#but I/T toxic yaoi gives me life

[melibemusca]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Tetris Spoilers Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: I Tetrimino/T Tetrimino, S Tetrimino/Z Tetrimino, T Tetrimino/S Tetrimino/Z Tetrimino Characters: T Tetrimino, S Tetrimino, Z Tetrimino, I Tetrimino Additional Tags: Workplace Sex, Polyamory, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Post-Mission, Z has issues, and the others are not exactly paragons of emotional or mental stability, Angry Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Orgasm Delay, Dom/sub Undertones, Everything is consensual, but please do not mistake these for healthy relationships, or a healthy workplace for that matter, Porn with Feelings, these pieces do actually care about each other, Rough Sex 

-

The sound of a chair being beaten to pieces echoed throughout the office.

In the break room, T sighed over their flavorless ramen. It had been hours since the team had returned from their latest mission, and Z’s tantrum showed no signs of abatement.

“Couldn’t he have locked himself in a room with fewer breakable objects?” they asked.

“He’d certainly get around to breaking himself quicker that way,” observed S. It was impossible to tell from her tone if she considered that a good or a bad thing. She uncapped a pink Sharpie and began adding nipples to the anthropomorized goose she’d doodled on the table yesterday.

T groaned and stood up. S glanced at their ramen. “If you’re not going to finish that, can I have it?”

T handed over their chopsticks, then walked down the hall to the meeting room where Z had holed up. “It’s me,” they called through the door. “You can unlock it, or I can use the key.”

The office’s master key was usually in I’s pocket, but T had palmed it the last time they’d had I’s cock down their throat. No answer came from inside the room, so they pulled out the key and opened the door.

Z huddled on the floor in a heap of broken chairs, hands over his face, looking even smaller than usual.

“Hey now,” said T, with a flash of real concern. They knelt and put an arm around his shoulders, despite the risk of a being repaid with a broken nose. “We’re out of it, okay? The mission’s over.”

“I fucked up.” Z’s voice was a rasping croak.

“We all fuck up sometimes.”

Z lifted his head. T felt a little guilty for thinking how beautiful he looked, with mascara running down his cheeks and lips bitten red. “I hate being buried.”

T nodded. After so many missions, it had happened to all of them, but rarely as badly as to Z today, lost under layer after layer of smothering clones. S eventually used every explosive she had, plus a few she’d invented, to blast through to him, and T slid in to finish the job, but they’d seen Z’s face right before the end. He’d gone catatonic.

Z bared his teeth. “I hate being useless. Helpless.”

He spat the words at T as if it were their fault. They nodded again, fingers toying with the ruffle of his sleeve, and offered, “I can be the helpless one now, if you like.”

(read the rest on AO3)

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[terubakudan]

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi - Book Review and Impressions

(light reflection) Perfect :D Hoping Tumblr doesn't flag me for this xD

Ok, I'm going to start this off with 'this is probably the first and only book review I'm going to do' xD Because I rarely do read books now, and just as rarely buy them. Also, I would have preferred to buy the English version but alas they only had the Chinese version in stock ^^"

Stumbling upon this on the Internet, I was immediately compelled to buy this, as if I knew I would love it and that Nagata's story would resonate with me.

【Short Version】 I can't recommend this book enough, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are or from what culture are you. Nagata makes sure to tell an honest and 'naked' (without embellishments) portrait of her own personal experiences. How she herself is a college drop-out (having only graduated from high school), pushed herself to live/work while struggling with depression and eating disorders, not being sure of what she wants and feeling that she doesn't 'deserve' things, realizing her own sexuality in that she likes girls, and just not feeling 'good enough'...all through her cutesy and unassuming art style.

I will say again though, cutesy art style aside, the book deals with some very heavy topics. Nagata is very honest and doesn't shy away from the gritty details, and I admire her all the more for doing so. Many yaoi and yuri comics often portray an unrealistic and fetishistic view of the LGBTQ+ community whereas Nagata's story is much more grounded and sincere. This is not an easy read, but it's not an overly depressive one either. Nagata literally struggled for years with her mental health, but ultimately found light on the other side. Not mainly through the help of others, but through her own choice to forgive and love herself.

5/5⭐ Definitely recommend and would read again. And if I could, I'd give Nagata a big hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' for sharing her story.

【Long Version】 While it's written primarily from an Asian (particularly Japanese) perspective, Nagata's experiences are ones that should resonate with anyone who has been through the same or similar things, regardless of one's personal background. And I myself, while being fortunate enough to not have gone through eating disorders or self harm, am no exception.

I grew up in an Asian (Taiwanese/Chinese Filipino) household, while my parents weren't Tiger Parents (no offense but fuck Amy Chua for thinking that's a proper way of raising your children), they still had certain expectations on their children: to find a good husband/wife, have a good education, have a 'stable' career, etc. And while I love my parents very much, I'd be lying if I said there weren't any times where I felt they were smothering me, there weren't any times where they kept on nagging and bugging me for very trivial details. My biggest pet peeve: guilt-tripping me just for wanting to spend time alone.

"For me, my parents' opinion of me is absolute." (NOTE: While I won't be providing exact translations of the excerpts I used here, I'll do my best to summarize the gist of them.)

At the same time, I cared very much about their opinion of me. I made it a point to do well in school, to do things according to their wishes, and just like Nagata, I didn't know what I wanted. This even extended to caring about others' opinion of me, more than my own. In my freshman year of college, I 'went along' with being friends with someone, who while was nice to me, turned out to be a manipulative bitch skilled in passive-aggressiveness xD Being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, it was hard to fit in since people always treated me differently, it didn't occur to me I could be choosy with friends, I thought as long as they were 'nice' to me, that would do.

Asian culture is largely a collective one, where we define ourselves by our relationships with others, compared with Western culture (primarily America, I'll be using America as a reference point) where individualism is absolute, where you define yourself as you like. In Asia, it's also normal for children to still live in the same house as their parents well into adulthood, compared with Americans who are expected to move out the house once they finish high school or start college, and they're quite literally 'on their own', having to pay their own tuition, rent, etc. Where I live (Taiwan), it's normal for adults to continue relying on their parents financially well until college. Nagata for instance, while saying her parents really make her feel so pressured, is grateful that she still had a home to stay in (and she's 28!).

If you ask me though, neither a collectivist culture or an individualist culture is absolutely good nor bad. Each have their own pros and cons, and both Asian culture and Western culture could learn a thing or two from each other.

After going through quite a few job applications, one of the interviewers tells her "Ganbatte!" (You can do it!) after Nagata tells her what she really wants is to be a manga artist.

And sometimes that's all we need really, a small gesture or kind remark can do wonders. Even if there's no base or reason for it, it's something worth believing in.

I often have doubts if I'm doing what I really want, if I chose the right major for college, if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm 'good enough'. I didn't grow up with much self-esteem as a kid, and often derived my value from others. But even at my lowest times, a 'you're doing ok' was very reassuring to me, be it from family, strangers, or people I care about. Sometimes that's exactly what we need, it may be small but it could be the difference between continuing to wallow in depression or re-evaluating and choosing to be better to oneself.

I find it's really important to know, that however alone you may feel sometimes, there are other people out there going through the exact same thing. It's something universal, and while a lot of things are really unfair in life, each person has their own lot or burden to deal with. I have a Taiwanese friend who, while being more financially well-off than me, has terrible parents. And I mean parents who are quite so literally toxic, unsupportive of her, and would outright say the worst things to their own daughter.

How depression and anxiety can feel sometimes, we can literally feel like it's impossible to breathe and be in a state of disconnection from the world.

"The sounds that invaded my ears occupied my empty brain, making me unable to think at all."

If you only did what your parents asked you to do, wouldn't days like those be very painful? In the end, only you can understand what you really want.

Nagata's art style is one I would describe as simple, cute, and effective. I personally think had her story been drawn in a more serious style, it would have been even harder to read, much less finish. It's also a choice that has artistic appeal to me, serious subject matter juxtaposed with a 'kawaii' art style.

Nagata also depicts very well her mental state and thoughts throughout her struggle and journey to self-actualization. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, and sometimes we don't even realize that we have it or if we do, refuse to acknowledge it. In Asian cultures especially, mental health has always been something of a taboo subject and there is a very heavy social stigma associated with it. Nagata herself even said that her parents seemingly refused to acknowledge that their daughter's mental health was in a state of distress. In Japan, there is a concept called gaman (我慢), which is described as 'enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity', and while it is portrayed as an ideal virtue that inspires perseverance, it can be a source of heavy pressure for others. Gaman also means that you are expected to suppress whatever emotion or negative feelings you have, often for the sake of others and no matter how tough the situation becomes for you. And while I agree that through gaman you can become more selfless for others, it shouldn't have to come at the expense of your own well-being.

I was quite fortunate to have grown up in a more liberal Asian household, but even when it came to mental health, our family also adopted the same kind of attitude towards it, by carrying on as if nothing was wrong, or just not talking about it. And to be honest, there were numerous times I wished we had been more open about what was bothering ourselves at that time. Talking and being open about your feelings is not a 'weakness' but something incredibly brave to do, and it's my wish for that to slowly become more acceptable in Asian cultures, which I know is kind of a stretch, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Nagata makes the decision to clean herself up, by taking a bath everyday, habitually exercising, and no longer wearing worn-out clothes.

Depression especially can be a bitch. It deprives you even of your physiological needs, like your need for food. Nagata had to struggle with that on top of eating disorders for a long ten years. She ate so little and even felt that she didn't 'deserve' to eat, and at one point, anorexia became hyperphagia, and she would feel so guilty for eating almost expired/expired food. Things that would otherwise be simple to do also end up becoming difficult/impossible to do, like taking care of your personal hygiene, getting up from bed, doing simple tasks etc.

Thankfully, after Nagata realizes that she never truly 'valued herself', she starts to turn over a new leaf. Even just starting with cleaning herself up, she takes this as a form of 'valuing oneself' and her mood starts to improve, which her family also points out. In the end, taking care of yourself is not a selfish thing to do, it can even make you a better person who is there for others.

Nagata meets up with the female escort she hired, as a means to experience human sexuality, which she had always repressed her curiosity for and treated as a taboo subject. (NOTE: And I'm glad that she met a really nice girl for her first time too!)

Sex and sexuality is also a subject that I feel is hard to talk about sometimes, which I think also owes itself to most Asian cultures being relatively conservative about it. I myself have only recently identified as bisexual, which I attribute to internalized homophobia, not wanting to admit I was into girls too. And to be honest, 'coming out' is something I'm still uncomfortable about, because I don't want to risk my relationship with my family and it's still something I would choose to be selective about with colleagues and friends. I'm grateful though that as crazy the Internet can be sometimes, it can be quite accepting and tolerant towards things that we wouldn't otherwise discuss with even the closest people in our circle. Nagata's memoir ended up capturing the hearts of many readers ever since she first published it on Pixiv.

Exploring your sexuality doesn't have to be scary, it should be something exciting and liberating. Nagata decided to take matters into her own hands, and while the days leading up to the encounter made her really nervous and she even considered not going through with it at all, she willed herself to continue, because she wanted to do this for herself, it would be pointless if she gave up after coming so far in her decision to value herself.

And it's these series of actions that she decided to do that ultimately led to her life turning out for the better, it gave her the courage to do what she always wanted: to be a manga artist, which lead to the publishing of this autobiographical memoir, something she wanted to create that would 'make people want to buy this book' and from her own preference for reading stories that 'speak of secrets people wouldn't want to tell others'.

Nagata mentions what she calls 'honey': something that varies from person to person. It could be your reason for living, that thing that drives/pushes you, or even your sense of belonging. It may not be something permanent, but you can always find yourself a new one. (she mentions the last time she had her 'honey' was during her high school days, and while she has grown apart from the friends she made, she has found her new 'honey' in the form of being a full-time manga artist.)

Nagata stumbles and trips a lot on her way to being a better version of herself, but who doesn't? She admits to things not necessarily being smooth, but at least she's doing better than before. And it's that decision to at least try that counts. We don't have to be perfect, we're all human after all.

TL;DR My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness is a honest, down-to-earth, and ultimately hopeful memoir about the struggles of mental health and learning about one's sexuality. It's an amazing book, and very much worth the buy.

A big thank you if you read through all of this too. I know it's a mess and writing isn't exactly my strong point, but hopefully I've convinced some people out there to give this book a read! Please feel free to share your thoughts and I'd appreciate it very much too if you reblog/like this post.

[cameoamalthea]

illegalslothings:

I think the one thing that  miffs me about certain fujosji is the toxic views some have on gay relationships and often many women who write fanfiction have some very.. misinformed ideas?? And some of them tend to fetishize gay men (reguardless or not if they're lesbians or straight women) I USED to be one of these types of people and i didn't realize how damaging my ideas and 'fetishizing' was until I was in my early 20s. Just some food for thought

Thank you for your response. I can understand how you feel that way. Especially given that plenty of fujoshi are teenagers on the internet and teens can be obnoxious. There are annoying fans and plenty of bad fanfiction (especially if it’s written by people without much experience, but hey, safer for girls to explore sexuality and make mistakes in a story than exploring with another person where they could get hurt). 

I get what you mean about problems in yaoi. And honestly, it’s the same problems I see in a lot of het romance (and sometimes gay romance made by and for guy male audiences, like I was into Gravitation at the same time I was into Queer as Folk re-runs, there were overlapping tropes and overlapping problems).

However, I’m hoping that maybe I can give you some food for thought too. And please bare with me as my responses tend to be very long and tangental but I want to talk about this...

First, could you define “fetishizing” because I’ve seen the term used simply to mean ‘women thinking something is hot”. 

Kant’s take on sexual morality was that any sexual attraction is objectifying (or fetishizing, I suppose, since fetishizing and objectifying seems to be used interchangeably in the discourse. Kant’s reasoning that sexual attraction "makes of the loved person an Object of appetite. . . . Taken by itself it is a degradation of human nature" (Lectures on Ethics, p. 163) Source.

The idea is if you think someone or something is hot you’re not treating them as people and just as something to ‘get off to’. Therefor, any and all sexual attraction is evil.

I agree with Kant insofar as physical attraction is objectifying someone, but disagree that it’s inherently wrong.

Rather, I think  sexual morality hinges on consent. If you treat someone as an object without their consent, that is wrong. If a guy asks me invasive questions about my sex life or harasses me and the girl I’m with because ‘lesbians are hot’ or ‘I love bisexuals’. He’s trying to use to me to fulfill a sexual fantasy without my consent and it’s creepy and wrong.

Using people without their consent is always wrong.

Him finding the idea of two women together hot doesn’t really effect me because it doesn’t involve me.

Consent is also a two sided coin. No means no, but yes means yes. It means that if I want to do something, either on my own or with other consenting adults, I’m allowed to do so...

I reject the idea that how other people who aren’t involved might feel about it negates the right of an individual to consent.

If I decide to hold hands with another woman in public or kiss her and it makes some people uncomfortable, that’s not my problem. They’re not involved. Our relationship is between us.

If I decide to write a romance story between two guys for other women or rp as a guy with another woman and it makes some people uncomfortable, that’s also not my problem. Again, they’re not involved. Everyone involved is consenting, whether consenting to read or to play. 

The fujoshi community is for the most part women exploring their sexuality with other women in a women dominated space. 

If a woman sexually harasses anyone, man or woman, then that of course is wrong, because there’s no consent. That’s what harassment means, doing something to someone without their consent and/or in spite of their clear lack of consent. 

Note, consent is between the people involved. 

If I cosplay a guy from Ouran High School Host Club and give roses to girls and consensually pose somewhat suggestively with my cosplay partner to make them happy, everyone involved consents and there is no problem. 

If someone sexually harasses cosplayers, demands they do poses they’re not comfortable with...that’s a problem. 

If someone sees us cosplaying two guys and posing with our arms around each other and is uncomfortable...that’s not my problem. 

I just can’t agree with the idea that consensual activity is wrong because it makes people who aren’t involved feel uncomfortable. 

Whether a sexual act (sexual used here to mean any activity linked to sexual attraction) is moral hinges on consent between those involved, not how other people feel about it. 

Their feelings are valid, they may be genuinely uncomfortable, but feelings aren’t facts. Something making you (a general you) uncomfortable doesn’t make it wrong. 

Again, plenty of straight girls might be uncomfortable with me because ‘what if I liked them, that would be gross’ but me existing as a person who likes girls or expressing that I like girls in general isn’t actually a threat to them. Me liking something doesn’t = being predatory, attraction doesn’t = sexual harassment.

And the same goes for me liking guys or the idea of being a guy in a relationship with another guy. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I support criticizing media.

It’s important to critique media. Media reflects culture. By criticizing how relationships in media present predatory behavior as romantic can help us to pause and question where is this idea coming from?

As a romance fan (someone who read and wrote  romance, since like, middle school) - I will say that there are issues with the romance genre as a whole. Like any issue with the yaoi genre also exists in the romance genre because yaoi is still a subset of romance. The romance genre is full of toxic and unhealthy views of relationships (sometimes that’s the point, sometimes it seems the authors don’t understand when behavior is creepy as opposed to romantic). 

However, harmful messages in media don’t exist in a vacuum. They reenforce or subvert harmful ideas that exist in culture. So lesbian porn where the plot is a straight man turns lesbians straight should be criticized in light of reenforcing the idea that all women exist to please men and should want men and be available, even lesbians. Meanwhile, gay porn where the plot is a gay man turns a straight man gay doesn’t really reenforce anything.

Gay men don’t have the power to oppress straight men. Gay men’s fantasies about straight men can’t reenforce oppressive ideas because straight men aren’t oppressed.

Likewise, I don’t really think porn made by women about men can oppress men. Women don’t have societal power over men. Lesbians do not hold any privilege over gay men.

Rather, men have ‘male privilege’ which may be part of the draw of yaoi for lesbians. The opportunity to explore sexuality while using a male avatar. To explore sexuality with the baggage that comes with female sexuality (am I writing this character too slutty, will people hate her for it, what if they think this is me, what if I get sexually harassed for posting about sex things- Things you think about if you’re a woman writing porn that involves women that vanish if you write about men instead). And that’s besides the fact that in fandom content most characters in mainstream media are men and the most developed canon relationships tend to be between men. 

Lesbians ‘fetishizing’ gay men? Women fetishizing the idea of being a man/maleness? 

I just don’t see how lesbians have the power to harm gay men by reading, writing or drawing porn about men. 

Or see how whether something is harmful depends on the gender. So if my husband does “rabid fangirl’ things, it’s not fetishization but if I do...it is?

Also, what about non-binary people and intersex people? I have PCOS, which is a form of intersex and sort of makes my gender identification shift depending on how much T I have in my system in a given time. Sometimes, I want to present as male and feel more comfortable as a guy. Most of the time I identify as a woman. (And sometimes I’m a sobbing mess of double dysphoria). 

So like...if I like yaoi while I feel like a guy it’s fine, but if I do it while I’m feeling more like a girl it’s fetishizing?

I just question any logic that boils down to ‘it’s only bad if girls do it’. Which I see a lot of...

That doesn’t mean we can’t criticize girls for bad behavior. If you treat real people badly or treat non-consenting third parties like they should be your sex toys, that’s absolutely not acceptable. But thinking about boys or reading bad romance stories about boys isn’t hurting anyone.

Again, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever question media. When media reflects harmful norms we should discuss what’s wrong with this picture so that we can consciously reject the harmful ideas. That said, it’s still ok to enjoy problematic media. It’s not about never enjoying something that isn’t it’s perfect. It’s about thinking critically so you won’t reenforce any harmful ideas you’ve picked up due to societal norms and so you can instead question those norms. 

For example, Star Wars featured some pretty toxic stuff. However, it’s ok to like Star Wars, and to like Han Solo and like his relationship and chemistry with Leia. You can like it and still acknowledge that the narrative frames predatory behavior as cute/romantic. Liking it doesn’t mean you’re predatory or support predatory behaviors. 

If you haven’t questioned predatory romance in Harrison Ford movies before and have misinformed ideas about relationships, that’s not your fault. We grow up in a society that has some messed up ideas about relationships and doesn’t give us the information we need. 

In the U.S. at least we don’t even have access to basic sex-ed let alone classes on relationships. This is a problem because we need tools to recognize abusive relationships and make healthy choices. It doesn’t help when media doesn’t really give great examples. 

However, the issue isn’t fiction not teaching us good lessons. Fiction exists to entertain not educate. That’s what the non-fiction section is for...

Making decisions about relationship based on fictional romance books isn’t a good idea. Making decisions about what pet to get based on fictional dog books isn’t a good idea either. The good news is, you can fact check. That’s part of what criticism is...looking at something is presented and thinking about it critically means fact checking.

Women interested in BDSM because of 50 Shades have been hurt as a result. Families interested in Dalmatians because of 101 Dalmatians have been hurt as a result and have hurt a lot of dogs and the breed as a whole. 

That doesn’t mean enjoying the fantasy of an unhealthy relationship in a romance book is wrong, or enjoying unrealistic stories about puppies. That’s not a problem. Using fiction as if it were a guide book is a problem.

I’ve talked about this discussing “The Shallows” and how sharks are portrayed in the media. Monster movies about Sharks aren’t really the issue. The issue is people who treat fiction (whose purpose is to entertain) like non-fiction (whose purpose it is to educate and inform). “The Shallows” isn’t a documentary, we shouldn’t treat it like one. And really, the bigger problem is more when actual documentaries sensationalize things. The issue is less with Sharknado and more with so called ‘educational channels” which purport to be non-fiction, informative sources try to be entertaining for ratings (Shark Week makes me angrier than the Shallows). 

(sorry, shark digression...)

My point is genres that exist to entertain aren’t meant to educate. They can still be criticized (all media should be criticized), but they shouldn’t be help to a standard of something it’s not. A romance novel is not a sex-ed book, it’s a not a relationship guide book, it’s a form of entertainment. 

To quote Oscar Wilde “There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. That is all.”

What’s true for books also applies to fanfic and manga and all art. The purpose of fiction is to entertain. It doesn’t have to teach moral lessons or leave the reader more informed. Note that I distinguish fiction from propaganda, as propaganda exists to purposely support a certain point of view, and so it is necessary to judge it on the point of view it’s pushing. So I think you can say that the philosophy advocated in “Atlas Shrugged” is morally wrong because that’s propaganda, but I’d argue “The Picture of Dorian Gray” isn’t morally wrong because it’s a book, it’s job is to be entertainment and judged on whether it’s well written or badly written.

Note, criticizing media is different than judging it as moral or immoral. I can write an essay about the character of Dorian and what makes him an bad person in the novel. That’s different than saying the book itself is immoral or that Oscar Wilde is bad for writing it and his fans are bad for reading it. Yes, it’s a problematic book, that’s part of the point of it. It’s not a guide book on behavior, it’s art.

[dove-annarchie]

A Slow Damage headcanon theory compilation by Ann

It’s late and I’m supposed to write short stories instead of a long rant about a game that’s not even out. But after watching the Slow Damage PV another hundred times and seeing that the N+C fandom is kinda dead. I decided to add my little, possibly going to remain unseen theories/headcanons/speculations/guesses etc. for the fans waiting for something new.

Note that nothing of what I’ve written is to be taken at face-value, it’s just my speculation and feel free to correct me on anything or share your theories with me. Anything to make this agonizing period of waiting a bit less agonizing!

First, these guesses wouldn’t be as strong without @shinocchidesu’s text decode on the PV and the inverted sketches @bara-mink (sorry, for some reason i couldn’t tag you :C) made to get a new perspective on the images, and they look clearer!. Kudos to them!

To start this trip, I may warn you this is gonna be long as heck. Be prepared.

We’ve got to start with the ambience. N+C has something like a track record regarding crapsack worlds, dramatical murder and maybe false alkanet being the exceptions (and even then, Dmmd was dark as fuck despite the cheery, colorful world it was in). Togainu no Chi was a post-war dystopia, Lamento was a story in a world that was slowly dying, and sweet pool’s world was fairly ordinary but the darkness on the plot was the product of the characters’ doing.

Slow damage seems to be the game where both the characters and the world around them are grimdark as hell.

Taking the PV at face value, the characters seemed suspicious, the music and effects were unsettling and the background left an impression (at least in me) that nothing was fine. Looked kind of like a decadent city, or a red-light district, just an urban zone full of crime. If I had to compare it to explain myself better, think of Dragon Palace in Omerta Chinmoku no Okite (another BL, mafia themed VN).

(what looks like an urban environment in the pv):

(omerta’s dragon palace, for comparison):

A crime-filled ambience is an ideal place for a dark plot with troubled characters.

Moving along with the characters, we see 4 of them (at least if there’s not a hidden twin, clone or doppelganger). None of them look 100% sane to me. The flashing visuals and slightly off-key music and sounds are likely to hint that at us, or maybe it’s the kanji, for the Japanese-speaking people? They’re either very involved with crime, or their hands aren’t clean enough to disprove any guilt. At least for me, since these are my deductions.

Moving on, I’m going to talk about the people we see in the PV. Starting with:

My thoughts about him? When there’s crime, there should be cops. He looks like a detective or cop to me. He also seems to be middle aged, or older than the MC at the very least. Old enough to have been a father? Who knows. But he reminds me of Motomi (TnC) and Kiryuu (Omerta) for some reason. I’ll call him Kiryu for now.

The words deciphered by shinocchidesu in their post read:

Sins, guilt, depression, self-loathing, to hide something, mask.

If I tie this to his assumed position in the law, Kiryu must have committed a crime himself and/or gotten someone killed. It was either an accident or intentional, whether in a moment of weakness or fully aware of what was going to unfold. In any case. It seems like Kiryu desperately wants to hide it, or forget it. Or the disgust he felt with himself after doing it.

Affection, mercy, silence, determination to be…

What if his route is like a healing process, maybe not just for Kiryu, but also for whatever the MC went through before? Maybe by taking his route, if he has one, we can make him move on or remind him that the past is in the past, and that he can still find worthy things in his life (Like the MC?). he’s going to feel more positive with the MC around him, he may quickly take a liking to him. Maybe because he reminds Kiryu of someone from his past? Is being romanced by the MC like a chance to symbolically or internally fix everything that went wrong?

Next is…

My thoughts about him? Looks like the typical pretty boy every anime media must have. Longish hair? Check. More delicate face structure? Check. Mischievous smile? Check. He also seems to have piercings, or maybe it’s the rough lines of the sketches. I’m going to call him Shi for now, read the explanation ahead.

The deciphered words read:

Unrestrained, unstoppable pleasure, blood, bone, flesh, violence.

This doesn’t spell good.

I’m going to stretch my deductions a lot and state that maybe Shi was (or is) a cannibal, or a serial killer. I see him as a hedonistic fuck who doesn’t care about other people’s wellbeing as long as he’s having a blast. Maybe he was under the influence of drugs. All of this spells that Shi was an outright criminal, the kind of pleasure-seeking person who will go to the extreme just to feel new sensations, even if they’re morally wrong. Shi wants to feel thrilled, he has no barriers or chains. He’s a free man and not even the police can keep him from having his way. He’s sassy, brash, carefree and confident. Has a joyful and fun façade to hide his bloodthirstiness and the misery it caused him.

Or we can take the other side and imply he was being forced to be like this. Maybe he was part of a cult or a very toxic group who indulged in killing and intoxication. He’s used to this, even if he doesn’t want to be. Maybe the MC can help him withdraw from his passions or push him deeper into it while joining him. I still don’t have this clear.

Self-denial, build and rebuild, hidden aesthetic.

Shi lives very frugally. Because of his criminal status he has to constantly relocate, but it’s not like he has important things to leave behind. Much like Nine told Aoba in dmmd re:connect, Shi can build and destroy his (outer) world whenever he wants or needs to and he doesn’t lose much by that. The build and rebuild part can also apply to his possible murderous intents, since he destroys lives in order to build up his pleasure. Possibly being with the MC may inspire a desire to settle down, despite the risk, and having legitimate reasons to do the opposite. A possible bad end might be joining in the bloody debauchery and being dominated by Shi?

Next one…

My thoughts about him? A classic character; the kichiku megane. Other than Ugajin (also from Omerta) and the yaoi manga with that name, I cannot make any comparisons due the fact I haven’t seen many examples of this archetype. Unless he turns out to be a caring, if amoral sweetheart, I’m betting my cat’s life that he’s going to follow the trope to a T. Stoic, sadistic, cruel and uncaring, but smart, sophisticated, desirable and maybe hiding a very tiny good heart. He looks like a high-ranking criminal, or yakuza or mafia or I dunno, he looks not like a lowlife thug, but more like an evil hidden-in-plain-sight kind of criminal. He can afford to look elegantly amoral. It took me a while to give him a decent placeholder name, so I’m just calling him Kenji for now.

Let’s analyze his phrases.

To put on, not being himself, inerasable past, acted out truth, hatred towards their own.

This one’s a little more complicated to me even if it seems to be explicitly spelled out. Kenji’s self-hatred must stem from a typical traumatic experience. Maybe his family/race/clan/group did something awful and he was one of the few who regretted letting it happen? And that’s why he’s involved with crime? Because he sees himself as nothing but another apple that rot far away from the tree and he can’t do better than commit more crimes?. A little part of himself knows that while he’s scum, or at least related with the real scum, he didn’t commit atrocities like his kind so he can afford to be a little bit better. He desperately tries to distance himself from his clan, erasing his past and not wanting the horrible truth to be discovered. He doesn’t need to have a higher moral ground, he’s content with not doing horrible things directly. And he clings to that.

Cruel, thorough confrontation, continuous obsession.

Rule of three dictated these might refer to Kenji’s relationship with the MC. While MC doesn’t look like a career criminal, he’s still at the very bottom of the barrel, living in the crime-ridden urban settlement on a filthy studio (assuming he’s an artist). While Kenji can flaunt of being sophisticated and respected. If the kichiku megane aspect is played straight, Kenji won’t limit his cruelty with the MC, maybe seeing him as just another ruffian undeserving of even mere eye contact, much like he sees the people working for him. MC will keep clashing with Kenji, causing the yakuza to become enticed and attracted to the young (?) smoker. As if he’s “deserving” of him. I don’t have much else, sorry.

And finally…

Now let’s go with the hooded person, who I’m assuming it’s the MC, and if he isn’t and turned out to be the main antagonist or some shit like that, welp, then screech in my ear and call me Rachel.

I’m basing my guesses from the teaser images rather than the kanji.

The first one is simplistic. We see a person in a hoodie sporting a macabre smile, standing in the middle of a street with distorted figures which must be buildings. The colors are limited, classical red, black and white, aiding the macabre aesthetic of the picture. The black figures seem to sink onto the ground and lose consistency. As seen on the N+C website, the title of the game is written twice; once in white and then in black, right over the white katakana in an irregular way that may be meant to add to the “instability” of the image.

I don’t see much symbolism other that this being N+C’s way of saying “yo, we gon fuck your mind up but you gotta wait for it ;) also if you don’t speak Japanese then you’re doubly screwed fam”

The second one is more complex and gives us a very good look at the aspects and symbolism. We see the hooded person in much clearer detail. Looks definitely masculine (it’s a yaoi game, duh). He’s sitting on a stool, in a crooked posture, looking depressed and defeated, smoking while avoiding eye contact with the camera. Smoking was believed to reduce stress, but that was debunked a while ago, so he has pent up a ton of anxiety added to the usual problems with his already underprivileged lifestyle. Behind him there are numerous canvases (assuming he’s an artist, or at least a hobbyist) with a huge black one right behind his back, they show no images other than empty whiteness and some shadows, their meanings being that either he gave up, those easels are representing emptiness and gloom, he became disillusioned and he’s reflecting on stuff, or that there are multiple problems in his life that are unimportant or self-inflicted and thus cause him small amounts of misery but not to an extreme extent, and this one big black canvas right behind his back represents factor that started, prolonged or keeps fueling his bitterness and internal struggle.

I want you to save me./Do you want to be saved?

In a world of crime, a young man has the chance to make things right. Anything he could do may make things better or worse. Is he talking to himself? Is someone else asking him that? All the above?

By who? By me?

He’s doubtful and depressed. He started at the bottom and he’s still in the bottom (that was unintentional). But can he push his frustrations aside and face the music?

That concludes my analysis and helped quench my impatience a little bit. I should repeat that this is not to be taken at face value nor I’m saying this is 100% canon official information. It’s just another guessing game to see if I can give you an idea of what to expect. I dunno, I just wrote this for fun C: thanks for reading!

[rainbowravioli]

hi again, yes about the interview in particular and if you have new thoughts on S2 (because i know you already wrote some predictions and problems that could occur) that would be great!!

Alright then.

So this trainwreck of an interview. This was a wild ride. Just when you think there is no possible way to be more disappointed with the YOI staff, we get this. After this interview, Yuri on Ice can’t claim praise over representation. It can’t.

I’m going to cover the points that I found more…distressing, let’s say. If there’s anything I don’t touch upon that people want me to comment on specifically, feel free to send me an ask. All the bolding in the quotes will be my doing for emphasis of certain points.

Let’s start with this really, really worrisome thing:

Regarding Yuuri and Victor’s scene after the FS, I was fine with it being interpreted in any way. However this is the part that had more response from overseas, I was even directly asked “which one it was”. And then I heard from Japanese people too that some had an argument with their friends over whether they kissed or not, or they just hugged. I was surprised that people would want to know the truth. Up until then I had always thought that people wanted to be able to interpret fiction how they preferred. But seeing the reactions that this episode received, I realized that even if it’s fiction, inside people’s mind this series exists as a world of its own and so they believe that there must be a correct truth, an exact answer somewhere.

First of all let me say that I am very glad there’s finally been mention of the Japanese fandom asking about the kiss or hug thing because I was getting very tired of the whole “lol silly westerners~” thing. That said…how is she surprised that people want to know? If she’s writing this story about two male characters being in a romantic relationship, especially amidst the sea of fanservice bait and toxic yaoi bs, people are going to want confirmation that these two characters did kiss! Mind you, I am team “it was a kiss” and have been since the episode aired, but it’s highly irresponsible of Kubo to just adopt this nonchalant attitude of “I’m fine with any interpretation.” She shouldn’t be fine! This to me says that she was never actually concerned at all with giving anyone representation. 

Victor is asked whether he would like to fight Yuuri as an athlete, but he really doesn’t think that. Actually many people were expecting to see Victor and Yuuri confront each other in a match eventually, however Yuuri is also “trying to win to prove Victor’s skating”. The director and I shared this same opinion when we wrote the series.

Yeah this one is just here for me to go, thanks for the further evidence that Victor was originally meant to retire! Miss me with that “Yuuri skates for Victor” thing though, Yuuri deserves better than that. 

Yurio’s FS is still incomplete, but I wanted to show how he was able to obtain a new strength and elegance thanks to the presence of Lilia, Yakov, his grandpa and JJ as a rival. I also depicted his aggressive side when he changes the composition of the program to win, and the fact that he still isn’t able to win against JJ, which is another trial that he needs to overcome.

This is here as an example of what I mean when I say that an author’s intentions are all well and good but the work needs to speak for itself. In this case, JJ was never a trial for Yurio to overcome. He was set up as such, but Yurio never actually had to win against him because JJ ended up self-destructing in the end.

In a meeting with the director I asked her a very basic question: “Why does Yuuri want to win?”, and she replied “Well, he has never won a gold medal so far, of course he wants to win!”. I thought that made sense. Yuuri, who has never won an international competition, wants to win a gold medal before retiring. The “origin” of his desire to win is in fact pretty simple. He has been able to work hard so far because he wants to win a gold medal and is confident that he is good enough to succeed. I inserted that monologue because, even though Yuuri might look weak, he actually has been fighting the whole time.

First of all WHAT? You’re the main writer of the series! You should know your main character’s motivations! How do you not know? How could you have been writing him without knowing it? That’s basic character building! Second of all, she apparently doesn’t know her own characters at all. Because Yuuri Katsuki is not confident! This is a character trait AND a plot point, that’s repeatedly mentioned by other characters and by Yuuri himself! W H A T?!

I was told that the words “please take care of me until I retire” are actually something that real skaters say when they ask someone to be their coach. When I heard that, I thought that this was the perfect timing for Yuuri to tell Victor. At this time, Victor doesn’t take these words in the sense Yuuri really means, which is “until the end of this season”. He left Yuuri fighting alone in a tournament, so I think he was very torn about whether he should apologize and about what he should tell him when they met again. But then Yuuri told him “until I retire”, and I think Victor was probably really happy because it meant that Yuuri still needed him even when he was far away. Victor didn’t think that Yuuri would retire after the end of the GP Final, and he didn’t clearly decide until when he would continue being Yuuri’s coach, therefore I believe that he was happy to hear Yuuri’s feelings, to know that Yuuri too wanted him to be his coach until the end.

Absolutely no mention of Yuuri and Victor’s relationship being anything beyond that of coach and athlete, absolutely no mention of “that sounds like a marriage proposal”. 

What Yuuri bought is pair rings. When I looked it up I found out that buying a pair was cheaper (LOL), and I also thought that if they were going to wear something matching this would be good. There are actually many real skaters who wear accessories as “omamori”, protective charms. More importantly, Yuuri has been giving Victor fresh surprises until now, and I wanted him to get a new item, a weapon to fight in the final match. When I suggested the rings to the director she was like “Yes, that!!” (LOL). We were like, “yeah, a cornered athlete would do something like that!” More than implicating something like a wedding, it’s similar to members of the same circle deciding to have a matching item.

I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING GUYS! LAUGHING AND CRYING!

Platonic! Wedding rings!

But wait wait! It gets worse! Because we have this to top it off!

Victor is surprised by Yuuri’s action but understands him, so he makes a wish upon the ring telling him “show me the skating that you like the most”. In the China tournament he said things as if he was testing Yuuri, he “broke” his heart, so here he finally vows to the ring that “he will completely trust what Yuuri decides” and is determined to do what he can as a coach.

That entire scene was a platonic scene between coach and athlete, it’s what this is saying. It was never meant to be a proposal on Yuuri’s part! So there actually was no canon Victuuri proposal. Victor announcing they are engaged is not a proposal, it’s an announcement. One that Yuuri doesn’t even confirm. And then it’s never brought up again. ARE THEY EVEN ENGAGED?!

Platonic wedding rings! How do you pick wedding rings as a platonic symbol for your characters to share?! Remember how people joked about the rings being platonic because people still didn’t see Victuuri as canon? Those ‘just a bro buying wedding rings to another bro’ things? Well Kubo says they are platonic! Canonically platonic wedding rings! This is even better than #trancendental 

There’s also a moment where Yurio thought Victor was smirking looking at the ring. Like Yurio says in this scene, people tend to believe that athletes “die as competitors” when they stop and “become stable”. But I think that Victor, more than anyone else, is sensitive to this topic and is worried that people will say that about him, or that he will actually become like that. In this scene Victor wasn’t smirking, he was starting to think about his future.

Pray for Victor’s lost characterization. He’s truly dead.

Yuuri makes an attempt at adding a quadruple flip in his SP, but actually in the beginning I wasn’t planning to have him jump so many quads. The increasing level of real life competitions prompted me to add a realistic feeling by showing how you can’t win if you don’t have multiple quads in your programs. The reason Victor jumps a quad flip together with Yuuri during his performance is, more than something he does as a coach, something that comes from his feelings as an athlete.

The flip means absolutely nothing for how Victor feels about Yuuri. Nothing.

The reason Yurio could pull off his best performance is that many elements like his experience and the environment surrounding him all blended together perfectly right at this time. From an external point of view young and strong athletes somehow tend to look like they are “destined to win”, like they are performing a program prepared to win. However, every single second of their performance is the result of their efforts. I wanted to show this with Yurio’s SP.

Gonna quote @soobaki on this one “maybe bc theyre literally always the protag in every other series and yoi was supposed to subvert that but then didn”. If you wanted Yurio to be the protagonist so badly, you should have just made him the protagonist from the get-go. 

When Victor is watching Yurio’s performance we cannot see his expression because I myself haven’t decided what the truth is, like whether he is frustrated because Yurio beat his record, or he wants to surpass him again, or what else.

Lady. LADY! L A D Y!!! You! Are! The! Writer! If you don’t know, who knows???

In the end I’m really portraying every character thinking that I want them to win, and especially in JJ’s case, he has a power that makes you want him to win.

JJ won bronze because author favoritism. There. It’s explained now. Honestly, read the way she talks about JJ in the entire interview. At this point I’m sure she likes him more than Yuuri. Hell, at this point I don’t think she likes Yuuri that much.

I could touch upon every single point of episode 12 believe me, but here’s my top offenders.

What Victor told Yuuri right before he starts is performance, more than something that he really thinks deep down, is what he came up with when thinking about what could encourage Yuuri Katsuki the most, so basically it’s “Victor playing the role of Victor as Yuuri expects him”.

……………….

I have no words.

No, wait, I have many words. Starting with, what the hell? So…I really dislike that scene. I think I made my feelings for that scene obvious. This just makes that scene worst. So Yuuri tells Victor to be true to himself and Victor…acts. He’s not being sincere. Victor goes back to playing a role, the role he thinks Yuuri wants him to play. This is utterly heartbreaking. And really unhealthy as far as their relationship goes! There is not positive way of reading this. 

Regarding the scene where Victor hugs Yurio before the competition, he didn’t do it because he was begging for his help to stop Yuuri from retiring, or because he was asking him something. He just wanted Yurio to skate at his best, it was his genuine feelings of support for him, as if he was saying “go and do your best!”. After all, until this scene we never really saw Victor support Yurio. It’s an action that cannot be explained with logic. 

Ok well, you didn’t convey that, did you? Some basic scene set-up and character acting was sorely missing from that scene. Still, RIP manipulative!Victor theory. Small blessings.

That said, here’s Kubo forgetting her own canon again. We never saw Victor support Yurio until this scene? You sure?

Are you really sure about that?

She also keeps saying that certain character’s actions or thoughts or feelings “can’t be explained through logic” and all I have to say about that is this: cheap excuse. You’re the writer, you should know how to explain your characters.

The selfish decision ultimately taken by the selfish Yuuri Katsuki was to continue competitive skating. I think there were many reasons that led to this conclusion. Not only what Victor gave him, but Yurio’s performance in the FS also managed to pull Yuuri back to the ice, and maybe he was influenced by the other athletes’ performances too. 

Yuuri Katsuki? Selfish?! Yuuri who spent most of the series thinking about people other than himself? Yuuri who had a mental breakdown over the idea that he was keeping Victor from happiness? Yuuri who had “accepting and admitting to his desires” as part of his character arc? Yuuri who had to be pushed by other to do the things he wanted for himself? Ok so she clearly doesn’t know her characters.

She “thinks” there are many reasons that led to the conclusion of Yuuri continuing to compete? Please enlighten us. Other than “we wanted a s2 and didn’t know how else to pitch it, also give us your money”, what other many reasons were there? Narratively, I’m pretty sure not even Kubo knows, considering the “MAYBE he was influences by the other athletes’ performances too”. 

This interview guys. I’m pretty sure it shortened my life span. Character derailment, retcons, continuing to insist on the at this point blatant lie that the finale was planned from the start (I would still be furious about it, but I would respect the staff so much more if they admitted they changed it at the last minute), and still no confirmation of a romantic relationship between Yuuri and Victor, on the contrary. I don’t really have new thoughts about s2, other than the fact that it’s not looking great. Not looking great.

Platonic wedding rings.

[sanemadhatter]

Killing Stalking is not a love story so dont attack it for “advertising” toxic relationships

I feel like many people judge this manhwa, becasue they think this is the continuation of making gay relationships abusive and toxic...Which I d argue is not the case here.

Killing stalking is in no form for me a love story, it s a psychological horror. They are not trying to show us Sang woo as some misunderstood serial killer, they are giving us the reality. The plot is not trying to excuse his behaviour nor make us like him...there are even many similarities between him and other real life serial killers like t.e. Ted Bundy(read on his life if u didn t, pretty interesting )---both charming sociopaths with great social life on the outside, while killing and raping their victims on the inside. Both being aroused by the idea of inflicting pain or causing death, but still being able to  lead a “normal” life for years before being caught.

I dont think it s fair to compare this story to some other yaoi that is trying to justify rape and build on it a healthy relationship....this sotry is clearly not trying to go for a happy ending...

The fact that some ppl ship the characters doesnt make it  a love story....but also no need to attack those ppl...

[49scribes-a]

Me: *laughs* Most of the time, yeah. It just bothers me when I end up being one of them. I like t' think I'm better than that most days but, aha... what was phrasing you used? "Ego the size of a small country?" Maybe that really just makes me a narcissist *snorts*

X: Did I say that? =smiles innocently= I must have been having an off day, 'cause I'm pretty sure I meant the size of a small continent. :) X: Don't feel too bad about it. Shit happens. And even if you're the bad guy, you still gotta live with you, so no sense beating yourself up over it. Just do better. Haha. Which I see you're trying. That's all you need.

Me: :> Cheeky vixen. Not that I'd have it any other way XD Me: And ye. Working on it. Live and learn.

X: That's my name. Don't wear it out. Or do. :P X: Seriously, though, I'm glad you're doing okay with it. And you're taking a surprisingly healthy approach to it too. :)

Me: Just the healthiest health nut to ever health their way to health. Me: Emphasis on the "nut" part. :)

X: You're that alright. And I mean that in the most loving way.

Me: Ye I know ;)

X: I'm in the mood to write something ... waffy. It'll probably wear off.

Me: Hey I'm game if y'want to lol

X: I bet you Lavi is looking at you like you lost your mind. Haha. I don't know how fit him into waffy. :P

Me: *snorts* Nah we just kind of accept each others' certain brands of instability and duet over the rubble of what may have at one point resembled sanity, its cool :)

X: Okay, then, O Duo of Agreement and Tranquility. How do you propose we get Lavi to be waffy? Because I'll write the starter first thing in the morning if you can name me a situation. Haha.

Me: Okay, to be fair, I'm finding more than one definition of waffy and yes he is giving me a look at some of them but he's not saying no haha. So if y'wanna make sure we're on the same page that'd be great.

X: Like romancy! Haha.

Me: Okay, I figured but I had t' be sure lmfao. Me: Save the "Wait are we talking about the same thing here or..." bumble pffft.

X: I'm now curious. What other definitions are there? X: And which ones did he not say no to? :P

Me: *snorts* Ask Urban dictionary. Me: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=waffy Me: And mainly he gave me a look because a lot of them seem to put emphasis on yaoi and yuri and last he checked LaviLena was a very Het ship and he was vERY confused for a moment lmfao.

X: Pffft. Calm down, Lavi. Just talking romancy. Haha. Though it's probably gonna be toxic romancy, knowing us. So maybe waffy isn't the right word. How about ... hm ... I'll have to think of one. Kissy? X: Bah. X: That's still too cute.

Me: Don't hurt yourself. *laughs*

X: Then you're stuck with kissy. How you like them apples?

Me: I prefer peaches. Me: ...now I want fruit.

X: No. B| X: You get nothing for being a smartass. X: Especially not peaches. X: Or kissy. X: S'it.

Me: I'm gonna get peaches just because you said no. Me: No one can stop me now.

X: Fine!

Me: And while I procure peaches I am going to contemplate the kissy long and hard until I think of something.

X: I said no kissy, jerk. X: =sticks tongue out at you=

Me: :p

X: ... Do you actually have peaches? Because I kinda want one now too.

Me: PFFFT. Me: Only canned. Me: Which is just not the same if we're being at all honest.

X: I have a can too actually, funny enough. It's mixed with pears. X: And no, not the same.

Me: Ironically pears was the other thing I thought of saying in response to the apples.

X: It's a fruit orgy. X: I meant salad. X: Damn auto correct. X: Pfft.

Me: ,,,I'm not sure whether to believe that was auto-correct. *snorts*

X: You totally should. =shakes head no=

Me: I'm just glad I wasn't eating anything yet because I would have choked and I don't want "died choking on fruit while reading the words 'fruit orgy'" on my obituary page.

X: But why not? That would be one sick obituary. X: Also life and death in the same breath. One of those fruits can get pregnant. X: ... X: Okay, I wish THAT was auto correct. X: All of it.

Me: I'm framing that on my wall. Me: Forever. Me: #NeverForgetFruitOrgy2k17

X: I demand kissy payment for the memorable moments. X: Wait. I said I didn't want kissy. X: Right. So I could reject it. X: That's right. X: =snorts like a priss=

Me: Don't toy with the poor boy's nonexistent heart, he's only got like... none. Me: ...I'm never gonna be able to eat fruit salad with a straight face again. Me: or probably any fruit for that matter.

X: I am, legit, so pleased with myself. I can't even put into words how pleased I am with myself. Just. So pleased. And to think that auto correct was going all "fruit orchid?" No, bitch. Orgy. I meant what I said. Haha.

Me: Which one of us has the ego again? *smiles wryly*

X: I am an adorable little girl that knows no bad words and what is an orgy? =blink, blink= X: Is that like an instrument? X: Sounds a bit like organ, doesn't it? X: And speaking of organs ...

Me: *snorts* Me: Here it comes. Me: ...that's what she said. Me: Yep I'll just escort myself out now.

X: ... I rubbed off on you!!!! X: And here I was gonna make some heavy handed comment about reproductive organs.

Me: *side eyes Lavi* ...rubbed off on someone anyway.

X: He wishes.

Me: Well according to him, there are likely many reasons he is attributed to a rabbit, including but not extensively limited to his propensity to run away from Kanda's explosive temper. Me: *snorts and shakes head*

X: ... That was a bust. Also kinda like a bunny. So he's right there. Haha. X: Who is Bunny? X: Now that you mention it.

Me: My fiance.

X: That makes a lot more sense. X: My apologies. I will stop making sleepy innuendos. Haha. X: Coffee at midnight ain't a good idea.

Me: *snickers* You're fine. Its actually been really lifting my mood. I mean just talking to you in general but comedy is always good for the soul.

X: In that case, hold my beer and gimme that mic. It's stand up time. Pfft.

Me: Don't hurt yourself. *snorts* But yeah I'll hold your beer. U go.

X: =sits back down= X: I got nothin'.

Me: Best show. Me: Roaring applause. Me: Oscar award.

X: Ahem. You mean standing ovation? X: =taps foot=

Me: Yeah that.

X: Flowers on stage? And chocolates? X: And ... fruit baskets?

Me: *snorts*

X: I hate the fact that that sounded vaguely dirty.

Me: "Vaguelly"?

X: =hits you with a dictionary=

Me: That's fair. Me: But... Me: *opens up a page and holds it out* Me: I think the word you were looking for is "Overtly".

X: I think the word I was looking for was "Maimed."

Me: ...well that doesn't sound right.

X: Sure it does. Will describe you to a tee if you persist. X: =grins sweetly=

Me: So was that supposed to be a vague threat or an overt one...

X: Realistic. B|

Me: Glad we cleared that up.

X: We're just all about the definitions tonight, aren't we? I mean, fruit orgy, fruit salad, life is too short to care about these distinctions. X: It's all tasty anyway. X: =coughs=

Me: I have concerns.

X: Oh?

Me: Many concerns. Me: Self-explanatory concerns.

X: Start the list, I'll stop you when I feel like addressing them.

Me: Well first off. Me: Plants are asexual.

X: Imagination begs to differ. X: Anthropomorphic plants have interests. X: And they're not always wholesome. X: I don't see what your damage is.

Me: Second of all. Fruit salad is typically cut into chunks. That's like making it with a disembodied limb.

X: You're just jealous that the peach likes the green pear more than you. X: It's in chunks 'cause the clothes are off. X: I think. X: Yeah. Let's roll with that.

Me: ...if you could only have heard the wheezing sound I just made.

X: Did guy imagine a grape stripping to porn music? X: Because your life isn't complete until you imagine that.

Me: Did now. Me: Third... Me: Okay y'know what. Now I can't unthink that.

X: You're welcome. X: =sticks out grape leggy=

Me: If I have to suffer you're going to suffer with me.

X: Oh, lover peach!

Me: THIRD.

X: Yoo hoo! X: I'm sorry. Am I distracting you? X: I totally don't mean... X: Oh, wait, the grape's taking off its stockings.

Me: How would a fruit orgy even work, is what I want to ask. But then I remember fruit stems and center seed holes and I probably answered my own question. Me: You're welcome. Me: This is it. Me: This is the height of intellectual debate. Me: Fruit orgies.

X: And the banana appears on the scene. X: To give our discussion more subject matter.

Me: I'm done. You win. There is no distinction between a fruit orgy and a fruit salad.

X: Point, set, match. X: Although, I'm not sure who the winner is. X: I will never be able to eat fruit salad again.

Me: Really? I will.

X: ... Of course you will.

Me: Of course I will.

X: You are so extra. I love it.

Me: I just live to see people's baffled expressions when something like fruit salad makes me laugh uncontrollably. Me: And hey, more fruit for me. Me: Its not gonna eat itself.

X: ... No it's not. I hear that's very hard to do. Gotta be a gymnast. X: That banana might actually stand a chance.

Me: Its a shame that, despite being agnostic, I still find it in myself to believe in Hell, because there's probably a place for me in it and I don't like hot places. Me: I'm pretty sure fruit orgy counts as reasons why I probably make the list.

X: ...Based on that somber take on your future, I imagined what you must have thought. And it wasn't petty. X: Tsk tsk.

Me: I've gone down a road of no return.

X: By the House of the Rising Sin. X: No typo.

Me: Sounds about right.

X: And in that exhilarating note, I'm going to bed. (Always leave them wanting more.) X: I assume that kissy proposal shall be waiting On my desk at 10 AM sharp? X: And Gai forbid you mention fruit.

Me: Will you be mad if its there at 9:59?

X: No. But I will be if it's 10:01.

Me: Then yes ma'am.

X: I wanna say one more vaguely dirty thing. But it might be too much. Haha.

Me: Only because it'll inevitably be followed up by another. *smirks*

X: I was just gonna innocently retract my earlier statement. You can mention fruit in your proposal. As long as whip cream is involved. X: Thank you! And good night! X: I'll be here all week.

Me: Cheeky vixen. Me: Goodnight and sleep well!