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onomatopagu-et-cie · 1 year ago

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The Killing Vote (ep. 7 notes)

The Killing Vote (ep. 1-5 notes) The Killing Vote (ep. 6 & overall notes) The Killing Vote: more on Joohyun, Kwon Seokju & Kim Muchan

I don’t know if you saw, but they announced episode 8 will be out next week on October 5th……….. After THIS preview no less, you’ve got to be kidding me aaaaaaaa (PД`q。 ) ·。 ' ゜

This got again really long, sorry again!!!!

Have a nice week!

(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 7!!!!)

Let Jihoon, Joomin, Joohyun, KMC & KSJ get their happy found family ending (இ﹏இ`｡) Put them in a slice of life, far far away from this noir genre plsssssss

I appreciated the fact that no explicit violence (except when BWT was beaten up by Min Jiyoung's family & KMC) was shown on screen ie. for Narae nor her dog ; the violence implied from all the scenes were more than enough already (eg. the video on KSJ ; the audio recording Narae’s voice)... ! And by the way, Park Sungwoong's acting in this episode!!!!!! I also loved how KMC’s character was shown trying to maintain a composure/restraint (his voice damn) in front of KSJ’s grief.

And the Jihoon & Joohyun scenes were GREAT!! Joohyun sounds like that sister you can naturally rely on!

(She needs to live, you hear me?!)

(Don’t read the new OST’s lyrics you are warned haha, it was beautifully played for Jihoon’s scene and the lyrics could also very well apply to KMC & KSJ in KMC’s pov!)

♦ September 15, 2015 (Lrae091515)

Narae disappeared on September 15, 2015… Just like how the video test is titled!

OH and something I missed!!! In the first post I mentioned the video test title, I wondered if it could refer to both Narae and Dies Irae (since Mozart’s Requiem was played in ep4):

As for the ‘Lrae’… It could be a wild WILD guess but ‘Lrae’ could be ‘irae’ as in Dies Irae/day of wrath (capital i looks like a lowercase L), which is a sequence in Requiem mass!

But the capital L could also stand for the korean letter ᄂ/니은 (nieun), which is the first letter for Narae/나래. Added to the ‘rae’, it gives ‘Narae091515’.

♦ The items in LMS’s room & his ring

Some of the items that were in the display case in LMS’s hidden room were revealed in this episode (from left to right):

KSJ’s suitcase

KSJ’s book he signed for LMS

KSJ’s mug, which is seen carried in the present by:

Jihoon (we only see him retrieve it from the deliveryman)

LMS (a whole collection)

This Gaetal in ep4 with this particular red mug when they rage as the public opinion is shaken because KMC was believed to be dead.

The picture with Narae seems to have been taken the day of the conference shown at the beginning of the episode. LMS probably stole the picture because it was a significant day to him ie. when he met KSJ in person.

Also, about the ring, LMS had it even in the flashbacks (picture to the right). Could it be some device to send him a reminder to take his medicine?

♦ More on shame

Something I wanted to add to what I said in a previous post (‘On the frames facing down (ep. 1 & 6), shame and guilt’): when KSJ visited his house in the present thanks to Joohyun, he only dusted off Narae’s picture to face her stuffed bunny.

Ep7 showed the other frame was a picture of KSJ and her, so it could show how he still strongly feels he failed her as her father:

♦ Narae, Joomin and Jihoon

FINALLY a bittersweet but hopeful? (I don’t care if it’s wishful thinking, let me hope okay ;;) parallel that’s clearly the opposite of ep4 & 6’s framing, the new OST (Aalia, Blue) was a perfect addition, it was soothing:

♦ The third person meeting with Narae and KSJ

(1) « She »

At the beginning of the episode, Narae met KSJ and said a ‘she’ couldn’t join them for dinner according to the subtitle translation when I watched.

(I’m unfortunately not able to watch on Prime, so I’m not sure if it’s fansubs or the Prime translation ; I wanted to use my free trial to watch the drama and other series, but it’s region-locked in my country and I don’t have a VPN ;;)

The gendered pronoun is an addition of the translation as the original exchange omitted any indication on the subject.

Most of the time [in Korean] the subject is implied, and you would rather address someone by their title or name (with an honorific if need be) depending on your relationship eg. Joohyun calls KMC 팀장님/team leader and KSJ 교수님/professor, Joomin calls her sister 언니/big sister. Note: but it can also be used by a female speaker for an older woman she’s close to eg. a friend, a girlfriend (like 형 = younger man -> older man ; 오빠 = younger woman -> older man or 누나 = younger man -> older woman).

This is how Narae and KSJ’s conversation went:

« — 왜 혼자 왔어? / Why did you come alone? — 또 먼저 갔지. 오늘도 할일이 엄청 또 많대. / [They] left early again. [They] said [they] had a lot of things to do today too. — ��이 같이 저녁을 먹을랬는데. (…) / I’d hoped the three of us could have dinner together. »

Nothing in this exchange hints at the identity of the person that accompanied Narae. KSJ only mentions the three of them (셋이), nothing else.

(Of course, translating this exchange could be really tricky because it’s about a context that only Narae and KSJ are privy of and we’re unfamiliar to, how to introduce a character we potentially know nothing of?)

But the conversation shows:

— That person usually accompanied Narae to see her father (and probably picked her up from school first & walked the dog together) ; that explains why the subject is omitted in the conversation because it’s implied from their daily life.

— They sounded like an adult habitually swamped with what looks like a usually time-consuming work (which excludes Jihoon)

— They seemed close enough to both Narae & KSJ (who jokingly says it’ll be a father-daughter date if they don’t come), dinner with them sounded customary.

— We know it couldn’t be about KSJ’s ‘late wife’ as Min Jiyoung comments ‘It must be hard for him to raise a girl by himself’ as they’re driving home from the conference.

— It has been highlighted twice already how hard, to society/KSJ’s surroundings, raising a girl by himself must be: first with Min Jiyoung’s housekeeper in ep5 (‘They felt sorry for me for raising my daughter alone, so they would share food with me sometimes.’), then Min Jiyoung herself in ep7. Whoever that was, this person also might've helped KSJ to raise Narae unbeknownst to everyone else.

So it was supposed to be someone close to the two of them.

(2) Kim Muchan?

In the same episode, when KMC said Choi Jinsu knew what kind of relationship he had with KSJ, CJS later described it as a ‘close relationship’ (가까은 사이), the same adjective KSJ uses to describe KMC in the present (see in a previous post the notes on 가깝다).

KMC is also the one shown in the very next scenes working hard to bust drug scenes (to the point of eating those painkillers like it’s popcorn). It’s also highly likely the other cases we saw on the news were also recklessly solved by him. (Also the ‘Lives Here.’ on the mirror is a fitting detail to his workaholic side!)

He's still the same in the present and brings work at home. Even though he gets around the law to arrest culprits, the reputation he has now can also attest to the fact he’s still relentlessly absorbed by his work.

This was indeed how Jodan described KMC to Joohyun:

« (…) aka. Wipeout. Pressuring criminals to admit more crimes. Making a case bigger to take more credit. He somehow makes cases into special ones. That’s how he made his way up to Seoul from the south. The master of promotions. (…) Based on his arrest rate, he should be at the top, but those up there must hate him. »

And KMC was close enough to KSJ and Narae to firmly believe Narae would never run away from home, like family would say ; KSJ was the only person he trusted and looked up to.

Not to mention KSJ was completely tensed as Choi Jinsu interrogated him but relaxed once KMC took over, letting out a sigh of relief and dropping his guard to cry.

EDIT: KMC also knew calling KSJ 'hyung' instead of 'Professor' would eventually make him react, as he was lifeless and caught in his thoughts so far.

(3) How long did KMC know KSJ?

KSJ began teaching at KNPU in 2008, which means KMC and him must’ve known each other for at least 7+ years (it’d be 15+ years in the present): ‘Have you forgotten? I said I’d be your number one fan. I said that at your first lecture at KNPU.’

Also KSJ is 44 years old btw, I missed that detail in ep4 when KMC checked his files!

♦ Relationships conveyed through pictures

It’s interesting how the drama keeps highlighting the importance of KSJ and KMC’s relationship, but there’s (yet) no picture to materialize this truth in people’s eyes, while the other significant relationships are framed in the drama:

-> Joohyun’s family portrait and a picture of Joohyun and Joomin in the present.

-> KMC picture with someone who might be his mother.

-> Many pictures of KSJ and Narae filled the house’s walls and the furniture and there was a picture of Narae and Jihoon with the handmade bunny toys hanging on their backpack.

And even though nobody might’ve heard of KSJ adopting Jihoon soon at the time (except KMC), he was present in Narae’s drawings by her and KSJ’s side. And he also drew the three of them together.

-> Min Jiyoung’s family portrait was ostentatiously exhibited in the past & is still used to build her image for her campaign. But there’s also a small portrait with only her and LMS at her apartment in the present.

KSJ and KMC’s relationship evades common portrayal. (Not to mention family portraits are often shown in dramas to foreshadow underlying dynamics between its members!)

The only picture we were shown of them was on the day KSJ was sent to prison:

♦ KSJ’s health and military service

On KSJ’s resume (first picture), you can see he was exempted of military duty.

Indeed, what’s written on the left column under his military status is 미필 (incompletion, if he had been discharged after completing his military duty, it would be written 군필), and the rank and service term columns are empty.

I can’t quite make out everything that’s under the last column for the reason of incompletion, but I read 기형 (deformity), 친환 (one’s parent illness) and 변재 (accident) … ?

However what we learned when KMC checked his medical files in ep4 (third picture) was that he’s got asthma (천식) and primary spontaneous pneumothorax (일차성 자연기흉) ie. occurring without an apparent cause when there’s originally no known lung disease while there’s a preexisting lung disease when it’s secondary.

« Until now the cause of primary spontaneous pneumothorax (PSP) has not been identified, however; several risk factors have been identified such as; smoking, male sex, and a family history of pneumothorax ».

So he was probably exempted due to his long-time health issue (asthma, lung collapse), and maybe KSJ’s family had a history of pneumothorax.

♦ Who is Gaetal?

Is LMS really Gaetal? Are Fan no. 1 & Gaetal different people?

As I said in a previous post, the drama plays with the bias that everything must’ve been done by the same individual/a same group with the same intentions, so it’s possible:

Gaetal in the video test

Gaetal in the prerecorded votes, at least the first one (because the tone, gesture and expressions seemed different compared to the two next votes)

Gaetal broadcasted live (for Cpt. Oh’s vote)

Fan no. 1 who wrote the letters to KSJ

Fan no. 1 JJW said he was working with who described KSJ as the one they admired the most but also said they destroyed the person he loved the most, so he must hate them

Are different people in some cases, meaning:

— The ‘Fan no. 1’ Jung Jinwook worked with might not be LMS, since they never met each other

— It could be Jihoon, or at the very least, he’s an accomplice (there’s this exchange with Joohyun about the shift from an accessory to an accomplice, it could be foreshadowing). He’s well-versed in hacking, he most likely ��admired’ KSJ and feels guilty over Narae’s death (and probably over BWT’s murder by KSJ), as KSJ said to KMC:

« — [Narae and Jihoon] were supposed to meet that day. — Yes, he thinks all of this happened because he was late. He’s still in shock. »

(He could’ve been the one to have faced Narae’s picture down!)

We don’t know his whereabouts for these 8 years but he must’ve been in contact with KSJ at least once since what happened and given KSJ’s reaction when KMC asked him if he contacted him.

Also Jihoon was definitely searching for KSJ before Joohyun interrupted him when he was at the Police Agency at the end of the episode.

He looked like he definitely knew the content of the ‘video test’ too (or recognized the room), he seemed dumbfounded to learn Joomin found it in ep3:

Determined to help, a part of him could’ve held KMC guilty of the chain of events 8 years ago. KSJ entrusted his handmade bunny toy to KMC and said:

« He said he made them himself, so there are only two of them. Whoever has Narae’s is the murderer, so he told me to use this to catch him. He left this with me. I’m counting on you. »

And KSJ must have some part in whatever is happening now with the Killing Vote: after all, we never got the reason KSJ went out of prison in ep4 (‘If they find out what I did instead of performing labor, they might believe the suspicions are true.’).

-> This scene in ep3 (the first set of pictures on the left): of course this shows his relief because he still cares for KMC but it seemed like he somehow already knew for a fact KMC was out of danger, even before the janitor said he was barely hanging on and not off the hook at all.

— This was even before the video of KMC was revealed to the public in the next episode ;

— The present Gaetal might have informed him in advance a police officer got involved in the bombing against their will, without revealing it was KMC. This would explain why KSJ seemed genuinely surprised when the janitor said it was KMC (the last two pictures of the set) ;

— Someone else could have informed him even if it seems difficult from the prison (but we know he got lots of privileges there and we still don’t know what he did for the warden ; the visit register could have been fabricated and someone indeed met him) ;

— It’s worth pointing out KSJ was convinced KMC was Gaetal up until ep6, which adds another layer to this scene.

-> His reaction in ep5 was also curious (the second set of pictures on the right), he only got perplexed for the video test, as though he was well-acquainted with the rest of whatever was going on except for that one detail (which adds to the theory that Gaetal in the video test ≠ Gaetal in the Killing Vote/Fan no. 1).

Curiously, as I said just above, while KSJ seemed unaware of the video test's existence, Jihoon looked familiar with its content on the contrary.

KSJ never outright denied he was Gaetal eg. his interview with Joohyun in ep2:

« — ‘Devils who were deemed innocent.’ The phrase that the killer used… You were the first one to say it, weren’t you? I think the killer has something to do with you. — The two people who used the same phrase must be connected. That’s such a naive approach. »

Ep6 only showed KSJ hoped KMC was Gaetal.

And you wouldn’t say KMC’s ‘I’m a cop.’ is a real answer too. Hate to admit it, but KMC stayed silent when KSJ wanted to confirm he was sincere: his feelings might be genuine, but denying he’s Gaetal could very well be a lie.

As for KMC’s front ie. keeping silent when asked about his relationship with KSJ, I guess it comes from his determination to solve all this by his own hands this time: he knows they would take him off the case otherwise. (And for some reason, I can’t help but also suspect Joohyun aaaaa we still don’t know anything about her past!!)

KMC or KSJ, one of the two might be related somehow ; if so, I guess they’d be trying to plan something without the other knowing in order not to involve them and also because the other would disapprove (eg. KSJ to put an end to KMC’s guilt ; KMC to offer some peace to KSJ after all the tragedy and his past mistakes).

— Plus, the Gaetal of the first vote sounded suspiciously like KSJ (his silhouette and gait too) eg. t h a t tremulous voice when he gets angry (the actor plays a lot with that in his roles overall).

— The first vote was prepared from a redevelopment area and BGC was murdered there (pictures on the right).

In ep7, in addition to the video accusing KSJ of being dubious and the witness statement, Narae being found in a redevelopment area was what made the police suspect KSJ of murdering her, since he was known for standing up against said building’s demolition:

« You’d been to the place where the body was found, right? Don’t even think about lying. We know you protested against demolishing that building. »

(Even before Joohyun showed him the Gaetal video test, KMC must’ve had his suspicions from BGC’s murder scene and the broadcast after the body was found eg. recognizing KSJ’s tone, 'the devils deemed innocent' or the ‘rational justice’!)

Narae might’ve been found in the lower part of the building BGC’s vote was prepared in: even though the first story doors were repainted in red and handrails were added to the bridge, the overall architecture and the sort of electricity meter/letter box on the ground floor look the same.

And even without it being the same building, it holds enough resemblance for it to seem like a disturbing recall of the events 8 years ago, combined with Gaetal’s keywords.

— LMS could’ve killed BGC’s wife as Gaetal's copycat at first but that still wouldn’t explain his involvement to the Killing Vote, saying he would give it to his mother as a present.

(But his conversation with KMC when he interviewed him in the present really gave me the impression he knew something about KMC we were not shown, and that could foreshadow what'll happen in the next episode!)

— About LMS’s true perception of justice: we never got to hear his opinion, Narae came running to her father and KSJ interrupted the conversation. So far, the drama didn’t show if his ideals align with Gaetal’s for example, but some elements in the flashbacks clearly show it could be the case.

In fact, his notes about ‘proper justice’ could align with Gaetal’s concept of vigilantism to make up for a failing official retributive justice.

And his ‘If you pass judgment without looking at things clearly, it’s not being fair. It’s being indifferent.’ clearly parallels KSJ’s opinion in the present (ep6):

« Lady Justice wears a blindfold because she’s afraid of bias in decisions. That always bothered me. If you don’t look at cases and the people involved clearly, how can one pass fair judgment? Can judgments without experience be right? Only after losing my daughter did I realize I was qualified to judge others. »

KSJ’s past self would’ve been moderate and warned him however: ‘Relying solely on your experiences can also lead to bias. Experiences are gained through situations and conflicts. They can’t be absolute truths.’

But this detail is something KMC doesn’t know, he instead focuses on LMS’s elitism because he didn’t have those kinds of exchanges with him.

♦ ‘No. 1 Fan’ & LMS

So…………………… You mean to tell me « No. 1 Fan » was originally a memory both KSJ and KMC held dear? That LMS chose this very nickname as a penname for the 5 whole years he sent letters to KSJ? That LMS described KSJ to JJW as the man he admired the most, just like KMC said in that exchange.......... ?

There’s literally no way in hell LMS didn’t listen KMC and KSJ’s conversation ; « no. 1 Fan » could be common in any other cases but not in this one: LMS made everyone around KSJ gone from the picture, it wouldn’t surprise me KMC was/is meant to be the next (LMS even describes him as a ‘cockroach’ hard to kill in ep5).

As to how he got to learn all that, bugging one of the two’s communications/belongings/Narae’s room (eg. that ‘My Daddy My Hero’ seems to be the only thing taken from the house, or the device Jodan found in the ceiling, as it’s totally covered with dust) or even hiding in KSJ’s house that day and listening to their exchange wouldn’t be that surprising given what he did and how he seems to enjoy playing recklessly.

What Jodan found looks like the kind of device that transmits frequencies to another device (eg. cell phone, a recorder prepared to this end).

In this episode, we saw LMS watched everything among the crowd each time (when Narae’s body was found, when KSJ was sent to prison), there could very well be times he watched unnoticed from KMC or KSJ.

I guess he learned about the ‘rational justice’ the same way: he could’ve heard the ‘devils deemed innocent’ from his mother or some other way (eg. if he hacked the court’s archives, he could’ve found the trial transcripts), but ‘rational justice’ was something only KSJ and KMC knew about (at least, at this point of the drama).

Given his obsession for KSJ, LMS could benefit from deliberately using a precious memory that KSJ could only attribute to KMC and posing as KMC: that would finally make him assume a special position in KSJ’s eyes (and it worked: that’s probably why KSJ firmly believed Gaetal and/or the one who wrote him letters was KMC).

And he probably deludes himself into believing it was originally his by right, not Narae’s, not KMC’s nor anyone else’s (I don’t think he knew Jihoon even if he observed the house): he considers himself KSJ’s only entitled Fan no. 1.

At the same time, becoming Gaetal, a figure that would finally bring the justice to KSJ which KMC failed to do, gives him the opportunity to finally ‘judge’/destroy KMC as he wished. Eg. making him the next Killing Vote target by showing people he was deceiving them (his ‘Wipeout’ reputation) ; or distorting facts about his involvement in Narae’s case (just like the video Min Jiyoung/LMS made on KSJ to divert the attention off her son).

And this seems to be the case in the preview:

The screen on the left side of the shot displays an edit of KMC (which looks like those Gaetal did for the previous targets ; the picture seems to come from when the journalists gathered at the prison when they learned he was alive), and if I’m not mistaken you can read on the banner « 속였습니다 » (‘I/He deceived/lied to [the people maybe?]’), which might be a reference to what he said in ep4 where he also used 속였습니다.

♦ « This house had good natural lighting »

Losing Narae left KSJ lifeless. In this episode’s flashback, his profile, livid, is blinded by white light, like a ghost.

Even though he stood in Narae’s room, he was perhaps longing for the house that was already not there anymore and that initially had ‘good natural lighting’, as Joohyun said in ep4. It symbolized all the happiness he shared with Narae.

And KMC could only witness, helpless, KSJ’s grief.

In retrospect, on the second set of pictures to the right, the sight of KSJ’s silhouette in a similar setting and lighting (when KSJ was transferred to the Police Agency, ep5) might’ve reminded KMC of this memory.

The drama highlighted this theme in other previous scenes too. They have in common a silhouette shot in an overall dark setting facing a strong backlighting.

[And you can notice the shots get gradually brighter as the drama progresses and KSJ gets out of prison!]

Joohyun's scene on the top right was so beautifully shot... !

-> When KSJ is transferred to the Police Agency ;

-> When Joohyun interviews KSJ and makes him listen to Mozart’s Requiem in ep4. And also KMC’s reaction we could better understand in retrospect as he listened (the pictures on the bottom right) ;

-> When KSJ enjoyed the light from the prison in ep4 ;

-> When he looked outside from his cell’s window while meditating in the first episode ;

-> When KMC wanted to visit KSJ but he refused to meet him in ep2 (and we can once again better interpret his expressions in retrospect to ep7).

Note: in ep3, KMC’s reaction to the tagged wall (‘the 13th was wrong’) and the news articles about the case from 8 years ago could also now be interpreted as pained in retrospect ; his surprise upon discovering this also shows it’s at least not him who messed the room that way. If he cared for Narae as this episode showed, he probably wouldn’t have damaged her room. It's also maybe relevant to note again that the video test didn't have the tagged wall!

♦ Min Jiyoung’s classism

Whatever Min Jiyoung found on KMC was something she did not approve according to her standards: she went from ‘that detective’ when she first met him to ‘bastard like you/the likes of you’ at the end of the trial.

I get BIG classist undertones when she speaks to him, and it's not the sole occurrence:

-> When she fired her previous aide because he advised her in a way she deemed unsatisfactory, she commented: ‘촌스러운 새끼’ which was translated to ‘What a loser.’ The adjective she used is 촌스럽다 (unpolished, countrified, dowdy ie. « one’s attitude or taste being unsophisticated and looking like that of a country person »).

The Naver Dictionary also gives the expression ‘촌스러운 사람’ and translates it as ‘a lout, rustic, clodhopper, boor’.

새끼 means offspring (cub or child/kid), but it’s often used as an insult to mean someone’s a jerk/bastard/etc. which is the case here (eg. 개새끼, SOB/bastard).

-> The housekeeper: KSJ described her as ‘도우미’ (assistant, helper) and was getting along well with her and her husband (‘They felt sorry for me for raising my daughter alone, so they would share food with me sometimes. (…) Though we didn’t know each other very well, we were quite close.’).

And Min Jiyoung, who lives with her and her family, calls her…… an expense (‘비용’) if I’m hearing well (at the very least, it doesn’t sound like any of the words commonly used for housekeepers eg. 가정부, 도우미, 파출부, 하녀…), and it could explain why KMC made her repeat.

-> She used 너 같은 새끼 to insult KMC (‘bastards like you/the likes of you’), right after calling LMS his son (아들), which could imply the latter qualifies more as a person than him. She even deems him a taint/테인트 threatening to spoil their status/reputation.

-> She said to LMS in ep5: ‘[KMC] must be trying to make ends meet. You better stay away from those vermins.’

And be it a coincidence or not, Jihoon’s grandmother was also judgmental towards Joohyun and her sister (ep4, first set of pictures).

Her reaction to KSJ’s idea (she was taken aback and raised her eyebrow then looked embarrassed as she tried to answer) could also be explained by some distance she wants to put between her and disreputable people (ep6, second set of pictures).

Gaetal targeted the rich so far (‘The law that is more harsh on victims than on criminals… It feeds like a parasite off of money and power, so the ones who deserve to die are still alive.’), like some sort of Robin Hood as KMC commented.

♦ « Hyung »

(breaking my silence once again…) KMC and KSJ were lovers/KMC was in love and they were in their domestic life bubble (and ngl that ‘… [and the one] I look up to.’ delivery with that hesitant interruption felt like a left out confession)

The scene in Narae’s room was paralleled in the present at the end of the episode:

You can notice with this comparison that most (if not all) of KSJ & KMC’s scenes in the present are submerged by blue tones in the prison cell and at the Police Agency, just like in the lyrics of the new OST with the wordplay on the color blue and feeling blue! eg. 눈을 감아보면 I see blue — 그런 너의 모습에 feel so blue (When I close my eyes I see blue — At the sight of you feel so blue) 네게 가려진 난 I see blue — 몰랐던 너의 모습에 feel so blue (I’m covered/obscured by you I see blue — This side of you I didn’t know feel so blue)

♦ Gaetal, masks and dogs

Gaetal could be translated as ‘dog mask’ (개, dog + 탈, mask).

GAETAL AND MASKS

Gaetal’s excentric and playful, Robin Hood-esque character and their theatrics could be a reference to the traditional Korean masks.

« [Korean masks] were used in war, on both soldiers and their horses ; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to drive away evil spirits/illness/bad luck out of an individual or a village (often horrifying or grotesque to invoke fear and humor), to remember the faces of great historical figures, and in the arts, particularly in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical plays. The present uses are as miniature masks for souvenirs, or on phones hung as good-luck talismans. There are two ways to categorize masks: religious masks and artistic masks. »

Indeed, KSJ had a glass display of Korean masks in his house (it’s a limited Seoul 1988 Olympic Games Korean Masks Collection):

Masks are in fact known to be used in talchum/talnori (mask dance/play), an art developed after a cultural shift in society: masks were initially used in religious activities, but entertainment and festivities factored in through time.

« An ensemble of musicians accompanies masked performers who humorously explore social issues through dramatic combinations of cheerful, energetic and rhythmical songs, dances, movements and dialogue. »

They mostly originated from the pre-modern society of the Joseon dynasty. The country was governed by a rigid social hierarchy (eg. the aristocracy and the buddhist monastic hierarchy) and a strict patriarchal system. They sharply criticized contemporary society with satire and witty humour, depicting the falsehoods and hypocrisies of the upper classes (eg. decadent noblemen, apostate/depraved monks, patriarchal husbands) but also mocked stereotypical versions of annoying personalities within the lower classes (eg. the drunkard, the gossip, the flirt of the complaining grandmother). It offered people both catharsis and important life lessons, and masks are a key means to do that.

On the nobleman mask (Master Kim Dongpyo, maker of Hahoetal): « yangban noblemen prioritize dignity and saving face above all else. The gentle curves of a Hahoe yangban mask embody this character. » In other local traditions, noblemens’ masks may express greedy and pretentious personalities.

Talchum offered an opportunity to commoners to unleash their pent-up emotions, their suppressed anger and for the governing class to hear the people’s complaints, ultimately promoting greater unity within society. Their will for resistance is voiced.

Gaetal's apparent intentions correspond to all this to a great extent.

« Once a person dons a mask – men and women, young and old, nobility and commoners – all are freed from social conventions and restrictions. The appearance of the Korea mask itself is also liberated by convention. Nevertheless, everyone manages to find a part of the mask with which they can identify. In this way the mask is truly the face of the heart's hidden desires. (…) Korean masks are grotesque and vividly colored. Masks are painted in vivid primary colors, representing both the individual personality and social class of the character as well as his or her age and gender eg. black & dark for an elderly character ; red & bright for a young character ; white for a young female character. In terms of personality, a red, darkly-colored mask represents recklessness and aggressiveness; a yellow or lightly-colored mask characterizes foolishness and incompetence ; and a black or darkly-colored mask exemplifies an anxious, socially marginalized character. To symbolize a character's duplicity, masks are sometimes painted half red and half white. »

[For posterity, in the drama, Gaetal’s mask is fully white ; we also don’t know Gaetal’s gender, Joohyun evokes this possibility, it could very well be herself, Min Jiyoung or her assistant, even Jihoon’s grandmother ; Min Jiyoung’s attention to her clothes also reflects the good/evil duality with her outfit at BWT’s final trial.]

Professor Heo Yongho, Korea National University of Arts: « Korean mask-dance dramas deal with such universal themes as freedom and equality. However, they present these common subjects in a distinctively dynamic and exciting way. »

All these emotions, ambitions and desires can therefore be put on display without fear or shame. The characters mock and satirize the duplicity and foolishness of the ruling class and pray for a new world and a better future, like Gaetal does in the Killing Vote.

This page even theorizes 탈 derived from the Chinese character for ‘to rid/free oneself from something’.

« Korea adopted Chinese characters prior to the invention of their own, unique alphabet under King Sejong (1397-1450), and still use Chinese characters extensively. Thereby, the original meaning of the talnori or talchum, is a play or dance that helps shed ones stress and grief. Originally talnori was performed at night, often in a clearing around a fire and the exaggerated colors and expressions on some of the masks reflect a time when such vibrant colors and expressions were necessary to make them visible in the poor light. » [This bit could be relevant later on in this point when I’ll talk about the moon and the fire symbolism!]

The interaction with the audience is important, it completes the performance. As the UNESCO page describes: « talchum performances do not require a formal stage: any empty space can become a venue. The audience plays an essential role, contributing to the production with their cheers and jeers as the drama unfolds. »

Talchum players improvise their lines and actions in response to the spectators, quickly forming a bond together.

In a distorted fashion, the Killing Vote seems to strongly rely on the country’s participation to vote for the ‘judgement’ of the culprit, introduced as corrupt and deeply irredeemable people (even though we know the reality is more ambiguous: two broadcasts were pre-recorded and pretty compelling cases were deliberately chose to obtain an unanimous vote, not to mention Gaetal’s true intention eg. if they’re LMS).

The country even becomes an entertained audience in addition to their participation: each vote brings its fair share of debates, cries of support, admiration, disgust, anticipation or emulation. The Killing Vote becomes an outlet to everyone's fears, anger, frustration.

Gaetal's judgment of 'devils that were deemed innocent' by a failing legitimate system which would even condone their deed inflames passions: revealing the culprit's corrupt side in a sarcastic, unfiltered fashion the conventional society would (or could) never dare to do makes people look up to Gaetal.

It also makes people relate to Gaetal because the votes serve as an example that they wish was applied to their own tragedies eg. Joohyun, KSJ, Joomin & Jihoon. Exemplifying the 'judgment' of their cases could be seen as a prophylactic step to 'exorcise' the deep-rooted evil and appease the tormented souls of their victims.

And Gaetal engages with the people with a witty and sarcastic speech, and sounds deeply concerned with people’s opinion (again, it could be false pretenses) eg. when they cautioned sensitive souls to close the video as its content might be too violent ; when they got angry as they read forums after KMC was thought dead ; when they broadcasted the video revealing KMC was alive.

The Killing Vote also seems to touch on people’s duplicity, hidden desires and ambitions in society eg. especially KSJ, KMC, Min Jiyoung, LMS and people’s ambivalence in the face of good and evil (everybody has in them the risk of becoming a ‘Gaetal’ or one of their targets if faced with certain opportunities and circumstances) as I talked about it in a previous post (’The Killing Vote and a vigilantism built on a twisted basis’).

The hahoetal (Hahoe [Village] masks) are one of the most known Korean masks, designated as national treasures.

They were used during a kind of mask dance called 하회별신굿탈놀이, dance drama of Hahoe Village: it’s a shamanic dance drama passed down from the mid-12th century & performed to appease the local deity, pray for the village’s peace and wellbeing as well as a good harvest. It is said to be one of the oldest mask dances known in Korea.

It's a play in satire and humor directed at the ruling class from the religious perspective of praying fortune. The masks represent 12 stock characters needed to perform the roles in the ritual dance dramas included in the ceremony (eg. the monk, the scholar, the bride, the aristocrat …).

Their origin is not clearly known, but a legend about their original design exists.

« In the middle of the Goryeo Dynasty, there lived a craftsman, Heo. For years his village suffered from misfortunes but no one knew why. One day, he dreamt about a mountain god, receiving an oracle message that the misfortunes would disappear if the villagers danced with masks made by Heo. The god said he was not to have any contact with anyone until he finished. Heo then had a straw rope wound around his workshop to allow him to work undisturbed and immediately set to work. One hundred days had passed. A young woman named Kim was in love with Heo and was growing weary of waiting. She broke her vow to leave him undisturbed for one hundred days and peeked into her lover’s workshop to see what he was doing. He was carving the last mask, the scholar's foolish servant, Imae. The moment she glanced inside, Heo collapsed spitting blood and died. The mask was left unfinished, without a chin. Out of guilt for causing his death, the young woman committed suicide. Afterward, the residents of Hahoe village decided to serve the dead woman as a tutelary god and held annual rituals to assuage her soul. »

An annual winter memorial rite is held at dawn of the first full moon of each new year to console their unrealized love, appease their tormented souls and honor them. They would also pray for the well-being of the village and for its protection against evil spirits.

This also seems relevant:

The word 탈 also includes a second meaning of misfortune, illness and difficulty. Eg. when someone becomes sick or runs into trouble, you can use the verb 탈나다 (an accident happens/have a hitch/run into trouble/fall ill/get out of order or go wrong) or the word 탈 which is a homonym of the mask.

« The word for masks represents something that people hope is only a passing event. Interestingly, people were reluctant to hold onto the word 탈 in its meaning of a mask. In the past, they believed that if they kept a mask nearby, they would be in trouble due to the bad luck attached to the mask. Therefore, they stored the masks in a village shrine or burned them immediately after the ritual for which they were created. People regarded masks as religious objects, something that should be feared, worshipped and enshrined. »

But masks were also considered by ancient Koreans as a sacred symbol of the gods (or a particular god): as such, it was especially valued and worshipped, and always kept a certain distance away from living quarters.

In the drama, the mere existence of Gaetal calls for trouble and the police force endeavors to catch them. Gaetal nicknames themselves 'the citizens' watchdog' who will protect them from evil, and is compared to many heroic figures (eg. Robin Hood, Batman, …) but also to God. For example, Jihoon says to Joomin:

« That devil was set free by our incompetent legal system. If he wouldn’t be punished by the law or by God, I thought he should at least be punished by the people. »

The sight of their figure 'should' be feared by the culprits but only Uhm Eungyeong was really scared ; BGC and Cpt. Oh challenged and dared them to actually murder them. But in the end, the latter begged JJW for his life and promised him money, the thing he cared the most for.

This also ties well with the overall Christian symbolism exhibited in LMS’s room or Saint Michael (see the next point!).

GAETAL AND DOGS

As for the dog part, since one of the main plot points is a commentary on justice and the good & evil in people, it might be a reference to the haetae/haechi (해태/해치), a Korean mythological creature often associated for example to the Chinese guardian lions (also called shishi, lion or fu dogs) or the Japanese shishi/komainu.

Symbol of justice and law, the haetae is a hybrid beast: a mix of a lion, dog and dragon covered in scales or fur, wearing a bell and baring its canines, sometimes winged, sometimes with a reptile tail. It possesses the ability to divine and distinguish the true character in people, right from wrong, truth from lies in people.

The horn on its forehead was used to ram into the guilty in an argument.

It is said to feed off fire ; under Joseon, its statues were placed at the entrance of official places like palaces to protect the capital Hanyang (now Seoul, eg. at the National Assembly and the Supreme Prosecutors’ Office) from natural disasters and fires.

« Haetae statues lie on high pedestals at each side of Gwanghwamun, the main gate of Gyeongbokgung Palace (…) [they] represent the Joseon rulers’ political and philosophical ideals of protecting the nation’s dignity by applying the laws strictly and justly and providing peace and stability to all the people without allowing bias or personal feelings to influence decisions. »

This article explains how the Chinese characters for law (법, 法) derived from the ideogram for haechi.

What I gathered from this page is that law was initially written as 灋. Looking at its structure:

— The radical to the left, 氵, is associated to water (水): which means that the law must be as fair as water — The character 去 is placed under the character ‘chi’ 廌, which depicts the haechi. Making a creature said to judge right from wrong a part of the law character brings out its meaning even more.

The character was later simplified by removing the 廌, thus written 法.

[And as I said in a previous post, the hanja 橅, which means law, can be used for the Mu of Muchan!]

The haechi was also closely associated to the Chinese judicial system eg. on decorations and paintings, embroidered on the robes, crowns with a horn. The judicial officers were also named after the haechi.

It has become Seoul’s symbol since 2008.

The haetae is also mainly assimilated to the Chinese xiezhi, a mythical single-horned creature (a sheep, goat or ox) commanded during imperial criminal proceedings to ram into the guilty in the same manner.

Since Gaetal chases after evil, it could also be a reference to a breed of dogs native to the Korean Peninsula, the Sapsali/Sapsalgae.

Their name literally translates to ‘one that roots out evil spirits’ or ‘drives out devils’. Due to their appearance, they’re often associated to the haetae and sometimes called ‘Lion Dogs’.

Lion dances are indeed performed because it was thought lions contained the power to expel evil spirits and bring good luck.

Sapsali are also nicknamed ‘Ghost Hunters’ or’ Sunshine Dogs’.

Some aspects of the drama also involve dogs:

-> Gaetal used a mail address titled ‘watchdog’ that the journalist wanted to use as a catchphrase for her broadcast ;

-> KMC called KSJ their ‘hunting dog’, urging Joohyun to ‘get him off the leash’ ;

-> Narae’s dog LMS killed and all the past dogs of his family ;

-> The scene at the beginning of ep7 shows BWT beaten by Min Jiyoung’s family as his parents watch powerless. The next shot shows the Dalmatian puppy sitting quietly by his neat doghouse as the violent scene continues to unfold before it off-screen. The absence of pictures of BWT’s family in the house unlike the Dalmatian puppy could be interpreted as a further highlight of the family being poorly treated by Min Jiyoung’s family, even worse than a dog. It also aligns with the classist behavior of Min Jiyoung & co.

-> Indeed, 개 is often used as a prefix to an insult (or to emphasize words in slang, but it’s not used in the drama so far eg. 개싫어, ‘[I] freaking/really hate [it]’).

For posterity also, the word ‘mask’ (탈) is also the homonym/paronym of 달 (moon/month) and 딸 (daughter, perhaps a reference to Narae, since the video test seems to be titled after the day she was missing?).

For the 달 (moon/month), the most relevant connection to the Killing Vote is that they’re held every 15th (new moon) and 30th (full moon) of each month. It also ties up with how the talnori/talchum were originally performed at night.

If there’s also some symbolism with the moon, combined to the fire and dogs, the mythical dogs Bulgae (불개, lit. fire dog) might come to mind:

« According to a myth, one of heaven's realms, the kingdom of darkness, was called Gamangnara, the Dark World. Its king was concerned and weary with the perpetual darkness and desired the light of the sun and moon for his kingdom. He sent one of the gigantic fiery hounds, the Bulgae to chase the sun to bring it to his realm. However, when it tried to bite the sun, the sun was too hot, which made the dog unable to hold on to it, resulting in him giving up, and running back to the king, angry at the failure. He sent another more ruthless dog to steal the moon. When the Bulgae tried to carry it in its mouth, the moon was so cold, that the mouth of the dog was icy and frozen, and caused the Bulgae to drop it. The Bulgae tried many times to grab the moon in its mouth, but eventually gave up and ran back to the king in disappointment. The king never gave up this mission though. He continued to send fire dogs that were fiercer than the others, but none were able to collect the sun and moon. According to the Korean eclipse belief, during a solar eclipse or lunar eclipse, the dark sections are the parts where the dogs are biting. When the eclipses are over, the dogs have given up and run away back to its kingdom. »

Noting it down if it’ll hold meaning in the next episodes, we’ve got two scenes shot in the moonlight:

In the first episode when KSJ looks out from his cell’s window and moonlight enters the room ;

Right after KSJ got his health checked by Jihoon’s grandmother in ep6 and Joohyun gets in LMS’s car!

♦ Saint Michael and Kim Muchan

Following the previous point, in the nightclub KMC was investigating, a big statue right behind where he sat sometimes showed up.

It looks like a reproduction of the St. Michael bronze statue by Peter Anton von Verschaffelt on top of the Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome (the set of pictures in the middle).

There are other examples of similar iconography (the two pictures on the right):

— St. Michael defeats Satan by Guido Remi — Fontaine Saint-Michel in Paris (Bvd. Saint-Michel) by Gabriel Davioud, the sculpture, Archangel Michael and the devil, was designed by Francisque-Joseph Duret

I’ll quote this interesting page from EHNE, an online encyclopedia project developed in 2012 by the Sorbonne University.

« Saint Michael was a unique saint. As an archangel, he acted as the preferred messenger between Heaven and Earth. His struggle against the forces of Evil allowed him to serve as both a guardian and a warrior angel. » He’s also depicted as a champion/guardian of justice and a healer of the sick.

'Who is like God?' mmmmh

[What I didn’t know is that he was also considered the patron saint of the police, justice, military and many other trades and places, which is why he’s represented on the Saint Michael pendant!]

« As a victorious angel, defender, overcomer of evil and leader of heavenly armies, Michael the Archangel is often depicted in medieval art as an armored soldier [eg. pteruges, Byzantine armor or a fully feathered body or a mix of both] carrying such arms as a cross-inscribed shield, cross-staff, or the sword or spear he typically employs to fight the dragon during the Apocalypse. Outside of the apocalyptic combat scene, Michael also may be shown trampling and piercing the dragon as part of his overall iconography. (…) He's also featured in other important episodes, such as the biblical narrative of the Fall of Angels and the Last Judgment [Day of Wrath/Dies Irae, where the just will be welcomed to eternal bliss, separated from the wicked, cast into ‘eternal fire’.]. In Last Judgment scenes, Michael the Archangel is often shown holding the scales of justice laden with good and bad souls. »

This thesis (p. 287 ss.) on Saint Michael’s italian iconography by Clémentine Denèle was also interesting:

[It could align with KMC’s restraint in front of KSJ most of the time, his mainly unreliable narration and expressions you could only interpret in retrospect. The same could be said of KSJ, but it’s less apparent to me: it was strong in the beginning of the drama but by now, KSJ feels less ‘cryptic’ than KMC who’s been hazy the whole time.]

Most of the time, Saint Michael's representations depict him with a neutral expression, totally disconnected to the threat and tension of his whole body engaged in his battle against evil that belie no hesitation: no emotions pass through (eg. compassion, anger, fear, remorse, hesitation, pride, judgment/disgust against the evil’s deeds or the violence he executes), only a solemn severity can be seen. Even for other angel figures of the Christian iconography, feelings were initially expressed through their gestures and hands. This changed at the end of the Middle Ages: angels were depicted with emotions and expressions eg. smiling to suggest their angelic gentleness, especially when represented suffering next to the Christ being crucified. But Saint Michael stays depicted with an impassive/calm expression, at most with a discreet rictus. Clémentine Denèle comments it could be explained by his ethereal nature and superior quality as an angel unlike humans & the overall idealistic representation of angels. She quotes the art historian Jean Wirth: he says the immobility and the impassibility are characteristic of the superior beings, because they convey an abstraction and reflect the stable order of invisible things. To materialize their constant presence by God and humans’ side, angels make themselves visible to the humans by assuming a human form as well. Vivid expressions were exclusive to the damned and the demons. It aligns with the attitude he exhibits in the Epistle of Jude 1:9: « But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” » Passing a partial judgement on the evil is not his mission, Clémentine Denèle says he only assumes his role as God’s armed wing and as such, his faithful obedience and trust in God command quietude under any circumstances: as the executor of divine justice, he knows for a fact his mission is devoted to the good and it must be fulfilled. She reports there were only rare occurrences depicting him with anger and aggressiveness or fear (he’s most of the time confident in the battle’s aftermath), and he’s also rarely present to mourn the Christ as he is crucified: it is not his place.

On a related note, Narae’s name (나래) is the synonym of wing, spelled 날개. 나래 was officially admitted as an alternate orthography for the word in 2011. But from what I gathered, it’s only used in a literary/poetic context, while the common spelling stays 날개.

♦ More on names & hanja

After all these episodes, some hanja that could be used for KMC, KSJ and Joohyun’s names now seem relevant to note:

— For Kim Muchan

-> Mu in Muchan Law (橅 & 膴, 법) as I mentioned in the first post: it aligns with his ambiguous position on justice on the past (‘a rational justice’ that doesn’t follow the official law if it’s unfair) and in the present (manipulating evidence and proceedings to arrest culprits but still handling them within the law, rejecting Gaetal’s ways)

Deceive/lie (誣, 속이다) & fog/mist/haze (霧, 안개): his unreliable narration, the way he deceived people to catch Gaetal in ep4 & the edit that appears in the preview ; KMC now seems even more ambiguous than KSJ.

Full of rumors (楙, 무성하다): his ‘Wipeout’ reputation

Rough/violent/tough (蕪, 거칠다): his overall reckless and violent behavior as he works

Work hard/try hard and strive/work/endeavor ie. devote oneself and contribute to doing sth (務, 힘쓰다): self-explanatory given what we saw in this episode, combined with the shots of his house and the first episode that explains his reputation!

Stroke/touch/caress with hands and figuratively soothe ie. calm down sb with warm words and acts (憮, 어루만지다 and 애무하다 which can have a romantic tone = caress, stroke affectionately ie. for sb to gently stroke the one they love): his overall restraint to reach out to KSJ and guilt over being too late to save Narae. The new OST’s lyrics also refer to those kinds of feelings (whoever the narrator is), especially ‘Let me hold your hand, 더 가까이 너를’ (‘Let me hold your hand, Closer to you’), ‘익숙치않은 이런 내 모습 미안해’ (‘I’m sorry for this unfamiliar me [I showed you]’) and ‘Oh, please tell me why — 더는 네게 — 늦지 않게’ (‘Oh, please tell me why — I won’t be late for you anymore’).

EDIT: also, some shots indeed focus on KSJ's hands as he buries himself in them to cry in front of KMC!

House (廡, 집): KSJ’s house he seems to know pretty well and possibly holds precious memories to him, and his own house he doesn’t seem to tend to, probably out of guilt (see a previous post, ‘On the frames facing down (ep. 1 & 6), shame and guilt’)

Warrior (ie. person who learns martial arts and practices it as a job) & soldier/military/army (武, 무사 & 병사 respectively): his potential association to St. Michael who led heavenly armies + for posterity, if they reveal later in the drama he also knows martial arts and it somehow involves him with the Killing Vote (the first episode & ep3 at least showed he was quite agile)

Shaman (巫, 무당 ; though the word is mainly associated to female shamans, male shamans can also be called mudang): a shaman « employs magic to effect cures, to tell fortunes, to soothe spirits of the dead, and to repulse evil »

Dance (舞, 춤추다): like… the talchum… masks… in addition to the shaman... you know… haha

— For Kwon Seokju

-> Kwon [You can also apply relevant meanings to Narae, since it’s her last name]

Prison (圈, 감방): both physical and figurative ever since Narae died and he murdered BWT

Abstain/refrain from ie. be careful about one’s speech or behavior (惓, ��가다): his overall behavior in the present

Tired/exhausted/weary (倦, 고달프다): what he wen through these whole 8 years

Take care of/look after/oversee, heartfelt/caring (惓, 정성스럽다) & warm/friendly: self-explanatory about his character in general when we see his past self with Narae, Jihoon & KMC, and other people in general (BWT’s parents, LMS, his students) before Narae’s case

Loyal/devoted (惓, 충성스럽다): devoted wholeheartedly to his family

Look back/reflect on the past (睠, 돌아보다): also self-explanatory

-> Seok in Seokju

Untie (釋, 풀다 ie. return what has been tied, bound, or twisted back to its original state)/relieve anger or sorrow/get rid of one’s agony by handling it : he’s still waiting for the accomplice to Narae’s murder to be arrested to find some closure after all those years, he perhaps also wants to put an end to it all for KMC to stop feeling guilty over the case.

Night (夕, 밤), tide (汐, 조수 ie. seawater flowing in and out from the shore because of the gravitational pull of the sun and moon) & tideland (潟, 개펄 ie. wide expanse of mud revealed when the tide goes down): [if the moon and sun imagery holds some meaning in the drama] ; also, most of KSJ’s scenes in the beginning were shot in the dark compared to the bright scenes with Narae and Jihoon

... The Mont Saint-Michel is known to be a tidal island and for its fog haha

-> Ju in Seokju [You can apply the relevant meanings to Joohyun too]

House (宙, 집): the house that had good natural lighting (Narae, Jihoon and perhaps KMC) he cherished is now gone, it is derelicted after all these years

Bear/endure/put up with ie. endure sth for a long time, resist (拄, 버티다): self-explanatory too

Sunlight/sunbeam/sunshine (晭, 햇빛): the shots of him mourning or basking in the light

Timely rain but also heavy rain/downpour (澍, 단비 and 폭우) & wick and burn out ie. burn and eliminate sth (炷, 심지 & 불사르다) as I mentioned in the first post!

The fire imagery is also present with Joohyun’s character and her scar.

It’s associated to the tragedy she had to live, and we could project the same theme to KMC & KSJ who went through the same, all linked by this ‘terrible rage’ still waiting to be put out.

The hanja 火 (which is what 炷, the hanja for wick/burn out is composed of) is associated to anger (화, anger, fury) and fire (불).

Given the previous posts, you can also link it to the haetae (symbol of justice which feeds off fire, is said to prevent fires) or the eternal fire at the Last Judgment.

— For Joohyun

-> Hyun in Joohyun

Snoop/nose around (俔, 염탐하다): self-explanatory hahaha

Bright ie. a place being light as a result of getting a lot of sun/light or brilliant (adj.)/break or dawn but also fig. cheerful/bright (炫, 밝다), sunlight/sunbeam/sunshine (昡, 햇빛 and 晛, 햇살) and kind-hearted/benevolent (賢, 어질다): self-explanatory for this lovely character!!

Wise/sagacious/sensible (賢, 현명하다): she has a soothing and mature side to her eg. as she talked to KMC & Jihoon

Clever/bright/intelligent (儇, 영리하다): self-explanatory too!!

Connect/link/join (縣, 연결하다, can also be used for people): she seems to connect with people around her with ease, and she looks like she’s trying to reconnect KMC to KSJ

♦ « The person Kwon Seokju cherished the most »

I don’t know where this will lead, but KMC JJW’s quote in ep6 as he relayed it to KSJ: initially, it was about ‘the person KSJ loved the most’ (가장 사랑하는 사람 ; 사랑하다 = love/care ie. cherish, value, and care for sb with all one’s heart).

KMC quoted it as ‘the person KSJ cherished the most’ (가장 소중한 사람 ; 소중하다 = valuable/precious/cherished/dear): while the two adjectives almost mean the same thing, ‘cherished’ feels more personal than the general ‘loved’ (사랑하다 is also used a lot) and conveys the invaluable dearness better in this situation to me.

#국민사형투표 #the killing vote #tkv #kdrama

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like-a-bantha · 1 year ago

Text

Sleep Study

Summary: When there's no time for piloting lessons, you suggest a sort of learning-by-osmosis experiment to Tech. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairing: Tech/GN Reader (No Y/N)

Rating: T

Warnings: Language, not beta-read

Word Count: 6.2K

AO3 | Masterlist

Now, this might sound weird – maybe even a tad disrespectful – but bear with me.

I’ve recently begun piloting lessons with Tech and I couldn’t ask for a better teacher. He knows, while I am a proficient mechanic, I’m a total novice when it comes to actually flying, and the man deserves a medal for his patience with me. I’ll ask the same question five times and he only gets mildly agitated around the third, but he’s always been understanding. Not everyone can be a certified genius, after all.

So lessons have been going pretty not bad, I’d say; it’s the workload that’s been causing problems. Cid’s got us going from job to job with almost no breaks. Lately we’re lucky if we get half a rotation to stop and refuel, let alone catch our breath. We’re all exhausted. We’re all on edge. It’s gotten to the point where we’ve had to put a pause on the lessons for a few days just to keep up with general maintenance on top of the back-to-back missions. Thankfully, in those few quiet moments where we can get to that maintenance, I’ve been able to sort of keep up on my lessons thanks to Tech’s rants. And maybe, for whatever reason, my brain decided these rants were incredibly soothing on one particular sleepless flight. And maybe, who knows why, I may have fallen asleep just a bit. It didn’t seem like Tech was angry, or even upset. He was almost apologetic when he gently nudged me awake.

Today, after landing on Ord Mantell for an incredibly brief pit stop, Tech and I work in silence below the ship. He’s been quiet with me since my last accidental nap and I just can’t figure out how to voice how sorry I am without sounding — I don’t know. Disingenuous? And if I’m honest, how do I avoid sounding like a total creep? But we’re just working next to each other, neither of us saying a word, and it’s nice but it’s not us and there’s this massive knot in my gut saying well, it’s your own fault, don’t you remember?

This silence is awfully comfortable. It really would be such a shame if something were to change that.

“Hey, Tech,” I jumped in without a plan and I’ve given up hope on this being eloquent in any way, at this point I’ll be glad if my question is at least somewhat coherent, “I’m sorry about,” I trail off a bit, I don’t want to finish that sentence actually, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I just, I had this idea — weird idea — and maybe a request? Feel free to shoot it down, I mean, if it’s too much. Would you mind sending me the audio files of your lessons? Sorry, just, they’re really interesting but also relaxing and, and, maybe it can be a sort of experiment, y’know? If I fall asleep listening will I retain the information? Strange idea, sorry.”

Tech stares blankly, and when I turn to meet his gaze after giving myself a moment to reboot, he continues to stare blankly. His head is just barely tilted, and he wears a look somewhere between genuine confusion and borderline concern. With a slight shake of his head he finally responds, “Forgive me, I’m afraid I do not follow.”

If only there was a way to smash your head into a wall a few times without doing any real damage. I’d kill for that right about now. I could’ve just kept my mouth shut but no. Real bang-up job on my part.

“I, uh, I fell asleep the other day because – well, because I was tired, mainly – I don’t know, I just find your voice really soothing? Like, everything’s been really chaotic lately but listening to you talk about paralight systems made it,” I take a deep breath, no going back now, “ah, it made it a lot less chaotic. Like everything was quiet for a minute. Safe.”

Another long exhale. Tech’s still silent, processing, but his brows are raised now and his eyes have gone a bit wide behind his goggles. I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing just yet. It’s probably best to go against my gut and keep my mouth shut for a few minutes, but now the minutes feel longer than usual. Karked this one up a bit, I think.

“So you would like the audio files to… study?” I nod before he even finishes his sentence. “Or will you be using them to fall asleep?” I’m still nodding and it certainly isn’t helping his confusion at all.

“Both?” I shrug.

He raises his gloved hand inquisitively to his chin, and his face is blank aside from the visible pondering, and now I’m really starting to think I’ve karked it all up. I could’ve put more thought into it, taken my time both in the apology and easing him into the idea of sharing his pre-recorded knowledge, but instead I sloppily tossed all my cards on the table knowing I had a shit hand. And not just any shit hand, no, it’s an alarmingly weird hand. Just as I’m about to start spewing apologies his hand drops slightly from his chin, index finger extended, “An interesting experiment indeed. I shall transfer the files of our previous lessons as well as my own personal recordings.”

Huh.

Wait. “Personal recordings?” Why do my ears feel warm?

Luckily for me his face is buried too deep in his datapad to notice the tinge of red creeping up my neck. “Yes, before you joined our squad and long before our schedule became so hectic, I kept an audio diary of sorts. Detailed accounts of my findings on missions.”

“Cool,” Yes, I can feel how wide and dopey my grin is but I’m still riding the high of my botched opener somehow working and couldn’t care less. “I feel like I remember seeing you telling a bug facts about itself way back when I met you guys. Makes sense now.”

His brows immediately furrow as he finally pulls his gaze away from the glowing screen in his hands. “You assumed I was talking to the insect?”

Straight faced, I raise both my hands like I’m pleading innocent. “Hey, I don’t judge.”

I break first. My shoulders begin to shake, then my still-raised hands, as the laughter bubbles up. Tech isn’t far behind. We look at each other as we laugh and I can’t help thinking that if it were anyone else I’d hide my face, but it’s like I’ve just now realized turning away would mean missing this uncharacteristically uncontained joy.

Normally I hate sleeping in my helmet. I know it’s for protection or whatever, but there are few things worse than waking up with a crick in your neck and the gnarly one-two punch that is the bed-head-helmet hair hybrid. Alas, I am dedicated to not only my experiment but also not getting mocked by Wrecker for the next week for listening to Tech’s lecture on, let’s see… “Botanical Symbolism in Folklore Across Kashyyyk”? Sounds interesting. But since I’m not on watch for another seven hours, I can actually take my time choosing rather than scrolling a few pages ahead to the B’s and picking the first one that stands out. I kept scrolling and skimming for a while, he must’ve sent his entire audio library to me; there are hundreds of pages and I’m barely halfway through the aurebesh. Then I’m suddenly scrolling rapidly back to the top of the page as if my subconscious just had a great idea that I’m simply too conscious to understand, and that great idea is to sort the files in chronological order.

I don’t have to scroll back very far at all, Tech wasn’t kidding when he said he only stopped his audio diary when the work started. There’s one titled “The mountainous planet of Guntcania 5” from a few days before we last left Ord Mantell. We’d been sent to loot a newly abandoned Imperial shipyard, driven out by a group of formidable freedom fighters whom we were told were not in it for the profit but the valiant cause. Turns out it was both. I remember Tech quietly commenting on the geological formations to no one in particular. I remember standing a bit closer to hear his comments. I fell asleep just shy of eleven minutes after hitting play.

He caught me in the kitchen not long after I woke up, both of us beelining to the instant caf.

“Thought your shift was over,” I grab two packets from the drawer as Tech retrieves two mugs from the cupboard, “Want some of that herbal tea instead? Get some rest, maybe?”

It’s nice, these quiet moments with him. I’ll watch the kettle, if that old saying is true maybe I can buy us a few more of those moments.

“I have yet to decrypt the schematics from the refinery,” With a heavy sigh he sets the datapad down on the countertop, his shoulders hang and his exhaustion is visible, “Once I’ve completed that and analyze the data I will rest. Until then, I will stick with caf.”

I give a sympathetic smile, “Y’know, I’d offer to help but I think that isn’t exactly my area of expertise.”

“I would more than appreciate the company,” Tech interjects, and by the look on his face I think it took us both by surprise. “If you would be so kind as to join me, that is. Though, if you have duties you must attend to I completely understand and–”

My surprise quickly melts into a warm smile. “‘Course, Tech. I’d love to.” And his face softens in turn. And then there’s a beat where we’re just standing there smiling at each other. Then another. And another. Have you ever seen a tooka knock a cup off of a table and jump at the sound of the crash? Now, imagine that but instead of a tooka it’s two mercenaries, and instead of the clatter of a cup it’s the kettle coming to a boil with an abrupt screech. I think we’d find it much funnier if we weren’t still in the vast realm of half-asleep. Right now, it’s just enough to elicit a soft chuckle at most.

Tech retrieves his datapad as I fix the caf. “Have you begun conducting your experiment? I’m sure you’ve already seen, but I have transferred all of my files from the past year or so, I’m interested to hear your findings.”

It’s enough to slow my movements, brain power diverted to processing his question as I reach for the milk at half speed. “Oh. I, uh, I played the one from Guntcania 5. Didn’t last long, though, I was out by the time you got to regional climates.”

“You were with us for that mission. Perhaps choosing a mission or topic you are unfamiliar with would better prove your theory.”

I nod once before turning to join him, a steaming mug in each hand, carefully placing the caf in front of him as I sit. “Realized as soon as I woke up. Any recommendations for tonight's file?”

He names several from memory as he works on his own task, giving brief descriptions of each without giving away too much — that could skew the results. I add them all to a separate folder, sorting them in order of how excited Tech seemed at the topic.

Of course, things got hectic again and I didn’t have time for experiments – I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been listening to those files, though. Five rotations, a standard week’s worth of sleeps and dreams in the tune of Tech’s voice. I’m waking up well-rested despite sleeping only a handful of hours at a time. I’m practically begging the force to fry some wiring or call off a job to spend even just a few minutes with him. I’m starting to think I may have a problem.

Cid called while we were out hunting down puffer pigs for one of her clients. Hunter walked away with the holoprojector about halfway through the conversation, he later told Omega this was to avoid scaring the animals but Echo and I overheard the real reason. That’s another ten credits in the swear jar. When we get one, that is; right now it’s sort of just an honor system. Next mission – big client, big payout, big enough to hack away a good chunk of our debt and take a couple days off – was called off at the last second, she’d try talking to the client again but, right now, and I quote, “He ain’t budgin’.” We’re still on call, though, and flat broke after our last refuel, so this is really just the galaxy’s worst vacation. Hunter’s hushed and extensive vocabulary perfectly summed up our feelings on the matter.

I was going to try to get some rest on the way back to Ord Mantell but puffer pigs are noisy enough in a relaxed state, toss six of them in a cramped starship and toss that starship into hyperspace and you’ll start to realize noisy doesn’t even begin describe it. Poor Hunter’s locked himself in the ‘fresher, of course Tech installed some sound dampening element to the audio relay in his helmet, but that can only do so much. Omega and Wrecker tried calming the animals to no avail, they’ve resorted to tossing bits of ration bars at them as – I’d say tasty, but eugh – edible bribes. Echo and Tech are arguing over something; it’s small, I think, but I’m too tired to step in and mediate right now. What was supposed to be a short flight felt like years.

“Never thought I’d be happy to be back here, but it sure beats being stuck in hyperspace with these things,” Echo says quietly, carefully lowering the crate in his arms, making sure not to wake the puffer pig that had just fallen asleep. I gently placed the crate I was holding right next to it, maybe when they wake up in this new place seeing one another will calm them down. Or they’ll freak out together.

“Between you and the puffer pigs, I must choose the latter,” Tech mutters, still snippy after the long journey, Echo and I turn to look at him in unison.

Echo’s expression is that of a brother who’s accustomed to that sort of teasing, flat and unphased. Mine, however…

“Hey,” I do my best to keep my voice down, “Not cool.”

Echo’s expression is no longer unphased. It is phased. There’s confusion, surprise, the hint of a smile; he seemed as tired as the rest of us before, but this clearly perked him up. Usually when I step in on these little disagreements I remain as unbiased as I can but I am now, very clearly, taking Echo’s side and now he’s visibly interested in seeing how this plays out. I know I still look hurt by the comment that wasn’t even about me. And Tech, his shift in emotion is visible, I could see him process his remark and my reaction, and his furrowed brows loosen as he looks between the two of us.

“You are correct,” Tech nods once, looking to his brother, “Apologies, Echo, I did not mean that.”

After a moment, a smile graces Echo’s face, “I’ll accept that apology.” And gives his brother a solid pat on the shoulder on his way over to the bar.

“I get grumpy-tired, too, I know how it is,” I bump him with my shoulder, an attempt to break a tension that was not there.

“You do not seem grumpy right now,” Tech breathes out a laugh.

I shrug, “Well maybe I’m not tired right now. Maybe I’m just–” My body decides this is the perfect time for an unsuppressable yawn. “Maybe I’m too tired to be grumpy-tired.”

Tech hums, “A valid theory, it seems.” With a tired chuckle and lazy nod I glance around the near-empty bar. Wrecker and Echo sit at the counter with their drinks while they recount the mission to Cid. Hunter’s setting up the cot for Omega, who is already beginning to fall asleep at Cid’s desk, before he joins his brothers. “I am going to head back to the Marauder and get some rest if you care to accompany me.”

“Yes, please, a quiet ship and sleep sounds like heaven right now,” He stands aside, allowing me to lead the way out of the parlor after saying goodnight to our squadmates.

The cool air of Ord Mantell is enough to keep me awake just long enough to carry myself back to the ship. I hear the ghost of a laugh beside me as another yawn takes hold of me. “I fear you may have conditioned yourself, the sound of my voice alone seems to be putting you to sleep.”

Turns out I’m not too tired for a good laugh, “Yeah, keep talking and you’re gonna have to carry me the rest of the way.”

“I assure you, I was trained to carry men twice my size across the battlefield, I can manage.”

“Right,” I nod, later I’ll blame my dopey smile on exhaustion, “Hey, wait, why men twice your size?”

“It is standard protocol.”

“No, like, isn’t it a one size type of deal? Clones and all, y’know,” He stares blankly at me. “Well, yeah, a few exceptions, but broadly speaking it’s just the one size.”

“I see,” Tech says, and I’ve got this look like I just beat a holochess master, “Your exhaustion has caused a state of delirium. Perhaps this means I’m forced to carry you the rest of the way to best keep you safe.” A barked laugh escapes me at that. “Very well.”

Wait. “Wait! No, no, I’m good! I’m up! I’m awake!” And I am, very much so now as I pick up my pace to evade capture. After my laughter subsides I slow my steps to a walk, and Tech quickly catches up, as we traverse the familiar streets of Ord Mantell.

The Marauder’s ramp lowers with a hiss as we approach. “Dibs on the sonic,” I call over my shoulder as I scurry towards the refresher, Tech makes no protest and takes his time boarding the starship. Our water supply, while it is thankfully abundant these days, always seems to be stuck at the average human body temperature – no warmer, no colder – but at least the cycle itself doesn’t last long at all. A full-body shower only takes about three minutes in the sonic, Republic standard for conservation of resources and time between missions according to Tech. While it is efficient, I do miss a good boiling hot, thirty minute shower to tell the truth; I’d never tell the squad that, though, I’m grateful for what we’ve got.

The chime of my datapad sounded halfway through the sonic’s cycle and I emerge to find a message from Tech. A new audio file and a handful of recommendations. I dress myself with an all-too-giddy smile. After hastily gathering up my things from the ‘fresher I elbow the door control, ready to shout my thanks to the clone and surrender the now warm ‘fresher to him. Instead, however, I am met with the clone himself, standing in front of the doorway, datapad in one hand while the other is in position to knock on the now open door.

He retracts that hand quickly, though, he still looks as if he’s about to say something but nothing has come out yet.

I decide to take the lead. “Hey, thanks for the message. ‘Fresher’s all yours.”

His parted lips form a smile. “I- you are welcome.” But when I exit the refresher and step to the side he makes no move to enter. “After reviewing a handful of files I found those to be most interesting, I hope this helps your experiment.”

My grin widens, “Thank you, Tech, it’ll definitely help.” He nods just once with a smile before retreating into the ‘fresher. Maybe I stared at the door just a second too long. Maybe I even let out a quiet little giggle before heading over to my bunk.

I can hear the sonic start as I finally turn in, scrolling through highlighted files on my datapad while I try to get comfortable on the flat old mattress pad which always proves to be an impossible task. My sights lock in on a file between two of Tech’s suggestions labeled “Repairs and Maintenance”. Do I already know the in’s and out’s of most starships? Of course. Do I still learn something new everytime Tech talks about the in’s and out’s of the Marauder? Of kriffing course. Perfect.

The sonic’s still running when I put my helmet on and hit play, and I’m promptly out like a light.

I wake with a stir when I feel something plush fall on my helmeted head and open my eyes to see a large hand reach down and grab the offending object. Wrecker whispers an apology as he gingerly retrieves his Lula after dropping her into my bunk. Still half asleep, I can’t decide if that sorry was for me or the doll. The guys are back.

With a quiet, sleepy groan, I roll onto my side and pull my knees to my chest, blindly reaching for the datapad behind me. Waking the device is a mistake as I am instantly shocked by its brightness, my eyes snap shut and I dim the screen. I’ve moved onto a new recording, it seems. This one is titled “Atmospheric Changes of Taccoh”, about five minutes in. Taccoh was one of my first missions with them, I remember my excitement at how well we worked together as a team. I’m not usually good on a team, but clicking with these guys was just easy. It just felt right.

“—they seem to be adjusting rather well to mercenary work. I must say, they are quite the knowledgeable mechanic and are proving to be a great asset to the squad. Wrecker’s comments on their romantic interest in me are, in my opinion, absurd. Though I would not be opposed to such interest, I find the probability highly unlikely. Their interest, as I’ve observed, lies both in their work and the pursuit of knowledge. Qualities I find most admirable, as well as —“

Pause.

The heart rate monitor on my dimmed HUD glows an ominous red as the number rises.

Oh god. Kriff. I found Tech’s kriffing diary.

I pry the helmet from my head, foregoing any attempt to fix my surely frazzled hair, still damp from the fresher, and swing my legs over the side of my bunk to sit up. My whole body is tense, my knuckles pale from the force of my grip on the durasteel frame. Fresh air. Yes. Fresh air would do me good right now, I’d say.

The room seems to spin as I fumble for my boots and the sheer volume at which my mind screams nearly drowns out Echo, half-asleep and confused, staring at me through squinted eyes from his bunk.

“You alright?” His tired voice repeats.

“Yes, yeah,” I answer, all too quickly, “just need some air, is all. You okay? You good? Sleeping okay?”

Echo’s brows furrow, he shifts slightly to face me properly, “I was,” he suppresses a yawn and I hurry up with my boots, “but then you shot up like you saw a ghost.”

My laughter is quiet but crazed, and I can barely hear it, “Ship’s not haunted, Echo, go back to sleep.”

I stand to leave but the quiet call of my name stops me in my tracks, I turn to face the sleepy clone. “You sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” I try to make it sound convincing but I know it’s a sorry attempt, “really, get some rest. Be back soon.” His gaze remains fixed on me for a moment longer before he shuts his eyes, nodding before settling his head on the pillow once again. I let out a portion of a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding as I hurry out of the ship and into the crisp night air of Ord Mantel.

My feet take me to Cid’s. She shut the sign off but I can hear the jukebox from the street, no luck kicking out the regulars for the night, it seems. My feet then decide to take me down the stairs. Then to the bar.

“Great, I try to kick two out and a third appears,” the trandoshan huffs from behind the bar, “If you’re looking for dark and broody and the kid, they’re sleeping. Not sure how, these two bozos won’t shut up.” She shouts in the direction of the booming jukebox and patrons as she pours two drinks before sliding one to me.

“Hey, can I get your take on something?” I down the drink, extending the cup in a silent request.

She glances tentatively first at my now empty cup, then at her own drink, before quickly finishing it to pour us each a second round. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Tell ya after I hear it.”

I laugh into my drink. “This stays between us.” She laughs into her drink. “Or I can just finish my free drink and leave.”

“Fine, fine. Between us.” She waves a dismissive hand. “But it better be interesting or these are going on your tab.”

My brows furrow, I nod just once before finishing my second drink, and the second the empty cup makes contact with the sticky countertop I blurt it out, “I listened to Tech’s diary.”

She waits for me to go on, I wait for her to be a voice of reason. Neither of us get what we’re looking for. “Alright, you found Goggles’ diary. And?”

“And?” I echo, incredulously. “I accidentally listened to some really, really personal stuff that I can’t un-listen to, what do I do? Do I tell him? What, do I say ‘Hey, Tech, so the learning by osmosis experiment was a bust but a little birdie — you, you’re the birdie — told me you had a big ol’ crush on me, for, like a while, so I just wanted to —‘ I don’t know what I want. Kriff, this is bad, isn’t it?”

Cid stares at me like I’m a three-headed mythosaur for what feels like hours, I try to calm my breathing, try to take a sip from my already empty cup. I’m only pulled out of my thought loop by the howl of Cid’s laughter. It even manages to pull Bolo and Ketch’s attention away from the jukebox, if only for a second. In all the time I’ve known her, I’ve never heard Cid laugh so hard. My look of shock remains even as her laughter subsides.

“Good one, kid. You almost had me for a second there.” She gently wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, but the laughter returns when she notices my expression is unchanged. “Oh, you’re serious?”

“Obviously I’m kriffing serious! Cid, I’m kind of in deep shit here, I need advice, I don’t need you laughing in my face!”

“Oh, relax, it’s not like you didn’t know. You idiots have been pining over each other from day one. Didn’t think Goggles would make the first move, though, I owe Muscles ten credits.” She mutters, though clearly still amused.

“I didn’t know! Force, how would I have known!” I put my head down on the bar with a sigh. “So, what, everyone knows and I’m just the last to find out?”

“Got it.”

All I can manage is a dramatic groan.

“Just talk to him, what’s the worst that can happen?”

I don’t even need to think about it, “I say exactly what I said before, weird him out, and go back to working by myself because he never wants to see me again.”

“Yeesh, try living a little sometime, kid. It’ll do you good,” Cid cringes into her cup, “Talk to him. Trust me.”

With a roll of my eyes I extend my empty cup one last time, Cid fills it without a word and I down the drink before leaving the empty glass on the bar as I stand, “Those were on you, I could’ve gotten better advice from Bolo and Ketch.”

“Can’t argue with you there, they’ve been together as long as I’ve known them,” She rinses out the empty cup and tosses it into the washer. “He’s crazy about you, kid. Just tell him how you feel.”

Cid’s words play on repeat in my mind as I wander the now empty city streets. Talk to him right, easier said than done. What if he’s not ready for a relationship? What if I’m not? We’re already so busy, will we really have the time? What if this changes our dynamic irreparably? What if I lose my closest friend?

It takes hearing someone call my name to pull me from what could’ve been an eternal thought loop. I’m back at Cid’s, a weary Hunter stands below the glowing sign, his arms crossed and he somehow looks both concerned and amused, “Going for a fourth lap around the block?” My lips part as if I could form a response but I come up short, opting to shrug instead. “Care if I join you?” I nod and we walk side by side, allowing silence to settle between us.

“Thought you were asleep,” I break that silence. Better to get it out of the way now, I figure I know where this is going.

“Not with all that noise,” Hunter lets out a deep sigh, he must know he could just power the damn jukebox down and get some rest. “I don’t know how Omega does it, that kid can sleep through anything.”

“She’s exhausted,” I let out a sigh of my own, “We all are.”

“Cid’s focused in on this puffer pig client, that’ll buy us some time to regroup, rest up.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Hunter nods, the silence that follows is not as easy or relaxed as earlier. He breaks it first, “I’m assuming you know what I’m about to say.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the plan?”

“Talk, I guess. Can’t not now, huh?”

“That’s your choice,” He stops walking, catching me off guard, I stop a few paces ahead and turn to face him, “Never thought I’d say it, but I’m with Cid. The happiest I’ve ever seen him is when he’s talking to you. I get the feeling the same goes for you.”

I bite the inside of my lip, suppressing the smile that threatens to light up my face. Not the time. I nod, crossing my arms, “It does.”

“Good,” He smiles this warm, genuine smile before his serious sergeant demeanor returns, “Don’t let it get in the way of the job.”

“Copy that.” I give him a mock salute, to which his head drops with a tired laugh before his ears perk up. I raise my eyebrows in question as he turns his head in the direction of the parlor.

“Music’s stopped,” Hunter takes a step forward, extending an arm to pat my shoulder before retreating. “Get some rest.”

“Thanks, Hunter.” I give a little wave and watch as he retreats to the now quiet bar down the dimly lit street.

I begin my walk back to the ship, my mind still racing but not nearly as catastrophically quick as before my chat with Hunter. He’s probably still asleep, and I’m not planning on going back to the ship to wake him up and talk about this. My best bet would be to shoot him a message, ask if we could talk when he wakes up. Word travels too fast with these guys and the last thing I want is Wrecker bragging to his brothers about how he put his money on Tech and won. When I reach for my datapad I find the pocket is empty. Of course. I pick up the pace, almost frantically trying to recall whether or not I locked the device in my hasty departure. Odds aren’t looking great, though.

I take my boots off at the bottom of the ramp and tip-toe up in bare feet. Two out of the three men aboard are light sleepers and the last thing I want is to wake them as if I’m some teen sneaking back home after a party. Quiet as a mouse droid, I make my way back to my bunk as Wrecker’s snores reverberate through the durasteel walls. I’m greeted by my helmet, tossed haphazardly next to my pillow, but no datapad. Uh-oh. I glance into Echo’s bunk and find him sleeping, but the bunk above his, Tech’s bunk, remains empty. You’ve gotta be kriffing kidding me. Back to my tip-toes, I make my way to the kitchenette first, also empty, then the cockpit. The control panel is dimmed and all of the seats turned forward, if it weren’t for the tell-tale glow of a datapad screen I’d have thought Tech had simply vanished.

Without a word I join him, only releasing a quiet sigh as I sit in the copilot’s seat. He doesn’t look up from the datapad, its screen displaying the evidence of my discovery in bold text. “I didn’t intend to include such personal files.”

“Yeah, I didn’t intend to listen.” He nods before handing me my device, our gazes still not meeting. I take a turn staring at the display, rereading the title of the file over and over as I continue, “I fell asleep listening to ‘Repairs and Maintenance’, woke up to this one.”

“I, again, must sincerely apologize for any discomfort this finding has brought you, I was not planning to tell you in such an impersonal manner.”

“How did you…” I trail off, he was fast asleep when I left, I never pegged him for the type to pretend to be asleep and his quiet snores sounded so real.

“Echo woke me up, it was shortly after you had left. He said you appeared to be in a state of shock, I found you’d left your datapad open on your bunk.”

“That checks out.” Now that I’m here with him I can almost find the humor in the situation, I even manage a quiet laugh, “I’m sorry I flipped out, I just wasn’t expecting to wake up to that, I guess.”

He finally turns to face me, “You have nothing to apologize for.” “Neither do you,” I retort, meeting his gaze with a smile. I can almost see his thought process before his mouth forms an ‘o’ shape as he realizes the meaning behind my words. I continue, regardless, I heard him spill his guts, it’s only fair I do the same for him, “I feel the same way, Tech. I have for a while. Come to think of it, maybe I always have. Your feelings didn’t scare me, the possibilities did.”

He cocks his head in question, “Possibilities?”

“I’m scared of our dynamic changing, I’m scared I’ll kriff it all up and lose you. I’m no good at this kind of stuff and the last thing I want is for our relationship to suffer because of me,” I ignore the tears beginning to form in my eyes, turning my attention back to the viewport. Tech’s gaze, however, remains locked on me.

A hand reaches out, resting gently on mine, his thumb ghosting across my shaking fingers, “My darling, the fact that you are willing to voice these fears should be evidence enough that you have nothing to worry about. You contain a level of emotional intelligence that will never cease to amaze me. Should you choose to act upon these feelings, I assure you, we will be just fine.”

My eyes meet his, I don’t notice a tear has fallen until he reaches his hand up to wipe it away. When he notices how I lean into his touch, he cradles my cheek ever so gently, and I shut my eyes to savor the feeling, letting a warm smile wash away my worried frown. I rest a still-shaky hand upon his, opening my eyes to meet his once again, “What do you say we figure it out together, then?”

“A wonderful idea, darling,” Tech closes the small distance between us, placing a kiss upon my forehead. I can feel his smile. “However, I’ll need to review my files before you continue your experiment.”

I pull back, a look of faux shock on my face, too giddy to feel the real thing right now, “You mean there’s more?”

“Frankly, an embarrassing amount, perhaps we will review them someday but I’ve taken the liberty of deleting the more… risque files from your library.”

I’m glad the door to the cockpit is closed, otherwise the volume of my laugh surely would’ve woken both Echo and Wrecker, “Risque?!”

“I would greatly appreciate it if you refrained from mocking me,” Tech sighs, the mirth in his tone evident.

“Maybe that can be the next experiment,” I laugh with a smirk.

“Mocking me does not sound like an experiment I would have any interest in partaking in, thank you very–” His mild offense fades away in realization, “Oh. An interesting experiment, indeed.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! As always, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, I love hearing your feedback! Part two will be posted soon <3

#the bad batch x reader #tech x reader #tech x you #tech tbb #hunter tbb #echo tbb #the bad batch & reader #star wars x reader #reader insert

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yourdrugisafartbreaker · 4 months ago

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So I know I already talked about el horso in a shorter post for April Fool’s Day, but after finally experiencing the sequel thanks to Acai’s video where he plays it on Clone Hero, I feel I need to dedicate some more post space this time.

el zebro is the longer continuation of el horso. Both can be described as long mashup projects posted by the el horso YouTube channel that are purposely designed to be hard to listen to due to the amount of shitposting in the songs, the amount of times Weezer gets used, and the particular techniques done and the way they are executed. These techniques include: Changing the speed, changing the pitch, editing spoken words, editing the beat while retaining the same sound font. doing layering that creates a wall of noise, and having sections be out of sync of each other. In addition, these videos are a visual experience along with being an audio experience, the editing is not to be taken for granted. These two projects essentially exist to make listeners/viewers uncomfortable by taking any sense of familiarity, whether that applies to the songs (or other references) used or traditional music conventions, and using that against listeners/viewers. Along with that, things can be very stagnant at times, but things can also change quickly. And you know what? I like that. Don’t get me wrong, I can despise parts of these projects in my soul, but the intoxicating allure of these projects is just making it through the storm. (As I said in the tags of my last post, el horso is good at being bad, not bad at being good. For el zebro, I’d say that it more so refuses being purely good for too long.)

With that being said, there are genuinely things surrounding these projects I unironically enjoy. Some sections are just too good and they get stuck in my brain. However, I think one of the things I most enjoy is the evolution from el horso to el zebro. Now, that does require listening to and/or watching both el horso and el zebro, but hear me out here. el zebro is a bit more repetitive than el horso, and because of that, they create different experiences to me. I listen to el horso curled up in a ball on the floor, while with el zebro, I’m at least only laying on the floor. el horso has me laughing due to the insanity of it all while el zebro more often has me laughing due to just the pure humor. el zebro is more diverse in terms of picking songs from different bands, genres, and years. In a way, this makes el zebro feel like a more complete experience, and I’m glad for that considering I was a bit hesitant on getting into it after my experience with el horso. Both projects are jank, but looking at the progression between el horso and el zebro, I’m glad the sequel left a more positive impact on me. Honestly, I was feeling genuine emotion at certain parts of el zebro, particularly the end.

As far as I know, all the people that were in some way a part of these projects are good people, I’d go check them out and how they orbit around the mashup community. If you want to experience el horso and el zebro for yourself due to this post, both are on the el horso channel, but here are the links for el horso and el zebro for your convenience. Now, if you want a bit of a middle man or buffer for the experiences so you don’t go in headfirst, I’d recommend checking out Acai playing el horso in Clone Hero and Acai playing el zebro in Clone Hero for funniness from both him and his chat along with occasional moments to pause.

#mashup album #el horso #el zebro #track 6 has my hips swaying while track 7 tickles me pink with the genre and track 19 got me laughing with the reference and edit #now el zebro is still cursed as shit if not more than el horso for the song in track 9 and i have to give a tw (train and weezer)#what’s really fucking crazy is the final 10 seconds of el zebro because chat i may have to make another post about this series in the future

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iguessitsjustme · 5 months ago

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Love Sea Episode 2 Thoughts

Okay. I just got home. Saw a strange little movie but it was soooo good. It needs to win awards for the sound mixing because it was brilliant. But I digress. Now I’m gonna go from a movie that made me shed 3 whole tears (impressive if you know me) to Love Sea. But I was promised that this week is at least…fine. Anyway, as always, liveblog under the cut:

Why was I logged out of IQIYI? Very confused why it wasn’t working but figured it out. I’m too tired for this honestly.

Okay just had a fight IQIYI for sound. Anyway, I’m gonna need a nap immediately after watching this.

Note to self: never go from a movie with quite literally some of the best sound mixing I’ve ever heard to BL. Especially MAME. Just don’t do it. It’s not fair to the show. That said, this is hurting my ears.

I was distracted by the god awful audio and wasn’t paying attention. I beg your pardon hWAT

We went from some extremes here. Didn’t you just think he was drowning and you were mad at him for that? Rightfully so? Horny boys….

The way I would not eat that clam. Mostly because my body has informed me that legally I cannot but also because I would be so pissed at having someone’s hand in front of my face.

Save Mook. Save her. Was Vie just…staring out her peephole for 30 minutes watching her? Like some sort of creep? Girl why? I hate how hot you are. Be a better person.

Is this…consensual? In a MAME show? Am I dreaming?

But also boys. Boys. The sand. Boys the sand. At least lay down a towel first or something.

He’s gonna write about this isn’t he?

Brings new meaning to post nut clarity. Cured his writer’s block…for now.

Can you hear my laughter at Mut being so confused why Rak is now writing? “Am I losing my touch?” As much as I would love you to have your ego bruised, I think you actually rocked his world so hard you helped him in more ways than one. Alas. It’s always the characters I hate that the show makes good in bed.

Oh look at all of Rak’s works. Look at our successful boy.

Save Mook. Kill Vie. What’s wrong with her? Just say you want to spend time with her. Don’t disparage yourself and make her your own personal slave I hate you.

I have now seen more ass than I wished to see today. Thank you Love Sea but also no thank you. Also jerkin it in the shower. Will Rak join him? Only time will tell! he did

I have seen…so much...tongue…in just one episode.

Honestly it’s a damn shame the sound mixing is so bad. I’m not actually hating this episode. Strange. But I need it to stop assaulting my ears.

BL boys stop opening condoms with their mouth challenge 2k24.

BAHASDHGKSJHDGKJHSDG give the translators a raise actually

Vie keep your lips to yourself. That was…gross. A reward would have been not making Mook do all of that work. Not…that. I hate it here. Imagine if the GL didn’t suck. Imagine that.

Why is Mook excited by that? Girl. You need friends. Friends would help you get a backbone. And also tell you what just happened is not okay.

Helmets? HELMETS? In my BL? I can’t believe my eyes.

I will keep my thoughts about the scene in which Rak talks about being a writer to myself. My thoughts are between me and god. And also anyone who asks. But you gotta ask for em.

Now IQIYI. I can’t read that. I have many skills but reading Thai is not one of them.

Did that man just jump into the water…on his own…specifically after having a problem with Mut doing that? I get it’s a different situation but my guy. MY GUY. There is no water safety in the show and I’m gonna lose my mind.

And this is why you don’t DIVE ALONE. I am losing it. Absolutely losing it.

Sure wish I knew what those texts said right about now.

I did not hate this episode. I did not hate them. I am…confused. Baffled even. I do think perhaps one scene in particular was a bit…no. I shan’t say. But just know that I am correct in my thoughts. I might actually be kind of looking forward to the next episode. Hopefully it doesn’t assault my ears dear god.

#love sea #love sea the series #love sea series #rae liveblogs love sea

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kristiemewisstan · 7 months ago

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The Tortured Poets Department Unhinged First Listen Review:

Fortnight-

NEEDS MORE POSTY, we love a “I wanna kill her”, this one MIGHT BE about Matty Healy lol “I touched you for only a fortnight”

The Tortured Poets Department-

“WHO USES TYPEWRITERS ANYWAY” YOU BITCH ITS YOU LOL, Charlie Puth name drop 🤨 oh god so many name drops, THIS BRIDGE, not the wedding ring…

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys-

THERE WAS A LITANY OF REASONS WHY WE SHOULDVE PLAYED FOR KEEPS THIS TIME my jaw literally dropped the entire last verse

Down Bad-

“Everything comes up teenage petulance” this one is cringy but in a way I love, Taylor Is Very Much A Down Bad Girlie

So Long, London-

this song is tachycardic I PROMISE I MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE “STOPPED CPR”, two graves one gun I SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WAS THE CLUES damn she’s really sad to lose London huh

But Daddy I Love Him-

this would have a cool music video “she’s was chaos he was revelry” this is if red and the 1975 had a child that’s the vibe

Fresh Out the Slammer-

Okay so this is the “I just realized how bad this relationship truly was and thank god I’m out of it”, okay the weird slow down stuff wasn’t my favorite thing

Florida!!!-

I’m cackling, THE FLORENCE VERSE IS SO GOOD I think that this is just a Florence and the machine song it sounds so like them

Guilty as Sin?-

Okay this is the first one I’ve been like “oooooo I really like this one” “what if I roll the stone away, they’re gonna crucify me anyway” DAMN some religious imagery will always get me right in the trauma

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?-

This one has a lot of the brain scratching pauses “don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth” oof this song is just really angry

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)-

Cowboy Like Me but they don’t end up happy, okay “good boy” made me giggle so apparently in a 12 year old boy

loml-

PIANO! WANT IVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME “still alive, killin time at the cemetery, never quite buried” I’m getting a gun and flying to London, I swear “TALKING RINGS AND TALKING CRADLES 🤨” JOE ALWYN FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH “THE LOSS OF MY LOVE” COUNT YOUR DAYS JOSEPH 💀, this should’ve been track 5

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart-

hello production that is giving Barbie movie/80s vibes, this is the first one I’m certain was written recently like it was definitely written on tour, the peppy “cause I’m miserable!” Hurt Me but also same

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived-

THE BREATH ahhhhh PIANO! “I don’t even want you back I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” okay back half of the album is eating, THE PICKUP, SPEAK NOW VIBES BUT MOM IS OLDER AND MADDER

The Alchemy-

ok ok ok “I circled you on a map I haven’t come around in so long but I’m coming back so strong” fucking meant,👌 touchdown mention lmao, okay this is SO ABOUT TRAVIS 🥹🥰

Clara Bow-

Best production on the album in the first 10 seconds, BEAUTY IS THE BEAST THAT ROSE, WAIT WHAT????? “You look like Taylor Swift” yeah queen because you are lol, It’s so people can make the audio of her singing all the album names lmao

First Overall Listen- 7/10

I was getting nervous in the front half but the back half more than made up for it

The vibe was just off at the start and honestly that’s probably a me thing and will get better with further listens

The lyrics were amazing as always

Production was okay, some of the songs were perfect and some had me going 🤨

Charlie Puth

Top 3 in no particular order (apparently I like songs that hurt me):

Guilty as Sin?

loml

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

#the tortured poets department #ttpd #taylorswift #taylor swift #okay so like I kinda |didn’t like| it for the front half #and then Guilty as Sin?#and the album began eating

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autisticempathydaemon · 10 months ago

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hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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thelanor-s-astame · 1 year ago

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EPISODE 2

youtube

This one is probably the episode I’m gonna have the least amount to say about. I still hadn't really solidified anything yet. It was still super off the cuff, and still uber amateur hour. But I think it’s a little bit better than the first one. I sorta lock down the flow a lot better in this one. The first bit in particular is really good. And it was a thing that I came up with in, like, the 11th hour that improved the whole thing. I remember needing to pad this bit out a little, I didn’t want to start with him meeting with Cornifer. I wanted him to establish himself a little first. And also it’s kinda funny when quite a bit of the video is me talking to two characters who I also play. Saine locked down the Cornifer voice in this episode. I think this is the first one I directed him in. He gives a real great performance here! Still real proud of the “Yeah money can’t buy happiness, but it can bribe off unhappiness so, yeah it’d help.” line. The dynamic zooms I did here are a little to tiny. This is something I still screw up from time to time. Gotta zoom in quite a bit if there’s only gonna be two cuts! But I always underestimate how much of something I need. Do that shit when I cook too. Just don’t add enough spices sometimes. But I started putting still images over the characters when they’re not talking! Me from two years ago is making little steps forward to give the series a visual style that works!

That’s the thing about these youtube videos that are nice. I can kinda just be really amatureish, screw up a ton, and have people come for the stuff I already know how to do, and just, figure it out as I go along! One of the things I started out thinking was “Is it gonna be a pain in the ass to manually apply a sound filter to every track every time I take damage on screen?” And nowadays that’s the *least* pain in the ass, manual thing I have to do! I can do that shit in less than a minute!

Also all the audio channel stuff whenever hornet shows up before the confrontation, is just me playing around with the sound design of the scene. I will just take any opertunity to do that. I did a deadcells video where I replaced every single sound, with a SSBM sound effect manually, for a joke that lasted 12 seconds. It took like 3-4 hours I just love making the noises go! It makes my brain go brrrr!

Grub Father was the first voice role I ever gave to Flashgen. An absolute shame I haven’t given him more. The dude will come up to be like “So I was thinking about what voice to give the character and I was thinking something like this? Is this good?” And it’ll be the perfect voice and exactly what I’m looking for. Dude never disappoints.

So Zote is very much a “So here’s the obvious bit, how do I make it a little better” kinda character. The obvious bit for zote is the one he is! He’s an obnoxious jackass who’se actually a poor lil meow meow that’s incapable of walking three steps without getting shit on. But will bullshit about being the best and better than you.” What if, instead of bring an asshole, he was passively condescending. What if he *acted* like he was hot shit. And what if he gave convincing performance? That’d almost make him more insufferable. And what if *even still* everyone could see right through him.

So the hornet fight was the first one of these I did. And it’s where I figured a looot of the groundwork for these. Basically I had to be way more dynamic with the camera, hide cuts so I could go forward and back in time, I muted the music and fought her without that, muted the voice sounds (This was a helova first fight because hornet sure does announce her attacks) and I needed to only go in and mute when she said something so you could still hear the attack noises. Then I realized I’d need to manually put in some of those sounds myself because it’s super noticeable when she does an attack and the SFX isn’t there. Whoo boy did this one teach me how to do a looooot of that stuff. And ultimately I’m surprised it came out as good as it did. Especially ‘cus I was on a time crunch with this one. Some of the cuts are a little awkward but still. Like, so much of the fundamentals I do when editing a fight scene I brute forced learning here I’m surprised it has the same flow as the rest of the fight scenes in these videos. Shocking to come back to this one and see how much *did* work.

So, first bit of lore building here. Hornet was a character I already had plans for. She was gonna be the star of the Silksong series. So I already had her pretty characterized as essentially a dumb nerd who didn’t have any friends, spent most of her time alone, talking to herself, and was hyperfocused on combat and combat history. And, thing is, I don’t know all that much about combat history, but I do know about film history! So I just kinda simplified it, replace some names with bug names and was like “Yeah that’s good.” And so that began. I’ve got a very Yes And theory about writing. I’ve always been hugely influenced by The Venture Brothers. The way a lot of that show goes is “Hey we invented this character as a funny joke background character in season two, now it’s season five and their tragic backstory is integral to the plot.” Retcons are boring. Take the thing that was true and make it true in whatever situation. There’s Do not change a character to suit the tone, leave them as they are and have the struggle with the tone. And for gods sake don’t flanderize them. A character grows every second their on screen, and sometimes they outgrow their joke. But it’s okay if they outgrow their joke, the new joke that they’ve grown into is *much funnier because it required that growth*!

And the fighting history stuff I’ll talk more about on episode three because that was then I actually solidified what the story was gonna be.

Also I might get into the dreamers a little bit more there too. But their characters stuck out there. The joke I set up about The Pale King being garbage at sex but that Herrah loved to brag about getting him in the sack is one I planned out *from* this episode. Finally got to see it pay off! Also speaking of Herrah, that was the first time I got Ponk in here! Always does a great job! Unfortunately, she used her Discord Mic here. This one wasn’t a situation where she didn’t have a good mic. She just forgot to use the good one and I completely forgot she is also really into audio stuff too and would jump at the chance to use her fancy stuff. She has been since!

And that’s episode 2!

#Hollow Knight #HKR-BTS #youtube #hornet #zote #content creation #behind the scenes #Youtube

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ells-18 · 1 year ago

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- the one where y/n confirms what the fans think -

SAVING GRACE. GEORGE CLARKEY.

“Welcome back to another episode of the Saving Grace podcast!” Grace exclaims. “Now today, we have a veryyy special guest..”

I laugh and the camera pans to me.

“It’s my best friend, y/nnnnn!” She claps.

“I’m glad you’ve finally asked me to be on this! Took you long enough, g” I chuckle while taking a sip of my drink.

“the people love you, what can I say” Grace says, crossing one leg over the other.

“So y/n” Grace clasps her hands together.

“Gracie” I respond.

“There’s been some interesting speculations about you online recently. Would you mind if we spoke about it?” She asked, smirking. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

I shake my head and chuckle. “Yes, we can speak about it”

Grace pulls out her phone and places glasses on her face. It made me laugh out loud, cackle even. She is so unintentionally hilarious.

“Oi! I’ll have you know I’m basically bastarding blind I can’t see!” She defends herself, scrolling through her phone.

“What are you even doing?” I ask.

“This” she turns her phone to face me, a specific photo was lighten up on her phone screen. On the podcast the photo will be blurred.

One of the cameramen played a dramatic sound effect that had me laughing again.

“Grace.. you already know about this!” I say referring to the photo.

“I think it’s time you tell the public?” She suggests.

“Is he here?” I mouth to Grace.

She nods, pointing her head towards HIM.

I catch his eyes and he grins, sending me a cute thumbs up.

George and I have actually been together for quite a few months, only close friends like Grace and Billy, Max, Andrew, Alex and Arthur etc know about us. We wanted to keep it from the public for a while as we wanted time to ourself. It’s been 7 months.. I think it’s time.

I look at Grace and nod. She squeals.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.. the first and probably couple reveal on Saving Grace is happening RIGHT NOW”

I laugh at her enthusiasm.

“Y/n babe this has got to be my favourite episode yet” Grace says with her thick accent.

“So guys.. should I introduce?” I ask no one in particular, hearing some cheers from some camera and audio equipment.

“I think it’s pretty obvious to be honest BUT lest welcome him” Grace states.

“Welcome to the Saving Grace podcast.. the one and only.. George Clarkey!” Grace exclaims, clapping her hands as he wants into frame.

I can’t help but cover my face hiding my blush.

He walks over to me, places his hands on my waist and lifts me up and sits down, placing my on his leg.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head on his. “Hello stranger”

He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. “Hello you”

“Why can’t Billy treat me like this! We are having words!!” Grace groans, taking a sip of her drink.

“Oi if George is allowed on the podcast why haven’t me and Andrew been called yet?!” Max walks into frame, wearing a Disney lanyard covered in pins. Also wearing a Disney t shirt and Sully (monsters inc) slippers.

I look down at George and he looks up to me, we burst out into laughter, leaning my forehead against his.

“Max what the fuck?” Grace snorts laugher, looking at her other friend who seems to have robbed a Disney store.

“What is it with max and Disney?” I laugh to myself.

“Sorry Grace.. he found a Disney store on the way here..” Andrew sighs. “What’s he like?” He laughs and we all join in.

“Well that’s it guys.. for a chaotic episode of Saving Grace. Congrats to my besties y/n and George for finally making it official meaning I can post all the embarrassing loving photos I’ve took of you both-“

“What?” George and I ask simultaneously, making max and Andrew laugh.

“If you’ve been listening, thank you so much and remember to like and share! Bye for now!”

“cut!”

“Well that was chaotic” I say, and everyone nods in agreement.

“Fancy a drink?” I ask my friends.. and boyfriend.

Max automatically struts to me, pulling me away from George’s lap.

“Hey!” George complains.

“Lets get ready” he turns to Grace grabbing her hand. “Let’s look sexyyy for our men” he whispers.

A night out in London with my favourite people. How could I say no?

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animasola86 · 1 year ago

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Voice Appreciation Post

I’ve always loved certain voices. Mostly male voices of a certain timbre, I cannot explain their sound exactly, but when I hear these voices, it does something to me, not necessarily in a romantic/sexual way, mind you. I just enjoy them, very much. They are soothing and relaxing and I could listen to these voices forever. They could say the dumbest or most mundane things, but I would still listen to the sound of them.

And it doesn’t even matter what language they are speaking. I’m German, so my first “voice crush” (if you want to call it that) was a popular voice actor we have here (you see, most/all of foreign movies and shows and video games are being dubbed here and that in a very high quality kind of way), who voiced the German version of Ezio Auditore from Assassin’s Creed II or Geralt of Rivia in the Witcher games, etc. (making these characters my all-time favorite videogame characters, btw).

I also enjoy listening to Japanese seiju - which makes it hard sometimes to read the subtitles of my favorite anime/drama, as I only listen (without understanding much) and enjoy. I don’t know what it is about Japanese men, but most of them just sound so good to me.

As for my newest (or oldest) love and obsession and why I’m writing this post to begin with: I also have a knack for British guys. It’s the accent (I’m not an expert on British accents so I couldn’t tell you which dialect it is or from where it hails, except maybe the Scottish accent, but that’s a no-brainer and also a favorite of mine). So I’ve had my voice crushes on, let’s say, Giles from Buffy, or Mr. Sheffield from The Nanny. (Or maybe I always liked older men too? Hmm.)

This also explains my deep obsession with Chamber of Secrets’ Tom Riddle played by Christian Coulson, whose voice is just, so, ugh. (Highly recommend any audio books he has narrated!) I can’t explain it. It just does things to me.

And the same happened when I played Hogwarts Legacy. I became totally obsessed by one particular voice and you might have guessed from the tags. Sebastian Sallow is not only the best character of the whole game, because he is so versatile and conflicted and adorable and whatnot, but his voice... the way his voice actor (Alfie Nugent, you are my absolute hero, btw!) says things, how his voice just vibrates through me, so low at times, the perfect timbre, no matter what situation Sebastian finds himself in, cheeky, flirty, worried, sad, it always sounds so mind-bogglingly good to me.

I find myself listening to his voice lines over and over again (thank you YouTube) and it helps me so much in writing my fanfiction. I love his voice, really, truly love his voice, it gives me all the good vibes love would do (in a completely platonic kind of way). And it’s just a voice.

Now, speaking about voices, I have to address the AI issue. Is it an issue? Well, I do feel bad for voice actors whose voices are (ab)used without their consent, but from a fan perspective it is the best thing that ever happened to this world. (That took a turn, eh?) Having all these creative people of the Hogwarts Legacy fandom create their own voice lines for Sebastian (and other charaters for that matter) is truly such a blessing. Every day I find more and they are all so good and authentic and the way an AI program can mimic these perfect voices is just beyond me.

So thank you, lovely people who have perfected ElevenLabs, and thank you to the original voice actors for providing those voices in the first place. I salute you all. I thank your voices for keeping me sane in these troubling times we live in.

#voice appreciation #voice actors #attracted to voices #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #alfie nugent #elevenlabs #ai voices #voice obsession #wall of text #just me rambling about voices

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bringmefoxgloves · 1 year ago

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i am now actually sitting down and listening to the downward spiral in full tonight (surprising i haven't) cause i'm in a music mood. so witness my live track by track filled with a lot of imagery. that's just how my mind works. okay here we go:

damn. mr. self destruct already has my entire attention and has me by the throat. the electric guitar breakdown at the end...... just jfc that song feels like my heart is a misshapen record with scratches and it's being played with an icepick.

piggy makes me feel like i'm in the middle of the summer and walking through one of those massive drainage pipes until about minute two. and then a summer storm rolls in and i'm about to drown. and listening to trent reznor inhale in the play out is doing something to me.

heresy HOLY SHIT feels like i'm driving at night in a car that has a conversation in the front that you really want to hear but the bass boosted speakers against your back are rattling your teeth in your head so hard you can't hear anything but your bones clicking. but then you're in a car crash. also the lyrics are so wes-core i feel like this is just my brain draining out of my ears after said car crash.

march of the pigs is like you're playing a mario or sonic level from hell in the middle of a berlin nightclub while on a mixture of drugs that will have you raving for weeks. i fucking love it. the switch that feels as sudden as a tapedeck clicking on the lyrics of 'now doesn't it make you feel better?' with the piano.... if there is a way to make audio moments physical so i could fit them inside my mouth and chew? yes, that is one i would like to have.

closer.... need I say more. this is one i have heard before (you would have to be dead to not have heard closer) but now that it's in the atmosphere of the entirety of the downward spiral, it's only better. yes i want you to fuck me like an animal mr reznor. this lava lamp type of electric sound & marriage of bass is a physical presence and it is perhaps fucking me.

that transition into ruiner WAS CLEAN!!! i feel like i'm in the middle of a mosh pit that is somehow in like. idk dracula's castle. that entire section (you know the one in this) is indeed a dick metaphor. and then when the tortured guitar that sounds like it’s about to snap every one of its strings played by a resurrected jimi hendrix that really hates you in particular comes in it just is. so much. hearing the wetness of reznor's mouth as he breathes in and out is.... i shan't say.

oh WOW that cut off from ruiner to the becoming had me pausing and going wait. that's insane. anyways the becoming. teheheh i beat my machine. ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. i'm in the middle of the nightclub featured in the collection (2012). and i'm absolutely jamming to the screams while reznor's voice is carrying me by puppet strings. the switchup after the line 'but it's all clear' feels like i'm now on the floor slowly bleeding out, and then i'm being torn apart by dogs. goddamn this noise inside my head, indeed.

i do not wait this, but yes, yes, i really do want this. please keep speaking directly into my head yes. the music is scratching an itch i didn’t know i had. the entire last minute of the lyrics is #mood. hearing trent pronouncing 'fuck' in that way makes you think about the meaning of the word.

ooooo funky noise and drumbeat that has me immediately bouncing my leg. yessss big man with a gun. this is pure machismo and makes a gun the tool of sex. (meme voice) oh wow.

a warm place. just. is me floating facedown in a saltwater pool filled with water from the dead sea. i feel so cradled and light. glorious. completely immersed in this instrumental like few instrumentals ever make me.

eraser at the beginning makes me think i'm driving through some godforsaken part of the american west and the radio is on and the people in the car are making funny noises over the radio static. then that drum kicks in and the bass layers like i'm about to enter a boss battle. it's a cobra with those cartoon eyes that are swirls and it wants me to kiss it. then it all snaps apart for trent to swoop in riding a hurricane screaming: kill me.

reptile, the start has me thinking i'm back in the backroom of an empty grocery store trying to sneak away from a killer. the sudden smash in at the one minute mark is me hitting the ground. dead. the rest of the song i feel like i'm overhearing sex between an angel and a devil while i'm tied like a dog on the floor at the end of the bed.

the title track!!! the downward spiral at the start of it has me feeling like a fly buzzing against a broken glass window after escaping a dish of honey, too drunk to find my way out from the gap directly in front of me. once trent's voice comes in, with those screams in the background.... i feel like he's leaning into my ear and confessing to this in a darken movie theater watching a goresplattering flick.

and goddamn. hurt. i had heard the johnny cash cover of this before i ever heard this one, and then i listened to the original shortly after and it's the only other song i've heard before (closer was the other). but once again, with it in context of this album..... it feels like a baptism in wine you're not quite sure isn't just blood that trent reznor poured out for you from his own wrists. just. goddamn. godamn. it sounds like he has salvation right in his trembling hands and is asking you to take its heavy burden from him, please, but instead it’s a knife he guts you like a fish with, and you still say thank you.

conclusion: if i had heard this album in middle or high school i would have become a very different person i think. i might have burned down the catholic church i grew up in. i might have had sex even. that's how powerful and solid and sensual this album is. it has its reputation for a reason, and i can't believe i hadn't heard this album in full before this. but i have now. also robin finck i need your gender NOW

#nine inch nails #this is so fucking long but hagdjksfgdsaj i wanted to document my reactions and emotional imagery i feel on listening to this #this is also filled with references that only make sense to my personal lexicon of sense memories #sorry for the long post on your dash tonight oops

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zhongrin · 1 year ago

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I also realized with your gif post. One more question, if you don't mind.

Can you walk through how you decide to choose what particular puzzles to use to drop hints, and what goes into making them?

You mentioned using that drawing of the earring to hint at the fact that Childe was trying to bring back Meirin's memories, the gif of the tumblr poll and your programming skills to hint at the truth, Ciphers, Hidden Links, etc.

I like puzzles and figuring stuff like that, so I wanted to know what your thought process was.

(Also at this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if you end up trying to do stuff like audio ciphers via Vocaroo or Musical Cryptography into your puzzles at some point.)

[ p1 ◆ p2 ◆ p3 ◆ p4 ]

oh boy…. honest to god, 90% of them are just me winging it hahahah but sure, i can elaborate more >:3

for the earrings, it was something that came naturally for me because zhongli → gems → jewelry, and when i was looking up references for childe to draw, i was reminded of the fact that he wears one earring on the side… so my brain made the connection and i thought “ok i can bait people with this”.

for the tumblr polls, oooh i want to talk about this, yes!!! you know those cyoa stories in tumblr made by the polls? i’ve always kinda wanted to use them as a medium to something.

so the first 4 days, i used them to gauge how people perceived coviello ー did i make them too tame? too wild? too sus? and i’m so pleased to see how the ratio keep dropping — because it means i’m on the right track.

i also purposely made the polls identical, so people will get used to the routine… and then came day 5. the two ‘good’s. just a little change. just a tiny teeny change that will make people think ‘eh?’ lol

and it just starts escalating from there.

by day 6, i knew people should have kind of connected the clues together and/or they needed the confirmation to their theories, plus they know that coviello has hijacked the polls, hence it’s basically just shoving you one of the biggest hints on your face.

and then day 7 comes (which, by the way, is somehow still gaining notes?? guys?? why???). at first it was supposed to be just a static image, but i woke up the day before it was due to release and went ‘wait. i can bamboozle them more.’ and…. that happened. lol

ciphers were a throwback from last ebg and i did wanted to bring them back, but not too much. so i just picked two simple ciphers and slapped them on the two hints ー nothing much to say there.

as for the hidden link, it’s also something i brought back from the last ebg (i put a link on an underscore and on albedo’s introduction post) but i made it a little more obvious this time.... but maybe it’s still too vague cause i don’t think anyone noticed until i pointed it out hahahah in any case, it is kinda hard to spot so i didn't place a very important hint there.

hsjdjskdjls i’ve never actually delved into audio ciphers. sounds interesting though. i shall note it down. thank you for the idea >:)

#rin answers #rin is having tea with: anon 💟#rin draws

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dead-set-goat · 11 months ago

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Although spotify does it for you, i think it’s better to make your own music-year-review list. I want to share a few songs (and maybe a few words about them too) that have inspired, helped, impressed or spoke to me. This is also a very light personal year-review.

No particular order!

Every Day is Halloween by Ministry

Obviously, listened to this constantly in October but really works any day of the year, the message gets me going. Moving away from my parents and my hometown that very October, I felt free as all hell, free to be who I want to be, dress how I want to dress (or at least try!), it makes me want to fight for my skin :

I exclusively listen to music from an MP3 player when I’m out, fuck smartphones :))))))))), so the story of this: downloaded this whole album to my MP3 player for my trip to Greece this summer because I’d be out a lot, was just curious about ska punk, never listened to it before. And yeah, I fell in love with this, and Capdown. I listen to this when I’m on a rush always, gets me flying! (Yeah, nothing beats running and panicking about being late to an appointment to this)

Can’t recommend Swans early stuff enough! And the new stuff as well. Could swap this for Power for Power on Filth as well. Really good mechanic beats and cold lyrics, walking through a city as lively as it is decayed to this feels just right. A great inspiration for what I’d like to achieve with my music.

I quite enjoy (love with a burning passion) this album for the most part, I don’t listen to drum n’ bass on it’s own but, the metal combo to me hits just perfect. I think this song has the perfect amount of agression, melancholy, explosive distortion, and the best whiney guitar ever! I swear I can hear words of lament in that guitars voice… it’s awesome. It’s a very good song to drown out the noise of the Subway…

This album as a whole. My anxieties and anticipations for the future, my nostalgia and existential terror, agitated into soundwaves. Listening to this, on a suffocating late August afternoon while driving, feels like a thousand spent lifetimes.

I listened to this on easily one of the most emotionally charged days of my life. I was on a car trip across the country, it really hits different with neverending crop fields and rural sights and abandoned factories… For more context about the song, it’s a mockery of the former communist regime, the singer is posing as the dictator, singing about a carefree land preparing for winter, in which “everything is wonderful” and “perfect”.

This is a commuting staple. An industrial rock banger! I think the sound is easy to get into, good for guitars, good for the dance floors, a perfect combo. A fair bit of Machines of Loving Grace songs hooked me instantly.

Absolute dance staple. Strapped it to a wall in the hall of dancing-with-your-last-breath.

I had a panic attack while driving to this, on a bridge. That was an exciting time. I was going to the beach. In the winter. All the vibes were off that day, but in the best way possible. And this song took them all, it’s preserving them like alcohol. Oh also, saw a guy at the gym near my house that had a HEALTH tshirt and I was like, yoo, cool! Because really, rarely do you see people with taste here hah.

One of my industrial fascinations. Not exactly the eye opener (I’ll have that guy show up later), but my, sound has never felt so powerful and it’s not even booming-lound. I highly suggest listening this surround, but even stereo, it’s such a disorienting, enveloping experience.

OH SHIT. Audio limit for this post???

Look out for part 2

#Spotify #SoundCloud #music #industrial music #ministry #year review #🦞chat #godflesh #david bowie #coil #machines of loving grace #tackhead #health band #swans #timpuri noi #capdown

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galacticlamps · 2 years ago

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There's something I've almost made a number of posts about during this Abominable Snowmen rewatch, but kept putting it off because I wanted to make a more cohesive analysis of rather than a bunch of messily related thoughts, but naturally now that I've finished it, it's become pretty long, so I'm putting it under a read more.

Basically, this is mainly about how the monastery setting functions to influence the audience's perception of the other characters & threats in this story, and helps turn it into what I believe to be a really well-executed and criminally underrated serial

To start with the elephant in the room: the monastery is obviously a somewhat exotic location for a Doctor Who serial. It's Earth, but it's far away from the BBC's production & main audience, and between its geographic isolation and religious associations, inherently somewhat shrouded in mystery. It's also the past, though I think it's somewhat easy to forget that this is a historical sometimes, both because it's not that far back in history compared to when it was produced & because of the aforementioned reasons that already distance it to equal or greater extents.

At first glance, the 'audience surrogate' characters would seem both obvious and limited. The Doctor & co are the first candidates - but with this particular team in which 0 of them come from an Earth contemporary with either the production or setting of the story, they're hardly everyman characters here; they can hook us into being visitors to this place but not provide us with a perspective on what life in it is like or should be outside of the strange circumstances that follow them everywhere. Then there's Travers, who's both an Englishman and a native of the time period, even if he’s very much a stranger to the region – and in many ways, he would seem best placed to act as an English audience’s window into the setting, the ‘regular guy’ whose world will be upset by the villain and restored by the Doctor.

But intentionally or not, I don’t think Travers actually fills that role in the story very well at all, and what happens instead is infinitely more interesting and makes for a better story overall.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here, for now my point is just that despite all odds & appearances of the monastery being this mystical otherworldly setting that Englishmen traverse continents and mountains or time and space to get to, it’s an exceptionally grounded and lived-in setting that the audience can quickly acclimatize to, which only adds to the fear & tragedy later on in the serial when it’s endangered.

This probably sounds silly, but much like it’s a bit hard to believe the bridge of the Enterprise is actually rattling around in space in the original series of Star Trek, Det-Sen monastery feels overwhelmingly solid, stationary, grounded, & enclosed. I don’t know what it is that breaks the illusion that the void of space is on the other side of those walls or that the courtyard & gates are at least partially exposed to the elements of the Himalayas, but the concrete floors under the carpet and the studio ceiling above seem to have an almost physical presence in these sets that’s hard to overlook. Maybe it’s because we have so much location footage to compare it to in this serial so we know what it looks like when they’re actually on the mountainside, slipping over uneven terrain and shouting over the wind that’s blowing their hair & costumes around at random, or simply a case of visual distinction between the quality of the film they used for those shoots vs the studio recording process. It might even be something about the reverb inherent in the room and the way it affects the audio, or something else entirely – I don’t know. I’ve never tried to put my finger on why exactly, but in both cases I’ve always felt a particularly strong awareness that these are sets - built environments safely sheltered inside a sound stage, pretending to be more fragile than they are. And I don’t mean this as an insult – I think it lends the original Enterprise a sense of homeyness that’s appropriate for its status as a constant, not to mention the nostalgia - much like the Tardis, I don’t think it’d do for them to feel flimsy, even if stories occasionally ask us to believe these environments are in a precarious state.

But Det-Sen is a one-off location, so its underlying feeling of stability affects the narrative in other ways, and this stark and immediate physical difference between the indoor environment and the danger of the mountains that are supposedly right on the other side of those gates makes it a perfect base for a base under siege story. The further away that cave in the mountains feels, the safer the characters are inside – and the harder that it is to believe anything could breach the gates and disturb the implausible peace here, the more effective & disturbing it is when they do.

Of course, it isn’t the physical set alone that’s responsible for this dichotomy – the narrative & its characters also present the monastery as such a strong constant that when the Great Intelligence threatens to destroy it and the world, the two feel almost one and the same.

Far from just being the background this story takes place against, the serial is overwhelmingly populated by characters that sell us on the idea of Det-Sen’s importance and stability even further - not only do the monks outnumber the visitors in terms of named characters, but there are also 6 nonspeaking warrior monks and an additional 6 nonspeaking lamas - all in all, about 20 different people living & working there that really flesh it out as a location. We're even told the Doctor's been here before, centuries ago - they have a very established way of life.

By contrast, the Tardis team blunders in and, as usual, can give no account of where they've been or how they got there - and then of course, there's Travers.

I can’t honestly tell how much of what really works about his character is fully intentional - it would take a certain level of self-awareness from the BBC that I don't want to attribute without some evidence. But at the end of the day, he's an Englishman and an explorer – the kind of guy we’d expect to represent intelligence and progress - and yet his entire life's work, the quest he's already spent 20 years of his life on, (which fans of Web know he'll spend even more on in the future), which has killed his companion already and which he willingly risks his own life for time and again in this serial - is, at bottom, incredibly stupid: he wants to be credited with the discovery of an animal the locals have been fully aware of for centuries.

When the monks talk about the yeti, they do so with calmness, certainty, and authority. They know what they're talking about. The yeti have always been their neighbors, and they're a peaceful, reclusive species. And yes, this is one remote monastery in one remote corner of the globe - perhaps these monks are the only people who regularly see the yeti or believe in them at all (ignoring the pilgrims that are supposed to've been visiting here for centuries), and perhaps Travers as a scientist simply wants to broaden the world's knowledge. But if the way he treats the Doctor when he suspects him to be a member of the British press is anything to go by, it's a bit more than that. He needs to be the one to break the news - and maybe it wasn't always like that, maybe he only became so interested in the credit after the search for them cost him so much – but whatever the cause, by the time we encounter the character, he’s desperate & single-minded enough that common sense can go out the window when it suits him. He doesn't even seem particularly devastated when they find out the evil Yeti are robots - he worries about them potentially endangering the real animals, but the fact that the existence of robotic yeti obviously implies a person or people with enough resources & skills to create something like that who is also acutely aware of the real species they're presumably meant to blend in with doesn't phase him at all, or compromise his need & ability to be the one to 'discover' them.

To be clear, I’m not trying to paint him as a bad person – if anything I think he’s a compelling & convincingly-drawn character, and within the story he frequently does the right thing to help defeat the enemy and save the day. I just find it interesting how his obsession with the Yeti & the leaps in logic it causes him to make prevent him from being the relatable character the audience shares the perspective of, where he otherwise might’ve been by default as the only Englishman - and in that regard he contributes to bolstering up the monks & the monastery as forces of sanity and cohesion. He is, like them, a mere victim of the Great Intelligence, but his presence at Det-Sen still feels like a symptom of a world turned upside down.

On the whole the monks get along fine with Travers, and evidently understand that in his world of Western British science, the yeti are still a “discovery” to be made which their familiarity with the species does not factor into or impede. Whatever fame & significance the discovery would bring him are indeed real prizes within his reach, so he isn’t inherently suspicious or looked down upon for wanting them - but they're also still a ludicrous thing to prioritize, given the circumstances, and the monks can see that, not being worried about proving anything to anyone themselves.

Still w/regard to Travers’ character, neither they nor anyone from the Tardis ever points out this fallacy, so it's hard to tell if it's a case of the producers & writers not noticing how foolish, colonial & hypocritical this goal under these circumstances is, or if it's meant to read as absurdly as it does. But with the monastery & its monks having such a huge presence in this story & being such a large portion of its screen time, that contrast in perspectives is brought to the forefront, whether or not anyone meant to satirize British exploration as a whole.

Nonetheless, Travers is the portrait of western exploration - even the more respectable & noble kind, in the name of knowledge & science rather than power & conquest - and yet his quest exists at such a ridiculous extreme, it takes a toll on the credibility of both him & everything he stands for. By being deadly serious about such a redundant goal, Travers marks himself out - and by extension, these three other apparently British strangers - as belonging to a bizarre world that adheres to senseless values and priorities, which drive him (and perhaps them as well, for all the monks know) to wild extremes, and it's difficult to see Travers as anything more than a bit of a lunatic, an eccentric Englishman and a nuisance of a foreigner here – at least for as long as he’s preoccupied with accusing the Doctor of murdering his partner and dragging the monks into his personal agenda. From this perspective the monks have every right to be suspicious of him and the Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria, even if the only thing they know about them is that they come from a world whose rules make no sense, who would send a man out to die in the mountains on the other side of the globe before it would recognize what to them is a simple fact of nature.

Khrisong in particular comes out as a very strong character, especially in comparison to Travers. Although we first meet him in a more antagonistic context – his introduction might even potentially leave us thinking of him as the dangerous warrior following Travers’ command rather than thinking for himself – the story is quick to correct that belief & makes it clear that he has his reasons for what he does, not just in that instant but all the time. He turns out to be an extremely principled individual who puts a lot of thought into both the risks he takes & the ones he allows others to take, and here he’s literally trying to protect a monastery full of peaceful monks when some of the strangest foreign white men the world could produce show up on his doorstep talking madness that doesn't concern him or his men at all, and they're followed by a horde of murderous robots framing the local wildlife for their crimes. For arguably being the villain for the first 1/3 of the story, he's objectively a very sympathetic figure.

Of course, it’s not at all uncommon to find characters similar in that regard - especially in these longer base under siege stories with limited casts, where part of the mystery is preventing the Doctor from knowing who the true villains are. But although Khrisong is developed as a character who's both proud and strong willed, he's also more than capable of admitting his mistakes and sticking to his principles at the same time - and even though the Second Doctor himself is particularly good at unnerving and undermining authority figures, Khrisong is willing to work with him to an impressive & perhaps unprecedented degree. Where a more stock character might bear a grudge for being made to look rash or unhelpful, Khrisong is consistently both a strong leader and a good man - he risks his life to save everyone, he deliberates and takes the best course of action he can find in every scene. More than a lot of other characters in this era of the show, he gives us the impression of someone who's in control and authority without being a bully, who's open to listening to the Doctor's frankly ridiculous ideas but who will also put himself at risk before allowing others to do the same if he doubts the merits of what he’s heard. He's a complex and even surprisingly engaging character who we might first have dismissed as a basic security guard type - and his death in the last act a genuine tragedy, and deservedly treated as such.

((Even the question of pacifism vs self defense which the same writers will revisit more famously in The Dominators first pops up here, most obviously in dialogue between Khrisong and Songsten in Episode 3, but also more generally in his ongoing goal of protecting the monastery’s existence. Songsten argues that the monks are peaceful and cannot change their ways, while Khrisong points out that he only wishes to use his strength to defend and preserve the ways of the monks, even at the cost of his own life, because peace and gentleness are not applicable methods against the yeti. It's interesting that this dialogue is delivered over the body of the inert, robot yeti recently after they've been discovered not to be flesh & blood – the context seems to eliminate any possibility of this reading as the dehumanizing argument of a man predisposed to violence anyway and simply trying to justify it, but rather solidifies it as the good sense of someone who would not resort to it if he had any other options))

Travers is typically the only supporting character who gets much attention when we talk about this serial, because of his return a few stories later & the significance that lands him in the wider world of Doctor Who, but in this story itself, everything absurd and dangerous about him is balanced out and grounded by everything serious and sane about Khrisong. But whereas Travers mainly looks delegitimized in comparison with the monastery, the monks don’t need to rely on contrast to make them look better – their own approach to problem-solving & protecting the monastery is time and again reinforced by the serial in other ways.

When Sapan & Rinchen in episode 3 both set up a spirit trap & chain down the inert yeti to prevent it coming back to life & attacking them, and they discuss how odd the strangers are and come up with their own explanation for the metal underneath its skin, it could easily have felt like the kind of scene that, in a scifi show, we should chuckle at and dismiss because we know they're wrong (even if we don't blame them for not knowing they're characters in a scifi show). But the way it’s framed, it's actually quite convincing instead. We know the yeti isn't a devil, but their explanation checks out, the Doctor is inherently inexplicable as a character, Travers is both currently under suspicion & consumed by – if not incomprehensible - at least unjustifiable motives from the monks' perspective, and at the end of the day, is the Great Intelligence really any different than a devilish spirit possessing the yeti? To say nothing of the fact that Padmasambhava is said to've initially contacted the Great Intelligence on the astral plane, or that chanting their prayers is treated as a legitimate way to occupy the mind and defend it against psychic attacks - all in all, despite this being a serial that is set in the past & in a monastery so remote that parts of its everyday life would be canonically regarded as landmark scientific discoveries in Britain, the perspective of these monks feels incredibly grounded, and forms a sound and stable background against which the fantastic elements of this serial can occur in their full horror, rather than something the British futuristic audience (who also know what genre they're watching) can 'know better' than.

And from a storytelling perspective, this doesn't just make the setting of the monastery come alive in a more convincing portrait than many other locations, it also makes the already very disturbing details of this particularly eldritch story cut even deeper. The repeated possessions, the monks being forced out of the monastery into the night, Khrisong murdered by his own Abbot, who is himself in a trance, Padmasambhava begging to be set free after hundreds of years as the Great Intelligence's slave (his death which was not shot as scripted, for fear of being too gruesome for the children's tv rating, the repeated stage directions calling for blood on people's faces or weapons) - it's honestly really heartbreaking, and a very good story.

But crucially, there's also kindness and gentleness here too - not just in the monks as men of peace or even the fact that the head of their warrior branch defies stereotypes to agree with them rather than being a violent individual - but also in the humanity with which all the characters respond to what they have to deal with: the Doctor appealing to Padmasambhava repeatedly as an old friend, the reassurances of safety and return he gives to the monks as they leave, the way the plans for Rinchen's body are discussed rather than brushed aside like many side-characters’ deaths in other serials, the way Songsten is looked after when he comes out of his trance, despite the monks knowing he had killed Khrisong. People in this story are allowed to be driven to extremes by everything from fear to stress to greed to hope and curiosity - but nobody ever abandons humanity entirely. They can accuse each other of all sorts of things, fairly or not, but in the end there’s understanding and forgiveness among the human characters (+the Doctor) and people are generally looked after and cared for rather than blamed and abandoned.

It's that sympathy and humanity that contrasts so beautifully with the truly otherworldly threat this serial introduces. Our characters are small, many of them are referred to as being mere puppets of a villain who literally moves his robotic henchmen around on a chessboard version of their world. But they're weak because they're human (in the broad sense at least) and it's that humanity that allows all of them to fight the Intelligence in one form or another, and the fact that that's what the Intelligence has to fight against which makes it such a disturbing enemy.

#the abominable snowmen #second doctor era #uh let's see #this is mainly about den-sen as a location #edward travers as an odd but very british character #khrisong as a surprisingly complex & strong character #(as far as authority figures who start off at odds w/ the dr go)#and i suppose a bit about the great intelligence as a concept for an enemy #sorry this got extremely rambly #im mainly posting it for myself so i can stumble upon it the next time im rotating snowmen #i feel like there's so much to talk about this serial but it's not one of the most discussed ones?#and my brain's a little spent rn to make this sound better but i still wanted to get it out

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