#but I was so bitter then. I can choose to leave or stay but I don't want to live in that bitterness. idek that it was wrong

[asinglesock]

they got me again and they probably can always get me again

[moonydustx]

a/n: just leaving it here

How does it feel?

Part 1 (you're here) - Part 2 - Part 3

warnings: smut, porn with no plot. Law "teaching" F!Reader how to have orgasms. without many warnings to avoid spoilers.

Law x F!Reader

Comments, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

MDNI | MINOR DO NOT INTERACT

Law found it funny how escalating a conversation between his friends - coincidentally also his crewmates - could escalate.

It had started with each person commenting something about the most recent island they had visited, the chat continued until the topic became about Shachi having met a woman, staying with her and she said that she had had the best night of her life and then she charged him for the services. Finally, the subject that had left him uneasy: orgasms.

His uneasiness was directed at you and how you claimed you had never had one. That your previous companions didn't seem too concerned about it and you had never been able to get close to the height of your pleasure not even by yourself. You and Law were nothing more than a few stolen kisses when you were both high or when a certain need struck. You had never gone beyond that, you had never assumed anything either. But Law couldn't get it out of his head.

That was when he convinced you to accompany him to the bedroom and as soon as the door closed behind you, he took your lips in a kiss that, no matter how much you both denied it, was full of feeling on both sides.

"Can I help you with that?" he asked and saw you looked lost. "With the orgasm thing."

"Oh." was the only thing that seemed to come out of your lips. Your mind was going haywire with the information.

"I'll understand if you don't want to. I mean, it's a strange request, isn't it?" Law almost let his nervousness get the better of him. "I just want to make you feel good and I don't intend on actually reaching the end and..."

"Please." the request didn't seem clear to him, so you insisted. "Please give me an orgasm."

A growl escaped Law's lips and he had to control himself. The focus was on you and only your pleasure that night. After you discovered what it was like to actually get there, he would let you choose whether you wanted to continue feeling that way with him.

"Take off your uniform." Law took a few steps back and sat down on the bed.

He watched you take off your outfit and remain in just a thin blouse and panties. A sight that pleased him enough. He leaned against the headboard and tapped the padded spot in front of him and you promptly complied, sitting up and letting his arms wrap around you.

"What do you plan captain?" you turned your face so you could face him.

"First, no captain here." he pointed out. "I plan to teach you how to get there. And then you can do it yourself or teach your future partners." the idea sounded bitter on his lips, but he didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.

"So where do we start?"

"This way."

He gently held your face and started kissing you. Calmly, he felt you snuggle even closer to him. Almost like an authorization for him to sink deeper into your mouth.

While his tongue massaged yours, eliciting small murmurs that vibrated between you, one of his hands kept you trapped in the kiss, cupping your face. The other walked around your body, running down the sides of your skin, down your thighs. You squeezed your legs, trying to find some relief from the heat that was starting to accumulate there.

"A kiss is a good way to start." He pulled away just enough to comment, returning to your lips for a few more seconds. "When it's about you, a kiss is a good thing for any occasion."

"Don't say things like that." you moved away from his lips almost definitively, your head lolling just enough to rest against his chest.

The sight - almost as sinful as his own thoughts - was something to behold. You were there waiting for him to start showing you what pleasure was. One of his hands continued to trace some incoherent patterns on your skin, while the other wandered over your hardened nipple.

"Women are a little different from men in this regard." now avoiding touching your nipple through the thin fabric of the shirt, he just circled the areola. "Some are extremely sensitive at this point, others not so much, for some it also depends on the period of the cycle."

This time, he suddenly ran his thumb firmly over your nipple, your back letting you touch his chest for a brief moment, just to seek more contact.

"I see you fit into the first group."

"And what does that mean?" the question sounded innocent and silly, but it was difficult to think with Law so close to you, where you needed him.

Both of his hands came up enough to remove the straps of your blouse and expose your breasts.

"It means I can have some fun with them." he need to focus this was about you and not him. "So fucking beautiful."

His fingers gently slid over the two highlighted points. First he caressed your nipples gently, testing to see how much more you might want. Seeing you tighten your thighs even more and move a little in search of friction, Law captured both nipples between his fingers, eliciting an intense gasp from you.

Since the position didn't allow him to taste it directly on his lips, he at least tried to simulate the sensation for you. The hands that were previously on your nipples briefly went to his mouth and were bathed in saliva. In a calculated movement, Law placed his wet fingers back on your nipples just as his mouth closed on your neck in a wet kiss. A no longer so shy moan escaped you and made his dick twitch inside the pants he was wearing.

"Law, this...this feels good." your body arched against his fingers.

"I bet I could make you cum with just that." his lips untied themselves from you only to speak softly in your ear. "I will do this next time."

His hands allowed themselves to slide down your body again, now exciting a more breathless version of you. Law took his hands to your bare thighs and after caressing them, he gently opened them, placing them on top of his legs. Even though you were still covered by your panties, you felt exposed.

"Most women don't like to get straight to the point. Teasing can help make things more interesting." His hands ran up your inner thighs, raising goosebumps.

"I don't think provoking is the best option." you tried to sound firm, but your voice came out more breathless than you expected.

"This tells me otherwise." without hesitation, two firm fingers pressed your damp panties. "This pretty pussy is so wet just from me teasing you a little."

"Please Law." you tried to move against his fingers, which were now sliding along the sides of your intimacy.

"Did you know that the labia majora also have nerve endings?" he pointed out, ignoring your plea and letting his fingers slide. "Some stimulus can help."

His movement stopped for a brief moment, so brief that you were unable to ask why he had stopped or to contain your moan when you felt him touch through your panties where you needed it most.

"But they're not as sensitive as this one." Law started to make small circles over where your clit was. When he looked at your face, he could see that you had brought both hands to cover your mouth, your nails digging into your own cheek. "Room. Silence." he saw your eyes look around briefly. "Just let me hear you, please."

As soon as the blue dome formed around you, Law deftly removed your hands from your lips and covered them with his own mouth. His tongue invaded your mouth shamelessly while his movements over the damp fabric of your panties became a little faster. Your hands tried to hold on to him as best you could and even with him kissing you so voraciously, your moans still found space to remain there against his lips. Again, he stopped his movements and moved away from your lips just enough to find your attentive eyes, dilated pupils and reddened lips.

"I'll buy you another one. As many as you want."

Instead of explaining why, you just felt his two hands force the fabric of your panties and it split into some pieces.

The touch of his fingers directly against your little bud could be enough for Law to have his own orgasm there. More exciting than that was just seeing your eyes closing in front of his, a loud moan escaping your lips at such a short distance from him. Heavens, that was a little bit of paradise he thought he'd never taste.

"I need more Law, more please." you turned to him again, but one of your hands remained tied to the back of his neck. "It feels so good, so fucking good."

"Fuck" he murmured against the skin of your neck as his fingers slid easily to your entrance. The warm wetness against his fingers left him on the verge of irrationality. Gently, he slowly penetrated you with his middle finger, your fingers against the back of his neck held tight to Law's dark strands of hair. "That's a good girl, I can feel you squeeze me. Is that what you wanted?"

"D-Don't stop Law, please." you involuntarily moved your hips against the back and forth of his finger, searching for more and more.

"I won't stop, babe, I won't." Law removed his entire finger and added his ring finger, slowly penetrating them again. The way you moved your hips against his fingers - and against his cock behind you - indicated that you wouldn't last long. "You're taking me so good, pussy so fucking tight."

“Law, I just…” as soon as his fingers pressed against your g-spot, a sharp scream left you. A knot beginning to tighten and burn inside you. "Fuck, that's it. I c-can feel something, I think… Law, please."

Seeing you start to lose control of your hips and tighten even more inside your pussy, Law knew he needed little for you to get there - and to be quite honest, he was about to reach an untouched orgasm himself.

"Stop holding back." His voice came out as a whisper at the edge of your ear, using the palm of his hand to stimulate your clitoris, your increasingly intense moans were a melody for him. "I can feel you squeezing me, begging for more. Come on, give it to me, let me feel you come. Just for me, okay? You're going to do this just for me."

"Law!" With one last moan from you, Law could feel you squeeze him hard and the fingers inside you become drenched as your body softened against his arms.

Giving a few more gentle caresses against your intimacy, Law took his hand away from you and had to dare the urge to put his fingers to his own lips. He would have the chance to taste you and when he does, he will taste it straight from the source itself.

Seeing your tired form nestled against his chest, Law let the caresses against your body be softer and without any trace of malice, just as his lips placed some chaste kisses on the top of your head.

"Thanks for trusting me." You smiled at his thanks, taking one of his hands and placing a small kiss on it. "So... how does it feel?"

"It felt so good, I've never felt that before." you adjusted yourself just enough to meet his lips.

"Yes, it was great."

"I'm sorry for not making it up to you." you pointed out and saw a light laugh escape his lips. "What?"

"I feel like a teenager, but..." his gaze directed yours to the wet spot on his light pants. "Feeling you and hearing you was a little too much for me."

You both laughed for a brief moment, enjoying the little bubble of affection that seemed to be surrounding you.

"Law?" his murmur indicated that he was paying attention. "You must be pretty experienced, right? To know all this."

"Not so much." his fingers intertwined with yours. "Part of it I know because I'm a doctor, so it's easier to know how bodies work. And part of it is because I've seen it in some books."

You just nodded and snuggled into him, his fingers were distracted playing with yours. This time, just like you had done, he called your name and you just mumbled back.

"What I said before." it was strange, but Law felt a little shy about bringing the subject on board. "I take back what I said. I wanted this – what you felt today – to happen just to me and not to other partners."

"It's okay. I also want you to be the one to do this to me."

[rukunas]

The classroom feels awfully small.

Gojo Satoru stands far away from you, leaning against the opposing wall stiffly with hands in his pockets. His blindfold is down, a rare frown twisting his lips downwards. His hair is a mess, a clear indication of the utter frustration he’s in. Despite the distance, the tension between the two of you is palpable, suffocating.

He’s absolutely livid.

Deservedly so. You should have listened to him and stayed out of his fight but you didn’t. Now you have to simply stand there like a goddamn Special Grade Sorcerer and take whatever he’s about to throw at you.

Who knew a fight with a low level, shape-shifting curse would cause all of this.

You swallow the knot in your throat, preparing for a half-hearted apology. “I’m so—”

“You—” He straightens himself, finger pointed out in accusation, “—had one job. I asked you to stay out of my way— no, I ordered you to stay out of my way. And what the hell do you do? The absolute fucking opposite. Do you ever think before you act?”

Gojo’s eyes narrow deeper, the sharpness of the glare hitting you right in the chest and making you flinch. Ouch. “What makes you think you can make the rules? Have you forgotten that I outrank you? I—”

“Do not pull rank with me.” You snap. So much for just standing there and taking it. “You know damn well I am just as strong as you are.”

“Special Grace Sorcerer doesn’t mean that you’re the strongest.”

“Oh, you mean like Suguru?” Low blow, but the ripple of emotion against Gojo’s face is satisfying. It’s the same slack look he had twenty minutes earlier, when the curse morphed into the figure of his best friend.

“Don’t say his name. You don’t get to say his name.”

You can’t help the bitter laugh that bursts out of your lips. “You weren’t the only one friends with him, Satoru. And you froze. So, yeah, I’m fucking sorry for fighting your battle for you.”

“You were reckless and out of line.” His voice stays level, refusal of letting his anger get the best of him. The throbbing vein in his forehead says otherwise. “I have to pull rank if you choose to act like one of my students.”

Rage makes the vessels of your face pop. You try opening your mouth but nothing comes out, your face is too hot, too hurt.

Satoru keeps going. “I fight alone. This was my battle, and you are too stubborn to understand that. So why don’t you focus on your own missions so I can do mine?”

“Fine.” You shake your head before turning to leave. “Fight alone, stand alone, be fucking alone. My fault for thinking that you might not like to be by yourself all the time.”

You walk out the room, the thump of your own heart loud in your ears, leaving Satoru alone with his own shadow.

[llamagoddessofficial]

For the bad Sanses, if their SO would want to grow old and die, would they respect that?

Agh... well. Short answer? No. Long answer? No, absolutely not.

Horror, I think, would come the closest to actually respecting your decision. He has Papyrus to support him so he wouldn't have to go through it completely alone. He's experienced a lot of loss, and he knows the pain of seeing people you love hang around long after they should've gone, deteriorating into someone you hardly recognise. But also... he's just really not in the right frame of mind to let you go. Horror does not love in halves and the thought of losing you is like a point-blank shot to the Soul. If you bring it up, best reaction you'll get is him being confused and then pretending you didn't even talk about it, and the worst is a full smashing-things-flipping-tables-throwing-chairs meltdown. You might get a better response from Papyrus. He'll try to mediate. Perhaps give it a few years, once he's had time to ease.

If you press Dust about it, he will give you an ultimatum. If you really, really want to grow old and die, the relationship is over. You can die, if you like. But don't expect him to watch. He knows that when you go, part of him goes too, and at least this way his time feeling warm and whole again ends on his terms. He can sink back into the dark by choice. You get your wish, but you'll never see him again. He'll be pretty sour grapes about it (and about you) if you do end up choosing to die. As far as he's concerned you chose your mortality over him. He doesn't respect it or understand why. He feels abandoned and betrayed... and he refuses to reminisce positively on something that hurts so much to think about. Someone bringing up your name is enough to start a brawl.

Killer doesn't understand. You want to die? You want to leave him behind? You want him to be alone again - how could you say that? You don't mean that. If you hold your ground and tell him you really mean it, he'll tell you he's fine with it, but he's a bald-faced liar. Whilst Dust is bitter, Killer is shattered; he really thought he found someone who would stay by his side no matter what. The rug has gone out from under him. Now he's facing the prospect of being utterly alone again, surrounded only by the voices that still taunt him even now. He fully retreats into his own head... he acts like he's silly and fine, but his Soul has never been more red. You'll never see his white eyelights again.

Nightmare... uh, no. Sorry. He laughs it off like you're a kid telling him you want to eat a billion cookies. He thinks he knows better than you, in this regard, you don't really want to die, you'll understand in a few hundred years. He's a reasonable lover in most aspects but this is one of few things he doesn't budge on. Part and parcel of being a God's beloved, I'm afraid. D'aw, you want to grow old and die? Sure he'll let you. Aren't you cute. Just don't pay attention to how wrinkles never form on your skin. I'm sure it's nothing.

[distort-opia]

There's so much that's insane about the scene in First Class where Charles is waiting for Erik, knowing he'd stolen the CIA files and was planning to run away. But upon rewatch what's getting me is realizing that in so many ways... in it, Charles is doing the same thing he did with Raven. As a child.

He catches her stealing, but realizes she's like him. And essentially, the next thing he does is provide. He tells her she can take the food, that she never has to steal again, because he'll give her what she needs. And in return she stays, in return Charles isn't alone in being different.

With Erik, it's even more intense, but it's the same. Charles believes that if he can provide, then people will stay. After saving Erik from drowning, Charles deep down thinks he's already owed staying. He tells Erik that he can help, and scoffs at Erik when he rebukes it. "Don't kid yourself. You needed my help last night. It's not just me you're walking away from," is a pretty crazy thing to say to a guy you literally just met, and with such bitterness. Then he empasizes how he could force Erik to stay, but won't... because "Shaw's got friends, you could do with some." It's once again a play on what advantage staying could give Erik.

Which is why Charles holding Shaw still, suffering through all that horrible pain, makes me want to chew glass. Charles had more than one option, if he didn't want to let things unfold the way they did. I always did wonder-- couldn't he have controlled Shaw so that he knocked Erik out, and then put him to sleep? Control Shaw's powers through Shaw? Put Shaw to sleep, period, and then never suffer what came after? But no, Charles literally chooses to serve Shaw to Erik on a platter, all while Erik's counting down. His revenge, the thing he wanted the most, frozen in place and aware as he died slowly.

But Erik doesn't stop at Shaw, doesn't change his way of thinking, doesn't choose Charles' path. All that Charles gave wasn't enough-- not for him, and not for Raven, who ultimately leaves him too.

[just-trying-to-fangirl-in-peace]

Choice (Halbrand x fem!Elf!reader)

-> in which you try to persuade Halbrand to follow you to the Southlands, regardless of his past

Warnings: surprise kiss, heavy make-out, implied smut (in a public place)

You don’t even receive a greeting. Before he even turns to face you, the first words out of Halbrand’s mouth are:

“Has she sent you to persuade me?”

He sounds bitter, and you don’t fault him after Galadriel had promised his service to the Queen of Númenor without his consent. She thought it might coax him into following her to the Southlands, but all it had done was earn her his supposed king’s sigil, unceremoniously dumped into her hand as he told her to find someone else. Now, that pouch rests in your hand, but it wasn’t what drove you to come find him in the smithy.

“She meant to persuade you herself,” you tell him. “I pointed out that what she had to say would most likely not be well received.”

Halbrand gives a mirthless chuckle. “In that, you were correct.” He finally looks up from the table of daggers he has forged, and fixes you with a displeased gaze. “Yet here you stand, prepared to speak in her name.”

“Not in her name.”

“Why did you seek me out, then?”

There’s a challenge in his voice, and any other time you would gladly take it up. But, however much you might enjoy it, there had been enough playful banter between you. Now is the time for honesty, even if it doesn’t come easily.

“Galadriel is a dear friend of mine. I trust her. However, I... do not always agree with her.” That confession seems to spark his interest, if only a little. He raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to go on speaking. “She has convinced herself that you are the lost king of the Southlands. And, once a thought has entered her mind, well... it isn’t easily dislodged.”

“She has ‘convinced herself’?” he repeats pointedly. “So, you believe me when I say that,” he points to the pouch in your hand, “was never mine?”

“I believe...” With a sigh, you set the pouch down on the table, leaving it behind as you step closer to Halbrand and hold his gaze. “It doesn’t really matter what I believe. It doesn’t matter who you were. Only who you choose to be. The path ahead of you. And the one behind you, whatever it held, it has put you in a position where you can reclaim what was once yours and put an end to the suffering of so many.”

He eyes you with a mix of intrigue and disbelief, crossing his arms over chest and moving closer to you himself. “You would have me lie to the Númeóreans and Southlanders alike? Claim a crown that is not my own? I did not take you for such a deceiver.”

“I would not have you do anything,” you counter, undeterred by his skepticism. “You are your own person. But I would hope to see you lead. Inspire. Unite. Not because of your blood, but because... Because I can see that you have the makings for it. Because, even if the sea didn’t put a born king in our path, it certainly revealed to us one who can become it.”

Something shifts in his gaze. You think there is some sort of hope in it, mingled with sorrow, but you can’t quite read it. As long moments pass without a response from him, you begin to feel discouraged, thinking you have overstepped.

“It’s a great deal to ask, I know,” you admit apologetically. “It wasn’t right of Galadriel to deceive you into leaving the island, regardless of her belief. If you truly wish to stay here, I will speak with her and—”

It happens in a flash—one moment you are speaking, the next he has taken your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours. There is a moment of surprise, a small sound that escapes your throat, and then you’re kissing back, matching his urgency.

You hadn’t expected this. You’d felt the tension, the occasional flirtation in the words and looks exchanged between you. You may have denied to Galadriel, but not to yourself that you were beginning to harbour desire for this man you had met at sea. Yet somehow, whether because he wished to stay on the island, or because of your different natures as man and elf, acting on those feelings always seemed out of your reach, and you had put such thoughts aside.

Now, however, all thoughts of restrain are shattered. Under his kiss, demanding and deep, you can’t help but savour his taste, tighten your fists in the fabric of his clothes to pull him closer. He smells of fire and metal and some musky personal essence that captivates your senses, and his stubble is rough against your cheeks in the most delightful way. You’re not sure whether he is the one pushing or you’re the one pulling, but you stumble back until your thighs meet the edge of the worktable. Consumed by desire, you have half a mind to toss aside all the knives laid out there and hoist yourself up onto it—but then he suddenly pulls away, leaving you wanting. The hunger in his gaze scorches you to the bone, but beyond it is a sentiment yet more feral which seems to hold him back.

“You say these things,” he says, breath heavy and voice gruff as if frustrated to the point of rage. “You say I should be king. You return my kiss, you welcome my touch. But if you knew what I did before I ended up on that raft... If you knew how I survived...” His thumb grazes your lip, his eyes dropping to it with a kind of tragic longing. “You would sooner plant a knife in my chest than put a crown upon my head,” he all but whispers, “let alone give yourself to me.”

His touch is gone then, and he pries himself away from you—or rather means to, for you catch his hand at the wrist and keep him still, holding his gaze unwaveringly.

“Do not presume to know my mind, Halbrand,” you say sharply. “I’ve had my fair share of fights. Of deeds I wish I could undo. It’s all ashes in the wind now.” You release his hand, trying to tame the fire he had stoked within your own chest and speak calmly. “If you wish to turn away from me, that is your choice alone. But don’t pretend like I asked it of you. Because I would not.”

For a while, there is only the crackle of the forge to fill the silence. It’s as if both of you are waiting to see which one of you will leave first—if one of you will leave. Your skin still sings where he has touched it. The air feels charged with promises not yet made. But you want to make them. This alliance, this passion—this folly, if that is what it is—you want it regardless.

In the end, it’s Halbrand who breaks the silence. His eyes stray from you to the pouch that is still on the table, and he speaks as though from a distant dream.

“A man once told me that being good is a choice you make every day.”

“So?” you ask, patiently. “What will you choose now?”

He looks back to you then, and it really shouldn’t take so little for your breath to catch in your throat after all your years of living, but he seems to have a talent for it. It’s because of the intent written plainly in his eyes, even before he returns within your closeness and leans in slowly, until his breath falls warmly on your cheek. This time, he makes no further move. It’s as if he offers himself, waiting for you to decide whether you want to take him or not. There’s a vulnerability to it that makes your heart ache.

You allow your lips to ghost over each other, relishing the thrill of anticipation for a moment before you close the remaining distance. This kiss, unlike the first, is gentle and unhurried. You bring your hand to his cheek, fingers sinking in his hair, and he gathers you into his arms as you taste each other at leisure. So content he seems taking his time that it comes as a surprise when, suddenly, he reaches behind you and clears the table of daggers in one fell swoop of the hand. You break the kiss with a gasp when the metal clatters to the floor, earning a short laugh from you that is cut off by the return of his lips on yours. Finally, he lifts you onto the table, hips bracketed by your thighs. His lips stray to your cheek, then wander to your neck, and you moan his name softly as his hips press into yours. It earns you a groan of your name in return, and a gentle nibble of your skin before he lifts his head slightly, cheek pressed to yours.

“You want this,” he murmurs lowly in your ear, “regardless of what came before?”

Eyes shut, you nod without hesitation as you breathe out, “Yes.”

He hums, and plants a short kiss on your lips. You chase his, but he keeps frustratingly out of your reach before lowering his head to kiss the other side of your neck as well.

“Are you certain?” he murmurs against your skin, and you know from his tone and from the slowness of his movements that he means to tease you, to stoke your desire for him even further.

“If you tease me too long, I might change my mind,” you warn, even if your voice is breathy with need.

Halbrand chuckles softly. “Well,” he says, “I would not risk that.”

And he doesn’t. Any more talk of Númenor, or Southlanders, or of anything at all is firmly postponed until morning. For now, he lays you down on the table, and you shed whatever darkness lies in your past the same way you do your garments. And, for better or worse, you choose to become one. If only for now.

Sequel -> Decision

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 10

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.7k

Note : Thank you so much for all the love you all are giving this series! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

“Give me Something I Want”

Wednesday.

In the days that followed Yelena’s ultimatum, Bucky felt a strange, quiet storm churning beneath the life he’d finally allowed himself. 

For the first time in years, he felt a sense of warmth, of peace—something he’d only dreamed about, something that had always felt out of reach. 

He had you. And he could feel the calmness like he hadn't felt before every time you looked at him, every time your hand slipped into his, every time you said his name with a kind of gentle joy he’d thought he’d never deserve.

Even after that little bicker on Monday night, you had found your rhythm again, choosing to trust him instead.

He’d spent so many nights alone, haunted by the weight of his own memories, terrified of what he was capable of, of who he had been. 

But you… you made him feel like he was worth saving. 

But even as he kissed your hair and let himself sink into the couch cushions, he could feel Yelena’s judgement hanging over him like a ghost. The truth clawed at him, the bitter memories whispering reminders of the damage it could do if found out, if you knew the version of him that had once pushed you away, that had built walls so high he didn’t know how to tear them down, could you still look at him with that same kind stare? Would you pull away, realising that you’d only seen a sliver of the man he’d been, that the rest was buried in regrets and choices he wasn’t proud of?

His mind flashed back to that moment with Yelena, her voice leaving him exposed, vulnerable. Her words echoed in his head, haunting him. 

But she didn’t understand— she couldn’t possibly. Because you now looked at him with love and adoration. He wasn’t ready to lose that, to lose you.

Thursday.

The next morning, he found himself watching you as you slept, the barest light tracing your features. His heart twisted in a strange, painful mix of love and fear. 

He would carry the burden of his past alone, if it meant he could keep the life he’d found in you. 

He kissed your forehead, his lips as light as a feather, making a silent promise to himself: he would protect you from the pieces of himself that might hurt you, no matter what it cost him. And if Yelena tried to break that fragile peace, he’d deal with her when the time came. But for now, he’d stay right here, holding onto this one thing that finally felt real.

As he lay beside you, he repeated it in his mind like a vow: She will never know.

Friday.  

The mission briefing room pulsed with red lights and bright screens, though everyone else seemed blind to it. 

Maybe you just weren’t used to it yet.

Around you, the team was busy with logistics, preoccupied with tactical details, terrain-view maps, and contingency plans. 

You felt Bucky shift beside you. He was always a watchful presence beside you, like a human shield. Across the table sat Sam, Clint, and Yelena, their expressions locked in concentration. Bucky, however, had hardly looked up. His gaze remained trained on the table, his fist clenched in a way that made the way that made your heart flip.

Sam lifted his eyes to meet yours. “You’re ready for this,” he said, his tone firm. “Your specialisation on ancient artefacts makes you the only one who can get close enough without setting off every alarm in the place.” He gestured to the screen, where a high-definition image of a weapon gleamed with an eerie allure—a golden blade encrusted in cryptic symbols, the metal gleaming as if alive, exuding a faint glow that seemed neither earthly nor entirely comprehensible to the human mind.

“Our intel says it’s magical,” Sam continued— he had consulted with Strange, and he didn't even seem too sure. “Or at the very least, powerful enough to be a real threat if it falls into the wrong hands. We need you to get in there, identify it, and secure it before anyone else does. Clint and Yelena will be on backup. They’ll be ready to extract you the second something goes wrong.”

You nodded, feeling the familiar buzz of adrenaline flooding your veins— one you couldn't tie to a memory. This was the kind of mission you’d trained for, the kind that made you a candidate for the Avengers in the first place.

Then you felt it—a small but telling movement. Bucky’s hand had moved, his fingers curling tighter into a fist, the hum of machine coiling around his metal arm. A worry flashed in the back of his eyes that held the barely-contained force of a storm. His eyes were locked on the photograph of the weapon, his entire body straightening as if bracing against a blow.

He finally spoke. “No.”

The single word shattered the room. The others fell silent, every gaze snapping toward him, the low hum of conversation extinguished as if a candle had been snuffed out. His tone was final. 

You blinked, thrown off by the bluntness he exuded.

What?

The single word spiked confusion, breaking through your focus. Bucky was rarely vocal when he was around the entire team— but  he was never like this. His expression was hard now, carved with an intensity that seemed almost primal, as though he could see the danger you’d face from a mile away.

Sam’s brows drew together. “What?” he started, his voice calm but tinged with caution. He had the terrain intel for you, every dip of the landscape, But Bucky’s objection was a territory none of them had mapped.

As you looked up, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on you now, as if he were silently urging you to see what he did—to feel the risk that he alone seemed to sense.

His jaw clenched so tight it looked like he might crack a tooth. When he finally met Sam’s demanding stare, there was a flicker of vulnerability, an urgency that softened his hard edges. 

“She’s not ready,” he said, in a rumble so low that a chill ran down your spine. “We haven’t covered everything yet. There’s more we need to work through.”

Clint leaned forward. The look on his face was half a challenge, half a curiosity. “Bucky, you were the first to tell us she’s ahead of schedule. Hand-to-hand, stealth—you said it yourself, she’s exceeded every target.” His voice was level, but a hint of irritation crept up his throat.

Sure, Clint might not have as much of a … hands on approach as Bucky did, but he oversaw your training, too.

And he knew you were ready,

Bucky shook his head. It was his human hand that flexed into a fist this time, the knuckles turning white. 

“I want more time,” he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. “The mission should be postponed. That’s all I’m asking.”

Bucky radiator of the fear he was struggling to mask. 

“I trust your judgement, Bucky,” Sam’s arms crossed over his chest, his brow furrowing. "But she’s proven that she’s capable. She’s kicking my sorry ass week in week out and you know she’s ready.”

“I just want more time,” He repeated in a rasp, his eyes darkening. 

Time. 

That was all he wanted. 

All he ever wanted with you.

More time, to fix every weak spot, to be sure you were shielded against every possible threat. More time to prepare you for the dangers you couldn’t yet see. More time to hold you in his arms before anything— this mission or Yelena— took you away from him.

But time was slipping away. 

Sam looked over at you, assessing, maybe even waiting to see what you thought. You’d been eerily quiet, a mixture of awe and nerves keeping you planted to your chair. This was your first mission briefing after getting back into training, after all. You hadn’t learned the cadence of these discussions yet, hadn’t learned the proper flow of conversation.

“One week wouldn't hurt,” you murmured, your voice steady, though a knot twisted in your chest. 

Bucky’s breath hitched as the words one week left your lips, echoing in his mind like a warning. The phrase cut through him, pulling him back to Yelena’s voice, low and sharp as she’d said it to him just days before: One week, Barnes. You have one week to tell her everything or I will.

He glanced across the table, his eyes landing on Yelena. Her stare was unrelenting, almost predatory. The corners of her mouth quivered in a faint, insincere smile, and her eyes locked onto his with a dark promise, a reminder of the ultimatum she had made—an ultimatum that only had two days left on the clock.

Bucky felt a dread gnawing at him, knowing that both clocks were now ticking down faster than he could stop it.

Sam glanced between the two of you. This time. His eyes were kinder, more understanding.

“Fine,” he conceded. “But only for a week. After that…” He gave a smile that reassured your confidence. “It’s yours.”

Relief surged through Bucky, though he buried it beneath a mask of calm indifference.

As the meeting wrapped up, everyone began to leave the room. As you stood to leave, you caught a look from Yelena, her face shadowed by a faint trace of sadness. She lingered by the door, though she said nothing. 

You looked down, an unexpected pang of guilt tugging at your heartstrings. You assumed that Yelena was disappointed in you, in delaying the mission.

You hadn’t meant to slow anyone down. You had trained relentlessly, preparing for a moment like this, but Bucky’s resistance had meant something to you. 

You had grown to trust him more than anyone in your fragile existence. If he said no, he must’ve had a reason.

—

When you were finally alone with Bucky back at your apartment, a tension thrummed between you. You turned to him, crossing your arms, unable to hold back the frustration and confusion threatening to bubble over. 

“I was ready for that mission,” you said. “I am ready.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. You could see the struggle in his eyes, a potion of protectiveness and love. “It’s… not that simple,” he replied reluctantly. His cheek ones flexed, and for a moment, he looked at you with a vulnerability that made you weak.

“Not that simple?” you echoed, pressing an explanation out of him. “I agreed to a week because you were worried, not because I thought I wasn’t ready. You’re always so… protective, but I need you to trust me.”

He nodded, his human hand reaching out to touch your arm, comforting himself through the contact. His thumb traced gentle circles. “I do,” He hesitated, the admission heavy on his tongue. “I need you here. Just… a little longer.”

The honesty in his words softened your frustration. His hand tightened on you, his voice dropping to a raw, vulnerable whisper. “I can’t lose you. Not again.”

The words hit you hard, and for a moment, you stood there and shared his worries. You lifted a hand to his cheek, feeling the roughness of stubble under your fingers, his eyes flickering closed.

“Bucky,” you whispered, gently pulling him closer. Your arms slid around his neck, and you felt him relax almost instantly. A quiet sigh slipped from his lips as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I’m here,” you murmured, your voice soft as your lips brushed over his cheek. “But sooner or later, you’ll have to let go.”

Bucky’s metal arm slid around your waist, his forehead pressing gently against yours. He held you like he was memorising every detail, the sound of every breath you took. 

Then his mouth found yours in a kiss that carried everything he couldn’t put into words. His hands moved up your back, tracing slow, warm circles that left a trail of heat along your spine. You felt his fingers graze your skin, slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, his touch sending shivers through you as he pulled you closer, pressing you against the marble counter.

Each kiss, each touch, was a confession, an apology, a plea. Still, you felt the distance he kept, a part of himself he still couldn’t share.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested on yours. His breaths were uneven, his gaze heavy-lidded with something that looked awfully a lot like grief. 

“I will,” he promised, his voice growing thin. “I just need more time.”

You nodded, brushing your thumb along his cheek, meeting his gaze with warmth, understanding. “One week,” you whispered back, a soft smile lifting your lips. You leaned in, kissing him again, your touch lingering, giving him the reassurance he so desperately needed

When you said it, your voice was soft, filled with warmth and reassurance. But in his mind, the words twisted, dragging him back to the way Yelena had said them—sharp and unforgiving.

One week.

Your tone was gentle, a promise. Hers had been relentless and ruthless, a threat. He couldn’t shake it, the way she had cut into him, a grim countdown echoing in his mind no matter how hard he tried to focus on you.

You sighed, breathing in his scent, wondering what he was thinking about.

Could you really blame him? Of course he cared. Of course he was worried. 

The last time you’d been sent on a mission, you came back with four years of your life wiped clean, whole chapters of memory erased like pages torn from a book. 

You didn't voice it, but you often found yourself wondering about those lost fragments of your life, the memories that had slipped through your fingers. What were they? Who have you been? 

Bucky had never given you straight answers. All he ever said was that before all this, he was your friend. But there was something in his eyes that suggested more. 

You wondered sometimes,  if the two of you had been more than friends before… Had you been lovers, too, the way you were now?

It was easy to imagine it, the way his body curved so naturally onto yours.

But he wouldn’t tell you, and his reluctance left you with an aching sense of being incomplete. 

Sometimes you wondered if losing all that time hurt him more than it hurt you.

Maybe the thought of reliving them, of watching you live without the memories you both carefully curated together, hurt him too much. 

And even if Bucky were to tell you everything—the names of places you’d been, the details of nights spent together, the whispers you might have shared—it would still be just that: information. Facts without feelings. 

No context behind what you did and why you did it. 

In that moment, his body leaned into yours as if he could delay time, press pause, keep the world at bay for just a little longer. 

But deep down, he knew this was temporary. 

He knew Yelena wouldn’t wait forever. Two days, maybe less, and everything he feared would come crashing in.

Even if he managed to talk her out of it, he had a week until you had to go on the mission.

—

Later that night, Bucky sat in the dim glow of his phone, eyes fixed on the unsent message he’d typed to Yelena.  

Can we talk?

He was planning to convince her, to beg her if he had to, anything to stop her from telling you the truth. At the very least, he wanted her to hold off for a little longer.

He had an excuse now—the mission. The argument was already forming in his head. “She’s going on a mission in a week,” he’d tell her. “Do you really want her distracted with all of this?” 

It was a flimsy shield to hide behind, but maybe it would buy him time. Maybe he could just keep buying time.

Because for you, he’d pay anything.

With a weary sigh, he deleted the message. 

Tomorrow, he thought, I’ll talk to Yelena in person, face to face. Maybe if she saw how much this meant to him, she’d hold her silence a little longer. Maybe she’d understand.

But as Bucky’s screen went dark, your phone buzzed in the other room.

You glanced down at your phone, surprised to see a message from Happy:

Hey! Had my assistant compile all the security footage of you from the last three years at the compound. You’re welcome to come by and watch it whenever you’re ready.

-to be continued…

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[codenamesazanka]

last words

Spinner's name means "someone/something who spins". In the original Japanese, his name is just the romanization of the English word 'spinner' - 「スピナー」 (supinaa).

When characters in the manga define it, they often use 「紡ぐ者」 (tsumugumono) lit. 'a person who spins'. 「紡」 is the key character here, meaning spin, in the way one spins yarn, or spins a story.

Spinner deliberately choose this name because he wanted to 'spin' Stain's dream into reality.

Later, when he abandons following Stain to follow Shigaraki, All For One takes notes of his meaning of his name, to tell him that he'll be helping Shigaraki to 'spin' his goal [into reality]. (Viz translates this as "support Shigaraki Tomura in his crusade and do justice to your name... as one who spins this tale.")

This is appropriate, because during and since the MVA arc, Spinner has been doing everything he can to support Shigaraki's dream of destruction - to achieve their goal of 'that beautiful horizon'. Throughout the third act, Spinner's still trying to spin that dream into being.

And it is their goal - it was Shigaraki who first talked about the 'horizon' in his speech to Ujiko, the speech that affected Spinner so much he started down the path of devotion to Shigaraki; so that Spinner would be the only one out of everyone in the League to see Shigaraki's horizon in Deika (the prettiest thing he has ever seen). Somehow, Shigaraki figures this out, so that much later, when Shigaraki is preparing to decay Mt. Fuji, he dedicates this destruction to Spinner - to "build the horizon... that Spinner's been looking forward to."

But-- Shigaraki fails. Deku stops him, and Shigaraki seemingly dies. He dies without having built that horizon, without having destroying anything.

In Shigaraki's final moments, Deku tells him, "I wanted to stop you. I wanted you to stop yourself. To keep that grief and misery from spreading any further."

In Japanese, when Deku talks about this 'cycle of sadness', he says he wants it to 'stop spinning' - 「紡がれない」 (tsumugarenai). His line uses the same character meaning 'spin' as the one I talked about above - 「紡」

lit. 'so the sadness won't spin'

Shigaraki listens to Deku's words, and after a moment, says to him:

"If Spinner is alive... tell him Shigaraki Tomura fought to destroy to the bitter end."

I thought before and still think it's Shigaraki leaving some words of comfort for Spinner. He failed to destroy everything, failed to succeed in reaching his goal (which is Spinner's goal, because it's Shigaraki's goal, because it's the goal Shigaraki made for the League); but he did try his hardest. He died trying to achieve their horizon, because until the very end, he was keeping their promise as best as he could.

Maybe, it's also: don't worry about the failure; all the way until the end of his life, Shigaraki Tomura got to chase after his dream, their dream.

Maybe even, when taking all of the context from above and putting it into these last words of Shigaraki's: but it's stopped. Thus, Spinner doesn't have to spin for him anymore. The sadness has stopped spinning. Maybe: If Spinner stops on his own, Heroes won't have to stop him. If he's still alive, he can stay alive.

And see, the Shigaraki that says these words is the 'same' Shigaraki as the one in Spinner's memories of the two of them talking about games together. You can tell by the visuals:

In the panel right before Shigaraki tells Deku to deliver a message, the lock of hair on Shigaraki's face falls below his nose; and the locks of hair that frames his face falls below his chin.

But in the panel where he gives those very last words, he's wearing a black shirt. His lock of hair on his face does not reach past his nose. The locks of hair framing his face ends at the level of his mouth.

So this is the Shigaraki from Spinner's memories of them being just two gamers. This is the moment they weren't Villains or boss and subordinate; they were just two guys, close in age, (getting along better than Spinner thought, bonding over games and stuff), being friends.

Shigaraki is giving his last words as Spinner's friend; and they are to tell him, i kept our promise. i chased our dream.

[hawkinsbnbg]

Cat hybrid Steve who was returned to the shelter multiple times because he was too high-maintained.

Since he was a rare breed that would get sick easily when upset, most owners deemed him a burden and returned him after just a few days because they didn’t want to get fined for hybrid neglect by PETH—People for the Ethical Treatment of Hybrids.

Their reason was that they couldn’t afford his expensive diet in the long run or play with him all the time.

What they wouldn’t admit was that Steve didn’t need all those pricey food, toys, or clothes. He just simply asked for their affection, which they were always so stingy with.

On the other hand, they kept demanding things from him, rewarding him when he managed to please them and dropping him at the drop of a hat when he failed or refused to satisfy them.

Gradually, he grew bitter about it. He became moody and withdrawn. Every time there were new customers visiting, he would hide in his room and wouldn’t come out until they left.

Thankfully, Joyce and Hopper didn’t seem to be upset with him for it. They just let him be and treated him like any other hybrids at their shelter.

Meanwhile, their kids—Will, Jonathan, and El—kept hanging out with him and treating him like their equal.

Perhaps, that was a major part of why he agreed to meet Eddie Munson at their insistence.

For all he knew, the man was insanely wealthy and famous for being a rockstar. Could provide him with a comfortable life and attention that he had been craving for.

Steve was suspicious but he still gave Eddie a chance, trusting El’s judgment when she said the man was a genuinely good person.

Then, the first thing Eddie had said to him was, “Pretty one, may I take care of you?”

And Steve was sold.

It wasn’t wise to risk his battered heart again when he had ended up abandoned countless times.

But strangely enough, Eddie’s dimpled smiles and kindness made him want to try, to hope, to be brave once more.

So he had stayed, let Eddie get closer to him as days went by. He tried to be cautious, but Eddie was charming and funny and affectionate.

The man lavished him with gifts, cuddles, and kisses all the time. Giving him things he wanted and was afraid to ask for. Allowing him to sleep on the same bed and never pushing him to do anything he didn’t like.

Spoiling him without limitation, to the point that Steve started blushing and feeling warm in his tummy every time the man touched him.

He didn’t think it would be a problem until he was gathered into Eddie’s lap one day and mewled when the man stroked his back.

“Someone’s feeling happy today, hm?” Eddie smiled softly at him, making his heart flutter and his breath hitch.

Steve nodded shyly, his ears flat on his head in embarrassment while the end of his tail curled itself around Eddie’d wrist like usual.

Maybe that was it.

He was just getting too excited with Eddie being home and nothing else.

But then, he outright moaned and arched his back when Eddie’s hand began moving again.

“Sorry,” Steve bit his lip and intended to stand up, not wanting Eddie to think he was weird.

Except the hand on his waist just tightened further and prevented him from leaving.

“I know it’s not your fault, kitten,” Eddie combed through his hair soothingly. “If you want, I can find a partner for you.”

Steve frowned in confusion before meeting Eddie’s eyes, dark and unreadable for the first time since they met each other.

“… Partner?”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Eddie reassured him with a smile that seemed too forced to be genuine. “You can use the right wing of the house during your heat and I’ll only be a floor away. Your partner will also be hand-picked by me and your doctor so there won’t be any scum– sorry, any troubles that can slip through the crack and cause you harm.”

Steve felt light-headed at the mention of heat. He couldn't believe it would arrive after having been absent for so long.

Why now? Why did it choose to show up now when things were going so well for him? And what did Eddie mean by hand-picking a partner for him?

The mere thought of letting someone who wasn’t Eddie touch him that way was enough to make Steve’s hackles rise.

Then again, he wasn’t human and he knew Eddie wouldn't want him like that despite how affectionate the man was to him.

“What's wrong, baby?” Eddie cradled the side of his face gently when he let out a whine.

“I–” Steve squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his lips start wobbling at the thought of Eddie rejecting him.

It was his fault for forgetting his place and catching feelings for the one man who was out of his reach.

Of course, there was no law against hybrid and human relationships, but they were still frowned upon and their offspring would be listed as hybrids for the rest of their life once they were born.

A disadvantage that most humans would want to avoid. Usually, they used hybrids for their own needs—sex, entertainment, companionship. And rarely would they consider treating their hybrids as the object of their love and bailing their children out of their doomed fate with money.

A lot of money.

Perhaps, Eddie would grant Steve’s wish since the man could afford it. But his hope had been quashed the moment Eddie talked about finding a partner for him.

If that wasn’t a sign for Steve to give up, then he didn’t know what it was.

“It’s nothing,” he smiled and pushed down the urge to cry, he could do that later once Eddie left for work. “Sorry for worrying you, Master. It’s probably an effect of my heat.”

“You sure you don’t have anything to tell me?” Eddie looked into his eyes, searching for something he didn’t know.

Steve took in a deep breath and nodded with as much strength as he could muster up even when it hurt.

“I’m sure.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, the man just grabbed his chin and captured him in a fervent kiss, causing him to gush more slick between his legs.

It wasn’t until he ruined his shorts with how soaked he was did Eddie release him.

“You’re mine, kitten,” Eddie nipped the tip of his ear while cupping him through the damp cotton. “No one’s allowed to touch you like this but me.”

“Only yours, Master,” Steve babbled and undulated his hip to seek more friction from Eddie’s big hand, mewling when Eddie caught his tail and tugged it teasingly. “Only yours.”

“Good boy,” Eddie chuckled before kissing him again and again and again.

In the end, Steve was kept in bed for a whole week even though his heat only lasted three days.

Turned out, Eddie had been the trigger of his heat according to Claudia, much to his embarrassment and Eddie’s amusement.

It wasn’t a surprise when nine months later, Steve gave birth to their twins—Maxine Munson and Joey Munson.

And of course, Eddie had paid a hefty price for their children to not get registered as hybrids.

Not only that, they also ran a lifelong campaign to advocate for hybrids’ rights and betterment, helping them escape from their fate.

It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbow, but with his husband and children by his side, Steve had grown into his own self and achieved as many of his goals as he could until the last day of his life.

And he knew one day, many people like him and Eddie would follow in their footsteps so they could live a life full of love without regrets.

And so he hoped.

[lacybunie]

your sweetheart

“why do you look so scared?”

pairing: afab!reader x leon kennedy

warnings: smut, dark content (not dead dove (i think)), established toxic relationship, degrading, suicidal thoughts, implied forced self-harm, gaslighting, heavy manipulation, possessive behavior, praising, semi-soft sex, pet names, tummy bulge, slight strength kink, unprotected sex, biting, ooc leon, he’s crazy

note: you can use any leon for this!

there’s two sides of being in love: being in love and being loved. you always blushed at the hopeful future that you’ll be with the man of your everlasting dreams. a picture of him in a heart locket, your things in his bathroom drawers, knowing how he likes his coffee, his favorite scents, building a domestic life together. although two other men have ever been with you, you were sure this man was special. since by the second date, you were already planning out a wedding.

but leon couldn’t have been the man of your dreams if he was a nightmare in your life. bitter kisses and rough touches are embroidered into your skin that it’s hard to believe that this is the same man who laughed at all your jokes and fake proposed to you with a candy ring. almost two years of agony-filled tears and broken belongings, yet you can not bring yourself to break away from him. maybe the toxicity is what you like. maybe you’re the reason why he’s yelling at you right now.

“you’ll never find someone better than me.” leon spits, grabbing your face with such anger that he could break your jaw if he really hated you. you peer up at him through glassy eyes, tears dried up, and lips cherry bruised. “there’s nobody else for you.” leon manages to still look so divine when he speaks to you like this, star colored hair covering his sapphire eyes just enough for them to peak through. the warm lighting of the kitchen brings out his soft features that pathetically make you swoon.

“i love you.” you whisper, feeling your heart pounding painfully harder and harder as leon stays silent. his grip on your face leaves as his lips tug into a grin, tongue between his canines. “of course you do.” leon gloats as if he’s won the lottery, intertwining his hand with the handle of the kitchen knife residing in the wooden cube. the food you made for dinner is threatening to come back up when leon waves the knife in front of you. “don’t please.” you plead softly as the blood pumping in your veins becomes ice cold.

“think i’m gonna hurt you?” leon breathes lowly, getting closer to your weak form. your doe eyes take in the way his eyes glimmer with amusement, a smirk finding its home on his lips, he’s clearly basking in this. “no.” you mumble, swallowing dry saliva when the tip of the knife brushes against your neck. you don’t think, you know he would but he chooses not to. “i could kill you.” leon hums, dragging the knife across your forearm before letting it linger on your wrist. his eyes capture yours, a faint flame flickering behind them. free falling down to the concrete pavement would be more peaceful than this.

“you could kill me.” he suggests, forcing the handle of the knife into your hand. you shake your head, stomach eating itself when leon leads your hand to his chest. “you’d like that.” “i wouldn’t.” “don’t fucking lie.” he spews as if you’re the one who said it. lips tremble in frustration as you cannot comprehend what leon is doing, you don’t even know how it all went wrong ten minutes ago. how washing dishes together suddenly became leon degrading you, threatening you. the pitter-patter of rain against the roof is the only thing keeping you from vomiting, and leon yelling at you for doing so.

“would you die for me?” leon questions, closing the gap between you two, the knife quickly withdrawing to your side. the warmth of his body radiates to you, making hell seem cold. your eyebrows knit together at his words, why would he ask that? “i’d do anything for you but-” “i want you to die for me.” leon interrupts you with a exasperated tone. your hands shake as tears welled up in your exhausted eyes, you just want to go to bed. you carefully place the knife on the kitchen island, unsure of what to do as leon’s eyes bore into yours.

“leon, can i please get ready for bed?” you sigh, wiping at the tears barely escaping your eyes. the echo of thunder booms throughout the apartment causing the atmosphere to be more daunting. a scoff leaves leon’s mouth, his jaw tightening at your response. you pissed him off. “hate me so much that you can’t answer a simple question.” leon sneers with venom on his tongue. his stature towers yours, your gut churns at the feeling of being so weak. runny eyes divert down to your ruffled baby pink socks, they’ve never seemed more interesting.

“your question is stupid.” you mutter under your breath before your jaw is gripped once more as leon forces you to look up at him. the blue hues swirling in his eyes are dark and cold, matching the storm outside. bones ache at the posture leon holds you in, he can snap your neck if he pulled back just a tiny bit further. “who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” leon’s words cut through your head and pierce your brain. the tears you cry match the pace of the rain knocking at the windows. “i’m so sorry, leon. i’ll die for you, i’ll do anything for you! please let me go to bed.” you’re so pathetic.

“is that so?” “yes! please!” you cry into his palm, looking up at him and hoping he has mercy on your damaged soul. leon’s eyes glance at the kitchen island as a smirk slowly finds its way on his pink lips. relief hugs you when he finally lets you go, your shaky hands rub the tender skin of your jaw. of course he doesn’t let you leave yet, of course he doesn’t let you go find peace in the one place where you’re the most safe. “carve my name into your wrist.” leon says so nonchalantly that you think he’s almost joking. the kitchen knife is placed back into your hand, you’re so dumbfounded that you stare back at yourself in the blade’s reflection.

“what?” you exhale out, ridding yourself of the fear from seconds ago only to breathe it back in. the blue-black eyes looking back at you are unrecognizable. “i’ll do anything for you!” leon mocks, you want to vomit. you want to scream and rip your hair out, you want to jab the knife into your heart instead. death would be much more blissful than being here right now. “i don’t want to do this, leon.” “i’ll do it for you.” leon threatens, his warm hands grab at your wrist but you quickly step back to get them off you. “i’ll do it.” your voice is barely audible, your mouth becomes dry when you shakily place the blade onto your wrist. what are you doing? “just four letters and you’ll go to bed.”

leon’s educated hands carefully bandage up your wounded wrist. your face rests in his chest, slowly breathing in the scent of vanilla. “you did so great.” leon smiles before placing tender kisses upon the white fabric covering your arm. the numbness drowning your body is blocking any feeling, including your thoughts. you’re surprised you didn’t cut a vein. you wished you did. “you’re so mean to me, leon.” you whisper, eyes blurring in and out from drowsiness. why couldn’t he be nicer to you? why couldn’t he leave you alone? why can’t you quit him?

“i’m not mean to you, doll. i wouldn’t be doing this if i didn’t care about you.” leon reassures you with eyes shining like blue akoya pearls. your mouth can’t get any words out when the cologne lingering on his skin has your stomach in knots, reminding you that you’re the one who bought it for him on his birthday. he gives you the same wry smile that was on his lips that day. maybe you’re the mean one. maybe this is all your fault. “you would’ve killed yourself if it wasn’t for me.” he’s right, you would’ve bled out on the pearlescent tiled kitchen and suffer a painful death if he didn’t care. there’s a sharp pain in your head that has you wondering if this is all just a horrible nightmare.

needles prickle into your sore body as leon carefully picks you up, you catch your reflection in the mirror for a spilt second. eyes puffy and skin pale, drained. before you can react, you’re in sweet relief when the comfort of leon’s bed engulfs you. “such a gorgeous girl, how did i get so lucky?” leon hums as his eyes link with yours, affection glosses over the blue. the dim lighting illuminating this somber room, accompanied by the rain outside, is enough to lure you to sleep. the blur in your eyes goes dark for just a moment as your slumber takes over. yet you can’t seem to rest with the way leon is soothing the skin of your thighs. your cunt is throbbing.

“take it off please.” you whimper, gesturing to the blood stained dress hugging your figure. your body trembles as the cotton fabric is slowly ripped away, leon’s hands tenderly kneading warmth into your cold flesh. dark eyes locked onto your lips with each soft gasp you make, observing how you react to the gentle touches to your thighs. the fuzziness in your stomach heats gradually, just enough for your panties to get damper. leon’s fingers stray away from the thin silk covering where you need him most. your thighs rub together as you whine. “what do you want, hm?” his voice is an octave lower, raspy. he wants you just as much.

the echos of thunder are as loud as your pounding heart when you grasp leon’s hand, leading it to your cunt. a tongue in cheek smirk is hazy in your vision when leon hovers over your frame. “c’mon sweet girl, use your words. don’t get shy now.” his voice is sugary water for your dry throat, the want is burning you alive. lips impatiently connect with his in a desperate attempt for leon to stop stalling and fuck you right there. a gasp is caught in your chest when his fingers harshly rub your covered clit before pulling away from your blushed lips. the thumps of your heart rings in your ears.

“i want you to fuck me.” you mutter with a mouth full of cotton, running a hand over his chest and under his tightly-fitted shirt. the precum sticking to your panties is soaking the fabric as your fingers trace over leon’s toned stomach. “yeah? you’ve been such a good girl for me tonight.” leon smiles while kissing your cheek. his mouth finds solace in your neck, sucking pinks into your skin. “i need you.” the smirk he makes against your neck gives you whiplash. he can probably feel your racing heart pulse against his lips.

leon swiftly takes off his shirt, scattered scars compliment his sculpted build so well that you feel nauseous with desire. “i need you more, baby.” he cooed. his lips find yours again, the taste of mint coats your tongue. you like the way he kisses you, as if your lips are a blaze that he needs to warm up. leon’s hands make quick work of your panties, nudging his knee in between your thighs which has you grinding on his leg. “dirty girl.” he breathes out. the friction is not enough for your soppy cunt, needing more, needing his cock to relieve you. you want him to break you open, to ease the pain he put you through moments ago.

the crackle of lightning illuminates the room in blue, combating the blue in leon’s eyes. hands shake ever so slightly as you impatiently unbuckle his belt, your wrist is on fire when the metal buckle grazes against the bandage. “you’re gonna hurt yourself.” leon warns, replacing your hands with his. you suppress a moan once leon finally rids himself of his jeans, his cock slapping against his abdomen as he shoves his boxers off. you’re salivating like a starved animal at the sight, the tip of his cock shines with precum. death couldn’t be more blissful than leon.

“you look so cute like this, your body begging f’me.” leon smirks, rubbing the tip of his cock on your clit. the moans vibrating through your throat almost hurts. you’re fiending for him, weeping for him, you could cum at the thought of him fucking you. there’s a hand caressing your cheek, breaking you out of your hypnotic state. leon looks at you with infatuation, or lust, you can never differentiate the two. you do know both looks has your heart bursting. “i love you.” “i know.” he kisses the apple of your cheeks as his cock stretches you out, the air in your lungs exits out in broken whimpers and moans.

leon hides his face in the crook of your bruised neck, his hips slowly snapping against yours. fingertips trace the scars etched into his back, creating new ones as your nails break his skin when the curve of his cock hits your cervix so sweetly. the rhythm he keeps up is enough to make you dizzy. the low moans eliciting from his lips are intoxicating, you grow wetter at the sound. “love this tight pussy, so perfect.” his teeth bite into your shoulder, lapping at the irritated skin with his tongue. you think you see god when the repeated thrusts and bites to your skin is twisting the coil in your stomach in knots.

leon’s hands grip your hips as your cunt tightens around his cock, the loudest spark of lightning hits your ears when leon presses a hand down your lower abdomen. you think you’ve lost it at the feeling of leon’s cock rubbing against his hand, against your stomach. your hand reaches down to feel him and god, you want to cum so badly. “harder, please.” you moan out, chest heavy at the feeling of him splitting you open. his head rests up against yours, eyes searching your tear stained face as his thrusts become harsh. a stray tear cascades down your cheek at the sudden change yet you’re still pathetically moaning out leon’s name.

“greedy little thing you are.” leon groans as he catches your lips in a sloppy kiss. you’re sharing moans in between breaths as leon relentlessly buries himself into your cunt, his fingers finding their place on your clit. the smell of sex and mercury blending into the sounds of skin against skin and thunder makes the pounding in your head almost pierce your ears. you feel faint, like the ecstasy you’re receiving is too much for your body. legs wrap around leon’s hips in an attempt to get him closer to you, his chest is sweaty against yours. hearts beating in sync, both racing erratically.

the overwhelming desire flowing throughout your veins is lethal, an overdose of leon. your chest heaves as you try to gather your surroundings as leon fucks you as if you’re everything yet nothing. there’s tears on the brink of pouring out of your itchy eyes but you hold them back. you wonder what leon is thinking, if he’s overdosing on you as well or if he’s thinking about getting off. “fuck, keep squeezing my cock like that.” he moans, biting the flesh of your neck.

the fuzziness in your stomach is too much to bear when leon’s cock abuses your gummy walls repeatedly. you can’t feel your face, your body, just leon. fingers tug at his hair which earns a grunt from his lips as his own fingers messily rub at your clit. the whines drawing out from you are pitiful, letting leon know you’re about to break. but he knew that before the whines left your mouth, the way your desperate cunt is gripping around him is enough to make anybody get the hint. “cum on my cock, sweetheart. can you do that f’me?”

the nails clawing at leon’s back sink into his flesh as your orgasm crashes into your body. mouth agape yet nothing comes out, eyes screwed shut, back arching off the soft mattress, legs shaking at the intensity. “there you go, baby.” leon praises, kissing you gently as he continues to fuck your cunt. you hold his face as if he’s the only thing keeping you from blacking out. “i love you.” you confess for the umpteenth time as you’re gasping for air, heart punching itself out of your chest. leon weakly smiles, muttering something incoherent against your lips before pulling his cock out of your bruised cunt, cumming on your stomach and thighs with the sweetest moan.

leon’s body collapses on top of yours, exhaustion consuming you as you come down from the euphoric high. the sound of leon breathing and the soft knocks of rain at the window are a lullaby for your depleted mind. the colors of warm white and blue are blurred as your eyes struggle to stay open. a sting in your arm pulls you back into consciousness. you wince at the feeling. eyes drift to look over at your bandage wrist. leon’s hand is gripped around your injury, squeezing with such strength that reminds you that he could break you if he really hated you. you almost forgot why there’s four letters carved in your wrist, why your mind is exhausted from crying, why you got fucked so lovingly yet so resentfully.

a giddy smile hurts your cheeks as leon suffocates you with peppered kisses around your face. “let’s get you ready for bed.” leon says on your damp skin, his hand leaving his name on your wrist.

[sur-i-ki]

7/20

Scissors, paper

The moment he tells you, you feel like the floor has fallen out from under you. It's a sinking sensation in your stomach, a heaviness settling in your chest that makes it hard to breathe. You look at him, waiting for him to tell you that it isn’t true, that he didn’t mean it, that he would never choose someone else over you.

But his face says everything you’re afraid to hear.

There’s a tension in the air, thick and pressing. You can feel your heart pounding in your throat as he stares at the ground, refusing to meet your gaze. He’s looking at his hands, clasped tightly in front of him, his knuckles white as if he’s holding on to some invisible thread that’s keeping him from falling apart.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask finally, your voice coming out softer than you intended. You want to sound angry, to make him feel even a fraction of the hurt that’s tearing through you, but all you hear is your own desperation.

He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, like he’s been holding it in for too long. “Because it doesn’t change anything. I didn’t want you to feel… like this.”

“Like what?” The words are sharp now, as they slice through the silence between you. “Like I’m not good enough? Like I was just… convenient for you?”

He flinches, his face contorting with guilt, but he doesn’t argue. And that hurts more than anything else, more than any explanation he could try to give. The truth is there, hanging between you, raw and unspoken.

You stare at him, feeling an ache so deep it feels like it’s carving a hole inside of you. “Tell me,” you say, barely managing to keep your voice steady. “Tell me that I wasn’t your first choice.”

The silence stretches, heavy and suffocating, until finally, he looks up at you, his eyes glassy with something you’re afraid to name. “You weren’t,” he says, barely above a whisper. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t… it doesn’t mean I didn’t fall in love with you.”

The words wash over you, cold and sharp, a twisted comfort that only makes the ache grow stronger. You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You’ve shed enough tears over him already, over this fragile connection you thought was solid, that you thought could hold you both.

“Then why?” Your voice breaks, and you hate yourself for it, but you can’t stop. “Why did you stay with me? Why did you let me think that I was enough?”

He rubs a hand over his face, his shoulders slumping, and you realize he looks as broken as you feel. “Because I didn’t know how to let you go,” he admits, his voice thick with regret. “I thought maybe… maybe I could make it work. Maybe you’d be enough to make me forget.”

“But I wasn’t,” you say, the words bitter on your tongue. “I was never going to be.”

The hurt in his eyes sharpens, and for a moment, you see his own pain, his own helplessness. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean for you to feel like a second choice. I wanted to love you as you deserved.”

The sincerity in his voice cuts through you, leaving you raw and vulnerable, but it’s not enough to heal the wound he’s opened. Because no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how hard he tried, the truth is clear. You were never his first choice, and you never would be.

You swallow hard, the lump in your throat almost unbearable. “Do you even know what it feels like?” you ask, your voice trembling. “To be with someone who can’t give you their whole heart?”

He shakes his head, but you can see the remorse in his eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he says, and his voice is so soft, so pained, that you almost believe him. “I tried to love you completely… I really did.”

“But you couldn’t,” you say, finishing the thought for him. “Because there’s a part of you that still belongs to her, isn’t there?”

His silence is all the answer you need. It’s an emptiness that fills the room, suffocating, a quiet confirmation that cuts deeper than any words could.

You take a shaky breath, your hands balling into fists at your sides. “Do you even understand what it’s like?” you ask, the anger finally breaking free, a wave of hurt and resentment that’s been building up for far too long. “To be someone’s almost, someone’s maybe, but never… never the one?”

He looks at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and for a moment, you think he might say something, that he might offer some comfort, some reassurance that would make this hurt a little less. But he stays silent, his gaze dropping to the floor, and you know that there’s nothing he can say that will change the truth.

“I thought I could be enough,” you whisper, the words more for yourself than for him. “I thought if I just loved you hard enough, it would make up for the parts of you that weren’t mine. But love doesn’t work like that, does it?”

He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out, and the look on his face tells you everything you need to know. He tried. Maybe he wanted to love you as deeply as you loved him. But there’s a difference between wanting and being able to, and you’re realizing now that he was never able to give you everything, no matter how much he wanted to.

The silence stretches between you, heavy and painful, until finally, he speaks, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry,” he says, and there’s a brokenness in his tone that makes you wonder if he’s hurting just as much as you are.

But sorry isn’t enough. Not for this.

You take a step back, your heart aching with every movement, and you watch as his face falls, as he realizes what you’re about to do.

“I can’t keep doing this,” you say, your voice shaking. “I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with being second best. I deserve more than that. I deserve someone who looks at me and doesn’t see a compromise.”

He takes a step toward you, his hand reaching out, but you shake your head, holding up a hand to stop him.

“No,” you say firmly, swallowing the tears threatening to spill. “I love you, but I can’t keep losing pieces of myself just to fit into this space you made for me. I can’t keep being your second choice.”

The finality of your words settles between you, and you see the pain flash in his eyes, the realization that he’s losing you, that he’s already lost you. But he doesn’t try to stop you. He knows, just as well as you do, that there’s no fixing this, that the damage has already been done.

You turn and walk away, each step feeling heavier than the last, until you’re out of sight, and the silence closes in around you. And even though you know you did the right thing, even though you know you deserve better, the emptiness lingers, a hollow ache that will take time to heal.

But for the first time, you know that you’ll find a way to move on, that one day, you’ll find someone who doesn’t just settle for you, but chooses you wholeheartedly. And until then, you’ll hold on to that hope, a small but powerful light in the darkness of this heartbreak.

⇝ 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰n

Finally clearing drafts

[joelmillers-whore]

Hard Light | Chapter Two

chapter one | ao3 | masterlist

series summary: when a new english professor begins teaching your class for the duration of your semester, you can’t help but develop an innocent crush on him. he’s as off-limits as he can be but it doesn’t deter you in the slightest. after a drunk night, you accidentally email him something that wasn’t intended to ever be seen by anyone. but that doesn’t matter. it triggers a misunderstanding that manifests into an affair with your professor who is twenty years your senior. nothing good could come of this, right? 

chapter summary: becoming obsessed with your english professor and imagining what fucking him would be like was never part of the plan. you seem to think about him whenever least convenient and read more into innocent words and touches than you should. but, your infatuation with him comes screeching to a halt when you discover something about him. crush done and over with, right?

pairings: professor!joel x college student!reader

word count: 2.7K

series or one-shot

chapter warnings: 18+ explicit, minors DNI, no mention of Y/N, alternate universe, professor/student relationship, eventual smut, self-esteem issues, workaholic, joel x female!reader, infatuation bordering on obsession (stay delulu friends), some sexual thoughts, masturbation (f), sexualization of the male form, allusions to sexual and explicit scenarios, drinking and glorification of getting drunk

A/N: okay, listen, i won't beat around the bush, i kinda let this series die after like one chapter. my brain works in mysterious ways, as in, i lose interest in stuff quickly, and that includes writing certain fics. that's why i have so many unfinished wips. but, here we go with another chapter of hard light. i re-read this chapter and was suddenly inspired to write for it again. enjoy and don't forget to comment, reblog, and like.

You’d been stuck at the coffee shop for the majority of the day, constantly checking your phone to see if Jeremy had answered you yet. But it didn’t look like he was going to be able to cover your shift. Where the fuck was he? You normally had no problem with covering a Saturday shift but you really needed to leave early, the application for the internship was due soon and you hadn’t started it yet. You flinched, feeling the burn of scolding oat milk drip onto your hand. You shook your hand out, trying to ignore the pulsating emanating from the skin. 

You’d been burned before and worse, but you just wanted to get through this shift. You tipped the ceramic cup and poured the frothed milk into it, moving your wrist in tandem with tipping the cup, trying to quickly do the design that had become second nature to you at this point. Your mouth flattened into a tight line, almost smiling at the student as you handed them their coffee beverage. You were always glad that the coffee shop on campus had only a few options to choose from when it came to coffee orders. And they were all pretty easy to memorize and make. 

Heaven forbid you worked at a Starbucks, where you had to nail down complicated drink combinations and fulfill nauseating orders. Coffee was a sacred thing, at least to you, and it was the perfect concoction of bitter and sweet that had you hooked each time you drank it. People needed way too much sugar to actually enjoy a caffeinated beverage, and there was nothing wrong with that, but it wasn’t something you personally liked. 

You looked up from putting the oat milk back in the fridge when you heard the chime on the door, ready to greet the person who had just entered with a welcoming smile, but that smile flattered when you saw who had just walked in. Your new English professor, the one with the tight ass. You shook your head. Okay, from here on out you were not allowed to think of him that way. He made his way to where you were, an easy pace to his walk. You swallowed as your eyes raked over him. He was wearing brownish-green slacks that seemed to fit him snuggly in places that you couldn’t look away from, and a stylish brown tweed jacket, which stretched across his forearms and chest tightly. 

He gifted you with a smile, his lips perfectly rounded and pink even though they hid underneath a subtle stubble. You opened your mouth to speak but apparently, you had no knowledge of the English language at this current point in time. 

“Could I get a latte?”, Professor Miller asked. 

You had heard him speak in front of nearly a hundred people earlier this week and yet, you were taken completely off guard by the throaty yet softspoken quality of his voice. How soothing and intimate it was when it touched your ears. It made you shiver, imagining how it would sound in the harshness of night when he was on top of you, thrusting slowly, and giving you words of encouragement while you took his thick—

“Yes”, you squawked, stepping back from the counter and burying your head in the coffee machine as you prepared his latte, trying not to let it show how heated your cheeks probably were. 

You heard a low chuckle from him as he paid, turning on his heels and standing in front of you, the bar of the counter the only thing acting as a barrier between the two of you. 

“You’re from my English Lit class, right?”, he asked, his Southern drawl sweeping over your whole body, making your stomach flutter. 

You looked up briefly, not ready to meet his eyes for fear that he could read your thoughts if you let him. You nodded, ducking back down and concentrating. 

“Thought so”. His voice was filled with amusement and something else as you felt the weight of his stare. 

You placed his finished latte on the counter, stuffing your hands into your back pockets as you waited for him to grab it. He took hold of the cup and the saucer but he didn’t move, plastered in place as you locked eyes with him. His pupils were double their original size as he scanned your features, seemingly staring into your soul. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t find the strength. 

His mouth tipped up at the edges, “Since I can get an unbiased opinion from one of my students...”, he paused, thinking about his next words thoughtfully, “How did you find my first day? Been meaning to ask one of you...”. 

You cleared your throat, “I think you did well. If my opinion matters at all”. 

Professor Miller snickered under his breath, nodding, “It does. Thank you for your honesty”, he twisted around but spoke over his shoulder, “I think you’ll find that I have a lot that I can teach you, and I look forward to the rest of the semester”. 

And with that, Joel continued to a table near the back corner of the coffee shop, setting his beverage on the surface and taking out his phone. He didn’t look up at you for the duration of his time, sipping his coffee, head buried in his phone for about an hour before leaving. He gave you a small wave as he left, which made your cheeks flame. 

You really needed to get a grip on yourself and not read more into his words. But you couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything else. I think you’ll find that I have a lot that I can teach you... He meant it in terms of the course, not whatever your idle mind told you it was really about. But you couldn’t help but dig into the double meaning behind those words. You were sure he could teach you a thing or two, he definitely looked like someone who had more experience when it came to sexual things. God, what was wrong with you? Joel— Professor Miller was a nice man, someone you could surely rely on when it came to your studies, you shouldn't be thinking of him that way. 

You were just tired and in need of some sleep. Yeah, that’s why you were letting images best left in the dark corners of your mind float to the forefront. Occupying yourself for the rest of your shift, eventually, Joel and that whole interaction became a distant memory, leaving your mind as fast as it had manifested. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You settled into a lacklustre routine as the week came and went in a flash. You hadn’t had another one-on-one conversation with Professor Miller, much to your relief. You’d been using your job at the coffee shop, studying and catching up on homework, or even spending time out with friends, as a diversion when your mind began to wander back to that man that made your head spin and your every nerve ending light ablaze when his eyes settled on you in class. 

It wasn’t just a one-off coincidence when you felt it the first time, it wasn’t even a coincidence the second time that you’d felt it either. It was becoming something permanently stuck in your head; when you would see him again, and you made a bet with yourself before every class. Would you get that same flutter in your stomach when you saw him standing before the class, back turned to you and that backside calling out to you? And every time, you would win or lose, depending on your outlook that day. You had a monster crush on your English professor and it was becoming a hindrance. 

Each day you’d wonder what he would think of your outfit, because yeah, now you were actually having to think about your appearance, you actually cared. You wanted him to care, to notice, for his heady gaze to bore into you for a little longer than any of the other girls in your class that he looked at. It was maddening, having him on your mind when you were awake and when you were asleep. You’d conjure the dirtiest images of him and you when you were alone at night, not caring in the slightest as you slid a hand into the waistband of your panties, driven to the edge of insanity if you didn’t ease the overwhelming flutters that never seemed to quit. 

You told yourself that what you were doing was innocent, that because Joel was in your proximity, it was only a natural progression that you’d develop something of a crush on him. But what you didn’t account for was how badly you wanted to act on it. How sometimes when you hung around after class, trying to work up the nerve to talk to him, you’d half-expect him to throw you onto his desk and pound into you, roughly, eagerly, your name slipping past his lips as he worshiped your tight cunt. But, he never did. And the more you thought about how much you wanted it, the more it became unrealistic. 

He was your teacher, for fuck’s sake, and you were his student. Nothing would happen and nothing could happen. But at night, when the stillness of the darkness crept in and you were having trouble falling asleep, your mind still strayed to the man old enough to be your father and you’d cum to the thought of him, over and over again, until your sated body and mind lulled to sleep. And then, when your alarm shrieked in the morning and you had to peel yourself from your bed and get ready for the morning, you’d be overcome with shame. Shame and regret. Because you were getting yourself off to the image of a man who probably wanted nothing to do with you, and you felt like a creep. 

You’d go about your day as normally as you could until you saw Joel in class again, and something as innocent as making contact with his hand as he gave you a quiz would ignite those flutters again, making them unquenchable. 

You were currently out with a few friends from your English class, and Jeremy had decided to tag along. The guy was a social butterfly and could fit in with any group easily. It was actually getting on your nerves, how your friends were currently swooning and chatting to him while you just sat there, waiting for them to loop you into the conversation. Jeremy caught your eyes over the shoulder of your friend, Cat, who was shamelessly flirting with him. Not that you minded, it was great that he was looking for someone. You had thought that you’d broken him when you broke up but it must have been all in your head. 

“Let’s dance”, Jeremy said to Cat, taking her hand in his, making her giggle as she stood up from her seat, and letting him guide them to the dance floor. 

You watched as his hands moved down her body, settling on her hips, and swaying them both in time with the slow song that was playing from the jukebox in the corner. Feelings you’d thought you had buried long ago came swelling to the surface, which had nothing to do with Jeremy moving on right before your eyes and everything to do with how lonely you felt. It hadn’t really hit you until this moment, watching two people who you considered friends, getting closer. 

You had a stupid habit of putting your needs on the back burner and suffering because of it. But growing up in a household that would rather see you be quiet than entertain any of your ideas or thoughts or feelings had done a number on you. Instead of seeking out what you wanted, you always held back, afraid of upsetting someone and losing their respect. It was the dumbest hang up but you couldn’t shake it. Even when you were in your twenties, it lingered. The feeling of not being good enough, for anyone. 

You turned around in your seat, giving Jeremy and Cat some privacy, the call of alcohol in whatever form suddenly calling out to you like a siren song. 

“Shots?”, you asked the remainder of your friends, which elicited a resounding and enthusiastic response. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The time was crawling into the early hours and yet you still knocked back shot after shot, not caring much that the bar manager was growing annoyed at you and your still rowdy group of friends, probably seconds away from kicking you all out. Jeremy had brought Cat home hours ago but the rest of you decided that the night was still young, and so were you. 

You’d been dancing for the majority of the night, switching dancing partners as much as you’d switched between different liquors, but you were alone now, moving your hips from side to side as you nursed a drink of some kind, not really knowing what was in it. Your friend, Ayesha came over to you, stumbling and almost knocking into you. 

“Look what I just found”, she slurred, holding her phone near your face. 

You squinted, trying to get the dizziness to subside long enough for you to focus on the image she had pulled up. But it was difficult, you were really drunk. 

“What’s is it?”, you asked, hiccuping loudly. You covered your mouth with your hand. 

“It’s him”, she screeched, jumping up and down, “Professor Miller, I found his Tinder. God, he looks yummy”. 

Your heart sank to the dark and twisted pit in your stomach and you felt like retching right then and there. But, it was inevitable, for the spell to break, it was only a matter of time. Fuck. You rubbed at your eyes, hoping that this was all a dream. Just a really demented trick that your mind was playing on you. But when you removed your hands from your face and everything around you came back into view, you knew it was reality. Because of course a man like Joel Miller, the rugged yet charming English professor from Austin, Texas would have a dating profile. He was surely dating people and having sex. Lots and lots of sex with women his own age, not with his students. 

You took a step back from your friend and uttered something about feeling sick and wanting to go home. They offered to Uber back to your apartment with you but you made up some excuse about it being dirty, so you didn’t want them to see it like that. A short Uber ride and you were sinking down against your front door, running your hands through your hair, and smacking your head back in frustration. You were an idiot, and right now, you were a drunk idiot. 

Getting up from the floor, you fished around in your purse for your phone and settled into bed, not bothering to change or take your make-up off. It was way out of the realm of what you could muster from yourself right now, and honestly, it was a whole task in and of itself. You mindlessly scrolled through various apps on your phone, trying to occupy your mind, anything to not think about the shocking and devastating revelation you’d had tonight. 

You paused when you hit your email inbox, seeing a new email from Professor Miller. You sat up in bed, fumbling with your hair like he could see you through the phone. You clicked into the email, your eyes struggling to focus on the small text. You skimmed it, something about a missing attachment from the previous email you had sent him. You groaned, feeling like your world was spinning on its axis. Maybe it was from the alcohol or maybe it was because of the damning truth that you never had a shot with Joel, to begin with. 

You thumbed the tiny icon to attach the missing document to the email, replied back to him, and threw your phone away from you. Maybe you’d feel better about things in the morning, but you strongly doubted it. Nothing could cure how heartbroken you were and nothing could help you through it. Wallowing would have to do but for tonight, all you wanted was sleep.

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[prime-adeptus]

feverish | baizhu x gn!reader

A little secret is revealed in the backroom.

✦ CONTENT: Sickfic, pre-relationship, some fluff, pining, medical inaccuracies (source: I made it up). Qiqi and Changsheng make a cameo. MC is a bit of a menace. ~0,7k words

✧ NOTES: Just a little thing dedicated to bestie @eanul-rambul bc it's pride and I had to let him out of the basement (¬‿¬ ) enjoy

AO3 | Masterlist | Requests | @houseofsolisoccasum @interstellar-inn

“Until your fever goes down, I’m afraid I can’t let you leave,” comes Baizhu’s chiding voice. “I know you’ll sneak off the moment I let you out of my sight. I will personally oversee your treatment.”

You grumble. “It’s not like I can’t take care of myself.”

“You can, but you don’t,” he retorts swiftly. “As a doctor and your… friend, I can’t allow that to happen.”

The dull ache in your temples and the heat across your skin convince you to stop arguing with him for once. You slump against the pillows in defeat, your stubbornness finally broken down and him once again taking the last word—again. You watch as he flits across the room, hard at work concocting the right antidote for you. Though you’d insisted earlier that you were fine and that the fever would go away on its own, Baizhu is equally stubborn as you, if not more.

Taking care of patients is beyond second nature to him, so being treated the same way is far from an unusual thing. But the amount of work he had coupled with his own problems makes you feel guilty in a way. You don’t want to take up too much of his time, yet here he is, fussing over you like the worrywart that he is.

Qiqi lies on your bedside, feet dangling off the edge as she stares up at you, cheek resting against her hands. As much as it hurts to move, you gently pat her head with a fond smile. Baizhu had given her a break today, now that he has time to manage the pharmacy himself. The child could’ve gone wandering in the outskirts of Liyue, but she’s chosen to stay with you. It’s as if she’s developed an attachment to you somehow, even if you haven’t known her for a very long time.

Bitter over him reading you too well, you continue to sulk with your arms crossed over your chest, lips jutting into a pout. It’s not like you can’t heal yourself! Long journeys and family traditions have given you more than enough medical knowledge. It’s just that you’re a little weak today—nothing more. A good nap would have you back up and running in no time. That’s what you told him, only for him to decline as soon as you even stepped behind the counter.

“Doctor Baizhu wants to take care of you himself,” Qiqi speaks up after a moment of silence, idly kicking her legs as she subtly nuzzles into your hand. “He’s worried about you.”

“Qiqi…!” he sputters, momentarily freezing in his tracks. 

Much to your amusement, she ignores him, choosing to comfortably nestle into your side instead. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach and the warmth in your cheeks, you find yourself smiling in joy. Decidedly flustered, he continues to have his back turned to you, but the crucial piece of information she had let slip confirms it. The puzzle pieces are falling together at last.

“You’re worried about me, Doctor Baizhu?” you tease, entertained by how stiff he’d gotten. “Wanted to take care of me yourself, huh?”

He clears his throat. “It’s my job as a doctor.”

“Is that all?”

A pause. He nervously makes his way back to you, medicine now ready as he tries his hardest to avoid your curious gaze. As he’s about to put the tray down on the bedside, you wrap your hand around his wrist and peer at him mischievously.

“Hey…” you murmur. “You’ll take care of me, won’t you?”

Baizhu’s face is flushed and he can’t look you in the eye, something you find more than endearing as he shifts where he stands, uncharacteristically awkward and flustered. He clears his throat again, though he remains speechless.

“He’s gotten a lot warmer,” Changsheng adds mirthfully. “This is the warmest he’s been.”

“Ooh, you like me!” You grin, playfully nudging him. “You know, I’d kiss you if I wasn’t sick.”

“I… I’d be able to withstand it,” he says quietly. You only find yourself becoming giddier, thoroughly enjoying the sight of the composed Baizhu so shy. “W-Well! This shouldn’t be hard to swallow, I did my best to make sure it’s flavourless. One spoonful a day should do.”

“Will you be taking care of me every day too?” you ask, unable to resist teasing him some more.

His eyes widen. Trying to regain his composure (and failing, but you don’t mention it for his sake) he gives you an affirmative nod. You want to pinch his cheek in endearment, but you decide that can wait. You’ll savour this sight of him and this moment the best you can—fever and all.

“If that’s what you’d like,” Baizhu breathes, “if you’ll let me.”

[distuff]

Floating in The Blue Lagoon

. . .

. . .

Summary: Another day stuck in this world, another shady job from Crowley to Yuu, this time surrounding the aware, eerie Octavinelle. What can possibly go wrong?

Inspiration: The new tweels cards- Come on nOw

Side note: Between me and u, I was first going w the faceless first POV Yuu so everyone could imagine whatever. But then I saw M Yuu fanarts and I was like fck... another fandom where I imply gay rel!! 🤧

...

"Thank you soo much dear!" The familiar nasal voice spoke behind Yuu as the tall man nudged him toward his office door. "You're such a treasure for doing this, truly!"

"M-Matte-" Yuu began to protest, but before he could say more, Crowley pushed him out, Grim swaying in his arms with the mysterious box Crowley had trusted into his paws moments ago.

He spun around, hoping to be fast enough to stop the door from closing - even considering sacrificing Grim by throwing him like a Pokémon at the madman in the crow mask.

Yet before Yuu could do just that, Crowley was already giving them a wide grin, bidding them, Au revoir~ , and, Good luck, with a little wave before shutting the door in their stunned faces.

The sound of the door closing echoed through the empty hallway in the upper tower, leaving Yuu and Grim blankly staring at the bold golden letters spelling 'The Greatest Headmaster' on the dark wood.

They both blinked, bewilderedly, as the reality of their newly assigned 'homework' fully sunk in, making them soon grimace in annoyance.

'Maybe if I wish hard enough the chicken will combust into crispy KFC.' Yuu thought, glancing briefly at Grim in his arms once he spoke up.

"Soo..." Grim trailed off, his piercing blues peered up at Yuu, who kept glaring at the door. "Are we doing this or-"

Before he could finish, Yuu cut him off with a flat voice, "You think we can pass the RWA entrance exam?"

Silenced followed his 'question' until Grim spoke again, his voice resigned. "We are doing this."

Not a question, but a statement that simply stated the fact of the matter. Feeling there was no need to verbally confirm and make the situation that much more annoying, Yuu simply nodded with a blank face.

Choosing not to comment on Grim's swishing tail or how the Hades flames raised just so from his ears as he huffed and grumbled, the soft noise of sharp claws damaging a tough surface sounded through the halls right after.

Seeing no sense in standing around and prolonging the inevitable, Yuu let out a long sigh. Turning to leave, he fully accepted that instead of proper sleep, they'd return to their dorm around one AM.

'If luck enables us that is.' He grumbled internally, 'Should probably avoid Vil for two days…' Even the mental image of Pomefiore's house warden seeing his panda eyes brought chills down his spine.

And don't let him start on Riddle. Ugh...

Yuu trailed off with his thoughts to the potential scenarios they could experience if not careful in avoiding certain house wardens, not minding the feeling of Grim's tail encircling his hand as the grey furball continued throwing foreign words under his breath.

A slightly twisted thought crossed Yuu's mind - how bad would it be to let Grim unleash his irritation on the headmaster? But before the bitter seed could flourish into a poisons flower, Yuu quickly shook his head.

'This world is getting to me the longer I stay.' He mused. Part of hin started to feel comfortable in this magical world they were thrown into, and yet...the other part still longed to return to the warmth of his home.

Truly...Yuu truly didn't know what was the thought process when he oh so optimistically thought that, hey! I have friends, right? Me and Grim don't need to share this 'experience' alone.

Attempt NO 1,

6-Happy brain cells

- Heey guys!! Ik its late but do u wanna go w me and grim to Mostro lounge?? (10:45 PM 1)

Doll: Sure when?? (10:50 PM 1)

Doll: Who TF changed my fcking name again!? (10:50 PM 1)

Deunce: It suits you... (10:53 PM 1)

Aceless: "Sure when" Are u 4-real?? Like hell I'm goin back to that hell hole (10:53 PM 1)

Doll: aight' (10:54 PM 1)

Doll: It's a date then @ Yo-Yo (10:54 PM 1)

Aceless: Objection???? (10:54 PM 1)

Deunce: I second that (10:55 PM 1)

Doll: State the time pls (10:55 PM 1)

Aceless: Dont ignore me u lil purple haired troll! (10:57 PM 1)

Aceless: U forgot that we are a group?? If one doesn't go neither does others capiche?? (10:57 PM 1)

Doll: Aight' (10:57 PM 1)

Aceless: Aight' tf u mean 'aight' (10:57 PM 1)

- Doll removed Aceless from 6-Happy brain cells -

Doll: Deuce? (10:58 PM 1)

Doll: Do you agree with the exiled dud philosophy? (10:58 PM 1)

Deunce: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (10:59 PM 1)

Doll: Good 🍵 (10:59 PM 1)

Doll: @ Yo-Yo ?? (10:59 PM 1)

- Ah yes! Gomme gomme (シ_ _)シ (11:01 PM 1)

- Was getting the wooden boat out of the shed (11:01 PM 1)

Doll: Why? (11:01 PM 1)

Deunce: Why... (11:01 PM 1)

- ...why did u remove Ace?? (11:02 PM 1)

Doll: Why are U gettin a boat at 11 PM?? (11:02 PM 1)

- I asked whether u wanted to go to Mostro lounge (11:02 PM 1)

- Me and grim have to deliver a strange box to Azul and the Octavinelle's members in the lounge said he already gone back to the dorms so boat it is! (11:03 PM 1)

- Guys?? (11:05 PM 1)

- @ Doll?? (11:07 PM 1)

Attempt NO 2,

24/6 at Ruggies

- Is anyone free?? (11:09 PM 1)

Trey: And what are you doing up at this hour? (11:15 PM 1)

- Shouldn't I be asking you that with the whole rule number who knows which and ur bedtime? (11:15 PM 1)

Trey: Touché. (11:15 PM 1)

Trey: It's Sunday btw. (11:15 PM 1)

- Sht- I forgot (11:16 PM 1)

Idia: Ortho is asking why are u snooping behind the lounge @ Yuu (11:17 PM 1)

- Tell Ortho to mind his own business (11:17 PM 1)

Trey: Uuh...snappy 🍿(11:17 PM 1)

- 🚿🚿🚿 (11:17 PM 1)

Idia: Ortho is saying "You became our business the millisecond you prove yourself to be a valuable component in the system" (11:18 PM 1)

Before Yuu could follow up with a replay that would ask the Ignihyde brothers to come down and help them, the bold letter spelling 'Chat restricted until 10 AM, tomorrow' flashed over the screen.

'Fair.' Yuu thought.

Attempt NO3, aka the last resort, shows just how desperate he was at this point and regretted the second after sending the message to them.

Die Schönheit und die Süßen

- So... (11:20 PM 1)

- Anyone up? (11:20 PM 1)

For a hot second, Yuu thought no one would thankfully respond, but alas, that ping made his heart stop, and the message made his body tensed up.

Vil S.: What in the seven are YOU doing up at 11PM!? (11:21 PM 1)

- What are YOU doin up at 11PM?! (11:21 PM 1)

The three dots were far more threatening than they should have been, and Rook with Epel sending gravestones emoji did not help one bit. Yuu saw only one way out.

Without a second thought, Yuu left the group chat. There was no need to try to ask the group for the house warden only; Yuu wasted no time in leaving his phone on the shore with his blazer, putting his focus on helping Grim push the boat into the calm waters before jumping in.

"We are indebted to you they said. We'll support you when needed, they said," Yuu grumbled, rowing in sync with Grim, who stood on shaking paws before him. "Bullshit!" He threw his hands up in frustration - unaware his sharp movement made Grim wobble a bit before he glared at him.

With just the two of them, they started paddling across the lake nestled behind the lounge, the cursed box safely placed on the seat between them.

.

The oars fell with a heavy thud on the side of the boat, thankfully secured by the iron rod. His attention was more on the wildlife startled by his outburst. Frogs jumped into the water, and wings flapping filled the air, drawing Yuu and Grim to turn in the direction.

Familiar pink and blue flamingos were taking off and landing further away from the rowdy noise.

"Aren't those..." Grim began, pointing at the grooming flamingos in the distance. "Aren't those the ones Riddle is lookin' for?"

Yuu's eyes widened; knowing the implications of finding the lost Heartslabyul pigeons, he whirled his head towards Grim. "We didn't see anything, got it?"

Grim nodded vigorously, grabbing their individual oars they resumed rowing towards the lagoon that was getting closer much faster than before.

Once the flamingos were covered by the lake flora, they started to slow down, muscles starting to strain from the unplanned evening exercise.

"What do ya think is in it?" Grim asked, nodding at the box. His paddling may have slowed down, but by the strained expression, he refused to stop trying to help.

Unable to help it, Yuu gave his friend a small smile, knowing if he were to voice his appreciation, Grim would grumble and stop altogether, 'Stupid tsundere.' He thought, shrugging at his friend's question.

"Don't. know." Yuu grunted out each word, having to put more strength into his paddling, "Documents, money, dismembered body-"

"What?"

"What?" Yuu repeated, meeting Grim's wide-eyed stare. They both paused, silently eyeing each other for two different reasons.

Grim looked him up and down, his eyes settling on Yuu's gaze, narrowing suspiciously into slits. "You had a tea party with that old geezer," he growled, showing his small pointy teeth.

If this was past Yuu, he would have backed away and maybe fallen into the deadly yet enchanting water, but the present Yuu knew the reason behind Grim's irritation.

So, to spare some of his friend's feelings, Yuu discreetly turned his gaze to the side, mumbling, Maybe...

That, however, had the opposite effect. "And what did I say about that?!" Grim cried out, throwing his little paws up into the air with the oars dropping by his side.

Yuu hung his head, sighing at the familiar dance. "Not to go?" He replied in an even voice.

"And what did you do?" Grim asked back with an annoyed voice.

Prompting Yuu to look up, noting how his friend was now standing in the middle seat, closer to him. "Hey, now!" He shot back with furrowed brows, "I'm not going to limit myself just cause you're jealous!"

Grim gasped theatrically, a paw over his heart with wide blues gazing at him in horror before they narrowed in anger. "Am not!" His screech sent the remaining wildlife scattering with the sound of splashing and ruffling feathers.

Ignoring the commotion, Yuu playfully smirked, leaning on his palm, gazing mockingly at Grim's priceless reaction. "Oh, you so are." He moved his head left and right, leaning close with a sharp smile.

Their expressions mirrored each other, both showing their own set of teeth in a laughable display of dominance. However, it was just a matter of time before Grim would- Heh.

Yuu watched fondly as Grim averted his large eyes, huffing and crossing his paws. "I thought we were a team!" Grim said, bordering on whining, "A duo!"

He won't lie; his heart almost melted when Grim turned, his blues shining with feigned hurt that still made his eyes glitter. 'Stupid cat charm.' Yuu thought, biting his bottom lip to resist falling for Grim's antics as he continued dramatically,

"Where I go, you go, and where you go, you take me with you!"

Alright, the charm was broken, freeing Yuu to groan into his hands, his whining muffled. "But Lilia's teacakes are soo tempting~"

Something shifted in the air, making Yuu raise his head, only to meet Grim's disgusted expression as he tried leaning as far away as possible.

"We can't be that poor..." Grim muttered, making Yuu wince at his friend, offering him a wobbly smile.

"It's not so bad..." He said, trying to ignore the judgmental look he was getting, adding almost desperately, "It's just...he has a bitter taste.

Yuu kept up his awkward smile, partly focusing on the lulling rocking of their boat before Grim's sour expression caught his attention. "You're disgusting."

Blowing strands of hair from his eyes, Yuu was quick to retort back. "And you're just salty."

In a blink of an eye Grim was nose-to-nose with him, growling, Am not.

Yuu pressed back, eyes blazing. " You. Are." He emphasised. " It annoys you that Lilia doesn't invite you because you're hairy!"

The response was immediate as Grim recoiled back with an offended gasp. "How dare you! It's not my fault that geezer's allergic to my greatness!"

Feeling a surge of fondness, Yuu was unable to help but reach forward to boop Grim's nose, which scrunched up in response. "More like your-!"

Yuu felt his eyes widen together with Grim's, neither expecting the music that suddenly started filling the air. Both he and Grim turned cautiously to the side, trying to pinpoint how music could be playing in a middle of a fucking lake.

With their cheeks pressed together, they instinctually reached to embrace the other, watching in reality shuttering disbelief as five frogs appeared at the edge of their boat, jerking back when the frogs began singing along to the melody.

You and Grim exchanged a glance, but before they could voice the question of their sanity or check the lake's toxicity level, something started pushing their boat towards the lagoon hidden within the willow trees.

Shocked by the unfolding events, neither of them had the time to process as two seagulls pulled back the long branches, letting them into the lagoon - too entrance to notice the subtle harsh nudge to their boat.

They could only gape more at the number of animals joining in, with the music intensifying and the boat getting gently turned in the water.

The singing grew louder with the music while fireflies started to illuminate the space inside, making the water seem like a starry night outside.

"Sha-la-la-la, let the music play, do what the music says. You gotta kiss the- gwak! "

The sharp noise of something shooting from the water cut through the un-natural concert, snatching one of the seagulls mid-flight. The bird let out a distress cry before being dragged into the depths, all in the span of a second.

Frozen in shock, silence fell over the lagoon, everyone staring at the spot where the seagull had disappeared. Yuu barely had time to blink before the chaos erupted.

Water splashed, feathers ruffled, and leaves rustled. Yuu and Grim stood rigid as the previous silence returned, thick with tension.

Without hesitation, they embraced each other, holding on tightly. When no sound entered their space beside their breathing, Yuu thought in passing how the lagoon would seem enchanting if they hadn't just witnessed a murder.

He restrained himself from glancing at the spot, which Yuu could only assume would be a red mixed with rich blue by now. Instead, Yuu willed his wide eyes to move around, searching for any sign of danger as their boat slowly rocked in place.

"We are not getting paid enough for this!" Grim cried out, his twitching whiskers tickling Yuu's cheek as the cat spoke, his words echoing in the quiet space.

Tightening his hold on Grim, Yuu cried out next. "I can't go down for a shitty box!"

As a response, both of them stilled when they felt something heavy bump into their boat, rocking it harder. Yuu swiftly covered Grim's mouth as the cat prepared to screech in fear, hoping to avoid drawing attention from whatever lurked beneath the surface any further.

With bated breaths, Yuu bit his bottom lip as Grim's claws dug into his skin. 'I just clipped them!' Was his last train of thought before his mind went blank.

Yuu's heartbeat thundered in his ears, the rapid rhythm a stark contrast to the ominous silence that filled the lagoon. The boat hadd ceased its unsettling rotations, coming to an eerie stop.

His breath, shallow and rapid, stirred Grim's fur, the soft rumble of the feline's growls offering the only semblance of comfort.

Grim unconsciously leaned further into his chest, large blues sharpening into slits with his fur rising in alert as his forked-tail swished back and forth.

Splash. Two sets of eyes snapped to the rippling water, both braced for what was to come when-

"Heya!"

Yuu screamed, a high-pitched, girlish sound that echoed through the still air. The familiar boyish voice behind him and the cold, clammy hand on his shoulder sent a jolt of terror though his body.

In his panic, Yuu jerked away, inadvertently tossing Grim into the air right as he was yanked back into a slimy, wet chest, his shirt absorbing the icy droplets that clung to the perpetrator's skin.

"Grim!" Yuu shouted, his voice thick with horror as he watched his yowling friend tumble through the air.

For a fleeting moment, he twistedly hoped that a hungry seagull would snatch Grim, mistaking the cat for a sardine. Anything was better than what- who was lurking in the lake's depths.

But such hope was snapped the instant Grim hit the water with a resounding splash, plunging the lagoon back into an uneasy silence.

Yuu's mind raced as he stared at the spot where Grim had vanished. He was too distracted to notice the two webbed cyan hands creeping over his chest - the now see-through shirt thoroughly drenched.

Only when he wanted to instinctually move towards the edge of the boat to check the surface did Yuu quickly realise he couldn't move a muscle.

The grip was firm yet deceptively gentle, with cold fingers pressing against his skin, sending a chill down his spine as they began to squeeze just so. The sharp nails dug in just enough to threaten without breaking the skin.

Yuu tensed when hot breath tickled his ear, sharp teeth grazing his earlobe, making him shudder involuntarily as blood flowed to his ears - no doubt taunting the predator with the promise of live prey.

His breath hitched as the grip on his chest tightened, a possessive hold that made it hard to breathe as he spoke in a low voice, making his heartbeat quickened.

"Shrimpy~"

The nickname was unmistakable, uttered with a boyish tone laced with a dangerous edge. There was no questioning which Leech twin had ensnared him.

"F-Floyd." Yuu stammered, his voice trembling as he forced out the name, a shaky smile plastered on his face.

His pulse pounded underneath his skin as Floyd's grip tightened, pulling him closer against the merfolk's cold, smooth chest. The wet fabric of his button-up clung to his skin uncomfortably, but he knew better than to squirm or complain by now.

Any sign of resistance would only aggravate the eel that had meticulously twisted around its prey. Not yet intending to harm only to play.

Floyd's chest vibrated against Yuu's back, a low rumble that sent a shiver down his spine. "You should know by now ya can't just come here uninvited," Floyd murmured, his voice carrying a subtle threat that made Yuu's breath hitch.

He opened his mouth, fully indenting to explain their nightly visit, but the words on the tip of his tongue were swallowed down as Floyd's nose brushed against the side of his neck.

Familiar tingly of electricity travelled from his neck down to his fingertips. The merfolk's breath was hot against his skin, and Yuu had to fight the urge not to flinch away. Any movement, any sign of weakness, would only provoke Floyd further.

Instead, he tried putting the focus on more pressing matters as the merfolk started to move Yuu backwards little by little, where he had to dig his hands into the wood underneath him to prevent Floyd from pulling him into the cold waters.

"Could you- I don't know, could you maybe go down and...you know," Yuu's voice faltered as Floyd paused to study him, his heterochromatic eyes unredable with his right faintly glowing within the dimmed lagoon.

Yuu forced a nervous chuckle, his eyes darting around as he tried to avoid Floyd's gaze. "Go down and get him?" Yuu suggested weakly, quickly adding, for a price of course! with a strained smile when he saw Floyd's unchanged expression, webbed ears twitching in clear irritation with his hold tightening just so.

Their eyes locked in a silent exchange, an unspoken conversation that sent a shiver down Yuu's spine. He watched, heart pounding, as Floyd's hands slowly slid down his arms to the edge of the boat.

The eel merfolk used it to lift himself up until he was looming over him. Sharp fins flaring in a clear challenge with dual eyes locked with his flittering gaze.

Droplets of water landed on Yuu's face, cold and startling, but instead of listening to the alarms in his head to look away and accept defeat, he squared his shoulders, his gaze hardening with determination.

Floyd leaned closer, a soft growl escaping his throat, revealing a razor-sharp canine poking from his lips. A gesture meant to threaten, to send fear through the body, freezing it in place. And yet...

Yuu knew all too well that if Floyd wanted to, he could easily flip the boat and trap him in the dark, cold depths of his domain, where he was rendered useless more than he already was on land.

But Yuu had spent enough time with the moody twin to understand his twisted sense of 'fun'. He didn't flinch as he watched the golden eye seemingly gleam even more. He didn't let his heart's frantic rhythm distract him when Floyd's longer strand of hair tickled his cheek.

He held his ground, calmly staring into Floyd's golden eye, not paying much attention to how the eel's body slid into the boat, inch by inch.

In that tense moment, Yuu could only prey that Grim's lazy brain had paid some attention during Mr Vargas's lessons on holding one's breath underwater.

Either that, or Yuu would have to find a way to win in Floyd's game without losing a limb, or-

A sharp splash of water and a loud gasp shattered whatever bubble Yuu was willingly drowning in. Both he and Floyd snapped their attention forward just as his vision was suddenly obscured by a ball of grey fur.

Grim, shaking more from fear than cold, clung to Yuu's face, his little heart pounding against his forehead. Yuu groaned, prying the terrified creature off his face, all while ignoring the irritated tut behind him.

He was about to ask Grim whether they would have to sneak into the collages infirmary again when his attention was stolen by the second twin, who Yuu notated was already half way in their boat.

Jade's smile feigned charm, which was nothing if not sadistic, with heterochromatic eyes glinting with amusement as he moved closer, using the middle plank which Yuu was sitting on to prop himself up.

Grim, still shivering, clung to Yuu's now drenched shirt, the fabric clinging to his ski nearly see-through, with the realisation settling in that they were now trapped between the two merfolk.

Yuu could do nothing but wait for either of them to speak as he was the one intruding on their territory with his heart hammering against his chest. 'If only the ghosts in Ramshackle were this territorial.' Yuu thought, desperately trying to keep his wits about him.

Jade tilted his head to the left, his eyes scanning them as they were once more clutching the other, the left eye glowing eerily, deepening the melted gold.

"Well, if it isn't the little Prefect..." Jade's voice was smooth, almost calming to the situation, served as a further threat by the way his sharp teeth peeked through his empty smile. "May I inquire as to your reason for being here?"

Yuu was more than aware of the strict policy every dorm oblige to. Every having their own set of rules and habits with only one being shared between them. The Entry policy.

Unless a member of said dorm or invited by the housewarden personally a student could only get in if send by the principle. Which Yuu was, naively thinking would be taken care of by said chicken!

Feeling his brows furrow, Yuu was quickly reminded of his current predicament when he felt Floyd move behind him, a large hand reaching over to grab Grim, who immediately started squirming and protesting about, how dare you treat the great Grim like a rat!

Yuu's mind provided an image of a trashing Grim facing a grumpy-looking Floyd who dangled him in the air like a wet socks.

He bit his tongue, knowing all too well what would follow if he were to turn around in a fruitless attempt to help. Instead, Yuu stayed still, his eyes never trailing away from Jade's inquisitive ones.

Taking a deep breath, Yuu nodded towards the box that was now underneath Jade. "Sir Crowley tasked me- us. Tasked us with delivering this to Azul," he explained, trying to stay calm despite the snickers and hisses behind him and the feeling of another body sliding closer to his right

The way Jade looked down and Floyd stopped tormenting Grim to peer over his shoulder in almost puppy-like curiosity helped Yuu ease up some of his nerves. Yet it never fully lost its guard, which heightened once more when the silence that followed was heavy.

Even Grim seemed to sense the unease in the air when he stopped trashing in Floyd's hold. Not being able to stay silent no more, Yuu quickly added in a dire attempt to smooth over the tension.

Not noticing how both eels' spins flared, eyes narrowed, and their webbed ears flattened or ruffled, he started spouting elaboration.

"I would have left it at the lounge, but he said Azul asked for it to be delivered immediately! I thought he sent notice to you guys before I-"

But before he could finish, the boat suddenly flipped over. The realisation of what had happened came too late, and Yuu found himself plunged into the cold water with a mouthful of it before he could have a chance to react accordingly.

With blurry vision and pounding hear, Yuu's other senses heightened almost immediately where he jerked away from the feeling of the familiar smooth muscles gliding over his back.

The sensation had prompted Yuu to shook off the shock and quiclky swam upwards, partly noting the smooth muscle of one of the twins tails ssliding under his feet.

Being in no position to think whether it was meant to help or strain him more, his sole focus was on the faster approaching surface.

Gasping for air as he broke the surface, Yuu pushed his wet hair out of his eyes, only to feel a cold present settle behind him with tail coiled around his feet, immobilising him and forcing him to sit on the powerful muscle.

"Our apologies, we didn't account for the heaviness of this form. I hope you can forgive us, Mr Prefect." Jade's smooth voice sounded behind him, his hands easily sliding over Yuu's arms, settling under his palms with a deceptive gentleness.

Blaming the cold water for his tremble, Yuu fight to ignore the soft electric feeling under his palm, opting to glance over his shoulder and narrowing his eyes at Jade's insincere smile.

"Oh, I'm sure you both feel so guilty," Yuu glowered, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Why did you push it over?"

Jade blinked at him 'innocently', but before Yuu could press for an answer, the sound of cackle behind him followed by something slimy brushing against his exposed arm, drew his attention to Floyd, who was now lazily circling them in the water, with shivering Grim on his chest as the twin leisurely yet roughly patted him.

Yuu winced in sympathy at the ministration, his eyes widening when Floyd's hand emerged from the water, the silver box in his hand as the twin rattled it with a mischievous grin.

"Lookie, Jade!" Floyd called out to his brother, who in turn smiled knowingly at his twin. "It's that."

Floyd stopped before them, ignoring how Grim cringed in his hold with his body partly submerged under the water. 'At least I won't have to bathe your stinky arse.' Yuu thought, refocusing on the question he and Grim wondered about before.

"What's in that box?" Yuu asked, nodding at the silver box in Floyd's possession. Yet, instead of answering, the twins exchanged a glance before focusing all their attention on him.

Yuu instinctively retreaded a bit, unintentionally pressing closer to Jade, who tightened his tail around Yuu's legs in response.

A gesture that could be either threatening or comforting settled at the back of his mind when he fought the shiver induced by Jade's low voice near his reddening ear.

"If you're so curious..." He began smoothly as Floyd swam closer with Grim tightly pressed against his chest, rendering the creature speechless as Floyd mimicked his twin's looming presence.

"Why not come down with us?" Floyd finished with a boyish voice. Both brothers peered down at Yuu who felt the tip of Floyd's tail effortlessly take off his shoes with both the twins working down the buttons of his blouse to-

"N-No, we good! But thanks for the offer, truly!" Yuu stammered, his smaller human hands pushing theirs away, no doubt letting him to; otherwise, Yuu was hundred percent sure he and Grim would already be dragged into the water half way on their way to the Octavinelle dorm.

The twins exchanged another look, Jade had his usual calm expression while Floyd was clearly dissatisfied with his rejection of their proposal.

What followed next was a bunch of chatter sounds where mostly Floyd was showing his annoyance through soft glowers with his sharp spine fin occasionally flexing.

But whatever they were discussing in their own language that Yuu couldn't even phantom to decipher, it was clearly affecting Jade as well as his tail tightened more than once around his legs where Yuu started to stop feeling his feet.

Thankfully, the brothers cleared their disagreement pretty fast, with Jade turning to him with a tight smile and Floyd huffing, letting go of Grim as he crossed his arms with the box in his left hand, enabling Grim to quickly try paddling to Yuu only to be caught by the ever smiling Jade.

"Very well then," Jade said, his golden eye glowing briefly as he began to unwarp his long tail from around Yuu's legs. Thinking he was being let go, he got ready to start kicking his stocking feet that would otherwise make him grimace if all his clothes were not wet as well.

You could only internally groan at the prospect of laundry once he and Grim returned to their dorm, which sounded heavenly right now.

But instead of the freedom he hoped he was granted, Yuu found himself being pulled into a suffocating embrace. Floyd grinned in satisfaction with one glance at Jade telling him this was planned.

With a stretched smile, Jade continued. "It wouldn't do you good to swim all the way to shore. Please, let us escort you Mr Prefect." A command that was poorly disguised as a question.

'It wouldn't do me good to swim with you two either!' He wanted to say out loud, but instead, he let his eyes fall on something behind the ever-patient Jade.

Yuu paid no mind to Floyd's hands slipping around him, the eel nuzzling into his neck once more, sending waves of soft electricity down his arms and leaving iron taste in his mouth.

Glancing between the flipped boat and Jade with large, hopeful eyes, Yuu pointed at it with a wobbly smile. "Eh..You could just turn it around-!"

He should have expected it Jade's respond, truly, it was his fault.

Before Yuu could finish his suggestion, Jade, without turning around, brought his powerful tail down, smashing the boat into pieces with a single blow. THe sharp sound echoed in the quiet lagoon, the silence only broken by Jade's silver voice.

"You were saying?" He asked 'innocently' with a tilted head.

Making a quick eye contact with Grim who froze in Jade's hold, thankfully unharmed from the flying pieces of wood. Yuu knew it was either yes and a gentle ride home with a clingy leech or no and a forced ride back to shore with water entering his nose-

"I was saying that I'd be grateful for your assistance." Yuu replied with a strained smile, which Jade returned with a much more charming one while Floyd let out a short huff.

As if all the patience Floyd had to stay silent through their back and forth was finally all used up, the merfolk submerged underwater before Yuu had the chance to see his expression.

His tail slid under Yuu's legs before disappearing entirely. Unsure of what Floyd was planning, Yuu looked to Jade for answers, but the other twin only smiled back, moving forward and smoothly sliding into the water as he let Grim walk over his shoulder onto his back, continuing onwards.

Yuu didn't know what to say or do as he watched the Leech brother getting farther away, sharing a confused look with Grim Yuu sighed. Seeing no other reason for Floyd's disappearance other than boredom, he was not surprised by the eel's whimsical nature.

With no other choice left, Yuu started to follow Jade who was already a good distance away from him, his drenched clothes not making the swimming any easier.

"Stupid chicken with his stupid tasks and his stingy-!" Grumbling under his breath without choking on the water, he was suddenly pushed upwards by a strong and refine muscle which moved him faster forward.

With legs on both sides of what was moving under him, Yuu blinked away his short-lived surprise. It didn't take a genius to understand that he was sitting on Floyd's waist who flashed him a crooked grin, with hands behind his head, as his powerful tail pushed them forward.

"Were ya thinkin' of swimming away from me, Shrimpy?" Floyd teased, his voice playful, clearly waiting for his response.

Yuu let out a tired sigh, his expression softening into a reluctant smile. "How could I when you would clearly catch me no matter what." Yuu replied, hand curiously spreading on Floyd's smooth, cyan-white skin, which shimmered under the moon's light.

The merfolk rumbled in response, the vibration travelling through Yuu's fingertips as Floyd's annoyed tut finally drew his attention back to his face. Yuu only saw Floyd's furrowed brows just as webbed hands grasped his and pulled him closer.

Sprawled over Floyd, his nose barely brushing against Yuu's forehead. "Ya wouldn't make the chase boring though, right Shrimpy?" Floyd asked in a low voice, his other hand brushing Yuu's hair behind his ear, claws lightly grazing his sensitive skin, sending shivers down Yuu's spine. "I know you wouldn't, right?"

Yuu swallowed nervously, his wide eyes meeting Floyd's duals. The golden eye seemed to glow brighter under the open starry night. Knowing one wrong move or word could trigger a different mood with a different response where Yuu would either end up safely on the shore or drowned in the peaceful lake.

He couldn't help the relieved sighed when Jade's stern voice interrupted the charged air between them. "Floyd."

Floyd's gaze dropped, lazily meeting his twin's disapproving stare. "I thought you wanted him to enjoy the ride back in peace." Jade reminded him.

Yuu and Grim exchanged wary glanced, their eyes darting between the two Leech brothers, settling on Floyd's sharp grin which grew as he locked eyes with Jade.

Without another word, Floyd lowered his head on the water's surface, his teal hair fanning out as he swam just a little faster, ahead of his brother.

"Ya never asked for my definition of peace, now did ya." Floyd quipped cheekily. Jade easily let his twin have the last word, recognising that his brother's appetite for chaos was, for the moment, satiated.

Knowing what the other Leech brother did, Yuu waved his hand to gain Jade's attention, which the more composed twin immediately gave.

A brief but genuine smile crossed his lips as Yuu mouthed a silent, thank you. Jade nod in respond, redirecting his focus to the path ahead.

Determined to maintain the fragile peace, Yuu subtly motioned for Grim to stay quiet. The little feline rolled his eyes with a huff as he crossed his paws, but wordlessly complied. Not daring to challenge the Leech twins' unpredictable nature.

Satisfied, Yuu turned his attention forward, observing Floyd's unexpectedly peaceful expression. Here he was, sitting on a merfolk, a being capable of tearing him to pieces, snapping his bones as if made of porcelain.

Yet instead, Floyd had chosen to help with his brother. To protect, in their own twisted way.

'Even if you may be seen as morally grey, selfish, animalistic and twisted. I...' Yuu thought, his fingers absently tracing the smooth skin, barely feeling the hidden scales. 'I can't help but admire the authenticity of your actions.'

Be it the Leech twins, Azul or other students he met in NRC Yuu never felt he was being lied to. Tested or even secretly deceived. Hell! The trio never hid their scheming nature when they tried luring students into making deals.

'This place truly lives up to its name.' Heh. A bitter smile tugged at Yuu's lips when, instead of the expected fear, disgust or resentment, all he could feel was...peace.

Throughout their serene ride, Yuu couldn't help but return to the same old thought. Was this world changing him, or was he letting it change him?

How long until he would fully forget about returning back to his home, to his family and life? How long until he would stop fighting the pull and let himself drown in the murky waters.

Yuu felt his eyes dim with each question, hands fisting before he willed them to relax. He truly needed sleep.

.

The journey back to shore was much quicker with the twins' assistance than when he and Grim rowed on their own.

The moment they reached the dark-sandy beach encircling the lake, both Floyd and Jade swam as close as possible allowed them to, their massive forms gliding effortlessly though the water.

As soon as they hit the shallows, the brothers settled on the sand, allowing Yuu and Grim to slide down.

Wasting no time in staying longer than needed, Grim leapt from Jade's back, muttering a quick, Thanks! Just as Yuu drilled into him, scurrying to the safety of the shore, far from the water's edge.

Yet when it was his turn, he didn't get far. Choking on his thanks, Yuu stumbled forward with a jolt of fear travelling through him when a webbed hand clasped around his ankle, causing him to crash to the sand.

Heart pounding, Yuu instinctively braced himself for the fall, intending to turn and yell at Floyd. But before he could, the merfolk was already flipping him over with ease, his golden eye glinting with playful malice.

"Floyd, what the hell-" Yuu's words died in his throat as he saw the sharp, glinting teeth inching closer to his foot. His breath quickened, and a primal fear gripped him. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the painful feeling of teeth tearing into flesh.

But instead of pain, he felt a strange, tickling sensation. Confused, Yuu slowly opened his eyes to find Floyd nibbling on his ankle, his sharp teeth grazing the skin without breaking it.

A familiar heavy feeling of guilt settled on his heart as he watched Floyd finish his ministration that was probably meant as a goodbye for him, tail softly thumbing behind the brother as he gave him a large grin, oblivious to what Yuu thought he would do.

'And right after I thought you shouldn't be seen as mindless monsters.' Guess old habits do die hard, Yuu thought solemnly. He is still not used to some of the 'cultural' differences between his world and theirs it seemed.

"Let's play like this again soon, alright?" Floyd's question interrupted Yuu's self-demeaning thoughts, his voice unusually soft, but with an undeniable edge to it.

His tail flicked water playfully onto the shore with Jade next to his twin, silently regarding Yuu with an unsettling intensity, his duals gleaming with an eagerness that could be seen as a predatory curiosity from a different angle.

"Please take care and get home safe, Mr Prefect." Jade said, his expression already washed down by his empty smile as he respectfully bowed his head while his twin nodded vigorously, his expression equally unreadable.

"Hai, hai! The land is far more dangerous than water anyways." Floyd followed, his usual playful demeanor fading into something more serious. "If ya get into trouble, don't hesitate to jump here."

"I'm sure we could make an...expectation for you if you're in dire danger." Jade added, slowly moving closer. Yuu's eyes shifted between the two twins, whichever spoke, noting that both were now looming over him on each side.

Yuu took into account their uncaring nature, reasoning no matter how long they lived ashore, they wouldn't care for something obvious like personal space.

"Azul might even allow you to stay in Octavinelle for a while too..." Floyd said next, bending so his duals with his gleaming gold would easily lock with Yuu's hesitant gaze that slowly melted into a more interested look.

"Indeed..."Jade followed next, mirroring his twin's posture as well as expression, "For a price, of course. But don't fret, it won't be too hefty, I promise you that our little Prefect."

Yuu felt the weight of their gazes, the two pools of melted gold gleamed with a mix of amusement and something more possessive.

He barely registred the feeling of their webbed hands - one gentle, the other more forceful - clasping his own, nor did he hear Grim's muffled panicked cries.

All Yuu could focus on was the two glowing golds and the subtle pressure of being pulled back towards the water when an arrow suddenly whizzed through the air, landing inched from Yuu's groin, easily pushing the two eels from him.

The shared shock between them broke whatever chain was encircling Yuu's neck, making all three turn their heads sharply in the direction the arrow that nearly castrated him had come from.

Yuu's breath hitched, the low sound of growls ignored as his brain settled on far greater danger than those two merfolks' that retreated further into the waters.

There in the distance, a familiar figure marched towards them with a scowling expression and scary speed, considering the heels that seemed sharper than usual.

The peaceful night was shattered. Without a second thought, Yuu scrambled to his feet, the adrenaline surging through his veins as his eyes locked with blazing amethysts; Grim's loud voice going ignored as he shouted, Rook!?

Yuu couldn't decipher whether it was from excitement or fear as his friend pointed up at the trees with heavy foliage, his attention solely on,

"V-Vil! What are you doing here at this fine hour?" Yuu stammered, his voice trembling slightly as the blond bore down on him. Vil seemed like a man on a mission, his dress robe adorned by fur fluttering behind him like a royal robe.

Seeing movement in his peripheral vision, Yuu quickly glanced to the side, seeing the two twins slowly sliding away from him before his focus was turned back due to the familiar scent of caramel apple engulfing his senses.

"Fine? Fine, you say," Vil's voice was low, dangerously calm, with an edge that sent chills down Yuu's spine that was not from the wind brushing against his drenched state.

Suddenly, the taller teen grabbed Yuu by the collar, yanking him closer, their faces mere inches apart. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" Vil demanded, his amethysts burning with a fury that Yuu felt only he was privileged to see from the 'perfect' male standing before him.

Yuu forced an awkward smile at his senior, raising his hands in surrender. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuu caught sight of Epel, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

The lavender-haired boy who was bent over still found the strength to furiously shake his head with a paled expression, motioning with his thumb a cutting gesture over his neck.

But Yuu, despite knowing better, couldn't stop himself from speaking. "Somewhere around eleven-"

"Twelve. Thirty. AM." Vil's voice cut through the night like a blade, dripping with venom from the usually composed 'Queen' of Pomefiore.

Feeling the unusual statick in the air, Yuu willed himself to take a deep breath in, scanning Vil's flawless face that was adorned with faint lines of stress.

His heart sank at the thought that he was the cause of the blond's distress. Eyes softening, Yuu opened his mouth in an attempt to soothe the blond, but before he could say anything, Vil huffed a shaky smirk, speaking of Yuu's inevitable doom.

Too slow to react, Vil turned on his heel, tugging Yuu forward with surpsiing force. Tumbling over his stocking feet, Yuu tried to regain his balance, but Vil didn't give him the chance.

With a firm grip on the back of Yuu's drenched shirt, Vil marched forward, dragging him along the ground like a beat-up plushy that was about to get thoroughly washed.

The pompous 'Queen' whistled a short tune as they passed Epel, who had just caught his breath only to realise he had to go through all that again.

However, before he could ask his friend why he was even out here, his head snapped to familiar yowl of Grim. Scanning his around where he heard him, Yuu didn't had much time to pin point where he was as Vil's voice dragged his attention back to him.

"Going on some evening endeavour this late at night, leaving the chat and then daring not to answer any of the calls. I hope you know I expect you to sit obediently once we get back to Pomefiore and not make a peep while I try to save this disaster."

Vil looked over his shoulder, peering down at Yuu with amethysts that gleamed with the promise of punishment if defiance were to be noticed.

Feeling wronged for nothing, Yuu stupidly tried to explain his and Grim situation before Vil's tense voice easily cut through his voice. "Do you understand?"

Wide eyes searched the hardened violet gems before he let out a long sigh. Slumping his shoulders, Yuu replied with a short, aye, sir.

Clearly satisfied with his respond, Vil humped as he continued listing all that they would have to go through to ensure neither of them would get dark circles or dry skin once they woke up.

Hearing the torture they would have to go through, his eyes swiftly locked with Epel's wide ones, I expect full compensation the boy's gaze said which made Yuu promptly snap his attention at his only salvation.

Yet when his fearful eyes met two pairs of duals shining with sadistic mischiefs in the moonlit night, he found no solace - only the eerie, synchronised wave of the two merfolk, making Yuu rethink his previous thought before all this.

'I take it all back. All of you are sadistic bastards!'

---

Thank you all for reading! I hope ya enjoyed yourself. Pls don't be shy to comment any of Ur thoughs or leave a like. It was fun to write!

[maleyanderecafe]

i haven't seen any news here yet but have u seen the newest update for 14 days with you? ren in day 3 got me blushing and shiiiii 🤪 and his new hairstyles? gahdamn 😮‍💨

It's been a long time coming, but I played the update! I actually had to wait since at the time there was a 3.5 update coming out so I just waited until that came out before deciding to play the entire thing. Lots of new and changed things, the artwork is great as always.

Since in my original recommendation I already gave summary on the first day, I'm going to first note some changes for the first day before summarizing the second day.

In the first day, we can now change the length of Haruko's hair, which in turn changes Ren's hair as well. In addition, we get a conversation from our boss Conan who talks about repairing the library. Depending on options, we also meet up with two friends while walking home, Jay and Leon. As I'm aware, these are the major changes that happen in the first day.

During the second day, Ren accompanies Angel out on a date before the two run into Leon and Teo, Angel's ex (or fling). Teo and Ren get very bitter towards each other, showcasing that Teo is kind of a bad ex, still being rather possessive towards Angel while Leon tries to keep everyone's cool. Afterwards, Angel and Ren go eat out in a cafe (with an easter egg that Angel can actually like an goth look that they see a passerby with, a reference to Redacted's look). Angel and Ren decide to go to a store where a girl named Olivia starts flirting with Ren. Ren is clearly uncomfortable, but Angel sees this as a possibility that Ren might be interested in her, due to how they were treated by Teo in the past. As the two end their date, it starts to rain and Ren goes out to get an umbrella. After taking a long time, Angel starts to believe that Ren has ditched them and can choose to leave or stay. Either way, Ren comes back in the nick of time and offers them to either go to their place or Ren's (though in the end the two go to Ren's). Ren's place is very clean and modern, almost as if it was never really used, fitting considering Ren is a programmer. Ren insists on Angel staying (through glitchy text) and they can either decide to stay in their room or have a good time with Ren in his room.

The next day, Ren makes Angel some breakfast (and cute moments) before Angel heads out back to work. It seems that Elanor has some work to do and one of the shelves fell on her thus causing her to leave early (wonder who could have caused that). Elanor's sister, Kiara comes to visit and hang out as well. Teo comes in as well and immediately goes towards Elanor who gets smitten with him. Angel can decide to join in on Teo and Kiara's "date" to make sure nothing happens to her, but not before Conan pulls them aside to make sure they're safe (in general) because of the accident that Elanor had. If they do they end up all going to a bookstore where Angel finds Ren reading behind some shelves, but not before being interrupted by Moth who calls them and chats them up. Leon then also suggests having a double date at an aquarium the next day (this is also the same thing he asks if you decide to not join in on the date and instead go home). They briefly meet Olivia outside their apartment who asks what their relationship with Ren is before leaving. In the end they go home where they can invite someone over, go to their place or call them. With Elanor, Angel will air out their distaste for Teo and warns her to be careful, with Violet, the two discuss the date and Angel's feelings on it, with Conan, they chat a bit about the discussion, with Jae, they chat a bit before talking about the date, Angel talks to Leon about how worried they are about Teo and Elanor, Angel and Teo snidely talk about each other and Moth chat about the date as well, but all of them either send Angel home because of a phone call or the reception gets busted in some way or another. Ren also ends up coming over at the end of all of these, talking about the murder, the place that Angel is living at before watching a movie and possibly having more sexy times. There are also some easter eggs for certain people as well if you are so inclined.

First of all, I will say that the game really maintains the quality of visuals and coding as everything is as clean and as beautiful as when I first played it. Always something nice that's added. I like that you now have the option to change pronouns when you'd like and that you can change the message on your phone and see other character's messages as well. It's a good way to integrate the world inside of the game and it looks good. Each ending where Angel refuses to date Ren has of course Ren booting them back into the main menu and the addition of adding various glitchy effects that stack up as the game goes on depending on choice is a very nice thing as well. It makes me wonder about what consequences it may have in the future. Having to choose Ren's hair length via Haruka's hair length is fun too and changes the cgs as well which is kind of cool to see. There's more hints of Ren's interference, causing the bookshelf to fall on Elanor, causing any phone calls to be abruptly interrupted to to interference and causing any in person meetings to be interrupted by phone calls. One of the things that I didn't particularly like changed was the event that Olivia dies after her first encounter with Ren, while Angel is waiting for him to get the umbrella. It's shown only through the special screen with the character message stating that she's offline in a very eerie way, something that was a great way to show that Ren had done something to her without explicitly saying it. Of course, in this version, Olivia does not die and instead Angel seems her in the apartment. I can see why it was changed as Ren is shown to be more of a lighter yandere, but I really liked the way that it subtly showed Ren dealing with her in a previous version. Another thing that confused me was the call (video call?) that Angel has with Moth at the bookstore. After seeing Moth's sprite I legitimately thought that they were actually at the store for most of the conversation and I only was able to tell it was a call based on the text box itself. I think a better way to display this is if either Moth's sprite was a bit more transparent or it was changed to be placed in a box to indicate that it was call. The last thing is more of a bug, but if you have skipping on and you hold down the skip key while starting the game, you can actually play the entire game without seeing a single sprite, as you didn't answer the intro questions of name, streamer mode, etc. It also resets when you back to the do answer those questions. Probably can be fixed easily by preventing skipping at least until you actually get to the dialogue.

We get more backstory with Angel and their relationships, especially with Teo. We can see why they are a lot more reserved when it comes to their relationship with Ren, given that they were not treated well when it came to Teo and thus has lingering doubts on whether Angel actually loves them or not. It makes the Olivia and Ren interaction and going home early make more sense (though I am kind of surprised that Angel would want to even talk to Teo given that they probably aren't really on good terms. That and he's a jerk). Most of the conversations after the date talk about Teo as a person and how most of them want to believe that Teo is actually getting better as a person, which seems... weird, given that his behavior does not show otherwise. Personally, I think it's really weird that Angel would even approve Elanor and Teo going on dates in the first place, given that Teo seems to be a terrible person and is the kind that cheats very easily, where Elanor is the type that is more romantic. It is addressed after the various dates and you can actually tell Elanor in person, but I think it's very strange everyone wants these two to actually date given how very different their personalities are and Teo being kind of a huge jerk. I suppose its more like the fact that you can't control if they wanted to date, but I would have thought Angel would have warned Elenor about him considering what Angel and Teo's relationship was like.

Overall, I think the game is making good progression on where it is. Right now it's a little slow though, mostly focusing on dating lives and whatnot, but hopefully we can also get to the mysterious murders that are happening soon enough. Ren is still cute as always and it's fun that you can still tease him in his various scenes.

[velvetcloxds]

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM | S.R

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

word count: 0.8k

warnings: toxic family, parental role reversal, guilt

summary: spencer and the team come over to your new place to celebrate you finally leaving your toxic childhood home

a/n: started off strong , became too real, rushed the ending

It wasn’t much of an achievement for most, moving out of the house you grew up in, doing so in your mid-twenties even less so. But Spencer thought it the biggest achievement, the bravest step you’d ever taken, and you were touched by his excitement. It was a small little apartment, open floor space, everything flowing into one and with your boxes still scattered everywhere there was hardly room for everyone- but Spencer bought a cake. Rossi said he was bringing pasta and you just barely heard Emily promise to bring champagne, so you couldn’t talk anyone out of making a fuss.

It was a confusing set of emotions, you’d been dreaming of leaving for years, since your second year at university, but guilt always stopped you in your tracks. You didn’t want to leave without her, leave her in it, feel responsible for her, like getting a good job and finding a good place should be to save her and not yourself, not just yourself. And you waited, begged, bargained, fought with all your might to have her see things for what they were and leave, you would’ve done anything to make it happen for her- but despite it all, despite years of pain, she wasn’t ready to escape and as much as you wanted to make her ready, you couldn’t. You were, you didn’t have it in you to stay even if you wanted to for her, you had to get out, for you.

“Do you think there’s enough candles?” Spencer was fiddling about in the living room area, though it wasn’t truly ready to be lived in yet, furniture wasn’t in the cards for a while so of course he’d taken to constructing some with all your boxes.

“I think it’s plenty,” you smiled and it felt more sincere than it looked, only barely hiding the embarrassment from not having working lights set up yet. “More and we might set the place on fire before I unpack,” you pulled some paper plates and cups from the grocery bag, hoping no one would mind as much as you did.

You knew they wouldn’t, knew they wouldn’t mind sitting on dented boxes, eating cold pasta, and drinking fancy alcohol out of party cups. If anything it just felt like a testament to your fate, to how rash your decision was, how unprepared you were for whatever was to come. It reminded you that you had no idea how to exist outside of your terror, if you weren’t protecting your mother, what were you doing? Throwing lackluster dinner parties while she was still ever miserable with a horrid man and no escape. It made you feel all the more guilty, and all the more selfish. You couldn’t comprehend the excitement you were expected to be expressing. With all your might you had to convince yourself not to run right back to that blush pink bedroom stained at every inch with dried tears and echoed with screams of bitterness.

You had to convince yourself once again that you were free and you deserved to be as much, you didn’t choose to be born into that madness, you had every right to run away from it. She chose to stay, countless times, no matter how many scary nights or pleating fits of fear, she chose to stay.

“I think we can paint the walls if you’d like, Morgan would help me, though I wouldn’t ask Garcia because she might end up choosing a bright green or yellow,” you met his breathy scoff with a lazy hum, stilled in the middle of counting out the right amount of bamboo forks, staring at the only corner you’d managed to unpack- the photo frames. Spencer followed your gaze, and landed on a large frame with a colourful picture of you and your mom at the theatre, only a few months ago, her smile was only ever that big when you were away from home, from him. You dropped the lightweight utensils with a sigh, everything felt wrong, you felt wrong. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” he knew the answer but didn’t know how to approach the situation without asking anyway. You hummed, bit back a fake smile that would only turn to a frown even if you tried to stop it, and folded your arms around yourself to ground you.

How a space so small, so full, could feel so void, lonely, you weren't sure. Your mom had been dying for years, not physically, but he’d been hacking away at her soul since you could remember- left a shell of her, a ghost, you’d mourn her daily, he made sure of it. Now the mourning was different, the grief, leaving your best friend, your shadow felt like you’d buried her alive and left her screaming. Horrendous thing, the juxtaposition of it all, you couldn’t spend another second in that house, can’t imagine taking another breath without her at your side. You hoped she’d follow, it’s why you borrowed the queen size mattress and not the single from Hotch, space for her, somewhere to escape to when she was ready, but who’d protect her while she wasn’t?

“I was thinking,” careful hands slid over your elbows, loving smile met your gaze. “With your power still out, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone in the dark. Maybe I can stay over?” Spencer was never so forward, if he were he’d present you with ample facts to support his case first, not such a simple little tale of charm.

“Please,” you’d not usually accept so easily, but you were being profiled, you’d learn to know when you were and though not always intentional, Spencer tended not to notice how unsubtle he was with it. You smiled, traded your own embrace for his, looked up at him with your chin planted on his chest. “How am I reading, Dr. Reid?”

“Not well,” he tutted, brows dipped with sympathy, eyes sparkling with genuine care as foreign as it comes. “Which is valid, every horrible and amazing feeling that you’re experiencing is completely valid.”

“I’m scared she’ll never forgive me.”

“There’s nothing to be forgiven for, you are not her keeper, she knows that, you love her but that’s still the truth,” he kissed your forehead, squeezed you a little tighter than before. “You know all of this, but I won’t stop reminding you.”

“Can we visit her?”

“As many times as you need to.”

You stood like that for too long before the room echoed with far too eager knocks, dinner was cold but delicious as only Rossi can achieve and when the cake came you were sat on the floor next to Spencer, smiling as Derek bargained for the biggest piece. Spencer’s hand was entangled with yours in his lap, head on his shoulder and for just a second you felt light, weightless- new.

“Are you still okay, sweetheart?” he whispered with a soft smile, hopeful and you nodded, instantly took the plate when JJ handed you the biggest piece of cake.

“I think so, Spence, I think it’s all going to be okay.”

Maybe it was delusion, maybe tomorrow you’d wake up drowning in dread and pack your few unpacked boxes to go back, maybe you’d stay and spend every second hating yourself for giving up on her, not saving her, maybe she’d finally leave and start over. Maybe you’d stay stuck in time, lingering between the first time he did it and the last, forever the little girl who grew up too soon because someone had to take responsibility for saving her. Maybe you had no purpose beyond that, maybe that’s what you were made for, to fix her and comfort her and stand up for her. Maybe you were the biggest of failures for thinking you could have more from life than that horror, that love ridden burden. Maybe peace only comes after and not during life, born into chaos, into hatred out of young love, maybe the idea of your freedom was as fleeting as his affinity for family. How can someone raised in darkness ever dare to look for light, let alone try and live in it? Maybe you were only ever meant to be nothing more and nothing less than a lesson about how broken people make broken children. Shackled by the knowledge that you never should’ve been, she’d left him sooner if you weren’t.

Imagine that, your whole life devoted to making up for being born, for making it impossible to leave until it was far too late. Hope and freedom, like love, is nothing but a golden cage.