#but I will take a small break from the nepeta asks

[kat-of-seventy-seven-roses]

Homestuck Mythical Creature au / Cryptid Au

Very tempted to make an ask blop :p need to see if anyones inch rested

thought processes under the cut (bc some choices are wild)

Johns a pooka, an irish fae trickster who shapeshifts into animals. his favorite form is the bunny. john and jane are both fae, so their pranks range from harmless to mentally scaring to life altering. absolute chaos grimlins. dirk is also an irish myth, so he knows them well and is often trying to get them to not ruin the local population of humans. so they do pranks on him insted. john loves to steal dirks head and hide it places.

rose speaks to the eldritch horrors and is slowly becoming one herself. she wants to become a litch.

Dave is a harpy! a very chill one who doesn't tend to sing with his full chest, so people dont start crashing into his doorstep. dave dies in some magic accident that caused davesprite to rise up from the ashes. but dave harpy is ALSO fine no ones really sure how. may have been roses doing.

Jade is a werewolf obv. but shes also a witch and has formed a coven with rose and roxy.

Jane is ur avrage fae faerie/sprite. her favorite fae rule to get people to break is "dont eat their food."

Roxy is both a cat who is also a wizard i need not elaborate

Dirk is a headless horseman. not to be confused with THE headless horse man. thats another dullhan with a well paying halloween gig. dirk is often subject to losing his head, so he made a magic pumpkin to pilot the body when this happens. he does have a very large and scary but beautiful horse.

Jake is the bigfoot. and one of the most well hunted (and well travled) cryptids. thus, his friends often make jokes of not ever seeing him except in blurry images. its not his fault hes very large and loves to travel! and is also not very photogenic...

Aradia is a monthra!!! however she made a deal with a devil and became a ghost... not sure WHY yet or why it kills her. but it does. its all in her plan or smth, but that doesnt stop sollux from being very upset that hes the one that has to take and keep her soul. she is reserected later by the coven, still soulless but it doesnt matter bc her soul is in good hands and thus she still feels it. shes much happier now.

Tavros is a minotar self explanatory he is a small minotar, tho. a mini minotar if u will.

Sollux is ur run of the mill soul for potato chip demon. an excuse to give him twin tails and horns. him an kitkat gave me the most trouble! but then i went with a solkat devil angel motifi and im kinda attached t9 it now. even if its sorta a cop out. i simply couldnt find twin creatures that werent gods or children of gods. nor any crab creatures...

Karkat is an angel. he WAS human notably he was human for awhile even good friends with kanaya before he died. he never found love but helped so many with theres that he became an angel that was a lot like cupid. thus he was a small angel incharge of match making and also likened to a baby and hes very much NOT happy about this. it pisses him off, solluxs often gives him a hard time. about it. (extra angst is that kitkats also really fucked up about never knowing what love felt like but having to give it to others. and he has it in his head that that means he never will know, bc no ones matchmaking the matchmaker. but theres a song he hears everyonece anwhile by a stray harpy that makes him feel a lot lighter.)

Nepeta is my go to cat creature a nekomata. a two tailed cat yokai.

Kanaya is a vampire. obviously.

Terezi is a dragon! still blind! still licks. but can now transform and has wings, very scary. shes basiclly just her lusus lmao.

Vriska is a spider lady. i have arachne here bc its similar, but shes not arachne the myth proper. shes just a spider with the top part of a woman at the head. A Jorogumo a spider lady yokai and is basically actually what im picturing.

Equius is a centar and fuck if i ever have to draw him....

Gamzee is a clowwwn, just a clown, just a silly lil guy. What do you MEAN clowns arnt mythical creatures??? what do u mean u saw him under ur bed when you were a child? u must be mistaken. as a nod to ICPs boogieman. when gamzee is not high as a kite and is just a clown, he is one of the most terrifying and unkillable creatures known to children kind.

Eridan is a selkie. basiclly a mermaid but part seal. personally, I'd like to make him part seahorse. but not in the hippocampus way. i chose this bc he can shapeshift, thus he pretends to be a high elf sorcerer, yes he does get dunked on about this.

And finally, Feferi is a siren! who happens to be able to become very VERY **VERY** BIG. she doesnt lure people to drown them but she DOES love to keep live captives in cages :)

[homeverse-au-official]

what kinds of food do trolls eat and how do they procure it?

I hope I haven't answered this in the previous ask, and if I seem to be repeating myself, I am sorry

The first thing to note is that trolls in our worldbuilding are not actually obligate carnivores! It's the common headcanon because they ARE carnivorous, certainly, but when feeding an incredibly dense population the size of a hive that can average around 5,000 individuals - basically the population of a small town! - then you're going to need other avenues of getting what you need then just hunting.

Since trolls, however, DO need a certain amount of proteins and calcium among other things in their diet, there are several ways they go about getting them. (Also, animals that need 70% or more on consuming other animals is called a hypercarnivore!)

Troll's diets include animal meat, fungi, nuts, eggs, fruit, tubers, insects, and vegetation. Really, they're a lot like us, but they just need different amounts of certain things to be healthy.

You'll note, however, that trolls do not eat dairy products or grains - the first because they're incapable of breaking down lactose, and the second more that they can only eat it in much smaller amounts then humans. This is because troll's systems are best and most efficient in breaking down glucose and fructose, two of the most basic forms of sugars. Maltose (the kind found in grains) is in their systems for longer, meaning buildup if consumed too much. This is important for later.

ANYWAY, Trolls eat lots of things, and in lots of different ways. Many troll foods actually don't contain much meat at all, funnily enough. At least, not the large livestock stuff like steaks and roasts and whathaveyou. That's pretty expensive, and when procured, is usually saved and kept for other uses to stretch it, like drying, pickling (trolls make some killer cured meats..) or breaking down in soups to keep. They make up for this in their consumption of other things high in protein like nuts, insects, and eggs!

For working-class trolls, salt, feedbugs and eggs are basically a currency all of their own.

Trolls can taste a wide range of flavors as well, though perhaps not to the same extent humans can, as trolls are quite hardy when it comes to WHAT exactly they can consume. Many troll dishes made for serving large families all at once involve something set up like a hotpot, with people sticking in what they want cooked and taking it out to eat on their own, but if you want to eat it raw with some sauce? You can do that too. There's...also a branch of troll culinary arts that involves, and this will sound gross to us, purposefully putrefied meats. Much like we enjoy our blue cheese, so do some trolls enjoy their fuzzy meats.

Now, coming back to the bit about the semi-indigestibility of maltose sugar in grains:

Trolls like alcohol, and they consume it with regularity. It should be noted, that one of the earliest forms of it is theorized to come from the grain-bearing plant 'crystal grass' - when ripe, the grains on this plant secrete a sap that dries and crystalizes, tempting animals to eat it and thus spread the seeds, but when reaped and piled in large quantities and allowing the damp to build and yeast to feed on the sugar...and THEN eaten...well. You've got a recipe for some pretty mind-altering stuff. Most troll alcohols are brewed pretty sweet.

It should be noted, however, that it takes a fair amount less then humans to get a troll drunk, though it might not seem like it at first due to how large most average trolls are compared to us pound-for-pound. (Nepeta is one of the shortest trolls in the cast of Homeverse and she's about 5'9, Dave being 5'6...) Due to how the sugars stick around in troll bodies for longer. And many troll meals include alcohol as part of the serving method or cooking process, alongside fermented foods to boot.

The largest meal of a clade's day, where most members were expected to attend if possible, often had a period of rest like a siesta afterwards because of this.

Now, a thought came up a bit recently in a discussion with some other folks, and it was the idea of. Well. Cannibalism. And what trolls' thoughts were on that.

And we have decided that in certain Alternian (as in, the planet-bound era, not the Empire) cultures, there was an aspect of this. Most in the far north, and almost strictly for ritual purposes. When a person died, a bit was taken and consumed before being put into ice-mummy burial areas. There's more to discuss there, but this is not the post. On the subject of things like grubsauce in canon or things like the implication that grubs are eaten, uh. While grubs occupy a space in the perception of trolls as not...quite being people? Yet? And thus not quite granted the empathy of the adults enough to care if one dies in the same way a human would care about their baby dying, they don't readily see them as a food source because of that. There is also some precedent for Mothers producing dud eggs to feed her hive in times of total crisis and starvation, but under those conditions the hive is all but collapsed anyway, and will either move or disband to a sisterhive.

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

HS2's themes are fuckin wack crap cuz like... idk it all starts with the epilogues, right? the thing that the epilogues are trying to say is that all conflict that the characters face within the narrative is there because the audience cast their gaze upon this story and demanded entertainment. something has to happen on the stage to keep us watching, thus, it is the audience's fault that the characters suffer. but that's bullshit for so many reasons. for one thing, it ignores the role of the author. audience demand doesn't force an author's hands to write... that's a decision that the author made. we could've lived with nothing at all.

and conflict comes in many flavors. some stories hardly have any conflict at all. the whole iyashikei genre exists, like, I think we're well past understanding that cynicism, tragedy, and destruction are not the only forces that can drive a narrative. "conflict" is not the only reason for a story to be told. once again, stories tell us as much about the author as their audience. the kind of story an author deems worthy of telling is just as relevant to consider as the kind of story an audience deems worthy of attention.

and even in conflict driven stories... it matters what the conflict is, who wins, how, and why. as a simple example, when the conflict is a battle between good and evil, good wins, it does so by way of the power of friendship, and the reason it is presented this way is to promote the idea that you should be kind and help others... that's a story with a purpose. obviously this is like, children's cartoon level simple, and a story can be written to say different or more complex things, but I should always be able to ask those questions and come up with an answer.

if, as an author, Hussie wanted to accuse his audience of being culpable in the suffering of his characters, he would at least have to present the reader with a meaningful choice. and at first glance, it would almost seem like he did. meat and candy, even by their naming convention, seem as though they are giving you the option to consume a light or dark tale. but even in the names, there is a seed of judgement. Hussie has described the concept of a narrative containing both "meat" and "candy" in terms of story content, wherein meat is anything heavy in terms of plot or drama, and candy is anything that provides levity as a counterbalance, such as jokes or feel good fluff. these categories are already identified as "substance" vs. "a lack of substance" which places value on the cynical, dark route as being more truthful... conflating cynicism with realism.

and already I can see making a case for the idea that neither route is legitimate, because no story should subsist on just one or the other... both need to be at play for the story to be balanced. and you could even argue that the lampooning of the epilogues' legitimacy was the point... that they were supposed to be outside of canon and regarded as illegitimate all along. but then not only does that negate the author's ability to let the audience choose the kind of story they're participating in, but the story itself doesn't play by its own rules.

does candy truly read like some fluffy pandering fanservice filler, the way one might expect it to? and is meat totally devoid of any levity, while focusing only on plot machinations and/or the characters' dramatic downward spiral? I would argue that, even though the consensus seems to be that both routes are equally dismal, neither even gets dark enough to live up to that end of the bargain either. the execution is messy... the concept doesn't hold up.

and what of the initial concept? that the audience's observation of a story forces the characters to enact a conflict for the sake of our entertainment? is that really what's going on here? from the initial pitch, you could already tell that the answer was no. nobody asked for this. and so we cast our apparently destructive audience gaze onto Homestuck 2.

but there, we find another curveball. the story is... almost becoming self aware? in that it casts a character in the role of the author, and also identifies him firmly as the villain. but see, this is still a blame shift. and maybe that would've been less obvious if Andrew Hussie had not introduced himself as a character inside of his own web comic throughout the original narrative. the true author is already here.

the villain of homestuck was never the audience, and it was never a fictional character. if we're really shattering the 4th wall... if we're really ceasing our suspension of disbelief, pulling back the curtain, and acknowledging that these characters are fabricated, manipulated entities with real people behind the wheel, then there is only one conclusion we can possibly come to. the author has control over the narrative... no one else. and the things the author chooses to say with the platform they've made for themselves? those things are on them. what are we to understand about the author, as his audience?

this is why people are looking past the story entirely and engaging with the creative team, for better or for worse. if you break your story enough, it won't work anymore. and when the audience finds it in shambles, completely unusable as a story... you know, the thing it was intended to be? they might actually look to the people who broke it and ask them why they did that. it was a nice story. it performed several functions that people actually enjoyed. was dismantling it like this really the most fulfilling thing they could've done with it?

and I'll tell you another thing. part of why people take it so personally is because, just like how Andrew Hussie, the homestuck character, was a stand-in for Andrew Hussie, the human being... many of the characters in homestuck were stand-ins for us. John Egbert was for people who had an obsessive nerdy interest in movies, Rose was for people who wrote fanfiction, Nepeta was for people who ship characters a lot, she and Terezi were for people who RP, and also... Dave was for people who were trying to act cooler than they felt, Jade was for people who were lonely, Kanaya was for people who wanted to help people and be accepted, Vriska was for people who were hard to love and felt judged for that.

who do these writers think they're messing with?

and I just want to make it clear that I'm not condoning any kind of harassment of them, or anything like that. ultimately, my point here is that we are not our effigies. and in the same way that an author can't blame shift onto a fictional character, a person cannot claim the direction of a fictional story as a reason to do real harm.

but homestuck was always unique in that it spoke very directly to its audience. when Hussie added real pieces of us to his fake people, he had a powerful vehicle for the messages that he wanted us to hear. lots of stories have characters that are written to be relatable, but you'd be hard pressed to find ones that feel quite so specific as the cast of homestuck. to our era. to our humor. to the values of people growing up in our online cultural circumstances.

if this specific author is going to choose to act like a villain, at least in the small-scale context of this comic, then what is that setting us up to be? maybe nothing so presumptuous as a hero... maybe just like, Dave of Guy, y'know? but Dave made normal a pretty heroic thing to be... I think it's up to us to just be normal and have normal fun, in spite of the shit show. regular old homestuck already said all the valuable stuff it was gonna. for my part, I'm just gonna take that and run off with it. ignoring HS2 doesn't make it go away, but paying attention to it doesn't make it good either... so I guess whatever.

that's the themes. the themes are just a big "so what" shrug. most complicated way to say "who cares" I've ever seen.

This is a really good analysis

[skeletorific]

(Sorry if it’s already been asked)what’s your interpretation/view of the quadrants? What in your mind makes an healthy and unhealthy quadrantship?

*distant drumbeat* I’ve been WAITING for this one! Turn it up!!!!

So, a few general notes about quadrants before getting into a breakdown. First, I don’t think there’s a hard and fast definition of what makes, say, a healthy kismessitude, any more than there’s a hard and fast definition of a healthy human relationship. What would be toxic and terrible for one couple may be exactly what keeps a different relationship together. Meowrails is very different from pale Vrisrezi, because Equius and Nepeta are different people with different wants and needs in a relationship than Vriska and Terezi. As with all bonds, it’s important to look at a broader trend of behavior and the individual mental health levels before you can say “this is unhealthy”. I DO think there are certain things to watch out for, but ultimately I probably have ships in that quadrant that may violate one or more of those “no-nos” just because of how those characters bounce off each other. 

Second, I think there’s more fluidity in quadrants than the fandom typically allows for, because human relationships are also by their nature fluid. We’ve all seen a set of best friends who act like a couple even if they aren’t romantically interested, and we’ve seen couples who bicker and squabble despite being deeply in love. How you choose to identify your relationship is ultimately nobody’s business but your own, even if red love for you looks like pale love to someone else. Alternian troll culture is romance obsessed and this can lend itself to an obsession with defining the attraction, but this doesn’t mean that’s necessarily how it HAS to be.

Finally, I’ll be listing ALL confirmed canon examples of each quadrant to provide a context for what I’m referencing. This should not be taken as necessary endorsement for any of these ships, or even that I think they were a “good example”, simply that how they chose to identify influenced my own definition of these quadrants. I will also be leaving out a lot of ships that would seem to fit a particular quadrant (noteably Rosemary and Arasol) because their own status is complicated in-text (Rose explicitly refers to wanting to be in all of Kanaya’s quadrants and their relationship has tended explicitly pitch at points, Sollux is referred to as Aradia’s “boyfriend” and yet there is apparently no issue between either of them when his flush quadrant becomes occupied)

With that, let’s dig in

Matespritship:

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Dad/Mom, Latula/Mituna, Meulin/Kurloz, Aranea/Porrim, Mindfang/Summoner, Meenah/Vriska, Sollux/Feferi, Konyyl/Azdaja (currently vacillating), Stelsa/Tyzias

Crushes (unrequited, vacillating, or thwarted): Eridan/Feferi, Kanaya/Vriska, Nepeta/Karkat, Equius/Aradia, Tavros/Jade, Gamzee/Tavros, Sollux/Gamzee, Jack/PM, Lynera/Bronya

What it means to me: Matespritship tends to be an opt-out quadrant for a lot of people, I think. Most seem to stop reading at “closely analogous to human conceptions of romance” and turn off their brains. However, as with all things troll culture, I think there’s more to it the deeper you go, especially considering the fact that your moirail is expected to do a LOT of what we would consider standard s/o stuff: caretaking, comfort, intimate knowledge, closeness. I absolutely refuse to buy that the only thing distinguishing the two is that matesprits have sex, especially since that stumble into some VERY UNCOMFORTABLE territory in regards to troll asexuality. So then, if it’s not that, then what is it?

Ultimately I keep coming back to the idea of passion. Your matesprit I think is the person who you genuinely see in the best possible light. Unusual for Alternian society, you’re unable to ignore the depths of your admiration of them, or to let their flaws filter into your perception. Moiraillegiance is about total honesty and unflinching recognition, but matespritship to me is about that kind of fairy tale passion. Its a person who, even if you know on an intellectual level they are not perfect, that you genuinely have a harder time seeing the darker side of because you are so consumed by this passion for what you see in them, your unfiltered awe and appreciation for who they are. 

Additionally, I see matespritship as on some level inherently possessive. You not only admire that person, but you fundamentally crave their attention in a way that is probably a bit on the selfish side. Its not enough to want good for them, it has to be good alongside you. This is typically where it’s more prone to flipping caliginous. 

Warning signs: Matespritships seemed to vacillate pitch FREQUENTLY on Alternia. This is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. As Karkat says, it’s often a matter of communication and timing. However, it does have the potential to explode in everyone’s face if not carefully managed, in no small part due to the passionate emotions involved. Some things that tend to go bad fast:

-Admiration is key to an effective matespritship, but pedestalling your flushed partner too much can be dangerous. Once the flaws do become apparent (as they will in any relationship) they can become increasingly hard to ignore, and that can be SHATTERING if you don’t prepare.

-Especially on Alternia, matesprits are the quadrant I see as most likely to neglect the communication aspect of their relationship. Safety isn’t a factor for them like it is for more caliginous quadrants, and the expectation is usually that feelings jams are for moirails. Especially for younger trolls, there’s an idea that we’re in love and thus should just know what the other person needs/wants. If you don’t pick up on it, then maybe we aren’t meant to be. This is a trap. ALL relationships need communication in order to function on a day to day basis. Opening up to your matesprit about something that’s bothering you isn’t a sign of fading passion, but of maturity and your own changing needs.

-Despite a fondness for fate pairings I think matespritships are usually expected to fade out, in no small part because they’re founded on a level of passion that can be hard to keep up long-term. This is actually fine. Not all relationships are meant to last eternally. However, if you know your matesprit is a person you want in your life long-term, part of that is learning how to cope with periods of low passion. Its normal to not always feel an all-consuming desire to keep your matesprit in arms reach. It’s normal to need space. What’s important is that YOU know that you still love them, and that they have the confidence to know that’s true even when you can’t always express it.

Moirallegiance

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Kanaya/Vriska, Eridan/Feferi, Gamzee/Karkat, Nepeta/Equius, Kurloz/Mituna, Meulin/Horuss, Terezi/Vriska, Kuprum/Folykl, MSPAR/Polypa, Xefros/Dammek

Crushes (unrequited, vacillating, or thwarted): Eridan/Karkat, MSPAR/Chixie, MSPAR/Stelsa, Tegiri/Polypa

What it means to me: To start out with, I haaaaaaaate hate hate the perception that moirails are just BFFs. To me, there’s too much evidence to suggest otherwise, not the least of which being that after Feferi ends their moirallegiance she tells Eridan she still wants to be friends with him. How many of you break up with your best friend and then tell them you can still be friends after?

To me, moirallegiance on Alternia is as much a coping mechanism at it is a romantic entanglement. In a society where there’s no such thing as therapy, your moirail ideally functions as a release valve for you, to help you exercise softer feelings in a safe, sanctioned environment. Two things are key in that dynamic: honesty, and selflessness.

There’s no pretense in a moirallegiance, but an unflinching embrace. The successful moirails we’ve seen (Meowrails, KupFol, arguably GamKar) have always been rooted in banter that may come off as pitch at first glance. This is partly due to general Alternian socialization practice, but I think it also stems from the fact that pale love is founded in knowing every inch of your partner. You know what they are, body and soul, the flaws and the highlights, and while you do not uncritically accept it like a matesprit might, some part of you fundamentally identifies with. Your moirail is that person who you feel like you’ve known for years after talking for a few hours, because something about how they’re wired clicks with you in a way most don’t. As such, there’s less need for posturing. A feelings jam is one of the few places on Alternia where you are allowed to admit to vulnerability, to fear, to frustration, because you know that the other person will have your back unquestioningly without letting you get away with bullshit.

This mutual support stems from the other half of pale love: the desire to see the other person flourish, no matter what. If the matesprit wants you to be happy at their side, the moirail wants you to flourish even if they do not stand to benefit. You experience your moirail’s success like it was your own, and want as good for them or better than you want for yourself.

Some warning signs:

-Burnout. We see this in most clearly in Eridan and Feferi’s case (and a bit in Gamzee and Karkat’s case), but its a genuine risk in moirallegiance. The caretaking HAS to go both ways or the relationship is doomed to fail. More often than not, burnout indicates a failure within the relationship. Your moirail has not been caring for you to the degree you need, and quite possibly you have not been communicating HOW you would like that behavior to change. As I said, honesty is essential, and things ideally should never reach the point of burnout because you are in constant complete openness with your moirail about how you need taking care of.

-Fucked expectations. Romance is a dominating subject on Alternia, for obvious reasons, and one of the biggest hits a moirallegiance can take is a person questioning too far into pale desire until they mistake it for something else. The two are very close, but they are not exactly the same thing and often times the relationship can be sunk by one person getting in their head about that intimacy until they try to make it something it isn’t. Moiraillegiance is not a stepping stone for matesprit or kismesis, and most importantly it is not a consolation prize quadrant. You should never “settle” for moirail, or pale date someone who will accept you as a moirail only if they can’t get you as anything else. You need to want a moirail for a moirails sake, or its just a crush with extra levels of fuckery and expected free therapy.

Kismessitude

Successful/Actually Date(d) Examples: Spades Slick/Sn0wman, Jack Noir/Black Queen, Eridan/Vriska (now broken up), Karkat/Karkat, Mindfang/Dualscar, Terezi/Gamzee, Tagora/Galekh, Bronya/Elwurd.

Crushes (unrequited, thwarted, vacillating): Eridan/Rose, Vriska/Tavros,  Karkat/John, Gamzee/Dave, Sollux/Gamzee, Eridan/Sollux, PM/Bec Noir, Terezi/Vriska, John/Terezi, Konyyl/Skylla, Daraya/Lynera

What it means to me:

I want to structure this as a dismantling of two very common misconceptions I see for this quadrant. One, kismesis is NOT the inherent abuse quadrant. This I believe is working with a faulty definition of what abuse is. Abuse is not simply being mean or engaging in a physical manner with somebody. As has become something of a mantra for this essay, its about expectations. Abuse requires someone to be taking advantage, exploiting a particular vulnerability (or creating it if none inherently exists). What makes a relationship abusive is a situation where someone you SHOULD be able to trust or care for uses those expectations to hurt you, either for personal gain or simply to make themselves feel better. A kismesis is not that, because a healthy kismesis goes in with the expectation of rivalry. For some kismeses, this looks like basic sniping, insults, and jabs. For others, it looks like actual fighting. In either case, its the difference between a boxing match and assault. As long as the rules are being respected, both parties are consented, and someone is checking in to ensure that no one is hurting themselves (sometimes your partner, sometimes your moirail, sometimes your auspitice), then there is nothing inherently wrong with having a circumstance in which you are allowed to work through some nastier feelings without fear of consequence or hurting someone who can’t take it.

The second misconception: kismesis is not just a relationship with some bitchier dialogue. As we’ve seen, being a little bit rude is not restricted to pitch feelings. We have many examples of it in relationships that would be considered unequivocally red or pale on Alternia (KupFol, MeenVris). I go back to the Karkat dialogue constantly. Your kismesis is not just a person you make fun of, but something closer to your true rival (in the shonen anime sense). Its a person who you see so much good (or potential for good in), but who is brought down by some kind of fatal flaw that just grates at you. And so, you fixate on the idea of pushing them out of that flaw, through whatever means necessary.

Its from this fatal flaw that I believe the benefits of kismesis come out. Your kismesis, like your matesprit, has intense passion for you, but doesn’t idealize you. In fact, at points your kismesis may be incredibly aware of the WORST possible version of you. What distinguishes it from platonic hate, though, is the fact that you at your worst doesn’t make them flinch. It makes them want to provoke you, to see how you can change. Kismeses sharpen each other, which is something that rarely feels good but is so often necessary. You should never let your kismesis sit back too far on their laurels, because it is your job to be consciously aware of their faults and call them out on it. 

Additionally, while the hatefucking aspect is often overestimated, I think its not surprising that passion in these kinds of relationships tend to get intense, which is part of why it so often requires some kind of ashen intervention. Once harnessed, though, that passion can be turned to powerful ends for both yourselves and the world around you. 

Some things to watch out for (unsurprisingly there’s a LOT for this one but I’ve distilled it into two broad ones because this thing will be long enough):

Power imbalance: As I said, kismesis is not inherently abusive. However, it DECIDEDLY has the potential to become so, in particular in a society like Alternia where the power strafes are often so significant. This is particularly the case in pitch relationships involving a highblood and a lowblood, especially when the highblood is “steering the ship”. Vriska/Tavros is a good example. If summarized, her feelings for Tavros pre-Sgrub are very straightforward and healthy pitch ones. She admires his potential and envies his kinder relationships while despising his indecisiveness. All fine enough groundwork. However, three factors collaborate to make it a hot disaster: Tavros’s disinterest in her (meaning the pitch advances are unwelcome and in some real sense nonconsensual), Vriska’s own lack of restraint (meaning she takes things too far even for a kismesis), and the inherent caste imbalance (meaning Tavros has no meaningful way of fighting back and nothing in Vriska’s rearing has taught her to care if a lowblood gets hurt by her actions). This isn’t to say a highblood-lowblood (or any humanly imbalanced relationship) can NEVER work, but it requires both parties to put the work in to even the playing field. The highblood needs to actively show restraint, both physically and situationally. This is also where an auspitice generally comes in handy, ensuring things never get to a point where the action becomes one-sided.

Misdirected Rage: As I said, kismessitude is a Space, much like moiraillegiance, that gives you the opportunity to work through some less-than-palatable emotions. Using a pitch date as a way to burn off stress is not inherently invalid; in fact, its often expected and as long as your partner is willing can be one of the better ways to cope with something without having to address it directly. However, this CANNOT be built into the foundation of the relationship. Your kismesis is not a punching bag, but their own person, and the focus always needs to eventually return to that. You cannot effectively sharpen someone else if your anger is never about them, and it is ultimately unfair to constantly ask someone else to consistently bear the brunt of your bad days. This is (debatably) where pitch Gamrezi went wrong. Ultimately that kismesis was never really about each other, but about both of them projecting their self-loathing onto the other person when they were both at incredibly low place, thus making their anger unproductive and meaningless for both of them. As such, any kind of empathy was impossible and they were not able to self-regulate. 

Auspiticism

Succesful/Actually Date(d): Vriska/Kanaya/Tavros, Karkat/Jade/Karkat, Spades Slick/Doc Scratch/Sn0wman, Liv Tyler/Courtyard Droll/Wizardly Vassal, PM/Jade/Bec Noir, Kanaya/Vriska/Rose

Crushes (unrequited, thwarted, vacillating): Vriska/Kanaya/Eridan, Gamzee/Rose/Terezi (look I know this one is practically canon but Rose kind of implies she never really used those auspiticism lessons), Rose/Kanaya/Horrorterrors, Eridan/Feferi/Sollux, Gamzee/Kanaya/Karkat, Dave/Kanaya/Karkat, Konyyl/MSPA Reader/Azdaja.

What it means to me: Ahh the bastard child of quadrants. I’ve got a lot of unpopular opinions on auspiticism (most notably that Kanaya isn’t actually that good at it), but let’s start with defining some things. I believe there are two kinds of auspitices. 

One is the “breakup” auspitice. This is the version described in the infamous romance pages of Homestuck. This version is meant to prevent a black romance from breaking out where one shouldn’t occur, either because one or both parties already has a kismesis or because there is some other mitigating factor that means neither can afford to get bogged down in this crush. A breakup auspitice should ideally be a figure that both parties trust, even in the midst of heated feelings. They should also have the strength of will to continually interfere, and a clear enough head to cut to the root of the issue. Its a thankless task, often, but a very vital one, and most importantly, short-lived. This auspitice’s job only lasts as long as the feelings last. Once both parties have had the chance to cool down (or the circumstances creating the rivalry are at an end), their job is considered over.

The other kind is the version that we arguably see more of in canon, what I call the Third Leaf. This is less an intercessary party and more the third member of a particularly tempestuous kismesis, who will act to ensure the other two leaves don’t cause serious harm to themselves or each other. This relationship is far more long-term, and thus has more requirements. To me, your auspitice is someone who has pale potential with both you AND your kismesis. They know and care about you both on a very deep level, to the point that they are willing to put themselves in the middle of your bullshit very consistently. This means that you trust them enough to call it quits even in the heat of your anger, and you also believe what they tell you about your own pitch partner when their actions need greater contextualization to keep things on the level. This task is often equally challenging, but (hopefully) not as thankless or as pragmatic.

I’ve previously referred to the auspitice as a personified safeword, and I believe that’s very emblematic of the Third Leaf. Even healthy kismeses may reach a point where one needs a day off, or something hits in the wrong way. In a rivalry, though, admitting that isn’t necessarily easy, as its both breaking kayfabe and has the potential to read as more weakness that needs to be excised (”it hurts because its working”). The auspitice is privileged to go between and be believed every time. If your auspitice says its a no go then you better have a pretty damn good reason to ignore them. For some kismeses, overriding the auspitice is grounds to break up once and for all. 

Some warning signs:

Burnout: As is the case with the previously discussed concilliatory quadrant, caretaking can be exhausting. This is especially the case in auspiticism, where the care is often expected to be very one sided, and usually involves dealing with a lot of vitriol, anger, and even physical violence. Obviously its more prevalent in Third Leaf dynamics, but even breakup auspitices can reach a breaking point if they’re not careful. Its important as the ashenmate to understand your own limits. For better or for worse, the focus will not be on you. If you are reaching a low point, then you need to be vocal about this with your other two leaves, or disaster is almost inevitable. The trade-off for this is that (according to my headcanons at least), your ashenmates are expected to drop everything to care for you if you need it. The kismesis will not be safe to proceed until you are back in fighting shape, and as such a truce is declared until they have both done “aftercare” of a sort for you. What this looks like is different for every auspiticism. For some, its alone time. For others, its blanket burritos, movies, and forehead kisses. No matter what, though its IMPERATIVE that you find a method that works for you, because the relationship crumbles without self-care.

Doormatting: As I said, auspiticism is a concilliatory quadrant. As such, there can be a tendency to over-forgive or overwork, especially if your other two leaves have stronger personalities. In particular, ausptices who are closer with one leaf over the other need to be vigilant for favoritism or bowing down. It is your job to contextualize the actions of your ashenmates. It is not your job to do apologetics for them or atone for their actions. Hold them all accountable. They need to be putting in at least as much work as you do to make their relationship work and not just offset the emotional repair to you.

Controlling: The inverse of this is the power-tripping auspitice. This seems unlikely, but its more of a threat than one might think, in my view. Because of the trust auspitices command by virtue of their position and their relationship with the other two leaves, their word is in some sense law. This can be addictive to some people, and lead to an abuse of power that can be just as toxic as in any other quadrant. It can look like scolding your ashenmates far too much, placing yourself at the center of their issues, or even punishing them for annoying you when what they’re doing is perfectly acceptable within the context of a kismessitude. As I said, self-care is important for an auspitice, but selflessness needs to be at the core of concilliatory dynamics. You are here because you genuinely want good for the people you are mediating for. If the relationship has become all about you, then something has gone horribly wrong. Avoid the urge to power trip just because the role is sometimes a Lot. 

[transformationstuck]

Amalagam Story

Jane was practically sick of trolls at this point. Ever since the entire fiasco had went down, her father gone, and the rise of complaints against her campaign by the majority of the troll population, she wanted them gone from this Earth. It had been a single month since she had deported most of the trolls using small legal constraints to other planets, where they’d continue with their meaningless banter of trying to disobey her. Why, she had been trying her hardest to conform the trolls to her ways, and look where that got her! Nowhere. Frankly, the next time she was going to see a candy corn horn, there was going to be a reckoning.

And yet there was no avoiding it. The twelve initial trolls who had assisted in the beta session remained within the galaxy. Some were taken care of, however discretely. She had devised Nepeta’s ship to crash into one of the deadliest planet to ever live in, and while she expectantly made herself the apex predators against all the face-sucking, marrow-gnawing monstrosities that lived on the planet, she had no way out. Kanaya was permanently disposed off with Rose after an indefinite honeymoon, with a small gift. Perhaps calling it small was the wrong thing, but she sure hoped Rose enjoyed pounding onto her wife like an animal in heat, because that’s practically what those two would be. Both Aradia and Vriska were off the books, considering the former was always missing and off doing something and the latter was currently the leader of the rebellion against her. Terezi and Feferi were far too important people in her campaign to even consider removing their existence, so she would have to simply tolerate them. After all, any legal issues regarding trolls would be pushed by the Pyrope and the former Heiress gave her such political power with her blood color. That left, coincidentally, all the male trolls.

And wasn’t it John’s birthday soon anyways? Might as well prepare him a gift.

——–

The first one was easy. All it took was two drones, a burlap sack, and there was a rather large lump of troll in front of her desk, with two ridiculously large horns protruding out of it.

“I didn’t ask for him to literally bring him to me. Look at the mess he’s making on the carpet! That’s just vacuumed! Get him out of here!”

The drones obeyed, though finding themselves difficulty immediately upon a certain conundrum.

“Tilt him sideways. SIDEWAYS! Why are you rotating him vertically? I meant horizontally! I know the horn is stuck. Just back off, don’t use brute force and…”

CRACK!

As Jane felt a pressure build on her neck, she decided that whenever trolls were involved, so were her migraines.

———

“… What did I tell you about bringing him to me LITERALLY? Again with the carpet? Do you know how difficult honey is to wipe off a carpet? Have you even baked before? Obviously you haven’t baked before, but I’ll do it myself this time. Just… dump him! In the vat! Now shoo!”

———–

“… Just put a sock in his mouth and get it over with.”

———-

“Yoo hoo, handsome. I got a surprise for you~.” The hallway was empty save for a lumbering figure, who seemed rather confused and tilting his head quizically, to the point where his head was rotating in a perpendicular manner. That was most certainly not the way a head should rotate, and the fact that she was wearing nothing but a single sheet of apron was already making her feel more vulnerable.

“Come on, handsome. I know you want it.” She held up a pie, which was green and what she would consider the complete disregard for basic culinary needs. A single whiff was more than enough to make her feel disgusted, and she wondered how anyone could even take a bite off of it.

Still no response, which meant that she had to bring out the big guns. Taking a deep breath, Jane winked, twice, and each wink followed by a short honk.

That did it, as the juggalo basically launched himself, erect cock showing through his stupid codpiece, and Jane found herself wanting to fall for the same mistake of letting the clown in her bedsheet again.

Click.

As Gamzee fell down the trapdoor she had long since set up in case something like this would ever happen, Jane sighed with relief, rubbing her head, and massaging her boob. “God, I actually should get a dick some time soon… And preferably not a clown’s…”

———

“… Excuse me, correct me if I’m hearing this right.”

A rather muscular troll, sweating profusely and smelling like a hung horse and a broken engine sat in front of her desk. The poor furniture was now drenched, and already a dark circle was forming underneath the carpet.

“You want in on this project. After I kidnapped you friends? Condemn them to a horrible experiment that’ll leave their body gone, potentially the mind, and you want in on this?”

A nod. And a sigh from her direction, before she tugged lightly on the rope that was currently binding Equius’s neck.

“You know I was going to disregard you since you were somewhat helpful, right?”

Another nod. Another tug. The troll’s face began to glow bluer by the second, but that deranged smile of him absolutely wanting this behind the leather restraints made her think of all trolls were like this.

Especially when he had been like this for the past three hours.

“I swear, trolls…” She waved to her drones to take him away, but it seemed like the ingredients were complete.

Though she felt like she was forgetting something, she was sure it wasn’t that important if she could remember it.

———

In front of her stood approximately 1000 lb of troll flesh, complete with 5 pairs of horns, 5 pairs of misplaced arms and legs, the most obvious bulges ever, some obviously aroused, and few facial features which she proceeded to shut up. The process was going to be painstakingly simple, as she started to channel the Life into the body.

It hadn’t taken much for her to channel the five into a single blob majorly for safekeeping. She couldn’t risk any of them breaking out and spoiling her plan, so she had made them into what was a large meatball, feeding them all the surplus baked goods until they grew fat and complacent, and practically no traces of bone structure remained from the excessive flesh gained from consumption.

Push, knead. Push, knead. Minute by minute, the flesh began to sink underneath her hands, folding and mixing until gray became pink, round shape forming into more humanoid, a thousand pounds now beginning to dwindle into approximately one tenth of its original weight.

It was then that she called John.

“John.” She said with a quick, snappy tone that immediately informed her ecto-grandson that she meant business. “If you were looking for a relationship, what would you look for in a woman?”

“… What?” A click of her tongue immediately made John regret questioning Jane. There was something about her that intimidated him ever since her campaign began, but still, the question remained. “I mean… Nice, I guess? If you are asking about her personality o-”

“I meant a sexual relationship. Jesus Christ, get on with it!”

“Right, right. So uh… huge boobs.” Silence from her end was interpreted as a signal to continue as she proceeded to knead whatever was left over into a round shape, over the currently very flat chest with little to no definition. “I mean, some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers, packing some dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabankl-”

“John!”

“Right… Uh… Big ol’ tonhongerekoogers.” With that, John paused, and added, “And some thighs please. I like them thick.”

———–

It wasn’t long before Jane was done, staring at her masterpiece she had taken three hours of pure Life to create. An hourglass figure, melon-sized titties, and the very definition of thunder thighs. It wasn’t long before they started moving, which, at that point, she wasn’t exactly sure what happened. One moment they had been lying down unconscious, the next thing, they were, and each limbs proceeded to move completely independent of each other. It wasn’t until she stuffed the horse-dildo in their seemingly very aroused entrance with rough force did they proceed to break out of her lab through sheer willpower.

It wasn’t long before she found her, though not directly. She had left her be for now, and it seemed that, as intended, John had found her first.

The various names mixed together had mistakenly led John to believe she was named “Etiquette.” Though a strange name, she had come a long way from being five different trolls to one hot little body. Sure, disjointed complaints and moans of pleasure occasionally seemed to confuse John, as well as her habit of talking to herself, but once she got in bed, he had no complaints. Sometimes she demanded a larger dildo stuffed down her ass. Sometimes she wanted to do nothing but videogames. Sometimes she started honking like a clown as she rode John cowgirl style, which obviously terrified John as much as it aroused him. It did leave Jane to wonder if they all shared an internal voice, or argued over what to do next, seizing control or each other? Or perhaps they got adapted to controlling their body in a uniform style? Or perhaps all of their personality got melded into one. Jane could potentially find out, but decided against it. As she closed the feed of John pounding Etiquette to the next pleasure-town, the way her fingers and toes twitched, her arms and legs occasionally moving as opposed to how she was acting, she knew that at the very least she got rid of an eyesore.

[limeinaltime]

The Limeverse is basically a timeline that split off from Homestuck so while everyone’s trapped in canonically dubious hell, the canon characters in the Limeverse are vibing and living their best lives while Lilith and Lyerre Neon Genesis Evangelion their way to the top of the eldritch heirarchy so it can stay that way. I am open to suggestions, but here’s what I have in my head so far:

- June becomes a stand-up comedian, but sticks to small shows instead of going big

- Rose’s main work involves grub adoption and the healtcare of the Mother Grub, but she also ends up making a few novels in the future

- Dave ends up working for the defense force Earth C set up during the absence of the gods and the uprising of eldritch horrors from the void, and mainly works as a trainer for the rookies. Dude’s kind of awkward with them, but is very encouraging and understanding. Also he makes SBAHJ a youtube animated series or something in his spare time SBAHJ cinematic universe real

- Jade works in nuclear physics, but also has her own garden/flower shop that she runs with Davepetasprite. They built their home in the field that borders the city and live a nice life. Since she’s the second most powerful being on Earth C, Jade and Lilith work together sometimes, mainly in the evacutaion of citizens in case of an emergency, as well as damage control.

- Jane basically tears Corckercorp to the ground and makes her own baking business alongside the Nanasprites, her dad and Jasperose. It’s a hit, and she learns to make the healing cookies and sells them to hospitals. Make a living, save some lives :D While she says she’s not focusing on romance atm, there’s definitely something forming between her and Jasperosesprite ;)

- I don’t have any ideas for Roxy, but she’s happy with where she is and still stays in touch with her friends

- Dirk is a mechanic, but also collabs with Dave on SBAHJ

- IDK what Jake would do for a living yet, but it would involve traveling Earth C and rediscovering the old world

- Aradia becomes an archeologist and helps recover stuff from the Old Earth alongside Jake. Since she no longer has to worry about her short lifespan (with the defeat of the Condesce, the age effects of the caste system vanished with the new generation of trolls, and she’s immortal so yeah) I feel like she’d end up teaching a college course on anthropology in the far future and when her students ask if she was really there as a joke she just does that signature Aradia smile and continues with the lecture.

- Tavros breaks off from the friend group to do his own thing and gets a job as a zookeeper. He’s still better with animals than he is with people, but he’s a lot more confident and happier than he was before. He probably looks the most like his ancestor.

- Sollux was an IT worker before Lilith came to Earth C, hated it, worked at Starbucks for a bit, got called up by Karkat and became a pilot. He’s the “youngest” of the goldbloods (minus the 5000-year time skip) but the best flier and had an easy time passing the entrance exam. He and Karkat are still good friends/rivals, and pretty much everyone in the entire force knows he’s got it bad for their eldritch ally. Everyone in the force is a Solith shipper lol.

-Lyerre is a pole dance instructor, but also works as a stand-in guardian while Lilith’s off doing DF work. He usually teams up with Horrorterror and can kick ass just as well as Lilith can. He also takes on gigs as resturants and bars as a singer, but Lilith usually tags along to keep his siren powers from getting too out of control.

- Commander Karkat is canon in this AU, and he’s one of the main heads of the defense force. He’s long given up on trying to be like his ancestor, and instead leads in his own snappy but well-meaning way. He works with Lilith a lot to help keep the citizens safe when she has to toss a giant monster into the stratosphere, and she trained him to fight on the side. Yeah, he can try to come off as cool and tough (dude hit one hell of a growth spurt during his adult molt and still lords it over his friends) but everyone knows that he’s a total softy deep down thanks to Dave.

- Nepeta also joins the defense force and is one of their best fighters. She and Equius are roommates and he frets constantly when she goes off on business trips and stuff. She has a huge celebrity crush on Lilith.

- Kanaya works with the Mother Grub, but also makes clothes as a side job. She’s gotten offers from companies, but so far has turned them all down. She doesn’t work with the defense force, but Karkat will call her up if the threat is small enough in size for her to handle. When they first met her, his squad mates thought she was his mom.

- Terezi went to law school and pretty much turned the entire justice system on its’ head overnight. She is Earth C’s most insightful, un-biased, cutthroat, take-no-shit judge, and every defense attorney and lawyer trembles in her presence because no amount of defense is getting your child murderer client out of this one Jimmy don’t even try her. They say she can smell a lie from a mile away, and they are 100% right.

- Vriska also joins the defense force and is possibly the scariest soldier they have. She mostly deals with normal threats and is head of her squadron, but also helps with planning and strategizing. She has a one-sided rivalry with Lilith, who keeps unintentionally one-upping her by putting yet another giant monster in a chokehold. Oops.

- Equius works with Dirk at the mech shop. He’s learned to better control his strength, and lets off steam by going to the gym and working out. There’s a specific section built exclusively for indigobloods since they’re naturally stronger than the average troll, so he goes there and has made some new friends. Nepeta tags along a lot and is happy that her moirail is branching out socially.

- Following the removal of LE and Apofis from his mind and going into rehab for the effects of the sopor (new planet, new medical practices ye), Gamzee kind of drifted around for a bit before tagging along with Tavros. He’s still figuring himself out, but he’s doing much better with the help of Tavros and occasional check-ins with Lilith to make sure LE and Apofis are gone for good. He also works at the zoo atm.

- Eridan “begrudgingly” joined the defense force and got a job in the maritime squadron. He’s their main navigator and is usually the one to plot out courses for patrols and go along on marine-based missions.

- Since she’s no longer obligated to become Empress, Feferi’s been able to branch out and ends up getting a job at the aquarium. She takes care of the animals and secretly uses her healing powers to patch them up if they get scratched or bump into things. She gets really emotional when she has to release the ones she takes care of back into the wild but has learned that sometimes it’s for the best. She helped Aradia find some stuff from a submerged section of what used to be New York and they’ve been close ever since.

-Lilith’s job is basically get beat up and keep everyone from dying. Luckily, the eldritch entities pay her well.

Everyone gets therapy

[themockingcrows]

Second Base Desserts

Davepetasprite/John Egbert This chapter is Mildly Spicy and thus Not SFW. cw: sloppy makeouts, grinding, and copious boob touch. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25320091

     To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Of course John was nervous. Davepeta was a culmination of one of his best friends he’d had a crush on for years when he was younger and a troll he’d never met in life, all blended up into a creature that was one of the cutest things he’d ever seen. Sprites were confusing in how they worked, though people had tried to explain it to him multiple times, including the sprites themselves… but when it came down to it, John just knew they were their own person and their own being, and that was enough. Davepeta was no more Nepeta than Dave or Davesprite or vice versa, and while there were memories of all sides, they were far more than the sum of their parts.

     It was kind of amazing to him. 

     Wait, no, he was supposed to be nervous about his upcoming date, not waxing poetic and daydreaming about the sprite he was going to be spending time with. John slapped either side of his face a few times with both hands before looking more seriously into the mirror, examining his features. Same eyes, same brows, same nose, same zit on his chin, sam-

     Fuck, why now?! Was it the stress? It was probably the stress, why else would he be breaking out like a teenager in his 20’s? Cussing his under breath John took care of the pustule and washed his face in the sink, finishing off with cool water, puffing a bit of air from his hand at his face to dry it rather than search blindly for the towel hanging to the side. The circle of stupidity may have been completed long ago, but it would never be complete enough for him to grab it on the first reaching try.

     Okay. There, everything looked to be in order now. Satisfied with the mirror, John went and bulldozed his way through a half dozen shirts, trying to find something that looked good without trying too hard. Joke shirt? No. Meme shirt? Fuck, no, though laser cat would have his day eventually. Button down? ...Hm. The button down had merit, dressy but not too dressy. He knew he’d look clean cut and presentable, and it didn’t make him look too skinny when he wore a shirt under it and left it open…

     A look at his watch, another bit of cussing, and John raced to get the shirts on, as well as his pants. Out of time, out of time. He was just starting to jump into his shoes when the doorbell rang and caught his attention, making him nearly trip over the stairs in his hurry to get down there in time. Floating all but left his mind as he rushed, relying on his legs to get the job done.

     “Hey! Sorry you were… waiting,” John trailed off, mouth suddenly gone dry. Davepeta was taller than him by half a head, and this was added to by a set of heeled sandals today. They wore a shortish skirt with a bottom wave and a frilled edge, dark leggings that reached their calves, and a band t-shirt that had shredded shoulders and a shredded side that just showed the strap of a red bra beneath over their pale flashing skin. With their wings folded behind their back, it was kind of mesmerizing, glittering instead of flashing. He couldn’t track or trace the changing colors accurately, as they seemed to meld into each other just around the edges of papery white like pearlescence in the light.

     “I wasn’t waiting long at all, your timing is purrfect,” they said with a grin, showing off sharp canines. John wet his lips briefly, trying not to gawk too much.

     Shit. Shit, shit, shit. He had a date with this person and he could barely keep his head straight. 

     “Yeah,” he said, awkwardly standing still until Davepeta tipped their head to the side and grinned again.

     “...Should I come in? Or do you want to just go?”

     “Wh- oh. Yeah. I’m uh. Yeah, let me just grab my wallet and keys real quick,” he said, darting away from the door to fumble his wallet and phone and jam them into his pocket, and get his keys into his hand from the bowl by the door. “Did you uh. Did you decide what you wanted to eat?”

     “Yeah, I’m open to pretty much anything, but burgers can’t go wrong as a fallback,” they said, patiently waiting while John collected himself before popping outside and locking up.

     “How are you with chopsticks?”

     Davepeta was quiet for a moment, tipping their head back and searching their memories. Chopsticks, chopsticks.. Dave knew how to use them. Nepeta didn’t seem to. Would they be able to do it? Access the muscle memory correctly and certainly it should be possible.

     “I think I’m pretty good,” they finally said. 

     “Buffet, maybe?”

     “Sounds fun!” they said, reaching out the grasping John’s arm, tugging him close excitedly as he pulled his phone back out to search for the address. He felt their chest against his shoulder, warm and pliant, and it took even more effort than before to keep his thumb sliding smoothly against the screen. Food. Focus on food.

     ...

     Boobs.

     No, food. Focus on the food. Boobs later.

     Boobs later?

     Maybe? 

     GEEZE, COME ON JOHN, WHERE���S THE FUCKING FOOD.

     Oh, there it was. Though he’d eaten there at least a dozen times since making sure they didn’t use peanut oil, directions escaped him when his mind was this distracted by his date. He showed the screen to Davepeta for their confirmation and acceptance, and found himself grinning when they smiled and nodded at the suggestion.

     ...Fuck their smile was cute. The slight cleft of their lip that gave a distinctly feline appearance, the sharp teeth, yet the familiar nose and eyes and chin of his friend. Soon as he’d slipped his phone into his pocket once more, John felt his feet leaving the ground, the sprite already excitedly taking flight to lead them along.

     “Wait, I uh. I thought it’d be kind of nice to walk,” John admitted, hovering.

     Davepeta thought it over before nodding and returning to the ground, tucking their wings behind their body once more. “We’re not that far off, I guess you’re right. More room to talk while walking,” they agreed.

     “Yeah, exactly,” John said, setting off in the correct direction once Davepeta curled onto his arm once more. Their size difference made it a bit awkward, but neither of them seemed to care. Davepeta’s tail curled gently against his leg now and then as they walked, and the air was filled with chatter about movies, about snacks, about what they’d done the last few days. John found himself being quieter to listen to Davepeta’s fascinating depiction of normal everyday things, somehow making the most mundane things seem exciting. 

     Late night ice cream became an adventure, chasing birds in the sky was a sport worthy of competition, and managing to do their laundry naked without getting caught so everything wound up clean at the same time was the most distracting thing John had ever heard in his life. It became almost impossible not to imagine what they looked like underneath that cute outfit as they walked, to not ponder the shape of their thighs based on their stride. Their arrival at the buffet was just in time for John to keep his sanity, getting a table for two in a booth off to the side.

     When John started to walk towards the buffet after their seats were secured, Davepeta looked prepared to hang back for some reason. Odd, considering how gung ho they were about every experience normally.

     “You okay? We could go somewhere else if this isn’t what you’re hungry for.”

     “No, no, it’s fine. Really! I’m just…” they trailed off, glancing to the buffet before back to John with an awkward smile. “There’s a lot of things I haven’t tried, so I don’t know what I’ll like or not for sure.”

     “Wouldn’t memories of what Dave liked help?” John asked, a little confused.

     “Yeah, it’d be a good guideline for what I’d probably like, but my taste buds are different now, remember?” they said with an amused grin. “Dave loves chocolate ice cream and I like strawberry. Nepeta’s favorite flavor was exclusive to Alternia but she likes vanilla too. The things that Davesprite and Dave and Nepeta liked aren’t always what I like. ...And that’s a lot of new stuff to try out.”

     “I’m surprised you haven’t gone to a place like this before, considering how much you like new experiences,” John said, offering his hand. “But c’mon, that’s half the fun of buffets! We’ll load your plate up with a bite of everything and see what you like. I’ll just snag what you don’t like,” he offered. That seemed to do the trick, brightening Davepeta back up. 

     It became an adventure again. Different meats and vegetables were loaded up onto Davepeta’s plate in small portions, the sweet and sour chicken, the sesame beef, the noodles and fried rice. Spicy things, sour things, sweet things, salted things that even John tended to shy away from were added till they had a full plate and were sweeping back to their booth while John got a few of his favorite standbys and followed suit. Their drinks were waiting on them, bubbly cola with straws placed beside the glasses that were already sweating from how cold the liquid in the glass was compared to the room.

     John had grabbed a set of forks as well as his chopsticks just in case they turned out useful, but Davepeta seemed to have the hang of their utensils just fine after a few clumsy attempts at picking something up. The motion became more fluid, more experienced, truly the hand of someone who’d lived on takeout for a good chunk of his life exerting some presence from within the amalgamation that was John’s date.

     “Ohhh this is good,” they crooned, touching the side of their face after a few bites of one section of their plate, savoring the flavor.

     John, charmed, stirred his food for a moment or two to just observe and grin at them before tucking into his own plate. No matter how churning his stomach was with attraction, butterflies aplenty, food was still food and John was still hungry. His focus on the plate and the food and the spectacle of Davepeta discovering and savoring different items on their plate made it all the more surprising when he felt something soft stroke against his calf. ...Tail? It was probably their tail, it seemed to like curling around things sometimes and didn’t seem to have much directionality on its ow- that was a foot. That was Davepeta’s foot stroking against his leg. That was his date’s foot trailing up his leg and over his knee, up to his thigh and back down. Shivering, John stared at Davepeta for some kind of clue, a hint, as to what was happening.

     It took a moment to detect the predatory look in their eyes behind their shades, the faint quirk of their lips as they ate and slowed their talking, but once John became aware of it it was impossible to ignore. This was like a game of chicken: the first one to break and talk about the elephant in the room of what was happening under the table lost. John didn’t want to break the magic, and Davepeta seemed to have their own ideas.

     The game was on.

     “I don’t think I like the noodles much, would you like them?”

     “Oh. Yeah uh. I’ve got room,” John said. A bit of sauce and he’d be content to eat them with everything else on his plate. But it was hard to think of food and eating when he felt the delicate stroking along his inner thigh once more, felt the heat rushing to his ears and cheeks as he reached over with his chopsticks to scoop up a bit of the noodles. It took three tries to securely scoop well enough to get the majority of the noodles lifted and onto his plate safely, hand shaking every time he felt the stroking take a long, leisurely trail down or up his leg.

     Davepeta, compared to his tense, flushing mess of a display, was calm and collected and attentive as ever. Every twitch, every inch of blushing, was being weighed and calculated like a hunter surveying their prey. They dined on their General Tso’s chicken with their lips curled back into a grin, amused, playful. John didn’t know what he liked more: Davepeta’s chatty and excitable nature, or when they got like this and he knew he was the only thing being looked at in the room.

     John managed to keep himself quiet while they stroked at him off and on, stopping now and then to just rest their legs together, other times hooking their toes behind his ankle and positioning his shorter leg how they wanted it before beginning to stroke  anew. It became less intimidating, less awkward as it went on, and John found himself relaxing into their touch.

     Didn’t stop his brain from wandering, though, right into the gutter. What if it was their hand doing the tracing. What if they didn’t stop at his thigh and went further up? How would they react, knowing he was already half erect just from being teased? 

     What if it was their lips tracing up and along his thighs...? What if they went just that little bit higher. What would a blowjob feel like from them, all fanged and sweet lipped? Would they tease him as much as they were now, or would their eagerness take over and-

     “John, how do you feel about bell peppers?”

     Dazed, unaware of how long he’d been staring without eating, John dropped his chopsticks and reached for his drink instead of picking them up right away.

     “Bell peppers? Bell peppers. I don’t mind them,” he said. “Do you need them taken away?”

     “They’ve got a bit of a weird aftertaste,” admitted Davepeta, picking a few peppers out of their meal to offer to John, who mixed them in with his earlier taken noodles without question.

     The teasing trailed off after that, Davepeta slipping their foot back into their sandal, though their tail occasionally made appearances below and above the edge of the table, whipping around and curling around itself when they ate something they particularly enjoyed.

     “Wanna get ice cream for dessert after this?” John asked. “I know a place that has really good cones and flavors.”

     Davepeta perked up and nodded, beaming. More adventures? More adventures. More things to try and places to go on their date, of course they were game.

     “We can fly for that part I think since it’s a ways off from here,” John said. “The shop is kinda crowded, it’d be nice to find a spot to eat them afterwards too.”

     “I think I know a few spots,” Davepeta said, toying with a piece of beef before popping it into their mouth, licking their upper lip afterwards. “Think you’ll be able to keep up if I go fast?”

     John smirked. “You’re speaking to someone who’s the master of wind, I think I can keep up.”

     “Yeah, yeah, heir of breath, blah blah blah. You’re not used to racing against a sprite like me,” they said smugly, playfully preening themselves for a moment before going back to picking at what was left on their plate. “But yeah, that sounds good to me!”

     The rest of their meal passed in easy quiet, John winding up comfortably full with room for dessert by the time it came to pay. He pulled out his wallet, but Davepeta was already quicker to pay, leaving him to handle the tip instead. Deciding to be quicker on the draw, John promised himself he’d at least pay for the ice cream once they bought it, to even things out.

     They left hand in hand before taking off to the sky, Davepeta unfurling their wings even if they weren’t really needed for flight, with John just glad that he wasn’t attached to his hair looking anything but windswept and messy as a gust knocked them sideways and added a bit of fun to their journey. John eventually pointed down at the top of a specific building, the two of them lowering down about a block away before walking the remainder of the distance on foot, remaining hand in hand. Davepeta’s skin was warm and soft against John’s palm, and all he could do was pray his hands didn’t go sweaty from nerves.

     Why was he so nervous? He didn’t need to impress anyone, the hardest part had already happened! Davepeta had asked him out suddenly a brief while ago, and since there was no reason to say no he’d rolled with it. The more he’d thought about where it might lead, though, the more nervous John had grown. Thinking about holding hands had already happened, thinking about their lips and their throat and everything else just made him more and more flustered, yet he couldn’t help it. Everything about them was glowing, and every time they talked it sounded like music to him.

     ...Fuck, he had it bad didn’t he.

     “I think I’m gonna get the toffee and coffee,” John said after looking at the menu. A double scoop sounded doable, plenty sweet and bitter to tide him over. Davepeta took their time looking over the menu before deciding on strawberry cheesecake and a key lime pie flavor, letting John pay as they smoothed a crest in their ice cream with their tongue. They didn’t walk very far before taking flight once more, Davepeta taking the lead this time, tugging John along by the hand towards… the woods? John was surprised by how dense the brush looked, but when an opening appeared, Davepeta began to steer them downwards and he followed without question.

     The clearing was pleasant, grasses and flowers aplenty in the open sunlight, fallen trees blocking the way save for deer trails. It seemed deep enough that foot traffic would be at a minimum, if there was any at all that didn’t reside on four legs. All around them was birdsong and the sounds of the forest. Peaceful. Quiet. Davepeta released his hand only long enough to pull a thin branch back out of the way for him to pass with his ice cream, taking a seat on one of the larger fallen logs. How old had this tree even been? Part of John wished he could understand tree rings, or however the heck they figured out the age of trees, just to get an idea of how ancient the fallen one actually was before he’d been able to use it as a chair.

     They sat side by side, arm to arm, as they ate their ice cream. Davepeta was eating a little quicker than John, curling their tongue around sections of the treat and pulling them in without getting brain freeze, while John continued to lick from bottom to top to avoid getting the sweet sticky flavors all over his hand. The weather was warm, so activity had to be constant to keep ahead of the melting.

     “Hey, John,” Davepeta suddenly said. “...Why did you agree to go out with me?”

     “Huh? Well… I dunno,” he said. “You’re sweet, and pretty, and it’s nice to be around you. We like a lot of the same things. And, well. I mean. You asked,” he chuckled. “It seemed like a good move, you know?”

     Davepeta considered the answer and seemed to be content with it, continuing to lathe their tongue over their ice cream for a moment before speaking up once more.

     “Hey, John.”

     “Hmm?”

     “What do you think of this?” they asked.

     Unable to see what they were speaking about, John turned his head to take a peek, only to be caught in a kiss. It was chilly from ice cream, and a little sticky, sweet with dessert flavors and their own lips behind it. All things considered it was a good first kiss… except Davepeta didn’t pull back after a moment. Instead, they tilted their head and pushed forwards a little bit, catching John’s bottom lip between their sharp teeth and toying with it. John heard the softest crunch possible as his hand tightened on his cone, threatening its stability with his anxiety.

     Anxiety? What was there to be anxious about? A really attractive sprite was kissing him and… John sighed out a soft breath and relaxed more, kissing them back.

     Ice cream melted down over his fist in thin rivulets by the time Davepeta let him loose, grinning and flushing a gentle shade of green over their pearlescent features.

     “...Wow,” John said eventually, grinning. Lovestruck. Fuck, he did have it bad, and he couldn’t care less who knew right then. “Oh, shit,” he hissed upon realizing his ice cream was melting so fast, licking along his fist before stuffing some of the mound into his mouth and biting down. Another hiss and he tossed his head back to huff warmer air as he swallowed the treat down with a grimace, groaning under his breath. “Augh, brain freeze, brain freeze!”

     “Hah! Who even gets brain freeze from ice cream,” chuckled Davepeta, taking a large bite of their own quickly melting treat before grimacing and tilting their head back with a quiet groan.

     “Oh, I’m sorry, did a certain sprite get brain freeze too? Hmm? After razzing me about mine? How convenient, it’s almost like karma!”

     Sulking, Davepeta lapped the ice cream away from their hand before munching on the sweet cone, glad to be free of the pain in their teeth and head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Victory is sweet or whatever,” they snorted.

     When John finished his cone, he rubbed his hand on his pants without a second thought to clean and dry his fingers of the residue, then leaned back and looked up towards the sky.

     “Hey, Davepeta. Since you asked why I said yes earlier… why did you ask me out?” John asked, glancing over briefly before looking to the sky again. “I mean. You kind of have your choice of everyone in the world, why me?”

     “Because I like you,” Davepeta replied simply. “The parts of me like you too, in their own ways, but at the end of the day you’re precious to me. And I wanted to try keeping you by my side.”

     Birds sang overhead and behind them for a moment as the air settled between their realities, binding them together in the air they breathed. Davepeta soon scooted closer, twining around John’s nearest arm and resting their head on his shoulder in the quiet peace.

     “I was worried you wouldn’t say yes at first. That you’d think I was joking or something,” Davepeta admitted, before grinning up at him. “But then you said yes and it’s  been great so far!”

     “All we’ve done is eat so far,” John laughed.

     “Well, yeah, but we’ve also…” trailed off Davepeta, catching John in another kiss. There was no ice cream to worry about this time, no timer in the back of his head, no cold against his mouth. John could feel the slight cleft of their upper lip, the strong press of their mouth, the soft give of their lower lip as they parted naturally against his own. Instead of teasing his lower lip this time, Davepeta began to press against his side more fully. John felt the push of their breasts again and hitched his breath, but the pressure only increased. Slow and steady, Davepeta coaxed John to the side, getting him to lay mostly on his back on the fallen log as they leaned over him, weight welcoming and warm against his chest.

     John’s mind blanked. All he was able to focus on was tactile sensation now, warmth and pressure, birdsong, the feeling of breath against his face, of long legs straddling his thighs and caging his upper body in place. When Davepeta deepened the kiss, he followed without even thinking of it, opening his mouth in invitation and groaning under his breath when he felt the first slip of their tongue against his own. The aftertaste of key lime pie was still there, sweet and welcoming as fingers combed through his hair bit by bit.

     Unsure of where to put his own hands, John settled first for resting his hands on Davepeta’s waist, kneading at their hips the longer the kisses went on. Slowly though, ever so slowly, Davepeta lowered a hand and grasped one of John’s, pulling it up further along their long body towards their chest. He hesitated, trying to stall his hand for a moment, but Davepeta’s insistence soothed his concerns. Eventually, John had a hand full of breast he didn’t know what to do with, and broke the kiss to gasp for air.

     “I- What’s. Are you sure? I mean, I’m kinda-” John murmured embarrassedly, glancing from Davepeta’s eyes down between them where his hand rested. Further down he was trying and failing to keep his body calm, already half erect again and just fucking praying in the back of his mind that his date didn’t notice how little control he had over himself. He couldn’t arch his back away from them to hide it, after all, the bit of tent was there for them to observe if they moved forward at all.

     “If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have put your hand there,” purred Davepeta, grin widening when John gave a gentle, hesitant knead of the flesh beneath the shirt. “Have you got any idea how long I’ve wanted your hands on me..?”

     John had assumed things didn’t work like the movies, and yet here he was, with a ridiculously attractive person straddling him and putting a hand on their chest as if it belonged there. ...It did feel pretty damn nice, soft and warm. He understood the appeal of them more intrinsically now, and decided that since it seemed to be okay to be there, that… perhaps he could be a bit more daring. His hand ventured lower again before slipping beneath Davepeta’s shirt, riding up over their pearly skin to the base of their bra and up over the cup. When there was no sign of this being a negative, he bit his lip and slid his fingertips inside the front of the bra, feeling at their bared skin as if he were trying to memorize it.

     Davepeta ground their hips down and forwards gently, and John saw white for a moment, hand stilling. Whoops, okay, apparently he was a little more than half erect now. His brows lifted in surprise as he huffed a breath out, though Davepeta merely purred at him again, leaning forwards and down to kiss at the side of his neck, pulling his collar back out of the way to expose more flesh to their mouth. Another grind, and John’s fingers squeezed more firmly, earning him a groan of appreciation.

     ...Okay. Okay, that was a nice sound, how could he get more of those.

     “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

     “Maybe another time,” Davepeta murmured against his throat, smirking and giggling a bit when John tensed up and held his breath in. “I’m kidding… I mean it, but I’m just teasing right now,” they tried to clarify. “I don’t think either of us are quite ready for that yet.” Getting John to touch a boob was one thing, getting him calm enough to handle a very different set of genitals might be something entirely different. It was hard to tell, really, just how much effort their mutual interests might take to have happen.

     That helped and didn’t help, but John’s brain was soon plenty occupied by Davepeta continuing to rock their hips, upper body swaying against his palm and fingers as the breast he’d been teasing slid free of the bra entirely to rest overtop of the fabric.

     “Gimme another kiss,” John murmured softly against Davepeta’s pointed ear, free hand raising to comb through their hair when their lips locked once more. All it took was a few strokes to the horn for them to groan once more, deepening the kiss with an eager lick.

     The pair moved in tandem easily after that, grinding together at the hip lazy and slow, John kneading at their chest and playing with their horns whenever he could remember to get his hands working, Davepeta bracing their upper body on the tree trunk beneath them and trying to not bite John too hard whenever he broke the kiss to nip and kiss at his throat.

     It felt natural.

     It felt normal.

     It felt like they’d been doing this for ages instead of it being spur of the moment, caught up in one another’s charms so thoroughly that time held no meaning anymore. It was just them, nature, and the sunlight showering down on them from above. 

     Davepeta gently scratched at John’s sides whenever he focused both hands on their chest or their horns, and outright moaned when he left a hickey on the nape of their neck. He took his time with it, not wanting to hurt them, but also wanting to make it solid, a primal part of his brain wanting to show that not only he’d been there but that he’d been so welcomed there he could take his time and make something like that stand out. When he pulled back to check his work, the top edge of it looked so pretty peeking out over the top hem of the collar that he hummed and ducked down to boldly add a few more pearls to the string he had started.

     The grinding eventually slowed to a stop, and Davepeta rolled, dragging John along with them to the ground, soft moss against the edge of the log giving way to the rich looking grass that spread out beyond them like a blanket. Their hair was mussed, their cheeks were flushed, and neither of them wanted to be apart for any length of time. They wound up side by side, watching each other’s face and eyes through crooked glasses and shades as the clouds rolled on overhead. A bird lit upon the space they’d been sitting on, twittered at them till one of Davepeta’s ears twitched, and then flew off once more.

     Davepeta smirked, amused.

     “...And to think, I thought you might be kind of shy!”

     “Me? Shy?” John asked, confused. “I don’t think I’m that shy..”

     “Maybe it’s just because you’re smaller than me, you give off this kind of shy air,” Davepeta admitted. “But geeze, once you get used to something it’s like you were made for it!” they teased.

     John flushed, but smirked back, crooked teeth giving his face an impish appearance.

     “Well. You started it, to be fair.”

     “Finished it too,” Davepeta said proudly.

     “...Wanna have another date next weekend?”

     “Of course!”

     “My place? We can watch movies and stuff.”

     Davepeta lifted their chin and pecked John’s forehead, right between his brows.

     “I’m aware your taste in movies sucks, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them all entertaining anyway,” they laughed.

     “Hey! I’ll have you know, my taste in movies is fantastic, and your information is outdated! Trust me, movie date will be perfect. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll-”

     “Nicolas Cage is banned.”

     “...Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be,” John said, smirking when Davepeta laughed again, their voice like bells. “Well how about THIS,” he said, hands jutting out to attack their sides with tickling fingers, laughing when they started to kick and giggle at him, wings flapping a few times behind their body against the grass.

     “Uncle! Uncle!! Ahaha!”

     John kissed their nose as he stopped tickling them, and settled back on his side.

     “Okay, okay. ...But Nic stays. Trust me, he’s worth it. I’ve come to appreciate his work all over again over the years.”

     “Whatever you say, John,” Davepeta chuckled, satisfied with how the day had gone. “Whatever you say.”

[luminescentlyricist]

♌ Tea Cups And Tenderness ♐

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

AC: :33 < *ac smiles at ct, swishing her tail and waving in a welcoming meownner*

CT: D --> Hello, Nepeta.

AC: :33 < *ac pounces on ct, glad that her meowrail is here to k33p her company*

CT: D --> I am glad you are here too, you make for e%cellent company.

AC: :33 < *ac asks ct how his day is going, hoping for a pawsitive answer*

CT: D --> I must confess that I am rather lonely.

AC: :33 < *furrowning, ac asks why, dropping off his back and nuzzling his cheek comfortingly*

CT: D --> Because you are not here in person.

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

~~~~

Equius knew that his love for the catlike troll was... morally wrong, just as his feelings for Aradia had been. To a lesser degree, yes, but to have feelings for a lowerblood of any level felt distinctly unbecoming, as did having feelings for a higherblood. He felt as if he had his place in the world, and he was determined to keep it as it was. He had feelings for no 'b100b100d', however, and thus was conflicted.

Nepeta stared longingly at her shipping wall for periods of time, often ones that were considered troubling. She was almost obsessive, the way she cared about the more-often-than-not imaginary relationships she had constructed and displayed, displayed as her pride and joy. She cared for Equius so, so much. But she couldn't shake the careful drawing that she hid from view, the one 'ship' that she wished for more than anything. She knew that the other didn't reciprocate feelings for her, but she persisted in her daydreams nonetheless.

~~~~

The two were moirails, and they couldn't have been better for each other.

Equius was strong, strong and steady. He was a protector, and though he could come off as too strong, almost... disgusting in his ways, he loved her and wished her the best.

Nepeta was soft. She was loving, understanding and the gentlest of souls. She helped him as much as she could, and although many cringed at her fascinations, she loved him and wished him the best.

They were capable of becoming more, so much more, but the roles they held in each other's hearts and eyes was enough. It made them happy. The joy that they felt could far surpass any doubts they might have had, shatter any negativity as long as they kept close. When they were separated, they had Trollian, but it would never be enough to satisfy their need to... be with each other, to have physical closeness.

The tea had been brewed in a hopeful, happy manner, as Nepeta had thought everything was actually going to be fine, despite the encroaching gloom. Equius' comforting, warming darkness was the only one she had expected. The catlike troll was ever the optimist, however, and that would serve to help her through the next events.

"Oh no! The Purrl Grey has been on for too long! It'll taste pawful!"

She hissed, tail lashing about - as opposed to its normal gentle sway - and running to check the lilac pot with a worried expression. She couldn't believe it had been steeping so long! She was so careless. Her tail slid motionlessly across the floor, shifting only when she herself moved. She felt downcast within moments, as she had tried so hard to make everything so, so perfect for Equius in her land.

She checked for a supply of sugar in the small dwelling she had made there, as she liked her Cameowmile nice and sweet, before giggling to herself. She was going nuts, being alone, surely. She spun around, gazing at the hills and mounds of Little Cubes, her eyes bright and filled with a childlike wonder. Even though it felt like she had seen it all a million times, it never failed to amaze her time and time again.

"Silly Nepeta! Your land is made of sugar!"

Nepeta murmured to herself, walking out of her dwelling and looking around. She soon collected a basketful of sugar cubes, and bent down to the green tea river running like veins through her land. Sticking her tongue out, she looked around just in case Equius had been able to come to her land so soon. She didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of him. Happily, as she did most things, she bent over and quickly lapped at the green tea.

It was bitter, and she stuck her tongue out in disgust. She decided that she'd have to topple a whole hill worth of sugar into it later; it would give her something to do while Equius wasn't there, and it would be a lot of fun. Sweetness, as well as being sweet, really improved everything, or so she thought. She stood from the banks of the tea river, humming to herself as she licked the sticky residue of the sugar off her hands.

Skipping, she made her way back to the dwelling, humming softly. Equius would arrive at any minute, and she wanted to be there when he arrived. She was looking forward to seeing him, very much so, but also wanted to make sure that his often untameable strength didn't cause him to break the door as well. She'd worked on the small hut for a while, if only to keep her fidgety 'paws' at bay.

The troll soon arrived, beads of sweat trickling down his face relentlessly. She walked and got him a fresh white towel - those she had stocked up on for this reason alone - from the cupboard. He walked into the door of the hut, taking the towel from her. Equius almost seemed too big for the small dwelling, but Nepeta wanted it no other way. His size bought her comfort. He wiped his face gratefully, a broken-toothed smile coming to his lips.

"Thank you, Nepeta. It is good to see you."

Equius stood in the hut, looking around at the home Nepeta had made for herself. He was proud of her for doing such a thing, even though his head grazed the roof when it sloped down on occasion. Judging by her shorter-than-average size, and the fact that sugar grains crunched under their feet at every step, she had used the stackable cubes as leverage. She would have spent far more time than was necessary on the dwelling.

It made his hardened heart full with warmth and his gentle smile stay, unwavering, to know how much effort his Moirail had gone to, even if it wasn't specifically for him. She obviously had a real passion for what she was doing, and her fingers were still sticking together due to the baking she had done. She had set everything up just so, but she had been rather busy. She had only just had time to clean up a little before he came.

"Just a meowment, please, Equihiss."

Nepeta chirped, scampering off and to the little sink. She hummed some more as she washed her hands. Her short fingers saw the light for the first time in a while, as her bright blue paw-gloves nearly always obscured them from view. She had liked baking, as well as licking the bowls when she was finished, but didn't particularly enjoy washing up properly. She usually took her time with it, nonetheless, but she hurried because she wanted to get back to her blue-blooded friend.

She slipped her gloves back on, wiggling her fingers in relief. Although her skin was grey, and was already rather light in colour, her hands were noticeably more pale than the rest of her skin because of her habit of wearing them. She had dyed the tail and gloves when her moirallegiance with Equius started, wanting the blue to remind her that he was always with her, even when they were not together in person.

Soon, the troll bought the things she had baked to the small table, setting the plate of steaming hot muffins down and setting out a couple of placemats so that the teapots wouldn't scorch the table. She had left the Cameowmile to sit and cool down a little while the Purrl Grey steeped further, as Equius had told her that he liked his tea 'E%TREMELY STRONG'. She didn't want to burn her mouth, however.

It was evident that she had used too much sugar in the muffins, presumably to try and deplete the supply that was naturally given to her by the Land Of Little Cubes And Tea. She hadn't known that the supply was nearly infinite, so as to prevent sugar-based land degradation from Nepeta using it all up. She liked everything she had nearly as sweet as she was, which was copiously, overly sweet. That said, Nepeta wasn't a stuck-up, and her positivity always seemed to be genuine.

She padded over to the long-brewed tea, bringing it over to the table and setting it down after pouring a cup for Equius. She had reinforced the cup somehow so that he wouldn't crush it, and the tea was piping hot. She had even added some of Arthour's milk to it, as Equius had bought it over with him. He said it kept his bones strong, and she didn't doubt it, but she thought to herself that he didn't need any more calcium. He was already too strong for his own good, and for others'.

Nepeta cherished him and appreciated him far more than most, despite his almost debilitating strength and his sweating problems. There were a lot of negatives to Equius, but most tended to forget about him completely. She had reason to believe that he was seen in a negative light by most of the other trolls that bothered to acknowledge his existence, and considered that extremely unfair. Even Vriska seemed to dislike him, and Aradia hold the blue blood in her robotic veins against him, even though he had done them a courtesy and replaced their body or body parts.

They talked over tea and muffins, and joy radiated from the two trolls. They had never shown such happiness unless they were together, and even then Equius had been... apprehensive about his feelings for Nepeta. In this small hut in an expanse of sugar, they had found cause to believe that they truly were moirails, and that they were perfect for each other. The guardian and the helper, the stoic and the empathetic.

Equius soon left, his hands clutching a basketful of muffins, the likes of which Nepeta absolutely insisted he take. She claimed that she couldn't eat them all herself, but he knew that it was a lie, and simply an excuse to share what she had made for him. It was lighthearted, and she watched him go with a small and satisfied smile lighting up her cheeks. Nepeta knew that she had made him happy, and that, in turn, made her the most gleeful troll in the whole of Alternia.

But that had been long ago.

Almost too long.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So, they sat together in the darkened lab, stoves and long-cold teapots providing a barrier to what lay beyond. The two had sought shelter from him as soon as they could, sought one another because they knew it would be even colder without that comfort. The two would have liked to meet like this in a more positive setting, but that was not to be. The time of tea and piping-hot muffins in a land of sugar was long gone. It was likely that they'd never experience such a thing ever again as long as they were trapped.

The clown was lurking in the cloaking dark, and that was terrifying to them both, but Equius didn't move a muscle as Nepeta shivered against him. His role in the moiraillegiance was to guard her to his dying breath, and to have an unwavering resolution and stoicism in the face of danger. He would fulfil that role to the best of his ability. However strong he was, when a distant smashing of a bottle was heard, Equius' fingers tightened around the wood of the bow that he held, and a crack rang out.

"Do not worry, Nepeta."

He murmured, feeling the troll flinch against his body from where she was curled, obviously scared out of her mind. Aside from this, he hadn't felt her move in a while. He thought it had been a long time, though he had no way of knowing. Equius had thought her dead, for she had become literally petrified with fright for some time earlier. Although he hated it, it was a relief to feel her shivering form. It was movement, at least.

He had left her sore in the back from his hugs many a time, and did not want to risk such a thing happening ever again, especially due to his moirail's emotional fragility. She already suffered so much, particularly in their current situation. A broken back would likely kill Nepeta, as she had not - and would not - gain the abilities and immortality that came with the highly coveted ascension to God Tier.

"I am here, and I will not let anything happen to you for as long as I live."

Equius spoke, though he expected no reply. He knew that she was feeling far too weak to even gain the energy to do so. All he had to go on, all the signs that she lived, were her wheezing breaths, and the gentle shudder of her every limb. He himself was fighting the urge to close his eyes, to slip into the comfort of fading away. The void that he held called to him louder and louder until it was a deafening roar in his ears, though he had no voices in his head as Sollux had.

The goldblood had never interacted with him, and he found that better than if he had. Equius was a troll who had followed the hemospectrum closely for all of his sweeps of life, and had thus forbidden himself from interacting with Sollux and his lowblooded... breed. Power didn't matter to him, though he was so fixated on his own, and paid no mind to the boy's psionic prowess, nor his hacking skills.  He wasn't self-absorbed, and he cared for those who cared for him, or that he felt he could trust.

One of the few people he felt he could trust was slowly, agonisingly dying against his body. Her breathing was so shallow that it became barely noticeable, and her chest barely moved. He provided her with all the warmth that he could, but had no idea if his efforts would be enough to save her. It was safer, he decided, for him to let her... he couldn't. He couldn't even think of the word. His Nepeta, dying. It was... preposterous. But it was better for her to fade in his arms than to die fighting that horrid, maniacal clown.

Equius brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his hands finally beginning to tremble. He didn't want her to die, even more than he feared death himself. He'd been lonely for so, so long. He'd finally pushed all that away and embraced his relationship with her, and he wanted to be safe and happy. With her. His stubbornness was a big downside when it came to socialising, but he refused to let her go even now, and it was sad that they were closest when she was so far away. He'd have his revenge, sure, but wanted to stay by her side until her very last breath.

She breathed it all too soon, and for the first time in his life, he felt a tear slip down his cheek.

[homespork-review]

HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 2

BRIGHT: Nepeta wants to know what’s going on. Aradia finally stops dodging the question and tells Nepeta she’s dead, but doesn’t elaborate on how it happened. She asks Nepeta to keep it a secret, which Nepeta agrees to. Aradia’s also picked up some froglike traits from being merged with the sprite -- namely a tendency to ribbit.

In retrospect, it’s kind of funny that an active player can merge with a sprite. The role of a sprite seems to involve having detailed knowledge of how the Game works and what the player should do next, but only dispensing vague advice to the player. Prototyping a player would give them full access to that knowledge with no sprite vagueness to get in the way. The Game doesn’t seem too concerned about that, though.

CHEL: Now it’s time to get to know AG better. A doodle of her declaring her to be a HUGE BITCH fades into her standing in her room. Rather gothic, and also filthy-looking; it’s dark, with a red sky outside, and cobwebs and broken Magic 8 Balls lie around everywhere. There’s a FLARP poster and numerous pages of notes on the wall.

Your name is VRISKA SERKET.

You are a master of EXTREME ROLE PLAYING. You can't get enough of it, or really any game of high stakes and chance. You have persisted with the habit even in spite of your ACCIDENT. But then again, you don't have much choice.

Your lusus is VERY HUNGRY, ALL THE TIME. She can only be appeased by the FLESH OF YOUNG TROLLS. You cloud campaigns for teams of Flarpers, utilizing your abilities for ORCHESTRATING THE DEMISE OF THE IMPRESSSSSSSSIONA8LE. Your victories supply you with treasure, experience points, and SPIDER FOOD.

You are something of an APOCALYPSE BUFF, which is something you can be on Alternia. You are fascinated by end of the world scenarios, and enjoy constructing DOOMSDAY DEVICES for the hell of it. You are drawn to means of DARK PROGNOSTICATION and the advantages they offer, particularly in gaming scenarios. Your abilities in this department were hobbled with the loss of your VISION EIGHTFOLD, and you have since sought alternatives through various BLACK ORACLES. You consult with these ominous globes, but routinely destroy them in frustration over the PUZZLING GUARANTEED INACCURACY of their predictions. Breaking them has developed into a habit BORDERING ON FETISHISTIC, and with each you destroy, you add to an insurmountable stockpile of TERRIBLE LUCK. You have to stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.

FAILURE ARTIST: FINALLY we get a name for her and we don’t have to keep saying AG. I imagine the non-Homestucks are feeling like I did when I played Danganronpa 2 finally and saw the “fingers-in-his-ass” guy.

CHEL: She examines a drawing on the wall, of her FLARP character MARQUISE SPINNERET MINDFANG, who is just Vriska in a different coat and seaboots, with a hook instead of her robot hand. She is the scourge of land dwellers and sea dwellers alike, and worst nightmare to silly BOY-SKYLARKS everywhere. She has accumulated more treasure and gained more levels than any member of the PETTICOAT SEAGRIFT class ever. She gained all the levels. All of them.

En route to her computer, Vriska steps on a D4, and complains about how she’s had terrible luck since her mysterious accident. I’d just like it noted that this is a small but noticeable occurrence of Vriska’s tendency to blame others for her problems; if she cleaned her room some time, that wouldn’t happen. Still, she doesn’t worry about it too long, as she’s busy.

So many irons in the fire. Such a tangled web. It is a web full of flaming irons and mixed metaphors.

BRIGHT: Vriska equips her weapon of choice, a set of enchanted D8 dice called the FLUORITE OCTET.

...okay, I’m getting used to characters having semi-absurd weapons, but seriously, what? Let’s review everyone else’s chosen weapons: Hammer, knitting needles, sword, gun, sickles, lance, clawed gloves, walking cane. Sollux had some throwing stars but didn’t assign them to his specibus owing to his telekinesis being enough; we haven’t seen Aradia’s strifekind yet, but she also has telekinetic abilities, and hers are apparently enhanced by her being dead. So that’s a lot of genuine weapons, and some things which aren’t weapons but can readily be used that way in a pinch...and then Vriska has a set of enchanted dice.

It’s a good fit both for Homestuck’s absurdity and for Vriska’s obsession with luck. But it does stand out rather.

Anyway, rolling the dice will execute a wide range of highly unpredictable attacks. Very high rolls can be devastating to even the most powerful opponents. Apparently these work everywhere, not just in FLARP games. Also, while we see ghosts, psychic powers, and superpowered coding, I think this is the only reference to plain magic we have on Alternia.

Vriska steps away from the computer to avoid talking to GA, who she refers to as an unwelcome solicitor, but returns to it when someone else starts messaging her. Vriska calls him this guy; he has no icon -- and, oddly, no username -- and types in white, which means the reader (and Vriska) ends up highlighting the conversation a lot. 

Hello.

AG: Oh my god, why are you talking to me????????

This is the last time we'll ever talk.

AG: Still sticking with the white text I see. So smooth and stylish!

AG: I forgot how much I loved highlighting it to read all the 8oring things you have to say.

AG: It's like a fun game for super extra handicapped retarded people. Like opening a present! Find out what o8noxious thing the mystery tool typed.

AG: What is it!

A parting courtesy, I suppose.

All the ways I've exploited you were meant to bring about the events that will take place this evening.

Knowing this will provide context for the events in your near future, and will affect how you behave in response.

These events will be just as important as those preceding it.

I've gone to great lengths, you see. 

Well, this guy sounds ominous.

Also, using ‘handicapped’ and ‘retarded’ as insults is entirely in character for Vriska, who has no time for people who can’t operate on her level. Currently Vriska’s also being shown as an unlikeable character. We’ll see how that develops.

CHEL: Still, a lot of people really don’t like those words being used casually, and the fact that we need to show you how things develop should imply that they won’t develop in a way you’ll like. So…

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 39

White Text Guy, as the characters refer to him for a while to come yet, continues gloating about how successfully he’s exploited Vriska, who tells him she’ll log off and orders him not to use that nasty trick where you log me 8ack on out of petty douchey spite! WTG says he’ll be brief, though he’s not particularly brief in fact, tells her he no longer hold[s] her accountable for any wrongdoing, and says that if she accepts this, she may get her luck back. Vriska doesn’t believe him and continues to rant, and he points out that her unpleasant, simplistic temperament is what made her so easy to mess with.

If you turn a swarm of wasps on a crowd, the outcome is certain.

He leaves with these even more ominous words:

Though the magnitude of the ensuing destruction resulting directly from your actions will be neither possible or necessary for you to fathom, there nevertheless ought to be a silver lining.

The only question is whether you will live long enough to see it.

Vriska, enraged, lifts a Magic 8 Ball with the intention to smash it, but decides she can’t be bothered, and answers GA, hoping some camaraderie will cheer her up, even if it’s from a meddler. However, GA’s first question is “Is Your Lusus Dead Yet”. Not particularly cheering, is it?

Vriska, for the first time, expresses concern and sympathy for another person when GA says her own lusus is dead, though it may be undermined slightly by her own personal disappointment in never having got to meet said lusus. GA doesn’t seem very concerned, and says “Maybe You Still Can”. According to her, though, all their lusii are dying, as a “Preemptive Consequence” (if that’s a meaningful concept) of the upcoming Game. Karkat blames himself for activating the cursed code, but GA thinks it was inevitable. However, Karkat’s idea of a curse Is Inseparable From His Perception Of Events As Intrinsically Negative And As Tailored To His Personal Dissatisfaction, and so is Vriska’s poor luck. GA points out that if Vriska cleaned her floor she wouldn’t step on so many things. THANK YOU, GA, you made my point for me! Vriska is angry at GA “meddling” so, and demands to know why she does.

GA: Because Youre Dangerous

[...]

GA: Its Ok To Be Dangerous

GA: Lots Of People Are

GA: And Dangerous People Can Be Really Important

GA: Maybe Even The Most Important Sometimes

GA: But It Just Means Theres Got To Be Someone Around To Keep An Eye On Them

As Vriska gets angrier, it’s noted that she puts 8s in her typing in places where they don’t work as Bs or as “eight” sounds, and they become more numerous.

AG: Or you know, if you're so h8gh 8nd might8 an8 th8nk you're so gr8at, m8y88 you c8uld oh I d8n't kn8w........

AG: TRY AND ST8P ME FROM DO8NG B8D THINGS????????

GA: That Wouldnt Work

GA: If I Tried To Stop You You Would Regard Me As An Enemy

GA: Instead Of Merely As A Nuisance

BRIGHT: GA’s strategy appears to be trying to talk Vriska into being a better person, either by persuading her that it’s the right thing to do or by being so annoying that Vriska does the right thing to avoid being meddled with. She’s making an effort, I’ll give her that. And given that she doesn’t live anywhere near Vriska, there isn’t all that much she can do to rein her in.

CHEL: Vriska signs off, ranting about her “Lousy st8pid godd8mn supportive friend!” and heads down the enormous staircase to check on her lusus.

You wonder if any other kid on the planet has such a high maintenance lusus? You DOUBT it.

As a matter of fact, one does and Vriska knows that, but we’ll see them later. Not a continuity error, it’s just Vriska self-pitying.

From a window, we see a doomsday device hanging over a chasm by chains attached to the surrounding cliffs. Vriska built it for an especially powerful and influential member of the nautical aristocracy, with help from an as-yet-unnamed nearby friend. Vriska reaches the bottom of the stairwell, and we meet her lusus, which is…

… a spider about the size of a cathedral. For the sake of our arachnophobic readers, we’ll refrain from posting a picture. Suffice it to say she’s as terrifying as she sounds. Pan out to show the entire valley is filled with cobwebs, and Vriska’s hive is matched by a similar one on the other side of the valley.

Before we move on, I’d just like to chat a little about the astrological symbolisms used here. Vriska’s the Scorpio troll, and it puzzles a lot of people that she’s spider-themed instead of scorpion-themed. Both arachnids, but not the same thing. However, Scorpio does have multiple symbols, depending on the source of the interpretation of the constellation, including the spider and the phoenix. Observe! (I enjoy astrology. Sue me.) Also, a scorpion would be a lot harder to get the story symbolism out of; Vriska is at least attempting to be a master manipulator pulling on strings, i.e. webs. The astrological symbolism and alleged personality traits aren’t used for all of the trolls in general, either. The troll with the sign of Aquarius the Water-Bearer is seadwelling nobility and probably wouldn’t be happy to be represented astrologically by a servant, and Gamzee is basically the opposite of the ambitious and hardworking traits of the allegedly typical Capricorn. Basically the signs are mostly aesthetic and if Huss can work in some connected symbolism that’s a bonus. I don’t consider this a negative thing in particular, though it might annoy some astrology buffs.

Actually, I don’t know how intentional this was, but one fan actually analysed how the social expectations on Alternia are in fact the exact opposite of what would actually suit their astrological sign. It didn’t get finished but there’s some interesting information - read the posts in question here, beware spoilers!

BRIGHT: One amusing consequence of this can be turned into a game: Go to Tumblr, find an astrology post, and see how long it takes to figure out if it’s a Homestuck riff. Some of them even just say ‘Vriska’ for Scorpio.

It’s probably just because I mostly follow fandom-related blogs, but I’ve yet to see a Tumblr astrology post that wasn’t a more-or-less-subtle Homestuck joke.

CHEL: And the ones which aren’t make for great fanfic prompts!

BRIGHT: Vriska’s lusus is fine, as it happens. Vriska pretends to be happy about this, but she’s rather less convincing than Dave is about his own guardianship issues. 

FAILURE ARTIST: And we turn from Vriska to look in her neighbor and it’s….that creepy guy! Hurray!

Your name is EQUIUS ZAHHAK.

You love being STRONG.

You are so strong, you would surely be the class of the elite legion of RUFFIANNIHILATORS. And while such a calling would be quite honorable, you would prefer to join the ranks of the ARCHERADICATORS, perhaps the most noble echelon the imperial forces have to offer. Unfortunately, you SUCK AT ARCHERY. You have not successfully fired a SINGLE ARROW. Every time you try, you BREAK THE BOW. You are simply too strong. You have broken so many bows, it has developed into a habit BORDERING ON FETISHISTIC. You have to stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.

You have a great appreciation for THE FINE ARTS. You use your aristocratic connections to acquire PRICELESS MASTERPIECES, painted in the oldest and most respected Alternian tradition of NUDE MUSCLEBEAST PORTRAITS. These striking depictions of the EXQUISITE FAUNA native to Alternia remind you of the PUREST PHYSICAL IDEAL that must be sought by anyone who professes a LOVE OF STRENGTH. When those of lesser bloodlines turn up their uncultured noses at such stunning material, it MAKES YOU FURIOUS.

Practically everything MAKES YOU FURIOUS. You have so much rage, it can only be expressed through STAGGERING QUANTITIES OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. You build strong and sturdy robots, set them to kill mode, and BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM in caged brawls. Sometimes you LOSE TEETH. But they usually grow back.

FAILURE ARTIST: Equius Zahhak’s first name is obviously a take on the Latin word for horses, but his last name is from a Persian demon who is also known as “he who has 10,000 horses”. 

So yes, that furry porn on his walls is high art to trolls. Though the prequel Hiveswap Friendsim, which has artist characters, doesn’t have MUSCLEBEAST PORTRAITS. Maybe Equius is actually weird.

CHEL: Actually, the Friendsim does have musclebeast art; if you squint at the beginning of Nikhee’s route, you can see depictions of white muscular chests flanking the arena, which don’t look like troll chests. Hiveswap proper is rated PG, so we’ll be spared it there, too.

FAILURE ARTIST: Equius is more even-tempered than his introduction suggests. He’s not completely violence-free (as we will see)  but he’s not in a constant ‘roid-rage. Heck, from what we’ve seen before of him he just gets peeved and snotty. 

Equius calls for his lusus Aurthour, who I guess could be called another self-insert. Aurthour is a centaur-type creature with cow udders and a mustache and looks like something out of Hussie’s early comics. Aurthour carries a glass of lusus milk on a platter, presumably from its own udders. Ummm. 

You cannot hope to beat Aurthour in a butler-off. He is simply the best there is.

Sweet, I guess.

CHEL: I wonder how Aurthour contorts around to reach his udder. Centaurs aren’t really known for flexibility.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out why Aurthour has a shiner. It’s not because of domestic abuse but because when Equius “gently” pats Aurthour, Aurthour bruises. Yet this creature is the only lusus STRONG enough to raise Equius. 

Equius tries to drink the glass, but it shatters in his hand. Which begs the question of why Aurthour doesn’t use an alternative to glass. Well, I guess Equius going straight to the source would be too disturbing even for Hussie. A bigger problem is how Equius can do the fine detail work of building robots when he can’t hold a glass. 

Equius goes into a rage, which just means he stands around in Hero Mode while the lusus milk quickly evaporates. Wait, quickly evaporates? What is it made of?

CHEL: I assumed the heat of his rage boiled it.

FAILURE ARTIST: Equius tries to equiup equip a bow but fails due to his strength. Like the glass smashing, this is a normal occurrence. You’d think he’d give up but apparently breaking bows is like popping bubble wrap to him. Expensive bubble wrap. So he has the useless 1/2bowkind, a bowkind for when he’s ever that lucky, and the fistkind which he actually utilizes. Yes, in Homestuck, you can register your fists as lethal weapons. 

Equius talks with Nepeta and the narration summarizes like thus:

CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no CT: D --> Yes AC: :33 < no

Equius is still worried about his good friend Nepeta, so he decides to relieve his stress by talking with another friend. And here comes a line fans take as meaning trolls don’t have friendship. 

It should be noted that in troll language, the word for friend is exactly the same as the word for enemy.

Though that line contradicts Equius considering Nepeta his friend only a few lines back. This worldbuilding sucks. 

CHEL: Well, he doesn’t treat her the way a human should treat a friend at this point.

FAILURE ARTIST: So Equius trolls this frienemy who turns out to be Gamzee.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CT: D --> Have I ever told you what a reprehensible disgrace you are

TC: hAhA, fUcK yEaH, oNlY eVeRy MoThErFuCkIn DaY bRo!  

Yeah, Equius, pretty much everyone tells Gamzee that every day. 

Equius says he wants get some things off his chest, which giving what we later learn about troll relationships might be adulterous. Gamzee tells him not to let his feelings be bottled up lIkE a FuCkIn AlL sHaKeD uP bOtTlE oF fAyGo and this metaphor makes Gamzee thristy. Equius berates Gamzee for drinking soda, which seems harsh but we later find out soda is booze for trolls. He’s also angry at Gamzee for doing sopor slime. Now, fans think Karkat didn’t like Gamzee doing sopor slime but we never actually see it. It’s just Equius who cares. This leads to an exchange I find interesting.

CT: D --> You will stop

TC: WhOaAaA, i WiLl?

TC: hOw Do YoU kNoW tHaT?

CT: D --> No, you don't understand

CT: D --> It's not a predi%ion, it's an order

CT: D --> I command you to stop

Gamzee is so passive he finds it hard to imagine making decisions that will change his future. Sad. And when Gamzee does get what Equius means:

TC: Oh, AlRiGhT bRoThEr.

TC: yOu MoThErFuCkIn GoT iT.

CT: D --> What

CT: D --> Are you serious

TC: yEaH.

TC: I mEaN, yOu GoT tO sHoW sOmE fAiTh In YoUr FrIeNdS, cAuSe ThEy'Re AlL tHe OnEs WhO'rE bEiNg To LoOk OuT fOr YoU.

TC: sO fUcK iF yOu SaY i'M nOt DoInG tHe ShIt RiGhT, tHeN wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk Do I kNoW!

CT: D --> No

CT: D --> This is una%eptable

CT: D --> Ok, let's start over

CT: D --> I apologize

CT: D --> I was completely out of of line, and I'm sorry

CT: D --> I have no right to talk to you like that, or tell you what you can't do

TC: aWw, No WoRrIeS!

Gamzee was ready to kick sopor slime except Equius backed down. Wondering about the timeline where Equius didn’t back down. 

Still, Equius begs Gamzee to behave like a superior. Gamzee asks what that means and Equius gives a very creepy answer.

CT: D --> 100k, it isn't that difficult

CT: D --> Try to be cognizant of your desires and needs

CT: D --> And attempt to regard those around you as simple vehicles meant to bring about your gratification

At least Equius is a hypocrite...most of the time.

Equius asks what Gamzee is doing and Gamzee relates his adventures in Sgrub. He bonked an imp on the head and scared another with a horn and eventually ended up sharing pie with them. Equius likes the tales of valor but is disappointed with the peaceful end. 

Equius asks Gamzee to roleplay and Gamzee says yes; there’s an uncomfortable sequence where Equius tries to get Gamzee to virtually dom him. Gamzee is terrible at being assertive, but Equius is still whipped into a state of contrition. Basically, Equius is getting off on this. 

CHEL: It should be noted that tricking a child into sexual behaviour is a form of abuse even when it’s done by a child of the same age. Not cool, Eq, and not funny, Hussie.

CALL CPA PLEASE: 11

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 40

SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 4

Though, while that is clearly the reading we’re meant to get from that, I have to say Equius never reads to me like he’s actually enjoying being ordered around. With Gamzee he’s just frustrated that he’s not behaving in a correct manner, and in later exchanges he seems knocked off-balance by the normal social order being upended. I know I’m just projecting, but it reads more like he has some issues with anxiety or OCD and is desperate for someone else to take control and tell him what they want him to do so he doesn’t have to worry. He sweats constantly during these exchanges, which is supposed to imply he’s aroused, but people sweat when they’re worried or afraid too.

FAILURE ARTIST: On a lighter front, Equius says he doesn’t live near the ocean, which considering his neighbor regularly goes on a pirate ship is an odd thing to say.

CHEL: How near is “near”? He might just mean not within walking distance so he can’t casually wander out to the sea like Gamzee does.

FAILURE ARTIST: Equius ends by wondering about the social order that puts someone like Gamzee above him but someone as graceful and poised as a certain mysterious she is of the lowest caste. Gamzee (and the readers) ask who she is and Equius brusquely says D -->I shouldn’t be talking about this D → You’re the enemy before signing off. 

CHEL: If one’s been paying attention, one can guess.

Next, Equius and Vriska are in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Vriska declares her intention to meddle, and they have a brief exchange about sarcasm. It’s horribly inconsistent whether trolls have sarcasm or not, as I’ve pointed out before. Already gave a point for it, though.

Anyway, Vriska asks if Aradia’s present is finished. It is.

CT: D --> But I don't understand why you're intent on gratifying that worthless peasant

AG: 8ecause I promised I would and it's none of your damn 8usiness! Man.

Their plan is to let Aradia usurp Sollux as leader with her cute little ploy (recall her sending him to sleep and letting him swallow mind honey earlier), then both snatch power from her and become joint leaders. Each asks the other if they’re planning something sneaky and each insists they’re not. Equius can sense that Vriska is trying to read his mind, and when she won’t stop, he takes control of her cybernetic arm, which he built, and makes her slap herself in the face.

FAILURE ARTIST: So given that Vriska tried to read Equius’ mind, despite the dangers (both physically and mentally), it is unbelievable she refrained from reading Karkat’s due to delicacy. 

I think Hussie has said in his commentary that Vriska had a crush on Equius. The fandom prefers lesbian Vriska at this point and so has ignored that. YMMV on if there is evidence of a crush in the text but I find the idea amusing. 

CHEL: Equius goes to fetch the present for Aradia which he was supposed to give to Vriska.

You naturally will doublecross your accomplice, just as you assume she has plans to doublecross you. You assume she is assuming the same of you. Business as usual for blue bloods.

How the hell does this society get anything done?

You will deliver it to Aradia yourself to gain her favor, and then doublecross her and take your rightful position as team leader. How ironic that someone of your blood purity must work to win the favor of the lowest sort of peasant. Humiliating. Strangely titillating, even. But in the end, class order will be restored.

He takes the tarp off the present, and it is…

Why, Aradia. It appears the red glass of your eye has caught the pink and green glint of the moons in their perigees. The sweet poetry almost makes a man forget how the grime that once filled your veins made his stomach turn. It is a good omen for illicit lovers. Could you imagine the scandal if anyone found out?? No one must ever know.

But worry not. Your heart will pump no more of that despicable red sludge. You have been given a new heart. You can be taught the ways of the class you were always meant for. No one is beyond redemption.

Be grateful, dear Aradia. For the first time in your meaningless life you have met a man with true compassion.

Jesus fucking Christ. See what I meant when I said his interactions with girls were worse than his posters? No points because it’s supposed to be creepy, and with the teachings of his society it’s not entirely his fault, but wow.

FAILURE ARTIST: Well, his interaction with a girl is creepy. His relationship with Nepeta is more problematic than fans remember but that’s two-sided and not infatuation. As for Vriska, he’s cold and business-like with her. He collaborates with GA but that’s off-screen and was probably also business-like. Meanwhile, he has lustful interactions with most every male character. We’ve seen how he acts with Gamzee and we’ll see more later. Equius’ interactions with guys are another example of Hussie using male attraction to other males as a punchline.

CHEL: But yes, he’s built her a robot body. Unfortunately for everyone involved, while making out with it, he feels judged by one of his battlebots, gets angry, and punches it. It goes flying out the window and robosplodes above the valley, and its remains hit Vriska’s doomsday device, setting it off. It breaks before it can actually destroy the planet, but the chains holding it up snap, sending it swinging into the cliffside, causing another explosion. The cliff collapses, taking part of Equius’ hive with it, sending Aurthour plummeting into the chasm and crushing Vriska’s spider lusus under tons of rubble.

Cutting back to before that, we see Terezi battling imps on her treehouse’s rooftop, when Vriska messages her, declaring that playing the game together means breaking their truce. Terezi says that’s not what the truce was about; it was about STOPP1NG TH3 3NDL3SS CYCL3 OF R3V3NG3 and Vriska not using her powers maliciously anymore. Terezi’s next couple of comments are just calling Vriska a liar so I’ll just take Vriska’s, to further illustrate her behaviour.

AG: Man, you like to give me such a hard time a8out all that. I can't catch a 8reak! AG: Can't you see I'm trying to put all that 8ehind me and make amends with every8ody? AG: No, of course you can't see that. What am I saying! [...] AG: I'll prove it to you. I'm giving Aradia a present that will make her feel all 8etter finally. AG: Then I'll 8e in the clear. Phew! Totally redeemed. You'll see. I mean smell.

Vriska appears under the impression that large flashy gestures are the important part of an apology, not actual sincerity. Terezi points out Aradia doesn’t care about anything anymore and probably won’t care about this.

AG: Man, why can't you cut me some slack for once???????? AG: It's not like I even did anything that 8ad to you. AG: I lost seven eyes 8ut you only lost two! I would say you came out ahead in the 8argain. GC: 1 KNOW GC: 4ND 4CTU4LLY GC: 1 N3V3R R34LLY GOT TH3 CH4NC3 TO TH4NK YOU >:D

Vriska’s disbelief aside, Terezi really is serious here. Not surprising to the reader, her blindness is basically a superpower.

AG: Remem8er Team Scourge? How convenient all that must 8e to have forgotten! You were so nasty. AG: Oh man, if you crossed Terezi Pyrope you were fucked!!!!!!!! GC: Y34H 1F YOU W3R3 4 B4D GUY GC: W3 W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 L1K3 4 V1G1L4NT3 DUO D1SP3NS1NG JUST1C3 GC: 4ND YOU COULD T4K3 TH3 B4D GUYS HOM3 4ND F33D TH3M TO YOUR STUP1D SP1D3R GC: BUT 1NST34D YOU JUST F3D H3R 3V3RYBODY! GC: 4ND L13D 4ND L13D 4ND L13D

Okay, this little exchange needs some more dissection. Terezi is supposed to be the “good cop” of Team Scourge, the by-the-book one on the side of the law. But we saw what Alternian law is like, and later on we’ll see demonstrations that things such as having a birth defect or, according to Hiveswap, owning fiction which so much as mentions the possibility of rebellion, are punishable by death. Not only is this not making Terezi look any better, if she’s as obsessed with the law as we saw, who would she deem not a “bad guy”, and why would Vriska have such a shortage of “bad guys” that she’d need to take anyone else? Hussie appears to have forgotten that the Alternian concept of justice is different from the Earth one.

FAILURE ARTIST: And what we would consider a “bad guy” wouldn’t be the same on Alternia. There’s tons of trolls murdering other trolls on Hiveswap Friendsim without any hint that’s illegal. It’s probably completely lawful for a highblood to kill a lowblood just because the lowblood annoyed them.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 29

BRIGHT: Maybe. I’d say what this shows us, and is intended to show us, is that Terezi’s sense of justice isn’t just based on Alternian law, but on her own moral code. The law made it perfectly acceptable for Vriska to feed lowbloods to her lusus regardless of whether they’d done anything, but Terezi didn’t think it was right, and for her that superseded the law. She’s the ‘good cop’ not because she always follows the book, but because she’s willing to ignore it.

We also know she thought Vriska was on the same page as her. Note that Terezi makes two accusations here — the first is that Vriska killed people who don’t deserve it, and the second is that Vriska lied to Terezi about doing so.

CHEL: That may be what it’s intended to show us, but what we’ve already seen is that she worships the law; she draws and gleefully licks pictures of the head of the troll court, His Honorable Tyranny, and she shows no concern in her roleplay with hypothetically executing people for relatively trivial crimes. That makes this a bit… shaky, IMO.

BRIGHT: True. Terezi may have stopped killing since her FLARP days (or, at least, we get no indication that she’s still doing so), but it doesn’t seem to have shaken her belief in the Alternian legal system. Just her belief in Vriska, who even brings up a similar point.

AG: Well if you want to know what I think, you should start changing your tune. AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer! AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the shit ag8in. AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!! AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is! AG: You'll seeeeeeee!

Vriska’s making this all about her own feelings about Terezi abandoning her, but she’s not wrong.

Vriska hears the doomsday device exploding and the subsequent rockslide, and goes to  find out what it is. Terezi tells her not to get crushed.

The next page jumps back in time again -- this time, quite far back. Terezi’s eyes are normal, and she’s talking to Aradia about Tavros’s recovery. Aradia says he’s probably paralysed for life. Terezi brings up the possibility of getting him robo-prosthetics, but after the Vriska debacle Aradia is firmly against having anything to do with bluebloods.

CHEL: Terezi warns Aradia that revenge attempts will end badly and she wants to handle it. Aradia says Vriska isn’t able to control her, but Terezi says Vriska will find a way to harm her anyway. They lament how they were both distracted by the same person.

AA: wh0 was he anyway GC: PR3TTY SUR3 1T WAS VR1SKAS FR13ND AA: what was he d0ing there AA: watching us GC: WHO KNOWS GC: H3S NOT R34LLY H3R FR13ND THOUGH GC: YOU SHOULD S33 HOW H3 T4LKS 4BOUT H3R B3H1ND H3R B4CK GC: SH3 H4S NO 1D34 HOW B4D H3S PL4Y1NG H3R GC: BUT TH3N 1 DONT TH1NK H3 KNOWS HOW B4D SH3S PL4Y1NG H1M 31TH3R

This sounds like they mean Equius, but we’ll see. Aradia feels she’s letting Vriska win by doing nothing, but Terezi has a plan. She confirms that her friendship with Vriska is over.

Cut to Aradia’s house, and here I need to go into a bit more detail. This is her house:

Aradia’s a maroonblood, the lowest of the low on the hemospectrum, peasantry and cannon fodder and supposedly extremely numerous. Yet her house looks to be about the size of the entire block of flats I live in, and she lives in it alone, with no other buildings at all in sight. In the next page, we see inside her house, which looks exactly the same as all the others; she has piles of roleplaying books and posters and a computer, and nothing looks to be in disrepair.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 30

BRIGHT: Her house also looks a lot like Tavros’s, what with the windmill feature on top and the brown hangings rather than maroon, which threw me off at first.

CHEL: We’ll talk about this more later. For now, let’s stick with the most noticeable thing; Aradia is alive! Her skirt is untattered and her eyes have colour and pupils. Her lusus is alive too, napping beside her. It’s not quite clear what it is exactly; it has a sheep-like head, but its body is long and slim with much bigger hind legs than forelegs. Could be supposed to be dragon-like? I’ve also seen it interpreted as kangaroo-like. I don’t think we ever get a better view of it.

Anyway, Aradia knows Terezi’s advice is sound, but she can’t bear not to do something to Make her pay. She puts her hands up to her temples, and the image fades back and forth with one of wrapped troll corpses in Spidermom’s web…

It's a shame it had to come to this. You don't like summoning the spirits of the dead to settle scores.

But if she had to face her victims again, maybe she'd finally learn to feel remorse.

OOOOOOOOOO

This begs the question, how the fuck can the highbloods oppress people who not only hugely outnumber them but can shoot lasers from their eyes, control animals, and summon the dead at will? Well, there’s actually some explanation for that. The player trolls all appear to have unusual levels of power, for whatever their given powers are; most maroonbloods can’t do this. In Hiveswap a main character is a more typical maroonblood, who can just about bend spoons with his telekinesis and not much else (though we haven’t seen him speak with dead yet, and it’s possible he’s better at that). Not all trolls even have their caste’s powers, as far as I can tell, as we do see a yellow in Hiveswap Friendsim who’s not a psionic and some ceruleans who don’t seem to have mind-control powers as well. Head or eye injuries, which aren’t exactly rare in Alternia, can cause the loss of said powers. Also, the highest blood castes have powers of their own and other things to hold over the lowbloods’ heads. It’ll be a while till we get to that, but I’ll say now it is convincing, we do not have an Oppressed Mages scenario.

Anyway, Aradia does her thing…

As Vriska cowers on her floor, White Text Guy messages her again. Vriska replies angrily, ghosts looming over her shoulders.

Aren't you going to kill her?

AG: Who????????

Your friend.

The one who summoned the spirits.

AG: Will that make them go away?

Does it matter?

She brought them here to torment you. This obviously warrants revenge.

Vriska asks why WTG doesn’t kill Aradia instead, since he helped kill Tavros; he replies “All I did was stand somewhere for a few minutes. I just gave you an opportunity to do something you wanted to do anyway.” So, seems it wasn’t Equius they meant earlier. Vriska protests she never intended to kill her gaming companions, and blames him.

Again, I didn't talk you into anything, nor am I doing so now.

You were, and are, going to do this regardless.

I only ever place myself into positions of tangential involvement with events that will bring about my employer's entry into this universe.

I oversee the events as they take place, and ever so slightly nudge them into motion when necessary.

BRIGHT: Looks like Aradia and Terezi haven’t told her Tavros survived, which is eminently sensible. This conversation also highlights another Vriska trait: That she’s a very active person, but will try to shift responsibility as soon as she doesn’t like the consequences. That could be a result of her upbringing -- Vriska had to actively go and kill people for Spidermom, but she wasn’t responsible for the overall situation. (Although -- how much did she do to ameliorate it? By the time SGRUB starts, Spidermom’s far too big to fit into Vriska’s home. Vriska might have been able to get away with not feeding her at that point; there’s not much Spidermom can do if she can’t get to her.)

CHEL: The later addition to the canon, Pesterquest, claims that the lusii can psychically nag their charges and she could bother Vriska that way, but that directly contradicts Act 5, in which the trolls want to prototype their lusii so that they’ll be able to communicate properly with them for the first time, and also couldn’t Vriska just move further away?

BRIGHT: Inertia is very much a thing, and people do often just settle into a rut of ‘this is the way things are’ even when something could be changed, so it’s not improbable that it wouldn’t occur to Vriska to move — come to that, I don’t believe it occurs to anyone else either — but the fact that it doesn’t occur to her does say something about her character. 

CHEL: Also, why didn’t Vriska feed the spider on animals? The possibility is never so much as considered by her or anyone else, though it seems the most obvious thing to do. Sure, the spider might be picky, but as we said, it can’t leave the valley due to its size, or it’d be hunting for itself. If it’s left with the choice to eat cows or die, it’d presumably pick the former, especially since the lusii aren’t supposed to be sapient and thus wouldn’t have the capacity for spite. For assuming that Vriska did what she had to when such a screamingly obvious better option is never addressed, here we go with a new count, which will rise whenever Vriska’s horrible actions are excused.

ALL THE LUCK: 1

 Back to the scene, Scratch claims omniscience, which Vriska mocks.

AG: Sure you know a lot, 8ut I know for a FACT there's stuff you don't know.

That's true.

But the gaps in my knowledge exist by design.

They are the pillars of shadow on which my comprehensive vision is built.

Necessary pockets of void meant to effectuate outcomes I've foreseen and which will require my influence.

Each dark pocket, in time, will be filled.

[...]

I don't lie.

Deception is only necessary for those like you to achieve their objectives.

I play with my cards face up.

Isn't it funny how during our various matches, I can tell you what my moves will be in advance, and still win?

Vriska, angered by this, does in fact plan to kill Aradia; Not much point in living with all these moaning spooks just to spite some guy you don't give a shit about. She can’t control Aradia because Aradia’s own powers get in the way, but there are other people she can use.

How about this guy? Unfortunately, you can only control him about half the time.

Then again, that should be all the time you need.

Cut back to Aradia’s place, and she receives a message from Vriska, telling her her boyfriend is outside. 

BRIGHT: Vriska also lightheartedly tells Aradia she’s sorry, and that she’ll make it up to ‘him’ someday. Presumably ‘he’ is meant to be Tavros, except that Vriska seemed to think Tavros was dead in literally the last conversation she had. This is probably just a slip-up on Hussie’s part, but it’s possible to read this as Vriska referring to a different ‘he’ entirely, considering what’s about to happen.

CHEL: Aradia looks, and sees a figure hovering telekinetically over the fields....

Note what’s in his hand. You do not under any circumstances eat the mind honey… His eyes start flashing and Aradia looks afraid, but we suddenly cut to a view of Alternia, and then to a closeup of its green moon. The prompt instructs us to Be the white text guy, and we meet him in a very familiar-looking green mansion.

You try to be the white text guy, but fail to be the white text guy. No one can be the white text guy except for the white text guy.

The white text guy is known as Doc Scratch.

He is an officer of an indestructible demon known as Lord English. His job is to pave the way for the arrival of his master, who will be summoned upon the termination of the universe. He has worked at this task for many centuries, and will continue to do so until THE GREAT UNDOING.

Scratch is Alternia's FIRST GUARDIAN. Every planet destined for intelligent life has such an entity meant to protect it, and facilitate the planet's ultimate purpose. A first guardian is typically almost as old as the planet itself, and each has a unique, circuitous origin through the knots of paradox space. They can be born into a great diversity of forms, though they all share a common, especially potent genetic sequence. 

Remember Rose’s MEOW book, and how DD used it to create Becquerel? Yep.

The code grants them near omnipotence, and when merged with a host of great intelligence, near omniscience as well.

BRIGHT: Only near-omniscence, however. Scratch is surprised to find Terezi contacting him, but he’s able to work out that she got Sollux to help pretty fast:

Occasionally I discover there are things I have not always known.

It gives me the opportunity to make deductions, which are practically always flawless.

It's gratifying.

He also suggests she call him ‘Mr. Vanilla Milkshake’, and then hints that Aradia might not be straightforwardly dead by stating that Sollux and Terezi believe she is dead, and will soon believe she is not, both of which are true statements about their beliefs rather than reality.

Props to Hussie on this: I’m pretty sure every Homestuck fan wants to punch Scratch in the face. He’s just so obnoxious. 

Terezi, however, refuses to let Scratch keep derailing her for long. She wants Scratch to get involved in their feud again, and she has a good reason for him: She knows how Vriska’s been able to come so close to beating Scratch in their games lately. Before she can tell him, though, she needs to talk to Vriska again.

She starts by asking how Vriska feels about killing Aradia, after she promised not to. Vriska responds with dramatic insincerity about how she feels awful, and then says Terezi should be happy that Team Charge is out of the picture. 

AG: Uuuuuuuugh, what do you want from me????????

GC: 1M NOT SUR3

GC: 1 GU3SS 1M LOOK1NG FOR SOM3 R34SON TO CH4NG3 MY M1ND

GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T YOU C4N S4Y TH4TLL DO 1T

GC: 1 SORT4 HOP3 TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG THOUGH

In the end, there isn’t. Terezi tells Vriska she’ll be dead in a couple of minutes, and to ‘CONSULT W1TH YOUR L1TTL3 4DV4NT4G3’ if she doesn’t believe it, then leaves the conversation.

Vriska’s little advantage turns out to be a MAGIC CUE BALL, which is similar to a magic 8 ball except that it’s predictions are specific and accurate, and it lacks a portal through which the user can read said predictions. Fortunately that’s not an obstacle for Vriska: Her VISION EIGHTFOLD allows her to see through the opaque casing.

CHEL: Vision Eightfold is the vision from the one of Vriska’s eyes which has seven pupils, which she covered with an eyepatch with seven rubies on it when she was FLARPing. Also remember that Jade had a Magic Cue Ball but couldn’t read it? Yeah, it’s another one.

BRIGHT: One other thing: According to rumour, it used to belong to the man on the moon.

As Vriska asks the cueball whether she should be worried about Terezi’s threat (answer: YES), Terezi lets Scratch know where his missing property has gone. Vriska asks the cueball how it’s going to happen…

I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE.

Boom.

This section is one of my favourite Terezi moments. It really shows off Terezi’s ability to outthink and manoeuvre people. She’s never spoken to Scratch before, but she still plays him against Vriska easily.

CHEL: This is why Vriska has a plain eyepatch and a robot arm in her future appearances, but she’s otherwise fine. Bluebloods are tough, apparently.

BRIGHT: Back in the future, Spidermom has survived the rubble falling on her, but just barely. Vriska puts her out of her misery with her magic dice, which summon up a massive guillotine and decapitate the lusus, drenching Vriska in spider blood.

GORE GALORE: 11

The decapitation sets off another landslide, sending Equius’s house straight down on Vriska’s head, but before it can land, a portal opens underneath it and transports it into the Medium.

Vriska promptly jumps on Trollian to freak out about this, because her plan depended on her getting Aradia’s surprise present from Equius to pass along and then Aradia and Vriska entering the Medium together, and never mind that a house was about to fall on her -- in fact, when Aradia points out that Vriska was about to die, Vriska accuses her of planning this. Aradia placidly agrees.

CHEL: This is part of my evidence for thinking Vriska might not be neurotypical. Not the priorities most people would have. Also, meanwhile, note that the lusii have the same blood colour as their charges, while the non-lusus animals Nepeta killed were black and had red blood. I’m not sure whether that’s a species trait, or a side effect of the weird bond between them (doesn’t make a lot of biological sense, but then this is basically fantasy with a sci-fi coat of paint).

Vriska is enraged by things not going the way she planned; her grand gesture of apology, the robot body, will now be handed over by Equius and not her, ruining her chance to be friends again with Aradia. Again, she doesn’t seem to understand how apologies work.

AA: were we ever really friends

AG: Yeah!!!!!!!!

AG: I don't know. I felt like we were even if you didn't think so.

AG: I guess I'm not very good at acting like a friend. Or saying stuff like, hey friend! You're my friend! It doesn't really occur to me.

For some strange reason related to her prototyping with the frog statue, Aradia types out “ribbit” into the chatbox, and informs Vriska she’s not on the Blue team as she expected, enraging Vriska further. Vriska accuses her of taking revenge, which Aradia denies, saying Vriska was always going to be on the Red team, and that she doesn’t care about her death.

AG: You're so infuri8ing! Why c8n't you just h8 me? It would 8e a lot easier th8t way.

AG: Or at least feel 8othered or annoyed or S8METHING! God!!!!!!!!

AG: May8e I sh8uld just rip my he8rt out of my chest and pound it to a 8loody pulp here on my desk with my sup8r strong ro8ot arm.

AG: Pound pound pound pound pound pound pound pound!

AG: Look at that, more nasty 8lue 8lood all over me. Why not! Might as well op8n the floodg8s and p8nt my whole hive with this oh so envia8le cerulean SWILL.

AG: 8ecause clearly it's up to me to feel em8tions for the 8oth of us, you misera8le soulless witch!

AA: 0_0

AG: I h88888888 you!

AG: H8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 haaaaaaaate!

AG: I only regret killing you cause it m8de you so 8ORING!!!!!!!!

AA: s0rry

Aradia assures her that the teams are meaningless, but being on the Red team will put Vriska in the position they need her in. Vriska’s confused and angry, and leaves the chat.

In Equius’ LAND OF CAVES AND SILENCE, he trolls Aradia again, telling her he will be the sole leader, which she doesn’t care about. He’s surprised she isn’t objecting, and says he needs a towel.

CT: D --> Never mind

CT: D --> I'm trying to stay professional about this

AA: ab0ut what

AA: what are y0u talking ab0ut

CT: D --> Forget it

CT: D --> It's just pleasant to consort with one of lesser breeding who clearly understands her place

He’s been established to suffer from hyperhydrosis, but he’s clearly also supposed to be getting off on this, which, since he’s thirteen, is icky to read.

CALL CPA PLEASE: 12

It only gets worse.

CT: D --> I 100k forward to seeing how well you serve me, server player

AA: uh

AA: thats n0t quite the meaning 0f the w0rd server

CT: D --> What do you mean

AA: as y0ur server i manipulate y0ur envir0nment t0 help y0u advance

CT: D --> I don't understand

CT: D --> Are you

CT: D --> Are you saying

CT: D --> That

CT: D --> You are in a position of control over me

AA: i supp0se s0

CT: D --> Oh

AA: what

CT: D --> Oh my God

He babbles about how he needs fresh air or another towel, getting so agitated he actually drops an F-bomb, which he immediately covers up with “Fiddlesticks”. He says he wants to break something, and Aradia offers to break something for him, as she’s developed an interest in breaking things recently. Next page, she flings an “abluti0n trap” through his wall. 

FAILURE ARTIST: The running gag of girls fucking up boy’s homes with bathroom appliances continues!

CHEL: He’s very happy, except about her commoner slang.

CT: D --> In fact, this is an order from your leader

CT: D --> Call things by their proper names

AA: what

AA: y0u want me t0 call it a bath tub

AA: that s0unds ridicul0us

As FA noted, this bit of worldbuilding ends up retconned out with all trolls calling things by strange rewordings later on.

Whatever it’s called, Equius asks her to throw it through the wall again. She asks if that’s an order, and he can’t decide.

CT: D --> You could cause quite a bother for me, with the power you wield

CT: D --> I can do nothing to stop you, peasant girl

CT: D --> It's so magnificently depraved

CALL CPA PLEASE: 13

Aradia ribbits again and he takes it for roleplaying, but commands her to continue to do as she pleases. He tells her he’s bringing the robot body, and muses on whether she should actually be co-leader again; in fact, he decides, she should be the actual leader, in secret, through him. She points out that’s what they’re doing anyway.

CT: D --> You take to authority well for one of your b100d

AA: i d0nt have bl00d

CT: D --> Not yet

CT: D --> But soon your heart will beat anew, and through it, fresh b100d and fresh passion

AA: 0_0

CALL CPA PLEASE: 14

Equius proceeds to STRONGJUMP right up to his first Gate, punching off an ogre’s head as he goes, and to STRONGFALL out into LOQAM, where Aradia waits. Equius hands over the robot and Aradia enters it; she seems happy, but Equius cautiously asks if she feels anything else.

EQUIUS: D --> Can you detect anything within you might describe as

EQUIUS: D --> Smoldering passion

[...]

ARADIABOT: 0h g0d

ARADIABOT: 0H MY G0D WHAT DID Y0U D0!

ARADIABOT: did y0u pr0gram this r0b0t t0 have feelings f0r y0u?

ARADIABOT: R0MANTIC FEELINGS???

EQUIUS: D --> Hrrrk

ARADIABOT: ANSWER ME BLUE BL00D SCUM

EQUIUS: D --> I

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

EQUIUS: D --> Uh

EQUIUS: D --> It's a chip in your heart

EQUIUS: D --> Is that not ok

Understandably, it is emphatically not.

GORE GALORE: 12

Now, this is undeniably a really, really, really creepy thing to do. I’m not sure how much blame can be applied to Equius here, though; he’s been raised in a society which would presumably tell him she would have to accept his advances no matter what, considering their caste difference. In a horrifying way, the chip might have been, in his mind, the nicer option. Still, as I said, creepy.

CALL CPA PLEASE: 15

BRIGHT: I think it’s telling that he asks if it’s not okay after Aradia freaks out, as though he honestly hadn’t considered that Aradia might have a problem with it. Specifically, up until that point, Equius seems to be interacting with Aradia more like she’s a prop than a person — it doesn’t seem to occur to him that she might not want what he wants, unless their wants conflict in a way that he finds titillating. Then she freaks out and he’s surprised. And that in turn speaks volumes about how lowbloods are viewed by highbloods in wider society.

Contrast Vriska, who absolutely realises that people down spectrum can have their own agendas and emotional reactions; she just does her own thing anyway. Vriska is actively malicious; Equius is, at least in this case, accidentally malicious. Note that he doesn’t make any effort to prevent her from removing the chip once he realises she’s distressed. (Not that he really gets a chance.)

Equius in particular also seems to have a problem about slotting people into roles in general -- he does it with Gamzee, too, although since Gamzee is higher-blooded than him, he has to at least face the fact that Gamzee doesn’t fit into his role. He comes across as very sheltered.

FAILURE ARTIST: Equius considers it such a good thing to be a highblood that he thinks he’s doing her the greatest favor by turning her into one. 

CHEL: This also brings up the question of where he got all that blue blood. I hope it’s synthetic. If not, he’s already said he doesn’t kill animals, so I’m not sure whether it’s creepier if he killed another troll for it or if he slowly drained it off from his own.

Aradia’s not contemplating that, too busy crushing the artificial heart and slapping the shit out of Equius for multiple pages, before, er…

Yes, she’s apparently making out with him as a reward for violating her mind, even after the chip was removed. 

BRIGHT: The first time I read Homestuck, I thought that was meant to imply that not all of the programming was gone.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hussie did confirm the programming was gone. He compared it to a failed roofying.

CHEL: This is a bit of a shock, but it makes somewhat more sense when we see more of troll culture, not long in the future. Still, right now it’s probably upsetting for a number of readers because that part of troll culture hasn’t been established, so…

CALL CPA PLEASE: 16

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 41

[worstgirleva]

This thread will explore the character design and visual cues for easy identification of characters in homestuck. Go in detail about design choices for specific characters and how they work well in differentiating the characters

It has already been explored how her long jacket makes her look smaller, but it’s an interesting addition to her design and balances all the indigo she wears otherwise she would be wearing more indigo than her actual color. When looking at the base sprites for characters in homestuck it’s interesting how they’re both at the same time 1: very simple, following the same base and lacking various characteristics (like noses and ears) and 2: extremely easy to differentiate from each other. 

Even arguably the two characters most alike to each other, June and Jake who have the exact same face and only differentiate from each other by their hair and outfit are easy to tell apart even when ignoring their bodies and looking only to their faces.

And of course we should mention the use of different glasses for easy identification of the characters. In a comic where characters are so simple it begs the question: how to make characters easily identifiable? The answer? A lot of glasses.

Jake and June again are the only ones who share a pair of glasses, all the others have one completely unique to them. Jade has round ones, Jane has oval ones, and we absolutely can’t ignore the iconic Strider shades.

Dave and Dirk’s shades have not only become something to easily identify the character, but almost a platonical symbolic representation of their characters. Dirk’s glasses specifically considering how unique they are and how they associate him with anime protagonists

This makes the few characters like Rose and Roxy that don’t use glasses almost unique in their own ways. When six out eight kids wear glasses being the only ones who don’t becomes a novelty (not even mentioning Meat Roxy’s heart shades).

Other subtle details in each character like how their hair is build, mostly using basic shapes that don’t even look like hair and more like a symbolic representation of hair. Like Dirk and Dave's hair are literally birds turned 90 degrees.

Other details like Rose’s headband, the Prospit kid’s buck teeth in contrast with the Lalonde’s lipstick and between their eyes with Jade and Jane’s while June and Jake only have dots for eyes.

Their symbols on their chests and the main detail of their outfit is also a huge signifier of who you’re looking to and part of their personality. Also the only hint of color in their initial outfit designs.

Their bottoms are all also simple and minimalist representation of their clothes. Jade has a long skirt that slightly sits on top of her shoes: You can either read that as just a normal part of her long skirt, or that she’s too small for her skirt.

And now we get into how their designs are so abstract that you can easily have different interpretations of visual things. Some things are just shapes and colors in a way different people will interpret it in different ways.

Maybe Roxy’s hair just looks like that or maybe it’s meant to represent the beehive haircut that was popular in the 60’s linking to Mom Lalonde’s vintage housewife aesthetics.

So let’s skip to act 5 and take a look at the trolls: The first one to have their appearance shown is Karkat. You can consider him the default troll that all others are defined by how they’re different from him.

He has no glasses, little bags under his eyes and what I like to think is the equivalent of buck teeth connecting him with June. They also help his face look less blank. Adding fangs and teeth to trolls is another easy way to make their designs unique.

His hair is very wild which fits into being an literal alien and presents how other trolls will also be wild and have more different designs. His shirt is black, a clear juxtaposing to the kid’s white outfits as the trolls have mostly black clothes.

Creating a clear distinction between kids and trolls and a shared motif between each group. Karkat also has a symbol on his shirt, but a astrological sign one in contrast with the kids having mostly symbols that don’t properly make a pattern.

And of course: he has horns. Giving each character unique horn designs fitting their zodiac motif and personality is another great way of differentiating between them. Each one has a distinct pair of horns that can be easily used to differentiate them.

The next to be introduced is Gamzee: His expression reflects his personality. His hair is even more wild and barely even looks like hair. It's just a lot of shapes together conveying the idea of very wild and unkempt hair.

His horns are much longer and his teeth looks like proper fangs and his facial paint and pants details reinforce his clown aesthetic. He also wears his blood color on his shoes presenting the pattern.

Why is Gamzee often considered the tallest troll? All characters in homestuck have no clear size distinctions. In this image we see Nepeta and Equius (who fanon wise often have very different body types) having the exact same height and body type.

And while Karkat is shouty, he is also harmless, making it common the body type of a very angry little marshmallow. Kanaya on the other hand is composed and refined, making it easy to view her as tall, but in a very different way that Gamzee is tall.

Terezi, has a much more kempt hair and a simple design. Her horns are small, just a little more sharp than Karkat’s, but she is also the first one to have glasses, bright red ones like her shoes which connects her design to Vriska.

Her glasses are another point of iconicity. Where you could only draw a piece that is enterily composed of her glasses and the viewer will know that it’s about Terezi Pyrope.

Her smile and her sharp teeth is another point that brings her personality out. She is sharp and although she is smiling it’s not a friendly and welcoming smile. It’s a smile that invokes fear as she is not scared of violence.

Sollux is another one that comes with iconic glasses. They’re not only useful as a visual signifier, but it fits his duality theme and the two universes. They’re perfectly round in contrast of Terezi’s sharp glasses following shape theory

Rounder shapes are whole and friendly in contrast with triangles that are more dynamic, volatile and aggresive. Sollux might not show it, but he is also harmless and one of the trolls with the largest common sense among the twelve and highly caring for the others.

He also has 4 horns. They’re all very simple, but the fact he has the double amount than all the others not only also fits his themes, but also helps to easily differentiate him from the others. His hair is short, simple and somewhat kempt.

Unsure over the intent of his “bangs”. Are they just short? His hairline? There is a joke about him cutting his hair with funny scissors. Interpretation. And for last his shoes also fit his theme of duality. A small detail, but helps to build his character with few cues.

Tavros has a mohawk (or side cuts, interpretation) and very large bull horns. He wears sandals on the color of his blood and a jacket in contrast to all the others that wears only shirts (something he shares with Vriska)

We will be mostly focusing on Aradia’s dead form because she just changes forms too much in a period of time too small. First: her eyes are completely blank a very clear visual signifier if you ask me!

Her ram horns reinforces her motif and red lipstick and lashes makes her face that would be otherwise quite bland more unique. Her skirt reflects how she is dead and i like the implication that her shirt is button up one.

Another on the list of “things that are implied, but not actually confirmed so its open to you on how you want to draw them”. Her hair is long and fluffy, like a sheep’s fur! Another fitting into her motif.

Next we have Nepeta. She is the first one to have clothes of the blood color of someone important to her. Directly connecting her design to her moirallegiance to Equius. Her mouth and horns fit into her cat motif and her wild hair reflects how unkept she is.

It has already been explored how her long jacket makes her look smaller, but it’s an interesting addition to her design and balances all the indigo she wears otherwise she would be wearing more indigo than her actual color.

And how long can we talk about homestuck without her eventual appearance? That’s right, the next one to introduced is Vriska Serket. Part of the iconic glasses gang her half shades aviator and eightfold eyes makes not only for an easy signifier that “yes, this is Vriska”

But fun fact! the reason i started reading homestuck in the first place was because i saw an image of vriska and i wanted to know what was the deal with her eye.

Her horns reflect the hook and and arrow in her symbol, but also there’s meta about how it represents the sun and the moon. Much to think about. It also connects her with Kanaya as they share one horn since both of their signs are “M”s.

Her jacket is something she shares with tavros and her red shoes she shares with Terezi. Her large hair has a small bit that reminds me Jade which I like to think links to how they’re almost opposites, but I might be just making this up (interpretations!)

Also her eye patch and metal arm links her to captain hook, but I already wrote a very long meta on that too. https://tinyurl.com/qooc5el

Next is Equius. His horn is broken which explores how trolls *can* break their horns over physical trauma. It fits into his symbol and also phallic metaphors. He also wears iconic glasses: square shattered ones with eye bags underneath.

His default mouth brings in to the fact he constantly breaks his teeth and he is one of the only characters with straight hair. And for last: while Nepeta wore indigo all over her her body, Equius doesn’t wear a single piece of green clothing.

Kanaya somewhat follows Terezi and Vriska’s of bright red pieces. Her hair is short and very sharp with few details. Her visible fangs make her mouth more unique. Her long skirt connects her with Jade as they’re both space players.

Her design is clean and conveys very well the idea of how refined and consistent she is. She cares about her appearance and also her T-shirt long sleeve shirt combo also helps to make her more unique

Eridan and Feferi are awfully more detailed than the others like the more far from Karkat we get the unique designs do (which also reflects on how detailed the dancestors are). But anyway.

Eridan is the only one to have dyed hair. His face doesn’t need that many details as he also has those big square glasses and seadweller fins. He wears a lot of Vriska’s color showing how he didn’t moved on from their break up and golden rings to show royalty.

Feferi is almost the only one with no bangs which already makes her design unique. Her golden tiara and goggle make her face unique and simple to signify. her outfit is awfully detailed compared to others with golden jewelry and whatever that skirt was.

All the unique glasses help to frame all the character’s faces and make clear who they are even with the lack of noses, ears or different facial shapes. All the different types of tooth and color of lipstick help to easily differentiate their mouths

It ends up creating designs that could be hyper simplified and still be recognizable. Reducing a character to it’s bare essentials, but it’s already presented on it’s bare essentials so you only elaborate on that.

Not only that but they're reduced to platonical symbols that can easily be subverted so a character can be so many different things.

And here’s hyper fast doodles of each character I did to prove how simple it is to convey an image that can easily be related to each character.

A few more bits on other characters: The midnight crew all have unique body shapes as they lack hair and have very simple designs. They also have unique hats for each one.

Doc Scratch’s head is a white circle. You really can’t go more unique than that. You see a large white circle, that’s doc scratch. It's hyper simple, but also not meant to be interpreted. It *is* a circle and that's it.

The Felt has very unique body shapes since there is way too many of them and they need to be clearly different from each other. They also have unique mouths and and hats, not only in color, but also in shape, to elaborate on that.

The cherubs, well they’re green so it’s easy to distinguish them from other characters and it's interesting how they're so similar to each other, but also so easily differentiated: eyes, cheeks, mouth expression and outfit is all you need to see the clear distinction.

thank you for reading

[snowtimeisbesttime]

Thoughts and questions on Volume 10, routes 1 and 2! ...finally.

-Back in Homestuck both Feferi and Eridan got the short end of the stick screentime-wise, but here, they both got a nice bunch of much-needed Interesting Stuff! It's a shame we're (almost surely) heading back to Earth now, to befriend the heck out of the alpha kids.

~ROUTE 2~

-MC expected the Heiress to be super awful, and then Feferi has literally 2 good endings (whose achievements seem to be reversed route-wise?) and her bad ending you get by actively choosing not to further interact with her. And of course, she's already very much against the Empire, even if she doesn't quite seem to interact with it...

-Maybe I read too many fanfics where all of the beta trolls rebel, but I'm kinda surprised that The Rebellion's still a Vriska & Terezi only thing. Let's hope we get to see if Fef does join up...

-Looks like the whole “Witches living in the middle of nowhere with their extremely powerful guardians” thing is starting to become a trend, huh? In Feferi's specific case her meteor probably fell right in front of Gl'bgolyb (a pretty damn large area, actually), who would’ve then immediately gone “holy shit a sky baby” and adopted her.

-Considering that the Condesce can just come down to Alternia and personally get rid of the Heiress (singular, explicitly), living so far from everything was probably a blessing in disguise. And maybe also NOT being involved with how the planet's run- though we'd have to ask a certain Trizza Hiveswap about that...

-She was planning on waiting thousands of sweeps before challenging the Condesce, though iirc the whole thing with Heiresses challenging HIC was something demanded by their shared lusus... She didn't really bother with future ruling plans in Homestuck because they were going to play SGRUB; though Glubglub also bonded more strongly with Feferi because HIC was too far from Alternia... enough to actively favor her over the Empress?

-We also get even more confirmation that seadwellers are OP: Feferi blows up a huge air bubble (that stays on the ocean floor) for MC not to drown like it's nothing, and she's very likely even stronger than Equius*. Meanwhile, Eridan gets thrown through a party cannon (that was just there on the airship for reasons i guess??) AND has Daraya's mall thrown at him by Sollux, and practically walks it off, though he does say later that it was close. You know who'd be a Great Additional Data Point??? Cridea Jeevik.......

-*However, they would not fight, as they both stan Nepeta. On a more serious note, having Feferi interact on-screen with the other trolls would've been very nice... she's hanging out with Sollux in Eridan's route but We Don't See It... We know she's friends with Kanaya, and she also had a pretty nice interaction with Vriska back on one of the walkaround flashes too,

-On seadwellers in general- neck gills are canon (though if i remember correctly a Very Old Tumblr Post, that'd actually not be the best place to have gills? Idk tho), as we can see in Feferi's route; and then we have Eridan, who we know has spent very little time underwater in his entire life, with his scarf *and* a high neck shirt. (this might just be me but. wouldn't it be super uncomfortable to have clothing touching one's gills??? i guess it would kinda depend on the specific take on gills, biology wise)

-Feferi owns a ~fancy air-producing conch shell~, so that's that for any fan seadwellers that Need to have landdwelling friends over.

-MC theorizes that there might be something that makes adult empresses evil... something external, such as a powerful curse of some sort... which would have to transfer from dead empress to freshly crowned empress somehow... really makes you think...

-Feferi can use one of Glubglub's eyes (?) as a crystal ball from which she can access the Actual Dark Motherfucking Carnival, and get metaphysical advice from there. And the one giving her said advice is our precious clown son Karako, who may or may not have gotten like 10 degrees on weird meta shit since we last saw him- assuming he's the same bapy as last time...

-According to Karako or whomstever is speaking through him, there's a creator above this world's creator, as well as another creator above him, and another one above her, and so on and so forth maybe? Wonder what's this setting up for........

-Feferi can either meditate her way up through layers and layers of meta, so she might access them and interact with them, or choose to change stuff in the Alternia she knows and lives in, small as it may be; both these endings have a lot of potential for cool stuff that I hope we'll get to see. Depending on the choice, MC is either a cheese or a marshmallow.

-In Fef's bad end, MC wonders about the workings and limits of their plot armor; they do give it a good whirl in this entire volume.

-I am incredibly pleased to announce that the ally/eely pun also works in Spanish (aliado/anguilado)

~ROUTE 1~

-We find out that both Vriska and Feferi have dumped Eridan- the first's likely busy being gay and doing revolutions with Terezi, but what happened (besides charming quirks such as charging for listening to him brooding) to make Fef break it off? In Homestuck she broke things off with him as soon as they were in the game and Glubglub didn't have to be fed 413 lusii a minute, but there's no SGRUB in Pesterquest; we see Fef's mom in her route, yet we don't hear anything about Eridan's whole Orphaner Jr thing...

-Regarding his additional lack of friends: it's perfectly understandable that Kanaya would drop him, considering she had to deal with a lot of his bullshit back in the comic, but I thought Karkat was actually friends with Eridan? Before Murderstuck of course, but that's obviously not happened in Pesterquest...

-Eridan's 13 years old (and also in charge of feeding glubglub, let's not forget that), where the hell has he found the time to make a nuisance of himself (to the point where employees in some places are legally allowed to stab him if he bothers them) on like half the actual planet????

-MC's reaction when confronted with a room full of fancy clothing is, of course, Big Hype... And wanting something new for their wardrobe.

-so, are Eridan and Roxy nb wizard solidarity?

-Chances are everybody’s already seen this by now orz but I need it to establish a base: Hussie's made an statement where he explained -amongst other things- Eridan's deal with Shrek, originally from [S] Collide. That post could be summarized as:

1) highblood lusii tend to suck ass because of high expectations and low emotional availability, & seahorsedad wasn't an exception; so when the trolls were looking up human stuff back in the meteor and Eridan found Shrek, he saw him as a Good Lusus Figure.

2) Sollux, however, has a good dad that loves and supports his trans son (as sollux trans confirmed) and is also Kinda Ogre Shaped, and Eridan resents him for that → rivalry

3) (it's also confirmed that the eridan from [s] collide was legitimately so happy to be spending time with his dad shrek that he never realized he was dead)

-So: where did Eridan (more like whoever’s in charge of the cinema actually?) get Shrek 2 from if he's never had any contact with humans in this timeline / reality / canon chunk??? It might be one of the Funky Timeline Changes we made in Aradia's route.

-Also: if Eridan knows Sollux is trans (implied in the post but not confirmed), then the conversation the two have later in the route (and specifically Why Eridan begins that conversation) kiiinda takes a dump on his talk about gender (which otherwise is a very good sign that he's got the potential to be a decent person IF he gets his shit together and also thinks about other things -most obviously the hemospectrum- with the same level of depth and all that).

-MC's had their first taste of their Homestuck memories. Let's see how they get them back this time.

-not to self plug (too much) but one of Eridan's fancy articles of clothing looks a Lot like an outfit that's appeared in Mirrorbent?? (← warning for a bit of blood) The one with the purple and yellow gradient in the rack furthest to the right... the one in mirrorbent is basically Gramma Loreto Rights: The Jacket

-After the rollercoaster of hapenings that is his route, Eridan finally understands that he's got to change himself and unlearn all of Alternia's bullshit if he wants his situation to change for the better. Can't believe it took getting An Actual Mall thrown at him to make him realize that...........

-(That mall is of course the one from Daraya's Friendsim- and she sure felt like a Destruction class back then... 2x hopeprince combo mayhaps?)

-Kanaya said in Sollux's route that it was less than advisable for him to overexert his powers, and the only thing he *doesn't* use here is his psionic blasts- hope he's fine! (then again this is probably our last volume on alternia and blah blah blah)

[starving-leijon]

(that was a lot of asks! I’m gonna take a small break as to make sure i dont burn out but I will be back later! It won’t be more than an hour 

[officialspec]

gemstuck lore

ok i cant find the ask for this so im just gonna dump a bunch of gemstuck lore under the cut lol (Super Long just letting u know)

its not fully developed bc im only one man BUT heres somne of the ideas i have so far

general timeline

rose diamond inherits earth as a colony, becomes rose quartz

attempts to fight off the other diamonds

abandoned by her pearl, assumed dead

kids emerge, no attacks for a while

a transport vessel is knocked wildly off course by a stowaway defective bloodstone

the rest of the trollgems arrive on earth

scouting vessel finds trolls on earth with alive rose, alert homeworld

black diamond attempts to usurp rose, lead by pearl

pearl fakes rose’s shattering, reports her as dead

altercation between pearl and bloodstone 6KN, KN is shattered

cracked/shattered gems are healed by turquoise

KN returns from the dead, destroys pearl

bd continues attacking earth, fought off by remaining gems

cherub kids enter story

feferi (rose diamond/quartz)

wanted earth for the specific purpose of using it to house gems and other life, protecting them from other diamonds

not secretive about being a diamond, presents as a quartz bc she doesnt believe shes better than anyone

still condescending and selfish, but has good intentions. i luv her

eridan (pearl)

enjoyed elevated status of pearl belonging to a diamond

hated feferi for choosing to be a quartz and appreciating other ‘lesser’ gems (especially her pilot) because it decreased his status

defected to black diamond to regain power

sucks. Im Glad Hes Dead

karkat and kanaya (bloodstones)

gems designed for assigning roles and status to newly formed gems

keep records of gems emerging from kindergartens

kanaya (6KN) is chipped, needs to feed on light energy to keep her form stable

karkat (6KK) is malformed and much smaller than he should be, hides his gem

karkat has dreams of rising above his gem class and status and being a general for homeworld, drags kanaya into a plan to stowaway and hijack a transport vessel to show off his ‘skills’

it doesnt work out

sollux (peridot)

part of a batch of peridots with pietersite inclusions 

pietersite is a small battery gem used to power things

as a result he produces ridiculous amounts of energy and the batch was utilised to power and pilot ships

was the pilot for rose diamonds ship specifically. she didnt know this until a while after arriving on earth and was pretty horrified

has some gem damage from being used as an electrical current, fucked up his eye

equius and nepeta (cats eye and azurite)

battle gems usually made in pairs, basically a tank+stealth combo lol

era 2 cats eye designed to attack hard+fast, zips around super quick to dodge attacks

azurite designed to be a body shield, can withstand most attacks and hits hard

crazy good at fighting when they figure out how to fuse. unstoppable force meets immovable object baby

aradia (morganite)

gem reapers! collect shards off the battlefield, designed to have ghost powers so they can move around without disturbing the action

aradia was cracked by a lapis in battle and is basically stuck in ‘floaty incorporeal mode’ until she gets fixed

it takes a long time tho and her form starts glitching and falling apart towards the end

terezi and vriska (zircon and lapis lazuli)

basically follows the canon storyline??

terezi found out about aradia while they were fused, took control of the fusion and slashed them across the face

forgot thats where her gem was and ended up with a fissure, going blind in her other eye

they have matching scars there now

terezi healed her gem just enough to keep it from breaking completely, hesitant to fix her blindness because of the connection to vriska

gamzee and tavros (amethyst and amber)

amethysts are whatever. ur tall we get it

ambers are usually small gems with malleable forms, able to control their hair like one of those sticky hands. lil goop man

tavros wanted to be taller after pressure from vriska, redistributed mass from his legs like an idiot and got stuck like that

acquired limb extenders. was it worth it for the extra 5 inches of height. was it. was it r ea l l y

jade and jake (jade and serpentine)

first gems to emerge, right after rose diamonds arrival

jades can use gem projections to make things bigger/smaller, extremely valuable for building

serpentines are reconnaissance gems, move quickly around an area and record important info. can walk on sideways surfaces and upside down and stuff

jade likes to shapeshift into a big dog because she just loves them so much. they are so joyous and carefree

dave and dirk (pearl twins) 

created by a jasper (bro) to serve in the war, meant to explore the potentials for pearls to fight when fused

dirk came out too round and was bubbled immediately, compressing his form. him short

dave was then pressured to essentially perform for two, kept his brothers bubble in his gem

got slashed across the gem and cracked, couldnt take dirk out until he was healed way later

dirk copes with the rejection by rejecting gem culture entirely and talking to his holodirks way too much. hes a big ol weirdo

rose and roxy (sapphire and cats eye)

sapphires can see the future we know this

era 1 cats eyes were designed to be fast, elegant and performative. originally fought each other for aristocracy, not really made for real fighting

roxy is determined to fight for real, trains hard and ends up real good at it

rose helps roxy by predicting their opponents next move and sometimes they fight blindfolded

both of them are so smug all the time its great

john and jane (lightning quartz and turquoise)

lightning quartz are weather gems! still mostly common soldiers but they can manipulate the wind and water in the air to make shit happen 

they can also change their mass/density to be light enough to float on wind or heavy enough to hit harder

turquoise are basic healer gems. janes gloves dispense the goo used to fix warps, that can also be used to fix gems in a pinch

its not perfect though and usually leaves a scar where the crack was like its been glued together

theyre the newest gems from the earth kindergarten and just so excited to be here !!! wow

[2twopiid]

> Sollux: Realize™

There’s a lump in your throat that you haven’t been able to swallow down for hours, no matter how hard you try, and as frustrated as you are by this fact, you’re much more frustrated by the ache in your chest. 

You can only remember two other times in your life where you felt like this. The first, when you were six, a few days after you found a crater where Karkat’s hive used to be, when you realized your friends were gone, and they weren’t coming back. The second, when John coped with your death by leaving without a word, and you thought that was going to be the end of your relationship with him.

You’re sat on the roof of John’s apartment building, back resting against an air conditioning unit. You came straight up here as soon as you got back from your date with Nepeta… if you can even really call it a date; that whole thing definitely seemed more like a hook-up situation, not that the semantics are really important right now. That’s not really what’s on your mind right now.

Right now, you’re thinking about Aradia, and how she kept saying that she wanted to help you, and how she kept also saying things that you were struggling to believe she didn’t know would hurt you, and how she blocked you when you got pissed off about it. You’re thinking about all of that, and you’re also thinking about how cold your face is. It’s not particularly windy, but the air is crisp, and the light breeze that is there bites at your cheeks. 

As your jaw clenches tightly to distract you from the cold, you hear the door to the roof open. Your hand flies to where your pendant rests on your chest, quickly checking to make sure you’re wearing it. You’re usually good about remembering to put it on when you’re not inside John’s unit, but you can’t help the reflexive checking.

A second wave of relieve washes over you as you notice that the guy now approaching you is John himself. He silently approaches you and sits himself down beside you. Without a word, you lean up against him. A small grunt escapes you as you try not to move some of your more tender muscles. John doesn’t seem to think twice about it, which you’re glad about. You don’t really want to explain the events of last night to him. You’re not even sure how well you’d do at talking in general right about now.

Knowing when you need to talk and when you need silence has become second nature to John. If this was earlier on in your relationship, he’d probably be asking you why you were upset right now. Instead, he wraps his arm around you and you lean further into him until your face is pressed up against his chest.

You stay like that for a long time, listening to his heart beating, trying to focus all of your mental energy on the soft thumps so you don’t have to think about the heaviness in your own ribcage.

Eventually, you force out the words “She blocked me.” And you can’t see it, but you’re sure John is doing that small concerned frown he does when he can tell that you’re hurting and just don’t know how to talk about it.

“Aradia did?” he asks, and you don’t have to answer because before you even open your mouth he asks “Which one?”

“You know which one,” you mutter as you pull your phone up closer to your face.

“Ah.” His chest rumbles as he hums in understanding. “Are you going to tell me why?”

You clench your jaw until your teeth hurt, absently tapping at your screen until you find yourself looking at your last message to her. “Because I got pissed at her for being an asshole,” you tell him.

“Is that why?” His hand moves to play with your hair. “Or were you doing that self-sabotaging thing you do where you try to make everything as bad as you can until you get called on your bluff and end up more hurt than you already were?”

You don’t answer. You want to deny it, but you’re not sure you can. You’ve done that before. You’ve done it to John more than once.

After a moment, John seems to realize what you’re thinking. “Maybe it’ll just be a few days,” he says, but you can hear the uncertainty in his voice. You know he has no idea what’ll happen. And something about the uncertainty makes your heart twinge.

Later, John brings you back inside so you’ll eat something. You spend a long time staring at the food he puts in front of you, intermittently scrolling through your messages. When you do get around to eating the food, it’s already cold.

When you finish, John takes your necklace off and hangs it on the hook by the door before pulling you to his room to cuddle on his bed.

Eventually, John falls asleep, his slow breathing now the soundtrack to your thoughts.

You get stuck on the last thing she said to you. 

AA: well i tried AA: do whatever pleases you i dont care anymore

You can practically hear her saying the words on a loop as you scroll farther back into the conversation. You read her words of support, followed by your harsh responses. Every “You’ll get through this” met with a disdainful “Why do you care?”

As you read the messages chronologically, you watch her patience wear thin. It’s so fucking obvious, but you were too busy thinking about yourself to see it.

Again, you reach the end.

TA: ok well iif you want me two feel better you’re doiing a pretty 2hiit job lol.

AA: well i tried AA: do whatever pleases you i dont care anymore

TA: yeah you made that pretty fuckiing clear.

But this time, you don’t feel the same rage as the last few times you read through the same conversation. The ache in your chest is soon replaced with a hollowness, making the fact that your heart is suddenly racing feel twice as intense as you think it probably should.

“She blocked me,” you say to nobody, as if it’s news. Except it’s not, because you already knew she blocked you.

AA: well i tried

You read it again.

AA: i dont care anymore

And each time you read it, it hits you harder. She didn’t do this lightly. She’s not like you, she’s not the person who blocks people she cares about when things get heated.

“She blocked me,” you repeat, and as the realization that she really doesn’t want anything to do with you hits, your heart breaks all over again. And soon follows the realization that as much as you’re hurting right now because of her, there’s no comparison to how badly you would hurt if the last thing she ever said to you was that she didn’t care anymore.

You don’t know how you’re going to fix this, and you don’t know how long it’s going to take, but you do know what the first step is.

You sit up, moving to gently shake John’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, before his eyes are even fully opened.

“I need your help to be better.”

[borgatabent]

Festival Of Many Colors - A Summary

day 1: poison! :D day 2: everyone fit your dates in here day 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Or, in more detail:

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 9:56 PM

It's the last day of the Festival of Many Colors, and as expected, your plans for the crew's involvement therein have fallen apart quite spectacularly.  People split off, like you told them not to.  People got poisoned and hurt, as you expected.  By the time your own kids split off from you, well, you aren't surprised.

At least you trust them to stick with the people they split off with.  They'd better.

You, though? You feel safe as can be as you wander the booths, eyeing the wares the local artists of the city have brought forth to peddle to the masses.  In particular, you've been standing before a rather ornate painting of a cat that just...well, it tickles you.  The roundness of its face.  The wide icy lakes of its eyes.  Arresting.  Brim of your hat pulled low, you notice nothing else as you look it over.

"Now ain't that something..."

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 10:05 PM

The festival has been treating you great so far. You got to reunite with an old friend and spend some quality time with your sharks! None of the Felt got (unintentionally) drugged as far as you are aware, and it's such a great opportunity to more or less openly steal food.  Great festival so far 10/10.

They even had some ameozwing pieces of art on display. So amazing you didn't even notice you lost your shark companions. So amazing you don't even notice the  man standing right next to you as you you stare at the painting until he speaks up.

The only thing that leaves your mouth is a half hissed "You!" in true anime fashion.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 10:09 PM

The troll woman's word brings your head up and away from the painting, but you don't need to look to see who it is.  It has been two years since last you saw her in person, but oh. Oh. You could never forget that voice.  When you turn your eyes down to Nepeta, your face is purposefully and carefully blank.

Until, once facing her completely, you allow a smile to unfurl across your face, slow and malicious. 

"Evening, kitten.  It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 10:21 PM

He's better at suppressing his emotions, your face immediately gives away your murderous intent. It's something you should work on but you can't help it when you see him in person, especially after so long.  Of course you knew you'd meet again but you are still surprised by how hard it is not to jump at his throat right here on the street. 

Easy now. You know you can't do that.  You remind yourself that you are going to, one day, and your fists unclench. Huh, you hadn't even noticed doing that. 

"Not long enough." That's all he get's out of you before you sweetly ask for the cat pictures price. It's childish for sure, but if the only thing you can do right now is a buy a beautiful cat painting before he can you will take it.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 10:25 PM

You chuckle, reveling in the hatred she glares at you.  It's rolling off of her, like heat, and you hadn't realized until that moment how much you truly had looked forward to this.  To see that rage directed at you was, in a word, sublime.  And then she's trying to buy that lovely cat painting. 

You think that's childish, Nepeta? Watch this. 

Cutting the artist off mid-speech, you say to them--never once taking your eyes off of the girl--"I'll pay twice the asking price for it right now."

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 10:39 PM

Oh that motherfucker. How dare he, he's not even interested in this fine piece of art, he just wants to piss you off. And he's successful at that too. 

You don't have as much money but you have a lot of hate in your little heart.

"Can you really afford that? Funerals are so expensive these days. Shouldn't you save up to get get poor sweet Aradia the best funeral money can buy?"  Your face doesn't show your hate quite so obviously now but it unmistakably seeps into your words. It's a low blow, but you don't give a damn.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 10:44 PM

That smile on your face snuffs out in an instant, and your mouth becomes a hard, angry line.  You can feel your face flush with a hot surge of anger, you can feel it pulse in your strained neck.  Your hand, which had idly been stroking over a small statuette of a cat similar to that of the one in the painting, goes still over its porcelain head. 

"You'd best button your lips," you say slow, "especially about things that don't concern you, Miss Leijon.  It'd be a shame if someone were to knock those pretty new teeth of yours out again for your smartassery."

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 10:52 PM

Yeah, that one got him good and you couldn't stop the smile from spreading on your face if you wanted to, showing off all these pretty, pretty teeth. 

"It'd be a shame if you'd have to bury your children too, yet here we are. How long do you think hot wings will make it? Chicken is a popular snack around here." 

Truth is, you don't hold any grudges against Droogs kids, they don't have to die anytime soon, they should bury him if things go your way. But it's the easiest way to get to him, and if he doesn't want you to ignore him? Fine, you can play dirty too.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 10:57 PM

Your jaw tightens, just as your grip on the little porcelain kitty does as well.  You can feel it grinding against your palm, past the skin, statuette against carapace.  Stone to stone.  You can hear it creak pathetically under the stress, and not for the first time, you imagine it isn't the porcelain kitty's head beneath your grip. 

You say, "Awful funny of you to mention.  Had some shark soup the other day.  Real tasty--you ever have it?" 

Coolly, you cast your eyes about.  Neither of the cat's pet sharks seem to be about.  You turn your glance back at her.  "Bet olive grub tastes just as nice this time of year."

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 11:02 PM

"Oh, no I can't say I had the pleasure yet, I prefer getting my shark fresh and raw." You are not going to fall for his cheap distractions. 

 "You think so? I hear alternian trolls prefer maroon bloods for such things. You know, since they usually don't grow very old anyways."

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 11:06 PM

"Yeah?"  You chuckle low in your throat.  It's not mirthful; it's a sound of warning.  "I'll tell ya, you kooky trolls are all full of surprises."

You turn to her then, your hand dipping below your collar for a moment.  When you raise it, hooked around your thumb on a thin gold chain, dangles a sharp tooth.  The very top of it, though run through with a hole to hold the clasp, is still dyed a light olive green.  "All kinds of uses for every part of you.  I'd love to see what I could do with those little candy corn beauties on that thick skull of yours."

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 11:22 PM

Oh that's dirty. You were trying so hard to hold back, can't cause a scene here, right in public, after all. But no, he had to go and take out his little trophy. Sick bastard, did he always carry that around with him or just for special occasions?

Hot white rage fills your head as soon as you see your tooth, you barely even hear his mocking words through it all, too fixated on it. You remember all too well how he took it, all the pain, all the misery, all the fury, bottled up and culminated over two long years like a fine wine. 

It feels like this single moment of rage stretches on forever until everything happens  fast and all at once. You hadn't even noticed that you had clenched your fists, hard enough to draw blood with your claws when you are already swinging a punch right at his insufferable smug face, connecting with an audible crunching noise. 

And god, it feels so good. Finally some sweet release.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 11:28 PM

The thing you've learned about trolls, after having a hand in raising a small squadron of them over the years, is that these fuckers are deceptively strong.  You wouldn't know it by looking at them, but you've seen them lay grown body builders flat at the tender age of 10.  So when that fist connects with your face, you feel the carapace beneath crack before you are sent reeling backwards into the crowd. 

Shouts of alarm go up around you as you bowl people over, only to quickly leap to your feet, easy as you please.  The shadow magic skin you're wearing on your face is crooked, torn at the seam of your jaw, and you take just a moment to pull it back into place before you lunge forward at her in turn. 

The porcelain kitty still in your hand, you grab at her collar to pull her up as you bring it down and shatter upon the crown of Nepeta's head.

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Yesterday at 11:39 PM

You are still too engulfed in that sweet rush of violence to see him coming in time to dodge the kitty, what a regrettable waste of art that was. The other thing about you trolls is how headstrong you are. Sure it hurts like a bitch, sure you can feel sticky olive blood pooling in your hair, but it's not going to anything to stop you.

Instead you take the opportunity to show him just how sturdy your pretty little head is. You grab him and headbutt him right in the mouth, hoping to break some teeth in the process.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Yesterday at 11:52 PM

You're sturdy, but holy shit, not that sturdy.  You can feel the hot spray of blood gush from your nose, from your mouth, from the now fractured carapace beneath your lips.  There is the click-click and drip-drip as you stagger back, broken teeth and candy red blood falling like rain to the ground below, despite the way you cup your mouth to prevent the fall.  It's all wet heat on your palm. 

The look in your eyes, one reverted back to its natural white after such a hard hit, is one of pure. 

Unbridled. 

Rage. 

"You fucking stupid bitch," you slur as you shrug off your heavy coat.  It's weighing you down, even if you had chosen it to hide the dip in your mostly healed arm, hideous as it is beneath the thin fabric of your shirt.  You spring forward, arm pulled back to launch a punch toward Nepeta's stupid fucking bitch face, fist surrounded by thick purple flame.  "Look what you've done to me!"

Coco (Nep/Ara/Sock)Today at 12:25 AM

Oh but you are looking, and you are so pleased with your work.  How's it feel to be the one who's too furious to think straight Droog? Pretty good it doesn't seem. 

It feels so intoxicating to finally have the upper hand, to finally not only stand on even ground with Droog, but above him. He's becoming undone right before your eyes and even though part of you knows it's not just because of you but thanks to a whole series of events he and the Crew recently suffered, you decide that no. This is all about you. 

Your rage, your revenge, your victory, ready for the taking. 

Exposing a glaring weak point like his arm was his first mistake, using it to attack you the second. You catch his arm mid punch without any problems. Sure the magic fire burns your flesh but you smile at his face despite the disgusting smell of your own sizzling flesh. 

"I think you are the stupid fucking bitch, kitten." 

You don't waste any time and use your opening to kick him right in the stomach, hard. But you don't let go of his arm, even when he hits the ground. Instead you pull, putting your strength to good use. You don't stop pulling not when you hear a a loud popping, and not when you hear a sickening a crunch. One last effort from your side and you finally stumble back, his arm in your hand. Your very own little trophy, one you will treasure dearly. 

You stand above him finally tasting sweet victory, blood rushing in your ears. This is better than any high you ever had. The temptation to kill him on the spot but you settle for another kick right into his oh so handsome face instead before you spit on him,  just because you can. "Always a pleasure playing with you kitty cat." 

With that you turn around to flee the crime scene and report to Snowman.

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 12:35 AM

It's fast, it's all too fast--you're on the ground before you can even properly think, and then you're hearing this sound, and it's so hard to parse through the screams of the crowd down pushed as far back away from the two of you as they can get.  They're shouting for help, for the police, for something,but you can't hardly hear it over the pop and break of your own sinews, and that other sound.  God, what is that? 

Oh.

It's your own screaming.  That's new. 

When Nepeta pulls your arm away from you, you're left to stare blankly up at her.  The world is grey and hazy, but this olive troll and your arm are in sharp, painful focus.  You register the kick to the face and the heat of your blood pooling on the ground below you, and it just doesn't seem real.  Like a strange dream turned nightmare, in the blink of an eye. 

As she walks away, you go to lift your arm only to realize, whoops, that's not there anymore.  You lift your other and fumble around for your phone.  As you tap on the screen, now streaked with the gore of you, you realize you're shaking uncontrollably.  Or you suppose it is.  It seems so far away, as though you're watching some other armless sap shaking like a leaf in a tornado.

You put the phone up to your ear, still skewed from the hit you took earlier.  You think you're speaking loudly, but your voice is barely a whisper. 

"Hey Slick, uh... ...my arm's..." Before you can say another clarifying word, the phone slips out of your hand and comes to rest in the sticky red lake forming beneath you.  You pass out.

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 12:43 AM

Oh well. Oh shit. This was bad. You refound Nepeta a few moments ago, but the fight was already a little heated to step inbetween. Especially since Nepeta looked like she got it handled pretty well. (Better than you ever could.) Before you could quit the hemming and hawing and decide what to do, it was already over. And...

You definitely didn't expect THAT outcome. Now, Nepeta surely got hurt a little. But... she was fine enough to run away. You already had your camera handy for the festival. Some cute kissy selfies with your lovers and totally not stolen plushies on there. You're gonna check on your beloved meowrail in a minute, for sure. But until then...

Click.

Nepeta would want it that way. And then you are gone too. All you can hope is that Droog managed to catch your gleeful grin before he passed out.

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 12:42 AM

You're at the festival, already fighting the heat of rage from building up inside of you. You're looking for clues as to the whereabouts of the mysterious vendor from the other day. The one that drugged your son. He tore himself up pretty good and you're not going to rest until you have your vengeance.

That's when you think you might be hearing screams. It draws your attention enough for you to squint at the forming crowd. A few thoughts buzz through your head as you casually start making your way over--

Your phone rings. You answer. Your heart squeezes tight and a chill runs through you, cold enough to snatch your breath away. "Droog?!" You can hear the crowd still shouting on the other end of the line, as well as in that close distance. You start running, shouting for him on the phone to no answer.

You're shoving people aside, desperate and wild, until you see him. Unconscious, bleeding out, phone in his bloody fingers. You don't think. You drop to your knees and stop the bleeding with shadow magic. You're shaking him, trying to wake him up. Screaming at the people surrounding you.

"WHO DID THIS?! WHO FUCKING DID THIS?!"

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 12:48 AM

You had a gameplan. Day three made sense for you to arrive, bundled up and faking illness that you have been boasting. Scarf on, coat buttoned, one of those little paper masks to indicate a cough.  Perfect enough to get at least some sembelence of festival and buy a few pumpkins and lose a few games in the quest for the kiwi.  Maybe even heckle some of the crew since you heard they had a kissing booth all up and about.

So of course, just as you are about to waste said money on a dream you hear some sort of commotion nearby.  Immediately you abandon the baseballs as you break into a run, pushing and shoving until you reach the break in the crowd. 

And blanch at the sight.  Oh frog...  Still, time to get the authority voice on as you pull out a badge. 

"I need everyone to clear some space. NOW "  That was more for the crowd than Slick since you expect his shadowy magic is probably better suited for stopping the bloodflow than any bandage pressure you could provide.  You pull out your phone and dial up.  "We have an emergency situation here.   Massive injury. Ambulance needed."  You already have an idea of who did this based on your own sources but telling that to Slick sounds like the top 10 worst bad ideas right now.

Avery (PS/Sollux)Today at 12:54 AM

You're Problem Sleuth and you're running through the crowds that are panicking over the event that seems to be a girl tearing out Diamonds' arm and you've never dodged running citizens like this until you were in the court yard of Prospit when the war was announced.

Goddamn there were apparently a bunch of spectators to the de-arming and when you get there, you see Slick and you hear the wrath in his voice. Seeing you kismesis in si much rage almost makes you feel anger too. And you look around in time to see the tail of a green coat and you're running before you even know it. 

The Crew and whichever faction this was, you suspect Felt, are at each other's necks, you're trying to not even think of the new faction rising to power -- "Get out the way!" You're hot on the suspect's trail and you hope it better stay that way.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar/HD)Today at 12:56 AM

Your name is Clover, and you'd probably been catching up to the sharks. Everything was going smooth, absolutely everything- and then you turned and you saw Diamonds Droog hitting the ground, and it all happened so fast you could barely register it before you see Nepeta tear his arm straight off, and when she runs- 

Well, you do too. If anybody's gonna need some fucking luck, it's your kitty, after all. You're not thinking about anything else.

[insert missing post of Fin, fleeing along Nepeta and Trace and getting into the car]

Carro (DD/08/WQ)Today at 1:00 AM

Your name is the White Queen, and you had been nearby with your Dame when the commotion had started.  It had taken you until now to push through the crowd to get close enough to see what is happening, but when you do, you reel back.  Though you had promised yourself that you would not do so again for a long time, you clasp your hands together and focus your empathetic powers on your ring to send a pulse of calm through the crowd.  It won't do anything for the humans and the trolls among them, but it will be enough to calm the carapacians from outright rioting. 

In the meantime, your name is Snowman, and you are fading to and from black. In your room one moment, a few paces ahead of Nepeta the next.  She collides with you but you anticipate it, and you wrap your arms tight around her.  You toss a wink over her head at the men pursuing her, and in a shimmer, you fade to black once more.  You would both find yourself collapsed upon your own bed to soften the impact of your collision, bouncing once before settling.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar/HD)Today at 1:00 AM

The Dame herself, though- when the screaming starts, she replaces her glamour with something that the citizens don't know but her Agents would recognize as a favored disguise, and she gets on clearing everybody the hell out of the way. Her imagination presses up against the minds of particularly stubborn crowd folk, pushes suggestion in to make the process easier. Leave, leave, leave. Get to safety, get to calm, it will all be alright.

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:03 AM

Too bad, Fin. Because all of a sudden, Trace is gone. He has been tailing people long enough to notice that they, and more importantly Nepeta, had been followed, and ducked away to the side during the next best occasion. Hopefully quick enough.  It was. The crowd surely helped. You see someone that is very definitely not a Felt running right past the corner and past you, whereas everyone else tried their best to get away from anything green. 

 Maybe some of Clover's luck rubbed off on you too. Unfortunately for Mr. Sleuth. Before he has a chance to turn around, you reach for his collar and suddenly you're on his back. 

 "Not so fast, copper. This ain't your business" you just growl into his ear. A well aimed punch should take care of the rest. Time to get outta here.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 1:08 AM

Jay's ears perk as Clover texts her for a pick up, she leaps from the roof and teleports in front of Clover. Skidding to the side from the force of the teleport she looks at Clover, all of her soft and kind looks gone. She is determined and calculating. All in one go, as soon as she stops skidding she lunges at Clover, scooping him up over her shoulder and looking at the ones chasing. With a flick of a tail and a flash of green her and Clover are gone, standing in the main lobby of the Felt manor, Jay nods at him as she sets him down and teleports right back to the roof from before. Ready to extract anyone else.

Avery (PS/Sollux)Today at 1:09 AM

You're running and you're catching up, reaching out to harness your imagination to start forming your sword when the process is cut short by someone pulling you back by your collar and you choke. 

You look fast enough to see who it was and then the punch comes and you're knocked out. Falling to your knees and onto the cold ground of the alley.

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:09 AM

Soon after, Trace slips into the back of the car and tosses Fin the key.  "Get us home!" Squint around.  "Where did Nepeta go? Weren't you with her?"

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:10 AM

"I thought you were with her! " Car car key right. Time to scram.

pixel~! (04/Dualscar/HD)Today at 1:11 AM

Before the pup can vanish, Clover grabs her be the sleeve and as quick as a radio host, he tells her- "Check for the sharks, check the festival, get Doze before Slick finds him and decides to take everything out on him. They were nearby, I don't know where they went."

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 1:13 AM

Your name is Jade and you hears screams and slick's furious anger. Something bad has happened and you think it must be one of the bosses. You run to see what's happened and gasp at the sight. 

Droog's on the ground bleeding and Slick is there holding him, fixing with shadow magic but snarling for answers. Officer Ingleton is there too otherwise you'd step in to see what happened. Instead you question the people near you in fake hysteria, asking what's going on. 

You're very displeased to learn the stupid cat bitch was the one to cause this. Fuck, if this wasn't an escalation. The bitch was probably long gone too. What about the others though? 

This wasn't good. You're quick to go see what Felt was still left on the grounds.

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:14 AM

You name is Jude Harley and you are running to the car with your police badge in hand, but sadly no guns, just...the flare one? Right it's on your common equipment so you take aim to the car and shoot, permission can come later.

“STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW! " 

 Somebody roll a dice to see if he break a window or not.

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 1:14 AM

There is a ping of feeling. An attempt to calm your rage. It is swallowed whole. Nothing can quell your anger and your outright pain in this moment. A ring sitting heavy in your pocket, your matesprit of uncountable years broken in your arms. And a name ringing in your ears. 

Nepeta. "The cat girl in the Felt."

You've seen them scrambling away. And you won't chase them. No. You will plan. You will make sure that the next move you make completely and utterly shatters them.

"Lyosha... Lyosha wake up. Please."

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:15 AM

He's dead, Jim.

Meanwhile Kingpin is somewhere in the crowd, watching the show and having a damn good time

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:18 AM

And this is why you don't let Fin drive, with all the trails blocking the way and now a god damn flare breaking the back window the shark is now panicking and screaming. 

"AW FUCK! TRACE TAKE THE WHEEL !! OF ALL DAYS YOU HAD TO LET ME DRIVE TODAY!?" 

The trash you left earlier on the backseat is on fire.

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:19 AM

Oh no. Oh no no no. Not the window. 

"I CAN'T TAKE THE WHEEL WHEN- WHEN YOU'RE SITTING BEHIND IT! JUST! STOP! PULL OVER."

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:20 AM

>dramatic car break 

>those wheels are really good but they will look like shit after this 

"GET IN HERE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:21 AM

Hey Fin, do you know this look? You know this look. It's the look Trace gave you after Itchy sucked your dick. 

"Move over." Growl.

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:21 AM

>You move over and try to put down the fire on the back 

"I’m taking no reponsability for this!"

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 1:23 AM

"Yes you are. I'm putting this on your phone tab." 

At least the car is still turning on. Time to get you home in a very relaxed and non-accent-risky manner.

Mikky the gay shark (05/JH/CD)Today at 1:23 AM

JH==> Attempt to chase the car once you heard the breaks but to no avail. No more flare charges anyway.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 1:17 AM

Jay nods to Clover quick and from the roof back to the scene. She dips quickly into the crowd and circles around, scenting for Doze, her ears pinned flat and tail poofed up with worry. Jay sees the tint Doze explained and pushes through the crowd, looking from the scene to the tent.

She reaches it and dips in, and spins to look for Doze, her chest heaving with quick breaths. Her cold expression not showing the panic she felt inside. "Doze? Come on we have to get the fuck outta this joint."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 1:19 AM

Your name is Doze and you're just chillin in a booth a bit away but still close enough to hear the pandemonium. You got your bubble pipe and are looking at some badass woodworking stuff. Kind of cool. Gotta appreciate the arts really. 

You turn to Jay. "Oh hey checkout this baddass lil thingie. Got like tiny lil sharks etched on it. Think it'd make a good gift for Trace?" 

 Meanwhile you, Pembrooke Ingleton are on the radio.  There are some orders to pursue suspected targets as well as to get an ambulence out pronto.  Other than that, you're trying to keep the crowds calm and back and give Slick space.  Never entirely sure if that one will suddenly lash out at the nearest crowd or person.    Also not sure how he's going to react to medical personal wanting to take Droog to the hospital but that's a problem for future Pembrooke.

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 1:21 AM

You go back to the booth with the henna just in time to see the Felt, Doze you think, with Jay. And you freeze for a moment, shocked that she knows him. You stare and you realize that she doesn't just know him; she's with him. She's with the Felt.

You don't know why that hurts your very being.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 1:25 AM

Jay presses her nose between her thumb and forefinger and huff out a laugh while shaking her head. "God you are so fucking funky. Can't help but love that about ya." She taps the baddass lil thingie and lifts her hand with a flick, teleporting it close to where she teleported Clover to. "Okay it's home, and it's loud out there. Let's dip, and laugh about someone loosing and entire fucking arm." She holds out her hand for Doze to take. 

The fur on the back of her neck raise up and she looks over her shoulder and, her ears slowly droop as she stares directly into Jade's eyes. Jay's cold determination falters and for a second Jade can see the sadness, panic, and worry in her eyes. She shakes her head slowly and reaches more earnestly towards Doze.

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 1:27 AM

You step back in shock. She's Felt she was this whole time. And then you feel anger; anger at her, at that bitch cat and all of the fucking green bastards. You step towards them, towards her, but you have a feeling you won't be able to reach her this time

Lissa (Paint/Feferi/Kanaya)Today at 1:29 AM

You name is Kayana Maryam Spektor, and you are NOT calm. You are looking for the center of the chaos in search of your father who you've learn has lost one of his arms. You push and shove your way through people not caring if you knock them down.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 1:31 AM

You, Doze, smile at Jay and hold out your hand but then turn to see what the sudden agitation in the air was. Turning around, you see oh...its the one gal you did henna for.   "Oh! Heya there.  Check out this badass woodwork thing this one booth was doin."  You give a wide smile completely missing the point.

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 1:32 AM

Uh oh here comes a special boy!! Here he comes!  If ever there was a juggernaut made alive, it would be the steamroller that is trying his best not to bowl over the crowd while he linebackers his way through to the coordinates Jude gave.  The commotion is easy to follow, growing thicker as you get closer--and also harder to get through.

It's then that you end up almost running into the car, or the car running into you.  It's hard to tell which it is because you're JAYWALKING/running across the street to get to the location without looking for traffic, and so the car that's just started up and is burning rubber trying to accelerate.  The front bumper thuds into your hip and thigh and you skid just a tiny bit--but you also might have dented the bumper yourself, or at least the hood of the car when you slam a hand onto it to brace yourself from falling over.  Point being you hiss and yell more in surprise than pain--though your hip IS in a lot of pain--and you're scratching the front of the car while glaring absolute fury at the driver-- 

Oh. Oh.  Perfect timing.  You lock eyes with one of the Felt sharks--the orange one driving, and bare your teeth at him.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 1:36 AM

Jay freezes and whispers, "Doze, not now!" She grabs his hand, pushing him behind her and full blown growls. Tail lashing and ears pinned as she faces Jade, little bits of green bolts spiking across her body as she bristles up. She crouches and readies her hands for combat, "Walk away, Jade. Now." Her tail slowly but surely curls around Doze's waist, Jay didn't want confrontation but if Jade rushed her she was ready to get her and Doze out of there.

Lissa (Paint/Feferi/Kanaya)Today at 1:39 AM

Kanaya finally spies her Uncle Slick and... Oh no... Her father with blood leaching from his empty shoulder. "UNCLE SLICK!" you call out to him shoving people out of your way with greater ferocity.

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 1:42 AM

You glares at her; as if she has the audacity to tell you what to do?! "I want answers Jay!" You snarl back, not bothered by her light show, not slowing her step. "You're Felt; was this planned?! Was this all a fucking lie?! A ploy!?" You're not sure if you're more angry over Droog or angry at this feeling of betrayal. "Why'd she do it Jay?? Why cause an escalation now?"

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 1:42 AM

You hear Kanaya. Your gaze snaps to her and you hold Droog closer, halfway shielding his cauterized wound from her sight. "Go home," you order, leaving no room for question, "and tell the Crew. The Felt attacked us and we're going to--"

There are cops here, Spades. One is standing right beside you. The inspector. The one who had been poking around in your territory. You narrow your gaze, glaring at him. You'll deal with him later. 

"We're going to regroup," you say, "Get out of here."

Lissa (Paint/Feferi/Kanaya)Today at 1:46 AM

Kanaya's face is conflicted for a moment, but finally she nods and turns to go tears in her eyes but not falling. There's few people you would trust to make sure your father would be okay. You boss and father's matesprit is one of them. You follow the order and vanish into the crowds as you head home. You hoped you'd be able to convince your uncle to let you in on making this felt bitch pay.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 1:47 AM

Pembrooke looks up, and puts two and two together. Right, Droog's daughter.  He lets her pass into the area unheeded as the ambulence siren begins to get louder. 

You frown, knowing well that tone of whisper,  and you see the glare....meeting it back with a narrow squint of your own before you finally get the nerve to speak aloud.  "There is an ambulence on its way to take Mister Spektor to the hospital. You are welcome to join him of course."  You were going to extend the offer to his daughter but apparently she walks faster than your mun types. >:U

Meanwhile Doze tilts his head, a moment of confusion then well...more confusion. Ok this isn't about woodworking. Hooboy. 

"Iffn this is about all the hootinenenery happening right now gotta say that there was no grandscheming on this one tho prolly not gonna believe that.  Just as surprised as everyone else I just wanted to get my gift shoppin done like fuck now its a pain in the ass."

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 1:50 AM

That's okay because you weren't going to let her. You hold Droog tight, keeping your gaze locked on the Inspector. The sound of sirens gives you fucking anxiety. But this is one of the very very few situations you'll allow one of your own to enter a hospital. You'll just have to be sure to pay off every fucking doctor and nurse and janitor you see to make sure you don't leave Droog's side and that he's receiving the best possible care.

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 1:52 AM

Jay knows she should probably just.. teleport away but. She stands up ears shoved forward and her expression cold and empty, "You think it was planned for me to be here? To have been left by my family and for me to got all happy daisy to the Felt? Sweet heart, nothing is planned. It just happens." She turns slightly, not looking away from Jade, "Doze can you please grab on to me? Anywhere is fine right now." 

Jay's ears flick and she huffs at Jade, "I never lied, you just never asked. As for what cat babe did? Not part of the plan but man..." She leans forward, snarling, "was it good."

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 1:54 AM

Because the mun has no reading comprehension skills and  is now revising actions, Equius continues from the incident with the car, having left a dent and a hook man car door claw marks down the side of it, and the car giving him a nasty bruise, but otherwise everyone is unscathed.

He favors his right hip a bit as he trots up to Pembrooke, breathing a little heavily and holding up the roll of police tape you have handy.

"Sir--brought this--Jude said it would come in handy."  You huff and shake out your leg a little bit, starting to get on the task of keeping people back and setting up a perimeter.

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 2:01 AM

You know it's just angry speaking; you know you should step back, take a breath. You're better than this and you know that in a way, Jay's right. What time they spent together, that couldn't have been a ploy it was far too genuine. You don't really understand what she means by a family leaving her, but you do understand what she says about the aftermath and you see Red 

 Before you've realized, you're already swinging a punch at her

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 2:05 AM

Pembrooke nods at Equius.  "Set up a perimeter. Start taking witness reports."  You notice the shattered bits of porceline.  "Find out which booth that came from and get their report in particular. I want to know exactly every word and detail that led up to this down to how many times they blinked." 

A few tents away Doze sets the woodwork down cause he aint a thief dangit, and rests his hands on Jay's shoulder.  "Sorry yo. Gotta go."

Plush (Jadesprite[Jay])Today at 2:08 AM

Jay grins at Jade, all of her malice and mockery going into that one good last look and just as Jade's fist is about to connect with her face... a flash of green goes through the tent and she is gone from Jade's sight and into the main entrance of the Felt manor. Jay sighs and pats Doze on the head, "I could of taken that other wood piece with us too if you wanted." She points to the shark one she teleported in before the commotion, "Least I got that one. Now pardon me, I need to go find some damn ibuprofen."

Shadow <3 (Jade)Today at 2:11 AM

She's gone before you can wipe that smug fucking look from her face and you're shocked and angry. But then, you feel... upset. Not that you missed, but that you tried to punch her. God what is wrong with you?! She's the enemy now; she has to get past this! You're not going to let this make you a liability. 

But, this shows that she's not just a furry for show. Maybe Scratch worked on her like he did Sock, except she was clearly more successful. 

....time to get out here too.

EJ (GHB)Today at 2:15 AM

You're the Grand Motherfucking Highblood---And you've been alerted to a commotion by Azzie. You smell blood on the air and normally it'd fill you with Glee. 

But that blood is your Moirail's blood. The motherfucker you'd slaughter leigions for. 

Your calm and gentle demeanor evaporates in a second as a wave of Terror washes over the crowd, forcing them apart as you Roar and Snarl, charging on all fours in the direction of your Moirail's scent. 

...You're going to Kill whoever did this.

Without question. You will find them.

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 2:17 AM

He nods, immediately finishing with the perimeter first and wedging himself between the scene and various citizens, politely but forcefully scooching them back.

Before he gets to the witness accounts, he sidles back up to Pembrooke, voice lowered a bit quieter.  "Also uh, I was told to give this to you."  He passes the kiwi very sneakily like contraband, and nods solemnly, getting back to work.

He sets up some markers around the porcelain shards, voice raising up to tell people to form orderly lines and wait for questioning--before you feel a rush of nauseated horror and acrid fear that could mean only one thing.  You might be less susceptible to mental influences than lower blood castes, but you still freeze on the spot, getting OUT OF THE WAY when you see highblood frenzy coming towards the scene, grabbing Pembrooke's arm on instinct and pulling him behind you.  Just in case.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 2:22 AM

Your business stern faced demeanor is temporarily shattered as you hold in your hand the blessed kiwi at long last.  It is softer and more perfect than you imagined.  But then you clear your throat and return to professional mode.  Just in time for you to be pulled behind Officer Zahhak as you hear the crowds start to stir. 

Craning your neck, you see the flash of black and purple as you inwardly brace for probably another one of the Crew's confidants to bust their way onto the crime scene like an emotional trainwreck.

EJ (GHB)Today at 2:32 AM

Not emotional. Angry. Very, Very Angry. Roars and snarls fill the air as the crowds part as he darts past the Blueblood and the Capricians. They don't matter. Finding his mate matters. 

He sees the blood...so much blood. Splashes of Olive.....

Slick is scented, acknowledged, but he's snuffling intently at his moirail, Snarling at anyone who dares approach. 

His common tongue doesn't even sound right, tinged heavily with Alternian, rearing up on his legs to his full height, eyes locking on the blooblood. "Who." This is not a request. It is a command. The leader of the Mirthful is asking a motherfucking question and he Best Motherfucking Answer.

jailed rooty (03/Dave/MK)Today at 2:35 AM

Oh shit. Lookit that. Kingpin was still watching the scene with delight. And just as the White Queen's awful attempts at mind- pardon, emotional control crawls past you, you feel another emotion wash over you that is sending a shiver down your back. 

Fear. 

One of the few times you truly felt that, if not the first. And boy, that was. Fucking. Thrilling. The source of that wave was hard to miss. A giant troll. One of them purple bloods. Kingpin had heard stories, but he had yet to see them in action himself. A thing he may get to change soon, perhaps.

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 2:41 AM

He still has one hand gripped on Pembrooke's upper arm as he keeps him behind--he did not want one of his new bosses in the crossfire of the most reveared and infamous of their people, something that rivaled the title of the Condesce, though no one would state as much out loud.

His posture goes to military attention, expression sobered up.  His one consolation is that at least the force of that anger, that rage, isn't directed towards him individually.  Still, he's afraid.  Afraid for Nepeta, and afraid with the waves of empathetic terror that roll out from Baron like a swelling tide.

"Felt," he says with a low rasp, meeting Baron's eyes and ducking his chin a little.  "It was Felt.  I just arrived on the scene, but--"  He shifts a little, letting go of Pembrooke because he is the commanding officer who can speak on the situation, giving a pleading look to Baron to be dismissed from answering questions that he had no right to answer.

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 2:45 AM

You feel a sense of relief, although very slight, at the sight of Droog's moirail. You meet Sam with a soft headbump, hands full with Droog. You're lifting him up, preparing to carry him to the ambulance. "It was that cat bitch," you growl, "Nepeta. She's holed up with her posse by now." 

You lean close to Sam, muttering quiet enough for only him to hear you, "I want to dismantle them, Sam. We need to plan carefully. But if there are any of those green fucks or their associates running around, I want them taken care of. We're going to send a message. Understand?"

EJ (GHB)Today at 2:53 AM

...You needed that. You needed something to ground you, though tenuously. Your hand shakingly passes over Droog's lack of arm, wiping the blood over your face like the warpaint that's always present on it. 

The Blueblood is released with a wave. "ZAhhAk. DIssMiSSEd." 

There's clicks and whirrs that meet Slick's order, your voice thickly affirming. Your voice is neigh a whisper. "I'll bring their heads." Fuck I don't know how do italics but pretend with me people. Power Of Imagination. You're following to the Ambulance without a second glance to anyone in the crowd. You could care less. 

Greens will. Die.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 2:58 AM

You stand silent, observing all of this. There is a lot that you're starting to discover and none of it is good.  Firstly that the Baron is far closer to Crew than you imagined and the sudden worry for your morail is bubbling up because you are pretty certain he is good friends with the Baron?? 

But there is also the detail of interractions and for somene to be able to call rank and authority to one of your officers is...also not the most ideal of things.  But something to be filed for later.

You watch the hushed whispers, no idea what is being said but you can likely guess.  This was not something the Crew was going to just take idly.  Just a matter of if their counter will be immediate or longterm.  You then watch Droog get loaded into the ambulence, waiting to see who goes and who stays behind.  Thankfully at this point he crowd has begun to scatter and disperse.

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 3:04 AM

He feels a chill like ice dumped down his back for a whole other kind of dread now.  Baron might have let him go but his gut twists, because he... he doesn't work for Baron.  He doesn't.  He can barely relax even as he steps to the side from around Pembrooke, but he can't... he can't really meet his eyes right now for fear of actual distrust in them. One ear twitches, your considerable hearing picking up the low murmuring between Slick and Baron.  You don't hear what's said.  But he does hear the tone of voices and it's nothing but the promise of violence.

"...Permission to continue questioning, sir," he says to Pembrooke, eyes flicking up and then away again, hands clenching kind of uselessly at his sides.  Then, because he can't leave any stone unturned or irresponsible.  "....I'm sorry.  It... it won't happen again.  I was caught off guard."

Bunny (SS/07)Today at 3:06 AM

You hop into the ambulance. And just as cover, you call to Sam, "Get straight home and keep an eye on everyone. I don't want anyone else getting hurt, got it?"

WINK

You don't actually wink because that would be obvious as fuck but the sentiment is there. Also, with one eye, winking is extremely difficult. 

You try to relax enough to not lash out as the first responders get to work on your matesprit.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 3:11 AM

"Permission granted." You simply state with a nod as you watch the ambulance doors close and start to pull out.  At this point, Slick and Droog were now the least of your worries other than the possibility of Slick just making everyone's lives miserable at the hospital.   You pull out your pen and begin to assist taking witness reports and gathering evidence. 

There will be times for talk later, but now that the action was fading you had a job of trying to get as many witnesses still about as you can before they filter away.

Quinn (Equius 🐎)Today at 3:21 AM

You give a short nod, going back off to round people up, focusing mainly on organizing them into categories of relevance.  After examination of the porcelain pieces again, you scout out the nearby booths--and sure enough, you find the most likely one, artisan crafts and all that.  It doesn't take much convincing to get the stand owner to come with you to the priority list of witnesses, her eyes cagey and wary after the whole trainwreck.

"This one saw them come into first contact," you murmur to Pembrooke, directing the woman to stay with the inspector.  "Would you like me to take her to the station."  To make sure she doesn't get cold feet and decide to stay out of mob crossfire.

EJ (GHB)Today at 3:23 AM

You understand the Wink with the intent for murder burning in your heart. Your grin in response is sharp and dangerous as you sniff the air, scenting for the Green Bitch before starting to move off to another direction. The police can think what they want, there's no concrete proof. 

 Clowns can be deceptively quiet as they're slinking out of the eye of attention.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 3:28 AM

"I doubt it will be necessary.  It's just a simple eye-witness of the events.  Much like everyone else is giving."  You say that aloud, as you hope such statements will set her on ease in case she is worried that she may end up in the middle.   "I'd say take some forensic samples, get some photo of the scene Officer Zahhak."  you gesture to the olive and red blood as well as the various fragments of porcelien.

You set to task of questioning...hopeful that the other officers off scene are faring better.

[dozenuts]

Character rundown and current opinions of his fellow Felt. (Cause everyone is doing it and I want to re-write mine for more details)

Doze is a man who has very few fucks to give about anything and everything. On one hand that makes him a very easygoing and mellow individual who has a hard time really holding a serious grudge.  But the inverse of that coin-flip is its hard for him to really have any deep attachments and not much in the way of sympathy or empathy.    It doesn’t help that his memory is terrible and he deliberately ignores or forgets things that are too much a hassle to remember.  While he can dredge memories out of the abyss of his mind...he usually doesn’t bother because it’s tiring and never worth the result. He runs a tattoo parlor which is his personal project turned hobby, though he is a master of forgery and really good at torturing someone and keeping them alive for far longer than they ever wanted to be.  Besides being one of the grunts in the Felt, he oversees the black market meat markets because some folks have some “exotic” tastes in this city.  He himself is a cannibal. Crude and vulgar, he says whatever it is that comes to his mind in a stream of consciousness because he doesn’t take the energy to filter.  He doesn’t have any regrets and any he may have had he is quick to forget about them.  Likes to use his slowing powers to steady his hands but also to ignore long conversations he finds boring.  He’s a bit of a shit stirrer and button pusher...but less out of any grand machinations so much a “oh hey a shiny button to push”.  A bit of a nihilist, he has accepted his status in the lowest ranks of the Felt but also figures if LE and the Felt don’t win then he’s going to be dead anyways so win-win either way for him. Opinions about the other Felt as of this time:  0: Takes steps and measures to tighten up his act and tone down his language around Scratch. In his opinion you can either be noticed by Scratch or not...and there is nothing good that comes from being noticed by Scratch. So he keeps to his jobs without question and tries to not make waves. 01: Enjoys Itchy’s company and tomdickery.  Nothing beats wrecking something and then getting souvlaki afterwards as you throw shit into the river.  Has noted Itchy’s tendency to well...be Itchy. But that’s not his problem so fuckit. 02: Fuck this scrub. 03: (I need to RP a bit more with them but so far...) Doze enjoys Trace’s mix of class with crass and appreciates a man who appreciates himself.  Was the one who tattoo’d Trace and enjoys his company. 04: A complicated affection.  In most cases Doze has fond memories of his various gang members but most of it blurs into just a general haze of positives and negatives. With Clover, he puts in effort to remember the actual small details and memories.  While he’s the type to shrug and accept if anything happened to the rest of the gang, if anything was to happen to Clover it would likely be one of the few things to motivate him to actual anger. 05: (I need to RP a bit more with them but so far...)  Doze loves shit-talking and cracking jokes with Fin.  Considers Fin one of the more attractive members of the gang so it almost breaks his heart how little Fin thinks of himself.  Does what he can to prevent Fin from moterboating him because bich thats gay but actually doesn’t care when Fin does succeed. 06: He has a fair amount of respect for Die, and appreciates the taxidermy collection.  The respect though doesn’t stop Doze from being a crude ass thus getting pin jabbed for his impudence.  But he’s long accepted that is who Die is and this is who he is and he’d beat the shit out of anyone who actually disrespects Die 07: -needs more input- 08: A fair amount of respect. Doze doesn’t really see Snowman as a person so much an eldritch abomination. Both terrifyingly alien but otherworldly beautiful.  Both a muse and a nightmare. Like with Scratch he does what he can to tone down his lingo around her.  09: A good doctor, and Doze can’t help but give Stitch kudos for having the steel cajones to say any discontent regarding Scratch’s orders.  He enjoys having laid back conversations with Stitch, but finds the man a bit too quick to act uppity and offended. 10: -whoomst- 11: -WHOOMST- 12: -WHOOOMST??- 13: God bless this cinnamon roll and his oven that makes cinnamon rolls.  Doze is impressed at Biscuits chipper demeanor and innocence. And he likes eating all of Biscuits food.  A+ no complaints 14: -new phone who dis?- 15:  (I have not rp’d much with this Cans to really know) Nepeta:  Doze thinks she’s swell and enjoys eating sushi and laying on floors catching sunbeams with her.  Thinks she’s a badass bitch and is going to go places. Especially since her connections means she still has a small wiggle of freedom unlike the rest of them. Handy: (Have not interracted much with Handy but Doze likely thinks she’s swell) Damara: Pays her royalties for using her likeness in regards to the naked demon troll girl tattoos he designs.  Enjoys her crass demeanor. If she was to crush his dick into stardust with her heel, he would thank her kindly and ask for another. LE: -shrugs- Maybe daddy will one day come back from the cornerstore.  Who the fuck knows. He doesn’t think about it in the meantime. Caliborn:  He only just met Caliborn but so far he digs the angry little peanuts style.