah, this Sunday happened. It was beautiful. I love them so much. I basically owe them my life, my happiness and I’m so grateful. I wish them great things in life and I hope some day I’ll have a chance to see them again ♥

[my-job-is-to-fangirl]

I went for my first ever concert this April in Bangkok with two of my best friends (Nabi and Bunky, as mentioned in my other Bangkok posts). I am still not over the fact that we actually went, and it’s been four months. I just thought I’d make a blog post because I think I can handle looking back at the videos now without hyperventilating. (edit- I couldn’t.)

Anyway, I will talk about everything in detail- the ticketing process, the days leading up to the concert, and the day of. Also, my ‘favourite moments’ list went on and on so I stopped after a while. Let’s begin! I hope this is slightly helpful at least, and if not, enjoy the video! xD

TICKETING We found out that they were having a concert in BKK in October and began the process of badgering our respective parents to let us go, and in my case, to come with us on the trip. Everything worked out pretty soon and we couldn’t handle our excitement. Then we remembered how hard it would be to get the actual tickets. We prepared ourselves for the worst, obviously, and I had my mom tell me practically everyday ‘don’t be disappointed if you don’t get tickets okay, you can try later’.

The tickets were going on sale in December, and I think we religiously prepared for the ticketing process for a good week before ‘the day’. I don’t think we slept the previous night, I have butterflies in my stomach even as I’m typing this that’s the sheer amount of anxiety we had about it. We all had notebooks with seating charts and which seats to aim for and everything ready. 

The morning of the ticketing, we were up by 6:30, ready with laptops and the webpage open (thaiticketmajor.com). And of course, our notebooks, a pen, and water to last us the hours ahead. Oh, most importantly, we had credit card details written down too. There would be a very tiny window to finish payment, assuming we got tickets. We were on a conference call, dying in anticipation. I had my aunt, mom, dad, and grandfather all walking around the house, probably thinking ‘these kids are mad’. They all helped though, they were my hype-people, giving me food and saying ‘have hope’ xD

It took forEVER to enter the damn website, and once we did, we had to wait in line. We also had other friends on the conference call to help us out- THANK YOU ALL, and all we said for hours was ‘my man moved!!’ (you’ll see in the picture below what I mean). We all used multiple browsers, and for me, Safari worked magic. I got in line at about 8 I think, and finally got into the website at around 9:45. We were on the website from 7 though, refreshing and waiting for it to open. I don’t know how mine was fast, we all got in line at the same time.

Once I reached the end of the line and entered the website properly, there was a lot of screaming in my earphones. ‘STAY CALM YOU CAN DO THIS WE NEED THESE TICKETS.’ I went through, picked seats that were close enough (after about a minute of deliberation, we didn’t have more time than that), and waited to see if it would go through. I think I had to change seats thrice because they were booked by the time I clicked on ‘select’, but we unknowingly got great seats (more on that later). My aunt was sitting ready with card details so we went ahead and paid!! Again, there was a lot of screaming. I think we all went silent for a few seconds just taking it in.

This is what it looked like in the beginning. The man kept walking and taking the green line with him.

Now, the next three months, we kept counting down and planning our trip, it was so much fun researching where to go and what to eat at the 7/11’s (okay that was mainly me). Buying and figuring out what to wear at the concert, listing places to shop there, what to do on the day of the concert- our priorities.

THE MORNING OF 7.4.19 My parents obviously didn’t come for the concert, but they spent that day taking care of us and giving us food because we were so excited, it was like having an out-of-body experience, I swear. We got up by 6:30, got ready (not in concert wear, because the concert was in the evening, and we were going to come back to the hotel after collecting the tickets because it was quite close by to the venue), ate breakfast and went to the venue. We walked around a little bit to find the stalls for tickets. We were greeted by posters of each of the members and a HUGE one of all of them with the concert details.

This is the clearest one I have.

We were sitting in line in the sweltering heat, but thankfully it didn’t take too long, we were early and there weren’t that many people.

  We didn’t know it would be that hot, we didn’t have anything to cover our heads with. Anyway, we got our tickets pretty quickly and then stood in line for army bombs. They give you a sheet with all the merch and you have to select everything you want so it becomes easier. We just got those, got them synced to our respective seats, and then got Fanta xD they were selling giant cups of ice with whatever flavour of Fanta, we all got strawberry. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to include that detail. We then went and got small fans outside on the street. We saw 90% of the people holding fans and we thought ‘oh we can take the heat we’re from India’, but god no we needed them. [Random shoutout to the really sweet girl from Indonesia I stood in front of in line for the army bombs :D] While leaving, a random girl was coming to each of us and saying ‘sorry, please take this’, and I thought it was a pamphlet or something, but it was a cute Hobi sticker ㅠㅠ The concert experience had officially begun xD

EVENING We left at around 4 to go to the venue, the concert was at 7. Adventure time (not the show)- We were in the cab on the way, and the cab driver stopped somewhere and started to talk to us in Thai. We kept telling him we needed him to speak in English and finally, he told us we had to get down there. Google maps showed that we were almost 2 km away from the venue, we thought we could walk, but there was traffic for as far as the eye could see, and we’d get all sweaty and disgusting. While we were contemplating what to do, there were a lot of guys wearing traffic vests (I am so sorry I don’t know what they’re called) and one guy spoke into his phone and showed us google translate, it said we had to get out here and cars weren’t allowed past the point because of traffic. They said they’d drop us on bikes to the venue, and after seeing a lot of other girls going, we decided to go too. This was honestly one of my highlights of the trip, it was so much fun, and such a good initiative.

ANYWAY. We went in and were ogling all the people there, MAN they dressed so well. We saw a queue in the middle somewhere and thought we had to go for the bag check so we joined in. IT TURNED OUT TO BE A GIRL GIVING OUT A FREEBIE. We were so happy with it. We walked around, joined a lot more queues, we couldn’t be stopped, it was too good to be true. We collected so many freebies, and the quality of the photocards and whatever they gave was so so so good, it was unbelievable that people were just giving them out for free. That’s how nice Army’s are :’))))) Here are all the freebies I got.

the first freebie we got, its a sticker :’)

this was for us to place our ticket in the centre, we didn’t :p

love this one.

the other side of the card above. the quality of this card is amazing

kook postcard!

the girl who gave this to us is friends with honeyjoonie94 we were so excited!

this girl told everyone to take two Jin pictures each I love them

the Jikook and Vkook ones were literally packaged in plastic covering, look at the dedication :’)

all together now, lets say thank you armyyyyyy.

Where all the queues were happening.

our beautiful tickets :’)

Army time :’) We were so lucky to get a banner with lyrics from Moonchild, it made it extra special ㅠㅠ

Standing around for a little more, we finally went inside the stadium. I’m not kidding, we all almost cried just entering the place.

LOOK AT IT I MEAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

There’s not much to say about the actual concert other than they were amazing, we’re still not fully convinced they’re human, anyone who says they’re not good live, please show this to them for proof that they exist on a meal of their own CD’s. That’s how good they are. BTS has been such a huge part of my life for the past two and a half years, only armys will understand how happy we get when we see them or listen to them. They really are something else, and something so different from usual artists, they never, ever fail to make me smile.

Best moments (in no particular order) in bullet points because otherwise, this will get way too long:

1- Love. Screaming 사랑 사랑 사랑 was the best thing ever, I will never forget the army bombs making purple hearts in the crowd. 2- Yoongi in the glorious red suit for Seesaw + his choker later on. 3- Serendipity- Jimin sitting on the stage like a baby. My friend who isn’t even army watched the clip and said it made her so happy :’) 4- I DON’T KNOW NAN MOLLA. 5- Them walking towards our side. We were shocked by how close our seats were, we had no idea. And we could see them up so close ㅠㅠ 6- Tear. That’s all. 7- Chanting Jhope for Just Dance. We screamed it for a long time and you could see the surprise on Hobi’s face, it was adorable. 8- The fact that we actually got to see Run and I Need U live is insane. 9- Baepsaeeee. We wanted this medley solely for Baepsae. If you know, you know. 10- Euphoria. I feel like Koo and yellow army bombs together were perfect :’) 11- Singularity. Unreal ethereal out of this world beauty of Kim Taehyung cannot be explained. 12- Epiphany. Singing ‘I’m the one I should love’ felt cathartic. I put a nice long clip in the video. 13- Ours being the last concert of the Love Yourself tour was a blessing. 14- Jimin’s adlibs in The Truth Untold. 15- Mic Drop red cult+dance break+Yoongi. 16- Anpanman. This was one of the songs I was most excited for because they’re always so chaotic. 17- So What. I never listened to this song much, but after seeing it live, I love it. It brings back memories of just so much energy and the rush of being there. Also fake ‘mist’ that was apparently water. 18- Army time with Love Myself+confetti. 19- Seeing 50,000 people on the streets all waiting for cabs. I had to include this because it was just so fun xD 20- The number of freebies we got I LOVE ARMIES. 21- Curly hair JK. YEAH WE GOT TO SEE OUR 90’S HEARTTHROB LIVE. 22- The rain. The rain that did certain wonderful things. Again, if you know, you know. Just look up Namjoon pictures from that day, you’re welcome. 23- Tae speaking Thai was the cutest thing ever. 24- Fire dance break. 25- FANCHANT. I was living for it. 26- Army bomb. Just buying it and having it in my shelf now. What a feeling. 27- Large cups of iced Fanta. yes, it’s a highlight for me. 28- There was this girl who screamed ‘Park Jimin, ULJIMA’. An icon. 29- Seeing armys all over the city felt like some weird dream. Honestly from the minute we landed, they were everywhere. In the airport, in the hotel (there were about 60 armys in our hotel), on the streets, e v e r y w h e r e. 30. Going to an actual BTS concert was a dream of ours for two years and we were lucky enough that everything worked out in the end. I couldn’t be happier. I haven’t sung in like 15 years, but I did that day. And the next time I sing will be at another concert, I hope, only in the presence of 50,000 people who truly love these boys. It was a surreal experience, and what made it even better was going with two friends who mean so much to me.

[In conclusion- this is what I wrote the day after our concert in my journal- ‘Joon is poreless. Hobi is everything. Tae is beauty. JK is baby. Jimin is angel. Yoongi is pale. Jin is ethereal.]

Okay bye. I’m glad I finally made this post. Now enjoy the video! I made a video with all the clips, the individual ones are huge and not viewable. I had to upload it on youtube because I thought it wouldn’t upload here. Anyway, you have two options now :p

Love Yourself.

  Post (BTS) concert depression is real ㅠㅠ I went for my first ever concert this April in Bangkok with two of my best friends (Nabi and Bunky, as mentioned in my other Bangkok posts).

[chiyamabunny]

【MAMORU MIYANO LIVE TOUR 2016 ～MIXING!～】Yokohama Arena -December 17&18, 2016- Live Report

I’m finally writing this up! Sorry for such a long wait! (It’s also...super long, because I wrote about pretty much everything...^^; This report is mainly for my own remembering purposes, so sorry if things don’t make sense at times! AND I FINISHED IT IN TIME FOR MAMO’S BIRTHDAY! Mamo-chan, happy birthday~ ^^ Thank you so much for being you~)

I will talk about both days in my report! I’ll specify the day when it becomes relevant~ But I think I’d like to talk mainly about the 17th because that’s the day I went together with @aishiteruitsumo6 ^^ To talk a little bit about the morning of the 17th, after not getting any sleep the night before, (talking about Shoutan and Mamo in a convenience store for literally like, 3 hours in the middle of the night xD), the two of us met up super early that morning to go line up for goods! Kelly-chan was in charge of all the navigation…I’d never had made it to Yokohama arena without her!! (Thank you, Kelly-chan!!) We got to the Arena pretty early…there weren’t thhhhaaaat many people before us, but there were certainly many many more people that came after us! (When we went to go line up…there was a lady that dropped her glove in front of us and no one seemed to be picking it up…after asking Kelly-chan, I went back to grab it and find the person who dropped it to give it back to her. She was really thankful as she had been looking around her bag for it! I’m happy I went back for it!) While in line, I wrote my letter to Mamo-chan because I had procrastinated so much on it. xD Kelly-chan and I spoke mainly using English and I was freaking out over grammar in a specific section and another lady who was in line in front of us asked me if I needed help in English!! She spoke with very, very little accent! None at all almost and she helped me with the line! xD Kelly-chan also helped me a lot! (Thank you again!!) We entered the room with the goods soon and it was weird this time…because they didn’t give us sheets to check what we wanted at all…we went up to the people and told them what we wanted!! Which was a little terrifying because I wasn’t sure what I wanted!!! xD I tend to make lots of impulse buys, so having the sheet of paper had always been very helpful to budget money…xD Instead I was freaking out while standing in line, writing down on my iphone what I wanted and using the calculator on my iphone to calculate money. Mamo music played on a speaker system and it honestly sounded really odd…I think that the bass was turned up too high and there was very little treble in the sound. It made my head hurt a little but I was way too anxious over what I was going to buy. xD “Golden Night” came on though and I started dancing along during the chorus. I was super happy to see other people dancing along too~ Kelly-chan pointed it out to me that there were other people that started dancing too, uffufufu~ Another song that played over the speaker was “Not Alone”! Kelly-chan liked that one! ^^

After buying things and taking lots of pictures, and freaking out about some stuff…xD; The two of us went to go eat lunch…AND THE FOOD WASN’T THAT GREAT LOL, WE MADE A MISTAKE. We chose to eat this soba-ish soup? Because Kelly-chan wasn’t feeling well and it wouldn’t be best to eat anything that had too much flavoring and stuff…well, the soup tasted kinda awful ^^; I ordered a very sugary soup though that made up for it! I felt kinda guilty eating it because of how sugary it was, omg. xD

There was still at least 5 more hours until the doors to the Live opened and so the two of us sat outside for a little bit while I continued writing Mamo-chan’s letter and the two of us listened to Shoutan’s “Endless Song” CRIES, IT’S SO GOOD, (which I arranged for a flute quartet for my senior flute recital, uffufufu) anyways~ We stayed outside on the bench until it got a bit too cold and went and sat inside a McDonalds for the next several hours! That’s where I finished writing my letter to Mamo-chan…and the two of us also took semi-naps while in McDonalds. ^^; Mamo fans were everywhere btw!! I would look around and I’d see people with koitsu on their bag and carrying all kinds of merch…I always forget until I’m there that I always feel like I belong when I’m there…You walk around, and you see people who have koitsu on their bag, and wearing mamo merch…that’s not something that you see everyday in America. I always freak out when I see other people…but I have to contain myself so hard because they all think it’s normal…!!!

Anyways! Kelly-chan and I made our way to the venue soon and took lots of pictures and things!! ^^ They were playing the preview music videos of “The Birth” and “Tempest” on the display board on Yokohama Arena and I was flipping out because “The Birth” is a little….^^;;;; But anyways, we soon made our way inside and Kelly-chan helped me with giving my letter to a staff ^^; (Thank you again, Kelly-chan!!!) I took a bunch of more pictures of the flowers that people sent that were on display outside the seating~ There were so many pretty flowers! ^^

Kelly-chan and I made our way to the center stage!!!  First day pic:

(We were so blessed!!! The second day I was in the Stand...so far awayyy…but I’m still very thankful I was able to go ^^)  Second day pic: 

Anyways! A really tall dude was next to Kelly-chan and an elderly-ish man sat to my left. So many Mamo fans! ^^ We were freaking out because we were pretty close to the stage! ^^ I was so nervous…I was about to see Mamo-chan again after 4 months… ‘I’m going to see him soon, I’m going to see him soon’ I thought, freaking out, lol…

The lights dimmed, and I don’t remember if I screamed or not. Even if I didn’t out loud I was definitely screaming on the inside. No matter how many of Mamo-chan’s performances I go to, the excitement when the realization hits that I’m actually going to see Mamo-chan throws me off my mental balance every time ^^;

The screen in front of us went dark and the opening movie was starting!! It was a mixture of different movies…there was one of someone in a car (that was Mamo), then a person a podium in a suit (that was Mamo), a person floating in a room (thaat was Mamo too) but it wasn’t showing his face directly. Now pan to Mamo in lounging clothes in what kinda looks like a living room switching channels on a t.v. Everyone was screaming, lol. He yawned as he changed the channels and I heard giggles all around me~ He kept changing until it got to a boxing channel! His face lit up as he sat on the edge of his seat getting all excited. A guy in the boxing show was wearing a black loose jacket, a hood over his face (this was Mamo, lol) and right before he lifted his hood, the t.v. got all fuzzy. Mamo sighed and stood up to try and fix the t.v. but when he “fixed” it, it started flipping through each channel, showing that he, himself was the main character of each show. In the car, the camera panned to show Mamo holding a gun, rain pouring outside, in the room, the man floating was Mamo, on the podium in dorky glasses, was Mamo. And finally, the man in the boxing ring going against the large man (Stewart-san!), was Mamo. But suddenly, the television was showing him in his living room…and he was freaking out. There were heavy footsteps, Stewart-san was coming down the hallway into the room the real Mamo-chan was in. All of a sudden, there was a cage around Mamo’s living room and he couldn’t escape. Stewart-san was coming, ready to attack!! And so, at first Mamo absolutely sucked xD; He was freaking out and really acting his part, but then after he was pushed back into a corner, he became more decided and did a bunch of cool stunts and things! There was one point when he leapt up and used the fence as a foothold to attack. Before the match finished out, the scene changed and flashed to Mamo from each different scene with the words as he spoke them. “This.” “Is.” “Your.” “Day.” It was repeated and suddenly, the screens were showing us!!! Showing us the audience!!! “This is Your Day”

We were then given a mission! Mission one was to clap! And the second mission was to sing! The “wooahhh~ wooah~” that’s in SHOUT! And as the audience did that, the opening movie came back, Mamo-chan was still fighting Stewart-san!! And we kept clapping and singing and then…!!! Lights!! MAMO-CHAN WAS THERE! In the middle of movable fence pieces that resembled the fence in the opening video and from his SHOUT MV. He was standing there in the center with his hood up and the dancers were moving the fence pieces around! Mamo-chan started singing…and his voice was just as clear as day. But I strained to see his face as he still had a hood over his face…When he finally flung his hood behind, my scream was accompanied by several others. There he was, there he was~ I bounced up and down singing along. I was so excited singing the bits that the audience sings: “Woaaahhhh woaahhh ooohhhhh~” and “HEY!” To be part of the audience like the SHOUT MV had…I was freaking out X3

Burning Point was next!! And I turned to Kelly-chan and tried to tell her that it was one of Mamo-chan’s older songs! I don’t think I was loud enough though, lolol. One that came out like, 4 years ago or so? I was so excited to be hearing it Live! I was singing and bouncing along surprised to hear such an oldie song~

AAAHHHHHH OKAAAYYYY, SO SUGAR SUGAR WAS NEXT AND LOL. HE WENT AND WAS LIKE. OH BOY. IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I WAS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME. xDD On stage, a table was brought out with a vase of roses on top. “wahh! What pretty flowers!” Mamo exclaimed while he walked over to them and plucked one out…“who should I give them to~?” he asked while walking to the center of the arena and everyone’s penlights in the arena started waving~ On the first day, I didn’t move my penlight at all…I guess I was too…starstruck to move? ^^; Kelly-chan took my hand and started moving my penlight for me. xD While he was talking down, he brought the rose to his lips and kissed it….AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. At the part in the beginning where he sins “Just for me~” he threw the rose out to the audience!!!! I wonder who the lucky girls were to get a rose from Mamo~? X3 “Sono yubisaki ga boku ni fureru, kimi no doresu my fav color,” during the first half of this bridge section of the song…he started to remove his jacket from one side of his shoulder…which translates to “those fingers of yours that touch me” (that @tsukinokakera reminded me of ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;)… AND THEN WHEN HE SANG THE “YOUR DRESS IS MY FAV COLOR” HE SHOWED HIS SHOULDER REALLY UM WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT…IN A VERY UM SUGGESTIVE MANNER?!!!?!?!!!! TO THE AUDIENCE? ARE SHOULDERS SUPPOSED TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE???? SCREAMS. CRIES. RUNS AWAY. … …… CONTINUES TO RUN AWAY. Overall though, this song was so so so cute~ :3c ...withslightlyquestionablepartsum.

Ahh, gee, Tempest. The visuals at Yokohama were so amazing. While he sang this song, the background images was literally a storm and there was a wind blowing at the stage, his clothes fluttered and it was so moving!!

BLACK…OR WHITE…OH BOY. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS? IT WAS. IT WAS TOO MUCH. I was watching through my hands covering my face. I just couldn’t. Nope. I noped out guys, it was so biwfjlndaksm that I’ve blocked most of it from my memory. Mainly my fault for not writing this report 5 months ago xD But iuwbfeajknlsljkbfsdnl. ^^;;;

KissxKiss is how it always is and so cute~ I love that Mamo always includes this song because of how much engagement there is with Mamo and the audience. The whole arena was pink~ I really need to get a better penlight that doesn’t just have red, white and blue. Seeing everyone with pink in their penlights and doing the same “kimi ni kiss!” move that Mamo does is so much fun~

For the ballad corner! Mamo-chan started How Close You Are! I was so surprised to hear this! ^^ Since he had sung it at Generating!, I didn’t expect to hear this beautiful song during Mixing as well! The guitar intro…the background…the starry night, it was absolutely wondrous. I was so spellbound by this song. 

RINNE…ah…RINNE…this is my second favorite Mamo song. This is the song I was looking forward to listening and watching the most. T_T It was beautiful, beyond all my expectations. Mamo-chan’s voice is really so beyond me. His ballad songs are so beautifully divine…heehee, before he sang this song on the second day, he spoke with us a little bit. :3 “This song, do you all believe in this song?” “YES!!!” everyone responded! “There’s a chance, that we all knew each other in a different lifetime…,” I was freaking out because…omg…that’s what I always think about when I hear this song…and to hear it come from his mouth, I don’t think I was breathing. I felt like the whole audience was bubbling with a sort of anticipation. X3 “You were probably all reading stone tablets to get the latest Mamo news” xDDDD (t/n: I’m not sure if what he said was stone tablets, but it was some equivalent to it xD) It’s cute to think that perhaps, all us Mamo fans were following him in another lifetime too~? Or best friends or something~? :3 I like to think so! ^^

SANBIKA! I sang along the entire time~ This is, I think, the first Mamo song that I learned all the lyrics to! And the only song my brother sings along with me when it comes on my shuffle in my car, lol. Another Mamo oldie song~ I feel like this song really brings out the…pureness of Mamo’s voice. His voice just springs forth so effortlessly…so pure and beautiful. Guys, I’m so love, help me. On the second day, the song here was Beautiful Life~ I’d never heard Mamo sing this live…~ But I’d seen an audience sing Beautiful Life for Mamo during the Request Live he had a few years back~ ^^ It’s such a beautiful song as well~ ^^ I was so surprised though!! I was expecting Sanbika but it was Beautiful Life instead. I love all of Mamo-chan’s Ballad songs though~ :3

GOURBEFJWLANKDS. Okay so, xD For this next song, Mamo said that this was a new version of an old song. “It’s a song I want everyone to sing together, is that okay?” “HAAAAAI!” Everyone exclaimed! “Wow, you guys are amazing, Even though you don’t know what the song is, you all say that you’ll sing it” xDD And then he said~ “You all know how to sing all of Mamo’s songs, right?” AND I. LOL. GUESS WHAT I YELLED. REALLY LOUD. “HAI!!!” I DO! I KNOW HOW TO SING ALL OF MAMO’S SONGS!....AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOUTED THAT. NO ONE ELSE DID. And the person who was sitting to my left (NOT KELLY-CHAN BUT SHE LAUGHED TOO) LAUGHED AT ME AND I WAS SO EMBARASSED. ANNNyywaayYYYYYSSS!!!. xD It was J☆S! It was a ballad version this time! And the lyrics were up on the screen for us to sing to when he wanted us to sing along~ I like the original song, but the ballad song is nice too~ On the second day, when Mamo-chan was telling us he wanted us to sing with him this surprise song, everyone’s penlights were turning to yellow already and he noticed xD “Some people know already and are giving it away. But there are really some people who are freaking out about what song it is!!” xD (I don’t have yellow on my penlight…I really need to get a universal one!!)

I’ve forgotten...most of the talk during the Ballad Corner, ^^; only bits and pieces. But a couple things that I solidly remember and want to write here...The first day, I believe, the bass player, Damae said that for “taking Mamo-chan on a date” scenario, that he would take Mamo skiing!!! Something that he wants to do the most, cuz he’s never skied before! Annnd...on the second day I believe. Something memorable for all the members during the trip. Kihara-san talked about food xD He was the only one to talk about food and everyone else’s was super sentimental, like Sano-san, he said, I believe, that no matter where they went, the way Mamo communicates with his fans, and the way we all love each other, the admiration and warm atmosphere, no matter where Team Mamo goes, the warm feeling is the same. c:

UGWOBJKSDNLAKMS.AKJBDALNKRBAFJLSKNDDMZN. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY NOW. THE MOVIE. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. OH WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. KELLY-CHAN WAS LAUGHING EVEN HARDER THAN I WAS. It was just AWFUL X’DDDDD It was kind of based off of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them! How LOLOLOL, the dubbing was off from the mouth movements xDDDDD And it was ALL MAMO. xDDDD What do I even say? xD omg…basically…there was one Mamo…and then another Mamo…xDD Papa Mamo, MAMONSA, grandma Mamo, Policeman Mamo…xDDD It was too much, I’ll just. XD I’ll just leave this out of my report xDDD

Upside Down!!!!!!!! :3c On the first day of yokohama, Mamo would be like “upside doooooooooowwwww*NNGH*” during the recap of the dance lecture. xD On the second day, since it was mainly the same people as on the first, we all knew that he was going to keep going with “dowwwwwwwwwww” so we all held with him all the way to the “NNGH” which made him laugh xD he then said to us “because I’m up here singing and I can’t actually hold to the *NNGH* because of how the song is, everyone make sure to do it for me ‘kay?” AND SO WE ALL DID AFTER THE FIRST CHORUS AND HE MUST HAVE HEARD ALL OF US BECAUSE HE GIGGLED FOR A BIT WHILE SINGING AND ME AND THE GIRLS AROUND ME ALL STARTED LAUGHING TOO, LOLOLOL, IT WAS SO CUTE I’M CRYING X'DDD

Moon walking!!!!!!!!! MAMO-CHAN MOON WALK. MAMOWALK. MAMOMOONWALKING. MY MIND WAS ABSOLUTELY BLOWN. I was screaming during the ENTIRE REMIX. It was just???!!!! SO WELL DONE???!!!! JUST, THE FLAWLESS JUST, THE SONGS, JUST OMG. HOW IN THE WORLD? I was yelling to Kelly-chan, trying to tell her about all these old songs that were being all Mixed up!! (see what I did there~? X3;;;) BUT I JUST KEPT CUTTING MYSELF OFF BECAUSE SCREAMING XDDD DISCOTIQUE09 AND EGOISTIC AND B O D Y R O C K which then connected into moonlight~ Which was beautiful, so beautiful and all SO SEAMLESS. UGH. STY-SAN IS FRIGGIN ON ANOTHER LEVEL. and then…break it and finally New Order…ahh, there was a giant mash up of songs in a remix it was amazing AND GEE. THE OUTFIT CHANGE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THIS ABSOLUTE BRILLANCE? O. M. G. The amount of screaming here is definitely what got me sick. LOL.

AND THEN IT ALL TIED INTO IDENTITY. SEAMLESS. WAS MAMO-CHAN TIRED? HE DEFINITELY WAS. omg. He was standing there, the music started, the hands. My first thought was. omigosh. Nana-chan, I need to tell Nana-chan. @jennshaiel The rose petals… The music… Mamo’s voice, the dance. I never thought I’d be able to see Identity Live…it was breathtaking. It was always amazing seeing it through my computer screen. But…seeing the real thing…breathtaking. Absolutely took my breath away.

Crazy Wonder Night! I didn’t expect to be so hyped for this song. xD I was expecting Don’t Stop! to be the call and response song, but instead it was Crazy Wonder Night!!! Which was uh, SUPER QUESTIONABLE THE FIRST DAY. TO THE POINT WHERE MAMO WAS LIKE: “Wow, you guys really do whatever I tell you to, huh.” OOOOTTTTTLLLLLLL. I was yelling “BAKA” at Mamo after that….SUPER QUESTIONABLE EXPERIENCE. I WAS. SO UNCOMFORTABLE. LOL. UH. ANYWAYS, the second day was a lot…um, more, uh, PG FRIENDLY. SCREAMS. We had a call and response kind of thing with Yoko Ari’s mascot~ :3c It was super cute ^^

SHINE!!!!!! Mamo hoped on one of those things that go around the arena! When he got to us…omg…he was so close. I froze up again xDD Kelly-chan was freaking out for me I felt xD “He’s so close!” I could hear her say, but I couldn’t wave my penlight at all, I just stared at him. xD;;; Someonehelpme. This is such a happy uplifting song, it never fails to cheer me up~

***~ Here, during this break, Mamo talked a little bit…he was talking about how everyone has troubles and worries, that each and everyone of us are struggling through something. And during those times, in our everyday lives, he hopes that we’ll listen to his songs, and know that he’s right there with us. That his songs will bring us strength, that we’re not alone. He said, “everyone is having a great time right? Everyone is smiling! But I know, that underneath that smile, you are hurting, you’re in pain and have things you don’t know if you can overcome…in that time there are those who listen to my songs, and listening to them, I hope you feel like I’m by your side through my song, that you’re not by yourself” which then connects with The Birth. ~***

THE FRIGGIN BIRTH OMG. IT WAS SO COOL GUYS. THE BACKGROUND IMAGES. omg. I could really feel Ajin’s atmosphere. IBM was floating up and ugh, it was such a wonderful performance. The Birth, is such in amazing song. Really a song that only Mamo-chan can sing. STY-san and Mamo collab work is really beyond me.

Encore…MAMO! MAMO! MAMO! ^^; Every time, I’m with those few fangirls that start shouting his name the moment he leaves the stage. When else would I be able to shout Mamo’s name at the top of my lungs? When else am I able to be surrounded by so many Mamo fans? MAMO MAMO MAMO!! I always lose my voice. xDD

When Mamo came back to the stage, DON’T STOP! I was surprised to hear this song!! Since it wasn’t the call and response song, I was really surprised since I had been expecting Break it! because it’s a song that has so much meaning. DON’T STOP! is such a great song too~ Lol, most all of Mamo’s songs are great so ^^; and I am most likely biased. xD

OH MAN. GRAVITY. :DD I really really like this song! And the background imagery was so cute~ There was a pink and blue comet that were going around chasing each other through the sky…I think that…from what he said before this song, they connected so well with each other…because we’re all together, connected by gravity on this world. He’s here for us, but not only that, we as fans are all there for Mamo. This is such a sweet song, and I’m so thankful this is the song he ended with. This!!!! IS WHERE!!!! The streamer thingys came out!! AND!!!! KELLY-CHAN CAUGHT ONE!!! AND GAVE IT TO ME!!!!! We were both screaming and freaking out~ X3 And then ANOTHER ONE CAME TOWARDS US!!! So Kelly-chan was able to get one as well~ :3

On the second day of Yokohama! DOUBLE ENCORE. My throat was sore and I got sick probably because of screaming so much during the Live xD; MAMO! MAMO! MAMO!

He came back! This time everyone in Christmas headgear! Mamo was wearing a Reindeer Santa Hat~ So cuute~ He was showing it off and everyone was saying “Kawaaaiiiii~” :3c And slowly, since they came out all Christmas themed, everyone’s penlights were slowly changing to red and green! When I noticed the red and green around me, I changed my penlight from blue to red~ And suddenly, after a little bit of talking, Mamo realized!!!! He was like. “WOW. GUYS. WHEN DID YOU ALL CHANGE TO CHRISTMAS COLORS? HOW? THIS COULDN’T HAVE BEEN CORRIDINATED RIGHT?” He was really moved ^^ Everyone somehow, silently communicated to each other with colors, all of us combined as Mamo’s audience, we changed our lights to Christmas colors…how amazing…really, how moving and amazing ^^ Anyways, during this short talk section, he talked about things coming up, the new album!! That’s coming out soon, The Love! And…he also talked about how there was the second part of Crest of the Royal Family coming out, that has ended now! Something he said, omg. xD He started talking using his Izmir voice, a voice I hadn’t heard in a while and nearly fell over. ^^;;;; He said something along the lines of “I’ll be using that whip again” as he imitates using a whip…(There was a section…in Royal Fam where he uh, whips Carol..andumanyways) We all screamed. LOL “YABAI” I screamed lol. “do you wanna be punished?” he asked next “YES!!!!” WAS EVERYONE’S RESPONSE (INCLUDINGMINE) and he laughed at us xD “are you guys serious? X’D" he asked xD

Finally, he ended with Golden Night~ :3c A wonderful song, I think, to end the second and final night~ ^^ He went on the thingy that goes around the arena again~ :3

On the first day, Kelly-chan and I left and I was so out of it. xDD;;; Have pulled an all-nighter together, I was falling asleep on my feet xD I’m so thankful Kelly-chan was there with me. I wouldn’t have made it home without her, cuz I fell asleep on one of the train switches back ^^;;;;; She waited with me on a bench until I was feeling ready to walk again, and I so supper appreciate it~ On the second day, I’d gone by myself…AND LOST MY TOKIYA PARKA PASS TO RIDE THE FRIGGIN TRAIN. AND I RAN AROUND TRYING TO FIND IT. And Kelly-chan checked twitter and helped me find it!!! I’m so so so thankful to Kelly-chan for being there for me~ ^^ Thank you so much, Kelly-chan~ And when I’d made it back to Tokyo, we went to Shinjuku together to find out what color our smile is~ X3c

Thank you for coming with me~ And being my friend Kelly-chan~ I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon!! ^^

Sorry this is so long!!! OTL To those that have read this far, thank you very much for reading!! m(_ _)m