#but I’ll be steering clear of some spaces to give other people space to disagree

[palavapeite]

Ha! Turns out I was wrong. 🥹

But what a finale.

[lavenderfeminist]

how do i go about peaking my gf?

I would like to disclaim that as unfortunate and painful as it can be, there’s no guarantee that your girlfriend will peak. My ex girlfriend seemed fairly receptive to what I was saying, but she wasn’t willing to think about it on her own or let go of her non-binary identity. Granted, things she said make me think she was bisexual, and as sad as it is, exclusive same-sex attraction seems to make it easier for people to see through the bullshit, because our own minds can’t ignore someone’s sex the way a bi person’s might find it irrelevant. You can do your best to give her a space to talk about “controversial” topics so she knows she has nothing to fear when she questions things, but only she can do that questioning.

That said, start small. Lia Thomas is a big deal right now, and even most “normie” women have something to say about it. Ask for her thoughts about it, and explain your own in concrete terms. Maybe try sharing that you’ve become concerned by some stories you’ve seen from other lesbians/bi women. Try to steer clear of big-budget terms that might freak her out, like straight up saying “trans women are men” or “gender ideology”. It’s very possible these are topics she’s already put thought into but is afraid to share. I was in that boat for a very long time, and while I ultimately peaked on my own, I would have given anything to have my girlfriend let me know I wasn’t alone with the concerns I had. Women are very used to ignoring our concerns. We’re trained to do the “right” thing, the “nice” thing. It’s very difficult to encounter the reality of gender ideology without at least a little cognitive dissonance being triggered, but we’re trained to push it down. If she’s had questions, you’re not going to scare her away by making it clear you’re someone she can talk to, whether she agrees or disagrees with you, or you with her.

If she’s heavily involved in gendie spaces, or trans-IDed, I would prepare yourself for pushback. The most important thing to remind yourself is that a relationship with someone who continues to buy into the homophobic and misogynistic narrative that is gender identity just isn’t someone you’re going to be compatible with in the long-term. It’s not your job to save her from herself. I know that’s harsh, but it’s something I had to come to terms with with my ex. I’m sorry I haven’t given a lot of specifics, but in my experience the people who peak are going to be receptive to listening and you’re not going to scare them away by asking them to explain their views, either. You can provide someone a space to peak, and give them access to information that contradicts the current narrative. But you can’t peak them. They have to do that. Good luck, and if you want to talk more about specifics or how it goes, I’ll still be here <3

[trashboatdax]

King Falls AM was one of my favorite podcasts of all time. There's a lot of ways I still think it's very good! There's still a lot to enjoy about it. There's ways the show can improve.

However.

I am very uncomfortable with the way that the KFAM creators seem bent lately on doing some of the absolute worst things they could do while running a podcast.

1. Blaming WTNV and other podcasts for "copying them" (Yes I saw Cecil's post and I firmly believe he was talking tounge-in-cheek, they just seemed to think it was a) directed at them b) took it way too personally) Also, you're not the only ones allowed to do a musical episode, guys

2. Making false accusations of DEATH THREATS (like Jesus you guys come on)

3. Refusing to listen to criticism to the point of blocking/unfollowing accounts, steering clear of Tumblr entirely

4. The huge hiatuses. I mean, obviously due to the pandemic I think they're well within their rights to take a while. But even before this hit, their hiatuses last for 8 months-1 year at a time. When you're dealing with a plot that has remained unresolved since the start of the show (and involves queer characters suffering while your straight characters plot is resolved, more on that below) that's not a great time frame, especially compared to other podcasts - which you guys love to do in every way but this one.

5. The uncomfortable racism/sexism/homophobia that they just cannot seem to acknowledge or change. Skinwalkers and non-native VAs voicing native characters is offensive. Having a "Racist Witch" character feels like it's just an excuse to say racist stuff on air and have people get mad because "you can't say that!" Treating all of their female characters as either sweet and kind 100% of the time (Emily) or constantly complaining and being a pain (Lily) to show the "difference" between them. It really feels like they're trying to make one look a lot "better" than the other, and having the lesbian be the "unpleasant" one isn't a great look.

And now we get to a bunch of mishandling when it comes to queer representation. Sammy is a queer main character, but it took them literally 60+ episodes to get them to acknowledge that at all. Archie and Ron were the other queer characters, and I'll be honest here, Archie's character has always made me super uncomfortable? He's literally a complete stereotype in a way that makes me feel he was invented just for the purpose of being a gay stereotype. And while I feel Ron is a better character, he's the stereotype on the other end of the coin, the "manly gay". It feels like they really wanted to have it both ways, and both aren't a good look. Also, I have never liked Jacob Williams as a character because the "depraved bisexual" stereotype is OLD and not at all accurate. Having a hillbilly pervert isn't the source of comedy they seem to think it is.

Not to mention how this show really seems to be advancing the plot when it comes to all the straight characters and not when it comes to the gay ones? Ben and Emily's plot lasted from Episode 2 to Episode 75 with barely a gap. It took up most of the space in the show. It is literally Episode 100 and we have had to wait through 2 hiatuses without any kind of progress in reuniting Jack with Sammy and Lily. It feels like they're using Jack as their method for drama after Ben and Emily finally got their shit together, and now they're going to drag that out as long as humanly possible so they don't have to actually write what happens once he's finally been rescued. Lily's pain at losing her brother is treated as very insignificant, like she's just being a bitch for no reason. Even Sammy is allowed to be as petty as he wants, but she's treated terribly for doing the same thing. Like a lot of other people have said, I'm really scared that it's literally not going to be until the finale or it's going to wind up with one of the gay characters dead. I'm going to be very upset and angry if that happens.

Also in the vein of Sammy, it seems like they give all the credit to Ben for making it so they can all be a family and know what it is to love, like Sammy and Lily's past with Jack just never existed?? Families who have a falling out don't just forget what that kind of thing meant, guys, and they don’t need a straight person who really didn't do much of anything to get the credit for that!

Last thing because it's something that bothers me personally and I know others have disagreed on this: as a non-binary person, it's nice that they tried to include the "and non-binary pals" line, but it would be really nice if they could, y'know, actually have a NB character on the show? It feels like they're trying to get points for something they're not actually doing.

So that's most of everything that's been bothering me. The creator's actions when it comes to all of this make me worried for the future of the show, and how they're actually going to continue once they get around to it. I'm worried it's going to be a lot of excuses and taking potshots at the fans and basically sidestepping everything in the name of "being positive" and I'll be really upset if that happens. Your fans are why the show got big, and while creators really don't owe the fans anything, if you're trying to use the backs of queer fans to advance your show, you at least owe it to them to listen if they say you're stepping on them too hard.

[nonatowers]

good evening my precious peeps. tis i, rosie, rising from the grave in these crazy times to check up if y’all are still holding up? good work, go fetch yourselves some motivational cookies, it’s been long 12 months for us. 

so while lazily scrolling the tags again, i didn’t see much new stuff except the same old things (which, tbh, is what my anxiety needs rn so thanks). yet this is not what i am up to talk about again so let’s cut to the chase:

my personal input to the whole “s 3 is total trash“ debate. 

first of all, as long as people don’t bother each other about their preferences, i couldn’t care less.

people are entitled to their own opinions and it’s fine like that. that’s how discussions are made and encourage us to share more ideas and dwell deeper into matters. however, some of my friends that recently watched psycho pass (because I need more people to talk about it and convinced them to giving it a try. though I had them all skip s2 out of worry to loose them there ahah) have kept asking me in regards of the commonly used argument against s3, namely being the lack of literary input. and as a local lit/phil major, this is up my alley to answer I suppose? i’ll try to keep it short and watered down.

it has to be made very clear that season 3 is a whole lot more political in its core themes, which is a major motif in all things cyberpunk. futuristic utopias/dystopias always have a heavy correlation with the political doings of past and present, and while we know painfully little about the past (leading up to sybil’s establishment, more precisely) we have been given insights about the present - namely an ex-idol with extremely questionable traits being voted for governor, despite publicly being outed for just a face behind an AI that does all the talking. basically, it’s gone to hell. we been knew. (don’t even ask how my political science friend felt about it, she can write a 90 page essay about what political trash fire is about to break loose). so, whether it was s3 or not, sooner of later the psycho pass world had to talk about the politics of their world- japan isn’t just made out existential crisis and talking weapons, after all. 

i do not know how many active readers in terms of philosophy are in this fandom, but as a major in it, i should tell you guys that the most likely reason as to why there apparently isn’t much philosophy going around in s3 is because of those very politics. political philosophy is a big topic in general, but in s3 the aspect of artificial intelligence is added into the mix and as of now, there isn’t that many reliable texts, dare I say?, in the regards of AI in politics, from a philosophic point of view. at least as of now. the discussion itself has started and is ongoing, and a few publications have been made already (i personally only know of the german ones, feel free to share whatever international texts you guys have your hands on), however, if we look at it historically and consider that AI hasn’t been taken that serious until a decade and a little more ago (around the time siri and co became a daily thing) we might have to wait a little longer for more publications to pop up. majority of what is out right now is hypothetical talks from several years ago, which isn’t up-to-date in most cases and hence kinda hard to use for a fictional society in 2120. and if you read through the more timeless ones, you’ll realise that a good portion of what those publications talked about has been kinda talked about in s1 already. and from a story telling pov, there is only so much you can put things on repeat. everybody that expects discussions from s1 to reoccur to the same extent as when they occurred first, i have bad new for you; the chances are kinda slim. s1 itself was planned to be a one-time thing anyways, which is why the discussions that had been begun there were also sort of finished there, leaving some space for viewers to think further for themselves. you cannot expect them to recycle all that again without being accused of unoriginality (again). and with the digital age becoming more and more established in our current days, i think it was a safe guess to go with the political themes for the recent season.

as a lit major and lover, lemme tell y’all, I wanna rip apart s3 for many annoying mistakes/illogical moves in storytelling they did, but alas, who wants to read a raging rosie these days? as a phil major though i think it should be said that what s3 did was pick a topic that is currently in discussion and on the uprising globally, and on top of that, this is going from the european/american scene. i do not know how the japanese philosophy scene is working with this topic as of now, so its possible that while going for the political route and the will-gibson-reminiscent AI theme, they simply had too little input to work into the season. at least without avoiding major controversies (bcs people tend to steer away from an epoch’s early texts for the longest time due to possible radical views that, if disagreed with fatally, can turn into digging your own grave which, as a show that has to make profit to continue being funded, is the very thing you should NOT do).

with this input, you guys go ahead and merrily continue your discussions (respectfully, please!). and let me know if you want to read a raging rosie go aggretsuko on s3’s literary composure and how it drives me up the wall.

with that said, rosie’s out! stay safe everyone!

[dragonpigeons]

Roommates Part 2

Tags/warnings: Deku x Reader, Deku x Self-insert, Slowburn, SFW, Aged-Up Characters, Roommates AU, Pro Hero Deku, Deku thirst. Other characters to be added in future parts including OCs.

Summary: Riida gets an idea over Deku’s eating habits. Also pizza. Word count: 1959

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read Part 1 :) Here’s Part 2, enjoy! Part 3 is out on my Patreon 🎉

====

Your room was your haven to be free to express yourself. And by expressing yourself that really meant expressing your love for Deku in every corner possible. You had a shelf full of his figurines. The walls were covered in his posters. Your bed covers had his face on. Your deku hug pillow took up one half of your bed along with all the chibi Deku cushions and plushies. And, of course, you had a few Deku hoodies, sweaters, scarves and socks in the closet, not to mention all the Deku charms adorning your Deku bag. You even had a pair of Deku undies stuffed in the back of your drawer which your friends jokingly gifted you for your birthday and which you deliberately chose to forget about.

In short, you were a massive fan of the pro hero. Your love for him extended into the online world where you were a top member of his fanclub and often enjoyed seeing any news about him. The fanclub was the reason for your private collection of images and videos of him in your hard drive and phone. You were often teased for your Deku passion but you didn't really care. What you felt for him was simply admiration as a fan.

So then why, for the past few days, have you been so nervous, and why, on this morning, were you hiding around the corner from where Deku was doing his morning workout?

The answer was this - he was topless yet again but this time he was doing handstand press ups. When you came to the doorway, you were met with a full frontal assault of his back, rippling with glorious muscles. It took everything in you not to scream.

So you dove round the corner to gather yourself, feeling like some higher being was testing you. Your entire face was burning, your chest was palpitating. You never thought in a million years that you would become this way around your favourite hero. Sure, you had imagined meeting him at a signing event or something, but those were very casual and very quick to get it done and over with. There wouldn't be time to feel anything other than a short burst of joy at meeting your idol. Not to mention he'd be fully clothed too and not half as hormone-inducing.

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before emerging into the kitchen.

"Hey," Deku's eyes lit up when he noticed you, pausing his workout for a moment, "I put the kettle on just before so it should still be hot."

"Oh, okay. Thanks."

You ate your breakfast in silence purposely avoiding Deku's sweaty physique, lest you risk giving yourself heart palpitations. He was very dedicated to the cause though. You wondered about his morning habits.

"How early do you get up to do your workout?" you decided to ask him.

"Pretty early!" said Deku, perking up at being asked a question by you. "Around 5am? Sometimes 5.30 if I want a bit of a lie in."

You raised your eyebrows. You couldn't help but be impressed. "Do you work out everyday?"

"Yeah. Except Sundays. They're my days off. It's bad to overwork your body. But I like doing them because it clears my mind for the day ahead."

"I see. Being a pro hero must be quite stressful."

"Not more than any other job, I imagine."

You had your doubts that a pro hero went through the same stresses as someone with an office job but you let it slide.

"What made you choose to live here?" you asked.

"Simple, really. One, I like the space where I can do my daily workouts. And two, it's in a secluded location where I can afford to get some privacy.”

You found you agreed with his reasonings. The apartment was very spacious given the okay price of the rent and it was out-of-the-way from more popular areas. You personally liked it because it meant quiet nights and humble surroundings.

“Oh, by the way,” continued Deku, “don't tell anyone I live here. The landlady knows and she's signed a confidentiality contract. So yeah, if you were thinking of bringing a boyfriend over or-- just let me know and I’ll stay out of the way."

"I don't have a boyfriend," you corrected him.

"Really?? But, you're so pretty. I thought you would have one for sure."

You almost spat out your food, suddenly hit by that bombshell out of nowhere. It was fortunate Deku had his back to you. Your face was burning red hot and there was no way you could face him at the moment. You decided to steer the conversation another way, clearing your throat, "Would I need to sign a confidentiality contract too?"

"Huh? Oh, er, maybe. I'll talk to my agent about it."

Deku finished his reps and hit the shower.

And you went to work with your face almost permanently red for the whole day any time you thought about his pretty compliment. And you thought about it pretty often.

---

Deku installed a pull-up bar the next morning. He had a black sleeveless top on this time but that did nothing to detract from his bulging arms. Furthermore, he looked good in black. Not that you hadn't seen pictures of him in black before, but combined with pull-ups and it was a knockout sight.

You stuttered as you greeted him good morning.

"Good morning!" Deku greeted back jovially. "What's for breakfast today?"

"Toast. And jam," you replied, deliberately opening your fridge.

"And drink?"

"Just a glass of milk."

"You're always so healthy in your meals," appraised Deku warmly.

"I try," you shrugged, "but sometimes I can't resist a ramen cup or a pizza takeout."

"I get you," said Deku, in a way that was like he was proverbially nodding his head, "nothing like a good pizza to satisfy a craving."

You were spreading jam on your toast when Deku suddenly said, "Hey, I know - let's have pizza tonight!"

"P-pizza?"

"I've been craving it lately and then you happened to mention it. Perfect timing, right? How about it?"

And that was how you ended up sharing two large pizzas with the No.1 Hero several hours later after he got back from work. He even went the extra mile and got dessert and cola too.

You enjoyed your pizza, savouring the taste. Next to you, it seemed Deku was enjoying a whole lot more, cramming it all into his mouth like no tomorrow.

"This is so good," said Deku with his mouth full.

"Mm, yes," you agreed, finishing a slice.

"I haven't eaten since 10."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Deku wolfed down two slices in one go. "Was busy with a train incident."

You recalled seeing on the news how a villain group boarded a running freight train, wanting to take the cargo for themselves. Deku managed to stop the group in their tracks with the help of a few pro heroes. The whole thing caused a mess for many passenger trains though and services became delayed. Deku and the other heroes had to sort out the chaos working together with the authorities.

You stared at Deku, asking out of concern, "Do you often skip lunch?"

"I mean, yeah. I'm pretty busy with stuff. It's not just the patrol stuff, there's also all the paperwork and side gigs too. But that's why I like to go all out when it comes to dinner--" He finished his entire 18" diameter pizza by himself in five minutes flat. You watched as he downed a two-litre bottle of cola in one sitting too. A trail escaped from the corner of his mouth and slid down his throat, bobbing over his adam's apple. You quickly turned back to your pizza feeling warm all of a sudden. It was probably the jalapenos, you told yourself.

"Hey, do you mind if I have an extra slice?" Deku eyed your pizza box which was still two-thirds full.

"Sure, have as many as you want. I won't be able to eat all that anyway."

"Really?? Thanks so much!"

Deku gorged himself generously on your leftovers. You had to wonder, if he was skipping meals, was he really holding up the best he can? "It seems bad that you're skipping meals as a pro hero, to be honest," you admitted out loud.

Deku nodded somberly, "I know but I can't turn my back on those who need help to go and fill my stomach.”

You personally disagreed with the pro hero. No job was worth risking your own health, even one as well spotlit as his. You were sure other fans would agree, some even commenting their observations on how Deku was looking on the thinner side lately. A little idea started to form in your head which you would check out the next day.

---

The Deku Fanclub forums were lively as usual this evening with all the banter and discussions surrounding the hero himself. There were some truly diehard fans, bordering on obsessive stalker-ness, who provided endless entertainment and 'exclusive' pictures of the green-haired man out and about. Sometimes they got him on his way to the gym. Sometimes he was caught in action. Sometimes it was a shot focusing heavily on his butt. And that wasn't even the worst of it, but you were there for something else.

You clicked on one thread which caught your eye. It was about Deku's eating habits. Many theorised and agreed that he was eating at least three meals a day and snacking on lots of fruits and protein bars in between. One Deku Diehard (it was its own label for the extremely dedicated Deku fan), however, put together an entire hypothetical itinerary of Deku's schedule for the past several days and proposed that he wasn't getting the recommended three meals a day because there simply wasn't time.

You found a reply to this comment that talked about what Deku should be eating in order to attain, and maintain, his good form. Lots of talk about protein and carbs. A chicken breast here, a salmon fillet there, a scattering of beans throughout, and some tasty meal plans. You bookmarked the meal plans.

That evening you cooked too much for lunch, enough for two people. The next morning you took out the extra portion and sat it on the counter, mentally rehearsing what you were going to say as Deku worked out in front of you. This time he was doing one-armed pull-ups, which wasn’t entirely helping your cause to pass this off casually but you had to remain focused.

"Um, Deku," you uttered nervously. "Last night I made too much food for myself, and I was wondering… W-would you like the extra portion? Not that you have to accept or anything--"

Deku dropped from the bar and said, "Really, you would give me your extra food??"

He leapt over to the counter in excitement, picking up the container. "Chicken and potatoes. No wonder it smelt so good in the kitchen last night!" He grinned widely, then with a knowing look, "It's because I said I skipped lunch yesterday, isn't it?"

"Um, well…"

You were seen right through by Deku. You didn’t think he would remember but here he was, smiling at you, eyes crinkling in gratitude. "You didn't have to do that for me. I really appreciate it though. This way I won't skip a meal. I can't let your hard work go to waste so I promise to finish every last bit!"

You gave a shaky smile back, hoping it wouldn’t taste too terrible to him. You were not the greatest cook but you at least wanted to try your best for the hero you admire.

====

A/N: A longer part this time but I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know in the comments your thoughts :D

[kpopisamood]

Queen’s Clan { 4 }

Summary: y/n is plagued by nightmares. She realizes that the more she runs away, the less frequently they haunt her. However, in running away, she’s also running straight into her ultimate demise. Will she be saved in time by those who would lay down their lives for her, even if they don’t know of each other’s existence?

Monsta X/Reader, Human/Vampire(s), Reverse Harem, future smut?, violence, language

Word count: 1.42k

Tag list: @noonaduck

***

“I’m sorry, but, can you run that by me one more time?” You staggered out, not truly believing the words coming out of this woman’s mouth.

She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance, taking off her glasses to clean them with a handkerchief while giving the two boys on either side of you a look that said, is she serious?!

The guys were true to their word; a Guardian showed up. She went by Myrna Kudrow and looked as old as the earth itself, carrying a brown leather suitcase and completing her odd looks with huge glasses that threatened to fall off her face with the slightest movement. She’d sat you down to talk about your family history and tell you of your responsibilities as a Queen, but there was one thing you couldn’t get past.

“As the newly represented Queen of your lineage, and the only surviving noble of your immediate family, you are to inherit this sum,” she roughly pushed a paper at you. “Of money.” Your eyes widened at the amount of zeros on the page. Surely, there was a mistake? “Your mother left her estate to you and your father, may he and she Rest In Peace, and you inherited this sum the moment you turned of awakening age.” She said simply, pulling out more pieces of paper and beginning to explain more history.

“That’s a mistake, then. My mother is alive and well. She lives with my dad a few states away and we weren’t this well off.” You pointed to the piece of paper that seemed to burn a hole in you.

She glanced at Minhyuk and he returned her look with a glare, begging her to say something that he could reprimand her for.

“Yes, well, your adoptive parents weren’t this well off. But your birth parents were. So, as I was saying—“

You stopped listening. How dare this woman come in and say the parents you had grown up with weren’t your own? They would have said something, right? She could be lying. This could all be fake.

“My parents,” you growled out, “Would have told me if I was adopted.”

Ms. Kudrow sighed and clasped her hands together. “Yes, they should have when you awakened. But from what I’ve gathered, you’ve just started this process yesterday and they haven’t had time to fill you in. In our tradition, should a child of our species lose both parents or harem and become adopted, it is that a caregiver's responsibility to make sure you are cared for, but also well informed of your history after you have completed the awakening process.”

“There’s that word again, awakening. And what species? No one is explaining any sort of thing to me to help me better understand.” You demanded. Although you weren’t focused on them, you could feel Minhyuk and Hoseok tense next to you.

“Miss L/N, I know these aren’t very helpful situations you’ve landed yourself in, but I’ll try and explain some stuff. I’m what they call an Adra, or Guardian/Sponsor for fledglings and newly appointed Ardetha. In modern words, you’re a vampire. A royal one who will need protection from other Ardethas, Queens, who wish to seek out your newly awakened power and add onto their own.”

Was she on crack?

“Since you haven’t grown up within our lifestyle, you will need to make your harem, or clan, quickly. You can choose who comes and goes as well as what they can or can’t do. It’s like you’re the head of your family that you choose. You can choose to form bonds with these two gentlemen,” she gestured to the guys. “Or you can choose to go out and make your own once you’ve fully awakened. I’m all for empowerment, but it may not be the safest thing to go out in the world since your presence alone is a red flag to Ardethas hundreds of miles away while you’re still in a vulnerable state.”

Just play along. You can escape this loony bin later. “They said there would be others trying to find me, as well as these, uhh, Queens.” You prodded.

She smiled warmly. “Ah, yes. More will come flocking to you, women and men alike, we don’t discriminate in our society, and wanting to serve you. Your awakening shift sent a huge rift around the United States and now those who do not have a Queen or King to serve will come seeking you out to live alongside you.”

“There are Queens and Kings?”

“Well, surely, both must exist. Though Kings are not as regarded as much and tend to stick to themselves. Kings do not take Queens or vice versa and tend to steer clear of each other. Both have the same status, but Queens are more revered and I suppose, needed, if you catch my drift.” Needed. As in, baby making machines. You shuddered in distaste and shake your head to clear images of farms out of your head.

“Say I believe all this. If I take Minhyuk and Hoseok as my own, I’d have to reproduce with them?” You cringed at how traditionalistic and sexist and downright wrong you sounded, but she acted as if you were talking about the weather.

“You could choose to continue your line with both of them or just one, or neither. It’s truly all up to you. No one is asking you to believe all of this,” she reached for your hand, grasping it softly. “But you and I both know you believe at least a fraction of it. Or else you wouldn’t be sitting here.” You huffed and yanked your arm back, standing up. Minhyuk and Hoseok stood with you, while Miss Kudrow sat, unbothered.

“I need some space.” You stated, and took off in the direction of the outside deck. Some fresh air was needed.

***

“You couldn’t say it any other way?” Minhyuk growled at the Guardian.

“I’m not here to coddle her, and neither are you. I’m here to explain and do my job as her protector. Those people who raised her should have done a better job so I didn’t have to explain things this way. I shouldn’t have to explain anything at all.” She rolled her eyes at him.

Hoseok agreed but also slightly disagreed. Yes, your parents should have said something to you. So why didn’t they? You didn’t live with them but he couldn’t figure out why the hell they’d let you leave so easily without telling you anything.

The two were still arguing.

“—and that baby talk was not needed!” Minhyuk glowered.

“Oh, shush. Like you both don’t want the same thing?” That shut him up.

It was true. They’d been in search of a Queen ever since her. They wanted to give someone the world and then some and also live happily with each other. They wanted peace.

Miss Kudrow packed all her necessities and made her way around them, stopping at Hoseok.

“What are you going to do when her hunger starts?” She smirked at Hoseok’s eyes widening before shuffling out, slamming the door behind her.

“Bitch.” Minhyuk bristled.

“She’s right, though.” Hoseok grumbled.

“She is, but that doesn’t mean we have to like her attitude towards our Queen.” Minhyuk muttered back.

“She’s not our Queen yet, Min.” Hoseok growled out, making a beeline for his room. He slammed his door shut behind him, throwing himself onto his bed in a slump. After a few minutes of sitting there with his thoughts, his eyes looked at his window. He pulled himself up and walked slowly to the window, opening his blinds slightly. A small smile made its way on his face taking in your form. He really liked that fact that his room was connected to the deck, after all, he gets to watch you now. As creepy as that sounds.

He could hear you cuss and throw yourself onto the bench, throwing an arm over your face in frustration. A slight moan leaving your lips.

His smile dropped before he felt his pupils dilate. Shit. Not yet.

Please do NOT repost. All rights reserved.

[burningcollectionsandwich]

could john doe be autistic? telltale batman theory

A couple of months ago, I was looking at random batman stuff when I came across “batman: the telltale series” and “batman: the enemy within”, and let me tell you, its probably one of the best games ive seen since undertale and even corpse party (corpse party is and will remain my favourite game though… unless I change my mind). I loved the story and the characters, but one of them stood out to me, and that was John Doe. Now let me be clear, I do not, and I repeat NOT class John Doe as the joker at all (unless you choose the choices in order to make him the joker), no I class John as ‘the joker, if he got rehabilitated’ or just simply as John Doe. And me being the type of person who automatically likes anything that has to do with the joker because I find his personality and the overall character incredibly interesting, when I finished watching all the john scenes (im not even kidding, I spent days watching every scene I can find with John in it), even though he doesn’t act like the joker, I loved his personality. One day when I was watching it, I noticed some key things that stood out in Johns personality, which are kind of similar to………………….and then it clicked in my brain. Could John Doe from the batman telltale series, be autistic? Now I know “John Doe” has traits or all the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder and possibly schizophrenia, but I could not help but find other symptoms to Asperger’s syndrome/autism, though this is only with john doe, not with the original joker (trust me I tried looking but he’s just the definition of antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy). I did some research and watched the batman telltale series repeatedly, and here’s the evidence I collected. Behavioural symptoms: •    Often verbalizes internal thoughts that most would keep private – this isn’t shown quite often in season 1, however in season 2, John does say/shout out his thoughts depending on the situation. For example, (in season 2 episode 3) when he was asking Bruce about dating advice, and Bruce pretended to be Harley, John yelled “why won’t you love me?!” in front of everyone at a café. Another example is (in season 2 episode 1) when John yells at the man who shh’ed him in church by saying “you shh me again, you’ll be mourning the loss of your teeth!”, he did calm down and stated “that outburst, its antisocial I know”. He also yells “at least he went out with a bang right?” when talking to Tiffany about her dead father, At his funeral. Another scene is (in season 2 episode 2) when Bruce starts the car for John after struggling with it for a few minutes and he says “you are literally my hero Bruce. –I mean wow”. another quote is “Bruce is strong and smart, and handsome, I mean, super handsome, its nuts you guys, and-… where was I going with this?”. on the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when first meeting Alfred, he states “wow. The Alfred. I’ve been taken polaroid photos of Bruce for years and you’re in the background in at least a third of them”. • Appears to lack empathy – this is very clear in both season 1 and season 2, John will attack/kill or steal anything from anyone without feeling empathy towards anyone, apart from Harley and sometimes Bruce, and will laugh when seeing violence himself. Many examples of John not showing empathy to anyone is: laughing at Victor Zsasz when he’s murdering someone (season 1 episode 4), laughing when Bruce defends him from Willy by knocking him out (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Harley threatens one of Bruce’s workers (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Bruce/Batman beats up Bane (season 2 episode 4), laughing when exploding the Gotham bridge with a lot of people still on it (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he has no empathy for the people he and Harley kill with the virus. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he stabs 3 people while injuring tiffany with a joker-rang through the hand, he also throws joker-rangs at a lot of agents, which impale them, he also shows no empathy to bane when he either hits him with his car or drops a smock deck on him. • Has a difficult time interacting with peers – this is mostly shown in season 2. (in season 2 episode 2) When Bruce is inspecting John’s house or ha ha-ciesta and he looks at the beer bottles, John explains that in order to talk to Bane, he has to give him his favourite bottle of beer so Bane doesn’t tear his head off, even stating “he’s scarier than anyone I met in Arkham”. He also says to Bruce that he has a hard time talking to Harley as it is indicated in a previous statement that she loses interest quickly when talking to John, though this could be the fault of Harley, not John. John also despises the riddler because he always interrupted him when he was telling a joke “making him look like an idiot, in front of Harley and the other guys”, riddler even calling john a “white faced prick” (season 2 episode 3), though this can be seen as just a normal rivalry and not a difficult time interacting with people. • Talks excessively, especially about one specific topic – John talks a lot, and I mean a lot in season 1 and 2. He does switch topics in conversation depending on the situation but most of the time, he is either talking a lot about Harley or a lot about Bruce. The Harley topic is clear in nearly every episode of season 2, and Harley even stated to Bruce when John went to get her a slushy “he thinks the world of you” (season 2 episode 2), indicating that he talks about Bruce to the pact a lot. John does talk about Batman to but not as often. He mostly talks about how he’s best friends with Bruce, constantly saying “we’re two threads in the same stitch”. • Frequently has one-sided conversations – John shows this (in season 2 episode 4) when Bruce finds him surrounded by corpses he had murdered, and when Bruce disagrees with John on if he should trust John or not, John will yell “you’re supposed to be on my side!”. He will also say “it’s been hard knowing that you haven’t been straight with me, Bruce”, even though John has his own secrets that he hasn’t shared with Bruce, and Bruce knows this. He also says “You steered me wrong, at every turn” to Bruce when Harley abandons him (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john blames Bruce entirely for making him become the joker after Bruce didn’t believe him about the murdered agents. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john claims “I believed in you, batman. like I never believed in anything, and it was all a lie!”, and when batman wants Waller to leave Gotham, john goes against that idea shouting “this is so very disappointing. You’re a hypocrite! Your letting her off the hook, because of what? Because she has a badge?!”, john also believes that Bruce/batman is becoming or is very similar to Waller near the end of the episode. • Is unable to understand societal norms – this is shown in season 2 on many scenes. The main examples of this are: John talking very loudly and saying inappropriate comments in church (season 2 episode 1), and John believing that girls like men who are desperate (season 2 episode 3). Another scene is when he takes selfies during a funeral (season 2 episode 1). He also does a pinkie swear with Bruce in the middle of a pub, even though he is an adult (season 2 episode 2). John also believes that his green hair is ‘natural’ due to him not remembering his hair colour before it turned green (season 2 episode 3). • Does not understand the concept of personal space – this is not very shown as John keeps his distance when he’s around people, but the times that this has happened is when he randomly hugs Bruce after Bruce chooses to believe him about the murdered agents (season 2 episode 4) or when he takes selfies with someone, he raps his arm around their shoulders and takes a photo (as seen in multiple photos on his wall, he even does it too batman). Sometimes when john is speaking to someone, he would sometimes inch closer to them but that is not much of an issue, until he leans his head forward while he’s talking, which causes the person he talking to, to move back slightly. Other times include: grabbing Bruce’s arm in the church (in season 2 episode 1), grabbing batman by the shoulders after john gave him the laptop and/or teaching john how to throw a batarang (in season 2 episode 3), punching Bruce (multiple times in different episodes), and even carrying batman in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when interrogating Waller, he gets really close to her face in order to make her talk, which still doesn’t work. • Flat tone / speaking style that lacks pitch – john’s voice has a bit of a lack of pitch when he’s speaking to anyone, though this could change depending on what mood he’s in. multiple times in the game, it shows that john sometimes mimics another person’s voice, in season 1 episode 4: he puts on a high pitched voice (presumably a woman’s voice) saying “ahh ohh someone save my baby”, he also put on a deep voice (presumably mimicking Harvey dents voice) saying “I’m going to find your drugs”. In season 2: he puts on a deep voice (presumably mimicking batman) saying “just get it john” (episode 2), also in the vigilante ending (episode 5), he puts on a deep voice again (mimicking child Bruce) saying “no Alfred, I am the knight”. John also alters his voice when he’s being sarcastic, for example (in season 2 episode 4) when john is upset with Bruce and says in a weird voice “just manipulate her john/just be yourself john”, or he’s in an awkward moment for example (in season 2 episode 3) if you take too long to take the laptop of john, he pulls a confused face and says “you did want this didn’t you?, I’ll just leave this rrrriiiigggghhhhttttt here” while putting the laptop in batman’s hand, then finishing the sentence with a very high pitched “K”. Physical symptoms: • Unusual body postures, gestures and facial expressions – John has rather bad posture when sitting and/or standing, as his back is always hunched. For facial expressions, the main facial expressions that John portrays is the very wide and toothy smile/grin, a frown, a shocked face, and one that’s I’ve been noticing a lot, the confused/thinking face (the best scene to see this facial expression clearly is when John says to Bruce that he thinks he’s fallen in love, and Bruce asks “are you in love with me?”, John pulls that face soon after the comment (season 2 episode 4)). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), whenever he’s been insulted or when he first walks into Wayne enterprises, he always smirks, which hasn’t been seen in the previous chapters before. • may perform repetitive movements, such as hand or finger flapping, or rocking back and forth – mainly during season 2, when John is either happy and excited/grateful, he will always interlock his hands while crouching a little bit. He does clap in season 1 and in season 2 but this only happens when he’s presumably excited (he does this when he first meets Batman (season 1 episode 5), he does this when Harley comes back and says she’s going to be the new management instead of Bane (season 2 episode 3), and he does this again when he is in the elevator going to the secret lab (season 2 episode 4), he also claps his hands when he first meets Alfred in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5)). Another repetitive movement that John does, mainly while talking, is finger pointing, this can be seen whenever John is talking to anyone, but mainly towards Bruce and sometimes Harley. In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john repeated puts his hands/fists/knuckles on his hips, though this could be john thinking that he’s a super hero. • Apparent insensitivity to pain – many examples of this are shown in season 2: John gets shoved by Catwoman and is knocked on the floor, He doesn’t react (season 2 episode 3). John gets a black eye from Harley, we are not sure what his reaction was there but he doesn’t seem fazed by it when Bruce arrives (season 2 episode 4). He gets punched in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t react (season 2 episode 4). He gets slapped in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t really react, though seeming a little surprised (season 2 episode 4). He gets tazor-ed by Tiffany, he does fall to the floor but soon after he just stands back up coughing and laughing (season 2 episode 2). In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets picked up by his neck and thrown to the floor by bane and he laughs (while saying “ow, god”), he gets shot in the shoulder by the agency (he does show pain as he crouches on the floor while bleeding, but minutes later, he stands up and laughs), he gets punched, electrocuted and gets his face hit off a railing multiple time and he just laughs, he also gets a batarang through the hand and a couple of minutes after either getting head butted or electrocuted, he just sits there as if it’s not in his hand (which is pinned to the table). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets stabbed multiple times and he laughs, he gets kicked and punched repeatedly and he laughs, true he does go into cardiac arrest but when he gets out of it he just lies there giggling and talking to Bruce. • Poor handwriting skills – this is only seen a couple of times, but johns hand writing is the kind of writing that looks messy, but readable. For example, (in season 2 episode 1) when Bruce opened the card john gave to him, john wrote his name into the card, and the writing looks a little bit messy. His writing is also shown (in season 2 episode 5) on the villain ending on the various cards, the side of a van and on the tombstones, still messy but readable. Cognitive symptoms: • Lack of social skills – though this may be caused by an unknown amount of time locked in Arkham asylum, John has a notorious lack of social skills, though in this case he does talk to a lot of people, he just doesn’t know how. The main examples are all the things he says when he’s in the church (season 2 episode 1), and when he tries to convince Harley that he is the only man to do the job, which lead to him getting a time out by Harley (season 2 episode 3). • May have one or a few very select interests that one is extremely knowledgeable about – even though being a rather smart character, John knows a lot of information about different things, but the main things he is extremely knowledgeable about is the Vikki Vale’s drugs, Bruce (even detecting that he’s Batman) saying “you forget, I know you. The real you. Always hiding behind some kind of mask. Playboy, business man, criminal….bat. you can’t fool a friend, someone who really takes the time to look” (season 2 episode 4), and Harley, stating “let me talk to her, I know her better than anyone” (season 2 episode 4). • may engage in violent outbursts, self-injurious behaviours, tantrums or meltdowns – this is very clear in season 1 and 2. For violent outbursts: John beats up 2 guys knocking them out (season 1 episode 4), he cuts Zsasz’s face with a knife (season 1 episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze with a batarang/gun/sharp pole (season 2 episode 4), he hits an officer over the head with a crowbar (season 2 episode 3), he tries to punch Bruce when he disagrees with him (season 2 episode 4), he murdered a bunch of cops/agents (season 2 episode 4), he explodes the bridge (season 2 episode 4). On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john snaps and ends up stabbed three agents to death. For self-injurious: if in an angry mood, John will repeatedly hit his head off any hard surface (the church chair (season 2 episode 1) or the elevator wall (season 2 episode 2)). For tantrums or meltdowns: the bridge scene and the fun house scene can be seen as a meltdown but more of an outburst of violence, he lashes out at a man in church after Bruce rejects his offer (stating his has a hard time dealing with rejection (season 2 episode 2)), etc. • Inappropriate laughing or giggling – this is shown a lot in season 1 and season 2. When John is talking (apart from some situations), he will automatically start laughing or giggling, but he has stated (in season 2 episode 4) that he laughs when he’s nervous, though we are not sure if this is a lie or not. All throughout the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he is constantly laughing. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he also randomly laughs or giggles when he’s talking to someone or himself. • No real fears of danger – this is shown in season 1 and mostly in season 2. In season 1: he cuts Zsasz’s face even though he knows he has outbursts of violence (episode 4), John is unfazed when there is a riot going on in front of him in Arkham asylum while workers and patients are getting killed all around him (episode 5). He randomly drinks a drink when he’s threatened by a cop with a gun pointed at him (episode 5). In season 2: he starts laughing when he’s threatened by Willy with a knife pointed at him (episode 2), he doesn’t seem fazed when Tiffany points a tazor gun at him or when he gets shot with the tazor gun for that matter (episode 2), he runs into the lower floor of Riddler’s hide out (out of curiosity) even while knowing the place is a death trap (episode 3), he jumps onto a roof ledge just to stand with Batman (episode 3), he stands there smiling when the secret lab was about to insinuate them (episode 4), he looks around the corner when a machine gun was firing at them (episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze (possibly the strongest people out of the pact) with a gun/pole/batarang when Bane/Mr Freeze tries to kill Bruce (episode 4), he blows up the bridge even though he is still on it (episode 4), he leans and falls off the ledge of the bridge backwards (episode 4). On the villain ending (episode 5), john is unfazed by Bruce/batman threatening him, or when he fights him. On the vigilante ending (episode 5), john (and batman) fight bane who was the strongest in the pact. • may “day dream” or “zone out” when overstimulated – the best example to show of this symptom is on the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), when john asks batman what he thinks Harley would do if she found out about him giving the map to Jim Gordon, whatever batman answers with, john turns around and seems to zone out asking “what do you think that means, Dr Leland?” and answers with “uhh it makes me feel uncomfortable when you put it that way Dr Leland”. Psychosocial Symptoms: • Social isolation – he was in Arkham asylum for an unknown period of time (Dr Leland stated “John has been with us for quite some time”) (season 1 episode 4) • Lowered self-confidence – during the interrogation scene (in season 2 episode 3), John says that he did try to stick up for Bruce (“internally”) but said “I’m sorry, I’m not as strong as you” • Difficulties with social interactions – as stated before, John struggles to start a conversation with the likes of Bane and Harley (though this could be the fault of Bane and Harley) • Depression – after being punched and left by Harley, John enters a stage of depression while drinking an unknown amount of alcohol (from what I can see, I would say that he drank at least six bottles of beer), he also shouts comments like “I don’t want to do this anymore, not for you, not for her, certainly not for Gotham. I don’t care!”, “I’m John Doe, the lonely hearts club”, “you’ve got some real nerve you know that, buddy. Remember at the café (just be yourself John/just manipulate her John), then I stuck my neck out for you, way out! Bane nearly ripped my head off. And for what? Her flew the cope, and I have nothing. You steered me wrong, at every turn” and “I don’t want to find her. My heart can take another kicking. I don’t ever want to see her again, she ruined me, I-I can’t.” (season 2 episode 4) • Moodiness – John does have a lot of mood swings and outbursts of anger as stated in the previous symptoms, this mainly happens when someone rejects him or disagrees with him. • Troubled romantic relationships – in the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john and Harley’s relationship seems to be a pretty stable one, until Harley finds out that john gave away the map or john stops Harley from killing Bruce, then she proceeds to try and strangle john while saying “I’ll kill you”. John also runs away leaving Harley behind with Bruce (batman) and Selina (cat woman), while Harley says “I’ll kill him” again. • Lowered self-esteem – (in season 2 episode 3), when Bruce asks why john has green hair, john aggressively said “I don’t know what’s with your black hair?” and then states “I’m sorry buddy I’m a little sensitive about my style”. Harley also states (in season 2 episode 4) “keep it with ya brucie, I can’t afford any more mishaps” while looking at john, who looks down with a sad looking face. • Feelings of being “unlike” his or her peers – in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john believes that he’s a hero above all else, apart from batman (at times). For example, when Waller says “think whatever you want, you will never be a hero”, john becomes extremely angry and shouts back “How. Dare. You. Your worse than me! That makes me the hero! And this is what hero’s do to Gotham!” The symptoms I don’t think he has is: behavioural symptoms: • Lack of interpersonal relationship skills and instincts • Inability to express one’s own feelings • May not make eye contact or may stare at others • Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking • Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back." • may be extremely literal or have difficulty understanding the nuances of language, despite having a good vocabulary physical symptoms: • Heightened sensitivity and overstimulation to loud noises, bright lights, unusual textures, or strong tastes • Poor coordination • Clumsiness • Poor fine motor skills • Difficulties using gross motor skills Cognitive symptoms: • Difficulties with changes or upsets in routine • Difficulties picking up on the subtle changes in tone, pitch, and voice that accompany regular conversation • May be unable to understand sarcasm or jokes • Poor organizational skills • difficulty making friends of the same age, children with AS may feel more comfortable with adults or much younger children psychological symptoms: • Difficulty making and keeping friends • Challenges in finding and maintaining steady employment • Anxiety • Tendency toward shyness

Of course I am not a doctor, I can’t diagnose this, but there was a lot of evidence so I decided to check it out, and no I’m not saying that john is autistic just because I’m autistic, that’s just weird and very very low. If anyone finds anymore evidence or any other symptoms, let me know and I will add/edit it. (also, I am not too sure if some of these symptoms are in the correct categories (cognitive, behavioural, etc) if they are, please do not hesitate to tell me and I will correct it). This post is not making fun of autism or any mental disorders, this is just a theory that I created to see if it was correct or not (I would never make fun of any mental disorder) comment down below if you agree or disagree with me my laugh sounds really similar to johns/jokers laugh and I don't know whether to find that amusing or worrying Well that’s it from me bye

[alexcapistrano]

Intro to this blog

Hello... Internet... am I in the right spot?

My name, for the purposed of this blog, is Alex Capistrano. If ever my meager writings here were to gain enough traction so that the general public would be interested in my person, they would not find me by that name. I have adopted the time honored tradition of cowardly writers who fear they have too much to lose (and may be right) and have opted for a pseudonym. 

I wanted to start this blog for many years and for many reasons. Many years because, once again, I’m a coward, and many reasons for... well that’s what I’m about to tell you.

The only two facts I will reveal about myself are that I am cemented in the Orthodox Roman Catholic Church and that I flirt with the ideals of conservativism and existentialism. The flirting is the second fact. I believe I have the right and duty to change my mind with what if need be. 

I have found that the general mind has closed itself off to freedom of opinion and civility towards those who possess differing opinions. As a unitarian, I have been disappointed time and time again with the incessant demonization of certain mindsets by the media and politicians, mainly those of conservativism, personal responsibility, true inclusivity, and religious orthodoxy. It has gotten to the point where I have no faith that any public outlet for my beliefs would end without myself being cancelled or blacklisted for something completely innocent if not unpopular. Due to the nature of my career I cannot risk that, and hence the pseudonym. 

I also want to be very clear, this is no blog written by some bigot as an outlet for his bigotries. I’ll rephrase that in a more familiar dialect for some of you... 

I ain’t one o’ them good ole boys. I nary have thought none about the glory of the South and I ain’t got no fanciful ideers about Blacks or Jews or Mexicans or Italians. Seeing as how I ain’t got no wings nor a halo, I ain’t got no guarantee of who’s going to heaven or hell. I ain’t got the faintest notion of how to tie a noose nor would I ever want to be around one. I’ll be friends with a queer just as much as I’ll rope a steer. I don’t think because I’m a man I’m better than my sister nor that I should sleep with her. 

Not to leave out the other bigots in this country, I’ll similarly translate into your dialect...

I, as a penis-owner, don’t believe that I am beneath vulva-owners. I believe that the brave, brave people in the LGBTQQIP2SAA community shouldn’t be completely appeased for any half-baked theory or new term they came up with while smoking an eye-opening amount of marijuana and participating in a non-labeled, polyamorous orgy, no matter how much science they ignore. I don’t believe that white skin makes you naturally racist and black skin makes your naturally oppressed. I also actually give a crap about Asians and Jewish people. I believe in true masculinity and femininity despite being sooooooo tooooxxxxiiiiiccccc. I’m not going to spit on you, bash you over the head, or dox you if I disagree with you because, even though it’s much more difficult, I believe in freedom and fairness. Triggering words and phrases like white fragility, mansplaining, checked privilege, and “shaming” are kept strictly out of my safe space. And if you disagree you’re literally Hitler, or even worse, a straight, white, Christian, Republican, man. Gross!

You can tell I don’t like either side. I’ll also make a few more non-sarcastic clarifications. While I am conservatively minded, I am more interested in the truth than being a Republican; I believe anything that is big should be avoided with the sole exception of the Church (that’s Church with a big C, not Francis’ little c boys’ club in Rome); I have no patience for those who believe art is a secondary desire for mankind and not a primary necessity (not the primary necessity, but necessary nonetheless), AND most importantly, I believe in civility in discord and unity as a people. Whether or not America is fit enough to be the exemplar for that people anymore is becoming doubtful to me. 

Anyways, man, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I just need a place to speak my mind. Not every post will be about the power of personal action, the evils of generalization, and the necessity of locality. All I can promise is that it will be devoid of hate and judgement, and in turn hopefully this blog can serve as a platform for people who are over hate as well.

[helenamayhathaway]

The Bachelor(s) - Sope Fic

“Run that by me one more time, chief.”

He groans out the anger that he wants to take out by smacking Yoongi across the face. “Twenty-five guys stepping out of the limo. Fifteen roses. Nine weeks. Then you pick one guy.”

“Pick him to do what?” Yoongi says, playing dumb. He gives Yoongi a stare so intimidating that his balls shrivel back into his body. “Fuck, oh my god, I’m just kidding! Fall in love blah blah blah. I got it.”

Read Chapter 1 below the cut!! (also on AO3 and Wattpad)

{{

The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Promo #3 (Yoongi)

Interviewer: (Excitedly and absolutely incapable of reading the room) What made you decide to enter as a contestant on the first ever season of The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys?

Yoongi: (Under his breath) What a ridiculous [censored] title.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.

Yoongi: Honestly, I thought there was a cash prize.

Interviewer: You… you what?

Yoongi: I thought that like, if I came on the show and won, I’d get money. I’ve never seen the show, the original one or whatever. I thought it was a bunch of single people fighting to the death or something. And I’m like, I can definitely cut a [censored] if I need to.

Interviewer: (Dejectedly) Okay…

Yoongi: But I already signed the contract, it’s too late to turn back now.

Interviewer: (Trying to steer the conversation into a direction that won’t get him fired [he is definitely going to get fired]): So how does it feel now that instead of being a contestant, you’ve been chosen to be The Bachelor [Excited jazz hands]?

Yoongi: I still don’t win any money.

Interviewer: Just to be clear, you are aware this is a dating show, right?

Yoongi: It has been explained to me.

Interviewer: …and that twenty-five men will be vying for your love?

Yoongi: [unbelievably censored] That’s a lot of people I’m going to let down.

Interviewer: Well this is sure to be an exciting season isn’t it?

Yoongi: Do you think they’ll let me make all the other dudes do a Wipeout course? I want to weed out the weak among them.

Interviewer: [Damn it, man, this is your first gig in the biz, you have to get some goddamn emotions out of this man] Do you think you’re going to be falling in love this season?

Yoongi: [Laughs hysterically]

Interviewer: (Facing both God and his father who told him he’d never amount to anything) Tune in this Friday for the series premier of The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys!

Yoongi: (Quickly so as to make his voice heard before the cut) Buy my [censored] mixtape “Agust D” you [censored] cowards!

**Notes from the director: Do not let this interview see the light of day or so help me.

}}

“You are not a pleasant man!” the interviewer says to him once he’s sure the camera is no longer rolling.

“Aw, you don’t say,” he says, mockingly. Yoongi disagrees though. He is a very pleasant person. Most of his friends consider him to be dazzling and wonderful, or at least, that is what his mind insists that they think of him. He’s just super pissed he got himself into this situation, and he’s going to be a jackass about it. The cash prize thing isn’t the true story, but it’s the impression he wants to give off. Street cred and the like. He’s a rapper and he needs a certain amount of reputation so that he can call someone a motherfucker and people will take it seriously.

It’s his fault, of course it’s his fucking fault. He submitted a headshot and a copy of his self-produced-recorded-in-the-bathroom-of-his-friend’s-studio-apartment-because-it-had-great-acoustics mixtape to every goddamn company he could find. If you throw enough bait in the ocean, surely someone will snap. He’s not a considerably patient person, so after a very crafty google search of: “how to be famous”, and a very glamorous looking email from TB BWBB SK OTC LC – he still does not know what any of these letters stand for – reached out to him for an audition, well obviously he turned himself into the bait and tripped over his own feet running to be noticed. I’m special and worthy, make me your star!

Obviously, he doesn’t have an agent because 608 people have listened to said mixtape on SoundCloud and a whopping ten copies of it have sold on iTunes, and four of those copies were bought by his mom, but she will deny it until the ends of the earth. He probably could have used an agent, or common sense, or just someone to smack him in the head before that fateful audition two months ago.

“Bach-e-lor,” he read out looking at the extremely official looking poster board sign propped up on a music stand before him at the doors of that very glamorous brothel turned home brewery turned themed café turned TV Studio. “That is an English word, I do not know what that is.” He also didn’t really care about looking it up, because he is an overwhelmingly lazy person. It cannot be overstated, Yoongi should have someone follow him around to tell him when he’s being a fucking idiot.

“Boys will be boys,” he read the next line. The person who made the sign did not think about the spacing of letters, so the second part of the sentence was all crammed together. B o y s w illbeboys. Very sexy. “Well… I am a boy,” he nodded to himself, looking down for confirmation, even though no one was there to witness his joke.

So, he just walked right fucking into that studio and pretty much fucked up his entire future in one viciously fell swoop. What’s the worst that could happen, he thought? He goes on one of those K-Pop Idol shows and he doesn’t win but he gets his name and face out there so people go buy his mixtape and then some company is like “damn you’re fine” and he gets scouted and then becomes an international superstar. What could go wrong?

He did think it was kind of weird that they asked him what his preference in men was, but he’s never breathed the air of a talent agency, so he thought maybe that’s just how these things are. Yes, of course I like fellow musicians. No, I’m not a vegan, what do I look like to you, a monster?

To say it’s been a whirlwind would be an understatement. It only really starts to be real in the two weeks leading up to Night One, where he’s having his picture taken relentlessly, shoved into various seats and interviewed by various people who don’t get paid enough. Made up like a doll, advised to wear better clothes. He feels like an idol but excluding the being excited about it part. He’s trying to maintain his sleek, bad boy composure throughout all of it, and he’d say he’s doing a fairly good job, but there are cracks in the act, surely.

Two months and an unreasonable amount of Soju as a coping mechanism later, his bags are packed and all ready to move into this unforgivingly modern mansion for the next nine weeks. The mansion is the ugly kind of modern, not the “that looks relaxing and practical!” modern. All ninety-degree angles and manufactured pleasantness which don’t quite hit the mark. He supposes that the architecture is rather prophetic for the chaos that Yoongi is about to unleash inside its walls. If he’s going to be the next bachelor, and the first gay one, then goddammit if he isn’t going to raise hell.

“You’re telling me that twenty-five people are going to live in this thing?” Yoongi asks the producer who he has actually quite lovingly decided he will refer to as “Producer Dad.” See, he’s a pleasant person. Off camera, that is.

“Has anyone even explained how this show works to you?” Producer Dad says.

“Men. Roses. Hand to hand combat? Um… that’s the gist of it. I’m sure I’ll pick it up along the way, I’m a fast learner.” He did sign his soul away to this goddamn circus, though, so fast learner or not, he needs to be less of an idiot.

“So tonight, after you have your first impressions with everyone, you’re going to hand out fifteen roses. Only fifteen people will be in the mansion after that, not twenty-five.”

“I don’t think I can remember fifteen different people’s names,” Yoongi says.

“Try your hardest.”

“At the end, once I’ve eliminated all of the contestants, do I get to keep the house?” It’s ugly, but he can always sell it and get something else.

“How is it that you have not been fired yet and replaced?”

“Between you and me, I think it’s because I’m unparalleled sexy,” Yoongi says. He might be lazy and a little bit full of himself, but he’s pretty sure the actual reason is that the powers that be want this show to fail. They don’t want a gay bachelor any more than the next “Forced Diversity” crybaby, so they chose someone who’s going to make it crash and burn so that they have an excuse to say “See! It didn’t work, so now we can’t ever do it again.” They did choose the right man, because gay? bisexual? questioning? all you can eat buffet? whatever the hell Yoongi is, he is the man for the job.

“Do I get my own bedroom? My own bathroom? My own closet? Walk in closet? This is very important.”

“I’m confused, you only have one bag?” Producer Dad says.

“You’re saying the truck hasn’t come yet?”

The Truck? Oh, Producer Dad you are in for it.

“This is going to be a long nine weeks.”

Yoongi shrugs. It’s going to be stupid and dumb, but he’s going to be living the good life. Nice bedroom which he will sleep very late into the morning in? Does the mansion come with a chef? Maybe even a bathtub? Fuck! They’re going to have a lot of trouble trying to get him to move out. He’s sure if he’s stubborn enough they’ll decide to forego the glue remover required to detach him from his bed, because it would be far easier to just stew in misery over the abyss of lost profits that this train wreck of a show is going to create than to buy industrial grade Yoongi Be Gone.

“I’ll play nice with the other boys as long as I get to advertise my mixtape every five minutes of screen time.” Something tells him that this ultimatum means he’s not going to be playing nice with the other boys.

He had been lying about the truck. It’s more just a van. As he walks up to the house, with its weirdly glamorous driveway, he sees it parked out in front, seeming to gleam in the harsh summer sun. Yoongi is not particularly good at packing, though, so a lot of the reason for why he takes up so much space is because he left all of his clothes on hangers and just threw them into an impractical number of trash bags. Producer Dad is not especially willing to help Yoongi move all of his stuff into the mansion, so he does his best impression of the cutest cat you’ve ever seen to all of the crew, but Producer Dad has spitefully told all of his Producer Siblings not to help Yoongi move in his armfuls and armfuls of clothes. And all of his personal bedding. And some audio recording equipment because what if he’s sitting in his bed avoiding the responsibilities of being a reality TV star and he comes up with the next Rap God? If this wasn’t a nine-week venture, he wouldn’t have travelled so heavy, but it is a nine-week venture so fuck it. If he’s going to be a diva then he will be the diva.

He’d like to think he unpacks all of his belongings pretty quickly. The hard part is making it up the stairs into the master bedroom. When he sees it for the first time, he gets an evil glint in his eyes. The room itself is nice, he does have his own bath and an okay closet, but what really gets him is the bed itself. He’s a struggling musician, he’s never even been in a room with a bed this big. He is realizing that the bedding he brought isn’t the right size, but still, this bed is big enough that he could starfish with room to spare. He could fit two people on here to starfish. He’s going to get used to it quite quickly. So quickly in fact that after he shoves all of his clothes in the closet, he passes out on the bed for a solid three or four hours. It’s amazing.

He is awoken when a Producer who is not Producer Dad comes screaming for him, panicked because apparently the crew thought he had run away, but actually he just sleeps like a brick. She is telling him to get changed because Tonight is the Night, and he groans because he was unconscious for so long that he blissfully forgot why it is that he gets to sleep in this nice bed. He wants to stay in this big fancy mansion just for the comfort of it, he doesn’t want to actually exert effort. Effort is disgusting.

Then he’s being put into a suit. Dragged into a trailer outside of the mansion that he’s sure will never make it on camera, where about five different people all start attacking his face all at once. His hair is done, he doesn’t know what there is to do, they put so much product in, but it looks the same now as it did before. He gets makeup slathered all over him. He’d never worn makeup before they started shooting promos for the show, but he looks damn good in it he decides as he looks at himself in the mirror. How does he still look tired, though? Probably because he doesn’t want to be here. His eyes look heavier than they felt before he took that nap. Ah, that nap. He will remember it fondly until his dying days.

“Can I just eat?” he complains after possibly four hours or possibly twenty minutes. “Give me food. Please. How humiliating would it be if you could hear my stomach growl on camera?”

Producer Dad rolls his eyes, but he relents and then Yoongi is being given what seems to him like someone’s leftovers but he’s a hungry bitch, so he doesn’t really care.

“Why do you film it so late at night?” Yoongi asks, because the sun set nearly an hour ago and now he’s just standing by, waiting for shooting to begin.

“It’s for the drama of it.”

“Yeah,” he rolls his eyes, “that makes total sense.” These entertainment types are so weird to him. They don’t seem like bad people, they just have vastly different priorities and thoughts as he does. Who would think that people walking out of a limo is more dramatic at night? These guys! Everyone is in agreement about it. Yoongi feels like a child in comparison to everyone around him.

The production quality of this show overall seems astoundingly low. The house is pretty nice and all that, but no one seems to know what they’re doing. Or maybe he just thinks that because he himself does not know what he’s doing. He shouldn’t even be here. Why the fuck is he here?

He’s not a reality star, or an idol. He’s not really an anything. He’s just some guy who got in over his head and signed up for the wrong kind of show, and now he’s here.

There is some truth to the fact that he did technically sort of a little bit kind of definitely know what he was doing. Initially, yeah, he had no clue. But it didn’t take that long for him to realize what kind of show this was. He’ll deny it to anyone who asks, make up some new, even more outrageous explanation for how he got here, but he did say yes knowing full well what he was doing.

He’s not very proud of the fact that he’s here, but it was on purpose, more or less. It’s not the way he would like to have done it, but people will know his name after tonight, or technically on Friday when this airs. The mixtape has been out for months and no one has noticed it. Months! He needs something. This is definitely not the way he thought it would happen, but this is how it is going to happen.

“Are you ready to shoot your pre thoughts?” Producer Dad asks as he beckons for the host of the show to come by. Yoongi has talked to the host like a whole two times so far, and has decided that his name is Host Uncle, because he is never content with anything that Yoongi does.

“Fuck, I mean, I guess so?”

“Please try to refrain from swearing, okay? It costs the network actual money when we have to bleep your words.”

“I’ve got to get it all out now then,” he says before doing something that would not be condoned by the network or his own mother.

“I do not get paid enough for this,” Producer Dad says before Yoongi is being put on his mark and then being counted down.

“So Yoongi, you’re about to meet twenty-five men for the first time, one of them could even be your future husband! How are you feeling?” Host Uncle asks in a news reporter sort of voice that doesn’t sound natural.

“Well, I certainly am feeling emotions,” he says, though he refuses to show any actual emotions on his face.

“What kind of emotions might those be?”

“Disbelief,” he says, “did not think I would ever be here.”

Host Uncle has a fake laugh and then misinterprets the words either intentionally or unintentionally. “It’s almost like your whole life has culminated in this moment!”

“Okay,” he says apathetically. “I’m just here to promote my mixtape.”

“Cut!” Producer Dad shouts. “Yoongi, we talked about this.”

“Sure, but I ignored you.”

“Let’s try that again, but please avoid plugging your mixtape this time, okay?”

Yoongi groans loudly. One time was painful enough and now he’s got to do it again, and he really exerted as much emotion as he was capable of exerting in that first take, which is little to none. He doesn’t think he’s going to be able to top that.

They do at least five takes. Yoongi doesn’t watch reality shows, it never occurred to him just how much of what goes on the screen is rehearsed and fake. They only let him off the hook when he goes completely over the top.

“Yes of course I’m super excited!” he says with the most insincere tone known to man, but no one seems to notice it, or maybe they’re all just so thankful that the words he’s saying aren’t negative that they’re choosing to see it as a win.

“Do you think that one of these men is going to be your soulmate?”

“Well, I sure hope so,” he says before he smiles at the camera with his cheesiest, gummiest, toothpaste commercial smile.

“It’ll have to do,” Producer Dad finally says.

“The name of my autobiography,” Yoongi mutters. “Can I eat more food now?”

Producer Dad makes an exaggerated sound of frustration, throwing his hands in the air, which Yoongi takes as a yes. He goes back to the trailer where he knows that they’re storing the food, and he then proceeds to eat his emotions away. His emotions are very hungry.

A lot of people he doesn’t know are trying to tell him things. Lots of crew members who seem like perfectly nice people but they’re talking about things he doesn’t care about so he instead decides to tune them out and think about himself instead.

What’s nine weeks? He’s been on this earth for much longer than that, he’ll be able to make it through nine weeks. He’s in a big fancy house. It may be hideous but it does nevertheless have a very good bed. He thinks lovingly of that bed for the next several minutes.

From outside the trailer, he hears Producer Dad shout, “First limo is en route!” All hell breaks loose. Everyone starts scrambling like a bomb went off. Yoongi is being dabbed off and he’s not even sweating. People are fixing his everything. Then he’s being tugged back outside to stand in front of the mansion at a dramatic angle.

He remembers that he has to start acting now. Well, maybe not "acting," but he has to prepare himself to be on camera now and for the next two and a half months. The last few days of promos and pre-interviews are just the appetizer, now it’s time for him to become what he hates. Remember Yoongi, you’re only here for the plu. You just have to make it through this with as many cheeky self-plugs as you can get. People absolutely eat up reality stars. This could be great for you.

He’s actually getting nervous. He didn’t think he was going to get nervous, but he is. It’s not nerves because he’s worried about meeting all the guys, it’s nerves because the weight of everything around him is starting to fall on his shoulders and he is not strong enough not to be crushed by it.

“The limo is going to be here in five minutes, are you ready, Yoongi?”

“I am full of regret and lots of food.”

“You just have to be personable; I know you can do it. I know somewhere in there, deep, deep, deep down, you’re not an asshole.”

“I’ve yet to find that person,” Yoongi responds, smirking.

“You’re insufferable. You know what to do, right? You only have to connect with 15 guys tonight. That’s all you have to do.”

“Run that by me one more time, chief.”

He groans out the anger that he wants to take out by smacking Yoongi across the face. “Twenty-five guys stepping out of the limo. Fifteen roses. Nine weeks. Then you pick one guy.”

“Pick him to do what?” Yoongi says, playing dumb. Producer Dad gives Yoongi a stare so intimidating that his balls shrivel back into his body. “Fuck, oh my god, I’m just kidding! Fall in love blah blah blah. I got it.”

Producer Dad then turns white as a sheet as he hears something in his headpiece. “It’s here!” The camera catches the shot as everyone runs away so as not to be seen in shot. Yoongi is left standing there, the drama of the dark night finally starting to make sense to him as he watches the limo slowly make its way to the driveway right in front of him. How cliché it would be to say his fate is behind those doors, yet too true to deny.

He doesn’t know if he has ever felt so alone and transparent in his entire life. He’s standing here, made up and plasticized. Full of annoyance and nerves and stupidity. Thinking about what he would be doing if he wasn’t here. In one of those dead-end jobs that he uses to support his nonexistent music career. No one knowing his name. But soon the scene of him standing here waiting for that door to open will be seen by the whole country.

He feels fake right now, and he knows that’s because his on-camera self thus far has been fake. He isn’t this person. He’s genuinely a nice person. He definitely needs his mouth washed out with brillo pad, but he’s a good friend, a hard worker. Here he stands feeling like an action figure bent to do The Man’s will.

The minute that the door to the first limo opens, he has a very disheartening realization. Shit. He can’t be a jackass to all of these guys. It’s just not inside of him. He wants so much to be a jackass. It would be such a pleasure. But that would not be fair. It would be so awful for this to be the very first season of this show, queer representation hoorah and then to be piece of shit to everybody. These are the people he’s going to be sharing the screen with for so many weeks, and they are real people. Real people who actually came here to find love and what they got was Yoongi taking the piss. Sure, some of them might just be in it for the fame and drama of it all, not unlike himself, but they’re still human beings.

Alright, Yoongi, what are you going to do? He decides that maybe he will make nice. He’s going to be an asshole to the camera without question but to these dudes? Who came all the way out here to find love? Putting themselves into such an uncomfortable position? That wouldn’t be fair. By no means is Yoongi going to fall in love with anyone, he has some self-respect, but he won’t be a jerk. He will try his hardest not to be.

The door opens in such a way that Yoongi cannot see who’s inside. He doesn’t mean to but Yoongi looks at the camera and makes a very nervous, and probably very cute expression. This is actually about to be real.

The first person that steps out of the limo is… a guy. Korean. Wild, who would have thought? He’s wearing a suit, it could be the exact same one as the one on Yoongi. He has two arms, two legs. Silver hair, dyed. Quite a nice texture. Looks soft. Great skin care regimen. Alright, so he’s hot. Yoongi has two eyes and a dick, he knows when someone is hot.

The distance between them can’t be more than a few yards and yet the length of time that it takes for this guy to walk up to Yoongi is centuries long. He’s quite a bit taller than him, but Yoongi is not a very large person to begin with.

He stops in front of Yoongi, neither of them is doing anything that would be defined as “smiling” but it also couldn’t be defined as anything else.

“Hi,” the other man says. Yoongi takes in a deep breath as subtly as he can. So it begins.

“Hi,” Yoongi responds. Had he meant to say more? Wow, they’re both going to be good at this.

“I’m uh, this is a really weird format to meet someone for the first time isn’t it?” he says sheepishly. Time is not progressing in the way that time usually progresses. He’s not sure if he’s entered a dream or not. It’s not that it feels magical, it just doesn’t feel grounded. He’s not really here. This isn’t really happening.

“Yes,” Yoongi says. Maybe once his mouth stops being dry, he’ll graduate to more than one syllable at a time.

“It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Yeah.” Uncomfortable silence… maybe he should mention his mixtape?

“Are you nervous?” he asks.

“I’m just awkward,” he says, smiling just a little bit to show how uncomfortable he actually is. It’s not a sincere smile. It’s a mom just told me to smile for a picture but I’m eleven and I just want to get through this vacation in one-piece smile.

“Me too. I didn’t know I would be going first. It’s a lot of pressure to say something meaningful… I guess I should tell you my name,” he says. Yes, that might help, you very pretty man. “I’m Namjoon.”

“Yoongi.” Yoongi goes in for a handshake but Namjoon misreads it, so they have an awkward hug with Yoongi’s hand in his stomach. Holy shit, he went into this hoping so much to be a serious, stoic, confident rapper promoting his mixtape, and this is Bachelor One and he already wants to hide in a sewer.

“This can only get weirder from now on,” Namjoon says with actually a really cute smile, and Yoongi doesn’t know why but those words actually comfort him a little bit. “Good luck. I hope when we talk again it’ll feel a little less terrifying.” Oh that’s right, Yoongi reminds himself that after all these introductions he has to go and have one-on-one conversations with everyone and try not to get super drunk while he does it. That’s going to be the hardest part. He wishes he had warmed up with at least something to make his posture a little less straight.

He watches as Namjoon walks past him into the house, and due to the fact that Yoongi has hormones, he looks at him as he walks past and is very sad to learn that there is no ass to speak of. Twenty-four people to go whose asses will surely be more impressive.

Now it’s round two and he’s still uncomfortable but he’s done this once so now he thinks he can handle it a little bit better. Fuck, this one is cute. This one is bubblier. The instant he steps out of the limo, his face already has a smile on it. Christ, this is a good one. So was the last one. This is already hard. There’s no way he’d have been able to be an asshole to faces like these, even if he tried.

“Jimin,” he announces after a few words. Yoongi can tell that he’s going to go in for a hug because that radiates off of this guy. It’s a nice hug. They exchange a few pleasantries. It doesn’t feel natural, but it’s not awful. Jimin walks away and Yoongi is starting to think that this might not be as disgustingly fake as he thought it would be. Jimin made it a little less extremely uncomfortable. Oh, he has very much got an ass. Yoongi makes an unconscious nod before he remembers that there’s a camera on him.

As much as he would like for it not to be true, a lot of the guys run the same as the previous. This one has black hair, but this one has black hair. That one has piercings, oh those are very nice piercings, but that one has a velvet suit jacket and that really does something for Yoongi. He remembers that he has to make it through twenty-five different people, and there are too many names to remember, so he starts assigning them letters.

“Nice to meet you A, I’m Yoongi.”

“Oh, hello B, I’m Yoongi.”

“Thank you so much for saying that C, my name is Yoongi.”

He doesn’t tell any of them that they are being given letters. That would be rude.

“Jungkook.” Okay, yeah cool, your name is L now. “Jin.” Congratulations contestant number whatever, your name is Q. Yoongi skips the letter P because he feels like that would just be cruel, especially considering that Q is unbelievably handsome.

It’s been half an hour, is he nearly done? Producer Dad shows him his fingers. Four left. Thank god. He only has to meet four more people. But then he has to go talk to all of them. But then, quite a mercy, he gets to eliminate ten of them! No need to remember them anymore. He’s got to keep the first two because they’re the only ones whose names he thinks he remembers, but other than that it’ll be a crap shoot.

“Taehyung.” Oh, his voice is deep, and Yoongi decides that he likes that. Yes, very much so. He instantly forgets the name that this man just assigned himself, but V seems to suit him quit well. Goodbye V, and yes, Yoongi looks at his ass too. But he’s gotten fairly good at being subtle about it. The viewers at home will still probably be able to tell. Maybe it will make him genuine and endearing? Maybe he’ll just be called a pig.

The next one has brown hair. A very squishy face, which Yoongi has been told he also has. The second he steps out of the limo he can tell that this one, much like the second guy who Yoongi wants to say was called Jimin, that this guy radiates something. A very bright smile, if a little nervous. He looks very good in his suit. Everyone that has walked out of the limo has looked nice and been nice, but there’s something about this one in particular that just gets right to Yoongi’s core.

“Nice to meet you,” he says, which is a phrase that Yoongi has heard countless times before, and it’s a little disappointing that that is how this one has started the conversation.

“Hello,” he says. To be fair, Yoongi’s first line hasn’t had a lot of variety either.

"Your bio failed to mention that you were this cute," he says, and gives Yoongi a respectful once-over. Yoongi refrains from rolling his eyes. “Before I say anything else, I read on your bio that you're a rapper?”

His eyes immediately sparkle. Yes! Finally, someone is asking him about it! “I am! Yes!” Is this excitement? Is that what he feels? Excitement? Let me talk about myself please!

“That’s really cool. You may be here on this weird show now, but the next minute you’ll be an idol.”

“A man can dream, right?” Yoongi says. His squishy cheeks are about to make their debut to the camera, he can just tell.

“You look like you make a good rapper,” he says. His face becomes warm. Is this blush? He’s super pale, this guy is going to be able to tell that he’s blushing.

“I have a mixtape, you should listen to it,” Yoongi stumbles a little bit on his words. He realizes that this is the first time he’s managing to get a plug in for his mixtape, so he looks at the camera quickly and says, “Agust D, check it out.”

“How about you tell me more about it when we talk later, yeah?” he says smiling. This guy can most definitely tell that Yoongi is blushing. You can read it on his face like a book. Yoongi also suspects that he knows what he’s doing. He’s so charming. He’s cute. Everyone has been cute, literally everyone, but this one complimented not just his face but also said he looks like a good rapper. Fifteen roses to give out, this guy has already earned one.

“Two left after me, but make sure I’m the one you remember, okay?” he says. Fuck. Yoongi nods, and he turns to watch him go, but then he realizes-

“Wait, you didn’t tell me your name!”

“Silly me,” he says, smiling with his soft oh-my-god-yoongi-are-you-gay? cheeks, really bright like he’s a light source and Yoongi is a flower that needs it to grow. “Hoseok.”

Alright, Hoseok. You get to have a name instead of a letter. You’ve earned it.

Also? Very nice ass.

[dxmedstudent]

Totally medically unrelated question, but if you had a crush on your childhood best friend of the same gender, and they know you're a homosexual, but you don't know much about their orientation, would you take the risk and tell them about your feelings? Why or why not?

That’s OK. This is sticking out from all the slightly more challenging ‘how do you survive medical school’ questions that are piling up (Which I WILL answer, when I can write a decent reply!). It’s a tricky one, and something many people have faced in some form or another. Do we tell someone how we feel, or do we hold back? And I guess the risks and benefits are different in each situation. Although you’re phrasing it as a question to me (what would I do if I happened to have a crush on my childhood bestie of the same gender, and why/why not would I confess), I’m going to assume this isn’t about me, but about another real person. As it is, much as though I love my closest friends and would do almost anything for them, I don’t think I could date them. Not just because I don’t happen to be attracted to them, but because I’ve never seen us as compatible like that.  So whilst I could answer the question ‘would you confess to a girl you liked who was your friend’, there would be a whole layer missing in terms of history. Confessing to a new friend is different to confessing to someone you’ve known your whole life.I’ll put the rest behind a cut, only to save anyone following for medical stuff the wall of text that is my advice. Now, I know that people will almost always just go ahead and do what they want to do, so I actually consider this ask to be a moot point. When it comes to love, we often ask advice because we want someone to confirm that what we want to do is the right thing. And if they disagree, we tend to do it anyway. At least, that’s what years of us all supporting each other IRL has taught me. So you’re not obligated to take my advice, or even read it.

Let’s start with the person you like. You don’t know everything about your crush’s sexuality; perhaps they are a little more private about what they like, and that’s OK. It’s good not to bring in too many assumptions about what they like, so I think it’s sensible not to assume. It makes me suspect that they are a private person, who keeps certain topics close to their chest. I assume that you’ve already probablyYou probably feel nervous, because it’s hard for you to tell if they could be interested, or not. I get that being part of a minority in terms of sexuality adds an extra layer of difficulty, because perhaps the likelihood is a bit less. However, even if we are of a gender someone is attracted to, there’s always the chance that they don’t feel the same way. None of us get to escape that risk of being turned down. So I don’t think their gender should necessarily be a reason for you to choose to hold back (or to tell them). Now, where it matters is whether you feel they may be homophobic. I’m hoping (for your sake) that if they’ve been your best friend since forever, and you like them a lot, that you’ve gained enough of a picture to hope that they aren’t. Your safety comes first, and I’m never going to tell you that you have to confess to someone if you’re worried about getting a response like that.Telling someone how you feel is a transformative act. It takes you down a path that you can’t choose, and makes sure that you’ll never be standing quite where you’re standing now. And it depends on how OK you are with that. Many of us have a burning need to get things off our chest, and find out what might have been. Some of us are cautious. There’s no one right answer, though what is best for us might depend on what is going on. Films teach us that we ALWAYS have to tell EVERYONE what we feel, or we might miss a beautiful relationship. But in reality we all choose whether to do something about how we feel about someone. Because life isn’t a romance film loaded to set us up with someone. And we’ve all got different criteria by which we decide whether to take the risk or not. What might be worth it for me, might not be worth it for you. The main risk of telling them is that it changes things. Sometimes we get what we want (they like us too! OMG), and sometimes we don’t get what we want. And it all depends on how we (and they) respond if it doesn’t work out. I’ve know people to stay friends afterwards. Sure, the person with the unrequited crush needs space to move on. But it doesn’t always have to mean the end of the friendship. However, it depends on the person whose feelings are unrequited. Are they able to move on? Do they have issues with entitlement. Can they honestly accept that it isn’t happening, and that instead they have a rich, valuable friendship and nothing more? Because I’ve definitely known some people who just cannot accept if someone isn’t interested, and whose friendships deteriorated because it was just too painful and difficult for them after being turned down. They demand reasons. They demand people reconsider. They tell the person that nobody can be as good for them. And it goes on. However, this kind of person isn’t likely to be happy with quietly remaining friends, either. Because it’s not what they really want, so they can end up passive aggressively taking it out, or sabotaging the person’s relationships. And that’s not fair, either. So, in some cases keeping it to yourself doesn’t really save your friendship, either. I’ve seen that, too. The main risk of not telling them is that you never get closure. You end up still close, but unable to explore an avenue that means a lot to you. Pining after someone who is actively in your life is painful and bittersweet, and makes it really hard for you to move on or consider seeing other people. Because you’re stuck with someone you care about right in front of you, who you can’t stop thinking about. It also depends on what else is going on with the best friend. I’m assuming you’re both roughly the same age, and both free to act without coersion, without one being unduly dependent on the other. If you were confessing an attraction to your friend’s mum or relatives in general, friend’s partner, your cousin, or your patient or client, your boss, or your student or teacher etc, my advice would be different (hell no, don’t go there, and give yourself some distance). I could give you a lot of increasingly random examples, but you get the picture. Even when we’re talking about people who are of age, it’s still important that there shouldn’t be a significant power differential, one party shouldn’t have to feel dependent on the other, nor should the other party be in a position of trust. Because how can someone fully consent if they feel like they have no other choice?  I’d extend that to times when it’s not appropriate to make a move. Their grandmother’s funeral? Just after they broke up? When they just got fired? Yup, they might need your support, but I feel that it’s wrong to burden someone who is struggling already, with your confession at a time that they can’t think straight and would find it difficult to tell you how they feel because you are their only source of support. I also don’t personally advise ‘confessing’ your feelings to someone who is in a monogamous relationship with someone else, whether you feel it is a happy one or not. Your ability to gauge their relationship is going to be biased, but also it should stand or fail on its own merits. I don’t believe in splitting other people up; if someone wants to leave a relationship, that should be 100% their decision, and I’ll see them when/if they are single.  But I would find it difficult to trust anyone who broke up a longterm relationship because they liked the look of me, and I wouldn’t personally like to be responsible for that kind of drama. Either you get turned down (likely) or you end up with someone leaving their partner for a mere possibility, full of baggage, and planting seeds in your minds that they just aren’t ready for commitment. And out of politeness, I’d try to steer clear of friends/colleagues’ exes. Unless it was explicitly known to be OK. Mainly because life is too short for the drama that inevitably ensues, and it will probably risk your friendship if it comes out. There’s a long list of times when you might reasonably think ‘I should probably not act on this’. Listen to your gut, if you have a reason to think it’s a bad idea, then tread carefully. I definitely don’t believe that every time we have feelings for someone has to be acted on, but rather that they are chances that we can decide to act upon, all things being equal. Overall, although it can change or even end friendships, telling someone gives you a chance; to try a relationship, to try to remain friends, or to take space and move on. It’s not a wrong answer, so long as you don’t try to force your feelings on the other person. But if you have strong reasons to believe that they don’t feel the same way (they are in a relationship, etc) or it’s inappropriate to pursue them at this point in time, then you may well choose to distance yourself and move on. Or wait. I advise against waiting, in the longterm, because people tend to want closure. But we’re all different, and sometimes we decide not to take chances, or to take them.

[utopianparadoxist]

“Jake isn’t selfish, you idiot”: A Response

So Vikomprenas has written out a pretty thorough response/criticism to much of my writing re: Active Pages and Passive Knights, and they actually make some pretty good points that I think are worth addressing. 

A lot of stuff they cite is either misunderstanding my points, missing context, or based on my own writing’s execution being flawed, so I think it’s worth clarifying a lot of it. The following is my response to their post, and as such I’ll be referring to them directly from here on in. 

First off, thanks for writing this. I appreciate people being willing to talk to me about this stuff, and even if you were kind of ornery, if most of your anger really is sourced in thinking I think Jake was actually the hypermanipulative abuser and that makes it ok, well--I get that. No hard feelings.

As such, just know the response is v much appreciated!

I’m gonna break this down into sections per character in hopes that’ll help me keep down the length. 

But first, on the Active/Passive distinction:

I’m against the lines “Yang to the wills of others” and “Yin to the wills of others”. I’d argue they should be dropped entirely. 

I’d be curious to hear why you oppose that bit specifically--I think it’s probably kind of stilted and ineffective since most people probably don’t have a strong grasp of those concepts anyway. I’m not exactly married to any particular bit of terminology, so yeah I’m willing to consider that aspect should be dropped.

I also argue that Page and Knight specifically are very close and malleable passive/active-wise, which is the main reason it’s easy to find evidence for either way.

I don’t think we disagree here as much as you think. I don’t think Page and Knight are particularly close or malleable exactly, but I do think the system as a whole incorporates malleability. Which brings me to...

Which of those do you think is closer to what you meant by saying that? Personally, I think the version with “selfless” is nonsense, but the version with “receptive” is very reasonable — and I completely agree with it. But you’ve defined passive, in the classpect sense, as much closer to “selfless” than “receptive”.

[...]

Which of those do you think is closer to what you meant by saying that? Personally, I think the version with “selfless” is nonsense, but the version with “receptive” is very reasonable — and I completely agree with it. But you’ve defined passive, in the classpect sense, as much closer to “selfless” than “receptive”.

I’m curious--did you see the part of the Class Masterpost that goes into the Lord and Muse classes? It’s totally on me if you didn’t--I added that section way after the fact, specifically because I thought it helped clarify this.

Suffice it to say, you’re right--Passive constitutes two different definitions. It’s not that I downplay one over the other exactly, but that I think the Receptive/Proactive distinction is one that can shift over time, while the Selfless/Selfish distinction is much more consistent. 

Alt!Calliope is certainly receptive to Space for untold years, but when she takes action, she exploits it knowingly--she simply does so for the benefit of others. Caliborn, meanwhile, describes himself as having to become “At ease with the forces of inevitability”, which definitely sounds like being Receptive to letting Time benefit him to me.

Hence why I stick to the primary definition of Active/Passive as being “For oneself” vs. “For others”--which can easily be parsed into Selfish/Selfless when framed as general mindsets. 

However, in this particular context, with Jake, I believe both apply. Reading Jake as receptive to whatever Dirk “Forces” him to do is part of why people read Dirkjake as abusive. Reading him as primarily motivated by making Dirk and the others happy is also part of it. 

The best way I’ve seen this put, hilariously, comes from the man himself. I don’t usually quote Hussie on stuff--I prefer to steer clear from Word of God, because by and large, I don’t think it’s necessary. But this is a pretty complicated subject, and this quote puts some ambiguity on Knights as active along with clarifying my point, so I may as well put it here.

You could also look to the passive/active nature of the classes in making some retroactive sense of the Derse/Prospit dreamer duality. Passive/active classes are also a pretty vague thing, and don’t resolve so easily into simple dualities like defensive/offensive and such. Those are the guidelines for understanding them, but there is clearly a lot of flexibility within that system. They seem to suggest tendencies rather than absolute capabilities. 

Like there isn’t a rule that says a passive class could never use an offensive technique. The system is meant to be very flexible, and in the story, classes suggest a little more about a hero’s path and role in the greater quest than what their battle capabilities are. But if we’re saying active/passive literally translates to offensive/defensive for the sake of this topic, then Derse would be very active and Prospit would be very passive. Derse’s job is to attack. Prospit’s is to defend. 

This seems to carry over to the roles of the dreamers too. Dave and Rose turned out to be very active players. Dave time traveling all over the place, making a fortune on stocks and such. Rose went on her crazy solo mission to break the game and fight Jack. 

Jade and John had more passive roles through most of that, players who were “acted upon” by other players and circumstances. John was always being led around by trolls this way and that, drifting around wherever the wind took him. Jade was especially passive for a lot of the story, spending a lot of time falling asleep (or being put to sleep) at key moments. 

It wasn’t until she reached god tier as a Witch (said to be a highly active class) that she became extremely active, making lots of stuff happen, rounding up planets and all that. Rose may have been a similar case, being excessively active as a Derse dreamer, but then flipping over to a passive role upon reaching god tier as a passive class.

Being from Derse means you are from a culture of offense and aggression. Being from Prospit means the opposite. You could argue that these are qualities that either rub off on the dreamers, or they are designated as those dreamers in the first place because of those qualities. 

You could take the view that these are innate tendencies to overcome, as seemed to be the case for Jade and Rose. Or maybe sometimes they are tendencies that are resisted, and need to be understood and embraced. 

As a Prospit dreamer, did Karkat struggle because he was actually passive in nature, but had a very active self image as a leader and conqueror? Was Vriska an even more extreme case of misplaced active behavior from a Prospit dreamer? 

These are yet more things to consider when looking at everything contributing to the hero story of an individual in this game.

Maybe that helps frame what I mean. Any player can behave Actively or Passively in terms of being self-directed or directed by others, or in terms of being proactive or being reactive--of course. People are flexible and multifaceted. But where do they shine? Where are they comfortable? What leaves them feeling fulfilled and happy? 

These are the questions I consider in proposing this system, and they don’t really dissolve into simple answers per Class--instead, the execution depends on the individual. 

Dirk is a very Active player, for example--but his happiest state of being is in being wanted and helpful to Jake specifically, and he spends most of his narrative being incredibly reactive to Hal’s behavior--a period of time in which he’s thoroughly miserable. 

Similarly, Jane is Active, but spends months tending to Jake’s emotional needs...even though she hates it and it leaves her feeling drained and unhappy. And like Rose, Karkat and Dave both grow more Passive as they get older on the meteor--Dave to the point of swearing off Time, Karkat to the point of giving up on Leadership. 

Which brings us to the characters, finally.

Tavros:

So he wants the best for his friends, but he’s not willing to just follow their instructions, preferring to figure out how best to help them himself?

When does Tavros think about his friends all that much, though? Tavros does not demonstrate the fixation on others that Knights, Sylphs, Bards, or Rogues have. He spends most of his session indulging his own personal desire, sleeping the adventure away because it’s what’s best for *him* specifically, and what *he* wants to be doing.

When Tavros reaches out to others, it’s pretty much always to get help from them in some way. 

I would argue that that’s more a matter of Vriska’s personality than it is of Tavros’s, personally — Vriska consistently giving away that she’s not all that comfortable with how hellish their world is, as much as she’d like to pretend otherwise — but analyzing Vriska is well past what I’m trying to do with this.

In your own words: Why not both? When a character showcases the ability to get pretty much every other character to help him in some way or another, and is part of a Class that *also* demonstrates that pattern, it seems kind of weird to remove their influence entirely from one particular case of...a character wanting to help them. Events in Homestuck are regularly caused by more than one thing.

Taking it doesn’t make him a selfish person, it makes him normal. Incidentally, it makes perfect sense for him to be more selfish when dealing with Vriska than he usually is. He’s rebounding from abuse, of course he runs the risk of going unusually far in the other direction. 

It feels like you’re putting a moral prerogative on Selfishness that I actively argue against, and that does not innately exist. Tavros being selfish about this doesn’t mean his contribution is worthless or compromised--it just means he was largely thinking about his own satisfaction and methods while making it. 

Vriska does the same thing, and nobody denies that she’s effective and adds value to the team at various points. Ditto Jade. 

Also, you ignored the part where Tavros immediately followed up the Ghost Army by getting something he wanted in his introduction out of Meenah. By talking her up, much the same way the other Pages do. It’s important to keep track of those consistent behavior patterns. 

Much later, it also allows him to build the army which is crucial to English’s defeat — after all, I doubt he would be particularly inspiring if he were still in a wheelchair. Any Prospit dreamer could easily have seen this in a cloud. Like, say, Kanaya, who conveniently enough also happens to be directly involved in the amputation. 

Holy shit, I am not touching that. Homestucks’ kind of bad treatment of disability aside (and you’re wrong by the way), are you arguing that Kanaya’s clouds could have shown her visions of *the very end of the story, in the Dream Bubbles*? 

Because...no. We have no evidence of that. 

The clouds have never shown events in the Horrorterror’s domain before as far as I can recall, and such reasoning would need to be justified in the story to make any sense anyway. 

As long as we’re indulging each other on being harsh, I can’t believe how bad this argument is. Tavros robolegs don’t even factor into building the army!

 Tavros can walk in the dream bubbles because he DIED AND IS A GHOST, it has nothing to do with his robolegs, he could’ve been evaporated into molecules and he’d still be able to walk and stuff as a ghost because he’s...dead!! Tavros exists as he imagines himself in the bubbles, this was an established thing! 

The end impact of Tavros’ robolegs are that Tavros benefits because he enjoys being able to walk. That’s literally it. Moving on. 

Dave:

This is using “passive” as “receptive” again, but even besides that, it’s just a matter of being a Time player — or anyone in Sburb, really, but Time players have it hardest by far since they’re the ones with actual time powers. I can’t see this as a sign that Knights are passive without extending it to mean that all Time players are passive, which goes against the fundamentals of the class system as Calliope described them. 

This is demonstrably untrue. It’s true all Time players will largely have to comply with loops or die, but Dave by and large managed to keep to his loops incredibly well. 

Contrast with Aradia--who exploited her own tendency to break loops to end up with thousands of copies of herself, and went on to use Time entirely for her own benefit besides after God Tiering, and who has additional Time-based psychic powers even beyond that.

Also contrast with Damara, who actively broke timelines just to hurt the other players--an extremely willful and selfish use of her Aspect, to be sure. All of the Time players must comply with loops on pain of death. That doesn’t mean they all will, or that they’ll do so the same way. 

The scene you linked reads fairly clearly to me exactly opposite of how you’ve read it. Dave simply ignores John telling him that he doesn’t care to hear rap at that moment, and raps anyway. Actually, you later describe a very similar eventas “overwhelm[ing] Tavros with a time-consuming and epically sassy document”. I don’t doubt that doing this to Tavros was far more intentional and malicious than it was to John, but it’s basically the same thing happening.

Uh… you’re giving examples of Dave forcing his aspect on others, and overwhelming them with it. This is exactly the opposite of Karkat refusing to offer his aspect to others. They’re not at all comparable.

I mean, you could read them both more generally as Knights picking and choosing where to send their aspect, but that could be done selfishly or selflessly, and both of these uses are selfish.

Basically. Here, I’m arguing for the use of the verb “Serve” as the delivery of rhetorical defeat. Karkat is “serving” Eridan by cutting off their former bond, Dave is “serving” Tavros by overwhelming him. Don’t know that I’d call Karkat’s behavior selfish, since he’s motivated by thinking about Feferi and Kanaya. 

I’m not sure I’d stand by the John case, in retrospect--all I’m trying to say is Dave is prone to giving his friends his Time, whether they want it or not. That’s not Passive behavior in the sense of receptiveness, but it is indicative of his focus on others. 

I personally read this as him being pushed into a passive persona (note, once again, the persona contrasts its owner in the passive-active dimension) by necessity — after all, someone needed to take care of the minutiae, Dave happened to be well-equipped for it powers-wise, and it already jibes with his persona being cool, collected, and capable of solving problems. And again, I want to stress that Dave certainly isn’t doing this illegitimately or deceptively — only that it’s not necessarily his default position.

This would make sense, if Dave getting healthier and more at ease with himself coincided with him getting more Active. But it doesn’t. Dave coming into his own coincides with him getting more Passive in an activity sense--much like Karkat and Rose. 

It certainly doesn’t diminish the fact that Dave’s focus is consistently on others--the group--rather than himself. This is also true of both Karkat and Latula. 

Karkat:

Actually, here’s a thought. What if the persona is the relationship-aid role? He does quite a bit less of that later in the story, and it would fit the idea that personas oppose their players on the passive-active spectrum as well — leadership can be selfish or selfless, but helping others with their relationships inherently can’t be selfish… Food for thought.

He doesn’t do that less at all. He focuses his behavior in that regard pretty much exclusively on Dave, is all--who sorely needs it. Dave specifically comments on and singles out Karkat above his friends in talking to Dirk and talks about how instrumental having people who cared about him was in helping him understand his own abuse and how to have relationships. 

He also pretty much defaults to engaging in the same behavior with John and Terezi, which notably calms him down. 

As for the leadership thing...did we read the same comic?

DAVE: just wondering how you felt about vriska usurping your leadership role DAVE: and if maybe you wanted to throw a vintage shitfit about that or... KARKAT: OH! KARKAT: OH!!!!! KARKAT: HAHA! KARKAT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! KARKAT: THAT'S A GOOD ONE DAVE! KARKAT: WOW! HAHA, HA, HAHAHAHA! ME LEADER?? TOO FUNNY! KARKAT: I AM ENTIRELY AND SINGULARLY BAFFLED THAT IT COULD STILL EVEN *OCCUR* TO ANYONE TO ENTERTAIN THE NOTION THAT I MIGHT STILL BE PLAYING *ANY* ROLE EVEN WITHIN SNIFFING ORBIT OF A LEADERSHIP POSITION OF THIS RIDICULOUS PARTY. KARKAT: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I DID *ANYTHING* OF A LEADER-LIKE NATURE, WITHOUT BEING TRUMPED BY VRISKA'S MACHIAVELLIAN LIMELIGHT GLUTTONY? KARKAT: OR FOR THAT MATTER, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THERE WAS ACTUALLY ANYTHING LEADERY *TO* DO, THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE SNUGGLING UP ON THE COUCH TO WATCH "GOOD LUCK CHUCK" FOR THE FIVE HUNDREDTH TIME?!

Karkat is not acting like a leader for most of the retcon timeline. This is in fact a huge point of grievance for many Karkat fans. 

I’ll say this much: I think it’s pretty much canon Karkat takes up a leadership role again, and I don’t think being a Passive player implies an inability to take on that mantle--Roxy and John are both described as leaders, and both are passive players too. 

But it seems implied to be one focused on relationships and society building rather than ruthless combat and victory over enemies, which seems fitting, because that’s always where Karkat struggled. It’s also easy to think he’d be a terrifically effective leader if he responded to people’s wills more and took them into account rather than imposing his own will. 

Both of which are fitting, because those were p much Karkat’s weaknesses in the first place. 

Actually, I honestly don’t get how you could think that at all. Karkat, throughout the story, spends a lot of time openly leading people, not just “Allowing” things. I honestly don’t understand why you could read him as “Allowing” anywhere near as much as he actively exerts his will.

I’m talking about instances Karkat seems to use his actual Blood *powers*. Dropping Sollux down the stairs is one example, establishing a Bond with Jack Noir is another. He resolves the conflict with Gamzee by entering a relationship with him, and resolves the conflict with Clover by making him *want* Karkat in a relationship. 

I think it would be significantly more lucky for Clover to not get distracted by stupid sexy Karkat — after all, he does have a job to do — but let’s call back to Act 5 Act 1, where Karkat runs a virus Sollux wrote, and then we get told that “Karkat and his friends and everyone they would ever meet thereafter would experience great misfortune on account of the curse” that the virus placed on them.

Pretty sure I’ve written about this. First off, Clover isn’t particularly noted as giving a shit about the job, and he’s described as being motivated to flirt with pretty much anything that moves--so I disagree. 

Kanaya questions the virus’ effectiveness in a pesterlog with Vriska, for one thing. And the bad luck virus is literally never mentioned or drawn attention to again, which...if it was relevant this far in, would be pretty poor storytelling. 

In any case, Karkat’s behavior already fits into a pattern of resolving conflict through forming or inspiring relationships, so I don’t really see a reason to overcomplicate Clover’s plot beat with an unmentioned virus when Classpects and Occam’s razor already explain it neatly. 

Jake:

Pretty much the entirety of your approach to my writing on Jake is based on a reading of him I advanced through poor execution, and then immediately regretted and took back. You seem to be basing it quite heavily on the piece on Jake’s relative intelligence, which I’ve posted about disliking in retrospect several times, including at the very beginning of Serving, Service and Ownage.

My view of Jake is not that he’s callously manipulating Jane OR Dirk. I’m not gonna comment on your rough timeline much, mostly because it’s pretty plausible, although there’s nothing in the text to really suggest he’s exactly panicking much.

It doesn’t really change anything though. Whatever Jake’s exact mental processes, he prioritizes his own desire to avoid confrontation even when he *knows*, for a *fact*, it requires sacrificing Jane’s emotional well-being, and does so for months. 

As you said yourself, Brain Ghost Dirk *is* Jake, and knows the truth, so Jake recognizes what he’s doing is wrong on some level. Still, his fear of confrontation leads him to ignore it. And he uses his ability to convince himself to believe anything to do so. 

Do I think he’s hyperaware of this and using it maliciously because No One’s Feelings Matter? No. I think Jake loves the hell out of Jane. All I’m arguing is that because Jake loves Jane a lot, his immediate response is to want to find a solution where he doesn’t have to hurt her feelings or let her down--and that ends up looking like Jake choosing to believe Jane never had feelings for him all along.

It’s not some hypercompetent display of malicious insight, and it’s not Jake being totally brainless either. It’s a teenage kid being shortsighted and scared of confrontation and handling his friendships badly as a result. 

Still, Jake is neither taking Jane’s feelings/needs primarily into account, nor is he being reactive and go with the flow here. By either definition, Jake is behaving Actively. That’s the important takeaway. 

I would personally say that Jake’s Adventurer Persona would be a pretty textbook active player if it were real.

Cool, except that part of Jake’s persona is a constant awareness of others that does actually come to Passive players but which he explicitly lacks:

Like Tavros’ general personal of hapless affability, Jake’s persona also allows him to get away with things he’d normally be held accountable for. Hence the point. By seeming passive and reactive in the extreme, Jake is able to indulge his own will to the maximum. 

Not saying he does it on purpose--the same way I don’t think Dave or Karkat are misleading anyone in setting up personas that are very active and in control in order to get others to rely on them. But it is the end result. 

This reading of Dirk and Jake’s relationship is utterly appalling. It’s no better than the one you spent four essays arguing against, and shipping it is just as reprehensible.Let’s recap. In a four–part essay series (with which I wholeheartedly agree), you describe a reading of Homestuck where Dirk manipulates Jake throughout their relationship, with no regard to what Jake wants or needs, and lay out all the ways in which this reading is flat-out wrong.

And now, you’ve just declared that you think their relationship is exactly the same thing in reverse.

No, don’t deny it. You’ve just explicitly stated that, as you see it, Jake’s only motivation for anything he does with Dirk is to get what he (Jake) wants out of it, ignoring everything Dirk needs. Actually, you’ve gone further — by reading Dirk as trying to live up to the image of Dave (who you still read as selfless, of course), you’ve implicitly established a dynamic where Dirk is far more vulnerable to this manipulation from Jake than Jake ever could have been to it from Dirk.

There is no reason that reading Jake as the abuser here makes a relationship with this dynamic any healthier. At all. Fortunately, Jake isn’t an abuser.

I will say, if this is the source of your heated approach to this, I understand. I will readily admit I kind of overstated things with Jake, at least partly because I’m--as I’ve readily admitted--so motivated by countering the popular perception of Dirk as an abuser. 

That said, all I attempted to describe in the section you quoted is why Jake fell in love with Dirk in the first place. Obviously, all the Alphas have made mistakes that they need to overcome in order to understand each other properly and treat each other well. 

I’m not arguing that Jake can’t and shouldn’t ever think about other people’s feelings--including Dirk’s--and take them into account in living his life. What I am arguing is simply that Jake’s canonically established love for Dirk is rooted in Jake feeling that he personally benefits from Dirk’s company, which runs a pretty strong counter to Dirk as abuser discourse. 

The fact that Jake and Dirk both fell into self-loathing and took the OTHER extreme--choosing to stay away from others--by the end of the story should tell you that Jake’s made some of that growth, though. 

As does the Masterpiece, where--as you stated--Jake acts to save Dirk’s life. That said, is every act done for another innately linked to selflessness? What do we make of Jade saving the entire session, in that case? Or Vriska wanting to fight Bec Noir to protect the others?

So if your view is rooted in me thinking that Jake does not and need not ever take Dirk into account, well--rest assured, that’s not what I think. I’ve written novel-length fanworks expressing otherwise, lmao.

Still, That’s down to poor execution on my end to some extent, to be sure. But if you’re writing thoroughly researched responses to people’s work I do suggest you try to take into account elements of it which they might have discredited.

If your premise is that Jake valuing Dirk being helpful to him is inherently predatory, though...no. It isn’t. Relationships are posited on give and take, and both Jake and Dirk get valuable things out of their relationship. 

For Dirk, that’s a sense of worth and goodness that he struggles with holding on to--he values that Jake believes in him, explicitly. For Jake, it’s that Dirk makes him feel safe and cared for. That’s all I was getting at. 

Sorry I didn’t make that clearer, for what it’s worth, because it’s a completely valid issue to take. My language falling onto the other extreme in counteracting Dirk as abuser discourse has been an issue before, but of course the ideal--and in my view, canonical--scenario is for them to reach a healthy balance with open communication. This is true of all relationships. 

I’ve already explained why I think that Jake is fundamentally a selfless person. But I’ll call up one more example specifically relevant to this point.

Tricksters are essentially the very core of a personality placed in an environment where it can never be unhappy again. When Jane becomes a Trickster, she immediately runs to Jake. Selfishly. She turns Jake Trickster as well, and guess what his basest personality turns out to work to do above all else?

Pleasing literally everyone who ever wanted him.

Yes, because Jake doesn’t want confrontation and already stated he’d been open to considering relationships with all his friends. Jane initially raises an objection to Roxy marrying Jake in that sequence, and Jake presses the issue to convince her. 

Jake is A) Attracted to all his friends and B) invested in the approach that solves all problems without causing conflict or unhappiness, because he’s personally frightened by the prospect. I don’t think it’s as simple as Jake just looking to make everyone else happy, is what I’m saying. 

While we’re at it, Roxy selfishly tries to steal Dirk, too, but she’s explicitly Passive. The tricksters are more complicated than just being the Alpha’s “True Selves”--Jane is the exception, not the rule. 

Finally, re: Jake saving Jane and Dirk

There’s not even any room for interpretation — not wanting to disappoint others is obviously selfless.

No...it isn’t? Do you not want to disappoint others out of a desire to live up to their expectations, or because you want to avoid judgment and confrontation? Those are pretty different motivations. One can obviously also be motivated by a mix of both. 

I’ll agree the rest of my execution is muddled and comes off pretty weak, though. It’s largely an attempt to contextualize Jake’s behavior in the context of his past--explicitly selfish--behavior, but I’m not even sure that that’s necessary. 

Someone can act selfishly at some times and selflessly at others, and Jake’s behavior for the majority of the narrative is self-centered. 

Dirk’s in particular is still questionable, given that the Masterpiece is immensely coded as being indicative of Caliborn demonstrating some blackrom attraction to Dirk, in which case even a degree of jealousy makes sense.

But whichever way you read Jake’s motivation, his behavior is pretty simply Active--he doesn’t really give anyone Hope, he doesn’t buff or empower anyone else. He gets really pissed off that Caliborn is beating up his boyfriend--the possessive language in explicit in the comic--and beats Caliborn in turn, using Hope as a weapon to do so. 

Once you establish that Pages can exploit that aspect as well as Knights can, it becomes a matter of taking stock of trends. Knights spend most of their time throughout the narrative thinking about others or advancing other’s wills. Pages spend most of their time thinking about themselves or advancing their own wills. That’s all I’m getting at.